1 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:43,914 You're so good. 2 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,270 I'm the best, baby. 3 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,831 That was a tit, that is a tit, yes. 4 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,913 You're so big, 5 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,316 Yeah, that's right, baby. 6 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,193 Doggy wants to hide his bone, 7 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,835 I'm bone smuggling, 8 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,229 Would you shut up? 9 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,355 Jimmy, just wanted to say sweet dreams. 10 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,794 Good night, Mom. 11 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:07,955 Good night. 12 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,598 Something wrong with the reception? 13 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:13,597 Yeah, yeah. 14 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,195 I was trying to watch this nature show. 15 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,959 The birds are scrambled... 16 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:18,797 and I can't... 17 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,069 Do me!, 18 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,792 Ride me like a pony, 19 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,435 Must be broken. I sat on the remote. 20 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,716 - Ready for be? - All set. 21 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,753 I think he's trying to watch some illegal channels. 22 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,115 Illegal channels? 23 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:34,799 That's just bad reception. 24 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,752 - Spank my ass. - What? 25 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,111 Just give me this, please. 26 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,553 And let's get this... 27 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,469 Okay, okay. 28 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,913 What's wrong with this? 29 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,597 Illegal channels? If there's one channel... 30 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,633 that should be illegal, it's that woman's... 31 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,910 "Lifetime Supply of Pantyhose", or some shit. 32 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,910 Did you see "Little Mermaid" on TV? 33 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,752 That Ariel's so hot. 34 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,353 She's a mermaid, dude. 35 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,831 But not when she's on land. 36 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,957 Vicky, it's Stifler's party. 37 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,798 We gotta go, it'll be great. 38 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,797 Why? All that happens is a bunch of... 39 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,752 people will get drunk and do it. 40 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,116 Yeah. 41 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,830 - Open it, Kevin. - It's a thick... 42 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,758 envelope, you got in. 43 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,073 Just open it. 44 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:34,596 Fine. 45 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,675 "Dear Mrs. Latham: after putting you on a waiting list... 46 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,350 we've decided you are now rejected." 47 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:50,670 Shut up. 48 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,470 You got in. 49 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,478 Yes! I love you. 50 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:57,995 Okay. 51 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,151 Should I wear this shirt to the party? 52 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,476 You've worn that shirt for 3 days. 53 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,113 Guys, she said it. 54 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,994 - What? - That she loves me. 55 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,151 Shit! The "L" word? 56 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,431 Cornell's not far from U of M. 57 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,318 Yeah, only 7 hours. 58 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,478 And you get to drive across Canada. Beautiful country. 59 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,911 Whatever. It's doable. 60 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,716 Today in band, instead of playing regularly,... 61 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,990 let's play backwards. 62 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,553 That'll be so funny. 63 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,358 You're talking about a... 64 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,915 post-high school long-distance relationship... 65 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,872 and you two haven't even done it yet. 66 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,752 That's not why we're going out. 67 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,270 What would he drive you to Cornell for, milk and cookies? 68 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,516 We'll have sex when we're ready. 69 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,518 It has to be perfect. 70 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,553 I want the right time, the right place. 71 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,354 It's not a space shuttle launch, it's sex. 72 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:06,191 Finch. 73 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,072 - The man we're looking for. - Gentlemen. 74 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,072 - What's going on? - Same old. 75 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,156 Finch, you got the Latin homework? 76 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,555 Canis menus id comedit, 77 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,795 "My dog ate it". A joke. 78 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,037 - A Latin joke. - Drink your coffee, Finch. 79 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,469 - Jim, it's mochaccino. - What? 80 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,950 I'm drinking mochaccino, not coffee. 81 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:30,876 Nova! 82 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:33,636 What's up, dude? 83 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,956 Coming to the party tonight, fuckface? 84 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,230 If my date wants to stop by. 85 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:39,509 I'm working on something new. 86 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,438 Here's something new. 87 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,671 You guys locate your dicks,... 88 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,519 remove the shrink-wrap, and use them! 89 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,110 Dude, it'll happen. She's a college chick. 90 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,550 Right. See you tonight... 91 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,398 in the "No Fucking" section. 92 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,189 I'm shooting for 9 ETA. Beer in hand by 5 after. 93 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,390 Breath check? 94 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:05,350 Please. 95 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:07,631 Thank you. 96 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,953 - Don't do that. - Got a plan for tonight? 97 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,634 It's a foolproof plan, my friend. 98 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,518 I have a question for you. 99 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,791 You know Nadia, the Czechoslovakian chick? 100 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,353 She may be there tonight. 101 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,432 You think she'd prefer... 102 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,791 Laid Back Jim, or... 103 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,668 Cool Hip Jim? 104 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,434 It doesn't matter with that shirt you're wearing. 105 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,756 You have a girlfriend and you're stuck on 3rd base. 106 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,640 At least I know what 3rd base feels like. 107 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,637 You're still a bat boy. 108 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,956 Bat boy? What are you talking about? 109 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:54,875 Guys,... 110 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,348 what does 3rd base feel like? 111 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,553 You want to take this one? 112 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,630 Like warm apple pie. 113 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,588 Apple pie, huh? 114 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,113 McDonalds or homemade? 115 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,070 Gentlemen,... 116 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,109 destiny awaits. 117 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,232 That's number 5 and 6 for the Stifmeister. 118 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,999 Holy Lord. 119 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:35,750 Nadia, "buenos días". Glad you could make it. 120 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:37,429 I'll be back for you later. 121 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,992 Now the party's starting! 122 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,635 Welcome to Stifler's palace of love. 123 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,950 The keg's back there. Enjoy. 124 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,549 Vicky, Jessica, glad you could make it. 125 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:56,870 Bitches. 126 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:58,510 Sherman! 127 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,992 What the fuck are you doing here? 128 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,828 Fellas, what's going on? 129 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,032 Not much. Just scoping the babes. 130 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,919 Indeed. Some fine ladies here, boys. 131 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,109 Confidence is high. 132 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,117 Repeat, confidence is high. 133 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,515 Sherman's moving to DEFCON 2. 134 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,039 Full strategic arsenal... 135 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,673 waiting for development. 136 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,638 You have something planned? 137 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,990 See that Central chick, the brunette? 138 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,712 She's around. Seems she's taken a liking to me. 139 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:34,111 Fellas,... 140 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,318 it's time she experienced the Sherminator. 141 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,716 Yeah, okay, Sherman. Whatever. 142 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,709 I'm a sophisticated sex robot, sent back in time... 143 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,111 to change the future of one lucky lady 144 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,794 Go, tiger. 145 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,428 I'll be back. 146 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,313 - Hopeless. - Completely. 147 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,278 - Hi. - Hey, Vic. 148 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:57,950 Oh, shit. 149 00:07:58,520 --> 00:07:59,396 Guys, guys. 150 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:00,995 There's Nadia... 151 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,429 and she just looked at me. 152 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,314 She looked at me. 153 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:05,555 Go talk to her. 154 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,509 You're right. I should go talk to her. 155 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,318 I could do that. Sure. 156 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,156 Sure. 157 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,270 That's great. 158 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,350 See you later. 159 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,199 We're here for the party. 160 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,396 What party? 161 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,275 - There's no party. - Stifler! 162 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,515 Party! 163 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:32,750 Weird. 164 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,839 Try down the street. 165 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,110 So, what's your major? 166 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,636 Postmodern feminist thought. 167 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,675 Cool. Great night, isn't it? 168 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,110 Sure. 169 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,472 There's something about springtime that's just cool. 170 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,475 Like the smell of... 171 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,193 fresh rain or something. 172 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,709 Suck me, beautiful. 173 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,115 What? 174 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,919 Suck me, beautiful. 175 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,119 My friends call me Nova. 176 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,672 As in Casanova. 177 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,229 That's pathetic. 178 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,591 You don't have to laugh at me. 179 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,518 You just need to learn a bit. 180 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,836 - Like what? - Tone it down. 181 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,231 You don't need to... 182 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,954 spout off cheeseball lines to be romantic. 183 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:29,990 Okay. 184 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,749 Pay attention to a girl. Be sensitive with her. 185 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,237 Relationships are reciprocal. 186 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,079 Come on, Casanova, I'll take... 187 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,998 you back to your friends. 188 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:49,075 Do you think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? 189 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,549 Tonight? 190 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,632 It's such a perfect evening. 191 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,469 Isn't this how you always pictured it? 192 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,591 Man, my farts fucking stink. 193 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,837 You got to take a shit! You smell like a Yeti. 194 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:02,836 Or not. 195 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,595 Just relax. 196 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,559 You actually said that? 197 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:14,989 Shut up. 198 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,030 You did better than I did with Nadia. 199 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,959 Thanks. That's really reassuring. 200 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,673 No problem, Nova. 201 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,397 Don't call me Nova anymore. 202 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:26,835 I'm a fraud. 203 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,837 You guys are pathetic. 204 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,437 I'm going to find myself a bottle. 205 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,471 Suck me, beautiful! 206 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,479 - Let me know. - Okay. 207 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,190 Keep going. 208 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,598 I should be able to talk to girls. 209 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,468 I'm articulate. 210 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,874 I scored 720 on my SAT Verbal. 211 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,672 Bullshit. No way. 212 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,474 I kid you not, man. Listen. 213 00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,670 Copious. 214 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,954 Verisimilitude. 215 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:05,830 Now. 216 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,717 Suck me, beautiful. 217 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,476 - Damn it, Stifler. - Checkout time! 218 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,313 Please, vacate. 219 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,879 You are such a jerk! 220 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,838 There are many cool people at this party. 221 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,311 And you got a keg, too. 222 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,669 Indeed. 223 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,390 Wait, I left my beer downstairs. 224 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,479 Here, babe. 225 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,275 Thanks. 226 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,153 You're really beautiful. 227 00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:58,351 Really? 228 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,714 I don't know if I should be doing this. 229 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,396 - Doing what? - Well, if we... 230 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,355 hook up tonight,... 231 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,199 tomorrow you'll just tell all your friends. 232 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,035 No way! 233 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,517 Steve, at least look at me when you say that. 234 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:33,356 Look,... 235 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,351 Sarah,... 236 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,470 I wouldn't go telling stories about you. 237 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,797 I promise. So just... 238 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,549 relax. 239 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,673 Take it slow... 240 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,152 and let the good times roll. 241 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,189 Okay. 242 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:52,710 All right. 243 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,270 What's wrong? 244 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:04,750 What's wrong? 245 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,036 What is it? 246 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:10,435 Xenophobic. 247 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,070 - Regurgitation. - I know that one. 248 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,589 Kevin likes it. 249 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,917 He likes getting head. What a shocker! 250 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,199 What about you? Never had one with Kevin... 251 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,311 or never had one, period? 252 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:32,470 I've had one. 253 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,718 - I think. - Okay. 254 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,069 That's a no. 255 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,596 No wonder you're not psyched about sex. 256 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,950 What about manually? 257 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,070 I've never tried it. 258 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,719 Never clicked your mouse? 259 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:47,795 Nice. 260 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,436 Jesus, Stifler, how much did you drink? 261 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,079 How's the pale ale? 262 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,634 Fuck you. 263 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,115 - That's Stifler's mom? - Yep. 264 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:02,916 Shit. 265 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,877 I can't believe such a fine woman produced a guy like Stifler. 266 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,755 - Dude, that chick's a MILF. - A what? 267 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,077 M.I.L.F. Mom I'd Like to Fuck! 268 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,552 MILF! MILF! 269 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:20,990 Come here. 270 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,352 What's going on, Sherman? 271 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,708 Do you think you fellas... 272 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,394 could try a little tact? 273 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,359 I got company... 274 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,035 if you know what I mean. 275 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,879 She's hot. 276 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,834 If Sherman has sex before I do,... 277 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,718 I'll be really pissed. 278 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,439 The Sherminator? 279 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:50,635 Come on, man. 280 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,354 MILF! MILF! 281 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,512 What are you doing? 282 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,799 My God, bro. 283 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,870 Enough of this blow job shit. I got to get laid. 284 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,593 Really, really nice. 285 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,638 - Can I have a ride? - Sure. 286 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,957 - Vicky, wait. - Not for you. 287 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,160 Yeti! I am the Yeti! 288 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,352 - Morning, gentlemen. - Finch. 289 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,871 Where were you last night? What about that foolproof plan? 290 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,869 It was a fashionable late entrance, but I was too late. 291 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,874 No ladies left. 292 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,038 It was a very special night. 293 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,590 Guys, guys. 294 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,393 I'll never forget this. 295 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,234 Me, either. 296 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:52,829 Thank you. 297 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,832 - Well, bye. - Bye. 298 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,997 Fellas, say good-bye to Sherman the boy. 299 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,437 I'm now a man. 300 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,230 I highly recommend you join the club. 301 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,353 We were doing the wild thing all night. 302 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,433 I'm exhausted. 303 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,319 How the hell did you do that? 304 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,279 It was just my time. 305 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,114 Just my time. 306 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,232 Best of luck to you, boys. 307 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,593 I cannot believe this. 308 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:33,989 Come on, guys. 309 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,878 We should be happy for Sherman. 310 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,199 No, we shouldn't. 311 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,108 I've put in months of time with Vicky. 312 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,869 Sherman meets a chick one night and scores. This is wrong. 313 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,149 No shit. 314 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,632 How am I going to become Mr. Sensitive Man? 315 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,394 We're all going to go to college as virgins. 316 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,755 I bet there's special dorms for people like us. 317 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,473 I have an idea. 318 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,232 But it's between us. 319 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,069 We just have to make an agreement. 320 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,077 More than an agreement. 321 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,231 - A bet? - A pact. 322 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,590 No money. More important than a bet. 323 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,869 Here it is: 324 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,355 We all get laid before we graduate. 325 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,191 Dude,... 326 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,590 it's not like I haven't been trying. 327 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,153 Think of when you work out. 328 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,476 You have to have someone there to... 329 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:27,355 motivate you. That's what we'll do for each other. 330 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,950 We'll keep each other on track. 331 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,832 Separately, we're vulnerable. 332 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,474 Together, we can master our sexual destiny. 333 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,229 Their kung fu is strong, but our dragon style will defeat it. 334 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:38,997 Guys,... 335 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,919 The masters from East and West must fight... 336 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,190 and find out who is number one. 337 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,072 You're ruining my moment here. 338 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,915 Our manhood is at stake. 339 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,515 We must make a stand here and now. 340 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,070 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused. 341 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,395 We will fight... 342 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,160 for each man who isn't getting laid and should be. 343 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,674 This is our day. 344 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,468 This is our time. 345 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,713 We will not watch history condemn us into celibacy. 346 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,109 - Amen. - I like that. 347 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,314 We will make a stand. We will succeed. 348 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,510 About time! 349 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,312 We will get laid! 350 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,196 Sex... 351 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,470 must be valid, consensual sex. 352 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,712 No prostitutes, if that's what you were thinking, Finch. 353 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,190 Busted. 354 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,715 So, basically, prom is our last chance. 355 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,877 - Prom sucks. - I know. 356 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,470 But think of all the parties afterwards. 357 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,911 - Chicks will want to do it. - He's right. 358 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,156 It's like tradition, or something. 359 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,829 Like the Rose Bowl. 360 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,553 So that gives us... 361 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,671 Exactly 3 weeks to the day. 362 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,749 We will do this. 363 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,109 To the next step. 364 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,873 The next step! 365 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,195 - You got it? - Yeah. 366 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,833 ELECTRONIC DATE 367 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,351 Did you get the flowers? 368 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:09,917 Don't worry,... 369 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,872 - you'll get her back. - You think? 370 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,753 - Sure, she likes you. - I like her, too. 371 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:15,631 Do you love her? 372 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,394 You can't really ask me that. 373 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,313 You want her in the sack, say you love her. 374 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,794 That's how I was duped. 375 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,589 Jessica, I don't want to dupe her. 376 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:29,671 All right. 377 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,033 You must learn how to press a girl's buttons. 378 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,674 - Give her what she's never had. - What's that? 379 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,594 Here's a hint. 380 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,313 An orgasm? 381 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,748 You got it, stud. 382 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,428 Well, I'm pretty sure I've given her a... 383 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:50,756 No, you haven't. 384 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,392 There was one time... 385 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,994 - Oh, man. - Look,... 386 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,237 it's up to you. The big "L" or the big "O". 387 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:01,791 Dickhead! 388 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,199 You got to see this. 389 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,198 You believe in magic in a young girl's heart? 390 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,472 How the music can free you wheneverit starts? 391 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,753 It's magic if the music is groovy, it makes me feel happy, 392 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,236 What'd you cocks do to him? 393 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,318 Music frees your soul but,,, 394 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:25,308 it's like telling a stranger about rock and roll, 395 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,316 Great. 396 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:27,470 See you next time. 397 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:34,190 Come to watch me in action? 398 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,598 You sounded pretty good. 399 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:37,557 Yeah, man. 400 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,432 You need your balls reattached. 401 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:40,993 Keep it down, dude. 402 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,719 Why the fuck are you here? 403 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,951 This is an untapped resource. 404 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,958 Check it out. These... 405 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,673 jazz girls are hot. 406 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,155 Why'd he join the jazz choir so late? 407 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,916 Maybe he's preparing for another senior year. 408 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,396 We don't even know him. 409 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,553 You dipshit. 410 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,719 You expect to score with some goody-goody choir girl priss? 411 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:07,955 They don't know me. 412 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,833 I can work the sensitive angle here. 413 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,031 It's like that college chick said. 414 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,635 You just ask questions and... 415 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,990 listen to what they have to say and shit. 416 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,358 I don't know. Sounds like a lot of work. 417 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:26,668 Just a second. 418 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,115 Come in. 419 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:35,713 Jim, you're here. 420 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,353 I was just walking by your room... 421 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,590 and was thinking it's been a long time... 422 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,030 since we've had a father-son chat. 423 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,839 Oh, I almost forgot. 424 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,359 I bought some magazines. 425 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,555 You want to flip to the center section? 426 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,995 Well, this is the female form. 427 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,994 They have focused on the breasts... 428 00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,749 which are used primarily to... 429 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,678 feed young infants. 430 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,429 And also in... 431 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,638 - foreplay. - Right. 432 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,071 That is... 433 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:14,549 Hustler. 434 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,150 This is a much more exotic magazine. 435 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,635 They have decided to focus more on... 436 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,879 the pubic region. 437 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,591 The whole groin area. 438 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,591 Look at the expression on her face. 439 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:30,348 See what she's doing? 440 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,074 She's looking into your eyes, saying: 441 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,188 "Hey, big boy,... 442 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,073 how you doing?" 443 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,674 - You see? - Right. 444 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:42,475 Shaved... 445 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,798 is a magazine I'm not too familiar with but,... 446 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,997 if you'll flip to the center... 447 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,116 section,... 448 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,039 you'll see the detail... 449 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,879 in this picture here. 450 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,640 It almost looks like a tropical plant. 451 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,671 Some underwater thing. 452 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,678 You know what a clitoris is? 453 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,394 My God! Yes, I know what it is. 454 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,194 I see. You do. You know everything. 455 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,516 I learned it in sex ed. You don't need to... 456 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,392 I was just trying to help you. 457 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,431 I'm sorry, okay? 458 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:16,559 I'm sorry. 459 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,154 - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. 460 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,950 I shouldn't have gotten so hot. Know what I'll do? 461 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,549 I'll leave these books here... 462 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,512 for you to peruse... 463 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:27,994 at your pleasure. 464 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:29,631 Wait! 465 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,551 Safer than a tube sock. 466 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,592 Okay, that was good. 467 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,309 See you at dinner. 468 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:48,633 Yeah, see you at dinner. 469 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,277 Finch, this is your plan? 470 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:52,589 I don't think girls... 471 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,472 are into mini-golf. 472 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,318 I'm sure they're not. 473 00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,276 There's one matter I need your cooperation in. 474 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,119 - In the spirit of the pact. - What? 475 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,437 Whatever you hear about me, agree. Tell the boys. 476 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:07,755 I have to go. 477 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,678 16 minutes round trip. 478 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,675 Finch, it's senior year. 479 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,309 It's time to take a dump at school. 480 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,553 Have you seen the facilities in the school? 481 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:26,830 Excuse me. 482 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,476 That's Paul Finch, right? 483 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:30,391 Yeah. 484 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,511 You've seen him in the locker room. 485 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:34,310 Yeah. 486 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,355 My friends want to know. Is it true? 487 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,716 You know, that he's so equipped. 488 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,790 I don't know. He showers with his bathing suit on. 489 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,918 Actually, it's true. 490 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:51,078 - The guy's huge. - He have a date for the prom? 491 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,833 No, definitely not. 492 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,519 All right. Thanks. 493 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,036 Oh, man! 494 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,392 I was thinking... 495 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,478 if you could give me some brotherly advice. 496 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,238 Some kind of trick,,, 497 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,636 -to make her,,, -Orgasm? 498 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:09,151 Yeah. 499 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:10,436 What's good here? 500 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,711 - Try the spicy tuna hand roll. - What? 501 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,069 How do you do that? 502 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,157 Never mind that. Pay attention. 503 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,352 Is all you want just getting her into bed? 504 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,672 It'd be nice to be able to return the favor. 505 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,315 I want her to enjoy things as much as me, 506 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,432 That's what I wanted to hear. Now you qualify. 507 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,119 Qualify for what? 508 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,998 You just inherited the Bible. 509 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,117 It originated as a sex manual... 510 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,397 some guys got in Amsterdam. 511 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,036 Each year, it was passed on to one student who was worthy. 512 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,632 Now it's full of stuff guys have added over the years. 513 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,392 You must keep it a secret... 514 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,431 and return it at the end of the year. 515 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,511 Now you know. Good luck. 516 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,675 Do you believe in magic? 517 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,598 Don't you bother to choose,,, 518 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,997 if it's band music or rhythm and blues, 519 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,158 Just go and listen, It'll start with a smile,,, 520 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,272 that won't wipe off your face, no matter how hard you try, 521 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,995 Your feet start tapping and you can't seem to find,,, 522 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,077 how you got there, 523 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,430 Do you believe in magic? 524 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,518 Magic, 525 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:34,910 What was that? 526 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,631 - Sorry. - No, it was good. 527 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,080 It came from the heart. 528 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,032 Keep it coming. 529 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,071 Good work, people. 530 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,840 Remember, state competition is 2 weeks away. 531 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:52,996 So keep on it, okay? 532 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,068 Not bad, Chris. 533 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,036 Really? 534 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,476 Thanks. Heather, right? 535 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,357 Yeah. 536 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,873 You've got the Frank Sinatra thing going? 537 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:16,797 Right. 538 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,358 I feel I've discovered this whole new side of me. 539 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,830 Music is so expressive. 540 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,314 Okay. I agree, but... 541 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,398 shouldn't you be out trying to decapitate someone with... 542 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,353 - your lacrosse stick? - Sure. 543 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,756 I know what people think. 544 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,157 "Oz is just this kick-ass lacrosse player." 545 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:39,952 I also play football. 546 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,594 But that's not all I am, you know. 547 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,074 Of course not. 548 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,592 It bothers me when people try to pigeonhole me. 549 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:49,676 You? 550 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,871 You think I don't get that? 551 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,356 Because I don't get drunk and barf every weekend,... 552 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:57,709 people say: 553 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,474 "There's that goody-two-shoes choir girl priss." 554 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,637 Yeah, so, what else do you do? 555 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,954 The same things you do. 556 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,868 Hang out with friends and stuff. 557 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,196 - What do you think I do? - I just... 558 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,348 realized I don't know anything about you. I was interested. 559 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,238 What do you want to know? 560 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,914 You know, stuff...about you. 561 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:27,909 All right. 562 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,352 Mom, I'm home. 563 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:37,793 It's not what it looks like. 564 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,076 Well,... 565 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,953 we'll just tell your mother we ate it all. 566 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,390 Goal by number 8, Chris Ostreicher, 567 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:34,109 Great game. 568 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,951 What are you doing here? 569 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,830 Enjoying my first exhilarating lacrosse experience. 570 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:44,916 You kicked butt. 571 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,517 - Thanks. - Chris. 572 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,398 Call me Oz, if you want. 573 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,796 - Do I have to? - Or Ostreicher. 574 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,877 - What's your middle name? - Forget it. 575 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,354 I won't tell anyone. 576 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,153 Neither will I. 577 00:32:58,040 --> 00:32:58,870 Okay. 578 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,991 So, I had this thought. 579 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,638 It may seem way out of field. 580 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,592 I don't know if you can, but... 581 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,075 I'm not going with anyone, so I thought maybe... 582 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,152 Those guys sucked ass! 583 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,916 What are you doing here? 584 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,396 Well, I was asking Chris to the prom. 585 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,279 Do you want to go? 586 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,670 Yeah, that would be great. 587 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:27,556 Don't expect... 588 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,672 - Oz to pay for the limo. - Stifler, fuck! 589 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:32,116 I mean... 590 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,714 why are you so insensitive all the time? 591 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:37,951 What? 592 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:40,989 Whatever. Remember... 593 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,510 my cottage after the prom. On Lake Michigan. 594 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:47,993 Wait up, you pussies! 595 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,398 I have to hit the showers now, but... 596 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,394 I think this will be really good. 597 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,358 Yeah, me, too. 598 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,196 All right. 599 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,199 My man, Oz. 600 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,599 Working the choir chick? 601 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,117 I dig the cute sweaters she wears. 602 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,436 I bet you do, man. 603 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,635 Yeah, baby! 604 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:23,878 Spank me, daddy! 605 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,992 Hit that high C! 606 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:32,999 What's going on here? 607 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,673 I was being selfish, and insensitive. 608 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,155 I'm a total idiot. A buffoon! 609 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,590 I think "shithead" really says it. 610 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,398 You're right, I'm a shithead. 611 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:49,953 I want to make it up to you. 612 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:51,190 Oh, yeah? 613 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:52,476 How? 614 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,595 Vicky, your parents are downstairs. 615 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,438 Kevin, don't stop. 616 00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:01,835 One second. 617 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,394 Hon, tell Vick to come down for supper. 618 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:17,875 Holy shit! 619 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,317 There's no lock on your door. 620 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:29,476 I'm coming! 621 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:30,510 I'm coming! 622 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:36,517 Dad. 623 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:39,792 I was looking at the family portrait here. 624 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,232 That was a fun day, wasn't it? 625 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:43,789 Yeah, yeah. 626 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,390 Jim, I want to talk about masturbation. 627 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,878 I want you to know that... 628 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,150 it's a perfectly normal thing. 629 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:57,035 And I have to admit I did a fair bit of... 630 00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,710 masturbating when I was younger. 631 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,560 I used to call it stroking the salami. 632 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,558 You know, pounding the old pud. 633 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,756 I never did it with baked goods. 634 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,960 Your Uncle Mort pinched the one-eyed shake... 635 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,435 5,6 times a day. It's like... 636 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,671 practice for the big game. 637 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,230 You see? 638 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:19,674 It's like... 639 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,553 banging a tennis ball against a brick wall,... 640 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,199 which can be fun. 641 00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:27,517 But it's not a game. 642 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:29,392 - Right. - It's not a game. 643 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,232 What you want is a partner to return the ball. 644 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,759 You want a partner? 645 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:36,833 Yeah, I want a partner. 646 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,712 - You do? - Yeah, I want one. 647 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,592 Of course. 648 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:41,830 Good. 649 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:43,917 Good. 650 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:46,116 So,... 651 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,869 once Hal is kind he has to take on... 652 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,230 responsibilities and turn his back... 653 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,635 on his old drunken friend Falstaff. 654 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,559 He is going through a right of passage,... 655 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:57,875 as you all are. 656 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,311 So make the most of the time you have left together. 657 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,556 Does your tongue cramp up? 658 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,394 No. You get kind of dizzy, though. 659 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,550 That's amazing. She'll probably want to do it soon. 660 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,513 Class dismissed. 661 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,876 Still questing after the Holy Grail, guys? 662 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,279 Where's Finch? 663 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,278 He went home to take a shit. 664 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,715 How does a guy like that get this sudden reputation? 665 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,354 What reputation? 666 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:38,749 Observe. 667 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:40,515 Excuse me. 668 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,318 You know who Paul Finch is? 669 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,671 The guy with the tattoo. 670 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:47,871 You know,... 671 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,548 the eagle, the blazing fire and all that stuff. 672 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,472 If you guys see him, tell him Courtney says hi. 673 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:56,957 Bye. 674 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,591 Okay, explain. 675 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,795 I don't know how he's doing it. 676 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,430 I guess that leaves Jim trailing. 677 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,200 - Jimbo. - Better stack up. 678 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,630 - I'm working on it, okay? - James? 679 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,748 You are very good in world history class, yes? 680 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,477 Me? Yes. No... 681 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,713 Yes, I am. 682 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,036 Perhaps you could help me with my studies. 683 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,152 Yeah, absolutely. That would be great sometime. 684 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:29,674 How about tomorrow? 685 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,996 Well, I have ballet practice. 686 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,753 I could come by your house afterwards. 687 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,036 I could change at your place. 688 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,995 Yeah, I suppose that would be okay. 689 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:46,156 Sure. 690 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,114 Nice car. 691 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,554 - I'm glad you think so. - You don't like it? 692 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,911 I like the car. But about the prom? 693 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,759 That was a bad idea. I'm sorry I invited you. 694 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,150 - What do you mean? - Please. 695 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,111 I asked you because I thought you might be worth going with. 696 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,716 But you're just a jock. No, wait. A jerk. 697 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,590 I don't understand. 698 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,992 I saw you making fun of me with your lacrosse buddies. 699 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,876 - Heather, I wasn't making fun... - You're full of it. 700 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:33,070 Fuck me! There will be an Eastern European chick... 701 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,670 naked in my house, and you're doing nothing? 702 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,190 What can I do, broadcast her over the Internet? 703 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:41,676 Yeah. 704 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:43,789 You can do that? 705 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,072 I can't do that to her. 706 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,994 Jim, get some fucking balls. 707 00:39:54,720 --> 00:39:57,393 If you haven't the guts to photograph a naked chick,... 708 00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,079 how will you sleep with her? 709 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,709 I don't like him, but he's right. 710 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:02,710 See? 711 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,238 Even Shitbreak knows you should. 712 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,750 Just set up some private link on the Net and... 713 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,313 tell me the address. 714 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,477 Send me the address, too. 715 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:14,713 I'll save you a seat. 716 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,112 How sweet it is to be loved by you, 717 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,949 I needed the shelter of someone's arms, 718 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,233 There you were, 719 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,791 I needed someone to understand my ups and downs, 720 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:35,718 There you were, 721 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:36,949 That was good. 722 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:38,588 But thicken up... 723 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:40,199 the solo. Michigan State... 724 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,436 is Saturday and I want that part to smoke. 725 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,672 My timing was off. 726 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,030 It's not that, but it works better as a duet... 727 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:49,470 - with a tenor. - I'll do it. 728 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:52,510 Dick. 729 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,758 - I'll do it. - Great. 730 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,029 See you tomorrow. 731 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,313 Why are you doing this? 732 00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:06,676 - Because I want to. - Yeah? 733 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,433 You can't fake this. You'd better practice. 734 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:23,877 Come in. 735 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:27,355 There's a... 736 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,876 young lady here to see you. 737 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,390 - Hey, Nadia. - James. Ready to study? 738 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,875 Always. He's a real bookworm. 739 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:36,348 - Dad. - I mean... 740 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,278 not one of those nerdy guys... 741 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:39,276 Dad! 742 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,594 I'll let you two hit the books. 743 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,075 Want a beer? 744 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:51,310 There we go. 745 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:52,919 Come on, move! 746 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:54,715 Steve! 747 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,194 It's my computer and I want to use it! 748 00:41:58,400 --> 00:41:59,549 Shut up. 749 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,235 You need to change, right? 750 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,150 - Do you mind? - No, not at all. 751 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:08,433 Just go ahead and get un-... get changed. 752 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,713 I'll go downstairs and start... 753 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:11,875 studying up. 754 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:13,237 All right. 755 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:15,277 There he goes. 756 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,159 Now we're in business. 757 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,518 - Back in a sec. - Jimmy, honey... 758 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,429 Here she is. 759 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,189 I miss anything? 760 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:50,277 No,... 761 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:51,635 you're just in time. 762 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,319 This is incredible. 763 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:56,790 Oh, my God! 764 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,149 This is too much. 765 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,396 You see? There that goes. 766 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:02,959 God bless the Internet. 767 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,315 - Take it off. - Oh, my God! 768 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,550 Thank you, God, for this wonderful day. 769 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,317 Man, she takes her vitamins. 770 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,279 Stop hyperventilating. 771 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,477 This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. 772 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:29,630 I know. 773 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,474 This was one of Stifler's best ideas ever. 774 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:37,999 She's touching my stuff. 775 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:39,519 Why is she doing that? 776 00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:41,438 - Let her touch. - She's in my stuff. 777 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,711 Nadia can touch anything she wants. 778 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,272 Nice collection, Jim. 779 00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,033 She's going to leave. 780 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,156 She's lying down. She's not leaving. 781 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,159 She reads the articles. 782 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:16,231 Is she...? 783 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,593 She's going downstairs. 784 00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,468 Oh, my God! 785 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:28,793 Jackpot, baby! 786 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:29,989 Unbelievable. 787 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,272 I have an announcement. There's a gorgeous woman... 788 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,556 masturbating on my bed! 789 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,074 - Thank you, Nadia. - If you... 790 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,795 ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it. 791 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,592 What am I supposed to do? 792 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:45,994 Seduce her. 793 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,268 What would I say? 794 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,558 Go and ask her if she needs an extra hand. 795 00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:53,955 That's stupid. 796 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,515 You're stupid if you don't go! 797 00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:58,312 Get over there! 798 00:44:58,560 --> 00:44:59,959 She's primed! 799 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,151 - Get out of here! - She's waiting. 800 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:03,315 Okay, I'm going. 801 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:05,549 - Go. - I'm going! 802 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:06,988 - Go, go, go! - Shit! 803 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,469 Hey, Mom, Dad. 804 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,433 Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, crap. 805 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:40,950 Hello? 806 00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,799 Jim addressed the E-mail wrong. 807 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,591 What? 808 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,793 It went to every mailbox in the East High Directory. 809 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:49,798 God, how juvenile. 810 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:51,676 Hey, guys. 811 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,471 Check this out. Oh, my God! 812 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,435 Please, God,... 813 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,194 let this be it. 814 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:06,390 Please. 815 00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:12,354 Someone's coming in. 816 00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,036 That's what you need to do. 817 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:20,798 He's in my trig class. 818 00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,551 Looks like you need an extra hand. 819 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,109 Oh, God! 820 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:29,588 Shame on you. 821 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,036 Shame on me. I'm so sorry. 822 00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:34,111 - I'll just go. - Well,... 823 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,513 you have seen me. 824 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,193 Now it's my turn to see you. 825 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:43,515 Strip. 826 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,476 - Strip? - Slowly. 827 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:50,436 You mean like... 828 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:51,755 strip-strip? 829 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:52,950 For me? 830 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:56,919 What are they talking about? 831 00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:58,195 No idea. 832 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,473 People are viewing, Jim. Get to business. 833 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:05,989 Perfect. 834 00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:09,917 - Move, James! - Yeah, I'm moving. 835 00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,391 Go, trig boy, it's your birthday! 836 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,033 - Oh, no! - Please, God. 837 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:34,196 That's bad. 838 00:47:34,720 --> 00:47:35,391 What happened? 839 00:47:42,240 --> 00:47:43,036 Get in the mix! 840 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,439 That is disgusting. 841 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,190 What the fuck is this? 842 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:54,748 Cut it out. 843 00:48:13,720 --> 00:48:14,709 Freak. 844 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,831 He did not take out that chair. 845 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,473 Yeah, he did. 846 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,557 More, you bad boy! 847 00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,029 Yeah, I'm bad. 848 00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,474 I'm naughty, baby. 849 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:31,390 Oh, God! 850 00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,156 Now... 851 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:40,556 come to me. 852 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:51,671 Here we go. 853 00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:52,630 He's in. 854 00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,472 This got a lot better. 855 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:56,428 Be gentle. 856 00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:58,116 Okay. 857 00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:17,995 - He got off. - Houston, we have a problem. 858 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,273 What did he do? 859 00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:24,835 He blew it. 860 00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:27,239 I guess I'll go now. 861 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,517 No, I'm not done, Nadia. 862 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:32,629 I have reserves. 863 00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:34,918 Nadia, please, I'm begging you. 864 00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,108 Well, I do like your dirty magazines. 865 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:39,469 You do? Okay, well,... 866 00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:42,439 did you see this one? 867 00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,033 This one is more... 868 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:47,717 exotic, risque. 869 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,831 - Here's the porn. - He's desperate. 870 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:51,792 Wait till she leaves. 871 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,956 Very arousing women. 872 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,869 They arouse me. But... 873 00:49:58,200 --> 00:49:59,997 they're not as arousing as you. 874 00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:10,875 - All right! - Yeah! 875 00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,159 He's re-engaging! 876 00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:18,359 So, "shaved"... 877 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:19,834 is the expression? 878 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:25,435 Holy shit! 879 00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:26,834 Holy shit! 880 00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,559 Holy shit! 881 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:29,949 Holy shit! 882 00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:31,189 Touch me, Jim. 883 00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:34,711 Here. 884 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:39,955 Again? 885 00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:41,149 Not again. 886 00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:42,793 Not again, man. 887 00:50:43,240 --> 00:50:44,468 Is that possible? 888 00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:46,234 What a loser. 889 00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:16,355 I needed someone to understand my ups and downs, 890 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:19,031 There you were, 891 00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,479 With sweet love and devotion,,, 892 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,920 deeply touching my emotion, 893 00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:28,951 I just want to stop,,, 894 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,437 and thank you, baby, 895 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:34,709 Hey, minuteman. 896 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:37,629 Shut up. You're supposed to be supportive. 897 00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,315 Think you still got a chance with Nadia? 898 00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:43,191 No. 899 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,990 Her sponsors saw her on the Net and didn't like it. 900 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,719 How do you know? 901 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,038 She's on a plane back home. 902 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,476 Maybe I'm just not good with girls, period. 903 00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,716 Like I was born without that part of my brain. 904 00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:04,230 When I talk to girls, I screw it up. 905 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:07,552 Come prom, excuses will do you no good. 906 00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,871 One time, at band camp,... 907 00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:16,152 we couldn't have pillow fights, but we did. 908 00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:17,679 It was so much fun. 909 00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:21,835 This one time we lost our music and were supposed to... 910 00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:24,110 play this song, but we didn't know it. 911 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,038 So we just made it up... 912 00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:27,958 and kept playing and playing. 913 00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:31,596 The conductor didn't know what we were doing. It was so funny. 914 00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:34,151 You pissed about something? 915 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,790 When I'm angry, I play Bach on my flute. 916 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,719 Very relaxing. I learned at band camp. 917 00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:41,670 Hold on. 918 00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,514 You have no idea why I'm angry? 919 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:47,432 We have a test tomorrow? 920 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:49,471 I get cranky when I have a test... 921 00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:50,829 to study for. 922 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,108 Yeah. That's pretty much it. 923 00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:57,954 I thought so. One time, at band camp... 924 00:52:58,160 --> 00:52:58,876 What's your name? 925 00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:00,599 - Michelle. - Okay. 926 00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:05,478 Will you be my prom date? 927 00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:08,760 You seriously want to go with me? 928 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:14,519 Yes, seriously. 929 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:18,716 Can we go to Stifler's after? That would be so cool. 930 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:21,111 Sure, whatever you want. 931 00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:25,069 Cool. We'll have such a good time. Like this one time... 932 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:28,033 at band camp, we all had a campfire... 933 00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:43,836 Hi. 934 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,674 - How'd you know I was here? - Stifler told me. 935 00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:51,079 You talked to Stifler? 936 00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:52,872 I needed to find you. 937 00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,957 We have to work on that song. 938 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:57,236 Okay. 939 00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:58,953 I'm glad you came. 940 00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,118 So, you work nights? 941 00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:05,231 - Dad's the manager. - Really? Cool. 942 00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,000 Tell him the subs are great. 943 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,790 - Going to Michigan next year? - Yeah. 944 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,514 My parents went me to go to Northwestern... 945 00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:19,400 but I don't want to do those extra essays. 946 00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,790 How do I know what my most "emotional significant" moment was? 947 00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,270 So when U of M acceptance came in... 948 00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:28,993 I said the hell with it. 949 00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:31,279 - Onions? - What? 950 00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:33,919 Do you want onions? 951 00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:35,753 No, thank you. 952 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,072 What are you majoring in? 953 00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:42,751 State has a good business school. 954 00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:44,996 And a lacrosse team. 955 00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,028 You got it figured out then? 956 00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,037 Business is okay, and lacrosse awesome, but... 957 00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:55,393 what would I be, a professional lacrosse player? 958 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:56,999 I have no idea. 959 00:54:57,520 --> 00:54:59,829 Thank God. I thought I was the only one. 960 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:01,909 You're not. 961 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:05,876 We'll be close next year. 962 00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,268 - In East Lansing and Ann Arbor? - Yeah. 963 00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,068 What? 964 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:23,955 I can't go to the prom with you. I'm holding out for someone else. 965 00:55:25,240 --> 00:55:26,673 You got to be kidding. 966 00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,796 It's a long shot but, Paul Finch might ask me. 967 00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:32,191 Finch. 968 00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:34,315 Shitbreak. 969 00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:36,798 Oh, gosh, I forgot. 970 00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:39,472 You look okay. 971 00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:41,553 The scars healed... 972 00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:42,829 really well. 973 00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,277 - Hey, Stifler. - Eat shit. 974 00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:49,314 What's going on? 975 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,513 He's embarrassed because Finch kicked his ass. 976 00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:54,114 Who told you that? 977 00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:57,638 "No comment"? Do you two hook up? 978 00:55:57,840 --> 00:55:59,273 What? No. 979 00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:01,357 How did all this get started? 980 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,639 I can tell you now. 981 00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:09,077 His reputation isn't going anywhere. Cheese, please. 982 00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:11,832 Finch comes to me and says: 983 00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,554 "I need your help." Blah, blah, blah. 984 00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:17,115 So I say: "Pay me $200 and... 985 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:20,869 I'll tell girls you're dynamite in bed." So he did... 986 00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:22,275 and I did. 987 00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:23,436 That actually works? 988 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,831 Of course. And I embellished a little bit. 989 00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:29,429 Hear he had an affair with an older woman? 990 00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:31,353 I didn't hear that one. 991 00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:33,278 That one was my favorite. 992 00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,594 That cheerleader wants me, baby. 993 00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:39,393 She wants my phone number. 994 00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:43,679 How sweet it is to be loved by you, 995 00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:46,591 Oh, my God, you're gay! 996 00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:48,751 Come on, sing it with me. 997 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,833 You've been singing that shit all week. 998 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:53,917 Try that at M.S.U. Saturday... 999 00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:55,439 I'll kick your ass. 1000 00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:57,471 Our last game is Saturday. 1001 00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,353 No shit. 1002 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:06,310 I have an important lacrosse game, our last game. 1003 00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,830 Central almost beat us last time. I want to kick their ass. 1004 00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:12,918 But the game's at State... 1005 00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,156 so afterwards I can stop by. 1006 00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,191 You can't sing in the competition. 1007 00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,754 - I'm sorry, I blew it. - That's okay. 1008 00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,829 You do what makes you happy. 1009 00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:26,916 Okay. 1010 00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:29,593 Thanks for understanding. 1011 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,950 I guess I'll see you later. 1012 00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:53,954 You seen Shitbreak? 1013 00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:56,595 What did you do to him? 1014 00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:58,838 Me? Nothing. 1015 00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:01,510 He kicked my ass. 1016 00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:03,070 But... 1017 00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:04,719 I'll tell you one thing. 1018 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:06,998 He'll have no problem shitting. 1019 00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,998 I put a little something in his mochaccino. 1020 00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:14,710 Oh, God! 1021 00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:24,790 Jeez! 1022 00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,559 Right this way, sir. 1023 00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:35,310 Oh, God! 1024 00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:40,635 Come on. 1025 00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:08,829 It'll be fun. 1026 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,359 There'll be a crappy band and stupid decorations. 1027 00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:15,711 You say that because you don't have a date. 1028 00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:17,876 No, I don't want a date. 1029 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:20,319 Finch is going stag and... 1030 00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:22,309 so am I. 1031 00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:24,439 God, he's so... 1032 00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:25,750 refined. 1033 00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:28,831 Could that older woman thing be true? 1034 00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,918 It's true. It was Stifler's mom. 1035 00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,037 Joanie, was that you? 1036 00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:39,359 Can't hold it. 1037 01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:10,996 Yeah! 1038 01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:17,079 Kev, we've come a long way... 1039 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:20,192 - since Homecoming. - Yeah, we have. 1040 01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:23,718 Maybe it's time we start to express ourselves... 1041 01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:25,035 in new ways. 1042 01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:27,271 Yeah. 1043 01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:28,549 You want to do it? 1044 01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:29,431 Yeah. 1045 01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:31,309 I love you. 1046 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:33,955 It's your turn. 1047 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:38,438 That's not what I was thinking. 1048 01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:40,270 Sex. 1049 01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:42,518 It's always about sex. 1050 01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:44,751 It's not always about sex. 1051 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,514 I just thought it was about sex this time. 1052 01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:53,189 Look, Vicky,... 1053 01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:55,916 love is a term that gets thrown around. 1054 01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,152 People don't mean it. 1055 01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,239 I want it to be more than words. 1056 01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:02,874 I want it to be... 1057 01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:03,956 Perfect. 1058 01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:07,236 Exactly. 1059 01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,709 - Ready, Albert? - No problemo. 1060 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,952 I close my eyes at night, 1061 01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,352 Come on, Heather, work with me. 1062 01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:25,639 Goal number 8, Ostreicher, 1063 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:28,715 That-a-boy, Ozzy! 1064 01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:32,798 Yeah, baby! 1065 01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:34,194 Let's go, fellas! 1066 01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:45,437 Focus on the music. Let the music be my guide. 1067 01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:47,073 That would be a start. 1068 01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:57,435 Goal number four,,,, 1069 01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:58,755 Steve Stifler, 1070 01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:03,959 Huddle up, guys. Huddle up. 1071 01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:13,195 Huddle up. 1072 01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,028 Come on, okay. 1073 01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:16,835 Okay, okay. 1074 01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:19,471 - Good hustle, guys. - Good hustle. 1075 01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:21,636 But you can still lose. 1076 01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:24,395 You saw what happened to Oz out there. 1077 01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:26,073 I don't want to see... 1078 01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:29,158 any of you thinking you're going to score. 1079 01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:31,119 You don't score... 1080 01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:33,835 - until you score. - Till you score. 1081 01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:34,756 That's right! 1082 01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:37,395 It all boils down to today. 1083 01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:41,077 For you seniors, this marks the culmination... 1084 01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,953 - of the past 4 years! - Culmination. 1085 01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:47,600 I want you to think about what this means to you. 1086 01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,792 Want to look back at your days at East... 1087 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,753 and know that you used the time you had? 1088 01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:56,031 Hell, yeah! 1089 01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:57,790 You do! 1090 01:02:59,920 --> 01:03:01,399 Good attitude, Ostreicher. 1091 01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:03,035 Good luck, fellas. 1092 01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,429 I didn't tell you to leave the game. 1093 01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:08,355 Sorry, Coach. 1094 01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:11,028 You got someplace more important to be? 1095 01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:12,071 Yeah. 1096 01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:19,909 Ostreicher! 1097 01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:48,758 - Oz? - Fuckface? 1098 01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:51,353 - Oh, great. - What about the game? 1099 01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:52,549 I'm not playing. 1100 01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:54,393 You're missing it for us? 1101 01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,149 No, I'm missing it for you. 1102 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:04,031 - I don't do the duet then? - Albert, you suck. 1103 01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:10,913 He's not coming back. 1104 01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,230 Close my eyes at night,,, 1105 01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:18,276 wondering were I'd be without you in my life, 1106 01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:21,753 Everything I did was just a bore, 1107 01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:26,155 Everywhere I went seems I've been there before, 1108 01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:30,439 Butyou brighten up for me all my days,,, 1109 01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:32,471 with a love so sweet,,, 1110 01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:34,352 in so many ways, 1111 01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:35,959 I just want to stop,,, 1112 01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:37,792 and thank you, baby, 1113 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:39,877 I just want to stop, 1114 01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:42,358 Thank you, baby, 1115 01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:48,112 How sweet it is to be loved by you, 1116 01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:52,196 Yeah, Oz! 1117 01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:53,509 You fucking rule! 1118 01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:54,835 Fucking rule! 1119 01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:00,751 Maybe the words aren't important. 1120 01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:02,951 I know he cares about me. 1121 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:04,991 Even if he can't say it, he does. 1122 01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:08,636 He always talks about sex, but he's a guy, right? 1123 01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:11,190 - If he got a dick, he's a guy. - Right. 1124 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:13,518 Is this translation right? 1125 01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:16,109 "Go home, bird teacher, I've had enough"? 1126 01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:18,316 Don't know. I got if from Kevin. 1127 01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:20,191 So,... 1128 01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:21,350 did it hurt? 1129 01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:22,152 What? 1130 01:05:22,760 --> 01:05:24,034 You know, sex. 1131 01:05:24,560 --> 01:05:25,356 Does it hurt? 1132 01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:28,674 Yeah, the first time you do it, it... 1133 01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:30,912 hurts. But then you... 1134 01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:32,470 do it again... 1135 01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,671 and again. It starts to... 1136 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,871 feel good. Really good. 1137 01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:39,720 Okay. So, say I don't do it. 1138 01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:42,433 Then I go to college. 1139 01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:46,394 I could end up doing it with a guy who's a jerk. 1140 01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:47,755 True. 1141 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:50,236 I wish I'd had done it with Kevin. 1142 01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:52,836 So, go do it with Kevin. 1143 01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:54,436 You think? 1144 01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:55,914 Yeah, you're ready. 1145 01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:57,553 You're a woman. 1146 01:05:57,800 --> 01:05:59,552 You're ready for sex. 1147 01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:00,954 - You're right. - I know. 1148 01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:03,230 - I'm going to go have sex. - Now. 1149 01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:05,874 - And it'll be perfect. - Perfect sex. 1150 01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:06,956 Thanks, Jessica. 1151 01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:08,589 Please. 1152 01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:18,038 I want to have sex. 1153 01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:19,390 Now? 1154 01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:25,310 Prom. 1155 01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:08,630 You're excited about the big night. 1156 01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:09,829 Thrilled. 1157 01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:12,393 Who's the lucky girl? 1158 01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:20,233 She must be very special. 1159 01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:22,832 She's special, all right. 1160 01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:25,793 She must be, if you picked her out. 1161 01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:32,911 I'm just going to say one thing before you leave. 1162 01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:35,191 I want you to be... 1163 01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,516 very, very careful... 1164 01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:40,153 when you're putting on... 1165 01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:42,548 the corsage. 1166 01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:48,636 Okay, Dad. 1167 01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:50,478 - Promise me. - I promise. 1168 01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:01,033 At band camp we have dances like this... 1169 01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:02,798 only they're way funner. 1170 01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:18,599 Status check. 1171 01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:22,031 Where do you stand? Finch, we know where you are. 1172 01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:24,800 But you can't use that excuse. 1173 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,434 My date is a flute-toting band dork. 1174 01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:29,914 Does that answer your question? 1175 01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:33,515 Is this vocal jazz shit going to pay off, or what? 1176 01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:35,119 Kevin, what's with the attitude? 1177 01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:37,878 Attitude? Me? 1178 01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:41,640 You guys should be more enthusiastic. 1179 01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:43,998 This is the night we've been waiting for. 1180 01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:46,156 You can't back out. 1181 01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:48,794 You don't need us to get laid. Are you afraid? 1182 01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:50,351 No. 1183 01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:53,037 But we made a pact. 1184 01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:54,879 You can't break it. 1185 01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:56,433 You'll just have to... 1186 01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:57,914 Have to what? 1187 01:09:58,440 --> 01:10:00,158 I don't have to do shit! 1188 01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:03,750 I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit pressure. 1189 01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:06,394 I never had sex and already I can't stand it. 1190 01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:07,794 I hate sex! 1191 01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:10,993 I won't bust my balls over something... 1192 01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:13,395 that, frankly, isn't that important. 1193 01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:15,554 I'm going back to that geek. 1194 01:10:15,760 --> 01:10:18,558 She talks about something besides sex. 1195 01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:20,510 Goddamn. 1196 01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:23,511 Yeah. 1197 01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:28,072 At least I learned how to shit at school. 1198 01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:31,469 Want to dance? 1199 01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:32,790 Yeah. 1200 01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:39,553 You have no date? 1201 01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:43,230 I like to keep my options open. I have something for you. 1202 01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:47,552 A consolation prize. 1203 01:10:50,480 --> 01:10:52,357 Jessica, this is great. 1204 01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:55,230 I felt bad taking your money. 1205 01:10:55,640 --> 01:10:57,596 - You spend $200 on this? - No. 1206 01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:01,156 $50 on the flask, and $150 on the earrings. 1207 01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:03,590 These are... 1208 01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:06,638 Let me clarify you have no chance of scoring with me. 1209 01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:08,719 Of course not! 1210 01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:11,315 You and Sherman are pretty close, huh? 1211 01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:13,351 You met at the party? 1212 01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:15,596 We were up all night. 1213 01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:18,553 We had one of those deep conversations... 1214 01:11:18,760 --> 01:11:20,876 where you really get to know someone. 1215 01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:24,272 Deep conversation? 1216 01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:26,233 Is that what you call it? 1217 01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:28,473 What else would I call it? 1218 01:11:35,440 --> 01:11:38,557 Thank you, Great Falls. We're going to take a break. 1219 01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,079 You are beautiful. 1220 01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:50,115 Excuse me. 1221 01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:54,035 Sorry to interrupt. 1222 01:11:54,280 --> 01:11:55,998 I thought you should know this. 1223 01:11:56,800 --> 01:11:58,552 Chuck Sherman is a liar. 1224 01:11:59,320 --> 01:12:00,833 I never had sex with him. 1225 01:12:01,120 --> 01:12:02,997 He's never had sex with anyone. 1226 01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:05,118 I know because he told me. 1227 01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:08,233 Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. 1228 01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:12,151 And when he gets nervous, he wets his pants. 1229 01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:13,954 Thanks for your time. 1230 01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:29,270 Guess what? 1231 01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:31,435 I'm not interested. 1232 01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:33,796 Come on. The bus to Stifler's... 1233 01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,149 will be here soon. 1234 01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:37,553 - I'm not going. - What? 1235 01:12:38,440 --> 01:12:39,429 Why not? 1236 01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:41,996 Look,... 1237 01:12:42,520 --> 01:12:45,114 things didn't turn out how I wanted them to. 1238 01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:47,951 I don't even know what I'm doing. 1239 01:12:48,160 --> 01:12:49,479 I'm acting like I... 1240 01:12:49,680 --> 01:12:50,999 have everything together. 1241 01:12:51,480 --> 01:12:54,552 I know Vicky's going to ask me if I love her and... 1242 01:12:55,360 --> 01:12:56,873 I don't know what to say. 1243 01:12:57,440 --> 01:12:58,839 I'm on the brink. 1244 01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:00,314 I'm about to do it. 1245 01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:02,352 I should be psyched. 1246 01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:06,349 Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just scared. 1247 01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:10,312 Come on, Kev. This is the night. 1248 01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,518 We're going to a post-prom party on the lake. 1249 01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:15,676 We've waited 4 years for this. 1250 01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:18,709 Why else have we been friends with Stifler? 1251 01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:21,352 We were friends with Stifler? 1252 01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:23,315 Look,... 1253 01:13:25,280 --> 01:13:27,316 Sherman didn't even get laid. 1254 01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:28,835 He didn't? 1255 01:13:29,040 --> 01:13:30,837 He pissed himself. 1256 01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:32,710 What? 1257 01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:35,679 We'll tell you on the bus. 1258 01:13:36,200 --> 01:13:38,156 I'm going to get my bag. 1259 01:13:39,440 --> 01:13:41,192 My date, too, perhaps. 1260 01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:45,435 Stifler's mom got it in the divorce. 1261 01:13:45,640 --> 01:13:47,358 It reminds me of this one time... 1262 01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:51,435 One question. Why don't you have any stories? 1263 01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:54,433 I have lots, and you don't have any. 1264 01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:57,919 I have stories, they're just more... 1265 01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:00,959 risque than tales of band camp. 1266 01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:04,789 Are they gross? Like guy stuff? Tell me. 1267 01:14:05,480 --> 01:14:07,630 Okay, here's a story. 1268 01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:09,717 Stifler finds this beer, right? 1269 01:14:13,200 --> 01:14:15,236 This is the nicest room here. 1270 01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:16,953 Kevin, it's perfect. 1271 01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:30,871 You're going to fuck, aren't you? 1272 01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:33,117 Fuckers! Fuckers! 1273 01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:39,033 - Out. - Come on. 1274 01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:40,636 Get out. 1275 01:14:40,840 --> 01:14:41,670 Aw, man! 1276 01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:01,720 - I have to tell you something. - What? 1277 01:15:03,560 --> 01:15:06,791 It's going to sound bad, but I want you to know. 1278 01:15:08,520 --> 01:15:09,475 See,... 1279 01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:13,310 I'm a virgin. 1280 01:15:15,280 --> 01:15:18,192 Well, me, Kevin, Jim and Frank... 1281 01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:22,395 made this pact that we would lose our virginity... 1282 01:15:23,400 --> 01:15:25,356 before high school was over. 1283 01:15:25,560 --> 01:15:28,313 And tonight is supposed to be the night. 1284 01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:32,555 This isn't the best way to proposition me. 1285 01:15:32,760 --> 01:15:33,829 That's not what I mean. 1286 01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:36,668 What I mean is... 1287 01:15:38,440 --> 01:15:40,874 know what made me leave that game? 1288 01:15:41,440 --> 01:15:43,237 Coach was giving this... 1289 01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:44,436 speech about... 1290 01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:47,518 not slacking off when you have the opportunity to score. 1291 01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:49,513 This isn't any better. 1292 01:15:49,720 --> 01:15:51,551 No. See, Heather,... 1293 01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:53,798 what I realizes is that... 1294 01:15:54,080 --> 01:15:55,433 with you... 1295 01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:58,550 isn't like running toward the goal,... 1296 01:15:58,760 --> 01:16:00,796 looking for the best way to score. 1297 01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:03,957 This may sound corny, but... 1298 01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:07,351 I feel like I've already won. 1299 01:16:10,520 --> 01:16:12,829 I care about you a lot. 1300 01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:16,714 Oz, I know. 1301 01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:19,988 You called me Oz. 1302 01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:21,190 Well, yeah. 1303 01:16:22,240 --> 01:16:23,832 That's what your friends call you. 1304 01:16:24,440 --> 01:16:26,715 I'm one of your friends now. 1305 01:16:27,560 --> 01:16:28,276 And... 1306 01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:30,354 your girlfriend? 1307 01:16:46,920 --> 01:16:48,990 PLEASE KEEP OUT THANK YOU 1308 01:17:03,800 --> 01:17:04,835 Are you lost? 1309 01:17:09,240 --> 01:17:11,071 Stifler's mom. 1310 01:17:12,080 --> 01:17:13,991 No, not lost. Just... 1311 01:17:15,200 --> 01:17:16,553 taking the tour. 1312 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,036 Thank you for letting us have this wonderful... 1313 01:17:22,240 --> 01:17:24,754 - party. - I had no alternative. 1314 01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:32,318 Are you enjoying yourself? 1315 01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:35,750 I'm three sheets to the wind, ma'am. 1316 01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:40,069 I'm so happy. It does take the edge off, doesn't it? 1317 01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:43,434 Where's your little date? 1318 01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:45,268 No date. There... 1319 01:17:45,760 --> 01:17:47,591 was a bathroom incident. 1320 01:17:48,480 --> 01:17:49,515 Pardon me? 1321 01:17:49,960 --> 01:17:50,995 Never mind. 1322 01:17:55,640 --> 01:17:57,358 Have anything to drink? 1323 01:17:58,120 --> 01:17:59,917 The kegs are upstairs. 1324 01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:03,350 That's what the cretins drink. 1325 01:18:03,680 --> 01:18:05,671 I mean alcohol, liquor. 1326 01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:07,075 The good stuff. 1327 01:18:07,800 --> 01:18:08,710 All right. 1328 01:18:10,520 --> 01:18:11,794 I have some Scotch. 1329 01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:13,195 Single malt? 1330 01:18:13,440 --> 01:18:15,112 Aged 18 years. 1331 01:18:16,520 --> 01:18:17,953 The way I like it. 1332 01:18:22,240 --> 01:18:24,151 Go get a glass from the bar. 1333 01:18:26,480 --> 01:18:27,708 I think I will. 1334 01:18:29,240 --> 01:18:30,229 Allow me. 1335 01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:34,192 It's a bitchin' party. 1336 01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:36,630 The Stifman always comes through. 1337 01:18:41,040 --> 01:18:43,554 Then he puked his brains out. 1338 01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:46,354 - What a nasty story. - I told you. 1339 01:18:46,560 --> 01:18:50,189 Want to hear a nasty story of mine? It's sort of sexual. 1340 01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:54,431 Yeah, let's hear it. 1341 01:18:55,040 --> 01:18:57,679 Well, this one time at band camp... 1342 01:18:58,080 --> 01:18:59,877 we played this game. 1343 01:19:00,080 --> 01:19:03,152 I don't know if you know it. It's called "Spin the Bottle". 1344 01:19:03,440 --> 01:19:06,876 I had to kiss this guy Marc Wander on the lips. 1345 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:08,832 He plays trombone. 1346 01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:11,197 How do you want to be? 1347 01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:13,996 How do you want to do it? 1348 01:19:15,440 --> 01:19:16,316 I don't know. 1349 01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:17,911 How do you? 1350 01:19:18,280 --> 01:19:20,111 Like... normal style. 1351 01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:22,593 The missionary position. 1352 01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:26,031 Okay. 1353 01:19:34,840 --> 01:19:36,353 I want to hear you say it. 1354 01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:38,190 Okay. 1355 01:19:44,560 --> 01:19:45,675 I love you. 1356 01:19:47,440 --> 01:19:48,395 I love you. 1357 01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:16,196 Here. 1358 01:20:24,080 --> 01:20:25,115 Are you okay? 1359 01:20:26,520 --> 01:20:27,270 Yeah. 1360 01:20:28,120 --> 01:20:29,269 Go slow. 1361 01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:53,155 So... 1362 01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:56,790 the end is you had to kiss the guy for 20 seconds? 1363 01:20:57,080 --> 01:20:59,389 Yes! And he was such a dork. 1364 01:20:59,600 --> 01:21:03,229 Everyone laughed at me, but it was really so funny. 1365 01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:04,396 I get it. 1366 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:08,435 And once, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy. 1367 01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:12,716 What? 1368 01:21:13,040 --> 01:21:15,395 You think I don't know how to get off? 1369 01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:18,712 That's what half of band camp is. Sex ed. 1370 01:21:19,080 --> 01:21:22,470 Will we screw soon? I'm getting kind of antsy. 1371 01:21:30,600 --> 01:21:31,476 This'll do. 1372 01:21:38,360 --> 01:21:40,555 I have 2 rubbers. Wear both. 1373 01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:42,557 They'll desensitize you. 1374 01:21:42,800 --> 01:21:45,109 I don't want you coming early. 1375 01:21:47,240 --> 01:21:49,515 What makes you think I do that? 1376 01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:53,429 I saw you on the Net. Why do you think I accepted? 1377 01:21:53,640 --> 01:21:54,993 You're a sure thing. 1378 01:21:58,280 --> 01:21:59,474 Yes, I am. 1379 01:22:01,120 --> 01:22:01,870 So I said: 1380 01:22:02,080 --> 01:22:05,390 "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca." 1381 01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:13,110 So... 1382 01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:17,998 would you object if I said you're quite striking? 1383 01:22:18,920 --> 01:22:20,148 Mr. Finch,... 1384 01:22:21,040 --> 01:22:22,598 are you trying to seduce me? 1385 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:24,274 Yes, ma'am, I am. 1386 01:22:39,240 --> 01:22:40,275 You're dead. 1387 01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:19,954 - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Me, either. 1388 01:23:22,240 --> 01:23:23,878 Oh, Stifler's mom! 1389 01:23:32,680 --> 01:23:33,396 Let's go. 1390 01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:34,396 What's my name? 1391 01:23:34,760 --> 01:23:35,829 Say my name, bitch! 1392 01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:40,430 Oh, God. 1393 01:24:07,920 --> 01:24:09,433 That was a great night, huh? 1394 01:24:13,160 --> 01:24:13,831 Yeah. 1395 01:24:16,000 --> 01:24:18,798 I can't believe we had our senior prom. 1396 01:24:19,040 --> 01:24:19,870 I know. 1397 01:24:21,080 --> 01:24:22,593 It went by so fast. 1398 01:24:23,120 --> 01:24:24,109 Yeah, it did. 1399 01:24:31,720 --> 01:24:33,950 Next year you going to Ann Arbor... 1400 01:24:34,200 --> 01:24:35,792 and me to Ithaca. 1401 01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:39,230 It's not going to work. 1402 01:24:41,720 --> 01:24:43,199 Don't say that. 1403 01:24:43,960 --> 01:24:45,279 We can make it work. 1404 01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:47,069 It'll be perfect. 1405 01:24:47,280 --> 01:24:48,349 No, Kevin. 1406 01:24:50,120 --> 01:24:51,030 - But... - See,... 1407 01:24:51,240 --> 01:24:53,276 that's what I've been realizing. 1408 01:24:53,800 --> 01:24:55,199 Nothing is perfect. 1409 01:24:55,480 --> 01:24:57,789 You can't plan everything. 1410 01:24:59,640 --> 01:25:00,675 Well, I guess... 1411 01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:03,278 you'll be pretty far away. 1412 01:25:04,360 --> 01:25:07,033 We'll be on our own, meeting new people. 1413 01:25:11,520 --> 01:25:12,635 Last night, though... 1414 01:25:16,880 --> 01:25:18,199 I wasn't lying. 1415 01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:21,955 I know. 1416 01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:38,876 She's gone. 1417 01:25:41,440 --> 01:25:42,793 My God, she used me. 1418 01:25:43,400 --> 01:25:44,549 I was used. 1419 01:25:47,160 --> 01:25:48,479 I was used. 1420 01:25:49,520 --> 01:25:50,430 Cool. 1421 01:25:52,640 --> 01:25:55,074 Why is this door locked? Mom, where...? 1422 01:25:57,840 --> 01:25:58,716 Mom? 1423 01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:01,989 - Shitbreak? - Hey, Stifler. 1424 01:26:07,360 --> 01:26:08,713 I have to say... 1425 01:26:08,920 --> 01:26:09,909 women... 1426 01:26:10,680 --> 01:26:13,274 like a fine wine, only improve with age. 1427 01:26:14,360 --> 01:26:17,079 Of course, I have no basis for comparison, but... 1428 01:26:18,480 --> 01:26:19,515 it was good. 1429 01:26:19,880 --> 01:26:21,233 You almost made it? 1430 01:26:22,120 --> 01:26:24,111 We had a great night together. 1431 01:26:24,320 --> 01:26:25,912 Hang in there, buddy. 1432 01:26:26,480 --> 01:26:27,230 You'll get there. 1433 01:26:27,760 --> 01:26:30,593 You know what? I think we're falling in love. 1434 01:26:34,480 --> 01:26:36,755 This is great. That's awesome. 1435 01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:40,116 Know what the coolest thing is? 1436 01:26:40,920 --> 01:26:42,831 This. Right now. 1437 01:26:43,360 --> 01:26:46,432 After this, everything will be different. 1438 01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:47,709 After getting laid? 1439 01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:51,152 After high school. 1440 01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:52,509 Here's to the next step. 1441 01:26:52,880 --> 01:26:54,598 To the next step. 1442 01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:44,795 Sweetheart?