1 00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:45,066 That's a big fella! Whoa! 2 00:03:12,204 --> 00:03:14,502 - Looks great. - Thank you. 3 00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:16,700 Happy vacation, honey. 4 00:03:17,909 --> 00:03:20,173 Manchurian tung oil! Where did you get this? 5 00:03:20,245 --> 00:03:22,543 Helen got it for me in Oslo. 6 00:03:22,614 --> 00:03:27,415 There's enough here to do the whole table and the bureau. 7 00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,754 I wonder what this could be. 8 00:03:30,822 --> 00:03:33,222 Oh, honey, you got it. Thank you. 9 00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:35,521 Enough to do the entire guest room. 10 00:03:35,594 --> 00:03:37,994 I'm so glad we're spending our vacation at home. 11 00:03:38,063 --> 00:03:40,725 - I'm gonna get started now. - Where are you going? 12 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:48,030 - I'll get it. - Be my guest. 13 00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:54,074 - Maybe you should get it. - I'll go. 14 00:04:00,452 --> 00:04:02,283 Oh, no! 15 00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:09,059 Jane. 16 00:04:10,829 --> 00:04:13,059 It's your turn, honey. 17 00:04:25,577 --> 00:04:27,738 - Good luck, honey. - Thanks. 18 00:04:29,948 --> 00:04:33,008 Hi, Barbara. I'm glad I caught you. Heard you were on vacation. 19 00:04:33,084 --> 00:04:34,608 That's right. Complete vacation. 20 00:04:34,686 --> 00:04:38,486 Today I'm $260,000! 21 00:04:38,557 --> 00:04:41,549 - It's 6:45 in the morning. - This offer is real. 22 00:04:41,626 --> 00:04:45,062 From a man in New York City who only saw a photograph. 23 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:47,860 Jane, don't send people photos of our house. 24 00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:52,233 He wants to bring the wife and family here for some peace and quiet. 25 00:04:52,304 --> 00:04:54,101 That's what we're looking for. 26 00:04:54,172 --> 00:04:58,768 This house is too big for you. It ought to be for a couple with kids. 27 00:05:00,378 --> 00:05:04,075 I didn't mean anything. But this house is too big. 28 00:05:04,149 --> 00:05:08,643 - I'll see you in a few weeks. Okay? - Think about it. 29 00:05:20,732 --> 00:05:24,065 I was telling Barbara about this offer on the house and-- 30 00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:34,444 Come with me to the store. 31 00:05:34,512 --> 00:05:38,175 - What for? - I need a new brush for the tung oil. 32 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:42,448 - And I want to get a part for the model. - Just run in, okay? 33 00:06:00,672 --> 00:06:04,073 Two weeks at home. The perfect vacation. 34 00:06:04,142 --> 00:06:08,135 Jane says we should sell the house to someone with a family. 35 00:06:08,213 --> 00:06:11,376 I don't think it's any of Jane's business. 36 00:06:11,449 --> 00:06:14,885 Besides, we could try again on this vacation. 37 00:06:14,953 --> 00:06:17,012 Really? What are you saying? 38 00:06:34,239 --> 00:06:36,935 - How are you doing, Ernie? - Hi, how are ya? 39 00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:47,350 Morning, Adam. 40 00:06:47,419 --> 00:06:50,047 - Need a haircut before your vacation? - No, thanks, Bill. 41 00:06:50,121 --> 00:06:51,782 - How's the model coming? - Great. 42 00:06:51,856 --> 00:06:57,385 You know, Bozman built that foundation in 1835. His grandson came-- 43 00:07:06,438 --> 00:07:09,874 He's got hair down to his goddamn shoulders. 44 00:07:09,941 --> 00:07:13,104 He says to me, "Just trim it a little." 45 00:07:13,178 --> 00:07:16,944 - I took scissors to him so fast-- - See you later. 46 00:07:30,862 --> 00:07:34,958 - This will be great. - Wouldn't you rather go to Jamaica? 47 00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:37,558 - No way. There's no place like home. - Look out for that-- 48 00:08:23,348 --> 00:08:25,782 Perfect start to our vacation. 49 00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:28,614 You'll feel better when you're dry. 50 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:34,153 That fire wasn't burning when we left. 51 00:08:34,225 --> 00:08:37,922 - How's your arm? - I don't know. It feels frozen. 52 00:08:54,946 --> 00:08:57,744 I'll make some coffee and you get wood for the fire. 53 00:08:57,816 --> 00:09:00,614 Maybe we should take things extra slow. 54 00:09:00,685 --> 00:09:04,052 Do you remember how we got back up here? 55 00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:09,349 I'm going back to the bridge and retrace our steps. 56 00:09:23,608 --> 00:09:25,405 - You saved my-- - Two hours! 57 00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:28,878 - You won't believe-- What? - That's how long you were gone. 58 00:09:30,148 --> 00:09:32,946 - What is going on? - I have to show you something. 59 00:09:34,519 --> 00:09:36,146 Look. 60 00:09:43,661 --> 00:09:45,595 There's that. 61 00:09:45,663 --> 00:09:48,257 And there's that. 62 00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:59,103 - "Handbook for the Recently Diseased." - Deceased. 63 00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:02,335 Deceased. 64 00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:06,144 I don't know where it came from. Look at the publisher. 65 00:10:10,054 --> 00:10:13,421 "Handbook for the Recently Deceased Press." 66 00:10:13,491 --> 00:10:17,723 You know what? I don't think we survived the crash. 67 00:10:21,366 --> 00:10:22,799 I hate this. 68 00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:25,893 Can you give me the basics? 69 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,996 This book isn't arranged that way. What do you want to know? 70 00:10:29,073 --> 00:10:32,509 Why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? 71 00:10:32,577 --> 00:10:35,137 Are we halfway to heaven or to hell? 72 00:10:35,213 --> 00:10:37,204 How long will this last? 73 00:10:37,282 --> 00:10:39,580 I don't see anything about heaven or hell. 74 00:10:39,651 --> 00:10:42,620 The book reads like stereo instructions. Listen. 75 00:10:42,687 --> 00:10:44,678 "Geographical and Temporal Perimeters. 76 00:10:44,756 --> 00:10:48,385 "Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation." 77 00:10:49,961 --> 00:10:52,156 This is going to take some time. 78 00:11:15,486 --> 00:11:18,580 Damn sandworms. Thirteen percent, huh? 79 00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:22,148 I better find a job. Let's see. Business section. 80 00:11:28,066 --> 00:11:30,762 What do we got here? The Maitlands. 81 00:11:32,704 --> 00:11:36,606 Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too. 82 00:11:42,814 --> 00:11:45,647 I wish I had a better view of the cemetery from here. 83 00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:48,709 I can't tell which is the best placement for us. 84 00:11:53,925 --> 00:11:55,756 Cabin fever? 85 00:11:55,827 --> 00:11:57,795 I can't clean properly. 86 00:11:57,862 --> 00:12:00,660 The vacuum's in the garage and we can't leave the house. 87 00:12:00,732 --> 00:12:05,396 Where are the other dead people? Why is it just you and me? 88 00:12:07,238 --> 00:12:09,729 Maybe this is heaven. 89 00:12:09,807 --> 00:12:11,900 In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything. 90 00:12:21,219 --> 00:12:22,481 It's Jane. 91 00:12:26,324 --> 00:12:28,087 - What's she doing here? - I don't know. 92 00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:31,185 Jane, up here. Jane! 93 00:12:36,401 --> 00:12:39,529 She can't see you, right? 94 00:12:41,105 --> 00:12:44,438 In the book, rule number 2: The living usually won't see the dead. 95 00:12:46,711 --> 00:12:49,475 - Won't or can't? - It just says "won't." 96 00:12:49,547 --> 00:12:53,483 God, this book is so stupid! I can't understand anything in it. 97 00:12:54,786 --> 00:12:56,947 Barb, honey... 98 00:12:57,021 --> 00:12:58,818 we're dead. 99 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:02,257 I don't think we have much to worry about anymore. 100 00:13:34,992 --> 00:13:39,622 This is great! Just what the doctor ordered. 101 00:13:44,202 --> 00:13:46,102 Sorry, ma'am. 102 00:13:47,805 --> 00:13:51,297 Delia Deetz, welcome home. 103 00:13:51,376 --> 00:13:53,105 Charles! 104 00:13:53,177 --> 00:13:58,240 It's okay, there's no damage. See? Good, sturdy country craftsmanship. 105 00:13:58,316 --> 00:14:02,412 Look at that kitchen. You'll finally be able to cook a decent meal. 106 00:14:05,289 --> 00:14:07,621 Come have a look. 107 00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:20,163 A little gasoline. Blowtorch. No problem. 108 00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:22,798 Excuse me. Here we go. 109 00:14:33,518 --> 00:14:35,850 We'll have to rip out the plumbing. 110 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,185 Other than that, it's perfect. Just perfect. 111 00:14:40,191 --> 00:14:43,422 - What do you think, honey? - Delia hates it. 112 00:14:46,397 --> 00:14:48,024 I could live here. 113 00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:50,192 Careful! That's my sculpture. 114 00:14:50,268 --> 00:14:53,294 I don't mean "my" as in "I bought it." I mean I made it. 115 00:14:55,506 --> 00:14:57,531 Put it on the table. 116 00:15:05,716 --> 00:15:09,652 Ten minutes. I'm already perfectly at ease. 117 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,153 It's perfect. 118 00:15:11,222 --> 00:15:13,213 Help! 119 00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,156 It's Otho. 120 00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:18,491 Otho, why don't you come in the front door? 121 00:15:18,563 --> 00:15:19,996 It's bad luck. 122 00:15:20,064 --> 00:15:23,261 You left the city for me. I am so happy. 123 00:15:23,334 --> 00:15:25,495 Of course you are. 124 00:15:27,772 --> 00:15:29,933 Let's get one thing straight. 125 00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:34,000 We're here to enjoy the country setting, not to trash the place! 126 00:15:34,078 --> 00:15:36,706 Charles, you're lucky the yuppies are buying condos... 127 00:15:36,781 --> 00:15:41,115 so you can afford what I'm going to have to do to this place. 128 00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:45,622 I'm here to relax and clip coupons, and, damn it, I mean to do it. 129 00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:48,318 Then go do it quietly, dear, and let Otho and me think. 130 00:15:48,392 --> 00:15:50,553 Is the rest of the house as bad as this? 131 00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:55,190 Is this a punishment? What are we going to do? 132 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,825 We're not completely helpless. 133 00:15:58,903 --> 00:16:02,771 I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation. 134 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,104 Ghosts! 135 00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:08,710 Let's get this show on the road. 136 00:16:11,983 --> 00:16:14,349 We're dealing with negative entertainment potential. 137 00:16:14,418 --> 00:16:17,285 There's absolutely no organic flow through. 138 00:16:17,355 --> 00:16:20,290 I noticed that, too. It's like a giant ant farm. 139 00:16:23,394 --> 00:16:26,727 - What? - I thought I saw something. 140 00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:39,809 You read my mind. 141 00:16:39,877 --> 00:16:42,812 - I did? - Few clients are able to read my mind. 142 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,781 They're not open to the experience. 143 00:16:53,591 --> 00:16:55,491 My God! 144 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,963 We just have to pray the other closets are bigger than this one. 145 00:17:00,031 --> 00:17:02,090 Look! 146 00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,794 Ozzie and Harriet. 147 00:17:06,504 --> 00:17:08,301 - What happened to these people? - They died. 148 00:17:08,372 --> 00:17:10,738 Look, an indoor outhouse. 149 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,309 - Viridian. - Viridian. Why do I know that name? 150 00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:21,476 Blue-green! 151 00:17:21,552 --> 00:17:23,850 Hydrated chromic oxide. 152 00:17:23,921 --> 00:17:27,413 Remember, I'm schooled in chemistry. I was a hair analyst. 153 00:17:27,491 --> 00:17:30,255 - What? - Briefly. 154 00:17:35,066 --> 00:17:38,001 Deliver me from L.L. Bean. 155 00:17:39,604 --> 00:17:41,572 I know what you two are up to. 156 00:17:41,639 --> 00:17:44,733 - You're not going to get away with it. - This is not working out. 157 00:17:44,809 --> 00:17:48,643 I will not stop living art just because you need to relax. 158 00:17:49,914 --> 00:17:52,348 I will live with you in this hellhole. 159 00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:57,649 But I must express myself. If I can't gut this house and make it my own... 160 00:17:57,722 --> 00:18:01,385 I will go insane and I will take you with me! 161 00:18:03,027 --> 00:18:06,656 Yeah. Well, maybe the house could use a little remodeling. 162 00:18:06,731 --> 00:18:10,690 But why don't you just leave this room alone, okay? 163 00:18:18,309 --> 00:18:19,742 I'll get her. 164 00:18:19,810 --> 00:18:21,437 So? 165 00:18:21,512 --> 00:18:26,211 Cover the wallpaper, knock down a few walls and this place might be livable. 166 00:18:26,283 --> 00:18:29,081 - What's on the third floor? - Attic space. 167 00:18:29,153 --> 00:18:31,553 I forgot to lock the attic door. 168 00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:41,355 - Did you feel something? - When? 169 00:18:50,574 --> 00:18:53,634 - You don't have a key? - Maybe Charles does. 170 00:18:53,711 --> 00:18:58,011 I have a feeling there's something very interesting behind this door. 171 00:18:58,082 --> 00:19:01,950 Yeah, ghosts of the people who died in this house, and they want us out! 172 00:19:02,019 --> 00:19:04,214 Let's do them a favor. 173 00:19:20,838 --> 00:19:23,238 My God, that was close! 174 00:19:24,709 --> 00:19:27,143 I cannot watch this. 175 00:19:27,211 --> 00:19:30,237 What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away? 176 00:19:30,314 --> 00:19:32,942 - Honey? - No, I'm not putting up with this! 177 00:19:43,027 --> 00:19:45,154 - You don't know what's out there. - I don't care. 178 00:19:54,939 --> 00:19:57,840 - Barbara! - Adam! 179 00:19:59,376 --> 00:20:02,868 Adam, help. I'm getting all yellow! 180 00:20:42,887 --> 00:20:45,856 We're trapped in this house with those people. 181 00:20:50,895 --> 00:20:53,887 I can't believe we're eating Cantonese. Is there no Szechuan up here? 182 00:20:54,832 --> 00:20:58,461 I plan to have a stroke from the MSG in this food. 183 00:20:58,536 --> 00:21:03,769 This is our first meal in this house, so let's try to make it a pleasant one. 184 00:21:04,708 --> 00:21:06,869 Don't bait your mother. 185 00:21:06,944 --> 00:21:09,879 When we get settled, we'll build you a darkroom in the basement. 186 00:21:10,948 --> 00:21:13,917 My whole life is a darkroom. 187 00:21:13,984 --> 00:21:17,545 One big dark room. 188 00:21:17,621 --> 00:21:22,456 You were miserable in New York City, and you'll be miserable in the sticks. 189 00:21:22,526 --> 00:21:24,426 At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved. 190 00:21:24,495 --> 00:21:29,091 I'm happy here. Those people in New York don't know what they're missing. 191 00:21:33,537 --> 00:21:36,301 We could become the summer art center of New York. 192 00:21:36,373 --> 00:21:39,240 I could start sculpting again. I'm only truly happy when I'm sculpting. 193 00:21:39,310 --> 00:21:43,474 That's a very good idea. That'll be very time-consuming. 194 00:21:43,547 --> 00:21:45,879 First the house. Otho and I have great plans. 195 00:21:45,950 --> 00:21:47,975 We should keep it the way it is. 196 00:21:48,052 --> 00:21:50,043 Good idea. 197 00:21:54,592 --> 00:21:57,993 The furniture truck is coming. We must decide what goes and what stays. 198 00:21:58,062 --> 00:22:00,553 Everything goes, along with what's in the attic. 199 00:22:18,682 --> 00:22:20,172 Careful. 200 00:22:20,251 --> 00:22:23,982 Tell me what you do and I'll tell you why my husband will fire you. 201 00:22:25,389 --> 00:22:28,449 - Isn't there an index? - No, nothing. 202 00:22:30,227 --> 00:22:31,956 What's this? 203 00:22:37,768 --> 00:22:40,566 Do you know where that's going? Did anyone tell you where-- 204 00:22:40,638 --> 00:22:43,539 Why are there only three sculptures? There were four sculptures. 205 00:22:43,607 --> 00:22:45,768 Where's the fourth sculpture? 206 00:22:45,843 --> 00:22:47,936 What are you doing? 207 00:22:53,017 --> 00:22:56,384 "Betelgeuse, the bio-exorcist. Troubled by the living? 208 00:22:56,453 --> 00:22:58,978 "Is death a problem and not the solution? Unhappy with eternity? 209 00:22:59,056 --> 00:23:02,514 "Having difficulty adjusting? Call Betelgeuse." 210 00:23:05,596 --> 00:23:07,826 There's no number or instructions? 211 00:23:07,898 --> 00:23:11,197 Nothing. The bio-exorcist. I don't get it. 212 00:23:15,439 --> 00:23:17,031 Straight back. 213 00:23:19,209 --> 00:23:23,043 Why don't you take a break for half an hour? 214 00:23:43,067 --> 00:23:46,525 - Put that down! - What the hell are you doing? 215 00:23:46,603 --> 00:23:49,094 - Listen to me! - Jesus! 216 00:23:50,174 --> 00:23:53,575 Why are you doing this to me? This is my art and it is dangerous. 217 00:23:53,644 --> 00:23:55,703 You think I want to die like this? 218 00:24:21,171 --> 00:24:23,662 That little girl saw us. 219 00:24:23,741 --> 00:24:26,539 - Nobody can see us. - But she did. 220 00:24:28,712 --> 00:24:31,476 - What happened to the previous owners? - They drowned. 221 00:24:31,548 --> 00:24:34,517 Yes, they were family. I was devastated. 222 00:24:34,585 --> 00:24:36,985 - Here, take that. - Is this the key to the attic? 223 00:24:37,054 --> 00:24:41,650 That skeleton key will open any door. Give that to your father. 224 00:24:41,725 --> 00:24:45,354 You might mention I single-handedly decorated that house. 225 00:24:45,429 --> 00:24:49,661 If he needs any advice in that arena have him come see me. 226 00:25:09,787 --> 00:25:11,448 Don't worry. I locked the door. 227 00:25:29,573 --> 00:25:33,873 Having trouble with the living? Tired of having your home violated? 228 00:25:33,944 --> 00:25:35,878 Want to get rid of them pesky living critters? 229 00:25:35,946 --> 00:25:39,939 Well, come on down and see me, the afterlife's leading bio-exorcist. 230 00:25:40,017 --> 00:25:43,953 Yes, sirree! I want to tell you, I'll do anything! 231 00:25:46,090 --> 00:25:50,322 I'll scare 'em real bad. I'll do anything to get your business. 232 00:25:50,394 --> 00:25:53,522 Hell! I'll possess myself if I gotta! 233 00:25:53,597 --> 00:25:57,055 Yo! I got demons runnin' all through me. 234 00:25:57,134 --> 00:25:59,125 Come on down and see it. 235 00:25:59,203 --> 00:26:02,400 If you act now, you get a free demon possession with every exorcism. 236 00:26:02,473 --> 00:26:04,464 You can't beat that, can you? 237 00:26:04,541 --> 00:26:09,945 Bring the little partners. We've got plenty of snakes for them to play with. 238 00:26:10,013 --> 00:26:14,074 Say it once, say it twice, third time's the charm. And remember-- 239 00:26:14,151 --> 00:26:17,587 I'll eat anything you want me to eat Swallow anything you want me to swallow 240 00:26:17,654 --> 00:26:20,555 But come on down I'll chew on a dog 241 00:26:48,819 --> 00:26:53,916 We need some help. I read something in this book about emergencies. 242 00:26:53,991 --> 00:26:58,485 Here it is. "In case of emergency, draw a door." 243 00:27:02,132 --> 00:27:05,465 Draw a door? I don't know why we keep looking in that stupid book. 244 00:27:08,805 --> 00:27:11,501 Maybe we should try that Beetle guy. 245 00:27:26,924 --> 00:27:29,984 You didn't actually think that would work, did you? 246 00:27:32,663 --> 00:27:34,597 Knock 3 times. 247 00:28:36,727 --> 00:28:38,388 Birdies! 248 00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:53,639 - Can't you see I'm relaxing? - I want to tell you what I saw. 249 00:28:53,710 --> 00:28:57,476 What is the point of my coming here if you people won't let me relax? 250 00:28:57,547 --> 00:28:59,515 Pumpkin, sweetheart... 251 00:29:00,584 --> 00:29:02,552 go help your mother. 252 00:29:02,619 --> 00:29:05,349 Maybe you can relax in a haunted house, but I can't. 253 00:29:11,061 --> 00:29:12,892 Hmm, nice building. 254 00:29:12,963 --> 00:29:16,524 Bad roof. Good parking. 255 00:29:46,897 --> 00:29:49,422 - Adam? - This way, honey. 256 00:30:01,244 --> 00:30:03,269 You don't have an appointment. 257 00:30:03,347 --> 00:30:05,577 - We didn't know how to make one. - Appointment for what? 258 00:30:05,649 --> 00:30:07,640 - What do you want? - Help? 259 00:30:07,718 --> 00:30:11,711 Already? Just bit the big one two months ago and you want help. 260 00:30:11,788 --> 00:30:14,052 What does that have to do with anything? 261 00:30:14,124 --> 00:30:17,924 You'll use up all your help vouchers. D-90s. 262 00:30:17,994 --> 00:30:21,486 You spend 125 years on earth in that house... 263 00:30:21,565 --> 00:30:25,899 during which you get only 3 class-one D-90 intercessions with Juno. 264 00:30:25,969 --> 00:30:28,904 You probably haven't read through the manual completely yet. 265 00:30:28,972 --> 00:30:31,941 You'll have to wait if you don't have an appointment. 266 00:30:32,008 --> 00:30:36,945 - An appointment with whom? - For Juno, your caseworker. 267 00:30:39,683 --> 00:30:43,141 Number 54,000,601. Ferndock! 268 00:31:48,852 --> 00:31:51,548 - Want a cigarette? - No, thank you. 269 00:31:52,656 --> 00:31:54,954 I'm trying to cut down myself. 270 00:32:12,142 --> 00:32:15,908 Adam, is this what happens when you die? 271 00:32:15,979 --> 00:32:18,243 This is what happens when you die. 272 00:32:18,315 --> 00:32:21,580 That is what happens when he dies. And that is what happens when they die. 273 00:32:21,651 --> 00:32:24,677 It's all very personal. I'll tell you something. 274 00:32:24,754 --> 00:32:28,918 If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had my little accident. 275 00:32:34,631 --> 00:32:36,565 Maitland. Party of two. 276 00:32:36,633 --> 00:32:39,193 Take the handbook and go to the sixth door. 277 00:32:39,269 --> 00:32:42,363 Oh, we forgot our handbook. 278 00:32:45,809 --> 00:32:46,798 Come on. 279 00:32:52,616 --> 00:32:56,177 All new arrivals, report to waiting room number eight. 280 00:32:58,688 --> 00:33:02,454 Flight 409 is arriving at gate three. 281 00:33:02,526 --> 00:33:05,051 How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side. 282 00:33:05,128 --> 00:33:07,426 - You look fine. - Fine. 283 00:33:07,497 --> 00:33:10,091 Thanks. I've been feeling a little flat. 284 00:33:33,523 --> 00:33:36,686 125 years. I can't believe this. 285 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,853 I can't believe they didn't tell us. 286 00:33:41,898 --> 00:33:44,389 Oh, Adam, what is this? 287 00:33:48,238 --> 00:33:51,071 That's the Lost Souls' Room. 288 00:33:51,141 --> 00:33:53,939 A room for ghosts that have been exorcised. 289 00:33:55,078 --> 00:33:56,636 Poor devils. 290 00:33:56,713 --> 00:33:59,978 That's death for the dead. 291 00:34:00,050 --> 00:34:02,280 It's all in the handbook. 292 00:34:02,352 --> 00:34:03,944 Keep moving. 293 00:34:08,625 --> 00:34:10,286 Five. 294 00:34:11,361 --> 00:34:13,386 This is the sixth door. 295 00:34:20,236 --> 00:34:23,831 Boy, this place just gets weirder and weirder. 296 00:34:34,484 --> 00:34:36,782 We're home! 297 00:34:36,853 --> 00:34:40,414 Look at this place! Everything's different. 298 00:34:41,825 --> 00:34:44,487 All our furniture's gone. 299 00:34:44,561 --> 00:34:47,189 How long do you suppose we were waiting there? 300 00:34:47,263 --> 00:34:48,855 Three months. 301 00:34:49,933 --> 00:34:52,959 I'd almost given up on you. I was about to leave. 302 00:34:53,036 --> 00:34:55,561 I do have other clients. 303 00:34:55,639 --> 00:34:58,199 - Are you Juno, our caseworker? - Yes. 304 00:34:58,274 --> 00:35:01,573 I evaluate individual cases and determine... 305 00:35:01,645 --> 00:35:04,876 if help is needed, deserved and available. 306 00:35:04,948 --> 00:35:06,779 Are you available? 307 00:35:08,251 --> 00:35:11,448 - What's wrong? - We're very unhappy. 308 00:35:11,521 --> 00:35:13,955 What did you expect? You're dead! 309 00:35:14,024 --> 00:35:18,290 We want to get rid of the people here. We worked hard on this house. 310 00:35:18,361 --> 00:35:21,353 We probably wouldn't mind sharing the house with people who were-- 311 00:35:21,431 --> 00:35:23,899 - More like you used to be. - Yes. 312 00:35:23,967 --> 00:35:25,594 But these people! 313 00:35:27,671 --> 00:35:30,697 Things seem quiet here. 314 00:35:30,774 --> 00:35:34,266 You should thank God you didn't die in Italy. 315 00:35:34,344 --> 00:35:35,834 The Deetzes! 316 00:35:35,912 --> 00:35:39,939 - Have you been studying the manual? - We tried. 317 00:35:40,016 --> 00:35:43,918 The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all. 318 00:35:43,987 --> 00:35:48,048 Get them out yourselves! It's your house. 319 00:35:48,124 --> 00:35:50,888 Haunted houses aren't easy to come by. 320 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,394 - We don't quite get it. - I heard. 321 00:35:53,463 --> 00:35:55,397 Tore your faces off. 322 00:35:55,465 --> 00:35:59,595 It's useless to pull off your heads in front of people who can't see you. 323 00:35:59,669 --> 00:36:02,137 - We should start simply? - Start simply. 324 00:36:02,205 --> 00:36:05,106 Do what you know. Use your talents. Practice. 325 00:36:06,910 --> 00:36:10,710 You should have been studying those lessons since day one. 326 00:36:12,816 --> 00:36:14,443 I've got to go. 327 00:36:14,517 --> 00:36:17,008 What about that guy in the flyer, Betel-- 328 00:36:18,321 --> 00:36:21,620 Don't even say his name. You don't want his help. 329 00:36:21,691 --> 00:36:23,659 We might. 330 00:36:23,727 --> 00:36:27,527 No, you don't. He does not work well with others. 331 00:36:28,598 --> 00:36:30,532 What do you mean? 332 00:36:34,471 --> 00:36:36,439 I didn't want to bring it up. 333 00:36:36,506 --> 00:36:41,603 But rather than have you make another mistake, I'll tell you. 334 00:36:41,678 --> 00:36:43,873 He was my assistant. 335 00:36:43,947 --> 00:36:47,110 But he was a troublemaker. He went out on his own... 336 00:36:47,183 --> 00:36:50,482 as a freelance bio-exorcist. 337 00:36:50,553 --> 00:36:54,512 Claimed he could get rid of the living. Got into more trouble. 338 00:36:58,495 --> 00:37:03,023 I believe he's been sleazing around your cemetery lately. 339 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,033 The only way he can be brought back... 340 00:37:07,103 --> 00:37:10,163 is by calling his name three times. 341 00:37:10,874 --> 00:37:13,308 But I strongly suggest... 342 00:37:13,376 --> 00:37:16,209 that you remove the Deetzes yourselves. 343 00:37:16,279 --> 00:37:18,304 How do we contact you... 344 00:37:18,381 --> 00:37:20,474 if we need you again? 345 00:37:30,226 --> 00:37:33,559 Oh, Adam, that guy's in our cemetery. 346 00:37:33,630 --> 00:37:37,259 She's right. We just keep this simple. We can do this. 347 00:38:01,324 --> 00:38:03,884 Hey, you, come here! 348 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,894 Hungry? 349 00:38:05,962 --> 00:38:08,123 Come on. Hey, come here. 350 00:38:09,299 --> 00:38:12,291 I got something good for you. Come on over. 351 00:38:12,368 --> 00:38:15,235 We'll have a little bite, something to nosh. 352 00:38:16,673 --> 00:38:19,403 - Come here! - Help me! 353 00:38:23,313 --> 00:38:27,613 Maxie, haven't I always made you money? That's the only real question. 354 00:38:27,684 --> 00:38:32,553 Nobody made me money like you. You were a demon until your nerves went. 355 00:38:32,622 --> 00:38:34,886 It's just that... 356 00:38:34,958 --> 00:38:38,325 Winter River, Connecticut, is, if you'll forgive me, nowhere. 357 00:38:38,394 --> 00:38:41,557 Why would I want to invest that kind of money in an old building? 358 00:38:41,631 --> 00:38:45,294 - It's way the hell up there! - It's not a building. That's the beauty. 359 00:38:45,368 --> 00:38:49,361 The people don't know the value of their property. I can buy the whole town. 360 00:38:49,439 --> 00:38:52,704 Then we own a whole town full of nowhere. 361 00:38:52,775 --> 00:38:54,299 Come and see. 362 00:38:54,377 --> 00:38:56,743 And bring Sarah. 363 00:38:56,813 --> 00:39:00,476 All right, Charles. It's just that I am kind of busy here. 364 00:39:00,550 --> 00:39:03,178 Just a minute. 365 00:39:03,253 --> 00:39:06,518 Listen. Enough of this talk about visiting, okay? I gotta go. 366 00:39:06,589 --> 00:39:09,217 You take it easy up there, big fellow. 367 00:39:09,292 --> 00:39:12,090 - Good-bye. - Max, wait, wait. 368 00:39:15,765 --> 00:39:17,232 Putz. 369 00:39:37,987 --> 00:39:42,287 Lydia, is Connecticut so boring? I had Maxie Dean on the phone. 370 00:39:42,358 --> 00:39:45,885 Dad's found a way of making money while I relax, so would you scram? 371 00:39:48,164 --> 00:39:52,191 Your mother will kill you when she sees you cut holes in her $300 sheets. 372 00:39:55,104 --> 00:39:58,631 This is so corny. Is this what we've been reduced to? Sheets? 373 00:39:58,708 --> 00:40:00,642 Think of them as death shrouds. 374 00:40:00,710 --> 00:40:03,144 And the moaning is important. Really moan! 375 00:40:21,597 --> 00:40:24,327 God, how can he stand that woman? 376 00:40:30,707 --> 00:40:34,768 Cut it out! I'm a child, for God's sakes. 377 00:40:42,218 --> 00:40:46,120 - I feel so stupid. - It's not stupid. We're ghosts! 378 00:40:46,189 --> 00:40:49,420 Do you want to spend the next 125 years having breakfast with this woman? 379 00:40:49,492 --> 00:40:51,084 Moan louder. 380 00:40:59,335 --> 00:41:01,735 Oh, God! 381 00:41:08,678 --> 00:41:10,942 Sick. Sexual perversion. 382 00:41:11,014 --> 00:41:14,780 Do that weird sexual stuff in your own bedroom. 383 00:41:20,423 --> 00:41:22,687 Ah, no feet. 384 00:41:34,137 --> 00:41:36,833 Are you the guys hiding in the attic? 385 00:41:36,906 --> 00:41:39,875 We're ghosts! 386 00:41:39,942 --> 00:41:42,740 - What do you look like under there? - Aren't you scared? 387 00:41:42,812 --> 00:41:46,111 I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? 388 00:41:46,182 --> 00:41:48,810 Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? 389 00:41:48,885 --> 00:41:51,251 Like all bloody veins and pus? 390 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,483 - Night of the what? - Living Dead. It's a movie. 391 00:41:54,557 --> 00:41:57,685 If I had seen a ghost at your age, I would have been scared out of my wits. 392 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:01,526 You're not gross. Why are you wearing sheets? 393 00:42:01,597 --> 00:42:03,224 We're practicing. 394 00:42:03,299 --> 00:42:07,065 - You can see us without the sheets? - Of course I can see you. 395 00:42:07,136 --> 00:42:09,366 How can you see us and nobody else can? 396 00:42:10,907 --> 00:42:14,502 I read through that Handbook for the Recently Deceased. 397 00:42:14,577 --> 00:42:19,981 It says, "Live people ignore the strange and unusual." 398 00:42:20,049 --> 00:42:24,281 I myself am strange and unusual. 399 00:42:24,353 --> 00:42:26,218 You look normal. 400 00:42:27,457 --> 00:42:29,687 - You read our book? - Yes. 401 00:42:29,759 --> 00:42:32,819 - You could follow it? - Yes. Why were you in Delia's bedroom? 402 00:42:32,895 --> 00:42:35,022 - Trying to scare your mother. - Stepmother. 403 00:42:35,598 --> 00:42:39,398 You can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium. 404 00:42:42,538 --> 00:42:43,971 You did this? 405 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,600 You carved these houses and things? 406 00:42:48,077 --> 00:42:50,841 And this used to be your house. 407 00:42:50,913 --> 00:42:53,108 Why do you want to scare everybody? 408 00:42:53,182 --> 00:42:56,117 We wanted to frighten you so you would move out. 409 00:42:57,987 --> 00:43:00,046 You don't know the Deetzes. 410 00:43:00,123 --> 00:43:04,150 My father bought this place. He never walks away from equity. 411 00:43:04,227 --> 00:43:08,129 - Why don't you leave? - We haven't left since the funeral. 412 00:43:09,265 --> 00:43:11,028 Funeral! 413 00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:13,728 God! You guys really are dead. 414 00:43:16,305 --> 00:43:18,330 This is amazing. 415 00:43:19,909 --> 00:43:21,433 - I better go. - Wait. 416 00:43:21,511 --> 00:43:26,175 - Don't tell your parents we're here. - Unless it will frighten them away. 417 00:43:26,249 --> 00:43:28,615 Tell them we are horrible... 418 00:43:28,684 --> 00:43:31,016 desperate ghoulish creatures who will stop at nothing... 419 00:43:31,087 --> 00:43:33,385 to get our house back. 420 00:43:35,458 --> 00:43:39,690 What if this is a dream? Can you do any tricks to prove I'm not dreaming? 421 00:43:44,333 --> 00:43:48,667 If you are real ghosts, you better get another routine because those sheets... 422 00:43:48,738 --> 00:43:50,706 they don't work. 423 00:44:00,082 --> 00:44:01,379 Ghosts. 424 00:44:01,450 --> 00:44:03,975 You're telling me we have ghosts in this house. 425 00:44:04,053 --> 00:44:06,613 Those pictures are of ghosts. 426 00:44:06,689 --> 00:44:08,486 Ghosts! 427 00:44:08,558 --> 00:44:12,324 Lydia, I am giving a dinner party tonight for seven people. 428 00:44:12,395 --> 00:44:15,956 My agent, Bernard, is bringing a woman who writes for Art in America. 429 00:44:16,032 --> 00:44:19,468 In fact, no one dining here has not been in Vanity Fair except you. 430 00:44:20,436 --> 00:44:22,461 I told them you were too mean to be afraid. 431 00:44:22,538 --> 00:44:24,597 Don't you dare speak to others about me! 432 00:44:24,674 --> 00:44:28,735 Being embarrassed in front of the few people who will set foot here scares me. 433 00:44:28,811 --> 00:44:31,211 So let's play family just for tonight. 434 00:44:36,986 --> 00:44:39,181 Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her. 435 00:44:39,255 --> 00:44:41,587 She's got photos. 436 00:44:41,657 --> 00:44:44,820 Adam, you have a photo of Bigfoot. 437 00:44:44,894 --> 00:44:48,057 My photo of Bigfoot is a different story. 438 00:44:48,130 --> 00:44:52,658 We've got to get some help. We've got to contact Betelmeyer or something. 439 00:45:06,415 --> 00:45:07,939 Look. 440 00:45:11,854 --> 00:45:14,015 It's him, Betelgeuse. 441 00:45:19,028 --> 00:45:21,053 Go ahead, Barbara, say it. 442 00:45:27,737 --> 00:45:29,329 What happened? 443 00:45:30,406 --> 00:45:32,670 I think we're in the model. 444 00:45:36,012 --> 00:45:37,946 Look at that. 445 00:46:00,703 --> 00:46:02,637 Where is he? What do we do? 446 00:46:06,842 --> 00:46:08,969 Looks like we dig. 447 00:46:39,141 --> 00:46:41,371 It's about time! 448 00:46:49,251 --> 00:46:52,880 - I say we open it. - Maybe we should knock first. 449 00:47:10,439 --> 00:47:13,203 Adam. Babs. 450 00:47:19,915 --> 00:47:24,352 You can pick 'em! Is this a solid relationship? Do I have a shot? 451 00:47:24,420 --> 00:47:27,412 - Excuse me. - Sure. Am I overstepping my bounds? 452 00:47:27,490 --> 00:47:32,154 It's beautiful! You picked me. You didn't have to, but you picked me. 453 00:47:32,228 --> 00:47:35,163 It makes me want to kiss you guys! Come on, give me one. 454 00:47:35,231 --> 00:47:37,222 I beg your pardon! 455 00:47:37,299 --> 00:47:39,233 Let's get down to business. 456 00:47:39,301 --> 00:47:42,065 I've got a card here somewhere. Here. Who do I have to kill? 457 00:47:42,138 --> 00:47:45,369 - Hold that for me. - Whoa! 458 00:47:45,441 --> 00:47:47,841 - There you go. - You don't have to kill anybody! 459 00:47:47,910 --> 00:47:52,677 Possession! Learn to throw your voice. Fool your friends. Fun at parties. 460 00:47:52,748 --> 00:47:56,149 No. We just want to get some people out of our house. 461 00:47:56,218 --> 00:48:00,621 I understand. In order to do that, I'll have to get to know you. 462 00:48:00,689 --> 00:48:03,351 We've got to get closer. Move in with you for a while. 463 00:48:03,426 --> 00:48:06,623 Get to be real pals. You know what I'm saying? 464 00:48:06,695 --> 00:48:08,629 Save that guy for later. 465 00:48:08,697 --> 00:48:11,029 My wife and I have some questions. 466 00:48:11,100 --> 00:48:13,295 Sure, go ahead. Shoot. 467 00:48:13,369 --> 00:48:15,428 What are your qualifications? 468 00:48:15,504 --> 00:48:19,440 Well, I attended Juilliard. I'm a graduate of Harvard Business School. 469 00:48:19,508 --> 00:48:23,069 I travel extensively. I lived through the Black Plague. 470 00:48:23,145 --> 00:48:26,046 I've seen The Exorcist about 167 times... 471 00:48:26,115 --> 00:48:29,846 and it keeps getting funnier every time I see it! 472 00:48:29,919 --> 00:48:32,581 Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy! 473 00:48:32,655 --> 00:48:35,818 Now what do you think? You think I'm qualified? 474 00:48:36,892 --> 00:48:38,826 Can you be scary? 475 00:48:38,894 --> 00:48:43,058 Oh! I know what you're asking me. Can I be scary? 476 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,668 What do you think of this? 477 00:48:46,735 --> 00:48:49,203 You like it? 478 00:48:49,271 --> 00:48:52,798 - Will you excuse us, please? - Sure. Talk amongst yourselves. 479 00:48:52,875 --> 00:48:56,174 - Let's go. - I know, but he can be useful later. 480 00:48:56,245 --> 00:49:00,204 - We can work something ourselves. - Oh, yeah! 481 00:49:00,282 --> 00:49:02,079 - Excuse me! - What? 482 00:49:02,151 --> 00:49:04,085 We are leaving now. 483 00:49:04,153 --> 00:49:06,246 Don't go yet. 484 00:49:06,322 --> 00:49:11,225 Come on, we're simpatico. Look at us. We shop at the same store. 485 00:49:11,293 --> 00:49:13,227 Hey, hermano. 486 00:49:13,295 --> 00:49:15,320 Yeah, there you go. 487 00:49:16,899 --> 00:49:19,231 We're like peas in a pod. 488 00:49:19,301 --> 00:49:23,567 You want someone out of the house. I want to get someone out of your house. 489 00:49:23,639 --> 00:49:27,268 Look! You've been to Saturn. I've been to Saturn! 490 00:49:27,343 --> 00:49:29,811 Whoa. Sandworms. 491 00:49:29,879 --> 00:49:33,110 You hate 'em, right? I hate 'em myself. 492 00:49:33,182 --> 00:49:36,845 Kids, what do I have to do to strike a deal with you two? 493 00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:47,261 - Don't you hate it when that happens? - Let's go, Barbara! 494 00:49:47,329 --> 00:49:50,730 Come up for a while. We'll talk inside. Come on. 495 00:49:50,799 --> 00:49:53,063 - I'm not staying. - The place is a mess. 496 00:49:53,135 --> 00:49:57,504 We have to get out of here. Home! Home! Home! 497 00:49:58,541 --> 00:50:00,532 How did you do that? 498 00:50:00,609 --> 00:50:02,804 Hope you like Italian. 499 00:50:02,878 --> 00:50:05,711 Where'd you go? Hey, where'd you go? 500 00:50:05,781 --> 00:50:08,272 Hey! You've got to work with me here. 501 00:50:08,350 --> 00:50:10,910 I'm just trying to cut a deal. What do you want me to do? 502 00:50:10,986 --> 00:50:12,749 Where are you? 503 00:50:12,821 --> 00:50:15,312 You bunch of losers! 504 00:50:15,391 --> 00:50:19,054 You're working with a professional here! 505 00:50:22,531 --> 00:50:24,761 Nice fucking model! 506 00:50:24,833 --> 00:50:27,427 We can do this stuff on our own. 507 00:50:27,503 --> 00:50:30,734 Besides, I'm not exposing that little girl to that pervert. 508 00:50:30,806 --> 00:50:33,798 We did call him, and he seemed awfully pissed off. 509 00:50:33,876 --> 00:50:39,212 I don't care. I've changed my mind. We can scare them off ourselves tonight. 510 00:50:39,281 --> 00:50:41,306 I have an idea. 511 00:50:47,423 --> 00:50:50,358 What you did with the place is wonderful. 512 00:50:50,426 --> 00:50:52,451 Not me. Them. 513 00:50:53,529 --> 00:50:55,554 So? 514 00:50:59,602 --> 00:51:01,627 Do you like them? 515 00:51:01,704 --> 00:51:05,936 I hope it wasn't yet another of your dreary suicide attempts. 516 00:51:06,008 --> 00:51:08,806 You know what they say about people who commit suicide. 517 00:51:08,877 --> 00:51:11,846 In the afterlife, they become civil servants. 518 00:51:14,149 --> 00:51:17,118 Otho, I didn't realize you were into the supernatural. 519 00:51:17,186 --> 00:51:19,313 Of course! You remember. 520 00:51:19,388 --> 00:51:22,084 After my stint with the Living Theater... 521 00:51:22,157 --> 00:51:25,718 I was one of New York's leading paranormal researchers... 522 00:51:25,794 --> 00:51:27,762 until the bottom dropped out in '72. 523 00:51:27,830 --> 00:51:30,628 Paranormal? Is that what they're calling your kind these days? 524 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:36,328 Don't mind her. She's still upset that somebody dropped a house on her sister. 525 00:51:39,541 --> 00:51:42,237 Well, this looks really good. 526 00:51:43,512 --> 00:51:46,310 I saw some ghosts. 527 00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:55,115 - It's a private joke Lydia and I share. - It's not a joke. 528 00:51:55,190 --> 00:51:59,524 Yes, it is. Just today she tried to convince me this house is haunted. 529 00:52:01,497 --> 00:52:04,330 Kids! You know, I love them! 530 00:52:05,668 --> 00:52:09,365 - Ghosts? - In designer sheets, no less. 531 00:52:09,438 --> 00:52:12,839 I'd like to propose a toast to our intrepid friends... 532 00:52:12,908 --> 00:52:16,002 who braved the expressway and two dozen tollbooths to be with us. 533 00:52:16,078 --> 00:52:18,103 May your buildings go condo. 534 00:52:19,782 --> 00:52:22,683 Lydia, favor us about your ghosts. 535 00:52:22,751 --> 00:52:25,276 No! I am sick of that subject. 536 00:52:25,354 --> 00:52:27,618 Delia, lighten up. 537 00:52:27,690 --> 00:52:30,215 I would rather talk about-- 538 00:52:45,274 --> 00:52:46,798 That's cute, Delia. 539 00:52:59,088 --> 00:53:02,148 Otho, are you doing this? 540 00:54:28,877 --> 00:54:30,811 We did it! 541 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,677 Let's watch them scatter. 542 00:54:33,749 --> 00:54:37,412 Any minute now they'll come running out that door screaming. 543 00:54:40,656 --> 00:54:42,146 Any minute now. 544 00:54:49,364 --> 00:54:51,332 It's me, Lydia. 545 00:54:54,336 --> 00:54:56,270 They want you to come downstairs. 546 00:54:56,338 --> 00:55:00,274 Delia says you can wear any sheets you want. 547 00:55:00,342 --> 00:55:04,369 It was like being in an amusement park. Bam! 548 00:55:04,446 --> 00:55:08,382 - I didn't know I could do the calypso. - Who has more fun than us? 549 00:55:08,450 --> 00:55:11,419 We're dealing with Tracy and Hepburn. 550 00:55:11,486 --> 00:55:15,252 A very sophisticated pair. They even appear in sheets. 551 00:55:16,525 --> 00:55:19,722 Charles, why didn't you tell us about this before? 552 00:55:21,263 --> 00:55:25,962 We're not sure we want our secret out. Everyone will want them for parties. 553 00:55:26,034 --> 00:55:27,797 People will pay big money for this. 554 00:55:27,870 --> 00:55:31,897 The Enquirer's offering $50,000 for proof of life after death. 555 00:55:33,709 --> 00:55:36,735 This is it, Charles. You can get Maxie Dean up here now. 556 00:55:36,812 --> 00:55:40,748 - You think so? - Sarah loves the supernatural. 557 00:55:40,816 --> 00:55:43,011 She'll have him sprint up here in his helicopter... 558 00:55:43,085 --> 00:55:45,747 if you can produce ghosts for her. 559 00:55:49,258 --> 00:55:52,250 I should remind you that I'm Delia's agent. 560 00:55:52,327 --> 00:55:54,659 I have lost money on her work for years. 561 00:55:54,730 --> 00:55:57,324 If anything happened here, I shall handle it. 562 00:55:57,399 --> 00:55:59,731 But not until I've seen real proof. 563 00:55:59,801 --> 00:56:03,999 - What about this table? - What do you call what just happened? 564 00:56:04,072 --> 00:56:05,835 What money? Don't you believe in my work? 565 00:56:06,441 --> 00:56:08,068 Here's Lydia. 566 00:56:09,611 --> 00:56:12,603 - Well? - They don't want to come down. 567 00:56:20,055 --> 00:56:21,488 Why not? 568 00:56:23,091 --> 00:56:27,221 I think they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared. 569 00:56:27,296 --> 00:56:31,528 They're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic. 570 00:56:34,569 --> 00:56:36,002 All right. 571 00:56:41,677 --> 00:56:45,943 This was not a hallucination. This was real. 572 00:56:46,014 --> 00:56:51,384 We all experienced a superpowerful paranormal experience and it was real. 573 00:56:51,453 --> 00:56:55,719 Delia, you are a flake. You have always been a flake. 574 00:56:55,791 --> 00:57:00,956 If you insist on frightening people, do it with your sculpture. 575 00:57:01,029 --> 00:57:02,724 Drive carefully! 576 00:57:02,798 --> 00:57:04,732 - I'm dead. - Where do they hide? 577 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,928 - The attic. - The attic's locked. 578 00:57:08,003 --> 00:57:10,597 They're ghosts. They can do what they want. 579 00:57:10,672 --> 00:57:13,835 They do whatever they want. Take us up there right now. 580 00:57:20,282 --> 00:57:23,615 Fabulous! Otho Fenlock's "Locked Door Ghosts!" 581 00:57:23,685 --> 00:57:25,277 Probably committed suicide there. 582 00:57:25,354 --> 00:57:27,618 - I'm enchanted. - In there? 583 00:57:27,689 --> 00:57:30,624 - They must live like animals. - It's locked. How did they get in? 584 00:57:30,692 --> 00:57:33,786 Open this door, dead people, or we'll bust it down... 585 00:57:33,862 --> 00:57:36,387 and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourself with! 586 00:57:36,465 --> 00:57:38,899 - They didn't commit suicide. - It doesn't matter. 587 00:57:38,967 --> 00:57:42,596 I can teach you something here. Take the upper hand in all situations... 588 00:57:42,671 --> 00:57:45,572 or people, dead or alive, will walk all over you. 589 00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:47,471 Open up! 590 00:57:59,287 --> 00:58:00,948 Where are they? 591 00:58:01,023 --> 00:58:03,617 These ghosts are nice people. 592 00:58:03,692 --> 00:58:06,388 I think we scared them away, so let's leave them alone, all right? 593 00:58:07,429 --> 00:58:10,694 It's the whole damn town. 594 00:58:10,766 --> 00:58:14,133 I have never been so embarrassed. 595 00:58:14,202 --> 00:58:16,136 Have they gone for good? 596 00:58:22,411 --> 00:58:24,072 Dad, don't. 597 00:58:24,146 --> 00:58:26,410 Mom, let's just go. 598 00:58:38,693 --> 00:58:41,184 No ghosts here. 599 00:58:43,065 --> 00:58:45,898 Come on! If they are in here, I don't want to scare them away. 600 00:58:48,537 --> 00:58:51,938 We're leaving now. You can go about your business. 601 00:58:53,942 --> 00:58:56,775 - What are we doing? - Quick, quick, quick. 602 00:59:04,019 --> 00:59:07,147 Oh, boy! You guys are really spooksters, aren't you? 603 00:59:08,156 --> 00:59:11,785 Now, let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose. 604 00:59:14,429 --> 00:59:18,229 Otho, get Maxie on the phone. We've really got something here. 605 00:59:18,300 --> 00:59:22,361 We can turn this place into the world's leading supernatural research center. 606 00:59:22,437 --> 00:59:25,565 Amusement park. I'll do a presentation, Lydia will bring the ghosts. 607 00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:28,632 I can't bring the ghosts. They're not here. 608 00:59:28,710 --> 00:59:32,441 - Otho, can't you do something? - If I'm properly motivated. 609 00:59:35,117 --> 00:59:37,881 What type of motivation do you require? 610 00:59:37,953 --> 00:59:41,821 Why don't you leave them alone? They didn't do anything to you. 611 01:00:29,271 --> 01:00:32,069 We've come for your daughter, Chuck. 612 01:00:32,908 --> 01:00:34,307 Stop! Stop! 613 01:00:46,121 --> 01:00:48,851 - Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse! - Oh, no! 614 01:00:50,892 --> 01:00:53,190 Why are you doing this? 615 01:00:54,563 --> 01:00:57,396 Leave me alone, all of you! 616 01:01:00,302 --> 01:01:00,335 Great choice! We spend the next century hanging out a window or doing tricks. 617 01:01:00,335 --> 01:01:05,773 Great choice! We spend the next century hanging out a window or doing tricks. 618 01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:08,536 Maybe they'll leave now. That snake was a nasty customer. 619 01:01:08,610 --> 01:01:10,737 - He could've hurt somebody. - But he didn't. 620 01:01:10,812 --> 01:01:13,280 We've got them where we want them. 621 01:01:17,352 --> 01:01:21,345 You losers! How dare you interrupt a professional while he's working! 622 01:01:21,423 --> 01:01:24,153 I'm not fond of Charles, but you could've killed him. 623 01:01:24,226 --> 01:01:27,423 I'm just doing my job! I thought we had a deal. 624 01:01:27,495 --> 01:01:29,986 It's okay. You know why? 625 01:01:30,065 --> 01:01:34,559 I don't want to do business with you deadbeats anyway, thank you. 626 01:01:34,636 --> 01:01:38,504 The only one I think I can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter. 627 01:01:38,573 --> 01:01:40,939 - She understands me. - Leave her alone! 628 01:01:53,388 --> 01:01:56,221 Go ahead, make my millennium. 629 01:02:03,265 --> 01:02:07,224 I'm feeling a little anxious, if you know what I mean. 630 01:02:07,302 --> 01:02:09,770 It's been about 600 years. 631 01:02:09,838 --> 01:02:13,604 I wonder where an everyday Joe like myself... 632 01:02:13,675 --> 01:02:15,768 can find a little action. 633 01:02:32,794 --> 01:02:34,887 Yeah. Here I come, baby. 634 01:02:39,234 --> 01:02:41,168 Hey, Adam, nice move! 635 01:02:42,671 --> 01:02:45,606 - Why did you build that? - I didn't. 636 01:02:55,350 --> 01:02:57,682 Will you guys shut up and leave me alone? 637 01:02:57,752 --> 01:03:00,084 I've got all this paperwork to do. 638 01:03:02,390 --> 01:03:04,449 You two, come in. Sit down. 639 01:03:04,526 --> 01:03:06,960 Get in here, both of you! 640 01:03:10,231 --> 01:03:14,691 The whorehouse was my idea. I want Betelgeuse out of the picture. 641 01:03:15,537 --> 01:03:18,131 You have really screwed up. 642 01:03:18,206 --> 01:03:21,198 I heard you allowed yourselves to be photographed. 643 01:03:21,276 --> 01:03:24,040 You let Betelgeuse out and didn't put him back. 644 01:03:24,112 --> 01:03:26,512 And you let Otho take the handbook! 645 01:03:26,581 --> 01:03:27,980 When? 646 01:03:29,050 --> 01:03:31,541 Never trust the living! 647 01:03:31,619 --> 01:03:34,315 We cannot have a routine haunting like yours... 648 01:03:34,389 --> 01:03:38,723 provide proof that there is existence beyond death. 649 01:03:38,793 --> 01:03:42,251 Coach, where's the men's room? 650 01:03:42,330 --> 01:03:44,958 I'm not your coach. He survived. 651 01:03:45,033 --> 01:03:47,126 Let me get something straight. 652 01:03:47,202 --> 01:03:50,729 - What's our curfew? - Get out of here! 653 01:03:50,805 --> 01:03:53,899 Go on, get downstairs! Men's room! 654 01:03:53,975 --> 01:03:56,569 Are you kidding? Can't you read signs? 655 01:03:56,644 --> 01:03:58,737 I'll be right back. 656 01:04:10,692 --> 01:04:13,126 Maybe this was a bad idea. 657 01:04:13,194 --> 01:04:15,219 I didn't say anything. 658 01:04:17,065 --> 01:04:20,034 Who are we kidding? You've never had a bad idea. 659 01:04:20,101 --> 01:04:21,534 Yeah? 660 01:04:24,005 --> 01:04:28,101 This could all work out. Home. 661 01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:34,908 I'm not sure this is the right environment for Lydia. 662 01:04:34,983 --> 01:04:37,543 - Snakes. Ghosts. - Shrimp. 663 01:04:38,653 --> 01:04:40,587 You family types. 664 01:04:40,655 --> 01:04:44,455 You've got other things to worry about. Maxie Dean is coming tonight. 665 01:04:44,526 --> 01:04:48,360 You have to sell these ghosts. I can only do so much. 666 01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:51,695 What are you going to do? Viciously rearrange their environment? 667 01:04:51,766 --> 01:04:55,930 I know as much about the supernatural as I do about interior design. 668 01:05:03,845 --> 01:05:07,212 I am alone. 669 01:05:17,225 --> 01:05:19,318 I am... 670 01:05:19,394 --> 01:05:22,329 utterly alone. 671 01:05:23,865 --> 01:05:28,268 By the time you read this... 672 01:05:29,471 --> 01:05:32,497 I will be gone... 673 01:05:34,242 --> 01:05:37,006 having jumped-- 674 01:05:38,279 --> 01:05:42,807 Having plummeted off... 675 01:05:43,952 --> 01:05:48,412 the Winter River Bridge. 676 01:05:48,490 --> 01:05:51,391 I don't care what it takes. 677 01:05:51,459 --> 01:05:54,087 You get the Deetzes out of there now! 678 01:05:55,430 --> 01:05:59,696 Wait a minute. What are you going to do? 679 01:06:01,402 --> 01:06:03,336 To scare them. 680 01:06:03,404 --> 01:06:06,100 I want to make sure it's not some silly parlor trick. 681 01:06:07,108 --> 01:06:09,633 I'll go first. 682 01:06:30,865 --> 01:06:34,426 Not bad. Not bad. Now you. 683 01:06:35,637 --> 01:06:37,070 Go ahead! 684 01:06:51,886 --> 01:06:54,081 You look great. 685 01:06:54,155 --> 01:06:59,354 Go clean house and don't forget the photographs and the handbook. 686 01:07:07,168 --> 01:07:10,137 - Coach? - What? 687 01:07:10,204 --> 01:07:12,536 I don't think we survived that crash. 688 01:07:12,607 --> 01:07:14,507 How did you guess? 689 01:07:17,912 --> 01:07:19,903 Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? 690 01:07:24,586 --> 01:07:26,019 Hello! 691 01:07:26,988 --> 01:07:29,479 - How are you? - Dead. 692 01:07:30,325 --> 01:07:32,691 Dead, dead, deadski. 693 01:07:33,795 --> 01:07:35,695 Of course they're dead. They're ghosts. 694 01:07:35,763 --> 01:07:40,257 No, I mean they're gone. Split. Out of here. Afterlife kids. 695 01:07:40,335 --> 01:07:43,793 - Deceased. - Are you a ghost, too? 696 01:07:44,772 --> 01:07:47,366 I'm the ghost with the most, babe. 697 01:07:49,677 --> 01:07:53,078 You look like somebody I can relate to. 698 01:07:54,215 --> 01:07:57,480 Maybe you could help me get out of here. 699 01:07:57,552 --> 01:08:00,146 I gotta tell you, this death thing-- 700 01:08:03,358 --> 01:08:04,791 It's creepy. 701 01:08:04,859 --> 01:08:06,952 Here's my problem. 702 01:08:07,028 --> 01:08:10,589 I've got friends on the outside I said I'd meet. 703 01:08:10,665 --> 01:08:12,963 I have to be there in person. 704 01:08:13,034 --> 01:08:15,127 So could you help me get out of here? 705 01:08:16,471 --> 01:08:20,271 - I want to get in. - Why? 706 01:08:21,976 --> 01:08:25,776 You've probably got your reason, but I can't do anything from here. 707 01:08:25,847 --> 01:08:30,716 If you could get me out, over there, maybe we could talk. 708 01:08:30,785 --> 01:08:34,312 But to do that you've got to say my name three times. 709 01:08:34,389 --> 01:08:36,550 What's your name? 710 01:08:36,624 --> 01:08:39,821 - I can't tell you. - Why not? 711 01:08:39,894 --> 01:08:44,524 If I tell you, you'll tell your friends, they'll call me all the time. 712 01:08:44,599 --> 01:08:48,695 I've got to go to shopping centers for openings, sign autographs, that shit. 713 01:08:48,770 --> 01:08:52,262 It makes my life hell, okay? A living hell. 714 01:08:52,340 --> 01:08:56,834 But maybe if you have a pen-- I know! Do you play charades? 715 01:08:56,911 --> 01:08:58,811 - Yeah. - Good. 716 01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:00,814 Here we go. Ready? 717 01:09:00,882 --> 01:09:02,873 Two words. 718 01:09:02,950 --> 01:09:04,383 Right! 719 01:09:05,687 --> 01:09:08,451 First word, two syllables. 720 01:09:08,523 --> 01:09:09,956 Look. 721 01:09:10,725 --> 01:09:12,886 Turn around. 722 01:09:13,928 --> 01:09:15,862 I don't know what your signal means. 723 01:09:15,930 --> 01:09:18,228 Look behind you! 724 01:09:18,299 --> 01:09:20,392 Hi. How are you? 725 01:09:20,468 --> 01:09:21,901 Beetle. 726 01:09:21,969 --> 01:09:23,960 Got it. Now, two. 727 01:09:26,908 --> 01:09:29,536 Breakfast? Orange? Orange beetle? 728 01:09:29,610 --> 01:09:31,578 Beetle fruit? 729 01:09:31,646 --> 01:09:33,546 Beetle breakfast? 730 01:09:34,382 --> 01:09:35,815 Beetle drink? 731 01:09:38,653 --> 01:09:40,177 Beetle juice? 732 01:09:40,254 --> 01:09:42,848 - That's it! - Your name's Beetlejuice? 733 01:09:42,924 --> 01:09:46,519 You said it twice. Just say it once more. Come on. 734 01:09:46,594 --> 01:09:50,257 It was you, wasn't it? The snake. 735 01:09:50,331 --> 01:09:54,324 You kids and your imagination! Just say it! 736 01:09:54,402 --> 01:09:58,429 No. I want to talk to Barbara. 737 01:09:58,506 --> 01:10:02,067 You don't need to talk to Barbara! Just say it! 738 01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:09,207 Adam, I can't go through with it. I like that little girl. 739 01:10:09,283 --> 01:10:12,912 But it's too late. We have to go through with this. 740 01:10:12,987 --> 01:10:17,083 No, we don't. Can't we rebel? 741 01:10:22,497 --> 01:10:24,727 I want to be with Lydia. 742 01:10:35,710 --> 01:10:38,235 Come on! Just say it! 743 01:10:39,814 --> 01:10:41,441 No, don't say it! 744 01:10:42,650 --> 01:10:44,481 Say it! 745 01:10:44,552 --> 01:10:47,544 It's okay. It's us. What's going on? 746 01:10:48,689 --> 01:10:50,418 Beetle-- 747 01:10:50,491 --> 01:10:54,052 He said if I let him out he would take me to the other side to find you. 748 01:10:54,128 --> 01:10:57,427 No, Lydia, we're dead. 749 01:10:58,599 --> 01:11:01,363 I want to be dead, too. 750 01:11:09,243 --> 01:11:12,144 Being dead doesn't make things any easier. 751 01:11:12,213 --> 01:11:17,150 Listen to her on this. This is something we know a lot about. 752 01:11:17,218 --> 01:11:21,552 And you can visit us anytime you want. 753 01:11:21,622 --> 01:11:25,388 I have a feeling things are going to be better from now on. 754 01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:28,590 What do you mean, better? 755 01:11:28,663 --> 01:11:33,225 We've decided we're going to invite you and your family to stay. 756 01:11:33,935 --> 01:11:35,368 That's right. 757 01:11:40,842 --> 01:11:44,175 - Can't we bring Maxie up here? - You've got a stake in this, too. 758 01:11:44,245 --> 01:11:48,978 This is a presentation. It requires a sense of occasion, a sense of style. 759 01:11:49,050 --> 01:11:51,678 - It's big. How will we get it out? - It's sectional. 760 01:11:51,752 --> 01:11:53,617 - Wait, there are plugs. - Careful! 761 01:11:53,688 --> 01:11:55,121 Okay, go. 762 01:11:56,858 --> 01:11:59,986 - What's going on? - I don't know. I'll find out. 763 01:12:00,061 --> 01:12:01,494 Be careful. 764 01:12:02,864 --> 01:12:05,332 Ed Cornwell will head the wax museum... 765 01:12:05,399 --> 01:12:09,495 dedicated to 50 great moments of the paranormal in Thanksgiving Park. 766 01:12:09,570 --> 01:12:12,334 You must remember Ed. 767 01:12:12,406 --> 01:12:16,172 He's the genius who gave us the talking Marcel Marceau statue. 768 01:12:17,879 --> 01:12:22,612 And D-Con is on its knees to sponsor the insect zoo... 769 01:12:22,683 --> 01:12:25,243 in the old hardware store. 770 01:12:25,319 --> 01:12:26,752 We can't lose! 771 01:12:32,994 --> 01:12:37,431 Lydia, you decided to join us. I just finished the initial presentation. 772 01:12:37,498 --> 01:12:40,490 Now it's time to have a stretch... 773 01:12:40,568 --> 01:12:44,504 and to invite our friends to meet your friends. 774 01:12:44,572 --> 01:12:46,563 Are they here yet? 775 01:12:46,641 --> 01:12:50,509 Charles, we're here to see some ghosts. 776 01:12:51,545 --> 01:12:53,843 They're not here...anymore. 777 01:12:58,119 --> 01:13:00,587 Every time she says that, the paint peels... 778 01:13:00,655 --> 01:13:03,886 and some wild creature tries to kill us. 779 01:13:05,226 --> 01:13:07,558 But we have pictures, Lydia. 780 01:13:07,628 --> 01:13:10,620 Really. They said they'd come back and we could all live here... 781 01:13:10,698 --> 01:13:15,795 if you agreed not to tease them or make them do stupid tricks. 782 01:13:15,870 --> 01:13:18,737 She has a tendency to overreact. 783 01:13:18,806 --> 01:13:23,903 Don't worry, we're not relying on her. We have Otho. 784 01:13:25,546 --> 01:13:28,982 - Are they still here? - Otho, are they still here? 785 01:13:29,050 --> 01:13:32,850 They're still here. They're just hiding out. 786 01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:35,514 Probably feel guilty about what they did to me. 787 01:13:35,589 --> 01:13:37,523 They're sorry they didn't kill you. 788 01:13:37,591 --> 01:13:42,290 - I just want to see them. - Otho, can you do it? 789 01:13:43,731 --> 01:13:47,599 It'll be tricky, but I think I can handle it. 790 01:13:51,806 --> 01:13:55,242 What am I worried about? You can't even change a tire. 791 01:13:58,179 --> 01:14:00,943 I'll be needing something personal of theirs. 792 01:14:01,015 --> 01:14:03,108 You'll have to go to Goodwill. 793 01:14:06,087 --> 01:14:07,520 Excuse me. 794 01:14:19,934 --> 01:14:22,198 The wedding clothes. 795 01:14:23,471 --> 01:14:25,701 The words 796 01:14:33,114 --> 01:14:35,173 "Hands vermilion 797 01:14:35,249 --> 01:14:37,615 "Start of five 798 01:14:37,685 --> 01:14:39,118 "Bright cotillion 799 01:14:40,221 --> 01:14:42,621 "Raven's dive 800 01:14:42,690 --> 01:14:44,317 "Nightshade's promise 801 01:14:45,059 --> 01:14:47,721 "Spirits strive 802 01:14:47,795 --> 01:14:53,324 "To the living, let now the dead come alive" 803 01:15:05,946 --> 01:15:07,743 Barbara? 804 01:15:09,483 --> 01:15:11,747 "As sudden thunder pierces night 805 01:15:13,054 --> 01:15:15,818 "As magic wonder mad affright 806 01:15:15,890 --> 01:15:19,553 "Rives asunder man's delight 807 01:15:19,627 --> 01:15:22,596 "Our ghost, our corpse 808 01:15:22,663 --> 01:15:25,860 "And we rise to be" 809 01:15:44,118 --> 01:15:45,949 Stop it! 810 01:15:48,155 --> 01:15:51,750 "As flies the lizard Serpent fell 811 01:15:51,826 --> 01:15:55,227 "As goblin vizard at the spell 812 01:15:55,296 --> 01:15:59,426 "The buried, dead and slain rise again" 813 01:16:45,312 --> 01:16:50,147 - What's happening to them? - I don't know. 814 01:16:51,519 --> 01:16:53,077 They're dying! 815 01:16:53,154 --> 01:16:55,679 They're already dead. They can't feel a thing. 816 01:16:56,724 --> 01:16:59,818 - That's not true! Look at them! - That's enough. 817 01:16:59,894 --> 01:17:01,828 Can you stop this? 818 01:17:03,664 --> 01:17:06,656 It's too late, Charles. I'm sorry. 819 01:17:14,141 --> 01:17:17,872 Where are you? Help them, please. 820 01:17:20,814 --> 01:17:24,147 Sure, I can help them. But you've got to help me. 821 01:17:24,218 --> 01:17:27,210 - What? - I'm what you call an illegal alien. 822 01:17:27,288 --> 01:17:31,816 I want out for good. To do that, I've gotta get married. 823 01:17:32,893 --> 01:17:36,954 These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, I don't have any rules. 824 01:17:37,865 --> 01:17:39,799 Come on. 825 01:17:39,867 --> 01:17:42,893 Think of it as a marriage of inconvenience. We both get something. 826 01:17:42,970 --> 01:17:47,202 I get out, you get the most eligible bachelor since Valentino. 827 01:17:47,274 --> 01:17:50,641 - We're even. - Okay, just help them. 828 01:17:53,113 --> 01:17:54,546 Sure. 829 01:18:04,792 --> 01:18:06,885 Beetlejuice. 830 01:18:14,635 --> 01:18:16,728 It's show time. 831 01:18:33,854 --> 01:18:35,788 Attention, K-Mart shoppers. 832 01:18:46,900 --> 01:18:51,633 I'm back. I feel real good about myself. You know what I mean? So... 833 01:18:51,705 --> 01:18:53,468 without further delay... 834 01:18:54,942 --> 01:18:56,933 welcome to Winter River! 835 01:18:57,011 --> 01:18:59,241 Museum of Natural Greed! 836 01:18:59,313 --> 01:19:01,474 A monument to the bored businessman. 837 01:19:01,548 --> 01:19:05,609 Come a little closer. Step right up! Test your strength. 838 01:19:27,474 --> 01:19:28,907 Thank you. 839 01:19:28,976 --> 01:19:30,910 Thank you! Whew! 840 01:19:32,079 --> 01:19:36,106 That is why I won't do two shows a night anymore, babe. 841 01:19:36,183 --> 01:19:37,810 I won't do 'em. 842 01:19:37,885 --> 01:19:41,912 Well, what have we got here tonight, kids? 843 01:19:43,791 --> 01:19:46,021 We've got the Maitlands. 844 01:19:46,093 --> 01:19:48,755 I think they've had enough exercise for the night. 845 01:19:56,003 --> 01:19:59,029 Not so fast, round boy. We're gonna have some laughs. 846 01:20:19,593 --> 01:20:21,527 Mom, Dad. 847 01:20:24,064 --> 01:20:26,931 I just want you to know you're welcome in our house... 848 01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:29,332 anytime you want to come over. 849 01:20:29,403 --> 01:20:33,339 In the meantime, the dowry's on me, Dad. 850 01:20:36,543 --> 01:20:41,446 The Maitlands are taken care of. Everything seems to be back to normal. 851 01:20:46,153 --> 01:20:47,586 Shall we? 852 01:20:57,865 --> 01:21:00,265 Called the caterer. He's got a great band. 853 01:21:00,334 --> 01:21:03,735 We're gonna need witnesses. Would you? 854 01:21:53,554 --> 01:21:55,749 Let's get on with the ceremony. 855 01:21:55,823 --> 01:21:57,450 Do you, Betel-- 856 01:21:59,026 --> 01:22:03,122 - Nobody says the "B" word. - Do you take this woman... 857 01:22:03,197 --> 01:22:06,098 to be your wedded wife? 858 01:22:06,166 --> 01:22:08,794 I don't know. It's a big decision. 859 01:22:08,869 --> 01:22:12,737 I always said if I ever did it, I was gonna do it only once. 860 01:22:13,707 --> 01:22:15,140 Sure. Go ahead. 861 01:22:15,209 --> 01:22:18,337 And do you, Lydia, take this man-- 862 01:22:18,412 --> 01:22:20,141 No! Betel-- 863 01:22:21,615 --> 01:22:25,312 She's a little nervous. Maybe I should answer for her. 864 01:22:25,385 --> 01:22:27,319 I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. 865 01:22:27,387 --> 01:22:29,912 The man next to me is the one I want. You asked me. 866 01:22:29,990 --> 01:22:34,017 I'm answering. Yes, I love that man of mine. Come on. 867 01:22:38,732 --> 01:22:40,029 Come on. 868 01:22:41,235 --> 01:22:43,066 Betelgeu-- 869 01:22:48,242 --> 01:22:49,675 Scram! 870 01:22:51,278 --> 01:22:52,711 Come on! 871 01:22:54,214 --> 01:22:55,977 Hey, guy. 872 01:22:58,719 --> 01:23:01,153 May we continue with the ceremony? 873 01:23:03,857 --> 01:23:05,791 - Then by-- - Betelgeuse. 874 01:23:15,769 --> 01:23:17,168 Strike! 875 01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:21,832 Let's roll! 876 01:23:21,909 --> 01:23:25,140 Then by the authority vested in me-- 877 01:23:25,212 --> 01:23:27,840 - The ring please. - The ring! Oh, no! 878 01:23:35,889 --> 01:23:38,357 I've got it, honey. 879 01:23:53,740 --> 01:23:56,368 Here it is. Here you go. 880 01:23:56,443 --> 01:23:59,844 She meant nothing to me. Nothing at all! 881 01:24:05,819 --> 01:24:08,117 - I now pronounce you-- - Yeah, come on. 882 01:24:09,990 --> 01:24:12,390 Man and-- 883 01:25:10,784 --> 01:25:14,584 - What time is it? - It's about 3:30. 884 01:25:14,655 --> 01:25:16,782 Give or take a year. 885 01:25:23,096 --> 01:25:26,588 Well? Did you get the paints? 886 01:25:26,667 --> 01:25:30,194 Yes. And I took pictures of the new town hall for you, too. 887 01:25:30,270 --> 01:25:32,204 How was the science test? 888 01:25:32,272 --> 01:25:35,332 It was gross. They wanted me to dissect a frog. 889 01:25:35,409 --> 01:25:38,867 I told them "no way." I said it was against my religion. I got a "C." 890 01:25:38,945 --> 01:25:40,879 And the math test? 891 01:25:42,349 --> 01:25:46,911 You're kidding me? We spent the whole week studying for that test. 892 01:25:46,987 --> 01:25:48,648 I got an "A." 893 01:25:48,722 --> 01:25:50,713 So, can I? 894 01:25:50,791 --> 01:25:54,454 I don't know. Got a "C" on the science test. 895 01:25:55,562 --> 01:25:58,030 Don't tease her. You never got on "A" in science-- 896 01:26:03,203 --> 01:26:04,864 Come on. 897 01:26:06,173 --> 01:26:08,403 Well... 898 01:26:08,475 --> 01:26:09,908 I suppose. 899 01:26:26,093 --> 01:26:28,584 This reads like stereo instructions. 900 01:26:28,662 --> 01:26:31,096 Sounds like Lydia got an "A" on the math test. 901 01:26:33,667 --> 01:26:36,192 He likes it. 902 01:27:15,842 --> 01:27:17,639 Sorry. Didn't see you sitting there. 903 01:27:20,113 --> 01:27:22,274 Women. 904 01:27:22,349 --> 01:27:25,580 I don't know what her problem is. 905 01:27:25,652 --> 01:27:27,085 Normally, chicks-- 906 01:27:41,701 --> 01:27:43,669 Pardon me. Did you do that? 907 01:27:43,737 --> 01:27:45,261 Nice work. 908 01:27:45,338 --> 01:27:47,431 How do you get them so small? 909 01:27:47,507 --> 01:27:49,475 There goes Elvis! Yo, King! 910 01:27:52,245 --> 01:27:56,375 Well, looks like I'm next. 911 01:27:56,449 --> 01:28:01,978 Good thing. I've got to do a photo shoot for G.Q. in an hour and a half. 912 01:28:02,055 --> 01:28:05,957 They've been after me for months. Some kind of underwear deal. 913 01:28:07,594 --> 01:28:10,563 What are you doing? Stop it. You're messing up my hair. 914 01:28:10,630 --> 01:28:13,463 Come on! Whoa! Stop it! 915 01:28:16,303 --> 01:28:19,101 This might be good luck for me.