{40}{112}(m)[Orchestra Tuning]
{252}{315}(m)[Tuning Continues]
{501}{558}[Tuning Stops]
{559}{631}[Audience Applauding]
{682}{749}(m)[Classical]
{3167}{3240}[Audience Cheering, Applauding]
{3376}{3439}- [Applause, Cheering Stop]|- [Tape Clicks]
{3528}{3603}[Woman]|Craig, honey, it's time for bed.
{3679}{3731}Craig, honey, time to get up.
{3733}{3783}Craig, honey, time to get up.
{3785}{3866}Craig, honey, time to get up.|Craig, honey, time to get up.
{3867}{3947}- Lotte.|- I'm sorry. I didn't know|Orrin Hatch was out of his cage.
{3949}{4021}- Come on. Morning, sweetheart.|- Morning.
{4022}{4074}What are you gonna do today?
{4076}{4143}- Working in the workshop.|- I was thinking.
{4145}{4213}Maybe you'd feel better|if you got a job.
{4216}{4262}We've been over this.
{4264}{4369}Nobody's looking for a puppeteer|in today's wintry economic climate.
{4371}{4477}I know, honey,|but I thought, you know...
{4479}{4563}maybe something else|until this puppet thing turns around.
{4565}{4635}Derek Mantini|doesn't need a day job.
{4637}{4723}Not everybody can be|Derek Mantini.
{4725}{4813}I gotta get to the shop. We have|a shipment of kitty litter coming in.
{4814}{4883}Will you do me a favor?|Will you take a look at Elijah today?
{4885}{4977}- He's not feeling very good again.|- Which one is Elijah again?
{5009}{5081}- The chimp, honey.|- Yeah, okay.
{5084}{5166}[Door Opens, Closes]
{5167}{5263}[Man On TV]On the lighter side of|the news, in Westchester County today...
{5265}{5366}puppeteer Derek Mantini|thrill edonlookers as he performed|The Belle of Amherst...
{5367}{5440}with a 60-foot|Emily Dickinson puppet.
{5479}{5533}How dreary to be somebody.
{5534}{5642}How public, like a frog,|to tell one's name the live long day.
{5644}{5713}[ Scoffs ]|Gimmicky bastard.
{5714}{5769}[Poetry Recitation Continues]
{5771}{5858}You don't know lucky you are,|being a monkey.
{5860}{5943}- Because consciousness...|- [Elijah Chitters ]
{5946}{6013}is a terrible curse.
{6015}{6103}I think, I feel...|I suffer.
{6157}{6276}And I'll ask in return|is the opportunity to do my work.
{6315}{6363}And they won't allow it...
{6365}{6441}- [Elijah Chitters ]|- because I raise issues.
{6480}{6551}(m)(m) [ Classical ]
{6688}{6755}[Woman On Tape] While we enjoy|the pleasures of an uneasy love...
{6757}{6817}and abandon ourselves|to fornication...
{6819}{6900}we were spared God's severity.
{6902}{6987}[Man On Tape]Say no more, I beg you,|and cease from complaints like these...
{6989}{7075}which are so far removed|from the true depths of love.
{7077}{7169}- (m)[Stereo: Woman Singing Opera]|- Look, a puppet show!
{7171}{7254}Okay, honey, just for a minute.|Mommy's waiting.
{7256}{7316}[Woman]Even during|the celebration of Mass...
{7317}{7376}when our prayers should be pure...
{7378}{7452}Lewd visions of these pleasures|take such a hold. ..
{7454}{7502}upon my unhappy soul...
{7504}{7588}that my thoughts are|on their very wantonness...
{7591}{7645}instead of my prayers.
{7647}{7707}(m)[Opera Continues In Background]
{7743}{7793}Sometimes my thoughts|are betrayed. ..
{7794}{7886}by the movement of my body.
{7888}{7968}[Man]l took my fill|of my wretched pleasures in you...
{7969}{8070}and this was|the sum total of my love.
{8228}{8282}(m)[Opera Continues]
{8789}{8853}You motherfucker!
{8854}{8902}[Birds Chirping]
{8904}{8954}[Shop Bell Rings]
{9016}{9087}Oh, Craig!
{9089}{9148}Honey, not again!
{9150}{9235}Why do you do this|to yourself, honey?
{9236}{9319}I'm a puppeteer.
{10983}{11030}[Elevator Bell Dings]
{11484}{11531}Seven and a half, right?
{11532}{11588}- Uh, yeah.|- I'll take you through it.
{11868}{11927}[Alarm Ringing]
{11980}{12073}- [Bell Dings, Alarm Continues]|- Seven and a half.
{12102}{12150}Thank you.
{12255}{12304}[Alarm Stops]
{12932}{13011}Welcome to Lestercorp.|How may we meet your filing needs?
{13013}{13067}No. Um... my name's|Craig Schwartz.
{13069}{13139}- I have an interview with Dr. Lester.|- Oh.
{13141}{13219}- Please have a seat, Mr.Juarez.|- Schwartz.
{13220}{13274}- Pardon?|- Schwartz.
{13275}{13379}I-I'm sorry. I have no idea|what you're saying to me right now.
{13381}{13463}- My name is Schwartz.|- My name is Warts?
{13584}{13631}[Intercom Beeps]
{13681}{13731}Mr.Juarez?
{13733}{13780}Oh. Yes?
{13783}{13841}- Chest?|- I said, "Yes?"
{13843}{13905}You suggest what?|I'm sorry...
{13908}{14003}I have no time for piddling suggestions|from mumbling job applicants.
{14005}{14043}Besides, Dr. Lester|will see you now.
{14043}{14072}Besides, Dr. Lester|will see you now.
{14128}{14173}Come in, Mr.Juarez.
{14174}{14223}[ Chuckles ]
{14225}{14322}- Actually, my name|is Craig Schwartz, Dr. Lester.|- Security!
{14324}{14392}No, sir, it's-- It's just|a little mix-up with your secretary.
{14393}{14469}My name is Craig Schwartz.|I tried to explain that to her.
{14471}{14517}She's not my secretary.
{14519}{14593}- She's what they call|an executive liaison.|- Ah.
{14595}{14657}And I am not banging her,|if that's what you're implying.
{14659}{14761}No, sir, not at all.|I think I must have simply misspoke.
{14946}{15046}Ah. Well, now,|tell me, Dr. Schwartz...
{15047}{15114}what do you feel|you can bring to Lestercorp?
{15115}{15196}Uh, well, sir,|I'm an excellent filer.
{15197}{15280}Are you? All right.|Let's see about that.
{15412}{15533}Tell me, which of these two letters|comes first? This one or this one?
{15601}{15666}The symbol on the left|is not a letter, sir.
{15667}{15716}Damn, you're good.|[ Chuckles ]
{15719}{15778}- I was trying to trick you.|- I see.
{15779}{15842}Well, then, put these in order.
{15870}{15917}Yes, sir.
{16005}{16066}Floris, get Guinness on the phone.|[Chuckles]
{16068}{16134}[Floris ] Yes, sir.|Genghis Khan Capone. Fine.
{16136}{16182}Damn fine woman-- Floris.
{16184}{16278}I don't know how she puts up with|this speech impediment of mine.
{16280}{16388}You don't have|a speech impediment, Dr. Lester.
{16391}{16481}Flattery will get you|everywhere, my boy.
{16483}{16536}I'm afraid have to trust|Floris on that one.
{16538}{16596}You see,|she's got her doctorate...
{16598}{16662}in speech impedimentology|from Case Western.
{16664}{16733}I apologize if you can't understand|a word I'm saying.
{16734}{16789}No, I understand perfectly.
{16791}{16851}Oh, it's very kind|of you to lie.
{16853}{16905}You see, I've been very lonely...
{16906}{16995}in my isolated tower|of indecipherable speech.
{17113}{17160}- [Slaps Knee]|- You got the job.
{17191}{17263}- Any questions?|- Well, just one.
{17266}{17328}Why are these ceilings so low?
{17330}{17432}Low overhead, my boy!|We pass the savings on to you.
{17434}{17518}But seriously,|that'll all be covered in orientation.
{17951}{17999}- [ Sighs ]|- (m)[TV: Theme Music]
{18002}{18225}(m)(m)
{18226}{18315}[ Man ] Welcome to|the seven and a half floor|of the Mertin Flemmer Building.
{18317}{18381}As you'll now be spending|your work day here, it is important...
{18383}{18453}that you learn a bit about the history|of this famous floor.
{18455}{18503}- Hello, Don.|- Hello, Wendy.
{18505}{18568}Don, I was wondering,|do you know why...
{18569}{18622}our workplace|has such low ceilings?
{18624}{18721}It's an interesting story.|Many years ago in the late 1 800s...
{18724}{18803}James Mertin, an I rish ship captain,|came to this town...
{18804}{18867}and decided to erect|an office building.
{18869}{18946}He called this building the|Mertin Flemmer Building after himself...
{18948}{19034}and someone else, who local legend|has it was named Flemmer.
{19036}{19118}Well, one day, old Captain Mertin|received an unexpected visitor.
{19120}{19208}- Captain Mertin?|- Aye. What want ye, girl child?
{19209}{19313}I'm not a child, but rather|an adult lady of miniature proportions.
{19315}{19389}I see. Well, if it's|charity you're after...
{19391}{19460}be gone with ye,|you foul demon!
{19461}{19508}I'm not asking for alms...
{19510}{19571}but, rather, the ear of a kind man|with a noble heart.
{19573}{19651}[Captain]|Well, speak then, if you must.
{19652}{19735}Captain Mertin, I'm afraid hat|the world was not built with me in mind.
{19738}{19825}Doorknobs are too high,|chairs are unwieldy...
{19826}{19878}and high-ceilinged rooms|mock my stature.
{19879}{19976}Why cannot there be a place for me|to work that's safe and comfortable?
{19977}{20066}[Captain]|Thy story has moved me like no other.
{20068}{20159}Therefore, I shall make ye--|[ Groans ] me wife.
{20160}{20227}And-- And I shall build|a floor for ye...
{20228}{20316}between the seventh and the eighth|in me own building...
{20319}{20404}so at least there'll be one place|on God's green earth...
{20407}{20492}where ye and your accursed kind|can live in peace.
{20532}{20600}So that's the story|of even and a half.
{20602}{20678}Since the rents are considerably lower,|this floor has been adopted...
{20680}{20773}by businesses which,|for one reason or another,|have been forced to cut corners.
{20774}{20841}After all, the overhead is low.
{20843}{20889}[ Both Laughing ]
{20891}{20944}(m)[Theme Music]
{21008}{21068}[Music Stops]
{21069}{21132}Moving story, huh?
{21180}{21254}Unfortunately, the story's bullshit.
{21336}{21397}Listen, I'm Craig Schwartz.|I'm just starting out at Lestercorp.
{21398}{21446}Where are you starting out?
{21479}{21533}[ Sighs ]
{21571}{21623}[Orrin Hatch]|Shut up! Shut up!
{21627}{21709}- Shut up! Shut up!|- [Neighbor Banging On Wall]|Hey, shut up!
{21711}{21771}- [Craig]Shut up! I'm sorry.|- I'm sorry, honey.
{21772}{21820}Sorry, honey.|[ Squawks ]
{21822}{21876}- Sorry, honey.|- [Banging On Wall]
{21878}{21931}- [Neighbor]Shut up!|- Sorry!
{21933}{21982}- Help! She's locking me in a cage.|- Isn't that cute?
{21984}{22073}- I just taught him that today.|- Yeah, that's adorable.
{22075}{22127}- [Bottle Clattering]|- [ Elijah Shrieks ]
{22129}{22199}- You want to do some dishes for me?|- Put that down.
{22201}{22263}Here, Elijah.|Here you go.
{22265}{22343}You know, I have an appointment|tomorrow with Elijah's shrink.
{22345}{22415}- Uh-huh.|- Yeah. I think we're finally|getting down to the bottom...
{22417}{22463}of this acid stomach,|aren't we?
{22465}{22532}- Come here.|- [ Elijah Shrieks ]
{22575}{22674}-Just get down from the--|- She thinks that it's|some sort of childhood trauma.
{22717}{22803}- Feelings of inadequacy|as a chimp, you know?|- Mm-hmm.
{22839}{22895}Careful.|Isn't that interesting?
{22897}{22986}- Mm-hmm.|- I find it really interesting.
{23017}{23098}[Elijah Chittering, Shrieking]
{23099}{23189}So, honey, have you thought any more|about us having a baby?
{23233}{23321}Uh... you know,|I think it's just so tough right now...
{23323}{23385}- economically and all...|- Mm-hmm.
{23387}{23497}that I think maybe we should just wait|and see if this job thing pays off.
{23529}{23598}- You know?|- Okay.
{23733}{23798}I was thinking about|what you were saying...
{23800}{23858}- about the orientation film|being bullshit.|- Yes?
{23860}{23926}I think maybe|you're on to something.
{23928}{24025}- And 50 other lines|to get into a girl's pants.|- [ Laughs ] No, no!
{24027}{24106}No, I was just talking about the--|you know, about the film.
{24108}{24180}Here's the thing.
{24181}{24296}If you ever got me, you wouldn't have|a clue what to do with me.
{24334}{24384}[ Chuckles ]
{24387}{24499}I wasn't-- I was talking about the film.|[ Chuckles Nervously, Sighs ]
{24589}{24692}Ooh, what magic those fingers could|work on the right cabinet, mmm.
{24694}{24760}Maybe you could alphabetize me.
{24761}{24808}And don't forget...
{24809}{24897}" I " comes before... " U."
{24934}{24983}Floris, I think you're very nice...
{25016}{25108}but the truth is that...|I'm in love with someone else.
{25110}{25193}I'm afraid I have no idea|what you're saying to me.
{25220}{25291}- You bastard.|- What?
{25293}{25351}Don't toy with Floris, Schwartz.
{25353}{25438}- Oh, no--|- If I was 80 years younger,|I'd box your ears.
{25439}{25517}I wasn't toying with her, sir.|I wouldn't--
{25518}{25613}- Pardon me. How old are you, sir?|- 1 05.
{25615}{25677}Carrot juice, and lots of it.
{25679}{25769}I swear, sometimes it's not worth it.|I piss orange.
{25771}{25827}And I have to piss sitting down...
{25828}{25891}Like a goddamn girly-girl,|every 1 5 minutes.
{25893}{25971}- Mm.|- But nobody wants to die.
{25974}{26059}Ah, to be a young man again,|eh, Schwartz? [ Laughs ]
{26062}{26150}Maybe then Floris|would care for me.
{26152}{26237}But the elderly have so much to offer,|sir. They're our link with history.
{26238}{26305}I don't wanna be|your goddamn link, damn ya.
{26306}{26397}I want to feel Floris's|naked thighs next to mine.
{26398}{26460}I want my body to inspire lust...
{26461}{26521}in that beautiful, complex woman.
{26523}{26594}I want her to shiver|with a spasm of ecstasy...
{26596}{26648}Schwartz, as I penetrate her wet--
{26649}{26737}Dr. Lester, while I'm flattered|you would share your feelings with me...
{26739}{26837}perhaps the workplace is not|the most suitable environment|for this type of discussion.
{26839}{26898}All right. You're right.|I'll tell you what.
{26899}{26985}Meet me after work today|at Jerry's Juiceteria on Lex...
{26986}{27059}and I'll spill|my goddamn guts for ya.
{27113}{27204}No, I won't be late, Lotte.|I just have to, you know...
{27205}{27276}Listen to Lester's sexual fantasies|and drink carrot juice for a while.
{27277}{27322}It's a job thing, really.
{27413}{27495}Yeah. So, I'll talk to you later, okay?|Yeah. You too.
{27496}{27559}Gotta go back to work.|Okay, bye.
{27602}{27687}Hi. Do you know that I don't even know|your name or where you work?
{27689}{27744}Yeah.
{27796}{27854}Um... okay, how about this?
{27856}{27957}If I can guess your name|in three tries, you have to come|have a drink with me tonight.
{27986}{28044}- [ Sighs ] Why not?|- [Elevator Bell Dings]
{28045}{28117}- [Elevator Alarm Ringing]|- Okay.
{28119}{28166}You look like a...
{28252}{28320}Bar--
{28322}{28395}Ru--
{28396}{28470}Bell-- Lu--
{28471}{28549}L-- Carol--
{28550}{28597}Ta-- Shar--
{28598}{28651}Susann--
{28653}{28760}Emm...ily--
{28761}{28829}Mar...lar--
{28830}{28905}Maax...ine--|M-M-M-- Maxine?
{28907}{28968}Yeah!|Who told you?
{28970}{29080}Nobody told me. That just came out.|Isn't that odd?
{29083}{29155}So where do you live|and stuff?
{29157}{29226}[ Sighs ]|I am dubious...
{29227}{29274}but I don't welsh.
{29275}{29362}Okay, meet me|at The Stuck Pig, 7:00.
{29364}{29424}If you're late, I walk.
{29426}{29473}Nubile. Blonde.
{29474}{29542}Wet with desire.|Me in leather.
{29544}{29586}A harness, if you like.
{29588}{29672}And all eyes, Craig,|are upon me as I speak.
{29673}{29720}" Ladies," I begin.
{29722}{29799}" I am the love god Eros."|They like that.
{29801}{29863}" I intoxicate you.
{29865}{29929}My spunk is, to you,|manna from heaven."
{29931}{30013}Dr. Lester, this is|all really fascinating and stuff...
{30015}{30085}but I gotta...|get back home to my wife.
{30087}{30150}- You have a wife. I'd like to meet her.|- Yes, sir.
{30152}{30211}Shall we say dinner Thursday?
{30213}{30273}You can come, too, if you like.|[Laughs]
{30274}{30352}Get that? That was a joke.|You hear what I said? You can come too.
{30353}{30400}- That was a good one.|- [ Laughs ]
{30401}{30454}- All right. Thank you.|- Yeah.
{30490}{30550}[Car Horn Honks]
{30552}{30616}[Men Speaking Japanese]
{30660}{30719}Maxine. Maxine.
{30720}{30776}- I made it, Maxine.|-Just.
{30778}{30824}Buy you a drink, Maxine?
{30826}{30891}Are you married?
{30925}{30978}- Yeah. But enough about me.|- Yeah.
{31033}{31114}- What'll you have?|- I'll have more|of the same, please, Barry.
{31115}{31185}And I'll have, uh,|a light beer or something.
{31187}{31239}[Barry] Hay.
{31293}{31352}So, uh...
{31355}{31438}I don't know--|I, uh-- I like you.
{31440}{31508}- I don't know what it is|about you. I just--|- My tits?
{31509}{31575}- No! No, no, no, no.|- No?
{31576}{31657}- It's your energy,|the way you carry yourself.|- You're not a fag, are you?
{31659}{31721}No. I am really|attracted to you.
{31722}{31794}" I am really attracted to you."|Christ, you are a fag.
{31796}{31862}- Well, we can share recipes|if you like, Darlene.|- No, wait!
{31864}{31945}- I love your tits. I wanna fuck 'em.|- Now we're gettin' somewhere.
{31947}{32039}- Not a chance.|- [ Men Laughing ]
{32041}{32101}So tell me about yourself, huh?
{32103}{32187}If you can get your mind|out of the gutter long enough, dog boy.
{32189}{32259}Well, I'm a puppeteer.
{32260}{32334}- I-- I've been--|- Check.
{32338}{32411}[Lock Rattling]
{32413}{32459}Hey.
{32487}{32547}- Hey.|- I'm sorry I'm so late.
{32549}{32647}I just-- Lester just wouldn't...|Let me get away.
{32649}{32735}Hi, Elijah. We're supposed to have|dinner with him on Thursday...
{32737}{32792}but I can get us out of it,|if you want.
{32793}{32880}He's like this insane old leech,|and it's kind of amusing...
{32881}{32980}- once you get past|how disgusting it actually is.|- Did you eat?
{32982}{33070}No. I'm not hungry. I'm sorry I didn't|call. It was just hard to get away.
{33072}{33138}- I was worried.|- I'm sorry.
{33196}{33271}- You know... [ Chuckles ]|- [Elijah Shrieking]
{33273}{33321}you wanted me to work.
{33322}{33387}[Bottle Cap Clatters Onto Floor]
{33389}{33468}- How was your evening?|- Well...
{33470}{33549}Tom-Tom's puncture wound|is infected.
{33550}{33617}- The ferret?|- The iguana.
{33618}{33669}Right.
{33670}{33718}So I just dressed the wound...
{33720}{33812}and I've just been feeding everyone|and putting everybody to bed.
{33813}{33919}- You want a beer?|- No. I think I'm going to go to bed.
{33921}{33991}Elijah's gonna sleep|with us tonight.
{33993}{34068}- I don't think he's feeling very well.|- Okay.
{34070}{34116}Hm.
{34118}{34212}Well, you know what? I'm gonna go|in my workshop for a little while.
{34214}{34311}- But I'll be in a little while.|- Okay.
{35290}{35385}[Craig] Tell me, Craig,|why do you love puppeteering?
{35387}{35443}[Sighs]
{35444}{35537}Well, Maxine,|I'm not sure exactly.
{35539}{35615}Perhaps it's the idea of becoming|someone else for a little while.
{35616}{35676}Being inside another skin...
{35678}{35763}thinking differently,|moving differently...
{35765}{35833}feeling differently.
{35834}{35902}Interesting, Craig.
{35904}{35969}Would you like|to be inside my skin...
{35970}{36065}think what I think,|feel what I feel?
{36120}{36197}More than anything, Maxine.
{36274}{36345}It's good in here, Craig.
{36347}{36423}It's better than|your wildest dreams.
{37081}{37144}You're not somebody|I could get interested in, Craig.
{37146}{37201}You play with dolls.
{37203}{37319}Puppets, Maxine. It's the idea|of being inside someone else's skin...
{37321}{37434}- and seeing what they see|and feeling what they feel.|- Yikes!
{37435}{37506}- It's just that, well--|Please let me explain.|- [Elevator Bell Dings]
{37507}{37577}- [Alarm Ringing]|- I've never done this before, but...
{37578}{37668}I feel something for you,|and I've never felt this way before...
{37669}{37774}you know, about anybody,|n-not even my wife.
{37776}{37904}And I just-- I really feel|that you and I belong together, Maxine.
{37906}{37954}- Oh!|- [Ringing Fades]
{38134}{38181}[ Sighs ]
{38550}{38596}Shit.
{39699}{39745}Hm.
{40520}{40614}- [Phone Ringing]|- [Man]See you later.|Hello. Mailroom.
{40702}{40778}Yeah. Yeah.|What's the file number?
{40780}{40881}- 3-2-3-6-4. Yep.|- [Phone Ringing]
{41672}{41738}[ Squishing Sound ]
{41740}{41787}[ Gasps ]
{41831}{41915}- [Wind Howling]|- Oh! [ Shouting ]
{42147}{42202}[Loud Crunching, Chewing]
{42425}{42497}[Slurps, Gulps]
{42644}{42691}[Footsteps]
{43709}{43810}Oh, you know what?|The puppeteer told me he loved me today.
{43812}{43896}I know, I can't think|of anything more pathetic.
{43898}{43947}[ Chuckling ]|I'm sorry.
{43990}{44043}Good afternoon, sir.
{44311}{44381}- The Broad Hurst Theater, please.|- [Door Closes]
{44534}{44618}Hey, say, uh...|ain't you that actor guy?
{44619}{44666}Yes.
{44667}{44741}John, uh-- What is, uh--|John, um, uh--
{44776}{44822}Uh, don't tell me.|Maplethorpe?
{44824}{44915}- Malkovich.|- Malkovich. Right, right. Okay.
{44916}{45022}- Yeah. I thought you were|all right in that one movie.|- Thankyou.
{45024}{45090}The one where you played|a jewel thief.
{45092}{45171}- I never played a jewel thief.|- No?
{45173}{45254}- Who am I thinkin' of?|- I don't know.
{45255}{45318}Just, uh--
{45320}{45384}No, no, I'm pretty sure it was you.
{45386}{45436}- The, uh-- 'Cause, uh--|- [Whooshing Sound]
{45529}{45589}- [Popping Sound]|- [ Grunts ]
{45687}{45735}[ Panting ]
{46302}{46393}Yeah. Absolutely, doll. Yeah.
{46394}{46504}I'm just about to close up.|Wanna meet at the Pig in 20 minutes?
{46506}{46571}Cool. Bye.
{46573}{46660}I'm splittin' for the day, puppet man.|Lock up for me, okay?
{46663}{46739}- Don't you wanna know|what happened to me?|- No.
{46740}{46826}- Please, this is important.|- Better be.
{46827}{46874}It is.
{47003}{47070}There's a tiny door|in my office, Maxine.
{47071}{47169}It's a portal,|and it takes you inside John Malkovich.
{47171}{47252}You see the world|through John Malkovich's eyes...
{47253}{47313}and then after about 15 minutes,|you're spit out...
{47315}{47368}into a ditch on the side|of the New Jersey Turnpike.
{47370}{47442}Sounds great!|Who the fuck is John Malkovich?
{47444}{47545}Oh, he's an actor. He's one of the great|American actors of the 20th century.
{47547}{47611}Oh, yeah?|What's he been in?
{47612}{47671}Lots of things.|That jewel thief movie, for example.
{47672}{47750}He's very well respected.|Anyway, the point is...
{47751}{47824}this is a very odd thing.
{47826}{47900}It's supernatural,|for lack of a better word.
{47901}{48004}I mean, it raises|all sorts of philosophical-type|questions, you know...
{48005}{48090}about the nature of self,|about the existence of a soul.
{48092}{48163}You know, am I me?|Is Malkovich Malkovich?
{48193}{48252}I had a piece of wood in my hand.
{48253}{48333}I don't have it anymore.|Where is it?
{48335}{48397}Did it disappear?|How could that be?
{48399}{48504}Is it still in Malkovich's head?|I don't know!
{48506}{48612}Do you see what a metaphysical|can of worms this portal is?
{48713}{48826}I don't see how I could go on living|my life the way I've lived it before.
{49048}{49106}[Phone Ringing]
{49227}{49319}- Yeah?|- So I've been thinking,|is this Malkovich fellow appealing?
{49321}{49400}Maxine! Yes, of course, Maxine.|He's a celebrity.
{49402}{49474}Good. We'll sell tickets.
{49476}{49548}- Tickets to Malkovich?|- Exactly.
{49549}{49624}Two hundred dollars a pop.
{49625}{49714}But, Maxine, there's something,|I don't know, like profound here.
{49716}{49807}I don't know if maybe|we should exploit it. You think?
{49808}{49911}I need you for this, Craigy.|You're my man on the inside.
{49913}{49986}You need me?|I'm your man?
{50029}{50107}- Sure, whatever.|- [Door Opens, Dog Barks]
{50109}{50167}- Hey, everybody, I'm home.|- [Elijah Chittering]
{50169}{50226}- Treats for everyone.|- [ Whispers ] Maxine?
{50227}{50334}- [ Maxine ] Yeah?|- We don't know|the significance of this thing.
{50336}{50419}- It might be dangerous to toy with?|- [ Lotte Chattering ]
{50421}{50509}Well, I'll protect you, doll face.
{50511}{50560}- Bye-bye.|- [Dog Barking]
{50562}{50632}[Line Clicks]
{50633}{50690}- Who was that?|- [Elijah Shrieking]
{50692}{50787}I'm going to be working a lot|of late nights with this partner...
{50788}{50883}because Lestercorp's open|during the day, so I'll be|working a lot of late nights.
{50884}{50962}But it's a good thing, 'cause it's gonna|get us out of the hole financially...
{50963}{51018}'cause we're gonna|turn it into a business.
{51019}{51078}But I don't understand.|There's not--
{51079}{51191}There's no such thing as a hole,|or a portal, into somebody's brain.
{51193}{51289}Yes, there is.|A brain, or soul or whatever.
{51290}{51379}I was inside John Malkovich lookin' out.
{51380}{51427}- Really?|- Yep.
{51428}{51476}- I wanna try it.|- Pardon me?
{51477}{51547}I want to be|John Malkovich, tomorrow.
{51550}{51623}That'd be perfect,|'cause then I can meet your partner.
{51626}{51726}The thing is, Lestercorp's open during|the day, so we can't go during the day.
{51728}{51802}But if you want to,|we can do it right now.
{51804}{51877}- Now? Right now?|- Tonight. Right now,|on the way to Lester's.
{52176}{52262}I'll meet you on the side of the road|by the New Jersey Turnpike.
{52403}{52450}I'm scared.
{52481}{52553}You don't have to do this, you know.
{52594}{52641}No.
{52642}{52700}No, l-l wanna go.
{52701}{52754}- You sure? Okay.|- Yeah.
{52929}{52976}[ Sighs ]
{53039}{53095}[Wind Howling]
{53133}{53183}(m)(m) [ Humming ]
{53237}{53287}[Lotte]It's wet.
{53325}{53373}Weird.
{53544}{53626}That's nice. Oh!|[Giggles]
{53628}{53674}Oh!|[Laughing]
{53676}{53720}Oh, mmm!
{53721}{53784}Oh! Mmm.
{53786}{53869}God. [Chuckles]|I feel sexy.
{53961}{54029}[Popping Sound]
{54031}{54078}Lotte, are you all right?
{54216}{54278}Craig! Craig,|I gotta go back!
{54279}{54325}- No!|- Maybe tomorrow.
{54327}{54427}- No! I gotta go back now!|- We'll talk about it later.
{54429}{54500}Wow!
{54501}{54576}Being inside did something to me.
{54577}{54638}I knew who I was.
{54744}{54835}It's like everything made sense.|I-l knew who I was.
{54837}{54907}But you weren't you.|You were John Malkovich.
{54909}{54980}God, I was.|I was, wasn't I ?
{55028}{55090}I was--
{55091}{55145}I was John Malkovich.
{55191}{55276}I was--|I was John fucking Malkovich!
{55359}{55430}- Take me back, Craig.|- We're late for Lester.
{55536}{55648}So tell me, Lotte,|can you understand a word I'm saying?
{55651}{55698}Oh, yes, Dr. Lester.|Absolutely.
{55700}{55779}You were just explaining|the nutritional value...
{55781}{55896}of ingesting minerals|through a colloidal form which|I couldn't agree more with.
{55897}{55951}Oh! Be still, my heart.
{56045}{56135}Dr. Lester, would you mind pointing|me in the direction of the restroom?
{56136}{56191}With the greatest pleasure, my dear.
{56192}{56269}You go up the grand escalier...
{56271}{56343}and once atop the stairs|you'll want to enter the, uh...
{56346}{56392}fifth door on my left.
{56394}{56488}- Watch the step down. It's sunken.|- Okay. Thankyou.
{57892}{57964}"Malkovich Physical Development. "
{58258}{58360}What do you think Lester's relationship| with John Malkovich is?
{58409}{58460}That portal's been boarded up forever.
{58461}{58584}I bet Lester's not even aware of it--|him-- the portal. Why?
{58585}{58637}No reason.|I was just thinking.
{58639}{58715}Do you think that it's kind of weird|that John Malkovich has a portal?
{58717}{58802}Do you think that it might have|some sort of significance, for example?
{58804}{58876}I don't know.|Why do you think that?
{58879}{58929}I don't even care.
{58931}{59002}I think it's kind of sexy|that John Malkovich has a portal.
{59003}{59067}Sort of like|it's like he's a vagina.
{59069}{59123}It's sort of vaginal,|like he has a--
{59125}{59195}he has a penis and a vagina.
{59197}{59252}It's sort of like...
{59253}{59308}Malkovich's feminine side.
{59356}{59405}I like that.
{59468}{59531}"Visit J.M. Inc.|Mertin Flemmer Building.
{59532}{59605}Nightly from 9:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m."
{59607}{59678}Sounds good.|Oblique but intriguing. Phone it in.
{59679}{59750}- Want me to phone it in?|- No.
{59751}{59798}[Door Opens]
{59801}{59851}- Lotte!|- Hi.
{59853}{59921}- I heard your voice.|- What are you doing here?
{59954}{60023}Is this your partner?|She's pretty.
{60025}{60132}I had to do the Malkovich ride again,|you know? Is this her?
{60133}{60188}- Hi. You're Craig 's wife?|- Yeah. Hi.
{60189}{60258}Lotte, Maxine.|Maxine, Lotte.
{60260}{60353}- Have you done Malkovich yet?|- Uh, hi. Yeah, I want to place an ad.
{60355}{60423}Okay.|"Ever want to be someone else?"
{60425}{60491}No, that's the ad,|but we can talk about you in a minute.
{60493}{60564}"Ever want to be someone else?
{60566}{60623}Now you can. Visit J.M. Inc. "
{60625}{60677}Inc. Mertin.
{60678}{60725}M-E-R-T-l-N.|Flemmer.
{60726}{60781}You should really be at work.
{60783}{60833}[ Sighs ]
{60835}{60944}I've been going over and over|my experience last night, Craig.
{60978}{61033}It was amazing.
{61035}{61081}I've decided--
{61123}{61173}that I'm a transsexual.
{61175}{61258}- I know it's the craziest thing, Craig!|- What, are you fuckin' nuts?
{61259}{61382}No. It's just that for the first time,|everything just felt right.
{61383}{61438}I've got to make sure.
{61440}{61506}But if the feeling is still there...
{61548}{61647}I'm going to talk to Dr. Feldman|about sexual reassignment surgery.
{61649}{61712}This is absurd!|Besides, Feldman is an allergist.
{61713}{61778}If you're going to do something,|do it right.
{61780}{61846}You get these half-assed ideas,|and then you do a half-assed job.
{61848}{61889}Just drop it.
{61891}{61979}It's just that I really, you know,|like Dr. Feldman. All right?
{61981}{62050}So I thought that|I would ask him his opinion.
{62051}{62110}Is there something|so terrible about that?
{62111}{62204}-Why do you always yell at me like this?|-Sweetie, I'm sorry.
{62206}{62292}It's just a phase. It's the thrill|of seeing through somebody else's eyes.
{62293}{62340}Okay? It'll pass.
{62341}{62429}Don't stand in the way|of my actualization as a man.
{62430}{62491}- [Phone Clicks Onto Cradle]|- Lethergo, Craig.
{62513}{62576}- Okay.|- I mean him.
{62577}{62638}Right now?
{62640}{62686}Uh-huh.
{62687}{62763}It's the middle of the day.|How am I going to get her past Lester?
{62765}{62835}- Yawn. Figure it out.|- Okay.
{62836}{62891}Let's go.|Come on.
{62893}{62934}- Bye.|- Bye.
{62936}{62993}[ Chuckles ]
{62994}{63045}[Door Closes]
{63088}{63140}[Touch Tone Dialing]
{63192}{63253}Davey, it's Max.
{63254}{63352}Listen, can you get me|John Malkovich's home phone?
{63356}{63424}" But what I had been through.
{63426}{63476}I am hungry as the winter.
{63478}{63591}I am sick, anxious, poor as a beggar.
{63592}{63657}Fate has tossed me hither and thither.
{63659}{63730}I have been everywhere.|Everywhere.
{63732}{63792}- [Lotte]So strong.|- But wherever I have been...
{63794}{63852}- every minute, day and night...|- I want that voice.
{63854}{63958}- my soul has been full|of mysterious anticipations.|- My soul has been full...
{63960}{64037}- of mysterious anticipation.|- I feel the approach of happiness.
{64039}{64107}Anya, I see it coming."
{64108}{64164}[Phone Ringing]
{64165}{64220}[ Clicks ]
{64222}{64299}- Yeah?|- [ Maxine ] Mr. John Malkovich?
{64302}{64365}- Yeah. Who's calling?|- [ Gasps ] Oh, my goodness!
{64367}{64431}You don't know me,|but I know you.
{64432}{64494}I'm a great admirer of yours.
{64496}{64554}How did you get this number?
{64556}{64620}Well... it's just that l--
{64622}{64670}I-- I dream about you.
{64672}{64776}And well, even speaking to you now|has gotten me sort of excited, you know?
{64777}{64860}[Lotte Chuckles] Wow, the way|this woman's talking to him.
{64861}{64932}Listen, I really don't|find this amusing.
{64933}{64992}- Don't call here anymore, okay?|- Well!
{64993}{65064}My nipples are at attention,|General Malkovich, sir.
{65066}{65126}[Lotte Giggles]|What, her nipples?
{65128}{65207}[Maxine]So, listen,|why don't we have dinner tonight?
{65208}{65259}Bernardo's? 8:00?
{65260}{65358}I really want to see you. I just loved|you in that jewel thief movie.
{65360}{65406}[ Line Clicks ]
{65408}{65469}[ Beeps ]
{65470}{65541}[Lotte] You're not gonna|meet her there? Come on!
{65542}{65609}- [ Rewinding ]|- Meet her. Meet her. Meet her there.
{65610}{65670}- Meet her there!|- [ Malkovich's Voice ]|"...as the winter.
{65672}{65782}I am sick, anxious, poor as a beggar.
{65784}{65867}- Meet her there!|- Fate has tossed me hit her and hit her.
{65868}{65939}I have been everywhere.|Everywhere.
{65940}{66022}But wherever I have been,|every minute, day and night...
{66023}{66083}- Meet her there. Meet her there.|- My soul has been full...
{66084}{66134}- Yes!|- of mysterious anticipations. "
{66273}{66381}- How was it?|- I have to go back at|8:00 exactly, tonight.
{66414}{66488}- Why?|- Don't crowd me, Craig.
{66722}{66802}- Excuse me. Are you John Malkovich?|- Yes, I am.
{66803}{66912}Wow. You really are great in that movie|where you play that retard.
{66914}{66964}Oh, Thankyou very much.
{66966}{67036}- I have a cousin who's a retard.|- Oh. Thankyou.
{67038}{67123}So, as you might imagine,|it means a lot to me...
{67125}{67185}to see retards...
{67186}{67265}portrayed on the silver screen|so compassionately.
{67266}{67342}Well, thank you very much.|I appreciate it.
{67344}{67390}Good night.
{67433}{67540}- [Lotte]Maxine? It's Maxine.|- Hi.
{67543}{67611}I'm so glad you decided to come.|I'm Maxine.
{67613}{67684}I'm John.|How do you do?
{67686}{67737}Good. [ Chuckles ]
{67797}{67861}I wasn't sure|I was going to come...
{67862}{67951}but I felt, uh, oddly compelled.
{67953}{68014}[Lotte]|You're so beautiful.
{68016}{68100}The way you're looking at me--|I mean, at him-- at us.
{68159}{68206}[ Laughs ]
{68208}{68305}[Lotte]I've never been|looked at like this by a woman before.
{68307}{68354}[Exhales]|I think I'm sweating.
{68355}{68416}I must say,|I was intrigued by your voice.
{68448}{68518}And the funny thing is, Mr. Malkovich...
{68520}{68612}my voice is probably|the least intriguing thing about me.
{68614}{68666}[Lotte Laughing]
{68668}{68718}[ Laughing ]
{68720}{68802}So, I mean-- So, how was it?|What was he doing?
{68804}{68865}He wasn't doing anything really.
{68867}{68936}He was just hanging|around his apartment.
{68938}{69033}I think he's probably just a really...|uh, lonely guy.
{69036}{69099}See, men can feel|unfulfilled, too, Lotte.
{69101}{69148}I'm glad you're coming|to realize that.
{69150}{69208}You shouldn't be so quick to assume|that switching bodies...
{69210}{69295}is gonna be the answer|to your problems.
{69297}{69355}You're right, Craig.|You're right.
{69418}{69488}You know what I was thinking?|I was thinking that maybe...
{69489}{69552}we should invite Maxine|over for dinner one night...
{69553}{69626}because you guys are partners|and I thought that might be|a really nice gesture.
{69628}{69714}- I think she'd like that. What?|- Maxine?
{69716}{69795}The thing is, there's been|some tension between us at work--
{69796}{69869}business stuff--|and I would hate to expose you to that.
{69872}{69921}[ Scoffs ]|It'll be okay.
{69923}{70035}I'll cook my lasagna,|we'll smoke a joint, and...
{70037}{70114}tensions will just melt away.
{70118}{70235}Now, when you say that I can be|somebody else, what do you mean exactly?
{70237}{70322}Well, we mean exactly that.
{70324}{70449}We can put you inside|someone else's body for 1 5 minutes.
{70452}{70532}Can I be anybody that I wanna be?
{70534}{70598}Well... you--
{70600}{70662}- Actually--|- You can be John Malkovich.
{70664}{70773}That's perfect! It's my second choice,|but it's wonderful.
{70775}{70827}It's--|[ Sobbing ]
{70875}{70947}I'm a fat man.|I am sad and fat--
{70949}{71010}Two hundred dollars?
{71012}{71081}Oh. Oh, uh, yes.
{71251}{71298}- [Door Opens, Wind Humming]|- Okay.
{71300}{71353}You gotta crawl in there.
{71355}{71401}Oh, my God.
{71403}{71449}[ Panting ]
{71600}{71671}Oh.
{71673}{71728}[Wind Howling]
{71813}{71918}No, that's what I'm saying. See, I don't|really need an extra bath mat.
{71920}{71993}So if I get the set,|would it be possible...
{71995}{72055}if I could just get maybe three...
{72057}{72128}extra hand towels--
{72129}{72197}uh, if I get the set--|instead of the bathmat?
{72199}{72267}- [Woman On Phone]|Yes, sir. Sure, we can do that.|- Great.
{72268}{72315}That sounds good.
{72316}{72383}And for the color, periwinkle?
{72384}{72448}[Woman]Oh, I'm sorry.|We 're out of stock in periwinkle.
{72450}{72508}Do you want to back order?
{72510}{72598}No. I'll, uh... go with the loden.
{72599}{72677}Would you like to order anything else?
{72679}{72804}What is the difference between|the foot-pampering looped cotton rug...
{72806}{72864}and the bath mat?
{72969}{73017}[Popping Sound]
{73131}{73221}[Laughing]
{73223}{73283}You're my friends.|Thankyou.
{73286}{73399}Did you know that|Eskimos have not one...
{73401}{73453}but...
{73454}{73527}49 words for snow?
{73529}{73600}- Mm.|- It's because they have so much of it.
{73707}{73776}[Laughing]|So much snow.
{73778}{73841}After dinner,|I'll show you my puppets.
{73843}{73889}Ah.
{73891}{73997}After dinner, I'll introduce you|to my chimp Elijah.
{73999}{74098}He has an ulcer right now|due to suppressed childhood trauma...
{74099}{74166}- but we're working through it.|- [ Chittering ]
{74221}{74271}[ Whispers ]|Psychotherapy.
{74273}{74323}Oh.
{74763}{74823}- This the bedroom?|- Yeah.
{74825}{74886}[ All Laughing ]
{74887}{74958}The thing is,|the way that I see it...
{74959}{75027}is, I think the world is divided...
{75029}{75147}into those who go after what they want|and then those who don't, right?
{75149}{75198}- Right.|- The passionate ones--
{75201}{75263}the ones who go after|what they want--
{75265}{75333}well, they may not get|what they want.
{75335}{75414}[Laughing]|But-- But...
{75416}{75464}at least they remain vital.
{75466}{75510}- Yeah.|- [Craig] Yeah.
{75511}{75622}So when they lie on their death beds,|they have, um... few regrets.
{75623}{75686}Right?
{75688}{75746}[ Spits, Laughs ]
{75796}{75872}And the ones who don't go|after what they want...
{75873}{75960}well... who gives a shit|about them, anyway?
{76016}{76121}- God! Craig!|- Lotte!
{76123}{76184}I don't find you attractive, hm?
{76186}{76262}And, Lotte...|I'm smitten with you.
{76264}{76347}[Chuckles]lam,|but only when you're in Malkovich.
{76348}{76423}When I looked into his eyes last night,|I could feel you peering out.
{76425}{76469}- Really?|- Yeah.
{76471}{76582}Behind the stubble and the too prominent|brow and the male-pattern baldness...
{76583}{76656}I sensed your feminine longing.
{76658}{76721}- And it just slew me. [ Laughs ]|- [ Laughs ]
{76723}{76775}Oh, my God!
{76777}{76829}Oh!
{76832}{76913}Only as John, sweetie.|Sorry.
{76964}{77041}Hey, thanks for|a wonderful dinner.
{77043}{77095}No hard feelings, partner?
{77205}{77285}(m)[Stereo: Rock]
{77417}{77463}[Wind Howling]
{77493}{77546}- [Phone Rings]|- J.M. Inc.
{77548}{77606}Hi. It's Lotte.
{77608}{77680}I'd like very much|to see you again.
{77682}{77758}Can you call him|and invite yourself over?
{77760}{77808}Um... when?
{77849}{77918}Mm... tonight...
{77919}{77966}after you close?
{77967}{78031}Okay, uh... 4:1 1 .
{78078}{78124}4:1 1 ?
{78126}{78206}- Thankyou, Maxine.|- You're welcome.
{78640}{78687}[Door Buzzer Buzzes]
{78898}{78968}Thanks so much|for having me over, sugarplum.
{78970}{79019}- I'm glad you called.|- [ Chuckles ]
{79021}{79074}Shall we to the boudoir?
{79152}{79213}A couple of minutes.|I'm early.
{79577}{79674}So do-- do you enjoy being...|an actor?
{79739}{79818}Sure. Yeah. It's--|It's very rewarding.
{79953}{80001}[ Sighs ]
{80236}{80283}Hi.
{80284}{80331}Hi.
{80388}{80435}Oh.
{80478}{80555}[Malkovich Sighing]
{80557}{80625}[Lotte Giggling]
{80661}{80721}Oh, my sweet Maxine.
{80723}{80788}- My darling.|- I love you, Lotte.
{80789}{80837}[ Sighs, Moans ]
{80937}{80990}Did you call me Lotte?
{81116}{81163}Do you mind?|[ Chuckles ]
{81221}{81287}- No, not really.|- Mm.
{81289}{81335}- Oh!|- [Lotte]Oh, God.
{81337}{81407}- My sweet... beautiful Lotte.|- Oh!
{81409}{81458}Oh, Maxine!
{81460}{81514}[ Malkovich ]|Yes, Maxine. Yes.
{81516}{81592}[Lotte Whispers ]|Maxine, this is-- this is so right.
{81593}{81657}- [ Malkovich Moaning ]|- Oh! Oh, God.
{81659}{81709}[ Maxine, Malkovich Moaning ]
{81758}{81839}- [Unzipping]|- [Lotte, Malkovich Moaning]
{81862}{81908}[Lotte, Malkovich] Yes!
{81910}{81964}- Wow!|- [ Malkovich Moaning ]
{82022}{82082}- [Malkovich Grunts]|- Yes!
{82084}{82136}[ Grunts, Sighs ]
{82756}{82843}- You were him, weren't you?|- Yeah.
{82844}{82889}And he was with her!
{82890}{82949}We love her, Craig.
{82950}{83010}- "We "?|-John and me.
{83012}{83099}- Don't forget about me!|- Well, you have|the Maxine action figure to play with!
{83101}{83140}[Elijah Chittering]
{83142}{83229}I'm sorry.|That was nasty.
{83347}{83407}[Door Slams]
{83920}{83978}You are late, my little cowboy.
{84050}{84132}Are you torturing me on purpose?
{84134}{84223}- I've fallen in love.|- I don't think so.
{84224}{84302}You know why?|Because I've fallen in love!
{84303}{84379}And this is what people|who have fallen in love look like.
{84380}{84500}Well, you picked the unrequited variety.|It's very bad for the skin.
{84578}{84634}You're evil, Maxine.
{84637}{84717}Do you have any idea what it's like|to have two people look at you...
{84718}{84769}with total lust and devotion...
{84772}{84830}through the same pair of eyes?
{84875}{84968}Wow.|No, I don't suppose you would.
{84970}{85026}It's quite a thrill, Craigy.|[ Clicks Tongue ]
{85154}{85200}[ Door Slams ]
{85294}{85354}[ Horn Honking ]
{85704}{85780}[Dog Barks, Elijah Whimpers ]
{85781}{85852}[Barking Continues]
{86043}{86090}[Dog Whining]
{86154}{86206}- Aaah! What are you doing?|- [Elijah Screeches]
{86208}{86274}Oh, my God! Is that real?|What is that?
{86277}{86374}Yes! I don't know how to use it very|well, so don't make any sudden moves!
{86377}{86423}- [Barking]|- [ Whimpering ]
{86458}{86512}I'm serious!|I'm serious.
{86513}{86560}Suck my dick!
{86561}{86608}[Elijah Screams]
{86610}{86692}Shut up, okay?|Just shut up.
{86694}{86752}[ Screams ]
{86754}{86800}[ Dial Tone ]
{86843}{86922}[ Whimpering, Screaming ]
{86970}{87038}[ Sobbing ]
{87040}{87098}- Craig!|- Tell her you need to see her.
{87100}{87157}- [ Ringing ]|- [ Maxine ] J.M. Inc.
{87159}{87232}Be all that someone else can be.
{87234}{87280}I need to see you.
{87282}{87328}Sweetie!
{87330}{87392}Oh, I had so much fun|with you last night.
{87393}{87487}Shoot.|But it's business hours.
{87488}{87572}[ Whispering ] Tell her what the hell,|close early, live dangerously.
{87574}{87620}Say it.
{87657}{87716}What the hell, you know?
{87718}{87768}[ Nervous Laugh ]
{87770}{87835}Live dangerously.|Close early.
{87838}{87884}Ooh, doll.
{87885}{87980}I love this new|devil-may-care side of you.
{87982}{88083}All righty. I'll track down loverboy|and see both of you in one hour.
{88084}{88144}Exactamundo.
{88146}{88192}[Hangs Up ]
{88224}{88275}[ Coughs ]|Craig!
{88277}{88323}[ Screams ]
{88325}{88380}What's the matter with you?|Stop it!
{88382}{88442}Sit up, okay?|Just sit up. Just sit up.
{88443}{88526}- [ Crying ]|-[Dog Barking, Elijah Shrieking]
{88580}{88640}[ Screaming ]
{88642}{88735}Help!|He's locking me in a cage!
{88737}{88806}- [Neighbor Banging On Wall]|- Shut up!
{88808}{88871}Shut up!
{88930}{88988}[ Elijah Whimpering ]
{89124}{89209}Was ever woman in this humor wooed?
{89211}{89290}Was ever woman in this humor won?
{89400}{89469}Tommy, can I take 1 5?
{89471}{89529}[ All Chattering ]
{89530}{89607}[Man]Goodnight, everybody.|See you back here at 9:00p.m. tomorrow.
{89769}{89816}- Oh!|- [ Grunting ]
{89817}{89912}Oh, Lotte.|Lotte, this is so good!
{89914}{89960}[ Grunting ]
{89962}{90037}[Craig]|My God! This is amazing.
{90039}{90119}- Lotte!|- I want to touch her breast.|Touch her breast.
{90121}{90179}Move right hand|across left breast now.
{90181}{90242}-Lotte!|-Move right hand across left breast now!
{90245}{90292}Move right hand|across left breast now.
{90294}{90358}- Holy shit, yes!|- [ Slurred Speech ] Holy shit, yes!
{90361}{90443}- Holy shit, he said what I said!|- Shit, he said what I said!
{90445}{90536}- Lotte? Is that you?|- Yes, yes, sweetheart.
{90537}{90613}Yes, sweetheart, yes.
{90615}{90707}What the fuck is going on?|That's not me! I didn't say that.
{90708}{90770}- Oh, Lotte.|- Oh, Maxine. Oh--
{90822}{90878}Something was making me talk.
{90879}{90951}Some goddamn thing|was making me move.
{90953}{91014}- I've gotta get out of here.|- Oh, doll face!
{91017}{91106}It was just, uh,|your passion for me taking hold.
{91109}{91216}No, doll face. I know what|my passion taking hold feels like.
{91218}{91249}Bye!
{91250}{91316}I did it!
{91317}{91435}I made him move his arms|across your girlfriend's glorious tit!
{91436}{91487}Oh, and. ..
{91489}{91536}I made him talk sort of.
{91538}{91619}It's just a matter of practice|before Malkovich...
{91620}{91715}is nothing more than another puppet|hanging next to my work table.
{91717}{91775}[ Muffled Whining ]
{91777}{91851}I'll tell you about it|when I get home, okay? All right?
{91854}{91936}[ Muffled ]|Craig! Craig! I wanna--
{91937}{92006}- [ Crying ]|- [Door Slams]
{92008}{92054}[Locks Latching]
{92169}{92224}No, man, I'm sorry to--
{92225}{92343}I'm sorry to have called you like that,|but I was just really, really scared.
{92345}{92391}I was so freaked out.
{92393}{92503}I mean, it was like... somebody was|just moving all the way through me...
{92505}{92579}moving my arms, moving my hands,|talking for me.
{92581}{92660}I mean, literally,|I feel like I'm going crazy, Charlie.
{92662}{92727}- I'm sure you're not going crazy.|- You don't understand, man.
{92729}{92803}- It was like nothing|I've ever felt before.|- Yeah, yada, yada, yada.
{92805}{92880}- Were you stoned?|- Yes. Yes, I was--
{92881}{92948}Jesus.
{92950}{93018}Yes! Yes, I was stoned.
{93020}{93084}But what-- That doesn't have|anything to do with it.
{93086}{93163}Charlie, someone was talking|through my mouth.
{93164}{93246}You were stoned.|Case closed. End of story.
{93273}{93346}- How hot is this babe?|- You know what?
{93347}{93418}Maybe it was this|Lotte woman talking...
{93420}{93483}because it could have been her|talking through me.
{93485}{93544}Because this--|the weird thing is...
{93545}{93621}this Maxine likes|to call me Lotte.
{93622}{93694}Ouch. That is hot.
{93696}{93788}Maybe she's using you|to channel some dead, lesbian lover.
{93790}{93856}Sounds like my kind of gal. Let me know|when you're done with her, yeah?
{93858}{93927}What are you talking about? Done with|her, man? Tonight really freaked me out.
{93929}{94035}You're nuts to let a girl go|that calls you Lotte.|I'll tell you that as a friend.
{94036}{94106}Charlie, I don't know|anything about the girl.
{94107}{94200}- She could be, like,|a fucking witch or something.|- That's even better!
{94202}{94278}Hot, lesbian witches.|Think about it. It's fucking genius.
{94342}{94416}I gotta know the truth, Charlie.
{94418}{94488}The truth is for suckers, Johnny boy.
{94985}{95034}[ Whistles ]
{95426}{95490}[Horn Honks]
{95491}{95542}[Bell Dings, Alarm Ringing]
{95543}{95592}Thanks.
{95594}{95640}This way.
{95928}{95974}[Bell Dinging]
{95976}{96043}[Alarm Stops]
{96749}{96835}Excuse me, sir.|Exactly what, uh, type of service...
{96837}{96886}does this company provide?
{96888}{96961}You get to be John Malkovich|for 1 5 minutes.
{96963}{97009}Two hundred clams.
{97067}{97115}I see.
{97117}{97177}- No cutting, by the way. No cutting!|- Hey, what the hell?
{97179}{97232}[ Angry Shouting ]
{97234}{97309}Ah! Ow!
{97310}{97400}Come on! Break it up!|Break it up! Cut it out!
{97402}{97472}- Everybody gets--|-[Man]It's him. It's John Malkovich.
{97473}{97529}I'm sorry, Mr. Malkovich.|I hope we didn't hurt you too terribly.
{97531}{97577}Get inside!
{97617}{97681}- Darling!|- What the fuck is going on?
{97683}{97741}- [Craig]Uh, uh, John Malkovich.|- Huh?
{97743}{97797}Mr. Malkovich, sir.|Uh, um--
{97859}{97941}- Mr. Malkovich, I think I can explain.|- Yeah, explain.
{97943}{98005}My name is Craig Schwartz...
{98007}{98057}and we operate|a little business here...
{98058}{98154}that simulates, for our clientele,|well, the--
{98155}{98209}the experience of--
{98210}{98275}of-- of being you, actually.
{98277}{98349}- Simulates?|- Yeah, after a fashion.
{98352}{98433}- What exactly does that mean?|- Well, it's hard to describe.
{98435}{98524}- I want to do it then.|- That would pale in comparison|to the actual experience.
{98525}{98608}- I want to do it!|- Right now Mr. Hiroshi's in the tube--
{98610}{98665}- Let him do it, Craig.|- Of course.
{98667}{98735}Right this way, Mr. Malkovich,|compliments of the house.
{98937}{98985}[ Whispers ]|Jesus.
{99333}{99420}What happens when a man|goes through his own portal?
{99456}{99508}We'll see.
{99632}{99678}[ Panting ]
{99750}{99801}[ Gasps, Whimpers ]
{99936}{100019}[ Gasps, Screams ]
{100057}{100116}[People Chattering]
{100140}{100198}(m)[Piano]
{100234}{100298}Malkovich.
{100299}{100354}Malkovich, Malkovich.
{100356}{100425}Malkovich, Malkovich.
{100427}{100486}Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich?
{100488}{100567}- Malkovich, Malkovich.|- Malkovich?
{100783}{100839}- Malkovich!|- Malkovich.
{100904}{100972}Malkovich.
{100974}{101051}Malkovich.|[ Laughs ]|Malkovich.
{101131}{101246}- Malkovich!|- Malkovich, Malkovich
{101248}{101349}- (m) Malkovich, Malkovich (m)|- Malkovich.
{101350}{101406}- Malkovich.|- (m) Malkovich, Malkovich
{101408}{101456}- Malkovich!|- Malkovich.
{101457}{101533}(m) Malkovich, Malkovich
{101562}{101631}- Malkovich!|- (m) Malkovich, Malkovich
{101633}{101726}- (m) Malkovich, Malkovich|- Malkovich!
{101728}{101796}[ Grunting ]
{101827}{101892}[ Yelling ]
{101894}{101960}- How was it?|- It was amazing this time.
{101963}{102039}- That was no simulation!|- I know. I'm sorry.
{102041}{102085}It's such an honor.
{102086}{102181}I have been to the dark side. I have|seen a world that no man should see!
{102182}{102262}Really? For most people,|it's a rather pleasant experience.
{102264}{102355}That portal is mine,|and it must be sealed forever...
{102357}{102427}for the love of God.
{102429}{102519}But, Mr. Malkovich, sir,|with all due respect...
{102520}{102567}I discovered that portal.
{102568}{102682}- It's my livelihood. Do you understand?|- It's my head, Schwartz!
{102683}{102755}It's my head!
{102757}{102850}I will see you in court!
{102852}{102929}What makes you think I won't be seeing|what you're seeing...
{102930}{102977}in court?
{102978}{103033}Hey, Malkovich, think fast!
{103034}{103085}[ High-pitched Squeal ]
{103086}{103133}Fuck!
{103135}{103198}Dinner.
{103200}{103286}[Lotte] You know, Craig,|once this was a relationship...
{103288}{103338}built on love.
{103340}{103398}Well, you gave up that claim...
{103400}{103470}after the first time|you stuck your dick in Maxine, Lotte.
{103471}{103539}You fell in love|with her first, Craig.
{103540}{103639}Yeah, but I didn't do anything about it,|out of respect for our marriage.
{103641}{103718}You didn't do anything|about it, Craig...
{103719}{103795}out of respect for the fact|that she wouldn't let you|near her with a ten-foot pole!
{103993}{104040}That's true.
{104135}{104193}God, Lotte, what have I become?
{104247}{104303}My wife in a cage with a monkey.
{104305}{104357}Craig.
{104359}{104423}I need to go to the bathroom|and take a shower.
{104591}{104685}What am l, some kind of monster?
{104687}{104767}I don't want to be a monster, Lotte.|I don't want to.
{104769}{104833}Craig, you're not a monster. No.
{104835}{104892}I know you're not a monster, honey.
{104893}{104947}You're just--|You're just...
{104948}{105052}a very, very confused man.
{105108}{105163}I love you so much.
{105247}{105294}I love you.
{105488}{105557}- [Phone Dial Tone, Dialing]|- Come on, Craig.
{105621}{105712}[ Ringing ]
{105753}{105828}-J.M. Inc.|- [ Lotte ] Maxine?
{105829}{105879}Lotte.
{105881}{105945}I've been thinking about us, you know?|And, uh--
{105947}{106011}- We have to meet.|- Um, okay.
{106014}{106066}I'll see you in Malkovich|in one hour.
{106068}{106142}[ Muffled ] Craig!
{106144}{106215}[ Moans ]|I hate you.
{106416}{106502}[ Whimpering ]
{106504}{106550}[Crying]
{106602}{106673}[Chimp Screeching]
{106675}{106730}[Man Shouting]
{106731}{106798}[Screeching Continues, Men Shouting]
{106987}{107034}[Shouting Continues]
{107035}{107081}[ Screeching ]
{107447}{107515}[ Shouting ]
{107874}{107921}[ Excited Squeal ]
{108134}{108182}Oh, Elijah!
{108184}{108232}You really are magnificent.
{108234}{108308}[Phone Ringing]
{108334}{108381}-J.M. Inc.|- [ Lotte ] Maxine!
{108383}{108466}Honey pie! I was just heading out|the door to meet you.
{108468}{108548}No, listen, Maxine. It hasn't been me|in Malkovich the last time.
{108550}{108596}It's been that|son of a bitch Craig.
{108598}{108663}He's had me locked in the cage|with my chimp, holding a gun to my head.
{108665}{108711}- Oh, my God!|- He made me call you.
{108713}{108766}I'm sorry, Maxine.|It's been him the whole time.
{108768}{108814}I'm so sorry.|That's horrible.
{108816}{108876}I miss you so much, Maxine.
{108877}{108927}So-- But--
{108928}{109024}- Okay, that was Craig|inside of Malkovich?|- Yes, it was him.
{109026}{109080}It's because he's|a puppeteer, I think.
{109082}{109144}Well, boy, I'm-- Uh--
{109147}{109204}I'm surprised.|That's pretty impressive.
{109206}{109306}- What?|- So if Craig can control Malkovich...
{109307}{109375}- and I can control Craig--|- But, Maxine...
{109377}{109455}I thought it was me|that you loved!
{109457}{109503}I do.
{109505}{109559}[ Lotte Panting ]
{109597}{109710}It's confusing, you know?|This is a very confusing situation.
{109712}{109758}I know.
{109826}{109913}- Listen, I should really|get going, okay?|- [Thunder Rumbling]
{109915}{109975}- 'Cause I'm gonna be|late for Malkovich now.|- No.
{109977}{110061}- What?|- We'll talk about this later, Lotte.
{110063}{110151}- Maxine! Wait! Maxine!|- Okay?
{110153}{110202}[ Hangs Up ]
{110203}{110271}[ Screeching ]
{110453}{110510}[ Siren Wailing ]
{110512}{110582}[Thunder Rumbling]
{110669}{110764}[Siren Wails In Distance]
{110766}{110872}- [Siren Grows Louder]|- [Door Buzzer Buzzing]
{110874}{110967}- [ Buzzing Continues ]|- What the fuck do you want?
{110994}{111058}I can explain|about the portal, darling.
{111134}{111197}Listen, don't con me, Maxine.
{111198}{111252}I don't know|who the hell you people are...
{111254}{111314}but this insanity is now over.
{111316}{111376}Oh, shut up.
{111377}{111442}Craigy. Craig.
{111443}{111496}Schwartzy, are you in there?
{111498}{111575}[ Loud Grunting ]
{111611}{111672}[ Strained Voice ]|How did you know it was me?
{111674}{111747}Lotte called me.|She escaped your evil clutches.
{111794}{111858}Really? Well, I'm really sorry|I did that, Maxine...
{111860}{111961}but I'm really in love with you, and|I didn't know how else to be with you.
{111962}{112029}Hmm.
{112030}{112096}Apparently you can control|this Malkovich fellow now?
{112098}{112148}Yes, I'm getting better all the time.
{112150}{112200}I'll say you are.
{112202}{112291}Hey, let's do it|on his dining room table.
{112292}{112372}- Then we'll make him|eat an omelet off of it.|- No!
{112374}{112453}- Shut up, you overrated sack of shit!|- [ Laughs ]
{112491}{112542}Craigy.
{112848}{112905}[ Rings ]
{113117}{113163}Yes?
{113165}{113213}Hi, Dr. Lester.
{113215}{113314}It's Lotte Schwartz,|Craig's wife.
{113316}{113363}Oh! Yes.
{113365}{113428}Oh, my God.|You'll catch your death out here.
{113430}{113519}Look at you. You're soaking wet.|Please come in, come in.
{113557}{113604}[Thunder Continues]
{113656}{113720}[ Chuckles ]|Here you are, my dear.
{113721}{113768}Thankyou.
{113769}{113816}[ Laughs ]|How's that?
{113817}{113883}Much better, thank you.
{113885}{113936}So, my dear...
{113938}{114034}what is it that brings you to my doorway|on such an inhospitable evening?
{114035}{114089}Well, Dr. Lester...
{114091}{114157}see, l, uh--
{114159}{114243}I have a very unhealthy obsession|with John Malkovich.
{114285}{114332}I see.
{114333}{114385}You mean, the performer.
{114386}{114453}Yes.
{114455}{114540}And what prompted you|to come to me with this issue?
{114541}{114609}Well, when I was here|with my husband for dinner...
{114650}{114747}I came upon a room that seemed to be|some sort of John Malkovich museum.
{114775}{114835}So I thought perhaps|maybe you would. ..
{114838}{114918}have some appreciation|for my state of mind.
{114978}{115030}You look so lovely, my dear...
{115031}{115077}standing here before the fire...
{115079}{115157}in my oversized man's robe.
{115185}{115232}Thankyou, Dr. Lester.
{115286}{115343}Tell me...
{115344}{115441}what is this strange power|that Malkovich exudes?
{115443}{115552}You've gotta help me understand because|all I think about is wanting to be him.
{115598}{115673}- Wanting to what?|- Wanting to be him.
{115675}{115750}Wanting to be John Malkovich.
{115752}{115799}Oh, I see.
{115833}{115904}Well, perhaps you can.
{115905}{115966}But, Dr. Lester--
{115968}{116038}I am not Dr. Lester.
{116040}{116086}I am Captain Mertin.
{116125}{116172}I don't understand.
{116173}{116275}It was 90 years ago|that I discovered a strange portal.
{116277}{116397}And--And I found that|this portalled to a vessel body...
{116399}{116513}and that I could live forever|by leaping from vessel to vessel.
{116564}{116647}- So Dr. Lester is such a vessel?|- Yes, he is.
{116688}{116742}You still there, sweets?
{116744}{116790}Hmm.
{116848}{116928}I figured out how to hang on|as long as I want.
{116929}{117008}It's all a matter of making friends|with the Malkovich body.
{117009}{117115}Rather than thinking of it|as an enemy that has to be|pounded into submission...
{117117}{117199}I've begun imagining it|as a really expensive suit...
{117201}{117275}that I enjoy wearing.
{117378}{117425}[Kissing Continues]
{117426}{117484}Ah, this illustrates...
{117485}{117572}how I will move into|my next vessel, Malkovich...
{117573}{117609}on his 44th birthday.
{117611}{117666}That's when he becomes ripe.
{117668}{117737}But I must enter|by midnight on that day.
{117739}{117853}After that, I'd get diverted into|the next newly forming infant vessel.
{117855}{117901}I don't want that to happen.
{117903}{117994}- I'd be absorbed.|- Absorbed? What does that mean?
{117995}{118101}Well, uh, trapped, held prisoner,|if you like, in the host's brain...
{118102}{118158}unable to control anything...
{118159}{118246}for ever doomed to watch the world|through someone else's eyes.
{118302}{118349}Now I'd like you|to meet some friends.
{118350}{118418}See, I got lonely|in Lester by myself...
{118420}{118503}so I figured out a way this time|to take others along with me.
{118504}{118564}Come.
{118565}{118637}[People Chattering]
{118667}{118722}Everyone, this is Lotte.
{118723}{118812}- Hi, Lotte!|- She's a new friend of mine.
{118930}{119016}Do a puppet show for me, Craig, honey.
{119018}{119065}You mean, with Malkovich?
{119097}{119152}- I'd love to see your work.|- Really?
{119153}{119200}- Uh-huh.|- Yeah?
{119239}{119285}Okay.
{119486}{119546}This is something|that I call...
{119547}{119649}"Craig's Dance of Despair|and Disillusionment."
{119746}{119825}(m)[Stereo: Orchestra]
{120205}{120263}(m)[Continues]
{121803}{121859}(m)[Ends ]
{121861}{121958}That was incredible!|You're-- You're brilliant!
{121959}{122064}You see, Maxine,|it isn't just playing with dolls.
{122066}{122126}Oh, my darling,|it's so much more!
{122127}{122200}It's playing with people.
{122202}{122265}[ Chuckles, Moans ]
{122302}{122349}Stay in him forever.
{122350}{122423}[ Gurgling, Grunting ]
{122425}{122533}My darling, how will we make|a living if our clientele|doesn't have access to our product?
{122535}{122637}Well, we'll have all the money|in Malkovich's bank account...
{122639}{122699}plus he does get|acting work occasionally.
{122701}{122751}[ Grunting ]|No, please!
{122752}{122824}- Shut up! We're trying to think here.|- Gee!
{122870}{122976}It is--|It is sort of like puppeteering.
{122978}{123072}- I-l-l like that about it.|- Exactly!
{123073}{123209}And no one would ever even|have to know it's not him.
{123247}{123309}And I could use|Malkovich's existing notoriety...
{123311}{123365}to launch my own puppeteering career.
{123391}{123452}Oh, Craigy.|Craigy, that's brilliant.
{123454}{123500}Oh. Oh.
{123502}{123558}So lovely. I've always wondered|what it would be like to have a penis.
{123558}{123585}So lovely. I've always wondered|what it would be like to have a penis.
{123587}{123639}- Now I'll know.|- [Lotte]Really? I know it's very--
{123641}{123726}Lotte?|We like you.
{123728}{123808}We can see you're a kind|and decent woman...
{123810}{123856}and so...
{123857}{123954}we've decided to offer you|a place in John Malkovich with us...
{123956}{124002}if you like.
{124120}{124176}Dr. Lester...
{124177}{124235}you've been so kind to me...
{124237}{124283}and trusting.
{124285}{124336}And...
{124338}{124444}there's just something I think you|should know about the Malkovich vessel.
{124446}{124499}[ Woman On Speaker ] John's here|to see you. Should I send him in?
{124502}{124597}Of course send him right in. Don't ever|keep him waiting again, you understand?
{124599}{124656}- [ Angry Muttering ]|- [Door Opens]
{124657}{124725}[ Clears Throat ]|Hey, John.
{124727}{124805}Great to see you.|Sorry about the cunt at reception.
{124807}{124904}- This is my fiancée, Maxine.|- Oh, great to see you, Maxine.
{124905}{125004}Sorry about the cunt at reception.|Please, have a seat.
{125077}{125175}Can I get you anything?|Coffee? Water?
{125177}{125226}No, thank you.
{125227}{125284}- Teresa, get me chicken soup.|- Okay.
{125286}{125365}Chicken soup?|Chicken soup?
{125482}{125578}Larry? Uh...|I want to get right to the point.
{125580}{125674}From now on, I'm no longer an actor.|I'm a puppeteer.
{125676}{125734}Okay. Great.
{125850}{125927}And I would like|to redirect my career...
{125929}{126000}so that from now on|the name John Malkovich...
{126002}{126081}will be synonymous with puppets.
{126082}{126152}Sure. Sure.|No problemo.
{126154}{126248}Poof, you're a puppeteer.|Just let me make a couple calls.
{126537}{126596}[Laughing Continues]
{126798}{126891}Honey? Maxine?
{126893}{126946}Maxine?
{126948}{126994}I'm busy.
{127047}{127136}Maxine, honey, it's on!
{127137}{127232}(m)(m) [ Dramatic ]
{127304}{127364}Yeah, there's the truth,|and there are lies...
{127366}{127448}and, uh, art always tells the truth,|even when it's lying.
{127450}{127514}[Male Narrator]|The enigmatic John Malkovich...
{127515}{127595}one of the world's greatest entertainers|and the man who reinvented. ..
{127597}{127643}how we view puppeteering.
{127645}{127706}Tonight we look at the man|above the strings...
{127708}{127761}and the woman behind the man.
{127763}{127881}Raised in Evanston, Illinois,|Malkovich had a lifelong interest|in theater arts...
{127884}{127943}and as a young man was|one of the founding members...
{127945}{128044}of Chicago's world-renowned|Steppenwolf Theatre Company.
{128046}{128122}From there, it was a simple hop, skip|and jump to Broadway accolades...
{128124}{128170}and Hollywood stardom.
{128172}{128273}But nothing could prepare the public|for what was to come next.
{128275}{128340}And so it was that just|eight short months ago...
{128342}{128418}John Malkovich dropped the bombshell|that sent shock waves...
{128419}{128488}through the entertainment community.
{128490}{128573}Turning his back on his|former profession,|Malkovich had to start from scratch...
{128575}{128661}and pay his dues allover again|as a fledgling puppeteer.
{128663}{128741}[ Clears Throat ] Hello, ladies|and gentlemen, I'm John Malkovich.
{128743}{128812}It's-- It's the-- I miss--
{128813}{128873}I'm really John Malkovich.|[ Giggling ]
{128875}{128933}[Narrator]|From these inauspicious beginnings...
{128935}{129027}John Malkovich's rise|to stardom was fast and furious.
{129028}{129114}His breakout performance occurred|at this year's Emmy Awards--
{129115}{129171}- [Narration Continues]|- It's really good!|I look really amazing.
{129173}{129219}I'd fuck me.
{129221}{129274}If there's anything|that upsets me about it...
{129276}{129341}it's feeling like|if move into it too quickly...
{129343}{129404}I'll be, you know, deemed an imitator.
{129406}{129477}But, um, I think that once|we all get the courage...
{129478}{129551}to just follow through on|our instincts, like Malkovich has...
{129553}{129619}I think that, uh, a lot of us|will move into puppetry.
{129620}{129721}[Narrator]Malkovich's rise to fame|brought about a renaissance|in puppeteering.
{129723}{129792}No, no, no. What are you doing?|What are you doing?
{129793}{129887}- I'm making him weep, John.|- You're making him weep,|but you are not weeping.
{129888}{129943}Don't ever-- [ Beep ]|with your audience.
{129944}{130018}Until the-- the puppet becomes...
{130019}{130101}an extension of you, it's a novelty act.
{130103}{130151}It's, uh--|It's Topo Gigio.
{130154}{130191}No?
{130252}{130319}[Man]|He's a technical genius.
{130321}{130374}He breathes life|into inanimate objects.
{130376}{130440}It's a very godlike thing...
{130442}{130540}to be able to take something and,|you know, make it live.
{130541}{130597}[Narrator]|He was the talk of the town...
{130599}{130674}from the Beltway to Broadway...
{130675}{130765}aided in no small part by|his new wife and manager, Maxine Lund.
{130767}{130854}In Maxine,|Malkovich had found his mentor...
{130855}{130918}his muse, his inspiration.
{130921}{131024}In Malkovich,|Maxine had found the love of her life.
{131025}{131133}- [ Panting ]|- There, there, my dear. Relax.
{131135}{131217}This travesty will|all be over with by morning.
{131219}{131285}And the crowds have been|absolutely sensational...
{131287}{131369}and, um, I'd just like to thank God|for giving us this opportunity...
{131371}{131417}to share our creative vision.
{131419}{131505}[Narrator]Nothing was impossible|for John and Maxine in the early days.
{131507}{131593}Their union was a joyous one,|and together they worked tirelessly...
{131595}{131654}to further Malkovich's|puppeteering career.
{131655}{131709}John Malkovich, the artist...
{131711}{131770}and Maxine, the entrepreneur--
{131773}{131822}they make this character...
{131825}{131909}this protean figure|that we cal John Malkovich.
{131911}{132003}[Narrator]But some say Maxine|has changed since becoming pregnant...
{132005}{132061}recoiling from the limelight...
{132063}{132130}and, rumor has it,|from her husband's affections.
{132347}{132411}[ Whispering ]|I'm so sorry.
{132531}{132602}[Bing]Malkovich shows us...
{132603}{132693}a reflection of ourselves,|our frailties...
{132695}{132826}and our, you know,|desperate humanity.
{132828}{132942}That's what makes him one of|the most relevant artists of our time.
{132944}{133033}[Narrator]And what does the future|hold for John Horatio Malkovich?
{133035}{133145}Well, to quote the Bard,|"He's got the world on a string. "
{133147}{133267}As the poet said, "The puppeteer's voice|need not merely be the record of man.
{133269}{133329}It can be one of the pillars,|the props...
{133331}{133414}to help him endure and prevail,"|and I believe that.
{133441}{133487}It's over!
{133533}{133581}Max?
{133582}{133649}I've gotta head down to A.B.T. now.
{133651}{133729}I've got the "Swan Lake"|benefit tonight, okay?
{133731}{133795}But when I come back,|we can maybe celebrate...
{133796}{133885}Malkovich's big four-four.
{133887}{133951}Okay? Jesus!
{133953}{134024}Why couldn't I have found|the portal to a younger body?
{134026}{134118}What if l--|What if I fall tonight and break my hip?
{134284}{134354}(m)[Classical]
{134488}{134538}(m)[Continues]
{135326}{135397}Like that, little girl?
{135399}{135445}Huh, lamb?
{135502}{135548}I love you.
{136052}{136108}[Applause]
{136355}{136407}[Man]Bravo!
{136517}{136578}[Phone Ringing]
{136579}{136640}Maxine?
{136641}{136726}[Ringing Continues]
{136785}{136832}Ma--
{136894}{136944}[Ringing Continues]
{137076}{137130}Hello? Hello?
{137132}{137191}- [ Lester ] We have Maxine.|- Oh! My God.
{137194}{137248}Please, please,|don't hurt her.
{137250}{137330}Listen, I'll-- I'll give you|anything you want. Please.
{137332}{137402}You listen to me, asshole.|I don't want your fucking money.
{137404}{137494}What I want is for you|to leave John Malkovich now!
{137496}{137570}- Who-- Who is this, Lester?|- Does it matter?
{137572}{137651}We're gonna kill Maxine|if you don't leave the body immediately!
{137652}{137711}But l-l-l can't do that.
{137712}{137806}I mean, if-if I leave Malkovich,|then I'm Craig Schwartz again.
{137808}{137879}No career, no money.|Maxine will have nothing to do--
{137880}{137937}She barely has anything|to do with me now.
{137939}{138034}Jesus, we're going to kill your wife,|you fucking lunatic!
{138036}{138083}[ Moans ] God.
{138085}{138161}Listen, Schwartz,|Malkovich is our vessel. We're old.
{138162}{138237}We're going to die|if we don't get into him by midni--
{138458}{138518}[Dial Tone Buzzing]
{138610}{138698}- He called our bluff.|- [People Gasping]
{138700}{138755}Shit!
{138757}{138838}Can't we just go inside the portal|and push Craig out?
{138839}{138886}No, he's much too powerful.
{138887}{138989}Schwartz would just jam us down|into Malkovich's subconscious.
{139555}{139607}Lotte.
{139659}{139739}If I can't have you, no one will.
{139741}{139806}[Gun Cocks]
{139808}{139875}-[Lester]Lotte, no!|-[Gunshot]
{139877}{139949}No, Lotte!|God, no, we can't really kill her!
{139950}{140044}She's carrying Malkovich's seed!|Our next vessel!
{140076}{140123}[ Grunts, Shouts ]
{140224}{140283}Hey! Help me!
{140311}{140369}Help me!
{140371}{140450}- Where the fuck am l?|- We 're in Malkovich's subconscious.
{140452}{140531}The last thing|you'll ever see, Maxine.
{140533}{140587}- [Gunshot]|- [ Glass Shattering ]
{140589}{140638}Fag-o-vitch!
{140640}{140681}[Man]|Johnny, baby, Johnny.
{140796}{140860}[Boy]|Bad. I am bad. I am bad.
{140862}{140967}-I am bad. I am bad. I am bad. I am bad.|-[ Groaning ]
{140968}{141027}I am bad. I am bad.|I am bad.
{141028}{141088}- I am bad. I am bad.|-[Door Crashes Open]
{141091}{141149}I am bad.|I am bad. I am bad.
{141414}{141503}Maxine, lam gonna kill you!
{141573}{141619}You're creepy.
{141828}{141925}[ Kids Chanting ]|Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!
{141927}{142006}Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!
{142007}{142077}Wet his pants so all could see!
{142078}{142126}Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!
{142128}{142209}Little Johnny Malk-o-pee!
{142210}{142270}Wet his pants so all could see!
{142272}{142333}[ Both Grunting ]
{142593}{142669}- I loved you so much!|- [Cars Passing]
{142699}{142783}Oh! Why did you have|to hurt me like that?
{142786}{142832}I'm sorry, Lotte.
{142834}{142928}I guess I loved you, too, in my way.
{142930}{143042}You are so full of shit, Maxine!
{143044}{143104}I know.
{143105}{143152}I know!
{143243}{143297}It's your baby, okay?
{143299}{143357}What?
{143359}{143459}The baby-- it's yours.
{143462}{143546}It's ours. I got pregnant|when you were in Malkovich.
{143548}{143631}- You cannot fuck|with me anymore, Maxine!|- I'm not!
{143667}{143754}I kept it because I knew|you were the father--
{143797}{143852}the other mother--|whatever--
{143853}{143924}because l--|because it was yours.
{143989}{144035}So we're parents?
{144064}{144110}Together?
{144145}{144192}Yeah.
{144641}{144688}Say, uh...
{144721}{144784}- aren't you John Malkovich?|- No.
{144785}{144833}- Yeah, you are.|- No.
{144835}{144900}I can't believe|you're in this shithole, man.
{144901}{144981}- You guys know this is John Malkovich?|- I'm not John Malkovich.
{144983}{145064}- This is John Malkovich.|- I am not John Malkovich!
{145174}{145227}[Woman]|Cut it out, you guys.
{145229}{145310}[ Panting ]
{145473}{145520}- [ Rings ]|- Yes?
{145521}{145596}- Lester, please don't do it.|Please don't kill Maxine.|- So you'll leave?
{145597}{145658}Yes, I said--|I, uh-- I am leaving.
{145660}{145753}All right. Do it now while|I'm on the phone so I can hear...
{145755}{145801}and your lovely bride walks.
{145803}{145884}Uh-- Okay. Okay.
{145887}{145933}I'm going.
{146032}{146108}[Loud Whooshing Sound]
{146166}{146241}Now, my friends.|The time is now.
{146243}{146293}[ Excited Gasps, Laughing ]
{146991}{147033}I'm free.
{147125}{147190}I'm back! I'm--
{147192}{147261}[ Grunting ]
{147312}{147372}Aaah!
{147493}{147543}[ Grunts ]
{147575}{147645}Lotte.
{148311}{148354}[Door Slams]
{148382}{148428}Ooh!
{148430}{148498}Eh--
{148499}{148547}Hello.|Hello, young lady.
{148549}{148635}We're... Malk--
{148637}{148705}We're Malkovich.
{148707}{148760}- Hey! Hey!|- [Horn Honks]
{148761}{148825}Maxine!|I did it, Maxine!
{148827}{148876}I left Malkovich for you, sweetie!
{148877}{148937}It's no good being Malkovich|without you.
{148939}{148991}- It proves I love you!|- [ Lotte ] Fuck off, Craig!
{148992}{149055}- Doesn't it?|- [ Maxine ] He's not with us.
{149214}{149278}[ Horn Honks ]
{149279}{149343}Maxine, I love you!
{149345}{149423}I'm gonna go right back into Malkovich,|and I'm gonna kick Lester out!
{149425}{149505}And then you'll love me again!|Maxine!
{149506}{149553}Maxine!
{149704}{149786}[Doorbell Ringing]
{149866}{149966}- Ma-Sheen.|- Hey. Malcatraz.
{149967}{150022}- Uh, how are you?|- I'm very well. And you?
{150023}{150070}- Good, good.|- You look well.
{150071}{150118}- Thankyou.|- How's Celeste?
{150119}{150182}She's good, yeah.|She's sorry she couldn't make it today.
{150184}{150237}- She had to go to the store.|- Oh, that's okay.
{150239}{150307}Charlie, hi!|I didn't even hear the door.
{150309}{150404}- Lookin' great, Flo.|- I'm looking grateful?
{150442}{150511}Charlie, we are not|getting any younger.
{150512}{150584}Well, don't rub it in.
{150585}{150656}Listen, Charlie,|I know this is going to sound crazy...
{150658}{150740}but what would you think|if I told you that I'd found a way...
{150742}{150795}for us to live forever?
{150797}{150846}All of us.
{150847}{150908}-Johnny boy, what are you talking about?|-All of us.
{150910}{150984}Celeste, Floris, you, me.|Gary Sinise maybe.
{151045}{151104}I don't really understand.
{151270}{151382}Charlie, this... is Emily.
{151612}{151655}Isn't she lovely?
{151657}{151706}[Lotte]|Hey, pass the Cheetos.
{151708}{151768}- [Maxine] You need more puffs?|- No, I want more.
{151770}{151841}- Okeydoke. They're covered in grease.|- Shut up.
{151843}{151936}- Can I swim yet?|- [Maxine]Can you swim yet?
{151937}{152004}- What time is it?|- Shall we do the cramp test?
{152006}{152052}Check her.
{152054}{152154}Let me see.|Are you gonna throw up? Let me see!
{152156}{152231}Are you gonna throw up?|Are you gonna vomit?
{152233}{152287}Okay, you can swim.
{152385}{152442}[Craig]Maxine.
{152443}{152502}Maxine.
{152504}{152561}I love you, Maxine.
{152595}{152659}Oh, look away.
{152661}{152711}Look away.
{152713}{152783}Look away. Look away.
{152785}{152874}Look away. Look away.
{152876}{152923}Look away.
{155368}{155453}Closed-Captioned By|Captions, Inc. Los Angeles
{155455}{155483}Transferred by Nicodem.
{155483}{155538}(m)[Woman Singing In Icelandic]