1
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:33,661
It's perfect.
2
00:02:33,832 --> 00:02:35,356
Oh, great.
3
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:37,358
I'll take it.
4
00:02:37,335 --> 00:02:38,859
Wonderful. I'm so happy.
5
00:02:38,837 --> 00:02:41,362
There's one thing.
I'm gonna need some references.
6
00:02:42,340 --> 00:02:43,671
I don't have any of those.
7
00:02:43,842 --> 00:02:46,333
Oh, dear, that's serious.
8
00:02:46,344 --> 00:02:50,713
I don't know that we can do business
together if you don't have references.
9
00:02:53,852 --> 00:02:55,513
Bye, now!
10
00:03:46,404 --> 00:03:48,964
- Daddy.
- What's going on, Isabel?
11
00:03:49,407 --> 00:03:51,170
I'm moving here.
12
00:03:50,909 --> 00:03:53,207
To the Valley?
Why on earth would you do that?
13
00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:54,844
Because it's normal.
14
00:03:55,413 --> 00:03:56,710
You're normal. You're just...
15
00:03:56,414 --> 00:03:58,507
I know. But I'm not gonna
be one anymore.
16
00:03:58,917 --> 00:04:01,249
You have no choice in the matter.
It's what you are.
17
00:04:01,419 --> 00:04:03,250
Orange is a great color.
Orange is happy.
18
00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:04,979
Why don't we just paint it yellow?
19
00:04:05,423 --> 00:04:07,584
We can't, we're gonna
paint the bathroom yellow.
20
00:04:07,425 --> 00:04:08,858
Since when are we doing that?
21
00:04:08,927 --> 00:04:10,519
They're arguing about paint.
22
00:04:10,929 --> 00:04:12,328
Yes, I can see that.
23
00:04:12,430 --> 00:04:14,364
I wanna argue about paint.
24
00:04:14,432 --> 00:04:16,992
- With whom?
- With someone.
25
00:04:17,435 --> 00:04:18,459
A man?
26
00:04:18,436 --> 00:04:20,028
- Yes!
- Oh, Isabel.
27
00:04:20,438 --> 00:04:22,565
I'm through with warlocks.
They're all like you.
28
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,067
Even when you and mom
were married...
29
00:04:24,442 --> 00:04:26,376
...you were casting spells
on other women.
30
00:04:26,444 --> 00:04:29,470
Your life is total
instant gratification, Daddy.
31
00:04:29,447 --> 00:04:31,972
- It's fantastic, isn't it?
- No. No, it's not.
32
00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:35,442
Because how do you know that
anyone really loves you for yourself?
33
00:04:35,453 --> 00:04:38,786
It's like those rich men who are never
sure why women sleep with them.
34
00:04:38,957 --> 00:04:41,448
But women sleep with them,
so it's not really a problem.
35
00:04:43,461 --> 00:04:46,191
I want a man who needs me.
36
00:04:46,464 --> 00:04:47,863
Needs you?
37
00:04:47,966 --> 00:04:51,834
Because he is a completely
hopeless mess.
38
00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:54,438
Oh, no. You're talking about love,
aren't you?
39
00:04:55,974 --> 00:04:57,532
What do you suppose it's like?
40
00:04:57,475 --> 00:05:01,309
Oh, it's simple. You say, "I love you"
to someone you want to go home with.
41
00:05:01,479 --> 00:05:04,778
And then when things get messy,
you say, "I don't love you anymore."
42
00:05:04,983 --> 00:05:06,678
And that's pretty much it.
43
00:05:07,485 --> 00:05:10,545
I feel as if I'm pressed against
a glass window.
44
00:05:10,989 --> 00:05:15,653
It's right there on the other side.
I can see it, but I can't feel it.
45
00:05:15,493 --> 00:05:16,926
I can't touch it.
46
00:05:17,495 --> 00:05:21,454
- Does your mother know about this?
- She disappeared again.
47
00:05:21,499 --> 00:05:23,023
$420.56.
48
00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:25,833
Money. Money.
49
00:05:34,012 --> 00:05:36,640
That was my last thing as a witch.
50
00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:41,679
I wanna be like everyone else.
I wanna have friends and I wanna...
51
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:44,045
And I wanna go
to the Coffee Bean...
52
00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:47,719
...where we all discuss our problems,
which are absolutely unsolvable.
53
00:05:48,026 --> 00:05:51,757
You can have anything you want.
Every woman wants to be a witch.
54
00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:53,554
I don't. I wanna feel thwarted.
55
00:05:53,531 --> 00:05:55,658
I want days where my hair
is affected by weather.
56
00:05:56,034 --> 00:05:57,626
Yeah, hi, what can I get you?
57
00:05:58,536 --> 00:05:59,798
Scrambled eggs, please.
58
00:06:00,038 --> 00:06:03,701
I am through with just snapping
my fingers and getting my way.
59
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,702
No breakfast after 11.
60
00:06:08,546 --> 00:06:10,241
My absolutely last thing.
61
00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:13,278
Don't do this.
62
00:06:13,051 --> 00:06:15,417
You'll meet someone,
you'll get this close.
63
00:06:16,054 --> 00:06:18,818
- And when he finds out about...
- Lf he loves me, he won't care.
64
00:06:20,058 --> 00:06:21,355
I'm going to get an umbrella.
65
00:06:25,063 --> 00:06:27,054
Go on. Get yourself one.
66
00:06:27,065 --> 00:06:30,694
No, Daddy. No. I mean it.
No. Never again.
67
00:06:31,069 --> 00:06:33,833
- You'll get wet.
- I hope so.
68
00:06:51,089 --> 00:06:53,455
I know what you're gonna say.
I'm a mess.
69
00:06:53,558 --> 00:06:55,219
Get a grip, Jack. Get a grip.
70
00:06:55,593 --> 00:06:56,719
I can't help it.
71
00:06:56,594 --> 00:06:58,118
Hey, how do I look?
72
00:06:59,597 --> 00:07:00,962
You look great.
73
00:07:01,099 --> 00:07:02,157
- I look great?
- Yeah.
74
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,692
I always look great. That's a given.
75
00:07:04,102 --> 00:07:06,434
- And the important thing is...
- What?
76
00:07:06,604 --> 00:07:08,834
I have no idea what
the important thing is.
77
00:07:08,606 --> 00:07:11,370
I'm telling you, I feel like
I'm about to go out of my mind.
78
00:07:11,609 --> 00:07:15,875
You know, I want my life back. Okay?
I want my wife and my house.
79
00:07:16,114 --> 00:07:19,743
I wanna be a movie star again. I mean,
what the hell happened, Richie?
80
00:07:20,118 --> 00:07:21,881
Things were going so great
for a while.
81
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:26,113
Last Year in Katmandu.
It cost 140 mil to make.
82
00:07:26,124 --> 00:07:28,854
Grossed 1.6.
The only DVD to sell no copies.
83
00:07:29,127 --> 00:07:31,425
We probably shouldn't have shot it
in black-and-white.
84
00:07:31,629 --> 00:07:34,689
But now you're gonna do a television
series and it's gonna be a hit.
85
00:07:34,632 --> 00:07:37,624
So pull yourself together, man,
because you look like Don Johnson.
86
00:07:37,635 --> 00:07:39,603
- But in a bad way.
- Okay, I got it.
87
00:07:40,138 --> 00:07:41,799
- I'll pull myself together.
- Let's go.
88
00:07:41,639 --> 00:07:43,368
And don't get all nice on me.
Be mean.
89
00:07:43,641 --> 00:07:45,802
I'm gonna be mean.
I'm gonna be mean.
90
00:07:46,144 --> 00:07:47,475
Hit me. There you go.
91
00:07:47,645 --> 00:07:50,409
You're the Jackerator, baby.
Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
92
00:07:50,648 --> 00:07:53,082
Yo, gentlemen.
How are you? Oh!
93
00:07:53,151 --> 00:07:54,550
- Hey, hello.
- Jack Wyatt.
94
00:07:54,652 --> 00:07:57,143
- Hi, I'm Jack.
- Oh. Huge fan. Huge.
95
00:07:57,155 --> 00:07:59,089
- How are the kids, guys?
- Great.
96
00:07:59,657 --> 00:08:01,215
Good. Well, let's cut the chitchat.
97
00:08:01,159 --> 00:08:03,093
- Thank you. I'm Jack, by the way.
- Nina.
98
00:08:03,161 --> 00:08:05,356
- Jack wants to do the show.
- That's great.
99
00:08:05,663 --> 00:08:08,131
- I wanna do it.
- That's great. That's terrific.
100
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:09,394
He only has one concern.
101
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,032
We had the same concern.
102
00:08:11,169 --> 00:08:13,933
But we think everyone's forgotten
about Last Year in Katmandu.
103
00:08:14,172 --> 00:08:15,400
Unless they saw it.
104
00:08:15,673 --> 00:08:17,607
His concern is...
105
00:08:18,176 --> 00:08:19,871
...the witch has all the fun.
106
00:08:20,178 --> 00:08:21,975
You will be fun.
107
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,511
We're changing it from the original.
108
00:08:24,682 --> 00:08:29,016
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't all go crazy.
Okay? I mean, it is Bewitched.
109
00:08:29,187 --> 00:08:33,453
I mean, Samantha should be strong.
Right? This should be a two-hander.
110
00:08:34,192 --> 00:08:36,990
Oh, my God. Huh?
Hey. What a relief.
111
00:08:37,195 --> 00:08:41,757
I was worried because Larry told me
you'd want to tilt the show toward you...
112
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,428
Stu, Stu.
113
00:08:43,201 --> 00:08:46,261
We gotta have a great ensemble
is what I'm thinking. You know?
114
00:08:46,704 --> 00:08:50,435
Endora, the next-door neighbors,
all those crazy family members.
115
00:08:50,708 --> 00:08:53,939
Who's gonna play Uncle Arthur? Huh?
I used to love Uncle Arthur.
116
00:08:53,711 --> 00:08:55,440
Well, we're looking for Uncle Arthur.
117
00:08:55,713 --> 00:08:57,340
- Your table's ready.
- Thank you.
118
00:08:57,715 --> 00:08:58,909
I don't know if you remember...
119
00:08:59,217 --> 00:09:02,653
...but when he'd appear in the mirror,
it would crack. It would always crack.
120
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,689
And you knew it was coming,
and yet, every time it happened...
121
00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:08,385
...I laughed and I laughed
and I laughed.
122
00:09:08,726 --> 00:09:10,557
- Can I talk to you?
- I loved it.
123
00:09:10,728 --> 00:09:12,161
"Hi, Sammy."
124
00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:15,961
One second, fellas. We'll meet
you guys at the table, all right?
125
00:09:16,234 --> 00:09:19,067
Hey, I like those guys. What?
126
00:09:19,237 --> 00:09:21,432
- You're being a pussy.
- What?
127
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:23,730
You're being a pussy, pussy, pussy!
128
00:09:24,242 --> 00:09:26,073
No, I'm not!
I want the show to be good.
129
00:09:26,244 --> 00:09:27,973
You want the show to be...
You know what?
130
00:09:28,246 --> 00:09:31,272
Jack Wyatt's doing TV now
because his film career ate it!
131
00:09:31,249 --> 00:09:33,911
And he's not even the clear star
of his own show.
132
00:09:34,252 --> 00:09:38,086
Jack, screw Uncle Arthur.
Hell, screw ensembles, man.
133
00:09:38,256 --> 00:09:39,655
- I'm being a pussy.
- Yes.
134
00:09:39,757 --> 00:09:43,625
If this show tanks, you'll be on
Hollywood Squares for 10 years.
135
00:09:43,761 --> 00:09:45,820
You will also be the mayor
of Pussytown.
136
00:09:45,763 --> 00:09:47,390
I don't wanna be the mayor
of Pussytown.
137
00:09:47,765 --> 00:09:50,131
Get in there and be
the sheriff of Ballsville.
138
00:09:50,268 --> 00:09:51,360
- All right?
- Okay.
139
00:09:51,769 --> 00:09:53,293
- Bring it.
- Okay.
140
00:09:53,271 --> 00:09:54,670
Let's go.
141
00:09:57,275 --> 00:09:58,867
- Stop that.
- Sorry, sorry.
142
00:09:59,277 --> 00:10:00,972
Sorry, guys, where were we?
143
00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:04,373
Couple of big names are available
for Samantha.
144
00:10:07,285 --> 00:10:09,082
- To hell with that.
- Yeah.
145
00:10:09,287 --> 00:10:11,221
I want an unknown in the lead.
All right?
146
00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:13,849
A hot new face that's gonna look good
and set me up.
147
00:10:13,791 --> 00:10:18,592
Because I have worked my ass off
to the bone for too long...
148
00:10:18,796 --> 00:10:22,163
...to build up the brand value
of the name Jack Wyatt!
149
00:10:23,801 --> 00:10:26,599
- This show has one star.
- And I want three trailers.
150
00:10:26,804 --> 00:10:29,272
Nobody in television
has three trailers.
151
00:10:29,807 --> 00:10:31,138
He wants them, you get them.
152
00:10:31,309 --> 00:10:35,143
And I want my own makeup team
in matching jumpsuits.
153
00:10:35,813 --> 00:10:37,940
And a leopard!
I want a pet leopard.
154
00:10:37,815 --> 00:10:40,045
With a diamond-studded collar.
Real diamonds.
155
00:10:40,318 --> 00:10:42,252
- That's enough, Jack.
- And a cake.
156
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,585
A two-story-high cake.
Every Wednesday's Cake Day.
157
00:10:45,823 --> 00:10:47,620
And we're gonna bring it out...
158
00:10:47,825 --> 00:10:49,690
...and we're gonna pretend
it's a surprise.
159
00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:51,294
Because it's Cake Day.
160
00:10:51,329 --> 00:10:52,626
We get it, Jack.
161
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:56,630
If we have a leopard, we're gonna
have major insurance issues.
162
00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:58,563
We're willing to give
on the leopard.
163
00:10:58,836 --> 00:11:00,235
It's getting hard to breathe.
164
00:11:00,338 --> 00:11:02,329
- Should I be writing this down?
- No.
165
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,606
So this should be fun. Huh? Right?
166
00:11:06,844 --> 00:11:10,575
I used to have the biggest crush on
Elizabeth Montgomery when I was 10.
167
00:11:10,848 --> 00:11:14,113
- We all did.
- The nose. I mean...
168
00:11:16,354 --> 00:11:20,552
It's not gonna be easy finding
a nobody to play Samantha.
169
00:11:21,859 --> 00:11:23,258
Be the sheriff.
170
00:11:23,861 --> 00:11:28,195
Well, Jack Wyatt says
get it done, y'all.
171
00:11:34,872 --> 00:11:38,239
Hey, I'm turning on the sprinklers
in my front yard.
172
00:11:41,879 --> 00:11:44,211
Dimming up.
173
00:11:44,382 --> 00:11:47,044
Dimming down.
174
00:11:47,385 --> 00:11:51,321
Dimming up.
175
00:11:51,389 --> 00:11:53,721
Dimming down.
176
00:12:00,398 --> 00:12:01,660
Wow!
177
00:12:01,399 --> 00:12:03,890
I don't think you quite understand.
178
00:12:04,402 --> 00:12:06,131
This is very confusing.
179
00:12:06,404 --> 00:12:09,999
I put the black cable in the red plug
like they said...
180
00:12:09,907 --> 00:12:12,637
...and the screen is still blue.
181
00:12:13,911 --> 00:12:15,640
I'm here to give you cable.
182
00:12:15,913 --> 00:12:18,381
Oh, thank you, I already have some.
183
00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:22,079
Hello? Don't go away, please.
184
00:12:24,422 --> 00:12:26,890
To heck with all this bunk!
185
00:12:49,447 --> 00:12:50,846
There.
186
00:12:53,451 --> 00:12:56,147
Let's just keep this
between us, Lucinda.
187
00:12:57,955 --> 00:13:02,016
Is your self-esteem low because you
aren't participating in the real world?
188
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,519
Yes, my self-esteem is very low.
189
00:13:04,462 --> 00:13:07,863
Well, let's face it, you need a job.
190
00:13:07,965 --> 00:13:09,796
There's something I have
to tell you, Darrin.
191
00:13:10,468 --> 00:13:12,834
- I'm a witch.
- I'm a witch.
192
00:13:12,970 --> 00:13:15,029
I am a witch.
193
00:13:24,982 --> 00:13:27,712
Good. Good.
194
00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:58,447
Oh, my goodness.
195
00:14:13,531 --> 00:14:15,362
God bless you.
196
00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:55,903
Don't look, but Jack Wyatt
is staring at you.
197
00:14:59,076 --> 00:15:02,876
My heart's pounding,
and I am feeling very weird tingles.
198
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:05,174
I know. He makes me sick too.
199
00:15:05,583 --> 00:15:07,073
You know him?
200
00:15:07,084 --> 00:15:09,348
Jack Wyatt? The actor?
201
00:15:10,087 --> 00:15:11,247
Where have you been?
202
00:15:12,089 --> 00:15:14,751
- May I join you?
- Sure.
203
00:15:16,594 --> 00:15:18,619
- Hi, I'm Jack Wyatt.
- I know.
204
00:15:19,096 --> 00:15:20,427
Thank you.
205
00:15:20,598 --> 00:15:22,828
Look, I've never done this before.
206
00:15:24,101 --> 00:15:27,036
How would you like to be
on a television show?
207
00:15:28,105 --> 00:15:30,164
- Ms...
- Bigelow.
208
00:15:30,608 --> 00:15:31,905
Bigelow?
209
00:15:32,610 --> 00:15:34,703
Isabel Bigelow.
210
00:15:36,614 --> 00:15:38,605
What do you think?
Wanna be a famous actress?
211
00:15:38,616 --> 00:15:39,844
- Me?
- Yeah.
212
00:15:40,117 --> 00:15:41,982
- An actress?
- Yeah.
213
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:43,882
I can't act.
214
00:15:45,122 --> 00:15:46,714
Anyone can act.
215
00:15:47,124 --> 00:15:48,955
If I can act, you can act.
216
00:15:49,126 --> 00:15:50,388
Amen.
217
00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:54,997
I think those people over there
just finished their plate of hummus.
218
00:15:55,132 --> 00:15:57,965
You might wanna help them
by clearing it. Thank you.
219
00:16:01,639 --> 00:16:05,234
So, Isabel Bigelow,
do you have a job?
220
00:16:05,643 --> 00:16:08,043
- No.
- Are you rich?
221
00:16:08,145 --> 00:16:09,772
Because I am.
222
00:16:10,648 --> 00:16:11,774
I'm extremely wealthy.
223
00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:16,882
Which I'm about to prove to you
by taking care of this bill...
224
00:16:16,654 --> 00:16:19,316
...for two dollars...
225
00:16:19,657 --> 00:16:21,989
...and 31 cents.
226
00:16:22,159 --> 00:16:24,855
- Wow.
- Yeah. "Wow" is right.
227
00:16:25,162 --> 00:16:27,392
I have to remember
to get some money.
228
00:16:27,665 --> 00:16:28,893
Yeah.
229
00:16:28,666 --> 00:16:30,896
So do you wanna be
rich and famous?
230
00:16:33,671 --> 00:16:35,639
I just wanna be normal.
231
00:16:36,173 --> 00:16:38,733
Well, acting is better than normal.
232
00:16:39,176 --> 00:16:41,576
Yeah. You get to pretend
to be normal.
233
00:16:42,179 --> 00:16:44,943
And then if you're good,
you become a big star...
234
00:16:45,182 --> 00:16:47,912
...and guess what happens.
- What?
235
00:16:48,185 --> 00:16:52,121
You snap your fingers and pretty much
anything you want materializes.
236
00:16:52,189 --> 00:16:54,453
Oh, no. No, no, no.
237
00:16:54,692 --> 00:16:57,354
I have that now.
It's what I'm giving up.
238
00:16:58,195 --> 00:17:01,392
Oh, it was lovely to meet you.
239
00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:06,863
You seem very sweet
and unkempt and troubled.
240
00:17:09,206 --> 00:17:10,298
Hey!
241
00:17:10,207 --> 00:17:14,303
Hey, hey, hey. Those are bad things
to say to a person.
242
00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:15,701
Oh, no, they aren't.
243
00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:19,843
I think the fact that you're
a hopeless mess is very refreshing.
244
00:17:20,217 --> 00:17:21,844
It moves me.
245
00:17:27,725 --> 00:17:30,057
- Isabel Bigelow.
- Yes?
246
00:17:31,228 --> 00:17:32,923
I need you.
247
00:17:33,731 --> 00:17:35,460
What did you say?
248
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:37,894
- I said, I need you.
- You need me?
249
00:17:38,235 --> 00:17:39,862
I need you.
250
00:17:41,739 --> 00:17:43,866
You don't have to come audition.
251
00:17:44,241 --> 00:17:47,039
Just come and show everyone
what you look like when you do it.
252
00:17:47,244 --> 00:17:48,336
Like this?
253
00:17:49,246 --> 00:17:50,304
Uncanny.
254
00:17:50,247 --> 00:17:51,612
- It's identical.
- I told you.
255
00:18:00,758 --> 00:18:02,385
You go, girl!
256
00:18:04,762 --> 00:18:07,356
We would just like you
to read the script.
257
00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:09,926
Start on page 13.
Should be marked there.
258
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:11,564
Read it?
259
00:18:20,778 --> 00:18:21,938
Okay... Out loud.
260
00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:25,044
Yeah. We want an idea
of what it could sound like.
261
00:18:27,284 --> 00:18:30,583
"Int., honeymoon suite, night...
Dash, night.
262
00:18:30,788 --> 00:18:32,722
Darrin and Samantha are sitting
on the bed."
263
00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:34,257
Someone's not too bright.
264
00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:38,091
Just... Just read the part
that says "Samantha."
265
00:18:41,298 --> 00:18:44,734
"Darrin, I know it's our honeymoon,
but there's something I have to tell you.
266
00:18:44,802 --> 00:18:46,292
I'm a witch."
267
00:18:46,804 --> 00:18:48,897
- I'm not a witch.
- Yeah, exactly.
268
00:18:48,806 --> 00:18:51,400
- No, you're giving it up.
- Who told you?
269
00:18:51,809 --> 00:18:54,209
You're about to. On the next page.
270
00:18:54,311 --> 00:18:57,940
It's Bewitched. The TV show.
We're redoing it.
271
00:18:58,315 --> 00:19:00,306
Oh, I wasn't allowed
to watch Bewitched.
272
00:19:01,318 --> 00:19:04,014
Who wasn't allowed
to watch Bewitched?
273
00:19:04,321 --> 00:19:06,846
- That's great, Jack.
- That's great.
274
00:19:06,824 --> 00:19:09,691
Well, I play a mortal.
And I'm in love with you.
275
00:19:09,827 --> 00:19:11,954
And I don't care that you're a witch.
276
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:15,195
You don't care?
277
00:19:15,332 --> 00:19:16,629
No? Is that true?
278
00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:18,165
Yes, it is. Yeah.
279
00:19:18,335 --> 00:19:21,395
Now go ahead and read the lines.
280
00:19:21,338 --> 00:19:23,135
I'll read with you.
We'll do it together.
281
00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:26,901
Randall? Where are you?
Yes. Thank you.
282
00:19:27,845 --> 00:19:29,403
This'll be easy.
283
00:19:35,352 --> 00:19:36,546
- Here?
- Yeah.
284
00:19:36,353 --> 00:19:37,718
I'm a witch, Darrin.
285
00:19:37,855 --> 00:19:43,122
A house-haunting, broomstick-flying,
cauldron-stirring witch!
286
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:44,520
Great. Great.
287
00:19:44,862 --> 00:19:48,457
Know what? Let's put the script down,
let's put it away, and we'll improvise.
288
00:19:48,866 --> 00:19:51,426
Jack. That was only one line.
289
00:19:51,368 --> 00:19:52,699
Not a big deal.
290
00:19:52,870 --> 00:19:54,394
Go ahead, just set it down.
291
00:19:54,371 --> 00:19:55,770
Randall.
292
00:19:56,874 --> 00:19:59,900
I'm gonna ask you questions,
just answer them as if you're a witch.
293
00:20:00,878 --> 00:20:02,311
- Sure.
- Yeah.
294
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:05,280
Were your parents
in the witch business?
295
00:20:05,382 --> 00:20:08,180
Both of them. My mother fixed
the 1986 World Series.
296
00:20:09,887 --> 00:20:12,185
- Funny.
- Make a note of that.
297
00:20:12,389 --> 00:20:15,324
Do you carry around poison apples,
like in Snow White?
298
00:20:15,392 --> 00:20:18,884
Oh, no, you have to have a permit
for a poison apple.
299
00:20:19,396 --> 00:20:21,261
Permit? Okay, good to know.
300
00:20:21,899 --> 00:20:22,957
That's good.
301
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,765
Oh, what's it like to date a warlock?
302
00:20:25,402 --> 00:20:27,199
Oh! Horrible.
303
00:20:26,904 --> 00:20:31,102
They're self-centered, not very bright,
and all that feel-good-in-the-moment.
304
00:20:31,408 --> 00:20:33,069
Not at all like you.
305
00:20:34,912 --> 00:20:36,072
What's so funny?
306
00:20:36,413 --> 00:20:38,108
Nothing, J-Bone.
307
00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:40,440
What's your favorite spell?
308
00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:43,909
Oh, no, I don't like to talk about that
because I'm quitting and...
309
00:20:43,921 --> 00:20:46,549
No, talking about it
just makes it harder, so...
310
00:20:46,924 --> 00:20:49,154
Are you sure you never saw
Bewitched?
311
00:20:49,426 --> 00:20:51,087
She's incredibly dialed-in.
312
00:20:50,928 --> 00:20:53,362
- Can I ask a question?
- Sure.
313
00:20:53,931 --> 00:20:55,922
How much longer do we have to
do this for?
314
00:20:55,933 --> 00:20:58,299
Oh, this?
We're almost done with this.
315
00:20:58,435 --> 00:21:01,563
I mean, if you do the show,
we'll be together forever.
316
00:21:01,939 --> 00:21:04,169
- You and I?
- Would you please do the show?
317
00:21:03,941 --> 00:21:05,306
- What? This show?
- This show.
318
00:21:05,442 --> 00:21:07,672
- The Bewitched show?
- Absolutely.
319
00:21:07,945 --> 00:21:09,742
We'll work together.
We'll be partners.
320
00:21:10,948 --> 00:21:12,142
Be my TV wife.
321
00:21:12,449 --> 00:21:14,781
- This is very complicated.
- Marry me.
322
00:21:15,953 --> 00:21:17,614
Say yes.
323
00:21:17,955 --> 00:21:19,183
What are you doing, Isabel?
324
00:21:19,957 --> 00:21:21,390
Easy answer.
325
00:21:22,459 --> 00:21:24,222
- Yes.
- Yes!
326
00:21:24,962 --> 00:21:27,760
Great. Thank you.
327
00:21:27,965 --> 00:21:31,526
Okay. Let's make the deal. Right?
328
00:21:32,469 --> 00:21:35,996
Once upon a time,
there was a typical American girl...
329
00:21:36,974 --> 00:21:42,207
... who happened to bump into
a typical red-blooded American boy.
330
00:21:42,479 --> 00:21:46,973
And she bumped into him,
and bumped into him.
331
00:21:48,986 --> 00:21:51,750
So they decided they'd better
sit down and talk this over...
332
00:21:51,989 --> 00:21:54,219
... before they had an accident.
333
00:21:54,491 --> 00:21:55,856
They became good friends.
334
00:21:55,993 --> 00:21:57,927
- Hi!
- Hello?
335
00:21:57,995 --> 00:22:00,793
They brought this while you were out.
I said I'd bring it over.
336
00:22:00,998 --> 00:22:02,590
I'm your neighbor, Maria Kelly.
337
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,399
- Come in!
- Thank you.
338
00:22:05,002 --> 00:22:06,492
What is all this stuff?
339
00:22:06,503 --> 00:22:08,903
I just got the most amazing job.
340
00:22:09,006 --> 00:22:12,806
I'm gonna be Samantha on Bewitched.
They're redoing it.
341
00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:14,568
Are you an actress?
342
00:22:15,012 --> 00:22:16,274
I guess I am.
343
00:22:16,013 --> 00:22:18,504
I love that show.
Is that the one about the genie?
344
00:22:19,016 --> 00:22:21,849
- No.
- This is so exciting!
345
00:22:26,023 --> 00:22:28,856
Oh! There you are. Come here.
This is you!
346
00:22:29,026 --> 00:22:30,618
Oh, I love this show.
347
00:22:32,529 --> 00:22:33,689
You know it?
348
00:22:33,530 --> 00:22:36,966
Watched it every night.
Love the song. Perfect.
349
00:22:37,534 --> 00:22:40,560
There you are! You're great!
Look at the nose!
350
00:22:40,537 --> 00:22:41,799
I hope you can do that.
351
00:22:42,039 --> 00:22:43,973
That's how I got the job.
Wriggling my nose.
352
00:22:44,041 --> 00:22:46,009
- Really?
- It's easy.
353
00:22:46,543 --> 00:22:48,033
Who's gonna play your husband?
354
00:22:48,045 --> 00:22:50,206
- Jack Wyatt.
- Oh, my God.
355
00:22:50,547 --> 00:22:53,880
He believes in me. He wants to be
partners with me. Listen to this:
356
00:22:54,051 --> 00:22:56,076
"Looking forward
to working with you, Isabel.
357
00:22:56,053 --> 00:22:58,317
As dictated to
Jack's assistant, Randall."
358
00:22:58,555 --> 00:23:00,182
Isn't that amazing?
359
00:23:01,058 --> 00:23:04,118
He's single. It's in all the tabloids.
His wife dumped him.
360
00:23:04,061 --> 00:23:05,392
- Is that true?
- Yes!
361
00:23:05,562 --> 00:23:06,790
Oh, my gosh.
362
00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:12,001
I don't know why we're doing this,
but it's fun.
363
00:23:12,069 --> 00:23:13,696
I know!
364
00:23:14,071 --> 00:23:17,165
Although, you shouldn't get involved
with someone you're working with.
365
00:23:17,574 --> 00:23:20,634
It can destroy your references.
I'm a career counselor and...
366
00:23:20,577 --> 00:23:23,068
Well, that's the only reason
I took the job.
367
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:27,915
He is the cutest mess you have
ever seen. He is hopeless.
368
00:23:30,087 --> 00:23:33,523
Oh, gosh, he's beyond mortal.
369
00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:36,320
My father would never approve.
370
00:23:37,094 --> 00:23:38,721
Oh. Well.
371
00:23:39,596 --> 00:23:40,756
I won't?
372
00:23:40,597 --> 00:23:42,428
Daddy. Hi.
373
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,192
What are you doing here?
374
00:23:45,102 --> 00:23:47,093
Hello, Isabel. Love the hat.
375
00:23:48,605 --> 00:23:50,505
And who is this?
376
00:23:51,108 --> 00:23:52,700
This is my father.
377
00:23:52,609 --> 00:23:54,634
This is Maria Kelly.
378
00:23:56,113 --> 00:24:00,311
How witchy was that? We talk
about your father and he turns up.
379
00:24:01,118 --> 00:24:02,847
Maria is my neighbor.
380
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,714
Nigel Bigelow. Enchanté.
381
00:24:06,123 --> 00:24:07,613
Okay.
382
00:24:08,125 --> 00:24:09,615
And what won't I approve of?
383
00:24:09,626 --> 00:24:11,491
A man Isabel thinks is cute.
384
00:24:11,628 --> 00:24:13,323
I'm completely against it.
385
00:24:13,630 --> 00:24:15,689
I'm gonna be an actress
in a television series.
386
00:24:15,632 --> 00:24:18,328
She's gonna play Samantha
on Bewitched.
387
00:24:18,635 --> 00:24:22,230
Bewitched?
That's an insult to our way of life.
388
00:24:24,141 --> 00:24:25,938
Your dad is a hoot.
389
00:24:25,642 --> 00:24:27,906
I'm gonna take one of these,
because you got a lot.
390
00:24:28,145 --> 00:24:29,237
Oh, sure.
391
00:24:29,646 --> 00:24:34,140
Anyway, if anyone's robbing my house,
let me know. I'll do the same for you.
392
00:24:34,651 --> 00:24:36,881
Oh! And if you get a date
that has a friend...
393
00:24:37,154 --> 00:24:40,214
...make sure he's not secretly married
before you call me.
394
00:24:40,657 --> 00:24:42,648
- Bye, Nigel.
- Bye, Maria.
395
00:24:42,659 --> 00:24:44,286
Bye, Maria.
396
00:24:44,661 --> 00:24:46,356
Why can't you be happy for me?
397
00:24:47,164 --> 00:24:51,032
In less than a week I have become
a rich and famous actress...
398
00:24:51,168 --> 00:24:53,864
...living in a house I don't even have
to pay rent for...
399
00:24:54,171 --> 00:24:56,162
...just like every other person
in the world.
400
00:24:56,173 --> 00:24:57,401
Why wouldn't I be happy?
401
00:24:57,674 --> 00:25:00,165
You've turned your back
on your own kind...
402
00:25:00,177 --> 00:25:03,374
...and now you live down the street
from a Denny's.
403
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,808
Don't make fun of my life.
I could make fun of your life.
404
00:25:06,683 --> 00:25:09,277
So, what about this man?
405
00:25:09,686 --> 00:25:12,553
No, I am not telling you anything
anymore, you're too negative.
406
00:25:12,689 --> 00:25:15,624
One morning,
I shot a lion in my pajamas.
407
00:25:15,742 --> 00:25:19,473
What he was doing in my pajamas,
I'll never know.
408
00:25:22,749 --> 00:25:24,512
Uncle Arthur. Classic.
409
00:25:24,751 --> 00:25:28,482
Your brand of low comedy always did
appeal to adolescent mentality.
410
00:25:32,759 --> 00:25:33,987
I won't do it.
411
00:25:34,261 --> 00:25:36,252
Speaking of traveling,
remember that time...
412
00:25:36,263 --> 00:25:37,355
Maybe I will.
413
00:25:37,764 --> 00:25:39,789
Maybe I will.
414
00:25:39,766 --> 00:25:42,200
...sent over from Europe.
It's simply gorgeous.
415
00:25:42,269 --> 00:25:44,567
It reminds me
of the one in California.
416
00:25:49,776 --> 00:25:52,176
Lucinda, you really should be
watching this.
417
00:25:58,285 --> 00:26:01,083
I'm only trying to say
that you broke your promise.
418
00:26:01,288 --> 00:26:03,518
You gave me your word, no more...
419
00:26:03,790 --> 00:26:05,121
Stuff.
420
00:26:05,292 --> 00:26:08,022
It's a little harder to break the habit
than I thought.
421
00:26:08,295 --> 00:26:11,731
Well, you can do it.
I've got a lot of faith in you.
422
00:26:11,798 --> 00:26:13,322
Thank you, darling.
423
00:26:14,301 --> 00:26:15,791
Ladies and gentlemen...
424
00:26:15,802 --> 00:26:18,828
...please welcome the star
of the new Bewitched:
425
00:26:18,805 --> 00:26:20,602
Jack Wyatt!
426
00:26:26,313 --> 00:26:28,110
I didn't expect you guys to be here.
427
00:26:30,317 --> 00:26:33,115
Okay, as you know,
we're here for Bewitched.
428
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,984
But it's not the same Bewitched
that you remember. It's being retooled.
429
00:26:38,325 --> 00:26:39,952
But there is going to be a Samantha?
430
00:26:39,826 --> 00:26:41,953
Of course.
Isabel, can you come out here?
431
00:26:46,833 --> 00:26:49,233
Be brave. You look beautiful.
432
00:26:49,336 --> 00:26:51,031
Ladies and gentlemen
of the press...
433
00:26:51,338 --> 00:26:55,274
...I'd like you to meet the talented
and delightful Ms. Isabel Bigelow.
434
00:26:55,342 --> 00:26:57,333
Say hello to the people, Isabel.
435
00:26:57,844 --> 00:26:58,970
Hello.
436
00:26:59,346 --> 00:27:02,247
No, no, into the microphone.
Here. Here.
437
00:27:02,849 --> 00:27:04,578
- Hello.
- That's enough.
438
00:27:05,852 --> 00:27:07,945
Now do that thing that you do.
439
00:27:10,857 --> 00:27:12,449
Isn't that great?
440
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:16,557
That was great. Great.
Just stand there.
441
00:27:17,364 --> 00:27:20,697
And guess who's playing Endora.
442
00:27:20,867 --> 00:27:26,134
Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome the great, the legendary...
443
00:27:26,373 --> 00:27:29,604
...Miss Iris Smythson,
as my mother-in-law.
444
00:27:29,876 --> 00:27:31,366
That's right.
445
00:27:31,878 --> 00:27:33,743
Iris Smythson. Iris?
446
00:27:35,882 --> 00:27:37,474
- Iris?
- All right, what's going on?
447
00:27:50,897 --> 00:27:52,558
Iris Smythson.
448
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,800
And of course she hates me.
Don't you?
449
00:27:55,902 --> 00:27:57,870
Anything you say, Jerry.
450
00:27:57,904 --> 00:28:00,498
Jack. See what I mean?
That's a joke, right?
451
00:28:00,907 --> 00:28:03,000
Endora used to refer to Darrin
as Derwood.
452
00:28:02,909 --> 00:28:05,241
No, I just forgot your name.
453
00:28:05,912 --> 00:28:08,403
But the news here
isn't Iris Smythson...
454
00:28:08,415 --> 00:28:11,248
... or Jack Wyatt,
who's trying the small screen...
455
00:28:11,418 --> 00:28:14,353
... after the twin disasters
of his last movie...
456
00:28:14,421 --> 00:28:16,582
... and a messy split
from his wife, Sheila...
457
00:28:16,923 --> 00:28:18,914
... who's already found
someone new...
458
00:28:18,925 --> 00:28:21,860
... after a marriage that lasted
only 19 months.
459
00:28:21,928 --> 00:28:24,988
Didn't she leave him for a
snowboarder/underwear model?
460
00:28:25,432 --> 00:28:27,332
He's a moronlidiot.
461
00:28:27,434 --> 00:28:29,766
- That's right.
- Aren't they living together?
462
00:28:29,936 --> 00:28:33,633
Yes, in my house! My house
that I bought before I even met her.
463
00:28:33,940 --> 00:28:36,431
And she won't move
or sign the divorce papers.
464
00:28:36,443 --> 00:28:40,607
The big news is the surprise casting
of an unknown as Samantha.
465
00:28:40,947 --> 00:28:42,972
Her name is Isabel Bigelow...
466
00:28:42,949 --> 00:28:45,474
... and she's quite the charmer,
isn't she?
467
00:28:45,952 --> 00:28:48,580
- That's magic.
- So, what's Jack Wyatt thinking?
468
00:28:48,955 --> 00:28:51,719
"My career has tanked,
so I'll fix it by playing Darrin"?
469
00:28:51,958 --> 00:28:54,483
Yeah. Because that's crazy.
Who's running his life?
470
00:28:54,461 --> 00:28:56,486
Plus, he did not look well.
471
00:28:56,963 --> 00:28:59,363
Not look well? I look fine.
472
00:28:59,466 --> 00:29:01,400
I'm extremely healthy.
473
00:29:01,968 --> 00:29:04,596
Richie. Richie.
474
00:29:05,472 --> 00:29:07,440
What am I gonna do with you?
475
00:29:08,475 --> 00:29:09,669
Boy.
476
00:29:10,477 --> 00:29:11,774
This is Richie.
477
00:29:11,978 --> 00:29:15,277
Richie. Why'd you talk me
into doing this show? Huh?
478
00:29:15,482 --> 00:29:17,677
What was I thinking?
What were you thinking?
479
00:29:17,484 --> 00:29:19,850
We were both thinking
the same thing, Jack Attack.
480
00:29:19,986 --> 00:29:22,045
Cast a nobody.
You're completely safe.
481
00:29:22,489 --> 00:29:25,822
Richie, can't you come over here?
I could use a little support on this one.
482
00:29:25,992 --> 00:29:29,792
Jack, I can't because I'm about to step
into a meeting with the head of NBC.
483
00:29:29,996 --> 00:29:31,588
I'll be right there! One second.
484
00:29:31,498 --> 00:29:35,332
Look, I don't know if you know this,
but I'm Darrin, okay?
485
00:29:35,502 --> 00:29:40,201
They replaced Darrin on the original
Bewitched and no one noticed!
486
00:29:40,507 --> 00:29:43,067
Mobody is going to replace you.
487
00:29:43,510 --> 00:29:46,843
I'm Darrin! How did this happen?!
488
00:30:22,549 --> 00:30:23,914
Hold the work!
489
00:30:24,050 --> 00:30:28,282
Once upon a time, there was a typical
red-blooded American boy...
490
00:30:28,555 --> 00:30:31,956
... who happened to bump into
a typical American girl.
491
00:30:34,060 --> 00:30:35,687
And, cut!
492
00:30:38,064 --> 00:30:40,555
- Jack, Jack.
- How was I? How was I?
493
00:30:40,567 --> 00:30:42,797
- You were wonderful, man.
- So good.
494
00:30:43,069 --> 00:30:45,663
- Don't lie to me.
- No. My ribs hurt.
495
00:30:45,572 --> 00:30:47,199
It's what I get paid to do.
496
00:30:47,574 --> 00:30:49,439
Jack? Uno más? From the top?
497
00:30:49,576 --> 00:30:50,634
One more?
498
00:30:51,578 --> 00:30:54,706
Did you see what happened?
Good stuff.
499
00:30:56,583 --> 00:30:58,073
Moving on!
500
00:30:58,585 --> 00:31:00,815
You know it, dude. Nice one.
501
00:31:01,588 --> 00:31:04,489
Here we go.
Off to a good start, huh?
502
00:31:05,592 --> 00:31:10,086
And after a while, he did what any
red-blooded American boy would do.
503
00:31:10,096 --> 00:31:12,690
Samantha, will you marry me?
504
00:31:13,099 --> 00:31:14,225
Cut!
505
00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:16,261
Great! Beautiful. That was good.
506
00:31:16,603 --> 00:31:17,831
That was good.
507
00:31:18,605 --> 00:31:20,436
- Action.
- You're a witch?
508
00:31:20,607 --> 00:31:23,770
And you waited until our
wedding night to tell me?
509
00:31:24,110 --> 00:31:27,341
I don't believe this! Oh, golly!
510
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,451
Samantha.
511
00:31:43,630 --> 00:31:45,393
Cut! Cut!
512
00:31:45,632 --> 00:31:47,463
Joey, for God's sake.
513
00:31:47,634 --> 00:31:50,797
Are you trying to kill everyone?
Because we can't breathe.
514
00:31:51,137 --> 00:31:53,298
And what's going on
with the lightning?
515
00:31:53,139 --> 00:31:56,370
You can't nod to the audience in
the show. It just breaks the reality.
516
00:31:56,643 --> 00:31:57,735
What?
517
00:31:58,144 --> 00:31:59,975
You can't nod to them.
You can't do...
518
00:32:00,146 --> 00:32:02,011
Go sit in your chair.
Back to your chair.
519
00:32:02,148 --> 00:32:03,479
All right, but...
520
00:32:04,150 --> 00:32:05,640
Take two up. Rolling!
521
00:32:06,152 --> 00:32:10,555
You're a witch? And you waited until
our wedding night to tell me?
522
00:32:11,157 --> 00:32:13,648
I can't believe this.
523
00:32:17,664 --> 00:32:19,063
What's going on?
524
00:32:21,668 --> 00:32:22,896
Samantha.
525
00:32:29,676 --> 00:32:31,075
Why is she waving?
526
00:32:32,178 --> 00:32:33,770
Who are you?
527
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:37,741
I am Samantha's mother, Endora.
528
00:32:38,184 --> 00:32:40,379
A mortal? You married a mortal?
529
00:32:40,687 --> 00:32:44,088
Oh, my poor, poor baby.
This is just horrifying.
530
00:32:44,190 --> 00:32:45,418
I think I need a drink.
531
00:32:45,692 --> 00:32:47,125
Freeze!
532
00:32:51,197 --> 00:32:52,391
Unfreeze!
533
00:32:57,203 --> 00:32:58,795
What a shame you didn't drink it.
534
00:32:58,705 --> 00:33:03,369
If you had, perhaps you could've spent
your wedding night as a bullfrog.
535
00:33:06,713 --> 00:33:10,649
Don't worry, Samantha. I won't do it.
Witch's honor.
536
00:33:16,222 --> 00:33:19,680
My darling, we are quicksilver.
537
00:33:19,726 --> 00:33:21,216
We're a fleeting shadow.
538
00:33:22,228 --> 00:33:23,957
We're a distant sound.
539
00:33:24,230 --> 00:33:26,824
- That's your mother?
- We live on the wind...
540
00:33:27,233 --> 00:33:29,531
...in the sparkle of a star.
541
00:33:30,737 --> 00:33:33,331
And you want to trade all that
for an acre of crabgrass?
542
00:33:33,740 --> 00:33:36,470
Did she just call me
an acre of crabgrass?
543
00:33:36,743 --> 00:33:38,074
Deal with it, Derwood.
544
00:33:41,247 --> 00:33:43,477
Thank you. Thank you.
545
00:33:43,750 --> 00:33:44,910
Thank you!
546
00:33:48,204 --> 00:33:50,468
I want a piece of the show. Why?
547
00:33:50,757 --> 00:33:53,055
Because I put this thing together,
that's why.
548
00:33:53,259 --> 00:33:56,592
Because Jack Wyatt doesn't
parallel park without checking with me.
549
00:33:56,763 --> 00:33:58,890
Let me call you back. J-Bone!
550
00:33:58,765 --> 00:34:00,892
You're crushing it, baby.
Absolutely crushing it.
551
00:34:01,267 --> 00:34:03,098
- I think we got something.
- It's exciting.
552
00:34:03,269 --> 00:34:04,896
- How's Isabel doing?
- She's perfect.
553
00:34:05,271 --> 00:34:08,434
She looks hot and she lets you score
like a madman.
554
00:34:08,274 --> 00:34:09,366
I know. She's great.
555
00:34:09,776 --> 00:34:11,266
I can't believe you found her.
556
00:34:11,277 --> 00:34:12,574
You think she's gonna notice?
557
00:34:12,779 --> 00:34:16,112
What? That she doesn't have a part?
Not a chance. She's clueless.
558
00:34:16,282 --> 00:34:18,477
Plus, I think she's got
a little thing for you.
559
00:34:18,785 --> 00:34:21,185
It's freaking pathetic.
560
00:34:21,287 --> 00:34:22,720
- You think so?
- Yes.
561
00:34:23,289 --> 00:34:24,449
Man, that would be...
562
00:34:24,791 --> 00:34:27,760
Such a nightmare. I know.
Can you imagine?
563
00:34:27,794 --> 00:34:32,060
Although, she does have kind of
a cute little back end on her.
564
00:34:32,298 --> 00:34:35,131
I wouldn't kick her out of bed
for eating a box of crackers.
565
00:34:35,301 --> 00:34:36,563
Isabel?
566
00:34:38,805 --> 00:34:40,796
- Did she hear us?
- Not a chance.
567
00:34:41,307 --> 00:34:43,070
A couple of changes to the script.
568
00:34:43,309 --> 00:34:47,678
It was running a little long,
so we cut your lines.
569
00:34:48,314 --> 00:34:51,283
Think of it this way,
it's less to memorize.
570
00:34:52,318 --> 00:34:53,615
Sorry.
571
00:34:56,322 --> 00:34:57,584
Lunch!
572
00:35:11,337 --> 00:35:12,565
Isabel!
573
00:35:12,839 --> 00:35:17,902
I feel like a fool. A big, stupid,
sad fool, and yet I'm angry as well.
574
00:35:17,844 --> 00:35:18,970
What's going on?
575
00:35:19,345 --> 00:35:22,143
Let's set fire to his trailer.
Let's just do it.
576
00:35:22,348 --> 00:35:26,011
Isabel, this is awesome!
You're on TV.
577
00:35:26,352 --> 00:35:27,683
He lied to me.
578
00:35:27,854 --> 00:35:30,379
He tricked me.
He said he needed me.
579
00:35:30,356 --> 00:35:33,052
When all he needed was someone
to stand next to him...
580
00:35:33,359 --> 00:35:36,487
...while he says
his stupid clever lines.
581
00:35:39,866 --> 00:35:41,390
- Hi, I'm Maria.
- Nina.
582
00:35:44,871 --> 00:35:49,604
He seemed so messy and sincere.
But really, he's just a big fake.
583
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:52,469
We could electrocute him.
There's tons of wires around here.
584
00:35:52,879 --> 00:35:57,316
I wanna cry, I wanna break things.
I wanna hurt him.
585
00:35:57,383 --> 00:36:00,682
Yet there's a part of me that still
has a small amount of feeling for him.
586
00:36:01,387 --> 00:36:02,615
How can this be?
587
00:36:02,889 --> 00:36:06,484
When my first husband left me,
I wanted to cut the brakes in his car...
588
00:36:06,893 --> 00:36:10,385
...but instead we ended up
having sex on the elliptical machine.
589
00:36:10,897 --> 00:36:15,129
He doesn't understand who
he's dealing with. He has no idea.
590
00:36:15,401 --> 00:36:17,369
Look, you have three options:
591
00:36:17,403 --> 00:36:18,768
You put up with it...
592
00:36:18,905 --> 00:36:20,167
...quit...
593
00:36:20,406 --> 00:36:21,964
...or get mad.
594
00:36:24,410 --> 00:36:25,809
What would Samantha do?
595
00:36:39,425 --> 00:36:41,359
She chose mad, right?
596
00:37:04,951 --> 00:37:06,942
Okay, everybody, settle down.
597
00:37:07,453 --> 00:37:10,479
Okay, working very quietly,
like little mice.
598
00:37:10,456 --> 00:37:12,875
I don't want to see or hear
what you're doing.
599
00:37:12,875 --> 00:37:13,569
I don't want to see or hear
what you're doing.
600
00:37:14,460 --> 00:37:19,591
Okay, so, Isabel, just to refresh
your memory, Darrin's ex-girlfriend...
601
00:37:19,966 --> 00:37:21,331
I read the script.
602
00:37:21,467 --> 00:37:23,697
Okay. Well, let's just go over it
one more time.
603
00:37:23,970 --> 00:37:25,904
Oh, and we rehearsed it a lot.
604
00:37:25,972 --> 00:37:27,701
Well, I'm aware of that.
605
00:37:27,974 --> 00:37:31,967
Darrin's ex-girlfriend has invited you
both over for dinner.
606
00:37:31,978 --> 00:37:34,276
And Darrin forced you
to come with him...
607
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,574
He tricked me. Because he is
a self-centered has-been.
608
00:37:37,984 --> 00:37:40,578
No, no, baby, that's not it. No.
609
00:37:40,486 --> 00:37:44,422
Because he wants his dog back,
and then Darrin says his line:
610
00:37:44,490 --> 00:37:45,957
- "It's my dog.
- It's my dog.
611
00:37:46,492 --> 00:37:48,483
- I want him back."
- I want him back.
612
00:37:48,995 --> 00:37:51,156
It always kills me, Jack.
You ready to go?
613
00:37:51,497 --> 00:37:52,987
Let's do it. Let's do it.
614
00:37:52,999 --> 00:37:54,557
Saddle up. Rolling!
615
00:38:00,006 --> 00:38:01,132
Action!
616
00:38:01,507 --> 00:38:03,168
It's my dog.
617
00:38:03,009 --> 00:38:04,806
My dog!
618
00:38:05,011 --> 00:38:08,469
And I will die if I do not have him back.
Do you understand?!
619
00:38:10,016 --> 00:38:15,215
I will die if I do not have him back!
620
00:38:17,023 --> 00:38:18,183
Cut.
621
00:38:18,524 --> 00:38:23,257
Well, that was a bit much, Jack.
You wanna take it down a notch?
622
00:38:23,529 --> 00:38:24,553
Or five?
623
00:38:24,530 --> 00:38:27,863
You know what? Just keep it going.
Let me just go. I'll get it this time.
624
00:38:28,034 --> 00:38:29,160
Rolling!
625
00:38:30,536 --> 00:38:31,594
Action!
626
00:38:31,537 --> 00:38:34,904
Where art thou, dog?
627
00:38:35,541 --> 00:38:37,236
Thy canine lover.
628
00:38:37,543 --> 00:38:38,805
What's happening?
629
00:38:39,045 --> 00:38:42,845
Where is your hot breath
upon the nape of my neck?
630
00:38:43,049 --> 00:38:46,485
We shall form a bond of brotherhood:
man and beast.
631
00:38:46,552 --> 00:38:49,988
You shall lick my face
and I shall lick your snout.
632
00:38:50,056 --> 00:38:51,284
Cut. Jack.
633
00:38:51,557 --> 00:38:54,219
Guys, I'm not doing this on purpose,
I swear to you.
634
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:55,857
Okay. All right.
635
00:38:56,062 --> 00:38:57,188
Rolling.
636
00:39:09,575 --> 00:39:12,567
Oh, my God. Where's my dog?
637
00:39:12,578 --> 00:39:16,139
Totally. I have a totally great dog.
638
00:39:21,087 --> 00:39:22,850
Jack. Jack. What are you doing?
639
00:39:25,591 --> 00:39:30,858
This is where the dog has to decide
between Darrin's ex and Darrin.
640
00:39:31,097 --> 00:39:34,498
Samantha wiggles her nose
and the dog chooses Darrin.
641
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,192
Rolling!
642
00:39:37,103 --> 00:39:40,334
I know how we can solve this, Darrin.
We'll let Satchel decide.
643
00:39:40,606 --> 00:39:42,437
That's a great idea.
644
00:39:42,608 --> 00:39:45,702
- Come to Daddy, Satchel.
- Look! Good boy.
645
00:39:45,611 --> 00:39:47,238
- Come to Mommy.
- Good boy.
646
00:39:47,613 --> 00:39:50,605
- Satchel...
- Okay, Isabel, wiggle your nose.
647
00:39:51,117 --> 00:39:52,846
Satchel. Satchel. Come to Mommy.
648
00:39:52,618 --> 00:39:54,518
- Satchel. Satchel.
- Come on. Come on. Up!
649
00:39:55,621 --> 00:39:58,112
- Right here. Come to Daddy.
- Come to Mommy, Satchel.
650
00:39:59,125 --> 00:40:00,353
I got it, Jack. I got it.
651
00:40:00,626 --> 00:40:02,594
Don't you dare go to Daddy.
Come to Mommy!
652
00:40:02,628 --> 00:40:05,062
- No, no, no. You love Daddy.
- Come on, Satchel.
653
00:40:05,131 --> 00:40:06,723
- Come on.
- Come on.
654
00:40:08,134 --> 00:40:09,533
Satchel, come to Mommy.
655
00:40:09,635 --> 00:40:12,365
- He's coming. He's coming.
- He's just sitting there.
656
00:40:12,638 --> 00:40:13,866
Come on! Come on, boy!
657
00:40:14,140 --> 00:40:15,539
To Mommy, Satchel.
658
00:40:19,645 --> 00:40:21,806
- Cut!
- Jim, what's going on here?
659
00:40:22,148 --> 00:40:23,809
Joey!
660
00:40:25,151 --> 00:40:28,314
If the dog runs to you again, try this.
661
00:40:31,657 --> 00:40:32,783
Come to Daddy, Satchel.
662
00:40:32,658 --> 00:40:34,182
Satchel, come to Mommy.
663
00:40:34,660 --> 00:40:35,922
Come on! Come on, Satchel.
664
00:40:36,662 --> 00:40:38,857
- Come on, boy, please?
- To Mommy.
665
00:40:39,165 --> 00:40:40,393
Good girl.
666
00:40:40,666 --> 00:40:43,533
Please, boy, come on!
Jump, boy! Jump!
667
00:40:45,171 --> 00:40:47,867
Thank God you didn't have
a Great Dane.
668
00:40:50,676 --> 00:40:52,200
Damn it!
669
00:40:53,679 --> 00:40:55,044
Cut!
670
00:40:58,184 --> 00:41:00,015
Darling, that was marvelous.
671
00:41:00,186 --> 00:41:02,654
But... Watch out for that.
672
00:41:05,191 --> 00:41:06,783
Please don't say anything.
673
00:41:06,692 --> 00:41:08,182
Calm down, you're not alone.
674
00:41:09,195 --> 00:41:11,629
- I'm not?
- No.
675
00:41:12,698 --> 00:41:15,690
- Are there others?
- There are many others.
676
00:41:16,202 --> 00:41:19,933
Many actors, they develop tricks...
677
00:41:20,206 --> 00:41:22,003
...twitches, really.
678
00:41:22,708 --> 00:41:25,302
You don't want to
become mannered.
679
00:41:25,211 --> 00:41:27,475
- Oh, no, I don't.
- No.
680
00:41:28,214 --> 00:41:29,841
Thank you, Iris.
681
00:41:48,734 --> 00:41:49,758
Hello.
682
00:41:50,236 --> 00:41:51,362
Daddy, what...?
683
00:41:51,737 --> 00:41:55,434
If it isn't my spell-casting magical
daughter who gave up witchcraft.
684
00:41:55,741 --> 00:41:57,641
You've had quite a day today,
haven't you?
685
00:41:57,743 --> 00:42:00,769
I was provoked. I fell off the wagon.
It was a one-time thing.
686
00:42:08,254 --> 00:42:10,085
So you're not in love
with him anymore?
687
00:42:10,256 --> 00:42:12,622
I have never disliked a man
more in my entire life...
688
00:42:12,758 --> 00:42:14,953
...which proves that I am
completely over him.
689
00:42:15,261 --> 00:42:17,286
Not necessarily. In fact...
690
00:42:17,763 --> 00:42:21,290
Besides, it was just a crush, which is
an intense but superficial attraction...
691
00:42:21,267 --> 00:42:24,759
...that can easily be mistaken for
something deeper. Now go away.
692
00:42:28,774 --> 00:42:31,140
I have a crush on Endora.
693
00:42:31,277 --> 00:42:32,608
What?!
694
00:42:37,783 --> 00:42:39,683
Daddy, where are you?
695
00:42:41,787 --> 00:42:45,279
I said, I have a crush on Endora.
696
00:42:45,791 --> 00:42:48,157
- Daddy! No.
- So lovely.
697
00:42:48,294 --> 00:42:50,694
Her name is not Endora. It's Iris.
698
00:42:50,796 --> 00:42:52,957
Iris. A spring flower.
699
00:42:53,299 --> 00:42:54,630
You can't.
700
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,327
Now that I turned out to be so wrong
about him, my job is all that I've got.
701
00:42:58,304 --> 00:43:00,795
- Please don't mess it up.
- How could I do that?
702
00:43:01,307 --> 00:43:03,002
You'll sleep with her,
cheat on her...
703
00:43:02,808 --> 00:43:05,402
...she'll go crazy
and she'll take it out on me.
704
00:43:05,811 --> 00:43:09,577
I don't want you to get involved
with Iris. I mean it.
705
00:43:09,815 --> 00:43:11,749
You can't stop being a witch.
706
00:43:11,817 --> 00:43:14,012
I can too. You'll see.
707
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,481
- Cannot.
- Can too.
708
00:43:16,322 --> 00:43:18,722
- Just accept it.
- Never.
709
00:43:20,242 --> 00:43:21,470
Tell me about Bewitched.
710
00:43:21,827 --> 00:43:25,058
Some have said it's a crass attempt
by the network to market nostalgia...
711
00:43:24,830 --> 00:43:27,492
... rather than take a risk
on new ideas.
712
00:43:27,833 --> 00:43:31,667
This isn't the old Bewitched.
It's been refocused.
713
00:43:31,837 --> 00:43:34,704
Let's just say the only thing
I won't be doing is this:
714
00:43:39,845 --> 00:43:42,643
So you leave the nose-wiggling
to the witch.
715
00:43:42,848 --> 00:43:44,110
But you do it so well.
716
00:43:44,850 --> 00:43:47,478
Well, I don't know about that.
I did coach her, though.
717
00:43:47,853 --> 00:43:50,344
Can we get a close-up
on the nose?
718
00:43:50,356 --> 00:43:51,755
I'd rather not.
719
00:43:52,358 --> 00:43:53,586
Which camera?
720
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:55,827
Here? Okay.
721
00:43:59,365 --> 00:44:00,889
Shall we discuss...
722
00:44:00,866 --> 00:44:03,858
... dare we discuss,
Last Year in Katmandu?
723
00:44:03,869 --> 00:44:05,166
Hi, Nina.
724
00:44:05,871 --> 00:44:09,170
Yes! Yes, I am watching him.
725
00:44:10,376 --> 00:44:11,502
What's a dick?
726
00:44:11,877 --> 00:44:14,437
Mo one ever sets out
to make a bad movie.
727
00:44:15,381 --> 00:44:19,283
What does that have to do
with how obnoxious he is being?
728
00:44:19,385 --> 00:44:21,353
Some movies are career-enders.
729
00:44:21,887 --> 00:44:24,287
Right. Right, we need a plan.
730
00:44:24,390 --> 00:44:25,948
What went wrong?
731
00:44:25,891 --> 00:44:27,825
You know, I hate to point fingers...
732
00:44:27,893 --> 00:44:30,259
... but I'm gonna blame
the wardrobe department.
733
00:44:30,396 --> 00:44:31,590
The wardrobe department?
734
00:44:32,398 --> 00:44:33,695
I think it got in the way.
735
00:44:33,899 --> 00:44:35,560
Maybe I should quit.
736
00:44:35,901 --> 00:44:37,368
Honey, you can't quit.
737
00:44:37,403 --> 00:44:39,735
Why not? Isn't that what people do?
738
00:44:39,905 --> 00:44:41,463
He has to quit, not you.
739
00:44:41,407 --> 00:44:42,965
Yeah, like that's ever
gonna happen.
740
00:44:43,409 --> 00:44:45,001
We have to make him quit.
741
00:44:44,910 --> 00:44:47,777
If we get naked pictures of him
and pictures of farm animals...
742
00:44:47,913 --> 00:44:49,437
...I could just Photoshop them.
743
00:44:49,915 --> 00:44:51,109
That's an excellent idea.
744
00:44:50,916 --> 00:44:52,975
No, no, no. Wait.
Calm down. Calm down.
745
00:44:53,419 --> 00:44:56,980
No, no, no, this not what I wanted.
I wanted something normal.
746
00:44:57,923 --> 00:44:59,891
What should I do?
747
00:45:20,446 --> 00:45:21,572
Oh, my.
748
00:45:24,450 --> 00:45:26,315
What a mess.
749
00:45:26,452 --> 00:45:29,910
Your Aunt Clara used to be able
to make a clean landing.
750
00:45:30,456 --> 00:45:31,889
Aunt Clara?
751
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,757
Oh, Aunt Clara.
752
00:45:36,962 --> 00:45:40,295
Oh, thank goodness you're here.
753
00:45:40,466 --> 00:45:45,062
I am in the middle of a total,
total crisis at work. I'm quitting.
754
00:45:45,471 --> 00:45:47,996
You mustn't quit.
The show must go on.
755
00:45:47,973 --> 00:45:49,304
Isabel, are you all right?
756
00:45:49,475 --> 00:45:53,104
Oh, my friends... I have friends...
They don't know we're witches.
757
00:45:53,479 --> 00:45:55,174
Mum's the word.
758
00:45:55,481 --> 00:45:58,609
You know, there was an Aunt Clara
on the original Bewitched.
759
00:45:58,484 --> 00:45:59,883
What a coincidence!
760
00:45:59,985 --> 00:46:01,919
She was a witch.
761
00:46:02,488 --> 00:46:04,080
So am I.
762
00:46:06,992 --> 00:46:09,483
She was always screwing up.
763
00:46:09,995 --> 00:46:12,486
- Really?
- I have made up my mind.
764
00:46:12,498 --> 00:46:16,366
I am quitting tomorrow and I'll do
something else, like sailing...
765
00:46:17,002 --> 00:46:18,970
...or polishing fruit.
766
00:46:19,004 --> 00:46:22,030
It's too bad you're not a witch,
you could put a hex on Jack.
767
00:46:22,007 --> 00:46:24,635
Oh, I can. I certainly can.
768
00:46:25,010 --> 00:46:26,307
Who is Jack?
769
00:46:26,512 --> 00:46:28,002
The reason I'm quitting.
770
00:46:28,514 --> 00:46:30,744
Well, why not put a hex on him.
771
00:46:31,517 --> 00:46:33,075
Because I'm giving it up.
772
00:46:33,018 --> 00:46:34,610
- Just a little one.
- Aunt Clara.
773
00:46:35,020 --> 00:46:37,853
Just to get him to behave.
774
00:46:38,023 --> 00:46:39,581
I'll do it.
775
00:46:41,026 --> 00:46:44,826
And then I can keep my job.
Which would help my self-esteem.
776
00:46:45,030 --> 00:46:47,055
You know, there's only
one problem with a hex.
777
00:46:47,032 --> 00:46:48,556
There's no such thing as magic.
778
00:46:49,535 --> 00:46:51,059
So...
779
00:46:51,036 --> 00:46:53,129
...what's your idea,
Little Miss Doubtful?
780
00:46:53,539 --> 00:46:56,030
- Well, I have a Taser.
- Nina.
781
00:46:56,041 --> 00:47:00,341
I think we should Taser him and throw
him into the shark tank at SeaWorld.
782
00:47:01,046 --> 00:47:05,676
No. You think we should do a hex.
783
00:47:07,553 --> 00:47:10,317
I think we should do a hex.
784
00:47:17,563 --> 00:47:19,531
Pinch of jasmine.
785
00:47:20,065 --> 00:47:21,692
Wolfbane.
786
00:47:22,067 --> 00:47:23,728
Grapefruit pith.
787
00:47:24,570 --> 00:47:25,764
Grapefruit pith.
788
00:47:26,071 --> 00:47:27,538
I feel so alive.
789
00:47:28,073 --> 00:47:30,303
I feel like one of those people
I'd make fun of.
790
00:47:30,576 --> 00:47:32,806
I feel like I believe in unicorns.
791
00:47:33,078 --> 00:47:36,479
Did I put in the wolfbane?
I can't remember.
792
00:47:37,082 --> 00:47:39,778
- Aunt Clara.
- Thank you, darling. Thank you.
793
00:47:40,586 --> 00:47:42,019
Oh, well.
794
00:48:02,608 --> 00:48:04,200
Isabel.
795
00:48:06,612 --> 00:48:07,738
Isabel, bo-bel
796
00:48:07,613 --> 00:48:09,308
Bonana-fana fo-fel
797
00:48:09,615 --> 00:48:11,276
Fee-fy-fo-fel
798
00:48:11,617 --> 00:48:12,709
Isabel
799
00:48:12,618 --> 00:48:14,085
"The Name Game"!
800
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,588
- Oh, boy.
- Good morning.
801
00:48:18,123 --> 00:48:20,523
Randall, take that stupid sign
off that machine.
802
00:48:20,626 --> 00:48:22,355
Free cappuccinos for everyone.
803
00:48:25,130 --> 00:48:27,462
- How we doing? Anyone seen Isabel?
- No, why?
804
00:48:27,633 --> 00:48:29,225
Because I miss her.
805
00:48:29,134 --> 00:48:30,999
- Listen, Jack.
- Yes?
806
00:48:31,136 --> 00:48:34,071
We got the test scores
from the pilot...
807
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:37,040
How did Isabel do?
Ninety-nine percent in the top box!
808
00:48:37,142 --> 00:48:39,975
Why didn't you tell me?
This is great news.
809
00:48:40,145 --> 00:48:42,579
Of course she got a 99 percent.
Because she's dynamite.
810
00:48:42,648 --> 00:48:44,206
Absolute dynamite.
811
00:48:45,150 --> 00:48:46,674
High-fives all the way around.
812
00:48:46,652 --> 00:48:49,280
But, Jack, there is a problem.
Your scores...
813
00:48:49,655 --> 00:48:53,455
Thirty-two percent.
That's better than zero, huh?
814
00:48:53,158 --> 00:48:55,149
You know what?
That's constructive criticism.
815
00:48:56,662 --> 00:48:59,688
The dog scored higher than me.
He's a cute dog.
816
00:48:59,665 --> 00:49:01,030
What do the comment cards say?
817
00:49:01,166 --> 00:49:02,827
Oh, they don't really...
818
00:49:03,168 --> 00:49:05,363
"Jack Wyatt is a real tool."
819
00:49:06,171 --> 00:49:08,662
But a good tool. Like a Jacksaw!
820
00:49:08,674 --> 00:49:12,542
You know what? Who cares? This just
means we got hard work to do, okay?
821
00:49:12,678 --> 00:49:15,579
Hey, I never said I was perfect.
The important thing is Isabel.
822
00:49:16,181 --> 00:49:17,512
- Isabel.
- Yeah, no question.
823
00:49:17,683 --> 00:49:19,150
- Agreed?
- Totally on board.
824
00:49:19,184 --> 00:49:20,981
Good morning, everyone.
825
00:49:21,186 --> 00:49:22,483
There she is!
826
00:49:22,688 --> 00:49:26,556
Is it just my imagination, or is the room
actually brighter with her here?
827
00:49:27,192 --> 00:49:30,389
Look at this bundle
of miraculous talent.
828
00:49:30,696 --> 00:49:34,757
Forget 99, I give her 100! 100!
829
00:49:36,702 --> 00:49:38,260
Rehearsing!
830
00:49:38,203 --> 00:49:39,602
"Interior, apartment, day.
831
00:49:40,205 --> 00:49:44,699
Samantha and Darrin are sitting
in their overcrowded apartment."
832
00:49:45,210 --> 00:49:48,270
Darrin, I think we should buy a house
and I found one that I love.
833
00:49:48,714 --> 00:49:50,545
You nailed that!
834
00:49:50,716 --> 00:49:53,810
I'm about to have a heart attack.
Isn't she great?
835
00:49:54,219 --> 00:49:57,017
And now I kiss her, because
she's in love with our new house.
836
00:49:57,222 --> 00:49:59,520
Oh, you can't kiss me.
I'm not in this scene.
837
00:49:59,725 --> 00:50:01,124
- You're not in the scene?
- No.
838
00:50:01,226 --> 00:50:05,287
No, no, no. She isn't in the scene?
This isn't happening! What?!
839
00:50:05,731 --> 00:50:09,223
She has to be in every scene!
Okay?
840
00:50:09,234 --> 00:50:12,601
Rewrite! Go! Rewrite.
841
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:16,070
Everyone, Isabel needs a joke.
842
00:50:16,742 --> 00:50:18,334
I would love a joke.
843
00:50:18,744 --> 00:50:19,972
One joke, coming up.
844
00:50:20,245 --> 00:50:22,736
Oh, and then I kiss her
because she's so funny.
845
00:50:22,748 --> 00:50:24,648
And a job. She needs a job.
846
00:50:24,750 --> 00:50:28,948
Yes! Yes! Make this woman the CEO
of a multinational corporation.
847
00:50:29,254 --> 00:50:31,620
- Good idea, Jack.
- No. Great idea.
848
00:50:31,757 --> 00:50:34,555
And then I kiss her
because she's so powerful.
849
00:50:38,380 --> 00:50:40,780
It's too much, what happened?
850
00:50:41,934 --> 00:50:44,459
Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara?
851
00:50:44,436 --> 00:50:47,269
Please pick up the phone,
something terrible is happening.
852
00:50:47,439 --> 00:50:49,873
Something terrible is happening.
853
00:50:50,442 --> 00:50:52,876
I know, I know.
It wasn't supposed to, and...
854
00:50:52,945 --> 00:50:55,140
You should never,
ever get involved with an actor.
855
00:50:55,447 --> 00:50:58,075
I'm not involved with him,
I don't think.
856
00:50:57,950 --> 00:51:00,418
- Witch's honor?
- What?
857
00:51:01,453 --> 00:51:03,045
I'm just being Endora.
858
00:51:04,456 --> 00:51:08,790
Isabel, actors look normal,
sometimes better than normal.
859
00:51:08,961 --> 00:51:12,055
But deep down,
there is no deep down.
860
00:51:11,964 --> 00:51:13,898
I thought you were safe.
He loathed you.
861
00:51:13,966 --> 00:51:15,433
What on earth happened?
862
00:51:15,968 --> 00:51:17,993
A little witchcraft, I suspect.
863
00:51:17,970 --> 00:51:21,064
Even though we weren't going to do it,
were we, darling?
864
00:51:21,473 --> 00:51:24,874
I'm Nigel Bigelow, I'm Isabel's father.
How do you do?
865
00:51:24,977 --> 00:51:27,309
Daddy, we talked about this,
remember?
866
00:51:27,980 --> 00:51:30,414
- I'm...
- I know who you are.
867
00:51:30,482 --> 00:51:32,143
I've seen everything
you've ever done.
868
00:51:32,484 --> 00:51:36,011
Lysistrata in Florence,
Blithe Spirit in New York.
869
00:51:36,488 --> 00:51:39,389
- Daddy!
- But your Endora is a marvel.
870
00:51:39,491 --> 00:51:41,288
It comes so easily, really.
871
00:51:41,493 --> 00:51:43,757
Oh, yes, because I am a witch.
872
00:51:43,996 --> 00:51:45,258
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yes.
873
00:51:44,997 --> 00:51:48,797
I put out all the lights in
Leicester Square just by walking past.
874
00:51:49,001 --> 00:51:50,866
Oh, tell me more.
Tell me everything.
875
00:51:51,003 --> 00:51:53,938
- Oh, please come in.
- Charmed.
876
00:51:56,508 --> 00:51:58,499
This is just... What...?
877
00:51:59,011 --> 00:52:00,376
Isabel!
878
00:52:00,512 --> 00:52:03,640
Hey! Isabel! Isabel!
879
00:52:04,516 --> 00:52:08,213
Hi! Listen, maybe we could go
to dinner tonight. God, I'm so nervous.
880
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,353
- I don't think so, I have to get home.
- We won't make it a date.
881
00:52:11,523 --> 00:52:14,185
I'll just happen to stop by
and ask if you're hungry.
882
00:52:14,526 --> 00:52:15,925
- No.
- Yes! That's a yes!
883
00:52:16,028 --> 00:52:17,620
- No!
- I'll be by at great.
884
00:52:18,030 --> 00:52:19,657
I mean, I'll be by at 8.
885
00:52:20,032 --> 00:52:22,660
Stop by if you need anything.
I'm right here. Okay.
886
00:52:27,539 --> 00:52:29,268
Aunt Clara!
887
00:52:29,541 --> 00:52:32,533
Undo it! Undo it!
You overdid it! Undo it!
888
00:52:32,544 --> 00:52:34,535
- Oh, dear.
- Aunt Clara!
889
00:52:34,546 --> 00:52:39,040
I'm not too sure how to undo it.
Undoing it's not the same as doing it.
890
00:52:39,551 --> 00:52:43,248
He wants to have dinner.
This isn't what I wanted.
891
00:52:43,055 --> 00:52:44,283
Lorna Doone?
892
00:52:44,556 --> 00:52:45,818
No!
893
00:52:46,058 --> 00:52:50,392
Darling, I'm sure you can undo the hex
if you really want to.
894
00:52:51,063 --> 00:52:52,894
I'm expected in Japan.
895
00:52:55,567 --> 00:52:57,194
That certainly didn't work, did it?
896
00:53:01,073 --> 00:53:02,540
Aunt Clara?
897
00:53:03,075 --> 00:53:05,771
Aunt Clara,
come back here right now.
898
00:53:06,078 --> 00:53:08,876
He's gonna be here any minute.
Aunt Clara!
899
00:53:09,081 --> 00:53:11,914
But that doesn't matter,
because I'm not going out with him.
900
00:53:12,084 --> 00:53:14,177
No, no, I'm not. I'm not!
901
00:53:14,086 --> 00:53:15,610
Oh, I'd better...
902
00:53:19,591 --> 00:53:21,422
Oh, who cares what I look like.
903
00:53:21,593 --> 00:53:23,185
I'm just gonna undo the hex.
904
00:53:23,595 --> 00:53:25,790
I'm not even gonna bother
dressing up.
905
00:53:39,111 --> 00:53:43,639
I'm just gonna open the door,
undo it and slam the door in his face!
906
00:53:44,616 --> 00:53:47,744
Hey. I just happened to be in the
neighborhood with these roses...
907
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:49,781
...and a Cat Stevens CD...
908
00:53:49,621 --> 00:53:50,883
...and this bracelet...
909
00:53:51,123 --> 00:53:52,420
...and I thought I'd stop by.
910
00:53:53,125 --> 00:53:55,252
- You're sweating.
- Like a pig.
911
00:53:55,627 --> 00:53:57,754
Oh, how divine.
912
00:54:02,634 --> 00:54:04,158
You look stunning.
913
00:54:04,636 --> 00:54:06,661
No! Ravishing.
914
00:54:06,638 --> 00:54:09,004
You look "stunnishing."
915
00:54:12,144 --> 00:54:13,611
Is this your purse?
916
00:54:17,149 --> 00:54:18,514
You're not too cold, are you?
917
00:54:19,151 --> 00:54:20,880
- No.
- You're not too warm?
918
00:54:20,652 --> 00:54:21,914
Okay.
919
00:54:23,155 --> 00:54:25,180
- Are we going somewhere?
- Dinner.
920
00:54:25,657 --> 00:54:27,818
Here. Here you go.
921
00:54:29,661 --> 00:54:31,754
I wanna know everything.
922
00:54:31,663 --> 00:54:35,622
You talk, okay?
I'm just gonna listen.
923
00:54:36,168 --> 00:54:39,968
Shed your radiance
and I'll just soak it up like a plant.
924
00:54:40,172 --> 00:54:41,469
Start in kindergarten.
925
00:54:42,674 --> 00:54:45,370
I didn't go to kindergarten.
I was homeschooled.
926
00:54:45,677 --> 00:54:47,941
You were homeschooled? So was I.
927
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:50,773
How amazing. That's freaky.
928
00:54:51,183 --> 00:54:52,343
I'm getting chills.
929
00:54:52,684 --> 00:54:54,652
Yeah, that is kind of amazing.
930
00:54:54,686 --> 00:54:56,176
My parents were hippies.
Were yours?
931
00:54:56,188 --> 00:54:58,713
- No.
- That's so weird!
932
00:54:59,191 --> 00:55:02,422
My parents were hippies,
and yours weren't. What are the odds?
933
00:55:02,694 --> 00:55:04,491
But we did have incense
and candles.
934
00:55:04,696 --> 00:55:06,129
- So did we.
- You did?
935
00:55:06,198 --> 00:55:07,859
To this day,
incense makes me puke.
936
00:55:07,699 --> 00:55:08,893
Yes, me too!
937
00:55:09,201 --> 00:55:10,896
- Amazing!
- Wow.
938
00:55:11,203 --> 00:55:12,568
I brought duck.
939
00:55:13,205 --> 00:55:14,433
I love duck.
940
00:55:14,706 --> 00:55:17,140
So do I. How amazing is that?
941
00:55:17,209 --> 00:55:18,699
Well, most people love duck.
942
00:55:19,211 --> 00:55:20,906
You know what? No, they don't.
943
00:55:20,712 --> 00:55:22,737
Wait. I wrote you a song.
944
00:55:23,715 --> 00:55:25,410
No one's ever written me a song.
945
00:55:25,217 --> 00:55:26,980
Well, I did.
946
00:55:29,221 --> 00:55:33,419
Hey, pretty lady
947
00:55:33,725 --> 00:55:37,718
Come back here with my heart
948
00:55:38,230 --> 00:55:42,530
Hey, pretty lady
949
00:55:42,734 --> 00:55:45,897
Are you a dream made real?
950
00:55:46,238 --> 00:55:50,140
My soul, you have healed
951
00:55:50,242 --> 00:55:53,336
Make me a better man
952
00:55:53,745 --> 00:55:57,977
I wanna set up residence
953
00:55:58,250 --> 00:56:01,879
In your promised land
954
00:56:02,254 --> 00:56:05,348
Okay, and this is
the power ballad guitar solo.
955
00:56:11,263 --> 00:56:12,321
Promised land!
956
00:56:12,764 --> 00:56:14,254
Now you sing the chorus.
957
00:56:15,267 --> 00:56:16,962
Promised land
958
00:56:18,770 --> 00:56:20,294
Drum solo.
959
00:56:22,274 --> 00:56:23,434
Promised land!
960
00:56:23,775 --> 00:56:25,208
Leg kick.
961
00:56:25,777 --> 00:56:27,904
Okay, I'm gonna break the guitar.
962
00:56:27,779 --> 00:56:29,474
Promised land!
963
00:56:34,286 --> 00:56:36,015
Promised land!
964
00:56:46,298 --> 00:56:48,095
We're about to kiss, aren't we?
965
00:56:48,300 --> 00:56:51,133
I thought so, but thanks for ruining
the moment, Miss Narrator.
966
00:56:54,806 --> 00:56:56,364
Oh, my ruby jewel.
967
00:56:58,810 --> 00:57:01,278
- What?
- My chocolate-covered strawberry.
968
00:57:02,314 --> 00:57:04,578
I wanna bask in our love...
969
00:57:04,316 --> 00:57:07,251
...like a house cat lying in the sun.
970
00:57:08,820 --> 00:57:11,516
Jack, Jack, Jack.
Stop. Stop. I forgot.
971
00:57:11,823 --> 00:57:13,723
Oh, I let myself forget.
972
00:57:13,825 --> 00:57:16,123
It was so nice,
I couldn't help myself, and...
973
00:57:16,828 --> 00:57:18,090
Oh, Jack!
974
00:57:18,330 --> 00:57:20,992
This is sad. This is... No.
975
00:57:21,333 --> 00:57:23,198
Let's make love in a hot-air balloon.
976
00:57:23,335 --> 00:57:25,565
Let's make love in a candy factory.
977
00:57:26,338 --> 00:57:27,896
Let's make love in a petting zoo.
978
00:57:28,256 --> 00:57:29,689
I have to undo this, I do.
979
00:57:29,841 --> 00:57:32,742
Let's make love at SeaWorld,
on the back of a killer whale.
980
00:57:32,844 --> 00:57:35,278
Because it doesn't mean anything
unless it's real.
981
00:57:45,857 --> 00:57:48,155
What witches wish
Mo mortal needs
982
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:51,818
Let time repent
And unsow its seeds
983
00:57:51,863 --> 00:57:56,664
And now, I speak the ancient word
of redemption and regret:
984
00:57:56,868 --> 00:57:58,733
Rewind.
985
00:58:33,405 --> 00:58:35,771
So you leave the nose-wiggling
to the witch.
986
00:58:35,907 --> 00:58:38,705
- But you do it so well.
- I did coach her, though.
987
00:58:38,910 --> 00:58:41,435
Can we get a close-up
on the nose?
988
00:58:41,413 --> 00:58:42,710
I'd rather not.
989
00:58:43,415 --> 00:58:44,712
Which camera?
990
00:58:46,418 --> 00:58:48,511
Hello, Nina.
991
00:58:48,420 --> 00:58:50,752
I just knew it was you, that's all.
992
00:58:50,922 --> 00:58:54,858
Yes, he is. He is a giant
male reproductive organ.
993
00:58:55,427 --> 00:58:58,294
We don't need a plan, I already know
what I'm gonna do.
994
00:58:58,430 --> 00:59:00,864
I'm gonna speak to him
about his behavior.
995
00:59:00,932 --> 00:59:05,733
I'm gonna talk to him sensibly and
directly, and I know he will change.
996
00:59:05,937 --> 00:59:07,734
You'll see. Bye.
997
00:59:11,943 --> 00:59:14,434
Butt out, Samantha,
I know what I'm doing.
998
00:59:17,949 --> 00:59:19,348
I mean it.
999
00:59:21,703 --> 00:59:23,170
Jack, Jack, bo-back
1000
00:59:22,954 --> 00:59:24,785
Bonana-fana fo-fack
1001
00:59:24,956 --> 00:59:26,821
Fee-fi-bo-back
1002
00:59:26,958 --> 00:59:28,118
Jack
1003
00:59:29,461 --> 00:59:32,760
Guys, make me 20 cappuccinos.
Bring me the best one.
1004
00:59:32,964 --> 00:59:34,955
Hey, J-Bone. Hey, buddy.
1005
00:59:35,467 --> 00:59:36,798
The test scores are in.
1006
00:59:36,968 --> 00:59:39,163
How'd I do? Ninety?
Hundred? One-twenty.
1007
00:59:39,471 --> 00:59:40,733
- One-forty!
- Good ballpark.
1008
00:59:40,472 --> 00:59:43,464
What did it say?
I got it. I got it right here.
1009
00:59:43,975 --> 00:59:45,203
Thirty-two.
1010
00:59:45,477 --> 00:59:46,910
I got a 32?
1011
00:59:47,479 --> 00:59:48,810
Is that for real?
1012
00:59:49,481 --> 00:59:50,948
The dog scored higher than I did.
1013
00:59:50,982 --> 00:59:54,110
Well, it's not you, Jack, it's Darrin.
1014
00:59:54,486 --> 00:59:57,717
"That Jack Wyatt is a real tool.
We hate him.
1015
00:59:57,989 --> 01:00:00,480
We mean the actor,
not the character."
1016
01:00:01,993 --> 01:00:03,551
Get a grip.
1017
01:00:05,497 --> 01:00:07,021
Hug me.
1018
01:00:07,499 --> 01:00:08,966
Come here.
1019
01:00:12,003 --> 01:00:15,461
I'm gonna be doing dinner theater
in Boca Raton.
1020
01:00:15,507 --> 01:00:18,237
They hate the show,
the whole show.
1021
01:00:18,510 --> 01:00:19,670
They hate everyone on it.
1022
01:00:20,011 --> 01:00:21,444
- Yeah, everybody.
- They did. Yep.
1023
01:00:21,513 --> 01:00:23,310
Isabel must've gotten savaged.
1024
01:00:24,516 --> 01:00:26,313
She got a 99?!
1025
01:00:26,518 --> 01:00:27,849
Ninety-nine? Is this for real?
1026
01:00:28,019 --> 01:00:29,418
Is that a joke?
1027
01:00:29,521 --> 01:00:31,682
She didn't say anything!
1028
01:00:32,023 --> 01:00:34,218
How is it that someone
who doesn't say anything...
1029
01:00:34,526 --> 01:00:36,824
...scores higher than someone
who had all the lines?
1030
01:00:37,529 --> 01:00:38,621
Oh, my...
1031
01:00:38,530 --> 01:00:40,725
Did anyone anticipate this
as a possibility?
1032
01:00:41,032 --> 01:00:42,590
Hindsight's 20l20.
1033
01:00:43,034 --> 01:00:45,434
- Good morning, everyone.
- And they think I'm a tool?!
1034
01:00:45,537 --> 01:00:47,903
I haven't been called a tool
since I was 15!
1035
01:00:48,039 --> 01:00:50,872
Thank you, guys! Thank you!
1036
01:00:51,042 --> 01:00:54,637
You know what?
No one ever liked Darrin! No one!
1037
01:00:55,046 --> 01:00:57,241
Why did we ever think
that was gonna change?
1038
01:00:57,048 --> 01:00:58,276
I have something to say.
1039
01:00:58,550 --> 01:01:02,145
This is unbelievable! A 32?
1040
01:01:02,554 --> 01:01:04,818
That's for real?
A three in front of a two?
1041
01:01:04,556 --> 01:01:05,716
Oh, my God!
1042
01:01:06,057 --> 01:01:07,581
Wait, I have something to say.
1043
01:01:07,559 --> 01:01:09,754
A 32 and she got 99?!
1044
01:01:10,061 --> 01:01:11,221
Were they high?!
1045
01:01:11,563 --> 01:01:13,929
Were the people
in the test group high?
1046
01:01:14,566 --> 01:01:16,295
Did we drug test them?
1047
01:01:16,568 --> 01:01:20,129
Were they just sitting in the studio,
smoking crack, saying:
1048
01:01:20,071 --> 01:01:24,735
"Let's give her a 99 and him a 32.
By the way, I'm high on crack"?!
1049
01:01:25,076 --> 01:01:27,306
I have something to say!
1050
01:01:27,579 --> 01:01:28,739
What?!
1051
01:01:28,580 --> 01:01:29,774
You're a jerk.
1052
01:01:30,582 --> 01:01:31,810
What did you just say?
1053
01:01:35,086 --> 01:01:37,452
I said, you're a jerk!
1054
01:01:38,590 --> 01:01:40,888
Everything is about you.
1055
01:01:41,092 --> 01:01:44,186
You are selfish.
And you are self-centered.
1056
01:01:44,596 --> 01:01:47,963
And you lied to me, you said you
needed me. You don't need anyone!
1057
01:01:48,099 --> 01:01:51,068
Listen, sweetie, why don't you go to
your trailer and take a Midol?
1058
01:01:51,102 --> 01:01:53,229
Hey! You be quiet,
or I'll give you a tail!
1059
01:01:54,606 --> 01:01:56,369
- Just calm down.
- You sit down!
1060
01:01:58,109 --> 01:01:59,542
Sit down!
1061
01:02:02,113 --> 01:02:04,911
This show is supposed to be
about a marriage.
1062
01:02:05,116 --> 01:02:10,213
A real marriage, with real problems,
like what color to paint the kitchen...
1063
01:02:10,622 --> 01:02:13,648
...or, I don't know, other problems,
I can't even think of them now.
1064
01:02:13,625 --> 01:02:15,855
But the only problems you care about
are your own!
1065
01:02:16,127 --> 01:02:19,654
No wonder the audience
doesn't like this show!
1066
01:02:20,131 --> 01:02:21,894
A witch marries a mortal.
1067
01:02:22,133 --> 01:02:24,727
Who in their right mind
would want to marry you?
1068
01:02:24,636 --> 01:02:26,501
- Hey!
- Excuse me. That's it. You're fired.
1069
01:02:27,639 --> 01:02:30,506
Doesn't matter. I quit!
1070
01:02:31,643 --> 01:02:33,975
Yeah! So...
1071
01:02:34,646 --> 01:02:36,136
...you better call my agent.
1072
01:02:36,147 --> 01:02:37,375
You don't have an agent.
1073
01:02:38,149 --> 01:02:40,379
Then call my cable man!
1074
01:02:50,662 --> 01:02:52,562
Sorry. So...
1075
01:02:53,164 --> 01:02:54,222
You all right?
1076
01:02:54,666 --> 01:02:56,827
No one's talked to me like that
in 20 years.
1077
01:02:56,668 --> 01:02:58,932
Once a week a woman
talks to me like that.
1078
01:02:59,170 --> 01:03:02,264
She just stripped me bare
and stuck the knife in.
1079
01:03:02,674 --> 01:03:04,767
Let's go to The Peninsula
and get some oysters.
1080
01:03:04,676 --> 01:03:06,075
You know what I think?
1081
01:03:06,177 --> 01:03:09,908
- Hey. The woman needs a part.
- I'm sorry?
1082
01:03:10,181 --> 01:03:12,843
I mean, if you got Sammy Sosa,
you don't bench him.
1083
01:03:13,184 --> 01:03:16,620
If you got Gorbachev in the ballet,
you let him dance the big number.
1084
01:03:16,688 --> 01:03:18,519
I don't think Gorbachev
was a dancer.
1085
01:03:18,690 --> 01:03:22,148
Yes, he was, Richie,
he absolutely was. Look it up.
1086
01:03:27,699 --> 01:03:29,860
Isabel! Hey!
1087
01:03:30,201 --> 01:03:31,634
Hey, Isabel!
1088
01:03:31,703 --> 01:03:33,534
Wait, wait, wait, don't go!
1089
01:03:33,705 --> 01:03:34,967
Isabel!
1090
01:03:35,206 --> 01:03:38,698
Please don't go. Please don't go.
That was incredible.
1091
01:03:38,710 --> 01:03:40,974
- What?
- Just now. That.
1092
01:03:41,212 --> 01:03:44,978
I mean, you yelled at me.
You were up-front, and honest...
1093
01:03:45,216 --> 01:03:47,878
...and you called me out
on all my crap.
1094
01:03:48,219 --> 01:03:50,153
It was just great.
1095
01:03:50,221 --> 01:03:52,018
Oh, God, I'm hyperventilating.
1096
01:03:52,223 --> 01:03:53,815
I've never done anything like this.
1097
01:03:54,225 --> 01:03:57,217
It was very hard,
but secretly quite thrilling.
1098
01:03:57,228 --> 01:04:01,289
Even my ex-wife, she never yelled.
She just locked me out.
1099
01:04:01,232 --> 01:04:04,167
In my family,
we usually just disappear.
1100
01:04:04,736 --> 01:04:08,103
No, no, don't disappear, Isabel.
One more show.
1101
01:04:08,239 --> 01:04:09,536
One more show.
1102
01:04:09,741 --> 01:04:12,938
- I don't think so.
- No, one more taping. Please?
1103
01:04:12,744 --> 01:04:17,204
It's just that I'm feeling that...
I'm feeling like maybe...
1104
01:04:17,749 --> 01:04:20,775
- I'm sorry.
- What'd you say?
1105
01:04:21,753 --> 01:04:24,813
I'm sorry for how I've been.
I'm sorry.
1106
01:04:25,256 --> 01:04:26,416
You're sweating again.
1107
01:04:26,257 --> 01:04:27,724
I know, just...
1108
01:04:28,259 --> 01:04:30,022
I just... Look, one more.
1109
01:04:29,761 --> 01:04:31,626
I love it when you sweat.
1110
01:04:32,263 --> 01:04:34,925
One more! Just one more.
1111
01:04:34,766 --> 01:04:38,634
And the second I'm being a jerk,
you can yell, "Hey! He's being a jerk!"
1112
01:04:38,770 --> 01:04:40,829
And we'll shut the whole thing down,
I promise.
1113
01:04:41,272 --> 01:04:43,035
We'll burn down the sets...
1114
01:04:43,274 --> 01:04:46,175
...and sell the costumes,
and give the money to little children.
1115
01:04:46,277 --> 01:04:48,108
I mean, that's one
possible scenario.
1116
01:04:48,279 --> 01:04:50,338
You want me to say
"He's being a jerk"?
1117
01:04:50,782 --> 01:04:52,511
Yeah. Or you can yell, I mean...
1118
01:04:52,784 --> 01:04:54,581
He's being a jerk!
1119
01:04:54,786 --> 01:04:57,220
He's being a jerk!
1120
01:04:57,288 --> 01:04:58,721
Yes.
1121
01:05:02,293 --> 01:05:05,285
I can't just walk back in there now.
1122
01:05:05,296 --> 01:05:08,163
Once you show up on a golf cart,
believe me, all is forgiven.
1123
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:10,097
I've done it a lot of times.
1124
01:05:10,301 --> 01:05:13,168
But I was fired.
Oh, no. That's right, I quit.
1125
01:05:13,304 --> 01:05:15,829
Yeah. Here, let me carry your plant.
1126
01:05:25,316 --> 01:05:26,908
Honey, your mother's here.
1127
01:05:27,318 --> 01:05:28,683
Are you two getting along?
1128
01:05:28,820 --> 01:05:30,447
Not exactly.
1129
01:05:34,325 --> 01:05:36,316
- Like this?
- You're doing great.
1130
01:05:36,828 --> 01:05:38,989
Really, really great. One more time.
1131
01:05:54,846 --> 01:05:58,577
So it says here that marriage
can lead to a loss of passion.
1132
01:05:58,850 --> 01:06:03,014
It's true.
I feel empty and bored already.
1133
01:06:09,861 --> 01:06:12,455
- Oh, great. It's you.
- Mother!
1134
01:06:12,864 --> 01:06:14,855
I see you two are
actually getting along?
1135
01:06:14,866 --> 01:06:17,767
Endora, you rancid fruit bag,
get out of my room.
1136
01:06:18,369 --> 01:06:21,099
- Darrin!
- And my daughter is happy?
1137
01:06:20,872 --> 01:06:25,104
That is the cruelest twist of all.
1138
01:06:28,379 --> 01:06:33,214
I am happy, Darrin.
Real, honest, no-spells happy.
1139
01:06:37,388 --> 01:06:39,015
And cut!
1140
01:06:42,894 --> 01:06:44,088
Actors, cut.
1141
01:06:47,899 --> 01:06:49,890
Really, cut now.
1142
01:06:50,401 --> 01:06:51,652
You were great today.
Just absolutely amazing.
1143
01:06:51,652 --> 01:06:53,586
You were great today.
Just absolutely amazing.
1144
01:06:53,905 --> 01:06:55,896
I don't think I've ever had
so much fun.
1145
01:06:55,907 --> 01:06:57,670
Acting is fun.
1146
01:06:58,409 --> 01:07:00,775
That is a profoundly true thing.
1147
01:07:02,914 --> 01:07:04,347
Would you like a water chestnut?
1148
01:07:04,415 --> 01:07:06,883
I'd love a water chestnut.
1149
01:07:13,925 --> 01:07:16,086
I'm gonna teach you
everything I know...
1150
01:07:16,427 --> 01:07:17,621
...starting with...
1151
01:07:18,429 --> 01:07:20,056
...the eye thing.
1152
01:07:20,431 --> 01:07:23,229
The famous crazy-eye thing
of mine.
1153
01:07:23,434 --> 01:07:24,799
Okay?
1154
01:07:28,940 --> 01:07:31,534
This almost won me
a Golden Globe.
1155
01:07:31,442 --> 01:07:33,000
Almost.
1156
01:07:34,445 --> 01:07:36,140
- Is that it?
- That's good.
1157
01:07:36,948 --> 01:07:38,711
Oh, that's even better.
1158
01:07:38,950 --> 01:07:42,408
This is the "I just realized things
are worse than they seem" thing.
1159
01:07:42,453 --> 01:07:44,478
Also known as "the Yikes Take."
1160
01:07:46,958 --> 01:07:47,982
Yikes!
1161
01:07:49,460 --> 01:07:50,859
Wow.
1162
01:07:51,462 --> 01:07:52,827
Yikes!
1163
01:07:53,464 --> 01:07:54,658
- That was terrible.
- It's okay.
1164
01:07:54,966 --> 01:07:57,935
- No, I was terrible.
- I don't think mine was good, either.
1165
01:07:58,970 --> 01:08:00,870
That's it. I'm out of tricks.
1166
01:08:00,972 --> 01:08:03,532
- What about the funny walk you do?
- The funny walk?
1167
01:08:03,474 --> 01:08:05,101
- You don't wanna see the walk.
- I do.
1168
01:08:05,476 --> 01:08:06,704
Funny walk is embarrassing.
1169
01:08:06,978 --> 01:08:08,309
I'd like to see it.
1170
01:08:08,479 --> 01:08:09,912
Yeah?
1171
01:08:10,982 --> 01:08:13,507
Okay. Let's go to our place.
1172
01:08:16,487 --> 01:08:18,352
Magic hour.
1173
01:08:24,996 --> 01:08:27,430
- Is that it?
- That's great.
1174
01:08:28,499 --> 01:08:30,831
It's much harder than it looks.
1175
01:08:53,024 --> 01:08:55,288
Five, six, seven, eight.
1176
01:09:09,540 --> 01:09:11,440
- Move back!
- Hey!
1177
01:10:08,683 --> 01:10:12,380
Something magical happened
all by itself.
1178
01:10:16,190 --> 01:10:18,021
Table read in 10 minutes!
1179
01:10:18,192 --> 01:10:19,420
Okay, close it up!
1180
01:10:20,194 --> 01:10:22,560
- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning, Jack.
1181
01:10:25,199 --> 01:10:28,362
Look, Jack, I just need to talk to you
about a couple of these things.
1182
01:10:28,703 --> 01:10:30,898
Number one,
we're thinking about moving...
1183
01:10:31,205 --> 01:10:34,231
...the whole kitchen scene.
Just... It's such...
1184
01:10:34,208 --> 01:10:35,436
It's a funny scene.
1185
01:10:35,710 --> 01:10:38,941
It's really funny.
We'd like to get it in a little earlier.
1186
01:10:39,213 --> 01:10:42,808
So probably what we're gonna do is
switch it with the office.
1187
01:10:44,218 --> 01:10:47,585
But we're gonna drop that
to a little later on in the show.
1188
01:10:49,223 --> 01:10:53,023
Dude. Dudes, are you watching Jack
throw the vibe to Isabel right now?
1189
01:10:53,227 --> 01:10:54,956
How are you?
1190
01:10:58,232 --> 01:10:59,927
I'm great.
1191
01:11:05,239 --> 01:11:06,729
That's for you.
1192
01:11:06,741 --> 01:11:08,265
Thank you.
1193
01:11:10,745 --> 01:11:12,713
- Call me.
- That's fantastic.
1194
01:11:12,747 --> 01:11:14,214
Stop.
1195
01:11:14,749 --> 01:11:15,909
Fine.
1196
01:11:15,750 --> 01:11:18,014
Yeah. I mean,
I can find something for him.
1197
01:11:18,252 --> 01:11:21,915
I'll put him in a little part with maybe
no lines or anything like that.
1198
01:11:22,256 --> 01:11:24,884
What is going on
between you and Jack?
1199
01:11:24,759 --> 01:11:26,351
Nothing is going on.
1200
01:11:26,761 --> 01:11:28,752
We had a date and we kissed...
1201
01:11:28,763 --> 01:11:31,391
...and now we just wanna spend
all of our time together.
1202
01:11:31,766 --> 01:11:34,758
That is the very definition
of something going on.
1203
01:11:34,769 --> 01:11:39,172
And you know what?
I didn't use any tricks. I am trick-free.
1204
01:11:39,273 --> 01:11:41,503
Oh, my God, it's her.
1205
01:11:42,777 --> 01:11:44,108
- Who?
- Jack's wife.
1206
01:11:44,278 --> 01:11:48,112
I saw a picture of her in InStyle
when she was the fashion "don't."
1207
01:11:48,282 --> 01:11:50,375
Excuse me. I'm looking for Jack.
1208
01:11:50,284 --> 01:11:52,377
You must be Samantha.
1209
01:11:52,787 --> 01:11:54,482
You look just like the old one.
1210
01:11:55,289 --> 01:11:57,086
Thank you so much.
1211
01:11:57,291 --> 01:11:59,191
Oh, excuse me.
1212
01:11:59,794 --> 01:12:01,091
Love the nose.
1213
01:12:01,796 --> 01:12:02,820
Good work.
1214
01:12:03,798 --> 01:12:07,290
There he is. There's my guy.
1215
01:12:07,301 --> 01:12:09,064
I've missed him so much.
1216
01:12:09,303 --> 01:12:14,138
Let's just say the "Do Not Disturb" sign
will be on the doorknob tonight.
1217
01:12:18,813 --> 01:12:20,474
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, God!
1218
01:12:20,815 --> 01:12:23,716
Help me lift it. Help me lift it.
Slowly, slowly, slowly.
1219
01:12:23,818 --> 01:12:25,445
That was a little harsh.
1220
01:12:30,324 --> 01:12:31,655
I've missed him so much.
1221
01:12:32,326 --> 01:12:36,888
Let's just say the "Do Not Disturb" sign
will be on the doorknob tonight.
1222
01:12:38,833 --> 01:12:41,324
- Sheila.
- Hi, baby.
1223
01:12:41,836 --> 01:12:43,269
What are you doing here?
1224
01:12:43,337 --> 01:12:46,272
You want my car?
My grandmother's brooch.
1225
01:12:46,340 --> 01:12:48,774
Oh! You want more money.
1226
01:12:48,843 --> 01:12:51,277
Ding-ding-ding! Correct answer.
1227
01:12:51,846 --> 01:12:53,143
No.
1228
01:12:54,348 --> 01:12:57,249
- I want you back.
- What about Captain Underpants?
1229
01:12:57,351 --> 01:13:00,946
I'm through with him.
I love you, Jack.
1230
01:13:01,355 --> 01:13:04,688
Oh, wait, wait, I get it. You heard
that the show's getting picked up.
1231
01:13:04,859 --> 01:13:07,020
I heard it's gonna be a hit.
1232
01:13:07,361 --> 01:13:09,352
But so what?
1233
01:13:09,864 --> 01:13:13,027
I want you. I want my husband.
1234
01:13:15,870 --> 01:13:18,338
You know, a week ago
I would've fallen for that.
1235
01:13:20,374 --> 01:13:22,604
But now there's someone else.
1236
01:13:22,877 --> 01:13:25,778
Someone who's incapable of guile.
1237
01:13:25,880 --> 01:13:26,938
What's guile?
1238
01:13:27,882 --> 01:13:29,110
I'm not gonna do it.
1239
01:13:29,383 --> 01:13:30,873
I think it means tricks.
1240
01:13:33,387 --> 01:13:36,117
- I love you, baby.
- No, I'm not.
1241
01:13:38,392 --> 01:13:40,087
Maybe I will.
1242
01:13:47,902 --> 01:13:50,598
- What the heck is going on?!
- Joey.
1243
01:13:50,905 --> 01:13:53,567
This place is spooked. I quit.
1244
01:13:53,407 --> 01:13:55,136
Joey. Joey, come back here.
1245
01:13:55,409 --> 01:13:57,741
Get me a mirror! Jack!
1246
01:13:58,412 --> 01:14:00,573
- Jack!
- Are you okay?
1247
01:14:01,415 --> 01:14:02,939
Am I okay?!
1248
01:14:02,917 --> 01:14:05,852
And one more time.
1249
01:14:06,921 --> 01:14:12,120
I'm fine. And I'm signing
the divorce papers right now.
1250
01:14:12,927 --> 01:14:14,451
You are?
1251
01:14:15,930 --> 01:14:17,261
Maybe two.
1252
01:14:18,432 --> 01:14:21,697
And I'm moving out of the house
this afternoon.
1253
01:14:22,436 --> 01:14:24,097
Where are you going?
1254
01:14:24,939 --> 01:14:26,497
Reykjavík.
1255
01:14:27,441 --> 01:14:29,568
- Where is it?
- Iceland.
1256
01:14:30,444 --> 01:14:32,412
I love ice.
1257
01:14:32,947 --> 01:14:36,644
Goodbye, everyone!
I'm off to Reykjavík!
1258
01:14:38,953 --> 01:14:40,181
Oh, my God.
1259
01:14:40,454 --> 01:14:42,012
Everyone, did you just see that?
1260
01:14:41,956 --> 01:14:44,720
She's gonna sign the papers!
This is incredible.
1261
01:14:44,959 --> 01:14:45,459
- Isabel.
- Party at my house!
1262
01:14:45,459 --> 01:14:47,484
- Isabel.
- Party at my house!
1263
01:14:47,545 --> 01:14:49,206
You're out of control.
1264
01:15:15,573 --> 01:15:19,236
Every time I think I have things
nailed down, I just lose it.
1265
01:15:19,577 --> 01:15:23,240
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.
It's gonna be okay.
1266
01:15:23,581 --> 01:15:26,243
Oh, whoa. Who is that?
1267
01:15:26,083 --> 01:15:27,573
No, Maria. No.
1268
01:15:28,085 --> 01:15:29,575
Too late.
1269
01:15:30,087 --> 01:15:31,679
Second of all, like...
1270
01:15:32,590 --> 01:15:36,993
Everyone, can I have your attention,
please? I just wanna say a few words.
1271
01:15:38,095 --> 01:15:41,462
Randall, can we deal with this?
Thank you.
1272
01:15:43,601 --> 01:15:47,332
Where do I start? What a night.
Is everyone having fun? Yeah?
1273
01:15:47,104 --> 01:15:52,406
Great. I'm so grateful
for so many things tonight.
1274
01:15:53,611 --> 01:15:57,809
The show, all of you amazing
and talented people...
1275
01:15:58,115 --> 01:16:00,709
...and especially Isabel.
1276
01:16:02,119 --> 01:16:04,314
To a woman who'd never trick me
into thinking...
1277
01:16:04,622 --> 01:16:06,647
...she was something she wasn't.
1278
01:16:08,125 --> 01:16:10,593
From now on,
everyone tells the truth. Okay?
1279
01:16:11,128 --> 01:16:13,323
Except if I don't look good,
say I do anyway.
1280
01:16:18,135 --> 01:16:21,662
Isabel, you are a beautiful person.
1281
01:16:22,139 --> 01:16:23,401
And that's the truth.
1282
01:16:23,641 --> 01:16:25,199
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
1283
01:16:25,643 --> 01:16:26,837
Have a great time.
1284
01:16:27,144 --> 01:16:28,338
Cheers.
1285
01:16:28,145 --> 01:16:29,942
Don't break anything, okay?
1286
01:16:30,147 --> 01:16:32,138
- We won't, Jack.
- Thank you.
1287
01:16:42,159 --> 01:16:43,683
I hope that touching speech...
1288
01:16:44,161 --> 01:16:46,629
...hasn't made you think
that you should tell the truth.
1289
01:16:46,664 --> 01:16:48,427
- I'm going to.
- Oh, don't be silly.
1290
01:16:48,666 --> 01:16:52,158
And he's gonna accept me. He's got to.
You can't live with a secret like that.
1291
01:16:52,169 --> 01:16:55,070
Of course you can.
For thousands of years.
1292
01:16:55,673 --> 01:16:59,234
Don't do it. Big mistake. Won't work.
1293
01:16:59,677 --> 01:17:02,646
Well, hello there.
Now, don't tell me...
1294
01:17:02,680 --> 01:17:04,409
Coconut shrimps.
1295
01:17:04,682 --> 01:17:06,115
Oh, yes. Would you like one?
1296
01:17:06,183 --> 01:17:07,650
Yes. Thank you.
1297
01:17:07,685 --> 01:17:10,552
Do you know, you're quite fetching.
1298
01:17:11,188 --> 01:17:12,917
And I'm Nigel Bigelow.
1299
01:17:14,692 --> 01:17:19,652
Yes. I will sleep with you because
I have a thing for father figures.
1300
01:17:19,697 --> 01:17:20,823
Well, that's great, then.
1301
01:17:21,198 --> 01:17:23,962
But in the morning, I will not get
90 percent of your jokes...
1302
01:17:23,701 --> 01:17:27,831
...and I'll go on and on about
opening an aerobics center in Agoura.
1303
01:17:33,210 --> 01:17:34,905
Are you looking for me?
1304
01:17:34,712 --> 01:17:36,407
Missing you, actually.
1305
01:17:37,214 --> 01:17:39,648
- How strange.
- Not really.
1306
01:17:53,731 --> 01:17:57,326
I'm just gonna say it like it's
a completely matter-of-fact thing.
1307
01:17:57,234 --> 01:17:59,395
- Guess what.
- What?
1308
01:17:59,737 --> 01:18:01,466
I'm a witch.
1309
01:18:02,239 --> 01:18:05,037
- Guess what.
- What?
1310
01:18:05,242 --> 01:18:07,107
I'm a Clippers fan.
1311
01:18:09,246 --> 01:18:11,476
Yeah, it's not like it's a big deal.
1312
01:18:11,749 --> 01:18:16,083
I'm not a bad witch, and we're getting
it out there and telling the truth, right?
1313
01:18:16,253 --> 01:18:18,847
Right. And I'm not just a fan.
1314
01:18:18,756 --> 01:18:21,088
I made the mistake of buying
courtside seats.
1315
01:18:21,258 --> 01:18:25,752
No, no, no, really. Jack. Jack, I am.
l, Isabel Bigelow, I'm a witch.
1316
01:18:25,763 --> 01:18:28,231
Okay, great. So you're a witch.
1317
01:18:28,766 --> 01:18:30,631
Come on, let's make out
in the hall closet.
1318
01:18:30,768 --> 01:18:32,827
- Jack.
- Okay, okay, I'll play along.
1319
01:18:32,770 --> 01:18:35,295
Like it's an improv. Prove it.
1320
01:18:36,273 --> 01:18:40,209
So I just said, "Listen, you guys,
I believe Cher has another hit in her."
1321
01:18:40,277 --> 01:18:41,869
- Really?
- Yeah.
1322
01:18:42,279 --> 01:18:44,474
Wow, fantastic trick.
1323
01:18:44,782 --> 01:18:46,044
Not a trick.
1324
01:18:48,285 --> 01:18:50,480
Whoa! How'd you do that?
1325
01:18:51,288 --> 01:18:54,052
To the most powerful witch ever.
1326
01:18:54,291 --> 01:18:56,316
Can you make an umbrella appear
in this drink?
1327
01:18:56,293 --> 01:18:57,555
- I can.
- Really?
1328
01:18:58,295 --> 01:19:00,320
That's amazing.
1329
01:19:00,798 --> 01:19:03,631
I had no idea you were
an amateur magician.
1330
01:19:04,802 --> 01:19:08,101
Hey. Wait. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, I'm talking to you.
1331
01:19:08,305 --> 01:19:10,865
Hey, Isabel. I'm...
1332
01:19:11,308 --> 01:19:15,711
Jack, listen to me, I was born a witch,
my parents are witches, I'm a witch.
1333
01:19:16,313 --> 01:19:17,940
- A real witch.
- That's right, Isabel.
1334
01:19:17,815 --> 01:19:19,749
- You go, girl.
- Isabel, you tell him.
1335
01:19:22,319 --> 01:19:23,684
That is cool. That's great.
1336
01:19:23,821 --> 01:19:26,790
You are very frustrating.
1337
01:19:27,825 --> 01:19:30,555
Do you have some Daniel Day-Lewis
thing happening here?
1338
01:19:32,329 --> 01:19:33,762
How's it going?
1339
01:19:33,831 --> 01:19:35,389
I'm leaving.
1340
01:19:38,836 --> 01:19:40,394
Thank you.
1341
01:19:44,341 --> 01:19:47,242
Hey there. I have hepatitis C.
1342
01:19:51,348 --> 01:19:53,043
Isabel? Isabel.
1343
01:19:53,350 --> 01:19:57,616
Isabel, what's going on?
Come back to the party.
1344
01:19:57,855 --> 01:20:00,915
What are you...?
Where are you going? What...?
1345
01:20:01,859 --> 01:20:03,918
Wow. That's really cool.
Did Props make that?
1346
01:20:03,861 --> 01:20:06,386
- I keep trying to tell you...
- Can I get your car, miss?
1347
01:20:06,864 --> 01:20:09,162
She doesn't need her car,
she has her broomstick.
1348
01:20:08,866 --> 01:20:10,959
- You think I'm nuts, don't you?
- Of course not.
1349
01:20:11,368 --> 01:20:14,963
I know plenty of women who
carry around collapsible broomsticks.
1350
01:20:15,372 --> 01:20:18,307
- I'll get the car.
- It won't be there, I sent it home.
1351
01:20:18,375 --> 01:20:20,570
This looks so real.
I can't even see the buttons.
1352
01:20:20,878 --> 01:20:22,368
It is real.
1353
01:20:22,880 --> 01:20:24,074
Flies too.
1354
01:20:23,881 --> 01:20:25,314
Oh, I'd love to see that.
1355
01:20:25,883 --> 01:20:27,407
- Hang on.
- What?
1356
01:20:34,391 --> 01:20:35,858
Put me down!
1357
01:20:40,898 --> 01:20:42,195
I kept trying to tell you.
1358
01:20:44,902 --> 01:20:46,369
It's no big deal, Jack.
1359
01:20:46,904 --> 01:20:49,065
- It's no big deal.
- This is a huge deal!
1360
01:20:48,906 --> 01:20:51,170
We can work this out.
It's just who I happen to be.
1361
01:20:51,408 --> 01:20:52,705
- Get away from me.
- What?
1362
01:20:52,910 --> 01:20:54,537
You tricked me!
You put spells on me!
1363
01:20:54,912 --> 01:20:57,779
Well, only a few, yes, I did.
But I took most of them off.
1364
01:20:57,915 --> 01:20:59,678
Help! Someone help!
1365
01:21:01,418 --> 01:21:03,852
Jack. I thought this would be okay.
1366
01:21:03,921 --> 01:21:05,218
How would it be okay?!
1367
01:21:05,422 --> 01:21:07,151
Because it's me. It's still me.
1368
01:21:07,424 --> 01:21:10,518
- I'm a little freaked out now.
- I know, but I can't change what I am.
1369
01:21:10,427 --> 01:21:12,759
- Are you crazy? Are you even human?
- Jack!
1370
01:21:12,930 --> 01:21:14,295
- Am I gonna get pregnant?
- What?
1371
01:21:14,932 --> 01:21:16,627
Because I can't get pregnant
right now!
1372
01:21:16,433 --> 01:21:18,298
How does this work?
Will I get webbed feet?
1373
01:21:18,435 --> 01:21:19,629
You're hurting my feelings.
1374
01:21:19,937 --> 01:21:21,461
Shoo! Shoo!
1375
01:21:21,438 --> 01:21:22,632
- Shoo?
- Shoo!
1376
01:21:22,940 --> 01:21:25,408
- Now you're making me angry!
- Go! Scat!
1377
01:21:25,442 --> 01:21:26,807
- You want me to leave?
- Yes!
1378
01:21:26,944 --> 01:21:28,206
- Fine!
- Fine!
1379
01:21:28,445 --> 01:21:29,707
- Fine!
- Fine!
1380
01:21:29,947 --> 01:21:31,073
Goodbye, Jack.
1381
01:21:42,459 --> 01:21:44,222
You jerk!
1382
01:21:53,470 --> 01:21:56,200
Sorry, Mr. Wyatt, I can't find her car.
1383
01:22:14,992 --> 01:22:17,119
So she quit. So what?
1384
01:22:16,994 --> 01:22:18,222
How's Jack taking all this?
1385
01:22:18,495 --> 01:22:21,623
Let me tell you guys something.
Jack Wyatt's like a jet fighter pilot.
1386
01:22:21,999 --> 01:22:25,298
Nothing rattles him.
I'm sure he's just at the gym.
1387
01:22:25,502 --> 01:22:28,403
Hey, okay. Stop holding my arm.
1388
01:22:28,505 --> 01:22:31,633
Found him picking up pennies
out of a shopping-mall water fountain.
1389
01:22:32,009 --> 01:22:35,308
Thank you so much, officer.
How much do I tip you for that?
1390
01:22:35,512 --> 01:22:37,673
- You don't tip me.
- Hey, Jack.
1391
01:22:37,514 --> 01:22:38,708
- Hey, all.
- Hey, big guy.
1392
01:22:39,016 --> 01:22:40,506
- How's it going?
- What's up, Jack?
1393
01:22:40,517 --> 01:22:41,575
- You all right?
- Boy.
1394
01:22:42,019 --> 01:22:45,284
Yeah, I'm all right.
I've never been better. Come on.
1395
01:22:45,522 --> 01:22:47,820
What's the bottle of ketchup for?
1396
01:22:48,025 --> 01:22:49,424
- Come again?
- The...
1397
01:22:51,028 --> 01:22:54,088
Oh. Forgot to leave it
at this diner in Mexico.
1398
01:22:54,531 --> 01:22:56,465
Don't freak out on us, Jack.
1399
01:22:56,533 --> 01:22:59,001
- You're fired.
- Classic.
1400
01:23:00,037 --> 01:23:01,299
- Anyone have a light?
- Yo.
1401
01:23:01,038 --> 01:23:02,335
- I do.
- Right here, pal.
1402
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:04,803
Everybody. Let's just calm down.
1403
01:23:05,042 --> 01:23:09,035
We've only shot two episodes.
We've got 10 weeks before we air.
1404
01:23:09,546 --> 01:23:12,640
- So we recast. Piece of cake.
- Next.
1405
01:23:12,549 --> 01:23:15,347
I don't know. It'll be hard to find
somebody with those scores.
1406
01:23:15,552 --> 01:23:16,883
It's good scores, good scores.
1407
01:23:17,054 --> 01:23:18,817
- She's a witch.
- That's more like it.
1408
01:23:19,056 --> 01:23:21,217
You just keep
telling yourself that, man.
1409
01:23:21,558 --> 01:23:22,582
I'm fine, really.
1410
01:23:22,559 --> 01:23:26,188
I mean, last night I ate three burritos
and smashed every dish in my house.
1411
01:23:27,064 --> 01:23:30,556
Isabel. You can't let this guy
ruin your life.
1412
01:23:30,567 --> 01:23:32,262
They're recasting your role.
1413
01:23:32,569 --> 01:23:34,833
They're recasting my role already?
1414
01:23:35,072 --> 01:23:38,098
- Well, you quit.
- Tough town.
1415
01:23:38,575 --> 01:23:41,271
- I mean, like, what happened?
- He said I wasn't human.
1416
01:23:41,578 --> 01:23:45,378
And he waved a tree branch
at me. Like:
1417
01:23:46,083 --> 01:23:47,448
There must be a solution.
1418
01:23:47,584 --> 01:23:49,142
No, there isn't.
1419
01:23:49,086 --> 01:23:53,955
We're at the Coffee Bean
and there is no solution.
1420
01:23:54,591 --> 01:23:56,218
I love you, Jack!
1421
01:23:56,093 --> 01:23:57,993
Jack, I dreamt about you last night!
1422
01:23:58,595 --> 01:24:00,529
Jack, remember me? Amber?
1423
01:24:04,101 --> 01:24:05,591
Oh, my stars.
1424
01:24:05,602 --> 01:24:08,935
Darrin's coming home
and I haven't even made dinner.
1425
01:24:15,112 --> 01:24:16,170
What?
1426
01:24:16,113 --> 01:24:17,944
You're great. You want anything?
1427
01:24:19,616 --> 01:24:21,709
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much, that was...
1428
01:24:21,618 --> 01:24:22,915
Thank you.
1429
01:24:48,645 --> 01:24:50,442
Boo! Trick or treat!
1430
01:24:52,649 --> 01:24:54,310
You guys look great.
1431
01:24:55,652 --> 01:24:56,983
Happy Halloween.
1432
01:24:58,155 --> 01:24:59,349
Mommy!
1433
01:25:00,157 --> 01:25:03,149
I'm sorry I don't have any candy.
1434
01:25:14,671 --> 01:25:17,231
Hi, everyone, and welcome
once again to Jeopardy!
1435
01:25:17,674 --> 01:25:20,165
Another exciting half-hour
of answers and questions...
1436
01:25:20,177 --> 01:25:23,578
... with these categories
in our first round of play.
1437
01:25:26,683 --> 01:25:29,208
First off, "Cheese. "
1438
01:25:29,686 --> 01:25:34,123
Mext, "Things That End In '-Zing. "'
1439
01:25:36,193 --> 01:25:38,457
I have no idea where we are.
1440
01:25:38,695 --> 01:25:41,960
I mean, I literally could not find
Vietnam on a map.
1441
01:25:42,199 --> 01:25:43,791
And now we're about to die here?
1442
01:25:45,202 --> 01:25:47,261
I think it's next to Argentina.
1443
01:25:47,204 --> 01:25:49,832
Well, at least nobody shot at us yet.
1444
01:25:52,709 --> 01:25:54,370
Yikes! That's not good.
1445
01:25:54,711 --> 01:25:55,871
"Yikes."
1446
01:26:05,222 --> 01:26:07,690
I think the lions are here, Atticus.
1447
01:26:13,230 --> 01:26:17,098
And there's Willy,
doing his famous Willy Walk.
1448
01:26:33,250 --> 01:26:35,184
Sherpa!
1449
01:26:40,257 --> 01:26:42,157
We've got to go.
1450
01:26:45,762 --> 01:26:49,596
Don't look at me like that.
It's the only solution.
1451
01:26:55,772 --> 01:27:00,175
Isabel, would you please join me
in the dining alcove? Thank you.
1452
01:27:02,279 --> 01:27:03,507
Daddy?
1453
01:27:03,780 --> 01:27:05,839
Something very odd is happening.
1454
01:27:05,782 --> 01:27:09,684
It's not odd, it's what you predicted.
I'm leaving.
1455
01:27:10,287 --> 01:27:12,187
I can't stop thinking about Iris.
1456
01:27:12,289 --> 01:27:14,416
You were right. I don't belong here.
1457
01:27:14,291 --> 01:27:18,819
I find myself uninterested in any other
woman. Now, that's not natural.
1458
01:27:19,296 --> 01:27:22,265
- Do you think there's a chance that...
- What?
1459
01:27:22,299 --> 01:27:23,926
That she might be a witch?
1460
01:27:24,301 --> 01:27:25,495
Don't be silly.
1461
01:27:25,302 --> 01:27:27,270
And she put a spell on me?
1462
01:27:27,804 --> 01:27:28,964
Please.
1463
01:27:28,805 --> 01:27:33,469
Why not? You're a witch. I'm a witch.
She could be a witch.
1464
01:27:33,810 --> 01:27:35,402
I guess she could.
1465
01:27:35,812 --> 01:27:36,972
What else could it be?
1466
01:27:38,315 --> 01:27:39,805
Love.
1467
01:27:47,324 --> 01:27:50,725
Isn't there a spell that can
make you stop crying?
1468
01:27:50,827 --> 01:27:52,658
No, darling, there isn't.
1469
01:27:53,330 --> 01:27:57,027
He's idiotic, and yet I find him
completely charming.
1470
01:27:57,334 --> 01:27:59,700
It's been like that
since the beginning.
1471
01:27:59,836 --> 01:28:03,465
Only now, I also hate him.
1472
01:28:04,341 --> 01:28:05,774
Love.
1473
01:28:08,845 --> 01:28:11,439
Daddy, what am I gonna do?
1474
01:28:11,848 --> 01:28:12,872
Go home.
1475
01:28:13,350 --> 01:28:14,442
Where's that?
1476
01:28:14,851 --> 01:28:16,978
Wherever you've been the happiest.
1477
01:28:17,354 --> 01:28:19,379
Perhaps I'll go to Aruba.
1478
01:28:19,856 --> 01:28:23,587
- Aruba?
- But then again, perhaps I won't.
1479
01:28:31,951 --> 01:28:33,646
I don't know if I'm loving my haircut.
1480
01:28:33,870 --> 01:28:36,964
Well, Conan, I can't believe
you're bringing this up.
1481
01:28:36,873 --> 01:28:40,934
No. No. No, no, no. I'm not gonna
tell that story. There's no way.
1482
01:28:41,378 --> 01:28:44,040
Okay, okay, if you insist.
1483
01:28:44,381 --> 01:28:49,444
It was last June, and I actually cast
this witch as a witch...
1484
01:28:49,886 --> 01:28:52,354
...and now brooms make me cry.
1485
01:28:52,389 --> 01:28:56,291
I can't sleep, and I don't know
what's real or what's the TV show.
1486
01:28:56,393 --> 01:28:57,792
Hi-de-ho!
1487
01:28:58,395 --> 01:29:01,887
Look what the cat dragged in.
Somebody is retaining water.
1488
01:29:01,898 --> 01:29:04,628
Uncle Arthur. It's you.
1489
01:29:04,901 --> 01:29:07,335
Oh, no, you're gonna crack the mirror,
aren't you?
1490
01:29:07,404 --> 01:29:09,065
You watch too much television.
1491
01:29:09,406 --> 01:29:11,840
- I know you'll do it. You always do.
- Don't be silly.
1492
01:29:11,908 --> 01:29:14,775
Come closer. Do I have something
in my teeth right there?
1493
01:29:14,911 --> 01:29:15,969
- Where?
- Look!
1494
01:29:21,418 --> 01:29:22,646
That was fun!
1495
01:29:23,920 --> 01:29:26,320
Where's Sammy?
Where's my Sammy?
1496
01:29:26,423 --> 01:29:28,789
She quit. Now, leave me alone.
1497
01:29:29,426 --> 01:29:30,723
But she was the one.
1498
01:29:30,427 --> 01:29:33,692
I know, I know.
I can't stop thinking about her.
1499
01:29:33,930 --> 01:29:36,455
- But she's a witch.
- Yes, and?
1500
01:29:36,933 --> 01:29:39,128
- Jack, you're on!
- Oh, no, I'm on.
1501
01:29:38,935 --> 01:29:40,095
Go get them, tiger!
1502
01:29:40,437 --> 01:29:42,200
...revival of the hit series Bewitched.
1503
01:29:42,439 --> 01:29:45,875
You know him from such films
as Last Year in Katmandu...
1504
01:29:45,942 --> 01:29:48,410
...An Onion For Willy and Atticus Rex.
1505
01:29:48,445 --> 01:29:51,243
Please welcome our good pal,
Jack Wyatt!
1506
01:30:06,463 --> 01:30:07,657
Oh, my God.
1507
01:30:07,964 --> 01:30:09,363
It was a dream.
1508
01:30:09,966 --> 01:30:11,365
Thank God.
1509
01:30:12,469 --> 01:30:14,232
No such luck, Jackie boy.
1510
01:30:15,472 --> 01:30:16,769
Stay back!
1511
01:30:16,973 --> 01:30:21,171
Okay, okay. You are not real.
You're from the TV show.
1512
01:30:20,977 --> 01:30:22,672
You have blond highlights...
1513
01:30:22,979 --> 01:30:25,140
...and had to wear a girdle
on your last movie.
1514
01:30:25,482 --> 01:30:26,847
Who's calling who not real?
1515
01:30:26,983 --> 01:30:29,543
Okay, I do not believe this.
I am not...
1516
01:30:29,486 --> 01:30:30,646
You are...
1517
01:30:31,488 --> 01:30:33,956
- You are real.
- Temporarily.
1518
01:30:34,491 --> 01:30:38,325
Oh, Uncle Arthur.
You're my favorite character.
1519
01:30:38,495 --> 01:30:39,757
I know.
1520
01:30:39,496 --> 01:30:41,054
What the hell's going on?
1521
01:30:41,498 --> 01:30:44,194
You need help.
Your love life's a mess, buddy boy.
1522
01:30:44,501 --> 01:30:46,332
I know, I'm miserable.
1523
01:30:46,503 --> 01:30:50,940
So am I. I have been in reruns
for 32 years.
1524
01:30:51,007 --> 01:30:54,943
I need the sizzle of prime time!
I need to get this show back on the air.
1525
01:30:55,011 --> 01:30:57,980
Okay, this is very complicated
and unsettling, all right?
1526
01:30:58,014 --> 01:30:59,709
I don't think I understand.
1527
01:31:00,016 --> 01:31:01,347
Oh. All right.
1528
01:31:01,518 --> 01:31:05,181
Do you want the short version
or the long version?
1529
01:31:05,522 --> 01:31:08,685
Keep in mind that the long version
is in Aramaic.
1530
01:31:08,525 --> 01:31:09,651
The short version.
1531
01:31:10,026 --> 01:31:12,859
You got involved with a witch,
and when you do that...
1532
01:31:13,029 --> 01:31:15,589
...weird stuff happens.
1533
01:31:16,533 --> 01:31:19,400
- That's it?
- Do I have to explain everything?
1534
01:31:19,536 --> 01:31:22,300
Okay, here's the deal. I'm not real.
1535
01:31:23,540 --> 01:31:26,008
- Iris is a witch.
- Iris is a witch?
1536
01:31:26,042 --> 01:31:28,067
Don't dwell. And, in my opinion...
1537
01:31:28,044 --> 01:31:30,376
...that manager of yours, Richie...
- What?
1538
01:31:30,547 --> 01:31:32,208
...isn't even human.
1539
01:31:32,549 --> 01:31:34,312
- Now, where was I?
- When?
1540
01:31:34,551 --> 01:31:37,679
Before you woke up. Oh, right!
Who wants to be with a witch?
1541
01:31:38,054 --> 01:31:40,181
Crazy crap like this
would always be happening!
1542
01:31:40,056 --> 01:31:41,182
And your point is?
1543
01:31:41,558 --> 01:31:44,186
- The point is, you'd never know.
- What?
1544
01:31:44,060 --> 01:31:47,223
Whether you were in love with her,
or whether she put a spell on you.
1545
01:31:47,564 --> 01:31:51,091
Like when you first spotted her in the
bookstore. Probably her idea, right?
1546
01:31:51,067 --> 01:31:52,398
No, that was my idea.
1547
01:31:53,570 --> 01:31:56,664
- Oh, that's terrible.
- I know, I just love to blend.
1548
01:31:57,073 --> 01:32:01,066
And when you got down on your knees
and you begged her to take the job.
1549
01:32:01,077 --> 01:32:02,135
What are you saying?
1550
01:32:02,579 --> 01:32:04,740
She probably planted the words
in your head.
1551
01:32:04,581 --> 01:32:05,946
No way, my words.
1552
01:32:06,583 --> 01:32:08,881
Yeah. What about the nose?
1553
01:32:08,585 --> 01:32:11,418
Hello? Is that even really her nose?
1554
01:32:11,588 --> 01:32:13,351
Of course it's her real nose.
1555
01:32:13,590 --> 01:32:17,924
Look. Is all's I'm saying is,
who wants to be with a witch?
1556
01:32:41,117 --> 01:32:42,448
I do.
1557
01:32:44,120 --> 01:32:45,246
She's going home.
1558
01:32:45,121 --> 01:32:48,386
And once a witch returns home,
she can't come back for 100 years.
1559
01:32:48,625 --> 01:32:50,525
She can't leave.
1560
01:32:51,127 --> 01:32:54,358
I need her. I want her. I want Isabel.
1561
01:32:54,130 --> 01:32:56,121
Well, come on, let's go get her.
1562
01:32:56,633 --> 01:32:59,295
Here we go! Let's go!
Let's go get her!
1563
01:32:59,636 --> 01:33:03,128
Follow me! Follow me, here we go!
Come on, here we go!
1564
01:33:10,647 --> 01:33:12,911
We'd better hurry.
She's leaving right this minute.
1565
01:33:13,149 --> 01:33:14,514
We've gotta stop her.
1566
01:33:15,151 --> 01:33:16,948
Hey, wait.
You can't drive, remember?
1567
01:33:16,653 --> 01:33:19,486
Remember that episode where
you pulled out and almost crashed?
1568
01:33:19,656 --> 01:33:21,886
Yes, well, that wasn't exactly me.
1569
01:33:22,158 --> 01:33:24,353
l, personally, am a great driver.
1570
01:33:26,663 --> 01:33:28,392
Whoopsie doodle!
1571
01:33:33,169 --> 01:33:34,830
Take it easy!
1572
01:33:35,672 --> 01:33:37,139
Can you slow down just a tad?
1573
01:33:37,173 --> 01:33:39,334
Is it "Porsche" or is it "Porscha"?
1574
01:33:39,676 --> 01:33:42,770
Who cares? Watch the road, please.
We've gotta get Isabel!
1575
01:33:43,179 --> 01:33:46,273
Oh, all right, party pooper.
Let me drive!
1576
01:33:47,183 --> 01:33:49,014
- There she is!
- Where?
1577
01:33:49,185 --> 01:33:50,743
Oh, no, she's flying away!
1578
01:33:50,687 --> 01:33:52,587
Pedal to the metal, buddy boy!
1579
01:33:54,691 --> 01:33:55,919
Watch it!
1580
01:33:58,695 --> 01:34:01,528
Oh, I'm about to be killed
by a fictional character.
1581
01:34:01,698 --> 01:34:03,461
Yes, you are.
1582
01:34:10,206 --> 01:34:12,800
- We're here.
- Here. Where?
1583
01:34:13,710 --> 01:34:15,234
Where is she?
1584
01:34:16,212 --> 01:34:19,079
Our place. She's at our place.
1585
01:34:21,217 --> 01:34:23,685
Thank you.
Thank you, Uncle Arthur.
1586
01:34:25,221 --> 01:34:26,950
Run to her, you idiot!
1587
01:34:53,750 --> 01:34:54,739
Isabel.
1588
01:34:59,255 --> 01:35:02,122
Oh, my God, you're here.
1589
01:35:02,258 --> 01:35:03,555
I'm so happy you're here.
1590
01:35:03,760 --> 01:35:06,320
- I'm leaving.
- No, no, no, you can't.
1591
01:35:06,763 --> 01:35:08,663
You'll be gone forever if you leave.
1592
01:35:08,765 --> 01:35:11,700
You'll be gone 100 years without
being able to come back.
1593
01:35:11,768 --> 01:35:14,430
That's ridiculous.
Who told you that?
1594
01:35:14,771 --> 01:35:16,068
He did.
1595
01:35:21,277 --> 01:35:24,337
Well, what are you doing here
if you're leaving?
1596
01:35:26,282 --> 01:35:28,147
I was going home.
1597
01:35:28,284 --> 01:35:30,946
But I don't know where that is.
1598
01:35:32,288 --> 01:35:34,085
Home is with me.
1599
01:35:34,791 --> 01:35:37,157
- Don't go. Please.
- But I'm...
1600
01:35:37,794 --> 01:35:39,386
- We'll work it out.
- We can't.
1601
01:35:39,796 --> 01:35:40,820
Yes, we can.
1602
01:35:40,797 --> 01:35:44,028
I can't be normal,
because I'm a witch.
1603
01:35:44,300 --> 01:35:48,794
I can't be a witch,
because I really wanna be normal.
1604
01:35:49,305 --> 01:35:52,069
- It's not possible.
- Of course it's possible.
1605
01:35:52,308 --> 01:35:55,038
There's tons of other witches
who've done it.
1606
01:35:55,812 --> 01:35:56,938
Who?
1607
01:35:56,813 --> 01:36:01,216
Well, maybe not tons of other witches,
but at least one.
1608
01:36:03,820 --> 01:36:05,253
Samantha.
1609
01:36:06,823 --> 01:36:11,283
Caught between two worlds,
and yet completely happy.
1610
01:36:11,828 --> 01:36:14,228
She lived happily ever after, in fact.
1611
01:36:14,831 --> 01:36:17,391
Although there's no way to be sure.
She went off the air.
1612
01:36:17,834 --> 01:36:19,324
We'll work it out.
1613
01:36:20,336 --> 01:36:22,463
Don't cry, little witch.
1614
01:36:25,341 --> 01:36:26,808
I love you, Samantha.
1615
01:36:28,344 --> 01:36:29,606
Isabel.
1616
01:36:29,846 --> 01:36:31,313
I knew that.
1617
01:36:31,848 --> 01:36:33,008
I think.
1618
01:36:33,349 --> 01:36:35,340
I love you, Darrin.
1619
01:36:48,364 --> 01:36:52,198
It just occurred to me,
you could have any guy...
1620
01:36:52,368 --> 01:36:53,835
...in the whole world.
1621
01:36:54,370 --> 01:36:56,565
Oh, but I chose you.
1622
01:36:56,873 --> 01:36:59,273
Honestly, I think you made
a mistake.
1623
01:36:59,876 --> 01:37:02,208
If I did, I can always get out of it.
1624
01:37:07,884 --> 01:37:09,613
Now we have things to do.
1625
01:37:10,887 --> 01:37:12,980
- We have a show to do.
- Yes.
1626
01:37:13,389 --> 01:37:16,722
And then, maybe after a while,
we could get married.
1627
01:37:36,412 --> 01:37:37,845
There it is.
1628
01:37:37,914 --> 01:37:39,245
Good brakes.
1629
01:37:41,417 --> 01:37:44,181
Abner, come look!
The new neighbors are moving in!
1630
01:37:44,420 --> 01:37:46,285
Not now, Gladys, I'm busy.
1631
01:37:48,424 --> 01:37:49,618
Yes.
1632
01:37:49,425 --> 01:37:53,020
I'm now going to carry you
across the threshold.
1633
01:37:56,933 --> 01:37:59,424
Don't you think the front lawn
looks a little bare?
1634
01:37:59,435 --> 01:38:00,663
No, I don't.
1635
01:38:00,937 --> 01:38:03,371
But I think it could use
a little something.
1636
01:38:03,439 --> 01:38:05,498
It's fine the way it is, honey.
1637
01:38:11,948 --> 01:38:15,315
Abner! A tree just appeared
in the front yard!