1
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:49,900
It's perfect.
2
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,900
Oh, great.
3
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:52,400
I'll take it.
4
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,700
Wonderful. I'm so happy.
5
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:57,500
There's one thing.
I'm gonna need some references.
6
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,900
I don't have any of those.
7
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:01,800
Oh, dear, that's serious.
8
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:06,800
I don't know that we can do business
together if you don't have references.
9
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:14,000
Bye, now!
10
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,400
- Daddy.
- What's going on, Isabel?
11
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,500
I'm moving here.
12
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,900
To the Valley?
Why on earth would you do that?
13
00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:10,600
Because it's normal.
14
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:11,200
You're normal. You're just...
15
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,300
I know. I know. But I'm not gonna
be one anymore.
16
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,700
You have no choice in the matter.
It's what you are.
17
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,800
Orange is a great color.
Orange is happy.
18
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,300
Why don't we just paint it yellow?
19
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,700
We can't paint it yellow.
We're gonna paint the bathroom yellow.
20
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:24,400
Since when are we doing that?
21
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,800
They're arguing about paint.
22
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,600
Yes, I can see that.
23
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,800
I wanna argue about paint.
24
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,700
- With whom?
- With someone.
25
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:33,600
A man?
26
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,500
- Yes!
- Oh, Isabel.
27
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,700
I'm through with warlocks.
They're all like you.
28
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:41,600
Even when you and mom were in marriage,
you were casting spells on other women.
29
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,100
Your life is total
instant gratification, Daddy.
30
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,300
It's fantastic, isn't it?
31
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,800
No. No, it's not.
32
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,800
Because how do you know that
anyone really loves you for yourself?
33
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,500
It's like those rich men who are never
sure why women sleep with them.
34
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:58,500
But women sleep with them,
so it's not really a problem.
35
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,500
I want a man who needs me.
36
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,100
Needs you?
37
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:07,400
Because he is a completely
hopeless mess.
38
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,200
Oh, no. You're talking about love,
aren't you?
39
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,000
What do you suppose it's like?
40
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,200
Oh, it's simple. You say, "I love you"
to someone you want to go home with.
41
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,500
And then when things get messy,
you say, "I don't love you any more."
42
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,700
And that's pretty much it.
43
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,900
I feel as if I'm pressed against
a glass window.
44
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:29,900
It's right there on the other side.
I can see it, but I can't feel it.
45
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:32,600
I can't touch it.
46
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:37,100
- Does your mother know about this?
- She disappeared again.
47
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:38,400
$420.56.
48
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:43,400
Money. Money.
49
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:53,600
That was my last thing as a witch.
50
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,100
I wanna be like everyone else.
I wanna have friends and I wanna...
51
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,500
And I wanna go
to the Coffee Bean...
52
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:03,100
...where we all discuss our problems,
which are absolutely unsolvable.
53
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:07,300
You can have anything you want.
Every woman wants to be a witch.
54
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:08,800
Well, I don't. I wanna feel thwarted.
55
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,700
I want days where my hair
is affected by weather.
56
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:13,400
Yeah, hi, what can I get you?
57
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,000
Scrambled eggs, please.
58
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,800
I am through with just snapping
my fingers and getting my way.
59
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,000
No breakfast after 11.
60
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:27,400
My absolutely last thing.
61
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,700
Don't do this.
62
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,200
You'll meet someone,
you'll get this close.
63
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,500
- And when he finds out about...
- If he loves me, he won't care.
64
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:40,100
I'm going to get an umbrella.
65
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,100
Go on. Get yourself one.
66
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:46,200
No, Daddy. No. I mean it.
No. Never again.
67
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:52,300
- You'll get wet.
- I hope so.
68
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,700
I know what you're gonna say.
I'm a mess.
69
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,500
Get a grip, Jack. Get a grip.
70
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,800
I can't help it.
71
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,600
Hey, how do I look?
72
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,800
You look great.
73
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,200
- I look great?
- Yeah.
74
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,800
I always look great. That's a gift.
75
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,400
- And the important thing is...
- What?
76
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,300
I have no idea what
the important thing is.
77
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,800
I'm telling you. I feel like
I'm about to go out of my mind.
78
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:31,300
You know, I want my life back. Okay?
I want my wife and my house.
79
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:35,500
I wanna be a movie star again. I mean,
what the hell happened, Richie?
80
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,100
Things were going so great
for a while.
81
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:40,800
Last Year in Katmandu.
It costed 140 mil to make.
82
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,600
Grossed 1.6.
The only DVD to sell no copies.
83
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,300
We probably shouldn't have shot it
in black-and-white.
84
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,700
But now you're gonna do a television
series and it's gonna be a big hit.
85
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,800
So pull yourself together, man,
because you look like Don Johnson.
86
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,000
- But in a bad way.
- Okay, I got it.
87
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,200
- I'll pull myself together.
- Let's go.
88
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,600
And don't get all nice on me.
Be mean.
89
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,100
I'm gonna be mean.
I'm gonna be mean.
90
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,600
Hit me. There you go.
91
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,000
You're the Jackerator, baby.
Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
92
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,700
Yo, gentlemen.
How are you? Oh!
93
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:09,500
- Hey, hello.
- Jack Wyatt.
94
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,700
- Hi, I'm Jack.
- Oh. Huge fan. Huge.
95
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,500
- How are the kids, guys?
- Great.
96
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,600
Good. Well, let's cut the chitchat.
97
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,200
- Thank you. I'm Jack, by the way.
- Nina.
98
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,500
- Jack wants to do the show.
- That's great.
99
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,300
- I wanna do it.
- That's great. That's terrific.
100
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:24,600
He only has one concern.
101
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,200
We had the same concern.
102
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,400
But we think everyone's forgotten
about Last Year in Katmandu.
103
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,600
Unless they saw it.
104
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,900
His concern is...
105
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:35,200
...the witch has all the fun.
106
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,900
You will be fun.
107
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,800
We're changing it from the original.
108
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:44,300
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't all go crazy.
Okay? I mean, it is Bewitched.
109
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:49,700
I mean, Samantha should be strong.
Right? This should be a two-hander.
110
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,300
Oh, my God. Huh?
Hey. What a relief.
111
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:56,200
I was worried because Larry told me
you'd want to tilt the show toward you...
112
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,500
Stu, Stu.
113
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,900
We gotta have a great ensemble
is what I'm thinking. You know?
114
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:05,200
Endora, the next-door neighbors,
all those crazy family members.
115
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,600
Who's gonna play Uncle Arthur? Huh?
I used to love Uncle Arthur.
116
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,900
Well, we're looking for Uncle Arthur.
117
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,800
- Your table's ready.
- Thank you.
118
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,200
I don't know if you remember...
119
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,400
...but when he'd appear in the mirror,
it would crack. It would always crack.
120
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,200
And you knew it was coming,
and yet, every time it happened...
121
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,600
...I laughed and I laughed
and I laughed.
122
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,200
- Can I talk to you?
- I loved it.
123
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,900
"Hi, Sammy."
124
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:31,400
One second, fellas. We'll meet
you guys at the table, all right?
125
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,100
Hey, I like those guys. What?
126
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:36,000
- You're being a pussy.
- What?
127
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,900
You're being a pussy, pussy, pussy!
128
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,800
No, I'm not!
I want the show to be good.
129
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,400
You want the show to be...
You know what?
130
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,300
Jack Wyatt's doing TV now
because his film career ate it!
131
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,800
And he's not even the clear star
of his own show.
132
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:52,900
Jack, screw Uncle Arthur.
Hell, screw ensembles, man.
133
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,600
- I'm being a pussy.
- Yes.
134
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,500
If this show tanks, you'll be in the bottom of
Hollywood Squares for the next 10 years.
135
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:00,500
You will also be the mayor
of Pussytown.
136
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,600
I don't wanna be the mayor
of Pussytown.
137
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,300
Get in there and be
the sheriff of Ballsville.
138
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,500
- All right?
- Okay.
139
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,200
- Bring it.
- Okay.
140
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:12,600
Let's go.
141
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,000
- Stop that.
- Sorry, sorry.
142
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,500
Sorry, guys, where were we?
143
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:21,500
Couple of big names are available
for Samantha.
144
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,000
- To hell with that.
- Yeah.
145
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,900
I want an unknown in the lead.
All right?
146
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,300
A hot new face that's gonna look good
and set me up.
147
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:33,600
Because I have worked my ass off
to the bone for too long...
148
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,600
...to build up the brand value
of the name Jack Wyatt!
149
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000
- This show has one star.
- And I want three trailers.
150
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,400
Nobody in television
has three trailers.
151
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,800
He wants them, you get them.
152
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:50,300
And I want my own makeup team
in matching jumpsuits.
153
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:51,600
And a leopard!
I want a pet leopard.
154
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,000
With a diamond-studded collar.
Real diamonds.
155
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,300
- That's enough, Jack.
- And a cake.
156
00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:00,700
A two-story-high cake.
Every Wednesday's Cake Day.
157
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,800
And we're gonna bring it out...
158
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,600
...and we're gonna pretend
it's a surprise.
159
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,500
Because it's Cake Day.
160
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,400
We get it, Jack.
161
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,600
If we have a leopard, we're gonna
have major insurance issues.
162
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,900
We're willing to give
up the leopard.
163
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,300
It's getting hard to breathe.
164
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:18,000
- Should I be writing this down?
- No.
165
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:22,100
So this should be fun. Huh? Right?
166
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,700
I used to have the biggest crush on
Elizabeth Montgomery when I was 10 years old.
167
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:31,200
- We all did.
- The nose. I mean...
168
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:36,200
It's not gonna be easy finding
a nobody to play Samantha.
169
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,900
Be the sheriff.
170
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:43,900
Well, Jack Wyatt says
get it done, y'all.
171
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:54,900
Hey, I'm turning on the sprinklers
in my front yard.
172
00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:00,700
Dimming up.
173
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,200
Dimming down.
174
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,700
Dimming up.
175
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:11,700
Dimming down.
176
00:11:12,398 --> 00:11:13,660
Wow!
177
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,700
I don't think you quite understand.
178
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,100
This is very confusing.
179
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:25,300
I put the black cable in the red plug
like they said...
180
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:28,800
...and the screen is still blue.
181
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,800
I'm here to give you cable.
182
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:34,200
Oh, thank you, I already have some.
183
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:39,300
Hello? Don't go away, please.
184
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:44,300
To heck with all this bunk!
185
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:08,200
There.
186
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:13,000
Let's just keep this
between us, Lucinda.
187
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,000
Is your self-esteem low because you
aren't participating in the real world?
188
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,200
Yes, my self-esteem is very low.
189
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,900
Well, let's face it. You need a job.
190
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,800
There's something I have
to tell you, Darrin.
191
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,300
- I'm a witch.
- I'm a witch.
192
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:32,300
I am a witch.
193
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:46,200
Good. Good.
194
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:17,200
Oh, my goodness.
195
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:33,200
God bless you.
196
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:13,300
Don't look, but Jack Wyatt
is staring at you.
197
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,200
My heart's pounding,
and I am feeling very weird tingles.
198
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,100
I know. He makes me sick too.
199
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:21,800
You know him?
200
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,800
Jack Wyatt? The actor?
201
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,500
Where have you been?
202
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:31,300
- May I join you?
- Sure.
203
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,500
- Hi, I'm Jack Wyatt.
- I know.
204
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,100
Thank you.
205
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:38,800
Look, I've never done this before.
206
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:44,200
How would you like to be
on a television show?
207
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:44,800
- Ms...
- Bigelow.
208
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:45,300
Bigelow?
209
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:51,400
Isabel Bigelow.
210
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,300
What do you think?
Wanna be a famous actress?
211
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:54,600
- Me?
- Yeah.
212
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,100
- An actress?
- Yeah.
213
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,300
I can't act.
214
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:01,400
Anyone can act.
215
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,400
If I can act, you can act.
216
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,800
Amen.
217
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,700
I think those people over there
just finished their plate of hummus.
218
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:16,300
You might wanna help them
by clearing it. Thank you.
219
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:20,100
So, Isabel Bigelow,
do you have a job?
220
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,600
- No.
- Are you rich?
221
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,200
Because I am.
222
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,600
I'm extremely wealthy...
223
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:31,700
...which I'm about to prove to you
by taking care of this bill...
224
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,316
...for two dollars...
225
00:15:33,657 --> 00:15:36,700
...and 31 cents.
226
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:40,000
- Wow.
- Yeah. "Wow" is right.
227
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,900
I have to remember
to get some money.
228
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,500
Yeah.
229
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:48,300
So do you wanna be
rich and famous?
230
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,600
I just wanna be normal.
231
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,600
Well, acting is better than normal.
232
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,900
Yeah. You get to pretend
to be normal.
233
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:59,500
And then if you're good,
you become a big star...
234
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,400
...and guess what happens.
- What?
235
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:06,500
You snap your fingers and pretty much
anything you want materializes.
236
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:09,000
Oh, no. No, no, no.
237
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:14,200
I have that now.
It's what I'm giving up.
238
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,600
Oh, it was lovely to meet you.
239
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:23,800
You seem very sweet
and unkempt and troubled.
240
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,100
Hey!
241
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:29,200
Hey, hey, hey. Those are bad things
to say to a person.
242
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,300
Oh, no, they aren't.
243
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:34,400
I think the fact that you're
a hopeless mess is very refreshing.
244
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:39,400
It moves me.
245
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,500
- Isabel Bigelow.
- Yes?
246
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:48,200
I need you.
247
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,100
What did you say?
248
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,600
- I said, I need you.
- You need me?
249
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:56,100
I need you.
250
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,400
You don't have to come on audition.
251
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,600
Just come and show everyone
what you look like when you do it.
252
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,100
Like this?
253
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,000
Uncanny.
254
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:10,000
- It's identical.
- I told you.
255
00:17:16,758 --> 00:17:17,385
You go, girl!
256
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,800
We would just like you
to read the script.
257
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,600
Start on page 13.
Should be marked there.
258
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,500
Read it?
259
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:37,600
Okay... Out loud.
260
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,700
Yeah. We want an idea
of what it could sound like.
261
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:45,800
"Int., honeymoon suite, night...
Dash, night.
262
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,500
Darrin and Samantha are sitting
on the bed."
263
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,000
Someone's not too bright.
264
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:55,000
Just... Just read the part
that says "Samantha."
265
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,500
"Darrin, I know it's our honeymoon,
but there's something I have to tell you.
266
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,000
I'm a witch."
267
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,100
- I'm not a witch.
- Yeah, exactly.
268
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:06,000
- No, you're giving it up.
- Who told you?
269
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,900
You're about to. On the next page.
270
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:12,600
It's Bewitched. The TV show.
We're redoing it.
271
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,800
Oh, I wasn't allowed
to watch Bewitched.
272
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,600
Who wasn't allowed
to watch Bewitched?
273
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,300
- That's great, Jack.
- That's great.
274
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,600
Well, I play a mortal.
And I'm in love with you.
275
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,500
And I don't care that you're a witch.
276
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,500
You don't care?
277
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,900
No? Is that true?
278
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,500
Yes, it is. Yeah.
279
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,700
Now go ahead and read the lines.
280
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:37,800
I'll read with you.
We'll do it together.
281
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:42,200
Randall? Where are you?
Yes. Thank you.
282
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:47,800
This'll be easy.
283
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,700
- Here?
- Yeah.
284
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,100
I'm a witch, Darrin.
285
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:57,900
A house-haunting, broomstick-flying,
cauldron-stirring witch!
286
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,200
Great. Great.
287
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,500
Know what? Let's put the script down.
Let's put it away, and we'll improvise.
288
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:05,800
Jack. That was only one line.
289
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,700
Not a big deal.
290
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:09,100
Go ahead. Just set it down.
291
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,400
Randall.
292
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,200
I'm gonna ask you questions.
Just answer them as if you're a witch.
293
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,600
- Sure.
- Yeah.
294
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,200
Were your parents
in the witch business?
295
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:24,100
Both of them. My mother fixed
the 1986 World Series.
296
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:27,000
- Funny.
- Make a note of that.
297
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,800
Do you carry around poison apples,
like in Snow White?
298
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,400
Oh, no, you have to have a permit
for a poison apple.
299
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,200
Permit? Okay, good to know.
300
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,400
That's good.
301
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,100
Oh, what's it like to date a warlock?
302
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,500
Oh! Horrible.
303
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:45,700
They're self-centered, not very bright,
and all that feel-good-in-the-moment.
304
00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:49,300
Not at all like you.
305
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,500
What's so funny?
306
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,800
Nothing, J-Bone.
307
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,600
What's your favorite spell?
308
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,300
Oh, no, I don't like to talk about that
because I'm quitting and...
309
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:01,400
No, talking about it
just makes it harder, so...
310
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,800
Are you sure you never saw
Bewitched?
311
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,400
She's incredibly dialed-in.
312
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,800
- Can I ask a question?
- Sure.
313
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,600
How much longer do we have to
do this for?
314
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,300
Oh, this?
We're almost done with this.
315
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,600
I mean, if you do the show,
we'll be together forever.
316
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,400
- You and I?
- Would you please do the show, Isabel?
317
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,700
- What? This show?
- This show.
318
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,200
- The Bewitched show?
- Absolutely.
319
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,200
We'll work together.
We'll be partners.
320
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,800
Be my TV wife.
321
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,200
- This is very complicated.
- Marry me.
322
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,500
Say yes.
323
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:33,900
What are you doing, Isabel?
324
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,400
Easy answer.
325
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,000
- Yes.
- Yes!
326
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,200
Great. Thank you.
327
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:46,900
Okay. Let's make the deal. Right?
328
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:51,100
Once upon a time,
there was a typical American girl...
329
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:56,800
... who happened to bump into
a typical red-blooded American boy.
330
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:03,100
And she bumped into him,
and bumped into him.
331
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:05,800
So they decided they'd better
sit down and talk this over...
332
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,100
... before they had an accident.
333
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,100
They became good friends.
334
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,000
- Hi!
- Hello?
335
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,300
They brought this while you were out.
I said I'd bring it over.
336
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,100
I'm your neighbor, Maria Kelly.
337
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:19,600
- Come in!
- Thank you.
338
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,700
What is all this stuff?
339
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:23,100
I just got the most amazing job.
340
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:27,100
I'm gonna be Samantha on Bewitched.
They're redoing it.
341
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:28,900
Are you an actress?
342
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,100
I guess I am.
343
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:34,000
I love that show.
Is that the one about the genie?
344
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:39,000
- No.
- This is so exciting!
345
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:43,200
Oh! There you are. Come here.
This is you!
346
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,300
Oh, I love this show.
347
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:47,500
You know it?
348
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:51,900
Watched it every night.
Love the song. Perfect.
349
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:55,200
There you are! You're great!
Look at the nose!
350
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,400
I hope you can do that.
351
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,000
That's how I got the job.
Wriggling my nose.
352
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,600
- Really?
- It's easy.
353
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:01,900
Who's gonna play your husband?
354
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:04,200
- Jack Wyatt.
- Oh, my God.
355
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:08,000
He believes in me. He wants to be
partners with me. Listen to this:
356
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,600
"Looking forward
to working with you, Isabel.
357
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,000
As dictated to
Jack's assistant, Randall."
358
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Isn't that amazing?
359
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,200
He's single. It's in all the tabloids.
His wife dumped him.
360
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,700
- Is that true?
- Yes!
361
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:24,000
Oh, my gosh.
362
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,100
I don't know why we're doing this,
but it's fun.
363
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:28,800
I know!
364
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,100
Although, you shouldn't get involved
with someone you're working with.
365
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:34,800
It can destroy your references.
I'm a career counselor and...
366
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,900
Well, that's the only reason
I took the job.
367
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:44,100
He is the cutest mess you have
ever seen. He is hopeless.
368
00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:47,600
Oh, gosh, he's beyond mortal.
369
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,800
My father would never approve.
370
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,400
Oh. Well.
371
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,600
I won't?
372
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,600
Daddy. Hi.
373
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,200
What are you doing here?
374
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,800
Hello, Isabel. Love the hat.
375
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,200
And who is this?
376
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,700
This is my father.
377
00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:10,100
This is Maria Kelly.
378
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:14,900
How witchy was that? We talk
about your father and he turns up.
379
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:16,900
Maria is my neighbor.
380
00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:19,800
Nigel Bigelow. Enchant?
381
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,000
Okay.
382
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,500
And what won't I approve of?
383
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:25,800
A man Isabel thinks is cute.
384
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,500
I'm completely against it.
385
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:29,800
I'm gonna be an actress
in a television series.
386
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,300
She's gonna play Samantha
on Bewitched.
387
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:37,800
Bewitched?
That's an insult to our way of life.
388
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,900
Your dad is a hoot.
389
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:42,000
I'm gonna take one of these,
because you got a lot.
390
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,800
Oh, sure.
391
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:49,200
Anyway, if anyone's robbing my house,
let me know. I'll do the same for you.
392
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,900
Oh! And if you get a date
that has a friend...
393
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:54,200
...make sure he's not secretly married
before you call me.
394
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,000
- Bye, Nigel.
- Bye, Maria.
395
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,800
Bye, Maria.
396
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,700
Why can't you be happy for me?
397
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:04,900
In less than a week I have become
a rich and famous actress...
398
00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:07,900
...living in a house I don't even have
to pay rent for...
399
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:09,900
...just like every other person
in the world.
400
00:24:09,900 --> 00:24:11,200
Why wouldn't I be happy?
401
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,700
You've turned your back
on your own kind...
402
00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:17,500
...and now you live down the street
from a Denny's.
403
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:22,200
Don't make fun of my life.
I could make fun of your life.
404
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,500
So, what about this man?
405
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:26,700
No, I am not telling you anything any more.
You're too negative.
406
00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:28,300
One morning,
I shot a lion in my pajamas.
407
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:31,800
What he was doing in my pajamas,
I'll never know.
408
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,300
Uncle Arthur. Classic.
409
00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:41,300
Your brand of low comedy always did
appeal to adolescent mentality.
410
00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:48,200
I won't do it.
411
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,100
Speaking of traveling,
remember that time...
412
00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:51,500
Maybe I will.
413
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:53,789
Maybe I will.
414
00:24:53,766 --> 00:24:56,200
...sent over from Europe.
It's simply gorgeous.
415
00:24:56,500 --> 00:25:02,500
It reminds me
of the one in California.
416
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:08,600
Lucinda, you really should be
watching this.
417
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,400
I'm only trying to say
that you broke your promise.
418
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,200
You gave me your word, no more...
419
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,200
Stuff.
420
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,700
It's a little harder to break the habit
than I thought.
421
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:25,300
Well, you can do it.
I've got a lot of faith in you.
422
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:28,500
Thank you, darling.
423
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:29,900
Ladies and gentlemen...
424
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:32,500
...please welcome the star
of the new Bewitched:
425
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:37,500
Jack Wyatt!
426
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:45,000
I didn't expect you guys to be here.
427
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,100
Okay, as you know,
we're here for Bewitched.
428
00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:51,700
But of course it's not the same Bewitched
that you remember. It's being retooled.
429
00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:53,500
But there is going to be a Samantha, isn't there?
430
00:25:53,500 --> 00:26:00,200
Of course.
Isabel, can you come out here?
431
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,100
Be brave. You look beautiful.
432
00:26:03,100 --> 00:26:04,900
Ladies and gentlemen
of the press...
433
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:09,100
...I'd like you to meet the talented
and delightful Ms. Isabel Bigelow.
434
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:11,700
Say hello to the people, Isabel.
435
00:26:11,700 --> 00:26:12,800
Hello.
436
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,500
No, no, into the microphone.
Here. Here.
437
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,400
- Hello.
- That's enough.
438
00:26:19,852 --> 00:26:21,945
Now do that thing that you do.
439
00:26:24,857 --> 00:26:25,449
Isn't that great?
440
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,400
That was great. Great.
Just stand there.
441
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,500
And guess who's playing Endora.
442
00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:39,800
Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome the great, the legendary...
443
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,300
...Miss Iris Smythson,
as my mother-in-law.
444
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:44,200
That's right.
445
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,200
Iris Smythson. Iris?
446
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:51,500
- Iris?
- All right, what's going on?
447
00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:07,100
Iris Smythson.
448
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:09,200
And of course she hates me.
Don't you?
449
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,500
Anything you say, Jerry.
450
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,400
Jack. See what I mean?
That's a joke, right?
451
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,300
Endora used to refer to Darrin
as Derwood.
452
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:19,700
No, I just forgot your name.
453
00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:22,000
But the news here
isn't Iris Smythson...
454
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,100
... or Jack Wyatt,
who's trying the small screen...
455
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:28,000
... after the twin disasters
of his last movie...
456
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,300
... and a messy split
from his wife, Sheila...
457
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,500
... who's already found
someone new...
458
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:37,500
... after a marriage that lasted
only 19 months.
459
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,200
Didn't she leave him for a
snowboarder/underwear model?
460
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:41,800
He's a moron/idiot.
461
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,400
- That's right.
- Aren't they living together?
462
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:47,800
Yes, in my house! My house
that I bought before I even met her.
463
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,300
And she won't move
or sign the divorce papers.
464
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,300
The big news is the surprise casting
of an unknown as Samantha.
465
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:56,600
Her name is Isabel Bigelow...
466
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,500
... and she's quite the charmer,
isn't she?
467
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,600
- That's magic.
- So, what's Jack Wyatt thinking?
468
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,200
"My career has tanked,
so I'll fix it by playing Darrin"?
469
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,200
Yeah. Because that's crazy.
Who's running his life?
470
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,400
Plus, he did not look well.
471
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,200
Not look well? I look fine.
472
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:17,100
I'm extremely healthy.
473
00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:19,300
Richie. Richie.
474
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:23,900
What am I gonna do with you?
475
00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:24,200
Boy.
476
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:25,200
This is Richie.
477
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,700
Richie. Why'd you talk me
into doing this show? Huh?
478
00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:31,000
What was I thinking?
What were you thinking?
479
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,700
We were both thinking
the same thing, Jack Attack.
480
00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:35,900
Cast a nobody.
You're completely safe.
481
00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:39,200
Richie, can't you come over here?
I really could use a little support on this one.
482
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,400
Jack, I can't because I'm about to step
into a meeting with the head of NBC.
483
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,400
I'll be right there! One second.
484
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,200
Look, I don't know if you know this,
but I'm Darrin, okay?
485
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:54,100
They replaced Darrin on the original
Bewitched and no one noticed!
486
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:56,600
Nobody is going to replace you.
487
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:03,300
I'm Darrin! How did this happen?!
488
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,300
Hold the work!
489
00:29:37,300 --> 00:29:41,400
Once upon a time, there was a typical
red-blooded American boy...
490
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:46,400
... who happened to bump into
a typical American girl.
491
00:29:47,900 --> 00:29:51,100
And, cut!
492
00:29:51,100 --> 00:29:53,200
- Jack, Jack.
- How was I? How was I?
493
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,000
- You were wonderful, man.
- So good.
494
00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:59,100
- Don't lie to me.
- No. My ribs hurt.
495
00:29:59,100 --> 00:30:01,000
It's what I get paid to do.
496
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,900
Jack? From the top?
497
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:05,200
One more?
498
00:30:05,578 --> 00:30:07,706
Did you see what happened?
Good stuff.
499
00:30:09,583 --> 00:30:11,073
Moving on!
500
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,200
You know it, dude. Nice one.
501
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,200
Here we go.
Off to a good start, huh?
502
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,300
And after a while, he did what any
red-blooded American boy would do.
503
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:26,200
Samantha, will you marry me?
504
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,400
Cut!
505
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:32,400
Great! Beautiful. That was good.
506
00:31:16,603 --> 00:31:17,831
That was good.
507
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,700
- Action.
- You're a witch?
508
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:37,200
And you waited until our
wedding night to tell me?
509
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:44,000
I don't believe this! Oh, golly!
510
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:52,000
Samantha.
511
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,600
Cut! Cut!
512
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:00,900
Joey, for God's sake.
513
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:04,000
Are you trying to kill everyone?
Because we can't breathe.
514
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,700
And what's going on
with the lightning?
515
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:09,800
- Iris.
- You can't nod to the audience in
the show. It just breaks the reality.
516
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:10,100
What?
517
00:31:11,100 --> 00:31:13,200
You can't nod to them.
You can't do...
518
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,000
Go sit in your chair.
Back to your chair.
519
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,000
All right, but...
520
00:31:17,150 --> 00:31:18,640
Take two up. Rolling!
521
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:24,400
You're a witch? And you waited until
our wedding night to tell me?
522
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:29,400
I can't believe this.
523
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,600
What's going on?
524
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:35,600
Samantha.
525
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,300
Why is she waving?
526
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,300
Who are you?
527
00:31:47,300 --> 00:31:52,400
I am Samantha's mother, Endora.
528
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,400
A mortal? You married a mortal?
529
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,100
Oh, my poor, poor baby.
This is just horrifying.
530
00:31:57,100 --> 00:31:59,000
I think I need a drink.
531
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Freeze!
532
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:09,400
Unfreeze!
533
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:12,700
What a shame you didn't drink it.
534
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:18,800
If you had, perhaps you could've spent
your wedding night as a bullfrog.
535
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:27,900
Don't worry, Samantha. I won't do it.
Witch's honor.
536
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,680
My darling, we are quicksilver.
537
00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:35,500
We're a fleeting shadow.
538
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:37,300
We're a distant sound.
539
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:40,100
- That's your mother?
- We live on the wind...
540
00:32:40,100 --> 00:32:44,000
...in the sparkle of a star.
541
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,900
And you want to trade all that
for an acre of crabgrass?
542
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:49,800
Did she just call me
an acre of crabgrass?
543
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,800
Deal with it, Derwood.
544
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:55,700
Thank you. Thank you.
545
00:32:55,700 --> 00:33:00,700
Thank you!
546
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:02,900
I want a piece of the show. Why?
547
00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:06,300
Because I put this thing together.
That's why.
548
00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:09,700
Because Jack Wyatt doesn't
parallel park without checking with me.
549
00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:12,100
Let me call you back. J-Bone!
550
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:14,200
You're crushing it, baby.
Absolutely crushing it.
551
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,300
- I think we got something.
- It's exciting.
552
00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:18,400
- How's Isabel doing?
- She's perfect.
553
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,500
She looks hot and she lets you score
like a madman.
554
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,600
I know. She's great.
555
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:24,500
I can't believe you found her.
556
00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:25,700
You think she's gonna notice?
557
00:33:25,700 --> 00:33:30,300
What? That she doesn't have a part?
Not a chance. She's clueless.
558
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,700
Plus, I think she's got
a little thing for you.
559
00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:34,200
It's freaking pathetic.
560
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,500
- You think so?
- Yes.
561
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:37,600
Man, that would be...
562
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:41,600
Such a nightmare. I know.
Can you imagine?
563
00:33:41,794 --> 00:33:44,060
Although, she does have kind of
a cute little back end on her.
564
00:33:44,298 --> 00:33:46,131
I wouldn't kick her out of bed
for eating a box of crackers.
565
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:52,100
Isabel?
566
00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:54,600
- Did she hear us?
- Not a chance.
567
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,300
A couple of changes to the script.
568
00:33:56,300 --> 00:34:01,200
It was running a little long,
so we cut your lines.
569
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:05,400
Think of it this way.
It's less to memorize.
570
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,400
Sorry.
571
00:34:08,322 --> 00:34:10,584
Lunch!
572
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:25,800
Isabel!
573
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:31,300
I feel like a fool. A big, stupid,
sad fool, and yet I'm angry as well.
574
00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:32,400
What's going on?
575
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,100
Let's set fire to his trailer.
Let's just do it.
576
00:34:35,100 --> 00:34:38,900
Isabel, this is awesome!
You're on TV.
577
00:34:38,900 --> 00:34:40,400
He lied to me.
578
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,500
He tricked me.
He said he needed me.
579
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:46,000
When all he needed was someone
to stand next to him...
580
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:51,000
...while he says
his stupid clever lines.
581
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:58,000
- Hi, I'm Maria.
- Nina.
582
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,500
He seemed so messy and sincere.
But really, he's just a big fake.
583
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:06,200
We could electrocute him.
There's tons of wires around here.
584
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:10,600
I wanna cry, I wanna break things.
I wanna hurt him.
585
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:14,600
Yet there's a part of me that still
has a small amount of feeling for him.
586
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:15,800
How can this be?
587
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,300
When my first husband left me,
I wanted to cut the brakes in his car...
588
00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:23,900
...but instead we ended up
having sex on the elliptical machine.
589
00:35:23,900 --> 00:35:28,000
He doesn't understand who
he's dealing with. He has no idea.
590
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,600
Look, you have three options:
591
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:31,900
You put up with it...
592
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:33,400
...quit...
593
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:37,400
...or get mad.
594
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:42,400
What would Samantha do?
595
00:35:52,300 --> 00:35:57,300
She chose mad, right?
596
00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:20,800
Okay, everybody, settle down.
597
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,200
Okay, working very quietly,
like little mice.
598
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,800
I don't want to see or hear
what you're doing.
599
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,000
I don't want to see or hear
what you're doing.
600
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:32,500
Okay, so, Isabel, just to refresh
your memory, Darrin's ex-girlfriend...
601
00:36:32,500 --> 00:36:34,300
I read the script.
602
00:36:34,300 --> 00:36:36,700
Okay. Well, let's just go over it
one more time.
603
00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:38,900
Oh, and we rehearsed it a lot.
604
00:36:38,900 --> 00:36:40,500
Well, I'm aware of that.
605
00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:44,900
Darrin's ex-girlfriend has invited you
both over for dinner.
606
00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:47,300
And Darrin forced you
to come with him...
607
00:36:47,300 --> 00:36:50,500
He tricked me. Because he is
a self-centered has-been.
608
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,500
No, no, baby, that's not it. No.
609
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:57,600
Because he wants his dog back,
and then Darrin says his line:
610
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:58,900
- "It's my dog.
- It's my dog.
611
00:36:58,900 --> 00:37:01,700
- I want him back."
- I want him back.
612
00:37:01,700 --> 00:37:04,000
It always kills me, Jack.
You ready to go?
613
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,500
Let's do it. Let's do it.
614
00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:08,400
Saddle up. Rolling!
615
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,400
Action!
616
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,800
It's my dog.
617
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:17,900
My dog!
618
00:37:17,900 --> 00:37:22,600
And I will die if I do not have him back.
Do you understand?!
619
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:29,500
I will die if I do not have him back!
620
00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:31,600
Cut.
621
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:36,100
Well, that was a bit much, Jack.
You wanna take it down a notch?
622
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:37,400
Or five?
623
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:41,100
You know what? Just keep it going.
Let me just go. I'll get it this time.
624
00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:42,300
Rolling!
625
00:37:43,536 --> 00:37:44,594
Action!
626
00:37:44,300 --> 00:37:48,900
Where art thou, dog?
627
00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,500
Thy canine lover.
628
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,000
What's happening?
629
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,000
Where is your hot breath
upon the nape of my neck?
630
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,500
We shall form a bond of brotherhood:
man and beast.
631
00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:02,800
You shall lick my face
and I shall lick your snout.
632
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,100
Cut. Jack.
633
00:38:04,100 --> 00:38:06,900
Guys, I'm not doing this on purpose,
I swear to you.
634
00:38:06,900 --> 00:38:09,000
Okay. All right.
635
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Rolling.
636
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:25,400
Oh, my God. Where's my dog?
637
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:30,400
Totally. I have a totally great dog.
638
00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:38,300
Jack. Jack. What are you doing?
639
00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:43,300
This is where the dog has to decide
between Darrin's ex and Darrin.
640
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,100
Samantha wiggles her nose
and the dog chooses Darrin.
641
00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:49,800
Rolling!
642
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:53,200
I know how we can solve this, Darrin.
We'll let Satchel decide.
643
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,400
That's a great idea.
644
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,300
- Come to Daddy, Satchel.
- Look! Good boy.
645
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:01,200
- Come to Mommy.
- Good boy.
646
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:05,800
- Satchel...
- Okay, Isabel, wiggle your nose.
647
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,200
Satchel. Satchel. Come to Mommy.
648
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,800
- Satchel. Satchel.
- Come on. Come on. Up!
649
00:39:09,621 --> 00:39:10,112
- Right here. Come to Daddy.
- Come to Mommy, Satchel.
650
00:39:10,125 --> 00:39:11,353
I got it, Jack. I got it.
651
00:39:12,626 --> 00:39:14,594
Don't you dare go to Daddy.
Come to Mommy!
652
00:39:15,628 --> 00:39:18,062
- No, no, no. You love Daddy.
- Come on, Satchel.
653
00:39:18,131 --> 00:39:19,723
- Come on.
- Come on.
654
00:39:20,134 --> 00:39:21,533
Satchel, come to Mommy.
655
00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:27,900
- He's coming. He's coming.
- He's just sitting there.
656
00:39:28,638 --> 00:39:29,866
Come on! Come on, boy!
657
00:39:29,140 --> 00:39:30,539
To Mommy, Satchel.
658
00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:34,600
- Cut!
- Jim, what's going on here?
659
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,800
Joey!
660
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:43,700
If the dog runs to you again, try this.
661
00:39:43,700 --> 00:39:45,600
Come to Daddy, Satchel.
662
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:46,900
Satchel, come to Mommy.
663
00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:52,900
Come on! Come on, Satchel.
664
00:39:53,662 --> 00:39:55,857
- Come on, boy, please?
- To Mommy.
665
00:39:56,165 --> 00:39:57,393
Good girl.
666
00:39:57,666 --> 00:39:58,533
Please, boy, come on!
Jump, boy! Jump!
667
00:39:58,100 --> 00:40:00,100
Thank God you didn't have
a Great Dane.
668
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,400
Damn it!
669
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:10,800
Cut!
670
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,300
Darling, that was marvelous.
671
00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:17,600
But... Watch out for that.
672
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,200
Please don't say anything.
673
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,800
Calm down, you're not alone.
674
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,000
- I'm not?
- No.
675
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,600
- Are there others?
- There are many others.
676
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,700
Many actors, they develop tricks...
677
00:40:32,700 --> 00:40:35,300
...twitches, really.
678
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:38,400
You don't want to
become mannered.
679
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,600
- Oh, no, I don't.
- No.
680
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:45,600
Thank you, Iris.
681
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:02,600
Hello.
682
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:03,300
Daddy, what...?
683
00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:08,300
If it isn't my spell-casting magical
daughter who gave up witchcraft.
684
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,300
You've had quite a day today,
haven't you?
685
00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:17,400
I was provoked. I fell off the wagon.
It was a one-time thing.
686
00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:22,700
So you're not in love
with him anymore?
687
00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:25,400
I have never disliked a man
more in my entire life...
688
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,600
...which proves that I am
completely over him.
689
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,700
Not necessarily. In fact...
690
00:41:29,700 --> 00:41:33,100
Besides, it was just a crush, which is
an intense but superficial attraction...
691
00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:40,200
...that can easily be mistaken for
something deeper. Now go away.
692
00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:43,600
I have a crush on Endora.
693
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:48,600
What?!
694
00:41:50,300 --> 00:41:53,800
Daddy, where are you?
695
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:58,100
I said, I have a crush on Endora.
696
00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:00,700
- Daddy! No.
- So lovely.
697
00:42:00,700 --> 00:42:03,000
Her name is not Endora. It's Iris.
698
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,400
Iris. A spring flower.
699
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,000
You can't.
700
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,600
Now that I turned out to be so wrong
about him. My job is all that I've got.
701
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,200
- Please don't mess it up.
- How could I do that?
702
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,000
How? You'll sleep with her,
cheat on her...
703
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,100
...she'll go crazy
and she'll take it out on me.
704
00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:22,000
I don't want you to get involved
with Iris. I mean it.
705
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,900
You can't stop being a witch.
706
00:42:23,900 --> 00:42:26,400
I can too. You'll see.
707
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,900
- Cannot.
- Can too.
708
00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:32,700
- Just accept it.
- Never.
709
00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:33,800
Tell me about Bewitched.
710
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,800
Some have said it's a crass attempt
by the network to market nostalgia...
711
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,200
... rather than take a risk
on new ideas.
712
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:44,100
This isn't the old Bewitched.
It's been refocused.
713
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:50,600
Let's just say the only thing
I won't be doing is this:
714
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,300
So you leave the nose-wiggling
to the witch.
715
00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:56,900
But you do it so well.
716
00:42:56,900 --> 00:43:00,000
Well, I don't know about that.
I did coach her, though.
717
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,700
Can we get a close-up
on the nose?
718
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:05,100
I'd rather not.
719
00:43:05,100 --> 00:43:06,400
Which camera?
720
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:07,400
Here? Okay.
721
00:43:10,365 --> 00:43:12,889
Shall we discuss...
722
00:43:12,866 --> 00:43:15,858
... dare we discuss,
Last Year in Katmandu?
723
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000
Hello. Hi, Nina.
724
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:22,900
Yes! Yes, I am watching him.
725
00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:23,700
What's a dick?
726
00:43:24,877 --> 00:43:26,437
No one ever sets out
to make a bad movie.
727
00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:31,700
What does that have to do
with how obnoxious he is being?
728
00:43:32,385 --> 00:43:33,353
Some movies are career-enders.
729
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:37,000
Right. Right, we need a plan.
730
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:37,300
What went wrong?
731
00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:40,300
You know, I hate to point fingers...
732
00:43:40,300 --> 00:43:42,700
... but I'm gonna blame
the wardrobe department.
733
00:43:42,700 --> 00:43:44,600
The wardrobe department?
734
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,400
I think it got in the way.
735
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,100
Maybe I should quit.
736
00:43:48,100 --> 00:43:49,500
Honey, you can't quit.
737
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:51,800
Why not? Isn't that what people do?
738
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,800
He has to quit, not you.
739
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,600
Yeah, like that's ever
gonna happen.
740
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,300
We have to make him quit.
741
00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,000
If we get naked pictures of him
and pictures of farm animals...
742
00:44:00,913 --> 00:44:01,437
...I could just Photoshop them.
743
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,500
That's an excellent idea.
744
00:44:03,500 --> 00:44:05,800
No, no, no. Wait.
Calm down. Calm down.
745
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:10,300
No, no, no, this not what I wanted.
I wanted something normal.
746
00:44:10,300 --> 00:44:15,300
What should I do?
747
00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:36,700
Oh, my.
748
00:44:36,700 --> 00:44:38,900
What a mess.
749
00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:43,900
Your Aunt Clara used to be able
to make a clean landing.
750
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,500
Aunt Clara?
751
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:51,757
Oh, Aunt Clara.
752
00:44:51,962 --> 00:44:52,500
Oh, thank goodness you're here.
753
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:57,800
I am in the middle of a total,
total crisis at work. I'm quitting.
754
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,200
You mustn't quit.
The show must go on.
755
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:01,800
Isabel, are you all right?
756
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,300
Oh, my friends... I have friends...
They don't know we're witches.
757
00:45:05,300 --> 00:45:07,400
Mum's the word.
758
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,700
You know, there was an Aunt Clara
on the original Bewitched.
759
00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:12,200
What a coincidence!
760
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,400
She was a witch.
761
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:19,000
So am I.
762
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,200
She was always screwing up.
763
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,600
- Really?
- I have made up my mind.
764
00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:29,400
I am quitting tomorrow and I'll do
something else, like sailing...
765
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,300
...or polishing fruit.
766
00:45:31,300 --> 00:45:33,800
It's too bad you're not a witch.
You could put a hex on Jack.
767
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,800
Oh, I can. I certainly can.
768
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,400
Who is Jack?
769
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,400
The reason I'm quitting.
770
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,300
Well, why not put a hex on him?
771
00:45:44,517 --> 00:45:45,075
Because I'm giving it up.
772
00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:47,500
- Just a little one.
- Aunt Clara.
773
00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:49,900
Just to get him to behave.
774
00:45:49,900 --> 00:45:53,000
I'll do it.
775
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,100
And then I can keep my job.
Which would help my self-esteem.
776
00:45:57,100 --> 00:45:59,500
You know, there's only
one problem with a hex.
777
00:45:59,500 --> 00:46:01,500
There's no such thing as magic.
778
00:46:01,500 --> 00:46:02,059
So...
779
00:46:03,036 --> 00:46:05,600
...what's your idea,
Little Miss Doubtful?
780
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,800
- Well, I have a Taser.
- Nina.
781
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:12,900
I think we should Taser him and throw
him into the shark tank at SeaWorld.
782
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:19,800
No. You think we should do a hex.
783
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:24,800
I think we should do a hex.
784
00:46:30,563 --> 00:46:31,531
Pinch of jasmine.
785
00:46:32,065 --> 00:46:33,692
Wolfbane.
786
00:46:34,067 --> 00:46:35,728
Grapefruit pith.
787
00:46:36,570 --> 00:46:37,764
Grapefruit pith.
788
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,100
I feel so alive.
789
00:46:40,100 --> 00:46:42,600
I feel like one of those people
I'd make fun of.
790
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,900
I feel like I believe in unicorns.
791
00:46:45,900 --> 00:46:49,100
Did I put in the wolfbane?
I can't remember.
792
00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:54,100
- Aunt Clara.
- Thank you, darling. Thank you.
793
00:46:55,586 --> 00:45:56,019
Oh, well.
794
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,800
Isabel.
795
00:47:18,612 --> 00:47:19,738
Isabel, bo-bel
796
00:47:19,613 --> 00:47:20,308
Bonana-fana fo-fel
797
00:47:21,615 --> 00:47:22,276
Fee-fy-fo-fel
798
00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:24,300
Isabel
799
00:47:25,618 --> 00:47:26,085
"The Name Game"!
800
00:47:27,300 --> 00:47:29,900
- Oh, boy.
- Good morning.
801
00:47:29,900 --> 00:47:32,700
Randall, take that stupid sign
off that machine.
802
00:47:32,700 --> 00:47:36,900
Free cappuccinos for everyone.
803
00:47:36,900 --> 00:47:39,600
- How we doing? Anyone seen Isabel?
- No, why?
804
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,700
Because I miss her.
805
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:42,900
- Listen, Jack.
- Yes?
806
00:47:42,900 --> 00:47:43,600
We got the test scores
from the pilot...
807
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,100
How did Isabel do?
Ninety-nine percent in the top box!
808
00:47:45,100 --> 00:47:51,200
Why didn't you tell me?
This is great news.
809
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,200
Of course she got a 99 percent.
Because she's dynamite.
810
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,000
Absolute dynamite.
811
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,400
High-fives all the way around.
812
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,600
But, Jack, there is a problem.
Your scores...
813
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,400
Thirty-two percent.
That's better than zero, huh?
814
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,600
You know what?
That's constructive criticism.
815
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:12,600
The dog scored higher than me.
He's a cute dog.
816
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:13,100
What do the comment cards say?
817
00:48:13,166 --> 00:48:14,827
Oh, they don't really...
818
00:48:15,100 --> 00:48:18,300
"Jack Wyatt is a real tool."
819
00:48:18,300 --> 00:48:22,300
But a good tool. Like a Jacksaw!
820
00:48:22,300 --> 00:48:25,000
You know what? Who cares? This just
means we got hard work to do, okay?
821
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,500
Hey, I never said I was perfect.
The important thing is Isabel.
822
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:30,512
- Isabel.
- Yeah, no question.
823
00:48:30,683 --> 00:48:31,300
- Agreed?
- Totally on board.
824
00:48:31,300 --> 00:48:33,400
Good morning, everyone.
825
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,100
There she is!
826
00:48:35,100 --> 00:48:39,100
Is it just my imagination, or is the room
actually brighter with her here?
827
00:48:39,100 --> 00:48:42,800
Look at this bundle
of miraculous talent.
828
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,500
Forget 99. I give her 100! 100!
829
00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:47,400
Rehearsing!
830
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:50,602
"Interior, apartment, day.
831
00:48:50,205 --> 00:48:53,400
Samantha and Darrin are sitting
in their overcrowded apartment."
832
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:58,800
Darrin, I think we should buy a house
and I found one that I love.
833
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:00,700
You nailed that!
834
00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:04,600
I'm about to have a heart attack.
Isn't she great?
835
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,600
And now I kiss her, because
she's in love with our new house.
836
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,900
Oh, you can't kiss me.
I'm not in this scene.
837
00:49:09,900 --> 00:49:11,300
- You're not in the scene?
- No.
838
00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:15,000
No, no, no. She isn't in the scene?
This isn't happening! What?!
839
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:19,200
She has to be in every scene!
Okay?
840
00:49:20,234 --> 00:49:23,300
Rewrite! Go! Rewrite.
841
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:26,900
Everyone, Isabel needs a joke.
842
00:49:26,900 --> 00:49:28,700
I would love a joke.
843
00:49:28,700 --> 00:49:30,700
One joke, coming up.
844
00:49:30,700 --> 00:49:32,600
Oh, and then I kiss her
because she's so funny.
845
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:34,700
And a job. She needs a job.
846
00:49:34,700 --> 00:49:39,400
Yes! Yes! Make this woman the CEO
of a multinational corporation.
847
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:41,900
- Good idea, Jack.
- No. Great idea.
848
00:49:41,900 --> 00:49:46,900
And then I kiss her
because she's so powerful.
849
00:49:48,900 --> 00:49:51,700
It's too much. What happened?
850
00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:54,600
Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara?
851
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,000
Please pick up the phone.
something terrible is happening.
852
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,100
Something terrible is happening.
853
00:50:00,100 --> 00:50:02,900
I know, I know.
It wasn't supposed to, and...
854
00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:05,000
You should never,
ever get involved with an actor.
855
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,700
I'm not involved with him.
I don't think.
856
00:50:07,700 --> 00:50:11,400
- Witch's honor?
- What?
857
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,200
I'm just being Endora.
858
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:18,600
Isabel, actors look normal.
Sometimes better than normal.
859
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,000
But deep down,
there is no deep down.
860
00:50:21,964 --> 00:50:23,898
I thought you were safe.
He loathed you.
861
00:50:23,966 --> 00:50:25,433
What on earth happened?
862
00:50:25,968 --> 00:50:26,993
A little witchcraft, I suspect.
863
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:31,300
Even though we weren't going to do it,
were we, darling?
864
00:50:31,300 --> 00:50:35,200
I'm Nigel Bigelow. I'm Isabel's father.
How do you do?
865
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,700
Daddy, we talked about this,
remember?
866
00:50:37,700 --> 00:50:40,200
- I'm...
- I know who you are.
867
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:43,500
I've seen everything
you've ever done.
868
00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:45,700
Lysistrata in Florence,
Blithe Spirit in New York.
869
00:50:45,700 --> 00:50:48,900
- Daddy!
- But your Endora is a marvel.
870
00:50:48,900 --> 00:50:51,100
It comes so easily, really.
871
00:50:51,100 --> 00:50:53,500
Oh, yes, because I am a witch.
872
00:50:53,500 --> 00:50:54,900
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yes.
873
00:50:54,900 --> 00:50:59,900
I put out all the lights in
Leicester Square just by walking past.
874
00:51:00,100 --> 00:51:01,200
Oh, tell me more.
Tell me everything.
875
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:06,200
- Oh, please come in.
- Charmed.
876
00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:08,700
This is just... What...?
877
00:51:08,700 --> 00:51:11,500
Isabel!
878
00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:13,900
Hey! Isabel! Isabel!
879
00:51:13,900 --> 00:51:18,500
Hi! Listen, maybe we could go
to dinner tonight. God, I'm so nervous.
880
00:51:18,500 --> 00:51:21,400
- I don't think so. I have to get home.
- We won't make it a date.
881
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,100
I'll just happen to stop by
and ask if you're hungry.
882
00:51:24,100 --> 00:51:25,600
- No.
- Yes! That's a yes!
883
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,200
- No!
- I'll be by at great.
884
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,600
I mean, I'll be by at 8.
885
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,900
Stop by if you need anything.
I'm right here. Okay.
886
00:51:37,100 --> 00:51:39,300
Aunt Clara!
887
00:51:39,300 --> 00:51:43,800
Undo it! Undo it!
You overdid it! Undo it!
888
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:44,500
- Oh, dear.
- Aunt Clara!
889
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:49,100
I'm not too sure how to undo it.
Undoing it's not the same as doing it.
890
00:51:49,100 --> 00:51:52,800
He wants to have dinner.
This isn't what I wanted.
891
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:54,300
Lorna Doone?
892
00:51:54,300 --> 00:51:55,900
No!
893
00:51:55,900 --> 00:52:00,800
Darling, I'm sure you can undo the hex
if you really want to.
894
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:05,100
I'm expected in Japan.
895
00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:10,100
That certainly didn't work, did it?
896
00:52:10,700 --> 00:52:12,500
Aunt Clara?
897
00:52:12,500 --> 00:52:15,700
Aunt Clara,
come back here right now.
898
00:52:15,700 --> 00:52:19,100
He's gonna be here any minute.
Aunt Clara!
899
00:52:19,100 --> 00:52:21,600
But that doesn't matter,
because I'm not going out with him.
900
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,600
No, no, I'm not. I'm not!
901
00:52:23,086 --> 00:52:24,610
Oh, I'd better...
902
00:52:29,591 --> 00:52:31,422
Oh, who cares what I look like.
903
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,200
I'm just gonna undo the hex.
904
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:40,200
I'm not even gonna bother
dressing up.
905
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:54,000
I'm just gonna open the door,
undo it and slam the door in his face!
906
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:57,500
Hey. I just happened to be in the
neighborhood with these roses...
907
00:52:57,500 --> 00:52:59,300
...and a Cat Stevens CD...
908
00:52:59,300 --> 00:53:01,200
...and this bracelet...
909
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,000
...and I thought I'd stop by.
910
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:09,300
- You're sweating.
- Like a pig.
911
00:53:10,500 --> 00:53:11,900
Oh, how divine.
912
00:53:12,900 --> 00:53:13,400
You look stunning.
913
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:15,400
No! Ravishing.
914
00:53:16,638 --> 00:53:18,004
You look "stunnishing."
915
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:26,900
Is this your purse?
916
00:53:26,900 --> 00:53:28,500
You're not too cold, are you?
917
00:53:28,500 --> 00:53:30,800
- No.
- You're not too warm?
918
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:31,600
Okay.
919
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,500
- Are we going somewhere?
- Dinner.
920
00:53:36,657 --> 00:53:38,818
Here. Here you go.
921
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,500
I wanna know everything.
922
00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:46,200
You talk, okay?
I'm just gonna listen.
923
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:49,800
Shed your radiance
and I'll just soak it up like a plant.
924
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,200
Start in kindergarten.
925
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:55,200
I didn't go to kindergarten.
I was homeschooled.
926
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,500
You were homeschooled? So was I.
927
00:53:58,500 --> 00:53:59,600
How amazing. That's freaky.
928
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,200
I'm getting chills.
929
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,400
Yeah, that is kind of amazing.
930
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:05,700
My parents were hippies.
Were yours?
931
00:54:05,700 --> 00:54:08,700
- No.
- That's so weird!
932
00:54:08,700 --> 00:54:11,900
My parents were hippies,
and yours weren't. What are the odds?
933
00:54:11,900 --> 00:54:13,900
But we did have incense
and candles.
934
00:54:13,900 --> 00:54:15,600
- So did we.
- You did?
935
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,400
To this day,
incense makes me puke.
936
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:18,600
Yes, me too!
937
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,800
- Amazing!
- Wow.
938
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:22,700
I brought duck.
939
00:54:22,700 --> 00:54:24,200
I love duck.
940
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,800
So do I. How amazing is that?
941
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:28,600
Well, most people love duck.
942
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,300
You know what? No, they don't.
943
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:33,100
Wait. I wrote you a song.
944
00:54:33,100 --> 00:54:34,800
No one's ever written me a song.
945
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:39,100
Well, I did.
946
00:54:39,100 --> 00:54:43,400
Hey, pretty lady
947
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:47,600
Come back here with my heart
948
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:52,200
Hey, pretty lady
949
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:55,900
Are you a dream made real?
950
00:54:55,900 --> 00:55:00,700
My soul, you have healed
951
00:55:00,700 --> 00:55:03,700
Make me a better man
952
00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:05,700
I wanna set up residence
953
00:55:06,250 --> 00:55:08,879
In your promised land
954
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:17,000
Okay, and this is
the power ballad guitar solo.
955
00:55:20,263 --> 00:55:21,321
Promised land!
956
00:55:21,900 --> 00:55:24,900
Now you sing the chorus.
957
00:55:25,267 --> 00:55:26,962
Promised land
958
00:55:27,770 --> 00:55:28,294
Drum solo.
959
00:55:31,274 --> 00:55:32,434
Promised land!
960
00:55:33,775 --> 00:55:35,208
Leg kick.
961
00:55:35,777 --> 00:55:37,904
Okay, I'm gonna break the guitar.
962
00:55:37,779 --> 00:55:39,474
Promised land!
963
00:55:44,286 --> 00:54:46,015
Promised land!
964
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,800
We're about to kiss, aren't we?
965
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:02,800
I thought so, but thanks for ruining
the moment, Miss Narrator.
966
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:08,000
Oh, my ruby jewel.
967
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,200
- What?
- My chocolate-covered strawberry.
968
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,700
I wanna bask in our love...
969
00:56:13,700 --> 00:56:18,100
...like a house cat lying in the sun.
970
00:56:18,100 --> 00:56:21,400
Jack, Jack, Jack.
Stop. Stop. I forgot.
971
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:23,700
Oh, I let myself forget.
972
00:56:23,700 --> 00:56:26,100
It was so nice.
I couldn't help myself, and...
973
00:56:26,100 --> 00:56:28,000
Oh, Jack!
974
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,800
This is sad. This is... No.
975
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,000
Let's make love in a hot-air balloon.
976
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,700
Let's make love in a candy factory.
977
00:56:36,338 --> 00:56:37,896
Let's make love in a petting zoo.
978
00:56:38,700 --> 00:56:39,200
I have to undo this, I do.
979
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:42,000
Let's make love at SeaWorld,
on the back of a killer whale.
980
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:48,600
Because it doesn't mean anything
unless it's real.
981
00:56:55,300 --> 00:56:57,300
What witches wish
No mortal needs
982
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:01,818
Let time repent
And unsow its seeds
983
00:57:02,300 --> 00:57:06,100
And now, I speak the ancient word
of redemption and regret:
984
00:57:06,100 --> 00:57:11,100
Rewind.
985
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:45,000
So you leave the nose-wiggling
to the witch.
986
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:48,100
- But you do it so well.
- I did coach her, though.
987
00:57:48,100 --> 00:57:49,400
Can we get a close-up
on the nose?
988
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:52,600
I'd rather not.
989
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:55,600
Which camera?
990
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:58,200
Hello, Nina.
991
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,300
I just knew it was you. That's all.
992
00:58:00,300 --> 00:58:04,900
Yes, he is. He is a giant
male reproductive organ.
993
00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:07,500
We don't need a plan.
I already know what I'm gonna do.
994
00:58:07,500 --> 00:58:10,200
I'm gonna speak to him
about his behavior.
995
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:15,100
I'm gonna talk to him sensibly and
directly, and I know he will change.
996
00:58:15,100 --> 00:58:20,900
You'll see. Bye.
997
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:26,000
Butt out, Samantha,
I know what I'm doing.
998
00:58:26,900 --> 00:58:31,900
I mean it.
999
00:58:31,703 --> 00:58:32,170
Jack, Jack, bo-back
1000
00:58:33,954 --> 00:58:34,785
Bonana-fana fo-fack
1001
00:58:34,956 --> 00:58:35,821
Fee-fi-bo-back
1002
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,700
Jack
1003
00:58:38,700 --> 00:58:42,400
Guys, make me 20 cappuccinos.
Bring me the best one.
1004
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:44,700
Hey, J-Bone. Hey, buddy.
1005
00:58:44,700 --> 00:58:45,800
The test scores are in.
1006
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:48,600
How'd I do? Ninety?
Hundred? One-twenty.
1007
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:49,900
- One-forty!
- Good ballpark.
1008
00:58:49,900 --> 00:58:53,400
What did it say?
I got it. I got it right here.
1009
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:54,700
Thirty-two.
1010
00:58:54,700 --> 00:58:56,900
I got a 32?
1011
00:58:56,900 --> 00:58:58,600
Is that for real?
1012
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,200
The dog scored higher than I did.
1013
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,600
Well, it's not you, Jack, it's Darrin.
1014
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:06,900
"That Jack Wyatt is a real tool.
We hate him.
1015
00:59:06,900 --> 00:59:11,200
We mean the actor,
not the character."
1016
00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:15,000
Get a grip.
1017
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,000
Hug me.
1018
00:59:18,499 --> 00:59:20,966
Come here.
1019
00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:24,500
I'm gonna be doing dinner theater
in Boca Raton.
1020
00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:27,800
They hate the show,
the whole show.
1021
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:29,200
They hate everyone on it.
1022
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:30,900
- Yeah, everybody.
- They did. Yep.
1023
00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:33,600
Isabel must've gotten savaged.
1024
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:35,700
She got a 99?!
1025
00:59:35,700 --> 00:59:37,300
Ninety-nine? Is this for real?
1026
00:59:37,300 --> 00:59:38,900
Is that a joke?
1027
00:59:38,900 --> 00:59:41,300
She didn't say anything!
1028
00:59:41,300 --> 00:59:43,600
How is it that someone
who doesn't say anything...
1029
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,400
...scores higher than someone
who had all the lines?
1030
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:47,800
Oh, my...
1031
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:50,100
Did anyone anticipate this
as a possibility?
1032
00:59:50,100 --> 00:59:52,400
Hindsight's 20l20.
1033
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:54,500
- Good morning, everyone.
- And they think I'm a tool?!
1034
00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:57,100
I haven't been called a tool
since I was 15!
1035
00:59:57,100 --> 01:00:00,200
Thank you, guys! Thank you!
1036
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:03,300
You know what?
No one ever liked Darrin! No one!
1037
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:06,400
Why did we ever think
that was gonna change?
1038
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:07,400
I have something to say.
1039
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:11,500
This is unbelievable! A 32?
1040
01:00:11,500 --> 01:00:14,300
That's for real?
A three in front of a two?
1041
01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:15,300
Oh, my God!
1042
01:00:15,300 --> 01:00:16,700
Wait, I have something to say.
1043
01:00:16,700 --> 01:00:19,500
A 32 and she got 99?!
1044
01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:20,400
Were they high?!
1045
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,700
Were the people
in the test group high?
1046
01:00:23,700 --> 01:00:25,600
Did we drug test them?
1047
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:28,600
Were they just sitting in the studio,
smoking crack, saying:
1048
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:34,400
"Let's give her a 99 and him a 32.
By the way, I'm high on crack"?!
1049
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,100
I have something to say!
1050
01:00:36,100 --> 01:00:37,900
What?!
1051
01:00:37,900 --> 01:00:39,700
You're a jerk.
1052
01:00:39,700 --> 01:00:44,600
What did you just say?
1053
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,400
I said, you're a jerk!
1054
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:50,800
Everything is about you.
1055
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:53,700
You are selfish.
And you are self-centered.
1056
01:00:53,700 --> 01:00:57,300
And you lied to me. You said you
needed me. You don't need anyone!
1057
01:00:57,300 --> 01:01:00,000
Listen, sweetie, why don't you go to
your trailer and take a Midol?
1058
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:03,500
Hey! You be quiet,
or I'll give you a tail!
1059
01:01:03,500 --> 01:01:06,800
- Just calm down.
- You sit down!
1060
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:08,100
Sit down!
1061
01:01:08,100 --> 01:01:13,900
This show is supposed to be
about a marriage.
1062
01:01:13,900 --> 01:01:19,000
A real marriage, with real problems,
like what color to paint the kitchen...
1063
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:22,200
...or, I don't know, other problems,
I can't even think of them now.
1064
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,900
But the only problems you care about
are your own!
1065
01:01:24,900 --> 01:01:29,100
No wonder the audience
doesn't like this show!
1066
01:01:29,100 --> 01:01:31,000
A witch marries a mortal.
1067
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,600
Who in their right mind
would want to marry you?
1068
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,500
- Hey!
- Excuse me. That's it. You're fired.
1069
01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:40,300
Doesn't matter. I quit!
1070
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:43,700
Yeah! So...
1071
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,300
...you better call my agent.
1072
01:01:45,300 --> 01:01:46,800
You don't have an agent.
1073
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:50,600
Then call my cable man!
1074
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:55,600
Sorry. So...
1075
01:02:02,300 --> 01:02:03,500
You all right?
1076
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:05,700
No one's talked to me like that
in 20 years.
1077
01:02:05,700 --> 01:02:08,300
Once a week a woman
talks to me like that.
1078
01:02:08,300 --> 01:02:11,500
She just stripped me bare
and stuck the knife in.
1079
01:02:11,500 --> 01:02:13,600
Let's go to The Peninsula
and get some oysters.
1080
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,100
You know what I think?
1081
01:02:15,100 --> 01:02:19,300
- Hey. The woman needs a part.
- I'm sorry?
1082
01:02:19,300 --> 01:02:22,000
I mean, if you got Sammy Sosa,
you don't bench him.
1083
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:26,000
If you got Gorbachev in the ballet,
you let him dance the big number.
1084
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,500
I don't think Gorbachev
was a dancer.
1085
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:34,700
Yes, he was, Richie.
He absolutely was. Look it up.
1086
01:02:36,900 --> 01:02:39,100
Isabel! Hey!
1087
01:02:39,100 --> 01:02:40,600
Hey, Isabel!
1088
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,600
Wait, wait, wait, don't go!
1089
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:44,000
Isabel!
1090
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:47,700
Please don't go. Please don't go.
That was incredible.
1091
01:02:47,700 --> 01:02:50,800
- What?
- Just now. That.
1092
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:54,400
I mean, you yelled at me.
You were up-front, and honest...
1093
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,200
...and you called me out
on all my crap.
1094
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,500
It was just great.
1095
01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:00,500
Oh, God, I'm hyperventilating.
1096
01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:02,800
I've never done anything like this.
1097
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:06,000
It was very hard,
but secretly quite thrilling.
1098
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:10,200
Even my ex-wife, she never yelled.
She just locked me out.
1099
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:13,400
In my family,
we usually just disappear.
1100
01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:15,600
No, no, don't disappear, Isabel.
One more show.
1101
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:17,700
One more show.
1102
01:03:17,700 --> 01:03:21,500
- I don't think so.
- No, one more taping. Please?
1103
01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:26,900
It's just that I'm feeling that...
I'm feeling like maybe...
1104
01:03:26,900 --> 01:03:31,000
- I'm sorry.
- What'd you say?
1105
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:34,000
I'm sorry for how I've been.
I'm sorry.
1106
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,100
You're sweating again.
1107
01:03:38,100 --> 01:03:39,500
I know, just...
1108
01:03:38,100 --> 01:03:39,500
I just... Look, one more.
1109
01:03:39,500 --> 01:03:40,700
I love it when you sweat.
1110
01:03:40,700 --> 01:03:44,000
One more! Just one more.
1111
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,900
And the second I'm being a jerk,
you can yell, "Hey! He's being a jerk!"
1112
01:03:47,900 --> 01:03:50,100
And we'll shut the whole thing down,
I promise.
1113
01:03:50,100 --> 01:03:51,800
We'll burn down the sets...
1114
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:55,000
...and sell the costumes,
and give the money to little children.
1115
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,400
I mean, that's one
possible scenario.
1116
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,500
You want me to say
"He's being a jerk"?
1117
01:03:59,500 --> 01:04:01,500
Yeah. Or you can yell, I mean...
1118
01:04:01,500 --> 01:04:02,100
He's being a jerk!
1119
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,100
He's being a jerk!
1120
01:04:06,100 --> 01:04:07,000
Yes.
1121
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,900
I can't just walk back in there now.
1122
01:04:13,900 --> 01:04:17,600
Once you show up on a golf cart,
believe me, all is forgiven.
1123
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:19,100
I've done it a lot of times.
1124
01:04:19,100 --> 01:04:22,100
But I was fired.
Oh, no. That's right, I quit.
1125
01:04:22,100 --> 01:04:28,300
Yeah. Here, let me carry your plant.
1126
01:04:34,300 --> 01:04:36,100
Honey, your mother's here.
1127
01:04:36,100 --> 01:04:37,500
Are you two getting along?
1128
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:42,500
Not exactly.
1129
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,500
- Like this?
- You're doing great.
1130
01:04:45,500 --> 01:04:50,500
Really, really great. One more time.
1131
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,500
So it says here that marriage
can lead to a loss of passion.
1132
01:05:07,500 --> 01:05:13,900
It's true.
I feel empty and bored already.
1133
01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:21,700
- Oh, great. It's you.
- Mother!
1134
01:05:21,700 --> 01:05:23,600
I see you two are
actually getting along?
1135
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:27,200
Endora, you rancid fruit bag,
get out of my room.
1136
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,900
- Darrin!
- And my daughter is happy?
1137
01:05:29,900 --> 01:05:34,900
That is the cruelest twist of all.
1138
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:44,000
I am happy, Darrin.
Real, honest, no-spells happy.
1139
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:51,400
And cut!
1140
01:05:51,700 --> 01:05:56,700
Actors, cut.
1141
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,000
Really, cut now.
1142
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,800
You were great today.
Just absolutely amazing.
1143
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,800
1144
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:04,400
I don't think I've ever had
so much fun.
1145
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:06,800
Acting is fun.
1146
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:11,800
That is a profoundly true thing.
1147
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:13,700
Would you like a water chestnut?
1148
01:06:13,700 --> 01:06:18,700
I'd love a water chestnut.
1149
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:25,100
I'm gonna teach you
everything I know...
1150
01:06:25,100 --> 01:06:27,621
...starting with...
1151
01:06:28,429 --> 01:06:29,400
...the eye thing.
1152
01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:32,000
The famous crazy-eye thing
of mine.
1153
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:37,000
Okay?
1154
01:06:37,300 --> 01:06:40,200
This almost won me
a Golden Globe.
1155
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,000
Almost.
1156
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,900
- Is that it?
- That's good.
1157
01:06:45,900 --> 01:06:48,500
Oh, that's even better.
1158
01:06:48,500 --> 01:06:50,700
This is the "I just realized things
are worse than they seem" thing.
1159
01:06:50,700 --> 01:06:55,200
Also known as "the Yikes Take."
1160
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:58,000
Yikes!
1161
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,300
Wow.
1162
01:07:00,300 --> 01:07:02,500
Yikes!
1163
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:03,800
- That was terrible.
- It's okay.
1164
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:07,500
- No, I was terrible.
- I don't think mine was good, either.
1165
01:07:07,500 --> 01:07:09,500
That's it. I'm out of tricks.
1166
01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:12,200
- What about the funny walk you do?
- The funny walk?
1167
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:14,100
- You don't wanna see the walk.
- I do.
1168
01:07:14,100 --> 01:07:15,600
Funny walk is embarrassing.
1169
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,000
I'd like to see it.
1170
01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:19,800
Yeah?
1171
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:24,800
Okay. Let's go to our place.
1172
01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:30,400
Magic hour.
1173
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:37,300
- Is that it?
- That's great.
1174
01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:38,700
It's much harder than it looks.
1175
01:07:39,024 --> 01:07:41,288
Five, six, seven, eight.
1176
01:07:42,540 --> 01:07:43,440
- Move back!
- Hey!
1177
01:09:17,300 --> 01:09:22,300
Something magical happened
all by itself.
1178
01:09:24,500 --> 01:09:26,800
Table read in 10 minutes!
1179
01:09:27,192 --> 01:09:28,420
Okay, close it up!
1180
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:34,500
- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning, Jack.
1181
01:09:34,500 --> 01:09:37,100
Look, Jack, I just need to talk to you
about a couple of these things.
1182
01:09:37,100 --> 01:09:39,100
Number one,
we're thinking about moving...
1183
01:09:40,205 --> 01:09:42,231
...the whole kitchen scene.
Just... It's such...
1184
01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:45,500
It's a funny scene.
1185
01:09:45,500 --> 01:09:50,500
It's really funny.
We'd like to get it in a little earlier.
1186
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:58,000
So probably what we're gonna do is
switch it with the office.
1187
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:00,400
But we're gonna drop that
to a little later on in the show.
1188
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:01,900
Dude. Dudes, are you watching Jack
throw the vibe to Isabel right now?
1189
01:10:01,900 --> 01:10:05,300
How are you?
1190
01:10:05,300 --> 01:10:07,200
I'm great.
1191
01:10:13,700 --> 01:10:14,700
That's for you.
1192
01:10:14,700 --> 01:10:19,000
Thank you.
1193
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:22,713
- Call me.
- That's fantastic.
1194
01:10:20,747 --> 01:10:21,214
Stop.
1195
01:10:22,749 --> 01:10:24,000
Fine.
1196
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,000
Yeah. I mean,
I can find something for him.
1197
01:10:27,252 --> 01:10:30,915
I'll put him in a little part with maybe
no lines or anything like that.
1198
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:33,200
What is going on
between you and Jack?
1199
01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:35,400
Nothing is going on.
1200
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:37,600
We had a date and we kissed...
1201
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:40,000
...and now we just wanna spend
all of our time together.
1202
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:43,600
That is the very definition
of something going on.
1203
01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:48,400
And you know what?
I didn't use any tricks. I am trick-free.
1204
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:51,000
Oh, my God, it's her.
1205
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,400
- Who?
- Jack's wife.
1206
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:56,700
I saw a picture of her in InStyle
when she was the fashion "don't."
1207
01:10:56,700 --> 01:10:58,500
Excuse me. I'm looking for Jack.
1208
01:10:58,500 --> 01:11:00,900
You must be Samantha.
1209
01:11:00,900 --> 01:11:03,600
You look just like the old one.
1210
01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:06,000
Thank you so much.
1211
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:08,100
Oh, excuse me.
1212
01:11:08,100 --> 01:11:09,900
Love the nose.
1213
01:11:09,900 --> 01:11:11,900
Good work.
1214
01:11:11,900 --> 01:11:15,700
There he is. There's my guy.
1215
01:11:15,700 --> 01:11:17,800
I've missed him so much.
1216
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:22,800
Let's just say the "Do Not Disturb" sign
will be on the doorknob tonight.
1217
01:11:27,300 --> 01:11:29,100
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, God!
1218
01:11:29,100 --> 01:11:31,900
Help me lift it. Help me lift it.
Slowly, slowly, slowly.
1219
01:11:31,900 --> 01:11:36,900
That was a little harsh.
1220
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,600
I've missed him so much.
1221
01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:45,600
Let's just say the "Do Not Disturb" sign
will be on the doorknob tonight.
1222
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:49,900
- Sheila.
- Hi, baby.
1223
01:11:49,900 --> 01:11:51,600
What are you doing here?
1224
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:54,600
You want my car?
My grandmother's brooch.
1225
01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:57,100
Oh! You want more money.
1226
01:11:57,100 --> 01:11:59,800
Ding-ding-ding! Correct answer.
1227
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:02,600
No.
1228
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:05,600
- I want you back.
- What about Captain Underpants?
1229
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:09,700
I'm through with him.
I love you, Jack.
1230
01:12:09,700 --> 01:12:13,300
Oh, wait, wait, I get it. You heard
that the show's getting picked up.
1231
01:12:13,300 --> 01:12:16,000
I heard it's gonna be a hit.
1232
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,000
But so what?
1233
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:24,100
I want you. I want my husband.
1234
01:12:24,100 --> 01:12:28,500
You know, a week ago
I would've fallen for that.
1235
01:12:28,500 --> 01:12:30,900
But now there's someone else.
1236
01:12:30,900 --> 01:12:34,300
Someone who's incapable of guile.
1237
01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:36,200
What's guile?
1238
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:37,800
I'm not gonna do it.
1239
01:12:37,800 --> 01:12:41,500
I think it means tricks.
1240
01:12:41,500 --> 01:12:46,500
- I love you, baby.
- No, I'm not.
1241
01:12:46,500 --> 01:12:51,500
Maybe I will.
1242
01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:58,700
- What the heck is going on?!
- Joey.
1243
01:12:58,700 --> 01:13:02,100
This place is spooked. I quit.
1244
01:13:02,100 --> 01:13:04,000
Joey. Joey, come back here.
1245
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:05,500
Get me a mirror! Jack!
1246
01:13:05,500 --> 01:13:09,400
- Jack!
- Are you okay?
1247
01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:12,900
Am I okay?!
1248
01:13:12,900 --> 01:13:15,000
And one more time.
1249
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:20,900
I'm fine. And I'm signing
the divorce papers right now.
1250
01:13:20,900 --> 01:13:24,000
You are?
1251
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,400
Maybe two.
1252
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:30,600
And I'm moving out of the house
this afternoon.
1253
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:33,100
Where are you going?
1254
01:13:33,100 --> 01:13:35,600
Reykjavak.
1255
01:13:35,600 --> 01:13:38,600
- Where is it?
- Iceland.
1256
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:41,300
I love ice.
1257
01:13:41,300 --> 01:13:47,800
Goodbye, everyone!
I'm off to Reykjavak!
1258
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:48,700
Oh, my God.
1259
01:13:48,700 --> 01:13:50,100
Everyone, did you just see that?
1260
01:13:50,100 --> 01:13:53,100
She's gonna sign the papers!
This is incredible.
1261
01:13:53,100 --> 01:13:55,900
- Isabel.
- Party at my house!
1262
01:13:53,100 --> 01:13:55,900
1263
01:13:55,900 --> 01:14:00,900
You're out of control.
1264
01:14:24,300 --> 01:14:27,900
Every time I think I have things
nailed down, I just lose it.
1265
01:14:27,900 --> 01:14:31,300
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.
It's gonna be okay.
1266
01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:34,400
Oh, whoa. Who is that?
1267
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:35,400
No, Maria. No.
1268
01:14:36,085 --> 01:14:37,575
Too late.
1269
01:14:38,087 --> 01:14:39,679
Second of all, like...
1270
01:14:40,700 --> 01:14:46,100
Everyone, can I have your attention,
please? I just wanna say a few words.
1271
01:14:46,100 --> 01:14:51,400
Randall, can we deal with this?
Thank you.
1272
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:53,700
Where do I start? What a night.
Is everyone having fun? Yeah?
1273
01:14:55,100 --> 01:15:01,800
Great. I'm so grateful
for so many things tonight.
1274
01:15:01,800 --> 01:15:06,600
The show, all of you amazing
and talented people...
1275
01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:10,300
...and especially Isabel.
1276
01:15:10,300 --> 01:15:12,300
To a woman who'd never trick me
into thinking...
1277
01:15:12,622 --> 01:15:15,647
...she was something she wasn't.
1278
01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:19,300
From now on,
everyone tells the truth. Okay?
1279
01:15:19,300 --> 01:15:24,300
Except if I don't look good,
say I do anyway.
1280
01:15:26,200 --> 01:15:29,900
Isabel, you are a beautiful person.
1281
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:31,800
And that's the truth.
1282
01:15:31,800 --> 01:15:33,700
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
1283
01:15:33,700 --> 01:15:34,300
Have a great time.
1284
01:15:35,144 --> 01:15:36,338
Cheers.
1285
01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:38,300
Don't break anything, okay?
1286
01:15:39,147 --> 01:15:44,138
- We won't, Jack.
- Thank you.
1287
01:15:50,500 --> 01:15:52,100
I hope that touching speech...
1288
01:15:52,100 --> 01:15:54,700
...hasn't made you think
that you should tell the truth.
1289
01:15:54,700 --> 01:15:56,400
- I'm going to.
- Oh, don't be silly.
1290
01:15:56,400 --> 01:16:00,000
And he's gonna accept me. He's got to.
You can't live with a secret like that.
1291
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:03,500
Of course you can.
For thousands of years.
1292
01:16:03,500 --> 01:16:07,500
Don't do it. Big mistake. Won't work.
1293
01:16:07,500 --> 01:16:08,700
Well, hello there.
Now, don't tell me...
1294
01:16:08,700 --> 01:16:12,700
Coconut shrimps.
1295
01:16:12,700 --> 01:16:13,800
Oh, yes. Would you like one?
1296
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:17,500
Yes. Thank you.
1297
01:16:17,500 --> 01:16:19,500
Do you know, you're quite fetching.
1298
01:16:19,500 --> 01:16:22,700
And I'm Nigel Bigelow.
1299
01:16:22,700 --> 01:16:27,500
Yes. I will sleep with you because
I have a thing for father figures.
1300
01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:29,000
Well, that's great, then.
1301
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:31,800
But in the morning, I will not get
90 percent of your jokes...
1302
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:36,800
...and I'll go on and on about
opening an aerobics center in Agoura.
1303
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:42,800
Are you looking for me?
1304
01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:45,800
Missing you, actually.
1305
01:16:46,214 --> 01:16:48,648
- How strange.
- Not really.
1306
01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:05,600
I'm just gonna say it like it's
a completely matter-of-fact thing.
1307
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:07,700
- Guess what.
- What?
1308
01:17:07,700 --> 01:17:10,100
I'm a witch.
1309
01:17:10,100 --> 01:17:13,000
- Guess what.
- What?
1310
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:17,000
I'm a Clippers fan.
1311
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:19,400
Yeah, it's not like it's a big deal.
1312
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:23,900
I'm not a bad witch, and we're getting
it out there and telling the truth, right?
1313
01:17:23,900 --> 01:17:28,900
Right. And I'm not just a fan.
1314
01:17:28,900 --> 01:17:29,000
I made the mistake of buying
courtside seats.
1315
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:33,700
No, no, no, really. Jack. Jack, I am.
I, Isabel Bigelow, I'm a witch.
1316
01:17:33,700 --> 01:17:36,800
Okay, great. So you're a witch.
1317
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:38,600
Come on, let's make out
in the hall closet.
1318
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:40,700
- Jack.
- Okay, okay, I'll play along.
1319
01:17:40,700 --> 01:17:42,700
Like it's an improv. Prove it.
1320
01:17:42,700 --> 01:17:47,700
So I just said, "Listen, you guys,
I believe Cher has another hit in her."
1321
01:17:48,500 --> 01:17:51,100
- Really?
- Yeah.
1322
01:17:51,100 --> 01:17:52,800
Wow, fantastic trick.
1323
01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:56,100
Not a trick.
1324
01:17:56,100 --> 01:17:59,600
Whoa! How'd you do that?
1325
01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:02,300
To the most powerful witch ever.
1326
01:18:02,300 --> 01:18:03,800
Can you make an umbrella appear
in this drink?
1327
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,400
- I can.
- Really?
1328
01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:08,800
That's amazing.
1329
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:12,500
I had no idea you were
an amateur magician.
1330
01:18:12,500 --> 01:18:16,000
Hey. Wait. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, I'm talking to you.
1331
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:19,300
Hey, Isabel. I'm...
1332
01:18:19,300 --> 01:18:24,000
Jack, listen to me, I was born a witch,
my parents are witches, I'm a witch.
1333
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:26,800
- A real witch.
- That's right, Isabel.
1334
01:18:26,800 --> 01:18:28,600
- You go, girl.
- Isabel, you tell him.
1335
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:31,600
That is cool. That's great.
1336
01:18:31,600 --> 01:18:35,900
You are very frustrating.
1337
01:18:35,900 --> 01:18:40,300
Do you have some Daniel Day-Lewis
thing happening here?
1338
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:41,600
How's it going?
1339
01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:46,600
I'm leaving.
1340
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:51,900
Thank you.
1341
01:18:51,900 --> 01:18:57,900
Hey there. I have hepatitis C.
1342
01:18:59,800 --> 01:19:01,300
Isabel? Isabel.
1343
01:19:01,300 --> 01:19:05,700
Isabel, what's going on?
Come back to the party.
1344
01:19:05,700 --> 01:19:09,500
What are you...?
Where are you going? What...?
1345
01:19:09,500 --> 01:19:11,900
Wow. That's really cool.
Did Props make that?
1346
01:19:11,900 --> 01:19:14,500
- I keep trying to tell you...
- Can I get your car, miss?
1347
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:16,900
She doesn't need her car,
she has her broomstick.
1348
01:19:16,900 --> 01:19:19,100
- You think I'm nuts, don't you?
- Of course not.
1349
01:19:19,100 --> 01:19:23,000
I know plenty of women who
carry around collapsible broomsticks.
1350
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:26,100
- I'll get the car.
- It won't be there. I sent it home.
1351
01:19:26,100 --> 01:19:28,400
This looks so real.
I can't even see the buttons.
1352
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:30,500
It is real.
1353
01:19:30,500 --> 01:19:32,200
Flies too.
1354
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:33,400
Oh, I'd love to see that.
1355
01:19:33,400 --> 01:19:39,100
- Hang on.
- What?
1356
01:19:42,700 --> 01:19:47,700
Put me down!
1357
01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:53,300
I kept trying to tell you.
1358
01:19:53,300 --> 01:19:54,400
It's no big deal, Jack.
1359
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:57,100
- It's no big deal.
- This is a huge deal!
1360
01:19:57,100 --> 01:19:59,000
We can work this out.
It's just who I happen to be.
1361
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:00,500
- Get away from me.
- What?
1362
01:20:00,500 --> 01:20:02,500
You tricked me!
You put spells on me!
1363
01:20:02,500 --> 01:20:05,500
Well, only a few, yes, I did.
But I took most of them off.
1364
01:20:05,500 --> 01:20:10,600
Help! Someone help!
1365
01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:11,700
Jack. I thought this would be okay.
1366
01:20:11,700 --> 01:20:13,300
How would it be okay?!
1367
01:20:13,300 --> 01:20:15,100
Because it's me. It's still me.
1368
01:20:15,100 --> 01:20:18,200
- I'm a little freaked out now.
- I know, but I can't change what I am.
1369
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:21,100
- Are you crazy? Are you even human?
- Jack!
1370
01:20:21,100 --> 01:20:22,400
- Am I gonna get pregnant?
- What?
1371
01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:24,500
Because I can't get pregnant
right now!
1372
01:20:24,500 --> 01:20:26,300
How does this work?
Will I get webbed feet?
1373
01:20:26,300 --> 01:20:27,000
You're hurting my feelings.
1374
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:28,600
Shoo! Shoo!
1375
01:20:29,438 --> 01:20:30,632
- Shoo?
- Shoo!
1376
01:20:30,600 --> 01:20:33,200
- Now you're making me angry!
- Go! Scat!
1377
01:20:33,200 --> 01:20:34,600
- You want me to leave?
- Yes!
1378
01:20:34,600 --> 01:20:36,100
- Fine!
- Fine!
1379
01:20:36,100 --> 01:20:37,700
- Fine!
- Fine!
1380
01:20:37,700 --> 01:20:42,700
Goodbye, Jack.
1381
01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:55,200
You jerk!
1382
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:06,900
Sorry, Mr. Wyatt, I can't find her car.
1383
01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:25,100
So she quit. So what?
1384
01:21:25,100 --> 01:21:26,100
How's Jack taking all this?
1385
01:21:26,100 --> 01:21:29,400
Let me tell you guys something.
Jack Wyatt's like a jet fighter pilot.
1386
01:21:29,400 --> 01:21:33,200
Nothing rattles him.
I'm sure he's just at the gym.
1387
01:21:33,200 --> 01:21:36,200
Hey, okay. Stop holding my arm.
1388
01:21:36,200 --> 01:21:39,600
Found him picking up pennies
out of a shopping-mall water fountain.
1389
01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:43,300
Thank you so much, officer.
How much do I tip you for that?
1390
01:21:43,300 --> 01:21:45,000
- You don't tip me.
- Hey, Jack.
1391
01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:47,100
- Hey, all.
- Hey, big guy.
1392
01:21:47,100 --> 01:21:48,300
- How's it going?
- What's up, Jack?
1393
01:21:48,300 --> 01:21:49,700
- You all right?
- Boy.
1394
01:21:49,700 --> 01:21:53,400
Yeah, I'm all right.
I've never been better. Come on.
1395
01:21:53,400 --> 01:21:55,800
What's the bottle of ketchup for?
1396
01:21:55,800 --> 01:21:59,600
- Come again?
- The...
1397
01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:01,900
Oh. Forgot to leave it
at this diner in Mexico.
1398
01:22:01,900 --> 01:22:04,100
Don't freak out on us, Jack.
1399
01:22:04,100 --> 01:22:07,600
- You're fired.
- Classic.
1400
01:22:07,600 --> 01:22:08,900
- Anyone have a light?
- Yo.
1401
01:22:08,900 --> 01:22:10,600
- I do.
- Right here, pal.
1402
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:12,900
Everybody. Let's just calm down.
1403
01:22:12,900 --> 01:22:16,800
We've only shot two episodes.
We've got 10 weeks before we air.
1404
01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:20,300
- So we recast. Piece of cake.
- Next.
1405
01:22:20,300 --> 01:22:22,700
I don't know. It'll be hard to find
somebody with those scores.
1406
01:22:23,552 --> 01:22:24,883
It's good scores, good scores.
1407
01:22:24,700 --> 01:22:25,800
- She's a witch.
- That's more like it.
1408
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:29,300
You just keep telling yourself that, man.
1409
01:22:29,300 --> 01:22:30,600
I'm fine, really.
1410
01:22:30,600 --> 01:22:34,700
I mean, last night I ate three burritos
and smashed every dish in my house.
1411
01:22:34,700 --> 01:22:38,500
Isabel. You can't let this guy
ruin your life.
1412
01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:40,500
They're recasting your role.
1413
01:22:40,500 --> 01:22:42,900
They're recasting my role already?
1414
01:22:42,900 --> 01:22:45,800
- Well, you quit.
- Tough town.
1415
01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:47,500
- I mean, like, what happened?
- He said I wasn't human.
1416
01:22:47,500 --> 01:22:52,500
And he waved a tree branch
at me. Like:
1417
01:22:53,300 --> 01:22:54,800
There must be a solution.
1418
01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:56,700
No, there isn't.
1419
01:22:56,700 --> 01:23:02,400
We're at the Coffee Bean
and there is no solution.
1420
01:23:02,400 --> 01:23:03,218
I love you, Jack!
1421
01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:06,200
Jack, I dreamt about you last night!
1422
01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:11,200
Jack, remember me? Amber?
1423
01:23:11,700 --> 01:23:13,200
Oh, my stars.
1424
01:23:13,200 --> 01:23:18,200
Darrin's coming home
and I haven't even made dinner.
1425
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:23,100
What?
1426
01:23:24,113 --> 01:23:25,944
You're great. You want anything?
1427
01:23:26,616 --> 01:23:27,709
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much, that was...
1428
01:23:28,100 --> 01:23:32,100
Thank you.
1429
01:23:55,700 --> 01:24:00,400
Boo! Trick or treat!
1430
01:24:00,400 --> 01:24:03,400
You guys look great.
1431
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:05,500
Happy Halloween.
1432
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:07,700
Mommy!
1433
01:24:07,700 --> 01:24:12,700
I'm sorry I don't have any candy.
1434
01:24:21,671 --> 01:24:24,231
Hi, everyone, and welcome
once again to Jeopardy!
1435
01:24:25,674 --> 01:24:27,165
Another exciting half-hour
of answers and questions...
1436
01:24:28,177 --> 01:24:32,578
... with these categories
in our first round of play.
1437
01:24:33,683 --> 01:24:36,208
First off, "Cheese. "
1438
01:24:37,686 --> 01:24:41,123
Next, "Things That End In '-Zing. "'
1439
01:24:43,900 --> 01:24:46,400
I have no idea where we are.
1440
01:24:47,695 --> 01:24:49,960
I mean, I literally could not find
Vietnam on a map.
1441
01:24:50,199 --> 01:24:51,791
And now we're about to die here?
1442
01:24:52,202 --> 01:24:54,261
I think it's next to Argentina.
1443
01:24:54,204 --> 01:24:58,832
Well, at least nobody shot at us yet.
1444
01:24:59,709 --> 01:25:01,370
Yikes! That's not good.
1445
01:25:02,711 --> 01:25:03,871
"Yikes."
1446
01:25:12,222 --> 01:25:14,690
I think the lions are here, Atticus.
1447
01:25:21,230 --> 01:25:24,098
And there's Willy,
doing his famous Willy Walk.
1448
01:25:41,250 --> 01:25:42,184
Sherpa!
1449
01:25:48,100 --> 01:25:53,100
We've got to go.
1450
01:25:53,200 --> 01:25:59,500
Don't look at me like that.
It's the only solution.
1451
01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:09,500
Isabel, would you please join me
in the dining alcove? Thank you.
1452
01:26:09,500 --> 01:26:11,000
Daddy?
1453
01:26:11,000 --> 01:26:13,500
Something very odd is happening.
1454
01:26:13,500 --> 01:26:17,400
It's not odd. It's what you predicted.
I'm leaving.
1455
01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:19,700
I can't stop thinking about Iris.
1456
01:26:19,700 --> 01:26:21,600
You were right. I don't belong here.
1457
01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:26,600
I find myself uninterested in any other
woman. Now, that's not natural.
1458
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:29,800
- Do you think there's a chance that...
- What?
1459
01:26:29,800 --> 01:26:31,400
That she might be a witch?
1460
01:26:31,400 --> 01:26:32,800
Don't be silly.
1461
01:26:32,800 --> 01:26:34,300
And she put a spell on me?
1462
01:26:34,300 --> 01:26:36,200
Please.
1463
01:26:36,200 --> 01:26:41,200
Why not? You're a witch. I'm a witch.
She could be a witch.
1464
01:26:41,200 --> 01:26:43,000
I guess she could.
1465
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:45,800
What else could it be?
1466
01:26:45,800 --> 01:26:50,800
Love.
1467
01:26:54,700 --> 01:26:58,500
Isn't there a spell that can
make you stop crying?
1468
01:26:58,500 --> 01:27:01,600
No, darling, there isn't.
1469
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:03,800
He's idiotic, and yet I find him
completely charming.
1470
01:27:03,334 --> 01:27:05,700
It's been like that
since the beginning.
1471
01:27:06,800 --> 01:27:11,400
Only now, I also hate him.
1472
01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:16,100
Love.
1473
01:27:16,100 --> 01:27:19,300
Daddy, what am I gonna do?
1474
01:27:19,300 --> 01:27:20,900
Go home.
1475
01:27:20,900 --> 01:27:22,300
Where's that?
1476
01:27:22,300 --> 01:27:25,000
Wherever you've been the happiest.
1477
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,900
Perhaps I'll go to Aruba.
1478
01:27:26,900 --> 01:27:34,400
- Aruba?
- But then again, perhaps I won't.
1479
01:27:38,951 --> 01:27:39,646
I don't know if I'm loving my haircut.
1480
01:27:40,700 --> 01:27:44,200
Well, Conan, I can't believe
you're bringing this up.
1481
01:27:44,200 --> 01:27:48,500
No. No. No, no, no. I'm not gonna
tell that story. There's no way.
1482
01:27:48,500 --> 01:27:51,900
Okay, okay, if you insist.
1483
01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:58,100
It was last June, and I actually cast
this witch as a witch...
1484
01:27:58,100 --> 01:27:59,700
...and now brooms make me cry.
1485
01:27:59,700 --> 01:28:03,700
I can't sleep, and I don't know
what's real or what's the TV show.
1486
01:28:03,700 --> 01:28:05,400
Hi-de-ho!
1487
01:28:06,395 --> 01:28:08,887
Look what the cat dragged in.
Somebody is retaining water.
1488
01:28:09,500 --> 01:28:12,400
Uncle Arthur. It's you.
1489
01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:14,600
Oh, no, you're gonna crack the mirror,
aren't you?
1490
01:28:14,600 --> 01:28:16,600
You watch too much television.
1491
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:18,300
- I know you'll do it. You always do.
- Don't be silly.
1492
01:28:19,908 --> 01:28:22,200
Come closer. Do I have something
in my teeth right there?
1493
01:28:22,200 --> 01:28:28,100
- Where?
- Look!
1494
01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:31,100
That was fun!
1495
01:28:31,100 --> 01:28:33,800
Where's Sammy?
Where's my Sammy?
1496
01:28:33,800 --> 01:28:36,500
She quit. Now, leave me alone.
1497
01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:38,100
But she was the one.
1498
01:28:38,100 --> 01:28:41,200
I know, I know.
I can't stop thinking about her.
1499
01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:44,200
- But she's a witch.
- Yes, and?
1500
01:28:44,200 --> 01:28:46,400
- Jack, you're on!
- Oh, no, I'm on.
1501
01:28:46,400 --> 01:28:48,400
Go get them, tiger!
1502
01:28:49,437 --> 01:28:51,200
...revival of the hit series Bewitched.
1503
01:28:51,439 --> 01:28:52,875
You know him from such films
as Last Year in Katmandu...
1504
01:28:52,942 --> 01:28:55,410
...An Onion For Willy and Atticus Rex.
1505
01:28:55,700 --> 01:29:00,700
Please welcome our good pal,
Jack Wyatt!
1506
01:29:12,700 --> 01:29:15,000
Oh, my God.
1507
01:29:15,000 --> 01:29:17,300
It was a dream.
1508
01:29:17,300 --> 01:29:19,300
Thank God.
1509
01:29:19,300 --> 01:29:22,400
No such luck, Jackie boy.
1510
01:29:22,400 --> 01:29:25,100
Stay back!
1511
01:29:25,100 --> 01:29:27,500
Okay, okay. You are not real.
You're from the TV show.
1512
01:29:27,977 --> 01:29:29,672
You have blond highlights...
1513
01:29:30,600 --> 01:29:32,300
...and had to wear a girdle
on your last movie.
1514
01:29:32,300 --> 01:29:34,000
Who's calling who not real?
1515
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:38,700
Okay, I do not believe this.
I am not...
1516
01:29:38,700 --> 01:29:39,800
You are...
1517
01:29:39,800 --> 01:29:41,600
- You are real.
- Temporarily.
1518
01:29:41,600 --> 01:29:45,100
Oh, Uncle Arthur.
You're my favorite character.
1519
01:29:45,100 --> 01:29:46,900
I know.
1520
01:29:46,900 --> 01:29:48,300
What the hell's going on?
1521
01:29:48,300 --> 01:29:51,500
You need help.
Your love life's a mess, buddy boy.
1522
01:29:51,500 --> 01:29:53,200
I know, I'm miserable.
1523
01:29:53,200 --> 01:29:58,300
So am I. I have been in reruns
for 32 years.
1524
01:29:58,300 --> 01:30:02,200
I need the sizzle of prime time!
I need to get this show back on the air.
1525
01:30:02,200 --> 01:30:05,000
Okay, this is very complicated
and unsettling, all right?
1526
01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:07,600
I don't think I understand.
1527
01:30:08,016 --> 01:30:09,347
Oh. All right.
1528
01:30:09,600 --> 01:30:12,400
Do you want the short version
or the long version?
1529
01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:15,900
Keep in mind that the long version
is in Aramaic.
1530
01:30:15,900 --> 01:30:17,100
The short version.
1531
01:30:17,100 --> 01:30:18,700
You got involved with a witch,
and when you do that...
1532
01:30:18,700 --> 01:30:23,400
...weird stuff happens.
1533
01:30:23,400 --> 01:30:26,400
- That's it?
- Do I have to explain everything?
1534
01:30:26,400 --> 01:30:30,300
Okay, here's the deal. I'm not real.
1535
01:30:30,300 --> 01:30:33,000
- Iris is a witch.
- Iris is a witch?
1536
01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:34,000
Don't dwell. And, in my opinion...
1537
01:30:34,000 --> 01:30:37,800
...that manager of yours, Richie...
- What?
1538
01:30:37,800 --> 01:30:39,900
...isn't even human.
1539
01:30:39,900 --> 01:30:43,300
- Now, where was I?
- When?
1540
01:30:43,300 --> 01:30:44,700
Before you woke up. Oh, right!
Who wants to be with a witch?
1541
01:30:44,700 --> 01:30:47,200
Crazy crap like this
would always be happening!
1542
01:30:47,200 --> 01:30:48,500
And your point is?
1543
01:30:48,500 --> 01:30:51,000
- The point is, you'd never know.
- What?
1544
01:30:51,000 --> 01:30:54,000
Whether you were in love with her,
or whether she put a spell on you.
1545
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:58,000
Like when you first spotted her in the
bookstore. Probably her idea, right?
1546
01:30:58,000 --> 01:31:00,000
No, that was my idea.
1547
01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:04,500
- Oh, that's terrible.
- I know, I just love to blend.
1548
01:31:04,500 --> 01:31:08,400
And when you got down on your knees
and you begged her to take the job.
1549
01:31:08,400 --> 01:31:09,000
What are you saying?
1550
01:31:09,000 --> 01:31:11,600
She probably planted the words
in your head.
1551
01:31:11,600 --> 01:31:12,500
No way, my words.
1552
01:31:12,500 --> 01:31:15,600
Yeah. What about the nose?
1553
01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:18,900
Hello? Is that even really her nose?
1554
01:31:18,900 --> 01:31:21,200
Of course it's her real nose.
1555
01:31:21,200 --> 01:31:28,300
Look. Is all's I'm saying is,
who wants to be with a witch?
1556
01:31:48,100 --> 01:31:50,800
I do.
1557
01:31:50,800 --> 01:31:52,100
She's going home.
1558
01:31:52,100 --> 01:31:55,500
And once a witch returns home,
she can't come back for 100 years.
1559
01:31:55,500 --> 01:31:57,700
She can't leave.
1560
01:31:57,700 --> 01:32:01,700
I need her. I want her. I want Isabel.
1561
01:32:01,700 --> 01:32:03,100
Well, come on, let's go get her.
1562
01:32:03,100 --> 01:32:06,100
Here we go! Let's go!
Let's go get her!
1563
01:32:06,100 --> 01:32:12,900
Follow me! Follow me, here we go!
Come on, here we go!
1564
01:32:17,800 --> 01:32:19,900
We'd better hurry.
She's leaving right this minute.
1565
01:32:19,900 --> 01:32:22,000
We've gotta stop her.
1566
01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:24,000
Hey, wait.
You can't drive, remember?
1567
01:32:24,000 --> 01:32:26,800
Remember that episode where
you pulled out and almost crashed?
1568
01:32:26,800 --> 01:32:29,100
Yes, well, that wasn't exactly me.
1569
01:32:29,100 --> 01:32:33,400
I, personally, am a great driver.
1570
01:32:33,400 --> 01:32:38,400
Whoopsie doodle!
1571
01:32:38,400 --> 01:32:40,000
Take it easy!
1572
01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:44,300
Can you slow down just a tad?
1573
01:32:44,300 --> 01:32:46,700
Is it "Porsche" or is it "Porscha"?
1574
01:32:46,700 --> 01:32:49,800
Who cares? Watch the road, please.
We've gotta get Isabel!
1575
01:32:49,800 --> 01:32:53,900
Oh, all right, party pooper.
Let me drive!
1576
01:32:53,900 --> 01:32:56,200
- There she is!
- Where?
1577
01:32:56,200 --> 01:32:57,600
Oh, no, she's flying away!
1578
01:32:57,600 --> 01:33:02,600
Pedal to the metal, buddy boy!
1579
01:33:03,691 --> 01:33:04,919
Watch it!
1580
01:33:05,700 --> 01:33:08,200
Oh, I'm about to be killed
by a fictional character.
1581
01:33:08,200 --> 01:33:13,200
Yes, you are.
1582
01:33:17,000 --> 01:33:20,300
- We're here.
- Here. Where?
1583
01:33:20,300 --> 01:33:22,900
Where is she?
1584
01:33:22,900 --> 01:33:27,900
Our place. She's at our place.
1585
01:33:27,900 --> 01:33:32,000
Thank you.
Thank you, Uncle Arthur.
1586
01:33:32,000 --> 01:33:37,000
Run to her, you idiot!
1587
01:34:00,600 --> 01:34:05,600
Isabel.
1588
01:34:06,400 --> 01:34:09,000
Oh, my God, you're here.
1589
01:34:09,000 --> 01:34:10,700
I'm so happy you're here.
1590
01:34:10,700 --> 01:34:13,600
- I'm leaving.
- No, no, no, you can't.
1591
01:34:13,600 --> 01:34:15,900
You'll be gone forever if you leave.
1592
01:34:15,900 --> 01:34:17,800
You'll be gone 100 years without
being able to come back even if you miss me.
1593
01:34:18,800 --> 01:34:21,200
That's ridiculous.
Who told you that?
1594
01:34:21,200 --> 01:34:26,200
He did.
1595
01:34:29,600 --> 01:34:33,000
Well, what are you doing here
if you're leaving?
1596
01:34:33,000 --> 01:34:35,800
I was going home.
1597
01:34:35,800 --> 01:34:38,800
But I don't know where that is.
1598
01:34:38,800 --> 01:34:41,600
Home is with me.
1599
01:34:41,600 --> 01:34:43,000
- Don't go. Please.
- But I'm...
1600
01:34:43,000 --> 01:34:46,400
- We'll work it out.
- We can't.
1601
01:34:46,400 --> 01:34:47,500
Yes, we can.
1602
01:34:47,500 --> 01:34:51,100
I can't be normal,
because I'm a witch.
1603
01:34:51,100 --> 01:34:56,100
I can't be a witch,
because I really wanna be normal.
1604
01:34:56,100 --> 01:34:59,200
- It's not possible.
- Of course it's possible.
1605
01:34:59,200 --> 01:35:02,500
There's tons of other witches
who've done it.
1606
01:35:02,500 --> 01:35:03,700
Who?
1607
01:35:03,700 --> 01:35:10,500
Well, maybe not tons of other witches,
but at least one.
1608
01:35:10,500 --> 01:35:13,600
Samantha.
1609
01:35:13,600 --> 01:35:18,800
Caught between two worlds,
and yet completely happy.
1610
01:35:18,800 --> 01:35:21,400
She lived happily ever after, in fact.
1611
01:35:21,400 --> 01:35:25,000
Although there's no way to be sure.
She went off the air.
1612
01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:26,900
We'll work it out.
1613
01:35:26,900 --> 01:35:31,900
Don't cry, little witch.
1614
01:35:32,200 --> 01:35:34,900
I love you, Samantha.
1615
01:35:34,900 --> 01:35:36,500
Isabel.
1616
01:35:36,500 --> 01:35:40,200
I knew that.
1617
01:35:40,200 --> 01:35:42,200
I love you, Darrin.
1618
01:35:55,200 --> 01:35:59,300
It just occurred to me,
you could have any guy...
1619
01:35:59,300 --> 01:36:01,600
...in the whole world.
1620
01:36:01,600 --> 01:36:03,900
Oh, but I chose you.
1621
01:36:03,900 --> 01:36:06,400
Honestly, I think you made
a mistake.
1622
01:36:06,400 --> 01:36:11,400
If I did, I can always get out of it.
1623
01:36:14,700 --> 01:36:17,400
Now we have things to do.
1624
01:36:17,400 --> 01:36:20,500
- We have a show to do.
- Yes.
1625
01:36:20,500 --> 01:36:27,200
And then, maybe after a while,
we could get married.
1626
01:36:43,412 --> 01:36:44,845
There it is.
1627
01:36:45,914 --> 01:36:47,245
Good brakes.
1628
01:36:47,700 --> 01:36:50,700
Abner, come look!
The new neighbors are moving in!
1629
01:36:50,700 --> 01:36:55,600
Not now, Gladys, I'm busy.
1630
01:36:55,424 --> 01:36:56,618
Yes.
1631
01:36:56,600 --> 01:37:00,600
I'm now going to carry you
across the threshold.
1632
01:37:03,700 --> 01:37:06,000
Don't you think the front lawn
looks a little bare?
1633
01:37:06,000 --> 01:37:07,400
No, I don't.
1634
01:37:07,400 --> 01:37:09,300
But I think it could use
a little something.
1635
01:37:09,300 --> 01:37:14,300
It's fine the way it is, honey.
1636
01:37:20,900 --> 01:37:25,900
Abner! A tree just appeared
in the front yard!