{1656}{1706}Ready?
{2069}{2110}FBl.
{2112}{2192}- Throw that piece of shit in there.|- No, wait.
{2244}{2301}Sit down and shut up, you old fool.
{2316}{2359}Ten thousand.
{2362}{2419}- On... bug-eye boy.|- What?!
{2421}{2484}Big balls, huh? Big cojones, huh?
{2518}{2582}- I'll take that bet.|- Ready? And fight!
{3118}{3171}Y'all never heard of Soul, Korea?
{3317}{3394}- FBl! Everybody freeze.|- Don't move.
{3648}{3745}- John!|- A little help down here, please?
{3747}{3795}No doubt. Are you all right?
{3797}{3879}I'm just takin' a bath|with Old Yeller down here.
{3881}{3987}Could you open the cage? I'm a married man.|I'm not used to this much attention.
{4010}{4081}Satellite TV and a six-pack|do not a full life make.
{4083}{4162}You gotta understand. I'm not like you.
{4164}{4216}On the street, I gotta keep it simple.
{4218}{4332}You know what I mean? I can't have|a family and home out there distracting me.
{4334}{4402}That's funny.|I couldn't be out there without it.
{4429}{4515}OK. We've got a live one, people.|Conference room in five.
{4517}{4620}Oh, Malcolm. Didn't recognise you|with the make-up off. Got the Michaels file?
{4622}{4672}- Got it.|- Good. Bring it here.
{4683}{4799}I'm just sayin', on the street I can't have|no distractions. I gotta be ready for anything.
{4864}{4945}- Nice.|- You too grown for this shit, man.
{5183}{5235}A prison escape leaves one man dead.
{5237}{5316}Lester Vesco,|serving a life sentence formurder,
{5318}{5377}has escapedfrom a federalpenitentiary.
{5379}{5483}He is seen here on security cameras|robbing the Century Union Bank.
{5485}{5553}- Vesco is extremely dangerous.|- Oh, my God.
{5605}{5653}What's wrong?
{5675}{5728}Nothing's wrong.
{5730}{5810}You know, how would you like|to go on a little vacation?
{5812}{5911}- I don't know. We've never been on one.|- How fast can you get ready?
{6306}{6354}Ready.
{6407}{6480}Well, you look ready to me.
{6482}{6524}Grab your medicine.
{6666}{6711}Got your seat belt on?
{6713}{6761}- Yup.|- Let's roll.
{7204}{7294}Lester Vesco. Not a nice man, people.
{7311}{7413}Two years ago, he robbed a bank,|popped a guard and the bank manager
{7415}{7506}and walked out with two million|in cash and bearer bonds.
{7508}{7583}We got him, but the money|was never recovered.
{7585}{7644}Twelve hours ago, he killed a prison doctor
{7646}{7738}and drove out the front gate|in the man's Volvo. Very creative.
{7740}{7860}- What about the girl from the robbery?|- Lester's girlfriend. Sherry Pierce.
{7864}{7927}Never convicted. Worked in the bank.
{7929}{7984}So she gives him access to the vault,
{7986}{8071}cries on the stand|and walks away with two million large.
{8073}{8125}Exactly. But we never proved it.
{8139}{8231}She's pretty smart.|Keeps a low profile, works two shitjobs.
{8234}{8287}Now it looks like she's in the wind.
{8289}{8354}So we find her,|we find Lester, we find the money.
{8356}{8457}- What about this stepbrother in Oakland?|- You and Gallagher take it.
{8459}{8572}- Get some warrants. Set up a surveillance.|- Great. Malcolm and I can stay here
{8575}{8618}and hit the phones.
{8620}{8703}No, no, I've got something special|planned for you two.
{8705}{8822}Sherry's got a long-lost grandmother|in Cartersville, Georgia.
{8824}{8949}And who knows, Malcolm? Maybe you'll find|an Armani outlet - by the Piggly Wiggly.
{8979}{9023}That's all, people.
{9965}{10039}- There's Big Momma.|- What a classic scene.
{10041}{10102}Genteel old lady, pruning her roses.
{10190}{10259}Lord, I done told Sadie about this dog.
{10261}{10340}Let me catch you here again|and I'll barbecue some hot dog!
{10406}{10456}- Got it.|- You know what, man?
{10458}{10552}Erskine and Stoner probably caught|that girl Sherry two days ago.
{10554}{10643}They just wanted us to sit here|pickin' ticks off our asses.
{10645}{10744}Nobody's tried to kill you for days.|The stress must be overwhelming.
{10746}{10836}I'm just here to catch a bad guy.|If it goes down hard, so be it.
{10838}{10941}If we could get in to plant the surveillance|equipment, we wouldn't be stuck here.
{10943}{10989}Hey, what do we have here?
{11060}{11161}Must be one ofthose Southern traditions.|Exchanging baked goods in the street.
{11163}{11284}Nah, you bring them over.|That's how you meet the new neighbours.
{11287}{11335}Oh, man.
{11337}{11470}- Where are you going?|- While she's out, I'll set the surveillance.
{11472}{11509}Stall 'em.
{11511}{11559}- Stall them?|- Trust me.
{11561}{11642}- Malcolm!|- Four and a half minutes.
{11706}{11791}- Well, how-dee, ladies.|- Hello, neighbour.
{11801}{11882}Welcome to Maple Drive.|We hope you will come to love...
{11884}{11971}Oh, shut up and give the man|your dry old Bundt cake so I can go home.
{11973}{12085}You'll have to excuse Hattie Mae.|Her stomach's not feelin' too good.
{12087}{12130}I'm Miss Patterson
{12132}{12184}and this is Miss Other Patterson.
{12186}{12286}We call her that because she's from|a whole different set of Pattersons.
{12468}{12524}- My name's John.|- John what?
{12574}{12654}- Patterson! lsn't that a weird coincidence?|- Yes, it is.
{12656}{12714}Maybe we're all related.
{12956}{13033}I used to be married, but not any more.
{13035}{13101}Oh, Lord. Is she with Jesus?
{13103}{13197}No. Actually, Jesus,|I think, is how he pronounces it.
{13199}{13236}He was the gardener.
{13238}{13336}I caught him spreadin' fertiliser|in the bedroom, ifyou know what I mean.
{13338}{13426}'Scuse me, honey.|Here's your corn bread. I got to go.
{13428}{13505}No, you can't! Ladies, it was really a pleasure.
{13519}{13569}Wait. You can't leave.
{13571}{13708}Where's this great Southern hospitality I've|heard about, Hattie Mae? lf I can call you that.
{13712}{13819}I was hoping we could sit in the front porch|and shuck corn, shoot squirrels...
{13821}{13927}Boy, you ain't right. Did somebody|hook you up to ajumper cable?
{13929}{13993}When I say I got to go, move - I got to go.
{13995}{14056}Wait!
{14087}{14221}I'm not crazy, just a little lonely.|We could spend some quality time together.
{14231}{14351}Say, you know what I do|when I have an upset stomach?
{14353}{14410}I jog. Yes! Come on!
{14412}{14506}It's good when you got the runs.|Come on, me and you around the block.
{14508}{14622}Listen, either I can go around you, or|I can go through you. Whichever you decide.
{14624}{14663}Fine.
{14694}{14740}Shit!
{14872}{14961}- You cannot go in there.|- You're sayin' I can't go in my own house?
{14963}{15073}No, I'm telling you, you cannot go in there|without giving me a big
{15075}{15132}Southern welcome.
{15190}{15243}That's it. A little sugar on it.
{15245}{15304}If you want a second helping, let me know.
{15306}{15378}- Cos I got two knees!|- No, I'm good. God bless ya.
{15380}{15451}- Cos I got to go.|- Yeah. Thanks for the corn bread.
{15453}{15573}Jesus, let me just make it to the bathroom|before I lose my bowels all over myself.
{15671}{15721}Jesus.
{15763}{15813}Will I make it?
{15852}{15901}Have mercy, Lord.
{15949}{16020}Those stewed prunes!
{16022}{16118}They just goin' right straight through me.
{17807}{17878}I done seen a lot of scary shit in my day,
{17880}{17943}but damn - that was a lotta ass.
{18002}{18056}I think I need a splint or somethin'.
{18061}{18139}Just... I'll be all right.
{19475}{19530}"Dr Green. Wilshire Paediatrics."
{19589}{19639}Here we go.
{19666}{19715}God.
{19717}{19787}Miss it. Miss it.
{19789}{19847}Think you can throw me off my shit?
{19849}{19900}I'm in the zone.
{19917}{19968}100 dollars. Come on.
{19970}{20032}- That shit don't count.|- What do you mean?
{20034}{20095}- You were in my grill.|- 100 bucks, man.
{20126}{20189}Who could be callin' her at this time of night?
{20191}{20255}Trussy! Howya do...
{20270}{20335}Oh, Lord. William's in the hospitalagain?
{20354}{20455}I'll be there. I'm prepared.|I can staya week or two weeks...
{20457}{20549}She's leavin', man. Now's our chance|to tap the phones. Come on.
{20606}{20702}- Driver, please get me to the bus station.|- Yes, ma'am.
{20704}{20793}I gotta go and help my friend out|for a couple ofweeks.
{21113}{21156}Over here.
{21277}{21311}Jesus!
{21338}{21384}Back up off me.
{21388}{21468}- Sorry.|- Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.
{21470}{21595}Go on, leave me a little message. As soon as|I getback, I'll give you a shout. Godbless.
{21617}{21679}Big Momma? It's Sherry.
{21700}{21749}Surprised, huh?
{21773}{21827}Listen, I was taking a little vacation
{21829}{21889}and I was headed in your direction,
{21891}{22010}and I thought maybe I'd stop in and check|on you since I haven't seen you in a while.
{22012}{22105}But itlooks like you're nothome,|so I'll see you on the next trip.
{22107}{22162}No!
{22164}{22228}- We lost her.|- No! Look...
{22230}{22308}And, Big Momma, I just want you to know...
{22323}{22413}I knowit's been a long time|since we've talked, but...
{22415}{22493}I really do love you|and miss you verymuch.
{22519}{22582}Praise the Lord.
{22584}{22655}It's my baby Sherry!
{22675}{22726}Big Momma, you're there!
{22728}{22769}Hi!
{22791}{22905}Yes, I'm here, honey child,|lamb chop, sugar foot.
{22907}{22956}Hang up.
{22958}{23071}I know things haven't been so great|between us these past couple ofyears,
{23073}{23150}and I just want you to know
{23152}{23289}that your place is the only place|that's ever really felt like home for me.
{23292}{23407}And I can't wait to see you|and llove you verymuch.
{23433}{23481}Well, I'm...
{23515}{23591}I'm glad it felt like a home to you, Sherry.
{23593}{23641}You hurry home, then. All right?
{23643}{23719}And I'm gonna make sure that I lock you up
{23721}{23782}so you don't get away from me ever again.
{23784}{23878}- Bye, Big Momma.|- OK, Sherry. Bye-bye.
{23998}{24064}- What the hell did you just do?|- Kept us in play.
{24066}{24160}If Big Momma's not here, she'll leave,|and then we have no case.
{24162}{24210}Don't worry.
{24222}{24270}Big Momma'll be here.
{25012}{25072}Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.
{25079}{25140}Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.
{25157}{25209}Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.
{26492}{26569}All right, Trent.|Mind your manners. No back talk.
{26571}{26622}And remember... Look at me.
{26624}{26699}And remember that our business|is our business.
{26701}{26776}They're here. Now here's the earpiece.
{26778}{26856}If anybody asks, tell them|it's your new hearing aid.
{26858}{26909}How do I look?
{26911}{26990}If I were an 85-year-old man|with cataracts and a bad hip,
{26992}{27041}- I'd take a run at you.|- Man, shut up.
{27057}{27110}Big Momma? We're here.
{27167}{27225}Lord!
{27227}{27284}- Look what the wind done blew my...|- Hi.
{27326}{27374}Damn, you fine...
{27376}{27431}Sherry, you changed.
{27433}{27511}Me? Look at you, Big Momma!|I hardly recognise you.
{27513}{27561}Child, that's only make-up.
{27563}{27704}Now come on over here|and give your Big Momma a great big hug.
{27767}{27817}It's so good to see you, Big Momma.
{27819}{27934}- I thought you'd forgotten all about me.|- Hush your mouth, child.
{27936}{28032}- Big Momma could never forget that ass.|- What?!
{28034}{28088}Ma. Asthma.
{28099}{28143}Remember you had asthma?
{28145}{28200}I remember it like it was yesterday.
{28202}{28286}You used to puff and wheeze|somethin' wicked.
{28334}{28411}I said "Sherry, are you all right?"|You said...
{28413}{28475}Oh, damn. Big Momma gettin' light-headed.
{28477}{28550}Wait a second.|Maybe we should take you upstairs.
{28564}{28650}Bless your little asthmatic heart.
{28693}{28783}- Who's he?|- Oh, Big Momma. That's Trent, my son.
{28785}{28843}You haven't seen him since he was a baby.
{28847}{28924}Oh, yeah. Trent!
{28926}{28977}Hi, Trent.
{28979}{29078}- Say hi.|- I should've known just by lookin' at him.
{29113}{29170}Look at that nappy little grapefruit head.
{29198}{29291}You know, it runs in the family.|Grapefruit heads.
{29294}{29344}Your granddaddy had a big-ass head.
{29366}{29421}The hotel out by the freeway had a pool.
{29423}{29495}- Sweetheart...|- He's a quick little one, isn't he?
{29498}{29568}- Yeah.|- They grow up so fast,
{29570}{29635}what with the colour television an' all.
{29661}{29749}But he'll come to find Big Momma|pretty quick herself.
{29809}{29873}- I'm starving.|- Are y'all hungry?
{29875}{29976}- Actually, we are pretty hungry.|- Come on in. I'm here to take care ofy'all.
{29978}{30033}Come on, Sherry. Come on in.
{30066}{30161}- Sherry, let me get this bag for you.|- Oh, no, Big Momma. I got it.
{30163}{30223}You can take mine.
{30225}{30273}You are somethin'. Isn't he?
{30276}{30352}You're gonna love Big Momma's cooking.
{30354}{30452}Think it's gonna be windy today.|There's a draught.
{30590}{30649}There we go.
{30657}{30722}See, Sherry, I like to make sure
{30724}{30799}that my food is properly lubricated.
{30801}{30866}It goes down easier that way.
{30906}{30994}Oh, my God. He's gonna kill her.|This guy can't even make toast.
{30996}{31049}Let's see what's in there to cook now.
{31132}{31178}We got some pork chops,
{31180}{31217}turkey necks...
{31219}{31270}Child, you like these?
{31278}{31315}One for me...
{31334}{31449}Well, I'm probably not gonna eat them,|but you can have mine. All right, Sherry?
{31451}{31502}Now, Sherry,
{31504}{31549}sit back, watch andlearn.
{31595}{31694}Malcolm, I don't know how to tell you this...|but your face is falling off!
{31871}{31944}Big Momma? Are you OK?
{31946}{32052}- Where's that pot?|- I'm gonna go and start setting the table.
{32054}{32122}Yeah, you do that, Sherry. Where's that pot?
{32173}{32223}Malcolm!
{32288}{32347}What are you doin' over there?
{32648}{32740}- What are you doin'?|- Take it easy!
{32803}{32878}Big Momma,|I think you just had a Peeping Tom.
{32912}{32989}That's all right, child.|I get them all the time.
{33002}{33128}You do your housework in the nude|and it tends to attract the wrong element.
{33166}{33250}Nothin' like a little excitement|to get the bloodgoin'.
{33398}{33455}While lfix dinner,
{33457}{33561}tell me what brings you|to Big Momma's house after all these years.
{33564}{33631}Well, we were just on a little vacation.
{33633}{33717}Middle ofthe night seems|a funny time to go on vacation.
{33719}{33774}I thought you might have been in trouble.
{33796}{33876}- How did you know we left at night?|- I didn't.
{33878}{33947}No, no.
{34039}{34096}- Big Momma, are you OK?|- Oh, yeah.
{34098}{34159}Ain't nothin' but some scaldin' pork grease.
{34171}{34250}- Here. Let's dry you off.|- So what about it, child?
{34252}{34332}You in trouble? ls there something|you wanna tell Big Momma?
{34441}{34511}Big Momma, is that duct tape on your face?
{34543}{34596}Oh, dear! The duct tape.
{34598}{34671}I guess you're wonderin'|why I got the duct tape.
{34673}{34734}- It's a beauty secret.|- Really?
{34736}{34835}Yes. You never used duct tape|to get rid ofthem unsightly hairs?
{34837}{34929}- No.|- It works particularly well on the bikini area.
{34931}{34987}- Really?|- No doubt, girl.
{34989}{35035}The pork chops are on fire.
{35249}{35298}Big Momma, here!
{35484}{35534}Who's ready to eat?
{35628}{35699}We could always run down|to Ring-A-Ding Burger.
{35701}{35746}Get him a Smiley Meal.
{35748}{35804}Oh, no, Big Momma. This...
{35814}{35863}This looks great.
{35865}{35975}Well, then, eat up. Take you a big old forkful.
{35997}{36055}Watch it. The plate's hotnow.
{36057}{36139}I hope I didn'tput too much seasoning salt.
{36220}{36304}- Would you like me to get that for you?|- No. I got it, Sherry.
{36306}{36387}Who could it be at this time of night?
{36400}{36465}Just a second!
{36478}{36533}I wonder who this could be,
{36535}{36593}surprisin' me this time of evening.
{36625}{36736}I say, I wonder who could be|at my door so late at night.
{36769}{36816}There's my sugar.
{36825}{36941}You'd better put that nasty-ass tongue|back in your mouth before I rip it out.
{36943}{37001}Yes, ma'am. My mouth is closed.
{37003}{37067}But these hands is open for business.
{37172}{37232}Big Momma, who was it?
{37234}{37299}Oh, that's just a Bible salesman.
{37301}{37422}- Sherry, let's go back and finish supper.|- You can run, but you can't hide.
{37424}{37485}Oh, I'm sorry. Ben Rawley's the name.
{37487}{37544}- Pleased to meet you.|- Sherry.
{37554}{37649}- Big Momma, you didn't say you had a man.|- Child, I ain't got no man.
{37651}{37729}Why, she got every man in town|sniffin' round like dogs.
{37768}{37853}- I do?|- Do I smell some greens?
{37855}{37934}- Yeah, come on in. There's plenty.|- Oh, no!
{37937}{38002}Now, Ben, you know you can't eat no greens.
{38004}{38086}Greens give you gas somethin' wicked.
{38088}{38224}Last time I had Ben over for greens,|I had to re-wallpaper.
{38226}{38340}- Ben, let me show you to your car.|- Wait a minute!
{38342}{38388}You look different.
{38390}{38457}- Different?|- You know, I said the same thing.
{38459}{38540}That face and those eyes. You've changed.
{38624}{38690}- Changed?|- Yes, ma'am.
{38692}{38746}You're gettin' younger every day.
{38805}{38880}Sherry, say good night to Mr Rawley.
{38917}{38997}Good night. Nice to meet you.
{39085}{39130}Take it easy, Hattie.
{39132}{39187}Who the hell do you think you are?
{39189}{39329}Comin' up here, tryin' to put your|nasty-ass lips on me. I am not street booty.
{39331}{39420}I will not be treated like street poontang!
{39422}{39470}Ben, ifyou wanna get with me...
{39520}{39593}I mean... you will never|get with me! Understand?
{39595}{39689}And even if I was interested,|which I definitely am not,
{39691}{39750}you be goin' about it the wrong way.
{39752}{39847}- How am I supposed to go about it?|- You don't come in a woman's house
{39849}{39907}and lead with your shaboink-boink!
{39923}{39972}Women don't respond to that.
{39974}{40039}I should've bought you somethin'.|Like a corsage.
{40078}{40128}This ain't no damn prom.
{40185}{40268}Ben, you gotta bring a woman|somethin' special.
{40270}{40340}Somethin' that means it's from your heart.
{40342}{40391}Come on. You's a OG, aren't you?
{40393}{40462}You's a fake one,|but you's probably a OG, huh?
{40486}{40535}All right, well, get it together.
{40553}{40663}- Thanks, Hattie, baby.|- Good. Get your ass outta here.
{40665}{40727}Oh, and that seersucker suit?
{41520}{41589}Sherry made a call today. Who was it?
{41591}{41685}A Dr Green in Los Angeles.|A refill on the kid's allergy prescription.
{41687}{41748}She's done nothing to try and contact Lester.
{41750}{41803}Well, she will. And when she does,
{41805}{41870}- we'll be there to catch her.|- That's right.
{41903}{41953}Superfly!
{41975}{42009}You know?
{42011}{42096}You wanna give me those,|or have you grown too attached to 'em?
{42348}{42422}"Prescription called in for Trent Pierce."
{42440}{42531}"Hafarth's Pharmacy, Cartersville, Georgia."
{42943}{42993}I know what you're up to.
{42995}{43076}You think you're nickel slick,|but I got your penny change.
{43078}{43174}What you talkin'?|I'm just takin' in a little air.
{43176}{43275}You can't fool an old fool.|Sadie's got it all figured out.
{43282}{43348}Look, you old bat, this is a federal...
{43350}{43474}The man ain't been here for two days|and you all over him.
{43476}{43595}Oh! You think me and the white...|No, I don't get down like that.
{43597}{43686}Are you drinkin' that corn liquor?|Are you sippin' on the yak?
{43688}{43759}Maybe I have. But somethin's goin' on.
{43761}{43837}I got my eye on you two.
{43848}{43922}What a day. What a damn day.
{44004}{44094}Big Momma, someone's here to see you.|They say it's an emergency.
{44096}{44152}Emergency? What kind of emergency?
{44195}{44225}Your...
{44268}{44316}Oh, that.
{44318}{44417}Child, when you get to be my age,|they're like yard dogs.
{44419}{44521}If you don't put 'em on a leash,|they'll just roam all over the neighbourhood.
{44523}{44602}- Big Momma, you gotta come out here quick.|- What you talkin'?
{44604}{44657}- Big Momma, it's time.|- Time for what?
{44659}{44713}Ritha's gonna have her baby.
{44715}{44779}Oh. That's great. Thank you for stoppin' by.
{44781}{44848}Be sure to send me an invitation|to the baby shower.
{44850}{44940}Her water broke comin' back from the movie.|The baby's due any minute.
{44942}{44999}- And you got to deliver it.|- Excuse me?
{45001}{45079}- You're the midwife, aren't you?|- Midwife?
{45168}{45212}Big Momma!
{45214}{45264}- What are you doing?|- Screamin'!
{45266}{45327}I find that it calms the spirit.
{45329}{45386}Matter offact, let's all scream.
{45486}{45530}Good. See? It works.
{45532}{45588}It's notlike... I don'tknow whatl'm doin'.
{45590}{45651}Take it easy. I've called the paramedics.
{45653}{45744}Just stall, and then get out ofthe way|when they get there. OK?
{45746}{45792}All right. Excuse me, darlin'.
{45794}{45891}Let's close these, OK? You don't want|your business wavin' all in the air.
{45893}{45935}Oh, no! Don't!
{45937}{46031}- I said close 'em!|- They don't close!
{46033}{46116}Well, then, maybe that's how|you got this way in the first place!
{46118}{46180}- Get this baby out of me!|- Where is she?
{46182}{46243}- Just breathe, sweetie.|- Thank God you're here.
{46245}{46319}Listen, child. You do|what the paramedic says. OK?
{46321}{46392}Big Momma gonna be in the kitchen...|bakin' up a storm.
{46394}{46441}- Bakin'?|- Paramedic?
{46443}{46529}Nolan is a security guard|at the lumberyard.
{46531}{46618}Head security guard. I got two men|and three dogs workin' up under me.
{46620}{46682}How you doin'? I'm Nolan, Ritha's brother.
{46684}{46753}- Paramedics? ls something wrong?|- No!
{46755}{46850}I knew it. I told you this senile old hag|was gettin' too old to be doin' this.
{46852}{46922}Who are you callin' senile?|You wanna step outside?
{46924}{46999}Look, I took CPR.|Can't be too much harder than that.
{47006}{47054}Damn! That's a baby.
{47056}{47148}Will you shut up, please?|Big Momma can handle this. Get outta here!
{47150}{47209}Big Momma's here, darlin'. Don't worry.
{47211}{47320}OK, now. Nolan, get your chunky ass in gear|and find me some hot water.
{47322}{47368}Lena, I need towels. Lots oftowels.
{47370}{47428}- Towels.|- Now somebody get me some lard.
{47430}{47471}Preferably Crisco.
{47473}{47544}We got a baby about to slide into the world.
{47563}{47618}- Hold my hand, Big Momma.|- Hold her hand.
{47620}{47710}Hold my hand! Hold my hand!
{47764}{47829}OK, you're doin' good.
{47831}{47882}I'm doin' good.
{47884}{47928}What they need Crisco for?
{47930}{47974}They use Crisco for everything here.
{47987}{48068}I can't breathe.
{48070}{48132}What the hell are you doing?
{48134}{48206}- I saw this in a movie once.|- Stop, Big Momma!
{48208}{48287}- Here are the tongs.|- Is that sterilised?
{48289}{48358}Oh, yeah. I used WD-40|and some Easy Off on it.
{48360}{48439}Big Momma, we're not frying a chicken!
{48441}{48489}Give me this plunger.
{48491}{48528}Here we go.
{48753}{48825}- Look at the head.|- I see something.
{48827}{48903}- The head?|- I don't know. I'm lookin', it's lookin' back!
{48905}{48939}For God's sake.
{48941}{49008}Big Momma, what you doin' now?
{49010}{49068}I don't think you need those, Big Momma.
{49085}{49147}Hold your breath.
{49261}{49306}It's a girl!
{49333}{49383}Oh, Lord!
{49417}{49466}Ritha, it look like Leroy.
{49481}{49542}Thank you, Big Momma.
{49622}{49663}Look at her.
{49665}{49737}She's somethin' else.
{49865}{49925}Gimme my baby.
{50043}{50096}That's a baby.
{50261}{50309}Good night, Big Momma.
{50332}{50380}Let me tell you...
{50481}{50548}Big Momma, you were amazing.
{50550}{50599}Oh, thank you, child.
{50601}{50667}- I wonder what they'll name him.|- I don't know.
{50669}{50782}If it was a boy, they could have named it,|like... Requan or Trevon.
{50784}{50832}- Trevon is cute.|- You think that?
{50834}{50885}But it's a girl. You gotta pick a girl name.
{50887}{50937}Shaniqua.
{50939}{50998}- You don't like that?|- Come on now, Big Momma.
{51000}{51050}It should be a biblical name, right?
{51052}{51119}- Something beautiful like that.|- That's right.
{51221}{51269}Big Momma, do you remember this?
{51336}{51387}Oh, my word!
{51389}{51423}Yes.
{51450}{51515}- Here.|- Sherry, no. No, I couldn't, Sherry.
{51517}{51641}Big Momma, I just wanna make sure that|if I ever have to go away for a long time
{51643}{51708}you have something to remember me by.
{51773}{51817}Well, all right.
{51825}{51956}And I know it's a little tarnished, but it's|gotten me through some pretty tough times.
{51983}{52065}Tough times? Sounds like a man's involved.
{52125}{52173}Somethin' like that.
{52175}{52301}Sherry, you know that old boyfriend|you had, who got in trouble?
{52336}{52395}Whatever happened to him?
{52397}{52473}Oh, Big Momma, that's such a long story.
{52529}{52585}I'd better go check on Trent.
{52587}{52660}- You need anything?|- I'm fine. Thank you, honey.
{52662}{52747}- Sit out here and catch my breath.|- OK. I understand.
{54096}{54141}Shit!
{55326}{55386}Who are you?
{55388}{55447}- Excuse me?|- Who are you?
{55449}{55511}Oh, me? I'm sorry.
{55513}{55623}Sometimes I just get so caught up|in my work that I forget things and...
{55625}{55684}I'm Malcolm. Hi. How are you?
{55736}{55814}Big Momma asked me to come by and fix...
{55816}{55889}- At 5.45 in the morning?|- No doubt.
{55891}{55945}I'm an electrician. You know?
{55982}{56025}Shit!
{56110}{56170}You're not really an electrician, are you?
{56244}{56288}No. No, I'm the...
{56290}{56342}You got me. I am busted.
{56361}{56455}I didn't go to electrical college,|if that's what you mean.
{56457}{56526}But I'm a handyman.|Yeah, handyman's my thing.
{56528}{56596}- What are you doing?|- How you doin', man?
{56598}{56646}Wait a minute.
{56683}{56716}Trent?
{56718}{56767}How did you know his name?
{56769}{56835}Big Momma been braggin'|all over town about you.
{56837}{56906}- She has not.|- Yes, she has.
{56908}{57011}"Trent's so smart.|Trent's so cute. Trent knows karate."
{57032}{57133}- I know a little bit.|- That's what I'm talkin' about.
{57136}{57184}Show me a little bit ofyour moves.
{57291}{57374}I'd love to show him.|Don't worry. I won't hurt him.
{57502}{57540}What the hell is he doing?
{57695}{57766}- Trent, baby, be careful.|- You're kinda quick.
{57768}{57847}Let me show you what I got.|Which way I'm comin'?
{57971}{58014}OK, itjust got serious.
{58024}{58070}Honey, careful.
{58173}{58259}- Trent, honey, you cannot be that rough.|- You're only a pre-teen.
{58261}{58348}Why don't you come inside now|and let this man finish his work?
{58372}{58419}- See you later, Trent.|- Bye.
{58421}{58496}I used to take a little karate myself.
{58498}{58559}OK, I'm gonna go inside now.
{58561}{58682}I'll come back and check on you in a while|just to make sure you haven't killed yourself.
{58684}{58756}I appreciate it.
{58878}{58924}You blew your cover.
{58926}{58983}John, ifyou was thinkin' straight,
{58985}{59070}you'd realise Malcolm's our best shot|for crackin' this case.
{59074}{59164}Sherry ain't never gonna|tell her grandmother about Lester.
{59185}{59225}Hurry up, man. She's leaving.
{59227}{59284}I'll search the house while you're gone.
{59377}{59422}Sherry?
{59424}{59469}Where are you offto?
{59471}{59532}I'm dropping Trent offto play basketball.
{59534}{59615}And then... I'm just gonna|go into town for a little bit.
{59617}{59718}OK. Well, good. I'll go with you.|I need to do some shopping anyway.
{59720}{59790}- No!|- Trent, move over.
{59792}{59861}This ass here could do some serious damage.
{59863}{59934}Sherry, I'm not on your gearshift, am l?
{59936}{60009}- No, Big Momma. You're all right.|- All right.
{60011}{60065}Get your seat belt on.
{60067}{60155}Here we go on our way to the store.
{60502}{60528}Shit.
{60743}{60838}- Hattie! I've been lookin' for you.|- Well, good. Keep lookin'.
{60840}{60923}Big Momma, stay and talk to your friend.|I'll talk to you later. OK?
{60925}{60974}- Wait!|- I'll be right back.
{60976}{61033}Hattie, I need to do this|before I lose my nerve.
{61035}{61100}You run along or that ain't all you gonna lose.
{61102}{61158}Listen. Hattie, listen to me.
{61224}{61306}It was my mother's.|It's been on my dresser for 30 years.
{61308}{61430}Just sittin' in my little apartment doin' nothin'|when it could have been out seein' the world.
{61432}{61480}I just want to give you somethin',
{61482}{61565}just to prove to you|I know how to give my heart to a woman.
{61567}{61654}- There you are!|- Girl, we've been lookin' all over for you.
{61656}{61716}Hattie!
{61718}{61770}Hold on a minute. You losin' weight?
{61794}{61868}Yeah. I been workin'|with that new ab roller.
{61870}{61914}With the handles up here.
{61916}{61979}Well, sugar, it workin'. You understand me?
{61981}{62043}- Come on now. We gonna be late.|- Late for what?
{62186}{62228}Maybe you're in a dark alley.
{62244}{62278}Maybe not.
{62280}{62359}Maybe you're walkin' home|from a church social.
{62361}{62475}Maybe you're standin' on your sun porch|smokin' a pack ofVirginia Slims.
{62477}{62532}But where's an' ever you be,
{62549}{62599}you got to be prepared for this.
{62731}{62786}That was a little fast. Let me do it again.
{62798}{62856}Come on, Gertrude. This is good for you.
{62971}{63055}Don't you think you're being|a little rough on the ladies?
{63096}{63143}You think a mugger'll be easy on you?
{63145}{63271}Somebody attack you on the street, you think|they gonna do it delicately? I don't think so.
{63273}{63305}Now, where were we?
{63307}{63380}I think you were gonna ask|for another volunteer.
{63382}{63463}And, personally,|I would consider it a privilege.
{63480}{63567}OK. Let's go with some real-life situations.
{63609}{63660}All right. Now, first off...
{63677}{63725}Go on. Stand right there.
{63735}{63785}Here?
{63821}{63865}Let's say
{63867}{63966}you walkin' down the street,|struttin' your stuff,
{63968}{64035}and somebody scream out|to you "Hey, baby!"
{64037}{64138}"Back that thing up and show me|what you got." What you gonna do?
{64140}{64198}Well, I'd say...
{64200}{64247}I got a size ten,
{64249}{64334}and I'm about to cram it up his bony ass.
{64336}{64392}What ifthat don't work?
{64394}{64472}What if he decide he still wanna|get a little piece ofthat?
{64521}{64571}All he got to do is this.
{64869}{64917}You done messed up now.
{65034}{65082}Get him, Hattie Mae!
{65139}{65248}Sorry about that. I didn't think it made|much sense to defend myself delicately.
{65613}{65726}Most attackers seek out people|who look like they can't defend themselves.
{65728}{65812}- Ain't that right, Nolan?|- Yes.
{65825}{65888}See, you only got a second
{65890}{65972}to turn fear and panic into power!
{65974}{66038}- Power!|- That's right. You can't be scared.
{66040}{66088}You got to fight back.
{66090}{66154}There you are! I've been|looking all over for you.
{66410}{66466}I know I got some explainin' to do.
{66553}{66603}- That's a good idea.|- Yeah.
{66605}{66669}I paid way too much for this new wig|to mess it up here.
{66671}{66769}- That's what I'm talkin' about.|- I feel free!
{66771}{66829}Hattie, are you done with him?
{66831}{66898}- Can I have a go?|- Most definitely.
{66907}{66954}Oh, my damn.
{66956}{66990}OK, ladies...
{67022}{67071}Big Momma, what is going on?
{68908}{69012}- They make these cars so low.|- Hi, Trent. Momma, you need some help?
{69014}{69091}No, I'm not that old, Sherry.|I don't need no help.
{69104}{69159}- How you doin'?|- Good.
{69161}{69209}How was basketball?
{69211}{69293}- It was all right.|- You OK? I'm gonna go start dinner.
{69295}{69379}And make sure you put|the fatback in the greens.
{69404}{69457}Hey. This yours.
{69539}{69606}You didn't know Big Momma|knew that move, did you?
{69619}{69698}That's called an assist.
{69700}{69825}Trent, me and you haven't had much time|to just sit down and talk.
{69850}{69934}Your momma didn't happen|to talk to you about
{69955}{70011}where you were going to next, did she?
{70013}{70118}She didn't happen to say anything|about meetin' up with an old friend?
{70120}{70162}I don't know.
{70207}{70296}Trent, you know I'm your Big Momma, right?
{70298}{70379}You could talk to me and confide in me.|You know that, right?
{70381}{70494}I said I don't know. And anyway,|Momma said we shouldn't tell our business.
{70496}{70565}That some stuffwe should|just keep to ourself.
{70583}{70631}Is that right?
{70814}{70899}Did somethin' happen|while you were down at basketball?
{70927}{70996}- The older guys were mean to me.|- Say what?
{70998}{71057}They kicked me offthe court.
{71059}{71154}No, see, I knew it.|Don't nobody mess with my babies.
{71156}{71271}Who do they think they are, kicking you|off the court? That is a public court.
{71273}{71350}Let me go get my nine, OK?|Oh, no. I'll keep that...
{71352}{71414}You know what, Trent? Let me calm down.
{71460}{71533}How about we take a little walk|down to the park?
{71894}{71949}Thank you! Get offthe court, suckers.
{72007}{72053}Is that all you got?
{72055}{72141}Well, get ready to sit down,|cos you ain't gonna last long once we start.
{72143}{72188}Ain't that right, Trent?
{72197}{72268}- So, Granny thinks she got game?|- Oh, yes. I got game.
{72276}{72322}Got two words, too: I'm back.
{72324}{72385}- You're too fat to be ballin'.|- Say what?
{72392}{72461}You look like a damn shaved bird.
{72463}{72510}Look at you. Just fly your...
{72512}{72593}Never mind, young man.|I'm not even gonna get into it with you.
{72595}{72675}- Man, here's your rock.|- Didn't know I could catch that, huh?
{72677}{72742}Back at ya! Didn't know|it was comin'. Let's do this.
{72754}{72826}Come on, little man.|We gonna take you to school.
{73262}{73309}We own that ball.
{73598}{73660}Pickin' on a little man. I'm at ya.
{73756}{73822}Look at ya now. Runnin' your mouth.
{73934}{73982}What you gonna do, Grandma?
{74290}{74338}What the hell...?
{74397}{74452}Game point.
{74533}{74596}- Damn!|- Air Momma!
{74738}{74788}- That's game.|- Yes!
{74790}{74848}We won!
{74904}{74955}Yes! We won!
{74957}{75004}We won! Oh yes, baby!
{75084}{75134}I'm so happy! We won!
{75357}{75409}It smells good, Big Momma.
{75411}{75462}- Morning, Sherry.|- Good morning.
{75464}{75516}Trent wanted waffles. Have a seat.
{75518}{75603}- No, I'm gonna have some toast.|- OK.
{75624}{75684}Malcolm's been askin' about you.
{75686}{75732}- Really?|- Yes.
{75734}{75830}He was wonderin' how long|you were gonna be in town.
{75866}{75958}He thought you might be meetin' up|with some old friends from California.
{75969}{76030}I wonder what would make him think that.
{76032}{76080}Maybe somethin' you said?
{76100}{76255}Sherry, ifyou gonna be in town for a while,|you oughta spend some time with that boy.
{76257}{76294}Get to know him.
{76296}{76384}You really think he's gonna solve|all my problems, don't you?
{76386}{76479}Oh, yeah. Child, if I was 40 years younger
{76505}{76620}and able to walk down the street|without trippin' over my own breasts,
{76622}{76704}yes, I'd take him on. I'd give him a taste.
{76721}{76769}Oh, shoot!
{76790}{76823}Damn.
{76825}{76901}- Got a little jam on ya?|- Yeah. I just washed this, too.
{76903}{76959}Big Momma, do you have any soda water?
{77020}{77084}Yeah. Top shelf, Sherry.
{77123}{77163}Oh, my damn!
{77200}{77276}- What's wrong, Big Momma?|- Stains.
{77278}{77405}I hate stains because they's hard to get out,|and that's ajammy-jam stain. I know.
{77708}{77772}- Hey, Malcolm.|- Hey, little man. What you up to?
{77774}{77864}We're goin' fishin'.|Mom's gonna let me drive the boat.
{77915}{78014}- How you doin', Sherry?|- Here to empty out the septic tank?
{78016}{78053}You gotjokes.
{78055}{78159}No. Actually, I was in the neighbourhood,|so I was just stopping by.
{78161}{78209}Malcolm, you ever gone fishing?
{78211}{78327}Oh, yeah. I fish in the neighbourhood|all the time. Yeah, I know a thing or two.
{78350}{78414}- Really?|- Yes, really.
{78422}{78471}I do all kind offishing.
{78473}{78577}I just haven't caught anything|worth holding onto.
{78579}{78630}Maybe you're using the wrong bait.
{78632}{78684}What kind of bait should I be using?
{78698}{78733}Mom?
{78735}{78781}Can Malcolm come with us?
{78783}{78872}Sweetie, I'm sure Malcolm has|more important things to do today.
{78874}{78929}- Actually, I don't.|- Come on, Malcolm.
{78931}{78998}Mom doesn't know what she's doin'.
{79000}{79084}I could show you where all the hot spots are.
{79137}{79183}Sure. I don't see why not.
{79185}{79277}- Come on, Malcolm. I've never been fishing.|- Never?
{79297}{79327}Nothin' to it.
{79620}{79726}- Mom, did you see that fish jump?|- I did. Looked like he was smiling at us.
{79728}{79797}- Like he was laughing.|- Laughing at Malcolm.
{79863}{79922}- That's funny?|- No, I mean...
{79963}{80007}Look at your pole!
{80061}{80104}Give me the camera.
{80141}{80204}Hold still. Gotcha!
{80241}{80307}Are you OK? Do you need a hand?
{80430}{80478}Oh, man!
{80578}{80621}- There you go.|- Thank you.
{80623}{80689}- Put that on you. A little nippy, huh?|- Yeah.
{80728}{80815}You know, there's...|something about your eyes.
{80817}{80877}I don't know. They're really familiar.
{80912}{80977}I know you think you can recognise my eyes.
{80979}{81089}But you know what? A lot of people|have these eyes. These ain't even mine.
{81091}{81200}I borrowed 'em from a friend,|and I gotta have 'em back by dusk.
{81213}{81255}Yeah, I'll be... Plop!
{81266}{81325}Hold your hoe. Gotta go.
{81327}{81406}Then you don't have much time.
{81521}{81568}He loves it out here.
{81570}{81642}It's a great place to grow up.|You should know that.
{81654}{81706}Yeah, but you forget and you move on
{81708}{81814}and your life takes you places|that you never thought you'd go.
{81852}{81920}Where has your life taken you?
{81922}{82008}Far away from here.|And I'm not sure if I'm goin' back.
{82010}{82040}Really?
{82042}{82111}Mom! I can't catch anything.
{82135}{82192}Keep trying, sweetie.
{82239}{82308}Sherry, your last boyfriend...
{82324}{82364}What was he like?
{82479}{82543}Most people aren't who they say they are.
{82609}{82681}Yeah, well, you gotta|trust somebody sometime.
{82706}{82764}Why not start with me?
{82784}{82843}- Mom!|- They're too fast for you, Trent.
{82845}{82934}- Why don't you just take a break, OK?|- You don't have to be fast.
{83006}{83046}What you got there?
{83057}{83152}Let me help you with that, little Trent.|Let me see that.
{83181}{83274}Sometimes, when you wanna|catch somethin',
{83316}{83364}you just gotta slow down.
{83411}{83459}Be patient.
{83572}{83633}Then they might come to you.
{83674}{83722}Thanks, Malcolm.
{83761}{83838}That's what I do... catch the lightnin' bug.
{84077}{84156}I see you're a man of great taste.|Need anything else?
{84158}{84257}Laptop? Cameras? AK-47? Stereos?
{84259}{84311}Rolex?
{84324}{84360}Guess not.
{84374}{84470}- I'll take it.|- Great. That'll be two hundred.
{84518}{84557}Your girl told me a hundred.
{84559}{84636}I don't care what she said.|That gun'll cost you two.
{84931}{85019}Two hundred, or this transaction|goes real bad, real quick.
{85217}{85282}It just went bad, didn't it?
{85289}{85337}Pull it.
{85529}{85583}A hundred's good.
{85585}{85633}I can do a hundred.
{86100}{86162}- Thank you.|- Good night.
{87007}{87091}Yes, sir. I understand, sir.
{87093}{87145}Oh, no. Sure, I can handle him.
{87147}{87230}Yeah. Don't you worry.|He knows exactly what he's doing.
{87232}{87258}Bye.
{87260}{87326}- What the hell are you doing?.|- Don't start.
{87328}{87456}No, Malcolm, I loved the little Jerry Maguire|moment with the kid. That was very touching.
{87458}{87551}It might make it a little awkward|when it's time to arrest her, but...
{87559}{87640}John, my attraction to her|is strictly professional.
{87642}{87712}- Great.|- And trust me: she's innocent.
{87714}{87813}And that's based on what?|Your "professional" attraction to her?
{87853}{87912}- Everybody freeze!|- Goddamn! Youfreeze!
{87919}{87992}Damn! Y'all cut Big Momma up|into little pieces.
{88091}{88166}- Oh, shit!|- Nobody's done nothin' to Big Momma.
{88173}{88223}FBl.
{88225}{88293}Looks like we'll have to arrest this guy now.
{88300}{88366}Shit, man, you ain't gotta do that.
{88368}{88469}I'm a fellow law-enforcement officer myself.|You know, maybe I can help.
{88471}{88519}Get up. Come on.
{88521}{88594}- OK, OK.|- All right.
{88596}{88647}Now, I've gone undercover as Big Momma.
{88649}{88693}As you can see.
{88695}{88744}That what that is?
{88746}{88776}Yeah.
{88778}{88875}Now listen, Nolan. This is top-secret.|We're after a hardened criminal.
{88877}{88928}What I need you to do is stake out the bank.
{88930}{88992}- Can you handle that?|- No problem.
{88994}{89075}All right. Now, what I'm saying is,|shut your mouth on this one.
{89077}{89151}I mean it - hush. Don't say nothin'. Nada.
{89178}{89232}You with me? All right.
{89234}{89345}If you can do that, we might|find a place for you on the force.
{89347}{89399}- You'd be in.|- In the Bureau?
{89401}{89441}Right in the Bureau.
{89443}{89544}Probably you'd get the F, but you won't|get the BI until some years have gone by.
{89546}{89615}- Right. Cos there's some work involved.|- Exactly.
{89617}{89681}Like the bank work. I'm all over it!
{89683}{89751}- Bye.|- Hot damn!
{90275}{90320}Trent?
{91256}{91302}Big Momma?
{91304}{91376}- You awake?|- Yes, Sherry.
{91378}{91426}Is everything all right?
{91428}{91504}Oh, yeah. I was just coming|to check you were OK with...
{91586}{91634}I'm sorry.
{91636}{91684}That scared me.
{91788}{91837}- Are you all right?|- Yeah, I'm OK.
{91839}{91887}That's good.
{92037}{92137}I remember when I was a little girl|and it used to storm like this
{92139}{92200}and you would wrap your arms around me.
{92239}{92286}- You mean like this?|- Yeah.
{92346}{92430}And I just felt like|nothing in the world could ever hurt me.
{92432}{92483}Doesn't this feel so good?
{92523}{92585}It feels so damn good.
{92728}{92801}- Big Momma?|- Yes?
{92803}{92855}- What's that?|- What's what?
{92874}{92922}That.
{92957}{92984}It's...
{92986}{93043}That's just my flashlight.
{93045}{93165}The storm knocked out all the power and...|I had to get a big old flashlight.
{93167}{93215}OK.
{93331}{93398}- You OK?|- Yes. Just tryin' to get comfortable.
{93400}{93447}All right.
{93449}{93547}- Let's try to get some sleep.|- That's easy for youto say.
{93712}{93819}You know, when I called you the other day,|I didn't think you'd even wanna talk to me.
{93821}{93877}Why would you say that, Sherry?
{93879}{93965}Well, it's been a long time|since we've talked,
{93967}{94030}and I'm not a little girl any more.
{94082}{94183}And I know that you've probably heard|some things that I'm not very proud of.
{94191}{94308}Well... Maybe I didn't wanna|believe those things.
{94310}{94400}Maybe I only wanted|to believe the best about you.
{94456}{94514}You sure have changed, Big Momma.
{94557}{94603}How so?
{94605}{94714}Shoot, when I was a little girl,|you'd whup my butt if I even lookedguilty.
{94716}{94798}Well, it got your hind parts|in shape, didn't it?
{94865}{94934}Well, you learned your lesson.
{94936}{94999}Yeah, I learned how to look innocent.
{95066}{95134}- Big Momma...|- Yes?
{95167}{95230}Is there another flashlight under there?
{95660}{95701}Hi.
{95703}{95751}What the hell are you doing here?
{95753}{95827}- Somebody may see you.|- No worries about that.
{95829}{95877}I got Nolan watching the perimeter.
{95879}{95977}He'd like his own gun, and he wants to know|if we can use secret code names.
{95979}{96055}- You better watch him.|- Oh? And who's gonna watch you?
{96057}{96149}- What are you talkin' about?|- You slept with her, man. She got to you.
{96151}{96267}- I didn't sleep with her. Big Momma did.|- OK. Thanks for the visual.
{96269}{96303}You know what I mean.
{96305}{96371}Are you puttin' on your make-up|in the dark now?
{96373}{96415}Big Momma?
{96441}{96537}- Come on, Big Momma. We're gonna be late.|- Late? Late for what?
{96539}{96607}Church. We're leaving in five minutes.
{96682}{96800}OK, maybe she got to me. But believe me,|this will not affect my work on this case.
{96874}{96929}That big bag she took downtown|the other day.
{96931}{96998}- Yeah?|- She didn't come back with that, did she?
{97054}{97109}Not affect your work. Fine.
{97199}{97319}You know, Malcolm, ifyou wanna|save this girl, then that's fine.
{97321}{97393}But you gotta get her to confess everything,
{97395}{97495}or else, when we catch Lester,|she's gonna go down with him.
{98385}{98470}"Every Time I Feel The Spirit."
{98472}{98517}Yes, good people,
{98519}{98594}we are not havin' service this morning.
{98629}{98683}This morning, we're havin' church!
{98733}{98837}You know, the Lord got me|to thinking the other day that
{98839}{98928}maybe it's time that I stopped preaching
{98960}{99028}and started listening!
{99056}{99128}And maybe one of our saints here
{99152}{99235}could offer us a word from above.
{99237}{99282}All right!
{99284}{99362}Earlier this week, I went to my phone
{99378}{99462}and the Lord took my dialling finger.
{99482}{99548}- And after about three rings...|- Three rings!
{99636}{99672}I heard
{99674}{99743}a sweet, angelic voice say...
{99816}{99902}Boy, you better get that thing outta my face.|Move, Rev! Go now.
{99912}{99976}That's right. It was Hattie Mae Pierce.
{100044}{100150}- Saints, we can learn a lot from this lady.|- Yes, we can.
{100152}{100272}For she has been to sorrow's kitchen
{100282}{100329}and licked the pot clean.
{100393}{100442}Are you ready to testify?
{100537}{100646}Oh, well, I guess I could say a few words.
{100648}{100692}Go, Big Momma!
{100738}{100803}You just put me on the spot today, Reverend.
{100805}{100892}I really wasn't expectin' this, Reverend.
{100894}{100941}Well, let's see.
{100943}{101013}- You know what to say.|- Come on with it.
{101024}{101088}Let's see.
{101090}{101160}Well, I asked him. I said "Lord,
{101175}{101271}should I talk about the evils
{101281}{101329}of drugs?"
{101336}{101396}No, no, no!
{101398}{101462}Big Momma don't know|nothin' about no drugs.
{101470}{101554}Unless y'all talkin' about Harry Belafonte.
{101556}{101644}Lord knows I was addicted|to that man for about ten years.
{101714}{101792}So, anyway, what I'm here to say is
{101794}{101866}that some of us
{101905}{101968}Iive secret lives.
{101988}{102080}We don't want people to know the real us.
{102104}{102178}We hide behind our smiles
{102180}{102230}and polite conversation.
{102238}{102326}And underneath it all,|we do a lotta nasty shit.
{102381}{102429}'Scuse me, Reverend.
{102457}{102510}So sorry about that.
{102512}{102596}Anyway, we've all sinned.
{102641}{102691}Lord knows I've sinned.
{102694}{102742}I've lusted in my heart.
{102744}{102807}In my living room.
{102809}{102893}In the hot tub at the Red Roof lnn.
{102895}{102950}Oh, and in the back of an EI Camino!
{102971}{103007}Watch out there, now.
{103009}{103138}But that's neither here nor there.|OK, please, disregard that last one.
{103160}{103234}Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that
{103257}{103305}our secrets...
{103334}{103388}they eat away at us.
{103429}{103529}So, ifwe want to be protected - hear me now -
{103606}{103659}we got to confess everything.
{103711}{103765}Because the truth
{103800}{103844}shall set you free.
{103993}{104051}And when that day happens,
{104078}{104164}- won't it be a happy day?|- That's your song.
{105968}{106012}Hallelujah!
{106303}{106384}- OK, we're home.|- My bladder got me just runnin'.
{106386}{106455}Maybe I should come in for a little nightcap.
{106457}{106505}Consider your night capped.
{106599}{106662}- You hear somethin'?|- What?
{106919}{106967}Freeze!
{106969}{107006}Surprise!
{107095}{107130}Surprise.
{107132}{107187}Surprise, Big Momma.
{107198}{107262}I don't think Big Momma|likes surprise parties.
{107304}{107337}Let's eat.
{107372}{107431}Big Momma, where did you get that from?
{107448}{107570}Come on, why don't you give it to me?|Give it up before you hurt somebody, OK?
{107572}{107654}- I'm about to go secure the perimeter.|- Nolan!
{107711}{107775}- John...|- This is all we need. Him screwing this up.
{107777}{107903}- Why'd you let all these people in here?|- It's a surprise party. I didn't know about it.
{107909}{107998}Keep your eyes open.|I'm goin' upstairs to change for the party.
{108000}{108040}Good idea.
{108486}{108542}Hi, Ben. How you doin'?
{108553}{108621}I guess you're wonderin'|what I got you for your birthday.
{108626}{108685}Don't tell me|your momma had more jewellery.
{108687}{108754}If you don't want it, you don't have to...
{108822}{108869}What is that boy up to now, Big Momma?
{108871}{108944}You stay down here|and watch the food. I'll go up.
{108946}{108993}All right.
{109240}{109303}Trent? What are you lookin' for?
{109305}{109343}Nothing.
{109379}{109473}Why don't you go downstairs|and help your momma with the food?
{109475}{109532}Yes, ma'am.
{109951}{109999}Damn.
{110709}{110764}Big Momma?
{110766}{110797}Yes?
{110799}{110896}Where'd you put the sweet corn?|ls it outside in the freezer?
{110898}{110985}Sherry, is there anything|you wanna say to Big Momma?
{110987}{111048}No, Big Momma. Why do you ask?
{111077}{111122}Oh, really?
{111124}{111235}Then I guess this chain isn't the only thing|that came back to me tarnished.
{111380}{111466}- I found the money, Sherry.|- What money?
{111599}{111670}Oh, my God. It's Lester.
{111711}{111768}Big Momma, I'm so sorry,
{111770}{111850}but I gotta go. I gotta get outta here.
{111860}{111902}Sherry!
{112086}{112167}Hey, officer. I'm lookin' for...|Miss Hattie Mae Pierce's house.
{112169}{112224}- You know where she live?|- Big Momma?
{112226}{112284}- Yeah.|- You less than two miles away.
{112286}{112340}She gonna die when she sees me.
{112359}{112438}Sherry... Now you gonna have to|tell me what's goin' on.
{112440}{112487}- Everything, Sherry.|- I can't.
{112489}{112598}I'm beggin' you to trust me. I mean...|you can trust your Big Momma, can't you?
{112600}{112696}- Now, who's this Lester?|- I thought I was in love with him.
{112698}{112773}He stole my keys. He got into the vault.|He shot two people.
{112775}{112866}He must have hid the money in Trent's|locker before they arrested him.
{112868}{112944}Are you saying you didn't know|anything about the money?
{112946}{113023}What about that big bag|you had the other day, Sherry?
{113025}{113088}What about the phone call|you made in town?
{113276}{113324}Happy birthday.
{113422}{113503}And the phone call was|to set up your surprise party.
{113526}{113639}You're tellin' the truth. You didn't have|anything to do with the robbery.
{113641}{113707}Of course I did.|I knew that the keys were missing,
{113709}{113808}and I didn't say anything to anybody|because I was afraid I'd lose myjob.
{113818}{113910}Is that it? That's the big mistake|you made, Sherry?
{113912}{113985}Big Momma, I should have said something.
{113987}{114057}I know what kind of man Lester is.
{114059}{114107}Oh, Sherry!
{114268}{114314}Big Momma, what are you doing?
{114316}{114370}Oh, excuse me, child.
{114372}{114462}Sometimes Big Mommajust feel like|kissin' folks, that's all.
{114464}{114512}Well, could you warn me next time?
{114514}{114561}Yeah, sure.
{114563}{114611}Sherry, listen to me.
{114613}{114659}You're not to blame.
{114669}{114753}Lester stole the keys. Lester stole the money.
{114761}{114809}And Lester shot those people.
{114913}{114996}Big Momma, I should have known|I could trust you. Thank you so much.
{114998}{115070}Everything's gonna be OK. All right?
{115107}{115214}I'm gonna call Malcolm.|He'll help us fix everything. No worries.
{115219}{115267}No worries. I'll fix it.
{115619}{115667}Yes, ma'am!
{115695}{115798}I've been waitin' on this moment|ever since I first laid eyes on you.
{115800}{115868}Can't get enough ofyour love, baby.
{115889}{115937}Hattie, I'm tired of bein' alone.
{115939}{116016}Ben, whatever you started in that bed,
{116018}{116071}trust me, you gonna finish alone.
{116080}{116136}Oh, Hattie baby...
{116138}{116229}Ben, I swear, if I see your shaboinker,|all hell's gonna break loose.
{116462}{116494}Holy shit.
{116504}{116606}Good Lord! What in the hell|is goin' on up in there?
{116669}{116717}- Hey, Big Momma.|- Hi, Trent.
{116945}{117019}What in the hell is goin' on over there?
{117087}{117147}Hey. You're back so soon!
{117149}{117188}What do you mean, "so soon"?
{117190}{117239}And what the hell's wrong with this door?
{117241}{117342}How about I hop in there|and we go for a spin?
{117350}{117403}Big Momma?
{117429}{117487}- There you are.|- Everyone's lookin' for you.
{117489}{117554}- What are you doing?|- I'm just freshenin' up.
{117556}{117633}- Come on! Time to cut your cake.|- Everybody's waitin' on you.
{117635}{117760}Driver, if I give you $20, would you|step outside and kick his ass for me?
{117762}{117833}- Yes, ma'am.|- No. Sir, you do not have to kick my ass.
{117835}{117879}Wait a minute. Just wait.
{117894}{117974}Look. OK, ifyou really must know,
{117976}{118069}it's a surprise party for you,|and ifyou go in there now you'll ruin it.
{118071}{118148}Well, ifthat's my party,|looks like I'm missin' it.
{118150}{118187}Christ.
{118665}{118789}It's so loud in here. Maybe you'd be|more comfortable over at my house.
{118830}{118931}- We've been lookin' all over for you.|- It's time to cut your birthday cake.
{118940}{118992}All ofthis for my birthday?
{119023}{119124}Everybody's all dressed up and looking good.
{119126}{119197}I wanna freshen up|and get out of my travelling clothes.
{119199}{119262}No, don't worry about that. You look fine.
{119264}{119360}Listen, I got some dress-up clothes, too.|I wanna put mine on.
{119374}{119445}Now where's that cake?
{119489}{119546}- Damn!|- That was fast!
{119608}{119657}What the hell are you doing, Nolan?
{119659}{119740}Y'all sure went through|a lotta trouble for Big Momma.
{119742}{119820}You know, that's rare these days.
{119822}{119910}So much else to do|that you forget about people.
{119912}{119969}- Big Momma is here.|- What you talking about?
{119971}{120040}- She's back. The real Big Momma is back.|- Damn!
{120070}{120124}- You want me to take her out?|- No.
{120126}{120225}Just keep her away from Malcolm until|we figure out a way to sneak her out of here.
{120227}{120277}OK. You got it.
{120325}{120403}You know, Big Momma|a whole lotta woman. I may need help.
{120559}{120628}You two? ln my bed?
{120640}{120686}Hell, no!
{120688}{120736}Hattie Mae, I can explain.
{120738}{120810}Explain it to the fat end of my baseball bat.
{120889}{120937}Trent? Sweetie?
{120982}{121078}"Scratch, scratch, scratch,|went the clawing at my door."
{121080}{121196}"'Who's there?' I said,|hoping it was only my imagination."
{121207}{121264}Mom, look. It's ghost stories.
{121459}{121558}Where's my Sherry?|Where's my baby Sherry?
{121649}{121747}- In my house, in my bed...|- Malcolm, I've been lookin' all over for you.
{121749}{121821}- You'll never believe who's here.|- Who's here?
{121831}{121941}Plenty offun people. Let's dance over|and meet some, shall we? Come on.
{122081}{122129}Sherry?
{122522}{122570}Big Momma, work it out!
{122572}{122620}He don't know what to do with it.
{122912}{122955}Shit.
{122999}{123061}Can I at least say goodbye|to my grandmother?
{123063}{123095}Yeah.
{123194}{123242}Big Momma?
{123293}{123332}Sherry, is that you?
{123334}{123389}What a beautiful surprise.
{123406}{123525}Yeah, Big Momma. I just wanted to come|and say goodbye, cos we have to leave now.
{123527}{123581}But I just got...
{123583}{123679}I don't want you to leave.|Please, don't leave.
{123681}{123808}No, Big Momma, we have to go now. And I|just wanted to say thank you for everything.
{123810}{123866}You said goodbye. Now let's go.
{123871}{123941}- Freeze, sucker!|- Nolan? What the hell are you doing?
{123943}{123983}Put that thing down.
{124058}{124115}You freeze... sucker.
{124147}{124191}- Don't shoot me.|- Lester, no.
{124215}{124238}Oh, shit.
{124348}{124379}Oh, Jesus!
{124381}{124443}I forgot my keys.
{124544}{124611}Big... Big Momma?
{124657}{124735}- Are y'all Doublemint twins?|- Freeze! FBl.
{124906}{124981}Not in Big Momma's house!
{125047}{125081}Oh, shit!
{125227}{125300}I can't feel my knees. Oh, Big Momma!
{125313}{125383}- Hit me, you fat piece ofjunk?|- Lester, no!
{125408}{125456}Don't you hit her.
{125578}{125636}Don't turn over on me! Oh, Lord!
{126277}{126306}Oh, man.
{126308}{126343}- Are you all right?|- Yeah.
{126345}{126421}- You were all over that shit.|- Yeah. I was somethin', huh?
{126432}{126470}Easy.
{126472}{126585}But I gotta tell you... This gettin' shot part,|it's not as much fun as you'd think.
{126596}{126644}Malcolm.
{126718}{126775}Trent.
{126830}{126881}Watch out!
{127097}{127185}Yes. Well, somebody|better tell me somethin',
{127187}{127269}cos this sho' is some freaky shit.
{127510}{127617}Yes, and I'll bust in your head again|if I catch you foolin' around with my kin.
{127619}{127667}Blood is thicker than water.
{127695}{127790}Is that morphine in there?|God, it beats the hell out of aspirin.
{127893}{127926}Sherry.
{128017}{128065}Go inside, sweetie. OK?
{128156}{128208}How's he doin'?
{128235}{128279}He's fine.
{128296}{128335}Good.
{128337}{128423}You thought I was guilty|the whole time, didn't you?
{128429}{128496}You went to all this trouble|to try to catch me in a lie
{128498}{128560}and you were the one being dishonest.
{128572}{128616}I was just doin' myjob.
{128618}{128708}So the lake and everything,|that was just you doin' yourjob, right?
{128710}{128746}No.
{128748}{128827}"You gotta trust somebody sometime.|Why not start with me?"
{128835}{128899}I find that hard to believe, Malcolm.
{129364}{129451}How do you feel, Malcolm?|Nervous aboutyour testimony?
{129453}{129509}Nervous? No.
{129511}{129558}No, I'm cool.
{129560}{129638}This won't be the first time I've testified.
{129640}{129682}This one ain't gettin' away.
{129684}{129750}Let's hope. This is yourbasic|hostilejury. Goodluck.
{129752}{129800}Yeah. All right.
{130095}{130155}Yes, brothers and sisters.
{130252}{130300}Reverend, I've come to testify.
{130326}{130423}- What's he doin' here?|- This is God's house,
{130425}{130485}where all of his children are welcome.
{130490}{130562}Yeah, maybe all exceptin' him.
{130643}{130696}- This better be good, son.|- Yeah.
{130698}{130774}Now wobble-wobble, and drop it like it's hot.
{130875}{130929}I've come here today to
{130931}{130988}ask for understanding.
{131025}{131145}I believe the Good Book says|"lf you don't know me, don'tjudge me."
{131147}{131215}- That was Tupac.|- Definitely Tupac.
{131217}{131263}Tupac. All right.
{131265}{131341}Well, Trent, what does it say?
{131343}{131436}Mom says Jesus said we should|love one another as we love ourselves.
{131438}{131525}No, Trent. That's an old lyric from AI Green.|I got it in the car.
{131527}{131574}Jesus did say that.
{131576}{131644}- Amen!|- Yes, he did.
{131646}{131741}Anyway... Trent, do you remember|that day at the lake
{131743}{131832}when I told you that|if you wanted something bad enough
{131834}{131901}you gotta be patient|and it might come to you?
{131930}{131992}Well, I think that only works with fireflies.
{132006}{132095}But if it's someone important,|you gotta put yourself into it.
{132107}{132155}You have to go get it.
{132177}{132229}Sherry, the make-up...
{132231}{132291}You know, the whole...
{132293}{132350}And the protrudeness...
{132374}{132417}Excuse me.
{132419}{132467}Look, that was fake.
{132518}{132576}But what I feel about you...
{132595}{132657}That's real.
{132659}{132751}You know, Reverend,|I think the Lord is trying to give us
{132753}{132831}some true words through this brother here.
{132833}{132917}Well, may the angels speed|your path on up here, Big Momma.
{133103}{133169}Sherry, why are you still sittin' there?
{133171}{133244}Girl, come on up here and get your man.
{135085}{135154}This morning we're having church!
{141947}{142022}Visiontext Subtitles: Doreen Trenerry
{142266}{142314}ENGLISH