1 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:29,955 [ Ροκ ] 2 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,361 Καλημέρα, Τομ. 3 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,973 [ Γυναίκα αφηγείται ] 12 είναι ο αριθμός μας. 4 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:20,979 It's the number of games my husband Tom coaches at Lincoln College every season. 5 00:01:21,047 --> 00:01:24,949 It's the number of times we zero out our bank account each year to make ends meet. 6 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:28,613 Και ο αριθμός των παιδιών που προσπαθούμε να ανιχνεύουμε. 7 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:36,787 - [ Στεναγμοί ] - Έι. Καλό τρέξιμο; 8 00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:39,661 Oου, ναι. [ Βογκητά ] 9 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,200 Χρειάζεσαι γιατρό; 10 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:45,567 Όχι,απλά ένα ζευγάρι γόνατα. You finish? 11 00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:49,335 Still proofing, but I'm sending it to Diane today. 12 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,741 Look at this. New, clean cover... 13 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:54,371 no peanut butter stains... yet. 14 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,712 - Hey, baby? - Baby? 15 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,810 You know, on the run, you know what I was thinking? 16 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:03,378 What? 17 00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:08,550 Well, we've been married, what, five years? 18 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,256 - Twenty-three. - [ Groans ] Twenty-three. Sorry. 19 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:14,562 And I think we could use a little change around here... 20 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,693 like-like this lumpy old mattress. 21 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:19,465 - Maybe we should just, you know, get rid of it. - [ Giggling ] 22 00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:22,872 Don't be ridiculous, honey. You know you can just pound the lumps out of a mattress. 23 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:26,400 What-What do you mean? You can just pound the lumps out of a mattress? 24 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,811 Yeah,just randomly start swatting away. 25 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,816 - And it goes flat? - Yes, yes. 26 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,614 Just start-- You just randomly start swatting-- 27 00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:40,025 [ Shouting, Laughing ] 28 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:42,061 Careful. 29 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:48,399 - I got a dog on me! - [ Woman Narrating ] Twelve's an insane number ofkids... 30 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,904 but having a small family was never an option for us. 31 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:56,601 See, Tom loved growing up with seven brothers and sisters. 32 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,837 And after my sister died, I spent most of my time... 33 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:02,177 wishing I had seven brothers and sisters. 34 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,411 Tom and I met at Illinois Polytechnic University. 35 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:09,114 He was a senior dreaming ofbecoming the head football coach there. 36 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,249 I was a freshman dreaming ofbecoming a sports reporter. 37 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:15,624 He wanted eight kids, I wanted eight kids. Bam. 38 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:19,062 An hour after I met him, I knew he was the one. 39 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,100 Wejust had family at the wedding. 40 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,692 Oh, and Shake Maguire, Tom's best man. 41 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,796 What a hot dog. 42 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,433 Ayear later, we had our first-- Nora. 43 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:32,637 I loved taking her to work with me. 44 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,681 After Charlie and Lorraine were born, we realized our dream ofliving in the city... 45 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:39,377 - and having eight kids and two careers wasn't gonna work. - [ Baby Crying ] 46 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:42,910 As much as we wanted our big careers, we wanted our big family more. 47 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:46,322 So Tom settled for a Division III coaching job at Lincoln... 48 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:49,953 I quit writing for the Tribune, and we moved to the country. 49 00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:51,963 Tom and I got busy when we moved to Midland. 50 00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:56,263 We had Henry, Sarah,Jake and Mark in consecutive years. 51 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,861 Then we went for magic number eight, and instead... 52 00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:02,601 we got the first set of fraternal twins--Jessica and Kim. 53 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:05,269 - Nine kids. - Come on, you guys. Come on. 54 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,279 Wave! Hi! 55 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,281 [ Cheering ] 56 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:12,807 With each child, Tom and I got further from our big career dreams. 57 00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:14,819 But we didn't think about that. 58 00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:19,119 - [ Whistle Blowing ] - [ Yelling ] Yeah! 59 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,387 Oh. Sorry, Coach. 60 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:30,425 We had our hands full with nine. We were happy, and we were done. 61 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,971 Then we went to a party celebrating Shake Maguire's appointment... 62 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,973 to athletic director at our alma mater. 63 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:38,670 And, well, too many beers and nine months later, we had Mike. 64 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,612 After that, Tom got a vasectomy. 65 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,979 But he didn't hear the doctor say that it would be a few weeks... 66 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,814 before the procedure became effective. 67 00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:51,448 In '98, Nigel and Kyle got us to that crazy number 1 2. 68 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:54,982 But by then, Tom and I were experts at managing chaos. 69 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,626 - [ Karate Yells ] - Let's move, gang. Come on, come on, come on! 70 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:04,864 - Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo! - Charlie missed his curfew again last night. Take care of that. 71 00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:07,405 Hey. 72 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:10,203 You can only put on so much lip gloss, princess! 73 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,938 - [ Sighs ] You blew my concentration! - [ Tom ] Temper, Sarah. 74 00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:15,572 Now I get to start all over again. 75 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,048 - Wrap it up, Lorraine! - [ Lorraine ] Okay, Daddy.! 76 00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,176 - [ Yelling, Grunting ] - Have you seen my frog, Dad? 77 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,244 Sorry, Charlie. Uh, Nigel. Kyle. 78 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,723 - It's Mark. - I knew that. 79 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:31,520 Hey, teenager. You got caught on Mom radar last night. 80 00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:33,531 You're not gonna get that scholarship if you're out late with Beth... 81 00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,533 the night before a big game. 82 00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:38,695 Well, I'm not so sure I even want to go to college. 83 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,900 Since when? 84 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:46,103 Since Beth's mom offered me a job at the auto shop. 85 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,113 Hmm. Sounds exciting. 86 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,014 Well, we'll talk about that after you get your full ride. 87 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,951 And, meanwhile, in by 1 0:00 on school nights. Clear? 88 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:57,581 - Got it. - Anything else you wanna talk about? 89 00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,455 Did I mention I don't like you very much? 90 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,893 - Yeah, you mentioned that. - Then I'm good. 91 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:08,059 - Okay, me too. - [ Chuckles ] 92 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,730 Dude, two words: need new skates. 93 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:15,001 Dude, three words: paper route. 94 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:19,306 ""Hi. Can't make dinner. Hank and I are moving into our new apartment. 95 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,313 Love, Nora.'' 96 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,350 - Have you seen Beans, Mom? - Mm-mm. 97 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,677 - [ Nigel ] Here you go, Gunner. - [ Kyle ] You hungry, boy? 98 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,019 ??[ Woman Singing ] 99 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,977 Here you go, Gunner. Are you hungry? 100 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,747 Look, I am totally aware that this family doesn't value... 101 00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:04,449 self-presentation in the same obsessive way that I do. 102 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,823 Fine. Whatever. But one of my life goals... 103 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,885 aside from being, like, a fashion guru... 104 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,987 is to indicate to the local community that... 105 00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:14,362 the Baker family actually owns a bar of soap. 106 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,767 So, as self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene... 107 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,738 I think I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror. 108 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,399 - Three. - Done. 109 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:25,171 Now help your sister butter the toast. 110 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:28,839 Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted. 111 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,975 So you're going today. Henry, you have band practice, all right? 112 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:35,350 I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again. 113 00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:37,981 Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request... 114 00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,048 that you do not correct her in front of the class. 115 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,390 Mike,you have show-and-tell today. And, please, honey... 116 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,589 remember that body parts do not count. 117 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,757 Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at 3:00. You're goin' to work with Dad. 118 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,233 [ Together] Yeah! 119 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,396 - [ Both Yelling ] - [ Yelling ] 120 00:07:56,742 --> 00:08:00,269 - And we're shooting our Christmas card today. - [ Sighs ] 121 00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:04,248 - What time's Nora coming over? - Uh, she may not make it. 122 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,548 She hardly ever comes home since she started dating that doorknob. 123 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:11,249 - He's not a doorknob. - The man irons his jeans, Mom. 124 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,417 - Yeah, that's weird. - [ Tom ] Never mind. 125 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,393 I'll shoot it without her. I'll Photoshop her in. 126 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,952 Honey, could you take 1 0 pounds off me with that Photoshop thing? 127 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:20,260 - Can I be Photoshopped in? - Wait. If Sarah's bein' Photoshopped in... 128 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,358 - then I'm definitely gonna get Photoshopped in. - Why don't we all be-- 129 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,927 Nobody gets Photoshopped in but Nora. Everybody be here by 4:00. 130 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,870 Why do we always do our Christmas cards in May anyway? 131 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:31,103 Because the earlier we get it done, the bigger discount we get at the printer. 132 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,112 - Now, let's eat.! - [ All Chattering ] 133 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,205 Here you go. Look alive. 134 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,650 [ Chattering Continues ] 135 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,559 [ Croaks ] 136 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,299 No, Mark! 137 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,100 [ Girls Screaming ] 138 00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,766 Get him! 139 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,833 [ All Shouting ] 140 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:10,648 - [ Tom ] Come on.! Get him, Charlie.! - He's headed for the waffles.! 141 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,184 - I got him, Charlie.! I got him.! - Come to Daddy.! Come on.! 142 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,751 Mike, stick! 143 00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:24,762 - Mark, net! - I got the door covered! 144 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,457 I got the net! [ Yells ] 145 00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:28,295 - Whoa! - Ooh! 146 00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:36,798 [ Croaking ] 147 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,052 [ Yelling ] 148 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:51,715 [ Cheering, Shouting ] 149 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,089 [ Gunner Barking ] 150 00:09:56,562 --> 00:10:00,191 [ Mike ] Uh-oh. Busted. 151 00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:07,299 Put Beans in his cage... 152 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,841 now. 153 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:15,009 [ All Gasping ] 154 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,316 Is everything broken? 155 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,858 Teacup with the flower on it broken? 156 00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,895 Nice move, FedEx. 157 00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:43,397 [ Kate ] Okay, here we go, everyone. School. Let's go. 158 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,573 Hey. 159 00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:57,150 Much cooler. 160 00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,157 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Henry, here you go. - Thanks, Mom. 161 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,591 For the record, I am so over Nora's hand-me-downs. 162 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:05,597 All right, well, you look gorgeous in anything, Lorraine. 163 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,133 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's goin' on? What's wrong with you, mister? 164 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,533 Everybody says the FedEx guy dropped me off... 165 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,731 'cause I don't fit in with this family. 166 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,434 You fit. You fit right here. 167 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,740 - Like that. - [ Kyle ] I called shotgun.! 168 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,575 - No, I did! - I did! 169 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:23,581 - I did! - [ Kate ] All right, that's it.! 170 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:26,049 Hey, you two, knock it off!. 171 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,313 Mom's losing it! I'm losing it! 172 00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:31,550 All right. All right. Come on. Break it up. Break it up. 173 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:35,787 Here we go. Are you okay? I'll give you candy. 174 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:40,127 - Nigel, Kyle, chill or be chilled. - Sure. Listen to him. 175 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,963 Mark? Oh. 176 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,771 [ Sighs ] 177 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,776 - So Nora's not coming? - [ Groans ] Well, not exactly. Here. 178 00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,678 That is so Nora. We tell 'em they can't sleep together... 179 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,943 when they visit, so she moves in with him. 180 00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,951 Honey, she's just trying to have her own life. 181 00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,953 - She's too young to have her own life. - She's 22. 182 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:05,457 The same age I was when I was pregnant with her. 183 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:07,458 Five minutes ago, she was sitting on my shoulders... 184 00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:09,790 pointing at cows in Munger's Field. 185 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,796 - And then you blinked. - Yeah. 186 00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,560 - Enough with the blinking. No more blinking. - All right. 187 00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,305 You were checking me out, weren't you? 188 00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:23,967 Yes, I was. You got a problem with that? 189 00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:27,171 Twelve kids later, and we still got the heat. 190 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,371 Whoo! 191 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,983 ??[ Rap ] 192 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:44,489 [ Whistle Blowing ] 193 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,422 [ Nigel, Kyle Together ] Come on.! Hit it.! 194 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,628 Faster, faster, faster.! 195 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,171 - Is that as fast as you can go? - Is that all you got? 196 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,298 Pump 'em high! Pump 'em high! Let's go! 197 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,399 - Pump it up! - That's good! That's good! 198 00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:03,605 That's what I'm talkin' about. Way to go, Marcus. 199 00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:07,140 - [ Kyle ] Way to go, boys.! - [ Nigel ] Nice passes. 200 00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:10,916 - Right here. - Nice job! 201 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,927 Man, you're gettin' old and ugly. 202 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,564 Shake. 203 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,294 Hey. 204 00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:24,302 Hey, what are you doin' here? 205 00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:28,500 What, are you still too busy bein' the pansy house-husband to read the newspapers? 206 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:33,268 That coach was 5-3. 207 00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:35,540 That's doesn't cut it. I'm trying to grow a program. 208 00:13:35,614 --> 00:13:40,017 Hey, guys. Remember Shake? We played college ball together. 209 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,280 Yeah, the hot dog. 210 00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:44,083 Mom said it first. 211 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,420 We're having adult time here, boys. 212 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,722 No idea what that means. 213 00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:51,228 Well, it's this crazy thing where grown-ups... 214 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:54,095 actually get to have a conversation without being interrupted by kids. 215 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,566 - Sounds wicked boring. - [ Shake ] It is. 216 00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,933 So why don't you run along? 217 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,700 Mom's right. He is a wiener. 218 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,436 Sorry about that. Kate likes you. It's just that,you know... 219 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,637 she had to have the biggest stud on the team. 220 00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:09,146 So she, uh, chose the third-string receiver... 221 00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:11,410 and got all this. 222 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:13,542 Yeah. 223 00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,917 So, are you gonna tell me why you're here? 224 00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:19,614 Lincoln's a winning machine. 225 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,160 You think you can make our old team a champion again? 226 00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,927 - You mean coach? - Coach. 227 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:34,502 - [ Door Closes ] - Tom, what is it? Just tell me. 228 00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:36,598 -Just-- - Okay. Wait. 229 00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:42,013 - [ Washer, Dryer Rumbling ] - Dad's covering with the machines. 230 00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,515 - To the chute! - Go, go, go! 231 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,913 My, this is big. 232 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,285 Shake Maguire wants me to coach the Stallions. 233 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:53,018 - Get out! - He offered me... 234 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:56,528 a fat five-year contract, housing allowance, moving expenses. 235 00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:59,155 Kate, we can finally get new furniture. We can get a new car. 236 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:02,962 And get this. University employees can send their kids to school for free. 237 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,095 Wow. 238 00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:11,575 Oh. I don't know, honey. A Division I coaching job... 239 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,771 that's a lot of pressure and a lot more hours. 240 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:17,304 Yeah, but with all the kids in school next year, we could handle more job pressure. 241 00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:21,114 Yeah, but, honey, Midland is our home. I mean, the kids' lives are here. 242 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,417 Midland has been great for raising our kids... 243 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:28,619 but I never expected 'em to sacrifice the way that I did. 244 00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,855 You loved your childhood. 245 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,864 Yeah. 246 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,833 Except for this part-- the raggedy, hand-me-down part. 247 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:38,165 The Stallions head coach. 248 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,967 It's your dream job, isn't it, honey? 249 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:44,968 I want this one, Kate. 250 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,012 Let's talk to the kids. 251 00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,411 How do you think they'll handle it? 252 00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:52,541 - [ All Grunting ] - We're gonna move! 253 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,178 [ Yelling ] 254 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,188 Okay, everybody, you know the drill. 255 00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,315 On ""three,'' you give me a big ""cheese.'' 256 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,192 [ Horse Whinnies ] 257 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,753 Jake, do you have to wear black? 258 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:08,823 Black works, Mom.Jesus, like, has his funeral on Christmas. 259 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,597 - He died on Easter, Barbie. - Whatever. 260 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,865 He was resurrected on Easter, moron. 261 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,930 - Be quiet. - Don't touch me.! 262 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:20,172 - [ All Arguing ] - Hey, hey, hey! What's all the fighting about? 263 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:23,043 Exactly when did you plan on telling us about moving? 264 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:26,414 - I'm not moving! - Yeah, because I'm not moving, all right? 265 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:30,444 - [ Voices Overlapping ] - [ Gunner Barking ] 266 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:33,389 - I'm not moving. - Charlie, Evanston is only four hours away. 267 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,791 - Beth can come and visit. - This isn't just about Beth, Mom. 268 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:40,195 - My whole life is here at Midland. - [ Telephone Ringing ] 269 00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:42,392 - Hello? - Hi, Mom. 270 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:46,302 - Hi, Nora. You're on speaker. - Hi, everybody. 271 00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:50,900 Hank says hi too. So, you guys are thinking about moving up here? 272 00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:53,536 Yeah. You got room in that new apartment for your big old family? 273 00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:57,548 Just big enough for two, Dad. How's your book going, Mom? 274 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,710 Actually, I just sent it to a friend who's in publishing, so we'll see. 275 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,619 - Could we stay on subject, please? - Beans's mother's buried here. 276 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,953 I'm not splitting them up. They're family. 277 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,892 We can build a fancy new memorial to Pork in our new yard. 278 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:12,260 - Yeah, like we could afford that. - Actually, we can. 279 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:16,165 I'll be making enough money to do that, get you out of hand-me-downs... 280 00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:19,671 getJake those new skates, and get that new car we've been saving for. 281 00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:23,265 - But I have friends here! - Honey, you'll keep in touch. And you can make new friends. 282 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,469 [ Voices Overlapping ] 283 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,641 Quiet! 284 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,980 Now, look, I know you're all scared. 285 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,579 Moving is a big deal. We're very comfortable here. I get that. 286 00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:39,988 And that's why I turned down a lot of other coaching offers through the years. 287 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:45,127 But this is a job I wanted since we left Chicago. 288 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:48,223 And, in fact, it's more than a job to me. 289 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,768 Um, this is my team... 290 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,930 and it's my colors and it's, um... 291 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,372 the Stallions. 292 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,536 And they're finally calling my number. 293 00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:03,672 And I want you to take this risk with me, because if you do... 294 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,910 I promise you, we will be... 295 00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:09,351 a happier and stronger family. 296 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,790 - You promise? - I promise. 297 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:17,522 - I would feel happier and stronger if we vote on it. - Yeah, definitely. 298 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,530 - [ Voices Overlapping ] - [ Charlie ] We should vote. 299 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,623 That's the only way to make it fair. It's the only way to do it. 300 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,964 All right, we can vote. 301 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:27,005 But in the end, your mother and I are gonna do what we think is best for the family. 302 00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:30,007 - What's the point of even voting? - I'm out. 303 00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:33,636 - Let's get out of here. It's not even worth it. - Come on, guys. 304 00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:41,183 [ Nora On Speakerphone ] Hello? Still here. 305 00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:45,246 All right, eight noes... 306 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:48,225 three yes's and three maybes. 307 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,557 Not exactly a mandate. 308 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,189 Give me a pen. I'm gonna change some of these. 309 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,697 Here we go. 310 00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:59,168 - What? - ""What''? 311 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:01,172 Let's review, shall we? 312 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,038 Here we go. 313 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:07,772 ""I'm so glad I found someone whose dreams are as big as mine. 314 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,041 I love you. Kate.'' 315 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:15,083 I always loved the way you go for things, Tom. 316 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,645 Pedal to the metal, full-on, all of it or none of it. 317 00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,714 So we're doing this. 318 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,818 We're gonna do this. 319 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,567 We're doing it. 320 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:35,073 Yeah. And by the time we move, the kids'll get used to the idea. 321 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:50,622 Say good-bye to your mother, Beans. 322 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,234 [ Tom ] Gunner, to the car.! 323 00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:05,236 - [ Growling ] - Come on! 324 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,397 I'm you. Gunner, to the car! 325 00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:10,566 - I'm Gunner. Gunner, to the car! - [ Whimpers ] 326 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:15,141 Hey, Charlie. Do me a favor and drive the Cutlass? 327 00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:19,012 Thanks for ruining my life. 328 00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:20,813 [ Nigel ] I don't wanna move.! 329 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,615 - You know what? Everybody's going with us. - [ Both Yelling ] 330 00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:25,486 We're taking all your toys. Okay. 331 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:29,653 Well, whoever said expressing emotion is a good thing, I'd like to see. 332 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,094 ??[ Rock ] 333 00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:10,332 [ Tom ] Hey, this is our street. 334 00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:12,893 ?? [ Rap On Car Stereo ] 335 00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,837 Are you sure we're gonna fit in here, Dad? 336 00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,969 You'll have friends here in no time, guys. 337 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,225 [ Tom ] Here we are. We are here. Everybody out. 338 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,284 I want everybody out. 339 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:40,723 - [ Barking ] - Hey, slow down there, Gunner! 340 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:45,031 - Wait up! - Hey, Kyle, check this place out! 341 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:47,936 - Cool! - [ Chattering Continues ] 342 00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:50,372 [ Tom ] There it is-- a 1 920s classic. 343 00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,376 [ Sarah ] What, did the Munsters give you a good price? 344 00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:55,572 All right, the twins share, but everybody else gets their own room. 345 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:59,515 - Now, go kill each other for the best one! - That's great. 346 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,456 Hey, Charlie. 347 00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:09,290 You're gonna need a car to visit Beth. The Olds is yours now. 348 00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:17,133 You trying to bribe me? 349 00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:19,193 Is it working? 350 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:22,463 Little bit. 351 00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:27,935 Come on. 352 00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,613 Welcome home, Kate. 353 00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,757 - It's gonna be great, Tom. - Mmm. 354 00:22:43,829 --> 00:22:45,763 Jessica, come here.! Check this out.! 355 00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:47,765 - [Jake ] This room is huge.! - Can I see this one? 356 00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:49,767 Whoa-ho! Back it up, FedEx. 357 00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:52,429 If anyone gets the room across from me, it's Charlie. 358 00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:55,098 - And are you Charlie? No. - [ Kim ] Dude, I call this room. 359 00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:57,698 - Nobody else gets it, okay? - [Jessica ] Look at the view from here.! 360 00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:00,506 - It's spectacular.! - [ Mike ] Can I share with you? 361 00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:36,078 Oh, God. They're fast-food people. 362 00:23:37,282 --> 00:23:39,045 - [ Doorbell Rings ] - [ Man ] Hello? 363 00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:40,778 People are here! 364 00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:44,083 - Hi. - Hi. I'm Tina Shenk. 365 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,147 This is my husband Bill and our son Dylan. 366 00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:48,385 - How do you do? - We, uh, live across the street. 367 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,554 - Thank you. This is lovely. I'm Kate. This is Tom. - Hi. 368 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:53,291 - We're the Bakers. - Oh! 369 00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:55,060 - Gunner! Gunner! - I am so sorry. 370 00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:57,829 - Sorry. - Are you hiding a cheeseburger anywhere on your person? 371 00:23:57,903 --> 00:24:01,566 - I-I don't eat meat. - [ Gunner Growling ] 372 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,871 -Jake? - Dude! Two words: manners. 373 00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:08,174 - What's up? Wanna help me unpack? - Sure. 374 00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:10,680 - Put your sweater on, sweetie. - He's inside, dear. 375 00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:12,740 Don't start, okay? 376 00:24:14,753 --> 00:24:16,812 [ Sighs ] 377 00:24:16,888 --> 00:24:19,015 So, uh, is Jake your only child? 378 00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:21,058 No. We have 1 2. 379 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,357 I couldn't keep her off me. 380 00:24:26,832 --> 00:24:29,232 - Heads up! - Oh! 381 00:24:30,902 --> 00:24:32,893 - Little less wrist, Mike. - Got it. 382 00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:36,168 - Game on.! - Uh, they're playing hockey in the house? 383 00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:39,210 Well, if the game gets bigger than three-on-three, then they have to take it outside. 384 00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:45,215 Uh, Dylan doesn't really care for rough play. 385 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:49,685 Uh, you're gonna wanna stop now, dude. 386 00:24:49,754 --> 00:24:52,689 - [ Yells ] - [ Tina Screaming ] Oh, my God! 387 00:24:52,757 --> 00:24:54,918 - Hang on, buddy! - A little help here! 388 00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:58,053 - I got him! I got him! - Save my baby! 389 00:24:58,129 --> 00:25:00,723 Don't worry, Dylan. I swing from the chandelier all the time. 390 00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:03,461 - Cool! - All right. 391 00:25:03,535 --> 00:25:06,800 Aah! I got him! I-- Oh! I don't got him! 392 00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:10,364 - Oh, my God! - [ Yelling ] 393 00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:14,802 So, Dylan, know any good restaurants? 394 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,974 [ Kate ] I've got you, Dylan.! Don't worry, honey.! 395 00:25:20,952 --> 00:25:25,082 - [Jake ] Whoa.! - You can let go, Dylan. I think she's got you. 396 00:25:25,156 --> 00:25:28,250 - Spin him this way so I can-- - [ Tina ] Oh, my God.! 397 00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:34,824 - Oh, sweetie, are you all right? - I'm fine, Mom. 398 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:38,893 - Oh, dear. - You know, for the entire minute and a half we lived here... 399 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:40,904 I really hated that chandelier. 400 00:25:40,972 --> 00:25:42,564 - [ Chuckles ] - Here we go. 401 00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:45,405 Okay. We, uh-- We better go. It's time for your chess lesson. 402 00:25:45,477 --> 00:25:47,411 I don't have a chess lesson, Mom. 403 00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,413 Well, then, you need to practice for your chess lesson. 404 00:25:49,481 --> 00:25:51,449 Come over anytime, dude. 405 00:25:51,516 --> 00:25:54,076 Uh, we'll, uh, we'll call, schedule a play date. 406 00:25:54,152 --> 00:25:56,313 No need. Just come by anytime. 407 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:58,982 Oh, no, we'll call. 408 00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:02,618 - You're all invited to my birthday. - Oh-ho. That'll be fun. 409 00:26:02,694 --> 00:26:04,924 Hey, Charlie, come on down and help me with this, okay? 410 00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:07,692 [ Kate ] Careful, honey. There's glass everywhere. 411 00:26:07,766 --> 00:26:10,200 [ Cell Phone Ringing ] 412 00:26:10,268 --> 00:26:13,066 - I got it, Mom. - Okay, well, I'll help you. 413 00:26:13,138 --> 00:26:15,766 - Hey, Shake, what's up? - You okay? 414 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,435 Really? 415 00:26:19,511 --> 00:26:21,877 Okay, well, I'll see you there. 416 00:26:21,947 --> 00:26:26,350 Hey! Hey, guess what? Fox Sports wants to interview me on TV! 417 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:29,819 - Okay, well, we got this. - Dad's gotta earn a living! 418 00:26:29,888 --> 00:26:32,356 Twelve kids. That's the throwback. 419 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,358 Irresponsible is what is is. 420 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:36,553 How come we didn't have more kids? 421 00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:38,562 Because we wanted one perfect child... 422 00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:40,655 and that's what we got. 423 00:26:57,949 --> 00:27:00,645 [ Croaking ] 424 00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:07,881 [ Yelling ] 425 00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:10,689 Cool. 426 00:27:10,762 --> 00:27:13,492 [ Tom ] Honey, I'm gonna be home late tonight. I got another press conference. 427 00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:15,829 Come on. Whatever happened to that stud... 428 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:18,130 who sat across from me at dinner every night? 429 00:27:18,203 --> 00:27:20,433 He got his dream job, remember? 430 00:27:24,075 --> 00:27:26,009 [ Door Closes ] 431 00:27:26,077 --> 00:27:28,944 [ Yelling ] 432 00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:33,411 - Good-bye, Dad. - See ya, buddy. 433 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:47,397 Tell the masseuse I'm running about 1 5 minutes late. 434 00:27:47,465 --> 00:27:51,367 - Day 1 4 on the alien planet. - [ Henry ] Where you goin'? 435 00:27:51,436 --> 00:27:55,930 To sign up for football. And, no, you can't come. 436 00:27:57,776 --> 00:28:00,176 [ Sarah ] Could this place be any more boring? 437 00:28:00,245 --> 00:28:03,976 - There's, like, nothing to do around here. - I could give you a makeover. 438 00:28:06,284 --> 00:28:08,479 All righty, then. 439 00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:11,716 [ Chattering ] 440 00:28:17,929 --> 00:28:21,296 Hi. I'm Charlie Baker. 441 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:23,300 Oh, yeah, Tom Baker's boy. 442 00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:27,099 Read where his old buddy Shake threw him a bone. 443 00:28:27,172 --> 00:28:29,106 [ Man ] Offense or defense? 444 00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:35,069 I'm a quarterback. 445 00:28:35,146 --> 00:28:37,410 Yeah, well, maybe in Cowpie, Illinois. 446 00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:40,940 This is 4-A, Skippy. The bigs. 447 00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:43,579 Put him on defense. Cornerback. 448 00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:49,827 By the way, when you show up for practice, don't be wearing that hat. 449 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:58,502 Okay, uh, let's see. Who's next? Yes? 450 00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:02,802 It's been reported that you like to blast music in your locker room. Why? 451 00:29:02,874 --> 00:29:05,240 Uh, well, it loosens up the players... 452 00:29:05,310 --> 00:29:07,073 and, uh, gets 'em psyched. 453 00:29:07,145 --> 00:29:10,046 Unless, of course, I start dancing. Then they just get nauseous. 454 00:29:10,115 --> 00:29:11,878 [ Reporters Chuckling ] 455 00:29:11,950 --> 00:29:13,884 At least we get to see him on TV. 456 00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:15,886 [ Reporter ] Coach, how do you manage a family of 1 2... 457 00:29:15,954 --> 00:29:18,047 and a football team? 458 00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:20,057 Well, I've got a great team here... 459 00:29:20,125 --> 00:29:22,787 and a solid support system at home. 460 00:29:22,861 --> 00:29:25,955 - Go to bed, kids. - Okay, you heard the coach. 461 00:29:26,030 --> 00:29:27,964 - Off to bed. Here we go. - [ Gunner Groaning ] 462 00:29:28,032 --> 00:29:31,126 In Midland, we were a family. Now we're a support system? 463 00:29:31,202 --> 00:29:34,069 - A family is a support system, Butch. - [ Groans ] 464 00:29:34,139 --> 00:29:36,869 [ Ringing ] 465 00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:41,310 Hello? Who's this? 466 00:29:41,379 --> 00:29:43,939 - Somebody from something something. - Okay. Shh. 467 00:29:44,015 --> 00:29:47,712 Hello? Yeah, hi, Diane. 468 00:29:56,461 --> 00:29:59,988 This is business. Salmons and pinks are so homemaker. 469 00:30:00,064 --> 00:30:02,259 All right, focus on your navies and your grays. 470 00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:06,167 Navy is muscle, gray is smarts. Choose either, and you'll rule the boardroom. 471 00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:09,502 - What's going on? - Guess what? 472 00:30:09,574 --> 00:30:13,010 Diane Phillips called. My book's getting published. 473 00:30:13,077 --> 00:30:15,011 Did I tell you we're gonna have it all? 474 00:30:15,079 --> 00:30:18,446 - You've never said that. - I'm tellin' you now, baby! Whoo! 475 00:30:18,516 --> 00:30:20,746 - Oh-oh. - Oh! 476 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:22,616 - Oh.! Whoa.! - Mmm.! 477 00:30:22,687 --> 00:30:24,416 Ooh! 478 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:28,687 Oh, my God! Can you guys just please wait till I leave the room? 479 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,694 Can you hurry? 480 00:30:30,762 --> 00:30:32,229 [ Shudders ] 481 00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:34,231 - All right, there's one thing. - What? 482 00:30:34,299 --> 00:30:36,961 They asked me to go to New York for a few days. 483 00:30:39,804 --> 00:30:42,272 - Oh. - ""Oh''? 484 00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:45,537 That was a good ""oh,'' as in ""okay.'' 485 00:30:45,610 --> 00:30:48,135 Yes, it's not the best timing in the world. 486 00:30:48,213 --> 00:30:50,875 - But you're going to New York. I can handle this. - You'll manage. 487 00:30:50,949 --> 00:30:52,439 Yeah. 488 00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:55,543 Well, you haven't been home much, Tom, since we moved here. 489 00:30:57,488 --> 00:31:00,719 And you're gonna have to, you know, shop for school supplies... 490 00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:02,987 get 'em dressed and-and bathed so they're clean... 491 00:31:03,061 --> 00:31:05,655 - and put 'em to bed at night, walk Gunner-- - Been there. Done all that. 492 00:31:07,398 --> 00:31:10,299 - You're considering this? - I'm not considering it. 493 00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:13,098 You're going. Nora can help me out around the house. 494 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,842 New York. Wow. 495 00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:20,400 Yeah. Wow. 496 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:37,319 It totally sucks. I miss you too... 497 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:39,329 but, I mean, I gotta get a job. 498 00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:41,331 Hi, Lorraine. 499 00:31:41,399 --> 00:31:43,560 Okay, I'll try and be there, honey. 500 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:48,038 Hi, Kimmy. Yeah, I-I know I haven't been very friendly recently. 501 00:31:48,106 --> 00:31:49,937 They are pulling me in again! 502 00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:52,977 -Just tell 'em you can't do it. - Can you guys hold on a second? 503 00:31:53,044 --> 00:31:56,172 That's easy for you to say. You're an only child. 504 00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:04,646 It might be fun to babysit together. 505 00:32:04,722 --> 00:32:06,883 No! Whoa, no! 506 00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:09,188 No. You know what happened last time we visited. 507 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:13,196 - They were welcoming you into the family. - They set me on fire! 508 00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:16,165 Just your pants. 509 00:32:16,234 --> 00:32:19,897 Honey, I am an actor, okay? And, sure, last time it was just my pants. 510 00:32:19,971 --> 00:32:22,565 But what if next time it's my face? 511 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,905 This is the moneymaker. I'm not that good of an actor. 512 00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:27,968 This is how I get the jobs. I know that. 513 00:32:28,046 --> 00:32:30,310 I'm man enough to admit it. 514 00:32:30,381 --> 00:32:32,508 Please? 515 00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:35,313 - Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that! - Please, please, please, please? 516 00:32:35,386 --> 00:32:38,253 You always do that to me. Fine, fine. You know what? We'll go. 517 00:32:38,323 --> 00:32:40,518 But I'll tell you what. One thing happens, and I'm gone. 518 00:32:40,591 --> 00:32:44,493 And no fires. And we sleep in the same room. 519 00:32:44,562 --> 00:32:46,496 Kimmy, put Dad on. 520 00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:50,665 She says she'll help us out if they can stay in the same room. 521 00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:53,397 No. No way. 522 00:32:53,471 --> 00:32:56,565 No, she knows the rules. She wants to have her own room when she's here. 523 00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:59,508 Isn't that sweet? No. 524 00:32:59,577 --> 00:33:04,207 Okay, look, why don't you just come over on Sunday, and we'll talk logistics. 525 00:33:04,282 --> 00:33:07,740 - All right. Bye. - Tell me Doorknob Man isn't babysitting too. 526 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:10,219 Yes, he very well might be, young lady. 527 00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:12,347 And do not set his pants on fire again. 528 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:13,890 - [ Kate ] Yes. - Classic. 529 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,261 It was just his pants. 530 00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:21,196 Is anybody besides me thinking our happier and stronger life... 531 00:33:21,265 --> 00:33:23,563 was actually code for ""nastier and suckier''? 532 00:33:23,634 --> 00:33:26,228 First, Dad forces us to move. 533 00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:29,535 Then Mom decides to become a career person and, like, travel the globe. 534 00:33:29,607 --> 00:33:32,132 Now we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor? 535 00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:35,702 - And he hates kids too. - Ow! 536 00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:39,443 Nora's blind to his evil. We have no choice but to intervene. 537 00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:43,146 We've got 48 hours. Let's work a plan. 538 00:33:44,155 --> 00:33:46,680 [ All Whispering ] 539 00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:52,087 All right, Appleschmear season is officially open.! 540 00:33:52,163 --> 00:33:54,631 [ All Cheering ] 541 00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,462 The president of the United States, Sarah Baker... 542 00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:58,468 will throw out the first apple. 543 00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:01,027 - [ Yells ] - [ Barking ] 544 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:05,471 Come on. Bring on the chin music, baby. Let's go. Let's go. 545 00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:09,172 Let's go. Oh,yes.! 546 00:34:10,248 --> 00:34:13,012 Ho, it's an apple! And now it's sauce. 547 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:18,750 And that's a beauty! Mmm! Mmm! 548 00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:24,361 - Whoa! - [ Cheering Continues ] 549 00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:29,366 Appleschmear. It's the game my Great-Grandma Gilbreth invented. 550 00:34:29,434 --> 00:34:31,629 - [ Bat Striking Apple ] - Neat. 551 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:35,069 Time out. Nora's here. 552 00:34:35,139 --> 00:34:37,937 [ All Cheering ] 553 00:34:38,009 --> 00:34:41,137 - Nora! Nora! - No! No, no, no, no! 554 00:34:41,212 --> 00:34:44,045 Kids, please do not touch the LeBaron.Just had it detailed. 555 00:34:44,115 --> 00:34:46,879 Hey, whoa, Tom. Tom, can we please, uh... 556 00:34:46,951 --> 00:34:49,715 ask the kids to respect the perimeter around the LeBaron? 557 00:34:49,787 --> 00:34:52,017 Hey, hey, respect the perimeter, kids. Come on. Respect-- 558 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,854 Back up. Back up. Nora. Nora, welcome. 559 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,895 - Come on. - It's a luxury automobile, kids. 560 00:34:57,962 --> 00:35:00,430 - Not your daddy's Oldsmobile. - This is for you. Congratulations. 561 00:35:00,498 --> 00:35:02,363 - Come on. - I wanna hear all about it. 562 00:35:02,433 --> 00:35:04,401 - It's very fancy. - Now, about the babysitting. 563 00:35:04,469 --> 00:35:06,369 Battle stations. 564 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,535 Heads up, Hank! 565 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,108 Yo, Hank.! 566 00:35:44,175 --> 00:35:46,735 [ Yells ] 567 00:35:48,846 --> 00:35:50,780 [ Kyle Giggles ] 568 00:35:50,848 --> 00:35:53,908 Phase one complete. 569 00:36:06,464 --> 00:36:09,695 Sorry about your clothes, Hank. We'll have 'em dry in no time. 570 00:36:09,767 --> 00:36:13,794 [ Mocking Jessica ] ""Sorry about your clothes, Hank. We'll have 'em dry in no time.'' 571 00:36:23,047 --> 00:36:26,448 What is with the staring? Just stop looking at me. 572 00:36:29,820 --> 00:36:32,220 Chopsticks. 573 00:36:44,969 --> 00:36:47,096 Open meat bucket. 574 00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:52,174 Oh! 575 00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:55,406 Begin underwear soaking. 576 00:37:01,552 --> 00:37:05,147 So, um, how's the acting career going, Hank? 577 00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:08,488 If it was goin' any better, there'd have to be two of me. 578 00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:11,255 Yeah, we saw you in the commercial with the gargling-- the mouthwash ad. 579 00:37:11,329 --> 00:37:13,388 You know, the remarkable thing about my career is... 580 00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:15,932 I only started acting, uh, a month ago... 581 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,934 and, uh, I'm already on TV. 582 00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:22,439 It's the real deal. The career is white hot, Tom. It's on fire. 583 00:37:22,506 --> 00:37:25,634 I read that most actors end up in the food service industry. 584 00:37:28,813 --> 00:37:31,373 That's not gonna happen to Hank, Kim. 585 00:37:31,449 --> 00:37:34,043 [ Hank ] Candidly, I, uh, think Nora's right. 586 00:37:34,118 --> 00:37:36,712 It's really-- It's gettin' so as I can hardly go out in public anymore. 587 00:37:36,787 --> 00:37:40,883 I mean, really, with--between the autograph hounds and the paparazzis-- 588 00:37:40,958 --> 00:37:43,449 Autographs and everything? I mean,just the one commercial... 589 00:37:43,527 --> 00:37:45,461 and you have paparazzi? 590 00:37:45,529 --> 00:37:48,191 Yeah. I've-I've actually-- I've never actually seen them... 591 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:52,032 but, you know, they hide in the bush and they get their shot. 592 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:57,507 The crazy thing is that now we're trying to sit at home like regularjoes-- 593 00:37:57,575 --> 00:38:00,305 Yeah, well, honey, it's-- And we're watching TV, right? 594 00:38:00,378 --> 00:38:03,176 And, boom, comes on a commercial, and, bam, there's me. 595 00:38:03,247 --> 00:38:05,181 It's, like, you expect to see yourself in the mirror... 596 00:38:05,249 --> 00:38:07,740 you know, and you expect to be lookin' at the handsome devil... 597 00:38:07,818 --> 00:38:10,150 but not on-- not on the TV like it is. 598 00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:12,314 It's, like, bam.! Bam.! You turn the channel. You're tryin'to... 599 00:38:12,390 --> 00:38:15,723 you know, get it out, and it's--itjust keeps poppin'up. 600 00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:18,557 It's like I can run from me, but I can't hide from me. 601 00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:21,788 What a nightmare! 602 00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:25,325 Yeah. 603 00:38:27,471 --> 00:38:29,837 Nora, honey, you wanna help me in the kitchen? 604 00:38:31,942 --> 00:38:34,240 Nora, stop! Yeah. Mm-hmm. 605 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:37,509 Wanna help me in the kitchen? Get a pie, look at a picture of Grandma, say the rosary? 606 00:38:37,581 --> 00:38:40,550 - Come on, kids. Here we go. Everybody out. - I'll be back. 607 00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:49,018 Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. 608 00:38:54,432 --> 00:38:58,095 - [ Whines ] - Gunner! 609 00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,864 [ Barking ] 610 00:38:59,937 --> 00:39:03,134 - Save it, boy. - [ Whining ] 611 00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:05,642 - Hey! - Hey. 612 00:39:05,710 --> 00:39:07,644 There you go. You look as good as new. 613 00:39:07,712 --> 00:39:11,375 - Yeah. Not as good as you, chief. - Yeah, anywhere. 614 00:39:11,449 --> 00:39:13,713 [ Whining ] 615 00:39:13,784 --> 00:39:16,548 - How sweet. - You know what you want? 616 00:39:16,620 --> 00:39:19,646 Kate, is this-- is this orange juice freshly squeezed? 617 00:39:19,724 --> 00:39:22,249 Nora and I are on a bit of an organic diet... 618 00:39:22,326 --> 00:39:24,226 and we're only goin' with the organic freshly squeezed... 619 00:39:24,295 --> 00:39:26,763 and it tastes a bit like Tropicana. 620 00:39:26,831 --> 00:39:29,322 [ Chuckles ] He's a winner. 621 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,164 - [ All Straining ] - Gunner, no! 622 00:39:32,236 --> 00:39:33,999 Release the hound. 623 00:39:34,071 --> 00:39:35,561 All right, charge! 624 00:39:35,639 --> 00:39:38,608 You guys poppin' out another one any time soon? 625 00:39:40,411 --> 00:39:42,811 Just... curiosity. 626 00:39:45,149 --> 00:39:47,743 [ Gunner Grunting ] 627 00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:52,981 [ Groans ] 628 00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,355 - [ Grunting, Groaning ] - Gunner! 629 00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,292 - Gunner! - Gunner! 630 00:39:58,362 --> 00:40:00,091 It's Gunner. 631 00:40:00,164 --> 00:40:03,190 Honey, he's-- he's really digging in. 632 00:40:03,267 --> 00:40:06,100 Sorry, babe. Gunner, stop! Sit-Sit down! 633 00:40:06,170 --> 00:40:07,660 - [ Hank ] He's attacking.! - Stop it, Gunner. 634 00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:09,501 - [ Growling ] - [ Yells ] 635 00:40:09,573 --> 00:40:12,167 - Oh, my. Well, he's hungry. - Stop it, Gunner.! 636 00:40:13,577 --> 00:40:15,841 [ Yelling ] 637 00:40:15,913 --> 00:40:18,677 - Gunner! - [ Screaming ] 638 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,980 Get him off!. Get him off!. 639 00:40:22,052 --> 00:40:24,350 [ All Laughing ] 640 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,014 [ Laughing Stops ] 641 00:40:33,197 --> 00:40:35,222 [ Barking ] 642 00:40:35,299 --> 00:40:37,290 [ Barking ] 643 00:40:39,036 --> 00:40:41,470 [ Yells ] 644 00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:51,376 Nora! Nora, we didn't want you to go. 645 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:53,383 Look, let's just get something clear. 646 00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:56,511 Even though you guys live near me now, I have my own life. 647 00:40:56,587 --> 00:40:59,613 It's mine. Not ours-- mine. 648 00:40:59,690 --> 00:41:03,023 Nora.! Would you please get in the LeBaron? 649 00:41:03,093 --> 00:41:07,120 - I beg of you.! - My loyalty is to Hank now... 650 00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:10,190 and that's the way it's gonna be. 651 00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:13,293 In the living room, now! 652 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,406 Let's go! 653 00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:20,035 [ Barking ] 654 00:41:20,110 --> 00:41:23,375 Your neighborhood canines have completely ruined the LeBaron's paint job. 655 00:41:23,447 --> 00:41:25,438 I'm sure my family will pay to repaint it. 656 00:41:25,516 --> 00:41:27,848 Good, 'cause I'm sure payin' for your family. 657 00:41:27,918 --> 00:41:30,785 - What's that supposed to mean? - I think you know what it means. 658 00:41:30,855 --> 00:41:36,293 You soaked his underwear in meat. 659 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,887 That is so wrong. 660 00:41:40,965 --> 00:41:44,765 Funny, but wrong. 661 00:41:46,036 --> 00:41:49,528 Now, who was the mastermind... 662 00:41:49,607 --> 00:41:52,474 in the meat-soaking plot against Hank? 663 00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:02,449 You were the masterminds? 664 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,753 Step back, please. 665 00:42:16,634 --> 00:42:19,569 [ Making Beeping Noises ] 666 00:42:23,741 --> 00:42:26,073 [ Beeping Intensifies ] 667 00:42:26,143 --> 00:42:28,077 [ Beeping Slows ] 668 00:42:28,145 --> 00:42:32,605 [ Beeping Intensifies ] 669 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:40,156 You have a dark gift, Sarah Baker. 670 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:42,351 But it's going to cost everyone a month's allowance. 671 00:42:42,426 --> 00:42:45,691 - [ All Protesting ] - Do you wanna make it two? 672 00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:50,428 Now, when your mother leaves tomorrow... 673 00:42:50,501 --> 00:42:52,628 I'm gonna need everyone to pull their own weight. 674 00:42:52,703 --> 00:42:55,069 Now, go upstairs and go to your rooms! 675 00:43:01,078 --> 00:43:03,376 Soaking his underwear in meat? 676 00:43:03,447 --> 00:43:05,540 I mean, how do they come up with that? 677 00:43:05,616 --> 00:43:09,609 If I could just harness that ingenuity and channel it into something constructive. 678 00:43:09,687 --> 00:43:12,315 Yeah, like getting somebody to help you out while I'm gone. 679 00:43:12,389 --> 00:43:15,552 I can handle it, even without the better half of the tag team. 680 00:43:15,626 --> 00:43:17,958 I know, honey. I'm just worried. I've never left the kids-- 681 00:43:18,028 --> 00:43:20,997 - Honey, it's three days! - I know. 682 00:43:21,065 --> 00:43:23,158 I'm just-- I'm gonna miss 'em. 683 00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:25,929 Okay, I froze some dinners. And make sure they get to school on time. 684 00:43:26,003 --> 00:43:28,437 It's their first day, so you know how nervous they're gonna be, all right? 685 00:43:28,505 --> 00:43:31,167 And, kids, don't worry. Mom can be back from New York in two hours if something happens. 686 00:43:31,241 --> 00:43:33,573 Really, it's only one hour with the time difference. 687 00:43:33,644 --> 00:43:36,670 All right, I hugged everybody. I love you all. One more hug, and you guys pass it on. 688 00:43:36,747 --> 00:43:38,874 All right? All right, thank you, sweetheart. 689 00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,883 - I love you. - I love you too. 690 00:43:40,951 --> 00:43:44,114 - Okay. All right. Do I have everything? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 691 00:43:44,188 --> 00:43:46,213 All right. 692 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:48,349 - Bye, Mom. - Bye. 693 00:43:48,425 --> 00:43:50,689 - I love you. - Yeah, yeah. 694 00:43:50,761 --> 00:43:53,491 Have a safe flight. 695 00:43:53,564 --> 00:43:56,863 Got the whole neighborhood out to say good-bye, huh? 696 00:43:58,102 --> 00:44:00,662 [ Kim ] Bye, Mom! 697 00:44:04,208 --> 00:44:06,676 Little vampires, my plan worked. 698 00:44:06,744 --> 00:44:09,941 She's gone. Now I can raise you children the way I want to! 699 00:44:10,014 --> 00:44:13,415 [ Sinister Laughter] 700 00:44:14,918 --> 00:44:16,886 Come on. It's gonna be fun. I mean, your dream has come true. 701 00:44:16,954 --> 00:44:18,888 Mom's gone. Weak old Dad is here. 702 00:44:18,956 --> 00:44:21,550 You can get away with murder. You can do anything you want. 703 00:44:22,593 --> 00:44:24,527 Dylan's birthday party is coming up. 704 00:44:24,595 --> 00:44:29,897 You can get all hopped up on ice cream and sugar and cake and go crazy. 705 00:44:34,705 --> 00:44:37,435 [ Tom ] You kids are gonna do great today, I promise. 706 00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:59,561 What is that? 707 00:45:02,499 --> 00:45:04,660 Moo! 708 00:45:04,735 --> 00:45:06,965 [ Laughter ] 709 00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:09,972 I guess he's the funniest guy in the herd. 710 00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:12,975 [ Alarm Blaring ] 711 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:15,477 [ All Laughing ] 712 00:45:24,822 --> 00:45:27,916 Walk much? 713 00:45:27,991 --> 00:45:30,926 [ Laughing ] 714 00:45:48,812 --> 00:45:50,439 - Hi! - Hey! 715 00:45:50,514 --> 00:45:54,450 - Look at you, Diane. - Look at you. You did not have 1 2 kids. 716 00:45:54,518 --> 00:45:56,713 - Yes, I did. - Girl, I can't even manage a boyfriend. 717 00:45:56,787 --> 00:45:59,517 - Well, who can? Look at this room! - Oh, it's great. 718 00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:03,424 - Isn't it great? - Listen, we've got big plans for the book. 719 00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,485 - Really? I'm so-- - Ta-da! 720 00:46:05,562 --> 00:46:07,462 Oh, come on! Look at it! 721 00:46:07,531 --> 00:46:10,989 - Isn't it great? - It's fantastic. I love it. Look at this. 722 00:46:11,068 --> 00:46:13,559 The company wants it in stores by Christmas. 723 00:46:13,637 --> 00:46:15,571 - Christmas? - Yes. So, tomorrow... 724 00:46:15,639 --> 00:46:18,073 the marketing people will bring you up to speed on the book tour. 725 00:46:19,276 --> 00:46:22,109 - A-A book tour? - Yes. We've got talk shows... 726 00:46:22,179 --> 00:46:24,204 book signings, personal appearances. 727 00:46:24,281 --> 00:46:26,249 And it's only gonna take a couple of weeks. 728 00:46:26,316 --> 00:46:30,514 Couple of weeks? Oh, no. I can't be away from the kids that long. 729 00:46:31,822 --> 00:46:35,588 Well, if there's no book tour, then there's no book. 730 00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:39,328 - Two weeks? - Kate... 731 00:46:39,396 --> 00:46:42,297 you've been the primary caregiver for, what, 22 years? 732 00:46:42,366 --> 00:46:44,664 Can't Tom handle the kids for a while? 733 00:46:44,735 --> 00:46:47,465 - ??[ Rock ] - [ Gunner Barking ] 734 00:46:57,815 --> 00:47:00,010 They're all going to end up on milk cartons. 735 00:47:12,529 --> 00:47:15,054 Gil-- Gil, Decker and Rico are playing too loose at the corners. 736 00:47:15,132 --> 00:47:17,066 - We need to pull them in. - [ Beeping ] 737 00:47:17,134 --> 00:47:20,626 Sarah, dishwasher! I'll-I'll come by tomorrow after I drop the kids off at school... 738 00:47:20,704 --> 00:47:22,865 and we can talk out some offense variations. 739 00:47:22,940 --> 00:47:24,669 All right. No, I gotta go. I gotta go. 740 00:47:24,741 --> 00:47:29,576 Dad, Nigel hit Kim with a dart, and I assume he will be punished. 741 00:47:29,646 --> 00:47:31,614 Uh,Jake, get me a Band-Aid, okay? Here, here. 742 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:33,616 Go stir. You like to stir. Here, let's take a look at it. 743 00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:35,618 Let's take a look, see if it's okay. [ Gasps ] 744 00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:38,883 - Oh, no, I'm just kidding. It's actually not-- - Uh, Dad? 745 00:47:38,956 --> 00:47:41,151 - Yeah? - This goo's on fire. 746 00:47:41,225 --> 00:47:45,719 Oh, no, no. That's the way Daddy likes it! Likes it hot and nice and spicy! 747 00:47:45,796 --> 00:47:49,994 Yeah. Here we go. There we go. Got it. All right. 748 00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:52,729 - Hey, Dad. - Oh, good. Can you get a Band-Aid? 749 00:47:52,803 --> 00:47:56,102 - No need to say hello. - Not one other kid in this neighborhood does chores. 750 00:47:56,173 --> 00:47:58,505 Well, we're not like any other family in the neighborhood. 751 00:47:58,575 --> 00:48:01,476 Right. So, why do we live here? 752 00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:03,308 Dishwasher, now! 753 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:07,077 Jessica, can you get these plates and put 'em on the table, please? 754 00:48:07,150 --> 00:48:11,086 Oh, God. What the-- Mike's athletic cup? 755 00:48:11,154 --> 00:48:13,088 Ow! 756 00:48:13,156 --> 00:48:17,149 Oh! Pasta de la Crotch. 757 00:48:22,499 --> 00:48:25,491 - Is that blood? - No, it's just a-- 758 00:48:25,569 --> 00:48:28,094 [ Vomits ] 759 00:48:28,171 --> 00:48:33,609 Oh! Clean-up on aisle 1 2! Anybody? 760 00:48:33,677 --> 00:48:36,805 You need help cleaning up, Dad? [ Yells ] 761 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,179 - I'm in puke! - Are you all right? 762 00:48:40,250 --> 00:48:44,277 - Still need help cleaning up? - No, you mopped it up enough with your back. 763 00:48:44,354 --> 00:48:46,288 [ Vomits ] 764 00:48:46,356 --> 00:48:50,349 Oh, disgusting! Where's the Band-Aid? 765 00:48:50,427 --> 00:48:54,124 - [ Kim ] Dad, it still hurts. - Oh, here, let me look. Let me look. 766 00:48:54,197 --> 00:48:56,461 Nora, where's that Band-- 767 00:48:56,533 --> 00:48:59,058 Jake put a bucket on Jessica's head, and it's stuck. 768 00:48:59,136 --> 00:49:01,036 And when they have a free moment, let my parents know that... 769 00:49:01,104 --> 00:49:03,732 I came by to tell 'em I got a job today at an ad agency. 770 00:49:03,807 --> 00:49:07,004 Nora-- Nora! 771 00:49:09,079 --> 00:49:12,071 - Dad, a little help here.! - Nora! 772 00:49:12,149 --> 00:49:14,379 - Nora.! - [ Gasping ] 773 00:49:14,451 --> 00:49:16,919 [ Yells ] 774 00:49:18,121 --> 00:49:20,055 - Are you all right? - [ Groans ] 775 00:49:20,123 --> 00:49:22,683 - You are in over your head, mister! - I'm so sorry. 776 00:49:22,759 --> 00:49:25,284 I mean, I will-- I will call-- It's just my wife is out of town. 777 00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:27,489 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Come here. Come here. 778 00:49:27,564 --> 00:49:31,523 - Dad, can I killJake now? - No, you finish washing the car first. 779 00:49:31,601 --> 00:49:34,195 - Dad, can you get this Band-Aid on me? - Yes, yes. Come on. Come on. 780 00:49:34,271 --> 00:49:37,104 - Let's go. Okay, come on. Everything will be all right. - [Jessica ] Oh,Jake? 781 00:49:37,174 --> 00:49:40,007 - Give me the Band-Aid. - That's the last time you put a bucket on my head.! 782 00:49:40,077 --> 00:49:42,045 - Does that hurt? Okay, good. - [ Gunner Barking ] 783 00:49:42,112 --> 00:49:45,047 - There it is. All right, good. Good. - [ Telephone Ringing ] 784 00:49:45,115 --> 00:49:47,276 [ Nigel ] Hey, Nigel, wanna play darts? 785 00:49:47,351 --> 00:49:50,115 No! No playing darts! I told you that! 786 00:49:51,355 --> 00:49:53,619 - Hello? - Hi. How's it goin'? 787 00:49:53,690 --> 00:49:56,090 Oh, everything's fine. I'm just, uh-- I'm just here. I'm just, uh, making dinner. 788 00:49:56,159 --> 00:49:58,855 - Yeah. - Dad, check me out.! 789 00:49:58,929 --> 00:50:02,729 - Isn't this awesome? [ Yelling ] - How are you? 790 00:50:02,799 --> 00:50:04,699 - Good, I guess. - [ Sarah ] Sorry, Dad.! 791 00:50:04,768 --> 00:50:06,895 I mean, it's kind of weird having all this free time. 792 00:50:06,970 --> 00:50:10,497 - You sure everything's all right, honey? - Oh, honey, everything's fine. 793 00:50:10,574 --> 00:50:12,940 - [ Both Yelling ] - I can handle it. 794 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:15,877 All right, you know, I'm just used to tag-teaming to manage the mob. 795 00:50:15,946 --> 00:50:18,437 - So I thought-- - Oh, no. They're like kittens. 796 00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:20,574 - Whoa! - [ Sarah ] Sorry, Dad.! 797 00:50:20,650 --> 00:50:24,381 Uh, well, this might be a good time then to talk about me staying a few extra days. 798 00:50:24,454 --> 00:50:29,221 - What? A few extra days? - Uh, 1 4, give or take. 799 00:50:29,292 --> 00:50:32,056 [ Whispering Loudly ] What did I say about throwing darts? 800 00:50:32,129 --> 00:50:34,597 That's a lot of days, Kate, and a couple of key games. 801 00:50:34,664 --> 00:50:37,929 All right, but I have a plan. If we just take it one day at a time... 802 00:50:38,001 --> 00:50:40,128 and if you start to get overwhelmed or the kids stage a coup... 803 00:50:40,203 --> 00:50:42,137 you call me up, I'm home, end of trip. 804 00:50:42,205 --> 00:50:45,641 Well, uh, s-s-sounds good. Sounds good. 805 00:50:45,709 --> 00:50:47,643 - [ Both Giggling ] - Got him in the face! 806 00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:51,272 Okay, honey, thanks for doin' this. Give me someone. 807 00:50:51,348 --> 00:50:54,943 Oh. Hey, uh, you know what? They're doing homework right now... 808 00:50:55,018 --> 00:50:59,785 and it's that math, uh, trig-- ""trigadronomy'' thing that you and I just aren't very good at. 809 00:50:59,856 --> 00:51:03,656 And it's the sweetest thing. They formed a little study group... 810 00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:07,322 and they're helping each other, and, uh, it's like a little mini, uh... 811 00:51:07,397 --> 00:51:11,197 - think tank thing. - [ Nigel, Kyle Laughing ] 812 00:51:11,268 --> 00:51:13,395 And I'd just hate to break that up. 813 00:51:13,470 --> 00:51:17,201 Well, give everyone my love, and you call me right after dinner, okay? 814 00:51:17,274 --> 00:51:19,208 - Okay. Will do. - Bye. - [ Glass Shattering ] 815 00:51:19,276 --> 00:51:22,074 - Bye. - [ Nigel ] Come on, Dad. Don't hide in the closet. 816 00:51:22,145 --> 00:51:24,272 [ Kyle ] Take it like a man.! 817 00:51:24,347 --> 00:51:26,281 Two weeks'll go by in no time, guys. You'll see. 818 00:51:26,349 --> 00:51:28,909 [Jessica, Kim ] Yeah, right.! 819 00:51:28,985 --> 00:51:31,385 Yeah, right. 820 00:51:33,056 --> 00:51:35,786 - [ Knocking ] - Yeah? 821 00:51:35,859 --> 00:51:37,451 - Hey. - What's up? 822 00:51:37,527 --> 00:51:39,654 - Okay? - Come in. 823 00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:42,865 [ Clears Throat ] 824 00:51:42,933 --> 00:51:46,391 Look,your mom's not coming home for a couple of weeks. 825 00:51:48,738 --> 00:51:51,434 What? 826 00:51:51,508 --> 00:51:54,272 Okay. Up till now, I've been, like, mellow... 827 00:51:54,344 --> 00:51:58,303 about this whole having-it-all lifestyle that you and Mom are currently into... 828 00:51:58,381 --> 00:52:01,509 ""A,'' because Sarah has the drama queen role totally covered... 829 00:52:01,585 --> 00:52:04,986 and ""B,'' because I've benefited from your salary spike... 830 00:52:05,055 --> 00:52:08,286 in various shallow but nonetheless pleasing ways. 831 00:52:08,358 --> 00:52:12,727 But, Dad, check it out. This afternoon, Mike was repelling from the roof... 832 00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:14,525 Nigel was using Kim as a human dartboard... 833 00:52:14,598 --> 00:52:17,260 and you employed your son as a vomit mop. 834 00:52:17,334 --> 00:52:21,737 Call me crazy, Pops, but things are getting pretty twisted around here. 835 00:52:21,805 --> 00:52:24,433 I need to hire some help. 836 00:52:24,508 --> 00:52:27,875 As in a babysitter? Okay, that is so not happening. 837 00:52:27,944 --> 00:52:30,606 Dad,just call Mom and tell her we need her back home. 838 00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,171 I just can't do that right now, not with all the work she's done. 839 00:52:33,250 --> 00:52:35,184 It just wouldn't be fair. 840 00:52:35,252 --> 00:52:38,551 Well, then why don't you spend more time at home? 841 00:52:38,622 --> 00:52:41,216 Honey, that's just not an option right now. 842 00:52:41,291 --> 00:52:44,055 I've got a big job, a job that I love. 843 00:52:44,127 --> 00:52:46,425 I'm gonna have to call in some backup. 844 00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:55,935 [ Tom ] Hello. 845 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:59,840 Uh, my name is Tom Baker, and I'm interested in hiring a domestic helper. 846 00:52:59,910 --> 00:53:03,869 Um, I have 1 2 children. 847 00:53:05,215 --> 00:53:07,149 Actually, I'm serious. 848 00:53:07,217 --> 00:53:09,583 -Just 1 2. - Twelve. 849 00:53:09,653 --> 00:53:12,121 There's only two. Oh, plus 1 0. 850 00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:15,590 How many kids? Well, uh, when you get here we can just count 'em up. 851 00:53:15,659 --> 00:53:17,627 Well, there's 1 2. But one doesn't live with me... 852 00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:19,628 and one you never see 'cause he's so mad. 853 00:53:19,696 --> 00:53:21,163 Uh, a dozen? 854 00:53:31,274 --> 00:53:34,732 Just-Just-Just 1 2. 855 00:53:34,811 --> 00:53:38,076 Hello. I'll just hang up on myself. 856 00:53:40,483 --> 00:53:42,781 ??[ Rock On Radio ] 857 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,899 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, Mike. What's up? 858 00:54:05,976 --> 00:54:09,104 - It's Mark. - Right. Mark. What's up? 859 00:54:09,179 --> 00:54:11,147 I don't get this math homework. 860 00:54:12,716 --> 00:54:15,708 Hey, you know what? I've got a game I'm not nearly prepared for. 861 00:54:15,785 --> 00:54:17,719 Could you go ask one of your sisters to help you? 862 00:54:17,787 --> 00:54:20,950 Yeah. Okay. 863 00:54:28,098 --> 00:54:31,090 [ Groans ] Forget it. 864 00:54:36,206 --> 00:54:38,401 Hello. Yeah, could you do me a favor... 865 00:54:38,475 --> 00:54:43,811 and send up 1 2 pillows to 504? 866 00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:45,814 Yes. [ Sighs ] 867 00:54:45,882 --> 00:54:48,009 Thank you. 868 00:54:48,084 --> 00:54:50,382 Mmm. That'll be good. 869 00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:58,184 ""Hey, kids, I had to get to work. 870 00:54:58,261 --> 00:55:00,195 ""Lorraine and Kim, you're in charge of breakfast. 871 00:55:00,263 --> 00:55:05,200 Henry and Jake, lunches. Charlie, handle drop-offs.'' 872 00:55:05,268 --> 00:55:08,032 - [ Bell Ringing ] - Come on, Charlie. We're gonna be late. 873 00:55:08,104 --> 00:55:11,096 Cute car seats, Baker. [ Chuckles ] 874 00:55:11,174 --> 00:55:13,369 You know, we had to take our little brothers to nursery school... 875 00:55:13,443 --> 00:55:15,434 if that's okay with you. 876 00:55:15,512 --> 00:55:18,072 What happened? Did-Did Mommy and Daddy go back to the farm? 877 00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:21,413 You know what? This whole ""harass the hick'' thing's getting pretty old. 878 00:55:21,484 --> 00:55:23,543 Actually, I'm just gettin' started. 879 00:55:23,620 --> 00:55:25,212 - Yeah? What else you got? - Yeah. 880 00:55:25,288 --> 00:55:27,222 - You don't wanna know, man. - Oh, I wanna know. 881 00:55:27,290 --> 00:55:30,259 Charlie! Charlie, Charlie, stop. 882 00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:32,591 Stop.Just let it go, okay? Please. 883 00:55:32,662 --> 00:55:35,222 Yeah, Charlie. Let it go, and go... 884 00:55:35,298 --> 00:55:37,493 - all the way back to Podunk. - [ Girl Chuckles ] 885 00:55:37,567 --> 00:55:40,661 - Charlie, go. - Go. 886 00:55:40,737 --> 00:55:43,297 [ Laughter ] 887 00:55:43,373 --> 00:55:46,103 Hey, Gil, I got a real shot with this team. 888 00:55:46,176 --> 00:55:48,440 They're 2-0. They're rising in the national standings... 889 00:55:48,511 --> 00:55:50,445 and they're taking nothing for granted. 890 00:55:50,513 --> 00:55:55,041 - Hey, Coach. - Hey, teenager, what's up? 891 00:55:55,118 --> 00:55:57,678 - We need to talk. - Sure. 892 00:56:00,724 --> 00:56:03,386 - Look, Dad, um-- - Hey, guys, knock it off!. 893 00:56:03,460 --> 00:56:05,451 [ Boy ] All right, Coach.! 894 00:56:06,996 --> 00:56:10,363 I know you're all lit up about this new job... 895 00:56:10,433 --> 00:56:12,731 - but my new school-- - The press is waiting, Bake! 896 00:56:12,802 --> 00:56:16,397 - They're out there now? - Yeah. Come on. Get dressed. - Hey, can we do this later? 897 00:56:39,362 --> 00:56:41,557 Hey, kids. How was your day at school? 898 00:56:41,631 --> 00:56:45,931 I'd say the high point was that you're only 45 minutes late picking us up. 899 00:56:46,002 --> 00:56:48,835 Hey, you know what? There was a pep rally at school today. 900 00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:52,204 There were 20,000 people in the stands, and I just couldn't leave. 901 00:56:52,275 --> 00:56:55,642 - Here. - Hey, you did a drawing. 902 00:56:56,746 --> 00:56:59,146 ""My favorite place in the world--'' 903 00:57:01,618 --> 00:57:03,483 Is that the Midland house? 904 00:57:16,332 --> 00:57:18,562 President Gerhard and I have been waiting for a half an hour. 905 00:57:18,635 --> 00:57:20,569 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had to-- 906 00:57:20,637 --> 00:57:22,628 I know you have responsibilities at home, Bake, but this is it. 907 00:57:22,705 --> 00:57:25,071 This is your shot, your moment, not theirs. 908 00:57:25,141 --> 00:57:28,008 What's the matter with you? What are you doing? 909 00:57:28,077 --> 00:57:30,545 You've wanted this for as long as I've known you. 910 00:57:30,613 --> 00:57:33,047 [ Sighs ] I just don't want to see you blow it. 911 00:57:34,617 --> 00:57:36,551 I'll work something out. 912 00:57:36,619 --> 00:57:40,248 It's hard to believe someone as staggeringly beautiful as you... 913 00:57:40,323 --> 00:57:44,089 could deliver 1 2 children and still look as yummy as you do. 914 00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,822 [ Laughing ] Oh, that's so sweet. 915 00:57:46,896 --> 00:57:49,228 I guess the camera can't see my hips. 916 00:57:49,299 --> 00:57:52,200 [ Kelly ] Tell us, did you have them conventionally? 917 00:57:52,268 --> 00:57:54,566 [ Audience Laughing ] 918 00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,907 [ Chuckles ] 919 00:57:58,975 --> 00:58:02,069 Well, uh, after the sixth one, they just kind of walked out. 920 00:58:02,145 --> 00:58:05,876 - [ Audience Laughing ] - Why don't you read us a little something from your book? 921 00:58:05,949 --> 00:58:09,282 Oh, I don't know. No. People can just buy it and then read it. 922 00:58:09,352 --> 00:58:12,321 - Oh, come on. - The audience wants it. 923 00:58:12,388 --> 00:58:15,186 - [ Audience Cheering ] - Oh, all right. Okay. 924 00:58:15,258 --> 00:58:17,419 [ Clears Throat ] ""Some, uh, call me a mom. 925 00:58:17,494 --> 00:58:19,758 ""Others call me a primary caregiver. 926 00:58:19,829 --> 00:58:22,297 But they both mean the same thing: chauffeur.'' 927 00:58:22,365 --> 00:58:25,425 You know, it sounds like you and your husband have things under control at home. 928 00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:28,130 Oh, well, I'm lucky to have him. We sure do. 929 00:58:28,204 --> 00:58:30,934 Kids, on the carpet! Now! 930 00:58:36,079 --> 00:58:38,980 [ Gasps ] Dad! 931 00:58:39,048 --> 00:58:42,779 College guys? [ Gasps, Squeals ] 932 00:58:42,852 --> 00:58:45,821 - What's goin' on here? - Where's Charlie? 933 00:58:45,889 --> 00:58:49,655 -He went to Midland for the day. -Midland? It's a school day. 934 00:58:49,726 --> 00:58:53,162 - He hates school. - 'Course you couldn't know that 'cause you're never home. 935 00:58:54,664 --> 00:58:56,962 Well, that is about to change, Sarah Baker. 936 00:58:57,033 --> 00:59:00,127 Because since I can't go to work without you guys getting in trouble... 937 00:59:00,203 --> 00:59:03,263 and since I can't stay home without Shake bugging me... 938 00:59:03,339 --> 00:59:05,364 I have brought my work home with me. 939 00:59:05,441 --> 00:59:07,432 Guys, meet the family. Family, meet the team. 940 00:59:07,510 --> 00:59:09,740 - 'Sup, boys? - What's up? 941 00:59:09,812 --> 00:59:12,747 Okay, we will be in the living room. We got a lot of work to do. 942 00:59:12,815 --> 00:59:15,807 I don't want any interruptions unless it's an emergency. Clear? 943 00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:19,954 Okay. Now go do your homework. Let's go, guys. 944 00:59:25,528 --> 00:59:28,861 [ Tom ] All right, first team, line up.! 945 00:59:28,932 --> 00:59:31,025 [ Grunting ] 946 00:59:31,100 --> 00:59:33,227 Good. Good. Good. 947 00:59:33,303 --> 00:59:37,239 But you hit 'em too high. You wanna hit 'em low. 948 00:59:37,307 --> 00:59:41,767 [ Indistinct Shouting ] 949 00:59:41,844 --> 00:59:44,312 Twenty-four. 950 00:59:49,953 --> 00:59:54,890 Dad, come on! 951 00:59:54,958 --> 00:59:58,223 Hey, how's New York? 952 01:00:03,299 --> 01:00:05,961 [ Together] Hi. 953 01:00:06,035 --> 01:00:08,902 Okay, I've gotta go now. 954 01:00:11,874 --> 01:00:14,809 I love you. 955 01:00:25,822 --> 01:00:29,053 [ Indistinct ] 956 01:00:29,125 --> 01:00:33,687 [ Grunting ] 957 01:00:37,233 --> 01:00:40,760 [ Indistinct ] 958 01:00:40,837 --> 01:00:43,101 [ Laughing ] 959 01:00:55,251 --> 01:00:59,381 [ Laughing ] 960 01:01:03,626 --> 01:01:05,890 Step off, missy! 961 01:01:05,962 --> 01:01:09,090 You don't talk that way unless it's with humor! 962 01:01:12,168 --> 01:01:15,604 Something tells me you had an unpleasant interaction with those boys, Mark. 963 01:01:15,672 --> 01:01:18,106 They knocked my glasses off. 964 01:01:23,813 --> 01:01:25,713 I heard you were dissing my family. 965 01:01:25,782 --> 01:01:27,716 I don't even know your family, loser. 966 01:01:27,784 --> 01:01:30,617 - You do now. - My latte! 967 01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:34,384 [ Shouting ] 968 01:01:38,795 --> 01:01:43,289 Coach, give us a quote. 969 01:01:51,340 --> 01:01:55,071 Violence begets violence. 970 01:02:02,752 --> 01:02:04,947 [ Tom ] All right, enough is enough. 971 01:02:05,021 --> 01:02:08,616 You're slacking on your chores. You're fighting at school. Things are out of control. 972 01:02:08,691 --> 01:02:11,956 As of this moment, you are all grounded. 973 01:02:12,028 --> 01:02:14,997 - What's ""grounded''? - ""What's grounded?'' 974 01:02:15,064 --> 01:02:18,830 I'll tell you what grounded is. Except for attending games... 975 01:02:18,901 --> 01:02:21,529 you go to school; you come home from school; 976 01:02:21,604 --> 01:02:23,765 you do your homework; you do your chores; 977 01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,808 you go to bed; and that's it. 978 01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:28,935 - But that-- - Oh, yes, Sarah, I know. That sucks. 979 01:02:29,011 --> 01:02:32,606 - But that's the way it is. - Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party? 980 01:02:32,682 --> 01:02:36,709 -That's exactly what it means. -We bought his presents already. 981 01:02:36,786 --> 01:02:38,981 You are going to miss it! 982 01:02:41,023 --> 01:02:43,014 Now, go to bed! 983 01:03:16,425 --> 01:03:20,885 Hey, Gunner. Wanna get up on the bed, buddy? Huh? 984 01:03:20,963 --> 01:03:23,261 - Come on. - [ Groans ] 985 01:03:26,002 --> 01:03:27,526 Come on. 986 01:04:01,637 --> 01:04:04,367 [ Quiet Chattering ] 987 01:04:05,942 --> 01:04:10,572 - Hello. - Next year, let's book the Mormon Tabernacle Choir too. 988 01:04:10,646 --> 01:04:14,548 Whatever happened to pin the tail on the donkey? 989 01:04:14,617 --> 01:04:18,246 And on the end around, the guard pulls. That means you, Buttler. 990 01:04:18,321 --> 01:04:21,381 ??[ String Quartet ] 991 01:04:39,208 --> 01:04:42,644 I'm going to Dylan's birthday party. Who's with me? 992 01:04:42,712 --> 01:04:44,976 Yeah! 993 01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:06,600 Hi-- Oh. 994 01:05:13,709 --> 01:05:17,110 Brazilian mud viper. She gets one live rat a week. 995 01:05:22,051 --> 01:05:24,884 Hey, Dylan. Wanna play catch with the football I got you? 996 01:05:24,954 --> 01:05:28,151 Uh, my nanny'd have to check with my dad... 997 01:05:28,224 --> 01:05:32,126 who'd have to check with my mom who would say it was an inappropriate use of free time. 998 01:05:32,194 --> 01:05:35,493 Hmm. Sounds like a ""yes'' to me. Go get it, Mike. 999 01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:48,839 And, O'Neal, you gotta crack the first guy that shows outside. 1000 01:05:48,911 --> 01:05:51,345 [ Man Shouting ] Run, Billy.! Run.! 1001 01:05:51,414 --> 01:05:54,349 [ Children Screaming, Shouting ] 1002 01:05:54,417 --> 01:05:57,682 [ Shouting Continues ] 1003 01:06:02,391 --> 01:06:05,155 Kids? 1004 01:06:05,227 --> 01:06:07,787 [ Shouting Continues ] 1005 01:06:10,733 --> 01:06:13,827 [ Hissing ] 1006 01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:22,204 [ Laughing ] 1007 01:06:22,278 --> 01:06:24,576 Get my kids. I'll meet you at the house. 1008 01:06:24,647 --> 01:06:27,343 - Ready! - [ Together] Break! 1009 01:06:30,753 --> 01:06:34,280 - [ Laughing ] - [ Screaming ] 1010 01:06:40,129 --> 01:06:42,859 Sarah Baker, off, now! 1011 01:06:42,932 --> 01:06:45,560 - No way! - Don't make me come up there! 1012 01:06:57,446 --> 01:07:01,280 [ Man Yells ] 1013 01:07:10,393 --> 01:07:13,328 Oh, my God! It's gonna blow! 1014 01:07:13,396 --> 01:07:16,229 [ Tom Screaming ] 1015 01:07:16,298 --> 01:07:18,892 - [ Grunts ] - [ Grunts ] 1016 01:07:18,968 --> 01:07:22,096 [ Screaming Continues ] 1017 01:07:26,809 --> 01:07:30,074 - Aaaah! - [ Screams ] 1018 01:07:30,146 --> 01:07:33,115 It was my best birthday ever, Coach. 1019 01:07:33,182 --> 01:07:35,912 Your children are never playing with Dylan again! 1020 01:07:35,985 --> 01:07:38,681 - Sorry about your arm, Dylan. - [ Cell Phone Ringing ] 1021 01:07:38,754 --> 01:07:41,245 - [ Woman Continues Ranting ] - Hello, Shake. 1022 01:07:41,323 --> 01:07:43,917 Any idea what this could do to my program? Don't speak. Listen. 1023 01:07:43,993 --> 01:07:47,121 I don't want the players at your house, and I don't want your kids in the department. 1024 01:07:47,196 --> 01:07:51,360 - There he is.! - Coach! Coach! How will this impact Saturday's game? 1025 01:07:51,434 --> 01:07:55,666 Coach, what do you have to say to reports that you're simply spreading yourself too thin? 1026 01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:59,697 - Is this child care or football? - Sarah from Evanston, you're on with Kate Baker. 1027 01:07:59,775 --> 01:08:02,073 Mom, it's Sarah. 1028 01:08:02,144 --> 01:08:04,772 Hi, Sarah. Is everything okay? 1029 01:08:04,847 --> 01:08:07,680 - Come home immediately. - I wanna talk to her! 1030 01:08:07,750 --> 01:08:10,480 - No! Guys! - [ Children Shouting ] 1031 01:08:10,553 --> 01:08:13,681 - I wanna talk to her.! - Guys, stop! 1032 01:08:14,723 --> 01:08:17,385 - [ Line Beeps ] - Hello? 1033 01:08:17,460 --> 01:08:19,792 Now look what you did. 1034 01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:30,837 - Dad? - Oh, Nora. 1035 01:08:30,906 --> 01:08:33,807 Thanks for coming. Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. 1036 01:08:33,876 --> 01:08:37,539 - You seemed kind of desperate on the phone. - Yeah. They're... everywhere. 1037 01:08:39,949 --> 01:08:42,008 You guys? 1038 01:08:58,067 --> 01:09:01,127 [ Cell Phone Ringing ] 1039 01:09:01,203 --> 01:09:04,331 - Hi. - I just talked to the kids. 1040 01:09:04,406 --> 01:09:07,034 Yes, I know everything. Dylan's in the hospital. 1041 01:09:07,109 --> 01:09:10,670 Charlie's about to be expelled. And Nora taking time off from her firstjob to babysit? 1042 01:09:10,746 --> 01:09:13,408 - Can we do this later, Kate? - No, Tom. 1043 01:09:13,482 --> 01:09:16,781 You promised me that you would let me know if you couldn't handle it. 1044 01:09:16,852 --> 01:09:20,413 I'm doing the best I can. Please, let's talk later. 1045 01:09:20,489 --> 01:09:22,957 Bye. 1046 01:09:26,996 --> 01:09:31,092 - What's the matter? - The book tour's over for me. I'm going home. 1047 01:09:31,167 --> 01:09:34,102 [ Sighs ] 1048 01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:37,537 [ Nora ] Get a move on, guys. We gotta get dinner on the table. 1049 01:09:39,041 --> 01:09:41,407 [ Answering Machine Rewinding, Beeping ] 1050 01:09:41,477 --> 01:09:44,412 [ Kate On Machine ] Hi. It's me. Okay, I'm coming home. 1051 01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:46,641 Now, I know this is gonna be a big strain. 1052 01:09:46,715 --> 01:09:50,207 The publishing company arranged for the Oprah Winfrey Show to tape at our house tomorrow... 1053 01:09:50,286 --> 01:09:53,221 which is,you know, great, but I'm really gonna need your help. 1054 01:09:53,289 --> 01:09:57,123 We're talking Bakers full force. Boys, you clean up the outside,.girls, the inside. 1055 01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:59,252 I want everybody in fancy, nice, clean clothes. 1056 01:09:59,328 --> 01:10:03,765 And, Tom, if you could please supervise this one last thing, I would really appreciate it. 1057 01:10:03,832 --> 01:10:06,266 - Okay? All right. Bye. - [ Machine Beeps ] 1058 01:10:06,335 --> 01:10:08,895 Sounds like somebody got his jimmy whipped. 1059 01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:14,734 [ Chuckles ] Jimmy whipped! 1060 01:10:14,810 --> 01:10:18,803 [ Screams, Groans ] 1061 01:10:20,082 --> 01:10:22,312 Mommy! 1062 01:10:24,053 --> 01:10:26,146 [ Clattering ] 1063 01:10:34,163 --> 01:10:38,190 [ Dog Barking ] 1064 01:11:22,978 --> 01:11:25,606 [ Croaks ] 1065 01:11:25,681 --> 01:11:28,650 Beans, you okay? 1066 01:11:32,021 --> 01:11:34,717 [ Phone Ringing ] 1067 01:11:34,790 --> 01:11:38,021 - [ Both Yelling ] - Go get dressed, guys. 1068 01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:43,288 - [ Woman On P.A., Indistinct ] - [ Tom On Phone ] Hello. 1069 01:11:43,365 --> 01:11:46,129 Oh, it's me. Yeah. My flight was delayed. They lost my luggage. 1070 01:11:46,201 --> 01:11:48,328 I'm gettin' there as soon as I can. Sorry. 1071 01:11:48,404 --> 01:11:51,771 Okay. Those are for Oprah's people! 1072 01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:55,207 - Is the house clean? - We're working on it, Kate. 1073 01:11:55,277 --> 01:11:58,735 - Okay. I'll see you when I see you. - [ Phone Beeps ] 1074 01:12:00,382 --> 01:12:02,907 Okay, guys, good job! Go inside and get cleaned up. 1075 01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:05,920 Come on! Hustle up! Hustle up! Let's go! 1076 01:12:13,028 --> 01:12:15,087 [ Snoring ] 1077 01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:17,724 [Jake ] Camera truck's here.! 1078 01:12:24,707 --> 01:12:28,370 I need warm water! Look out, Dad! 1079 01:12:28,444 --> 01:12:31,641 Don't make a mess in the kitchen! 1080 01:12:31,714 --> 01:12:34,581 - [ Knocks ] - Hello? Uh, Baker house? 1081 01:12:34,650 --> 01:12:36,641 - Yeah. You guys from Oprah? - Yes, sir. 1082 01:12:36,719 --> 01:12:39,085 - She's really gonna be here? - Any time now. 1083 01:12:39,154 --> 01:12:42,123 Okay, well,just, you know, set up anywhere. 1084 01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:44,625 - Will do. - Let's go, guys. 1085 01:12:46,729 --> 01:12:49,960 All right. Let's set up over here, guys. 1086 01:12:54,503 --> 01:12:57,768 - [ Charlie ] Knock much? - You got kicked off the team. 1087 01:12:57,840 --> 01:13:00,638 Well, look who decided to be a parent! 1088 01:13:00,709 --> 01:13:03,337 Let's check that attitude, Charlie. 1089 01:13:03,412 --> 01:13:07,280 I don't fit in this town, Dad. I'm going back to Midland. 1090 01:13:07,349 --> 01:13:11,445 You are not dropping out of school, and you are not walking out on this family. 1091 01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:13,454 What family? [ Scoffs ] 1092 01:13:13,522 --> 01:13:17,481 Since we moved here, everybody's been looking out for number one, especially you and Mom. 1093 01:13:17,559 --> 01:13:20,460 Your mother and I are doing what we think is best for everyone. 1094 01:13:20,529 --> 01:13:23,965 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You did not take this coaching job for us. 1095 01:13:24,032 --> 01:13:28,093 You took this because you were a loser in college while Shake was being a superstar. 1096 01:13:28,170 --> 01:13:32,607 If you want your shot at glory, if you wanna have it all, you do what you gotta do. 1097 01:13:32,674 --> 01:13:36,110 But quit feeding us this line about being a happier and stronger family. 1098 01:13:36,178 --> 01:13:40,478 This move was about you! And you know what? 1099 01:13:40,549 --> 01:13:45,680 I don't have to sit here and pay the price for your life choices. I'm leaving. 1100 01:13:48,357 --> 01:13:50,484 You're staying. 1101 01:13:50,559 --> 01:13:52,618 Are you gonna make me? 1102 01:13:54,730 --> 01:13:58,222 Charlie, I love you. 1103 01:13:58,300 --> 01:14:01,895 I want you to have the best life you can have. 1104 01:14:01,970 --> 01:14:04,837 And that means you're getting a diploma. 1105 01:14:07,476 --> 01:14:11,139 When I graduate, I'm gone. 1106 01:14:16,218 --> 01:14:20,382 Hey, Charlie, am I looking okay for national TV? 1107 01:14:21,924 --> 01:14:25,553 You know, you turned into a jerk when we moved here! 1108 01:14:25,627 --> 01:14:29,529 - [ Door Closes ] - Everybody turned into a jerk when we moved here. 1109 01:14:36,104 --> 01:14:38,197 [ Engine Starts ] 1110 01:14:42,110 --> 01:14:44,704 Charlie? 1111 01:14:46,381 --> 01:14:48,747 [ Lorraine ] Mom's home.! 1112 01:14:48,817 --> 01:14:50,785 - Mommy! - Mommy! 1113 01:14:53,288 --> 01:14:55,882 - Mommy! Never go away again! - Hi. 1114 01:14:55,958 --> 01:14:58,392 - Mom, listen up. Here's the sizzle. - I missed you, honey. 1115 01:14:58,460 --> 01:15:01,293 Okay, Dad is stressed to the point of a total meltdown. 1116 01:15:01,363 --> 01:15:04,059 Charlie's like a half a step away from juvie, and Mark's-- 1117 01:15:04,132 --> 01:15:06,896 Okay. Oprah's coming. We'll talk about it later. Here we go. 1118 01:15:06,969 --> 01:15:09,870 - Whatever. - I just wanna get everything ready. 1119 01:15:09,938 --> 01:15:12,202 - What's the deal with Charlie? - Fine, thanks. How are you? 1120 01:15:12,274 --> 01:15:15,766 - I'm sorry. Hi. - Hi. Charlie got kicked off the football team. 1121 01:15:15,844 --> 01:15:18,244 - What? - Don't worry. I'm handling it. 1122 01:15:18,313 --> 01:15:21,771 - [ Knocking ] - [ Sighs ] 1123 01:15:21,850 --> 01:15:25,718 Shake. President Gerhard. 1124 01:15:25,787 --> 01:15:27,721 - Tom. - Tom, we need a minute. 1125 01:15:27,789 --> 01:15:32,419 - [ Croaking ] - Please don't die, Beans. 1126 01:15:32,494 --> 01:15:36,590 The university is prepared to make an investment in the program... 1127 01:15:36,665 --> 01:15:38,599 but we want some assurances. 1128 01:15:38,667 --> 01:15:42,125 - What does that mean? - We wanna know you're committed to the football program. 1129 01:15:42,204 --> 01:15:46,664 You have to decide who's making the bacon and who's cooking it. 1130 01:15:46,742 --> 01:15:49,267 [ Shake ] So what's it gonna be, Tom? 1131 01:15:49,344 --> 01:15:51,437 Tom, didn't you pick up my dry cleaning? 1132 01:15:51,513 --> 01:15:54,107 Yes, dear. It's in the front closet. 1133 01:15:54,182 --> 01:15:57,447 Well, I guess the wife just answered our question. 1134 01:15:57,519 --> 01:16:00,682 The wife's name is Kate, Shake. 1135 01:16:02,057 --> 01:16:04,958 What a wiener. 1136 01:16:06,862 --> 01:16:10,423 We want an answer by Monday, Tom. This meeting's over. 1137 01:16:20,108 --> 01:16:22,440 [ Toys Squeaking ] 1138 01:16:22,511 --> 01:16:24,911 I'm all right. 1139 01:16:27,983 --> 01:16:30,383 [ Doll's Voice ] I love you. 1140 01:16:30,452 --> 01:16:33,148 I'm gonna go get ready. 1141 01:16:33,221 --> 01:16:36,156 - [ Gasps ] - Sorry, Dad. 1142 01:16:44,199 --> 01:16:46,429 What's this? 1143 01:16:46,501 --> 01:16:49,163 Hank slept over. Do you have a problem with that? 1144 01:16:49,237 --> 01:16:52,638 Yes, I have a problem with that! This house is G-rated. 1145 01:16:52,708 --> 01:16:55,677 Whoa, chief. Look, Nora's a big girl. 1146 01:16:55,744 --> 01:16:58,736 Now would be an excellent time... 1147 01:16:58,814 --> 01:17:02,682 for you to be very, very quiet... 1148 01:17:02,751 --> 01:17:04,685 chief. 1149 01:17:06,088 --> 01:17:08,886 Now, get dressed and get downstairs. 1150 01:17:10,092 --> 01:17:12,026 Whoa. 1151 01:17:14,963 --> 01:17:18,091 I just-- I can't believe you let things get this bad around here. 1152 01:17:18,166 --> 01:17:20,259 - I can't believe it. - What can I say? 1153 01:17:20,335 --> 01:17:23,031 You didn't pick the perfect moment to have a career. 1154 01:17:23,105 --> 01:17:25,573 Oh, okay, yeah. I'm not even gonna touch that hypocrisy. 1155 01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:28,439 You told me to go to New York. Mr. I Can Handle It. 1156 01:17:28,510 --> 01:17:31,445 ""Everything'll be okay. Go, Kate!'' Help me, would you? 1157 01:17:31,513 --> 01:17:34,846 So you're telling me you didn't want to go to New York? 1158 01:17:34,916 --> 01:17:37,680 No. I want a lot of things. So do you. 1159 01:17:37,753 --> 01:17:41,348 - That's the problem. - This isn't working. 1160 01:17:41,423 --> 01:17:45,450 - Yeah. That's my point. - I meant the zipper. 1161 01:17:50,699 --> 01:17:53,634 Let's just get through the next hour, okay? 1162 01:17:53,702 --> 01:17:56,102 - Fine. - Fine. 1163 01:17:57,639 --> 01:18:00,574 [ Kate ] Okay, everybody. I know it's been a difficult day... 1164 01:18:00,642 --> 01:18:04,874 but I need all of you, and I would appreciate it if you could just put on happy faces. 1165 01:18:04,946 --> 01:18:07,437 Everything's great. We're a big, happy family. 1166 01:18:07,516 --> 01:18:10,451 If you can remember the lines I told you to say to Oprah. 1167 01:18:10,519 --> 01:18:14,216 If you can't remember, don't say anything. Big smiles. Let me see 'em. 1168 01:18:14,289 --> 01:18:17,486 Mom, Beans is dead. 1169 01:18:17,559 --> 01:18:19,823 Nobody cares about your stupid frog, FedEx. 1170 01:18:19,895 --> 01:18:22,295 Stop calling me that! 1171 01:18:22,364 --> 01:18:26,926 - [ Children Yelling ] - Don't you dare call him that.! 1172 01:18:27,002 --> 01:18:29,971 [ Yelling Continues ] 1173 01:18:30,038 --> 01:18:32,802 - [ Tom ] All right.! Hey.! - Stop it! Stop it! 1174 01:18:32,874 --> 01:18:35,240 What's the name of this segment again? 1175 01:18:35,310 --> 01:18:37,676 Uh, ""One Big Happy Family.'' 1176 01:18:37,746 --> 01:18:40,340 Okay, I'm calling Oprah's people right now. 1177 01:18:40,415 --> 01:18:43,680 All I'm saying is, families are inevitable. 1178 01:18:43,752 --> 01:18:46,277 It's like death or taxes. 1179 01:18:46,354 --> 01:18:48,754 Does that mean you don't want children? 1180 01:18:48,824 --> 01:18:51,156 - [ Kate ] Leave him alone.! - Hello! 1181 01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:53,956 Look at these-- They're monsters! 1182 01:18:54,029 --> 01:18:58,864 - [ Yelling Continues ] - Honey, you can't want this. That's why you're with me. 1183 01:19:01,002 --> 01:19:03,971 Nora.! Come on.! We need you down here.! 1184 01:19:04,039 --> 01:19:06,269 [ Lorraine ] You're stepping on me.! Stop.! 1185 01:19:06,341 --> 01:19:09,333 [ Kate ] Nigel, get off your brother's head.! 1186 01:19:09,411 --> 01:19:12,346 Get off me! Nobody cares about me! 1187 01:19:12,414 --> 01:19:15,076 - Nobody cares about me! - Mark, what's going on? 1188 01:19:15,150 --> 01:19:17,880 - Mark.! Mark.! - What are you talking about? 1189 01:19:17,953 --> 01:19:21,855 - I'm perfect! I've never done anything like this before! - No! None of that! 1190 01:19:21,923 --> 01:19:26,019 - Hey! Hey! - No, you do not want to come down here. 1191 01:19:26,094 --> 01:19:28,892 No, it's the farthest thing from a happy family. 1192 01:19:28,964 --> 01:19:30,898 [ Yelling Continues ] 1193 01:19:30,966 --> 01:19:33,332 Why am I the only normal person in the family? 1194 01:20:07,002 --> 01:20:09,232 Feel free to sleep on the couch. 1195 01:20:09,304 --> 01:20:11,932 You read my mind. 1196 01:20:12,007 --> 01:20:16,239 Daddy, are you and Mommy gonna get a divorce? 1197 01:20:19,281 --> 01:20:23,183 Come here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1198 01:20:23,251 --> 01:20:25,185 Mark's gone. 1199 01:20:29,357 --> 01:20:31,348 [ Knocking ] 1200 01:20:31,426 --> 01:20:33,417 - Mark's gone. - What? 1201 01:20:33,495 --> 01:20:36,396 Hey, Dad. 1202 01:20:36,464 --> 01:20:39,456 What I said before-- I was out of line. 1203 01:20:39,534 --> 01:20:41,764 Forget it. 1204 01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:44,772 You were right. 1205 01:20:47,275 --> 01:20:51,336 - [ Gunner Barking ] - [ Children Yelling ] Mark! 1206 01:20:59,955 --> 01:21:03,288 - [ Phone Ringing ] - Hello. 1207 01:21:03,358 --> 01:21:06,122 Hey, Mark ran away. Is he with you? 1208 01:21:06,194 --> 01:21:08,924 No. We'll come help you look. 1209 01:21:12,367 --> 01:21:16,633 There's me! Oh. [ Chuckles ] 1210 01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:19,936 - Mark's missing. - Oh. 1211 01:21:20,008 --> 01:21:23,000 [ TVNarrator ] Take it to the max. Tommy Max. 1212 01:21:23,078 --> 01:21:25,273 Let's go. 1213 01:21:25,347 --> 01:21:27,747 I look great. 1214 01:21:27,816 --> 01:21:30,785 Did you not hear me? My brother is missing! 1215 01:21:30,852 --> 01:21:33,286 No. Did you not hear me? I'm on TV! 1216 01:21:39,928 --> 01:21:41,862 What was that for? 1217 01:21:45,166 --> 01:21:47,100 Oh. What do you want? 1218 01:21:47,168 --> 01:21:50,331 My son Mark ran away. He's not here, is he? 1219 01:21:50,405 --> 01:21:53,602 I always knew one of your kids would land on a milk carton. 1220 01:21:53,675 --> 01:21:56,303 Twelve is just too big a number. 1221 01:21:56,378 --> 01:22:00,314 - We'll help you look for him. - It's-It's past Dylan's bedtime. 1222 01:22:00,382 --> 01:22:03,283 We're gonna look for him, Tina. 1223 01:22:03,351 --> 01:22:05,114 - Thank you. - Sure. 1224 01:22:06,621 --> 01:22:10,079 Let the police handle it! You'll never find him! 1225 01:22:10,158 --> 01:22:13,889 Oh, we'll find him. Like you said, 1 2's a big number. 1226 01:22:13,962 --> 01:22:17,898 - Mark! Mark! - Mark.! 1227 01:22:17,966 --> 01:22:20,799 He's about, about-- about that high. 1228 01:22:20,869 --> 01:22:24,600 He's got red hair and glasses. There's a photo, and you can keep that. 1229 01:22:24,673 --> 01:22:27,608 No luck. I've been everywhere. 1230 01:22:28,910 --> 01:22:30,878 Thanks for looking. 1231 01:22:30,946 --> 01:22:34,712 - Where's Hank? - He's not gonna make the cut. 1232 01:22:34,783 --> 01:22:37,217 I hope the family isn't to blame. 1233 01:22:39,521 --> 01:22:41,751 They're totally to blame. 1234 01:22:45,460 --> 01:22:48,293 I'll have officers check the train and bus stations. 1235 01:22:48,363 --> 01:22:51,264 - He wouldn't get on a train or a bus. - He might've. 1236 01:22:51,333 --> 01:22:54,791 Those times when I ran away from Midland, I was gonna go to Chicago. 1237 01:22:54,869 --> 01:22:57,030 My favorite place in the world. 1238 01:22:59,541 --> 01:23:01,702 Your favorite place in the world. 1239 01:23:01,776 --> 01:23:04,768 [ Man On P.A., Indistinct ] 1240 01:23:04,846 --> 01:23:07,576 [ Chattering ] 1241 01:23:11,486 --> 01:23:14,114 [ Train Whistle Blowing ] 1242 01:23:53,128 --> 01:23:58,327 You said we'd be happier. You didn't keep your promise. 1243 01:23:58,400 --> 01:24:01,528 I know. I'm sorry. 1244 01:24:04,839 --> 01:24:07,603 [ Train Whistle Blows ] 1245 01:24:54,089 --> 01:24:56,250 Mom.! 1246 01:24:56,324 --> 01:25:00,055 Oh, honey! Oh! 1247 01:25:00,128 --> 01:25:03,757 [ Laughs ] Oh, we missed you, sweetheart. 1248 01:25:03,832 --> 01:25:06,960 Do that again, I'm going to have to pound you. 1249 01:25:07,035 --> 01:25:10,664 - But I thought I was FedEx. - Your eccentricities and vision problems... 1250 01:25:10,738 --> 01:25:15,175 are genetic traits that could be attributed to any number of the Baker ancestors. 1251 01:25:15,243 --> 01:25:19,009 Yeah. Without you, we wouldn't be the 1 2 Bakers anymore. 1252 01:25:19,080 --> 01:25:22,538 We'd be, like, 1 1 . 1253 01:25:22,617 --> 01:25:26,348 I figured everybody hated me like Sarah and Lorraine hate each other. 1254 01:25:26,421 --> 01:25:29,913 There are times when I want to kill Sarah... 1255 01:25:29,991 --> 01:25:34,257 but I'd kill for her all the time. 1256 01:25:34,329 --> 01:25:37,594 - Come here, cutie. - [ All Laughing ] 1257 01:25:47,609 --> 01:25:51,443 Tom? You wanna say something? A few words? 1258 01:25:51,513 --> 01:25:53,572 Sure. 1259 01:25:54,849 --> 01:25:57,545 Beans was a good frog. 1260 01:26:01,990 --> 01:26:06,120 He was, uh, not like a lot of the bad frogs... 1261 01:26:06,194 --> 01:26:09,630 you hear about today, all hopped up. 1262 01:26:09,697 --> 01:26:14,031 - [ Chuckles ] - He was lovable. He was almost human. 1263 01:26:14,102 --> 01:26:16,969 He was like, uh, one of the family. 1264 01:26:17,038 --> 01:26:21,202 Except that, of course, he was green and he ate flies. 1265 01:26:22,710 --> 01:26:25,440 But he was a hopper. 1266 01:26:25,513 --> 01:26:29,950 He hipped and he hopped. 1267 01:26:31,619 --> 01:26:33,780 He loved hip-hop. 1268 01:26:37,192 --> 01:26:40,753 Mark, why don't you-- I think you should say something. 1269 01:26:40,828 --> 01:26:45,162 For a long time, you were the only person I could talk to. 1270 01:26:45,233 --> 01:26:47,633 That's different now. 1271 01:26:47,702 --> 01:26:50,000 But you're the one who got me through. 1272 01:26:50,071 --> 01:26:52,505 Thanks. 1273 01:27:36,150 --> 01:27:38,345 I'm resigning after the season, Shake. 1274 01:27:41,656 --> 01:27:43,886 Giving up the dream, huh? 1275 01:27:43,958 --> 01:27:46,290 Just going with a different one. 1276 01:27:46,361 --> 01:27:47,988 No regrets? 1277 01:27:48,062 --> 01:27:50,929 If I screw up raising my kids... 1278 01:27:50,999 --> 01:27:52,990 nothing I achieve will matter much. 1279 01:27:55,603 --> 01:27:57,298 Thank you. 1280 01:27:59,674 --> 01:28:02,199 We'll make an announcement at the end of the week. 1281 01:28:06,881 --> 01:28:10,612 Come on. Keep the assembly line up here. We gotta get this done. 1282 01:28:10,685 --> 01:28:13,654 - Where's Dad? - He went to the game. 1283 01:28:13,721 --> 01:28:16,246 Why didn't he ask us to go? 1284 01:28:16,324 --> 01:28:20,886 Because... he didn't want you to be there on the day that he quits his job. 1285 01:28:20,962 --> 01:28:23,556 - He's quitting his job? - Mm-hmm. 1286 01:28:23,631 --> 01:28:27,260 - What would we have to do so he wouldn't quit? - I'll give up clarinet lessons. 1287 01:28:27,335 --> 01:28:31,999 - I'll go back to hand-me-downs. - [ All Talking At Once ] 1288 01:28:32,073 --> 01:28:34,371 Okay, ease up. Everybody listen. 1289 01:28:34,442 --> 01:28:37,570 Dad's a big boy, and he makes his own decisions... 1290 01:28:37,645 --> 01:28:41,012 and he's doing this because it's what he wants. 1291 01:28:41,082 --> 01:28:44,711 In that case, I totally take back what I said about the hand-me-downs. 1292 01:28:44,786 --> 01:28:48,187 I thought so. Anybody else wanna take back their offer? 1293 01:28:48,256 --> 01:28:52,124 Yeah, there we go. [ Chuckles ] 1294 01:30:21,682 --> 01:30:24,776 [ Kate Narrating ] I guess you could say that when Tom and I left Midland... 1295 01:30:24,852 --> 01:30:27,844 we had a mess of theories about how to raise children. 1296 01:30:27,922 --> 01:30:31,255 We still have a mess of children, but no theories. 1297 01:30:34,662 --> 01:30:36,687 Sure, 1 2 is still our number. 1298 01:30:38,466 --> 01:30:42,835 It's the number of months my book was on the best-seller list. 1299 01:30:42,904 --> 01:30:47,739 It's the number ofjob offers Tom turned down before we found one close to home. 1300 01:30:47,809 --> 01:30:50,607 - Hike! - [ All Yelling ] 1301 01:30:54,882 --> 01:30:59,683 And each day, it's the number of times I'm thankful there's such a thing as family. 1302 01:31:02,623 --> 01:31:05,421 [ Chattering ] 1303 01:31:56,110 --> 01:31:58,806 ??[ Rock ] 1304 01:32:01,582 --> 01:32:04,210 What happened to you? 1305 01:32:04,285 --> 01:32:06,480 Oh, my God! 1306 01:32:06,554 --> 01:32:09,887 [ Laughing ] 1307 01:32:09,957 --> 01:32:12,323 Save the eggs! 1308 01:32:15,730 --> 01:32:20,030 Yeah, you got room for all your big old family in that new apartment? 1309 01:32:20,101 --> 01:32:22,501 - [ Director ] You're on camera, Steve. - Sorry. I am. 1310 01:32:22,570 --> 01:32:24,834 You idiot. 1311 01:32:24,906 --> 01:32:28,865 Yeah, you got room in your new apartment for that-- 1312 01:32:28,943 --> 01:32:30,968 Battle ax of a wife of mine? 1313 01:32:31,045 --> 01:32:32,979 You got-- 1314 01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:34,981 [ Director ] Act angry, not grumpy. 1315 01:32:35,049 --> 01:32:37,347 - I really am grumpy. - Well, that's good. 1316 01:32:37,418 --> 01:32:39,352 Two times? 1317 01:32:39,420 --> 01:32:41,445 - Two times. Ready? - Then going outside? 1318 01:32:41,522 --> 01:32:44,116 Yeah. Actually, we're almost done, so let's do it. 1319 01:32:44,191 --> 01:32:46,125 On your mark, get set, go.! 1320 01:32:46,193 --> 01:32:48,718 [ Together] I don't wanna move! I don't wanna move! 1321 01:32:48,796 --> 01:32:51,196 Cut. Goodjob. Okay? 1322 01:32:51,265 --> 01:32:55,292 I listened-- I listened the ""goodest.'' 1323 01:32:56,938 --> 01:32:59,304 I don't wanna do it anymore. 1324 01:32:59,373 --> 01:33:02,103 - One more time. - Last one and you're outta here. 1325 01:33:03,744 --> 01:33:06,440 - [ Frog Croaking ] - Cut! Cut! Cut! 1326 01:33:06,514 --> 01:33:08,812 Somebody help me! Help me! 1327 01:33:08,883 --> 01:33:11,750 - Whoa! -Just for the record, Mom-- 1328 01:33:11,819 --> 01:33:14,754 Be careful, pally. Slow down on that stuff. 1329 01:33:14,822 --> 01:33:18,986 You're not gonna remember a damn thing in school if you suck 'em back like I do. 1330 01:33:19,060 --> 01:33:21,790 Now, on the end around the guard pulls. 1331 01:33:21,862 --> 01:33:25,093 That means you, Buttler. Whoa. 1332 01:33:25,166 --> 01:33:28,329 - Cut.! - [ All Laughing ] 1333 01:33:29,370 --> 01:33:31,304 - Action.! - Frankly, I'm concerned. 1334 01:33:31,372 --> 01:33:34,102 I go around those kids, they start beatin' on me. 1335 01:33:34,175 --> 01:33:36,302 What if I get a black eye? [ Laughs ] 1336 01:33:36,377 --> 01:33:40,643 Frankly, I'm concerned, honey. The kids set me on fire, they beat me. 1337 01:33:40,715 --> 01:33:43,912 They're abusive. [ Laughing ] 1338 01:33:43,985 --> 01:33:46,613 This is how I get jobs, right here! 1339 01:33:46,687 --> 01:33:49,417 I'm sorry. I looked at myself in the camera. 1340 01:33:49,490 --> 01:33:51,754 I'm so-- good-looking. They set me on fire! 1341 01:33:51,826 --> 01:33:54,818 - Sounds good to me. - All the kids wrapped in duct tape. 1342 01:33:54,895 --> 01:33:57,728 Maybe we can just roll, roll ourselves in duct tape... 1343 01:33:57,798 --> 01:34:00,289 and then I can just roll you across the floor. 1344 01:34:00,368 --> 01:34:02,427 Together, maybe. 1345 01:34:02,503 --> 01:34:04,869 [ Laughter ] 1346 01:34:07,575 --> 01:34:10,043 Ow!