1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Ripped by Bosman (ICQ 19678111) 2 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:35,200 Long ago the Duke of Milan commissioned a little-known artist - 3 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:40,000 - to erect a mammoth statue of a horse. 4 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:46,300 The time was 1481. The artist was Leonardo da Vinci. 5 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:50,500 The guy on the donkey is just a guy on a donkey. 6 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:55,000 Anyway, they called this statue the Sforza. 7 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:59,500 And it was gonna be the largest bronze statue ever built. 8 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:05,800 But wouldn't you know it, war broke out and bronze became scarce. 9 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:12,700 So da Vinci created a machine to change common lead into bronze. 10 00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:16,600 But when da Vinci finally turned this machine on, - 11 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,700 - it was to give him something more than he expected ... 12 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:29,500 - Something much more than bronze. - Leonardo, what are you doing? 13 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:38,500 Gold! 14 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,300 Bring the crystal. 15 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,800 Maestro, come quickly. 16 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:04,300 Hello. 17 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:11,400 Very nice. 18 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:16,000 I don't think this is a good idea. 19 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:19,500 - Ready. - Good! Let's see it work. 20 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:23,000 No! Wait! 21 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:07,300 Exactly 500 years later, an artist in the field of cat burglary - 22 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:11,500 - was getting out of Sing Sing. 23 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:15,300 He was known as the Hudson Hawk. 24 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:20,700 Got a coat. Hat. Here's your personal items. 25 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:24,700 Here's your wallet. Everything's in there. 26 00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:28,500 - Don't you want your receipt? - Keep it. 27 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:32,100 I've got it, Charlie ... Eddie! 28 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:37,500 So the Hudson Hawk is getting out. Remember your capture? 29 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:41,600 "The world's greatest cat burglar." Now who gives a fuck? 30 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:45,600 - I've got a proposition for you. - No. 31 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,800 As your parole officer, I've found you a job. 32 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,000 An auction house. One night's work and you're free. 33 00:06:54,200 --> 00:07:00,200 - No community service. - I want to do community service. 34 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:05,700 - I ain't stealing no more, Gates. - You still impress yourself. 35 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:11,200 - But guys like you are extinct. - That's good coming from you. 36 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:16,100 Aren't you supposed to stop me from committing crimes? 37 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:21,400 I can set you up and send you back here any time I want. 38 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:26,900 It's a very fine line between ex-con and escaped con. 39 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,300 Hey, Gates ... do it yourself. 40 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:35,700 He's got my keys! I'll be seeing you, Hawk. 41 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,800 Open the gate. 42 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,800 See you around, Mike. 43 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,800 That's the first thing I did. Taste the freedom. 44 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:17,100 - So, Eddie, did I miss anything? - As always, your timing is perfect. 45 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:24,800 Where's the kiss? No tongue this time, I promise. 46 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:29,100 - What? - You've been expanding ... 47 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:33,500 Don't say it! I'm very sensitive about my figure. 48 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:38,600 I was going to say consciousness ... Tubbo. 49 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:53,600 Now you're out, what do you want to do? Entertain some ladies? 50 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:58,200 Play Nintendo? Bone some chicks? 51 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:03,000 What's Nintendo? Just get me to the Five Tone, Tommy. 52 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:10,300 - I've got to get a cappuccino. - You still like those fag coffees. 53 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:15,200 - Who's your buddy? - The man knows! 54 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,700 - Did you have any trouble leaving? - Not much. 55 00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:23,400 Gates just tried to blackmail me into doing a job. 56 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:28,000 That rat bastard! 57 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:33,100 - It had the perfect amount of foam. - Let's get to the bar. 58 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:39,000 - Rob an auction house? - Yes. Are you going deaf? 59 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:44,800 - I'm not going deaf. - Just get me into Five Tone. 60 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,800 Don't make fun of my hearing. You're going to love the bar. 61 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,900 The Five Tone Bar and Grill. At least one thing will never ... 62 00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:59,600 A couple of brokers stopped in for spritzers one night. 63 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:06,400 Now we're a nice local bar that none of the locals can afford. 64 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,200 - Where's all the regulars? - Gone. 65 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:16,000 Where's Ed Kranepool's autograph? And Captain Bob's steering wheel? 66 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:21,600 Gone. But look at the bright side, half this joint is yours. 67 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:28,200 Give my partner a cappuccino. I've got to go be a boss. 68 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,500 Goat-cheese pizza? 69 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,300 Thank you, Jesus! 70 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:02,500 Cute shot, Antony. Cesar Mario. Antony Mario. 71 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:07,700 - The circus clowns. - Why not do the auction house? 72 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:12,000 I don't like to commit a crime 24 hours after leaving the joint. 73 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:17,900 It's very simple. The safe's on the 7th floor. Put the stuff in here. 74 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:23,800 - Easy. Your brother could do it. - Yeah, I could ... 75 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:28,700 Hawk, you're the best. Only you can do this job. 76 00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:32,800 Don't tell me you want to go straight. 77 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,700 If the Mario brothers weren't a tough New Jersey crime family, - 78 00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:43,200 - I'd say kiss my ass. You can just slurp my butt. 79 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:50,000 - Wine for you lovely ladies? - Beat it, Tommy. 80 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:53,300 Enough! 81 00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:59,300 You don't do that auction house job, I'm going to put you on trial. 82 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:03,900 And there'll be no bailiff. Understand? 83 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,400 Get him out of here. 84 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:30,300 - "Witchcraft" ... "Night and Day". - Sinatra. 5 minutes, 12 seconds. 85 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,900 - "Hit the Road, Jack." - Where are my pliers? 86 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:39,300 - Check the bar. - 5 minutes, 15 seconds. 87 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,500 How could you take down Captain Bob's steering wheel? 88 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:50,100 Don't you remember the night he came in with this thing? 89 00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:54,600 Come here. We've got a nasty little safe on the 7th floor. 90 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:59,400 - Simpson? What's the mechanism? - 71 . 91 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:05,000 The last time I went to bat, Simpson only made a 40. 92 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:10,600 But I'm not worried about the safe, it's the guards. 93 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:15,100 - And the video surveillance. - I have a plan. 94 00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:20,400 - It's a great plan. - What the hell am I doing? 95 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:27,200 I'm getting ready to rob some horse with you. 96 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:32,000 I should be looking in the want ads for a job. 97 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,300 We're moving too fast. I'm putting out fire with kerosene. 98 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,700 - What's that? - 5 seconds. My record's 18. 99 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:46,400 You think this is some kind of fucking joke. 100 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:04,600 How many seconds ... on the thumb cuffs? 101 00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:09,000 Not counting the bitching and whining, I'll say eight. 102 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:15,800 - They will make you do this job. - There goes my rehabilitation. 103 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,800 - You think you've still got it? - Yes ... that's what I'm afraid of. 104 00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:27,800 - "l Only Have Eyes for You." - I didn't know you cared. 105 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,800 - 3 minutes, 22 seconds. - "Xanadu." 106 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,800 - 4 minutes, 19 seconds. - "Star Spangled Banner." 107 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:41,900 - Hi ... 7 minutes, 17 seconds. - You're full of shit! 108 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:47,900 - I should be out getting laid. - Come on, it's showtime. 109 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:53,200 This sign says no horseplay in the pool area. 110 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,800 This isn't horseplay, it's a major felony. 111 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,500 Come on, Grandpa. 112 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,600 Give me one good reason why we're up here. 113 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:40,000 I can give you two: Antony Mario and Cesar Mario. 114 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:44,200 They'll cut off our balls if we don't do the job. 115 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,700 Have you had dinner tonight? This rope only holds 900 pounds. 116 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:52,900 - Stop fooling around! - I'm not fooling around. 117 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,500 - Pick me up! - All right. 118 00:15:56,700 --> 00:16:00,200 I wish you'd lay off the pasta. 119 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,700 What are you doing? 120 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:14,000 Covering our tracks. We leave through the basement. 121 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,400 - What? - I'd better make a bigger hole. 122 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:31,100 Don't worry, I'm wearing my girdle. 123 00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:01,400 673 Wongs in the phone book. 124 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:06,100 That's a lot of Wong numbers. Look up Chin. 125 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,900 - Have you got a key? - No. 126 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,500 Just checking. 127 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,800 - They record everything here. - I can see that. 128 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,300 I thought you said you had a plan. 129 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:58,400 Jerry, check out Big Stan. 130 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,200 Watch this. 131 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,900 Big Stan! 132 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:15,400 We'll rewind and replay. The guards will be watching a rerun. 133 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:21,100 - They'll miss tonight's episode. - Good plan, junior. 134 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:27,200 - We've got about five minutes. - 5:32. "Swingin' on a Star." 135 00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:32,400 They invented something while you were inside. It's called a watch. 136 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,200 One, two ... 137 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:42,200 - You got the horse head? - I just got out of jail. 138 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,800 I don't get it. There's that little blue chair. 139 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,500 - All I wanted was a cappuccino. - Snap out of it! 140 00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:56,800 - Check out screen two. - Hey, that's us. 141 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,200 The recorders! 142 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:03,300 - I hold you responsible. - Let's take it home! 143 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:28,000 - Take the back way. - Keep those ideas coming. 144 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,600 Come on! 145 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:40,400 - Go! Go! - Come on. 146 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,400 I'm glad we covered our tracks! 147 00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:51,400 I'm not as fat as that guard, am l? 148 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,500 You're slender compared to him. 149 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,300 Come on, Slim Jim. 150 00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:15,400 - Hawk gets the chair of honor! - Good job. Not pretty, but good. 151 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,600 All this trouble for a horse. 152 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:24,500 I may not know art, but I know what I like. 153 00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:30,000 When is this Buckingham Palace motherfucker getting here? 154 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,800 Any minute now, Mr. Gates. 155 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:42,000 - Sorry, Jeeves. - May l? 156 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:49,100 Exquisite! Leonardo da Vinci's last commission for the Duke of Milan. 157 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:55,300 - Irreplaceable. - Hey, Mr. French ... 158 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:01,600 Yes! 159 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:06,500 I stuck my neck out getting this for you Limey bastards. 160 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,500 Where's my cut? 161 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,000 So much for his cut. 162 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,200 Forgive my dry British humor. 163 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,400 I think Gates promised Hawk a cut, too. 164 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,900 - Are you taking the Concorde back? - Always. 165 00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:43,400 I collect the frequent-flyer points. 166 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,900 Ta-ta, Hudson Hawk. 167 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,700 - Yo, Five-Tone. - Did I miss anything? 168 00:23:53,900 --> 00:24:00,100 You always ask me that. Gates just got himself killed. 169 00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:05,200 I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at the Ford Theatre and asked her that. 170 00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:14,700 - You should get this looked at. - Gates was killed? 171 00:24:14,900 --> 00:24:21,200 The Butler did it. He took Mr. Ed and busted it over Gates' head. 172 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,700 He said it was made by Leonardo da Vinci. 173 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:32,000 I consider it to be the prize of tonight's equestrian auction. 174 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:36,300 - Horse things. - All right, Mr. PBS, you got me. 175 00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:40,800 Morning edition. It says two thieves attempted to steal it. 176 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,100 But three brave guards saved it. 177 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:49,000 Attempted? I didn't want to steal it, but I do have my pride. 178 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,800 - I don't understand. - Forget it. 179 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,400 I'm tired of this. Cops, mafia, butlers ... 180 00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:01,300 Stealing things that aren't stolen. It's all too goddamn peculiar. 181 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,700 How much does a new tuxedo cost? 182 00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:14,100 A fine example of Florentine bronze. Who will start at $140,000? 183 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,200 140,000 ... 160,000 ... 184 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:27,200 200 ... 20 ... 40 ... 185 00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:33,400 250,000! 186 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:38,200 250,000 ... 60 ... 70 ... 80 ... 187 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:43,900 90 ... 300,000 ... 310 ... Sold! 188 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:50,200 After all these years, I still get goose bumps at these auctions. 189 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:55,000 The paintings, the sculptures ... and other things. 190 00:25:55,200 --> 00:26:01,700 Pretentious vultures who never even look at what they're buying. 191 00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:06,500 - Auctions are disgusting. - I couldn't agree more. Savages! 192 00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:09,900 Lot 15 ... 193 00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:14,400 An equestrian piece attributed to the Cellini school. 194 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:20,200 Who will start at $250,000? 195 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:26,600 280,000. Thank you, sir. 320 ... 340 ... 196 00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:35,100 No more on 340,000? Sold once, twice ... Sold! 197 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,000 And finally, lot number 17. 198 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:44,400 Thought to be lost in the war ... and again last night. 199 00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:51,000 The da Vinci Sforza. The jewel of the sale. Fantastic. 200 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,900 Is looking like a constipated warthog part of the job here? 201 00:26:56,100 --> 00:26:59,800 ... Dr. Anna Baralgi of the Vatican. 202 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,800 Some of us warthogs are more constipated than others. 203 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:33,700 Perfection! The Vatican extends its jealousy to the lucky bidder. 204 00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:39,400 Thank you, Doctor. We'll begin at $20 million. 205 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:44,000 - Thank you, sir. 20.5 ... - Waldo! 206 00:27:44,100 --> 00:27:46,500 100 million clams! 207 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:51,700 $100 million to Mr. Darwin Mayflower. 208 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:59,700 100 million and one, Waldo! 209 00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:04,300 Fantastic! $100 million and one. 210 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:10,700 - Outbid by mine own wench! - Don't hate me, baby. 211 00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:19,600 Any other bids? Going once ... 212 00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:28,200 Going twice ... 213 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,100 Gone! 214 00:28:55,800 --> 00:29:00,200 - You didn't have to do that. - It was nothing. 215 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,600 No, you didn't have to tackle me and rip my dress. 216 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,100 Just kidding. Thanks for saving me. 217 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,400 - Why was that guard chasing you? - Because danger is my middle ... 218 00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:33,000 - Why couldn't you just play along? - Classy way of covering our tracks. 219 00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:37,200 That auctioneer ought to be landing at La Guardia soon. 220 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,800 Subtlety is not one of our strong points. 221 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,600 Get the fuck out! 222 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,800 Menthol! 223 00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:12,000 This is a brand new tuxedo. 224 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:16,200 Mister, are you gonna die? 225 00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:26,400 Happy sailing, Hawk. 226 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:31,200 How am I driving? Call 1 -800-l'm-Gonna-Fuckin'-Die! 227 00:30:32,900 --> 00:30:35,000 Toll booth! 228 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,300 Exact change! 229 00:30:55,500 --> 00:31:00,200 - Make a road kill. - Up yours, Cesar! 230 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,700 Cesar! Antony! 231 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:20,700 Are you okay? 232 00:31:31,100 --> 00:31:33,200 MY NAM E IS KIT KAT 233 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:46,400 - What's the matter with you? - The name's Snickers. 234 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:53,000 Almond Joy. Get it? Candy bars. It's better than when we signed up. 235 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:59,800 Our code names were diseases. I was called Chlamydia for a year. 236 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,200 - My name's Butterfinger. - No shit. 237 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:26,000 You like the company's new look? I call them the MTV. I .A. 238 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,600 George, you promised no old CIA, new CIA jokes. 239 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:37,000 Punks! They think the Cold War has something to do with penguins. 240 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:44,000 - Don't I know you? - Yes. I was bald, with a beard. 241 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:49,600 - Don't you recognize me? - My high school science teacher? 242 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,600 I'm the guy who tricked you into robbing the government installation. 243 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,000 George Kaplan. 244 00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:05,400 - I'm not the type to hold a grudge. - I needed you as a diversion. 245 00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:10,200 I guess I was just jealous. You were one hell of a thief. 246 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:16,800 - Why the reunion? - I want to make it up to you. 247 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,300 To quote the late Karen Carpenter: "We've only just begun." 248 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,500 3 minutes, 4 seconds. You're a little late. 249 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,700 - I quit stealing. - My employer wants a meeting. 250 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:35,500 - Your employer? The President? - No. Somebody powerful. 251 00:33:35,700 --> 00:33:41,200 - Good God! What's that? - I'm not falling for that old gag. 252 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:47,600 - Shucks, I guess not. - Now? 253 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,600 Yes, now. 254 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:50,700 - No way. - Welcome to Rome, sir. 255 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,800 So Hawk ... what do you think of the vehicle? 256 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:19,100 Why did you duck at the auction house? 257 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:25,300 What can I say? I'm the villain. Initially I wasn't sure we'd meet, - 258 00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:31,100 - but then I thought, what the heck. You come highly recommended. 259 00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:38,100 Kaplan and the Mario brothers were hired to find me a cat burglar. 260 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:54,600 I've got the power! 261 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:03,800 Ladies and gentlemen of the board and Minerva! Here's Hudson Hawk! 262 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,000 Minerva! 263 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,700 Hello. Bunny, ball. 264 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:21,800 Hawk, we've got you clothes, a great hotel and 250,000 lira per day. 265 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,200 That's $200 a day. Veto, Darwin. 266 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:31,000 I guess we see who wears the penis in this family. 267 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,500 Somebody chain this convict up. 268 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:41,000 This might be hard to believe, but I'm just a regular joe. 269 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:49,300 I just want to be happy. And that comes from achieving goals. 270 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:54,000 But when you've made your first billion by the age of 19, - 271 00:36:54,200 --> 00:37:01,700 - it's hard to find new ones. But finally, I've got a new goal: 272 00:37:01,900 --> 00:37:05,600 World domination! 273 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,000 Shut up! Bunny, quit that. 274 00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:20,400 - Bunny, ball. - Bunny's got today's balls. 275 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:26,500 - Bad Bunny. - Bunny, you weren't that bad. 276 00:37:26,700 --> 00:37:31,200 Concorde me back home, folks. Put me in jail. I don't care. 277 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:35,400 You go back to jail and you won't be alone. 278 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:40,400 You'll have a guinea barkeep cellmate to keep you company. 279 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:45,400 You're young enough to still enjoy shanking child molesters ... 280 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:54,200 But Tommy Five-Tone will only get out to attend his own funeral. 281 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,700 Depressing? 282 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:09,100 - You don't have any proof. - The magic word. 283 00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:13,100 It's veja du. Something you wish never happened. 284 00:38:13,300 --> 00:38:17,600 Kaplan's CIA candy bars shot the entire operation. 285 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,700 They put the fake horse in the safe while you were escaping. 286 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,500 - Yikes! - Damn Fotomat assholes! 287 00:38:29,700 --> 00:38:34,300 - It's a good shot of you, Minerva. - You're going to hit a church. 288 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:39,800 We want you to steal da Vinci's sketchbook. The Codex. 289 00:38:40,700 --> 00:38:45,600 The Vatican. I'm robbing the freakin' Vatican. 290 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,700 The nuns at St. Agnes predicted this. 291 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:54,800 What do they call you guys? lg and Ook? 292 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,400 - Hey. - Buon giorno. 293 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:27,600 I'm being blackmailed into robbing the Vatican. 294 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:33,300 - I don't ... - Just keep an eye on all the art. 295 00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:27,200 Courtney, stop it. 296 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:41,900 Leonardo was a painter and an inventor. 297 00:40:42,100 --> 00:40:47,500 He drew together science and art ... that is most incredible. 298 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,800 Tough guy ... what are you doing here? 299 00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:01,400 Everytime I get around you my heart starts beating really fast. 300 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:07,400 The da Vinci Codex is here in the Vatican. 301 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:12,300 - And that's where it will stay. - That's what you think. 302 00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,600 When are you done? 303 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:19,200 He predicted the airplane, the submarine, the bicycle, - 304 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,600 - the helicopter and even the tank. 305 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:26,900 - These more dangerous designs ... - Pokey! 306 00:41:40,300 --> 00:41:44,000 - Something wrong? - Come with me. 307 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:52,400 - Is that smoke bad for you? - This way. Through here. 308 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,700 Who are you going to blame for what you did back there? 309 00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:05,800 The elephant. 310 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:11,200 - What is this? - A postal subway. 311 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:16,100 - Can I get to Times Square? - The Pope takes his mail seriously. 312 00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:22,400 - He delivers up to ten at night. - I see. 313 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:27,100 Actually, I don't see. What do you do? 314 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:32,600 I do a lot of things, but I don't steal stuffed elephants. 315 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:38,600 - My life's pretty boring. - Yeah. Mine, too. 316 00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:43,600 You want to have dinner with me tonight? A nice boring dinner. 317 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:49,500 - Anecdotes about dead Italians. - I'll bring my entire repertoire. 318 00:42:53,500 --> 00:42:59,400 - I'll bring my entourage. - Enzo's around the corner. 10:30? 319 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,800 10:30. Hey, thanks. 320 00:43:10,300 --> 00:43:16,500 - Father, he's up to something. - Report upstairs at once. 321 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:33,600 - Did he mention the Mayflowers? - No, but he's after the Codex. 322 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:37,600 The vanity of this man Hudson Hawk. 323 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,900 The Vatican has foiled the advances of pirates and terrorists. 324 00:43:42,100 --> 00:43:45,800 We won't lie down for some schmuck from New Jersey. 325 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:51,200 And ... must you flirt with him so effectively? 326 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,700 - That's the only way. - You work for our organization. 327 00:43:55,800 --> 00:44:01,900 You're put in awkward situations. Hudson Hawk is an evil man. 328 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:27,500 Operator, I'd like to call overseas to a New York number. 329 00:44:33,900 --> 00:44:37,100 Thank you for calling AT&T. 330 00:44:37,300 --> 00:44:41,900 Thank God! 212-555-1989. 331 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,800 Pick up the phone. 332 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,100 Pick it up, Tommy. 333 00:44:57,300 --> 00:45:03,400 The black thing on the desk. Come on, Tommy. 334 00:45:17,100 --> 00:45:21,500 You want some more, Jumbo? I'll kick your ass. 335 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,300 Hawk ... 336 00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:31,600 - Enjoying Italy? - Yeah. 337 00:45:31,700 --> 00:45:35,700 I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Rome. 338 00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:40,000 I did my first bare-handed strangulation here. 339 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,700 - A Communist politician. - You big softie. 340 00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:47,300 I miss communism! 341 00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:52,800 The Red Threat. People were scared. 342 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,600 The Agency had some respect. And I got laid every night. 343 00:45:58,900 --> 00:46:03,900 - Brief him, Snickers. - The Mayflowers are in a hurry. 344 00:46:04,100 --> 00:46:10,600 - You're doing the Vatican tonight. - I've got a date tonight. 345 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:15,800 "Grapple, biker's bottle, pocket fisherman, olive oil, 100 stamps." 346 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:21,400 - This is going to be some date. - Snickers, make that list happen. 347 00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:28,100 We're not like the Mayflowers. We're sore losers. 348 00:46:28,300 --> 00:46:34,600 We blow up space shuttles for breakfast. So behave. 349 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,100 Ciao. 350 00:46:37,300 --> 00:46:40,600 Hey, old man! Yeah, you! 351 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:47,500 You come back here alone and I'll kick your ass. 352 00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:00,000 "Beware the blue wire"? 353 00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,700 - Mr. Hawk, I got your stamps. - Good, Yogi. 354 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:15,000 TO THE VATICAN MUSEUM VATICAN CITY 355 00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:42,600 - This spaghetti looks good. - Just like my mother used to make. 356 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,900 I'd better do my rounds. 357 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:03,200 Kit Kat, how did you know about that blue wire? 358 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:25,100 Control, something's going on. 359 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:32,700 Jesus Christ! I knew I heard something. 360 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:34,800 - I was afraid you weren't coming. - Am I late? 361 00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:46,800 You look very nice. You really do. What? 362 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:53,300 - I am the waiter, sir. - Pasta with mushrooms, please. 363 00:51:54,500 --> 00:51:59,200 - And bring me a bottle of ketchup. - You heard him. 364 00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:05,400 Ketchup with pasta. Stupid American. 365 00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:13,000 Come on, Pierre, read my lips. Steak burger. French fries. 366 00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:19,200 - This is France. - Actually, it's Italy. 367 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,600 To be in Paris and in love. 368 00:52:27,100 --> 00:52:31,400 They had the worst ketchup when I was in prison. 369 00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:37,000 - Prison? - I was a warden. 370 00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:42,500 - How long were you in? - Well, I never saw "ET." 371 00:52:42,700 --> 00:52:48,700 You were in the joint. Doing hard time. 372 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:53,800 It's funny, but that excites me. 373 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:59,200 - I have a thing for sinners. - Well, I have a thing for sinning. 374 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:04,600 - Where'd you get the hawk? - In New York. 375 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,600 And the name Hudson Hawk? 376 00:53:07,700 --> 00:53:13,900 The hawk is a slang word for the cold winter wind. 377 00:53:14,100 --> 00:53:18,200 I grew up in Hoboken on the Hudson River. 378 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:23,200 - Hudson River. - Hudson Hawk. And these? 379 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:28,500 I fell on some chickens. 380 00:53:28,700 --> 00:53:32,600 Does it hurt? Maybe I can make it feel better. 381 00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:36,000 Okay, see what you can do. 382 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,600 Don't tickle me. 383 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:56,700 I've got to tell you something. I'd better whisper it to you. 384 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,200 I can't do this! 385 00:54:04,900 --> 00:54:08,200 - What? - It's been a long time. 386 00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:13,800 It's been a long time for me, too. This has been a very slow decade. 387 00:54:15,300 --> 00:54:20,000 If I don't make love every 10 years, I get a little cranky. 388 00:54:20,900 --> 00:54:24,200 I'm not sure if I remember how to kiss girls. 389 00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:27,800 Not that I ever kiss guys. 390 00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,800 The Vatican has been robbed! 391 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:41,800 - Catholic girls are scary. - Somebody robbed the Vatican. 392 00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:49,000 It's not what you think ... 393 00:54:49,100 --> 00:54:54,400 You went and did it in less than one day of planning. 394 00:54:54,600 --> 00:55:01,400 First the Sforza, then the Codex. Is the Colosseum next in line? 395 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:08,400 Did the devil make you do it? Or did Darwin and Minerva Mayflower? 396 00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:17,100 - What's going on in there? - You want me to rape them? 397 00:55:18,300 --> 00:55:23,000 Just read your book, Butterfinger. 398 00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:32,700 "Not in a boat. Not on a train. Not with a goat. Not in the rain." 399 00:55:32,900 --> 00:55:35,000 To yourself! 400 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:41,800 The Mayflowers have a peculiar interest in the da Vinci pieces. 401 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,800 The Sforza was a fake, but I was told not to denounce it. 402 00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:50,600 - Does everybody know more than me? - You didn't know? 403 00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:55,200 I'm just some guy who's good at swiping stuff. 404 00:55:55,400 --> 00:56:01,000 Who knew that would lead to this? I've even got the CIA involved now. 405 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:06,800 Here's looking at you, kid. 406 00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:12,300 - This is strange cappuccino. - That'll be the ethyl chloride. 407 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:23,600 Why didn't you tell me the hit was tonight? I want to see Kaplan. 408 00:56:32,100 --> 00:56:38,800 Meddlesome Vatican organization! Way to go, Anna! 409 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:43,200 Hudson Hawk told me about you and the Mayflowers. 410 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:48,300 Basically you're all part of the same car pool. 411 00:56:48,500 --> 00:56:54,400 If that was so, Almond Joy would've killed you once she had the Codex. 412 00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:58,700 No, when the Mayflowers find out we have the Codex, - 413 00:56:58,900 --> 00:57:03,900 - they'll want to make a deal. They buy the Codex and we bust them. 414 00:57:04,100 --> 00:57:08,700 - What happens to Hudson Hawk? - I wouldn't worry about him. 415 00:57:08,900 --> 00:57:13,800 He's going to be in very good hands, but you look really tired. 416 00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:18,200 You should go back to Rome and get some sleep. Kit Kat. 417 00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:24,800 See that Miss Baragli gets home safely. 418 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:29,200 Arrivederci, baby. 419 00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:36,400 - Why didn't you let me kill her? - Close call. 420 00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:41,000 But she's our only link to the Vatican organization. 421 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,700 Bunny Mayflower! 422 00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:52,900 Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 423 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:57,600 - Hit me with your best shot. - I betrayed a man. 424 00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:04,300 - A good man. A thief. - Anna, what are you trying to say? 425 00:58:04,500 --> 00:58:09,700 The CIA have double-crossed us. Hudson Hawk is not a bad man. 426 00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:14,700 He came into a world where crime is a legitimate business tactic, - 427 00:58:14,900 --> 00:58:19,100 - but he knew right from wrong ... and we kind of messed around. 428 00:58:19,300 --> 00:58:25,800 My God! That is terrible! Messed around! 429 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:31,700 17 Hail Marys and five minutes outside. 430 00:58:31,900 --> 00:58:39,000 So Hudson Hawk is not willingly working for the Mayflowers, - 431 00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:43,100 - but Kaplan and the candy bars are. 432 00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:47,600 The CIA is using me to keep us away from Mayflower. 433 00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:52,200 The Pope warned me never to trust the CIA. 434 00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:57,900 If the Mayflowers get control of the gold machine, we'll all be ruined. 435 00:58:58,100 --> 00:59:02,000 Lord, help us! 436 00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:07,700 What of Tommy Five-Tone? Find out where his loyalty lies. 437 00:59:07,900 --> 00:59:12,400 But remember your vows to God, as well as your mission to the world. 438 00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:17,400 Yes, your Eminence. Just say God go with me. 439 00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,800 God go with you, Sister. 440 00:59:22,700 --> 00:59:26,200 Ball! 441 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:30,500 - Ball! - Jolly good shot, sir. 442 00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,200 - Hudson Hawk! - Hudson Hawk! 443 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:39,800 You cease to amaze me, convict. You are a terrible cat burglar! 444 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:43,600 Haven't you ever seen David Niven? Tiptoe in. Tiptoe out. 445 00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:48,600 - Like a cat, one would say. - I could take it back. 446 00:59:49,100 --> 00:59:52,500 - Let me do that. - I don't care. 447 01:00:01,100 --> 01:00:05,900 You two! There's nothing I hate more than failure! 448 01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:11,600 All you had to do was follow the Hawk. 449 01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:15,800 I suppose we'll just have to kill them. 450 01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,900 God, Minerva, I was just joking. 451 01:00:35,700 --> 01:00:38,600 - Get away from there. - Just browsing. 452 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:42,900 Don't hurt him. We need him for the final job. 453 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:48,700 Really? Don't hurt him? Even if he does this? 454 01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:55,200 Or what about this? Surely ... this must offend? 455 01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:01,800 Things are really heating up at the castle tonight. 456 01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:06,200 May I call you Minnie? You put your left foot in ... 457 01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:11,800 There is one part of your body you won't be needing for your next job. 458 01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:18,600 - I'll sing like Frankie Valli. - "Big Boys Don't Cry". 459 01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,800 3 minutes, 27 seconds. 460 01:01:25,900 --> 01:01:30,600 You start telling me what's going on or I won't move a muscle. 461 01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:35,500 - Treat me like an adult. - That's fair. Now go to your room. 462 01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,600 What? 463 01:01:45,300 --> 01:01:50,100 In one of your paws you've got a gold bar worth about $8,000. 464 01:01:50,300 --> 01:01:54,500 In the other, you've got cheap lead. 465 01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:59,300 Surely a master thief like you can tell the difference. 466 01:01:59,500 --> 01:02:05,200 Cool, isn't it? In weight and feel they're all but identical. 467 01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:09,500 On the periodic chart of elements they're one proton apart. 468 01:02:09,700 --> 01:02:14,700 Great minds worked for centuries to turn worthless into priceless. 469 01:02:14,900 --> 01:02:21,000 Alchemy is the business term of the 90's. 470 01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:25,000 I dumped some lira into research. 471 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:30,700 We came across a diary by one of da Vinci's assistants. 472 01:02:30,900 --> 01:02:35,100 The gold machine was detailed in it. 473 01:02:35,300 --> 01:02:39,000 Money isn't everything ... gold is! 474 01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:44,000 Fuck blue-chip stocks! Fuck junk bonds! 475 01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:49,600 Money will always be paper, but gold will always be gold! 476 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:53,700 We'll flood the market with so much gold - 477 01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:58,100 - that the very foundation of finance will lose its meaning. 478 01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:04,800 Brokers and economists will die from severe nervous breakdowns. 479 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:10,500 - Sounds like a party. - Financial empires will crumble. 480 01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:15,300 - Except yours. - 1992, baby. 481 01:03:15,500 --> 01:03:23,500 The European superpowers are meeting one business superpower. 482 01:03:23,700 --> 01:03:27,600 The last ingredient in the recipe is da Vinci's model of a helicopter. 483 01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:35,800 - On display in the Louvre, Paris. - Is there a Louvre in Wisconsin? 484 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:41,200 - The security will be overwhelming. - 12 guards ... 485 01:03:41,300 --> 01:03:45,900 Time out. I choose not to accept the assignment. 486 01:03:46,100 --> 01:03:48,800 - Put me in jail. - Jail? 487 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:54,300 Our foot soldiers will blow your brains out! Bunny, ball. 488 01:03:54,500 --> 01:04:00,600 I'll torture you. I'll kill your friends ... even your prom date. 489 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:05,200 Patty-Jo Biarsky? I can get you an address on that. 490 01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:10,000 I think we can solve this. 491 01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:21,000 I'll kill you all! That butler. That little dog. I'm sick of this. 492 01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:30,900 I hated cigarettes till I saw my first no smoking sign. 493 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:34,600 Keep off the grass? Let's play soccer. 494 01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:43,000 The only law I cared for was friendship. I broke that one, too. 495 01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:47,200 I just don't think we should leave them in there alone. 496 01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:52,000 The pasta-slurping guinea will keep Hawk in line. 497 01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:58,400 This Gates, CIA, Mayflower, da Vinci thing seemed like a sweet deal. 498 01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:03,900 Visit foreign lands, take their treasures ... 499 01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:08,700 It's better than playing darts with M BA's at the bar. 500 01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:13,400 But I didn't think they were going to be using me to use you. 501 01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:18,000 I'm sorry, Eddie. 502 01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:22,500 There's only one way out of this, - 503 01:05:22,700 --> 01:05:27,500 - and it's going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. 504 01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:34,200 - They'll talk about being buddies. - You've got to love male bonding. 505 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:48,500 You fucked my freedom for a lousy job? 506 01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:03,400 You know something, Eddie? You hit like a girl! 507 01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:07,100 I was only kidding. 508 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:16,800 Tommy! No! 509 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:37,300 - Plan B, George. - Plan B? 510 01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:09,700 No sweat, Tommy. You just made the biggest mistake of my life. 511 01:07:09,900 --> 01:07:14,800 I know I made a bad call. It was so beautiful. 512 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:19,700 When those blanks went off, everybody freaked. 513 01:07:19,900 --> 01:07:26,000 - Ketchup. Heinz 57. - You fucked me for a lousy job? 514 01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:31,900 You're lucky I don't hit women. If you even are a woman ... 515 01:07:32,100 --> 01:07:38,700 I work for a Vatican humanitarian organization. The CIA conned me. 516 01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:41,900 - I love you. - I care for you. 517 01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:45,100 - What's this? - When did you get that? 518 01:07:45,300 --> 01:07:50,200 - When you handed over the Codex. - It's from the gold machine. 519 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:56,100 - They're close to making it work. - Now they've lost your services ... 520 01:07:56,300 --> 01:08:01,400 They won't be able to steal the third piece of the crystal. 521 01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:06,800 Why do they leave all these rocks and shit laying in their back yard? 522 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:11,200 - They're called ruins, Eddie. - Good name. 523 01:08:16,700 --> 01:08:21,000 He had this look on his face when we caught him. 524 01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:26,600 I never saw a look like it. He was so embarrassed. 525 01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:30,400 Won't the CIA check out this place? 526 01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:35,000 No, they fell for it. They think ... Hawk's been arrested. 527 01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:40,300 Kaplan and the candy bars were seen boarding a plane. 528 01:08:40,500 --> 01:08:44,100 Will you quit worrying about it? 529 01:08:44,300 --> 01:08:50,500 - Okay, guys, it's time for bed. - I couldn't agree more. 530 01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:59,800 - You're going to sleep here. - Where are you going to sleep? 531 01:08:59,900 --> 01:09:05,000 - I'll get you some sheets. - Yeah, we'll get you some sheets. 532 01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:10,500 - It's a very special night. - Yes, it was. 533 01:09:10,700 --> 01:09:14,900 - Is. - Was. You don't know about me. 534 01:09:15,100 --> 01:09:20,900 I know some things about you, and about me, and about that bed. 535 01:09:21,100 --> 01:09:25,300 - This is not the time, Hudson. - Look ... 536 01:09:25,500 --> 01:09:30,300 - How about a late-night cappuccino? - The machine has poisonous foam. 537 01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:35,400 - Yeah ... I remember. - Good night. 538 01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,700 Good night. 539 01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:48,100 Don't say another word. 540 01:09:48,300 --> 01:09:53,700 - It's a very special night ... - Very funny. 541 01:10:14,500 --> 01:10:19,200 Good morning. The license plates on the police van had a Vatican prefix. 542 01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:25,000 I'm losing respect for you guys. You so nearly got away with it. 543 01:10:25,700 --> 01:10:31,500 - Where's Anna? - It's nice of you to drop by. 544 01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:35,300 Come back later with some croissants. 545 01:10:35,500 --> 01:10:39,800 I really wish I had the glib repartee you guys have. 546 01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:43,800 But I don't, so I'll paralyze you. AJ. 547 01:10:45,900 --> 01:10:52,100 Curare darts. Instantaneous loss of all physical control below the neck. 548 01:10:52,300 --> 01:10:55,900 Ed! I'll rip their tongues out! 549 01:10:56,100 --> 01:11:03,000 Come here, you chicken shits! My head against your head. 550 01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:07,500 Is this how I go out? Like a lump of frozen Play-Doh. 551 01:11:07,700 --> 01:11:12,400 - Keep laughing, Jumbo. - You made it come out of my nose. 552 01:11:12,600 --> 01:11:17,900 This is no way to get me to rob the Louvre. 553 01:11:18,100 --> 01:11:25,100 The Louvre is yesterday's news, or should I say this morning's. 554 01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:29,800 There was a lack of nuance. We didn't wear black or sing. 555 01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:34,400 We weren't being judged on neatness, only results. 556 01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:38,800 - Damn it! Yanks lose again. - How are the Mets doing? 557 01:11:42,500 --> 01:11:46,400 You may be the fairest cat burglars of them all, - 558 01:11:46,500 --> 01:11:51,200 - but if you weren't such snobs, the Louvre guards might still be alive. 559 01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:55,900 But that's irrelevant now. 560 01:12:01,900 --> 01:12:05,400 You're irrelevant now. 561 01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:11,300 Tonight at the castle da Vinci ... we make gold! 562 01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:16,200 - Rise and shine, sleepy heads. - Hi, Anna. 563 01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:19,700 Mr. Kaplan, give me the crystal. 564 01:12:19,900 --> 01:12:24,100 - Anna Baragli! - Came to play! 565 01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:30,100 Anna, you're not going to shoot me or anybody else. 566 01:12:30,300 --> 01:12:35,200 - Shoot! - I read your dossier, Sister. 567 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:43,400 - Why did she call you sister? - I'm sorry. I meant to tell you. 568 01:12:43,500 --> 01:12:49,200 - He didn't know! - Hawk likes a nun. 569 01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:58,500 - Those better be tears, Tommy. - They are. 570 01:12:58,700 --> 01:13:03,000 - It doesn't mean I don't love you. - No, that's your job! 571 01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:09,600 - You probably love Butterfinger. - Yeah, in a weird Catholic way. 572 01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:13,800 But you ... you ... 573 01:13:16,300 --> 01:13:23,000 Miss Baralgi's da Vinci expertise keeps her alive, but you guys ... 574 01:13:26,800 --> 01:13:30,100 A souvenir. Ciao. 575 01:13:32,900 --> 01:13:37,600 - Later, guys. - Easy for you to say. 576 01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:42,600 Guys, the good news is you'll be unparalyzed in about 2 minutes. 577 01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:48,000 But you'll only have five seconds to defuse the bombs. 578 01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:58,700 I'll just shoot one in the kitchen for good measure. 579 01:14:02,900 --> 01:14:05,600 More paralysis! 580 01:14:07,900 --> 01:14:10,600 - You can move? - Yeah. 581 01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:15,400 This is what I get for darting a nun. 582 01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:21,200 - Get this thing off my head! - He's about to have a bad migraine. 583 01:14:21,300 --> 01:14:24,300 Maybe it was a dud. 584 01:14:39,700 --> 01:14:45,900 It must be the curare. It has certain side effects. 585 01:14:46,100 --> 01:14:49,800 I'm a dolphin who's never tasted melted snow. 586 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:56,700 The apprentice's diary explains how the pieces of crystal fit together. 587 01:14:58,200 --> 01:15:04,100 If you could decipher the code, we'd be very grateful. 588 01:15:04,300 --> 01:15:08,500 What does the color blue taste like? Bobo knows. 589 01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:14,800 I must speak with the dolphins now. 590 01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:25,500 Just shoot her. Anybody. This is supposed to be torture, not therapy. 591 01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:32,300 The old man said left at the brook for the castle. 592 01:15:33,800 --> 01:15:37,000 - Quit pushing. - I'm not pushing. 593 01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:43,000 - Count of three? - Why not just go now? 594 01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:47,300 Who are you? Bob Hope? What's with the golf bag? 595 01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:50,200 I've got a plan. 596 01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:11,000 Let me ask you something. How do I look? 597 01:16:11,200 --> 01:16:16,000 - You look great. Are you kidding? - No, I want you to tell me. 598 01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:21,600 We're hanging off a castle and you're asking me how you look? 599 01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:26,600 You look gorgeous. Like Zorro. 600 01:16:34,900 --> 01:16:42,100 - A life of service comes to this. - The dolphin is dead. 601 01:16:42,300 --> 01:16:47,800 - Come on, you bitch! - I'm not a good damsel in a dress. 602 01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:52,200 You must pay the rent. But I can't pay the rent. 603 01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:59,500 A damsel in distress has some Dudley Do-Right coming to save her. 604 01:16:59,700 --> 01:17:05,200 It ain't going to happen. Hudson Hawk is dead. 605 01:17:14,100 --> 01:17:19,400 I'm going to use the seven iron. Six iron . .? 606 01:17:19,600 --> 01:17:21,900 Thank you. Fore! 607 01:17:23,300 --> 01:17:27,000 Four? Did anybody hear something? 608 01:17:29,700 --> 01:17:34,000 - Can you believe it? - I heard something. 609 01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:39,100 - Did you set the timer? - No. 610 01:17:39,300 --> 01:17:44,500 Come on, Butterfinger. Kit Kat, guard the Mayflowers with your life. 611 01:17:50,700 --> 01:17:55,000 Kit Kat, are you really going to guard us with your life? 612 01:18:01,100 --> 01:18:03,500 I ALWAYS LIKED YOU 613 01:18:03,700 --> 01:18:08,400 A double crossbow for a double-cross. 614 01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:12,100 Catch you later, baby. 615 01:18:16,300 --> 01:18:21,500 - Why did you do that? - Thou shalt not share. 616 01:18:22,700 --> 01:18:26,800 It's in the hole! He's got to be happy with that one. 617 01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:30,400 2.5 minutes to save Anna. 3.5 to save the world. 618 01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:34,800 6:00. "Side by Side." 619 01:18:52,900 --> 01:18:58,700 Let's go down this way ... Maybe we'd better go this way. 620 01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:05,300 Okay ... this way. 621 01:19:05,500 --> 01:19:09,800 Hey, I'll take the front nine. You take the back nine. 622 01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:14,400 - We'll meet back at the clubhouse. - Looking good, man. 623 01:19:15,700 --> 01:19:21,000 How are you doing? Three ... two ... one ... 624 01:19:23,500 --> 01:19:29,900 Go in. Brief the Mayflowers on the current situation. 625 01:19:30,100 --> 01:19:32,500 You got it, coach. 626 01:19:58,200 --> 01:20:00,600 I'll take that, sir. 627 01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:20,800 Coach, it looks bad. I think those Mayflowers set us up. 628 01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,700 Jumbo, we hardly knew you. 629 01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:39,600 Tell us what we want to know or I'll send you to heaven. 630 01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:43,300 If you see the big guy, tell him he's a loser. 631 01:20:43,500 --> 01:20:46,300 That's it! 632 01:20:56,700 --> 01:20:59,800 - That didn't hurt. - No? Try this. 633 01:21:09,400 --> 01:21:13,900 What do you say now, you centrally intelligent scumsickle? 634 01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:20,000 Getting old, George? 635 01:21:26,500 --> 01:21:31,000 Tommy, you New York Italian son of a bitch! 636 01:21:31,100 --> 01:21:37,200 You were hired as bait. Do you have an answer as to why you betrayed me? 637 01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:40,800 I've got five of them. 638 01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:45,200 One ... two ... three ... four ... 639 01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:48,700 Just one more! 640 01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:59,000 That didn't ... hurt. 641 01:22:04,200 --> 01:22:06,400 How do I stop this? 642 01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:10,800 My hat. 643 01:22:16,500 --> 01:22:21,400 You never fucked with nobody from Hoboken before. Anna! 644 01:22:21,600 --> 01:22:25,500 - We're supposed to be saving you. - I saved myself. 645 01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:30,300 - We still have to get the crystals. - They're right here, cowboy. 646 01:22:30,500 --> 01:22:35,300 - Eddie! - That sounds like Tommy. 647 01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:39,400 Alfred, I won't be needing the car anymore. 648 01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:43,400 Ta-ta! 649 01:22:54,400 --> 01:22:57,900 - Eddie! - My pension! 650 01:23:10,000 --> 01:23:13,600 - A friend of yours? - Dead! 651 01:23:25,400 --> 01:23:28,400 Hudson, look ... out. 652 01:23:44,900 --> 01:23:50,000 Anna! Hawk! You're probably wondering why you're still alive. 653 01:23:50,200 --> 01:23:57,600 We're still having a little problem putting this damn crystal together. 654 01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:01,000 Well, what are you waiting for? 655 01:24:09,300 --> 01:24:13,000 - Don't do it, Hudson. - Relax. 656 01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:16,800 Besides ... we don't have much choice, do we? 657 01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:48,500 Oh, Hawk ... don't ever change! 658 01:24:50,000 --> 01:24:57,400 Nice Hawk. Bad Hawk! 659 01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:11,700 Why is the world jam packed with such idiots? 660 01:25:11,900 --> 01:25:17,600 Every schmo has the fantasy that the planet revolves around them. 661 01:25:17,700 --> 01:25:21,800 When a car crash stops traffic, you say how can this happen to me. 662 01:25:21,900 --> 01:25:27,200 But for us this isn't a fantasy. It is a reality. 663 01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:35,100 If da Vinci was alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi. 664 01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:40,600 The project of his life is now the toy of mine. 665 01:25:40,700 --> 01:25:45,200 History, tradition, culture, are not concepts. 666 01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:49,300 They're trophies I keep in my den as paperweights. 667 01:25:49,500 --> 01:25:55,200 The chaos we'll cause with this machine will be our masterpiece. 668 01:25:55,400 --> 01:25:58,400 Go team, go! 669 01:25:59,100 --> 01:26:02,800 Go team, go! 670 01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:08,200 Yes! 671 01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:18,600 Now! 672 01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:33,200 Eureka, motherfucker! 673 01:26:33,400 --> 01:26:38,400 You should feel very good about yourself. 674 01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:43,800 What would happen if I didn't put that crystal together exactly right? 675 01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:50,300 Let's say I left out this piece of mirror here. Would that be bad? 676 01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,800 - Real bad. - Good. 677 01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:04,500 Minerva! 678 01:27:08,400 --> 01:27:10,900 Alfred! 679 01:27:27,200 --> 01:27:31,500 - Your turn. - How did it get to be my turn? 680 01:27:33,100 --> 01:27:35,800 Definitely your turn. 681 01:27:36,600 --> 01:27:41,400 - All right, stay out of the way. - Hudson ... 682 01:27:48,800 --> 01:27:51,300 Okay. 683 01:28:02,600 --> 01:28:05,900 - Thou shalt not kill! - Sorry. 684 01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:21,600 Stop helping me! 685 01:28:26,400 --> 01:28:29,400 Hey, Alfred ... 686 01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:36,100 You won't be attending that hat convention in July. 687 01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:42,800 - My turn? - Yeah. 688 01:28:45,600 --> 01:28:48,200 This dog now? 689 01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:54,100 Bunny, ball. 690 01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:02,200 Come on. 691 01:29:19,000 --> 01:29:22,600 Uncover my eyes ... Cover 'em up! 692 01:29:36,300 --> 01:29:39,600 Just hang on. 693 01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:06,400 Hi, kids! 694 01:30:16,100 --> 01:30:19,200 - Anna. - Yes, Hudson? 695 01:30:19,400 --> 01:30:22,200 - Can I ask you something? - Sure. 696 01:30:23,900 --> 01:30:29,200 - Will you play Nintendo with me? - I'd love to play with you. 697 01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:45,800 - What about your boss? - What boss? 698 01:30:46,000 --> 01:30:50,600 He wants me to keep an eye on you. 699 01:30:50,800 --> 01:30:55,600 - Yes. I've got criminal tendencies. - Can I buy you a cappuccino? 700 01:30:55,800 --> 01:30:59,800 - Can I give you a kiss? - Yes. 701 01:31:00,800 --> 01:31:05,300 - I just wish Tommy were here. - No way. 702 01:31:05,500 --> 01:31:09,300 - That's not very nice. - No way. 703 01:31:12,600 --> 01:31:17,900 - Did I miss anything? - You were in a car crash! 704 01:31:18,000 --> 01:31:20,500 Air bags! 705 01:31:20,700 --> 01:31:25,300 - You're supposed to be blown up. - A sprinkler system. 706 01:31:25,500 --> 01:31:30,800 - Can you fucking believe it? - Yeah ... that's what happened. 707 01:31:31,000 --> 01:31:35,200 - Drink your cappuccino. - Drink your coffee. 708 01:31:46,000 --> 01:31:50,700 With the world saved and the secrets of da Vinci protected, - 709 01:31:50,900 --> 01:31:53,800 - Eddie finally got his coffee.