1
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,355
(bell rings)

2
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:37,096
(woman) Everyone, please take
your seats. You heard the bell.

3
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,934
You know what it means.
Last week,

4
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:47,276
the assignment was
to write an essay about your family.

5
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:50,839
- Who they...
- (class) Are!

6
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,908
And what they...

7
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,250
(all) Mean to us!

8
00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:58,813
Excellent droning. So l want
everyone to take out their essays.

9
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:03,496
We're going to read them aloud
to the class right up here.

10
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:12,000
My mom says that me and my dad
have very healthy appetites.

11
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,802
My mom and dad are very religious.

12
00:01:14,874 --> 00:01:19,607
When they're in their bedroom at night,
l always hear them yelling, ''Jesus!''

13
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:25,640
My mom says my dad's eyes are brown
because he is so full of sh...

14
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:26,707
(teacher) Brian!

15
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,153
My brother Jack is in eighth grade.

16
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,851
He told me to ask my dad
who he voted for...

17
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,757
for... for President.

18
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,888
l did and my Dad said
he's a total Bush-man.

19
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:41,127
That made my brother laugh really hard.

20
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:45,865
Whenever my Uncle Stu
comes over to play pool with my dad,

21
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:51,070
my mom says the basement smells
like a Cheech and Chong movie.

22
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,612
Well... it's like this.

23
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,308
My dog ate my paper.

24
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,373
l checked, but he didn't poop it out.

25
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,385
(class laughing)

26
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,387
What a lovely sentiment,
Mr. Etheridge.

27
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:05,982
Maybe your dog can eat the zero
you'll be receiving too.

28
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:09,893
- Aw, man!
- (boy) Harsh.

29
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,126
Miss Trinke?
lt's your turn now.

30
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:29,081
My dad says life can be
split into two categories:

31
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,277
New Jersey... and New York.

32
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,655
(music playing)

33
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,963
(girl) My dad was a Jersey boy
who became the youngest

34
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:51,162
and most successful music publicist
in New York City.

35
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:55,367
By the time he was 27,
he had 100 people working for him.

36
00:02:55,441 --> 00:03:00,037
And even though they all loved him,
he loved them even more.

37
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,571
My fellow flacks and spin doctors.

38
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,741
Salud.

39
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:10,312
(girl) Daddy loved his job,
but not as much as he loved my mom.

40
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:14,382
Mommy was a book editor in
New York City when her and Daddy met.

41
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,951
Daddy said theirjobs
were kind of the same...

42
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,794
they made slight corrections
for their clients.

43
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:25,600
Because George Michael is a pimp
who is all about the ladies, my friend.

44
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:29,164
Come on, ''l Want Your Sex''?
That sound like he's singing to a guy?

45
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:34,241
Daddy worked so much that sometimes
Mommy could only see him late at night.

46
00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:38,472
Daddy says that's why they
both loved the city so much -

47
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,542
it never went to sleep.

48
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,552
And neither did him and Mommy.

49
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,286
But after a year of romance
in New York City,

50
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:51,159
Daddy said it was time
to show Mommy where he came from.

51
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:56,463
So he took her home to New Jersey
and put her through what he said

52
00:03:56,536 --> 00:04:00,199
was the biggest test
their love would ever face:

53
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,741
''Introducing her to my pop. ''

54
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:07,502
- Hey, how are ya?
- How're ya doin'?

55
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,946
- How're ya doin' yourself?
- This is Gertrude.

56
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,746
Hi. Merry Christmas.

57
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,557
- And what do you do, Mr. Trinke?
- Easy on the ''Mr. Trinke''. lt's Bart.

58
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,752
l work for the borough,
for 30 years now.

59
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:24,263
He's the only man in Highlands
licensed to operate the street sweeper.

60
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,527
Oh, man, l always wanted
to ride in one of those things.

61
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,559
Well, you continue seeing my son,
l can probably get you a turn at the wheel.

62
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:35,540
l was only gonna sleep with him
a few more times and then dump him,

63
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,235
but now, after an offer like that...

64
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,870
Holy shit.
Listen to the mouth on this one!

65
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,346
Oh, yeah, they don't make 'em
like Mom anymore, do they, Dad?

66
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:45,748
- Now, listen, l'm goin' to the bar.
- What a shock.

67
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:49,254
lf you guys are gonna do anything
while l'm gone, stay the hell off of my bed.

68
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:53,725
- You're going to a bar?
- Didn't he tell ya? l'm an alcoholic.

69
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,627
- Well, l wanna go to the bar too.
- No, you don't wanna go to this bar.

70
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,632
lt's a bunch of old guys talkin' about
how good they had it under Kennedy.

71
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,930
The man was a goddamn saint.

72
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:06,836
l'm goin' to the bar with your dad.
You can come if you want.

73
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,874
No, that's OK.
l'll stay here and do the dishes.

74
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:10,841
l only cooked.
Why shouldn't l clean?

75
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:13,640
Suit yourself.
But don't wash that pan.

76
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:18,150
l got a layer of juice built up for the pork
roll, and l don't want you scrubbin' it off.

77
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:20,185
That ''juice'' is called grease, Dad.

78
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,346
lt's bad for you.
lt clogs your arteries.

79
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:25,880
lt's called juice.
And it greases a father's insides

80
00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:29,587
so that he can better swallow
the shit his son feeds him twice a year

81
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,653
when he can be bothered
coming to visit him.

82
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:35,661
(girl) So that night,
Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar,

83
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,162
where she got to meet
Pop's other children,

84
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,706
his best friends Greenie and Block.

85
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:45,204
Hey, your kid's cuttin' a rug.

86
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,477
Who are you, Connie Chung?

87
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:57,785
Daddy said, because Mommy
survived her first trip to Jersey,

88
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,018
he knew she was a keeper.

89
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:10,892
He said they celebrated their
engagement by going out for pizza.

90
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,465
And that's how I got here.

91
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,202
Do we have enough of these at home,
or should l steal some?

92
00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:20,109
lf you're gonna steal something,
steal some rubber gloves.

93
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:21,942
(knocking)

94
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:37,985
- Thank you!
- You're welcome!

95
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:42,764
And with that,
everyone lived happily ever after.

96
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,869
Almost.

97
00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:47,497
Look, you've got two minutes,
and then we have to go, OK?

98
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,803
- Or l'm gonna leave.
- Would you stop rushing me?

99
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:53,437
l don't understand how somebody who had
all day sitting around to get ready

100
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,276
waits till 20 minutes
before we have to leave!

101
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,578
You try getting anything accomplished
with this big gut in your way!

102
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:00,949
This is one of the few days of the year
that l can be fired for being late!

103
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:05,980
Anytime that you wanna carry this baby,
Ollie, you let me know! OK?

104
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:09,221
l would be glad to go back to wearing
regular dresses instead of this tent!

105
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:11,627
The dress looks fine.
lt's gorgeous, OK? lt's beautiful.

106
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:13,961
Yeah, until l'm standing next to
Janet Jackson or Sheryl Crow.

107
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,830
Then you'll see how not fine it looks.

108
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,996
Gertie, l asked you, please,
to use your own brush, OK?

109
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,936
- Can you just not use my brush?
- Don't start.

110
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:22,770
lt's just that
every time l wanna comb my hair

111
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:27,370
l spend 1 5 minutes taking these
long, bushy hairs out of my brush.

112
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,074
And l mean, you ask me to...

113
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:30,843
(crying)

114
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,316
l'm sorry.

115
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:35,752
Baby, l'm sorry.
l'm sorry.

116
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:39,451
You don't understand
what it's like to be this fat!

117
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:42,494
l've always been thin,
and now l'm a disgusting pig!

118
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:45,224
And it's my first time
going to the Video Music Awards

119
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:49,462
and all the other girls are gonna be skinny,
and l'm gonna look like a whale!

120
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:53,699
Baby, baby, they're just skinny
'cause they're all coked-out whores.

121
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,241
l wanna be a coked-out whore!

122
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,300
OK, you can be a coked-out whore too.

123
00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:01,813
You can be a coked-out, coked-out whore.

124
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,782
- l'm sorry.
- l should be more sensitive. l'm sorry.

125
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,445
l should be more sensitive, honey.
l know.

126
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,215
- Yes.
- l know.

127
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:12,348
- Baby, we have to go now, OK?
- OK.

128
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,791
- l love you. We have to go now.
- OK.

129
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:17,352
- l love you too.
- All right, let's go. OK?

130
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,297
Just give me two minutes.

131
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,691
- ( Ollie) What time is it?
- (man) 20 after.

132
00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:26,067
- She's gonna kill me!
- l need the quote for the Madonna release.

133
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:31,770
OK. ''Madonna trusts the public
will judge for itself that...

134
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,245
this latest in a long line
of breakthrough music videos

135
00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:38,374
is not the tasteless sexploitation
it's accused of being.''

136
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:42,649
- ''lt's artistic expression.''
- Of what?

137
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:48,092
Of one woman's constant need
to show the world... her labia.

138
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:53,457
Hey, can l use the word ''labia''
in a press release?

139
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,143
See you next week.

140
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:21,858
One of these days, l'll get me one of
those husbands that show up for Lamaze.

141
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,488
l'm sorry, babe. lt was Madonna.

142
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,692
So you were late
because of another woman. That's nice.

143
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,396
- Come on. l still gotta do my job.
- And l still gotta do mine too.

144
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:33,563
But l was at Lamaze on time.

145
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,867
Look, all l'm saying is

146
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:42,176
that guy who used to spend all night at
the office and barely live in his apartment?

147
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,239
That's not you anymore.

148
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,842
Now you have to be the guy
who's done by six

149
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,878
and comes home
and hangs out with his family.

150
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,289
That's the only way we're gonna work.

151
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,392
OK?

152
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,322
OK.

153
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,631
- OK.
- OK.

154
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,693
OK!

155
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:07,802
- OK.
- OK.

156
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,544
(panting)

157
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:15,544
- Can l help you?
- Yes.

158
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,448
My wife's water broke.
She's gonna have a baby.

159
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:20,747
- You're gonna have to check in, hon.
- Check in?!

160
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:24,779
Where, at the concierge desk?! Why
are you being so combative with me?!

161
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:28,293
First of all,
take your hands off my uniform.

162
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:31,819
And second,
l'm gonna need a patient here.

163
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,729
This is my wife.
This is the belligerent nurse

164
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,567
that's being so difficult with me,
giving me such a hard time.

165
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,973
- l'm sorry. He's a little panicky.
- Can l get a wheelchair?

166
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,738
- Let's get you up to delivery...
- OK.

167
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,779
- ...and let him fill out the paperwork.
- OK.

168
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,315
- lf we can trust him with a pen.
- Here, sweetie.

169
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,783
OK, just relax, breathe.
Remember, take it easy.

170
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,945
l love you.
l'll be right there, OK? l love you.

171
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,114
- l love you too.
- OK, l love you.

172
00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:01,148
We've practiced this 1 ,000 times.
lt'll be great. How hard can it be?

173
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,558
(screaming)

174
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:06,860
- Push! You're doing good.
- (doctor) You're doing real good.

175
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,696
- No, l can't! l can't do it!
- (doctor) Take a breath.

176
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:12,567
- lt hurts!
- l know it hurts.

177
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:15,698
lt's OK, baby.
Push. You can do it.

178
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,938
(doctor) Take a deep breath.
ln five, four...

179
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,309
- OK? Here you go.
- ...three, two, one.

180
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:24,872
(doctor) Push. Push harder, Gertie.
Push harder.

181
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,578
The baby's crowning. l can see her.
l just need one more push.

182
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:30,121
- Can you see her?
- Holy shit! l can see the head!

183
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:33,716
- (doctor) One more. Breathe.
- Push! lt's almost there, baby.

184
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,818
Push! You're doing it. Push!

185
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,056
Push!

186
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:42,196
(doctor) Here she comes!
Here she comes!

187
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,668
Here she is.

188
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:47,262
- Do you wanna cut the cord, Dad?
- Yeah.

189
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:48,738
Scissors, please.

190
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:54,713
Yes! And she's got all ten fingers,
ten toes.

191
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:59,308
We'll get her all cleaned up
and then we're gonna check...

192
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,374
Gertie?

193
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,353
- ( Ollie) Baby, look.
- Gertie?

194
00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:04,319
Gertie!

195
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,383
Gertie, can you hear me?

196
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,987
- She's OK. Sweetheart?
- Nurse, get Dr. Mortimer right away!

197
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,224
( Ollie) She's resting.
Who's Dr. Mortimer?

198
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,288
Dr. Mortimer!

199
00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:16,300
- What's happening?
- (doctor) She's unresponsive.

200
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,063
- (nurse) Gertie!
- Gertie! Gertie!

201
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:21,106
Gertie, it's me!
Gertie?

202
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,403
(doctor) Healthy baby.
Unresponsive.

203
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,910
- (doctor) Respiratory arrest.
- (nurse) Turn it around!

204
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:29,505
- What's happening to my wife?
- Let's open that lV, please.

205
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,313
Baby, are you OK?
Sweetheart, sweetheart, wake up!

206
00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:36,684
Please, someone take
Mr. Trinke outside. Please!

207
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,781
l'm gonna have to intubate.

208
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,122
Gertie, wake up, my love.
Wake up.

209
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,286
Gertie, please. Wake up.

210
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,990
Get off me!
Gertie!

211
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:50,399
l wanna stay with my wife!
Gertie! Gertie!

212
00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:52,460
What's happening?!

213
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,559
- Ollie...
- lf l don't get to go in there right now...

214
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,095
- l swear to God!
- Ollie... Ollie, calm down.

215
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:19,290
Fuck you, calm down!
OK?!

216
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,333
l got dragged out of there,
l haven't got to see my baby!

217
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,699
Your baby is fine.
She's healthy, she's normal.

218
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:28,501
- What's wrong with Gertie?
- l need you to calm down before l...

219
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:31,236
Look, l'm calm!
OK?!

220
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,244
(exasperated sigh)

221
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,205
l'm calm.

222
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,445
We think Gertie had an aneurysm.

223
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,781
ls she OK?

224
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,118
We lost her, Ollie.

225
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:57,299
The strain of the contractions and the
pushing caused the aneurysm to rupture.

226
00:13:57,369 --> 00:14:00,338
There are rarely symptoms
for aneurysms...

227
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:04,499
(_ ''That's How I Knew This Story
Would Break My Heart'' by Aimee Mann)

228
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:08,775
_ I drew a picture of you

229
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:16,187
_ You and your anchor tattoo

230
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:23,355
_ And saw the face that I knew

231
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,562
_ Covered in shame

232
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:37,836
_ You drew the bird that was here

233
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:45,144
_ The kind of sweet chanticleer

234
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:52,485
_ But with a terrible fear

235
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:58,453
_ That the cage couldn't tame

236
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:12,043
_ That's how I knew the story
would break my heart

237
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,615
_ When you're older

238
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:26,886
_ That's how I knew the story
would break my heart

239
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,967
( Ollie) You sure you're OK
with this, Dad?

240
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:49,037
What, OK?
She's my granddaughter.

241
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:53,380
Yeah, you can stay
with me anytime, can't you?

242
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,249
Yes, you can.

243
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:59,155
Until you're a teenager,
with the boys and a reefer.

244
00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:02,125
Then l don't wanna know about you.

245
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,652
l wouldn't impose on you, you know.

246
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:09,963
l just got a lot of work...
piled up from before and...

247
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:15,837
- l'll be back late tonight, OK?
- Yeah, take your time.

248
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:24,681
Your daddy really misses
your mommy, kid. l miss her too.

249
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,843
Especially right now.

250
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,844
- (farting)
- Oh, Jesus!

251
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:38,255
(knocking)

252
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,854
Yeah.

253
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,599
- You wanted to see me, Ollie?
- Yeah, come on in.

254
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,372
l didn't think you were gonna be in
this week. How you doin'?

255
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,431
- You all right?
- l'm fine.

256
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,842
Look, this piece in the Post.
Why didn't you call me when this broke?

257
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:58,042
- l had to read about it in New Jersey.
- lt's cool. The nurse is a fan.

258
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,314
Will she still be a fan when the Enquirer
flashes a stack of 50s in her face?

259
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:04,948
Listen, something like this breaks,
l'm not in the city,

260
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,219
you find me or you find another job.

261
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,953
Yeah, OK.

262
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:13,993
OK.

263
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:17,693
What else do we got?

264
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,034
Um, Will Smith.

265
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,972
- Who?
- The Fresh Prince?

266
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,476
''DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince''
Fresh Prince?

267
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,136
- Yeah.
- What about him?

268
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:30,306
You remember the first album,
the one with ''Girls Ain't...

269
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,646
- Rock the House. Yeah?
- Rock the House, right.

270
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:37,655
You remember on the cover of the album
Jazzy Jeff is holding a model of a house?

271
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,849
Vaguely.

272
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:41,893
Will Smith is donating that house
to the Hard Rock Cafe.

273
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,588
Well, stop the presses.
You put the word out yet?

274
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,722
- Date pending, yeah.
- Anybody give a shit?

275
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:51,532
- Every outlet wants in.
- You're kidding me?

276
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:53,867
No.
Even S News and World Report.

277
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,908
Why? lt's an eight-year-old album.

278
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:59,876
Doesn't matter. Everyone loves
that Fresh Prince TV show.

279
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:03,676
He's got that movie coming out
in a couple of weeks, Independence Day.

280
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:07,515
- Let the film division handle it.
- No, we can't.

281
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,555
Will wants to keep his music career
separate from his movie career.

282
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:14,888
Like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air
is ever gonna have a movie career.

283
00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:19,896
Get me everything you can. l'll put together
a press kit on him, and we'll just do it.

284
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:20,454
OK.

285
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,797
- Patty, get me Kirsch.
- (Patty) Sure, Ollie.

286
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:27,965
l can handle this Fresh Prince stuff
if you wanna take a couple of days...

287
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:32,306
Hey, Arthur, l can do my job.
l'm all set, OK? You do your job. Go ahead.

288
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,868
Patty, did you not hear me? l asked you
to please get Kirsch on the phone.

289
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,244
- Ollie?
- (Patty) I'm trying.

290
00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:37,577
What, man?

291
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,141
l know l told you at the funeral,
but l'm really sorry...

292
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,085
l'm fine.
OK, Arthur? l am fine!

293
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:45,487
Please go do
what l asked you to do now.

294
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:47,821
- Kirschner on one.
- OK! Put him on the phone then!

295
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:50,453
- How's the baby?
- The baby is fine, Arthur!

296
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,929
Forget about the baby!
l just wanna do my job!

297
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:56,798
(Kirschner) Jesus Christ, Ollie!
What the hell you screamin' about?

298
00:18:56,869 --> 00:19:00,168
- Patty, was that...
- (turns intercom off)

299
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:11,412
(baby crying)

300
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,451
( Ollie) I'm working on that right now.
Don't worry.

301
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:16,010
Just get there early
and deal with the menu. OK?

302
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:19,524
Hey! Are you deaf?
The kid is cryin' up there.

303
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,991
Can you deal with that? l'm doing
something important. OK? Thanks.

304
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:25,120
What the hell could be more
important than your kid crying?

305
00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:27,688
l have a memorabilia donation
ceremony in the morning

306
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:30,200
that my company is treating
like a royal wedding

307
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:34,137
'cause apparently the client's the most
beloved American musician since Elvis.

308
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,367
The kid's been screaming
for the last ten minutes.

309
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:39,535
lf it bothers you so much,
go up there and give her a bottle. OK?

310
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:42,444
Sorry. lt's a nightmare
trying to work at this house.

311
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,147
Jesus! Let me call you back, OK?

312
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,417
- What, Dad?
- Listen, kid.

313
00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:53,982
l lost a wife too, remember?
So l get how you're feelin'. But come on.

314
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:56,892
You were married for what, 20 years?
l got about 20 minutes.

315
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,795
So you don't ''get''
how l'm feeling at all, OK?

316
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,164
l'm sorry, Oliver, but that don't change
the fact that you're a goddamn father now

317
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,635
and you haven't acted like it
since that kid got home from the hospital!

318
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:10,038
l been calling in sick for a month to do
the things you're supposed to be doin'!

319
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:13,509
Jesus Christ, if Gertie could see
the shit you've been pulling...

320
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:19,043
Gertie doesn't see anything anymore,
Dad. She's dead.

321
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:21,979
Yeah, she's dead.

322
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:28,092
But you ain't.
And neither is that kid.

323
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,151
(baby continues crying)

324
00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:38,332
(dialing)

325
00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:42,867
Yeah. lt's nothin'.

326
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,465
Uh...

327
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:47,273
All right, so l'm gonna do the kit.
lt's almost finished.

328
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:50,372
You can deal with the menu.
What time's Will getting there?

329
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,686
(baby crying)

330
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:04,255
Dad, the baby's up!

331
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,123
(crying continues)

332
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,725
Dad! The baby needs to be fed!

333
00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:16,237
Dad!

334
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,906
(Bart) What the hell...?!

335
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:30,578
Are you nuts?
What, are you trying to get killed?!

336
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:33,887
- What are you doing?
- Searching for Christ. What's it look like?

337
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,757
lt would have been nice if you'd told me
you were leaving the house!

338
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:40,423
That way, l could've given you the baby
instead of driving all the way down here!

339
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:44,128
- Now l'm gonna hit traffic!
- No, you ain't giving me the baby.

340
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,935
Hey! Excuse me?

341
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:53,102
l got uptown and downtown
to do this morning.

342
00:21:53,178 --> 00:21:57,046
- You're on your own with the kid today.
- What?! No!

343
00:21:57,115 --> 00:22:00,016
l have this press conference l have to do
this morning, Dad! You know that!

344
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:03,987
- l got a job to do too.
- lf l don't leave right now...

345
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:06,149
- So leave!
- And do what with the baby?!

346
00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:08,920
- Take her with you!
- Goddamn it! l...

347
00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:12,920
Look, l know l haven't been
helping out that much with the baby...

348
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,989
Listen to you, ''Helping out
that much with the baby.''

349
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,591
She's your daughter,
for Christ's sakes!

350
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:21,401
- What am l supposed to do with her?!
- Try acting like her father, shithead!

351
00:22:22,874 --> 00:22:24,865
Goddamn it!

352
00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:58,966
Folks, l'm sorry.

353
00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:04,242
- Sorry. Steve.
- What the...?!

354
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:07,376
- l ordered diapers. Did they get here yet?
- You mean baby diapers?

355
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:09,784
Why didn't you start half an hour ago?
You shouldn't have waited for me!

356
00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:12,050
- We're waiting for Will.
- Will's not here?!

357
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:14,592
- No.
- Are either of you guys Trinket?

358
00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:16,559
- Close enough. Where is he?
- We're not sure.

359
00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:19,358
Damn! That baby smells like shit.
You know that, right?

360
00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:21,194
(Arthur) lt's a good thing
you finally showed up, man.

361
00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:24,565
- They're gettin' all rowdy out there.
- Oh, Mother of God!

362
00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:26,433
- What? Jesus...
- Ollie!

363
00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:30,134
Ollie, the guy from Rolling Stone...
Holy shit! What is that smell?

364
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:33,405
Grow up, Susan! lt's a dirty diaper.
What did the Rolling Stone guy say?

365
00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:35,469
lf we don't start in five minutes,
they're leaving

366
00:23:35,547 --> 00:23:38,015
to go cover the Blues Traveler
signing at Tower.

367
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:41,314
- Jesus Christ!
- Hey, you're doing that wrong.

368
00:23:41,386 --> 00:23:43,411
- What?
- You're doing that wrong.

369
00:23:43,488 --> 00:23:46,423
You're supposed to wipe front to back.
You're wiping back to front.

370
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:49,824
You do that, you're just wiping
the poop into her...

371
00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:51,726
..crevice.

372
00:23:52,397 --> 00:23:54,126
Get outta here! Beat it!

373
00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:56,565
Mark my words,
you're gonna give her the crotch-rot.

374
00:23:56,635 --> 00:23:58,728
- Would one of you do... You do this.
- Oh, not me. No.

375
00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:00,795
Will you do this
so l can go out there and calm them down?

376
00:24:00,872 --> 00:24:04,103
Why, because l'm a girl?
l've never even seen a naked baby. No!

377
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:06,804
Fine. Thank you very much.
l'm gonna remember this.

378
00:24:06,878 --> 00:24:10,439
- How much of this am l supposed to use?
- Should l get that guy back?

379
00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:12,915
lf it's for the smell,
l suggest you use a lot.

380
00:24:12,984 --> 00:24:17,478
Ooh! You gotta turn... turn it.
You gotta turn the top!

381
00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:20,184
Oh! Direct it at the baby.

382
00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:24,695
Thank you! Go out there, please,
and tell them we're about to start!

383
00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:31,659
l'd say more.

384
00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:37,935
That's a lot.

385
00:24:38,009 --> 00:24:39,306
(music playing)

386
00:24:40,912 --> 00:24:43,312
All right,
the Fresh Prince is almost here.

387
00:24:43,381 --> 00:24:46,475
ls that blow on your shirt?

388
00:24:46,551 --> 00:24:50,510
What do you think, Stretch?
This is show business, right?

389
00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:53,990
- That was a joke, people.
- Where's the Fresh Prince?

390
00:24:54,059 --> 00:24:56,391
- The Fresh Prince is on his way.
- (baby crying)

391
00:24:56,461 --> 00:24:58,326
- lt's crying. Will you take it?
- No! No.

392
00:24:58,396 --> 00:25:01,695
- ls that Jazzy Jeff?
- (all laugh)

393
00:25:01,766 --> 00:25:03,927
This is bullshit!
Where's the Fresh Prince?

394
00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:06,698
Will someone please shut that girl up?

395
00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:09,569
Enough with the Romper Room, man!
Bring out the Fresh Prince!

396
00:25:09,641 --> 00:25:11,541
(chanting) Fresh Prince! Fresh Prince!

397
00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:15,136
- Please take her.
- (chanting continues)

398
00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:17,639
l, uh...

399
00:25:20,218 --> 00:25:24,621
Goddamn it! Christ!
Give her to me! Give me the baby.

400
00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:26,680
(chanting continues)

401
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:39,831
Would you people just shut the hell up
with the ''Fresh Prince'' already?!

402
00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:41,964
He's a two-bit TV actor...

403
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,338
who won't be around any longer
than it takes for the ink to dry

404
00:25:44,409 --> 00:25:49,210
on the pages of the worthless rags
you jerk-offs write for!

405
00:25:49,281 --> 00:25:50,441
(silence)

406
00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:54,749
Shit.

407
00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,713
- That guy's toast.
- That's a hell of a quote.

408
00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:07,988
(_ ''Swing Low Sweet Chariot''
by George Jones)

409
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,828
(baby crying)

410
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,301
_ Well, I looked over Jordan

411
00:26:12,370 --> 00:26:14,998
- (Arthur crying)
- _ And what did I see?

412
00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:16,631
lt's all right, Arthur.

413
00:26:16,708 --> 00:26:22,169
_ Comin' for to carry me home

414
00:26:24,316 --> 00:26:27,877
_ A band of angels

415
00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:31,445
_ Coming after me

416
00:26:31,523 --> 00:26:37,120
_ Coming for to carry me home

417
00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:47,970
_ Swing low, sweet chariot

418
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:54,078
_ Coming for to carry me home

419
00:26:54,145 --> 00:27:00,345
_ Swing low, sweet chariot

420
00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:05,887
_ Coming for to carry me home

421
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:16,162
_ Coming for to carry me home

422
00:27:23,174 --> 00:27:24,664
We won't be here too long, Dad.

423
00:27:24,743 --> 00:27:28,235
We'll be out of your hair
as soon as l get another job.

424
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:31,111
l have some feelers out
to the other firms right now.

425
00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:34,242
As soon as this whole thing
blows over...

426
00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:38,983
lt's OK to stay here as long as you need to,
till you get back on your feet.

427
00:27:39,057 --> 00:27:41,617
- l appreciate that.
- On one condition.

428
00:27:41,693 --> 00:27:46,187
- Here we go.
- You put the kid to bed every night.

429
00:27:46,264 --> 00:27:49,256
- That's it?
- For starters.

430
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:52,428
And no whores.
l don't want no whores in my house.

431
00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:56,834
l'm not really a whoremonger, Dad.

432
00:27:56,908 --> 00:27:59,433
Here, the kid gets this.

433
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:02,844
That's cute.
8:00, you both get a bottle.

434
00:28:02,914 --> 00:28:07,442
Just shut the hell up and go be a father,
would ya, please?

435
00:28:31,142 --> 00:28:33,133
No?

436
00:28:39,951 --> 00:28:44,513
(clears throat) Yeah, this is only temporary,
us... you know...

437
00:28:44,589 --> 00:28:47,217
living with your grandfather here.

438
00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:50,827
So...

439
00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:55,525
how about that Fresh Prince thing, huh?

440
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,830
lt was quite a show.

441
00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:01,098
Your dad's one big horse's ass.

442
00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:06,133
Daddy's ex-bosses said
the guys who did PR for Hitler

443
00:29:06,211 --> 00:29:10,079
have a better chance of working in
this business again than Daddy does.

444
00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:16,284
So, OK...

445
00:29:17,722 --> 00:29:20,190
How're you doin'?

446
00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:27,860
Yeah... You know,
you kinda look like your mom.

447
00:29:27,932 --> 00:29:31,834
Like a squishier,
balder version of your mom.

448
00:29:37,709 --> 00:29:39,677
Man...

449
00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:43,077
l just wish you could've gotten
to meet your mom.

450
00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:48,951
l know she wanted to meet you...
in a big, bad way.

451
00:29:51,723 --> 00:29:53,987
ln a big, bad way.

452
00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:03,026
Sometimes, Daddy wishes
he'd have died instead of Mommy.

453
00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:06,837
Because Mommy never would've...

454
00:30:06,905 --> 00:30:10,705
let work get in the way of...
getting to know you,

455
00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:15,508
like Daddy has for the last...
month or so.

456
00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:23,247
lt's just that Daddy...
he didn't expect Mommy...

457
00:30:24,289 --> 00:30:26,814
(sighs) to leave the way she did.

458
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:35,065
lt's just really hard on Daddy, who's been
trying to fill up his days with work,

459
00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:40,435
so he wouldn't have to think about
Mommy never being around again.

460
00:30:41,439 --> 00:30:44,340
l just loved your mom so much.

461
00:30:44,409 --> 00:30:46,400
You know?

462
00:30:47,378 --> 00:30:49,812
She really lit my world on fire.

463
00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:54,511
When that happens...

464
00:30:55,520 --> 00:31:01,481
you kinda think it'll go on like that
until one of you dies. You know?

465
00:31:01,559 --> 00:31:04,653
You just don't expect...

466
00:31:04,729 --> 00:31:07,994
l miss her so much. So, so much.

467
00:31:14,639 --> 00:31:19,372
And you're a little piece of Mommy. And
that makes you really special to Daddy.

468
00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:34,381
Just don't go anywhere.

469
00:31:34,459 --> 00:31:37,951
'Cause you're the next best thing
to Mommy, and l love you so much.

470
00:31:38,029 --> 00:31:40,293
And l'll always be here for you.

471
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:43,562
And l'm sorry about
the way l've been acting.

472
00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:48,072
l promise you...
l'll be better now.

473
00:31:48,139 --> 00:31:51,472
l'm gonna be the best daddy
in the world.

474
00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:56,536
'Cause that's what Mommy wanted.
And that's what you deserve.

475
00:31:58,082 --> 00:32:00,516
And that's all l am now.

476
00:32:01,719 --> 00:32:04,187
l'm just your dad.

477
00:32:22,674 --> 00:32:25,802
Your dad likes to run off at the mouth
sometimes, l know.

478
00:32:26,644 --> 00:32:27,633
(sneezes)

479
00:32:30,315 --> 00:32:32,943
Your mother wasn't a fan, either.

480
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:38,415
You wanna see a picture
of your mom? l have one.

481
00:32:40,158 --> 00:32:44,060
This was your mommy.
She was really pretty.

482
00:32:44,662 --> 00:32:47,153
OK. You can keep it.

483
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,394
Daddy's got a bunch.

484
00:32:52,770 --> 00:32:55,261
There you go.

485
00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:08,480
Goodnight, Gertie.

486
00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:27,864
(bell ringing)

487
00:33:27,939 --> 00:33:30,635
(_ ''Worlds They Rise and Fall''
by Mike Heron)

488
00:33:33,711 --> 00:33:36,077
_ Worlds...

489
00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:40,078
_ They rise and fall

490
00:33:41,953 --> 00:33:42,715
( Ollie) Gertie!

491
00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:44,880
_ Within her eyes

492
00:33:46,057 --> 00:33:48,651
Your chariot awaits, Princess.

493
00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:50,523
Let's go!

494
00:33:52,296 --> 00:33:55,231
We gotta go! Argh!

495
00:33:55,299 --> 00:33:57,597
_ To fly in the sky

496
00:33:57,668 --> 00:33:59,568
- How was school, good?
- Mm-hm.

497
00:33:59,637 --> 00:34:01,229
- You have a nice time?
- Yep.

498
00:34:01,305 --> 00:34:04,138
Remember to put your seat belt on?
Know where to find it?

499
00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:04,697
Yep.

500
00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:10,237
Lock and load.
Comin' around. Get ready.

501
00:34:19,190 --> 00:34:22,023
- Ready?
- Punch it, Chewy!

502
00:34:25,096 --> 00:34:27,690
- Can we go see Cats?
- Absolutely not.

503
00:34:27,765 --> 00:34:28,823
Why?

504
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,334
Cats was the second-worst thing
that ever happened to New York City.

505
00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:35,202
- Besides, Cats closed three years ago.
- We never do anything cool.

506
00:34:35,273 --> 00:34:38,902
You're ridin' in the Batmobile,
aren't ya? How cool is that?

507
00:34:38,976 --> 00:34:40,500
Oh, my God.

508
00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:43,376
Look, no one's more depressed than me
that driving the street sweeper

509
00:34:43,448 --> 00:34:45,780
is considered the height
of excitement in my life.

510
00:34:45,850 --> 00:34:47,681
l used to live in New York City.

511
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,743
l could've gone to see Cats
three times a day.

512
00:34:49,821 --> 00:34:53,689
- lt's not like l ever ask for anything.
- Oh-ho-ho!

513
00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:56,022
''And the Oscar goes to Gertie Trinke,

514
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:59,257
for her performance in
Laying It On Thick For My Old Man.''

515
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,900
What is it with you and Cats
all of a sudden?

516
00:35:02,967 --> 00:35:05,868
l wanna sing a Cats song
in the big show, like everybody else.

517
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:08,735
- What big show?
- There's gonna be this big show at school.

518
00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:12,003
All the people have to sing a song
with people from their family.

519
00:35:12,076 --> 00:35:16,069
- Are you inviting me to this big show?
- Duh! Yeah, you and Pop too.

520
00:35:16,147 --> 00:35:19,583
Oh-ho! l'm sure that'll go over
huge with your pop.

521
00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:21,811
Can Uncle Greenie and Uncle Block
be in it too?

522
00:35:21,886 --> 00:35:25,287
Those men are not your uncles.
They're barely even your peers.

523
00:35:25,356 --> 00:35:26,414
Pee-ers?

524
00:35:26,491 --> 00:35:30,154
- When is this big show?
- Right before Thanksgiving break.

525
00:35:30,228 --> 00:35:31,991
Does it have to be something
from the Bible?

526
00:35:32,063 --> 00:35:34,623
l don't think so.
ls Cats in the Bible?

527
00:35:34,699 --> 00:35:37,327
The Satanic Bible, yes.

528
00:35:46,344 --> 00:35:49,006
- What?
- When you taking her to see the cats?

529
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,446
Jesus, you too?

530
00:35:51,516 --> 00:35:53,279
Gertie!

531
00:35:54,919 --> 00:35:57,012
Do you even know what Cats is, Dad?

532
00:35:57,088 --> 00:36:00,922
- What, l don't read the papers?
- You don't read that paper.

533
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,823
What are you doing with
a New York Times?

534
00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:04,418
They ran out of the Ledger.

535
00:36:04,495 --> 00:36:06,986
They don't have the Jumble
in the Times, Dad.

536
00:36:07,064 --> 00:36:09,362
Shit.

537
00:36:10,067 --> 00:36:12,126
- Where were you?
- l was in the bathroom.

538
00:36:12,203 --> 00:36:15,536
- Why didn't l hear the toilet flush?
- Oh. l forgot.

539
00:36:15,606 --> 00:36:18,370
OK, march your butt back upstairs
and flush that toilet.

540
00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:20,205
And when l say no about something,

541
00:36:20,278 --> 00:36:22,769
like, l don't know, Cats, maybe,
l mean no.

542
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,109
OK?

543
00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:28,710
- Pop, you were supposed to be subtle!
- Why do you teach her words like that?

544
00:36:28,786 --> 00:36:31,277
You're gonna have to mow the park
for me tomorrow. l can't do it.

545
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:34,324
- Why the hell not?
- l have an appointment in the city at 1 1 :00.

546
00:36:34,392 --> 00:36:36,883
Jesus, kid,
why do you keep doin' it to yourself?

547
00:36:36,961 --> 00:36:39,020
How many of these interviews
you gotta go on

548
00:36:39,096 --> 00:36:40,495
before you get it through
your thick head

549
00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:42,897
they don't want you
in that business anymore?

550
00:36:42,967 --> 00:36:45,731
For Christ's sakes, you made fun
of that Prince Charles guy.

551
00:36:45,803 --> 00:36:47,794
- (toilet flushing)
- Thank you.

552
00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:51,433
First of all, Dad,
l didn't ''make fun'' of anybody.

553
00:36:51,509 --> 00:36:54,910
l made one remark about Will Smith,
the Fresh Prince.

554
00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:57,072
Sooner or later,
everyone's gonna forget about that

555
00:36:57,148 --> 00:36:59,173
and l'm gonna go back to doing
what l'm really good at,

556
00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:02,845
instead of sweeping streets
and plowing snow and picking up garbage.

557
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:04,251
OK?

558
00:37:04,322 --> 00:37:08,986
lf you're going into the city anyway,
at least take the kid to see the cats.

559
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:10,687
( Ollie sighs)

560
00:37:10,761 --> 00:37:12,319
Oh, God...

561
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:15,263
l'll tell you what,
since there is no more Cats,

562
00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:20,771
Gertie, why don't you come over here and
pick out another play that you wanna see?

563
00:37:20,838 --> 00:37:24,501
Look through here.
Anything you want. Go nuts.

564
00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:28,341
- Cats is a show?
- Yeah, you read the papers.

565
00:37:30,748 --> 00:37:32,579
You think you're slick,
don't ya, young lady?

566
00:37:32,650 --> 00:37:34,948
Next time you're lookin'
for a partner in crime,

567
00:37:35,019 --> 00:37:37,283
you're gonna have to aim higher
than your grandfather.

568
00:37:37,355 --> 00:37:40,847
- (whispers) He's soft in the head.
- (Bart) l heard that!

569
00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:46,092
Here.
Can we go see this show?

570
00:37:46,163 --> 00:37:49,132
Sweeney Todd? Do you know
that this has a lot of singing?

571
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,192
- lt's still a play.
- OK. l'm just checking.

572
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:55,603
Your dad one time lost a bet
with someone at his work,

573
00:37:55,673 --> 00:37:59,473
and he had to go see a singing play,
done by people on roller skates.

574
00:37:59,543 --> 00:38:02,478
- Cool!
- Your dad didn't think so.

575
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:04,771
( Ollie) l handled primarily
recording artists

576
00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:08,782
but when l initially trained,
l trained in film PR, so l can do that too.

577
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:15,053
l, uh... took the last six or seven years off.
l was raising my daughter in New Jersey.

578
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:19,495
But l kept abreast, so...
l'm pretty comfortable jumping back in.

579
00:38:19,563 --> 00:38:22,760
What else can l tell you guys? Uh...

580
00:38:22,833 --> 00:38:25,495
That's it.
l can start, you know, right away.

581
00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:33,068
- You guys all right?
- (clears throat)

582
00:38:35,913 --> 00:38:40,577
Are you the Ollie Trinke? The one
who used to work at MandellKirschner?

583
00:38:42,453 --> 00:38:42,976
Yeah.

584
00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:46,854
- Son of a bitch!
- Yes! l told you, Reynolds! Pay up!

585
00:38:46,924 --> 00:38:49,324
- (Reynolds) l got it.
- Am l missin' somethin'?

586
00:38:49,393 --> 00:38:52,226
Nah, nah, he just bet me
you were the Ollie Trinke,

587
00:38:52,296 --> 00:38:53,923
the one who pulled ''The Fresh Prince''.

588
00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:56,262
- They named it?
- Of course!

589
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,666
Are you kidding?
You're a legend, man!

590
00:38:58,736 --> 00:39:01,534
You did what every flack
only dreams about doing!

591
00:39:01,605 --> 00:39:03,573
- Which was what?
- You went apeshit!

592
00:39:03,641 --> 00:39:05,609
You trashed your client
back to the Stone Age.

593
00:39:05,676 --> 00:39:07,974
- Yeah.
- We bow to you, man.

594
00:39:08,045 --> 00:39:10,445
- You're like a god around here.
- Yep, exactly.

595
00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:13,881
- God enough to get a job?
- No.

596
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:17,648
- What, are you insane?
- No chance, Trinke! (laughing)

597
00:39:19,090 --> 00:39:22,253
- Pop, l'm home!
- (Bart) Yeah, like l give a shit.

598
00:39:22,326 --> 00:39:24,123
You know, thanks a lot, Pop!

599
00:39:31,969 --> 00:39:35,029
- That's what it looks like?
- l guess.

600
00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:38,234
- What does yours look like?
- Not like that.

601
00:39:38,309 --> 00:39:40,072
Yeah? Let me see.

602
00:39:40,144 --> 00:39:42,135
All right.

603
00:39:43,314 --> 00:39:46,647
( Ollie) Gertie!
lt's time for Bryan to go home.

604
00:39:56,794 --> 00:39:58,625
OK...

605
00:40:05,603 --> 00:40:08,572
- What are your intentions?
- Huh?

606
00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:11,699
What are your intentions
with my daughter?

607
00:40:11,776 --> 00:40:15,735
- Do you plan on marrying her?
- l don't know.

608
00:40:15,813 --> 00:40:19,579
Well, only married boys and girls,
ahem...

609
00:40:19,650 --> 00:40:22,050
show each other their, uh...

610
00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:24,679
their, you know, uh...

611
00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:27,121
..parts.

612
00:40:27,191 --> 00:40:28,215
OK?

613
00:40:30,494 --> 00:40:35,193
OK, Bryan, you can go now.
lf you come back, come back with a ring.

614
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:37,097
Yes, Mr. Trinke.

615
00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:38,931
- Bye, Gertie.
- Bye.

616
00:40:39,003 --> 00:40:41,130
Goodbye, Bryan.

617
00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:45,334
OK.

618
00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,837
Do you have any, uh...

619
00:40:50,047 --> 00:40:53,642
questions about what you...

620
00:40:53,717 --> 00:40:55,207
you know...

621
00:40:56,954 --> 00:40:59,821
you know, whatever, saw?

622
00:41:04,395 --> 00:41:06,590
Do you have what Bryan has?

623
00:41:10,701 --> 00:41:15,104
Yes, l have one... too.

624
00:41:17,675 --> 00:41:19,905
ls yours as big as his?

625
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,939
Sadly, yes.

626
00:41:25,516 --> 00:41:28,178
- Can we rent a movie?
- Yes.

627
00:41:30,821 --> 00:41:34,814
- So they wouldn't give you a job, huh?
- No. But apparently, Daddy's a legend.

628
00:41:34,892 --> 00:41:37,918
You don't need that job anyway.
You already got a job.

629
00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:41,260
Yes, well,
Daddy used to have a job

630
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:43,630
where a nightly shower was an option,
not a necessity.

631
00:41:43,701 --> 00:41:45,896
- You know what job you should do?
- What's that?

632
00:41:45,970 --> 00:41:48,666
You should be a dance teacher,
like Johnny in Dirty Dancing.

633
00:41:48,739 --> 00:41:53,142
l should? Should l say,
''Nobody puts Baby in a corner''?

634
00:41:53,210 --> 00:41:55,075
Oh, can we rent
Dirty Dancing again?

635
00:41:55,145 --> 00:41:59,047
Ohh... Dirty Dancing ranks one notch
below Cats in my book.

636
00:41:59,116 --> 00:42:01,641
Can you pick out something else?

637
00:42:03,621 --> 00:42:05,782
Can we rent this?

638
00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:09,553
Absolutely not. Go pick out something
from the children's section.

639
00:42:09,627 --> 00:42:13,393
- All those movies suck.
- Watch your language.

640
00:42:41,358 --> 00:42:43,826
Nah, that's...

641
00:42:43,894 --> 00:42:46,419
No, l guess that's it.
Yep, yep, that's it.

642
00:42:47,965 --> 00:42:51,093
l'll just take this
and whatever the kid's getting.

643
00:42:51,168 --> 00:42:54,695
Just go ahead and put it in the bag.
l'm all set.

644
00:42:54,772 --> 00:42:56,763
lt's good.

645
00:42:59,109 --> 00:43:02,772
''Bi-Bi Guys, featuring Curious Jordie''?

646
00:43:04,682 --> 00:43:08,379
lnteresting choice. Does the wife know
you're looking into your options?

647
00:43:08,452 --> 00:43:10,579
lt's... l got the...

648
00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:13,785
- l got the wrong box by accident.
- Oh, right.

649
00:43:13,857 --> 00:43:17,020
Would you mind, uh...
exchanging that for me for something...

650
00:43:17,094 --> 00:43:19,790
anything you can get your hands on
that's, you know...

651
00:43:19,863 --> 00:43:23,560
- So, then you want something...
- ...that's non-bi.

652
00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:31,103
Can l have your
membership card, please?

653
00:43:31,175 --> 00:43:32,972
Yeah, sure.

654
00:43:33,043 --> 00:43:36,479
Do you mind if l asked you a few questions
about your renting practices?

655
00:43:36,547 --> 00:43:38,481
Uh... sure.

656
00:43:38,549 --> 00:43:40,312
Really? Uh...

657
00:43:40,384 --> 00:43:45,185
Do you always rent adult titles with your
daughter in tow, or is this the first time?

658
00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:46,153
Excuse me?

659
00:43:46,223 --> 00:43:49,556
When you rent porn, do you
usually do it with family around,

660
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:52,425
or is this like a, you know,
special occasion?

661
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:58,227
- Do l have to answer this?
- l'm a grad student, writing a thesis paper.

662
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:03,137
''A Bird in the Hand: The Family Man
and the Pornographic Fixation''.

663
00:44:04,775 --> 00:44:07,107
OK. l would rather not take part.

664
00:44:07,177 --> 00:44:08,542
Really?

665
00:44:08,612 --> 00:44:11,809
Frank, is Bi-Bi Guys
a one or a two-night rental?

666
00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:15,909
- What are you getting, Daddy?
- Yeah, Daddy. Let's just take a look...

667
00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:17,954
Let's not, OK?

668
00:44:21,258 --> 00:44:25,217
Would you mind not asking me those
questions when my daughter's with me?

669
00:44:25,295 --> 00:44:27,820
How about when you bring these back?

670
00:44:27,898 --> 00:44:29,832
That's... Yeah.

671
00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:35,099
ln an effort to get honest feedback,
leave the kid and the wife at home.

672
00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:38,437
My mom's dead.
She died when l was born.

673
00:44:38,509 --> 00:44:40,340
Oh, Jesus.

674
00:44:41,045 --> 00:44:43,343
Man, l'm sorry. l didn't...

675
00:44:43,414 --> 00:44:45,848
No, you didn't.

676
00:44:48,585 --> 00:44:50,314
Let's go.

677
00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:54,551
l'm sorry.

678
00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:56,650
Do I have to?

679
00:44:56,727 --> 00:45:01,858
Major Damage didn't have to go to bed
when he fought the Tiki Terrors!

680
00:45:01,932 --> 00:45:03,900
- (mom) Melvin!
- And do they...

681
00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:05,798
- (knocking)
- l'll get it.

682
00:45:05,869 --> 00:45:09,202
You will not. You're not even
supposed to be up this late.

683
00:45:09,273 --> 00:45:11,537
Watch your video.

684
00:45:11,608 --> 00:45:14,406
- (Melvin) But, Mom!
- (mom) Say, ''OK, Mom.''

685
00:45:14,478 --> 00:45:17,140
- (Melvin) Ahh!
- (mom) Say, ''OK, Mom.''

686
00:45:18,015 --> 00:45:19,380
Hi.

687
00:45:19,450 --> 00:45:21,680
Hey! You're the lady
from the video store.

688
00:45:22,619 --> 00:45:27,352
Let's not use that term too loosely, OK?
Go back and watch your video.

689
00:45:29,793 --> 00:45:31,021
Yes?

690
00:45:31,095 --> 00:45:33,086
l just wanted to come here

691
00:45:33,163 --> 00:45:36,929
and tell you that l'm really sorry
about earlier tonight.

692
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,766
l feel like shit about what l said
and your daughter and everything.

693
00:45:40,838 --> 00:45:43,807
Well... you should.

694
00:45:43,874 --> 00:45:46,069
You know that kid was crying
in the car the whole way home?

695
00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:48,873
- Oh, no...
- No, l wasn't.

696
00:45:49,413 --> 00:45:53,076
- Get back inside and watch your video!
- Nice! Real nice.

697
00:45:53,150 --> 00:45:56,847
See, now you have to let me
interview you for my paper.

698
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,444
ls that why you're here?

699
00:45:58,522 --> 00:46:01,457
l just think you'd make one hell of
an interesting case study.

700
00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:05,791
The sympathetic widower who doesn't
have time to date 'cause he's raising a kid,

701
00:46:05,863 --> 00:46:09,196
so he rents porn instead. l mean,
l think that's very interesting stuff.

702
00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:11,757
Jesus Christ!
You've got some nerve, lady.

703
00:46:11,835 --> 00:46:15,202
And besides,
l'd really like to make it up to you.

704
00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:18,264
For what l said,
and for embarrassing you before that.

705
00:46:18,342 --> 00:46:21,368
You're really having a banner evening.
You're batting a thousand tonight.

706
00:46:21,445 --> 00:46:24,881
You're Ollie, right?
l'm Maya Harding.

707
00:46:27,818 --> 00:46:29,809
''Hi, Maya. Nice to meet you.''

708
00:46:29,887 --> 00:46:30,876
Hi.

709
00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:33,616
Come on, why don't you let me
take you out one day this week?

710
00:46:33,690 --> 00:46:37,421
You do eat lunch when you're not
knee-deep in adult movies, right?

711
00:46:38,428 --> 00:46:41,522
l appreciate it, but, uh...
no thanks.

712
00:46:41,598 --> 00:46:44,590
Ollie, come on,
you're ruining my karma level here.

713
00:46:44,668 --> 00:46:47,262
What, buying me one lunch
is gonna square you with Krishna?

714
00:46:47,337 --> 00:46:48,827
Hare Hare!

715
00:46:51,842 --> 00:46:54,140
ls Monday OK?
Sound good?

716
00:46:54,211 --> 00:46:59,205
l mean, l was thinking nothing fancy.
l was thinking maybe, like, the diner.

717
00:46:59,283 --> 00:47:02,446
- Around noon?
- No!

718
00:47:03,921 --> 00:47:05,786
Noon it is!

719
00:47:05,856 --> 00:47:07,585
Oh...

720
00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:09,683
See you there. Bye!

721
00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:14,556
An incredibly strange woman.

722
00:47:14,631 --> 00:47:16,656
(honking horn)

723
00:47:24,441 --> 00:47:27,137
l did not hear the toilet flush.

724
00:47:32,149 --> 00:47:33,582
Thank you.

725
00:47:37,487 --> 00:47:40,752
- Can we get popcorn?
- This isn't the movies, sweetheart.

726
00:47:40,824 --> 00:47:46,160
They don't sell popcorn here.
This is Broadway. This is class.

727
00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:48,664
_ And if you're beautiful

728
00:47:48,732 --> 00:47:49,721
_ What then?

729
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,166
_ With yellow hair like wheat

730
00:47:52,236 --> 00:47:56,570
_ l think we shall not meet again,
my little dove

731
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,700
_ My sweet Johanna

732
00:48:04,581 --> 00:48:07,277
_ Goodbye, Johanna

733
00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:10,312
_ You're gone and yet you're mine

734
00:48:10,821 --> 00:48:13,085
_ l'm fine, Johanna

735
00:48:13,156 --> 00:48:16,887
_ l'm fine

736
00:48:17,327 --> 00:48:21,161
( Ollie) OK. You see that floor.
Now look three windows in from the right.

737
00:48:21,231 --> 00:48:25,099
See that window? That's where we
used to live before we lived with Pop.

738
00:48:25,168 --> 00:48:27,762
We'd still live there
if we lived in the city.

739
00:48:27,838 --> 00:48:30,773
- lf Mommy was still alive?
- Yep.

740
00:48:31,675 --> 00:48:33,199
- Dad...
- Yes?

741
00:48:33,277 --> 00:48:35,745
Do you miss Mommy?

742
00:48:35,812 --> 00:48:38,610
l do. Every day.

743
00:48:39,349 --> 00:48:42,876
- What was she like?
- l've told you a million times.

744
00:48:42,953 --> 00:48:46,480
- l know, but l forget.
- No, l don't think you forget.

745
00:48:46,556 --> 00:48:49,354
l think you just like to hear me tell you.
Which is OK. lt's all right.

746
00:48:49,426 --> 00:48:51,087
You can ask about your mommy
as much as you want.

747
00:48:51,161 --> 00:48:52,685
So tell me already.

748
00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:55,732
Well, she was pushy,
like you were right there.

749
00:48:55,799 --> 00:48:59,792
She was beautiful,
like you are right now.

750
00:48:59,870 --> 00:49:03,431
And she was... smart...

751
00:49:04,574 --> 00:49:07,407
and strong,
like you'll grow up to be one day.

752
00:49:07,477 --> 00:49:08,774
l'm smart now.

753
00:49:08,845 --> 00:49:11,370
l know. l wasn't impugning
your intelligence or anything.

754
00:49:11,448 --> 00:49:13,439
What's ''impugning'' mean?

755
00:49:13,517 --> 00:49:15,644
Oh, not so smart now, are you?

756
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,347
- That's a big word.
- Yes, you're right, it is.

757
00:49:18,422 --> 00:49:21,050
Let's see.
To impugn means to criticize.

758
00:49:21,124 --> 00:49:25,458
So... Pop's always impugning you, right?

759
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,453
Well, he thinks he is.

760
00:49:27,531 --> 00:49:29,897
But he's just talking
to make sure he's still alive.

761
00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:32,868
Pop is a very, very old man.

762
00:49:34,771 --> 00:49:36,762
What do you think?
You like the city?

763
00:49:36,940 --> 00:49:39,670
lt's OK.
But l like Highlands better.

764
00:49:39,743 --> 00:49:41,335
- You do?
- Yeah.

765
00:49:41,411 --> 00:49:45,177
My school's there, and my friends...
And we can rent movies there.

766
00:49:45,248 --> 00:49:48,843
Well, if memory serves,
you can rent movies here too.

767
00:49:48,919 --> 00:49:52,013
Yeah, but not from that pretty lady
at the video store.

768
00:49:52,089 --> 00:49:54,455
- Oh, you think she's pretty, do you?
- Don't you?

769
00:49:54,524 --> 00:49:57,322
lsn't that why
you're taking her on a date?

770
00:49:57,394 --> 00:50:01,660
lt's not a date.
The only girl l take on dates is you, OK?

771
00:50:01,732 --> 00:50:03,199
This is a date.
We're on a date.

772
00:50:03,266 --> 00:50:05,029
- We are?
- Mm-hm.

773
00:50:05,102 --> 00:50:08,367
- lt doesn't feel like a date.
- lt doesn't?

774
00:50:08,438 --> 00:50:11,236
Well, l can fix that.

775
00:50:13,176 --> 00:50:14,006
Sir!

776
00:50:32,763 --> 00:50:36,665
(Maya) So, uh, question one:
How often do you rent adult movies?

777
00:50:37,834 --> 00:50:41,201
- Do l really have to do this?
- You have nothing to be ashamed about.

778
00:50:41,271 --> 00:50:44,900
lnterest in adult film can be healthy,
as long as it's not habitual.

779
00:50:44,975 --> 00:50:49,742
- So come on, how often?
- Three or four times a week.

780
00:50:50,514 --> 00:50:52,982
OK, maybe l was wrong.
You should be ashamed.

781
00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:55,416
You have a real talent
for making the subject feel open

782
00:50:55,485 --> 00:50:57,578
and comfortable
in a safe environment.

783
00:50:57,654 --> 00:51:00,748
So you're renting it presumably
to masturbate to, right?

784
00:51:00,824 --> 00:51:03,315
- Good God!
- Come on, don't be such a tight-ass.

785
00:51:03,393 --> 00:51:04,485
We're all adults here.

786
00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:06,358
l know l'm an adult.
How old are you, exactly?

787
00:51:06,430 --> 00:51:08,421
- l'll be 26 in March.
- 26?

788
00:51:08,498 --> 00:51:11,592
You still haven't learned some things
aren't polite to talk about in public?

789
00:51:11,668 --> 00:51:15,263
lf it makes you feel any better,
l do it, like, twice a day.

790
00:51:15,672 --> 00:51:19,199
- Good God!
- What can l tell ya? l get bored easily.

791
00:51:19,276 --> 00:51:21,744
You're gonna get
carpal tunnel syndrome.

792
00:51:21,812 --> 00:51:25,339
Don't get all judgmental with me.
You're no slouch yourself.

793
00:51:25,415 --> 00:51:28,248
- Well, no, l...
- l just have a healthy sexual appetite.

794
00:51:28,318 --> 00:51:30,582
Why don't you go out
and get yourself a boyfriend?

795
00:51:30,654 --> 00:51:32,884
Why don't you just go out
and get yourself a girlfriend?

796
00:51:32,956 --> 00:51:35,049
l work all day,
l hang out with my kid all night.

797
00:51:35,125 --> 00:51:37,389
So you'd rather hang out with your kid
than get laid?

798
00:51:37,461 --> 00:51:42,455
- Yeah.
- Aw... that's kinda sweet.

799
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,228
l'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke.

800
00:51:46,303 --> 00:51:48,464
OK. Can l go home now?

801
00:51:48,538 --> 00:51:51,405
No.
When was the last time you had sex?

802
00:51:52,809 --> 00:51:55,710
l would rather not
disclose that information.

803
00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:57,440
Oh, come on,
don't clam up on me now.

804
00:51:57,514 --> 00:51:59,709
You're gonna remain anonymous
in my paper.

805
00:51:59,783 --> 00:52:03,082
Ha! Anonymity doesn't concern me.
Embarrassment does.

806
00:52:03,153 --> 00:52:06,554
- Why would you be embarrassed?
- Because it's been a long time.

807
00:52:06,623 --> 00:52:09,956
- How long?
- A long time.

808
00:52:10,026 --> 00:52:12,961
Come on, champ. Own it.
Just put it out there.

809
00:52:13,029 --> 00:52:15,657
l swear l won't make
any editorial cracks about it.

810
00:52:15,732 --> 00:52:18,200
Not in front of you, at least.

811
00:52:21,338 --> 00:52:25,399
- Seven years.
- Seven years?

812
00:52:25,475 --> 00:52:28,205
Since my wife died, yeah.

813
00:52:29,279 --> 00:52:33,181
You know, a dumbfounded,
mouth-agape look of shock

814
00:52:33,250 --> 00:52:36,151
might be construed by some
as an editorial crack too.

815
00:52:36,553 --> 00:52:39,113
- l'm sorry.
- lt's OK. lt's fine.

816
00:52:39,189 --> 00:52:42,556
No, it's not.
l mean, it's not at all.

817
00:52:42,626 --> 00:52:46,790
With all due respect to your wife,
you've gotta get back on the horse, man.

818
00:52:46,863 --> 00:52:49,798
- No, l don't, actually.
- Yes, you do.

819
00:52:49,866 --> 00:52:53,165
- No, l don't.
- Yes, you... Get up.

820
00:52:53,236 --> 00:52:56,364
- Are we done?
- With this, for now. But come with me.

821
00:52:56,439 --> 00:52:58,373
Lord have mercy.

822
00:52:59,943 --> 00:53:02,002
- Where are we going?
- To your place.

823
00:53:02,078 --> 00:53:04,569
We're gonna have some sex.

824
00:53:06,816 --> 00:53:11,879
- What, did you forget something?
- No. Look, l appreciate the offer.

825
00:53:12,789 --> 00:53:16,384
l'm very flattered.
But l can't do this.

826
00:53:17,060 --> 00:53:18,960
What's the matter?
Don't you think l'm cute?

827
00:53:19,029 --> 00:53:21,497
- Of course l think you're cute.
- Well, then?

828
00:53:21,565 --> 00:53:24,534
Look, l'm not just celibate
because of my daughter.

829
00:53:24,601 --> 00:53:26,796
There are a lot of emotional issues in it too.

830
00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:31,500
l mean, my wife may be dead.
l'm still very much in love with her.

831
00:53:31,575 --> 00:53:34,703
Hey, l respect that. l'm not telling you
to fall in love with me here,

832
00:53:34,778 --> 00:53:36,803
and l'm not trying to replace your wife.

833
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:41,442
l'm just talking about two consenting adults
having some casual sex.

834
00:53:41,518 --> 00:53:46,080
Probably some really short casual sex,
with you being a little out of practice.

835
00:53:46,156 --> 00:53:49,091
- l can't do it, l'm sorry.
- What are you, a monk?

836
00:53:49,159 --> 00:53:51,855
God!
Let's look at this logically, OK?

837
00:53:51,928 --> 00:53:55,489
- You rent porn and touch yourself, right?
- Would you lower your voice?

838
00:53:55,565 --> 00:53:58,728
lf you're not sweating how your wife
would feel about you and porn,

839
00:53:58,802 --> 00:54:03,000
then you shouldn't sweat what
l'm proposing 'cause it's the same thing.

840
00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:07,066
Only somebody else is doing the touching
and you're saving a $2 rental fee.

841
00:54:08,511 --> 00:54:13,005
Come on, stud.
Man cannot live on porn alone.

842
00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:32,429
Oh, God...

843
00:54:33,470 --> 00:54:35,734
l'm home!

844
00:54:35,805 --> 00:54:36,897
Pop?!

845
00:54:36,973 --> 00:54:41,273
- Oh, my God... What do l do?
- Get in the bathroom!

846
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:57,116
(shower running)

847
00:54:59,162 --> 00:55:02,757
- Pop?
- Uh, no, honey, it's me.

848
00:55:02,832 --> 00:55:05,824
Daddy? Why aren't you at work?

849
00:55:07,170 --> 00:55:10,731
Uh, because l had to come home and do...
l had to...

850
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:13,071
come home and take a shower.

851
00:55:14,077 --> 00:55:17,171
- Can we rent a movie?
- Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

852
00:55:17,247 --> 00:55:20,444
As soon as l get done up here
and dry off, l'll come down.

853
00:55:20,517 --> 00:55:22,314
OK.

854
00:55:24,721 --> 00:55:26,450
Oh, my God.
That was so close.

855
00:55:26,523 --> 00:55:28,821
What do we do now?
l'm wet.

856
00:55:35,899 --> 00:55:38,129
Sorry, Dad, l forgot again.

857
00:55:38,201 --> 00:55:39,759
(flushing)

858
00:55:41,371 --> 00:55:43,032
Shh!

859
00:55:50,413 --> 00:55:51,937
Hi, honey.

860
00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:55,280
You remember Maya.
From the video store.

861
00:56:07,764 --> 00:56:11,666
- What are your intentions?
- Excuse me?

862
00:56:11,735 --> 00:56:13,794
What are your intentions
with my father?

863
00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:15,861
Like, do you plan on marrying him?

864
00:56:16,306 --> 00:56:18,069
Uh... l don't...

865
00:56:18,141 --> 00:56:22,043
Because l was taught that only
married girls show their girl parts to boys.

866
00:56:22,112 --> 00:56:27,175
- Right, Daddy?
- Uh... right. Yes.

867
00:56:27,584 --> 00:56:29,313
Mm-hm.

868
00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:32,412
Can we rent all the movies we want
for free?

869
00:56:33,056 --> 00:56:34,045
What?

870
00:56:34,124 --> 00:56:36,649
Can we rent all the movies we want
for free?

871
00:56:36,726 --> 00:56:39,752
Yes! Yes, yes.
For God's sake, yes.

872
00:56:39,829 --> 00:56:44,129
lf it means we're not, you know,
that we're not in trouble anymore.

873
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:45,599
And... Right, Maya? Yes!

874
00:56:45,668 --> 00:56:47,863
Uh... whatever you want.
lt's on the house.

875
00:56:47,937 --> 00:56:50,735
Even Dirty Dancing?

876
00:56:56,212 --> 00:56:56,906
Yeah.

877
00:56:56,980 --> 00:56:59,676
And we can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school?

878
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:00,716
What?

879
00:57:00,784 --> 00:57:02,877
We can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school?

880
00:57:02,952 --> 00:57:06,615
- No, honey, that's too grown-up.
- Really?

881
00:57:07,624 --> 00:57:11,321
Oh man, what am l gonna tell Pop
about you guys?

882
00:57:15,698 --> 00:57:18,394
Fine. We can do Sweeney Todd
for the show at school.

883
00:57:18,468 --> 00:57:20,299
OK!

884
00:57:20,970 --> 00:57:23,871
Would you shut the hell up already?
Christ, Greenie, you're always...

885
00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:25,373
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh!

886
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:30,539
Christ Almighty.
You wearin' a... wearin' a towel?

887
00:57:32,048 --> 00:57:34,039
Just as long as you didn't do it
on my bed.

888
00:57:34,150 --> 00:57:38,553
Oh, Jesus Christ, it was one time in
high school! You wanna let it go already?

889
00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:42,751
l banged a broad
in my parents' bed once. lt was nice.

890
00:57:43,493 --> 00:57:47,657
Terrific. Just so you know,
we didn't ''bang''.

891
00:57:47,730 --> 00:57:49,721
- What, did ya get to third base?
- No!

892
00:57:49,799 --> 00:57:51,926
Not that it's any of your business,
but we didn't do anything.

893
00:57:52,001 --> 00:57:54,492
We lost our heads for a second,
then cooler heads prevailed

894
00:57:54,571 --> 00:57:57,131
and we stopped before we
did anything we'd both regret.

895
00:57:57,207 --> 00:58:00,005
- The kid busted in on 'em.
- Oh.

896
00:58:00,076 --> 00:58:02,510
Let's talk about something else
for a second, like this water main.

897
00:58:02,579 --> 00:58:04,877
- How bad is it?
- Definitely needs to be replaced.

898
00:58:04,948 --> 00:58:07,849
Jesus Christ. lf we gotta shut down
Bay Avenue for that,

899
00:58:07,917 --> 00:58:09,908
this town is gonna throw a shit fit.

900
00:58:09,986 --> 00:58:11,214
l'm sure.

901
00:58:11,287 --> 00:58:15,223
Hey, kid, you haven't had to inconvenience
the taxpayers on the job yet.

902
00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:18,192
They get like animals.
Remember back in '88?

903
00:58:18,261 --> 00:58:19,694
South Peak Street.

904
00:58:19,762 --> 00:58:23,163
Holy shit, l thought they were gonna
crucify us upside down.

905
00:58:23,233 --> 00:58:27,636
- Like St Peter.
- Who are you, the Holy Father?

906
00:58:27,704 --> 00:58:31,333
Everybody knows l meant St Peter.
You don't have to explain my shit.

907
00:58:31,407 --> 00:58:32,772
l'm just saying...

908
00:58:32,842 --> 00:58:34,969
When l was down there,
how many cars did you wave around?

909
00:58:35,044 --> 00:58:36,033
Three or four.

910
00:58:36,112 --> 00:58:39,707
Three or four cars
for the whole half hour l was down there?

911
00:58:39,782 --> 00:58:41,010
Well, it was rush hour.

912
00:58:41,084 --> 00:58:44,417
Yeah, l don't think the legion of commuters
in the Highlands of New Jersey

913
00:58:44,487 --> 00:58:49,515
are gonna object to us closing down a
small portion of Bay Avenue for a few days.

914
00:58:49,592 --> 00:58:52,857
- (gavel banging)
- One at a time, please! One at a time!

915
00:58:54,631 --> 00:58:57,657
- We're doing the best we can.
- (Bart) You were saying?

916
00:58:57,734 --> 00:59:02,194
Why doesn't somebody just go up there
and explain to them what's happening?

917
00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:04,832
Why don't you do it, Daddy?
Wasn't that your old job?

918
00:59:04,908 --> 00:59:08,309
Making people like singers
by saying nice things about 'em?

919
00:59:09,045 --> 00:59:12,742
- Yes, baby, but...
- No, the kid's got a point there.

920
00:59:12,815 --> 00:59:14,874
As a guy who used to
sling bullshit for a living,

921
00:59:14,951 --> 00:59:17,385
l nominate you to go up there
and say something.

922
00:59:17,453 --> 00:59:18,977
- Oh, you do, huh?
- Yeah.

923
00:59:19,055 --> 00:59:21,853
- lt can't hurt.
- Go ahead.

924
00:59:24,027 --> 00:59:26,257
Thanks, Pop.

925
00:59:26,329 --> 00:59:27,921
(angry shouting)

926
00:59:27,997 --> 00:59:30,090
(comptroller) Control yourselves!

927
00:59:31,434 --> 00:59:33,425
He's goin' up there.

928
00:59:36,639 --> 00:59:39,938
Folks, one second.
Please. Folks.

929
00:59:40,009 --> 00:59:44,139
My name's Oliver Trinke
and l'm with the borough.

930
00:59:44,213 --> 00:59:47,182
So l guess that makes me
the least popular guy in the room.

931
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:51,417
(chuckling)

932
00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,384
l want to assure you that, uh...

933
00:59:56,459 --> 01:00:00,623
this Bay Avenue job will be
a very minimal inconvenience.

934
01:00:00,697 --> 01:00:02,688
lt'll only take three days at the most.

935
01:00:02,765 --> 01:00:04,995
Bullshit! Bullshit!

936
01:00:05,068 --> 01:00:07,764
(murmurs of agreement)

937
01:00:07,837 --> 01:00:09,828
(angry shouting)

938
01:00:12,342 --> 01:00:13,809
(gavel banging)

939
01:00:13,876 --> 01:00:17,573
Folks, a little decorum!
A little decorum!

940
01:00:29,459 --> 01:00:31,222
Folks, one second.

941
01:00:31,294 --> 01:00:35,060
l just have one more thing
that l just want to add.

942
01:00:44,774 --> 01:00:47,868
l live in this town. l see you guys
headin' to work every day.

943
01:00:47,944 --> 01:00:50,504
(music playing)

944
01:01:14,437 --> 01:01:15,961
( Ollie) l'm telling you,
it was amazing!

945
01:01:16,039 --> 01:01:21,170
And l get up there and l weave this
web of bullshit so profoundly mesmerizing,

946
01:01:21,244 --> 01:01:24,680
- l turn the entire place around!
- You silver-tongued devil, you.

947
01:01:24,747 --> 01:01:28,649
Everything l was saying
was just right on the money, you know?

948
01:01:28,718 --> 01:01:32,552
Maybe that's 'cause you weren't actually
slinging as much bullshit as you thought.

949
01:01:32,622 --> 01:01:35,887
''Get out there and play in the dirt''?
l mean, what... l made that up!

950
01:01:35,958 --> 01:01:38,654
Sounds pretty good to me.
Hey, Gert.

951
01:01:38,728 --> 01:01:43,028
The sad thing is, l had a greater sense of
accomplishment from the water-main thing

952
01:01:43,099 --> 01:01:45,090
than anything else l've done
in the past seven years.

953
01:01:45,168 --> 01:01:48,160
l get it. l mean, you set out
to do something and you did it.

954
01:01:48,237 --> 01:01:50,831
So you feel drunk with power now.
Makes sense.

955
01:01:50,907 --> 01:01:54,274
That's just it. l was the youngest flack
ever put in charge of its entire division...

956
01:01:54,343 --> 01:01:55,742
(both) ...in the history of
MandellKirschner.

957
01:01:55,812 --> 01:01:57,746
- l know.
- That's an accomplishment.

958
01:01:57,814 --> 01:02:01,181
Convincing a town to approve something
that's already in their best interest?

959
01:02:01,250 --> 01:02:04,742
- That's just delayed common sense.
- Yeah, but that's your life now.

960
01:02:04,821 --> 01:02:08,348
l mean, being the youngest flack
in the history of blah, blah, blah...

961
01:02:08,424 --> 01:02:11,825
that's not you anymore.
l mean, that might never have been you.

962
01:02:11,894 --> 01:02:14,226
Oh, it was me.
lt was me with my own apartment,

963
01:02:14,297 --> 01:02:16,561
me richer, me with more self-respect.

964
01:02:16,632 --> 01:02:18,862
Like it or not, this is you.

965
01:02:18,935 --> 01:02:23,269
l mean, forget about what you thought
you were and just accept who you are.

966
01:02:24,273 --> 01:02:28,141
- l guess l'll just get this.
- Gert, what are you doing?

967
01:02:28,211 --> 01:02:32,113
l distinctly remember your father telling you
you could get Dirty Dancing.

968
01:02:32,181 --> 01:02:36,015
- Oh, yeah! He did!
- Yeah.

969
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,385
Thanks for that, by the way.

970
01:02:39,455 --> 01:02:43,152
lncidentally, she's been asking me
when she's gonna grow boobies like yours.

971
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:46,024
- Oh, my God!
- She's seven, OK?

972
01:02:46,095 --> 01:02:50,031
lf you want, l can give her the old ''boobie''
talk my mom gave me when l was a kid.

973
01:02:50,099 --> 01:02:52,897
Does that talk include
using the word ''knockers''?

974
01:03:00,910 --> 01:03:05,609
l'm glad there's no, you know,
awkwardness between us.

975
01:03:05,681 --> 01:03:10,880
After the... well, the thing
that happened last week with...

976
01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:13,444
Ollie, l was gonna give you a mercy jump.

977
01:03:14,090 --> 01:03:17,685
The moment passed.
lt's no big deal.

978
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:21,287
- Just friends, right?
- Yeah, friends.

979
01:03:23,065 --> 01:03:24,430
(sighs)

980
01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:27,867
''Mercy jump.''
Stay away from my kid.

981
01:03:31,674 --> 01:03:34,142
(electric saw)

982
01:03:35,812 --> 01:03:38,747
- No, that's too round.
- Shut up.

983
01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:42,581
- Shut up! Shut up!
- Just make it...

984
01:03:42,652 --> 01:03:46,144
- Would you shut the hell up?!
- All right!

985
01:03:46,222 --> 01:03:49,055
There's people gettin'
their throats cut in this thing.

986
01:03:49,125 --> 01:03:50,422
Yep.

987
01:03:50,493 --> 01:03:53,053
And your father said
you could do this for the show?

988
01:03:53,129 --> 01:03:54,562
Yep.

989
01:03:55,264 --> 01:03:58,495
Why the hell would he
OK you singing this shit?

990
01:03:58,568 --> 01:04:02,095
Because l saw him and Maya
naked in the shower.

991
01:04:02,171 --> 01:04:03,934
Oh, yeah.

992
01:04:04,006 --> 01:04:06,497
Heh-heh! That'll do it.

993
01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:32,728
( Ollie) Can I speak with
an Arthur Brickman, please?

994
01:04:42,411 --> 01:04:44,777
- Ollie.
- Arthur.

995
01:04:44,847 --> 01:04:46,838
- Hey, man.
- How're you doin'?

996
01:04:46,916 --> 01:04:50,113
- Good. How are you?
- Good. Good to see you.

997
01:04:50,186 --> 01:04:54,247
You know, the town voted unanimously,
approved the water main, so...

998
01:04:54,323 --> 01:04:56,655
You were always great with a crowd.

999
01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:59,820
Well, except that...
that once, of course.

1000
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:03,229
But that's it. lt was the polar opposite
of the Fresh Prince incident.

1001
01:05:03,299 --> 01:05:09,135
lt was like l was on the top of my game.
Which is why l wanted to see ya.

1002
01:05:09,205 --> 01:05:13,039
- Uh, l wanna ask you a favor.
- Anything, man. What?

1003
01:05:13,109 --> 01:05:17,273
ls there any way that you could
get me an interview with your firm?

1004
01:05:21,317 --> 01:05:23,785
You're serious?

1005
01:05:23,853 --> 01:05:26,185
l thought it was weird
that you wanted to eat here.

1006
01:05:26,255 --> 01:05:29,281
- Oh, l know it's gonna be tough...
- Tough?

1007
01:05:29,358 --> 01:05:33,954
Ollie, you called a roomful of press
a bunch of jerk-offs,

1008
01:05:34,030 --> 01:05:36,897
and trashed a client who's one of
the biggest movie stars on the planet.

1009
01:05:36,966 --> 01:05:39,434
- He wasn't big then.
- No, but he is now.

1010
01:05:39,502 --> 01:05:42,335
You wanna know how big?
When l left MandellKirschner,

1011
01:05:42,405 --> 01:05:45,602
there were some firms that wouldn't
even look at my resume because l...

1012
01:05:45,675 --> 01:05:48,075
No offense,
but because l worked under you.

1013
01:05:49,946 --> 01:05:53,643
l've only been at Angellotti a year now...

1014
01:05:53,716 --> 01:05:57,117
You know what, man? Forget l asked.
Don't worry about it. Seriously.

1015
01:05:57,186 --> 01:06:00,087
- lt was stupid. l got carried away...
- No, let me finish.

1016
01:06:00,156 --> 01:06:02,681
What l was gonna say was...

1017
01:06:02,758 --> 01:06:08,890
l've been waiting years to be in a position
to be able to help you out, and now l am.

1018
01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:11,798
lt's not gonna be an easy sell, but...

1019
01:06:11,867 --> 01:06:15,826
l think l can get you in a room
with Angellotti himself.

1020
01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:19,403
- Thank you so much.
- Of course.

1021
01:06:22,078 --> 01:06:24,239
You know, you're a lot more affectionate
than l remember.

1022
01:06:24,313 --> 01:06:28,113
Ah, it's just...
l miss it so much, you know?

1023
01:06:28,184 --> 01:06:30,675
lt's the only thing
l was ever any good at.

1024
01:06:30,753 --> 01:06:33,551
Oh, this is great.
l can move back here...

1025
01:06:33,622 --> 01:06:37,023
l can put Gertie in a really good,
expensive private school...

1026
01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:39,994
l can get her a nanny, you know?

1027
01:06:40,062 --> 01:06:44,260
lt'll be like that whole Fresh Prince thing
never even happened.

1028
01:06:44,333 --> 01:06:49,532
l'll work on the old man when l get back
to the office and call you tonight if it's a go.

1029
01:06:49,605 --> 01:06:50,936
Oh, great.

1030
01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:53,202
- (piano)
- ( Gertie) _ Excuse me

1031
01:06:53,275 --> 01:06:55,004
- ( Ollie) _ Psst
- _ Dear, see to the customers

1032
01:06:55,077 --> 01:06:56,977
- _ Psst
- _ Guess what's the...

1033
01:06:57,046 --> 01:06:58,980
- _ Quick now!
- _ My heart's a-flutter

1034
01:06:59,048 --> 01:07:00,948
- (phone rings)
- _ When l pound the floor

1035
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:02,712
_ lt's a signal to show
that l'm ready to go

1036
01:07:02,785 --> 01:07:06,448
_ When l pound the floor...
l have to get the phone.

1037
01:07:06,522 --> 01:07:09,423
Come on, Pop!
Do Dad's part.

1038
01:07:09,492 --> 01:07:11,050
- Me?
- Yeah.

1039
01:07:11,127 --> 01:07:12,719
Yeah, go do that.

1040
01:07:13,763 --> 01:07:16,323
Hello? Hey, Arthur.

1041
01:07:19,935 --> 01:07:22,199
You're kidding?

1042
01:07:25,841 --> 01:07:28,708
_ l'll pound three times
Three times...

1043
01:07:28,778 --> 01:07:32,407
Why do l have to sing your dad's part? l'm
supposed to be the guy who gets clipped.

1044
01:07:32,481 --> 01:07:36,542
- You are, but you're Dad's understudy too.
- What the hell is that?

1045
01:07:36,619 --> 01:07:38,849
lt means if Daddy breaks a leg,
then you do his part for him.

1046
01:07:38,921 --> 01:07:41,719
- So, come on, try it again.
- You're doin' good.

1047
01:07:41,791 --> 01:07:43,850
_ l'll pound three times...

1048
01:07:43,926 --> 01:07:45,587
_ Three times!

1049
01:07:45,661 --> 01:07:48,425
Wait, wait, wait! l'm supposed
to be the understudy now.

1050
01:07:48,497 --> 01:07:49,964
l cannot work like this.
l'm sorry.

1051
01:07:50,066 --> 01:07:53,126
- This is no way to run a show.
- You were good.

1052
01:07:53,202 --> 01:07:55,568
You can go back to waiting
in the wings, Tommy Tune.

1053
01:07:55,638 --> 01:07:58,163
l'll be doin' my own singing
henceforth.

1054
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,435
- Who's Tommy Tune?
- Tommy Tune is a man

1055
01:08:00,509 --> 01:08:04,104
that you can get a chance to see
live and on Broadway

1056
01:08:04,180 --> 01:08:06,876
when we move back to New York City!

1057
01:08:09,185 --> 01:08:10,379
- What?
- What?

1058
01:08:10,453 --> 01:08:11,283
- What?
- What?

1059
01:08:11,353 --> 01:08:12,650
Yeah, what?

1060
01:08:12,721 --> 01:08:16,714
l was just on the phone with an old friend
that l worked with at MandellKirschner.

1061
01:08:16,792 --> 01:08:20,353
l had lunch with him and l asked him if he'd
get me an interview with his new firm.

1062
01:08:20,429 --> 01:08:24,195
Jesus, another interview, Ollie?
Come on, when are you gonna learn?

1063
01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:28,794
Well, smart guy, he just called me,
said he sat down with his boss,

1064
01:08:28,871 --> 01:08:31,066
sold me to his boss
like l was the cure for cancer.

1065
01:08:31,140 --> 01:08:35,270
lt just so happens that a little spot
has opened up in their music department.

1066
01:08:35,344 --> 01:08:38,074
Boom!
After six years of being a pariah,

1067
01:08:38,147 --> 01:08:40,206
l'm gonna get back in!

1068
01:08:40,282 --> 01:08:41,977
l'm talkin' about
no more street sweeper,

1069
01:08:42,051 --> 01:08:44,519
no more picking up garbage,
and no more water main!

1070
01:08:44,587 --> 01:08:47,522
l'm talking press lines,
l'm talking about parties!

1071
01:08:47,590 --> 01:08:49,990
l'm talking about a Westside address,

1072
01:08:50,059 --> 01:08:52,152
l'm talkin' about
a good school for Gertie!

1073
01:08:52,228 --> 01:08:53,889
But l already go to a good school.

1074
01:08:53,963 --> 01:08:58,730
Yes, honey, but you're gonna go to a
way, way better school in New York City.

1075
01:08:58,801 --> 01:09:01,395
You're gonna be able to take the
subway to school. Won't that be fun?

1076
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:03,665
But the subway's full of junkies
and mole-men.

1077
01:09:06,275 --> 01:09:08,402
- Well, they are.
- Don't listen to Pop.

1078
01:09:08,477 --> 01:09:10,502
What do l tell you?
He makes things up!

1079
01:09:10,579 --> 01:09:12,877
- You'll see. The subways are great.
- l don't wanna see.

1080
01:09:12,948 --> 01:09:16,406
l don't wanna go to a school up in the city.
l wanna go to my school.

1081
01:09:16,485 --> 01:09:19,010
Honey, it's gonna be too far of a drive
for me to come back down here

1082
01:09:19,088 --> 01:09:20,919
to take you to school
in New Jersey every morning.

1083
01:09:20,990 --> 01:09:23,925
So let's not move to the city.
Let's stay here with Pop.

1084
01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:27,929
Sweetheart, l'm too old
to be living with my father.

1085
01:09:27,997 --> 01:09:30,090
l need to get my own place.

1086
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:32,464
And Pop... l mean, look at him,
he's a mad-dog.

1087
01:09:32,535 --> 01:09:35,197
He doesn't want us around here
getting in his way, crampin' his style...

1088
01:09:35,271 --> 01:09:39,298
- Do you, Pop?
- That's all horseshit.

1089
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:40,865
You know... thanks, Pop.

1090
01:09:40,943 --> 01:09:43,503
l don't wanna move to the city.
l like it here.

1091
01:09:43,579 --> 01:09:46,377
Pop says you can live here
as long as you want.

1092
01:09:46,448 --> 01:09:49,076
Baby, remember when l took you
to see Sweeney Todd?

1093
01:09:49,151 --> 01:09:51,244
How much fun was that?
We had a good time, right?

1094
01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:54,187
l mean, if we move to New York City,
we can do that every night!

1095
01:09:54,256 --> 01:09:56,247
Except for the nights you're working,
of course.

1096
01:09:56,325 --> 01:09:58,293
You know what? Why don't you
shut up for a second, OK?

1097
01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:00,487
l'm trying to talk to my daughter.

1098
01:10:00,563 --> 01:10:02,963
You love New York City.
You told me you loved the city.

1099
01:10:03,032 --> 01:10:04,522
- No, l didn't.
- Oh!

1100
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,591
- l said it was OK.
- Jesus Christ!

1101
01:10:06,669 --> 01:10:10,799
l said l like Highlands better. Why would
you want some other job anyway, Dad?

1102
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:12,204
You get to ride the Batmobile!

1103
01:10:12,274 --> 01:10:15,209
Baby, Daddy doesn't wanna
drive the Batmobile!

1104
01:10:15,277 --> 01:10:18,212
Daddy wants to eat sushi!
Daddy wants to hail cabs!

1105
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:20,373
Daddy wants to have a doorman!

1106
01:10:20,449 --> 01:10:22,974
Daddy wants to lord it
over magazine editors!

1107
01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:28,285
Daddy loved his old job, and he's missed it
every day since he's been gone.

1108
01:10:28,357 --> 01:10:32,350
Daddy wants to do that job. Daddy doesn't
wanna pick up garbage forever!

1109
01:10:32,428 --> 01:10:34,828
But you told everybody at the meeting
that your job's good

1110
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:36,728
because you don't have to
wear a suit.

1111
01:10:36,799 --> 01:10:40,997
Yes, but Daddy was just saying that
to get them to say yes to a water main.

1112
01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:43,334
So you were just lying to everybody?

1113
01:10:44,473 --> 01:10:48,603
Look, OK, l'll tell you what.
l'll go to the meeting, all right?

1114
01:10:48,677 --> 01:10:51,168
lf l don't like what the man says,
then l won't take the job.

1115
01:10:51,247 --> 01:10:52,578
Now you're lying to me!

1116
01:10:52,648 --> 01:10:55,173
All right, look, young lady! l'm gonna
go to this job interview on Monday,

1117
01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:56,377
whether you like it or not.

1118
01:10:56,452 --> 01:10:57,544
Wait, this Monday?

1119
01:10:57,620 --> 01:11:00,282
- Yes.
- Ollie, you can't go on Monday.

1120
01:11:00,356 --> 01:11:03,018
- Why?
- Because that's the day of my show!

1121
01:11:06,061 --> 01:11:10,521
Oh, shit.
lt is, isn't it?

1122
01:11:10,599 --> 01:11:14,091
Well, it's at four,
so l can, you know, make it back in time.

1123
01:11:14,169 --> 01:11:15,466
But my show's at five!

1124
01:11:15,537 --> 01:11:17,801
On what planet are you gonna
get back here by five

1125
01:11:17,873 --> 01:11:19,602
if you've got a meeting
in the city at four?

1126
01:11:19,675 --> 01:11:21,802
Just lay off me for a second!
l forgot about the show.

1127
01:11:21,877 --> 01:11:24,072
How could you forget?
What, are you stupid?

1128
01:11:24,146 --> 01:11:26,410
Gertie, this job
is very important to Daddy.

1129
01:11:26,482 --> 01:11:28,814
What about my show?
lsn't that important to you?

1130
01:11:28,884 --> 01:11:30,784
Yes, honey,
that's even more important to me.

1131
01:11:30,853 --> 01:11:34,653
Then don't go to your stupid meeting about
your stupid new job in the stupid city!

1132
01:11:34,723 --> 01:11:37,783
- That's enough, young lady!
- l don't even want you in the show!

1133
01:11:37,860 --> 01:11:39,623
You're not even a good
Sweeney Todd anyway.

1134
01:11:39,695 --> 01:11:42,926
Pop's way better. Even Uncle Greenie
and Uncle Block are better than you.

1135
01:11:42,998 --> 01:11:44,829
Those men are not your uncles!

1136
01:11:44,900 --> 01:11:47,664
Oh, no, but we're good enough
to build sets for her show, right?

1137
01:11:47,736 --> 01:11:50,227
Sorry, l didn't mean that.
Where are you going?

1138
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:53,833
l don't wanna be around you! l don't even
want you to come to the show to watch it.

1139
01:11:53,909 --> 01:11:58,312
- Oh, come on!
- l don't! l don't even like you anymore!

1140
01:11:58,380 --> 01:12:01,838
Get back here, young lady!
Hey! l'm talkin' to you!

1141
01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:04,511
Hey, young lady!
Get back here, young lady!

1142
01:12:04,586 --> 01:12:07,214
No! You can't tell me what to do!
l don't have to do anything you say!

1143
01:12:07,289 --> 01:12:08,483
- Yes, you do!
- Why?

1144
01:12:08,557 --> 01:12:09,990
Because l'm your father, that's why!

1145
01:12:10,059 --> 01:12:12,186
- So what?
- Don't you yell at me, Gertrude!

1146
01:12:12,261 --> 01:12:13,285
l'll yell at you all l want!

1147
01:12:13,362 --> 01:12:15,853
Blah, blah, blah!
l'm not moving to the stupid city!

1148
01:12:15,931 --> 01:12:18,991
All right, that's it! You are moving to the city
and you're gonna like it, and that's the end.

1149
01:12:19,068 --> 01:12:21,502
l hate you!
l wish you'd died, not Mommy!

1150
01:12:21,570 --> 01:12:23,003
l hate you right back, you little shit!

1151
01:12:23,105 --> 01:12:27,007
You and your mother took my
life away and l just want it back!

1152
01:12:36,051 --> 01:12:38,076
God, l'm sorry. l'm sorry, sweetheart.
l didn't mean...

1153
01:12:38,153 --> 01:12:39,313
- Get off me!
- l'm sorry...

1154
01:12:39,388 --> 01:12:41,379
Get off of me!

1155
01:12:48,764 --> 01:12:51,358
What the hell's the matter with you?

1156
01:12:51,433 --> 01:12:52,525
Huh?!

1157
01:13:01,810 --> 01:13:05,143
(_ ''Landslide'' by Fleetwood Mac)

1158
01:13:11,653 --> 01:13:15,350
_ I took my love and I took it down

1159
01:13:18,060 --> 01:13:21,461
_ I climbed a mountain
and I turned around

1160
01:13:22,998 --> 01:13:29,961
_ And I saw my reflection
in the snow-covered hills

1161
01:13:30,038 --> 01:13:34,338
_ Till the landslide brought me down

1162
01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:41,376
_ Oh, mirror in the sky what is love?

1163
01:13:42,718 --> 01:13:49,123
_ Can the child within my heart
rise above?

1164
01:13:49,191 --> 01:13:55,858
_ Can I sail through
the changing ocean tides?

1165
01:13:55,931 --> 01:14:02,734
_ Can I handle the seasons of my life?

1166
01:14:04,173 --> 01:14:07,574
_ Mm-mm... I don't know

1167
01:14:15,484 --> 01:14:21,252
_ Well, I've been afraid of changing

1168
01:14:21,323 --> 01:14:26,886
_ 'Cause I've built my life around you

1169
01:14:28,730 --> 01:14:32,131
_ But time makes you bolder

1170
01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:35,464
_ Children get older

1171
01:14:35,537 --> 01:14:40,600
_ And I'm getting older too

1172
01:14:49,685 --> 01:14:51,915
- Hey.
- Hey.

1173
01:14:52,754 --> 01:14:56,520
What happened to you the other night?
You just sort of took off.

1174
01:14:56,592 --> 01:14:59,117
lt looked to me like you guys
needed a little privacy.

1175
01:14:59,194 --> 01:15:01,492
What l really needed was a little backup.

1176
01:15:01,563 --> 01:15:04,396
She's a kid, Ollie.
Kids don't weather change well.

1177
01:15:04,466 --> 01:15:07,799
l mean, in a few years, you won't
be able to keep her out of Manhattan.

1178
01:15:07,870 --> 01:15:10,771
But for now,
she just wants what she knows.

1179
01:15:10,839 --> 01:15:11,828
So do l.

1180
01:15:11,907 --> 01:15:14,102
Yeah, but is that even
what you know anymore?

1181
01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:16,167
Oh, Jesus. You too?

1182
01:15:16,245 --> 01:15:20,079
You want your old life back. Big-money job,
out of your old man's house...

1183
01:15:20,148 --> 01:15:22,480
lt's not like it doesn't make any sense.

1184
01:15:23,352 --> 01:15:24,751
Yeah. So?

1185
01:15:24,820 --> 01:15:27,550
That's your life that you want back,
not theirs.

1186
01:15:27,623 --> 01:15:31,582
l mean, this is their life. What you're
sort of saying to everybody who loves you

1187
01:15:31,660 --> 01:15:33,719
is that what we have
isn't good enough for you.

1188
01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:36,389
So it's just upsetting everybody,
you know?

1189
01:15:37,032 --> 01:15:39,694
- Everybody?
- Oh... What, me?

1190
01:15:40,035 --> 01:15:43,971
l mean, it's not like we've got some
big romance going on or anything.

1191
01:15:44,039 --> 01:15:46,371
We're just friends, right?

1192
01:15:46,441 --> 01:15:51,071
Did you ever wonder if...
maybe someday it might...

1193
01:15:52,414 --> 01:15:55,542
be more than that?

1194
01:15:56,652 --> 01:16:01,612
For about two seconds, before you
had me hiding in the shower from your kid.

1195
01:16:01,690 --> 01:16:03,749
Look, Ollie, l like you, but...

1196
01:16:03,825 --> 01:16:07,022
l'm not gonna be all heartbroken
'cause you're leaving town.

1197
01:16:07,095 --> 01:16:08,392
l know.

1198
01:16:08,463 --> 01:16:10,761
Even if l took this job in the city,

1199
01:16:10,832 --> 01:16:16,998
l'd still come back down here
and visit my old man. And you.

1200
01:16:17,072 --> 01:16:22,237
Why? l mean, you think l'm gonna
stick around here for much longer?

1201
01:16:22,311 --> 01:16:24,745
- Maya...
- Ollie...

1202
01:16:26,114 --> 01:16:28,947
l gotta get back to work.

1203
01:16:30,085 --> 01:16:34,522
lf... if l don't...
if l don't see you at the show,

1204
01:16:34,590 --> 01:16:38,082
give me a call sometime when
you get all settled up in the big city.

1205
01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:39,525
Come on...

1206
01:16:45,934 --> 01:16:47,902
Shit.

1207
01:16:51,173 --> 01:16:53,869
(_ ''My City of Ruins''
by Bruce Springsteen)

1208
01:17:13,695 --> 01:17:16,220
_ Now there's tears on the pillow

1209
01:17:16,932 --> 01:17:18,900
_ Darling where we slept

1210
01:17:20,369 --> 01:17:23,964
_ And you took my heart when you left

1211
01:17:26,508 --> 01:17:32,447
_ Without your sweet kiss
my soul is lost, my friend

1212
01:17:32,514 --> 01:17:36,917
_ Tell me, how do I begin again?

1213
01:17:38,787 --> 01:17:42,382
_ My city's in ruins

1214
01:17:45,260 --> 01:17:49,026
_ My city's in ruins

1215
01:17:52,601 --> 01:17:55,695
_ Now with these hands

1216
01:17:56,104 --> 01:17:58,834
_ With these hands

1217
01:17:59,474 --> 01:18:02,034
_ With these hands

1218
01:18:02,611 --> 01:18:04,738
_ With these hands

1219
01:18:04,813 --> 01:18:06,303
_ I pray, Lord

1220
01:18:06,381 --> 01:18:09,009
_ (chorus) With these hands

1221
01:18:09,084 --> 01:18:12,349
- _ (chorus) With these hands
- _ I pray for the strength, Lord

1222
01:18:12,421 --> 01:18:16,983
_ (chorus) With these hands
With these hands

1223
01:18:17,059 --> 01:18:19,857
_ I pray for the faith, Lord

1224
01:18:22,197 --> 01:18:24,062
Hi, Daddy.

1225
01:18:24,132 --> 01:18:27,192
Hey, baby. l'm sorry.
l didn't mean to wake you up.

1226
01:18:27,269 --> 01:18:29,066
lt's OK.

1227
01:18:29,137 --> 01:18:33,631
Listen. l'm sorry -
for yelling at you the other night.

1228
01:18:34,476 --> 01:18:39,971
l was wrong. And l didn't mean
any of the things that l said.

1229
01:18:40,048 --> 01:18:43,040
l know. Neither did l.

1230
01:18:45,387 --> 01:18:48,185
- Daddy?
- Yeah?

1231
01:18:48,256 --> 01:18:50,918
Did Mommy like living in the city?

1232
01:18:52,060 --> 01:18:55,996
Yeah, she did.
She loved it.

1233
01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:58,992
Then l guess l'll love it too.

1234
01:19:00,135 --> 01:19:02,865
Thanks, sweetheart.

1235
01:19:03,705 --> 01:19:05,468
Thanks.

1236
01:19:08,643 --> 01:19:12,602
You know, l still might make it to your show
tomorrow, if the traffic's not too bad.

1237
01:19:12,681 --> 01:19:17,015
l won't be mad if you miss it.
l understand.

1238
01:19:17,953 --> 01:19:21,753
OK, sweetie. Go back to sleep.
l love you.

1239
01:19:24,326 --> 01:19:26,487
Good night, Daddy.

1240
01:19:28,363 --> 01:19:30,194
Good night.

1241
01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:33,792
- _ (chorus) With these hands
- _ I pray for my strength, Lord

1242
01:19:33,869 --> 01:19:39,171
_ (chorus) With these hands
With these hands

1243
01:19:39,241 --> 01:19:41,641
_ Come on, rise up

1244
01:19:43,478 --> 01:19:45,139
_ Come on, rise up

1245
01:19:45,580 --> 01:19:48,378
_ Come on, rise up

1246
01:19:48,817 --> 01:19:51,650
_ Come on, rise up

1247
01:19:52,120 --> 01:19:54,918
_ Come on, rise up

1248
01:19:55,290 --> 01:19:58,225
_ Come on, rise up

1249
01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:04,362
_ Come on, rise up

1250
01:20:06,368 --> 01:20:09,769
George Clooney's office
for Tony on line one.

1251
01:20:09,838 --> 01:20:12,773
The Angellotti Company.
One moment, please.

1252
01:20:12,841 --> 01:20:14,502
- Can l help you?
- Yes.

1253
01:20:14,576 --> 01:20:19,411
My name's Oliver Trinke and l'm here to
see Arthur Brickman and Mr. Angellotti.

1254
01:20:19,481 --> 01:20:20,311
OK.

1255
01:20:20,382 --> 01:20:22,475
Mr. Trinke is here.

1256
01:20:22,551 --> 01:20:24,143
OK, l will.

1257
01:20:24,219 --> 01:20:26,779
- They'll be about ten more minutes.
- OK.

1258
01:20:28,490 --> 01:20:31,482
- You can have a seat.
- Right, right...

1259
01:20:36,998 --> 01:20:38,295
Hello.

1260
01:20:38,366 --> 01:20:41,358
Oh, my God... Hi!

1261
01:20:41,436 --> 01:20:43,597
l'm here to see Brad.

1262
01:20:43,672 --> 01:20:45,765
Yes! He's expecting you, sir.

1263
01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:50,301
He apologizes, but he's stuck in traffic
He's just a few blocks away.

1264
01:20:50,378 --> 01:20:53,711
Why don't you just have a seat
and l'll let him know that you've arrived.

1265
01:20:53,782 --> 01:20:55,773
Thank you very much.

1266
01:21:08,730 --> 01:21:12,063
They love to keep you waiting, don't they?

1267
01:21:13,235 --> 01:21:17,865
- Excuse me?
- They love to keep you waiting.

1268
01:21:17,939 --> 01:21:20,908
Right. Yeah, yeah, they do.

1269
01:21:20,976 --> 01:21:24,002
l think they think it gives them
a psychological edge, you know?

1270
01:21:24,079 --> 01:21:26,639
Well, it's about to give 'em
the edge of my ass,

1271
01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:29,980
'cause that's all they're gonna see
when l'm walkin' out that door.

1272
01:21:30,051 --> 01:21:32,417
You know anything about these guys?

1273
01:21:32,487 --> 01:21:34,955
Only that they're the fastest-growing...

1274
01:21:35,023 --> 01:21:38,823
''...firm in the business.''
Yes, l read that article too.

1275
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:41,055
All right, well...
You know as much as l do.

1276
01:21:41,129 --> 01:21:43,290
l guess that means
they know what they're doing.

1277
01:21:43,365 --> 01:21:47,631
l suppose. Unless these publicists hire
other publicists to get the word out for 'em.

1278
01:21:47,702 --> 01:21:51,103
Right. And then those publicists
hire their own publicists

1279
01:21:51,172 --> 01:21:54,539
to help spin the good publicity
they created for these publicists.

1280
01:21:54,609 --> 01:21:57,373
Of course, knowing publicists,
they probably hire publicists

1281
01:21:57,445 --> 01:21:59,003
to promote the fact
that they spun the publicity

1282
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:02,846
that they hired the other publicists
to spin. So...

1283
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:05,751
- Oh man! So what do you do?
- l'm a publicist.

1284
01:22:08,356 --> 01:22:12,053
l didn't realize l was sitting here
talking to an Angellotti man.

1285
01:22:12,127 --> 01:22:15,722
Well, to tell you the truth,
l'm not an Angellotti man.

1286
01:22:15,797 --> 01:22:18,129
At least not yet.
l'm here trying to get a job.

1287
01:22:18,199 --> 01:22:23,227
These guys have been tryin' to steal me
from my publicist since my last flick.

1288
01:22:23,305 --> 01:22:26,274
- Oh, the robot movie, right?
- Oh, yeah, you saw it?

1289
01:22:26,341 --> 01:22:28,639
l haven't gotten around to it yet.
l'm gonna...

1290
01:22:28,710 --> 01:22:31,110
Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot
for the support though, man.

1291
01:22:31,179 --> 01:22:35,081
- l wanna see it...
- You know what? lt's not that good.

1292
01:22:35,150 --> 01:22:37,846
l have a kid. l don't get a chance
to get out and see movies

1293
01:22:37,919 --> 01:22:40,080
unless they have singing crabs in 'em.

1294
01:22:40,155 --> 01:22:42,851
Singing crabs? l saw that one.
That means you have a girl.

1295
01:22:42,924 --> 01:22:44,391
That's right.

1296
01:22:44,459 --> 01:22:46,518
- How old is she?
- She's seven.

1297
01:22:46,594 --> 01:22:49,154
Yeah? Cool.
l got a girl and two boys.

1298
01:22:49,230 --> 01:22:51,130
Three kids?

1299
01:22:51,199 --> 01:22:53,929
God. How do you find time
to make all those blockbusters?

1300
01:22:54,002 --> 01:22:55,526
Shoot, if l didn't have
all them damn kids,

1301
01:22:55,603 --> 01:22:57,468
l wouldn't have to
make these blockbusters.

1302
01:22:57,539 --> 01:22:59,234
Right.

1303
01:22:59,307 --> 01:23:01,298
Oh, man.

1304
01:23:01,910 --> 01:23:04,936
- lt's cool, though, isn't it?
- Making blockbusters?

1305
01:23:05,013 --> 01:23:08,676
- You tell me.
- Bein' a parent, funny man.

1306
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:12,453
lt has its moments.

1307
01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:14,886
- What's your daughter's name?
- Gertrude.

1308
01:23:15,256 --> 01:23:17,816
Damn!
Why'd you do that to that girl, man?

1309
01:23:19,060 --> 01:23:21,028
- Did you lose a bet?
- No.

1310
01:23:21,096 --> 01:23:25,362
- No, it was my wife's name.
- ''Was''? OK, let me guess.

1311
01:23:25,433 --> 01:23:29,802
She took you for half after she
saddled the kid with the name Gert?

1312
01:23:29,871 --> 01:23:33,466
l can't blame it on her.
l saddled the kid with the name Gert.

1313
01:23:33,541 --> 01:23:36,601
She died in childbirth. So...

1314
01:23:38,346 --> 01:23:41,110
- No, no, no, it's...
- l feel like an asshole, man.

1315
01:23:41,182 --> 01:23:44,583
- Don't worry about it.
- No, listen, l'm really sorry about that.

1316
01:23:44,652 --> 01:23:49,112
l didn't see your movie,
so we're even. Trust me.

1317
01:23:49,190 --> 01:23:53,183
This is exactly why people don't talk
to each other in waiting rooms, right?

1318
01:23:53,261 --> 01:23:56,230
Probably.
Although, l gotta tell ya...

1319
01:23:56,297 --> 01:24:00,597
the fact that the guy who wrote ''Parents
Just Don't Understand'' is now a parent

1320
01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:03,068
completely makes up for it.

1321
01:24:03,905 --> 01:24:05,463
Oh, man.
We don't though, do we?

1322
01:24:05,540 --> 01:24:07,735
- What's that?
- Understand.

1323
01:24:07,809 --> 01:24:12,337
l mean, these kids today.
From the door, man, they got it all over us.

1324
01:24:12,447 --> 01:24:16,213
My daughter has it all over me,
l can tell you that.

1325
01:24:16,284 --> 01:24:17,808
Yeah, my middle one, my son?

1326
01:24:17,886 --> 01:24:20,446
Every time l walk out of the house
in the morning

1327
01:24:20,522 --> 01:24:22,854
he says,
''Daddy, how far you love me?''

1328
01:24:22,924 --> 01:24:25,688
l always pick somewhere close.
''l love you to that table, man.''

1329
01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:30,094
''No, you don't. You love me all the way
to the moon and back down to the dirt.''

1330
01:24:31,566 --> 01:24:32,328
That's great.

1331
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:35,494
lt take everything l got
to walk out of that house.

1332
01:24:36,571 --> 01:24:38,630
You get to spend time with them
on the set though, right?

1333
01:24:38,706 --> 01:24:43,006
Oh, yeah. But if l was a smart man,
l wouldn't be sittin' here right now.

1334
01:24:43,078 --> 01:24:46,741
l'd be at home
playing in the dirt with my kids.

1335
01:24:48,550 --> 01:24:51,417
But we all know that l'm not famous
'cause of my brains.

1336
01:24:51,486 --> 01:24:56,355
lt's 'cause l'm, like,
strikingly handsome, crazy sexy.

1337
01:24:56,424 --> 01:25:00,451
And l'm, like,
hung like it's ridiculous.

1338
01:25:01,796 --> 01:25:06,824
Oh, man! But l'm definitely not
the sharpest spoon in the shed.

1339
01:25:09,237 --> 01:25:11,762
You know...

1340
01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:14,832
- lt was really nice talking to you.
- Oh, hey, you too, man.

1341
01:25:14,909 --> 01:25:17,571
- You out?
- l'm out.

1342
01:25:17,645 --> 01:25:19,579
Hey, you recommend these guys?

1343
01:25:19,647 --> 01:25:23,413
Uh... only guy l can recommend
is named Arthur Brickman.

1344
01:25:23,485 --> 01:25:25,544
Other than that,
l can't vouch for anybody.

1345
01:25:25,620 --> 01:25:28,714
Whoa, whoa, hold on.
You Brickman?

1346
01:25:29,858 --> 01:25:34,488
No. l'm just a guy who'd rather play
in the dirt with his kid.

1347
01:25:48,042 --> 01:25:51,307
- ( Gertie) _ Toby!
- _ Coming! 'Scuse me

1348
01:25:51,379 --> 01:25:53,506
- _ Ale there!
- _ Right, mum!

1349
01:25:53,581 --> 01:25:54,570
_ ( Gertie) Quick now!

1350
01:25:54,649 --> 01:25:56,549
(Maya & Gertie)
_ God, that's good!

1351
01:25:56,618 --> 01:25:59,143
You want some rouge,
or should l just pinch your cheeks?

1352
01:25:59,220 --> 01:26:02,917
Pinch my cheeks, kids' show or not,
l'll put you through the wall.

1353
01:26:09,430 --> 01:26:11,421
(applause)

1354
01:26:11,499 --> 01:26:13,524
(_ ''High'' by The Cure)

1355
01:26:15,637 --> 01:26:19,573
l'd like to welcome everyone
to Saint Maria Goretti's

1356
01:26:19,641 --> 01:26:22,132
Student/Family Fall Pageant.

1357
01:26:25,680 --> 01:26:29,514
This is a celebration of
your children and their talents,

1358
01:26:29,584 --> 01:26:31,484
so we hope you enjoy the show.

1359
01:26:31,553 --> 01:26:36,456
Our first act is first-grader Cynthia Bodnar
and her mother Jane,

1360
01:26:36,524 --> 01:26:41,291
performing the song ''Memory''
from the Broadway show Cats.

1361
01:26:47,335 --> 01:26:51,795
And now Tracy Colelli,
from Sister Ann's kindergarten class,

1362
01:26:51,873 --> 01:26:56,139
will perform with her parents
''Memory'' from Cats.

1363
01:27:09,991 --> 01:27:16,191
And now, first-grader Martin Tobias
and his mother will perform...

1364
01:27:16,264 --> 01:27:18,824
Oh, boy, this is a popular song.

1365
01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:21,391
...''Memory'' from Cats.

1366
01:27:34,349 --> 01:27:36,374
You gotta be kidding me!

1367
01:27:52,600 --> 01:27:56,366
You couldn't make it easy on me,
could you, Gert?

1368
01:28:15,089 --> 01:28:17,319
Honey, it's gonna be OK.

1369
01:28:18,459 --> 01:28:21,951
You're next, Gertie.
Break a leg.

1370
01:28:59,867 --> 01:29:04,236
And now, we have something
not from Cats. Thank God.

1371
01:29:04,305 --> 01:29:08,469
First-grader Gertrude Trinke
and her father, Oliver...

1372
01:29:08,543 --> 01:29:09,976
Psst!

1373
01:29:14,015 --> 01:29:17,382
- Just my grandfather.
- Oh.

1374
01:29:17,452 --> 01:29:22,014
l'm sorry. First-grader Gertrude Trinke
and her grandfather

1375
01:29:22,090 --> 01:29:25,287
will be performing
what l can only assume is a hymn,

1376
01:29:25,360 --> 01:29:30,798
entitled ''God, That's Good'',
from the musical Sweeney Todd.

1377
01:29:32,233 --> 01:29:34,224
(music starts)

1378
01:29:44,879 --> 01:29:48,906
_ Ladies and gentlemen,
may l have your attention, please?

1379
01:29:50,785 --> 01:29:52,650
_ Are your nostrils aquiver
and tingling as well

1380
01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:56,247
_ At that delicate,
luscious, ambrosial smell?

1381
01:29:56,324 --> 01:29:58,554
_ Yes, they are, l can tell

1382
01:29:58,626 --> 01:30:02,926
_ Well, ladies and gentlemen,
that aroma enriching the breeze

1383
01:30:02,997 --> 01:30:05,022
_ ls like nothing
compared to its succulent source

1384
01:30:05,099 --> 01:30:08,091
_ As the gourmets among you
will tell you, of course

1385
01:30:09,137 --> 01:30:13,597
_ Ladies and gentlemen,
you can't imagine the rapture and star

1386
01:30:13,674 --> 01:30:17,440
_ Just inside of this door

1387
01:30:19,781 --> 01:30:23,547
_ There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies

1388
01:30:23,618 --> 01:30:27,247
_ Savory and sweet pies, as you see

1389
01:30:27,688 --> 01:30:31,715
_ You who eats pies
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies

1390
01:30:31,793 --> 01:30:35,229
_ Conjure up the treat
pies used to be

1391
01:30:35,596 --> 01:30:38,588
- _ Toby!
- _ Coming! 'Scuse me...

1392
01:30:38,666 --> 01:30:40,531
- _ Ale there!
- _ Right, mum!

1393
01:30:40,601 --> 01:30:43,365
- _ Quick now!
- _ ( Greenie and Block) God, that's good!

1394
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,235
_ Nice to see you, dearie

1395
01:30:45,306 --> 01:30:47,467
_ How have you been keeping?

1396
01:30:47,542 --> 01:30:51,034
_ Cor, me bones is weary
Toby! One for the gentleman

1397
01:30:51,112 --> 01:30:54,309
_ Hear the birdies cheeping?
Helps to keep it cheery

1398
01:30:54,749 --> 01:30:56,740
_ Toby! Throw the old woman out!

1399
01:30:56,818 --> 01:30:58,479
_ ( Greenie and Block) God, that's good!

1400
01:30:58,553 --> 01:31:02,114
_ What's your budget, dearie?
No, we don't cut slices

1401
01:31:03,024 --> 01:31:05,015
Take this off.

1402
01:31:06,894 --> 01:31:09,988
_ ...me prices
l'm a little leery

1403
01:31:10,064 --> 01:31:11,964
_ Business couldn't be better, though

1404
01:31:12,033 --> 01:31:13,660
_ ( Greenie and Block) God, that's good!

1405
01:31:13,734 --> 01:31:15,634
_ Knock on wood

1406
01:31:15,703 --> 01:31:17,728
- _ Psst!
- _ Excuse me

1407
01:31:17,805 --> 01:31:19,636
- _ Psst!
- _ Dear, see to the customers

1408
01:31:19,707 --> 01:31:22,369
- _ Psst!
- _ Yes, what, love?

1409
01:31:30,585 --> 01:31:32,746
- _ Quick now!
- _ Me heart's a-flutter

1410
01:31:32,820 --> 01:31:34,811
- _ When l pound the floor...
- _ When you pound the floor

1411
01:31:34,889 --> 01:31:36,550
_ lt's a signal to show
that l'm ready to go

1412
01:31:36,624 --> 01:31:38,353
- _ When l pound the floor...
- _ When you pound the floor

1413
01:31:38,426 --> 01:31:41,361
- _ Will you trust me?
- _ l just want to be sure

1414
01:31:41,429 --> 01:31:46,162
_ When l'm certain that you're in place
l'll pound three times

1415
01:31:46,367 --> 01:31:48,767
_ Three times

1416
01:31:48,836 --> 01:31:51,498
_ And then you!

1417
01:31:51,572 --> 01:31:54,166
_ Three times!

1418
01:31:54,242 --> 01:31:56,472
_ lf you...

1419
01:31:56,544 --> 01:31:58,171
_ Exactly!

1420
01:31:58,246 --> 01:31:59,975
- _ More hot pies!
- _ God!

1421
01:32:00,047 --> 01:32:01,275
- _ More hot!
- _ Right!

1422
01:32:01,349 --> 01:32:03,681
_ (all) More pies! More!

1423
01:32:03,751 --> 01:32:05,548
_ Wait!

1424
01:32:17,365 --> 01:32:19,697
_ (all) God, that's good!

1425
01:32:32,146 --> 01:32:33,670
Shit.

1426
01:32:57,405 --> 01:33:00,636
- l love you, Daddy.
- l love you too.

1427
01:33:00,708 --> 01:33:02,699
l love you so much.

1428
01:33:02,777 --> 01:33:04,972
- You were great.
- You too.

1429
01:33:11,919 --> 01:33:13,910
You... guys...

1430
01:33:13,988 --> 01:33:16,786
- were... great!
- Ooh!

1431
01:33:18,526 --> 01:33:20,517
Oh, God!

1432
01:33:20,595 --> 01:33:22,995
Hey, Gertie!
Come dance with me.

1433
01:33:23,064 --> 01:33:27,160
- Bye, Uncle Greenie. Bye, Uncle Block.
- Bye, sweetheart.

1434
01:33:28,469 --> 01:33:30,835
- l'm startin' to like show business.
- Yeah.

1435
01:33:30,905 --> 01:33:35,933
Well, don't get caught up in the glory.
Tomorrow you're on shithouse duty.

1436
01:33:36,010 --> 01:33:41,312
- You know, sometimes l just wanna...
- Uh-huh.

1437
01:33:41,382 --> 01:33:44,613
l'm so tired of being your little geisha.

1438
01:33:44,685 --> 01:33:47,518
You had me worried there for a minute.

1439
01:33:47,588 --> 01:33:51,490
Yeah, who knew all those years
you were nursing a case of stage fright.

1440
01:33:51,559 --> 01:33:55,359
Not about that, smart ass.
About the other thing.

1441
01:33:55,930 --> 01:33:59,923
- About moving away.
- Come on, Dad.

1442
01:34:00,001 --> 01:34:02,060
Don't you wanna live alone again?

1443
01:34:03,004 --> 01:34:06,235
Not as much as
l don't wanna die alone.

1444
01:34:15,483 --> 01:34:17,474
We're not going anywhere, Pop.

1445
01:34:17,551 --> 01:34:21,146
(_ ''Let My Love Open The Door''
by Pete Townshend)

1446
01:34:25,026 --> 01:34:26,789
You wanna go over there
and cheer up your pop?

1447
01:34:26,861 --> 01:34:30,422
He's devastated about
missing his big singing debut.

1448
01:34:30,498 --> 01:34:32,489
Aw!

1449
01:34:32,566 --> 01:34:34,761
Pop!

1450
01:34:37,605 --> 01:34:39,630
Hey, Princess!

1451
01:34:40,541 --> 01:34:43,669
Look at you.
Mr. Big Hero of the Night.

1452
01:34:43,744 --> 01:34:48,238
Yeah, well, it might take me
longer than some, but l, uh...

1453
01:34:48,315 --> 01:34:50,647
- May l?
- Uh...

1454
01:34:50,718 --> 01:34:52,709
OK.

1455
01:34:54,288 --> 01:34:57,314
l like to think
l come around eventually.

1456
01:34:57,391 --> 01:35:00,588
Well, you showing up
when you did like that?

1457
01:35:00,661 --> 01:35:04,563
That was just about
the most romantic thing l've ever seen.

1458
01:35:06,133 --> 01:35:08,533
Honestly.

1459
01:35:08,602 --> 01:35:11,537
Well... stick around.

1460
01:35:13,507 --> 01:35:15,998
lt may get even
more romantic than that.

1461
01:35:16,077 --> 01:35:18,807
- Really?
- Yeah.

1462
01:35:22,349 --> 01:35:25,512
See? How was that for romance?

1463
01:35:28,956 --> 01:35:31,584
l'll think about it.

1464
01:35:33,394 --> 01:35:35,555
Do that.

1465
01:35:36,397 --> 01:35:38,592
Ollie Trinke...

1466
01:36:03,023 --> 01:36:04,285
Hey.

1467
01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:07,660
Your kid's cuttin' a rug with that Maya.

1468
01:36:08,329 --> 01:36:10,320
Uh...

1469
01:36:13,134 --> 01:36:16,535
The sun even shines
on a dog's ass some days.

1470
01:36:17,538 --> 01:36:19,665
You getting a dog?

1471
01:36:25,813 --> 01:36:27,576
Maya?

1472
01:36:27,648 --> 01:36:31,049
- Can l dance with my dad now?
- lf you must.

1473
01:36:31,118 --> 01:36:34,645
Don't let him go, though, Gert.
He's one of a kind.

1474
01:36:36,290 --> 01:36:38,315
l know.

1475
01:36:40,027 --> 01:36:42,621
Come here.

1476
01:36:42,696 --> 01:36:45,563
- You wanna dance?
- So, no city?

1477
01:36:46,066 --> 01:36:49,832
- No. No city.
- We're staying here with Pop?

1478
01:36:50,838 --> 01:36:53,602
God help us, yes,
we're staying with Pop.

1479
01:36:53,841 --> 01:36:58,608
- And you're taking me to see Cats?
- Oh-ho! Nice try, but no.

1480
01:37:00,047 --> 01:37:03,642
- Thank you, Daddy.
- Anything for you, Gert.

1481
01:37:04,652 --> 01:37:07,621
- You know why?
- Why?

1482
01:37:08,155 --> 01:37:11,352
'Cause you're the only thing
l was ever really good at.

1483
01:37:58,572 --> 01:38:00,938
(_ ''Jersey Girl'' by Bruce Springsteen)

1484
01:38:23,898 --> 01:38:28,562
_ I got no time for the corner boys

1485
01:38:29,637 --> 01:38:34,574
_ Down in the street
making all that noise

1486
01:38:36,043 --> 01:38:39,911
_ Or the girls out on the avenue

1487
01:38:41,682 --> 01:38:47,985
_ 'Cause tonight I wanna be with you

1488
01:38:48,055 --> 01:38:52,253
_ Tonight I'm gonna take that ride

1489
01:38:53,327 --> 01:38:58,094
_ Across the river to the Jersey side

1490
01:38:59,500 --> 01:39:03,129
_ Take my baby to the carnival

1491
01:39:05,105 --> 01:39:11,135
_ Then I'll take her on all the rides

1492
01:39:11,211 --> 01:39:16,706
_ 'Cause down the shore
everything's all right

1493
01:39:16,784 --> 01:39:22,245
_ You and your baby
on a Saturday night

1494
01:39:23,490 --> 01:39:27,187
_ You know all my dreams come true

1495
01:39:28,495 --> 01:39:33,899
_ When I'm walking
down the street with you

1496
01:39:33,968 --> 01:39:38,667
_ Sing sha la la la la la la

1497
01:39:40,574 --> 01:39:44,704
_ Sha la la la la la la la

1498
01:39:46,313 --> 01:39:50,511
_ Sha la la la la la la la

1499
01:39:51,919 --> 01:39:58,222
_ Sha la la
Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl

1500
01:39:58,292 --> 01:40:02,353
_ Sha la la la la la la la

1501
01:40:04,331 --> 01:40:08,131
_ Sha la la la la la la la

1502
01:40:10,204 --> 01:40:14,971
_ Sha la la la la la la la

1503
01:40:16,076 --> 01:40:20,012
_ Sha la la la la la

1504
01:40:21,515 --> 01:40:26,418
_ You know she thrills me
with all her charms

1505
01:40:27,654 --> 01:40:32,648
_ When I'm wrapped up
in my baby's arms

1506
01:40:33,460 --> 01:40:37,419
_ My little girl gives me everything

1507
01:40:39,199 --> 01:40:43,932
_ I know someday
that she'll wear my ring

1508
01:40:44,838 --> 01:40:50,071
_ So don't bother me, man,
I ain't got no time

1509
01:40:50,978 --> 01:40:56,416
_ I'm on my way
to see that girl of mine

1510
01:40:57,217 --> 01:41:01,347
_ 'Cause nothing matters
in this whole wide world

1511
01:41:02,923 --> 01:41:09,419
_ When you're in love with a Jersey girl

1512
01:41:09,496 --> 01:41:13,660
_ Sha la la la la la la

1513
01:41:15,269 --> 01:41:20,468
_ Sha la la la la la la la la la la la

1514
01:41:21,308 --> 01:41:26,575
_ Sha la la la la la la la

1515
01:41:26,647 --> 01:41:32,517
_ Sha la la
Well, I'm in love with a Jersey girl