1
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,965
This is your lunch, OK?
2
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,136
Now, I put a dollar in there
so you can buy some milk.
3
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,032
You can ask one of the big kids
where to do that.
4
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,707
You remember your phone number?
I wrote it down for you, just in case.
5
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:44,399
Put it in your pocket,
I don't want you to lose it.
6
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,369
OK? You ready?
7
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,844
I think so.
8
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,919
It's Cady's big day.
9
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:57,346
I guess it's natural for parents to cry
on their kid's first day of school.
10
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,219
But, you know, this usually
happens when the kid is 5.
11
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:03,760
I'm 16 and until today,
I was home-schooled.
12
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:06,932
I know what you're thinking.
"Home-schooled kids are freaks."
13
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:11,763
X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P.
Xylocarp.
14
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,269
Or that we're weirdly religious
or something.
15
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:18,978
And on the third day, God created
the Remington bolt-action rifle
16
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,579
so that Man could fight the dinosaurs.
17
00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,578
And the homosexuals.
18
00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:25,182
- Amen.
- Amen.
19
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,784
But my family's totally normal.
20
00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:29,955
Except for the fact that both my
parents are research zoologists
21
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,281
and we've spent the last
12 years in Africa.
22
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,854
I had a great life.
23
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:36,424
But then my mom got offered tenure
at Northwestern University.
24
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,995
So it was goodbye Africa
and hello high school.
25
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,895
I'm OK. Sorry.
26
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,504
I'll be careful.
27
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:13,763
Hi.
28
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,832
I don't know if anyone
told you about me.
29
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:18,333
I'm a new student here.
My name is Cady Heron.
30
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:21,405
Talk to me again
and I'll kick your ass.
31
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:29,440
You don't wanna sit there. Kristen
Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there.
32
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,448
Hey, baby.
33
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,520
He farts a lot.
34
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,664
Hey, everybody.
35
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:55,336
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
36
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,709
It's not you. I'm bad luck.
37
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,945
Ms. Norbury?
38
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,742
My T-shirt's stuck
to my sweater, isn't it?
39
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,887
- Yeah.
- Fantastic.
40
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,385
Is everything all right in here?
41
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,855
- Oh, yeah.
- So...
42
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,153
...how was your summer?
- I got divorced.
43
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,327
My carpal tunnel came back.
44
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:23,333
- I win.
- Yes, you do.
45
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,094
Well, I just wanted to let
everyone know
46
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:27,102
that we have a new student joining us.
47
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,034
She just moved here
all the way from Africa.
48
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,801
Welcome.
49
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:35,276
- I'm from Michigan.
- Great.
50
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:38,217
Her name is Cady. Cady Heron.
51
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,976
- Where are you, Cady?
- That's me.
52
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:42,746
- It's pronounced like Katie.
- My apologies.
53
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,583
I have a nephew named Anfernee,
54
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,089
and I know how mad he gets
when I call him Anthony.
55
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,124
Almost as mad as I get
when I think about the fact
56
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:50,956
that my sister named him Anfernee.
57
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,192
Well, welcome, Cady.
58
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:56,368
- And thank you, Mr. Duvall.
- Well, thank you.
59
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,968
And...
60
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,106
...if you need anything or if you
wanna talk to somebody...
61
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,535
Thanks.
62
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:06,140
Maybe some other time,
when my shirt isn't see-through.
63
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,305
OK.
64
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,710
OK. Good day, everybody.
65
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,181
The first day of school was a blur.
66
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:18,152
A stressful, surreal blur.
67
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,519
I got in trouble for the
most random things.
68
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,423
- Where are you going?
- Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.
69
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:25,458
You need the lavatory pass.
70
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:27,930
OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?
71
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,225
Nice try. Have a seat.
72
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,534
I had never lived in a world
where adults didn't trust me,
73
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,139
where they were always yelling at me.
74
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,968
- Don't read ahead!
- No green pen!
75
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,336
No food in class!
76
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:50,786
I told you, I saw the whole thing.
77
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,651
- Everything.
- Did you see nipple?
78
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:56,420
- It only counts if you saw a nipple.
- That's true, dude.
79
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,654
I had a lot of friends in Africa.
80
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:03,429
What?
81
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,627
But so far, none in Evanston.
82
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,679
Hey. How was your first day?
83
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,160
Is that your natural hair color?
84
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,601
- Yeah.
- It's gorgeous.
85
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,035
Thank you.
86
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,999
See, this is the color I want.
87
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,678
This is Damian.
He's almost too gay to function.
88
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,011
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice wig, Janis.
89
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,548
- What's it made of?
- Your mom's chest hair!
90
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:55,812
- I'm Janis.
- Hi, I'm Cady.
91
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,722
Do you guys know
where Room G 14 is?
92
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,826
"Health, Tuesday/Thursday,
Room G 14."
93
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,429
I think that's in the back building.
94
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:08,099
- Yeah, that's in the back building.
- Yeah, we'll take you there.
95
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,493
Thanks.
96
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:15,036
Watch out, please!
New meat coming through!
97
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,270
"Health. Spanish."
98
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,537
You're taking 12th-grade calculus?
99
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,511
- Yeah, I like math.
- Why?
100
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,611
Because it's the same
in every country.
101
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,454
That's beautiful. This girl is deep.
102
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,689
Where's the back building?
103
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,193
It burned down in 1987.
104
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,889
Won't we get in some
sort of trouble for this?
105
00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,925
Why would we get you into trouble?
106
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,827
We're your friends.
107
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,893
I know it's wrong to skip class,
but Janis said we were friends.
108
00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:47,698
And I was in no position
to pass up friends.
109
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:51,104
I guess I'll never know what I missed
on that first day of health class.
110
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:55,212
Don't have sex. Because you
will get pregnant and die.
111
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,110
Don't have sex
in the missionary position,
112
00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:58,749
don't have sex standing up.
113
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,416
Just don't do it, promise?
114
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,318
OK, everybody take some rubbers.
115
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:06,515
Why didn't they just keep
home-schooling you?
116
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,455
They wanted me to get socialized.
117
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,255
Oh, you'll get socialized, all right.
A little slice like you.
118
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,566
- What are you talking about?
- You're a regulation hottie.
119
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,766
- What?
- Own it.
120
00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:18,402
How do you spell your
name again, Cady?
121
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,936
It's Cady. C-A-D-Y.
122
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:22,840
Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady.
123
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:27,144
In the name of all that is holy, will you
look at Karen Smith's gym clothes?
124
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:30,008
Of course all The Plastics
are in the same gym class.
125
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,874
- Who are The Plastics?
- They're teen royalty.
126
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:36,282
If North Shore was Us Weekly,
they would always be on the cover.
127
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,081
That one there, that's Karen Smith.
128
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,658
She is one of the dumbest
girls you will ever meet.
129
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,354
Damian sat next to her
in English last year.
130
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,361
She asked me how to spell "orange".
131
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:50,300
And that little one?
That's Gretchen Wieners.
132
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:52,994
She's totally rich because
her dad invented Toaster Strudel.
133
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,798
Gretchen Wieners knows
everybody's business.
134
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,838
She knows everything
about everyone.
135
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,807
That's why her hair is so big.
It's full of secrets.
136
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:04,644
And evil takes a human
form in Regina George.
137
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:08,048
Don't be fooled, because she may seem
like your typical selfish, back-stabbing,
138
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:13,385
slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality,
she is so much more than that.
139
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:14,821
She's the queen bee.
140
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:17,587
The star. Those other two
are just her little workers.
141
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:19,389
Regina George.
142
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:22,534
How do I even begin
to explain Regina George?
143
00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:24,498
Regina George is flawless.
144
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,968
She has two Fendi purses
and a silver Lexus.
145
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,198
I hear her hair's insured
for $10,000.
146
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:32,206
I hear she does car commercials.
In Japan.
147
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,140
Her favorite movie is Varsity blues.
148
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,974
One time, she met John Stamos
on a plane.
149
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,672
And he told her she was pretty.
150
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,909
One time,
she punched me in the face.
151
00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:41,746
It was awesome.
152
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:45,082
She always looks fierce.
She always wins Spring Fling Queen.
153
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,259
- Who cares?
- I care.
154
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,291
Every year, the seniors throw
this dance for the underclassmen
155
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:50,757
called The Spring Fling.
156
00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:53,056
And whomsoever is elected
Spring Fling King and Queen
157
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,131
automatically becomes head of the
Student Activities Committee.
158
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:58,167
And since I am an active member
of the Student Activities Committee,
159
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,362
I would say, yeah, I care.
160
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:03,667
Damian, you've truly
out-gayed yourself.
161
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:08,639
Here. This map is gonna
be your guide to North Shore.
162
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:11,339
Now, where you sit in
the cafeteria is crucial
163
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,950
because you got everybody there.
164
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,712
You got your freshmen,
ROTC guys,
165
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,857
preps, JV jocks,
166
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,288
Asian nerds,
167
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:23,523
cool Asians,
168
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,193
varsity jocks,
169
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,590
unfriendly black hotties,
170
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,125
girls who eat their feelings,
171
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,595
girls who don't eat anything,
172
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,272
desperate wannabes,
173
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:35,969
burnouts,
174
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,243
sexually active band geeks,
175
00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:40,741
the greatest people
you will ever meet
176
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,516
and the worst.
Beware of The Plastics.
177
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:49,419
Hey. We're doing a lunchtime
survey of new students.
178
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,884
Can you answer a few questions?
179
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:54,054
- OK.
- Is your muffin buttered?
180
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,193
What?
181
00:09:57,063 --> 00:10:00,464
Would you like us to assign
someone to butter your muffin?
182
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,634
- My what?
- Is he bothering you?
183
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,803
Jason, why are you such a skeez?
184
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,562
I'm just being friendly.
185
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:08,572
You were supposed
to call me last night.
186
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,902
Jason. You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
187
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,603
and then scam on some poor, innocent
girl right in front of us three days later.
188
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,282
She's not interested.
189
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:18,745
Do you wanna have sex with him?
190
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:22,520
- No, thank you.
- Good. So it's settled.
191
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,314
So you can go shave your back now.
192
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,382
Bye, Jason.
193
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,423
Bitch.
194
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,461
Wait. Sit down.
195
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,459
Seriously, sit down.
196
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,398
Why don't I know you?
197
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:42,005
I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
198
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,673
- What?
- I used to be home-schooled.
199
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,242
Wait. What?
200
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,208
- My mom taught me at home...
- No, no.
201
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:49,881
I know what home-school is.
I'm not retarded.
202
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,209
So you've actually never been
to a real school before?
203
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,377
Shut up.
204
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,687
Shut up.
205
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,792
- I didn't say anything.
- Home-schooled.
206
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,325
- That's really interesting.
- Thanks.
207
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:04,996
But you're, like, really pretty.
208
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,423
- Thank you.
- So you agree.
209
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,362
- What?
- You think you're really pretty.
210
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:12,836
- Oh, I don't know...
- Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.
211
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,872
- Where did you get it?
- Oh, my mom made it for me.
212
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:18,669
- It's adorable.
- Oh, it's so fetch.
213
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:22,245
- What is "fetch"?
- Oh, it's, like, slang. From England.
214
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,881
So if you're from Africa...
215
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,145
...why are you white?
216
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,515
Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just
ask people why they're white.
217
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:32,213
Could you give us some privacy
for, like, one second?
218
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,222
Yeah, sure.
219
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,660
What are you doing?
220
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,558
OK, you should just know
that we don't do this a lot,
221
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,032
so this is, like, a really huge deal.
222
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,932
We wanna invite you
to have lunch with us
223
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,766
every day for the rest of the week.
224
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,908
- Oh, it's OK...
- Coolness.
225
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,338
So we'll see you tomorrow.
226
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,809
On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
227
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:57,215
Oh, my God!
OK, you have to do it, OK?
228
00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:00,044
And then you have to tell me all
the horrible things that Regina says.
229
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:02,116
Regina seems sweet.
230
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,888
Regina George is not sweet.
231
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,650
She's a scum-sucking road whore!
She ruined my life!
232
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,554
She's fabulous, but she's evil.
233
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,752
- Hey, get out of here!
- Oh, my God, Danny DeVito.
234
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:12,794
I love your work!
235
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:14,795
- Why do you hate her?
- What do you mean?
236
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,934
Regina. You seem to really hate her.
237
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:18,933
Yes. What's your question?
238
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,197
- Well, my question is, why?
- Regina started this rumor
239
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,274
- that Janis was...
- Damian! Shall we not?
240
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,138
Now, look. This isn't
about hating her, OK?
241
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,108
I just think that it would be, like,
a fun little experiment
242
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,874
if you were to hang out with them and
then tell us everything that they say.
243
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,142
- What do we even talk about?
- Hair products.
244
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,081
- Ashton Kutcher.
- Is that a band?
245
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:37,847
Would you just do it? Please?
246
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,789
OK, fine.
Do you have anything pink?
247
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,756
- Yes.
- No.
248
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:46,023
By eighth period, I was so happy
to get to math class.
249
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,632
I mean, I'm good at math.
I understand math.
250
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,734
Nothing in math class
could mess me up.
251
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,104
Hey, do you have a pencil
I can borrow?
252
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,434
I've only had one other
crush in my life.
253
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,611
His name was Nfume,
and we were 5.
254
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,146
It didn't work out.
255
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,413
But this one hit me like a big,
yellow school bus.
256
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,680
- Cady, what do you say?
- He was...
257
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,323
So cute.
258
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:18,222
I mean, A-sub-N equals
N plus one over four.
259
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:19,897
That's right.
260
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:22,067
That's good. Very good.
261
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,099
All right, let's talk
about your homework.
262
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,032
Hey. How was your second day?
263
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,536
- Fine.
- Were people nice?
264
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,304
- No.
- Did you make any friends?
265
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,509
Yeah.
266
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,175
Having lunch with The Plastics
was like leaving the actual world
267
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,876
and entering "Girl World".
268
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,112
And Girl World had a lot of rules.
269
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,223
You can't wear a tank top
two days in a row,
270
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:49,121
and you can only wear your
hair in a ponytail once a week.
271
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,063
So I guess you picked today.
272
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:55,458
Oh, and we only wear jeans
or track pants on Fridays.
273
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:59,001
Now, if you break any of these rules,
you can't sit with us at lunch.
274
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,196
I mean, not just you. Like, any of us.
275
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,204
OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today,
276
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,673
I would be sitting over there
with the art freaks.
277
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,074
Oh, and we always vote before we ask
someone to eat lunch with us
278
00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:13,080
because you have to be considerate
of the rest of the group.
279
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,479
Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt
without asking your friends first
280
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,849
- if it looks good on you.
- I wouldn't?
281
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,021
Right.
Oh, and it's the same with guys.
282
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:24,686
Like, you may think you like someone,
but you could be wrong.
283
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:28,060
A hundred and twenty calories and 48
calories from fat. What percent is that?
284
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,200
Forty-eight into 120?
285
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:33,030
I'm only eating foods with less than
30 percent calories from fat.
286
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,831
It's 40 percent.
287
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,203
Well, 48 over 120
equals X over 100,
288
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,742
and then you cross-multiply
and get the value of X.
289
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:43,542
Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries.
290
00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:49,014
So have you seen any guys
that you think are cute yet?
291
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,585
Well, there's this guy
in my calculus class...
292
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,621
- Who is it?
- It's a senior?
293
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,384
- His name's Aaron Samuels.
- No!
294
00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:58,563
Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels.
295
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,425
That's Regina's ex-boyfriend.
296
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,861
They went out for a year.
297
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,432
Yeah, and then she was devastated
298
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,035
when he broke up
with her last summer.
299
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:07,362
I thought she dumped him
for Shane Oman.
300
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,235
OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends
are just off-limits to friends.
301
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:12,808
I mean, that's just, like,
the rules of feminism.
302
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:17,840
Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina
what you said.
303
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,881
It'll be our little secret.
304
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:25,056
We define the sum
of the infinite geometric series...
305
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,088
Even though I wasn't
allowed to like Aaron,
306
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:29,989
I was still allowed to look at him.
307
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,624
And think about him.
308
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,991
And talk to him.
309
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:38,931
- Hey, Aar...
- Hey, you're the Africa girl, right?
310
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,365
- Yeah.
- I'm Kevin Gnapoor,
311
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,063
captain of the North Shore Mathletes.
312
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,403
We participate in math challenges
against other high schools in the state,
313
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,876
and we can get twice as much funding
if we've got a girl.
314
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:50,639
So you should think about joining.
315
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,340
- Oh, you'd be perfect for it.
- Yeah, definitely.
316
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,816
Great, great.
Let me give you my card.
317
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,588
OK, so think it over.
318
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,854
Because we'd like to get jackets.
319
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:06,221
OK.
320
00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:20,272
Hey!
321
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,007
Get in, loser. We're going shopping.
322
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:26,608
Regina's like the barbie doll
I never had.
323
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,185
I'd never seen anybody
so glamorous.
324
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,617
- So how do you like North Shore?
- It's good.
325
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,260
I think I'm joining the Mathletes.
326
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:37,690
- No! No, no.
- No, no.
327
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:40,456
You cannot do that.
That is social suicide.
328
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,294
Damn, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
329
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:57,709
Being at Old Orchard Mall kind of
reminded me of being home in Africa.
330
00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:01,215
By the watering hole.
When the animals are in heat.
331
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,591
Oh, my God, there's Jason!
332
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,492
Where? Oh, there he is.
333
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,530
- And he's with Taylor Wedell.
- I heard they're going out.
334
00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:20,330
Wait. Jason's not going out
with Taylor.
335
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,871
No. He cannot blow you off like that.
336
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,340
He's such a little skeez.
Give me your phone.
337
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,872
- You're not gonna call him, right?
- Do you think I'm an idiot?
338
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,648
No.
339
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,616
- Wedell on South Boulevard.
- Caller ID.
340
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,483
Not when you connect
from Information.
341
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:39,918
- Hello?
- Hello.
342
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,558
May I please speak
to Taylor Wedell?
343
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,387
She's not home yet. Who's calling?
344
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,563
Oh, this is Susan from
Planned Parenthood.
345
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:49,359
I have her test results. If you can have
her give me a call as soon as she can.
346
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,866
It's urgent. Thank you.
347
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,799
She's not going out with anyone.
348
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,567
OK, that was so fetch.
349
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:06,812
Mom.
350
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:21,295
Your house is really nice.
351
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,434
I know, right?
352
00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:25,193
Make sure you check out
her mom's boob job.
353
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:27,565
They're hard as rocks.
354
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,304
I'm home! Hey, Kylie.
355
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,334
Hey.
356
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,307
Hey, hey, hey!
How are my best girlfriends?
357
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,280
Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady.
358
00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:42,511
Hello, sweetheart.
359
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:46,224
- Hi.
- Welcome to our home.
360
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:52,528
Just want you to know, if you need
anything, don't be shy, OK?
361
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:55,632
There are no rules in this house.
I'm not like a regular mom.
362
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:58,428
I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?
363
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,104
- Please stop talking.
- OK.
364
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,399
I'm gonna make you girls
a "hump day" treat.
365
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,675
This is your room?
366
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:14,114
It was my parents' room,
but I made them trade me.
367
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,821
Hey, put on 98.8.
368
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,960
Cady, do you even know
who sings this?
369
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,232
- The Spice Girls?
- I love her.
370
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:28,694
She's like a Martian.
371
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:32,234
- God, my hips are huge!
- Oh, please. I hate my calves.
372
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:35,133
At least you guys can wear halters.
I've got man shoulders.
373
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:37,967
I used to think there
was just fat and skinny.
374
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,577
Apparently, there's a lot of things
that can be wrong on your body.
375
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:43,577
- My hairline is so weird.
- My pores are huge.
376
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:45,079
My nail beds suck.
377
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,355
I have really bad breath
in the morning.
378
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:56,019
Hey, you guys.
Happy hour is from 4 to 6!
379
00:19:57,796 --> 00:19:59,457
Thanks.
380
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:02,200
Is there alcohol in this?
381
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:05,859
Oh, God, honey, no. What kind
of mother do you think I am?
382
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:09,268
Do you want a bit? If you're gonna
drink, I'd rather you do it in the house.
383
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:10,998
- No, thank you.
- OK.
384
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:15,670
So, you guys, what is the 411?
385
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,475
What has everybody been up to?
386
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:21,710
What is the hot gossip?
Tell me everything.
387
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,047
What are you guys listening to?
What's the cool jams?
388
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,620
Mom.
389
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:28,224
- Could you go fix your hair?
- OK.
390
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:31,863
You girls keep me young.
Oh, I love you so much.
391
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,761
Oh, my God, I remember this.
392
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:40,097
- I haven't looked at that in forever.
- Come check it out, Cady.
393
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:41,533
It's our Burn Book.
394
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,571
See, we cut out girls' pictures
from the yearbook,
395
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,709
and then we wrote comments.
396
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,903
- "Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch."
- Still true.
397
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:52,572
- "Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin."
- Still half true.
398
00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:57,585
"Amber D'Alessio."
She made out with a hot dog.
399
00:20:57,956 --> 00:20:59,890
"Janis lan, dyke."
400
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,090
- Who is that?
- I think that's that kid Damian.
401
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:06,122
Yeah. He's almost too gay
to function.
402
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:09,059
That's funny. Put that in there.
403
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,431
Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK
when Janis said it.
404
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,240
And they have this Burn Book
where they write mean things
405
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,908
- about all the girls in our grade.
- What does it say about me?
406
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:21,438
- You're not in it.
- Those bitches.
407
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,342
- Will this minimize my pores?
- No. Cady,
408
00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:25,015
you gotta steal that book.
409
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,946
- No way!
- Oh, come on. We could publish it,
410
00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:29,620
and then everybody would see
what an ax-wound she really is.
411
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:32,517
- I don't steal.
- That is for your feet.
412
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:35,716
Cady, there are two kinds
of evil people.
413
00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:37,326
People who do evil stuff,
414
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:41,124
and people who see evil stuff
being done and don't try to stop it.
415
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:45,870
Does that mean I'm morally
obligated to burn that lady's outfit?
416
00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:47,704
Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury.
417
00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,339
I love seeing teachers
outside of school.
418
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:51,634
It's like seeing a dog
walk on its hind legs.
419
00:21:52,911 --> 00:21:54,811
Hey, guys, what's up?
I didn't know you worked here.
420
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:57,573
Yeah, moderately priced soaps
are my calling.
421
00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:00,681
- You shopping?
- No, I'm just here with my boyfriend.
422
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,616
Joking. Sometimes older people
make jokes.
423
00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:09,385
My nana takes her wig off
when she's drunk.
424
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:11,687
Your nana and I have that
in common.
425
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,593
No, actually, I'm just here because
I bartend a couple nights a week
426
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,529
down at P.J. Calamity's.
427
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:19,400
Cady, I hope you do
join Mathletes, you know,
428
00:22:19,604 --> 00:22:20,969
because we start in a couple weeks
429
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,800
and I would love
to have a girl on the team,
430
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:25,306
just, you know, so the team
could meet a girl.
431
00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:27,478
- I think I'm gonna do it.
- Great.
432
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,943
You can't join Mathletes.
It's social suicide.
433
00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:32,446
Thanks, Damian.
434
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:36,209
Well, this has been
sufficiently awkward.
435
00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,355
And I'll see you guys tomorrow.
436
00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:40,149
- Bye.
- Bye.
437
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,522
Oh, man, that is bleak.
438
00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:45,594
So when are you gonna
see Regina again?
439
00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:47,861
I can't spy on her anymore.
It's weird.
440
00:22:48,066 --> 00:22:51,900
Come on, she's never gonna find out.
It'll be like our little secret.
441
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:56,831
- Hello?
- I know your secret.
442
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,270
Oh, God, busted.
443
00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,707
Just start apologizing and crying.
No, play it cool.
444
00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:02,504
Secret?
What are you saying about?
445
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,841
Gretchen told me
that you like Aaron Samuels.
446
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,245
I mean, I don't care,
do whatever you want.
447
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:09,784
But let me just tell you something
about Aaron:
448
00:23:09,988 --> 00:23:14,322
All he cares about is school
and his mom and his friends.
449
00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:16,790
- Is that bad?
- But if you like him...
450
00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:20,158
Whatever. I mean, I could talk
to him for you if you want.
451
00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:23,232
Really? You would do that? I mean,
nothing embarrassing, though, right?
452
00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:26,029
Oh, no, trust me.
I know exactly how to play it.
453
00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:30,465
But wait. Aren't you so mad
at Gretchen for telling me?
454
00:23:30,675 --> 00:23:32,040
- No.
- Because if you are,
455
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:35,441
you can tell me. It was a really
bitchy thing for her to do.
456
00:23:35,647 --> 00:23:38,616
Yeah, it was pretty bitchy,
but I'm not mad.
457
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:40,182
I mean, I guess she just
likes the attention.
458
00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:42,012
See, Gretch? I told you
she's not mad at you.
459
00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:43,778
I can't believe you think
I like attention!
460
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,685
OK, love you. See you tomorrow.
461
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,420
I had survived my first
three-way calling attack.
462
00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:53,353
And with Regina's blessing, I started
talking to Aaron more and more.
463
00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:56,030
On October 3rd, he asked me
what day it was.
464
00:23:56,401 --> 00:23:57,993
It's October 3rd.
465
00:23:58,203 --> 00:24:00,068
Two weeks later, we spoke again.
466
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:01,967
It's raining.
467
00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:03,698
Yeah.
468
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,672
But I wanted things to move faster.
469
00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:08,243
So I followed my instincts.
470
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,177
Hey, I'm totally lost.
Can you help me?
471
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:12,611
- But I wasn't lost.
- Yeah.
472
00:24:12,818 --> 00:24:14,683
I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury
was talking about.
473
00:24:14,886 --> 00:24:17,855
It's a factorial, so you multiply
each one by N.
474
00:24:18,056 --> 00:24:19,284
Wrong.
475
00:24:19,491 --> 00:24:20,788
Is that the summation?
476
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,458
Yeah, they're the same thing.
477
00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:25,527
Wrong. He was so wrong.
478
00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:28,961
Thanks. I... I get it now.
479
00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:32,830
Lights, please.
OK. See you guys tomorrow.
480
00:24:34,739 --> 00:24:37,264
We're having a Halloween party
at my friend Chris' tonight.
481
00:24:37,843 --> 00:24:39,743
You wanna come?
482
00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:41,603
Yeah, sure.
483
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:44,043
Great. Here's where it is.
484
00:24:44,249 --> 00:24:46,547
It's a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
485
00:24:46,918 --> 00:24:48,351
OK.
486
00:24:48,553 --> 00:24:51,681
That flier admits one person only,
487
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:53,983
so don't bring some
other guy with you.
488
00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:56,018
"Grool."
489
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,959
I meant to say "cool"
and then I started to say "great".
490
00:24:59,264 --> 00:25:02,290
Right. Well... grool.
491
00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:05,533
See you tonight.
492
00:25:06,872 --> 00:25:09,898
Hey, Africa. You staying
for the Mathletes meeting?
493
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:12,139
Yeah, I'll be right back.
494
00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:17,713
OK, I lied. But I had to go home
and work on my costume.
495
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:21,242
In the regular world, Halloween is
when children dress up in costumes
496
00:25:21,453 --> 00:25:22,784
and beg for candy.
497
00:25:22,988 --> 00:25:25,548
In Girl World, Halloween
is the one night a year
498
00:25:25,757 --> 00:25:27,349
when a girl can dress
like a total slut
499
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:29,527
and no other girls can
say anything about it.
500
00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:31,559
The hard-core girls just wear lingerie
501
00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:33,355
and some form of animal ears.
502
00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:35,362
Doesn't she look great, honey?
503
00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:40,402
- What are you?
- I'm a mouse.
504
00:25:41,907 --> 00:25:44,398
Unfortunately, no one told
me about the slut rule.
505
00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:47,336
So I showed up like this.
506
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,775
Hey.
507
00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:59,519
Yes! Yes!
508
00:26:04,462 --> 00:26:05,952
Hey.
509
00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:08,261
Why are you dressed so scary?
510
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:10,429
It's Halloween.
511
00:26:10,635 --> 00:26:12,125
Have you seen Jason?
512
00:26:12,470 --> 00:26:14,563
You know who's looking fine tonight?
513
00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:16,798
Seth Mosakowski.
514
00:26:17,008 --> 00:26:20,774
- OK, you did not just say that.
- What? He's a good kisser.
515
00:26:20,979 --> 00:26:22,310
He's your cousin.
516
00:26:22,681 --> 00:26:24,273
Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
517
00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:26,651
- Right.
- So you have your cousins
518
00:26:26,851 --> 00:26:28,512
and then you have your first cousins,
519
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,280
- then you have your second cousins...
- No, honey.
520
00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:33,322
That's not right, is it?
521
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:35,117
That is so not right.
522
00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:37,318
- Hey!
- Hey.
523
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:38,996
You made it.
524
00:26:39,197 --> 00:26:43,156
And you are... a zombie bride.
525
00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:45,063
An "ex-wife".
526
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,295
Love it. Can I get you
something to drink?
527
00:26:47,505 --> 00:26:48,972
- Yeah.
- Be right back.
528
00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:50,903
Thanks.
529
00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:54,000
Karen, stop it.
530
00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:56,642
- Don't, Karen...
- Hey, Seth!
531
00:27:00,318 --> 00:27:01,580
Hey.
532
00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:03,481
Oh, no.
533
00:27:03,688 --> 00:27:05,019
Didn't anybody tell you?
534
00:27:05,223 --> 00:27:06,781
You were supposed
to wear a costume.
535
00:27:07,158 --> 00:27:10,127
Shut up. I need to talk to you.
536
00:27:10,328 --> 00:27:12,694
- You know that girl Cady?
- Yeah, she's cool.
537
00:27:12,897 --> 00:27:14,194
I invited her tonight.
538
00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:17,967
Well, be careful because
she has a huge crush on you.
539
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:20,531
Really? How do you know?
540
00:27:21,272 --> 00:27:23,001
Because she told me.
541
00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:25,676
She tells everybody.
It's kind of cute, actually.
542
00:27:25,877 --> 00:27:28,539
She's like a little girl. She, like,
writes all over her notebook,
543
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:30,078
"Mrs. Aaron Samuels."
544
00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:32,746
And she made this T-shirt that says
"I heart Aaron"
545
00:27:32,951 --> 00:27:34,782
and she wears it
under all her clothes.
546
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,216
- Oh, come on.
- Well, who can blame her?
547
00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:38,787
I mean, you're gorgeous.
548
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:43,017
And OK, look, I'm not saying
she's a stalker,
549
00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:45,753
but she saved
this Kleenex you used
550
00:27:45,964 --> 00:27:49,400
and she said she's gonna do
some kind of African voodoo with it
551
00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:51,262
to make you like her.
552
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:53,064
What?
553
00:27:57,442 --> 00:27:58,670
This was it.
554
00:27:58,877 --> 00:28:01,243
Regina said she would talk
to Aaron for me, and now she was.
555
00:28:01,446 --> 00:28:05,883
I know she's kind of socially retarded
and weird, but she's my friend,
556
00:28:06,084 --> 00:28:08,712
so just promise me
you won't make fun of her.
557
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,478
Of course I'm not gonna
make fun of her.
558
00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:12,749
How could Janis hate Regina?
559
00:28:12,957 --> 00:28:15,016
She was such a good...
560
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:17,255
Slut!
561
00:28:23,868 --> 00:28:26,359
What are you doing?
You broke up with me.
562
00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:29,401
That's crazy. Why would
I break up with you?
563
00:28:29,607 --> 00:28:31,802
You're so hot.
564
00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:40,446
That's a scary mask, bro.
565
00:28:40,919 --> 00:28:42,511
I had never felt this feeling before.
566
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:44,382
I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
567
00:28:44,589 --> 00:28:46,716
My stomach felt like it was
going to fall out my butt.
568
00:28:46,925 --> 00:28:49,985
I had this lump in my throat like
after you dry-swallow a big pill.
569
00:28:50,195 --> 00:28:52,925
I hated Regina. I hated her!
570
00:29:09,013 --> 00:29:10,503
She took him back.
571
00:29:10,715 --> 00:29:12,376
Regina took Aaron back.
572
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,777
- Oh, no, Cady.
- Why would she do that?
573
00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:17,614
Because she's a life-ruiner.
574
00:29:17,822 --> 00:29:19,551
She ruins people's lives.
575
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,851
When we were 13, she made
people sign this petition
576
00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:23,925
- saying that Janis was...
- Damian! Please!
577
00:29:24,129 --> 00:29:25,994
Look, she's not gonna get away
with this again, OK?
578
00:29:26,197 --> 00:29:28,859
- We're gonna do something.
- We are?
579
00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:32,726
Regina George is an evil dictator.
580
00:29:33,238 --> 00:29:35,297
Now, how do you overthrow a dictator?
581
00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:37,907
You cut off her resources.
582
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:41,237
Regina would be nothing without
her high-status man candy...
583
00:29:42,814 --> 00:29:44,338
...technically good physique...
584
00:29:46,017 --> 00:29:48,212
...and ignorant band of loyal followers.
585
00:29:50,655 --> 00:29:53,317
Now, Cady, if we want this to work,
586
00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:55,925
you are gonna have to keep hanging
out with them like nothing is wrong.
587
00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,754
Can you do it?
588
00:29:58,062 --> 00:29:59,324
I can do it.
589
00:29:59,531 --> 00:30:02,398
OK, let's rock this bitch.
590
00:30:03,935 --> 00:30:06,961
Pretending like nothing was wrong
turned out to be surprisingly easy.
591
00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:10,198
Regina wanted me to tell you that she
was trying to hook you up with Aaron,
592
00:30:10,408 --> 00:30:12,603
but he was just interested
in getting her back.
593
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,142
And that's not Regina's fault.
594
00:30:14,345 --> 00:30:16,677
- No, I know.
- OK, so you're not mad at Regina?
595
00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:18,439
- God, no.
- Oh, OK, good.
596
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:22,347
Because Regina wanted me
to give you this.
597
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:27,257
It's called
the South Beach Fat Flush,
598
00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:29,688
and all you drink is
cranberry juice for 72 hours.
599
00:30:29,894 --> 00:30:31,122
This isn't even cranberry juice.
600
00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,422
It's cranberry juice cocktail.
It's all sugar.
601
00:30:33,631 --> 00:30:36,725
- I wanna lose 3 pounds.
- You're crazy.
602
00:30:37,802 --> 00:30:41,294
Why do you wear your hair like that?
You hair looks so sexy pushed back.
603
00:30:41,606 --> 00:30:44,598
Cady, will you please tell him
his hair looks sexy pushed back.
604
00:30:44,809 --> 00:30:47,539
Regina was dangling Aaron
in front of me on purpose.
605
00:30:47,745 --> 00:30:50,145
I knew how this would be
settled in the animal world.
606
00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:01,086
But this was Girl World.
607
00:31:01,292 --> 00:31:03,055
Your hair looks sexy pushed back.
608
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:08,056
And in Girl World,
all the fighting had to be sneaky.
609
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:12,861
All this cranberry juice
is making me break out.
610
00:31:13,338 --> 00:31:15,704
Wait. I have this really good
skin stuff I'll bring you.
611
00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:16,874
OK.
612
00:31:17,408 --> 00:31:20,775
We kept our eyes open
for opportunities for sabotage.
613
00:31:27,085 --> 00:31:28,916
Regina.
614
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,610
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
615
00:31:35,093 --> 00:31:36,526
- Hey.
- Hey.
616
00:31:41,099 --> 00:31:43,761
Your face smells like peppermint.
617
00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:18,668
This is ass, you guys.
618
00:32:19,304 --> 00:32:23,070
It's been a month, and all we've done
is make Regina's face smell like a foot.
619
00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:24,502
I've been really busy with choir.
620
00:32:24,709 --> 00:32:26,267
We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners.
621
00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:28,206
We crack Gretchen,
and then we crack the lock
622
00:32:28,413 --> 00:32:30,108
on Regina's whole dirty history.
623
00:32:30,315 --> 00:32:31,839
- Say "crack" again.
- Crack.
624
00:32:32,050 --> 00:32:34,041
- All right, let's reconvene tonight.
- I can't.
625
00:32:34,252 --> 00:32:36,720
I have to go to Regina's
to practice for the talent show.
626
00:32:36,921 --> 00:32:39,788
- We're doing a dance to this song...
- "Jingle Bell Rock."
627
00:32:39,991 --> 00:32:41,219
You guys know that song?
628
00:32:41,426 --> 00:32:43,917
Everybody in the English-speaking
world knows that song.
629
00:32:44,128 --> 00:32:45,755
They do it every year.
630
00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:47,864
Well, I have to learn it.
631
00:32:48,066 --> 00:32:49,761
Go.
632
00:32:50,068 --> 00:32:52,935
- Hey.
- Why were you talking to Janis lan?
633
00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:54,536
I don't know, I mean, she's so weird.
634
00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:57,572
She just, you know, came up to me
and started talking to me about crack.
635
00:32:58,376 --> 00:32:59,673
She's so pathetic.
636
00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:02,302
Let me tell you something
about Janis lan.
637
00:33:02,513 --> 00:33:04,037
We were best friends
in middle school.
638
00:33:04,248 --> 00:33:05,476
I know, right?
639
00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:08,516
It's so embarrassing.
I don't even... Whatever.
640
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,314
So then in eighth grade, I started
going out with my first boyfriend,
641
00:33:11,522 --> 00:33:14,548
Kyle, who was totally gorgeous,
but then he moved to Indiana.
642
00:33:14,759 --> 00:33:17,159
And Janis was, like,
weirdly jealous of him.
643
00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:19,523
Like, if I would blow her off
to hang out with Kyle,
644
00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:21,722
she'd be like,
"Why didn't you call me back?"
645
00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:24,800
And I'd be like, "Why are you
so obsessed with me?"
646
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,767
So then, for my birthday party,
which was an all-girls pool party,
647
00:33:27,972 --> 00:33:31,908
I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you,
because I think you're a lesbian."
648
00:33:32,110 --> 00:33:34,510
I mean, I couldn't
have a lesbian at my party.
649
00:33:34,712 --> 00:33:36,771
There are gonna be girls there
in their bathing suits.
650
00:33:36,981 --> 00:33:38,471
I mean, right?
She was a lesbian.
651
00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:41,010
So then her mom called my mom
and started yelling at her.
652
00:33:41,219 --> 00:33:42,584
It was so retarded.
653
00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:45,051
And then she dropped out of school
because no one would talk to her.
654
00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:47,156
When she came back
in the fall for high school,
655
00:33:47,358 --> 00:33:49,849
all of her hair was cut off
and she was totally weird,
656
00:33:50,061 --> 00:33:51,392
and now I guess she's on crack.
657
00:33:53,064 --> 00:33:54,895
Oh, my God!
I love your skirt.
658
00:33:55,099 --> 00:33:56,828
Where did you get it?
659
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,593
It was my mom's in the '80s.
660
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,198
Vintage. So adorable.
661
00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:03,101
Thanks.
662
00:34:03,674 --> 00:34:05,835
That is the ugliest F-ing skirt
I've ever seen.
663
00:34:07,445 --> 00:34:10,073
Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.
Where did you get it?
664
00:34:13,451 --> 00:34:15,214
So are you gonna send
any candy canes?
665
00:34:15,420 --> 00:34:17,684
No. I don't send them,
I just get them.
666
00:34:18,189 --> 00:34:20,555
So you better send me one, byotch.
667
00:34:20,758 --> 00:34:21,986
Love you.
668
00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,894
I was definitely sending her one.
669
00:34:25,096 --> 00:34:27,724
I was gonna use three candy canes
to crack Gretchen Wieners.
670
00:34:27,932 --> 00:34:29,160
Three, please.
671
00:34:29,367 --> 00:34:33,030
"Why, Man, he doth bestride
the narrow world like a colossus"
672
00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:34,898
might translate into
673
00:34:35,106 --> 00:34:37,472
"Why is he so huge
and obnoxious?"
674
00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:43,541
- Candy cane-grams!
- OK, hurry up.
675
00:34:43,748 --> 00:34:46,376
Taylor Zimmerman?
Two for you.
676
00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:48,074
Glenn Cocco?
677
00:34:48,286 --> 00:34:51,983
Four for you, Glenn Cocco.
You go, Glenn Cocco.
678
00:34:52,190 --> 00:34:54,249
And Cady Heron.
679
00:34:54,459 --> 00:34:55,756
Do we have a Cady Heron here?
680
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,485
- It's Cady.
- Oh, Cady, here you go.
681
00:34:58,696 --> 00:35:02,097
One for you. And none
for Gretchen Wieners. Bye.
682
00:35:04,168 --> 00:35:05,396
Who's that from?
683
00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,197
"Thanks for being such
a great friend. Love, Regina."
684
00:35:08,406 --> 00:35:10,067
That's so sweet.
685
00:35:10,408 --> 00:35:12,774
OK, back to Caesar.
686
00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:15,145
Once Gretchen thought
Regina was mad at her,
687
00:35:15,346 --> 00:35:17,143
the secrets started pouring out.
688
00:35:17,348 --> 00:35:19,373
All I had to do was wait for one
we could use.
689
00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:21,051
Thank you.
690
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:25,747
Welcome to the North Shore
High School winter talent show.
691
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,619
Let me hear you make some noise.
692
00:35:33,531 --> 00:35:34,759
All right, settle down.
693
00:35:36,234 --> 00:35:39,567
Our first act calls himself
a star on the rise.
694
00:35:39,770 --> 00:35:42,034
Let's hear it for Damian.
695
00:35:47,945 --> 00:35:49,845
Don't look at me.
696
00:35:50,715 --> 00:35:54,651
Every day is so wonderful
697
00:35:55,086 --> 00:35:59,147
I mean, why would Regina send
you guys candy canes and not me?
698
00:35:59,357 --> 00:36:00,824
Maybe she forgot about you.
699
00:36:01,025 --> 00:36:02,890
Yeah, Regina has been acting
kind of weird lately.
700
00:36:03,094 --> 00:36:04,789
I mean, is something bothering her?
701
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:08,159
Well, I mean, her parents totally
don't sleep in the same bed anymore,
702
00:36:08,366 --> 00:36:09,628
if that's what you mean.
703
00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:13,128
Oh, my God.
Don't tell her I told you that.
704
00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:18,206
I am beautiful in every single way
705
00:36:18,409 --> 00:36:21,679
Yes, words can't bring me down
706
00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:22,668
Yes, words can't bring me down
707
00:36:23,614 --> 00:36:26,811
Don't you bring me down today
708
00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:29,179
I mean, no offense,
709
00:36:29,387 --> 00:36:31,014
but why would she send
you a candy cane?
710
00:36:31,222 --> 00:36:32,655
She doesn't even
like you that much.
711
00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:34,919
Maybe she feels weird around me
712
00:36:35,126 --> 00:36:38,391
because I'm the only person
that knows about her nose job.
713
00:36:39,297 --> 00:36:42,130
Oh, my God.
Pretend you didn't hear that.
714
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,067
Yo, yo, yo
715
00:36:44,268 --> 00:36:48,136
All you sucker MCs
Ain't got nothing on me
716
00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:50,330
From my grades to my lines
You can't touch Kevin G
717
00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:52,668
I'm a Mathlete
So nerd is inferred
718
00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:54,902
but forget what you heard
I'm like James bond the Third
719
00:36:55,112 --> 00:36:56,807
Shaken not stirred
I'm Kevin Gnapoor
720
00:36:57,014 --> 00:36:58,709
The G is silent
When I sneak in your door
721
00:36:58,916 --> 00:37:00,907
And make love to your woman
On the bathroom floor
722
00:37:01,118 --> 00:37:03,177
I don't play it like Shaggy
You'll know it was me
723
00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,446
because the next time you see her
She'll be like
724
00:37:05,656 --> 00:37:08,557
- Kevin G!
- Thank you, Kevin, that's enough.
725
00:37:08,759 --> 00:37:10,283
Happy holidays, everybody.
726
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,795
K.G. And the Power of Three.
727
00:37:18,669 --> 00:37:20,432
That was something.
728
00:37:21,138 --> 00:37:23,606
Does it bother you that they still
use your original choreography?
729
00:37:23,808 --> 00:37:25,036
Shut up.
730
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,870
Damn.
731
00:37:27,144 --> 00:37:28,702
- What?
- I'd rather see you out there
732
00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:30,141
shaking that thing.
733
00:37:33,117 --> 00:37:34,379
Gretchen, switch sides with Cady.
734
00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:36,551
But I'm always on your left.
735
00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:39,951
That was when there were three of us,
and now the tallest go in the middle.
736
00:37:40,157 --> 00:37:42,318
But the whole dance
will be backwards.
737
00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:44,050
I'm always on your left.
738
00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:47,231
And right now you're getting
on my last nerve. Switch.
739
00:37:48,866 --> 00:37:51,801
And finally,
please welcome to the stage
740
00:37:52,003 --> 00:37:54,995
Santa's Helpers doing
"Jingle Bell Rock".
741
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:10,118
Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
742
00:38:10,321 --> 00:38:13,882
Jingle bells swing
And jingle bells ring
743
00:38:14,091 --> 00:38:17,424
Snowing and blowing
Up bushels of fun
744
00:38:18,162 --> 00:38:21,689
Now the jingle hop has begun
745
00:38:21,899 --> 00:38:25,300
Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
746
00:38:25,503 --> 00:38:29,166
Jingle bells chime
In jingle bell time
747
00:38:29,373 --> 00:38:33,309
Dancing and prancing
In Jingle bell Square
748
00:38:33,511 --> 00:38:34,842
In the fr...
749
00:38:42,887 --> 00:38:44,184
Jason?
750
00:38:50,761 --> 00:38:54,629
What a bright time
It's the right time
751
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:57,665
To rock the night away
752
00:38:58,336 --> 00:39:03,069
Jingle bell time
Is a swell time
753
00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:06,539
To go riding in a one-horse sleigh
754
00:39:06,744 --> 00:39:10,180
Giddyap jingle horse
Pick up your feet
755
00:39:10,381 --> 00:39:13,748
Jingle around the clock
756
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:17,580
Mix and mingle in a jingling beat
757
00:39:17,788 --> 00:39:19,483
That's the jingle bell
758
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,180
That's the jingle bell
759
00:39:21,392 --> 00:39:24,691
That's the jingle bell rock
760
00:39:39,443 --> 00:39:40,671
That was the best it ever went!
761
00:39:40,878 --> 00:39:42,937
- That was awesome.
- Lip gloss.
762
00:39:43,514 --> 00:39:45,539
- Hey, good job, Africa.
- Thanks.
763
00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:48,085
Cady's blushing. Oh, my God.
764
00:39:48,285 --> 00:39:50,651
- You totally have a crush on that guy.
- No, I don't.
765
00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:52,584
That's why you wanted
to join the Mathletes.
766
00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:54,451
Mathletes? You hate math.
767
00:39:54,658 --> 00:39:56,285
Look how red she is.
768
00:39:56,494 --> 00:39:58,724
You love him. And he totally
complimented you.
769
00:39:58,929 --> 00:40:00,556
That is so fetch.
770
00:40:00,998 --> 00:40:03,296
Gretchen, stop trying
to make "fetch" happen.
771
00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:04,968
It's not going to happen.
772
00:40:10,307 --> 00:40:12,639
"Why should Caesar get to stomp
around like a giant
773
00:40:12,843 --> 00:40:16,779
"while the rest of us try not to get
smushed under his big feet?
774
00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:18,573
"What's so great about Caesar?
775
00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:20,444
"Brutus is just as cute as Caesar.
776
00:40:20,651 --> 00:40:22,278
"OK, Brutus is just
as smart as Caesar.
777
00:40:22,486 --> 00:40:24,852
"People totally like Brutus just
as much as they like Caesar.
778
00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:26,545
"And when did it become
OK for one person
779
00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:28,019
"to be the boss of everybody?
780
00:40:28,225 --> 00:40:29,692
"Because that's not
what Rome is about!
781
00:40:29,894 --> 00:40:32,692
"We should totally just stab Caesar!"
782
00:40:34,498 --> 00:40:36,728
Gretchen Wieners had cracked.
783
00:40:37,601 --> 00:40:41,230
OK, if you even knew how mean
she really is.
784
00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:44,832
You know that I'm not allowed
to wear hoop earrings, right?
785
00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:48,170
Yeah. Two years ago, she told me
that hoop earrings were her thing
786
00:40:48,379 --> 00:40:50,074
and that I wasn't allowed
to wear them anymore.
787
00:40:50,414 --> 00:40:52,609
And then for my Hanukkah,
my parents got me this pair
788
00:40:52,817 --> 00:40:55,581
of really expensive white-gold hoops.
789
00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:58,687
And I had to pretend
like I didn't even like them,
790
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,351
and it was so sad.
791
00:41:01,025 --> 00:41:02,549
And you know she cheats on Aaron?
792
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,955
Yes. Every Thursday he thinks
she's doing SAT prep.
793
00:41:05,162 --> 00:41:07,892
But really, she's hooking up with
Shane Oman in the projection room
794
00:41:08,098 --> 00:41:09,793
above the auditorium,
795
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,298
and I never told anybody that,
because...
796
00:41:12,503 --> 00:41:15,961
...l'm such a good friend.
797
00:41:18,342 --> 00:41:22,108
Jackpot. Gretchen's secret
had put the plan back in motion.
798
00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:24,178
After Christmas break,
we tried every Thursday
799
00:41:24,381 --> 00:41:26,508
to help Aaron catch Regina
in the act.
800
00:41:58,182 --> 00:41:59,410
Hey.
801
00:41:59,617 --> 00:42:01,107
Hey, what's up?
802
00:42:01,318 --> 00:42:02,876
My purse!
803
00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:05,382
Looks like he's headed
for the projection room
804
00:42:05,589 --> 00:42:07,216
above the auditorium!
805
00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:18,732
Coach Carr?
806
00:42:20,004 --> 00:42:21,699
Trang Pak?
807
00:42:21,906 --> 00:42:22,373
Guys, why did we think
we could do this? We're amateurs.
808
00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:24,136
Guys, why did we think
we could do this? We're amateurs.
809
00:42:24,341 --> 00:42:26,969
No, we just have to regroup.
Think outside our box.
810
00:42:27,177 --> 00:42:28,804
What are Kälteen bars?
811
00:42:29,013 --> 00:42:30,913
They're these weird
Swedish nutrition bars.
812
00:42:31,115 --> 00:42:34,050
My mom used to give them to the kids
in Africa to help them gain weight.
813
00:42:38,155 --> 00:42:41,022
They're these weird nutrition bars
my mom uses to lose weight.
814
00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:42,920
Give me it.
815
00:42:45,763 --> 00:42:48,231
It's all in, like, Swedish or something.
816
00:42:48,699 --> 00:42:50,860
Yeah, you know, there's some
weird ingredient in them
817
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:52,831
that's not legal in the U.S. Yet.
818
00:42:53,037 --> 00:42:54,937
- Ephedrine?
- No.
819
00:42:55,139 --> 00:42:57,266
- Phentermine.
- No.
820
00:42:58,809 --> 00:43:02,210
It burns carbs.
It just burns up all your carbs.
821
00:43:02,546 --> 00:43:04,912
I really wanna lose 3 pounds.
822
00:43:06,183 --> 00:43:07,616
Oh, my God,
what are you talking about?
823
00:43:07,818 --> 00:43:09,080
You're so skinny.
824
00:43:09,286 --> 00:43:10,651
Shut up.
825
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:13,049
The weird thing about
hanging out with Regina
826
00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:15,020
was that I could hate her,
and at the same time,
827
00:43:15,225 --> 00:43:16,556
I still wanted her to like me.
828
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,126
OK. You have really
good eyebrows.
829
00:43:19,330 --> 00:43:20,957
- Thanks.
- Move.
830
00:43:21,298 --> 00:43:23,892
Same with Gretchen.
The meaner Regina was to her,
831
00:43:24,101 --> 00:43:26,262
the more Gretchen
tried to win Regina back.
832
00:43:26,470 --> 00:43:28,870
She knew it was better to be
in The Plastics, hating life
833
00:43:29,073 --> 00:43:30,734
than to not be in at all.
834
00:43:31,175 --> 00:43:34,144
Because being with The Plastics
was like being famous.
835
00:43:34,678 --> 00:43:35,940
People looked at you all the time,
836
00:43:36,146 --> 00:43:38,410
and everybody
just knew stuff about you.
837
00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:40,777
That new girl
moved here from Africa.
838
00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:43,385
I saw Cady Heron wearing
Army pants and flip-flops,
839
00:43:43,587 --> 00:43:46,147
so I bought Army pants
and flip-flops.
840
00:43:46,357 --> 00:43:47,881
That Cady girl is hot.
841
00:43:48,092 --> 00:43:50,060
She might even be hotter
than Regina George.
842
00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:52,990
I hear Regina George
is dating Aaron Samuels again.
843
00:43:53,197 --> 00:43:56,064
The two were seen canoodling
at Chris Eisel's Halloween party.
844
00:43:56,266 --> 00:43:58,496
They've been inseparable ever since.
845
00:44:09,113 --> 00:44:10,512
I was a woman possessed.
846
00:44:10,714 --> 00:44:13,376
I spent about 80 percent
of my time talking about Regina.
847
00:44:13,584 --> 00:44:14,915
And the other 20 percent
of the time,
848
00:44:15,119 --> 00:44:16,814
I was praying for someone
else to bring her up
849
00:44:17,021 --> 00:44:18,818
so I could talk about her more.
850
00:44:19,023 --> 00:44:21,218
She's not even that good-looking
if you really look at her.
851
00:44:21,425 --> 00:44:23,325
I don't know.
Now that's she's getting fatter,
852
00:44:23,527 --> 00:44:24,960
she's got pretty big jugs.
853
00:44:25,162 --> 00:44:26,754
I could hear people
getting bored with me.
854
00:44:26,964 --> 00:44:30,400
But I couldn't stop. It just kept
coming up like word vomit.
855
00:44:30,801 --> 00:44:34,134
I have this theory that if you cut all her
hair off, she'd look like a British man.
856
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:37,307
Yeah, I know.
You told me that one before.
857
00:44:37,841 --> 00:44:39,103
Hey, I'm having an art show.
858
00:44:39,309 --> 00:44:41,368
So why don't you take
a night off from your double life.
859
00:44:41,578 --> 00:44:43,978
- I want you to see it.
- Coolness.
860
00:44:45,649 --> 00:44:46,877
What is that smell?
861
00:44:47,084 --> 00:44:48,915
Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
862
00:44:49,119 --> 00:44:51,019
You smell like a baby prostitute.
863
00:44:51,221 --> 00:44:52,483
Thanks.
864
00:44:53,891 --> 00:44:57,156
Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse
I could to talk to Aaron.
865
00:44:57,361 --> 00:44:59,989
I don't get this.
Do you get any of this?
866
00:45:00,431 --> 00:45:02,228
Nice job, Cady.
867
00:45:03,367 --> 00:45:05,494
Kind of seems like you get it.
868
00:45:05,769 --> 00:45:08,499
If I was gonna keep this going,
I was gonna have to really commit.
869
00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:12,674
Not your best.
870
00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:15,570
Damn, Africa, what happened?
871
00:45:15,779 --> 00:45:18,475
- How'd you do?
- Not so good.
872
00:45:18,682 --> 00:45:20,274
You know, I think I need a tutor.
873
00:45:21,018 --> 00:45:23,953
I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get
together after school or something.
874
00:45:24,154 --> 00:45:25,917
Do you think Regina would mind?
875
00:45:26,123 --> 00:45:27,681
No. You guys are friends.
876
00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:32,385
Well, maybe we just won't tell her.
877
00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:35,126
So, what did you get for this one?
878
00:45:35,332 --> 00:45:37,129
Well, the first time I did it,
I got a zero.
879
00:45:37,334 --> 00:45:40,167
- Wrong.
- But then when I checked it, I got...
880
00:45:40,370 --> 00:45:41,894
...one.
- There you go.
881
00:45:42,106 --> 00:45:43,698
I got one too.
882
00:45:44,341 --> 00:45:46,866
Yeah, you have to check it
because sometimes the product
883
00:45:47,077 --> 00:45:49,568
of two negative integers
is a positive number.
884
00:45:50,047 --> 00:45:52,242
Yeah, like negative four
and negative six.
885
00:45:52,916 --> 00:45:55,578
That's right. That's good.
886
00:45:55,786 --> 00:45:57,879
Well, you're a good tutor.
887
00:46:06,263 --> 00:46:10,597
Man, look, I... I can't do this.
888
00:46:10,801 --> 00:46:13,565
- It's not fair to Regina.
- Why do you like her?
889
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:16,467
Look, I know she can be really
mean sometimes, but...
890
00:46:16,673 --> 00:46:18,573
- Then why do you like her?
- Why do you?
891
00:46:19,143 --> 00:46:20,838
Look, there's good and bad
to everybody. Right?
892
00:46:21,044 --> 00:46:22,739
Regina's just...
893
00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:25,779
- She's just more up-front about it.
- Oh, no. It was coming up.
894
00:46:25,983 --> 00:46:27,712
The word vomit.
I didn't mean to say it, but...
895
00:46:27,918 --> 00:46:29,681
She's cheating on you!
896
00:46:31,855 --> 00:46:33,288
What?
897
00:46:37,861 --> 00:46:40,159
Did he say why?
898
00:46:40,364 --> 00:46:42,264
Somebody told him
about Shane Oman.
899
00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:44,164
Who?
900
00:46:44,368 --> 00:46:45,858
He said some guy
on the baseball team.
901
00:46:46,069 --> 00:46:48,196
Baseball team?
902
00:46:48,405 --> 00:46:51,806
I gave him everything.
I was half a virgin when I met him.
903
00:46:52,009 --> 00:46:53,533
You wanna do something fun?
904
00:46:54,378 --> 00:46:55,936
You wanna go to Taco Bell?
905
00:46:56,146 --> 00:46:59,479
I can't go to Taco Bell,
I'm on an all-carb diet.
906
00:46:59,683 --> 00:47:02,516
God, Karen, you are so stupid!
907
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:04,209
Regina, wait. Talk to me.
908
00:47:04,421 --> 00:47:07,515
- Nobody understands me.
- I understand you.
909
00:47:07,958 --> 00:47:09,550
You're not stupid, Karen.
910
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,955
No. I am, actually.
911
00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:14,357
I'm failing almost everything.
912
00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:16,499
Well, there must be something
you're good at.
913
00:47:18,302 --> 00:47:20,065
I can put my whole fist
in my mouth.
914
00:47:20,270 --> 00:47:21,498
Wanna see?
915
00:47:21,705 --> 00:47:23,536
No. That's OK.
916
00:47:23,740 --> 00:47:25,002
Anything else?
917
00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:27,840
I'm kind of psychic.
918
00:47:28,045 --> 00:47:29,910
I have a fifth sense.
919
00:47:30,681 --> 00:47:33,980
- What do you mean?
- It's like I have ESPN or something.
920
00:47:34,518 --> 00:47:37,817
My breasts can always tell
when it's gonna rain.
921
00:47:39,289 --> 00:47:41,849
Really? That's amazing.
922
00:47:42,793 --> 00:47:45,728
Well, they can tell when it's raining.
923
00:47:49,733 --> 00:47:51,564
I have to admit,
I was mildly horrified
924
00:47:51,768 --> 00:47:54,066
when Aaron didn't immediately
ask me to be his girlfriend.
925
00:47:54,271 --> 00:47:56,501
I mean, I know he was sad,
but how much time did he need?
926
00:47:56,707 --> 00:47:58,197
Regina had moved on.
927
00:48:01,011 --> 00:48:03,377
Do you guys need anything?
Some snacks?
928
00:48:03,914 --> 00:48:05,279
A condom?
929
00:48:05,482 --> 00:48:08,918
Let me know.
Oh, God love you.
930
00:48:09,119 --> 00:48:10,848
But overall, the plan
was going pretty well.
931
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:13,181
Aaron had dumped Regina,
and she was unknowingly
932
00:48:13,390 --> 00:48:15,051
eating 5,000 calories a day.
933
00:48:15,259 --> 00:48:17,318
It was time to turn our attention
to the army of skanks.
934
00:48:18,962 --> 00:48:21,732
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling Queen are as follows:
935
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,563
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling Queen are as follows:
936
00:48:23,934 --> 00:48:26,129
Regina George.
937
00:48:27,671 --> 00:48:29,696
Gretchen Wieners.
938
00:48:31,742 --> 00:48:32,970
Janis lan.
939
00:48:33,810 --> 00:48:35,971
What is happening to the world?
940
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,113
And the final nominee...
941
00:48:38,315 --> 00:48:40,806
I couldn't help myself.
It was so easy.
942
00:48:41,018 --> 00:48:42,246
... is Cady Heron.
943
00:48:42,986 --> 00:48:45,420
Damian, you put me in there too?
That's not part of the plan.
944
00:48:45,622 --> 00:48:47,249
I didn't put you in there.
945
00:48:47,457 --> 00:48:49,550
You mean I'm really nominated?
946
00:48:53,497 --> 00:48:56,057
In January, Regina had put
a Spring Fling dress on hold
947
00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:57,790
at a store called 1-3-5.
948
00:48:58,001 --> 00:48:59,992
But being Plastic,
she needed our advice
949
00:49:00,203 --> 00:49:01,431
before she could actually buy it.
950
00:49:01,638 --> 00:49:03,333
Can someone zip me up?
951
00:49:06,209 --> 00:49:08,769
- It won't close.
- It's a 5.
952
00:49:08,979 --> 00:49:10,606
OK, it must be marked wrong.
953
00:49:10,814 --> 00:49:13,681
Cady, all I've been eating are
these Kälteen bars. They suck.
954
00:49:13,884 --> 00:49:16,045
No, no, this is just how they work.
955
00:49:16,253 --> 00:49:17,618
This is all your water weight.
956
00:49:17,821 --> 00:49:20,449
First you bloat, and then you
drop 10 pounds like that:
957
00:49:21,224 --> 00:49:23,556
Well, the Kälteen bars
have burned up all your carbs,
958
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,489
and now your body's
just running on water.
959
00:49:25,696 --> 00:49:27,755
But once the water's gone,
then you'll be all muscle.
960
00:49:27,965 --> 00:49:29,660
It explains it all on the label.
961
00:49:29,866 --> 00:49:31,299
You know Swedish?
962
00:49:31,501 --> 00:49:34,129
Yeah, everyone in Africa
can read Swedish.
963
00:49:34,705 --> 00:49:36,764
Ma'am, do you have this
in the next size up?
964
00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:39,875
Sorry. We only carry
sizes 1, 3 and 5.
965
00:49:40,077 --> 00:49:41,305
You could try Sears.
966
00:49:53,290 --> 00:49:54,951
Cady.
967
00:49:55,158 --> 00:49:58,218
I need your parents to sign this
so they know that you're failing.
968
00:49:58,895 --> 00:50:00,123
Failing?
969
00:50:00,330 --> 00:50:02,230
You know what's weird
about your quizzes, Cady,
970
00:50:02,432 --> 00:50:05,196
is that all the work is right
and just the answers are wrong.
971
00:50:05,569 --> 00:50:07,764
- Really?
- Really.
972
00:50:07,971 --> 00:50:09,836
Cady, I know that having a boyfriend
973
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,873
may seem like the most important
thing in the world right now,
974
00:50:13,076 --> 00:50:15,704
but you don't have to dumb yourself
down to get guys to like you.
975
00:50:15,912 --> 00:50:17,504
- How would you know?
- I know,
976
00:50:17,714 --> 00:50:19,682
"How would I know", right?
977
00:50:19,883 --> 00:50:22,977
I'm divorced.
I'm broke from getting divorced.
978
00:50:23,186 --> 00:50:26,212
The only guy that ever calls my house
is Randy from Chase Visa.
979
00:50:26,790 --> 00:50:28,018
And you know why?
980
00:50:28,225 --> 00:50:30,785
Because I'm a pusher.
I push people.
981
00:50:30,994 --> 00:50:33,758
I pushed my husband into law school.
That was a bust.
982
00:50:33,964 --> 00:50:36,228
I pushed myself
into working three jobs.
983
00:50:36,433 --> 00:50:37,832
And now I'm gonna push you
984
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:39,935
because I know
you're smarter than this.
985
00:50:40,137 --> 00:50:42,264
Thanks, Ms. Norbury.
And if there's anything I can do
986
00:50:42,472 --> 00:50:43,837
for extra credit, please let me know.
987
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,406
Oh, I will.
988
00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:48,341
I hate her! I mean, she's totally
failing me on purpose
989
00:50:48,545 --> 00:50:50,172
because I didn't join
those stupid Mathletes!
990
00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:51,608
She was so queer.
991
00:50:51,815 --> 00:50:54,409
She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady.
I'm a pusher."
992
00:50:55,485 --> 00:50:56,713
What does that even mean?
993
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,911
- Like a drug pusher?
- Probably.
994
00:50:59,122 --> 00:51:00,646
She said she works three jobs.
995
00:51:00,857 --> 00:51:02,415
You know, I bet she sells drugs
on the side
996
00:51:02,626 --> 00:51:03,854
to pay for her pathetic divorce.
997
00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,926
You let it out, honey.
998
00:51:06,129 --> 00:51:08,097
Put it in the book.
999
00:51:12,803 --> 00:51:14,930
I know it may look
like I'd become a bitch,
1000
00:51:15,138 --> 00:51:17,572
but that's only because
I was acting like a bitch.
1001
00:51:17,774 --> 00:51:20,470
Hey, I called you last night.
How come you didn't call me back?
1002
00:51:20,677 --> 00:51:22,611
Oh, I got busy. Sorry.
1003
00:51:22,813 --> 00:51:25,304
So you need a ride to my art show
this weekend?
1004
00:51:25,949 --> 00:51:28,110
No. I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
1005
00:51:28,318 --> 00:51:29,842
I'm so sorry.
1006
00:51:30,053 --> 00:51:31,645
Well, you wanna
watch a movie tonight?
1007
00:51:31,855 --> 00:51:35,052
Can't. I'm doing major
Plastic sabotage tonight.
1008
00:51:35,292 --> 00:51:37,783
But we don't have anything
planned for tonight.
1009
00:51:37,994 --> 00:51:40,224
Oh, I planned this one on my own.
1010
00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:41,658
Love you. Bye.
1011
00:51:44,634 --> 00:51:45,862
Gretchen thinks you're mad at her
1012
00:51:46,069 --> 00:51:47,696
because she's running
for Spring Fling Queen.
1013
00:51:47,904 --> 00:51:50,964
Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her.
I'm worried about her.
1014
00:51:51,174 --> 00:51:53,199
I think somebody nominated her
as a joke or something.
1015
00:51:53,410 --> 00:51:56,470
And when nobody votes for her,
she's gonna have a total meltdown.
1016
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,978
And who's gonna have
to take care of her? Me.
1017
00:51:59,182 --> 00:52:02,549
So you don't think
anyone will vote for her?
1018
00:52:02,752 --> 00:52:04,515
Cady, she's not pretty.
1019
00:52:04,721 --> 00:52:06,848
I mean, that sounds bad,
but whatever.
1020
00:52:07,057 --> 00:52:09,116
The Spring Fling Queen
is always pretty.
1021
00:52:09,326 --> 00:52:11,385
And the crazy thing is
is that it should be Karen,
1022
00:52:11,595 --> 00:52:14,189
but people forget about her
because she's such a slut.
1023
00:52:14,397 --> 00:52:16,422
Anyway, I gotta go.
I'm going to bed.
1024
00:52:19,536 --> 00:52:21,902
Well, she's not mad at you.
1025
00:52:22,105 --> 00:52:24,733
- Hold on.
- Are you OK?
1026
00:52:32,015 --> 00:52:34,074
- Hello?
- If someone said something bad
1027
00:52:34,284 --> 00:52:35,979
about you, you'd want me
to tell you, right?
1028
00:52:37,287 --> 00:52:38,618
- No.
- What if it was someone
1029
00:52:38,822 --> 00:52:40,255
you thought was your friend?
1030
00:52:40,457 --> 00:52:42,448
What are you...?
Hold on. Other line.
1031
00:52:42,659 --> 00:52:44,650
- I'm not taking this anymore.
- Good for you, Gretch.
1032
00:52:44,861 --> 00:52:46,294
- Hello?
- Let's go out.
1033
00:52:46,496 --> 00:52:48,589
OK. Hold on. I'm on the other
line with Gretchen.
1034
00:52:48,798 --> 00:52:51,164
Don't invite Gretchen.
She's driving me nuts.
1035
00:52:51,368 --> 00:52:52,995
- Hold on.
- OK, hurry up.
1036
00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:55,332
It's Regina.
1037
00:52:55,539 --> 00:52:58,303
She wants to hang out with me
tonight, but she told me not to tell you.
1038
00:52:58,508 --> 00:53:00,135
Do not hang out with her.
1039
00:53:00,343 --> 00:53:02,937
- Why?
- You don't want me to tell you.
1040
00:53:03,146 --> 00:53:04,670
You can tell me. Hold on.
1041
00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:08,749
Oh, my God,
she's so annoying.
1042
00:53:08,952 --> 00:53:10,180
Who is?
1043
00:53:10,387 --> 00:53:12,412
- Who's this?
- Gretchen.
1044
00:53:12,622 --> 00:53:14,681
Right. Hold on.
1045
00:53:16,126 --> 00:53:20,563
- Oh, my God, she's so annoying.
- I know. Just get rid of her.
1046
00:53:22,432 --> 00:53:23,660
OK. What is it?
1047
00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:26,768
Regina says everyone hates you
because you're such a slut.
1048
00:53:27,537 --> 00:53:29,095
She said that?
1049
00:53:29,306 --> 00:53:31,069
You didn't hear it from me.
1050
00:53:32,108 --> 00:53:34,838
- Little harsh, Gretch.
- Whatever. She has a right to know.
1051
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:36,842
I can't go out.
1052
00:53:37,681 --> 00:53:39,080
I'm sick.
1053
00:53:39,282 --> 00:53:41,273
Boo. You whore.
1054
00:53:46,923 --> 00:53:48,686
Regina,
1055
00:53:48,892 --> 00:53:50,189
we have to talk to you.
1056
00:53:50,393 --> 00:53:52,088
Is butter a carb?
1057
00:53:52,596 --> 00:53:53,893
Yes.
1058
00:53:54,097 --> 00:53:56,759
Regina, you're wearing sweatpants.
1059
00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:58,195
It's Monday.
1060
00:53:58,935 --> 00:54:00,994
- So?
- So that's against the rules
1061
00:54:01,204 --> 00:54:02,694
and you can't sit with us.
1062
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:05,471
Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
1063
00:54:06,443 --> 00:54:08,206
They were real
that day I wore a vest.
1064
00:54:08,411 --> 00:54:11,403
- Because that vest was disgusting.
- You can't sit with us!
1065
00:54:18,321 --> 00:54:21,085
These sweatpants are all
that fits me right now.
1066
00:54:27,731 --> 00:54:29,028
Fine.
1067
00:54:29,232 --> 00:54:31,223
You can walk home, bitches.
1068
00:54:32,402 --> 00:54:35,030
Watch where you're going, fat-ass!
1069
00:54:42,612 --> 00:54:45,172
Gretchen and Karen followed me
around all afternoon.
1070
00:54:45,382 --> 00:54:47,612
- So, what are we doing this weekend?
- Yeah, what are we doing?
1071
00:54:47,817 --> 00:54:49,478
Oh, I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
1072
00:54:50,053 --> 00:54:51,645
What...?
1073
00:54:51,855 --> 00:54:53,447
We have tickets for this thing.
1074
00:54:53,657 --> 00:54:55,648
- What?
- What?
1075
00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:58,157
Was I the new queen bee?
1076
00:54:59,429 --> 00:55:00,794
I can try and get out of it.
1077
00:55:01,131 --> 00:55:02,359
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1078
00:55:02,565 --> 00:55:05,432
Because I told my friend Janis
I'd go to her art show.
1079
00:55:05,635 --> 00:55:07,626
We've had these tickets for months.
1080
00:55:07,837 --> 00:55:09,828
You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo.
1081
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,508
But she's my friend,
and I made her a promise.
1082
00:55:12,942 --> 00:55:15,672
I think Cady's old enough
to spend one night on her own.
1083
00:55:19,182 --> 00:55:22,310
I had learned how to control
everyone around me.
1084
00:55:23,286 --> 00:55:26,119
Hey. I'm having a small get-together
at my house tomorrow night.
1085
00:55:26,723 --> 00:55:29,317
- Is Regina going?
- No. Do you think I'm an idiot?
1086
00:55:29,526 --> 00:55:31,016
No, it's just gonna be
a few cool people,
1087
00:55:31,227 --> 00:55:32,660
and you better be
one of them, byotch.
1088
00:55:33,396 --> 00:55:35,296
- Fine, I'll go.
- Shut up.
1089
00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:37,489
I love that shirt on you.
1090
00:55:43,073 --> 00:55:46,167
Aaron Samuels was going to be
in my house at my party.
1091
00:55:46,376 --> 00:55:48,207
Everything had to be perfect.
1092
00:55:52,882 --> 00:55:54,372
And this time when Aaron saw me,
1093
00:55:54,584 --> 00:55:57,144
I wouldn't be caught
in some ridiculous costume.
1094
00:55:57,821 --> 00:55:59,049
Hey, guys.
1095
00:56:00,457 --> 00:56:02,186
- You look awesome!
- You look awesome!
1096
00:56:02,392 --> 00:56:03,825
I know, right?
1097
00:56:04,027 --> 00:56:06,120
OK, so I got enough cheese
and crackers for eight people.
1098
00:56:06,329 --> 00:56:08,058
Do you think that's enough?
1099
00:56:08,264 --> 00:56:10,095
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
1100
00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:11,892
OK.
1101
00:56:15,705 --> 00:56:16,933
It was not enough.
1102
00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:19,700
Somehow, the word had gotten out
about my small get-together.
1103
00:56:19,909 --> 00:56:21,934
Jason is here with Taylor Wedell.
1104
00:56:22,145 --> 00:56:23,942
He's just using her
to make you mad.
1105
00:56:24,147 --> 00:56:26,707
- Have you guys seen Aaron yet?
- No.
1106
00:56:28,451 --> 00:56:31,249
Dude, put on
"The Ramayana Monkey Chant".
1107
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:43,155
- Do I know you?
- Deek! What up, dog?
1108
00:56:49,839 --> 00:56:52,069
She thinks she's gonna have
a party and not invite me?
1109
00:56:52,275 --> 00:56:54,140
- Who does she think she is?
- You're right, hon.
1110
00:56:54,344 --> 00:56:56,835
I, like, invented her,
you know what I mean?
1111
00:57:04,954 --> 00:57:06,922
Jason.
1112
00:57:07,123 --> 00:57:08,613
I have to talk to you.
1113
00:57:09,793 --> 00:57:11,260
Whatever.
1114
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:14,355
- I love you.
- I know, I know.
1115
00:57:17,167 --> 00:57:19,931
Hey! Put that down!
1116
00:57:25,842 --> 00:57:27,867
Was Aaron blowing me off?
1117
00:57:35,084 --> 00:57:37,575
What's up?
Gretchen came to talk to me.
1118
00:57:37,787 --> 00:57:39,482
- Oh, no.
- Look,
1119
00:57:39,689 --> 00:57:43,125
I don't wanna hurt your feelings,
but I only date women of color.
1120
00:57:44,260 --> 00:57:45,659
I have to pee.
1121
00:57:58,641 --> 00:58:00,199
Get out.
1122
00:58:44,821 --> 00:58:46,049
- Hey.
- Hey.
1123
00:58:46,256 --> 00:58:47,587
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
1124
00:58:47,790 --> 00:58:49,087
Me too.
1125
00:58:51,227 --> 00:58:53,161
You look...
1126
00:58:53,796 --> 00:58:56,094
- New clothes?
- Thanks.
1127
00:58:57,400 --> 00:58:58,731
You wanna go downstairs?
1128
00:58:58,935 --> 00:59:01,267
No, no. Let's stay here.
1129
00:59:04,407 --> 00:59:05,931
Thanks for getting me
to come out tonight.
1130
00:59:06,142 --> 00:59:07,370
Yeah, sure, no problem.
1131
00:59:07,577 --> 00:59:10,546
I wasted too much time
being pissed off at Regina.
1132
00:59:10,747 --> 00:59:12,237
No more liars.
1133
00:59:12,448 --> 00:59:14,279
I would never lie to you.
1134
00:59:14,484 --> 00:59:16,247
I know, I know.
1135
00:59:16,452 --> 00:59:17,851
Although...
1136
00:59:18,054 --> 00:59:20,386
OK, listen.
I mean, I did lie to you once,
1137
00:59:20,590 --> 00:59:22,717
but you're totally gonna laugh
when I tell you, so...
1138
00:59:22,926 --> 00:59:24,553
Tell me what?
1139
00:59:25,929 --> 00:59:28,727
I pretended to be bad at math
so that you'd help me.
1140
00:59:28,932 --> 00:59:31,992
But the thing is,
I'm not really bad at math.
1141
00:59:32,201 --> 00:59:35,136
I'm actually really good at math.
You're kind of bad at math.
1142
00:59:35,705 --> 00:59:37,866
Anyways, now I'm failing.
Isn't that funny?
1143
00:59:38,341 --> 00:59:40,707
Wait. You're failing on purpose?
That's stupid.
1144
00:59:40,910 --> 00:59:43,572
No. Not on purpose.
Just, you know...
1145
00:59:43,780 --> 00:59:45,338
I just wanted a reason to talk to you.
1146
00:59:45,548 --> 00:59:47,175
So why didn't you just talk to me?
1147
00:59:47,383 --> 00:59:49,317
Well, because I couldn't.
Because of Regina.
1148
00:59:49,519 --> 00:59:51,077
Because you were her property...
1149
00:59:51,287 --> 00:59:53,414
- Her property?
- No. Shut up. Not her property...
1150
00:59:53,623 --> 00:59:55,113
No, don't tell me to shut up.
1151
00:59:55,325 --> 00:59:56,986
- I wasn't...
- God, you know what?
1152
00:59:57,427 --> 01:00:00,055
You are just like a clone of Regina.
1153
01:00:00,263 --> 01:00:02,925
Oh, no, no, listen to me.
You're not listening to me...
1154
01:00:03,132 --> 01:00:07,466
Oh, no. It was coming up again.
Word vomit. No, wait a minute...
1155
01:00:07,670 --> 01:00:10,468
- What is this?!
- Actual vomit.
1156
01:00:13,843 --> 01:00:15,208
Aaron!
1157
01:00:15,511 --> 01:00:17,570
Aaron, wait! Just...
1158
01:00:19,015 --> 01:00:21,575
OK. Call me.
1159
01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:29,383
- Oh, God.
- You dirty little liar.
1160
01:00:29,592 --> 01:00:31,423
I'm sorry. I can explain.
1161
01:00:31,628 --> 01:00:33,858
Explain how you forgot
to invite us to your party?
1162
01:00:34,063 --> 01:00:35,394
Janis, I cannot stop this car.
I have a curfew.
1163
01:00:35,598 --> 01:00:38,499
You know I couldn't invite you.
I had to pretend to be Plastic.
1164
01:00:38,701 --> 01:00:40,726
Hey, buddy, you're not
pretending anymore.
1165
01:00:40,937 --> 01:00:43,906
You're Plastic.
Cold, shiny, hard Plastic.
1166
01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:46,036
Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10.
1167
01:00:46,242 --> 01:00:47,937
Did you have an awesome time?
1168
01:00:48,144 --> 01:00:51,272
Did you drink awesome shooters
and listen to awesome music,
1169
01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:54,279
and then just sit around and soak up
each other's awesomeness?
1170
01:00:54,484 --> 01:00:55,815
You're the one who made me like this
1171
01:00:56,019 --> 01:00:58,351
so you could use me
for your eighth-grade revenge.
1172
01:00:58,554 --> 01:01:01,387
God! See, at least me and
Regina George know we're mean.
1173
01:01:01,591 --> 01:01:05,994
You try to act like you're so innocent.
Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa
1174
01:01:06,195 --> 01:01:08,186
"with all the little birdies
and the little monkeys."
1175
01:01:08,398 --> 01:01:11,196
You know what? It's not my fault
you're in love with me or something!
1176
01:01:11,401 --> 01:01:12,993
- What?!
- Oh, no she did not!
1177
01:01:13,202 --> 01:01:15,363
See? That is the thing
with you Plastics.
1178
01:01:15,571 --> 01:01:18,039
You think that everybody
is in love with you,
1179
01:01:18,241 --> 01:01:20,368
when actually, everybody hates you.
1180
01:01:20,576 --> 01:01:22,339
Like Aaron Samuels, for example.
1181
01:01:22,545 --> 01:01:24,376
He broke up with Regina
and guess what.
1182
01:01:24,580 --> 01:01:26,172
He still doesn't want you.
1183
01:01:26,382 --> 01:01:29,545
So why are you still messing
with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why.
1184
01:01:29,752 --> 01:01:33,313
Because you are a mean girl!
You're a bitch!
1185
01:01:34,223 --> 01:01:37,420
Here. You can have this.
It won a prize.
1186
01:01:39,796 --> 01:01:42,094
And I want my pink shirt back!
1187
01:01:42,298 --> 01:01:44,994
I want my pink shirt back!
1188
01:01:59,048 --> 01:02:00,481
Hon, slow down.
1189
01:02:00,683 --> 01:02:03,243
It's like I can't trust anyone anymore.
1190
01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:05,854
Why are you eating a Kälteen bar?
1191
01:02:06,055 --> 01:02:08,455
- I'm starving.
- Man, I hate those things.
1192
01:02:08,658 --> 01:02:12,094
Coach Carr makes us eat those when
we wanna move up a weight class.
1193
01:02:13,663 --> 01:02:14,925
What?
1194
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:18,132
They make you gain weight like crazy.
1195
01:02:19,335 --> 01:02:21,132
Mother...
1196
01:02:46,262 --> 01:02:52,599
This girl is the nastiest skank bitch
1197
01:02:52,802 --> 01:02:57,068
I've ever met.
1198
01:02:57,273 --> 01:03:05,908
Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!
1199
01:03:25,902 --> 01:03:31,238
I found it in the girls' bathroom.
It's so mean, Mr. Duvall.
1200
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:32,737
Is this true?
1201
01:03:32,942 --> 01:03:35,103
Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr?
1202
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:39,171
Good Lord.
1203
01:03:39,382 --> 01:03:41,873
What's that say?
"Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."?
1204
01:03:42,084 --> 01:03:43,745
Fat whore.
1205
01:03:46,856 --> 01:03:48,949
OK, calm down, Miss George.
1206
01:03:49,592 --> 01:03:53,119
Why would someone write that?
That's just so mean.
1207
01:03:53,596 --> 01:03:55,928
Don't worry, we're gonna
find out who did it.
1208
01:03:56,132 --> 01:03:58,692
There's only three girls
in the whole school who aren't in it.
1209
01:03:59,702 --> 01:04:02,227
At your age, you're gonna
be having a lot of urges.
1210
01:04:02,438 --> 01:04:05,635
You're gonna want to take off
your clothes and touch each other.
1211
01:04:06,008 --> 01:04:10,377
But if you do touch each other,
you will get chlamydia. And die.
1212
01:04:10,580 --> 01:04:11,979
Coach Carr.
1213
01:04:15,351 --> 01:04:17,819
Cady Heron, they wanna see you
in the principal's office.
1214
01:04:20,389 --> 01:04:24,519
All right, chlamydia. K-L-A...
1215
01:04:27,296 --> 01:04:29,264
In here, Miss Heron.
1216
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:40,734
- What's going on?
- Have a seat, Miss Heron.
1217
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:46,705
- Have you ever seen this before?
- No.
1218
01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:49,582
I mean, yes, I've seen it before,
but it's not mine.
1219
01:04:49,785 --> 01:04:51,480
You better get your story straight,
Miss Heron,
1220
01:04:51,687 --> 01:04:53,450
because I'm not messing
around here.
1221
01:04:53,656 --> 01:04:55,351
It's not ours, it's Regina's.
1222
01:04:55,591 --> 01:04:59,288
Yeah, she's trying to make it look
like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it.
1223
01:04:59,495 --> 01:05:05,730
Miss Wieners, why would Regina
refer to herself as a "fugly slut"?
1224
01:05:08,337 --> 01:05:11,033
Miss Smith, this is no time
to be laughing.
1225
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,435
We're gonna get to the bottom
of this right now.
1226
01:05:31,894 --> 01:05:35,352
Maybe we're not in that book,
because everybody likes us.
1227
01:05:35,564 --> 01:05:37,828
And I don't wanna be punished
for being well-liked.
1228
01:05:38,367 --> 01:05:42,098
And I don't think my father,
the inventor of Toaster Strudel,
1229
01:05:42,305 --> 01:05:44,273
would be too pleased
to hear about this.
1230
01:05:53,382 --> 01:05:55,509
"Made out with a hot dog"?
1231
01:05:55,718 --> 01:05:58,653
Oh, my God, that was one time!
1232
01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:05,189
"Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"?
Who would write that?
1233
01:06:05,394 --> 01:06:07,123
Who wouldn't write that?
1234
01:06:08,497 --> 01:06:10,590
"Trang Pak made out
with Coach Carr"?
1235
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,358
And so did Sun Jin Dinh.
1236
01:06:20,242 --> 01:06:23,211
Hey! Hey! Settle down!
All right, hey.
1237
01:06:23,412 --> 01:06:26,313
No. You do not push and sh...
1238
01:06:40,029 --> 01:06:41,826
Do you have anything else
you wanna say?
1239
01:06:42,031 --> 01:06:43,362
No, I can't answer any
more questions
1240
01:06:43,566 --> 01:06:45,227
until I have a parent
or lawyer present.
1241
01:06:46,469 --> 01:06:47,697
Miss Smith?
1242
01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:52,365
Whoever wrote it probably didn't
think anyone would ever see it?
1243
01:06:52,575 --> 01:06:55,009
I hope that nobody else
ever does see it.
1244
01:07:06,522 --> 01:07:09,013
Mom, can you pick me up?
I'm scared.
1245
01:07:10,192 --> 01:07:12,524
- "Janis lan, dyke"?
- That's original.
1246
01:07:12,728 --> 01:07:14,491
- "Too gay to function"?!
- Hey!
1247
01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:16,756
That's only OK when I say it.
1248
01:07:16,966 --> 01:07:19,833
- Did you write this?
- No, I swear!
1249
01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:22,698
- Then you told somebody!
- She told!
1250
01:07:22,972 --> 01:07:25,998
- You little bitch!
- You're a bitch!
1251
01:07:28,077 --> 01:07:30,045
Yeah! Take your top off!
1252
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:34,209
- Now, here's what we're gonna do...
- Ron, come quick!
1253
01:07:34,417 --> 01:07:37,750
They've gone wild.
The girls have gone wild.
1254
01:07:46,929 --> 01:07:49,090
It was full-tilt jungle madness.
1255
01:07:52,568 --> 01:07:54,536
And it wasn't going away.
1256
01:08:00,976 --> 01:08:03,604
Hey, I pulled these two off each other.
1257
01:08:03,813 --> 01:08:06,611
Coach Carr, step away
from the underage girls.
1258
01:08:11,587 --> 01:08:13,054
Let me help you down there.
1259
01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:17,317
Hell, no! I did not leave
the Southside for this!
1260
01:08:21,163 --> 01:08:23,290
Oh, crap! My hair!
1261
01:08:23,499 --> 01:08:29,028
All junior girls report to the gymnasium
immediately! Lmmediately!
1262
01:08:34,076 --> 01:08:35,600
Have you ever walked up to people
1263
01:08:35,811 --> 01:08:38,109
and realized they were just
talking about you?
1264
01:08:40,216 --> 01:08:43,379
Have you ever had it happen
60 times in a row?
1265
01:08:43,786 --> 01:08:45,378
I have.
1266
01:09:04,406 --> 01:09:08,843
Never in my 14 years as an educator
have I seen such behavior.
1267
01:09:09,178 --> 01:09:11,043
And from young ladies.
1268
01:09:11,580 --> 01:09:15,516
I got parents calling me on the phone
asking, "Did someone get shot?"
1269
01:09:15,818 --> 01:09:17,752
I ought to cancel your Spring Fling.
1270
01:09:17,953 --> 01:09:19,181
No!
1271
01:09:19,455 --> 01:09:20,683
- No.
- What are we supposed to do?
1272
01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:24,058
Now, I'm not gonna do that,
because we've already paid the DJ.
1273
01:09:24,326 --> 01:09:27,523
But don't think that I'm not taking
this book seriously.
1274
01:09:27,930 --> 01:09:30,831
Coach Carr has fled school property.
1275
01:09:31,467 --> 01:09:33,833
Ms. Norbury has been
accused of selling drugs.
1276
01:09:35,237 --> 01:09:37,535
Now, what the young ladies
in this grade need
1277
01:09:37,740 --> 01:09:39,765
is an attitude makeover.
1278
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:42,542
And you're gonna get it right now.
1279
01:09:42,745 --> 01:09:46,613
I don't care how long it takes,
I will keep you here all night.
1280
01:09:46,815 --> 01:09:48,214
We can't keep them past 4.
1281
01:09:48,417 --> 01:09:50,647
I will keep you here until 4.
1282
01:09:52,521 --> 01:09:54,989
Now, what we're gonna try to do
is fix the way you young ladies
1283
01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:56,681
relate to each other.
1284
01:09:56,892 --> 01:09:59,452
OK? Lady to lady.
1285
01:09:59,662 --> 01:10:02,654
So who has a lady problem
that they'd like to talk about?
1286
01:10:06,468 --> 01:10:07,833
Yes?
1287
01:10:08,037 --> 01:10:11,268
Somebody wrote in that book
that I'm lying about being a virgin
1288
01:10:11,473 --> 01:10:13,498
because I use super-jumbo tampons.
1289
01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:17,577
But I can't help it if I've got
a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.
1290
01:10:19,515 --> 01:10:21,312
Yeah, I can't do this.
1291
01:10:21,717 --> 01:10:22,945
Ms. Norbury.
1292
01:10:23,185 --> 01:10:26,916
You're a successful, intelligent,
caring, graceful woman.
1293
01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:28,451
I am?
1294
01:10:28,657 --> 01:10:30,887
There has to be something
you can say to these young ladies.
1295
01:10:31,093 --> 01:10:33,027
Something to help them
with their self-esteem?
1296
01:10:33,395 --> 01:10:34,623
It's not a self-esteem problem.
1297
01:10:34,830 --> 01:10:37,355
I think they're all pretty
pleased with themselves.
1298
01:10:39,568 --> 01:10:40,796
OK.
1299
01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:46,064
OK. Everybody close your eyes.
1300
01:10:47,443 --> 01:10:50,003
I want you to raise your hand
if you have ever had a girl
1301
01:10:50,212 --> 01:10:53,340
say something bad
about you behind your back.
1302
01:10:55,384 --> 01:10:57,249
Open your eyes.
1303
01:10:58,954 --> 01:11:00,478
Now, close your eyes again.
1304
01:11:00,689 --> 01:11:03,487
And this time, I want you to raise
your hand if you have ever
1305
01:11:03,692 --> 01:11:06,252
said anything about a friend
behind her back.
1306
01:11:12,635 --> 01:11:13,932
Open them.
1307
01:11:18,307 --> 01:11:21,003
There's been some
girl-on-girl crime here.
1308
01:11:22,077 --> 01:11:25,808
OK. So, what we could do today
is a couple exercises to help you
1309
01:11:26,015 --> 01:11:28,916
express your anger in a healthy way.
1310
01:11:29,852 --> 01:11:31,149
Let's start over here.
1311
01:11:31,353 --> 01:11:33,150
Ms. Norbury had us confront
each other directly
1312
01:11:33,355 --> 01:11:34,822
about the things
that were bothering us.
1313
01:11:35,024 --> 01:11:37,049
And it seemed like every clique
had its own problems.
1314
01:11:37,259 --> 01:11:40,160
You've been acting really stuck-up
ever since you switched to shortfielder.
1315
01:11:40,362 --> 01:11:42,125
And Dawn agrees with me.
1316
01:11:42,331 --> 01:11:43,958
- Dawn?
- Don't drag me into this,
1317
01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:45,463
I'm pitching tomorrow.
1318
01:11:53,342 --> 01:11:55,333
OK. Good.
1319
01:11:56,278 --> 01:11:59,213
Can I just say that we don't have
a clique problem at this school?
1320
01:11:59,415 --> 01:12:02,145
And some of us shouldn't have to take
this workshop, because some of us
1321
01:12:02,351 --> 01:12:04,444
are just victims in this situation.
1322
01:12:04,653 --> 01:12:06,780
That's probably true.
How many of you
1323
01:12:06,989 --> 01:12:10,789
have ever felt personally
victimized by Regina George?
1324
01:12:20,636 --> 01:12:23,161
Good. OK, who's next?
1325
01:12:23,372 --> 01:12:24,896
Who's next?
1326
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:28,507
Cady.
1327
01:12:28,711 --> 01:12:30,406
Do you have anything
you wanna own up to?
1328
01:12:31,113 --> 01:12:32,842
Yes.
No.
1329
01:12:33,449 --> 01:12:35,917
You never made up a rumor
about anybody?
1330
01:12:36,318 --> 01:12:37,546
Just that you sell drugs.
1331
01:12:37,753 --> 01:12:38,981
No.
1332
01:12:39,388 --> 01:12:41,652
Nothing you want to apologize for?
1333
01:12:42,091 --> 01:12:43,490
I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury
1334
01:12:43,692 --> 01:12:45,717
without getting blamed
for the whole burn book.
1335
01:12:45,994 --> 01:12:47,427
No.
1336
01:12:48,664 --> 01:12:50,928
I'm really disappointed in you, Cady.
1337
01:12:53,302 --> 01:12:56,328
OK, so we're all here
because of this book, right?
1338
01:12:56,605 --> 01:12:59,369
Well, I don't know
who wrote this book,
1339
01:12:59,575 --> 01:13:03,341
but you all have got to stop
calling each other sluts and whores.
1340
01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:06,514
It just makes it OK for guys
to call you sluts and whores.
1341
01:13:06,715 --> 01:13:08,273
Who here has ever been called a slut?
1342
01:13:13,455 --> 01:13:15,047
OK, everybody up.
1343
01:13:15,257 --> 01:13:16,781
Ms. Norbury had us
write out apologies
1344
01:13:16,992 --> 01:13:19,153
to people that we'd hurt in our lives.
1345
01:13:19,428 --> 01:13:23,023
"Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you
a gap-toothed bitch.
1346
01:13:23,232 --> 01:13:25,757
"It's not your fault
you're so gap-toothed."
1347
01:13:30,205 --> 01:13:31,672
"Gretchen,
1348
01:13:31,874 --> 01:13:34,308
"I'm sorry I laughed
at you that time you got diarrhea
1349
01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:36,137
"at Barnes and Noble.
1350
01:13:36,345 --> 01:13:38,245
"And I'm sorry I told everyone about it."
1351
01:13:38,747 --> 01:13:41,238
And I'm sorry for repeating it now.
1352
01:13:45,988 --> 01:13:48,013
Laura, I don't hate you
because you're fat.
1353
01:13:48,223 --> 01:13:50,555
You're fat because I hate you.
1354
01:13:54,196 --> 01:13:58,223
I just wish we could all get along
like we used to in middle school.
1355
01:13:58,434 --> 01:14:02,370
I wish that I could bake a cake
made out of rainbows and smiles,
1356
01:14:02,571 --> 01:14:04,471
and we'd all eat it and be happy.
1357
01:14:04,673 --> 01:14:06,300
She doesn't even go here!
1358
01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,269
Do you even go to this school?
1359
01:14:10,479 --> 01:14:14,142
No. I just have a lot of feelings.
1360
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:15,917
OK, go home.
1361
01:14:19,888 --> 01:14:21,515
Sharon, I think you're doing
a great job.
1362
01:14:21,757 --> 01:14:23,315
Thanks. I feel like I'm getting through.
1363
01:14:23,525 --> 01:14:25,925
I'm sorry that people
are so jealous of me.
1364
01:14:26,662 --> 01:14:29,222
But I can't help it that I'm popular.
1365
01:14:34,169 --> 01:14:37,297
Oh, my God! Oh, jeez.
OK, walk it off. Walk it off.
1366
01:14:37,506 --> 01:14:39,667
OK. That hurt.
1367
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:41,807
They're OK.
1368
01:14:42,344 --> 01:14:44,039
They're OK.
1369
01:14:44,847 --> 01:14:49,841
Oh, boy. OK, who's next?
Who's next? Keep it going.
1370
01:14:53,555 --> 01:14:57,491
Oh, my God. It's her dream come true,
diving into a big pile of girls.
1371
01:14:58,827 --> 01:15:01,990
OK, yeah, I've got an apology.
1372
01:15:03,966 --> 01:15:08,630
So I have this friend
who is a new student this year.
1373
01:15:08,837 --> 01:15:12,898
And I convinced her that it would be
fun to mess up Regina George's life.
1374
01:15:13,108 --> 01:15:15,599
So I had her pretend
to be friends with Regina,
1375
01:15:15,811 --> 01:15:17,335
and then she would come
to my house after
1376
01:15:17,546 --> 01:15:20,242
and we would just laugh about
all the dumb stuff Regina said.
1377
01:15:20,449 --> 01:15:21,973
And we gave her
these candy bar things
1378
01:15:22,184 --> 01:15:23,811
that would make her gain weight,
1379
01:15:24,019 --> 01:15:26,214
and we turned her best friends
against her.
1380
01:15:26,688 --> 01:15:29,657
And then... Oh, yeah, Cady...
You know my friend Cady.
1381
01:15:29,858 --> 01:15:31,655
She made out
with Regina's boyfriend
1382
01:15:31,860 --> 01:15:33,953
and then convinced him
to break up with her.
1383
01:15:34,162 --> 01:15:36,790
Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream
instead of face wash.
1384
01:15:36,999 --> 01:15:39,627
God! I am so sorry, Regina.
1385
01:15:39,835 --> 01:15:41,769
Really, I don't know why I did it.
1386
01:15:41,970 --> 01:15:47,203
I guess it's probably because
I've got a big lesbian crush on you.
1387
01:15:47,409 --> 01:15:49,104
Suck on that!
1388
01:15:50,212 --> 01:15:54,080
Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis!
1389
01:16:00,889 --> 01:16:02,117
Regina!
1390
01:16:03,592 --> 01:16:05,526
Regina, wait! I didn't mean
for that to happen.
1391
01:16:05,727 --> 01:16:07,718
To find out that everyone hates me?
I don't care.
1392
01:16:07,930 --> 01:16:09,921
Regina, please! Regina, stop!
1393
01:16:10,132 --> 01:16:12,794
No! Do you know
what everyone says about you?
1394
01:16:13,001 --> 01:16:14,935
They say that you're
a home-schooled jungle freak,
1395
01:16:15,137 --> 01:16:16,968
who's a less-hot version of me.
1396
01:16:17,172 --> 01:16:19,936
Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent.
1397
01:16:20,142 --> 01:16:23,407
You can take that fake apology
and shove it right up your hairy...
1398
01:16:27,149 --> 01:16:29,743
And that's how Regina George died.
1399
01:16:29,952 --> 01:16:33,012
No, I'm totally kidding.
But she did get hurt.
1400
01:16:33,221 --> 01:16:35,485
Some girls say they saw her head
go all the way around.
1401
01:16:35,691 --> 01:16:38,489
But that's just a rumor.
Some people swear they saw me
1402
01:16:38,694 --> 01:16:40,889
push her in front of the bus.
That was an even worse rumor.
1403
01:16:42,995 --> 01:16:46,487
- Everybody done?
- No. Mom, I didn't do it.
1404
01:16:46,698 --> 01:16:48,461
I don't know what to believe anymore.
1405
01:16:48,667 --> 01:16:50,760
Mom, believe me.
I'm your daughter.
1406
01:16:53,906 --> 01:16:56,636
Why are my tribal vases
under the sink?
1407
01:16:56,842 --> 01:16:59,936
My tribal vases.
Why were they under the sink?
1408
01:17:00,512 --> 01:17:01,843
I don't know.
1409
01:17:02,147 --> 01:17:04,445
This is the fertility vase
of the Ndebele tribe.
1410
01:17:04,650 --> 01:17:07,676
- Does that mean anything to you?
- No.
1411
01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:10,317
Who are you?
1412
01:17:14,927 --> 01:17:18,658
Great. All my friends hate me,
and now my mom hates me.
1413
01:17:18,864 --> 01:17:20,764
Your mom does not hate you.
1414
01:17:20,966 --> 01:17:23,628
She's afraid of you.
1415
01:17:24,670 --> 01:17:28,663
I don't know, maybe we
mainstream-schooled you too soon.
1416
01:17:28,874 --> 01:17:32,742
Maybe you should come back and
be home-schooled again for a while.
1417
01:17:33,111 --> 01:17:37,138
No. Only thing worse than
going back will be not going back.
1418
01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:40,108
How bad's it gonna be tomorrow?
1419
01:17:40,319 --> 01:17:43,413
Remember when we saw those lions
fighting over the wart hog carcass?
1420
01:17:44,323 --> 01:17:45,551
I'll be the wart hog.
1421
01:17:46,058 --> 01:17:47,525
You're not a wart hog,
1422
01:17:47,726 --> 01:17:49,489
you're a lion.
1423
01:17:49,995 --> 01:17:52,429
Just focus on your studies
for a little while.
1424
01:17:52,764 --> 01:17:55,096
You're still an excellent student, right?
1425
01:17:55,300 --> 01:17:58,736
Oh, yeah. I need you to sign
my calculus test.
1426
01:17:59,104 --> 01:18:01,299
- Why?
- I'm failing.
1427
01:18:04,609 --> 01:18:07,373
OK. You are...
1428
01:18:08,714 --> 01:18:10,181
What do they call it?
1429
01:18:10,449 --> 01:18:11,711
Grounded.
1430
01:18:12,184 --> 01:18:13,776
You're grounded.
1431
01:18:42,514 --> 01:18:44,038
She pushed her in front of the bus.
1432
01:18:44,783 --> 01:18:46,375
Did you see her do it?
1433
01:18:46,585 --> 01:18:47,916
Yes.
1434
01:19:02,401 --> 01:19:06,360
Did your teacher ever try to sell you
marijuana or Ecstasy tablets?
1435
01:19:06,571 --> 01:19:09,005
- No.
- What are marijuana tablets?
1436
01:19:09,207 --> 01:19:11,107
What's going on?
Where's Ms. Norbury?
1437
01:19:11,476 --> 01:19:15,537
Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous.
Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs.
1438
01:19:15,747 --> 01:19:18,944
I know, Aaron. But after
the allegations against Coach Carr
1439
01:19:19,151 --> 01:19:21,415
turned out to be extremely true,
1440
01:19:21,620 --> 01:19:24,851
the school board felt that it was best
that we investigate every claim made
1441
01:19:25,057 --> 01:19:26,285
in this Burn Book.
1442
01:19:26,491 --> 01:19:28,721
That book was written
by a bunch of stupid girls
1443
01:19:28,927 --> 01:19:30,792
who make up rumors
because they're bored
1444
01:19:30,996 --> 01:19:32,759
with their own lame lives.
1445
01:19:32,964 --> 01:19:35,728
Well, unless someone wants to come
forward and say, "I made it all up",
1446
01:19:35,934 --> 01:19:38,528
this is how we have to handle it.
To say that someone...
1447
01:19:38,737 --> 01:19:43,401
Oh, no. Bye, Aaron.
You're gonna hate me forever.
1448
01:19:44,643 --> 01:19:46,338
Mr. Duvall.
1449
01:19:46,545 --> 01:19:47,773
I wrote it.
1450
01:19:50,682 --> 01:19:51,910
Come on, Cady.
1451
01:19:59,191 --> 01:20:00,681
When you get bit by a snake,
1452
01:20:00,892 --> 01:20:02,757
you're supposed to suck
the poison out.
1453
01:20:02,961 --> 01:20:06,761
That's what I had to do.
Suck all the poison out of my life.
1454
01:20:07,466 --> 01:20:09,024
I started with Regina,
1455
01:20:09,234 --> 01:20:11,498
who was living proof that the more
people are scared of you,
1456
01:20:11,703 --> 01:20:13,000
the more flowers you get.
1457
01:20:14,206 --> 01:20:15,434
Then there was Ms. Norbury,
1458
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:19,201
who was living proof that no
good deed goes unpunished.
1459
01:20:19,878 --> 01:20:22,369
Oh, hi. Did you wanna
buy some drugs?
1460
01:20:22,581 --> 01:20:26,540
- I'm just done with my quiz.
- Wait. I'll grade it right now.
1461
01:20:31,089 --> 01:20:33,319
I gotta say, watching the police
search my house
1462
01:20:33,525 --> 01:20:37,017
really was the cherry on top
of a fantastic year.
1463
01:20:38,296 --> 01:20:40,787
How much trouble did you get in
for telling the truth?
1464
01:20:40,999 --> 01:20:42,296
A lot.
1465
01:20:42,634 --> 01:20:44,158
You didn't write that whole book
yourself.
1466
01:20:44,369 --> 01:20:45,996
Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it?
1467
01:20:46,771 --> 01:20:48,068
No, because I'm trying
this new thing
1468
01:20:48,273 --> 01:20:50,468
where I don't talk about people
behind their backs.
1469
01:20:50,809 --> 01:20:53,903
That's all right. Getting hit by a bus
is pretty good punishment.
1470
01:20:54,112 --> 01:20:55,374
Ninety-four.
1471
01:20:55,580 --> 01:20:57,309
Welcome back, nerd.
1472
01:20:57,816 --> 01:20:59,078
Thanks.
1473
01:21:00,185 --> 01:21:01,584
Anyway...
1474
01:21:02,587 --> 01:21:04,054
...l'm sorry.
1475
01:21:04,256 --> 01:21:05,587
I forgive you.
1476
01:21:05,891 --> 01:21:08,223
But as my own personal
form of punishment,
1477
01:21:08,426 --> 01:21:10,826
I figured out how you're gonna
earn that extra credit.
1478
01:21:12,330 --> 01:21:13,763
What's up?
1479
01:22:12,290 --> 01:22:15,259
Excellent. Great turnout this year.
1480
01:22:22,601 --> 01:22:24,501
- All right. It's all you.
- OK.
1481
01:22:24,703 --> 01:22:26,466
- Make me look good out there.
- OK.
1482
01:22:26,671 --> 01:22:29,970
Marymount, you sons of bitches.
You no-good sons of bitches.
1483
01:22:30,842 --> 01:22:32,400
- You nervous?
- Yes.
1484
01:22:32,611 --> 01:22:35,978
Don't be. You can do this.
There's nothing to break your focus,
1485
01:22:36,181 --> 01:22:38,775
because not one of those
Marymount boys is cute.
1486
01:22:40,652 --> 01:22:41,983
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1487
01:22:42,187 --> 01:22:44,815
Welcome to the Illinois High School
Mathletes State Championship.
1488
01:22:45,023 --> 01:22:47,958
Let's start the competition.
Here is the first question.
1489
01:22:48,393 --> 01:22:51,521
Twice the larger of two numbers
is three more than five times
1490
01:22:51,730 --> 01:22:53,630
the smaller, and the sum
of four times the larger
1491
01:22:53,832 --> 01:22:57,063
and three times the smaller is 71.
What are...?
1492
01:22:57,269 --> 01:22:59,362
- North Shore?
- Fourteen and five.
1493
01:22:59,571 --> 01:23:01,129
That is correct.
Question number two.
1494
01:23:01,339 --> 01:23:04,433
Find an odd three-digit number
whose digits add up to 12.
1495
01:23:04,643 --> 01:23:07,703
The digits are all different, and the
difference between the first two digits
1496
01:23:07,912 --> 01:23:09,243
equals the difference between...
1497
01:23:09,447 --> 01:23:11,278
- Marymount?
- 741.
1498
01:23:11,483 --> 01:23:14,816
- Correct.
- Shoot. I was really rusty.
1499
01:23:15,720 --> 01:23:18,348
- Where's Cady?
- She went out.
1500
01:23:18,723 --> 01:23:19,951
She's grounded.
1501
01:23:20,625 --> 01:23:22,786
Are they not allowed out
when they're grounded?
1502
01:23:29,834 --> 01:23:32,997
Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling
King and Queen, people.
1503
01:23:33,204 --> 01:23:36,037
These A-holes will represent you
for a full calendar year.
1504
01:23:36,241 --> 01:23:39,506
I'm gonna vote for Regina George
because she got hit by that bus.
1505
01:23:39,711 --> 01:23:42,805
I'm voting for Cady Heron
because she pushed her.
1506
01:23:51,022 --> 01:23:54,389
She's supposed to be grounded,
but he let her out.
1507
01:23:54,659 --> 01:23:58,425
After 87 minutes of very
competitive play, we have a tie.
1508
01:23:58,630 --> 01:24:01,861
In the event of a tie, we move
into a sudden-death round.
1509
01:24:02,067 --> 01:24:05,594
Each team is given the opportunity
to choose their opponent.
1510
01:24:06,004 --> 01:24:09,770
- North Shore, who do you select?
- The girl, dude. The girl.
1511
01:24:09,974 --> 01:24:11,407
Contestant Krafft.
1512
01:24:11,643 --> 01:24:14,840
From Marymount,
Miss Caroline Krafft.
1513
01:24:17,649 --> 01:24:19,514
We pick the girl too.
1514
01:24:19,751 --> 01:24:22,049
And from North Shore,
Miss Cady Heron.
1515
01:24:22,253 --> 01:24:23,982
It's Cady.
1516
01:24:24,422 --> 01:24:25,912
Oh, my God, that's me.
1517
01:24:34,165 --> 01:24:37,328
Miss Caroline Krafft seriously
needed to pluck her eyebrows.
1518
01:24:37,535 --> 01:24:41,869
Her outfit looked like it was picked out
by a blind Sunday school teacher.
1519
01:24:42,073 --> 01:24:44,940
And she had some 99-cent
lip gloss on her snaggletooth.
1520
01:24:45,410 --> 01:24:48,311
And that's when I realized,
making fun of Caroline Krafft
1521
01:24:48,513 --> 01:24:51,073
wouldn't stop her
from beating me in this contest.
1522
01:24:51,282 --> 01:24:54,740
Contestants,
find the limit of this equation.
1523
01:24:55,553 --> 01:24:57,987
Calling somebody else fat
won't make you any skinnier.
1524
01:24:58,189 --> 01:25:00,521
Calling someone stupid
doesn't make you any smarter.
1525
01:25:00,725 --> 01:25:04,183
And ruining Regina George's life
definitely didn't make me any happier.
1526
01:25:04,396 --> 01:25:07,832
All you can do in life is try to solve
the problem in front of you.
1527
01:25:08,800 --> 01:25:11,667
- The limit is negative one.
- Oh, crap. I lost.
1528
01:25:11,870 --> 01:25:13,497
That answer is incorrect.
1529
01:25:14,305 --> 01:25:17,274
Now, we are in a sudden death.
If Miss Heron can answer
1530
01:25:17,475 --> 01:25:20,501
this problem correctly,
we have a winner.
1531
01:25:20,712 --> 01:25:23,442
Limits. Why couldn't I remember
anything about limits?
1532
01:25:23,648 --> 01:25:26,139
Limits. That was the week
Aaron got his hair cut.
1533
01:25:26,351 --> 01:25:28,751
Oh, God, he looked so cute.
OK, focus, Cady.
1534
01:25:28,953 --> 01:25:31,285
What was on the board
behind Aaron's head?
1535
01:25:32,157 --> 01:25:34,717
If the limit never approaches
anything...
1536
01:25:34,926 --> 01:25:36,951
The limit does not exist.
1537
01:25:37,162 --> 01:25:38,493
The limit does not exist!
1538
01:25:38,797 --> 01:25:40,662
Our new state champions,
1539
01:25:40,865 --> 01:25:42,958
- the North Shore Mathletes.
- Yeah!
1540
01:25:52,744 --> 01:25:54,177
How do you like me now?
1541
01:25:54,579 --> 01:25:58,174
You like that? Yeah!
Get some! Get some!
1542
01:25:58,583 --> 01:26:00,778
Awesome. You went
with the leather sleeves.
1543
01:26:00,985 --> 01:26:03,078
- Africa, you did the damn thing.
- Thanks.
1544
01:26:04,556 --> 01:26:05,921
Thanks, K.G.
1545
01:26:06,124 --> 01:26:09,355
We're gonna look so kick-ass
in these when we roll into Spring Fling.
1546
01:26:09,561 --> 01:26:11,222
- Oh, no, I'm not going.
- What?
1547
01:26:11,429 --> 01:26:13,124
Cady, this is your night.
Don't let the haters
1548
01:26:13,331 --> 01:26:14,662
stop you from doing your thang.
1549
01:26:15,200 --> 01:26:16,690
Did you just say "thang"?
1550
01:26:16,901 --> 01:26:18,664
Cady, you don't have to punish
yourself forever.
1551
01:26:19,037 --> 01:26:20,766
But I'm grounded.
1552
01:26:21,072 --> 01:26:22,664
You're already out.
1553
01:26:33,585 --> 01:26:35,610
All right, do we have all
of our nominees
1554
01:26:35,820 --> 01:26:37,651
for king and queen on the stage?
1555
01:26:38,189 --> 01:26:42,592
OK, good. I just wanted to say
that you're all winners.
1556
01:26:42,927 --> 01:26:46,693
And I could not be happier
that this school year's ending.
1557
01:26:47,432 --> 01:26:53,598
Here we go. The winner
of the Spring Fling King,
1558
01:26:53,938 --> 01:26:56,805
- Shane Oman.
- Yes!
1559
01:26:57,175 --> 01:26:59,075
That's what I'm talking about!
1560
01:27:01,880 --> 01:27:04,007
And your Spring Fling Queen,
1561
01:27:04,482 --> 01:27:06,677
future co-chair
of the Student Activities Board
1562
01:27:06,885 --> 01:27:09,854
and winner of two gift certificates
1563
01:27:10,054 --> 01:27:12,045
to the Walker Brothers
Pancake House,
1564
01:27:12,423 --> 01:27:13,788
Cady Heron.
1565
01:27:18,463 --> 01:27:20,260
Where is Cady?
1566
01:27:22,100 --> 01:27:23,761
There she is.
1567
01:27:40,518 --> 01:27:42,008
Thanks.
1568
01:27:44,088 --> 01:27:46,488
Well, half the people in this room
are mad at me.
1569
01:27:46,691 --> 01:27:49,592
And the other half only like me
1570
01:27:49,794 --> 01:27:52,991
because they think I pushed
somebody in front of a bus.
1571
01:27:53,197 --> 01:27:55,392
So that's not good.
1572
01:27:55,867 --> 01:27:58,529
You know, it's not really required
of you to make a speech.
1573
01:27:58,736 --> 01:28:00,670
I'm almost done, I swear.
1574
01:28:01,539 --> 01:28:06,442
To all the people whose feelings
that got hurt by the Burn Book,
1575
01:28:06,978 --> 01:28:08,741
I'm really sorry.
1576
01:28:10,114 --> 01:28:13,140
You know, I've never been
to one of these things before.
1577
01:28:13,351 --> 01:28:16,684
And when I think about
how many people wanted this
1578
01:28:17,755 --> 01:28:19,746
and how many people
cried over it and stuff...
1579
01:28:21,492 --> 01:28:25,394
I mean, I think everybody
looks like royalty tonight.
1580
01:28:25,597 --> 01:28:29,624
Look at Jessica Lopez.
That dress is amazing.
1581
01:28:29,834 --> 01:28:32,632
And Emma Gerber, I mean,
that hairdo must have taken hours,
1582
01:28:32,837 --> 01:28:34,168
and you look really pretty.
1583
01:28:36,941 --> 01:28:38,340
So...
1584
01:28:39,143 --> 01:28:41,577
...why is everybody stressing
over this thing?
1585
01:28:41,779 --> 01:28:46,079
I mean, it's just plastic.
Could really just...
1586
01:28:49,053 --> 01:28:50,384
Share it.
1587
01:28:50,722 --> 01:28:55,091
A piece for Gretchen Wieners,
a partial Spring Fling Queen.
1588
01:28:57,495 --> 01:28:59,793
A piece for Janis lan.
1589
01:29:01,399 --> 01:29:04,027
Seriously, most people
just take the crown and go.
1590
01:29:04,235 --> 01:29:06,260
And a piece for Regina George.
1591
01:29:06,471 --> 01:29:09,304
She fractured her spine,
and she still looks like a rock star.
1592
01:29:11,776 --> 01:29:13,004
Thank you.
1593
01:29:13,211 --> 01:29:15,645
And some for everybody else.
1594
01:29:25,556 --> 01:29:27,319
God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up?
1595
01:29:27,992 --> 01:29:29,459
Thanks.
1596
01:29:30,294 --> 01:29:32,626
All right, have a good time, everyone.
1597
01:29:39,637 --> 01:29:41,104
Look. I'm a queen.
1598
01:29:41,305 --> 01:29:42,863
As am I.
1599
01:29:43,307 --> 01:29:45,434
- Hey.
- Hey.
1600
01:29:46,077 --> 01:29:48,136
So are we still in a fight?
1601
01:29:48,346 --> 01:29:50,439
Are you still an asshole?
1602
01:29:50,648 --> 01:29:51,876
I don't think so.
1603
01:29:52,083 --> 01:29:54,074
Well, then I guess we're OK.
1604
01:29:54,419 --> 01:29:56,250
Oh, my God, I love this song!
1605
01:29:56,454 --> 01:29:57,580
I hate this song.
1606
01:29:57,789 --> 01:29:59,620
I know this song!
1607
01:30:00,825 --> 01:30:03,020
Man candy, stage right.
1608
01:30:05,697 --> 01:30:08,598
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey. Didn't think you'd make it.
1609
01:30:10,868 --> 01:30:14,133
On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to
present you with two gift certificates...
1610
01:30:14,338 --> 01:30:16,033
- Thanks, sucker.
- Yo, peace.
1611
01:30:17,775 --> 01:30:21,040
One gift certificate to
the Walker Brothers Pancake House.
1612
01:30:21,479 --> 01:30:23,276
Thank you.
1613
01:30:27,719 --> 01:30:29,687
Congratulations on winning State.
1614
01:30:30,855 --> 01:30:32,482
I was so nervous.
They made us do limits.
1615
01:30:32,690 --> 01:30:34,419
I thought I was gonna hurl.
1616
01:30:34,625 --> 01:30:36,889
- How's your stomach now?
- It's fine.
1617
01:30:37,095 --> 01:30:39,928
- Do you feel nauseous at all?
- No.
1618
01:30:40,131 --> 01:30:41,860
- Have you been drinking?
- No.
1619
01:30:42,467 --> 01:30:43,695
OK.
1620
01:30:43,901 --> 01:30:45,129
Grool.
1621
01:31:10,394 --> 01:31:11,759
No.
1622
01:31:13,664 --> 01:31:16,326
- What's up?
- Can I help you?
1623
01:31:16,968 --> 01:31:18,435
You Puerto Rican?
1624
01:31:18,636 --> 01:31:20,194
Lebanese.
1625
01:31:20,404 --> 01:31:21,928
I feel that.
1626
01:31:37,321 --> 01:31:39,915
In case you're wondering,
The Plastics broke up.
1627
01:31:40,124 --> 01:31:42,217
Regina's spine healed,
and her physical therapist
1628
01:31:42,426 --> 01:31:44,724
taught her to channel
all her rage into sports.
1629
01:31:49,700 --> 01:31:52,396
It was perfect because
the jock girls weren't afraid of her.
1630
01:31:56,707 --> 01:32:00,234
Karen used her special talents to do
the morning weather announcements.
1631
01:32:00,444 --> 01:32:03,845
Hi. This is Karen Smith.
It's 68 degrees,
1632
01:32:04,048 --> 01:32:08,280
and there's a 30 percent chance
that it's already raining.
1633
01:32:09,153 --> 01:32:10,984
And Gretchen found herself
a new clique
1634
01:32:11,189 --> 01:32:12,850
and a new queen bee to serve.
1635
01:32:17,795 --> 01:32:21,094
Aaron went to Northwestern,
so I still get to see him on weekends.
1636
01:32:21,299 --> 01:32:22,266
And me?
1637
01:32:22,466 --> 01:32:25,128
I had gone from home-schooled
jungle freak to shiny Plastic
1638
01:32:25,336 --> 01:32:28,430
to most hated person in the world
to actual human being.
1639
01:32:28,639 --> 01:32:29,867
Hey.
1640
01:32:30,308 --> 01:32:34,108
All the drama from last year
just wasn't important anymore.
1641
01:32:34,312 --> 01:32:38,112
School used to be like a shark tank,
but now I could just float.
1642
01:32:38,316 --> 01:32:39,544
Regina.
1643
01:32:39,750 --> 01:32:42,275
Finally, Girl World was at peace.
1644
01:32:44,355 --> 01:32:48,416
Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
1645
01:32:48,626 --> 01:32:51,993
And if any freshmen
tried to disturb that peace...
1646
01:32:52,196 --> 01:32:55,188
Well, let's just say we knew
how to take care of it.
1647
01:33:01,138 --> 01:33:02,765
Just kidding.