1 00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:29,822 Mysteries in History, with your host, Peter Graves. 2 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:33,932 Although no one has ever been able to prove their existence... 3 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,228 ...a quasi-government agency, the Men in Black... 4 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:40,737 ...supposedly carries out operations here on Earth... 5 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:45,003 ...in order to keep us safe from aliens throughout the galaxies. 6 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:48,670 Here is one of their stories that "never happened"... 7 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:53,046 ...from one of their files that doesn't exist. 8 00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:57,817 1978. The leaders of Zartha flee their planet... 9 00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:03,224 ...in order to escape the clutches of the evil Kylothian, Serleena. 10 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,632 Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring with them their greatest treasure: 11 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:12,028 The Light of Zartha, a cosmic force so powerful... 12 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:16,733 ...that in the wrong hands it could lead to the annihilation of Zartha. 13 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:20,644 The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna, beseeched the Men in Black... 14 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,180 ...to hide the Light from Serleena. 15 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,651 But they had no choice. 16 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,311 Intervention would have meant the destruction of the Earth. 17 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:35,787 However, in an act of galactic bravery, the Men in Black subdued Serleena... 18 00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:38,192 ...allowing the Zarthans to escape... 19 00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:42,027 ...so they might hide the Light on another planet. 20 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:47,833 Serleena, released from her captors, vowed that the Light would be hers... 21 00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:52,910 ...and that she would destroy any planet that stood in her way. 22 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,878 And so, never knowing what happened... 23 00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:02,249 ...the people of Earth were saved by a secret society of protectors... 24 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:05,482 ...known as the Men in Black. 25 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:10,797 . 26 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,522 Harvey! 27 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:50,152 Harvey, get over here! 28 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,825 Harvey. Heel, heel! 29 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:55,229 You're barking at the moon, moron. 30 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,164 Harvey. Harvey! 31 00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:17,183 . 32 00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,288 Hey, pretty lady. 33 00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:02,922 You taste good. 34 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,362 Hey, what the--? 35 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,873 Yeah, you too. 36 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,392 Nothing fancy, no heroics. By the book. 37 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,027 Got it. Hey! 38 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:12,495 Hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy? 39 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:16,624 -We were wondering why you're here. -The man's talking to you. 40 00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:21,065 You know our arrangements. Stay in the E, F and R subway lines... 41 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,674 ...and you get all the garbage you want. 42 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,607 What the hell are you doing here, worm boy? 43 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:27,768 Tee. 44 00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,712 Jeff.... 45 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:32,077 Excuse my partner. He's new and he's... 46 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:38,291 ...kind of stupid. 47 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,901 You getting big, Jeff. Boy, what you been eating? 48 00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:54,869 You like jokes, huh? 49 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,037 Jeffrey! 50 00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,346 All right. 51 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,652 Sweet dreams, big boy. 52 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,249 Sweet dreams... 53 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,465 ...big boy. 54 00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:56,397 Transit authority. Move to the forward car. 55 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,163 We got a bug in the electrical system. 56 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:06,270 People! We got a bug in the electrical system! 57 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,811 Now y'all running? 58 00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:13,679 No, no, no! Sit down! 59 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,821 It's only a 600-foot worm. 60 00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:23,152 -Everybody out. -Put the hammer down on this thing. 61 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:26,787 I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater. I decide what happens. 62 00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:29,594 You decide? Okay, come here. Come here. 63 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,828 Larry? That's my man, Jeff. 64 00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:39,338 -Larry just made a decision. -Larry need to take his ass in there. 65 00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,320 Don't make me do this, Jeff! 66 00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,978 Eighty-first Street. 67 00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:22,179 Just a second. 68 00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:26,355 May I have your attention, please? 69 00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:29,759 We thank you for participating in our drill. 70 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,989 Had this been an emergency, you'd have been eaten. 71 00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,725 Because you don't listen. You're ignorant. 72 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:40,065 How a man gonna bash through--? That's the problem with New Yorkers. 73 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:43,868 "We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm! Save us, Mr. Black Man!" 74 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:48,241 I ask you nice, "Move to the next car." You just sit there like-- 75 00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:51,843 Thank you for participating. 76 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:55,920 Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller, energy-efficient subway cars. 77 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,483 Watch your step. You will have a nice evening. 78 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:06,657 I need a cleanup crew at 81st and Central Park West. 79 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,323 Revoke Jeff's movement privileges. 80 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,335 Have him escorted to the Chamber Street station. 81 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:17,465 And please check the expiration date on the unipod worm tranquilizers. 82 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,645 Sorry, fellas. Station closed. 83 00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:28,181 -Emergency drill. For your safety. -Do you believe these putzes? 84 00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,279 You're welcome. 85 00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:47,200 I know, by the book. 86 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:51,833 Tee, when was the last time we just looked at the stars? 87 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:55,003 This is a test. I can do this. 88 00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,010 Ever feel like you're alone in the universe? 89 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,676 Yes. 90 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,316 No. 91 00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:10,619 -Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie. -Really? 92 00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:12,591 Thanks. 93 00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,129 Hey, you're not alone in the universe. 94 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,497 -Remove the arm. -Okay. 95 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:19,505 Please, shut up, Charlie. 96 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:24,510 Please, shut up, Charlie. 97 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,375 I'm tired of you constantly talking behind my back. 98 00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:33,016 You meet a girl. She's into it. The best line you come up with is: 99 00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:37,315 "Wanna come back to my place for some tonsil hockey and egg salad?" 100 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:41,148 -Who are you and how'd you get in here? -You like egg salad? 101 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,829 Serleena! 102 00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:49,229 Why didn't you say it was you? 103 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:52,595 -Where's the Light? -Here's the deal. 104 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,138 You're looking for this Light. We found it. 105 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:59,607 You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill. Here's how it'll work. First-- 106 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,714 Where is the Light? 107 00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:11,987 We couldn't find it, but we found a guy who might know where it is. 108 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:15,218 He runs a pizza parlor on Spring Street. 109 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:20,363 Let's go. And wipe your nose, idiot. 110 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,536 -Good pie. -Yeah. 111 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,533 Crowded. 112 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:34,474 Well, they got good pie. 113 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:41,283 What is wrong with you? 114 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:43,648 -You're gonna neuralyze me. -No, I'm not. 115 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,383 You took me here so I wouldn't make a scene. 116 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,356 You making a scene. 117 00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:52,394 Let me ask you a question. Why did you join MiB? 118 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:56,092 Six years in the Marines. I like the action. Protect the planet. 119 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:59,567 You like being a hero? You joined the wrong organization. 120 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:03,730 -You ever heard of James Edwards? -No. 121 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,907 Well, he saved the lives of 85 people on the subway tonight. 122 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,105 No one knows he exists. 123 00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:15,519 And if no one knows he exists, how can anyone ever love him? 124 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,521 Hey, how long we been partners? 125 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,663 -Feb 1. -Five months, three days. 126 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:27,526 -Started at noon. -Nine hours. 127 00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:37,041 Get married. Have a bunch of kids. 128 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,204 Okay. 129 00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:47,476 Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy, but he thinks you are hot. 130 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:53,814 Here it is. 131 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:56,894 I don't know what to say. 132 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,997 Years from now, you know what people'll say? 133 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,498 -"Employee" is misspelled? -They charge by the letter. 134 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:07,799 They'll say, "Imagine that. Big shot like her used to work here." 135 00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,372 -Ben-- -You deserve it. 136 00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:12,669 Bring up a case of Mountain Dew from the basement. 137 00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:17,244 Hey, Bruno. 138 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:22,778 Two slices of pepperoni and information about the Light of Zartha. 139 00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:26,322 -Whoever you are, don't hurt me. -Where's the Light, Ben? 140 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:29,928 I don't know what you're talking about. Let me down, ma'am. 141 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,188 I want to report a robbery-- 142 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,264 There. 143 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,102 Noise. 144 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,077 Kitchen! 145 00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:52,175 You idiots see anything? 146 00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:55,377 Wind blew the door open. 147 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:58,023 Nothing out of the ordinary. 148 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,518 For 25 years, I've traveled the universe looking for it. 149 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,629 But it never left Earth, did it? You kept it here. 150 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,526 What are you talking about? 151 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,224 I'm running out of time. Where's the Light? 152 00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:12,199 -I don't know what you mean. -Listen, Zarthan. 153 00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:14,931 You hid the Light on Earth. I'll find it. 154 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:18,634 Once we have the Light, Zartha will be ours. 155 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,371 You're too late. Tomorrow at midnight... 156 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:25,074 ...the Light will leave the third planet and be back home. 157 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,515 Sorry you made the trip for nothing. 158 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:35,327 . 159 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:40,356 Now we don't know if it's on Earth or not. 160 00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:42,932 He said third planet. It's here, you idiot. 161 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:46,799 -Third Rock from the Sun. -I never got that till now. 162 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:51,174 It's on Earth, and I know who's gonna tell me where it is. 163 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:18,663 -Don't you ever go home? -Nope. 164 00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:21,635 I see you neuralyzed another partner. 165 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,875 Bee, Dee, when you use a fission carbonizer... 166 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,781 ...attach a de-atomizer so it doesn't sound like a cannon. 167 00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:39,253 Hey, get some booties on them things. You're crapping up the floor. 168 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,060 Check his visa. 169 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:48,393 The Cephalopods have been making counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal. 170 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:53,834 And why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph going through passport control? 171 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:58,170 That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry. Please don't neuralyze me, sir. 172 00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:01,870 -What the hell's that supposed to mean? -Nothing, sir. 173 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:06,942 Good work in the subway. 174 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,021 -I remember Jeff when he was yea high. -What you got for me? 175 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,488 Look. See those guys in black suits? 176 00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,719 -They work here. We got it covered. -Zed, what you got? 177 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:21,127 Dedication's one thing, but this job will eat you up and spit you out. 178 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:24,269 You want to look like me when you hit 50... 179 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:26,595 ...ish? 180 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:29,703 I'll be in the gym if you need me. 181 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:33,709 All right, there was a killing earlier. 177 Spring. 182 00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:35,176 Alien-on-alien. 183 00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,872 Take Tee with you and make a report. 184 00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:39,751 Tee. Right. 185 00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:44,756 Tee. Right. 186 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,818 You have got to stop neuralyzing MiB personnel. 187 00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:52,225 He was crying in the middle of the diner. 188 00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:53,921 I hate that. 189 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:56,728 And plus, you can't count Elle. 190 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,837 She wanted to go back to the morgue. I helped her. 191 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:02,906 -You need a partner. -I'm cool. 192 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,199 I'll be his partner. 193 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:09,070 Jay, wait up. I appreciate the shot, man. 194 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,443 -Thought I'd never get out. -Lose the suit. 195 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,812 Sure thing. Just going for the look. 196 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,682 But if I say so myself, I find it slimming. 197 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:19,483 Not that I've had problems with the ladies. 198 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,250 When you get down to-- 199 00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:23,155 Nice sled, very swank. 200 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,455 Heated seats? Sometimes I get hives. 201 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,250 Frank! 202 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,749 Bring your head in this window before I roll it up in there. 203 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,290 Got it. 204 00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,732 Frank! 205 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,969 My money? It's missionary. 206 00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:08,197 I was in the Bowery, and I meet this Great Dane. 207 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,637 A little thick in the body, but pretty. 208 00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:13,903 That's just not appealing to me, man. Seriously. 209 00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:16,377 I say we do the good cop, bad cop thing. 210 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,108 You interrogate the witness and I growl. 211 00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:23,516 How about we do the good cop, dumb dog thing, and you just shut up? 212 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:26,055 You got it, partner. Total silence. 213 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,558 Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me. 214 00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,887 What do we got? 215 00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,500 -What do we got? -There's residue on the wall. 216 00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:42,572 -We sent samples to Em for analysis. -Hey, 0% body fat. 217 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,005 -Funny. -Witness? 218 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,505 Girl. Saw everything. 219 00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:52,247 She's taking it well. 220 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:56,581 I won't answer any more questions. I want to know what happened here. 221 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,049 -I'll handle this one. -You got it. 222 00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:02,591 Alone. A talking dog might be a bit much for her now. 223 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,820 What do you want me to do? 224 00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:07,189 Sniff around. 225 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,290 What? 226 00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:10,927 Funny. 227 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,571 Take a deep breath. Everything is all right. 228 00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:16,867 What part is she supposed to feel all right about? 229 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,636 I'm Agent Jay. 230 00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,303 Tell me what you saw. 231 00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:26,007 -A two-headed guy and a woman. -Caucasian? 232 00:21:26,184 --> 00:21:29,176 Gray, with tentacles that she used to rip-- 233 00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,412 His skin off. 234 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:35,891 It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer similar to the gum in baseball cards. 235 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,621 -What was the last thing you ate? -Calzone. 236 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:39,923 -What time? -Lunch. 237 00:21:40,098 --> 00:21:42,464 -Spinach? -Mushroom. 238 00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:44,893 You need pie. 239 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:45,003 They kept asking Ben about a light. 240 00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:50,008 They kept asking Ben about a light. 241 00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:52,466 You okay? 242 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:55,943 An hour ago, a man I've known my whole life vanished... 243 00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:58,708 ...because of a woman with weird fingers... 244 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:01,580 ...and a two-headed guy with a cannoli's IQ. 245 00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:04,415 So yeah, everything's okay. 246 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:09,722 When we're kids, before we're taught how to think... 247 00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:13,228 ...our hearts tell us there is something else out there. 248 00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:18,301 I know what I saw. Tell me what I'm supposed to believe. 249 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:29,073 I'm a member of a secret organization that monitors alien activity on Earth. 250 00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:31,442 Ben was an alien. So were his killers. 251 00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:35,609 I don't know why they did it, but I promise I'm gonna find out. 252 00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:38,856 Okay. 253 00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:41,782 -Okay? -Okay. 254 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,628 Okay. 255 00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:52,699 -I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to-- -Kill me. 256 00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:54,395 No! 257 00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:58,509 Just a little flash and everything goes back the way it was. 258 00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:02,277 After you flash me... 259 00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:04,881 ...if I see you again, will I know it's you? 260 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,075 I'll see you. 261 00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:11,484 But you won't see me. 262 00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,715 Must be hard. 263 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,792 Must be very lonely. 264 00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:32,565 Excuse me. 265 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,904 -I gotta go. -What about the flashy thing? 266 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,711 I'll flash you some other time. 267 00:23:58,503 --> 00:24:00,130 What? 268 00:24:04,776 --> 00:24:10,180 -Did you tell the girl you love her? -She's a witness to a crime. That's it. 269 00:24:10,816 --> 00:24:14,445 You're attracted. She's not my species, and I'm attracted. 270 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:18,578 I should take advice on love from a dude that chases his own ass? 271 00:24:18,757 --> 00:24:22,784 Easy, pal. That's canine profiling, and I resent it. 272 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:40,842 Hey, Jay, wait up. 273 00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:44,038 Coming through. MiB brass. Look sharp. 274 00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:48,152 I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner. Who are you eyeballing? 275 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,584 Frank, just cool out, dog. 276 00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:53,915 -Got kids? -No. 277 00:24:54,092 --> 00:24:55,559 Want them? 278 00:24:58,763 --> 00:25:00,731 Get him off me! 279 00:25:09,107 --> 00:25:11,769 -Talk to me. -It's Kylothian, class C. 280 00:25:11,943 --> 00:25:12,932 Serleena. 281 00:25:13,111 --> 00:25:15,443 -Serleena. Old girlfriend? -She wishes. 282 00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:18,310 The perps were looking for the Light of-- 283 00:25:18,483 --> 00:25:20,144 -Zartha. -Yeah, what is it? 284 00:25:20,318 --> 00:25:22,786 This makes no sense. It's not on Earth. 285 00:25:22,954 --> 00:25:26,219 -We took care of this a long time ago. -Obviously not. 286 00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,416 That is very bad news. 287 00:25:28,593 --> 00:25:32,290 The Zarthans came to Earth to hide the Light from Serleena. 288 00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:35,956 -We don't do that. -Right. I ordered it off the planet. 289 00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:37,761 Well, Zed.... 290 00:25:37,936 --> 00:25:42,373 I got a Kylothian class C in my park. Are you sure this Light isn't here? 291 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:46,136 Positive. I gave the order. My best agent carried it out. 292 00:25:46,311 --> 00:25:48,871 -It's as if I gave it to you. -Ask the agent. 293 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:50,139 -Can't. -Dead? 294 00:25:50,315 --> 00:25:53,478 Sort of. He works at the post office. 295 00:25:54,653 --> 00:25:55,779 No. 296 00:25:55,954 --> 00:25:58,616 If Serleena gets to Kay before we do, he's dead. 297 00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:01,816 The Earth's very existence may rest on what Kay knows. 298 00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:04,461 Too bad you wiped out his memory of it. 299 00:26:04,629 --> 00:26:06,119 Bring him in. 300 00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:07,487 Now. 301 00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:11,727 How cool is this? Going to get Kay. The legend, the go-to guy. 302 00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:14,428 The guy who taught you everything. 303 00:26:14,606 --> 00:26:19,236 -The greatest agent in MiB history! -Frank! Stop talking. 304 00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:24,345 Stay. 305 00:26:24,516 --> 00:26:27,110 Listen, partner. I may look like a dog... 306 00:26:27,285 --> 00:26:29,753 ...but I only play one here on Earth. 307 00:26:30,121 --> 00:26:32,589 -Whatever. Wipe your mouth. -Hey, babe. 308 00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:42,263 People of Truro, may I kindly have your attention? 309 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:44,868 To facilitate your shipping needs... 310 00:26:45,036 --> 00:26:47,698 ...all packages must be properly wrapped. 311 00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:51,740 This one is an example of "go home and do it again." 312 00:26:51,910 --> 00:26:54,708 I think you know what I mean, Mrs. Vigushin. 313 00:26:54,879 --> 00:26:59,748 Brown paper and triple-twist twine are the preferred media. 314 00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:01,647 Thank you for your time. 315 00:27:03,021 --> 00:27:05,751 -Kay. -C. Express mail, two-day air. 316 00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:08,818 Kevin. 317 00:27:10,528 --> 00:27:13,725 Kevin. That's funny. You don't have a "Kevin".... 318 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,698 You don't remember. We worked together. 319 00:27:18,870 --> 00:27:22,966 I never worked in a funeral home. Something I can do for you, slick? 320 00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:24,768 Straight to the point. 321 00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:29,742 You were an agent of an organization that monitors aliens on Earth. 322 00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:33,975 We're the Men in Black. We have a situation. We need your help. 323 00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:37,883 There is a free mental health clinic on the corner of Lilac. 324 00:27:38,056 --> 00:27:40,024 -Next. -Excuse me. 325 00:27:40,558 --> 00:27:42,583 -Twenty Rugrats stamps. -Elizabeth. 326 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:47,061 The Postal Service hasn't kept up with today's youth, but we have... 327 00:27:47,232 --> 00:27:49,894 ...Berlin airlift stamps. Opera legends? 328 00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:53,037 American Samoa? Amish quilts. 329 00:27:53,204 --> 00:27:55,934 I'm sorry, got a world to save here. 330 00:27:57,308 --> 00:27:59,333 There was no coma. It was a cover. 331 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:01,308 -Who are you? -Who are you? 332 00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:05,779 The postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts, and I'm ordering you to leave. 333 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,154 -Is that decaf? -Sorry. 334 00:28:10,321 --> 00:28:12,687 We have a breach. Cordon off this area. 335 00:28:12,857 --> 00:28:15,849 Full perimeter wipe-down, right here, right now. 336 00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:20,430 Get a mop and escort all civilian personnel from this site immediately. 337 00:28:20,598 --> 00:28:23,761 Listen to yourself, Kay. Who talks like that? 338 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:22,625 Why do you think you're so comfortable here? 339 00:29:24,195 --> 00:29:28,029 Just about everybody who works in a post office is an alien. 340 00:29:35,707 --> 00:29:37,732 No smoking. 341 00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:47,777 Kay. 342 00:29:48,086 --> 00:29:51,715 My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy fly a tiger around a room. 343 00:29:51,890 --> 00:29:53,380 You're nothing special. 344 00:29:53,558 --> 00:29:56,459 When you look at the stars, you get a feeling... 345 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,619 ...like you don't know who you are. 346 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:02,426 Like you know more about out there than you do down here. 347 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:07,196 That's why she left you, Kay. That's why your wife left you. 348 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:11,038 Okay, I'll tell you what. 349 00:30:11,209 --> 00:30:15,111 You want to know who you really are, take a ride with me. 350 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,148 If not, people are waiting for their TV Guides. 351 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,810 Think he'll bite? 352 00:30:29,727 --> 00:30:33,458 I'm just going for a ride. If things don't add up, it's hasta luego. 353 00:30:33,631 --> 00:30:35,189 Hey, Kay. 354 00:30:36,534 --> 00:30:38,798 How's it hanging? 355 00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:54,948 Good to see you, Kay. 356 00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:58,179 Good to see you too, whoever you are. 357 00:30:59,557 --> 00:31:03,755 Well, let's see what you got here, chief. 358 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:16,503 Welcome back, Agent Kay. 359 00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:19,039 Agent Kay. 360 00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:21,771 Greetings, Kay. 361 00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:25,246 Wow, look who's back. 362 00:31:25,416 --> 00:31:27,976 I don't mean to bother you-- You're Agent Kay! 363 00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:31,315 -That's what they tell me. -This is an honor. Agent Gee. 364 00:31:31,489 --> 00:31:33,957 The most respected agent in MiB history. 365 00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:36,616 The most feared human in the universe. 366 00:31:36,794 --> 00:31:39,763 Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee? 367 00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:42,593 -Black, two sugars, if you're going. -An honor. 368 00:31:42,767 --> 00:31:46,134 -Yeah, I'll take a-- My man? -Good to see you, Kay. 369 00:31:47,805 --> 00:31:49,204 How'd it go? 370 00:31:49,374 --> 00:31:51,842 The Drolacks are gone and the treaty is signed. 371 00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:52,999 Good work. 372 00:31:53,177 --> 00:31:56,510 What about that position you promised me in Men in Black? 373 00:31:56,681 --> 00:32:00,117 Still working on the alien affirmative action program. 374 00:32:00,285 --> 00:32:02,549 That's not what you promised me. 375 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,813 -You're breaking up. -Zed? Hello? 376 00:32:04,989 --> 00:32:08,584 -I'll call you back. -I could be Agent Em. Zed, you-- 377 00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:14,094 I think Earth might be in a bad way. You're the only one that could save it. 378 00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:17,359 -Well, neither rain, sleet, snow.... -Good man. 379 00:32:17,535 --> 00:32:21,437 Get him armed and up to speed and over to deneuralyzation. 380 00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:23,733 -Frank? -Yeah? 381 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:26,877 I'm gonna need them together on this one. 382 00:32:27,378 --> 00:32:31,007 I need an assistant. It's not field work, but you get dental. 383 00:32:31,182 --> 00:32:32,672 Dental? 384 00:32:35,219 --> 00:32:37,155 The most advanced technologies from all over the universe are in this room. 385 00:32:37,155 --> 00:32:39,624 The most advanced technologies from all over the universe are in this room. 386 00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,125 What's this? 387 00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:42,160 . 388 00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:45,260 All is lost! All is lost! 389 00:32:46,331 --> 00:32:47,889 Don't touch that! 390 00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:50,733 I didn't do anything. 391 00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:54,065 Hands in your pockets. 392 00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:05,642 Your favorite weapon. 393 00:33:08,419 --> 00:33:10,683 -That? -Yep. 394 00:33:11,189 --> 00:33:13,282 -Let's go put it on. -What? 395 00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:15,790 The last suit you'll ever wear. 396 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,518 Again. 397 00:33:24,635 --> 00:33:25,966 The deneuralyzer. 398 00:33:27,538 --> 00:33:30,598 Magneto-energy will surge through your brain... 399 00:33:30,775 --> 00:33:35,371 ...unlocking information that could hold the key to Earth's very survival. 400 00:33:35,546 --> 00:33:38,208 Okay. What's that thing? 401 00:33:39,584 --> 00:33:41,609 The deneuralyzer. 402 00:33:49,060 --> 00:33:53,087 Welcome to planet Earth. There are some rules and regulations. 403 00:33:53,264 --> 00:33:54,663 Go out only at night. 404 00:33:54,832 --> 00:33:59,064 If you must go out during the daylight, only the East Village. 405 00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:05,032 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 406 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,181 Name and planet of origin? 407 00:34:12,350 --> 00:34:16,081 Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn. Kaluth system. 408 00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:21,115 -Any fruits or vegetables? -Yeah, two heads of cabbage. 409 00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:22,281 Reason for visit? 410 00:34:22,460 --> 00:34:25,987 Education. I want to learn how to be an underwear model. 411 00:34:26,164 --> 00:34:28,894 They told me I've got real potential. 412 00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:33,233 Help! Heart attack! 413 00:34:34,472 --> 00:34:35,905 Clear! 414 00:34:37,175 --> 00:34:39,166 Wake up, champ! 415 00:34:44,382 --> 00:34:47,874 -Oh, jeez. -Lockdown. Code 101. 416 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:50,754 Lockdown. 417 00:34:51,656 --> 00:34:54,284 This is not good. This is not good. 418 00:35:00,965 --> 00:35:03,957 -Breach! We're being flushed. -Flushed? 419 00:35:04,535 --> 00:35:07,663 -Ever been to a water park? -I don't know. 420 00:35:41,506 --> 00:35:42,837 Flushed. 421 00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:48,438 Yeah, man, back when you was an agent, you loved getting flushed. 422 00:35:48,613 --> 00:35:53,209 Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me." 423 00:35:53,384 --> 00:35:55,113 I'd be like, "No." 424 00:35:56,754 --> 00:35:58,244 You can't quit on me. 425 00:35:58,422 --> 00:36:01,323 I save the world, you tell me why I stare at the stars. 426 00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:03,050 Cool. 427 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:04,829 . 428 00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:05,329 . 429 00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:07,331 -Hop in. -Hop in what? 430 00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:09,167 . 431 00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:14,728 Does that come standard? 432 00:36:14,906 --> 00:36:19,036 It came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over. 433 00:36:21,546 --> 00:36:26,449 I could rule this place with the right set of mammary glands. 434 00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:28,375 Trapped like rats... 435 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,178 ...in a Chia Pet. 436 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:32,948 Computer, surveillance MiB. 437 00:36:37,728 --> 00:36:39,559 MiB's locked down. 438 00:36:41,666 --> 00:36:45,261 Computer, magnify. Times 10. 439 00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:48,304 Communicator. Frank. 440 00:36:48,573 --> 00:36:50,905 -Jay, where are you? -We got flushed. 441 00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:53,236 -MiB's code 101. -Yeah, who did it? 442 00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:56,380 Some hot-looking biker chick. Want me to tail her? 443 00:36:56,547 --> 00:37:01,416 -Stay where you are. I'll be in touch. -Stay where I am. Easy for you to say. 444 00:37:01,586 --> 00:37:02,985 -Find Kay? -Neuralyzed. 445 00:37:03,154 --> 00:37:05,782 -Not active. Civilian. -What? 446 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:06,981 -He was-- -Here. 447 00:37:07,158 --> 00:37:08,489 -To get-- -Deneuralyzed. 448 00:37:08,659 --> 00:37:13,187 -Memory's shot. But we'll find him. -Don't put anything in our ears. 449 00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:15,154 What? 450 00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:18,791 What do you make of that? Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh? 451 00:37:18,970 --> 00:37:21,700 -Yeah, a smile. -ls that the only deneuralyzer? 452 00:37:21,872 --> 00:37:24,807 Officially. The plans leaked out on the Internet. 453 00:37:24,976 --> 00:37:26,967 Computer, lnternet. 454 00:37:27,144 --> 00:37:28,975 Deneuralyzer. 455 00:37:33,050 --> 00:37:35,018 Perfect. It's an old friend. 456 00:37:42,793 --> 00:37:44,818 Jay, ain't seen you in a while. 457 00:37:44,996 --> 00:37:47,726 Did you peep that drop-top thing out front? 458 00:37:47,898 --> 00:37:50,025 My business is banging, dog. 459 00:37:50,534 --> 00:37:53,901 You gotta check out the website. It's Jeebsie dot-- 460 00:37:54,138 --> 00:37:56,163 Okay, whoa. He's retired, right? 461 00:37:56,607 --> 00:37:58,370 We need the deneuralyzer. 462 00:37:58,542 --> 00:38:01,875 -You're kidding. -The meter's running, Jeebs. 463 00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,512 Do you remember me? 464 00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:09,144 Can't say I do. I'm good with faces. 465 00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:11,449 I think I'd remember that. 466 00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:14,716 The great Kay's a neutral. 467 00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:19,192 You're between me and my memories. Do you have this deneuralyzer or not? 468 00:38:19,363 --> 00:38:20,694 No. 469 00:38:21,832 --> 00:38:23,322 Fresh out. 470 00:38:24,568 --> 00:38:26,229 Can't help you. 471 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,830 Don't got it. 472 00:38:38,516 --> 00:38:42,418 Even if I did, if it doesn't work, he dies, you blow my head off. 473 00:38:42,586 --> 00:38:46,613 If it does, I've brought back Kay, who, for fun, blows my head off. 474 00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:48,691 So, what's my incentive? 475 00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:53,190 Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs next to the snow blowers. 476 00:38:56,701 --> 00:38:59,932 Alien prisoners released, armed and ready for your orders. 477 00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:03,540 Prisoners of MiB, the scum of the universe. 478 00:39:03,974 --> 00:39:05,566 Now it's the scum's turn. 479 00:39:05,743 --> 00:39:08,177 I'm in a jam, so I'll make this simple. 480 00:39:08,612 --> 00:39:12,048 I need the Light of Zartha, and Kay knows where it is. 481 00:39:12,216 --> 00:39:14,548 Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth. 482 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:18,018 Find a deneuralyzer. They want his memory back. 483 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:20,020 Check. 484 00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:22,215 Now. 485 00:39:25,629 --> 00:39:27,597 Jarra, good to see you. 486 00:39:31,569 --> 00:39:33,469 Okay, that should do it. 487 00:39:33,637 --> 00:39:38,006 If I could have your attention while we go over the safety procedures. 488 00:39:38,175 --> 00:39:40,700 Keep your hands inside the vehicle. 489 00:39:40,878 --> 00:39:43,972 If, during the ride, you become disoriented... 490 00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:46,810 ...there's nothing we can do about it. 491 00:39:48,285 --> 00:39:50,719 Have you removed all your jewelry? 492 00:39:52,323 --> 00:39:54,723 -Are you allergic to shellfish? -Jeebs! 493 00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:57,690 Right, then! Smoke 'em if you got 'em. 494 00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:05,668 Have you used this? 495 00:40:05,870 --> 00:40:09,636 I used it to make some hot-air popcorn. That's about it. 496 00:40:09,807 --> 00:40:12,742 Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n! 497 00:41:07,932 --> 00:41:09,365 Perfect. 498 00:41:23,047 --> 00:41:25,106 -You're back. -No. 499 00:41:25,282 --> 00:41:28,479 -How'd you know his head grows back? -It grows back? 500 00:41:30,988 --> 00:41:34,890 Real nice. Okay, that's the last time I help out a friend. 501 00:41:37,361 --> 00:41:39,852 -Kay, you remember anything? -Goodbye. 502 00:41:40,030 --> 00:41:41,588 -Kay! -Kay, wait! 503 00:41:42,433 --> 00:41:45,960 I never got the updated software. Still working off the 6.0. 504 00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:48,070 Your brain needs to reboot. 505 00:41:49,306 --> 00:41:50,637 Give it a minute. 506 00:41:50,808 --> 00:41:52,207 Kay! 507 00:41:52,476 --> 00:41:55,746 Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. I hope it won't affect our friendship. 508 00:41:55,746 --> 00:41:57,737 Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. I hope it won't affect our friendship. 509 00:41:57,915 --> 00:42:02,443 All those years of loyalty and trust, respect for one another. 510 00:42:04,889 --> 00:42:06,186 Right over there! 511 00:42:07,725 --> 00:42:10,193 -Where's Kay? -He's not here! He went-- 512 00:42:10,394 --> 00:42:13,727 Kay's retired. I'm his trigger-happy replacement. 513 00:42:13,898 --> 00:42:17,459 Right in the pie hole. Now nothing's gonna taste right. 514 00:42:17,635 --> 00:42:20,103 -Lower your weapon. -No. 515 00:42:25,609 --> 00:42:28,134 Jay, how are you, boo-boo? 516 00:42:28,312 --> 00:42:30,974 -These guys really need Kay. -He's a neutral. 517 00:42:31,148 --> 00:42:34,811 -Tell me something we don't know. -Yeah, tell me something-- 518 00:42:34,985 --> 00:42:36,577 I am so sorry. 519 00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:38,745 -God bless you. -Thank you. 520 00:42:40,024 --> 00:42:44,051 If I don't bring Kay back to MiB, Serleena's gonna kick my ass. 521 00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:46,287 -Now, where is he? -Where is who? 522 00:42:46,463 --> 00:42:49,023 You don't look too good. 523 00:42:49,767 --> 00:42:51,632 Yeah, and you look like crap. 524 00:42:54,438 --> 00:42:57,305 I take that back. He look like crap. 525 00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:01,810 -Bend him! -Bend him. 526 00:43:01,979 --> 00:43:03,844 Wait, don't bend him. 527 00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,416 Damn decent of you. 528 00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:45,285 Don't mention it. 529 00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:08,941 -I'm gonna be sick. -You don't wanna do that. 530 00:44:09,113 --> 00:44:13,140 -Fellas, I think he's telling the truth. -Then he's no good to us. 531 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:18,478 -Didn't I teach you anything, kid? -Pineal eye! 532 00:44:21,058 --> 00:44:22,753 Go for the mosh tendrils! 533 00:44:24,828 --> 00:44:26,830 . 534 00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,832 Kay, he's a ball-chinnian. 535 00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:29,833 . 536 00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:35,762 -You were in a tight spot. -I handled it. 537 00:44:35,939 --> 00:44:38,737 -You need a partner. -I had one. Job got too tough. 538 00:44:38,909 --> 00:44:41,241 I'm back. You got some dust on your coat. 539 00:44:41,412 --> 00:44:43,277 So you got your memory back. 540 00:44:43,447 --> 00:44:45,915 -What the hell is going on? -Don't know. 541 00:44:46,083 --> 00:44:48,551 -The Light of Zartha? -Never heard of it. 542 00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:49,743 Cool. 543 00:44:53,090 --> 00:44:55,422 You don't remember the Light of Zartha? 544 00:44:55,592 --> 00:44:58,288 Must've neuralyzed myself to keep it from myself. 545 00:44:58,462 --> 00:45:01,727 -Good plan. What you doing? -I do the driving. 546 00:45:01,899 --> 00:45:03,890 -Wait, no. Whoa. -I remember that. 547 00:45:04,068 --> 00:45:08,004 What you remember is you used to drive that old, busted jawn. 548 00:45:08,172 --> 00:45:11,232 I drive the new hotness. 549 00:45:11,408 --> 00:45:15,037 Old and busted, new hotness. 550 00:45:23,987 --> 00:45:26,080 Old busted hotness. 551 00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:29,153 -Serleena, please. -Been a long time, Zed. 552 00:45:29,326 --> 00:45:32,955 I'm just touched you remembered me. Makes me fuzzy all over. 553 00:45:33,130 --> 00:45:36,463 Never forget a pretty whatever you are. 554 00:45:38,702 --> 00:45:40,397 Zed? 555 00:45:40,771 --> 00:45:42,432 Zed? Look at you. 556 00:45:42,606 --> 00:45:45,598 Twenty-five years, and you're still such a looker. 557 00:45:45,776 --> 00:45:47,505 Cut out the meat and dairy. 558 00:45:47,678 --> 00:45:51,478 And you, still a pile of squirmy crap in a different wrapper. 559 00:45:51,815 --> 00:45:55,478 So feisty. Look, we both need the same thing. 560 00:45:58,388 --> 00:45:59,912 Bring him in. 561 00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:01,683 Don't think so. 562 00:46:01,859 --> 00:46:05,818 What about the Light's secret? If it's not off Earth by midnight... 563 00:46:05,996 --> 00:46:09,432 ...it self-destructs, annihilating your little planet. 564 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,468 I lose, you lose. I win, everything keeps spinning. 565 00:46:13,871 --> 00:46:17,830 You don't want the Light on Earth any more than I do. 566 00:46:20,444 --> 00:46:22,139 All right, Serleena. 567 00:46:23,413 --> 00:46:25,278 You win. 568 00:46:26,884 --> 00:46:30,217 Zed? Is that you? I could be Agent Em. 569 00:46:30,587 --> 00:46:32,020 Zed. Hello? 570 00:46:42,533 --> 00:46:44,592 So feisty. 571 00:46:49,072 --> 00:46:52,735 Fastest way back to MiB, you take this right on 39th. 572 00:46:52,910 --> 00:46:54,468 Right here. Right. 573 00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:58,410 Next right on 37th. 574 00:46:58,582 --> 00:47:01,050 Right here. Right! 575 00:47:01,385 --> 00:47:02,943 We're not going back. 576 00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:08,183 Headquarters has been breached, man. We need to peel caps and split wigs. 577 00:47:08,358 --> 00:47:09,985 Not ready. 578 00:47:10,427 --> 00:47:13,885 Look, you've been out for five years. That's a long time. 579 00:47:14,064 --> 00:47:17,158 I understand you're scared. I'm a little scared too. 580 00:47:17,334 --> 00:47:19,393 -I'm not scared. -Me neither. 581 00:47:19,970 --> 00:47:22,370 I just thought we was bonding. 582 00:47:23,207 --> 00:47:27,303 You're acting like a rookie. Splitting wigs and stepping on caps. 583 00:47:27,477 --> 00:47:31,573 -No wonder Zed brought me back. -He did it because you messed up. 584 00:47:31,748 --> 00:47:34,444 Your attitude makes for a stressful environment. 585 00:47:34,618 --> 00:47:38,679 Tell it to the hand. Stressful is what we got back at MiB. 586 00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:43,452 Exactly. Serleena broke into MiB in order to lure me back. 587 00:47:43,627 --> 00:47:45,686 lnto a trap. 588 00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:48,423 Which is why we can't bust in there. 589 00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:51,591 We need a plan. Where we going? Scene of the crime? 590 00:47:51,768 --> 00:47:55,966 -You're the boss. -Scene of the crime. That's a left. 591 00:47:58,442 --> 00:48:00,910 I'll contact the witness. We'll talk to her. 592 00:48:01,078 --> 00:48:04,343 Things have changed. We used to neuralyze witnesses. 593 00:48:05,682 --> 00:48:07,411 See, originally, I'd-- 594 00:48:08,418 --> 00:48:12,912 No, I was going to-- I interrogated her. 595 00:48:13,090 --> 00:48:14,124 -Then neuralyzed her? -What? 596 00:48:14,124 --> 00:48:14,749 -Then neuralyzed her? -What? 597 00:48:14,925 --> 00:48:20,329 MiB code 773/I-1 clearly states that all civilian personnel-- 598 00:48:21,331 --> 00:48:22,821 -Drop that weapon! -No! 599 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,592 Jay, I'm-- I'm sorry. 600 00:48:24,768 --> 00:48:27,703 No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault. 601 00:48:28,038 --> 00:48:30,506 Kay, my partner. Laura, the witness. 602 00:48:30,674 --> 00:48:31,800 Pleasure. 603 00:48:33,076 --> 00:48:37,672 Thanks for sending those agents over to keep an eye on me last night. 604 00:48:37,848 --> 00:48:39,839 MiB procedural code 594-B... 605 00:48:40,017 --> 00:48:43,180 ...states that MiB personnel shall never be used-- 606 00:48:43,353 --> 00:48:48,689 Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here. I assume the perp was over here. 607 00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:50,417 Ben. 608 00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:53,427 -Was he 5'7", thinning hair? -You knew him? 609 00:48:53,864 --> 00:48:56,094 Nope. Never seen him before in my life. 610 00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:59,167 That is a hell of a fish. 611 00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:03,168 Wait a minute. 612 00:49:08,312 --> 00:49:09,711 You left yourself clues? 613 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,941 In case I was deneuralyzed because my replacement couldn't handle it. 614 00:49:14,117 --> 00:49:18,781 If the joker that had got deneuralyzed hadn't created the situation-- 615 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,287 Boys. 616 00:49:22,192 --> 00:49:25,093 All right. You pointing at something. 617 00:49:29,266 --> 00:49:30,631 Excuse me. 618 00:49:32,169 --> 00:49:33,761 The astronaut. 619 00:49:35,372 --> 00:49:36,532 Jay? 620 00:49:37,007 --> 00:49:39,305 Okay, all right. He's pointing.... 621 00:49:39,476 --> 00:49:41,444 He's like.... 622 00:49:44,214 --> 00:49:46,011 Who would stack boxes like this? 623 00:49:46,183 --> 00:49:50,017 A box stacker who's not stacking boxes. He's leaving clues. 624 00:49:50,187 --> 00:49:51,677 It's an arrow. 625 00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:58,090 -Jay? -You're slowing me down, slick. 626 00:49:58,261 --> 00:50:01,890 Whatever we're looking for is in these cabinets, right here. 627 00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:06,360 Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil. 628 00:50:09,906 --> 00:50:12,272 I hope I'm not slowing you down. 629 00:50:12,876 --> 00:50:15,504 Good work, partner. Yeah. 630 00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:18,614 -We gotta figure out where it goes. -I know where. 631 00:50:18,915 --> 00:50:23,045 -No. Not yet. -MiB code 773 clearly says-- 632 00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:26,417 I know the code, but she might be important to me. 633 00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:29,515 To us. Well, for help. To help us later. 634 00:50:30,193 --> 00:50:32,889 Well, she can't stay here. They'll be back. 635 00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:39,296 -You can stay with friends of mine. -People like you? 636 00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:40,592 Kind of. 637 00:50:40,771 --> 00:50:42,329 Jay! 638 00:50:42,506 --> 00:50:44,997 -Low bridge! -What's going on, man? 639 00:50:45,175 --> 00:50:48,440 Hey, what's happening, fellas? MiB is code 101 . 640 00:50:49,046 --> 00:50:50,411 -Bad. -Very bad. 641 00:50:50,580 --> 00:50:54,641 -I need your help. This is Laura. -Laura! 642 00:50:54,818 --> 00:50:56,479 Easy, easy! 643 00:50:56,653 --> 00:50:57,642 They're worms. 644 00:50:57,821 --> 00:51:01,120 Once you go worm, that's what you'll yearn. 645 00:51:01,291 --> 00:51:04,624 -That's what they say. They just: -I've dated worse. 646 00:51:05,162 --> 00:51:07,756 They're suspended for stealing from duty-free. 647 00:51:07,931 --> 00:51:10,729 -We were framed. -Zed's wormophobic. 648 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,198 -Kay! -You're back! 649 00:51:12,369 --> 00:51:15,099 -They said you were dead. -We're double-parked. 650 00:51:15,272 --> 00:51:17,172 Laura's very important to me. 651 00:51:17,874 --> 00:51:21,469 To us. To the stuff-- Me and you, the stuff we're doing. 652 00:51:22,612 --> 00:51:25,604 -Keep an eye on her. -I'll keep both on her. 653 00:51:25,782 --> 00:51:26,771 No problem! 654 00:51:29,019 --> 00:51:31,783 -Why don't you sit here? -Like you got a shot. 655 00:51:31,955 --> 00:51:33,115 Hey, shut up! 656 00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:38,989 My communicator, in case you need it. 657 00:51:42,632 --> 00:51:44,259 -Nice move. -Okay. 658 00:51:46,903 --> 00:51:50,703 -Just watch out for Neeble. -Which one's Neeble? 659 00:51:53,143 --> 00:51:55,373 -Which one of y'all is Neeble? -Yo, mama! 660 00:51:55,545 --> 00:51:59,743 Him, right there. It's fine. Everything's straight. It's safe. 661 00:51:59,916 --> 00:52:01,907 Don't fall asleep. 662 00:52:03,653 --> 00:52:05,314 Twister! 663 00:52:07,324 --> 00:52:11,988 Run over your plan one more time. I'm struggling with it. 664 00:52:12,162 --> 00:52:16,064 You neuralyzed memory of the Light but left yourself clues. 665 00:52:16,233 --> 00:52:17,222 Right. 666 00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:22,463 Photo pointing to a key in a pizzeria which opens a locker at Grand Central. 667 00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:26,700 -ln the locker, we'll find another clue. -That's the plan. 668 00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:32,741 -I like to keep my enemies confused. -We're all confused. 669 00:52:35,018 --> 00:52:39,352 -Are you gonna slow me down? -Your brain's working on old software. 670 00:52:39,523 --> 00:52:41,753 Why don't you go grab us some coffee? 671 00:52:41,925 --> 00:52:45,417 Sure. How do you take it? Black? Couple cubes of kiss my ass? 672 00:52:45,595 --> 00:52:48,996 I don't know what's in there, so step back. 673 00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:52,624 Kay, for real, man. Open the damn locker. 674 00:52:57,207 --> 00:52:59,607 Kay! He's back! The light giver! 675 00:52:59,776 --> 00:53:02,267 All hail Kay! All hail Kay! 676 00:53:02,646 --> 00:53:06,514 Oh, Kay, can you see By the dawn's early light 677 00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:09,550 You are the man who would be king of the train locker. 678 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:10,708 Praise Kay! 679 00:53:10,887 --> 00:53:15,688 Oh, good and gentle townsfolk of Locker C-18... 680 00:53:15,859 --> 00:53:19,420 -...did I leave anything here? -Yes. The timekeeper. 681 00:53:19,596 --> 00:53:22,258 Left to illuminate our streets and hearts. 682 00:53:22,432 --> 00:53:26,892 -I've been looking everywhere for this. -Merciful one! The clock tower! 683 00:53:27,070 --> 00:53:29,800 I got y'all, it's cool. Check this out. 684 00:53:30,073 --> 00:53:33,201 Titanium case. Waterproof to over 300 meters. 685 00:53:33,977 --> 00:53:36,537 -That's banging. -Who are you, stranger? 686 00:53:36,980 --> 00:53:38,572 Jay. 687 00:53:39,015 --> 00:53:41,210 All hail Jay! All hail Jay! 688 00:53:41,651 --> 00:53:43,676 Oh, Jay, can you see 689 00:53:43,853 --> 00:53:46,913 -Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of-- -Come on. 690 00:53:47,457 --> 00:53:49,618 -Wait! The commandments! -The tablet! 691 00:53:49,793 --> 00:53:52,819 The tablet! The tablet! The tablet! The tablet! 692 00:53:52,996 --> 00:53:57,023 We have lived by its word, and peace has reigned throughout our world. 693 00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,601 Pass it on to others! So that they too may be enlightened! 694 00:54:00,770 --> 00:54:02,431 Be kind! Rewind! 695 00:54:02,606 --> 00:54:04,437 Reconcile your past... 696 00:54:04,874 --> 00:54:07,274 ...in order to move into your future! 697 00:54:07,444 --> 00:54:09,810 Two for one every Wednesday. 698 00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:13,347 Give twice as much as ye receive on our most sacred of days. 699 00:54:13,617 --> 00:54:14,675 Every Wednesday. 700 00:54:14,851 --> 00:54:18,651 Large adult entertainment section in the back. 701 00:54:22,058 --> 00:54:23,616 That's just nasty. 702 00:54:24,461 --> 00:54:26,725 -What's with the video card? -Don't know. 703 00:54:26,896 --> 00:54:28,386 -The watch? -A reminder. 704 00:54:28,565 --> 00:54:29,964 -Of what? -Can't remember. 705 00:54:30,133 --> 00:54:31,122 Guess. 706 00:54:31,301 --> 00:54:35,067 I guess we have till midnight. 59 minutes to figure it out. 707 00:54:37,474 --> 00:54:41,604 Look. Here's an idea. Let's stop chasing butt-backwards clues... 708 00:54:41,778 --> 00:54:45,942 ...get a couple fission carbonizers and get our headquarters back. 709 00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:48,277 It's all about to make sense, kid. 710 00:54:48,451 --> 00:54:50,214 ls this card valid? 711 00:54:51,855 --> 00:54:55,689 -This card hasn't been used in years. -I've been away on business. 712 00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:58,191 -Billions of frequent flier miles. -Try and use them. 713 00:54:58,361 --> 00:55:02,388 I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can get a lobster dinner for a dollar. 714 00:55:02,766 --> 00:55:08,102 The airlines black out holidays. It's a conspiracy, I'm sure, I mean-- 715 00:55:08,271 --> 00:55:10,967 Can you tell us anything about the account? 716 00:55:11,374 --> 00:55:13,308 You never checked out a tape. 717 00:55:13,476 --> 00:55:16,809 You reserved one once, but you never picked it up. 718 00:55:17,347 --> 00:55:19,781 -Newton. -There's a rat in the toilet. 719 00:55:19,949 --> 00:55:24,215 It's all stopped up. You're gonna have to pee in the sin-- 720 00:55:27,424 --> 00:55:30,393 -Still think I'm paranoid? -Yeah. 721 00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:36,622 Gentlemen, my name is Newton. I run the place. Seen any aliens lately? 722 00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:41,032 -You need professional help. -He's getting it. It's not working. 723 00:55:41,204 --> 00:55:43,434 Okay, so, new case, huh? 724 00:55:43,606 --> 00:55:46,040 Episode 27, Light of Zartha. 725 00:55:47,577 --> 00:55:48,874 Got it. 726 00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:53,278 Jarra, it's a sin they've kept a genius like you locked away. 727 00:55:53,450 --> 00:55:57,409 Their agent Jay caught me siphoning ozone to sell on the black market. 728 00:55:57,587 --> 00:55:59,521 They're touchy about global warming. 729 00:55:59,689 --> 00:56:03,250 I need a spacecraft that can travel 300 times the speed of light. 730 00:56:03,426 --> 00:56:05,394 I'll give you whatever you want. 731 00:56:05,562 --> 00:56:08,087 -Give me Jay. We'll call it even. -Groovy. 732 00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:11,333 You've got till midnight. 733 00:56:15,505 --> 00:56:19,100 Gatbot, I got a little something special for you. 734 00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:26,378 Newton? Newton, is that you? 735 00:56:26,549 --> 00:56:29,040 Yes, Mom, I'm up here with some friends. 736 00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:30,811 I wanna have your baby. 737 00:56:30,987 --> 00:56:33,080 Would you like some mini-pizza? 738 00:56:34,023 --> 00:56:37,117 You guys want some mini-pizzas? They're good. 739 00:56:37,293 --> 00:56:40,490 They're like mini-bagels, with pizza stuff on them. 740 00:56:40,663 --> 00:56:43,461 She'll put a little fontina cheese on. 741 00:56:43,633 --> 00:56:47,592 She has palsy, so she ends up putting a lot of cheese on. 742 00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:54,369 No, thanks, we're cool. 743 00:56:54,544 --> 00:56:55,806 All right. 744 00:56:57,547 --> 00:56:58,912 Over here. 745 00:57:03,586 --> 00:57:04,917 This is it. 746 00:57:05,221 --> 00:57:07,519 Finally some hard evidence. 747 00:57:07,757 --> 00:57:11,454 Gentlemen, before I play the tape, one question: 748 00:57:12,061 --> 00:57:13,824 What's up with anal probing? 749 00:57:13,997 --> 00:57:17,899 Aliens travel billions of light years just to check out our-- 750 00:57:18,067 --> 00:57:20,331 Boy, move. 751 00:57:20,503 --> 00:57:23,404 Okay. Just a question. 752 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:28,002 Here is one of their stories that "never happened"... 753 00:57:28,178 --> 00:57:32,046 ...from one of their files that doesn't exist. 754 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:38,444 1978. Devastating war of Zartha had raged on for 50 years. 755 00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:40,384 Looks like Spielberg's work. 756 00:57:40,557 --> 00:57:44,459 But the Zarthans had a great treasure, the Light of Zartha. 757 00:57:44,627 --> 00:57:47,994 A source of power so awesome, it alone... 758 00:57:48,164 --> 00:57:51,759 ...could mean victory and restoration for the Zarthans... 759 00:57:51,935 --> 00:57:56,372 ...or complete annihilation, if it fell into the hands of the Kylothians. 760 00:57:56,539 --> 00:58:00,635 A group of Zarthans made the journey, led by the Keeper of the Light... 761 00:58:00,810 --> 00:58:02,277 Lauranna. 762 00:58:02,712 --> 00:58:04,805 ...Princess Lauranna. 763 00:58:05,114 --> 00:58:09,676 Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black to help her hide the Light on Earth. 764 00:58:09,853 --> 00:58:12,219 But they could not intervene. 765 00:58:12,388 --> 00:58:13,616 No. 766 00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:15,450 It was night. 767 00:58:17,660 --> 00:58:19,093 And it was raining. 768 00:58:19,762 --> 00:58:21,161 You've been very wise. 769 00:58:21,331 --> 00:58:25,893 Kay, please. If Serleena takes the Light, it's the end of our world. 770 00:58:26,536 --> 00:58:29,869 If we extend protection for the Light beyond Earth... 771 00:58:30,039 --> 00:58:33,372 ...we put Earth in jeopardy. We must remain neutral. 772 00:58:33,576 --> 00:58:36,136 -Where is it? -We're neutral, remember? 773 00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:38,541 If you want it, go get it. 774 00:58:42,785 --> 00:58:44,275 No! 775 00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:15,714 And so never knowing it happened... 776 00:59:15,885 --> 00:59:18,820 ...the people of Earth were once again saved... 777 00:59:18,988 --> 00:59:22,116 ...by a secret society of protectors-- 778 00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:24,887 I shouldn't have. 779 00:59:25,862 --> 00:59:28,296 You never sent it off the planet. 780 00:59:29,399 --> 00:59:30,832 You hid it here. 781 00:59:32,835 --> 00:59:34,234 The worm guys. 782 00:59:38,408 --> 00:59:41,206 Are you one of Newton's friends from therapy? 783 00:59:41,377 --> 00:59:45,871 -Yes, ma'am, I am. Look here, please. -Would you like some mini-pizz--? 784 00:59:46,883 --> 00:59:48,510 A neuralyz-- 785 00:59:49,552 --> 00:59:53,113 Okay, first, get some contact lenses. 786 00:59:53,289 --> 00:59:55,587 Joints look like they pick up cable. 787 00:59:55,758 --> 01:00:00,354 Second, take her to Cambodia. Get her lobster. Pay more than a dollar. 788 01:00:00,530 --> 01:00:03,829 Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia... 789 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,026 ...move your bum ass out of your mom's house. 790 01:00:07,203 --> 01:00:09,603 -Let's go. -Boy, you like 40 years old. 791 01:00:09,772 --> 01:00:12,070 -Agent Jay? -All right, all right. 792 01:00:12,241 --> 01:00:16,234 And there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black. 793 01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:25,649 -You wanna go to Cambodia? -Yeah. 794 01:00:27,790 --> 01:00:29,189 Hey, Mom? 795 01:00:29,792 --> 01:00:31,885 Communicator, Jay. 796 01:00:32,762 --> 01:00:35,560 -Laura, it's me. -Jay, we're playing Twister. 797 01:00:35,732 --> 01:00:37,529 What's up, Jay? 798 01:00:37,700 --> 01:00:40,965 -Quit touching my butt! -I thought it was your face. 799 01:00:41,137 --> 01:00:44,163 They're good at this. They don't have spines. 800 01:00:44,340 --> 01:00:47,309 They were telling me about Oprah, from Chicago. 801 01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:50,708 Maybe landed in Chicago. 802 01:00:51,347 --> 01:00:53,872 -Are you wearing a bracelet? -Yeah. 803 01:00:54,050 --> 01:00:55,108 ls it glowing? 804 01:01:00,223 --> 01:01:03,215 -It's never done that before. -We're on our way. 805 01:01:03,393 --> 01:01:04,917 Communicator, Frank. 806 01:01:05,228 --> 01:01:10,757 Deactivate the lockdown. We're headed to the worm guys. We found the Light. 807 01:01:10,933 --> 01:01:13,663 Got it, Jay. Scrad? 808 01:01:13,836 --> 01:01:14,962 Bitch. 809 01:01:15,138 --> 01:01:17,038 Why didn't you say I love you? 810 01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:21,836 -He's a dog. I don't even like him. -No, the girl. You're sweet on her. 811 01:01:22,011 --> 01:01:25,174 That's why you didn't neuralyze her. You got emotionally involved. 812 01:01:25,348 --> 01:01:29,842 -Like you did with Lauranna? -I put the entire planet in danger. 813 01:01:30,019 --> 01:01:33,284 I don't want to see you making my mistakes. 814 01:01:33,456 --> 01:01:35,014 Whatever, man. 815 01:01:39,395 --> 01:01:40,623 Laura? 816 01:01:47,603 --> 01:01:48,627 Damn! 817 01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:55,010 Never stood half a chance. 818 01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:57,337 Oh, boy. 819 01:01:58,448 --> 01:02:00,507 That's gonna leave a scar. 820 01:02:01,884 --> 01:02:03,715 -Where's Laura? -MiB headquarters. 821 01:02:03,886 --> 01:02:07,014 -Some dumb two-headed guy. -They got the bracelet. 822 01:02:07,190 --> 01:02:09,954 We got 39 minutes. You guys... 823 01:02:10,126 --> 01:02:12,287 ...pull yourselves together. 824 01:02:13,029 --> 01:02:14,087 Damn. 825 01:02:15,498 --> 01:02:17,557 That's feeling better. 826 01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:20,464 -Hey, guys, wait up! -Let me grab my drink! 827 01:02:20,636 --> 01:02:22,661 Serleena has the bracelet. Why take Laura? 828 01:02:22,839 --> 01:02:23,999 She also wants me. 829 01:02:24,173 --> 01:02:27,472 -What's the book say? -We're off book. I say split some wigs. 830 01:02:27,643 --> 01:02:29,873 -We need wig-splitting weapons. -Got them. 831 01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:38,478 Paw Paw's coming to visit me. Hello, Paw Paw. 832 01:02:38,654 --> 01:02:41,646 Paw Paw and ZuZu love to see what's going on in the garden. 833 01:02:41,824 --> 01:02:45,394 Don't worry, folks. I used to live here. Came to pick up a few things. 834 01:02:45,394 --> 01:02:46,295 Don't worry, folks. I used to live here. Came to pick up a few things. 835 01:02:46,295 --> 01:02:49,799 . 836 01:02:49,799 --> 01:02:50,399 Nice place. 837 01:02:50,399 --> 01:02:51,764 Nice place. 838 01:03:04,247 --> 01:03:05,509 See you. 839 01:03:15,324 --> 01:03:18,122 You did not see a room full of weapons or four aliens. 840 01:03:18,294 --> 01:03:21,024 You will cherish and love each other for the rest of your lives. 841 01:03:21,197 --> 01:03:25,156 Which could be the next 28 minutes, so get to loving and cherishing. 842 01:03:25,334 --> 01:03:27,996 And she can stay up as late as she want... 843 01:03:28,171 --> 01:03:30,799 ...and have cookies and candy and stuff. 844 01:03:41,684 --> 01:03:43,879 Four minutes to launch. 845 01:03:44,053 --> 01:03:45,987 Four minutes to launch. 846 01:03:46,689 --> 01:03:50,716 -Your ship is ready. -Good. Send it to Kyloth now. 847 01:03:54,096 --> 01:03:55,324 Ready, guys? 848 01:03:55,498 --> 01:03:57,693 Lock and load, baby. 849 01:03:57,867 --> 01:03:59,528 -You ready, kid? -Kid? 850 01:03:59,702 --> 01:04:02,728 I saved the world from a Kreelon invasion. 851 01:04:02,905 --> 01:04:07,069 They're the Backstreet Boys of the universe. They throw snowballs? 852 01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:09,311 Know what you're doing? 853 01:04:09,478 --> 01:04:12,470 I'm about to attack one of the most feared aliens... 854 01:04:12,648 --> 01:04:15,913 ...with four worms and a mailman. Let's make it hot. 855 01:04:16,085 --> 01:04:17,347 No, no, wait! 856 01:04:23,125 --> 01:04:25,423 A code 101 lockdown! 857 01:04:25,595 --> 01:04:29,622 The building gets pressurized. Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that. 858 01:04:29,799 --> 01:04:31,824 Yeah, you knew. Front and center, worms! 859 01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:33,298 You got it. 860 01:04:39,942 --> 01:04:45,437 It's about time you guys got here. That lady is causing all kinds of hell. 861 01:05:05,768 --> 01:05:09,033 Yummy. Someone I need to eat. 862 01:05:09,238 --> 01:05:13,174 Get to the launch pad. The bracelet shows the departure point. 863 01:05:13,342 --> 01:05:15,333 -Do not come back for me. -What? 864 01:05:15,511 --> 01:05:18,207 Do not come back for me. 865 01:05:22,451 --> 01:05:26,547 -Worm guys, give me some cover fire. -Too scared, can't move. 866 01:05:36,232 --> 01:05:37,426 Go! 867 01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:51,079 -Limber. -Go to subcontrol panel 7-R-Delta. 868 01:05:51,247 --> 01:05:56,742 -Shut off power so they can't take off. -Can't. Too scared. 869 01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:00,314 -That way. -Away from the bullets. 870 01:06:00,489 --> 01:06:02,116 No problem. 871 01:06:16,772 --> 01:06:18,672 Nice to see you again, Kay. 872 01:06:22,945 --> 01:06:24,970 -Three minutes to launch. -Jay! 873 01:06:25,147 --> 01:06:27,342 Three minutes to launch. 874 01:06:27,850 --> 01:06:29,317 Hello, Jay. Long time. 875 01:06:29,485 --> 01:06:31,976 Jarra! What's up, man? You look great. 876 01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:34,782 -What's it been? Five years? -And 42 days. 877 01:06:34,957 --> 01:06:37,289 You count every one when you're locked away. 878 01:06:37,326 --> 01:06:41,530 You shouldn't have tried to steal our ozone. Be there in one minute. 879 01:06:41,530 --> 01:06:42,331 . 880 01:06:42,832 --> 01:06:45,426 Over our dead titanium bodies! 881 01:06:45,601 --> 01:06:47,068 Two minutes. 882 01:06:53,709 --> 01:06:55,540 Let's play this one by ear. 883 01:06:58,347 --> 01:07:02,579 -I should have vaporized you before. -You really did love Lauranna. 884 01:07:02,752 --> 01:07:04,617 Didn't you, Kay? 885 01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:06,945 You silly little man. 886 01:07:35,184 --> 01:07:37,243 Two minutes to launch. 887 01:07:39,188 --> 01:07:40,621 Just go, I'll be fine! 888 01:07:41,424 --> 01:07:43,915 What you talking about? I'm winning. 889 01:07:44,093 --> 01:07:48,120 Jarra, you are under arrest for being that ugly... 890 01:07:48,297 --> 01:07:51,095 ...and for making that many copies. Surrender! 891 01:07:51,300 --> 01:07:53,165 I want him in pieces. 892 01:07:55,838 --> 01:07:58,170 Jarra Jr. is going, going... 893 01:07:58,841 --> 01:08:00,638 ...gone! 894 01:08:13,289 --> 01:08:15,883 -Rectum. -Damn near killed him! 895 01:08:16,058 --> 01:08:17,821 Never get tired of that one. 896 01:08:17,993 --> 01:08:20,621 -Where do we shut off the power? -Don't know. 897 01:08:26,669 --> 01:08:30,571 -I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute. -No, he won't. 898 01:08:36,679 --> 01:08:38,909 Down to one now, Jarra! 899 01:08:48,390 --> 01:08:50,756 Thirty seconds to launch. 900 01:08:58,868 --> 01:09:01,234 Fifteen seconds to launch. 901 01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:06,267 Ten seconds to launch. 902 01:09:06,575 --> 01:09:07,803 Eight. 903 01:09:07,977 --> 01:09:09,308 Seven. 904 01:09:09,478 --> 01:09:10,843 Six. 905 01:09:11,013 --> 01:09:12,344 Five. 906 01:09:12,515 --> 01:09:13,641 Four. 907 01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:14,942 Three. 908 01:09:15,117 --> 01:09:16,209 Two. 909 01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:19,654 Launch terminated. 910 01:09:20,122 --> 01:09:23,580 -What did you mean, leave you? -Well, he took your gun. 911 01:09:23,759 --> 01:09:26,592 Cracked your head. Slammed you across the room. 912 01:09:26,762 --> 01:09:30,823 -Half the time you were on your back. -Look, that's how I fight. 913 01:09:31,534 --> 01:09:34,002 You've lost, you insignificant speck. 914 01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:37,230 You've wasted 25 years of my time, and for what? 915 01:09:37,473 --> 01:09:41,500 The total annihilation of Zartha. All because you went mushy. 916 01:09:41,677 --> 01:09:45,909 I'll give you one last chance to surrender, you slimy invertebrate. 917 01:09:46,081 --> 01:09:49,642 -What are you gonna do to stop me? -Not me. Him. 918 01:09:51,687 --> 01:09:53,985 Your flight's been canceled. 919 01:10:00,696 --> 01:10:05,133 Shut down power. Shut down power. Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing.... 920 01:10:05,301 --> 01:10:06,427 Yeah. 921 01:10:08,504 --> 01:10:10,768 -Worms! -Sorry. 922 01:10:15,844 --> 01:10:18,506 -Give me the bracelet. -I'm going with you. 923 01:10:18,681 --> 01:10:21,377 Everybody in the car. Everybody. 924 01:10:34,563 --> 01:10:37,430 This bracelet is what everybody's been after? 925 01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:39,329 It's often something small. 926 01:10:39,501 --> 01:10:43,164 It's not the Light. It tells us the departure point. 927 01:10:43,339 --> 01:10:45,534 If we don't get there in 1 1 minutes... 928 01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:48,768 ...that bracelet will go nuclear and destroy Earth. 929 01:10:48,944 --> 01:10:50,411 What?! 930 01:10:51,046 --> 01:10:52,035 Hello. 931 01:10:53,048 --> 01:10:54,606 -Wait. -I know what I'm doing. 932 01:10:54,650 --> 01:10:59,655 . 933 01:11:10,065 --> 01:11:11,054 Damn. 934 01:11:12,768 --> 01:11:15,965 -Modified to hyper-speed! -Seat belts. 935 01:11:19,375 --> 01:11:20,399 What's that? 936 01:11:20,576 --> 01:11:23,977 At hyper-speed, you have to use the navigational stalk. 937 01:11:28,250 --> 01:11:33,313 Toggle switches for the ailerons. Joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder. 938 01:11:37,726 --> 01:11:39,557 I just want you to know-- 939 01:11:39,728 --> 01:11:41,855 Hold on to that for one second. 940 01:11:45,434 --> 01:11:47,095 Computer, worms. 941 01:11:47,269 --> 01:11:52,263 I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me to kick your skinny Zone Diet ass... 942 01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:56,309 -...turn around and exit the planet." -Frank, where are you? 943 01:11:56,478 --> 01:11:57,945 Main hall, egg display. 944 01:11:58,113 --> 01:12:00,980 We're taking fire. Kay pushed the red button. 945 01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:05,052 Computer at MiB can destroy bogey. I'll walk you through it. 946 01:12:07,289 --> 01:12:11,953 Jay? Frank. You were the best darn partner a Remoolian could ever have. 947 01:12:12,761 --> 01:12:14,023 Godspeed. 948 01:12:15,497 --> 01:12:16,521 Frank? Frank? 949 01:12:17,533 --> 01:12:20,195 Okay, here we go, automatic pilot. 950 01:12:22,471 --> 01:12:26,635 -It is not automatic piloting. -He doesn't operate at hyper-speed. 951 01:12:26,809 --> 01:12:30,210 -I could use a steering wheel! -This is what we got. 952 01:12:32,014 --> 01:12:34,949 -Didn't you ever have a Game Boy? -What's that? 953 01:12:35,117 --> 01:12:36,641 You know what? Move. 954 01:12:37,986 --> 01:12:40,318 That is not the navigational stalk! 955 01:12:52,301 --> 01:12:54,292 Okay, straight down. 956 01:12:59,007 --> 01:13:00,406 ldiots. 957 01:13:10,486 --> 01:13:13,284 Subway may not be the best place to lose her. 958 01:13:15,657 --> 01:13:17,124 -Where is he? -He? 959 01:13:17,526 --> 01:13:18,823 Jeff. Hang on! 960 01:13:21,130 --> 01:13:22,119 Oops. 961 01:13:23,332 --> 01:13:24,458 Teeth. 962 01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:01,392 Running out of time, Kay. Where is the Light? 963 01:14:02,604 --> 01:14:04,094 Right here. 964 01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:07,337 -What? -What, I'm the Light? 965 01:14:08,243 --> 01:14:10,837 -No. No way. -You have a planet to save. 966 01:14:11,013 --> 01:14:13,481 You're mistaken. I work at a pizzeria. 967 01:14:13,649 --> 01:14:17,608 Two days ago, I was running a post office. You are who you are. 968 01:14:17,786 --> 01:14:20,880 Laura, you are the Light. 969 01:14:21,056 --> 01:14:24,787 The leader of your people. Their spirit and their hope. 970 01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:27,656 The power is within you to save a planet. 971 01:14:27,830 --> 01:14:32,767 I protected you until it was your time. Your time is now. 972 01:14:36,605 --> 01:14:40,371 You will save a world. You know things before they happen. 973 01:14:40,542 --> 01:14:42,635 -I'm a Libra. -You're Zarthan. 974 01:14:42,811 --> 01:14:47,043 -When you get sad, it rains. -Lots of people get sad when it rains. 975 01:14:47,349 --> 01:14:50,045 It rains because you're sad, baby. 976 01:15:43,272 --> 01:15:44,864 It's not fair. 977 01:15:50,779 --> 01:15:52,406 Never is. 978 01:15:54,182 --> 01:15:55,809 We are who we are... 979 01:15:55,984 --> 01:15:58,475 ...even if we sometimes forget. 980 01:16:07,896 --> 01:16:10,456 Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you! 981 01:16:10,632 --> 01:16:12,361 Get back in the subway! Now! 982 01:16:18,907 --> 01:16:20,169 That's not good. 983 01:16:22,044 --> 01:16:23,568 Wait! No! 984 01:16:25,013 --> 01:16:26,344 Jay! 985 01:16:26,949 --> 01:16:31,386 I cannot emphasize strongly enough how much we need you on that transport. 986 01:16:32,788 --> 01:16:35,086 Laura! You have to go! 987 01:16:35,524 --> 01:16:36,889 Oh, jeez. 988 01:16:38,927 --> 01:16:41,725 Go. He's fine. He does this all the time. 989 01:16:42,831 --> 01:16:44,059 Nope! 990 01:16:46,435 --> 01:16:49,336 About to lay the smackdown on your candy ass. 991 01:16:49,738 --> 01:16:52,070 Laura! It's your destiny! 992 01:16:52,307 --> 01:16:54,241 I was talking, Kay! 993 01:16:55,744 --> 01:16:57,905 Hey! No biting. 994 01:16:59,648 --> 01:17:02,048 If you don't go, we all die. 995 01:17:05,253 --> 01:17:07,813 You're just as beautiful as your mother. 996 01:17:14,529 --> 01:17:16,793 Kay? A little help? 997 01:17:29,177 --> 01:17:30,303 Kay? 998 01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:34,672 Might I suggest a bigger gun? 999 01:18:01,209 --> 01:18:02,801 -Kid? -Yeah. 1000 01:18:03,278 --> 01:18:06,611 -Thanks for bringing me back. -No problem. 1001 01:18:07,215 --> 01:18:08,739 Why didn't you tell me? 1002 01:18:08,917 --> 01:18:11,010 Would you have let her go? 1003 01:18:32,474 --> 01:18:36,342 So, what's it like on the outside? Not doing this every day? 1004 01:18:36,511 --> 01:18:37,944 It's nice. 1005 01:18:38,113 --> 01:18:41,913 Sleep late on the weekends. Watch the Weather Channel. 1006 01:18:45,420 --> 01:18:47,547 I did miss this city. 1007 01:18:48,790 --> 01:18:52,317 So Laura is Princess Lauranna's daughter. 1008 01:18:54,229 --> 01:18:57,596 -Did y'all--? -MiB's a mess. Let's go, kid. 1009 01:18:58,400 --> 01:18:59,628 Let's go? 1010 01:18:59,801 --> 01:19:04,067 Thousands of people in New York and New Jersey saw our little event. 1011 01:19:04,239 --> 01:19:08,608 Plan needs to be thought out. Plan needs to be cool. What you--? 1012 01:19:13,281 --> 01:19:15,249 Kid, I'll get you trained yet. 1013 01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:16,941 I want one of those. 1014 01:19:17,119 --> 01:19:18,381 Damn! 1015 01:19:23,225 --> 01:19:24,419 -Hey. -Hey. 1016 01:19:24,593 --> 01:19:27,027 -How you doing? -I'm good. 1017 01:19:27,195 --> 01:19:31,723 We've all been there. The girl is gone and it hurts. Wanna talk? 1018 01:19:31,900 --> 01:19:33,458 -No. -I can help. 1019 01:19:33,635 --> 01:19:34,624 No. 1020 01:19:34,803 --> 01:19:35,861 Still sulking? 1021 01:19:36,037 --> 01:19:37,026 -No. -Yeah. 1022 01:19:37,205 --> 01:19:41,437 You miss her. It happens to all of us. I knew this hot young thing. 1023 01:19:41,610 --> 01:19:45,205 When our bodies were in the positions of the Kamasutra-- 1024 01:19:45,380 --> 01:19:46,677 Zed! 1025 01:19:47,115 --> 01:19:48,980 Come on, man! Damn! 1026 01:19:49,384 --> 01:19:51,079 I'll tell you about dames. 1027 01:19:51,253 --> 01:19:54,814 They say they want to be scratched, but they really want: 1028 01:19:55,023 --> 01:19:56,650 Hey! Frank. 1029 01:19:56,858 --> 01:19:59,554 What? Still sitting shiva? Want my advice? 1030 01:19:59,728 --> 01:20:01,628 No. No advice. 1031 01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,355 No talking. 1032 01:20:03,965 --> 01:20:05,262 Hell, no. 1033 01:20:05,433 --> 01:20:08,095 Fellas, I swear, I'm fine. 1034 01:20:09,070 --> 01:20:11,868 All hail Jay! All hail Jay! 1035 01:20:12,407 --> 01:20:16,002 -I brought them from Grand Central. -Why put them in my locker? 1036 01:20:16,178 --> 01:20:18,510 I thought it would put things in perspective. 1037 01:20:18,680 --> 01:20:21,376 It's kind of sad. We need to let them out. 1038 01:20:21,550 --> 01:20:24,747 They need to know the world is bigger than that. 1039 01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:26,410 Still a rookie. 1040 01:20:29,624 --> 01:20:30,784 Whoa. 1041 01:23:36,331 --> 01:23:41,336 Ripped by mUy_tAte from DVL subpack Men.In.Black.II.INTERNAL.DVDRip.XviD-DVL