When the value of the x coordinate is equal to or less than the value of...
- Yes, Isaac? - What about that problem?
Why?
I just put that up there as a joke. That's probably the hardest geometry equation in the world
How much extra credit is it worth?
Well, I've never seen anyone get it right including my mentor, Dr. Leaky at MIT.
I guess if anyone here can solve that problem
I'd see to it that none of you ever have to open another math book again for the rest of your lives.
Max ? You want to try it ?
I'm sorry. Did someone say my name?
You got it
You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up
But I send my kids here. Because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country
Rushmore
Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich, and you're going to stay rich
But here's my advice to the rest of you
Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs
And take them down
Just remember. They can buy anything. But they can't buy backbone.
Don't let them forget that. Thank you.
Are you free for graduation, Herman? Maybe you could give us an encore.
I don't give a shit.
I paid for the whole damn natatorium. The least these little pricks can do is hear me out.
Hello, I'm Max Fischer.
I just wanted to tell you I strongly agree with your views concerning Rushmore.
Your speech was excellent
This is my chapel partner, Dirk Calloway
I really think you're right about Rushmore.
- What's his name again? - Max Fisher
He's a sharp little guy
He's one of the worst students we've got
We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation
And what does that entail?
It entails that if you fail another class you are going to be asked to leave Rushmore.
- In other words, I'll be expelled. - That's correct
Can I see some documentation?
Too Many extra curricular activities, Max
I don't want to tell you how to do your job But the fact is no matter how hard I try, I still might flunkanother class
And if that means I have to stay on for a post-graduate year, then so be it.
We don't offer a post-graduate year.
- We don't offer it yet. - Just bring up the grades
Do you remember how I got into this school?
Yes, you wrote a play
That's right. Second grade. A little one act about Watergate
And my mother read it and felt I should go to Rushmore.
You read it and you gave me a scholarship, didn't you ?
- Do you regret it? - No, I don't regret it
But I still might have to expel you
Couldn't we just let me float by? For old times' sake?
I can't do it, Max.
- They want to kick me out - Oh, no. Not again. What are you going to do?
The only thing I can do. Try and pull some strings with the administration
- Did you hear they're teaching Japanese next year? - That's the rumor
- And they're canceling Latin. - What?
I tried to get Latin canceled for five years "It's a dead language", I'd always say
Well, I guess they finally heard you.
Excuse me!
Could I see a list of all the people who've checked out this book in the past year?
Look at that
I have seen wicked men and fools, a great many of both and I believe they both get paid in the end
But the fools first
Chapter fifteen: The Lad with the Silver Button
- Meet me on the corner in 10 minutes - Where are you goin'?
Excellent! That's was Excellent!
I told Mr. Calloway the other day how fortunate we are to have someone like you looking out for Dirk.
I'm just trying to impart some of the experiences I've accrued to help him.
This has my number on it
- Hello, Dirk? - Hi, mom!
- How'd the math test go? - What math test?
- No. Did you turn in your paper on the Berlin Airlift? - Yeah, I got an extension.
- So how did it go with Mrs. Calloway? - We shook hands
- Big Deal! - And I gave her my phone number
- Buchan said he'd have already banged her by now - What?
That's my best friend's mother he's talking about
I thought that's why you picked Dirk as your chapel partner.
What are you, a lawyer?
It's Max Fisher. - Oh, hi!
...
What's the secret, Max? - The secret?
Yeah. You seem to have it pretty figured out
I don't know.
I think you just gotta find something you love to do, then do it for the rest of your life
For me, it's going to Rushmore
Did you invite that kid to your party? - Max Fisher?
- There's gonna be girls there. I'd rather die - Pull your head out of your ass
Do vidjenja. -Bog, Max. -Vidimo se sutra.
May I see the back, please?
- That's it - Thank, you
I need a signature on this geometry test
I know...
37%.
I don't know what to do anymore
It could have been worse. You almost got the A
Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays
That's possible
I should probably be trying harder to score chicks. That's the only thing anybody really cares about. Butit's not my forte, unfortunately.
It'll happen, Max. It's just...
You're like one of those clipper ship captains You're married to the sea
Yes, that's true
But I've been out to sea for a long time
Hello? - Hi
- I like your hat - Oh, thank you
You're a teacher here, aren't you?
- And this is your first year at Rushmore - Uh-huh
How long have you been a smoker, if you don't mind me asking?
- How old are you? - 15
- Since I was your age - You're kidding
- You should quit - You're right
And I should mind my own business
- Where'd you go to school, by the way? - Harvard
Really? That's a coincidence. My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and The Sorbonne.But my safety is Harvard
- That's very ambitious. - Thank you
What do you want to study?
I haven't decided for sure. But probably a double major in Mathematics and Pre-Med
What was your major?
I didn't have a major. But my thesis was on Latin American Economic policy
Ah, that's interesting. Did you hear they're not going to teach Latin here anymore?
This was more like Central America
Oh, Central America and whatnot
But moving on, they're gonna cancel Latin. They've got to make room for Japanese
That's a shame because all the Romance Languages are based on Latin
- Yeah, they are - Nihilo sanctum estne?
What's that? That's Latin, isn't it?
What does that mean?
Is nothing sacred?
Sic transit gloria : Glory fades I'm Max Fischer
Sign here, please
In summation, I have only one question : Is Latin dead?
- Radje ti prekini radit' sranja. - Is that Latin?
Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like this
What does your dad do, Max
He's a neurosurgeon at St. Joseph's Hospital.
Personally, I could never see myself cutting open somebody's brain. But he seems to enjoy it
Oh, no! I got this one
- You were in Vietnam, if I'm not mistaken? - Yeah
- You were in the shit? - Yeah, I was in the shit
What's on Sunday? Oh, that's right. The Twin's birthday party
Do you wanna come?
I'd love to. Except I've already got previous occupations to attend to. Thanks for the invitation, though
- Come work for me - What do you mean?
I mean, I could use someone like you
I may not be rich, Mr. Blume And my father may only be a doctor But we manage
112th
Excuse me, Mr. Blume Nice talking to you
You're on the team?
I'm an alternate
Miss Cross?
I thought I would just let you know as per our conversation the other day...
- Latin? - Right. The Romance Languages. I gave a little speech
- I heard about this - You did?
I understand you made a very convincing argument.
I thought you'd be pleased to hear they're going to continue the Latin program.
- I'm very impressed - Thank you very much
- You need an assistant? - Do we get to have assistants around here?
I doubt it. I'm on scholarship, though. Academic scholarship. So I get to do odd jobs.
- How did you decide to teach at Rushmore? - My husband went here.
I didn't know you were married.
Well, he's dead now. So I'm not actually
- When did he die? - Last year
- My mother's dead - I'm sorry to hear that
She died when I was seven.
So we both have dead people in our families.
Now what's going on in here?
These were just born
I don't want any alloys. I want steel.
I don't give a rat's ass if he did
Steel, Harry
- You change your mind? You want the job? - No. But I've got an idea. And need some money
Rushmore deserves an aquarium. A first class aquarium where scientists can lecture and students canobserve marine life in its natural -
- I don't know. What do you think, Ernie - Aquarium?
- What kind of fish? - Barracudas. Stingrays. Hammerheads. Piranhas...
- Piranhas? Really? - Yes, I'm talking to a guy in South America.
- What did Guggenheim say? - Nothing. I thought I should go to you first
Because at this moment I feel our best strategy is to keep a low profile.
The more preparation I can do, the stronger our case will be when we take it to the administration.
- How much money do you want? - $35.000 for the initial plans
- I'll give you $2500 - O.K.
- Thank you - You're welcome
Max?
- Can I ask you something? - Sure
Has it ever crossed your mind that you're way too young for me?
It's crossed by mind that you might consider that a possibility, yes.
Not to mention you're a student...
I'm not trying to pressure you into anything, Miss Cross. I'm surprised you brought it up so bluntly.
I just want to make sure...
- We've become friends, haven't we? - Yes
And the truth is neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationships is going. We can'tpredict the future.
- We don't have a relationship, Max - But we're friends
- Yes. And that's all we're going to be - That's what I meant by relationship. You want me to graba dictionary?
- I just want to make sure we understand each other - I understand. You're not attracted to me
C'est la vie.
- Max. You're fifteen. Attraction doesn't enter into it - If you say so
All I'm getting is...
I've never met anyone like you
You can take that for whatever it's worth
I think I can safely say I've never met anyone like you, either
You haven't, have you?
You want to shake hands?
- I'm glad we had this conversation - So am I
I can't wear a wire! They're feeling me up every day!
Oh, Come on. You'll have complete protection
I've heard that one before I got to go put a dime in the meter
Joe, put a dime in the meter for officer Serpico
- If you agree to testify in open court... - No!
- No what? - No, I'm not gonna testify
I expect your gun and badge on my desk
Promise me one thing, O'Reilly. You're going to follow this all the way to the end of the line, where Igot to be.
So help me, God!
What happened to the cannoli line? You're supposed to say "Forget about it, Sanchez"
I made a mistake, all right? It doesn't make any difference, anyway
Hey, I'm letting it go. But don't tell me it doesn't matter. Every line matters.
- Get off my back! - Don't fuck with my play!
Max!
- I thought the acting tonight was excellent - Thanks. Well, it was better in rehersals
I'll catch up with you later, Dad I've got a dinner to go to
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, cast and crew only
- You need some money? - No, Dad
- Max, that was great! - I'm so glad you could come
I want you to meet a friend of mine Peter Flynn. Max Fischer
- Who's this guy? - Peter
I really liked your play It was really cool
What happened to your nose?
I got punched in the place
What's your excuse?
Hey, arthur!
- How you doing? - Nice job
- Am I going to get to meet your dad tonight, Max? - Oh, no. The old man's on call
Mr. Blume, I'd like you to meet Miss Cross and I didn't catch this young gentleman's name
- I like your nurse's uniform, guy - These are OR scrubs
OR they?
- Well, they're totally inappropriate for the occasion - Well, I didn't know we were going to dinner
- That's because you weren't invited - Take it easy, Max
You're the one who ordered him a Scotch and soda
What's wrong with that? I can write a hit play
Why can't I have a drink when I want myself?
- So tell me, Curly. How do you know Miss Cross? - We went to Harvard together
And I wrote a hit play. And directed it So I'm not sweating it, either
- What do you think you're doing? - I'm getting the check
No, you're not. Excuse me.
I just wanted to thank you again for accommodating us.
We only expected to be a party of three, but somebody invited himself along. I apologize.
- Quite all right - OK
- You're being rude, Max. - No, I'm not
I'm just trying to figure out why you brought this gentleman to my play And my dinner, which wasinvitation only
- Would you like me to pass you the butter? - Yes, please
- What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with you?
You hurt my feelings This night was important to me
- How did I hurt your feelings? - Oh, my god!
I wrote a hit play
And I'm in love with you
- Hi - Were you hiding over there?
Didn't wanna distrupt class
- What's that you're painting? - That's a jelly fish
- What can I do for you, Mr. Blume? - Max wants to talk to you
- What for? - To apologize, I think
We should talk over here
- He sent you here? - Yeah
- Are you his messenger? - No. I'm his friend
You were right I shouldn't have allow him to drink
I don't think I should see Max anymore - He's not going to like the sound of that
I know. But I think I let him get too attached
- What do you think? - Oh, I think you your did the best
Tell him I'm sorry
What's your first name?
- Rosemary. What's yours? - Herman
He wrote you a letter.
Dear Miss Cross, I would like to take this opportunity to formly apologize for the events of night of the23th
I am not accustomed to drinking alcohol.
Please do me the service of coming to the unveiling of a new venture I have undertaken
I hope you will attend, if possible.
I remain your friend, Max Fisher.
- Cut the music
- What time is it? - 1:15
- Did you see her? - She's not here
Go check the classroom
- Should we go ahead and take care of this tree? - Let's wait a few minutes
- What's going on here, Maxie? - Beck, good to see you
This is where they're building the new aquarium I'm in charge of the committee, if you can believe it
- This is the baseball diamond - I believe it's being relocated a few feet over
Is it true the aquarium will have piranhas?
- Where'd you hear that? - My source indicated that it was a possibility
- Yes, it's true but promises are very tricky - Max
- Bad news - What's the story?
- She has a substitute teacher today - Why?
- I guess she got sick - You know she's not sick. Give me the phone
Janet! Max Fischer. Is Blume there?
Oh, where is he? Goddammit, he's supposed to be here
I don't give a shit about barracudas But fuck it. I'm building it anyway
Max!
- Hello, Dr. Guggenheim! - What do you think you're doing?
- We're having a fund-raiser for... - Turn that damn thing off
Tell me this isn't happening.
I'd rather not have this conversation in front of the crew.
We have a new student with us today.
His name's Max Fischer and he's actually asked to say a few words to the class.
- Max? You want to take it away? - Sure. Thanks very much
I just wanted to introduce myself
I'm Max Fischer. I'm a former student of Rushmore Academy, which I recently got expelled from
This is my first time in a public school. And I know you probably think I was born with a silverspoonin my mouth
But I'm no elitist. I think you've got some great facilities and I'm really looking forward to making thebest of it over here at Grover Cleveland.
One footnote: I noticed you don't have a fencing team. I'm going to start one up. Let me know if you'dlike to join
- Max? - Yes?
Hi. I'm Margaret Yang. I'm in Mrs. Whitney's class. I just wanted to tell you I liked your speech
I don't think I've ever heard of anyone asking to give a speech in class before
How unfortunate!
The silver spoon remark might rub some people the wrong way But I think I know how you meant it
Do you know it? I gotta go to class right here
Janet, Max Fischer. Is he in?
- Hey, Max. How's it going? - Terrible
Tell me something. When you talk to Miss Cross the other day...
- Excuse me. Do you have a telephone pass? - One second
I got to tell you. I don't know what you see in her. I don't think she's right for you.
What's that supposed to mean?
I mean, she's not that beautiful. She's not that intriguing
She has something you can put your finger on. But...
Look, Mr. Blume. Your comments are valuable. But let's get to the point
- Will she see me again? Yes or no? - No
I'm talking on the telephone
Oh, Come on. That's rude.
Hey, Fisher!
You better beat it, sunnie
You know, Fischer. I've been watching you. Showboat, always talking, picking a kid like Dirk -
- because his mother's a great piece and then getting nowhere
Like everything you do. Big show. No results.
What do you call getting a hand job from Mrs. Calloway in her Jaguar?
A fucking lie?
You think I got kicked out for just the aquarium? Nah. It was the hand job.
You wanna know something else? It was worth it
I'm sorry I embarrassed you at dinner And please apologize to what's his name for me
- I will. Are you OK? - I'm fine. But I miss Rushmore.
I miss the seasons. And watching the leaves change
By the way, what time does the library close? I got an overdue book to turn in
That's your handwriting, isn't it?
My husband gave me this book when he came to visit to me when I was 13
And he went to Rushmore. So when he died I gave it to the library here
- You remind me of him, you know? - I do? How?
- You remember you were in the Rushmore Beekeepers? - Yeah. I was President of them
He founded that club
- Do you think we can be friends again, Miss Cross? In a strictly platonic way? - Of course, I do
Do you think you can make a go of it and settle down at Grover Cleveland?
Yeah. But I need a tutor
OK! What else do we got?
- Hi, Max - Hello
- What was your name again? - Margaret Yang
- What are you doing seventh period, Margaret Yang? - I have guitar lessons
- Classical guitar or? - Rock
That's good. We can get out of it then
Put Margaret down for 3:30 in the auditorium, Woody.
And bring a headshot, please
- Hello, Herman. - How are you, Rosemary?
Fine, thanks. I just got home and I'm having a little snack
Having some carrots?
- Nice house! - Yeah, it isn't mine. I'm just sort of housesitting
Were you in the neighborhood?
Didn't Max have something planned for us today? A trip to the museum or something?
I don't think so. I think he's rehearsing tonight
Oh. That's right. His new play
- He's really making a go of it over at Grover Cleveland - Yeah. He's doing very well, isn't he?
You want a carrot?
Yeah. I'll have one of those
I'll probably be seeing you soon
Or we could go for a walk, if you like
- Sure - Well, this is nice, isn't it?
Kind of brisk. I'll just get a sweater. I'll be back in a minute
- Dirk? - I know about you and the teacher
- Does Max know? - No. And I don't want him to know. I just want it to stop. Right now
You're a married man, Blume. And you're supposed to be his friend
- Look, Dirk. I am his friend - Oh, yeah. And with friends like you, who needs friends?
Unlock it!
Little Calloway!
You're standing up for the wrong guy. Fischer ain't your mate
- What are you talking about, Buchan? - He thinks your mum's good for a bonk That's why hepicked you as his chapel partner
- Who sold you that crock? - He told me himself
- He says she gave him a hand job in the backseat of her bloody Jaguar - Max never said that
Yeah. I suppose you're right. After all, the son of a brain doctor doesn't need to impress anybody, doeshe?
- The killing has got to stop, esse It's getting too loco. No more gats - Nigger, you're the crazy one
People will be trying to kill you. Are you talking about getting rid of your gun?
- It's time, homey - Kiss me, Little One
Then he kisses her and we're out. OK Is that for me?
Dear Max, I'm sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with MissCross.
My first suspicions came when I saw them frenching in front of her house then I knew for sure whenthey went skinny dipping
in Mr. Blume's swimming pool, giving each other hand jobs while you were taking a nap on the frontporch
Why am I telling you this now? Because you're such a good friend Take care, pal. Fondly, DirkCalloway
- How was she, Herman? - Jesus Christ!
Was she good? I bet she was. Although I wouldn't know 'cause I never screwed her
Going skinny-dipping while I took a nap. "Are you comfortable, Max?"
- "I'll just be out back nude getting hand jobs from the woman you love" - We never went skippingdipping
Sure, you didn't. And next you're going to tell me you didn't just walk out of her house at twoo'clock in the morning
I'm in love with her
Well, I was in love with her first
And all that crap about "I don't think she's that great" "I don't think she's right for you, Max" Thatwas all bullshit, wasn't it?
- Do you think she's in love with you? - I don't know
Well, I guarantee you she's not And she never will be
Max!
I saved Latin!
What'd you ever do?
On the planet I'm from the sun only comes out once a year
- That is why my skin... - Excuse me!
I just came by to thank you for wrecking my life
Max, what are you doing?
Hello? Mrs. Blume? This is Max Fisher I have some information regarding your husband
Thank you for meeting me
You're welcome
Would you like a sandwich?
All right
- I have a tuna, peanut butter and jelly I'm sorry it's not something more exotic - I'll take the tunafish
Get to the point
- And how long will you be staying with us, Mr. Blume? - Indefinitely. I'm being sued for a divorce
Shortie!
- So can you tell me where the pool's located? I might want to take a dip after I have the dinner -It's on the roof, sir
5'3", a hundred and twleve pounds, black hair, glasses...
Thanks for bailing me out, Dad Can you drop me off at Rushmore? I got to go settle a score
You think that's wise, Max?
- What are you doing? What are you doing? - Private property! You're trespassing!
Wait a minute! Stop!
Let's have a truce for a second Truce! Truce!
What's this all about?
Did you say my mother gave you a hand job? Did you say it?
Who told you that goddamn lie? Never mind. I know who said that
- And I'm going to stick a knife in his heart And I'm going to send him back to Ireland in abodybag - He's from Scotland
Well, tell that stupid mick he just made my list of things to do today I'm going to pop a cap in hisass
So you received the package?
Good. I just wanted to inform you about what's going on
- I never took you for an informer, Max - What's that suppose to mean?
She resigned this morning Before I even got your little snapshots So your latest attempt at sabotagehas backfired
- But she's one of the best teachers you've got How could you let her go? - Why are you trying toget her fired?
You stupid old fool! I'm trying to win her back!
Miss Cross?
Hi, Max
- You need any help? - No. I have it. Damn it!
- Here. Let me see - No. Please, I don't think you should come in here
Look. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings
I'm sorry I love your friend instead of you But... Please, Max
- You honestly believe you love Blume instead of me? - Yes
You'll forgive me if I won't take your word for that
If you don't stop, I'm going to lose it I mean it!
It's too late
Wait, please
- I got kicked out because of you! - You got kicked out because...
- Rushmore was my life. Now you are! - No, I'm not
What do you really think is going to happen between us? You think we're going to have sex?
That's kind of a cheap way to put it, don't you think? - Not if you've never fucked before, it isn't
Oh, my God
How would you describe it to your friends? Would you say that you fingered me?
Or maybe I could give you a hand job Would that put an end to all of this?
Please. Get out of my classroom
- Fischer, ya spotty fucker! - Hey, Magnus
Got any hand jobs lately?
Hey, Dirk! Look who's here. Your stepfather! Waitin' for your mum so he can get a piece
Your mind is as warped as your ear, Buchan
Don't get nasty, brother
We got him, Dirk. We got him
Max?
Hi, Mr. Blume
You wanted to meet?
- When? - Right now. You said you wanted to put an end to this
Oh. Yeah. I was going to try and have that tree over there fall on you
That big one? That would have flat me like pancake
- What stopped you? - What's the point? She loves you
- She's my Rushmore, Max - Yeah, I know. She was mine, too
- Good night, Stan. Merry Christmas! - See you next time
It's been nice having your company here at the shop, Max
Have you put anymore thought into giving school another shot?
Max, I like being a barber. I'm good at it But I always thought you'd try another line of work
- You talked about being a senator or a diplomat - Pipe dreams, dad
I'm a barber's son
See you at dinner
- Hello, Dirk -Hi, Max
- What can I do for you? - I thought I might get a haircut - We are closed
Well, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry I threw rocks at you the other day But I guess I should gonow
Merry Christmas
What in the hell is that?
- So did you heard the news? - I doubt it. I don't really follow the news anymore
- Dr. Guggenheim had a stroke - I'll send him a box of candy
Maybe you ought to go visit him
- Mrs. Guggenheim? - Hello, Max. Come in
It's so good to see you
These are glorious Let me put them in some water. Have a sit
- Should I say hello to Dr. Guggenheim? Or can he not hear me? -No, he can hear you
Hello, old timer. It's Max Fischer
- You probably can hear me because I don't know if your brain is damaged so... - What do you want?
Nelson?
- It's the first thing he said in 10 days
- Do you think he recognized me? - No, I don't think so
Hey, amigo
So who gave you the shiner?
Either Ronny or Donny. But I can't tell the difference anymore
Whichever one it was, it clocked you
- Kids don't like their parents to get divorced - I don't blame 'em - Neither do I
- How is she? - I really don't know
- Why not? - I don't see her in 6 weeks
What happened?
She left?
- She's in love with the dead guy, anyway - Edward Appleby
She's fucked up
- Adios, amigo - Hey, you ok?
I'm a little bit lonely these days
Max?
What are you doing here?
- I don't know. Jesus! They came at me out of no where. It was so sudden - What?
I'm sorry. Can I use your phone? I just got hit by a car
Oh, my God. Are you OK?
- What did you say? - Come inside
- So this is where it all happens? - Oh, what happens? - I wouldn't know
- So why'd you dump Blume? - That's none of your business
I know it's not. But I was just hit by a car I'm a little confused right now
- I mean. I thought you dumped me for Blume - I never dumped you because we were never going out
Because it would help me if you would talk to me for a minute. And tell me what happened
Well. A: He's a married man B: He hates himself
- And C: He smashed your bicycle, didn't he? - My previous bicycle. Yes
- Well, what sort of person does something like that? - I don't know
War does funny things to men
He thinks you dumped him because of Edward Appleby
What does that mean?
Well, I mean. You live in this room
With all his stuff. It's kind of...
- I was married to him - I know you
I will say Edward has more spark and character and imagination in one fingernail than Herman Blumehas in his entire body
One dead fingernail
Right. One dead fingernail
How'd he die by the way?
He drowned
- How'd your mother die? - She got cancer
Hold still for a minute, ok?
- You're very pretty - Thank you
Is this fake blood?
Yes, it is
You know, you and Herman deserve each other You both are little children
Let me show you to the door
- Goodbye, Miss Cross - Goodbye, Max
Hey, I have a, I'm sorry about what I said about your mom giving me a handjob
I know, Max. Sorry I didn't take your hand when Buchan kicked your ass
Hey, it's ok
What's that?
I don't know
Nice landing
What's that you got there? A flight plan or something?
- Do you know Dirk Calloway? - I don't think so - Dirk, this is Margaret Yang
I heard about your science fair project on Action 13 They said the Navy was going to buy it from you
- No, not anymore - Why not?
- Because it was fake - What do you mean?
- I faked all the results - Why? - Because it didn't work. I thought it would but it didn't
You were a real jerk to me. You know that?
Sorry, Margaret
Well. Anyway. Nice to see you
Can I take over for a while?
- Thanks for meeting me, Mr. Blume - What can I do for you?
What's this?
That's the Perfect Attendance awards and the Punctuality Award. I got those at Rushmore
I thought you could choose which one you like more and you could wear that one and I could wear theother
I'll take punctuality
Come here
- Thank you - Come on inside
Well, Well. Well... Look what the cat dragged in
- Sorry, I'm late - That's OK
I want you to meet somebody Mr. Blume, this is my father, Bert Fischer
Nice to meet you, Mr. Fischer Mr. Fischer was my father's name. Call me Bert
So Max tells me you need a haircut I want to you sit down
- I don't know, Bert - Don't worry, Mr. Blume. It's a painless procedure Maybe we throw in a shaveas well
Are you fine with that mustache? Do you wanna keep it for a while?
- How much are you worth, by the way? - I don't know
- Over ten million? - Yeah, I guess so
- Good, good - Why? - Cause we're going to need all of it
She's not coming, is she?
It doesn't look good
Ah, shit! What am I doing here?
How the hell did you ever get so rich? You're a quitter, man!
I paid eight million dollars
And that's all you're prepared to spend?
I'm sorry you couldn't make it to the little ground-breaking the other day
It's kind of a shame, since he's building it for you
I never asked anybody to build me an aquarium
- I'm not sure how that rumor got started - Me, neither
- You think Edward Appleby would've built you one? - Yeah. He probably would've if he had the money
That's what I thought. Blume's got a little more spark and vitality than you expected, doesn't he?
- But the aquarium was your idea - Well, I gave it to my friend
- Fifteen sticks? - Yes, please
Could you make the order out to Ready Demolition?
Thank you very much
Make sure these don't get wet
- I'll see you at 3:15 - Where you going? - Rushmore
I got one last piece of unfinished business to attend to
- Fisher, ya fuck! - Hello, Magnus
I'd have shot you in the other ear, but it got blown off a long time ago
- Besides now we're even - Not for long, kemosabe
- I got a proposition for you - Will you stick it up your mother's arse, ya little prick?
I've got to hand it to you, Magnus. You've got a way with words. You want to be in a play?
What's all this shite? - Nothiong
I think you're right for the part
- I always wanted to be in one of your frickin' plays - I know you did, mate
It's gonna be exciting. My son, Max wrote it
I gotta go to hospital
- My kid's gonna burn this place down - You'd better believe it
Klinci ce razvaliti dvoranu. -l hoce.
Turn it, turm it. That's it
Hi, Herman
Looks like Max pulled a fast one on us
I don't usually do this, but this play means a lot to me
And I wanted to make a dedication So I'll just say that this play is dedicated to the memory of mymother, Eloise Fischer
And to Edward Appleby. A friend of a friend
Also you'll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs underneath your seats. Please feel free touse them. Thank you very much
Let's rock, Esposito! Let's rock!
I'm OK! Go, go, go, go!
- Take it easy, Dirk - How much time we got, Wood?
- Bring me some more ketchup very quickly, please - This is gonna look stupid - No, it's not. It'sgonna look real
- Thank you - You're welcome. Hold this one, too. OK?
So what do you think of Max's latest opus?
It's good
It's got a happy ending
- Adios, Esposito - Adios, Sarge. Say a prayer for Surf Boy
Semper fi(Good luck), soldier Semper fi
Sic transit gloria Maybe we'll meet someday when the fighting stops
Tag 'em and bag 'em, cherries! We're moving out!
Hello, Esposito
- Will you marry me, Le-Chahn? - You bet I will
- Did Max send you an invitation? - Yeah. And he told me to wear a tie
- Congratulations, Max. - Thanks you very much, Mrs. Yang
I wrote a different version of the play two years ago
- But I couldn't get it done over at Rushmore - Oh, really? why?
- No. A kid got his finger blown off during rehearsals - A very good evening to you, Fishers
Miss Cross, I'd like you to meet my father, Bert Fischer. He's a barber
- This is my friend Rosemary Cross - Hello, Rosemary
And, of course, you know Mr. Blume I'd also like everyone to meet Mr. and Mrs. Yang And this isMargaret
I'm surprised they let him build a real campfire onstage It's clearly a safety hazard
- Last year he tried to raise piranhas - Yeah, I know he did that What'd you think, Mr. Littlejeans?
Best play ever, man
- I thought I was very realistic performancer - Yeah? Fischer stepped on half of my bleedin' line
- I didn't notice - How are Ronny and Donny doing in military school?
- They love it - Lucky Bastards
- I understand you're a neurosurgeon - No. I'm a barber. But a lot of people make that mistake
- You were incredible tonight, Margaret You were that poor girl - Thank you
- I loved it when you grabbed onto the bottom of the chopper as it was taking off - That was totallyimprovised
- Can I ask you a question? - Of course - Can you do an Australian accent?
I'm working on something that's set in the outback
I really feel like celebrating, you know
- Would you care to dance? - Oh, yes. I'd love to
- You're looking good, Bert - Hello, Mr. Blume - Hello, Margaret
May I cut in? I haven't had a change to cut a rug with your new girlfriend yet
Yes, I am. Find your own partner, Mr. Blume I'm spoken for
No, it's OK. He's my friend
- Well, you pulled it off - It went OK. At least nobody got hurt
Except for you
No. I didn't get hurt that bad
Come on, you two. Shake a leg
You you like to dance?
Yeah, but let's see if we DJ can play something with a little more...