1 00:00:16,112 --> 00:00:20,981 [ Man ] "Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. 2 00:00:21,051 --> 00:00:24,817 "But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort... 3 00:00:24,888 --> 00:00:29,791 "which could only be broken by love's first kiss. 4 00:00:29,859 --> 00:00:32,225 "She was locked away in a castle... 5 00:00:32,295 --> 00:00:36,493 "guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. 6 00:00:36,566 --> 00:00:40,969 "Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, 7 00:00:41,037 --> 00:00:43,801 "but none prevailed. 8 00:00:43,873 --> 00:00:46,068 "She waited in the dragon's keep... 9 00:00:46,142 --> 00:00:49,077 "in the highest room of the tallest tower... 10 00:00:49,145 --> 00:00:53,673 for her true love and true love's first kiss. " 11 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:56,742 [ Laughing ] Like that's ever gonna happen. 12 00:00:56,820 --> 00:01:00,586 - [ Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes ] - What a load of-- 13 00:01:00,657 --> 00:01:05,253 Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me 14 00:01:05,328 --> 00:01:09,287 I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed 15 00:01:09,366 --> 00:01:14,303 She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb 16 00:01:14,371 --> 00:01:18,102 In the shape of an "L" on her forehead 17 00:01:18,174 --> 00:01:21,109 The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' 18 00:01:21,177 --> 00:01:24,010 Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin' 19 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,344 Didn't make sense not to live for fun 20 00:01:26,416 --> 00:01:28,646 Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb 21 00:01:28,718 --> 00:01:30,652 So much to do So much to see 22 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,314 So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets 23 00:01:33,390 --> 00:01:35,449 You'll never know if you don't go 24 00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:37,993 You'll never shine if you don't glow 25 00:01:38,061 --> 00:01:39,995 Hey, now You're an all-star 26 00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:42,463 Get your game on, go play 27 00:01:42,532 --> 00:01:46,468 Hey, now, you’re a rock star Get the show on, get paid 28 00:01:46,536 --> 00:01:50,495 And all that glitters is gold 29 00:01:50,573 --> 00:01:56,011 Only shootin' stars break the mold 30 00:01:56,079 --> 00:01:58,070 It's a cool place and they say it gets colder 31 00:01:58,148 --> 00:02:00,343 You're bundled up now but wait till you get older 32 00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,544 But the meteor men beg to differ 33 00:02:02,619 --> 00:02:04,553 Judging by the hole in the satellite picture 34 00:02:04,621 --> 00:02:07,351 The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin 35 00:02:07,424 --> 00:02:09,392 The water's getting warm so you might as well swim 36 00:02:09,459 --> 00:02:11,393 My world's on fire How 'bout yours 37 00:02:11,461 --> 00:02:14,123 That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored 38 00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:16,858 - Hey, now, you’re an all-star - [ Shouting ] 39 00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:20,528 Get your game on, go play 40 00:02:20,603 --> 00:02:23,731 Hey, now, you’re a rock star Get the show on, get paid 41 00:02:23,807 --> 00:02:27,538 And all that glitters is gold 42 00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:32,547 Only shootin’ stars break the mold 43 00:02:32,615 --> 00:02:35,140 [ Belches ] 44 00:02:36,453 --> 00:02:38,387 - Go! - Go! 45 00:02:38,455 --> 00:02:41,583 - [ Record Scratching ] - Go. Go. Go. 46 00:02:41,658 --> 00:02:44,218 Hey, now You're an all-star 47 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:47,388 Get your game on, go play 48 00:02:47,464 --> 00:02:51,696 Hey, now, you’re a rock star Get the show on, get paid 49 00:02:51,801 --> 00:02:55,703 And all that glitters is gold 50 00:02:55,772 --> 00:03:01,039 Only shootin’ stars break the mold 51 00:03:05,782 --> 00:03:09,047 - Think it's in there? - All right. Let's get it! 52 00:03:09,119 --> 00:03:11,883 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? 53 00:03:11,955 --> 00:03:14,924 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. 54 00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:18,950 [ Laughs ] Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. 55 00:03:19,028 --> 00:03:23,089 Now, ogres-- They're much worse. 56 00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:26,067 They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. 57 00:03:26,169 --> 00:03:28,262 - No! - They'll shave your liver. 58 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:31,603 Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! 59 00:03:31,674 --> 00:03:34,234 - Actually, it's quite good on toast. - Back! Back, beast! 60 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:36,403 Back! I warn ya! 61 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:42,750 - [ Gasping ] - Right. 62 00:03:42,819 --> 00:03:45,583 [ Roaring ] 63 00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:50,422 - [ Shouting ] - [ Roaring ] 64 00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:53,826 [ Roaring Continues ] 65 00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:57,492 [ Shouting Continues ] 66 00:03:57,567 --> 00:04:02,129 [ Whispers ] This is the part where you run away. 67 00:04:02,205 --> 00:04:05,436 - [ Gasping ] - [ Laughs ] 68 00:04:05,508 --> 00:04:08,841 [ Laughing ] 69 00:04:08,912 --> 00:04:11,938 And stay out! 70 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:16,910 "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." 71 00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:20,455 [ Sighs ] 72 00:04:22,358 --> 00:04:24,758 [ Man's Voice ] All right. This one's full. 73 00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:27,521 - Take it away! - [ Gasps ] 74 00:04:27,597 --> 00:04:31,499 - Move it along. Come on! Get up! - Next! 75 00:04:31,568 --> 00:04:34,503 Give me that! Your flying days are over. 76 00:04:34,571 --> 00:04:37,199 That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! 77 00:04:37,273 --> 00:04:40,003 - Get up! Come on! - Twenty pieces. 78 00:04:40,076 --> 00:04:42,476 - [ Thudding ] - Sit down there! 79 00:04:42,545 --> 00:04:45,036 - Keep quiet! - [ Crying ] 80 00:04:45,114 --> 00:04:48,015 This cage is too small. 81 00:04:48,084 --> 00:04:50,177 Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. 82 00:04:50,253 --> 00:04:52,244 I can change. Please! Give me another chance! 83 00:04:52,322 --> 00:04:54,722 - Oh, shut up. - Oh! - Next! 84 00:04:54,791 --> 00:04:57,692 - What have you got? - This little wooden puppet. 85 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:02,697 I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. 86 00:05:02,765 --> 00:05:05,131 Five shillings for the possessed toy. 87 00:05:05,235 --> 00:05:07,328 - Take it away. - Father, please! Don't let them do this! 88 00:05:07,403 --> 00:05:09,303 - Help me! - Next. What have you got? 89 00:05:09,405 --> 00:05:12,033 - Well, I've got a talking donkey. - [ Grunts ] 90 00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:16,636 Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. 91 00:05:16,746 --> 00:05:20,682 Oh, go ahead, little fella. 92 00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,684 Well? 93 00:05:22,752 --> 00:05:25,448 Oh, oh, he's just-- He's just a little nervous. 94 00:05:25,522 --> 00:05:29,515 He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt-- 95 00:05:29,592 --> 00:05:32,186 - That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! - No, no, he talks! 96 00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:36,392 He does. I can talk. I love to talk. 97 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:39,401 I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. 98 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:42,029 - Get her out of my sight. - No, no! 99 00:05:42,105 --> 00:05:46,542 I swear! Oh! He can talk! 100 00:05:46,609 --> 00:05:48,770 [ Gasps ] 101 00:05:48,845 --> 00:05:51,245 Hey! I can fly! 102 00:05:51,314 --> 00:05:52,941 - He can fly! - He can fly! 103 00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:56,076 - He can talk! - Ha, ha! That's right, fool! 104 00:05:56,152 --> 00:05:58,416 Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. 105 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:01,116 You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, 106 00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:04,250 but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. 107 00:06:04,327 --> 00:06:06,261 Ha, ha! 108 00:06:06,329 --> 00:06:08,263 Uh-oh. 109 00:06:08,331 --> 00:06:10,561 [ Grunts ] 110 00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,567 Seize him! 111 00:06:14,537 --> 00:06:17,370 After him! He's getting away! 112 00:06:22,712 --> 00:06:25,146 [ Grunts, Gasps ] 113 00:06:25,214 --> 00:06:28,411 [ Man ] Get him! This way! Turn! 114 00:06:33,656 --> 00:06:35,954 You there. Ogre! 115 00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:38,323 Aye? 116 00:06:38,394 --> 00:06:42,490 By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest... 117 00:06:42,565 --> 00:06:48,162 and transport you to a designated... resettlement facility. 118 00:06:48,237 --> 00:06:52,264 Oh, really? You and what army? 119 00:06:55,712 --> 00:06:57,304 [ Gasps, Whimpering ] 120 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,280 [ Chuckles ] 121 00:07:03,052 --> 00:07:05,043 Can I say something to you? 122 00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:08,488 Listen, you was really, really somethin' back there. Incredible! 123 00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:14,326 Are you talkin' to-- me? Whoa! 124 00:07:14,397 --> 00:07:18,356 Yes, I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you was great back there? Those guards! 125 00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:21,164 They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! 126 00:07:21,237 --> 00:07:23,205 They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. 127 00:07:23,272 --> 00:07:25,206 That really made me feel good to see that. 128 00:07:25,274 --> 00:07:28,334 - Oh, that's great. Really. - Man, it's good to be free. 129 00:07:28,411 --> 00:07:33,974 Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? 130 00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:37,349 But, uh, I don't have any friends. 131 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:40,082 And I'm not goin' out there by myself. 132 00:07:40,156 --> 00:07:42,716 Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. 133 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:44,726 You're a mean, green, fightin' machine. 134 00:07:44,794 --> 00:07:46,989 Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. 135 00:07:48,464 --> 00:07:51,331 [ Roaring ] 136 00:07:51,401 --> 00:07:54,063 Oh, wow! That was really scary. 137 00:07:54,137 --> 00:07:57,868 If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 138 00:07:57,940 --> 00:08:01,068 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks! 139 00:08:01,144 --> 00:08:04,375 You almost burned the hair outta my nose, 140 00:08:04,447 --> 00:08:07,280 just like the time-- [ Mumbling ] 141 00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:11,081 Then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day. 142 00:08:11,154 --> 00:08:13,850 Why are you following me? 143 00:08:14,991 --> 00:08:17,551 I'll tell you why. 144 00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:20,562 'Cause I'm all alone 145 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:24,396 There's no one here beside me 146 00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:28,130 My problems have all gone 147 00:08:28,204 --> 00:08:31,571 There's no one to deride me 148 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,609 But you gotta have friends-- 149 00:08:33,676 --> 00:08:36,736 Stop singing! 150 00:08:36,813 --> 00:08:38,872 It's no wonder you don't have any friends. 151 00:08:38,948 --> 00:08:42,577 Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. 152 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:46,713 Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? 153 00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,724 Uh-- 154 00:08:51,627 --> 00:08:54,892 - Really tall? - No! I'm an ogre. 155 00:08:54,964 --> 00:08:58,161 You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." 156 00:08:58,234 --> 00:09:00,259 Doesn't that bother you? 157 00:09:00,336 --> 00:09:02,463 Nope. 158 00:09:02,538 --> 00:09:05,439 - Really? - Really, really. 159 00:09:05,508 --> 00:09:08,636 - Oh. - Man, I like you. What's your name? 160 00:09:08,711 --> 00:09:12,408 Uh, Shrek. 161 00:09:12,482 --> 00:09:15,747 Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? 162 00:09:15,818 --> 00:09:18,878 You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody- thinks-of-me thing. 163 00:09:18,921 --> 00:09:22,379 I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. 164 00:09:23,826 --> 00:09:27,819 Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that? 165 00:09:27,897 --> 00:09:31,128 That would be my home. 166 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,101 Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. 167 00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:37,970 You are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. 168 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:42,773 I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. 169 00:09:46,549 --> 00:09:49,279 I guess you don't entertain much, do you? 170 00:09:49,352 --> 00:09:51,149 I like my privacy. 171 00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:53,814 You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. 172 00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:56,154 Like, I hate it when you got somebody in your face. 173 00:09:56,225 --> 00:10:00,127 You're trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. 174 00:10:03,266 --> 00:10:05,996 - Can I stay with you? - Uh, what? 175 00:10:06,068 --> 00:10:08,662 Can I stay with you, please? 176 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,036 - Of course! - Really? 177 00:10:11,107 --> 00:10:13,507 - No. - Please! I don't wanna go back there! 178 00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:17,512 You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. 179 00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:20,174 But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! 180 00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:23,377 - Please! Please! - Okay! Okay! 181 00:10:23,452 --> 00:10:26,046 - But one night only. - Ah! Thank you! 182 00:10:26,122 --> 00:10:28,488 - What are you-- No! No! - This is gonna be fun! 183 00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:30,458 We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, 184 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,358 and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. 185 00:10:33,429 --> 00:10:36,694 - Oh! - Where do, uh, I sleep? 186 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,529 Outside! 187 00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:41,695 Oh, well, I guess that's cool. 188 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,864 I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, 189 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:46,340 so I guess outside is best, you know. 190 00:10:46,409 --> 00:10:49,401 [ Sniffles ] Here I go. 191 00:10:51,581 --> 00:10:55,677 Good night. [ Sighs ] 192 00:10:55,751 --> 00:10:59,744 I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. 193 00:10:59,822 --> 00:11:02,518 I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. 194 00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:04,856 By myself, outside. 195 00:11:04,961 --> 00:11:09,762 I'm all alone There's no one here beside me 196 00:11:09,832 --> 00:11:10,992 [ Bubbling ] 197 00:11:28,985 --> 00:11:31,385 [ Sighs ] 198 00:12:11,928 --> 00:12:13,953 [ Creaking ] 199 00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:16,658 [ Sighs ] I thought I told you to stay outside. 200 00:12:16,732 --> 00:12:20,429 - I am outside. - [ Clattering ] 201 00:12:20,503 --> 00:12:22,232 [ Clattering ] 202 00:12:25,908 --> 00:12:29,708 Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? 203 00:12:29,779 --> 00:12:32,304 It's not home, but it'll do just fine. 204 00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:34,315 What a lovely bed. 205 00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:36,715 - Got ya. - [ Sniffs ] I found some cheese. 206 00:12:36,786 --> 00:12:39,277 - Ow! [ Grunts ] - Blah! Awful stuff. 207 00:12:41,057 --> 00:12:43,651 - Is that you, Gorder? - How did you know? 208 00:12:43,726 --> 00:12:46,661 Enough! What are you doing in my house? 209 00:12:46,729 --> 00:12:48,663 [ Grunts ] Hey! 210 00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:51,359 - [ Snickers ] - Oh, no, no, no. 211 00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:55,029 - Dead broad off the table. - Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. 212 00:12:55,104 --> 00:12:58,301 Huh? [ Gasps ] 213 00:12:58,374 --> 00:13:01,002 [ Male Voice ] What? 214 00:13:01,077 --> 00:13:05,810 I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! 215 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:08,543 What do I have to do to get a little privacy? 216 00:13:08,617 --> 00:13:11,051 - Aah! - Oh, no. 217 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,850 Oh, no. 218 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:17,518 - No! No! - [ Cackling ] 219 00:13:17,593 --> 00:13:20,528 - [ Cackling Continues ] - What? 220 00:13:20,596 --> 00:13:22,496 - Quit it. - Don't push. 221 00:13:22,598 --> 00:13:26,864 - [ Squeaking ] - [ Lows ] 222 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,837 What are you doing in my swamp? 223 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,373 [ Echoing ] Swamp! Swamp! Swamp! 224 00:13:32,441 --> 00:13:35,672 - [ Gasping ] - Oh, dear! 225 00:13:35,745 --> 00:13:37,372 Whoa! 226 00:13:37,446 --> 00:13:40,847 All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! 227 00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:43,350 Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! 228 00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:45,387 - Quickly. Come on! - No, no! 229 00:13:45,454 --> 00:13:47,684 No, no. Not there. Not there. 230 00:13:47,757 --> 00:13:51,249 - Oh! - [ Sighs ] 231 00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:54,228 Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. 232 00:13:54,296 --> 00:13:56,389 Oh, gosh, no one invited us. 233 00:13:56,465 --> 00:13:59,025 - What? - We were forced to come here. 234 00:13:59,135 --> 00:14:01,262 - By who? - Lord Farquaad. 235 00:14:01,337 --> 00:14:06,104 He huffed und he puffed und he... signed an eviction notice. 236 00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:08,905 [ Sighs ] All right. 237 00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:13,244 Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? 238 00:14:13,315 --> 00:14:16,113 - [ Murmuring ] - Oh, I do. I know where he is. 239 00:14:16,185 --> 00:14:19,882 Does anyone else know where to find him? 240 00:14:21,357 --> 00:14:23,621 - Anyone at all? - Me! Me! 241 00:14:23,692 --> 00:14:25,626 - Anyone? - Oh! Oh, pick me! 242 00:14:25,694 --> 00:14:28,128 Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! 243 00:14:28,197 --> 00:14:31,325 [ Sighs ] Okay, fine. 244 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:35,962 Attention, all fairy tale things. 245 00:14:36,038 --> 00:14:40,737 Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. 246 00:14:40,843 --> 00:14:44,574 In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now... 247 00:14:44,647 --> 00:14:47,741 and get you all off my land and back where you came from! 248 00:14:49,151 --> 00:14:52,279 [ Cheering ] 249 00:14:52,354 --> 00:14:55,255 - [ Twittering ] - [ Cheering Continues ] 250 00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:58,293 Oh! You! 251 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,294 You're comin' with me. 252 00:15:00,362 --> 00:15:02,694 All right, that's what I like to hear, man. 253 00:15:02,765 --> 00:15:06,599 Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. 254 00:15:06,669 --> 00:15:08,660 I love it! 255 00:15:08,737 --> 00:15:11,934 - On the road again Sing it with me, Shrek. - Hey. Oh, oh! 256 00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:13,975 I can't wait to get on the road again 257 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:15,977 What did I say about singing? 258 00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,979 - Can I whistle? - No. 259 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,845 - Can I hum it? - All right, hum it. 260 00:15:20,916 --> 00:15:25,785 [ Humming ] 261 00:15:26,956 --> 00:15:28,116 [ Grunts ] 262 00:15:46,542 --> 00:15:50,535 [ Whimpering ] 263 00:15:50,613 --> 00:15:53,673 That's enough. He's ready to talk. 264 00:15:53,749 --> 00:15:57,378 [ Coughing ] 265 00:15:57,453 --> 00:16:01,389 [ Laughing ] 266 00:16:03,058 --> 00:16:04,958 [ Clears Throat ] 267 00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:09,063 Run, run, run, as fast as you can. 268 00:16:09,131 --> 00:16:12,692 You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! 269 00:16:12,768 --> 00:16:16,363 - You're a monster. - I'm not the monster here. You are. 270 00:16:16,438 --> 00:16:20,704 You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. 271 00:16:20,776 --> 00:16:22,710 Now, tell me! Where are the others? 272 00:16:22,778 --> 00:16:25,338 - Eat me! - [ Grunts ] 273 00:16:25,414 --> 00:16:28,349 I've tried to be fair to you creatures. 274 00:16:28,417 --> 00:16:31,909 Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll-- 275 00:16:31,987 --> 00:16:34,785 No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. 276 00:16:34,857 --> 00:16:36,882 All right then. Who's hiding them? 277 00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:42,295 Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? 278 00:16:42,364 --> 00:16:44,730 - The muffin man? - The muffin man. 279 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,236 Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? 280 00:16:48,304 --> 00:16:51,740 Well, she's married to the muffin man. 281 00:16:51,807 --> 00:16:53,934 - The muffin man? - The muffin man! 282 00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:57,035 - She's married to the muffin man. - [ Door Opens ] 283 00:16:57,112 --> 00:16:58,773 My lord! We found it. 284 00:16:58,847 --> 00:17:02,078 Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. 285 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:04,449 [ Man Grunting ] 286 00:17:13,462 --> 00:17:15,953 - [ Gasping ] - Oh! 287 00:17:16,031 --> 00:17:20,400 - Magic mirror-- - Don't tell him anything! 288 00:17:20,469 --> 00:17:22,801 No! 289 00:17:22,871 --> 00:17:26,637 - [ Gingerbread Man Whimpers ] - Evening. 290 00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:28,574 Mirror, mirror, on the wall. 291 00:17:28,677 --> 00:17:32,078 Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? 292 00:17:32,147 --> 00:17:34,741 Well, technically you're not a king. 293 00:17:34,817 --> 00:17:38,253 Uh, Thelonius. 294 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,949 - You were saying? - What I mean is, you're not a king yet. 295 00:17:42,024 --> 00:17:45,619 But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. 296 00:17:45,694 --> 00:17:48,686 - Go on. - [ Chuckles ] 297 00:17:48,764 --> 00:17:52,427 So, just sit back and relax, my lord, 298 00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:56,767 because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. 299 00:17:56,872 --> 00:18:00,467 And here they are! 300 00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:05,502 Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. 301 00:18:05,581 --> 00:18:07,845 She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. 302 00:18:07,916 --> 00:18:11,374 Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. 303 00:18:11,453 --> 00:18:13,853 Please welcome Cinderella. 304 00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:17,983 Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. 305 00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:20,756 Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. 306 00:18:20,863 --> 00:18:24,321 Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. 307 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,166 Come on. Give it up for Snow White! 308 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,865 And last, but certainly not least, 309 00:18:30,939 --> 00:18:33,032 bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead... 310 00:18:33,108 --> 00:18:35,668 from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! 311 00:18:35,744 --> 00:18:37,803 But don't let that cool you off. 312 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,043 She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. 313 00:18:41,116 --> 00:18:45,177 Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! 314 00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:47,722 So will it be bachelorette number one, 315 00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:51,317 bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? 316 00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,554 - Two! Two! - Three! Three! 317 00:18:53,629 --> 00:18:54,994 - Two! Two! - Three! 318 00:18:55,064 --> 00:18:57,191 Three? One? [ Shudders ] Three? 319 00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,291 Three! Pick number three, my lord! 320 00:18:59,401 --> 00:19:03,167 Okay, okay, uh, number three! 321 00:19:03,238 --> 00:19:08,005 Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. 322 00:19:08,077 --> 00:19:11,843 If you like pina coladas 323 00:19:11,947 --> 00:19:15,280 - And getting caught in the rain - Princess Fiona. 324 00:19:15,351 --> 00:19:17,546 - If you're not into yoga - She's perfect. 325 00:19:17,619 --> 00:19:20,383 All I have to do is just find someone who can go-- 326 00:19:20,456 --> 00:19:22,720 But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. 327 00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,725 - I'll do it. - Yes, but after sunset-- 328 00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:28,889 Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, 329 00:19:28,964 --> 00:19:33,128 and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! 330 00:19:33,202 --> 00:19:35,432 Captain, assemble your finest men. 331 00:19:35,504 --> 00:19:39,372 We're going to have a tournament. 332 00:19:41,043 --> 00:19:44,069 But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. 333 00:19:44,146 --> 00:19:46,205 I told ya I'd find it. 334 00:19:46,281 --> 00:19:50,377 So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. 335 00:19:50,486 --> 00:19:52,579 [ Donkey ] Uh-huh. That's the place. 336 00:19:52,654 --> 00:19:56,090 Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? 337 00:19:56,158 --> 00:19:58,251 [ Laughs ] 338 00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,261 [ Groans ] 339 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,297 Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. 340 00:20:02,364 --> 00:20:05,231 Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. 341 00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:10,396 - Hey, you! - [ Screams ] 342 00:20:10,472 --> 00:20:13,305 Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat ya. 343 00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:17,311 - I just-- I just-- - [ Whimpering ] 344 00:20:17,379 --> 00:20:19,472 [ Sighs ] 345 00:20:21,016 --> 00:20:23,712 [ Whimpering, Groans ] 346 00:20:31,493 --> 00:20:33,393 [ Turnstile Clatters ] 347 00:20:34,863 --> 00:20:36,922 [ Chuckles ] 348 00:20:36,999 --> 00:20:39,490 [ Sighs ] 349 00:20:39,568 --> 00:20:43,436 [ Instrumental Muzak ] 350 00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:49,401 It's quiet. 351 00:20:51,847 --> 00:20:54,145 Too quiet. 352 00:20:54,216 --> 00:20:56,650 [ Creaking ] 353 00:20:56,718 --> 00:21:00,848 - Where is everybody? - Hey, look at this! 354 00:21:03,559 --> 00:21:06,960 [ Clattering, Whirring, Clicking ] 355 00:21:07,029 --> 00:21:10,487 [ Clicking ] 356 00:21:10,566 --> 00:21:14,161 [ Clicking Quickens ] 357 00:21:14,236 --> 00:21:17,672 Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town 358 00:21:17,739 --> 00:21:21,140 Here we have some rules Let us lay them down 359 00:21:21,243 --> 00:21:25,145 Don't make waves, stay in line and we'll get along fine 360 00:21:25,214 --> 00:21:28,843 DuLoc is a perfect place 361 00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:33,479 Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face 362 00:21:33,555 --> 00:21:37,150 DuLoc is, DuLoc is 363 00:21:37,226 --> 00:21:40,684 DuLoc is a perfect 364 00:21:40,762 --> 00:21:44,198 - Place - [ Camera Shutter Clicks ] 365 00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:46,826 [ Whirring ] 366 00:21:47,936 --> 00:21:52,168 Wow! Let's do that again! 367 00:21:52,241 --> 00:21:54,903 No. No. No, no, no! No. 368 00:21:54,977 --> 00:21:57,241 [ Trumpet Fanfare ] 369 00:21:57,312 --> 00:21:59,678 - [ Crowd Cheering ] - [ Farquaad ] Brave knights. 370 00:21:59,781 --> 00:22:03,911 - You are the best and brightest in all the land. - [ Donkey Humming ] 371 00:22:03,986 --> 00:22:06,420 Today one of you shall prove himself-- 372 00:22:06,488 --> 00:22:08,854 All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. 373 00:22:08,924 --> 00:22:10,858 - Sorry about that. - [ Cheering ] 374 00:22:10,926 --> 00:22:16,421 That champion shall have the honor-- no, no-- the privilege... 375 00:22:16,498 --> 00:22:20,525 to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona... 376 00:22:20,636 --> 00:22:23,969 from the fiery keep of the dragon. 377 00:22:24,039 --> 00:22:28,271 If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, 378 00:22:28,343 --> 00:22:31,540 the first runner-up will take his place... 379 00:22:31,613 --> 00:22:34,411 and so on and so forth. 380 00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:39,921 Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. 381 00:22:39,988 --> 00:22:42,786 [ Cheering ] 382 00:22:45,027 --> 00:22:47,461 Let the tournament begin! 383 00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:53,100 - [ Gasps ] - Oh! 384 00:22:53,168 --> 00:22:56,433 - What is that? - [ Gasping ] 385 00:22:56,505 --> 00:23:01,101 - It's hideous! - Ah, that's not very nice. 386 00:23:01,176 --> 00:23:03,610 - It's just a donkey. - Huh? 387 00:23:03,679 --> 00:23:06,648 Indeed. Knights, new plan! 388 00:23:06,715 --> 00:23:11,448 The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him! 389 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,456 - Get him! - Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. 390 00:23:15,524 --> 00:23:17,822 [ Woman ] Go ahead! Get him! 391 00:23:17,893 --> 00:23:21,590 Can't we just settle this over a pint? 392 00:23:21,663 --> 00:23:22,925 [ Man ] Kill the beast! 393 00:23:22,998 --> 00:23:27,458 No? All right then. 394 00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:29,595 Come on! 395 00:23:37,412 --> 00:23:41,849 I don't give a damn about my reputation 396 00:23:41,917 --> 00:23:45,944 - You're living in the past It's a new generation - Damn! 397 00:23:46,021 --> 00:23:48,819 - [ Whinnying ] - A girl can do what she wants to do 398 00:23:48,890 --> 00:23:51,154 And that's what I'm gonna do 399 00:23:51,226 --> 00:23:55,162 And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation 400 00:23:55,230 --> 00:23:58,996 Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me 401 00:23:59,067 --> 00:24:02,468 - Me, me, me - Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! 402 00:24:02,537 --> 00:24:05,301 And I don't give a damn about my reputation 403 00:24:05,374 --> 00:24:07,638 Never said I wanted to improve my station 404 00:24:07,709 --> 00:24:10,200 Ah! [ Laughs ] 405 00:24:10,278 --> 00:24:12,337 - And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun - Yeah! 406 00:24:12,414 --> 00:24:14,507 And I don't have to please no one 407 00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:16,517 The chair! Give him the chair! 408 00:24:16,585 --> 00:24:19,213 And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation 409 00:24:19,287 --> 00:24:22,484 Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me 410 00:24:22,557 --> 00:24:23,990 Me, me, me 411 00:24:24,059 --> 00:24:26,721 Oh, no, no, no, no 412 00:24:26,795 --> 00:24:30,492 Not me, not me 413 00:24:30,565 --> 00:24:32,999 - Not me - [ Bell Dings ] 414 00:24:33,101 --> 00:24:36,070 - [ Cheering ] - [ Laughs ] 415 00:24:36,138 --> 00:24:41,337 Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! 416 00:24:41,443 --> 00:24:44,241 Thank you! Thank you very much! 417 00:24:44,312 --> 00:24:46,712 I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! 418 00:24:46,782 --> 00:24:51,242 - [ Shrek Laughs ] - [ Crowd Gasping, Murmuring ] 419 00:24:53,155 --> 00:24:55,123 Shall I give the order, sir? 420 00:24:55,190 --> 00:24:58,785 No, I have a better idea. 421 00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:04,059 People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! 422 00:25:04,132 --> 00:25:08,034 - What? - Congratulations, ogre. 423 00:25:08,103 --> 00:25:12,437 You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. 424 00:25:12,507 --> 00:25:16,910 Quest? I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. 425 00:25:16,978 --> 00:25:20,209 - Your swamp? - Yeah, my swamp! 426 00:25:20,282 --> 00:25:22,750 Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures! 427 00:25:22,818 --> 00:25:25,412 - [ Crowd Murmuring ] - Indeed. 428 00:25:25,487 --> 00:25:27,580 All right, ogre, I'll make you a deal. 429 00:25:27,656 --> 00:25:31,456 Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. 430 00:25:31,526 --> 00:25:34,256 Exactly the way it was? 431 00:25:34,329 --> 00:25:37,093 Down to the last slime-covered toadstool. 432 00:25:37,165 --> 00:25:40,396 - And the squatters? - As good as gone. 433 00:25:43,472 --> 00:25:47,431 What kind of quest? 434 00:25:47,743 --> 00:25:50,109 [ Donkey ] Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon... 435 00:25:50,178 --> 00:25:52,806 and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp... 436 00:25:52,881 --> 00:25:56,009 which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. 437 00:25:56,084 --> 00:26:00,453 - Is that about right? - Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. 438 00:26:00,522 --> 00:26:04,083 I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? 439 00:26:04,159 --> 00:26:06,093 Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, 440 00:26:06,161 --> 00:26:08,994 grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. 441 00:26:09,064 --> 00:26:10,998 Oh, I know what. 442 00:26:11,066 --> 00:26:13,296 Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village... 443 00:26:13,368 --> 00:26:15,495 and put their heads on a pike, 444 00:26:15,570 --> 00:26:19,199 gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. 445 00:26:19,274 --> 00:26:21,401 Does that sound good to you? 446 00:26:21,510 --> 00:26:24,138 Uh, no, not really, no. 447 00:26:24,212 --> 00:26:28,012 For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. 448 00:26:28,083 --> 00:26:30,847 - Example? - Example? 449 00:26:30,919 --> 00:26:37,051 - Okay, um, ogres are like onions. - [ Sniffs ] They stink? 450 00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:39,457 - Yes-- No! - They make you cry? - No! 451 00:26:39,528 --> 00:26:42,964 You leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs. 452 00:26:43,031 --> 00:26:45,022 No! Layers! 453 00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:47,466 Onions have layers. 454 00:26:47,536 --> 00:26:50,835 Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. 455 00:26:50,906 --> 00:26:53,306 You get it? We both have layers. [ Sighs ] 456 00:26:55,243 --> 00:26:58,838 Oh, you both have layers. Oh. 457 00:26:58,914 --> 00:27:02,315 [ Sniffs ] You know, not everybody likes onions. 458 00:27:02,384 --> 00:27:05,012 Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. 459 00:27:05,086 --> 00:27:09,022 I don't care... what everyone likes. 460 00:27:09,090 --> 00:27:12,787 Ogres are not like cakes. 461 00:27:14,629 --> 00:27:18,030 You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. 462 00:27:18,099 --> 00:27:20,033 Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," 463 00:27:20,101 --> 00:27:21,728 they say, "No, I don't like no parfait"? 464 00:27:21,770 --> 00:27:23,738 - Parfaits are delicious. - No! 465 00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:26,741 You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! 466 00:27:26,775 --> 00:27:29,744 Ogres are like onions! End of story. 467 00:27:29,778 --> 00:27:31,905 Bye-bye. See ya later. 468 00:27:36,585 --> 00:27:41,022 Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. 469 00:27:41,089 --> 00:27:43,284 You know, I think I preferred your humming. 470 00:27:43,358 --> 00:27:46,054 Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. 471 00:27:46,127 --> 00:27:49,028 Just the word parfait make me start slobbering. 472 00:27:53,468 --> 00:27:59,373 I'm on my way from misery to happiness today 473 00:27:59,441 --> 00:28:01,932 Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh 474 00:28:02,010 --> 00:28:07,471 I'm on my way from misery to happiness today 475 00:28:07,549 --> 00:28:10,040 Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh 476 00:28:10,118 --> 00:28:14,020 And everything that you receive up yonder 477 00:28:14,122 --> 00:28:18,058 Is what you give to me the day I wander 478 00:28:18,126 --> 00:28:21,061 I'm on my way 479 00:28:22,163 --> 00:28:25,064 I'm on my way 480 00:28:26,167 --> 00:28:28,260 I'm on my way 481 00:28:28,336 --> 00:28:30,804 Ooh! Shrek! Did you do that? 482 00:28:30,872 --> 00:28:34,672 You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open. 483 00:28:34,743 --> 00:28:38,474 Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. 484 00:28:38,546 --> 00:28:41,310 [ Sniffs ] It's brimstone. 485 00:28:41,383 --> 00:28:44,580 - We must be getting close. - Yeah, right, brimstone. 486 00:28:44,653 --> 00:28:48,749 Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. 487 00:28:48,823 --> 00:28:50,757 It didn't come off no stone neither. 488 00:28:53,695 --> 00:28:55,890 [ Rumbling ] 489 00:29:08,777 --> 00:29:12,144 Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. 490 00:29:12,213 --> 00:29:15,182 [ Laughing ] 491 00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:19,983 Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said ogres have layers? 492 00:29:20,055 --> 00:29:21,989 Oh, aye. 493 00:29:22,057 --> 00:29:25,652 Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. 494 00:29:25,727 --> 00:29:29,094 Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. 495 00:29:29,197 --> 00:29:33,258 - Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. - You know what I mean. 496 00:29:33,368 --> 00:29:36,030 You can't tell me you're afraid of heights. 497 00:29:36,104 --> 00:29:40,700 I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! 498 00:29:40,775 --> 00:29:44,836 Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? 499 00:29:44,913 --> 00:29:47,575 For emotional support, 500 00:29:47,649 --> 00:29:52,211 we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. 501 00:29:52,287 --> 00:29:54,221 - Really? - Really, really. 502 00:29:54,289 --> 00:29:57,520 - Okay, that makes me feel so much better. - Just keep moving. 503 00:29:57,592 --> 00:30:02,188 - And don't look down. - Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. 504 00:30:02,263 --> 00:30:05,630 Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. 505 00:30:05,734 --> 00:30:09,534 [ Gasps ] Shrek! I'm lookin' down! 506 00:30:09,604 --> 00:30:12,539 Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! 507 00:30:12,607 --> 00:30:16,168 - But you're already halfway. - But I know that half is safe! 508 00:30:16,244 --> 00:30:19,042 Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. 509 00:30:19,114 --> 00:30:21,548 - Shrek, no! Wait! - Just, Donkey-- 510 00:30:21,616 --> 00:30:24,710 - Let's have a dance then, shall we? - Don't do that! 511 00:30:24,786 --> 00:30:28,688 Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? 512 00:30:28,757 --> 00:30:31,851 - Oh, this? - Yes, that! 513 00:30:31,926 --> 00:30:35,362 Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. 514 00:30:35,430 --> 00:30:37,728 [ Screams ] No, Shrek! 515 00:30:37,799 --> 00:30:40,927 - No! Stop it! - You said do it! I'm doin' it. 516 00:30:41,002 --> 00:30:45,268 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. 517 00:30:45,340 --> 00:30:47,865 Oh! 518 00:30:47,942 --> 00:30:51,935 That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. 519 00:30:55,316 --> 00:30:57,580 Cool. 520 00:30:57,652 --> 00:31:00,416 [ Donkey ] So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? 521 00:31:00,488 --> 00:31:04,254 Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. 522 00:31:04,325 --> 00:31:07,226 [ Chuckles ] I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek. 523 00:31:08,730 --> 00:31:10,561 [ Water Dripping ] 524 00:31:12,233 --> 00:31:14,167 [ Wind Howling ] 525 00:31:22,710 --> 00:31:24,644 [ Donkey Whispering ] You afraid? 526 00:31:24,712 --> 00:31:28,011 No, but-- Shh. 527 00:31:28,083 --> 00:31:31,644 Oh, good. Me neither. [ Gasps ] 528 00:31:31,719 --> 00:31:35,120 'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. 529 00:31:35,190 --> 00:31:38,421 Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. 530 00:31:38,526 --> 00:31:40,585 Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. 531 00:31:40,662 --> 00:31:43,290 With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, 532 00:31:43,364 --> 00:31:46,822 it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. 533 00:31:46,901 --> 00:31:50,894 I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that. [ Gasps ] 534 00:31:51,005 --> 00:31:54,338 Donkey, two things, okay? 535 00:31:54,409 --> 00:31:56,969 Shut... up. 536 00:31:57,045 --> 00:31:59,809 Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. 537 00:31:59,881 --> 00:32:02,509 Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess. 538 00:32:02,584 --> 00:32:07,487 The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. 539 00:32:07,555 --> 00:32:11,150 - What makes you think she'll be there? - I read it in a book once. 540 00:32:11,226 --> 00:32:15,162 Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. 541 00:32:15,230 --> 00:32:18,290 I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. 542 00:32:18,366 --> 00:32:20,334 Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. 543 00:32:20,401 --> 00:32:22,801 [ Creaking ] 544 00:32:24,806 --> 00:32:26,797 I'm gonna take drastic steps. 545 00:32:26,875 --> 00:32:29,673 Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. 546 00:32:29,744 --> 00:32:34,306 I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. 547 00:32:37,285 --> 00:32:40,846 Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the-- 548 00:32:40,922 --> 00:32:45,154 Dragon! [ Screams ] 549 00:32:46,261 --> 00:32:48,161 [ Gasps ] 550 00:32:53,568 --> 00:32:55,229 [ Roars ] 551 00:32:58,773 --> 00:33:01,003 Donkey, look out! [ Screams ] 552 00:33:02,243 --> 00:33:06,179 [ Screams ] 553 00:33:08,650 --> 00:33:10,345 [ Whimpering ] 554 00:33:12,654 --> 00:33:14,679 - Got ya! - [ Roars ] 555 00:33:14,756 --> 00:33:17,850 [ Gasps ] 556 00:33:17,926 --> 00:33:23,193 [ Shouts ] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 557 00:33:23,264 --> 00:33:26,199 [ Screaming ] 558 00:33:34,442 --> 00:33:37,070 [ Gasps ] 559 00:33:37,145 --> 00:33:41,775 Oh! Aah! Aah! 560 00:33:41,849 --> 00:33:45,341 [ Gasping ] 561 00:33:46,554 --> 00:33:50,388 [ Growls ] 562 00:33:50,458 --> 00:33:53,894 No. Oh, no. No! [ Screams ] 563 00:33:53,962 --> 00:33:57,591 - Oh, what large teeth you have. - [ Growls ] 564 00:33:57,665 --> 00:34:01,499 I mean, white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, 565 00:34:01,569 --> 00:34:05,733 but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. 566 00:34:05,807 --> 00:34:08,298 Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? 567 00:34:08,376 --> 00:34:13,143 And you know what else? You're-- You're a girl dragon! 568 00:34:13,214 --> 00:34:17,742 Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. 569 00:34:17,819 --> 00:34:21,619 You're just reeking of feminine beauty. 570 00:34:21,689 --> 00:34:24,021 What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? 571 00:34:24,092 --> 00:34:26,959 Ooh. Oh. Oh. 572 00:34:27,028 --> 00:34:29,428 Man, I'd really love to stay, but, you know, I'm, uh-- [ Coughs ] 573 00:34:29,530 --> 00:34:33,489 I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. 574 00:34:33,568 --> 00:34:35,502 Shrek! [ Gasps ] 575 00:34:35,570 --> 00:34:39,301 [ Whimpering ] No! Shrek! Shrek! 576 00:34:39,374 --> 00:34:41,239 Shrek! 577 00:34:41,442 --> 00:34:45,173 [ Groans, Sighs ] 578 00:34:45,246 --> 00:34:48,443 [ Chorus Vocalizing ] 579 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:57,118 [ Vocalizing Continues ] 580 00:35:09,937 --> 00:35:12,497 [ Vocalizing Continues ] 581 00:35:12,573 --> 00:35:14,006 Oh! Oh! 582 00:35:14,075 --> 00:35:16,009 - Wake up! - What? 583 00:35:16,077 --> 00:35:17,704 Are you Princess Fiona? 584 00:35:17,779 --> 00:35:23,149 I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. 585 00:35:23,217 --> 00:35:25,208 Oh, that's nice. Now let's go! 586 00:35:25,286 --> 00:35:27,311 But wait, Sir Knight. 587 00:35:27,388 --> 00:35:29,686 This be-ith our first meeting. 588 00:35:29,757 --> 00:35:33,488 Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? 589 00:35:33,561 --> 00:35:37,895 - Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. - Hey, wait. What are you doing? 590 00:35:37,965 --> 00:35:40,058 You should sweep me off my feet... 591 00:35:40,134 --> 00:35:43,535 out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. 592 00:35:43,604 --> 00:35:46,402 You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? 593 00:35:46,474 --> 00:35:50,740 Mm-hmm. [ Screams, Grunts ] 594 00:35:50,812 --> 00:35:53,713 But we have to savor this moment! 595 00:35:53,781 --> 00:35:56,545 You could recite an epic poem for me. 596 00:35:56,617 --> 00:35:59,085 A ballad? A sonnet! 597 00:35:59,153 --> 00:36:02,418 - A limerick? Or something! - I don't think so. 598 00:36:02,490 --> 00:36:06,927 Can I at least know the name of my champion? 599 00:36:06,994 --> 00:36:08,928 Um, Shrek. 600 00:36:08,996 --> 00:36:12,727 Sir Shrek. [ Clears Throat ] 601 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:17,533 I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. 602 00:36:18,673 --> 00:36:20,664 Thanks! 603 00:36:22,443 --> 00:36:24,604 [ Roaring ] 604 00:36:24,679 --> 00:36:26,544 You didn't slay the dragon? 605 00:36:26,614 --> 00:36:29,082 - It's on my to-do list. Now come on! - [ Screams ] 606 00:36:29,150 --> 00:36:31,744 But this isn't right! 607 00:36:31,819 --> 00:36:34,083 You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. 608 00:36:34,155 --> 00:36:36,248 That's what all the other knights did. 609 00:36:36,324 --> 00:36:38,622 Yeah, right before they burst into flame. 610 00:36:38,693 --> 00:36:42,254 That's not the point. Oh! 611 00:36:42,330 --> 00:36:44,798 Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there. 612 00:36:44,866 --> 00:36:46,925 Well, I have to save my ass. 613 00:36:47,001 --> 00:36:50,198 What kind of knight are you? 614 00:36:50,304 --> 00:36:52,738 One of a kind. 615 00:36:52,807 --> 00:36:55,173 [ Donkey ] Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. 616 00:36:55,243 --> 00:36:59,475 I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. 617 00:36:59,547 --> 00:37:02,141 Just call me old-fashioned. [ Laughs ] 618 00:37:02,216 --> 00:37:05,743 I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. 619 00:37:05,820 --> 00:37:09,278 I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this-- 620 00:37:09,357 --> 00:37:11,655 Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. 621 00:37:11,726 --> 00:37:15,218 Magnitude-- Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. 622 00:37:15,329 --> 00:37:17,797 Hey, what are you doing? 623 00:37:17,865 --> 00:37:21,130 Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. 624 00:37:21,202 --> 00:37:25,332 We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. 625 00:37:25,406 --> 00:37:29,638 I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards-- 626 00:37:29,710 --> 00:37:32,144 I'd really love to stay, but-- 627 00:37:32,213 --> 00:37:34,807 Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. 628 00:37:34,882 --> 00:37:38,318 You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission-- What are you gonna do with that? 629 00:37:38,386 --> 00:37:42,186 Hey, now. No way. No! No! 630 00:37:42,256 --> 00:37:45,020 No, no! No. No, no, no! No! Oh! 631 00:37:49,897 --> 00:37:51,865 [ Growls ] 632 00:37:54,735 --> 00:37:56,635 [ Roars ] 633 00:38:10,384 --> 00:38:11,817 - [ Roaring ] - [ Gasps ] 634 00:38:11,886 --> 00:38:13,854 - Hi, Princess! - It talks! 635 00:38:13,921 --> 00:38:17,687 Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. 636 00:38:17,758 --> 00:38:18,986 [ Screams ] 637 00:38:20,561 --> 00:38:22,859 [ Screaming ] 638 00:38:22,930 --> 00:38:24,557 Oh! 639 00:38:24,632 --> 00:38:26,031 - [ Thuds ] - [ Groans ] 640 00:38:26,100 --> 00:38:29,536 [ Shrek Groans ] 641 00:38:29,604 --> 00:38:32,732 [ Roars ] 642 00:38:34,742 --> 00:38:36,642 [ Roars ] 643 00:38:38,112 --> 00:38:41,013 [ Roaring ] 644 00:38:42,617 --> 00:38:45,142 [ Roars ] 645 00:38:53,261 --> 00:38:55,161 Okay, you two, head for the exit! 646 00:38:56,297 --> 00:38:58,822 I'll take care of the dragon. 647 00:39:05,439 --> 00:39:10,843 [ Echoing ] Run! 648 00:39:20,488 --> 00:39:24,151 [ Gasping ] 649 00:39:24,225 --> 00:39:26,420 [ Screaming ] 650 00:39:26,494 --> 00:39:29,691 [ Roaring ] 651 00:39:31,666 --> 00:39:34,567 - [ Screams ] - [ Roars ] 652 00:39:38,506 --> 00:39:42,237 [ Panting, Sighs ] 653 00:39:42,343 --> 00:39:44,277 [ Whimpers ] 654 00:39:44,345 --> 00:39:46,905 [ Roars ] 655 00:39:48,649 --> 00:39:51,982 [ Roars, Whimpers ] 656 00:39:52,420 --> 00:39:57,119 - [ Dragon Growling In The Distance ] - You did it! 657 00:39:57,191 --> 00:40:00,092 You rescued me! You're amazing. You're-- 658 00:40:00,161 --> 00:40:03,927 You're wonderful. You're... 659 00:40:03,998 --> 00:40:06,296 a little unorthodox I'll admit. 660 00:40:06,367 --> 00:40:11,304 But thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. 661 00:40:11,372 --> 00:40:15,172 - I am eternally in your debt. - [ Clears Throat ] 662 00:40:15,242 --> 00:40:19,611 And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? 663 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:24,344 I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. 664 00:40:24,418 --> 00:40:27,615 [ Fiona Laughs ] The battle is won. 665 00:40:27,688 --> 00:40:30,179 You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. 666 00:40:30,257 --> 00:40:32,851 - Uh, no. - Why not? 667 00:40:32,927 --> 00:40:35,157 I have helmet hair. 668 00:40:35,229 --> 00:40:38,460 Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. 669 00:40:38,532 --> 00:40:41,126 No, no, you wouldn't-- 'st. 670 00:40:41,202 --> 00:40:43,670 But how will you kiss me? 671 00:40:43,738 --> 00:40:47,504 What? That wasn't in the job description. 672 00:40:47,575 --> 00:40:49,975 Maybe it's a perk. 673 00:40:50,044 --> 00:40:54,481 No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. 674 00:40:54,548 --> 00:40:58,314 A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon... 675 00:40:58,419 --> 00:41:01,354 is rescued by a brave knight, 676 00:41:01,422 --> 00:41:04,721 and then they share true love's first kiss. 677 00:41:04,792 --> 00:41:06,885 Hmm? With Shrek? You think-- Wait. 678 00:41:06,961 --> 00:41:10,158 Wait. You think that Shrek is your true love? 679 00:41:10,231 --> 00:41:12,222 Well, yes. 680 00:41:13,934 --> 00:41:16,198 - [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ] 681 00:41:16,270 --> 00:41:18,738 You think Shrek is your true love! 682 00:41:18,806 --> 00:41:20,740 What is so funny? 683 00:41:20,808 --> 00:41:23,902 Let's just say I'm not your type, okay? 684 00:41:23,978 --> 00:41:27,505 Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. 685 00:41:27,581 --> 00:41:30,049 Now-- Now remove your helmet. 686 00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:32,347 Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. 687 00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:34,411 - Just take off the helmet. - I'm not going to. 688 00:41:34,488 --> 00:41:35,682 - Take it off. - No! 689 00:41:35,756 --> 00:41:37,849 - Now! - Okay! 690 00:41:37,925 --> 00:41:42,419 Easy. As you command, Your Highness. 691 00:41:52,473 --> 00:41:55,909 You-- You're a--an ogre. 692 00:41:55,976 --> 00:41:59,878 Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. 693 00:41:59,980 --> 00:42:02,471 Well, yes, actually. 694 00:42:04,385 --> 00:42:07,650 Oh, no. This is all wrong. 695 00:42:07,722 --> 00:42:10,054 You're not supposed to be an ogre. 696 00:42:10,124 --> 00:42:15,391 [ Sighs ] Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? 697 00:42:15,463 --> 00:42:17,397 He's the one who wants to marry you. 698 00:42:17,465 --> 00:42:19,399 Then why didn't he come rescue me? 699 00:42:19,467 --> 00:42:23,801 Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. 700 00:42:23,871 --> 00:42:26,931 But I have to be rescued by my true love, 701 00:42:27,007 --> 00:42:29,771 not by some ogre and his-- his pet. 702 00:42:29,844 --> 00:42:31,903 So much for noble steed. 703 00:42:31,979 --> 00:42:34,607 You're not making my job any easier. 704 00:42:34,682 --> 00:42:38,083 I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. 705 00:42:38,152 --> 00:42:43,419 You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, 706 00:42:43,491 --> 00:42:45,823 I'll be waiting for him right here. 707 00:42:45,893 --> 00:42:50,921 Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. 708 00:42:51,031 --> 00:42:53,295 You wouldn't dare. 709 00:42:53,367 --> 00:42:55,358 - Put me down! - Ya comin', Donkey? 710 00:42:55,436 --> 00:42:57,427 I'm right behind ya. 711 00:42:57,505 --> 00:43:01,100 Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! 712 00:43:01,175 --> 00:43:05,669 This is not dignified! Put me down! [ Screams ] 713 00:43:05,746 --> 00:43:08,647 Okay, so here's another question. 714 00:43:08,716 --> 00:43:11,776 Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. 715 00:43:11,852 --> 00:43:14,218 How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, 716 00:43:14,288 --> 00:43:16,813 but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? 717 00:43:16,891 --> 00:43:19,655 You just tell her she's not your true love. 718 00:43:19,727 --> 00:43:22,457 Everyone knowest what happens when you find your-- 719 00:43:22,530 --> 00:43:25,124 Hey! [ Sighs ] 720 00:43:25,199 --> 00:43:27,463 The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. 721 00:43:27,568 --> 00:43:30,503 You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! 722 00:43:30,571 --> 00:43:34,337 And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? 723 00:43:34,408 --> 00:43:36,535 Let me put it this way, Princess. 724 00:43:36,610 --> 00:43:41,138 Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. 725 00:43:41,182 --> 00:43:42,649 [ Laughs ] 726 00:43:42,716 --> 00:43:46,812 I don't know. There are those who think little of him. 727 00:43:46,887 --> 00:43:48,855 [ Both Laughing ] 728 00:43:48,923 --> 00:43:51,824 Stop it. Stop it, both of you. 729 00:43:51,892 --> 00:43:56,852 You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. 730 00:43:56,931 --> 00:43:59,866 Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. 731 00:43:59,934 --> 00:44:03,233 But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow. 732 00:44:03,304 --> 00:44:07,536 Tomorrow? It'll take that long? 733 00:44:07,608 --> 00:44:12,307 - Shouldn't we stop to make camp? - No, that'll take longer. 734 00:44:12,413 --> 00:44:16,850 - We can keep going. - But there's robbers in the woods. 735 00:44:16,917 --> 00:44:20,250 Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good. 736 00:44:20,321 --> 00:44:24,417 Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. 737 00:44:24,491 --> 00:44:26,857 I need to find somewhere to camp now! 738 00:44:26,961 --> 00:44:29,156 [ Bird Wings Fluttering ] 739 00:44:31,198 --> 00:44:33,689 [ Grunting ] 740 00:44:33,767 --> 00:44:37,863 - Hey! Over here. - Shrek, we can do better than that. 741 00:44:37,938 --> 00:44:40,532 I don't think this is fit for a princess. 742 00:44:40,608 --> 00:44:43,406 No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. 743 00:44:43,477 --> 00:44:48,414 - Homey touches? Like what? - [ Crashing ] 744 00:44:48,482 --> 00:44:52,748 A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. 745 00:44:52,820 --> 00:44:55,220 You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. 746 00:44:55,289 --> 00:44:57,621 I said good night! 747 00:45:00,060 --> 00:45:02,051 Shrek, what are you doing? 748 00:45:02,129 --> 00:45:05,155 [ Laughs ] I just-- You know-- Oh, come on. 749 00:45:05,232 --> 00:45:07,860 I was just kidding. 750 00:45:11,171 --> 00:45:13,105 [ Fire Crackling ] 751 00:45:13,173 --> 00:45:16,768 And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, 752 00:45:16,844 --> 00:45:20,280 the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. 753 00:45:20,347 --> 00:45:23,441 Right. Yeah. 754 00:45:23,517 --> 00:45:26,452 Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? 755 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,115 The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. 756 00:45:30,190 --> 00:45:33,785 Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. 757 00:45:33,861 --> 00:45:37,490 - You can guess what he's famous for. - I know you're making this up. 758 00:45:37,564 --> 00:45:40,294 No, look. There he is, 759 00:45:40,367 --> 00:45:43,461 and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. 760 00:45:43,537 --> 00:45:46,097 That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots. 761 00:45:46,206 --> 00:45:50,142 Sometimes things are more than they appear. 762 00:45:50,210 --> 00:45:52,371 Hmm? 763 00:45:52,446 --> 00:45:54,505 Forget it. 764 00:45:54,581 --> 00:45:57,277 [ Sighs ] 765 00:45:57,351 --> 00:46:01,117 Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? 766 00:46:01,188 --> 00:46:02,985 Our swamp? 767 00:46:03,057 --> 00:46:05,150 You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. 768 00:46:05,225 --> 00:46:09,992 We? Donkey, there's no "we." There's no "our." 769 00:46:10,064 --> 00:46:12,328 There's just me and my swamp. 770 00:46:12,399 --> 00:46:16,665 The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. 771 00:46:16,737 --> 00:46:19,228 You cut me deep, Shrek. 772 00:46:19,306 --> 00:46:22,639 You cut me real deep just now. 773 00:46:22,743 --> 00:46:24,677 You know what I think? 774 00:46:24,745 --> 00:46:27,873 I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. 775 00:46:27,948 --> 00:46:32,146 - No, do ya think? - Are you hidin' something? 776 00:46:32,219 --> 00:46:34,187 Never mind, Donkey. 777 00:46:34,254 --> 00:46:37,690 Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? 778 00:46:37,758 --> 00:46:41,353 No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things. 779 00:46:41,428 --> 00:46:45,194 - Why don't you want to talk about it? - Why do you want to? 780 00:46:45,265 --> 00:46:47,062 - Why are you blocking? - I'm not blocking. 781 00:46:47,134 --> 00:46:49,398 - Oh, yes, you are. - Donkey, I'm warning you. 782 00:46:49,470 --> 00:46:52,962 - Who you trying to keep out? - Everyone! Okay? 783 00:46:54,241 --> 00:46:56,709 Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere. 784 00:46:56,777 --> 00:47:00,076 Oh! For the love of Pete! 785 00:47:00,147 --> 00:47:02,581 What's your problem? What you got against the whole world? 786 00:47:02,649 --> 00:47:04,879 I'm not the one with the problem, okay? 787 00:47:04,952 --> 00:47:07,921 It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. 788 00:47:07,988 --> 00:47:11,890 People take one look at me and go, "Aah! Help! Run! 789 00:47:11,959 --> 00:47:15,725 A big, stupid, ugly ogre!" 790 00:47:15,796 --> 00:47:19,994 [ Sighs ] They judge me before they even know me. 791 00:47:20,100 --> 00:47:22,000 That's why I'm better off alone. 792 00:47:29,943 --> 00:47:32,138 You know what? 793 00:47:32,212 --> 00:47:37,912 When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. 794 00:47:37,985 --> 00:47:40,920 Yeah, I know. 795 00:47:40,988 --> 00:47:44,424 So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? 796 00:47:44,491 --> 00:47:47,892 Well, there's, um, Gabby, 797 00:47:47,961 --> 00:47:50,225 the Small and Annoying. 798 00:47:50,330 --> 00:47:55,267 Okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there? 799 00:47:55,335 --> 00:47:58,498 - That's the moon. - Oh, okay. 800 00:48:08,682 --> 00:48:13,085 [ Orchestra ] 801 00:48:14,688 --> 00:48:18,556 [ Dulcimer ] 802 00:48:19,860 --> 00:48:22,294 [ Farquaad ] Again. Show me again. 803 00:48:22,362 --> 00:48:26,662 [ Music Stops, Rewinds ] 804 00:48:26,733 --> 00:48:30,829 Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. 805 00:48:30,904 --> 00:48:34,965 - Hmph. - [ Rewinds, Resumes ] 806 00:48:35,042 --> 00:48:39,843 Ah. Perfect. [ Inhales ] 807 00:48:46,854 --> 00:48:48,754 [ Snoring ] 808 00:48:56,730 --> 00:49:00,188 [ Vocalizing ] 809 00:49:00,267 --> 00:49:03,498 [ Vocalizing Continues ] 810 00:49:03,570 --> 00:49:06,198 [ Whistling ] 811 00:49:06,273 --> 00:49:09,709 [ Whistling Continues ] 812 00:49:09,776 --> 00:49:12,836 - [ Vocalizes ] - [ Whistles ] 813 00:49:12,913 --> 00:49:15,973 - [ Vocalizes ] - [ Whistles ] 814 00:49:16,049 --> 00:49:19,143 - [ Vocalizing ] - [ Whistling ] 815 00:49:19,219 --> 00:49:22,655 - [ Vocalizing, High-pitched ] - [ Whistling, High-pitched ] 816 00:49:22,723 --> 00:49:24,953 [ Continues ] 817 00:49:27,227 --> 00:49:28,751 [ Sizzling ] 818 00:49:35,702 --> 00:49:39,763 [ Sniffs, Yawns ] 819 00:49:43,076 --> 00:49:45,977 Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that. 820 00:49:46,046 --> 00:49:50,380 - Come on, baby. I said I like it. - Donkey, wake up. 821 00:49:50,450 --> 00:49:53,010 - Huh? What? - Wake up. 822 00:49:53,086 --> 00:49:55,054 - What? - Good morning. 823 00:49:55,122 --> 00:49:58,387 How do you like your eggs? 824 00:49:58,458 --> 00:50:02,417 - Good morning, Princess! - What's all this about? 825 00:50:02,496 --> 00:50:06,455 We kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. 826 00:50:06,533 --> 00:50:08,558 I wanted to make it up to you. 827 00:50:08,635 --> 00:50:13,197 After all, you did rescue me. 828 00:50:13,273 --> 00:50:16,265 - Uh, thanks. - [ Sniffs ] 829 00:50:16,343 --> 00:50:20,143 Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. 830 00:50:24,618 --> 00:50:26,586 - [ Belches ] - Shrek! 831 00:50:26,653 --> 00:50:28,553 What? It's a compliment. 832 00:50:28,622 --> 00:50:31,591 Better out than in, I always say. [ Laughs ] 833 00:50:31,658 --> 00:50:35,424 - Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. - [ Belches ] 834 00:50:35,495 --> 00:50:38,123 - Thanks. - She's as nasty as you are. 835 00:50:38,198 --> 00:50:43,067 [ Laughs ] You know, you're not exactly what I expected. 836 00:50:43,136 --> 00:50:48,233 Maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. 837 00:50:48,308 --> 00:50:50,936 [ Vocalizing ] 838 00:50:51,011 --> 00:50:53,309 [ Man ] La liberte! Hey! 839 00:50:53,380 --> 00:50:55,314 Princess! 840 00:50:55,382 --> 00:50:58,078 - [ Laughs ] - What are you doing? 841 00:50:58,151 --> 00:51:01,052 Be still, mon cherie, for I am your savior! 842 00:51:01,154 --> 00:51:05,614 And I am rescuing you from this green-- [ Kissing Sounds ] 843 00:51:05,692 --> 00:51:08,252 - beast. - Hey! 844 00:51:08,328 --> 00:51:10,660 That's my princess! Go find your own! 845 00:51:10,731 --> 00:51:15,794 Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here? 846 00:51:15,869 --> 00:51:19,464 Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are! 847 00:51:19,539 --> 00:51:22,133 Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude. 848 00:51:22,209 --> 00:51:24,302 Please let me introduce myself. 849 00:51:24,378 --> 00:51:27,279 Oh, Merry Men! [ Laughs ] 850 00:51:27,347 --> 00:51:31,283 [ Accordion ] 851 00:51:31,385 --> 00:51:33,353 Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo 852 00:51:33,420 --> 00:51:35,513 I steal from the rich and give to the needy 853 00:51:35,589 --> 00:51:37,716 - He takes a wee percentage - But I'm not greedy 854 00:51:37,791 --> 00:51:39,816 I rescue pretty damsels Man, I'm good 855 00:51:39,893 --> 00:51:42,862 - What a guy, Monsieur Hood - Break it down. 856 00:51:46,566 --> 00:51:48,830 I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid 857 00:51:48,902 --> 00:51:51,166 - What he's basically saying is he likes to get-- - Paid 858 00:51:51,238 --> 00:51:53,832 - So - When an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush 859 00:51:53,907 --> 00:51:56,205 - That's bad - That's bad 860 00:51:56,276 --> 00:51:58,540 When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad 861 00:51:58,612 --> 00:52:00,546 He's mad He's really, really mad 862 00:52:00,614 --> 00:52:02,514 I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart 863 00:52:02,582 --> 00:52:07,178 Keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start 864 00:52:07,254 --> 00:52:09,814 [ Grunts, Groans ] 865 00:52:09,923 --> 00:52:12,687 - [ Karate Yell ] - [ Merry Men Gasping ] 866 00:52:12,759 --> 00:52:15,387 [ Panting ] Man, that was annoying! 867 00:52:15,462 --> 00:52:17,225 Oh, you little-- 868 00:52:27,274 --> 00:52:29,174 [ Karate Yell ] 869 00:52:32,579 --> 00:52:35,844 [ Accordion ] 870 00:52:38,819 --> 00:52:41,686 [ Shouting, Groaning ] 871 00:52:41,755 --> 00:52:44,383 [ Groaning ] 872 00:52:44,458 --> 00:52:47,518 [ Chuckles ] Um, shall we? 873 00:52:48,862 --> 00:52:51,854 - Hold the phone. - [ Grunts ] 874 00:52:52,332 --> 00:52:55,301 Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. 875 00:52:55,369 --> 00:52:57,394 - Where did that come from? - What? 876 00:52:57,471 --> 00:53:00,372 That! Back there. That was amazing! 877 00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,374 Where did you learn that? 878 00:53:02,442 --> 00:53:05,570 Well-- [ Chuckles ] When one lives alone, 879 00:53:05,645 --> 00:53:08,409 uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a-- 880 00:53:08,482 --> 00:53:11,110 - There's an arrow in your butt! - What? 881 00:53:11,184 --> 00:53:14,984 - Oh, would you look at that? - Oh, no. This is all my fault. 882 00:53:15,055 --> 00:53:16,989 - I'm so sorry. - Why? What's wrong? 883 00:53:17,057 --> 00:53:20,424 - Shrek's hurt. - Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die. 884 00:53:20,494 --> 00:53:24,294 - Donkey, I'm okay. - You can't do this to me. I'm too young for you to die. 885 00:53:24,364 --> 00:53:26,491 Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. 886 00:53:26,566 --> 00:53:29,592 - Does anyone know the Heimlich? - Donkey! Calm down. 887 00:53:29,669 --> 00:53:34,299 If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. 888 00:53:34,374 --> 00:53:37,969 Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. 889 00:53:38,044 --> 00:53:41,502 Don't die, Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! 890 00:53:41,581 --> 00:53:44,744 - [ Both ] Donkey! - Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. 891 00:53:44,851 --> 00:53:47,149 - Blue flower, red thorns. - What are the flowers for? 892 00:53:47,220 --> 00:53:49,450 - For getting rid of Donkey. - Ah. 893 00:53:49,523 --> 00:53:51,923 Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. 894 00:53:51,992 --> 00:53:54,187 Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'. 895 00:53:54,261 --> 00:53:56,923 - I'm sorry, but it has to come out. - No, it's tender. 896 00:53:56,997 --> 00:53:58,760 Now, hold on. 897 00:53:58,832 --> 00:54:00,925 - What you're doing is the opposite of help. - Don't move. 898 00:54:01,001 --> 00:54:03,663 - Look, time out. - Would you-- 899 00:54:03,737 --> 00:54:08,197 [ Grunts ] Okay. What do you propose we do? 900 00:54:08,275 --> 00:54:11,005 Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. 901 00:54:11,077 --> 00:54:13,477 This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! 902 00:54:13,547 --> 00:54:15,640 - Blue flower, red thorns. - [ Shrek ] Ow! 903 00:54:15,715 --> 00:54:18,115 Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! 904 00:54:19,619 --> 00:54:21,780 Ow! Not good. 905 00:54:21,855 --> 00:54:24,380 - Okay. Okay, I can nearly see the head. - [ Grunts ] 906 00:54:24,458 --> 00:54:27,086 - It's just about-- - Ow! Ohh! 907 00:54:28,929 --> 00:54:31,557 Ahem. 908 00:54:31,631 --> 00:54:35,032 Nothing happened. We were just, uh-- 909 00:54:35,101 --> 00:54:37,831 Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. 910 00:54:37,904 --> 00:54:41,169 Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. 911 00:54:41,241 --> 00:54:44,904 The princess here was just-- Ugh! 912 00:54:48,081 --> 00:54:50,811 - Ow! - Hey, what's that? 913 00:54:50,884 --> 00:54:53,717 [ Nervous Chuckle ] That's-- Is that blood? 914 00:54:53,787 --> 00:54:55,721 [ Sighs ] 915 00:54:56,223 --> 00:54:57,713 [ Bird Chirping ] 916 00:55:02,095 --> 00:55:03,995 [ Grunts ] 917 00:55:10,003 --> 00:55:13,666 My beloved monster and me 918 00:55:14,941 --> 00:55:19,435 We go everywhere together 919 00:55:19,513 --> 00:55:24,246 Wearin' a raincoat that has four sleeves 920 00:55:24,317 --> 00:55:28,947 - Gets us through all kinds of weather - Aah! 921 00:55:29,022 --> 00:55:34,289 She will always be the only thing 922 00:55:34,361 --> 00:55:38,889 That comes between me and the awful sting 923 00:55:38,965 --> 00:55:44,028 That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean 924 00:55:50,110 --> 00:55:53,238 [ Croaks ] 925 00:55:53,313 --> 00:55:57,443 Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh 926 00:56:11,898 --> 00:56:13,866 Hey! 927 00:56:13,967 --> 00:56:18,063 - La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la - [ Both Laughing ] 928 00:56:18,138 --> 00:56:22,165 La-la, la-la, la-la 929 00:56:24,177 --> 00:56:26,111 There it is, Princess. 930 00:56:26,179 --> 00:56:28,545 Your future awaits you. 931 00:56:28,615 --> 00:56:30,879 - That's DuLoc? - Yeah, I know. 932 00:56:30,951 --> 00:56:33,613 You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, 933 00:56:33,687 --> 00:56:36,212 which I think means he has a really-- Ow! 934 00:56:36,289 --> 00:56:38,223 Um, I, uh-- 935 00:56:38,291 --> 00:56:40,725 - I guess we better move on. - Sure. 936 00:56:40,794 --> 00:56:42,887 But, Shrek? 937 00:56:42,963 --> 00:56:45,761 - I'm-- I'm worried about Donkey. - [ Blubbering ] 938 00:56:45,832 --> 00:56:48,198 - What? - I mean, look at him. 939 00:56:48,301 --> 00:56:51,293 - He doesn't look so good. - What are you talking about? I'm fine. 940 00:56:51,371 --> 00:56:56,399 That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. 941 00:56:56,476 --> 00:56:58,944 - Dead. - You know, she's right. 942 00:56:59,012 --> 00:57:01,913 You look awful. Do you want to sit down? 943 00:57:01,982 --> 00:57:04,712 - I'll make you some tea. - I didn't want to say nothin', 944 00:57:04,784 --> 00:57:07,548 but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look. 945 00:57:07,621 --> 00:57:09,054 - [ Bones Crunch ] - Ow! See? 946 00:57:09,122 --> 00:57:12,182 - Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner. - I'll get the firewood. 947 00:57:12,292 --> 00:57:16,786 Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! 948 00:57:16,863 --> 00:57:19,388 I don't have any toes! 949 00:57:19,466 --> 00:57:21,798 I think I need a hug. 950 00:57:25,338 --> 00:57:27,602 Mmm. 951 00:57:27,674 --> 00:57:31,633 Mmm. This is good. This is really good. 952 00:57:33,847 --> 00:57:36,111 - What is this? - Uh, weedrat. 953 00:57:36,182 --> 00:57:38,309 Rotisserie style. 954 00:57:38,385 --> 00:57:40,910 No kidding. 955 00:57:40,987 --> 00:57:42,921 Well, this is delicious. 956 00:57:42,989 --> 00:57:45,082 Well, they're also great in stews. 957 00:57:45,158 --> 00:57:49,424 Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weedrat stew. 958 00:57:49,496 --> 00:57:53,023 [ Chuckling ] 959 00:57:53,099 --> 00:57:57,263 [ Sighs ] I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. 960 00:57:57,337 --> 00:58:02,434 [ Gulps ] Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. 961 00:58:02,509 --> 00:58:04,670 I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. 962 00:58:04,744 --> 00:58:08,646 Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare-- you name it. 963 00:58:08,715 --> 00:58:11,843 [ Chuckles ] I'd like that. 964 00:58:11,918 --> 00:58:15,285 [ Slurps, Laughs ] 965 00:58:18,758 --> 00:58:21,989 See the pyramids along the Nile 966 00:58:22,062 --> 00:58:24,690 Um, Princess? 967 00:58:24,764 --> 00:58:29,030 - Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle - Yes, Shrek? 968 00:58:29,102 --> 00:58:32,970 - I, um, I was wondering. - Just remember, darling all the while 969 00:58:33,039 --> 00:58:35,303 Are you-- 970 00:58:35,375 --> 00:58:37,969 You belong to me 971 00:58:38,044 --> 00:58:40,808 [ Sighs ] Are you gonna eat that? 972 00:58:45,618 --> 00:58:47,552 [ Chuckles ] 973 00:58:47,620 --> 00:58:51,716 - Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset. - Sunset? 974 00:58:51,791 --> 00:58:54,316 Oh, no! I mean, it's late. 975 00:58:54,427 --> 00:58:56,327 - I-It's very late. - What? 976 00:58:56,396 --> 00:58:59,331 Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. 977 00:58:59,399 --> 00:59:02,368 - You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? - Yes! 978 00:59:02,435 --> 00:59:06,428 Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside. 979 00:59:06,506 --> 00:59:09,873 Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until-- 980 00:59:09,943 --> 00:59:12,707 Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. 981 00:59:12,779 --> 00:59:15,942 - [ Shrek Sighs ] - Good night. 982 00:59:16,015 --> 00:59:19,075 Good night. 983 00:59:19,152 --> 00:59:22,212 - [ Door Creaks ] - [ Donkey ] Ohh! 984 00:59:22,288 --> 00:59:25,052 Now I really see what's goin' on here. 985 00:59:25,125 --> 00:59:27,059 Oh, what are you talkin' about? 986 00:59:27,127 --> 00:59:29,891 I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. 987 00:59:29,963 --> 00:59:32,397 I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it. 988 00:59:32,465 --> 00:59:35,298 You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. 989 00:59:35,368 --> 00:59:38,735 Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. 990 00:59:38,805 --> 00:59:41,467 - Just go on in and tell her how you feel. - I-- 991 00:59:41,541 --> 00:59:45,568 There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, 992 00:59:45,645 --> 00:59:47,545 well, you know-- 993 00:59:47,647 --> 00:59:51,139 and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't-- 994 00:59:51,217 --> 00:59:53,651 she's a princess, and I'm-- 995 00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,416 An ogre? 996 00:59:56,489 --> 00:59:59,151 Yeah. An ogre. 997 00:59:59,225 --> 01:00:03,286 - Hey, where you goin'? - To get... more firewood. 998 01:00:13,673 --> 01:00:15,732 [ Sighs ] 999 01:00:22,549 --> 01:00:24,244 Princess? 1000 01:00:24,317 --> 01:00:27,013 Princess Fiona? 1001 01:00:31,257 --> 01:00:34,124 Princess, where are you? 1002 01:00:34,194 --> 01:00:36,719 [ Wings Fluttering ] 1003 01:00:39,365 --> 01:00:41,856 Princess? 1004 01:00:41,935 --> 01:00:44,870 - [ Creaking ] - [ Gasps ] 1005 01:00:44,938 --> 01:00:47,702 It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games. 1006 01:00:52,212 --> 01:00:53,941 [ Screams ] 1007 01:00:57,917 --> 01:01:00,351 - Aah! - Oh, no! - No, help! 1008 01:01:00,420 --> 01:01:03,514 - Shh! - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! - No, it's okay. It's okay. 1009 01:01:03,590 --> 01:01:06,491 - What did you do with the princess? - Donkey, I'm the princess. 1010 01:01:06,559 --> 01:01:09,323 - Aah! - It's me, in this body. 1011 01:01:09,395 --> 01:01:11,955 Oh, my God! You ate the princess! 1012 01:01:12,031 --> 01:01:13,965 - Can you hear me? - Donkey! 1013 01:01:14,033 --> 01:01:16,365 - Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there! - No! 1014 01:01:16,436 --> 01:01:18,904 - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! - Shh. 1015 01:01:18,972 --> 01:01:20,837 - Shrek! - This is me. 1016 01:01:20,907 --> 01:01:22,807 [ Muffled Mumbling ] 1017 01:01:25,945 --> 01:01:28,846 Princess? 1018 01:01:28,915 --> 01:01:32,407 What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, 1019 01:01:32,485 --> 01:01:34,419 uh, different. 1020 01:01:34,487 --> 01:01:36,751 - I'm ugly, okay? - Well, yeah! 1021 01:01:36,823 --> 01:01:39,986 Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. 1022 01:01:40,059 --> 01:01:42,584 - You are what you eat, I said. Now-- - No. 1023 01:01:42,662 --> 01:01:46,029 I-- I've been this way as long as I can remember. 1024 01:01:46,099 --> 01:01:48,567 What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before. 1025 01:01:48,635 --> 01:01:51,798 It only happens when the sun goes down. 1026 01:01:53,239 --> 01:01:56,834 "By night one way, by day another. 1027 01:01:56,943 --> 01:01:59,002 "This shall be the norm... 1028 01:01:59,078 --> 01:02:02,206 "until you find true love's first kiss... 1029 01:02:02,282 --> 01:02:06,719 and then take love's true form." 1030 01:02:06,786 --> 01:02:10,347 Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. 1031 01:02:10,423 --> 01:02:12,357 It's a spell. 1032 01:02:12,425 --> 01:02:15,019 [ Sighs ] When I was a little girl, 1033 01:02:15,094 --> 01:02:17,756 a witch cast a spell on me. 1034 01:02:17,830 --> 01:02:20,390 Every night I become this. 1035 01:02:20,466 --> 01:02:24,129 This horrible, ugly beast! 1036 01:02:26,639 --> 01:02:31,702 I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. 1037 01:02:31,778 --> 01:02:34,338 That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow... 1038 01:02:34,447 --> 01:02:37,848 before the sun sets and he sees me... 1039 01:02:39,118 --> 01:02:42,087 like this. [ Sobs ] 1040 01:02:42,155 --> 01:02:45,420 All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. 1041 01:02:45,491 --> 01:02:49,655 You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. 1042 01:02:49,729 --> 01:02:52,755 But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. 1043 01:02:52,832 --> 01:02:56,233 But, Donkey, I'm a princess, 1044 01:02:56,302 --> 01:02:59,897 and this is not how a princess is meant to look. 1045 01:02:59,973 --> 01:03:03,739 Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? 1046 01:03:03,810 --> 01:03:05,744 I have to. 1047 01:03:05,812 --> 01:03:08,645 Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. 1048 01:03:08,715 --> 01:03:12,276 But, you know, um, you're kind of an ogre, 1049 01:03:12,352 --> 01:03:15,788 and Shrek-- well, you got a lot in common. 1050 01:03:15,855 --> 01:03:17,345 Shrek? 1051 01:03:17,423 --> 01:03:21,257 Princess, I-- Uh, how's it going, first of all? 1052 01:03:21,361 --> 01:03:24,159 Good? Um, good for me too. 1053 01:03:24,230 --> 01:03:26,164 I'm okay. 1054 01:03:26,232 --> 01:03:31,135 I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and-- 1055 01:03:31,204 --> 01:03:35,470 well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. 1056 01:03:35,541 --> 01:03:38,772 But I like you anyway. I'd-- uh, uh-- 1057 01:03:38,845 --> 01:03:40,836 [ Sighs ] 1058 01:03:40,913 --> 01:03:44,474 I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. 1059 01:03:44,550 --> 01:03:47,041 [ Fiona ] I can't just marry whoever I want. 1060 01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,418 Take a good look at me, Donkey. 1061 01:03:49,522 --> 01:03:51,456 I mean, really, 1062 01:03:51,524 --> 01:03:54,186 who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? 1063 01:03:54,260 --> 01:03:56,694 "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. 1064 01:03:56,763 --> 01:03:59,197 - That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. - [ Gasps ] 1065 01:03:59,265 --> 01:04:03,702 My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. 1066 01:04:03,770 --> 01:04:07,206 - [ Deep Sigh ] - Don't you see, Donkey? 1067 01:04:07,273 --> 01:04:10,572 That's just how it has to be. 1068 01:04:10,643 --> 01:04:13,703 It's the only way to break the spell. 1069 01:04:13,780 --> 01:04:16,544 - You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. - No! 1070 01:04:16,616 --> 01:04:19,551 You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. 1071 01:04:19,619 --> 01:04:21,746 What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? 1072 01:04:21,821 --> 01:04:24,984 Promise you won't tell. Promise! 1073 01:04:25,058 --> 01:04:28,152 All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. 1074 01:04:28,227 --> 01:04:31,219 I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. 1075 01:04:31,297 --> 01:04:34,824 - Look at my eye twitchin'. - [ Door Opens ] 1076 01:04:53,953 --> 01:04:57,445 [ Snoring ] 1077 01:04:57,523 --> 01:05:01,289 [ Fiona ] I tell him, I tell him not. 1078 01:05:01,661 --> 01:05:05,757 I tell him, I tell him not. 1079 01:05:05,832 --> 01:05:07,766 I tell him. 1080 01:05:07,834 --> 01:05:09,927 Shrek! 1081 01:05:10,002 --> 01:05:12,562 Shrek, there's something I want-- 1082 01:05:12,638 --> 01:05:15,630 [ Snoring ] 1083 01:05:33,359 --> 01:05:35,554 Shrek. 1084 01:05:36,996 --> 01:05:39,055 - Are you all right? - Perfect! 1085 01:05:39,132 --> 01:05:41,100 Never been better. 1086 01:05:41,167 --> 01:05:44,466 I-- I don't-- There's something I have to tell you. 1087 01:05:44,537 --> 01:05:47,097 You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. 1088 01:05:47,173 --> 01:05:49,266 - I heard enough last night. - You heard what I said? 1089 01:05:49,342 --> 01:05:51,276 Every word. 1090 01:05:51,344 --> 01:05:53,505 I thought you'd understand. 1091 01:05:53,579 --> 01:05:55,513 Oh, I understand. 1092 01:05:55,581 --> 01:05:59,176 Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?" 1093 01:05:59,252 --> 01:06:01,948 But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. 1094 01:06:02,021 --> 01:06:03,784 Yeah? Well, it does. 1095 01:06:03,856 --> 01:06:06,290 [ Gasps, Sighs ] 1096 01:06:06,359 --> 01:06:08,589 - Ah, right on time. - [ Horse Whinnies ] 1097 01:06:08,661 --> 01:06:11,528 Princess, I've brought you a little something. 1098 01:06:11,597 --> 01:06:15,863 [ Fanfare ] 1099 01:06:15,935 --> 01:06:19,598 [ Yawns ] What'd I miss? What'd I miss? 1100 01:06:19,705 --> 01:06:22,333 [ Muffled ] Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey. 1101 01:06:23,709 --> 01:06:26,177 Princess Fiona. 1102 01:06:26,245 --> 01:06:28,941 As promised. Now hand it over. 1103 01:06:29,048 --> 01:06:33,314 Very well, ogre. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. 1104 01:06:33,386 --> 01:06:37,948 Take it and go before I change my mind. 1105 01:06:38,024 --> 01:06:40,857 Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, 1106 01:06:40,927 --> 01:06:42,861 but you startled me, 1107 01:06:42,929 --> 01:06:46,626 for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. 1108 01:06:46,699 --> 01:06:49,691 I am Lord Farquaad. 1109 01:06:49,769 --> 01:06:53,671 Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. 1110 01:06:53,739 --> 01:06:56,708 - [ Snaps Fingers ] - Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying... 1111 01:06:56,776 --> 01:07:02,237 a short... farewell. 1112 01:07:02,315 --> 01:07:06,979 That is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. 1113 01:07:07,053 --> 01:07:08,987 It's not like it has feelings. 1114 01:07:09,055 --> 01:07:13,014 No, you're right. It doesn't. 1115 01:07:13,092 --> 01:07:17,085 Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona. 1116 01:07:17,163 --> 01:07:20,189 - I ask your hand in marriage. - [ Gasps ] 1117 01:07:20,266 --> 01:07:25,294 Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? 1118 01:07:28,608 --> 01:07:33,773 Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make-- 1119 01:07:33,846 --> 01:07:37,043 Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed! 1120 01:07:37,116 --> 01:07:39,050 No! I mean, uh, 1121 01:07:39,118 --> 01:07:41,518 why wait? 1122 01:07:41,587 --> 01:07:45,421 Let's get married today before the sun sets. 1123 01:07:45,491 --> 01:07:48,187 Oh, anxious, are we? You're right. 1124 01:07:48,294 --> 01:07:52,230 The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! 1125 01:07:52,298 --> 01:07:54,630 There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. 1126 01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:57,726 Captain, round up some guests! 1127 01:07:57,803 --> 01:08:00,533 [ Fiona ] Fare-thee-well, ogre. 1128 01:08:00,606 --> 01:08:03,200 Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away. 1129 01:08:03,276 --> 01:08:05,972 - Yeah? So what? - Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. 1130 01:08:06,045 --> 01:08:08,479 Look, I talked to her last night. She's-- 1131 01:08:08,547 --> 01:08:12,608 I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? 1132 01:08:12,685 --> 01:08:16,451 Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? 1133 01:08:16,522 --> 01:08:18,490 Shrek, I-- I wanna go with you. 1134 01:08:18,557 --> 01:08:21,549 I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. 1135 01:08:21,627 --> 01:08:25,586 I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! 1136 01:08:25,665 --> 01:08:27,758 Understand? Nobody! 1137 01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:32,668 Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! 1138 01:08:32,738 --> 01:08:35,935 - But I thought-- - Yeah. You know what? 1139 01:08:36,008 --> 01:08:38,203 You thought wrong! 1140 01:08:39,979 --> 01:08:41,879 Shrek. 1141 01:08:47,687 --> 01:08:51,680 I heard there was a secret chord 1142 01:08:51,757 --> 01:08:54,817 That David played and it pleased the Lord 1143 01:08:54,894 --> 01:08:59,729 But you don't really care for music, do ya 1144 01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:04,833 It goes like this the fourth, the fifth 1145 01:09:04,904 --> 01:09:07,429 The minor fall the major lift 1146 01:09:07,540 --> 01:09:14,173 The baffled king composing hallelujah 1147 01:09:14,246 --> 01:09:17,511 Hallelujah 1148 01:09:17,583 --> 01:09:21,019 Hallelujah 1149 01:09:21,087 --> 01:09:25,023 Hallelujah 1150 01:09:25,091 --> 01:09:29,858 Hallelujah 1151 01:09:31,764 --> 01:09:35,291 Baby, I've been here before 1152 01:09:35,368 --> 01:09:38,496 I know this room I've walked this floor 1153 01:09:38,571 --> 01:09:43,634 I used to live alone before I knew you 1154 01:09:45,378 --> 01:09:48,472 I've seen your flag on the marble arch 1155 01:09:48,547 --> 01:09:51,880 But love is not a victory march 1156 01:09:51,951 --> 01:09:56,388 It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah 1157 01:09:57,990 --> 01:10:01,153 Hallelujah 1158 01:10:01,227 --> 01:10:04,355 Hallelujah 1159 01:10:04,430 --> 01:10:07,490 Hallelujah 1160 01:10:07,566 --> 01:10:13,061 Hallelujah 1161 01:10:14,807 --> 01:10:18,675 And all I ever learned from love 1162 01:10:18,744 --> 01:10:21,110 Is how to shoot at someone 1163 01:10:21,180 --> 01:10:23,774 - Who outdrew you - [ Moaning ] 1164 01:10:23,849 --> 01:10:27,580 And it's not a cry you can hear at night 1165 01:10:27,653 --> 01:10:30,713 It's not somebody who's seen the light 1166 01:10:30,790 --> 01:10:37,855 - It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah - [ Moaning ] 1167 01:10:37,930 --> 01:10:40,728 Hallelujah 1168 01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:44,065 Hallelujah 1169 01:10:44,136 --> 01:10:47,401 Hallelujah 1170 01:10:47,473 --> 01:10:54,037 Hallelujah 1171 01:10:57,650 --> 01:11:00,642 [ Thumping Sound ] 1172 01:11:02,354 --> 01:11:04,379 Donkey? 1173 01:11:04,457 --> 01:11:06,652 - [ Grunts ] - What are you doing? 1174 01:11:06,725 --> 01:11:09,717 I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. 1175 01:11:09,795 --> 01:11:11,729 Well, yeah. 1176 01:11:11,797 --> 01:11:15,164 But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. 1177 01:11:15,234 --> 01:11:18,067 It is around your half. See, that's your half, and this is my half. 1178 01:11:18,137 --> 01:11:20,731 Oh! Your half. Hmm. 1179 01:11:20,806 --> 01:11:23,331 Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. 1180 01:11:23,409 --> 01:11:25,673 I did half the work, I get half the booty. 1181 01:11:25,744 --> 01:11:29,111 Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. 1182 01:11:29,181 --> 01:11:31,513 - Back off! - No, you back off. 1183 01:11:31,584 --> 01:11:33,609 - This is my swamp! - Our swamp. 1184 01:11:33,686 --> 01:11:35,620 - Let go, Donkey! - You let go. 1185 01:11:35,688 --> 01:11:37,656 - Stubborn jackass! - Smelly ogre. 1186 01:11:37,723 --> 01:11:39,953 Fine! 1187 01:11:40,025 --> 01:11:43,358 - Hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet. - Well, I'm through with you. 1188 01:11:43,429 --> 01:11:46,694 Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" 1189 01:11:46,765 --> 01:11:49,359 Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! 1190 01:11:49,435 --> 01:11:51,596 So you just shut up and pay attention! 1191 01:11:51,670 --> 01:11:53,638 You are mean to me. 1192 01:11:53,706 --> 01:11:56,197 You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! 1193 01:11:56,275 --> 01:11:59,369 You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. 1194 01:11:59,445 --> 01:12:03,313 Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? 1195 01:12:03,382 --> 01:12:06,613 Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other! 1196 01:12:06,685 --> 01:12:09,882 Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. 1197 01:12:09,955 --> 01:12:14,187 I forgive you... for stabbin' me in the back! 1198 01:12:14,260 --> 01:12:19,698 Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings. 1199 01:12:19,765 --> 01:12:23,223 - Go away! - There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona. 1200 01:12:23,302 --> 01:12:25,896 All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you. 1201 01:12:25,971 --> 01:12:30,135 Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. 1202 01:12:30,209 --> 01:12:32,143 I heard the two of you talking. 1203 01:12:32,211 --> 01:12:34,145 She wasn't talkin' about you. 1204 01:12:34,213 --> 01:12:36,545 She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else. 1205 01:12:39,084 --> 01:12:41,518 She wasn't talking about me? 1206 01:12:41,587 --> 01:12:43,885 Well, then who was she talking about? 1207 01:12:43,956 --> 01:12:46,686 Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. 1208 01:12:46,759 --> 01:12:49,057 - Right? Right? - Donkey! 1209 01:12:49,128 --> 01:12:51,653 - No! - Okay, look. 1210 01:12:51,764 --> 01:12:53,664 I'm sorry, all right? 1211 01:12:55,301 --> 01:12:57,235 Hmph. 1212 01:12:58,571 --> 01:13:02,200 [ Sighs ] I'm sorry. 1213 01:13:02,274 --> 01:13:06,506 I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. 1214 01:13:07,746 --> 01:13:09,680 Can you forgive me? 1215 01:13:11,917 --> 01:13:13,851 Hey, that's what friends are for, right? 1216 01:13:13,919 --> 01:13:16,581 Right. Friends? 1217 01:13:16,655 --> 01:13:18,589 Friends. 1218 01:13:18,657 --> 01:13:21,626 So, um, 1219 01:13:21,694 --> 01:13:23,958 what did Fiona say about me? 1220 01:13:24,029 --> 01:13:27,192 What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her? 1221 01:13:27,266 --> 01:13:30,258 The wedding! We'll never make it in time. 1222 01:13:30,336 --> 01:13:33,567 Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where there's a will, there's a way, 1223 01:13:33,639 --> 01:13:35,766 and I have a way. [ Whistles ] 1224 01:13:40,145 --> 01:13:42,613 - Donkey? - [ Donkey Laughing ] 1225 01:13:42,681 --> 01:13:45,081 I guess it's just my animal magnetism. 1226 01:13:45,150 --> 01:13:48,313 [ Laughing ] Aw, come here, you. 1227 01:13:48,387 --> 01:13:51,220 All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. 1228 01:13:51,290 --> 01:13:53,815 All right, hop on and hold on tight. 1229 01:13:53,892 --> 01:13:57,384 I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet. 1230 01:14:03,836 --> 01:14:06,327 [ Donkey Laughing ] Whoo! 1231 01:14:19,852 --> 01:14:23,720 [ Bells Tolling ] 1232 01:14:26,859 --> 01:14:28,986 [ All Gasping ] 1233 01:14:29,061 --> 01:14:31,621 People of DuLoc, 1234 01:14:31,697 --> 01:14:34,359 we gather here today... 1235 01:14:34,433 --> 01:14:36,492 to bear witness... 1236 01:14:36,568 --> 01:14:38,502 - to the union... - Um-- 1237 01:14:38,570 --> 01:14:41,038 - of our new king-- - Excuse me. 1238 01:14:41,106 --> 01:14:43,802 - Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"? - [ Chuckling ] 1239 01:14:43,876 --> 01:14:45,776 Go on. 1240 01:14:50,849 --> 01:14:54,444 Go ahead, have some fun. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? 1241 01:14:57,089 --> 01:14:59,023 Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! 1242 01:14:59,091 --> 01:15:01,787 - You wanna do this right, don't you? - What are you talking about? 1243 01:15:01,860 --> 01:15:03,794 There's a line you gotta wait for. 1244 01:15:03,862 --> 01:15:06,353 The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." 1245 01:15:06,432 --> 01:15:10,198 - That's when you say, "I object!" - I don't have time for this! 1246 01:15:10,269 --> 01:15:11,998 Wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! 1247 01:15:12,071 --> 01:15:14,005 - Look, you love this woman, don't you? - Yes. 1248 01:15:14,073 --> 01:15:15,370 - You wanna hold her? - Yes. 1249 01:15:15,441 --> 01:15:17,204 - Please her? - Yes! 1250 01:15:17,242 --> 01:15:20,370 Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness 1251 01:15:20,446 --> 01:15:23,210 - The chicks love that romantic crap! - All right! Cut it out. 1252 01:15:23,282 --> 01:15:26,911 - When does this guy say the line? - We gotta check it out. 1253 01:15:26,985 --> 01:15:30,148 - [ Donkey Grunting ] - And so, by the power vested in me, 1254 01:15:30,255 --> 01:15:33,520 - [ Shrek ] What do you see? - The whole town's in there. 1255 01:15:33,592 --> 01:15:36,720 - I now pronounce you husband and wife, - They're at the altar. 1256 01:15:36,795 --> 01:15:39,355 - king and queen. - Mother Fletcher! He already said it. 1257 01:15:39,431 --> 01:15:42,059 - Oh, for the love of Pete! - [ Grunts ] 1258 01:15:43,302 --> 01:15:45,361 I object! 1259 01:15:45,437 --> 01:15:47,530 - Shrek? - [ Gasps ] 1260 01:15:47,606 --> 01:15:49,540 Oh, now what does he want? 1261 01:15:49,608 --> 01:15:53,044 [ Crowd Clamoring ] 1262 01:15:53,112 --> 01:15:56,172 Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? 1263 01:15:56,248 --> 01:15:58,443 I love DuLoc, first of all. 1264 01:15:58,517 --> 01:16:01,042 - Very clean. - What are you doing here? 1265 01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:04,055 Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, 1266 01:16:04,123 --> 01:16:07,456 - but showing up uninvited to a wedding-- - Fiona! 1267 01:16:07,526 --> 01:16:10,552 - I need to talk to you. - Oh, now you wanna talk? 1268 01:16:10,629 --> 01:16:13,598 It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me-- 1269 01:16:13,665 --> 01:16:16,031 - But you can't marry him. - And why not? 1270 01:16:16,135 --> 01:16:20,037 Because-- Because he's just marrying you so he can be king. 1271 01:16:20,105 --> 01:16:22,471 Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. 1272 01:16:22,541 --> 01:16:26,204 - He's not your true love. - And what do you know about true love? 1273 01:16:26,278 --> 01:16:28,644 Well, I-- Uh-- 1274 01:16:28,714 --> 01:16:32,115 - I mean-- - Oh, this is precious. 1275 01:16:32,184 --> 01:16:36,848 [ Chuckling ] The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! 1276 01:16:36,955 --> 01:16:39,219 - Oh, good Lord. - [ Crowd Laughing ] 1277 01:16:39,291 --> 01:16:41,225 An ogre and a princess! 1278 01:16:41,293 --> 01:16:44,524 [ Laughing Continues ] 1279 01:16:46,832 --> 01:16:49,323 Shrek, is this true? 1280 01:16:50,736 --> 01:16:53,296 Who cares? It's preposterous! 1281 01:16:53,372 --> 01:16:57,001 Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." 1282 01:16:57,075 --> 01:16:59,669 Now kiss me! Mmmm! 1283 01:17:03,749 --> 01:17:07,082 "By night one way, by day another. " 1284 01:17:09,021 --> 01:17:11,751 I wanted to show you before. 1285 01:17:30,676 --> 01:17:34,237 - [ Whimpers ] - [ Crowd Gasping ] 1286 01:17:34,346 --> 01:17:36,871 Well, uh, 1287 01:17:36,949 --> 01:17:38,974 that explains a lot. 1288 01:17:39,051 --> 01:17:42,714 [ Farquaad ] Ugh! It's disgusting! 1289 01:17:42,788 --> 01:17:44,847 Guards! Guards! 1290 01:17:44,923 --> 01:17:48,120 I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! 1291 01:17:48,193 --> 01:17:50,991 - Get them both! - No, no! 1292 01:17:51,063 --> 01:17:54,829 This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! 1293 01:17:54,900 --> 01:17:57,198 - See? See? - No, let go of me! Shrek! 1294 01:17:57,269 --> 01:17:58,998 - No! - [ Farquaad ] Don't just stand there, you morons. 1295 01:17:59,071 --> 01:18:01,596 Get out of my way! Fiona! 1296 01:18:04,276 --> 01:18:06,801 Arrgh! 1297 01:18:06,879 --> 01:18:09,871 I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! 1298 01:18:09,948 --> 01:18:12,883 - You'll beg for death to save you! - No! Shrek! 1299 01:18:12,951 --> 01:18:16,478 - And as for you, my wife, - Fiona! 1300 01:18:16,555 --> 01:18:19,217 I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! 1301 01:18:19,291 --> 01:18:21,122 - I am king! - [ Whistles ] 1302 01:18:21,226 --> 01:18:24,992 I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have-- 1303 01:18:26,298 --> 01:18:29,358 Aaah! 1304 01:18:29,434 --> 01:18:32,198 - Aah! - All right. Nobody move. 1305 01:18:32,271 --> 01:18:34,364 I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. 1306 01:18:34,439 --> 01:18:37,067 - [ Dragon Roars ] - I'm a donkey on the edge! 1307 01:18:38,477 --> 01:18:41,674 - [ Belches ] - [ Donkey Laughs ] 1308 01:18:41,747 --> 01:18:44,181 Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? 1309 01:18:44,249 --> 01:18:46,240 [ Cheering ] 1310 01:18:46,318 --> 01:18:48,149 Go ahead, Shrek. 1311 01:18:49,521 --> 01:18:51,819 Uh, Fiona? 1312 01:18:52,958 --> 01:18:55,188 Yes, Shrek? 1313 01:18:55,260 --> 01:18:59,287 I-- I love you. 1314 01:18:59,364 --> 01:19:01,628 Really? 1315 01:19:02,701 --> 01:19:05,727 Really, really. 1316 01:19:05,804 --> 01:19:07,704 I love you too. 1317 01:19:13,178 --> 01:19:14,839 [ All ] Aawww! 1318 01:19:16,782 --> 01:19:20,047 [ Fiona's Voice ] "Until you find true love's first kiss... 1319 01:19:20,118 --> 01:19:23,383 [ Echoing ] and then take love's true form. " 1320 01:19:46,979 --> 01:19:49,880 [ Echoing Continues ] "Take love's true form. Take love's true form. " 1321 01:19:56,054 --> 01:19:58,545 Fiona? 1322 01:20:01,059 --> 01:20:03,653 Fiona. 1323 01:20:03,729 --> 01:20:06,289 Are you all right? 1324 01:20:06,365 --> 01:20:08,299 Well, yes. 1325 01:20:08,367 --> 01:20:11,632 But I don't understand. 1326 01:20:11,703 --> 01:20:13,830 I'm supposed to be beautiful. 1327 01:20:16,541 --> 01:20:18,805 But you are beautiful. 1328 01:20:18,877 --> 01:20:21,072 [ Chuckles ] 1329 01:20:21,413 --> 01:20:23,779 I was hoping this would be a happy ending. 1330 01:20:27,619 --> 01:20:32,056 I thought love was only true in fairy tales 1331 01:20:32,124 --> 01:20:33,591 [ All ] Oy! 1332 01:20:33,658 --> 01:20:37,389 Meant for someone else but not for me 1333 01:20:39,798 --> 01:20:42,767 Love was out to get me 1334 01:20:42,834 --> 01:20:45,667 That's the way it seemed 1335 01:20:45,737 --> 01:20:50,197 Disappointment haunted all my dreams 1336 01:20:50,275 --> 01:20:53,574 And then I saw her face 1337 01:20:53,645 --> 01:20:56,443 Now I'm a believer 1338 01:20:56,515 --> 01:20:59,075 And not a trace 1339 01:20:59,151 --> 01:21:01,915 Of doubt in my mind 1340 01:21:01,987 --> 01:21:06,048 - I'm in love - Ooh-ahh 1341 01:21:06,124 --> 01:21:08,592 I'm a believer I couldn't leave her 1342 01:21:08,660 --> 01:21:10,890 If I tried 1343 01:21:10,962 --> 01:21:15,023 God bless us, every one. 1344 01:21:15,100 --> 01:21:18,627 Come on, y'all! Then I saw her face. Ha-ha! 1345 01:21:18,703 --> 01:21:21,866 Now I'm a believer Listen! 1346 01:21:21,940 --> 01:21:24,704 Not a trace 1347 01:21:24,810 --> 01:21:27,608 Of doubt in my mind 1348 01:21:27,679 --> 01:21:30,944 I'm in love Ooh-ahh 1349 01:21:31,016 --> 01:21:35,282 I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I tried 1350 01:21:35,353 --> 01:21:38,220 - Ooh! - Uh! 1351 01:21:38,290 --> 01:21:40,884 Then I saw her face 1352 01:21:40,959 --> 01:21:43,928 Now I'm a believer Hey! 1353 01:21:43,995 --> 01:21:46,793 Not a trace Uhh! Yeah. 1354 01:21:46,865 --> 01:21:50,130 Of doubt in my mind One more time! 1355 01:21:50,202 --> 01:21:54,764 I'm in love I'm a believer 1356 01:21:54,840 --> 01:21:56,705 Come on! 1357 01:21:56,775 --> 01:21:58,709 I believe, I believe I believe, I believe 1358 01:21:58,777 --> 01:22:01,439 I believe, I believe I believe, I believe, I believe, hey 1359 01:22:01,513 --> 01:22:04,107 Y'all sing it with me! I 1360 01:22:04,182 --> 01:22:05,877 Believe 1361 01:22:05,951 --> 01:22:08,920 I believe People in the back! 1362 01:22:08,987 --> 01:22:11,922 - I believe - I'm a believer 1363 01:22:11,990 --> 01:22:14,959 I believe 1364 01:22:15,026 --> 01:22:17,927 I believe 1365 01:22:17,996 --> 01:22:22,433 I believe 1366 01:22:22,501 --> 01:22:24,765 [ Hysterical Laughing ] 1367 01:22:24,836 --> 01:22:27,100 Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. 1368 01:22:27,172 --> 01:22:29,732 I can't breathe. I can't breathe.