1
00:00:02,282 --> 00:00:04,546
<i>[Radio Announcer]</i>
<i>It looks good.</i>

2
00:00:04,618 --> 00:00:07,883
<i>On the northwest toll,</i>
<i>eastbound trafflc is moving</i>
<i>nicely this morning...</i>

3
00:00:07,954 --> 00:00:10,218
<i>from Beecham Road</i>
<i>down to River Road.</i>

4
00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:13,384
<i>Westbound, there's now a 20-car</i>
<i>backup at the Devon Avenue toll.</i>

5
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:16,896
<i>And on the northbound l-290</i>
<i>extension at Thorndale Avenue,</i>

6
00:00:16,963 --> 00:00:18,897
<i>we had a spinout there.</i>

7
00:00:18,965 --> 00:00:21,058
<i>And that car was blocking</i>
<i>the right-hand lane...</i>

8
00:00:21,134 --> 00:00:24,570
<i>and also blocking the lane</i>
<i>that's coming off of the, uh,</i>

9
00:00:24,638 --> 00:00:27,402
<i>eastbound Thorndale Avenue</i>
<i>entrance ramp...</i>

10
00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:30,910
<i>leading to the northbound,</i>
<i>uh, l-290 extension.</i>

11
00:00:30,977 --> 00:00:33,468
<i>- This was causing a backup</i>
<i>to Irving Park. We have...</i>
- [Paper Bangs Door]

12
00:00:33,547 --> 00:00:38,041
[Alarm Blaring]

13
00:00:38,118 --> 00:00:40,586
Come on, chop-chop.
We got relatives
invading this afternoon.

14
00:00:40,654 --> 00:00:44,647
Ginny, Mike, Sara, Sam!
Come on. Everybody up!

15
00:00:44,725 --> 00:00:46,659
"<i>[Loud Rock]</i>

16
00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:49,218
Oh, I think
I have a fever.

17
00:00:49,296 --> 00:00:51,230
You don't have
a fever.

18
00:00:51,298 --> 00:00:53,562
Shut your face.
Make me.

19
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:55,863
<i>[Phone Ringing]</i>
Dad,
Mike hit me!

20
00:00:55,936 --> 00:00:59,463
<i>[Mike] You liar.</i>
Mike, come on, pal.
We got a wedding tomorrow.

21
00:00:59,539 --> 00:01:02,508
Try to cooperate,
will ya?
Dad, I didn't hit her.

22
00:01:02,576 --> 00:01:06,342
I'd like to very much,
and I probably will later,
but gimme a break.

23
00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:09,507
You know my method.
I don't hit her when
you're just down the hall.

24
00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:11,676
Pick on someone
your own size.

25
00:01:13,387 --> 00:01:15,321
Open this door.

26
00:01:16,757 --> 00:01:19,521
Daddy, I'm the one
getting married.

27
00:01:19,593 --> 00:01:22,858
<i>[Dad]</i>
<i>Not until tomorrow. I've got</i>
<i>a mouthful of toothpaste.</i>

28
00:01:22,929 --> 00:01:26,387
I happen to have
a serious problem.

29
00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:28,400
<i>Dad.</i>

30
00:01:28,468 --> 00:01:31,437
She got her period.
Should make for
an interesting honeymoon, huh?

31
00:01:31,505 --> 00:01:34,702
- Where are you learning
that stuff?
- School.

32
00:01:34,775 --> 00:01:37,869
Good. Gettin'
my money's worth.

33
00:01:38,311 --> 00:01:42,213
<i>[Radio Announcer]</i>
<i>They were fantastic. Just great.</i>
<i>What a great crowd.</i>

34
00:01:42,282 --> 00:01:45,877
<i>And it was so much fun...</i>
<i>[Man]</i> '<i>It's a good thing</i>
<i>you don't have busfare</i> '

35
00:01:45,952 --> 00:01:48,512
'<i>It would fall through the hole</i>
<i>in your pocket and you'd lose it</i> '

36
00:01:48,588 --> 00:01:50,283
'<i>In the snow on the ground</i> '

37
00:01:50,357 --> 00:01:53,588
' <i>You gotta walk into town</i>
<i>to flnd a job</i> '

38
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:56,527
' <i>You're trying to keep</i>
<i>your hands warm</i> '

39
00:01:56,596 --> 00:01:59,224
"<i>[Continues]</i>
Chronologically, you're <i>16</i> today.

40
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:02,325
Physically,

41
00:02:02,402 --> 00:02:06,771
you're still <i>15.</i>
[Sighs]

42
00:02:09,409 --> 00:02:12,037
Hopeless.

43
00:02:14,414 --> 00:02:18,680
Nope. I look exactly the same
as I have since summer.

44
00:02:18,752 --> 00:02:20,686
Utterly forgettable.

45
00:02:20,754 --> 00:02:23,848
No, I didn't expect
to wake up transformed.

46
00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:26,518
I just thought that turning <i>16</i>
would be so major...

47
00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:30,859
that I'd wake up
with an improved mental state
that would show on my face.

48
00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:33,866
All it shows is that I don't
have any sort of a tan left.

49
00:02:35,101 --> 00:02:37,092
[Sighs]
I better get downstairs.

50
00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:40,503
My family's probably pissed off
I haven't let them wish me
happy birthday yet.

51
00:02:40,574 --> 00:02:43,202
All right.
I'll see you at school.

52
00:02:43,276 --> 00:02:46,268
"<i>[Continues]</i>

53
00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:51,709
You need four inches of bod
and a great birthday.

54
00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:57,549
Where's my briefcase?
<i>[Mike]</i>
<i>Where'd you leave it?</i>

55
00:02:57,624 --> 00:02:59,990
Don't be a smart-ass.
Okay, I'll be
a dumb-ass.

56
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:01,994
<i>[Sara]</i>
<i>You already are.</i>

57
00:03:02,062 --> 00:03:04,155
Okay, where's Sam?
Where's
my briefcase?

58
00:03:04,231 --> 00:03:07,860
Sam?
Allow me, Brenda.
Hey, birth defect!

59
00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:10,164
<i>[Brenda]</i>
<i>You missed breakfast again.</i>

60
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:13,468
<i>[Dad]</i>
<i>It wasn't my idea to give her</i>
<i>her own phone line.</i>

61
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:15,667
<i>[Sara, Mike Arguing]</i>
<i>[Brenda]</i>
<i>Grab a doughnut.</i>

62
00:03:15,742 --> 00:03:20,008
It's small.
It's brown.
It's made of leather.

63
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,844
It has my initials on it.
And I believe... that's it.

64
00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:26,010
<i>[Car Horn Honking]</i>
Don't forget the grandparents
are coming this afternoon.

65
00:03:26,086 --> 00:03:30,523
Are we still having dinner
with the Rice Chex?
Rizczechs. 8:00 at the club.

66
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:33,024
You'd better learn their names.
As of tomorrow, they're family.

67
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:35,027
That's a lovely
thought.
Hmm.

68
00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:38,064
When it comes
your turn to get married,
do me a favor. Elope.

69
00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:40,691
Who'd marry her?
Mr. T.

70
00:03:40,767 --> 00:03:44,863
I'm sorry, you'll have to
buy lunch today. I didn't
have time to fix your carrots.

71
00:03:44,938 --> 00:03:48,066
She's only eating carrots
to increase the size
of her breasts.

72
00:03:48,141 --> 00:03:51,668
<i>Mister, you had better</i>
<i>shape up, or you will miss</i>
<i>your sister's wedding.</i>

73
00:03:51,745 --> 00:03:53,679
Promise?

74
00:03:57,284 --> 00:04:00,219
Now, don't give me
that pouty look of yours.

75
00:04:00,287 --> 00:04:02,721
You can eat your carrots
when you get home.

76
00:04:02,789 --> 00:04:06,316
That's it?
You don't have anything else
to say to me today?

77
00:04:06,393 --> 00:04:09,590
What would you like me
to say, Sam?

78
00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:12,826
Come on now, honey.
You're gonna miss the bus.

79
00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:14,833
Have a good day.

80
00:04:17,737 --> 00:04:19,671
I can't believe this.

81
00:04:19,739 --> 00:04:22,731
They fucking
forgot my birthday.

82
00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:27,743
~~

83
00:06:20,293 --> 00:06:22,955
I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.

84
00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:25,964
They just didn't
remember it right away.
Same difference.

85
00:06:26,032 --> 00:06:29,695
It's a drag
your sweet <i>16</i>'s the day
before Ginny gets married.

86
00:06:29,769 --> 00:06:32,602
But big deal.
They'll remember.
Oh, easy for you to say.

87
00:06:32,672 --> 00:06:35,436
Did anyone ever forget
your birthday?
Come on, Sam.

88
00:06:35,508 --> 00:06:39,376
Everything's getting shittier.
My family forgetting my birthday
just makes it more vivid.

89
00:06:39,446 --> 00:06:42,142
What do you expect,
a breakfast birthday party?

90
00:06:42,215 --> 00:06:46,948
No, but they could have
at least said "happy birthday."
It was just like any other day.

91
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,954
Why don't you remind them?

92
00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:51,320
They'll feel some massive guilt.
It could be highly profitable.

93
00:06:51,391 --> 00:06:53,655
I wouldn't stoop
to remind them.

94
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:56,161
Since I was about <i>1</i> 2,
I've been looking forward
to my sweet <i>16.</i>

95
00:06:56,229 --> 00:07:00,598
You know, a big party
and a band, with tons of people.
Tons of people.

96
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:04,103
And a big Trans Am
in the driveway
with a ribbon around it.

97
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:07,105
And some incredibly gorgeous
guy that you meet in France.

98
00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:09,437
And you do it on a cloud
without getting pregnant
or herpes.

99
00:07:09,509 --> 00:07:11,773
I don't need the cloud.
Just a pink Trans Am
and the guy, right?

100
00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:13,779
A black one.
A black guy?

101
00:07:13,847 --> 00:07:16,179
A black Trans Am.
A pink guy.
[Laughing]

102
00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:18,183
<i>[Bell Ringing]</i>
[Together]
Oh, no.

103
00:07:18,818 --> 00:07:20,342
<i>[Woman]</i>
' <i>To those nice, nice nights</i> '

104
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:23,412
'<i>I remember always always</i> '

105
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:26,926
'<i>I got such a fright</i> '

106
00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:29,461
'<i>Seeing them in my dark cupboard</i> '

107
00:07:29,529 --> 00:07:32,396
' <i>With my great big cake</i> '

108
00:07:32,465 --> 00:07:35,525
- '<i>lf they were me</i>
<i>If they were me</i> '
- [Yawning]

109
00:07:35,602 --> 00:07:38,662
'<i>And I was you</i>
<i>And I was you</i> '

110
00:07:38,738 --> 00:07:41,707
'<i>lf they were me</i>
<i>If they were me</i> '

111
00:07:41,775 --> 00:07:44,710
'<i>And I was you</i>
<i>And I was you</i> '

112
00:07:44,778 --> 00:07:47,406
'<i>lf they were me</i>
<i>and I was you</i> '

113
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,381
' <i>Would you have liked</i>
<i>a present too</i> '

114
00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:00,282
'<i>Happy, happy birthday</i>
<i>in a hot bath</i> '

115
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,794
' <i>To those nice, nice nights</i> '

116
00:08:02,862 --> 00:08:06,093
'<i>I remember always always</i> '

117
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:09,294
'<i>I got such a fright</i> '

118
00:08:09,369 --> 00:08:12,634
'<i>Seeing them in my dark cupboard</i> '

119
00:08:12,705 --> 00:08:15,674
' <i>With my great big cake</i> '

120
00:08:15,742 --> 00:08:18,142
'<i>lf they were me</i>
<i>If they were me</i> '

121
00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:21,874
'<i>And I was you</i>
<i>And I was you</i> '

122
00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:25,008
'<i>lf they were me</i>
<i>If they were me</i> '

123
00:08:25,084 --> 00:08:27,814
'<i>And I was you</i>
<i>And I was you</i> '

124
00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:31,914
'<i>lf they were me and I was you</i> '
[Sighing]

125
00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:34,459
' <i>Would you have liked</i>
<i>a present too</i> '

126
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,209
'<i>Happy birthday</i>
<i>Happy birthday</i> '

127
00:08:52,979 --> 00:08:56,312
'<i>Happy birthday</i>
<i>Happy birthday</i> '

128
00:08:59,185 --> 00:09:02,746
'<i>Happy birthday</i>
<i>Happy birthday</i> '

129
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:08,488
'<i>Happy birthday</i>
<i>Happy birthday</i> '
[Sighs]

130
00:09:09,729 --> 00:09:11,321
[Snoring Softly]

131
00:09:11,397 --> 00:09:15,163
'<i>Happy birthday</i>
<i>Happy birthday</i> '

132
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:21,365
'<i>Happy birthday</i>
<i>Happy birthday</i>"

133
00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:28,613
You swear to God,
you don't have it?
I don't know anything about it.

134
00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:31,616
Jennifer Woods
gave me a sex test
during child development.

135
00:09:31,684 --> 00:09:34,949
And I was supposed to
do it and pass it to you
in independent study.

136
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:38,787
[Sighing]
I'm totally screwed.
Did you put your name on it?

137
00:09:38,858 --> 00:09:41,452
Hi. No, but it was
really embarrassing.

138
00:09:41,527 --> 00:09:43,791
I had to name
who I'd do it with
if I ever did it.

139
00:09:43,863 --> 00:09:45,956
Who'd you name?

140
00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:50,298
Jake Ryan.
Jake Ryan? He doesn't
even know you exist.

141
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:52,861
Thank you. That's
a very nice thing to say.

142
00:09:52,939 --> 00:09:54,873
I'm sorry.
ButJake Ryan?

143
00:09:54,941 --> 00:09:57,637
He's a senior,
and he's taken.
I mean, really taken.

144
00:09:57,710 --> 00:10:00,474
I know. It was
supposed to be my ideal.

145
00:10:00,546 --> 00:10:04,141
He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.

146
00:10:04,217 --> 00:10:07,983
God, I hope whoever
got the note doesn't know
it was me who wrote it.

147
00:10:08,054 --> 00:10:09,988
I'd shit twice and die.

148
00:10:13,059 --> 00:10:16,324
Do you know
Samantha Baker?

149
00:10:16,396 --> 00:10:18,990
Sophomore, right?

150
00:10:19,065 --> 00:10:22,330
Yeah. What do
you think of her?

151
00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:25,337
I don't.

152
00:10:25,405 --> 00:10:28,340
Would you ever
go out with her?

153
00:10:28,408 --> 00:10:31,673
Depends on how much
you paid me.

154
00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:34,338
She's not ugly.

155
00:10:34,414 --> 00:10:36,848
There's nothin'
there, man.

156
00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:39,851
It's not ugly.
It's just... void.

157
00:10:39,919 --> 00:10:42,513
You know what I mean?
There's somethin'
about her.

158
00:10:42,588 --> 00:10:45,682
I do independent study
with her. I catch her
lookin' at me a lot.

159
00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:49,023
It's kinda cool, the way
she's always lookin' at me.

160
00:10:49,095 --> 00:10:51,359
Maybe she's retarded.

161
00:10:51,431 --> 00:10:53,365
I'm bein' serious, okay?

162
00:10:53,433 --> 00:10:56,368
She looks at me like
she's in love with me.

163
00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:58,870
Jake,
she's a child.

164
00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:02,305
So?
So what're you
gonna do with her?

165
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:05,811
She's obviously
too young
to party serious.

166
00:11:05,878 --> 00:11:09,314
Maybe I'm interested
in more than a party.

167
00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:12,317
Come on, Jake. You talk
like you're hard up.

168
00:11:12,385 --> 00:11:14,819
You got Caroline.
Now she's a <i>woman.</i>

169
00:11:17,657 --> 00:11:20,148
It's unbelievable.

170
00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:24,162
I swear to God, Caroline Mulford
had to flunk about nine grades.

171
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,425
<i>[Girl]</i>
<i>Truly makes me ill.</i>

172
00:11:26,499 --> 00:11:28,433
<i>[Samantha]</i>
<i>She's perfect.</i>

173
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:32,961
Practically
impossible to cut up.
She's supposedly real sweet.

174
00:11:33,039 --> 00:11:36,440
<i>Brother's deaf, and everybody</i>
<i>in the world worships her.</i>

175
00:11:36,509 --> 00:11:38,443
<i>[Samantha]</i>
<i>And she's going with Jake.</i>

176
00:11:38,511 --> 00:11:41,503
Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.

177
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,514
My man.

178
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:46,450
"<i>[Band Instruments</i>
<i>Practicing, Off-key]</i>

179
00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:50,188
<i>[Kids Chattering]</i>

180
00:11:58,564 --> 00:12:01,590
I loathe the bus.

181
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:04,966
[Noise Subsides]

182
00:12:05,038 --> 00:12:06,972
[Sighing]

183
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,806
There has to be a more
dignified mode of transportation.

184
00:12:10,877 --> 00:12:13,471
I hope you get a car for
your birthday, and a license.

185
00:12:13,546 --> 00:12:16,447
[Scoffs]
Let's not hold our breath.

186
00:12:16,516 --> 00:12:18,643
[Space Guns Firing]
[Both Chuckle]

187
00:12:18,718 --> 00:12:21,152
[Together]
Score... a direct hit.

188
00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:24,923
[Together]
On second thought.

189
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:31,396
"<i>[Off-key Instruments</i>
<i>Continue]</i>

190
00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:39,529
"<i>[Kazoos Playing Brahms's</i>
<i>"Hungarian Dance No. 5"]</i>

191
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:47,278
'<i>Hey</i>"

192
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,350
<i>[Driver]</i>
<i>Move it.</i>

193
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,795
Call me, okay?
You call me first.
Tell me what happened at home.

194
00:13:03,863 --> 00:13:06,457
I can tell you
right now. Nothing.

195
00:13:06,532 --> 00:13:09,933
Will you quit feeling sorry
for yourself? It's bad
for your complexion!

196
00:13:10,002 --> 00:13:12,937
"<i>["Theme from</i> Dragnet"]

197
00:13:30,556 --> 00:13:32,490
How's it goin'?

198
00:13:32,558 --> 00:13:34,492
How's what going?

199
00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:39,494
You know, things,
life, whatnot.

200
00:13:39,565 --> 00:13:42,500
Life is not whatnot,
and it's none of your business.

201
00:13:42,568 --> 00:13:46,004
<i>[Pages Ruffling]</i>

202
00:13:46,072 --> 00:13:48,506
Hmm. So you goin'
to the new faces
dance tonight, or...

203
00:13:48,574 --> 00:13:51,008
That's also none
of your business.

204
00:13:51,077 --> 00:13:53,170
[Sniffing,
Clears Throat]

205
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,841
Are you inhibited
about dancing in public?

206
00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:59,180
I mean,
you don't have to dance.

207
00:13:59,252 --> 00:14:02,949
Maybe you could just stand
there with me and my dudes
and just be you, and<i>... - </i>

208
00:14:03,022 --> 00:14:04,956
Sounds major.
[Sniffing]

209
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,953
So, I mean,
what's the story?
I mean, you got a guy, or...

210
00:14:10,029 --> 00:14:12,623
Yes, three big ones,
and they lust wimp blood.

211
00:14:12,698 --> 00:14:16,964
So quit bugging me,
or I'll sic them
all over your weenie ass.

212
00:14:17,036 --> 00:14:19,800
You know, I'm getting
input here that I'm reading
as relatively hostile.

213
00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:22,966
I mean, it's just...
Go to hell.

214
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:24,976
<i>Very</i> hostile.

215
00:14:27,213 --> 00:14:31,149
Come on,
what's the problem here?
I'm a boy, you're a girl.

216
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:36,314
Is there anything wrong with me
tryin' to put together some kind
of relationship between us?

217
00:14:36,389 --> 00:14:39,324
Look, I know you have to go.
Just answer one question.

218
00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:41,326
Yes, you're
a total fag.

219
00:14:41,394 --> 00:14:44,830
[Laughing]
That's not the question.
<i>[Brakes Squealing]</i>

220
00:14:44,897 --> 00:14:46,831
Am I turning you on?

221
00:14:52,738 --> 00:14:54,672
<i>[Door Squeaking]</i>

222
00:14:55,741 --> 00:14:57,834
[Sighing]
It's encouraging.

223
00:14:57,910 --> 00:15:00,435
Very encouraging.
Yeah, uh-huh.

224
00:15:00,513 --> 00:15:02,947
You know, a girl with a hat
is just so... Whew.

225
00:15:03,015 --> 00:15:06,280
So vogue.
Uh, y-yeah.

226
00:15:06,352 --> 00:15:08,616
[Sniffing]

227
00:15:17,463 --> 00:15:20,830
"<i>["Theme From</i>
The Twilight Zone" <i>]</i>

228
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:24,563
Where are my blue socks,
Dorothy?

229
00:15:24,637 --> 00:15:27,629
<i>You mean you didn't pack them?</i>
<i>Oh, not again, Howard.</i>

230
00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:30,301
Can't I trust you
to do anything?

231
00:15:30,376 --> 00:15:32,503
<i>Do you expect me to do</i>
<i>all the packing?</i>

232
00:15:32,578 --> 00:15:36,708
Well, at least
I brought this for you. It...

233
00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:40,548
<i>Sam.</i>
[Sighing]
Samantha.

234
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:42,815
Look.
Oh, look.

235
00:15:42,888 --> 00:15:46,585
- Hi!
- Hi!

236
00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:48,923
Oh, God.

237
00:15:48,995 --> 00:15:52,988
[Laughing]
Oh, sweetheart!

238
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:57,297
My goodness, are you
a sight for sore eyes.
[Kissing]

239
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:59,463
[Laughing]
Oh, good!

240
00:15:59,538 --> 00:16:03,406
Just look. How are you,
my little lamb chop?
Hello!

241
00:16:03,476 --> 00:16:05,410
I'm fine, Grandpa.

242
00:16:05,478 --> 00:16:08,606
- How are you guys?
<i>- Oh, pretty good. Of course,</i>
<i>I get lower back pain.</i>

243
00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:12,617
Oh, my corns are killing me.
My arthritis in my fingers
bothers me quite a bit...

244
00:16:12,685 --> 00:16:15,347
So are you, uh...
You're sleeping up here?

245
00:16:15,421 --> 00:16:17,355
Yeah.
Yeah.

246
00:16:17,423 --> 00:16:21,291
Your grandfather Fred
jumped our claim on Sara's room.
So here we are up here.

247
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,729
Well, I haven't seen you in a while.
Do I look any <i>older</i> today?

248
00:16:25,798 --> 00:16:28,096
Oh, no, no.
I wouldn't say so.
Do you think so?

249
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:30,635
<i>[Dorothy]</i>
<i>No. Oh, I hope</i>
<i>it isn't cold tomorrow.</i>

250
00:16:30,703 --> 00:16:32,364
<i>You know Ginny.</i>

251
00:16:32,438 --> 00:16:35,066
It's not gonna be cold.
She'll refuse to wear a coat
over her wedding dress.

252
00:16:35,107 --> 00:16:38,372
If she does,
you mustn't bug her...
I'm not gonna bug her...

253
00:16:38,444 --> 00:16:41,971
<i>I'm gonna go set</i>
<i>myself up in Mike's room.</i>
<i>So I'll see you guys later.</i>

254
00:16:42,048 --> 00:16:44,482
<i>- [Dorothy]</i>
<i>Okay, sweetheart.</i>
<i>- Look, there she goes.</i>

255
00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:47,747
Your grandpa and I
are looking forward to
a nice, long visit with you.

256
00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:49,754
Aces.
<i>[Howard]</i>
<i>We certainly are.</i>

257
00:16:49,822 --> 00:16:54,919
[Laughing]
See you a little later, darling.
We've got a lot to...

258
00:16:54,994 --> 00:16:59,328
[Sighing]
I swear to God,
this has got to be a joke.

259
00:16:59,398 --> 00:17:02,094
Grandparents forgetting
a birthday?

260
00:17:02,168 --> 00:17:06,070
They live for that shit.
<i>[Toilet Flushing]</i>

261
00:17:06,138 --> 00:17:08,538
~ Put my arms around you ~~

262
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:12,304
Well, well, if it isn't
Sammy Baker...

263
00:17:12,378 --> 00:17:14,972
<i>Davis, Junior.</i>
<i>[Chortling]</i>

264
00:17:15,047 --> 00:17:17,811
Hi, Grandpa.
Oh, I've got one
for ya.

265
00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:19,817
Knock, knock.
Who's there?

266
00:17:19,885 --> 00:17:21,819
Who.
Who, who?

267
00:17:21,887 --> 00:17:25,948
Helen, we've got an owl
out here in the hall.
[Chortling]

268
00:17:28,027 --> 00:17:30,791
Oh, Fred, Fred,
leave her alone.

269
00:17:30,863 --> 00:17:33,297
You'll make her
tinkle.
Oh, come on, Helen.

270
00:17:33,366 --> 00:17:36,494
Oh, Sam, let me
look at you.

271
00:17:36,569 --> 00:17:38,799
Oh.

272
00:17:38,871 --> 00:17:41,169
Fred, she's gotten
her boobies.

273
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,971
<i>[Fred Chortling]</i>
<i>I'd better go get</i>
<i>my magnifying glass.</i>

274
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:48,309
Oh, and they are
so perky!

275
00:18:00,526 --> 00:18:04,929
[Sighing]
I can't believe my grandmother
actually felt me up.

276
00:18:08,701 --> 00:18:10,635
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

277
00:18:10,703 --> 00:18:14,195
What's happenin',
hot stuff?

278
00:18:14,273 --> 00:18:17,436
His name is
Long Duk Dong.
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

279
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:20,274
What?
Long Duk Dong.

280
00:18:20,346 --> 00:18:22,940
He came down with
Grandma and Grandpa Baker.

281
00:18:23,015 --> 00:18:25,540
He's an exchange student
that's living with them.

282
00:18:25,618 --> 00:18:29,281
Yeah, well, he's totally bizarre.
He is not.

283
00:18:29,355 --> 00:18:31,949
He is a very
sweet boy.

284
00:18:32,024 --> 00:18:35,960
I just hope you burn the sheets
and mattresses after he leaves.

285
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:38,622
I don't suppose it makes
any difference to you,

286
00:18:38,697 --> 00:18:41,063
but there's
a very weird Chinese guy
up in Mike's room.

287
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:44,068
Ginny dumped Rudy.
He's her new fiancee.

288
00:18:44,136 --> 00:18:46,104
<i>[Brenda]</i>
<i>Mike, stop it.</i>

289
00:18:46,172 --> 00:18:49,938
Sam, honey,
do you think you could help
the grandmothers with supper?

290
00:18:50,009 --> 00:18:52,637
Dad and I have to go to the club
for dinner with the Rice Chex.

291
00:18:52,711 --> 00:18:55,680
Rizczechs.
Oh. Rizczechs.

292
00:18:56,048 --> 00:18:57,811
Uh, do you think
that there's any reason...

293
00:18:57,883 --> 00:19:01,080
that I should
possibly stay home tonight?

294
00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:03,246
Well, it might be nice
if you'd visit...

295
00:19:03,322 --> 00:19:05,756
with your grandparents
and Long Duk Dong.

296
00:19:05,825 --> 00:19:07,759
Who?
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

297
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:10,591
The weird Chinese guy
in Mike's room.
Oh.

298
00:19:10,663 --> 00:19:14,599
- I think I have a dance to go to.
- Well, that's okay.

299
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:18,626
Oh, can you remember
to turn off the stove in 20 minutes?

300
00:19:18,704 --> 00:19:21,195
I can remember lots of things.

301
00:19:21,273 --> 00:19:24,071
[Chuckling]

302
00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:29,611
[Sighing] This is the single
worst day of my entire life.

303
00:19:29,682 --> 00:19:31,616
What the hell
are you bitchin' about?

304
00:19:31,684 --> 00:19:34,778
I gotta sleep
under some Chinaman
named after a duck's dork.

305
00:19:34,854 --> 00:19:37,152
Well, where am I sleeping?

306
00:19:37,223 --> 00:19:39,282
Sofa City, sweetheart.

307
00:19:39,358 --> 00:19:43,727
~~ [Heavy Metal]

308
00:19:45,364 --> 00:19:48,299
Do you think Grandpa Fred's
going to embarrass me?

309
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,859
I don't know why not.
He does to everyone else.

310
00:19:51,937 --> 00:19:56,636
He already asked me if Rudy
was the oily variety bohunk.

311
00:19:56,709 --> 00:19:59,906
<i>Is he?</i>
Don't be cute.

312
00:20:01,213 --> 00:20:03,613
<i>I really love Rudy.</i>

313
00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:06,651
And he is totally
enamored of me.

314
00:20:08,587 --> 00:20:11,488
I mean, I've had men
who've loved me before,

315
00:20:11,557 --> 00:20:15,152
but not for six months
<i>in a row.</i>

316
00:20:15,227 --> 00:20:17,286
I think I'm in love.

317
00:20:17,363 --> 00:20:20,264
<i>So how long have you been</i>
<i>in love, hmm?</i>

318
00:20:20,332 --> 00:20:23,267
Well, it hasn't
really happened yet.

319
00:20:23,335 --> 00:20:26,168
So what's the deal?

320
00:20:27,673 --> 00:20:30,938
I'm not sure
that he knows I exist.

321
00:20:32,244 --> 00:20:35,441
Sam, I really don't
have time for this.

322
00:20:35,514 --> 00:20:38,005
[Sighing]
Well, I'm sorry.

323
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:41,075
I always listen to you talk
about your boyfriends.

324
00:20:41,153 --> 00:20:44,179
Darling, is something
bothering you?

325
00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:51,863
You're really acting like...
an asshole.

326
00:20:52,932 --> 00:20:55,662
And I think
I know what it is.

327
00:20:55,734 --> 00:20:58,362
I think you're jealous
that I'm getting married...

328
00:20:58,437 --> 00:21:01,964
and that I'm getting
all the attention, hmm?

329
00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:04,475
[Sighing]
You know, everybody
in this family...

330
00:21:04,543 --> 00:21:06,977
has just gone
totally <i>Outer Limits.</i>

331
00:21:07,046 --> 00:21:08,980
No, Sam.

332
00:21:09,048 --> 00:21:12,984
I think you're just being
a little selfish and immature.

333
00:21:14,386 --> 00:21:17,321
[Sighing]
Oh, yes. That's it.

334
00:21:17,389 --> 00:21:19,323
That's exactly it.

335
00:21:20,993 --> 00:21:23,427
[Laughing]
Unbelievable.

336
00:21:23,495 --> 00:21:26,828
You make someone a bridesmaid,
and they shit all over you.

337
00:21:26,899 --> 00:21:28,833
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

338
00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:38,476
Very clever dinner.

339
00:21:38,544 --> 00:21:44,005
Appetizing food fit neatly
into interesting round pie.

340
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:47,519
- It's a quiche.
- Hmm. How do you spell?

341
00:21:47,586 --> 00:21:50,885
<i>Well, you don't spell it, son.</i>
<i>You eat it. [Guffawing]</i>

342
00:21:52,558 --> 00:21:55,493
Dong has only been in
our country a short time, Fred.

343
00:21:55,561 --> 00:21:59,429
- I think we could all
help him assimilate.
- [Chortling] Oh.

344
00:21:59,498 --> 00:22:02,558
<i>[Dorothy]</i>
<i>Long Duk Dong is</i>
<i>about your age, Sam.</i>

345
00:22:02,635 --> 00:22:04,762
<i>You two should have</i>
<i>a lot to chat about.</i>

346
00:22:04,837 --> 00:22:09,035
I love, uh, visiting
with Grandma and Grandpa...

347
00:22:09,108 --> 00:22:11,508
<i>and writing letters</i>
<i>to parents...</i>

348
00:22:11,577 --> 00:22:13,943
and pushing
lawn-mowing machine...

349
00:22:14,013 --> 00:22:17,972
so Grandpa's hyena
don't get disturbed.

350
00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:20,985
- Hernia!
<i>- [Fred Chortling]</i>

351
00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:23,453
<i>Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeedy.</i>

352
00:22:23,522 --> 00:22:27,458
He does the dishes
and helps with the laundry.
You betcha.

353
00:22:27,526 --> 00:22:31,724
<i>[All Chuckling]</i>
May I be excused?

354
00:22:31,797 --> 00:22:34,630
Where are you going?

355
00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:37,692
I have a dance to go to...
at school.

356
00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:40,364
It's a very important dance.

357
00:22:40,439 --> 00:22:43,374
Uh, we're being graded on it...
for gym.

358
00:22:43,442 --> 00:22:47,310
<i>Wait a minute.</i>
<i>I have a wonderful idea.</i>

359
00:22:47,379 --> 00:22:51,110
Would you like to go
to the dance with Sam?

360
00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:53,947
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

361
00:22:54,586 --> 00:22:56,952
~~

362
00:23:05,197 --> 00:23:08,132
[Arguing, Indistinct]

363
00:23:14,873 --> 00:23:16,807
I wonder ifJake's here.

364
00:23:16,875 --> 00:23:20,140
I don't think it's healthy
to get jacked about some guy
that isn't a thing yet.

365
00:23:20,212 --> 00:23:23,477
Yeah, when you don't have
anything, you don't have
anything to lose, right?

366
00:23:23,549 --> 00:23:25,483
That's a cheerful thought.

367
00:23:25,551 --> 00:23:27,644
Let's go make
ourselves available.

368
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,655
"<i>["Peter Gunn"]</i>

369
00:23:42,401 --> 00:23:44,995
<i>[Kids Chattering]</i>

370
00:23:45,070 --> 00:23:47,834
<i>That's the one, dude.</i>
<i>Scope it out.</i>

371
00:23:47,906 --> 00:23:50,636
She doesn't look
like a freshman.
Sophomore, dude. Sophomore.

372
00:23:50,709 --> 00:23:53,143
<i>Fully aged sophomore meat.</i>

373
00:23:53,212 --> 00:23:56,511
<i>[Sonar Pinging]</i>

374
00:23:56,582 --> 00:23:58,846
We do the bus
together.
You <i>talk</i> to her?

375
00:23:58,917 --> 00:24:01,442
Talk? Dude, I have
a relationship with her.
Get out.

376
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,114
Figure to, like,
<i>1</i> 7 digits.

377
00:24:04,189 --> 00:24:06,123
You are such a liar.

378
00:24:06,191 --> 00:24:08,625
We'll see about that,
my man.

379
00:24:08,694 --> 00:24:13,131
By night's end, I predict
me and her will interface.

380
00:24:13,198 --> 00:24:16,133
"<i>[Slow, Romantic]</i>

381
00:24:18,137 --> 00:24:21,664
'<i>Ahh</i> '

382
00:24:27,179 --> 00:24:31,172
'<i>Ahh</i> '

383
00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:33,912
'<i>I know this</i> '

384
00:24:33,986 --> 00:24:37,080
'<i>Much is true</i> '

385
00:24:37,156 --> 00:24:40,353
'<i>Ahh</i> '

386
00:24:40,425 --> 00:24:43,986
'<i>I know this...</i>"
Check it out,
Wease.

387
00:24:46,532 --> 00:24:49,660
Pretty intense, huh?
Over.
To the max. Over.

388
00:25:01,446 --> 00:25:06,076
- [Gasping]
- All right.

389
00:25:06,151 --> 00:25:08,085
"<i>[New Wave Rock]</i>
I knew you'd come around.

390
00:25:08,153 --> 00:25:10,917
Whoa.
Christ.

391
00:25:12,524 --> 00:25:15,118
Crank that, sister!
~ Whoa ~

392
00:25:23,368 --> 00:25:25,302
Very hot. Very hot.

393
00:25:25,370 --> 00:25:27,304
This night... This night
is happenin'.

394
00:25:27,372 --> 00:25:29,306
~ Whoa, whoa, whoa ~~

395
00:25:33,178 --> 00:25:35,112
I'm blowing your mind,
aren't I?

396
00:25:37,716 --> 00:25:40,150
I'm just getting warmed up.
[Growls]

397
00:25:48,126 --> 00:25:50,060
[Loud Flatulent Noise]

398
00:25:54,333 --> 00:25:56,767
Ow. Excuse me.

399
00:26:08,013 --> 00:26:10,777
"<i>[Continues In Distance]</i>

400
00:26:18,557 --> 00:26:20,491
[Cheering]

401
00:26:29,534 --> 00:26:32,469
Way to go, dick-face.
She took off.

402
00:26:32,537 --> 00:26:36,132
Don't spaz out. Okay, Wease?
The situation'll come on-line.

403
00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:39,974
Yeah? I'll bet you
a dozen floppy disks
you don't even get tit.

404
00:26:40,045 --> 00:26:42,809
You got a bet, scumbag.
I'll get it all.

405
00:26:42,881 --> 00:26:46,317
Take off.
You wouldn't be able
to prove it anyway.

406
00:26:46,385 --> 00:26:48,319
"A," don't hit me.

407
00:26:48,387 --> 00:26:51,481
Secondly, what kind
of proof do you want?

408
00:26:51,556 --> 00:26:53,490
Video.
Video.

409
00:26:53,558 --> 00:26:56,083
No way. I can just see
the thing getting duped
a thousand times...

410
00:26:56,161 --> 00:26:58,721
and winding up on cable
somewhere.

411
00:26:58,797 --> 00:27:00,765
Try again.

412
00:27:00,832 --> 00:27:02,766
Underpants.
Underpants.

413
00:27:05,003 --> 00:27:06,937
No problem,
butt-lick.

414
00:27:15,380 --> 00:27:18,008
[Together]
<i>Girls'</i> underpants.
' <i>One, two</i> '

415
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:21,246
'<i>And your girlfriend</i>
<i>sweet little</i> 1 <i>7</i> '
[Gasping]

416
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,187
'<i>She's got her layered hair</i>
<i>and her flaredjeans</i> '

417
00:27:24,256 --> 00:27:27,191
' <i>You know what that means</i>
<i>She's just a little queen</i> '

418
00:27:27,259 --> 00:27:29,727
'<i>She shares your London flat</i> '

419
00:27:29,795 --> 00:27:32,730
'<i>She thinks that London's</i>
<i>where it's at</i> '

420
00:27:32,798 --> 00:27:35,596
'<i>Although it stinks and when it rains</i>
<i>you wear your hat</i> '

421
00:27:35,667 --> 00:27:39,467
'<i>And your plum-colored PVC</i>
<i>wet-look maxi mac</i> '

422
00:27:39,538 --> 00:27:42,166
' <i>You tie your ginger hair</i>
<i>back in a bun</i> '
[Nose Blowing]

423
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,971
' <i>You're the ugliest creature</i>
<i>under the sun</i> '

424
00:27:46,044 --> 00:27:48,638
"<i>[Continues]</i>

425
00:27:48,714 --> 00:27:50,682
So what's your name?

426
00:27:50,749 --> 00:27:52,683
Dong.

427
00:27:52,751 --> 00:27:54,810
What's your first name?

428
00:27:54,886 --> 00:27:57,650
Long.

429
00:27:57,723 --> 00:27:59,987
What's your middle name?

430
00:28:00,058 --> 00:28:01,992
Duk.

431
00:28:03,662 --> 00:28:07,564
I bet all the boys chase you
plenty in the school, huh?

432
00:28:07,632 --> 00:28:09,600
Nobody's caught me yet.

433
00:28:09,668 --> 00:28:11,932
Hmm. I betcha you big teaser, huh?

434
00:28:12,004 --> 00:28:15,667
[Laughing]
No. I run the 40
in five flat.

435
00:28:16,742 --> 00:28:18,676
Flat?

436
00:28:22,047 --> 00:28:24,607
Hey.
Oh, I'm really sorry, man.

437
00:28:24,683 --> 00:28:27,447
Whatever I did was an accid...
l-l-I didn't mean to...

438
00:28:27,519 --> 00:28:29,453
Relax.

439
00:28:34,526 --> 00:28:38,292
You... You were dancin'
with a girl?

440
00:28:38,363 --> 00:28:41,298
Oh, man, I'm really...
I'm really sorry, man.

441
00:28:41,366 --> 00:28:44,802
I must've been on drugs
five minutes ago.
Do you know her?

442
00:28:44,870 --> 00:28:48,306
She grabbed me, guy.
I'm totally innocent.
Is she yours?

443
00:28:48,373 --> 00:28:50,807
"<i>[Ends]</i>
What do you know
about her?

444
00:28:50,876 --> 00:28:54,312
"<i>[Begins]</i>
She has smallish tits.
Decent voice.

445
00:28:54,379 --> 00:28:57,314
Smells pretty good.
She drives me crazy.

446
00:28:57,382 --> 00:28:59,316
Did she come here
with you?

447
00:28:59,384 --> 00:29:03,411
No, no.
But if it's okay with my dad,
she's goin' home with me.

448
00:29:04,489 --> 00:29:06,423
Excuse me.

449
00:29:12,330 --> 00:29:16,130
<i>[Girls Giggling]</i>

450
00:29:16,201 --> 00:29:18,135
[Girl <i>#1</i>]
Do you guys want
to blow off this dance?

451
00:29:18,203 --> 00:29:21,263
- [Caroline] Yes.
- [Girl <i>#1</i>] I am bored
to the brink of insanity.

452
00:29:21,339 --> 00:29:24,775
<i>- [Girl #2] And go where?</i>
- Jake's parent's aren't home.
We can do his house.

453
00:29:24,843 --> 00:29:28,279
- How's it goin'?
- Fine.

454
00:29:28,346 --> 00:29:31,440
<i>[Caroline]</i>
<i>Let's party light. Jake's paranoid</i>
<i>about his house getting trashed.</i>

455
00:29:31,516 --> 00:29:33,746
<i>[Girl #</i>1 <i>]</i>
<i>Again.</i>

456
00:29:33,819 --> 00:29:37,550
' <i>One single moment</i>
<i>The hours I spend</i> '

457
00:29:37,622 --> 00:29:42,286
"<i>[Continues, Indistinct]</i>

458
00:29:50,035 --> 00:29:51,969
[Thud]
Oof.

459
00:30:03,215 --> 00:30:05,149
Okay.

460
00:30:06,218 --> 00:30:08,152
All right.

461
00:30:12,057 --> 00:30:14,992
Just tryin' to get
a little bit of water.

462
00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:17,028
Yeah.

463
00:30:17,095 --> 00:30:20,030
~~

464
00:30:21,399 --> 00:30:23,833
Yes, I'm back.

465
00:30:23,902 --> 00:30:25,836
So I smell.

466
00:30:25,904 --> 00:30:27,929
It's my shaving cream.

467
00:30:28,006 --> 00:30:31,498
You wanna feel
a real clean, close shave?
I'll pass.

468
00:30:31,576 --> 00:30:34,272
Couldn't find
anyone else to bug, huh?

469
00:30:34,346 --> 00:30:37,076
Come on.
You know you're the one
I want to bug, huh?

470
00:30:37,149 --> 00:30:40,846
This is my friend, Randy.
And that's Jimmy Montrose.

471
00:30:40,919 --> 00:30:42,853
Howdy, dude.
This is Farmer Fred.

472
00:30:42,921 --> 00:30:45,856
Ted.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is Farmer Ted.

473
00:30:45,924 --> 00:30:48,051
I'm not really a farmer.
I'm a freshman.

474
00:30:48,126 --> 00:30:50,253
Geek, can I be
honest with you?

475
00:30:50,328 --> 00:30:53,126
Not if you're gonna
insult me.

476
00:30:53,198 --> 00:30:55,223
Okay.
[All Laughing]

477
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:57,234
Shoot.

478
00:30:57,302 --> 00:31:02,137
- Get the hell outta here.
- Nice! Nice manners, babe!

479
00:31:02,207 --> 00:31:04,368
She's totally serious,
ass-wipe.

480
00:31:04,442 --> 00:31:06,876
Chill.

481
00:31:11,783 --> 00:31:14,718
You wanna split
with me? L...

482
00:31:16,121 --> 00:31:18,988
I don't know.
You know, my mom,
I can't handle this.

483
00:31:19,057 --> 00:31:21,321
She tells me, "You want somethin',
you gotta ask for it."

484
00:31:21,393 --> 00:31:23,327
I mean, I'm not
the kinda guy...

485
00:31:23,395 --> 00:31:27,331
It's embarrassing for me.
I don't know. I just...

486
00:31:27,399 --> 00:31:29,333
It's just...

487
00:31:31,903 --> 00:31:33,962
[Chuckles]

488
00:31:36,908 --> 00:31:39,843
<i>[Footsteps Approaching]</i>

489
00:31:51,723 --> 00:31:54,658
[Crashing, Rattling]

490
00:31:56,728 --> 00:32:00,789
<i>[Rattling Continues]</i>

491
00:32:15,213 --> 00:32:18,307
I'm really sorry
about what happened
in the gym.

492
00:32:18,383 --> 00:32:21,318
L-I had no idea
you couldn't dance.

493
00:32:25,690 --> 00:32:27,817
<i>[Metal Clattering]</i>

494
00:32:47,579 --> 00:32:50,844
What a decent
night, huh?
It's my birthday.

495
00:32:53,685 --> 00:32:56,677
[Imitating Guitar]
~ You say it's your birthday ~

496
00:32:56,755 --> 00:32:58,689
~ It's my birthday too ~~

497
00:32:58,757 --> 00:33:00,884
~~ [Imitating Guitar]
Don't do that, okay?

498
00:33:03,194 --> 00:33:06,630
~ Hey, Jude ~~
Just stop it, okay?

499
00:33:06,698 --> 00:33:09,360
I mean, it's really been
a shitty birthday for me.

500
00:33:09,434 --> 00:33:13,131
No offense, but I don't need
a serenade right how.

501
00:33:13,204 --> 00:33:15,468
What's wrong? You didn't
get anything good, or...

502
00:33:15,540 --> 00:33:18,304
I didn't get shit.
Not even a "happy birthday."

503
00:33:18,376 --> 00:33:21,402
My whole family
just sort of blew it off.

504
00:33:23,715 --> 00:33:26,878
I'd freak if my family
forgot my birthday.
It's a brand-new year.

505
00:33:26,951 --> 00:33:29,385
I'm <i>16.</i> Everything
should be platinum.

506
00:33:29,454 --> 00:33:32,321
I should be happy, right? Right?
Yeah.

507
00:33:32,390 --> 00:33:34,324
Well, I can't get happy.

508
00:33:34,392 --> 00:33:37,418
It is physically impossible
for me to get happy.

509
00:33:40,165 --> 00:33:43,100
Would you feel better if you
knew one of my secrets, or...

510
00:33:43,168 --> 00:33:45,602
Don't gross me out.

511
00:33:45,670 --> 00:33:48,104
No, we're not talking
gross here.

512
00:33:48,173 --> 00:33:51,108
No. It's...
It's just embarrassing.

513
00:33:55,814 --> 00:33:59,682
[Exhaling] This information
cannot leave this room, okay?

514
00:33:59,751 --> 00:34:02,811
It would devastate
my reputation as a dude.

515
00:34:02,887 --> 00:34:04,821
No problem.

516
00:34:07,225 --> 00:34:09,887
[Clears Throat]

517
00:34:09,961 --> 00:34:11,895
I've never bagged a babe.

518
00:34:14,966 --> 00:34:16,900
I'm not a stud.

519
00:34:16,968 --> 00:34:20,802
[Giggling]

520
00:34:20,872 --> 00:34:23,306
I got the rep
in sixth grade.

521
00:34:23,375 --> 00:34:25,468
And it, like,
it stuck with me.

522
00:34:25,543 --> 00:34:27,477
I'm still on hold.

523
00:34:29,714 --> 00:34:32,979
Look, I'd appreciate
you not laughing here, okay?
[Laughing]

524
00:34:33,051 --> 00:34:34,985
I'm sorry.

525
00:34:36,054 --> 00:34:37,988
That's not what I meant.

526
00:34:40,558 --> 00:34:42,492
I meant...

527
00:34:44,062 --> 00:34:47,498
Hey, time out,
junior.
[Horn Honking]

528
00:34:47,565 --> 00:34:49,499
[Exhales]

529
00:34:49,567 --> 00:34:51,501
Pardon me.

530
00:34:56,241 --> 00:34:58,175
It's okay.

531
00:35:02,013 --> 00:35:04,607
I meant that it's okay
that you did it once,

532
00:35:04,682 --> 00:35:08,277
but I didn't mean
for you to do it again!

533
00:35:08,353 --> 00:35:10,617
I'm sorry.

534
00:35:10,688 --> 00:35:12,622
[Sighing]
Sorry.

535
00:35:15,193 --> 00:35:18,287
You know,
just now I really felt
how much you like me.

536
00:35:19,697 --> 00:35:23,690
You're probably zoning in
on my brain waves or something.

537
00:35:23,768 --> 00:35:26,703
Well, not really.
I felt it on my leg.

538
00:35:27,772 --> 00:35:31,230
Come on.
I don't want to see it!

539
00:35:33,144 --> 00:35:35,078
Oh.

540
00:35:35,146 --> 00:35:37,910
Sorry if I embarrassed you.

541
00:35:37,982 --> 00:35:39,916
I'm not embarrassed.

542
00:35:39,984 --> 00:35:42,919
Fresh breath's a priority in my life.

543
00:35:45,557 --> 00:35:47,491
I don't want
to hurt your feelings,

544
00:35:47,559 --> 00:35:51,017
'cause it's really human of you
to listen to my bullshit.

545
00:35:51,095 --> 00:35:54,326
I care about it, really.
I mean...

546
00:35:54,399 --> 00:35:58,836
I know I came on kinda like
a poozer on the bus tonight
and everything.

547
00:35:58,903 --> 00:36:02,168
But that's just so
my friends won't think,
you know, I'm a jerk.

548
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:04,674
But they're all pretty much
jerks, though, aren't they?

549
00:36:04,742 --> 00:36:09,941
Yeah, but the thing is,
I'm kinda like the leader.

550
00:36:10,014 --> 00:36:12,244
Kinda like the king
of the dipshits.

551
00:36:12,317 --> 00:36:16,276
Well, that's pretty cool.
Hey, but a lot can happen
over a year.

552
00:36:16,354 --> 00:36:19,585
I mean, you could
come back next fall
as a completely normal person.

553
00:36:19,657 --> 00:36:22,592
Yeah?
Sure.

554
00:36:27,131 --> 00:36:30,066
Would it be totally
off the wall if...

555
00:36:31,202 --> 00:36:33,466
if I asked if I could
have sex with you?

556
00:36:36,708 --> 00:36:39,768
Yeah, well, you askin' me is not
as off the wall as why I won't.

557
00:36:39,844 --> 00:36:43,644
- V.D.?
- [Laughing] No.

558
00:36:43,715 --> 00:36:47,151
I'm sorta saving myself.

559
00:36:47,218 --> 00:36:50,915
It's really stupid.
He doesn't even know I exist.

560
00:36:50,989 --> 00:36:52,980
Who?

561
00:36:53,057 --> 00:36:54,991
Who?

562
00:36:56,060 --> 00:36:58,324
Jake Ryan.

563
00:36:58,396 --> 00:37:00,330
You likeJake?

564
00:37:00,398 --> 00:37:02,628
Ja...
Jake's my boy!

565
00:37:02,700 --> 00:37:04,930
I just talked toJake
in the gym.

566
00:37:05,003 --> 00:37:06,937
He asked me
about you.
Did not!

567
00:37:07,005 --> 00:37:10,270
He did too. He did!
He asked me what you were like.

568
00:37:10,341 --> 00:37:14,744
Oh, my... Oh! If you're lying,
I'll beat the crap outta you.
I'm not lying.

569
00:37:14,812 --> 00:37:18,441
Oh, my God!
What should I do?
Should I go up to him?

570
00:37:18,516 --> 00:37:21,610
Should I say, "Hi, Jake,
I'm Samantha"? Maybe
I should let him come to me.

571
00:37:21,686 --> 00:37:25,952
This is not my department.
But what if I let him
come to me, and he forgets?

572
00:37:26,024 --> 00:37:29,289
What if he changes
his mind? Then I'm
totally screwed, right?

573
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,624
Apparently so.
[Sighing]

574
00:37:31,696 --> 00:37:34,324
What would you do
if you were me?

575
00:37:35,700 --> 00:37:37,634
I'm a gamblin' man
by nature.

576
00:37:37,702 --> 00:37:40,967
And, um,
I'd go for it.

577
00:37:41,039 --> 00:37:44,668
This is so strange.
But I think I will.
Oh, you're the best.

578
00:37:47,879 --> 00:37:50,814
- Wait, um...
- What?

579
00:37:50,882 --> 00:37:52,850
Do you know anything
about floppy disks?

580
00:37:52,917 --> 00:37:57,877
We'll talk about this
on the bus, okay?
<i>The thing is, I got a problem.</i>

581
00:37:57,956 --> 00:38:00,254
Floppy disks
are pretty expensive.

582
00:38:00,325 --> 00:38:03,726
I made a bet
with my friends,
the... the dipshits.

583
00:38:03,795 --> 00:38:06,229
<i>Um,</i>

584
00:38:06,297 --> 00:38:08,731
I bet them
that I'd do it with you.

585
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,201
This was before I knew you. I can
get proof without getting physical.

586
00:38:12,270 --> 00:38:14,830
How?

587
00:38:16,074 --> 00:38:19,009
Can I borrow your underpants
for ten minutes?

588
00:38:19,077 --> 00:38:21,136
'<i>Hope you're feelin'</i>'

589
00:38:21,212 --> 00:38:25,376
' <i>Time</i> '

590
00:38:25,450 --> 00:38:27,384
"<i>[Continues]</i>

591
00:38:30,021 --> 00:38:33,616
I think it's time to blow this
thing off and go to your house.
Yeah?

592
00:38:33,691 --> 00:38:36,626
I told Tracy and Robin
and those guys to come
to your parents' house, okay?

593
00:38:36,694 --> 00:38:38,787
I told 'em
not to tell anybody.

594
00:38:38,863 --> 00:38:41,627
God, I love it when
your parents are out of town,

595
00:38:41,699 --> 00:38:43,633
I fantasize
that I'm your wife,

596
00:38:43,701 --> 00:38:46,932
and we're the richest,
most popular adults in town.

597
00:38:47,005 --> 00:38:49,530
I owe all my great weekends
to you.

598
00:38:51,376 --> 00:38:54,004
What's your problem?
What?

599
00:38:54,078 --> 00:38:57,844
You've been acting
weird all night.
Are you screwing around?

600
00:38:57,915 --> 00:39:00,315
Me? Are you crazy?

601
00:39:00,385 --> 00:39:02,580
I don't know, Jake.

602
00:39:02,654 --> 00:39:05,589
I'm getting strange signals.
Well, they're
not comin' from me.

603
00:39:05,657 --> 00:39:08,251
Everything's fine.
Don't have a cow.

604
00:39:08,326 --> 00:39:10,260
Okay.

605
00:39:10,328 --> 00:39:12,592
Just remember one thing.

606
00:39:12,664 --> 00:39:15,929
I can name 20 guys
who'd kill to love me.

607
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,299
Is that a threat?
It's a fact,
Jake.

608
00:39:19,370 --> 00:39:23,932
Come on. Before we get
in a big, wicked fight,
let's get outta here, huh?

609
00:39:27,845 --> 00:39:30,939
Hi, Jake. I'm Samantha.
How's it goin'?

610
00:39:34,018 --> 00:39:35,952
Do you got a cigarette?

611
00:39:39,190 --> 00:39:41,624
Jake, this may sound
incredibly dumb,

612
00:39:41,693 --> 00:39:44,628
but I love you,
and I'll do anything
to make you love me.

613
00:39:46,531 --> 00:39:48,465
I love your shirt.

614
00:39:52,036 --> 00:39:54,470
Jake, you're not
gonna believe this,

615
00:39:54,539 --> 00:39:57,975
but I had this
very bizarre dream,
and you were in it.

616
00:40:01,646 --> 00:40:05,047
<i>[Man]</i>
<i>For heaven's sake.</i>
<i>Get in there and dance.</i>

617
00:40:05,116 --> 00:40:07,983
I can't.
They won't like me!
I'm not gonna tell you again!

618
00:40:08,052 --> 00:40:11,021
Just act like a man!
<i>I wanna go home.</i>
<i>I wanna be with you guys.</i>

619
00:40:11,089 --> 00:40:14,024
~~

620
00:40:24,469 --> 00:40:28,667
<i>[Woman]</i>
' <i>You-ou are my desire</i> '

621
00:40:30,108 --> 00:40:33,942
' <i>You... You are my desire</i> '

622
00:40:35,980 --> 00:40:39,882
' <i>You-ou are my desire</i> '

623
00:40:40,952 --> 00:40:45,855
' <i>Oh, baby, you, you, you</i>
<i>you are my desire</i> '

624
00:40:47,692 --> 00:40:51,560
' <i>Got to flnd you</i>
<i>Know you're out there</i> '

625
00:40:51,629 --> 00:40:55,360
[Sighing]
I can't believe I'm such a jerk.

626
00:40:55,433 --> 00:40:58,368
"<i>[Continues]</i>
He smiles at me,
and I don't say anything.

627
00:40:59,937 --> 00:41:03,373
And I can't believe
I gave my panties to a geek.

628
00:41:07,378 --> 00:41:09,642
What year are you?
Freshman.

629
00:41:09,714 --> 00:41:11,648
Gimme a buck.

630
00:41:11,716 --> 00:41:13,650
Get in.

631
00:41:16,254 --> 00:41:19,189
[All Chattering]

632
00:41:26,063 --> 00:41:27,997
Shut up!
[Chatter Stops]

633
00:41:29,066 --> 00:41:31,000
Bryce?

634
00:41:31,068 --> 00:41:34,367
Ted,
go for it.

635
00:41:40,344 --> 00:41:43,279
[All Gasping]

636
00:41:43,347 --> 00:41:45,281
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

637
00:41:45,349 --> 00:41:48,284
[Tires Screeching]

638
00:41:53,124 --> 00:41:56,184
Hey, uh, listen, uh,

639
00:41:56,260 --> 00:41:59,525
I wanna thank you for,
uh, loanin' me the Donger.

640
00:41:59,597 --> 00:42:03,089
<i>[Car Horns Honking]</i>

641
00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:05,101
He's really bitchin'.
[Coughs]

642
00:42:05,169 --> 00:42:08,536
That's okay.
You guys make a great couple.

643
00:42:10,708 --> 00:42:15,145
I never been so happy
in my whole life.
You maniac!

644
00:42:15,213 --> 00:42:17,147
<i>[Both Giggling]</i>

645
00:42:17,215 --> 00:42:20,878
Now I have a place
to put my hand.
Mmm.

646
00:42:20,952 --> 00:42:25,389
So basically, Jimmy,
my business is
video game arcades,

647
00:42:25,456 --> 00:42:29,324
<i>laundry,</i>
<i>cigarette machines...</i>
[Belching]

648
00:42:29,393 --> 00:42:31,486
<i>And trucking.</i>

649
00:42:31,562 --> 00:42:35,464
<i>I dabble a little bit</i>
<i>in personal loans and politics.</i>

650
00:42:35,533 --> 00:42:40,163
"<i>["Love Theme</i>
<i>From</i> The Godfather" <i>]</i>

651
00:42:40,238 --> 00:42:43,173
Very nice.

652
00:42:43,241 --> 00:42:47,735
I think that all
that really matters is that
the kids are happy together.

653
00:42:47,812 --> 00:42:50,679
Just as long as
my beautiful boy remembers...

654
00:42:50,748 --> 00:42:53,979
that marrying this one
means he's out of the
girl of the month club.

655
00:42:54,051 --> 00:42:57,316
- Hey, wait a minute.
I can still look.
<i>- [Laughing, Snorting]</i>

656
00:42:57,388 --> 00:43:00,619
I just can't touch.
Right?

657
00:43:00,691 --> 00:43:02,682
Oh, sensitive, uh?
[Laughing]
Rudy!

658
00:43:05,162 --> 00:43:08,290
- Cheers.
- Right on.
[Slurps]

659
00:43:10,735 --> 00:43:12,794
Ahh! You do shots?

660
00:43:12,870 --> 00:43:14,804
<i>Come on, wolf it.</i>

661
00:43:18,442 --> 00:43:22,970
Whoo!
[Laughing]

662
00:43:24,715 --> 00:43:27,115
[Brakes Squealing]

663
00:43:30,721 --> 00:43:34,122
Uh, good night, Marlene.
See you later, Dong.

664
00:43:34,191 --> 00:43:37,718
Sammy, tell Grandpa
not to wait up.
Let's go boogie.

665
00:43:37,795 --> 00:43:40,958
- Sure.
- [Tires Screeching]

666
00:43:41,032 --> 00:43:44,331
Donger's here for five hours,
and he's got somebody.

667
00:43:44,402 --> 00:43:47,337
I live here my whole life,
and I'm like a disease.

668
00:43:47,405 --> 00:43:50,272
[Sighing]
<i>[Tires Screeching]</i>

669
00:43:51,509 --> 00:43:54,307
"<i>[Rock]</i>

670
00:44:07,658 --> 00:44:10,923
- ' <i>We're hangin'out</i>
<i>in Vinnie's car</i> '
- [Chattering]

671
00:44:10,995 --> 00:44:13,725
' <i>We like</i>
<i>the really loud guitar</i> '

672
00:44:13,798 --> 00:44:16,528
'<i>Don't ever seem</i>
<i>to get too far</i> '

673
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,467
'<i>Spend all our money</i>
<i>in a bar</i> '

674
00:44:19,537 --> 00:44:22,472
[Chattering, Shouting]
"<i>[Continues]</i>

675
00:44:32,783 --> 00:44:34,717
[Slurred Voice]
Everybody,

676
00:44:34,785 --> 00:44:37,481
I'd like you to meet
my boyfriend Jake.

677
00:44:37,555 --> 00:44:40,649
Jake, this is... everybody.

678
00:44:40,725 --> 00:44:42,659
<i>[Man]</i>
<i>Take it off.</i>

679
00:44:43,728 --> 00:44:46,822
All right, whose is this?

680
00:44:46,897 --> 00:44:48,956
You're such a poop.

681
00:44:49,033 --> 00:44:51,968
"<i>[Continues]</i>

682
00:44:57,742 --> 00:44:59,903
[Brakes Squealing]
[People Screaming]

683
00:44:59,977 --> 00:45:03,879
<i>[Crashing]</i>

684
00:45:03,948 --> 00:45:06,883
<i>[Metal Clattering]</i>

685
00:45:22,066 --> 00:45:24,694
'<i>FarmerJohn</i> '
Woof.

686
00:45:24,769 --> 00:45:27,067
'<i>I'm in love</i>
<i>with your daughter</i> '

687
00:45:27,138 --> 00:45:30,039
"<i>[Continues]</i>

688
00:45:30,107 --> 00:45:34,043
[Girl Panting]
Oh, no.
Easy, easy, easy.

689
00:45:34,111 --> 00:45:37,046
"<i>[Loud Rock]</i>
<i>[Kids Chattering, Laughing]</i>

690
00:45:47,658 --> 00:45:50,149
[Headgear Beeping]
Shit, Ted, that's my mom.
I gotta get home.

691
00:45:50,227 --> 00:45:52,525
Change your frequency.
Don't be such a wimp!

692
00:45:54,598 --> 00:45:57,533
<i>[People Laughing,</i>
<i>Chattering Loudly]</i>

693
00:45:59,103 --> 00:46:02,971
Take those ridiculous things
off, okay?

694
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:04,974
Will you guys grow up?

695
00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:09,308
Ted, won't we get
pounded if we go
to a senior party?

696
00:46:09,380 --> 00:46:12,941
Wease, we got <i>$</i>70,
and we got a pair
of girl's underpants.

697
00:46:13,017 --> 00:46:15,315
We're safe as kittens.
Okay?

698
00:46:15,386 --> 00:46:18,082
This is a great social
opportunity for us.

699
00:46:18,155 --> 00:46:20,089
Come on!

700
00:46:31,168 --> 00:46:34,660
Do not embarrass me,
okay?
For sure, we won't.

701
00:46:34,738 --> 00:46:37,036
Will you fix your hair,
Bryce?
I already did.

702
00:46:38,342 --> 00:46:40,503
Wease, close your barn,
all right?

703
00:46:41,612 --> 00:46:44,513
[Zipping]

704
00:46:44,582 --> 00:46:47,016
And be polite
to his parents.
Okay. Great.

705
00:46:47,084 --> 00:46:49,018
[Exhales]

706
00:46:50,221 --> 00:46:52,212
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

707
00:46:52,289 --> 00:46:57,090
Hey, come on in and
party hearty, dude persons.
[Hiccups]

708
00:46:57,161 --> 00:47:01,325
<i>[Laughing Crazily]</i>

709
00:47:01,398 --> 00:47:04,367
He's from out of town,
okay? He speaks English,
right?

710
00:47:04,435 --> 00:47:06,528
Don't be such faggots!
Man, shut up.

711
00:47:06,604 --> 00:47:10,040
Kidding. Sorry.
<i>[Dong Continues Laughing]</i>

712
00:47:10,107 --> 00:47:12,041
Think we're gonna die?

713
00:47:12,109 --> 00:47:14,043
Definitely.

714
00:47:18,616 --> 00:47:20,550
[Tones Beeping]

715
00:47:23,354 --> 00:47:25,288
[Ringing]

716
00:47:30,861 --> 00:47:33,955
[Ringing Continues]
Did you put the cat out?

717
00:47:34,031 --> 00:47:35,965
We don't have a cat.

718
00:47:36,033 --> 00:47:38,092
Come on, damn it.
Answer.

719
00:47:44,475 --> 00:47:46,841
Mmm.
[Sighs]

720
00:47:48,212 --> 00:47:50,874
Aw, eat me.

721
00:47:50,948 --> 00:47:53,644
[Click, Dial Tone]
Who is it?

722
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,054
Well, what
did they want?

723
00:47:59,890 --> 00:48:01,858
Sex.

724
00:48:01,926 --> 00:48:04,554
"<i>[Loud Rock]</i>

725
00:48:04,628 --> 00:48:06,562
<i>[Kids Chattering]</i>

726
00:48:06,630 --> 00:48:08,598
[Girl]
Whoo.

727
00:48:08,666 --> 00:48:10,600
[Gasps]
Geek!

728
00:48:22,713 --> 00:48:26,672
Very nice!
We're five minutes in...

729
00:48:26,750 --> 00:48:28,684
I'm at a loss.

730
00:48:31,222 --> 00:48:34,919
Real smooth, Cliff.

731
00:48:34,992 --> 00:48:37,927
[Growling]

732
00:48:40,064 --> 00:48:43,158
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>
Ooh.

733
00:48:44,235 --> 00:48:46,260
I've never been out
with a boy before.

734
00:48:46,337 --> 00:48:48,271
Oh, me neither.

735
00:48:48,672 --> 00:48:50,902
[Ringing]
[Grunts]

736
00:48:56,180 --> 00:48:58,114
<i>[Caroline]</i>
<i>Jake?</i>

737
00:49:00,084 --> 00:49:02,609
Where are you, Jake?

738
00:49:02,686 --> 00:49:05,951
Jakey, have you
stopped loving me?

739
00:49:08,959 --> 00:49:10,893
Leave me alone.

740
00:49:21,972 --> 00:49:26,773
What? I'm sorry,
I don't do that.

741
00:49:26,844 --> 00:49:28,971
Yes, you do.
I know.

742
00:49:29,046 --> 00:49:32,846
Come on.
<i>[Caroline]</i>
<i>Trace. You guys.</i>

743
00:49:32,916 --> 00:49:34,907
[Giggling]
<i>Would you help me,</i>
<i>please?</i>

744
00:49:34,985 --> 00:49:38,250
Oh, shit!
<i>Come on, you guys.</i>
<i>I'm your prom queen.</i>

745
00:49:38,322 --> 00:49:41,450
[Laughing]
Trace, you guys,
I'm serious.

746
00:49:41,525 --> 00:49:43,459
Come on. I need help.

747
00:49:43,527 --> 00:49:46,496
Okay.
I need help too.

748
00:49:46,563 --> 00:49:49,896
What is the problem?
Several things.

749
00:49:51,702 --> 00:49:53,636
[Giggling]

750
00:49:54,738 --> 00:49:58,401
Okay. We'll help you.
[Mumbling]

751
00:49:58,475 --> 00:50:01,774
Don't go away,
Caroline, baby.

752
00:50:04,581 --> 00:50:06,708
[Rings]

753
00:50:06,784 --> 00:50:10,015
Hello?
Hello?

754
00:50:10,087 --> 00:50:13,352
Listen, I know
you're there. I can
hear you breathing.

755
00:50:17,628 --> 00:50:19,562
Yes, hello, sir. Um...

756
00:50:19,630 --> 00:50:22,190
Are you the little bugger
that's been calling up...

757
00:50:22,266 --> 00:50:24,200
and then hanging up?

758
00:50:24,268 --> 00:50:27,931
Would it be possible
to tell me if there
is a Samantha Baker there?

759
00:50:28,005 --> 00:50:30,303
And if so, sir, may I
converse with her briefly?

760
00:50:30,374 --> 00:50:34,276
Yes, it is.
And no, you may not.

761
00:50:34,345 --> 00:50:36,813
Might I leave a message, sir?

762
00:50:38,882 --> 00:50:41,874
He wants to leave
a message for Sam.

763
00:50:41,952 --> 00:50:44,045
Here, give me that phone.

764
00:50:45,122 --> 00:50:47,613
Now, you listen to me,
mister.

765
00:50:47,691 --> 00:50:51,354
God did not put me
on this earth to be awakened
by filthy suggestions...

766
00:50:51,428 --> 00:50:54,488
from a foul-mouthed hooligan
like you.

767
00:50:54,565 --> 00:50:57,728
And as for our granddaughter,
I'm sure she has more
than enough sense...

768
00:50:57,801 --> 00:50:59,860
to stay clear of the likes
of you!

769
00:50:59,937 --> 00:51:02,064
Now, good night
and good-bye!

770
00:51:02,139 --> 00:51:04,073
[Dial Tone Humming]

771
00:51:07,211 --> 00:51:09,179
That was great.
[Sighs]

772
00:51:09,246 --> 00:51:13,512
Sam's lucky she has us,
Howard.
Yeah.

773
00:51:13,584 --> 00:51:17,020
Even if she doesn't
appreciate us.

774
00:51:18,422 --> 00:51:22,051
Do you promise you
won't get mad?
No, I love you.

775
00:51:22,126 --> 00:51:24,492
[Laughing]
Okay,
close your eyes.

776
00:51:25,662 --> 00:51:28,563
Scalpel.
Scalpel.

777
00:51:31,602 --> 00:51:33,536
[Moans]

778
00:51:36,874 --> 00:51:39,604
Oooh!
My God.

779
00:51:42,746 --> 00:51:45,271
<i>[Kids Clapping]</i>
<i>[Robin]</i>
<i>That was wonderful.</i>

780
00:51:47,084 --> 00:51:49,552
I don't know how
to thank you enough.

781
00:51:49,620 --> 00:51:51,554
My pleasure.

782
00:51:53,724 --> 00:51:57,626
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>
[Dong Yelping]

783
00:52:05,302 --> 00:52:08,533
<i>[Guy]</i>
<i>My God.</i>
Wow.

784
00:52:08,605 --> 00:52:11,438
<i>I hope they have insurance.</i>
<i>The party's over.</i>

785
00:52:36,834 --> 00:52:38,768
<i>[Cans Clattering]</i>

786
00:52:46,677 --> 00:52:49,612
[Tape Squeaking,
Record Skipping]

787
00:53:02,092 --> 00:53:04,151
[Mouthing Words]

788
00:53:14,671 --> 00:53:16,605
What a disaster.

789
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:30,812
[Breathing Heavily]

790
00:53:30,888 --> 00:53:32,822
<i>[Muffled Moaning]</i>

791
00:53:41,064 --> 00:53:44,795
[Grunting]
Jake!

792
00:53:46,570 --> 00:53:49,038
<i>Sam.</i>

793
00:53:49,106 --> 00:53:51,040
<i>Sweetheart?</i>

794
00:53:52,109 --> 00:53:56,341
Daddy?
Hi, kiddo.

795
00:53:56,413 --> 00:53:59,849
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Everything's fine.

796
00:54:00,984 --> 00:54:03,282
I was just upstairs,
and I couldn't sleep.

797
00:54:06,256 --> 00:54:09,692
I feel like a real jerk,
honey.

798
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,694
We forgot your birthday.

799
00:54:15,566 --> 00:54:18,399
<i>I bet you're really</i>
<i>P.O. 'd, huh?</i>

800
00:54:18,468 --> 00:54:22,905
No, it's okay.
I'm not really all
that upset anymore.

801
00:54:24,441 --> 00:54:28,571
This wedding is really turning
this entire house inside out.

802
00:54:28,645 --> 00:54:32,240
And I just came down to tell you
that we did remember.

803
00:54:33,317 --> 00:54:35,148
Thanks, Dad.

804
00:54:37,054 --> 00:54:38,988
Happy birthday.

805
00:54:46,463 --> 00:54:49,227
[Sighs]

806
00:54:49,299 --> 00:54:51,893
<i>Is something else wrong?</i>

807
00:54:51,969 --> 00:54:53,903
No, why?

808
00:54:53,971 --> 00:54:56,997
I don't know, I just get
the feeling that something's
bothering you.

809
00:54:57,074 --> 00:55:00,009
Something other than
your birthday.

810
00:55:00,077 --> 00:55:03,046
No, I'm fine. Really.

811
00:55:08,085 --> 00:55:10,246
I think I know what it is.

812
00:55:12,956 --> 00:55:14,947
It has to do
with a certain guy?

813
00:55:21,798 --> 00:55:24,130
I know, honey.
I know.

814
00:55:28,105 --> 00:55:31,666
We're all upset
that Ginny's
marrying a bohunk.

815
00:55:36,980 --> 00:55:40,211
What's the matter?
[Sighs]

816
00:55:40,283 --> 00:55:42,376
I meantJake.

817
00:55:42,452 --> 00:55:44,420
Jake?
[Sighs]

818
00:55:44,488 --> 00:55:48,049
Wait a minute. I thought
she said his name was Rudy.
Forget it.

819
00:55:48,125 --> 00:55:50,650
Forget what?
Who's Jake?

820
00:55:52,696 --> 00:55:54,789
He's a boy, Daddy. It's nothing.

821
00:55:54,865 --> 00:55:57,299
Okay? Just forget it, please.

822
00:55:57,367 --> 00:55:59,426
Come on, Sam.
We're not communicating.

823
00:55:59,503 --> 00:56:04,065
[Sighs]
It's extremely
embarrassing, okay?

824
00:56:04,141 --> 00:56:06,166
What's embarrassing?

825
00:56:06,243 --> 00:56:09,906
Sitting in the dark
with your dad, telling him
about your love life.

826
00:56:11,481 --> 00:56:13,847
I'm afraid you lost me
again, Sam.

827
00:56:16,620 --> 00:56:20,454
Jake is a senior,
and he's beautiful
and perfect.

828
00:56:20,524 --> 00:56:23,254
I like him a real lot,
and he doesn't like me.
Okay?

829
00:56:23,326 --> 00:56:25,226
Oh.

830
00:56:26,463 --> 00:56:28,454
And he's got this
incredible girlfriend.

831
00:56:28,532 --> 00:56:31,626
I'm just this ridiculous dork
that's following him around
like a puppy.

832
00:56:31,702 --> 00:56:34,170
Why do you think
you're a dork?

833
00:56:34,237 --> 00:56:37,695
I don't think you're a dork.
I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork.

834
00:56:37,774 --> 00:56:40,299
- Mike thinks I'm a dork.
- Mike <i>is</i> a dork.

835
00:56:40,377 --> 00:56:43,505
[Sighs]
But so am I.

836
00:56:43,580 --> 00:56:47,346
<i>Well, if it's any consolation,</i>
<i>I love you.</i>

837
00:56:47,417 --> 00:56:52,286
And if this guy can't see in you
all the beautiful and wonderful
things that I see,

838
00:56:52,355 --> 00:56:54,789
<i>then he's got the problem.</i>

839
00:56:54,858 --> 00:56:56,826
I know. It just hurts.

840
00:56:58,261 --> 00:57:00,957
That's why they call them crushes.

841
00:57:01,031 --> 00:57:04,228
If they were easy,
they'd call 'em something else.

842
00:57:04,301 --> 00:57:06,701
[Sighs]
But if I were Ginny,

843
00:57:06,770 --> 00:57:09,432
I'd have this guy
crawling on his knees.

844
00:57:09,506 --> 00:57:12,270
Well, let me tell you something
about Ginny.

845
00:57:12,342 --> 00:57:16,210
Now, I love her
as much as I love you.
But she's a different person.

846
00:57:16,279 --> 00:57:19,612
Sometimes I worry about her.

847
00:57:19,683 --> 00:57:22,015
When you're given things
kind of easily,

848
00:57:22,085 --> 00:57:24,553
you don't always
appreciate them.

849
00:57:24,621 --> 00:57:27,249
With you, I'm not worried.

850
00:57:27,324 --> 00:57:31,727
When it happens to you,
Samantha, it'll be forever.

851
00:57:36,299 --> 00:57:41,430
Well, I don't think
I'll be able to sleep if I don't feel
this little talk has helped you.

852
00:57:41,505 --> 00:57:44,531
So would you be a sport
and lie to me?
[Chuckles]

853
00:57:44,608 --> 00:57:46,872
Yeah, sure, Daddy.

854
00:57:46,943 --> 00:57:49,571
[Kiss]
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night.

855
00:57:55,986 --> 00:57:58,011
Oh, one more thing,
sweetheart.

856
00:57:58,088 --> 00:58:00,352
What?

857
00:58:00,423 --> 00:58:03,915
When you do find the right guy,
don't let him boss you around.

858
00:58:05,562 --> 00:58:09,328
<i>Make sure he knows</i>
<i>you wear the pants</i>
<i>in the family.</i>

859
00:58:13,203 --> 00:58:15,763
These are really hers?
Yeah.

860
00:58:15,839 --> 00:58:18,034
How did you get 'em?

861
00:58:18,108 --> 00:58:20,303
She gave 'em to me.

862
00:58:20,377 --> 00:58:23,437
Did you...
No! No, Jake.

863
00:58:23,513 --> 00:58:25,447
She's crying for you.

864
00:58:25,515 --> 00:58:28,143
I told her you asked
about her. Right?
The girl freaked.

865
00:58:28,218 --> 00:58:32,484
She had a hissy. She thinks
you're the cat's meow.
Really?

866
00:58:32,556 --> 00:58:35,024
Yeah.
She came up to me
in the gym tonight.

867
00:58:35,091 --> 00:58:37,821
She looked at me
like I was a leper.

868
00:58:37,894 --> 00:58:39,828
Girls'll do that, Jake.

869
00:58:39,896 --> 00:58:42,626
You see, they know guys are,
like, in perpetual heat, right?

870
00:58:42,699 --> 00:58:45,827
They know this shit.
And they enjoy pumping us up.

871
00:58:45,902 --> 00:58:48,393
It's pure power politics,
I'm tellin' you.

872
00:58:48,471 --> 00:58:50,496
I thought she hated
my guts.

873
00:58:50,574 --> 00:58:54,066
Games, Jake.
Silly, torturous games.

874
00:58:54,144 --> 00:58:57,807
You know how many times a week
I go without lunch because some
bitch borrows my lunch money?

875
00:58:57,881 --> 00:59:01,009
Any halfway decent girl
can rob me blind!

876
00:59:01,084 --> 00:59:03,518
Because I'm too torqued up
to say no.

877
00:59:03,587 --> 00:59:05,885
It's heinous,
I'm telling you.

878
00:59:05,956 --> 00:59:07,981
You better not be
dickin' me around.

879
00:59:08,058 --> 00:59:09,992
It'd be a major downer
to try and get together...

880
00:59:10,060 --> 00:59:13,029
and find out she really does
think I'm a slime.

881
00:59:13,096 --> 00:59:15,394
Jake, would I dick you?

882
00:59:15,465 --> 00:59:17,490
Let me put it to you this way.

883
00:59:17,567 --> 00:59:19,501
What happens to me
if I dick you?

884
00:59:19,569 --> 00:59:21,969
[Chuckles]
I'd kick your ass.

885
00:59:22,038 --> 00:59:24,268
Right. So why would I lie?

886
00:59:24,341 --> 00:59:27,538
<i>But I feel compelled</i>
<i>to mention, Jake,</i>

887
00:59:27,611 --> 00:59:30,546
<i>if all you want is a piece</i>
<i>of ass, I mean,</i>

888
00:59:30,614 --> 00:59:34,277
I'll either do it myself,
or get someone bigger than me,

889
00:59:34,351 --> 00:59:36,683
to kick your ass.

890
00:59:36,753 --> 00:59:41,053
I mean, not many girls in contemporary
American society today...

891
00:59:41,124 --> 00:59:44,218
would give their underwear
to help a geek like me.

892
00:59:44,294 --> 00:59:47,229
I can get a piece of ass
anytime I want.

893
00:59:47,297 --> 00:59:50,994
Shit, I got Caroline
in my bedroom right now,
passed out cold.

894
00:59:51,067 --> 00:59:54,559
I could violate her
ten different ways
if I wanted to.

895
00:59:54,638 --> 00:59:57,573
What are you
waiting for?
I don't know.

896
00:59:57,641 --> 01:00:00,769
She's beautiful,
and she's built
and all that.

897
01:00:00,844 --> 01:00:03,836
[Sighs]
I'm just not
interested anymore.

898
01:00:03,914 --> 01:00:06,940
Does that really matter, guy?
Yeah, it matters.

899
01:00:07,017 --> 01:00:10,418
She's totally insensitive.
Look what she did
to my house.

900
01:00:11,688 --> 01:00:13,713
She doesn't know shit
about love.

901
01:00:13,790 --> 01:00:16,054
Only thing she cares
about is partying.

902
01:00:16,126 --> 01:00:18,560
I want a serious girlfriend.

903
01:00:18,628 --> 01:00:21,222
Somebody I can love,
that's gonna love me back.

904
01:00:23,566 --> 01:00:26,399
Is that psycho?
[Spits]

905
01:00:27,604 --> 01:00:29,538
That's beautiful, Jake.

906
01:00:29,606 --> 01:00:32,473
I think a ton of guys
feel the same way as you do.
Really?

907
01:00:32,542 --> 01:00:35,306
Yeah. It's just they don't...
They don't have the balls
to admit it.

908
01:00:35,378 --> 01:00:37,938
You know? They're just...
They're wimps.

909
01:00:39,249 --> 01:00:41,717
Samantha's, uh...
She's really special,
you know?

910
01:00:41,785 --> 01:00:43,753
I'll make a deal with you.

911
01:00:43,820 --> 01:00:48,382
Let me keep these. I'll
let you take Caroline home.

912
01:00:48,458 --> 01:00:51,859
But you gotta make sure she
gets home. You can't leave her
in some parking lot somewhere.

913
01:00:51,928 --> 01:00:54,419
Okay?

914
01:00:54,497 --> 01:00:56,431
Jake, I'm only a freshman.

915
01:00:56,499 --> 01:00:59,832
So? She's so blitzed, she
won't know the difference.

916
01:00:59,903 --> 01:01:03,134
Jake, I don't have a car.
You can take mine.

917
01:01:03,206 --> 01:01:07,438
Jake, I don't have a license.
I trust you.

918
01:01:11,614 --> 01:01:15,380
Jake, I'd love to.
I can't. Want a pretzel?

919
01:01:15,452 --> 01:01:18,421
You sure?
Positive.

920
01:01:20,623 --> 01:01:23,956
[Grunts]

921
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,334
I got her.
You got her?

922
01:01:32,402 --> 01:01:34,336
Yeah.

923
01:01:44,381 --> 01:01:47,043
Is this, uh, your car,
Jake?
No, this is my dad's car.

924
01:01:47,117 --> 01:01:49,813
You said you couldn't
drive a stick.

925
01:01:49,886 --> 01:01:52,377
This is a mother...

926
01:01:52,455 --> 01:01:54,685
This is a Rolls-Royce,
Jake.

927
01:01:54,758 --> 01:01:57,556
So?
So! So.

928
01:01:57,627 --> 01:02:00,460
I heard the grill alone
cost five grand on this.

929
01:02:00,530 --> 01:02:04,159
Five grand!
I don't have five grand.

930
01:02:04,234 --> 01:02:06,634
Then don't hit anything.
Ahh, don't
hit anything.

931
01:02:06,703 --> 01:02:08,694
Do you want to do this
or not?

932
01:02:08,772 --> 01:02:10,706
No.

933
01:02:10,774 --> 01:02:13,607
[Snoring]

934
01:02:13,676 --> 01:02:16,975
<i>Who the hell?</i>
<i>Who does he...</i>

935
01:02:27,357 --> 01:02:29,882
[Groans]

936
01:02:38,134 --> 01:02:40,967
Mm-hmm. Mmm.

937
01:02:43,106 --> 01:02:46,837
Who's he?
That's me.

938
01:02:53,249 --> 01:02:55,809
Who are you?
I'm him.

939
01:03:01,157 --> 01:03:03,523
Oh.

940
01:03:03,593 --> 01:03:05,527
Okay.

941
01:03:05,595 --> 01:03:07,654
[Chuckles]
She's totally gone.
Have fun.

942
01:03:07,730 --> 01:03:10,221
Thanks.

943
01:03:10,300 --> 01:03:12,234
[Engine Starts]

944
01:03:15,338 --> 01:03:18,899
Jake, is your dad
a big man, or...
About <i>6</i>'4".

945
01:03:18,975 --> 01:03:20,909
Very nice.

946
01:03:23,713 --> 01:03:25,647
Ho.
[Brakes Screech]

947
01:03:25,715 --> 01:03:28,240
Ohh.
Oh.

948
01:03:31,187 --> 01:03:33,621
Ho.
[Brakes Screech]

949
01:03:33,690 --> 01:03:37,490
Easy.
Easy.

950
01:03:39,829 --> 01:03:42,389
~~

951
01:03:42,465 --> 01:03:44,399
[Screech]

952
01:03:46,002 --> 01:03:47,936
[Screech]

953
01:03:55,545 --> 01:03:58,343
<i>[Man]</i>
'<i>Hey, sucker</i> '

954
01:03:58,414 --> 01:04:01,577
<i>[Female Singers]</i>
' <i>What the hell's got into you</i> '

955
01:04:01,651 --> 01:04:03,915
<i>[Dong Laughing]</i>

956
01:04:03,987 --> 01:04:05,978
'<i>Hey, sucker</i>"

957
01:04:07,657 --> 01:04:10,285
<i>[Snorting]</i>

958
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,920
Oh, sexy girlfriend.

959
01:04:14,831 --> 01:04:17,493
Banzai!
[Grunts]

960
01:04:25,808 --> 01:04:29,835
<i>[Cans Clatter]</i>

961
01:04:52,435 --> 01:04:54,369
<i>[Can Clatters]</i>

962
01:04:55,438 --> 01:04:57,372
<i>[Doors Slam]</i>

963
01:05:02,312 --> 01:05:04,280
Think they liked us?
Definitely.

964
01:05:04,347 --> 01:05:06,611
"<i>[Rock]</i>
Whoo!
Go, darling geek!

965
01:05:06,683 --> 01:05:08,844
Uh, could we turn
that music down?
I'm a first-time driver.

966
01:05:08,918 --> 01:05:10,852
I need to concentrate.
[Horn Honks]

967
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,787
Excuse me!
Stop that.

968
01:05:13,856 --> 01:05:16,689
[Laughing]
Looks like rain.
Better put the top up!

969
01:05:16,759 --> 01:05:19,785
Will you stop that?
You can get us in a lot
of trouble doin' that!

970
01:05:19,862 --> 01:05:23,059
This is a car!
[Brakes Squeal]

971
01:05:23,132 --> 01:05:26,033
It hasn't got
Triple A on it.

972
01:05:26,102 --> 01:05:30,368
Chugalug, Pooh bear.
[Laughing]

973
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,431
I can't believe
you're so popular,
acting like this.

974
01:05:32,508 --> 01:05:34,772
<i>[Bottle Crashing]</i>
<i>[Phone Ringing]</i>

975
01:05:34,844 --> 01:05:38,439
Relax!
Hello?

976
01:05:38,514 --> 01:05:40,675
Oh, uh, I don't know.
I'll have to look.

977
01:05:40,750 --> 01:05:45,312
Mr. Ryan, are you in here?
He's not... Mr. Ryan's
not in right now.

978
01:05:45,388 --> 01:05:47,913
My Christmas present
to you!

979
01:05:47,991 --> 01:05:51,483
Thank you.
No. Really.
Serious.

980
01:05:51,561 --> 01:05:55,088
See? See?
"<i>[Continues]</i>

981
01:05:55,164 --> 01:05:57,997
Thank you.
[Laughing]

982
01:05:58,067 --> 01:06:00,831
Now we're both
on the pill!

983
01:06:00,903 --> 01:06:02,837
[Spitting]

984
01:06:06,676 --> 01:06:08,769
You gave me a
birth control pill?

985
01:06:08,845 --> 01:06:10,836
You have any idea
what that'll do
to a guy my age?

986
01:06:10,913 --> 01:06:13,507
I know exactly what it'll do
to a girl my age.

987
01:06:13,583 --> 01:06:16,017
"Just climb in the car!"
Shit.

988
01:06:16,085 --> 01:06:19,919
It makes it okay to be
super careless.
Wait, wait!

989
01:06:19,989 --> 01:06:23,857
[Horn Honking]

990
01:06:23,926 --> 01:06:26,622
Ha-ha!

991
01:06:26,696 --> 01:06:30,063
Look, we're not going
any further until you
stop these childish antics.

992
01:06:30,133 --> 01:06:32,465
Don't be such a poop.

993
01:06:32,535 --> 01:06:35,299
Huh. On second thought.

994
01:06:35,371 --> 01:06:37,305
I love you.

995
01:06:41,944 --> 01:06:44,276
This is getting good.

996
01:06:44,347 --> 01:06:48,010
"<i>["Peter Gunn"]</i>

997
01:07:02,765 --> 01:07:05,256
<i>[Crash]</i>

998
01:07:05,335 --> 01:07:07,269
<i>[Dog Barking]</i>

999
01:07:08,371 --> 01:07:10,305
Ted, what the hell
are you doing?

1000
01:07:10,373 --> 01:07:12,307
Are those humongous jocks
back?

1001
01:07:12,375 --> 01:07:14,309
[Headgear Beeping]

1002
01:07:14,377 --> 01:07:18,336
Do you have any film
in your camera?
What?

1003
01:07:18,414 --> 01:07:21,247
Take those ridiculous
things off.
[Beeping Stops]

1004
01:07:21,317 --> 01:07:24,684
Do you have any film
in your camera?
Sure.

1005
01:07:24,754 --> 01:07:28,246
Okay. Go get it
and bring it outside.
Okay? Right out front.

1006
01:07:28,324 --> 01:07:32,317
What for?
Look, just get it
and come on out front, okay?

1007
01:07:32,395 --> 01:07:34,863
U.F.O.?
It's better.

1008
01:07:34,931 --> 01:07:39,334
Extraterrestrial?
It's better! All right?
Just get it and come outside.

1009
01:07:39,402 --> 01:07:41,336
[Together]
Female extraterrestrial?

1010
01:07:42,638 --> 01:07:44,629
It's better than...
Shh!

1011
01:07:44,707 --> 01:07:47,198
Better than female
extraterrestrial?

1012
01:07:47,276 --> 01:07:50,245
How do you tell
if it's a female?
'Cause it's got tits.

1013
01:07:50,313 --> 01:07:52,440
What makes 'em different
than regular tits?

1014
01:07:52,515 --> 01:07:57,043
They got four.
Just get the camera.
It's in the closet.

1015
01:07:57,120 --> 01:08:00,988
- Don't go in the closet.
<i>- [Crash]</i>

1016
01:08:01,057 --> 01:08:02,991
<i>[Dog Barking]</i>

1017
01:08:03,059 --> 01:08:04,993
Such assholes.
I can't believe it.

1018
01:08:07,397 --> 01:08:10,161
You should check that out.
Why do you always
have to argue?

1019
01:08:10,233 --> 01:08:13,725
I'm not arguing. I am not!
I am not!
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

1020
01:08:13,803 --> 01:08:17,204
Every time I do something,
bitch, bitch, bitch.
Bitch is a female dog.

1021
01:08:17,273 --> 01:08:21,334
I am not even.
What's that supposed
to mean?

1022
01:08:21,411 --> 01:08:23,436
Shit!
Shoot!

1023
01:08:40,730 --> 01:08:43,290
Ted, that's
a Rolls-Royce.

1024
01:08:43,366 --> 01:08:47,427
Ted, that's the prom queen.
You got two girls
in one night.

1025
01:08:47,503 --> 01:08:50,495
I told you dudes
I was hot.
Hot? You're a legend!

1026
01:08:50,573 --> 01:08:54,907
Will you shut up?
People around here work,
all right?

1027
01:08:54,977 --> 01:08:57,343
Will you hurry it up?
I'm breaking, like,
30 major laws here.

1028
01:08:57,413 --> 01:09:01,747
You know, Ted,
nobody's gonna
believe you.

1029
01:09:01,818 --> 01:09:04,844
No way.

1030
01:09:04,921 --> 01:09:09,756
That, my friends,
is what the pictures
are for. Okay?

1031
01:09:23,406 --> 01:09:25,340
Just get that thing
there.

1032
01:09:25,408 --> 01:09:29,401
- Are you guys ready?
- Wait, hold on.

1033
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:32,880
<i>Put it down just a bit.</i>
You guys know what
you're doing here?

1034
01:09:32,949 --> 01:09:35,383
All right,
just a minute.

1035
01:09:35,451 --> 01:09:37,885
How's this look?
<i>Very nice.</i>

1036
01:09:37,954 --> 01:09:42,653
Wait, black and white. It would
capture the moment so nicely.
Oooh.

1037
01:09:42,725 --> 01:09:45,421
Will you take
the picture already?

1038
01:09:45,495 --> 01:09:48,328
You're pissin' me off,
I'm tellin' ya.

1039
01:09:50,867 --> 01:09:54,667
Smile, pumpkin.
What?
Oh! Pictures!

1040
01:09:54,737 --> 01:09:56,796
Cheers!

1041
01:10:21,163 --> 01:10:22,391
"<i>["Wedding March, "</i>
<i>Wagner]</i>

1042
01:10:26,602 --> 01:10:30,902
[Sniffing]
[Laughing]

1043
01:10:31,974 --> 01:10:34,909
Marlene! Ohh!

1044
01:10:34,977 --> 01:10:36,911
Chill out, boy.

1045
01:10:36,979 --> 01:10:38,970
Mike, honey.
Go get dressed.

1046
01:10:39,048 --> 01:10:42,381
I can't believe it.
Ginny's not in the shower.

1047
01:10:42,451 --> 01:10:46,251
I wouldn't go in there.
Grandpa Fred was in there
for a half an hour.

1048
01:10:46,322 --> 01:10:48,916
It's totally polluted.
Get dressed.

1049
01:10:48,991 --> 01:10:50,925
It's your nose.

1050
01:10:54,630 --> 01:10:56,564
They never listen.

1051
01:10:56,632 --> 01:11:01,001
What was he wearing?
Well, he would have...

1052
01:11:01,070 --> 01:11:05,837
He was wearing a red argyle
sweater and tan trousers.

1053
01:11:05,908 --> 01:11:08,172
Mmm. And red shoes.

1054
01:11:08,244 --> 01:11:11,407
Hmm?
No, he's not retarded.

1055
01:11:11,480 --> 01:11:15,746
Now, what can I do to help?
Well, you could finish
the French toast.

1056
01:11:15,818 --> 01:11:18,548
Good.

1057
01:11:18,621 --> 01:11:21,317
I'll, uh... I'll just open
the doughnuts.

1058
01:11:21,390 --> 01:11:25,759
Good thinking.
Oops. Don't wanna
lose the nails.

1059
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:36,030
I'll just wait till I
hear from you, then.
Voila. Breakfast is ready.

1060
01:11:38,140 --> 01:11:40,438
Oh, Sam.

1061
01:11:40,509 --> 01:11:44,036
Sam, I am so sorry
about your birthday.

1062
01:11:44,113 --> 01:11:47,776
It's okay.
I'll recover.

1063
01:11:47,850 --> 01:11:51,115
It's important to you.

1064
01:11:51,187 --> 01:11:55,851
And yesterday morning,
you were trying to tell me.

1065
01:11:55,925 --> 01:11:58,257
It's okay, Mom.
[Sniffling]

1066
01:11:58,327 --> 01:12:00,352
These things
sometimes happen.

1067
01:12:00,429 --> 01:12:03,990
Oh, honey, I just
feel miserable.

1068
01:12:04,066 --> 01:12:05,966
You'll feel better.

1069
01:12:06,035 --> 01:12:08,367
Who died?

1070
01:12:08,437 --> 01:12:11,031
Uh...

1071
01:12:11,107 --> 01:12:14,076
Is there something
you want to say to your sister?

1072
01:12:14,143 --> 01:12:17,806
What? Are you kidding?
Where should I start?

1073
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:19,814
I mean about her birthday.

1074
01:12:19,882 --> 01:12:22,874
It was yesterday.
We all forgot.

1075
01:12:22,952 --> 01:12:26,012
[Laughing]
Classic.

1076
01:12:32,828 --> 01:12:35,023
Deep down,
he's really sorry.

1077
01:12:39,101 --> 01:12:42,070
[Together]
No, he's not.

1078
01:12:42,138 --> 01:12:45,232
I have to go to this
wedding and look like
Miss Pretty Princess...

1079
01:12:45,307 --> 01:12:47,241
in this dipshit's
bridesmaid's dress.

1080
01:12:47,309 --> 01:12:50,870
I don't have one-tenth
of the bod to fill
the stupid bust up.

1081
01:12:50,946 --> 01:12:53,574
So what?
Should I just waste myself
and spare the agony?

1082
01:12:53,649 --> 01:12:57,608
I was gonna tell you something,
but maybe I shouldn't.
It's pretty bad.

1083
01:12:57,687 --> 01:13:00,588
You may as well.
Nothing could shock me
anymore.

1084
01:13:00,656 --> 01:13:03,124
[Exhales]
Last night at the dance,

1085
01:13:03,192 --> 01:13:05,626
my little brother paid a buck
to see your underwear.

1086
01:13:05,695 --> 01:13:08,493
[Screams]

1087
01:13:08,564 --> 01:13:12,591
Geez! I hate that
rock 'n' roll rubbish!

1088
01:13:12,668 --> 01:13:14,761
Well, I'm afraid it's
here to stay, Howie.

1089
01:13:14,837 --> 01:13:18,102
"<i>[Rock]</i>

1090
01:13:20,076 --> 01:13:23,045
Sam, you're dragging
your dress, honey. Pick it up.

1091
01:13:23,112 --> 01:13:27,412
Come on, Ginny.
Hurry up, Susie.
Why is she so slow?

1092
01:13:27,483 --> 01:13:30,213
Do not fuss at your sister.
It's her wedding day.
Big deal.

1093
01:13:30,286 --> 01:13:35,087
All right, is everybody in? Oh, dear.
Are you all right, Ginny?

1094
01:13:41,831 --> 01:13:45,323
[Indistinct Chattering]
Come on, everybody.

1095
01:13:47,002 --> 01:13:50,165
Get in the car, please.
We're late already.

1096
01:13:53,008 --> 01:13:55,806
[All Chattering At Once]

1097
01:13:58,547 --> 01:14:03,211
Helen, will you get in the car?
I don't know what
they're fussing about.

1098
01:14:03,285 --> 01:14:05,276
Helen, get in the car!

1099
01:14:05,354 --> 01:14:08,983
[Chattering Continues]

1100
01:14:15,765 --> 01:14:19,701
[Fred]
Hey, Howard, there's
your Chinaman.

1101
01:14:19,769 --> 01:14:23,330
[Howard]
Thanks, Fred.
Bye, Dong.

1102
01:14:23,405 --> 01:14:26,067
What the...
What's he doin'
on the ground there?

1103
01:14:26,142 --> 01:14:28,372
[Helen]
What happened?

1104
01:14:28,444 --> 01:14:32,437
Hold a mirror
in front of his mouth.
Howard! He's dead!

1105
01:14:32,515 --> 01:14:35,484
Aw, shit.
I pay seven grand for a wedding,
I'll never see it!

1106
01:14:35,551 --> 01:14:38,850
Oh, watch your language,
Mr. Dirty Mouth.

1107
01:14:40,089 --> 01:14:43,718
Oh, thank God,
he is still warm.
Oh, good.

1108
01:14:43,793 --> 01:14:46,284
Here, l-I'll help you.
Roll him over.

1109
01:14:46,362 --> 01:14:49,092
<i>[Everyone Groans]</i>

1110
01:14:49,165 --> 01:14:51,861
Ugh.
[Gagging]
Canine cologne.

1111
01:14:51,934 --> 01:14:55,199
Oh, no more yankee
my wankee.

1112
01:14:55,271 --> 01:14:58,900
The Donger need food!
[Laughing]

1113
01:14:58,974 --> 01:15:02,774
[Laughing]
Hell, he's three sheets to the wind!

1114
01:15:02,845 --> 01:15:06,975
He's drunk
as a skunk!
Shut up, Fred. Shut up.

1115
01:15:07,049 --> 01:15:09,847
Dong!

1116
01:15:09,919 --> 01:15:13,252
<i>[Dong Laughing]</i>
Dong.

1117
01:15:13,322 --> 01:15:15,688
Dong, Grandpa
is talking to you.

1118
01:15:18,127 --> 01:15:22,496
<i>Dong. Where is my</i>
<i>automobile?</i>

1119
01:15:22,565 --> 01:15:27,002
Automobile?
[Continues Laughing]

1120
01:15:27,069 --> 01:15:30,061
[Imitating Race Car]

1121
01:15:31,140 --> 01:15:34,803
<i>[Imitating Crash]</i>

1122
01:15:34,877 --> 01:15:37,107
Lake.
Big lake.

1123
01:15:37,179 --> 01:15:39,409
Ohh!

1124
01:15:39,481 --> 01:15:43,042
- Why, you
little scuzzbag!
- [Yelps]

1125
01:15:43,419 --> 01:15:45,046
<i>[Church Bells Chiming]</i>

1126
01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:47,953
Oh, my.
Is everything all right?

1127
01:15:48,023 --> 01:15:50,958
I was afraid you'd
had an accident.

1128
01:15:51,026 --> 01:15:55,554
I wish.
Her monthly bill
came early.

1129
01:15:57,333 --> 01:16:00,325
[Laughs]
Well, she's fine.

1130
01:16:00,402 --> 01:16:02,427
Uh, she just took
a muscle relaxer.

1131
01:16:02,504 --> 01:16:04,870
Try four.

1132
01:16:04,940 --> 01:16:06,874
You didn't.
Mother!

1133
01:16:06,942 --> 01:16:09,877
"<i>["Theme From</i> Dragnet" <i>]</i>

1134
01:16:26,495 --> 01:16:31,432
Damn, Mom!
I've got my headgear on.
Will you wake up?

1135
01:16:31,500 --> 01:16:34,060
Where the hell am I?

1136
01:16:34,136 --> 01:16:37,697
I'll, uh, tell you
where you are, if you'll
tell me who you are.

1137
01:16:39,675 --> 01:16:44,408
Farmer Ted.
You're in the parking lot across
the street from my church.

1138
01:16:46,415 --> 01:16:48,349
You own a church?

1139
01:16:53,489 --> 01:16:57,619
What happened?
I have no idea.

1140
01:17:01,530 --> 01:17:03,691
Did I do that
to your hair?

1141
01:17:05,100 --> 01:17:07,227
At this point,
anything is possible.

1142
01:17:10,572 --> 01:17:14,633
Um, l... Uh...

1143
01:17:14,710 --> 01:17:16,644
Did, um...

1144
01:17:18,414 --> 01:17:21,713
Did we, uh...
Yeah.

1145
01:17:21,784 --> 01:17:23,877
I'm pretty sure.

1146
01:17:25,955 --> 01:17:29,584
Um, excuse me,
but do you...

1147
01:17:29,658 --> 01:17:33,355
Do you know if...
Um, did I enjoy it?

1148
01:17:33,429 --> 01:17:35,954
Am I nuts?
Of course I enjoyed it.

1149
01:17:36,031 --> 01:17:40,127
I mean, um... What I
meant was, uh, did you?

1150
01:17:42,905 --> 01:17:45,738
Hmm.

1151
01:17:45,808 --> 01:17:48,402
You know, I have this
weird feeling I did.

1152
01:17:54,183 --> 01:17:58,085
"<i>[Organ]</i>
[Snorting]

1153
01:17:58,153 --> 01:18:01,486
Here, Ginny.
Drink this.

1154
01:18:01,557 --> 01:18:03,548
Come on.

1155
01:18:03,625 --> 01:18:06,389
"<i>[Continues]</i>
Here.

1156
01:18:06,462 --> 01:18:08,930
[Slurping]

1157
01:18:10,499 --> 01:18:12,433
Wow.
[Giggling]

1158
01:18:12,501 --> 01:18:16,335
Do I feel funky!
Uh-huh.

1159
01:18:25,881 --> 01:18:27,815
<i>[Doorbell Rings]</i>

1160
01:18:32,454 --> 01:18:34,615
<i>[Rings]</i>

1161
01:18:34,690 --> 01:18:37,625
Okay. I'm comin'.

1162
01:18:38,827 --> 01:18:42,786
Hello?
Geez, this place
is so confusing.

1163
01:18:44,533 --> 01:18:46,467
Okay.

1164
01:18:51,140 --> 01:18:53,938
[Screaming]

1165
01:18:55,210 --> 01:18:57,940
Go away!
I call F.I.B.!
I call police!

1166
01:18:58,013 --> 01:19:00,140
<i>Go away.</i>
Open the door.

1167
01:19:00,215 --> 01:19:02,877
No way, Jose!
<i>Open the door.</i>

1168
01:19:02,951 --> 01:19:06,751
You beat up my face!
<i>You grabbed my nuts.</i>

1169
01:19:06,822 --> 01:19:09,086
<i>[Gong Clangs]</i>

1170
01:19:10,192 --> 01:19:12,752
Is that you?
Yeah. That me.

1171
01:19:15,464 --> 01:19:17,398
<i>Oh, I'm so sorry.</i>

1172
01:19:17,466 --> 01:19:21,232
I thought you
my new... new-style
American girlfriend.

1173
01:19:21,303 --> 01:19:23,362
Forget it, man.
Just get Samantha,
all right?

1174
01:19:23,439 --> 01:19:26,306
<i>She not here.</i>
Don't jerk me around, man.
Where is she?

1175
01:19:26,375 --> 01:19:28,172
- She got married.
- What?

1176
01:19:28,243 --> 01:19:32,339
She at the church.
She getting married
to oily bohunk.

1177
01:19:32,414 --> 01:19:34,905
Married?
Married.

1178
01:19:34,983 --> 01:19:38,510
Married?
Yeah. Married.

1179
01:19:40,789 --> 01:19:42,723
Married?

1180
01:19:42,791 --> 01:19:45,521
<i>[Dong]</i>
<i>Married. Geez.</i>

1181
01:19:45,594 --> 01:19:49,655
"<i>[Organ]</i>

1182
01:19:51,900 --> 01:19:54,300
Are you gonna
be all right,
sweetie?

1183
01:19:54,369 --> 01:19:58,066
It's gonna be
a piece of cake, Bren.

1184
01:20:00,843 --> 01:20:04,404
<i>Um, Ginny,</i>
<i>I'm really happy for you.</i>

1185
01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:07,813
I'm sorry for being
kind of a jerk lately.

1186
01:20:08,984 --> 01:20:11,384
That's really lovely, Sam.

1187
01:20:11,453 --> 01:20:13,648
I know you'll have
a great marriage.

1188
01:20:17,359 --> 01:20:20,590
<i>- [Thud]</i>
<i>- [Brenda Shouting]</i>
<i>Ginny.</i>

1189
01:20:20,662 --> 01:20:22,721
[Guests Murmuring]

1190
01:20:24,066 --> 01:20:26,660
- Holy shit!
- She just had a cramp.

1191
01:20:26,735 --> 01:20:31,468
<i>[Jim] I don't care</i>
<i>what she's got. Look at her.</i>
<i>[Brenda] Will you be quiet?</i>

1192
01:20:31,540 --> 01:20:34,976
<i>We don't want to announce</i>
<i>that she has her period.</i>
[Guests Gasp]

1193
01:20:35,043 --> 01:20:38,501
I guess those guys who thought
we had to get married feel
pretty stupid, huh, Padre?

1194
01:20:38,580 --> 01:20:40,548
[Chuckles]

1195
01:20:43,152 --> 01:20:46,849
"<i>[Organ</i>... <i>"Wedding March"]</i>

1196
01:20:49,424 --> 01:20:52,587
~ Here comes the bride ~

1197
01:20:52,661 --> 01:20:57,291
'<i>Big, fat and wide</i>"

1198
01:20:57,366 --> 01:21:00,199
"<i>[Organist Humming Along,</i>
<i>Off-key]</i>

1199
01:21:00,269 --> 01:21:02,203
[Snorts]

1200
01:21:08,277 --> 01:21:10,211
Loved the teapot.

1201
01:21:13,148 --> 01:21:15,241
[Giggles]
Excuse me.

1202
01:21:19,388 --> 01:21:23,222
Could you move over?
Oh!

1203
01:21:25,327 --> 01:21:27,352
Are you okay?
I gotta rest.

1204
01:21:27,429 --> 01:21:29,522
Come on.
Here we go.
What's the matter?

1205
01:21:29,598 --> 01:21:31,759
Here comes
the bride.

1206
01:21:31,833 --> 01:21:34,495
[Fabric Ripping]
Oh!

1207
01:21:43,779 --> 01:21:46,441
Sorry.

1208
01:21:46,515 --> 01:21:48,449
I got it.
I got it!

1209
01:21:51,353 --> 01:21:53,583
<i>[Ginny Sighs]</i>
<i>Hi.</i>

1210
01:21:55,057 --> 01:21:58,515
I know you.

1211
01:21:58,594 --> 01:22:01,563
Can't see
with this thing on.

1212
01:22:02,698 --> 01:22:04,256
[Laughing]

1213
01:22:04,333 --> 01:22:08,394
'<i>Boom, bah-boom</i> '
I never went out
with a freshman.

1214
01:22:08,470 --> 01:22:10,404
'<i>Bah-boom, bah-boom</i> '
Not even when I
was a freshman.

1215
01:22:10,472 --> 01:22:14,306
Me either.
You were pretty crazy.

1216
01:22:14,376 --> 01:22:16,276
'<i>Bah, bah, bah-boom</i> '
I was?

1217
01:22:16,345 --> 01:22:20,338
Yeah. You know
what I like best?

1218
01:22:20,415 --> 01:22:23,111
My clean, close shave?
No.

1219
01:22:23,185 --> 01:22:27,019
' <i>Clean, close shave</i>
<i>Ahh</i> '
Waking up in your arms.

1220
01:22:27,089 --> 01:22:30,320
'<i>Ah</i> '
These things?

1221
01:22:30,392 --> 01:22:33,953
'<i>Boom, boom-boom, boom</i> '

1222
01:22:34,029 --> 01:22:36,497
' <i>Ooh</i>"
Shit.

1223
01:22:36,565 --> 01:22:38,499
Mmm?
Jake.

1224
01:22:38,567 --> 01:22:40,535
<i>Jake.</i>

1225
01:22:42,504 --> 01:22:44,438
Holy shit.

1226
01:22:50,545 --> 01:22:53,173
Stay here, okay?
Oh, my God.

1227
01:22:57,552 --> 01:22:59,486
I'm dead.

1228
01:23:00,555 --> 01:23:02,489
<i>[Phone Ringing]</i>

1229
01:23:09,931 --> 01:23:12,126
Hello?
[Cliff]
Ted. You never called us back.

1230
01:23:12,200 --> 01:23:15,601
What happened?
Look, Wease. I told
you not to call me here.

1231
01:23:15,671 --> 01:23:18,105
Ted, we're dying.
What happened?

1232
01:23:18,173 --> 01:23:20,835
You wanna know what
happened? Buy the book.
Ted!

1233
01:23:27,082 --> 01:23:29,016
[Sighs]

1234
01:23:29,084 --> 01:23:31,746
I'm really sorry
about gettin' you mixed up
with that guy.

1235
01:23:31,820 --> 01:23:33,845
Oh, it's okay.

1236
01:23:33,922 --> 01:23:35,981
He wasn't too terrible.

1237
01:23:36,058 --> 01:23:38,219
Weird?

1238
01:23:40,095 --> 01:23:42,393
I'm really sorry
about last night.

1239
01:23:42,464 --> 01:23:44,728
The party.

1240
01:23:44,800 --> 01:23:47,394
Lots of things.

1241
01:23:50,505 --> 01:23:53,440
You know, neither one
of us is gonna die...

1242
01:23:53,508 --> 01:23:56,807
if it doesn't happen
for us.

1243
01:23:56,878 --> 01:23:59,403
That's true.

1244
01:23:59,481 --> 01:24:01,574
I just don't know
right now.

1245
01:24:01,650 --> 01:24:04,118
But I'm covered, okay?
L... I won't get hurt.

1246
01:24:06,355 --> 01:24:08,289
Sure.

1247
01:24:10,292 --> 01:24:12,226
I'll leave it up to you.

1248
01:24:13,628 --> 01:24:15,562
Fine.

1249
01:24:23,839 --> 01:24:26,740
"<i>[Bells Tolling]</i>

1250
01:24:26,808 --> 01:24:28,742
[Guests Exclaiming]

1251
01:24:39,154 --> 01:24:41,088
[Kiss]

1252
01:24:43,925 --> 01:24:46,416
[Shrieks]

1253
01:24:55,303 --> 01:24:58,795
[Everyone Cheering, Shouting]

1254
01:24:58,874 --> 01:25:02,435
<i>[Woman]</i>
<i>Oh, my God.</i>
Her veil!

1255
01:25:06,415 --> 01:25:08,349
<i>[Glass Shattering]</i>

1256
01:25:15,791 --> 01:25:19,352
[Cheering,
Shouting Continues]

1257
01:25:30,739 --> 01:25:32,969
Come on, honey.

1258
01:25:33,041 --> 01:25:35,908
<i>Honey.</i>
Good-bye!

1259
01:25:35,977 --> 01:25:38,502
Come on.
[Laughing]
Here we go.

1260
01:25:38,580 --> 01:25:40,514
[Fred]
Get her in the
back seat, Rudy!

1261
01:25:40,582 --> 01:25:43,244
<i>[Man]</i>
<i>Bon voyage.</i>

1262
01:25:46,121 --> 01:25:48,055
See you later.
Bye!

1263
01:25:48,123 --> 01:25:50,614
Good-bye!
So long, kids!

1264
01:25:50,692 --> 01:25:53,286
Ohh!

1265
01:25:55,363 --> 01:25:57,297
[Horn Honking]

1266
01:25:58,533 --> 01:26:01,468
[Swishing, Gurgling]

1267
01:26:04,840 --> 01:26:08,867
Oh, hi. Uh, my sister
forgot her veil.

1268
01:26:08,944 --> 01:26:11,708
I know she wouldn't want
anything to happen to it.
She's, um...

1269
01:26:11,780 --> 01:26:15,181
She's a little out of it.
Just a little bit.

1270
01:26:15,250 --> 01:26:18,048
Yeah. Uh, well, excuse me.

1271
01:26:18,119 --> 01:26:21,555
Everybody's waiting for me.
I wanna make sure I see
my sister leave.

1272
01:26:21,623 --> 01:26:25,218
Good-bye.
Bye.

1273
01:26:25,293 --> 01:26:27,659
Oh, I need a drink.

1274
01:26:40,709 --> 01:26:44,645
~~

1275
01:26:58,126 --> 01:27:01,254
- '<i>lf you were here</i>
<i>I could deceive you</i> '
- [Mouthing Word]

1276
01:27:01,329 --> 01:27:02,796
Yeah, you.

1277
01:27:06,301 --> 01:27:11,329
'<i>lf you were here</i>
<i>You would believe</i> '

1278
01:27:13,842 --> 01:27:17,573
'<i>But would you suspect</i> '
Hi.

1279
01:27:17,646 --> 01:27:20,615
Hi.
Hi.

1280
01:27:20,682 --> 01:27:22,980
"<i>[Continues]</i>

1281
01:27:23,051 --> 01:27:26,214
What are you doing here?
I heard you were here.

1282
01:27:27,656 --> 01:27:30,124
You came here for me?

1283
01:27:30,191 --> 01:27:34,093
Is that okay?
Yeah. It's okay.

1284
01:27:34,162 --> 01:27:36,630
Do you have to go
to the reception now?

1285
01:27:37,999 --> 01:27:40,797
I'm supposed to.

1286
01:27:40,869 --> 01:27:43,235
Can I call you later?
Sure.

1287
01:27:45,807 --> 01:27:47,741
I mean, no.

1288
01:27:49,477 --> 01:27:51,604
No, I can't call you later?

1289
01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:53,614
Yeah.

1290
01:27:53,682 --> 01:27:58,745
No, I mean... I'm not going
to the reception.

1291
01:27:58,820 --> 01:28:00,754
Oh. Great.

1292
01:28:06,027 --> 01:28:08,962
[All Chattering]

1293
01:28:15,437 --> 01:28:17,371
[Mouthing Words]

1294
01:28:46,167 --> 01:28:49,068
Thanks for getting
my undies back.

1295
01:28:49,137 --> 01:28:51,833
Thanks for comin' over.

1296
01:28:51,906 --> 01:28:53,840
Thanks for coming
to get me.

1297
01:28:56,077 --> 01:28:58,238
Happy birthday,
Samantha.

1298
01:29:00,115 --> 01:29:02,049
Make a wish.

1299
01:29:04,519 --> 01:29:06,453
It already came true.

1300
01:29:09,557 --> 01:29:11,525
'<i>lf you were here</i> '

1301
01:29:11,593 --> 01:29:15,085
'<i>I could deceive you</i> '

1302
01:29:17,666 --> 01:29:19,793
'<i>lf you were here</i> '

1303
01:29:19,868 --> 01:29:22,701
' <i>You would believe</i> '

1304
01:29:25,974 --> 01:29:27,032
'<i>But would you suspect</i> '

1305
01:29:28,410 --> 01:29:33,939
'<i>My emotion wandering</i>
<i>Yeah</i> '

1306
01:29:34,015 --> 01:29:39,920
'<i>Do not want a part of this anymore</i>"

1307
01:29:42,891 --> 01:29:46,292
~~

1308
01:29:46,361 --> 01:29:51,025
<i>[Man]</i>
'<i>Sixteen candles</i> '

1309
01:29:53,068 --> 01:29:57,562
'<i>Make a lovely, lovely light</i> '

1310
01:30:00,008 --> 01:30:03,876
'<i>But not as bright</i> '

1311
01:30:05,980 --> 01:30:12,317
'<i>As your eyes tonight</i> '

1312
01:30:12,387 --> 01:30:16,756
'<i>Blow out those candles</i> '

1313
01:30:18,860 --> 01:30:23,593
'<i>Make your wish come true</i> '

1314
01:30:26,334 --> 01:30:30,327
'<i>For I'll be wishing</i> '

1315
01:30:32,073 --> 01:30:36,066
' <i>That you loved me too</i> '

1316
01:30:38,847 --> 01:30:42,977
' <i>You're only</i> 1 <i>6</i> '

1317
01:30:44,719 --> 01:30:49,179
'<i>But you're my teenage queen</i> '

1318
01:30:52,160 --> 01:30:58,622
' <i>You're the prettiest</i>
<i>loveliest girl</i> '

1319
01:30:58,700 --> 01:31:02,033
'<i>I've ever seen</i> '

1320
01:31:04,439 --> 01:31:09,103
'<i>Sixteen candles</i> '

1321
01:31:10,945 --> 01:31:15,382
'<i>In my heart will glow</i> '

1322
01:31:18,353 --> 01:31:23,154
'<i>Forever and ever</i>
<i>and evermore</i> '

1323
01:31:24,492 --> 01:31:28,895
'<i>For I love you so</i> '

1324
01:31:30,965 --> 01:31:32,899
'<i>Hey</i> '

1325
01:31:57,025 --> 01:32:04,056
'<i>Sixteen candles</i>
<i>Yeah</i> '

1326
01:32:04,132 --> 01:32:08,796
'<i>In my heart</i>
<i>In my heart will glow</i> '

1327
01:32:11,072 --> 01:32:15,406
'<i>Forever and ever</i>
<i>and ever</i> '

1328
01:32:17,078 --> 01:32:20,912
'<i>For I love you so</i> '

1329
01:32:20,982 --> 01:32:30,789
' <i>Oh, I love you so</i>"