1 00:00:36,866 --> 00:00:38,265 That's right. 2 00:00:39,369 --> 00:00:40,597 New York. 3 00:00:41,371 --> 00:00:43,066 It's 1958. 4 00:00:44,874 --> 00:00:47,536 Anyway, for a few more minutes it is. 5 00:00:48,545 --> 00:00:51,708 Come midnight, it's going to be 1959. 6 00:00:52,482 --> 00:00:54,780 A whole other feeling. 7 00:00:54,851 --> 00:00:56,375 The New Year. 8 00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:58,482 The future. 9 00:00:59,789 --> 00:01:03,748 Old Daddy Earth fixing to start one more trip around the sun. 10 00:01:04,561 --> 00:01:07,792 Everybody hoping this ride round be a little more giddy... 11 00:01:08,631 --> 00:01:10,121 ...a little more gay. 12 00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:14,394 All over town, champagne corks is a-popping. 13 00:01:15,405 --> 00:01:20,138 Over in the Waldorf, the big shots is dancing to the strains of Guy Lombardo. 14 00:01:21,544 --> 00:01:26,572 In Times Square, the little folks is watching and waiting for that big ball to drop. 15 00:01:28,251 --> 00:01:31,846 They're all trying to catch hold of one moment of time... 16 00:01:32,455 --> 00:01:33,979 ...to be able to say: 17 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,055 "Right now! This is it! 18 00:01:36,926 --> 00:01:38,018 "I got it!" 19 00:01:40,263 --> 00:01:42,322 Of course, by then it'll be past. 20 00:01:42,932 --> 00:01:44,593 But they're all happy... 21 00:01:45,401 --> 00:01:47,460 ...everybody having a good time. 22 00:01:48,571 --> 00:01:50,163 Well, almost everybody. 23 00:01:51,508 --> 00:01:54,636 There's a few lost souls floating around out there. 24 00:01:57,113 --> 00:01:59,308 Now, if y'all ain't from the city... 25 00:01:59,782 --> 00:02:02,342 ...we got something here called "the rat race." 26 00:02:03,453 --> 00:02:07,617 Got a way of chewing folks up so that they don't want no celebrating... 27 00:02:08,024 --> 00:02:09,924 ...don't want no cheering up. 28 00:02:10,293 --> 00:02:12,625 Don't care nothing about no New Year's. 29 00:02:13,696 --> 00:02:14,924 Out of hope... 30 00:02:15,198 --> 00:02:16,563 ...out of rope... 31 00:02:16,699 --> 00:02:17,996 ...out of time. 32 00:02:19,702 --> 00:02:21,727 This here is Norville Barnes. 33 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,608 That office he's stepping out of... 34 00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:28,872 ...is the office of the president of Hudsucker Industries. 35 00:02:29,612 --> 00:02:30,977 That's his office. 36 00:02:32,448 --> 00:02:34,075 How'd he get so high? 37 00:02:35,051 --> 00:02:37,110 And why's he feeling so low? 38 00:02:38,888 --> 00:02:40,685 Is he really going to do it? 39 00:02:41,391 --> 00:02:44,690 Is Norville really going to jelly up the sidewalk? 40 00:02:46,396 --> 00:02:47,829 Well, the future... 41 00:02:48,331 --> 00:02:50,993 ...that's something you can never tell about. 42 00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:53,430 But the past... 43 00:02:55,838 --> 00:02:57,499 ...that's another story. 44 00:05:19,916 --> 00:05:22,476 So in the third quarter we saw no signs of weakening. 45 00:05:22,552 --> 00:05:26,044 We're up 18% over last year's third-quarter gross... 46 00:05:26,255 --> 00:05:28,746 ...and that, needless to say, is a new record. 47 00:05:28,825 --> 00:05:33,319 Our competition continues to flag and we continue to take up the slack. 48 00:05:33,763 --> 00:05:36,425 Market shares in most divisions is increasing... 49 00:05:36,499 --> 00:05:39,559 ...and we have opened seven new regional offices. 50 00:05:40,002 --> 00:05:41,492 Our international division... 51 00:05:41,571 --> 00:05:45,803 ...is also showing vigorous signs of upward movement for the last six months... 52 00:05:45,942 --> 00:05:49,173 ...and we're looking at some exciting things in R&D. 53 00:06:29,318 --> 00:06:32,810 Sub-franchising. Don't talk to me about sub-franchising. 54 00:06:32,989 --> 00:06:35,355 We're making so much money in sub-franchising... 55 00:06:35,425 --> 00:06:37,052 ...it isn't even funny. 56 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,558 Our nominees and assigns continue to multiply and expand... 57 00:06:41,631 --> 00:06:45,328 ...extending our influence nationally and abroad. 58 00:06:45,468 --> 00:06:47,936 Our owned and operateds are performing... 59 00:06:48,004 --> 00:06:51,235 ...far beyond our expectations both here and abroad. 60 00:06:51,374 --> 00:06:53,968 And the Federal Tax Act of 1958... 61 00:06:54,143 --> 00:06:57,909 ...is giving us a swell write-off on our plant and heavies. 62 00:07:23,272 --> 00:07:27,106 And our last debenture issue was this year's fastest seller. 63 00:07:27,643 --> 00:07:30,111 So, third quarter and year-to-date... 64 00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:34,442 ...we have set a new record in sales, a new record in gross... 65 00:07:34,517 --> 00:07:37,145 ...a new record in pre-tax earnings... 66 00:07:37,353 --> 00:07:40,254 ...a new record in after-tax profits... 67 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,425 ...and our stock has split twice in the past year. 68 00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:44,885 In short... 69 00:07:49,632 --> 00:07:51,031 ...we're loaded. 70 00:08:43,853 --> 00:08:45,343 Mr. Hudsucker? 71 00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:33,385 It's a pity to waste a whole Monte Cristo. 72 00:10:34,296 --> 00:10:35,854 He could've opened the window. 73 00:10:35,931 --> 00:10:38,798 Waring Hudsucker never did anything the easy way. 74 00:10:39,368 --> 00:10:42,462 Why? Why did he do it? Everything was going so well. 75 00:10:43,305 --> 00:10:46,206 What am I, a headshrinker? Maybe the man was unhappy. 76 00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:48,138 He didn't look unhappy. 77 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:52,269 - He didn't look rich. - He was never an easy man to figure out. 78 00:10:52,815 --> 00:10:55,443 He built this company with his bare hands. 79 00:10:56,085 --> 00:10:58,315 Every step he took was a step up... 80 00:10:59,388 --> 00:11:01,253 ...except, of course, this last one. 81 00:11:01,323 --> 00:11:03,291 He was a swell fella... 82 00:11:04,093 --> 00:11:08,029 ...but when the president, chairman and owner of 87% of the stock... 83 00:11:08,097 --> 00:11:09,223 ...drops... 84 00:11:09,899 --> 00:11:10,991 ...44 floors-- 85 00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:11,829 45. 86 00:11:11,901 --> 00:11:13,232 Counting the mezzanine. 87 00:11:13,402 --> 00:11:16,166 Then the company, too, has a problem. Stillson! 88 00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:21,001 What exactly is the disposition of Waring's stock? 89 00:11:21,177 --> 00:11:22,508 As you know... 90 00:11:22,578 --> 00:11:24,842 ...Hud left no will and no family. 91 00:11:24,914 --> 00:11:28,008 The company bylaws are quite clear in that event. 92 00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:31,520 "His entire portfolio will be converted into common stock... 93 00:11:31,687 --> 00:11:36,021 "...and will be sold over the counter as of the first of the fiscal year... 94 00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:38,218 - "...following his demise." - Meaning? 95 00:11:38,594 --> 00:11:42,291 Meaning simply that Waring's stock and control of the company... 96 00:11:42,398 --> 00:11:45,526 ...will be made available to the public January 1st. 97 00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:48,759 Do you mean to say... 98 00:11:48,938 --> 00:11:52,533 ...that any slob in a smelly T-shirt will be able to buy Hudsucker stock? 99 00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:54,968 The company bylaws are quite clear. 100 00:11:55,044 --> 00:11:57,069 My God! You're animals! 101 00:11:57,146 --> 00:12:01,412 How can you discuss his stock when the man has just leapt 45 floors? 102 00:12:01,484 --> 00:12:02,348 44. 103 00:12:02,418 --> 00:12:04,045 Not counting the mezzanine. 104 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,280 Quit showboating. 105 00:12:05,354 --> 00:12:07,788 The man is gone. The question now is whether we'll let... 106 00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,883 ...John Q. Public waltz in here and buy our company. 107 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,019 What are you suggesting? 108 00:12:13,095 --> 00:12:16,087 Certainly we can't afford to buy a controlling interest. 109 00:12:16,365 --> 00:12:18,458 Not while the stock is this strong. 110 00:12:19,468 --> 00:12:21,902 How soon before Hud's paper hits the market? 111 00:12:21,971 --> 00:12:22,801 January 1st. 112 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,271 - Thirty days. - Four weeks. 113 00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:26,308 - A month at the most. - One month... 114 00:12:26,408 --> 00:12:28,672 ...to make the blue-chip investment of the century... 115 00:12:28,744 --> 00:12:30,974 ...look like a round-trip ticket on the Titanic. 116 00:12:31,046 --> 00:12:33,776 We play up the fact that Hud is dead. 117 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,350 Long live the Hud! 118 00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:36,509 We depress the stock. 119 00:12:36,585 --> 00:12:39,315 - To the point where we can buy 50%. - 51%. 120 00:12:39,388 --> 00:12:40,753 Not counting the mezzanine. 121 00:12:40,823 --> 00:12:41,790 It could work. 122 00:12:41,857 --> 00:12:43,324 - It should work. - It would work. 123 00:12:43,392 --> 00:12:45,087 It's working already. 124 00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:49,264 Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Madison Avenue. 125 00:12:50,432 --> 00:12:54,835 What we need now is a new president who will inspire panic in the stockholder. 126 00:12:55,004 --> 00:12:56,437 - A puppet! - A proxy! 127 00:12:56,505 --> 00:12:57,494 A pawn! 128 00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:01,135 Some jerk... 129 00:13:01,777 --> 00:13:03,642 ...we can really push around. 130 00:13:05,614 --> 00:13:09,345 You punch in at 8:30 every a.m., at 7:30 a.m. following a business holiday... 131 00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:11,511 ...unless it's a Monday, then it's 8:00. 132 00:13:11,587 --> 00:13:15,182 - Punch in late and they dock you. - This goes to seven! Urgent. 133 00:13:15,257 --> 00:13:18,954 Incoming articles get a voucher. Outgoing articles provide a voucher. 134 00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:21,462 Move any article without a voucher, they dock you! 135 00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:23,964 Take this up to the secretarial pool on three! ASAP! 136 00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:26,695 Letter-size, a green voucher! Folder-size, a yellow voucher! 137 00:13:26,769 --> 00:13:28,361 Parcel-size, a maroon voucher! 138 00:13:28,437 --> 00:13:30,496 This is for Morgatross! Chop-chop! 139 00:13:30,573 --> 00:13:32,803 Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 140 00:13:33,676 --> 00:13:36,144 6-7-8-7-0-4-9-Alpha-6! 141 00:13:36,445 --> 00:13:39,573 That is your employee number! It will not be repeated! 142 00:13:39,782 --> 00:13:42,273 Without it, you can't cash your paycheck. 143 00:13:42,351 --> 00:13:44,080 All right! This goes up to 27! 144 00:13:44,153 --> 00:13:47,122 Return a waiver! Do not return without a signed waiver! 145 00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:51,319 Inter-office mail is code 37! Intra-office mail is 37-3. 146 00:13:51,493 --> 00:13:53,757 Outside mail is 3-37. 147 00:13:53,896 --> 00:13:55,693 Code it wrong and they dock you! 148 00:13:55,764 --> 00:13:58,631 I was supposed to have this on 28 ten minutes ago! 149 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:03,564 This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand? 150 00:14:03,772 --> 00:14:07,264 If you have not been fully orientated, you must file a complaint! 151 00:14:07,343 --> 00:14:10,312 File a faulty complaint, and they dock you! 152 00:14:15,851 --> 00:14:16,840 Kloppitt. 153 00:14:17,019 --> 00:14:19,920 Kloppitt, Kloppitt, Kloppitt, Kloppitt.... 154 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,456 Max Kloppitt. 155 00:14:21,523 --> 00:14:23,753 "Max Kloppitt, Jr." 156 00:14:32,368 --> 00:14:35,599 What do you do when the envelope is too big for the slot? 157 00:14:36,939 --> 00:14:39,203 If you fold them, they fire you. 158 00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:42,968 I usually throw them out. 159 00:14:49,551 --> 00:14:51,041 Just got hired today. 160 00:14:51,553 --> 00:14:52,451 Terrific. 161 00:14:53,255 --> 00:14:54,244 Entry level. 162 00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:58,382 But... 163 00:14:59,061 --> 00:15:00,494 ...I got big ideas. 164 00:15:01,196 --> 00:15:02,527 I'm sure you do. 165 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:04,226 For instance... 166 00:15:05,401 --> 00:15:06,629 ...look at this sweet baby. 167 00:15:10,572 --> 00:15:12,062 I developed it myself. 168 00:15:12,141 --> 00:15:14,575 Yes, sirree, this is my ticket upstairs. 169 00:15:18,247 --> 00:15:19,680 You know, for kids. 170 00:15:20,649 --> 00:15:21,638 Terrific. 171 00:15:22,751 --> 00:15:25,743 So, you see. I won't be working in the mail room long. 172 00:15:25,821 --> 00:15:27,755 No, I don't guess you will be. 173 00:15:28,991 --> 00:15:30,583 How long've you been here? 174 00:15:30,659 --> 00:15:31,921 Forty-eight years. 175 00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:34,760 Next year they move me up to parcels... 176 00:15:35,864 --> 00:15:37,195 ...if I'm lucky. 177 00:15:39,435 --> 00:15:41,335 Attention Hudsucker employees: 178 00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:45,570 We regretfully announce that at 30 seconds after the hour of noon... 179 00:15:45,674 --> 00:15:46,936 ...Hudsucker time... 180 00:15:47,009 --> 00:15:49,671 ...Waring Hudsucker, Founder, President... 181 00:15:49,945 --> 00:15:52,880 ...and Chairman of the Board of Hudsucker Industries... 182 00:15:52,948 --> 00:15:54,438 ...merged with the infinite. 183 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:57,218 To mark this occasion of corporate loss... 184 00:15:57,286 --> 00:16:01,416 ...we ask that all employees observe a moment of silent contemplation. 185 00:16:08,530 --> 00:16:10,521 Thank you for your kind attention. 186 00:16:10,699 --> 00:16:13,725 This moment has been duly noted on your timecards... 187 00:16:13,836 --> 00:16:17,067 ...and will be deducted from your pay. That is all. 188 00:16:20,409 --> 00:16:21,637 Blue letter! 189 00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:22,970 Blue letter! 190 00:16:23,045 --> 00:16:24,808 They're bringing a blue letter! 191 00:16:58,947 --> 00:17:00,380 It's a blue letter. 192 00:17:01,183 --> 00:17:02,445 Top, top level. 193 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,586 Confidential communication between the brass. 194 00:17:06,555 --> 00:17:07,954 Usually bad news. 195 00:17:08,857 --> 00:17:10,757 They hate blue letters upstairs. 196 00:17:14,963 --> 00:17:15,987 Hate them. 197 00:17:16,065 --> 00:17:16,895 You! 198 00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:18,866 Yeah, you! Barnes! 199 00:17:19,435 --> 00:17:20,697 You don't look busy! 200 00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:23,329 Think you can handle a blue letter? 201 00:17:23,405 --> 00:17:28,035 This letter was sent this morning by the big man himself, Waring Hudsucker! 202 00:17:28,277 --> 00:17:31,872 It's addressed to Sid Mussburger, Hudsucker's right-hand man! 203 00:17:32,047 --> 00:17:33,537 It's a blue letter! 204 00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:36,974 That means you got to put it right in Mussburger's hands. 205 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,417 No secretaries! No receptionists! 206 00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:41,885 No colleagues! No excuses! 207 00:17:42,858 --> 00:17:44,052 Mussburger! 208 00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:50,125 Hi! My name's Buzz, I got the fuzz, I make the elevator do what she does. 209 00:17:50,933 --> 00:17:52,127 Hang it up to dry. 210 00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:54,134 - What's your pleasure? - Forty-four. 211 00:17:54,303 --> 00:17:57,238 Forty-four, the top-brass floor. Say, buddy... 212 00:17:57,406 --> 00:18:01,172 ...what takes 50 years to get to the top floor and 30 seconds to get down? 213 00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,674 Waring Hudsucker! You get it, buddy? 214 00:18:04,012 --> 00:18:07,345 Say, buddy! Mr. Kline, up to nine. Mrs. Dell, Personnel. 215 00:18:07,449 --> 00:18:09,417 - Mr. Levin, 37. - Thirty-six. 216 00:18:09,485 --> 00:18:10,577 Walk down! 217 00:18:10,652 --> 00:18:12,415 Ladies and gentlemen, please step to the rear. 218 00:18:12,488 --> 00:18:14,581 Here comes the gargantuan Mr. Grier. 219 00:18:16,959 --> 00:18:20,258 Buddy, who's the most liquid businessman on the street? 220 00:18:20,329 --> 00:18:21,660 Waring Hudsucker. 221 00:18:22,331 --> 00:18:25,960 When is the sidewalk fully dressed? When it's wearing Hudsucker! 222 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,203 You get it? 223 00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:31,728 It's a pun, a knee-slapper, a play on Jesus, Joseph and Mary.... 224 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,307 Is that a blue letter? 225 00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:37,539 Why didn't you tell a guy? Hold on, folks, we're express to the top floor! 226 00:18:52,928 --> 00:18:54,259 Good luck, buddy. 227 00:18:57,599 --> 00:18:58,861 You'll need it. 228 00:19:11,813 --> 00:19:13,474 Mr. Mussburger's office? 229 00:20:10,839 --> 00:20:11,863 Hello. 230 00:20:12,841 --> 00:20:15,173 Do you have an appointment? 231 00:20:16,845 --> 00:20:18,870 Shall we look in the book? 232 00:20:21,116 --> 00:20:23,949 - We don't seem to be in the book. - I wouldn't be. 233 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,748 If we had an appointment, we'd be in the book. 234 00:20:28,323 --> 00:20:29,517 I have this.... 235 00:20:30,092 --> 00:20:31,354 Oh, here it is. 236 00:20:37,132 --> 00:20:38,121 Gambotz? 237 00:20:39,034 --> 00:20:40,262 Harry Gambotz? 238 00:20:40,469 --> 00:20:43,063 No, too risky. He's green but he's not slow. 239 00:20:44,606 --> 00:20:45,664 Who is he? 240 00:20:45,974 --> 00:20:48,875 No, I want an imbecile, not a cipher, or you'd have the job. 241 00:20:51,313 --> 00:20:53,144 They moved him to grommets and O-rings. 242 00:20:53,215 --> 00:20:54,614 He's doing pretty well. 243 00:20:55,984 --> 00:20:57,679 No, not McClanahan. 244 00:20:58,654 --> 00:21:01,714 He bungled the Teleyard merger so he's got something to prove. 245 00:21:02,024 --> 00:21:03,286 Who let you in? 246 00:21:03,992 --> 00:21:07,052 Atwater? Tremendous. Except I just fired him last week. 247 00:21:07,763 --> 00:21:08,923 Mr. Mussburger... 248 00:21:09,031 --> 00:21:11,022 ...Mr. Bumstead's waiting downstairs. 249 00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:13,328 - I'll be right there. - Yes, Mr. Mussburger. 250 00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:14,528 Spit it out! 251 00:21:16,571 --> 00:21:19,005 Maybe you're the company's biggest moron. 252 00:21:19,274 --> 00:21:22,903 We can't use Morris. Been here too long. He's a nice guy with too many friends. 253 00:21:22,978 --> 00:21:26,004 In fact, why don't you fire him? Scratch that, I'll fire him. 254 00:21:26,581 --> 00:21:28,071 Make it fast. Fast! 255 00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,551 Mr. Bumstead is growing restless. 256 00:21:30,619 --> 00:21:33,087 Tell him I'll be right there. Give him a magazine. 257 00:21:33,155 --> 00:21:34,645 What are you, a mute? 258 00:21:36,391 --> 00:21:37,722 How's the stock? 259 00:21:37,826 --> 00:21:39,919 Bad? Well, it's not bad enough. 260 00:21:40,595 --> 00:21:41,755 Listen, chump. 261 00:21:41,830 --> 00:21:46,028 Either you find me a ding-dong or tender your key to the executive washroom. 262 00:21:46,134 --> 00:21:48,967 That goes double for you, pal. Earclay? Oodgay! 263 00:21:53,709 --> 00:21:56,109 This better be good. I'm in a bad mood. 264 00:21:57,212 --> 00:22:00,670 Sir, I've got something for you from the mail room, but first... 265 00:22:00,749 --> 00:22:05,777 ...if I could take a minute of your very valuable time to show you something... 266 00:22:05,854 --> 00:22:08,948 ...I've been working on for the past two or three years. 267 00:22:16,331 --> 00:22:17,764 You know, for kids. 268 00:22:18,633 --> 00:22:21,568 It's perfect for Hudsucker, not that I'm any great genius. 269 00:22:21,636 --> 00:22:25,800 They say inspiration is 99% perspiration and in my case it's at least twice that... 270 00:22:25,874 --> 00:22:28,900 - ...but I've got to tell you, sir-- - Wait a minute! 271 00:23:13,455 --> 00:23:14,683 Sit down, son. 272 00:23:17,592 --> 00:23:18,581 Go ahead. 273 00:23:20,529 --> 00:23:21,587 Try it on. 274 00:23:35,143 --> 00:23:36,474 Put your feet up. 275 00:23:40,415 --> 00:23:41,404 Go ahead. 276 00:23:43,618 --> 00:23:46,052 Let's get to know one another, shall we? 277 00:23:47,989 --> 00:23:49,183 Let's chat... 278 00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:53,585 ...man-to-man. 279 00:24:00,902 --> 00:24:03,234 You're from the basement, aren't you? 280 00:24:04,439 --> 00:24:06,464 And weren't blessed with much... 281 00:24:08,677 --> 00:24:09,871 ...education? 282 00:24:10,278 --> 00:24:12,576 Well, I am a college graduate. 283 00:24:13,081 --> 00:24:15,641 But you did not excel in your studies. 284 00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:17,650 Well, I made the dean's list... 285 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,245 ...at the Muncie College of Business Administration. 286 00:24:22,657 --> 00:24:25,421 And your friends called you "jerk," didn't they? 287 00:24:27,028 --> 00:24:28,017 "Dope?" 288 00:24:28,129 --> 00:24:29,027 "Dipstick?" 289 00:24:29,097 --> 00:24:30,587 "Lamebrain?" "Schmo?" 290 00:24:30,665 --> 00:24:31,927 Not even behind your back? 291 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,594 They voted me "Most Likely to Succeed." 292 00:24:34,669 --> 00:24:35,863 You're fired. 293 00:24:38,139 --> 00:24:41,472 Get your feet off my desk, get out of my office. 294 00:24:42,043 --> 00:24:43,704 Leave your apron in the locker room. 295 00:24:44,279 --> 00:24:45,268 Oh, my God! 296 00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:49,783 The Bumstead contracts. I've been working on that deal for four years! 297 00:24:49,951 --> 00:24:52,044 Get out of here! I'll take care of it! 298 00:24:52,888 --> 00:24:56,119 You could have destroyed the most sensitive document of my career. 299 00:24:56,191 --> 00:24:58,716 Mr. Bumstead is threatening to leave. 300 00:24:58,827 --> 00:25:00,158 I'm on my way down. 301 00:25:00,228 --> 00:25:03,720 We need the first page of the contract retyped with copies going to Legal. 302 00:25:03,798 --> 00:25:05,356 Yes, Mr. Mussburger. 303 00:25:09,271 --> 00:25:10,795 Out! Out of the office! 304 00:25:13,608 --> 00:25:14,802 Down three points? 305 00:25:14,876 --> 00:25:17,310 That's encouraging. How about New York? 306 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,311 Not that way, through the door! 307 00:25:20,982 --> 00:25:23,712 It'll take three hours to retype the Bumstead contracts. 308 00:25:23,785 --> 00:25:24,911 Where are you going? 309 00:25:24,986 --> 00:25:26,681 Get out! Stop that! 310 00:25:26,988 --> 00:25:28,580 Mr. Bumstead's threatening to leave. 311 00:25:28,657 --> 00:25:31,182 Not the whole contract, just the first page. 312 00:25:31,493 --> 00:25:33,552 I'll be there. Give him another magazine. 313 00:25:33,628 --> 00:25:36,290 - He says he'll leave. - I said I'll be there! 314 00:25:37,399 --> 00:25:40,994 Up on your feet! We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries! 315 00:25:41,403 --> 00:25:43,234 - My leg is on fire! - No assumptions! 316 00:25:43,305 --> 00:25:47,002 It's early yet. Just let me know where we stand at the closing bell. 317 00:25:56,451 --> 00:25:58,681 Oh, my God, the Bumstead contracts! 318 00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:06,116 No magazines! No coffee! 319 00:26:06,294 --> 00:26:10,856 Mussburger! I want to see Mussburger! Or did he jump out a window too? 320 00:26:11,933 --> 00:26:15,562 Don't worry, Mr. Mussburger, I got you! I got you by your pants. 321 00:26:18,473 --> 00:26:19,405 Pants? 322 00:26:23,979 --> 00:26:27,915 Mr. Mussburger, I'm gonna give your pants a nice double stitch. 323 00:26:28,383 --> 00:26:32,114 It'll make them real strong and you're going to look real sharp. 324 00:26:32,988 --> 00:26:35,513 No. Single stitch is fine. 325 00:26:35,724 --> 00:26:38,056 But the double stitch lasts forever. 326 00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:41,854 Why on earth would I want a double stitch? 327 00:26:43,131 --> 00:26:44,598 To pad your account. 328 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,558 Single stitch is fine. 329 00:26:52,907 --> 00:26:53,999 Damn! 330 00:27:00,615 --> 00:27:03,948 What the heck! Mr. Mussburger is such a nice man... 331 00:27:04,319 --> 00:27:06,913 ...I'm going to give him a double stitch anyway. 332 00:27:08,023 --> 00:27:11,356 That's some strong stitch, you bet! 333 00:28:57,766 --> 00:28:59,893 "The Einstein of Enterprise." 334 00:29:00,935 --> 00:29:02,425 "The Edison of Industry." 335 00:29:03,705 --> 00:29:05,866 "The Billion-Dollar Cranium!" 336 00:29:07,742 --> 00:29:09,300 "Idea Man!" 337 00:29:11,146 --> 00:29:13,478 And not one of you has given me a story on him! 338 00:29:13,548 --> 00:29:15,277 Bunch of lamebrains! 339 00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:18,412 Facts, figures, charts. They never sold a newspaper! 340 00:29:18,586 --> 00:29:20,554 I read this morning's Argus and let me tell you something: 341 00:29:20,622 --> 00:29:22,214 I'd wrap a fish in it! 342 00:29:22,290 --> 00:29:23,917 I'd use it as kindling! 343 00:29:23,992 --> 00:29:28,395 I'd train my poodle on it if he wasn't a French poodle and partial to Paris Soir. 344 00:29:28,563 --> 00:29:31,430 But I wouldn't pay a nickel to read the thing! 345 00:29:31,499 --> 00:29:33,558 Come on, Chief, give us a break. 346 00:29:34,169 --> 00:29:36,262 Sure, Tibbs. Take a break. 347 00:29:37,038 --> 00:29:39,165 Go to Florida. Lie in the sun. 348 00:29:39,774 --> 00:29:42,242 Wait for a coconut to drop. File a story on it. 349 00:29:42,577 --> 00:29:45,876 It'd be more of a grabber than your piece on the county grain surplus! 350 00:29:45,947 --> 00:29:48,438 The human angle! That's what sells papers! 351 00:29:48,817 --> 00:29:52,275 We need a front page with a heart and the Idea Man can put it there! 352 00:29:52,353 --> 00:29:53,820 If we had more access-- 353 00:29:53,888 --> 00:29:56,379 If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's ass hopping. 354 00:29:56,457 --> 00:29:58,516 I don't want excuses, I want results! 355 00:29:58,927 --> 00:30:01,589 What makes the Idea Man tick? Where's he from? 356 00:30:01,696 --> 00:30:05,291 I want to know everything about him! Has he got a girl? Has he got parents? 357 00:30:05,366 --> 00:30:07,425 Everybody has parents. 358 00:30:07,602 --> 00:30:09,263 All right, how many? 359 00:30:10,405 --> 00:30:12,635 How about it, Parkinson? You've been awfully quiet. 360 00:30:14,609 --> 00:30:16,042 Still waters run deep. 361 00:30:16,144 --> 00:30:18,635 Only thing deep with Parkinson are the holes in his ears. 362 00:30:18,713 --> 00:30:20,340 Yes! Idea Man! 363 00:30:20,982 --> 00:30:24,213 What are his hopes and dreams, his desires and aspirations? 364 00:30:24,519 --> 00:30:27,215 Does he think all the time or a certain portion of the day? 365 00:30:27,288 --> 00:30:30,849 How tall is he? Where does he sleep? What does he have for breakfast? 366 00:30:30,925 --> 00:30:33,155 Does he put jam on his toast or doesn't he? 367 00:30:33,228 --> 00:30:35,287 If not, why not and since when? 368 00:30:36,297 --> 00:30:37,286 Well? 369 00:30:38,633 --> 00:30:40,157 You're useless. 370 00:30:40,902 --> 00:30:42,164 Yes. Idea Man. 371 00:30:42,837 --> 00:30:43,826 "Creator." 372 00:30:43,905 --> 00:30:44,963 "Innovator." 373 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:46,571 "Cerebrator." 374 00:30:47,242 --> 00:30:48,300 Fake! 375 00:30:48,943 --> 00:30:50,968 I tell you, the guy's a phony. 376 00:30:51,045 --> 00:30:52,569 - Phony? - As a $3 bill. 377 00:30:52,647 --> 00:30:54,308 - Says who? - Says me, Amy Archer! 378 00:30:54,382 --> 00:30:56,714 Why is he an Idea Man? Because Hudsucker says so? 379 00:30:56,784 --> 00:30:59,412 What are his ideas? Why can't anyone interview him? 380 00:30:59,487 --> 00:31:01,580 Five bucks says she mentions her Pulitzer. 381 00:31:02,423 --> 00:31:04,414 Again? You're on. 382 00:31:04,492 --> 00:31:06,426 Look at the mug on this guy. 383 00:31:06,494 --> 00:31:09,657 The jutting eyebrows, the simian forehead, the idiotic grin. 384 00:31:09,731 --> 00:31:11,631 He has a face only a mother could love... 385 00:31:13,034 --> 00:31:14,023 ...on payday. 386 00:31:14,269 --> 00:31:17,238 The only story here is how this guy made a monkey out of you. 387 00:31:17,305 --> 00:31:19,933 Like it or not, I'm still editor of this rag. 388 00:31:20,108 --> 00:31:23,202 I thought you were writing, "J. Edgar Hoover: When Will He Marry?" 389 00:31:23,278 --> 00:31:26,509 - I filed it yesterday. Nice tie, Earl. - Well, do a follow-up. 390 00:31:26,648 --> 00:31:28,673 "Hoover: Crimebuster or Pantywaist?" 391 00:31:28,750 --> 00:31:31,981 The rest of you mugs get some brains and get me that Idea Man story! 392 00:31:33,621 --> 00:31:34,849 He's the bunk. 393 00:31:40,962 --> 00:31:42,827 I'll stake my Pulitzer on it! 394 00:31:45,366 --> 00:31:47,391 Say, buddy, where'd you get the new duds? 395 00:31:47,468 --> 00:31:50,403 Say, buddy, how did Old Bucketbutt like his blue letter? 396 00:31:50,972 --> 00:31:54,135 Did he bust a gut? Did he die? Well, hello, Mr. Mussburger. 397 00:31:54,208 --> 00:31:55,641 Lobby, we haven't got all day. 398 00:31:55,710 --> 00:31:57,473 Right away, Mr. Mussburger. 399 00:31:57,612 --> 00:31:59,671 How're you this fine morning, sir? 400 00:32:00,448 --> 00:32:02,814 It's been a pleasure serving you today, sir. 401 00:32:02,884 --> 00:32:05,546 It's been a pleasure serving you too, buddy. 402 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,417 Shouldn't we be a little concerned with the downward spiral of our stock... 403 00:32:09,490 --> 00:32:10,855 ...these past few days? 404 00:32:10,925 --> 00:32:13,587 You're the expert, but at the Muncie College of Business-- 405 00:32:13,661 --> 00:32:15,390 Relax, it's only natural... 406 00:32:15,563 --> 00:32:19,090 ...in a period of transition for the more timid element to run for cover. 407 00:32:19,167 --> 00:32:22,864 Like I said, you're the expert but do you remember the plan I outlined... 408 00:32:22,937 --> 00:32:26,100 ...the day I set fire to your.... The day I was promoted? 409 00:32:26,507 --> 00:32:30,671 I do remember and I was impressed. But that's all forgotten now. 410 00:32:32,847 --> 00:32:34,041 Thank you, Sid. 411 00:32:34,849 --> 00:32:38,444 The reason I mention it is it requires such a small capital investment.... 412 00:32:38,519 --> 00:32:41,784 - There's a huge potential profit... - Damn it, where's my car? 413 00:32:41,856 --> 00:32:44,882 ...given the demographics boom of the burgeoning middle-class. 414 00:32:44,959 --> 00:32:49,020 So if you agree, I'd like to bounce the idea off a few people at lunch. 415 00:32:49,097 --> 00:32:50,086 Sure. 416 00:32:50,331 --> 00:32:54,199 Tell whoever you want. I'd like to hear about it at some point too. 417 00:33:03,544 --> 00:33:04,875 I got gas, Benny. 418 00:33:06,514 --> 00:33:07,845 Tell me about it. 419 00:33:08,316 --> 00:33:10,546 No kidding, Benny. I got gas. 420 00:33:11,386 --> 00:33:12,853 You get the special? 421 00:33:13,221 --> 00:33:14,347 Far from it. 422 00:33:18,359 --> 00:33:19,621 Enter the dame. 423 00:33:20,395 --> 00:33:22,386 There's one in every story. 424 00:33:22,997 --> 00:33:25,591 Ten bucks says she's looking for a handout. 425 00:33:25,933 --> 00:33:28,800 Twenty bucks says not here, she don't find one. 426 00:33:29,404 --> 00:33:31,065 She's looking for her mark. 427 00:33:31,139 --> 00:33:32,333 She finds him. 428 00:33:32,407 --> 00:33:35,069 She sits down and orders... 429 00:33:36,411 --> 00:33:37,742 ...a light lunch. 430 00:33:38,279 --> 00:33:40,474 How will she pay for this lunch? 431 00:33:40,915 --> 00:33:42,712 She looks through her purse. 432 00:33:43,017 --> 00:33:44,041 No money. 433 00:33:44,519 --> 00:33:46,214 The mark notices. 434 00:33:47,655 --> 00:33:49,350 He's not noticing, Benny. 435 00:33:49,424 --> 00:33:50,857 Maybe he's wise. 436 00:33:51,259 --> 00:33:52,749 He don't look wise. 437 00:33:54,929 --> 00:33:56,157 Plan two. 438 00:33:56,497 --> 00:33:58,294 Here come the waterworks. 439 00:33:58,633 --> 00:34:00,692 - Yellowstone. - Old Faithful. 440 00:34:00,768 --> 00:34:02,633 Hello, Niagara. 441 00:34:03,071 --> 00:34:04,231 He notices. 442 00:34:04,305 --> 00:34:05,704 She's distressed. 443 00:34:05,940 --> 00:34:07,373 He's concerned. 444 00:34:07,942 --> 00:34:10,035 She explains her predicament. 445 00:34:10,411 --> 00:34:11,400 And.... 446 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,105 Enter the light lunch. 447 00:34:15,283 --> 00:34:17,376 She's got other problems, of course. 448 00:34:17,452 --> 00:34:19,352 There's illness in the family. 449 00:34:19,787 --> 00:34:22,688 - Her mother needs an operation. - Urgently. 450 00:34:22,857 --> 00:34:24,518 - Adenoids. - No, Benny. 451 00:34:25,860 --> 00:34:27,293 Lumbago. 452 00:34:28,062 --> 00:34:30,394 That gag's got whiskers on it. 453 00:34:31,566 --> 00:34:33,158 He ain't biting, Benny. 454 00:34:33,234 --> 00:34:36,067 - She's losing him, Lou. - Maybe he's wise. 455 00:34:36,704 --> 00:34:38,399 He don't look wise. 456 00:34:38,973 --> 00:34:41,737 - How does she pull this out? - He's getting away. 457 00:34:41,809 --> 00:34:43,367 She better think fast. 458 00:34:43,711 --> 00:34:45,042 She isn't. 459 00:34:45,379 --> 00:34:46,812 She is! 460 00:34:47,915 --> 00:34:49,280 She's good, Benny. 461 00:34:49,917 --> 00:34:51,407 She's damn good, Lou. 462 00:34:52,787 --> 00:34:54,880 Can I get you boys anything else? 463 00:34:57,191 --> 00:34:58,351 Bromo. 464 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:00,320 Bromo. 465 00:35:02,296 --> 00:35:06,062 I'm sorry we had to take the stairs. It was just that horrible elevator boy! 466 00:35:06,134 --> 00:35:09,228 I can't say how much I appreciate your listening to my story. 467 00:35:09,303 --> 00:35:13,740 I'm lucky to find someone in this bustling city with a stout heart and a ready ear. 468 00:35:14,308 --> 00:35:16,606 There I was, travelling through this great country. 469 00:35:16,677 --> 00:35:19,043 Some I met were kind to me, others exceedingly cruel. 470 00:35:19,113 --> 00:35:21,513 Traveling by motor bus, rail, even by thumb.... 471 00:35:21,582 --> 00:35:22,981 The couch, please. 472 00:35:23,117 --> 00:35:26,518 Hoarding every dollar, counting every nickel, pinching every penny. 473 00:35:26,787 --> 00:35:29,483 It's been a long road leading to the coffee shop downstairs. 474 00:35:29,557 --> 00:35:32,924 Not that I'd trade a day, an hour, a moment of it for anything. 475 00:35:33,261 --> 00:35:34,853 I don't know what came over me. 476 00:35:34,929 --> 00:35:37,227 I guess it was the shock of eating after so long... 477 00:35:37,298 --> 00:35:39,664 ...without the enzymes kicking in after so long.... 478 00:35:43,804 --> 00:35:47,433 Then you couldn't possibly know what it is to be tired and hungry. 479 00:35:47,642 --> 00:35:48,666 Hungry, anyway. 480 00:35:48,743 --> 00:35:51,871 I don't want to bore you with details of my life. It's not happy. 481 00:35:51,946 --> 00:35:54,380 Suffice to say I'm jobless, but not for want of trying. 482 00:35:54,448 --> 00:35:58,077 I'm friendless, with no one to take care of me and had you not come along... 483 00:35:58,152 --> 00:36:00,848 - ...exactly when you did.... - I, myself-- 484 00:36:00,988 --> 00:36:02,956 I arrived in town not ten days ago... 485 00:36:03,024 --> 00:36:06,221 ...full of dreams, anxious to make my way in the world... 486 00:36:06,294 --> 00:36:09,092 ...a little naive perhaps, but armed with determination... 487 00:36:09,163 --> 00:36:11,791 ...a solid work ethic, and an indomitable belief in the future... 488 00:36:11,866 --> 00:36:13,766 - I, myself-- - ...only to have that belief... 489 00:36:13,834 --> 00:36:17,167 ...that unsullied optimism, dashed against the marble of the workplace. 490 00:36:17,271 --> 00:36:20,297 Such is life. Seek and ye shall find. Work and ye shall prosper. 491 00:36:20,374 --> 00:36:22,035 - Cigarette? - No, thank you. 492 00:36:22,143 --> 00:36:24,475 Seek and ye shall find, work and ye shall prosper. 493 00:36:24,545 --> 00:36:27,309 These were the watchwords, the ethos of my education... 494 00:36:27,381 --> 00:36:28,871 ...the values instilled in me... 495 00:36:28,950 --> 00:36:32,283 ...while I was growing up in a town you've probably never heard of. 496 00:36:32,353 --> 00:36:34,014 - Mind if I join you? - Be my guest. 497 00:36:34,088 --> 00:36:36,147 A town you've probably never heard of... 498 00:36:36,224 --> 00:36:39,091 ...a dusty crossroads of which you've probably never heard. 499 00:36:40,561 --> 00:36:43,257 Excuse me. Executive washroom. 500 00:36:46,534 --> 00:36:47,694 Are you all right? 501 00:36:50,238 --> 00:36:52,672 Is it your lunch? The chicken a la king? 502 00:36:55,409 --> 00:36:57,036 Is the a la king repeating on you? 503 00:36:57,545 --> 00:37:00,139 No, I'm fine. You were saying? 504 00:37:03,584 --> 00:37:05,984 Values, watchwords, tender years. 505 00:37:06,487 --> 00:37:09,115 A little town you've probably never heard of: 506 00:37:09,924 --> 00:37:11,255 Muncie, Indiana. 507 00:37:12,226 --> 00:37:13,523 You're from Muncie? 508 00:37:14,695 --> 00:37:15,684 Why, yes. 509 00:37:16,597 --> 00:37:17,859 Do you know it? 510 00:37:34,949 --> 00:37:39,716 "Fight on Fight on, dear old Muncie 511 00:37:40,488 --> 00:37:44,390 "Fight on Hoist the gold and blue 512 00:37:44,525 --> 00:37:48,461 "You'll be tattered, torn and hurting 513 00:37:48,529 --> 00:37:52,625 "Once the Munce is done with... 514 00:37:53,401 --> 00:37:54,891 "...you. 515 00:37:59,907 --> 00:38:01,238 "Go... 516 00:38:01,942 --> 00:38:02,874 "Go... 517 00:38:03,811 --> 00:38:04,641 "...Eagles! 518 00:38:04,712 --> 00:38:05,804 "...Eagles!" 519 00:38:09,650 --> 00:38:12,483 A Muncie girl! What do you know about that? 520 00:38:13,754 --> 00:38:16,985 I'm going to cancel the rest of my appointments for today... 521 00:38:17,124 --> 00:38:19,024 ...and get you a job right here at Hud. 522 00:38:19,093 --> 00:38:20,651 Oh, no! Really-- 523 00:38:20,928 --> 00:38:24,420 Don't bother to thank me. It's easy. I know where a vacancy just came up. 524 00:38:24,565 --> 00:38:25,623 Mailroom. 525 00:38:27,335 --> 00:38:29,064 Good afternoon, this is Norville Barnes. 526 00:38:29,136 --> 00:38:32,594 Barnes! Where the hell have you been? Where's my voucher? 527 00:38:34,141 --> 00:38:35,165 I'm not sure. 528 00:38:35,309 --> 00:38:38,176 I need that voucher! I told you a week ago it was important! 529 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,209 I'm president of the company now. 530 00:38:41,282 --> 00:38:44,774 I don't care if you're president of the company! 531 00:38:44,885 --> 00:38:47,012 I need the voucher now! 532 00:38:48,356 --> 00:38:50,449 Why don't you work in here with me? 533 00:38:50,624 --> 00:38:53,058 Are you familiar with the mimeograph machine? 534 00:38:53,127 --> 00:38:57,587 Well, of course. I went to the Muncie Secretarial Polytechnic. 535 00:38:57,865 --> 00:38:59,833 A Muncie girl! Can you beat that? 536 00:39:00,868 --> 00:39:03,530 I just don't know how to thank you, Mr. Barnes. 537 00:39:03,604 --> 00:39:04,662 Please, Norville. 538 00:39:05,806 --> 00:39:07,330 Go, Eagles! 539 00:39:07,742 --> 00:39:09,107 Go, Eagles! 540 00:39:12,713 --> 00:39:14,180 "Once the Munce...." 541 00:39:14,515 --> 00:39:15,948 Holy moly! 542 00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:19,280 Is this guy from Chumpsville? I even pulled the old mother routine. 543 00:39:19,353 --> 00:39:20,047 Adenoids? 544 00:39:20,121 --> 00:39:21,053 Lumbago. 545 00:39:21,655 --> 00:39:23,247 That gag's got whiskers on it. 546 00:39:23,324 --> 00:39:25,758 I'm telling you, the Hudsucker Board's up to something. 547 00:39:25,826 --> 00:39:28,795 What's a six-letter word for an affliction of the hypothalamus? 548 00:39:28,863 --> 00:39:31,991 It's a cinch. Goiter. It's a cinch this guy isn't in on it. 549 00:39:32,066 --> 00:39:33,090 She's right here. 550 00:39:33,167 --> 00:39:35,397 How much time to make the late final? 551 00:39:36,237 --> 00:39:38,671 Hi, Chief, just the person I wanted to apologize to. 552 00:39:38,739 --> 00:39:40,001 About seven minutes. 553 00:39:40,174 --> 00:39:42,335 I was all wet about your Idea Man. 554 00:39:42,943 --> 00:39:47,437 Well, thanks for being so generous. It is human and you are divine. 555 00:39:47,948 --> 00:39:49,779 No, he's no faker. 556 00:39:50,317 --> 00:39:53,684 He's a 100% real McCoy, beware of imitations, genuine article. 557 00:39:54,021 --> 00:39:57,354 The guy's a real moron, as in a five-letter word for imbecile. 558 00:39:57,525 --> 00:40:00,426 As pure a specimen as I've ever run across. 559 00:40:01,695 --> 00:40:03,128 If I'm not an expert... 560 00:40:03,197 --> 00:40:06,724 ...then my name isn't Amy Archer and I never won the Pulitzer. 561 00:40:07,168 --> 00:40:08,192 In 1957. 562 00:40:10,137 --> 00:40:12,162 My series on the reunited triplets. 563 00:40:12,506 --> 00:40:15,373 Come down here, hammerhead, and I'll show it to you! 564 00:40:15,443 --> 00:40:18,435 What's a three-letter word for a flightless bird? 565 00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:19,843 Not now, I'm busy. 566 00:40:20,114 --> 00:40:24,050 I said, "hammerhead" as in a ten-letter word for a smug, bullying newspaper man. 567 00:40:24,218 --> 00:40:26,015 Gnu. That's G-N-U. 568 00:40:26,086 --> 00:40:29,647 Couldn't find the Empire State Building with a compass, map and a guide. 569 00:40:29,723 --> 00:40:30,485 Or emu? 570 00:40:30,558 --> 00:40:34,289 That's just potatoes. Here's the gravy. The chump really liked me. 571 00:40:34,462 --> 00:40:37,295 - A Muncie girl! - Better off falling for a rattlesnake. 572 00:40:37,465 --> 00:40:40,059 This guy's just a patsy and I'm gonna find out what for. 573 00:40:40,134 --> 00:40:44,571 There's a real story here, some kind of plot, set-up.... Did I tell you? 574 00:40:44,672 --> 00:40:46,572 - He didn't offer you money? - A sawbuck! 575 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,665 Ten smackers! Let's grab a highball! 576 00:40:48,742 --> 00:40:50,175 On Norville Barnes. 577 00:40:51,545 --> 00:40:52,204 Copy! 578 00:41:22,109 --> 00:41:24,134 Miss Smith, would you come in and take a letter? 579 00:41:25,446 --> 00:41:27,141 Of all the cockamamie.... 580 00:41:29,483 --> 00:41:32,281 Did you see the front page of today's Manhattan Argus? 581 00:41:32,353 --> 00:41:36,517 I didn't bother to read the article. I didn't think the picture did you justice. 582 00:41:37,191 --> 00:41:38,681 The picture's fine. 583 00:41:38,759 --> 00:41:41,284 It's what that knuckle-headed dame wrote underneath. 584 00:41:42,630 --> 00:41:43,892 Take this down. 585 00:41:44,131 --> 00:41:45,564 Dear Miss Archer: 586 00:41:46,433 --> 00:41:49,960 I call you "Miss" because you seem to have missed the boat completely. 587 00:41:50,037 --> 00:41:52,028 How would you know if I'm an imbecile... 588 00:41:52,106 --> 00:41:55,075 ...when you didn't have the guts to interview me man-to-man! 589 00:41:55,142 --> 00:41:56,734 Change "man-to-man" to "face-to-face." 590 00:41:56,810 --> 00:42:00,246 No, change "face-to-face" to "eye-to-eye" and "guts" to "common decency." 591 00:42:00,314 --> 00:42:02,475 These wild speculations about my intelligence... 592 00:42:02,550 --> 00:42:04,882 ...these preposterous inventions would be better suited... 593 00:42:04,952 --> 00:42:07,819 ...for the pages of Amazing Tales Magazine. 594 00:42:08,055 --> 00:42:10,580 If the editors of the Manhattan Argus see fit... 595 00:42:10,658 --> 00:42:15,027 ...to publish the work of a disordered mind, perhaps they will see fit to publish this. 596 00:42:15,095 --> 00:42:16,255 But I doubt it. 597 00:42:16,330 --> 00:42:20,323 I most seriously doubt it. I doubt also you could find a home at Amazing Tales... 598 00:42:20,401 --> 00:42:23,893 ...a periodical which I have enjoyed for many years. Sincerely... 599 00:42:24,238 --> 00:42:25,432 ...et cetera. 600 00:42:32,780 --> 00:42:34,475 Is that all, Mr. Barnes? 601 00:42:36,850 --> 00:42:40,342 You know me, Amy, better than this dame. Do you think I'm an imbecile? 602 00:42:40,688 --> 00:42:42,053 Well, I'm sure I.... 603 00:42:42,389 --> 00:42:45,756 Tell the truth. I trust you. I place a lot of stock in your opinion. 604 00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:49,492 Oh, sure, you're biased. 605 00:42:49,930 --> 00:42:51,420 You're a fellow Muncian. 606 00:42:52,399 --> 00:42:54,060 But let me ask you a question: 607 00:42:54,368 --> 00:42:56,666 Would an imbecile come up with this? 608 00:43:03,043 --> 00:43:04,533 I designed it myself. 609 00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:08,910 This sweet baby will put Hudsucker right back on top. 610 00:43:11,652 --> 00:43:12,914 You know, for kids. 611 00:43:16,323 --> 00:43:18,553 Why don't I just type this up? 612 00:43:18,726 --> 00:43:21,627 That won't be necessary. I shouldn't send it. 613 00:43:21,795 --> 00:43:23,786 She's just doing her job, I guess. 614 00:43:24,398 --> 00:43:26,491 I don't know, maybe she does deserve it. 615 00:43:27,101 --> 00:43:30,127 Maybe she should have come in here and faced you man-to-man. 616 00:43:30,204 --> 00:43:34,072 - She probably had a deadline. - She still could've gotten your side... 617 00:43:34,441 --> 00:43:35,703 ...for the record. 618 00:43:35,776 --> 00:43:38,472 It's done now. What's the use of grousing about it? 619 00:43:38,746 --> 00:43:41,647 Forget the letter, I just had to blow off steam. 620 00:43:42,116 --> 00:43:44,209 She's probably just a little confused. 621 00:43:45,653 --> 00:43:46,517 "Confused?" 622 00:43:46,587 --> 00:43:49,954 Probably a fast-talking career gal, thinks she's one of the boys. 623 00:43:50,024 --> 00:43:51,924 Probably is, if you know what I mean. 624 00:43:51,992 --> 00:43:54,586 I'm quite sure I don't know what you mean. 625 00:43:54,695 --> 00:43:57,562 Probably suffers from one of these complexes they have nowadays. 626 00:43:57,631 --> 00:44:01,431 It's obvious. She's probably very unattractive and bitter about it. 627 00:44:01,602 --> 00:44:02,762 Is that it? 628 00:44:03,637 --> 00:44:07,471 She probably dresses in men's clothing, drinks with the guys at the local bar... 629 00:44:07,541 --> 00:44:11,602 ...hobnobs with some smooth-talking heel reporter named Biff or Smoocher or-- 630 00:44:11,679 --> 00:44:12,441 Smitty. 631 00:44:12,513 --> 00:44:15,038 Exactly. I bet she's ugly, real ugly. 632 00:44:15,115 --> 00:44:17,549 Otherwise, why isn't her picture next to her byline? 633 00:44:17,618 --> 00:44:21,179 Maybe she puts her work ahead of her personal appearance. 634 00:44:21,355 --> 00:44:23,255 I bet that's what she tells herself. 635 00:44:23,323 --> 00:44:26,554 But you and I know she's a dried-up, bitter old maid. 636 00:44:27,394 --> 00:44:29,919 How about we grab a little dinner and a show after work? 637 00:44:29,997 --> 00:44:31,897 I was thinking maybe The King and I? 638 00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:34,364 How about Oklahoma? 639 00:44:34,601 --> 00:44:37,126 You don't know a thing about that woman! 640 00:44:37,204 --> 00:44:41,140 You don't know who she really is! Only a numbskull thinks he knows things... 641 00:44:41,208 --> 00:44:43,438 ...about things he knows nothing about. 642 00:44:45,312 --> 00:44:47,041 Say, what gives? 643 00:46:54,274 --> 00:46:57,835 The inventory of the Jacksonville facility should be reduced... 644 00:46:58,011 --> 00:47:01,105 ...by 15%. Memo from the desk of Sidney J. Mussburger-- 645 00:47:01,281 --> 00:47:03,613 What are you doing, Miss Archer? 646 00:47:13,126 --> 00:47:15,993 Who are you? How did you know who I am? 647 00:47:18,565 --> 00:47:21,932 I suspect Old Moses knows just about everything... 648 00:47:22,469 --> 00:47:24,903 ...leastways if it concerns Hudsucker. 649 00:47:25,405 --> 00:47:27,464 Who are you? What do you do here? 650 00:47:27,808 --> 00:47:29,708 I keep the old circle turning. 651 00:47:30,143 --> 00:47:32,338 This old clock needs plenty of care. 652 00:47:33,146 --> 00:47:34,909 Time is money, Miss Archer. 653 00:47:35,582 --> 00:47:38,380 Money drives that old global economy... 654 00:47:38,452 --> 00:47:40,852 ...and keeps Big Daddy Earth spinning around. 655 00:47:40,988 --> 00:47:43,650 See, without that capital formation-- 656 00:47:45,559 --> 00:47:47,823 You won't tell anyone about me, will you? 657 00:47:47,995 --> 00:47:50,429 I don't tell no one nothing... 658 00:47:51,164 --> 00:47:52,597 ...unless they ask. 659 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,991 That just ain't Old Moses' way. 660 00:47:55,869 --> 00:47:57,530 If you know everything about Hudsucker... 661 00:47:57,604 --> 00:48:01,165 ...tell me why the board decided to make Norville Barnes president? 662 00:48:01,541 --> 00:48:04,203 That even surprised Old Moses at first. 663 00:48:04,811 --> 00:48:06,972 I didn't think the board was that smart. 664 00:48:07,047 --> 00:48:07,979 "That smart?" 665 00:48:08,048 --> 00:48:11,017 But then I figured it out. They did it because... 666 00:48:11,084 --> 00:48:14,918 ...they figured young Norville for an imbecile, like some other people I know. 667 00:48:15,422 --> 00:48:18,585 Why on earth would the board want a nitwit to be president? 668 00:48:18,825 --> 00:48:22,886 Because they're little piglets. They're trying to inspire panic... 669 00:48:23,530 --> 00:48:26,966 ...make that stock cheap so they can snatch it all up for themselves. 670 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:30,658 But Norville's got some tricks up his sleeve. He does. 671 00:48:31,305 --> 00:48:32,772 "You know, for kids?" 672 00:48:34,675 --> 00:48:37,439 Yeah, he's a smart one, that Norville. 673 00:48:38,278 --> 00:48:43,181 But I guess you don't really know him any better than that board does, do you? 674 00:48:43,884 --> 00:48:44,816 Maybe I-- 675 00:48:44,885 --> 00:48:49,447 And only some kind of knuckle-head thinks she knows things about things.... 676 00:48:50,724 --> 00:48:52,282 When she don't.... 677 00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:54,788 How'd that go? 678 00:48:55,028 --> 00:48:56,825 Well, it's hardly the same. 679 00:48:57,130 --> 00:48:59,360 You don't even know your own self. 680 00:48:59,733 --> 00:49:03,294 You ain't exactly the genuine article, are you, Miss Archer? 681 00:49:03,637 --> 00:49:08,631 In connection with my job, sometimes I have to go undercover, as it were. 682 00:49:08,742 --> 00:49:10,232 I don't mean that. 683 00:49:10,577 --> 00:49:14,411 Why are you pretending to be such a hard old sourpuss? 684 00:49:15,048 --> 00:49:17,175 Ain't going to never make you happy! 685 00:49:19,152 --> 00:49:20,779 I'm happy enough. 686 00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,625 I got gears to see to. 687 00:49:33,500 --> 00:49:35,024 I'm plenty happy! 688 00:49:45,746 --> 00:49:46,974 I can't print that! 689 00:49:47,047 --> 00:49:50,847 Why not? It's true. The board's using him to depress the stock and buy it cheap. 690 00:49:50,917 --> 00:49:53,852 It's pure speculation! They'd have my butt in a satchel! 691 00:49:54,855 --> 00:49:56,345 They'll buy that stock-- 692 00:49:56,423 --> 00:50:00,018 You don't know anything. They haven't bought it. What are they waiting for? 693 00:50:00,093 --> 00:50:00,787 I don't know. 694 00:50:00,861 --> 00:50:03,227 Amy's hunches are usually pretty good. 695 00:50:03,296 --> 00:50:06,060 You don't accuse somebody of stock manipulation on a hunch! 696 00:50:06,133 --> 00:50:09,034 Our readers aren't interested in sensationalism, gossip... 697 00:50:09,102 --> 00:50:10,467 ...unsupported speculation! 698 00:50:10,537 --> 00:50:13,529 Facts! Figures! Those are the tools of the newspaper trade. 699 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:17,337 It's as if you're trying to take the heat off him. Like you've gone soft on him. 700 00:50:17,411 --> 00:50:19,572 Come on, Chief. That's a low blow. 701 00:50:19,646 --> 00:50:22,410 Archer's not going to go gooey for a corn-fed idiot. 702 00:50:22,482 --> 00:50:25,918 I was out of line. But you're out of line with this stock-swindle story. 703 00:50:25,986 --> 00:50:28,580 Give me more of that "moron from Sheboygan" stuff. 704 00:50:28,655 --> 00:50:29,815 - Muncie. - Whatever. 705 00:50:29,890 --> 00:50:31,551 That's what sells newspapers! 706 00:50:31,625 --> 00:50:34,321 I've got a harder story: "The Sap From The City Desk!" 707 00:50:34,394 --> 00:50:36,919 - Watch it! - It's about a dim-witted editor who-- 708 00:50:36,997 --> 00:50:38,328 Easy, tough guy. 709 00:50:41,668 --> 00:50:43,795 Does this suit look mannish to you? 710 00:50:43,904 --> 00:50:46,031 Yeah, sure. Let's grab a highball. 711 00:50:47,007 --> 00:50:48,065 Back off! 712 00:50:48,508 --> 00:50:49,668 Smoocher! 713 00:50:52,479 --> 00:50:53,707 What gives? 714 00:51:09,563 --> 00:51:12,555 A man of great managerial potency. 715 00:51:13,166 --> 00:51:15,498 My husband is also a president. 716 00:51:15,669 --> 00:51:19,002 Sears Braithwaite of Bullard. Do you know him? 717 00:51:19,272 --> 00:51:21,399 Your companion is an ode! 718 00:51:21,575 --> 00:51:24,203 A lyric! Are you betrothed? 719 00:51:24,311 --> 00:51:26,836 Amy works in my office. She runs-- 720 00:51:26,913 --> 00:51:29,074 Oh, the folly of youth! 721 00:51:29,249 --> 00:51:31,240 Those green remembered hills! 722 00:51:31,318 --> 00:51:34,583 That bourn from which no traveler returns. 723 00:51:35,088 --> 00:51:37,420 I once ran the mimeograph for Sidney. 724 00:51:37,591 --> 00:51:40,685 Though engaged at the time to quelqu'un d'autre... 725 00:51:41,094 --> 00:51:44,427 ...my water-cooler romance became a mad passion. 726 00:51:44,865 --> 00:51:47,766 Un amour fou. Une folie a deux. 727 00:51:50,036 --> 00:51:52,732 I'm brushing up on my French with the most charming man... 728 00:51:52,806 --> 00:51:56,469 - ...Pierre of 5th Avenue. Do you know him? - Do you know him? 729 00:51:56,543 --> 00:52:01,207 Sidney and I are planning a trip to Paris and points continental. 730 00:52:04,551 --> 00:52:05,711 Aren't we, dear? 731 00:52:06,620 --> 00:52:10,386 Sure. I'd like to borrow Norville for a while, if you don't mind. 732 00:52:11,958 --> 00:52:13,619 Well, frankly, I.... 733 00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:16,724 You have a very charming wife, Mr.... Sid. 734 00:52:16,897 --> 00:52:18,194 So they tell me. 735 00:52:18,865 --> 00:52:22,062 Let me shepherd you through some of the introductions here. 736 00:52:22,235 --> 00:52:24,226 Try not to talk too much. 737 00:52:24,738 --> 00:52:26,899 Some of our biggest stockholders are.... 738 00:52:27,641 --> 00:52:29,268 Scratch that. Say whatever you like. 739 00:52:29,342 --> 00:52:32,140 Shake hands with Sears Braithwaite of Bullard. 740 00:52:32,479 --> 00:52:34,106 Glad to know you, Barnes. 741 00:52:34,481 --> 00:52:36,278 This is Zebulon Cardozo... 742 00:52:36,349 --> 00:52:39,477 ...one of Hudsucker's largest and most loyal stockholders. 743 00:52:39,586 --> 00:52:41,986 What's this I hear about you being an imbecile? 744 00:52:42,055 --> 00:52:43,716 What's ailing you, boy? 745 00:52:43,857 --> 00:52:47,987 Last week, my stock was worth twice what it is now. I think I'll sell... 746 00:52:48,061 --> 00:52:52,122 ...the whole kit and caboodle, boy, unless I see a vast improvement. 747 00:52:52,499 --> 00:52:55,093 What you've got here, son, is a range war! 748 00:52:55,268 --> 00:52:59,136 You gonna have to circle our wagons or I'm gonna get out of your wagon train. 749 00:53:00,707 --> 00:53:02,902 No need for concern, sir. It's only natural... 750 00:53:03,009 --> 00:53:06,206 ...in a period of transition for the more timid elements to run for cover. 751 00:53:06,279 --> 00:53:09,305 Yellow? I'll show you yellow, boy! 752 00:53:10,050 --> 00:53:13,076 You mind now and quit acting like such an old grizzly. 753 00:53:13,286 --> 00:53:15,151 Step lively here, Norville. 754 00:53:15,689 --> 00:53:18,886 I'm sorry, I thought maybe if I showed him the long view-- 755 00:53:19,159 --> 00:53:21,957 And this is Thorstensen Finlandson... 756 00:53:22,195 --> 00:53:24,959 ...who heads a radical, splinter group of disgruntled investors. 757 00:53:25,031 --> 00:53:26,464 Pleased to meet you. 758 00:53:26,533 --> 00:53:30,060 It might interest you to know I studied a little Finnish in high school. 759 00:53:30,136 --> 00:53:31,797 I hope I'm not too rusty. 760 00:53:39,546 --> 00:53:43,073 Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished members of the Hudsucker Board... 761 00:53:43,149 --> 00:53:47,381 ...I give you the Rajah of Romance, the Ministereo of Moonlight... 762 00:53:47,754 --> 00:53:50,120 ...the incredible, the unforgettable... 763 00:53:50,223 --> 00:53:53,158 ...Mr. Vic Tenetta! 764 00:53:59,899 --> 00:54:01,628 "Rajah." I like that. 765 00:54:44,711 --> 00:54:46,110 What happened? 766 00:54:47,547 --> 00:54:52,041 Nothing. Just the more timid investors are no longer running for cover. 767 00:54:52,218 --> 00:54:53,344 Let me look. 768 00:54:53,953 --> 00:54:55,318 Sid found me the ice pack. 769 00:54:55,388 --> 00:54:58,084 Let me hold it or you'll have a real shiner. 770 00:54:59,492 --> 00:55:02,256 I guess people are pretty hot over this imbecile story. 771 00:55:02,896 --> 00:55:04,227 I'm sorry. 772 00:55:04,931 --> 00:55:08,890 It's not your fault. You've the one person standing by me through all this. 773 00:55:08,968 --> 00:55:11,766 Norville, there's something I have to tell you. 774 00:55:12,739 --> 00:55:13,797 You see... 775 00:55:14,474 --> 00:55:16,442 ...I’m not really a secretary. 776 00:55:17,410 --> 00:55:18,570 I know that, Amy. 777 00:55:18,645 --> 00:55:19,634 You do? 778 00:55:19,846 --> 00:55:22,974 I understand you're not very skilled yet in the secretarial arts... 779 00:55:23,049 --> 00:55:26,177 ...but I'll tell you a secret: I'm not that skilled as president. 780 00:55:26,252 --> 00:55:29,688 - I know I put up a big front, but-- - I believe in you, Norville. 781 00:55:31,358 --> 00:55:32,450 At least... 782 00:55:32,992 --> 00:55:35,426 ...I believe in your intentions. 783 00:55:35,662 --> 00:55:39,120 I don't blame them, really. I suppose I have made a mess of things. 784 00:55:39,766 --> 00:55:42,030 Those folks have to protect their investment. 785 00:55:42,102 --> 00:55:43,694 Most of them are very nice people. 786 00:55:43,770 --> 00:55:47,206 Listen, you can't trust people here like you did in Muncie. 787 00:55:47,273 --> 00:55:49,332 Certain people are-- 788 00:55:49,409 --> 00:55:53,368 Did you ever go to the top of Larson's feed tower and look out over the town? 789 00:55:54,347 --> 00:55:55,712 On Farm Route 17? 790 00:55:56,116 --> 00:55:58,550 Oh, yes, in Muncie. 791 00:55:59,786 --> 00:56:02,448 No, Vidalia. Farm Route 17. 792 00:56:04,157 --> 00:56:07,558 Seventeen. Yes, I.... Well, no, no. I never really-- 793 00:56:09,362 --> 00:56:13,128 The guys from the Varsity Squad would bring their dates up there... 794 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:15,531 ...to hold hands. 795 00:56:16,369 --> 00:56:18,599 Of course, I never made Varsity. 796 00:56:21,307 --> 00:56:23,104 There's a place I go now. 797 00:56:23,977 --> 00:56:27,003 Cutest little place near my apartment in Greenwich Village. 798 00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,048 It's called "Ann's 440." 799 00:56:29,382 --> 00:56:30,815 It's a beatnik bar. 800 00:56:30,884 --> 00:56:32,317 - You don't say? - Yes. 801 00:56:32,385 --> 00:56:33,374 A beatnik bar. 802 00:56:33,453 --> 00:56:36,980 You can get carrot juice or Italian coffee and the people there... 803 00:56:37,590 --> 00:56:39,319 Well, none of them quite fit in. 804 00:56:39,926 --> 00:56:41,154 You'd love it. 805 00:56:41,661 --> 00:56:43,094 Come there with me. 806 00:56:43,596 --> 00:56:46,463 There's a marathon poetry-reading on New Year's Eve. I go every year. 807 00:56:46,533 --> 00:56:48,797 - It's marvelous! - Every year? 808 00:56:51,004 --> 00:56:55,407 Well, this year, if it's good, I plan to make it a tradition. 809 00:56:57,677 --> 00:56:59,611 My, it certainly is beautiful. 810 00:57:00,413 --> 00:57:01,937 The people... 811 00:57:02,415 --> 00:57:03,939 ...look like ants. 812 00:57:05,118 --> 00:57:08,281 The Hindus, and the beatniks also, say that... 813 00:57:08,855 --> 00:57:11,619 ...in our next lives some of us will come back as ants. 814 00:57:12,091 --> 00:57:16,255 Some will be butterflies, others will be elephants or creatures of the sea. 815 00:57:16,429 --> 00:57:17,896 What a beautiful thought. 816 00:57:18,064 --> 00:57:20,760 What do you think you were in a previous life? 817 00:57:21,868 --> 00:57:23,460 Oh, I don't know. 818 00:57:24,270 --> 00:57:25,760 Maybe I was just... 819 00:57:26,206 --> 00:57:30,336 ...a fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys. 820 00:57:30,443 --> 00:57:31,603 Oh, no, Amy. 821 00:57:31,878 --> 00:57:34,745 Pardon me for saying so, but I find that very far-fetched. 822 00:57:34,881 --> 00:57:38,874 - There really is something I must tell you. - That person would come back as a hog. 823 00:57:38,952 --> 00:57:41,682 I find it more likely that you were... 824 00:57:43,022 --> 00:57:44,080 ...a gazelle... 825 00:57:45,058 --> 00:57:48,687 ...with long, graceful legs, gamboling through the underbrush. 826 00:57:49,562 --> 00:57:51,154 Perhaps we met once. 827 00:57:51,898 --> 00:57:54,594 A chance encounter in a forest glade. 828 00:57:56,569 --> 00:57:59,094 I must have been an antelope or an ibex. 829 00:58:00,306 --> 00:58:03,867 The times we must've had foraging together for sustenance... 830 00:58:04,811 --> 00:58:07,405 ...snorfling water from a mountain stream... 831 00:58:07,981 --> 00:58:11,576 ...picking the grubs and burrs from one another's coats. 832 00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:18,882 Or perhaps we simply touched horns briefly and went our separate ways. 833 00:58:20,193 --> 00:58:22,821 Oh, I wish it were that simple, Norville. 834 00:58:24,264 --> 00:58:28,462 I wish I was still a gazelle and you were an antelope... 835 00:58:29,335 --> 00:58:30,666 ...or an ibex. 836 00:58:35,275 --> 00:58:36,902 Can I at least call you... 837 00:58:37,210 --> 00:58:38,268 ...deer? 838 00:58:41,414 --> 00:58:42,540 You're funny. 839 00:58:42,615 --> 00:58:45,880 Seriously, Amy, it's what your beatnik friends call "karma." 840 00:58:46,119 --> 00:58:46,949 Karma. 841 00:58:47,020 --> 00:58:49,989 The great circle of life, death and rebirth. 842 00:58:50,156 --> 00:58:53,853 I think I heard of that. What goes around comes around. 843 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:57,487 That's it. A great wheel that gives us all what we deserve. 844 00:58:58,865 --> 00:59:02,096 I've go to show Sid and all the guys I deserve their confidence. 845 00:59:02,168 --> 00:59:04,636 Tomorrow's my big presentation to the board. 846 00:59:07,140 --> 00:59:08,368 Kiss me, Amy! 847 00:59:08,741 --> 00:59:10,299 Kiss me once for luck. 848 00:59:11,711 --> 00:59:12,973 Sure, Norville. 849 00:59:54,420 --> 00:59:55,785 You know, for kids! 850 00:59:56,089 --> 00:59:59,957 It has economy, simplicity, low production cost, potential for mass appeal. 851 01:00:00,026 --> 01:00:02,324 All that spells out great profitability. 852 01:00:02,395 --> 01:00:05,125 I had the boys at R&D make this prototype... 853 01:00:05,198 --> 01:00:07,166 ...so our discussion could have some focus... 854 01:00:07,233 --> 01:00:11,135 ...and to give you gentleman a firsthand look at how exciting this gizmo is. 855 01:00:11,204 --> 01:00:14,605 It's fun, healthy, good exercise, and the kids'll love it. 856 01:00:14,741 --> 01:00:17,801 We put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant. 857 01:00:17,877 --> 01:00:21,210 The great part is we don't have to charge an arm and a leg. 858 01:00:23,850 --> 01:00:26,717 - What if you tire before it's done? - Does it have rules? 859 01:00:26,786 --> 01:00:28,947 - Can more than one play? - Why is it a game? 860 01:00:29,022 --> 01:00:30,614 - Is it a game? - Will it break? 861 01:00:30,690 --> 01:00:32,885 - It better break eventually. - Is there an object? 862 01:00:32,959 --> 01:00:35,621 - What if you tire before it's done? - Does it have batteries? 863 01:00:35,695 --> 01:00:38,562 - Could we charge extra for them? - Is it safe for toddlers? 864 01:00:38,631 --> 01:00:41,031 - How do you know you're finished? - How does it stop? 865 01:00:41,100 --> 01:00:43,728 - Is that a boy's model? - Can a parent assemble it? 866 01:00:43,836 --> 01:00:48,068 - What if you tire before it's done? - Is there a larger model for the obese? 867 01:00:48,141 --> 01:00:50,336 What the hell is it? 868 01:00:50,410 --> 01:00:51,741 Well, it's.... 869 01:00:55,548 --> 01:00:56,640 Brilliant! 870 01:00:58,551 --> 01:00:59,643 Genius. 871 01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:04,247 It's exactly what Hudsucker Industry needs at this juncture. 872 01:01:05,158 --> 01:01:09,618 Even a blind man can tell you there'll be an enormous demand for this... 873 01:01:11,097 --> 01:01:12,155 ...this.... 874 01:01:13,066 --> 01:01:14,124 Congratulations. 875 01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:16,725 You've outdone yourself. You've reinvented the wheel. 876 01:01:16,803 --> 01:01:19,772 I'll recommend to the board that we proceed immediately... 877 01:01:21,474 --> 01:01:22,839 ...and that the... 878 01:01:24,577 --> 01:01:27,307 ...dingus be mass-produced with all deliberate speed. 879 01:01:27,714 --> 01:01:29,477 Although, you realize... 880 01:01:29,949 --> 01:01:31,211 ...of course... 881 01:01:34,420 --> 01:01:35,785 ...as president... 882 01:01:36,122 --> 01:01:38,113 ...the ultimate decision is yours. 883 01:01:39,325 --> 01:01:40,587 I'm for it. 884 01:02:29,342 --> 01:02:30,639 The Flying Doughnut! 885 01:02:30,710 --> 01:02:33,076 - The Dancing Dingus! - The Belly-Go-Round. 886 01:02:33,146 --> 01:02:34,408 The Swingerina! 887 01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:35,947 The Wacky Circumference! 888 01:02:36,015 --> 01:02:37,846 Uncle Midriff! 889 01:03:08,648 --> 01:03:10,445 - We need something short! - Sharp! 890 01:03:10,516 --> 01:03:11,244 Snappy! 891 01:03:11,317 --> 01:03:13,785 - With a little jazz! - The Shazzammeter! 892 01:03:13,853 --> 01:03:16,083 - The Hipster! - The Daddy-O! 893 01:03:57,363 --> 01:03:59,058 - The Hoopsucker. - The Hudswinger. 894 01:03:59,131 --> 01:04:01,361 - The Hoopsucker! - The Hudswinger! 895 01:04:01,434 --> 01:04:03,163 - The Hoopsucker! - The Hudswinger! 896 01:04:31,264 --> 01:04:33,425 - Fellas! - You got something? 897 01:04:35,134 --> 01:04:36,897 I got something! 898 01:07:49,028 --> 01:07:53,192 Rockwell News presents: Tidbits of Time. 899 01:07:53,566 --> 01:07:56,262 World news in pictures, we kid you not! 900 01:07:56,669 --> 01:07:59,900 As Old Man 1958 hobbles towards his finish... 901 01:08:00,473 --> 01:08:02,907 ...Barnes is the name on every American lip. 902 01:08:03,075 --> 01:08:06,602 Norville Barnes, young president of Hudsucker Industries... 903 01:08:06,679 --> 01:08:10,342 ...a boy bred in the heartland, but now the toast of New York. 904 01:08:10,816 --> 01:08:15,344 Barnes is the brainy inventor of America's craziest craze: The Hula Hoop! 905 01:08:15,888 --> 01:08:19,585 Reaping huge profits for his company and winning the hearts... 906 01:08:19,892 --> 01:08:22,417 ...and hips of every youngster in America! 907 01:08:23,896 --> 01:08:25,363 Did I say youngster? 908 01:08:25,598 --> 01:08:28,590 Here's Mom taking a break from her household chores... 909 01:08:29,335 --> 01:08:31,803 ...and even Dad is swinging into the act! 910 01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:38,240 Cards, letters, congratulations come pouring in from Kankakee to Petaluma... 911 01:08:38,611 --> 01:08:41,808 ...including one very special long-distance call. 912 01:08:42,081 --> 01:08:44,015 He's on! He's on the line! 913 01:08:50,723 --> 01:08:52,987 Hello, Norville. This is the President. 914 01:08:53,459 --> 01:08:56,951 I just wanted to congratulate you. I'm very proud of you. 915 01:08:57,596 --> 01:08:59,962 Mrs. Eisenhower is very proud of you. 916 01:09:00,332 --> 01:09:02,892 The American people are very proud of you. 917 01:09:09,975 --> 01:09:12,967 How'd you come up with the idea for the Hula Hoop? 918 01:09:13,345 --> 01:09:15,279 It was no great idea, really. 919 01:09:15,381 --> 01:09:19,147 A thing like this takes a whole company to put together. I'm grateful. 920 01:09:19,451 --> 01:09:22,352 Did you have any idea there'd be such a huge response? 921 01:09:22,421 --> 01:09:25,515 Frankly, I don't think anybody expected this much hoopla. 922 01:09:27,426 --> 01:09:30,862 "Hoopla on the Hula Hoop." Can we quote you on that, Mr. Barnes? 923 01:09:30,996 --> 01:09:32,429 Sure, I guess. 924 01:09:33,132 --> 01:09:35,498 Will you give yourself a nice, fat raise? 925 01:09:36,769 --> 01:09:37,963 Come on, you guys. 926 01:09:45,578 --> 01:09:50,345 What scientific principle explains the motion of this wheel of wonder? 927 01:09:50,416 --> 01:09:52,577 The dingus is quite simple, really. 928 01:09:52,851 --> 01:09:57,015 It operates on the same principles that keep the earth spinning around the sun... 929 01:09:57,089 --> 01:10:01,583 ...and that keeps you from flying off the earth into the cold reaches of space... 930 01:10:01,694 --> 01:10:04,219 ...where you would die like a miserable Schwein. 931 01:10:04,296 --> 01:10:06,389 Yes, the principle is the same... 932 01:10:06,865 --> 01:10:11,063 ...except for the piece of grit they put in to make the experience... 933 01:10:11,837 --> 01:10:12,997 ...more pleasant. 934 01:10:13,072 --> 01:10:15,802 Yes, it's hula-hula everywhere! 935 01:10:15,874 --> 01:10:18,638 From the parties of the Park Avenue smart set... 936 01:10:21,814 --> 01:10:25,477 ...to sweethearts who want to be married in the swing of things. 937 01:10:29,855 --> 01:10:33,222 Did the board consider you an "Idea Man" when they promoted you? 938 01:10:33,292 --> 01:10:36,853 I guess. I don't think they promoted me because they thought I was a schmo. 939 01:10:36,929 --> 01:10:40,228 What's the next big idea for you and Hudsucker Industries? 940 01:10:40,299 --> 01:10:43,700 I don't know. An idea like this sweet baby doesn't just come overnight. 941 01:10:43,769 --> 01:10:48,035 Although, I'll tell you one thing: I certainly didn't expect all this hoopla. 942 01:10:48,841 --> 01:10:50,399 You can quote me on that. 943 01:10:58,050 --> 01:11:01,247 Rumpus Magazine has called you the most eligible bachelor of the year. 944 01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:04,448 And society pages have been linking you with fashion model Za-Za. 945 01:11:04,523 --> 01:11:08,550 There's no truth to the rumors. We're just dear friends. Isn't that right? 946 01:11:15,734 --> 01:11:20,000 How do you respond to the charges that you're out of ideas? Have you run dry? 947 01:11:20,139 --> 01:11:24,098 Not at all. Just this week I came up with several new sweet ideas. 948 01:11:24,476 --> 01:11:28,913 A larger model Hula Hoop for the portly, a battery option for the lazy or spastic. 949 01:11:29,048 --> 01:11:31,414 A model with extra sand for the hard-of-hearing. 950 01:11:31,483 --> 01:11:33,144 I'm earning my keep. 951 01:11:33,218 --> 01:11:35,880 Speaking of that, do you expect to get a raise? 952 01:11:36,188 --> 01:11:40,249 By anyone's account I single-handedly have saved Hudsucker Industries. 953 01:11:40,359 --> 01:11:44,955 Our stock is worth more now than ever. Yes, I expect to be compensated for that. 954 01:12:04,850 --> 01:12:06,647 Pull yourself together, man. 955 01:12:06,719 --> 01:12:08,186 Nobody told me! 956 01:12:09,154 --> 01:12:11,418 You sold all our stock? 957 01:12:11,857 --> 01:12:13,449 We dumped the whole load. 958 01:12:13,525 --> 01:12:15,891 I had 20,000 shares! 959 01:12:16,628 --> 01:12:18,323 I'd be a millionaire now! 960 01:12:18,430 --> 01:12:20,489 Sure. We'd all be millionaires. 961 01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:23,293 There's no point in looking back. 962 01:12:24,036 --> 01:12:27,972 At the time, Stillson thought that dumping our position would panic the market... 963 01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:30,031 ...further depress the stock. 964 01:12:30,309 --> 01:12:33,836 Then we could buy it back and more, of course, once it got cheap. 965 01:12:33,912 --> 01:12:34,879 Cheap? 966 01:12:35,314 --> 01:12:37,214 It's never been more valuable! 967 01:12:39,151 --> 01:12:40,413 And I'm ruined. 968 01:12:41,153 --> 01:12:42,142 Ruined! 969 01:12:49,428 --> 01:12:52,659 I'm getting off this merry-go-round! 970 01:13:02,775 --> 01:13:03,901 Plexiglass. 971 01:13:04,510 --> 01:13:06,273 Had it installed last week. 972 01:13:20,192 --> 01:13:21,887 So, the kid caught a wave. 973 01:13:23,595 --> 01:13:27,087 Right now, he and his dingus are on top. 974 01:13:27,699 --> 01:13:29,428 Well, this too shall pass. 975 01:13:30,369 --> 01:13:33,497 Myrtle J. Mussburger did not raise her boy to go... 976 01:13:34,039 --> 01:13:36,769 ...knock-kneed at the first sign of adversity. 977 01:13:36,842 --> 01:13:39,743 I say, we made this chump, we can break him! 978 01:13:40,612 --> 01:13:43,410 I say, the higher he climbs, the harder he drops! 979 01:13:45,284 --> 01:13:46,376 I say, yes... 980 01:13:47,286 --> 01:13:48,981 ...the kid has a future... 981 01:13:50,389 --> 01:13:51,651 ...and in it... 982 01:13:52,624 --> 01:13:54,649 ...I see shame, dishonor... 983 01:13:55,294 --> 01:13:57,091 ...ignominy, disgrace. 984 01:14:01,066 --> 01:14:03,296 The music plays, the wheel turns... 985 01:14:04,570 --> 01:14:06,595 ...and our spin ain't over yet. 986 01:14:31,330 --> 01:14:33,321 For Pete's sakes, Norville! 987 01:14:33,699 --> 01:14:35,599 Where have you been hiding? 988 01:14:35,767 --> 01:14:39,100 Do you know what those nincompoops in the boardroom are doing? 989 01:14:39,171 --> 01:14:40,798 I wouldn't call them nincompoops. 990 01:14:40,873 --> 01:14:43,364 They're going to discharge 8% of the workforce here! 991 01:14:43,442 --> 01:14:46,411 In New York City alone, that means 1,800 people out of work! 992 01:14:46,478 --> 01:14:48,878 People with wives, children and families! 993 01:14:49,181 --> 01:14:51,376 We're pruning away some of the dead wood. 994 01:14:51,450 --> 01:14:53,509 You mean you know about this? 995 01:14:53,585 --> 01:14:55,143 Know about it? Sure. 996 01:14:55,220 --> 01:14:58,383 You think the board would do anything without my authorization? 997 01:14:58,457 --> 01:14:59,924 It was my idea. 998 01:14:59,992 --> 01:15:01,323 - Your-- - Sure it was. 999 01:15:01,393 --> 01:15:04,328 We're in a period of transition. Things have slowed down. 1000 01:15:04,396 --> 01:15:07,194 You're being awfully kind to yourself, Norville Barnes. 1001 01:15:07,266 --> 01:15:10,702 You've slowed down, sitting up here not doing a lick of work. 1002 01:15:11,236 --> 01:15:16,139 You haven't come up with an idea since the Hoop and the reason is plain to see! 1003 01:15:16,208 --> 01:15:18,733 You've forgotten what made your ideas exciting to you. 1004 01:15:18,810 --> 01:15:21,176 It wasn't for the fame and wealth.... 1005 01:15:21,280 --> 01:15:25,114 Would you get out of here? You too, sisters, move it. Out! 1006 01:15:27,352 --> 01:15:30,515 I've been watching you, even though you've been trying to avoid me. 1007 01:15:30,689 --> 01:15:31,383 Shut up! 1008 01:15:31,456 --> 01:15:33,754 Don't think I haven't noticed how you've changed. 1009 01:15:33,825 --> 01:15:35,622 I used to think you were a swell guy. 1010 01:15:35,694 --> 01:15:37,753 To be honest, I thought you were an imbecile. 1011 01:15:38,163 --> 01:15:38,959 Shut up! 1012 01:15:39,031 --> 01:15:42,626 Then I figured out you were a swell guy. A little slow maybe, but a swell guy. 1013 01:15:42,701 --> 01:15:46,159 Maybe you're not so slow but you're not so swell either. 1014 01:15:46,238 --> 01:15:48,468 Looks like you're an imbecile, after all. Shut up! 1015 01:15:49,174 --> 01:15:52,610 You haven't talked to me for a week and now I'm going to say my piece. 1016 01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:54,703 Look, I've never been... 1017 01:15:55,681 --> 01:15:58,275 ...dumped by a fella before, and that hurts... 1018 01:15:58,650 --> 01:16:01,517 ...but what really hurts is watching you out-run your soul! 1019 01:16:01,587 --> 01:16:03,987 Chasing after money and ease and the respect of a board... 1020 01:16:04,056 --> 01:16:06,422 ...that wouldn't give you the time of day... 1021 01:16:06,491 --> 01:16:07,458 ...if you.... 1022 01:16:08,060 --> 01:16:09,459 Worked in a watch factory? 1023 01:16:11,029 --> 01:16:12,394 Shut up! Exactly. 1024 01:16:13,665 --> 01:16:17,192 Norville, don't you remember how you used to feel about the Hoop? 1025 01:16:17,769 --> 01:16:21,364 You told me you'd bring a smile to the hips of everyone in America... 1026 01:16:21,440 --> 01:16:23,408 ...regardless of race, creed or color. 1027 01:16:23,475 --> 01:16:27,104 Finally, there'd be a thingamajig that would bring everyone together... 1028 01:16:27,179 --> 01:16:29,511 ...even if it kept them apart spatially. 1029 01:16:29,948 --> 01:16:31,040 "You know... 1030 01:16:31,550 --> 01:16:32,574 "...for kids." 1031 01:16:33,452 --> 01:16:34,441 Your words... 1032 01:16:35,554 --> 01:16:36,680 ...not mine. 1033 01:16:38,056 --> 01:16:39,717 I used to love Norville Barnes. 1034 01:16:40,792 --> 01:16:42,157 Yes, love him... 1035 01:16:42,894 --> 01:16:46,921 ...when he was just a swell kid with hot ideas who was in over his head. 1036 01:16:47,666 --> 01:16:49,964 Now your head's too big to be in over! 1037 01:16:50,102 --> 01:16:52,002 Consider this my resignation. 1038 01:16:53,305 --> 01:16:54,772 Effective immediately! 1039 01:18:14,820 --> 01:18:16,617 Buddy, buddy. 1040 01:18:17,522 --> 01:18:18,546 Buddy. 1041 01:18:19,491 --> 01:18:20,822 Oh, buddy. 1042 01:18:30,602 --> 01:18:31,933 Buddy. You busy? 1043 01:18:33,772 --> 01:18:37,230 Looks like you nodded off there, buddy. Say, you got a minute? 1044 01:18:40,846 --> 01:18:42,211 Is this important? 1045 01:18:42,280 --> 01:18:45,579 I think so. It's this little idea I've been working on. 1046 01:18:45,650 --> 01:18:48,346 You see, I don't intend to be an elevator boy forever. 1047 01:18:48,420 --> 01:18:50,012 Take a look at this sweet baby! 1048 01:18:50,088 --> 01:18:52,522 Get it? Incredibly convenient, isn't it? 1049 01:18:52,624 --> 01:18:54,182 You know, for drinks? 1050 01:18:54,392 --> 01:18:58,351 This is how it works. It's got these ridges on the side that give it its whammy. 1051 01:18:58,463 --> 01:19:02,126 You don't have to drink like this. You can drink like this. 1052 01:19:02,234 --> 01:19:04,532 I call it the "Buzz-Sucker." You get it, buddy? 1053 01:19:04,603 --> 01:19:08,471 People are dying for this and we won't have to charge an arm and a leg. 1054 01:19:08,540 --> 01:19:09,768 Wait a minute. 1055 01:19:25,123 --> 01:19:26,112 This... 1056 01:19:29,227 --> 01:19:30,387 ...is worthless! 1057 01:19:30,695 --> 01:19:31,787 But, buddy! 1058 01:19:32,130 --> 01:19:35,065 This is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen in my life. 1059 01:19:35,133 --> 01:19:37,465 Nobody wants a hair-brained product like this. 1060 01:19:37,536 --> 01:19:38,662 You see, Buzz... 1061 01:19:38,737 --> 01:19:40,830 ...it lacks the creative spark... 1062 01:19:41,173 --> 01:19:44,199 ...the unalloyed genius that made something like, say... 1063 01:19:45,043 --> 01:19:46,738 ...the Hula Hoop such a success. 1064 01:19:46,812 --> 01:19:49,280 How dare you barge in here and take up my valuable time! 1065 01:19:49,347 --> 01:19:50,746 I've got a company to run! 1066 01:19:53,084 --> 01:19:55,985 I can't have every deadbeat on the payroll pestering me... 1067 01:19:56,054 --> 01:19:57,783 ...with their idiotic brainwaves. 1068 01:19:57,856 --> 01:19:59,084 I'm sorry, buddy. 1069 01:19:59,157 --> 01:20:00,385 An example must be made! 1070 01:20:00,859 --> 01:20:02,292 What do you mean? 1071 01:20:03,428 --> 01:20:04,588 You're fired! 1072 01:20:05,330 --> 01:20:07,423 Is that plain enough for you? 1073 01:20:12,771 --> 01:20:14,170 Oh, buddy! 1074 01:20:14,940 --> 01:20:16,601 And don't call me "buddy"! 1075 01:20:17,375 --> 01:20:21,436 Oh, please, sir! This job running the elevator, it's all I got! 1076 01:20:21,880 --> 01:20:23,939 It's okay if you don't like the Buzz-Sucker! 1077 01:20:24,015 --> 01:20:26,813 Just let me keep my job, I'm praying to you! 1078 01:20:27,686 --> 01:20:29,017 Get out of my office! 1079 01:20:29,521 --> 01:20:30,818 Get up! Up! 1080 01:20:31,957 --> 01:20:34,517 We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries! 1081 01:20:36,194 --> 01:20:37,491 I'm sorry, sir! 1082 01:20:37,662 --> 01:20:38,822 I'm sorry! 1083 01:20:53,311 --> 01:20:54,778 Thank you, Aloysius. 1084 01:20:59,885 --> 01:21:01,045 This is... 1085 01:21:02,888 --> 01:21:03,912 ...useful. 1086 01:21:22,040 --> 01:21:26,306 I'm sorry I'm late, Sid. That back nine at Riverdale's really murder. 1087 01:21:27,579 --> 01:21:30,480 It's a tough course. A real lollapalooza. 1088 01:21:32,017 --> 01:21:33,245 Sit down, son. 1089 01:21:36,621 --> 01:21:40,717 I thought the boardroom would be a swell place to chat undisturbed. 1090 01:21:41,860 --> 01:21:45,227 Seems we've got some security problems here at the Hud. 1091 01:21:46,364 --> 01:21:47,262 You don't say. 1092 01:21:47,332 --> 01:21:51,666 Ordinarily, I wouldn't bother you with it, but this is embarrassing. 1093 01:21:53,038 --> 01:21:55,199 It concerns you directly. 1094 01:21:55,540 --> 01:21:58,100 - How's that? - It's not serious in itself. 1095 01:21:58,777 --> 01:22:01,541 Some elevator boy that you'd fired came to me... 1096 01:22:02,147 --> 01:22:05,947 ...claiming that you'd stolen the idea for the dingus. 1097 01:22:06,284 --> 01:22:07,979 You'd stolen it from him. 1098 01:22:11,122 --> 01:22:13,556 - Maybe I was a little rough on him-- - Forget it. 1099 01:22:13,625 --> 01:22:17,254 You don't have to explain to me. He's a little person. He's nothing. 1100 01:22:17,329 --> 01:22:18,887 Fire whoever you want. 1101 01:22:20,899 --> 01:22:22,696 No, the problem is... 1102 01:22:23,335 --> 01:22:24,666 ...who you hired. 1103 01:22:25,136 --> 01:22:26,228 That dame. 1104 01:22:26,671 --> 01:22:28,263 A spy, as it turns out. 1105 01:22:29,207 --> 01:22:31,971 She must have gotten to that elevator schnook... 1106 01:22:32,744 --> 01:22:34,871 ...and her paper is going to town. 1107 01:22:35,981 --> 01:22:40,384 Sure, sure, we tried to kill the story, but the Argus won't play ball. 1108 01:22:42,253 --> 01:22:45,416 The problem the board will have is you hired this woman... 1109 01:22:45,790 --> 01:22:47,485 ...and you kept her on... 1110 01:22:47,826 --> 01:22:50,351 ...while she was making a chump out of you. 1111 01:22:50,929 --> 01:22:52,692 Serious error in judgement. 1112 01:22:54,265 --> 01:22:55,789 Business is war, kid. 1113 01:22:56,935 --> 01:22:59,426 Take no prisoners, give no second chances. 1114 01:23:03,274 --> 01:23:05,742 When the board meets after New Year's... 1115 01:23:05,910 --> 01:23:07,377 ...your position.... 1116 01:23:10,115 --> 01:23:11,878 Looks like you're finished. 1117 01:23:12,617 --> 01:23:13,675 Washed up. 1118 01:23:19,457 --> 01:23:21,425 Fourteenth hole at Riverdale... 1119 01:23:21,793 --> 01:23:23,351 ...some use a mashie... 1120 01:23:23,595 --> 01:23:25,085 ...some use a niblick. 1121 01:23:26,064 --> 01:23:27,122 Niblick. 1122 01:23:27,699 --> 01:23:29,963 You get more loft, more backspin. 1123 01:23:34,873 --> 01:23:35,999 That dame... 1124 01:23:37,475 --> 01:23:39,841 ...she got your throat pretty well slit. 1125 01:23:40,979 --> 01:23:42,970 When you're dead, you stay dead. 1126 01:23:43,848 --> 01:23:46,316 You don't believe me, ask Waring Hudsucker. 1127 01:23:48,620 --> 01:23:49,951 Tough luck, kid. 1128 01:23:50,622 --> 01:23:52,317 You had a short climb up. 1129 01:23:53,458 --> 01:23:54,982 It's a long way down. 1130 01:24:07,705 --> 01:24:11,266 - You can't print that! - We are! She hits the streets tonight. 1131 01:24:12,243 --> 01:24:13,972 And she's dynamite! 1132 01:24:14,045 --> 01:24:18,175 But it's the bunk! Norville showed me his design for the whatsit the day I met him. 1133 01:24:18,249 --> 01:24:21,047 Buzz couldn't have invented it. Look at him, he's an imbecile. 1134 01:24:21,119 --> 01:24:25,055 Aren't you a broken record? Gunderson did design it. He's a prodigy. 1135 01:24:25,190 --> 01:24:27,624 - Says who? - You're not the only one with sources. 1136 01:24:27,692 --> 01:24:30,320 Smith has a senior source on the Hud Board. Very senior. 1137 01:24:30,562 --> 01:24:32,792 I bet his initials are Sidney J. Mussburger. 1138 01:24:33,531 --> 01:24:36,193 You lost it. You gone soft, by the looks of it. 1139 01:24:36,267 --> 01:24:37,859 Soft on the dummy from Dubuque. 1140 01:24:38,903 --> 01:24:40,234 - Muncie. - Whatever! 1141 01:24:40,305 --> 01:24:44,207 This story's hot and you're no longer on top of it. It's the scoop of the century! 1142 01:24:44,275 --> 01:24:46,470 The other papers won't have this till tomorrow! 1143 01:24:46,544 --> 01:24:50,446 Allemeinisher Zeitung, Le Figaro will be choking on our dust come morning. 1144 01:24:50,515 --> 01:24:53,951 You're fools, both of you! You're being used, don't you see? 1145 01:24:54,285 --> 01:24:57,220 Take a break. You worked hard on this. You broke it for us. 1146 01:24:57,288 --> 01:24:59,722 But it's passed you by and Smith's taking up the slack. 1147 01:25:01,993 --> 01:25:03,324 You want slack... 1148 01:25:03,962 --> 01:25:05,293 ...I’ll give you slack! 1149 01:25:05,363 --> 01:25:09,800 You're not putting me out to pasture! I quit! Consider this my resignation! 1150 01:25:11,069 --> 01:25:12,661 Effective immediately! 1151 01:25:15,406 --> 01:25:16,395 Soft. 1152 01:25:25,783 --> 01:25:27,273 So, tell me... 1153 01:25:27,752 --> 01:25:30,380 ...why do you feel this woman betrayed you? 1154 01:25:32,757 --> 01:25:34,315 What's the difference? 1155 01:25:34,392 --> 01:25:37,156 The whole world, it seems, is against you? 1156 01:25:37,262 --> 01:25:38,524 I don't know. 1157 01:25:38,630 --> 01:25:40,393 Und the elevator boy... 1158 01:25:40,498 --> 01:25:43,661 ...Buzz, he too works against you? 1159 01:25:45,937 --> 01:25:46,961 Classic. 1160 01:25:47,338 --> 01:25:50,603 Patient displayed listlessness, apathy, gloomy indifference... 1161 01:25:50,675 --> 01:25:52,506 ...und was blue und mopey. 1162 01:25:53,011 --> 01:25:56,640 When asked what the Rorschach stains represented, patient replied: 1163 01:25:56,748 --> 01:26:00,809 "Nothing much. I don't know. Just a blotch. Sure beats me." 1164 01:26:01,586 --> 01:26:04,817 Patient shows no ambition, no get-up-and-go, no vim. 1165 01:26:05,523 --> 01:26:07,821 He is riding the grand loopen-ze-loop... 1166 01:26:08,193 --> 01:26:11,162 ...that goes from the height of delusional gaiety... 1167 01:26:11,229 --> 01:26:13,026 ...to the trough of despair. 1168 01:26:13,565 --> 01:26:16,363 He is now near, but not yet at his lowest point. 1169 01:26:16,768 --> 01:26:21,205 When he reaches bottom, he may erupt und pose a danger to himself... 1170 01:26:21,439 --> 01:26:22,428 ...and others. 1171 01:26:22,640 --> 01:26:24,767 Diagnosis, Dr. Bromfenbrenner? 1172 01:26:25,009 --> 01:26:28,001 Patient is eine manic-depressive paranoid, type B... 1173 01:26:28,179 --> 01:26:29,976 ...with acute schizoid tendencies. 1174 01:26:30,348 --> 01:26:32,111 So, patient is...? 1175 01:26:33,785 --> 01:26:34,843 Precisely. 1176 01:26:35,520 --> 01:26:36,544 Nuts! 1177 01:26:37,021 --> 01:26:38,249 Prescription? 1178 01:26:38,423 --> 01:26:40,391 Three things: Commitment... 1179 01:26:40,992 --> 01:26:43,290 ...electroconvulsive therapy... 1180 01:26:43,394 --> 01:26:45,862 ...maintenance in eine secure facility. 1181 01:27:01,679 --> 01:27:03,874 Yeah, he's a tall guy. A real mess. 1182 01:27:05,683 --> 01:27:09,244 Look, you better get down here. He says he's a friend of yours. 1183 01:27:09,420 --> 01:27:12,321 He didn't say. But, man, is he from Squaresville. 1184 01:27:20,932 --> 01:27:22,297 I want a martini! 1185 01:27:22,934 --> 01:27:25,334 It's New Year's Eve. I deserve a martini. 1186 01:27:25,737 --> 01:27:27,534 It's like I've been telling you-- 1187 01:27:27,605 --> 01:27:29,766 I thought you served misfits here! 1188 01:27:29,874 --> 01:27:32,399 That's a roger. But we don't sell alcohol. 1189 01:27:32,877 --> 01:27:35,345 What kind of bar doesn't serve martinis? 1190 01:27:35,580 --> 01:27:39,107 It's a juice-and-coffee bar, man, like I've been telling you. 1191 01:27:39,350 --> 01:27:41,409 Right. So, I want... 1192 01:27:42,787 --> 01:27:43,981 ...a martini. 1193 01:27:44,722 --> 01:27:47,782 I've had a martini in every bar on the way down here. 1194 01:27:48,393 --> 01:27:50,418 Martinis are for squares, man. 1195 01:27:52,430 --> 01:27:55,228 What'd you call me, you beatnik son of a-- 1196 01:28:01,339 --> 01:28:02,738 Look who's here: 1197 01:28:02,874 --> 01:28:04,171 Amy Archer... 1198 01:28:04,442 --> 01:28:06,103 ...Prizeter Pule winner. 1199 01:28:06,778 --> 01:28:09,042 Looking for a nitwit to buy you lunch? 1200 01:28:09,981 --> 01:28:12,245 - Bar fella, I'd like... - I'm sorry. 1201 01:28:12,950 --> 01:28:14,349 ...a martini, please. 1202 01:28:14,419 --> 01:28:16,819 I tried to tell you so many times, I.... 1203 01:28:18,256 --> 01:28:19,689 It's hard to admit... 1204 01:28:19,757 --> 01:28:21,588 ...when you've been wrong. 1205 01:28:22,193 --> 01:28:23,660 If you could just... 1206 01:28:24,095 --> 01:28:25,926 ...find it in your heart... 1207 01:28:26,531 --> 01:28:28,431 ...to give me another chance. 1208 01:28:30,868 --> 01:28:33,359 "You take no prisoners, give no second chances." 1209 01:28:33,438 --> 01:28:36,305 Please, Norville! Please give me one more chance! 1210 01:28:37,041 --> 01:28:38,372 And yourself, too! 1211 01:28:38,543 --> 01:28:40,374 We both deserve one. 1212 01:28:40,611 --> 01:28:44,240 Just give us a second chance. Together we can fight this thing. 1213 01:28:44,382 --> 01:28:48,512 I know the last story was a lie and we can prove it. Release a statement! 1214 01:28:48,586 --> 01:28:51,555 - I can help you write it! - What's the difference? 1215 01:28:52,256 --> 01:28:53,621 I'm all washed up. 1216 01:28:55,059 --> 01:28:56,048 Extinct. 1217 01:28:56,561 --> 01:28:58,654 Homo sapiens sapicus. 1218 01:29:01,599 --> 01:29:03,692 That just about does it. 1219 01:29:04,669 --> 01:29:08,002 I've seen Norville Barnes, the young man in a big hurry... 1220 01:29:08,473 --> 01:29:11,704 ...and I've seen Norville Barnes, the self-important heel. 1221 01:29:12,043 --> 01:29:14,978 But I've never seen Norville Barnes, the quitter... 1222 01:29:15,780 --> 01:29:17,372 ...and I don't like it. 1223 01:29:19,150 --> 01:29:20,640 "Fight on 1224 01:29:21,319 --> 01:29:24,186 "Fight on, dear old Muncie 1225 01:29:25,823 --> 01:29:28,986 "Fight on Hoist the gold and blue 1226 01:29:30,461 --> 01:29:33,487 "You'll be tattered, torn and hurting 1227 01:29:34,399 --> 01:29:37,857 "Once the Munce is done with you 1228 01:29:40,405 --> 01:29:41,997 "Go... 1229 01:29:42,106 --> 01:29:43,232 "...Eagles!" 1230 01:29:45,643 --> 01:29:48,737 You can't surrender, Norville! Remember: 1231 01:29:49,447 --> 01:29:50,880 "Fight on 1232 01:29:51,149 --> 01:29:52,582 "Fight on 1233 01:29:52,683 --> 01:29:55,083 "Dear old Muncie 1234 01:29:55,620 --> 01:29:56,985 "Fight on 1235 01:29:57,054 --> 01:30:00,581 "Hoist the gold and blue 1236 01:30:01,692 --> 01:30:03,853 "You'll be tattered, torn... 1237 01:30:03,928 --> 01:30:05,919 "...and hurting..." 1238 01:30:07,732 --> 01:30:08,994 You lied to me. 1239 01:30:09,767 --> 01:30:11,428 How could you lie to me? 1240 01:30:13,571 --> 01:30:14,560 You... 1241 01:30:15,273 --> 01:30:16,604 ...a Muncie girl. 1242 01:30:18,543 --> 01:30:20,374 But, Norville, I-- 1243 01:30:21,279 --> 01:30:23,304 "When you're dead, you stay dead!" 1244 01:30:23,915 --> 01:30:25,007 Just ask... 1245 01:30:25,082 --> 01:30:26,811 ...Waring Hudsucker! 1246 01:30:34,091 --> 01:30:35,558 Extra, extra! 1247 01:30:35,693 --> 01:30:37,490 New Year's Eve edition! 1248 01:30:37,562 --> 01:30:39,996 Barnes' brain caught red-handed! 1249 01:30:40,131 --> 01:30:41,564 Ideas ersatz! 1250 01:30:42,033 --> 01:30:44,729 Man from Muncie a moron after all! 1251 01:30:45,102 --> 01:30:47,229 Read all about it! 1252 01:30:47,405 --> 01:30:51,739 New Year's Eve edition! Man from Muncie a moron after all! 1253 01:30:51,909 --> 01:30:54,139 You're not so slow, but you're not so swell. 1254 01:30:54,212 --> 01:30:56,908 And it looks like you're an imbecile after all. 1255 01:30:57,348 --> 01:30:59,714 But your friends called you "dope?" 1256 01:30:59,784 --> 01:31:02,014 "Dipstick?" "Lamebrain?" "Schmo?" 1257 01:31:02,086 --> 01:31:05,249 Please, buddy, running the elevator, it's all I got. 1258 01:31:05,323 --> 01:31:07,450 Norville, you let me down. 1259 01:31:07,525 --> 01:31:12,019 You let Mrs. Eisenhower down. You let the American people down. 1260 01:31:12,096 --> 01:31:14,656 And when you're dead, you stay dead. 1261 01:31:18,069 --> 01:31:20,264 The kid is screwy, it's official. 1262 01:31:21,739 --> 01:31:24,640 The barred-window boys are out looking for him now. 1263 01:31:25,142 --> 01:31:26,939 We'll see how Wall Street likes the news... 1264 01:31:27,011 --> 01:31:30,412 ...that the president of Hudsucker is heading for the booby hatch. 1265 01:31:32,116 --> 01:31:34,778 When Doc Bromfenbrenner gets through with him... 1266 01:31:35,286 --> 01:31:37,220 ...he'll need diapers and a dribble cup. 1267 01:31:39,657 --> 01:31:40,988 If that's all.... 1268 01:31:41,292 --> 01:31:43,021 Long live the Hud! 1269 01:31:53,004 --> 01:31:54,335 Watch where you're-- 1270 01:31:54,405 --> 01:31:56,032 Hiya, buddy! 1271 01:31:56,941 --> 01:31:59,136 Out on the town? Guess what? 1272 01:31:59,210 --> 01:32:02,077 Mr.... Sid says I can have my old job back! 1273 01:32:02,146 --> 01:32:04,080 I deserve a second chance, he says. 1274 01:32:04,315 --> 01:32:05,111 He did? 1275 01:32:05,182 --> 01:32:07,616 Turns out he's not such a bad guy after all. 1276 01:32:08,185 --> 01:32:09,652 That's wonderful. 1277 01:32:10,154 --> 01:32:13,749 He said you stole that swell hoop idea from me. What gives? 1278 01:32:13,925 --> 01:32:15,187 I would never-- 1279 01:32:15,259 --> 01:32:17,090 Gee, that was a swell idea. 1280 01:32:17,929 --> 01:32:19,692 And Sid says you stoled it! 1281 01:32:20,164 --> 01:32:22,632 What are you waiting for? Pop him one! 1282 01:32:33,177 --> 01:32:34,906 He's that big-shot faker! 1283 01:32:34,979 --> 01:32:36,810 That Wall Street fraud! 1284 01:32:36,914 --> 01:32:38,745 Nuttier than a fruitcake! 1285 01:32:40,117 --> 01:32:41,778 Somebody call the cops! 1286 01:33:13,451 --> 01:33:15,646 Ring out the old, ring in the new! 1287 01:37:58,102 --> 01:38:00,764 Strictly speaking, I'm never supposed to do this... 1288 01:38:00,838 --> 01:38:02,829 ...but have you got a better idea? 1289 01:39:10,975 --> 01:39:13,341 Love that tune. How you doing, kid? 1290 01:39:14,411 --> 01:39:15,742 Mr. Hudsucker? 1291 01:39:16,947 --> 01:39:19,745 How do you like that thing? They're all wearing them upstairs. 1292 01:39:19,817 --> 01:39:20,909 It's a fad. 1293 01:39:21,151 --> 01:39:22,209 Anyway... 1294 01:39:22,686 --> 01:39:24,176 ...I see you've been having some... 1295 01:39:24,254 --> 01:39:25,846 ...problems with the board. 1296 01:39:25,990 --> 01:39:28,550 I guess Sidney's been putting the screws to you, Norman. 1297 01:39:29,026 --> 01:39:30,254 Norville. 1298 01:39:30,627 --> 01:39:33,858 Say what you like about his ethics, he's a balls-to-the-wall businessman. 1299 01:39:33,931 --> 01:39:37,230 Beat you any way he can. Straight for the jugular. Very effective. 1300 01:39:37,301 --> 01:39:40,532 Any particular reason you didn't give him my blue letter? 1301 01:39:40,637 --> 01:39:44,198 Norman, just a dying man's last words and wishes, no big deal. 1302 01:39:45,609 --> 01:39:47,167 I must've mislaid it. 1303 01:39:47,244 --> 01:39:50,179 It's in your apron pocket, right where you left it. 1304 01:39:50,647 --> 01:39:51,636 Imbecile. 1305 01:39:51,782 --> 01:39:54,808 Failure to deliver a blue letter is grounds for dismissal. 1306 01:39:56,387 --> 01:39:59,447 It's New Year's. I'm not going to add to your woes. 1307 01:39:59,556 --> 01:40:01,990 Want to read it? You might learn something. 1308 01:40:02,426 --> 01:40:04,986 Might keep you from jumping out of any more windows. 1309 01:40:10,901 --> 01:40:14,064 "Blue letter from the desk of Waring Hudsucker... 1310 01:40:14,772 --> 01:40:17,639 "...to Sidney J. Mussburger, regarding my demise. 1311 01:40:17,841 --> 01:40:18,933 "Dear Sid: 1312 01:40:19,009 --> 01:40:22,604 "By the time you read this, I will have joined the organization upstairs... 1313 01:40:22,679 --> 01:40:26,376 "...an exciting new beginning. I will retain fond--" 1314 01:40:26,483 --> 01:40:27,415 Memories. 1315 01:40:27,484 --> 01:40:29,748 "Of the years you and I have spent--" 1316 01:40:30,654 --> 01:40:34,090 Standard resignation boilerplate. Go down to the second paragraph. 1317 01:40:39,930 --> 01:40:42,194 "You will no doubt be wondering why I've decided... 1318 01:40:42,266 --> 01:40:45,133 "...to end my tenure both at Hudsucker and here on earth. 1319 01:40:45,669 --> 01:40:48,263 "From the standpoint of our balance sheet and financials... 1320 01:40:48,338 --> 01:40:50,135 "...sure, we're doing fine. 1321 01:40:50,240 --> 01:40:53,209 "But in my personal life, I have made grave errors. 1322 01:40:53,644 --> 01:40:55,908 "I let my success become my identity. 1323 01:40:56,346 --> 01:40:58,576 "I have foolishly played the great man... 1324 01:40:58,649 --> 01:41:02,085 "...and watched my life become more and more empty as a result. 1325 01:41:02,419 --> 01:41:04,387 "My vanity drove away she... 1326 01:41:05,189 --> 01:41:06,918 "...who could've saved me. 1327 01:41:07,491 --> 01:41:10,392 "Yes, I loved a woman once, Sid, as you well know. 1328 01:41:11,028 --> 01:41:12,825 "A beautiful, vibrant lady... 1329 01:41:12,896 --> 01:41:16,957 "...and angel who, in her wisdom, saw fit to choose you instead of I." 1330 01:41:24,374 --> 01:41:25,636 Skip this part. 1331 01:41:28,045 --> 01:41:29,979 Next page. Next page! 1332 01:41:40,491 --> 01:41:43,255 "This brings me to our company, Sid, and its future. 1333 01:41:43,327 --> 01:41:46,558 "Our next president must have the liberty I have had as owner... 1334 01:41:46,630 --> 01:41:48,564 "...to experiment and even fall..." 1335 01:41:48,632 --> 01:41:49,326 Fail. 1336 01:41:49,399 --> 01:41:53,233 "...without fear of the whims of the stockholders or an impatient board. 1337 01:41:53,804 --> 01:41:56,568 - "The new president must be free to fall..." - Fail! 1338 01:41:56,640 --> 01:41:58,073 "...and learn to fail..." 1339 01:41:58,142 --> 01:41:58,801 Fall! 1340 01:41:58,876 --> 01:42:01,037 "...and rise again by applying... 1341 01:42:01,111 --> 01:42:02,510 "...what he has learned. 1342 01:42:02,579 --> 01:42:03,944 "Such is business. 1343 01:42:04,515 --> 01:42:05,812 "Such is life. 1344 01:42:06,950 --> 01:42:08,747 "Accordingly, I hereby bequeath... 1345 01:42:08,819 --> 01:42:11,481 "...all of my shares in Hudsucker Industry... 1346 01:42:11,555 --> 01:42:14,422 "...to whomever you and the board shall elect... 1347 01:42:14,791 --> 01:42:16,759 "...to succeed me as president. 1348 01:42:17,427 --> 01:42:19,224 "I assume this will be you. 1349 01:42:19,329 --> 01:42:23,060 "If not, if the board chooses someone else to be president... 1350 01:42:23,133 --> 01:42:24,225 "...then, then...." 1351 01:42:24,301 --> 01:42:25,791 Tough titty toenails! 1352 01:42:28,238 --> 01:42:29,830 That'll show the bastard! 1353 01:42:38,882 --> 01:42:39,940 Go ahead. 1354 01:42:40,017 --> 01:42:42,417 "I urge you to work with the new president... 1355 01:42:42,486 --> 01:42:44,886 "...and to remind him when he needs to be reminded... 1356 01:42:44,955 --> 01:42:47,480 "...that failure should never lead to despair. 1357 01:42:49,259 --> 01:42:51,420 "Despair looks only to the past... 1358 01:42:51,695 --> 01:42:52,992 "...in business... 1359 01:42:55,799 --> 01:42:57,130 "...and in love." 1360 01:42:57,701 --> 01:42:59,362 The future is now. 1361 01:43:00,404 --> 01:43:01,598 "The future is now. 1362 01:43:03,307 --> 01:43:05,275 "When our future president needs it... 1363 01:43:06,043 --> 01:43:07,032 "...Waring Hudsucker... 1364 01:43:08,345 --> 01:43:09,812 "...hereby bequeaths him... 1365 01:43:11,248 --> 01:43:12,840 "...his second chance." 1366 01:43:44,615 --> 01:43:47,106 Deliver that letter in the morning! 1367 01:44:47,577 --> 01:44:50,341 And so began 1959. 1368 01:44:51,214 --> 01:44:52,545 The New Year. 1369 01:44:52,983 --> 01:44:57,420 When he learned that Norville owned the company, Sidney was upset at first. 1370 01:44:57,888 --> 01:45:00,686 It's a good thing Doc Bromfenbrenner was there... 1371 01:45:01,725 --> 01:45:05,126 ...because he was able to keep Sidney from harming himself. 1372 01:45:05,562 --> 01:45:09,589 He prescribed a long rest in the sana.... In the sanatory.... 1373 01:45:09,933 --> 01:45:11,298 In the booby hatch. 1374 01:45:12,469 --> 01:45:13,800 Now, Norville... 1375 01:45:14,471 --> 01:45:17,497 ...he went on and ruled with wisdom and compassion... 1376 01:45:18,208 --> 01:45:21,507 ...and started dreaming up them exciting new ideas again. 1377 01:45:22,145 --> 01:45:23,578 You know, for kids. 1378 01:45:23,780 --> 01:45:26,613 I had the boys down at R&D throw together this prototype... 1379 01:45:26,683 --> 01:45:28,583 ...so our discussion could have focus... 1380 01:45:28,652 --> 01:45:31,485 ...and to give you gentlemen of the board a firsthand look. 1381 01:45:36,927 --> 01:45:41,261 That's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed way up... 1382 01:45:41,365 --> 01:45:44,198 ...to the 44th floor of the Hudsucker building... 1383 01:45:44,935 --> 01:45:48,928 ...and then fell all the way down, but didn't quite squish himself. 1384 01:45:49,973 --> 01:45:53,636 You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the 45th floor. 1385 01:45:54,478 --> 01:45:56,207 But that's another story.