1 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:13,672 The Honourable Alan Dee and former Mrs Easton. 2 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:17,469 The Honourable William and Mrs Breslow. 3 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,917 The Honourable Nelson and Mrs Winnie Mandela. 4 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,790 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the USA, 5 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,155 and Mrs Bush. 6 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,269 How is everybody? Everybody's here! Look! 7 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,112 Hi, Peter. 8 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:42,839 Jack, glad you could make it. Bill, hi. 9 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,993 Get rid of the beard. Too liberal. Hi, Frank. Trudy. 10 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,875 Hi, Peter. Glad you could make it. 11 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,520 Everybody's here tonight. 12 00:01:55,600 --> 00:02:00,116 Thank you very much. Dr Meinheimer, glad you made it, sir. 13 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,592 Here she is. 14 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,793 Thank you. 15 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,636 Easy, watch her head! 16 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,350 - How are you, dear? - I'm OK. 17 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,754 Good. Please be seated. 18 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,593 Welcome. Glad you could all come. 19 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,989 I'm pleased to see we're graced 20 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:46,039 with the presence of so many distinguished guests tonight. 21 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:51,069 This week we're celebrating Law Enforcement Week across the country. 22 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:56,109 I'd like to turn the proceedings over to our own DC Police Commissioner, 23 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,998 Captain Annabel Brumford. 24 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,468 I wish to introduce a distinguished American, who this week is honoured 25 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,279 for his 1 ,000th drug dealer killed. 26 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,397 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome 27 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,471 Lieutenant Frank Drebin of Police Squad. 28 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,429 Er, in all honesty, the last two I backed over with my car. 29 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:23,354 Luckily, they turned out to be drug dealers. 30 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,998 Er, thank you, Commissioner. 31 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:36,269 Now my Chief of Staff, John Sununu, will introduce some special guests. 32 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,634 Thank you. 33 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:43,670 I'm very proud to welcome our guests from the nation's energy suppliers. 34 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:48,550 First, head of the Society of Petroleum lndustry Leaders - 35 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,278 better known as SPIL - 36 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,191 Mr Terence Baggett. 37 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:58,235 Now, chairman of the Society for More Coal Energy, or SMoCE, 38 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,756 - Mr Donald Fenwick. - Thank you very much. 39 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:08,159 And president of the Key Atomic Benefits Office Of Mankind - KABOOM, 40 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,708 Mr Arthur Dunwell. 41 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,314 For the past three years, 42 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,313 this administration has tried to formulate a national energy policy, 43 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:22,838 one with a lasting impact on the next decade and beyond. 44 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,957 To ensure we choose the right path, 45 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:30,556 the President has appointed as his top advisor in this area... 46 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,108 Dr Albert S Meinheimer. 47 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,349 As I'm sure you're aware his reputation is without peer, 48 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,318 and Dr Meinheimer will present his recommendations 49 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,039 to the annual national press club dinner... 50 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,073 Mr President... 51 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,910 I want you all to be the first to know 52 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:06,439 that I am basing my administration's entire energy policy 53 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,114 on Dr Meinheimer's recommendations. 54 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,469 This issue's too important for politicians with special interests. 55 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:19,270 Rather we need an independent source on which to base our future actions, 56 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:23,399 and Meinheimer is the recognised expert in this field. 57 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,435 Mr President... 58 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:27,838 If I may say so, 59 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,912 I do hope that Dr Meinheimer 60 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:37,030 won't be influen...influenced by the so-called environmentalists. 61 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,953 We're well aware of his reputation. 62 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,749 I think HE should explain his research. 63 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,629 Doctor? 64 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,360 This happens every fucking time I go shopping! 65 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,109 - Jane? - Oh, Dr Meinheimer! 66 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:25,398 - You're back early. - And you're here late. 67 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:30,554 Surely a lovely young woman like you has better things to do on Saturdays? 68 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:36,151 Oh, I'm sorry, my dear. I didn't mean to be so blunt. 69 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,800 It's all right, Doctor. It's OK. 70 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:45,117 Are you thinking about him again? What was his name...Frank? 71 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,918 Yes. 72 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,514 You can't forget him, can you? 73 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,034 - Who? - Frank. 74 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,439 Oh, yes! 75 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,556 No, I can't. 76 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:58,996 I try. It's just that... 77 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,272 when you've had that much man... 78 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,830 But then, you wouldn't understand. 79 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:12,389 Jane, look! You mustn't be so hard on yourself. 80 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:16,109 You've done a wonderful job here at the institute. 81 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,351 You're the finest director of public relations we've had. 82 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,352 Thank you, Doctor. I try my best. 83 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:26,479 But I see you here night after night past ten. 84 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:31,918 You've got to forget about the past. See new people! Enjoy yourself! 85 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:37,233 There is someone I'm seeing. We've been talking about your speech... 86 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,629 Good evening, Miss Spencer... Dr Meinheimer. 87 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,631 Hello, Norm. 88 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,473 Oh! How was the White House dinner? 89 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,675 Extraordinary! 90 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,116 The President promised to implement whatever recommendations I make. 91 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,474 That's wonderful! 92 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,553 - Then you'll deliver the speech? - Yes. 93 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:59,634 I would have tonight but one guest made such a ruckus, it was useless. 94 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,269 Hey, Al, Kent, look at this! 95 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,794 Found this in the wastebasket. 96 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:15,234 That's a pretty nice clock! Wonder why they threw it out? 97 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:19,598 It's four minutes slow! Let me fix it. 98 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,189 There! 99 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:30,995 My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad. 100 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:35,870 I was just having my car washed, when I heard the call. 101 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,589 There'd been a bombing downtown. I was on my way to advise the DC police 102 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:43,389 as part of the President's Operation Scum Round-up. 103 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:52,594 Every once in a while something comes up that you can't prepare for. 104 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,148 Some crazed madman, 105 00:10:55,240 --> 00:11:00,314 full of self-hate - and possibly behind in his rent - 106 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,039 finally snapped. 107 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,477 - Glad you could make it. - Got here as quick as I could. 108 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,790 Congratulations on Edna's pregnancy! 109 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,235 Yes, and if I catch the guy...! 110 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:18,270 Captain, there's no sign of a break-in. Man, what an explosion! 111 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,158 Still trying to figure out what they used. 112 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:25,199 - Any other victims? - You're standing on one. 113 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,510 Get him outta here. 114 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,955 This one's a real mess! 115 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,589 Hey, everybody! Frank found another one! 116 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,592 - Any witnesses? - One, a woman. 117 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,319 She saw a man leaving just before the blast. 118 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,436 Should we let Nordberg handle this? 119 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,795 No. I'll do it while it's fresh. 120 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:49,318 Not now! She took a nasty knock on the head. She looks pretty bad! 121 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,198 I'll handle it. Excuse me, miss. 122 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,636 - I have some questions. - Not THAT bad, Frank! 123 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,837 She's being questioned over there. 124 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,832 I couldn't believe it was her. 125 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:10,199 It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. 126 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,113 That delicately beautiful face. 127 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,432 A body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. 128 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,513 And breasts that seemed to say... 129 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,795 "Hey! Look at these!" 130 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:29,434 She made you want to drop to your knees 131 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,195 and thank God you were a man! 132 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:38,070 She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it. 133 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:43,112 Stop looking at her like she was your mother, for Christ's sake! 134 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,359 Frank! 135 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:58,072 - Jane, I didn't know you lived here. - I moved here two years ago. 136 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,756 - How are the children? - We didn't have any. 137 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,592 Oh, yes! 138 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:11,596 - How was your prostate operation? - Fine. Good as new. Even better! 139 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:17,710 I know it's hard, but are you still obsessed with our relationship? 140 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:22,920 Obsessed?! Just because you backed out of the wedding two years ago?! 141 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,514 It's ancient history, like the Democrats. 142 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,275 - Frank? - He was in tears at the church. 143 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,554 Get a grip! 144 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,995 - I returned 13 Cuisinarts! - Enough. 145 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,072 - I kept the salad shooter, though. - Jane! 146 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,957 Hello, Jane. 147 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:42,192 - This is Dr Albert Meinheimer. - Don't get up. 148 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,078 - Nice to meet you. - Likewise, I'm sure. 149 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,913 But, we've met - at the White House dinner? 150 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,436 He has a photographic memory. 151 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:55,718 This is a terrible thing. I hope you find those responsible. 152 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,475 I'm sorry, but we have a long road ahead of us. 153 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:04,475 Like having sex, it's an arduous task that goes on forever 154 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,711 and just when it's going your way, nothing happens! 155 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,396 Jane. About this man from last night? Anything can help. 156 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,232 I've given a description. 157 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,553 Ed! 158 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,995 That'll be all, McTigue. 159 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,719 Let's get that other artist. The one who never dates. 160 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,234 - Lives with those two guys. - Right. 161 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,869 I'd like to see the rest of the institute now. 162 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:38,758 - Let's start with the research area. - Good idea. This way. 163 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,911 - And the man you saw last night? - He's Caucasian. 164 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,434 - Caucasian? - Yeah. White guy. 165 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:52,308 - Moustache. About six foot three. - Awfully big moustache! 166 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:56,109 - What's this? - This is our research lab. 167 00:14:56,200 --> 00:15:00,990 All experiments are controlled by these machines below. 168 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,310 Our scientists have spent years on experiments 169 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,789 and are just now making breakthroughs. 170 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,915 Oh, my God! 171 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,959 Thank heavens the bomb didn't damage the research area. 172 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,316 - Who'd want to do such a thing? - Er, Jane. 173 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,756 - You should know about something. - Jane, darling! 174 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,875 Quentin! 175 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,839 Jane, are you all right? I was so worried about you. 176 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,480 I'm OK. But I'm glad you're here. 177 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,838 Oh, sorry! This is Quentin Hapsburg of Hexagon Oil. 178 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,239 A pleasure, Mr...? 179 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:44,791 Drebin. Frank Drebin. I've used some of your rest rooms. 180 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,273 I'm...sure you have. 181 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,316 Are you connected to the institute? 182 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:55,918 Well, not officially, but Jane and I have seen each other a lot lately. 183 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,991 My little hell-cat! 184 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,839 Well...great. I've been dating too - a nice girl, an author. 185 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,151 She writes about male sexual problems. You probably know her. 186 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,390 - I beg your pardon! - Frank! 187 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:15,430 OK. Let's handle this maturely, just like the responsible adults we are. 188 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,397 OK, Mr Poopy-Pants?! 189 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,391 - That does it! - Frank! 190 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,675 Quentin, maybe you should excuse us? 191 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,354 Anything you wish, my darling. 192 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,956 Until tonight, then. 193 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:53,438 I'm feelin' blue 194 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:59,918 Just thinkin' of you 195 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:04,278 I get out of bed 196 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:08,194 Wish I was dead 197 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:15,759 And I hope you do, too 198 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,439 So I have given up 199 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,877 I've thrown in the towel 200 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,354 I've taken all the pills 201 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:32,195 The law will allow 202 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,554 And so I'm feelin' blue... 203 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:36,595 Sir? 204 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,758 Gimme the strongest thing you got. 205 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,399 On second thoughts, how about a Black Russian? 206 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,993 Very well. 207 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:53,312 I guess I'm just... 208 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:58,793 screwed... 209 00:17:58,880 --> 00:17:59,995 Frank. 210 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,675 - I thought I'd find you here. - Ed. Sit down. 211 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,716 Pull up a memory or two. 212 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,473 You left before I could talk to you. 213 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:13,839 Is it my imagination or is the whole world crazy? 214 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,196 No, it's just a small percentage of the population. 215 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:23,674 I hope you're right. But do I fit any more? 216 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,275 You're still thinking about Jane, aren't you? 217 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:31,797 She's part of my life, always will be. I can't forget her. 218 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:37,796 But it's done. Minute I heard her say, "Get outta my life", I knew it. 219 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,869 You know, sometimes I envy you and Edna. 220 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:47,397 You have the same person every day for over 30 years. 221 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,870 You wake up, eat with her, sleep with her. 222 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,349 Make love to the same woman. 223 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:58,673 You spend every possible waking moment together, 224 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:03,788 while I'm out running around with 20-year-olds who want cheap sex. 225 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:08,954 Girls who can't say no. Girls who can't get enough. "More, more, more. 226 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,600 "Your turn to wear the handcuffs..." 227 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:21,277 - I... I just wanna love, Ed. - I'm sure you'll find love. 228 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,909 - I already have one. - It's from the lady. 229 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,558 Go to her. 230 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,390 Go on. I'll see you in the morning. 231 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,674 Excuse me. 232 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,034 Pardon me. 233 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,354 Sorry. 234 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:52,080 This is not easy to say. I'm lonely. I'm lost. I need someone to hold. 235 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,115 Frank. 236 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,959 Over here. 237 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,315 Well... 238 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,990 What are you doing here? 239 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,833 I called your hotel and got no answer. 240 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:13,756 - I thought maybe you'd be here. - Good evening, Sam. 241 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:19,233 Mr Drebin! Jane! Always nice to see nice people. 242 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:24,072 Sam, play our song. Just one more time. 243 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,718 Of course. 244 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:38,079 Sam! That's enough! Play the other one. 245 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:43,678 You can't let ghosts die, can you? You walk out on me. No explanation. 246 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,832 - Didn't you get my letters? - Every one. 247 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,639 Tore 'em up. Threw them in the fire. 248 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:54,475 So you didn't get the $75,000 your uncle left you? 249 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:55,879 Why are you here? 250 00:20:55,960 --> 00:21:02,069 I remembered that last night I saw a red van parked across the street. 251 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:07,553 Red van? That'll be very helpful. That's it. So you can go now, right? 252 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,837 That's not my only reason for being here. 253 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,071 - I want us to be friends. - Sure. Friends. 254 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,789 I bet if I dusted you for prints, they'd be Hapsburg's. 255 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,313 You...! 256 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,631 So this kitten still knows how to scratch! 257 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,232 Sorry. I shouldn't have done that. 258 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,555 Frank, we're no good together. 259 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:42,316 - You only lived for police work. - You lived for the N-zone layer! 260 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,949 Ozone layer! You never did understand. 261 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,190 How can you say that, 262 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,989 when I bought 1 ,000 acres of Brazilian jungle, 263 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,959 then had it slashed and burned to build our dream-house? 264 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,792 You're so insensitive! 265 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:03,557 Insensitive?! You think it's easy displacing an entire tribe? You try! 266 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,791 I'd better go! This was a mistake. 267 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,919 I was hoping you'd be happy, that you'd have someone! 268 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,911 I'm single! 269 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,150 I love being single! 270 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:19,518 I haven't had this much sex since I was a Scout leader. 271 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,949 At the time, I was dating a lot. 272 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,119 I told you the bombing wouldn't work! 273 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,112 We had no choice. Look at the paper! 274 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,512 "President to give Meinheimer blank cheque at press club dinner." 275 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,750 That's in two days! 276 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,751 - I know! - We all do. 277 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,628 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! 278 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,633 I know you're all worried, and I agree - 279 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,393 there's plenty to be worried about. 280 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,233 Like this solar power plant. 281 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,198 Already operational outside Los Angeles. 282 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,919 Photo-voltaic cells. 283 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,357 They convert sunlight directly into electricity. Fluorescent - 284 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:20,560 Iasts much longer than a conventional bulb, using a quarter of the power. 285 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:25,316 Super windows - insulate as well as ten sheets of glass. 286 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:30,076 An electric car - partially powered by solar panels. 287 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,072 But the truth is, gentlemen, 288 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,630 I'm not worried about any of these things. 289 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,952 Because no one's ever going to know about them. 290 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,315 What about Meinheimer and his report? 291 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,516 He's going to tell the President. 292 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,956 Good question. Why don't we just ask him? 293 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,072 That's kidnapping! 294 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,391 - Heavens! - What about the speech? 295 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,790 Dr Meinheimer WILL deliver his speech. 296 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,871 It is my view, 297 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:05,317 we must rely on coal, oil and nuclear energy. 298 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,597 - OUR Dr Meinheimer. - Oh, my God! 299 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,038 Gentlemen, 300 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,076 meet Earl Hacker, 301 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,358 former Arts consultant to Jesse Helms. 302 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,991 As I explained to Hapsburg, my fee is one million. 303 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,153 And, might I add, I'm worth every penny. 304 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,710 But you gentlemen don't have any choice... 305 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,954 ..do ya! Ha, ha! 306 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:46,952 After getting a good night's sleep, I decided to head back to HQ. 307 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,713 I figured, if I buried myself in work, 308 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:55,272 I could forget about Jane and catch a killer before he struck again. 309 00:24:55,360 --> 00:25:01,196 So far we had few clues. I hoped the lab boys had found something. 310 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,589 Hey, shut that thing off! 311 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,355 Now, pigs, say your prayers! 312 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,311 - Nice work, Frank. - What? 313 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,631 Ted, show us those lab results from the institute. 314 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:19,477 We couldn't get any clean prints. But we did find footprints outside. 315 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,074 We made plaster casts out of them. 316 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,470 Size 91/2 D. We're running a trace now. 317 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,118 Even more interesting, 318 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:32,433 we found this dinosaur footprint from the Paleolithic era. 319 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,953 Anything else? 320 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:39,273 We also found ancient timbers we believe may be from Noah's Ark. 321 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:41,157 But about the case...? 322 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:45,870 I'm departing tomorrow to speak to the Archaeological Society. 323 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,633 And I'm on "Geraldo" next week. 324 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,280 You're on "Geraldo" because of this? 325 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:54,716 No. My wife's a transsexual Satan-worshipper. 326 00:25:54,800 --> 00:26:00,033 We'll continue print analysis, fibre checks, DNA breakdown, 327 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,953 and using the dirt particles on this footprint... 328 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:07,318 It's a matter of getting a geologic breakdown of the city. 329 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,994 We may not have that kind of time. 330 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,638 Then maybe this'll help. 331 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:16,316 We found this wallet outside the institute. 332 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:21,520 We haven't examined it thoroughly. It just came down from the lab. 333 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:27,118 Hector Savage. From Detroit. Hey, I remember this punk. Ex-boxer. 334 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:33,355 - His real name was Joey Chicago. - Yeah. He fought as Kid Minneapolis. 335 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,477 I saw him fight once in Cincinnati. 336 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,028 No, that's Kid New York, in Philly. 337 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:43,830 Killed in Houston, by Tex Colorado - The Arizona Assassin. 338 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,673 Yeah! From Dakota! Was it North or South? 339 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,389 South Dakota was his brother, from West Virginia. 340 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:51,754 You know your boxing! 341 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,753 All I know is never bet on the white guy. 342 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,671 You got an address there? 343 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:02,709 All I got is a card that says "Monique DiCarlo, 210 Bleckman St." 344 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:07,157 The red light district. Why's Savage hanging out down there? 345 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,196 - Sex, Frank? - Er... 346 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,034 No, not right now Ed. We've got work to do. 347 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:21,154 The address we were given for Monique DiCarlo was in Little ltaly. 348 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:26,109 We proceeded there, hoping it would lead us to Hector Savage. 349 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,590 And to a clue to break the case wide open. 350 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:35,475 It's the cops! You gotta get rid of 'em! 351 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:40,111 I'll handle it. Quick! You'll be safe in the basement. 352 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,151 - Ed. - Frank? 353 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:46,912 - Red van. - I know. 354 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:51,198 Jane said she saw a red van outside the institute that night. 355 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,158 - Let's take him! - No. He's not working alone. 356 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,152 Let's bug it and see where he goes. 357 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,710 - Good thinking, Frank. Nordberg! - No problem! 358 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,115 Lieutenant Frank Drebin. This is my captain. 359 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,875 - Is this some kind of bust? - Well, it's very impressive, 360 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,952 but we have some questions. 361 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:25,229 All right, listen! We're looking for a Hector Savage. Now, where is he? 362 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,675 Why should I tell you, copper? 363 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:32,754 I'm the last line of defence between this dirt and the decent people. 364 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,114 Hi, Frank. 365 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,832 We got that D83 Swedish suck machine that you ordered. 366 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,075 A gift. 367 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,189 Frank! Come here! Quick! 368 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,917 It's Savage! He's moving. 369 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,590 Hey! Stop! Stop! I'm a police officer! 370 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,957 Let's go, Ed. And remember, we can't let him spot us. 371 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:20,758 Pull over! 372 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,592 Nordberg's bug is on the money! 373 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,357 He's changing direction. Stop the car. 374 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,919 - He's closing. - Any time now. 375 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,353 Keep your eyes peeled. 376 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,076 He's real close now! 377 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,196 Step on it! 378 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,192 Help! Stop! Stop! 379 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,191 Frank, stop! 380 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,430 Stop right now! 381 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,033 I said stop! 382 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,916 Help! Help! 383 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,950 - Frank Drebin. What do we have here? - Tense situation. 384 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,635 Savage is in that house. Says he's got hostages. 385 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:38,869 Could be bluffing. 386 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,520 - Anything else? - Yeah. That red van... 387 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,070 It's registered to one Quentin Hapsburg. 388 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,353 Well. 389 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:53,514 Looks like the cows have come home to roost. How ya doin', trooper? 390 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,357 Hey! Stop firing! 391 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,112 Hold it! Stop firing! 392 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,711 Stop firing! 393 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,751 Stop firing! 394 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,832 All right. Give me the bull horn. 395 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,071 This is Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 396 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:21,358 Throw down your guns, and come on out with your hands up. 397 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:26,434 Or come on out, then throw down your guns, whichever way you wanna do it. 398 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:29,080 Just remember the two key elements. 399 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,232 One - guns down. Two - come on out. 400 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,629 You just try and take me! 401 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,472 I got more! 402 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,915 Looks like he's holding all the cards. 403 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,991 Not all the cards, Ed. 404 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,117 You're not permitted to drive that tank! 405 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,237 Don't worry, Ed. Just keep him busy. 406 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,278 All right, Savage. What do you want? 407 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:55,194 I want a car. Something fun. A Porsche. 408 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,955 A plane ticket to Jamaica, and a nice hotel. 409 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:03,750 No touristy place. Something really indicative of the culture. 410 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,035 Can't do that, Savage. 411 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:11,911 We're calling your bluff. Put your hands on your head and come out. 412 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,918 Frank, what are you doing? Where are you going? Frank! 413 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,754 Frank! Help! 414 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,075 - Your coat, sir? - Yes, it is. 415 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,311 And I have a receipt to prove it. 416 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,272 Telephone, Commissioner. 417 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,033 - Thank you. - Excuse me. 418 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,073 Yes? 419 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,957 He did what? 420 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,600 How many animals escaped? 421 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:39,795 Oh, my God! 422 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,997 Evening, Commissioner. You're looking lovely tonight. 423 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:49,150 Do you realise that because of you this city is overrun by baboons? 424 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,869 Isn't that the fault of the voters? Excuse me. 425 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,792 I'd just like to thank you all for attending this event 426 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:08,034 in honour of Dr Meinheimer who will make his historic address tomorrow. 427 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,795 And along with the President, 428 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,270 I, too, pledge to support Dr Meinheimer's recommendations, 429 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,476 whatever they may be. 430 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,596 - And now, please enjoy the evening. - Oh, there's someone I know. 431 00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,114 May I cut in? 432 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,590 - Frank! Why are you here? - I enjoy a good party. 433 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,355 - Why, really? - I can sum that up in three words. 434 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,715 Quentin Hapsburg. 435 00:34:55,800 --> 00:35:00,920 I never liked him. He's as dirty as a miner's underwear in January. 436 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,558 What's gotten into you? 437 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:07,714 He's a gentle, concerned man who's not as suspicious as some people! 438 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:08,949 Oh, yeah! 439 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:13,795 Why not ask him what his connection is to that red van you saw? 440 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,668 I don't know what you're talking about. 441 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,672 Ask him about a two-bit goon called Savage. 442 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:21,795 Stop it! 443 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:26,396 You're jealous because he can understand me like you never could. 444 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,314 I know he'll be jealous if he's watching now. 445 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:36,115 And a jealous man always makes the wrong moves. I'm counting on that. 446 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:17,196 Mr Drebin, sir, Mr Hapsburg would like you to join him. 447 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,669 Solitaire's a lonely man's game, Hapsburg. 448 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:29,398 Lieutenant. 449 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,716 I don't recall your name on the guest list. 450 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,236 That's OK. I sometimes go by my maiden name. 451 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:44,590 It's a nice party, Hapsburg. I see a lot of familiar face-lifts. 452 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,110 Do you gamble? 453 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,316 Every time I order out. 454 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,152 You do speak French? 455 00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:01,074 Unfortunately, no. But I do kiss that way. 456 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,039 - You're in my place! - Doctor! 457 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,749 - You remember Frank? - Oh! Mr...um...? 458 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:14,277 Drebin, from Police Squad. You met him at the institute. 459 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,193 Oh, yes. Do sit down. 460 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:21,273 No, thank you, I don't intend to stay. Let's play another game. 461 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:22,952 Who's this? 462 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,279 I don't know. 463 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:32,514 He blew up a building. His van is registered in your name. 464 00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:37,515 We own lots of vans. One of them was stolen not more than three days ago. 465 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,956 - I have nothing to hide. - Maybe so. 466 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:45,636 But I warn you, so much as sneeze and I'll be there to wipe your nose. 467 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:56,629 Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the first draw prize of the evening - 468 00:37:56,720 --> 00:38:00,838 an all-expense-paid trip to the Gilligan lslands. 469 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,516 To draw the winner, we would like to ask our guest of honour, 470 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,795 Dr Albert S Meinheimer. 471 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,798 - Let me help you. No... - No trouble. 472 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,599 I don't know what's got into Frank. 473 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,752 Merely a case of jealousy, my dear. 474 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,712 He seems to get around marvellously. 475 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:24,750 Jane, I just wanna tell you that I'm sorry about what happened. 476 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:28,719 - Oh, Frank. - I need to talk to you. May l? 477 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:35,194 Well, the place is kind of a mess. And I was gonna make a shake. 478 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,510 - Want some? - No, thank you. 479 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,195 Are you sure? I'm trying out a new recipe tonight. 480 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:46,231 Jane, what is Dr Meinheimer going to say at the dinner tomorrow? 481 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:50,916 He will endorse energy efficiency and renewable energy - solar power. 482 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,754 - Who else knew that? - Only me. Oh! And Quentin. 483 00:40:54,840 --> 00:41:00,870 And if the President supported energy efficiency, who'd lose out? 484 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,679 Well, coal, oil and nuclear. 485 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,919 Jane, just one more question. 486 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,754 You told me that Dr Meinheimer had a photographic memory, 487 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:16,719 yet tonight he never recalled meeting me. 488 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:20,076 That's strange, but he's been under stress. 489 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,116 Does he have any identifying marks? 490 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:27,832 A scar, a mole, webbed toes, a third nostril? 491 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:31,674 He has a mole shaped like Whistler's Mother on his right buttock. 492 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,876 I see. 493 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,520 Have you noticed anything different? 494 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,353 Well, only that he's a foot taller. 495 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,874 And he seems to be left-handed now. 496 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,520 What are you trying to tell me? 497 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,717 That Quentin has found a double for Meinheimer 498 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,837 who'll give a fraudulent report tomorrow? 499 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,558 That's brilliant! 500 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,029 That's a lot better than my idea. 501 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,954 Stop it! It's crazy! ls there no end to your jealousy? 502 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,473 You're hurting me! 503 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:04,075 - What more do you want? - Use your phone? 504 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,832 - Local call? - Yes. 505 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,310 Right. Excuse me, I'm gonna take a shower. 506 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:13,791 The phone is in the other room. Bye. 507 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,238 Gimme Captain Ed Hocken, please. 508 00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:46,031 Ed, I'm on to something big. I need you and Nordberg tomorrow. 509 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,554 What's he doing in Detroit? 510 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,393 Send him a ticket and clean pants. 511 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,750 Just as I suspected. 512 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,715 Come on! On your feet! 513 00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,191 Where's the water pressure? 514 00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,118 Oh, I was so frightened! 515 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,596 What happened out there? 516 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:19,516 It's nothing. But I wouldn't leave till they've shampooed the carpets. 517 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,318 Who'd want to kill you? 518 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:24,039 Before tonight, only the cable company. 519 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:28,591 I'm afraid it's one of Hapsburg's goons. He was carrying this. 520 00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:31,638 Hapsburg Valdez?! 521 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:39,153 I feel like such a fool. I should have never doubted you. 522 00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:41,276 There, there. 523 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:47,196 You couldn't know you were dating a vicious, murdering sociopath. 524 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,589 We have to help Dr Meinheimer. 525 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,831 Yes. They'll torture and kill him. 526 00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:55,798 It's all my fault. 527 00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:00,237 They'll start by tearing out his toe nails, then on to nose hairs. 528 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,151 What are we gonna do? 529 00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:05,869 If my hunch is right, they've got him hostage here. 530 00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,916 At the Home Club? 531 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:09,479 No. 532 00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:13,155 At this warehouse. I gotta get going to rescue him. 533 00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:14,673 Oh, you be careful! 534 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,035 Of course, l... 535 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,150 I will, er... 536 00:47:21,240 --> 00:47:23,834 I guess I'd better be on my way. 537 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:29,277 I promised Nordberg we'd bake a raisin nutbread tonight. 538 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,118 Oh, I can't fight it any more! 539 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:41,718 I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Stay with me. Please? 540 00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:44,076 Frank, I'm telling ya. We've got no business doing this. 541 00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,515 All we've got is a dock pass and your hunch. 542 00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:51,674 Hapsburg is up to something, right up to his important shirt collar. 543 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,794 Couldn't have picked a better day. 544 00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:01,031 This fog will keep us concealed. 545 00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:04,032 That's not fog. The engine's on fire. 546 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:07,556 All right. Let's run through this one more time. 547 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:11,838 At 3:15, Nordberg cuts the power and kills the alarms. 548 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:13,148 Right. 549 00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:15,231 - Nordberg! - Yeah, got it! 550 00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:18,392 I'll wait for the signal. You wired up? 551 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,072 Yeah. Right. 552 00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:25,473 Now, when you hear me say, "I love it", you guys move in. 553 00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,118 - Check. - Ready, Frank? 554 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,433 The water's over there, Frank. 555 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,873 Hexagon Oil Commercial, number one. 556 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:50,438 Piloting today's oil tankers is a big responsibility. 557 00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:55,036 And that's why, here at Hexagon's Captain Training School, 558 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,635 future captains go through a rigorous instruction rogramme. 559 00:51:58,720 --> 00:52:03,111 By a complicated process, we weed out those less qualified 560 00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:08,354 for the day-to-day operation of a half-million tonne supertanker. 561 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:13,719 Only the best will take command of a floating ecological time bomb. 562 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,439 Commercial two. 563 00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:30,269 Ah, just the way I like it. 564 00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:37,151 Hey, someday in the future, the sun may provide all our energy needs. 565 00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:41,392 But right now it gives us a comfortable feeling, 566 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:45,632 to know our home is supplied by nuclear power. 567 00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:50,635 I know what you're thinking, but we know nuclear energy is safe. 568 00:52:50,720 --> 00:52:54,713 We kinda think of it as our friendly neighbour. 569 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:58,634 But our friend can't exist without huge subsidies. 570 00:52:58,720 --> 00:53:03,111 So write your congressman, tell him to keep those dollars rolling into... 571 00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:04,519 nuclear power. 572 00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,954 I've got to find another way in, Ed. 573 00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,237 They got killer guard dogs here, do you read me? 574 00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:16,469 Loud and clear. 575 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:21,714 - Nordberg? How we doing? - We're at our destination. 576 00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:26,790 I'm gonna try the roof. 577 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,110 I'm gonna try it again. 578 00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,790 - Cut the power. - Right. 579 00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:21,672 Help! 580 00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:23,273 Come in? 581 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,715 Frank, hold on. We have a problem. 582 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:37,553 Well... 583 00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,756 it's Lieutenant Drebin. 584 00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:43,594 You were supposed to have been killed last night. 585 00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:48,995 Now I think I'm gonna enjoy doing it myself. 586 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:52,231 It'll be slow and painful. 587 00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:58,078 What's that smell? 588 00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:02,392 That would be me. I've been swimming in raw sewage. 589 00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,198 I love it. 590 00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:06,839 I love it! 591 00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,753 That's the signal. Let's go! 592 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,309 It's stuck. Gimme a hand. 593 00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,960 Ed, help me! 594 00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:18,234 Search him. 595 00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,118 I love it. 596 00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:30,913 He's wired. 597 00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:34,714 Tie him up. 598 00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,713 You'll never get away with this, Hapsburg. 599 00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,756 Whatever it is. 600 00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:44,992 All right, I'll show you. Let me introduce you to some people. 601 00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,868 Of course, you know Dr Meinheimer. 602 00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:52,478 And Earl Hacker. 603 00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,552 Why you son of a... 604 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,598 And I'd like you to meet the Redmans. 605 00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:02,195 Weekend guests from out of town. 606 00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:07,559 We're going to the dinner. Make sure nothing happens to him till I return. 607 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:13,674 Then I want the pleasure of killing you myself. 608 00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,069 The pleasure is all mine. 609 00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:23,157 See you after the speech, Lieutenant. 610 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:51,875 Police! 611 00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:53,473 Freeze! 612 00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:55,198 Over there! 613 00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:57,993 Good Lord! 614 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,629 Look at what they did to Dr Meinheimer. 615 00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:03,756 You OK, Doctor Meinheimer? 616 00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,874 That's OK. Don't try to talk. 617 00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:15,194 I just can't take this any more. 618 00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:18,317 Garbage like you just makes me sick! 619 00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:20,675 Ed? 620 00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:25,356 I'm just John Q Public now. It's just you and me. 621 00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:30,718 Mano a mano. I'll teach you to pick on an invalid. 622 00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:39,910 All right! He's had enough. 623 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,310 Help the Captain. Let's get to that dinner. 624 00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:53,236 Mr Sununu? 625 00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:56,949 There'll be no surprises in the address. 626 00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:59,873 Most likely he'll recommend the President continue our policy 627 00:58:59,960 --> 00:59:04,670 of oil dependency and more dollars for subsidising nuclear power. 628 00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:10,153 More later. Also, an update on the escaped zoo animals terrorising... 629 00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:15,109 This is the most important evening in my career. No mistakes! 630 00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:19,637 And if you see Drebin or his squad, arrest them on sight! 631 00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:24,874 I told Jane to meet us at the hotel's rear entrance. 632 00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:25,915 Where's that? 633 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,709 In the back. She's gonna unlock the doors at 7.30 sharp. 634 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:31,153 And Hapsburg? 635 00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:35,438 I just hope she can steer clear of him. Let's go. 636 00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:52,196 Why, Jane! 637 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:55,795 What are you doing out here? The party's inside. 638 00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:57,711 Oh, Quentin! 639 00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:02,271 I was just getting a breath of fresh air. 640 01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:08,395 I grew up on Lake Erie. There's nothing quite like it. 641 01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,436 I'm sure. 642 01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:14,991 But how fortunate to find you. You can join me at my table. 643 01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:30,958 - Something must have happened. - Hey, Bernardo! The keys? 644 01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:36,599 I have a better idea. Follow me. 645 01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:41,712 Your attention, please. Ladies and gentlemen... 646 01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,598 A thousand points of...light! Light. 647 01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:49,515 Recession - bad. Recovery - good. Think I got that. 648 01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:55,072 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. 649 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,599 I think we'd better make our move. 650 01:01:56,680 --> 01:02:01,071 You're right. Something more up tempo, like "Guantanamera". 651 01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:02,639 No! 652 01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,029 Hacker and the speech! 653 01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:10,433 Right! I'll intercept Hacker. Get the doc ready for HIS speech. 654 01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:28,314 Bravo! 655 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,789 Encore! Encore! 656 01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:41,236 - Dr Meinheimer! - Yes? 657 01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:42,673 Or should I say... 658 01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:44,159 Hacker? 659 01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:45,878 Drebin! Agh! 660 01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:52,792 Look what he's doing to that invalid! Can't someone help? 661 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:54,154 Yeah! 662 01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:55,958 Let's get him! 663 01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:01,920 We'd better get this man first aid. 664 01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:09,111 Thank you. I'm pleased and honoured to be here at this historic event. 665 01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:14,752 Tonight, Dr Albert Meinheimer, as he looks up to the future, 666 01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:21,234 has realised how our dependence on foreign oil is strangling the budget. 667 01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:26,872 Cuts have to be made, and some people are gonna be hit hard. 668 01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:30,714 But we'll cut till we have an impact. 669 01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:34,475 It's the only way to move forward. 670 01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:38,758 I present to you, Dr Albert S Meinheimer. 671 01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:52,798 My God! 672 01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:54,871 He can walk! 673 01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:57,395 A miracle! 674 01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:02,477 I can walk! 675 01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:05,153 Get off me! 676 01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,709 Hey! Come back here! 677 01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:15,235 I... Yes, everything seems to be OK now. 678 01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:19,029 Without further ado, I present you once again 679 01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:24,752 the esteemed Dr Albert S Meinheimer. 680 01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:39,589 Hold everything! 681 01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:44,117 Don't listen to this man. He's a fraud. And I can prove it. 682 01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:49,593 - What are you doing? - The real doctor has a mole here! 683 01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:54,035 God! 684 01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:59,870 Obviously, a forgery! 685 01:04:59,960 --> 01:05:01,632 We'll see about this! 686 01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:05,473 Drebin! 687 01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,110 Hold it! Frank is right! 688 01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:27,476 There is a fraud here, but it's THIS man. 689 01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:33,917 And he's just given us this signed confession implicating... 690 01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:35,956 that man! 691 01:05:39,040 --> 01:05:40,314 No. No. 692 01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:43,472 That man. Hapsburg. 693 01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:48,755 They're gone. Let's go! 694 01:05:56,560 --> 01:05:57,993 Let me go! 695 01:05:58,080 --> 01:05:59,399 The roof. 696 01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:03,790 Come on, Frank. Hurry! Come on! 697 01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:05,592 Let go! 698 01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:16,468 I intend to share with you my report on the need for a national policy, 699 01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:20,439 based on energy efficiency and clean renewable energy sources. 700 01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:28,958 Over there! 701 01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:33,599 Take cover! 702 01:07:17,400 --> 01:07:20,312 Cover me. I'm going in. 703 01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,239 All right. 704 01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:50,595 Where's Hapsburg? 705 01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:56,077 - Where you hit? - It's not that. You're on my groin. 706 01:07:56,160 --> 01:07:57,434 Sorry. 707 01:07:57,520 --> 01:08:00,193 - Where is he? - You're too late. 708 01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,636 Hapsburg has Plan B in... 709 01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:04,869 in... 710 01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:06,109 in... 711 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:07,955 Where? 712 01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:12,079 Where? All right. Who else is almost dead? 713 01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:15,999 OK, now. 714 01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:20,353 - Talk. - You're too late. 715 01:08:20,440 --> 01:08:24,069 - He already said that. - Where'd he leave off? 716 01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:27,709 - Er, "Hapsburg has Plan B in..." - Oh, yeah. 717 01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:30,519 Hapsburg has Plan B in... 718 01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:32,955 - in... - Where? 719 01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:36,032 Where? Talk, you low-life scum. 720 01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:39,874 Gee, if that's your attitude, forget it. 721 01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:46,114 I'm right here, Drebin. 722 01:08:48,480 --> 01:08:50,436 Drop your gun. 723 01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:59,313 I believe you were enquiring about Plan B. 724 01:08:59,400 --> 01:09:02,312 That's when we detonate a small nuclear device. 725 01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:08,669 Dr Meinheimer can talk all he wants, no one will be alive to hear him. 726 01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:11,194 Detonation sequence activated. 727 01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:14,795 I'm the only one who knows the abort code. 728 01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:17,997 In ten minutes, this building and everyone in it 729 01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:20,071 will be reduced to rubble. 730 01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:24,119 I'll be safely on my helicopter. 731 01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:28,557 Tomorrow, I'll be in Botswana. What do you think of that? 732 01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:31,950 You seem to be in touch with your anger. 733 01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:36,430 You can't talk your way out of this one. 734 01:09:36,520 --> 01:09:41,230 Go ahead. Threaten me like you have the American people for so long. 735 01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:45,871 You're part of a dying breed! Like people who can name all 50 states. 736 01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:51,398 The truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with no seat, 737 01:09:51,480 --> 01:09:52,799 but it hurts. 738 01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:58,592 That's as far as you go. Any final requests, Lieutenant? 739 01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:00,636 Can I have the gun? 740 01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:05,076 Oh, no. I'm not gonna fall for that one. 741 01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:06,229 Not so fast! 742 01:10:22,040 --> 01:10:24,554 Six minutes to detonation. 743 01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,200 Now talk. Give me that abort code! 744 01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:30,192 OK. I'll talk. There are six numbers. 745 01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:31,872 Two-one-seven... 746 01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:37,357 Thanks a lot(!) 747 01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:54,674 - You sure you're all right? - I'm fine. 748 01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:56,716 - And you? - I'm fine. 749 01:10:56,800 --> 01:11:00,236 But unless we disarm this in five minutes, we blow. 750 01:11:00,320 --> 01:11:04,518 - My God! We've gotta warn everyone! - Yeah, right. 751 01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:08,639 - You'd better go. - No, I'm staying here with you. 752 01:11:08,720 --> 01:11:09,709 But, Jane... 753 01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:14,191 Frank, if you're blown to bits, I wanna be here with you. 754 01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:18,994 Jane, I promise you, 755 01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:25,030 if we come out alive, I'll never let work interfere with our love again. 756 01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:31,718 The bomb! OK, Nordberg, let's go! 757 01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:34,155 Four minutes to detonation. 758 01:11:34,240 --> 01:11:35,878 What are we gonna do? 759 01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,155 Operator's manual. See what you can find. 760 01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:43,193 Here! To reset code, press pound sign. 761 01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:49,472 The speed of this sequence has been greatly increased. 762 01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:51,790 Detonation now in two minutes. 763 01:11:51,880 --> 01:11:57,113 ..so instead of spending 2.5 billion dollars 764 01:11:57,200 --> 01:12:00,351 on research into nuclear waste disposal, 765 01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:08,551 the federal government, for only 500 million dollars, 766 01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:13,794 could increase solar panels by 90%. 767 01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:18,510 As Albert Einstein once said... 768 01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:20,989 Hey, wake up! Wake up! Wake up! 769 01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:25,198 For God's sake, quick! This place is gonna blow! 770 01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:28,113 I'll get the lights! 771 01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:30,668 ..an effective national energy plan. 772 01:12:30,760 --> 01:12:32,716 Now to elaborate... 773 01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:36,952 Here, read this. It's an emergency! 774 01:12:39,880 --> 01:12:47,116 "His strong manly hands probed every crevice 775 01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:50,237 "of her silken femininity, 776 01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:52,959 "their undulating bodies writhing, 777 01:12:53,040 --> 01:12:57,511 "in sensual rhythm, as he thrust his purple-headed warrior 778 01:12:57,600 --> 01:13:00,751 "into her quivering mound of love pudding..." 779 01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:05,470 OK. Listen up! I want you to calmly file towards the exits. 780 01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:10,714 That's it. That's it. Nobody run, just walk, single-file. 781 01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:13,837 If we stay calm, no one will be hurt 782 01:13:13,920 --> 01:13:17,629 by the huge bomb that's gonna explode any minute. 783 01:13:25,040 --> 01:13:28,032 It's a cook book! It's a cook book! 784 01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:31,395 Twenty seconds to detonation. 785 01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:34,558 What shall we do? 786 01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:38,951 - It's got my sleeve! - No! 787 01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,110 Ten... Nine... 788 01:13:41,200 --> 01:13:42,599 Eight... Seven... 789 01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:43,749 Six... 790 01:13:44,440 --> 01:13:46,795 Five... Four... 791 01:13:47,560 --> 01:13:48,913 Three... Two... 792 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:50,353 - Let's go! - One... 793 01:13:54,160 --> 01:13:55,593 Frank! Look! 794 01:13:57,360 --> 01:13:59,191 You did it! 795 01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:12,110 Thank you, Mr President, for those kind words. 796 01:14:12,200 --> 01:14:14,839 It's all part of the job. 797 01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:18,879 Frank, please consider filling a post I'm creating. 798 01:14:18,960 --> 01:14:22,555 It may mean long hours and dangerous nights, 799 01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:26,155 surrounded by some of the scummiest elements in our society. 800 01:14:26,240 --> 01:14:29,789 You want me to be in your cabinet? 801 01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:31,438 No. 802 01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:37,038 I want you to head up a new federal bureau of Police Squad. 803 01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:41,998 What a great honour! 804 01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:45,072 It's what you've always wanted! Congratulations. 805 01:14:45,160 --> 01:14:47,151 Nice going, Frank! 806 01:14:50,160 --> 01:14:52,037 Thank you, Mr President. 807 01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:56,151 I'm very honoured. 808 01:14:56,240 --> 01:14:58,231 This is something I've dreamed of. 809 01:14:58,320 --> 01:15:04,031 But I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn down your offer, Mr President. 810 01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:07,556 You see, I've learnt something this week. 811 01:15:07,640 --> 01:15:11,349 About the Earth. And about love. 812 01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:17,037 I guess love's like the ozone layer. You never miss it till it's gone. 813 01:15:17,120 --> 01:15:22,956 Blowing away a fleeing suspect with my .44 Magnum was everything to me. 814 01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:25,679 I enjoyed it. Well, who wouldn't? 815 01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:32,470 But now I want to be the environmental policeman. 816 01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:41,072 I want a world where Frank Jr, and all Frank Jrs, 817 01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:43,230 can sit under a shady tree, 818 01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:46,392 breathe the air, swim in the ocean, 819 01:15:46,480 --> 01:15:50,598 and go into a 7-Eleven without an interpreter. 820 01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:59,271 I want a world where I can eat a sea otter without getting sick. 821 01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:06,271 Where the Democrats put somebody forward worth voting for. 822 01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:13,349 I may not get there with ya! 823 01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:19,072 But I want a world where I can wake up with this woman, whom I love. 824 01:16:24,040 --> 01:16:26,156 - Frank! - Jane? 825 01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:29,915 - Frank! Frank! - Jane, will you marry me? 826 01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:32,230 Yes, of course I'll marry you! 827 01:16:39,040 --> 01:16:40,951 We love Frank! 828 01:16:41,040 --> 01:16:42,951 Frank, turn around! 829 01:16:51,080 --> 01:16:54,152 Oh, George! Help! 830 01:20:59,040 --> 01:21:01,918 Let's see if I've got this. 831 01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:04,275 Energy efficiency - good. 832 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:09,036 Drilling in an Arctic national wildlife refuge - bad. 833 01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:12,910 Mr President? You OK? 834 01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:14,991 Yeah, fine, thanks.