{1725}{1829}The Honourable Alan Dee|and former Mrs Easton.
{1831}{1924}The Honourable William|and Mrs Breslow.
{1926}{2035}The Honourable Nelson|and Mrs Winnie Mandela.
{2037}{2157}Ladies and gentlemen,|the President of the USA,
{2159}{2216}and Mrs Bush.
{2280}{2369}How is everybody?|Everybody's here! Look!
{2371}{2415}Hi, Peter.
{2461}{2558}Jack, glad you could make it.|Bill, hi.
{2560}{2662}Get rid of the beard. Too liberal.|Hi, Frank. Trudy.
{2721}{2809}Hi, Peter.|Glad you could make it.
{2811}{2875}Everybody's here tonight.
{2877}{2990}Thank you very much.|Dr Meinheimer, glad you made it, sir.
{3208}{3252}Here she is.
{3423}{3457}Thank you.
{3604}{3653}Easy, watch her head!
{3711}{3796}- How are you, dear?|- I'm OK.
{3841}{3906}Good. Please be seated.
{3908}{3977}Welcome. Glad you could all come.
{3979}{4037}I'm pleased to see we're graced
{4039}{4138}with the presence of|so many distinguished guests tonight.
{4140}{4264}This week we're celebrating Law|Enforcement Week across the country.
{4266}{4390}I'd like to turn the proceedings over|to our own DC Police Commissioner,
{4392}{4462}Captain Annabel Brumford.
{4523}{4649}I wish to introduce a distinguished|American, who this week is honoured
{4651}{4719}for his 1 ,000th drug dealer killed.
{4721}{4797}Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
{4799}{4849}Lieutenant Frank Drebin|of Police Squad.
{4851}{4973}Er, in all honesty, the last two|I backed over with my car.
{4975}{5071}Luckily, they turned out|to be drug dealers.
{5163}{5237}Er, thank you, Commissioner.
{5239}{5394}Now my Chief of Staff, John Sununu,|will introduce some special guests.
{5396}{5428}Thank you.
{5430}{5579}I'm very proud to welcome our guests|from the nation's energy suppliers.
{5581}{5701}First, head of the Society|of Petroleum lndustry Leaders -
{5703}{5744}better known as SPIL -
{5746}{5792}Mr Terence Baggett.
{5820}{5943}Now, chairman of the Society|for More Coal Energy, or SMoCE,
{5945}{6031}- Mr Donald Fenwick.|- Thank you very much.
{6061}{6191}And president of the Key Atomic|Benefits Office Of Mankind - KABOOM,
{6193}{6255}Mr Arthur Dunwell.
{6257}{6320}For the past three years,
{6322}{6420}this administration has tried to|formulate a national energy policy,
{6422}{6558}one with a lasting impact|on the next decade and beyond.
{6560}{6636}To ensure we choose the right path,
{6638}{6751}the President has appointed|as his top advisor in this area...
{6753}{6815}Dr Albert S Meinheimer.
{6932}{7021}As I'm sure you're aware|his reputation is without peer,
{7023}{7095}and Dr Meinheimer|will present his recommendations
{7097}{7163}to the annual national|press club dinner...
{7301}{7339}Mr President...
{7400}{7485}I want you all|to be the first to know
{7487}{7648}that I am basing my administration's|entire energy policy
{7650}{7715}on Dr Meinheimer's recommendations.
{7760}{7849}This issue's too important for|politicians with special interests.
{7851}{7969}Rather we need an independent source|on which to base our future actions,
{7971}{8072}and Meinheimer is the recognised|expert in this field.
{8074}{8098}Mr President...
{8144}{8183}If I may say so,
{8185}{8260}I do hope that Dr Meinheimer
{8262}{8413}won't be influen...influenced|by the so-called environmentalists.
{8415}{8486}We're well aware of his reputation.
{8488}{8581}I think HE should|explain his research.
{8628}{8653}Doctor?
{11257}{11321}This happens every fucking time|I go shopping!
{12426}{12515}- Jane?|- Oh, Dr Meinheimer!
{12517}{12622}- You're back early.|- And you're here late.
{12624}{12751}Surely a lovely young woman like you|has better things to do on Saturdays?
{12777}{12891}Oh, I'm sorry, my dear.|I didn't mean to be so blunt.
{12893}{12957}It's all right, Doctor. It's OK.
{12973}{13115}Are you thinking about him again?|What was his name...Frank?
{13117}{13160}Yes.
{13162}{13225}You can't forget him, can you?
{13227}{13288}- Who?|- Frank.
{13290}{13323}Oh, yes!
{13325}{13376}No, I can't.
{13378}{13462}I try. It's just that...
{13467}{13544}when you've had that much man...
{13581}{13633}But then, you wouldn't understand.
{13704}{13797}Jane, look!|You mustn't be so hard on yourself.
{13799}{13890}You've done a wonderful job|here at the institute.
{13892}{13971}You're the finest director|of public relations we've had.
{13973}{14046}Thank you, Doctor. I try my best.
{14048}{14149}But I see you here|night after night past ten.
{14151}{14285}You've got to forget about the past.|See new people! Enjoy yourself!
{14287}{14418}There is someone I'm seeing. We've|been talking about your speech...
{14420}{14478}Good evening, Miss Spencer...|Dr Meinheimer.
{14480}{14528}Hello, Norm.
{14530}{14599}Oh! How was the White House dinner?
{14601}{14629}Extraordinary!
{14631}{14715}The President promised to implement|whatever recommendations I make.
{14717}{14749}That's wonderful!
{14751}{14851}- Then you'll deliver the speech?|- Yes.
{14853}{14978}I would have tonight but one guest|made such a ruckus, it was useless.
{14980}{15069}Hey, Al, Kent, look at this!
{15071}{15132}Found this in the wastebasket.
{15241}{15368}That's a pretty nice clock!|Wonder why they threw it out?
{15370}{15477}It's four minutes slow!|Let me fix it.
{15488}{15517}There!
{15641}{15762}My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin,|Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.
{15764}{15884}I was just having my car washed,|when I heard the call.
{15886}{15977}There'd been a bombing downtown. I|was on my way to advise the DC police
{15979}{16072}as part of the President's|Operation Scum Round-up.
{16144}{16302}Every once in a while something|comes up that you can't prepare for.
{16304}{16366}Some crazed madman,
{16368}{16495}full of self-hate -|and possibly behind in his rent -
{16497}{16563}finally snapped.
{16565}{16674}- Glad you could make it.|- Got here as quick as I could.
{16676}{16732}Congratulations on Edna's pregnancy!
{16734}{16793}Yes, and if I catch the guy...!
{16795}{16944}Captain, there's no sign of|a break-in. Man, what an explosion!
{16946}{17016}Still trying to figure out|what they used.
{17018}{17117}- Any other victims?|- You're standing on one.
{17119}{17175}Get him outta here.
{17177}{17236}This one's a real mess!
{17238}{17327}Hey, everybody!|Frank found another one!
{17329}{17402}- Any witnesses?|- One, a woman.
{17404}{17470}She saw a man leaving|just before the blast.
{17472}{17523}Should we let Nordberg handle this?
{17525}{17582}No. I'll do it while it's fresh.
{17584}{17720}Not now! She took a nasty knock|on the head. She looks pretty bad!
{17722}{17792}I'll handle it. Excuse me, miss.
{17794}{17878}- I have some questions.|- Not THAT bad, Frank!
{17880}{17958}She's being questioned over there.
{18035}{18108}I couldn't believe it was her.
{18110}{18242}It was like a dream. But there|she was, just as I remembered her.
{18244}{18315}That delicately beautiful face.
{18317}{18423}A body that could melt a cheese|sandwich from across the room.
{18454}{18525}And breasts that seemed to say...
{18527}{18582}"Hey! Look at these!"
{18629}{18723}She made you want to drop|to your knees
{18725}{18817}and thank God you were a man!
{18819}{18939}She reminded me of my mother,|all right. No doubt about it.
{18959}{19065}Stop looking at her like she was|your mother, for Christ's sake!
{19263}{19296}Frank!
{19298}{19439}- Jane, I didn't know you lived here.|- I moved here two years ago.
{19495}{19581}- How are the children?|- We didn't have any.
{19583}{19627}Oh, yes!
{19629}{19777}- How was your prostate operation?|- Fine. Good as new. Even better!
{19779}{19930}I know it's hard, but are you still|obsessed with our relationship?
{19932}{20060}Obsessed?! Just because you backed|out of the wedding two years ago?!
{20062}{20125}It's ancient history,|like the Democrats.
{20127}{20219}- Frank?|- He was in tears at the church.
{20221}{20251}Get a grip!
{20253}{20312}- I returned 13 Cuisinarts!|- Enough.
{20314}{20389}- I kept the salad shooter, though.|- Jane!
{20391}{20436}Hello, Jane.
{20438}{20542}- This is Dr Albert Meinheimer.|- Don't get up.
{20544}{20614}- Nice to meet you.|- Likewise, I'm sure.
{20616}{20685}But, we've met -|at the White House dinner?
{20687}{20773}He has a photographic memory.
{20775}{20880}This is a terrible thing.|I hope you find those responsible.
{20882}{20974}I'm sorry,|but we have a long road ahead of us.
{20976}{21099}Like having sex, it's an arduous|task that goes on forever
{21101}{21180}and just when it's going your way,|nothing happens!
{21182}{21297}Jane. About this man from last night?|Anything can help.
{21299}{21343}I've given a description.
{21442}{21476}Ed!
{21478}{21537}That'll be all, McTigue.
{21583}{21680}Let's get that other artist.|The one who never dates.
{21682}{21743}- Lives with those two guys.|- Right.
{21745}{21834}I'd like to see|the rest of the institute now.
{21849}{21956}- Let's start with the research area.|- Good idea. This way.
{22025}{22135}- And the man you saw last night?|- He's Caucasian.
{22137}{22198}- Caucasian?|- Yeah. White guy.
{22200}{22295}- Moustache. About six foot three.|- Awfully big moustache!
{22297}{22390}- What's this?|- This is our research lab.
{22392}{22512}All experiments are controlled|by these machines below.
{22514}{22570}Our scientists have spent years|on experiments
{22572}{22632}and are just now making|breakthroughs.
{22780}{22835}Oh, my God!
{22837}{22936}Thank heavens the bomb|didn't damage the research area.
{22938}{23020}- Who'd want to do such a thing?|- Er, Jane.
{23022}{23106}- You should know about something.|- Jane, darling!
{23108}{23134}Quentin!
{23136}{23233}Jane, are you all right?|I was so worried about you.
{23235}{23299}I'm OK. But I'm glad you're here.
{23355}{23458}Oh, sorry! This is Quentin Hapsburg|of Hexagon Oil.
{23460}{23493}A pleasure, Mr...?
{23495}{23607}Drebin. Frank Drebin.|I've used some of your rest rooms.
{23625}{23694}I'm...sure you have.
{23696}{23745}Are you connected to the institute?
{23747}{23885}Well, not officially, but Jane and I|have seen each other a lot lately.
{23887}{23937}My little hell-cat!
{23984}{24083}Well...great. I've been dating too -|a nice girl, an author.
{24085}{24166}She writes about male sexual|problems. You probably know her.
{24168}{24222}- I beg your pardon!|- Frank!
{24224}{24373}OK. Let's handle this maturely, just|like the responsible adults we are.
{24375}{24422}OK, Mr Poopy-Pants?!
{24424}{24472}- That does it!|- Frank!
{24474}{24529}Quentin, maybe you should excuse us?
{24531}{24596}Anything you wish, my darling.
{24635}{24686}Until tonight, then.
{25154}{25323}I'm feelin' blue
{25347}{25485}Just thinkin' of you
{25487}{25594}I get out of bed
{25596}{25692}Wish I was dead
{25751}{25881}And I hope you do, too
{25907}{25973}So I have given up
{25975}{26084}I've thrown in the towel
{26106}{26171}I've taken all the pills
{26173}{26292}The law will allow
{26313}{26376}And so I'm feelin' blue...
{26378}{26402}Sir?
{26436}{26506}Gimme the strongest thing you got.
{26604}{26672}On second thoughts,|how about a Black Russian?
{26674}{26712}Very well.
{26714}{26820}I guess I'm just...
{26822}{26957}screwed...
{26959}{26987}Frank.
{26989}{27079}- I thought I'd find you here.|- Ed. Sit down.
{27081}{27130}Pull up a memory or two.
{27132}{27199}You left before I could talk to you.
{27201}{27333}Is it my imagination|or is the whole world crazy?
{27335}{27417}No, it's just a small|percentage of the population.
{27419}{27579}I hope you're right.|But do I fit any more?
{27581}{27669}You're still thinking about Jane,|aren't you?
{27671}{27782}She's part of my life,|always will be. I can't forget her.
{27784}{27932}But it's done. Minute I heard her|say, "Get outta my life", I knew it.
{27966}{28059}You know,|sometimes I envy you and Edna.
{28061}{28172}You have the same person|every day for over 30 years.
{28174}{28259}You wake up, eat with her,|sleep with her.
{28261}{28321}Make love to the same woman.
{28323}{28454}You spend every possible|waking moment together,
{28456}{28582}while I'm out running around|with 20-year-olds who want cheap sex.
{28584}{28711}Girls who can't say no. Girls who|can't get enough. "More, more, more.
{28713}{28777}"Your turn to wear the handcuffs..."
{28875}{29019}- I... I just wanna love, Ed.|- I'm sure you'll find love.
{29021}{29110}- I already have one.|- It's from the lady.
{29210}{29251}Go to her.
{29289}{29372}Go on. I'll see you in the morning.
{29472}{29504}Excuse me.
{29506}{29538}Pardon me.
{29564}{29596}Sorry.
{29661}{29789}This is not easy to say. I'm lonely.|I'm lost. I need someone to hold.
{29791}{29815}Frank.
{29853}{29886}Over here.
{29913}{29970}Well...
{30060}{30112}What are you doing here?
{30114}{30183}I called your hotel|and got no answer.
{30185}{30331}- I thought maybe you'd be here.|- Good evening, Sam.
{30333}{30468}Mr Drebin! Jane!|Always nice to see nice people.
{30483}{30589}Sam, play our song.|Just one more time.
{30591}{30630}Of course.
{30840}{30939}Sam! That's enough!|Play the other one.
{30941}{31079}You can't let ghosts die, can you?|You walk out on me. No explanation.
{31081}{31158}- Didn't you get my letters?|- Every one.
{31160}{31228}Tore 'em up. Threw them in the fire.
{31230}{31349}So you didn't get the $75,000|your uncle left you?
{31351}{31384}Why are you here?
{31386}{31539}I remembered that last night I saw|a red van parked across the street.
{31541}{31676}Red van? That'll be very helpful.|That's it. So you can go now, right?
{31678}{31758}That's not my only reason|for being here.
{31760}{31839}- I want us to be friends.|- Sure. Friends.
{31841}{31932}I bet if I dusted you for prints,|they'd be Hapsburg's.
{31934}{31970}You...!
{31972}{32053}So this kitten|still knows how to scratch!
{32241}{32318}Sorry. I shouldn't have done that.
{32367}{32426}Frank, we're no good together.
{32428}{32545}- You only lived for police work.|- You lived for the N-zone layer!
{32547}{32636}Ozone layer!|You never did understand.
{32638}{32692}How can you say that,
{32694}{32787}when I bought|1 ,000 acres of Brazilian jungle,
{32789}{32886}then had it slashed and burned|to build our dream-house?
{32888}{32932}You're so insensitive!
{32934}{33076}Insensitive?! You think it's easy|displacing an entire tribe? You try!
{33078}{33157}I'd better go! This was a mistake.
{33159}{33260}I was hoping you'd be happy,|that you'd have someone!
{33262}{33310}I'm single!
{33312}{33366}I love being single!
{33368}{33475}I haven't had this much sex|since I was a Scout leader.
{33572}{33661}At the time, I was dating a lot.
{33922}{33990}I told you|the bombing wouldn't work!
{33992}{34065}We had no choice. Look at the paper!
{34067}{34175}"President to give Meinheimer|blank cheque at press club dinner."
{34177}{34231}That's in two days!
{34233}{34281}- I know!|- We all do.
{34316}{34378}Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
{34380}{34478}I know you're all worried,|and I agree -
{34480}{34547}there's plenty to be worried about.
{34549}{34618}Like this solar power plant.
{34620}{34692}Already operational|outside Los Angeles.
{34694}{34760}Photo-voltaic cells.
{34762}{34871}They convert sunlight directly|into electricity. Fluorescent -
{34873}{35001}Iasts much longer than a conventional|bulb, using a quarter of the power.
{35003}{35120}Super windows - insulate as well|as ten sheets of glass.
{35122}{35239}An electric car -|partially powered by solar panels.
{35241}{35314}But the truth is, gentlemen,
{35316}{35403}I'm not worried|about any of these things.
{35405}{35511}Because no one's ever|going to know about them.
{35513}{35570}What about Meinheimer|and his report?
{35572}{35625}He's going to tell the President.
{35627}{35711}Good question.|Why don't we just ask him?
{35749}{35789}That's kidnapping!
{35791}{35872}- Heavens!|- What about the speech?
{35874}{35957}Dr Meinheimer|WILL deliver his speech.
{35959}{36009}It is my view,
{36011}{36120}we must rely on coal,|oil and nuclear energy.
{36122}{36202}- OUR Dr Meinheimer.|- Oh, my God!
{36222}{36263}Gentlemen,
{36265}{36314}meet Earl Hacker,
{36316}{36421}former Arts consultant|to Jesse Helms.
{36423}{36537}As I explained to Hapsburg,|my fee is one million.
{36539}{36641}And, might I add,|I'm worth every penny.
{36643}{36730}But you gentlemen|don't have any choice...
{36800}{36861}..do ya! Ha, ha!
{37024}{37161}After getting a good night's sleep,|I decided to head back to HQ.
{37163}{37230}I figured,|if I buried myself in work,
{37232}{37369}I could forget about Jane and catch|a killer before he struck again.
{37371}{37517}So far we had few clues. I hoped|the lab boys had found something.
{37519}{37577}Hey, shut that thing off!
{37579}{37671}Now, pigs, say your prayers!
{37697}{37745}- Nice work, Frank.|- What?
{37747}{37828}Ted, show us those lab results|from the institute.
{37830}{37974}We couldn't get any clean prints.|But we did find footprints outside.
{37976}{38039}We made plaster casts out of them.
{38041}{38124}Size 9 1/2 D.|We're running a trace now.
{38126}{38165}Even more interesting,
{38167}{38298}we found this dinosaur footprint|from the Paleolithic era.
{38300}{38336}Anything else?
{38338}{38469}We also found ancient timbers|we believe may be from Noah's Ark.
{38471}{38516}But about the case...?
{38518}{38634}I'm departing tomorrow to speak|to the Archaeological Society.
{38636}{38703}And I'm on "Geraldo" next week.
{38705}{38769}You're on "Geraldo" because of this?
{38771}{38855}No. My wife's a transsexual|Satan-worshipper.
{38857}{38988}We'll continue print analysis,|fibre checks, DNA breakdown,
{38990}{39061}and using the dirt particles|on this footprint...
{39063}{39170}It's a matter of getting|a geologic breakdown of the city.
{39172}{39237}We may not have that kind of time.
{39239}{39278}Then maybe this'll help.
{39280}{39395}We found this wallet|outside the institute.
{39397}{39525}We haven't examined it thoroughly.|It just came down from the lab.
{39527}{39665}Hector Savage. From Detroit.|Hey, I remember this punk. Ex-boxer.
{39667}{39821}- His real name was Joey Chicago.|- Yeah. He fought as Kid Minneapolis.
{39823}{39899}I saw him fight once in Cincinnati.
{39901}{39963}No, that's Kid New York, in Philly.
{39965}{40083}Killed in Houston, by Tex Colorado -|The Arizona Assassin.
{40085}{40154}Yeah! From Dakota!|Was it North or South?
{40156}{40247}South Dakota was his brother,|from West Virginia.
{40249}{40281}You know your boxing!
{40283}{40381}All I know is never|bet on the white guy.
{40383}{40429}You got an address there?
{40431}{40555}All I got is a card that says|"Monique DiCarlo, 210 Bleckman St."
{40557}{40666}The red light district.|Why's Savage hanging out down there?
{40668}{40717}- Sex, Frank?|- Er...
{40719}{40813}No, not right now Ed.|We've got work to do.
{40891}{41016}The address we were given for|Monique DiCarlo was in Little ltaly.
{41018}{41140}We proceeded there, hoping|it would lead us to Hector Savage.
{41142}{41227}And to a clue to break|the case wide open.
{41286}{41374}It's the cops!|You gotta get rid of 'em!
{41376}{41490}I'll handle it. Quick!|You'll be safe in the basement.
{41568}{41616}- Ed.|- Frank?
{41618}{41660}- Red van.|- I know.
{41662}{41767}Jane said she saw a red van|outside the institute that night.
{41769}{41841}- Let's take him!|- No. He's not working alone.
{41843}{41916}Let's bug it and see where he goes.
{41918}{42005}- Good thinking, Frank. Nordberg!|- No problem!
{42075}{42165}Lieutenant Frank Drebin.|This is my captain.
{42167}{42259}- Is this some kind of bust?|- Well, it's very impressive,
{42261}{42336}but we have some questions.
{42494}{42618}All right, listen! We're looking for|a Hector Savage. Now, where is he?
{42620}{42679}Why should I tell you, copper?
{42681}{42806}I'm the last line of defence between|this dirt and the decent people.
{42808}{42840}Hi, Frank.
{42877}{42983}We got that D83 Swedish|suck machine that you ordered.
{43015}{43039}A gift.
{43457}{43517}Frank! Come here! Quick!
{43540}{43585}It's Savage! He's moving.
{43740}{43827}Hey! Stop! Stop!|I'm a police officer!
{43852}{43961}Let's go, Ed. And remember,|we can't let him spot us.
{43963}{44006}Pull over!
{44052}{44127}Nordberg's bug is on the money!
{44291}{44371}He's changing direction.|Stop the car.
{44444}{44510}- He's closing.|- Any time now.
{44512}{44546}Keep your eyes peeled.
{44615}{44664}He's real close now!
{44714}{44767}Step on it!
{44769}{44842}Help! Stop! Stop!
{45246}{45292}Frank, stop!
{45294}{45348}Stop right now!
{45375}{45413}I said stop!
{45661}{45710}Help! Help!
{45751}{45836}- Frank Drebin. What do we have here?|- Tense situation.
{45838}{45928}Savage is in that house.|Says he's got hostages.
{45930}{45959}Could be bluffing.
{45961}{46025}- Anything else?|- Yeah. That red van...
{46027}{46114}It's registered|to one Quentin Hapsburg.
{46162}{46196}Well.
{46198}{46325}Looks like the cows have come home|to roost. How ya doin', trooper?
{46441}{46521}Hey! Stop firing!
{46523}{46565}Hold it! Stop firing!
{46634}{46680}Stop firing!
{46706}{46756}Stop firing!
{46758}{46833}All right. Give me the bull horn.
{46835}{46914}This is Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
{46916}{47021}Throw down your guns,|and come on out with your hands up.
{47023}{47148}Or come on out, then throw down your|guns, whichever way you wanna do it.
{47150}{47214}Just remember the two key elements.
{47216}{47293}One - guns down. Two - come on out.
{47295}{47353}You just try and take me!
{47380}{47424}I got more!
{47426}{47485}Looks like he's holding|all the cards.
{47487}{47537}Not all the cards, Ed.
{47539}{47615}You're not permitted|to drive that tank!
{47617}{47693}Don't worry, Ed. Just keep him busy.
{47695}{47769}All right, Savage. What do you want?
{47771}{47867}I want a car. Something fun.|A Porsche.
{47869}{47961}A plane ticket to Jamaica,|and a nice hotel.
{47963}{48081}No touristy place. Something|really indicative of the culture.
{48083}{48138}Can't do that, Savage.
{48140}{48285}We're calling your bluff. Put your|hands on your head and come out.
{48378}{48485}Frank, what are you doing?|Where are you going? Frank!
{49420}{49481}Frank! Help!
{49955}{50014}- Your coat, sir?|- Yes, it is.
{50016}{50095}And I have a receipt to prove it.
{50100}{50144}Telephone, Commissioner.
{50146}{50213}- Thank you.|- Excuse me.
{50255}{50289}Yes?
{50316}{50361}He did what?
{50388}{50452}How many animals escaped?
{50454}{50482}Oh, my God!
{50484}{50562}Evening, Commissioner.|You're looking lovely tonight.
{50596}{50716}Do you realise that because of you|this city is overrun by baboons?
{50718}{50809}Isn't that the fault|of the voters? Excuse me.
{50949}{51057}I'd just like to thank you all|for attending this event
{51059}{51188}in honour of Dr Meinheimer who will|make his historic address tomorrow.
{51275}{51332}And along with the President,
{51334}{51419}I, too, pledge to support|Dr Meinheimer's recommendations,
{51421}{51474}whatever they may be.
{51637}{51752}- And now, please enjoy the evening.|- Oh, there's someone I know.
{52108}{52140}May I cut in?
{52142}{52227}- Frank! Why are you here?|- I enjoy a good party.
{52229}{52321}- Why, really?|- I can sum that up in three words.
{52323}{52380}Quentin Hapsburg.
{52382}{52510}I never liked him. He's as dirty|as a miner's underwear in January.
{52512}{52551}What's gotten into you?
{52553}{52680}He's a gentle, concerned man who's|not as suspicious as some people!
{52682}{52711}Oh, yeah!
{52713}{52832}Why not ask him what his connection|is to that red van you saw?
{52834}{52929}I don't know what|you're talking about.
{52931}{53004}Ask him about a two-bit goon|called Savage.
{53006}{53032}Stop it!
{53034}{53147}You're jealous because he can|understand me like you never could.
{53149}{53245}I know he'll be jealous|if he's watching now.
{53267}{53390}And a jealous man always makes the|wrong moves. I'm counting on that.
{54304}{54417}Mr Drebin, sir, Mr Hapsburg|would like you to join him.
{54619}{54679}Solitaire's a lonely man's game,|Hapsburg.
{54681}{54722}Lieutenant.
{54769}{54855}I don't recall your name|on the guest list.
{54857}{54943}That's OK. I sometimes|go by my maiden name.
{54986}{55102}It's a nice party, Hapsburg.|I see a lot of familiar face-lifts.
{55159}{55215}Do you gamble?
{55217}{55270}Every time I order out.
{55374}{55416}You do speak French?
{55418}{55514}Unfortunately, no.|But I do kiss that way.
{55570}{55638}- You're in my place!|- Doctor!
{55640}{55731}- You remember Frank?|- Oh! Mr...um...?
{55733}{55844}Drebin, from Police Squad.|You met him at the institute.
{55846}{55917}Oh, yes. Do sit down.
{55919}{56019}No, thank you, I don't intend|to stay. Let's play another game.
{56021}{56061}Who's this?
{56132}{56169}I don't know.
{56171}{56300}He blew up a building.|His van is registered in your name.
{56302}{56425}We own lots of vans. One of them was|stolen not more than three days ago.
{56427}{56511}- I have nothing to hide.|- Maybe so.
{56513}{56628}But I warn you, so much as sneeze|and I'll be there to wipe your nose.
{56781}{56903}Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for|the first draw prize of the evening -
{56905}{57008}an all-expense-paid trip|to the Gilligan lslands.
{57083}{57200}To draw the winner, we would like|to ask our guest of honour,
{57202}{57257}Dr Albert S Meinheimer.
{57337}{57407}- Let me help you. No...|- No trouble.
{57409}{57477}I don't know what's got into Frank.
{57479}{57556}Merely a case of jealousy, my dear.
{58607}{58680}He seems to get|around marvellously.
{60488}{60606}Jane, I just wanna tell you|that I'm sorry about what happened.
{60608}{60705}- Oh, Frank.|- I need to talk to you. May l?
{60707}{60867}Well, the place is kind of a mess.|And I was gonna make a shake.
{60869}{60925}- Want some?|- No, thank you.
{60927}{61017}Are you sure? I'm trying out|a new recipe tonight.
{61031}{61143}Jane, what is Dr Meinheimer|going to say at the dinner tomorrow?
{61145}{61260}He will endorse energy efficiency|and renewable energy - solar power.
{61262}{61356}- Who else knew that?|- Only me. Oh! And Quentin.
{61358}{61509}And if the President supported|energy efficiency, who'd lose out?
{61511}{61579}Well, coal, oil and nuclear.
{61644}{61710}Jane, just one more question.
{61712}{61806}You told me that Dr Meinheimer|had a photographic memory,
{61808}{61905}yet tonight|he never recalled meeting me.
{61907}{61989}That's strange,|but he's been under stress.
{61991}{62040}Does he have any identifying marks?
{62042}{62183}A scar, a mole, webbed toes,|a third nostril?
{62185}{62279}He has a mole shaped like Whistler's|Mother on his right buttock.
{62281}{62334}I see.
{62336}{62400}Have you noticed anything different?
{62402}{62471}Well, only that he's a foot taller.
{62473}{62534}And he seems to be left-handed now.
{62536}{62600}What are you trying to tell me?
{62602}{62680}That Quentin|has found a double for Meinheimer
{62682}{62758}who'll give a fraudulent|report tomorrow?
{62760}{62801}That's brilliant!
{62803}{62863}That's a lot better than my idea.
{62865}{62961}Stop it! It's crazy!|ls there no end to your jealousy?
{62963}{62999}You're hurting me!
{63001}{63089}- What more do you want?|- Use your phone?
{63091}{63133}- Local call?|- Yes.
{63135}{63220}Right. Excuse me,|I'm gonna take a shower.
{63222}{63332}The phone is in the other room. Bye.
{63748}{63818}Gimme Captain Ed Hocken, please.
{64024}{64138}Ed, I'm on to something big.|I need you and Nordberg tomorrow.
{64140}{64201}What's he doing in Detroit?
{64203}{64272}Send him a ticket and clean pants.
{68002}{68056}Just as I suspected.
{68098}{68155}Come on! On your feet!
{68967}{69017}Where's the water pressure?
{69199}{69240}Oh, I was so frightened!
{69276}{69327}What happened out there?
{69329}{69475}It's nothing. But I wouldn't leave|till they've shampooed the carpets.
{69477}{69520}Who'd want to kill you?
{69522}{69588}Before tonight,|only the cable company.
{69590}{69702}I'm afraid it's one of Hapsburg's|goons. He was carrying this.
{69735}{69778}Hapsburg Valdez?!
{69835}{69966}I feel like such a fool.|I should have never doubted you.
{69968}{70019}There, there.
{70021}{70167}You couldn't know you were dating|a vicious, murdering sociopath.
{70169}{70227}We have to help Dr Meinheimer.
{70229}{70308}Yes. They'll torture and kill him.
{70310}{70382}It's all my fault.
{70384}{70493}They'll start by tearing out his|toe nails, then on to nose hairs.
{70495}{70541}What are we gonna do?
{70543}{70634}If my hunch is right,|they've got him hostage here.
{70636}{70685}At the Home Club?
{70687}{70724}No.
{70726}{70816}At this warehouse.|I gotta get going to rescue him.
{70818}{70854}Oh, you be careful!
{70856}{70913}Of course, l...
{70962}{71016}I will, er...
{71018}{71083}I guess I'd better be on my way.
{71110}{71219}I promised Nordberg|we'd bake a raisin nutbread tonight.
{71320}{71390}Oh, I can't fight it any more!
{71392}{71530}I ran away from you once. I can't|do it again. Stay with me. Please?
{76007}{76089}Frank, I'm telling ya.|We've got no business doing this.
{76091}{76150}All we've got is a dock pass|and your hunch.
{76152}{76279}Hapsburg is up to something, right|up to his important shirt collar.
{76371}{76432}Couldn't have picked a better day.
{76434}{76513}This fog will keep us concealed.
{76515}{76588}That's not fog. The engine's on fire.
{76590}{76676}All right. Let's run through|this one more time.
{76678}{76783}At 3:15, Nordberg cuts the power|and kills the alarms.
{76785}{76816}Right.
{76818}{76868}- Nordberg!|- Yeah, got it!
{76870}{76947}I'll wait for the signal.|You wired up?
{76949}{76989}Yeah. Right.
{76991}{77124}Now, when you hear me say,|"I love it", you guys move in.
{77126}{77165}- Check.|- Ready, Frank?
{77381}{77448}The water's over there, Frank.
{77563}{77634}Hexagon Oil Commercial, number one.
{77641}{77748}Piloting today's oil tankers|is a big responsibility.
{77750}{77863}And that's why, here at|Hexagon's Captain Training School,
{77865}{77953}future captains go through|a rigorous instruction rogramme.
{77955}{78065}By a complicated process,|we weed out those less qualified
{78067}{78196}for the day-to-day operation|of a half-million tonne supertanker.
{78198}{78330}Only the best will take command|of a floating ecological time bomb.
{78611}{78648}Commercial two.
{78684}{78744}Ah, just the way I like it.
{78773}{78916}Hey, someday in the future, the sun|may provide all our energy needs.
{78918}{79022}But right now it gives|us a comfortable feeling,
{79024}{79128}to know our home is supplied|by nuclear power.
{79130}{79253}I know what you're thinking,|but we know nuclear energy is safe.
{79255}{79355}We kinda think of it as|our friendly neighbour.
{79357}{79453}But our friend can't exist|without huge subsidies.
{79455}{79565}So write your congressman, tell him|to keep those dollars rolling into...
{79567}{79600}nuclear power.
{79721}{79786}I've got to find another way in, Ed.
{79788}{79868}They got killer guard dogs here,|do you read me?
{79870}{79899}Loud and clear.
{79901}{80030}- Nordberg? How we doing?|- We're at our destination.
{80103}{80157}I'm gonna try the roof.
{80288}{80340}I'm gonna try it again.
{81353}{81407}- Cut the power.|- Right.
{81489}{81529}Help!
{81531}{81569}Come in?
{81571}{81630}Frank, hold on. We have a problem.
{81892}{81926}Well...
{81928}{81981}it's Lieutenant Drebin.
{81983}{82077}You were supposed to have been|killed last night.
{82122}{82212}Now I think I'm gonna|enjoy doing it myself.
{82214}{82293}It'll be slow and painful.
{82400}{82439}What's that smell?
{82441}{82547}That would be me.|I've been swimming in raw sewage.
{82549}{82592}I love it.
{82623}{82658}I love it!
{82660}{82731}That's the signal. Let's go!
{82787}{82845}It's stuck. Gimme a hand.
{82847}{82911}Ed, help me!
{82913}{82943}Search him.
{83076}{83115}I love it.
{83222}{83260}He's wired.
{83323}{83355}Tie him up.
{83357}{83455}You'll never get away with this,|Hapsburg.
{83457}{83506}Whatever it is.
{83508}{83612}All right, I'll show you.|Let me introduce you to some people.
{83647}{83709}Of course, you know Dr Meinheimer.
{83756}{83799}And Earl Hacker.
{83801}{83876}Why you son of a...
{83878}{83952}And I'd like you to meet the Redmans.
{83954}{84042}Weekend guests from out of town.
{84044}{84176}We're going to the dinner. Make sure|nothing happens to him till I return.
{84202}{84329}Then I want the pleasure|of killing you myself.
{84331}{84389}The pleasure is all mine.
{84486}{84566}See you after the speech, Lieutenant.
{86760}{86784}Police!
{86786}{86824}Freeze!
{86826}{86867}Over there!
{86901}{86937}Good Lord!
{86939}{87028}Look at what they did|to Dr Meinheimer.
{87030}{87081}You OK, Doctor Meinheimer?
{87144}{87209}That's OK. Don't try to talk.
{87273}{87367}I just can't take this any more.
{87369}{87445}Garbage like you|just makes me sick!
{87447}{87504}Ed?
{87506}{87621}I'm just John Q Public now.|It's just you and me.
{87648}{87755}Mano a mano. I'll teach you|to pick on an invalid.
{87931}{87985}All right! He's had enough.
{87987}{88070}Help the Captain.|Let's get to that dinner.
{88265}{88318}Mr Sununu?
{88320}{88411}There'll be no surprises|in the address.
{88413}{88484}Most likely he'll recommend|the President continue our policy
{88486}{88604}of oil dependency and more dollars|for subsidising nuclear power.
{88606}{88741}More later. Also, an update on the|escaped zoo animals terrorising...
{88743}{88865}This is the most important evening|in my career. No mistakes!
{88867}{88978}And if you see Drebin or his squad,|arrest them on sight!
{89015}{89109}I told Jane to meet us|at the hotel's rear entrance.
{89111}{89135}Where's that?
{89137}{89230}In the back. She's gonna unlock|the doors at 7.30 sharp.
{89232}{89266}And Hapsburg?
{89268}{89373}I just hope she can steer|clear of him. Let's go.
{89741}{89792}Why, Jane!
{89794}{89882}What are you doing out here?|The party's inside.
{89884}{89930}Oh, Quentin!
{89932}{90044}I was just getting a breath|of fresh air.
{90109}{90197}I grew up on Lake Erie.|There's nothing quite like it.
{90199}{90248}I'm sure.
{90250}{90362}But how fortunate to find you.|You can join me at my table.
{90691}{90761}- Something must have happened.|- Hey, Bernardo! The keys?
{90836}{90902}I have a better idea. Follow me.
{90924}{91030}Your attention, please.|Ladies and gentlemen...
{91032}{91102}A thousand points of...light! Light.
{91104}{91225}Recession - bad. Recovery - good.|Think I got that.
{91227}{91364}Ladies and gentlemen,|the President of the United States.
{92836}{92902}I think we'd better make our move.
{92904}{93014}You're right. Something more up|tempo, like "Guantanamera".
{93016}{93053}No!
{93055}{93113}Hacker and the speech!
{93115}{93248}Right! I'll intercept Hacker.|Get the doc ready for HIS speech.
{93665}{93695}Bravo!
{93697}{93757}Encore! Encore!
{93965}{94018}- Dr Meinheimer!|- Yes?
{94020}{94054}Or should I say...
{94056}{94091}Hacker?
{94093}{94134}Drebin! Agh!
{94203}{94307}Look what he's doing to that invalid!|Can't someone help?
{94309}{94341}Yeah!
{94343}{94386}Let's get him!
{94471}{94535}We'd better get this man first aid.
{94570}{94715}Thank you. I'm pleased and honoured|to be here at this historic event.
{94717}{94856}Tonight, Dr Albert Meinheimer,|as he looks up to the future,
{94858}{95018}has realised how our dependence on|foreign oil is strangling the budget.
{95020}{95159}Cuts have to be made, and some|people are gonna be hit hard.
{95161}{95255}But we'll cut till we have an impact.
{95257}{95349}It's the only way to move forward.
{95351}{95456}I present to you,|Dr Albert S Meinheimer.
{95766}{95807}My God!
{95809}{95859}He can walk!
{95898}{95922}A miracle!
{95969}{96049}I can walk!
{96078}{96116}Get off me!
{96197}{96255}Hey! Come back here!
{96280}{96368}I... Yes, everything|seems to be OK now.
{96370}{96463}Without further ado,|I present you once again
{96465}{96606}the esteemed|Dr Albert S Meinheimer.
{96919}{96977}Hold everything!
{96979}{97090}Don't listen to this man.|He's a fraud. And I can prove it.
{97092}{97227}- What are you doing?|- The real doctor has a mole here!
{97310}{97338}God!
{97430}{97484}Obviously, a forgery!
{97486}{97528}We'll see about this!
{97586}{97624}Drebin!
{98034}{98090}Hold it! Frank is right!
{98092}{98174}There is a fraud here,|but it's THIS man.
{98224}{98335}And he's just given us|this signed confession implicating...
{98337}{98386}that man!
{98463}{98495}No. No.
{98497}{98574}That man. Hapsburg.
{98651}{98706}They're gone. Let's go!
{98901}{98937}Let me go!
{98939}{98972}The roof.
{98997}{99082}Come on, Frank. Hurry! Come on!
{99085}{99127}Let go!
{99273}{99399}I intend to share with you my report|on the need for a national policy,
{99401}{99498}based on energy efficiency|and clean renewable energy sources.
{99670}{99711}Over there!
{99792}{99827}Take cover!
{100922}{100995}Cover me. I'm going in.
{101656}{101693}All right.
{101695}{101752}Where's Hapsburg?
{101780}{101889}- Where you hit?|- It's not that. You're on my groin.
{101891}{101923}Sorry.
{101925}{101992}- Where is he?|- You're too late.
{101994}{102078}Hapsburg has Plan B in...
{102080}{102109}in...
{102111}{102140}in...
{102162}{102186}Where?
{102188}{102289}Where? All right.|Who else is almost dead?
{102354}{102387}OK, now.
{102429}{102496}- Talk.|- You're too late.
{102498}{102589}- He already said that.|- Where'd he leave off?
{102591}{102680}- Er, "Hapsburg has Plan B in..."|- Oh, yeah.
{102682}{102750}Hapsburg has Plan B in...
{102752}{102811}- in...|- Where?
{102813}{102888}Where? Talk, you low-life scum.
{102890}{102984}Gee, if that's your attitude,|forget it.
{103079}{103140}I'm right here, Drebin.
{103199}{103248}Drop your gun.
{103370}{103470}I believe you were|enquiring about Plan B.
{103472}{103545}That's when we detonate|a small nuclear device.
{103547}{103704}Dr Meinheimer can talk all he wants,|no one will be alive to hear him.
{103706}{103767}Detonation sequence activated.
{103769}{103857}I'm the only one|who knows the abort code.
{103859}{103937}In ten minutes,|this building and everyone in it
{103939}{103989}will be reduced to rubble.
{103991}{104090}I'll be safely on my helicopter.
{104092}{104201}Tomorrow, I'll be in Botswana.|What do you think of that?
{104203}{104286}You seem to be in touch|with your anger.
{104313}{104398}You can't talk|your way out of this one.
{104400}{104518}Go ahead. Threaten me like you have|the American people for so long.
{104520}{104634}You're part of a dying breed! Like|people who can name all 50 states.
{104636}{104772}The truth hurts. Maybe not as much|as jumping on a bike with no seat,
{104774}{104807}but it hurts.
{104811}{104952}That's as far as you go.|Any final requests, Lieutenant?
{104954}{105003}Can I have the gun?
{105032}{105114}Oh, no. I'm not gonna fall|for that one.
{105116}{105143}Not so fast!
{105538}{105601}Six minutes to detonation.
{105603}{105667}Now talk. Give me that abort code!
{105669}{105742}OK. I'll talk. There are six numbers.
{105744}{105784}Two-one-seven...
{105876}{105921}Thanks a lot(!)
{106291}{106354}- You sure you're all right?|- I'm fine.
{106356}{106405}- And you?|- I'm fine.
{106407}{106493}But unless we disarm this|in five minutes, we blow.
{106495}{106600}- My God! We've gotta warn everyone!|- Yeah, right.
{106602}{106703}- You'd better go.|- No, I'm staying here with you.
{106705}{106730}But, Jane...
{106732}{106842}Frank, if you're blown to bits,|I wanna be here with you.
{106899}{106962}Jane, I promise you,
{106964}{107113}if we come out alive, I'll never let|work interfere with our love again.
{107210}{107280}The bomb! OK, Nordberg, let's go!
{107282}{107341}Four minutes to detonation.
{107343}{107384}What are we gonna do?
{107386}{107441}Operator's manual.|See what you can find.
{107469}{107567}Here! To reset code,|press pound sign.
{107620}{107724}The speed of this sequence|has been greatly increased.
{107726}{107782}Detonation now in two minutes.
{107784}{107915}..so instead of spending|2.5 billion dollars
{107917}{107996}on research|into nuclear waste disposal,
{108027}{108201}the federal government,|for only 500 million dollars,
{108203}{108332}could increase solar panels by 90%.
{108334}{108450}As Albert Einstein once said...
{108452}{108512}Hey, wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
{108514}{108617}For God's sake, quick!|This place is gonna blow!
{108654}{108690}I'll get the lights!
{108692}{108754}..an effective national energy plan.
{108756}{108805}Now to elaborate...
{108807}{108911}Here, read this. It's an emergency!
{108984}{109165}"His strong manly hands|probed every crevice
{109167}{109243}"of her silken femininity,
{109245}{109311}"their undulating bodies writhing,
{109313}{109425}"in sensual rhythm, as he thrust|his purple-headed warrior
{109427}{109506}"into her quivering mound|of love pudding..."
{109508}{109624}OK. Listen up! I want you|to calmly file towards the exits.
{109626}{109755}That's it. That's it.|Nobody run, just walk, single-file.
{109757}{109833}If we stay calm, no one will be hurt
{109835}{109928}by the huge bomb|that's gonna explode any minute.
{110113}{110188}It's a cook book! It's a cook book!
{110217}{110272}Twenty seconds to detonation.
{110308}{110351}What shall we do?
{110413}{110461}- It's got my sleeve!|- No!
{110463}{110515}Ten... Nine...
{110517}{110552}Eight... Seven...
{110554}{110581}Six...
{110598}{110657}Five... Four...
{110676}{110710}Three... Two...
{110712}{110746}- Let's go!|- One...
{110841}{110877}Frank! Look!
{110921}{110967}You did it!
{111203}{111290}Thank you, Mr President,|for those kind words.
{111292}{111358}It's all part of the job.
{111360}{111459}Frank, please consider|filling a post I'm creating.
{111461}{111551}It may mean long hours|and dangerous nights,
{111553}{111641}surrounded by some of the scummiest|elements in our society.
{111643}{111732}You want me to be in your cabinet?
{111734}{111773}No.
{111775}{111913}I want you to head up a new|federal bureau of Police Squad.
{111994}{112037}What a great honour!
{112039}{112114}It's what you've always wanted!|Congratulations.
{112116}{112166}Nice going, Frank!
{112241}{112288}Thank you, Mr President.
{112341}{112391}I'm very honoured.
{112393}{112443}This is something I've dreamed of.
{112445}{112588}But I'm afraid I'm going to have to|turn down your offer, Mr President.
{112590}{112676}You see, I've learnt|something this week.
{112678}{112771}About the Earth. And about love.
{112773}{112913}I guess love's like the ozone layer.|You never miss it till it's gone.
{112915}{113061}Blowing away a fleeing suspect with|my .44 Magnum was everything to me.
{113063}{113129}I enjoyed it. Well, who wouldn't?
{113183}{113299}But now I want to be|the environmental policeman.
{113406}{113514}I want a world where Frank Jr,|and all Frank Jrs,
{113516}{113568}can sit under a shady tree,
{113570}{113647}breathe the air, swim in the ocean,
{113649}{113752}and go into a 7-Eleven|without an interpreter.
{113857}{113969}I want a world where I can eat|a sea otter without getting sick.
{114034}{114144}Where the Democrats put somebody|forward worth voting for.
{114232}{114321}I may not get there with ya!
{114323}{114464}But I want a world where I can wake|up with this woman, whom I love.
{114588}{114641}- Frank!|- Jane?
{114643}{114735}- Frank! Frank!|- Jane, will you marry me?
{114737}{114793}Yes, of course I'll marry you!
{114963}{115011}We love Frank!
{115013}{115061}Frank, turn around!
{115264}{115341}Oh, George! Help!
{121463}{121535}Let's see if I've got this.
{121537}{121594}Energy efficiency - good.
{121596}{121713}Drilling in an Arctic national|wildlife refuge - bad.
{121754}{121810}Mr President? You OK?
{121812}{121862}Yeah, fine, thanks.