1 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:52,157 Listen to me! Killing a few hostages is not sufficient! 2 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,708 The Americans must be made to suffer. 3 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,030 We must humiliate them. 4 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,634 You do not go far enough, General Amin. 5 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,315 We must strip their entrails out and drag them to Damascus, 6 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,075 until they include us in the peace process. 7 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:11,472 Nonsense! This solution is not bold enough for Libya. 8 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,439 I say wipe out Washington and New York. 9 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,069 What? And spoil three years of good PR? 10 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,232 The Americans believe l'm a nice guy. 11 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:26,359 In some of their polls, l'm more popular than their president! 12 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,998 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! This is getting us nowhere. 13 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,277 If we do nothing else this week, 14 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,035 we must conceive at least one terrorist act 15 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,839 that will show all the world 16 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,798 that the United States, the great Satan, 17 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,917 is but a paper tiger - a weak nation, 18 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:53,596 a weak people, a people ripe for destruction. 19 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,116 Cowards, no longer willing to fight. 20 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,516 I knew it! 21 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,194 Hey, who are you? 22 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,748 I'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 23 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,957 And don't ever let me catch you guys in America! 24 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,836 Watch out! 25 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,874 ..98, 99, 100. It's all here. 26 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,032 This completes our first shipment of heroin. 27 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,156 100% pure. 28 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,390 It better be - all 40 kilos. 29 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,756 The final shipment will be delivered in three days. 30 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,230 - Then we'll expect payment. - Don't worry.' 31 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,834 Police! Throw down your guns! 32 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,436 Kill him. 33 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:28,831 It's a great day for Americans. This man alone... 34 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,953 There he is! 35 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,996 No flowers, thank you. 36 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,550 Welcome home, Frank. Good work in Beirut. We heard about it. 37 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:49,599 Thanks. I want to know one thing - is it true about Victoria? 38 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,150 I'm afraid so. She ran off with some guy. 39 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,708 They got married last week. 40 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,315 Then it's over. All of this is meaningless. 41 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,073 I did it for her. Everything. 42 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,549 And now she's gone. 43 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,633 And you came down here to get a hot story, didn't you? 44 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,154 Pictures of me to sell your newspapers. 45 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,835 - Frank... - Sure, you think l'm a big hero. 46 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:19,277 Do any of you understand how a man can hurt inside? 47 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,396 Frank, they're not here for you. 48 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,869 'Weird Al' Yankovic is on the plane. 49 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,833 What about the wedding? What was she wearing? 50 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,196 Don't torture yourself! Put her out of your mind. 51 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,795 I can't get her out of my mind. What about the guy? 52 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,997 - Do you know anything about him? - Not much. 53 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,150 Just that he's an Olympic gymnast 54 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,800 and it's the best sex she's ever had. 55 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:52,272 I trusted her and followed my heart. Foolishly, it seems. 56 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,874 I'm just gonna have to learn to forget. 57 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:59,875 That's why I took my vacation in Beirut - to find some peace. 58 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,916 It won't be easy. 59 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,276 Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her. 60 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,872 Maybe cops and women just don't mix. 61 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,236 What about Nordberg? I came as soon as I heard. 62 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,595 He's alive, but on life support. 63 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,274 He's got a 50/50 chance of living, 64 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:22,319 though there's only a 10% chance of that. 65 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:47,308 Mrs Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. 66 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,356 Where would you like it sent? 67 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:54,355 - Frank! l'm so glad you came! - Wilma, I came as soon as I heard. 68 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,032 Thank you, Frank. 69 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,157 - Where's Nordberg? - He's right here. 70 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,596 Nordberg, it's Frank, your buddy. 71 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,796 I'll get it! 72 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,118 Get the switch at the back of the bed! 73 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,477 Nordberg, it's me, Frank. Who did this to you? 74 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,471 I...love you. 75 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:27,468 I love you, too, Nordberg. Who were they? 76 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,075 - Ship... Boat... - That's right. A boat. 77 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,277 When you're better, we'll go sailing together, 78 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,033 - just like last year. - No... Drugs. 79 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:41,352 Nurse, give this man some drugs! Can't you see he's in pain? 80 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,795 - Give him a shot, quickly! - No... 81 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,952 Heroin! Heroin, Frank! 82 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,235 Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order. 83 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,357 Give me a couple of days on that one. 84 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,672 Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. 85 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,958 He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing? 86 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,632 It's hard to tell. 87 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:09,555 A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover... 88 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,674 Frank, get a hold of yourself! 89 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:18,515 A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums. 90 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,956 - No way for a man to die. - You're right, Ed. 91 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,838 A parachute not opening - that's the way to die, 92 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,275 getting caught in a combine, 93 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,874 having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. 94 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,916 That's the way I want to go. 95 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,354 Frank! This is terrible! 96 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:41,560 Don't worry, Wilma. Your husband is gonna be all right. 97 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:46,475 Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind. 98 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,471 He's right, Wilma, 99 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:53,270 but don't wait till the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards. 100 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,909 What l'm trying to say is, as soon as Nordberg is better, 101 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,070 he's welcome back at Police Squad. 102 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:03,995 Unless he's a drooling vegetable, but that's only common sense. 103 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:10,119 Do you know why Nordberg was at the waterfront? 104 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,750 No... 105 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,912 But I found this at home in a drawer. 106 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:24,229 A photograph! 'I Luv You' out of Caracas. 107 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,880 A Panamanian ship. 108 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,999 When he said 'I love you', he was telling you the name of the ship! 109 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,038 I realise that...now. 110 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,749 - We'd better check this out. - I want every available man on it. 111 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,831 I can't spare anybody. 112 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,879 We're in charge of security for Queen Elizabeth's visit. 113 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,520 Wilma, whatever scum did this, 114 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,912 no man will rest until he's behind bars. Let's grab a bite to eat. 115 00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:00,870 Due to the extraordinary efforts of some of our civic leaders, 116 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,556 Queen Elizabeth has included the city of Los Angeles 117 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:09,633 as one of the cities she'll visit during her American tour. 118 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,152 Will the city hire additional security officers? 119 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:20,189 We have placed the Queen's security in the hands of Police Squad, 120 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,272 a special division of the Police Department, 121 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,318 represented here by Lieutenant Frank Drebin. 122 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,076 Thank you, Your Honour. 123 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:34,835 Louder! 124 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,798 - You can use my radio mic. - Thank you. 125 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,829 Thank you, Your Honour. Protecting the Queen's safety 126 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,993 is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. 127 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,993 No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, 128 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:02,870 as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts. 129 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,557 Thank you, Lieutenant Drebin. 130 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:12,152 Of course, we all have a stake in seeing that this portion 131 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:16,677 of the Queen's American tour is completely protected. 132 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:21,390 And we can take pride that the Queen... 133 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,111 Indeed, it is for all the people, 134 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:34,228 who will be able to share in these...celebrations... 135 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,515 Especially exciting... 136 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:45,148 will be...the Queen's... public appearances. 137 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,236 We also would like... 138 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:24,596 Ed and I drove to where Nordberg had been found floating. 139 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:29,515 Without leads, you have to start somewhere, and that was the harbour. 140 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,751 Please disperse. Please disperse. 141 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:36,992 There's nothing for you to see here. Keep moving. 142 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,832 Where did they find him? 143 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,911 Out there. Do you wanna take a dinghy? 144 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,072 No, I took care of that at the press conference. 145 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,311 It doesn't make sense. Good policeman, bright future... 146 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,630 then something like this happens. 147 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,676 He was found by the nightwatchman. 148 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,399 I'm gonna talk to the harbour-master. 149 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,436 I'll walk around and snoop. 150 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,349 - Yeah? - Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad. 151 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,908 I remember you. What do you want? 152 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,549 I wanna ask some questions. Are you familiar with that face? 153 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,871 I don't know. My memory ain't so great. 154 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,838 Oh, yeah? Maybe this'll refresh your memory. 155 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,876 - Still hazy. - How about this? 156 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,030 I remember. Why do you want to know? 157 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,510 - I can't tell you. - Maybe this'll help. 158 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,990 - I don't think I should. - Still don't think so? 159 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,436 - It's Nordberg, he's a cop. - No, he was dealin' 'H'. 160 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,192 - What? - He was dirty! 161 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,078 Scum! I ought to run you in right now! 162 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,550 He worked at Ludwig's Shipping. He tried to push something. 163 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,837 - What are you gonna do about it? - Why should I tell you? 164 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,957 - Maybe this'll help. - I shouldn't tell you. 165 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,395 Can you spot me a 20? How about now? 166 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,550 I'm going down to Ludwig's office. 167 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,154 I'll find out if you're telling the truth. 168 00:16:56,120 --> 00:17:00,079 Vincent Ludwig owned one of the city's largest corporations. 169 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,628 A respected business man and civic leader, 170 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,792 he was to chair the Queen's reception committee. 171 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,953 Now I was about to question him about drugs and attempted murder. 172 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,592 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 173 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,513 Lieutenant Drebin to see you, sir. 174 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,828 Show him in. 175 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,998 - Lieutenant. - The feeling is mutual. 176 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,709 Nice to meet you, too. Cuban? 177 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:41,112 No, Dutch-lrish. My father was from Wales. 178 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,679 Sit down. 179 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,877 - What a magnificent office. - Thank you, Lieutenant. 180 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:50,317 Most objects I have collected over a period of many years - 181 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,916 my Gainsborough, Ming vases. Priceless! 182 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,755 They are objects which I feel reflect my personality, 183 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,956 Iike the Japanese fighting fish - 184 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,952 beautiful, graceful, elegant... 185 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,190 yet single-minded of purpose 186 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,795 and deadly when it finds what it wants. 187 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:15,795 This particular one is valued at over $20,000. 188 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,394 A luxury item, to be certain, 189 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,234 but I am a man who appreciates the finer things in life. 190 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:26,233 Oh, this... This is a rare Samurai pen, 191 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,118 a gift from Emperor Hirohito. 192 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,079 Unbreakable. Impervious to everything but water. 193 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,836 - Its value is beyond estimation. - That's fascinating. 194 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:42,675 But l'm sure you didn't pay this visit for a lecture on fine art. 195 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,320 To what do I owe the honour? 196 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,075 I'm investigating the attempted murder of a dock worker, 197 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,275 a man named Nordberg, a police officer. 198 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,036 He is still alive, then? 199 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,395 He was shot six times. 200 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,598 Fortunately, the bullets missed every vital organ. 201 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,229 - The salt water preserved him. - So they... 202 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,709 So they got him to the hospital in time? 203 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,634 He's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. 204 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,837 This certainly comes as a shock to me. 205 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,948 As you know, l'm not the kind of man who takes such things lightly. 206 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,794 There is no room in my organisation for criminal activity. 207 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:30,112 Look out there - a vast commercial development built by me. 208 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,113 Do you have any idea what was out there just five years ago? 209 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,511 You bet you do. Orange groves! 210 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,558 Acres of them. As far as the eye could see. 211 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:45,316 But now that land will generate ten times the amount of profit. 212 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,148 Are you all right, Lieutenant? 213 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,470 Let me get you some Kleenex. 214 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,870 Has this officer - 215 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,996 What's his name? Nordberg - 216 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,959 been able to tell you anything? 217 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:05,352 Well, he hasn't been able to tell us a thing so far, 218 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,238 but as soon as he regains consciousness, 219 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:12,279 we'll see if he can still play the guitar. 220 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,670 - Pardon? - I've taken up a lot of your time. 221 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,274 I'd like to look at your employment records 222 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,715 and speak to someone in Personnel. 223 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,313 Of course. 224 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,949 - Dominique, send in Miss Spencer. - Yes, sir. 225 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,556 I am quite busy making arrangements for the royal visit, 226 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,394 but I will have my assistant provide you with anything you need. 227 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,711 You've been very co-operative. I'll note that in my report. 228 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,552 My pleasure. 229 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:46,717 Miss Spencer! This is Lieutenant Drebin from Police Squad. 230 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,194 Hello...Mr Drebin. 231 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,353 Hello. 232 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,668 Oh! 233 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:18,953 Her hair was the colour of gold in old paintings. 234 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,117 She had a full set of curves 235 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:27,796 and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. 236 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,429 She gave me a look I could feel in my hip pocket. 237 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:37,113 Yep, this was starting to get interesting. 238 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,956 - Nice beaver. - Thank you. 239 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,874 - I just had it stuffed. - Let me help you with that. 240 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,758 This should be what you're looking for - 241 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,479 the shipping and employment records for Pier 32. 242 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,074 Thank you. 243 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,594 I've heard police work is dangerous. 244 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,910 Yes, that's why I carry a big gun. 245 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,715 Couldn't it go off accidentally? 246 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,995 I used to have that problem. 247 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,036 What did you do about it? 248 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,509 I just think about baseball. 249 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,391 That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet you have there. 250 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,153 Did it slip down there again? 251 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,993 Yes, well... I'll quickly go through these 252 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,036 and get them back to you tomorrow. 253 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:31,591 Fine, but there's no rush. I mean, whenever you're through. 254 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,673 Thank you. I wish there was some way I could repay you. 255 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:40,754 How about dinner? I know a place that serves great Viking food. 256 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,799 It's tempting, but l'm afraid I must rest this evening, 257 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,836 tomorrow being Arbor Day. 258 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,673 Of course. Perhaps some other time. 259 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,196 - How about a rain check? - Let's just stick to dinner. 260 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,750 Thank you for your help, Miss Spencer. 261 00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,996 My pleasure. 262 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,595 - Well? - Mr Ludwig, you startled me! 263 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,477 I'm sorry, my dear. 264 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,597 Did you give the lieutenant what he wanted? 265 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,148 I gave him copies of the files for Pier 32. 266 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,196 Good. That's good. 267 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:18,070 He is an intriguing fellow, don't you think? 268 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,994 Well, I don't know. I've only just met him. 269 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,877 He seems very nice. 270 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,032 Jane, I realise this is an unusual request, 271 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:30,317 but if there is something illegal going on in this company, 272 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,029 I need to know about it, so we can root it out. 273 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,111 That's why I want you to... 274 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:40,273 well, to get to know Drebin a little better, 275 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,316 find out what he knows. 276 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,073 Wouldn't this be best handled by the police? 277 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,357 We are letting the police handle it, my dear! 278 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,398 But we need to know the facts quickly 279 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,472 before anything gets into the newspapers. 280 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,838 Don't forget, I have a responsibility to the stockholders. 281 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,310 Well...if you put it that way... 282 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,154 - Yes, l'll do my best. - That's better. 283 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,878 I'm sure you will. 284 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:21,072 It was about 4pm when I returned to Police Squad. 285 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:25,597 I wanted to see what the lab had come up with on Nordberg's jacket, 286 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,035 the one they'd found on the docks. 287 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:31,669 You can tell a lot from fibre samples if they aren't too wet. 288 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,228 I was hoping we wouldn't come up dry. 289 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,878 Hey, look out! 290 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,712 Police! Halt! 291 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,033 Anybody catch the licence plate? 292 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,398 Anybody get a look at the driver? 293 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,831 Take the names of everybody here for questioning. 294 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,549 I've got to get...inside. 295 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,271 Hi, Ed, Ted. You got those fibre samples yet? 296 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,351 - We got some action here. - What? 297 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,795 We're testing our anti-graffiti wall. 298 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,677 We've got customers. 299 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,309 It reacts when the spray hits the sensors. 300 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,590 You've done it again - mazel tov! 301 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,353 Good work. What will you think of next? 302 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,396 Now that you mention it, 303 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,233 here's something we developed only yesterday. 304 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,039 To the casual observer - an ordinary shoe. 305 00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:43,874 But in actuality... it makes a handy weapon. 306 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,077 And everything a cop would need. 307 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,151 We call it the Swiss Army Shoe. 308 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:53,631 - Great. And the fibre samples? - Just one more thing. 309 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,915 See these cufflinks l'm wearing? 310 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,471 They're not just cufflinks. Each one fires a single pin-sized dart, 311 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,518 that knocks out your victim for a few minutes. 312 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,750 Let me demonstrate on Ed. 313 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,234 Ted! Why? 314 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,038 Don't worry. He'll be up and around in no time. 315 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:19,079 - Why don't you take a pair? - Actually, I could use another pair. 316 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,957 I think you'll like them. 317 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,679 - Want this, chief? - Thank you, Al. 318 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,718 There's something on the side of your mouth, Al. 319 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,234 No, no. The other side. 320 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,836 As you requested, we took some fibre samples from Nordberg's jacket. 321 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,229 I'm afraid it doesn't look good. 322 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,676 - What do you mean? - Take a look for yourself. 323 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,914 - I can't see anything. - Use your open eye, Frank. 324 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,556 Yeah, I can see it now. 325 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:52,076 At first, it appears to be the normal cotton fibres. 326 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,754 But we discovered a fine white powder. 327 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,430 Pure heroin. 328 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,478 How well do you know Nordberg? 329 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,996 We were partners for nine years and he's my best friend. 330 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,356 We can't allow personal feelings to get in the way. 331 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:12,991 - Are you saying that Nordberg...? - The Queen arrives in two days. 332 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,514 If the press should pick this up, 333 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,558 it could be embarrassing for the police and the city. 334 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,713 I'm sorry, Frank. I'm giving you 24 hours to clear Nordberg. 335 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,756 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 336 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:39,277 - A Mr Pahpshmir is here. - Show him in. 337 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,158 Is there something wrong, Mr Ludwig? 338 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,912 No, it's nothing. 339 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,073 - Then may we get down to business? - Certainly. Have a seat. 340 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,152 I can carry out your request. 341 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:02,313 - My price is $20 million. - Your price is not a problem. 342 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,515 But there is concern on the part of those I represent, 343 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:13,152 that you would be able to... complete so difficult a task. 344 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,515 Tell me, Mr Pahpshmir, 345 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:20,958 in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? 346 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:26,319 I would think anyone who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. 347 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:31,155 Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin. 348 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,233 One who doesn't know he is an assassin. 349 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,880 - Care for some tea? - Yes, please. 350 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,952 Dominique, service for two, please. 351 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,634 I must kill Pahpshmir. 352 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,915 - Cream and sugar, sir? - Mr Pahpshmir? 353 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,550 Cream only, please. 354 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:19,199 - There's a gun on the floor, sir! - Just leave it. It's all right. 355 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,397 - The tea, please. - Of course, sir. 356 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,637 Mr Pahpshmir, have you ever seen sensory-induced hypnosis? 357 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,676 I think I just have. 358 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,399 How will she get near the target? 359 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:37,268 Oh, I doubt whether it will be her. 360 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,909 Good secretaries are so hard to find these days. 361 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,514 And it seems to me... 362 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,951 anyone...can be an assassin. 363 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:55,751 I had 24 hours to find something to clear my friend's name. 364 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,673 I returned to the hospital with Ludwig's records 365 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,149 to try to jog Nordberg's memory. 366 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,789 Doctor, I have the chart, if you're ready to go over it. 367 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,872 I'll be with you when l've finished with Mr Nordberg. 368 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,951 Yes, Doctor. 369 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,840 You'll be out of here in a couple of... 370 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:27,269 - I'd like to see Officer Nordberg. - Sign in, please. 371 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,557 Wait a minute! Where's the police guard? 372 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,428 - Drebin called and sent him home. - Drebin? 373 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:39,913 I must kill Nordberg. I must kill Nordberg. 374 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,117 Drebin, Police Squad! Let go of that pillow! 375 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,113 Medical emergency! 376 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,875 Drebin, Police Squad. Follow that black car! 377 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,710 The car! Follow that car! 378 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,270 Stephanie, check your mirror. Signal. 379 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,715 Now pull into traffic. 380 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,830 Try and ease off on the brake. 381 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,879 - Give it a little gas. - I know a short cut. Turn left here! 382 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,355 - There he is! - Easy! 383 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,512 Turn right! Follow him! 384 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,354 It's OK. Normally, you would not be going 65 385 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,398 down the wrong way of a one-way street. 386 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,196 Apply the brakes. 387 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:19,872 Now put it in reverse. 388 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,389 - You dumb broad! - Stephanie... 389 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,596 Gently extend your arm. 390 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,550 Extend your middle finger. 391 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,158 - Very good. Well done. - There he is! 392 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,595 Go for it, Stephanie! 393 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,751 Excuse me. Excuse me. 394 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,150 All right, move on! Nothing to see here! 395 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,595 Please disperse! 396 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,114 Nothing to see here. Please! 397 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,757 The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed. 398 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,593 The questions kept coming up again and again, 399 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,671 Iike bubbles in a case of soda. 400 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,955 Who was this character in the hospital? 401 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,715 Why was he trying to kill Nordberg...and for whom? 402 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:00,554 Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof, 403 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,108 but somehow, I didn't entirely trust him. 404 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,829 Why was the 'I Luv You' not listed in Ludwig's records? 405 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,559 If it was, did he know about it? 406 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:11,790 If he didn't, who did? 407 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,996 And where the hell was l? 408 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,354 It was almost midnight when I got home. 409 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,079 I just wanted to slip under my blankets, 410 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,436 but my night was just about to begin. 411 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,995 You're late. 412 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,680 That depends on what l'm late for. 413 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,718 You said we should have dinner some time. 414 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,553 Tonight became 'some time'. 415 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,030 I'm boiling a roast. 416 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,589 How hot and wet do you like it? 417 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:27,708 Very hot and awfully wet. 418 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,395 You seem to know your way around a kitchen. 419 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,790 I'm just as handy in other rooms of the house. 420 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,110 That shirt looks familiar. 421 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:41,273 It's yours. I didn't want to get stained or wrinkled. 422 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,238 At least...not yet. 423 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:51,239 Do you mind if I slip into something more comfortable? 424 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,709 There. That's better. 425 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,712 I hope you've brought your appetite. 426 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,597 I've brought everything. 427 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,194 Well, then, dig in. 428 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:18,157 Interesting. Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today. 429 00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:20,515 I was young. I needed the work. 430 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,592 No, they were taken at Ludwig's docks. 431 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,753 A ship came in, a Panamanian ship. It wasn't on Ludwig's records. 432 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,035 Probably an oversight. 433 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,317 How is your...meat? 434 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:38,231 You be the judge of that. 435 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,113 Mmm... 436 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,155 I've got nine more. 437 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,440 - Have you seen that ship? - I don't know. 438 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:59,195 It doesn't look like ours, but we deal with so many ships. 439 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,078 Has Officer Nordberg told you anything? 440 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,039 No, there's been another attempt on his life. He's in a coma. 441 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:10,238 That's terrible! This world is such a violent place. 442 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,914 If it wasn't, l'd be out of a job, 443 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,516 but l'd give it up tomorrow to live in a world without crime. 444 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,636 That's beautiful. 445 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:26,439 This is all happening too fast. 446 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,595 - I've been hurt before. - I'm sorry. 447 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,956 I'd known her for years. 448 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,271 We used to go to all the police functions together. 449 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,432 How I loved her, but she had her music. 450 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,193 I think she had her music. 451 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,909 She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. 452 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,879 I don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to sing. 453 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,793 Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. 454 00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:01,749 I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was. 455 00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,435 It's the same old story. Boy finds girl. 456 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,080 Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. 457 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,118 Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. 458 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,350 Girl dies in a blimp accident 459 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,193 over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. 460 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,238 - Goodyear? - No, the worst. 461 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:21,992 Poor dear! 462 00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:28,516 Now, now. I don't want to upset you. 463 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,478 Frank, it's not that. 464 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,869 Why did you have to be so wonderful? 465 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:39,956 - There's something I must tell you. - No! No need to tell me anything. 466 00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,838 What's in the past doesn't matter anyway. 467 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,273 Maybe... 468 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:49,115 Maybe we're just two lonely souls who have found each other. 469 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,149 Funny-face! 470 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:15,715 I want you to know... I practise safe sex. 471 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,472 So do l. 472 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:51,837 I had a wonderful day, Frank. I can't believe we just met yesterday. 473 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,638 You really mean that? You're not just saying it, 474 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:58,075 because we exchanged bodily fluids? 475 00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,391 No, I really mean it. You're very special. 476 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:05,632 - Can I interest you in a nightcap? - No, thanks, I don't wear them. 477 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,950 Actually, l'm on stake-out tonight. 478 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:11,794 I'll be thinking about you. I'll call you tomorrow. 479 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,479 OK. 480 00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,676 Good night! 481 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,558 The answer's up there in Ludwig's office. 482 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,473 Call it what you will - a hunch, women's intuition. 483 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,676 Ludwig knows more than he's saying. 484 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:44,594 A hunch won't stand up in court. Where are your hard facts? 485 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,389 He's the only one except us who knew Nordberg was still alive. 486 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:52,758 Next thing we know, some thug tries to knock him off. 487 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:57,595 Maybe. But breaking into Ludwig's office is taking a big chance. 488 00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:00,990 I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, 489 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:04,072 crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan. 490 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,116 There he is! 491 00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:12,792 Just trust me on this, Ed. I know l'm right. 492 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,757 OK, but be careful. 493 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,798 Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning. 494 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,356 Bingo! 495 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,078 '20,000,000 deposited, Omani Bank, Zurich, 496 00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,276 'upon proof of Queen's death.' 497 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,030 Destroying property, arson... 498 00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:21,112 sexual assault with a concrete dildo?! 499 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,919 What the hell were you doing there? 500 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,991 I'm sorry about that, Your Honour, 501 00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:30,153 but we believe Ludwig is involved in a plot to assassinate the Queen. 502 00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:33,869 That's ridiculous! Where is this 'evidence'? 503 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,748 Well...it...burned in the f-fire. 504 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:39,432 Gentlemen, 505 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,718 Vincent Ludwig is one of the most respected members of this community. 506 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:48,351 If we're very nice to him, he will agree not to press charges. 507 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,000 - Your Honour! - Did I make myself clear? 508 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,594 Yes, Your Honour. Good day. 509 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:57,756 Drebin! 510 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:03,870 I don't want any more trouble like you had last year. That's my policy. 511 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:08,988 When I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in a park, 512 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,038 I shoot the bastards. That's my policy. 513 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:18,673 That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of 'Julius Caesar'! 514 00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:23,231 - You killed five actors! Good ones. - Your Honour... 515 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:27,472 Your presence at the Queen's reception tonight is not necessary. 516 00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,437 Is that understood? 517 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,478 We understand, Your Honour. Thank you. 518 00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,034 The plane has taxied to a stop. 519 00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,998 Any minute now we expect the doors to open 520 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:02,548 and we'll get a glimpse of the Queen, 521 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:06,519 as she begins her first visit to Los Angeles in five years. 522 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,990 It's a balmy, beautiful evening too. 523 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:13,356 She's going from here to a formal reception... 524 00:48:19,720 --> 00:48:21,472 - Jane! - Frank! 525 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,478 I'm just making some dinner. Are you hungry? 526 00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:28,516 Maybe just a bite. 527 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,558 Ludwig wanted me to ask you to meet him tonight. 528 00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:36,031 There is something you should know. I was in his place last night. 529 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:40,750 How nice! Did he show you his Ming vases and rare oil paintings? 530 00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:44,992 Jane, I think that he's involved in a number of criminal activities. 531 00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,036 Frank, stop it! 532 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,317 Vincent Ludwig is a well-respected, generous, kind man. 533 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,517 - You don't know him like I do. - How's that? 534 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:58,833 - What's that supposed to mean? - I'm sorry. I'm worried about you. 535 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,879 I don't trust him and I don't want you mixed up in anything dangerous. 536 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,077 Are Woo back in business? They closed down three years ago. 537 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:10,995 Gee, has it been that long? I don't feel like Chinese tonight anyway. 538 00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:17,151 It's sweet of you to be concerned, but you're wrong about Vincent. 539 00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:20,869 He's such a gentleman. He's so generous. 540 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,916 He just wants to talk with you 541 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,117 to clear up any doubts you might have. 542 00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,191 - When? - Tonight. 543 00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:31,033 Meet him at the 7th Street stockyards. 544 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,873 All right, but promise you'll be careful. 545 00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:37,430 Of course I will, funny-face, for you. 546 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,313 I've got to go. See you tomorrow. 547 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:45,075 Are you sure you won't have something to eat? 548 00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,350 Ludwig? 549 00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,398 - Drebin? - Yeah, l'm Drebin. 550 00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:18,075 I have a message for you from Vincent Ludwig. 551 00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:22,836 I'm sorry, I can't hear you! 552 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,798 Don't fire the gun while you're talking. 553 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:52,030 All right, put your gun down and your hands up! 554 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,999 Matthews, stake out that end, 555 00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:30,993 and card-check for anyone suspicious looking. 556 00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,071 Frank, what are you doing here? 557 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,789 I've been trading shots with one of Ludwig's goons. 558 00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:40,429 They're planning to do her tonight, here. 559 00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:45,275 - We better be on the lookout. - Excuse me, ma'am, security. 560 00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:51,556 - What's the meaning of this? - Relax! Nothing will happen. 561 00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,598 - I didn't do anything. - Yeah? What about this? 562 00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:58,832 You think we were born yesterday? You didn't do anything, huh? 563 00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,433 I got rights! 564 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,637 Ed, he's got a picture of your wife! 565 00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:05,676 Ethel! 566 00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,760 All right, anyone else here seeing his wife? 567 00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:13,071 That's all right, Frank. Let's get in the hall. 568 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,396 Are you enjoying yourself, my dear? 569 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:29,917 I'm so excited to be here. I appreciate your inviting me. 570 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,675 Pleasure's all mine. Perhaps afterwards we can... 571 00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:37,552 - Drebin! - Frank! 572 00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,632 You're both right. Surprised to see me, Mr Ludwig? 573 00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:43,518 This is not the time or place to talk. 574 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,068 It's way past the time we talked. 575 00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,515 The gloves are off, l'm playing hardball. 576 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:52,718 It's fourth and fifteen, and you're looking at a full court press. 577 00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:56,588 Mr Drebin! lf you have evidence, then use it. 578 00:52:56,680 --> 00:53:00,468 If not, I am warning you - get off my back! 579 00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:02,516 Or it will cost you dearly. 580 00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:09,199 - Frank, what's wrong? - A lot of things, sweetie-pie. 581 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,829 A meeting that turned into a peek-a-boo session with bullets, 582 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,037 set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin. 583 00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,793 Funny-face, what are you talking about? 584 00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,759 My stockyard meeting, butter-wings. Don't you remember setting that up? 585 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,877 Mr Ludwig said you'd called it off! Believe me! 586 00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,190 Thumb me another one, shuckie-lumps! 587 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,919 Frank, it's the truth! 588 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:34,788 Cops and women don't mix. Like eating a spoonful of Drano. 589 00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:38,555 It'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. 590 00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:40,596 Too bad, sugar-puff. 591 00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,599 We could have been something. 592 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,240 I only did what I was told to do! 593 00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,550 - Like make love to me? - Frank! 594 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,316 That makes things easier, Princess. 595 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,597 To think I trusted you! I made a big mistake. 596 00:53:56,680 --> 00:54:00,116 - You can take this back. - Whose is that? 597 00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:06,159 Doesn't matter. Take care of yourself, baby. 598 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:09,311 By the way... 599 00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:11,277 I faked every orgasm. 600 00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,156 Funny-face! 601 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,354 And to commemorate our friendship, 602 00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:21,797 the city of Los Angeles is proud to present to the Royal Family 603 00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:27,750 this Revolutionary War musket, donated by Mr Vincent Ludwig. 604 00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:32,112 Ladies and gentlemen, Her Royal Highness, 605 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,919 Queen Elizabeth ll! 606 00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:13,196 It's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! 607 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,794 What is journalism coming to? 608 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:19,350 You're laying on top of the Queen with her legs wrapped around you 609 00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:20,953 and they call that news! 610 00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:24,436 They can't kick you off the Force, it's not fair. 611 00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:27,273 I know. Life isn't always fair. 612 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:32,559 Just think, the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested. 613 00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:34,676 Hey, look at that! 614 00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:39,675 The missing evidence in the Kilner case! My God, he WAS innocent! 615 00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,911 He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. 616 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:46,231 Well...what's the use? 617 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,278 What good are these damn awards and citations? 618 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:50,918 Frank... 619 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,434 Frank, that's not your desk! 620 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,717 Frank! l've been looking all over for you! 621 00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,758 Running another errand for your boyfriend? 622 00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:03,276 I tried to call last night. I went by your place. Where were you? 623 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,669 I was out walking. All night. 624 00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:08,638 Listen to me! I have important information. 625 00:56:08,720 --> 00:56:12,315 There was never anything between Vincent and me. 626 00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,631 - He likes East German men. - What about you? 627 00:56:15,720 --> 00:56:17,790 I like cops. 628 00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:21,589 - All right! Yeah! - Settle down. Take it easy. 629 00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,478 - What've you got? - I overheard Ludwig. 630 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:30,475 You were right. He is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen! 631 00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,835 - Where? - At the baseball game. 632 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:36,196 The Queen will be there as Ludwig's guest. 633 00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:40,239 Is Ludwig going to shoot her in front of 60,000 fans? 634 00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:42,993 No, a player, during the 7th inning stretch. 635 00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:45,799 - It starts in 20 minutes. - I'll go. 636 00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:48,758 - I'll go with you. - Stay with Ludwig 637 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,957 - to allay suspicion. - OK, let's go! 638 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:53,758 Wait! Wait! 639 00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:57,753 I've gotten you into enough trouble already. I'll go alone. 640 00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:02,550 No! This'll get you back on the Force. We're right behind you. 641 00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:09,353 Frank? I wanted you to know now, 642 00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:13,558 I've loved you since the first day I met you, and l'll never stop. 643 00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,596 I'm a very lucky woman. 644 00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:17,513 So am l. 645 00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:29,832 Good afternoon. We're coming live from the Big A, 646 00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,957 where the California Angels meet the Seattle Mariners 647 00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:37,192 in their showdown for the Division League. 648 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:40,875 Hello! l'm Curt Gowdy, along with Jim Palmer, 649 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:43,918 Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Mel Allen, 650 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,072 Dick Enberg and Dr Joyce Brothers. 651 00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,799 Join us for this all-important ball game. 652 00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,552 And a special game it is. 653 00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:55,315 As we know, it is being attended by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. 654 00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,960 I'm sure she'll enjoy this game, Jim. 655 00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:00,991 We've got all the exits covered. 656 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,071 I ought to arrest Ludwig right now. 657 00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,869 No, we've got to let him make the first move. 658 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:10,509 The Mayor would have you arrested. You've got to stay out of sight. 659 00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,160 I've got to get that assassin. 660 00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,310 It could be any of those players. 661 00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,790 I've got to get down on that field and search those players. 662 00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,270 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and welcome 663 00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:24,828 Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth ll! 664 00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,156 One moment. 665 00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:39,953 Over there - these seats are taken. 666 00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:58,270 My dear, is something bothering you? 667 00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,998 No, why do you ask? 668 00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:04,119 You haven't said a word. You seem...nervous. 669 00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:08,671 Well, you know how important this game is for the Angels. 670 00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:12,196 Why he not here now? I do not like to wait for him. 671 00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:17,832 Mr Pallazzo, our head usher will be here in two minutes. Please wait. 672 00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,118 - He should be here now! - I'll send him right over. 673 00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,158 I do not wait for him! He waits for me! 674 00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:31,995 - Yes? - Mr Pallazzo? 675 00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:35,629 I am the head usher. I am here to... Excuse me. 676 00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:44,390 - Mr Pallazzo? - Yes? 677 00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:48,314 - I am the head usher. - One second. 678 00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:49,833 Ladies and gentlemen, 679 00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:54,072 on behalf of the California Angels and the City of Los Angeles, 680 00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,469 on the occasion of the royal visit, 681 00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:59,916 please welcome internationally-renowned opera star, 682 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,309 Enrico Pallazzo! 683 01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,476 Ladies and gentlemen, let us honour America, 684 01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:14,271 as Mr Pallazzo will now sing our national anthem. 685 01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:36,473 And now we'll wait for the exchange of line-ups 686 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:38,755 and the start of today's ball game. 687 01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:51,431 Excuse me, could you tell me, is this an official bat? 688 01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:58,036 The Queen's visit has brought a sell-out crowd! 689 01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:02,238 And the fans are being entertained by the stadium's Angel Vision, 690 01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:06,029 showing some unusual moments in baseball over the years! 691 01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,436 Sorry, fellas! 692 01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,355 How about that? 693 01:02:58,040 --> 01:02:59,758 Ladies and gentlemen, 694 01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:04,197 now taking the field - your California Angels! 695 01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:13,718 For everybody's safety, 696 01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:17,873 we ask that you do not throw any objects on the field. 697 01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:20,349 We thank you for your co-operation. 698 01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:27,277 As the Angels take the field, we're ready for the first pitch ceremony 699 01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:31,194 with the Queen of England ready to toss out the first ball. 700 01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:38,393 How about that? Let's have a round of applause! 701 01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:40,789 We're ready for the start, 702 01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:43,713 as these lovely ladies would agree. 703 01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:47,190 Those are the players' wives, here to enjoy the game. 704 01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,877 What d'you say, Cummings? Are we gonna do this today? 705 01:03:57,960 --> 01:03:59,518 Do what? 706 01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,318 Play ball! 707 01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:07,153 Frank! Al, it's Frank! 708 01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:16,198 The game's under way. Dave Spiwack ready to face Jay Johnstone! 709 01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:37,837 - Nothing to report. - Don't worry, Al. 710 01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:41,230 If one of the players is the killer, Frank'll find him, 711 01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:44,437 even if he has to search every one of them. 712 01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:47,751 ..lead-off hitter Jay Johnstone. 713 01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:51,674 Hello, pal. Let's see if that uniform's on straight. 714 01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:56,436 Good here. Now let's see the shirt. You should take a large. 715 01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:59,512 It's a little tight in the crotch. 716 01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:01,909 All right? All set? 717 01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,548 OK, play ball! 718 01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:35,797 Strike? 719 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,195 Yeah, strike! 720 01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:57,593 Stee-rike two! 721 01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:17,200 Stee-rike three! 722 01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:06,672 You're clean! 723 01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:54,393 Have you found him yet? 724 01:08:54,480 --> 01:08:56,948 No, and l've searched almost everybody. 725 01:08:57,040 --> 01:09:01,033 Yeah. There's only one more out before the seventh inning stretch. 726 01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:05,432 You're going to have to stall them. Don't let 'em get that third out. 727 01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:07,112 Right. 728 01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:14,317 The Mariners' number four - Armando Criscione! Criscione! 729 01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:24,073 - Ball! - Ball? 730 01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:35,638 Ball! 731 01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:49,000 Get...get...what the...? Get off! 732 01:09:50,040 --> 01:09:51,996 Catch it! Catch it! 733 01:09:56,280 --> 01:09:58,271 - Get 'em off! - Go, go, go! 734 01:10:02,360 --> 01:10:04,874 - Safe! - What do you mean, safe? 735 01:10:04,960 --> 01:10:06,996 I don't believe it! 736 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:10,752 Second base! On two! 737 01:10:11,880 --> 01:10:13,871 There's a throw by the catcher 738 01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:17,236 and now they've got Criscione hung up between 1st and 2nd! 739 01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:19,356 What the hell are you doing? 740 01:10:19,440 --> 01:10:20,555 What? 741 01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:25,236 - You're not supposed to do that! - Wait a minute! Stop that! 742 01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:27,914 Put that back down! Give me the ball! 743 01:10:30,440 --> 01:10:31,998 I'll get you! 744 01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:34,275 It's hard to believe, 745 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:37,909 but apparently the umpires have got Criscione in a run-down! 746 01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:42,192 - Safe! - Safe? 747 01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:43,633 How about that? 748 01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:45,472 - Out! - Safe! 749 01:10:45,560 --> 01:10:47,471 - Out! - He was safe! 750 01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:48,709 - Out! - Safe! 751 01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:51,189 There's a sight l've never seen! 752 01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:54,757 - Safe! - What are you doing? 753 01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:56,319 Safe! Safe! Safe! 754 01:10:56,400 --> 01:10:59,073 - He was out! - He was safe! 755 01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:01,833 You idiot! He was out! 756 01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:04,195 All right, you're out of here! 757 01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:07,238 - What? - You can't throw an umpire out! 758 01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:09,754 All right, YOU'RE out! 759 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:14,793 Hold on! Even the guy running the scoreboard says he was out! 760 01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:18,077 And he's up in the mezzanine! 761 01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:19,513 It's the third out! 762 01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:39,152 I must kill...the Queen. 763 01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:46,108 I must kill...the Queen. 764 01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:50,676 Frank, it's the right-fielder! 765 01:11:56,720 --> 01:12:00,315 - You're the boss! - It was safe. 766 01:12:00,400 --> 01:12:02,868 Now, we're going to take a walk. 767 01:12:03,240 --> 01:12:05,993 How could you do something so vicious? 768 01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:10,756 It was easy. Don't forget I spent two years as a building contractor. 769 01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:12,990 Now, let's go quietly. 770 01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:19,311 Hey, look at that! Let's get him! 771 01:12:30,120 --> 01:12:32,236 Kick him in the balls! 772 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,758 I must kill...the Queen. 773 01:13:17,400 --> 01:13:19,152 Look out! 774 01:13:23,960 --> 01:13:28,112 The umpire... He saved the Queen's life! 775 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:30,156 That's not the umpire, Your Honour. 776 01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,116 Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo! 777 01:13:46,640 --> 01:13:49,598 Frank! Frank, help! 778 01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:52,558 Frank! Frank, help! Frank! 779 01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:08,551 Hold it, Ludwig! 780 01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:10,915 Stay where you are! 781 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:13,355 - He's got a gun! - I know. 782 01:14:13,440 --> 01:14:16,989 You ruined my life. Now l'm going to ruin yours. 783 01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:19,958 - Leave the girl alone! - I am. I'm going to kill you. 784 01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:21,996 I see. 785 01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:27,396 Two can play at that game! 786 01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:36,433 - You killed him! - No, just stunned. 787 01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:38,397 He'll be all right. 788 01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:46,272 Well... 789 01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:13,638 Frank...it's horrible! 790 01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:18,759 - It's so horrible! - I know, Ed. 791 01:15:19,360 --> 01:15:21,316 My father went the same way. 792 01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:40,399 I must kill...Frank Drebin. 793 01:15:40,480 --> 01:15:43,438 I must kill...Frank Drebin. 794 01:15:44,480 --> 01:15:46,630 No, no, don't shoot! 795 01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:50,669 Jane...it's me... 796 01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:54,273 Funny-face. 797 01:15:54,360 --> 01:15:58,035 I must kill Frank Drebin. 798 01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:00,793 You love Frank Drebin. 799 01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:03,758 And Frank Drebin loves you. 800 01:16:03,840 --> 01:16:07,594 Jane, if you don't love me, you might as well pull that trigger, 801 01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:13,232 because without you, I wouldn't want to live anyway. 802 01:16:13,320 --> 01:16:16,630 I've finally found someone I can love - 803 01:16:16,720 --> 01:16:20,713 a good, clean love... without utensils. 804 01:16:20,800 --> 01:16:23,519 I must kill Frank Drebin. 805 01:16:24,640 --> 01:16:26,915 It's a topsy-turvy world, Jane, 806 01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:31,437 and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans, 807 01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:34,910 but this is our hill and these are our beans. 808 01:16:36,360 --> 01:16:40,717 Since I met you, l've noticed things I never knew where there - 809 01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:44,395 birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf, 810 01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:46,755 stop lights... 811 01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:48,432 I must kill... 812 01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:51,751 Jane, this morning... 813 01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:55,879 I bought something for you. It's not very much, 814 01:16:55,960 --> 01:17:00,875 but pretty good for an honest policeman's salary. 815 01:17:00,960 --> 01:17:02,837 It's an engagement ring. 816 01:17:02,920 --> 01:17:04,876 I'd have given it to you earlier, 817 01:17:04,960 --> 01:17:08,077 but I wanted to wait until we were alone. 818 01:17:12,080 --> 01:17:14,958 - I... - I love you, Jane. 819 01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:21,912 Oh, Frank! 820 01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:35,990 I'm sorry! 821 01:17:46,160 --> 01:17:50,472 I'm sorry that I yelled at you yesterday, I really am. 822 01:17:52,360 --> 01:17:53,679 Drebin! 823 01:17:53,760 --> 01:17:56,320 I was wrong about you. 824 01:17:56,400 --> 01:18:00,359 This city and the whole world owes you a debt of gratitude. 825 01:18:00,440 --> 01:18:01,589 Thank you. 826 01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:04,877 And Monday morning we want you back at Police Squad... 827 01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:08,794 - with a promotion to captain. - Mayor... 828 01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:13,396 Don't thank me. There's someone else here who wants to thank you. 829 01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:15,755 - Nordberg! - Hiya, buddy! 830 01:18:15,840 --> 01:18:18,593 The doc says I should be on my feet in a week! 831 01:18:18,680 --> 01:18:22,434 - And back on the Force! - Nordberg, that's wonderful! 832 01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:26,871 Frank! Everyone should have a friend like you!