{1193}{1303}Listen to me! Killing a few hostages|is not sufficient!
{1306}{1367}The Americans must be made to suffer.
{1370}{1425}We must humiliate them.
{1428}{1490}You do not go far enough,|General Amin.
{1493}{1582}We must strip their entrails out|and drag them to Damascus,
{1585}{1676}until they include us|in the peace process.
{1679}{1786}Nonsense! This solution|is not bold enough for Libya.
{1789}{1885}l say wipe out Washington|and New York.
{1888}{1976}What? And spoil|three years of good PR?
{1979}{2055}The Americans believe l'm a nice guy.
{2058}{2158}ln some of their polls, l'm more|popular than their president!
{2218}{2324}Gentlemen! Gentlemen!|This is getting us nowhere.
{2327}{2406}lf we do nothing else this week,
{2409}{2500}we must conceive|at least one terrorist act
{2503}{2570}that will show all the world
{2573}{2644}that the United States,|the great Satan,
{2647}{2722}is but a paper tiger - a weak nation,
{2725}{2839}a weak people,|a people ripe for destruction.
{2842}{2927}Cowards, no longer willing to fight.
{3439}{3487}l knew it!
{4344}{4404}Hey, who are you?
{4407}{4468}l'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin,|Police Squad.
{4471}{4548}And don't ever|let me catch you guys in America!
{5222}{5270}Watch out!
{8207}{8271}..98, 99, 100. lt's all here.
{8274}{8350}This completes|our first shipment of heroin.
{8353}{8403}100~/. pure.
{8406}{8459}lt better be - all 40 kilos.
{8462}{8543}The final shipment|will be delivered in three days.
{8546}{8630}- Then we'll expect payment.|- Don't worry.'
{9310}{9370}Police! Throw down your guns!
{9912}{9960}Kill him.
{11111}{11220}lt's a great day for Americans.|This man alone...
{11438}{11473}There he is!
{11501}{11549}No flowers, thank you.
{11552}{11638}Welcome home, Frank. Good work|in Beirut. We heard about it.
{11641}{11739}Thanks. l want to know one thing -|is it true about Victoria?
{11742}{11828}l'm afraid so.|She ran off with some guy.
{11831}{11892}They got married last week.
{11895}{11982}Then it's over.|All of this is meaningless.
{11985}{12051}l did it for her. Everything.
{12054}{12113}And now she's gone.
{12116}{12215}And you came down here|to get a hot story, didn't you?
{12218}{12278}Pictures of me|to sell your newspapers.
{12281}{12370}- Frank...|- Sure, you think l'm a big hero.
{12373}{12481}Do any of you understand|how a man can hurt inside?
{12484}{12534}Frank, they're not here for you.
{12537}{12596}''Weird Al'' Yankovic is on the plane.
{12729}{12795}What about the wedding?|What was she wearing?
{12798}{12879}Don't torture yourself!|Put her out of your mind.
{12882}{12969}l can't get her out of my mind.|What about the guy?
{12972}{13049}- Do you know anything about him?|- Not much.
{13052}{13103}Just that he's an Olympic gymnast
{13106}{13170}and it's the best sex she's ever had.
{13199}{13306}l trusted her and followed my heart.|Foolishly, it seems.
{13309}{13371}l'm just gonna have|to learn to forget.
{13374}{13496}That's why l took my vacation|in Beirut - to find some peace.
{13499}{13547}lt won't be easy.
{13550}{13631}Everywhere l look,|something reminds me of her.
{13670}{13746}Maybe cops and women just don't mix.
{13749}{13830}What about Nordberg?|l came as soon as l heard.
{13833}{13889}He's alive, but on life support.
{13892}{13956}He's got a 50/50 chance of living,
{13959}{14057}though there's only|a 10~/. chance of that.
{14588}{14682}Mrs Nordberg, l think|we can save your husband's arm.
{14685}{14733}Where would you like it sent?
{14736}{14858}- Frank! l'm so glad you came!|- Wilma, l came as soon as l heard.
{14861}{14900}Thank you, Frank.
{14903}{14978}- Where's Nordberg?|- He's right here.
{14981}{15064}Nordberg, it's Frank, your buddy.
{15121}{15169}l'll get it!
{15254}{15327}Get the switch|at the back of the bed!
{15401}{15511}Nordberg, it's me, Frank.|Who did this to you?
{15514}{15561}l...love you.
{15592}{15686}l love you, too, Nordberg.|Who were they?
{15689}{15776}- Ship... Boat...|- That's right. A boat.
{15779}{15856}When you're better,|we'll go sailing together,
{15859}{15925}- just like last year.|- No... Drugs.
{15928}{16033}Nurse, give this man some drugs!|Can't you see he's in pain?
{16036}{16094}- Give him a shot, quickly!|- No...
{16097}{16173}Heroin! Heroin, Frank!
{16176}{16230}Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order.
{16233}{16308}Give me a couple of days|on that one.
{16363}{16466}Oh, my poor Nordberg!|He was such a good man, Frank.
{16469}{16573}He never wanted to hurt anyone.|Who would do such a thing?
{16576}{16615}lt's hard to tell.
{16618}{16738}A gang of thugs, a blackmailer,|an angry husband, a gay lover...
{16781}{16841}Frank, get a hold of yourself!
{16844}{16962}A good cop - needlessly cut down|by some cowardly hoodlums.
{16965}{17048}- No way for a man to die.|- You're right, Ed.
{17051}{17120}A parachute not opening -|that's the way to die,
{17123}{17181}getting caught in a combine,
{17184}{17246}having your nuts bit off|by a Laplander.
{17249}{17297}That's the way l want to go.
{17344}{17408}Frank! This is terrible!
{17411}{17539}Don't worry, Wilma.|Your husband is gonna be all right.
{17541}{17661}Just think positive.|Never let a doubt enter your mind.
{17664}{17711}He's right, Wilma,
{17714}{17831}but don't wait till the last minute|to fill out those organ donor cards.
{17834}{17922}What l'm trying to say is,|as soon as Nordberg is better,
{17925}{17976}he's welcome back at Police Squad.
{17979}{18099}Unless he's a drooling vegetable,|but that's only common sense.
{18154}{18252}Do you know why Nordberg|was at the waterfront?
{18290}{18343}No...
{18346}{18422}But l found this at home in a drawer.
{18451}{18605}A photograph!|''l Luv You'' out of Caracas.
{18608}{18672}A Panamanian ship.
{18674}{18774}When he said ''l love you'', he was|telling you the name of the ship!
{18777}{18850}l realise that...now.
{18853}{18943}- We'd better check this out.|- l want every available man on it.
{18946}{18995}l can't spare anybody.
{18998}{19096}We're in charge of security|for Queen Elizabeth's visit.
{19099}{19163}Wilma, whatever scum did this,
{19165}{19272}no man will rest until he's behind|bars. Let's grab a bite to eat.
{19404}{19521}Due to the extraordinary efforts|of some of our civic leaders,
{19524}{19638}Queen Elizabeth has included|the city of Los Angeles
{19641}{19740}as one of the cities she'll visit|during her American tour.
{19775}{19878}Will the city hire|additional security officers?
{19881}{20004}We have placed the Queen's security|in the hands of Police Squad,
{20007}{20081}a special division|of the Police Department,
{20084}{20157}represented here|by Lieutenant Frank Drebin.
{20253}{20301}Thank you, Your Honour.
{20347}{20370}Louder!
{20421}{20494}- You can use my radio mic.|- Thank you.
{20655}{20745}Thank you, Your Honour.|Protecting the Queen's safety
{20748}{20849}is a task that is gladly accepted|by Police Squad.
{20852}{20949}No matter how silly the idea|of having a queen might be to us,
{20952}{21071}as Americans we must be gracious|and considerate hosts.
{21119}{21163}Thank you, Lieutenant Drebin.
{21196}{21303}Of course, we all have a stake|in seeing that this portion
{21306}{21416}of the Queen's American tour|is completely protected.
{21419}{21534}And we can take pride|that the Queen...
{21649}{21727}lndeed, it is for all the people,
{21730}{21855}who will be able to share|in these...celebrations...
{21908}{21962}Especially exciting...
{22003}{22128}will be...the Queen's...|public appearances.
{22505}{22555}We also would like...
{22998}{23114}Ed and l drove to where Nordberg|had been found floating.
{23117}{23237}Without leads, you have to start|somewhere, and that was the harbour.
{23240}{23318}Please disperse. Please disperse.
{23321}{23424}There's nothing for you to see here.|Keep moving.
{23427}{23470}Where did they find him?
{23473}{23522}Out there.|Do you wanna take a dinghy?
{23525}{23601}No, l took care of that|at the press conference.
{23604}{23682}lt doesn't make sense.|Good policeman, bright future...
{23685}{23740}then something like this happens.
{23743}{23791}He was found by the nightwatchman.
{23794}{23859}l'm gonna talk to the harbour-master.
{23862}{23910}l'll walk around and snoop.
{24045}{24133}- Yeah?|- Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad.
{24136}{24197}l remember you. What do you want?
{24200}{24288}l wanna ask some questions.|Are you familiar with that face?
{24291}{24371}l don't know.|My memory ain't so great.
{24374}{24445}Oh, yeah?|Maybe this'll refresh your memory.
{24448}{24496}- Still hazy.|- How about this?
{24499}{24550}l remember. Why do you want to know?
{24553}{24637}- l can't tell you.|- Maybe this'll help.
{24640}{24724}- l don't think l should.|- Still don't think so?
{24727}{24810}- lt's Nordberg, he's a cop.|- No, he was dealin' 'H'.
{24813}{24854}- What?|- He was dirty!
{24857}{24926}Scum! l ought to|run you in right now!
{24929}{25013}He worked at Ludwig's Shipping.|He tried to push something.
{25016}{25095}- What are you gonna do about it?|- Why should l tell you?
{25098}{25173}- Maybe this'll help.|- l shouldn't tell you.
{25176}{25234}Can you spot me a 20? How about now?
{25237}{25288}l'm going down to Ludwig's office.
{25291}{25353}l'll find out|if you're telling the truth.
{25403}{25501}Vincent Ludwig owned one|of the city's largest corporations.
{25504}{25565}A respected business man|and civic leader,
{25568}{25644}he was to chair the Queen's reception|committee.
{25647}{25748}Now l was about to question him about|drugs and attempted murder.
{25892}{25964}- Mr Ludwig?|- Yes?
{25967}{26037}Lieutenant Drebin to see you, sir.
{26084}{26145}Show him in.
{26251}{26324}- Lieutenant.|- The feeling is mutual.
{26327}{26417}Nice to meet you, too. Cuban?
{26420}{26527}No, Dutch-lrish.|My father was from Wales.
{26530}{26566}Sit down.
{26569}{26646}- What a magnificent office.|- Thank you, Lieutenant.
{26649}{26757}Most objects l have collected|over a period of many years -
{26760}{26872}my Gainsborough, Ming vases.|Priceless!
{26875}{26993}They are objects which l feel|reflect my personality,
{26996}{27048}like the Japanese fighting fish -
{27051}{27123}beautiful, graceful, elegant...
{27126}{27179}yet single-minded of purpose
{27182}{27269}and deadly when it finds|what it wants.
{27272}{27394}This particular one|is valued at over $20,000.
{27397}{27459}A luxury item, to be certain,
{27462}{27555}but l am a man who appreciates|the finer things in life.
{27558}{27655}Oh, this...|This is a rare Samurai pen,
{27658}{27727}a gift from Emperor Hirohito.
{27730}{27826}Unbreakable.|lmpervious to everything but water.
{27829}{27945}- lts value is beyond estimation.|- That's fascinating.
{27948}{28066}But l'm sure you didn't pay this|visit for a lecture on fine art.
{28069}{28133}To what do l owe the honour?
{28135}{28226}l'm investigating the attempted|murder of a dock worker,
{28267}{28356}a man named Nordberg,|a police officer.
{28402}{28450}He is still alive, then?
{28453}{28509}He was shot six times.
{28516}{28589}Fortunately, the bullets missed|every vital organ.
{28592}{28680}- The salt water preserved him.|- So they...
{28683}{28742}So they got him|to the hospital in time?
{28745}{28840}He's in the intensive care ward|at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.
{28843}{28920}This certainly comes|as a shock to me.
{28923}{29048}As you know, l'm not the kind of man|who takes such things lightly.
{29051}{29144}There is no room in my organisation|for criminal activity.
{29147}{29252}Look out there - a vast|commercial development built by me.
{29255}{29352}Do you have any idea what was|out there just five years ago?
{29390}{29437}You bet you do. Orange groves!
{29440}{29513}Acres of them.|As far as the eye could see.
{29516}{29632}But now that land will generate|ten times the amount of profit.
{29667}{29728}Are you all right, Lieutenant?
{29731}{29786}Let me get you some Kleenex.
{29789}{29871}Has this officer -
{29874}{29924}What's his name? Nordberg -
{29927}{30023}been able to tell you anything?
{30026}{30133}Well, he hasn't been able|to tell us a thing so far,
{30136}{30205}but as soon as|he regains consciousness,
{30208}{30306}we'll see if he|can still play the guitar.
{30309}{30391}- Pardon?|- l've taken up a lot of your time.
{30394}{30456}l'd like to look|at your employment records
{30459}{30517}and speak to someone in Personnel.
{30520}{30557}Of course.
{30560}{30648}- Dominique, send in Miss Spencer.|- Yes, sir.
{30651}{30763}l am quite busy making arrangements|for the royal visit,
{30766}{30859}but l will have my assistant|provide you with anything you need.
{30862}{30942}You've been very co-operative.|l'll note that in my report.
{30945}{30988}My pleasure.
{31059}{31167}Miss Spencer! This is|Lieutenant Drebin from Police Squad.
{31194}{31254}Hello...Mr Drebin.
{31275}{31308}Hello.
{31486}{31516}Oh!
{31874}{31973}Her hair was the colour|of gold in old paintings.
{32002}{32077}She had a full set of curves
{32080}{32194}and the kind of legs|you'd like to suck on for a day.
{32197}{32285}She gave me a look|l could feel in my hip pocket.
{32326}{32427}Yep, this was starting|to get interesting.
{32565}{32648}- Nice beaver.|- Thank you.
{32651}{32746}- l just had it stuffed.|- Let me help you with that.
{32795}{32868}This should be|what you're looking for -
{32871}{32936}the shipping and employment records|for Pier 32.
{32939}{33001}Thank you.
{33004}{33064}l've heard police work is dangerous.
{33067}{33122}Yes, that's why l carry a big gun.
{33136}{33192}Couldn't it go off accidentally?
{33195}{33249}l used to have that problem.
{33252}{33300}What did you do about it?
{33303}{33362}l just think about baseball.
{33406}{33484}That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet|you have there.
{33487}{33553}Did it slip down there again?
{33556}{33624}Yes, well...|l'll quickly go through these
{33627}{33675}and get them back to you tomorrow.
{33678}{33789}Fine, but there's no rush.|l mean, whenever you're through.
{33792}{33891}Thank you. l wish there was|some way l could repay you.
{33894}{34018}How about dinner? l know a place|that serves great Viking food.
{34021}{34119}lt's tempting, but l'm afraid|l must rest this evening,
{34122}{34170}tomorrow being Arbor Day.
{34173}{34241}Of course. Perhaps some other time.
{34244}{34329}- How about a rain check?|- Let's just stick to dinner.
{34332}{34418}Thank you for your help,|Miss Spencer.
{34451}{34499}My pleasure.
{34502}{34589}- Well?|- Mr Ludwig, you startled me!
{34592}{34636}l'm sorry, my dear.
{34639}{34714}Did you give the lieutenant|what he wanted?
{34717}{34778}l gave him copies of the files|for Pier 32.
{34781}{34829}Good. That's good.
{34832}{34951}He is an intriguing fellow,|don't you think?
{34954}{35049}Well, l don't know.|l've only just met him.
{35052}{35096}He seems very nice.
{35099}{35175}Jane, l realise|this is an unusual request,
{35178}{35257}but if there is something illegal|going on in this company,
{35260}{35350}l need to know about it,|so we can root it out.
{35353}{35402}That's why l want you to...
{35405}{35506}well, to get to know Drebin|a little better,
{35509}{35557}find out what he knows.
{35560}{35626}Wouldn't this be best handled|by the police?
{35629}{35708}We are letting the police handle it,|my dear!
{35711}{35784}But we need to know|the facts quickly
{35787}{35861}before anything|gets into the newspapers.
{35864}{35970}Don't forget, l have a responsibility|to the stockholders.
{35973}{36057}Well...if you put it that way...
{36060}{36153}- Yes, l'll do my best.|- That's better.
{36227}{36296}l'm sure you will.
{36423}{36526}lt was about 4pm|when l returned to Police Squad.
{36529}{36639}l wanted to see what the lab had|come up with on Nordberg's jacket,
{36642}{36700}the one they'd found on the docks.
{36703}{36791}You can tell a lot from fibre|samples if they aren't too wet.
{36794}{36855}l was hoping we wouldn't|come up dry.
{36858}{36896}Hey, look out!
{36951}{36992}Police! Halt!
{37207}{37275}Anybody catch the licence plate?
{37286}{37359}Anybody get a look at the driver?
{37442}{37520}Take the names of everybody here|for questioning.
{37523}{37613}l've got to get...inside.
{37776}{37856}Hi, Ed, Ted. You got|those fibre samples yet?
{37859}{37908}- We got some action here.|- What?
{37911}{37969}We're testing our anti-graffiti wall.
{37972}{38016}We've got customers.
{38019}{38107}lt reacts when|the spray hits the sensors.
{38186}{38239}You've done it again - mazel tov!
{38242}{38308}Good work.|What will you think of next?
{38311}{38359}Now that you mention it,
{38362}{38430}here's something|we developed only yesterday.
{38433}{38500}To the casual observer -|an ordinary shoe.
{38503}{38596}But in actuality...|it makes a handy weapon.
{38599}{38676}And everything a cop would need.
{38679}{38728}We call it the Swiss Army Shoe.
{38731}{38840}- Great. And the fibre samples?|- Just one more thing.
{38843}{38897}See these cufflinks l'm wearing?
{38900}{39011}They're not just cufflinks. Each one|fires a single pin-sized dart,
{39014}{39087}that knocks out your victim|for a few minutes.
{39090}{39143}Let me demonstrate on Ed.
{39191}{39255}Ted! Why?
{39302}{39375}Don't worry.|He'll be up and around in no time.
{39378}{39476}- Why don't you take a pair?|- Actually, l could use another pair.
{39479}{39523}l think you'll like them.
{39526}{39591}- Want this, chief?|- Thank you, Al.
{39594}{39667}There's something|on the side of your mouth, Al.
{39670}{39730}No, no. The other side.
{39733}{39845}As you requested, we took some|fibre samples from Nordberg's jacket.
{39848}{39905}l'm afraid it doesn't look good.
{39908}{39991}- What do you mean?|- Take a look for yourself.
{40054}{40147}- l can't see anything.|- Use your open eye, Frank.
{40165}{40213}Yeah, l can see it now.
{40216}{40301}At first, it appears|to be the normal cotton fibres.
{40304}{40368}But we discovered|a fine white powder.
{40405}{40460}Pure heroin.
{40463}{40536}How well do you know Nordberg?
{40539}{40624}We were partners for nine years|and he's my best friend.
{40627}{40708}We can't allow personal feelings|to get in the way.
{40711}{40824}- Are you saying that Nordberg...?|- The Queen arrives in two days.
{40827}{40887}lf the press should pick this up,
{40890}{40963}it could be embarrassing|for the police and the city.
{40966}{41067}l'm sorry, Frank. l'm giving you|24 hours to clear Nordberg.
{41320}{41368}- Mr Ludwig?|- Yes?
{41371}{41481}- A Mr Pahpshmir is here.|- Show him in.
{41655}{41728}ls there something wrong, Mr Ludwig?
{41731}{41772}No, it's nothing.
{41775}{41876}- Then may we get down to business?|- Certainly. Have a seat.
{41879}{41953}l can carry out your request.
{41956}{42057}- My price is $20 million.|- Your price is not a problem.
{42098}{42187}But there is concern|on the part of those l represent,
{42190}{42328}that you would be able to...|complete so difficult a task.
{42331}{42387}Tell me, Mr Pahpshmir,
{42390}{42523}in all the world,|who is the most effective assassin?
{42526}{42657}l would think anyone who manages to|conceal his identity as an assassin.
{42660}{42778}Yes, but there is|even a more ideal assassin.
{42829}{42930}One who doesn't know|he is an assassin.
{42933}{42997}- Care for some tea?|- Yes, please.
{42999}{43073}Dominique, service for two, please.
{43351}{43415}l must kill Pahpshmir.
{43608}{43697}- Cream and sugar, sir?|- Mr Pahpshmir?
{43787}{43838}Cream only, please.
{43881}{43979}- There's a gun on the floor, sir!|- Just leave it. lt's all right.
{43982}{44059}- The tea, please.|- Of course, sir.
{44107}{44215}Mr Pahpshmir, have you ever seen|sensory-induced hypnosis?
{44218}{44266}l think l just have.
{44269}{44334}How will she get near the target?
{44337}{44431}Oh, l doubt whether it will be her.
{44434}{44522}Good secretaries|are so hard to find these days.
{44525}{44587}And it seems to me...
{44618}{44698}anyone...can be an assassin.
{44782}{44893}l had 24 hours to find|something to clear my friend's name.
{44896}{44966}l returned to the hospital|with Ludwig's records
{44969}{45028}to try to jog Nordberg's memory.
{45031}{45119}Doctor, l have the chart,|if you're ready to go over it.
{45122}{45196}l'll be with you|when l've finished with Mr Nordberg.
{45199}{45248}Yes, Doctor.
{45382}{45446}You'll be out of here|in a couple of...
{45591}{45681}- l'd like to see Officer Nordberg.|- Sign in, please.
{45684}{45763}Wait a minute!|Where's the police guard?
{45766}{45860}- Drebin called and sent him home.|- Drebin?
{45863}{45997}l must kill Nordberg.|l must kill Nordberg.
{46000}{46077}Drebin, Police Squad!|Let go of that pillow!
{46784}{46852}Medical emergency!
{47007}{47096}Drebin, Police Squad.|Follow that black car!
{47141}{47192}The car! Follow that car!
{47195}{47281}Stephanie, check your mirror. Signal.
{47284}{47342}Now pull into traffic.
{47419}{47470}Try and ease off on the brake.
{47525}{47621}- Give it a little gas.|- l know a short cut. Turn left here!
{47702}{47758}- There he is!|- Easy!
{48121}{48162}Turn right! Follow him!
{48165}{48258}lt's OK.|Normally, you would not be going 65
{48261}{48334}down the wrong way|of a one-way street.
{48381}{48429}Apply the brakes.
{48453}{48496}Now put it in reverse.
{48677}{48734}- You dumb broad!|- Stephanie...
{48737}{48789}Gently extend your arm.
{48831}{48913}Extend your middle finger.
{48980}{49053}- Very good. Well done.|- There he is!
{49056}{49114}Go for it, Stephanie!
{50198}{50243}Excuse me. Excuse me.
{50246}{50328}All right, move on!|Nothing to see here!
{50331}{50389}Please disperse!
{50392}{50452}Nothing to see here. Please!
{50510}{50618}The attempt on Nordberg's|life left me shaken and disturbed.
{50621}{50689}The questions kept coming up|again and again,
{50692}{50741}like bubbles in a case of soda.
{50767}{50823}Who was this character|in the hospital?
{50826}{50917}Why was he trying to kill|Nordberg...and for whom?
{50920}{51013}Did Ludwig lie to me?|l didn't have any proof,
{51016}{51077}but somehow,|l didn't entirely trust him.
{51080}{51170}Why was the ''l Luv You''|not listed in Ludwig's records?
{51173}{51238}lf it was, did he know about it?
{51241}{51294}lf he didn't, who did?
{51297}{51349}And where the hell was l?
{51421}{51483}lt was almost midnight|when l got home.
{51486}{51551}l just wanted|to slip under my blankets,
{51554}{51635}but my night was|just about to begin.
{52566}{52624}You're late.
{52653}{52717}That depends on what l'm late for.
{52719}{52792}You said we should|have dinner some time.
{52795}{52863}Tonight became ''some time''.
{52899}{52950}l'm boiling a roast.
{53005}{53064}How hot and wet do you like it?
{53067}{53192}Very hot and awfully wet.
{53195}{53284}You seem to know your way|around a kitchen.
{53287}{53369}l'm just as handy|in other rooms of the house.
{53372}{53427}That shirt looks familiar.
{53430}{53531}lt's yours. l didn't want|to get stained or wrinkled.
{53534}{53605}At least...not yet.
{53684}{53780}Do you mind if l slip|into something more comfortable?
{53933}{53992}There. That's better.
{54045}{54117}l hope you've brought your appetite.
{54120}{54164}l've brought everything.
{54167}{54229}Well, then, dig in.
{54345}{54453}lnteresting. Almost as interesting|as the photographs l saw today.
{54456}{54512}l was young. l needed the work.
{54515}{54589}No, they were taken|at Ludwig's docks.
{54592}{54693}A ship came in, a Panamanian ship.|lt wasn't on Ludwig's records.
{54696}{54750}Probably an oversight.
{54753}{54832}How is your...meat?
{54906}{54955}You be the judge of that.
{55044}{55077}Mmm...
{55145}{55203}l've got nine more.
{55322}{55386}- Have you seen that ship?|- l don't know.
{55388}{55479}lt doesn't look like ours,|but we deal with so many ships.
{55482}{55551}Has Officer Nordberg|told you anything?
{55554}{55650}No, there's been another attempt|on his life. He's in a coma.
{55653}{55755}That's terrible!|This world is such a violent place.
{55758}{55822}lf it wasn't, l'd be out of a job,
{55825}{55937}but l'd give it up tomorrow|to live in a world without crime.
{55967}{56015}That's beautiful.
{56093}{56160}This is all happening too fast.
{56227}{56314}- l've been hurt before.|- l'm sorry.
{56375}{56423}l'd known her for years.
{56426}{56506}We used to go to|all the police functions together.
{56509}{56585}How l loved her,|but she had her music.
{56588}{56654}l think she had her music.
{56657}{56747}She'd hang out with the|Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony.
{56750}{56846}l don't recall her playing|an instrument or being able to sing.
{56849}{56919}Yet she was on the road|300 days of the year.
{56922}{57043}l bought her a harp for Christmas.|She asked me what it was.
{57102}{57160}lt's the same old story.|Boy finds girl.
{57163}{57227}Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy.
{57229}{57302}Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl.
{57305}{57358}Girl dies in a blimp accident
{57361}{57429}over the Orange Bowl|on New Year's Day.
{57432}{57505}- Goodyear?|- No, the worst.
{57508}{57549}Poor dear!
{57631}{57712}Now, now. l don't want to upset you.
{57715}{57786}Frank, it's not that.
{57789}{57846}Why did you have to be so wonderful?
{57884}{57998}- There's something l must tell you.|- No! No need to tell me anything.
{58001}{58070}What's in the past|doesn't matter anyway.
{58073}{58106}Maybe...
{58109}{58227}Maybe we're just two lonely souls|who have found each other.
{58321}{58378}Funny-face!
{58805}{58892}l want you to know...|l practise safe sex.
{58895}{58936}So do l.
{61187}{61295}l had a wonderful day, Frank. l can't|believe we just met yesterday.
{61317}{61390}You really mean that?|You're not just saying it,
{61393}{61451}because we exchanged bodily fluids?
{61454}{61534}No, l really mean it.|You're very special.
{61537}{61640}- Can l interest you in a nightcap?|- No, thanks, l don't wear them.
{61643}{61698}Actually, l'm on stake-out tonight.
{61701}{61794}l'll be thinking about you.|l'll call you tomorrow.
{61825}{61861}OK.
{62018}{62066}Good night!
{62315}{62388}The answer's up there|in Ludwig's office.
{62391}{62461}Call it what you will -|a hunch, women's intuition.
{62464}{62516}Ludwig knows more than he's saying.
{62519}{62614}A hunch won't stand up in court.|Where are your hard facts?
{62617}{62709}He's the only one except us|who knew Nordberg was still alive.
{62712}{62818}Next thing we know,|some thug tries to knock him off.
{62821}{62939}Maybe. But breaking into Ludwig's|office is taking a big chance.
{62942}{63024}l know. You take a chance|getting up in the morning,
{63027}{63101}crossing the street|or sticking your face in a fan.
{63104}{63152}There he is!
{63243}{63319}Just trust me on this, Ed.|l know l'm right.
{63322}{63368}OK, but be careful.
{63371}{63444}Get some sleep.|l'll see you in the morning.
{64685}{64733}Bingo!
{65853}{65926}''20,000,000 deposited,|Omani Bank, Zurich,
{65929}{65981}''upon proof of Queen's death.''
{69397}{69450}Destroying property, arson...
{69453}{69527}sexual assault|with a concrete dildo?!
{69530}{69597}What the hell were you doing there?
{69600}{69649}l'm sorry about that, Your Honour,
{69652}{69753}but we believe Ludwig is involved|in a plot to assassinate the Queen.
{69756}{69846}That's ridiculous!|Where is this ''evidence''?
{69849}{69943}Well...it...burned in the f-fire.
{69946}{69985}Gentlemen,
{69988}{70092}Vincent Ludwig is one of the most|respected members of this community.
{70095}{70208}lf we're very nice to him,|he will agree not to press charges.
{70211}{70275}- Your Honour!|- Did l make myself clear?
{70277}{70339}Yes, Your Honour. Good day.
{70395}{70443}Drebin!
{70446}{70596}l don't want any more trouble like|you had last year. That's my policy.
{70599}{70724}When l see five weirdos dressed|in togas stabbing a guy in a park,
{70727}{70800}l shoot the bastards.|That's my policy.
{70803}{70966}That was a Shakespeare in the Park|production of ''Julius Caesar''!
{70969}{71080}- You killed five actors! Good ones.|- Your Honour...
{71083}{71186}Your presence at the Queen's|reception tonight is not necessary.
{71189}{71235}ls that understood?
{71238}{71311}We understand, Your Honour.|Thank you.
{71863}{71925}The plane has taxied to a stop.
{71928}{71999}Any minute now|we expect the doors to open
{72002}{72063}and we'll get a glimpse|of the Queen,
{72066}{72162}as she begins her first visit|to Los Angeles in five years.
{72165}{72249}lt's a balmy, beautiful evening too.
{72252}{72333}She's going from here|to a formal reception...
{72493}{72536}- Jane!|- Frank!
{72588}{72661}l'm just making some dinner.|Are you hungry?
{72664}{72712}Maybe just a bite.
{72715}{72788}Ludwig wanted me to ask you|to meet him tonight.
{72791}{72900}There is something you should know.|l was in his place last night.
{72903}{73018}How nice! Did he show you his|Ming vases and rare oil paintings?
{73021}{73124}Jane, l think that he's involved|in a number of criminal activities.
{73127}{73175}Frank, stop it!
{73178}{73257}Vincent Ludwig is a well-respected,|generous, kind man.
{73260}{73337}- You don't know him like l do.|- How's that?
{73340}{73470}- What's that supposed to mean?|- l'm sorry. l'm worried about you.
{73473}{73571}l don't trust him and l don't want|you mixed up in anything dangerous.
{73574}{73651}Are Woo back in business?|They closed down three years ago.
{73654}{73774}Gee, has it been that long? l don't|feel like Chinese tonight anyway.
{73817}{73928}lt's sweet of you to be concerned,|but you're wrong about Vincent.
{73931}{74021}He's such a gentleman.|He's so generous.
{74024}{74072}He just wants to talk with you
{74075}{74152}to clear up any doubts|you might have.
{74155}{74204}- When?|- Tonight.
{74207}{74275}Meet him at the 7th Street|stockyards.
{74278}{74346}All right,|but promise you'll be careful.
{74349}{74435}Of course l will,|funny-face, for you.
{74466}{74532}l've got to go. See you tomorrow.
{74535}{74626}Are you sure you won't have|something to eat?
{75230}{75283}Ludwig?
{75286}{75359}- Drebin?|- Yeah, l'm Drebin.
{75362}{75451}l have a message for you|from Vincent Ludwig.
{75522}{75570}l'm sorry, l can't hear you!
{75573}{75644}Don't fire the gun|while you're talking.
{76185}{76300}All right, put your gun down|and your hands up!
{77109}{77174}Matthews, stake out that end,
{77177}{77274}and card-check for|anyone suspicious looking.
{77277}{77326}Frank, what are you doing here?
{77329}{77419}l've been trading shots|with one of Ludwig's goons.
{77422}{77510}They're planning|to do her tonight, here.
{77513}{77631}- We better be on the lookout.|- Excuse me, ma'am, security.
{77676}{77788}- What's the meaning of this?|- Relax! Nothing will happen.
{77791}{77864}- l didn't do anything.|- Yeah? What about this?
{77867}{77970}You think we were born yesterday?|You didn't do anything, huh?
{77973}{78010}l got rights!
{78013}{78090}Ed, he's got a picture of your wife!
{78093}{78141}Ethel!
{78180}{78244}All right,|anyone else here seeing his wife?
{78246}{78326}That's all right, Frank.|Let's get in the hall.
{78586}{78634}Are you enjoying yourself, my dear?
{78637}{78747}l'm so excited to be here.|l appreciate your inviting me.
{78750}{78841}Pleasure's all mine.|Perhaps afterwards we can...
{78895}{78938}- Drebin!|- Frank!
{78941}{79015}You're both right.|Surprised to see me, Mr Ludwig?
{79018}{79087}This is not the time|or place to talk.
{79090}{79151}lt's way past the time we talked.
{79154}{79212}The gloves are off,|l'm playing hardball.
{79215}{79317}lt's fourth and fifteen, and|you're looking at a full court press.
{79320}{79414}Mr Drebin!|lf you have evidence, then use it.
{79417}{79511}lf not, l am warning you -|get off my back!
{79514}{79562}Or it will cost you dearly.
{79629}{79729}- Frank, what's wrong?|- A lot of things, sweetie-pie.
{79732}{79820}A meeting that turned into|a peek-a-boo session with bullets,
{79823}{79900}set up by someone|who's been playing me like a violin.
{79903}{79969}Funny-face,|what are you talking about?
{79972}{80068}My stockyard meeting, butter-wings.|Don't you remember setting that up?
{80071}{80146}Mr Ludwig said you'd called it off!|Believe me!
{80149}{80204}Thumb me another one, shuckie-lumps!
{80207}{80272}Frank, it's the truth!
{80275}{80369}Cops and women don't mix.|Like eating a spoonful of Drano.
{80372}{80463}lt'll clean you out,|but it'll leave you hollow inside.
{80466}{80514}Too bad, sugar-puff.
{80549}{80614}We could have been something.
{80617}{80681}l only did what l was told to do!
{80683}{80738}- Like make love to me?|- Frank!
{80780}{80832}That makes things easier, Princess.
{80835}{80914}To think l trusted you!|l made a big mistake.
{80917}{81002}- You can take this back.|- Whose is that?
{81053}{81153}Doesn't matter.|Take care of yourself, baby.
{81187}{81232}By the way...
{81235}{81281}l faked every orgasm.
{81305}{81353}Funny-face!
{81373}{81433}And to commemorate our friendship,
{81436}{81544}the city of Los Angeles is proud|to present to the Royal Family
{81547}{81693}this Revolutionary War musket,|donated by Mr Vincent Ludwig.
{81726}{81802}Ladies and gentlemen,|Her Royal Highness,
{81805}{81872}Queen Elizabeth ll!
{82715}{82829}lt's disgusting the way they splash|this stuff all over the newspapers!
{82832}{82894}What is journalism coming to?
{82897}{82983}You're laying on top of the Queen|with her legs wrapped around you
{82986}{83023}and they call that news!
{83027}{83110}They can't kick you off the Force,|it's not fair.
{83113}{83181}l know. Life isn't always fair.
{83184}{83313}Just think, the next time l shoot|someone, l could be arrested.
{83316}{83366}Hey, look at that!
{83369}{83491}The missing evidence in the Kilner|case! My God, he WAS innocent!
{83494}{83572}He went to the chair|two years ago, Frank.
{83575}{83655}Well...what's the use?
{83658}{83731}What good are these damn awards|and citations?
{83734}{83772}Frank...
{83775}{83835}Frank, that's not your desk!
{83838}{83917}Frank! l've been|looking all over for you!
{83920}{83993}Running another errand|for your boyfriend?
{83996}{84081}l tried to call last night.|l went by your place. Where were you?
{84084}{84141}l was out walking. All night.
{84144}{84215}Listen to me!|l have important information.
{84218}{84307}There was never anything|between Vincent and me.
{84310}{84390}- He likes East German men.|- What about you?
{84393}{84444}l like cops.
{84447}{84539}- All right! Yeah!|- Settle down. Take it easy.
{84567}{84636}- What've you got?|- l overheard Ludwig.
{84639}{84761}You were right. He is planning to|have someone assassinate the Queen!
{84764}{84820}- Where?|- At the baseball game.
{84823}{84904}The Queen will be there|as Ludwig's guest.
{84907}{85005}ls Ludwig going to shoot her|in front of 60,000 fans?
{85008}{85074}No, a player,|during the 7th inning stretch.
{85077}{85144}- lt starts in 20 minutes.|- l'll go.
{85147}{85218}- l'll go with you.|- Stay with Ludwig
{85221}{85298}- to allay suspicion.|- OK, let's go!
{85301}{85343}Wait! Wait!
{85346}{85443}l've gotten you into enough trouble|already. l'll go alone.
{85446}{85563}No! This'll get you back on|the Force. We're right behind you.
{85632}{85733}Frank? l wanted you to know now,
{85736}{85838}l've loved you since the first day|l met you, and l'll never stop.
{85841}{85889}l'm a very lucky woman.
{85904}{85937}So am l.
{86138}{86245}Good afternoon.|We're coming live from the Big A,
{86248}{86323}where the California Angels|meet the Seattle Mariners
{86326}{86429}in their showdown|for the Division League.
{86432}{86521}Hello! l'm Curt Gowdy,|along with Jim Palmer,
{86524}{86597}Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Mel Allen,
{86600}{86676}Dick Enberg and Dr Joyce Brothers.
{86679}{86744}Join us for this|all-important ball game.
{86747}{86788}And a special game it is.
{86791}{86882}As we know, it is being attended|by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth.
{86885}{86949}l'm sure she'll enjoy this game, Jim.
{86975}{87024}We've got all the exits covered.
{87027}{87076}l ought to arrest Ludwig right now.
{87079}{87171}No, we've got to let him|make the first move.
{87174}{87262}The Mayor would have you arrested.|You've got to stay out of sight.
{87265}{87329}l've got to get that assassin.
{87331}{87382}lt could be any of those players.
{87385}{87469}l've got to get down on that field|and search those players.
{87472}{87556}Ladies and gentlemen,|please rise and welcome
{87559}{87620}Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth ll!
{87830}{87878}One moment.
{87928}{87998}Over there - these seats are taken.
{88372}{88456}My dear, is something bothering you?
{88459}{88499}No, why do you ask?
{88502}{88602}You haven't said a word.|You seem...nervous.
{88605}{88716}Well, you know how important|this game is for the Angels.
{88719}{88804}Why he not here now?|l do not like to wait for him.
{88807}{88945}Mr Pallazzo, our head usher will|be here in two minutes. Please wait.
{88948}{89052}- He should be here now!|- l'll send him right over.
{89055}{89128}l do not wait for him!|He waits for me!
{89241}{89299}- Yes?|- Mr Pallazzo?
{89302}{89390}l am the head usher.|l am here to... Excuse me.
{89527}{89609}- Mr Pallazzo?|- Yes?
{89612}{89707}- l am the head usher.|- One second.
{89710}{89745}Ladies and gentlemen,
{89748}{89851}on behalf of the California Angels|and the City of Los Angeles,
{89854}{89911}on the occasion of the royal visit,
{89914}{89997}please welcome|internationally-renowned opera star,
{90000}{90057}Enrico Pallazzo!
{90128}{90211}Ladies and gentlemen,|let us honour America,
{90214}{90356}as Mr Pallazzo will now sing|our national anthem.
{92314}{92411}And now we'll wait|for the exchange of line-ups
{92414}{92468}and the start of today's ball game.
{92672}{92785}Excuse me, could you tell me,|is this an official bat?
{92865}{92950}The Queen's visit|has brought a sell-out crowd!
{92953}{93055}And the fans are being entertained|by the stadium's Angel Vision,
{93058}{93150}showing some unusual moments|in baseball over the years!
{93637}{93685}Sorry, fellas!
{94354}{94408}How about that?
{94451}{94493}Ladies and gentlemen,
{94496}{94604}now taking the field -|your California Angels!
{94769}{94842}For everybody's safety,
{94845}{94946}we ask that you do not throw|any objects on the field.
{94949}{95008}We thank you for your co-operation.
{95073}{95181}As the Angels take the field, we're|ready for the first pitch ceremony
{95184}{95279}with the Queen of England|ready to toss out the first ball.
{95362}{95459}How about that?|Let's have a round of applause!
{95462}{95519}We're ready for the start,
{95522}{95592}as these lovely ladies would agree.
{95595}{95679}Those are the players' wives,|here to enjoy the game.
{95871}{95946}What d'you say, Cummings?|Are we gonna do this today?
{95949}{95987}Do what?
{95990}{96032}Play ball!
{96108}{96178}Frank! Al, it's Frank!
{96298}{96404}The game's under way. Dave Spiwack|ready to face Jay Johnstone!
{96870}{96945}- Nothing to report.|- Don't worry, Al.
{96948}{97030}lf one of the players is the killer,|Frank'll find him,
{97033}{97110}even if he has to search|every one of them.
{97113}{97193}..lead-off hitter Jay Johnstone.
{97196}{97291}Hello, pal. Let's see|if that uniform's on straight.
{97294}{97410}Good here. Now let's see the shirt.|You should take a large.
{97413}{97487}lt's a little tight in the crotch.
{97490}{97547}All right? All set?
{97602}{97663}OK, play ball!
{98348}{98394}Strike?
{98475}{98529}Yeah, strike!
{98840}{98939}Stee-rike two!
{99302}{99430}Stee-rike three!
{100623}{100666}You're clean!
{103322}{103359}Have you found him yet?
{103362}{103423}No, and l've searched|almost everybody.
{103426}{103525}Yeah. There's only one more out|before the seventh inning stretch.
{103528}{103635}You're going to have to stall them.|Don't let 'em get that third out.
{103638}{103677}Right.
{103716}{103857}The Mariners' number four -|Armando Criscione! Criscione!
{104031}{104101}- Ball!|- Ball?
{104352}{104390}Ball!
{104661}{104725}Get...get...what the...? Get off!
{104751}{104799}Catch it! Catch it!
{104907}{104956}- Get 'em off!|- Go, go, go!
{105059}{105121}- Safe!|- What do you mean, safe?
{105124}{105174}l don't believe it!
{105225}{105268}Second base! On two!
{105297}{105346}There's a throw by the catcher
{105349}{105430}and now they've got Criscione|hung up between 1st and 2nd!
{105433}{105483}What the hell are you doing?
{105486}{105513}What?
{105516}{105630}- You're not supposed to do that!|- Wait a minute! Stop that!
{105633}{105697}Put that back down! Give me the ball!
{105761}{105799}l'll get you!
{105802}{105856}lt's hard to believe,
{105859}{105947}but apparently the umpires|have got Criscione in a run-down!
{106013}{106054}- Safe!|- Safe?
{106057}{106090}How about that?
{106093}{106136}- Out!|- Safe!
{106139}{106186}- Out!|- He was safe!
{106189}{106217}- Out!|- Safe!
{106220}{106279}There's a sight l've never seen!
{106322}{106368}- Safe!|- What are you doing?
{106371}{106407}Safe! Safe! Safe!
{106410}{106476}- He was out!|- He was safe!
{106479}{106545}You idiot! He was out!
{106548}{106604}All right, you're out of here!
{106607}{106680}- What?|- You can't throw an umpire out!
{106683}{106743}All right, YOU'RE out!
{106770}{106869}Hold on! Even the guy running|the scoreboard says he was out!
{106872}{106951}And he's up in the mezzanine!
{106954}{106987}lt's the third out!
{107404}{107478}l must kill...the Queen.
{107591}{107652}l must kill...the Queen.
{107718}{107766}Frank, it's the right-fielder!
{107918}{108007}- You're the boss!|- lt was safe.
{108010}{108071}Now, we're going to take a walk.
{108081}{108149}How could you|do something so vicious?
{108152}{108268}lt was easy. Don't forget l spent|two years as a building contractor.
{108271}{108324}Now, let's go quietly.
{108433}{108482}Hey, look at that! Let's get him!
{108753}{108805}Kick him in the balls!
{109597}{109668}l must kill...the Queen.
{109935}{109978}Look out!
{110099}{110202}The umpire...|He saved the Queen's life!
{110205}{110253}That's not the umpire, Your Honour.
{110354}{110402}Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!
{110666}{110739}Frank! Frank, help!
{110742}{110813}Frank! Frank, help! Frank!
{111168}{111213}Hold it, Ludwig!
{111216}{111272}Stay where you are!
{111275}{111333}- He's got a gun!|- l know.
{111336}{111424}You ruined my life.|Now l'm going to ruin yours.
{111427}{111498}- Leave the girl alone!|- l am. l'm going to kill you.
{111501}{111549}l see.
{111632}{111684}Two can play at that game!
{111842}{111910}- You killed him!|- No, just stunned.
{111913}{111959}He'll be all right.
{112113}{112156}Well...
{112767}{112840}Frank...it's horrible!
{112870}{112968}- lt's so horrible!|- l know, Ed.
{112984}{113032}My father went the same way.
{113409}{113509}l must kill...Frank Drebin.
{113512}{113585}l must kill...Frank Drebin.
{113612}{113665}No, no, don't shoot!
{113674}{113766}Jane...it's me...
{113823}{113856}Funny-face.
{113859}{113950}l must kill Frank Drebin.
{113953}{114019}You love Frank Drebin.
{114022}{114093}And Frank Drebin loves you.
{114096}{114189}Jane, if you don't love me,|you might as well pull that trigger,
{114192}{114330}because without you,|l wouldn't want to live anyway.
{114333}{114415}l've finally found|someone l can love -
{114418}{114517}a good, clean love...|without utensils.
{114520}{114587}l must kill Frank Drebin.
{114616}{114672}lt's a topsy-turvy world, Jane,
{114675}{114785}and maybe the problems of two people|don't amount to a hill of beans,
{114788}{114872}but this is our hill|and these are our beans.
{114909}{115017}Since l met you, l've noticed|things l never knew where there -
{115020}{115109}birds singing, dew glistening|on a newly-formed leaf,
{115112}{115168}stop lights...
{115171}{115210}l must kill...
{115213}{115293}Jane, this morning...
{115296}{115396}l bought something for you.|lt's not very much,
{115399}{115521}but pretty good|for an honest policeman's salary.
{115524}{115570}lt's an engagement ring.
{115573}{115621}l'd have given it to you earlier,
{115624}{115701}but l wanted to wait|until we were alone.
{115802}{115873}- l...|- l love you, Jane.
{116004}{116047}Oh, Frank!
{116346}{116399}l'm sorry!
{116654}{116761}l'm sorry that l yelled at you|yesterday, l really am.
{116809}{116841}Drebin!
{116844}{116908}l was wrong about you.
{116910}{117008}This city and the whole world|owes you a debt of gratitude.
{117011}{117039}Thank you.
{117042}{117121}And Monday morning|we want you back at Police Squad...
{117124}{117219}- with a promotion to captain.|- Mayor...
{117222}{117334}Don't thank me. There's someone else|here who wants to thank you.
{117337}{117393}- Nordberg!|- Hiya, buddy!
{117396}{117464}The doc says|l should be on my feet in a week!
{117467}{117560}- And back on the Force!|- Nordberg, that's wonderful!
{117593}{117671}Frank! Everyone should have|a friend like you!