1 00:00:01,407 --> 00:00:40,408 RIP BY PSER MALDONADO URUGUAY 2 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,407 Where's Manny? 3 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:28,815 Tell him the ice cream man is here. 4 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,501 Freeze. Hammer time. 5 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,372 Can we get down to business? 6 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,314 You got the money? 7 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,054 Tell him. 8 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,567 He said that he's not gonna give you one red cent... 9 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,103 until you tell him what flavor the ice cream is. 10 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,571 Vanilla. That's what you ordered. 11 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,002 -Tell him. -Okay. 12 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,376 lt's all about the Benjamins, baby! 13 00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,046 Bring in the stuff. 14 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:43,053 -Arnold Schwarzenegger, funny man! -He's funny like that! 15 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,698 There is your ice cream. 16 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:53,097 Tell him. l see coming. He say.... 17 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,871 l tell him, l say Jesús. 18 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,354 He coming, and he say.... 19 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,960 -Tell him. -He say... 20 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,700 FBl. You're under arrest. 21 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,565 -He's going to run. -No, he ain't. 22 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,126 You owe me $1 . 23 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,940 Where are you going, big boy? 24 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:44,348 Goddamn. Now l'm going to bust your ass. 25 00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,761 ls that all your big ass got? 26 00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,936 -Enough. -Kevin. 27 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,641 All right, you two over here. Right now. 28 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,837 l swear l'll shoot both of you. 29 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,985 Damn, Marcus, why you always got to pick the biggest dude? 30 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,688 l don't know. l like a challenge. 31 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,331 See, what did l tell you? 32 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:31,330 We did it, right? Didn't l tell you? 33 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,202 -No help. No backup. -You the man. 34 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,402 We'll get all the credit. The biggest bust of our career. 35 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,272 400 keys of pure.... 36 00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,182 -Vanilla ice cream? -What? 37 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,645 My man! Where's the drugs? 38 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,255 l know nothing about drugs. 39 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:56,455 l sell ice cream. Strawberry. Vanilla. 40 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:59,130 Neapolitan, for example. 41 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:06,065 Tell Manny his ice cream delivery is here. 42 00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,672 Never mind. Wrong store. 43 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,807 FBl. Freeze! 44 00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,787 -Marcus? -l'm good. 45 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,365 -They're moving. -Let's go. 46 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,467 -Which one? -l don't know. 47 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,248 -God. -Damn. 48 00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:54,475 l told you we should've called for backup. 49 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,723 You know the Chief's gonna kill us, right? 50 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,655 You know the Chief's gonna kill us, right? 51 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,425 Let me give you guys a little tip. 52 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:05,497 lf you're going to operate outside the channels... 53 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:08,466 do the whole renegade cop thing... 54 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:13,032 you might want to make sure that you get the right guy. 55 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:17,866 Chief, we almost had the guy. 56 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,203 Our intelligence was just a little off. 57 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,406 Wait a minute. lntelligence? 58 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:26,251 Look around you, Copeland. There's nothing intelligent about this. 59 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,719 Now l'm tired of your escapades. l want them to stop. 60 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:31,723 The last thing l need is to be the laughingstock of the Bureau. 61 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,383 And furthermore, the-- 62 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,725 Hold on. Hello? Baby, l can't talk. 63 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:40,129 The Chief is chewing my ass right now. l got to call you back. Bye. 64 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:43,259 -Sorry, Chief. -As l was saying-- 65 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:50,874 Gordon here. 66 00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,843 Yes, he is. 67 00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,947 -lt's for you. -Thank you. 68 00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:03,011 -Baby, l'm still with the Chief. -No respect. 69 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,114 No, he's really not happy now. 70 00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:09,025 Okay, l got to go. Bye. Thanks, Chief. 71 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,597 You guys are.... Get this place cleaned up. 72 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:19,062 l expect to have a full report on my desk tomorrow. 73 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,106 -Yes, sir. -And in the meantime... 74 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:24,337 l'm checking with the Bureau to see if they got any openings... 75 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,401 in lraq. 76 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:34,516 The Dynamic Duo strikes again. Way to go, Baskin and Robbin. 77 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,353 Or is it Häag and Dazs? 78 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,794 Häag and Dazs. You wrote that? 79 00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,797 That's good, l like that. 80 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:49,733 -Later, Häag. -Adiós, Dazs. 81 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,401 -l hate those guys, dude. -Oh, God. 82 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:58,106 All right. Well, let's get this place cleaned up. 83 00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,645 -All right. -Okay, so, you do the floor. 84 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:03,739 Clean all the ice cream up and l'll go warm the car up. 85 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,154 Okay. So much for a hot meal. 86 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,333 -Hey, baby. -Don't ''hey, baby'' me. 87 00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:27,839 l can't believe you have me sitting here all night worried about you. 88 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,534 All night? Baby... 89 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,572 it's only 8:00. 90 00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:36,612 Look, after work, me and Kevin went down to the bar and had a couple of drinks. 91 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:40,379 l know. l called the bar. They said you left at 7:45. 92 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:43,889 l checked MapQuest. lt only takes six minutes to get there from here. 93 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:46,618 So, if you got somebody on the side, you need to tell me. 94 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,092 Baby, listen to what you just say. 95 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:53,393 MapQuest said it takes six minutes to get here. l got here in eight. 96 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,729 Which means there's two minutes unaccounted for. 97 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:59,760 lf l was cheating on you, don't you think l'd need more than two minutes? 98 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,539 You know what? l ain't going to deal with this. 99 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:07,136 l'm tired, okay? l had a long day at work. l got shot at. 100 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,046 See, that is exactly what l'm talking about. 101 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,777 We don't communicate. 102 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:15,651 -Okay, fine. You want to communicate? -Yes. 103 00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:19,614 Come on. Let's communicate. Okay? 104 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,686 Okay. Let's start with last week. 105 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:23,819 Last week. 106 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,388 You and l were supposed to go shopping together. We get to the mall. 107 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:30,526 l buy this beautiful dress, l get my hair done. 108 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:35,270 You don't say anything. l don't know, maybe you just don't want to.... 109 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,774 Did you hear me just now? 110 00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:42,407 Tell me what l said. 111 00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,346 l heard everything. You was communicating. 112 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,284 Don't play with me right now. l am not in the mood. 113 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:50,083 l cannot believe you came home late and then you start.... 114 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:54,490 Marcus! You are falling asleep again. l am talking to you. 115 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,654 l wasn't asleep, l was closing my eyes and visualizing your words. 116 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,630 Oh, really? Visualizing? 117 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:02,826 Why don't you paint me a picture of what l just said? 118 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,029 -Hold on. -You know why? 119 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,540 Because you are falling asleep again. Marcus! 120 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:17,114 We received this from Mr. Andrew Wilson, CEO of Wilson Cruise Lines. 121 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:22,087 It was delivered to his home. The girls in the photo are his daughters... 122 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,222 and heiresses to the Wilson fortune. 123 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,919 We believe they are the kidnapper's next victims. 124 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:33,296 Mr. Wilson has given us permission to shadow his daughters. 125 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,596 We're going to set up surveillance... 126 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,226 and if the kidnapper strikes... 127 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,568 this time we will be ready. 128 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:45,474 Now, the Wilson sisters will be flying into JFK this morning. 129 00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:48,543 So who's going to pick them up? 130 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,578 Obviously, everyone has read the profile on the girls. 131 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,722 Still, somebody's got to do it. 132 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,753 l don't think this is a good idea. 133 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:03,818 l don't care. We deserve to be on this case just as much as Gomez and Harper. 134 00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:06,729 l know, but we don't want to interrupt the man in a briefing. 135 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,097 Well, somebody got to stand up to him. 136 00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,170 -Chief. -What? 137 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:15,102 -Marcus has something he want to tell you. -What? 138 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,302 Chief, we just want to know if we could get on the case. 139 00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:19,469 You're on. 140 00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:24,614 The boys over at lntel seem to think that the kidnapper's a guy... 141 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,946 named Ted Burton. 142 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,111 lt says Burton was a partner of Wilson's... 143 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,213 and some other associates in some business venture that failed. 144 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:34,885 Says he spent time in the Federal pen and lost his fortune. 145 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,987 Guy's been MlA since his release and those dates coincide with the first kidnappings. 146 00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:42,057 -What do you think? -l think this babysitting gig sucks. 147 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,465 Dude, relax. 148 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,027 Look, man. All we got to do is pick these chicks up... 149 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:49,700 drop their ass off in the Hamptons, then we back in the Chief's good graces. 150 00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:51,743 l didn't join the FBl to become a nanny. 151 00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:53,938 l want to be on the street where the action is. 152 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,779 Okay, Blackie Chan, and you'll get there. Can we just do this first, please? 153 00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:01,115 -All right. -You didn't put dairy in this, did you? 154 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,014 -No. -Because you know l'm lactose intolerant. 155 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,058 Last time, l barely made it to the bathroom. 156 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,593 Why would l want to disturb your stomach? 157 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,728 There goes your girls. 158 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,063 Come on, man. Let's do this. 159 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:26,171 -Hi, l'm Kevin Copeland. This is-- -We already gave to the United Negro Fund. 160 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,272 -Wait. Hold on. -Excuse us. 161 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,878 We're actually here to escort you ladies to the Hamptons. 162 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,421 The bags are on the plane. Take Baby and clean out his bag. 163 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,653 He didn't have his colonic and he like pooped everywhere. 164 00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:52,829 -What's this? -Baby got to ride in the car seat. 165 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,269 Where the hell am l supposed to sit? 166 00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,706 This ain't right. 167 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,921 Man, you guys sure got a lot of bags for a weekend. 168 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:17,525 -This isn't a weekend. -lt's the weekend. 169 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,225 Labor Day in the Hamptons. The last weekend of the social season. 170 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,358 Only the hottest people are going to be there. 171 00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:27,371 And only the hottest of the hottest are going to make it onto the cover... 172 00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:30,408 of Hamptons Magazine. And this is our year. 173 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:35,046 Open the window. Baby likes a little fresh breeze. 174 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:38,606 l just hope the Vandergeld sisters' private jet crashes on the way there. 175 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,619 -Oh, my God, Brittany! -You were thinking it! 176 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:43,985 -l know, but you said it. -l know. 177 00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:47,492 You know Heather totally hates you because you slept with her boyfriend. 178 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,825 My God. So what? l sleep with everyone's boyfriend. 179 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,762 ls everybody all right? 180 00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:34,429 My God! Your lip. 181 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,337 My God! Your nose. 182 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,012 Marcus, are you okay? 183 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,676 -l'm cool. -Baby's in a wreck! 184 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:48,410 l can't believe... 185 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:53,186 you think we're going to go to the Hamptons with my face looking like that. 186 00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:56,823 lt's really not that bad. Just get some makeup and cover it up. 187 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,160 Put makeup on this? 188 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,024 l am so fricking pissed. 189 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,033 My God, this is like the worst day of my life. 190 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,039 l went to go get my brows done... 191 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,234 and l told her to make me look like J-Lo. 192 00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,937 And then that fricking Russian toad made me look... 193 00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:15,242 like Liza Minnelli or something. 194 00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:19,006 Oh, my God! l'm going to have a B.F. 195 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:20,818 Wait. What's a B.F.? 196 00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:22,911 She's going to have a bitch fit! 197 00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:25,684 -You better get out of here. -l am going to call your boss. 198 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,023 -You don't have to do that. -No, l'll call the owner of the company. 199 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:32,154 Come on, just take it easy. Look, we can work this out. 200 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,128 -l'm going to write a letter. -No. 201 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,794 Please don't write a letter. Look, just calm down. 202 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,395 You guys just stay here. Stay here the whole weekend. 203 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:43,600 Do whatever you want. But whatever you do, do not leave this room. 204 00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:47,703 Don't leave this room, because if you do, everyone's gonna see those hideous scars. 205 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,179 Scar? 206 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:53,878 -My God! Permanent damage. -My life is over. 207 00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:58,121 lf l lose this job with these good benefits, Gina's gonna kill me. 208 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,454 -Well? -They won't go. 209 00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:06,930 -What do you mean, they won't go? -They won't go. 210 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:10,298 Marcus, this weekend in the Hamptons means everything for these girls. 211 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:14,772 They won't show up with a scratched-up nose and a busted lip for nobody. 212 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,144 That's cool. 213 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:24,272 What are you doing? 214 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,784 l'm just going to kill myself before the Chief does. 215 00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:28,410 -Bye-bye, Kevin. -Come on. 216 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,148 Don't do that. Stop being ridiculous. 217 00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:32,349 l'm not being ridiculous. You heard the man. 218 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:34,119 One more screw-up, and we're through. 219 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,219 -l know, man. -See? That's probably him right now. 220 00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:39,989 Hey, what's up, Chief? 221 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,329 There's something me and Kevin want to tell you. 222 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,631 Yeah, Chief? Hey. 223 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:48,171 Me and Marcus just wanted to thank you for the opportunity, man. 224 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,707 No, we didn't. 225 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,606 Yeah, we really appreciate it. 226 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,975 They wanted to stop off and get something to eat. 227 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:55,308 He's lying to-- 228 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,315 Two, three hours max. 229 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,278 Trust me. 230 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:06,688 lf l don't have them there in three hours, l'll cut them off and mail them to you myself. 231 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,660 -All right, take care. Bye. -He lied, Chief. 232 00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:14,790 Why did you do that? You know them girls aren't going to be there. 233 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,527 They'll be there. 234 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,260 Hey, Josh. 235 00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:22,970 How'd you like to be part of the team? 236 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,966 Where are the white women at? 237 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,306 Let's do this. 238 00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,459 He's right. Make them bigger. 239 00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:49,895 Chief. They're here. 240 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,090 Chief. They're here. 241 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:55,691 All right, the girls are yours. Stick with them. Don't blow your cover. 242 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:56,756 Yes, sir. 243 00:18:57,069 --> 00:19:00,766 -Are you sure this is going to work? -Just trust me. Follow my lead. 244 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:23,960 What's up, money? You got a problem? What you looking at my ass for? 245 00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:25,894 No, yo, hold my poodle. 246 00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:28,831 What's up? Y'all got a problem? Y'all want some of this? 247 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,699 You want some of this, punk? What, boy? 248 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:34,102 -l'll take the both of you. -Cut it out. 249 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:37,140 -He was looking at my ass like l'm a girl. -You are a girl! 250 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:41,043 And you better start acting like one or you're going to be an unemployed girl. 251 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:44,105 Damn. l'd sure like to cut that cake. 252 00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:45,876 Here, yo, hold this! 253 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,885 Hey, you trying to look at my lumps? 254 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,046 l'll pull off my G-string and handle mine. 255 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,215 -l'll handle mine. -Kevin, it's Gomez. 256 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,789 Welcome to the Royal Hamptons Hotel. 257 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,762 -The bags are in the car, José. -The name is Gomez. 258 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,492 -Whatever. -Yeah, great. Here. Take Baby. 259 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,194 Clean out his bag. Poor thing just pooped everywhere. 260 00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,464 And teach him how to say, ''Quiero Taco Bell.'' 261 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,302 -Thanks a lot, Rico Suave. Grazie. -Thanks, Julio. 262 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:11,035 Right away, ma'am. 263 00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:23,577 Sweetie, you've got to slow up with those Cosmos. 264 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:28,455 Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in. 265 00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:31,020 Sorry. They're new. 266 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:35,163 -Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job. -They feel so real. 267 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:40,695 Hi. Yeah, l just... l need a credit card, please. 268 00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:42,069 And some lD, please. 269 00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:47,777 Credit card? lD? 270 00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:51,948 l'm so fricking pissed. 271 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,417 -Ma'am, l-- -First of all... 272 00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:57,683 l go to Dr. Dorfman. He totally messes up my nose job. 273 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,816 l ask him to make me look like Gwyneth Paltrow. 274 00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:05,222 l get off the surgery table looking like freaking Shrek. 275 00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:09,927 Then l get here, and Mr. Harper... 276 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:14,029 makes me feel like l'm some dumb blonde with fake boobs... 277 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,241 going to a Hugh Hefner party. 278 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,242 No. l didn't mean to offend you. 279 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,574 -lt's just protocol. -l'm going to have a B.F. 280 00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:22,944 My God. She's going to have a bitch fit. 281 00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:26,849 No. Don't have a B.F. now-- 282 00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:30,615 l want to speak to your supervisor. Better yet, l'm going to write a letter. 283 00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:33,453 -Miss, there's no reason to-- -You are in big trouble. 284 00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:36,426 ''Dear Mr... 285 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,023 ''Royal Hampton. 286 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:44,234 ''l am a white woman... 287 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,864 -''in America.'' -Ladies, is there a problem here? 288 00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:49,463 -Yes. -No. 289 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,940 There's no problem. 290 00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:54,570 These are two of our VlP guests. 291 00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:57,108 lssue them keys. lmmediately. 292 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,848 VlP. Learn your acronyms. 293 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:05,316 -What a sweetheart. -Here you are. Enjoy your stay. 294 00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:09,554 Has anyone ever told you you look just like Denzel Washington? 295 00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:15,423 Yes, actually l have heard it once or twice. 296 00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:20,735 What a beautiful chocolate man. 297 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,304 Beautiful. God. 298 00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:28,570 -That was close. -Yeah. 299 00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:32,516 -Are they waving at us? -l don't know. 300 00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:35,519 -What are we going to do? -Just act friendly. 301 00:22:38,056 --> 00:22:39,853 My God. 302 00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:46,628 Well, don't act like you don't know us. 303 00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:52,426 Karen, Lisa, Tori. 304 00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:54,696 Oh, my God. 305 00:22:55,674 --> 00:22:58,609 l haven't seen you in forever. 306 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,204 lt's only been a year. 307 00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:03,179 Did you do something different to your hair? 308 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:05,112 -No. -You gain weight? 309 00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:09,879 -No. -l know! You just had a birthday. 310 00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:15,319 -Yeah. -Totally. Total fire sign. l knew it. 311 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,294 -l totally knew it. -Wait a minute. 312 00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:19,887 There is definitely... 313 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:22,700 something different about the two of you. 314 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,502 Collagen. 315 00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:34,710 You little witch. How did you know? 316 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:39,683 Duh, it's totally obvious. Your lips went from Cameron Diaz to Jay-Z. 317 00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:45,451 You got taller, too. 318 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,624 We got our knees done. 319 00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:52,861 You can do that? 320 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,421 -You should do that. -Yes. 321 00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:56,967 Well, it was really good seeing you ladies. Bye. 322 00:23:57,035 --> 00:23:59,503 Excuse me. Where do you think you're going? 323 00:24:00,138 --> 00:24:01,571 To go freshen up. 324 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,371 The Hamptons Magazine reception just started, so let's hit it. 325 00:24:09,714 --> 00:24:11,409 Hey, check it out. 326 00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:14,281 Are those the Wilson sisters? 327 00:24:14,352 --> 00:24:18,789 More like the Wilt Chamberlain sisters. l never noticed how big they are. 328 00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:21,620 But l'd still bone. 329 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:25,360 My God. There's Heath. 330 00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:32,260 Dude, are you hitting Karen Googlestein, the soap heiress, too? 331 00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,134 How do you keep that shit dangling? 332 00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,766 l keep telling her l'm going to break up with my girl. 333 00:24:36,842 --> 00:24:38,742 You better hope Heather doesn't find out. 334 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,141 She won't. 335 00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:43,245 At least until l wrap up this big deal with her father. 336 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,680 Hey, Mr. V. 337 00:24:49,054 --> 00:24:52,114 And look, there they are. The fen-phen twins. 338 00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:54,257 They're hot. 339 00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:56,353 What, are you blind? 340 00:24:56,428 --> 00:24:58,487 That's Heather and Megan Vandergeld. 341 00:24:58,563 --> 00:25:01,623 Your sworn enemies since you were like, l don't know. Eight? 342 00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:04,635 Did l say hot? l meant not. 343 00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,665 -l totally hate them. -Did you guys hear about Megan? 344 00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:11,869 She got stopped by security at Saks trying to pull a Winona. 345 00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:20,342 God. Come on. 346 00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,882 -This is going to be fun. -Move. 347 00:25:29,394 --> 00:25:33,626 Look who just flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills. 348 00:25:33,965 --> 00:25:36,160 lt's The Beverly Ho-billies. 349 00:25:38,803 --> 00:25:42,239 -Squeeze me? -No, you didn't. 350 00:25:42,807 --> 00:25:45,640 l'm sorry, but we just saw your new video. 351 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:48,372 They had a screening over at Saks Fifth Avenue... 352 00:25:48,446 --> 00:25:50,346 in the security office. 353 00:25:51,650 --> 00:25:53,550 A klept-ho-maniac. 354 00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:58,888 Your mother shops at Saks. 355 00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:00,883 What? 356 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:07,521 My God. You want to talk about mothers? 357 00:26:08,633 --> 00:26:12,069 You want to talk about mothers. 358 00:26:12,137 --> 00:26:14,970 lt's mother time. Okay. 359 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,601 Your mother's so dumb she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear. 360 00:26:18,677 --> 00:26:22,374 ''Something's wrong, Dr. Dre. My coochie's doing a beatbox.'' 361 00:26:22,447 --> 00:26:24,677 Yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid... 362 00:26:24,749 --> 00:26:27,149 she exercises when she could just get... 363 00:26:27,218 --> 00:26:29,209 liposuction or something. 364 00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:33,814 Your mother's so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breast-feed like this. 365 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:38,486 Your mother is so, like.... 366 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:40,663 She's so.... 367 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,590 Megan, you go. 368 00:26:44,569 --> 00:26:46,059 Your mother is so stupid... 369 00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:49,038 that she goes to Barneys Rooftop Deck Restaurant for lunch... 370 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:53,134 and orders a niçoise salad and calls it a ''ni-coise'' salad. 371 00:26:53,211 --> 00:26:55,008 ''Ni-coise'' salad, right? 372 00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:57,172 Your mother's ass is so hairy... 373 00:26:57,248 --> 00:27:01,480 it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, ''Only in America!'' 374 00:27:01,987 --> 00:27:03,716 Your mother's so stupid... 375 00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:07,554 that she goes into Gucci and she tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff. 376 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:11,722 Megan, Heather. Come on now, girls. ls this any way to speak to your guests? 377 00:27:12,697 --> 00:27:14,824 Brittany and Tiffany Wilson. 378 00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:18,528 l haven't seen you since you were smaller. 379 00:27:18,937 --> 00:27:21,963 Yeah. Well, we're all grown up now. 380 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,735 Yeah, l can see that. 381 00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:27,005 Ladies, l fully expect to see you later at the White Party. 382 00:27:27,078 --> 00:27:30,707 -l think it's gonna be the best one ever. -We'll be there. 383 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:34,615 -Take care. Bye. Good seeing you again. -Bye, Mr. V. 384 00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:38,151 This isn't over yet. 385 00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:42,556 This is a long weekend. You better watch your back. 386 00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:47,226 -Ladies. -Whatever. 387 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,029 l can't believe you guys just did that to the Vandergelds. 388 00:27:52,103 --> 00:27:55,732 You know, they could take you off the scene just like that. 389 00:27:55,807 --> 00:27:59,903 -Yeah, but it was so cool, you guys. -So cool. 390 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,709 lsn't that Denise Porter from NY1 News? 391 00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:09,184 Yeah, l'm working on getting you an interview with her. 392 00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:10,687 Great for your image. 393 00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:13,849 l think l'll go over there and introduce myself. 394 00:28:14,092 --> 00:28:17,289 -Do you think now's a good time? -Actually, it's a perfect time. 395 00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:20,593 -Wouldn't want to miss a photo op. -Never that. 396 00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:21,927 -See you later. -Have fun. 397 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,400 -What's wrong? Did you just get cramps? -Yeah. 398 00:28:24,469 --> 00:28:27,632 -Do you need a tamp? -Heating pad? 399 00:28:27,772 --> 00:28:31,105 -Hors d'oeuvres? -Thank you, Wolfgang Paco. 400 00:28:32,243 --> 00:28:34,803 Would you give that to Baby? Thank you. 401 00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:37,909 -Bye, Chico. Vamonos. -Bon appétit. 402 00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,040 l'll have one. 403 00:28:41,119 --> 00:28:44,816 -Hi, my name is-- -Brittany Wilson, of course. 404 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,257 Yeah. How'd you know? Brittany Wilson. 405 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,187 Well, it's my job to know. 406 00:28:50,261 --> 00:28:55,062 Your publicist, Tori, has been calling me nonstop about setting up an interview. 407 00:28:55,133 --> 00:29:00,002 lf l would've known you were so beautiful, l probably would've called you myself. 408 00:29:01,106 --> 00:29:05,770 Well, if l wasn't mistaken, l'd think you were flirting with me, Miss Wilson. 409 00:29:07,378 --> 00:29:11,576 Me? Flirting with you? A girl? Never. 410 00:29:13,151 --> 00:29:15,119 Sorry, honey. Only beef. 411 00:29:16,554 --> 00:29:20,718 -Boy, you're really strong, aren't you? -lt's from all that protein. 412 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,961 My God. These are delicious. 413 00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:29,896 You might want to slow down on the cheese. 414 00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:35,202 You mean, there's cheese, as in dairy cheese? 415 00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:38,670 Yeah. Unless you know another way to make quiche. 416 00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:47,483 -Ladies, l think l got to go to the bathroom. -Good. We'll come with. 417 00:29:47,552 --> 00:29:50,419 No, l can handle it myself. Thank you, though. 418 00:29:50,488 --> 00:29:53,082 Like we're going to let you go alone. 419 00:29:54,025 --> 00:29:56,016 Time for touchups anyway. 420 00:29:57,395 --> 00:29:58,794 Move, bitch. 421 00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:18,647 My God, you guys. Heath is here. What should l do? 422 00:30:18,716 --> 00:30:20,707 l don't understand what you see in him. 423 00:30:20,785 --> 00:30:23,515 He's an out-of-work actor living in a share house. 424 00:30:23,588 --> 00:30:25,647 And he drives a 3 Series BMW. 425 00:30:28,993 --> 00:30:32,258 Tori, l really think that you need to cut Heath a little bit of slack. 426 00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:35,390 His aunt died three years ago and he really needs new headshots. 427 00:30:35,466 --> 00:30:38,765 He's just going through a really rough time right now. Okay? 428 00:30:46,277 --> 00:30:47,539 You okay? 429 00:30:50,048 --> 00:30:52,278 Everything all right in there? 430 00:30:53,051 --> 00:30:55,417 lt's fine. Shit. 431 00:30:55,653 --> 00:30:58,816 Tiff, we're just going to meet you outside. Okay? 432 00:31:04,429 --> 00:31:05,760 Love you. 433 00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:11,297 Man, it may be summertime in the Hamptons... 434 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,862 but it is snowing up in here. 435 00:31:16,674 --> 00:31:19,700 Tony, hand me my boots because l'm about to go skiing. 436 00:31:20,778 --> 00:31:24,373 -Great game last night, Latrell. -That's what l do, baby. 437 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,017 Now that's what l'm talking about. 438 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,059 A white girl with a black girl's ass. 439 00:31:40,098 --> 00:31:41,963 l'm taking that home to Mama. 440 00:31:44,302 --> 00:31:45,633 Pardon me. 441 00:31:46,170 --> 00:31:48,604 Santa must've come early this year... 442 00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:51,842 because you were first on my Christmas list. 443 00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:53,873 There it is, right there. 444 00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:58,143 l want to know. Are you naughty or nice? 445 00:31:59,817 --> 00:32:01,842 Sorry, l'm not interested. 446 00:32:03,454 --> 00:32:07,390 -l'll take that as naughty. -Naughty. 447 00:32:07,725 --> 00:32:09,454 You know what they say: 448 00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:12,985 ''Once you go black, you're going to need a wheelchair.'' 449 00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:19,669 -Okay, call me later. -As l was saying.... 450 00:32:19,871 --> 00:32:23,739 Look, King Kong. Why don't you take you and your 1980 pickup lines... 451 00:32:23,808 --> 00:32:27,574 climb the Empire State Building, beat on your big old monkey chest... 452 00:32:27,645 --> 00:32:29,977 and then jump off? Excuse me. 453 00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:32,439 Hold up, hold on now. l'll get the-- 454 00:32:32,517 --> 00:32:35,418 -This is no joke, man. -Get your hands off me, man. 455 00:32:37,488 --> 00:32:41,857 She don't know it yet, but that's wifey right there. 456 00:32:42,193 --> 00:32:44,661 Hello, everybody. For just one second. 457 00:32:44,729 --> 00:32:47,857 I'm Warren Vandergeld. I'm sure most of you know me. 458 00:32:47,932 --> 00:32:50,628 And I just want to remind you that tonight's the night. 459 00:32:50,702 --> 00:32:54,399 The Vandergeld Foundation's annual charity auction. 460 00:32:57,542 --> 00:32:59,305 So bring your checkbook... 461 00:32:59,377 --> 00:33:02,676 dress to impress, and we'll see you there. Have fun. 462 00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:08,141 -So what are you going to wear? -This? 463 00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:14,249 You're so funny. 464 00:33:16,260 --> 00:33:18,160 Ladies, you know what this means. 465 00:33:18,229 --> 00:33:19,719 Shopping! 466 00:33:24,802 --> 00:33:28,704 And now, the Number One most requested song on WQQR.... 467 00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:34,640 -lt's our jam. -This is our jam, ladies. Come on. 468 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:38,244 Ready? Five, six, seven, eight... 469 00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:41,385 Making my way downtown Walking fast 470 00:33:41,452 --> 00:33:44,080 Faces pass And I'm home bound 471 00:33:48,559 --> 00:33:51,528 Staring blankly ahead Just making my way 472 00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:55,498 Making a way Through the crowd 473 00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:58,300 Take it, Tiff and Britt. This is your verse. 474 00:33:58,369 --> 00:34:00,894 Into the sky 475 00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:05,874 Do you think time Would pass me by 476 00:34:05,943 --> 00:34:10,243 'Cause you know I'd walk A thousand miles 477 00:34:10,314 --> 00:34:13,841 If I could Just see you 478 00:34:13,918 --> 00:34:17,547 Tonight 479 00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:19,884 C-minus. 480 00:34:22,927 --> 00:34:25,122 That's hot. Totally hot. 481 00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:26,527 feel a nigga 482 00:34:26,597 --> 00:34:30,465 Guys. l can't believe that you just said that. 483 00:34:30,868 --> 00:34:32,199 Said what? 484 00:34:32,937 --> 00:34:34,404 The ''N'' word. 485 00:34:37,875 --> 00:34:42,175 -So? Nobody's around. -Yeah. 486 00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:49,645 50 Cent and B.I.G. my nigga 487 00:34:49,720 --> 00:34:52,018 Don't try to act like you don't feel a nigga 488 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:55,890 Biggie yo nigga, 50 yo nigga Squeeze the trigga' leave a nigga fo' sho 489 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,723 Ladies, can l help you? 490 00:34:57,795 --> 00:35:00,423 Yes, actually. l need something for my friend. 491 00:35:00,498 --> 00:35:04,298 Something that says, ''l'm not a whore but l'm not a virgin either.'' 492 00:35:04,402 --> 00:35:06,632 l've got just the thing. Come. 493 00:35:08,339 --> 00:35:11,274 -What about you, Brittany? -No, thank you, sweetie. l'm fine. 494 00:35:11,342 --> 00:35:13,105 Good. You can help me. Come on. 495 00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:16,010 -Me? -Yeah, we're girls. That's what we do. 496 00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:17,672 God. 497 00:35:28,659 --> 00:35:29,887 Come on. 498 00:35:35,233 --> 00:35:37,531 -Hello? -Hi, baby. 499 00:35:37,735 --> 00:35:39,134 What's up, baby? 500 00:35:39,203 --> 00:35:43,139 l'm getting my hair done, and l was thinking that we could go to the movies. 501 00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:44,868 How's that sound? 502 00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:47,342 -l'm back. -Who is that? 503 00:35:47,612 --> 00:35:51,446 You're never going to get that big old head in this tiny hole. 504 00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:53,976 -Here, let me help you. -Hold on. 505 00:35:54,051 --> 00:35:57,043 -l'll hold it open while you put it in. -Okay. 506 00:35:57,655 --> 00:36:00,283 -What is she holding? -Push it. 507 00:36:00,358 --> 00:36:03,259 -lt's almost in. -What is almost in? Marcus. 508 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:09,930 Marcus Anthony Copeland ll, you better answer me right now. 509 00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:13,070 -lt's so tight. -Tight? 510 00:36:14,272 --> 00:36:17,503 The only thing's that's going to be tight is my foot down your throat. 511 00:36:17,575 --> 00:36:18,599 You better answer me! 512 00:36:18,676 --> 00:36:20,405 lt's a perfect fit. 513 00:36:24,415 --> 00:36:27,145 -l can't believe what l just heard. -l told you. 514 00:36:28,152 --> 00:36:29,642 l'm exhausted. 515 00:36:30,321 --> 00:36:33,882 Gina. Damn. Hello? Baby? 516 00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:50,638 What do you think? 517 00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:55,304 That looks so sexy. 518 00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:00,141 Are you kidding? 519 00:37:00,785 --> 00:37:05,154 ''Hi, l'm Cellulite Sally. Look at my huge bedonkey.'' 520 00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,783 ''And don't forget about me. l'm Back Fat Betty.'' 521 00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:09,325 Now who could have said that? 522 00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:12,851 Yeah, it's Tina the Talking Tummy. 523 00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:15,898 l can't even wear a short skirt... 524 00:37:15,967 --> 00:37:19,425 and a top without looking like a fat pig. 525 00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:24,207 Calm down. l'll go see if there's something else out there for you. Okay? 526 00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:31,704 Do you think Heath will love.... Do you need help? 527 00:37:33,351 --> 00:37:35,319 l think l need a bigger size. 528 00:37:35,386 --> 00:37:38,549 Honey, you never need a bigger size. Come here. 529 00:37:38,623 --> 00:37:41,922 Let me show you a little trick. Brace yourself. 530 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,593 Suck it in. Squeeze those cheeks, sister. 531 00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:49,225 Suck it in. Come on. Work with me. 532 00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:53,696 Don't give up on me. You can do this. Suck it in. 533 00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:57,798 Now that looks totally cute. 534 00:37:57,875 --> 00:37:59,740 My God! Are you kidding? 535 00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:04,213 ''Hi, l'm Carnie Wilson before my gastric bypass surgery.'' 536 00:38:04,315 --> 00:38:07,216 Well, what about this? This goes with your skin tone. 537 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:10,413 Somebody throw Shamu back in the ocean! 538 00:38:11,422 --> 00:38:14,016 Okay. Let me get you something else. Okay? 539 00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:16,824 How's that? 540 00:38:17,228 --> 00:38:19,696 l can't breathe. 541 00:38:21,098 --> 00:38:23,692 Honey, this is just not going to work. l'm sorry. 542 00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:26,896 Well, of course not. You're wearing the wrong underwear. 543 00:38:29,173 --> 00:38:30,697 ls that better? 544 00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,944 l can taste the leather. 545 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:38,204 Okay, you need a pair of hot shoes. What size do you wear again? 546 00:38:39,216 --> 00:38:40,808 -Fourteen. -What? 547 00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:50,123 Do you think you could bring us a size 10? 548 00:38:50,194 --> 00:38:51,752 -A what? -A 10. 549 00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:52,818 lt's an open-toed slide. 550 00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:55,559 lt gives you two sizes in the front and two in the back. 551 00:38:55,633 --> 00:38:59,330 -What about these? This one's-- -You bitch! That's so terrible. 552 00:38:59,403 --> 00:39:01,667 Let me go and see if there's some help out there. 553 00:39:01,739 --> 00:39:04,572 Some professional help. You need professional help. Hang on. 554 00:39:04,642 --> 00:39:07,543 -Okay. -Dr. Phil! 555 00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:10,038 Oprah. Somebody, help me. 556 00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,449 Come on out, honey. Let's see. 557 00:39:16,921 --> 00:39:21,358 lt is absolutely fabulous. lf you don't buy it, l'm buying it for myself. 558 00:39:23,127 --> 00:39:25,857 l don't know. Stand up straight. 559 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,770 Turn around. 560 00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:41,470 Honey, just relax. Breathe. 561 00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:55,983 You know what? Maybe a nice dress. 562 00:39:57,728 --> 00:39:59,787 Okay. Who would you do? 563 00:40:00,264 --> 00:40:03,097 Janet Reno or Rosie O'Donnell? 564 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,768 -What! Are you kidding me? -And death is not an option. 565 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,038 l don't know. Rosie. 566 00:40:12,176 --> 00:40:15,111 -You're a pig. That's disgusting. -What are you talking about? 567 00:40:15,179 --> 00:40:18,205 -Rosie's all right. -Heads up. Here they are. 568 00:40:20,618 --> 00:40:23,678 -Hold on. Who would you do? -No time. We're on the job. 569 00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:29,620 -He's got my gun and badge. -Go get him! 570 00:40:30,995 --> 00:40:32,895 Get in! Get in the car. 571 00:40:35,666 --> 00:40:37,463 My God, l need a cigarette! 572 00:40:39,403 --> 00:40:41,701 -Can you believe this? -What do we do? 573 00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:44,297 We follow them. But we can't blow our cover. 574 00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:49,511 -Give me back my bag. -Oh, man. 575 00:40:50,481 --> 00:40:52,381 l'll rip your head off. 576 00:40:53,484 --> 00:40:55,111 Your ass is mine. 577 00:40:56,654 --> 00:40:58,679 What is this girl, a track star? 578 00:41:08,332 --> 00:41:10,857 You messed with the wrong blonde today, pal. 579 00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:20,305 -Holy Christ. -Now l'm pissed. 580 00:41:21,011 --> 00:41:22,774 l think she's bionic, dude. 581 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,519 Holy smokes. 582 00:41:32,556 --> 00:41:36,492 -That was nice. -Jeez, lady. All that for a bag? 583 00:41:37,194 --> 00:41:40,686 lt's not just a bag. lt's Prada. 584 00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:53,338 -lt was like a reality show. -lt was so cool. 585 00:42:18,269 --> 00:42:21,136 -Right behind you. -Nice going, Tori. 586 00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:25,039 Way to get us sat at the losers' table. l thought you had it all hooked up. 587 00:42:25,109 --> 00:42:27,600 Excuse me. l do have the hook-up. 588 00:42:27,778 --> 00:42:30,611 Don't blame me. Blame Little Miss Def Jam over here... 589 00:42:30,681 --> 00:42:33,081 who had to go, ''Yo' mama'' on the Vandergelds. 590 00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:34,640 We could be finished in this town. 591 00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:38,017 -Somebody had to stand up to those guys. -They're the ''it'' girls. 592 00:42:38,088 --> 00:42:41,023 -That's the way it's always been. -Whatever. 593 00:42:44,194 --> 00:42:46,389 Honey, quick. Give me a pat. 594 00:42:48,332 --> 00:42:50,664 No, a powder for my nose. Quick. 595 00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:55,132 Thanks. 596 00:42:58,642 --> 00:43:00,439 No, l'm just kidding. 597 00:43:07,818 --> 00:43:11,584 l tried to call you, but your number changed? 598 00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:15,055 Yeah, l know. l changed it. 599 00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:20,625 Anyway, so, l was just wondering if maybe... 600 00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:23,191 later we could-- 601 00:43:23,801 --> 00:43:28,238 Hello. Where have you been all night? l've been looking all over for you. 602 00:43:31,075 --> 00:43:33,168 Why are you talking to her? 603 00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,246 Clean it up, coke whore. 604 00:43:40,651 --> 00:43:42,846 Do you have any more of that? 605 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:44,945 Don't hate me because you ain't me. 606 00:43:45,022 --> 00:43:47,149 Can I have your attention, please? 607 00:43:47,224 --> 00:43:49,385 Gentlemen, get out your wallets... 608 00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,485 because you'll be bidding on a date... 609 00:43:51,562 --> 00:43:54,759 with some of Hamptons' most eligible bachelorettes. 610 00:43:54,832 --> 00:43:57,232 First up, yours truly. 611 00:43:58,802 --> 00:44:00,793 Who wants to start the bidding? 612 00:44:04,274 --> 00:44:06,469 -$500? -$500. 613 00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:09,370 Okay. Do I hear $1,000? 614 00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:12,939 Well, looks like we're all on the Vandergelds' D-list. 615 00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,881 -ls this seat taken? -Oh, no. Have a seat. 616 00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:22,289 Can you believe this? They're actually auctioning off women. 617 00:44:23,093 --> 00:44:27,723 -Would you ever do anything like that? -Well, it's for a good cause. 618 00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:31,297 Besides, being wined and dined by a rich guy might be nice. 619 00:44:32,469 --> 00:44:34,664 l see, so you like rich guys? 620 00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:37,966 lt might be a pleasant change from all the losers that ask me out. 621 00:44:38,042 --> 00:44:39,669 -$3,000. -That's good. 622 00:44:39,743 --> 00:44:40,767 l see. 623 00:44:40,878 --> 00:44:43,312 But I think that we can do better than that. 624 00:44:43,380 --> 00:44:46,076 -$20,000. -Sold. 625 00:44:46,717 --> 00:44:50,881 $20,000. That is a new record. 626 00:44:52,056 --> 00:44:53,717 That is very good. 627 00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:59,192 Next to be auctioned is Tiffany Wilson. 628 00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:02,598 -That's you. -Me? 629 00:45:03,567 --> 00:45:05,535 You better do something. 630 00:45:05,936 --> 00:45:08,530 Excuse me, honey. l'll be right back. 631 00:45:15,579 --> 00:45:17,877 Who wants to start the bidding? 632 00:45:17,981 --> 00:45:19,005 $4. 633 00:45:21,185 --> 00:45:24,348 $4. Do I hear $5? 634 00:45:26,056 --> 00:45:27,956 $1,000. 635 00:45:29,059 --> 00:45:32,051 $1,000. Does anyone wish to go higher? 636 00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:34,196 Yeah, l got $2,000 right here. 637 00:45:35,365 --> 00:45:37,526 $3,000. 638 00:45:38,135 --> 00:45:39,830 $5,000. 639 00:45:40,137 --> 00:45:41,627 Who said that? 640 00:45:43,774 --> 00:45:46,800 $5,000 to the dirty geezer in the back. 641 00:45:46,877 --> 00:45:49,175 I'm sure no one will wish to go higher than that... 642 00:45:49,246 --> 00:45:50,804 so we can just be done with it now. 643 00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:53,145 $10,000. 644 00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:55,179 $20,000. 645 00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:00,679 $20,000! Going once, going twice-- 646 00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:05,092 $50,000. Cash! 647 00:46:08,232 --> 00:46:09,324 Fine. 648 00:46:10,534 --> 00:46:11,728 Sold... 649 00:46:12,202 --> 00:46:14,602 to the big black guy right there. 650 00:46:15,172 --> 00:46:17,333 Step right up and claim your prize. 651 00:46:21,979 --> 00:46:24,447 l don't want to go on a date with Buff Daddy. 652 00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,107 Come here, baby. 653 00:46:33,023 --> 00:46:35,821 Dude, my feet are killing me. 654 00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:40,161 And on top of that, that G-string gave me diaper rash. 655 00:46:40,230 --> 00:46:43,131 -How long we got to do this, man? -Just a couple more days. 656 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,397 l don't have a couple of more days. Do you know who my wife is? 657 00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:49,462 Here, listen to this message. She's losing her mind. 658 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,468 ...with another woman doing what I think you're doing! 659 00:46:52,543 --> 00:46:53,942 You don't want to hear the rest. 660 00:46:54,011 --> 00:46:58,175 By the end of the weekend, we'll be heroes and all will be forgiven. 661 00:46:58,916 --> 00:47:00,247 All right. 662 00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:04,613 -You order room service? -No. 663 00:47:09,092 --> 00:47:10,423 Who is it? 664 00:47:15,432 --> 00:47:17,627 Damn! These girls won't quit. 665 00:47:19,102 --> 00:47:22,265 We'll be right there. We're coming. Hang on. 666 00:47:24,975 --> 00:47:26,602 -Open up! -Open. 667 00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:27,939 One second. 668 00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:30,775 We'll be right there. Hang on. 669 00:47:31,048 --> 00:47:32,845 The ice cream's melting! 670 00:47:32,916 --> 00:47:36,977 Hold tight, girls! We're just shaving our feet, okay? 671 00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:40,146 And braiding our vaginas. 672 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:54,097 What, did you guys forget? lt's your turn to host the slumber party. 673 00:47:59,810 --> 00:48:02,608 Okay, you guys. What does it mean... 674 00:48:02,913 --> 00:48:06,576 when a guy is in a really bad relationship... 675 00:48:06,817 --> 00:48:10,446 and it's really obvious that he wants to be with you... 676 00:48:10,754 --> 00:48:13,518 but he just can't seem to break up with his girlfriend? 677 00:48:13,590 --> 00:48:15,956 lt means you're a total booty call. 678 00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:19,893 -My God! Brittany! -Well, you were thinking it. 679 00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:21,624 Well, you said it. 680 00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:24,460 You know, sometimes you sound just like a man. 681 00:48:24,534 --> 00:48:26,195 So l've been told. 682 00:48:27,771 --> 00:48:29,898 What she means to say, honey... 683 00:48:29,973 --> 00:48:34,569 is maybe you're just making yourself just a little bit too, like, available. 684 00:48:35,312 --> 00:48:37,109 Come on, you guys. 685 00:48:37,481 --> 00:48:40,314 Don't act like you haven't done it before. 686 00:48:40,484 --> 00:48:43,783 You know how it is when you really care about someone. 687 00:48:43,854 --> 00:48:45,185 You call them all day long... 688 00:48:45,255 --> 00:48:47,655 because you just wanna know how their day is going... 689 00:48:47,724 --> 00:48:51,785 and what they're thinking about and if they're thinking about you. 690 00:48:52,829 --> 00:48:56,128 You spend all day trying to find the perfect outfit. 691 00:48:56,233 --> 00:48:59,293 You even change your hairstyle just so he'll take a second look. 692 00:48:59,369 --> 00:49:01,234 But they never notice. 693 00:49:01,405 --> 00:49:04,568 Sometimes l just wish that they could trade places with us... 694 00:49:04,641 --> 00:49:07,701 so that they would know how it feels. You know? 695 00:49:08,145 --> 00:49:09,908 -All done. -Really? 696 00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:14,015 My God! This is so cool. 697 00:49:14,084 --> 00:49:15,346 You know something? 698 00:49:15,419 --> 00:49:18,183 l think you might have been black in a previous life. 699 00:49:18,255 --> 00:49:20,155 Fo' shizzle, my nizzle. 700 00:49:21,425 --> 00:49:25,794 All right, l got another one for you. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson? 701 00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:28,119 Easy. 702 00:49:28,198 --> 00:49:30,894 But they both got a yeast infection. 703 00:49:32,336 --> 00:49:33,963 Now that's tough. 704 00:49:38,508 --> 00:49:41,966 -l'm going to go with Pam Anderson. -You're disgusting. 705 00:49:42,379 --> 00:49:45,246 -What? -They got a yeast infection. 706 00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:47,746 Who would you choose? 707 00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:50,685 Hey, Gomez. We got a couple of bogeys. 708 00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:53,546 -No time. -Oh, come on! 709 00:49:54,057 --> 00:49:56,457 lt's Pam Anderson, like you care. 710 00:50:00,030 --> 00:50:02,055 Run their faces. Let's go. 711 00:50:05,802 --> 00:50:08,202 -Brittany Wilson? -Yeah, that's me. 712 00:50:08,271 --> 00:50:09,761 Let's get her. 713 00:50:12,576 --> 00:50:16,342 -Put the blindfold on her! -Damn, this girl's strong. 714 00:50:30,427 --> 00:50:32,895 -Who do you work for? -lntimate Fantasies! 715 00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:34,658 My God. You need help? 716 00:50:34,731 --> 00:50:39,293 What are you doing? Those are the strippers, Raoul and Tito. 717 00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:40,700 Strippers? 718 00:50:44,508 --> 00:50:48,376 -l thought they were going to kidnap me. -That's part of their routine. 719 00:50:48,445 --> 00:50:52,006 Oh, my God! l am so sorry. 720 00:50:52,082 --> 00:50:54,550 Hotel security! ls everything all right here? 721 00:50:54,618 --> 00:50:58,349 Everything is fine. Just a little case of PMS. That's all. 722 00:50:58,422 --> 00:51:00,856 l'm just one big, emotional wreck. 723 00:51:00,957 --> 00:51:03,949 Could you guys go get me some Midol and a Snickers? 724 00:51:04,027 --> 00:51:06,655 -Let's get out of here. -My ass is fat. 725 00:51:06,963 --> 00:51:08,692 This is Harper. lt's all clear. 726 00:51:15,172 --> 00:51:19,302 Okay, ladies. Let's focus. We have to find the perfect spot. 727 00:51:19,876 --> 00:51:21,275 Skank alert. 728 00:51:29,019 --> 00:51:32,079 My God, girls. l totally forgot my suntan lotion. 729 00:51:32,155 --> 00:51:35,352 l'm gonna get some suntan lotion. l'll be right back. 730 00:51:35,625 --> 00:51:36,819 Hey, Russ. 731 00:51:43,066 --> 00:51:46,331 Hey, bro. Go long. l got a plan. Go. 732 00:51:55,245 --> 00:51:58,408 Hey, yo! You do that again, l'm going to bust.... 733 00:52:01,084 --> 00:52:02,984 l'll bust out in tears. 734 00:52:04,754 --> 00:52:06,915 -lnbreds! -You're a jerk. 735 00:52:09,693 --> 00:52:13,185 My bad, sweetheart. Over here. Don't hurt yourself. 736 00:52:13,363 --> 00:52:16,332 Don't worry, l won't. 737 00:52:19,035 --> 00:52:21,469 Sorry. Better lay off the spinach. 738 00:52:35,952 --> 00:52:38,716 Tony. Let's go hunting. 739 00:52:57,140 --> 00:52:59,267 What a beautiful, sunny day. 740 00:53:03,780 --> 00:53:06,214 Oh, my God. What happened to the sun? 741 00:53:07,217 --> 00:53:09,082 Easy, white chocolate. 742 00:53:09,886 --> 00:53:11,717 l wouldn't want you to melt. 743 00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:15,087 Yeah. Hasta la vista, Schwarzenegro. Bye. 744 00:53:25,268 --> 00:53:28,328 Hey, kids! You guys want to make $5? 745 00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:29,633 Yeah! Sure! 746 00:53:29,706 --> 00:53:31,867 Okay, here's what l want you to do. 747 00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:39,406 Yeah, l'll take the usual. And put it on my tab. 748 00:53:40,650 --> 00:53:43,210 Hey, Latrell Spencer! Could we have your autograph? 749 00:53:43,286 --> 00:53:46,084 -Sure, little buddy. -Thanks. You're the greatest. 750 00:53:46,156 --> 00:53:48,249 Hey, that's what l do, baby. 751 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:51,991 -Sweet! -Nice! 752 00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:54,963 -Hey, stay in school. -Okay, we will! 753 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:59,928 -Wow! You must be pretty good. -l'm all right. 754 00:54:00,971 --> 00:54:04,702 Sometimes l feel l should be paying them to take my autograph. 755 00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:07,604 l'm sorry, l didn't even get your name. 756 00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:11,904 Latrell. Latrell Spencer. And you are? 757 00:54:11,982 --> 00:54:15,509 -Denise Porter. -Denise. Denise Porter. 758 00:54:16,019 --> 00:54:19,580 You know, you look so familiar. l feel like l've seen you somewhere. 759 00:54:19,656 --> 00:54:24,218 No. l play pro ball. Maybe you've seen one of my games. 760 00:54:24,294 --> 00:54:28,958 No. But l mean if l did, l'm sure l would've definitely remembered you. 761 00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:33,897 Okay, well. Look, Denise... 762 00:54:34,738 --> 00:54:36,831 l don't mean to be too forward or anything... 763 00:54:36,906 --> 00:54:39,898 but l'm here in town, checking out some real estate, and-- 764 00:54:39,976 --> 00:54:41,443 Oh, whereabouts? 765 00:54:41,911 --> 00:54:44,471 -You know, up around over there. -ln Montauk? 766 00:54:44,547 --> 00:54:47,414 -More like around-- -East Hampton. 767 00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:49,918 Just all over the place. lt's one big blur. 768 00:54:49,986 --> 00:54:51,954 One big, business blur. 769 00:54:52,022 --> 00:54:55,082 l kind of want to get away from all that business and... 770 00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:57,649 hang out with somebody and have a real conversation. 771 00:54:57,727 --> 00:55:00,560 So, l was wondering if you're not too busy... 772 00:55:00,630 --> 00:55:03,428 -maybe we can hang out? -Yeah, sure. 773 00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:07,397 -Really? All right. Cool! -Yeah. 774 00:55:11,341 --> 00:55:13,741 So, l'll pick you up at about.... 775 00:55:19,082 --> 00:55:22,518 You know, the jet should be here about 7:30... 776 00:55:22,585 --> 00:55:26,715 and the limo will take about a half-hour. About 8:00. ls that good? 777 00:55:26,823 --> 00:55:30,725 -Yeah, 8:00 sounds great. -8:00 sounds good? All right. 778 00:55:32,495 --> 00:55:34,258 -Goodbye. -Take care. 779 00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,630 Hey, where's our $5? 780 00:55:39,903 --> 00:55:41,700 All right, calm down. 781 00:55:43,406 --> 00:55:46,773 Here you go. $5. $2.50 each. 782 00:55:47,444 --> 00:55:50,038 -You promised to give us $5 each. -Stay in school. 783 00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:51,102 Cheapo. 784 00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:51,581 l am not making excuses. l refuse to believe it. 785 00:55:51,581 --> 00:55:54,141 l am not making excuses. l refuse to believe it. 786 00:55:54,217 --> 00:55:57,015 -Really? -l don't want to believe Marcus is cheating. 787 00:55:57,087 --> 00:56:00,215 l don't wanna believe Michael Jackson keeps carving up his nose. 788 00:56:00,290 --> 00:56:03,691 Excuse me. Your card has been declined for insufficient funds. 789 00:56:03,793 --> 00:56:05,658 The rep's on the line. 790 00:56:06,596 --> 00:56:08,689 Yes, this is Mrs. Copeland. 791 00:56:10,467 --> 00:56:14,164 $4,000 dress? And where did l buy this dress? 792 00:56:14,771 --> 00:56:16,238 The Hamptons! 793 00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,774 Yes, l remember. 794 00:56:21,010 --> 00:56:22,341 Thank you. 795 00:56:26,216 --> 00:56:27,478 lt is on. 796 00:56:32,021 --> 00:56:34,114 l don't see why l got to go out with Mandingo. 797 00:56:34,190 --> 00:56:36,055 'Cause if you don't, you'll blow our cover. 798 00:56:36,126 --> 00:56:38,094 What you gonna be doing? 799 00:56:39,129 --> 00:56:42,826 Me? l'm going to follow up on a lead. 800 00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:49,936 You're going on a date. 801 00:56:50,006 --> 00:56:51,667 She's a reporter. 802 00:56:52,342 --> 00:56:55,800 Who else knows more about the Hamptons people than her? 803 00:56:57,013 --> 00:57:00,779 All right, so l like the girl. You're the one always telling me to settle down. 804 00:57:00,850 --> 00:57:02,147 And you should. 805 00:57:02,218 --> 00:57:05,381 But that don't mean l got to go with Buffy the White Girl Slayer. 806 00:57:05,455 --> 00:57:08,356 All right. Look. Just go to dinner. Okay? 807 00:57:08,892 --> 00:57:12,328 l'm only gonna be a couple of hours and l'll meet you back at the club. 808 00:57:12,395 --> 00:57:13,692 -You promise? -l promise? 809 00:57:13,763 --> 00:57:15,287 l'm serious, dude. Promise. 810 00:57:15,365 --> 00:57:17,560 l do. l'm serious. All right. 811 00:57:18,701 --> 00:57:20,396 And if you need to use protection... 812 00:57:20,470 --> 00:57:23,837 tell Latrell there's an extra shower curtain in the bathroom. 813 00:57:33,516 --> 00:57:34,710 Hop in. 814 00:57:36,853 --> 00:57:39,651 Take your time. Watch those marshmallows. 815 00:57:43,159 --> 00:57:45,024 Ease on in there, now. 816 00:57:46,062 --> 00:57:48,690 l won't bite unless you ask me to. 817 00:57:54,437 --> 00:57:56,234 You are so beautiful. 818 00:58:01,644 --> 00:58:03,168 Good boy, Baby. 819 00:58:04,881 --> 00:58:07,873 How about we listen to a little bit of music? 820 00:58:12,188 --> 00:58:13,587 What the.... 821 00:58:15,925 --> 00:58:19,019 How did you know? l love this song! 822 00:58:20,129 --> 00:58:23,030 Making my way downtown Walking fast 823 00:58:23,099 --> 00:58:25,567 Faces pass And I'm home bound 824 00:58:29,138 --> 00:58:30,696 And I need you 825 00:58:31,641 --> 00:58:33,199 And I miss you 826 00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:37,177 And now I wonder 827 00:58:37,647 --> 00:58:42,243 If I could fall Into the sky 828 00:58:42,585 --> 00:58:47,022 Do you think time Would pass me by 829 00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:52,120 'Cause you know I'd walk A thousand miles 830 00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:55,995 If I could Just see you 831 00:58:57,166 --> 00:58:58,599 Tonight 832 00:59:13,283 --> 00:59:16,150 -Good evening, madam. Welcome to Bella. -Thank you. 833 00:59:16,853 --> 00:59:17,945 What are you doing here? 834 00:59:18,021 --> 00:59:20,285 l came to borrow the car and the keys to his house. 835 00:59:20,356 --> 00:59:23,223 Are you crazy? lf you crash this man's car, he will kill you. 836 00:59:23,293 --> 00:59:27,161 l won't crash it. Look. Just call me before you leave. l'll bring it back. 837 00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:29,664 Then you meet me back at the club. 838 00:59:30,833 --> 00:59:33,563 No, my brother. You got to get your own. 839 00:59:38,808 --> 00:59:40,036 Help me. 840 00:59:46,482 --> 00:59:48,143 Thank you. 841 00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,179 May l bring you something from the bar? 842 00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:56,157 Let me have a bottle of your best champagne. 843 01:00:00,363 --> 01:00:03,264 -And bring us some oysters. -Very good, sir. 844 01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,626 l have to say, l was so.... 845 01:00:09,872 --> 01:00:12,397 l was happy when l bought you at the auction. 846 01:00:12,475 --> 01:00:15,911 l mean, it's very rare l have the opportunity to... 847 01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,314 bask in the ambience of such a classy lady such as yourself. 848 01:00:21,718 --> 01:00:23,151 Oh, my God! 849 01:00:23,553 --> 01:00:27,011 -l am humbled by your... -This athlete's foot is just killing me. 850 01:00:27,090 --> 01:00:29,524 -...beautiful nature. -That smell. That's infection. 851 01:00:29,592 --> 01:00:33,323 -The most high-classness of your.... -My God. ls that a hangnail? 852 01:00:35,031 --> 01:00:37,056 Captivated by your beauty. 853 01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:40,958 Your bountiful curves remind me of the hills in ltaly. 854 01:00:46,142 --> 01:00:48,303 l'm sorry. You were saying? 855 01:00:50,046 --> 01:00:53,140 -That's perfect. Thank you. -Are you ready to order? 856 01:00:53,216 --> 01:00:57,243 Yes, l'll have the chicken. White meat only. 857 01:00:59,622 --> 01:01:02,648 And for the lady, perhaps a salad? 858 01:01:03,860 --> 01:01:08,126 Perhaps not. l'll have the steak, smothered in onions. 859 01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:11,291 A rack of ribs. Pasta with extra garlic. 860 01:01:11,367 --> 01:01:16,236 French fries with lots of vinegar and a side of onion rings with lots of sauerkraut. 861 01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:24,203 Have you ever had oysters? 862 01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:27,349 Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac? 863 01:01:34,390 --> 01:01:35,550 Sorry. 864 01:01:37,593 --> 01:01:39,561 My tongue's kind of big. 865 01:01:50,039 --> 01:01:52,200 lt'll open. Hold it! 866 01:01:52,275 --> 01:01:56,302 l'll push. Yeah. See, that did it there. 867 01:01:56,846 --> 01:01:58,575 Just a little turn. 868 01:01:59,315 --> 01:02:01,510 There's so many keys involved... 869 01:02:01,584 --> 01:02:04,712 sometimes it's hard to figure out what's what. 870 01:02:10,093 --> 01:02:11,993 lt's Mei Ling. 871 01:02:13,696 --> 01:02:16,062 What are you doing here? Girl, it's late! 872 01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:18,600 Come on, now. You have to go home. Get some rest. 873 01:02:18,668 --> 01:02:22,160 You cannot stay. There are laws against this kind of workmanship. 874 01:02:22,238 --> 01:02:24,672 They'll think l'm running some kind of sweatshop. 875 01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:28,472 That girl does not know when to go home. 876 01:02:28,544 --> 01:02:32,981 l'm telling you, she will stay here and just clean forever. 877 01:02:36,919 --> 01:02:39,012 This is really nice. 878 01:02:39,622 --> 01:02:41,419 Yeah, this is dope. 879 01:02:42,859 --> 01:02:45,157 Dope summer home l picked, boy. 880 01:02:47,096 --> 01:02:48,791 Who's that? 881 01:02:50,833 --> 01:02:54,963 The big, buff, bald dude with the fur? 882 01:02:56,205 --> 01:02:58,036 That's my trainer. 883 01:02:58,474 --> 01:03:00,032 You have your trainer on your wall? 884 01:03:00,109 --> 01:03:04,170 Yes, well, for inspiration. l want to look like that one day and... 885 01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:07,807 l come in every morning and l look at the.... You ever see Titanic? 886 01:03:07,884 --> 01:03:11,877 -No, l haven't seen it. -Me, either. You want something to drink? 887 01:03:12,121 --> 01:03:14,954 -Yeah, sure. A glass of wine would be nice. -Wine. 888 01:03:16,392 --> 01:03:19,759 Okay, so l'll get you a glass of wine and.... 889 01:03:20,563 --> 01:03:22,463 That'd be in the kitchen, right? 890 01:03:22,532 --> 01:03:25,399 l don't know. This is your house, Latrell. 891 01:03:25,501 --> 01:03:27,867 Who? Oh, me! Latrell. 892 01:03:28,104 --> 01:03:31,039 That's right. l'm Latrell. That's right. 893 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:34,807 l'm going to get you a bottle of my wine in my house. 894 01:03:35,278 --> 01:03:39,112 It's my house and I live here 895 01:03:59,735 --> 01:04:01,396 Damn, little lady! 896 01:04:02,004 --> 01:04:03,995 You sure can put it away. 897 01:04:07,143 --> 01:04:08,735 You're so funny. 898 01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:12,340 Voilà! 899 01:04:16,719 --> 01:04:18,243 You have a dog. 900 01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,783 No, l don't have no damn dog. 901 01:04:22,658 --> 01:04:25,752 Well, then whose dog is that? 902 01:04:29,665 --> 01:04:30,757 Shit. 903 01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:36,532 That's not no dog. 904 01:04:37,106 --> 01:04:38,596 That's family. 905 01:04:40,610 --> 01:04:42,077 Hey, cousin. 906 01:04:47,049 --> 01:04:48,573 Come here, boy. 907 01:04:54,090 --> 01:04:56,024 He looks really mad! Are you okay? 908 01:04:56,092 --> 01:04:59,357 Yeah, l'm fine. He just misses me, that's all. 909 01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:02,793 Okay, boy, playtime's over. Let me up! 910 01:05:04,433 --> 01:05:07,834 -You want me to go for help? -No, we're just having fun. 911 01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:09,997 You sure are playful today. 912 01:05:12,541 --> 01:05:14,839 You want to go for a walk, boy? 913 01:05:16,212 --> 01:05:17,941 l'll be right back! 914 01:05:19,048 --> 01:05:21,516 You know what? Forget this! l'm out of here! 915 01:05:21,584 --> 01:05:25,543 l don't want to go on a date with a guy and his dog is biting him and.... 916 01:05:32,628 --> 01:05:35,028 What's he doing now? What's that? 917 01:05:36,165 --> 01:05:37,757 Don't pay him no mind. 918 01:05:37,833 --> 01:05:40,996 He's just going to do that until he falls asleep. 919 01:05:43,472 --> 01:05:46,270 Now, where were we? Wine! 920 01:05:57,386 --> 01:06:01,550 You know, l like a woman with a little extra something. 921 01:06:03,225 --> 01:06:06,422 A little cushion for the pushing. 922 01:06:07,363 --> 01:06:10,230 l'd really love for you to come to one of my games. 923 01:06:10,299 --> 01:06:13,928 No, thank you. l've seen you play. Not impressed. 924 01:06:14,170 --> 01:06:17,731 Excuse me? l'm the highest scoring forward in the league! 925 01:06:19,141 --> 01:06:23,441 But all that talent? Totally overshadowed by nothing but scandals and pure laziness. 926 01:06:23,512 --> 01:06:27,471 Come on! You're shooting under 50% from the free throw line, okay? 927 01:06:27,550 --> 01:06:29,313 Your turnover ratio, abysmal. 928 01:06:29,385 --> 01:06:33,651 And on top of that, you can't shoot three-pointers to save your life. So... 929 01:06:33,723 --> 01:06:35,088 squeeze me. 930 01:06:44,066 --> 01:06:46,660 No one's ever cared like that before. 931 01:06:48,504 --> 01:06:50,096 Come here, baby! 932 01:06:56,879 --> 01:06:58,471 Oopsie! l had a poopsie. 933 01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:03,182 Girl, we're going to get along just fine. 934 01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:05,419 Back at you! 935 01:07:08,758 --> 01:07:11,693 -Bask in the ambience! -l'm going to be sick. 936 01:07:13,229 --> 01:07:17,165 So, no. l jump over the fence, fall. l scrape my knee. 937 01:07:17,233 --> 01:07:19,463 -Get out of here. -No, seriously, listen. 938 01:07:19,535 --> 01:07:23,938 l scrape my knee. l get chased by the cops and l spend the night in jail. 939 01:07:24,006 --> 01:07:27,271 That's insane. You did all that just to find J-Lo and Ben's hideaway? 940 01:07:27,343 --> 01:07:31,404 l can't help it. You know, investigative journalism is my passion. 941 01:07:31,614 --> 01:07:35,311 So how'd you end up writing puff pieces for the local news? 942 01:07:36,619 --> 01:07:39,213 Unfortunately, l made some enemies... 943 01:07:39,722 --> 01:07:42,247 and ended up getting fired from my last job. 944 01:07:42,324 --> 01:07:43,348 What happened? 945 01:07:43,426 --> 01:07:45,519 Believe me, you don't want to know about that. 946 01:07:45,594 --> 01:07:48,586 Look, l spent all night talking about myself. 947 01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:52,694 Sometimes it's good for a man to just sit back and listen. 948 01:07:53,869 --> 01:07:56,201 Well, since you put it that way. 949 01:07:59,475 --> 01:08:02,103 l did this piece on Warren Vandergeld. 950 01:08:02,511 --> 01:08:05,412 Him and his partners tried to swindle a guy. 951 01:08:05,481 --> 01:08:07,676 You talking about Ted Burton? 952 01:08:08,217 --> 01:08:09,980 Yeah, how did you know that? 953 01:08:10,052 --> 01:08:12,646 lt was in the paper. l read about it. 954 01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,747 But what they didn't report in the paper... 955 01:08:15,825 --> 01:08:18,851 was that Burton was 10 times smarter than all of them. 956 01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:22,659 He embezzled millions and stashed it in an offshore account. 957 01:08:25,134 --> 01:08:27,534 When Vandergeld heard the story was going to break... 958 01:08:27,603 --> 01:08:29,696 he didn't want to be embarrassed. 959 01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:31,740 Well, there goes my job. 960 01:08:33,909 --> 01:08:35,900 You know, you're a good listener. 961 01:08:35,978 --> 01:08:39,072 lt seems like you have the whole package. 962 01:08:56,832 --> 01:08:57,890 Man! 963 01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:03,563 -Hello? -Kev, you got to go. 964 01:09:03,639 --> 01:09:06,665 -What? Now? -Yeah, now. We're on our way. 965 01:09:07,676 --> 01:09:09,701 Can't you stall him for a little while? 966 01:09:09,778 --> 01:09:13,270 Look, this man sang to me. He tried to kiss me and on top of that... 967 01:09:13,349 --> 01:09:15,408 he been farting for the last 20 minutes. 968 01:09:15,484 --> 01:09:18,317 All right, l'll be there in a minute. Bye. 969 01:09:19,188 --> 01:09:22,282 -Cottontail! -l'm coming, nigger! 970 01:09:25,728 --> 01:09:27,889 Gomez, what the hell are we looking for? 971 01:09:27,963 --> 01:09:31,592 l don't know. Something just isn't right about these girls. 972 01:09:31,667 --> 01:09:33,862 l'm gonna check the bathroom. 973 01:09:44,647 --> 01:09:46,137 Find anything? 974 01:09:47,283 --> 01:09:49,717 No. Not yet. 975 01:09:58,494 --> 01:10:02,430 You won't believe what l.... What the hell are you doing? 976 01:10:06,635 --> 01:10:10,401 Sniffing chicks' underwear, man. What is the big.... 977 01:10:10,706 --> 01:10:12,196 lt's.... What? 978 01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,776 They're guys, aren't they? 979 01:10:20,716 --> 01:10:22,741 You really are disgusting. 980 01:10:38,334 --> 01:10:41,667 -Latrell, my man! What's going on, brother? -What's up, man? 981 01:10:42,438 --> 01:10:45,339 -Two apple martinis. -You hitting that, bro? 982 01:10:45,975 --> 01:10:48,603 -This is a tough one to crack. -Tiffany Wilson? 983 01:10:48,677 --> 01:10:50,668 She puts the ''E'' in easy. 984 01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:53,772 Here. Drop a couple of these babies in her drink, man. 985 01:10:53,849 --> 01:10:55,646 Are you sure this will work? 986 01:10:55,718 --> 01:10:58,346 Man, l just took two of them, and l'm telling you... 987 01:10:58,420 --> 01:11:01,116 l'm boinking someone tonight, you know? 988 01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,422 Excuse me. 989 01:11:10,065 --> 01:11:12,761 That's for you, my little Miracle Whip. 990 01:11:13,636 --> 01:11:16,264 You need to loosen up. There you go. 991 01:11:17,906 --> 01:11:19,168 That's for you. 992 01:11:19,241 --> 01:11:21,573 -Oh, my God! ls that Britney Spears? -Where? 993 01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:25,136 Right over there. Forget it, she just left. 994 01:11:26,682 --> 01:11:28,707 Oops, she did it again. 995 01:11:33,656 --> 01:11:35,851 -Let's drink up. -Let's do it. 996 01:11:36,725 --> 01:11:38,352 To the last drop. 997 01:11:44,700 --> 01:11:47,498 That's good. You want to dance? 998 01:11:47,703 --> 01:11:51,662 You know, that's a great idea. Here, hold Baby. Let's go, girls. 999 01:12:00,783 --> 01:12:05,720 l found out some interesting information. Ted Burton turned the tables on Vandergeld. 1000 01:12:05,788 --> 01:12:07,483 Tucked away $100 million. 1001 01:12:07,556 --> 01:12:10,389 Been living the high life ever since he got out of prison. 1002 01:12:10,459 --> 01:12:12,324 There goes our motive. 1003 01:12:22,104 --> 01:12:24,538 Those skanks think they're hot? 1004 01:12:26,575 --> 01:12:29,100 Let's show them what sexy really is. 1005 01:12:55,137 --> 01:12:57,970 They want to battle. Let's go, girls. 1006 01:13:13,589 --> 01:13:15,682 You girls want some of this? 1007 01:13:15,758 --> 01:13:17,953 Bring it on, sisters! 1008 01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:20,152 Okay, let's do it! 1009 01:13:20,996 --> 01:13:23,362 Five, six, seven, eight. 1010 01:14:27,629 --> 01:14:28,857 Come on. 1011 01:14:32,167 --> 01:14:33,862 Hold on. 1012 01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:37,704 l know you hookers don't think this is over with. 1013 01:14:38,740 --> 01:14:40,731 Let's kick it old school. 1014 01:15:04,967 --> 01:15:06,298 They suck! 1015 01:15:39,301 --> 01:15:40,825 Oh, my God! 1016 01:15:50,245 --> 01:15:51,542 We won! 1017 01:16:02,424 --> 01:16:04,085 Come on, let's go. 1018 01:16:05,527 --> 01:16:07,620 Get out of my way! Move it! 1019 01:16:09,364 --> 01:16:10,888 l need a drink. 1020 01:16:16,672 --> 01:16:19,470 Hey, Latrell, my man. 1021 01:16:21,243 --> 01:16:23,074 So did it work, man? 1022 01:16:24,780 --> 01:16:26,270 l don't know. 1023 01:16:27,382 --> 01:16:29,111 But l got to dance. 1024 01:16:29,885 --> 01:16:31,546 l got to hit this. 1025 01:16:34,256 --> 01:16:35,723 Hold the dog. 1026 01:16:41,263 --> 01:16:41,296 Let it out. 1027 01:16:41,296 --> 01:16:42,627 Let it out. 1028 01:16:43,031 --> 01:16:44,965 Oh, yeah. Now it's out. 1029 01:16:46,134 --> 01:16:48,762 l paid thousands of dollars on this outfit... 1030 01:16:48,837 --> 01:16:51,271 and do you think he even noticed? 1031 01:16:51,340 --> 01:16:52,500 lt's going to be okay. 1032 01:16:52,574 --> 01:16:54,906 Little Miss Vandergeld walks in... 1033 01:16:54,977 --> 01:16:58,037 and he just forgets all about me. 1034 01:16:59,615 --> 01:17:01,879 Okay, let it out. 1035 01:17:03,552 --> 01:17:04,917 l wonder... 1036 01:17:06,521 --> 01:17:09,012 if he would think she was so hot... 1037 01:17:09,524 --> 01:17:13,824 if he knew that she is broke. 1038 01:17:14,930 --> 01:17:16,659 Vandergeld's broke? 1039 01:17:19,601 --> 01:17:22,502 We mustn't talk of such things. 1040 01:17:22,604 --> 01:17:24,071 No, we won't. 1041 01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:27,640 But, yes, they're broke. 1042 01:17:29,845 --> 01:17:34,305 My father even had to loan her father money... 1043 01:17:34,449 --> 01:17:37,247 just so that they could keep their house. 1044 01:17:37,386 --> 01:17:39,980 They just paid us back. 1045 01:17:41,356 --> 01:17:44,587 -You guys, l love you guys. -We love you, too. 1046 01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,389 l love you so much! 1047 01:17:47,763 --> 01:17:49,094 Thank you. 1048 01:17:49,164 --> 01:17:51,962 Can we get you some gum or a mint or something? 1049 01:17:52,968 --> 01:17:54,595 Hey, little girl. 1050 01:17:59,141 --> 01:18:02,235 Really? l love you, too. 1051 01:18:06,214 --> 01:18:09,012 What the hell are you doing? Give me her! 1052 01:18:10,619 --> 01:18:13,087 Sicko. Where's Latrell? 1053 01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:15,254 Dance floor. 1054 01:18:52,561 --> 01:18:54,529 Good morning, snowflake. 1055 01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:04,205 Oh, my God. Brittany! 1056 01:19:05,373 --> 01:19:07,671 -What? -We're on page six. 1057 01:19:08,110 --> 01:19:09,702 -No. -Yeah. 1058 01:19:09,778 --> 01:19:13,373 Look. ''Wilson sisters rock Hamptons.'' 1059 01:19:17,185 --> 01:19:19,949 -Wilsons rock! -We rocked! 1060 01:19:21,890 --> 01:19:25,883 Wait. We weren't in the Hamptons this weekend. 1061 01:19:27,062 --> 01:19:31,328 No! We've been cloned! 1062 01:19:35,904 --> 01:19:38,498 He's got to be around here somewhere. 1063 01:19:38,640 --> 01:19:41,905 Girl, wait a minute. lsn't that Marcus right there? 1064 01:19:42,544 --> 01:19:46,275 -That's him, all right. Old lying dog! -Caught you. 1065 01:19:48,917 --> 01:19:50,817 That sounds like Gina. 1066 01:19:51,853 --> 01:19:54,083 -Don't answer it. She'll go away. -No, she won't. 1067 01:19:54,156 --> 01:19:57,148 l'm not going anywhere until you open this door! 1068 01:19:57,225 --> 01:20:00,820 -l told you! What am l going to do? -Just get rid of her. 1069 01:20:01,429 --> 01:20:04,159 l'll get rid of her. You hide the stuff. 1070 01:20:06,334 --> 01:20:09,997 -l'm not playing with you! -Coming, baby! 1071 01:20:10,338 --> 01:20:12,238 What is all that noise? 1072 01:20:12,474 --> 01:20:14,772 Nothing! Okay, baby, l'm coming! 1073 01:20:19,381 --> 01:20:21,508 l'm coming. Hide. 1074 01:20:25,253 --> 01:20:28,484 Hey, baby! Hi, boo-boo. 1075 01:20:33,228 --> 01:20:36,527 -Nice room you got, Marcus. -Hey, baby, what you doing here? 1076 01:20:36,598 --> 01:20:38,964 -l could ask you the same question. -Me? 1077 01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:41,329 l'm on assignment. 1078 01:20:42,037 --> 01:20:44,028 Are you wearing lipstick? 1079 01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:47,435 No. That's Kool-Aid. You want some? 1080 01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:50,945 You know, it's filled with lots of vitamin C and riboflavin. 1081 01:20:51,012 --> 01:20:52,502 ls that a bra? 1082 01:20:53,415 --> 01:20:54,677 No, this? 1083 01:20:55,050 --> 01:20:58,918 This is the new holsters they gave us at work. 1084 01:20:58,987 --> 01:21:02,479 They're government issue. You can put two guns in there and just.... 1085 01:21:02,557 --> 01:21:04,047 ''Freeze, FBl!'' 1086 01:21:04,726 --> 01:21:07,695 -l know somebody's in here. -Baby, nobody's in here. 1087 01:21:07,762 --> 01:21:10,629 See? Nobody's in here. 1088 01:21:11,933 --> 01:21:14,902 -Check under the bed-- -What do you mean, ''Check under the bed''? 1089 01:21:14,970 --> 01:21:18,133 -l heard somebody on the phone. -Check under the bed! 1090 01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:21,505 -That's where everybody hides! Check it! -Marcus! Nobody can fit! 1091 01:21:21,576 --> 01:21:23,703 See, nobody here, right? Nobody there. 1092 01:21:23,778 --> 01:21:27,373 -l'll look in the bathroom. -Wait! No! Don't check the bathroom! 1093 01:21:29,317 --> 01:21:31,717 You don't want me to check the bathroom! 1094 01:21:34,222 --> 01:21:37,658 See? Nothing in the bathroom. Nobody in the room. See? 1095 01:21:38,026 --> 01:21:40,358 l told you no one was here. See? 1096 01:21:41,863 --> 01:21:44,024 You know, baby, this gotta stop! 1097 01:21:44,132 --> 01:21:47,033 -We can't have love if we don't have trust. -l know, but look. 1098 01:21:47,102 --> 01:21:49,730 l was at the restaurant and the card wouldn't go through-- 1099 01:21:49,804 --> 01:21:53,831 Listen. lf we don't have trust, we don't have nothing. 1100 01:21:54,276 --> 01:21:56,676 This is not about trust. This is about-- 1101 01:21:59,247 --> 01:22:01,272 There she is, right there! 1102 01:22:06,321 --> 01:22:08,516 Now, baby. l can explain. 1103 01:22:09,391 --> 01:22:11,689 -l knew it. -Baby, it's not what you think. 1104 01:22:11,760 --> 01:22:15,161 -Baby, it's not what you think. -Don't you even say nothing to me! 1105 01:22:15,664 --> 01:22:18,656 l can explain. Baby, it's not what you think. 1106 01:22:19,935 --> 01:22:21,300 He's a man! 1107 01:22:21,636 --> 01:22:23,035 You're sick! 1108 01:22:26,441 --> 01:22:26,474 We have to find them and stop them before they execute their evil plan. 1109 01:22:26,474 --> 01:22:30,001 We have to find them and stop them before they execute their evil plan. 1110 01:22:30,078 --> 01:22:32,569 -Wait, what do they look like? -Duh, us! 1111 01:22:32,647 --> 01:22:34,740 Afternoon, ladies. 1112 01:22:34,849 --> 01:22:37,079 The Chief would like to have a word with you. 1113 01:22:37,152 --> 01:22:40,053 My God, Tiffany. They're the Men in Black. 1114 01:22:40,755 --> 01:22:41,779 Come on. 1115 01:22:42,190 --> 01:22:45,318 -Easy, Ponch and Jon. My hair! -Let's move it along, pal. 1116 01:22:45,393 --> 01:22:46,985 -Wait a minute! -Let's go! 1117 01:22:47,062 --> 01:22:51,556 Chief, we just got confirmation that Burton's arrived at JFK. 1118 01:22:51,766 --> 01:22:55,668 l want him trailed. Give him plenty of room. l don't want anyone jumping the gun. 1119 01:22:55,737 --> 01:22:57,864 l want to get this guy red-handed. 1120 01:22:58,173 --> 01:23:00,664 -Get your hands off of me! -Let's go. 1121 01:23:01,176 --> 01:23:03,303 -Hey, easy! -Right this way, girls. 1122 01:23:04,746 --> 01:23:07,408 What the hell you guys doing with the Wilson sisters? 1123 01:23:07,482 --> 01:23:11,350 -Chief, these aren't the Wilson sisters. -No, sir. 1124 01:23:12,187 --> 01:23:14,348 Chief, check this out. 1125 01:23:16,725 --> 01:23:18,386 My God! What are you doing? 1126 01:23:18,460 --> 01:23:21,088 -That's on there pretty good. -Let her go. 1127 01:23:21,162 --> 01:23:23,062 That's nothing, Chief. 1128 01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:26,300 How about.... 1129 01:23:30,171 --> 01:23:33,072 -Those are nice. -That's enough! 1130 01:23:34,209 --> 01:23:36,734 l don't know how he did that... 1131 01:23:37,112 --> 01:23:39,239 but you can't fake these. 1132 01:23:53,495 --> 01:23:57,727 My God! Look who's here. lt's that beautiful-- 1133 01:23:57,799 --> 01:23:59,027 Save it! 1134 01:24:00,969 --> 01:24:03,961 Because of you, l had to suspend two of my best agents! 1135 01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:07,133 -Chief, l can explain. -l don't want to hear it! 1136 01:24:07,242 --> 01:24:10,006 You're just lucky we caught Burton before he could strike. 1137 01:24:10,078 --> 01:24:12,239 But Burton is not our guy! 1138 01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:14,879 Let me guess: Women's intuition? 1139 01:24:15,784 --> 01:24:16,910 You're both fired. 1140 01:24:16,985 --> 01:24:19,647 Turn in your guns and your badges. This operation is over! 1141 01:24:19,721 --> 01:24:22,815 -Come on, Chief! You can't fire us. -l just did. 1142 01:24:26,594 --> 01:24:29,062 Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourself. 1143 01:24:29,130 --> 01:24:31,621 -Look, all we got to do is-- -Wait. 1144 01:24:32,367 --> 01:24:34,858 ''We''? Kevin, this ain't about ''we.'' 1145 01:24:35,403 --> 01:24:37,598 lt's never been. lt's about you. 1146 01:24:37,672 --> 01:24:41,164 You come up with some stupid idea and l'm dumb enough to go along with it. 1147 01:24:41,242 --> 01:24:43,073 And look where it's gotten me, Kevin. 1148 01:24:43,144 --> 01:24:46,136 l just lost my wife and my job because of you. 1149 01:24:46,214 --> 01:24:49,274 So don't tell me about ''we'' no more, all right? 1150 01:24:51,486 --> 01:24:54,114 They bought it. The FBl is packing up. 1151 01:24:54,622 --> 01:24:57,591 They'll be out of our hair in a couple hours. 1152 01:24:57,659 --> 01:24:59,957 We could make the grab tonight. 1153 01:25:00,061 --> 01:25:03,258 You sure you and your friend can get the job done? 1154 01:25:05,834 --> 01:25:07,961 Would l let you down, Mr. V? 1155 01:25:12,907 --> 01:25:16,900 -Hey, man. l just want to say sorry. -Forget about it, dude. 1156 01:25:16,978 --> 01:25:21,244 No. You're right. You're absolutely right. l've been selfish. 1157 01:25:21,316 --> 01:25:26,151 l'm always dragging you into everything. l never even asked what you want to do. 1158 01:25:26,554 --> 01:25:30,149 l don't know, there's something about always having you around, that just... 1159 01:25:30,225 --> 01:25:32,625 makes me want to step up my game. 1160 01:25:32,861 --> 01:25:36,661 l guess it's because l always know you're gonna have my back. 1161 01:25:40,168 --> 01:25:41,328 Hello? 1162 01:25:43,004 --> 01:25:44,198 Thanks. 1163 01:25:46,908 --> 01:25:48,808 -Who was that? -That was Josh. 1164 01:25:48,877 --> 01:25:52,836 Turns out that Vandergeld's prints was all over the ransom note. 1165 01:25:53,948 --> 01:25:55,848 -What are you doing? -Calling the Chief. 1166 01:25:55,917 --> 01:25:59,114 No, you ain't! You said we could do this on our own, right? 1167 01:25:59,187 --> 01:26:00,654 What about backup? 1168 01:26:00,722 --> 01:26:03,714 l got you, you got me. That's all the backup we need. 1169 01:26:03,791 --> 01:26:05,918 Triple T-K-A. 1170 01:26:06,294 --> 01:26:09,491 Time to totally kick ass! 1171 01:26:17,238 --> 01:26:21,572 Three generations at the Bureau and l'm the first to get fired. 1172 01:26:22,277 --> 01:26:24,370 My dad is going to kill me! 1173 01:26:25,513 --> 01:26:27,344 Yeah? What? Who? 1174 01:26:29,350 --> 01:26:32,842 -Copeland! -Copeland, you dick! 1175 01:26:33,388 --> 01:26:35,879 You've got a lot of nerve, calling. 1176 01:26:35,990 --> 01:26:37,150 Where? 1177 01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:42,420 -You better not be wrong about this. -What? 1178 01:26:42,497 --> 01:26:45,660 -We might be getting our jobs back. -What are you talking about? 1179 01:26:45,733 --> 01:26:48,531 -We gotta go. -What do you mean, go? 1180 01:26:48,870 --> 01:26:51,668 How about this? RuPaul or Whoopi Goldberg? 1181 01:26:52,907 --> 01:26:55,501 -l told you, l'm not playing your games. -Come on! 1182 01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:15,919 -Any sign of Vandergeld? -l don't see him. 1183 01:27:15,997 --> 01:27:18,056 All right, keep an eye out for him. 1184 01:27:18,132 --> 01:27:20,327 lf it's going down, it's going to go down here. 1185 01:27:20,401 --> 01:27:22,961 Thank God! There you are! l did it. 1186 01:27:23,271 --> 01:27:26,729 -You did what? -l got you into the fashion show! 1187 01:27:27,442 --> 01:27:32,072 Brittany, did you hear that? We're in the fashion show. 1188 01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:35,108 Not if we don't get moving. Come on, let's go! 1189 01:27:35,183 --> 01:27:39,244 -Get the lead out, ladies. -l mean, it's like you forgot. 1190 01:27:42,023 --> 01:27:44,514 -You mean the Wilson sisters are in? -And we're out? 1191 01:27:44,592 --> 01:27:48,892 l'm sorry. That's just the way it is. They're hot, you're not! So deal with it. 1192 01:27:48,963 --> 01:27:51,830 -You! Straighten up that blouse, now! -That's impossible! 1193 01:27:51,899 --> 01:27:55,801 We've been on that catwalk every summer for six years straight! 1194 01:27:56,204 --> 01:27:58,331 Let's just cut to the chase. 1195 01:27:58,740 --> 01:28:02,801 Who do we have to sleep with for us to get in the show? 1196 01:28:03,177 --> 01:28:06,442 Honey, you're so barking up the wrong tree right now. Really! 1197 01:28:06,514 --> 01:28:09,449 lf you nail this, you're a shoo-in for the cover of Hamptons. 1198 01:28:09,517 --> 01:28:11,951 Darlings! Where have you been? 1199 01:28:12,920 --> 01:28:14,387 Megan! Don't! 1200 01:28:15,056 --> 01:28:16,853 This is unacceptable. 1201 01:28:17,558 --> 01:28:20,186 They just messed with the wrong girls! 1202 01:28:21,162 --> 01:28:23,153 l've been looking everywhere for you. 1203 01:28:23,231 --> 01:28:27,190 Can we get the Wilson sisters their outfits now, please? Go. 1204 01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:34,734 -Can we talk? -Of course. 1205 01:28:35,877 --> 01:28:38,209 You were incredible at the nightclub last night. 1206 01:28:38,279 --> 01:28:40,440 -Thank you. Thanks. -lncredible. 1207 01:28:40,515 --> 01:28:44,212 And Heather will be leaving after the party tonight, and l was thinking... 1208 01:28:44,285 --> 01:28:47,345 maybe you could come by around 2:00? 1209 01:28:48,556 --> 01:28:50,285 Make that 3:00 a.m. 1210 01:28:58,599 --> 01:29:00,089 You know what? 1211 01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:02,963 l don't think so. 1212 01:29:03,137 --> 01:29:04,468 Excuse me? 1213 01:29:04,839 --> 01:29:07,171 You think l'm just a booty call. 1214 01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:09,365 Well, l'm not. 1215 01:29:10,912 --> 01:29:13,005 l deserve better than that. 1216 01:29:14,148 --> 01:29:16,480 l'm tired of being your doormat. 1217 01:29:21,889 --> 01:29:23,117 Honey... 1218 01:29:24,459 --> 01:29:27,257 what makes you think you're that special? 1219 01:29:30,565 --> 01:29:32,692 -Bastard. -Excuse me. 1220 01:29:33,735 --> 01:29:34,963 Asswipe! 1221 01:29:42,343 --> 01:29:45,278 -You're going to regret that. -l'm so scared. 1222 01:29:46,447 --> 01:29:48,506 Oh, my God! Tiffany! 1223 01:29:49,851 --> 01:29:53,787 -Thank you so much, honey. -l am so proud of you. 1224 01:29:53,921 --> 01:29:57,084 Thanks. l just wish l didn't feel so crappy. 1225 01:29:57,925 --> 01:29:59,119 Honey. 1226 01:29:59,861 --> 01:30:03,160 Sometimes a man can't see when he has someone so special... 1227 01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:05,461 sitting right in front of him. 1228 01:30:06,134 --> 01:30:08,625 Are you, like, a lesbian? 1229 01:30:12,373 --> 01:30:14,705 -l better go get changed. -Okay. 1230 01:30:15,943 --> 01:30:19,071 Ladies and gentlemen, this evening we are proud to present... 1231 01:30:19,147 --> 01:30:23,345 the fall couture line, Aubrey Allure. Please take your seats. 1232 01:30:25,019 --> 01:30:26,919 -Excuse me? -You're not on the list. 1233 01:30:26,988 --> 01:30:30,151 lnvitation, my ass! They don't know how we do it. 1234 01:30:31,125 --> 01:30:33,320 -Let's just blend. -All right. 1235 01:30:52,113 --> 01:30:54,240 Go! Get going! Move it! 1236 01:31:01,088 --> 01:31:03,716 Didn't we just have this conversation? 1237 01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:07,227 Can we get these fantastic supermodels... 1238 01:31:07,295 --> 01:31:10,264 -back into their dressing rooms? -l can't believe it! 1239 01:31:44,932 --> 01:31:47,366 -They changed that quick! -Amazing! 1240 01:31:56,644 --> 01:31:59,477 These ought to get the critics' attention. 1241 01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:36,107 Second changes, everybody! Go! Now! 1242 01:32:37,118 --> 01:32:39,416 This'll be a nice little treat. 1243 01:33:04,412 --> 01:33:06,141 My God! What's happening? 1244 01:33:07,715 --> 01:33:09,307 That's not mine! 1245 01:33:10,184 --> 01:33:11,776 Let's get out of here! 1246 01:33:12,053 --> 01:33:13,315 l'm sorry! 1247 01:33:19,393 --> 01:33:22,021 Just give me your hand. lt'll be okay. 1248 01:33:25,333 --> 01:33:27,324 l'm so sorry. Oh! 1249 01:33:28,369 --> 01:33:30,166 Come here! l got you! 1250 01:33:32,640 --> 01:33:34,164 Here we go. Up! 1251 01:33:37,044 --> 01:33:38,773 -My God! -l hope she's okay. 1252 01:33:38,846 --> 01:33:40,211 l'm ruined. 1253 01:33:45,086 --> 01:33:49,250 Looks like some people just don't know when to quit. Come on, girls. 1254 01:33:50,825 --> 01:33:52,918 -Help me. -l got you. 1255 01:33:57,698 --> 01:33:59,859 Karen, what are you doing? 1256 01:33:59,934 --> 01:34:03,870 Look, someone has got to give those girls a taste of their own medicine. 1257 01:34:24,425 --> 01:34:28,452 So revolutionary! lt's so bold and so.... 1258 01:34:29,397 --> 01:34:30,864 So brilliant! 1259 01:34:56,023 --> 01:34:58,457 Everybody, they're imposters! 1260 01:35:02,930 --> 01:35:04,454 Hit the lights. 1261 01:35:29,223 --> 01:35:30,850 Where's Brittany? 1262 01:35:35,763 --> 01:35:37,253 Where are you? 1263 01:35:53,614 --> 01:35:54,876 Get down! 1264 01:36:01,422 --> 01:36:04,118 l told you you were going to regret it. 1265 01:36:04,258 --> 01:36:07,352 You hit like a bitch! Come on. 1266 01:36:08,863 --> 01:36:11,661 You run and l'll shoot you. Come on. 1267 01:36:25,079 --> 01:36:27,240 -My turn. -Mama? 1268 01:36:29,917 --> 01:36:32,078 Girl, we going to need some backup. 1269 01:36:33,888 --> 01:36:35,378 Girl, call NayNay and LaQuanda. 1270 01:36:35,456 --> 01:36:37,981 Tell them to bring the Vaseline and the straight razors. 1271 01:36:38,058 --> 01:36:39,650 These bitches are on some other shit! 1272 01:36:39,727 --> 01:36:41,319 What's going on? 1273 01:36:41,729 --> 01:36:44,596 -Don't touch my dress! -Vandergeld's got Tiffany! 1274 01:36:44,665 --> 01:36:48,101 What? No one messes with my queen! 1275 01:36:48,235 --> 01:36:50,032 Marcus! Are you okay? 1276 01:36:50,604 --> 01:36:52,333 -No. -What's wrong? 1277 01:36:52,940 --> 01:36:55,465 These damn G-strings are killing me! 1278 01:36:59,046 --> 01:37:01,139 -Freeze! -FBl. 1279 01:37:02,883 --> 01:37:05,681 You guys take care of them. We're going after Vandergeld. 1280 01:37:05,753 --> 01:37:08,278 Copeland! You're going to need this. 1281 01:37:09,824 --> 01:37:11,485 Come on, let's go. 1282 01:37:13,561 --> 01:37:15,153 FBl! Freeze! 1283 01:37:18,065 --> 01:37:19,692 Daddy, what are you doing? 1284 01:37:19,767 --> 01:37:23,032 Why don't you take your mother and your sister and go on home? 1285 01:37:23,103 --> 01:37:25,333 Daddy, why are you doing this? 1286 01:37:25,406 --> 01:37:27,897 Daddy didn't tell you? He's broke. 1287 01:37:27,975 --> 01:37:29,806 What do you mean, broke? 1288 01:37:29,877 --> 01:37:32,812 Like Martha Stewart broke or MC Hammer broke? 1289 01:37:33,147 --> 01:37:35,911 -MC Hammer broke! -No! 1290 01:37:36,317 --> 01:37:41,118 l've been funneling money out of the charity into a private account, just to get us by! 1291 01:37:43,824 --> 01:37:45,792 Are you filming this? 1292 01:37:47,061 --> 01:37:49,461 l'll give you something to shoot! 1293 01:37:51,365 --> 01:37:53,890 -Get out of my way! -l can't do that. 1294 01:37:58,639 --> 01:37:59,867 Drop it! 1295 01:38:04,545 --> 01:38:07,571 l got you, man. Man, we'll get that stain out. Don't even worry. 1296 01:38:07,648 --> 01:38:09,013 Don't move! 1297 01:38:09,583 --> 01:38:12,313 Warren Vandergeld, you are under arrest! 1298 01:38:14,488 --> 01:38:18,754 l just want to tell you, l appreciate what you did. That was real brave of you. 1299 01:38:18,826 --> 01:38:23,763 l had no choice. l couldn't let them take my one true love away. 1300 01:38:25,699 --> 01:38:28,827 Hey, dude. l'm not what you think l am. 1301 01:38:30,537 --> 01:38:34,166 Baby, we all got secrets. That's okay. 1302 01:38:40,648 --> 01:38:45,312 Are you telling me that you are not.... 1303 01:38:45,419 --> 01:38:47,649 -Yeah. l'm not a woman. -White? 1304 01:38:48,455 --> 01:38:52,186 The deception! The betrayal, man! You deceived me! 1305 01:38:52,259 --> 01:38:54,750 Calm down. l'm an FBl agent. l was uncovering a-- 1306 01:38:54,828 --> 01:38:56,318 Negro, please! 1307 01:38:57,197 --> 01:39:00,291 Didn't somebody tell you this was an all-white party? 1308 01:39:00,367 --> 01:39:02,995 Someone get this jigaboo away from me! 1309 01:39:03,237 --> 01:39:04,704 Are you okay? 1310 01:39:05,039 --> 01:39:07,234 Yes, l'm fine. Thank you. 1311 01:39:07,608 --> 01:39:10,668 So, do l get to see my knight in shining armor? 1312 01:39:11,045 --> 01:39:12,808 -Well.... -Get a leg! 1313 01:39:14,281 --> 01:39:15,646 Get off me! 1314 01:39:15,816 --> 01:39:18,080 What do you mean? l'm going to let you have it! 1315 01:39:18,152 --> 01:39:20,313 -You ain't never met nobody like me! -lt's me! 1316 01:39:20,387 --> 01:39:23,379 You don't know who you messing with! My name's Gina! 1317 01:39:23,457 --> 01:39:24,685 lt's me. 1318 01:39:32,266 --> 01:39:34,757 This is some Jerry Springer shit! 1319 01:39:37,171 --> 01:39:41,870 Once again, you guys managed to do everything l told you not to do. 1320 01:39:42,576 --> 01:39:45,977 You caused over $250,000 worth of damage. 1321 01:39:46,246 --> 01:39:48,043 Two people were shot. 1322 01:39:49,616 --> 01:39:53,416 But at least you got the right guy. 1323 01:39:53,787 --> 01:39:56,153 -Good work. -Thanks a lot, Chief. 1324 01:39:56,223 --> 01:39:58,748 But we couldn't have done it without Gomez and Harper. 1325 01:39:58,826 --> 01:40:02,125 All right, l'll see you all in the office tomorrow. 1326 01:40:03,263 --> 01:40:04,855 Good work, guys. 1327 01:40:06,333 --> 01:40:09,302 Who will be featured on the cover of Hamptons Magazine? 1328 01:40:09,370 --> 01:40:11,964 l have to take care of some business. 1329 01:40:12,172 --> 01:40:14,037 See you guys on Monday. 1330 01:40:14,108 --> 01:40:17,475 So, who do you think wore those panties you were sniffing? 1331 01:40:17,544 --> 01:40:19,136 Kevin or Marcus? 1332 01:40:19,380 --> 01:40:22,872 -Gomez, l told you. l was looking for DNA. -Oh, yeah. 1333 01:40:24,418 --> 01:40:26,818 What are you laughing at, ''Denzel''? 1334 01:40:26,887 --> 01:40:29,481 ''Oh, what a beautiful chocolate man!'' 1335 01:40:31,425 --> 01:40:32,983 You guys got some work to do? 1336 01:40:33,060 --> 01:40:35,290 l'm Denise Porter. Good night. 1337 01:40:41,602 --> 01:40:44,833 l'm Kevin Copeland. l'm an FBl agent. 1338 01:40:46,473 --> 01:40:48,964 l make $30,000 a year after taxes. 1339 01:40:49,276 --> 01:40:52,973 l don't drive a Bentley and l don't have a house on a hill. 1340 01:40:53,480 --> 01:40:56,040 But l'd really like to take you out. 1341 01:40:57,117 --> 01:41:00,245 Are you kidding me? Any man... 1342 01:41:02,423 --> 01:41:05,415 who would jump in front of a bullet for me... 1343 01:41:06,326 --> 01:41:08,726 can definitely take me on a date. 1344 01:41:14,068 --> 01:41:16,536 -Come on, girl, let's go. -Wait, could l just please-- 1345 01:41:16,603 --> 01:41:20,630 -l have nothing more to say to you. -l know. Just listen to me, please. 1346 01:41:20,741 --> 01:41:22,606 Gina, l lied to you. 1347 01:41:23,410 --> 01:41:25,401 l've hid things from you. 1348 01:41:25,679 --> 01:41:29,206 But l have never cheated on you. But l am guilty. 1349 01:41:30,451 --> 01:41:33,909 l'm guilty of paying more attention to my job than l do my wife. 1350 01:41:33,987 --> 01:41:37,354 l'm guilty of not appreciating all the little things you do for me. 1351 01:41:37,424 --> 01:41:39,551 Like getting your hair done. 1352 01:41:40,561 --> 01:41:44,190 Wearing that sweet-smelling Chanel cologne l love so much. 1353 01:41:44,331 --> 01:41:49,200 But my biggest crime is that l didn't tell you l loved you every single day. 1354 01:41:50,504 --> 01:41:54,338 -You're not going to let him off that easy. -Will you shut up? 1355 01:41:58,479 --> 01:41:59,844 l love you. 1356 01:42:07,221 --> 01:42:08,381 A wheelchair? 1357 01:42:08,455 --> 01:42:11,652 Yes, but the feeling will come back, l promise. 1358 01:42:11,859 --> 01:42:14,794 Making my way downtown Walking fast 1359 01:42:14,862 --> 01:42:16,955 Faces pass And I'm home bound 1360 01:42:17,030 --> 01:42:18,497 Backup, Tony. 1361 01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:21,261 Hey, girls. 1362 01:42:25,372 --> 01:42:29,672 So you guys were pretending to be them the entire time? 1363 01:42:29,743 --> 01:42:32,644 Yes, we were. But we was only doing our job. 1364 01:42:33,180 --> 01:42:35,648 l hope you guys aren't too pissed off at us. 1365 01:42:35,716 --> 01:42:37,308 We're so bummed! 1366 01:42:39,553 --> 01:42:42,078 We liked Brittany and Tiffany... 1367 01:42:42,189 --> 01:42:44,783 so much more when you were them. 1368 01:42:45,792 --> 01:42:47,521 So much more! 1369 01:42:48,629 --> 01:42:51,996 So l guess this means we won't be hanging out any more? 1370 01:42:52,065 --> 01:42:54,932 Don't say that. Of course, we will hang out. 1371 01:42:55,002 --> 01:42:57,732 Oh, yeah. We'll all get together and we're gonna go... 1372 01:42:57,804 --> 01:43:00,238 shopping! 1373 01:43:00,239 --> 01:43:07,813 RIP BY PSER MALDONADO URUGUAY