1
00:00:01,407 --> 00:00:50,408
Danske Tekster: Made By Larsen^

2
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,407
Where's Manny?

3
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:28,815
Tell him the ice cream man is here.

4
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,501
Freeze. Hammer time.

5
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,372
Can we get down to business?

6
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,314
You got the money?

7
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,054
Tell him.

8
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,567
He said that
he's not gonna give you one red cent...

9
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,103
until you tell him
what flavor the ice cream is.

10
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,571
Vanilla. That's what you ordered.

11
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,002
-Tell him.
-Okay.

12
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,376
lt's all about the Benjamins, baby!

13
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,046
Bring in the stuff.

14
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:43,053
-Arnold Schwarzenegger, funny man!
-He's funny like that!

15
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,698
There is your ice cream.

16
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:53,097
Tell him. l see coming. He say....

17
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,871
l tell him, l say Jesús.

18
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,354
He coming, and he say....

19
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,960
-Tell him.
-He say...

20
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,700
FBl. You're under arrest.

21
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,565
-He's going to run.
-No, he ain't.

22
00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,126
You owe me $1 .

23
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,940
Where are you going, big boy?

24
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:44,348
Goddamn. Now l'm going to bust your ass.

25
00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,761
ls that all your big ass got?

26
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,936
-Enough.
-Kevin.

27
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,641
All right, you two over here. Right now.

28
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,837
l swear l'll shoot both of you.

29
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,985
Damn, Marcus, why you always
got to pick the biggest dude?

30
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,688
l don't know. l like a challenge.

31
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,331
See, what did l tell you?

32
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:31,330
We did it, right? Didn't l tell you?

33
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,202
-No help. No backup.
-You the man.

34
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,402
We'll get all the credit.
The biggest bust of our career.

35
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,272
400 keys of pure....

36
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,182
-Vanilla ice cream?
-What?

37
00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,645
My man! Where's the drugs?

38
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,255
l know nothing about drugs.

39
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:56,455
l sell ice cream. Strawberry. Vanilla.

40
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:59,130
Neapolitan, for example.

41
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:06,065
Tell Manny his ice cream delivery is here.

42
00:05:10,943 --> 00:05:12,672
Never mind. Wrong store.

43
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,807
FBl. Freeze!

44
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,787
-Marcus?
-l'm good.

45
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,365
-They're moving.
-Let's go.

46
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,467
-Which one?
-l don't know.

47
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,248
-God.
-Damn.

48
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:54,475
l told you we should've called for backup.

49
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,723
You know the Chief's gonna kill us, right?

50
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,655
You know the Chief's gonna kill us, right?

51
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,425
Let me give you guys a little tip.

52
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:05,497
lf you're going to
operate outside the channels...

53
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:08,466
do the whole renegade cop thing...

54
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:13,032
you might want to make sure
that you get the right guy.

55
00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:17,866
Chief, we almost had the guy.

56
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,203
Our intelligence was just a little off.

57
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,406
Wait a minute. lntelligence?

58
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:26,251
Look around you, Copeland.
There's nothing intelligent about this.

59
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,719
Now l'm tired of your escapades.
l want them to stop.

60
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:31,723
The last thing l need is
to be the laughingstock of the Bureau.

61
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,383
And furthermore, the--

62
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,725
Hold on. Hello? Baby, l can't talk.

63
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:40,129
The Chief is chewing my ass right now.
l got to call you back. Bye.

64
00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:43,259
-Sorry, Chief.
-As l was saying--

65
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:50,874
Gordon here.

66
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,843
Yes, he is.

67
00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,947
-lt's for you.
-Thank you.

68
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:03,011
-Baby, l'm still with the Chief.
-No respect.

69
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,114
No, he's really not happy now.

70
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:09,025
Okay, l got to go. Bye. Thanks, Chief.

71
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,597
You guys are.... Get this place cleaned up.

72
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:19,062
l expect to have a full report
on my desk tomorrow.

73
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,106
-Yes, sir.
-And in the meantime...

74
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:24,337
l'm checking with the Bureau
to see if they got any openings...

75
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,401
in lraq.

76
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:34,516
The Dynamic Duo strikes again.
Way to go, Baskin and Robbin.

77
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,353
Or is it Häag and Dazs?

78
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,794
Häag and Dazs. You wrote that?

79
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,797
That's good, l like that.

80
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:49,733
-Later, Häag.
-Adiós, Dazs.

81
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,401
-l hate those guys, dude.
-Oh, God.

82
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:58,106
All right.
Well, let's get this place cleaned up.

83
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,645
-All right.
-Okay, so, you do the floor.

84
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:03,739
Clean all the ice cream up
and l'll go warm the car up.

85
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,154
Okay. So much for a hot meal.

86
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,333
-Hey, baby.
-Don't ''hey, baby'' me.

87
00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:27,839
l can't believe you have me
sitting here all night worried about you.

88
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,534
All night? Baby...

89
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,572
it's only 8:00.

90
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:36,612
Look, after work, me and Kevin went
down to the bar and had a couple of drinks.

91
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:40,379
l know. l called the bar.
They said you left at 7:45.

92
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:43,889
l checked MapQuest. lt only takes
six minutes to get there from here.

93
00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:46,618
So, if you got somebody on the side,
you need to tell me.

94
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,092
Baby, listen to what you just say.

95
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:53,393
MapQuest said it takes six minutes
to get here. l got here in eight.

96
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,729
Which means there's two minutes
unaccounted for.

97
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:59,760
lf l was cheating on you, don't you think
l'd need more than two minutes?

98
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,539
You know what?
l ain't going to deal with this.

99
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:07,136
l'm tired, okay?
l had a long day at work. l got shot at.

100
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,046
See, that is exactly what l'm talking about.

101
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,777
We don't communicate.

102
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:15,651
-Okay, fine. You want to communicate?
-Yes.

103
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:19,614
Come on. Let's communicate. Okay?

104
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,686
Okay. Let's start with last week.

105
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:23,819
Last week.

106
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,388
You and l were supposed
to go shopping together. We get to the mall.

107
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:30,526
l buy this beautiful dress,
l get my hair done.

108
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:35,270
You don't say anything. l don't know,
maybe you just don't want to....

109
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,774
Did you hear me just now?

110
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:42,407
Tell me what l said.

111
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,346
l heard everything. You was communicating.

112
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,284
Don't play with me right now.
l am not in the mood.

113
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:50,083
l cannot believe you came home late
and then you start....

114
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:54,490
Marcus! You are falling asleep again.
l am talking to you.

115
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,654
l wasn't asleep, l was closing my eyes
and visualizing your words.

116
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,630
Oh, really? Visualizing?

117
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:02,826
Why don't you paint me a picture
of what l just said?

118
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,029
-Hold on.
-You know why?

119
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,540
Because you are
falling asleep again. Marcus!

120
00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:17,114
We received this from Mr. Andrew Wilson,
CEO of Wilson Cruise Lines.

121
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:22,087
It was delivered to his home.
The girls in the photo are his daughters...

122
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,222
and heiresses to the Wilson fortune.

123
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,919
We believe
they are the kidnapper's next victims.

124
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:33,296
Mr. Wilson has given us permission
to shadow his daughters.

125
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,596
We're going to set up surveillance...

126
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,226
and if the kidnapper strikes...

127
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,568
this time we will be ready.

128
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:45,474
Now, the Wilson sisters will be flying
into JFK this morning.

129
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:48,543
So who's going to pick them up?

130
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,578
Obviously, everyone has read
the profile on the girls.

131
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,722
Still, somebody's got to do it.

132
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,753
l don't think this is a good idea.

133
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:03,818
l don't care. We deserve to be on this case
just as much as Gomez and Harper.

134
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:06,729
l know, but we don't want
to interrupt the man in a briefing.

135
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,097
Well, somebody got to stand up to him.

136
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,170
-Chief.
-What?

137
00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:15,102
-Marcus has something he want to tell you.
-What?

138
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,302
Chief, we just want to know
if we could get on the case.

139
00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:19,469
You're on.

140
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:24,614
The boys over at lntel seem to think
that the kidnapper's a guy...

141
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,946
named Ted Burton.

142
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,111
lt says Burton was a partner of Wilson's...

143
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,213
and some other associates
in some business venture that failed.

144
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:34,885
Says he spent time in the Federal pen
and lost his fortune.

145
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,987
Guy's been MlA since his release and those
dates coincide with the first kidnappings.

146
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:42,057
-What do you think?
-l think this babysitting gig sucks.

147
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,465
Dude, relax.

148
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,027
Look, man.
All we got to do is pick these chicks up...

149
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:49,700
drop their ass off in the Hamptons,
then we back in the Chief's good graces.

150
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:51,743
l didn't join the FBl to become a nanny.

151
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:53,938
l want to be on the street
where the action is.

152
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,779
Okay, Blackie Chan, and you'll get there.
Can we just do this first, please?

153
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:01,115
-All right.
-You didn't put dairy in this, did you?

154
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,014
-No.
-Because you know l'm lactose intolerant.

155
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,058
Last time, l barely made it to the bathroom.

156
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,593
Why would l want to disturb your stomach?

157
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,728
There goes your girls.

158
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,063
Come on, man. Let's do this.

159
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:26,171
-Hi, l'm Kevin Copeland. This is--
-We already gave to the United Negro Fund.

160
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,272
-Wait. Hold on.
-Excuse us.

161
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,878
We're actually here
to escort you ladies to the Hamptons.

162
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,421
The bags are on the plane.
Take Baby and clean out his bag.

163
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,653
He didn't have his colonic
and he like pooped everywhere.

164
00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:52,829
-What's this?
-Baby got to ride in the car seat.

165
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,269
Where the hell am l supposed to sit?

166
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,706
This ain't right.

167
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,921
Man, you guys sure got a lot of bags
for a weekend.

168
00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:17,525
-This isn't a weekend.
-lt's the weekend.

169
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,225
Labor Day in the Hamptons.
The last weekend of the social season.

170
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,358
Only the hottest people
are going to be there.

171
00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:27,371
And only the hottest of the hottest
are going to make it onto the cover...

172
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:30,408
of Hamptons Magazine. And this is our year.

173
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:35,046
Open the window.
Baby likes a little fresh breeze.

174
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:38,606
l just hope the Vandergeld sisters'
private jet crashes on the way there.

175
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,619
-Oh, my God, Brittany!
-You were thinking it!

176
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:43,985
-l know, but you said it.
-l know.

177
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:47,492
You know Heather totally hates you
because you slept with her boyfriend.

178
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,825
My God. So what?
l sleep with everyone's boyfriend.

179
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,762
ls everybody all right?

180
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:34,429
My God! Your lip.

181
00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,337
My God! Your nose.

182
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,012
Marcus, are you okay?

183
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,676
-l'm cool.
-Baby's in a wreck!

184
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:48,410
l can't believe...

185
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:53,186
you think we're going to go to the Hamptons
with my face looking like that.

186
00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:56,823
lt's really not that bad.
Just get some makeup and cover it up.

187
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,160
Put makeup on this?

188
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,024
l am so fricking pissed.

189
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,033
My God, this is like the worst day of my life.

190
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,039
l went to go get my brows done...

191
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,234
and l told her to make me look like J-Lo.

192
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,937
And then that fricking Russian toad
made me look...

193
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:15,242
like Liza Minnelli or something.

194
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:19,006
Oh, my God! l'm going to have a B.F.

195
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:20,818
Wait. What's a B.F.?

196
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:22,911
She's going to have a bitch fit!

197
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:25,684
-You better get out of here.
-l am going to call your boss.

198
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,023
-You don't have to do that.
-No, l'll call the owner of the company.

199
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:32,154
Come on, just take it easy.
Look, we can work this out.

200
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,128
-l'm going to write a letter.
-No.

201
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,794
Please don't write a letter.
Look, just calm down.

202
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,395
You guys just stay here.
Stay here the whole weekend.

203
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:43,600
Do whatever you want. But whatever you do,
do not leave this room.

204
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:47,703
Don't leave this room, because if you do,
everyone's gonna see those hideous scars.

205
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,179
Scar?

206
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:53,878
-My God! Permanent damage.
-My life is over.

207
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:58,121
lf l lose this job with these good benefits,
Gina's gonna kill me.

208
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,454
-Well?
-They won't go.

209
00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:06,930
-What do you mean, they won't go?
-They won't go.

210
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:10,298
Marcus, this weekend in the Hamptons
means everything for these girls.

211
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:14,772
They won't show up with a scratched-up
nose and a busted lip for nobody.

212
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,144
That's cool.

213
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:24,272
What are you doing?

214
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,784
l'm just going to kill myself before
the Chief does.

215
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:28,410
-Bye-bye, Kevin.
-Come on.

216
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,148
Don't do that. Stop being ridiculous.

217
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:32,349
l'm not being ridiculous. You heard the man.

218
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:34,119
One more screw-up, and we're through.

219
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,219
-l know, man.
-See? That's probably him right now.

220
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:39,989
Hey, what's up, Chief?

221
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,329
There's something me and Kevin
want to tell you.

222
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,631
Yeah, Chief? Hey.

223
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:48,171
Me and Marcus just wanted to thank you
for the opportunity, man.

224
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,707
No, we didn't.

225
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,606
Yeah, we really appreciate it.

226
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,975
They wanted to stop off
and get something to eat.

227
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:55,308
He's lying to--

228
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,315
Two, three hours max.

229
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,278
Trust me.

230
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:06,688
lf l don't have them there in three hours,
l'll cut them off and mail them to you myself.

231
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,660
-All right, take care. Bye.
-He lied, Chief.

232
00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:14,790
Why did you do that? You know them girls
aren't going to be there.

233
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,527
They'll be there.

234
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,260
Hey, Josh.

235
00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:22,970
How'd you like to be part of the team?

236
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,966
Where are the white women at?

237
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,306
Let's do this.

238
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,459
He's right. Make them bigger.

239
00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:49,895
Chief. They're here.

240
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,090
Chief. They're here.

241
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:55,691
All right, the girls are yours.
Stick with them. Don't blow your cover.

242
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:56,756
Yes, sir.

243
00:18:57,069 --> 00:19:00,766
-Are you sure this is going to work?
-Just trust me. Follow my lead.

244
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:23,960
What's up, money? You got a problem?
What you looking at my ass for?

245
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:25,894
No, yo, hold my poodle.

246
00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:28,831
What's up? Y'all got a problem?
Y'all want some of this?

247
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,699
You want some of this, punk? What, boy?

248
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:34,102
-l'll take the both of you.
-Cut it out.

249
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:37,140
-He was looking at my ass like l'm a girl.
-You are a girl!

250
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:41,043
And you better start acting like one
or you're going to be an unemployed girl.

251
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:44,105
Damn. l'd sure like to cut that cake.

252
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:45,876
Here, yo, hold this!

253
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,885
Hey, you trying to look at my lumps?

254
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,046
l'll pull off my G-string and handle mine.

255
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,215
-l'll handle mine.
-Kevin, it's Gomez.

256
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,789
Welcome to the Royal Hamptons Hotel.

257
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,762
-The bags are in the car, José.
-The name is Gomez.

258
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,492
-Whatever.
-Yeah, great. Here. Take Baby.

259
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,194
Clean out his bag.
Poor thing just pooped everywhere.

260
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,464
And teach him how to say,
''Quiero Taco Bell.''

261
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,302
-Thanks a lot, Rico Suave. Grazie.
-Thanks, Julio.

262
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:11,035
Right away, ma'am.

263
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:23,577
Sweetie, you've got to slow up
with those Cosmos.

264
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:28,455
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in.

265
00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:31,020
Sorry. They're new.

266
00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:35,163
-Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job.
-They feel so real.

267
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:40,695
Hi. Yeah, l just...
l need a credit card, please.

268
00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:42,069
And some lD, please.

269
00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:47,777
Credit card? lD?

270
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:51,948
l'm so fricking pissed.

271
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,417
-Ma'am, l--
-First of all...

272
00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:57,683
l go to Dr. Dorfman.
He totally messes up my nose job.

273
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,816
l ask him to make me
look like Gwyneth Paltrow.

274
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:05,222
l get off the surgery table
looking like freaking Shrek.

275
00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:09,927
Then l get here, and Mr. Harper...

276
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:14,029
makes me feel like
l'm some dumb blonde with fake boobs...

277
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,241
going to a Hugh Hefner party.

278
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,242
No. l didn't mean to offend you.

279
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,574
-lt's just protocol.
-l'm going to have a B.F.

280
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:22,944
My God. She's going to have a bitch fit.

281
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:26,849
No. Don't have a B.F. now--

282
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:30,615
l want to speak to your supervisor.
Better yet, l'm going to write a letter.

283
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:33,453
-Miss, there's no reason to--
-You are in big trouble.

284
00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:36,426
''Dear Mr...

285
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,023
''Royal Hampton.

286
00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:44,234
''l am a white woman...

287
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,864
-''in America.''
-Ladies, is there a problem here?

288
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:49,463
-Yes.
-No.

289
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,940
There's no problem.

290
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:54,570
These are two of our VlP guests.

291
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:57,108
lssue them keys. lmmediately.

292
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,848
VlP. Learn your acronyms.

293
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:05,316
-What a sweetheart.
-Here you are. Enjoy your stay.

294
00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:09,554
Has anyone ever told you
you look just like Denzel Washington?

295
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:15,423
Yes, actually l have heard it once or twice.

296
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:20,735
What a beautiful chocolate man.

297
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,304
Beautiful. God.

298
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:28,570
-That was close.
-Yeah.

299
00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:32,516
-Are they waving at us?
-l don't know.

300
00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:35,519
-What are we going to do?
-Just act friendly.

301
00:22:38,056 --> 00:22:39,853
My God.

302
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:46,628
Well, don't act like you don't know us.

303
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:52,426
Karen, Lisa, Tori.

304
00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:54,696
Oh, my God.

305
00:22:55,674 --> 00:22:58,609
l haven't seen you in forever.

306
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,204
lt's only been a year.

307
00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:03,179
Did you do something different
to your hair?

308
00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:05,112
-No.
-You gain weight?

309
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:09,879
-No.
-l know! You just had a birthday.

310
00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:15,319
-Yeah.
-Totally. Total fire sign. l knew it.

311
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,294
-l totally knew it.
-Wait a minute.

312
00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:19,887
There is definitely...

313
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:22,700
something different about the two of you.

314
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,502
Collagen.

315
00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:34,710
You little witch. How did you know?

316
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:39,683
Duh, it's totally obvious.
Your lips went from Cameron Diaz to Jay-Z.

317
00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:45,451
You got taller, too.

318
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,624
We got our knees done.

319
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:52,861
You can do that?

320
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,421
-You should do that.
-Yes.

321
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:56,967
Well, it was really good
seeing you ladies. Bye.

322
00:23:57,035 --> 00:23:59,503
Excuse me.
Where do you think you're going?

323
00:24:00,138 --> 00:24:01,571
To go freshen up.

324
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,371
The Hamptons Magazine reception
just started, so let's hit it.

325
00:24:09,714 --> 00:24:11,409
Hey, check it out.

326
00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:14,281
Are those the Wilson sisters?

327
00:24:14,352 --> 00:24:18,789
More like the Wilt Chamberlain sisters.
l never noticed how big they are.

328
00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:21,620
But l'd still bone.

329
00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:25,360
My God. There's Heath.

330
00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:32,260
Dude, are you hitting Karen Googlestein,
the soap heiress, too?

331
00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,134
How do you keep that shit dangling?

332
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,766
l keep telling her l'm going to break
up with my girl.

333
00:24:36,842 --> 00:24:38,742
You better hope Heather doesn't find out.

334
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,141
She won't.

335
00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:43,245
At least until l wrap up this big deal
with her father.

336
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,680
Hey, Mr. V.

337
00:24:49,054 --> 00:24:52,114
And look, there they are.
The fen-phen twins.

338
00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:54,257
They're hot.

339
00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:56,353
What, are you blind?

340
00:24:56,428 --> 00:24:58,487
That's Heather and Megan Vandergeld.

341
00:24:58,563 --> 00:25:01,623
Your sworn enemies since you were like,
l don't know. Eight?

342
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:04,635
Did l say hot? l meant not.

343
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,665
-l totally hate them.
-Did you guys hear about Megan?

344
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:11,869
She got stopped by security at Saks
trying to pull a Winona.

345
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:20,342
God. Come on.

346
00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,882
-This is going to be fun.
-Move.

347
00:25:29,394 --> 00:25:33,626
Look who just flew in from the slums
of Beverly Hills.

348
00:25:33,965 --> 00:25:36,160
lt's The Beverly Ho-billies.

349
00:25:38,803 --> 00:25:42,239
-Squeeze me?
-No, you didn't.

350
00:25:42,807 --> 00:25:45,640
l'm sorry, but we just saw your new video.

351
00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:48,372
They had a screening
over at Saks Fifth Avenue...

352
00:25:48,446 --> 00:25:50,346
in the security office.

353
00:25:51,650 --> 00:25:53,550
A klept-ho-maniac.

354
00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:58,888
Your mother shops at Saks.

355
00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:00,883
What?

356
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:07,521
My God. You want to talk about mothers?

357
00:26:08,633 --> 00:26:12,069
You want to talk about mothers.

358
00:26:12,137 --> 00:26:14,970
lt's mother time. Okay.

359
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,601
Your mother's so dumb
she went to Dr. Dre for a Pap smear.

360
00:26:18,677 --> 00:26:22,374
''Something's wrong, Dr. Dre.
My coochie's doing a beatbox.''

361
00:26:22,447 --> 00:26:24,677
Yeah? Well, your mother is so stupid...

362
00:26:24,749 --> 00:26:27,149
she exercises when she could just get...

363
00:26:27,218 --> 00:26:29,209
liposuction or something.

364
00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:33,814
Your mother's so old that her breast milk
is powdered. You breast-feed like this.

365
00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:38,486
Your mother is so, like....

366
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:40,663
She's so....

367
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,590
Megan, you go.

368
00:26:44,569 --> 00:26:46,059
Your mother is so stupid...

369
00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:49,038
that she goes to Barneys Rooftop
Deck Restaurant for lunch...

370
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:53,134
and orders a niçoise salad and calls it
a ''ni-coise'' salad.

371
00:26:53,211 --> 00:26:55,008
''Ni-coise'' salad, right?

372
00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:57,172
Your mother's ass is so hairy...

373
00:26:57,248 --> 00:27:01,480
it looks like Don King's about to pop out
and say, ''Only in America!''

374
00:27:01,987 --> 00:27:03,716
Your mother's so stupid...

375
00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:07,554
that she goes into Gucci
and she tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff.

376
00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:11,722
Megan, Heather. Come on now, girls.
ls this any way to speak to your guests?

377
00:27:12,697 --> 00:27:14,824
Brittany and Tiffany Wilson.

378
00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:18,528
l haven't seen you since you were smaller.

379
00:27:18,937 --> 00:27:21,963
Yeah. Well, we're all grown up now.

380
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,735
Yeah, l can see that.

381
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:27,005
Ladies, l fully expect
to see you later at the White Party.

382
00:27:27,078 --> 00:27:30,707
-l think it's gonna be the best one ever.
-We'll be there.

383
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:34,615
-Take care. Bye. Good seeing you again.
-Bye, Mr. V.

384
00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:38,151
This isn't over yet.

385
00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:42,556
This is a long weekend.
You better watch your back.

386
00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:47,226
-Ladies.
-Whatever.

387
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,029
l can't believe you guys just did that
to the Vandergelds.

388
00:27:52,103 --> 00:27:55,732
You know, they could take you
off the scene just like that.

389
00:27:55,807 --> 00:27:59,903
-Yeah, but it was so cool, you guys.
-So cool.

390
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,709
lsn't that Denise Porter from NY1 News?

391
00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:09,184
Yeah, l'm working on getting you
an interview with her.

392
00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:10,687
Great for your image.

393
00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:13,849
l think l'll go over there
and introduce myself.

394
00:28:14,092 --> 00:28:17,289
-Do you think now's a good time?
-Actually, it's a perfect time.

395
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:20,593
-Wouldn't want to miss a photo op.
-Never that.

396
00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:21,927
-See you later.
-Have fun.

397
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,400
-What's wrong? Did you just get cramps?
-Yeah.

398
00:28:24,469 --> 00:28:27,632
-Do you need a tamp?
-Heating pad?

399
00:28:27,772 --> 00:28:31,105
-Hors d'oeuvres?
-Thank you, Wolfgang Paco.

400
00:28:32,243 --> 00:28:34,803
Would you give that to Baby? Thank you.

401
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:37,909
-Bye, Chico. Vamonos.
-Bon appétit.

402
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,040
l'll have one.

403
00:28:41,119 --> 00:28:44,816
-Hi, my name is--
-Brittany Wilson, of course.

404
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,257
Yeah. How'd you know? Brittany Wilson.

405
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,187
Well, it's my job to know.

406
00:28:50,261 --> 00:28:55,062
Your publicist, Tori, has been calling me
nonstop about setting up an interview.

407
00:28:55,133 --> 00:29:00,002
lf l would've known you were so beautiful,
l probably would've called you myself.

408
00:29:01,106 --> 00:29:05,770
Well, if l wasn't mistaken, l'd think
you were flirting with me, Miss Wilson.

409
00:29:07,378 --> 00:29:11,576
Me? Flirting with you? A girl? Never.

410
00:29:13,151 --> 00:29:15,119
Sorry, honey. Only beef.

411
00:29:16,554 --> 00:29:20,718
-Boy, you're really strong, aren't you?
-lt's from all that protein.

412
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,961
My God. These are delicious.

413
00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:29,896
You might want to slow down
on the cheese.

414
00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:35,202
You mean, there's cheese,
as in dairy cheese?

415
00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:38,670
Yeah. Unless you know another way
to make quiche.

416
00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:47,483
-Ladies, l think l got to go to the bathroom.
-Good. We'll come with.

417
00:29:47,552 --> 00:29:50,419
No, l can handle it myself.
Thank you, though.

418
00:29:50,488 --> 00:29:53,082
Like we're going to let you go alone.

419
00:29:54,025 --> 00:29:56,016
Time for touchups anyway.

420
00:29:57,395 --> 00:29:58,794
Move, bitch.

421
00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:18,647
My God, you guys.
Heath is here. What should l do?

422
00:30:18,716 --> 00:30:20,707
l don't understand what you see in him.

423
00:30:20,785 --> 00:30:23,515
He's an out-of-work actor
living in a share house.

424
00:30:23,588 --> 00:30:25,647
And he drives a 3 Series BMW.

425
00:30:28,993 --> 00:30:32,258
Tori, l really think that you need
to cut Heath a little bit of slack.

426
00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:35,390
His aunt died three years ago
and he really needs new headshots.

427
00:30:35,466 --> 00:30:38,765
He's just going through
a really rough time right now. Okay?

428
00:30:46,277 --> 00:30:47,539
You okay?

429
00:30:50,048 --> 00:30:52,278
Everything all right in there?

430
00:30:53,051 --> 00:30:55,417
lt's fine. Shit.

431
00:30:55,653 --> 00:30:58,816
Tiff, we're just going to
meet you outside. Okay?

432
00:31:04,429 --> 00:31:05,760
Love you.

433
00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:11,297
Man, it may be summertime
in the Hamptons...

434
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,862
but it is snowing up in here.

435
00:31:16,674 --> 00:31:19,700
Tony, hand me my boots
because l'm about to go skiing.

436
00:31:20,778 --> 00:31:24,373
-Great game last night, Latrell.
-That's what l do, baby.

437
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,017
Now that's what l'm talking about.

438
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,059
A white girl with a black girl's ass.

439
00:31:40,098 --> 00:31:41,963
l'm taking that home to Mama.

440
00:31:44,302 --> 00:31:45,633
Pardon me.

441
00:31:46,170 --> 00:31:48,604
Santa must've come early this year...

442
00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:51,842
because you were first on my Christmas list.

443
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:53,873
There it is, right there.

444
00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:58,143
l want to know. Are you naughty or nice?

445
00:31:59,817 --> 00:32:01,842
Sorry, l'm not interested.

446
00:32:03,454 --> 00:32:07,390
-l'll take that as naughty.
-Naughty.

447
00:32:07,725 --> 00:32:09,454
You know what they say:

448
00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:12,985
''Once you go black,
you're going to need a wheelchair.''

449
00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:19,669
-Okay, call me later.
-As l was saying....

450
00:32:19,871 --> 00:32:23,739
Look, King Kong. Why don't you take you
and your 1980 pickup lines...

451
00:32:23,808 --> 00:32:27,574
climb the Empire State Building,
beat on your big old monkey chest...

452
00:32:27,645 --> 00:32:29,977
and then jump off? Excuse me.

453
00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:32,439
Hold up, hold on now. l'll get the--

454
00:32:32,517 --> 00:32:35,418
-This is no joke, man.
-Get your hands off me, man.

455
00:32:37,488 --> 00:32:41,857
She don't know it yet,
but that's wifey right there.

456
00:32:42,193 --> 00:32:44,661
Hello, everybody. For just one second.

457
00:32:44,729 --> 00:32:47,857
I'm Warren Vandergeld.
I'm sure most of you know me.

458
00:32:47,932 --> 00:32:50,628
And I just want to remind you
that tonight's the night.

459
00:32:50,702 --> 00:32:54,399
The Vandergeld Foundation's
annual charity auction.

460
00:32:57,542 --> 00:32:59,305
So bring your checkbook...

461
00:32:59,377 --> 00:33:02,676
dress to impress,
and we'll see you there. Have fun.

462
00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:08,141
-So what are you going to wear?
-This?

463
00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:14,249
You're so funny.

464
00:33:16,260 --> 00:33:18,160
Ladies, you know what this means.

465
00:33:18,229 --> 00:33:19,719
Shopping!

466
00:33:24,802 --> 00:33:28,704
And now, the Number One
most requested song on WQQR....

467
00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:34,640
-lt's our jam.
-This is our jam, ladies. Come on.

468
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:38,244
Ready? Five, six, seven, eight...

469
00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:41,385
Making my way downtown
Walking fast

470
00:33:41,452 --> 00:33:44,080
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

471
00:33:48,559 --> 00:33:51,528
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way

472
00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:55,498
Making a way
Through the crowd

473
00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:58,300
Take it, Tiff and Britt. This is your verse.

474
00:33:58,369 --> 00:34:00,894
Into the sky

475
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:05,874
Do you think time
Would pass me by

476
00:34:05,943 --> 00:34:10,243
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles

477
00:34:10,314 --> 00:34:13,841
If I could
Just see you

478
00:34:13,918 --> 00:34:17,547
Tonight

479
00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:19,884
C-minus.

480
00:34:22,927 --> 00:34:25,122
That's hot. Totally hot.

481
00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:26,527
feel a nigga

482
00:34:26,597 --> 00:34:30,465
Guys. l can't believe that you just said that.

483
00:34:30,868 --> 00:34:32,199
Said what?

484
00:34:32,937 --> 00:34:34,404
The ''N'' word.

485
00:34:37,875 --> 00:34:42,175
-So? Nobody's around.
-Yeah.

486
00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:49,645
50 Cent and B.I.G. my nigga

487
00:34:49,720 --> 00:34:52,018
Don't try to act like you don't feel a nigga

488
00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:55,890
Biggie yo nigga, 50 yo nigga
Squeeze the trigga' leave a nigga fo' sho

489
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,723
Ladies, can l help you?

490
00:34:57,795 --> 00:35:00,423
Yes, actually.
l need something for my friend.

491
00:35:00,498 --> 00:35:04,298
Something that says,
''l'm not a whore but l'm not a virgin either.''

492
00:35:04,402 --> 00:35:06,632
l've got just the thing. Come.

493
00:35:08,339 --> 00:35:11,274
-What about you, Brittany?
-No, thank you, sweetie. l'm fine.

494
00:35:11,342 --> 00:35:13,105
Good. You can help me. Come on.

495
00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:16,010
-Me?
-Yeah, we're girls. That's what we do.

496
00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:17,672
God.

497
00:35:28,659 --> 00:35:29,887
Come on.

498
00:35:35,233 --> 00:35:37,531
-Hello?
-Hi, baby.

499
00:35:37,735 --> 00:35:39,134
What's up, baby?

500
00:35:39,203 --> 00:35:43,139
l'm getting my hair done, and l was thinking
that we could go to the movies.

501
00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:44,868
How's that sound?

502
00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:47,342
-l'm back.
-Who is that?

503
00:35:47,612 --> 00:35:51,446
You're never going to get that big old head
in this tiny hole.

504
00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:53,976
-Here, let me help you.
-Hold on.

505
00:35:54,051 --> 00:35:57,043
-l'll hold it open while you put it in.
-Okay.

506
00:35:57,655 --> 00:36:00,283
-What is she holding?
-Push it.

507
00:36:00,358 --> 00:36:03,259
-lt's almost in.
-What is almost in? Marcus.

508
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:09,930
Marcus Anthony Copeland ll,
you better answer me right now.

509
00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:13,070
-lt's so tight.
-Tight?

510
00:36:14,272 --> 00:36:17,503
The only thing's that's going to be tight
is my foot down your throat.

511
00:36:17,575 --> 00:36:18,599
You better answer me!

512
00:36:18,676 --> 00:36:20,405
lt's a perfect fit.

513
00:36:24,415 --> 00:36:27,145
-l can't believe what l just heard.
-l told you.

514
00:36:28,152 --> 00:36:29,642
l'm exhausted.

515
00:36:30,321 --> 00:36:33,882
Gina. Damn. Hello? Baby?

516
00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:50,638
What do you think?

517
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:55,304
That looks so sexy.

518
00:36:58,549 --> 00:37:00,141
Are you kidding?

519
00:37:00,785 --> 00:37:05,154
''Hi, l'm Cellulite Sally.
Look at my huge bedonkey.''

520
00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,783
''And don't forget about me.
l'm Back Fat Betty.''

521
00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:09,325
Now who could have said that?

522
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:12,851
Yeah, it's Tina the Talking Tummy.

523
00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:15,898
l can't even wear a short skirt...

524
00:37:15,967 --> 00:37:19,425
and a top without looking like a fat pig.

525
00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:24,207
Calm down. l'll go see if there's something
else out there for you. Okay?

526
00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:31,704
Do you think Heath will love....
Do you need help?

527
00:37:33,351 --> 00:37:35,319
l think l need a bigger size.

528
00:37:35,386 --> 00:37:38,549
Honey, you never need a bigger size.
Come here.

529
00:37:38,623 --> 00:37:41,922
Let me show you a little trick.
Brace yourself.

530
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,593
Suck it in. Squeeze those cheeks, sister.

531
00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:49,225
Suck it in. Come on. Work with me.

532
00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:53,696
Don't give up on me.
You can do this. Suck it in.

533
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:57,798
Now that looks totally cute.

534
00:37:57,875 --> 00:37:59,740
My God! Are you kidding?

535
00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:04,213
''Hi, l'm Carnie Wilson before my
gastric bypass surgery.''

536
00:38:04,315 --> 00:38:07,216
Well, what about this?
This goes with your skin tone.

537
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:10,413
Somebody throw Shamu back in the ocean!

538
00:38:11,422 --> 00:38:14,016
Okay. Let me get you something else. Okay?

539
00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:16,824
How's that?

540
00:38:17,228 --> 00:38:19,696
l can't breathe.

541
00:38:21,098 --> 00:38:23,692
Honey, this is just not going to work.
l'm sorry.

542
00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:26,896
Well, of course not.
You're wearing the wrong underwear.

543
00:38:29,173 --> 00:38:30,697
ls that better?

544
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,944
l can taste the leather.

545
00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:38,204
Okay, you need a pair of hot shoes.
What size do you wear again?

546
00:38:39,216 --> 00:38:40,808
-Fourteen.
-What?

547
00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:50,123
Do you think you could bring us a size 10?

548
00:38:50,194 --> 00:38:51,752
-A what?
-A 10.

549
00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:52,818
lt's an open-toed slide.

550
00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:55,559
lt gives you two sizes in the front
and two in the back.

551
00:38:55,633 --> 00:38:59,330
-What about these? This one's--
-You bitch! That's so terrible.

552
00:38:59,403 --> 00:39:01,667
Let me go
and see if there's some help out there.

553
00:39:01,739 --> 00:39:04,572
Some professional help.
You need professional help. Hang on.

554
00:39:04,642 --> 00:39:07,543
-Okay.
-Dr. Phil!

555
00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:10,038
Oprah. Somebody, help me.

556
00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,449
Come on out, honey. Let's see.

557
00:39:16,921 --> 00:39:21,358
lt is absolutely fabulous.
lf you don't buy it, l'm buying it for myself.

558
00:39:23,127 --> 00:39:25,857
l don't know. Stand up straight.

559
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,770
Turn around.

560
00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:41,470
Honey, just relax. Breathe.

561
00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:55,983
You know what? Maybe a nice dress.

562
00:39:57,728 --> 00:39:59,787
Okay. Who would you do?

563
00:40:00,264 --> 00:40:03,097
Janet Reno or Rosie O'Donnell?

564
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,768
-What! Are you kidding me?
-And death is not an option.

565
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,038
l don't know. Rosie.

566
00:40:12,176 --> 00:40:15,111
-You're a pig. That's disgusting.
-What are you talking about?

567
00:40:15,179 --> 00:40:18,205
-Rosie's all right.
-Heads up. Here they are.

568
00:40:20,618 --> 00:40:23,678
-Hold on. Who would you do?
-No time. We're on the job.

569
00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:29,620
-He's got my gun and badge.
-Go get him!

570
00:40:30,995 --> 00:40:32,895
Get in! Get in the car.

571
00:40:35,666 --> 00:40:37,463
My God, l need a cigarette!

572
00:40:39,403 --> 00:40:41,701
-Can you believe this?
-What do we do?

573
00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:44,297
We follow them.
But we can't blow our cover.

574
00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:49,511
-Give me back my bag.
-Oh, man.

575
00:40:50,481 --> 00:40:52,381
l'll rip your head off.

576
00:40:53,484 --> 00:40:55,111
Your ass is mine.

577
00:40:56,654 --> 00:40:58,679
What is this girl, a track star?

578
00:41:08,332 --> 00:41:10,857
You messed
with the wrong blonde today, pal.

579
00:41:18,075 --> 00:41:20,305
-Holy Christ.
-Now l'm pissed.

580
00:41:21,011 --> 00:41:22,774
l think she's bionic, dude.

581
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,519
Holy smokes.

582
00:41:32,556 --> 00:41:36,492
-That was nice.
-Jeez, lady. All that for a bag?

583
00:41:37,194 --> 00:41:40,686
lt's not just a bag. lt's Prada.

584
00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:53,338
-lt was like a reality show.
-lt was so cool.

585
00:42:18,269 --> 00:42:21,136
-Right behind you.
-Nice going, Tori.

586
00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:25,039
Way to get us sat at the losers' table.
l thought you had it all hooked up.

587
00:42:25,109 --> 00:42:27,600
Excuse me. l do have the hook-up.

588
00:42:27,778 --> 00:42:30,611
Don't blame me.
Blame Little Miss Def Jam over here...

589
00:42:30,681 --> 00:42:33,081
who had to go, ''Yo' mama''
on the Vandergelds.

590
00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:34,640
We could be finished in this town.

591
00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:38,017
-Somebody had to stand up to those guys.
-They're the ''it'' girls.

592
00:42:38,088 --> 00:42:41,023
-That's the way it's always been.
-Whatever.

593
00:42:44,194 --> 00:42:46,389
Honey, quick. Give me a pat.

594
00:42:48,332 --> 00:42:50,664
No, a powder for my nose. Quick.

595
00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:55,132
Thanks.

596
00:42:58,642 --> 00:43:00,439
No, l'm just kidding.

597
00:43:07,818 --> 00:43:11,584
l tried to call you,
but your number changed?

598
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:15,055
Yeah, l know. l changed it.

599
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:20,625
Anyway, so, l was just wondering if maybe...

600
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:23,191
later we could--

601
00:43:23,801 --> 00:43:28,238
Hello. Where have you been all night?
l've been looking all over for you.

602
00:43:31,075 --> 00:43:33,168
Why are you talking to her?

603
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,246
Clean it up, coke whore.

604
00:43:40,651 --> 00:43:42,846
Do you have any more of that?

605
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:44,945
Don't hate me because you ain't me.

606
00:43:45,022 --> 00:43:47,149
Can I have your attention, please?

607
00:43:47,224 --> 00:43:49,385
Gentlemen, get out your wallets...

608
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,485
because you'll be bidding on a date...

609
00:43:51,562 --> 00:43:54,759
with some of Hamptons'
most eligible bachelorettes.

610
00:43:54,832 --> 00:43:57,232
First up, yours truly.

611
00:43:58,802 --> 00:44:00,793
Who wants to start the bidding?

612
00:44:04,274 --> 00:44:06,469
-$500?
-$500.

613
00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:09,370
Okay. Do I hear $1,000?

614
00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:12,939
Well, looks like we're all
on the Vandergelds' D-list.

615
00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,881
-ls this seat taken?
-Oh, no. Have a seat.

616
00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:22,289
Can you believe this?
They're actually auctioning off women.

617
00:44:23,093 --> 00:44:27,723
-Would you ever do anything like that?
-Well, it's for a good cause.

618
00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:31,297
Besides, being wined and dined
by a rich guy might be nice.

619
00:44:32,469 --> 00:44:34,664
l see, so you like rich guys?

620
00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:37,966
lt might be a pleasant change
from all the losers that ask me out.

621
00:44:38,042 --> 00:44:39,669
-$3,000.
-That's good.

622
00:44:39,743 --> 00:44:40,767
l see.

623
00:44:40,878 --> 00:44:43,312
But I think that we can do better than that.

624
00:44:43,380 --> 00:44:46,076
-$20,000.
-Sold.

625
00:44:46,717 --> 00:44:50,881
$20,000. That is a new record.

626
00:44:52,056 --> 00:44:53,717
That is very good.

627
00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:59,192
Next to be auctioned is Tiffany Wilson.

628
00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:02,598
-That's you.
-Me?

629
00:45:03,567 --> 00:45:05,535
You better do something.

630
00:45:05,936 --> 00:45:08,530
Excuse me, honey. l'll be right back.

631
00:45:15,579 --> 00:45:17,877
Who wants to start the bidding?

632
00:45:17,981 --> 00:45:19,005
$4.

633
00:45:21,185 --> 00:45:24,348
$4. Do I hear $5?

634
00:45:26,056 --> 00:45:27,956
$1,000.

635
00:45:29,059 --> 00:45:32,051
$1,000. Does anyone wish to go higher?

636
00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:34,196
Yeah, l got $2,000 right here.

637
00:45:35,365 --> 00:45:37,526
$3,000.

638
00:45:38,135 --> 00:45:39,830
$5,000.

639
00:45:40,137 --> 00:45:41,627
Who said that?

640
00:45:43,774 --> 00:45:46,800
$5,000 to the dirty geezer in the back.

641
00:45:46,877 --> 00:45:49,175
I'm sure no one will wish
to go higher than that...

642
00:45:49,246 --> 00:45:50,804
so we can just be done with it now.

643
00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:53,145
$10,000.

644
00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:55,179
$20,000.

645
00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:00,679
$20,000! Going once, going twice--

646
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:05,092
$50,000. Cash!

647
00:46:08,232 --> 00:46:09,324
Fine.

648
00:46:10,534 --> 00:46:11,728
Sold...

649
00:46:12,202 --> 00:46:14,602
to the big black guy right there.

650
00:46:15,172 --> 00:46:17,333
Step right up and claim your prize.

651
00:46:21,979 --> 00:46:24,447
l don't want
to go on a date with Buff Daddy.

652
00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,107
Come here, baby.

653
00:46:33,023 --> 00:46:35,821
Dude, my feet are killing me.

654
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:40,161
And on top of that, that G-string
gave me diaper rash.

655
00:46:40,230 --> 00:46:43,131
-How long we got to do this, man?
-Just a couple more days.

656
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,397
l don't have a couple of more days.
Do you know who my wife is?

657
00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:49,462
Here, listen to this message.
She's losing her mind.

658
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,468
...with another woman
doing what I think you're doing!

659
00:46:52,543 --> 00:46:53,942
You don't want to hear the rest.

660
00:46:54,011 --> 00:46:58,175
By the end of the weekend,
we'll be heroes and all will be forgiven.

661
00:46:58,916 --> 00:47:00,247
All right.

662
00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:04,613
-You order room service?
-No.

663
00:47:09,092 --> 00:47:10,423
Who is it?

664
00:47:15,432 --> 00:47:17,627
Damn! These girls won't quit.

665
00:47:19,102 --> 00:47:22,265
We'll be right there. We're coming. Hang on.

666
00:47:24,975 --> 00:47:26,602
-Open up!
-Open.

667
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:27,939
One second.

668
00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:30,775
We'll be right there. Hang on.

669
00:47:31,048 --> 00:47:32,845
The ice cream's melting!

670
00:47:32,916 --> 00:47:36,977
Hold tight, girls!
We're just shaving our feet, okay?

671
00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:40,146
And braiding our vaginas.

672
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:54,097
What, did you guys forget?
lt's your turn to host the slumber party.

673
00:47:59,810 --> 00:48:02,608
Okay, you guys. What does it mean...

674
00:48:02,913 --> 00:48:06,576
when a guy is in a really bad relationship...

675
00:48:06,817 --> 00:48:10,446
and it's really obvious
that he wants to be with you...

676
00:48:10,754 --> 00:48:13,518
but he just can't seem to break up with
his girlfriend?

677
00:48:13,590 --> 00:48:15,956
lt means you're a total booty call.

678
00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:19,893
-My God! Brittany!
-Well, you were thinking it.

679
00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:21,624
Well, you said it.

680
00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:24,460
You know,
sometimes you sound just like a man.

681
00:48:24,534 --> 00:48:26,195
So l've been told.

682
00:48:27,771 --> 00:48:29,898
What she means to say, honey...

683
00:48:29,973 --> 00:48:34,569
is maybe you're just making yourself
just a little bit too, like, available.

684
00:48:35,312 --> 00:48:37,109
Come on, you guys.

685
00:48:37,481 --> 00:48:40,314
Don't act like you haven't done it before.

686
00:48:40,484 --> 00:48:43,783
You know how it is
when you really care about someone.

687
00:48:43,854 --> 00:48:45,185
You call them all day long...

688
00:48:45,255 --> 00:48:47,655
because you just wanna know
how their day is going...

689
00:48:47,724 --> 00:48:51,785
and what they're thinking about
and if they're thinking about you.

690
00:48:52,829 --> 00:48:56,128
You spend all day trying to find
the perfect outfit.

691
00:48:56,233 --> 00:48:59,293
You even change your hairstyle
just so he'll take a second look.

692
00:48:59,369 --> 00:49:01,234
But they never notice.

693
00:49:01,405 --> 00:49:04,568
Sometimes l just wish
that they could trade places with us...

694
00:49:04,641 --> 00:49:07,701
so that they would know how it feels.
You know?

695
00:49:08,145 --> 00:49:09,908
-All done.
-Really?

696
00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:14,015
My God! This is so cool.

697
00:49:14,084 --> 00:49:15,346
You know something?

698
00:49:15,419 --> 00:49:18,183
l think you might have been black
in a previous life.

699
00:49:18,255 --> 00:49:20,155
Fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

700
00:49:21,425 --> 00:49:25,794
All right, l got another one for you.
Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?

701
00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:28,119
Easy.

702
00:49:28,198 --> 00:49:30,894
But they both got a yeast infection.

703
00:49:32,336 --> 00:49:33,963
Now that's tough.

704
00:49:38,508 --> 00:49:41,966
-l'm going to go with Pam Anderson.
-You're disgusting.

705
00:49:42,379 --> 00:49:45,246
-What?
-They got a yeast infection.

706
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:47,746
Who would you choose?

707
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:50,685
Hey, Gomez. We got a couple of bogeys.

708
00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:53,546
-No time.
-Oh, come on!

709
00:49:54,057 --> 00:49:56,457
lt's Pam Anderson, like you care.

710
00:50:00,030 --> 00:50:02,055
Run their faces. Let's go.

711
00:50:05,802 --> 00:50:08,202
-Brittany Wilson?
-Yeah, that's me.

712
00:50:08,271 --> 00:50:09,761
Let's get her.

713
00:50:12,576 --> 00:50:16,342
-Put the blindfold on her!
-Damn, this girl's strong.

714
00:50:30,427 --> 00:50:32,895
-Who do you work for?
-lntimate Fantasies!

715
00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:34,658
My God. You need help?

716
00:50:34,731 --> 00:50:39,293
What are you doing?
Those are the strippers, Raoul and Tito.

717
00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:40,700
Strippers?

718
00:50:44,508 --> 00:50:48,376
-l thought they were going to kidnap me.
-That's part of their routine.

719
00:50:48,445 --> 00:50:52,006
Oh, my God! l am so sorry.

720
00:50:52,082 --> 00:50:54,550
Hotel security! ls everything all right here?

721
00:50:54,618 --> 00:50:58,349
Everything is fine.
Just a little case of PMS. That's all.

722
00:50:58,422 --> 00:51:00,856
l'm just one big, emotional wreck.

723
00:51:00,957 --> 00:51:03,949
Could you guys go
get me some Midol and a Snickers?

724
00:51:04,027 --> 00:51:06,655
-Let's get out of here.
-My ass is fat.

725
00:51:06,963 --> 00:51:08,692
This is Harper. lt's all clear.

726
00:51:15,172 --> 00:51:19,302
Okay, ladies. Let's focus.
We have to find the perfect spot.

727
00:51:19,876 --> 00:51:21,275
Skank alert.

728
00:51:29,019 --> 00:51:32,079
My God, girls.
l totally forgot my suntan lotion.

729
00:51:32,155 --> 00:51:35,352
l'm gonna get some suntan lotion.
l'll be right back.

730
00:51:35,625 --> 00:51:36,819
Hey, Russ.

731
00:51:43,066 --> 00:51:46,331
Hey, bro. Go long. l got a plan. Go.

732
00:51:55,245 --> 00:51:58,408
Hey, yo! You do that again,
l'm going to bust....

733
00:52:01,084 --> 00:52:02,984
l'll bust out in tears.

734
00:52:04,754 --> 00:52:06,915
-lnbreds!
-You're a jerk.

735
00:52:09,693 --> 00:52:13,185
My bad, sweetheart. Over here.
Don't hurt yourself.

736
00:52:13,363 --> 00:52:16,332
Don't worry, l won't.

737
00:52:19,035 --> 00:52:21,469
Sorry. Better lay off the spinach.

738
00:52:35,952 --> 00:52:38,716
Tony. Let's go hunting.

739
00:52:57,140 --> 00:52:59,267
What a beautiful, sunny day.

740
00:53:03,780 --> 00:53:06,214
Oh, my God. What happened to the sun?

741
00:53:07,217 --> 00:53:09,082
Easy, white chocolate.

742
00:53:09,886 --> 00:53:11,717
l wouldn't want you to melt.

743
00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:15,087
Yeah. Hasta la vista, Schwarzenegro. Bye.

744
00:53:25,268 --> 00:53:28,328
Hey, kids! You guys want to make $5?

745
00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:29,633
Yeah! Sure!

746
00:53:29,706 --> 00:53:31,867
Okay, here's what l want you to do.

747
00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:39,406
Yeah, l'll take the usual.
And put it on my tab.

748
00:53:40,650 --> 00:53:43,210
Hey, Latrell Spencer!
Could we have your autograph?

749
00:53:43,286 --> 00:53:46,084
-Sure, little buddy.
-Thanks. You're the greatest.

750
00:53:46,156 --> 00:53:48,249
Hey, that's what l do, baby.

751
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:51,991
-Sweet!
-Nice!

752
00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:54,963
-Hey, stay in school.
-Okay, we will!

753
00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:59,928
-Wow! You must be pretty good.
-l'm all right.

754
00:54:00,971 --> 00:54:04,702
Sometimes l feel l should be paying them
to take my autograph.

755
00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:07,604
l'm sorry, l didn't even get your name.

756
00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:11,904
Latrell. Latrell Spencer. And you are?

757
00:54:11,982 --> 00:54:15,509
-Denise Porter.
-Denise. Denise Porter.

758
00:54:16,019 --> 00:54:19,580
You know, you look so familiar.
l feel like l've seen you somewhere.

759
00:54:19,656 --> 00:54:24,218
No. l play pro ball.
Maybe you've seen one of my games.

760
00:54:24,294 --> 00:54:28,958
No. But l mean if l did, l'm sure
l would've definitely remembered you.

761
00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:33,897
Okay, well. Look, Denise...

762
00:54:34,738 --> 00:54:36,831
l don't mean to be too forward or anything...

763
00:54:36,906 --> 00:54:39,898
but l'm here in town,
checking out some real estate, and--

764
00:54:39,976 --> 00:54:41,443
Oh, whereabouts?

765
00:54:41,911 --> 00:54:44,471
-You know, up around over there.
-ln Montauk?

766
00:54:44,547 --> 00:54:47,414
-More like around--
-East Hampton.

767
00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:49,918
Just all over the place. lt's one big blur.

768
00:54:49,986 --> 00:54:51,954
One big, business blur.

769
00:54:52,022 --> 00:54:55,082
l kind of want to
get away from all that business and...

770
00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:57,649
hang out with somebody
and have a real conversation.

771
00:54:57,727 --> 00:55:00,560
So, l was wondering if you're not too busy...

772
00:55:00,630 --> 00:55:03,428
-maybe we can hang out?
-Yeah, sure.

773
00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:07,397
-Really? All right. Cool!
-Yeah.

774
00:55:11,341 --> 00:55:13,741
So, l'll pick you up at about....

775
00:55:19,082 --> 00:55:22,518
You know,
the jet should be here about 7:30...

776
00:55:22,585 --> 00:55:26,715
and the limo will take about a half-hour.
About 8:00. ls that good?

777
00:55:26,823 --> 00:55:30,725
-Yeah, 8:00 sounds great.
-8:00 sounds good? All right.

778
00:55:32,495 --> 00:55:34,258
-Goodbye.
-Take care.

779
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,630
Hey, where's our $5?

780
00:55:39,903 --> 00:55:41,700
All right, calm down.

781
00:55:43,406 --> 00:55:46,773
Here you go. $5. $2.50 each.

782
00:55:47,444 --> 00:55:50,038
-You promised to give us $5 each.
-Stay in school.

783
00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:51,102
Cheapo.

784
00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:51,581
l am not making excuses.
l refuse to believe it.

785
00:55:51,581 --> 00:55:54,141
l am not making excuses.
l refuse to believe it.

786
00:55:54,217 --> 00:55:57,015
-Really?
-l don't want to believe Marcus is cheating.

787
00:55:57,087 --> 00:56:00,215
l don't wanna believe
Michael Jackson keeps carving up his nose.

788
00:56:00,290 --> 00:56:03,691
Excuse me. Your card has been declined
for insufficient funds.

789
00:56:03,793 --> 00:56:05,658
The rep's on the line.

790
00:56:06,596 --> 00:56:08,689
Yes, this is Mrs. Copeland.

791
00:56:10,467 --> 00:56:14,164
$4,000 dress?
And where did l buy this dress?

792
00:56:14,771 --> 00:56:16,238
The Hamptons!

793
00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,774
Yes, l remember.

794
00:56:21,010 --> 00:56:22,341
Thank you.

795
00:56:26,216 --> 00:56:27,478
lt is on.

796
00:56:32,021 --> 00:56:34,114
l don't see
why l got to go out with Mandingo.

797
00:56:34,190 --> 00:56:36,055
'Cause if you don't, you'll blow our cover.

798
00:56:36,126 --> 00:56:38,094
What you gonna be doing?

799
00:56:39,129 --> 00:56:42,826
Me? l'm going to follow up on a lead.

800
00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:49,936
You're going on a date.

801
00:56:50,006 --> 00:56:51,667
She's a reporter.

802
00:56:52,342 --> 00:56:55,800
Who else knows more
about the Hamptons people than her?

803
00:56:57,013 --> 00:57:00,779
All right, so l like the girl. You're the one
always telling me to settle down.

804
00:57:00,850 --> 00:57:02,147
And you should.

805
00:57:02,218 --> 00:57:05,381
But that don't mean
l got to go with Buffy the White Girl Slayer.

806
00:57:05,455 --> 00:57:08,356
All right. Look. Just go to dinner. Okay?

807
00:57:08,892 --> 00:57:12,328
l'm only gonna be a couple of hours
and l'll meet you back at the club.

808
00:57:12,395 --> 00:57:13,692
-You promise?
-l promise?

809
00:57:13,763 --> 00:57:15,287
l'm serious, dude. Promise.

810
00:57:15,365 --> 00:57:17,560
l do. l'm serious. All right.

811
00:57:18,701 --> 00:57:20,396
And if you need to use protection...

812
00:57:20,470 --> 00:57:23,837
tell Latrell there's an extra shower curtain
in the bathroom.

813
00:57:33,516 --> 00:57:34,710
Hop in.

814
00:57:36,853 --> 00:57:39,651
Take your time. Watch those marshmallows.

815
00:57:43,159 --> 00:57:45,024
Ease on in there, now.

816
00:57:46,062 --> 00:57:48,690
l won't bite unless you ask me to.

817
00:57:54,437 --> 00:57:56,234
You are so beautiful.

818
00:58:01,644 --> 00:58:03,168
Good boy, Baby.

819
00:58:04,881 --> 00:58:07,873
How about we listen to a little bit of music?

820
00:58:12,188 --> 00:58:13,587
What the....

821
00:58:15,925 --> 00:58:19,019
How did you know? l love this song!

822
00:58:20,129 --> 00:58:23,030
Making my way downtown
Walking fast

823
00:58:23,099 --> 00:58:25,567
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

824
00:58:29,138 --> 00:58:30,696
And I need you

825
00:58:31,641 --> 00:58:33,199
And I miss you

826
00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:37,177
And now I wonder

827
00:58:37,647 --> 00:58:42,243
If I could fall
Into the sky

828
00:58:42,585 --> 00:58:47,022
Do you think time
Would pass me by

829
00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:52,120
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles

830
00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:55,995
If I could
Just see you

831
00:58:57,166 --> 00:58:58,599
Tonight

832
00:59:13,283 --> 00:59:16,150
-Good evening, madam. Welcome to Bella.
-Thank you.

833
00:59:16,853 --> 00:59:17,945
What are you doing here?

834
00:59:18,021 --> 00:59:20,285
l came to borrow the car
and the keys to his house.

835
00:59:20,356 --> 00:59:23,223
Are you crazy? lf you crash this man's car,
he will kill you.

836
00:59:23,293 --> 00:59:27,161
l won't crash it. Look. Just call me
before you leave. l'll bring it back.

837
00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:29,664
Then you meet me back at the club.

838
00:59:30,833 --> 00:59:33,563
No, my brother. You got to get your own.

839
00:59:38,808 --> 00:59:40,036
Help me.

840
00:59:46,482 --> 00:59:48,143
Thank you.

841
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,179
May l bring you something from the bar?

842
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:56,157
Let me have
a bottle of your best champagne.

843
01:00:00,363 --> 01:00:03,264
-And bring us some oysters.
-Very good, sir.

844
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,626
l have to say, l was so....

845
01:00:09,872 --> 01:00:12,397
l was happy
when l bought you at the auction.

846
01:00:12,475 --> 01:00:15,911
l mean, it's very rare
l have the opportunity to...

847
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,314
bask in the ambience
of such a classy lady such as yourself.

848
01:00:21,718 --> 01:00:23,151
Oh, my God!

849
01:00:23,553 --> 01:00:27,011
-l am humbled by your...
-This athlete's foot is just killing me.

850
01:00:27,090 --> 01:00:29,524
-...beautiful nature.
-That smell. That's infection.

851
01:00:29,592 --> 01:00:33,323
-The most high-classness of your....
-My God. ls that a hangnail?

852
01:00:35,031 --> 01:00:37,056
Captivated by your beauty.

853
01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:40,958
Your bountiful curves remind me
of the hills in ltaly.

854
01:00:46,142 --> 01:00:48,303
l'm sorry. You were saying?

855
01:00:50,046 --> 01:00:53,140
-That's perfect. Thank you.
-Are you ready to order?

856
01:00:53,216 --> 01:00:57,243
Yes, l'll have the chicken. White meat only.

857
01:00:59,622 --> 01:01:02,648
And for the lady, perhaps a salad?

858
01:01:03,860 --> 01:01:08,126
Perhaps not.
l'll have the steak, smothered in onions.

859
01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:11,291
A rack of ribs. Pasta with extra garlic.

860
01:01:11,367 --> 01:01:16,236
French fries with lots of vinegar and a
side of onion rings with lots of sauerkraut.

861
01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:24,203
Have you ever had oysters?

862
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:27,349
Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?

863
01:01:34,390 --> 01:01:35,550
Sorry.

864
01:01:37,593 --> 01:01:39,561
My tongue's kind of big.

865
01:01:50,039 --> 01:01:52,200
lt'll open. Hold it!

866
01:01:52,275 --> 01:01:56,302
l'll push. Yeah. See, that did it there.

867
01:01:56,846 --> 01:01:58,575
Just a little turn.

868
01:01:59,315 --> 01:02:01,510
There's so many keys involved...

869
01:02:01,584 --> 01:02:04,712
sometimes it's hard to figure out
what's what.

870
01:02:10,093 --> 01:02:11,993
lt's Mei Ling.

871
01:02:13,696 --> 01:02:16,062
What are you doing here? Girl, it's late!

872
01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:18,600
Come on, now. You have to go home.
Get some rest.

873
01:02:18,668 --> 01:02:22,160
You cannot stay. There are laws
against this kind of workmanship.

874
01:02:22,238 --> 01:02:24,672
They'll think
l'm running some kind of sweatshop.

875
01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:28,472
That girl does not know when to go home.

876
01:02:28,544 --> 01:02:32,981
l'm telling you, she will stay here
and just clean forever.

877
01:02:36,919 --> 01:02:39,012
This is really nice.

878
01:02:39,622 --> 01:02:41,419
Yeah, this is dope.

879
01:02:42,859 --> 01:02:45,157
Dope summer home l picked, boy.

880
01:02:47,096 --> 01:02:48,791
Who's that?

881
01:02:50,833 --> 01:02:54,963
The big, buff, bald dude with the fur?

882
01:02:56,205 --> 01:02:58,036
That's my trainer.

883
01:02:58,474 --> 01:03:00,032
You have your trainer on your wall?

884
01:03:00,109 --> 01:03:04,170
Yes, well, for inspiration.
l want to look like that one day and...

885
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:07,807
l come in every morning
and l look at the.... You ever see Titanic?

886
01:03:07,884 --> 01:03:11,877
-No, l haven't seen it.
-Me, either. You want something to drink?

887
01:03:12,121 --> 01:03:14,954
-Yeah, sure. A glass of wine would be nice.
-Wine.

888
01:03:16,392 --> 01:03:19,759
Okay, so l'll get you a glass of wine and....

889
01:03:20,563 --> 01:03:22,463
That'd be in the kitchen, right?

890
01:03:22,532 --> 01:03:25,399
l don't know. This is your house, Latrell.

891
01:03:25,501 --> 01:03:27,867
Who? Oh, me! Latrell.

892
01:03:28,104 --> 01:03:31,039
That's right. l'm Latrell. That's right.

893
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:34,807
l'm going to get you
a bottle of my wine in my house.

894
01:03:35,278 --> 01:03:39,112
It's my house and I live here

895
01:03:59,735 --> 01:04:01,396
Damn, little lady!

896
01:04:02,004 --> 01:04:03,995
You sure can put it away.

897
01:04:07,143 --> 01:04:08,735
You're so funny.

898
01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:12,340
Voilà!

899
01:04:16,719 --> 01:04:18,243
You have a dog.

900
01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,783
No, l don't have no damn dog.

901
01:04:22,658 --> 01:04:25,752
Well, then whose dog is that?

902
01:04:29,665 --> 01:04:30,757
Shit.

903
01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:36,532
That's not no dog.

904
01:04:37,106 --> 01:04:38,596
That's family.

905
01:04:40,610 --> 01:04:42,077
Hey, cousin.

906
01:04:47,049 --> 01:04:48,573
Come here, boy.

907
01:04:54,090 --> 01:04:56,024
He looks really mad! Are you okay?

908
01:04:56,092 --> 01:04:59,357
Yeah, l'm fine. He just misses me, that's all.

909
01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:02,793
Okay, boy, playtime's over. Let me up!

910
01:05:04,433 --> 01:05:07,834
-You want me to go for help?
-No, we're just having fun.

911
01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:09,997
You sure are playful today.

912
01:05:12,541 --> 01:05:14,839
You want to go for a walk, boy?

913
01:05:16,212 --> 01:05:17,941
l'll be right back!

914
01:05:19,048 --> 01:05:21,516
You know what?
Forget this! l'm out of here!

915
01:05:21,584 --> 01:05:25,543
l don't want to go on a date with a guy
and his dog is biting him and....

916
01:05:32,628 --> 01:05:35,028
What's he doing now? What's that?

917
01:05:36,165 --> 01:05:37,757
Don't pay him no mind.

918
01:05:37,833 --> 01:05:40,996
He's just going to do that
until he falls asleep.

919
01:05:43,472 --> 01:05:46,270
Now, where were we? Wine!

920
01:05:57,386 --> 01:06:01,550
You know,
l like a woman with a little extra something.

921
01:06:03,225 --> 01:06:06,422
A little cushion for the pushing.

922
01:06:07,363 --> 01:06:10,230
l'd really love for you
to come to one of my games.

923
01:06:10,299 --> 01:06:13,928
No, thank you. l've seen you play.
Not impressed.

924
01:06:14,170 --> 01:06:17,731
Excuse me? l'm the highest scoring forward
in the league!

925
01:06:19,141 --> 01:06:23,441
But all that talent? Totally overshadowed by
nothing but scandals and pure laziness.

926
01:06:23,512 --> 01:06:27,471
Come on! You're shooting under 50%
from the free throw line, okay?

927
01:06:27,550 --> 01:06:29,313
Your turnover ratio, abysmal.

928
01:06:29,385 --> 01:06:33,651
And on top of that, you can't shoot
three-pointers to save your life. So...

929
01:06:33,723 --> 01:06:35,088
squeeze me.

930
01:06:44,066 --> 01:06:46,660
No one's ever cared like that before.

931
01:06:48,504 --> 01:06:50,096
Come here, baby!

932
01:06:56,879 --> 01:06:58,471
Oopsie! l had a poopsie.

933
01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:03,182
Girl, we're going to get along just fine.

934
01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:05,419
Back at you!

935
01:07:08,758 --> 01:07:11,693
-Bask in the ambience!
-l'm going to be sick.

936
01:07:13,229 --> 01:07:17,165
So, no. l jump over the fence, fall.
l scrape my knee.

937
01:07:17,233 --> 01:07:19,463
-Get out of here.
-No, seriously, listen.

938
01:07:19,535 --> 01:07:23,938
l scrape my knee. l get chased by the cops
and l spend the night in jail.

939
01:07:24,006 --> 01:07:27,271
That's insane. You did all that
just to find J-Lo and Ben's hideaway?

940
01:07:27,343 --> 01:07:31,404
l can't help it. You know,
investigative journalism is my passion.

941
01:07:31,614 --> 01:07:35,311
So how'd you end up
writing puff pieces for the local news?

942
01:07:36,619 --> 01:07:39,213
Unfortunately, l made some enemies...

943
01:07:39,722 --> 01:07:42,247
and ended up getting fired from my last job.

944
01:07:42,324 --> 01:07:43,348
What happened?

945
01:07:43,426 --> 01:07:45,519
Believe me,
you don't want to know about that.

946
01:07:45,594 --> 01:07:48,586
Look, l spent all night talking about myself.

947
01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:52,694
Sometimes it's good for a man
to just sit back and listen.

948
01:07:53,869 --> 01:07:56,201
Well, since you put it that way.

949
01:07:59,475 --> 01:08:02,103
l did this piece on Warren Vandergeld.

950
01:08:02,511 --> 01:08:05,412
Him and his partners tried to swindle a guy.

951
01:08:05,481 --> 01:08:07,676
You talking about Ted Burton?

952
01:08:08,217 --> 01:08:09,980
Yeah, how did you know that?

953
01:08:10,052 --> 01:08:12,646
lt was in the paper. l read about it.

954
01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,747
But what they didn't report in the paper...

955
01:08:15,825 --> 01:08:18,851
was that Burton was 10 times smarter
than all of them.

956
01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:22,659
He embezzled millions
and stashed it in an offshore account.

957
01:08:25,134 --> 01:08:27,534
When Vandergeld heard the story
was going to break...

958
01:08:27,603 --> 01:08:29,696
he didn't want to be embarrassed.

959
01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:31,740
Well, there goes my job.

960
01:08:33,909 --> 01:08:35,900
You know, you're a good listener.

961
01:08:35,978 --> 01:08:39,072
lt seems like you have the whole package.

962
01:08:56,832 --> 01:08:57,890
Man!

963
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:03,563
-Hello?
-Kev, you got to go.

964
01:09:03,639 --> 01:09:06,665
-What? Now?
-Yeah, now. We're on our way.

965
01:09:07,676 --> 01:09:09,701
Can't you stall him for a little while?

966
01:09:09,778 --> 01:09:13,270
Look, this man sang to me.
He tried to kiss me and on top of that...

967
01:09:13,349 --> 01:09:15,408
he been farting for the last 20 minutes.

968
01:09:15,484 --> 01:09:18,317
All right, l'll be there in a minute. Bye.

969
01:09:19,188 --> 01:09:22,282
-Cottontail!
-l'm coming, nigger!

970
01:09:25,728 --> 01:09:27,889
Gomez, what the hell are we looking for?

971
01:09:27,963 --> 01:09:31,592
l don't know. Something just isn't right
about these girls.

972
01:09:31,667 --> 01:09:33,862
l'm gonna check the bathroom.

973
01:09:44,647 --> 01:09:46,137
Find anything?

974
01:09:47,283 --> 01:09:49,717
No. Not yet.

975
01:09:58,494 --> 01:10:02,430
You won't believe what l....
What the hell are you doing?

976
01:10:06,635 --> 01:10:10,401
Sniffing chicks' underwear, man.
What is the big....

977
01:10:10,706 --> 01:10:12,196
lt's.... What?

978
01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,776
They're guys, aren't they?

979
01:10:20,716 --> 01:10:22,741
You really are disgusting.

980
01:10:38,334 --> 01:10:41,667
-Latrell, my man! What's going on, brother?
-What's up, man?

981
01:10:42,438 --> 01:10:45,339
-Two apple martinis.
-You hitting that, bro?

982
01:10:45,975 --> 01:10:48,603
-This is a tough one to crack.
-Tiffany Wilson?

983
01:10:48,677 --> 01:10:50,668
She puts the ''E'' in easy.

984
01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:53,772
Here. Drop a couple of these babies
in her drink, man.

985
01:10:53,849 --> 01:10:55,646
Are you sure this will work?

986
01:10:55,718 --> 01:10:58,346
Man, l just took two of them,
and l'm telling you...

987
01:10:58,420 --> 01:11:01,116
l'm boinking someone tonight, you know?

988
01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,422
Excuse me.

989
01:11:10,065 --> 01:11:12,761
That's for you, my little Miracle Whip.

990
01:11:13,636 --> 01:11:16,264
You need to loosen up. There you go.

991
01:11:17,906 --> 01:11:19,168
That's for you.

992
01:11:19,241 --> 01:11:21,573
-Oh, my God! ls that Britney Spears?
-Where?

993
01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:25,136
Right over there. Forget it, she just left.

994
01:11:26,682 --> 01:11:28,707
Oops, she did it again.

995
01:11:33,656 --> 01:11:35,851
-Let's drink up.
-Let's do it.

996
01:11:36,725 --> 01:11:38,352
To the last drop.

997
01:11:44,700 --> 01:11:47,498
That's good. You want to dance?

998
01:11:47,703 --> 01:11:51,662
You know, that's a great idea.
Here, hold Baby. Let's go, girls.

999
01:12:00,783 --> 01:12:05,720
l found out some interesting information.
Ted Burton turned the tables on Vandergeld.

1000
01:12:05,788 --> 01:12:07,483
Tucked away $100 million.

1001
01:12:07,556 --> 01:12:10,389
Been living the high life
ever since he got out of prison.

1002
01:12:10,459 --> 01:12:12,324
There goes our motive.

1003
01:12:22,104 --> 01:12:24,538
Those skanks think they're hot?

1004
01:12:26,575 --> 01:12:29,100
Let's show them what sexy really is.

1005
01:12:55,137 --> 01:12:57,970
They want to battle. Let's go, girls.

1006
01:13:13,589 --> 01:13:15,682
You girls want some of this?

1007
01:13:15,758 --> 01:13:17,953
Bring it on, sisters!

1008
01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:20,152
Okay, let's do it!

1009
01:13:20,996 --> 01:13:23,362
Five, six, seven, eight.

1010
01:14:27,629 --> 01:14:28,857
Come on.

1011
01:14:32,167 --> 01:14:33,862
Hold on.

1012
01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:37,704
l know you hookers
don't think this is over with.

1013
01:14:38,740 --> 01:14:40,731
Let's kick it old school.

1014
01:15:04,967 --> 01:15:06,298
They suck!

1015
01:15:39,301 --> 01:15:40,825
Oh, my God!

1016
01:15:50,245 --> 01:15:51,542
We won!

1017
01:16:02,424 --> 01:16:04,085
Come on, let's go.

1018
01:16:05,527 --> 01:16:07,620
Get out of my way! Move it!

1019
01:16:09,364 --> 01:16:10,888
l need a drink.

1020
01:16:16,672 --> 01:16:19,470
Hey, Latrell, my man.

1021
01:16:21,243 --> 01:16:23,074
So did it work, man?

1022
01:16:24,780 --> 01:16:26,270
l don't know.

1023
01:16:27,382 --> 01:16:29,111
But l got to dance.

1024
01:16:29,885 --> 01:16:31,546
l got to hit this.

1025
01:16:34,256 --> 01:16:35,723
Hold the dog.

1026
01:16:41,263 --> 01:16:41,296
Let it out.

1027
01:16:41,296 --> 01:16:42,627
Let it out.

1028
01:16:43,031 --> 01:16:44,965
Oh, yeah. Now it's out.

1029
01:16:46,134 --> 01:16:48,762
l paid thousands of dollars on this outfit...

1030
01:16:48,837 --> 01:16:51,271
and do you think he even noticed?

1031
01:16:51,340 --> 01:16:52,500
lt's going to be okay.

1032
01:16:52,574 --> 01:16:54,906
Little Miss Vandergeld walks in...

1033
01:16:54,977 --> 01:16:58,037
and he just forgets all about me.

1034
01:16:59,615 --> 01:17:01,879
Okay, let it out.

1035
01:17:03,552 --> 01:17:04,917
l wonder...

1036
01:17:06,521 --> 01:17:09,012
if he would think she was so hot...

1037
01:17:09,524 --> 01:17:13,824
if he knew that she is broke.

1038
01:17:14,930 --> 01:17:16,659
Vandergeld's broke?

1039
01:17:19,601 --> 01:17:22,502
We mustn't talk of such things.

1040
01:17:22,604 --> 01:17:24,071
No, we won't.

1041
01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:27,640
But, yes, they're broke.

1042
01:17:29,845 --> 01:17:34,305
My father even had to
loan her father money...

1043
01:17:34,449 --> 01:17:37,247
just so that they could keep their house.

1044
01:17:37,386 --> 01:17:39,980
They just paid us back.

1045
01:17:41,356 --> 01:17:44,587
-You guys, l love you guys.
-We love you, too.

1046
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,389
l love you so much!

1047
01:17:47,763 --> 01:17:49,094
Thank you.

1048
01:17:49,164 --> 01:17:51,962
Can we get you some gum
or a mint or something?

1049
01:17:52,968 --> 01:17:54,595
Hey, little girl.

1050
01:17:59,141 --> 01:18:02,235
Really? l love you, too.

1051
01:18:06,214 --> 01:18:09,012
What the hell are you doing? Give me her!

1052
01:18:10,619 --> 01:18:13,087
Sicko. Where's Latrell?

1053
01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:15,254
Dance floor.

1054
01:18:52,561 --> 01:18:54,529
Good morning, snowflake.

1055
01:19:02,738 --> 01:19:04,205
Oh, my God. Brittany!

1056
01:19:05,373 --> 01:19:07,671
-What?
-We're on page six.

1057
01:19:08,110 --> 01:19:09,702
-No.
-Yeah.

1058
01:19:09,778 --> 01:19:13,373
Look. ''Wilson sisters rock Hamptons.''

1059
01:19:17,185 --> 01:19:19,949
-Wilsons rock!
-We rocked!

1060
01:19:21,890 --> 01:19:25,883
Wait. We weren't in the Hamptons
this weekend.

1061
01:19:27,062 --> 01:19:31,328
No! We've been cloned!

1062
01:19:35,904 --> 01:19:38,498
He's got to be around here somewhere.

1063
01:19:38,640 --> 01:19:41,905
Girl, wait a minute.
lsn't that Marcus right there?

1064
01:19:42,544 --> 01:19:46,275
-That's him, all right. Old lying dog!
-Caught you.

1065
01:19:48,917 --> 01:19:50,817
That sounds like Gina.

1066
01:19:51,853 --> 01:19:54,083
-Don't answer it. She'll go away.
-No, she won't.

1067
01:19:54,156 --> 01:19:57,148
l'm not going anywhere
until you open this door!

1068
01:19:57,225 --> 01:20:00,820
-l told you! What am l going to do?
-Just get rid of her.

1069
01:20:01,429 --> 01:20:04,159
l'll get rid of her. You hide the stuff.

1070
01:20:06,334 --> 01:20:09,997
-l'm not playing with you!
-Coming, baby!

1071
01:20:10,338 --> 01:20:12,238
What is all that noise?

1072
01:20:12,474 --> 01:20:14,772
Nothing! Okay, baby, l'm coming!

1073
01:20:19,381 --> 01:20:21,508
l'm coming. Hide.

1074
01:20:25,253 --> 01:20:28,484
Hey, baby! Hi, boo-boo.

1075
01:20:33,228 --> 01:20:36,527
-Nice room you got, Marcus.
-Hey, baby, what you doing here?

1076
01:20:36,598 --> 01:20:38,964
-l could ask you the same question.
-Me?

1077
01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:41,329
l'm on assignment.

1078
01:20:42,037 --> 01:20:44,028
Are you wearing lipstick?

1079
01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:47,435
No. That's Kool-Aid. You want some?

1080
01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:50,945
You know, it's filled with lots of
vitamin C and riboflavin.

1081
01:20:51,012 --> 01:20:52,502
ls that a bra?

1082
01:20:53,415 --> 01:20:54,677
No, this?

1083
01:20:55,050 --> 01:20:58,918
This is the new holsters
they gave us at work.

1084
01:20:58,987 --> 01:21:02,479
They're government issue.
You can put two guns in there and just....

1085
01:21:02,557 --> 01:21:04,047
''Freeze, FBl!''

1086
01:21:04,726 --> 01:21:07,695
-l know somebody's in here.
-Baby, nobody's in here.

1087
01:21:07,762 --> 01:21:10,629
See? Nobody's in here.

1088
01:21:11,933 --> 01:21:14,902
-Check under the bed--
-What do you mean, ''Check under the bed''?

1089
01:21:14,970 --> 01:21:18,133
-l heard somebody on the phone.
-Check under the bed!

1090
01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:21,505
-That's where everybody hides! Check it!
-Marcus! Nobody can fit!

1091
01:21:21,576 --> 01:21:23,703
See, nobody here, right? Nobody there.

1092
01:21:23,778 --> 01:21:27,373
-l'll look in the bathroom.
-Wait! No! Don't check the bathroom!

1093
01:21:29,317 --> 01:21:31,717
You don't want me to check the bathroom!

1094
01:21:34,222 --> 01:21:37,658
See? Nothing in the bathroom.
Nobody in the room. See?

1095
01:21:38,026 --> 01:21:40,358
l told you no one was here. See?

1096
01:21:41,863 --> 01:21:44,024
You know, baby, this gotta stop!

1097
01:21:44,132 --> 01:21:47,033
-We can't have love if we don't have trust.
-l know, but look.

1098
01:21:47,102 --> 01:21:49,730
l was at the restaurant and the card
wouldn't go through--

1099
01:21:49,804 --> 01:21:53,831
Listen. lf we don't have trust,
we don't have nothing.

1100
01:21:54,276 --> 01:21:56,676
This is not about trust. This is about--

1101
01:21:59,247 --> 01:22:01,272
There she is, right there!

1102
01:22:06,321 --> 01:22:08,516
Now, baby. l can explain.

1103
01:22:09,391 --> 01:22:11,689
-l knew it.
-Baby, it's not what you think.

1104
01:22:11,760 --> 01:22:15,161
-Baby, it's not what you think.
-Don't you even say nothing to me!

1105
01:22:15,664 --> 01:22:18,656
l can explain. Baby, it's not what you think.

1106
01:22:19,935 --> 01:22:21,300
He's a man!

1107
01:22:21,636 --> 01:22:23,035
You're sick!

1108
01:22:26,441 --> 01:22:26,474
We have to find them and stop them
before they execute their evil plan.

1109
01:22:26,474 --> 01:22:30,001
We have to find them and stop them
before they execute their evil plan.

1110
01:22:30,078 --> 01:22:32,569
-Wait, what do they look like?
-Duh, us!

1111
01:22:32,647 --> 01:22:34,740
Afternoon, ladies.

1112
01:22:34,849 --> 01:22:37,079
The Chief would like
to have a word with you.

1113
01:22:37,152 --> 01:22:40,053
My God, Tiffany. They're the Men in Black.

1114
01:22:40,755 --> 01:22:41,779
Come on.

1115
01:22:42,190 --> 01:22:45,318
-Easy, Ponch and Jon. My hair!
-Let's move it along, pal.

1116
01:22:45,393 --> 01:22:46,985
-Wait a minute!
-Let's go!

1117
01:22:47,062 --> 01:22:51,556
Chief, we just got confirmation
that Burton's arrived at JFK.

1118
01:22:51,766 --> 01:22:55,668
l want him trailed. Give him plenty of room.
l don't want anyone jumping the gun.

1119
01:22:55,737 --> 01:22:57,864
l want to get this guy red-handed.

1120
01:22:58,173 --> 01:23:00,664
-Get your hands off of me!
-Let's go.

1121
01:23:01,176 --> 01:23:03,303
-Hey, easy!
-Right this way, girls.

1122
01:23:04,746 --> 01:23:07,408
What the hell you guys doing
with the Wilson sisters?

1123
01:23:07,482 --> 01:23:11,350
-Chief, these aren't the Wilson sisters.
-No, sir.

1124
01:23:12,187 --> 01:23:14,348
Chief, check this out.

1125
01:23:16,725 --> 01:23:18,386
My God! What are you doing?

1126
01:23:18,460 --> 01:23:21,088
-That's on there pretty good.
-Let her go.

1127
01:23:21,162 --> 01:23:23,062
That's nothing, Chief.

1128
01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:26,300
How about....

1129
01:23:30,171 --> 01:23:33,072
-Those are nice.
-That's enough!

1130
01:23:34,209 --> 01:23:36,734
l don't know how he did that...

1131
01:23:37,112 --> 01:23:39,239
but you can't fake these.

1132
01:23:53,495 --> 01:23:57,727
My God! Look who's here.
lt's that beautiful--

1133
01:23:57,799 --> 01:23:59,027
Save it!

1134
01:24:00,969 --> 01:24:03,961
Because of you, l had to suspend
two of my best agents!

1135
01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:07,133
-Chief, l can explain.
-l don't want to hear it!

1136
01:24:07,242 --> 01:24:10,006
You're just lucky we caught Burton
before he could strike.

1137
01:24:10,078 --> 01:24:12,239
But Burton is not our guy!

1138
01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:14,879
Let me guess: Women's intuition?

1139
01:24:15,784 --> 01:24:16,910
You're both fired.

1140
01:24:16,985 --> 01:24:19,647
Turn in your guns and your badges.
This operation is over!

1141
01:24:19,721 --> 01:24:22,815
-Come on, Chief! You can't fire us.
-l just did.

1142
01:24:26,594 --> 01:24:29,062
Forget him, Marcus. We can do this ourself.

1143
01:24:29,130 --> 01:24:31,621
-Look, all we got to do is--
-Wait.

1144
01:24:32,367 --> 01:24:34,858
''We''? Kevin, this ain't about ''we.''

1145
01:24:35,403 --> 01:24:37,598
lt's never been. lt's about you.

1146
01:24:37,672 --> 01:24:41,164
You come up with some stupid idea
and l'm dumb enough to go along with it.

1147
01:24:41,242 --> 01:24:43,073
And look where it's gotten me, Kevin.

1148
01:24:43,144 --> 01:24:46,136
l just lost my wife and my job
because of you.

1149
01:24:46,214 --> 01:24:49,274
So don't tell me about ''we'' no more,
all right?

1150
01:24:51,486 --> 01:24:54,114
They bought it. The FBl is packing up.

1151
01:24:54,622 --> 01:24:57,591
They'll be out of our hair in a couple hours.

1152
01:24:57,659 --> 01:24:59,957
We could make the grab tonight.

1153
01:25:00,061 --> 01:25:03,258
You sure you and your friend
can get the job done?

1154
01:25:05,834 --> 01:25:07,961
Would l let you down, Mr. V?

1155
01:25:12,907 --> 01:25:16,900
-Hey, man. l just want to say sorry.
-Forget about it, dude.

1156
01:25:16,978 --> 01:25:21,244
No. You're right. You're absolutely right.
l've been selfish.

1157
01:25:21,316 --> 01:25:26,151
l'm always dragging you into everything.
l never even asked what you want to do.

1158
01:25:26,554 --> 01:25:30,149
l don't know, there's something about
always having you around, that just...

1159
01:25:30,225 --> 01:25:32,625
makes me want to step up my game.

1160
01:25:32,861 --> 01:25:36,661
l guess it's because l always know
you're gonna have my back.

1161
01:25:40,168 --> 01:25:41,328
Hello?

1162
01:25:43,004 --> 01:25:44,198
Thanks.

1163
01:25:46,908 --> 01:25:48,808
-Who was that?
-That was Josh.

1164
01:25:48,877 --> 01:25:52,836
Turns out that Vandergeld's prints
was all over the ransom note.

1165
01:25:53,948 --> 01:25:55,848
-What are you doing?
-Calling the Chief.

1166
01:25:55,917 --> 01:25:59,114
No, you ain't! You said we could do this
on our own, right?

1167
01:25:59,187 --> 01:26:00,654
What about backup?

1168
01:26:00,722 --> 01:26:03,714
l got you, you got me.
That's all the backup we need.

1169
01:26:03,791 --> 01:26:05,918
Triple T-K-A.

1170
01:26:06,294 --> 01:26:09,491
Time to totally kick ass!

1171
01:26:17,238 --> 01:26:21,572
Three generations at the Bureau
and l'm the first to get fired.

1172
01:26:22,277 --> 01:26:24,370
My dad is going to kill me!

1173
01:26:25,513 --> 01:26:27,344
Yeah? What? Who?

1174
01:26:29,350 --> 01:26:32,842
-Copeland!
-Copeland, you dick!

1175
01:26:33,388 --> 01:26:35,879
You've got a lot of nerve, calling.

1176
01:26:35,990 --> 01:26:37,150
Where?

1177
01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:42,420
-You better not be wrong about this.
-What?

1178
01:26:42,497 --> 01:26:45,660
-We might be getting our jobs back.
-What are you talking about?

1179
01:26:45,733 --> 01:26:48,531
-We gotta go.
-What do you mean, go?

1180
01:26:48,870 --> 01:26:51,668
How about this?
RuPaul or Whoopi Goldberg?

1181
01:26:52,907 --> 01:26:55,501
-l told you, l'm not playing your games.
-Come on!

1182
01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:15,919
-Any sign of Vandergeld?
-l don't see him.

1183
01:27:15,997 --> 01:27:18,056
All right, keep an eye out for him.

1184
01:27:18,132 --> 01:27:20,327
lf it's going down,
it's going to go down here.

1185
01:27:20,401 --> 01:27:22,961
Thank God! There you are! l did it.

1186
01:27:23,271 --> 01:27:26,729
-You did what?
-l got you into the fashion show!

1187
01:27:27,442 --> 01:27:32,072
Brittany, did you hear that?
We're in the fashion show.

1188
01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:35,108
Not if we don't get moving.
Come on, let's go!

1189
01:27:35,183 --> 01:27:39,244
-Get the lead out, ladies.
-l mean, it's like you forgot.

1190
01:27:42,023 --> 01:27:44,514
-You mean the Wilson sisters are in?
-And we're out?

1191
01:27:44,592 --> 01:27:48,892
l'm sorry. That's just the way it is.
They're hot, you're not! So deal with it.

1192
01:27:48,963 --> 01:27:51,830
-You! Straighten up that blouse, now!
-That's impossible!

1193
01:27:51,899 --> 01:27:55,801
We've been on that catwalk every summer
for six years straight!

1194
01:27:56,204 --> 01:27:58,331
Let's just cut to the chase.

1195
01:27:58,740 --> 01:28:02,801
Who do we have to sleep with
for us to get in the show?

1196
01:28:03,177 --> 01:28:06,442
Honey, you're so
barking up the wrong tree right now. Really!

1197
01:28:06,514 --> 01:28:09,449
lf you nail this, you're a shoo-in
for the cover of Hamptons.

1198
01:28:09,517 --> 01:28:11,951
Darlings! Where have you been?

1199
01:28:12,920 --> 01:28:14,387
Megan! Don't!

1200
01:28:15,056 --> 01:28:16,853
This is unacceptable.

1201
01:28:17,558 --> 01:28:20,186
They just messed with the wrong girls!

1202
01:28:21,162 --> 01:28:23,153
l've been looking everywhere for you.

1203
01:28:23,231 --> 01:28:27,190
Can we get the Wilson sisters
their outfits now, please? Go.

1204
01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:34,734
-Can we talk?
-Of course.

1205
01:28:35,877 --> 01:28:38,209
You were incredible at the nightclub
last night.

1206
01:28:38,279 --> 01:28:40,440
-Thank you. Thanks.
-lncredible.

1207
01:28:40,515 --> 01:28:44,212
And Heather will be leaving after the party
tonight, and l was thinking...

1208
01:28:44,285 --> 01:28:47,345
maybe you could come by around 2:00?

1209
01:28:48,556 --> 01:28:50,285
Make that 3:00 a.m.

1210
01:28:58,599 --> 01:29:00,089
You know what?

1211
01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:02,963
l don't think so.

1212
01:29:03,137 --> 01:29:04,468
Excuse me?

1213
01:29:04,839 --> 01:29:07,171
You think l'm just a booty call.

1214
01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:09,365
Well, l'm not.

1215
01:29:10,912 --> 01:29:13,005
l deserve better than that.

1216
01:29:14,148 --> 01:29:16,480
l'm tired of being your doormat.

1217
01:29:21,889 --> 01:29:23,117
Honey...

1218
01:29:24,459 --> 01:29:27,257
what makes you think you're that special?

1219
01:29:30,565 --> 01:29:32,692
-Bastard.
-Excuse me.

1220
01:29:33,735 --> 01:29:34,963
Asswipe!

1221
01:29:42,343 --> 01:29:45,278
-You're going to regret that.
-l'm so scared.

1222
01:29:46,447 --> 01:29:48,506
Oh, my God! Tiffany!

1223
01:29:49,851 --> 01:29:53,787
-Thank you so much, honey.
-l am so proud of you.

1224
01:29:53,921 --> 01:29:57,084
Thanks. l just wish l didn't feel so crappy.

1225
01:29:57,925 --> 01:29:59,119
Honey.

1226
01:29:59,861 --> 01:30:03,160
Sometimes a man can't see
when he has someone so special...

1227
01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:05,461
sitting right in front of him.

1228
01:30:06,134 --> 01:30:08,625
Are you, like, a lesbian?

1229
01:30:12,373 --> 01:30:14,705
-l better go get changed.
-Okay.

1230
01:30:15,943 --> 01:30:19,071
Ladies and gentlemen,
this evening we are proud to present...

1231
01:30:19,147 --> 01:30:23,345
the fall couture line, Aubrey Allure.
Please take your seats.

1232
01:30:25,019 --> 01:30:26,919
-Excuse me?
-You're not on the list.

1233
01:30:26,988 --> 01:30:30,151
lnvitation, my ass!
They don't know how we do it.

1234
01:30:31,125 --> 01:30:33,320
-Let's just blend.
-All right.

1235
01:30:52,113 --> 01:30:54,240
Go! Get going! Move it!

1236
01:31:01,088 --> 01:31:03,716
Didn't we just have this conversation?

1237
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:07,227
Can we get these fantastic supermodels...

1238
01:31:07,295 --> 01:31:10,264
-back into their dressing rooms?
-l can't believe it!

1239
01:31:44,932 --> 01:31:47,366
-They changed that quick!
-Amazing!

1240
01:31:56,644 --> 01:31:59,477
These ought to get the critics' attention.

1241
01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:36,107
Second changes, everybody! Go! Now!

1242
01:32:37,118 --> 01:32:39,416
This'll be a nice little treat.

1243
01:33:04,412 --> 01:33:06,141
My God! What's happening?

1244
01:33:07,715 --> 01:33:09,307
That's not mine!

1245
01:33:10,184 --> 01:33:11,776
Let's get out of here!

1246
01:33:12,053 --> 01:33:13,315
l'm sorry!

1247
01:33:19,393 --> 01:33:22,021
Just give me your hand. lt'll be okay.

1248
01:33:25,333 --> 01:33:27,324
l'm so sorry. Oh!

1249
01:33:28,369 --> 01:33:30,166
Come here! l got you!

1250
01:33:32,640 --> 01:33:34,164
Here we go. Up!

1251
01:33:37,044 --> 01:33:38,773
-My God!
-l hope she's okay.

1252
01:33:38,846 --> 01:33:40,211
l'm ruined.

1253
01:33:45,086 --> 01:33:49,250
Looks like some people just don't know
when to quit. Come on, girls.

1254
01:33:50,825 --> 01:33:52,918
-Help me.
-l got you.

1255
01:33:57,698 --> 01:33:59,859
Karen, what are you doing?

1256
01:33:59,934 --> 01:34:03,870
Look, someone has got to give those girls
a taste of their own medicine.

1257
01:34:24,425 --> 01:34:28,452
So revolutionary! lt's so bold and so....

1258
01:34:29,397 --> 01:34:30,864
So brilliant!

1259
01:34:56,023 --> 01:34:58,457
Everybody, they're imposters!

1260
01:35:02,930 --> 01:35:04,454
Hit the lights.

1261
01:35:29,223 --> 01:35:30,850
Where's Brittany?

1262
01:35:35,763 --> 01:35:37,253
Where are you?

1263
01:35:53,614 --> 01:35:54,876
Get down!

1264
01:36:01,422 --> 01:36:04,118
l told you you were going to regret it.

1265
01:36:04,258 --> 01:36:07,352
You hit like a bitch! Come on.

1266
01:36:08,863 --> 01:36:11,661
You run and l'll shoot you. Come on.

1267
01:36:25,079 --> 01:36:27,240
-My turn.
-Mama?

1268
01:36:29,917 --> 01:36:32,078
Girl, we going to need some backup.

1269
01:36:33,888 --> 01:36:35,378
Girl, call NayNay and LaQuanda.

1270
01:36:35,456 --> 01:36:37,981
Tell them to bring the Vaseline
and the straight razors.

1271
01:36:38,058 --> 01:36:39,650
These bitches are on some other shit!

1272
01:36:39,727 --> 01:36:41,319
What's going on?

1273
01:36:41,729 --> 01:36:44,596
-Don't touch my dress!
-Vandergeld's got Tiffany!

1274
01:36:44,665 --> 01:36:48,101
What? No one messes with my queen!

1275
01:36:48,235 --> 01:36:50,032
Marcus! Are you okay?

1276
01:36:50,604 --> 01:36:52,333
-No.
-What's wrong?

1277
01:36:52,940 --> 01:36:55,465
These damn G-strings are killing me!

1278
01:36:59,046 --> 01:37:01,139
-Freeze!
-FBl.

1279
01:37:02,883 --> 01:37:05,681
You guys take care of them.
We're going after Vandergeld.

1280
01:37:05,753 --> 01:37:08,278
Copeland! You're going to need this.

1281
01:37:09,824 --> 01:37:11,485
Come on, let's go.

1282
01:37:13,561 --> 01:37:15,153
FBl! Freeze!

1283
01:37:18,065 --> 01:37:19,692
Daddy, what are you doing?

1284
01:37:19,767 --> 01:37:23,032
Why don't you take your mother
and your sister and go on home?

1285
01:37:23,103 --> 01:37:25,333
Daddy, why are you doing this?

1286
01:37:25,406 --> 01:37:27,897
Daddy didn't tell you? He's broke.

1287
01:37:27,975 --> 01:37:29,806
What do you mean, broke?

1288
01:37:29,877 --> 01:37:32,812
Like Martha Stewart broke
or MC Hammer broke?

1289
01:37:33,147 --> 01:37:35,911
-MC Hammer broke!
-No!

1290
01:37:36,317 --> 01:37:41,118
l've been funneling money out of the charity
into a private account, just to get us by!

1291
01:37:43,824 --> 01:37:45,792
Are you filming this?

1292
01:37:47,061 --> 01:37:49,461
l'll give you something to shoot!

1293
01:37:51,365 --> 01:37:53,890
-Get out of my way!
-l can't do that.

1294
01:37:58,639 --> 01:37:59,867
Drop it!

1295
01:38:04,545 --> 01:38:07,571
l got you, man. Man, we'll get that stain out.
Don't even worry.

1296
01:38:07,648 --> 01:38:09,013
Don't move!

1297
01:38:09,583 --> 01:38:12,313
Warren Vandergeld, you are under arrest!

1298
01:38:14,488 --> 01:38:18,754
l just want to tell you, l appreciate
what you did. That was real brave of you.

1299
01:38:18,826 --> 01:38:23,763
l had no choice. l couldn't let them take
my one true love away.

1300
01:38:25,699 --> 01:38:28,827
Hey, dude. l'm not what you think l am.

1301
01:38:30,537 --> 01:38:34,166
Baby, we all got secrets. That's okay.

1302
01:38:40,648 --> 01:38:45,312
Are you telling me that you are not....

1303
01:38:45,419 --> 01:38:47,649
-Yeah. l'm not a woman.
-White?

1304
01:38:48,455 --> 01:38:52,186
The deception! The betrayal, man!
You deceived me!

1305
01:38:52,259 --> 01:38:54,750
Calm down. l'm an FBl agent.
l was uncovering a--

1306
01:38:54,828 --> 01:38:56,318
Negro, please!

1307
01:38:57,197 --> 01:39:00,291
Didn't somebody tell you
this was an all-white party?

1308
01:39:00,367 --> 01:39:02,995
Someone get this jigaboo away from me!

1309
01:39:03,237 --> 01:39:04,704
Are you okay?

1310
01:39:05,039 --> 01:39:07,234
Yes, l'm fine. Thank you.

1311
01:39:07,608 --> 01:39:10,668
So, do l get to see my knight
in shining armor?

1312
01:39:11,045 --> 01:39:12,808
-Well....
-Get a leg!

1313
01:39:14,281 --> 01:39:15,646
Get off me!

1314
01:39:15,816 --> 01:39:18,080
What do you mean?
l'm going to let you have it!

1315
01:39:18,152 --> 01:39:20,313
-You ain't never met nobody like me!
-lt's me!

1316
01:39:20,387 --> 01:39:23,379
You don't know who you messing with!
My name's Gina!

1317
01:39:23,457 --> 01:39:24,685
lt's me.

1318
01:39:32,266 --> 01:39:34,757
This is some Jerry Springer shit!

1319
01:39:37,171 --> 01:39:41,870
Once again, you guys managed to do
everything l told you not to do.

1320
01:39:42,576 --> 01:39:45,977
You caused over $250,000 worth of damage.

1321
01:39:46,246 --> 01:39:48,043
Two people were shot.

1322
01:39:49,616 --> 01:39:53,416
But at least you got the right guy.

1323
01:39:53,787 --> 01:39:56,153
-Good work.
-Thanks a lot, Chief.

1324
01:39:56,223 --> 01:39:58,748
But we couldn't have done it
without Gomez and Harper.

1325
01:39:58,826 --> 01:40:02,125
All right,
l'll see you all in the office tomorrow.

1326
01:40:03,263 --> 01:40:04,855
Good work, guys.

1327
01:40:06,333 --> 01:40:09,302
Who will be featured
on the cover of Hamptons Magazine?

1328
01:40:09,370 --> 01:40:11,964
l have to take care of some business.

1329
01:40:12,172 --> 01:40:14,037
See you guys on Monday.

1330
01:40:14,108 --> 01:40:17,475
So, who do you think wore those panties
you were sniffing?

1331
01:40:17,544 --> 01:40:19,136
Kevin or Marcus?

1332
01:40:19,380 --> 01:40:22,872
-Gomez, l told you. l was looking for DNA.
-Oh, yeah.

1333
01:40:24,418 --> 01:40:26,818
What are you laughing at, ''Denzel''?

1334
01:40:26,887 --> 01:40:29,481
''Oh, what a beautiful chocolate man!''

1335
01:40:31,425 --> 01:40:32,983
You guys got some work to do?

1336
01:40:33,060 --> 01:40:35,290
l'm Denise Porter. Good night.

1337
01:40:41,602 --> 01:40:44,833
l'm Kevin Copeland. l'm an FBl agent.

1338
01:40:46,473 --> 01:40:48,964
l make $30,000 a year after taxes.

1339
01:40:49,276 --> 01:40:52,973
l don't drive a Bentley
and l don't have a house on a hill.

1340
01:40:53,480 --> 01:40:56,040
But l'd really like to take you out.

1341
01:40:57,117 --> 01:41:00,245
Are you kidding me? Any man...

1342
01:41:02,423 --> 01:41:05,415
who would jump in front of a bullet for me...

1343
01:41:06,326 --> 01:41:08,726
can definitely take me on a date.

1344
01:41:14,068 --> 01:41:16,536
-Come on, girl, let's go.
-Wait, could l just please--

1345
01:41:16,603 --> 01:41:20,630
-l have nothing more to say to you.
-l know. Just listen to me, please.

1346
01:41:20,741 --> 01:41:22,606
Gina, l lied to you.

1347
01:41:23,410 --> 01:41:25,401
l've hid things from you.

1348
01:41:25,679 --> 01:41:29,206
But l have never cheated on you.
But l am guilty.

1349
01:41:30,451 --> 01:41:33,909
l'm guilty of paying more attention
to my job than l do my wife.

1350
01:41:33,987 --> 01:41:37,354
l'm guilty of not appreciating
all the little things you do for me.

1351
01:41:37,424 --> 01:41:39,551
Like getting your hair done.

1352
01:41:40,561 --> 01:41:44,190
Wearing that sweet-smelling Chanel
cologne l love so much.

1353
01:41:44,331 --> 01:41:49,200
But my biggest crime is that
l didn't tell you l loved you every single day.

1354
01:41:50,504 --> 01:41:54,338
-You're not going to let him off that easy.
-Will you shut up?

1355
01:41:58,479 --> 01:41:59,844
l love you.

1356
01:42:07,221 --> 01:42:08,381
A wheelchair?

1357
01:42:08,455 --> 01:42:11,652
Yes, but the feeling will come back,
l promise.

1358
01:42:11,859 --> 01:42:14,794
Making my way downtown
Walking fast

1359
01:42:14,862 --> 01:42:16,955
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

1360
01:42:17,030 --> 01:42:18,497
Backup, Tony.

1361
01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:21,261
Hey, girls.

1362
01:42:25,372 --> 01:42:29,672
So you guys were pretending to be them
the entire time?

1363
01:42:29,743 --> 01:42:32,644
Yes, we were.
But we was only doing our job.

1364
01:42:33,180 --> 01:42:35,648
l hope you guys aren't too pissed off at us.

1365
01:42:35,716 --> 01:42:37,308
We're so bummed!

1366
01:42:39,553 --> 01:42:42,078
We liked Brittany and Tiffany...

1367
01:42:42,189 --> 01:42:44,783
so much more when you were them.

1368
01:42:45,792 --> 01:42:47,521
So much more!

1369
01:42:48,629 --> 01:42:51,996
So l guess this means
we won't be hanging out any more?

1370
01:42:52,065 --> 01:42:54,932
Don't say that. Of course, we will hang out.

1371
01:42:55,002 --> 01:42:57,732
Oh, yeah. We'll all get together
and we're gonna go...

1372
01:42:57,804 --> 01:43:00,238
shopping!

1373
01:43:00,239 --> 01:45:07,813
^ xSilver ^