1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,667 OH, TO THINK! TO THINK THAT THIS GREAT MAN 4 00:01:00,751 --> 00:01:02,751 IS COMING TO OUR HOUSE FOR DINNER! 5 00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,459 ERNEST, ERNEST, AREN'T YOU THRILLED? 6 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,167 DEPENDS. WHAT'RE WE HAVING FOR DINNER? 7 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:07,667 ERNEST! 8 00:01:07,751 --> 00:01:09,792 IF HE'S GONNA SHAVE AT OUR HOUSE, 9 00:01:09,876 --> 00:01:11,959 HE'S NOT GONNA USE MY RAZOR. HUSH, ERNEST. 10 00:01:12,042 --> 00:01:13,083 SOMEBODY WILL HEAR YOU. 11 00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:14,042 HELLO, LONI. 12 00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:15,417 MR. WHITESIDE'S BEARD 13 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,209 IS WHAT MAKES HIM SO DISTINGUISHED. 14 00:01:17,292 --> 00:01:18,334 IT IS, HUH? 15 00:01:18,417 --> 00:01:20,250 YOU JUST HIDE MY RAZOR FOR 3 DAYS. 16 00:01:20,334 --> 00:01:23,209 MAYBE I'LL LOOK DISTINGUISHED ENOUGH TO GET $1,500 A LECTURE. 17 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,250 HAVEN'T YOU A BIT OF CULTURE IN YOU? 18 00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,834 HAVEN'T YOU ANY RESPECT FOR THIS-- 19 00:01:26,918 --> 00:01:29,125 THIS FIRST MAN OF AMERICAN LETTERS? 20 00:01:29,209 --> 00:01:31,375 HE MAY BE THE FIRST MAN OF AMERICAN LETTERS, 21 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,000 BUT DON'T FORGET-- I RATE PRETTY HIGH IN BALL BEARINGS. 22 00:01:34,083 --> 00:01:36,918 AT LEAST I'M IN A DEFENSE INDUSTRY. OH, ERNEST. 23 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,918 I'M SO EXCITED! 24 00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:47,375 I SIMPLY WILL NOT SIT DOWN AT DINNER 25 00:01:47,459 --> 00:01:48,834 WITH MIDWESTERN BARBARIANS. 26 00:01:48,918 --> 00:01:51,083 I THINK TOO HIGHLY OF MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM. 27 00:01:51,167 --> 00:01:53,792 HARRY CLARK IS ONE OF YOUR OLDEST FRIENDS. 28 00:01:53,876 --> 00:01:55,500 MY STOMACH IS AN OLDER ONE. 29 00:01:55,584 --> 00:01:57,876 AND MRS. STANLEY IS PRESIDENT OF THE WOMEN'S CLUB. 30 00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:00,334 I WOULDN'T CARE IF SHE WAS THE WHOLE CABINET. 31 00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,918 AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO HARRY'S FUTURE LECTURE BOOKINGS. 32 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,709 YOU CAN'T LET HIM DOWN. 33 00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:09,709 ERNEST, THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS! 34 00:02:09,792 --> 00:02:11,626 THAT'S PROBABLY MRS. STANLEY. 35 00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:13,042 OHH! 36 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,250 I WON'T BUDGE. 37 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,292 COME ON, BABYKINS. 38 00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:17,250 HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS PICTURE, 39 00:02:17,334 --> 00:02:18,709 DOESN'T HE? OH! 40 00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:19,709 YOU KNOW, SHERRY, 41 00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:21,000 YOU HAVE ONE GREAT ADVANTAGE 42 00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:22,500 OVER EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD. 43 00:02:22,584 --> 00:02:24,751 YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO MEET SHERIDAN WHITESIDE. 44 00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,709 OH, MR. WHITESIDE! PLEASE! PLEASE! 45 00:02:26,792 --> 00:02:29,083 MAY I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH? 46 00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:30,417 STAND BACK, PLEASE. 47 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:31,959 DON'T COME TOO CLOSE. 48 00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:34,042 I HAVE SEVERAL CONTAGIOUS DISEASES. 49 00:02:34,125 --> 00:02:35,417 MAGGIE, MY DEAR, 50 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,918 WOULD YOU RUN INTERFERENCE FOR ME? 51 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,500 Maggie: WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP BACK? 52 00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:41,334 MR. WHITESIDE IS IN A GREAT RUSH. 53 00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:42,834 OH, DEAR MR. WHITESIDE. 54 00:02:42,918 --> 00:02:45,375 I'M MRS. ERNEST STANLEY, AND THIS IS MR. STANLEY. 55 00:02:45,459 --> 00:02:47,584 YOU ARE COMING TO DINNER, AREN'T YOU? 56 00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,751 MRS. STANLEY, MR. WHITESIDE IS HAVING HIS LITTLE JOKE. 57 00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:55,667 HE'D BE DELIGHTED TO COME TO DINNER. 58 00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,083 OH, HOW NICE OF YOU! 59 00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:58,918 I'M MISS CUTLER, MR. WHITESIDE'S SECRETARY. 60 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,918 OH, AND YOU WILL COME, TOO, OF COURSE. 61 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,250 OH, MR. WHITESIDE, IT IS SIMPLY WONDERFUL! 62 00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:04,834 DID YOU HAVE A PLEASANT TRIP? 63 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,000 CHARMING. 64 00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:08,459 I KILLED A WOMAN IN THE NEXT COMPARTMENT. 65 00:03:08,542 --> 00:03:10,083 SHE ASKED ME TO LUNCH. 66 00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:11,334 OH! HA HA HA! 67 00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,250 HAVE YOU LADIES SEEN MR. WHITESIDE? 68 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,000 OH, THANKS A LOT. 69 00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,876 BE SURE THAT GOES TO THE MANSION HOUSE. YES, SIR. 70 00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:26,417 I'M SORRY I'M LATE, MR. WHITESIDE. 71 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,000 I'M JEFFERSON OF THE MESALIA JOURNAL. 72 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,125 MIND IF I ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS? 73 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:31,709 MIND IF I ASK YOU ONE? 74 00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:32,834 OF COURSE NOT. 75 00:03:32,918 --> 00:03:34,626 HAVE YOU GOT A DOLLAR? 76 00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:36,167 WHY, SURE. 77 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,042 THANK YOU. 78 00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:41,542 HOPE IT'S NOT COUNTERFEIT. 79 00:03:41,626 --> 00:03:42,626 THANK YOU, SIR. 80 00:03:42,709 --> 00:03:44,459 DRIVE ON! 81 00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,417 WELL, HERE WE ARE. 82 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,125 OF COURSE, MESALIA ISN'T A BIG TOWN, MR. WHITESIDE, 83 00:04:08,209 --> 00:04:09,626 BUT IT'S SIMPLY FILLED WITH CULTURE. 84 00:04:09,709 --> 00:04:11,918 THE NIGHT YOU LECTURE, EVERYONE STAYS HOME, 85 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000 EXCEPT IF ERROL FLYNN IS PLAYING, OF COURSE. 86 00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:15,751 MESALIA HAS MANY POINTS OF INTEREST. 87 00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:16,834 THERE'S THE CRYSTAL CAVE. 88 00:04:16,918 --> 00:04:18,667 THAT'S JUST A SHORT DRIVE FROM HERE. 89 00:04:18,751 --> 00:04:20,042 AND THE PETRIFIED ANIMALS. 90 00:04:20,125 --> 00:04:22,000 ARE THEY COMING TO DINNER, TOO? 91 00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:23,042 HA HA HA! 92 00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:24,459 OH! 93 00:04:24,542 --> 00:04:26,000 AH! AH! AH! 94 00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,125 OH! OH, MAGGIE! MAGGIE! 95 00:04:30,209 --> 00:04:32,834 OH! OH! OH, MAGGIE! 96 00:04:32,918 --> 00:04:36,167 GET ME OUT OF HERE! OH! OH! 97 00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:58,542 OKAY. OKAY. 98 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,876 HEY, SHERIDAN WHITESIDE FELL ON HIS-- 99 00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:04,626 PRATT, GIVE ME 500 WORDS ON THAT. 100 00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:07,500 YES, MISS BARRYMORE. I'LL SEE THAT HE GETS YOUR MESSAGE. 101 00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:20,125 BUT IT IS HOPED THAT MR. WHITESIDE 102 00:05:20,209 --> 00:05:21,918 WILL BE ABLE TO RESUME HIS BROADCASTS 103 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,375 ON CHRISTMAS EVE. NOW A WORD TO THOSE WHO HAVE ATHLETE'S FOOT. 104 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:28,167 I THINK THE DOCTOR SAID IN ABOUT A WEEK. 105 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,667 YES. HE'S STILL CONFINED TO HIS ROOM. 106 00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:33,083 PACKAGE FOR MR. WHITESIDE. 107 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,709 TELEGRAMS FOR SHERIDAN WHITESIDE. 108 00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:37,417 FLOWERS FOR MR. WHITESIDE. 109 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,250 WHEELCHAIR FOR MR. WHITESIDE. 110 00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:52,834 "THE IDOL OF THE AIRWAYS RESTS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE 111 00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:55,292 "AT THE HOME OF SURPRISED MR. AND MRS. STANLEY 112 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:56,751 "OF MESALIA, OHIO. 113 00:05:56,834 --> 00:06:00,626 POSSIBILITY--CHRISTMAS MAY BE POSTPONED THIS YEAR." 114 00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:02,209 OH! 115 00:06:02,292 --> 00:06:04,542 OH, HOW IS HE? 116 00:06:04,626 --> 00:06:05,584 IS HE COMING OUT? 117 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,876 I'LL GO, MOTHER. OH, ALRIGHT, RICHARD. 118 00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:11,626 WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT IS IT, JOHN? 119 00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:14,250 THEY WANT PILLOWS. THEY WANT PILLOWS. 120 00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:17,083 ANYTHING I CAN DO, MISS PREEN? NO, THANK YOU. 121 00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,918 Whiteside: TAKE YOUR FISHHOOKS OFF ME! 122 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,417 OH! 123 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,042 2 MORE PACKAGES AND MORE TELEGRAMS. 124 00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:26,000 DAD'S GOING CRAZY UPSTAIRS WITH THAT BELL RINGING ALL THE TIME. 125 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:28,667 WILL YOU ANSWER IT, DARLING? WHAT DID YOU SAY, RICHARD? 126 00:06:28,751 --> 00:06:29,792 ONE'S FROM SAN FRANCISCO, 127 00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:31,125 AND ONE'S FROM NEW YORK. 128 00:06:31,209 --> 00:06:33,000 THERE WAS SOMETHING FROM ALASKA THIS MORNING. 129 00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:34,334 A BABY SEAL, I THINK. 130 00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:35,918 OH, REALLY? 131 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,167 Miss Preen: I'LL GET THEM RIGHT AWAY. 132 00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,834 HE WANTS THE METROPOLITAN CLUB CIGARETTES. 133 00:06:40,918 --> 00:06:42,459 M-M-METROPOLITAN CLUB? 134 00:06:42,542 --> 00:06:45,000 THEY HAVE THEM AT KITCHENER'S. I'LL GET SOME. 135 00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:47,626 HERE YOU ARE. HERE ARE THE PILLOWS. THANK YOU. 136 00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:49,626 TELL ME, ARE THEY BRINGING HIM OUT SOON? 137 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,584 WE'RE GETTING HIM OUTTA BED. HE OUGHT TO BE OUT SOON. 138 00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:53,959 OH, I'M SO GLAD. 139 00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:57,000 Whiteside: DOESN'T THAT BIRDBRAIN OF YOURS 140 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,709 EVER FUNCTION?! 141 00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:00,375 HE MUST BE VERY HAPPY. 142 00:07:00,459 --> 00:07:03,834 2:00? YES. I'M SURE HE COULD TALK THEN. ALRIGHT. 143 00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:05,751 MOTHER, WHO DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT WAS? 144 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:07,417 WINSTON CHURCHILL FROM LONDON! 145 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,334 WINSTON CHURCHILL ON OUR TELEPHONE! 146 00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:11,500 I'LL BE UPSTAIRS IF YOU WANT ME, MOTHER. 147 00:07:11,584 --> 00:07:12,959 WHAT? OH, YES. 148 00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:15,667 TELL YOUR FATHER TO COME DOWN. MR. WHITESIDE'S COMING OUT. 149 00:07:15,751 --> 00:07:16,792 YES, YOU'LL CALL ME? 150 00:07:16,876 --> 00:07:17,876 OF COURSE, DARLING. 151 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,292 MR. WHITESIDE IS COMING OUT! 152 00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:20,834 DAISY, I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER. 153 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,584 ERNEST, HE'S COMING OUT ANY MINUTE, 154 00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,417 AND WINSTON CHURCHILL WAS ON THE TELEPHONE. 155 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,167 WE'RE IN ALL THE NATIONAL NEWSMAGAZINES. LOOK. 156 00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:28,459 "THE IDOL OF THE AIRWAYS RESTS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE 157 00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:31,500 "IN THE HOME OF MR. AND MRS. STANLEY IN MESALIA OHIO. 158 00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:33,918 POSSIBILITY-- CHRISTMAS MAY BE POSTPONED THIS YEAR." 159 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 160 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:36,500 I'M SURE IT'S A GREAT HONOR, 161 00:07:36,584 --> 00:07:38,250 BUT I DON'T LIKE THIS KINDA PUBLICITY. 162 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,876 IT'S A LITTLE UPSETTING. PHONES RINGING ALL THE TIME, 163 00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:43,000 BELLS RINGING, MESSENGER BOYS RUNNING IN AND OUT. 164 00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,167 Whiteside: TRAPPED LIKE A RAT IN THIS CHEESEBOX! 165 00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,209 I BEG YOUR PARDON. 166 00:07:46,292 --> 00:07:47,584 HAVE THE CIGARETTES COME YET? 167 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:50,167 THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY. MY SON WENT FOR THEM. 168 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,334 DO YOU MIND IF I MOVE THIS CHAIR? 169 00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:53,918 YOU MEAN HE'S COMING OUT NOW? 170 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,250 HE IS INDEED. 171 00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,918 OH! JUNE! JUNE! MR. WHITESIDE'S COMING OUT! 172 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,626 SARAH! SARAH! BRING ME A GLASS OF THE COW'S-FOOT JELLY 173 00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:01,959 I MADE FOR MR. WHITESIDE. 174 00:08:02,042 --> 00:08:04,167 I'M EXCITED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 175 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,459 OH, ME, TOO! 176 00:08:05,542 --> 00:08:08,709 OH, THANK YOU, SARAH. THANK YOU. 177 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:09,709 GOOD MORNING, DR. BRADLEY. 178 00:08:09,792 --> 00:08:11,000 GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING. 179 00:08:11,083 --> 00:08:12,834 WELL, HERE WE ARE, MERRY AND BRIGHT. 180 00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:14,959 BRING IN OUR LITTLE PATIENT, MISS PREEN. 181 00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:32,167 GOOD MORNING, MR. WHITESIDE. 182 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,751 I'M MRS. ERNEST STANLEY. REMEMBER? 183 00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:38,125 AND THIS IS MY HUSBAND. HOW DO YOU DO? I HOPE YOU'RE BETTER. 184 00:08:38,209 --> 00:08:42,751 THANK YOU. I AM SUING YOU FOR $150,000. 185 00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:44,083 HOW'S THAT? WHAT? 186 00:08:44,167 --> 00:08:48,125 I SAID THAT I AM SUING YOU FOR $150,000. 187 00:08:48,209 --> 00:08:51,083 YOU MEAN BECAUSE YOU FELL ON OUR STEPS, MR. WHITESIDE? 188 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:53,709 THOMAS E. DEWEY WILL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU IN COURT. 189 00:08:53,792 --> 00:08:56,375 WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE LIKE THE KISS OF DEATH? 190 00:08:56,459 --> 00:08:58,292 OH, MY COW'S-FOOT JELLY! 191 00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,709 MADE FROM YOUR OWN FOOT, I HAVE NO DOUBT. 192 00:09:00,792 --> 00:09:03,834 THERE ARE A FEW SMALL MATTERS TO TAKE UP WITH YOU. 193 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:07,292 SINCE THIS CORNER DRUGGIST AT MY ELBOW TELLS ME THAT I SHALL BE 194 00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:08,626 CONFINED TO THIS MOLDY MORTUARY 195 00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:10,083 FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER 10 DAYS-- 196 00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:13,500 DUE ENTIRELY TO YOUR STUPIDITY AND NEGLIGENCE-- 197 00:09:13,584 --> 00:09:16,626 I SHALL HAVE TO CARRY ON MY ACTIVITIES AS BEST I CAN. 198 00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,626 I SHALL REQUIRE EXCLUSIVE USE OF THIS ROOM, 199 00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:21,500 AS WELL AS THAT DRAFTY SEWER WHICH YOU CALL THE LIBRARY. 200 00:09:21,584 --> 00:09:23,876 I WANT NOBODY TO COME IN WHILE I'M HERE. 201 00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:25,292 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SIR? 202 00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:29,167 WE'VE TO GO UP THOSE STAIRS TO GET TO OUR ROOMS. 203 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,876 ISN'T THERE A BACK ENTRANCE? 204 00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:33,083 WHY, YES. WELL, THEN USE THAT. 205 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:38,709 I SHALL ALSO REQUIRE A ROOM FOR MY SECRETARY-- MISS CUTLER. 206 00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:40,876 THERE'LL BE A MANY INCOMING AND OUTGOING CALLS, 207 00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,959 SO PLEASE DO NOT USE THE TELEPHONE. 208 00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:45,000 I SLEEP UNTIL NOON AND MUST HAVE QUIET 209 00:09:45,083 --> 00:09:46,751 THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE UNTIL THAT HOUR. 210 00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:49,334 THERE'LL BE 5 FOR LUNCH TODAY. WHERE'S THE COOK? 211 00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:52,876 MR. WHITESIDE, IF I MAY INTERRUPT-- YOU MAY NOT, SIR. 212 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,959 WILL YOU TAKE YOUR CLAMMY HAND OFF MY CHAIR? 213 00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:59,125 YOU HAVE THE TOUCH OF A LOVE-STARVED COBRA. 214 00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:01,459 AND NOW WILL YOU ALL LEAVE QUIETLY. 215 00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:05,500 MUST I ASK MISS CUTLER TO PASS AMONG YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT? 216 00:10:05,584 --> 00:10:08,000 LOOK HERE, MR. WHITESIDE-- THERE IS NOTHING TO DISCUSS, SIR. 217 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:10,417 CONSIDERING THE DAMAGE THAT I'VE SUFFERED AT YOUR HANDS, 218 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:15,209 I'M ASKING VERY LITTLE. GOOD DAY. 219 00:10:15,292 --> 00:10:17,334 I'LL CALL YOU FROM THE OFFICE LATER, DAISY. 220 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:21,459 NOT ON THIS PHONE, PLEASE. 221 00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:23,292 HERE IS THE MENU FOR LUNCH. 222 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:24,918 BUT I--I'VE ORDERED LUNCH. 223 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,542 IT'LL BE SENT UP TO YOU. 224 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,000 I'M USING THE DINING ROOM FOR MY GUESTS. 225 00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:31,876 WHERE ARE THOSE CIGARETTES? 226 00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:34,083 WHY, MY--MY SON WENT TO GET THEM. 227 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,000 I DON'T KNOW WHY HE-- HERE, SARAH. THE MENU FOR LUNCH. 228 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,876 I'LL HAVE MINE ON A TRAY UPSTAIRS. 229 00:10:38,959 --> 00:10:40,751 YES, MA'AM. 230 00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:43,209 YOUNG LADY, I CANNOT STAND INDECISION. 231 00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:47,167 WILL YOU EITHER GO UP THOSE STAIRS OR COME DOWN THEM? 232 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:49,709 No, darling. 233 00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:52,209 OH, GOOD MORNING. I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE. 234 00:10:52,292 --> 00:10:54,375 I HAD TO GO TO 3 DIFFERENT STORES. 235 00:10:54,459 --> 00:10:58,459 HOW DID YOU TRAVEL, BY OXCART? 236 00:10:58,542 --> 00:10:59,584 RICHARD. 237 00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:05,167 IS THERE ANYONE IN THE WORLD WHO SUFFERS AS I DO 238 00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,250 FROM THE GROSS INADEQUACIES OF THE HUMAN RACE? 239 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,959 WHERE YOU GOING? KEEP THOSE CANAL BOATS AWAY FROM ME. 240 00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:13,250 GO IN AND READ THE LIFE OF FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE 241 00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:16,542 AND LEARN HOW UNFITTED YOU ARE FOR YOUR CHOSEN PROFESSION. 242 00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:22,000 WELL, I THINK I CAN SAFELY LEAVE YOU 243 00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:24,125 IN MISS CUTLER'S CAPABLE HANDS. 244 00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:26,042 SHALL I LOOK IN AGAIN THIS AFTERNOON? 245 00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:28,959 IF YOU DO, I SHALL SPIT RIGHT IN YOUR EYE. 246 00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:31,334 HA HA HA! 247 00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:33,292 WHAT A SENSE OF HUMOR YOU WRITERS HAVE. 248 00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,834 OH, BY THE WAY, IT'S REALLY NOT WORTH MENTIONING, 249 00:11:35,918 --> 00:11:37,918 BUT I'VE BEEN DOING A LITTLE WRITING MYSELF 250 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 ABOUT MY MEDICAL EXPERIENCES. 251 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,500 AM I TO BE SPARED NOTHING? 252 00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:43,542 WOULD IT BE TOO MUCH TO ASK YOU 253 00:11:43,626 --> 00:11:45,584 TO GLANCE OVER IT WHILE YOU'RE HERE? 254 00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:47,417 TRAPPED. 255 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,918 WHY, UH... 256 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:53,209 WELL, I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE A COPY OF IT WITH ME. 257 00:11:53,292 --> 00:11:55,292 40 YEARS 258 00:11:55,375 --> 00:11:57,459 THE STORY OF A HUMBLE PRACTITIONER 259 00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,751 I SHALL DROP EVERYTHING. I'M MUCH OBLIGED. 260 00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:04,417 I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. WELL, I'LL SEE YOU ON THE MORROW. 261 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,792 UH, KEEP THAT HIP QUIET 262 00:12:05,876 --> 00:12:09,751 AND, UH, DON'T FORGET THOSE LITTLE PILLS. 263 00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:12,250 MAGGIE, WILL YOU TAKE 40 YEARS AN OHIO BUTCHER 264 00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:14,500 OR WHATEVER IT'S CALLED? 265 00:12:14,584 --> 00:12:16,626 I MUST SAY, SHERRY, YOU HAVE CERTAINLY BEHAVED 266 00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:18,542 WITH YOUR ACCUSTOMED GRACE AND CHARM. 267 00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:21,459 I'M IN NO MOOD TO DISCUSS MY BEHAVIOR, GOOD OR BAD. 268 00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,584 I DIDN'T WISH TO CROSS THIS CHEERLESS THRESHOLD. 269 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,709 I WAS HOUNDED AND BADGERED INTO IT. 270 00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:28,876 NOW I FIND MYSELF, AFTER 2 WEEKS OF RACKING PAIN, 271 00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:30,626 ACCUSED OF BEHAVING WITHOUT CHARM. 272 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,918 WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO, KISS THEM? 273 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,500 VERY WELL, SHERRY. 274 00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,667 AFTER 10 YEARS, I SHOULD KNOW BETTER 275 00:12:36,751 --> 00:12:40,167 THAN TO TRY AND IMPROVE YOUR MANNERS. 276 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,667 WHEN I FINALLY LEAVE THIS JOB, 277 00:12:41,751 --> 00:12:44,375 I MAY WRITE A BOOK ABOUT IT. 278 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:48,167 THROUGH THE YEARS WITH PRINCE CHARMING. 279 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:51,250 LISTEN, REPULSIVE, IF WE MAY DISMISS THE SUBJECT OF MY CHARM, 280 00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:55,167 FOR WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, I RECEIVE $1,500 PER APPEARANCE, 281 00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:58,167 POSSIBLY WE CAN GET TO WORK. 282 00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,834 OH, NO, WE CAN'T. 283 00:13:10,751 --> 00:13:13,459 MY NAME IS HARRIET STANLEY. 284 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:17,042 I KNOW YOU ARE SHERIDAN WHITESIDE. 285 00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:21,667 I SAW THIS HOLLY FRAMED GREEN AGAINST THE PINE TREES. 286 00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:24,542 I REMEMBERED WHAT YOU'D WRITTEN ABOUT TESS 287 00:13:24,626 --> 00:13:26,918 AND JUDE THE OBSCURE. 288 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,751 IT WAS THE NICEST PRESENT I COULD BRING YOU. 289 00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:45,417 AND WHAT, MAY I ASK, WAS THAT? 290 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,751 THAT WAS MR. STANLEY'S SISTER HARRIET. 291 00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:50,375 I'VE TALKED TO HER A FEW TIMES. SHE'S QUITE STRANGE. 292 00:13:50,459 --> 00:13:52,000 STRANGE? SHE'S RIGHT OUT OF 293 00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:53,500 THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES 294 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,626 YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN THAT FACE BEFORE SOMEWHERE. 295 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,250 NONSENSE, SHERRY. YOU COULDN'T HAVE. 296 00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:58,751 OH, WELL, LET'S GET TO WORK. 297 00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:01,292 HERE. PRESS THIS IN THE DOCTOR'S BOOK. 298 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,667 DID YOU PUT THROUGH THAT CALL TO MRS. ROOSEVELT? 299 00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:05,334 YES. I CALLED HER IN PORTLAND. 300 00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:06,918 SHE'D ALREADY LEFT FOR SAN DIEGO. 301 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,417 WELL, TRY HER TOMORROW IN PHOENIX. NOW, LET ME SEE. 302 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,959 SEND A WIRE TO THE EDITOR OF THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY. 303 00:14:12,042 --> 00:14:15,751 "DO NOT WORRY, STINKY. COPY WILL ARRIVE ON TIME. WHITESIDE." 304 00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:18,500 AH! SEND A CABLE TO THE DUCHESS OF WINDSOR. 305 00:14:18,584 --> 00:14:22,667 "DEAR WALLY, CAN YOU AND DAVID MEET ME, "MIAMI, FEBRUARY 20? 306 00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:25,542 30. WHITESIDE." 307 00:14:25,626 --> 00:14:29,626 I SEE NO REASON WHY I SHOULD ENDORSE SNUG-FIT BRASSIERES. 308 00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:33,918 WHAT DATE'S THIS? DECEMBER 10. 309 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,250 SEND A WIRE TO AMERICAN BROADCASTING. 310 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,959 "YOU CAN SCHEDULE MY CHRISTMAS EVE BROADCAST 311 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:40,584 "FROM YOUR NEW YORK STUDIO, AS I SHALL RETURN EAST 312 00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:43,167 "INSTEAD OF PROCEEDING TO HOLLYWOOD. STOP. 313 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,959 "FOR NEW YEAR'S EVE BROADCAST, WILL HAVE AS MY GUESTS 314 00:14:46,042 --> 00:14:48,125 "JASCHA HEIFETZ, HELEN HAYES, 315 00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:49,667 "SCHIAPARELLI, THE LUNTS, 316 00:14:49,751 --> 00:14:51,083 DR. ALEXIS KALELL, 317 00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,918 "WITH HAILE SELASSIE ON SHORTWAVE 318 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,292 FROM ADDIS ABABA. WHITESIDE." 319 00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:59,417 WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW, MISS STOMACH-PUMP? 320 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:03,751 IT'S YOUR PILLS. ONE EVERY 45 MINUTES. 321 00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:04,792 THERMOMETER PUSS. 322 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,542 IF THAT'S FOR MRS. STANLEY, 323 00:15:07,626 --> 00:15:09,751 TELL THEM SHE'S TOO DRUNK TO TALK. 324 00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:13,167 HELLO. YES? 325 00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:16,167 WHAT? PALM BEACH? 326 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,751 OH, JUST A MOMENT. 327 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,709 IT'S THAT DEAR FRIEND OF YOURS, MISS LORRAINE SHELDON. 328 00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:22,959 OH! GIVE IT TO ME! 329 00:15:23,042 --> 00:15:24,459 HELLO! 330 00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:27,500 IS THIS MY BLOSSOM GIRL? 331 00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,709 SHERRY, YOU POOR, SWEET DARLING. 332 00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:31,000 ARE YOU ALRIGHT? 333 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,292 I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE 334 00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:36,042 SINCE THIS AWFUL THING HAPPENED, YOU POOR LAMB. 335 00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,209 OUCH, YOU FOOL! SORRY, MADAM. 336 00:15:38,292 --> 00:15:40,500 NO, NO, NO. THAT WAS COSETTE. 337 00:15:40,584 --> 00:15:43,626 DARLING, HOW YOU MUST HAVE SUFFERED. 338 00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,000 I KNOW. I KNOW. 339 00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:48,792 ME? OH, I'M WRETCHED. 340 00:15:48,876 --> 00:15:50,959 I CAN'T FIND A PLAY, SHERRY DEAR. 341 00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:53,876 I JUST DON'T THINK I'LL EVER ACT AGAIN. 342 00:15:53,959 --> 00:15:55,417 TELL ME, BLOSSOM. WHAT MADE YOU 343 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:58,083 TAKE YOUR WHITE BODY TO PALM BEACH? 344 00:15:58,167 --> 00:15:59,626 WHO'S HOLDING YOU CAPTIVE? 345 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,918 OH, LORD BOTTOMLY'S IN FROM LONDON. SOME MISSION OR OTHER. 346 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,459 NOW, LOOK, DARLING, TAKE CARE OF THAT SWEET LITTLE HIP, WILL YOU? 347 00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:09,834 AND HERE'S A BIG KISS FROM YOUR BLOSSOM GIRL. 348 00:16:09,918 --> 00:16:13,751 OUCH! SORRY, MADAM. 349 00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:15,209 GOODBYE, DARLING. 350 00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:18,959 GOODBYE, MY LOTUS BLOSSOM. 351 00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,000 MY LOTUS BLOSSOM. 352 00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,751 LITTLE MISS STINKWEED. 353 00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:24,626 PURE JEALOUSLY IF I EVER SAW IT. 354 00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:26,000 GIVE ME THOSE WIRES. 355 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:28,500 LORRAINE SHELDON, LORD BOTTOMLY, MY AUNT FANNY. 356 00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:32,292 IF THESE PEOPLE INTEND TO HAVE THEIR FRIENDS USING 357 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:35,125 THE FRONT DOOR-- YOU EXPECT THEM TO USE A ROPE LADDER? 358 00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:37,209 I'LL NOT HAVE A LOT OF ITINERANT FIREMEN 359 00:16:37,292 --> 00:16:38,876 RUSHING IN AND OUT OF THIS HOUSE. 360 00:16:38,959 --> 00:16:42,167 GOOD MORNING, MR. JEFFERSON. MORNING, JOHN. MR. WHITESIDE IN? 361 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,000 YES, SIR. THERE'S NOBODY HOME! 362 00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:47,542 THE STANLEYS HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR PEDDLING DOPE! GO AWAY! 363 00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:50,209 GOOD MORNING. I'M JEFFERSON OF THE MESALIA JOURNAL. 364 00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:51,751 REMEMBER? MET YOU AT THE STATION. 365 00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:53,250 OH, GET RID OF HIM, MAGGIE. 366 00:16:53,334 --> 00:16:56,250 I'M SORRY. MR. WHITESIDE IS SEEING NO ONE TODAY. 367 00:16:56,334 --> 00:16:58,083 REALLY? SO WILL YOU PLEASE EXCUSE US? 368 00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,584 MR. WHITESIDE SEEMS TO BE SITTING UP AND TAKING NOTICE. 369 00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:04,000 I'M AFRAID HE'S NOT TAKING NOTICE OF THE MESALIA JOURNAL. 370 00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:07,459 IF I'M GONNA BE INSULTED, I'D LIKE IT TO BE BY MR. WHITESIDE. 371 00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,667 I NEVER DID LIKE CARBON COPIES. 372 00:17:09,751 --> 00:17:12,042 OH! TOUCHE IF I EVER HEARD ONE, 373 00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:15,125 AND IN MESALIA, TOO, MAGGIE DEAR. WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE? 374 00:17:15,209 --> 00:17:18,250 HOW ABOUT AN INTERVIEW? I NEVER GIVE THEM. GO AWAY. 375 00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:21,417 MR. WHITESIDE, IF I DON'T GET THIS INTERVIEW, I LOSE MY JOB. 376 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,334 THAT'LL BE QUITE ALRIGHT WITH ME. 377 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,459 YOU DON'T MEAN THAT, MR. WHITESIDE. 378 00:17:25,542 --> 00:17:27,292 YOU USED TO BE A NEWSPAPERMAN YOURSELF. 379 00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,000 YOU KNOW WHAT EDITORS ARE LIKE. 380 00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:30,792 MINE'S THE TOUGHEST ONE THAT EVER LIVED. 381 00:17:30,876 --> 00:17:33,667 IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM, GET OFF THE PAPER. 382 00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:35,542 I THINK IT'S A GOOD PAPER. 383 00:17:35,626 --> 00:17:38,167 WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE COULD'VE GOT OUTTA EMPORIA, BUT HE DIDN'T. 384 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,209 YOU HAVE THE EFFRONTERY IN MY PRESENCE 385 00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:42,542 TO COMPARE YOURSELF WITH WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE? 386 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,834 ONLY IN THE SENSE THAT WHITE STAYED IN EMPORIA, 387 00:17:44,918 --> 00:17:47,292 I'D LIKE TO STAY HERE AND SAY WHAT I WANNA. 388 00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:50,292 SUCH AS WHAT? I CAN'T PUT IT INTO WORDS, MR. WHITESIDE. 389 00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:52,292 IT'D SOUND LIKE AN AWFUL LOT OF HOOEY. 390 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,334 BUT THE JOURNAL WAS MY FATHER'S PAPER. 391 00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:56,459 IT'S KINDA SENTIMENTAL POINT WITH ME, THE PAPER. 392 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,626 I'D LIKE TO CARRY ON WHERE HE LEFT OFF. 393 00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:02,125 AH. SO YOU OWN THIS PAPER? THAT'S RIGHT. 394 00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:05,626 THIS TERRIFYING EDITOR, THIS DREAD JOURNALISTIC ARMAGEDDON, 395 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,500 IS YOU YOURSELF. 396 00:18:07,584 --> 00:18:09,083 IN A WORD, YES. 397 00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:12,042 I SEE. 398 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:15,959 SHERRY, THE NEXT TIME YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE ANYBODY, 399 00:18:16,042 --> 00:18:19,667 JUST LET ME KNOW, AND I'LL USHER THEM RIGHT IN. 400 00:18:19,751 --> 00:18:21,667 YOUNG MAN, COME OVER HERE. 401 00:18:21,751 --> 00:18:25,042 I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE WRITTEN THAT GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. 402 00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:27,500 NO. I'VE WRITTEN THAT GREAT AMERICAN PLAY. 403 00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,500 WELL, I DON'T WANT TO READ IT. 404 00:18:29,584 --> 00:18:31,500 AH! DO THESE OLD EYES OF MINE 405 00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:33,334 SEE A BOX OF GOODIES OVER THERE? 406 00:18:33,417 --> 00:18:34,834 HAND THEM TO ME, WILL YOU? 407 00:18:34,918 --> 00:18:37,709 THE TROUBLE IS, MR. WHITESIDE, THAT YOUR BEING IN THIS TOWN 408 00:18:37,792 --> 00:18:39,292 COMES UNDER THE HEADING OF "NEWS," 409 00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:40,918 SO I GOTTA GET A STORY. 410 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,959 AH! PECAN BUTTERNUT FUDGE! 411 00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:46,500 OH, MY! YOU MUSTN'T EAT CANDY, MR. WHITESIDE. 412 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:48,375 IT'S VERY BAD FOR YOU. 413 00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:50,876 MY GREAT-AUNT JENNIFER ATE A WHOLE BOX OF CANDY 414 00:18:50,959 --> 00:18:52,375 EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE. 415 00:18:52,459 --> 00:18:55,542 SHE LIVED TO BE 102, AND WHEN SHE'D BEEN DEAD 3 DAYS, 416 00:18:55,626 --> 00:18:58,167 SHE LOOKED BETTER THAN YOU DO NOW. 417 00:19:00,918 --> 00:19:03,209 NOW THAT YOU'VE WON ME WITH YOUR PRETTY WAYS-- 418 00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,209 HAVE A PIECE OF CANDY? THANKS. 419 00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:07,042 I'LL GRANT YOU A ONE-MINUTE INTERVIEW. 420 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,375 WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW? 421 00:19:08,459 --> 00:19:10,876 HOW DO YOU THINK THE OHIO WOMEN STACK UP AGAINST-- 422 00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:14,375 I'VE NEVER GONE IN FOR STACKING UP WOMEN, SO I REALLY CAN'T SAY. 423 00:19:14,459 --> 00:19:17,209 WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON MESALIA? HOW LONG YOU GONNA BE HERE? 424 00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:19,667 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? OH, VERY WELL. 425 00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:23,792 A--MESALIA IS A TOWN OF IRRESISTIBLE CHARM. 426 00:19:23,876 --> 00:19:25,584 B--I CANNOT WAIT TO GET OUTTA IT. 427 00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,209 C--I'M GOING FROM HERE TO CROPFIELD 428 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:30,542 FOR MY VISIT TO THE CROPFIELD HOME FOR PAROLED CONVICTS, 429 00:19:30,626 --> 00:19:33,667 FOR WHICH I HAVE RAISED OVER HALF A MILLION DOLLARS. 430 00:19:33,751 --> 00:19:36,083 FILCHED FROM THE POCKETS OF AN ALL TOO GULLIBLE 431 00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:37,542 AND LONG-SUFFERING PUBLIC. 432 00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:38,667 WILL YOU SIGN HERE? 433 00:19:38,751 --> 00:19:40,918 THIS AGING DEBUTANTE, MR. JEFFERSON, 434 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,209 I RETAIN IN MY EMPLOY ONLY BECAUSE SHE IS THE SOLE SUPPORT 435 00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,250 OF HER TWO-HEADED BROTHER. 436 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:50,500 THANK YOU. 437 00:19:50,584 --> 00:19:52,459 DO YOU PLAY GIN RUMMY? I SURE DO. 438 00:19:52,542 --> 00:19:55,292 FINE! HOW MUCH CAN YOU AFFORD TO LOSE? I GENERALLY WIN. 439 00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:57,626 WE WON'T DISCUSS THAT. 30. 440 00:19:57,709 --> 00:19:59,876 WE'LL PLAY 3-HANDED WITH ELSIE DINSMORE. 441 00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:03,042 BY THE WAY, YOU OWE ME $1.00. WHAT'S THAT? WHAT FOR? 442 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,751 AT THE STATION. THE DOLLAR YOU BORROWED. 443 00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:07,876 YOU PAY A HEALTHIER INCOME TAX THAN I DO. GIVE. 444 00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:11,125 MAGGIE, MAKE OUT A CHECK FOR THIS MISERABLE MONEY-CHANGER. 445 00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:13,000 MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO BERTRAM H. 446 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:17,626 AH! THAT MUST BE MY LUNCHEON GUESTS. I BEG YOUR PARDON? 447 00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:19,459 A FEW MURDERERS FROM THE CROPFIELD HOME 448 00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:20,959 AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY. 449 00:20:21,042 --> 00:20:23,626 YOU SEE, MR. JEFFERSON, THE FACT THAT MR. WHITESIDE HAPPENS 450 00:20:23,709 --> 00:20:25,626 TO BE THE NATION'S FOREMOST AUTHORITY 451 00:20:25,709 --> 00:20:26,959 ON MURDERS AND MURDER TRIALS 452 00:20:27,042 --> 00:20:29,083 FORMS A BOND BETWEEN THEM. 453 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,792 BY THE WAY, JEFFERSON, HOW ABOUT STAYING FOR LUNCH? 454 00:20:31,876 --> 00:20:33,792 OH, GLAD TO. 455 00:20:33,876 --> 00:20:35,918 THAT'LL COST YOU $1.00. 456 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,375 TELL THEM THERE'LL BE ONE MORE, PLEASE, MAGGIE. 457 00:20:39,292 --> 00:20:40,792 MR. WHITESIDE AT HOME? 458 00:20:40,876 --> 00:20:42,626 YEAH. WE'RE HERE FOR LUNCH. 459 00:20:44,751 --> 00:20:47,125 AH! COME RIGHT IN, GENTLEMEN! 460 00:20:48,709 --> 00:20:50,292 YOU'RE MR. WHITESIDE? THAT'S RIGHT. 461 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,334 LINE UP THERE, BOYS. GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN. 462 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,334 HI. HI. 463 00:20:53,417 --> 00:20:55,334 JEFFERSON, THESE LADS HAVE FORMED 464 00:20:55,417 --> 00:20:57,626 A SHERIDAN WHITESIDE CLUB AT THE STATE PENITENTIARY. 465 00:20:57,709 --> 00:21:00,042 THEY LISTEN TO EVERY ONE OF MY BROADCASTS. 466 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,292 I ARRANGED WITH THE WARDEN 467 00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:03,667 TO HAVE THEM COME HERE TODAY FOR LUNCHEON. 468 00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:04,834 YOU'RE MICHAELSON, AREN'T YOU? 469 00:21:04,918 --> 00:21:06,667 DID THE DRAINPIPE MURDERS? 470 00:21:06,751 --> 00:21:08,167 YES, SIR. 471 00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,667 THOUGHT I RECOGNIZED YOU. 472 00:21:09,751 --> 00:21:11,500 THE ONE ON THIS END, JEFFERSON, 473 00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:13,042 IS HAGGERTY, THE HATCHET FIEND. 474 00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:16,250 ALWAYS CHOPPED THEM UP IN A SALAD BOWL, REMEMBER? 475 00:21:16,334 --> 00:21:17,334 HOW DO YOU DO? 476 00:21:17,417 --> 00:21:18,834 HI. 477 00:21:18,918 --> 00:21:20,167 LUNCH IS READY, MR. WHITESIDE. 478 00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:21,667 GOOD! WE'LL GO RIGHT IN! 479 00:21:21,751 --> 00:21:25,000 CAN I HELP YOU? YES. THANK YOU. GENTLEMEN, AFTER YOU. 480 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:26,918 WE'RE HAVING CHICKEN LIVERS TETRAZZINI 481 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,500 AND CHERRIES JUBILEE FOR DESSERT. 482 00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:31,626 WHAT, NO SALAD BOWL, MR. WHITESIDE? UH, NO, HAGGERTY. 483 00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:34,125 I DO NOT WISH TO PLACE TEMPTATION IN YOUR PATH. 484 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:37,083 I HOPE EVERY LITTLE TUMMY IS A FLUTTER WITH GASTRIC JUICES. 485 00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:38,417 CLOSE THE DOORS, JOHN. 486 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,959 DON'T WANT A LOTTA PEOPLE PRYING ON THEIR BETTERS. 487 00:21:41,042 --> 00:21:42,083 YES, SIR. 488 00:21:47,876 --> 00:21:49,834 HELLO, MR. STANLEY. WILL YOU SIGN FOR THIS? 489 00:21:49,918 --> 00:21:51,876 WELL, WHAT IS IT? WE'RE NOT QUITE SURE. 490 00:21:51,959 --> 00:21:54,375 IT'S FOR MR. WHITESIDE FROM A WILLIAM BEEBE. 491 00:21:54,459 --> 00:21:56,918 WILLIAM BEEBE? WHY, HE'S THE GREAT NATURALIST. 492 00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:03,292 GOOD HEAVENS! IT'S AN OCTOPUS! THAT'S IT! 493 00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:07,125 I KNEW THERE WAS A "PUS" IN THE NAME SOMEWHERES. 494 00:22:07,209 --> 00:22:09,334 WHEN YOU RETURN TO THE UNIVERSITY IN CANTON, 495 00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:13,042 I WANT YOU TO TAKE A MESSAGE FOR ME TO PROFESSOR CHUNG WUNG LU. 496 00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:14,751 WE WENT TO HAMILTON TOGETHER. 497 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,334 MR. WHITESIDE! 498 00:22:22,751 --> 00:22:24,417 SIT DOWN, GENTLEMEN. THIS ISN'T ANYBODY. 499 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,542 THERE'S AN OCTOPUS AT THE DOOR! 500 00:22:26,626 --> 00:22:29,751 GOOD! BRING HIM IN! NOW I'LL HAVE SOMEBODY INTELLIGENT TO 501 00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:31,250 TALK TO IN THE EVENINGS. 502 00:22:31,334 --> 00:22:32,751 MR. WHITESIDE, I WARN YOU, 503 00:22:32,834 --> 00:22:34,918 I'LL NOT HAVE THAT MONSTER IN MY HOUSE. 504 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,125 WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS A MOTEL 505 00:22:36,209 --> 00:22:38,334 FOR YOU AND MRS. STANLEY IF YOU'RE FINICKY. 506 00:22:38,417 --> 00:22:39,834 RIGHT IN HERE. 507 00:22:41,334 --> 00:22:43,667 A LITTLE PLAYMATE FOR YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. 508 00:22:43,751 --> 00:22:45,918 GOOD! GOOD! PUT IT RIGHT DOWN HERE. 509 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,125 MY, WHAT A CHARMING LITTLE CREATURE! 510 00:22:50,209 --> 00:22:51,792 MR. STANLEY, WHAT'S YOUR FIRST NAME? 511 00:22:51,876 --> 00:22:53,375 UH, ERNEST. WHY? 512 00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:56,250 BOYS, TAKE ERNEST DOWN TO THE BASEMENT, WILL YOU, PLEASE? 513 00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:59,292 WHAT? MR. WHITESIDE, THERE IS A LIMIT. I WARN YOU, 514 00:22:59,375 --> 00:23:00,626 I'M A PATIENT MAN, BUT-- 515 00:23:00,709 --> 00:23:02,125 DINNER IS SERVED, MR. WHITESIDE. 516 00:23:02,209 --> 00:23:05,417 DAISY, WHERE'S THAT BICARBONATE OF SODA? 517 00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:18,167 DAISY, THIS IS THE END. I'VE STOOD ALL I'M GONNA STAND. 518 00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:19,626 WHERE'S THAT TELEPHONE BILL? 519 00:23:19,709 --> 00:23:21,792 NOW, ERNEST, PLEASE! LISTEN TO ME, ERNEST! 520 00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:23,375 OH! 521 00:23:23,459 --> 00:23:27,292 JOHN, TELL SARAH THE LOBSTER NEWBURG IS ABSOLUTELY SUPERB. 522 00:23:27,375 --> 00:23:29,125 YES, MR. WHITESIDE. THANK YOU. 523 00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:30,959 MR. WHITESIDE, I WANNA TALK TO YOU! 524 00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:32,792 I'VE STOOD ALL I'M GOING TO STAND. 525 00:23:32,876 --> 00:23:34,876 IGNORE THE INTERRUPTION. FOR THE PAST 10 DAYS, 526 00:23:34,959 --> 00:23:36,959 WE COULDN'T CALL OUR SOULS OUR OWN. 527 00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:39,000 WE HAVEN'T HAD A MEAL HERE ONCE. 528 00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:42,542 I CAME HOME AND FOUND CONVICTS SITTING AT MY DINNER TABLE. 529 00:23:42,626 --> 00:23:44,334 DRAINPIPE MURDERERS! AND NOW-- 530 00:23:44,417 --> 00:23:45,667 NOW, ERNEST-- PLEASE. 531 00:23:45,751 --> 00:23:48,167 I GO INTO MY BATHROOM AND BUMP INTO 2 MORE. 532 00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:50,500 I WON'T STAND FOR IT, NO MATTER WHAT! 533 00:23:50,584 --> 00:23:52,792 HAVE YOU QUITE FINISHED? NO, SIR, I HAVE NOT! 534 00:23:52,876 --> 00:23:56,834 THIS BILL FROM THE TELEPHONE COMPANY FOR $784! 535 00:23:56,918 --> 00:23:58,626 OKLAHOMA CITY, ROME, 536 00:23:58,709 --> 00:24:01,167 CALCUTTA, HOLLYWOOD, BUENOS AIRES, 537 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,751 NEW YORK, NEW YORK, NEW YORK, NEW YORK! 538 00:24:03,834 --> 00:24:05,500 BUT, ERNEST-- LEAVE ME ALONE! 539 00:24:05,584 --> 00:24:08,876 MR. WHITESIDE, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE AS SOON AS YOU 540 00:24:08,959 --> 00:24:12,167 CAN AND GO TO A HOTEL. STOP PAWING ME, DAISY! 541 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,500 THAT'S ALL I'VE TO SAY TO YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. 542 00:24:14,584 --> 00:24:16,000 QUITE ENOUGH, I SHOULD SAY. 543 00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:18,000 IF YOU INSIST UPON MY LEAVING THIS HOUSE, 544 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:19,834 THEREBY CAUSING ME TO SUFFER A RELAPSE, 545 00:24:19,918 --> 00:24:21,626 I'LL SUE YOU FOR EVERY ADDITIONAL DAY 546 00:24:21,709 --> 00:24:23,709 THAT I AM HELD INACTIVE, WHICH WILL AMOUNT, 547 00:24:23,792 --> 00:24:25,542 I ASSURE YOU, TO A TIDY SUM. 548 00:24:25,626 --> 00:24:26,876 THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! 549 00:24:26,959 --> 00:24:29,209 AS FOR THE DETAILS OF YOUR PETTY COMPLAINTS, 550 00:24:29,292 --> 00:24:31,584 THESE GENTLEMEN CAME STRAIGHT FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, 551 00:24:31,667 --> 00:24:34,042 WHERE, I ASSURE YOU, THEY USED THE BATHROOM, TOO. 552 00:24:34,125 --> 00:24:35,542 MR. WHITESIDE, ERNEST DIDN'T MEAN-- 553 00:24:35,626 --> 00:24:37,292 I DID TOO! I MEANT EVERY WORD! 554 00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:39,584 THERE'S ONE POINT IN WHICH I SEE SOME JUSTICE. 555 00:24:39,667 --> 00:24:41,876 I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO PAY FOR MY CALLS. 556 00:24:41,959 --> 00:24:43,876 I'LL MAKE SURE THAT RESTITUTION IS MADE. 557 00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:45,876 CAN YOU PROVIDE ME WITH THE EXACT AMOUNT? 558 00:24:45,959 --> 00:24:47,792 I CERTAINLY CAN, AND I CERTAINLY WILL! 559 00:24:47,876 --> 00:24:49,542 GOOD! I SHALL INSTRUCT MY LAWYERS 560 00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:51,417 TO DEDUCT IT FROM THE $150,000 561 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,542 THAT I AM SUING YOU FOR. 562 00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:57,042 TELL ME GENTLEMEN-- IS IT TRUE THAT IN CHINA, 563 00:24:57,125 --> 00:25:00,000 YOU DROWN MIDDLE-AGED BUSINESSMEN AT BIRTH? 564 00:25:21,626 --> 00:25:22,751 HA HA HA! 565 00:25:22,834 --> 00:25:25,542 OH, I'M SORRY, MAGGIE. HA HA HA! 566 00:25:25,626 --> 00:25:28,209 I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY SONJA HENIE MAKES SO MUCH MONEY. 567 00:25:28,292 --> 00:25:30,834 YOU CAN'T LEARN SKATING WITHOUT TAKING A SPILL OR TWO. 568 00:25:30,918 --> 00:25:32,584 YOU'VE A PRETTY GOOD SENSE OF BALANCE. 569 00:25:32,667 --> 00:25:36,375 I SHOULD HAVE. I CUT A MEAN FIGURE 8 AT THE STORK CLUB. 570 00:25:36,459 --> 00:25:39,250 YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN? HIYA, JACK! OH! HA HA HA! 571 00:25:39,334 --> 00:25:42,459 AND I DIDN'T EVEN SAY YES! HA HA HA! I'M SORRY, MAGGIE. 572 00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,000 LET'S GO SIT BY THE FIRE. 573 00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:45,542 OH, DON'T YOU EVER WAVE AGAIN 574 00:25:45,626 --> 00:25:47,542 UNLESS YOU SEE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY. 575 00:25:47,626 --> 00:25:49,876 OKAY. HA HA HA! 576 00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:54,626 HIYA, BERT! WHAT DO YOU SAY? 577 00:25:54,709 --> 00:25:57,792 HIYA, BOY. WHAT DO YOU SAY, JACK? HELLO, MARY! 578 00:25:57,876 --> 00:25:59,459 HOW'S THE ICE? HARD. 579 00:26:00,918 --> 00:26:02,959 HOW IS IT, SAM? GERTIE? 580 00:26:03,042 --> 00:26:04,918 YOU KNOW MORE PEOPLE THAN A HEADWAITER. 581 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,375 WELL, I ADMIT I AM POPULAR. 582 00:26:06,459 --> 00:26:08,626 HERE I AM, THE MOST ATTRACTIVE MAN IN TOWN. 583 00:26:08,709 --> 00:26:11,792 ARE YOU? SURE. WE RAN A CONTEST IN THE PAPER LAST WEEK, 584 00:26:11,876 --> 00:26:14,125 AND I WON. OF COURSE, I OWN THE PAPER, 585 00:26:14,209 --> 00:26:15,834 BUT THAT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE. 586 00:26:15,918 --> 00:26:17,626 HOW ABOUT A HOT SWEET POTATO? 587 00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:19,375 A WHAT? OH, SWEET POTATO. 588 00:26:19,459 --> 00:26:21,834 THAT'S WHAT THEY SERVE AT 21 WITH PINEAPPLE GLACE. 589 00:26:21,918 --> 00:26:22,834 HEY, FREDDY! 590 00:26:22,918 --> 00:26:24,667 YES, MR. JEFFERSON? 591 00:26:28,042 --> 00:26:28,959 2 SWEETS. 592 00:26:29,042 --> 00:26:30,500 BEST IN THE WEST. 593 00:26:32,375 --> 00:26:35,083 HMM. HOT. 594 00:26:35,167 --> 00:26:37,626 THANK YOU. THANK YOU, MR. JEFFERSON. 595 00:26:37,709 --> 00:26:38,751 HOW'S YOUR BACK? 596 00:26:38,834 --> 00:26:40,751 IT'S BROKEN. THANK YOU. 597 00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:44,667 YOU KNOW, MAGGIE, I WAS WONDERING-- 598 00:26:44,751 --> 00:26:47,584 DON'T KNOW IF I'M MAKING A HIT WITH YOU OR NOT. 599 00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:49,167 YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT. 600 00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:51,375 ARE YOU HAVING FUN, MAGGIE? I'M LOVING IT. 601 00:26:51,459 --> 00:26:52,584 GOOD. 602 00:26:55,042 --> 00:26:56,709 YOU GOT A GIRL, BERT? 603 00:26:56,792 --> 00:26:58,500 OH, NOT PARTICULARLY. WHY? 604 00:26:58,584 --> 00:26:59,709 OH, I WAS JUST WONDERING. 605 00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:01,751 YOU KNOW, MOST ATTRACTIVE MAN IN TOWN. 606 00:27:01,834 --> 00:27:03,918 FUNNY THING IS, YOU ARE SORT OF ATTRACTIVE 607 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,042 IN A CORNFED SORT OF WAY. 608 00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,667 I COULD IMAGINE SOME POOR GIRL 609 00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,542 FALLING FOR YOU IF, WELL, 610 00:27:09,626 --> 00:27:12,292 IF YOU THREW IN A SET OF DISHES. 611 00:27:12,375 --> 00:27:14,292 WELL, I'VE GOT THE DISHES. 612 00:27:18,459 --> 00:27:20,000 "HER FOOTSTEPS QUICKEN. 613 00:27:20,083 --> 00:27:22,417 "CALMLY AND QUIETLY, SHE GOES TO THE DOORWAY, 614 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,250 "AND THE DOOR CLOSES BEHIND HER. 615 00:27:24,334 --> 00:27:29,042 THERE'S A MOMENT'S SILENCE, AND THE CURTAIN FALLS." 616 00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:31,959 WELL, MAGGIE, THERE IT IS. 617 00:27:32,042 --> 00:27:35,626 IT'S WONDERFUL. I THINK IT'S A FINE PLAY. 618 00:27:35,709 --> 00:27:36,918 HONESTLY, MAGGIE? 619 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,709 ARE YOU TELLING ME THE TRUTH? 620 00:27:38,792 --> 00:27:41,584 IT'S BETTER THAN THAT. I THINK IT'S GREAT. 621 00:27:41,667 --> 00:27:44,751 MAY I TAKE IT WITH ME? I WANNA READ IT AGAIN MYSELF. 622 00:27:44,834 --> 00:27:48,042 SURE. YOU LIKE IT AS MUCH AS THAT, HUH? 623 00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,834 BERT JEFFERSON, YOU'RE QUITE A GUY. 624 00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:57,083 SAY, I'LL WRITE ANOTHER ONE RIGHT AWAY. 625 00:27:57,167 --> 00:27:58,584 HA HA HA! 626 00:27:58,667 --> 00:28:00,459 THERE, YOU SEE HOW GOOD IT IS? 627 00:28:00,542 --> 00:28:02,417 I'VE FORGOTTEN THE TIME. 628 00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:04,250 I MUST GO. 629 00:28:21,834 --> 00:28:23,125 MISS PREEN. 630 00:28:26,334 --> 00:28:29,876 MISS PREEN! 631 00:28:29,959 --> 00:28:32,083 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE, A SAILOR? 632 00:28:32,167 --> 00:28:33,667 I WAS JUST FIXING YOUR MEDICINE. 633 00:28:33,751 --> 00:28:35,292 HAS MISS CUTLER COME IN? 634 00:28:35,375 --> 00:28:38,292 I DON'T KNOW, MR. WHITESIDE. AT LEAST, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER. 635 00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:39,584 ARE YOU SURE? 636 00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:43,292 I'M NOT SURE OF ANYTHING ANYMORE, MR. WHITESIDE. 637 00:28:43,375 --> 00:28:44,459 HERE'S YOUR MEDICINE. 638 00:28:44,542 --> 00:28:47,167 ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, GO BACK TO THE NAVY. 639 00:29:14,959 --> 00:29:16,626 Whiteside: COME HERE, YOU TWO. 640 00:29:16,709 --> 00:29:19,834 COME ON, COME ON. I'M NOT GOING TO BITE YOU. 641 00:29:19,918 --> 00:29:23,834 NOW, LOOK HERE, I AM BY NATURE A GRACIOUS AND CHARMING PERSON. 642 00:29:23,918 --> 00:29:27,000 I'M AFRAID THAT WHEN WE FIRST MET, I WAS UNPLEASANT TO YOU. 643 00:29:27,083 --> 00:29:29,542 I'M SORRY, AND IN THE FUTURE PLEASE DON'T TREAT ME 644 00:29:29,626 --> 00:29:31,417 LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF EDGAR ALLAN POE. 645 00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:32,834 DO YOU LIKE MY NEW TIE? 646 00:29:32,918 --> 00:29:34,626 THANK YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. THIS MAKES THINGS 647 00:29:34,709 --> 00:29:37,167 SO MUCH PLEASANTER, I THINK YOUR TIE IS VERY PRETTY. 648 00:29:37,250 --> 00:29:39,542 SINCE WE'RE ON GOOD TERMS, I'D LIKE TO MENTION 649 00:29:39,626 --> 00:29:41,125 I'VE BEEN ADMIRING ALL YOUR TIES. 650 00:29:41,209 --> 00:29:42,751 YOU LIKE THIS ONE? CERTAINLY DO. 651 00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:44,417 IT'S YOURS. WELL, THANKS. 652 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:47,000 REALLY, THIS CURIOUS LEGEND THAT I AM A DIFFICULT PERSON 653 00:29:47,083 --> 00:29:49,959 IS PURE FABRICATION. ICE-SKATING, EH? 654 00:29:50,042 --> 00:29:52,918 AH, ME, I USED TO CUT FIGURE EIGHTS MYSELF 655 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,959 ARM IN ARM WITH BETSY ROSS, WAVING THE FLAG BEHIND US. 656 00:29:56,042 --> 00:29:58,042 OH, IT WAS WONDERFUL ON THE ICE TONIGHT. 657 00:29:58,125 --> 00:30:00,500 MISS CUTLER AND MR. JEFFERSON WERE THERE. 658 00:30:00,584 --> 00:30:03,500 MAGGIE...SKATING? I GOT A MARVELOUS PICTURE OF HER. 659 00:30:03,584 --> 00:30:06,626 THEY SEEMED TO BE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. DID THEY, INDEED? 660 00:30:06,709 --> 00:30:10,042 MIND IF I TOOK A PICTURE OF YOU? I'D LOVE TO HAVE ONE. 661 00:30:10,125 --> 00:30:13,334 VERY WELL. DO YOU WANT MY PROFILE? 662 00:30:13,417 --> 00:30:14,959 AFRAID YOU'RE DONE FOR, MR. WHITESIDE. 663 00:30:15,042 --> 00:30:16,417 MY BROTHER'S A CAMERA FIEND. 664 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:18,709 THANKS, MR. WHITESIDE. I GOT A GREAT ONE. 665 00:30:18,792 --> 00:30:21,125 GOODNIGHT! GOODNIGHT. 666 00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,292 DEAR MR. WHITESIDE. OH. 667 00:30:40,375 --> 00:30:42,751 HOW WONDERFUL TO FIND YOU ALONE. 668 00:30:42,834 --> 00:30:44,375 I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SHOW YOU 669 00:30:44,459 --> 00:30:46,375 A FEW MEMENTOS OF THE PAST. 670 00:30:46,459 --> 00:30:49,209 I SOMEHOW FEEL THAT YOU WILL LOVE THEM AS I DO. 671 00:30:49,292 --> 00:30:51,250 WHY, I'D BE DELIGHTED. MISS STANLEY, 672 00:30:51,334 --> 00:30:53,667 HAVEN'T WE MET SOMEWHERE BEFORE? 673 00:30:53,751 --> 00:30:57,292 OH, NO. I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. 674 00:30:57,375 --> 00:31:00,334 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF MY CHERISHED MEMORIES... 675 00:31:00,417 --> 00:31:01,834 LIKE THIS. 676 00:31:01,918 --> 00:31:05,375 LOOK. THERE I AM WITH MY FIRST SWEETHEART 677 00:31:05,459 --> 00:31:08,083 UNDER OUR LOVELY BEECHWOOD TREE. 678 00:31:08,167 --> 00:31:10,918 I WAS 8, AND HE WAS 10. 679 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,125 I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN HIM. 680 00:31:13,209 --> 00:31:15,876 WHAT HAPPY TIMES WE HAD. 681 00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:17,876 WHAT PRECIOUS HOURS. 682 00:31:19,751 --> 00:31:22,792 GOODNIGHT, DEAR MR. WHITESIDE. 683 00:31:22,876 --> 00:31:24,125 GOODNIGHT. 684 00:31:27,626 --> 00:31:30,334 HAPPY, HAPPY DREAMS. 685 00:31:45,667 --> 00:31:47,083 GOOD EVENING. 686 00:31:50,709 --> 00:31:52,250 REALLY, SHERRY, YOU'VE GOT THIS ROOM 687 00:31:52,334 --> 00:31:54,459 LOOKING LIKE AN OLD PARROT CAGE. 688 00:31:55,626 --> 00:31:58,167 DID YOU HAVE A NAP WHILE I WAS OUT? 689 00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:02,500 WHAT'S THE MATTER, DEAR, CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? 690 00:32:02,584 --> 00:32:04,876 DON'T LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GREAT COW EYES, 691 00:32:04,959 --> 00:32:06,334 YOU SIMPERING SAPPHO. 692 00:32:06,417 --> 00:32:07,584 WHERE'VE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT? 693 00:32:07,667 --> 00:32:09,334 PLAYING HOUSE WITH BERT JEFFERSON? 694 00:32:09,417 --> 00:32:10,834 I HAD THE MOST WONDERFUL EVENING. 695 00:32:10,918 --> 00:32:12,667 I'VE BEEN ICE-SKATING FOR THE FIRST TIME. 696 00:32:12,751 --> 00:32:14,417 THEY TELL ME I'M THE FIRST PERSON 697 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,834 TO DO A FIGURE EIGHT FROM A SITTING POSITION. 698 00:32:16,918 --> 00:32:19,167 WE ARE NOT AMUSED. 699 00:32:19,250 --> 00:32:21,375 BERT READ ME HIS PLAY. IT'S SUPERB. 700 00:32:21,459 --> 00:32:23,375 IT'S NOT JUST A PLAY BY A NEWSPAPERMAN. 701 00:32:23,459 --> 00:32:25,417 IT'S REALLY SUPERB. CRIES OUT FOR CORNELL. 702 00:32:25,500 --> 00:32:28,209 WILL YOU SEND IT TO HER? WILL YOU READ IT TONIGHT? 703 00:32:28,292 --> 00:32:30,542 I'LL NOT READ IT TONIGHT OR ANY OTHER TIME! 704 00:32:30,626 --> 00:32:32,584 WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF MR. JEFFERSON. 705 00:32:32,667 --> 00:32:34,918 TELL HIM THAT I'M SUING HIM FOR YOUR SALARY, 706 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,876 SINCE HE TAKES UP ALL YOUR TIME! 707 00:32:36,959 --> 00:32:38,792 IT'S NOT AS BAD AS ALL THAT. 708 00:32:38,876 --> 00:32:40,500 HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO REACH YOU, 709 00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:43,209 NOW KNOWING WHAT ICE-CREAM PARLORS YOU FREQUENT. 710 00:32:43,292 --> 00:32:45,626 YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A VERY SPOILED CHILD, SHERRY. 711 00:32:45,709 --> 00:32:48,334 OH, DON'T TAKE THAT PATRONIZING TONE WITH ME, 712 00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:49,751 YOU FLEA-BITTEN CLEOPATRA. 713 00:32:49,834 --> 00:32:52,292 SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SNEAKING OUT LIKE SOME LOVESICK 714 00:32:52,375 --> 00:32:54,375 HIGH-SCHOOL GIRL EVERY TIME MY BACK IS TURNED. 715 00:32:54,459 --> 00:32:57,209 I'M AFRAID YOU'VE HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. 716 00:32:57,292 --> 00:32:59,375 STOP ACTING LIKE ZASU PITTS 717 00:32:59,459 --> 00:33:01,792 AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF. 718 00:33:01,876 --> 00:33:04,542 WELL, I'LL BE QUICK ABOUT IT. 719 00:33:04,626 --> 00:33:05,709 I'M IN LOVE. 720 00:33:05,792 --> 00:33:08,834 NONSENSE. THIS IS MERELY DELAYED ADOLESCENCE. 721 00:33:08,918 --> 00:33:11,042 NO, SHERRY. YOU'RE JUST ABOUT TO LOSE 722 00:33:11,125 --> 00:33:12,542 A VERY EXCELLENT SECRETARY. 723 00:33:12,626 --> 00:33:15,459 YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR MIND. YES, I THINK I AM A LITTLE. 724 00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:17,459 I'M A GIRL WHO'S WAITED A LONG TIME 725 00:33:17,542 --> 00:33:20,375 FOR THIS TO HAPPEN TO HER, AND NOW IT HAS. 726 00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:22,500 MR. JEFFERSON DOESN'T KNOW IT YET, 727 00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:25,751 BUT I'M GOING TO TRY MY DARNDEST TO MARRY HIM. 728 00:33:25,834 --> 00:33:27,167 IS THAT ALL? 729 00:33:27,250 --> 00:33:28,959 WELL, YES, EXCEPT THAT-- 730 00:33:29,042 --> 00:33:32,417 THIS IS MY RESIGNATION AS SOON AS YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE. 731 00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:34,584 LISTEN TO ME! WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER A LONG TIME. 732 00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:37,209 YOU'RE INDISPENSABLE TO ME. I THINK THAT I'M UNSELFISH ENOUGH 733 00:33:37,292 --> 00:33:40,083 NOT TO LET THAT STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR HAPPINESS... 734 00:33:40,167 --> 00:33:41,834 BECAUSE, WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT, 735 00:33:41,918 --> 00:33:44,042 I'VE A DEEP AFFECTION FOR YOU. I KNOW THAT. 736 00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:46,918 THEREFORE, I WILL NOT LET YOU MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF! 737 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,209 OH, BUT I'M NOT! YOU ARE, MY DEAR. 738 00:33:49,292 --> 00:33:51,500 YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE TILLIE THE TOILER. 739 00:33:51,584 --> 00:33:53,709 OH, IT'S INCREDIBLE. 740 00:33:53,792 --> 00:33:55,500 I DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S HAPPENED, SHERRY. 741 00:33:55,584 --> 00:33:57,584 I CAN ONLY TELL YOU THAT IT HAS. 742 00:33:57,667 --> 00:33:59,375 IT'S HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE MYSELF. 743 00:33:59,459 --> 00:34:01,542 HERE I AM, A HARD-BITTEN OLD CYNIC, 744 00:34:01,626 --> 00:34:04,250 BEHAVING LIKE WINNIE-THE-POOH AND LIKING IT. 745 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:07,125 DISCOVERING THE MOONLIGHT AND ICE-SKATING AND-- 746 00:34:07,209 --> 00:34:08,459 WE'RE LEAVING HERE TOMORROW. 747 00:34:08,542 --> 00:34:10,250 HIP OR NO HIP, WE'RE LEAVING TOMORROW! 748 00:34:10,334 --> 00:34:12,626 I DON'T CARE IF I FRACTURE THE OTHER ONE. 749 00:34:12,709 --> 00:34:14,667 GET ME A TRAIN SCHEDULE AND START PACKING. 750 00:34:14,751 --> 00:34:16,751 I'LL PULL YOU OUT OF THIS, MISS STARDUST. 751 00:34:16,834 --> 00:34:18,292 I'LL GET THE ANTS FROM MOONLIT-- 752 00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:21,125 IT'S NO GOOD, SHERRY. IT'S NO GOOD. 753 00:34:21,209 --> 00:34:23,209 I'D BE BACK ON THE FIRST STREAMLINED TRAIN. 754 00:34:23,292 --> 00:34:25,125 OH, IT'S COMPLETELY UNBELIEVABLE! 755 00:34:25,209 --> 00:34:27,542 CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF THE WIFE OF THE EDITOR 756 00:34:27,626 --> 00:34:30,584 OF THE MESALIA JOURNAL, HAVING AN EVENING AT HOME 757 00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:32,250 FOR MR. AND MRS. STANLEY, 758 00:34:32,334 --> 00:34:34,000 MR. AND MRS. DRIBBLEPUSS, 759 00:34:34,083 --> 00:34:35,834 AND THE MEMBERS OF THE BIG SISTERS' 760 00:34:35,918 --> 00:34:37,334 BENEVOLENT ASSOCIATION? 761 00:34:37,417 --> 00:34:40,584 SHERRY, I'VE HAD 10 YEARS OF THE GREAT FIGURES OF OUR TIME, 762 00:34:40,667 --> 00:34:43,167 AND DON'T THINK I'M NOT GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR IT. 763 00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:44,626 I'VE LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. 764 00:34:44,709 --> 00:34:47,918 THEY'VE BEEN WONDERFUL YEARS-- GAY AND STIMULATING. 765 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,250 I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S HAD MORE FUN THAN WE'VE HAD, 766 00:34:51,334 --> 00:34:54,584 BUT A GIRL CAN'T LAUGH ALL THE TIME, SHERRY. 767 00:34:54,667 --> 00:34:57,876 THERE COMES A TIME WHEN SHE WANTS... 768 00:34:57,959 --> 00:34:59,042 BERT JEFFERSON. 769 00:34:59,125 --> 00:35:01,000 OH! OH, YOU DON'T KNOW BERT, SHERRY. 770 00:35:01,083 --> 00:35:04,000 HE'S GENTLE, AND HE'S UNASSUMING, AND HE'S... 771 00:35:04,083 --> 00:35:05,542 WELL, I LOVE HIM, THAT'S ALL. 772 00:35:05,626 --> 00:35:08,709 I SEE. WELL, I REMAIN COMPLETELY UNCONVINCED. 773 00:35:08,792 --> 00:35:11,834 YOU'RE DRUGGING YOURSELF INTO THIS GINGER ROGERS FANTASY, 774 00:35:11,918 --> 00:35:13,500 AND BEFORE YOU BECOME COMPLETELY ANESTHETIZED, 775 00:35:13,584 --> 00:35:15,334 I SHALL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER 776 00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:17,000 TO BRING YOU TO YOUR SENSES. 777 00:35:17,083 --> 00:35:19,083 NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME, WHITESIDE. 778 00:35:19,167 --> 00:35:20,834 YOU LAY OFF. I KNOW YOU. 779 00:35:20,918 --> 00:35:22,876 I KNOW WHAT A DEVIL YOU CAN BE. 780 00:35:22,959 --> 00:35:24,667 I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO PEOPLE, 781 00:35:24,751 --> 00:35:26,417 BUT YOU'RE NOT DOING IT TO ME. 782 00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:28,626 AND DON'T YOU DRUG YOURSELF WITH THE IDEA 783 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:30,667 THAT YOU'RE ONLY THINKING OF MY HAPPINESS. 784 00:35:30,751 --> 00:35:32,375 YOU'RE THINKING OF ALL THOSE MONTHS 785 00:35:32,459 --> 00:35:33,667 OF BREAKING IN SOMEBODY NEW. 786 00:35:33,751 --> 00:35:35,959 I'VE SEEN YOU IN A PASSION BEFORE 787 00:35:36,042 --> 00:35:37,584 WHEN YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN DISRUPTED 788 00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:38,918 AND YOU COULDN'T DINE 789 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,209 ON JULY 12 IN CALCUTTA 790 00:35:40,292 --> 00:35:42,334 WITH THE MAHARAJAH THIS OR THAT. 791 00:35:42,417 --> 00:35:44,375 WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, SHERRY, 792 00:35:44,459 --> 00:35:46,000 BUT THERE IT IS. 793 00:35:46,083 --> 00:35:48,626 I'M GOING TO MARRY BERT... 794 00:35:48,709 --> 00:35:50,417 IF HE'LL HAVE ME. 795 00:35:51,626 --> 00:35:53,876 DON'T YOU PULL ANY OF YOUR TRICKS ON ME 796 00:35:53,959 --> 00:35:56,042 BECAUSE I'M ONTO EVERY ONE OF THEM. 797 00:35:56,125 --> 00:35:57,918 THAT'S MY MESSAGE TO YOU. 798 00:36:00,292 --> 00:36:03,751 BIG LORD FAUNTLEROY. 799 00:36:28,751 --> 00:36:30,876 LONG DISTANCE, PLEASE. 800 00:36:32,667 --> 00:36:36,459 HELLO. LONG DISTANCE? THIS IS MESALIA 142. 801 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,083 I WANT TO SPEAK TO PALM BEACH, FLORIDA. 802 00:36:42,167 --> 00:36:45,000 MISS LORRAINE SHELDON. 803 00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:47,626 S-H-E-L-D-O-N. 804 00:36:47,709 --> 00:36:50,584 SHE'S AT THE HOME OF LORD CEDRIC BOTTOMLY. 805 00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,334 PALM BEACH. 806 00:36:52,417 --> 00:36:55,000 WELL, WILL IT TAKE LONG? 807 00:36:55,083 --> 00:36:57,959 ALRIGHT, MY NAME IS WHITESIDE. 808 00:36:58,042 --> 00:36:59,542 THANK YOU. 809 00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:01,959 GOOD EVENING, JOHN. 810 00:37:02,042 --> 00:37:03,042 GOOD EVENING, DOCTOR. 811 00:37:04,959 --> 00:37:06,000 OH... 812 00:37:06,083 --> 00:37:09,292 WELL, WELL, GOOD EVENING, MR. WHITESIDE. 813 00:37:09,375 --> 00:37:10,709 COME BACK TOMORROW, DOCTOR. 814 00:37:10,792 --> 00:37:11,667 I'M VERY BUSY NOW. 815 00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:13,167 YEAH, I KNOW IT'S RATHER LATE, 816 00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:15,250 BUT I'VE GOT SOMETHING WONDERFUL TO TELL YOU. 817 00:37:15,334 --> 00:37:17,042 WHAT WOULD BE THE VERY BEST NEWS 818 00:37:17,125 --> 00:37:18,626 THAT I COULD POSSIBLY BRING YOU? 819 00:37:18,709 --> 00:37:20,667 YOU HAVE HYDROPHOBIA. 820 00:37:20,751 --> 00:37:23,375 HA HA HA! NO, NO, MR. WHITESIDE. 821 00:37:23,459 --> 00:37:24,751 YOU'RE A WELL MAN. 822 00:37:24,834 --> 00:37:26,459 YOU CAN GET UP AND WALK. 823 00:37:26,542 --> 00:37:28,459 YOU CAN LEAVE HERE TOMORROW. 824 00:37:28,542 --> 00:37:29,751 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 825 00:37:29,834 --> 00:37:31,959 WELL, I LOOKED AT THE X-RAYS AGAIN TONIGHT, 826 00:37:32,042 --> 00:37:33,292 AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 827 00:37:33,375 --> 00:37:35,083 I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT THE WRONG X-RAYS. 828 00:37:35,167 --> 00:37:37,667 I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT OLD MRS. MOFFIT'S X-RAYS. 829 00:37:37,751 --> 00:37:40,250 YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY PERFECTLY WELL. 830 00:37:40,334 --> 00:37:42,167 LOWER YOUR VOICE, WILL YOU PLEASE? 831 00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:43,709 WHAT'S THE MATTER? AREN'T YOU PLEASED? 832 00:37:43,792 --> 00:37:46,042 WELL, DELIGHTED, OF COURSE, NATURALLY, 833 00:37:46,125 --> 00:37:48,042 BUT IT'S A RATHER UNEXPECTED BIT OF NEWS, 834 00:37:48,125 --> 00:37:50,959 HOWEVER. IT COMES AT A VERY CURIOUS MOMENT. 835 00:37:51,042 --> 00:37:52,709 I--UH...DOCTOR, 836 00:37:52,792 --> 00:37:54,500 I'VE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, TOO. 837 00:37:54,584 --> 00:37:55,792 I'VE BEEN READING YOUR BOOK-- 838 00:37:55,876 --> 00:37:57,250 40 YEARS-- WHAT'S IT CALLED? 839 00:37:57,334 --> 00:37:58,667 AN OHIO DOCTOR. THAT'S IT. 840 00:37:58,751 --> 00:38:01,250 I CONSIDER IT CLOSE TO BEING ONE OF THE GREATEST 841 00:38:01,334 --> 00:38:02,667 LITERARY CONTRIBUTIONS OF OUR TIME. 842 00:38:02,751 --> 00:38:04,292 OH, MR. WHITESIDE. 843 00:38:04,375 --> 00:38:06,709 I HAVE A PROPOSITION TO MAKE YOU. 844 00:38:06,792 --> 00:38:09,167 NOW, THE BOOK'S A LITTLE UNEVEN, A LITTLE ROUGH. 845 00:38:09,250 --> 00:38:12,167 WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO IS TO STAY HERE IN MESALIA 846 00:38:12,250 --> 00:38:13,709 AND WORK WITH YOU ON IT. 847 00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:14,918 OH, MR. WHITESIDE, 848 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,167 I SHOULD BE SO TERRIBLY HONORED. 849 00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:19,125 YES, BUT THERE'S JUST ONE SLIGHT DIFFICULTY. 850 00:38:19,209 --> 00:38:20,834 YOU SEE, IF MY LECTURE BUREAU 851 00:38:20,918 --> 00:38:21,959 AND MY RADIO SPONSORS 852 00:38:22,042 --> 00:38:23,459 WERE TO LEARN THAT I'M WELL, 853 00:38:23,542 --> 00:38:25,292 THEY'D INSIST UPON MY FULFILLING MY CONTRACTS, 854 00:38:25,375 --> 00:38:27,042 AND I'D BE FORCED TO LEAVE MESALIA. 855 00:38:27,125 --> 00:38:28,584 THEREFORE, WE MUST NOT TELL ANYONE-- 856 00:38:28,667 --> 00:38:30,542 NOT ANYONE AT ALL-- THAT I'M WELL. 857 00:38:30,626 --> 00:38:31,584 OH, I SEE. 858 00:38:31,667 --> 00:38:33,167 NOT EVEN MISS CUTLER. YOU UNDERSTAND? 859 00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:35,667 I WON'T--NOT A SOUL, NOT EVEN MY WIFE. 860 00:38:35,751 --> 00:38:36,667 THAT'S FINE. 861 00:38:36,751 --> 00:38:37,709 MR. WHITESIDE, 862 00:38:37,792 --> 00:38:39,834 WHEN SHALL WE START WORK ON MY BOOK-- 863 00:38:39,918 --> 00:38:41,083 TONIGHT, LATE AS IT IS? 864 00:38:41,167 --> 00:38:43,000 I'VE JUST GOT ONE PATIENT THAT'S DYING. 865 00:38:43,083 --> 00:38:45,334 THEN I'LL BE PERFECTLY FREE. 866 00:38:46,626 --> 00:38:48,375 TOMORROW MORNING. THIS IS A PRIVATE CALL. 867 00:38:48,459 --> 00:38:50,250 IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME. YES. HELLO. 868 00:38:50,334 --> 00:38:52,375 YES, I'M ON. 869 00:38:52,459 --> 00:38:54,292 GOODNIGHT, DOCTOR. GOODNIGHT. 870 00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:57,918 GOODNIGHT. I'LL BE HERE EARLY IN THE MORNING. 871 00:38:59,459 --> 00:39:01,125 HELLO. 872 00:39:01,209 --> 00:39:03,417 IS THIS MY BLOSSOM GIRL? 873 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:08,751 SHERRY, MY SWEET. HOW ARE YOU, DARLING? 874 00:39:08,834 --> 00:39:10,250 LORRAINE, MY BLOSSOM, 875 00:39:10,334 --> 00:39:12,542 I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL NEWS FOR YOU. 876 00:39:12,626 --> 00:39:14,584 I'VE BEEN READING THE MOST BRILLIANT PLAY 877 00:39:14,667 --> 00:39:16,626 WITH AN ENCHANTING PART IN IT FOR YOU. 878 00:39:16,709 --> 00:39:18,459 WHY, YOU'RE ONSTAGE EVERY MINUTE. 879 00:39:18,542 --> 00:39:20,751 DARLING! 880 00:39:20,834 --> 00:39:22,626 WHAT? 881 00:39:22,709 --> 00:39:25,334 DARLING, WHY DO I HAVE TO COME THERE? 882 00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:26,918 CAN'T YOU SEND IT TO ME? 883 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,417 LORD CEDRIC'S BRINGING THE YACHT DOWN TOMORROW. 884 00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:32,083 NOW, WAIT, WAIT. LET ME EXPLAIN. 885 00:39:32,167 --> 00:39:34,626 THE AUTHOR IS A YOUNG NEWSPAPERMAN HERE IN TOWN. 886 00:39:34,709 --> 00:39:36,042 HIS NAME IS BERT JEFFERSON. 887 00:39:36,125 --> 00:39:37,667 OF COURSE, HE WANTS KATHARINE CORNELL, 888 00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:40,334 BUT IF YOU JUMP ON A TRAIN AND GET HERE, 889 00:39:40,417 --> 00:39:41,334 YOU COULD SWING IT 890 00:39:41,417 --> 00:39:43,042 IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT. 891 00:39:43,125 --> 00:39:47,709 WHAT? NO. HE'S YOUNG AND VERY ATTRACTIVE. 892 00:39:47,792 --> 00:39:50,292 WHY, HE'S JUST YOUR DISH, MY DEAR. 893 00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:52,125 WELL, IT JUST TAKES A LITTLE DOING, 894 00:39:52,209 --> 00:39:54,417 AND YOU'RE THE GIRL THAT CAN DO IT. 895 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:55,959 ISN'T THAT EXCITING, MY PET? 896 00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:57,292 OH. 897 00:39:57,375 --> 00:40:01,083 OH, YES, I UNDERSTAND. 898 00:40:01,167 --> 00:40:03,209 SHERRY, YOU'RE THE DEAR SWEET OF THE WORLD, 899 00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:06,167 AND I'LL TAKE THE FIRST TRAIN TOMORROW MORNING. 900 00:40:06,250 --> 00:40:09,459 GOOD-LOOKING, TOO, HUH? I CAN HARDLY WAIT. 901 00:40:09,542 --> 00:40:12,083 AND LOOK, DON'T SEND ME ANY MESSAGES. 902 00:40:12,167 --> 00:40:15,167 JUST GET ON A TRAIN AND ARRIVE. 903 00:40:16,375 --> 00:40:18,792 THAT'S MY BLOSSOM GIRL. 904 00:40:18,876 --> 00:40:21,209 GOOD-BYE. 905 00:40:26,417 --> 00:40:27,834 I FORGOT YOUR SLEEPING TABLET. 906 00:40:27,918 --> 00:40:29,000 HELLO, MISS PREEN! 907 00:40:29,083 --> 00:40:30,709 MY, YOU'RE LOOKING RADIANT THIS EVENING! 908 00:40:30,792 --> 00:40:32,792 SIT DOWN. STAY AWHILE. 909 00:41:04,209 --> 00:41:06,584 SHERRY, I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID JUST NOW. 910 00:41:06,667 --> 00:41:07,792 I'M AFRAID I WAS UNJUST. 911 00:41:07,876 --> 00:41:09,709 OH, THAT'S QUITE ALRIGHT, MAGGIE, MY DEAR. 912 00:41:09,792 --> 00:41:11,417 WE ALL LOSE OUR TEMPERS. 913 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:12,417 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 914 00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,000 JUST GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. 915 00:41:14,083 --> 00:41:15,250 PEOPLE MISJUDGE YOU, SHERRY. 916 00:41:15,334 --> 00:41:17,334 YOU'RE REALLY VERY SWEET. 917 00:41:17,417 --> 00:41:18,584 GOODNIGHT. 918 00:41:18,667 --> 00:41:20,709 GOODNIGHT. SWEET DREAMS. 919 00:41:20,792 --> 00:41:23,250 THANK YOU. GOODNIGHT, SHERRY. 920 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,459 WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ALL THERE ARE, MISS CUTLER. 921 00:41:49,542 --> 00:41:50,959 THANK YOU, JOHN. 922 00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:53,751 MY, I NEVER SAW ANYONE GET SO MANY PRESENTS. 923 00:41:53,834 --> 00:41:56,250 I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE WHAT'S IN THEM. 924 00:41:56,334 --> 00:41:58,375 WHEN WILL MR. WHITESIDE OPEN THEM, MISS CUTLER? 925 00:41:58,459 --> 00:42:00,167 WELL, YOU SEE, JOHN, CHRISTMAS IS 926 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:01,709 MR. WHITESIDE'S PERSONAL PROPERTY. 927 00:42:01,792 --> 00:42:03,626 HE INVENTED IT. IT BELONGS TO HIM. 928 00:42:03,709 --> 00:42:05,250 TOMORROW MORNING, VERY FIRST THING, 929 00:42:05,334 --> 00:42:08,083 MR. WHITESIDE WILL OPEN EACH AND EVERY PRESENT, 930 00:42:08,167 --> 00:42:10,000 AND HE'LL RAISE THE BIGGEST STINK 931 00:42:10,083 --> 00:42:11,834 THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE. 932 00:42:11,918 --> 00:42:14,667 FROM WINSTON CHURCHILL... 933 00:42:14,751 --> 00:42:17,292 DEANNA DURBIN... 934 00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:19,209 GYPSY ROSE LEE... 935 00:42:19,292 --> 00:42:22,083 SOMERSET MAUG-HAM. 936 00:42:22,167 --> 00:42:24,125 MY, I CAN HARDLY WAIT TILL TOMORROW. 937 00:42:28,209 --> 00:42:29,334 ISN'T IT WONDERFUL? 938 00:42:29,417 --> 00:42:31,584 MR. WHITESIDE'S TREE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, TOO. 939 00:42:31,667 --> 00:42:34,209 MR. AND MRS. STANLEY CAN HARDLY UNDRESS AT NIGHT 940 00:42:34,292 --> 00:42:35,792 WITH THEIR TREE IN THEIR BEDROOM. 941 00:42:35,876 --> 00:42:37,000 Bert: GOOD EVENING, JOHN. 942 00:42:37,083 --> 00:42:38,417 GOOD EVENING, MR. JEFFERSON. 943 00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:40,626 HIYA, MAGGIE. MERRY CHRISTMAS, SARAH. 944 00:42:40,709 --> 00:42:42,209 MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. JEFFERSON. 945 00:42:42,292 --> 00:42:44,042 SAY, BUSINESS IS GOOD, ISN'T IT? 946 00:42:44,125 --> 00:42:45,959 MY, WHAT A LITTLE QUIET BLACKMAIL 947 00:42:46,042 --> 00:42:48,042 AND A WEEKLY RADIO SHOW CAN GET YOU. 948 00:42:48,125 --> 00:42:49,626 WHAT DO HIS SPONSORS GIVE HIM? 949 00:42:49,709 --> 00:42:52,167 A FULL YEAR'S SUPPLY OF THEIR PRODUCT-- 950 00:42:52,250 --> 00:42:53,209 CREAM OF MUSH. 951 00:42:53,292 --> 00:42:55,209 CREAM OF MUSH. WELL, HE'LL GIVE IT 952 00:42:55,292 --> 00:42:57,000 RIGHT BACK TO THEM OVER THE AIR. 953 00:42:57,083 --> 00:42:59,500 WAIT TILL YOU HEAR TONIGHT'S BROADCAST, OLD FELLOW. 954 00:42:59,584 --> 00:43:03,375 I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET IT OFF MY FINGERS SINCE I GOT IT. 955 00:43:03,459 --> 00:43:05,125 I'LL BET. 956 00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:07,834 LOOK, I'LL COME CLEAN. 957 00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:09,667 UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF HEAVEN KNOWS WHAT, 958 00:43:09,751 --> 00:43:11,500 I'VE JUST BOUGHT YOU A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 959 00:43:11,584 --> 00:43:13,167 WHY, MR. JEFFERSON, SIR. 960 00:43:13,250 --> 00:43:14,626 I'D LIKE YOU TO SEE IT 961 00:43:14,709 --> 00:43:16,500 BEFORE I THROW AWAY MY HARD-EARNED MONEY. 962 00:43:16,584 --> 00:43:18,125 CAN WE GO AND CHECK IT? 963 00:43:18,209 --> 00:43:19,751 BERT, THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU. 964 00:43:19,834 --> 00:43:20,918 I'M QUITE TOUCHED. 965 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,417 WHAT IS IT? I CAN'T WAIT. 966 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:24,167 YOU THINK I'M GONNA TELL YOU? 967 00:43:24,250 --> 00:43:25,250 COME AND SEE. 968 00:43:25,334 --> 00:43:26,542 ALRIGHT. 969 00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:29,959 SHERRY! 970 00:43:32,584 --> 00:43:33,459 SHERRY, 971 00:43:33,542 --> 00:43:35,250 I'M GOING OUT FOR A FEW MINUTES 972 00:43:35,334 --> 00:43:38,500 WITH HORACE GREELEY. I WON'T BE LONG. 973 00:43:38,584 --> 00:43:40,250 NOEL, NOEL, MR. W. 974 00:43:40,334 --> 00:43:42,125 HOW ABOUT A LITTLE GIN RUMMY TONIGHT 975 00:43:42,209 --> 00:43:43,500 AFTER YOUR BROADCAST? 976 00:43:43,584 --> 00:43:46,209 I WILL NOT PLAY GIN RUMMY WITH YOU, KLONDIKE HARRY. 977 00:43:46,292 --> 00:43:48,209 YOU'VE BEEN SWINDLING THE PANTS OFF ME 978 00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:49,417 FOR 2 WEEKS. 979 00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:51,542 WHAT ARE YOU GIVING ME FOR CHRISTMAS, JEFFERSON? 980 00:43:51,626 --> 00:43:53,292 I'VE ENRICHED YOUR FEEBLE LIFE 981 00:43:53,375 --> 00:43:54,876 BEYOND YOUR CAPACITY TO REPAY ME. 982 00:43:54,959 --> 00:43:55,959 THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED, 983 00:43:56,042 --> 00:43:57,626 SO I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANYTHING. 984 00:43:57,709 --> 00:43:58,667 I SEE. 985 00:43:58,751 --> 00:44:00,792 I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU MY OLD TRUSS, 986 00:44:00,876 --> 00:44:02,250 BUT NOW I SHAN'T. 987 00:44:04,292 --> 00:44:07,167 SHERRY, THE RADIO MAN 30. 988 00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:08,584 I'LL BE BACK IN TIME. 989 00:44:08,667 --> 00:44:10,959 WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO, ANYWAY, MADAM BUTTERFLY? 990 00:44:11,042 --> 00:44:12,626 I'M BEING GIVEN A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 991 00:44:12,709 --> 00:44:14,667 ANYTHING I CAN BRING BACK FROM DOWNTOWN? 992 00:44:14,751 --> 00:44:16,792 YES. BRING BABY A LOLLIPOP. 993 00:44:16,876 --> 00:44:18,375 HA HA HA! 994 00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:21,792 Maggie: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU BOUGHT ME. 995 00:44:21,876 --> 00:44:23,167 I'M LIKE A 10-YEAR-OLD KID. 996 00:44:23,250 --> 00:44:25,250 YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK LIKE A 10-YEAR-OLD KID 997 00:44:25,334 --> 00:44:27,209 RIGHT NOW, MAGGIE, AT THAT. 998 00:44:39,751 --> 00:44:42,918 OPERATOR, GIVE ME THE MANSION HOUSE. 999 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,250 NO, I DON'T KNOW THE NUMBER! 1000 00:44:47,125 --> 00:44:48,417 HELLO. 1001 00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:49,876 MANSION HOUSE? TELL ME, 1002 00:44:49,959 --> 00:44:52,250 HAS A MISS LORRAINE SHELDON ARRIVED YET? 1003 00:44:52,334 --> 00:44:53,417 YES, THAT'S RIGHT-- 1004 00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:55,959 MISS LORRAINE SHELDON FROM PALM BEACH. 1005 00:44:56,042 --> 00:44:58,042 SHE HASN'T, EH? 1006 00:45:14,834 --> 00:45:16,876 WHAT DO YOU WANT, COMING IN LIKE THAT? 1007 00:45:16,959 --> 00:45:18,500 WHY DON'T YOU KNOCK? 1008 00:45:18,584 --> 00:45:21,834 BUT I WASN'T COMING IN. I WAS COMING OUT. 1009 00:45:21,918 --> 00:45:24,626 MISS PREEN, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY IN THIS ROOM. ISN'T IT? 1010 00:45:24,709 --> 00:45:25,626 YES, IT-- 1011 00:45:25,709 --> 00:45:27,000 WELL, THEREFORE YOU CAME IN. 1012 00:45:27,083 --> 00:45:28,459 HEREAFTER, PLEASE KNOCK. 1013 00:45:28,542 --> 00:45:30,584 THERE ARE SOME EXPRESSMEN OUTSIDE WITH A CRATE 1014 00:45:30,667 --> 00:45:32,709 I TOLD THEM TO GO TO THE FRONT. 1015 00:45:32,792 --> 00:45:33,959 THANK YOU, JOHN. 1016 00:45:34,042 --> 00:45:35,209 DON'T STAND THERE, MISS PREEN. 1017 00:45:35,292 --> 00:45:36,876 YOU LOOK LIKE A FROZEN CUSTARD. 1018 00:45:36,959 --> 00:45:38,292 GO AWAY! 1019 00:45:45,209 --> 00:45:46,667 WHAT IS IT THIS TIME, JOE? 1020 00:45:46,751 --> 00:45:47,792 PENGUINS, MR. STANLEY-- 1021 00:45:47,876 --> 00:45:49,626 ALL THE WAY FROM THE SOUTH POLE. 1022 00:45:49,709 --> 00:45:51,792 PENGUINS! 4 OF THEM-- 1023 00:45:51,876 --> 00:45:54,918 2 GIRLS AND 2 BOYS, I THINK. 1024 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,918 4! WELL, HE CAN'T NAME THEM ALL AFTER ME. 1025 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,542 HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN, DAISY. 1026 00:46:00,626 --> 00:46:02,125 HA HA--HUH? 1027 00:46:03,334 --> 00:46:04,500 RIGHT IN HERE, BOYS. 1028 00:46:06,334 --> 00:46:08,500 CAREFUL, NOW. DON'T BUMP INTO ANYTHING. 1029 00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:11,375 WHO'S IT FROM, JOE? 1030 00:46:11,459 --> 00:46:12,626 ADMIRAL BYRD. THEY'RE PENGUINS. 1031 00:46:12,709 --> 00:46:15,375 DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO FEED THEM ON TOP. 1032 00:46:15,459 --> 00:46:17,334 "TO BE FED ONLY WHALE BLUBBER, 1033 00:46:17,417 --> 00:46:20,334 EELS, AND CRACKED LOBSTER." 1034 00:46:20,417 --> 00:46:22,000 THEY GOT ROOT BEER THIS MORNING 1035 00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:23,209 AND LIKED IT. 1036 00:46:24,834 --> 00:46:26,667 HELLO, HELLO, HELLO. YOU KNOW, THEY MAKE 1037 00:46:26,751 --> 00:46:28,542 THE MOST ENTRANCING COMPANIONS, JOHN. 1038 00:46:28,626 --> 00:46:30,167 ADMIRAL BYRD HAS ONE THAT GOES 1039 00:46:30,250 --> 00:46:31,667 ON ALL HIS LECTURES. 1040 00:46:31,751 --> 00:46:33,292 I WANT THESE IN THE LIBRARY. 1041 00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:34,667 TAKE THEM IN, PLEASE? 1042 00:46:34,751 --> 00:46:37,375 AND TELL SARAH TO ORDER A COUPLE OF THOSE LOBSTERS. 1043 00:46:37,459 --> 00:46:39,375 THERE'S NO WHALE BLUBBER IN THIS TOWN. 1044 00:46:39,459 --> 00:46:40,334 GOOD EVENING. 1045 00:46:40,417 --> 00:46:41,876 OH, YES, THERE IS. 1046 00:46:41,959 --> 00:46:43,042 MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. WHITESIDE. 1047 00:46:43,125 --> 00:46:44,417 MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1048 00:46:44,500 --> 00:46:47,167 YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW IF EELS ARE IN SEASON, DOCTOR? 1049 00:46:47,250 --> 00:46:48,125 HOW'S THAT? 1050 00:46:48,209 --> 00:46:50,125 NEVER MIND. I WAS A FOOL TO ASK. 1051 00:46:50,209 --> 00:46:52,209 I OPENED THOSE SLATS A LITTLE, MR. WHITESIDE. 1052 00:46:52,292 --> 00:46:53,834 THEY SEEMED SO CROWDED IN THERE. 1053 00:46:53,918 --> 00:46:55,125 OH, THANK YOU, JOHN. 1054 00:46:56,667 --> 00:47:00,375 HMM. MUST BE MR. STANLEY WRESTLING WITH MY OCTOPUS. 1055 00:47:01,417 --> 00:47:02,959 OH, MR. WHITESIDE. 1056 00:47:03,042 --> 00:47:04,083 GOOD-BYE, DOCTOR. 1057 00:47:04,167 --> 00:47:05,876 SORRY YOU HAPPENED TO DROP IN NOW. 1058 00:47:05,959 --> 00:47:07,709 I HAVE TO DO MY YOGI EXERCISES. 1059 00:47:07,792 --> 00:47:09,667 BUT, MR. WHITESIDE, IT'S A WEEK NOW-- 1060 00:47:09,751 --> 00:47:10,876 MY BOOK, YOU KNOW. 1061 00:47:10,959 --> 00:47:13,459 WHEN ARE WE GOING TO START WORK ON MY BOOK? 1062 00:47:13,542 --> 00:47:15,876 I THOUGHT PERHAPS TODAY MAYBE WE-- 1063 00:47:15,959 --> 00:47:17,083 GOOD EVENING, DR. BRADLEY. 1064 00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:19,584 GOOD EVENING, MISS PREEN. 1065 00:47:30,250 --> 00:47:31,584 DOCTOR, PERHAPS I'M NOT WELL, 1066 00:47:31,667 --> 00:47:33,751 BUT WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR JUST NOW, 1067 00:47:33,834 --> 00:47:34,918 I SAW A PENGUIN 1068 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,459 WITH A THERMOMETER IN HIS MOUTH. 1069 00:47:36,542 --> 00:47:39,167 THOSE PENGUINS GOT OUT OF THEIR CRATE? 1070 00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:40,292 DID YOU SAY PENGUINS? 1071 00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:41,542 YES. 1072 00:47:41,626 --> 00:47:44,167 I WAS AFRAID THE STRAIN WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME. 1073 00:47:44,250 --> 00:47:45,292 PENGUINS? YES, DOCTOR. 1074 00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:47,125 WOULD YOU GO IN AND CAPTURE THEM, 1075 00:47:47,209 --> 00:47:48,876 AND PUT THEM IN THEIR CRATE? 1076 00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:52,125 CAPTURE THE PENGUINS? 1077 00:47:52,209 --> 00:47:54,083 THAT'S RIGHT, AND, MISS PREEN, 1078 00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:56,584 WILL YOU ENTERTAIN THEM, PLEASE, UNTIL I COME IN? 1079 00:47:56,667 --> 00:47:58,125 YES, SIR. 1080 00:47:59,584 --> 00:48:00,792 CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE BEDROOM 1081 00:48:00,876 --> 00:48:02,083 JUST FELL ON MR. STANLEY. 1082 00:48:02,167 --> 00:48:04,209 HE GOT A BIG BUMP ON HIS FOREHEAD. 1083 00:48:04,292 --> 00:48:07,459 HA HA! ISN'T THAT TOO BAD? 1084 00:48:07,542 --> 00:48:09,918 GO AHEAD, DOCTOR. GO ON, MISS PREEN. 1085 00:48:11,959 --> 00:48:13,209 HELLO, MR. WHITESIDE. 1086 00:48:13,292 --> 00:48:14,542 HELLO, DICKIE, MY BOY! 1087 00:48:14,626 --> 00:48:16,792 BUT, MR. WHITESIDE, WILL YOU HAVE 1088 00:48:16,876 --> 00:48:18,834 SOME TIME LATER TODAY? MY BOOK. 1089 00:48:18,918 --> 00:48:21,542 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, DOCTOR. I'M BUSY NOW. 1090 00:48:21,626 --> 00:48:23,542 WELL, SUPPOSE I WAIT A LITTLE WHILE? 1091 00:48:23,626 --> 00:48:25,250 I'LL WAIT A LITTLE WHILE. 1092 00:48:25,334 --> 00:48:26,792 DR. BRADLEY IS THE GREATEST 1093 00:48:26,876 --> 00:48:29,500 LIVING ARGUMENT FOR MERCY KILLING. 1094 00:48:29,584 --> 00:48:30,834 WELL, RICHARD, WOULD YOU LIKE 1095 00:48:30,918 --> 00:48:32,000 A CANDID CAMERA SHOT 1096 00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:33,542 OF MY LEFT NOSTRIL THIS EVENING? 1097 00:48:33,626 --> 00:48:35,292 I'M SORT OF STOCKED UP ON THOSE. 1098 00:48:35,375 --> 00:48:38,209 YOU GOT A MINUTE TO SEE SOME NEW ONES I'VE TAKEN? 1099 00:48:38,292 --> 00:48:39,626 I CERTAINLY HAVE. 1100 00:48:42,083 --> 00:48:43,959 THESE ARE SPLENDID, RICHARD. 1101 00:48:44,042 --> 00:48:46,334 I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS. 1102 00:48:46,417 --> 00:48:48,042 YOU'RE NOT A KID FOOLING AROUND 1103 00:48:48,125 --> 00:48:49,083 WITH A CAMERA. 1104 00:48:49,167 --> 00:48:50,000 THESE ARE GOOD. 1105 00:48:50,083 --> 00:48:51,667 THIS IS WHAT YOU OUGHT TO DO. 1106 00:48:51,751 --> 00:48:54,500 YOU MUST DO SOME OF THOSE THINGS YOU'VE BEEN TELLING ME. 1107 00:48:54,584 --> 00:48:56,959 GET ON A BOAT. GET OFF WHEREVER IT STOPS-- 1108 00:48:57,042 --> 00:48:59,000 GALVESTON, MEXICO, SINGAPORE! 1109 00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:01,500 WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH AND TAKE PICTURES-- 1110 00:49:01,584 --> 00:49:02,834 TERRIBLE PICTURES, WONDERFUL PICTURES, 1111 00:49:02,918 --> 00:49:04,042 EVERYTHING. 1112 00:49:04,125 --> 00:49:06,667 THEN, I'D BE THE HAPPIEST GUY IN THE WORLD. 1113 00:49:06,751 --> 00:49:07,876 WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT? 1114 00:49:07,959 --> 00:49:10,000 IF I WERE YOUR AGE, I'D DO IT. 1115 00:49:10,083 --> 00:49:11,334 YOU KNOW WHY. 1116 00:49:11,417 --> 00:49:12,876 DAD. 1117 00:49:12,959 --> 00:49:16,375 DO YOU REALLY WANNNA DO THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE? 1118 00:49:16,459 --> 00:49:17,459 I CERTAINLY DO. 1119 00:49:17,542 --> 00:49:18,667 WELL, THEN DO IT. 1120 00:49:18,751 --> 00:49:19,667 HELLO, DICK. 1121 00:49:19,751 --> 00:49:21,250 GOOD EVENING, MR. WHITESIDE. 1122 00:49:21,334 --> 00:49:22,584 HELLO, LOVELY. 1123 00:49:22,667 --> 00:49:25,209 SO, RICHARD, I'M AFRAID IT'S UP TO YOU. 1124 00:49:25,292 --> 00:49:26,792 I GUESS IT IS. 1125 00:49:26,876 --> 00:49:28,042 THANK YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. 1126 00:49:28,125 --> 00:49:30,000 YOU'VE BEEN SWELL, I'LL NEVER FORGET IT. 1127 00:49:30,083 --> 00:49:31,000 ALRIGHT, RICHARD. 1128 00:49:31,083 --> 00:49:32,042 ARE YOU COMING UPSTAIRS? 1129 00:49:32,125 --> 00:49:33,334 YES, IN A FEW MINUTES. 1130 00:49:33,417 --> 00:49:35,709 KNOCK ON MY DOOR, I WANNA TALK TO YOU. 1131 00:49:35,792 --> 00:49:37,209 YES, I WILL. UH, MR. WHITESIDE, 1132 00:49:37,292 --> 00:49:39,417 MAY I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A FEW MINUTES? 1133 00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:42,042 WHY, CERTAINLY, MY DEAR. I TAKE IT THIS IS ABOUT 1134 00:49:42,125 --> 00:49:43,959 YOUR YOUNG LOTHARIO AT THE FACTORY. 1135 00:49:44,042 --> 00:49:46,751 YES. I SIMPLY CAN'T GET FATHER TO UNDERSTAND. 1136 00:49:46,834 --> 00:49:48,459 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 1137 00:49:48,542 --> 00:49:51,125 SANDY AND I LOVE EACH OTHER. 1138 00:49:51,209 --> 00:49:53,000 I'D LIKE TO MEET THIS YOUNG MAN. 1139 00:49:53,083 --> 00:49:54,876 I'D LIKE TO SEE HIM FOR MYSELF. 1140 00:49:54,959 --> 00:49:56,125 WOULD YOU MEET HIM? 1141 00:49:56,209 --> 00:49:57,709 HE'S OUTSIDE. HE'S IN THE KITCHEN. 1142 00:49:57,792 --> 00:49:59,000 GOOD. BRING HIM IN. 1143 00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,542 OH, MR. WHITESIDE, 1144 00:50:00,626 --> 00:50:01,918 HE'S A VERY SENSITIVE BOY. 1145 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,792 YOU'LL BE KIND TO HIM, WON'T YOU? 1146 00:50:03,876 --> 00:50:04,751 CONFOUND IT, JUNE! 1147 00:50:04,834 --> 00:50:06,375 WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN 1148 00:50:06,459 --> 00:50:08,459 THAT I'M ALWAYS KIND AND COURTEOUS? 1149 00:50:08,542 --> 00:50:10,250 BRING THIS IDIOT IN. 1150 00:50:11,667 --> 00:50:13,918 SANDY. SANDY! 1151 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,626 HERE HE IS, MR. WHITESIDE. THIS IS SANDY. 1152 00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:17,959 HOW DO YOU DO, SIR? 1153 00:50:18,042 --> 00:50:19,250 HOW DO YOU DO? 1154 00:50:19,334 --> 00:50:21,918 I'VE BEEN HEARING A GOOD DEAL ABOUT YOU FROM JUNE. 1155 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,584 IF I HAVE BEEN CORRECTLY INFORMED, 1156 00:50:23,667 --> 00:50:25,375 YOU TWO BABES IN THE WOODS 1157 00:50:25,459 --> 00:50:27,083 HAVE GONE QUIETLY OUT OF YOUR MINDS. 1158 00:50:27,167 --> 00:50:29,250 THERE'S ANOTHER NAME FOR IT. IT'S CALLED LOVE. 1159 00:50:29,334 --> 00:50:31,000 WELL, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. 1160 00:50:31,083 --> 00:50:33,209 DR. SHERIDAN WHITESIDE-- BROKEN HEARTS MENDED, 1161 00:50:33,292 --> 00:50:34,834 BRAKES RELINED, HAMBURGERS. 1162 00:50:34,918 --> 00:50:36,125 GO RIGHT AHEAD. 1163 00:50:36,209 --> 00:50:37,709 IF JUNE HAS TOLD YOU ANYTHING, 1164 00:50:37,792 --> 00:50:39,250 YOU KNOW THE JAM WE'RE IN. 1165 00:50:39,334 --> 00:50:40,751 I WORK FOR THE UNION, 1166 00:50:40,834 --> 00:50:42,209 MR. WHITESIDE. I'M AN ORGANIZER, 1167 00:50:42,292 --> 00:50:44,626 I'VE BEEN ORGANIZING THE MEN AT MR. STANLEY'S FACTORY, 1168 00:50:44,709 --> 00:50:46,292 AND MR. STANLEY'S SORE ABOUT IT. 1169 00:50:46,375 --> 00:50:47,334 HA HA! I'LL BET. 1170 00:50:47,417 --> 00:50:48,459 JUNE TOLD YOU. 1171 00:50:48,542 --> 00:50:49,500 YES, SHE DID. 1172 00:50:49,584 --> 00:50:50,876 SANDY'S LEAVING TOWN TONIGHT 1173 00:50:50,959 --> 00:50:52,042 FOR CHICAGO, MR. WHITESIDE. 1174 00:50:52,125 --> 00:50:53,876 HE'LL PROBABLY BE GONE A YEAR. 1175 00:50:53,959 --> 00:50:55,584 WE'VE SIMPLY GOT TO DECIDE NOW. 1176 00:50:55,667 --> 00:50:57,167 WELL, MY DEAR, IT'S ABSURDLY SIMPLE. 1177 00:50:57,250 --> 00:50:58,417 IT'S NO PROBLEM AT ALL. 1178 00:50:58,500 --> 00:51:00,000 SUPPOSE YOUR PARENTS ARE UNHAPPY. 1179 00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:01,792 IT'S GOOD FOR THEM-- DEVELOPS THEIR CHARACTERS. 1180 00:51:01,876 --> 00:51:04,626 LOOK AT ME. I LEFT HOME AT THE AGE OF 4, 1181 00:51:04,709 --> 00:51:06,125 AND I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK SINCE. 1182 00:51:06,209 --> 00:51:09,000 THEY HEAR ME OVER THE RADIO, AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR THEM. 1183 00:51:09,083 --> 00:51:10,792 THEN YOUR ADVICE IS TO GO AHEAD? 1184 00:51:10,876 --> 00:51:12,459 IT IS. MARRY HIM TONIGHT, JUNE. 1185 00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:13,667 YOU MEAN THAT? 1186 00:51:13,751 --> 00:51:15,042 NO. 1187 00:51:15,125 --> 00:51:17,083 I MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD MARRY WALTER WINCHELL. 1188 00:51:17,167 --> 00:51:20,167 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, SAY IT ALL OVER AGAIN? 1189 00:51:20,250 --> 00:51:22,042 Ernest: DAISY, I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER. 1190 00:51:22,125 --> 00:51:24,292 THERE'S DAD. COME ON. 1191 00:51:31,709 --> 00:51:33,667 FORGIVE US FOR TRESPASSING, MR. WHITESIDE. 1192 00:51:33,751 --> 00:51:36,292 NOT AT ALL, OLD FELLOW. IT'S CHRISTMAS, YOU KNOW. 1193 00:51:36,375 --> 00:51:38,167 MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1194 00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,834 AH, YES, MERRY CHRISTMAS. COME ALONG, DAISY. 1195 00:51:40,918 --> 00:51:41,918 WHY, MR. STANLEY, 1196 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,500 WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR FOREHEAD? 1197 00:51:43,584 --> 00:51:45,083 HAVE YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT? 1198 00:51:45,167 --> 00:51:47,626 NO, MR. WHITESIDE. I AM TAKING BOXING LESSONS. 1199 00:51:47,709 --> 00:51:49,167 ALRIGHT, DAISY. 1200 00:51:50,792 --> 00:51:52,000 BOO! 1201 00:51:58,334 --> 00:52:00,292 Good-bye. 1202 00:52:06,751 --> 00:52:08,375 DEAR MR. WHITESIDE, 1203 00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:11,125 I'VE BEEN TRYING ALL DAY TO SEE YOU 1204 00:52:11,209 --> 00:52:12,459 TO GIVE YOU THIS. 1205 00:52:12,542 --> 00:52:14,709 WHY, MISS STANLEY, A CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR ME? 1206 00:52:14,792 --> 00:52:16,250 OH, IT'S JUST A TRIFLE, 1207 00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:18,292 BUT I WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT. 1208 00:52:18,375 --> 00:52:21,500 IT'S A PICTURE OF ME AS I USED TO BE. 1209 00:52:21,584 --> 00:52:23,751 IT WAS TAKEN ON ANOTHER CHRISTMAS EVE 1210 00:52:23,834 --> 00:52:25,584 MANY YEARS AGO. 1211 00:52:28,292 --> 00:52:30,459 DON'T OPEN IT TILL THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT, 1212 00:52:30,542 --> 00:52:32,000 WILL YOU? 1213 00:52:34,209 --> 00:52:37,751 MERRY CHRISTMAS, DEAR MR. WHITESIDE. 1214 00:52:37,834 --> 00:52:39,542 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1215 00:52:39,626 --> 00:52:41,459 MERRY CHRISTMAS, MISS STANLEY, 1216 00:52:41,542 --> 00:52:43,083 AND THANK YOU. 1217 00:53:02,709 --> 00:53:04,792 MIGHTY NIFTY-LOOKING PACKAGE. 1218 00:53:04,876 --> 00:53:06,417 HAD QUITE A STRUGGLE WITH MYSELF 1219 00:53:06,500 --> 00:53:08,250 BEFORE I DECIDED NOT TO OPEN IT. 1220 00:53:08,334 --> 00:53:09,918 HERE YOU ARE, MAGGIE. 1221 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,626 I'M SO EXCITED. 1222 00:53:11,709 --> 00:53:14,375 JUST SIGN FOR IT, WILL YOU PLEASE? 1223 00:53:14,459 --> 00:53:17,500 KNOW WHAT I'M GIVING MY WIFE? A PIPE. 1224 00:53:17,584 --> 00:53:18,792 A PIPE? 1225 00:53:18,876 --> 00:53:20,417 THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY SENSIBLE. 1226 00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:22,918 IT'S AS SENSIBLE AS THE VACUUM CLEANER 1227 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,250 SHE'S GIVING ME. 1228 00:53:24,334 --> 00:53:26,709 HA HA HA! 1229 00:53:26,792 --> 00:53:29,709 OH, LOOK HOW BEAUTIFULLY IT'S WRAPPED. 1230 00:53:42,626 --> 00:53:45,125 WHY, BERT, HOW WONDERFUL. 1231 00:53:46,542 --> 00:53:47,792 HERE'S A TYPEWRITER. 1232 00:53:47,876 --> 00:53:49,083 THAT'S WHAT BROUGHT US TOGETHER. 1233 00:53:49,167 --> 00:53:51,000 REMEMBER THE DAY YOU FIXED THE RIBBON? 1234 00:53:51,083 --> 00:53:51,959 UH-HUH. 1235 00:53:52,042 --> 00:53:53,375 AND A PAIR OF ICE SKATES 1236 00:53:53,459 --> 00:53:55,584 TO REMIND YOU NEVER TO GO SKATING AGAIN. 1237 00:53:55,667 --> 00:53:56,918 HA HA HA! 1238 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,584 THIS LITTLE HEART WITH THE ARROW THROUGH IT-- 1239 00:53:59,667 --> 00:54:01,292 THEY JUST HAD THAT IN THE CATALOG. 1240 00:54:01,375 --> 00:54:04,292 BERT, THIS IS THE NICEST CHRISTMAS I'VE EVER HAD. 1241 00:54:04,375 --> 00:54:07,792 WELL, I JUST NEVER HAPPENED TO BE AROUND BEFORE. 1242 00:54:07,876 --> 00:54:09,918 I'M CERTAINLY GLAD THAT SHERRY FELL 1243 00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,542 AND FRACTURED HIS HIP. 1244 00:54:11,626 --> 00:54:13,417 HA HA HA! 1245 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:16,167 OH, THERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING ENGRAVED ON THEM. 1246 00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:18,042 HERE. IT STARTS HERE. 1247 00:54:18,125 --> 00:54:20,375 "FAINT... 1248 00:54:20,459 --> 00:54:22,000 "HEARTS... 1249 00:54:22,083 --> 00:54:23,584 "NE'ER... 1250 00:54:23,667 --> 00:54:24,876 "WON... 1251 00:54:24,959 --> 00:54:26,792 FAIR LADY." 1252 00:54:28,042 --> 00:54:29,959 "NOR... 1253 00:54:30,042 --> 00:54:31,959 "IRON... 1254 00:54:32,042 --> 00:54:34,626 "BARS... 1255 00:54:34,709 --> 00:54:36,334 A CAGE." 1256 00:54:36,417 --> 00:54:38,209 WELL, BERT, IT'S A VERY NICE SENTIMENT, 1257 00:54:38,292 --> 00:54:40,500 BUT ISN'T IT A BIT GRIM TOWARDS THE END? 1258 00:54:40,584 --> 00:54:42,667 WELL, IT SHOULD HAVE ENDED AFTER "FAIR LADY." 1259 00:54:42,751 --> 00:54:43,792 THANK YOU, SIR. 1260 00:54:43,876 --> 00:54:45,959 I GUESS HE JUST HAD SOME EXTRA CHARMS 1261 00:54:46,042 --> 00:54:46,959 LAYING AROUND. 1262 00:54:47,042 --> 00:54:48,751 OH, HEAVENS. I'VE GOT TO GET BACK. 1263 00:54:48,834 --> 00:54:51,375 SHERRY BROADCASTS 00. COME ON. 1264 00:54:51,459 --> 00:54:52,667 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 1265 00:54:52,751 --> 00:54:55,042 MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU. MERRY CHRISTMAS, BERT! 1266 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:57,209 IF YOU EVER GET MARRIED, HOW MANY CHILDREN 1267 00:54:57,292 --> 00:54:58,209 ARE YOU GONNA HAVE? 1268 00:54:58,292 --> 00:55:00,709 6 OR 7. GOOD-BYE. 1269 00:55:00,792 --> 00:55:02,792 HEY, I'LL MAKE IT 4. 1270 00:55:02,876 --> 00:55:04,083 THAT I MIGHT CONSIDER. 1271 00:55:11,792 --> 00:55:14,042 COSETTE, TAKE EVERYTHING ON TO THE HOTEL, WILL YOU? 1272 00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:16,334 I'M GOING RIGHT OUT AND SEE POOR MR. WHITESIDE. 1273 00:55:16,417 --> 00:55:18,792 GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WEAR. I FEEL SO NAKED. 1274 00:55:18,876 --> 00:55:20,459 OUI, MADAME. 1275 00:55:25,959 --> 00:55:27,500 THERE. 1276 00:55:33,626 --> 00:55:35,709 TAXI? TAXI, LADY? 1277 00:55:35,792 --> 00:55:38,459 TAXI, LADY? TAXI? 1278 00:55:38,542 --> 00:55:40,667 THIS WAY, MISS. 1279 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,500 OH... 1280 00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:50,083 THIS IS THE STANLEY RESIDENCE, ISN'T IT? 1281 00:55:50,167 --> 00:55:51,083 YES, IT IS. 1282 00:55:51,167 --> 00:55:52,584 I'VE COME TO SEE MR. WHITESIDE. 1283 00:55:52,667 --> 00:55:54,083 TELL HIM MISS SHELDON IS HERE? 1284 00:55:54,167 --> 00:55:57,417 Whiteside: LORRAINE, MY BLOSSOM GIRL! 1285 00:55:57,500 --> 00:56:00,125 DARLING! OH, DARLING, 1286 00:56:00,209 --> 00:56:02,584 LOOK AT THAT POOR, SWEET, TORTURED FACE. 1287 00:56:02,667 --> 00:56:03,918 LET ME KISS IT. 1288 00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,751 OH, DARLING, HOW DRAWN YOU ARE. 1289 00:56:05,834 --> 00:56:07,709 SHERRY, MY SWEET, I'M GOING TO CRY. 1290 00:56:07,792 --> 00:56:10,584 ALRIGHT. YOU'VE MADE A VERY NICE ENTRANCE. RELAX. 1291 00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:11,918 DARLING, I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED, 1292 00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,584 AND SEEING YOU IN THAT CHAIR-- 1293 00:56:13,667 --> 00:56:16,250 THIS CHAIR FITS MY CONTOURS AS NOTHING ELSE EVER HAS. 1294 00:56:16,334 --> 00:56:18,250 I'M FEELING BETTER THAN I HAVE IN YEARS, 1295 00:56:18,334 --> 00:56:20,542 ONLY CONCERN IS NEWS OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD. 1296 00:56:20,626 --> 00:56:22,500 TAKE OFF THAT SKUNK, AND TELL ME. 1297 00:56:22,584 --> 00:56:23,918 HOW ARE YOU, MY DARLING? 1298 00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,042 DARLING, I'M SO RELIEVED. YOU LOOK WONDERFUL. 1299 00:56:26,125 --> 00:56:27,792 MY DEAR, DO I LOOK A WRECK! 1300 00:56:27,876 --> 00:56:30,125 I JUMPED ON THE TRAIN THE MINUTE YOU CALLED. 1301 00:56:30,209 --> 00:56:32,292 PALM BEACH HAS BEEN SO HECTIC THIS SEASON. 1302 00:56:32,375 --> 00:56:33,375 FUN, BUT SIMPLY EXHAUSTING-- 1303 00:56:33,459 --> 00:56:34,542 CHUCK WHITNEY, CARY GRANT, 1304 00:56:34,626 --> 00:56:36,125 BARBARA HUTTON-- JUST TOO EXHAUSTING! 1305 00:56:36,209 --> 00:56:38,959 I NEVER GOT TO BED. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START. 1306 00:56:39,042 --> 00:56:42,125 START WITH THE DIRT FIRST, THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. 1307 00:56:42,209 --> 00:56:43,500 HMM...LET ME SEE. 1308 00:56:43,584 --> 00:56:44,751 OH, YES! 1309 00:56:44,834 --> 00:56:46,834 SIBYL CARTWRIGHT WAS ORDERED RIGHT OFF THE BEACH. 1310 00:56:46,918 --> 00:56:48,626 IT HAPPENED THE DAY BEFORE I LEFT. 1311 00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:50,542 SHE HAD ON A CELLOPHANE BATHING SUITS, 1312 00:56:50,626 --> 00:56:52,751 AND YOU COULD PRACTICALLY SEE THE WAVES BREAKING. 1313 00:56:52,834 --> 00:56:54,167 OH! POOR OLD SIBYL. 1314 00:56:54,250 --> 00:56:56,000 AND LOUISE CURTIS-- YOU KNOW HER, SHERRY. 1315 00:56:56,083 --> 00:56:57,792 WELL, SHE JUST DIVORCED HER FOURTH HUSBAND 1316 00:56:57,876 --> 00:56:59,959 AND REMARRIED HER SECOND. IT WAS AWFULLY MESSY, 1317 00:57:00,042 --> 00:57:01,834 BECAUSE BEFORE HE COULD REMARRY HER, 1318 00:57:01,918 --> 00:57:03,709 HE HAD TO DIVORCE HIS THIRD WIFE, 1319 00:57:03,792 --> 00:57:04,709 WHO IS LOUISE'S MOTHER. 1320 00:57:04,792 --> 00:57:06,292 BUT IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING. 1321 00:57:06,375 --> 00:57:07,834 OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET IT, 1322 00:57:07,918 --> 00:57:09,834 ELSA MAXWELL GAVE ME A MESSAGE FOR YOU. 1323 00:57:09,918 --> 00:57:11,876 SHE WANTS YOU TO TAKE OFF 25 POUNDS 1324 00:57:11,959 --> 00:57:14,042 AND SEND THEM TO HER. SHE NEEDS THEM. 1325 00:57:14,125 --> 00:57:15,167 OH, HA HA HA! 1326 00:57:15,250 --> 00:57:16,667 THEY SHALL BE PACKED IN ICE. 1327 00:57:16,751 --> 00:57:18,250 NOW, COME ON. WHAT ABOUT YOU? 1328 00:57:18,334 --> 00:57:20,042 WHAT ABOUT YOU AND THAT SPLENDID BIT 1329 00:57:20,125 --> 00:57:21,834 OF ENGLISH MUTTON, LORD BOTTOMLY? 1330 00:57:21,918 --> 00:57:23,167 HAVEN'T YOU HOOKED HIM YET? 1331 00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:24,500 SHERRY, PLEASE. 1332 00:57:24,584 --> 00:57:26,667 HE'S JUST A VERY DEAR FRIEND OF MINE. 1333 00:57:26,751 --> 00:57:28,792 NOW, BLOSSOM GIRL, THIS IS SHERRY. 1334 00:57:28,876 --> 00:57:30,334 DON'T TRY TO PULL THE BEDCLOTHES 1335 00:57:30,417 --> 00:57:31,834 OVER MY EYES. DON'T TELL ME 1336 00:57:31,918 --> 00:57:33,667 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE LADY BOTTOMLY 1337 00:57:33,751 --> 00:57:36,083 WITH £100,000 A YEAR AND 12 CASTLES. 1338 00:57:36,167 --> 00:57:38,667 BY THE WAY, HAS HE HAD HIS TEETH FIXED YET? 1339 00:57:38,751 --> 00:57:40,250 EVERY TIME I ORDER ROQUEFORT CHEESE, 1340 00:57:40,334 --> 00:57:42,125 I THINK OF THOSE TEETH. 1341 00:57:43,209 --> 00:57:45,334 SHERRY, REALLY! 1342 00:57:45,417 --> 00:57:46,918 CEDRIC MAY NOT BE BRILLIANT, 1343 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:48,542 BUT HE'S RATHER SWEET, POOR LAMB, 1344 00:57:48,626 --> 00:57:49,918 AND VERY FOND OF ME. 1345 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,876 AFTER ALL, IF I CAN MARRY HIM, 1346 00:57:51,959 --> 00:57:53,375 I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULDN'T. 1347 00:57:53,459 --> 00:57:55,209 SHALL I TELL YOU SOMETHING, SHERRY, DARLING? 1348 00:57:55,292 --> 00:57:57,250 I THINK, FROM SOMETHING HE SAID TO ME, 1349 00:57:57,334 --> 00:57:59,042 THAT HE'S FINALLY COMING AROUND TO IT. 1350 00:57:59,125 --> 00:58:01,417 NOTHING DEFINITE, BUT DON'T BE SURPRISED 1351 00:58:01,500 --> 00:58:03,292 IF I AM LADY BOTTOMLY BEFORE LONG. 1352 00:58:03,375 --> 00:58:04,584 LADY BOTTOMLY. 1353 00:58:04,667 --> 00:58:06,042 WON'T KANSAS CITY BE SURPRISED? 1354 00:58:06,125 --> 00:58:07,792 HOWEVER, I SHALL BE A FLOWER GIRL, 1355 00:58:07,876 --> 00:58:09,918 AND SHALL GIVE THE GROOM AN IRON TOOTHPICK 1356 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:10,959 AS A WEDDING PRESENT. 1357 00:58:11,042 --> 00:58:12,209 NOW, COME ON, MY BLOSSOM, 1358 00:58:12,292 --> 00:58:14,209 I WANT SOME MORE OF YOUR SKULDUGGERY. 1359 00:58:14,292 --> 00:58:15,500 WELL, AT-- 1360 00:58:15,584 --> 00:58:16,584 OH, UH, MR. WHITESIDE-- 1361 00:58:16,667 --> 00:58:17,918 OH, NO. I'M BUSY NOW. 1362 00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,083 YES, BUT I-- 1363 00:58:19,167 --> 00:58:20,042 GO AWAY! 1364 00:58:20,125 --> 00:58:21,667 YES, SIR. YES, SIR. 1365 00:58:25,834 --> 00:58:26,876 WHAT WAS THAT? 1366 00:58:26,959 --> 00:58:27,918 HE'S FIXING THE PLUMBING. 1367 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,667 NOW, COME ON. I WANT SOME NEWS. 1368 00:58:29,751 --> 00:58:31,876 BUT, SHERRY, DARLING, WHAT ABOUT THIS PLAY? 1369 00:58:31,959 --> 00:58:34,417 AFTER ALL, I'VE COME ALL THE WAY FROM PALM BEACH, 1370 00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:36,459 EVEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE. I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED 1371 00:58:36,542 --> 00:58:38,375 EVER SINCE YOU TELEPHONED ME ABOUT IT. 1372 00:58:38,459 --> 00:58:39,709 WHEN CAN I READ IT? 1373 00:58:39,792 --> 00:58:41,876 HERE'S THE SITUATION. THIS YOUNG AUTHOR-- 1374 00:58:41,959 --> 00:58:43,459 HIS NAME IS BERT JEFFERSON-- 1375 00:58:43,542 --> 00:58:46,667 BROUGHT ME THE PLAY SO I SEND IT TO KATHARINE CORNELL. 1376 00:58:46,751 --> 00:58:47,918 IT'S A MAGNIFICENT PART, 1377 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,417 AND I FEEL DISLOYAL TO KITT. 1378 00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:50,876 SHERRY. I'VE DONE THIS MUCH. 1379 00:58:50,959 --> 00:58:53,834 THE REST IS UP TO YOU. HE'S YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE. 1380 00:58:53,918 --> 00:58:55,584 JUST HOW YOU'LL GO ABOUT PERSUADING HIM 1381 00:58:55,667 --> 00:58:58,125 I'M SURE YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THAN I DO, 1382 00:58:58,209 --> 00:58:59,292 OH, DARLING, 1383 00:58:59,375 --> 00:59:00,918 HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU? 1384 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,459 DOES HE KNOW I'M COMING? 1385 00:59:02,542 --> 00:59:03,584 THIS YOUNG MAN, I MEAN. 1386 00:59:03,667 --> 00:59:04,709 NO, NO, NO! 1387 00:59:04,792 --> 00:59:05,918 YOU'RE OUT HERE VISITING ME. 1388 00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:07,459 YOU'LL MEET HIM, AND THAT'S THAT. 1389 00:59:07,542 --> 00:59:10,125 GO OUT TO DINNER AND WORK AROUND TO THE PLAY. 1390 00:59:10,209 --> 00:59:13,292 I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THESE THINGS. 1391 00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:14,876 SHERRY! 1392 00:59:14,959 --> 00:59:17,584 I'LL RUN BACK AND GET INTO SOMETHING MORE ATTRACTIVE. 1393 00:59:17,667 --> 00:59:19,959 I DUMPED MY BAGS AND RUSHED RIGHT OVER HERE. 1394 00:59:20,042 --> 00:59:21,250 DARLING, YOU'RE WONDERFUL. 1395 00:59:21,334 --> 00:59:22,500 ALRIGHT. NOW RUN ALONG 1396 00:59:22,584 --> 00:59:24,000 AND GET INTO YOUR WORKING CLOTHES. 1397 00:59:24,083 --> 00:59:26,626 THEN YOU COME BACK AND SPEND CHRISTMAS EVE WITH SHERRY 1398 00:59:26,709 --> 00:59:28,125 I'LL HAVE MR. JEFFERSON ON TAP. 1399 00:59:28,209 --> 00:59:30,626 AND DON'T MENTION A WORD OF THE PLAY 1400 00:59:30,709 --> 00:59:31,834 IN FRONT OF MAGGIE. 1401 00:59:31,918 --> 00:59:33,709 SHE'S A FRIEND OF KITT CORNELL'S. 1402 00:59:33,792 --> 00:59:35,500 I'LL JUST BE POLITE WITH MAGGIE. 1403 00:59:35,584 --> 00:59:37,500 OH, I'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. 1404 00:59:37,584 --> 00:59:40,125 WHO DO YOU SUPPOSE IS PAYING ME A VISIT TONIGHT? 1405 00:59:40,209 --> 00:59:41,667 NONE OTHER THAN YOUR OLD FRIEND 1406 00:59:41,751 --> 00:59:43,042 AND FELLOW ACTOR BEVERLY CARLTON. 1407 00:59:43,125 --> 00:59:44,459 BEVERLY? REALLY? 1408 00:59:44,542 --> 00:59:46,375 I THOUGHT HE WAS BEING GLAMOROUS AGAIN 1409 00:59:46,459 --> 00:59:47,626 ON A TRAMP STEAMER. 1410 00:59:47,709 --> 00:59:49,500 OH, COME, COME, BLOSSOM. MUSTN'T BE BITTER 1411 00:59:49,584 --> 00:59:51,834 JUST BECAUSE HE GOT BETTER NOTICES THAN YOU DID. 1412 00:59:51,918 --> 00:59:54,417 DON'T BE SILLY, SHERRY. I NEVER READ NOTICES. 1413 00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:57,167 I SIMPLY WOULDN'T CARE TO ACT WITH HIM AGAIN. 1414 00:59:57,250 --> 00:59:59,500 HE'S NOT STAYING HERE, IS HE? I HOPE NOT. 1415 00:59:59,584 --> 01:00:01,167 TEMPER, TEMPER, TEMPER. NO, HE'S NOT. 1416 01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:03,334 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT DIAMOND BRACELET, DEAR? 1417 01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:04,834 THAT'S A NEW BIT OF LOOT? 1418 01:00:04,918 --> 01:00:06,584 HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THIS BEFORE? 1419 01:00:06,667 --> 01:00:08,876 CEDRIC GAVE IT TO ME FOR HIS MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY. 1420 01:00:08,959 --> 01:00:10,709 SHE WAS SIMPLY FURIOUS! OH, BUT, DARLING, 1421 01:00:10,792 --> 01:00:12,334 I HAVE A TAXI WAITING OUTSIDE. 1422 01:00:12,417 --> 01:00:13,626 IF I'M TO GET BACK-- 1423 01:00:13,709 --> 01:00:14,667 Maggie: SHERRY! 1424 01:00:14,751 --> 01:00:17,292 SHERRY, WHAT DO YOU THINK-- 1425 01:00:17,375 --> 01:00:18,542 OH, HELLO, MAGGIE. 1426 01:00:18,626 --> 01:00:20,375 I KNEW YOU MUST BE AROUND SOMEWHERE. 1427 01:00:20,459 --> 01:00:23,417 HOW ARE YOU, MY DEAR? 1428 01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:24,959 SANTA CLAUS HAS BEEN AT WORK. 1429 01:00:25,042 --> 01:00:26,209 LORRAINE-BLOSSOM JUST DROPPED IN 1430 01:00:26,292 --> 01:00:28,250 OUT OF THE BLUE AND SURPRISED US. 1431 01:00:29,417 --> 01:00:30,459 HELLO, LORRAINE. 1432 01:00:30,542 --> 01:00:31,542 HELLO. 1433 01:00:31,626 --> 01:00:33,584 BERT, IS THAT YOU? COME RIGHT IN, BERT. 1434 01:00:33,667 --> 01:00:35,042 BERT JEFFERSON, MISS LORRAINE SHELDON. 1435 01:00:35,125 --> 01:00:36,709 HOW DO YOU DO, MISS SHELDON? 1436 01:00:36,792 --> 01:00:38,083 HOW DO YOU DO? 1437 01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:41,250 I DIDN'T QUITE CATCH JEFFERSON? 1438 01:00:41,334 --> 01:00:43,500 THAT'S RIGHT, PET. 1439 01:00:44,918 --> 01:00:47,000 WHY, MR. JEFFERSON, 1440 01:00:47,083 --> 01:00:48,542 YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A NEWSPAPERMAN. 1441 01:00:48,626 --> 01:00:50,626 YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A NEWSPAPERMAN AT ALL. 1442 01:00:50,709 --> 01:00:52,209 REALLY? I THOUGHT IT WAS WRITTEN 1443 01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:53,834 ALL OVER ME IN NEON LIGHTS. 1444 01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:55,042 OH, NOT AT ALL. 1445 01:00:55,125 --> 01:00:56,375 I SHOULD HAVE SAID 1446 01:00:56,459 --> 01:00:58,334 YOU WERE A, OH, I DON'T KNOW-- 1447 01:00:58,417 --> 01:00:59,834 AN AVIATOR, AN EXPLORER, OR SOMETHING. 1448 01:00:59,918 --> 01:01:02,125 THEY HAVE THE SAME KIND OF DASH ABOUT THEM. 1449 01:01:02,209 --> 01:01:04,209 I'M SIMPLY ENCHANTED WITH YOUR LITTLE TOWN, 1450 01:01:04,292 --> 01:01:05,542 MR. JEFFERSON. 1451 01:01:05,626 --> 01:01:07,626 IT GIVES ONE SUCH A WARM, GRACIOUS FEELING. 1452 01:01:07,709 --> 01:01:09,542 HAVE YOU LIVED HERE ALL YOUR LIFE? 1453 01:01:09,626 --> 01:01:10,792 Bert: PRACTICALLY. 1454 01:01:10,876 --> 01:01:12,918 IF YOU WISH TO HEAR HIS LIFE STORY, 1455 01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:14,709 KINDLY DO SO ON YOUR OWN TIME. 1456 01:01:14,792 --> 01:01:16,500 MAGGIE AND I HAVE WORK TO DO. 1457 01:01:16,584 --> 01:01:17,876 GET OUT OF HERE, JEFFERSON. 1458 01:01:17,959 --> 01:01:19,000 ON YOUR WAY, BLOSSOM. 1459 01:01:19,083 --> 01:01:20,751 HE'S THE WORLD'S RUDEST MAN, ISN'T HE? 1460 01:01:20,834 --> 01:01:23,417 OH, COULD I DROP YOU, MR. JEFFERSON? 1461 01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:25,334 I'M GOING DOWN TO THE MANSION HOUSE, 1462 01:01:25,417 --> 01:01:26,417 I THINK IT'S CALLED. 1463 01:01:26,500 --> 01:01:28,250 THANK YOU, BUT I'VE GOT MY CAR. 1464 01:01:28,334 --> 01:01:29,250 SUPPOSE I DROP YOU? 1465 01:01:29,334 --> 01:01:30,417 THAT WOULD BE LOVELY. 1466 01:01:30,500 --> 01:01:32,000 WE'LL SEND THE TAXI RIGHT OFF. 1467 01:01:32,083 --> 01:01:33,667 I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SHERRY, DEAR. 1468 01:01:33,751 --> 01:01:34,918 Lorraine: BYE, MAGGIE. 1469 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,250 Bert: GOOD-BYE, MAGGIE. 1470 01:01:36,334 --> 01:01:37,751 I'M INVITED BACK FOR DINNER? 1471 01:01:37,834 --> 01:01:39,209 OH, YES. YOU ARE. 1472 01:01:39,292 --> 01:01:41,417 AT CHRISTMAS I ALWAYS FEED THE NEEDY. 1473 01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:43,834 NOW, STOP OOZING OUT AND GET OUT. 1474 01:01:43,918 --> 01:01:45,209 COME ON, MR. JEFFERSON. 1475 01:01:45,292 --> 01:01:47,834 I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT THIS CHARMING TOWN OF YOURS, 1476 01:01:47,918 --> 01:01:49,542 AND A GREAT DEAL MORE ABOUT YOU. 1477 01:01:49,626 --> 01:01:52,250 IS THERE A COMPANY THAT BROADCASTS AROUND HERE ANYWHERE? 1478 01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:54,918 HOW MUCH TIME DID YOU SAY THEY WANT, 4 MINUTES? 1479 01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:56,334 THAT'S RIGHT. 4 MINUTES. 1480 01:01:56,417 --> 01:01:57,584 MM-HMM. 1481 01:01:57,667 --> 01:02:00,125 SHE'S LOOKING VERY WELL, ISN'T SHE? 1482 01:02:00,209 --> 01:02:01,542 YEAH? WHO? 1483 01:02:01,626 --> 01:02:03,292 COUNTESS DE CYANIDE. 1484 01:02:03,375 --> 01:02:05,292 QUITE A SURPRISE, WASN'T IT-- 1485 01:02:05,375 --> 01:02:07,083 HER DROPPING IN LIKE THIS? 1486 01:02:07,167 --> 01:02:09,417 YES. YES, IT WAS. YES, IT WAS! YEAH. UH-- 1487 01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:11,292 "AT THIS JOYOUS SEASON OF THE YEAR, 1488 01:02:11,375 --> 01:02:12,667 WITHIN THE HEARTS OF MEN--" 1489 01:02:12,751 --> 01:02:14,000 NO. I CAN'T CUT THAT. 1490 01:02:14,083 --> 01:02:15,709 ISN'T IT CURIOUS? THERE WAS LORRAINE, 1491 01:02:15,792 --> 01:02:17,042 SNUG AS A BUG 1492 01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:19,250 IN SOMEBODY'S PATIO IN PALM BEACH. 1493 01:02:19,334 --> 01:02:22,459 UH, "ERE THE YULETIDE SEASON PASS..." 1494 01:02:22,542 --> 01:02:26,083 NOW, SHERRY, I THINK WE WILL TALK A BIT. 1495 01:02:26,167 --> 01:02:29,709 JUST BECAUSE A FRIEND HAPPENS TO COME AND SPEND CHRISTMAS-- 1496 01:02:29,792 --> 01:02:31,000 I DON'T THINK SHE HAPPENED 1497 01:02:31,083 --> 01:02:32,375 TO COME OUT HERE, SHERRY. 1498 01:02:32,459 --> 01:02:33,334 I DON'T THINK THAT. 1499 01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:34,500 SURELY YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING 1500 01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:36,834 I HAD ANYTHING TO DO ABOUT IT? 1501 01:02:36,918 --> 01:02:38,584 YES, SHERRY, I AM. 1502 01:02:38,667 --> 01:02:41,459 MAGGIE! YOU KNOW THAT ONE OF MY CARDINAL PRINCIPLES 1503 01:02:41,542 --> 01:02:44,167 IS NEVER TO INTERFERE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES, 1504 01:02:44,250 --> 01:02:46,125 ABSOLUTELY NEVER! 1505 01:02:50,751 --> 01:02:51,959 June: GOOD-BYE, MR. WHITESIDE. 1506 01:02:52,042 --> 01:02:53,500 WE CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH. 1507 01:02:53,584 --> 01:02:55,125 Richard: YOU'VE CHANGED OUR WHOLE LIVES. 1508 01:02:55,209 --> 01:02:56,500 YES, YES. WELL, GOOD-BYE. 1509 01:02:56,584 --> 01:02:58,042 HAVE A NICE TRIP. GOOD-BYE. 1510 01:02:58,125 --> 01:02:59,667 Both: GOOD-BYE, MISS CUTLER. 1511 01:02:59,751 --> 01:03:01,250 GOOD-BYE. 1512 01:03:03,918 --> 01:03:05,542 I SEE. 1513 01:03:05,626 --> 01:03:07,626 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT. 1514 01:03:07,709 --> 01:03:09,792 AS FOR LORRAINE, NO ONE WAS MORE SURPRISED 1515 01:03:09,876 --> 01:03:12,209 THAN I WHEN SHE WALKED IN. 1516 01:03:12,292 --> 01:03:13,751 SHERRY, I'M WARNING YOU. 1517 01:03:13,834 --> 01:03:15,584 THIS MEANS A GREAT DEAL TO ME. 1518 01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:17,459 I WON'T STAND FOR ANY NONSENSE. 1519 01:03:18,834 --> 01:03:20,334 I HAVE A HUNCH THAT'S BEVERLY. 1520 01:03:20,417 --> 01:03:21,876 RUN AND SEE IF IT IS. 1521 01:03:21,959 --> 01:03:23,709 GO AHEAD, MAGGIE, RUN, RUN! 1522 01:03:28,042 --> 01:03:29,000 Man: MR. WHITESIDE? 1523 01:03:29,083 --> 01:03:30,125 YES, SIR. COME IN. 1524 01:03:30,209 --> 01:03:31,876 THANK YOU. 1525 01:03:34,125 --> 01:03:35,500 Maggie: BEVERLY! 1526 01:03:35,584 --> 01:03:37,542 MAGPIE! 1527 01:03:37,626 --> 01:03:39,000 BEVERLY CARLTON! 1528 01:03:39,083 --> 01:03:40,751 COME IN HERE, YOU PICCADILLY PEN-PUSHER, 1529 01:03:40,834 --> 01:03:42,959 AND GAZE UPON A SOUL IN AGONY. 1530 01:03:43,042 --> 01:03:44,959 DON'T TELL ME HOW YOU ARE, SHERRY. 1531 01:03:45,042 --> 01:03:46,792 I WANT NONE OF THE TIRESOME DETAILS. 1532 01:03:46,876 --> 01:03:48,834 I'VE VERY LITTLE TIME, AND SO THE CONVERSATION 1533 01:03:48,918 --> 01:03:51,125 WILL BE ENTIRELY ABOUT ME, AND I'LL LOVE IT. 1534 01:03:51,209 --> 01:03:53,792 I'LL TELL YOU HOW I GLITTERED THROUGH THE SOUTH SEAS 1535 01:03:53,876 --> 01:03:55,125 LIKE A SILVERY SCIMITAR, 1536 01:03:55,209 --> 01:03:57,375 OR RATHER HEAR HOW I FINISHED A 3-ACT PLAY 1537 01:03:57,459 --> 01:04:00,709 WITH ONE HAND AND MADE LOVE TO A MAHARAJAH'S DAUGHTER 1538 01:04:00,792 --> 01:04:01,918 WITH THE OTHER? 1539 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:04,083 IT WAS A VERY PRETTY SIGHT. 1540 01:04:04,167 --> 01:04:07,042 MAGPIE, YOU ARE THE MOONFLOWER OF MY MIDDLE AGE. 1541 01:04:07,125 --> 01:04:09,209 I LOVE YOU. SAY SOMETHING TENDER TO ME. 1542 01:04:09,292 --> 01:04:10,250 BEVERLY, DARLING. 1543 01:04:10,334 --> 01:04:11,500 THAT'S MY GIRL. 1544 01:04:11,584 --> 01:04:13,250 SHERRY, WITHOUT GOING INTO MOUNTAINOUS WAVES 1545 01:04:13,334 --> 01:04:15,334 OF SELF-PITY, HOW ARE YOU? 1546 01:04:15,417 --> 01:04:16,417 I'M FINE, 1547 01:04:16,500 --> 01:04:17,792 YOU PRESUMPTUOUS COTTONHEAD. 1548 01:04:17,876 --> 01:04:19,292 HOW WAS THIS TRIP, WONDERFUL? 1549 01:04:19,375 --> 01:04:20,667 THE TRIP WAS FABULOUS. 1550 01:04:20,751 --> 01:04:22,417 I WROTE 2 PLAYS, A REVIEW, 1551 01:04:22,500 --> 01:04:23,918 AND AN OPERETTA-- 1552 01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,584 ALL OF THEM SO BRILLIANT THAT THEY FRIGHTEN ME. 1553 01:04:26,667 --> 01:04:29,417 HOW CAN ONE MAN POSSIBLY BE AS CLEVER AS I AM? 1554 01:04:29,500 --> 01:04:30,792 IT'S ONE OF THE MYSTERIES 1555 01:04:30,876 --> 01:04:31,918 OF THE UNIVERSE. 1556 01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,167 BEVERLY, A VERY DEAR FRIEND OF YOURS 1557 01:04:34,250 --> 01:04:35,209 IS VISITING US-- 1558 01:04:35,292 --> 01:04:37,167 THE LANGUOROUS LORRAINE. 1559 01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:38,918 OH, MISS SHELDON. YES. DEAR GIRL. 1560 01:04:39,042 --> 01:04:41,334 THEY DO SAY SHE SET FIRE TO HER MOTHER, 1561 01:04:41,417 --> 01:04:43,209 BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 1562 01:04:43,292 --> 01:04:45,000 DID YOU SEE MY WONDERFUL BANJO 1563 01:04:45,083 --> 01:04:46,334 WHEN YOU WERE IN HOLLYWOOD? 1564 01:04:46,417 --> 01:04:48,626 I DID, AND HE GAVE A DINNER FOR ME. 1565 01:04:48,709 --> 01:04:50,584 I ARRIVED IN WHITE TIE AND TAILS 1566 01:04:50,667 --> 01:04:53,125 TO BE MET AT THE ENTRANCE BY 2 BEWIGGED BUTLERS, 1567 01:04:53,209 --> 01:04:56,334 WHO VERY QUIETLY PROCEEDED TO TAKE OFF MY TROUSERS. 1568 01:04:56,417 --> 01:04:59,209 I WAS THEN USHERED IN MY LEMON SILK SHORTS 1569 01:04:59,292 --> 01:05:00,751 INTO THE ROOM, WHERE THERE WAS 1570 01:05:00,834 --> 01:05:02,709 NORMA SHEARER, CLAUDETTE COLBERT, 1571 01:05:02,792 --> 01:05:05,209 AND MANY, MANY OTHERS. HA HA HA! 1572 01:05:05,292 --> 01:05:06,918 DEAR, INCOMPARABLE BANJO. 1573 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,042 I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT SUMMER ON THE RIVIERA 1574 01:05:09,125 --> 01:05:10,292 WHEN BANJO PUT A MICROPHONE 1575 01:05:10,375 --> 01:05:11,834 IN LORRAINE'S CABANA AND THEN PLAYED 1576 01:05:11,918 --> 01:05:13,667 THE RECORD THE NEXT DAY AT LUNCH. 1577 01:05:13,751 --> 01:05:15,542 I REMEMBER VERY WELL. 1578 01:05:15,626 --> 01:05:17,626 AND SHE LEFT BY THE VERY NEXT BOAT. 1579 01:05:17,709 --> 01:05:19,667 I WISH BANJO WERE HERE NOW. 1580 01:05:19,751 --> 01:05:21,834 OH, MY POOR, SWEET, LITTLE MAGPIE. 1581 01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:23,042 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 1582 01:05:23,125 --> 01:05:24,751 IS LORRAINE BEING HER DEAR, SWEET, 1583 01:05:24,834 --> 01:05:26,000 SICK-MAKING LITTLE SELF? 1584 01:05:26,083 --> 01:05:27,834 YOU WOULDN'T TAKE HER AWAY WITH YOU, 1585 01:05:27,918 --> 01:05:29,459 WOULD YOU, BEVERLY? JUST FOR ME? 1586 01:05:29,542 --> 01:05:31,125 NOW, LORRAINE IS A CHARMING PERSON 1587 01:05:31,209 --> 01:05:32,500 WHO HAS GALLANTLY GIVEN UP 1588 01:05:32,584 --> 01:05:34,250 HER CHRISTMAS TO SPEND IT WITH ME. 1589 01:05:34,334 --> 01:05:36,667 I KNEW I HAD A LITTLE BIT OF DIRT. 1590 01:05:36,751 --> 01:05:37,876 OH, MR. WHITESIDE? 1591 01:05:37,959 --> 01:05:39,709 WHAT? OH, NO. 1592 01:05:39,792 --> 01:05:41,375 I'M VERY BUSY NOW. GO AWAY! 1593 01:05:41,459 --> 01:05:44,751 OH, THAT'S ALRIGHT. I'LL WAIT. 1594 01:05:44,834 --> 01:05:46,792 YOU KIDNAP SOMEONE, SHERRY? 1595 01:05:46,876 --> 01:05:48,125 NO. THAT WAS SUPERMAN. 1596 01:05:48,209 --> 01:05:50,125 NOW, COME ON. IS THIS SOMETHING JUICY? 1597 01:05:50,209 --> 01:05:51,417 JUICY AS A POMEGRANATE. 1598 01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:53,542 IT'S THE LATEST REPORT FROM PALM BEACH 1599 01:05:53,626 --> 01:05:55,417 ON THE WINTER MANEUVERS OF LORRAINE SHELDON 1600 01:05:55,500 --> 01:05:56,918 AGAINST THE LEFT FLANK, 1601 01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,083 OR RATHER, ALL FLANKS OF LORD CEDRIC BOTTOMLY. 1602 01:06:00,167 --> 01:06:01,792 LISTEN. "LORRAINE ARRIVED HERE IN NOVEMBER 1603 01:06:01,876 --> 01:06:04,375 "IN A CLOUD OF CHANEL NO. 5. 1604 01:06:04,459 --> 01:06:05,584 "SINCE THEN, 1605 01:06:05,667 --> 01:06:07,417 "IN HER RELENTLESS PURSUIT OF OLD CEDRIC, 1606 01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:09,542 "SHE HAS PAUSED ONLY TO CHANGE GIRDLES 1607 01:06:09,626 --> 01:06:10,751 "AND CHECK HER OIL. 1608 01:06:10,834 --> 01:06:12,125 "SHE HAS CHASED HIM, PANTING, 1609 01:06:12,209 --> 01:06:13,626 "FROM BEACH HOUSE TO BEACH HOUSE, 1610 01:06:13,709 --> 01:06:15,751 "UNTIL HE FINALLY TOOK REFUGE FOR SEVERAL WEEKENDS 1611 01:06:15,834 --> 01:06:20,584 "IN THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOMS OF THE TURF AND JOCKEY CLUB. 1612 01:06:20,667 --> 01:06:22,876 "CEDRIC IS HIDING IN CAROLINA AT THE MOMENT, 1613 01:06:22,959 --> 01:06:25,209 "BUT LORRAINE WOULD FLY TO HIM IN A STRATOLINER 1614 01:06:25,292 --> 01:06:28,292 IF HE SO MUCH AS SNEEZED IN HER DIRECTION." 1615 01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:30,751 HAVE YOU MET OUR LITTLE CEDRIC, MAGGIE? 1616 01:06:30,834 --> 01:06:32,042 Maggie: NO, I HAVEN'T. 1617 01:06:32,125 --> 01:06:34,876 "NOT VERY GOOD SHOOTIN' TODAY, B-BLAST IT. 1618 01:06:34,959 --> 01:06:36,792 "ONLY S-SIX PHEASANT, 1619 01:06:36,876 --> 01:06:40,417 F-FOUR DUCK, AND MY C-COUSIN ARCHIE." 1620 01:06:40,500 --> 01:06:43,375 THAT'S BOTTOMLY TO HIS VERY FINGERTIPS. 1621 01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:45,417 HA HA HA! BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 1622 01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:46,751 NOBODY COULD BE LIKE THAT. 1623 01:06:46,834 --> 01:06:48,042 IT'S SO GOOD, IT'S UNCANNY. 1624 01:06:48,125 --> 01:06:50,584 WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RACE RIGHT OUT OF HERE? 1625 01:06:50,667 --> 01:06:52,918 I NEVER SEE ENOUGH OF YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL MOPPET. 1626 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:54,584 SHERRY, ALL I CAN TELL YOU 1627 01:06:54,667 --> 01:06:56,918 IS THAT MY ESTEEM FOR YOU IS SO GREAT 1628 01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,417 THAT I CHANGED TRAINS IN CHICAGO 1629 01:06:58,500 --> 01:07:00,209 JUST TO SPEND 10 MINUTES WITH YOU 1630 01:07:00,292 --> 01:07:02,417 AND WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY LAD. 1631 01:07:03,500 --> 01:07:05,417 AND YOU, MY LITTLE MAGPIE. 1632 01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:06,792 BEVERLY, DEAR. 1633 01:07:06,876 --> 01:07:08,167 GOOD EVENING. 1634 01:07:08,250 --> 01:07:10,334 YOU'LL FIND MR. WHITESIDE IN THE LIVING ROOM. 1635 01:07:10,417 --> 01:07:11,584 THANK YOU. COME, BOYS. 1636 01:07:11,667 --> 01:07:12,959 HELLO, MR. WHITESIDE. 1637 01:07:13,042 --> 01:07:14,167 HELLO! COME IN, WESCOTT. 1638 01:07:14,250 --> 01:07:15,500 AH, THE AIRWAVES. 1639 01:07:15,584 --> 01:07:17,918 I SHAN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU, THANK HEAVEN. 1640 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,459 I SHALL BE ON THE TRAIN. 1641 01:07:19,542 --> 01:07:21,584 MR. WESCOTT, WILL YOU GO IN THE LIBRARY? 1642 01:07:21,667 --> 01:07:23,167 JOHN, WILL YOU HELP THE MEN? 1643 01:07:23,250 --> 01:07:24,167 YES, MISS CUTLER. 1644 01:07:24,250 --> 01:07:25,167 RIGHT THIS WAY, GENTLEMEN. 1645 01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:26,500 COME ON, SHERRY. SAY GOOD-BYE. 1646 01:07:26,584 --> 01:07:27,792 OH, STOP THIS NONSENSE, MAGGIE! 1647 01:07:27,876 --> 01:07:29,417 AU REVOIR, MY FABULOUS CREAM PUFF. 1648 01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:31,959 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WANT TO TALK TO BEVERLY. 1649 01:07:32,042 --> 01:07:34,542 YOU CAN KISS BEVERLY IN MACY'S WINDOW ON JULY 4. 1650 01:07:34,626 --> 01:07:36,792 I WILL NOT BE RUSHED OUT OF THIS ROOM 1651 01:07:36,876 --> 01:07:40,667 LIKE A BABY THAT HAS TO HAVE ITS THINGAMABOBS CHANGED. 1652 01:07:40,751 --> 01:07:42,209 WELL! 1653 01:07:42,292 --> 01:07:44,375 BEV, I WANT ONE MINUTE OF YOUR TIME. 1654 01:07:44,459 --> 01:07:45,584 I'VE GOTTA HAVE IT. 1655 01:07:45,667 --> 01:07:46,626 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 1656 01:07:46,709 --> 01:07:47,626 I'M IN GREAT TROUBLE. 1657 01:07:47,709 --> 01:07:48,709 WHAT IS IT, MAGGIE? 1658 01:07:48,792 --> 01:07:49,876 I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE. 1659 01:07:49,959 --> 01:07:52,042 NO! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, 1660 01:07:52,125 --> 01:07:53,167 I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE. 1661 01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,250 I CAN'T TELL YOU NOW. THERE ISN'T TIME. 1662 01:07:55,334 --> 01:07:57,667 BUT SHERRY'S TRYING TO BREAK IT UP. 1663 01:07:57,751 --> 01:07:59,334 THE OLD FLOUNDER. WHAT'S HE DOING? 1664 01:07:59,417 --> 01:08:01,375 HE'S BROUGHT LORRAINE HERE TO SMASH IT UP. 1665 01:08:01,459 --> 01:08:03,000 IT'S SOMEBODY HERE IN THIS TOWN? 1666 01:08:03,083 --> 01:08:04,167 YES. HE'S A NEWSPAPERMAN. 1667 01:08:04,250 --> 01:08:05,959 YOU'LL SEE HIM AT THE STATION. 1668 01:08:06,042 --> 01:08:07,459 YOU SEE, HE'S WRITTEN A PLAY, 1669 01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:09,250 AND SHERRY IS USING THAT AS BAIT. 1670 01:08:09,334 --> 01:08:11,334 LORRAINE WILL EAT HIM ALIVE. YOU'VE GOTTA HELP. 1671 01:08:11,417 --> 01:08:13,167 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 1672 01:08:13,250 --> 01:08:14,209 LORRAINE'S COMING BACK HERE 1673 01:08:14,292 --> 01:08:15,542 I THOUGHT PERHAPS THAT YOU'D 1674 01:08:15,626 --> 01:08:18,584 F-F-F-F ST-ST-ST-ST... 1675 01:08:18,667 --> 01:08:21,584 HA HA HA! 1676 01:08:21,667 --> 01:08:23,918 DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD, MAGGIE. 1677 01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:25,417 AND I SHALL LOVE IT. 1678 01:08:25,500 --> 01:08:26,918 I SHALL ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. 1679 01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,042 WHAT'S MORE, IT CROSSES UP SHERRY AND LORRAINE 1680 01:08:29,125 --> 01:08:30,334 AT THE SAME TIME. 1681 01:08:30,417 --> 01:08:31,876 OOH HOO HOO! IT'S PURE HEAVEN. 1682 01:08:31,959 --> 01:08:33,709 I ADORE IT. I MUST FLY. QUICK! 1683 01:08:33,792 --> 01:08:36,000 OH, BEVERLY, YOU'RE WONDERFUL! 1684 01:08:36,083 --> 01:08:37,167 I KNOW I AM. 1685 01:08:37,250 --> 01:08:39,125 COME TO MY HOUSE FOR YOUR HONEYMOON. 1686 01:08:39,209 --> 01:08:40,751 WE'LL NAME THE FIRST BABY BEVERLY. 1687 01:08:40,834 --> 01:08:42,000 DARLING, I LOVE YOU! 1688 01:08:42,083 --> 01:08:43,834 DON'T SPARE THE HORSES, MY MAN. 1689 01:08:43,918 --> 01:08:45,500 A WOMAN'S HONOR IS AT STAKE. 1690 01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:52,209 THERE YOU ARE, MY PRETTY! THERE. 1691 01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:54,042 HOLLYWOOD CALLING YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. 1692 01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:56,626 OH, THANK YOU, JOHN. 1693 01:08:56,709 --> 01:08:58,918 HELLO? 1694 01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:02,375 BANJO! HELLO, BANJO, OLD BOY. 1695 01:09:02,459 --> 01:09:04,250 HOW ARE YOU, YOU FEEBLE-MINDED ACTOR? 1696 01:09:04,334 --> 01:09:07,417 HELLO, WHITESIDE! HOW'S TRICKS? 1697 01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:09,000 I HEAR YOU BROKE YOUR HIP 1698 01:09:09,083 --> 01:09:12,209 CHASING A BLONDE. HA HA HA! 1699 01:09:12,292 --> 01:09:15,500 NO, NO. MY BUSTLE'S FINE. COULDN'T BE BETTER. 1700 01:09:15,584 --> 01:09:18,167 MAGGIE? WELL, SHE'S LOST HER MIND TEMPORARILY, 1701 01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:19,876 BUT I'M FIXING THAT. 1702 01:09:19,959 --> 01:09:22,792 LISTEN, BANJO. DID YOU REVERSE THE CHARGES? 1703 01:09:22,876 --> 01:09:24,417 YOU DIDN'T? WELL, CALL THE OPERATOR 1704 01:09:24,500 --> 01:09:25,959 AND TELL HER TO DO IT. 1705 01:09:26,042 --> 01:09:29,042 JUST A LITTLE CHRISTMAS PRESENT TO YOU FROM MY HOST. 1706 01:09:29,125 --> 01:09:30,542 WELL, I CAN'T WASTE MY TIME 1707 01:09:30,626 --> 01:09:32,500 TALKING TO A LOT OF HOLLYWOOD RIFFRAFF. 1708 01:09:32,584 --> 01:09:34,584 JUST GET ON A PLANE RIGHT AWAY. 1709 01:09:34,667 --> 01:09:37,542 I'LL THINK IT OVER. I, UH-- 1710 01:09:42,667 --> 01:09:44,792 HELLO, BANJO? IF I KNOW BANJO, 1711 01:09:44,876 --> 01:09:46,959 WE WERE CUT OFF BY A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE. 1712 01:09:49,292 --> 01:09:50,751 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO 1713 01:09:50,834 --> 01:09:52,083 BEFORE THE BROADCAST, MISS CUTLER? 1714 01:09:52,167 --> 01:09:53,334 NO, JOHN, THANK YOU. 1715 01:09:53,417 --> 01:09:54,751 IT ISN'T TELEVISION, THANK HEAVEN. 1716 01:09:54,834 --> 01:09:56,375 THEY ONLY HEAR HIS LIQUID VOICE. 1717 01:09:56,459 --> 01:09:57,709 HE'S REALLY WONDERFUL, ISN'T HE? 1718 01:09:57,792 --> 01:09:59,375 THE THINGS HE FINDS TIME TO DO. 1719 01:09:59,459 --> 01:10:02,209 YES. HE CERTAINLY STICKS HIS NOSE INTO EVERYTHING. 1720 01:10:02,292 --> 01:10:03,792 John: GOOD EVENING, MISS SHELDON. 1721 01:10:03,876 --> 01:10:05,792 Lorraine: GOOD EVENING, JOHN. 1722 01:10:05,876 --> 01:10:08,876 HELLO, DEAR. WHERE'S SHERRY? 1723 01:10:08,959 --> 01:10:10,042 INSIDE, WORKING. 1724 01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:10,959 OH? 1725 01:10:11,042 --> 01:10:12,542 HE'S ON THE AIR VERY SOON. 1726 01:10:12,626 --> 01:10:14,626 OH, OF COURSE. 1727 01:10:14,709 --> 01:10:17,709 THAT'S QUITE A GETUP YOU HAVE ON, LORRAINE. 1728 01:10:17,792 --> 01:10:21,459 THIS? OH, I JUST THREW ON ANYTHING AT ALL. 1729 01:10:21,542 --> 01:10:23,459 AREN'T YOU DRESSING FOR DINNER? 1730 01:10:23,542 --> 01:10:25,500 NO. JUST WHAT MEETS THE EYE. 1731 01:10:29,292 --> 01:10:32,042 WHO DOES YOUR HAIR, MAGGIE? 1732 01:10:32,125 --> 01:10:35,209 A LITTLE FRENCH WOMAN NAMED MAGGIE CUTLER 1733 01:10:35,292 --> 01:10:36,334 COMES IN EVERY MORNING. 1734 01:10:36,417 --> 01:10:38,083 YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME I SEE YOU, 1735 01:10:38,167 --> 01:10:40,459 I KEEP THINKING YOUR HAIR COULD BE SO LOVELY. 1736 01:10:40,542 --> 01:10:42,709 I ALWAYS WANT TO GET MY HANDS ON IT. 1737 01:10:42,792 --> 01:10:44,918 YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GET MINE 1738 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,918 ON YOURS, LORRAINE. 1739 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:48,709 WHAT, DEAR? 1740 01:11:30,209 --> 01:11:32,292 HOW LONG WILL SHERRY BE IN THERE? 1741 01:11:32,375 --> 01:11:34,334 NOT LONG. 1742 01:11:34,417 --> 01:11:37,751 LORRAINE, DID YOU KNOW THAT MR. JEFFERSON 1743 01:11:37,834 --> 01:11:39,375 HAS WRITTEN QUITE A GOOD PLAY? 1744 01:11:39,459 --> 01:11:42,209 THE YOUNG MAN WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOTEL THIS MORNING. 1745 01:11:42,292 --> 01:11:44,459 OH, REALLY? NO, I DIDN'T. ISN'T THAT INTERESTING? 1746 01:11:44,542 --> 01:11:46,375 YES, ISN'T IT? 1747 01:12:00,083 --> 01:12:01,000 HELLO? 1748 01:12:06,292 --> 01:12:07,876 YES. YES. MISS LORRAINE SHELDON? 1749 01:12:07,959 --> 01:12:09,876 SHE'S HERE, YES. JUST A MINUTE. 1750 01:12:09,959 --> 01:12:11,667 A LONG-DISTANCE CALL FOR YOU, LORRAINE. 1751 01:12:11,751 --> 01:12:13,042 LONG DISTANCE FOR ME? HERE? 1752 01:12:13,125 --> 01:12:14,375 WHY, WHAT IN THE WORLD? 1753 01:12:14,459 --> 01:12:15,459 IT'S SOUTH CAROLINA. 1754 01:12:15,542 --> 01:12:17,542 OH! SOUTH CAROLINA. 1755 01:12:17,626 --> 01:12:20,250 HELLO? HELLO? CEDRIC? 1756 01:12:20,334 --> 01:12:23,542 OH, WHY, CEDRIC! WHY, WHAT A SURPRISE. 1757 01:12:23,626 --> 01:12:25,918 WELL, HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE? 1758 01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,751 LORRAINE, MY SWEET, I WAS--I WAS SO UPSET TO RETURN 1759 01:12:28,834 --> 01:12:30,626 A-A-AND FIND YOU GONE. 1760 01:12:30,709 --> 01:12:31,751 I WAS DEVASTATED. 1761 01:12:31,834 --> 01:12:33,334 ABSOLUTELY D-D-D-DEVASTATED. 1762 01:12:33,417 --> 01:12:37,876 I--I SIMPLY HAD TO CALL YOU AND C-C-C--I LOVE YOU. 1763 01:12:37,959 --> 01:12:39,542 WHAT? 1764 01:12:39,626 --> 01:12:41,292 DARLING, DON'T TALK SO FAST, 1765 01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:43,000 AND YOU WON'T STUTTER SO. 1766 01:12:43,083 --> 01:12:44,751 YES. YES, THAT'S BETTER. 1767 01:12:44,834 --> 01:12:46,751 YES. NOW I CAN HEAR YOU VERY CLEARLY. 1768 01:12:46,834 --> 01:12:49,918 IT'S AS THOUGH YOU WERE JUST AROUND THE CORNER. 1769 01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:50,918 I SEE. 1770 01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:53,083 I SAID I SIMPLY HAD TO CALL YOU 1771 01:12:53,167 --> 01:12:57,792 AND T-T-TELL YOU HOW MUCH I L-L-L-L-LO--I ADORE YOU. 1772 01:12:57,876 --> 01:13:01,918 WHAT?! OH, DARLING, I-- 1773 01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:04,334 CEDRIC, WILL YOU WAIT JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE? 1774 01:13:04,417 --> 01:13:05,584 MAGGIE, DO YOU MIND? 1775 01:13:05,667 --> 01:13:07,292 LORD BOTTOMLY-- A VERY PERSONAL CALL. 1776 01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:08,667 DO YOU MIND? 1777 01:13:08,751 --> 01:13:10,292 NOT AT ALL. 1778 01:13:14,042 --> 01:13:16,375 YES, MY DEAREST, NOW TELL ME. 1779 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:25,751 CEDRIC, PLEASE DON'T STUTTER SO! 1780 01:13:25,834 --> 01:13:27,417 DON'T BE NERVOUS! 1781 01:13:27,500 --> 01:13:28,626 LORRAINE, MY SWEET, 1782 01:13:28,709 --> 01:13:31,626 I--I GOT IN TOUCH WITH M-M-M-MATER, 1783 01:13:31,709 --> 01:13:35,000 AND SHE'S GIVEN HER C-CONSENT TO OUR B-BETROTHAL. 1784 01:13:35,083 --> 01:13:36,417 LORRAINE, MY DARLING, 1785 01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:39,334 WILL YOU M-M-MA-MA-MA-- WILL YOU BE MY WIFE? 1786 01:13:39,417 --> 01:13:44,417 OH, DARLING, YES! A THOUSAND TIMES, YES! 1787 01:13:44,500 --> 01:13:46,876 OH, MY DARLING. OH, MY SWEET, 1788 01:13:46,959 --> 01:13:49,626 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I'VE PRAYED FOR THIS EVERY NIGHT. 1789 01:13:49,709 --> 01:13:52,792 I'LL TAKE A PLANE RIGHT OUT OF HERE. WHAT? 1790 01:13:56,042 --> 01:13:58,751 CEDRIC, PLEASE DON'T STUTTER SO! 1791 01:14:00,709 --> 01:14:03,751 YES, AND I LOVE YOU, MY DARLING... 1792 01:14:03,834 --> 01:14:05,667 OH, SO MUCH! 1793 01:14:05,751 --> 01:14:08,334 OH, MY SWEET, YES, I WILL. 1794 01:14:08,417 --> 01:14:10,209 I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU EVERY MOMENT. 1795 01:14:10,292 --> 01:14:11,834 YOU'VE MADE ME THE HAPPIEST GIRL 1796 01:14:11,918 --> 01:14:13,667 IN THE WORLD. 1797 01:14:13,751 --> 01:14:18,000 GOOD-BYE. GOOD-BYE, DARLING. GOOD-BYE. 1798 01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:24,042 SHERRY? SHERRY! 1799 01:14:24,125 --> 01:14:27,042 SHERRY, DARLING, I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO TELL YOU. 1800 01:14:27,125 --> 01:14:29,042 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE! 1801 01:14:29,125 --> 01:14:30,709 THE MOST WONDERFUL THING HAS HAPPENED. 1802 01:14:30,792 --> 01:14:32,709 CEDRIC JUST CALLED FROM SOUTH CAROLINA. 1803 01:14:32,792 --> 01:14:34,375 HE'S ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. 1804 01:14:34,459 --> 01:14:35,542 WHAT? 1805 01:14:35,626 --> 01:14:36,918 Lorraine: THINK OF IT! 1806 01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,417 I MUST CATCH THE NEXT PLANE. 1807 01:14:38,500 --> 01:14:40,042 MAY I COME IN NOW, LORRAINE? 1808 01:14:40,125 --> 01:14:41,042 OH, MAGGIE, DARLING, 1809 01:14:41,125 --> 01:14:43,000 CAN I GET A PLANE OUT OF HERE? 1810 01:14:43,083 --> 01:14:45,042 THE MOST WONDERFUL THING IN THE WORLD'S HAPPENED. 1811 01:14:45,125 --> 01:14:47,375 LORD BOTTOMLY'S ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. MAGGIE! 1812 01:14:47,459 --> 01:14:48,626 REALLY? WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 1813 01:14:48,709 --> 01:14:50,459 I'M SO EXCITED I CAN HARDLY THINK. 1814 01:14:50,542 --> 01:14:52,542 YOU MUST HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE. 1815 01:14:52,626 --> 01:14:53,876 I'D BE DELIGHTED TO. 1816 01:14:53,959 --> 01:14:56,250 CAN YOU LOOK UP THINGS RIGHT AWAY? 1817 01:14:56,334 --> 01:14:57,709 YES. I HAVE TIMETABLE OVER HERE. 1818 01:14:57,792 --> 01:15:00,334 AND IF YOU CAN'T CATCH A PLANE OUT OF HERE, 1819 01:15:00,417 --> 01:15:01,626 I'LL DRIVE YOU TO CLEVELAND. 1820 01:15:01,709 --> 01:15:03,876 MAGGIE, YOU'RE WONDERFUL! SHERRY! 1821 01:15:03,959 --> 01:15:05,751 SHERRY, DARLING, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 1822 01:15:05,834 --> 01:15:07,000 YOU HAVEN'T SAID A WORD. 1823 01:15:07,083 --> 01:15:08,709 YOU HAVEN'T EVEN CONGRATULATED ME. 1824 01:15:08,792 --> 01:15:10,083 LET ME UNDERSTAND THIS, LORRAINE. 1825 01:15:10,167 --> 01:15:12,375 AM I TO GATHER FROM YOUR GIRLISH SQUEALS 1826 01:15:12,459 --> 01:15:15,125 THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO TOSS YOUR CAREER INTO THE ASHCAN? 1827 01:15:15,209 --> 01:15:16,542 WELL, SHERRY, YOU COULDN'T EXPECT-- 1828 01:15:16,626 --> 01:15:18,751 DON'T EXPLAIN, LORRAINE. I UNDERSTAND ONLY TOO WELL. 1829 01:15:18,834 --> 01:15:20,167 I ALSO UNDERSTAND WHY CORNELL 1830 01:15:20,250 --> 01:15:23,751 REMAINS THE FIRST ACTRESS OF OUR THEATER. 1831 01:15:23,834 --> 01:15:24,918 WE'RE IN LUCK. 1832 01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:27,334 THERE'S A PLANE OUT 03. 1833 01:15:27,417 --> 01:15:29,083 IT TAKES AN HOUR TO DRIVE OVER. 1834 01:15:29,167 --> 01:15:31,167 ISN'T EVERYTHING WORKING OUT BEAUTIFULLY? 1835 01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:32,542 PEACHY! 1836 01:15:32,626 --> 01:15:34,375 WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE HOTEL? 1837 01:15:34,459 --> 01:15:36,626 I WANNA GET MY MAID TO START PACKING. 1838 01:15:36,709 --> 01:15:38,000 THE MANSION HOUSE. 1839 01:15:40,834 --> 01:15:42,417 MANSION HOUSE, PLEASE. 1840 01:15:42,500 --> 01:15:44,792 OH, IT'S SNOWING. ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? 1841 01:15:44,876 --> 01:15:46,667 I NEVER FELT SO MUCH LIKE CHRISTMAS 1842 01:15:46,751 --> 01:15:47,792 IN ALL MY LIFE. 1843 01:15:47,876 --> 01:15:49,125 DON'T YOU, SHERRY, DEAR? 1844 01:15:49,209 --> 01:15:51,125 SHUT YOUR NASTY LITTLE FACE! 1845 01:15:53,375 --> 01:15:56,209 HELLO? HELLO? THIS IS MISS SHELDON. 1846 01:15:56,292 --> 01:15:58,209 PUT ME THROUGH TO MY MAID, PLEASE. 1847 01:15:59,876 --> 01:16:02,834 COSETTE? NOW, LISTEN CAREFULLY, COSETTE. 1848 01:16:02,918 --> 01:16:05,334 WE'RE LEAVING BY PLANE TONIGHT FOR SOUTH CAROLINA. 1849 01:16:05,417 --> 01:16:07,125 I WANT YOU TO START PACKING IMMEDIATELY, 1850 01:16:07,209 --> 01:16:09,125 I'LL CALL FOR YOU IN ABOUT AN HOUR. 1851 01:16:09,209 --> 01:16:11,751 I WANT YOU TO SEND SOME TELEGRAMS FOR ME. 1852 01:16:11,834 --> 01:16:14,584 HAVE YOU GOT A PENCIL? RIGHT. NOW, THE FIRST ONE GOES 1853 01:16:14,667 --> 01:16:17,000 TO THE DUCHESS OF SOUTHERLAND. SHE'S IN NEWPORT. 1854 01:16:17,083 --> 01:16:19,125 YOU'LL FIND ALL THESE ADDRESSES IN THE BOOK. 1855 01:16:19,209 --> 01:16:21,375 IT'S IN MY DRESSING CASE. ALL READY? 1856 01:16:21,459 --> 01:16:23,834 "DARLING, CEDRIC AND I 1857 01:16:23,918 --> 01:16:26,542 "ARE BEING MARRIED TOMORROW, SOUTH CAROLINA. 1858 01:16:26,626 --> 01:16:30,792 WANTED YOU TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. LOVE, LORRAINE." 1859 01:16:30,876 --> 01:16:35,167 OH, MADAME, I AM SO HAPPY! AT LAST YOU HAVE HOOKED HIM. 1860 01:16:35,250 --> 01:16:38,042 THANK YOU, COSETTE. THANK YOU. 1861 01:16:38,125 --> 01:16:40,083 I WANT YOU TO SEND THE SAME MESSAGE 1862 01:16:40,167 --> 01:16:41,626 TO MR. AND MRS. PERRY LIVINGSTON, 1863 01:16:41,709 --> 01:16:44,250 MRS. CORNELIUS VANDERBILT, AND MY MOTHER IN KANSAS CITY. 1864 01:16:44,334 --> 01:16:47,000 NOW I'LL SEND A WIRE 1865 01:16:47,083 --> 01:16:50,083 "CAN YOU BRING TO SOUTH CAROLINA THE TRIPLE STRING OF PEARLS 1866 01:16:50,167 --> 01:16:53,292 I PICKED OUT IN OCTOBER? LORRAINE SHELDON." 1867 01:16:53,375 --> 01:16:55,834 NOW, HAVE YOU GOT ALL THAT STRAIGHT, COSETTE? 1868 01:16:55,918 --> 01:16:58,000 THAT'S FINE. OH, YOU MUST HURRY, DEAR. 1869 01:16:58,083 --> 01:17:01,292 I'LL BE THERE IN ABOUT AN HOUR, AND YOU MUSTN'T BE LATE. 1870 01:17:01,375 --> 01:17:03,626 ALRIGHT. GOOD-BYE. 1871 01:17:05,042 --> 01:17:07,334 THANK GOODNESS FOR COSETTE. I'D DIE WITHOUT HER. 1872 01:17:07,417 --> 01:17:09,167 WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT AN HOUR AGO 1873 01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:11,209 I'D BE ON MY WAY TO SOUTH CAROLINA? 1874 01:17:11,292 --> 01:17:13,250 LIFE IS JUST FULL OF SURPRISES, ISN'T IT? 1875 01:17:13,334 --> 01:17:15,876 WILL YOU BOTH STOP THIS FEMALE DROOLING? 1876 01:17:15,959 --> 01:17:17,209 I HAVE A VIOLENT HEADACHE. 1877 01:17:17,292 --> 01:17:19,292 OH, SHERRY. CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? 1878 01:17:19,375 --> 01:17:20,417 NOW, LOOK HERE, SHERRY. 1879 01:17:20,500 --> 01:17:22,209 AFTER ALL, MY LIFE IS MY OWN. 1880 01:17:22,292 --> 01:17:23,834 GOOD EVENING, MR. JEFFERSON. 1881 01:17:23,918 --> 01:17:24,792 HELLO, JOHN. 1882 01:17:24,876 --> 01:17:25,918 HELLO, EVERYBODY. 1883 01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:27,626 SAY, DO YOU KNOW IT'S SNOWING OUT? 1884 01:17:27,709 --> 01:17:29,500 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A REAL OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTMAS. 1885 01:17:29,584 --> 01:17:31,751 WHY DON'T YOU TELEPHONE YOUR SCOOP 1886 01:17:31,834 --> 01:17:33,792 TO THE ASSOCIATED PRESS?! 1887 01:17:33,876 --> 01:17:35,375 HA HA HA! 1888 01:17:35,459 --> 01:17:37,792 MISS SHELDON HAS TO CATCH A PLANE FROM CLEVELAND. 1889 01:17:37,876 --> 01:17:39,626 SHALL WE DRIVE HER OVER? 1890 01:17:39,709 --> 01:17:41,375 WHY, CERTAINLY. OH, THANKS, MAGGIE. 1891 01:17:41,459 --> 01:17:43,209 SORRY YOU HAVE TO GO, MISS SHELDON. 1892 01:17:43,292 --> 01:17:44,876 NO BAD NEWS, I HOPE. 1893 01:17:44,959 --> 01:17:45,918 OH, ON THE CONTRARY, 1894 01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:47,250 VERY GOOD NEWS-- WONDERFUL NEWS! 1895 01:17:47,334 --> 01:17:49,542 Maggie: YES, INDEED. CALLS FOR A DRINK, I THINK. 1896 01:17:49,626 --> 01:17:52,792 YOU'RE NOT A VERY GOOD HOST. HOW ABOUT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE? 1897 01:17:52,876 --> 01:17:54,876 Bert: OH, I CAN DO BETTER. 1898 01:17:54,959 --> 01:17:56,918 LET ME MIX YOU A JEFFERSON SPECIAL. 1899 01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:58,334 HOW ABOUT IT, MR. WHITESIDE? 1900 01:17:58,417 --> 01:17:59,584 OH, YES, YES, YES, YES! 1901 01:17:59,667 --> 01:18:01,876 MIX ANYTHING, ONLY STOP DRIVELING! 1902 01:18:01,959 --> 01:18:04,209 ANYBODY ADMIRED MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT YET, MAGGIE? 1903 01:18:04,292 --> 01:18:05,500 OH, I FORGOT. 1904 01:18:05,584 --> 01:18:07,459 FROM MR. JEFFERSON TO ME. 1905 01:18:07,542 --> 01:18:09,876 OH, MAGGIE, LET ME SEE! 1906 01:18:09,959 --> 01:18:10,959 WHY, THAT'S CHARMING. 1907 01:18:11,042 --> 01:18:12,542 THAT'S A LOVELY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 1908 01:18:12,626 --> 01:18:14,125 ISN'T THAT SWEET, SHERRY? 1909 01:18:14,209 --> 01:18:15,250 DUCKY! 1910 01:18:15,334 --> 01:18:17,542 HA HA HA! 1911 01:18:17,626 --> 01:18:20,000 I TOLD YOU IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, BERTSIE. 1912 01:18:20,083 --> 01:18:21,584 WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO? 1913 01:18:21,667 --> 01:18:24,125 MAGGIE, ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING FROM US? 1914 01:18:24,209 --> 01:18:26,584 GREAT HEAVENS! WILL THIS DRIVEL NEVER STOP? 1915 01:18:26,667 --> 01:18:28,250 MY HEAD IS BURSTING! 1916 01:18:28,334 --> 01:18:31,250 MY JEFFERSON SPECIAL WILL CURE ANYTHING. 1917 01:18:31,334 --> 01:18:32,334 BY THE WAY, MAGGIE, 1918 01:18:32,417 --> 01:18:33,584 I GOT A ONE-MINUTE INTERVIEW 1919 01:18:33,667 --> 01:18:35,167 WITH BEVERLY CARLTON AT THE STATION. 1920 01:18:35,250 --> 01:18:36,792 YOU WERE RIGHT. HE'S QUITE SOMETHING! 1921 01:18:36,876 --> 01:18:38,792 GO AHEAD AND MIX THE DRINKS, WILL YOU? 1922 01:18:38,876 --> 01:18:41,459 I WAS LUCKY. HE WAS IN A TELEPHONE BOOTH MOSTLY. 1923 01:18:41,542 --> 01:18:42,709 MIX THE DRINKS, WILL YOU? 1924 01:18:42,792 --> 01:18:44,292 COULDN'T HEAR WHAT HE WAS SAYING, 1925 01:18:44,375 --> 01:18:47,334 BUT IT LOOKED LIKE A SCENE FROM ONE OF HIS PLAYS. 1926 01:18:47,417 --> 01:18:51,626 JUST A MOMENT, IF YOU PLEASE, MR. JEFFERSON. 1927 01:18:51,709 --> 01:18:53,584 MR. CARLTON WAS IN A TELEPHONE BOOTH 1928 01:18:53,667 --> 01:18:54,959 AT THE STATION? 1929 01:18:55,042 --> 01:18:56,500 I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER COME OUT. 1930 01:18:56,584 --> 01:18:57,667 KEPT TALKING AND MAKING 1931 01:18:57,751 --> 01:18:59,918 THE DARNDEST FACES FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES. 1932 01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:01,375 AH, BERT, MY BOY, 1933 01:19:01,459 --> 01:19:03,500 I FEEL I'M GONNA LOVE THE JEFFERSON SPECIAL. 1934 01:19:03,584 --> 01:19:05,334 MAKE ME A DOUBLE ONE, WILL YOU? 1935 01:19:05,417 --> 01:19:07,792 MY HEADACHE IS GONE WITH THE WIND. 1936 01:19:07,876 --> 01:19:09,167 OKAY! 1937 01:19:12,083 --> 01:19:14,792 PHILO VANCE IS NOW AT WORK. 1938 01:19:18,584 --> 01:19:22,334 OPERATOR? HAVE THERE BEEN ANY CALLS OVER THIS PHONE 1939 01:19:22,417 --> 01:19:23,834 FROM SOUTH CAROLINA 1940 01:19:23,918 --> 01:19:26,167 DURING THE PAST HALF-HOUR? 1941 01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:27,709 YES, I'LL WAIT. 1942 01:19:27,792 --> 01:19:29,834 SHERRY, WHAT IS ALL THIS? 1943 01:19:29,918 --> 01:19:31,375 SHH! 1944 01:19:31,459 --> 01:19:32,709 WHAT'S THAT? 1945 01:19:32,792 --> 01:19:34,000 THERE HAVE BEEN NO CALLS 1946 01:19:34,083 --> 01:19:36,500 FROM SOUTH CAROLINA AT ANY TIME? 1947 01:19:36,584 --> 01:19:39,792 THANK YOU. NOW, WILL YOU REPEAT THAT, PLEASE? 1948 01:19:39,876 --> 01:19:41,209 BLOSSOM GIRL... 1949 01:19:41,292 --> 01:19:43,876 HEAR IT, DEAR? 1950 01:19:43,959 --> 01:19:46,209 THANK YOU, OPERATOR, AND MERRY CHRISTMAS! 1951 01:19:46,292 --> 01:19:48,459 SHERRY, WHAT IS ALL THIS? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 1952 01:19:48,542 --> 01:19:51,083 YOU JUST PLAYED THE GREATEST LOVE SCENE OF YOUR CAREER 1953 01:19:51,167 --> 01:19:52,584 WITH YOUR OLD FRIEND BEVERLY CARLTON. 1954 01:19:52,667 --> 01:19:54,709 THAT'S NOT TRUE. I WAS TALKING TO CEDRIC! 1955 01:19:54,792 --> 01:19:55,834 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1956 01:19:55,918 --> 01:19:57,459 MY BLOSSOM, THAT WAS BEVERLY 1957 01:19:57,542 --> 01:19:59,834 YOU POURED OUT YOUR HEART TO, NOT LORD BOTTOMLY! 1958 01:19:59,918 --> 01:20:01,542 WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT 5 MINUTES AGO 1959 01:20:01,626 --> 01:20:03,918 THAT YOU WOULD NOT BE GOING TO SOUTH CAROLINA? 1960 01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:05,375 SHERRY, I WANT THIS EXPLAINED! 1961 01:20:05,459 --> 01:20:06,751 EXPLAINED? YOU'VE HEARD BEVERLY 1962 01:20:06,834 --> 01:20:08,584 IMITATE LORD BOTTOMLY BEFORE, HAVEN'T YOU? 1963 01:20:08,667 --> 01:20:10,584 WHY, YES, YES, OF COURSE, BUT WHY? 1964 01:20:10,667 --> 01:20:11,626 WHY IN THE WORLD 1965 01:20:11,709 --> 01:20:13,751 WOULD HE WANT TO DO SUCH A THING? 1966 01:20:13,834 --> 01:20:16,000 WHY, THIS IS THE MOST DREADFUL-- 1967 01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:18,459 OH! ALL THOSE TELEGRAMS! 1968 01:20:21,292 --> 01:20:23,292 GIVE ME THE HOTEL WHATEVER-IT'S-CALLED. 1969 01:20:23,375 --> 01:20:24,626 I WANT THE HOTEL! 1970 01:20:24,709 --> 01:20:26,709 THE RAT! I'LL PAY HIM BACK FOR THIS 1971 01:20:26,792 --> 01:20:28,209 IF IT'S THE LAST THING-- 1972 01:20:28,292 --> 01:20:31,125 WHY, THE SKUNK! THE DIRTY, ROTTEN--MANSION HOUSE? 1973 01:20:31,209 --> 01:20:32,375 CONNECT ME WITH MY MAID. 1974 01:20:32,459 --> 01:20:34,709 WHAT?! WHO THE DEVIL DO YOU THINK IT IS? 1975 01:20:34,792 --> 01:20:36,375 MISS SHELDON, OF COURSE! 1976 01:20:36,459 --> 01:20:38,667 OH, IF ONLY COSETTE HASN'T SENT THOSE-- 1977 01:20:38,751 --> 01:20:42,334 COSETTE--COSETTE, DID YOU SEND THOSE TELEGRAMS? 1978 01:20:42,417 --> 01:20:44,417 OH. OH, NOW, LISTEN, COSETTE. 1979 01:20:44,500 --> 01:20:47,584 I WANT YOU TO SEND ANOTHER TELEGRAM TO EVERY ONE OF THEM. 1980 01:20:47,667 --> 01:20:49,334 TELL THEM SOMEBODY'S BEEN USING MY NAME 1981 01:20:49,417 --> 01:20:50,876 AND TO DISREGARD ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING 1982 01:20:50,959 --> 01:20:53,584 THEY HEAR FROM ME, EXCEPT THIS, OF COURSE! 1983 01:20:53,667 --> 01:20:56,250 DON'T ASK QUESTIONS. DO AS YOU'RE TOLD! 1984 01:20:56,334 --> 01:20:58,042 DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, YOU FRENCH MORON! 1985 01:20:58,125 --> 01:21:00,417 DO AS YOU'RE TOLD AND UNPACK! WE'RE NOT GOING! 1986 01:21:00,500 --> 01:21:01,876 Sherry: BLOSSOM, TAKE IT EASY. 1987 01:21:01,959 --> 01:21:03,167 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1988 01:21:03,250 --> 01:21:05,751 I'M GOING TO BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF NEW YORK. 1989 01:21:05,834 --> 01:21:07,584 I ALWAYS KNEW BEVERLY CARLTON WAS LOW, 1990 01:21:07,667 --> 01:21:09,083 BUT NOT THIS LOW! 1991 01:21:09,167 --> 01:21:11,709 WHY? WHY? WHY WOULD ANYONE IN THE WORLD 1992 01:21:11,792 --> 01:21:13,834 WANT TO PLAY A SILLY TRICK LIKE THIS? 1993 01:21:13,918 --> 01:21:15,000 I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT! 1994 01:21:15,083 --> 01:21:16,584 DO YOU, SHERRY? DO YOU, MAGGIE? 1995 01:21:16,667 --> 01:21:19,918 WHY WOULD HE WALK OUT OF HERE, GO STRAIGHT TO A TELEPHONE BOOTH 1996 01:21:20,042 --> 01:21:22,918 TRY AND SEND ME TO SOUTH CAROLINA ON A FOOL'S ERRAND? 1997 01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:24,209 THERE MUST BE SOME REASON! 1998 01:21:24,292 --> 01:21:25,209 WHY WOULD BEVERLY CARLTON, 1999 01:21:25,292 --> 01:21:26,834 OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER, 2000 01:21:26,918 --> 01:21:28,125 WANT ME TO-- 2001 01:21:32,876 --> 01:21:36,167 OH! I THINK I BEGIN-- 2002 01:21:36,250 --> 01:21:39,542 OF COURSE! OF COURSE! THAT'S IT! 2003 01:21:39,626 --> 01:21:41,459 YES, AND THAT'S A VERY CHARMING BRACELET 2004 01:21:41,542 --> 01:21:42,584 MR. JEFFERSON GAVE YOU. 2005 01:21:42,667 --> 01:21:44,083 ISN'T IT, MAGGIE, MY DEAR? 2006 01:21:44,167 --> 01:21:45,709 IT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE NOW. 2007 01:21:45,792 --> 01:21:47,375 AND TO THINK THAT I NEARLY-- 2008 01:21:47,459 --> 01:21:50,292 WELL, WILD HORSES COULDN'T GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW, MAGGIE. 2009 01:21:50,375 --> 01:21:52,334 AND IF I WERE YOU, I'D HANG ON 2010 01:21:52,417 --> 01:21:53,792 TO THAT CHARMING BRACELET, MY DEAR. 2011 01:21:53,876 --> 01:21:55,876 IT'LL BE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER HIM BY. 2012 01:21:55,959 --> 01:21:57,542 ALRIGHT, MR. WHITESIDE. IT'S ALMOST TIME. 2013 01:21:57,626 --> 01:21:59,834 HOOK HIM UP, BOYS, AND START TESTING, WILL YOU? 2014 01:21:59,918 --> 01:22:02,292 HELP US MOVE THIS FURNITURE OUT OF THE WAY. 2015 01:22:02,375 --> 01:22:03,500 HERE'S THE NEW SCRIPT. 2016 01:22:03,584 --> 01:22:04,500 COME, DAISY. 2017 01:22:04,584 --> 01:22:06,584 Man: TESTING. 1, 2, 3, 4. 2018 01:22:06,667 --> 01:22:07,834 MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB. 2019 01:22:07,918 --> 01:22:10,125 1, 2, 3, 4. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB. 2020 01:22:10,209 --> 01:22:11,626 HERE COMES THE JEFFERSON SPECIAL. 2021 01:22:11,709 --> 01:22:14,334 - OH, HAVE WE TIME? - I'M SURE WE DO, MR. JEFFERSON. 2022 01:22:14,417 --> 01:22:16,751 I'M NOT LEAVING AFTER ALL. MY PLANS ARE CHANGED. 2023 01:22:16,834 --> 01:22:17,918 REALLY? OH, THAT'S GOOD. 2024 01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:20,167 AND YOU CAN READ THE PLAY TO ME TONIGHT. 2025 01:22:20,250 --> 01:22:22,709 WE'LL GO BACK TO THE MANSION HOUSE RIGHT AFTER DINNER. 2026 01:22:22,792 --> 01:22:25,500 I'D BE DELIGHTED. MAGGIE, DID YOU HEAR THAT? 2027 01:22:25,584 --> 01:22:28,375 SAY, I'LL BET YOU DID THIS. YOU ARRANGED THE WHOLE THING. 2028 01:22:28,459 --> 01:22:31,250 WELL, IT'S THE FINEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT YOU COULD'VE GIVEN ME. 2029 01:22:37,209 --> 01:22:39,500 MAGGIE! MAGGIE! 2030 01:22:43,209 --> 01:22:45,626 - MR. WHITESIDE. - I DON'T NEED IT. 2031 01:22:45,709 --> 01:22:47,709 MY SON HAS RUN OFF ON A FREIGHTER, 2032 01:22:47,792 --> 01:22:49,542 AND MY DAUGHTER IS MARRYING A UNITER! 2033 01:22:49,626 --> 01:22:51,876 OH, I SEE YOU'RE STILL BUSY. 2034 01:22:51,959 --> 01:22:53,542 STAND BACK FROM THE MICROPHONE! 2035 01:22:53,626 --> 01:22:55,042 LET MR. WHITESIDE BROADCAST, PLEASE. 2036 01:22:56,459 --> 01:22:58,292 Wescott: GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE. 2037 01:22:58,375 --> 01:22:59,542 WE'RE GOING ON AIR! 2038 01:22:59,626 --> 01:23:01,083 ALRIGHT, BOYS. STEP RIGHT THIS WAY. 2039 01:23:01,167 --> 01:23:03,667 WE'LL USE THE MICROPHONE OVER HERE. 2040 01:23:03,751 --> 01:23:06,209 SNAP INTO IT, FELLAS. SNAP INTO IT! 2041 01:23:06,292 --> 01:23:08,000 OKAY, NEW YORK. 2042 01:23:08,083 --> 01:23:09,083 Wescott: CREAM OF MUSH 2043 01:23:09,167 --> 01:23:11,959 BRINGS YOU SHERIDAN WHITESIDE. 2044 01:23:19,667 --> 01:23:20,876 A PENGUIN BIT ME. 2045 01:23:23,459 --> 01:23:26,042 THIS IS WHITESIDE SPEAKING. 2046 01:23:26,125 --> 01:23:27,667 ON THIS EVE OF EVES, 2047 01:23:27,751 --> 01:23:31,292 WHEN MY OWN HEART IS OVERFLOWING WITH PEACE AND KINDNESS, 2048 01:23:31,375 --> 01:23:33,626 I THINK IT'S MOST FITTING TO TELL, ONCE AGAIN, 2049 01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:36,417 THE STORY OF THAT STILL AND LUSTROUS NIGHT. 2050 01:23:38,334 --> 01:23:40,083 A FINE CHRISTMAS MORNING-- 2051 01:23:40,167 --> 01:23:42,125 MRS. STANLEY UP THERE CRYING IN HER ROOM, 2052 01:23:42,209 --> 01:23:43,667 MR. STANLEY OFF IN CHICAGO SOMEPLACE. 2053 01:23:43,751 --> 01:23:46,584 YOU THINK HE'LL CATCH THEM IN TIME TO STOP THE MARRIAGE? 2054 01:23:46,667 --> 01:23:48,083 I DON'T KNOW, SARAH. 2055 01:23:48,167 --> 01:23:50,083 NOBODY KNOWS WHERE MR. RICHARD WENT. 2056 01:23:50,167 --> 01:23:52,751 EVEN MR. WHITESIDE NEAR BIT MY HEAD OFF THIS MORNING 2057 01:23:52,834 --> 01:23:54,500 WHEN I ASKED IF HE WANTED BREAKFAST. 2058 01:23:54,584 --> 01:23:56,334 MISS CUTLER DIDN'T TAKE ANY BREAKFAST, EITHER. 2059 01:23:56,417 --> 01:23:57,626 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH EVERYBODY? 2060 01:23:57,709 --> 01:23:59,292 GOOD MORNING, MR. WHITESIDE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 2061 01:23:59,375 --> 01:24:00,459 MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. WHITESIDE. 2062 01:24:00,542 --> 01:24:01,876 OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS, JOHN, SARAH. 2063 01:24:01,959 --> 01:24:04,542 - HAS MISS CUTLER COME DOWN YET? - NO, SIR. NOT YET. 2064 01:24:04,626 --> 01:24:05,834 - SHE'S STILL IN HER ROOM? 2065 01:24:05,918 --> 01:24:07,334 YES, SIR. SHALL I CALL HER? 2066 01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:10,375 - NO. THANK YOU, JOHN. - YES, SIR. 2067 01:24:10,459 --> 01:24:12,626 YOU DON'T THINK IT'S ALL GOT SOMETHING TO DO 2068 01:24:12,709 --> 01:24:14,918 WITH MR. WHITESIDE, DO YOU? ALL THESE GOINGS-ON? 2069 01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:18,042 MR. WHITESIDE? A LOVELY MAN LIKE HIM? NO! 2070 01:24:27,918 --> 01:24:30,292 YOU CAN DROP THAT GUILTY EXPRESSION, SHERRY. 2071 01:24:30,375 --> 01:24:31,792 IT'S NOT A GUILTY EXPRESSION. 2072 01:24:31,876 --> 01:24:34,125 IT'S SIMPLY THAT I HAVEN'T HAD MY BREAKFAST YET. 2073 01:24:34,209 --> 01:24:36,167 NOW, MAGGIE, IF YOU'D ONLY LISTEN TO REASON-- 2074 01:24:36,250 --> 01:24:38,250 00 TRAIN. I'M LEAVING. 2075 01:24:38,334 --> 01:24:39,959 YOU'RE DOING NOTHING OF THE KIND. 2076 01:24:40,042 --> 01:24:42,459 HERE ARE YOUR KEYS, YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE. 2077 01:24:42,542 --> 01:24:45,792 THE KEY TO THE SAFETY VAULT IS IN YOUR APARTMENT IN NEW YORK. 2078 01:24:45,876 --> 01:24:50,000 - I'M GOING TO CLEAR THINGS UP. - NOW JUST A MOMENT, SARAH. 2079 01:24:50,083 --> 01:24:51,292 WHERE WERE YOU THIS MORNING? 2080 01:24:51,375 --> 01:24:53,792 I SAT UP HALF THE NIGHT WORRYING ABOUT YOU. 2081 01:24:53,876 --> 01:24:56,500 YOU HEARD ME CALLING TO YOU WHEN YOU CAME IN. 2082 01:24:56,584 --> 01:24:57,751 WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER ME? 2083 01:24:57,834 --> 01:24:59,417 LOOK, IT'S ALL OVER, AND YOU WON. 2084 01:24:59,500 --> 01:25:02,500 - I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. - OH? COME, COME, COME, COME. 2085 01:25:02,584 --> 01:25:05,292 ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NAUGHTY BOY? 2086 01:25:05,375 --> 01:25:07,959 HONESTLY, MAGGIE, SOMETIMES YOU CAN BE VERY ANNOYING. 2087 01:25:09,792 --> 01:25:13,959 SHERRY, YOU'RE QUITE WONDERFUL IN A WAY. 2088 01:25:14,042 --> 01:25:16,083 YOU'RE ANNOYED. 2089 01:25:16,167 --> 01:25:19,250 I WISH I HAD A LAUGH LEFT IN ME. 2090 01:25:20,250 --> 01:25:22,542 SHALL I TELL YOU SOMETHING, SHERRY? 2091 01:25:22,626 --> 01:25:25,167 I THINK YOU'RE A SELFISH, PETTY EGOMANIAC 2092 01:25:25,250 --> 01:25:28,500 WHO WOULD JUST AS SOON SEE HIS MOTHER BURNING AT A STAKE IF-- 2093 01:25:28,584 --> 01:25:32,042 WELL, IF THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY HE HAD OF LIGHTING A CIGARETTE. 2094 01:25:32,125 --> 01:25:33,876 I THINK YOU'D SACRIFICE YOUR BEST FRIEND 2095 01:25:33,959 --> 01:25:35,834 WITHOUT A MOMENT'S HESITATION 2096 01:25:35,918 --> 01:25:37,876 IF HE INTERRUPTED THE SACRED RITUAL 2097 01:25:37,959 --> 01:25:41,042 OF YOUR SELF-CENTERED, PALTRY LITTLE LIFE. 2098 01:25:41,125 --> 01:25:42,250 I THINK YOU'RE INCAPABLE 2099 01:25:42,334 --> 01:25:44,667 OF ANY EMOTION HIGHER UP THAN YOUR STOMACH, 2100 01:25:44,751 --> 01:25:48,375 AND I WAS THE FOOL OF THE WORLD FOR EVER TRUSTING YOU. 2101 01:25:48,459 --> 01:25:49,709 WELL. 2102 01:25:49,792 --> 01:25:50,918 AS LONG AS I LIVE, 2103 01:25:51,000 --> 01:25:52,876 I'LL NEVER DO ANYONE A GOOD TURN AGAIN. 2104 01:25:52,959 --> 01:25:56,042 I SHAN'T ASK YOU TO APOLOGIZE, MAGGIE, BUT 6 MONTHS FROM NOW, 2105 01:25:56,125 --> 01:25:58,167 YOU'LL BE THANKING ME INSTEAD OF BERATING ME. 2106 01:25:58,250 --> 01:25:59,584 SHERRY, IN 6 MONTHS' TIME, 2107 01:25:59,667 --> 01:26:01,876 I'LL BE SO FAR AWAY FROM YOU THAT-- 2108 01:26:04,792 --> 01:26:06,459 HELLO, HELLO! 2109 01:26:06,542 --> 01:26:09,000 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 2110 01:26:09,083 --> 01:26:11,542 I'M A LITTLE HIGH, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. 2111 01:26:11,626 --> 01:26:13,959 HIYA, MAGGIE. HIYA, MR. WHITESIDE. 2112 01:26:14,042 --> 01:26:16,292 SHAKE HANDS WITH A SUCCESSFUL PLAYWRIGHT. 2113 01:26:16,375 --> 01:26:19,417 MAGGIE, WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY LAST NIGHT? WHERE WERE YOU? 2114 01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:21,125 MISS SHELDON THINKS THE PLAY IS WONDERFUL. 2115 01:26:21,209 --> 01:26:23,876 I READ HER THE PLAY, AND SHE THINKS IT'S WONDERFUL. 2116 01:26:23,959 --> 01:26:25,292 ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? 2117 01:26:25,375 --> 01:26:26,417 THAT'S FINE, BERT. 2118 01:26:26,500 --> 01:26:27,959 ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL, MR. WHITESIDE? 2119 01:26:28,042 --> 01:26:30,584 JEFFERSON, I THINK YOU OUGHT TO GO HOME, DON'T YOU? 2120 01:26:30,667 --> 01:26:32,584 WHAT? NO! BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 2121 01:26:32,667 --> 01:26:35,667 I KNOW I'M A LITTLE DRUNK, BUT THIS IS A BIG DAY. 2122 01:26:35,751 --> 01:26:38,417 WE'VE BEEN SITTING OVER IN BILLY'S TAVERN ALL NIGHT LONG. 2123 01:26:38,500 --> 01:26:41,250 MAGGIE, MISS SHELDON THINKS THE PLAY NEEDS A LITTLE FIXING. 2124 01:26:41,334 --> 01:26:43,709 DO IT IN 3 WEEKS. WE'RE GOING TO A PLACE 2125 01:26:43,792 --> 01:26:46,542 SHE'S GOT IN LAKE PLACID TO WORK ON THE PLAY TOGETHER. 2126 01:26:46,626 --> 01:26:48,959 ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? WHY DON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING, MAGGIE? 2127 01:26:49,042 --> 01:26:51,334 NOW, BERT, YOU TELL US ALL ABOUT THIS LATER. 2128 01:26:51,417 --> 01:26:53,334 RIGHT NOW, YOU OUGHT TO GO HOME. 2129 01:26:53,417 --> 01:26:57,042 EXCUSE ME. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 2130 01:26:57,125 --> 01:26:58,584 I THOUGHT THAT PERHAPS-- 2131 01:26:58,667 --> 01:27:01,125 DR. BRADLEY, A FAVOR, PLEASE. MR. JEFFERSON WOULD LIKE 2132 01:27:01,209 --> 01:27:02,876 SOME BLACK COFFEE AND A LITTLE BREAKFAST. 2133 01:27:02,959 --> 01:27:04,626 WOULD YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM, PLEASE? 2134 01:27:04,709 --> 01:27:07,792 - YES, YES, OF COURSE. - I WANNA BUY IT FOR YOU-- 2135 01:27:07,876 --> 01:27:10,000 THE BIGGEST BREAKFAST YOU EVER HAD. 2136 01:27:10,083 --> 01:27:12,626 - I KNOW WHAT WE'LL DO, DOCTOR. - YES, COME ALONG, JEFFERSON. 2137 01:27:12,709 --> 01:27:14,375 LET'S CLIMB DOWN A COUPLE OF CHIMNEYS. 2138 01:27:14,459 --> 01:27:16,876 I'VE GOT A FRIEND THAT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS. 2139 01:27:16,959 --> 01:27:20,626 LET'S CLIMB DOWN HIS CHIMNEY AND SCARE THE PANTS OFF OF HIM. 2140 01:27:20,709 --> 01:27:21,792 NOW, LOOK HERE, MAGGIE, 2141 01:27:21,876 --> 01:27:24,125 I'M WILLING TO FORGIVE YOUR TAWDRY OUTBURST 2142 01:27:24,209 --> 01:27:26,459 AND TALK ABOUT THIS CALMLY. 2143 01:27:26,542 --> 01:27:29,292 OH, SHERRY, I LOVE HIM SO TERRIBLY. 2144 01:27:29,375 --> 01:27:32,292 WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY DID YOU DO IT? 2145 01:27:43,667 --> 01:27:45,626 MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. WHITESIDE. 2146 01:27:45,709 --> 01:27:47,584 OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS, MISS STANLEY. 2147 01:27:47,667 --> 01:27:50,250 I'M AFRAID I SHOULDN'T BE SEEN TALKING TO YOU. 2148 01:27:50,334 --> 01:27:53,209 MY BROTHER IS TERRIBLY ANGRY, 2149 01:27:53,292 --> 01:27:55,209 BUT I COULDN'T RESIST ASKING. 2150 01:27:55,292 --> 01:27:57,626 DID YOU LIKE MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT? 2151 01:27:57,709 --> 01:27:59,209 OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, MISS STANLEY. 2152 01:27:59,292 --> 01:28:00,667 I HAVEN'T OPENED IT YET. 2153 01:28:00,751 --> 01:28:03,083 WELL, I HAVEN'T OPENED ANY OF MY PRESENTS YET. 2154 01:28:03,167 --> 01:28:07,167 OH, DEAR. I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO... 2155 01:28:07,250 --> 01:28:09,667 WHY, IT'S RIGHT HERE, MR. WHITESIDE. 2156 01:28:09,751 --> 01:28:11,209 WON'T YOU OPEN IT NOW? 2157 01:28:11,292 --> 01:28:13,083 I APPRECIATE THAT YOU'RE THINKING OF ME 2158 01:28:13,167 --> 01:28:14,083 THIS WAY, MISS STANLEY. 2159 01:28:14,167 --> 01:28:17,751 IT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU. 2160 01:28:17,834 --> 01:28:19,209 WHY, IT'S LOVELY. 2161 01:28:19,292 --> 01:28:21,083 I'M VERY FOND OF THESE OLD... 2162 01:28:21,167 --> 01:28:23,667 PHOTOGRAPHS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 2163 01:28:23,751 --> 01:28:26,667 I WAS 22 WHEN THAT WAS TAKEN. 2164 01:28:26,751 --> 01:28:29,292 THAT WAS MY FAVORITE DRESS... 2165 01:28:29,375 --> 01:28:31,542 BUT DO YOU REALLY LIKE IT? 2166 01:28:31,626 --> 01:28:33,876 I DO INDEED. WHEN I GET BACK TO TOWN, 2167 01:28:33,959 --> 01:28:35,667 I SHALL SEND YOU A LITTLE GIFT. 2168 01:28:35,751 --> 01:28:38,209 WILL YOU? OH, THANK YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. 2169 01:28:38,292 --> 01:28:40,375 I SHALL TREASURE IT. 2170 01:28:41,834 --> 01:28:43,250 WELL... 2171 01:28:43,334 --> 01:28:45,959 I SHALL BE LATE FOR CHURCH. 2172 01:28:48,459 --> 01:28:50,375 GOODBYE. 2173 01:28:52,542 --> 01:28:54,375 GOODBYE. 2174 01:28:59,667 --> 01:29:02,209 SARAH'S GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. 2175 01:29:02,292 --> 01:29:04,250 SHE'S JUST TAKING IT OUT OF THE OVEN. 2176 01:29:04,334 --> 01:29:05,751 Whiteside: OH, THANK YOU, JOHN. 2177 01:29:06,918 --> 01:29:09,417 WHAT IS THERE ABOUT THAT WOMAN? 2178 01:29:19,500 --> 01:29:21,209 MISS PREEN! 2179 01:29:21,292 --> 01:29:22,209 MISS PREEN! 2180 01:29:22,292 --> 01:29:23,792 YES, SIR. YES, SIR! 2181 01:29:23,876 --> 01:29:26,417 MISS PREEN, WHERE DO YOU HIDE YOURSELF ALL THE TIME? 2182 01:29:26,500 --> 01:29:29,792 MR. WHITESIDE, I CAN ONLY BE IN ONE PLACE AT A TIME. 2183 01:29:29,876 --> 01:29:32,459 WELL, THAT'S VERY FORTUNATE FOR THIS COMMUNITY. 2184 01:29:32,542 --> 01:29:35,250 NOW, GO AND ANSWER THE DOOR. JOHN'S GONE UPSTAIRS. 2185 01:29:35,334 --> 01:29:36,459 GO ON! 2186 01:29:45,500 --> 01:29:48,667 AH, MY BEAUTIFUL ONE! 2187 01:29:51,417 --> 01:29:52,959 YOU'RE GORGEOUS! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! 2188 01:29:53,042 --> 01:29:54,834 - PUT ME DOWN! - I LOVE YOU MADLY! 2189 01:29:54,918 --> 01:29:56,292 PUT ME DOWN, DO YOU HEAR? 2190 01:29:56,375 --> 01:29:58,792 MADLY! YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? MADLY! KISS ME! 2191 01:29:58,876 --> 01:30:01,626 DON'T YOU DARE KISS ME! PUT ME DOWN, OR I'LL SCREAM! 2192 01:30:01,709 --> 01:30:03,751 DON'T BE AFRAID OF MY HOT SPANISH BLOOD! 2193 01:30:03,834 --> 01:30:05,918 KISS ME! I CAN FEEL THE HOT BLOOD 2194 01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:07,626 POUNDING THROUGH YOUR VARICOSE VEINS! 2195 01:30:07,709 --> 01:30:09,334 - BANJO! - WHITESIDE! 2196 01:30:09,417 --> 01:30:11,626 WILL YOU SIGN FOR THIS PACKAGE, PLEASE? 2197 01:30:11,709 --> 01:30:12,834 PUT THAT WOMAN DOWN. 2198 01:30:12,918 --> 01:30:15,667 THAT'S MY NURSE, YOU MENTAL DELINQUENT. 2199 01:30:15,751 --> 01:30:18,292 COME TO MY ROOM IN A HALF-HOUR... 2200 01:30:18,375 --> 01:30:20,876 AND BRING SOME RYE BREAD. 2201 01:30:20,959 --> 01:30:22,209 AAH! 2202 01:30:22,292 --> 01:30:24,417 HA HA HA! 2203 01:30:24,918 --> 01:30:26,209 REALLY! 2204 01:30:26,292 --> 01:30:28,667 MR. WHITESIDE! 2205 01:30:31,083 --> 01:30:33,709 HA HA HA! 2206 01:30:33,792 --> 01:30:37,459 WHITESIDE, I'M HERE TO SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH YOU! 2207 01:30:37,542 --> 01:30:38,834 I THINK... 2208 01:30:38,918 --> 01:30:40,959 I MAY STAY A MONTH... 2209 01:30:41,042 --> 01:30:42,834 OR I MAY LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. 2210 01:30:42,918 --> 01:30:45,667 I DON'T KNOW. THINGS ARE SO UNCERTAIN. 2211 01:31:14,125 --> 01:31:17,209 OH, WILL YOU SHUT UP, YOU REFORM-SCHOOL FUGITIVE? 2212 01:31:17,292 --> 01:31:18,834 HA HA HA! 2213 01:31:18,918 --> 01:31:21,250 WHITESIDE, I LOVES YOU. I LOVES YOU. 2214 01:31:21,334 --> 01:31:22,834 HOW DID YOU GET HERE, ANYWAY? 2215 01:31:22,918 --> 01:31:24,751 SANTA CLAUS LOANED ME HIS REINDEER. 2216 01:31:24,834 --> 01:31:27,959 WHITESIDE, WE FINISHED SHOOTING THE PICTURE YESTERDAY, 2217 01:31:28,042 --> 01:31:29,417 SO WHAT DID I DO? 2218 01:31:29,500 --> 01:31:31,459 I BORROWED A B-19 FROM THE ARMY, 2219 01:31:31,542 --> 01:31:34,083 AND I'M ON MY WAY TO NOVA SCOTIA. 2220 01:31:34,167 --> 01:31:36,209 OH, SHH. 2221 01:31:36,292 --> 01:31:38,584 I'VE BROUGHT YOU A WONDERFUL PRESENT. 2222 01:31:38,667 --> 01:31:41,375 THIS SWEATER WAS ONCE WORN BY LANA TURNER. 2223 01:31:41,459 --> 01:31:43,417 TRY IT ON FOR SIZE. 2224 01:31:43,500 --> 01:31:44,667 HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY? 2225 01:31:44,751 --> 01:31:47,459 JUST LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A BATH. 2226 01:31:47,542 --> 01:31:48,792 AHH! 2227 01:31:48,876 --> 01:31:51,584 I'M ON MY WAY TO NOVA SCOTIA. WHERE'S MAGGIE? 2228 01:31:51,667 --> 01:31:54,083 NOVA SCOTIA? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NOVA SCOTIA FOR? 2229 01:31:54,167 --> 01:31:56,876 I'M SICK OF HOLLYWOOD, AND THERE'S A DAME IN NEW YORK 2230 01:31:56,959 --> 01:32:00,375 I DON'T WANT TO SEE, SO I FIGURED I'D GO TO NOVA SCOTIA 2231 01:32:00,459 --> 01:32:01,834 AND GET SOME SMOKED SALMON. 2232 01:32:01,918 --> 01:32:04,459 NOW, WHERE THE DEVIL'S MAGGIE? I WANT TO SEE HER. 2233 01:32:04,542 --> 01:32:07,083 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? WHERE IS SHE? 2234 01:32:07,167 --> 01:32:10,250 AH, BUMBUMS. 2235 01:32:10,334 --> 01:32:11,918 Whiteside: BANJO, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 2236 01:32:12,000 --> 01:32:13,918 I'M VERY ANNOYED AT MAGGIE--VERY. 2237 01:32:14,000 --> 01:32:16,167 WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER? 2238 01:32:19,167 --> 01:32:21,417 SAY, WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T WALK. 2239 01:32:21,500 --> 01:32:23,709 I'VE BEEN ALRIGHT FOR WEEKS. THAT ISN'T THE POINT. 2240 01:32:23,792 --> 01:32:25,751 I'M FURIOUS AT MAGGIE. SHE'S TURNED ON ME. 2241 01:32:25,834 --> 01:32:28,792 YOU KNOW HOW FOND I AM OF HER. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, 2242 01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:31,125 SHE'S REPAYING MY AFFECTIONS BY BEHAVING LIKE A FISHWIFE. 2243 01:32:31,209 --> 01:32:33,918 IF I BELIEVED THAT SHE WAS REALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM-- 2244 01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:38,083 IN LOVE WITH WHO? I JUST GOT HERE! REMEMBER? 2245 01:32:38,167 --> 01:32:40,542 I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU, YOU HOLLYWOOD NITWIT. 2246 01:32:40,626 --> 01:32:42,876 A YOUNG NEWSPAPERMAN HERE IN TOWN. 2247 01:32:42,959 --> 01:32:45,292 SO MAGGIE FINALLY FELL. 2248 01:32:45,375 --> 01:32:48,626 WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? SAY, WHAT KIND OF A GUY IS HE? 2249 01:32:48,709 --> 01:32:51,417 - SHUT UP AND LISTEN, WILL YOU? - WELL, GO ON. WHAT HAPPENED? 2250 01:32:51,500 --> 01:32:54,375 WELL, LORRAINE SHELDON HAPPENED TO COME OUT HERE AND VISIT ME. 2251 01:32:54,459 --> 01:32:55,876 THE "UMPH" GIRL HERE? WELL-- 2252 01:32:55,959 --> 01:32:59,500 NOW, LISTEN, THIS YOUNG FELLOW HAD WRITTEN A PLAY. 2253 01:32:59,584 --> 01:33:00,959 WELL, YOU CAN GUESS THE REST. 2254 01:33:01,042 --> 01:33:02,918 HE'S GOING AWAY WITH LORRAINE THIS AFTERNOON... 2255 01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:04,417 TO REWRITE. HMM. 2256 01:33:04,500 --> 01:33:07,751 SO THERE YOU ARE. MAGGIE'S IN THERE NOW CRYING HER EYES OUT. 2257 01:33:07,834 --> 01:33:09,125 GEE. 2258 01:33:10,667 --> 01:33:12,125 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LORRAINE SHELDON 2259 01:33:12,209 --> 01:33:13,542 HAPPENED TO COME HERE? 2260 01:33:13,626 --> 01:33:16,500 I SMELL A RAT, SHERRY-- A RAT WITH A BEARD. 2261 01:33:16,584 --> 01:33:18,500 WELL, ALRIGHT, BUT I DID IT FOR MAGGIE 2262 01:33:18,584 --> 01:33:21,000 BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING FOR HER. 2263 01:33:21,083 --> 01:33:24,417 SURE. YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF YOURSELF IN YEARS. 2264 01:33:24,500 --> 01:33:27,167 GEE, POOR KID. CAN I GO IN AND TALK TO HER? 2265 01:33:27,250 --> 01:33:29,834 - OH, LEAVE HER ALONE. - SAY, WHERE DOES THIS GUY LIVE? 2266 01:33:29,918 --> 01:33:33,042 - CAN WE GET A HOLD OF HIM? - NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, BANJO. 2267 01:33:33,125 --> 01:33:34,584 WE DON'T WANT ANY PHONY WARRANTS 2268 01:33:34,667 --> 01:33:37,334 OR YOU PRETENDING TO BE J. EDGAR HOOVER. 2269 01:33:37,417 --> 01:33:39,334 I'VE BEEN ALL THROUGH THAT WITH YOU BEFORE. 2270 01:33:39,417 --> 01:33:42,626 I GOT LORRAINE OUT HERE, AND I'VE GOT TO GET HER AWAY. 2271 01:33:42,709 --> 01:33:44,083 IT'S GOT TO BE GOOD, SHERRY. 2272 01:33:44,167 --> 01:33:46,125 LORRAINE'S NO DOPE. NOW, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING 2273 01:33:46,209 --> 01:33:48,918 THAT'D GET HER OUT OF HERE LIKE A BAT OUT OF-- 2274 01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:52,417 I GOT IT. THAT ENGLISHMAN SHE'S SO CRAZY ABOUT-- 2275 01:33:52,500 --> 01:33:53,459 WHAT'S HIS NAME AGAIN? 2276 01:33:53,542 --> 01:33:55,709 LORD, UH-- LORD BOTTOMLY! 2277 01:33:55,792 --> 01:33:58,542 - THAT'S IT-- BOTTOMLY! - NO, BANJO, NO! 2278 01:33:58,626 --> 01:34:00,292 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU DON'T CATCH ON. 2279 01:34:00,375 --> 01:34:02,292 WE SEND LORRAINE A TELEGRAM FROM THIS BIRD-- 2280 01:34:02,375 --> 01:34:06,167 I CATCH ON, BANJO. LORRAINE CAUGHT ON, TOO. IT'S BEEN TRIED. 2281 01:34:06,250 --> 01:34:08,709 OH, I TOLD YOU LORRAINE WAS NO DOPE. 2282 01:34:08,792 --> 01:34:11,334 WELL, YOU'VE GOT A TOUGH PROPOSITION ON YOUR HANDS. 2283 01:34:11,417 --> 01:34:12,834 YES, AND THERE'S SO LITTLE TIME. 2284 01:34:12,918 --> 01:34:14,918 LORRAINE'S TAKING HIM AWAY WITH HER THIS AFTERNOON. 2285 01:34:15,000 --> 01:34:16,959 THERE MUST BE SOME WAY OUT OF THIS. 2286 01:34:17,042 --> 01:34:18,834 OH, I'VE DONE THIS JOB TOO WELL. 2287 01:34:18,918 --> 01:34:20,042 STUCK, HUH? 2288 01:34:20,125 --> 01:34:22,209 IN THE WORDS OF A GREAT LYRIC POET, 2289 01:34:22,292 --> 01:34:23,334 YOU SAID IT. 2290 01:34:23,417 --> 01:34:25,375 LISTEN, I'M HUNGRY. DON'T WORRY. 2291 01:34:25,459 --> 01:34:26,709 WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING, SHERRY. 2292 01:34:26,792 --> 01:34:28,209 WE'LL GET LORRAINE OUT OF HERE 2293 01:34:28,292 --> 01:34:31,000 IF I GOTTA DO IT A PIECE AT A TIME. 2294 01:34:32,292 --> 01:34:34,626 GET OUT OF MY CHAIR. GO ON. GET. 2295 01:34:34,709 --> 01:34:37,417 MR. WHITESIDE-- OH, EXCUSE ME. 2296 01:34:37,500 --> 01:34:40,667 COME RIGHT IN, SARAH. IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT. 2297 01:34:40,751 --> 01:34:42,584 I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. 2298 01:34:42,667 --> 01:34:44,500 YOU HAVE? 2299 01:34:44,584 --> 01:34:46,834 BUT, MR. WHITESIDE, IT WAS FOR YOU. 2300 01:34:46,918 --> 01:34:47,918 OH, NEVER MIND, SARAH. 2301 01:34:48,000 --> 01:34:49,292 HE'S QUITE MAD. 2302 01:34:49,375 --> 01:34:52,292 - COME, PETRUSHKA! WE'LL DANCE! - BUT, MR. WHITESIDE-- 2303 01:34:52,375 --> 01:34:55,125 WE'LL DANCE IN THE SNOW WHILE ALL ST. PETERSBURG 2304 01:34:55,209 --> 01:34:56,667 IS AFLAME WITH JEALOUSY! 2305 01:34:56,751 --> 01:34:58,042 HA HA HA! 2306 01:34:58,125 --> 01:34:59,834 JUST GIVE HIM SOME BREAKFAST, SARAH. 2307 01:34:59,918 --> 01:35:01,834 HE'S HARMLESS. 2308 01:35:08,167 --> 01:35:09,292 JUST WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 2309 01:35:09,375 --> 01:35:11,584 IT MEANS, MR. WHITESIDE, THAT I AM LEAVING. 2310 01:35:11,667 --> 01:35:13,459 MY ADDRESS IS ON THE DESK INSIDE. 2311 01:35:13,542 --> 01:35:15,000 YOU CAN SEND ME A CHECK. 2312 01:35:15,083 --> 01:35:18,000 YOU REALIZE, MISS PREEN, THIS IS COMPLETELY UNPROFESSIONAL. 2313 01:35:18,083 --> 01:35:19,250 I DO INDEED. 2314 01:35:19,334 --> 01:35:20,792 I AM NOT ONLY WALKING OUT 2315 01:35:20,876 --> 01:35:22,292 ON THIS CASE, MR. WHITESIDE, 2316 01:35:22,375 --> 01:35:24,876 I AM LEAVING THE NURSING PROFESSION. 2317 01:35:24,959 --> 01:35:26,959 I BECAME A NURSE BECAUSE ALL MY LIFE, 2318 01:35:27,042 --> 01:35:28,626 EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, 2319 01:35:28,709 --> 01:35:31,876 I WAS FILLED WITH THE IDEA OF SERVING A SUFFERING HUMANITY. 2320 01:35:31,959 --> 01:35:34,417 AFTER ONE MONTH WITH YOU, MR. WHITESIDE, 2321 01:35:34,500 --> 01:35:36,834 I AM GOING TO WORK IN A MUNITIONS FACTORY. 2322 01:35:36,918 --> 01:35:38,834 FROM NOW ON, ANYTHING THAT I CAN DO 2323 01:35:38,918 --> 01:35:40,500 TO HELP EXTERMINATE THE HUMAN RACE 2324 01:35:40,584 --> 01:35:42,876 WILL FILL ME WITH THE GREATEST OF PLEASURE. 2325 01:35:42,959 --> 01:35:44,542 MR. WHITESIDE, 2326 01:35:44,626 --> 01:35:47,834 IF FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE HAD EVER NURSED YOU, 2327 01:35:47,918 --> 01:35:49,876 SHE WOULD HAVE MARRIED JACK THE RIPPER 2328 01:35:49,959 --> 01:35:53,083 INSTEAD OF FOUNDING THE RED CROSS. GOOD DAY. 2329 01:36:00,500 --> 01:36:02,584 OH, JUNE! JUNE, MY BABY! 2330 01:36:02,667 --> 01:36:04,167 MR. STANLEY IS HERE WITH JUNE! 2331 01:36:04,250 --> 01:36:05,626 HE'S BROUGHT JUNE BACK! 2332 01:36:05,709 --> 01:36:07,334 THANK GOODNESS! THANK GOODNESS! 2333 01:36:07,417 --> 01:36:09,792 OH, DARLING, YOU'RE NOT MAD AT HIM, ARE YOU? 2334 01:36:09,876 --> 01:36:11,167 NO, MOTHER. DON'T GET HYSTERICAL. 2335 01:36:11,250 --> 01:36:13,709 WELL, IF IT HAD BEEN ANYBODY BUT THAT AWFUL BOY-- 2336 01:36:13,792 --> 01:36:15,334 ERNEST, THANK GOODNESS YOU STOPPED IT. 2337 01:36:15,417 --> 01:36:17,834 - HOW EVER DID YOU DO IT? - NEVER MIND THAT, DAISY. 2338 01:36:17,918 --> 01:36:20,417 TAKE JUNE UPSTAIRS. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO HIM. 2339 01:36:20,500 --> 01:36:22,250 Mrs. Stanley: WHAT ABOUT RICHARD? ANY NEWS? 2340 01:36:22,334 --> 01:36:23,876 IT'S ALRIGHT, DAISY-- ALL UNDER CONTROL. 2341 01:36:23,959 --> 01:36:25,250 JUST TAKE JUNE UPSTAIRS. 2342 01:36:25,334 --> 01:36:27,000 DON'T YOU THINK WE'VE HAD ENOUGH MELODRAMA? 2343 01:36:27,083 --> 01:36:30,667 I DON'T HAVE TO BE TAKEN, I'LL GO. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 2344 01:36:30,751 --> 01:36:32,667 - MERRY CHRISTMAS, JUNE. - LOCK ME IN MY ROOM. 2345 01:36:32,751 --> 01:36:35,334 YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER AFTER YOU'VE HAD A HOT BATH. 2346 01:36:35,417 --> 01:36:37,626 HAVE YOU HAD ANYTHING TO EAT? 2347 01:36:37,709 --> 01:36:39,209 I'M PLEASED TO INFORM YOU, SIR, 2348 01:36:39,292 --> 01:36:40,751 THAT YOUR PLANS FOR MY DAUGHTER 2349 01:36:40,834 --> 01:36:42,751 SEEM TO HAVE GONE A TRIFLE AWRY. 2350 01:36:42,834 --> 01:36:44,834 SHE IS NOT-- NOR WILL SHE EVER BE-- 2351 01:36:44,918 --> 01:36:46,542 MARRIED TO THAT LABOR AGITATOR 2352 01:36:46,626 --> 01:36:48,542 THAT YOU SO KINDLY PICKED OUT FOR HER. 2353 01:36:48,626 --> 01:36:51,542 AS FOR MY SON, HE HAS BEEN APPREHENDED IN TOLEDO 2354 01:36:51,626 --> 01:36:53,876 AND WILL BE BROUGHT HOME WITHIN THE HOUR. 2355 01:36:53,959 --> 01:36:56,209 NOT HAVING YOUR GIFT FOR INVECTIVE, SIR, 2356 01:36:56,292 --> 01:36:57,876 I CANNOT TELL YOU WHAT I THINK 2357 01:36:57,959 --> 01:37:00,626 OF YOUR OBNOXIOUS INTERFERENCE IN MY AFFAIRS, 2358 01:37:00,709 --> 01:37:01,876 BUT I HAVE ARRANGED 2359 01:37:01,959 --> 01:37:03,667 THAT YOU WILL INTERFERE NO LONGER. 2360 01:37:03,751 --> 01:37:06,209 MR. WHITESIDE, THESE GENTLEMEN ARE DEPUTY SHERIFFS. 2361 01:37:06,292 --> 01:37:08,709 THEY HAVE A WARRANT BY WHICH I WILL BE ENABLED 2362 01:37:08,792 --> 01:37:11,834 TO PUT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE, AND I NEED HARDLY ADD 2363 01:37:11,918 --> 01:37:14,292 THAT IT'LL BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. 2364 01:37:14,375 --> 01:37:16,792 MR. WHITESIDE, I AM GIVING YOU 15 MINUTES 2365 01:37:16,876 --> 01:37:18,876 IN WHICH TO PACK UP AND GET OUT. 2366 01:37:18,959 --> 01:37:20,918 IF YOU HAVE NOT GONE IN 15 MINUTES, 2367 01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:23,584 THESE GENTLEMEN WILL FORCIBLY EJECT YOU. 2368 01:37:23,667 --> 01:37:24,584 THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN. 2369 01:37:24,667 --> 01:37:26,959 WILL YOU WAIT OUTSIDE, PLEASE? 2370 01:37:27,042 --> 01:37:28,500 15 MINUTES, MR. WHITESIDE, 2371 01:37:28,584 --> 01:37:30,792 AND THAT MEANS BAG, BAGGAGE, WHEELCHAIR, 2372 01:37:30,876 --> 01:37:33,000 PENGUINS, AND OCTOPUS! 2373 01:37:33,083 --> 01:37:35,751 I AM NOW GOING UPSTAIRS TO SMASH OUR RADIO 2374 01:37:35,834 --> 01:37:37,375 SO THAT NOT EVEN ACCIDENTALLY 2375 01:37:37,459 --> 01:37:39,167 WILL I EVER HEAR YOUR VOICE AGAIN! 2376 01:37:39,250 --> 01:37:42,083 SURE YOU DON'T WANT MY AUTOGRAPH, OLD FELLOW? 2377 01:37:42,167 --> 01:37:46,542 15 MINUTES, MR. WHITESIDE. 2378 01:37:46,626 --> 01:37:48,751 WELL, WHITESIDE, I DIDN'T GET AN IDEA, 2379 01:37:48,834 --> 01:37:50,584 BUT THE FOOD WAS WONDERFUL. 2380 01:37:50,667 --> 01:37:52,292 ANY NEWS FROM THE FRONT? 2381 01:37:52,375 --> 01:37:54,792 YES. THE ENEMY IS AT MY REAR AND NIBBLING. 2382 01:37:54,876 --> 01:37:56,542 WHERE DID YOU SAY MAGGIE WAS--IN THERE? 2383 01:37:56,626 --> 01:37:59,626 IT'S NO USE, BANJO. 00 TRAIN OUT. 2384 01:37:59,709 --> 01:38:01,417 NO KIDDING. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT. 2385 01:38:01,500 --> 01:38:03,751 YOU MEAN SHE'S QUIT YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? 2386 01:38:03,834 --> 01:38:05,125 - SHE'S REALLY LEAVING? - SHE IS. 2387 01:38:05,209 --> 01:38:06,375 THAT MEANS YOU ONLY GOT 2388 01:38:06,459 --> 01:38:07,792 00 TO DO SOMETHING. 2389 01:38:07,876 --> 01:38:10,667 NO, DEAR, I HAVE 15 MINUTES--14 MINUTES 2390 01:38:10,751 --> 01:38:14,209 IN WHICH TO PULL OUT OF MY HAT THE MOST GIGANTIC RABBIT EVER. 2391 01:38:14,292 --> 01:38:15,709 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 14 MINUTES? 2392 01:38:15,792 --> 01:38:17,667 IN EXACTLY 14 MINUTES, BABY'S ROSY LITTLE BODY 2393 01:38:17,751 --> 01:38:21,125 IS BEING TOSSED INTO THE SNOW. MY HOST HAS SWORN OUT A WARRANT. 2394 01:38:21,209 --> 01:38:22,792 - I AM BEING KICKED OUT. - WHAT? 2395 01:38:22,876 --> 01:38:24,542 I NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING. 2396 01:38:24,626 --> 01:38:26,334 WHAT WOULD HE DO SUCH A THING? 2397 01:38:26,417 --> 01:38:27,792 WELL, NEVER MIND. THE POINT IS, 2398 01:38:27,876 --> 01:38:30,584 I'VE ONLY GOT 14 MINUTES TO GET LORRAINE OUT OF HERE. 2399 01:38:30,667 --> 01:38:32,918 BANJO, DEAR, THE MASTER'S GROWING A LITTLE DESPERATE. 2400 01:38:33,000 --> 01:38:35,042 SAY, IF I KNEW WHERE SHE WAS, 2401 01:38:35,125 --> 01:38:37,250 I COULD GET A CAR AND RUN HER OVER. 2402 01:38:37,334 --> 01:38:39,459 - IT WOULDN'T HURT HER MUCH. - OH, BANJO, PLEASE. 2403 01:38:39,542 --> 01:38:40,792 GO AND TALK TO MAGGIE. 2404 01:38:40,876 --> 01:38:43,375 - I'VE GOT TO THINK. - ALRIGHT. 2405 01:38:48,375 --> 01:38:50,959 PARDON ME, MISS. IS THIS THE Y.M.C.A.? 2406 01:38:51,042 --> 01:38:52,792 OH, BANJO, YOU OLD DOLL! 2407 01:38:52,876 --> 01:38:55,125 OH, COME ON NOW, I'VE HEARD THE WHOLE STORY. 2408 01:38:55,209 --> 01:38:58,167 - EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT. - BANJO. 2409 01:38:58,250 --> 01:39:01,334 DON'T WORRY. YOUR UNCLE BANJO WILL PULL A FEW STRINGS. 2410 01:39:01,417 --> 01:39:03,834 - THAT WASN'T A BAD PUN, WAS IT? - NO. 2411 01:39:03,918 --> 01:39:06,000 YOU'RE GONA HEAR THAT IN MY NEXT PICTURE. 2412 01:39:09,125 --> 01:39:11,334 - IS THIS YOUR FATHER? - NO, YOU IDIOT. 2413 01:39:11,417 --> 01:39:15,250 HELLO, MR. WHITESIDE. I DIDN'T GET VERY FAR. ANY SUGGESTIONS? 2414 01:39:15,334 --> 01:39:17,209 I'M VERY SORRY, RICHARD-- VERY SORRY INDEED. 2415 01:39:17,292 --> 01:39:19,334 Whiteside: I WISH I WERE IN A POSITION-- 2416 01:39:19,417 --> 01:39:21,125 WELL, YOU'RE NOT IN A POSITION. 2417 01:39:21,209 --> 01:39:23,334 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, OFFICER. 2418 01:39:23,417 --> 01:39:25,292 HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOUR TROUBLE. 2419 01:39:25,375 --> 01:39:27,459 THANK YOU, SIR. GOOD DAY. 2420 01:39:27,542 --> 01:39:29,042 WILL YOU GO UPSTAIRS, RICHARD? 2421 01:39:35,834 --> 01:39:38,459 10 MINUTES, MR. WHITESIDE. 2422 01:39:38,542 --> 01:39:40,709 I'VE BROUGHT YOU SOME ORANGE JUICE, MR. WHITESIDE. 2423 01:39:40,792 --> 01:39:42,500 - FEELING ANY BETTER? - OH, SUPERB. 2424 01:39:42,584 --> 01:39:44,918 IS THERE ANY CYANIDE IN THIS ORANGE JUICE, JOHN? 2425 01:39:46,834 --> 01:39:48,292 OPEN THE DOOR, JOHN. IT'S PROBABLY 2426 01:39:48,375 --> 01:39:50,167 SOME MUSTARD GAS FROM AN OLD FRIEND. 2427 01:39:50,250 --> 01:39:52,542 YES, SIR. SAY, THAT CRAZY FELLA 2428 01:39:52,626 --> 01:39:54,042 MADE A GREAT HIT WITH SARAH. 2429 01:39:54,125 --> 01:39:56,667 HE WANTS TO GIVE HER A SCREEN TEST. 2430 01:39:58,042 --> 01:40:00,042 GOOD MORNING, JOHN. IS MR. WHITESIDE UP YET? 2431 01:40:00,125 --> 01:40:01,459 YES, MISS SHELDON. RIGHT THERE. 2432 01:40:01,542 --> 01:40:03,709 MERRY CHRISTMAS, DARLING. 2433 01:40:03,792 --> 01:40:06,375 I'VE COME TO HAVE CHRISTMAS BREAKFAST WITH YOU, MAY I? 2434 01:40:06,459 --> 01:40:09,250 OF COURSE, MY SPRITE. JOHN, A BREAKFAST TRAY FOR MISS SHELDON. 2435 01:40:09,334 --> 01:40:11,751 - YES, SIR. - MAKE IT ONE-MINUTE EGGS. 2436 01:40:11,834 --> 01:40:13,834 DARLING, I WAS SIMPLY SWEPT OFF MY FEET 2437 01:40:13,918 --> 01:40:15,792 BY THE PLAY. IT'S FANTASTICALLY GOOD. 2438 01:40:15,876 --> 01:40:17,292 SHERRY, IT'S THE KIND OF PART 2439 01:40:17,375 --> 01:40:19,083 THAT COMES ALONG ONCE IN 10 YEARS. 2440 01:40:19,167 --> 01:40:21,584 OH, I'M SO GRATEFUL TO YOU, DARLING. 2441 01:40:21,667 --> 01:40:22,918 THANK YOU, DEAR. 2442 01:40:23,000 --> 01:40:24,918 WHAT TIME ARE YOU LEAVING-- YOU AND JEFFERSON? 2443 01:40:25,000 --> 01:40:27,209 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 00, I THINK. 2444 01:40:27,292 --> 01:40:29,083 YOU KNOW, SHERRY, APART FROM EVERYTHING ELSE, 2445 01:40:29,167 --> 01:40:31,375 BERT IS REALLY A VERY ATTRACTIVE MAN. 2446 01:40:31,459 --> 01:40:33,167 IT WILL MAKE IT RATHER A PLEASURE 2447 01:40:33,250 --> 01:40:35,209 SQUARING ACCOUNTS WITH LITTLE MISS VITRIOL. 2448 01:40:35,292 --> 01:40:38,250 IN FACT, EVERYTHING HAS WORKED OUT BEAUTIFULLY. 2449 01:40:38,334 --> 01:40:39,959 SHERRY, LAMB, I WANT TO GIVE YOU 2450 01:40:40,042 --> 01:40:42,626 THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS PRESENT YOU'VE EVER HAD IN LIFE. 2451 01:40:42,709 --> 01:40:44,626 NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT? ANYTHING. 2452 01:40:44,709 --> 01:40:46,500 I'M SO DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY THAT-- 2453 01:40:48,500 --> 01:40:50,292 THAT SOUNDS LIKE BANJO. IS HE HERE? 2454 01:40:50,375 --> 01:40:51,542 HE IS, MY DEAR. 2455 01:40:51,626 --> 01:40:53,334 JUST THE FAMILY CIRCLE GATHERING FOR CHRISTMAS. 2456 01:40:53,417 --> 01:40:55,959 MY, HOW TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN. 2457 01:40:56,042 --> 01:40:58,000 HA HA HA! 2458 01:40:58,083 --> 01:41:00,667 HA HA HA-- 2459 01:41:00,751 --> 01:41:03,334 WHAT, WHO, AND ALL THAT SORT OF THING! 2460 01:41:03,417 --> 01:41:05,626 IF ISN'T LADY BOTTOMLY! 2461 01:41:05,709 --> 01:41:08,125 MY DEAR, YOU LOOK RIPPING-- 2462 01:41:08,209 --> 01:41:09,792 POSITIVELY RIPPING! 2463 01:41:09,876 --> 01:41:11,626 VERY FUNNY. IT'S TOO BAD, BANJO, 2464 01:41:11,709 --> 01:41:14,500 THAT YOUR PICTURES AREN'T AS FUNNY AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. 2465 01:41:14,584 --> 01:41:16,626 YOU'VE GOT ME THERE, LORRAINE. 2466 01:41:16,709 --> 01:41:20,209 YOU STILL GOT ANTS IN YOUR GLANCE. 2467 01:41:20,292 --> 01:41:22,292 HA HA HA! 2468 01:41:22,375 --> 01:41:23,667 ANYTHING IN THE WIND, WHITESIDE? 2469 01:41:23,751 --> 01:41:24,626 NOT A GLIMMER. 2470 01:41:24,709 --> 01:41:26,125 WHAT TIME DOES THE BOAT SAIL? 2471 01:41:26,209 --> 01:41:27,834 - 10 MINUTES. - WHAT BOAT IS THIS? 2472 01:41:27,918 --> 01:41:30,292 THE GOOD SHIP BEHIND THE EIGHTBALL. 2473 01:41:33,167 --> 01:41:35,667 I HAVE EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE NEW YEAR'S EVE BROADCAST. 2474 01:41:35,751 --> 01:41:37,209 ISN'T THERE A SCHEDULE ON THAT? 2475 01:41:37,292 --> 01:41:39,292 I THINK IT'S ON THAT TABLE THERE SOMEPLACE. 2476 01:41:39,375 --> 01:41:42,334 - THANK YOU. - NEW YEAR'S EVE? 2477 01:41:42,417 --> 01:41:44,834 OH, BERT AND I WILL HEAR IT FROM LAKE PLACID. 2478 01:41:44,918 --> 01:41:47,417 YOU'VE BEEN TO MY PLACE UP THERE, HAVEN'T YOU, SHERRY? 2479 01:41:47,500 --> 01:41:49,876 LOVELY, ISN'T IT? AWAY FROM EVERYTHING. 2480 01:41:49,959 --> 01:41:51,918 JUST SNOW AND CLEAR, COLD NIGHTS. 2481 01:41:53,375 --> 01:41:57,334 OH, THAT MUST BE BERT NOW. I TOLD HIM TO MEET ME HERE. 2482 01:41:57,417 --> 01:42:01,167 YOU KNOW, I'M RATHER LOOKING FORWARD TO LAKE PLACID. 2483 01:42:01,250 --> 01:42:02,542 BERT'S THE KIND OF MAN 2484 01:42:02,626 --> 01:42:04,834 WHO'LL DO ALL WINTER SPORTS BEAUTIFULLY. 2485 01:42:04,918 --> 01:42:07,042 WILL HE HAVE TIME? 2486 01:42:07,125 --> 01:42:10,083 WITH ALL THE REWRITING AND, UH... 2487 01:42:10,167 --> 01:42:11,918 FOR MR. WHITESIDE. 2488 01:42:12,042 --> 01:42:14,542 ALRIGHT, COME IN. RIGHT IN HERE. CAREFUL NOW. 2489 01:42:14,626 --> 01:42:15,584 YEAH, THIS THING'S VALUABLE. 2490 01:42:15,667 --> 01:42:17,584 THIS OLD DAME IS 2,000 YEARS OLD, 2491 01:42:17,667 --> 01:42:19,209 SHE'S IN BETTER SHAPE THAN ME. 2492 01:42:19,292 --> 01:42:22,209 John: FOR YOU, MR. WHITESIDE. 2493 01:42:23,209 --> 01:42:24,417 CAREFUL, NOW. 2494 01:42:26,834 --> 01:42:28,042 GREAT-AUNT MEHITABEL. 2495 01:42:28,125 --> 01:42:30,667 IF THERE WAS ONE THING I NEEDED AT THIS MOMENT, 2496 01:42:30,751 --> 01:42:31,918 IT WAS AN EGYPTIAN MUMMY. 2497 01:42:32,000 --> 01:42:35,000 "MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE KHEDIVE OF EGYPT." 2498 01:42:35,083 --> 01:42:36,500 WHAT DID YOU SEND HIM-- 2499 01:42:36,584 --> 01:42:37,792 GRANT'S TOMB? 2500 01:42:37,876 --> 01:42:39,959 5 MINUTES, MR. WHITESIDE... 2501 01:42:40,042 --> 01:42:42,459 INCLUDING THAT! 2502 01:42:43,083 --> 01:42:44,500 WHO'S THAT MAN? 2503 01:42:44,584 --> 01:42:47,250 HE ANNOUNCES THE TIME EVERY FEW MINUTES. 2504 01:42:47,334 --> 01:42:50,626 - I PAY HIM A SMALL SUM. - WHAT ON EARTH FOR, SHERRY? 2505 01:42:50,709 --> 01:42:52,792 I LOST MY WATCH! 2506 01:42:56,000 --> 01:42:58,167 OH, UH, MR. WHITESIDE, ARE YOU BUSY? 2507 01:42:58,250 --> 01:42:59,125 OH... 2508 01:42:59,209 --> 01:43:01,083 WELL, I'LL WAIT IN THE LIBRARY. 2509 01:43:01,167 --> 01:43:03,667 EXCUSE ME. OH. 2510 01:43:03,751 --> 01:43:05,959 HA HA HA! 2511 01:43:06,042 --> 01:43:07,584 IS THAT THE PLUMBER AGAIN, SHERRY? 2512 01:43:08,667 --> 01:43:10,626 OH, DEAR. I WONDER WHERE BERT IS. 2513 01:43:10,709 --> 01:43:12,459 DARLING, YOU'RE NOT VERY CHRISTMASSY. 2514 01:43:12,542 --> 01:43:14,792 YOU'RE USUALLY BUBBLING OVER ON CHRISTMAS MORNING. 2515 01:43:16,792 --> 01:43:18,083 WHO SENT YOU THIS, SHERRY-- 2516 01:43:18,167 --> 01:43:19,626 THE KHEDIVE OF EGYPT? 2517 01:43:19,709 --> 01:43:22,334 YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S RATHER BEAUTIFUL. 2518 01:43:22,417 --> 01:43:24,375 I MUST GO TO EGYPT SOMETIME. 2519 01:43:24,459 --> 01:43:26,626 I REALLY MUST. I KNOW I'D LOVE IT. 2520 01:43:26,709 --> 01:43:29,042 YOU KNOW, THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO POMPEII, 2521 01:43:29,125 --> 01:43:30,792 I CRIED ALL NIGHT. 2522 01:43:30,876 --> 01:43:34,417 ALL THOSE PEOPLE... ALL THOSE LIVES... 2523 01:43:34,500 --> 01:43:36,542 WHERE ARE THEY NOW? 2524 01:43:38,876 --> 01:43:40,918 HERE WAS A WOMAN LIKE MYSELF-- 2525 01:43:41,000 --> 01:43:43,459 A WOMAN WHO'D ONCE LIVED AND LOVED, 2526 01:43:43,542 --> 01:43:45,959 FULL OF THE SAME PASSIONS, FEARS, 2527 01:43:46,042 --> 01:43:47,959 JEALOUSIES, HATES. 2528 01:43:48,042 --> 01:43:49,959 WHAT REMAINS OF IT NOW? 2529 01:43:50,042 --> 01:43:51,792 JUST THIS. 2530 01:43:51,876 --> 01:43:53,876 NOTHING MORE. 2531 01:44:04,918 --> 01:44:07,042 A SPAN OF 4,000 YEARS-- 2532 01:44:07,125 --> 01:44:09,417 A MERE ATOM IN THE ETERNITY OF TIME-- 2533 01:44:09,500 --> 01:44:10,876 AND HERE AM I, 2534 01:44:10,959 --> 01:44:13,042 ANOTHER WOMAN LIVING OUT HER LIFE. 2535 01:44:13,125 --> 01:44:15,459 I WANT TO CRY. 2536 01:44:18,667 --> 01:44:20,417 OH, I MUSTN'T TALK LIKE THIS TODAY. 2537 01:44:20,500 --> 01:44:22,000 IT'S CHRISTMAS. IT'S CHRISTMAS! 2538 01:44:22,083 --> 01:44:24,000 LORRAINE, DEAR, HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED SAINT JOAN? 2539 01:44:24,083 --> 01:44:26,626 WHY, NO, I HAVEN'T, SHERRY. WHY DO YOU ASK THAT? 2540 01:44:26,709 --> 01:44:28,167 YOUR EXPRESSION AS YOU STOOD THERE. 2541 01:44:28,250 --> 01:44:30,000 THERE WAS AN ABSOLUTE HALO ABOUT YOU. 2542 01:44:30,083 --> 01:44:31,125 WHY, SHERRY, HOW SWEET. 2543 01:44:31,209 --> 01:44:32,375 IT TRANSCENDED ANY MORTAL EXPRESSION 2544 01:44:32,459 --> 01:44:34,500 I'VE EVER SEEN. STEP INTO IT AGAIN, DEAR. 2545 01:44:34,584 --> 01:44:36,000 NOW, SHERRY, YOU'RE JOSHING ME. 2546 01:44:36,083 --> 01:44:39,167 OH, I DON'T MAKE LIGHT OF THESE THINGS. I WAS DEEPLY MOVED. 2547 01:44:39,250 --> 01:44:41,417 THERE WAS A STRANGE BEAUTY ABOUT YOU, LORRAINE-- 2548 01:44:41,500 --> 01:44:43,626 PURE DAVINCI. PLEASE DO IT AGAIN, DEAR. 2549 01:44:43,709 --> 01:44:46,000 WELL, I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I DID, 2550 01:44:46,083 --> 01:44:47,876 BUT I'LL--I'LL TRY. 2551 01:44:58,375 --> 01:45:00,083 OH, NO, SHERRY. I FEEL TOO SILLY. 2552 01:45:00,167 --> 01:45:02,876 OH, NO, NO. DEAR, IN THAT SINGLE INSTANCE, 2553 01:45:02,959 --> 01:45:04,667 YOU APPROACHED THE EPITOME OF YOUR ART, 2554 01:45:04,751 --> 01:45:06,375 YOU SHOULD'NT BE ASHAMED OF IT. 2555 01:45:06,459 --> 01:45:09,000 YOU ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED FOR A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 2556 01:45:09,083 --> 01:45:10,417 ALL THAT I WANT, LORRAINE, 2557 01:45:10,500 --> 01:45:15,000 IS THE MEMORY OF YOU IN THAT MUMMY CASE. 2558 01:45:15,083 --> 01:45:17,459 WHY, SHERRY, I'M ALL CHOKED UP. 2559 01:45:32,959 --> 01:45:35,834 DUST THOU ART, AND DUST TO DUST-- 2560 01:45:35,918 --> 01:45:37,417 BANJO! 2561 01:45:37,500 --> 01:45:38,626 EUREKA! 2562 01:45:38,709 --> 01:45:41,751 HA HA HA! THERE'S SERVICE FOR YOU. 2563 01:45:41,834 --> 01:45:43,250 WILL SHE BE ALRIGHT IN THERE? 2564 01:45:43,334 --> 01:45:44,792 SURE. SHE CAN BREATHE EASY. 2565 01:45:44,876 --> 01:45:48,667 I'LL LET HER OUT AS SOON AS WE GET ON THE PLANE. CUTE KID. 2566 01:45:48,751 --> 01:45:50,918 SAY, HOW DO WE GET THIS OUT OF HERE? 2567 01:45:51,000 --> 01:45:53,250 ONE THING AT A TIME. THAT'S THE NEXT STEP! 2568 01:45:53,334 --> 01:45:55,876 THINK FAST, MR. MOTO. THINK FAST. 2569 01:45:55,959 --> 01:45:57,500 LOOK OUT. HERE. 2570 01:46:01,417 --> 01:46:04,250 THIS IS EVERYTHING. I'M LEAVING 3 CARBONS. 2571 01:46:04,334 --> 01:46:07,083 CHRISTMAS CARD FROM THE HEAD GUY OF EGYPT. 2572 01:46:07,167 --> 01:46:09,083 ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU HERE? 2573 01:46:09,167 --> 01:46:10,334 WHAT'S IN THIS BASKET? 2574 01:46:10,417 --> 01:46:11,876 NO, NOTHING AT ALL, THANK YOU. 2575 01:46:11,959 --> 01:46:14,250 OH, ELEANOR ROOSEVELT-- DID YOU CALL HER IN ATLANTA? 2576 01:46:14,334 --> 01:46:15,959 YES, BUT SHE'D ALREADY LEFT FOR WASHINGTON, 2577 01:46:16,042 --> 01:46:19,417 I LEFT A MESSAGE AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR HER TO CALL YOU. 2578 01:46:19,500 --> 01:46:20,918 DO YOU WANT THESE LETTERS FILED? 2579 01:46:21,000 --> 01:46:23,292 - NO. THROW EVERYTHING. - YOU WANT THIS PICTURE? 2580 01:46:23,375 --> 01:46:25,250 NO. OH, YES, WAIT. I WANT THE PICTURE. 2581 01:46:25,334 --> 01:46:27,500 I'VE DONE EVERYTHING BUT PUT YOUR BROADCAST IN ORDER. 2582 01:46:27,584 --> 01:46:30,626 - DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT? - YES, DO THAT RIGHT AWAY. 2583 01:46:30,709 --> 01:46:33,500 - IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. - I'LL SEE YOU BEFORE I GO. 2584 01:46:37,876 --> 01:46:40,459 I GOT IT! I KNEW I'D SEEN THIS FACE BEFORE. 2585 01:46:40,542 --> 01:46:43,334 - NOW I KNOW HOW TO GET HER OUT. - WHAT FACE? HOW? 2586 01:46:43,417 --> 01:46:45,083 THE TIME IS UP, MR. WHITESIDE--15 MINUTES-- 2587 01:46:45,167 --> 01:46:48,459 GLAD TO SEE YOU UP. IT'LL SAVE ME HAVING YOU THROWN OUT. 2588 01:46:48,542 --> 01:46:50,417 JUST ONE SLIGHT FAVOR BEFORE YOU LEAVE. 2589 01:46:50,500 --> 01:46:53,250 I'D LIKE YOU TO SUMMON THOSE OFFICERS, ASK THEM TO HELP 2590 01:46:53,334 --> 01:46:55,042 TO THE AIRPORT WITH THIS MUMMY CASE. 2591 01:46:55,125 --> 01:46:57,542 WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH TO DO THAT, MR. STANLEY? 2592 01:46:57,626 --> 01:47:01,000 - I'LL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND. - OH, I THINK YOU WILL. 2593 01:47:01,083 --> 01:47:03,042 OR SHALL I INFORM MY RADIO AUDIENCE 2594 01:47:03,125 --> 01:47:05,751 ON MY NEXT BROADCAST 2595 01:47:05,834 --> 01:47:07,375 THAT YOUR SISTER HARRIET STANLEY 2596 01:47:07,459 --> 01:47:09,417 IS NONE OTHER THAN THE FAMOUS HARRIET SEDLEY, 2597 01:47:09,500 --> 01:47:11,667 WHO MURDERED HER MOTHER AND FATHER WITH AN AXE 2598 01:47:11,751 --> 01:47:13,626 25 YEARS AGO IN GLOUCESTER, MASSACHUSETTS? 2599 01:47:13,709 --> 01:47:15,918 OH, COME, MR. STANLEY, IT'S A VERY SMALL FAVOR, 2600 01:47:16,000 --> 01:47:18,500 OR WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE THE GOOD FOLK OF MESALIA 2601 01:47:18,584 --> 01:47:19,792 REPEATING AT YOUR VERY DOORSTEP 2602 01:47:19,876 --> 01:47:22,459 THAT ONCE-POPULAR LITTLE JINGLE-- 2603 01:47:22,542 --> 01:47:24,334 "HARRIET SEDLEY TOOK AN AXE 2604 01:47:24,417 --> 01:47:26,834 "AND GAVE HER MOTHER 40 WHACKS, 2605 01:47:26,918 --> 01:47:29,209 "AND WHEN THE JOB WAS NICELY DONE, 2606 01:47:29,292 --> 01:47:31,792 SHE GAVE HER FATHER 41." 2607 01:47:31,876 --> 01:47:33,626 HA HA! OH, NO, NO, MR. STANLEY. 2608 01:47:33,709 --> 01:47:35,125 I, TOO, AM GIVING UP SOMETHING. 2609 01:47:35,209 --> 01:47:37,834 IT WOULD MAKE A WHALE OF A BROADCAST. 2610 01:47:37,918 --> 01:47:40,834 MR. WHITESIDE, YOU ARE A DEVIL. 2611 01:47:40,918 --> 01:47:43,083 I OFTEN THINK SO MYSELF, OLD FELLOW. 2612 01:47:43,167 --> 01:47:45,292 SHE GAVE HER MOTHER 40 WHACKS. 2613 01:47:45,375 --> 01:47:47,292 HOW THE DODGERS COULD HAVE USED HER. 2614 01:47:47,375 --> 01:47:49,542 COME RIGHT IN, OFFICERS. MR. STANLEY WOULD LIKE YOU 2615 01:47:49,626 --> 01:47:52,375 TO HELP THIS GENTLEMAN TO THE AIRPORT WITH THIS MUMMY CASE. 2616 01:47:52,459 --> 01:47:54,709 HE'S SENDING IT TO A FRIEND IN NOVA SCOTIA. 2617 01:47:54,792 --> 01:47:56,375 - Banjo: COLLECT! - Whiteside: RIGHT, MR. STANLEY? 2618 01:47:56,459 --> 01:47:57,918 YES. YES! 2619 01:47:58,000 --> 01:47:59,209 THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN, 2620 01:47:59,292 --> 01:48:00,918 AND HANDLE THAT VERY CAREFULLY, PLEASE. 2621 01:48:01,000 --> 01:48:02,667 BANJO, MY LAD, YOU'RE WONDERFUL. 2622 01:48:02,751 --> 01:48:06,334 - I MAY WRITE A BOOK ABOUT YOU. - DON'T BOTHER. I CAN'T READ. 2623 01:48:06,417 --> 01:48:09,959 GOOD-BYE, MAGGIE. LOVE CONQUERS ALL. 2624 01:48:10,042 --> 01:48:12,542 HERE'S A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR YOU. 2625 01:48:12,626 --> 01:48:15,876 TAKE IT EASY. DON'T DROP THAT CASE, BOYS. 2626 01:48:15,959 --> 01:48:17,709 IT CONTAINS A JEWEL... 2627 01:48:17,792 --> 01:48:20,792 SLIGHTLY TARNISHED. HA HA! 2628 01:48:20,876 --> 01:48:23,667 WHITESIDE, I'LL LOAD IT UP WITH SMOKED SALMON 2629 01:48:23,751 --> 01:48:25,584 AND SHIP IT BACK TO YOU. HA HA! 2630 01:48:32,792 --> 01:48:35,250 SHERRY, SHERRY, WAS THAT-- 2631 01:48:35,334 --> 01:48:36,417 IT WAS INDEED. 2632 01:48:36,500 --> 01:48:38,959 THE FIELD IS CLEAR, AND YOU HAVE MY BLESSING. 2633 01:48:39,042 --> 01:48:40,876 OH, YOU OLD REPROBATE. 2634 01:48:40,959 --> 01:48:42,375 JUST SEND ME A NECKTIE SOMETIME. 2635 01:48:42,459 --> 01:48:44,918 MY HAT AND COAT, PLEASE. I'M LEAVING FOR NEW YORK. 2636 01:48:45,000 --> 01:48:46,876 - WELL, WHAT-- - DON'T ARGUE, RAT GIRL. 2637 01:48:46,959 --> 01:48:51,292 - DO AS YOU ARE TOLD. - YES, MR. WHITESIDE. 2638 01:48:51,375 --> 01:48:53,042 Whiteside: SARAH! JOHN! 2639 01:48:58,792 --> 01:49:00,751 MAGGIE. MAGGIE, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. 2640 01:49:00,834 --> 01:49:02,584 OH, DON'T GIVE IT A THOUGHT, BERT. 2641 01:49:02,667 --> 01:49:04,334 THERE'S BEEN A SLIGHT CHANGE IN PLANS. 2642 01:49:04,417 --> 01:49:06,334 LA SHELDON HAS DEPARTED FOR PARTS UNKNOWN, 2643 01:49:06,417 --> 01:49:09,918 AND I'M GOING TO SEE THAT SHERRY GIVES YOUR PLAY TO CORNELL. 2644 01:49:10,000 --> 01:49:11,375 MAGGIE! 2645 01:49:11,459 --> 01:49:15,125 HOW WOULD YOU TWO LIKE TO COME TO NEW YORK AND WORK FOR ME? 2646 01:49:15,209 --> 01:49:16,209 THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! 2647 01:49:16,292 --> 01:49:17,626 WE'D LOVE IT. 2648 01:49:17,709 --> 01:49:19,125 AH, THANK YOU, MAGGIE, MY DARLING. 2649 01:49:19,209 --> 01:49:21,751 MR. WHITESIDE, MY COOK AND MY BUTLER-- 2650 01:49:21,834 --> 01:49:23,751 THEY'VE BEEN WITH ME FOR 10 YEARS! 2651 01:49:23,834 --> 01:49:25,083 I'M COMMUTING THEIR SENTENCE. 2652 01:49:25,167 --> 01:49:27,584 IF YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND EVER COME TO NEW YORK, 2653 01:49:27,667 --> 01:49:31,000 YOU CAN COME TO MY PLACE FOR DINNER... IF I'M NOT IN TOWN. 2654 01:49:31,083 --> 01:49:32,792 OH, MR. WHITESIDE, ARE YOU VERY BUSY? 2655 01:49:32,876 --> 01:49:34,125 OH, YES, DOCTOR, VERY BUSY, 2656 01:49:34,209 --> 01:49:38,125 IF YOU EVER COME TO NEW YORK, TRY AND FIND ME. 2657 01:49:38,209 --> 01:49:40,500 GOODBYE, MY LAMB. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. 2658 01:49:40,584 --> 01:49:43,500 - SHERRY, YOU'RE WONDERFUL. - NONSENSE. GOODBYE, JEFFERSON. 2659 01:49:43,584 --> 01:49:45,417 YOU'LL NEVER KNOW THE TROUBLE YOU'VE CAUSED. 2660 01:49:45,500 --> 01:49:46,459 Bert: GOODBYE, MR. WHITESIDE. 2661 01:49:46,542 --> 01:49:48,083 GOODBYE, MR. STANLEY. 2662 01:49:48,167 --> 01:49:51,125 I'D LIKE TO HEAR THAT YOUR DAUGHTER MARRIED HER YOUNG MAN 2663 01:49:51,209 --> 01:49:54,500 AND YOUR SON HAD BEEN PERMITTED TO FOLLOW HIS OWN BENT... 2664 01:49:54,584 --> 01:49:56,834 OR ELSE. 2665 01:49:56,918 --> 01:49:58,167 WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE PENGUINS, 2666 01:49:58,250 --> 01:49:59,709 THE OCTOPUS, THE BABY SEAL, 2667 01:49:59,792 --> 01:50:01,250 AND THE REST OF THE MENAGERIE? 2668 01:50:01,334 --> 01:50:05,000 THEY'RE ALL YOURS, MR. STANLEY. 2669 01:50:06,834 --> 01:50:08,167 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY! 2670 01:50:08,250 --> 01:50:09,959 All: MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. WHITESIDE. 2671 01:50:10,042 --> 01:50:11,709 WHAT IS ALL THIS? WHERE'S HE GOING? 2672 01:50:11,792 --> 01:50:14,167 - I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD WALK. - IT'S ALRIGHT. 2673 01:50:18,834 --> 01:50:20,959 HELLO. 2674 01:50:21,042 --> 01:50:22,667 MRS. ROOSEVELT?! 2675 01:50:22,751 --> 01:50:24,500 ELEANOR ROOSEVELT? 2676 01:50:24,584 --> 01:50:26,626 OH, JUST A MOMENT PLEASE! 2677 01:50:26,709 --> 01:50:28,417 MR. WHITESIDE! 2678 01:50:28,500 --> 01:50:30,584 OH, MRS. ROOSEVELT, I WANT YOU TO KNOW 2679 01:50:30,667 --> 01:50:32,709 MY HUSBAND DIDN'T VOTE FOR YOUR HUSBAND 2680 01:50:32,792 --> 01:50:34,417 BUT I DID. 2681 01:50:34,500 --> 01:50:36,500 OH, YOU'RE WELCOME, I'M SURE, 2682 01:50:36,584 --> 01:50:40,125 AND I'D LOVE TO VOTE FOR YOUR HUSBAND AGAIN SOMETIME. 2683 01:50:40,209 --> 01:50:42,209 OH. HA HA! MRS. ROOSEVELT. 2684 01:50:55,709 --> 01:50:56,918 OH, MR. WHITESIDE! 2685 01:50:57,000 --> 01:50:58,626 MRS. ROOSEVELT'S ON THE PHONE. 2686 01:50:58,709 --> 01:51:01,334 WHAT--ELEANOR? 2687 01:51:01,417 --> 01:51:03,876 OW! 2688 01:51:03,959 --> 01:51:06,042 Whiteside: I'VE DONE IT AGAIN! OH, MY LEG! 2689 01:51:06,125 --> 01:51:07,167 SHERRY! 2690 01:51:07,250 --> 01:51:09,292 BERT! JOHN! SHERRY'S FALLEN! 2691 01:51:09,375 --> 01:51:11,042 WHAT IS IT, MAGGIE? SOMETHING'S HAPPENED? 2692 01:51:11,125 --> 01:51:14,083 PERHAPS HE FELL AGAIN. 2693 01:51:14,167 --> 01:51:16,250 OH... 2694 01:51:16,334 --> 01:51:18,125 OH, I'M HURT! I'LL HAVE A-- 2695 01:51:18,209 --> 01:51:19,918 MISS PREEN. MISS PREEN! 2696 01:51:20,000 --> 01:51:22,250 I WANT MISS PREEN! HELP ME UP. 2697 01:51:22,334 --> 01:51:25,209 OH! OH, MY! MAGGIE! OH! 2698 01:51:25,292 --> 01:51:26,834 WHAT'S THE MATTER? HAS SOMETHING HAPPENED? 2699 01:51:26,918 --> 01:51:28,083 IS ANYTHING WRONG DOWN HERE? 2700 01:51:28,167 --> 01:51:30,167 Whiteside: MISS PREEN! I WANT MISS PREEN BACK! 2701 01:51:30,250 --> 01:51:34,167 MR. STANLEY, I AM SUING YOU FOR $350,000! 2702 01:51:34,250 --> 01:51:35,375 OH, WHERE'S THE DOCTOR? 2703 01:51:37,292 --> 01:51:38,792 OH, DOCTOR, I'VE GOT A PAIN. 2704 01:51:38,876 --> 01:51:40,417 OH, THIS IS AWFUL. 2705 01:51:40,500 --> 01:51:41,834 OH! 2706 01:51:48,834 --> 01:51:51,918 Eleanor Roosevelt: HELLO? HELLO, HELLO! OH, DEAR. 2707 01:51:52,000 --> 01:51:54,083 SOMETHING MUST HAVE HAPPENED TO SHERRY. 2708 01:51:54,167 --> 01:51:56,083 OPERATOR. OPERATOR!