1 00:01:25,198 --> 00:01:28,223 Lackawanna 8-799. 2 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,374 Hello. Hello. 3 00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:42,875 I'm so afraid to close my eyes 4 00:01:43,045 --> 00:01:44,341 Afraid that I'll find 5 00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:49,607 - That was mighty pretty, honey. - Oh, hello. 6 00:01:50,317 --> 00:01:53,945 Say, are you doing anything tomorrow after the matinee? 7 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,610 - No. - How would you like to get married? 8 00:01:56,789 --> 00:02:00,189 - Well, you got someone in mind? - Yes. Me. 9 00:02:00,358 --> 00:02:03,691 Well, best offer I had today. Suppose I think it over? 10 00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:06,124 All right, you take your time. I'll hold on. 11 00:02:06,296 --> 00:02:08,024 OK. 12 00:02:08,197 --> 00:02:14,499 This lovely thrill is just a silly illusion 13 00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:20,065 With my eyes wide open 14 00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:27,843 Do I deserve such a break? 15 00:02:34,017 --> 00:02:35,484 You know, I think I can make it. 16 00:02:35,652 --> 00:02:39,451 Good. Oh, by the way, what was that name again? 17 00:02:39,621 --> 00:02:42,214 - Miller. Bill Miller. - Oh, how nice. 18 00:02:42,390 --> 00:02:44,721 - Well, good night, Mr. Miller. - Now, one minute. 19 00:02:45,325 --> 00:02:48,226 - Who are you? - Well, I'm Mary Turner. 20 00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:51,894 Good night, darling. See you in church. 21 00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:54,054 See you in church. 22 00:03:07,242 --> 00:03:09,471 Mighty pretty. Mighty pretty. 23 00:03:09,643 --> 00:03:11,668 Thank you, sir. 24 00:03:13,079 --> 00:03:15,479 The agent's slice, Leo. The usual ten percent. 25 00:03:15,648 --> 00:03:18,411 Looks like a small cut to me. 26 00:03:18,584 --> 00:03:20,643 - Hello, Mary. - Hi, honey. 27 00:03:20,953 --> 00:03:25,013 And to you and Mary, the best of luck, forever and a day. 28 00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:27,656 - I'll miss you, Bill. - I'm gonna miss you too, Ben. 29 00:03:27,824 --> 00:03:29,313 You've been swell. We had great years. 30 00:03:29,492 --> 00:03:32,427 Why the gloom, boys? This is a wedding, not a wake. 31 00:03:32,595 --> 00:03:35,961 For the act, it's a wake. Bill's leaving. 32 00:03:36,598 --> 00:03:39,293 Well, I want to play the big time on my own, as a single. 33 00:03:39,466 --> 00:03:41,093 Oh, is that so? 34 00:03:41,268 --> 00:03:44,759 I tell you, you're out of your head, quitting a great comic like Ben Bailey. 35 00:03:44,937 --> 00:03:46,631 I did a single before. 36 00:03:46,805 --> 00:03:48,466 I know a lot more now. I've learned from Ben. 37 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,936 Listen, Bill, 38 00:03:50,107 --> 00:03:53,099 when I found you in Scranton, you were making a fast 60. 39 00:03:53,277 --> 00:03:56,006 You had those flashy two-pants suits and ragged underwear. 40 00:03:56,179 --> 00:03:58,078 Who got you to play that chest piano? 41 00:03:58,247 --> 00:04:00,613 Who built you up to 1250? 42 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,908 Who bought you your first tuxedo? 43 00:04:03,084 --> 00:04:05,018 - I did! - Bill, 44 00:04:05,186 --> 00:04:07,346 the trick in show business is to be a hit. 45 00:04:07,521 --> 00:04:11,012 With another guy, with a girl, with a kangaroo, anything. 46 00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:13,953 Look, you're my friend, but I don't think you can make it alone. 47 00:04:14,125 --> 00:04:17,117 Now, don't try to talk me out of it, boys. I'm gonna start again in Scranton. 48 00:04:17,295 --> 00:04:21,196 Alone. If I have anything, I'll be back here again, alone. 49 00:04:21,365 --> 00:04:23,264 My name will be on top, alone. 50 00:04:23,432 --> 00:04:25,764 Maybe you should have got married, alone. 51 00:04:25,935 --> 00:04:29,131 I don't think you can stand two talented people in the same family. 52 00:04:29,304 --> 00:04:31,237 I'm sorry, fellas. I'm doing a single. 53 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,396 A singing, dancing, talking comedian. 54 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,542 I love you, Leo, but since an hour ago, I have a wife to take care of. 55 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,499 I gotta start sometime. 56 00:04:38,677 --> 00:04:40,577 OK. Start. 57 00:04:40,746 --> 00:04:44,237 Well, what do you say, Leo, do I make any sense? 58 00:04:44,482 --> 00:04:47,644 If you really mean what you just said, you make sense. 59 00:04:47,817 --> 00:04:50,580 I think any man has a right to do what he wants to... 60 00:04:50,753 --> 00:04:53,347 ...providing he doesn't hurt anyone. 61 00:04:53,522 --> 00:04:55,887 But you've got to have material, jokes. 62 00:04:56,057 --> 00:04:58,957 Well, I have Al Borden writing an act for me right now. 63 00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:01,151 He's the greatest gagman in America. 64 00:05:01,328 --> 00:05:03,192 - You think so? - I do. 65 00:05:03,362 --> 00:05:05,626 That makes two of you. You and Al. 66 00:05:05,798 --> 00:05:07,924 Now, look, Leo, will you leave that to me? 67 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:12,159 All I want you to do is get the bookings and you can start now. 68 00:05:14,837 --> 00:05:16,862 Oh, there you are. Say, isn't there something 69 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,507 about the groom dancing with the bride on their wedding day? 70 00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:23,633 I'll bet you made that up. Will you excuse us, Leo? 71 00:05:29,249 --> 00:05:31,239 - Well, Al Borden! - Congratulations. 72 00:05:31,417 --> 00:05:33,977 Glad you came. Excuse me, will you, honey? 73 00:05:34,153 --> 00:05:36,313 Say, are you serious? You just got married. 74 00:05:36,487 --> 00:05:39,785 Thank you, Mr. Borden, for my first wedding present. 75 00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:41,818 Leo. 76 00:05:41,992 --> 00:05:45,620 - Mary needs a partner. - Mary isn't the only one. 77 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:48,228 Al, listen... 78 00:05:50,599 --> 00:05:52,498 You don't think he's doing the right thing, do you? 79 00:05:52,666 --> 00:05:54,293 You mean quitting Ben? 80 00:05:54,468 --> 00:05:56,697 As an agent, no. 81 00:05:57,236 --> 00:05:59,295 As a friend... 82 00:05:59,504 --> 00:06:02,803 And what about me leaving Sutherland? 83 00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:04,674 Mary... 84 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:08,470 ...you leaving Sutherland after all your hard work? And mine? 85 00:06:08,645 --> 00:06:11,136 Bill doesn't want me to work anymore. 86 00:06:13,449 --> 00:06:16,713 Love, he can handle, but I wish he'd leave the business end of it to me. 87 00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:19,818 You'll keep on looking out for him, won't you, Leo? 88 00:06:20,053 --> 00:06:22,886 For ten percent, I'd look after my own mother-in-law. 89 00:06:28,893 --> 00:06:31,794 Well, I wouldn't say she had buckteeth, but she was the only girl I knew 90 00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:34,624 that could eat an apple through a picket fence. 91 00:06:35,499 --> 00:06:37,398 That was funny. 92 00:06:39,135 --> 00:06:40,624 And so I said to the fellow, 93 00:06:40,802 --> 00:06:44,293 "If that's your wife, buddy, you're in a lot of trouble." 94 00:06:45,039 --> 00:06:46,301 That was funny, wasn't it? 95 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:49,567 - Yeah, that was funny 20 years ago. - Well, don't worry. 96 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,200 Once Bill starts to warm them up, the audience will really go. 97 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:56,870 They're going now. Out of the theater. 98 00:06:57,582 --> 00:06:59,072 "Short, short story. 99 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,615 "Ben Bailey broke in new partner, 100 00:07:01,785 --> 00:07:04,776 "socko Baltimore, ditto Boston, ditto Washington." 101 00:07:04,954 --> 00:07:06,854 Here's the important part: 102 00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:09,756 "Bill Miller, single, 12 minutes. 103 00:07:09,924 --> 00:07:12,256 "Lays egg in Newark, 104 00:07:12,427 --> 00:07:15,293 "ditto Camden, ditto Wilkes-Barre, ditto Scranton." 105 00:07:15,462 --> 00:07:17,725 - That wiseacre! I'll call those guys... - Shut up! 106 00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:19,797 - What? - I said, shut up. 107 00:07:19,966 --> 00:07:23,093 You've got yourself in a spot because you got a swellhead. 108 00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,996 Some fairy godmother must have whispered to you 109 00:07:25,169 --> 00:07:27,865 and told you that you don't need nobody. 110 00:07:28,039 --> 00:07:30,768 Well, you better stop listening to pixies and listen to your agent. 111 00:07:30,940 --> 00:07:33,271 You're not a single, you never will be. 112 00:07:33,442 --> 00:07:35,774 You're a nice guy, and you got talent, and you got a nice wife, 113 00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:38,638 but you're gonna blow them all off if you don't start listening! 114 00:07:39,414 --> 00:07:41,404 Want to hear what's wrong with your act? 115 00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:44,049 Well, sit down, because I'm gonna tell you. 116 00:07:44,217 --> 00:07:47,845 You think that you can come out and sing and be cute. 117 00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,486 Well, cute songs are a nickel a dozen. 118 00:07:49,654 --> 00:07:53,180 You need a new opening. A comedy song and two funny stories. 119 00:07:53,357 --> 00:07:56,155 Not those broken-down jokes from Al Borden. 120 00:07:56,326 --> 00:07:58,725 And a finish. Did you ever hear about that? 121 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,760 A "San Francisco" finish. 122 00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:03,489 Cohan did it with a flag. It's the most important thing of all! 123 00:08:03,665 --> 00:08:07,930 - Well, it's easy to tell me about it. - Yeah? Well, here's how you do it. 124 00:08:08,569 --> 00:08:10,763 You go down to any music publishing house, 125 00:08:10,937 --> 00:08:12,666 and you get one of those schnook song pluggers. 126 00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:15,170 You put him out in the audience, then you introduce him. 127 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,807 - But I don't want any... - Yes, there you go again! 128 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,876 He's not your partner, he's a stooge! 129 00:08:21,412 --> 00:08:22,878 All you have to say is, 130 00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:25,412 "Ladies and gentlemen, we're very lucky to have in the audience 131 00:08:25,582 --> 00:08:28,982 "this afternoon a Mr. Sam Jones or Mr. Bruce Anybody, 132 00:08:29,151 --> 00:08:32,381 "the author of that big song hit, 'Your Father's Mustache' 133 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,884 "or 'Your Uncle's Pistol'." 134 00:08:34,054 --> 00:08:37,649 Then you roust the guy around. The audience laughs. It's sock. 135 00:08:37,824 --> 00:08:39,189 You think that'll be good? 136 00:08:39,358 --> 00:08:41,758 What do you want, a sworn affidavit? 137 00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:45,129 I'll call Sam Robertson and get you a guy. 138 00:08:45,530 --> 00:08:47,463 Now, get out of here, I'm busy. 139 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,158 Hello? 140 00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:54,495 Hello, Leo. 141 00:08:54,670 --> 00:08:56,467 Yeah. Song plugger? 142 00:08:56,638 --> 00:08:59,333 Oh, no, Leo, I need all I've got. 143 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,772 Wait a minute, Leo, wait a minute. 144 00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,380 I think I've got just the boy for you. 145 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,912 Yes. Oh, you'll love this kid. 146 00:09:13,084 --> 00:09:16,712 Sure, you can pay him what I pay him, 15 dollars a week. 147 00:09:16,954 --> 00:09:20,787 Yeah, he loves to sing and he's smart as a whip. 148 00:09:20,957 --> 00:09:22,322 That's right. 149 00:09:22,491 --> 00:09:25,392 OK, Leo. Goodbye. 150 00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:28,551 Miss Reagan, 151 00:09:28,729 --> 00:09:30,821 what did that idiot do this time? 152 00:09:30,997 --> 00:09:32,396 He dropped a stack of records. 153 00:09:32,565 --> 00:09:34,691 - Is he bleeding? - No, I don't think so. 154 00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:36,334 Oh, too bad. 155 00:09:36,502 --> 00:09:39,368 Well, anyway, I think we're going to lose him. 156 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,600 You mean they're gonna come and take him away? 157 00:09:41,773 --> 00:09:45,105 No, but I've just put over the biggest business deal of my career. 158 00:09:45,709 --> 00:09:47,801 - Where is he? - He's on his lunch hour. 159 00:09:47,977 --> 00:09:49,945 He's allowed 30 minutes. 160 00:09:50,112 --> 00:09:53,308 Well, take his head out of the feedbag and tell him I want to see him. 161 00:09:53,481 --> 00:09:55,846 He's very insistent on that full half-hour. 162 00:09:56,016 --> 00:09:58,314 He puts great stress on proper nourishment. 163 00:09:58,485 --> 00:10:00,452 You tell him I want to see him right away! 164 00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:02,281 - Yes, sir. - Miss Reagan. 165 00:10:02,455 --> 00:10:05,218 Tell me the truth. Do you honestly think he's human? 166 00:10:05,891 --> 00:10:08,484 I've heard people bet both ways. 167 00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:25,570 Stick around, mister. There'll be a spot in just a minute. 168 00:10:25,739 --> 00:10:27,104 Never mind. 169 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,339 I would like to have... 170 00:10:32,811 --> 00:10:34,506 Could I...? 171 00:10:37,181 --> 00:10:39,149 Could I get a...? 172 00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:42,712 I would like to have a... A glass... 173 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,183 What'll it be, bud? 174 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,344 Oh, I'd like a glass of hot water, please. 175 00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:51,790 - Hot water. - Yeah. 176 00:11:05,635 --> 00:11:06,932 Thank you. 177 00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:09,400 - What'll you have with it? - Oh, that's all. 178 00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,096 That's all? 179 00:11:11,273 --> 00:11:15,072 - Just hot water? - Yeah, I want it for my tea. 180 00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:29,016 You've got a nerve. 181 00:11:29,186 --> 00:11:32,314 Driving away my customers and making your own tea! 182 00:11:32,488 --> 00:11:34,479 Now, get out here! Beat it! 183 00:11:34,657 --> 00:11:38,148 You take your hands off me! I'll pay you for the hot water, here's a nickel. 184 00:11:38,427 --> 00:11:40,395 Now, get out of here and quit taking up space! 185 00:11:40,562 --> 00:11:42,756 Don't you put your hands on me! I'll call a policeman! 186 00:11:42,930 --> 00:11:44,988 I paid for the hot water and this a public restaurant 187 00:11:45,165 --> 00:11:48,157 and I've got a perfect right to sit here. That's the law. 188 00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:49,733 - The law? - You heard me. 189 00:11:49,902 --> 00:11:52,530 Look it up yourself in the code book of the City of New York! 190 00:11:52,705 --> 00:11:55,298 Article nine, paragraph six, revised. 191 00:11:55,473 --> 00:11:59,408 And I got friends on the force. Don't you give me no trouble. 192 00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:03,174 Excuse me. 193 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,820 Well... 194 00:12:16,222 --> 00:12:17,882 ...you got everything. 195 00:12:18,056 --> 00:12:20,889 That saves me a lot of trouble. 196 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,621 Yeah, my mother makes my lunch every morning, 197 00:12:24,795 --> 00:12:27,058 so I don't ruin my stomach in these sloppy hash houses. 198 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:30,596 Don't you touch me, I got friends on the force! 199 00:12:45,144 --> 00:12:46,872 Thank you. 200 00:12:50,915 --> 00:12:52,849 I don't use pepper. 201 00:12:58,253 --> 00:12:59,652 Sugar? 202 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,550 Oh, thank you. I beg your pardon. 203 00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:08,725 Cream or lemon? 204 00:13:08,895 --> 00:13:10,361 Oh, I always use cream. 205 00:13:10,529 --> 00:13:12,861 - Cream. - But don't bother. I brung my own. 206 00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:02,531 I'm just trying to be helpful. 207 00:14:02,768 --> 00:14:05,635 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 208 00:14:07,706 --> 00:14:09,469 That sandwich. 209 00:14:09,741 --> 00:14:12,709 Wouldn't you like me to toast it for you? 210 00:14:12,876 --> 00:14:14,776 Oh, would you? 211 00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:19,804 That's it! 212 00:14:29,222 --> 00:14:31,849 Oh, you broke the whole hand! You deformed me! 213 00:14:32,024 --> 00:14:34,424 Now, I won't be able to play with the other children! 214 00:14:34,593 --> 00:14:37,857 What are you yapping about? You still got four fingers left. 215 00:14:38,096 --> 00:14:41,121 Yeah, but when I grow up, I might want to play the piano, maybe. 216 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:43,232 You're running a very unsanitary establishment. 217 00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:45,993 You can rest assured, I'm going to report you to the Board of Health! 218 00:14:46,168 --> 00:14:48,192 Ted! I've been looking all over for you! 219 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:50,270 Mr. Robertson wants to see you right away. Come on. 220 00:14:50,438 --> 00:14:51,699 Why didn't you find me sooner? 221 00:14:51,872 --> 00:14:55,433 I'm never coming back here again! You just lost a customer! 222 00:14:58,111 --> 00:15:01,409 Oh, Ted, here's that phonograph handle you wanted. 223 00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:05,379 Oh, thanks, Duzik. I'll give you the money for it on payday. Miss Reagan... 224 00:15:05,549 --> 00:15:08,642 Hurry up. You're three minutes past your half-hour. 225 00:15:08,818 --> 00:15:10,342 - Yeah, but Miss Reagan... - Ted! 226 00:15:23,996 --> 00:15:27,932 I'm sorry, Mr. Robertson. I'll give you the money for it on payday. 227 00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:32,865 Careful, Ted, don't cut your throat on my time. 228 00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:35,831 Mr. Robertson, it was an accident! I didn't mean to do it. 229 00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:37,666 I had Duzik's phonograph handle 230 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,740 and I was just gonna knock on the door, that's all. 231 00:15:39,909 --> 00:15:41,569 - Come in, boy. - Don't pick on a little guy. 232 00:15:41,743 --> 00:15:43,540 It's all right, don't get excited. 233 00:15:43,712 --> 00:15:45,906 Sit down, son. 234 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:49,446 - Me? - Yes, sit down. 235 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,876 Well, Bill, there's your man. 236 00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,612 Hit where there's padding. Hit where there's padding! 237 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,186 - Come on, kid. - What do I do? 238 00:15:57,355 --> 00:15:59,186 Just go right ahead with him, that's all. 239 00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:01,881 - Oh, I'm sorry, sir. - Grab those, huh, kid? 240 00:16:02,059 --> 00:16:06,256 - You want I should go with him? - More than anything in the world. 241 00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:12,561 I'm sorry, Mr. Robertson. I'll pay you for that on payday. 242 00:16:15,502 --> 00:16:17,935 He sings too, huh? 243 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,938 Good luck, Mr. Miller. 244 00:16:38,252 --> 00:16:40,243 Hello, sweetie. 245 00:16:40,755 --> 00:16:42,915 Myrtle Theatre, Brooklyn. 246 00:16:51,429 --> 00:16:52,691 How are you, sweetheart? 247 00:16:52,864 --> 00:16:55,093 You wouldn't mind telling me where you were the last hour? 248 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,130 I was working, doll. I was getting some new jokes. 249 00:16:57,301 --> 00:16:59,029 - I'll bet. - From Al Borden. 250 00:16:59,202 --> 00:17:00,726 Why don't you marry him? 251 00:17:00,903 --> 00:17:04,360 - That's not funny. - Neither are his jokes. 252 00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:12,542 Mary. Mary... 253 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:16,275 ...I'm sorry. - That's very nice of you. 254 00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:18,540 Well, I am. You know how important this is to me. 255 00:17:18,716 --> 00:17:20,013 Well, I'm pretty fed up. 256 00:17:20,184 --> 00:17:22,583 Ever since the day we were married, all I've heard is Al Borden 257 00:17:22,752 --> 00:17:24,879 and his jokes and the act. 258 00:17:25,055 --> 00:17:27,989 That's a fine way to talk. You know I'm trying to make good. 259 00:17:28,157 --> 00:17:31,148 All right, then, let's not talk. 260 00:17:36,363 --> 00:17:37,887 Mary! 261 00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:40,162 Hey! 262 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:43,927 Oh, take care of this, will you, kid, and I'll see you in the dressing room. Mary! 263 00:17:44,102 --> 00:17:46,002 Six dollars, buster. 264 00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:48,161 Oh, that's very reasonable for such a nice cab. 265 00:17:48,339 --> 00:17:50,431 Now, hold it. That's the fare, birdbrain. 266 00:17:50,607 --> 00:17:53,405 Now, pay me or I'll charge you for waiting. 267 00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:11,118 You don't believe in keeping all your eggs in one basket, do you? 268 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:16,118 Wait a minute, that's only five. I said six, didn't I? 269 00:18:28,035 --> 00:18:30,435 - Could I have some back? - What? 270 00:18:30,604 --> 00:18:33,401 Well, then could I just have a nickel for carfare or a cup of coffee? 271 00:18:33,573 --> 00:18:36,507 You panhandler. 272 00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:46,774 Hey! 273 00:18:48,050 --> 00:18:51,280 Lover, when I'm near you 274 00:18:51,452 --> 00:18:56,115 And I hear you speak my name 275 00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:57,689 Softly... 276 00:18:57,858 --> 00:18:59,415 Quiet! 277 00:19:00,092 --> 00:19:03,527 Oh, please get out of the way. Our cue is on. 278 00:19:04,262 --> 00:19:08,095 Lover, when we're dancing 279 00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:09,926 - Quiet. - Quiet, schmiet. 280 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,566 You try and be quiet. 281 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:15,135 You try and be quiet, carrying these bags. 282 00:19:15,305 --> 00:19:19,104 ...entrancing music dies 283 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:22,508 Still mad? 284 00:19:22,677 --> 00:19:24,541 No, how can I stay angry with you? 285 00:19:24,711 --> 00:19:27,145 I'm sorry about last night, but it's like I told you, honey. 286 00:19:27,314 --> 00:19:29,247 I want to get up there where you'll be proud of me. 287 00:19:29,415 --> 00:19:31,974 And sometimes I'm in such a hurry, I just get carried away. 288 00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:36,946 - Oh, come on in, kid. - I'm sorry, Mr. Miller, 289 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:40,748 - But if you won't need me anymore... - Put the big one up there. 290 00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:45,382 Watch that. Easy! 291 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,791 - Yes? - Five minutes, Mr. Miller. 292 00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:51,625 OK. 293 00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,766 Mr. Miller, would you like me to put this away? 294 00:19:53,933 --> 00:19:55,628 Yeah. 295 00:19:56,668 --> 00:19:58,829 Come on, let's go, Mary. 296 00:20:00,705 --> 00:20:02,639 Come on, kid! 297 00:20:03,241 --> 00:20:07,370 Mr. Miller, I better be getting back. Mr. Robertson's gonna miss me. 298 00:20:07,544 --> 00:20:09,374 - See that box? - Yeah. 299 00:20:09,545 --> 00:20:11,410 - You go on up there. - Oh, to see the show? 300 00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:13,945 Thanks, Mr. Miller. 301 00:20:14,849 --> 00:20:17,146 - For free? - Yeah. Go right through there. 302 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,579 Good luck, darling. 303 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,183 And good luck to you too. 304 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,051 You're on. 305 00:20:45,098 --> 00:20:47,623 Oh, I'm sorry, lady! 306 00:20:47,968 --> 00:20:49,901 Oh, that's all right. 307 00:20:50,069 --> 00:20:52,264 Ask the sky above 308 00:20:52,438 --> 00:20:54,997 And ask the earth below 309 00:20:55,173 --> 00:21:00,166 Why I'm so in love And why I love you so 310 00:21:00,477 --> 00:21:04,503 Couldn't tell you though I try, dear 311 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:09,240 Just why, dear, I'm yours 312 00:21:10,017 --> 00:21:12,008 When you went away 313 00:21:12,186 --> 00:21:14,983 You left a glowing spark 314 00:21:15,155 --> 00:21:19,921 Trying to be gay Is whistling in the dark 315 00:21:20,092 --> 00:21:24,221 I am only what you make me 316 00:21:24,395 --> 00:21:26,589 Come take me 317 00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:28,025 I'm yours 318 00:21:28,198 --> 00:21:29,529 How happy 319 00:21:30,099 --> 00:21:33,466 I would be to beg and borrow 320 00:21:33,635 --> 00:21:37,230 Or sorrow with you 321 00:21:37,405 --> 00:21:40,703 Even though I knew tomorrow 322 00:21:40,874 --> 00:21:45,207 You'd say we were through 323 00:21:46,945 --> 00:21:49,345 If we drift apart 324 00:21:49,514 --> 00:21:52,004 Then I'll be lost alone 325 00:21:52,183 --> 00:21:57,085 Though you use my heart For just a stepping stone 326 00:21:57,253 --> 00:22:02,348 How can I help dreaming of you 327 00:22:02,657 --> 00:22:05,490 I love you 328 00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:10,220 I'm yours 329 00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:16,196 You brought me out for this? 330 00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:17,629 Take it easy, Frank. 331 00:22:21,038 --> 00:22:22,595 Thank you. And now, ladies... 332 00:22:22,772 --> 00:22:25,900 Thank you. All right, all right. 333 00:22:26,075 --> 00:22:27,632 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 334 00:22:27,809 --> 00:22:30,300 Now I have a treat for you. Something you're getting for nothing. 335 00:22:30,477 --> 00:22:32,672 Did you ever hear of a fellow named Jimmy Lyons? 336 00:22:32,846 --> 00:22:34,710 For your information, Jimmy Lyons is the fellow 337 00:22:34,881 --> 00:22:36,940 that wrote one of the greatest hits around today. 338 00:22:37,116 --> 00:22:38,605 A song called "For You". 339 00:22:38,784 --> 00:22:40,911 - Is he kidding? - Give him a chance. 340 00:22:41,086 --> 00:22:43,679 And it just so happens we have Jimmy Lyons in our audience today. 341 00:22:43,854 --> 00:22:47,448 Let's have him take a bow. House lights! 342 00:22:53,329 --> 00:22:55,888 - No, you! - Me? 343 00:22:56,064 --> 00:22:58,157 Come on, stand up, take a bow. Don't be shy. 344 00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:00,300 Get up. Come on. 345 00:23:03,336 --> 00:23:05,600 Oh, lady! Lady! 346 00:23:05,771 --> 00:23:08,933 Lady! Lady! Oh, lady! 347 00:23:09,107 --> 00:23:11,075 Mr. Miller! 348 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,787 - Gee, you're strong. - You're cute. 349 00:23:30,323 --> 00:23:32,916 - I'm getting out of here! - Oh, no! 350 00:23:33,092 --> 00:23:35,889 Come on, let's get him to sing, huh? Come on, applaud. 351 00:23:39,063 --> 00:23:43,055 Go on. Don't be stuck up. Sing. 352 00:23:44,233 --> 00:23:45,894 All right. 353 00:23:47,669 --> 00:23:49,102 Nothing came out. 354 00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:51,033 Hit it. 355 00:23:55,975 --> 00:23:58,637 Ask the sky above 356 00:23:58,811 --> 00:24:01,278 And ask the earth below 357 00:24:02,347 --> 00:24:04,837 Why I'm so in love 358 00:24:05,016 --> 00:24:07,348 And why I love you so 359 00:24:08,652 --> 00:24:13,111 Couldn't tell you though I try, dear 360 00:24:13,289 --> 00:24:15,553 Just why, dear 361 00:24:16,025 --> 00:24:19,460 I'm yours 362 00:24:19,627 --> 00:24:22,026 When you went away 363 00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,924 You left a glowing spark 364 00:24:25,097 --> 00:24:27,531 Trying to be gay 365 00:24:27,733 --> 00:24:30,826 Is like whistling in the dark 366 00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:36,064 I am only what you make me 367 00:24:37,974 --> 00:24:39,498 What are you laughing at? 368 00:24:39,676 --> 00:24:41,734 Say, what kind of a voice do you have? 369 00:24:41,910 --> 00:24:44,435 Until I was 18, I was a soprano. 370 00:24:44,612 --> 00:24:46,443 Soprano? 371 00:24:46,614 --> 00:24:49,446 Yeah, but then my mother told me I was born a boy. 372 00:24:49,616 --> 00:24:51,049 Don't tell me you were born. 373 00:24:51,885 --> 00:24:53,852 What do you think, I came from an egg? 374 00:24:54,019 --> 00:24:55,452 No, the chicken would have buried it. 375 00:24:55,621 --> 00:24:57,315 Ha-ha. Well, my mother loves me. 376 00:24:57,488 --> 00:24:59,888 I'll bet she was disappointed, I'll bet she wanted a child. 377 00:25:00,658 --> 00:25:04,684 She got one! Look up the records. I was born at the Mercy Hospital. 378 00:25:04,860 --> 00:25:08,591 - What's the matter, were you sick? - No, I wanted to be near my mother. 379 00:25:08,997 --> 00:25:11,329 Mercy Hospital. That's in Brooklyn, isn't it? 380 00:25:11,499 --> 00:25:13,295 What's wrong with Brooklyn? 381 00:25:13,467 --> 00:25:15,992 Any big men born in Brooklyn? 382 00:25:16,170 --> 00:25:18,069 No, just babies. 383 00:25:19,405 --> 00:25:20,929 How about "For You"? 384 00:25:21,306 --> 00:25:24,537 - For you? How about for me? - No, what about it? 385 00:25:24,710 --> 00:25:26,006 How about what? 386 00:25:26,177 --> 00:25:27,940 "For You". 387 00:25:28,412 --> 00:25:30,971 - You said that! - I know it. 388 00:25:31,147 --> 00:25:32,546 What about it? 389 00:25:32,716 --> 00:25:35,275 - Sing it. - Sing what? 390 00:25:35,517 --> 00:25:38,644 - "For You". - I don't know it! 391 00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:40,287 Well, "Who's Your Little Whozis?" 392 00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:41,751 None of your business! 393 00:25:41,922 --> 00:25:43,549 No, I mean, sing it! 394 00:25:43,724 --> 00:25:45,953 All right, but stop hollering. 395 00:25:46,292 --> 00:25:48,783 - I'll start it. - Go ahead. 396 00:25:50,261 --> 00:25:51,853 Hit it. 397 00:25:54,498 --> 00:25:56,193 Who's your little whozis? 398 00:25:56,367 --> 00:25:57,856 Who's your little whozis? 399 00:25:58,034 --> 00:25:59,661 Who's your turtledove? 400 00:25:59,836 --> 00:26:01,326 Who's your turtledove? 401 00:26:01,504 --> 00:26:03,300 Who's your little whozis? 402 00:26:03,939 --> 00:26:05,997 - Who do you - Who do you 403 00:26:06,173 --> 00:26:08,266 You don't wanna help me? 404 00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:09,908 Who's your little whatzis? 405 00:26:10,076 --> 00:26:11,566 Who's your little whatzis? 406 00:26:11,745 --> 00:26:13,406 That you're dreaming of 407 00:26:13,580 --> 00:26:15,103 That you're dreaming of 408 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,578 Who's your little whozis? 409 00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:19,341 Who do you love? 410 00:26:19,517 --> 00:26:21,280 Who do you love? 411 00:26:21,452 --> 00:26:25,148 Tell me who has you aflutter 412 00:26:25,322 --> 00:26:28,552 Whenever they're passing by? 413 00:26:28,724 --> 00:26:31,556 Melts your heart like butter 414 00:26:31,726 --> 00:26:35,354 Oh, me! Oh, my! Say 415 00:26:35,529 --> 00:26:38,861 - When you get the blueses - When you get the blueses 416 00:26:39,031 --> 00:26:40,555 Who you thinking of? 417 00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:42,461 Who you thinking of? 418 00:26:42,634 --> 00:26:46,331 Who's your little whozis? 419 00:26:46,504 --> 00:26:48,972 Who do you... 420 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,233 Who do you... 421 00:26:52,409 --> 00:26:55,172 - Who do you... - Love, love! 422 00:26:55,344 --> 00:26:57,812 Oh. Love 423 00:27:02,150 --> 00:27:04,379 Gee, you're cute! Where you gonna play next week? 424 00:27:04,551 --> 00:27:06,610 What are you, a wise guy? 425 00:27:12,023 --> 00:27:14,719 - Just listen to them! - Don't you think you should have...? 426 00:27:14,892 --> 00:27:16,689 - The fellow take a bow? - Who? 427 00:27:16,860 --> 00:27:19,623 - The fellow in the box. - Oh, sure. 428 00:27:24,166 --> 00:27:25,895 See what I mean. If you just keep punching... 429 00:27:26,067 --> 00:27:27,499 Darling... 430 00:27:27,668 --> 00:27:30,432 I don't know whether I'll let you book him now. 431 00:27:34,441 --> 00:27:35,566 Come in. 432 00:27:35,741 --> 00:27:36,901 - Hello, Mary. - Hello, Leo. 433 00:27:37,075 --> 00:27:39,066 That's more like it. Congratulations, Bill. 434 00:27:39,243 --> 00:27:41,507 - You know Frank Darling here. - Oh, hi, Frank. 435 00:27:41,679 --> 00:27:43,305 - Mrs. Miller. - Mrs. Miller, how do you do? 436 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,607 Well, Frank here wants to book you on the Orpheum Circuit 437 00:27:45,782 --> 00:27:46,806 for about ten or 12 weeks. 438 00:27:46,983 --> 00:27:49,348 - What did I tell you, Mary? - That's right. 439 00:27:49,518 --> 00:27:51,145 You and what's-his-name. 440 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,083 - Who? - The stooge in the box. 441 00:27:55,356 --> 00:27:57,789 That's right. Where is he? 442 00:28:01,894 --> 00:28:03,622 - Did you see him, Mary? - No, dear. 443 00:28:03,795 --> 00:28:05,854 - By the way, what's his name? - What? 444 00:28:06,031 --> 00:28:07,930 - What's his name? - What's his name? 445 00:28:08,098 --> 00:28:10,328 Well, no one told me. I never saw him before. 446 00:28:10,501 --> 00:28:12,331 That's fine. Leo... 447 00:28:12,502 --> 00:28:14,493 How should I know, I've never seen him before either. 448 00:28:14,671 --> 00:28:16,763 - Somebody better find him. - You're not kidding. 449 00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:19,498 And when you do, put a ring through his nose. 450 00:28:23,144 --> 00:28:25,509 Gee, Ma, I didn't know he was gonna ask me to sing. 451 00:28:25,679 --> 00:28:27,340 And everybody laughed at me. 452 00:28:27,514 --> 00:28:31,142 Now, don't worry. It's all over. 453 00:28:33,384 --> 00:28:34,874 I ran all the way home. 454 00:28:35,053 --> 00:28:37,020 It's a wonder I didn't get runned over. 455 00:28:37,187 --> 00:28:41,054 Theodore, it's done with. Don't make a big thing of it. 456 00:28:41,224 --> 00:28:44,317 Big thing of it. You should see this guy, Ma! 457 00:28:44,493 --> 00:28:47,758 Boy, if he ever got his hands on me, he'd probably choke me to death. 458 00:28:54,868 --> 00:28:56,960 Ma! Ma! The man. The man's coming! 459 00:28:57,135 --> 00:28:58,659 Who's coming? What are you talking about? 460 00:28:58,837 --> 00:29:01,498 - The guy! Ma, the guy with the act! - Theodore! 461 00:29:01,672 --> 00:29:04,436 Oh, Ma, I gotta get out of here! 462 00:29:05,742 --> 00:29:08,472 Ma. Ma, don't say nothing. Ma. 463 00:29:08,644 --> 00:29:10,202 Theodore. What are you doing? 464 00:29:10,379 --> 00:29:12,642 Don't say a word. Give me your glasses, Ma. 465 00:29:12,814 --> 00:29:14,645 He won't know me. 466 00:29:14,983 --> 00:29:16,109 Theodore! 467 00:29:17,551 --> 00:29:21,008 - Coming! - Theodore, where are you? 468 00:29:22,355 --> 00:29:24,755 Wrong apartment. 469 00:29:29,126 --> 00:29:32,254 - Does Ted Rogers live here? - Ted Rogers? 470 00:29:32,429 --> 00:29:35,864 Mother, didn't Ted say he was going to South America this afternoon? 471 00:29:36,032 --> 00:29:38,465 Oh, who do we know there? 472 00:29:38,634 --> 00:29:40,659 Yes, that's right. Yes, he left this afternoon. 473 00:29:40,836 --> 00:29:43,736 Fine boy, fine boy, that Ted. Smart as a whip. 474 00:29:43,905 --> 00:29:45,166 Hey, what are you trying to do? 475 00:29:45,338 --> 00:29:47,704 You wouldn't hit a man wearing his mother's glasses, would you? 476 00:29:47,874 --> 00:29:49,102 Now, look... 477 00:29:50,809 --> 00:29:54,073 Why, Uncle Sholum, how did you get here? 478 00:29:54,245 --> 00:29:58,874 - No, Ma, it's me, Theodore! - Oh. 479 00:29:59,883 --> 00:30:02,908 Now, look here, mister, it wasn't my fault those people laughed at me. 480 00:30:03,085 --> 00:30:04,609 You should never have got me to stand up 481 00:30:04,787 --> 00:30:06,811 and you shouldn't have had them put that light on me. 482 00:30:06,988 --> 00:30:08,649 I didn't mean to... 483 00:30:08,823 --> 00:30:11,256 - Well, I apologize. - You apologize? 484 00:30:11,425 --> 00:30:13,722 And you don't have to give me the $6 for the cab back, even. 485 00:30:13,893 --> 00:30:16,453 Oh, I nearly forgot. I brought it over for you. There you are. 486 00:30:16,629 --> 00:30:19,392 - Oh, thank you. - And here's your cap. 487 00:30:20,999 --> 00:30:22,989 No, look, I had the orchestra play the song up high 488 00:30:23,167 --> 00:30:25,794 so the people would laugh at you. I had it planned that way. 489 00:30:25,969 --> 00:30:28,870 - You wanted they should laugh at me? - Sure. 490 00:30:29,039 --> 00:30:31,768 You hear that, Ma? I was supposed to be funny. 491 00:30:37,645 --> 00:30:39,703 Look, how much does Mr. Robertson pay you a week? 492 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,507 Oh, 15 dollars a week. 493 00:30:41,682 --> 00:30:43,808 But I owe him for the glass in the office, 494 00:30:43,983 --> 00:30:46,177 and I owe him for the glass in the bookcase, 495 00:30:46,351 --> 00:30:49,514 and this week, I think for three stacks of records. 496 00:30:50,421 --> 00:30:54,914 Mom, take a look at a $40-a-week man, all expenses paid. 497 00:30:55,091 --> 00:30:56,956 - What? - That's right. 498 00:30:57,126 --> 00:31:00,959 I'm paying you 40 dollars a week and expenses. You're working for me. 499 00:31:01,196 --> 00:31:04,062 Now, look here, sir, I am not going to do anything dishonest, 500 00:31:04,231 --> 00:31:05,493 even for that kind of money! 501 00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:07,997 No, you do exactly what you did today. 502 00:31:08,168 --> 00:31:10,635 - Sit in the box and say those things? - Right. 503 00:31:10,803 --> 00:31:13,465 - Do I get to sing? - You bet. 504 00:31:13,639 --> 00:31:17,631 - Even if I sing, I still get paid? - Well, sure. 505 00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:19,702 Ma... 506 00:31:28,216 --> 00:31:30,275 I'll ask him. 507 00:31:36,022 --> 00:31:38,422 Mister, my mother and I would like to know something. 508 00:31:38,591 --> 00:31:41,423 - Yes? - Are you for real? 509 00:31:41,593 --> 00:31:45,460 Yeah, I'm for real. We got a deal, kid? 510 00:31:48,999 --> 00:31:50,899 - We got a deal. - OK. 511 00:31:51,066 --> 00:31:54,331 Here, save the gags for the act. 512 00:31:54,837 --> 00:31:58,101 Well, I guess the only thing that can come between us is dough. 513 00:32:13,217 --> 00:32:15,446 Hey, how many of those carrots you eat before going to bed? 514 00:32:15,618 --> 00:32:17,984 Oh, lots of them. They're very good for your eyes. 515 00:32:18,154 --> 00:32:19,745 Good for your eyes? 516 00:32:19,921 --> 00:32:22,890 Sure. Did you ever see a rabbit with glasses? 517 00:32:23,125 --> 00:32:26,355 - Oh, you want one? - No, thank you. 518 00:32:29,262 --> 00:32:31,321 I've never been away from home before. 519 00:32:33,632 --> 00:32:35,997 I don't know whether my mother was crying because she was happy 520 00:32:36,167 --> 00:32:38,465 or because she was upset. 521 00:32:39,970 --> 00:32:41,767 You know, you have a wonderful wife, Mr. Miller. 522 00:32:41,938 --> 00:32:44,997 She's so beautiful and so nice. 523 00:32:45,708 --> 00:32:47,902 Aren't you gonna brush your teeth before you go to bed? 524 00:32:48,076 --> 00:32:50,169 Well, of course. 525 00:33:01,620 --> 00:33:04,713 Mr. Miller, there's crooks on the train! 526 00:33:04,889 --> 00:33:06,914 - What do you mean? - Well, somebody stole the sink! 527 00:33:07,091 --> 00:33:09,786 I better go tell the conductor. They'll make us pay for it. 528 00:33:09,959 --> 00:33:14,759 Take it easy. All you do is press the button, pull the handle and it's there. 529 00:34:22,881 --> 00:34:27,214 Oh, Mr. Miller! Mr. Miller! 530 00:34:29,786 --> 00:34:32,380 Mr. Miller! 531 00:34:32,555 --> 00:34:35,455 Oh, Mr. Miller! 532 00:34:40,394 --> 00:34:44,352 You'd better get to bed before you drown yourself. 533 00:35:24,261 --> 00:35:25,922 Good night, Mr. Miller. 534 00:35:26,096 --> 00:35:28,825 You, go up there. 535 00:35:30,166 --> 00:35:32,429 You, up there. 536 00:35:46,545 --> 00:35:48,171 Well, how am I supposed to get up there? 537 00:35:48,345 --> 00:35:51,541 Use the steps. Use the steps. 538 00:35:54,083 --> 00:35:56,414 Put this up there. 539 00:36:20,069 --> 00:36:22,128 - Mr. Miller? - Yes? 540 00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:24,829 How do you put these lights out? 541 00:36:25,006 --> 00:36:27,099 There's a switch up there, kid. Use it. 542 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,913 - Mr. Miller. - What? 543 00:37:21,082 --> 00:37:22,743 How far are we from New York? 544 00:37:23,084 --> 00:37:26,109 Oh, I don't know. About 200 miles. 545 00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:29,421 - Gee, I'm homesick. - No, that's just the carrots. 546 00:37:30,256 --> 00:37:34,749 No. From carrots, I get nauseous. I'm just lonely. 547 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,756 Mr. Miller, my mother sings me to sleep. 548 00:37:38,061 --> 00:37:39,961 I am not your mother. 549 00:37:41,130 --> 00:37:42,961 Isn't that silly? I know you're not my mother 550 00:37:43,132 --> 00:37:44,655 because my mother's a woman, 551 00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:46,698 and you don't look anything like my mother. 552 00:37:46,868 --> 00:37:48,960 Besides, my mother isn't married to Mary. 553 00:37:49,136 --> 00:37:51,468 That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, Mr. Miller. 554 00:37:51,639 --> 00:37:53,037 You could no more be my mother than... 555 00:37:53,206 --> 00:37:56,266 All right, go to sleep. I'll sing to you. 556 00:37:56,476 --> 00:37:58,409 Gee, thanks. 557 00:38:06,449 --> 00:38:10,976 With my eyes wide open 558 00:38:11,153 --> 00:38:13,552 I'm dreaming 559 00:38:14,989 --> 00:38:18,719 Can it be true I'm holding you 560 00:38:18,892 --> 00:38:21,883 Close to my heart? 561 00:38:23,696 --> 00:38:27,756 With my eyes wide open 562 00:38:28,333 --> 00:38:30,596 I'm dreaming 563 00:38:31,869 --> 00:38:35,998 You're with me now Sharing a vow 564 00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:39,236 Never to part 565 00:38:41,776 --> 00:38:45,234 I'm so afraid to close my eyes 566 00:38:45,412 --> 00:38:48,142 Afraid that I'll find 567 00:38:49,215 --> 00:38:53,014 This lovely thrill is just 568 00:38:53,185 --> 00:38:55,778 A silly illusion 569 00:38:57,654 --> 00:39:01,783 With my eyes wide open 570 00:39:02,291 --> 00:39:04,953 I'm dreaming 571 00:39:06,695 --> 00:39:10,323 Do I deserve such a break? 572 00:39:11,098 --> 00:39:14,555 Pinch me to prove I'm awake 573 00:39:15,368 --> 00:39:20,896 I can't believe that you're really 574 00:39:23,407 --> 00:39:26,136 Mine 575 00:39:47,453 --> 00:39:51,616 I feel a song coming on 576 00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:57,859 And I'm warning you, it's a victorious Happy and glorious strain 577 00:40:12,038 --> 00:40:16,701 I feel a song coming on 578 00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:22,312 It's a melody full of the laughter Of children out after the rain 579 00:40:37,257 --> 00:40:39,156 - And now - And now 580 00:40:39,325 --> 00:40:42,055 - That our troubles are gone - That our troubles are gone 581 00:40:42,228 --> 00:40:45,628 Let those heavenly drums Go on drumming 582 00:40:45,797 --> 00:40:51,495 'Cause I feel a song coming on 583 00:41:01,275 --> 00:41:03,742 Now, you'll be all right. 584 00:41:04,010 --> 00:41:05,500 There. 585 00:41:07,946 --> 00:41:10,847 Hi, Pop. Did Mr. Miller get back from the party yet? 586 00:41:11,016 --> 00:41:12,983 He sure did. 587 00:41:13,151 --> 00:41:16,142 Bill. I got him. 588 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,880 - There you are. - Take your hands off of me. 589 00:41:20,056 --> 00:41:21,990 I'll take care of him, Pop. How much time we got? 590 00:41:22,158 --> 00:41:24,091 About six minutes. Heinz is on now. 591 00:41:24,259 --> 00:41:25,886 We don't have much time. We gotta work fast. 592 00:41:26,061 --> 00:41:27,960 - Let go of me... - I'll get some black coffee. 593 00:41:28,128 --> 00:41:29,561 OK. 594 00:41:30,364 --> 00:41:34,493 Come on, stop. I know it, I gotta get dressed and I gotta go on. 595 00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:36,861 Don't "shush" me. What, are you taking over? 596 00:41:37,035 --> 00:41:38,434 What, are you head man or something? 597 00:41:38,603 --> 00:41:40,695 Bill, take it easy, Bill, will you? Snap out of it. 598 00:41:40,871 --> 00:41:43,396 - We're going on in five minutes. - I'm ready right now. 599 00:41:43,574 --> 00:41:45,564 Here, I'll help you. 600 00:41:49,611 --> 00:41:51,806 I'll help you dress, Bill. 601 00:41:51,980 --> 00:41:54,106 - Here's the coffee. - Oh, thank you. 602 00:41:55,483 --> 00:41:57,882 - Coffee, Mr. Winston? - No. Fine. 603 00:41:58,051 --> 00:42:01,144 - Stewed to the gills. - Oh, no, sir. He's just tired. 604 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,720 Tired? He's paralyzed. Tell Heinz to stall. Hurry up. 605 00:42:04,889 --> 00:42:07,153 - Come on, snap out of it, Bill. - Rogers, he'll never make it. 606 00:42:07,325 --> 00:42:09,087 You'll have to go out there alone and do something. 607 00:42:09,259 --> 00:42:11,693 Me, alone? I can't. What'll I do? 608 00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:13,385 Do anything. You're an actor, aren't you? 609 00:42:13,563 --> 00:42:15,554 I am? 610 00:42:16,598 --> 00:42:17,860 What're you gonna do with that? 611 00:42:18,033 --> 00:42:20,365 Well, in case anyone throws anything, I can hide behind it. 612 00:42:20,535 --> 00:42:23,469 Gee, Mr. Winston, I'm sorry about Mr. Miller. He's never... 613 00:42:23,637 --> 00:42:25,263 - What is it? - Heinz stole three more bows. 614 00:42:25,438 --> 00:42:28,669 - He can't stall any longer. - Come on, boy. 615 00:42:28,841 --> 00:42:31,105 He's never done that before. 616 00:42:41,350 --> 00:42:42,874 I don't think you know what you're doing. 617 00:42:43,052 --> 00:42:44,576 Never mind. Get out there. 618 00:42:50,057 --> 00:42:52,150 Hello. 619 00:42:52,793 --> 00:42:56,091 Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I call you ladies and gentlemen. 620 00:42:56,262 --> 00:42:58,957 You know what you are. 621 00:43:00,298 --> 00:43:03,755 I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing. 622 00:43:03,934 --> 00:43:05,298 Stop that! 623 00:43:05,468 --> 00:43:10,268 You're not supposed to laugh at me. I'm not Bill Miller. He sings like a bird. 624 00:43:10,439 --> 00:43:12,964 I sing like a bird too, a vulture. 625 00:43:13,142 --> 00:43:15,541 I said, stop it. You're not supposed to laugh at me. 626 00:43:15,710 --> 00:43:17,904 I only came out here to tell you what Bill Miller does. 627 00:43:18,078 --> 00:43:19,340 He tells a lot of funny jokes, 628 00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:22,777 like the one about living over at the hotel. He has a beautiful room. 629 00:43:22,948 --> 00:43:25,212 I have one too, that overlooks the park. 630 00:43:25,384 --> 00:43:27,647 As a matter of fact, it overlooks it completely. 631 00:43:30,521 --> 00:43:33,887 It's a lot like from where I come from, in Brooklyn. 632 00:43:34,056 --> 00:43:36,115 I come from a very tough neighborhood in Brooklyn. 633 00:43:36,292 --> 00:43:38,191 I was sort of head of the block. 634 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,419 Yeah, they all called me "Blockhead". 635 00:43:44,398 --> 00:43:47,833 Would you like to hear me sing a song? 636 00:43:50,035 --> 00:43:53,095 Would you please play some music for me? 637 00:43:56,908 --> 00:43:58,169 Wait a minute. 638 00:43:59,443 --> 00:44:03,037 Hey, you. Where do you think you're going, mister? Sit down, there. 639 00:44:03,212 --> 00:44:05,009 - You can't walk out of here. - But I have... 640 00:44:05,181 --> 00:44:08,343 No, you can't walk out on Bill Miller's act, even when he isn't acting. 641 00:44:08,516 --> 00:44:10,506 What do you want to do, give us a bad name? Sit down. 642 00:44:10,684 --> 00:44:14,676 - But I have to... - Oh, I don't care. You sit down there. 643 00:44:17,824 --> 00:44:19,518 There too. Now, you stay there, 644 00:44:19,691 --> 00:44:23,456 and nobody else try and walk out of the theater, while I sing for Bill Miller. 645 00:44:23,627 --> 00:44:25,117 Where's my accordion? 646 00:44:25,296 --> 00:44:28,162 Don't shush, quiet me. I've got to go on there. 647 00:44:28,331 --> 00:44:30,662 You're on now, and doing great. 648 00:44:31,266 --> 00:44:33,029 What? 649 00:44:35,236 --> 00:44:40,138 Every little breeze Seems to whisper "Louise" 650 00:44:40,307 --> 00:44:45,005 Birds in the trees seem To twitter "Louise" 651 00:44:45,177 --> 00:44:49,510 Each little rose Tells me it knows 652 00:44:49,681 --> 00:44:52,148 I love you 653 00:44:53,350 --> 00:44:55,317 Love you 654 00:44:55,485 --> 00:45:00,080 Every little beat That I feel in my heart 655 00:45:00,255 --> 00:45:05,521 Seems to repeat What I felt from the start 656 00:45:05,693 --> 00:45:07,660 Each little sigh 657 00:45:07,827 --> 00:45:10,387 Tells me that I 658 00:45:10,563 --> 00:45:14,589 Adore you, Louise 659 00:45:15,366 --> 00:45:19,461 Just to see and hear you 660 00:45:19,636 --> 00:45:23,299 Brings joy I never knew 661 00:45:27,742 --> 00:45:32,371 But to be so near you 662 00:45:32,679 --> 00:45:36,910 Thrills me through and through 663 00:45:37,683 --> 00:45:42,676 Anyone can see Why I wanted your kiss 664 00:45:42,854 --> 00:45:45,344 It had to be 665 00:45:45,523 --> 00:45:48,923 But the wonder is this 666 00:45:49,292 --> 00:45:51,953 Can it be true 667 00:45:52,294 --> 00:45:55,559 Someone like you 668 00:45:55,731 --> 00:46:00,928 Someone like you Could love me 669 00:46:01,468 --> 00:46:04,027 Louise? 670 00:46:04,203 --> 00:46:07,297 Louise! 671 00:46:13,076 --> 00:46:14,805 - Where's Bill? - Bill's OK. 672 00:46:16,178 --> 00:46:18,772 - Smoke? - No, thanks. They make me cough 673 00:46:18,948 --> 00:46:21,745 - Even when I look at them. - Say, you're a pretty funny fellow. 674 00:46:21,917 --> 00:46:23,851 - What's your name? - Rogers. Ted Rogers. 675 00:46:24,019 --> 00:46:26,009 I've been wondering. I didn't see you billed anywhere. 676 00:46:26,186 --> 00:46:28,313 - Oh, I don't care. - You make the act. 677 00:46:28,488 --> 00:46:30,718 - How much does he pay you a week? - Enough. 678 00:46:30,890 --> 00:46:33,084 Does he get plastered like this very often? 679 00:46:33,258 --> 00:46:36,193 He never gets plastered, and he ain't plastered now. 680 00:46:36,361 --> 00:46:39,796 Boy, you sure are touchy. I'm just trying to pay you a compliment. 681 00:46:39,964 --> 00:46:43,592 I figured that sometime if you ever get tired of no dough and no billing, 682 00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,233 - You can always... - Now, wait a minute, Mr. Heinz, 683 00:46:45,401 --> 00:46:46,993 you can't say anything against Bill Miller. 684 00:46:47,169 --> 00:46:50,626 He took me out of a stockroom, see? I was only getting $15 a week, see? 685 00:46:50,805 --> 00:46:53,773 - But I'm only trying to... - And now I'm getting $40, see? 686 00:46:57,276 --> 00:46:59,870 - How are you, Bill? - Get your hands away from me. 687 00:47:00,046 --> 00:47:02,639 You know where you're going? You're going back to Brooklyn. 688 00:47:02,814 --> 00:47:05,941 That's where you're going. Back to Brooklyn. 689 00:47:06,884 --> 00:47:09,283 - Take it easy, Bill. - Get your hands away from me. 690 00:47:09,452 --> 00:47:11,579 I know what I'm doing. 691 00:47:12,755 --> 00:47:14,654 Take it easy. 692 00:47:25,098 --> 00:47:26,962 He's resting. 693 00:47:27,333 --> 00:47:29,164 Boy, can he use it. 694 00:47:30,068 --> 00:47:32,730 Do you think we should call a doctor or something? 695 00:47:32,904 --> 00:47:36,134 Why not use a blotter? I'll call a cab. 696 00:47:36,306 --> 00:47:38,899 Thanks. Mr. Winston... 697 00:47:39,241 --> 00:47:41,834 ...you won't tell anybody... 698 00:47:42,310 --> 00:47:43,800 ...that he was sick, will you? 699 00:47:43,979 --> 00:47:46,674 Don't worry, I've had actors getting sick on me before. 700 00:47:46,847 --> 00:47:48,212 - Thanks. - Thank you. 701 00:47:48,382 --> 00:47:50,440 Good thing you went out there. 702 00:47:50,617 --> 00:47:53,484 You sure you never did a single before? 703 00:47:54,252 --> 00:47:56,777 I never did nothing before... 704 00:47:57,356 --> 00:47:59,823 ...and I'm never gonna do nothing again. 705 00:48:10,732 --> 00:48:13,326 Just a minute. Just a minute, buddy. 706 00:48:13,501 --> 00:48:16,196 What do you think you're doing? 707 00:48:22,574 --> 00:48:26,634 Just a second, buddy. What do you think you're doing...? 708 00:48:30,014 --> 00:48:33,039 Well, shut up. I'm having enough trouble. 709 00:48:33,549 --> 00:48:36,210 Hello. Hello. Who? 710 00:48:36,385 --> 00:48:41,617 - I feel like a feather in the breeze - No, he isn't in. Wait just a minute. 711 00:48:45,792 --> 00:48:48,351 Hello? Mary? 712 00:48:48,527 --> 00:48:50,619 Hello, how are you? 713 00:48:51,396 --> 00:48:54,626 Just a minute. Just a minute. 714 00:49:03,738 --> 00:49:06,571 Hello, Mary, how are you? This is Ted. 715 00:49:06,741 --> 00:49:09,709 Hello, Ted. Fine, thanks. Say, I've bean reading about you. 716 00:49:09,877 --> 00:49:12,174 Oh, yeah. 717 00:49:12,345 --> 00:49:15,905 - Is Bill there? - Bill? Oh, he's fine. 718 00:49:16,281 --> 00:49:19,113 - Is he out? - Is he out? 719 00:49:21,252 --> 00:49:23,446 Yeah, he's out. 720 00:49:23,620 --> 00:49:29,319 Oh, I mean, he's out playing a benefit, Mary, for some society. 721 00:49:29,558 --> 00:49:31,548 Yeah, he's fine. 722 00:49:32,293 --> 00:49:34,158 All right, I'll tell him. 723 00:49:34,328 --> 00:49:38,559 All right, Mary. Bye. Good night. 724 00:49:58,747 --> 00:50:02,546 "Sensational. Bill Miller, exclusive management, Leo Lyman." 725 00:50:02,717 --> 00:50:07,380 That's a beautiful ad, and the picture looks just like you. 726 00:50:09,655 --> 00:50:11,781 What did Mary say last night? 727 00:50:12,123 --> 00:50:15,684 Oh, nothing. I mean, she just wanted to know how you were, 728 00:50:15,859 --> 00:50:17,884 et cetera, and so forth. 729 00:50:18,061 --> 00:50:20,460 - What did you say? - I said that you hadn't come in yet, 730 00:50:20,629 --> 00:50:22,756 that you were playing a benefit. 731 00:50:22,932 --> 00:50:25,365 Oh, you mean you covered for me? 732 00:50:26,735 --> 00:50:29,362 I hope I didn't say the wrong thing. 733 00:50:29,536 --> 00:50:32,629 - Wrong thing? - You're not mad? 734 00:50:32,805 --> 00:50:36,535 - No, I'm not mad. Thanks. - We're friends? 735 00:50:36,708 --> 00:50:39,176 We're friends. 736 00:50:40,745 --> 00:50:43,305 - Get that, will you, kid? - Yeah. 737 00:50:43,481 --> 00:50:47,246 - What happened? - My leg fell asleep. 738 00:50:49,785 --> 00:50:51,685 - Hello. - Surprise. 739 00:50:51,854 --> 00:50:53,150 Well, Leo, what's the good word? 740 00:50:53,321 --> 00:50:54,913 I was gonna send you a wire but I figured it would be better 741 00:50:55,089 --> 00:50:57,522 if I came down myself to Pittsburgh to tell you the good news. 742 00:50:57,691 --> 00:50:59,420 You know, you're not the only one that's a ham. 743 00:50:59,593 --> 00:51:01,355 The Palace, New York. 744 00:51:01,527 --> 00:51:03,461 That's right. Next Thursday. 745 00:51:03,629 --> 00:51:06,620 Oh, boy, now my mother can come and see me for free. 746 00:51:07,999 --> 00:51:10,330 Oh, yes, there's another thing, in case you're forgetting it. 747 00:51:10,501 --> 00:51:14,800 - Thursday is also Mary's birthday. - That's right. 748 00:51:14,971 --> 00:51:17,302 What other agent could arrange for things like that? 749 00:51:17,606 --> 00:51:20,166 How did you arrange to have Mary born on Thursday? 750 00:51:24,612 --> 00:51:26,238 Give me the coat. 751 00:51:26,412 --> 00:51:29,244 - Let go. Let go. - I'm not touching it. 752 00:51:29,414 --> 00:51:31,473 Are you crazy? You sewed it to the jacket. 753 00:51:31,650 --> 00:51:34,140 I'm sorry, Mr. Miller. It'll only take a second. 754 00:51:35,419 --> 00:51:38,182 I'm sure glad you reminded me of Mary's birthday. 755 00:51:38,355 --> 00:51:39,754 Yeah. 756 00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:45,625 Listen, kid, when you get that button straight, send this off to Mary. 757 00:51:46,361 --> 00:51:49,194 - And send some roses too. - Yes, sir. 758 00:51:50,063 --> 00:51:53,623 Leo, let's get some coffee and talk money. 759 00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,894 How could you find a subject so close to my heart? 760 00:52:01,505 --> 00:52:05,907 "Mrs. Bill Miller, 115 East 54th Street, New York, New York. 761 00:52:06,075 --> 00:52:11,341 "Home for your birthday. Big surprise. Bill." 762 00:52:18,585 --> 00:52:22,042 "Darling Mary. 763 00:52:22,288 --> 00:52:25,848 "Home for your birthday. Big surprise. 764 00:52:26,157 --> 00:52:29,684 "I love you. Bill. 765 00:52:31,962 --> 00:52:33,896 "P.S. 766 00:52:34,597 --> 00:52:37,760 "Love from the kid." 767 00:52:44,572 --> 00:52:46,937 All right, open your eyes. Happy birthday. 768 00:52:47,106 --> 00:52:50,370 Oh, Bill, what a wonderful present. You're playing the Palace. 769 00:52:50,542 --> 00:52:53,170 - I'm so proud of you. - And they said I couldn't do a single. 770 00:52:53,345 --> 00:52:55,869 Well, there you are. Oh, by the way, honey, 771 00:52:56,047 --> 00:52:58,038 I want you to have a big birthday party tonight. 772 00:52:58,216 --> 00:53:01,707 Invite all the guys that said I couldn't make it, and some of your friends. 773 00:53:02,384 --> 00:53:05,046 - How about that? - That's fine, just fine. 774 00:53:05,221 --> 00:53:09,486 Oh, and I have something else, Mary. I wrote a song for you on the train. 775 00:53:09,858 --> 00:53:11,950 I wrote the words. Bill wrote the music. 776 00:53:12,793 --> 00:53:16,660 "A Girl Named Mary". Why, thank you, Ted. I know I'll love it. 777 00:53:16,829 --> 00:53:18,819 Come on, let's go, Mary. 778 00:53:19,598 --> 00:53:22,567 - Oh, yes. - Come on, kid. 779 00:53:22,733 --> 00:53:23,722 - William. - Well, Ben. 780 00:53:23,901 --> 00:53:25,061 - Hello, Mary. - Hello, Ben. 781 00:53:25,236 --> 00:53:27,226 - What are you doing here? - Here's where I lost you. 782 00:53:27,403 --> 00:53:29,701 Here's where I pick you up again. Hello, Ted. 783 00:53:29,873 --> 00:53:32,500 You've developed into quite an actor. 784 00:53:33,141 --> 00:53:35,870 Look, Mary, I'm going back to take a look at my dressing room. 785 00:53:36,043 --> 00:53:37,635 - Now, you stay here with Ben. - All right. 786 00:53:37,812 --> 00:53:40,780 When I come back, I'll buy you lunch. Come on, kid. 787 00:53:43,983 --> 00:53:45,678 Wanna tell Uncle Ben? 788 00:53:45,851 --> 00:53:49,684 Well, don't you think he should have Ted's name around here somewhere? 789 00:53:49,854 --> 00:53:53,050 Well, you know, I've got a sneaking feeling he's saving that grand gesture 790 00:53:53,223 --> 00:53:54,690 until he's a big hit here at the Palace. 791 00:53:54,858 --> 00:53:57,485 - You really think so? - Sure. 792 00:54:00,262 --> 00:54:03,026 Yeah, this looks all right. Put the stuff here. 793 00:54:03,198 --> 00:54:04,994 Now, get some lunch and I'll see you later, kid. 794 00:54:05,165 --> 00:54:06,723 Thank you. 795 00:54:13,205 --> 00:54:14,467 Come in. 796 00:54:18,542 --> 00:54:21,203 - Oh... - Hello, handsome. 797 00:54:21,378 --> 00:54:23,403 Gee, I'm glad you made good. 798 00:54:23,580 --> 00:54:27,742 - Is that so? - Sure. I've been following your tour. 799 00:54:29,550 --> 00:54:33,679 - What for? - Because I think you're cute. 800 00:54:34,655 --> 00:54:37,350 Why isn't your picture in the lobby? 801 00:54:38,624 --> 00:54:41,956 You're pretty fresh, ain't you? How did you get in here? 802 00:54:42,127 --> 00:54:44,560 I told the doorman I was your girl. 803 00:54:44,728 --> 00:54:47,356 My girl. What are you trying to do, ruin me? You get out of here. 804 00:54:47,531 --> 00:54:49,998 It ain't right for you to be in my dressing room. 805 00:54:50,166 --> 00:54:52,531 I mean, Mr. Miller's dressing room. 806 00:54:52,768 --> 00:54:54,895 OK, I'm going. 807 00:54:55,437 --> 00:54:59,964 But when you start thinking about girls, I want you to think about me. 808 00:55:00,141 --> 00:55:03,166 - I ain't gonna think about girls. - You shave, don't you? 809 00:55:03,343 --> 00:55:05,037 Yeah, I started to shave. 810 00:55:05,210 --> 00:55:07,337 You'll be thinking about them. 811 00:55:07,513 --> 00:55:09,173 So long. 812 00:55:16,652 --> 00:55:20,917 Hello, handsome. Hello, handsome. 813 00:55:21,089 --> 00:55:25,525 Hello, handsome. Hello, handsome. 814 00:56:16,898 --> 00:56:19,627 Come with me to the Casbah. 815 00:56:21,701 --> 00:56:24,966 Come with me to the Casbah. 816 00:56:39,148 --> 00:56:42,913 "Hi, cutie, in case you want to return this handbag, 817 00:56:43,084 --> 00:56:46,541 "my phone number is Dewey 6-9098. 818 00:56:46,720 --> 00:56:49,382 "My address is 642 Greenpoint Avenue. 819 00:56:49,556 --> 00:56:51,580 "You take the shuttle at 42nd Street, 820 00:56:51,758 --> 00:56:53,658 "change at Grand Central Station, 821 00:56:53,826 --> 00:56:56,385 "take Williamsburg subway to Brooklyn. 822 00:56:56,561 --> 00:57:00,257 "Get off at Havenhurst. Then walk three blocks south. 823 00:57:00,431 --> 00:57:03,399 "Second apartment house on the left, third floor on the right. 824 00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,034 "And if you get lost, ask a policeman. 825 00:57:06,201 --> 00:57:10,069 "But for the next hour, I'll be in the drugstore around the corner." 826 00:57:33,356 --> 00:57:35,380 - Hey, wait a minute! - What is it? 827 00:57:35,557 --> 00:57:36,990 Don't you want your soda? 828 00:57:37,159 --> 00:57:39,626 This is a very funny way for a lady to try and meet a fellow, 829 00:57:39,794 --> 00:57:41,785 leave her purse on the seat and then come next door... 830 00:57:41,962 --> 00:57:44,191 Well, I just wanted to meet you. 831 00:57:44,364 --> 00:57:47,332 Well, why don't you get yourself introduced? 832 00:57:47,566 --> 00:57:48,794 Oh, excuse me. 833 00:57:49,134 --> 00:57:51,624 My name's Jennie Tait and this fellow's name is... 834 00:57:51,803 --> 00:57:53,395 What did you say your name was? 835 00:57:53,571 --> 00:57:54,867 Ted Rogers. 836 00:57:55,038 --> 00:57:57,529 Would you please introduce us? 837 00:57:59,708 --> 00:58:01,938 - Mr. Rogers? - Yeah? 838 00:58:02,144 --> 00:58:04,771 May I present Miss Genevieve Tait. 839 00:58:04,979 --> 00:58:06,913 Pleased to meet you. 840 00:58:07,281 --> 00:58:09,613 Now, will you have your soda? 841 00:58:13,886 --> 00:58:16,217 How did you know I like chocolate? 842 00:58:18,090 --> 00:58:21,388 Did anyone ever tell you you're adorable? 843 00:58:21,892 --> 00:58:23,381 No. 844 00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:25,460 Well, you are. 845 00:58:26,563 --> 00:58:30,123 You might not believe this, but I was a very ugly child. 846 00:58:54,784 --> 00:58:58,617 Stop looking at the watch, Mary. He'll be here. 847 00:59:02,189 --> 00:59:03,451 Look at the kid. 848 00:59:12,396 --> 00:59:14,762 Oh, Frecklehead... I mean, Miss Tait, 849 00:59:14,932 --> 00:59:17,399 this is Mrs. Miller and this is Mr. Lyman. 850 00:59:17,567 --> 00:59:18,932 Hello. 851 00:59:19,102 --> 00:59:20,966 - Did I do it all right? - You certainly did. 852 00:59:21,137 --> 00:59:23,367 - Happy to know you, Miss Tait. - Hello. 853 00:59:23,539 --> 00:59:25,028 Her name is really Genevieve, 854 00:59:25,206 --> 00:59:27,504 but I think it best we all call her Frecklehead. 855 00:59:27,675 --> 00:59:29,073 - OK, Frecklehead. - Frecklehead. 856 00:59:29,243 --> 00:59:31,040 Is it all right that I brought her to the party? 857 00:59:31,211 --> 00:59:32,802 Of course. I'm delighted to have her. 858 00:59:32,979 --> 00:59:36,414 I'm glad of that, Mrs. Miller. Congratulations on your birthday. 859 00:59:36,581 --> 00:59:38,515 Why, thank you. Have a nice time. 860 00:59:38,683 --> 00:59:40,650 Thank you, we will. 861 00:59:41,619 --> 00:59:44,883 Genevieve... Frecklehead. 862 00:59:46,389 --> 00:59:49,482 - Gee, she's nice. - And pretty. 863 00:59:49,658 --> 00:59:51,558 You're pretty too. 864 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:55,661 - Did you always have freckles? - Yes, and I hate them. 865 00:59:55,963 --> 00:59:57,953 I think they're very becoming. 866 00:59:58,165 --> 01:00:00,792 It just goes to show what you know. 867 01:00:01,066 --> 01:00:03,500 What do you wanna do, start something? 868 01:00:09,206 --> 01:00:11,265 I'm sorry, Leo. 869 01:00:15,211 --> 01:00:17,371 You know he wouldn't stay away unless it was someone 870 01:00:17,546 --> 01:00:19,741 or something very important, Mary. 871 01:00:19,915 --> 01:00:22,940 It's always someone or something. 872 01:00:23,117 --> 01:00:27,951 Leo, you've known him for so long. Why is he so thoughtless of everyone? 873 01:00:28,254 --> 01:00:30,016 He's just going through a stage now, Mary. 874 01:00:30,189 --> 01:00:31,884 He just hit "Ol' Man River" success, 875 01:00:32,057 --> 01:00:34,081 and maybe the water's a little bit too deep for him. 876 01:00:34,258 --> 01:00:36,385 But don't worry. They all come ashore. 877 01:00:36,894 --> 01:00:39,794 I know this is just ambition. 878 01:00:39,963 --> 01:00:43,898 Down deep inside, there's a wonderful, sweet guy. 879 01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:48,091 I found it once and I'll bring it out again. 880 01:00:48,269 --> 01:00:50,759 Oh, I'm sorry. Let's have a drink. 881 01:00:51,905 --> 01:00:53,202 To Mary and Bill. 882 01:00:54,407 --> 01:00:56,398 He wouldn't like the billing. 883 01:01:02,079 --> 01:01:04,172 This is where I live. 884 01:01:14,422 --> 01:01:16,117 Well... 885 01:01:16,891 --> 01:01:18,858 ...good night. 886 01:01:19,559 --> 01:01:22,425 I had a wonderful time. 887 01:01:22,595 --> 01:01:25,587 Well, good night. I'll see you. 888 01:01:25,764 --> 01:01:27,128 I hope so. 889 01:01:27,298 --> 01:01:29,323 Thanks for everything. 890 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:31,399 That's all right. 891 01:01:31,969 --> 01:01:34,937 Frecklehead, you know I... 892 01:01:35,171 --> 01:01:37,264 - I wonder... - Yes? 893 01:01:38,306 --> 01:01:40,672 Well, I never kissed a girl before, and... 894 01:01:41,142 --> 01:01:43,336 - Well... - You never what? 895 01:01:44,511 --> 01:01:47,308 You heard me. I never kissed a girl before in my whole life. 896 01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,880 - You're sure? - Sure, I'm sure. 897 01:01:51,683 --> 01:01:54,083 - Never mind. - Just a minute. 898 01:02:02,858 --> 01:02:06,884 - I'm never gonna do that again. - Did it do something to you? 899 01:02:07,061 --> 01:02:10,428 It had no effect on me whatsoever. 900 01:02:35,311 --> 01:02:36,869 Mary. 901 01:02:38,147 --> 01:02:39,636 Mary. 902 01:02:40,015 --> 01:02:42,506 I'm sorry I missed the party, honey, but I couldn't help it. 903 01:02:45,453 --> 01:02:47,545 Oh, Mary, please don't cry. 904 01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:50,621 I love you, honey. Honest, I do. 905 01:02:50,790 --> 01:02:54,190 But I was so excited. I want to tell you about Sutherland and everything. 906 01:02:54,359 --> 01:02:57,953 I don't care about you or Sutherland or anyone. 907 01:02:58,129 --> 01:03:02,531 But he wants me in the revue, honey. He gave me a contract to look over. 908 01:03:02,833 --> 01:03:05,665 Here, look under the door. I'll show it to you. 909 01:03:13,774 --> 01:03:16,606 - OK. - What's the matter? 910 01:03:16,809 --> 01:03:18,208 She locked me out. 911 01:03:18,377 --> 01:03:20,867 Really? Is that legal? 912 01:03:21,046 --> 01:03:24,310 I'm sorry. You don't have to get sore. I was just asking. 913 01:03:25,983 --> 01:03:28,678 You know, you may not think that in this head anything can happen, 914 01:03:28,852 --> 01:03:31,878 but it can. I got an idea. Listen. 915 01:03:36,891 --> 01:03:38,756 - You got it? - Yeah. 916 01:03:41,928 --> 01:03:43,623 I'm sorry. 917 01:03:45,831 --> 01:03:47,093 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 918 01:03:47,266 --> 01:03:49,358 a new song written by two very talented boys, 919 01:03:49,534 --> 01:03:52,730 especially for the birthday of Mrs. Bill Miller. 920 01:03:56,273 --> 01:04:00,299 The world looks rosy 921 01:04:00,475 --> 01:04:03,672 Up on Sweetheart Hill 922 01:04:05,179 --> 01:04:08,909 For a girl named Mary 923 01:04:09,949 --> 01:04:12,440 And a boy named Bill 924 01:04:14,419 --> 01:04:18,752 "Come on, get cozy" 925 01:04:18,923 --> 01:04:22,449 Says the whippoorwill 926 01:04:22,959 --> 01:04:27,418 To a girl named Mary 927 01:04:27,663 --> 01:04:30,597 And a boy named Bill 928 01:04:32,133 --> 01:04:37,592 Where there's a sky That's full of moonlight 929 01:04:37,770 --> 01:04:41,500 And a Mary full of charms 930 01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:46,869 There ought to be a William 931 01:04:47,545 --> 01:04:49,910 Snuggled in her arms 932 01:04:50,079 --> 01:04:53,173 So if I kiss you 933 01:04:54,483 --> 01:04:57,713 And I think I will 934 01:04:59,253 --> 01:05:03,848 Believe me, it's the only thing 935 01:05:04,824 --> 01:05:07,257 To do 936 01:05:08,093 --> 01:05:12,119 For you're my Mary 937 01:05:12,764 --> 01:05:15,459 And I'm your Bill 938 01:05:17,367 --> 01:05:21,325 And it's wonderful 939 01:05:21,504 --> 01:05:27,839 To be in love with you 940 01:05:40,451 --> 01:05:42,384 Oh, Bill. 941 01:05:42,586 --> 01:05:44,611 Mrs. Miller, we're going out and celebrating. 942 01:05:44,788 --> 01:05:46,982 - At this hour? - Sure. I'll find a club open 943 01:05:47,156 --> 01:05:48,987 - Or I'll open one. - Now, what would people say? 944 01:05:49,158 --> 01:05:52,354 A big star seen out in public with his own wife. It's too normal. 945 01:05:52,527 --> 01:05:55,188 We'll take Ted along as a chaperone. 946 01:06:02,734 --> 01:06:05,828 Oh, I can't help it, it's so romantic. 947 01:06:15,477 --> 01:06:17,274 Waiter, some more champagne, please. 948 01:06:17,446 --> 01:06:18,707 Yes, sir. 949 01:06:19,647 --> 01:06:21,342 Excuse me. 950 01:06:21,549 --> 01:06:24,881 - Don't you think Ted's had enough? - He's all right. 951 01:06:25,085 --> 01:06:28,520 - Are you whispering about me? - Oh, no. What gives you that idea? 952 01:06:28,687 --> 01:06:32,383 I don't know. Am I being very extraordinary? 953 01:06:32,557 --> 01:06:35,548 "Hextraordinary", that's a funny one. 954 01:06:36,126 --> 01:06:37,286 How do you feel? 955 01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:41,930 I feel very... 956 01:06:42,198 --> 01:06:44,062 ...glingglong, thank you. 957 01:06:44,232 --> 01:06:45,256 Glingglong? 958 01:06:49,937 --> 01:06:52,632 Thank you, thank you very much. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 959 01:06:53,273 --> 01:06:54,331 We don't usually do this, 960 01:06:54,507 --> 01:06:57,066 but there's a young man here I'd like to have you meet. 961 01:06:57,242 --> 01:07:00,733 He's just scored a terrific hit at the Palace Theatre. Mr. Bill Miller! 962 01:07:02,446 --> 01:07:05,312 Thank you. Excuse me, will you, honey? 963 01:07:07,850 --> 01:07:09,078 Thank you, Tommy. 964 01:07:09,251 --> 01:07:12,344 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you, but this isn't my night at all. 965 01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:15,716 We have a young lady in the audience who's celebrating her birthday. 966 01:07:16,023 --> 01:07:17,991 And by a very strange coincidence, 967 01:07:18,158 --> 01:07:20,523 I have written a new song, especially for her. 968 01:07:20,726 --> 01:07:23,058 And maybe we can get her up here to sing this song. 969 01:07:24,429 --> 01:07:26,954 She happens to be my wife, and also the great 970 01:07:27,132 --> 01:07:30,726 Sutherland Revue star, Miss Mary Turner. 971 01:07:33,970 --> 01:07:37,530 - Hiya, Big Shot. - Hiya, Heinz. 972 01:07:37,706 --> 01:07:39,435 Pardon me. 973 01:07:44,010 --> 01:07:46,638 Mary, you say something sensational to the people 974 01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:48,871 and I'll talk with the piano player. 975 01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:51,976 Thank you. It's very gracious of my husband 976 01:07:52,150 --> 01:07:57,086 to ask me to sing a song, particularly this song, "A Girl Named Mary". 977 01:07:57,254 --> 01:08:02,213 Music by Bill Miller, words by Ted Rogers. 978 01:08:07,662 --> 01:08:11,427 - The world looks rosy - Oh, what a rosy-colored hue 979 01:08:11,598 --> 01:08:15,363 - Up on Sweetheart Hill - Even a cabaret will do 980 01:08:15,535 --> 01:08:19,493 - For a girl named Mary - Mary is what I answer to 981 01:08:19,671 --> 01:08:21,103 And a boy named Bill 982 01:08:21,272 --> 01:08:23,069 Well, what do you know, that must be you 983 01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:26,970 - "Come on, get cozy" - Oh, what a wonderful idea 984 01:08:27,143 --> 01:08:30,703 - Says the whippoorwill - How did he ever get in here? 985 01:08:30,879 --> 01:08:34,644 - To a girl named Mary - My, what a most peculiar sky 986 01:08:34,816 --> 01:08:38,410 - And a boy named Bill - Pardon me, did you drop a sigh? 987 01:08:38,585 --> 01:08:43,112 Where there's a sky That's full of moonlight 988 01:08:44,023 --> 01:08:46,081 And a Mary full of charms 989 01:08:46,257 --> 01:08:50,283 There really ought to be a William 990 01:08:50,461 --> 01:08:53,918 - Right! - Snuggled in her arms 991 01:08:54,097 --> 01:08:57,532 - So if I kiss you - What makes you think you won't? 992 01:08:57,766 --> 01:09:01,496 - And I think that I will - You're crazy if you don't 993 01:09:01,702 --> 01:09:07,401 Believe me, it's the only thing to do 994 01:09:07,574 --> 01:09:09,666 So true 995 01:09:09,842 --> 01:09:12,936 For you're my Mary 996 01:09:13,112 --> 01:09:15,306 And you're my Bill 997 01:09:15,480 --> 01:09:17,242 Your Bill 998 01:09:17,414 --> 01:09:23,352 And it's wonderful To be in love with you 999 01:09:31,258 --> 01:09:33,385 Hello, Heinz. 1000 01:09:33,559 --> 01:09:36,289 Oh, you'd better not drink any more. 1001 01:09:36,763 --> 01:09:41,926 If I want to celebrate for my pal Bill, I can celebrate. 1002 01:09:42,366 --> 01:09:44,231 This is for your own good. 1003 01:09:44,402 --> 01:09:48,064 Come over here with me. I want to tell you something, alone. 1004 01:09:48,238 --> 01:09:50,762 Come on, come on, come on. 1005 01:09:51,707 --> 01:09:58,269 Believe me, it's the only thing do 1006 01:09:59,379 --> 01:10:03,474 - For you're my Mary - Mary, yes 1007 01:10:03,649 --> 01:10:06,708 And you're my Bill 1008 01:10:16,292 --> 01:10:22,456 And it's wonderful 1009 01:10:23,164 --> 01:10:28,692 To be in love 1010 01:10:28,868 --> 01:10:34,702 With you 1011 01:10:39,843 --> 01:10:41,572 - Where's Ted? - I don't know. 1012 01:10:43,412 --> 01:10:45,437 Look, get smart, will you, kid? 1013 01:10:45,614 --> 01:10:49,242 If anything happens to you, your pal Bill, he's gonna starve to death. 1014 01:10:49,417 --> 01:10:53,113 Why, he's nothing but a third-rate, broken-down ham. 1015 01:10:58,291 --> 01:11:00,258 Hey, what happened? 1016 01:11:06,397 --> 01:11:08,057 Are you all right, kid? 1017 01:11:08,231 --> 01:11:10,665 - Yeah. - You sure? 1018 01:11:10,867 --> 01:11:12,891 He never touched me. 1019 01:11:21,374 --> 01:11:25,070 I took care of him pretty good. 1020 01:11:25,244 --> 01:11:26,939 You were wonderful. 1021 01:11:27,112 --> 01:11:30,842 Yeah, but I had to hold back a little. I didn't want to hurt him too bad. 1022 01:11:31,015 --> 01:11:33,209 - Sure, sure. - Here, off with the coat. 1023 01:11:33,383 --> 01:11:34,748 - Come on. - Off with the coat. 1024 01:11:34,918 --> 01:11:39,183 A girl named Mary Is not contrary 1025 01:11:39,355 --> 01:11:42,016 - I'll turn the covers down. - She'll turn the covers down. 1026 01:11:42,190 --> 01:11:47,092 - You'll go right to bed. - Bed? What's playing there? 1027 01:11:49,395 --> 01:11:51,885 You think I'm drunk. 1028 01:11:52,564 --> 01:11:55,590 Well, as they say in the Klondike, 1029 01:11:55,867 --> 01:11:59,564 - "Fara-a-lito-garn-a-lendo." - Garn-a-lendo. 1030 01:11:59,736 --> 01:12:01,795 You know what that means? 1031 01:12:02,906 --> 01:12:04,873 "Stinking drunk." 1032 01:12:06,575 --> 01:12:10,066 - So let's have a little drink. - Oh, no, oh, no. You're going to bed. 1033 01:12:10,245 --> 01:12:11,871 - Going to bed? - Sure, you're going to bed. 1034 01:12:12,045 --> 01:12:13,103 I don't know anybody in bed. 1035 01:12:13,280 --> 01:12:15,043 - Here we go. - Here we go. 1036 01:12:15,249 --> 01:12:17,148 - Here we go... - Come on, come on. 1037 01:12:17,316 --> 01:12:19,375 - Here we go. - Here we go. 1038 01:12:20,585 --> 01:12:23,520 - That's a wonderful song. - Oh, a beautiful song. 1039 01:12:23,688 --> 01:12:26,247 A boy named Mary 1040 01:12:26,423 --> 01:12:30,017 And a girl called Joe 1041 01:12:30,193 --> 01:12:32,456 - Joe? - That's a wonderful song. 1042 01:12:33,028 --> 01:12:35,087 Bill love Mary? 1043 01:12:37,231 --> 01:12:38,789 That's right. 1044 01:12:39,267 --> 01:12:41,325 Mary love Bill? 1045 01:12:42,769 --> 01:12:46,260 That's right. Because I love the both of you. 1046 01:12:48,274 --> 01:12:50,298 Don't you believe me? 1047 01:12:50,475 --> 01:12:51,942 - Yeah. - Yes. 1048 01:12:54,778 --> 01:12:56,938 Bill, you're the luckiest fellow in the whole world 1049 01:12:57,113 --> 01:12:58,740 - Because Mary loves you. - Yeah, I'm lucky. 1050 01:12:58,915 --> 01:13:01,815 If Mary loved me, I wouldn't ever leave her. 1051 01:13:01,983 --> 01:13:03,883 - I wouldn't either. - Never leave her. 1052 01:13:04,052 --> 01:13:05,211 I'll never leave her. 1053 01:13:06,253 --> 01:13:09,050 Even if I was on the stage, I wouldn't ever leave her. 1054 01:13:09,222 --> 01:13:10,655 And I know that. 1055 01:13:10,823 --> 01:13:13,655 Because Mary's wonderful, Bill. 1056 01:13:14,793 --> 01:13:17,226 - You're wonderful, Mary. - Thank you, Ted. 1057 01:13:17,428 --> 01:13:19,419 Yeah, Mary's a champ. 1058 01:13:19,764 --> 01:13:22,061 And you'll never ever you'll leave her? 1059 01:13:22,232 --> 01:13:24,632 I'll never you'll ever you'll leave her. 1060 01:13:24,801 --> 01:13:27,166 - You're sure, Bill? - I'm sure, Bill. 1061 01:13:27,369 --> 01:13:29,928 - No, I'm Ted. - Yeah. 1062 01:13:48,586 --> 01:13:53,147 A girl named Mary 1063 01:14:04,931 --> 01:14:06,261 Ted. 1064 01:14:07,099 --> 01:14:08,498 Ted. 1065 01:14:09,001 --> 01:14:10,058 - Wake up. - I'm up. 1066 01:14:10,234 --> 01:14:11,531 - Come on. - I'm up. 1067 01:14:11,703 --> 01:14:14,170 - Get up. Come on, let's go. - All right. 1068 01:14:14,338 --> 01:14:16,101 - Let's go, Ted. - Let's go, Ted. 1069 01:14:16,273 --> 01:14:18,206 - Come on, Ted, let's go. - Let's go. 1070 01:14:18,374 --> 01:14:19,568 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 1071 01:14:19,742 --> 01:14:20,766 OK. 1072 01:14:20,943 --> 01:14:22,773 - No, here we go. - Here we go. 1073 01:14:22,944 --> 01:14:25,378 - Come on, here we go. Wake up. - Come on, here we go. 1074 01:14:25,547 --> 01:14:27,878 - Come on. Here we go. - Here we go. 1075 01:14:28,048 --> 01:14:30,072 - All right, now, are you OK? - Here we go. 1076 01:14:30,249 --> 01:14:33,741 OK. Ted. Here we go. Come on, now. 1077 01:14:34,553 --> 01:14:35,986 - What's the matter? - What's that? 1078 01:14:36,221 --> 01:14:38,188 Oh, that's your head. That's OK. 1079 01:14:38,356 --> 01:14:40,586 Now, stay right there. Hold it. 1080 01:14:40,758 --> 01:14:43,419 Here's some coffee. It'll fix you up. 1081 01:14:43,593 --> 01:14:45,993 Ted! Here we go, now! Come on, up. 1082 01:14:46,162 --> 01:14:49,927 - Upsy-daisy, here we go. - Oh, my head! 1083 01:14:50,099 --> 01:14:51,690 That's mine. 1084 01:14:51,866 --> 01:14:54,164 Now, come on. I gotta see Sutherland and I'm late now. 1085 01:14:54,335 --> 01:14:55,631 - Oh, who? - Sutherland. 1086 01:14:55,836 --> 01:14:57,736 - Now, come on, let's go. - All right. 1087 01:14:57,904 --> 01:15:00,303 - Are you all right? OK! - OK. 1088 01:15:00,473 --> 01:15:02,463 - You sure you're all right? - I'm sure I'm all right. 1089 01:15:02,641 --> 01:15:04,006 - You feel fine? - I feel fine. 1090 01:15:04,175 --> 01:15:05,767 - You feel OK? - I feel OK. 1091 01:15:05,944 --> 01:15:10,141 - All right. - All right. I'm OK. I'm OK! 1092 01:15:19,787 --> 01:15:21,516 Sorry, gentlemen. 1093 01:15:21,722 --> 01:15:24,246 - Excuse me. - Oh, excuse me, Mr. Sutherland. 1094 01:15:24,424 --> 01:15:25,755 It looks OK to me, Bill. 1095 01:15:25,925 --> 01:15:27,414 - OK? - Yeah. 1096 01:15:32,997 --> 01:15:35,624 - Where do I sign? - Right here. 1097 01:15:35,966 --> 01:15:38,594 Don't you want to read it first? Check on your salary? 1098 01:15:38,769 --> 01:15:42,568 There'll be no checks. I want all my money in cash. 1099 01:15:48,442 --> 01:15:50,376 I'm nervous. 1100 01:15:51,377 --> 01:15:54,175 - What's my name? - Ted Rogers. 1101 01:15:54,347 --> 01:15:56,177 I forgot. 1102 01:15:59,217 --> 01:16:01,707 Excuse me, Mr. Sutherland, but could I use your phone, please? 1103 01:16:01,886 --> 01:16:03,114 Certainly. 1104 01:16:03,287 --> 01:16:05,550 Thank you. Here. 1105 01:16:06,556 --> 01:16:07,544 Thanks. 1106 01:16:07,723 --> 01:16:13,126 Hello, operator, would you be good enough to get me Greenpoint 7-9970? 1107 01:16:14,929 --> 01:16:20,229 Hello, Ma! Hey, Ma, look at me. I'm in Mr. Sutherland's Revue. 1108 01:16:20,733 --> 01:16:25,396 No! No, Ma, I'll keep my clothes on. 1109 01:16:29,373 --> 01:16:32,307 And a boy named Bill 1110 01:16:33,076 --> 01:16:35,636 - Well, hi. - Hi. What's all the excitement? 1111 01:16:35,812 --> 01:16:39,338 Oh, I... What are you hiding? What is that? 1112 01:16:39,514 --> 01:16:42,744 Oh, it's just a telegram from C.B. Cochran in London. 1113 01:16:42,917 --> 01:16:44,508 He wants me to star in his new revue, 1114 01:16:44,684 --> 01:16:46,515 just in case you think I'm an old has-been. 1115 01:16:46,686 --> 01:16:49,677 Well, you tell Mr. Cochran to go peddle his papers. 1116 01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:52,414 Happy day-after-your-birthday. 1117 01:16:54,892 --> 01:16:57,860 Oh, Bill! This must have cost a fortune! 1118 01:16:58,028 --> 01:16:59,325 Well, you know what everybody says: 1119 01:16:59,496 --> 01:17:02,464 "Money isn't everything, and I'm the guy that keeps proving it." 1120 01:17:02,698 --> 01:17:04,961 You know something? You've got your arms around a guy 1121 01:17:05,133 --> 01:17:06,760 who's gonna star in Sutherland's Revue. 1122 01:17:06,935 --> 01:17:07,924 Really? 1123 01:17:08,103 --> 01:17:09,831 Signed, sealed and delivered this afternoon. 1124 01:17:10,003 --> 01:17:11,129 - Ted too? - Well, sure. 1125 01:17:11,305 --> 01:17:13,101 Everywhere I go, Ted goes too. 1126 01:17:13,272 --> 01:17:16,002 - I hope so. - What do you mean, "I hope so"? 1127 01:17:16,209 --> 01:17:17,470 Well, I... 1128 01:17:17,676 --> 01:17:19,541 I thought after you opened at the Palace 1129 01:17:19,711 --> 01:17:22,508 it would've been nice if you'd given him some kind of recognition. 1130 01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:25,807 Look, honey, will you leave the kid to me? I know how to handle him. 1131 01:17:25,982 --> 01:17:29,610 He's happy, I'm happy, you're happy. We're a big hit. 1132 01:17:29,818 --> 01:17:32,184 I guarantee I'll always take care of the kid. 1133 01:17:32,354 --> 01:17:35,413 You promise? You won't ever treat him like a... 1134 01:17:35,590 --> 01:17:37,819 - Like a what? - You know... 1135 01:17:38,391 --> 01:17:40,881 Like a nobody. A stooge. 1136 01:17:41,060 --> 01:17:42,755 I promise. 1137 01:17:44,029 --> 01:17:47,930 A boy named Mary And a girl named Bill 1138 01:17:48,099 --> 01:17:49,429 - Hello. - Hi. 1139 01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:50,624 Hello, Ted. 1140 01:17:50,801 --> 01:17:52,598 Listen, I wanted to ask you something. 1141 01:17:52,770 --> 01:17:55,294 Since the both of you are practically my mother and my father 1142 01:17:55,471 --> 01:17:57,495 and I wouldn't do a thing without consulting you, 1143 01:17:57,672 --> 01:17:59,970 and after we open and we're a big hit... 1144 01:18:00,142 --> 01:18:02,769 After we open and we're a big hit, and after I'm married, 1145 01:18:02,943 --> 01:18:05,467 what should I do, buy a house or rent an apartment? 1146 01:18:05,745 --> 01:18:07,736 Well, whom are you going to marry? 1147 01:18:08,648 --> 01:18:10,581 Whom am I going to marry? 1148 01:18:10,749 --> 01:18:13,240 I am going to marry Miss Genevieve Tait. 1149 01:18:13,417 --> 01:18:15,647 Frecklehead, that's whom. 1150 01:18:15,820 --> 01:18:17,684 Well, I suggest you ask Miss Frecklehead 1151 01:18:17,854 --> 01:18:20,254 whether she'd rather live in a house or an apartment. 1152 01:18:20,423 --> 01:18:22,481 Oh, no, I have to disagree with you there, Mary, 1153 01:18:22,658 --> 01:18:25,252 because I feel it is the husband's place to decide. 1154 01:18:25,427 --> 01:18:27,326 She's gonna live there with you. 1155 01:18:27,829 --> 01:18:29,659 She is? I mean, she is. 1156 01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:31,127 - That's right. - Yeah. 1157 01:18:31,498 --> 01:18:33,625 - Would you do me a favor, Mary? - If I can. 1158 01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:35,267 The next time you see Frecklehead, 1159 01:18:35,434 --> 01:18:39,665 will you ask her to ask me to ask her to marry her? 1160 01:18:39,838 --> 01:18:42,032 Because I'm gonna ask her. 1161 01:18:43,307 --> 01:18:46,400 - Well, I'll do my best. - Gee, thanks, Mary. Bye. 1162 01:18:46,576 --> 01:18:48,373 My best too. 1163 01:18:56,417 --> 01:18:57,975 Freckle... 1164 01:18:58,418 --> 01:19:00,978 - Frecklehead? - Yes? 1165 01:19:02,288 --> 01:19:05,689 - I wanted to ask you... - Yes? 1166 01:19:05,858 --> 01:19:08,485 Well, I thought that maybe you and me could... 1167 01:19:08,660 --> 01:19:10,218 Yes? 1168 01:19:10,794 --> 01:19:14,889 - I mean, if the two of us were... - Yes? 1169 01:19:17,266 --> 01:19:18,789 Here. 1170 01:19:22,270 --> 01:19:23,702 How about it? 1171 01:19:23,871 --> 01:19:25,498 Not until you ask me. 1172 01:19:27,173 --> 01:19:30,142 Would you consider marrying a fellow who sits up in a box? 1173 01:19:35,713 --> 01:19:38,443 Well, what are you bawling about? 1174 01:19:39,783 --> 01:19:41,842 Try it on. 1175 01:19:42,852 --> 01:19:44,149 Go ahead, try it on. 1176 01:19:44,320 --> 01:19:47,083 I'd love to marry you... 1177 01:19:47,655 --> 01:19:49,384 ...but I gotta tell you something first. 1178 01:19:50,124 --> 01:19:52,148 Can't you tell me after we're married? 1179 01:19:52,326 --> 01:19:54,886 No, it's very important. 1180 01:19:55,962 --> 01:19:57,395 I think you're a big dope 1181 01:19:57,597 --> 01:19:59,791 because you're letting Bill Miller make a fool of you. 1182 01:19:59,965 --> 01:20:02,092 - Wait a minute! - I won't wait a minute! 1183 01:20:02,267 --> 01:20:03,790 He's making a fool of you! 1184 01:20:03,968 --> 01:20:07,232 Frecklehead, Bill Miller is my friend. 1185 01:20:07,403 --> 01:20:10,133 And besides, whatever we do is no business of yours! 1186 01:20:10,306 --> 01:20:12,705 If I'm gonna marry you, it's a lot of my business! 1187 01:20:12,875 --> 01:20:15,070 Well, wait until after we're married, then! 1188 01:20:16,310 --> 01:20:17,800 OK! 1189 01:20:18,813 --> 01:20:20,871 OK! 1190 01:20:35,091 --> 01:20:38,287 - Curtain going up. - First aisle to the right. 1191 01:20:38,560 --> 01:20:40,652 - Curtain going up. - Straight ahead, please. 1192 01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:44,126 First aisle to the right. 1193 01:20:44,765 --> 01:20:48,962 Well, I'm happy, so happy When you're near 1194 01:20:49,135 --> 01:20:51,864 My troubles just disappear 1195 01:20:52,036 --> 01:20:55,699 As soon as you're by my side Well, I'm satisfied 1196 01:20:55,873 --> 01:21:00,502 I feel like a feather in the breeze Having my fun, kissing the sun 1197 01:21:00,676 --> 01:21:03,201 And it's because you're the one 1198 01:21:03,546 --> 01:21:06,412 So I'm singing Like the birdies in the trees 1199 01:21:06,581 --> 01:21:09,549 And feeling like a feather Feeling like a feather 1200 01:21:09,717 --> 01:21:13,652 Feeling like a feather in the breeze 1201 01:21:20,925 --> 01:21:22,950 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. If there's any song you'd like to hear, 1202 01:21:23,127 --> 01:21:24,991 just call it out and I'd be glad to do it for you. 1203 01:21:25,162 --> 01:21:27,289 - "Just One More Chance". - What? 1204 01:21:27,464 --> 01:21:30,432 "Just One More Chance", and I'd like to hear you play it on that zither. 1205 01:21:30,599 --> 01:21:33,294 "Thither"? This isn't a zither. 1206 01:21:33,468 --> 01:21:36,164 - No? Then what ith it? - What ith it? 1207 01:21:36,570 --> 01:21:39,937 - Well, thith ithn't a thither. - Yeth, what ith it? 1208 01:21:40,107 --> 01:21:43,371 Thith ith a... Thith ith... Now he's got me doing it. 1209 01:21:43,609 --> 01:21:46,338 This is an Italian lavaliere. This is a burden around my neck. 1210 01:21:46,511 --> 01:21:47,876 You know what a burden is, don't you? 1211 01:21:48,346 --> 01:21:51,872 Sure. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. 1212 01:21:52,516 --> 01:21:54,312 Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to sing a song... 1213 01:21:54,484 --> 01:21:55,974 - Thanks for the warning. - Hear, hear. 1214 01:21:56,152 --> 01:21:59,746 I'll have you know that my aunt gave me $10,000 to cultivate my voice. 1215 01:21:59,922 --> 01:22:01,218 Really? 1216 01:22:01,722 --> 01:22:06,158 - Just one more chance - Hey. Hey. Hey! 1217 01:22:06,827 --> 01:22:08,419 - To... - Hey! 1218 01:22:08,595 --> 01:22:10,528 - What is it? - You said your aunt gave you $10,000 1219 01:22:10,696 --> 01:22:12,459 - To cultivate your voice? - That's right. 1220 01:22:12,631 --> 01:22:13,961 What did you do with the money? 1221 01:22:18,335 --> 01:22:19,962 You still wanna hear "Just One More Chance"? 1222 01:22:20,170 --> 01:22:21,966 Yeah, and I'd like to hear it today. 1223 01:22:26,107 --> 01:22:28,507 - You like my playing? - Sure, cut the cards. 1224 01:22:28,743 --> 01:22:30,334 I mean, do you like the music? 1225 01:22:30,578 --> 01:22:33,944 Oh, it's fine. All you need now is a monkey and a tin cup. 1226 01:22:34,113 --> 01:22:35,978 Come around tomorrow, I have the tin cup. 1227 01:22:38,851 --> 01:22:40,910 Look, you keep this up and I'm gonna have you evicted. 1228 01:22:43,588 --> 01:22:46,021 - What's the matter? - You said a dirty word! 1229 01:22:46,189 --> 01:22:47,349 I only said "evicted". 1230 01:22:49,426 --> 01:22:50,756 You said it again! 1231 01:22:50,926 --> 01:22:53,394 - You keep this up and I'm gonna... - Don't you say that word again! 1232 01:22:53,562 --> 01:22:55,586 It only means "ejected". 1233 01:22:56,698 --> 01:22:58,164 That's dirtier than the other one! 1234 01:23:00,801 --> 01:23:02,358 That does it. Usher! 1235 01:23:02,535 --> 01:23:04,628 - Get him out of here... - You're not gonna let me sing? 1236 01:23:04,804 --> 01:23:07,533 Why don't you stop it? If you have any talent, come on down here. 1237 01:23:07,706 --> 01:23:11,607 OK. It's easier looking at the audience than at you. 1238 01:23:20,649 --> 01:23:22,172 Get off the stage. 1239 01:23:22,383 --> 01:23:24,442 I hope you're satisfied with the way you embarrassed me 1240 01:23:24,619 --> 01:23:25,711 in front of everybody. 1241 01:23:25,920 --> 01:23:28,046 Lookit, the whole audience is staring at me. 1242 01:23:28,221 --> 01:23:30,086 Stare back at them. 1243 01:23:30,256 --> 01:23:31,917 No, better they stare at you. 1244 01:23:32,091 --> 01:23:34,820 Go on, get off the stage, and take this with you. 1245 01:23:35,593 --> 01:23:36,821 - All right, I'll go. - Get off. 1246 01:23:36,995 --> 01:23:38,189 - But you'll be sorry. - Get off! 1247 01:23:38,362 --> 01:23:40,091 - I'll get even with you. - Get off the stage! 1248 01:23:40,264 --> 01:23:41,856 I don't know how or when, but I will, boy. 1249 01:23:47,669 --> 01:23:50,796 Just one more chance 1250 01:23:52,406 --> 01:23:56,637 To prove it's you alone I care for 1251 01:23:57,277 --> 01:24:00,302 Each night I say a little prayer for 1252 01:24:02,014 --> 01:24:04,982 Just one more chance 1253 01:24:05,383 --> 01:24:07,043 I'm busy! 1254 01:24:07,217 --> 01:24:10,947 I've learned the meaning Of repentance 1255 01:24:11,720 --> 01:24:16,179 Now you're the jury at my trial 1256 01:24:16,491 --> 01:24:20,859 I know that I should serve My sentence 1257 01:24:21,228 --> 01:24:26,096 Still I'm hoping all the while You'll give me 1258 01:24:26,866 --> 01:24:30,130 Just one more word 1259 01:24:30,869 --> 01:24:34,065 I said that I was glad To start out 1260 01:24:35,705 --> 01:24:39,970 But now I'm back To cry my heart out 1261 01:24:40,142 --> 01:24:43,736 For just one more chance 1262 01:24:53,252 --> 01:24:58,450 Mr. Miller! Mr. Miller! Mr. Miller, get me down! Help me down! 1263 01:24:58,623 --> 01:25:02,114 Mr. Miller! Mr. Miller! 1264 01:25:40,121 --> 01:25:43,783 - Just one more chance - Look what I got for you. 1265 01:25:43,957 --> 01:25:46,823 To prove it's you alone I care for 1266 01:25:46,993 --> 01:25:48,516 I picked it just for you out of my garden 1267 01:25:48,727 --> 01:25:51,355 Each night I say a little prayer for 1268 01:25:51,529 --> 01:25:53,325 Look at all the trouble I went through to get it 1269 01:25:53,497 --> 01:25:55,590 Just one more chance 1270 01:25:55,766 --> 01:25:58,734 Just one more night 1271 01:25:58,901 --> 01:26:02,427 To taste the kisses that enchant me 1272 01:26:02,904 --> 01:26:07,135 - I'd want no others if you'd grant me - What? 1273 01:26:07,308 --> 01:26:10,743 Just one more chance 1274 01:26:11,645 --> 01:26:14,306 I've learned the meaning Of repentance 1275 01:26:14,480 --> 01:26:16,505 I'm glad because I spoke to the fellows last year 1276 01:26:16,682 --> 01:26:17,841 and how they felt... 1277 01:26:18,016 --> 01:26:22,452 - Now, you're the jury at my trial - Your Honor, this man had a murder... 1278 01:26:22,619 --> 01:26:25,416 I know that I should serve My sentence 1279 01:26:25,588 --> 01:26:28,318 It's gonna be all right, Rockie. You gotta have faith in your attorney 1280 01:26:28,491 --> 01:26:31,254 I spoke to Fred Sunday and he said if he can get you out... 1281 01:26:31,426 --> 01:26:35,327 Still I'm hoping all the while You'll give me 1282 01:26:35,529 --> 01:26:37,428 What, what? 1283 01:26:37,597 --> 01:26:40,395 - Just one more word - Word. 1284 01:26:40,566 --> 01:26:43,295 W-O-R-D. Spelled backwards, "Drow". 1285 01:26:43,468 --> 01:26:45,992 Spelled backwards, "Drow". 1286 01:26:47,271 --> 01:26:50,706 I said that I was glad To start out 1287 01:26:50,874 --> 01:26:53,240 - What made you come back? - Well, Mother said if I came back, 1288 01:26:53,409 --> 01:26:55,206 she'd give me the car, so I... 1289 01:26:55,377 --> 01:26:58,402 But now I'm back To cry my heart out 1290 01:26:58,579 --> 01:26:59,876 I know how you feel. Don't cry, 1291 01:27:00,048 --> 01:27:03,448 because it's those feelings of a man who certainly... 1292 01:27:04,084 --> 01:27:07,018 Oh, just one more chance 1293 01:27:07,186 --> 01:27:09,484 I hear you talking, babe 1294 01:27:09,654 --> 01:27:12,817 Say just one more chance 1295 01:27:20,329 --> 01:27:22,220 I'm sorry. 1296 01:27:23,298 --> 01:27:25,095 Excuse me. 1297 01:27:27,001 --> 01:27:29,629 - How are they? - How are they, how are they? 1298 01:27:29,804 --> 01:27:32,670 Wait till you see what they said about me. 1299 01:27:34,173 --> 01:27:37,301 Look at this. "New Revue Smash Hit." 1300 01:27:37,876 --> 01:27:40,844 Here. "One of the highlights of the evening was the box act 1301 01:27:41,012 --> 01:27:43,206 "of Bill Miller and Ted Rogers. 1302 01:27:43,380 --> 01:27:46,076 "It's a long time since Broadway has seen a fellow 1303 01:27:46,248 --> 01:27:47,875 "as funny as the man in the box. 1304 01:27:48,884 --> 01:27:50,908 "And, incidentally, though he wasn't billed anywhere 1305 01:27:51,086 --> 01:27:53,554 "in the theater last night, his name is Ted Rogers. 1306 01:27:53,722 --> 01:27:55,746 "Make a note, everybody: Ted Rogers." 1307 01:27:55,923 --> 01:27:57,584 Well, how about a drink, everybody? 1308 01:27:57,758 --> 01:28:00,555 That's a good idea. Go ahead, Bill, you make the toast. 1309 01:28:01,194 --> 01:28:04,458 I'd like to propose a toast to a wonderful guy: 1310 01:28:04,763 --> 01:28:06,559 Mr. Sutherland. 1311 01:28:10,334 --> 01:28:12,801 Well, anyone like to dance with an agent? 1312 01:28:12,969 --> 01:28:14,993 Yes, I'd love to. 1313 01:28:22,143 --> 01:28:24,975 Hello, Mary. Sit down. 1314 01:28:28,581 --> 01:28:30,344 What's on your mind? 1315 01:28:30,750 --> 01:28:32,944 Leo, do you think Bill has any intention 1316 01:28:33,118 --> 01:28:36,575 of putting Ted's name up and recognizing him as a partner? 1317 01:28:39,455 --> 01:28:41,047 I don't either. 1318 01:28:41,224 --> 01:28:44,192 Never found that sweet, wonderful guy underneath, after all, huh, Mary? 1319 01:28:44,359 --> 01:28:48,226 Maybe there is a nice guy underneath, but I'm tired of digging. 1320 01:28:50,164 --> 01:28:51,721 Yes? 1321 01:28:52,799 --> 01:28:55,392 - It's Bill. He's outside. - I don't want him to know I'm here. 1322 01:28:55,567 --> 01:28:58,730 Just a minute. Come in here. 1323 01:29:05,509 --> 01:29:07,476 All right, send him in. 1324 01:29:09,311 --> 01:29:13,406 Well, Leo, looks like I hit the jackpot. You ever read such reviews? 1325 01:29:13,581 --> 01:29:15,242 Tell you what I want, Leo: 1326 01:29:15,916 --> 01:29:17,941 Full page ads, back page. 1327 01:29:18,118 --> 01:29:22,383 Variety, Billboard, all the trade papers in the country. Shoot the works. 1328 01:29:22,555 --> 01:29:23,782 Full-page picture of me... 1329 01:29:23,955 --> 01:29:26,048 - What about the kid? - What about him? 1330 01:29:26,224 --> 01:29:28,555 I think you ought to have his picture and his name on the ads, 1331 01:29:28,726 --> 01:29:31,126 - Right alongside of yours. - Well, I don't. 1332 01:29:31,295 --> 01:29:35,754 Everybody else does: critics, all your friends, even your wife. 1333 01:29:35,931 --> 01:29:38,695 Look, Leo, no critic's gonna tell me how to run my business. 1334 01:29:38,867 --> 01:29:40,390 Neither are my friends or my wife. 1335 01:29:40,701 --> 01:29:42,896 This is my act. Bill Miller, single-O. 1336 01:29:43,638 --> 01:29:46,105 The kid's all right. Nobody likes him better than I do. 1337 01:29:46,773 --> 01:29:48,933 There's something you wise guys don't understand. 1338 01:29:49,108 --> 01:29:52,076 Once that kid's name is mentioned, then he's no more part of the audience. 1339 01:29:52,243 --> 01:29:54,108 And when that happens, he stops being funny. 1340 01:29:54,579 --> 01:29:56,375 You're right, and I'd agree with you 100 percent 1341 01:29:56,547 --> 01:29:58,981 if the kid was an ordinary stooge. But he's not. 1342 01:29:59,149 --> 01:30:00,308 He's half your act. 1343 01:30:00,483 --> 01:30:01,711 Sure, and he's gone over that way 1344 01:30:01,884 --> 01:30:04,182 because he's still a member of the audience. Unknown. 1345 01:30:04,352 --> 01:30:05,944 Look, Bill, you're a phenomenon. 1346 01:30:07,155 --> 01:30:10,885 I've handled hundreds of actors in my time but you take all the prizes. 1347 01:30:11,392 --> 01:30:13,791 You're a ham with a double M. 1348 01:30:15,328 --> 01:30:17,158 - What's that? - It's our contract. 1349 01:30:17,663 --> 01:30:19,528 - Are you serious? - Yep. 1350 01:30:20,765 --> 01:30:22,756 I woke up this morning and it suddenly occurred to me, 1351 01:30:22,934 --> 01:30:24,764 you have to let the other fellow live. 1352 01:30:24,968 --> 01:30:27,960 Unless you do, the whole thing is nothing. 1353 01:30:28,271 --> 01:30:32,865 All my life, I've wanted to do one thing as a matter of principle. 1354 01:30:33,208 --> 01:30:36,041 Well, today, I am a man. 1355 01:30:38,345 --> 01:30:40,438 That was a mighty pretty speech you just made. 1356 01:30:40,614 --> 01:30:43,013 - What's going on here? - But yours wasn't. 1357 01:30:43,182 --> 01:30:45,615 Your little speech was petty and kind of cheap. 1358 01:30:45,784 --> 01:30:48,218 I'm surprised you didn't cancel him a long time ago, Leo. 1359 01:30:48,420 --> 01:30:50,387 Well, if that's the way he feels, I don't need him. 1360 01:30:50,554 --> 01:30:52,613 You're right, Bill. You don't need him, either. 1361 01:30:52,790 --> 01:30:54,689 And every day it'll be someone else you don't need. 1362 01:30:54,858 --> 01:30:57,189 And one night, you'll be sitting around all by yourself 1363 01:30:57,359 --> 01:30:59,190 in front of a pile of your own photographs. 1364 01:30:59,528 --> 01:31:02,519 Well, from now on, you may consider our contract at an end. 1365 01:31:03,064 --> 01:31:05,531 Mary, you don't mean that. 1366 01:31:32,686 --> 01:31:34,983 Well, what's the matter with you? 1367 01:31:35,555 --> 01:31:39,422 - Oh, nothing. - Come on. What is it? 1368 01:31:41,360 --> 01:31:44,089 - I don't know if I should say it. - Go ahead and say it. 1369 01:31:48,732 --> 01:31:50,392 What are you gonna do about Mary, Bill? 1370 01:31:50,566 --> 01:31:54,126 - You got any ideas? - No. 1371 01:31:54,602 --> 01:31:56,763 Except I don't think you ought to let her go away. 1372 01:31:56,938 --> 01:32:00,600 - It's a free country, isn't it? - Sure, Bill. 1373 01:32:00,774 --> 01:32:03,173 But she loves you, and if there's something wrong, 1374 01:32:03,342 --> 01:32:07,141 I think you ought to go to her and try and straighten it out. 1375 01:32:08,480 --> 01:32:10,106 Maybe it's none of my business, but... 1376 01:32:10,281 --> 01:32:13,808 That's right. It's none of your business. 1377 01:32:16,085 --> 01:32:19,542 - Yeah, maybe it's not. - So shut up. 1378 01:32:23,491 --> 01:32:27,654 You know, I think you had a lot to do with Mary leaving me. 1379 01:32:27,827 --> 01:32:29,055 Oh, don't say that, Bill. 1380 01:32:29,229 --> 01:32:33,665 All that stuff about anything I do is OK with you. 1381 01:32:34,166 --> 01:32:37,464 I knock my brains out trying to make something of myself. 1382 01:32:37,635 --> 01:32:41,468 And you, you with your checkered suit. 1383 01:32:41,705 --> 01:32:43,103 What do I get for it? 1384 01:32:43,272 --> 01:32:45,968 You're talking crazy, Bill. You shouldn't be thinking that way. 1385 01:32:46,142 --> 01:32:48,666 - I don't like to hear it. - You don't like it? 1386 01:32:48,877 --> 01:32:51,572 Well, that's tough. I don't like it. 1387 01:32:51,745 --> 01:32:54,373 I'm sick and tired of looking at you anyway. 1388 01:32:57,583 --> 01:32:59,516 You really mean that? 1389 01:33:03,087 --> 01:33:04,987 OK, Bill. 1390 01:33:08,758 --> 01:33:10,521 I'll move out of the apartment tonight. 1391 01:33:10,694 --> 01:33:13,093 That makes two of us. 1392 01:33:14,797 --> 01:33:16,491 Bye, Bill. 1393 01:33:17,765 --> 01:33:19,595 Don't drink too much. 1394 01:33:19,766 --> 01:33:22,394 Remember, you've got a show to do tonight. 1395 01:33:26,839 --> 01:33:30,205 You bet I've got a show to do. I'll show everybody. 1396 01:33:33,811 --> 01:33:36,108 Gee, Mary, I wish you weren't going to Europe. 1397 01:33:36,279 --> 01:33:40,009 Thanks, Frecklehead, but it'll be good for me to get away. 1398 01:33:40,182 --> 01:33:43,310 Doctors say nothing like an ocean voyage... 1399 01:33:44,518 --> 01:33:47,782 - Answer it, please. - Sure. 1400 01:33:50,857 --> 01:33:52,414 Hello? 1401 01:33:52,891 --> 01:33:55,791 Oh, just a minute, Mr. Sutherland. It's Sutherland. 1402 01:33:55,960 --> 01:33:57,552 I'll take it. 1403 01:33:58,930 --> 01:34:00,260 Hello, Mr. Sutherland. 1404 01:34:00,430 --> 01:34:04,229 Mary, I hate to bother you, but we've quite a problem. 1405 01:34:04,400 --> 01:34:07,460 Bill's insisting upon going on, but there's no Ted. 1406 01:34:07,636 --> 01:34:10,695 He and the kid have broken up. I can't find him anywhere. 1407 01:34:10,905 --> 01:34:12,462 And Bill wants to do a single. 1408 01:34:12,639 --> 01:34:15,164 Bill's all right. He's just been trying to prove something 1409 01:34:15,342 --> 01:34:17,400 since the day he was born. 1410 01:34:17,977 --> 01:34:21,104 Mr. Sutherland, would you do me one big favor? 1411 01:34:21,380 --> 01:34:22,938 Let Bill do his single. 1412 01:34:23,115 --> 01:34:24,945 But, Mary, that's too risky. 1413 01:34:25,683 --> 01:34:29,209 One act would never make or break the Sutherland Revue, 1414 01:34:29,386 --> 01:34:32,253 but it might make or break a great guy. 1415 01:34:32,454 --> 01:34:34,922 Please, Mr. Sutherland. For me? 1416 01:34:35,124 --> 01:34:38,615 For his sake? Let him go on. 1417 01:34:39,193 --> 01:34:41,387 So this panhandler walked over to me and said, 1418 01:34:41,561 --> 01:34:44,586 "I haven't had a bite in three days." So I bit him. 1419 01:34:45,498 --> 01:34:48,331 Which reminds me, I was standing in front of the Hotel Astor... 1420 01:34:48,501 --> 01:34:51,333 That's where I live, in front of the Hotel Astor... 1421 01:34:52,003 --> 01:34:53,230 When my wife came up to see me. 1422 01:34:53,404 --> 01:34:55,235 You know, my wife and I were gonna get a divorce, 1423 01:34:55,406 --> 01:34:57,896 but we couldn't figure out who got the custody of her mother. 1424 01:34:59,809 --> 01:35:02,038 Which reminds me, I took my mother-in-law to the beach, 1425 01:35:02,210 --> 01:35:04,235 but the only thing that got sunburned was her tongue. 1426 01:35:20,058 --> 01:35:23,185 Ladies and gentlemen, I want to apologize. 1427 01:35:23,960 --> 01:35:28,020 This is the Sutherland Revue... 1428 01:35:28,330 --> 01:35:30,490 ...which is supposed to bring you the finest entertainment 1429 01:35:30,665 --> 01:35:32,360 that can be offered. 1430 01:35:33,034 --> 01:35:35,263 You've heard of an act, Bill Miller. 1431 01:35:35,436 --> 01:35:37,460 And Bill Miller is me. 1432 01:35:37,937 --> 01:35:39,564 But I'm only half an act. 1433 01:35:40,440 --> 01:35:44,603 The fellow that made the act work is a little guy by the name of... 1434 01:35:44,876 --> 01:35:46,740 ...Ted Rogers. 1435 01:35:46,977 --> 01:35:49,207 And he isn't here tonight. 1436 01:35:49,979 --> 01:35:53,506 I can play an accordion and sing a song. 1437 01:35:53,949 --> 01:35:57,180 But I need that spark, that something... 1438 01:35:57,352 --> 01:36:00,878 ...the chemistry that makes two men a successful team. 1439 01:36:02,222 --> 01:36:06,351 I've bored you, and I've imposed upon you. 1440 01:36:07,359 --> 01:36:10,088 I've done an injustice to an audience. 1441 01:36:11,129 --> 01:36:14,222 This is the biggest sin in show business. 1442 01:36:14,398 --> 01:36:16,229 To be a ham. 1443 01:36:17,234 --> 01:36:19,633 I humbly apologize. 1444 01:36:21,170 --> 01:36:24,696 - Who's your little whozis? - None of your business... 1445 01:36:28,542 --> 01:36:30,702 Who's your turtledove? 1446 01:36:37,116 --> 01:36:39,583 Who's your turtledove? 1447 01:36:42,319 --> 01:36:46,778 - Who's your turtledove? - Who's your turtledove? 1448 01:36:46,956 --> 01:36:52,052 Who's your little whozis? Who do you love? 1449 01:36:52,227 --> 01:36:54,024 You mean you finally learned the words? 1450 01:36:54,195 --> 01:36:55,252 Listen to this. 1451 01:36:55,496 --> 01:36:57,987 Who's your little whatzis? 1452 01:36:58,165 --> 01:36:59,756 Not bad, huh? 1453 01:36:59,932 --> 01:37:02,025 That you're dreaming of 1454 01:37:02,201 --> 01:37:04,134 I've been paying attention too. 1455 01:37:04,302 --> 01:37:09,796 Who's your little whozis? Who do you love? 1456 01:37:09,974 --> 01:37:11,998 - Take it, boy. - No, you take it. 1457 01:37:12,175 --> 01:37:17,043 Tell me who has you aflutter 1458 01:37:17,212 --> 01:37:21,443 Whenever they're passing by 1459 01:37:23,717 --> 01:37:27,447 Melts your heart like butter 1460 01:37:27,620 --> 01:37:31,578 Oh, me, oh, my 1461 01:37:31,756 --> 01:37:34,691 Say, when you get the blueses 1462 01:37:34,859 --> 01:37:37,019 When you get the blueses 1463 01:37:37,194 --> 01:37:41,391 - Who you thinking of? - Who you thinking of? 1464 01:37:41,564 --> 01:37:44,464 - Who's your little whozis? - Who's your little whozis? 1465 01:37:44,633 --> 01:37:47,499 Who do you love? 1466 01:38:33,536 --> 01:38:36,299 Who's your little whozis? 1467 01:38:36,471 --> 01:38:39,531 A girl named Mary 1468 01:38:40,641 --> 01:38:44,077 And a boy named Bill 1469 01:38:45,378 --> 01:38:48,244 Who's your turtledove? 1470 01:38:50,316 --> 01:38:54,308 - It's so wonderful - It's so wonderful 1471 01:38:54,485 --> 01:38:58,147 - To be in love - To be in love 1472 01:38:58,322 --> 01:39:02,655 - With you - With you