[grand music]
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[low music]
[grand music]
[high-pitched whistle blowing]
[man on PA] Now hear this.
Reveille.
I repeat.
Reveille.
Attention, all hands.
Because another cigarette butt
has been found in the container of the captain's palm tree,
there will be no movies again tonight.
[men grumbling]
That is all.
All right, hit the deck.
Rise and shine. Greet the new day.
Off your hock and grab your sock.
Reveille. Reveille.
[man] Okay, Chief, you done your duty.
Now get your big, fat can out of here.
[low music]
[man on PA] Now hear this.
C and E and S divisions
and all pharmacist mates
will air bedding today.
Positively.
That you, Doug?
Hello, Doc. What are you doing up so early?
Well, I heard you were working cargo today,
so I thought I'd get ready.
Days when there's any work to be done,
I can always count on a big turnout at sick call.
Oh, yeah.
I attract some very rare diseases on cargo days.
That day when they knew you had five ships to load,
I was greeted with six more cases of beriberi.
Double beriberi this time.
So help me, I'm going down to the ship's library
and throw that old copy of Moby Dick overboard.
What are you giving them these days
for double beriberi?
Aspirin, what else?
Is something wrong, Doug?
Nah.
Ah, we missed you when you went on watch last night.
I gave young Ensign Pulver
another drink of alcohol and orange juice,
and it inspired him to relate further amorous feats of his.
Did he tell you about the time he overwhelmed
a 45-year-old maiden...
with the simple tactic of being the first man
in her life to ask her a direct question?
[chuckles]
No, but some of the things he related
positively bordered on the supernatural.
I don't know what to do about young Pulver.
Perhaps I should report his record
to the American Medical Association, hmm?
Hey, there is something wrong, isn't there?
I've been up all night, Doc.
Yeah?
What's the matter? What is it?
I saw something last night
that just about knocked me out.
What happened?
I was up on the bridge.
I was just standing there looking out to sea.
I couldn't bear to look at that island anymore.
All of a sudden, I noticed something.
Little black specks crawling across the horizon.
I looked through the glasses,
and it was a formation of our ships
that stretched for miles.
Carriers and battleships and cans,
the whole task force, Doc.
Why didn't you bring me out?
I've never seen a battleship.
They came on and passed within a half a mile of that reef.
Carriers so big, they blacked out half the sky.
Battle wagons sliding along dead quiet.
I could see the men on the bridges.
And this is what knocked me out, Doc.
Somehow... I thought I was on those bridges.
I thought I was riding west across the Pacific.
I watched them till they were out of sight, Doc,
and I was right there on those bridges all the time.
Yeah, I know how that must have hurt, Doug.
Then I looked down from our bridge
and saw our Captain's palm tree,
our trophy for superior achievement,
the Admiral John J Finchley award
for delivering more toothpaste and toilet paper
than any other Navy cargo ship
in the safe area of the Pacific.
Read this, Doc, see how it sounds.
- What is it? - My application for transfer.
I've been rewriting it ever since I got off watch last night.
Not another one?
This one's different, Doc.
I'm trying something new, a stronger wording.
Read it carefully.
"From Lieutenant JG Douglas Roberts
to Bureau of Naval Personnel,
sixteen April, 1945,
Subject, change of duty, request for."
Boy, this is sheer poetry.
Go on, Doc.
"For two years and four months,
I have served aboard this vessel as cargo officer.
I feel that my continued service aboard
can only reduce my usefulness to the Navy
and increase disharmony aboard this ship."
How about that?
"It is therefore urgently requested
that I be ordered to combat duty,
preferably aboard a destroyer."
What do you say, Doc? I got a chance, haven't I?
Listen, Doug, you've been sending in a letter every week
for goodness knows how long.
Not like this one.
And every week, the captain screams like a stuck pig,
disapproves your letter and forwards it that way.
That's just my point, Doc, he does forward them.
- Just because that... - Look, look...
The captain of a Navy ship
is the most absolute monarch left in this world.
I know that.
If he endorsed any of your letters "approved,"
your orders would come through like that.
But "disapproved,” you haven't a prayer.
You're stuck on this old bucket.
- Face it. - Aw, it's still a chance, Doc.
It's still a chance.
I'm sorry you ever saw that task force, Doug.
Well...
I've got to get down to my hypochondriacs.
[seagulls squawking]
Good morning, Mr. Roberts.
Good morning, Dowdy.
Hotter up here than it is down in that mess hall.
Ohh.
Look at that cruddy island.
Smell it.
It's so hot, it already smells like a hog pen.
You think we'll get out of here today, sir?
I don't know, Dowdy.
There are three LCMs coming alongside for supplies.
Getting up yet?
Yeah, they're starting to stumble around down there,
the poor, punch-drunk...
Mr. Roberts, when are you going to the captain again
and ask him to give this crew a liberty?
These guys ain't been off this ship for over a year, except on duty.
Dowdy, the last time I asked the captain
was last night.
What'd he say?
He said no.
We got to get these guys ashore.
They're going Asiatic.
When you see him again, anyhow, Mr. Roberts...
You know I will, Dowdy.
In the meantime, have Dolan type that up for me, will you?
Oh, your letter. Yes, sir.
[tense music]
[man on PA] Now hear this. Now hear this.
Sweepers, man your brooms.
Give her a clean sweep down fore and aft.
Sweep down all ladders and all passageways.
Do not throw trash over the fantail.
[music continues]
Now sick call will commence immediately.
[sighs]
Now.
Say, Doc, when I woke up this morning, I...
And remembered you were working cargo.
Continue.
Honest, Doc, I couldn't even straighten up.
I guess it's the old appendix again, huh, Doc?
[chuckles] That appendix of yours
certainly gets around, Reber.
Now it's on the wrong side.
Two aspirin. Marked for duty. Next.
Aspirin? For a floating appendix, Doc?
Yeah. It's the latest thing.
I'll have one with you. Next.
Well, where do you hurt?
It's my head, Doc. It's my head.
Dizzy?
Well, yeah, it's, uh, it's terrible.
Ringing in your ears?
Well, I mean, it's all the time, Doc.
Like bells?
That's it, Doc! Like bells!
Huh?
The Doc.
How do they go, dong dong,
ding ding, or ding dong?
It's important.
Um...
ding, uh... dong?!
- Oh. - Dong ding?
No second-guessing. Too bad.
Should go dong dong.
One aspirin, marked for duty.
[man on PA] There is now available at the ship's store
a small supply of peanut brittle.
Ship's store will be open from 1300 to 1315.
Insigna, got a real special job for you.
You stay right here and clean these binoculars for the bridge.
Oh, let me work up forward, Chief.
I don't want to be around this crud Mannion.
[chuckles] Yeah, Chief, take Insigna with you.
- Oh, get lost. - [Mannion] You dirty...
Cut it out, the both of you!
I'm tired of you two bellyaching.
Now go on, get scraping.
Hey, Stef, which end of these binoculars
you supposed to look through, huh?
Well, I guess it's optional, Insigna.
Depends on what size eyeball you got.
Hey, uh, what time would it be in San Francisco?
About midnight last night.
Midnight last night?
Hey, the Japs must have took over that island.
There's a red and white flag on that new building.
Japs? We ain't been within 5,000 miles of any Japs.
Japs. You hear that, Wily?
- Smart, ain't he? - Yeah.
[metal clangs]
That's a hospital flag.
Hey, Stef, hey, they got a fancy building on that island.
Yeah. Yeah, they got big windows and...
Holy cow!
Holy cow! They got nurses on that island!
That nurse! She's taking a shower!
[sultry music]
Yeah, look. Look, second story, second story.
See? She's a blonde, see?
- Get off my back! - Aw, knock it off!
[wolf whistles]
I never seen such a beautiful girl.
She's sure taking a long time in that shower.
Yeah, honey.
Come on over here by the window.
How do you use this thing?
Oh, there's another one over by the washbasin
taking a shampoo.
Aw! She's got her bathrobe on!
What a stupid way to take a shampoo, with a bathrobe on.
What's stupid about it? You think she wants...
- [wolf whistles] - Wow!
Please, fellas, come on.
Didn't I tell you she was beautiful?
Yeah, man.
I can't even see the island.
Oh, so long, blondie.
There goes the other one.
Imagine that pig not taking a shower.
[wolf whistles]
Aw, come on, girls.
Who's next?
I'm gettin' it.
Yeah! But there ain't no one in there now.
Here you are, Swede. Try mine.
They must think we got nothing better to do
than stand here.
You see anything, Swede?
No. You've been panting on the lens.
God, these glasses is gettin' heavy.
Yeah, we're wasting manpower. Let's take turns, okay?
Yeah. I'll take the first watch.
Okay.
[tense music]
Look.
[seagull squawking]
There goes a seagull.
Let me at 'em now, will ya?
Flash red!
[tapping warning signal]
[fast-paced music]
[tense music]
[sailor] See anything, Mannion?
They're gone.
Why, you dirty miserable cheat.
Aw, it's too bad.
There were three in a minute ago.
- One was just about to take a show... - You dirty peeping Tom!
Who's the peeping Tom?
[all shouting]
[dramatic music]
[whistle blows]
[shouting continues]
Knock it off.
Insigna, did you hear me? Knock it off.
Get out of here! Get out of here!
Drop that hammer, Insig...
I'll kill him! Do you hear me? I'll kill him!
Crud!
All right, get below, all of you.
Souse your heads.
Hold it right there, mister.
What's that man doing on deck without a shirt?
I was just speaking to him about that, Captain.
I want that man put on report.
I don't want no one on deck without a shirt.
Is that clearly understood?
All right, all right. Keep your shirt on.
All of you.
You seen that, sir?
Last night, down in the compartment,
I stopped three of them fights. Worse than that.
They got to have a liberty, Mr. Roberts.
Eh, they sure do.
Dowdy, call a boat for me, will you?
I'm going ashore.
- What are you gonna do? - I just got a new angle.
You're not going over the captain's head?
No. I'm going around his end, I hope.
Get the lead out, Dowdy.
♪ If I could be with you one hour tonight ♪
♪ If I was free to do the things I might ♪
♪ I'm telling you true ♪
♪ I'd be anything but blue ♪
♪ If I could be with you ♪
Hey, what's new, Doug boy?
I'm gonna take a launch over to the island.
Over to the island?
Hey, uh, how'd you like some company, Doug?
I'll go get some aspirin for Doc,
you know, at that new hospital they're starting to build?
What's the matter?
Why, Frank Thurlowe Pulver.
Huh?
You mean to say you'd be willing to unglue yourself from that sack
for the purpose of doing a favor for someone else?
Now, let's just not have any more
of that usual attitude towards Pulver, boy.
I said one simple thing. I'd be perfect...
- Okay, Frank. Okay. Hurry up. - Well, okay.
[humming]
Just in case, Pulver boy. Just in case.
[Pulver humming]
♪ I could be with you one hour tonight ♪
[humming]
♪ Ho ho, if I could be with you one hour tonight ♪
See you later, Doug boy.
[Roberts] Okay.
♪ If I could be with you, I'd love you strong ♪
♪ If I could be with you, I'd love you long ♪
♪ I want you to know I wouldn't go ♪
♪ Until I told you, honey, why I loved you so ♪
♪ If I could be with you one hour tonight ♪
♪ If I was free to do the things I might ♪
♪ I'm telling you true, I'd be anything but blue ♪
♪ If l, if I could be with you ♪
♪ Oh, ho! If I could... ♪
[smooth music]
[metal bangs]
[woman] Hey.
Ah. Welcome aboard.
Oh, my goodness! Attention!
Wow, this is gonna be all right.
You girls just got in here, huh? Where you from?
No, don't tell me. Let me guess.
Hey, how many of you girls are there?
Captain, aren't you gonna answer our salute?
Answer?
Sure, yeah. If it'll make you feel any happier. Yeah.
We thought maybe we were doing it wrong, Captain.
You see, we haven't had much experience.
Well, that's wonderful. [chuckles]
Is that your battleship in the harbor, Captain?
Oh, not exactly, no.
Is there anything you want?
I mean, anything in particular?
No. Uh, nothing, uh, I can think of...
in particular.
Oh, aspirin. What am I saying? Aspirin.
I got a requisition right here.
Aspirin, right here.
All right. Right this way.
Get back to work, men.
Carry on there, men.
I, uh...
you know, I'm actually not captain of that AK.
Oh, no kidding?
I'm, uh, the exec.
Certainly must have a lot of BF.
Who me? What do you mean, B... me?
Battle fatigue, with all this aspirin.
Oh.
Seen a lot of action?
Well, I, uh...
sure as heck haven't seen much action this past year.
[laughs]
You mean battle action.
Well, I got a little shrapnel in my left leg,
but it's... it gives me a twinge now and then.
Well, I hear that scotch works wonders.
You like scotch?
I was acquiring a taste for it before they shipped us out.
- Here's your aspirin. - Uh, thanks.
Would you, uh...
like to come out to the ship this afternoon?
Sorry.
'Cause it just so happens
I have a bottle of Red Label in my cabin.
Have the shore boat at the dock at 1800 minus 10.
Oh, will I? 1800 minus 10.
Let's see, 12, 19. [muttering]
- That's 10 minutes to six. - Yeah.
[Pulver] Oh, I see I caught your interest. [chuckles]
I... well, I don't want these other girls to hear,
but if you were to come over alone this afternoon...
Here's your letter, Mr. Roberts. I typed it up.
Just sign your old John Henry here,
and I'll take it to the captain.
Then hold your ears.
Mr. Roberts?
Oh, it's only you, Ensign Pulver.
What are you doing in Mr. Roberts' locker?
There's a shoe box in there somewhere, Dolan.
I can't find it.
Well, it was stolen, that's all.
There's just nothing they'll stop at.
Broken right into the sanctity of a man's own locker.
Hey, Mr. Roberts back from the island yet?
Yeah. No. I don't know.
Well, as soon as he gets back,
have him sign this baby.
What is it?
It's the best letter Mr. Roberts's writ yet.
It's gonna blow the old man right through the overhead.
This letter's liable to get him transferred.
Let me see that.
Get a load of this line. Right here.
"Increased disharmony aboard this ship"?
Ain't that a kick?
Oh, I can't wait to jab this baby in the old man's face.
You know how he gets sick to his stomach
when he gets extra mad at Mr. Roberts?
- Yeah. - [chuckles]
When I deliver this letter,
I'm gonna take along a waste basket.
Let me know when Mr. Roberts gets back.
Mm-hmm.
Well, he mustn't...
[door closes in distance]
[Roberts] It was the most vicious fight
you ever saw in your life.
And after Dowdy and I broke up the fight,
I figured I had to do something
and do it right away.
Hey, Frank, Dolan been in here with my letter?
I don't know, Doug boy.
I just came in here myself.
Doug, you don't know anyone on that island, do you?
Yeah. The port director.
The guy who decides where to send this ship next.
A liberty port, for instance.
Dowdy tipped me off,
he used to drink a quart of scotch every day of his life.
Doug, you didn't give that shoe box to that port director?
I did, compliments of the captain.
You've been hoarding a quart of scotch in a shoe box?
I was gonna break it out the day I get off this ship.
Resurrection day.
You wasted that bottle of scotch on a man?
Will you name me another sex within a thousand miles?
What's eating you anyway, Frank?
Well, look at the fancy pillows.
Somebody expecting company?
Good Lord.
"Toujours I'amour.
Souvenir of San Diego.
Oh you kid!"
"Tonight or never.
Compliments of the American Harvester Company.
We plow deep while others sleep.”
Doc... that new hospital hasn't got nurses, has it?
It didn't have yesterday.
It has today.
And how did you find out they were there?
Just came to me all of a sudden.
I was lying in my bunk here this morning,
uh, thinking,
and there wasn't a breath of air.
Then all of a sudden, a funny thing happened.
A little breeze came up.
And I took a big, deep breath,
and I said to myself,
"Pulver boy, there's women on that island.”
Doc... you know a thing like that
could make a bird dog real self-conscious?
They flew in last night.
Knockouts, and one big blonde especially, see.
Of course she went for me right away, naturally,
so I started to turn on the old personality, you know.
And I said, "Isn't there anything in the world
that'll make you come out to the ship with me?"
And she says, "Ye... " She said, "Yes,
There is one thing and one thing only.
A good stiff drink of scotch.”
I'm sorry, Frank.
- Oh, yeah, you're sorry. - I'm really sorry.
Your first assignment in a year.
I was gonna bring her right in here.
Had all my old pillows out.
Slip her a couple of fast slugs of scotch, and, ooh,
without that scotch, she wouldn't...
she just wouldn't, that's all.
Doc...
let's make some scotch.
Scotch?
As Naval officers, we're supposed to be resourceful.
Frank here's got a great opportunity,
and I've let him down. Let's fix him up.
Right.
Frank, where's the rest of that alcohol we were drinking last night?
Well, now, that ain't even the right color.
Quiet, boy.
Color.
Coke. You got any?
I haven't seen a Coke in four months.
No, it's five months.
Mmm.
Ho ho.
I forgot I had it.
Uh, what shade would you like it?
Shade?
Pale? Smoky?
Oh, well, I told her Red Label.
Hmm.
Red Label.
Yeah, well, it may look it. It sure won't taste like it.
Doc...
what does scotch taste like?
Why, it tastes like, uh...
uh...
You know what it's always tasted a little like to me?
Iodine.
Of course.
One drop of iodine...
for taste.
Let me try that.
This calls for a medical opinion.
How about it?
We're on the right track.
Now we need a little something extra for age.
What have you got there, Doug?
Seltzer,
Bismolino, fruit salts,
hair tonic...
Hair tonic.
That's got a coal-tar base.
One drop of hair tonic...
for age.
That'll age the daylights out of it.
That's it.
You know, it does taste a little like scotch.
You know, it does.
Smooth! That dumb little blonde will never know the difference!
All right, Frank,
Doug and I made the scotch.
- The nurse is your department. - Oh!
♪ She won't know the difference ♪
Thank you, Doc.
♪ She'll never know the difference ♪
No, you won't know the difference, will you, baby?
No, you won't.
Oh, no, you won't.
Ahh. Thank you, Doc. Thanks, Doug.
Gee, you guys are wonderful to me.
Ah, don't mention it, Frank.
I think you almost deserve it.
You do? Really?
Or you just giving me the old needle again?
What... what do you really think of me, Doug?
Honestly.
Frank...
I like you.
There's no getting around the fact
you're a real likable guy.
Yeah? Yeah.
[Roberts] But...
But what?
Well, I also think you're the most hapless...
lazy...
disorganized, and in general,
the most lecherous person I've ever known in my life.
I am not!
You're not what?
I'm not disorganized, for one thing!
Have you ever in your life finished one thing you started out to do?
You sleep 16 hours a day.
You pretend you want me to improve your mind...
You've never finished one book I've given you to read.
- I finished God's Little Acre, Doug boy. - I didn't give you that.
He's been reading God's Little Acre for over a year now.
He's underlined every erotic passage,
and added exclamation points.
And after a certain pornographic climax,
he's inserted the words "well written."”
You're the laundry and morale officer.
I doubt if you've ever seen the laundry!
I was down there only last week!
And you're scared of the captain.
I am not scared of the captain!
Then why do you hide in the passageway every time you see him coming?
You're scared of him!
I am not.
I'm scared of myself.
I'm scared of what I might do to him.
[laughing] What you might do to him?
Doc, he lies in his sack all day long,
bores me silly with great moronic plots against the captain.
He's never carried out one of them.
- [Pulver] I haven't, huh? - No, Frank, you haven't.
Whatever happened to those marbles
you were gonna put in the captain's overhead
so they'd roll around all night and keep him awake?
Now you've gone too far.
Now you've asked for it.
[rattling]
What does that look like?
Five marbles.
Got another one in my pocket.
Six...
marbles.
[rattling]
I'm looking for marbles all day long!
Frank...
you asked me what I thought of you.
Well, I'll tell you.
The day you finish one thing you've started out to do,
the day you actually put those marbles in the captain's overhead,
and then have the guts to knock on his door
and say, "Captain, I put those marbles there,”
that's the day I'll have some respect for you.
That's the day I'll look up to you as a man.
Okay?
Okay.
Where is Dolan with my letter?
- I'm gonna go find him. - Wait a minute, Doug. Listen.
I... I wouldn't send a letter like that if I were you, boy.
You're gonna get yourself in trouble
saying things like "disharmony aboard this ship."
Uh, you know, [stammers] if you did say "disharmony” or "harmony"...
Where's that letter?
Well, I don't know, Doug. Ohh...
What's the big idea?
I just wanted to talk to you before you signed it.
Please don't sign that letter, Doug.
Now, please don't. They'll transfer you.
You'll get your can shot off, boy.
Doc, will you tell him what you were telling me last night
about how stupid he is?
Yes, Doc.
Maybe you'd like to tell me to my face.
Yes, I would.
You are stupid, Doug, and I can prove it.
You quit medical school just to get into this thing
when you could be saving lives today. Why?
Has it ever occurred to you that the guys who are fighting this war
might also be saving lives?
Yours and mine, for instance.
Right now, I'd rather practice that kind of medicine, Doctor.
Well, right now, that's exactly what you're doing.
Are you kidding?
Look, whether you like it or not,
this sorry, old bucket does a necessary job,
and you're the guy who keeps her lumbering along.
You know, it could be that right here on this bucket
you're deeper and more truly in this war than you'd ever...
Doc, in a minute you'll start quoting Ralph Waldo Emerson.
That is a lousy thing to say.
We've got nothing to do with the war.
Maybe that's why we're on this ship,
'cause we're not good enough to fight.
'Cause our glands don't secrete enough adrenaline
or our great, great grandmothers were afraid of the dark or something.
What is it you want to be, Doug, a hero?
Hero? Doc, you haven't heard a word I've said.
Look, Doc, the war's way out there, and I'm here.
Well, I don't want to be here. I want to be out there.
I'm sick and tired of being a lousy spectator.
I just happen to believe in this thing,
and I want to feel I'm good enough to be in it.
Good enough? Doug, you're good enough.
It's just that you haven't the opportunity.
That's mostly what makes physical heroism.
Opportunity.
It's a reflex.
I think that 75 out of 100 young males have that reflex.
You take any one of them,
say even Frank Thurlowe Pulver here,
put him into a B-29 over Japan,
and you know what you'd have?
No, I don't, Doctor.
You'd have Pulver, the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.
Pulver, who, single-handed, shot down 23 attacking Zeroes.
Pulver, who with his bare hands
held together the severed wing struts of his plane
and with his bare feet
successfully landed his mortally wounded plane
on his home field.
It's reflex.
It's like the knee-jerk.
Strike the patella tendon in any human being,
and you produce a knee-jerk.
Look.
What's the matter, Doc?
Nothing, but, uh,
stay out of B-29s, Frank, my boy.
You made your point very vividly, Doc,
but I still want to get in this thing.
And I'm gonna keep on sending in these letters until I do.
Yes, I know you are, Doug.
I haven't got much time.
That task force I saw was on its way to start our last big push in the Pacific.
I'm gonna catch it.
[man on PA] LCMs coming alongside.
Will Mr. Roberts report topside immediately?
Mr. Roberts, topside.
Doc...
what are you gonna give Doug for his birthday?
I hadn't thought of giving him anything.
I'm gonna show him he's got old Pulver figured out all wrong.
What does that look like to you, Doc?
Mmm. Just what it is.
The cardboard center of a roll of toilet paper.
I suppose it doesn't look like a firecracker.
No, not a bit like a firecracker.
And I suppose that doesn't look like a fuse.
Looks like a piece of string.
Uh-huh. Well, you just wait till old Pulver gets through with it.
Boy, I am gonna get me some black powder
from that gunner's mate, and I'm gonna... oh, no, sir.
No, sir, this is not gonna be any peanut of a firecracker,
I'm gonna pack that thing solid
with that stuff they use to blow up bridges!
Fulminate of mercury.
And, boy, on the night of Doug's birthday,
I'm gonna throw that under the old man's bunk
and bam, boy!
Bam! Ooh, bam!
Captain, it's me! It is I, ensign Pulver!
I just threw the firecracker under your stinking bunk!
[dramatic music]
Oh, Doug, the captain wants you to hang on to whatever fresh fruit you have left.
He wants it for his own mess.
Okay, Tom.
And you better get braced for a storm, Mr. Roberts.
Dolan took in your letter a while back.
[Dowdy] Stand by the bow line, ready to cast off!
[Roberts] You fellas squared away?
Yeah. Thanks, Lieutenant.
Say, you wouldn't want to swap movies, would ya?
[Roberts] Sure. What you got?
Hoot Gibson in The Sheriff's Daughter.
Shove off.
[man on PA] LCM number two, come alongside.
- [sailors shouting] - Hey, Chief!
Cochran just passed out.
[Dowdy] Get him up here.
Give to me here.
[talking indistinctly]
Easy, boy. Easy.
It's murder down there, Mr. Roberts.
Can't we take our shirts off?
Sure. Take them off.
Kennedy, give Mannion a hand,
get him back to sick bay.
Go on, take your shirts off.
- Thank you, sir. - Thanks, Mr. Roberts.
On the endboat, watch it!
Dowdy, get a fender over.
Watch it!
The captain wants to see you on the bridge, Mr. Roberts.
Tell him I'm busy.
Schlemmer, give him a hand on that line.
Watch it!
[men shouting]
This is what they want, Mr. Roberts.
"One ton dry stores,
one gross dungarees, twenty cartons toothpaste,
one quarter ton frozen food.
Fresh fruit if available.”
Scratch that.
They've been out two months.
No fresh fruit in two months?
No, sir.
Give them a couple of crates of oranges,
compliments of the captain.
[sailor] Sling ready, sir.
All right, take it away.
All right, mister.
We'll have this out right here and now.
What do you mean telling me you're too busy?
We were having trouble with the endboat, Captain.
You didn't want me to leave the deck with a ship coming in on us.
When I tell you I want to see you,
I mean now, mister!
I mean jump!
Understand?
Yes, sir. I'll remember that next time.
You better remember.
Now...
you think you're pretty cute with this letter, don't you?
Trying to get me in bad with the admiral.
No, I'm not, Captain.
What do you mean writing "disharmony aboard this ship"?
Because it's true, Captain.
Any disharmony aboard this ship is my own doing.
That's true, too, Captain.
And it ain't gonna be any letter that leaves this ship!
Any criticism of this ship,
stays on this ship.
I got a good reputation with the admiral,
and I ain't gonna lose it on account of any letter
that's written by some smart-aleck college officer.
Now...
you retype this, see...
and cut out that disharmony crack,
and I'll send it in.
But this is the last one,
understand?
Captain, every man in the Navy
has the right to send in a request for transfer.
No one can change the wording.
That's the Navy regulations.
How about that, Dolan?
That's what it says in the book, sir.
Well, it's a stupid regulation,
and we wouldn't stand for it in the Merchant Marine, I can tell you.
All right...
I'll send this one in just as it is.
But disapproved...
like I always do.
But there's one thing I don't have to send,
and that's a letter that hasn't been written.
And, mister,
I'm telling you here and now,
you ain't gonna write any more.
You bring me one more,
and you'll regret it the rest of your days.
You've got a job right here.
And, mister,
you ain't never gonna get off this ship.
Now...
get on with your work!
[winch whirring]
Where are your shirts?!
- Captain, one of the... - Shut up!
Answer me! Where are your shirts?
Get those shirts on and be quick about it!
I'm sorry. Put your shirts on.
Just one minute, mister!
Who's captain of this vessel?
That is the rankest piece of insubordination I ever seen!
You've been getting pretty smart lately,
buttering up to Mr. Roberts here.
But this time you have gone too far,
and I'm making you a little promise.
I am never going to forget this,
and as a starter,
you're on report.
Every one of you who appeared on deck without a shirt,
on report!
Captain, you're not putting these men on report.
What do you mean I'm not?
I'm responsible. I gave them permission.
You disobeyed my standing order?
Thanks a million for the fresh fruit, Lieutenant!
You gave that man oranges?!
Yes, sir, I'm afraid I did.
Ten days!
You just got yourself ten days in your quarters.
Ten days!
Very well, Captain. Do you relieve me here?
You heard me.
You get to your cabin before I make it 20 days.
Another endboat coming alongside, Mr. Roberts.
You want it port or starboard?
I've been relieved, Chief.
Where do you think you're going?
To my room, Captain, for 10 days,
or was it 20?
I'll tell you when to get to your cabin.
Get back to your job!
- Captain, you told me... - Never mind what I told you!
I'm telling you.
[Pulver humming]
Who's that? Who's that officer?
You, boy!
Me?
Yes, you. Come here.
Are you one of my officers?
Yes, sir.
What's your name again?
Ensign Pulver, sir.
Well...
I'm glad to see there's someone aboard this vessel
knows how to salute.
Pulver.
How is it I don't see you around much, Pulver?
I've often wondered the same myself, sir.
What's your job, Pulver?
Officer in charge of laundry and morale, sir.
How long have you been aboard, Pulver?
Fourteen months, sir.
Fourteen months?!
Oh, spend most of your time in the laundry, huh?
Well, uh, yes, sir. Most of the time.
Uh-huh. Yes, sir.
- Well, you do a very good job, Pulver. - Thank you, sir.
- Except for one thing. - Sir?
I don't like starch in my pajamas.
You'll watch out for that, won't you, Pulver?
Oh, yes, sir.
Fine.
Well, you're doing very good work, Pulver.
- [chuckles] - Yeah.
You must come to my cabin sometime
and have dinner.
- Oh, boy. - Cut it out! Cut it out, Doug.
- Now, knock it... knock it off. - Like to see more of you, Pulver.
- Oh, cut it out. He's got a nerve. - Like those salutes.
Wait till next week, Doug. You just wait.
Wait till next week, he gets his laundry. You wait and see.
Doug, I'm gonna get some starch.
You know, some of that real thick starch,
like they use on nurses unif...
♪ If I could be with you ♪
♪ I'd love you strong ♪
♪ If I could be with you ♪
♪ I'd love you long ♪
♪ Want you to know I wouldn't go ♪
[laughter]
And when old Roberts says that,
I thought the captain was gonna lose his marbles!
[laughter]
Ain't nothin' stops old Roberts. He's a...
[door opens]
Nice going, Mr. Roberts.
It was really beautiful the way you ran the old man off.
You gonna send in another letter next week, Mr. Roberts?
He sure is.
And it's my turn to shove it right under the old man's nose,
huh, Mr. Roberts?
Yeah, but you got a promotion coming up, haven't you?
Yeah, but could he stop that or something?
Promotion? This is Mr. Roberts.
You think he gives a good hoot about another lousy stripe?
[all shouting]
We gotta write a real hot one next week, huh, Mr. Roberts?
We'll use asbestos paper!
Yeah.
Jeez.
He'll fix the old man's clock.
You wait.
[all] Yeah.
[man on PA] All men
who have not been put on report for three weeks
can now go swimming for 10 minutes.
That is all.
[sailor 1] Over the side!
[sailor 2] Hey, wait up!
[sailor 3] Here we go! Hey! Swim time!
[sailor 4] Watch out there!
[romantic music]
Uh... [chuckles]
Eh, how do I look, huh?
Oh, you don't mind me borrowing your binoculars, do you, Doug?
It's okay, Frank. Will they get in your way?
[laughing]
[man on PA] Now hear this.
Station launch coming alongside.
She's here, she's here!
Now you guys stay away from that cabin, you hear?
[Pulver humming]
Last one in's an ensign!
Hey!
Whoo!
[men cheering and shouting]
[whistle blows]
Your permission to come aboard, sir?
- Huh? Yes, permission... - Where's the skipper?
- Uh, permission... well- - Never mind, I'll find him.
[bright music]
Well, uh...
Request permission to come aboard, sir.
Well, well. Permission granted.
- Hop aboard. - Hi.
I've got the hooch...
Request permission to come aboard, sir.
Huh? Uh, permission...
Request permission to come aboard, sir.
Well, that's all.
Cobina had to wash her hair,
but she'd just love to come another time.
Well, uh, how would you girls like to sorta look around the ship
while the lieutenant and I discuss a little business?
Uh-uh.
Hey, boys, the nurses!
- Yeah! - Let's go!
[chuckles] Well, I wouldn't think of leaving them unprotected.
Right this way.
Just... pardon me, huh? Right up there.
There you are.
Well.
That's it. There we are. Right here.
Now. Now, this is Doug, girls. Mr. Roberts.
- [nurses] Hi. - [Roberts] Hi.
Yeah, and he's my...
[nurse] Ensign Pulver, here, is executive officer.
What's your job?
Uh, he, uh...
Laundry and morale officer. Glad to have you aboard.
Oh, are you laundry and morale?
So am I.
Hey, well, then listen, Doug,
why don't you just take the girls off somewhere,
and tell them all about it, huh?
Gee, I wish I could, Frank, but I gotta clean up.
I did a lot of laundry today.
Sure.
Maybe Doc will show 'em surgery.
Uh... oh, Doc! Oh, yeah.
Well, uh, girls, this is our surgeon, Doc.
[nurses] Good evening, Doctor.
Yeah, and you just go right off with Doc.
Well, he... well, don't let the gray hair and baggy eyes bother you.
He's a very likable... Great sense of humor, Doc.
- Yeah. - [laughing] He's...
I'd be delighted to take these young ladies of the medical profession
through my surgery.
But unfortunately, we haven't had a chance to clean up
since our last enemy action.
- [laughter] - Come on. Let's see the ship.
[bright music]
- [nurse] Hi. - [Dowdy] Evening, ma"am.
- Evening. - Hi.
- Evening.
Uh, Flemish up the lines aft, there, will you, Dowdy?
What?
Yeah. New man.
[spits]
More salt, Cookie.
Put some more salt in there.
Now, girls, up here is where we have the...
Uh, anchor.
Follow me right up here, girls.
Flash red.
Hello, men. As you were.
Now, girls, this is the, uh...
And that's a gun.
- Oh, imagine that. - Is this the poopdeck?
Hey, you boys must be the lookouts. Can I borrow them, sailor?
Oh, sorry, sir, uh, they're top secret.
Yeah, top secret, ma'am.
Captain's orders, miss. You know, uh, bifocal.
- [sailors] Yeah. - Oh, well.
I can make an exception in your case.
Thank you.
Hey, Stef, look at the fish jumping over there, huh?
- Yeah, it's a whale! - Yeah.
A real interesting cloud formation.
- Oh, where? - You can see your hospital
right from over the rail, here.
- Why, thank you. - Ensign Pulver...
Huh?
Hey, I can.
Why you can almost reach out and...
[gasps]
[smooth music]
Oh.
Glasses.
Well, you certainly can see Cobina.
[bright music]
[nurse] Lieutenant, we gotta get back
and hang those window curtains right away.
Ten-hut!
Right face!
Forward march!
Hut, two, three, four.
So long, harmless.
And I was just getting the hang of this thing, too.
Yeah, and now we got nothing to look forward to.
Just that same cruddy island!
Look, you gotta rub it in? Why don't you shut up?
- You gonna make me? - Shut up, Insigna.
How did you find out...
Oh, we seen 'em taking a bath.
Through this glass, Mr. Roberts.
We could see all of them.
You heard what she said.
They're gonna hang some curtains.
Yeah.
Gee, them nurses was pretty to look at.
Well, they got a 10-minute boat ride.
You still got 10 minutes.
Yeah, but it wouldn't be any fun
when you know you're gonna be rushed.
This is the first real good day this bucket's ever had.
It's all over now.
Well, maybe you've got time then to listen to a little piece of news.
"When, in all respects, ready for sea
on or about 1600 today,
the AK-601 will proceed at 10 knots
via points x-ray, yoke, and zebra
to Elysium Island,
arriving there in seven days
and reporting to the port director for cargo assignment.
During its stay in Elysium,
the ship will make maximum use
of the recreational facilities of this port.”
But that means liberty.
That don't mean liberty, Mr. Roberts.
That's exactly what it means.
Somebody must've been drunk to send us to a liberty port.
Has the old man seen them orders?
Saw 'em before I did.
But Analysum? Where's that?
- Yeah, where's that, Mr. Roberts? "Elysium
is the largest of the Limbo Islands.
It's often referred to as the Polynesian Paradise.
Vanilla, sugar, cocoa, coffee, copper, mother-of-pearl,
phosphates, and rum are their chief exports.”
Rum! Did you hear that?
Ah, cut it out.
"Elysium City, its capital, is a beautiful metropolis
of palm-lined boulevards, handsome public buildings,
and colorful stucco homes.
Since 1900, its population has remained remarkably constant
at approximately 30,000."
Wait till we get there!
- [laughing] - Cut it out!
Mr. Roberts, go on.
Eh, there's a lot of stuff about ancient navigation and...
"Elysium Harbor...
offering excellent anchorage and docking facilities,
is surrounded on three sides by beautiful green, cloud-covered hills.
The natives are noted for their congeniality and hospitality.”
[people singing in native language]
[pleasant music]
[music and singing continue]
[sailor] Whoo!
Yoo-hoo!
[men whistling and yelling]
Boy, this is a nice port, huh, Mr. Roberts?
We finally made it, huh, Mr. Roberts?
Yeah.
[men whistling and yelling]
[music continues]
[indistinct chatter]
[speaking native language]
You! On deck!
Off!
Get them cannibals off this vessel!
Get them off!
[men yelling]
[men singing in native language]
[horn honking]
Chief, will you tie this?
It's been so long I sort of forgot.
It's all right.
What are you going to do when you get ashore, Bookser?
Kid'll probably go to the first saloon,
ice cream saloon, eh, Booksie?
I haven't thought much about it.
I got my camera Ma sent me.
Guess I'll just wander around.
Here.
[singing in native language]
Hey, Lindström.
I got good news for you.
You can take off them liberty whites.
I ain't got the duty tonight?
That's right.
You and Mr. Roberts got the duty tonight.
[Captain over PA] Now hear this.
Here we go! Here we go!
This is the captain speaking.
I just found out that there's men on this vessel
expecting liberty.
Now, I don't know how this rumor got around,
but I'd like to clear it up right now.
On account of cargo requirements
and security conditions which have just come to my personal attention,
there will be no liberty
while we're in this here port.
That is all.
[men singing in native language and clapping]
[knock on door]
Come in...
Mr. Roberts.
Well...
twenty-eight seconds.
Pretty good time.
You see, I've been expecting you.
Okay, how about it? When does this crew get liberty?
In the first place, just kind of hold your tongue.
I'm still captain here.
When are you gonna let this crew go ashore?
[Captain] I'm not.
It was not my idea, coming to this liberty port.
It seems one of my officers arranged it with a certain port director.
Gave him a bottle of scotch whiskey,
compliments of the captain.
The port director was kind enough to send me a little thank you note
along with our order.
Sit down, Mr. Roberts.
Now, I admit I was a little provoked
about not being consulted.
Then, I got to thinking maybe we ought to come to this port,
so's you and me could have a little talk.
All right, take it out on me, but not on the men.
Don't you hear that music?
Don't you know it's tearing those guys apart?
They're breakable, Captain, I promise you.
Now, you listen to me.
I've got two things I want to show you.
That is the cap of a full commander.
I'm going to wear that cap someday,
and you're going to help me.
Now, it won't do any harm to tell you
that you helped me win that palm tree
by working cargo.
Now, don't let this go to your head,
but when Admiral Finchley awarded me that palm tree,
he said, "You've got a good cargo officer, Morton.
Keep him at it.
You're going places."
And I went right out and bought that hat,
and nobody gonna stand between me...
and that hat.
Certainly not you.
Now, last week, it was agreed
that there was to be no more of these disharmony letters.
I didn't say that.
Now, what do I find on my desk this morning?
Another one.
It says here,
"Friction between me and the commanding officer."
That ain't going in, mister.
How are you going to stop it, Captain?
I ain't.
You are.
Just how much do you want this crew to have a liberty?
Enough to stop this friction?
Enough to stop writing letters ever?
Because that's the only way this crew is going to get ashore.
This day...
or any other day.
Now we've had our little chat.
What do you say?
How did you get in the Navy?
How did you get on our side?
Aw, you ignorant, arrogant, ambitious...
Keeping 62 men in prison
because you got a palm tree for the work they did!
I don't which I hate worse,
you or that other malignant growth that stands outside...
Why, you stinking little...
How did you ever get command of a ship?
I realize in wartime they have to scrape the bottom of the barrel,
but where'd they ever scrape you up?
There's just one thing left for you, mister,
a general court-martial!
That suits me fine! Court-martial me!
- You've got it! - I'm asking for it!
If I can't get transferred, I get court-martialed off. I'm fed up.
But you'll need a witness.
Call your messenger.
I'll say it all over again in front of him.
Go on, call him.
Want me to call him?
No.
You're a smart boy, Roberts...
but I know how to take care of smart boys.
I hate your guts,
you smart college guys.
I've been seeing your kind around since I was 10 years old,
working as a busboy.
"Oh, busboy,
it seems my friend has thrown up on the table.
Clean up that mess, boy, will you?”
And then, when I went to sea as a steward,
people poking at you with umbrellas.
"Oh, boy."
"You, boy."
"Careful with that luggage, boy."
And I took it.
I took it for years,
but I don't have to take it anymore.
There's a war on,
and I'm captain of this vessel,
and now you can take it for a change.
The worst thing I can do to you
is to keep you right here, mister,
and here is where you're going to stay.
Now get out!
What do you want for liberty, Captain?
You are through writing letters, ever.
Okay.
And that's not all.
You're through talking back to me in front of the crew.
When I give an order,
you jump.
Is that all, Captain?
No.
Anyone know you're in here?
No one.
Good...
then you're not to go blabbing this around to anyone ever.
Might not sound so good.
Besides, I don't want you to take credit
- for getting this crew... - You think I'm doing this for credit?
You think I'd let anyone know about this?
- I've got to make sure. - Well, you got my word, that's all.
Your word. Yeah.
You college boys make such a great show of keeping your word.
All right,
Now hear this.
This is the captain speaking.
I've had further word on the subject of liberty.
It gives me great pleasure to announce
liberty for the starboard section, commencing...
The whole crew, or there's no deal.
I mean it.
Correction.
Liberty for the entire crew will commence immediately.
- [men cheering] - I repeat...
You don't have to tell them again. They heard you.
Look at those crazy lugs.
Just listen to them.
[cheering]
[horn honking]
[sirens wailing]
[men yelling]
Well, I got a bunch of real beauties for you this time.
Can they walk?
Walk? Some of them can't even crawl.
[sailors yelling]
[man, slurring] ♪ Up we go ♪?
♪ Into the wild blue yonder ♪
♪ Flyin' high ♪
♪ Into the sun ♪
♪ Here they come ♪
♪ Zoomin' to meet our thunder ♪
♪ At 'em, boys ♪
♪ Give 'em the gun ♪
♪ Down we dive ♪
♪ Spoutin' out flames from under ♪
♪ All for one ♪
♪ One for all ♪
♪ We live in fame ♪
♪ Go down in flame ♪
♪ Nothin'll stop the Army air corps ♪
[men yelling]
Well, they're peaceful, anyhow.
All right, lads. Come on, lend a hand.
[sirens wailing]
[men yelling]
[men chanting gibberish]
Hiya, Mr. Roberts!
Hello, Mr. Roberts.
Evening, Mr. Roberts.
Duty officer, sir?
That's right.
Colonel Middleton presents his compliments to the captain, sir,
and wishes him to know that these men
made a shambles of the colonel's testimonial dinner dance.
You men crashed a dance for Army personnel?
Yes, sir, and they made us feel unwelcome.
Oh, the Army started a fight, huh?
Oh, no, sir, we started it.
And we finished it.
Hey, tell Mr. Roberts
how many of you Army bums is in the hospital.
Thirty-eight soldiers of the United States Army
have been hospitalized,
and the colonel himself has a very bad bruise
on his left shin.
That's not all, Lieutenant.
There were young ladies present, 50 of them,
from the finest families of Elysium.
Well, sir...
Well?
Two of those young women were somewhat...
mauled.
One of them actually got a black eye.
Six others had their clothes torn from them.
They ran screaming into the night.
They haven't been heard from since.
What are you going to do about it, Lieutenant?
Well, I'm due to be relieved here in 15 minutes.
I'd be glad to lead a search party.
No, sir.
The Army will take charge of that end.
Colonel Middleton will want to know
what punishment you're going to give these men.
Well, you tell him I'm sure our captain will think of something.
- But, sir... - That's all, Sergeant.
Thank you, sir.
Good night.
- Yeah. Huh? - [blows raspberry]
So long, you guys.
- See you around, laddie. - See ya.
So long, Mac.
Thanks, huh?
Well...
what have you got to say for yourselves?
Okay if we go ashore again?
What do you say, Doc?
- [all shouting] - Yeah, Doc, how about it?
What about it?
Anybody got a fractured skull?
- No. - Nothing, Doc.
No.
They pass the physical.
Go down and take a shower and get into some clothes.
Hey, we just got time to get back to the dance!
[men cheer]
Hi, Mr. Roberts.
I'm drunk as a goat.
Show him how drunk I am.
Mr. Roberts,
when I first saw her,
she was eating,
and, you know,
she's eaten her way into my heart.
She was eating
a little old palm tree.
There you are, kid.
Chow!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Whoa.
What's her name?
I don't know, sir.
She's got a nameplate.
Her name is...
Property Of.
What's her last name?
Her last name.
Rear Admiral Wentworth.
Okay, Dolan, hit the sack.
I'll take care of her.
Okay, Mr. Roberts.
See that she gets a good square meal.
[razzes]
Oh, come on, baby.
Hey, Kennedy, where you been?
Okay, okay, you're relieved.
Request permission to go ashore, sir.
[men yelling in distance]
Lieutenant, did one of your men turn up with a...
[goat bleats]
Oh, there she is. [laughs]
Thanks. Come on. Come on.
Your papa"s over there worried about you.
[bleats]
Say, Mr. Roberts, where's your relief?
Ah, he'll be along any minute now.
Any minute now.
[Doc] What are you looking so cocky about?
Am I looking cocky?
Maybe it's because for the first time since I've been on this ship
I'm seeing a crew.
What do you think you've been living with all this time?
Sixty-two separate guys.
There's a big difference, Doc.
Now, in one night, these guys are bound together.
Doc, I think now maybe they're strong enough
to stand all the miserable, endless days ahead of us.
I only hope I'm strong enough.
Doug...
tomorrow, you and I are going over there
and take advantage of the groundwork that's been laid tonight.
You and I are going to give ourselves a liberty.
[man whistling]
[Roberts] Hey, get a load of Pulver.
Hello, Frank, how was your liberty?
[Pulver] ♪ I'm tellin' you true ♪
♪ I'd be anything but blue ♪
♪ If I could be... ♪
[both chuckle]
Ohh.
All right, you men know your posts.
Officer of the deck,
I hope you don't mind,
but I've stationed my men along your starboard side.
I'm sorry, but this ship is restricted
for the rest of its stay in Elysium.
Your captain is to report to the island commander
at 7:00 this morning.
I recommend that he's there on time.
The admiral's a pretty tough cookie when he's mad,
madder tonight than I ever seen him.
What, in particular, did this?
Well, a little while ago,
six men from your ship broke into the home
of the French Colonial Governor.
Started throwing things through a plate glass living room window.
We found some of the things on the lawn,
large world globe,
small love seat,
a lot of books,
bust of Balzac...
the French writer?
We also found an Army private first class
who was unconscious at the time.
He claims they threw him, too.
Through the window?
That's right.
It's seems he took them there for a little joke.
He didn't tell them it was the governor's house.
He told them it was a...
well, what we call in Alabama, a...
Yeah, we call it the same thing in Nebraska.
Well, that's about all, Lieutenant.
If it makes you feel any better,
Admiral Wentworth says this is the worst ship he's ever seen
in his entire Naval career.
[siren wailing]
Good night, Lieutenant.
Good night.
[siren continues]
Schlemmer!
Schlemmer, are you all right?
Get up here, you idiot!
What are you trying to do?
- Get up here. - [groans]
[Schlemmer] I forgot my motorcycle!
Come back here. Schlemmer!
[laughs]
Kicked out! Kicked out!
The first time I've ever been kicked out of a port!
You're going to pay for this, mister!
Now get that gangway up, and we're going to get out of here!
Chief...
bring in the gangway, single up all lines.
We've been kicked out of port.
Bookser ain't aboard, sir.
He didn't come back last night.
- Bookser? - No, sir.
Get that gangway up, mister!
And I mean now! [shouts indistinctly]
Yes, sir.
[romantic music]
Bookser!
[ship's horn blows]
[men yelling]
Come on, Booksie!
- Bookser! - Come on!
Come on, Booksie!
Come on, run!
Come on, Booksie, you can make it!
Come on, kid!
[yelling]
[ship's horn blows]
I'm surprised at you, Bookser.
Yes, sir. So am.
Where'd you meet her, anyway?
At a church social.
All night?
We went for a walk down on the beach, sir.
We sat there and counted the stars.
Honest, sir.
That's all.
[Roberts] You better get below.
[Bookser] Yes, sir.
[pleasant music]
[Roberts] All present and accounted for, sir.
Right here, mister!
Well...
I guess you're mighty proud of yourselves,
getting me kicked out of port that way.
Well, we are going to erase this blot from my record
if we have to work 24 hours a day!
Right, Mr. Roberts?
Yes, sir.
We are going to move more cargo
than we ever moved before.
Right, Mr. Roberts?
Yes, sir.
And Mr. Roberts is going to see to it
that you men toe the line
at all times.
That's right, too...
isn't it, mister?
That's right, sir.
And you know as well as I do
that Mr. Roberts is a man who keeps his word.
And, Roberts,
you do a good job,
and one of these days, there may be a promotion in it for you,
an extra little bar on that collar.
That would be all right,
wouldn't it, mister?
Wouldn't that be all right, Roberts?
Yes, sir, if you say so.
You just heard me say so.
Take over.
See they work up a sweat.
I just gave an order,
and I ain't heard no answer.
I'm waiting.
Aye, aye, sir.
That's better.
That's more like it.
[solemn music]
Deck division, bring out the chippers and scrapers
and get after that rust.
Engineering division,
air bedding. Fall out.
[music continues]
What's he taking all that guff for?
"Yes, sir." "No, sir."
"Aye, aye, sir."”
Hey, Killer,
do you really think he's bucking for a promotion?
Who, Mr. Roberts?
He's just tired, that's all.
Promotion.
Yeah, that's right.
He's just tired.
Oh, Mr. Roberts, I got something here.
A little love letter from the Bureau
came in just this morning.
Hey, get a load of this.
"To all ships and stations,
heightened war offensive
has created urgent need aboard combat ships
for experienced officers.
All commanding officers are hereby directed
to forward with their endorsement
all applications for transfer
from officers with 24-months sea duty.”
You got 29 months.
Does that put old stupid behind the eight ball, or don't it?
Here's your letter, Mr. Roberts,
all typed up and ready to go.
Just the old John Hancock...
Hey, go ahead, Mr. Roberts.
I want to hear him explode.
Yeah, he'll go right through the overhead.
[sailor] Go ahead, Mr. Roberts.
I want to look it over first, Dolan.
What's to look over? It's just a standard form.
Dolan, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you.
I told you I want to look it over.
Now get back to your typewriter before I put you on report.
[dramatic music]
All right, don't just stand here.
[low music]
[man on radio] ...the headquarters of the Supreme Allied Command in Europe.
I repeat, there is no official announcement yet.
The report that the war in Europe has ended has come from only...
Hey, Mr. Roberts.
It has not been confirmed by other correspondence
or by [indistinct] headquarters.
But here is one highly intriguing fact.
That report has not been denied.
Turn that thing off, will you, Doc?
or in [indistinct] headquarters in Europe.
Doug ever said anything to you about wanting a promotion?
Aw, of course not.
I doubt if he's even conscious of what rank he is.
He never thinks about a promotion.
All he ever thinks about is the war news.
Anybody who says he's bucking for another stripe
is a dirty liar.
Who says he is?
Insigna and Mannion and some of those other guys.
I heard 'em talking, outside the porthole.
You know, talking loud on purpose so I'd hear 'em.
They must have guessed I was lying here in my sack.
What's happened to Doug anyway, Doc?
How would I know?
He's spoken about 10 words to me in as many days.
I'll find out, though.
He won't talk, Doc.
I followed him all around the room this morning
while he was shaving. I begged him to talk to me.
I said, "You're a fella who needs a friend, boy,”
and then, "Here I am.
And what's all this trouble between you and the crew?
You know, you tell me, I'll fix it up like that.”
Then I gave him a lot of good advice.
You know, things like, "Keep your chin up."
And, you know, things like that. Well, you know what he did?
He walked right out of this room just as though I wasn't here,
and I was here.
Mr. Roberts is turning out to be like an officer, ain't he?
[door shuts]
Hey, Doug boy, we thought you were
up in the radio shack listening to the war news.
Don't you want to go out to the wardroom, get a cup of coffee?
Yeah, sure. I'll go with you.
No, I don't want to. You go ahead.
Well, I...
Will you get out anyway? I want to talk to Doc.
All right. I'm going for a cup of coffee.
No, I'm not. I'm going up to the radio shack
and listen to the war news.
You're not the only one interested.
See you later, Doc.
[low music]
Doc...
transfer me, will ya?
Transfer me to the hospital on this next island.
You can do it.
You don't need the captain's approval.
Just put me ashore for examination.
Say there's something wrong with my eyes or my feet or my head.
You can trump up something.
Why... what good would that do?
Plenty. I could lie around that hospital for a couple of weeks.
The ship would've sailed, and I'd have missed it.
I'd be off this ship.
Will you do it, Doc?
Doug...
what's really the matter?
I just put Dolan on report.
On report?
Why?
'Cause I gave him an order
and he didn't carry it out fast enough to suit me.
Nah, that's not true.
It's the war.
I had heard the news.
The war was ending, and I couldn't get to it.
There's Dolan giving me guff about something.
All of a sudden, I hated him.
I hated all of them.
If they think I'm bucking for a promotion,
if they think I'd walk 10 feet across the room
to get anything from that captain,
I'm through with the whole ungrateful mob.
Does this crew owe you something?
What do you mean by that?
You talk as if they did.
That's exactly how I'm talking.
Doc, that shows you how far gone I am.
I've been blaming them for something that...
What? Something what?
Doug?
You've made some sort of an agreement with the captain, haven't you?
Agreement? I don't know what you mean.
Doc! Doug, turn on the radio! Turn it on!
[man on radio] This broadcast will bring you a special news flash.
The war is over in Europe. The war is over in Europe.
Germany has surrendered unconditionally to the Allied Armies.
The surrender was signed in a schoolhouse in the city of Reims.
I would remind you that there's still a minor skirmish here in the Pacific.
I'll miss that, too.
But this is the greatest day in the world.
We got to celebrate.
How about it, Frank?
Yeah, Doug, we got to celebrate.
What'll it be, alcohol and orange juice
or orange juice and alcohol?
No, Doc, that's not good enough.
Nah, that's not good enough, Doc.
We got to think of something to lift this ship
right up out of the water and turn it around the other way.
Doug, Doc, I...
You're gonna blow your lids when you hear this idea.
Ooh, what a sweet i...
You said I never finished anything I started.
Oh, boy, you're wrong.
Tonight, I started something.
- I'm gonna finish it. - Frank, wait a minute. What is it?!
A firecracker!
We're gonna heave a firecracker
under that old man's bunk, and bam! Bam! Bam!
Wake up, you unpatriotic old slob!
It's V-E Day!
- Frank. - Doc,
did... did you ever see such a hand-painted,
hand-packed firecracker in your life?
Oh, Frank, that's the most beautiful firecracker
I ever saw in my life, but will it work?
Sure, it'll work.
Well, I think it will.
Haven't you tested it, Frank?
It's got to work, it's just got to work.
I'll take it down to the laundry.
That's my laboratory.
I got all the makings down there.
If this one works, I can make another one in two minutes.
Okay, Frank, take off. We'll wait here for you.
Be sure you got enough to make it loud.
What'll you use for powder?
Powder? This ain't no popgun.
It's a firecracker.
I used fulminate of mercury.
I'll be back in a minute.
Fulminate of mercury? That stuff's murder.
Do you suppose he means it?
Aw, of course not.
Where would he get fulminate of mercury?
I don't know. He's pretty resourceful.
[Doc] Well, how about a little drink?
Right.
Doc...
I've been living with a genius.
This makes everything worthwhile,
the whole year and a half he spent in his bunk.
How else could you celebrate V-E Day?
A firecracker under the old man's bunk?
- Here you are. - [laughing]
To better days.
Right.
And to a great American,
Frank Thurlowe Pulver,
soldier, statesman, scientist...
Friend of the working girl.
[explosions]
[cracking]
What was that?
I don't know what it was, Captain,
but I'll try and find out.
Hey there, up in the bridge,
is there anything wrong up there?
[Pulver whistling lively tune]
[Pulver stops whistling]
[Pulver, muffled] Help!
Doug!
Hey, Doug!
Wow!
- [Pulver yelling indistinctly] - This may be pretty bad, Doug.
[panting]
[spitting]
Jeez, that stuff's terrific!
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm great! [spits]
Gee, you should have been there.
You're not... you're not burned or anything?
No. But that laundry's kind of beat up.
You know those laundry machines? [coughs]
They're clear over the other side of the room now.
And there's a new porthole in the starboard side.
The electric iron went right through. [laughs]
I... I guess a steam line must have busted or something.
I was up to here in lather, and, oh...
soapsuds flying all around.
It was just... it was absolutely beautiful.
Well, what was it?
Has anybody found out?
It was the laundry, Captain.
A steam line must have busted.
Any damage?
We can't get in there.
The passageway is solid soapsuds.
Well, tell those men to be more careful.
Aye, aye, sir.
[laughter]
Frank, our celebration is just getting started.
- Yeah. - The night is young
and our duty's clear.
What are we gonna do now, Doug boy?
We're going down, get the rest of your stuff.
You proved that it works.
You just hit the wrong target, that's all.
We're gonna make another firecracker and put it where it really belongs.
All of my stuff was down in the laundry.
It all went up.
I'm sorry, Doug. I'm... I'm awful sorry.
That's okay, Frank.
You're not sore at me now, are you?
What for?
- Spoiling the celebration... - Of course not.
It was a... it was a good idea, wasn't it?
Frank, it was a great idea. I'm proud of you.
Just didn't work, that's all.
- [Doc] Where you going, Doug? - Out on deck.
Well, wait. I'll get cleaned up.
- I'll come with you, Doug. - No, I'm gonna turn in after that.
It's okay, Frank.
[somber music]
He was... hey, he was happy there for a minute.
Did you hear him laughing?
You find out what's the matter with him?
No. He wouldn't tell me.
But I know one thing he's feeling tonight,
that's panic.
Tonight, he feels his war is dying
before he can get to it.
I let him down.
He wanted to celebrate, and I let him down.
[man on radio] We heard that the king and queen will come out.
The crowd are cheering. Listen to them.
And at any second now,
we hope to see their majesties.
The color here is tremendous.
Everywhere rosettes,
everywhere gay red, white, and blue hats...
Hey, what's all that jabberin' on the radio?
I don't know. Something about the king and queen.
Oh.
[man on radio] historic May evening.
And although we celebrate with joyous...
Steam line busted in the laundry room.
They're cleaning it up now. It ain't even worth going to see.
[man on radio continues indistinctly]
[sailor 1] Come on, Dolan, don't let him get you down.
[sailor 2] Yeah, come on, Dolan.
Hey, what was them croquette things we had for chow today?
Flash red.
[man on radio] then the king.
In the uniform, the admiral of the fleet.
The two princesses standing on the balcony...
[Roberts] Good evening.
You fellas hear the news? The war's over in Europe.
Yes, sir, we've heard.
Sure. Maybe somebody will get on the ball here now.
[man on radio] taking over San Francisco...
[Roberts] Well, Dolan, I...
I guess I kind of blew my top.
I'm sorry. I'm taking you off report.
Whatever you want, sir.
Well, guess I'll hit the old sack.
Yeah. Me, too.
Yeah, I think so.
See you later.
I didn't realize how late it was.
Yeah.
[man on radio] and loaded with the sailors.
They just run right out in front,
stop these cars right here where they happen to be,
pile on, and we've seen as many as 25 on one sedan.
We've seen as many as 10 to 12 on little coupés and roadsters.
The old tires are just flat against the asphalt paving
down here on these streets in downtown San Francisco.
- [radio frequency changes] - [man 2 talking indistinctly on radio]
The picture's changed a little bit here in Times Square.
[radio frequency changes]
[man 3 on radio] Our boys have won this victory today,
but the rest is up to you.
You and you alone must recognize our enemies,
the forces of ambition, cruelty,
arrogance, and stupidity.
You must recognize them.
You must destroy them.
You must tear them out as you would a malignant growth
and cast them from the surface of the earth.
[crowd cheering on radio]
["Stars and Stripes Forever" playing]
[man] ♪ Da da da ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ Da da da da da da dee doh ♪
[music continues playing]
[crowd cheering]
No.
Never.
Sound the general alarm!
Officer to deck!
- [alarm blaring] - [muffled shouting]
[indistinct chattering]
Hey, what happened? What happened?
[sailor 1] Hey, it must be an air raid!
[sailor 2] Submarine! Must be a submarine!
Hey, what happened?
- [sailor 2] Submarine! - [sailor 1] Must be an air raid!
[indistinct chattering]
Mannion, Wily, secure that life raft.
He didn't say abandon ship.
All right now, wait a minute! Wait a...
Laundry detail, report to forward gun.
Laundry detail, report to forward... what happened?
I'm comin'! Where's the gun?
- Hey, Insigna! - Yeah!
Are you supposed to be up there?
Yeah. We was up here last year.
Hey, Dowdy, where's my battle station?
I don't know where your battle station is.
Look around!
Ask a man politely where his battle station is,
and he says, "Look around!"
Engine room, manned and ready.
All battle stations manned and ready.
All except mine!
All battle stations manned and ready, Captain.
[alarm continues blaring]
[alarm stops]
All right,
Who did it?
You are going to stand sweating at those battle stations
until someone confesses.
[Captain continues on PA] It's an insult to the honor of this ship.
The symbol of our cargo record has been destroyed,
and I am going to find out who did it
if it takes all night.
Symbol of our cargo record?
What's that?
I don't know.
Stefanowski, find some battle station.
- The palm tree is gone. - Hey! Hey, come on! Come on!
- [Insigna] It's that stinking palm tree! - [sailor 1] The palm tree is gone!
[sailor 2] The palm tree is gone!
Here.
Read me that muster list.
"Abernathy."
No, not Abernathy.
- "Baker."
- [sailor on PA] "Bartholomew.” - [Captain on PA] No.
- "Becker." ” - [inaudible]
- "Connolley.” - No.
- "Daniels." ” - No.
- "Dexter." ” - Come here. Come here.
[Captain on PA] Never.
- [sailor on PA] "Gelson.” - Nah.
- "Gepperman.” - No.
- "Jacob.”
- "Kelly."
"Kevin.
- Meyers.” - [indistinct chattering]
- [sailor on PA] "Olson.” - [Captain on PA] No.
- "O'Neill." - No, not O'Neill.
"Pulver.”
Pulver. Hmm.
Pulver wouldn't have the guts. [chuckles weakly]
Go on, go on!
"Roberts."
Roberts.
That's the one.
Get him up here! Get him up here right now!
Get him up here!
Mr. Roberts will report to the captain's cabin
on the double.
Mr. Roberts will report to the captain's cabin
- on the double. - Give me that!
Roberts! Roberts!
You get up here in one quick hurry!
[Captain continues on PA] Roberts! Get a move on!
I'm giving you an order!
Do you hear me, Roberts?
W... this is it!
You get a move on and get up here,
for this is finally, finally the showdown!
We are going to have it out right here and now!
Do you hear, Roberts?!
Get up here now!
You wanted to see me, Captain?
You did it!
Don't stand there and lie to me. Confess it.
Confess what, Captain?
I don't know what you're talking about.
You know what I'm talking about because you did it.
[Captain continues on radio] You double-crossed me!
You've gone back on your word!
[Roberts on PA] No, I haven't, Captain.
[Captain] Oh, yes, you have. Yes, you have.
I kept my part of the bargain.
I gave this crew liberty. I gave this crew liberty.
But you've gone back on your word.
You promised me on your word of honor!
[Roberts] I kept my word, Captain.
I haven't written any more letters.
I'm not talking about your stinking, rotten letters!
I'm talking about what you did tonight!
Tonight? I... I don't understand you, Captain.
What'd you think I did tonight?
You know what you did!
You stabbed me in the back!
[groaning]
You stabbed me in the...
[coughing]
[groaning]
Will the doctor please report to the captain's cabin
on the double?
[Roberts om radio] Will the doctor please report to the captain's cabin
on the double?
Hey, Lindström, where's the old man?
He's sittin' in a chair leanin' way forward.
What's the doc doin'?
Doc's holding the waste basket.
What waste basket?
The one the old man's got his head in.
Oops, there he goes again.
[laughter]
They got him to the couch.
That's it.
Now, we mustn't let ourselves get angry, Captain.
We know that, don't we?
[tense music]
Look out. Here they come.
We'll not need the stretcher now.
Sorry.
Chief.
[Dowdy] Yes, sir.
Pass the word to the men, it's secure from general quarters.
[Dowdy] Aye, aye, sir.
See you later.
[man on PA] Now hear this. Now hear this.
Secure from general quarters.
Good night, Mr. Roberts.
Good night, Reber.
Good night, Mr. Roberts.
Good night, Wily.
[Lindström] Good night, Mr. Roberts.
Good night, Lindström.
Good night, Mr. Roberts.
[Kennedy] Good night, Mr. Roberts.
Good night, Kennedy.
Good night, Mr. Roberts.
Good night, Dolan.
[bright music]
[dramatic music]
[low music]
Okay, Mr. Roberts, I'll take these down to the gangway.
The boat from the island should be out here any minute for you.
I'll let you know.
Thanks, Gerhart.
Never thought you'd be taking this trip, did you?
I'll be off this bucket before I even wake up.
They're flying you all the way to the Livingston?
I don't know. A dispatch said, "Transfer. Travel by air if possible."
My guess is all the way, though.
They're landing planes at Okinawa now.
That's where my can's probably running around.
Okinawa?
You be mighty careful, Doug boy.
Okay, Frank.
Doc, I even got a destroyer.
The Livingston.
I know a guy on the Livingston.
He don't think it's so hot.
Here you are, Mr. Roberts.
I typed up three copies of the radio dispatch.
I have to keep one copy, and here's two for you.
You are now officially detached from this here bucket.
Let me be the first.
Thanks, Dolan.
Dolan, how about these orders?
I haven't sent in a letter for a month.
Listen, Mr. Roberts, I can tell you exactly how that happened.
You see, those guys in Washington need men awful bad for combat duty,
so they started looking through some of the old letters
and come across one of yours.
I know, but...
Listen, Mr. Roberts, we can't stand here beating our gums.
The old man says,
"If he ain't out of here in one hour,
I'll throw him off!"
Is that all he said?
That's all he said.
After fighting this thing for two years,
you'd think he'd say more than that.
[Captain on PA] Guard,
I don't want no man closer than 10 feet.
Understand?
What's that?
A new botanical guard.
- Ain't you heard? - No.
When we anchored this morning, he sent Olson out with a special detail,
dug up a new palm tree.
He's already set a 24-hour watch
on that new baby with orders to shoot to kill.
Oh, that reminds me, Ensign Pulver.
The captain wants to see you right away.
- What about? - I don't know, sir.
I'll come back to say good-bye later, Mr. Roberts.
Come on, Ensign Pulver.
Yeah, I bet those guys down in the laundry
starched his pajamas again.
Well, you're pretty happy, aren't you?
Yup. You're happy about it, too, aren't you, Doc?
Oh, I think it's the only thing for you.
What do you think of the crew now, Doug?
They're all right. I think they're nice guys, all of them.
Mm-hmm.
How do you think they feel about you?
Oh, they like me well enough till the next guy comes along.
You don't think you're necessary to them, huh?
Aw, Doc, no officer's necessary to a crew.
Are you going to leave this ship believing that?
That's nothing against them, Doc.
They're too busy looking out for themselves
to worry about anybody else.
Well, take a good, deep breath, buster.
What do you think got you your orders?
Prayer and fasting?
Sending in enough box tops?
Dolan said one of my old letters turned up.
Bunk. This crew got you transferred.
They were so busy thinking about themselves
that they took a chance of landing in prison for five years,
every one of them.
You couldn't send in a letter for transfer,
so they sent one in for you.
They knew the captain wouldn't sign it "approved,”
so they didn't bother him. They signed it for him.
Doc, what do you mean? They forged the captain's name?
That's it exactly.
It's quite a thing to see, Doug.
The captain's name-sighing contest.
Every man on the crew trying his best
to copy that crabby little scrawl of the captain's.
There were judges,
decided a winner.
At the time, there was some criticism of their decision
on the grounds that the judges were drunk,
but apparently from the results,
they chose pretty well.
How'd you find out about it, Doc?
Well, it's a great honor.
I'm the only officer aboard who knows.
I was a contestant.
I was also a judge.
This, uh, double honor was accorded me
because of my character, charm...
good looks...
and because the medical department
contributed four gallons of grain alcohol to the contest.
Who won?
Who signed it?
I'm not at liberty to say.
Basically, they all did...
and with just one idea in mind,
to do something for Mr. Roberts.
[sentimental music]
Wish you hadn't told me, Doc.
Makes me look pretty silly after what I just said.
But I didn't mean it, Doc.
I was afraid to say what I really feel.
I love those guys.
I think they're the greatest guys on this earth.
And all of a sudden, I feel there's something
terribly wrong about leaving them.
Doc, what can I say to them?
Nothing. You don't know about it.
After you're safely aboard your new ship,
I'm supposed to write to tell you about it.
And at the bottom of the letter,
I'm supposed to say,
"Thanks for the liberty, Mr. Roberts.
Thanks for everything."
[music continues]
I'm the new cargo officer.
And that ain't all. I got to have dinner with him tonight.
He likes me.
[knock on door]
[Doc] Come in.
What's that?
Fire and rescue party. Heard you had a fire in here.
No. But as long as you're here...
We got a false alarm, then.
In that case, we might as well drink this stuff.
What's in that?
New batch of jungle juice?
Yeah. In the handy new portable container.
[sailor] Everybody loaded?
All right, you guys, you can come in now!
What is it?
Open it.
What is it, Doug?
[sailor 2] It's a palm tree, see?
It was Dowdy's idea, sir.
Mannion made it, he cut it out of sheet brass
down in the machine shop.
Mannion drew the words on it, too.
Stefanowski thought up the words.
Booksie gets credit for the ribbon.
From a box of candy from his mother.
Read the words, Mr. Roberts.
"Order of..."
[low music]
"Order of the Palm.
To Lieutenant JG Douglas Roberts
for action against the enemy
above and beyond the call of duty.”
It's very nice, but I think you got the wrong guy.
We know, sir, but we'd like you to have it anyway.
Okay, I'll keep it.
[Dowdy] Stefanowski thought up the words.
Fine words.
The boat's here, Mr. Roberts.
I put your gear in.
They want to shove off right away.
[music continues]
Haven't had our drink yet.
- No, sir. - No, we ain't.
You won't get any jungle juice aboard that destroyer, Mr. Roberts.
That's right, Dowdy.
Bye, Doc.
- Bye, Doug. - And thanks, Doc.
- Okay. - Bye, Frank.
Remember, I'm counting on you.
[sentimental music]
[dramatic music]
[plane engine roaring]
[indistinct chattering]
[Dowdy] Come on down!
All right, Coxswain. Shove off. You got it.
[man on PA] Mail call will be on the forward hatch immediately.
Mannion.
Newspapers.
Eight weeks old.
Pulver, Pulver, Pulver.
Ensign Pulver, we just heard.
No movies again tonight.
Why not?
Ah, he said we was making too much noise.
We wasn't making too much noise, Ensign Pulver.
Talk to him, will ya, Ensign Pulver?
What, me? Talk to the cap... yeah.
- [Doc] Booksie? - [Booksie] Yes, sir. Thank you.
[Doc] Lindström?
[Lindström] Yes, sir.
- [Doc] Dolan? - [Dolan] Here, sir.
- [Doc] Stefanowski? - [Stef] Right, here, sir.
Yep. My mother.
All she ever says is stay away from Japan.
What's your news, Doc?
My wife got some new wallpaper for the living room.
Hmm. Pretty.
Mmm. [sniffs] Alabama.
Oh, well, I shall read that one later.
Hey, Doc, this is from Doug.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
[Dowdy] What does he say?
Hey, you guys, want to hear a letter from Mr. Roberts?
- [all] Yeah! - [sailor] Sure thing.
"Dear Frank, this will be... this will be short and sweet
as we're shoving off in about two minutes."
This was dated three weeks ago.
Does he say where he is?
Yeah. He says, "My guess about the location of this ship
is exactly right."
That means he's around Okinawa.
"Everyone else..." [laughs]
He met Fornell.
You kn... you know that friend of mine? Guy named Fornell, I went to college with?
This is what he says.
"Fornell says that you and he used to load up your car with liquor
in Omaha and sell it at an indecent profit
to the fraternity boys in Iowa City. How about that?"
[laughs] We did, too.
Ah, what's this? This part is for Doc.
"I've been... " oh.
[scoffs] Go ahead and read it. It's for both of us.
"for Doc. I've been aboard this destroyer for two weeks now,
and we've already been through four air attacks.
I'm in the war at last, Doc.
I've caught up with that task force that passed me by.
I'm glad to be here. I had to be here, I guess.
But I'm thinking now of you, Doc, and you, Frank,
and Dolan and Dowdy and Insigna,
and everyone else on that bucket.
All the guys everywhere who sail from tedium to apathy
and back again with an occasional side-trip to monotony.
This is a tough crew on here,
and they have a wonderful battle record,
but I've discovered, Doc, the unseen enemy of this war
is the boredom that eventually becomes a faith,
and therefore a terrible sort of suicide.
And I know now that the ones who refuse to surrender to it
are the strongest of all.
Right now, I'm looking at something that's hanging over my desk,
a preposterous hunk of brass
attached to the most bilious piece of ribbon I've ever seen.
I'd rather have it than the Congressional Medal of Honor.
It tells me what I'll always be proudest of,
that at a time in the world when courage counted most,
I lived among 62 brave men.
So, Doc, and especially you, Frank,
don't let those guys down.
Of course, I know that by this time they must be very happy
because the captain's overhead is filled with marbles.
And um... and here comes the mail orderly.
This has to go now. I'll finish it later.
Meanwhile, you guys can write, too, can't you? Doug."
May I see that, Frank?
Ha! This one's from Fornell.
"I'd rather have it than the Congressional Medal of Honor."
Well, I'm glad he found that out.
[Doc] What's the matter, Frank?
What's the matter?
Frank, what is it?
Mr. Roberts is dead.
[somber music]
This is from Fornell.
They took a Jap suicide plane.
It killed everybody in the twin-40 battery
and went right on through and killed Doug
and some other officer in the ward room.
They were drinking coffee when it hit.
Coffee.
Could I have that?
Like to post it for the crew.
No.
Post this instead.
It's theirs.
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
Yes? Who is it?
Captain, it is I, Ensign Pulver,
and I just threw your stinking palm tree overboard!
Now, what's all this crud about no movie tonight?
[dramatic music]
[grand music]