1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:11,584 J you see a pair of laughing eyes j 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:15,303 j and suddenly your sighing sighs j 5 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,302 j you're thinking nothing's wrong j 6 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:20,434 j you string along, boy, then snap! J 7 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:28,313 j those eyes, those sighs, they're part of the tender trap j 8 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,648 j you're hand in hand beneath the trees j 9 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,744 j and soon there's music in the breeze j 10 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:44,617 j you're acting kind of smart, until your heart just goes wap! J 11 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:52,549 j those trees, that breeze, they're part of the tender trap j 12 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,922 j some starry night j 13 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:02,051 j when her kisses make you tingle j 14 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:05,395 j she'll hold you tight 15 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:11,937 j and you'll hate yourself for being single j 16 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,780 j and all at once it seems so nice j 17 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:19,326 j the folks are throwing shoes and rice j 18 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:25,037 j you hurry to a spot that's just a dot on the map j 19 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:32,089 j and then you wonder how it all came about j 20 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:36,343 j it's too late now there's no getting out 21 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,845 j you fell in love j 22 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:45,603 j and love is the tender trap j 23 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,045 Mmm. 24 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,711 Is that the best you've got to say? 25 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,471 Mmm. 26 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:49,180 You could do better than that. 27 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,437 What do you want, a testimonial? 28 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,938 That would be nice. 29 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,090 You know, I've been wanting to tell you something 30 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,571 for months now. 31 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,653 What? 32 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,159 You are the softest girl. 33 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,951 Huh, gee, thanks. 34 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:14,084 That's what every girl wants to hear. 35 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,121 No, I mean it. 36 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,508 You're not flabby or anything like that. 37 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,090 Just nice and soft. 38 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,216 You know what I mean. 39 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,304 Yes, I see what you mean. 40 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,184 Who is that? 41 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,646 I'll be darned if I know, 42 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,857 but whoever it is, I don't want any. 43 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,281 Uh-oh. 44 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,700 Hmm, maybe I'd better... = yeah. 45 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:53,490 - I'll just be a minute. - Don't lose the place. 46 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,626 Oh. 47 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,632 Joe! = Charlie! 48 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,249 Charlie: Well, I'll be... Joe: How are you? 49 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,688 How are you, Joe? How's Ethel? 50 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,447 Egads, it's good to see you, Joe. 51 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,825 How's everything in Indianapolis? 52 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,327 Hey, how about a drink? Still Martinis? 53 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,456 - Same drink, same wife. - You got it. 54 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,479 Why didn't you let a fellow know you were coming, Joe? 55 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,245 - Didn't you get my telegram? - Nope. No wire. 56 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,334 That's funny, I sent one. Anyway, I'm staying with you. 57 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,125 Good. Welcome aboard, Joe. 58 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,794 Wow. What a waterhole. = yeah. 59 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,588 This is a far cry from the tree houses 60 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,302 you used to fall out of as a kid. 61 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,307 Do all theatrical agents in New York live like this? 62 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,142 How much money you making anyhow? 63 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,557 Almost as much as I'm spending. 64 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,317 Hey, how's everything at the old plant? 65 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,024 The Indiana pharmaceutical company 66 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,798 seems to be keeping its head above water. 67 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,404 Good. Well, let's drink up, buddy boy. 68 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,318 Joe. = Charlie. 69 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,829 I'm glad to see success has not changed you. 70 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,789 You still make a lousy Martini. 71 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,034 - Get out of there. - Hey, did I ask you? 72 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,893 - How's Ethel? - Ethel? Mm, she's okay. 73 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,678 And how about Charlie, my boy? How is he? 74 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,813 Well, I don't know. 75 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,190 Last week, we were thinking 76 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,896 we shouldn't have named him after you. 77 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,651 Hmm? 78 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,733 He fell out of a tree house. 79 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,694 Oh, my gosh. Did he get hurt? 80 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,860 - No, fell on his sister. - Oh, my gosh. 81 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,120 It's alright, Charlie. It was a very low tree house. 82 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,530 Good. 83 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:59,120 What are you doing in New York? Business? 84 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,910 Well, not really. I've left Ethel. 85 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,795 You what? You left Ethel? 86 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,002 But, Joe, you can't be serious. 87 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,293 - Hello. - You walked out on her? 88 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,052 - Hello. - The mother of your children? 89 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:11,836 Sweetie. 90 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,951 The woman who gave you the best years of her life? 91 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:17,388 Sweetie, I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's almost 6:00. 92 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,019 It is? Oh, gee, that's a shame. 93 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,476 Oh, uh, Poppy matson, Joe McCall. 94 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,437 - How do you do? - How do you do? 95 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,192 Thanks for dropping by. 96 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,341 Joe, you must be kidding. = I'll just tidy up a bit... 97 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,051 No, you don't have to do that. I'll take care of it myself. 98 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,195 - But don't you want me... - No, I'll take care of it. 99 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,047 And I'll give you a bell soon. = tomorrow? 100 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,598 No, not tomorrow but soon. = you call me. 101 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,953 = I will. - On the telephone. 102 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,863 - Soon? - Yes, very soon. Bye. 103 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,189 Oh, Charlie, did I tell you? My uncle caught the whitefish. 104 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,874 - What? - Don't you remember? 105 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,663 You told me how much you loved whitefish. 106 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,457 - He's sending one down. - Oh, yes, good, good. 107 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,476 I'll call you when it arrives. = you do that. 108 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,302 And we'll have a wonderful dinner with... 109 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,304 With burgundy and candlelight 110 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,808 and a damask tablecloth and lemons. 111 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,061 Mm. I can hardly wait. 112 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,146 - Bye. - Bye. 113 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,990 Where the Sam hill did she come from? 114 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,867 Never mind. 115 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,245 Now what is all this stuff about you leaving Ethel? 116 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,077 Ethel? Oh, I left her. 117 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,532 Charlie, that gorgeous girl, are there any more like that? 118 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,955 Forget the gorgeous girl, Joe, 119 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,041 and let's settle down and discuss this thing. 120 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,206 Why did you leave Ethel? 121 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,124 Oh, that was her suggestion. 122 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,008 It was nothing like you think. 123 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,965 Really? 124 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,755 What is it like, Joe? 125 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,764 What's it like? =- hmm. 126 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,471 Well, it's like this. 127 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,682 Last week, we celebrated our 11th anniversary. 128 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,472 Oh, did you get my silver tray? 129 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,483 We got seven silver trays, but thanks. 130 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,213 Anyway, after everyone had gone, Ethel and I looked at each other 131 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:55,315 and Ethel said, uh, "Joe, I love you very, very much. 132 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,779 Why don't we take a vacation from each other?" 133 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,473 So I said, "well, there's a little business 134 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,862 in New York I could take care of." 135 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,702 She said, "you do that. 136 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,288 See some shows, sponge off old Charlie 137 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,918 and then you come running back here 138 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,545 and chase me all over the house the way you used to." 139 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,298 - So... - Doggone. 140 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,461 I told you that Ethel was a smart girl. We'll drink to her. 141 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,718 - Charlie. - Joe. 142 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,890 - Ethel. - Ethel. 143 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:27,514 - Hi, honey. Charlie: Oh, hi, Jessica. 144 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:30,479 - I'm a little busy right now... - Oh, that's alright, darling. 145 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,757 I just happened to be down at the Washington market today 146 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:36,148 and I ran right smack into this wonderful real Wisconsin Colby 147 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,487 and I knew you like it better than any other cheese 148 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,401 and so here it is. 149 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,286 I got a friend down at the market 150 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,768 who is gonna alert me the very minute 151 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,498 the first apples appear 152 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,455 and I'm keeping you in mind for a whole bushel of... 153 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,206 Well, how can you live in a place that looks like this? 154 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,091 Jessica, this is Joe McCall. Jessica Collins. 155 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,218 How do you do, Mr. McCall? = miss Collins. 156 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,131 Have you ever seen anyone keep a place in such disorder? 157 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,925 Well, I don't know what Mr. McCall will think. 158 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,719 Oh, now you two go on about your business 159 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,512 and don't you pay me no mind 160 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:11,399 and I'll have this place at least looking tidy. 161 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,525 Well, my goodness, here's a telegram 162 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,436 and it hasn't even been opened yet. 163 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,072 Somebody may have died or something. 164 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,234 Now what this place needs is a real thorough, 165 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,821 old-fashioned house cleaning. 166 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,362 A lick and a promise won't do. No, sir. 167 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,374 Thank you. Now have you seen those drapes? 168 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,205 Well, those drapes need a real thorough, 169 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,667 old-fashioned flogging and I'm gonna do it... 170 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,456 And that couch. 171 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,839 What have you been doing on that couch? 172 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,893 Uh, Jessica, I appreciate what you're doing, honey, 173 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,268 but not now, some other time. 174 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,598 Oh, you always say that. 175 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,167 No, really, I'll call you very soon. 176 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,682 Well, don't forget now, hear? =I hear. 177 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,852 - Promise? - I promise. 178 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,735 - Bye now. - Goodbye, Mr. McCall. 179 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,986 Mmm. 180 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,997 Mmm, tiger. 181 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,953 Oh. 182 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,083 - Bye. - Bye. 183 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,087 Where am I? 184 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,091 Where do all these tomatoes come from? 185 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,501 Tomatoes? 186 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,136 How dare you call these girls tomatoes? 187 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,888 For your information, Mr. McCall, 188 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,889 Poppy is an important editor at doubleday 189 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,051 and Jessica happens to be the buyer 190 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:31,062 for the largest chain of women's stores in the south. 191 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,393 Tomatoes indeed. 192 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,853 Charlie, I'd like to ask you something... 193 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,897 Hey, how about this? My friend Joe McCall 194 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,803 is coming to spend a couple of weeks with me. 195 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,107 Oh, I gotta shave. I got a date. 196 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,196 Tomatoes or no tomatoes, tell me one thing. 197 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,034 How come you rate with girls like that? 198 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,495 Because I'm big and strong and fat. 199 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,690 I don't think you're gonna beat my time 200 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,045 the way you did all the others. 201 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,879 Charlie, you're 35 years old. 202 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,156 You're not still brooding about the junior prom, are you? 203 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,966 You're darn right I am. 204 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,971 Three hundred girls in a line 205 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,742 and right at the head of the line is this 206 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,677 lovely, sweet absolute doll of a girl 207 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,345 smiling right at me. 208 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,855 All I've got to do is take three simple paces forward 209 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,438 and say, "may I have the pleasure of this dance?" 210 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,727 Not me. 211 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,395 Way down at the end of the line, 212 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,438 I spot this tall job, 213 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,778 the goofy one with the hot eyes. 214 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,160 And even from where I stand, I know this is trouble. 215 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,696 So what do I do? Of course. 216 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,705 I cut my way through a half mile of organdy 217 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,788 while you take the three simple paces forward. 218 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:38,080 You get Ethel and I get slapped with a paternity suit. 219 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,214 At least they cleared you. 220 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,377 Why shouldn't they? I never even laid a glove on her. 221 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,714 That's what Ethel said, from the beginning, Ethel said, 222 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,634 "Charlie couldn't have done it." 223 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,221 - That's right. - "He hasn't got the know-how." 224 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,732 Hello. 225 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,484 Oh, hi, honey. 226 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,236 No, I... I can't tonight. 227 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,272 No, not tomorrow night either. 228 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,862 No, no, no, the place is very clean, yeah. 229 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,321 Thanks for calling. 230 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,202 Yeah. Okay, I'll get back to you. 231 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:11,783 Bye. 232 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,784 Boy, what have you got? 233 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,421 It's not what I've got, Joe, it's what I haven't got. A wife. 234 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,422 - A wife? - Mm-hmm. 235 00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,799 When I first came to New York, 236 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,506 I figured it'd be just like back home. 237 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,966 You know, meet a girl, take her to the movie, 238 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,804 send her some candy and flowers, romance her a little bit. 239 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,138 Well? 240 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,593 Not the way it works in New York. 241 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,225 They got a kind of an underground here. 242 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,264 As soon as a bachelor sets foot in this town, 243 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,774 the signals go out. 244 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,380 And even before you get your bag unpacked, 245 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,770 you're up to there in dames. 246 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,485 Look, it's wonderful. Plain joker like me, 247 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,742 I've got dames I haven't even called yet. 248 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,390 And it goes on like this all the time? 249 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,405 All the time. 250 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,244 And all you gotta be is a bachelor? 251 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,534 - Mm-hmm. - Pal, you really got it taped. 252 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,373 Mnh-mnh, not me. It's New York, Joe. 253 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,538 City's teeming with dames. 254 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,110 To tell you the truth, every once in a while, 255 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,419 I get a little bored with it. 256 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:07,461 Oh, I feel for you, pal. 257 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,469 You know what I mean. 258 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,380 Sure, it's fun, but let's face it. 259 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,390 You are the guy who's got it taped. 260 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,176 - Me? - Mm-hmm. 261 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,970 I would be happy to trade this rat race 262 00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,230 for your setup in two seconds. 263 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,642 You come home in the evening, a pretty little house, 264 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,857 three kids run down the path yelling, "daddy." 265 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,274 You go inside and there's Ethel in a cute little apron, 266 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,783 throws her arms around your neck 267 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,713 and gives you a big smack and says, "Joe..." 268 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,488 "Joe, we gotta have wall-to-wall carpeting.” 269 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,497 Oh, now don't go knocking Ethel to me. 270 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,750 I'm not knocking her. Why, if it weren't for Ethel, 271 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,287 we wouldn't have wall-to-wall carpeting today. 272 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,581 Can you imagine that? People would be able to see 273 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:47,421 the floor around the edge of the rug. 274 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,531 And incidentally, the kids don't run down the path 275 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,035 to greet me when I come home at night. 276 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,007 They're too tired after a day of dancing lessons 277 00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:55,846 and fencing lessons, 278 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,228 elocution lessons, eurhythmic lessons... 279 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,983 Dramatic lessons, finger-painting lessons. 280 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,393 As a matter of fact, Ethel isn't home either. 281 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,859 The dog is taking her to obedience school. 282 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,446 Oh, come on, Joe. It can't always be like that. 283 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,827 No, no, it isn't always like that. 284 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,908 Sometimes at night after the kids are asleep, 285 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,917 it's nice and quiet, just the two of us alone. 286 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,380 I start a fire in the fireplace, 287 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,418 Ethel gets the good Brandy out. 288 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,553 We push a couple of chairs together. 289 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:36,261 I squeeze her hand, she squeezes mine. 290 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,677 "Honey," I say. 291 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,437 “Darling,” she says, 292 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,895 "don't you think it's time Peter had braces on his teeth?" 293 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,274 One stinking kid left in the house without braces, 294 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,189 she can't stand it. 295 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,483 Charlie: I'm not even listening to you. 296 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,902 I can't believe that Ethel, little starry-eyed Ethel 297 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,162 with that angel's smile and the cutest little figure 298 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:01,074 in the entire middle west... 299 00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,538 Is it still? 300 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,170 Yup. 301 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,569 Now don't tell me that doesn't please you anymore, buddy. 302 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,003 It delights me. 303 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,169 After all, married 11 years, 304 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,337 I never even looked at another woman. 305 00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,925 Are you thinking of looking now? 306 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,681 Certainly not. Why? 307 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:21,390 Well, when guys start telling me how many years they didn't, 308 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,646 I figure they're about ready to do. 309 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,976 And no matter what you say, I bet you were plenty happy 310 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,066 with your setup... 311 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:31,320 Until you came in here and saw what I had fallen into. 312 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,278 Maybe you're right, pal. After all, 11 years. 313 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:38,277 Yeah, 11 wonderful years. 314 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,573 And don't forget that. Oh-oh. 315 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,537 What's the matter? Night shift coming on? 316 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,667 No, no, she isn't just one of the girls. 317 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,078 This is something special. 318 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,168 What's she got? Her own vacuum cleaner? 319 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,129 No, this one hardly cleans up at all. 320 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,043 Although she does straighten up a little. 321 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,178 I see. What is it with her? 322 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,964 Oh, she's really special. 323 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,679 You know, she used to play with stokowski? 324 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,935 You mean as children? How old is she, anyway? 325 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,970 Oh, shut up. 326 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,561 You'll see Sylvia in a... Ah, here we come now. 327 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,777 Which one of the gentlemen is Sylvia? 328 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,117 Oh, have you got a surprise coming. 329 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:33,083 Sylvia, Mr. Joe McCall. Joe, this is miss crewes. 330 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,922 Honored, miss crewes. 331 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:41,633 Poor dear, she can hardly wait to get here. 332 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:44,011 I guess I better hurry. It doesn't take Sylvia very long 333 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,761 to get over here from nbc. 334 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,535 What did they do? Shoot her out of the Cannon? 335 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,490 Hello. = hello. 336 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,993 Charlie: He's in the kitchen. Helen: I know. 337 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,124 Hey, hey. 338 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,006 Who's she? 339 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,712 I'm sorry, I can't introduce you, Joe. 340 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,218 I forget her last name. It's Helen something or other. 341 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:19,799 She... 342 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,392 I'll take good care of Joe. Come on, baby. 343 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:26,894 Thank you. 344 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,350 You named the dog after me. I'm touched. 345 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,940 She comes in and walks him twice a day. 346 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,696 One of these nights, I'm gonna have to take her to dinner. 347 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,949 That would be nice of you, sultan. 348 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,369 - Good evening, miss crewes. - Hello, George. 349 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,927 - All moved in, Mr. loughran? - Yes, yes. 350 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,714 Everything except the piano and a couple of end tables. 351 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:18,941 I got it. 352 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,489 Hi, baby. 353 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:28,038 This is a tuxedo? 354 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,666 - Well, we were just unpacking... - Bye. 355 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,748 This one is different. = she'll be back. 356 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,173 He tell you I'd be back? 357 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,179 Well, yes. 358 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,599 What's your name? 359 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,351 McCall. 360 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,638 Sylvia: Do you have a tuxedo, Mr. McCall? 361 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,977 Uh, well, as a matter of fact, I don't. 362 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,937 - Go and change, boy. - Five minutes, so help me. 363 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,909 Can I fix you a drink, Mr. McCall? 364 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,660 Please allow me. 365 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:10,244 Well, I've never heard such gallantry in this apartment. 366 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,079 Joe: Scotch? = fine. 367 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,832 No tuxedo, hmm? 368 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,213 Tell me, you got a blue suit? 369 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,716 Yes, there's one right there on top, see? 370 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,049 - I see. - Water? 371 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,680 Sylvia: Please. 372 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,223 Oh, that's, uh, the wife and kids. 373 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,639 Oh, you're Joe McCall. 374 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,354 I'm Sylvia crewes. = hello. 375 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,813 Thank you. 376 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,899 Uh, that dressing gown that Charlie sent Ethel 377 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,938 last Christmas, did it fit? 378 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:46,951 You bought that? I didn't think Charlie had that much taste. 379 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,861 Which one's Peter? 380 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,870 The one without the braces. 381 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,908 Of course, that was taken six months ago. 382 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,128 You know, Charlie makes very good use 383 00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:00,255 of your family in his courtship. 384 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,384 - I use the term loosely. - How do you mean? 385 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,466 Well, whenever he gets a little misty, 386 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,801 he starts telling big lies about how one day 387 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:12,218 he'd like a nice little house and a nice little wife 388 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:16,856 and nice little kids just like good old Joe. 389 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:20,484 Did it ever occur to you that he might not be lying? 390 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,214 Mr. McCall, if it hadn't occurred to me, 391 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,150 I wouldn't be here. 392 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,650 Forty five seconds. 393 00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:30,570 Charlie: I'll be right there. = you better be. 394 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,160 Oh, I saw you on television a little while ago. 395 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,080 Did you? Well, that's very sweet of you 396 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:43,499 considering that "range rider” was on the rival network. 397 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:44,917 I don't quite understand it. 398 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:48,007 You're a musician with an nbc orchestra? 399 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:50,673 How did you get together with ol' tin-eared Charlie? 400 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,842 Oh, he's not such a tin ear. 401 00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,978 I've been working on him. He's making fine progress. 402 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,308 Charlie? = mmm. 403 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,565 He just loves "Peter and the wolf." 404 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,145 Listen. 405 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:10,489 See? That wasn't easy for him. 406 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,239 You know, Charlie tells me 407 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,479 that you go all the way back to fourth grade together. 408 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,835 Yeah, further than that. Kindergarten. 409 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,211 Oh? 410 00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,798 What was he like then? 411 00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,550 Mm, little. 412 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:30,129 What did you do when you were a kid? 413 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:33,299 - Like when? - Oh, five to ten. 414 00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:34,637 Played the fiddle. 415 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:36,427 - Ten to twenty? - Played the fiddle. 416 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,220 Twenty to... 417 00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:40,355 - Say it. - Twenty eight? 418 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:43,142 Thank you very much. Played the fiddle. 419 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,856 And I guess I'll just keep on fiddling 420 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,612 until I die or get married, whichever comes first. 421 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,321 And there you are. 422 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,782 My, but don't you look pretty. 423 00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,935 I'd ask you to go with us, Joe, but I don't want you. 424 00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:58,540 I don't blame you. 425 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:00,918 If you get tired, that thing makes up into a bed. 426 00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:02,607 And if you can't sleep, there's some seconal 427 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:03,962 in the medicine cabinet. 428 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,360 If you have trouble staying awake, 429 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,295 there's some benzedrine in there. 430 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,585 If you can't make up your mind, take one of each. 431 00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:12,968 Oh, if you get hungry, 432 00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:16,054 there's a nice new cheese in the refrigerator. 433 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,517 That's for getting ready so quick. 434 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:22,852 Who ever had it so good? 435 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,858 Not me. 436 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:28,192 - Don't wait up for me. Bye. - Goodnight. 437 00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:18,951 - Oh. - Thank you. 438 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,785 Hello, uh, Helen. 439 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,520 Uh, I'm sorry, I don't know your last name. 440 00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:24,580 Charlie forgot to introduce us, but, uh, 441 00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,245 I'm his best friend. 442 00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,755 As a matter of fact, uh, he's named after me. 443 00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:30,382 Joe McCall's my name. 444 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:33,214 Um, hiya, namesake. 445 00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:35,175 In your bed, Joe. 446 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:37,840 What's your hurry? 447 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:39,258 Let's have a drink. 448 00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,097 No, thanks. I have dinner on the stove. 449 00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:42,951 Well, let it stay. We'll go out for dinner. 450 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,979 - No, thanks. - W... why not? 451 00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,231 Mr. McCall, you're a married man. 452 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:52,021 Oh, Charlie told you, huh? 453 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:54,235 Well, as a matter of fact, he didn't. 454 00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:56,617 You mean, you could tell just by looking at me? 455 00:24:56,787 --> 00:24:58,948 Of course. Goodnight. 456 00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:19,761 I wouldn't know. Is he any good? 457 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:22,096 He can't be. He's not one of our clients. 458 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,274 Thank you very much. Who is next? 459 00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:32,903 A miss gillis. Miss gillis, please. 460 00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:35,906 Watch this kid, Charlie. The office signed her last week. 461 00:25:42,624 --> 00:25:44,114 Sayers: Alright, miss gillis. 462 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:46,333 Now do you mind telling us something about yourself? 463 00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:47,709 You know, your background, 464 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,371 theatrical experience and so forth. 465 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,085 Don't be nervous, miss gillis. 466 00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:54,750 Oh, well, I'm not at all nervous. 467 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,464 My name is Julie gillis and I was born 468 00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:57,923 right here in New York City. 469 00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,554 I'm 22 years old. 470 00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:02,057 Um, that is, I was 21 and a half a week ago, Wednesday, 471 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,747 but as soon as I pass the halfway Mark, 472 00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,268 I always say I'm a year older. 473 00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:07,083 I know that most people wait until the last minute 474 00:26:07,107 --> 00:26:09,974 to tack on another year, but I... 475 00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:13,144 Well, maybe I am a little bit nervous. 476 00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:14,962 Director: You go right ahead, miss gillis. 477 00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:17,068 Tell us anything you want to. 478 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,574 Well, there isn't very much more to tell. 479 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:22,612 My only theatrical experience was this past June 480 00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:24,701 at the senior class play at briarwood. 481 00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:27,036 We did "the pirates of penzance.” 482 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:29,665 And there was an agent there 483 00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,248 and he gave me something to sign 484 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:32,879 and here I am. 485 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,629 Are you still there? 486 00:26:36,804 --> 00:26:38,590 We're still here, miss gillis. 487 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:41,972 Now you, uh, sing or dance or just keep on talking. 488 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,472 I think I'd better sing. I talk too much. 489 00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:50,056 I think I better take my glasses off. 490 00:26:50,234 --> 00:26:52,225 She looks too good with these on. 491 00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:05,821 Steady, buster. 492 00:27:11,213 --> 00:27:12,828 I think this kid's got something, Eddie. 493 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,651 Bring her over to bergie's. I'd like to talk to her. 494 00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:17,257 - Okay, Charlie. - You two won't mind, will you? 495 00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:20,089 Why should we mind? We'll be right there with you. 496 00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,637 Ciavelli? = hmm? 497 00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,677 How do you like that? 498 00:27:28,856 --> 00:27:32,474 They hired ciavelli as conductor of the "summer symphony." 499 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:36,485 Ciavelli? How do you like that? 500 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,486 It's shocking. 501 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,193 I don't say he's a bad violinist, 502 00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:41,982 but conductor? 503 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:43,401 Why, it's ridiculous. 504 00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,661 The bum never hit 300 in his whole life. 505 00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,196 Sucker for an inside curve. 506 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:48,974 Well, he's good enough with the classics, 507 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:52,000 but what are they gonna do when they get past brahms? 508 00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:54,253 Probably have to put in a pinch hitter. 509 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:55,859 They wouldn't take a woman for the job. 510 00:27:55,883 --> 00:27:57,544 Oh, no, of course not. 511 00:27:57,718 --> 00:28:00,084 Makes it too tough in the locker room. 512 00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:03,253 Very funny. 513 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:05,548 What did you two do for laughs before I came along? 514 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:09,054 I'm sorry I asked. 515 00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:14,223 Julie, this is Charlie reader, our top talent man. Miss gillis. 516 00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:15,401 - Hello. - How do you do? 517 00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:16,671 This is miss crewes, Mr. McCall. 518 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,105 Sylvia and Joe. = hello. 519 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,160 Two of my friends who have absolutely no talent. 520 00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:21,384 I'll be seeing you later, Charlie. 521 00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:22,488 - Goodbye, Eddie. - Bye. 522 00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:24,099 - Thank you. - Can I get you a drink? 523 00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:26,124 - Just coffee, thanks. - We have plenty of that. 524 00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:27,736 - Sugar and cream? - Yes, please. 525 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,325 I can only stay a few minutes. 526 00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:30,852 Well, I just wanted to tell you how impressed 527 00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:32,312 we were with your singing this afternoon. 528 00:28:32,336 --> 00:28:33,730 Yes, you were lovely. = you were wonderful. 529 00:28:33,754 --> 00:28:35,745 And I had a word with the producer, Sammy sayers, 530 00:28:35,923 --> 00:28:37,208 and he says it looks as though 531 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,610 you're just about set for the part. 532 00:28:38,634 --> 00:28:40,499 Oh, good. Thank you. 533 00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:43,794 Uh, this is your first, uh, 534 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:45,742 this is your first professional show, isn't it? 535 00:28:45,766 --> 00:28:46,926 Yes. 536 00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:48,500 Aren't you just a little bit excited 537 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,721 about breaking through for the first time out? 538 00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:54,605 Oh, the theater's alright, but only temporarily. 539 00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:56,936 You thinking of taking up something else? 540 00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,476 Well, yes. Marriage, I hope. 541 00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:03,568 Oh. Did you have any particular young man in mind? 542 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,858 Well, there are any number of young men, 543 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,776 but I haven't found mine yet. 544 00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,571 Well, a pretty young thing like you shouldn't have much trouble. 545 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,114 Well, I certainly hope not. 546 00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:13,623 I mean, a career is just fine, 547 00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:16,080 but it's no substitute for marriage. 548 00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:18,211 Don't you think so, miss crewes? 549 00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:21,249 Miss gillis, I think so. 550 00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:23,337 Passionately, I think so. 551 00:29:25,722 --> 00:29:28,179 Honestly, don't you think marriage is just the most 552 00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:29,715 important thing in the world? 553 00:29:29,893 --> 00:29:32,134 I mean, a woman isn't really a woman at all 554 00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:34,223 until she's been married and had children. 555 00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:36,354 And why? Because she's fulfilled. 556 00:29:36,525 --> 00:29:39,642 - Isn't that right? - Right. 557 00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:43,028 - You agree? - Of course, I do. 558 00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:45,154 What red-blooded American boy doesn't? 559 00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:47,190 This red-blooded American boy doesn't. 560 00:29:47,369 --> 00:29:49,030 Why not? 561 00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:51,490 Well, in order to be fulfilled, you have to have a man, 562 00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:54,077 and it might be just possible that what fulfills you 563 00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:55,832 might not fulfill him. 564 00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:57,743 My man, it will. 565 00:29:57,921 --> 00:29:59,832 You have his specifications? 566 00:30:00,007 --> 00:30:02,464 Well, yes. I know everything except his blood type. 567 00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,387 Uh, tell us about him. 568 00:30:09,558 --> 00:30:11,219 You mean it? 569 00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:13,884 Because this is something I could talk about all day. 570 00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:16,599 You're on, miss gillis. 571 00:30:16,773 --> 00:30:18,354 Well, the first thing I want in a man, 572 00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:20,641 he's got to love children. 573 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:23,435 How many you think you'd like? = three. 574 00:30:23,613 --> 00:30:26,730 - That's the magic number. - But not right away. 575 00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:28,970 The first two years, we're going to live in New York. 576 00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:30,074 I mean, we'll be young 577 00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:31,525 and we'll wanna have lots of fun 578 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:32,765 and there's no better place to have fun 579 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:34,245 than New York, is there? 580 00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:36,122 The children will come later. 581 00:30:36,293 --> 00:30:37,783 But not in New York? 582 00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:39,497 No, we'll move to the country for that. 583 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:42,583 Oh, probably, the first baby will be born in New York. 584 00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:45,875 At what hospital? = at doctor's... 585 00:30:46,053 --> 00:30:47,589 Oh, you're kidding me. 586 00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,303 Never mind him. Tell us some more. 587 00:30:50,474 --> 00:30:52,010 We really are interested. 588 00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:54,220 Fascinated. 589 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:57,136 Look, I know this sounds crazy if you don't know me, 590 00:30:57,314 --> 00:31:00,351 but people that know me think it's quite normal. 591 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:01,981 I'm sure they do, miss gillis. 592 00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:04,188 You have a house in the country and the baby, 593 00:31:04,363 --> 00:31:05,603 and now what do you do? 594 00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:07,772 I have two more babies. 595 00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:12,193 I didn't say a thing. 596 00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:14,327 Yes? 597 00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:16,893 Well, when the kids get out of scarsdale public high school... 598 00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:19,624 Oh, scarsdale? 599 00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:21,786 Well, certainly, everyone knows 600 00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,999 they have the best school system in the country. 601 00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:25,789 Of course, everybody knows that. 602 00:31:25,967 --> 00:31:28,208 Now, Joe... =l mean it. 603 00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:31,925 Everybody in Indianapolis sends their kids to scarsdale. 604 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,385 I've been kidded about this before, 605 00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:36,971 but I do know what I want. 606 00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:38,555 That's good. 607 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,595 Go on. Tell us more. 608 00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:43,607 Well, as I was saying, 609 00:31:43,777 --> 00:31:45,296 when the kids get out of high school and go to... 610 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:46,981 Miss gillis, don't you think 611 00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:49,396 you're just getting a little ahead of yourself? 612 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,439 Well, after all, a person just can't go on 613 00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:53,449 ad-libbing his way through life. 614 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:57,078 Well, some do. = some have to. 615 00:31:57,249 --> 00:32:00,036 Julie: Sure, but that's because they made their plans too late. 616 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:04,961 I wish I knew the answer to that one. 617 00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:07,714 Well, now that I've told you all of my girlish dreams... 618 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:10,170 - Do you really have to go? - I really have to. 619 00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:11,380 - Miss crewes. - Goodbye. 620 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:12,555 I'll get you a taxi cab. 621 00:32:12,639 --> 00:32:14,220 No, don't bother. Mr. McCall. 622 00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:20,723 Walk out on the streets alone in the sinful old city of New York. 623 00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:22,057 Goodbye. Joe: Bye. 624 00:32:22,232 --> 00:32:24,314 - See you later. - Bye. 625 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:27,692 That is the most terrifying child I ever met in my life. 626 00:32:27,863 --> 00:32:29,979 I'm a little shaky myself. 627 00:32:30,157 --> 00:32:31,738 Tell me, miss gillis, 628 00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:34,069 what are your plans for the next 400 years? 629 00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:37,486 Oh, well, first, I shall have some children. 630 00:32:37,664 --> 00:32:39,655 Oh, and how do you intend to have them? 631 00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:42,324 - The usual way. - No, I mean, in what order? 632 00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:46,791 Oh, well, first a boy, then a girl, then another boy, 633 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:49,707 and then a chocolate cream. 634 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:52,592 And, uh, what typical little American community 635 00:32:52,762 --> 00:32:54,093 do you intend to live in? 636 00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:56,721 Las Vegas. Where else? 637 00:32:59,269 --> 00:33:00,975 And you know how it is with contracts. 638 00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:02,426 It will probably be a week or two 639 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:03,958 before we have anything for you to sign. 640 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:05,126 So meanwhile, how about you and I 641 00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:06,310 having dinner tomorrow night? 642 00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:08,566 - Together? - Of course. 643 00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:11,149 Why? 644 00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:14,110 - Why? - Well, I mean, for what reason? 645 00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:18,152 Does there have to be a reason for a male and female 646 00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:20,366 to sit down and break bread together? 647 00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,826 I mean, tomorrow night you'll probably be hungry 648 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,001 and you'll want to eat. 649 00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:26,751 But why with you? 650 00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:29,709 Well, it's a simple question, isn't it? 651 00:33:29,883 --> 00:33:32,625 Yes. I wish I had a simple answer. 652 00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:34,588 I wish I had any answer. 653 00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:36,719 Well, I'll put it the other way around. 654 00:33:36,890 --> 00:33:40,053 Tomorrow night you'll be hungry and wanna have dinner, 655 00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:42,343 but why with me? 656 00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:45,729 Miss gillis, through the years, 657 00:33:45,899 --> 00:33:47,855 I have found that sitting across the table 658 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,483 with a beautiful girl is not only pleasant, 659 00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:57,107 well, I've only known you a few minutes, 660 00:33:57,285 --> 00:34:00,118 but you seem fairly nice. 661 00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:03,325 You're even attractive in an offbeat, 662 00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,661 beat-up sort of way. 663 00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:09,251 Thanks a lot. 664 00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:10,537 But I can't have dinner 665 00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:12,421 with every nice, attractive man I meet. 666 00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,833 It's not part of my plan. 667 00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:18,253 - How is that plan again? - My marriage plan. 668 00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:19,921 When I meet somebody new 669 00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:23,263 and I don't feel an immediate chemistry between us, 670 00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:26,394 well, I'm polite, but that's all. 671 00:34:26,565 --> 00:34:28,726 And you mean that you feel nothing chemical 672 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:29,935 between you and me? 673 00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:31,316 Exactly. 674 00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:33,101 Thank you very much for the coffee. 675 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,520 You do understand why 676 00:34:34,698 --> 00:34:35,883 I can't have dinner with you, don't you? 677 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:37,863 It's crystal clear, miss gillis. 678 00:34:38,034 --> 00:34:39,945 Good. Goodnight. 679 00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:47,950 About time you got here. 680 00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:49,897 Were you kidding with what you told me on the phone? 681 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:52,128 I was not. There she sits. 682 00:34:52,299 --> 00:34:53,835 You talk to her. 683 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:59,799 Director: Ethel Barrymore signed a contract like this. 684 00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,804 Helen Hayes, Sarah bernhardt... 685 00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:03,744 I'd like to have a couple of minutes alone with miss gillis. 686 00:35:03,768 --> 00:35:06,430 - Sure, she's all yours. - Hello, Julie. 687 00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:08,641 Are you gonna shout at me, too, Mr. reader? 688 00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:09,895 No, I'm not, Julie. 689 00:35:10,066 --> 00:35:11,335 Matter of fact, I'm gonna be very quiet. 690 00:35:11,359 --> 00:35:12,839 I just wanna get right to the point... 691 00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:14,547 Now to save you time, you don't have to tell me 692 00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:16,340 how it's a tradition of the theater for everybody 693 00:35:16,364 --> 00:35:18,104 to sign a run-of-the-play contract. 694 00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:20,774 Good. Then we can skip that. 695 00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:23,659 But do you think it's fair to Mr. sayers and the investors 696 00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:27,038 that you quit four and a half months after the show opens? 697 00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:30,700 I'm sorry, but if I postpone my marriage once, 698 00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:32,369 I may postpone it again. 699 00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,833 I can't take the chance. 700 00:35:35,008 --> 00:35:37,715 I'm afraid I can only sign a contract until march 12. 701 00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:42,421 What's so special about march 127? 702 00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:45,557 Well, that's when my mother and father were married. 703 00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:47,388 On march 12. 704 00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:50,269 And in my plan, that's the absolute deadline. 705 00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:53,352 It just doesn't make sense, Julie. 706 00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:55,046 Because the other day, you told me that 707 00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:57,527 you hadn't even met your young man yet. 708 00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:59,983 Oh, but I will. 709 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:03,992 If you have a plan and you really believe in it, 710 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:05,402 it will work. 711 00:36:06,915 --> 00:36:08,405 Um, why don't we go over to bergie's 712 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:09,663 and talk this over, huh? 713 00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:11,745 No, thanks, I've already had lunch. 714 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,356 Well, we could have dinner tonight... 715 00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:15,496 Oh, Mr. reader, I've already explained to you 716 00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,460 how I feel about dinner with you. 717 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:21,592 Julie... 718 00:36:21,763 --> 00:36:24,004 This is not chemistry, it's business. 719 00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,674 You promised me you wouldn't shout. 720 00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:32,429 I've gotta get some air. 721 00:36:32,607 --> 00:36:33,876 - Charlie, how did... - Charlie, what happened? 722 00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:36,562 Get her to sign? 723 00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:39,569 Sam, the best thing to do is to sign her until march 724 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:41,739 and maybe I can get her to change her mind by then. 725 00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:46,364 Where are you going? = the nearest bar. 726 00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:48,244 Wait, I'll go with you. 727 00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:51,118 Hello. 728 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:53,829 No, I'm sorry, he's not. 729 00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:55,368 Yes. 730 00:36:55,547 --> 00:36:57,378 Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you. 731 00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:06,171 Hello. 732 00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:09,720 No, I'm sorry, he isn't. 733 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:14,187 Miss snr? 734 00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:16,564 Would you spell that, please? 735 00:37:16,735 --> 00:37:18,726 S-n-r? 736 00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:22,688 Yes, miss snr, united nations, 737 00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:25,027 Thursday night, curry dinner. 738 00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:27,908 I shall tell him. Bye. 739 00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:31,738 Miss snr? What kind of a name is that? 740 00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:36,747 Just give me the facts, ma'am. 741 00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,246 Oh, hello, Jessica. How are you? 742 00:37:42,177 --> 00:37:44,384 No, I'm sorry, he hasn't come in yet. 743 00:37:46,014 --> 00:37:47,345 Oh, really? 744 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:50,427 Yeah, I'll tell him as soon as he gets in. 745 00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:52,558 - Hi, Joe. - Hiya, sheik. 746 00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:55,562 - What does Jessica want? - What they all want. 747 00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:58,565 To feed you, caress you, burp you. 748 00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:00,600 Sew monograms on your stupid shirts. 749 00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,619 Oh, did Carol get the thread for the monograms? 750 00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:04,437 - Yes, she did. - Good girl. 751 00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:08,734 And Jessica stumbled across a brand-new cheese. 752 00:38:08,912 --> 00:38:10,493 "S-n-r?" 753 00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:12,494 Yeah, that's miss snr. 754 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:16,283 She wants you to come over Thursday evening and curry her. 755 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:18,122 You're a good boy, Joe, look for something 756 00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:21,083 little extra special in your pay envelope Saturday. 757 00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:23,213 I hope you don't mind. I tied up your telephone 758 00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:24,820 for about three minutes this afternoon 759 00:38:24,844 --> 00:38:26,584 with a personal call. 760 00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:29,721 - Ethel phoned. Charlie: Oh, how is she? 761 00:38:29,891 --> 00:38:32,132 Well, she says she's restless and bored 762 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:35,347 and she's going to carpet the bathroom. 763 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,977 You answer it. I'm developing a cauliflower ear. 764 00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:44,394 Hello? 765 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:46,528 Oh, hi, sayers. 766 00:38:46,699 --> 00:38:48,530 No, I don't know where she is. 767 00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:53,612 She didn't show for rehearsal at all? 768 00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:55,810 Well, all I can suggest, pal, is maybe you better call 769 00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:58,621 the police station or the nearest hospital. 770 00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:00,956 Maybe you ought to try the morgue. 771 00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,917 Oh, I know it's no joke, sayers. 772 00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:05,694 What do you mean you're sorry she came into your life? 773 00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:08,960 How about me? She wouldn't even have dinner with me. 774 00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:13,097 Yeah, if I hear from her, I'll call you. Bye. 775 00:39:13,268 --> 00:39:14,995 Gillis dame didn't even show for the rehearsal. 776 00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:16,134 What do you think of that? 777 00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:17,312 I try not to think of her 778 00:39:17,438 --> 00:39:18,974 and I'm succeeding. 779 00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:23,479 Man on TV: And now nbc takes you to the knightsbridge armory 780 00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:25,359 and the "American home show." 781 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,613 Before we show you the exciting innovations in homemaking, 782 00:39:28,783 --> 00:39:31,069 we will turn our cameras on the enthusiastic crowds 783 00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:32,859 that have gathered here. 784 00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:34,777 Hey, Charlie, come here. 785 00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:37,698 - What's up? - Look at that. 786 00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:40,492 We come now to the feature of homemaker's haven, 787 00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:43,002 the kitchen of tomorrow, 788 00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:45,709 gadgetry that does away with drudgery. 789 00:39:45,884 --> 00:39:47,545 Is this what you hustled me in here for? 790 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,550 Wait, wait, wait till they get the audience. 791 00:39:49,721 --> 00:39:53,464 But if anyone has any questions, that's what I'm here for. 792 00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:56,007 I have a question. Excuse me. 793 00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:57,891 Egads, it's gillis. 794 00:39:58,062 --> 00:40:00,599 How big a family was this kitchen designed for? 795 00:40:00,773 --> 00:40:03,014 Man: Well, we've planned it for what the experts say 796 00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:05,774 will be the average American family in a few years, 797 00:40:05,945 --> 00:40:08,812 husband, wife and three children. 798 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:11,823 Oh, that's perfect. 799 00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:14,075 I gotta get up there and get her down to rehearsal. 800 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,201 - Why you? - 'Cause it's my responsibility. 801 00:40:16,372 --> 00:40:18,112 - I'm her agent. - Oh, come on now. 802 00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:20,828 Don't give me that agent-responsibility bit. 803 00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:22,663 This chick has got you tied up in knots 804 00:40:22,837 --> 00:40:24,273 because she won't have anything to do with you. 805 00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,458 You don't know what you're talking about, boy. 806 00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:29,545 Stay away from this girl, she's a trap with the trigger all set. 807 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,381 So what? Do you think I'd kick away a setup like this? 808 00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:33,866 I don't know, Charlie. Why do you keep 809 00:40:33,890 --> 00:40:35,755 falling out of the tree house? 810 00:40:35,934 --> 00:40:38,846 I have not fallen out of a tree house in years. 811 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:40,851 Don't you worry about old Charlie. 812 00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:43,479 Ha, that has a familiar ring. "Don't worry about old Charlie." 813 00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:44,668 Isn't that what you use to scream 814 00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:45,732 as you fell over the edge? 815 00:40:45,818 --> 00:40:47,228 That's funny. 816 00:40:47,403 --> 00:40:49,243 Hey, wait a minute. You got a date with Sylvia. 817 00:40:49,405 --> 00:40:52,568 You're supposed to pick her up at nbc. 818 00:40:52,742 --> 00:40:55,154 You're a college graduate. You think of something. 819 00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:12,091 No, Mr. Wilson, it just isn't... 820 00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:16,004 May I point out again that this house was planned 821 00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:18,218 by the world's greatest modern architect... 822 00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:19,849 Well, I can't put my finger on it, 823 00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:22,635 but... but I... I just know it... 824 00:41:22,814 --> 00:41:25,897 Oh, hello, Mr. reader. What are you doing here? 825 00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:28,774 That's a funny thing. I was just gonna ask you the same question. 826 00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:31,269 Seems I have a childish idea 827 00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:33,358 that you were long overdue at rehearsal. 828 00:41:33,533 --> 00:41:35,569 Oh, my goodness. 829 00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:38,109 I just stopped in for a few minutes. 830 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,682 Oh, I must have been here for hours. 831 00:41:39,706 --> 00:41:41,242 Alright, in that case, let's go. 832 00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:43,657 Wait, I just wanna ask you one question, then we'll go. 833 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:47,043 Does the combination of this room and this furniture 834 00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:50,671 and Mr. Wilson in that chair do anything for you? 835 00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:53,049 I don't know. Is it supposed to? 836 00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:54,219 Well, yes. 837 00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:55,843 You see, I love this style house 838 00:41:56,014 --> 00:41:57,595 and I love this decor, 839 00:41:57,765 --> 00:41:59,175 but when a man sits in that chair, 840 00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:01,056 it just doesn't seem to jell. 841 00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:03,058 It sort of goes out of focus. 842 00:42:03,229 --> 00:42:05,595 Well, it isn't your fault, Mr. Wilson. 843 00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:07,835 Four other men were good enough to sit in that chair for me, 844 00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:10,225 but I... 845 00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:12,735 You haven't any idea of what I'm talking about, have you? 846 00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,614 Have you? 847 00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:17,970 Mr. Wilson, will you, please, get up 848 00:42:17,994 --> 00:42:19,388 and let Mr. reader sit right down... 849 00:42:19,412 --> 00:42:21,323 Now, Julie, you're two hours late as it is. 850 00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:24,409 Believe me, sir, blind obedience works out best. 851 00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:32,380 What did I do? 852 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:35,712 It's amazing. 853 00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:40,051 The room seems so different now all at once. 854 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:42,135 Do you see it, Mr. Wilson? 855 00:42:45,104 --> 00:42:46,969 Okay, class is over. Let's go, Julie. 856 00:42:47,148 --> 00:42:49,104 Mr. Wilson, you must come and visit us sometime. 857 00:42:49,275 --> 00:42:51,436 - Yes, but the chair... - Thank you very much. 858 00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:55,436 - Amazing. - Alright, Julie. 859 00:42:55,615 --> 00:42:57,401 - Amazing. - This way. 860 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:07,285 - Hello, Sylvia. - Oh, Joe. 861 00:43:07,460 --> 00:43:10,293 What brings you to this windswept corner? 862 00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:12,454 Anything to do with Charlie not being here? 863 00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:14,714 Uh, well, as a matter of fact, uh... 864 00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:16,966 Alright, lad, let's have it. 865 00:43:17,136 --> 00:43:20,003 Well, it's just a matter of, uh, 866 00:43:20,181 --> 00:43:21,967 Charlie getting a call from... 867 00:43:24,811 --> 00:43:28,895 His boss called an emergency, uh, staff meeting and, uh... 868 00:43:29,065 --> 00:43:31,397 Would you care to look me in the eye, Mr. McCall? 869 00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:33,649 Not particularly. 870 00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:35,856 You know, I don't mind being lied to 871 00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:39,067 if I felt that a little work went into the lie. 872 00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:40,527 A little imagination. 873 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:41,781 Well, it was Charlie's idea 874 00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:43,393 that perhaps I could fill in for him. 875 00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:46,241 Uh, that is, if it's alright with you. 876 00:43:46,415 --> 00:43:47,996 Let's have a look at you. 877 00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:49,703 Pirouette slowly. 878 00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:54,788 - You'll do. - Then you're my date? 879 00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:57,378 I see no way out of it. I'm your date. 880 00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:06,975 You're, uh, angry with Charlie and me, aren't you? 881 00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:09,477 No, I'm not. Really, I'm not. 882 00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:12,309 Why not? You should be. 883 00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:14,895 Well, I have a high IQ and a low boiling point. 884 00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:18,777 How would you like to buy me a malted milk 885 00:44:18,948 --> 00:44:21,530 and a tuna fish sandwich at the corner drugstore? 886 00:44:21,701 --> 00:44:23,532 Why, I'd be delighted. 887 00:44:23,703 --> 00:44:27,696 And, uh, maybe we could have a... A drink someplace afterwards? 888 00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:29,330 Who knows? The night is young. 889 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,491 We're middle-aged, anything can happen. 890 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:33,284 Shall we dance? 891 00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:36,329 J you see a pair of laughing eyes j 892 00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:39,465 j and suddenly your sighing sighs j 893 00:44:39,635 --> 00:44:40,995 j you're thinking nothing's wrong j 894 00:44:41,095 --> 00:44:43,427 j you string along boy then snap j 895 00:44:45,391 --> 00:44:46,881 j those eyes those sighs j 896 00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:49,345 j they're part of the tender trap j 897 00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:54,226 j you're hand in hand beneath the trees j 898 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,358 j and soon there's music in the breeze j 899 00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:58,938 j you're acting kind of smart j 900 00:44:59,113 --> 00:45:01,399 j until your heart just goes wap j 901 00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:04,861 j those trees that breeze j 902 00:45:05,036 --> 00:45:08,324 j they're part of the tender trap j 903 00:45:08,497 --> 00:45:10,738 j some starry night j 904 00:45:10,917 --> 00:45:14,876 j when his kisses make you tingle j 905 00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:17,162 j he'll hold you tight & 906 00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:22,050 j and you'll hate yourself for being single j 907 00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:24,927 j and all at once it seems so nice j 908 00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:28,055 j the folks are throwing shoes and rice j 909 00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:32,014 j you hurry to a spot that's just a dot on the map j 910 00:45:34,106 --> 00:45:37,018 j you wonder how it all came about j 911 00:45:37,193 --> 00:45:40,105 j it's too late now there's no getting out j 912 00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:44,397 j you fell in love and love is the tender trap jj 913 00:45:46,410 --> 00:45:48,526 alright, not bad for a first try. 914 00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:50,035 I liked it. Had a lot of schmaltz. 915 00:45:50,206 --> 00:45:51,867 That's all. That's all, everybody. 916 00:45:52,041 --> 00:45:53,872 Tomorrow morning 10 o'clock sharp. 917 00:45:54,043 --> 00:45:56,125 Including miss gillis. 918 00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:09,714 What did you think of it, Mr. reader? 919 00:46:09,892 --> 00:46:11,223 Comme ci comme ca. 920 00:46:11,394 --> 00:46:12,663 But you heard what the director said. 921 00:46:12,687 --> 00:46:14,427 He said it had a lot of schmaltz. 922 00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:17,472 That's surface schmaltz, Julie. The worst kind. 923 00:46:17,650 --> 00:46:19,641 You can't throw a song like that away. 924 00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:21,730 It's gotta have more warmth. 925 00:46:21,904 --> 00:46:23,815 Look, I'll show you what I mean. 926 00:46:32,832 --> 00:46:37,952 J you see a pair of laughing eyes j 927 00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:42,714 j and suddenly your sighing sighs j 928 00:46:42,883 --> 00:46:44,794 j you're thinking nothing's wrong j 929 00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:48,086 j you string along boy then snap j 930 00:46:51,726 --> 00:46:54,058 j those eyes those sighs j 931 00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:58,221 j they're part of the tender trap j 932 00:46:58,399 --> 00:46:59,684 you see what I mean? 933 00:46:59,859 --> 00:47:02,350 You just gotta let it settle a little bit. 934 00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:07,739 J you're hand in hand beneath the trees j 935 00:47:07,908 --> 00:47:12,618 j and soon there's music in the breeze j 936 00:47:12,788 --> 00:47:14,574 j you're acting kind of smart j 937 00:47:14,749 --> 00:47:18,037 j until your heart just goes wap j 938 00:47:21,464 --> 00:47:23,705 j those trees that breeze j 939 00:47:23,883 --> 00:47:27,000 j they're part of the tender trap j 940 00:47:29,472 --> 00:47:33,556 j some starry night j 941 00:47:33,726 --> 00:47:36,388 j when her kisses make you j 942 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:39,641 j tingle j 943 00:47:39,815 --> 00:47:42,898 j she'll hold you tight & 944 00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:47,153 j and you'll hate yourself for being j 945 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:51,532 j single j 946 00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:57,868 j and all at once it seems so nice j 947 00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:02,957 j the folks are throwing shoes and rice j 948 00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:09,091 j you hurry to a spot that's just a dot on the map j 949 00:48:09,261 --> 00:48:12,469 j voom voom voom j 950 00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:17,509 j you wonder how it all came about j 951 00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:21,850 j it's too late now there's no getting out j 952 00:48:22,024 --> 00:48:24,356 j you fell in love j 953 00:48:24,527 --> 00:48:27,894 j and love is the tender trap jj 954 00:48:30,324 --> 00:48:32,189 oh, gee. That was nice. 955 00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:35,242 Well, I'm starved. Let's go to dinner. 956 00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:36,788 Together? 957 00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:38,120 Of course. Come on. 958 00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:46,375 J you see a pair of laughing eyes j 959 00:48:46,549 --> 00:48:51,168 j and suddenly your sighing sighs j 960 00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:53,506 j you're thinking nothing's wrong j 961 00:48:53,681 --> 00:48:56,889 j you string along boy then snap j 962 00:49:00,354 --> 00:49:02,515 j those eyes those sighs j 963 00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:05,807 j they're part of the tender trap jj 964 00:49:43,022 --> 00:49:44,933 Hello? 965 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:47,063 Oh, hello, Poppy. 966 00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:48,895 No, he hasn't come in yet. 967 00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:53,150 Sure, I'll tell him. I won't forget. 968 00:49:53,324 --> 00:49:54,689 Bye. 969 00:50:07,713 --> 00:50:11,297 Oh, hi, Joe. = your entire harem called. 970 00:50:11,467 --> 00:50:13,423 - Good girls. - The last one was Poppy. 971 00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:15,755 Her uncle's whitefish is in town. 972 00:50:15,930 --> 00:50:17,136 Her uncle's what? 973 00:50:17,306 --> 00:50:18,716 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember. 974 00:50:18,891 --> 00:50:20,677 Julie call? = no. 975 00:50:20,851 --> 00:50:22,466 Well, she should be here any minute. 976 00:50:22,645 --> 00:50:25,182 - Fix you a drink, Joe? - No, thank you. 977 00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:27,768 Why do you have to romance that little girl? 978 00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:29,682 Oh, relax, will you, rover? 979 00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:31,600 In the first place, she's made of cast iron. 980 00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:33,770 In the second place, she's too young for you. 981 00:50:33,948 --> 00:50:35,734 Third place, you've got more dames now 982 00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:37,114 than you know what to do with. 983 00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:38,720 And in the fourth place, you have got 984 00:50:38,744 --> 00:50:40,655 a little trouble yourself, boy. 985 00:50:40,829 --> 00:50:42,490 I've been watching it develop. 986 00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:44,405 The symptoms are classic. 987 00:50:44,583 --> 00:50:47,495 Short temper, jangled nerves. 988 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:50,252 And even rude to your friends and your loved ones. 989 00:50:50,422 --> 00:50:52,629 What you need, son, is a little female companionship. 990 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,256 Thank you very much, doctor. 991 00:50:54,426 --> 00:50:56,883 It's nothing. Now, Joe, don't sit around 992 00:50:57,054 --> 00:50:58,760 by yourself again tonight, will you? 993 00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:01,217 As a matter of fact, I'm not. 994 00:51:01,392 --> 00:51:04,134 Aha, you have a date. 995 00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:07,303 - Mm-hmm. - Who is she? Anybody I know? 996 00:51:12,111 --> 00:51:14,227 - Again? - Again. 997 00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,739 Well, that's great, Joe. Just great. 998 00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:21,867 - Did she call you? - No, I called her. 999 00:51:22,037 --> 00:51:24,870 Now there's a switch. = oh. 1000 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:30,117 As a matter of fact, I'm on my way to pick her up now. 1001 00:51:30,296 --> 00:51:33,413 Forgive me for setting a precedent. 1002 00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:35,252 As a matter of another fact, I've got 1003 00:51:35,426 --> 00:51:37,462 two dates with Sylvia tonight. 1004 00:51:37,636 --> 00:51:40,423 One for dinner and one for after her concert. 1005 00:51:41,682 --> 00:51:43,513 Goodnight, sultan. 1006 00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:01,694 - Hi, honey. - Hi, Charlie. 1007 00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:03,109 Hey. 1008 00:52:05,998 --> 00:52:09,365 Oh, wait a minute. You can do better than that. 1009 00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:10,999 Yes, I can. 1010 00:52:13,213 --> 00:52:15,204 - Hello, Helen. - Hello, Charlie. 1011 00:52:19,511 --> 00:52:22,093 Uh, h... how did Joe behave today? 1012 00:52:22,264 --> 00:52:24,220 Helen: Like an angel. = like a... 1013 00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:26,036 Will you, please, tell me who that girl is? 1014 00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:28,176 Shh. Helen: Be good, Joe. 1015 00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:33,710 So long, Charlie. See you tomorrow. 1016 00:52:33,734 --> 00:52:35,770 Yup, uh... yeah, so long, Helen. 1017 00:52:35,944 --> 00:52:37,809 Thanks a lot. 1018 00:52:41,742 --> 00:52:46,202 Well, just who is miss deadpan? 1019 00:52:46,372 --> 00:52:49,660 Oh, uh, she's a, um, she's a professional dog Walker. 1020 00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:52,449 Yeah, that's what she is. She walks the dog every day. 1021 00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:55,415 I never heard of a professional dog Walker. 1022 00:52:55,589 --> 00:52:58,752 And why does she have to be so attractive? 1023 00:52:58,926 --> 00:53:01,133 I, uh, I never noticed 1024 00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:03,294 that she was particularly attractive. 1025 00:53:05,432 --> 00:53:06,638 Oh. 1026 00:53:07,976 --> 00:53:09,637 What's the matter, Julie? 1027 00:53:09,812 --> 00:53:12,428 Gee whiz, you came in here with a chip on your shoulder. 1028 00:53:14,983 --> 00:53:16,814 Well... 1029 00:53:16,985 --> 00:53:19,271 Well, I'm getting sick and tired of it. 1030 00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:21,858 Well, uh, Charlie, I haven't complained before, 1031 00:53:22,032 --> 00:53:23,112 but do you think I like it? 1032 00:53:23,158 --> 00:53:24,273 Like what? 1033 00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:25,861 Look, I know this is the atomic age 1034 00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:27,401 and we're two civilized adults. 1035 00:53:27,579 --> 00:53:28,864 You made that clear. 1036 00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,879 But a girl still doesn't like to call for a man 1037 00:53:30,999 --> 00:53:33,866 at his apartment or meet him at a bar. 1038 00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:36,160 Especially when the whole evening has been planned 1039 00:53:36,338 --> 00:53:39,796 without any consultation. 1040 00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:42,629 - Consultation? - That's right. 1041 00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:45,294 Every date we've had has been all figured out by you. 1042 00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:49,590 You've never asked me once, not once what I wanted to do. 1043 00:53:49,768 --> 00:53:52,009 Oh, well, honey, I'm sorry. 1044 00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,392 Honest, I'm sorry, baby. 1045 00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:57,352 You should have mentioned it to me. 1046 00:53:57,526 --> 00:53:59,892 Look, from here on in, there will be a change. 1047 00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:02,527 What do you wanna do tonight? 1048 00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:04,404 Well, I... I don't know. 1049 00:54:04,575 --> 00:54:07,817 We've got the whole town. Just name something. 1050 00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:10,486 Well, gee, I don't know. What do you want? 1051 00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:13,030 Oh, no. Oh, no, not I. 1052 00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:15,574 This is your evening. = oh. 1053 00:54:17,421 --> 00:54:19,582 - Well... - Just take your time. 1054 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,543 Just think about it. 1055 00:54:29,224 --> 00:54:31,510 Of course, I could... 1056 00:54:31,685 --> 00:54:34,518 I could make a tiny suggestion. 1057 00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:36,519 Yes? 1058 00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:39,807 Well, there's a wonderful restaurant down on bank street 1059 00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:43,068 where they serve the world's greatest paella valenciana. 1060 00:54:43,238 --> 00:54:44,819 Yeah? 1061 00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:46,760 And then after that, we could go up the street 1062 00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,704 a few blocks where there's a little Mexican joint 1063 00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:50,280 I haven't been to in a long time. 1064 00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,319 They got a crazy five-piece rumba band, 1065 00:54:52,498 --> 00:54:54,739 the best you've ever danced to. 1066 00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:57,078 Then we could pad right across the street, 1067 00:54:57,252 --> 00:54:59,834 that is, if you wanted to, 1068 00:55:00,005 --> 00:55:01,870 to a lovely little cafe where they serve up 1069 00:55:02,049 --> 00:55:05,257 the best coffee and guitar music in the whole city. 1070 00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:09,215 Charlie? =- mm? 1071 00:55:12,226 --> 00:55:14,808 The next time I tell you I wanna plan an evening, 1072 00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:16,593 just don't listen. 1073 00:55:16,772 --> 00:55:18,308 Alright, I won't. 1074 00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:21,064 Because you know more about how to please a lady 1075 00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:23,942 than any other man on the eastern seaboard. 1076 00:55:24,112 --> 00:55:25,977 Thank you, and there's no other lady 1077 00:55:26,156 --> 00:55:27,362 I would rather please. 1078 00:55:27,533 --> 00:55:31,276 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1079 00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:32,863 Now if you'll give me a few seconds, 1080 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:35,029 I'll go in and change and we'll be on our way. 1081 00:55:35,207 --> 00:55:36,538 Swell. 1082 00:55:36,708 --> 00:55:38,369 In the meantime, I'll just read your mail. 1083 00:55:38,544 --> 00:55:40,626 Swell. 1084 00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:42,457 Uh, Julie. 1085 00:55:42,631 --> 00:55:45,168 - Julie. - What's the matter? 1086 00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:47,549 Nothing. You're just so cute, that's all. 1087 00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:49,880 Well, so are you. 1088 00:55:50,055 --> 00:55:52,967 Oh, I'm glad you think so. 1089 00:55:53,141 --> 00:55:54,972 Now as long as we're going to a Spanish joint, 1090 00:55:55,143 --> 00:55:56,538 why don't we tango right to the door? 1091 00:55:56,562 --> 00:55:58,348 I'm with you. 1092 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:04,437 Ain't this joint the most? 1093 00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:06,852 I think it's dull. = oh. 1094 00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:09,050 Well, we could traipse across the street to another joint. 1095 00:56:09,074 --> 00:56:12,282 No, thanks. I've had enough entertainment for one evening. 1096 00:56:12,452 --> 00:56:14,943 Well, I can't take you home now. What would your mother say? 1097 00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:17,704 I don't know. Mom's in Boston visiting my aunt. 1098 00:56:19,459 --> 00:56:20,574 Oh? 1099 00:56:20,752 --> 00:56:22,538 Is she gonna be there long? 1100 00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:25,546 I don't think she'll be back till tomorrow night. 1101 00:56:25,716 --> 00:56:28,082 And your father? I guess he's at home, huh? 1102 00:56:28,260 --> 00:56:29,796 Um, papa goes where mama goes 1103 00:56:29,970 --> 00:56:32,632 and, uh, papa won't be home till Monday night. 1104 00:56:34,349 --> 00:56:37,307 Well, you know, this joint is a little dull. 1105 00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:38,933 How could you suggest it, anyway? 1106 00:56:39,104 --> 00:56:40,104 - Me? - Watch it. 1107 00:56:40,188 --> 00:56:41,598 Stand back, buddy, here. 1108 00:56:41,773 --> 00:56:44,230 Move out. Thank you very much. Excuse me. Bye. 1109 00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:52,447 I like this idea. 1110 00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:55,943 I don't know who I'm fonder of. 1111 00:56:56,121 --> 00:56:58,203 You or that aunt of yours up in Boston. 1112 00:56:58,373 --> 00:57:00,159 Charlie, I think you'd better go. 1113 00:57:00,334 --> 00:57:01,619 Why? 1114 00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:03,249 Because I'm a well-brought-up girl 1115 00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:06,002 and that's a remark my parents would expect me to make. 1116 00:57:06,173 --> 00:57:08,505 Of course, you could prolong things 1117 00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:11,132 by asking for a nightcap. 1118 00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:13,294 Miss gillis, may I have a slug of scotch? 1119 00:57:13,472 --> 00:57:14,882 Certainly. But it will take a minute 1120 00:57:15,057 --> 00:57:16,388 because mom's a teetotaler 1121 00:57:16,558 --> 00:57:18,799 and pop hides the stuff in my hat boxes. 1122 00:57:31,657 --> 00:57:33,943 - Is water alright? - Yeah, fine. 1123 00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:42,455 Say, these the folks? = uh-huh. 1124 00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:45,242 Hmm, they look evenly matched. 1125 00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:47,752 Except perhaps I think mom may have 40 pounds on him. 1126 00:57:47,923 --> 00:57:50,084 I know what you're thinking. 1127 00:57:50,258 --> 00:57:52,169 Let me ask you something. Here. 1128 00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:53,800 Has your dad got his hair? 1129 00:57:53,971 --> 00:57:55,427 Oh, a wisp here and there. 1130 00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:57,383 Alright, we'll make a pact. 1131 00:57:57,557 --> 00:58:00,515 You won't get bald and I won't get fat. 1132 00:58:00,686 --> 00:58:02,222 I'll drink to that. 1133 00:58:04,147 --> 00:58:07,059 Now what's on the agenda? = mm. 1134 00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:10,104 Let's neck. 1135 00:58:10,278 --> 00:58:12,394 A very sound idea. 1136 00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:20,319 Mm-mm. = mm. 1137 00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:22,829 You know, I've been meaning to tell you something for days. 1138 00:58:24,751 --> 00:58:26,707 You are the softest girl. 1139 00:58:26,878 --> 00:58:29,210 Tell me more. 1140 00:58:29,381 --> 00:58:31,292 I'd be delighted. 1141 00:58:31,466 --> 00:58:32,922 One second. 1142 00:58:37,222 --> 00:58:39,508 Why did you do that? 1143 00:58:39,683 --> 00:58:43,722 Well, because some words take on a different meaning 1144 00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:46,102 in the dark. 1145 00:58:46,273 --> 00:58:47,604 Oh. 1146 00:58:49,985 --> 00:58:52,772 - Charlie. - Mm-hmm? 1147 00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:56,063 You're not talking, you're nibbling. 1148 00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:03,828 I'm afraid your idea of necking and my idea of necking 1149 00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:06,490 are a little far apart. 1150 00:59:06,668 --> 00:59:08,204 So? 1151 00:59:08,378 --> 00:59:11,370 So in the meantime, we'll just sit quietly and... 1152 00:59:11,548 --> 00:59:12,548 And what? 1153 00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:15,458 And, uh, and look at television. 1154 00:59:15,635 --> 00:59:17,125 Oh, goody. 1155 00:59:17,304 --> 00:59:19,032 And perhaps later we can go out in the kitchen 1156 00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:21,138 and make some fudge. 1157 00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:23,594 Man on TV: Remember, this six-cylinder, four-door, 1158 00:59:23,769 --> 00:59:25,805 white-walled dynathermic convertible, 1159 00:59:25,979 --> 00:59:28,721 only 1790. 1160 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:31,936 17907? Was that a good year for cars? 1161 00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:33,225 Shh. 1162 00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:35,234 Man: And now back to our movie. 1163 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:36,815 I'll see you again in a few minutes 1164 00:59:36,990 --> 00:59:39,072 with another fantastic offer. 1165 01:00:34,381 --> 01:00:36,121 Oh. Uh, maybe 1166 01:00:36,299 --> 01:00:37,902 watching television wasn't such a good idea. 1167 01:00:37,926 --> 01:00:39,206 No, it's not a good idea at all. 1168 01:00:39,302 --> 01:00:40,633 No, I think we better forget 1169 01:00:40,804 --> 01:00:42,795 about that whole thing. 1170 01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:45,305 Uh, are you interested in art? 1171 01:00:46,852 --> 01:00:48,308 Well, I could pretend to be. 1172 01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:50,309 That's good, because daddy bought me 1173 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:51,890 the loveliest book for Christmas. 1174 01:00:52,065 --> 01:00:54,351 It's just full of wonderful reproductions 1175 01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:56,733 of renaissance masterpieces. 1176 01:00:56,903 --> 01:00:58,894 This is more than I had hoped for. 1177 01:00:59,072 --> 01:01:02,735 Now before you scoff, just take a look at some of these. 1178 01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:04,194 A corot. 1179 01:01:04,369 --> 01:01:06,781 Isn't the detail amazing? = mm-hmm. 1180 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,701 Julie: Michelangelo's Jeremiah. 1181 01:01:10,876 --> 01:01:12,958 How are you, meyer? 1182 01:01:13,128 --> 01:01:15,335 Oh, you're impossible. 1183 01:01:17,132 --> 01:01:19,339 Say, do you suppose her folks are out of town? 1184 01:01:21,261 --> 01:01:22,546 Honestly. 1185 01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:24,302 Bup, bup, bup, hold it. Just one second. 1186 01:01:24,472 --> 01:01:28,056 I wanna drink in all this amazing detail. 1187 01:01:28,226 --> 01:01:29,932 - Oh. - Mm. 1188 01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:32,139 Charlie. = Julie. 1189 01:01:44,659 --> 01:01:46,945 - Julie. - Oh, no, no, Charlie... 1190 01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,862 Oh, darling, there's no use trying to fight it. 1191 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,031 Everything is conspiring against us. 1192 01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:54,416 Science and the arts and the animal kingdom. 1193 01:01:54,586 --> 01:01:56,666 No, Charlie, you mustn't let them give you any ideas. 1194 01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:58,874 I swear to you, it's my own idea. 1195 01:01:59,049 --> 01:02:00,969 But, Charlie, they're the happiest married couple 1196 01:02:01,092 --> 01:02:03,333 in the neighborhood. They're entitled... 1197 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,732 What did I say? I didn't say anything. 1198 01:02:22,906 --> 01:02:27,115 Charlie, how many girls are there in your life? 1199 01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:29,150 What? 1200 01:02:29,329 --> 01:02:32,537 I said how many other girls are there in your life? 1201 01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,450 Oh. 1202 01:02:36,628 --> 01:02:38,869 Carol and... 1203 01:02:39,047 --> 01:02:41,003 Jayne and... 1204 01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:43,711 That's about it. 1205 01:02:43,885 --> 01:02:46,797 "Poppy, Jessica, miss snr, Helen." 1206 01:02:46,972 --> 01:02:48,462 What about them? 1207 01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:50,505 Oh, well, they're second-stringers. 1208 01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:52,766 They practically never get in the game. 1209 01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:57,387 You're not funny. 1210 01:02:57,565 --> 01:03:00,147 How many are there? 1211 01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:01,808 Oh, now, baby, you know better 1212 01:03:01,987 --> 01:03:03,943 than to ask that kind of a question. 1213 01:03:06,241 --> 01:03:07,526 Well, I'm sorry. 1214 01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:11,701 This is a new game to me. 1215 01:03:11,871 --> 01:03:13,611 I don't know the rules. 1216 01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:16,452 Oh, Julie, relax. 1217 01:03:16,626 --> 01:03:18,036 How many? 1218 01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:23,042 Sweetie, it's a beautiful night 1219 01:03:23,216 --> 01:03:25,423 and your folks are up in Boston 1220 01:03:25,593 --> 01:03:27,424 and there's nobody in the whole wide world 1221 01:03:27,595 --> 01:03:29,256 except you and me. 1222 01:03:29,431 --> 01:03:31,262 And tomorrow? 1223 01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:33,594 Tomorrow, same thing. 1224 01:03:33,768 --> 01:03:34,974 We could go riding or... 1225 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:36,806 And Monday? 1226 01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:39,312 What do you want, a contract? 1227 01:03:39,482 --> 01:03:41,438 No. 1228 01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:45,727 All I want is a straight answer to a straight question. 1229 01:03:45,905 --> 01:03:48,317 How many other girls are there in your life? 1230 01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:53,034 Four hundred and ninety six. 1231 01:03:53,204 --> 01:03:55,820 There used to be 497 1232 01:03:55,999 --> 01:03:57,990 until one of them started asking questions 1233 01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:00,284 that were none of her darn business. 1234 01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:05,163 - Thank you. - You are welcome. 1235 01:04:08,636 --> 01:04:11,969 Well, why don't you cry now? Doesn't that come next? 1236 01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:14,347 First, the silly questions and then the silly answers 1237 01:04:14,517 --> 01:04:15,632 and then the tears. 1238 01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:17,926 Go on, do the whole bit. 1239 01:04:21,858 --> 01:04:23,814 You listen to me. 1240 01:04:23,985 --> 01:04:26,727 Will you listen to me? 1241 01:04:26,905 --> 01:04:29,772 Listen to me, god's gift to women, 1242 01:04:29,949 --> 01:04:31,735 and listen good. 1243 01:04:31,910 --> 01:04:34,447 From now on, you're going to call for me at my house. 1244 01:04:34,621 --> 01:04:36,953 You're gonna ask me how I want to spend the evening. 1245 01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:39,409 And you're gonna meet my folks and be polite to them. 1246 01:04:39,584 --> 01:04:42,576 And you're gonna bring me candy and flowers. 1247 01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:45,211 And you're gonna drop every one of those other girls. 1248 01:04:45,382 --> 01:04:48,590 All 496 of them. 1249 01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,001 Now why would I wanna do a thing like that? 1250 01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:55,171 Because I love you. 1251 01:04:56,935 --> 01:04:59,677 Because you what? 1252 01:04:59,854 --> 01:05:01,139 That's right. 1253 01:05:01,314 --> 01:05:04,056 Because I love you. 1254 01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:06,600 You think that's such a wonderful thing, 1255 01:05:06,778 --> 01:05:08,939 being in love with you? 1256 01:05:09,114 --> 01:05:10,729 I never wanted to. 1257 01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:13,239 I don't want to now. 1258 01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:16,072 You're selfish, you're arrogant, you're spoiled, 1259 01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:18,703 you... you're much too old for me. 1260 01:05:18,873 --> 01:05:22,161 - Now see here... - Too old. I said too old. 1261 01:05:22,335 --> 01:05:25,668 Too selfish, too arrogant, too spoiled. 1262 01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:29,457 Oh, lord knows why I love you, but I do. 1263 01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:32,592 And that's why there's gonna be some changes made right now. 1264 01:05:34,305 --> 01:05:36,591 Now, listen. = you listen. 1265 01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,097 You're very big with your terrace 1266 01:05:38,268 --> 01:05:39,849 and your fancy nightclubs 1267 01:05:40,019 --> 01:05:43,056 and... and your professional dog walkers. 1268 01:05:43,231 --> 01:05:44,562 But let me tell you something. 1269 01:05:44,732 --> 01:05:46,973 You've got a lot to learn about women. 1270 01:05:48,486 --> 01:05:50,772 - Me? - Yes, you. 1271 01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:52,341 And I'm gonna try to straighten you out 1272 01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:53,730 if it's not too late. 1273 01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:56,570 I'm gonna try to make a man out of you. 1274 01:05:56,744 --> 01:06:00,032 Because that's what I want to marry. A man. 1275 01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:04,908 Marry? Well, who... who asked you? 1276 01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:13,129 Well, what's this all about? 1277 01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:15,214 If you don't intend to marry me, say so how 1278 01:06:15,388 --> 01:06:17,424 because that's what I want. 1279 01:06:17,599 --> 01:06:20,807 Not a terrace, not pa-la-la valetcia, 1280 01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:22,558 whatever you call it. 1281 01:06:22,729 --> 01:06:24,720 Just a plain old marriage 1282 01:06:24,898 --> 01:06:27,230 and a house and kids 1283 01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:29,607 and a life that makes some sense. 1284 01:06:31,446 --> 01:06:33,437 Are you all through now? 1285 01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:36,902 Yes. 1286 01:06:37,076 --> 01:06:39,783 I take it then this is an ultimatum. 1287 01:06:39,954 --> 01:06:42,445 - Yes. - And you want me to marry you. 1288 01:06:42,624 --> 01:06:45,787 But first, you want me to reform and mend my ways. 1289 01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,746 Yes. 1290 01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:49,786 Alright. 1291 01:06:49,964 --> 01:06:54,253 Now let a selfish, spoiled, arrogant old man 1292 01:06:54,427 --> 01:06:56,418 tell you a couple of things. 1293 01:06:56,596 --> 01:07:00,430 Before you propose to a man, wait until he shows you 1294 01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:04,092 at least a little indication that he's interested. 1295 01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:07,103 Also, do not start by telling him 1296 01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:10,936 he is a decrepit old louse. 1297 01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:13,396 So much for generalities. 1298 01:07:13,571 --> 01:07:15,402 Now let us get down to cases. 1299 01:07:17,075 --> 01:07:20,283 I have never said that I wanted to marry you 1300 01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:23,945 nor am I moved to do so right now. 1301 01:07:24,123 --> 01:07:26,705 Assuming I did wanna get married, 1302 01:07:26,876 --> 01:07:29,788 I know a girl who comes a lot closer 1303 01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:33,000 to my idea of being a wife than you do. 1304 01:07:33,174 --> 01:07:34,584 Oh. 1305 01:07:34,759 --> 01:07:37,592 In fact, there are many, many girls. 1306 01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:41,508 Why... 1307 01:07:41,683 --> 01:07:44,049 This is my apartment. You get out! 1308 01:07:54,988 --> 01:07:57,400 "This is my apartment. You get out.” 1309 01:08:05,456 --> 01:08:07,321 Okay, what happened? 1310 01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:09,020 If she thinks I'm gonna sit around here 1311 01:08:09,085 --> 01:08:10,896 and wait for her to phone me and apologize to me, 1312 01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:12,876 she's sadly mistaken, boy. 1313 01:08:13,047 --> 01:08:15,754 You and miss stonewall Jackson have words? 1314 01:08:15,925 --> 01:08:16,965 You're still on your feet. 1315 01:08:17,135 --> 01:08:18,362 It must have been a technical ko. 1316 01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:19,386 Oh, shut up. 1317 01:08:20,471 --> 01:08:22,086 Get that, will you? 1318 01:08:25,518 --> 01:08:27,554 It's still the shank of the evening, anyway. 1319 01:08:29,272 --> 01:08:31,888 Candy and flowers. 1320 01:08:32,066 --> 01:08:34,398 Any number of girls who will have me. 1321 01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:36,434 Just as I am too. 1322 01:08:38,615 --> 01:08:40,606 It's Helen. Alright, what happened? 1323 01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:43,024 She... Helen? Helen. 1324 01:08:44,412 --> 01:08:47,074 - Helen. - Oh, hello, Charlie. 1325 01:08:47,248 --> 01:08:49,248 Uh, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate 1326 01:08:49,417 --> 01:08:50,497 your walking Joe every day. 1327 01:08:50,668 --> 01:08:52,033 Oh, it's nothing, Charlie. 1328 01:08:52,211 --> 01:08:53,480 And I thought it would be a nice idea 1329 01:08:53,504 --> 01:08:54,607 if tonight you and I went out 1330 01:08:54,631 --> 01:08:55,837 and had a big fat dinner. 1331 01:08:56,007 --> 01:08:57,918 Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie. I can't. 1332 01:08:58,092 --> 01:09:00,048 Oh, why not? 1333 01:09:00,219 --> 01:09:03,336 Well, you see, it's really Joey's fault. 1334 01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:04,514 What? 1335 01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:07,139 Well, two weeks ago last Monday, 1336 01:09:07,310 --> 01:09:10,768 Joey met a lovely poodle on the corner of 57th and 2nd Avenue 1337 01:09:10,938 --> 01:09:12,553 named Florence. 1338 01:09:12,732 --> 01:09:15,849 Florence has a lovely owner named Peter caruthers. 1339 01:09:16,027 --> 01:09:17,858 Well, as Joey got to know Florence better, 1340 01:09:18,029 --> 01:09:20,520 I got to know Pete better and... 1341 01:09:20,698 --> 01:09:23,906 Well, last night, we decided to get married. 1342 01:09:24,077 --> 01:09:26,193 Married? When? 1343 01:09:26,371 --> 01:09:27,861 - Wednesday. - Wednesday? 1344 01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:29,995 Oh, well, you can still go out with me tonight. 1345 01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:32,122 Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie, I can't. 1346 01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:35,581 But I'll be eternally grateful to you and Joey. 1347 01:09:35,755 --> 01:09:37,541 Oh, of course, after Wednesday, 1348 01:09:37,715 --> 01:09:40,081 you'll have to walk him by yourself. 1349 01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:41,624 Bye. 1350 01:09:50,645 --> 01:09:52,431 What's so funny? 1351 01:09:52,605 --> 01:09:56,268 Do you realize this poor girl is gonna marry a poodle owner? 1352 01:09:56,442 --> 01:09:58,808 Poodle owners make terrible husbands. 1353 01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:03,509 You won't catch me sitting around here by myself tonight. 1354 01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:05,945 Not this kid. No, sir. 1355 01:10:06,119 --> 01:10:07,780 Any number of girls... 1356 01:10:13,501 --> 01:10:14,911 Western union? 1357 01:10:15,086 --> 01:10:16,542 I'd like to send a telegram. 1358 01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:19,170 Saks fifth Avenue, New York. 1359 01:10:19,340 --> 01:10:21,831 When a man comes in and pays $15 for a tie, 1360 01:10:22,009 --> 01:10:25,593 is it too much to expect a stinking tie to tie? 1361 01:10:25,763 --> 01:10:28,379 $15 for this tie. I used to buy a suit for $15. 1362 01:10:30,977 --> 01:10:33,889 Not you. You're in no condition to answer anything. 1363 01:10:37,275 --> 01:10:40,108 Ah. I don't know why I don't wear bow ties, anyway. 1364 01:10:40,278 --> 01:10:41,768 Joe: Oh, hi, Poppy. Poppy: Joe. 1365 01:10:41,946 --> 01:10:43,186 Poppy. 1366 01:10:43,364 --> 01:10:45,229 Poppy, you doll. 1367 01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:46,989 How did you know that in all the world 1368 01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:49,321 the only person I wanted to see was beautiful you? 1369 01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:52,487 Oh, darling. Look out. Oh, look out. 1370 01:10:52,665 --> 01:10:55,532 Oh, a present for me? You shouldn't have done it. 1371 01:10:55,710 --> 01:10:57,541 - I had to. - Nonsense. 1372 01:10:57,712 --> 01:11:02,172 All you had to do was bring your little old sweet self. 1373 01:11:02,341 --> 01:11:03,751 What the heck is it? 1374 01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:06,212 Charlie, you know how small my refrigerator is. 1375 01:11:06,387 --> 01:11:07,968 I can't freeze it in there. 1376 01:11:08,139 --> 01:11:09,629 Well, look at your refrigerator. 1377 01:11:09,807 --> 01:11:12,423 Nine cubic feet and four Pearl onions. 1378 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:14,684 Oh. Oh, this is your uncle's whitefish. 1379 01:11:14,854 --> 01:11:16,970 No, Charlie, it's your whitefish. 1380 01:11:17,148 --> 01:11:20,766 Oh. Well, I'm delighted to have it and... 1381 01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:22,183 Well, you're a doll to bring it 1382 01:11:22,278 --> 01:11:24,564 and I'll take very good care of it. 1383 01:11:24,739 --> 01:11:26,650 There's something I'd like to ask you, Poppy. 1384 01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:29,065 Uh... 1385 01:11:29,243 --> 01:11:31,700 Uh, you are, are you not, 1386 01:11:31,871 --> 01:11:33,657 the girl who loves paella valenciana 1387 01:11:33,831 --> 01:11:35,367 better than anything in the world? 1388 01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:36,747 That's me. I'm the girl. 1389 01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:38,203 And you are, are you not, 1390 01:11:38,377 --> 01:11:39,992 the girl who always shouts "ole!" 1391 01:11:40,171 --> 01:11:41,661 Whenever you hear guitar music? 1392 01:11:41,839 --> 01:11:44,046 I'm the girl who does it. Ole. 1393 01:11:44,217 --> 01:11:47,004 Then you must be the girl who's going with me right now 1394 01:11:47,178 --> 01:11:49,260 downtown to hear some Spanish music 1395 01:11:49,430 --> 01:11:50,886 and eat some Spanish food, yes? 1396 01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:52,342 No. 1397 01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:56,392 No? 1398 01:11:57,563 --> 01:11:58,848 Well, why not? 1399 01:11:59,023 --> 01:12:00,684 Because I have a date with somebody else. 1400 01:12:00,858 --> 01:12:03,850 He's waiting downstairs. 1401 01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:06,440 Oh? And is he going to take you downtown 1402 01:12:06,614 --> 01:12:10,232 and buy you espadrilles and feed you paella valenciana? 1403 01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:13,401 No, he is going to take me to radio city music hall 1404 01:12:13,579 --> 01:12:17,037 and afterwards if it's not too late, schrafft's. 1405 01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:19,449 What's your problem? Get rid of the square and we'll go. 1406 01:12:19,627 --> 01:12:22,494 But he is going to call me tomorrow. 1407 01:12:27,844 --> 01:12:30,381 Oh? 1408 01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:33,718 Well, does that make him some sort of a hero? 1409 01:12:33,891 --> 01:12:36,428 It's polite, Charlie. It's gentlemanly. 1410 01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:42,267 Are you calling me a louse? 1411 01:12:42,441 --> 01:12:44,727 Oh, certainly not. 1412 01:12:44,902 --> 01:12:47,439 I wouldn't dream of calling you a louse. 1413 01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:50,195 - A stinker? - A stinker. That's it. 1414 01:12:52,493 --> 01:12:54,700 Thanks a lot. = pura nada. 1415 01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:58,616 Well, then I guess it's goodbye. 1416 01:12:58,791 --> 01:13:00,031 Why? 1417 01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,824 Well, after what you just called me? 1418 01:13:02,003 --> 01:13:03,709 A stinker? 1419 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,713 But, sweetie, I never thought you were anything else. 1420 01:13:10,177 --> 01:13:12,839 Now you take good care of that whitefish. 1421 01:13:13,014 --> 01:13:14,504 Bye. 1422 01:13:22,481 --> 01:13:24,767 What are you doing tonight? 1423 01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,289 What's so amusing? 1424 01:13:43,711 --> 01:13:46,168 Retribution, Charles. 1425 01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:47,875 Comeuppance. 1426 01:13:48,049 --> 01:13:50,085 You're being paid back. 1427 01:13:50,259 --> 01:13:52,170 For all the phone calls you promised to return 1428 01:13:52,345 --> 01:13:53,505 and didn't. 1429 01:13:53,679 --> 01:13:56,136 For all the cheeses you didn't eat. 1430 01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:59,265 For all the girls you fondled and forgot. 1431 01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:01,221 You're being paid back, 1432 01:14:01,395 --> 01:14:03,511 and all in one day. 1433 01:14:03,689 --> 01:14:05,145 That's the beauty of it. 1434 01:14:06,651 --> 01:14:08,232 What's eating you, Joe? 1435 01:14:10,029 --> 01:14:13,897 I'm your best friend and I tell you you're a louse. 1436 01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:16,817 You're one of the few really indecent men I ever met. 1437 01:14:23,584 --> 01:14:25,245 Go ahead, punch me in the nose. 1438 01:14:25,419 --> 01:14:27,831 Why should I? You'd punch back. 1439 01:14:28,005 --> 01:14:31,839 Besides, how indecent can I be if a girl like Sylvia think... 1440 01:14:32,009 --> 01:14:34,796 - Sylvia. - You don't have to call Sylvia. 1441 01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:36,461 She'll be here in a few minutes. 1442 01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:38,755 She's coming to pick me up. 1443 01:14:38,933 --> 01:14:40,924 She said it would be nostalgic. 1444 01:14:43,062 --> 01:14:44,942 Now, look, Joe, I'm a pretty broad-minded fella. 1445 01:14:45,022 --> 01:14:46,262 To put it mildly. 1446 01:14:46,440 --> 01:14:48,431 And I'm not stuffy or anything like that. 1447 01:14:48,609 --> 01:14:50,850 But I don't want you to see Sylvia again. 1448 01:14:51,028 --> 01:14:53,360 - Why not? - Because you are a married man. 1449 01:14:53,531 --> 01:14:54,691 That's why. 1450 01:14:54,865 --> 01:14:57,072 And Sylvia is a girl who... 1451 01:14:57,243 --> 01:14:59,859 Well, she's got marriage on her mind. Have you? 1452 01:15:00,037 --> 01:15:02,449 - Have you? - No, but I'm in a position to. 1453 01:15:02,623 --> 01:15:05,660 You're not. You've got a wife and three kids. 1454 01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:08,292 Now you keep away from Sylvia. 1455 01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:10,498 Listen, you jerk. 1456 01:15:10,673 --> 01:15:12,254 You want me to keep away from Sylvia? 1457 01:15:12,425 --> 01:15:14,837 Then do just one thing. Marry her. 1458 01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:18,548 - Marry her? - Yes. This is a lady. 1459 01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:22,056 A first-class, triple-distilled, a-number-one lady. 1460 01:15:22,226 --> 01:15:24,308 This isn't a trophy you hang in your game room. 1461 01:15:24,478 --> 01:15:26,184 This is a girl you marry. 1462 01:15:26,355 --> 01:15:29,188 Why don't you lay off me? All you married guys are alike. 1463 01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:31,211 Just because you're hooked, you want everybody else 1464 01:15:31,235 --> 01:15:33,521 to be hooked. Well, that's your problem, buster. 1465 01:15:38,576 --> 01:15:41,534 - Oh, hello. - Hello. 1466 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:43,224 Look, I'm sorry. I know we haven't met, 1467 01:15:43,330 --> 01:15:45,070 but it's just that I've seen you someplace. 1468 01:15:45,249 --> 01:15:46,705 Well, it's this face of mine. 1469 01:15:46,876 --> 01:15:50,164 It's what everybody's wearing this season. 1470 01:15:57,595 --> 01:15:59,586 Ir mas ee a 1471 01:16:01,599 --> 01:16:04,181 - what's the matter? - Nothing. 1472 01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:07,718 Look, I haven't known you long, but I know you pretty well. 1473 01:16:07,897 --> 01:16:09,387 What is it? 1474 01:16:09,565 --> 01:16:11,806 Well, Charlie and I have been at each other. 1475 01:16:11,984 --> 01:16:14,600 Oh? What about? 1476 01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:16,610 About you. 1477 01:16:16,781 --> 01:16:19,113 Really? I'm flattered. 1478 01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:20,773 He thinks I shouldn't go out with you. 1479 01:16:20,951 --> 01:16:24,114 This from a man who hasn't even called you in two weeks. 1480 01:16:24,288 --> 01:16:27,872 Oh, that's just Charlie's way. 1481 01:16:28,042 --> 01:16:31,034 I don't get it. Anything this guy does is okay with you. 1482 01:16:31,212 --> 01:16:33,248 Why do you let him shove you around? 1483 01:16:33,422 --> 01:16:35,062 You're a beautiful woman, you're talented, 1484 01:16:35,132 --> 01:16:36,497 you're intelligent, 1485 01:16:36,675 --> 01:16:38,916 you're everything a man dreams about. 1486 01:16:39,095 --> 01:16:41,256 Why do you stand for it? 1487 01:16:41,430 --> 01:16:43,386 Oh, Joe. 1488 01:16:43,557 --> 01:16:44,888 Dear Joe. 1489 01:16:46,852 --> 01:16:49,685 How can I tell you? 1490 01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:52,847 We come to this town from Springfield and des moines 1491 01:16:53,025 --> 01:16:55,516 and fort worth and salt lake city. 1492 01:16:55,694 --> 01:16:58,982 We're young, we're pretty, and we're talented. 1493 01:16:59,156 --> 01:17:02,614 All we have to do to get married is stay home. 1494 01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:06,323 But the boys back home don't have what we want. 1495 01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:08,533 We got our eyes on something else. 1496 01:17:08,707 --> 01:17:12,370 A career, glamor, excitement, 1497 01:17:12,545 --> 01:17:14,752 and this is the place to find it. 1498 01:17:14,922 --> 01:17:18,130 So we come to New York and we do pretty well. 1499 01:17:18,300 --> 01:17:21,417 Not great, but pretty well. 1500 01:17:21,595 --> 01:17:23,176 We make a career. 1501 01:17:23,347 --> 01:17:26,510 We find the excitement and the glamor. 1502 01:17:26,684 --> 01:17:28,720 We go to first nights. 1503 01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:30,600 We buy little mink stoles. 1504 01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:32,636 Headwaiters call us by name. 1505 01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:35,932 It's fun. It's wonderful. 1506 01:17:36,110 --> 01:17:37,441 Till one fine day, we look around 1507 01:17:37,611 --> 01:17:40,193 and we're 33 years old, we haven't got a man. 1508 01:17:40,364 --> 01:17:43,527 Oh, surely you can... = mnh-mnh. 1509 01:17:45,202 --> 01:17:46,942 Joe, do you have any idea 1510 01:17:47,121 --> 01:17:49,533 what's available to a woman of 33? 1511 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:55,542 Married men, drunks, 1512 01:17:55,713 --> 01:17:58,329 pretty boys looking for someone to support them, 1513 01:17:58,507 --> 01:18:02,125 lunatics looking for their fifth divorce. 1514 01:18:02,303 --> 01:18:04,510 Quite a list, isn't it? 1515 01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:07,046 So we set our cap for Charlie. 1516 01:18:07,224 --> 01:18:09,931 He's eligible, he's attractive, 1517 01:18:10,102 --> 01:18:12,639 he's employed and reasonably sane. 1518 01:18:12,813 --> 01:18:14,724 But you don't love him, do you? 1519 01:18:16,692 --> 01:18:20,184 How did the word love ever creep into this conversation? 1520 01:18:20,362 --> 01:18:22,318 Sylvia, there are worse things for a girl 1521 01:18:22,489 --> 01:18:24,821 than not getting married. 1522 01:18:24,992 --> 01:18:26,402 Name three. 1523 01:18:28,037 --> 01:18:30,449 Honey, I can't let you throw yourself away. 1524 01:18:34,543 --> 01:18:36,704 Do you have any other ideas, Joe? 1525 01:18:39,548 --> 01:18:40,958 Sylvia. 1526 01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:45,672 So here we are. 1527 01:18:51,393 --> 01:18:52,849 Salaam, sultan. 1528 01:18:55,564 --> 01:18:58,055 Sylvia darling. 1529 01:18:58,234 --> 01:18:59,644 What's the matter? 1530 01:19:02,154 --> 01:19:04,361 I'm blind and I'm stupid. 1531 01:19:06,533 --> 01:19:09,149 Joe, you were absolutely right. 1532 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:11,193 You've opened my eyes. 1533 01:19:11,372 --> 01:19:13,203 I know what I have to do. 1534 01:19:13,374 --> 01:19:16,161 Charlie, what's wrong? 1535 01:19:16,335 --> 01:19:17,791 Here you are, a first-class, 1536 01:19:17,962 --> 01:19:20,453 a-number-one, triple-distilled lady. 1537 01:19:20,631 --> 01:19:23,213 What better thing in the world could happen to me? 1538 01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:26,547 What better favor could I do for myself? 1539 01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:28,301 Oh, what is it? 1540 01:19:29,890 --> 01:19:31,175 Sylvia... 1541 01:19:32,768 --> 01:19:35,976 Marry me. 1542 01:19:43,696 --> 01:19:46,108 Well, you... 1543 01:19:46,282 --> 01:19:48,523 You wi ill, w, won' t you? 1544 01:19:48,701 --> 01:19:49,941 I will. 1545 01:19:50,119 --> 01:19:52,576 Good. That's settled. 1546 01:19:52,746 --> 01:19:54,156 Why are you crying? 1547 01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:57,326 Don't be alarmed. 1548 01:19:57,501 --> 01:20:00,993 Just standard operational procedure. 1549 01:20:01,171 --> 01:20:03,608 Yes, sir, this is the smartest thing I've ever done in my life 1550 01:20:03,632 --> 01:20:04,963 and you darn well know it. 1551 01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:06,670 Mm-hmm. 1552 01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:09,051 What kind of a happy occasion is this? 1553 01:20:09,221 --> 01:20:10,699 She stands up there weeping bitter tears 1554 01:20:10,723 --> 01:20:12,463 and you stand here grunting at me. 1555 01:20:12,641 --> 01:20:16,600 Uh, where are all the shoes and rice and the Roman candles? 1556 01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:19,136 Charlie, I wanna wish you all the best luck in the world. 1557 01:20:19,315 --> 01:20:21,727 Well, you should. This was your idea. 1558 01:20:27,531 --> 01:20:30,648 Are you alright? No more crying? 1559 01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:32,595 If you think that was crying, wait till you catch me 1560 01:20:32,619 --> 01:20:34,905 at the wedding. 1561 01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:38,493 Yeah, I may be doing a good deal of that myself. 1562 01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:41,204 Well, this is a jolly occasion. 1563 01:20:42,921 --> 01:20:45,503 Yeah, there's much too much gloom here. 1564 01:20:45,674 --> 01:20:47,289 Let's get blind. 1565 01:20:49,428 --> 01:20:52,044 A little large, isn't it? = live a little bit. 1566 01:20:52,222 --> 01:20:54,062 How many times in your life do you get engaged? 1567 01:20:54,183 --> 01:20:57,050 Unh-unh. This isn't my party. I'll pour my own. 1568 01:20:58,937 --> 01:21:01,019 Party. That's what we need. 1569 01:21:01,190 --> 01:21:03,647 We'll have the wingdingiest party anybody ever saw. 1570 01:21:03,817 --> 01:21:05,023 - Party? - Yeah. 1571 01:21:05,194 --> 01:21:07,310 And we'll start by calling the dunstocks. 1572 01:21:09,823 --> 01:21:12,360 Wonderful people, the dunstocks. 1573 01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:14,570 She happens to be a little stuffy, but he, uh... 1574 01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:16,827 Well, I guess he is a little too. 1575 01:21:18,832 --> 01:21:21,198 Hello, Harry. How are you, old pirate? 1576 01:21:21,377 --> 01:21:22,913 This is Charlie reader. 1577 01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,748 Yeah, I know, but I've been busy. 1578 01:21:24,922 --> 01:21:26,402 Listen, grab that little wife of yours 1579 01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:27,567 and slip her into something seductive 1580 01:21:27,591 --> 01:21:29,047 and get right over here. 1581 01:21:29,218 --> 01:21:31,630 Yup. We're gonna have the biggest brawl you ever saw. 1582 01:21:31,804 --> 01:21:33,044 Oh? 1583 01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:35,713 Well, bring him along. We'll feed him. 1584 01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:37,506 I don't care how many. 1585 01:21:37,684 --> 01:21:39,299 Eight? Bring them over. 1586 01:21:39,478 --> 01:21:41,184 Attaboy. Bye. 1587 01:21:41,355 --> 01:21:43,937 Well, we got a start. 1588 01:21:44,108 --> 01:21:45,723 You better get some more Pearl onions. 1589 01:21:45,901 --> 01:21:48,017 Now let me see. Who else do we ask? 1590 01:21:50,531 --> 01:21:51,841 How about Danny Fitzpatrick, honey? 1591 01:21:51,865 --> 01:21:53,730 Is he in or out of the clink? = in. 1592 01:21:53,909 --> 01:21:56,446 Oh, that's a shame. He plays great piano. 1593 01:21:56,620 --> 01:21:59,987 - You haven't got a piano. - That wouldn't stop Danny. 1594 01:22:00,165 --> 01:22:01,559 Charlie: We gotta get some musicians. 1595 01:22:01,583 --> 01:22:04,199 They're more fun than earth people. 1596 01:22:04,378 --> 01:22:07,165 - Sol steiner? - You're a genius. 1597 01:22:07,339 --> 01:22:08,419 And one thing about sol is 1598 01:22:08,590 --> 01:22:09,950 you always know where to reach him. 1599 01:22:10,092 --> 01:22:12,299 And if he's not there, he's just not in town. 1600 01:22:14,096 --> 01:22:15,461 Curley's bar? 1601 01:22:15,639 --> 01:22:17,425 Hey, is sol steiner there? 1602 01:22:17,599 --> 01:22:19,715 Yeah, I'll wait. Sol's taking the cure. 1603 01:22:19,893 --> 01:22:22,350 He's trying to get back on liquor. 1604 01:22:22,521 --> 01:22:24,557 Sol, old man, was machst du? 1605 01:22:24,731 --> 01:22:26,501 Hey, how would you like to come up and have some free drinks? 1606 01:22:26,525 --> 01:22:27,810 My place. 1607 01:22:27,985 --> 01:22:30,271 I'm getting engaged, that's why. 1608 01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:32,732 To Sylvia, who else? 1609 01:22:32,906 --> 01:22:36,069 Listen, can you get in touch with Eddie and Louise? 1610 01:22:36,243 --> 01:22:37,323 I know they're with you, 1611 01:22:37,494 --> 01:22:39,610 but can you get in touch with them? 1612 01:22:41,999 --> 01:22:43,785 Yeah, bring them along. 1613 01:22:43,959 --> 01:22:45,369 What? 1614 01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:47,284 Honey, Fitzpatrick is out. 1615 01:22:47,463 --> 01:22:50,330 There goes the lease. 1616 01:22:50,507 --> 01:22:52,122 Yeah, bring him along too. 1617 01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:54,212 Attaboy. Bye. 1618 01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:55,842 What? "Who is this?" 1619 01:22:56,013 --> 01:22:59,255 It's Charlie reader, you idiot. Hurry up. 1620 01:22:59,433 --> 01:23:01,073 If I know curley's, everybody in the joint 1621 01:23:01,226 --> 01:23:03,842 will make a left turn and follow sol right up here. 1622 01:23:04,021 --> 01:23:05,386 Give me a glass, will you, Joe? 1623 01:23:12,070 --> 01:23:13,480 Hiya, honey. 1624 01:23:13,655 --> 01:23:15,800 I just thought I'd bring you up this little old cheese. 1625 01:23:15,824 --> 01:23:17,985 I called you about it. 1626 01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:21,493 - Oh. - Jessica, this is my fiancee. 1627 01:23:21,663 --> 01:23:23,699 - Miss Collins, miss crewes. - How do you do? 1628 01:23:23,874 --> 01:23:25,830 - Your what? - My fiancee. 1629 01:23:26,001 --> 01:23:28,162 - You mean you're engaged? - Yes. 1630 01:23:28,337 --> 01:23:30,419 - To be married? - Yes. 1631 01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:39,716 - A wedding present. - Thank you. 1632 01:23:39,890 --> 01:23:42,131 Uh, we're gonna have a wingy-dingy-ding-ding brawl 1633 01:23:42,309 --> 01:23:43,786 here tonight and you, of course, are invited. 1634 01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:45,300 Thank you, Charlie, but I got a date 1635 01:23:45,479 --> 01:23:46,844 with some of the girls for dinner. 1636 01:23:47,022 --> 01:23:48,166 Girls? Why don't you bring the girls with you? 1637 01:23:48,190 --> 01:23:49,190 No. 1638 01:23:49,233 --> 01:23:50,251 We're all gonna have laughs 1639 01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:51,481 and all get blind. 1640 01:23:53,070 --> 01:23:56,107 Well, on second thought, yes. 1641 01:23:59,535 --> 01:24:01,821 Tiger. 1642 01:24:01,995 --> 01:24:04,657 - Bye. - Bye. 1643 01:24:04,831 --> 01:24:06,571 Bye. 1644 01:24:08,460 --> 01:24:10,542 Friend of yours, honey? 1645 01:24:10,712 --> 01:24:12,248 No. Listen, we better get some food 1646 01:24:12,422 --> 01:24:14,067 as long as we're gonna have a party. Don't you think? 1647 01:24:14,091 --> 01:24:17,629 With 34 people coming for dinner? What for? 1648 01:24:17,803 --> 01:24:19,763 - I... I'll go get some things. - Yeah, that's it. 1649 01:24:19,805 --> 01:24:21,341 You go on up to the delicatessen 1650 01:24:21,515 --> 01:24:23,409 and Joe and I will stay here and get the bottles open. 1651 01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,473 Get some of the fancy stuff like caviar and sturgeon 1652 01:24:25,602 --> 01:24:27,263 and Turkey and all that jazz. 1653 01:24:27,437 --> 01:24:30,429 And here. Will a dollar be enough? 1654 01:24:30,607 --> 01:24:32,939 I'll be back in about an hour. = I'll count the minutes. 1655 01:24:35,195 --> 01:24:38,312 Tiger. 1656 01:24:43,328 --> 01:24:44,639 Oh, gosh, we'll never have enough stuff 1657 01:24:44,663 --> 01:24:45,778 for all those hoods. 1658 01:24:45,956 --> 01:24:47,036 I better go get some. 1659 01:24:47,207 --> 01:24:49,414 - You wanna go with me, Joe? Joe: No. 1660 01:24:49,585 --> 01:24:51,496 Okay, okay, cupid. I'll go myself. 1661 01:25:32,586 --> 01:25:35,874 - Oh, I love you so. - Oh, I love you too. 1662 01:25:36,048 --> 01:25:38,209 I was just coming up to tell you I love you. 1663 01:25:38,383 --> 01:25:40,669 And I was just coming to tell you so, too, darling. 1664 01:25:40,844 --> 01:25:42,004 Oh, baby, you were so right. 1665 01:25:42,179 --> 01:25:43,794 I need changing. I need reforming. 1666 01:25:43,972 --> 01:25:46,588 No, no, no. I like you just like you are, almost. 1667 01:25:46,767 --> 01:25:48,007 I'm the one who has to change. 1668 01:25:48,185 --> 01:25:50,642 I'm too stubborn, too headstrong, too... 1669 01:25:52,022 --> 01:25:53,387 And why is the meter still running? 1670 01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:56,557 I have arrived at my destination. 1671 01:25:56,735 --> 01:25:58,475 Too willful, too unyielding. 1672 01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:01,815 Oh, Charlie darling, pay the driver 1673 01:26:01,990 --> 01:26:02,990 and let's go upstairs. 1674 01:26:03,158 --> 01:26:04,523 We have so much to talk about. 1675 01:26:04,701 --> 01:26:06,032 Alright, I will. 1676 01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:13,661 No! No, no, no. 1677 01:26:13,835 --> 01:26:15,666 You have an early rehearsal tomorrow morning, 1678 01:26:15,837 --> 01:26:17,815 and I'm emotionally exhausted, and I'm going right up 1679 01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:20,455 to flop right in bed, and, uh, a... aren't you? 1680 01:26:20,634 --> 01:26:23,171 A... and I'll call you the first thing in the morning. 1681 01:26:23,345 --> 01:26:25,631 But, Charlie? = hmm? 1682 01:26:25,806 --> 01:26:27,546 I love you. 1683 01:26:27,724 --> 01:26:30,261 Oh, I love you too. 1684 01:26:30,435 --> 01:26:31,845 - Bye. Sleep tight. - Bye. 1685 01:26:32,020 --> 01:26:33,556 Uh, go. 1686 01:26:37,651 --> 01:26:39,437 - Hey! - Hey, Charlie. 1687 01:26:39,611 --> 01:26:41,442 Oh, boy. 1688 01:26:41,613 --> 01:26:43,353 Charlie, the bridegroom. 1689 01:26:48,745 --> 01:26:50,281 Congratulations, Mr. reader. 1690 01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:52,992 Understand you're engaged to a lovely girl. 1691 01:26:54,918 --> 01:26:56,078 Two lovely girls. 1692 01:29:27,028 --> 01:29:30,111 Whatever gave you the idea that sue dunstock was stuffy? 1693 01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:35,321 I can't think of many girls who would let Danny Fitzpatrick 1694 01:29:35,495 --> 01:29:37,451 give them a crew haircut. 1695 01:29:44,838 --> 01:29:47,204 Who was the girl in the turkish shoes? 1696 01:29:50,343 --> 01:29:52,550 Because I think I'm engaged to her. 1697 01:30:39,142 --> 01:30:40,552 Sol steiner. 1698 01:30:40,727 --> 01:30:43,013 Man, I thought you'd never get here. 1699 01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:44,598 You alright? 1700 01:30:44,773 --> 01:30:46,855 Crazy, daddy-o. 1701 01:30:47,025 --> 01:30:48,765 Will you hold this? 1702 01:30:50,320 --> 01:30:52,606 Crazy party. 1703 01:30:52,781 --> 01:30:54,646 Crazy. 1704 01:30:54,824 --> 01:30:56,280 Where's Sylvia? 1705 01:30:58,203 --> 01:31:00,410 - Home. - What do you mean home? 1706 01:31:01,831 --> 01:31:05,665 H-o-m-e, home. Her place. 1707 01:31:05,835 --> 01:31:08,702 I don't dig. She's engaged to Charlie, ain't she? 1708 01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:12,088 - Yeah. - And she still goes home? 1709 01:31:12,258 --> 01:31:14,089 Without cleaning up? 1710 01:31:16,763 --> 01:31:20,096 Man, he must be crazy to let that chick go home. 1711 01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:22,848 And I don't mean crazy like cool. 1712 01:31:23,019 --> 01:31:24,350 I'm with you. 1713 01:31:24,521 --> 01:31:26,352 She is the most. 1714 01:31:26,523 --> 01:31:29,060 The end. 1715 01:31:29,234 --> 01:31:31,520 What band are you with? 1716 01:31:31,695 --> 01:31:34,812 I'm with the Indiana pharmaceutical company. 1717 01:31:34,990 --> 01:31:38,107 What's the matter, man? Lose your lip? 1718 01:31:38,284 --> 01:31:41,071 You really let that Sylvia go home? 1719 01:31:41,246 --> 01:31:44,363 = oh, hello, sol. Yeah. Well, you shouldn't have. 1720 01:31:44,541 --> 01:31:47,578 This is a real gone doll. 1721 01:31:47,752 --> 01:31:50,334 How did she ever get on that Beethoven kick? 1722 01:31:50,505 --> 01:31:52,105 I don't know. Haven't you got a rehearsal 1723 01:31:52,257 --> 01:31:53,297 or something this morning? 1724 01:31:53,425 --> 01:31:56,542 Oh, yeah. Longines symphonette. 1725 01:31:56,720 --> 01:31:58,881 For that, you gotta be on time. They all got watches. 1726 01:32:03,143 --> 01:32:04,849 - Want one for the road? - Yeah, thanks. 1727 01:32:17,365 --> 01:32:19,697 Joe, I, uh... 1728 01:32:21,870 --> 01:32:23,735 There's something I have to tell you, Joe. 1729 01:32:23,913 --> 01:32:25,633 Yeah, well, I got something to tell you too. 1730 01:32:36,176 --> 01:32:39,134 - Hello, Joe. - Hi. 1731 01:32:39,304 --> 01:32:42,011 - Uh, h... hi, Julie. - What's wrong? 1732 01:32:42,182 --> 01:32:44,410 I have been trying to get you on the phone for three hours. 1733 01:32:44,434 --> 01:32:47,141 Oh, have you? Well, it hasn't rung, has it, Joe? 1734 01:32:47,312 --> 01:32:50,475 Huh? No, no. =I called 20 times. 1735 01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:52,855 Well, there must be something wrong with the phone. 1736 01:32:55,862 --> 01:32:57,773 Danny Fitzpatrick. 1737 01:32:57,947 --> 01:32:59,938 What's been going on here? 1738 01:33:00,116 --> 01:33:02,732 A... aren't you due at rehearsal now, dear? 1739 01:33:02,911 --> 01:33:04,742 What went on here last night? 1740 01:33:04,913 --> 01:33:07,016 Yeah, Charlie, what went on here last night? 1741 01:33:07,040 --> 01:33:08,450 Uh, not a thing. Nothing, not... 1742 01:33:08,625 --> 01:33:10,505 Wouldn't you like a cup of coffee? Wouldn't you? 1743 01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:16,462 - Hello, darling. - Hi, Sylvia. 1744 01:33:16,633 --> 01:33:18,294 Hey. 1745 01:33:18,468 --> 01:33:21,585 Well, how are you? 1746 01:33:21,763 --> 01:33:23,003 Hi, Joe. Joe: Hi. 1747 01:33:23,181 --> 01:33:24,501 What's the matter with your phone? 1748 01:33:24,599 --> 01:33:26,840 I've been trying to call you all morning. 1749 01:33:27,018 --> 01:33:28,508 Danny Fitzpatrick. 1750 01:33:30,438 --> 01:33:32,099 Yeah, I remember. 1751 01:33:32,273 --> 01:33:33,638 Sylvia, you know Julie, don't you? 1752 01:33:33,817 --> 01:33:37,059 Oh, yes. Hello. Honey. 1753 01:33:37,237 --> 01:33:39,444 What brings you here so bright and early this morning? 1754 01:33:39,614 --> 01:33:41,821 Did you, by any chance, find a diamond earring 1755 01:33:41,991 --> 01:33:43,135 around here someplace this morning? 1756 01:33:43,159 --> 01:33:44,319 And please say yes. 1757 01:33:44,494 --> 01:33:45,825 Diamond earring? = yeah. 1758 01:33:45,995 --> 01:33:47,986 - No. - Oh, that's terrible. 1759 01:33:48,164 --> 01:33:49,779 Sue dunstock's going out of her mind. 1760 01:33:49,958 --> 01:33:51,393 She couldn't reach you this morning, so she started 1761 01:33:51,417 --> 01:33:53,783 calling me at 7 o'clock. 1762 01:33:53,962 --> 01:33:56,044 And Harry screaming at her the whole time, 1763 01:33:56,214 --> 01:33:57,566 "it isn't enough you let 1764 01:33:57,590 --> 01:33:59,046 that idiot shave your head? 1765 01:33:59,217 --> 01:34:01,217 You had to let him steal your diamond earring too?" 1766 01:34:19,028 --> 01:34:21,770 Must have been some party last night. 1767 01:34:21,948 --> 01:34:24,280 Oh, the greatest. 1768 01:34:24,450 --> 01:34:27,317 I haven't played run-sheep-run in years. 1769 01:34:27,495 --> 01:34:30,111 What was it, an occasion of some kind? 1770 01:34:30,290 --> 01:34:32,451 Indeed it was. 1771 01:34:32,625 --> 01:34:34,661 Julie: What kind of an occasion? 1772 01:34:34,836 --> 01:34:36,497 Sylvia: A happy occasion. 1773 01:34:36,671 --> 01:34:39,208 Yeah. Hey, we better look for the earring. 1774 01:34:39,382 --> 01:34:42,624 What do you mean, a happy occasion? 1775 01:34:42,802 --> 01:34:45,214 Oh, what is this, miss gillis? A third-degree? 1776 01:34:45,388 --> 01:34:47,674 Julie: I have a right to know. 1777 01:34:47,849 --> 01:34:50,431 Sylvia: What right? - The right of a fiancee. 1778 01:34:50,602 --> 01:34:52,638 Charlie and I became engaged last night. 1779 01:34:52,812 --> 01:34:54,222 - What? - What? 1780 01:35:01,696 --> 01:35:03,812 Charlie: I can't seem to find the earring back here. 1781 01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:10,653 You see, my child, shortly after Charlie proposed to you 1782 01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:12,821 last night, he threw a whacking big party 1783 01:35:12,999 --> 01:35:14,739 to announce his engagement. 1784 01:35:14,918 --> 01:35:17,534 His engagement to Sylvia, that is, not to you. 1785 01:35:20,340 --> 01:35:23,798 Perhaps he's planning on another party for your engagement later. 1786 01:35:27,263 --> 01:35:28,924 Charlie. 1787 01:35:32,060 --> 01:35:34,051 Is that true? 1788 01:35:40,235 --> 01:35:41,520 Yes. 1789 01:35:43,279 --> 01:35:44,564 It's true. 1790 01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:48,899 You were engaged? 1791 01:35:49,077 --> 01:35:50,533 All the time you were kissing me, 1792 01:35:50,703 --> 01:35:52,443 telling me you loved me, 1793 01:35:52,622 --> 01:35:54,658 you were engaged to somebody else? 1794 01:35:54,832 --> 01:35:57,744 Yes. No. I mean, no. I... I was and I wasn't. 1795 01:35:57,919 --> 01:36:00,160 Yes and no. Was and wasn't. 1796 01:36:00,338 --> 01:36:02,420 Of all the contemptible... 1797 01:36:02,590 --> 01:36:04,000 You are the worst... 1798 01:36:04,175 --> 01:36:06,086 I never wanna see you again. 1799 01:36:06,261 --> 01:36:08,502 Oh, you're a terrible, terrible man. 1800 01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:10,261 Julie. 1801 01:36:33,955 --> 01:36:35,536 I found your shoes. 1802 01:36:35,707 --> 01:36:37,368 Oh, where were they? 1803 01:36:37,542 --> 01:36:39,999 In the icebox. 1804 01:36:40,169 --> 01:36:41,500 Oh, yeah. 1805 01:36:50,638 --> 01:36:54,256 This has been, all in all, a memorable day. 1806 01:36:54,434 --> 01:36:56,425 If my luck holds out, I should get hit by a truck 1807 01:36:56,602 --> 01:36:58,138 on the way home. 1808 01:37:00,106 --> 01:37:02,768 I couldn't sleep a wink last night. 1809 01:37:02,942 --> 01:37:04,898 Really? 1810 01:37:05,069 --> 01:37:07,105 Yeah, I kept thinking that... 1811 01:37:07,280 --> 01:37:09,316 Oh, thinking that... 1812 01:37:09,490 --> 01:37:11,651 I was struggling with myself. 1813 01:37:11,826 --> 01:37:13,908 Who won? 1814 01:37:14,078 --> 01:37:16,694 Well, three things kept me up. 1815 01:37:16,873 --> 01:37:20,457 First, I... I couldn't let you marry Charlie. 1816 01:37:20,626 --> 01:37:22,457 Well, that's taken care of. 1817 01:37:22,628 --> 01:37:24,243 Two? 1818 01:37:24,422 --> 01:37:25,774 You remember yesterday when I told you 1819 01:37:25,798 --> 01:37:27,004 you shouldn't marry Charlie, 1820 01:37:27,175 --> 01:37:28,836 you asked me if I had any other ideas? 1821 01:37:29,010 --> 01:37:31,171 - Yeah. - Well, I have. 1822 01:37:32,805 --> 01:37:34,966 I love you, Sylvia. 1823 01:37:35,141 --> 01:37:37,382 I think I've loved you from the first moment I saw you. 1824 01:37:37,560 --> 01:37:39,551 I want you to marry me. 1825 01:37:44,442 --> 01:37:47,149 What was the third thing that kept you up? 1826 01:37:47,320 --> 01:37:50,357 Oh, how to tell Ethel. 1827 01:37:50,531 --> 01:37:53,898 I've gotta write her a long letter. 1828 01:37:54,077 --> 01:37:57,035 Wouldn't it be more manly to tell her face to face? 1829 01:37:57,205 --> 01:37:59,366 That would be too manly. 1830 01:37:59,540 --> 01:38:01,371 Well, there's always the telephone. 1831 01:38:01,542 --> 01:38:02,873 Right now? 1832 01:38:03,044 --> 01:38:04,500 What better time? Sunday. 1833 01:38:04,670 --> 01:38:07,377 Night rates apply all day. 1834 01:38:07,548 --> 01:38:09,334 Are you laughing at me? 1835 01:38:09,509 --> 01:38:11,795 No, not at all. 1836 01:38:14,097 --> 01:38:16,463 Alright. 1837 01:38:16,641 --> 01:38:18,723 Alright, I'll call her right now. 1838 01:38:23,272 --> 01:38:25,513 Oh. 1839 01:38:25,691 --> 01:38:28,182 We forgot. 1840 01:38:28,361 --> 01:38:31,273 Danny Fitzpatrick cut it. 1841 01:38:31,447 --> 01:38:33,779 Well, what about the drugstore on the corner? 1842 01:38:33,950 --> 01:38:35,486 Nothing but phones. 1843 01:38:35,660 --> 01:38:36,929 And if you haven't got enough quarters, 1844 01:38:36,953 --> 01:38:39,365 you can always reverse the charges. 1845 01:38:39,539 --> 01:38:43,123 - Well, yeah, but, uh... - What's the matter, Joe? 1846 01:38:43,292 --> 01:38:44,572 You wanna marry me but not enough 1847 01:38:44,669 --> 01:38:47,376 to take that walk to the drugstore? 1848 01:38:47,547 --> 01:38:49,833 Oh, it isn't that, but a thing like this, 1849 01:38:50,007 --> 01:38:51,918 right out of the blue... 1850 01:38:52,093 --> 01:38:53,833 I don't want to shock Ethel. 1851 01:38:55,596 --> 01:38:59,339 You see, Ethel thinks I love her. 1852 01:38:59,517 --> 01:39:00,973 But you do. 1853 01:39:04,772 --> 01:39:06,763 Joe. 1854 01:39:06,941 --> 01:39:08,647 Darling... 1855 01:39:08,818 --> 01:39:11,776 Shall I tell you something? 1856 01:39:11,946 --> 01:39:15,939 You think you love me because I'm so much like Ethel. 1857 01:39:16,117 --> 01:39:18,950 You, like Ethel? 1858 01:39:19,120 --> 01:39:22,362 I want wall-to-wall carpeting and French provincial furniture 1859 01:39:22,540 --> 01:39:26,658 and a house full of kids, all with good straight teeth. 1860 01:39:26,836 --> 01:39:29,452 What did you think? 1861 01:39:29,630 --> 01:39:31,712 Moonbeams? Candlelight suppers? 1862 01:39:31,883 --> 01:39:34,420 Cloud number seven? 1863 01:39:34,594 --> 01:39:36,175 Joe, you know what you've got? 1864 01:39:36,345 --> 01:39:38,927 You've got the married man's dream. 1865 01:39:39,098 --> 01:39:40,679 You want a girl. 1866 01:39:40,850 --> 01:39:43,887 That's what you all want, a girl. 1867 01:39:44,061 --> 01:39:46,848 And that's what you can never have because... 1868 01:39:47,023 --> 01:39:50,015 The only way to have a girl is not to marry her, 1869 01:39:50,193 --> 01:39:52,900 because then she becomes a wife. 1870 01:39:54,322 --> 01:39:57,610 That's something entirely different. 1871 01:39:57,783 --> 01:39:59,990 No, Sylvia, you... you'd be different. 1872 01:40:03,956 --> 01:40:08,040 Joe, ask me one more question. 1873 01:40:08,211 --> 01:40:10,247 Ask me if I love you. 1874 01:40:14,050 --> 01:40:15,915 I like you, Joe. 1875 01:40:16,093 --> 01:40:18,004 I like you very much... 1876 01:40:19,639 --> 01:40:21,721 But I don't love you. 1877 01:40:24,810 --> 01:40:27,096 On behalf of the visiting fireman from Indiana, 1878 01:40:27,271 --> 01:40:29,227 I thank you. 1879 01:40:43,788 --> 01:40:46,245 She slammed the taxi door on my hand. 1880 01:40:48,918 --> 01:40:51,455 Well, I guess it's your turn now, Sylvia. 1881 01:40:54,298 --> 01:40:56,380 Well... 1882 01:40:56,551 --> 01:41:00,419 Charlie, there are some girls who might say 1883 01:41:00,596 --> 01:41:04,430 that ours was not the most romantic engagement on record. 1884 01:41:06,102 --> 01:41:09,594 There are some girls who might even say that... 1885 01:41:09,772 --> 01:41:13,515 Our entire courtship left something to be desired. 1886 01:41:13,693 --> 01:41:15,524 As a matter of fact, I'm one of those girls. 1887 01:41:18,155 --> 01:41:20,612 What can I say, Sylvia? 1888 01:41:20,783 --> 01:41:22,523 To say I'm sorry would just merely be adding 1889 01:41:22,702 --> 01:41:24,408 insult to injury. 1890 01:41:26,122 --> 01:41:29,455 So what can I say? That I'm the heel of all time? 1891 01:41:29,625 --> 01:41:32,082 Well, it might make you happy to know that right now 1892 01:41:32,253 --> 01:41:35,040 I'm the unhappiest heel of all time. 1893 01:41:35,214 --> 01:41:36,750 I know you are, Charlie. 1894 01:41:36,924 --> 01:41:39,131 And I'm sorry, not happy. 1895 01:41:41,887 --> 01:41:44,424 Sylvia, you're probably the most wonderful woman on this earth 1896 01:41:44,599 --> 01:41:46,635 or any other earth. 1897 01:41:46,809 --> 01:41:49,551 I agree. 1898 01:41:49,729 --> 01:41:51,957 It's just my tough luck that I didn't fall in love with you 1899 01:41:51,981 --> 01:41:54,973 and marry you and let you make me happy. 1900 01:41:56,485 --> 01:41:59,227 I had to fall in love with Julie. 1901 01:41:59,405 --> 01:42:02,272 I love her. She's nuts, but I love her. 1902 01:42:04,243 --> 01:42:07,235 Then don't you settle for anyone but Julie. 1903 01:42:07,413 --> 01:42:09,745 Don't you be satisfied with second best. 1904 01:42:13,002 --> 01:42:14,333 I know one thing. 1905 01:42:14,503 --> 01:42:17,711 There will be no second best for me anymore. 1906 01:42:17,882 --> 01:42:19,998 I'm gonna find me an honest-to-goodness guy 1907 01:42:20,176 --> 01:42:23,509 who's looking for an honest-to-goodness girl. 1908 01:42:23,679 --> 01:42:26,091 Somewhere in this great city, there must be one. 1909 01:42:29,352 --> 01:42:30,842 Oh. 1910 01:42:31,020 --> 01:42:33,932 Thank you for a lovely engagement. 1911 01:42:37,818 --> 01:42:40,275 Oh, I'm sorry to bust in, but I think this belongs to you. 1912 01:42:40,446 --> 01:42:42,937 Someone threw it up to my terrace last night. 1913 01:42:43,115 --> 01:42:45,469 Look, whoever you are, I... I've got enough trouble as it is. 1914 01:42:45,493 --> 01:42:47,387 No, look, I'm not angry, I'd just like to suggest 1915 01:42:47,411 --> 01:42:49,618 that the next time you throw a party, you invite me. 1916 01:42:49,789 --> 01:42:51,450 I love brawls. 1917 01:42:53,876 --> 01:42:55,116 Hello. 1918 01:42:57,672 --> 01:43:00,084 Well, you boys won't have to go out to dinner tonight. 1919 01:43:00,257 --> 01:43:02,248 Bye, Charlie. 1920 01:43:02,426 --> 01:43:04,132 So long, fireman. 1921 01:43:06,222 --> 01:43:07,587 So long, Sylvia. 1922 01:43:09,475 --> 01:43:11,431 Thanks. 1923 01:43:11,602 --> 01:43:14,264 Where the blazes were you 12 years ago? 1924 01:43:23,447 --> 01:43:25,312 Excuse me. = oh. 1925 01:43:28,411 --> 01:43:32,120 I, uh, I guess you can't expect too much service on Sunday. 1926 01:43:32,289 --> 01:43:33,495 Oh. 1927 01:43:35,751 --> 01:43:37,912 Don't you play on nbc? 1928 01:43:38,087 --> 01:43:39,372 Oh, yes. 1929 01:43:39,547 --> 01:43:42,209 That's where I remember you from. 1930 01:43:42,383 --> 01:43:45,420 - Oh? - I never miss a telecast. 1931 01:43:45,594 --> 01:43:47,354 You mean you recognize me from the telecasts? 1932 01:43:47,430 --> 01:43:49,671 Uh-huh. Violin section. 1933 01:43:49,849 --> 01:43:51,885 But they only cut to us maybe three or four times 1934 01:43:52,059 --> 01:43:53,390 during a program. 1935 01:43:53,561 --> 01:43:56,177 You forget you're the only woman in the section. 1936 01:43:56,355 --> 01:43:58,516 Oh. 1937 01:43:58,691 --> 01:44:02,149 And a most decorative one, too, if I may say so. 1938 01:44:02,319 --> 01:44:05,106 Thank you. I see no reason why you shouldn't. 1939 01:44:07,283 --> 01:44:09,261 Tell me, the next concert's on Wednesday, isn't it? 1940 01:44:09,285 --> 01:44:10,491 Yes. 1941 01:44:10,661 --> 01:44:12,993 I think this time I'm gonna buy a ticket. 1942 01:44:15,666 --> 01:44:19,329 Uh, do you know the question about bearded people? 1943 01:44:19,503 --> 01:44:23,542 I mean, do they sleep with it under or over the covers? 1944 01:44:23,716 --> 01:44:25,923 Well, I've often wondered about musicians. 1945 01:44:26,093 --> 01:44:27,754 Oh. 1946 01:44:27,928 --> 01:44:32,467 Uh, do they eat before or after a concert? 1947 01:44:32,641 --> 01:44:35,132 Because I was wondering if after the concert on Wednesday... 1948 01:44:42,193 --> 01:44:45,481 - Where are you going? - Home. 1949 01:44:45,654 --> 01:44:48,191 Indianapolis. Gateway to the west. 1950 01:44:50,034 --> 01:44:53,322 - Leave me here alone? - Alone? 1951 01:44:53,496 --> 01:44:55,111 In the morning, your phone will be fixed. 1952 01:44:55,289 --> 01:44:57,154 By sunset, you'll be knee-deep 1953 01:44:57,333 --> 01:45:01,121 in whitefish and rare Wisconsin cheeses. 1954 01:45:03,047 --> 01:45:05,629 I don't want whitefish 1955 01:45:05,800 --> 01:45:08,792 and I don't want rare Wisconsin cheese. 1956 01:45:08,969 --> 01:45:11,881 Nor do I want Poppy or Jessica or miss snr. 1957 01:45:14,016 --> 01:45:15,847 I just want Julie. 1958 01:45:17,812 --> 01:45:19,331 Do you know my idea of heaven now, Joe? 1959 01:45:19,355 --> 01:45:20,936 What? 1960 01:45:21,106 --> 01:45:22,642 To be so much in love with a girl 1961 01:45:22,817 --> 01:45:24,753 and have her love you so much that you wouldn't think 1962 01:45:24,777 --> 01:45:27,894 of taking a vacation from each other for 11 years. 1963 01:45:28,072 --> 01:45:29,733 Eleven years. 1964 01:45:33,786 --> 01:45:36,493 I got a dog in there who's got the straightest teeth. 1965 01:45:36,664 --> 01:45:38,620 Doesn't need any wiring. 1966 01:45:38,791 --> 01:45:41,498 They don't even need brushing. 1967 01:45:41,669 --> 01:45:44,206 Would you swap that for your kids, Joe? 1968 01:45:44,380 --> 01:45:47,713 No, not unless you threw in fort Knox or something. 1969 01:45:47,883 --> 01:45:50,340 Well, you know what I mean. 1970 01:45:50,511 --> 01:45:52,092 I'm sorry, Charlie. 1971 01:45:52,263 --> 01:45:55,630 Well, I better rush if I'm gonna catch the 3 o'clock. 1972 01:45:57,268 --> 01:45:59,600 Couldn't you at least stay and have dinner with me? 1973 01:45:59,770 --> 01:46:01,431 I'd like to, but, uh, 1974 01:46:01,605 --> 01:46:03,124 that wouldn't get me in till 1 o'clock. 1975 01:46:03,148 --> 01:46:04,751 I don't want Ethel driving out to the airport 1976 01:46:04,775 --> 01:46:06,390 at that hour. 1977 01:46:06,569 --> 01:46:09,060 Well, she wouldn't have to. You could take a cab. 1978 01:46:09,238 --> 01:46:12,321 Yeah, but she likes picking me up. 1979 01:46:12,491 --> 01:46:15,733 Come to think of it, I like being picked up. 1980 01:46:15,911 --> 01:46:18,243 Yeah, I guess you better make the 3 o'clock. 1981 01:46:25,546 --> 01:46:27,878 So long, sport. Thanks for everything. 1982 01:46:29,466 --> 01:46:31,297 Goodbye, Joe. 1983 01:46:31,468 --> 01:46:32,958 Give my love to the family. 1984 01:46:33,137 --> 01:46:35,253 Okay. You write now. You hear? 1985 01:46:39,768 --> 01:46:42,805 How long you figure it will be till I see you again, Joe? 1986 01:46:42,980 --> 01:46:45,847 Oh, about 11 years. 1987 01:46:48,235 --> 01:46:50,021 So long, pal. 1988 01:46:57,953 --> 01:47:00,035 Forgot Ethel and the kids. 1989 01:47:22,728 --> 01:47:25,344 Pierre hotel. Quick as you can. 1990 01:47:25,522 --> 01:47:27,683 - I'm late for a wedding. - Okay. 1991 01:47:33,697 --> 01:47:35,858 Drop this luggage at 600 east 57th street, will you? 1992 01:47:36,033 --> 01:47:37,148 Alright. 1993 01:47:37,326 --> 01:47:39,863 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1994 01:47:48,837 --> 01:47:50,168 Oh. 1995 01:49:04,538 --> 01:49:09,032 Julie... will you marry me? 1996 01:49:09,209 --> 01:49:11,200 Why? 1997 01:49:11,378 --> 01:49:14,165 Well, because I love you. 1998 01:49:16,300 --> 01:49:19,417 - Oh? - Yes, I love you. 1999 01:49:19,595 --> 01:49:21,210 And... 2000 01:49:21,388 --> 01:49:24,050 Well, tomorrow morning you could pick me up at the apartment... 2001 01:49:24,224 --> 01:49:27,182 - I could what? - Go down to the license bureau. 2002 01:49:27,352 --> 01:49:29,559 Uh, that is, I mean, 2003 01:49:29,730 --> 01:49:32,312 I'll pick you up and we could go to the license bureau 2004 01:49:32,483 --> 01:49:35,065 and be married and then have a baby and... 2005 01:49:35,235 --> 01:49:38,147 And have another baby in the country and... 2006 01:49:38,322 --> 01:49:40,028 Oh, Julie. 2007 01:49:43,994 --> 01:49:47,862 J you see a pair of laughing eyes j 2008 01:49:48,082 --> 01:49:52,041 j and suddenly your sighing sighs j 2009 01:49:52,252 --> 01:49:54,117 j you're thinking nothing's wrong j 2010 01:49:54,296 --> 01:49:57,003 j you string along, boy, then snap! J 2011 01:50:00,677 --> 01:50:04,761 j you wonder how it all came about j 2012 01:50:04,932 --> 01:50:08,925 j it's too late now there's no getting out 2013 01:50:09,103 --> 01:50:11,435 j you fell in love j 2014 01:50:11,605 --> 01:50:13,641 j and love is j 2015 01:50:13,816 --> 01:50:20,733 j the tender trap j