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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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* [ ]

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[ROARS]

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[SHIP HORN BLOWING]

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NARRATOR:
Ladies and Gentlemen,

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for reasons that
you will soon understand,

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the makers
of this motion picture

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ask you not to divulge
what you are now about to see

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to any living person.

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Thank you.

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We take you now
to the independent

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Duchy of Grand Fenwick,

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the smallest country
on the face of the globe.

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This tiny but prosperous nation,

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which occupies a total area
of 15 and 3/4 square miles

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00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,656
lies high in the French Alps,

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somewhere around...

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I beg your pardon...

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Somewhere along...

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Oh, yes, here.

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Grand Fenwick was founded
in the year 1430

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by Sir Roger Fenwick,

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a poor but honest
British baronet,

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who, as he later said,

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took a fancy to the neighborhood

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and moved in.

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Thus, thanks to Sir Roger,

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Fenwick is the only
English-speaking country

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00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,518
in Europe.

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Modern Fenwick is ruled
by Duchess Gloriana XII,

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who is a direct descendant
of Sir Roger,

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and is beloved
by all her subjects.

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Although still in mourning
for her departed consort,

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00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,169
Count Leopold
of Bosnia-Herzegovina,

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who disappeared during
a tiger hunt 27 years ago,

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00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,375
the duchess takes
an active interest

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in her country's welfare.

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Fenwick's parliament...

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Here is the hereditary
Prime Minister,

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00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,784
Count Rupert of Mountjoy,

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a graduate of both Oxford
and Cambridge.

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Fenwick's Forest...

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Here, in these sheltered glades,

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the welfare of its feathered
and furry folk

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is watched over by Fenwick's
hereditary Forest Ranger,

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Tully Bascombe.

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Fenwick's Army...

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Although Fenwick has been
at peace for 500 years,

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the longbow remains
the national weapon.

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Here, the army exercises

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under the guidance
of Tully Bascombe,

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who is also the hereditary
Field Marshall

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and Grand Constable
of the armed forces.

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Aim!

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Fire!

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If many Fenwickians
seem to resemble each other,

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this may, perhaps, be ascribed

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to the influence of the founder,

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who was in every possible way
the Father of his country.

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Fenwick's prosperity
is based on its only export,

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Pinot Grand Fenwick,

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the small but sturdy local wine

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with a virile
but friendly bouquet.

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For some obscure reason,

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the United States has always
been the major market

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for this wine.

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Thus, secure in its prosperity

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and invigorated
by its high Alpine climate,

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Fenwick has always been
a happy country.

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[CHEERING]

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[CAR HONKING]

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However, in 1959,

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a California wine grower
bottled an imitation

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of Pinot Grand Fenwick

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and called it
Pinot Grand Enwick.

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Backed by a vast
advertising campaign

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and sold at a lower price...

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this imitation soon
drove Pinot Grand Fenwick

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out of the American market.

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As a result,
in a very short time...

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the Duchy of Grand Fenwick

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was in a state
of absolute crisis.

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One fateful day...

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Gentlemen. Gentlemen.

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Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
Pray, silence!

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Gentlemen,
you made me drop a stitch.

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Your pardon, your Grace,

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but has the Prime Minister
never thought

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of sending a protest
to the Untied States

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about this Californian fellow
and his imitation wine?

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My dear chap, I have sent
not one protest, but three.

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Mind you, the situation
is complicated by the fact

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that we have never officially
recognized the United States.

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So we've to send all our
protests through Monte Carlo.

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The sad truth is

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that each of these protests
have been ignored,

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until today
when I received this.

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What is it, Bobo?

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It's a pamphlet from their
Department of Agriculture

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on how to grow grapes for wine.

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But if that goes on,
we'll be bankrupt.

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00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,329
My friend, we are bankrupt.

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00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,197
As of today,
we are living on Petty Cash.

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00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:09,369
Good heavens, if only
poor Leopold were alive today.

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Your Grace, Gentlemen,

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our situation
is indeed desperate.

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We stand poised
on the brink of disaster.

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There is only one way out...

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War!

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We must declare war

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on the United States.

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But we could never win
such a war.

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Of course not,

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but we could win the peace.

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I've given this a lot
of thought, gentlemen,

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and I'm perfectly positive
I'm right.

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You must remember...

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the Americans are a very
strange people.

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Whereas other countries
rarely forgive anything,

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the Americans
forgive everything.

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There isn't a more profitable
undertaking for any country

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than to declare war
on the United States

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and to be defeated.

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True, true.

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No sooner is
the aggressor defeated

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than the Americans pour
in food, machinery, clothing,

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technical aid
and lots and lots of money

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00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,534
for the relief
of it's former enemies.

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In other words,
gentlemen, in effect,

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we declare war on Monday,

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we are defeated on Tuesday
and by Friday,

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we will be rehabilitated
beyond our wildest dreams.

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Yes, but is that honest, Bobo?

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No, not really, but it's...

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terribly practical
and infallible, too.

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I give you my word your Grace.

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It will solve all our problems.

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But we have no Army.

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Oh, pish, posh,
who needs an army.

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20 men or so
would be quite sufficient.

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And who's going to lead them?

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Tully Bascombe of course.

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He's our hereditary
Field Marshall

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and Grand Constable.

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Tully?

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No, not Tully.

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He's...
Well, he's a very nice boy,

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but he's never been
any good at games.

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Exactly.

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You can't send Tully
on a mission like this.

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He's got fallen arches,
flat feet, sinus, migraine,

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claustrophobia
and high blood pressure...

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apart from being near-sighted

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and getting dizzy
in high places.

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We're not asking him
to climb the Alps, you know.

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All Tully has to do is to
get the men over there.

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Once they try to land
in New York without visas,

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they will be arrested,

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and that's all there is to it,
really.

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I don't want anyone hurt.

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Of course not your Grace.

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I'll tell Tully
to be very careful.

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00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,599
Besides, we can send
Will Buckley with him.

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Buckley was a sergeant
in the British Army

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in the other war.

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He can act as interpreter.

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Well, Gentlemen,
there's only one way.

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We have but one choice...

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Bankruptcy or Prosperity.

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Which will it be?

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I move we declare war on
the United States of America.

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As leader of the
Party of the Common Man,

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I say that war is reprehensible,

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barbaric, unforgivable,
and unthinkable!

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And I second the motion.

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Well, we're at war with America.

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Well done, sir,
an historic moment.

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And a profitable one,
too, I hope.

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Will, take this down
to the post office

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00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,683
and get it into the post
immediately will you?

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Certainly, sir.

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00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,987
Oh, and Will,

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you'd better put a special
delivery stamp on it.

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00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,257
At once, sir.

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00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,961
My friend, the die is cast.

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00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,295
But our cause is just...

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There is a time and tide...

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To be or not to be...

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That is the question.

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Nothing ventured,
nothing gained.

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Our country, right or wrong.

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Right.

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We'll drink to that.

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To our glorious defeat.

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Oh, Tully...
Yes?

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What do you want?

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Well, sir, it's about this war.

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I--I'd sooner not go,

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if you know what I mean?

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I don't know
what you mean, Tully,

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and I'm surprised at you.

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You know how badly
we need the money.

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Yes, I know, sir,

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00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,932
but I don't like to leave
the forest just now.

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00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,167
It's the mating season.

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00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:03,971
Tully, this thing is bigger
than the mating season.

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00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,505
This is your country calling!

209
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:07,074
Yes...yes.

210
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,718
Now, run along, Tully
and get your army together.

211
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:09,777
All right, sir.

212
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,144
And don't do anything

213
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,880
to make the Americans
angry with you!

214
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,414
I'll be careful, sir.

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00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:15,725
Oh, come, come, Tully,
look here,

216
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,684
you'll enjoy every moment of it.

217
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,251
It's great sport.

218
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,954
Besides, the ocean voyage
will do wonders for you.

219
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,622
I get seasick, sir.

220
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,258
My dear fellow,
with their new stabilizers

221
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,794
and all that
sort of rigmarole...

222
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,129
the modern ocean liner
is as steady as a rowboat.

223
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,630
I get seasick in rowboats.

224
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:32,132
Tully, please...

225
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,345
Well, there you are.
Pretty good turn out.

226
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:48,481
Yes, I shouldn't think
they'll want to go, Will,

227
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,650
not with the harvest
coming up...

228
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:54,321
I expect I
shall have to appeal
to their sense of patriotism.

229
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,724
Men of Fenwick...

230
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,525
Do you love your country?

231
00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,693
Yes!

232
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,561
When you hear the name
of Grand Fenwick,

233
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,263
do your hearts swell with pride?

234
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,564
Yes!

235
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,609
And if your country calls,
will you rush to enlist?

236
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:07,667
No!

237
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,003
Oh...

238
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,439
I don't think I'm very
good at this, Will.

239
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,606
Better leave it to me.

240
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,108
Yes...

241
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,878
Now, men, I want 20 volunteers.

242
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,747
[LAUGHTER]

243
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,916
All of you, form up in ranks!

244
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,685
On the double!

245
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,820
And stand still!

246
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,088
Well, men.

247
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,790
Here is the situation...

248
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:32,325
We're at war.

249
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,028
We're going to invade
the United
States of America...

250
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,496
Good luck, mate.

251
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:39,199
Now, if you'll let me explain
how this situation...

252
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,934
I told you with
the harvest coming up,

253
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,402
they wouldn't want to go.

254
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,772
I'll give them harvest.

255
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,073
[SHOUTING]

256
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,441
* [ ]

257
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:25,112
[CHEERING]

258
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,351
Men of Grand Fenwick,
have no fear...

259
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:36,456
Providence will
smile upon you,
because your cause is just.

260
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:41,361
I know that you
will all uphold
the honor of your country,

261
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:44,031
and let it cheer your hearts
to know

262
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,699
that your Government
has managed the money

263
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,802
for your return fare home...

264
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,003
if necessary.

265
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,705
[CHEERING]

266
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,475
Bless you all!

267
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,682
Right, men, up bags.

268
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:05,819
Company, to the right face!

269
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,856
By the right, quick march!

270
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,904
I do hope the Americans
are kind to them.

271
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,773
They're a fine,
fine body of men.

272
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,943
And the best investment
this country ever made.

273
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:21,788
A Declaration of War!

274
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,656
To the President, Congress,

275
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,692
and People of
The United States of America,

276
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,294
Greetings.

277
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,062
act of aggression...

278
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,099
Declare a state of war exists

279
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:36,536
between Grand Fenwick and
the United States of--

280
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,805
Oh, those boys
in the Press Room,

281
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,940
always making with the jokes.

282
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:53,786
Eight, nine, ten, out!

283
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,489
Company...

284
00:15:58,625 --> 00:15:59,926
Left, right, left.

285
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,694
Left, right, left, right,
left, right.

286
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,163
Pick 'em up. Pick 'em up.

287
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:06,099
Keep going, you landlubbers!

288
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:10,170
Left, right, left, right,
left, right, left.

289
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:13,206
Left, right, left, right...

290
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,520
I think I'll go
up on deck, Will.

291
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:28,655
You are up on deck.

292
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,158
Oh...

293
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,593
Why don't you go below
if you feel seasick, Will.

294
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,863
I'll be all right.

295
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,532
Will, Will...

296
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:43,336
Uh, tell the men...

297
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,305
I think I'd like to be alone.

298
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,343
[THUNDER BOOMING]

299
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,322
Listen to this, sir.

300
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,956
The President
of the United States

301
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,725
announced a practice
air raid alert

302
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:41,828
which will affect the entire
East Coast of the Country.

303
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,996
Ships will be forbidden
entry into any port

304
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,265
until the alert is over.

305
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,066
When does it start?

306
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,668
In less than an hour, sir.

307
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,337
New York completely deserted--

308
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,904
that should be quite a sight.

309
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,016
It's because of this new bomb
they're working on, I suppose?

310
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,208
That's it, sir.

311
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,576
The Q-bomb they call it.

312
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,454
They say it'll make the H-bomb
look like a firecracker.

313
00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,646
Hmph.

314
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,182
It'll never replace
the British Navy, Tomkins.

315
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,283
Oh no, sir.

316
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,022
Look sir, look sir!

317
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,891
The Queen Elizabeth!

318
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:15,027
[SHIP'S HORN BLOWING]

319
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,740
Turn about!

320
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,309
The port of New York's closed!

321
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,578
What are you doing down there?

322
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,546
Turn about!

323
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,382
The Port of New York's closed.

324
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,516
Do you hear me?

325
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:37,984
The Port's closed!

326
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,286
What's the matter with them?

327
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,621
Stay away from--

328
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,424
Hey, stop that!

329
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,728
What are you playing at?
This is dangerous.

330
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,567
Stop!

331
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,068
But we're at war, Sergeant.

332
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,637
Not with everybody.

333
00:18:57,704 --> 00:19:00,407
[SHIP'S HORN HONKING]

334
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:30,303
That's funny,
I can't see anybody.

335
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,310
Looks deserted.

336
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,417
Yes, that's what I mean...

337
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:39,955
There doesn't seem
to be anyone around

338
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,047
we can surrender to.

339
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,952
There's nothing moving, Will.

340
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,955
No boats or anything.

341
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,022
Is it a Sunday?

342
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,624
No, it's Monday.

343
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,868
We'd better check
with the Skipper.

344
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,361
Yeah, yeah.

345
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,598
There it is.
The land of the enemy.

346
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,300
It's big.

347
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,777
The bigger they are,
the harder they fall.

348
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,135
Are you crazy?

349
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,372
Don't you know, we're
supposed to lose the war?

350
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:06,673
Well, no one told me.

351
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:10,310
There's 175 million people
in the United States.

352
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,177
Yeah, but there's only
10 million in New York.

353
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,480
We'll outsmart them, that's all.

354
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,721
C'est impossible.

355
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,122
Where is the health department,

356
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,358
Customs, Immigration?

357
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,527
We were just wondering
the same thing.

358
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,995
Ah, but it is very peculiar.

359
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,730
Hey, see that big building?

360
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,165
Well?

361
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,501
I saw it first.
It's mine.

362
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,341
At the double!
At the double!

363
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,242
Now, then, men,

364
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:45,312
please make sure
you've got your passports

365
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,646
and Health Certificates handy.

366
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:47,847
Sir?

367
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,316
Well, what is it?

368
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,983
The invasion map, sir.

369
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,506
It's getting me down.

370
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,708
Why doesn't somebody
come and capture us?

371
00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:23,209
Where is everybody?

372
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:25,545
Maybe it's a holiday.

373
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:35,722
Why don't they come
out and fight?

374
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,023
Fight?

375
00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:39,125
I know they've declared
New York an open city.

376
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,031
I think we should go back
to the ship and wait.

377
00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:42,629
Wait?
Wait for what?

378
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,263
Just wait.

379
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:45,665
Oh, come on.

380
00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:49,936
[SILLY SQUEAKING]

381
00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:13,292
[LOUDER SQUEAKING]

382
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:14,594
It's you.

383
00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:18,230
Your mail's got
rusty in the rain.

384
00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:28,741
Germ warfare.

385
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:31,578
Since when have there been
sticky germs?

386
00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:32,745
Chewing gum.

387
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:34,447
Germ warfare...

388
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:36,415
Why don't we storm a building
just for a start?

389
00:23:36,483 --> 00:23:37,517
No, let's keep going.

390
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:38,885
We're sure to find somebody.

391
00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,920
Come on.

392
00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:43,022
[MUSIC PLAYING]

393
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:00,840
Hey! Look, sir.

394
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:03,476
That's where they all are--

395
00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:04,577
underground.

396
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:05,678
Cowards.

397
00:24:05,745 --> 00:24:06,946
Hey, you down there,

398
00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:07,947
why don't you come up and fight?

399
00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:09,081
Don't!

400
00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:10,282
You'll make them angry.

401
00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:11,684
Field Marshal, look at this.

402
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:16,723
It's an air raid drill.

403
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,057
Everybody's underground.

404
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:19,502
Maybe we should go
underground, too.

405
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:21,393
We can surrender
when it's all over.

406
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:22,895
"Air raid drill today.

407
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,439
"President today announced
development of plans

408
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:25,698
"for a new bomb

409
00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:28,167
"infinitely more powerful
than the H-bomb

410
00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:29,702
"and capable of
devastating an area

411
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:31,437
of two million square miles."

412
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:32,905
[WHISTLES]

413
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:35,642
"Designed by the noted
scientist, Dr. Alfred Kokintz

414
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,443
"of New York Institute
of Advanced Physics,

415
00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:40,179
"a prototype of the new bomb
is expected to be a reality

416
00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:42,281
in a matter of weeks."

417
00:24:42,348 --> 00:24:43,349
Give me the map.

418
00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:44,617
Maybe you were right.

419
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,085
Maybe we should wait
at the ship.

420
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:47,630
No, no, we must get
off the streets now.

421
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:48,814
After all, we are guests here.

422
00:24:48,855 --> 00:24:51,190
We don't want to spoil
their air raid drill.

423
00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:52,592
Ah, yes, there's the Arsenal.

424
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,794
That's on 64th Street
and 5th Avenue...

425
00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:56,629
We can cut through this,
uh, Central Park.

426
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:57,730
Over there.

427
00:24:57,797 --> 00:24:59,065
All right men,

428
00:24:59,131 --> 00:25:01,000
all in favor of going
over there right away

429
00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:02,234
and surrendering say "Aye".

430
00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:03,603
[ALL TOGETHER]:
Aye!

431
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:04,537
You're a fine
disciplined body of men.

432
00:25:04,604 --> 00:25:06,405
Let's go.

433
00:25:06,472 --> 00:25:08,541
Come on, what are you doing
up here anyway?

434
00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:09,685
But all I wanted
was some cigarettes.

435
00:25:09,709 --> 00:25:10,810
Well, borrow one.

436
00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:12,378
Okay, give me one.

437
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:13,713
Here.
Thanks.

438
00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:15,682
All right, now,
come on, get going,

439
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:17,159
and don't let me
catch you up here again--

440
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,350
All right.

441
00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:19,897
Good thing this isn't
a real air raid.

442
00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:21,353
Some people just
want to get killed.

443
00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:22,922
They just want to get killed.

444
00:25:22,989 --> 00:25:24,356
[SIRENS]

445
00:25:24,423 --> 00:25:25,491
Look at that.

446
00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:27,827
Decontamination Squad.

447
00:25:27,894 --> 00:25:29,629
Boy, that's the job I wanted.

448
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:30,963
No walking.

449
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,231
Yeah.

450
00:25:39,772 --> 00:25:41,207
Hairpin, please.

451
00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:42,609
I don't have any, Papa.

452
00:25:42,675 --> 00:25:45,211
Well, a--
a bobby pin, then.

453
00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:56,455
So...

454
00:25:56,522 --> 00:25:58,390
[EMITTING BUZZING NOISES]

455
00:25:58,457 --> 00:25:59,692
Finished.

456
00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:01,427
That's the warning
apparatus in place.

457
00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:03,572
You really have to get some
food and sleep now, Papa.

458
00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:06,365
You've been at it without
a break for 48 hours...

459
00:26:06,432 --> 00:26:08,500
Now, I've had a bed put up
in the Institute shelter.

460
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,536
Shelter?
What shelter?

461
00:26:10,603 --> 00:26:12,705
There's a practice
air raid alert on.

462
00:26:12,772 --> 00:26:14,249
We should have been down there
an hour ago.

463
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,108
An alert?
For why?

464
00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:17,476
Because of you, Papa.

465
00:26:17,543 --> 00:26:20,112
Because of you
and this bomb of yours.

466
00:26:20,179 --> 00:26:21,781
I see.

467
00:26:21,848 --> 00:26:23,215
I wonder what they would think

468
00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:25,117
if they knew about
my little working model.

469
00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:27,419
I think that they would
all be very afraid.

470
00:26:27,486 --> 00:26:29,989
[DEVICE EMITS LOUD STATIC]

471
00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:32,158
I'm glad that warning
apparatus works.

472
00:26:32,224 --> 00:26:33,726
Yeah, of course.

473
00:26:33,793 --> 00:26:36,062
[EMITTING WARNING SOUND]

474
00:26:36,128 --> 00:26:37,496
Come on, Papa, please.

475
00:26:37,563 --> 00:26:38,731
Yes, for how long?

476
00:26:38,798 --> 00:26:40,199
It could be some time.

477
00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:41,877
They want people
to get used to long alerts.

478
00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,461
Then I will have
to remove the detonator

479
00:26:43,502 --> 00:26:44,603
to make it harmless.

480
00:26:44,671 --> 00:26:46,005
It's very sensitive.

481
00:26:46,072 --> 00:26:47,907
It can go off like, like,
like, like...

482
00:26:47,974 --> 00:26:49,942
Are you sure
you haven't got a hairpin?

483
00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:51,377
Hey, what's going on here?

484
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,145
Why aren't you two
in the air raid shelter?

485
00:26:53,212 --> 00:26:54,714
What's the big idea?

486
00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:56,825
What's the idea of coming into
this lab without knocking?

487
00:26:56,849 --> 00:26:58,184
Look, Sister, this is an alert.

488
00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,285
So let's be alert.

489
00:26:59,351 --> 00:27:00,352
Come on. Out. Out. Out.

490
00:27:00,419 --> 00:27:01,487
Look, you'll get out,

491
00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:02,698
if you know what's good for you.

492
00:27:02,722 --> 00:27:03,990
Are you kidding?

493
00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:06,101
Now, you two can go peaceable,
or I can drag you out.

494
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,526
So which is it going to be?

495
00:27:07,593 --> 00:27:09,729
Hey, what are we doing,
playing games here?

496
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:11,030
Come along, Pop.

497
00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:12,598
Don't you know
that's Dr. Kokintz?

498
00:27:12,665 --> 00:27:14,433
Kokintz, Smokintz, who cares?

499
00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:17,269
Come on, let's get go--

500
00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:18,838
Wait a minute...

501
00:27:18,905 --> 00:27:20,172
Kokintz?

502
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:21,316
You mean the fellow
with the Q-bomb?

503
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:22,474
That's right.

504
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:23,542
No kidding?

505
00:27:23,609 --> 00:27:24,677
No kidding.

506
00:27:24,744 --> 00:27:25,978
Hi, Doc.

507
00:27:26,045 --> 00:27:27,346
How do you do?

508
00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:28,514
Hey, this is it, huh?

509
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:29,615
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

510
00:27:29,682 --> 00:27:30,817
That's it,

511
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:32,118
but it's a secret.

512
00:27:32,184 --> 00:27:33,619
Now, do you mind
leaving us alone?

513
00:27:33,686 --> 00:27:35,521
My father wants
to disconnect it.

514
00:27:35,587 --> 00:27:36,689
What?

515
00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:37,757
You mean it's connected?

516
00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:39,158
It sure is,

517
00:27:39,225 --> 00:27:40,635
and what's more,
it's on a hair trigger,

518
00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:43,529
so please don't slam the door
on the way out.

519
00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:46,398
Yeah, sure.
Okay.

520
00:27:46,465 --> 00:27:47,700
See you later, Doc.

521
00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:48,868
Yes, goodbye.

522
00:27:48,935 --> 00:27:50,369
Hey...

523
00:27:50,436 --> 00:27:51,637
Why isn't he in Oak Ridge

524
00:27:51,704 --> 00:27:53,005
with the rest of the scientists?

525
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:54,206
He's eccentric.

526
00:27:54,273 --> 00:27:55,441
He likes to work alone.

527
00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:56,709
But I thought this thing

528
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:57,643
was only in the planning stage.

529
00:27:57,710 --> 00:27:58,778
It was.

530
00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,146
This is his first working model.

531
00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:02,414
He wants to surprise everybody.

532
00:28:02,481 --> 00:28:03,750
Great sense of humor.

533
00:28:03,816 --> 00:28:06,218
Oh...
one more question.

534
00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:07,954
Why is it so different
from an H bomb?

535
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:10,622
The H bomb?

536
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:13,192
This new bomb
is based on quodium,

537
00:28:13,259 --> 00:28:15,995
which is 100 times more
powerful than hydrogen.

538
00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:17,496
In fact,

539
00:28:17,563 --> 00:28:19,574
my father uses an H-bomb
just to trigger this one off.

540
00:28:19,598 --> 00:28:21,834
It could probably blow up
all of North America.

541
00:28:21,901 --> 00:28:23,870
Yeah, and some of
South America, also.

542
00:28:23,936 --> 00:28:25,304
Any more questions?

543
00:28:25,371 --> 00:28:27,206
Yeah, where do you have
to go to be safe?

544
00:28:27,273 --> 00:28:29,375
Now, that is
a difficult question.

545
00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:31,543
Carbon 14, you understand?

546
00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:33,079
Oh, yeah, yeah.

547
00:28:33,145 --> 00:28:34,622
Hey, that's a dangerous
thing you've got there.

548
00:28:34,646 --> 00:28:35,982
Yes it is.

549
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:38,117
Let's just hope that
it'll never be used.

550
00:28:38,184 --> 00:28:39,685
That's a nice thought.

551
00:28:39,752 --> 00:28:42,054
I feel better already.

552
00:28:42,121 --> 00:28:45,992
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

553
00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:52,231
Now, you really must try
to be more careful.

554
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,366
Good bye.
Just a minute!

555
00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:57,169
You haven't had anything
to eat since yesterday, Papa.

556
00:28:57,236 --> 00:28:59,014
How about asking this man
to bring us some sandwiches?

557
00:28:59,038 --> 00:29:00,706
I've got an awful lot
of things to do.

558
00:29:00,773 --> 00:29:02,284
Oh, now, you wouldn't
want my father's hands

559
00:29:02,308 --> 00:29:03,675
to shake from hunger, would you?

560
00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:04,887
What kind? Cheese?
Chopped liver?

561
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:05,945
Chopped liver?

562
00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:07,113
Chopped liver...

563
00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:08,347
With a pickle, please.

564
00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:09,615
With a pickle...

565
00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:45,384
Well, I can't understand it.

566
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:46,785
According to the map,

567
00:29:46,853 --> 00:29:48,396
we're supposed to be
taking a short cut.

568
00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:49,421
I'm tired.

569
00:29:49,488 --> 00:29:50,556
Oh, chin up, Cobbley.

570
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:51,867
Perhaps when we get
to the Arsenal,

571
00:29:51,891 --> 00:29:53,792
they'll give us
a nice cup of tea.

572
00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:56,095
Will, someone's
left the engine running.

573
00:29:56,162 --> 00:29:57,329
Maybe we can get a lift.

574
00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:58,697
Yeah.

575
00:30:05,872 --> 00:30:07,006
Hey!

576
00:30:07,073 --> 00:30:08,340
What's the matter?

577
00:30:08,407 --> 00:30:09,885
There's some guys
hanging around the truck.

578
00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:11,010
Air raid wardens?

579
00:30:11,077 --> 00:30:12,544
No, these are
funny-looking guys.

580
00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:13,822
What do you mean,
funny-looking?

581
00:30:13,846 --> 00:30:15,781
I mean funny-looking,
like fish.

582
00:30:15,848 --> 00:30:16,983
Who are you kidding?

583
00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:18,060
What do you mean, like fish?

584
00:30:18,084 --> 00:30:19,118
They've got scales.

585
00:30:19,185 --> 00:30:20,286
Where?

586
00:30:20,352 --> 00:30:21,553
All over them.

587
00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:25,824
Mulligan, you sick or somethin'?

588
00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:31,864
Men from outer space!

589
00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:33,299
They're off a flying saucer.

590
00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:34,433
Off of sputnik.

591
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:35,834
Oh, look!

592
00:30:35,902 --> 00:30:37,036
They've seen us.

593
00:30:37,103 --> 00:30:38,404
Let's get out of here!

594
00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:39,906
Men from outer space!

595
00:30:39,972 --> 00:30:43,242
They're off a flying saucer.

596
00:30:44,911 --> 00:30:46,578
Ray guns!

597
00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:47,914
I'm getting out of this suit.

598
00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:49,048
Me, too.

599
00:30:49,115 --> 00:30:50,116
Don't shoot.

600
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,283
We'll get into trouble.

601
00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:52,384
Hold it.

602
00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:53,619
They're not from outer space.

603
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:54,921
They're Americans.

604
00:30:54,987 --> 00:30:56,422
They probably belong
to this truck.

605
00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:58,224
Let's go after them,
tell them we're sorry.

606
00:30:58,290 --> 00:30:59,868
No, it's too late.
Let's go and surrender

607
00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:01,536
before we get in any more
trouble. Come on.

608
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:02,694
No, just a minute,

609
00:31:02,761 --> 00:31:03,838
we shouldn't leave this truck

610
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:04,907
with the engine
running, should we?

611
00:31:04,931 --> 00:31:06,032
We'll turn it in.

612
00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:07,266
That'll make them happy.

613
00:31:07,333 --> 00:31:08,500
All right men, into the truck.

614
00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:09,501
We'll ride to the Arsenal.

615
00:31:09,568 --> 00:31:11,037
Come on.

616
00:31:13,172 --> 00:31:14,840
You wait here.
I'll get to a phone

617
00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:15,984
and call "Special Reports."

618
00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:18,577
Yeah, right.

619
00:31:27,486 --> 00:31:28,955
Okay, you come on
down the subway!

620
00:31:29,021 --> 00:31:30,122
Hey, wait a minute.

621
00:31:30,189 --> 00:31:31,757
I'm a decontamination man.

622
00:31:31,823 --> 00:31:33,692
Yeah, where's your uniform?

623
00:31:33,759 --> 00:31:35,294
I threw it away

624
00:31:35,361 --> 00:31:36,905
when I was being chased
by the men from outer space.

625
00:31:36,929 --> 00:31:38,630
I'm waiting for my partner.

626
00:31:38,697 --> 00:31:39,841
Come on, you going
to come quietly?

627
00:31:39,865 --> 00:31:41,067
Listen--

628
00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:42,334
Come on, come on.

629
00:31:42,401 --> 00:31:44,003
Men from Mars...
I saw them.

630
00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:45,371
Men from Mars!

631
00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:46,505
Special Reports?

632
00:31:46,572 --> 00:31:47,673
Special Reports.

633
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,108
What's your name and section?

634
00:31:49,175 --> 00:31:53,712
O'Hara. Section 4300
Sub-section 3, Decontamination.

635
00:31:53,779 --> 00:31:55,281
Okay, go ahead.

636
00:31:55,347 --> 00:31:57,316
There's a bunch of men
from a flying saucer

637
00:31:57,383 --> 00:31:58,684
just landed in Central Park.

638
00:31:58,750 --> 00:31:59,918
How many?

639
00:31:59,986 --> 00:32:01,220
50 or 60.

640
00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,889
50 or 60 men

641
00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:07,493
from a flying saucer--

642
00:32:07,559 --> 00:32:08,727
Say, what is this?

643
00:32:08,794 --> 00:32:10,896
Just what I said.
I saw them.

644
00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:12,764
50 or 60...

645
00:32:12,831 --> 00:32:14,466
with metal heads,

646
00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,668
and all covered in
some kind of shiny stuff.

647
00:32:16,735 --> 00:32:18,804
They fired at us
with some kind of a Ray gun

648
00:32:18,870 --> 00:32:20,406
in Central Park.

649
00:32:20,472 --> 00:32:22,841
You've been told to keep out
of Saloons, haven't you?

650
00:32:22,908 --> 00:32:25,277
The job you're doing is serious.

651
00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:26,845
Where are you now?

652
00:32:26,912 --> 00:32:29,215
I'm in a grocery store on
Columbus Avenue
and 69th Street,

653
00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:30,616
and I ain't been in any saloon.

654
00:32:30,682 --> 00:32:32,384
Well, stay right where you are.

655
00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:35,121
I'm going to send somebody over.

656
00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:37,956
Off a flying saucer,
300 of them in Central Park.

657
00:32:38,024 --> 00:32:40,692
Men from Mars,
400 of them in Central Park.

658
00:32:40,759 --> 00:32:43,162
We have been
invaded from Mars,
thousands of them.

659
00:32:43,229 --> 00:32:44,463
Men from Mars.

660
00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:46,065
Flying saucers
all over the place.

661
00:32:46,132 --> 00:32:49,835
Men from Mars with Ray guns.

662
00:32:49,901 --> 00:32:51,370
Yeah, I know.

663
00:33:01,247 --> 00:33:02,248
Right, men, number up!

664
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:04,083
[MUMBLED COUNTING]

665
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:05,384
Twenty-one?

666
00:33:05,451 --> 00:33:06,552
Twenty-two, sir.

667
00:33:06,618 --> 00:33:07,819
All present and correct, sir.

668
00:33:07,886 --> 00:33:09,355
Good.

669
00:33:09,421 --> 00:33:11,923
Now, then, lads, remember,
there is nothing wrong

670
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,925
in surrendering
to overwhelming odds

671
00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,994
provided we do it
in a military fashion.

672
00:33:16,062 --> 00:33:17,129
Yes...

673
00:33:17,196 --> 00:33:18,364
Carry on.

674
00:33:18,430 --> 00:33:19,498
Right, men.

675
00:33:19,565 --> 00:33:24,470
Fall in, smartly!

676
00:33:24,536 --> 00:33:26,138
All right, lads, follow me.

677
00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:29,441
That way.
Quick march.

678
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:31,843
Halt!

679
00:33:31,910 --> 00:33:33,011
Tully?

680
00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:35,247
Yes?

681
00:33:35,314 --> 00:33:37,649
Look at that.

682
00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:41,487
New York Institute
of Advanced Physics.

683
00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:42,854
That's not the Arsenal, is it?

684
00:33:42,921 --> 00:33:44,923
No. We're lost again.
Yes...

685
00:33:44,990 --> 00:33:46,592
All right men, back to the truck

686
00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:47,793
at the double.

687
00:34:00,506 --> 00:34:02,141
Will!

688
00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:08,714
This is General Snippet.
Get me Washington.

689
00:34:12,484 --> 00:34:13,719
Yes, Snippet?

690
00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:16,655
Oh, Mr. Secretary,
I have to report

691
00:34:16,722 --> 00:34:19,925
an emergency situation
in New York.

692
00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:21,360
There's a rumor going around

693
00:34:21,427 --> 00:34:23,929
the city's been invaded
by men from Mars,

694
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:25,039
and it's spreading
like wildfire.

695
00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:27,099
Did you say men from Mars?

696
00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:29,201
Yes, sir, in Central Park.

697
00:34:29,268 --> 00:34:30,702
Well, how did that rumor begin?

698
00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:32,447
Well, a civil defense
squad leader
turned in a report.

699
00:34:32,471 --> 00:34:34,340
Was he drunk?
Well, we thought so,

700
00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:36,608
but I thought I'd better
make a report on it anyway.

701
00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:38,177
All right, Snippet, you go out

702
00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:40,078
and make a personal inspection
of that Park

703
00:34:40,146 --> 00:34:41,547
and report to me.

704
00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:43,682
This kind of nonsense
can ruin an exercise,

705
00:34:43,749 --> 00:34:44,916
designed to protect

706
00:34:44,983 --> 00:34:46,952
the largest city of our Nation.

707
00:34:47,018 --> 00:34:49,955
A city which,
I don't need to stress,

708
00:34:50,021 --> 00:34:52,691
has been entrusted to your care!

709
00:34:56,562 --> 00:34:57,596
Get me my jeep!

710
00:35:01,667 --> 00:35:03,347
We really better not
wait any longer, Papa.

711
00:35:03,402 --> 00:35:05,837
We have to get down
to the shelter.

712
00:35:05,904 --> 00:35:08,974
Very well, but I am hungry.

713
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,276
I'll do the bomb before we go.

714
00:35:10,342 --> 00:35:11,577
Well, I don't understand

715
00:35:11,643 --> 00:35:12,754
why that warden
doesn't come back

716
00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:13,912
with the sandwiches.

717
00:35:13,979 --> 00:35:16,682
Even with white bread,
with no pickle...

718
00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:17,949
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

719
00:35:18,016 --> 00:35:19,185
Oh, thank goodness.

720
00:35:23,489 --> 00:35:24,590
Just put the food here--

721
00:35:24,656 --> 00:35:26,425
Oh!

722
00:35:26,492 --> 00:35:27,493
Who are you?

723
00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:29,828
What do you want?

724
00:35:29,895 --> 00:35:31,963
Well, what is it?

725
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:37,369
Um, I'm Tully Bascombe,
and this is Will Buckley.

726
00:35:37,436 --> 00:35:40,972
Is that Dr. Kokintz?
Er, yes, I am.

727
00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:43,542
Oh, how nice. We just took
a chance, and here you are.

728
00:35:43,609 --> 00:35:45,344
You didn't bring my sandwiches?

729
00:35:45,411 --> 00:35:47,045
Sandwiches?

730
00:35:47,112 --> 00:35:49,581
Um...er...no, sir,
we've come to capture you.

731
00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:51,217
Is this some kind of a joke?

732
00:35:51,283 --> 00:35:52,418
What are those uniforms?

733
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:53,585
You're not wardens.

734
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:54,886
No, Miss, we're soldiers.

735
00:35:54,953 --> 00:35:56,130
I haven't got time
to explain now,

736
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:57,456
but we're at war with America.

737
00:35:57,523 --> 00:35:59,358
We came over here to surrender,

738
00:35:59,425 --> 00:36:01,960
and now, I think if we take
Dr. Kokintz back with us,

739
00:36:02,027 --> 00:36:03,805
we shall be in a much better
bargaining position.

740
00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:05,030
That is it in brief.

741
00:36:05,096 --> 00:36:06,598
They're both crazy.

742
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,334
Yes, phone the Police.

743
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,001
Call the Army!

744
00:36:10,068 --> 00:36:11,069
That's no use, sir.

745
00:36:11,136 --> 00:36:12,671
Everybody's underground.

746
00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:14,573
What's that on the table?

747
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,107
It's a coffee percolator.

748
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:17,609
A coffee percolator.

749
00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:19,010
Is it?

750
00:36:19,077 --> 00:36:21,680
I've never seen
an American percolator.

751
00:36:21,747 --> 00:36:22,914
What do I push?

752
00:36:22,981 --> 00:36:25,951
Don't push anything!

753
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,754
I think that's the Q-bomb.

754
00:36:28,820 --> 00:36:30,489
Yes.

755
00:36:30,556 --> 00:36:32,057
Small, isn't it?

756
00:36:32,123 --> 00:36:33,925
It's made portable.

757
00:36:33,992 --> 00:36:35,294
Well, well, well.

758
00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:37,162
We'd better take it
along, too, Tully.

759
00:36:37,229 --> 00:36:38,473
Yes, that's a very
good idea, Will.

760
00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:39,565
Corporal?

761
00:36:39,631 --> 00:36:40,799
Well, shall we go, sir?

762
00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:41,967
You leave my father alone!

763
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,335
Oh, you're his daughter.

764
00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:44,936
Well, you'd better
come along as well.

765
00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:46,281
Look, I don't think
you know what you're doing.

766
00:36:46,305 --> 00:36:48,073
No! No violence, please.

767
00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:49,140
The bomb...

768
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:51,176
Now, Mr. Grand Marshal,
please permit me

769
00:36:51,243 --> 00:36:52,744
to dismantle it first.

770
00:36:52,811 --> 00:36:54,780
I'm sorry, sir,
but we haven't time.

771
00:36:54,846 --> 00:36:56,147
Now, how do I carry it?

772
00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,649
Carefully...

773
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,052
But, Mr. Constable,
don't stumble,

774
00:37:01,119 --> 00:37:02,220
don't fall,

775
00:37:02,288 --> 00:37:03,322
because if you fall,

776
00:37:03,389 --> 00:37:06,057
all of America falls with you.

777
00:37:06,124 --> 00:37:07,626
I see.

778
00:37:15,634 --> 00:37:18,670
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

779
00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:39,325
Shall we go?

780
00:37:39,391 --> 00:37:42,260
Fall in, you men!

781
00:37:42,328 --> 00:37:44,663
Please treat the bomb
with great care.

782
00:37:44,730 --> 00:37:46,765
Do be careful.

783
00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:50,336
Get 'em in quickly.

784
00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:52,838
Come along.

785
00:37:58,209 --> 00:38:00,078
Take cover, all of you!

786
00:38:15,494 --> 00:38:16,862
What is this?

787
00:38:16,928 --> 00:38:18,029
What's happening here?

788
00:38:18,096 --> 00:38:19,465
What's your name, soldier?

789
00:38:19,531 --> 00:38:21,108
I'm General Snippet,
you fool. Who are you?

790
00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:23,177
What's going on around here?
Why are you dressed like this?

791
00:38:23,201 --> 00:38:24,470
I'm Field Marshal

792
00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:25,613
and Chief Constable
Tully Bascombe,

793
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:27,005
and you're prisoners of war.

794
00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:28,712
Field Marshal
and Chief Constable of what?

795
00:38:28,740 --> 00:38:30,075
The Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

796
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:32,210
All right, Fenwick,
you're under arrest.

797
00:38:32,277 --> 00:38:33,579
You'll get 100 years for this.

798
00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:35,085
We'll talk about it
in Grand Fenwick.

799
00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:36,448
You'll be treated

800
00:38:36,515 --> 00:38:37,592
with all deference due
to your rank, General.

801
00:38:37,616 --> 00:38:38,717
Um...

802
00:38:38,784 --> 00:38:40,185
Take them away, men.

803
00:38:41,052 --> 00:38:42,921
150 years--

804
00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:44,690
on bread and water...

805
00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:49,060
We interrupt this program

806
00:38:49,127 --> 00:38:50,327
for an important announcement.

807
00:38:50,362 --> 00:38:51,562
Contrary to rumor there are...

808
00:38:51,597 --> 00:38:52,631
[RADIO STATIC]

809
00:38:52,698 --> 00:38:54,032
from Mars in the city...

810
00:38:54,099 --> 00:38:55,333
Do not panic.

811
00:38:55,401 --> 00:38:56,568
What'd he say?

812
00:38:56,635 --> 00:38:57,779
Hey, cut that out!
It's my radio.

813
00:38:57,803 --> 00:38:59,405
What did he say?

814
00:38:59,471 --> 00:39:00,806
...men from Mars in the City.

815
00:39:00,872 --> 00:39:02,107
So stay where you are.

816
00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:03,241
We have...

817
00:39:03,308 --> 00:39:04,510
[RADIO STATIC]

818
00:39:04,576 --> 00:39:05,620
been invaded by men from Mars.

819
00:39:05,644 --> 00:39:06,812
Did you hear that?

820
00:39:06,878 --> 00:39:08,013
I knew it.

821
00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:09,781
I knew it had to come.

822
00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:13,218
...men from Mars in the city,
so stay where you are.

823
00:39:13,284 --> 00:39:16,321
[SCREAMING]

824
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:24,496
Ahoy, there!

825
00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:28,066
Well, Field Marshal,
you weren't away very long.

826
00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:31,302
How did the war with
the United States go, huh?

827
00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:32,404
We won!

828
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:47,686
Mr. Secretary, sir.

829
00:39:47,753 --> 00:39:48,987
Yes, Captain, what is it?

830
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,654
It's General Snippet.
He's still missing.

831
00:39:50,689 --> 00:39:51,857
Oh, that man's an idiot.

832
00:39:51,923 --> 00:39:53,000
I'll have his star for this.

833
00:39:53,024 --> 00:39:54,392
But they've found his jeep

834
00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:56,662
at the New York Institute
of Advanced Physics.

835
00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:59,765
They--

836
00:39:59,831 --> 00:40:01,132
Go on.

837
00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:02,610
They say it was shot
full of arrows...

838
00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:03,869
Arrows?

839
00:40:03,935 --> 00:40:05,136
That's the report, sir.
They're

840
00:40:05,203 --> 00:40:06,104
flying them down from New York.

841
00:40:06,171 --> 00:40:07,238
Also there was a flag.

842
00:40:07,305 --> 00:40:08,540
On the arrows?

843
00:40:08,607 --> 00:40:10,642
On one of the Customs
sheds at the docks.

844
00:40:10,709 --> 00:40:11,710
What flag is it?

845
00:40:11,777 --> 00:40:12,944
Nobody's identified it yet,

846
00:40:13,011 --> 00:40:14,980
but they're flying it down, too.

847
00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:16,414
Also, those, uh...

848
00:40:16,482 --> 00:40:18,216
rumors about men from Mars,

849
00:40:18,283 --> 00:40:19,518
they're still spreading.

850
00:40:19,585 --> 00:40:21,119
I'm going to stop this alert.

851
00:40:21,186 --> 00:40:22,229
There's something
funny going on,

852
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:25,457
and I don't like it.

853
00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:26,801
A foreign flag
on a Customs shed?

854
00:40:26,825 --> 00:40:28,026
Yes, sir.

855
00:40:31,463 --> 00:40:32,864
Now, Fothergill,

856
00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:35,300
you're in charge
of Post Exchange Relations.

857
00:40:35,366 --> 00:40:37,035
I think we all realize
how important it is

858
00:40:37,102 --> 00:40:39,004
to the well-being
of any community

859
00:40:39,070 --> 00:40:41,239
to have a helpful,
friendly P.X.

860
00:40:41,306 --> 00:40:43,675
So...be on your toes,

861
00:40:43,742 --> 00:40:45,820
and under the circumstances,
gentlemen, I see no reason

862
00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:47,522
why we can't let the Americans
have our wine

863
00:40:47,546 --> 00:40:48,547
at a generous discount.

864
00:40:48,614 --> 00:40:50,115
Right.
Agreed?

865
00:40:50,181 --> 00:40:51,249
Hear, hear!

866
00:40:51,316 --> 00:40:52,718
Yes...
Mayberry!

867
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:54,520
First impressions
are always the strongest,

868
00:40:54,586 --> 00:40:57,789
So be sure and give
those smiling, boyish G.I.s

869
00:40:57,856 --> 00:40:59,433
a fine friendly welcome
when they arrive.

870
00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:00,892
Of course.

871
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:02,093
And, er--

872
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:03,695
as soon as we get the money,

873
00:41:03,762 --> 00:41:05,940
we simply must
get hold of some
of those malted milk machines,

874
00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:08,099
right?

875
00:41:08,166 --> 00:41:09,768
And not forget
about the hot dogs.

876
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,102
Hear, hear.

877
00:41:11,169 --> 00:41:13,171
Which, er--

878
00:41:13,238 --> 00:41:14,540
brings me, gentlemen,

879
00:41:14,606 --> 00:41:17,175
to the question
of non-fraternization.

880
00:41:17,242 --> 00:41:20,579
Now, the Occupation Authority
is certain to be very strict

881
00:41:20,646 --> 00:41:21,680
in this matter,

882
00:41:21,747 --> 00:41:22,948
and, naturally,

883
00:41:23,014 --> 00:41:25,116
we will want to co-operate
in every possible way.

884
00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:27,619
I should imagine
that non-fraternization

885
00:41:27,686 --> 00:41:29,154
will last for approximately...

886
00:41:29,220 --> 00:41:30,522
What?
48 hours, eh?

887
00:41:30,589 --> 00:41:31,690
48 hours.

888
00:41:31,757 --> 00:41:33,091
After which, gentlemen,

889
00:41:33,158 --> 00:41:35,627
we will want those lonesome
G.I. boys

890
00:41:35,694 --> 00:41:39,898
to feel that this is a real
home away from home.

891
00:41:42,634 --> 00:41:44,536
I think that deals
with everything.

892
00:41:44,603 --> 00:41:45,704
Are there any questions?

893
00:41:45,771 --> 00:41:47,172
No.

894
00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:48,306
Good.

895
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,676
Except, uh...

896
00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:53,211
shouldn't we have
heard something by now?

897
00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:54,780
My dear fellow, not to worry.

898
00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:58,850
Even a complete nincompoop
like Tully can't
spoil this war.

899
00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:08,393
Come on.

900
00:42:10,829 --> 00:42:11,997
Keep moving!

901
00:42:12,063 --> 00:42:13,398
I don't want any more exercise.

902
00:42:13,464 --> 00:42:14,709
Half-an-hour.
Field Marshal's orders.

903
00:42:14,733 --> 00:42:15,867
Move!

904
00:42:15,934 --> 00:42:17,054
On the double!
On the double!

905
00:42:23,842 --> 00:42:25,877
[BOMB'S STATIC ALARM SOUNDING]

906
00:42:31,817 --> 00:42:35,086
It is worse than sitting
on a barrel of gunpowder.

907
00:42:35,153 --> 00:42:36,321
Much worse.

908
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:37,789
He won't let you dismantle it?

909
00:42:37,856 --> 00:42:40,091
No, I told him it was dangerous.

910
00:42:40,158 --> 00:42:42,027
He said he wants it dangerous.

911
00:42:42,093 --> 00:42:43,561
He's power crazy.

912
00:42:43,629 --> 00:42:45,740
He knows whoever has the bomb
has the world by the tail.

913
00:42:45,764 --> 00:42:47,633
There is only one way
to save us.

914
00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:49,868
Now, you must persuade him
to let me make it harmless.

915
00:42:49,935 --> 00:42:51,069
I must persuade him?

916
00:42:51,136 --> 00:42:52,303
Why me?

917
00:42:52,370 --> 00:42:53,504
He likes you.

918
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:54,640
Well, I don't like him.

919
00:42:54,706 --> 00:42:55,841
For America...

920
00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:57,375
No, sir, not me.

921
00:42:57,442 --> 00:42:58,509
For mankind.

922
00:42:58,576 --> 00:42:59,678
I hate him.

923
00:42:59,745 --> 00:43:00,812
That is irrelevant.

924
00:43:00,879 --> 00:43:02,480
Not to me.

925
00:43:02,547 --> 00:43:05,383
Please...do it?

926
00:43:05,450 --> 00:43:07,753
Is it absolutely
necessary, Papa?

927
00:43:07,819 --> 00:43:09,087
Absolutely.

928
00:43:09,154 --> 00:43:10,321
Sorry, visiting time is over.

929
00:43:10,388 --> 00:43:11,623
Yes, I am just coming.

930
00:43:11,690 --> 00:43:13,491
Absolutely.

931
00:43:13,558 --> 00:43:15,193
Okay.

932
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:16,928
Will you please
tell the Dictator

933
00:43:16,995 --> 00:43:18,029
I'd like to see him?

934
00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:19,097
Who, ma'am?

935
00:43:19,164 --> 00:43:20,265
Bascombe.

936
00:43:20,331 --> 00:43:22,533
Oh, yes, ma'am.

937
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,569
Are you a typical
American girl, ma'am?

938
00:43:24,636 --> 00:43:26,071
Come on!

939
00:43:26,137 --> 00:43:28,173
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

940
00:43:40,085 --> 00:43:41,419
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

941
00:43:41,486 --> 00:43:42,721
Come in.

942
00:43:45,824 --> 00:43:48,226
You wanted to see me?

943
00:43:48,293 --> 00:43:50,461
Yes, as a matter of fact
Mr. Bascombe...

944
00:43:50,528 --> 00:43:52,163
Mr. Bascombe?

945
00:43:57,035 --> 00:43:58,569
You wanted to see me?

946
00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:00,471
Yes.

947
00:44:00,538 --> 00:44:01,773
Is everything all right?

948
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,842
Oh, wonderful,
couldn't be better.

949
00:44:03,909 --> 00:44:05,143
A two by four cabin

950
00:44:05,210 --> 00:44:06,745
on a rocky old boat

951
00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:09,114
with a deadly bomb ready
to explode under the floor.

952
00:44:09,180 --> 00:44:10,749
What more could a girl ask?

953
00:44:10,816 --> 00:44:11,917
Oh, that's nice.

954
00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:13,651
Thanks a lot.

955
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:15,987
Is there something
I can do for you?

956
00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:18,824
Yes, you could let my father
dismantle the bomb.

957
00:44:18,890 --> 00:44:21,092
I'm sorry, I couldn't do that.

958
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:24,162
Please,
as a personal favor to me?

959
00:44:24,229 --> 00:44:26,531
No, no, I couldn't.

960
00:44:26,597 --> 00:44:28,075
I knew it wasn't any use
talking to you.

961
00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:29,234
Go away.

962
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:30,435
All right.

963
00:44:37,642 --> 00:44:39,377
I think you're holding me.

964
00:44:39,444 --> 00:44:40,478
I am?

965
00:44:42,948 --> 00:44:45,817
Is this the way you treat
all your prisoners of war?

966
00:44:45,884 --> 00:44:47,085
I'm sorry.

967
00:44:47,152 --> 00:44:49,287
Oh, I didn't mean to offend you.

968
00:44:49,354 --> 00:44:50,756
I hope you're not upset.

969
00:44:50,822 --> 00:44:52,323
No, I'm not upset.

970
00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:54,793
Do you forgive me?

971
00:44:54,860 --> 00:44:56,728
Yes.

972
00:44:56,795 --> 00:44:58,563
Can I go now, please?

973
00:44:58,629 --> 00:45:01,132
Not just yet, please.

974
00:45:01,199 --> 00:45:04,502
Surely, Mr. Bascombe,
despite everything,

975
00:45:04,569 --> 00:45:06,938
we can still be friends,
can't we?

976
00:45:07,005 --> 00:45:08,106
Yes.

977
00:45:08,173 --> 00:45:10,175
That's nice.

978
00:45:10,241 --> 00:45:14,980
I've always admired strong,
silent men, like you.

979
00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:16,414
You're awfully young
and handsome

980
00:45:16,481 --> 00:45:19,484
to be a real Field Marshal
and everything.

981
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:22,187
Do you like American girls?

982
00:45:22,253 --> 00:45:23,488
I don't know any Ame--

983
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,957
American girls but you.

984
00:45:26,024 --> 00:45:27,458
I like you.

985
00:45:27,525 --> 00:45:29,194
That's nice.

986
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:31,262
Would you like to kiss me?

987
00:45:31,329 --> 00:45:32,931
I wouldn't mind.

988
00:45:32,998 --> 00:45:36,567
You can turn round right now
and kiss me if you want to.

989
00:45:36,634 --> 00:45:37,702
Really?

990
00:45:37,769 --> 00:45:39,237
Really.

991
00:45:45,043 --> 00:45:47,846
[TULLY MOANING WITH NAUSEA]

992
00:46:03,161 --> 00:46:05,230
Listen to this.

993
00:46:05,296 --> 00:46:08,633
Look out for a pirate ship
flying a double-headed eagle.

994
00:46:08,699 --> 00:46:10,368
She may attack you.

995
00:46:10,435 --> 00:46:11,602
What's that mean?

996
00:46:11,669 --> 00:46:13,038
I can't imagine, sir.

997
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:14,772
Oh, a ship on the port bow, sir.

998
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:16,207
Is that so?

999
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,914
Well, perhaps she's seen
this pirate ship.

1000
00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:22,113
Hello!
Hello, you down there.

1001
00:46:22,180 --> 00:46:23,381
Have you seen a little--

1002
00:46:43,902 --> 00:46:47,105
[SPEAKING FRENCH]

1003
00:46:55,180 --> 00:46:56,481
Mons-- Monsieur!

1004
00:47:07,092 --> 00:47:09,895
Help!
This is a kidnapping.

1005
00:47:09,961 --> 00:47:11,272
Inform the United States
Embassy that seven--

1006
00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:12,463
All right, come on.

1007
00:47:12,530 --> 00:47:13,731
Take your hands off me!

1008
00:47:38,056 --> 00:47:39,324
What was all that about?

1009
00:47:39,390 --> 00:47:41,359
I don't know,
I don't speak French.

1010
00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:50,177
Hurry, please, I can't
keep the President waiting,

1011
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,503
and don't forget that
Declaration of War.

1012
00:47:52,570 --> 00:47:53,972
No, sir.

1013
00:47:54,039 --> 00:47:56,350
Fine thing, the United States
and the Grand Duchy of Fenwick

1014
00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:57,542
are at war,

1015
00:47:57,608 --> 00:48:00,145
and it takes the F.B.I.
to find out about it.

1016
00:48:00,211 --> 00:48:01,646
Yes, sir.

1017
00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,290
The Declaration was found
behind the radiator

1018
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:04,049
in that fellow's office
in the State Department,

1019
00:48:04,115 --> 00:48:05,050
wasn't it, sir?

1020
00:48:05,116 --> 00:48:06,217
Yes, sir.

1021
00:48:06,284 --> 00:48:07,718
I mean, yes.

1022
00:48:07,785 --> 00:48:09,630
Anyway, Chester won't like
it on the island of Yap,

1023
00:48:09,654 --> 00:48:11,222
but how am I going
to tell the President

1024
00:48:11,289 --> 00:48:12,823
that we've been
successfully invaded

1025
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:15,293
by a bunch of fifteenth
century Europeans?

1026
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:16,928
Oh, I'm sure
you'll find a way, sir.

1027
00:48:16,995 --> 00:48:19,130
And all over some
imitation wine.

1028
00:48:19,197 --> 00:48:20,431
But what I can't understand

1029
00:48:20,498 --> 00:48:22,600
is why they had
to resort to war.

1030
00:48:22,667 --> 00:48:24,669
There are many ways
of settling differences

1031
00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:25,971
short of war,

1032
00:48:26,037 --> 00:48:27,814
and we've always been nice
to little countries

1033
00:48:27,838 --> 00:48:29,240
all over the world.

1034
00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:30,717
Yes, sir, but they did
send us some protests,

1035
00:48:30,741 --> 00:48:32,219
didn't they, sir,
and we ignored them.

1036
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:34,445
How am I going to break
the news to the President

1037
00:48:34,512 --> 00:48:36,214
that we've lost the war?

1038
00:48:36,281 --> 00:48:37,682
Lost the war, sir?

1039
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,051
Just because they landed,
and took a few hostages,

1040
00:48:40,118 --> 00:48:41,452
and then got away again.

1041
00:48:41,519 --> 00:48:42,920
Listen, this is Top Secret.

1042
00:48:42,988 --> 00:48:44,956
Not only did they capture
Dr. Kokintz,

1043
00:48:45,023 --> 00:48:47,725
but they also took his
working model of the Q-bomb.

1044
00:48:47,792 --> 00:48:49,427
The Q bomb!
Well, that means--

1045
00:48:49,494 --> 00:48:50,728
Yeah, sure.

1046
00:48:50,795 --> 00:48:53,331
They just about
control the world.

1047
00:48:53,398 --> 00:48:57,268
How am I going to tell that
to the President?

1048
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:01,239
[YANKEE DOODLE DANDY PLAYING]

1049
00:49:39,010 --> 00:49:41,546
Oh dear, this is so thrilling.

1050
00:49:41,612 --> 00:49:43,681
So exciting.

1051
00:49:43,748 --> 00:49:45,416
Where are
my smelling salts, Ada?

1052
00:49:48,319 --> 00:49:50,021
Hello, Bobo?

1053
00:49:50,088 --> 00:49:51,322
Happy Day.

1054
00:49:58,529 --> 00:49:59,864
Shouldn't they be here by now?

1055
00:49:59,930 --> 00:50:01,275
Do you remember
what that telegram said?

1056
00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:02,367
Yes, it said, uh, er,

1057
00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:04,435
arriving approximately
2:00 P.M..

1058
00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:05,812
with Americans
and wonderful news.

1059
00:50:05,836 --> 00:50:06,937
Love, Tully.

1060
00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:08,473
Good. Good.

1061
00:50:08,539 --> 00:50:10,475
I hope they don't bring
too many G.I.s.

1062
00:50:10,541 --> 00:50:12,053
They know we're a small
country, don't they?

1063
00:50:12,077 --> 00:50:13,278
Oh, of course they do.

1064
00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:14,212
Anyway, they're very considerate

1065
00:50:14,279 --> 00:50:15,946
about that sort of thing.

1066
00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:18,916
They're coming!

1067
00:50:18,983 --> 00:50:20,418
They're coming!
They're coming!

1068
00:51:21,379 --> 00:51:23,214
Company, fall in!

1069
00:51:28,052 --> 00:51:29,687
Well, Your Grace, we're home.

1070
00:51:29,754 --> 00:51:32,590
Actually, there's been
a slight change of plan.

1071
00:51:32,657 --> 00:51:35,226
Uh, I know it will come
as a surprise,

1072
00:51:35,293 --> 00:51:36,394
a pleasant one, I hope.

1073
00:51:36,461 --> 00:51:37,828
but we...sort of won.

1074
00:51:37,895 --> 00:51:40,198
You sort of what?

1075
00:51:40,265 --> 00:51:41,866
Well, sir, it's a long story.

1076
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:43,834
but we captured the Q-bomb...

1077
00:51:43,901 --> 00:51:46,036
the most destructive
weapon in the world,

1078
00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:47,538
and we've got
some prisoners, too.

1079
00:51:47,605 --> 00:51:50,208
This is Dr. Kokintz
who invented the bomb,

1080
00:51:50,275 --> 00:51:51,352
this is his daughter, Helen,

1081
00:51:51,376 --> 00:51:52,610
this is General Snippet,

1082
00:51:52,677 --> 00:51:53,954
and these
are New York policemen.

1083
00:51:53,978 --> 00:51:55,346
Oh, and, uh, this is the Bomb.

1084
00:51:55,413 --> 00:51:57,848
Blithering idiot.

1085
00:51:57,915 --> 00:51:59,450
Lady, please,

1086
00:51:59,517 --> 00:52:01,728
if this bomb
should explode, it
would wipe out most of Europe.

1087
00:52:01,752 --> 00:52:03,421
I beg of you,
let me make it harmless.

1088
00:52:03,488 --> 00:52:05,723
We can't do that, your Grace.

1089
00:52:05,790 --> 00:52:07,234
If they make it harmless,
we haven't won anything.

1090
00:52:07,258 --> 00:52:08,259
Just some prisoners.

1091
00:52:08,326 --> 00:52:09,660
Oh, dear.

1092
00:52:09,727 --> 00:52:11,896
This is most terribly
complicated.

1093
00:52:11,962 --> 00:52:13,331
Isn't it?

1094
00:52:13,398 --> 00:52:14,532
Er...

1095
00:52:14,599 --> 00:52:15,833
put the bomb away somewhere

1096
00:52:15,900 --> 00:52:17,302
in a dungeon.

1097
00:52:17,368 --> 00:52:18,903
And er...

1098
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:20,638
the doctor and, er...

1099
00:52:20,705 --> 00:52:22,649
Miss, er...Pokins,
can have
the rooms next to mine.

1100
00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:24,342
Would you like orange
or tomato juice

1101
00:52:24,409 --> 00:52:25,676
with your breakfast?

1102
00:52:25,743 --> 00:52:26,844
Orange, please.

1103
00:52:26,911 --> 00:52:29,013
Orange...

1104
00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:30,757
But, Lady this bomb
is not the kind of prisoner

1105
00:52:30,781 --> 00:52:32,116
you can shut up in a dungeon.

1106
00:52:32,183 --> 00:52:33,251
Listen, everybody!

1107
00:52:33,318 --> 00:52:34,719
This bomb is stolen property.

1108
00:52:34,785 --> 00:52:36,487
It belongs
to the United
States of America.

1109
00:52:36,554 --> 00:52:37,755
Now, you stop that.

1110
00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:39,300
We won it fair and square,
your Grace.

1111
00:52:39,324 --> 00:52:40,625
Give it back please!

1112
00:52:40,691 --> 00:52:42,193
If you don't,

1113
00:52:42,260 --> 00:52:44,180
you'll live in terror
for the rest of your lives.

1114
00:52:44,229 --> 00:52:45,563
Give it back!

1115
00:52:45,630 --> 00:52:47,332
It's the honest thing to do.

1116
00:52:47,398 --> 00:52:49,834
It's the wise thing to do.

1117
00:52:49,900 --> 00:52:52,102
It's-- It's the American
thing to do.

1118
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:56,006
There goes
a red-blooded American girl.

1119
00:52:56,073 --> 00:52:59,009
Your Grace,
this is General Snippet.

1120
00:52:59,076 --> 00:53:00,545
He's a real General.

1121
00:53:00,611 --> 00:53:03,481
I warn you, Madam, I know
the Geneva
convention by heart.

1122
00:53:03,548 --> 00:53:04,982
Oh, how nice.

1123
00:53:05,049 --> 00:53:07,318
You must recite it to me
some evening.

1124
00:53:07,385 --> 00:53:09,420
I play the Harpsichord.

1125
00:53:14,592 --> 00:53:15,969
Right this way, here,
won't be long.

1126
00:53:15,993 --> 00:53:17,628
Come on, in here, that'll do.

1127
00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:20,598
Thank you, sir.

1128
00:53:20,665 --> 00:53:21,899
Take your hands off me!

1129
00:53:21,966 --> 00:53:23,568
Who do you think
you think you are?

1130
00:53:38,115 --> 00:53:40,785
Psychological warfare.

1131
00:53:40,851 --> 00:53:42,453
Brain-washing...

1132
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,465
Remember men, only your name,
rank, and serial number--

1133
00:53:44,489 --> 00:53:45,590
What if they torture us?

1134
00:53:45,656 --> 00:53:46,657
Never mind what they do.

1135
00:53:46,724 --> 00:53:47,825
Don't talk!

1136
00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:49,360
Can we scream a little?

1137
00:53:49,427 --> 00:53:50,504
Now, the first thing to do
is to form
an escape committee,

1138
00:53:50,528 --> 00:53:52,162
and then--

1139
00:53:52,229 --> 00:53:53,831
Ah, there you are, General.

1140
00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:58,936
Well, what do you think
about our...exhibits?

1141
00:53:59,003 --> 00:54:00,305
I'm disappointed in you, Lady.

1142
00:54:00,371 --> 00:54:01,906
You'll never get away with it...

1143
00:54:01,972 --> 00:54:04,292
There are international laws
for
the treatment of prisoners.

1144
00:54:05,476 --> 00:54:06,877
You can't torture us,

1145
00:54:06,944 --> 00:54:08,322
and you can't keep us
in this cell, either.

1146
00:54:08,346 --> 00:54:11,382
My dear General,
this is not a cell.

1147
00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:13,117
This is a museum...

1148
00:54:13,183 --> 00:54:15,486
We don't do these
things anymore.

1149
00:54:15,553 --> 00:54:17,988
Oh. Oh, really?

1150
00:54:18,055 --> 00:54:20,525
Well, I knew it all the time.

1151
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:21,826
I was just testing you fellows.

1152
00:54:23,661 --> 00:54:25,730
Well, If you're ready,
I'll show you to your rooms.

1153
00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:27,097
Just a minute.

1154
00:54:27,164 --> 00:54:28,842
Are they
regulation-sized cells,
eight by six?

1155
00:54:28,866 --> 00:54:30,535
I really don't know.

1156
00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:31,802
I've never measured them.

1157
00:54:31,869 --> 00:54:33,404
And meals...

1158
00:54:33,471 --> 00:54:35,706
They've got to be served
on standard-sized tin plates.

1159
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:39,043
I don't believe we have
any tin plates, here, General.

1160
00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:40,745
Then we refuse to move.

1161
00:54:40,811 --> 00:54:43,047
Unless you can convince me
that my men and I

1162
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:44,391
will be treated
according to the regulations,

1163
00:54:44,415 --> 00:54:46,083
I'm not budging one inch!

1164
00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:47,184
Excuse me.

1165
00:54:47,251 --> 00:54:49,153
I see.

1166
00:54:57,695 --> 00:55:00,230
Are you sure you won't have
something to eat, General?

1167
00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:01,966
Only if it's served
on a tin plate.

1168
00:55:02,032 --> 00:55:03,768
Very well.

1169
00:55:03,834 --> 00:55:05,102
Follow me, Gentlemen, will you?

1170
00:55:05,169 --> 00:55:07,137
Men, stand on your rights.

1171
00:55:13,678 --> 00:55:16,213
Well, we'll show them
that they can't--

1172
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,282
Men, where are you?

1173
00:55:18,349 --> 00:55:20,217
Men, men!

1174
00:55:31,496 --> 00:55:32,697
And you?

1175
00:55:32,763 --> 00:55:33,831
No.

1176
00:55:36,401 --> 00:55:38,469
I hope the General's okay.

1177
00:55:39,970 --> 00:55:43,608
[THE RIVER KWAI MARCH PLAYING]

1178
00:55:47,244 --> 00:55:50,381
I showed them.

1179
00:55:50,448 --> 00:55:53,551
No tin plates, eh?

1180
00:55:53,618 --> 00:55:55,686
They had tin plates.

1181
00:56:24,214 --> 00:56:26,116
Here is the news...

1182
00:56:26,183 --> 00:56:28,018
The situation
seems grave tonight,

1183
00:56:28,085 --> 00:56:29,554
and lights are burning late

1184
00:56:29,620 --> 00:56:31,722
in every Chancellery
on the continent of Europe.

1185
00:56:31,789 --> 00:56:33,891
More men are under arms
than ever before

1186
00:56:33,958 --> 00:56:35,893
in the history of the world.

1187
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:37,562
In parliament tonight,

1188
00:56:37,628 --> 00:56:40,030
the Prime Minister said
that Britain and Grand Fenwick

1189
00:56:40,097 --> 00:56:43,033
were united not only
by ties of
language and history,

1190
00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:44,535
but by blood,

1191
00:56:44,602 --> 00:56:46,671
and that it was only
a matter of pure accident

1192
00:56:46,737 --> 00:56:49,540
that the tiny Duchy was not
a member of the Commonwealth.

1193
00:56:49,607 --> 00:56:50,784
Therefore,
her Majesty's Government

1194
00:56:50,808 --> 00:56:52,710
will do all in its power

1195
00:56:52,777 --> 00:56:55,079
to protect the integrity
of this British outpost

1196
00:56:55,145 --> 00:56:56,714
across the Channel.

1197
00:56:56,781 --> 00:57:00,284
There were cheers
from both sides of the House.

1198
00:57:00,350 --> 00:57:01,952
In Paris, the President stated

1199
00:57:02,019 --> 00:57:04,030
that not only was Fenwick
historically a part of France,

1200
00:57:04,054 --> 00:57:06,924
but the interest
of these two wine-loving

1201
00:57:06,991 --> 00:57:09,727
and wine-growing countries
were identical

1202
00:57:09,794 --> 00:57:13,130
and would be maintained
at all costs.

1203
00:57:13,197 --> 00:57:15,700
There were
scenes of excitement
in Moscow tonight,

1204
00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:17,334
where the Premier said

1205
00:57:17,401 --> 00:57:19,841
that although the Soviet Union
had invented
a Q-bomb of its own

1206
00:57:19,870 --> 00:57:21,205
many years ago,

1207
00:57:21,271 --> 00:57:23,240
the peace-loving workers
of the U.S.S.R.

1208
00:57:23,307 --> 00:57:26,644
would do everything necessary
to prevent the Fenwick bomb

1209
00:57:26,711 --> 00:57:28,846
from falling into the greedy,
blood-stained hands

1210
00:57:28,913 --> 00:57:31,582
of the imperialist
war-mongering...

1211
00:57:31,649 --> 00:57:34,151
hyenas.

1212
00:57:34,218 --> 00:57:35,653
In the United States,

1213
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:38,589
the New York Yankees defeated
the Milwaukee Braves 6-2

1214
00:57:38,656 --> 00:57:41,759
in the final game
of the World Series...

1215
00:57:41,826 --> 00:57:43,528
the American version
of football.

1216
00:57:43,594 --> 00:57:45,796
Meanwhile, there is no word
from Grand Fenwick,

1217
00:57:45,863 --> 00:57:48,633
which seems now to control
the destiny of the world.

1218
00:57:48,699 --> 00:57:51,335
The tiny country
apparently remains calm,

1219
00:57:51,401 --> 00:57:54,404
unconcerned,
and indeed almost indifferent

1220
00:57:54,471 --> 00:57:55,806
to the rising tension.

1221
00:58:22,733 --> 00:58:24,769
Sir...

1222
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:37,648
It's from China.

1223
00:58:37,715 --> 00:58:39,316
It says...

1224
00:58:39,383 --> 00:58:40,685
If there is anything we can do

1225
00:58:40,751 --> 00:58:43,253
to help you
against the United States,

1226
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:45,255
please don't hesitate to ask.

1227
00:58:45,322 --> 00:58:46,423
Warmest regards.

1228
00:58:46,490 --> 00:58:48,959
Impossible.

1229
00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:51,328
No matter what,
we simply can't
do business with Red China.

1230
00:58:51,395 --> 00:58:53,731
It's not from Red China.

1231
00:58:53,798 --> 00:58:54,999
It's from the other one.

1232
00:58:55,065 --> 00:58:56,601
Oh.

1233
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:05,475
Well, gentlemen,
we're in trouble.

1234
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,077
Now, what are we going
to do about it?

1235
00:59:07,144 --> 00:59:09,246
Well, I don't know what
all the fuss is about, sir.

1236
00:59:09,313 --> 00:59:11,381
We can take a plane
with 40 paratroops

1237
00:59:11,448 --> 00:59:12,888
over to that little
jerkwater country

1238
00:59:12,950 --> 00:59:14,551
and get that bomb
and this Kokintz out

1239
00:59:14,619 --> 00:59:16,153
before they know
what's hit them.

1240
00:59:16,220 --> 00:59:17,855
General,
it's not quite that simple.

1241
00:59:17,922 --> 00:59:20,891
Admittedly, we are at war
with Grand Fenwick,

1242
00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:22,302
and legally entitled
to attack them,

1243
00:59:22,326 --> 00:59:23,806
but do you want it
recorded in history

1244
00:59:23,861 --> 00:59:25,129
that a Nation of our size

1245
00:59:25,195 --> 00:59:28,298
attacked the smallest
country in the world?

1246
00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:33,170
You know something?
We're stuck.

1247
00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:34,605
We sure are,

1248
00:59:34,672 --> 00:59:36,674
and now the French have
offered eight divisions

1249
00:59:36,741 --> 00:59:38,643
to protect Fenwick from attack,

1250
00:59:38,709 --> 00:59:40,645
the British are considering 14.

1251
00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:42,512
Egypt has offered six

1252
00:59:42,579 --> 00:59:45,049
and a half interest
in the Suez Canal.

1253
00:59:45,115 --> 00:59:47,117
Now, naturally, they all
want to take the bomb home

1254
00:59:47,184 --> 00:59:48,786
for safe keeping.

1255
00:59:48,853 --> 00:59:52,890
Argentina, Brazil, France,
Germany, Italy,

1256
00:59:52,957 --> 00:59:54,091
they all want to help us.

1257
00:59:54,158 --> 00:59:55,425
It's impossible.

1258
00:59:55,492 --> 00:59:56,627
We fought a war and reaped

1259
00:59:56,694 --> 00:59:58,295
as the fruits of victory,
disaster.

1260
00:59:58,362 --> 01:00:00,665
Well, it was all your idea,
Bobo.

1261
01:00:00,731 --> 01:00:02,099
My idea?

1262
01:00:02,166 --> 01:00:05,002
My idea was perfectly sound.

1263
01:00:05,069 --> 01:00:07,638
Only
an imbecile could have won
this war, and he did.

1264
01:00:07,705 --> 01:00:08,806
I know, but he...

1265
01:00:08,873 --> 01:00:11,341
he meant well.

1266
01:00:11,408 --> 01:00:13,811
And the Russians have offered
20 divisions

1267
01:00:13,878 --> 01:00:15,021
and have told Fenwick
they want an answer

1268
01:00:15,045 --> 01:00:16,246
within 48 hours.

1269
01:00:16,313 --> 01:00:17,848
We'll give them 30 divisions.

1270
01:00:17,915 --> 01:00:21,218
General, you don't seem
to appreciate our position.

1271
01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:23,020
We're at war with Fenwick.

1272
01:00:23,087 --> 01:00:26,223
How can we send troops
to protect our enemy?

1273
01:00:26,290 --> 01:00:27,658
Well, you know something?

1274
01:00:27,725 --> 01:00:28,926
We're stuck.

1275
01:00:28,993 --> 01:00:30,560
And as a result,

1276
01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:32,773
we now have this frightful
engine of destruction which,

1277
01:00:32,797 --> 01:00:34,264
at the mere rumbling
of a farm cart,

1278
01:00:34,331 --> 01:00:36,533
can destroy us all
and the rest of
Europe with us.

1279
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,136
As a result,
are we to go to war
with the whole world?

1280
01:00:39,203 --> 01:00:41,414
Oh, I know what our impetuous
young friend,
there, will say...

1281
01:00:41,438 --> 01:00:43,708
Guard our frontiers.

1282
01:00:43,774 --> 01:00:45,575
I say let us give America
the privilege

1283
01:00:45,642 --> 01:00:47,277
of guarding its own frontiers.

1284
01:00:47,344 --> 01:00:49,413
At least they can afford it...

1285
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:50,881
Your Grace,

1286
01:00:50,948 --> 01:00:52,358
we must give them their
bomb back immediately.

1287
01:00:52,382 --> 01:00:54,685
I'm not so sure about that,
Bobo.

1288
01:00:54,752 --> 01:00:56,987
I mean, the Americans
are a wonderful people,

1289
01:00:57,054 --> 01:00:59,656
and perhaps we shouldn't
have taken their bomb.

1290
01:00:59,724 --> 01:01:01,859
Anyway, Bobo,
even if we give
it back to them,

1291
01:01:01,926 --> 01:01:03,493
some other country will go
and invent

1292
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:04,862
a Q-bomb of their own,

1293
01:01:04,929 --> 01:01:07,164
and then we'll have
an X, Y, Zed bomb,

1294
01:01:07,231 --> 01:01:09,767
and someday,
one of them will go off--

1295
01:01:09,834 --> 01:01:11,368
Boom!

1296
01:01:11,435 --> 01:01:13,037
Then what does
your Grace suggest?

1297
01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:14,504
I really don't know,

1298
01:01:14,571 --> 01:01:16,673
but I think we should wait.

1299
01:01:16,741 --> 01:01:19,509
Wait?
Wait for what?

1300
01:01:19,576 --> 01:01:22,612
I don't know, just wait.

1301
01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:24,381
I see.

1302
01:01:24,448 --> 01:01:27,684
Well, in that case, I resign.

1303
01:01:27,752 --> 01:01:29,954
So do I.

1304
01:01:32,923 --> 01:01:35,292
They're all so sensitive.

1305
01:01:36,794 --> 01:01:38,695
Well, Tully...

1306
01:01:38,763 --> 01:01:41,231
I'm afraid you're
Prime Minister now.

1307
01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:43,633
Do try and think of something,
won't you?

1308
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:46,871
Well, I'll do my best,
your Grace.

1309
01:01:46,937 --> 01:01:50,440
There's a good boy.

1310
01:01:50,507 --> 01:01:51,508
Oh, dear, dear...

1311
01:01:51,575 --> 01:01:53,077
It's all so confusing.

1312
01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:57,014
Having the bad conscience
of the world in
one's own home.

1313
01:01:57,081 --> 01:02:00,317
It's very difficult.

1314
01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:03,653
I do wish Leopold were here.

1315
01:02:10,460 --> 01:02:13,998
But we won, didn't we?

1316
01:02:14,064 --> 01:02:17,001
The world isn't
the same anymore.

1317
01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:28,245
Hey, you know something?

1318
01:02:28,312 --> 01:02:29,446
Make peace with them.

1319
01:02:29,513 --> 01:02:30,781
That way we can protect them.

1320
01:02:30,848 --> 01:02:34,418
That's precisely what
the President hoped you'd say,

1321
01:02:34,484 --> 01:02:36,253
but unfortunately,

1322
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,422
the Secretary of State
is still busy in the Far East,

1323
01:02:38,488 --> 01:02:40,090
so it's up to me, I'm afraid,

1324
01:02:40,157 --> 01:02:41,567
so I'll fly over
to Fenwick immediately

1325
01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:42,960
and try to arrange an armistice.

1326
01:02:43,027 --> 01:02:44,161
Agreed?

1327
01:02:44,228 --> 01:02:45,262
Yeah, fine, sure.

1328
01:02:46,463 --> 01:02:48,032
Who is it?

1329
01:02:48,098 --> 01:02:49,233
May we come in?

1330
01:02:49,299 --> 01:02:50,667
No.

1331
01:02:50,734 --> 01:02:51,735
I see you're still angry.

1332
01:02:51,802 --> 01:02:53,403
I'm still a prisoner.

1333
01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:55,248
May I say how much
we both enjoyed your speech

1334
01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:56,340
when you first arrived.

1335
01:02:56,406 --> 01:02:57,474
If you enjoyed it so much,

1336
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:59,176
why didn't you let me finish it?

1337
01:02:59,243 --> 01:03:00,544
Who are you, anyway?

1338
01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:01,979
A friend.

1339
01:03:02,046 --> 01:03:03,389
Count Mountjoy,
Her Grace's chief adviser.

1340
01:03:03,413 --> 01:03:04,614
This is Mr. Benter--

1341
01:03:04,681 --> 01:03:06,150
leader of the loyal opposition.

1342
01:03:06,216 --> 01:03:08,152
What do you want?

1343
01:03:08,218 --> 01:03:11,021
In return,
may I ask what you want?

1344
01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:12,556
I thought I made that clear.

1345
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:14,791
I want to get that
bomb back to America

1346
01:03:14,859 --> 01:03:16,961
and my father
and myself with it.

1347
01:03:17,027 --> 01:03:19,196
And General Snippet
and the policemen as well.

1348
01:03:19,263 --> 01:03:21,098
Why not?

1349
01:03:21,165 --> 01:03:23,133
Hey, whose side are you on?

1350
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:24,401
The side of the sanity.

1351
01:03:24,468 --> 01:03:25,735
In this case, dear lady, yours.

1352
01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:28,405
We see nothing more advantageous

1353
01:03:28,472 --> 01:03:30,512
than your immediate return
to America with the bomb.

1354
01:03:31,408 --> 01:03:32,476
Do you mean that?

1355
01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:33,810
Absolutely...

1356
01:03:33,878 --> 01:03:34,988
We just want
to get out of this mess.

1357
01:03:35,012 --> 01:03:37,381
What have you got in mind?

1358
01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:41,385
Well, we suggest you take
that naughty bomb away,

1359
01:03:41,451 --> 01:03:43,587
and what is more,
we will help you do it.

1360
01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,422
You mean, take it
back to America?

1361
01:03:45,489 --> 01:03:47,191
Yes.

1362
01:03:47,257 --> 01:03:48,993
We shall return for you
within the hour.

1363
01:03:49,059 --> 01:03:50,227
Be prepared to escape.

1364
01:03:50,294 --> 01:03:52,997
Till then, dear lady, adieu.

1365
01:03:53,063 --> 01:03:54,899
Oh, you American women
are so charming...

1366
01:03:54,965 --> 01:03:57,134
So very...charming...

1367
01:03:57,201 --> 01:03:58,835
Look, we've only got an hour.

1368
01:04:00,170 --> 01:04:01,505
Pity...

1369
01:04:36,540 --> 01:04:39,776
[SINGING]

1370
01:04:45,649 --> 01:04:46,716
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

1371
01:04:46,783 --> 01:04:49,319
Who is it?

1372
01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:50,487
[KNOCKS AGAIN]

1373
01:04:50,554 --> 01:04:51,588
Well, come in!

1374
01:04:55,592 --> 01:04:59,029
I'm taking a bath,
so wait out there!

1375
01:04:59,096 --> 01:05:00,697
You're too soon.

1376
01:05:00,764 --> 01:05:02,599
I didn't expect you
for half-an-hour.

1377
01:05:02,666 --> 01:05:04,368
You didn't?

1378
01:05:04,434 --> 01:05:06,736
Who's that?

1379
01:05:06,803 --> 01:05:09,940
It's me, Tully Bascombe,
remember?

1380
01:05:10,007 --> 01:05:11,208
How could I forget?

1381
01:05:11,275 --> 01:05:12,776
What do you want?

1382
01:05:12,842 --> 01:05:15,645
I just want to talk to you
about being friends,

1383
01:05:15,712 --> 01:05:16,913
like you said on the boat.

1384
01:05:16,981 --> 01:05:18,515
That was on the boat.

1385
01:05:18,582 --> 01:05:21,185
You and I can
never be friends.
Goodbye.

1386
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:22,686
You really mean that?

1387
01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:24,088
Yes, I do.

1388
01:05:24,154 --> 01:05:26,456
Get out!

1389
01:05:26,523 --> 01:05:27,724
[SCREAMS]

1390
01:05:30,460 --> 01:05:31,695
You get out of here.

1391
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:32,829
You screamed.

1392
01:05:32,896 --> 01:05:34,298
You keep that on!

1393
01:05:34,364 --> 01:05:35,632
The water was cold.

1394
01:05:35,699 --> 01:05:37,034
How dare you come in here

1395
01:05:37,101 --> 01:05:38,544
when I'm stuck in this
miserable barrel.

1396
01:05:38,568 --> 01:05:41,105
That barrel was made by a very
old firm of barrel makers.

1397
01:05:41,171 --> 01:05:42,572
Who cares?
A barrel is a barrel.

1398
01:05:42,639 --> 01:05:43,807
Now, you get out!

1399
01:05:43,873 --> 01:05:46,443
All right.
I'll wait out there.

1400
01:05:46,510 --> 01:05:48,345
Don't wait.
Come back tomorrow!

1401
01:05:48,412 --> 01:05:50,914
No, I'll just wait,
if you don't mind.

1402
01:06:14,638 --> 01:06:15,839
Guard...

1403
01:06:20,310 --> 01:06:21,678
Do you wish to see
my credentials?

1404
01:06:21,745 --> 01:06:23,656
I've come here to discuss
a very important matter

1405
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:25,382
with the Duchess Gloriana.

1406
01:06:25,449 --> 01:06:27,184
Our orders are
to admit no one, sir.

1407
01:06:27,251 --> 01:06:28,752
But this is very important.

1408
01:06:28,818 --> 01:06:30,420
That's what they all say.

1409
01:06:30,487 --> 01:06:32,489
I've come here to discuss...

1410
01:06:32,556 --> 01:06:34,458
the surrender terms.

1411
01:06:34,524 --> 01:06:37,294
Whose?

1412
01:06:37,361 --> 01:06:38,695
Ours.

1413
01:06:38,762 --> 01:06:40,206
You'll have to wait here
with the others.

1414
01:06:40,230 --> 01:06:41,998
Guard!

1415
01:06:42,066 --> 01:06:44,201
Aggressor!

1416
01:06:45,569 --> 01:06:46,836
We're all told to wait here

1417
01:06:46,903 --> 01:06:48,281
until we're given
permission to enter

1418
01:06:48,305 --> 01:06:50,340
by the freedom-loving
workers of Grand Fenwick.

1419
01:06:50,407 --> 01:06:53,043
Oh, yeah, sure.

1420
01:06:53,110 --> 01:06:56,280
Oh, guard?

1421
01:06:56,346 --> 01:06:57,881
A little caviar, comrade?

1422
01:06:57,947 --> 01:07:00,284
Never touch it.

1423
01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:03,353
Well, General,
we haven't much time.

1424
01:07:03,420 --> 01:07:05,021
Yes, but shouldn't we
have Dr. Kokintz

1425
01:07:05,089 --> 01:07:06,390
disconnect it first?

1426
01:07:06,456 --> 01:07:07,624
We can't find him.

1427
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:08,758
We looked everywhere.

1428
01:07:08,825 --> 01:07:10,094
But I--

1429
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:11,928
Come now, General,
please...General.

1430
01:07:11,995 --> 01:07:14,298
Well, who's going to carry it?

1431
01:07:28,278 --> 01:07:30,314
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

1432
01:07:43,593 --> 01:07:44,661
Shall we?

1433
01:07:46,830 --> 01:07:50,800
* Oopay oopay
Come diddle-dum-day

1434
01:07:50,867 --> 01:07:53,603
* Oopay
Come while ye may, ye may

1435
01:07:53,670 --> 01:07:57,974
* Away, away upon the hay

1436
01:07:58,041 --> 01:08:00,910
* And count them while ye may *

1437
01:08:00,977 --> 01:08:02,612
Look, Bascombe,

1438
01:08:02,679 --> 01:08:03,880
there's no use hanging around.

1439
01:08:03,947 --> 01:08:05,349
I have nothing to say to you,

1440
01:08:05,415 --> 01:08:09,253
so for the last time,
will you please go.

1441
01:08:09,319 --> 01:08:12,156
I see.

1442
01:08:12,222 --> 01:08:14,458
Well...goodbye.

1443
01:08:14,524 --> 01:08:16,960
Goodbye, and if I never see
this antique tourist trap

1444
01:08:17,026 --> 01:08:18,027
of yours again,

1445
01:08:18,094 --> 01:08:19,163
I'll be a happy girl.

1446
01:08:19,229 --> 01:08:20,364
Antique tourist trap?

1447
01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:21,831
You seem to forget
we won the war.

1448
01:08:21,898 --> 01:08:23,032
It was an accident.

1449
01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:24,434
You snuck up on us.

1450
01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:26,078
It was broad daylight.
Everybody was underground.

1451
01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:27,204
Well, anyway, we won.

1452
01:08:27,271 --> 01:08:28,438
We weren't looking.

1453
01:08:28,505 --> 01:08:29,606
And we've got your bomb,

1454
01:08:29,673 --> 01:08:31,016
and there's nothing
you can do about that.

1455
01:08:31,040 --> 01:08:32,509
You stole it.

1456
01:08:32,576 --> 01:08:33,953
Is stealing part of
your primitive culture, too?

1457
01:08:33,977 --> 01:08:35,044
It's captured booty.

1458
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:36,380
It belongs to the United States.

1459
01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:37,514
And you belong to me.

1460
01:08:37,581 --> 01:08:39,048
You're my prisoner.

1461
01:08:51,695 --> 01:08:54,464
Thief...

1462
01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:20,324
Get the car.

1463
01:09:20,390 --> 01:09:21,458
Right.

1464
01:09:23,059 --> 01:09:24,261
Go away.

1465
01:09:24,328 --> 01:09:25,529
It's me.

1466
01:09:34,971 --> 01:09:37,307
Are you sure my father's
waiting with the others?

1467
01:09:37,374 --> 01:09:38,475
Would I lie to you?

1468
01:09:38,542 --> 01:09:40,377
Frankly, yes.
Thank you.

1469
01:09:40,444 --> 01:09:42,087
I promise you he's
waiting with the others.

1470
01:09:42,111 --> 01:09:43,223
Now, please, please, come along.

1471
01:09:43,247 --> 01:09:44,314
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

1472
01:09:44,381 --> 01:09:45,849
Who is it?

1473
01:09:45,915 --> 01:09:48,385
It's me again, Tully.

1474
01:09:48,452 --> 01:09:50,787
You can't come in.
Go away!

1475
01:09:50,854 --> 01:09:53,390
I've just come back
to say that I'm sorry,

1476
01:09:53,457 --> 01:09:56,326
and also that I've thought
the whole thing over,

1477
01:09:56,393 --> 01:09:57,461
and my problem is

1478
01:09:57,527 --> 01:09:58,662
that I love you.

1479
01:09:58,728 --> 01:09:59,763
You do?

1480
01:09:59,829 --> 01:10:01,030
Yes.

1481
01:10:01,097 --> 01:10:02,299
And furthermore Helen,

1482
01:10:02,366 --> 01:10:03,567
I think you love me.

1483
01:10:03,633 --> 01:10:04,634
I do?

1484
01:10:04,701 --> 01:10:05,769
Yes.

1485
01:10:05,835 --> 01:10:07,170
Can I come in now, Helen?

1486
01:10:07,237 --> 01:10:08,605
No, no.

1487
01:10:08,672 --> 01:10:10,316
You just wait there a minute
while I think.

1488
01:10:10,340 --> 01:10:11,420
Well, take your time, then--

1489
01:10:11,475 --> 01:10:12,509
Come along.

1490
01:10:12,576 --> 01:10:13,677
He said he loved me.

1491
01:10:13,743 --> 01:10:14,844
Congratulations.

1492
01:10:14,911 --> 01:10:16,012
I think he means it.

1493
01:10:16,079 --> 01:10:17,414
Yes, he's an idiot.

1494
01:10:17,481 --> 01:10:18,348
Please.
Well,
he's silly, but he's nice.

1495
01:10:18,415 --> 01:10:19,616
Well, write him a letter then.

1496
01:10:19,683 --> 01:10:21,117
I think I've always liked him.

1497
01:10:21,184 --> 01:10:24,321
So have I, my dear,
but please let us go now!

1498
01:10:24,388 --> 01:10:27,291
Where are they?

1499
01:10:27,357 --> 01:10:29,859
Some transportation
you've arranged, I must say.

1500
01:10:29,926 --> 01:10:31,661
It belongs to the Duchess.

1501
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:34,163
I only hope she doesn't
find out, that's all.

1502
01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:35,532
I've got my own worries.

1503
01:10:35,599 --> 01:10:41,170
Helen?

1504
01:10:41,237 --> 01:10:42,739
[KNOCKING]

1505
01:10:45,809 --> 01:10:46,843
Helen?

1506
01:10:49,813 --> 01:10:51,147
Where's my father?

1507
01:10:51,214 --> 01:10:52,416
Yes, where's her father?

1508
01:10:52,482 --> 01:10:53,717
I thought you had him.

1509
01:10:53,783 --> 01:10:55,143
I knew you were a snake,
you snake.

1510
01:10:55,184 --> 01:10:56,629
My dear girl, there's
nothing to worry about.

1511
01:10:56,653 --> 01:10:58,431
We shall look after
your father, I assure you.

1512
01:10:58,455 --> 01:10:59,723
You just get the bomb home,

1513
01:10:59,789 --> 01:11:01,190
and he will be perfectly safe.

1514
01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:02,792
You not only expect me
to leave him,

1515
01:11:02,859 --> 01:11:04,737
but you don't think we'd
try to escape in this thing

1516
01:11:04,761 --> 01:11:06,138
without the bomb
being dismantled, do you?

1517
01:11:06,162 --> 01:11:08,332
Little lady, there is
no time to argue.

1518
01:11:08,398 --> 01:11:09,933
Please go!

1519
01:11:12,035 --> 01:11:15,439
Bon voyage!

1520
01:11:15,505 --> 01:11:17,374
Where do you suppose
the Doctor is, anyway?

1521
01:11:17,441 --> 01:11:19,643
I haven't the faintest idea.

1522
01:11:19,709 --> 01:11:22,379
Helen?

1523
01:11:22,446 --> 01:11:25,515
[ENGINE NOISE]

1524
01:11:30,053 --> 01:11:32,589
My girl and my bomb.

1525
01:11:32,656 --> 01:11:34,324
[EXPLOSION]

1526
01:11:37,594 --> 01:11:38,928
NARRATOR:
Ladies and gentlemen,

1527
01:11:38,995 --> 01:11:40,497
this is not the end of our film.

1528
01:11:40,564 --> 01:11:42,231
However, something
very much like this

1529
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:43,767
could happen at any moment.

1530
01:11:43,833 --> 01:11:45,345
We just thought
we ought to prepare you

1531
01:11:45,369 --> 01:11:49,439
and more or less
put you in the mood.

1532
01:11:49,506 --> 01:11:50,674
Thank you,

1533
01:11:50,740 --> 01:11:52,008
and now, back to our story...

1534
01:11:54,210 --> 01:11:56,346
Five.
I have another throw.

1535
01:11:58,515 --> 01:11:59,916
One. Six.

1536
01:11:59,983 --> 01:12:03,353
One, two, three,
four, five, six.

1537
01:12:03,420 --> 01:12:04,888
I bomb Philadelphia.

1538
01:12:04,954 --> 01:12:06,122
Who owns Philadelphia?

1539
01:12:06,189 --> 01:12:07,424
I do.

1540
01:12:07,491 --> 01:12:10,026
Hah! You owe me 500
heavy bombers.

1541
01:12:10,093 --> 01:12:11,695
Here.

1542
01:12:11,761 --> 01:12:13,797
Now, it's my turn.

1543
01:12:14,564 --> 01:12:15,699
Four.

1544
01:12:15,765 --> 01:12:17,200
One, two, three, four.

1545
01:12:17,266 --> 01:12:19,903
Take a chance.

1546
01:12:19,969 --> 01:12:23,239
"Go to Salt mines."

1547
01:12:23,306 --> 01:12:26,376
Ah, ah. Fortunately,
I can pay a fine, instead.

1548
01:12:28,778 --> 01:12:31,047
I get Saudi Arabia.

1549
01:12:31,114 --> 01:12:32,148
Not a bad game.

1550
01:12:32,215 --> 01:12:33,316
I agree.

1551
01:12:33,383 --> 01:12:34,684
It's called Diplomacy.

1552
01:12:34,751 --> 01:12:36,896
It's my chauffeur's, actually.
Jolly good fun, I think.

1553
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:38,187
My throw?

1554
01:13:00,444 --> 01:13:01,578
[CAR BACKFIRING]

1555
01:13:01,645 --> 01:13:03,012
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

1556
01:13:03,079 --> 01:13:04,280
[CAR BACKFIRING]

1557
01:13:04,347 --> 01:13:05,449
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

1558
01:13:05,515 --> 01:13:06,683
Stop it, you idiot!

1559
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:09,986
[CAR BACKFIRING]

1560
01:13:10,053 --> 01:13:11,455
Stop it!

1561
01:13:11,521 --> 01:13:14,123
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

1562
01:13:16,092 --> 01:13:17,927
[NORMAL BOMB SOUND RESUMES]

1563
01:13:17,994 --> 01:13:20,597
Fix the car, you idiot!

1564
01:13:20,664 --> 01:13:23,132
Don't you think you ought
to hold this for a while?

1565
01:13:23,199 --> 01:13:24,400
After all, it's your father's.

1566
01:13:24,468 --> 01:13:28,071
Oh, no, not me.
I'm only a girl.

1567
01:13:37,847 --> 01:13:39,148
Hurry it up, boys.

1568
01:13:39,215 --> 01:13:41,217
Gently

1569
01:13:59,869 --> 01:14:02,739
[CAR HONKING]

1570
01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:09,078
Hey! Helen!

1571
01:14:09,145 --> 01:14:12,649
Tully! Tully!
Helen!

1572
01:14:12,716 --> 01:14:14,751
Helen!

1573
01:14:36,740 --> 01:14:38,875
[CAR BACKFIRING REPEATEDLY]

1574
01:14:52,388 --> 01:14:53,657
Be careful!

1575
01:14:53,723 --> 01:14:54,858
Stop that!

1576
01:14:54,924 --> 01:14:58,027
What's the matter now?

1577
01:14:58,094 --> 01:14:59,563
It won't make the hill.

1578
01:14:59,629 --> 01:15:00,830
Well, do something.

1579
01:15:00,897 --> 01:15:04,100
Get out and push!

1580
01:15:07,571 --> 01:15:10,674
Now, don't jerk it.

1581
01:15:13,042 --> 01:15:15,712
Steady...

1582
01:15:15,779 --> 01:15:17,814
Put some weight behind it.

1583
01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:24,487
Easy, boys.

1584
01:15:32,361 --> 01:15:35,464
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

1585
01:15:54,117 --> 01:15:55,451
[BOMB WARNING SOUNDING]

1586
01:16:02,926 --> 01:16:06,562
A car just ran
into that haystack.

1587
01:16:06,630 --> 01:16:07,997
By jove.

1588
01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:09,332
Hurry up, you guys.

1589
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:11,668
Come on, let's get him
out of there!

1590
01:16:11,735 --> 01:16:12,969
General Snippet!

1591
01:16:13,036 --> 01:16:14,103
General, are you all right?

1592
01:16:20,209 --> 01:16:21,377
Come on, hurry up.

1593
01:16:21,444 --> 01:16:23,780
General Snippet,
are you all right?

1594
01:16:23,847 --> 01:16:24,990
[NEW BOMB ALARM
RINGING LOUDLY]

1595
01:16:25,014 --> 01:16:26,015
The bomb!
It's going off!

1596
01:16:26,082 --> 01:16:27,751
Let's get going!

1597
01:16:28,752 --> 01:16:29,953
Get out of here.

1598
01:16:38,862 --> 01:16:41,197
[BOMB ALARM
GETTING LOUDER AND FASTER]

1599
01:16:52,942 --> 01:16:54,343
Tully!

1600
01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:59,983
[BOMB ALARM SHRIEKING]

1601
01:17:03,052 --> 01:17:06,289
[BOMB ALARM STOPS
AND NORMAL BOMB SOUND RESUMES]

1602
01:17:23,973 --> 01:17:25,374
Well, I'm ready.

1603
01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:34,250
Well, sir, I've never been
a Prime Minister before,

1604
01:17:34,317 --> 01:17:37,186
and, um...uh...

1605
01:17:37,253 --> 01:17:40,589
Anyway, er, Point one...

1606
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:43,159
The California wine
must go off the market,

1607
01:17:43,226 --> 01:17:44,794
and we go back
to business as usual.

1608
01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:46,395
Do you want that
in the Peace Treaty?

1609
01:17:46,462 --> 01:17:47,596
Oh, yes, sir.

1610
01:17:47,663 --> 01:17:48,865
We want that in the treaty,

1611
01:17:48,932 --> 01:17:50,166
and we want a million dollars.

1612
01:17:50,233 --> 01:17:51,534
You mean a billion dollars?

1613
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:52,969
No, sir, no, just--
just a million.

1614
01:17:53,036 --> 01:17:55,538
You can't expect us
to give you a measly million?

1615
01:17:55,604 --> 01:17:58,107
That's less than we spent
in Germany on one city alone.

1616
01:17:58,174 --> 01:17:59,876
Yes, but you see,
sir, they lost.

1617
01:17:59,943 --> 01:18:01,553
Well, I can't promise
to get that through.

1618
01:18:01,577 --> 01:18:02,912
You may have to take a billion.

1619
01:18:02,979 --> 01:18:06,215
Well, if you could try, sir.

1620
01:18:06,282 --> 01:18:08,684
And we'd like some of that
to be in the form of bathtubs

1621
01:18:08,752 --> 01:18:10,219
and other plumbing equipment.

1622
01:18:10,286 --> 01:18:11,396
That's right, Helen, isn't it?

1623
01:18:11,420 --> 01:18:12,688
Yes, dear.

1624
01:18:12,756 --> 01:18:15,658
Yes. We're going
to be married, sir.

1625
01:18:15,725 --> 01:18:16,893
Congratulations.
Thank you.

1626
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:18,061
Thank you, sir.

1627
01:18:18,127 --> 01:18:20,096
Now, then, what about the bomb?

1628
01:18:20,163 --> 01:18:23,666
Well, er, the bomb stays here,

1629
01:18:23,733 --> 01:18:25,234
and Dr. Kokintz, too...

1630
01:18:25,301 --> 01:18:27,403
We want him to develop
a chewing gum

1631
01:18:27,470 --> 01:18:29,172
with a Pinot Grand Fenwick
flavor

1632
01:18:29,238 --> 01:18:32,541
which, naturally, we expect
to export to
the United States.

1633
01:18:32,608 --> 01:18:34,787
Well,
do you want me to include
that in the Peace Treaty?

1634
01:18:34,811 --> 01:18:36,079
Absolutely.

1635
01:18:36,145 --> 01:18:37,046
Oh, yes, that--
That must all be in.

1636
01:18:37,113 --> 01:18:38,247
Very well.

1637
01:18:38,314 --> 01:18:39,324
But now, what about the bomb?

1638
01:18:39,348 --> 01:18:40,616
Surely you realize

1639
01:18:40,683 --> 01:18:43,086
that you can't
keep it indefinitely.

1640
01:18:43,152 --> 01:18:46,489
Well, sir,
we'd like your President,

1641
01:18:46,555 --> 01:18:47,991
who we admire very much

1642
01:18:48,057 --> 01:18:50,326
to try and persuade
the United Nations

1643
01:18:50,393 --> 01:18:52,095
to let the little countries
of the world

1644
01:18:52,161 --> 01:18:53,329
look after the bomb.

1645
01:18:53,396 --> 01:18:54,764
We want a general disarmament,

1646
01:18:54,831 --> 01:18:57,333
and we want this league
of little nations

1647
01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:58,802
to be in charge
of the inspection,

1648
01:18:58,868 --> 01:19:00,412
to see that it all
goes through smoothly.

1649
01:19:00,436 --> 01:19:01,604
You know.

1650
01:19:01,670 --> 01:19:03,039
I see...I think.

1651
01:19:03,106 --> 01:19:05,674
But, look, what you're
proposing isn't new.

1652
01:19:05,741 --> 01:19:07,811
Everybody's been crying
for disarmament for years,

1653
01:19:07,877 --> 01:19:09,378
and nothing happened.

1654
01:19:09,445 --> 01:19:10,856
What are you offering
the big nations of the world

1655
01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:12,115
in return for their arms?

1656
01:19:12,181 --> 01:19:14,350
Well, sir, we offer them trust.

1657
01:19:14,417 --> 01:19:16,519
You see,
they can't agree on anything,

1658
01:19:16,585 --> 01:19:19,522
because they all
suspect each other.

1659
01:19:19,588 --> 01:19:21,290
I think we all hoped
things would be better

1660
01:19:21,357 --> 01:19:22,959
after the last war, but...

1661
01:19:23,026 --> 01:19:26,195
in many ways they're worse,
all these bombs and things.

1662
01:19:26,262 --> 01:19:27,797
Well, do you really believe

1663
01:19:27,864 --> 01:19:29,398
that the big nations
are going to trust

1664
01:19:29,465 --> 01:19:30,967
a group of small neutral nations

1665
01:19:31,034 --> 01:19:32,594
to set up a disarmament
policy for them?

1666
01:19:32,635 --> 01:19:34,838
Do you think they'll
agree to that?

1667
01:19:34,904 --> 01:19:37,573
Well, I hope so, sir,
because if they don't,

1668
01:19:37,640 --> 01:19:39,508
we'll just have
to explode the bomb.

1669
01:19:39,575 --> 01:19:42,111
But you'd all be blown up, too.

1670
01:19:42,178 --> 01:19:43,412
You see, Mr. Secretary...

1671
01:19:43,479 --> 01:19:45,882
if there were to be
an atomic war,

1672
01:19:45,949 --> 01:19:47,316
Fenwick
would be destroyed anyway.

1673
01:19:47,383 --> 01:19:48,584
The way things are

1674
01:19:48,651 --> 01:19:50,119
we're just prolonging the agony,

1675
01:19:50,186 --> 01:19:51,320
aren't we?

1676
01:19:51,387 --> 01:19:52,922
I see what you mean.

1677
01:19:52,989 --> 01:19:54,824
Well, America wants
nothing more than peace,

1678
01:19:54,891 --> 01:19:56,292
always has.

1679
01:19:56,359 --> 01:19:58,161
I'll do my very best,
and for all our sakes,

1680
01:19:58,227 --> 01:19:59,362
I hope you make it.

1681
01:19:59,428 --> 01:20:00,629
Thank you.

1682
01:20:00,696 --> 01:20:02,665
It was awfully nice of you
to come.

1683
01:20:02,731 --> 01:20:06,602
You'll be escorted
back to the border.

1684
01:20:06,669 --> 01:20:09,005
Do give my love
to your President, will you?

1685
01:20:09,072 --> 01:20:11,074
And Mrs. Coolidge, too.

1686
01:20:14,878 --> 01:20:16,312
You Highness, please

1687
01:20:16,379 --> 01:20:17,689
Excuse me, this
is most important.

1688
01:20:17,713 --> 01:20:19,515
The bomb has had
such a shaking up,

1689
01:20:19,582 --> 01:20:21,717
I think it better
I give it a good look,

1690
01:20:21,784 --> 01:20:22,818
as soon as possible.

1691
01:20:22,886 --> 01:20:23,987
In fact, now.

1692
01:20:24,053 --> 01:20:25,288
Yes, I do think Papa's right.

1693
01:20:25,354 --> 01:20:28,591
Yes, well, do be careful,
won't you Papa?

1694
01:20:54,750 --> 01:20:56,719
Thank you.

1695
01:20:56,785 --> 01:20:58,154
[BOMB ALARM SOUNDING]

1696
01:21:31,287 --> 01:21:34,023
["BOING" FROM INSIDE BOMB]

1697
01:21:37,593 --> 01:21:39,595
You are a dud?

1698
01:21:42,398 --> 01:21:45,268
All the time, it was a dud...

1699
01:21:45,334 --> 01:21:46,970
Remarkable.

1700
01:21:47,036 --> 01:21:48,504
Congratulations.

1701
01:21:48,571 --> 01:21:50,606
Papa, I'm proud of you.

1702
01:22:00,316 --> 01:22:02,285
Shh.

1703
01:22:02,351 --> 01:22:04,420
Only we know.

1704
01:22:17,533 --> 01:22:19,335
Oh, how's the bomb getting on?

1705
01:22:19,402 --> 01:22:20,769
Never better, Will.

1706
01:22:20,836 --> 01:22:22,005
Oh, fine. Fine.

1707
01:22:22,071 --> 01:22:23,239
All right, carry on.