[Hedda] Yes, darling. This is Hedda.
But may I call you back?
We're getting ready to announce our Good Cavekeeping Contest winner.
You are a darling, darling. Toodle-oo.
- [bird cawing] - Now, darling.
Careful, sister.
As I was saying, you're sure this Flintstone girl is the one we want?
Well, the staff agreed. She's our first choice.
In a way, she's like you, Ms. Rocker.
Efficient but very feminine.
[theme music playing]
[screeches]
Yabba-dabba-doo!
♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern Stone Age family ♪
♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪
♪ Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪
♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪
♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, A dabba-doo time ♪
♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪
[crashing]
[Barney] Yes, sirree, Fred.
The best part of going to work every day is coming home every night, right?
Right, Barn.
The wife waiting with the slippers, the fire lit, oh, it's great.
- No king had it as good as we do. - You can say that again.
- Good night, Barney. - Good night, Fred.
Ah, my castle.
Light the candles, Wilma, your king is home.
Hi, Fred. Clean your hands and wash your face, change your shirt and comb your hair.
Hold it, Mrs. F.
Because you go to so much trouble for me and keep such a beautiful home,
I am going to reward you. Here's a kiss.
Careful, Fred, you'll... Oh! wrinkle my apron.
Huh?
- You like the flowers here, Fred? - I don't know, Wilma.
- What a reception for a king. - Don't sit there.
What's the matter? What's the matter?
I just fluffed the pillows, you'll make a dent.
A man's house is his castle. Ha! Some castle.
Fred, get off the floor. I just cleaned it.
If this is a king's life, where do I abdicate?
Fred, will you please get washed up?
What is going on here, Wilma? Where's Pebbles, or Dino?
I sent them over to Betty's while I finish dusting.
[sneezes]
She knows I'm allergic to dust.
You sent Dino and Pebbles over to Betty? Why?
- So we can be alone for a while. - Oh, you romantic little devil.
- So it's just you and me tonight, huh? - No, Fred.
It's me, and the judges from Good Cavekeeping Magazine.
What?
I'm one of the finalists in their Housewife of the Year Contest.
So that's what this is all for.
I'm playing second fiddle to a ladies' magazine. [groans]
Fred, please, keep out of the way. The committee will be here any minute.
Boy, Wilma, I don't know about housewife,
but if they're looking for Fishwife of the Year, you got my vote.
I'm going out to eat.
Oh. Oh, Fred, I'm sorry.
It's just that I'm so nervous. Five hundred dollars is a lot of money.
Five hundred bucks?
That's first prize, plus a week's vacation in Rock Vegas for two.
Just for being a housewife?
For being the perfect housewife. You'll help, won't you, dear?
Fred, what are you doing?
You got to be careful, Wilma. You'll wrinkle your apron.
The judges from Good Cavekeeping are coming.
Oh, you have a charming home, my dear.
Thank you. Have another hors d'oeuvre?
[woman 2] Oh, no, thank you, Mrs. Flintstone. I'm afraid I've had too many.
And those peanut butter sandwiches were delicious.
[woman 1] I can see by Mr. Flintstone's waistline that you're a wonderful cook.
[woman 2] Yes. He does look well-fed, doesn't he?
Mother always said, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
How true.
And what's more, a fat husband is a jolly husband.
Right, Mr. Flintstone?
[women laughing]
[groaning]
Oh, I'm glad to see you're an old-fashioned girl, Mrs. Flintstone.
Oh, so am I.
Most of our young cavewomen today want careers.
They aren't happy just staying home and keeping house.
Well, I am.
Besides, Fred wouldn't have it any other way. Would you, dear?
Nope, I don't go for these smart, efficient women.
I like them like Wilma here, cute and helpless.
Helpless?
When a man gets married, he's supposed to do the work.
The little woman stays home and takes it easy.
Takes it easy?
Well, we must be going.
It's been lovely meeting you. You'll be hearing from us.
And, Mr. Flintstone, watch that waistline. [laughs]
[laughs mockingly]
She should talk about weight.
I saw a brontosaurus take first in its class with a better shape than hers.
Fred, do you think what I do around here all day is easy?
Oh, sweetheart, I wasn't criticizing.
You keep a neat house, and you're a perfect mother.
I don't want you to work.
- [Betty] Hi, Wilma. - [Barney] Hiya, Fred.
We saw the committee leave. How did it go, Wilma?
[Wilma] Well, they learned about me, and I learned about Fred.
[both babbling]
Pebbles. There's my little Pebbly-poo.
Come to your daddy, my precious little baby.
- Coochie-coochie-coo. - [Pebbles laughing]
He likes his women cute and helpless.
Who doesn't, Wilma? That's the best way. [chuckles]
Barney, what do you think Betty does all day?
Gee, uh, I don't know. Fools around, I guess.
You heard him, Betty.
Your husband thinks you fool around all day. So does mine.
Ha! They should change places with us and see who fools around.
Hey, Bamm-Bamm, put that down. Hey, uh, you better look at your son.
[Betty] He's always my son when he's naughty.
Bamm-Bamm, put that TV set back.
- Barney, you'd better put it back. - Yeah, okay, Betty.
Isn't that cute? He brought it over, so Pebbles can watch it.
[babbling]
[grunting]
I can't even move it.
[Bamm-Bamm babbles]
[Fred] Oh, boy, is that kid powerful.
[Barney] Yeah, I'm sure glad he's on our side.
Well, Barney, do you think keeping up with Bamm-Bamm is easy?
Not to speak of washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning.
Hey, uh, what's eating you, Wilma?
[Fred] Aw, it's something I said before, Barney.
I didn't mean you were playing, exactly, Wilma.
But I'm not working, is that it?
Well, no. Uh, I mean, not a real job.
You think your job is harder than mine, huh?
[Fred] Are you kidding or something, Wilma?
[Wilma] I say my job is harder work. Much harder.
Oh, Wilma, you're being ridiculous.
Prove it. I dare you to change jobs with me for one day.
[laughs] Oh, for Pete's sake.
What do you know about working in a quarry?
Nothing.
But I'll bet you breakfast in bed for a week that it's easier than working here.
Okay, Wilma, I think you're wacky,
but if you really want to go through with it, you are on.
All right, I'll give you my schedule. Promise me you'll follow it exactly?
Yes, dear. [laughs]
Barney, isn't she cute? A schedule for housework.
Can you imagine that?
All right, Fred, here's your schedule.
Boy, that's some list. You, uh, sure you can handle all that, Fred?
Are you kidding?
Tomorrow is going to be like taking the day off.
I'm gonna sleep all afternoon.
[laughing]
[ringing]
Watch it, buster!
Wilma, get up.
Not until breakfast is ready, dear.
And just where are you planning to cook breakfast?
Under the blankets?
I'm not cooking it, darling. You are, remember?
Oh. Oh! Oh, yeah. Yeah, today's my day off.
Okay, Wilma, breakfast in 20 minutes.
Now this is what I call a breakfast.
Mountain goat-meal, brontosausages, and eggs,
French toast with cactus berry jelly.
- Mm. - Wilma?
Hm?
I slave over a hot stove, and you don't say a word.
Wilma, talk to me.
Um, amalgamated rocks are up 10 points.
No.
Pebbles will appreciate her daddy's cooking.
Here's your breakfast, Pebbles, sweetheart.
No. No. No.
Well, so long, Fred. See you after work.
Hey, Wilma, wait. Why isn't Pebbles eating?
Because she's a baby, not a truck driver.
You have to cook her baby food and cereal. It's on the schedule, remember?
Oh. Oh, yeah, the schedule.
[Pebbles wailing]
Better hurry it up, she's hungry.
Daddy will have it in a jiffy, Pebbles.
[growling]
- Haven't you fed Dino, yet? - [thuds]
[growling]
Goodness, you are behind.
- [growling continues] - [telephone rings]
Wilma, the phone is ringing.
It's for you, dear.
You're head of the telephone committee this morning.
They will be checking in with you all day.
Who will be doing what?
The Ladies Auxiliary Committee.
It's all on the schedule. Enjoy your day off.
I will. And don't work too hard at the quarry.
A helpless, cute little girl like me? [laughs] I wouldn't know how.
Have fun. Bye.
[Pebbles wailing]
- Coming, Pebbles. Okay, Dino. - [growling]
Look out below!
Not bad, Wilma. Drop it in the pit next time.
Got you, Charlie.
[laughs] Poor Fred. I really got the best of this deal. This is fun.
Look out below!
In the pit, Wilma, the pit!
- Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie. - What's going on here?
- Oh, hello, boss. - Who is that?
Flintstone was sick, so his wife came down to take his place.
- What? - Yup. That's Wilma.
[Wilma] Right, Charlie.
Now, just a minute, Mrs. Flintstone.
[Wilma] Look out below!
[Slate yelling indistinctly]
You need a little more practice, Wilma. See you around.
[whistle blows]
Lunchtime already? Gee, the time went fast.
Oh, and I must call Fred.
- Thanks, Hugo. - Mrs. Flintstone.
Hi, Mr. Slate. Gee, what's wrong?
You look like you just crawled out from under a rock.
[groaning and yelling indistinctly]
Oh, excuse me, Mr. Slate.
I'd like to chat, but pity the poor working girl.
I've got to make a call, eat lunch, and get back on the job.
I got to get the dishes stacked, put the cake in the oven,
close the door. I better check the list.
Iron Fred's clothes. Oh, I'm behind schedule.
Easy does it.
Might as well do them all at once and save time.
[telephone rings] - Oh, no. Not the phone again.
[panting] Hello?
[Wilma] Fred?
You sound out of breath. Is anything wrong?
Oh, of course not.
- Everything's just fine. - [crashing]
Fred, what happened?
[stammering] Oh, that? Nothing, dear. That was, uh, the TV.
One of those old Western movies. You know how noisy they are.
Better turn it off, Fred. Loud noises will make the cake drop.
Okay, Wilma. I'll do that. Goodbye.
The cake. The cake.
Oh, swell, it dropped all right.
[Pebbles wailing]
Pebbles!
Don't cry, sweetheart. It's just a few dishes.
There, there. Easy, Pebbles, baby.
Oh, you'd think the house was burning down. There now...
[sniffing]
Burning?
Burning! Oh, no!
[wailing]
Wilma!
- Here, I'll get it for you. - No, let me.
You're doing it all wrong.
What's the meaning of this?
Scram, fellas. It's the boss.
It's past lunchtime. Now get back to work, you guys.
Hello, Mr. Slate.
My lunch pail got stuck and the boys were trying to help me open it.
Wasn't that nice?
My, how chivalrous.
There will be openings around here, all right.
Job openings!
I'm sorry, Mr. Slate. I won't let it happen again.
Wait, Mrs. Flintstone. I want to talk to you.
Haven't time, Mr. Slate. Got a job to do, you know.
[groaning, then yelling indistinctly]
Four o'clock. Start dinner.
Maybe Wilma won't mind cleaning up this mess
once she's had a sample of my brontosaurus stroganoff.
Let's see, now.
First, I make the rice.
I wonder how much you need for two people?
That doesn't look like enough. I'd better use the whole box.
There, that should do it.
You come with me, Pebbles,
and Daddy will get the gardening done while that rice is cooking.
Having fun, Pebbles?
[babbling]
Ready, Charlie?
[Charlie] All right now, Wilma, put it in the old bull's-eye.
Hold it, Charlie.
Tell Mrs. Flintstone I want to talk to her right now.
- Okay, boss. Hey, Wilma, the...! - Right, Charlie! Right on the old button!
Mrs. Flintstone, I want a word with you!
[Wilma] Look out below!
- How was that, Charlie? - [groans]
Mrs. Flintstone!
Mr. Slate. Oh, are you all right?
Go home, Mrs. Flintstone.
Go home! Go home!
[Barney] Hiya, Fred. How you doing?
Barney, what are you doing here? Why aren't you working?
Oh, I left early. I thought you might be needing some help by now.
You sound like Wilma. There's nothing to this job, Barney.
Anyone can do 45 or 50 things in one day, if they're organized.
- And I am organized. - That a boy, Fred.
I am now an expert at housework.
Any questions you want answered? Just ask me.
Okay, uh, how come it's snowing in your back yard?
What?
I just walked through your back yard, and it's snowing.
Barney, don't be so dumb. Look at this beautiful, sunny day.
Now, how can it be snowing in my back yard?
I don't know, but I wouldn't go back there without a shovel.
[Fred] Oh, no!
You see, Fred, I told you so.
Yeah, I see. I see, Barney, I see.
It's the rice. I left it cooking too long.
- [telephone ringing] - That must be Wilma. Hello?
Fred, how's it going? Is everything all right?
Oh, everything's dandy, just dandy. Are you ready to give up, Wilma?
Are you coming home?
Huh? Huh? Are you? Are you, huh?
No, Fred, as long as everything's all right.
Betty and I are going to eat dinner downtown and go to a movie.
You see, uh, I did such a good job that Mr. Slate gave me the rest of the day off.
He gave you the rest of the day off?
Yes, wasn't that sweet of him?
Well, I'm leaving here now, Fred. See you later. Bye.
Bye, Wilma.
Barney, help me shovel this rice out. Wilma isn't coming home for dinner, anyway.
Oh, sure, Fred.
But, uh, how about calling the Red Cross? This place sure looks like a disaster area.
Wilma was absolutely right.
Housework is harder, and I'm gonna tell her so.
Yep, it couldn't be any worse.
Yep, it couldn't be any worse if I'd have had the whole Lodge in here,
playing poker all night.
Hey, Barney, did you hear what I just said?
Yep, it couldn't be any worse. But I said it first, Fred.
Not that, you dummy, about playing poker.
Wilma and Betty aren't coming home until late.
And any guy who works as hard as I do deserves a little relaxation, right?
Right, Fred. You call the guys.
I'll get a sitter over at my house to stay with the kids.
- Raise. - And I raise you.
- I call. - And I think I'll have a sandwich.
Yeah, sure, help yourself, Joe.
- [Joe] Boy, Fred, this place is a mess. - [laughs] Oh, don't worry about it.
- Wilma will get it when she gets home. - Yeah. [laughs]
Nothing like having a little housewife to clean up around the house, eh, Fred?
[Fred laughing]
[ringing]
[Fred] Oh, deal me out while I answer that, fellas.
- Hello? - [woman] Hello, Mr. Flintstone.
- This is Hedda Rocker speaking. - [Fred speaks indistinctly]
Hedda Rocker, darling.
I'm the editor of Good Cavekeeping Magazine.
Oh, well, Wilma isn't...
That's all right, darling. You don't have to call her.
Just tell her to look pretty. I'll be over in 20 minutes.
I'm bringing a photographer.
Twenty minutes, I'll tell her. Bye.
She won! Oh, boy, 500 bucks! A trip to Rock Vegas!
[stammering] What? Who was that, Fred?
Oh, just the editor of the magazine that's running the contest Wilma entered.
She's gonna be here in 20 minutes.
Twenty minutes! She can't! Barney, check all the movies. Get Wilma!
Oh, well, there isn't time, Fred.
Why is she coming now in the middle of our game?
This must be the final judging.
She probably has to make her decision right now.
Oh, if I blow this, Wilma will kill me.
Now hear this, Lodge brothers! This is red light!
Repeat. Red light!
We got to get this place spotless, and I do mean now!
Barney, you know how to make hors d'oeuvres?
I don't know. Uh, what are they?
- Those fancy little things ladies go for. - [Barney] Uh, check.
I'll set up an auxiliary kitchen, and I'll make some.
You can depend on me, Fred.
Joe, do you still have that costume I wore at the Lodge show?
Sure. Sure, I'll get it, buddy.
Okay, you guys, let's dig in!
I got 20 minutes to become Housewife of the Year!
Faster, guys, faster!
- I hope you brought plenty of film. - Right, boss.
They tell me she's a pretty little thing.
Let's catch an informal shot of her as she opens the door.
- Check, boss. I'm all set. - [buzzes]
[Fred in high-pitched voice] Coming, Miss Rocker.
Hello, there. Won't you come in?
[Hedda] Oh, thank you, darling.
That pretty little thing is the homeliest dame I ever saw in my life.
- You look charming, my dear. - Oh, thank you so much.
You have a darling home here. You've done so much with it.
[in normal voice] You can say that again.
[in high-pitched voice] I mean, won't you sit down?
[Hedda] Thank you, darling.
You're a charming hostess.
- [clattering] - What was that?
Uh, that was my dog, Dino.
When he crunches a good bone, you can hear him for a mile.
I got some shots of the house, Miss Rocker. What next?
Just sit down, Flash, while we chat a bit.
[Fred] Don't sit there!
I mean, try this! It's much more comfortable!
- Huh? - Here, let me help you.
Now you two sit right here and be cozy. I'll bring some refreshments.
Boy, that is one weird dame.
But you know something. I wish I had a wife with muscles like that.
Oh, uh, Fred said to make some hors d'oeuvres.
But, uh, what can I use to spread on crackers?
Hm. That's not bad.
I think I just saw another can of Dino's dog food up here in the cupboard.
I'll have the hors d'oeuvres for us in a minute.
Uh, now we'll just add a little Tabasco and a lot of chili,
and then I'll add some, uh, cactus salt.
[Hedda] You're such a delightful hostess, but you shouldn't fuss so, darling.
Believe me, it's no trouble at all.
- Hors d'oeuvres coming up! - Uh-oh. That's my cue.
Here we are.
[Hedda] I don't know how you do it, Wilma.
You're amazing.
Please, Miss Rocker, try one. You'll find them delicious, I hope.
My, they're marvelous. What are they?
[stammering] Oh, uh... an old family recipe. Uh, they're called Barney's best.
How exotic.
As Good Cavekeeping's Housewife of the Year,
you're going to have to share these recipes.
[in normal voice] You mean Wilma wins? [in high-pitched voice] I mean, I win?
I made my decision when I walked into this spotless house.
Congratulations, my dear. What are you doing?
[in normal voice] Five hundred bucks! A trip to Rock Vegas!
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Wilma, control yourself, darling.
[in high-pitched voice]
- I'm sorry. It's just that you've made me so happy.
Hold that pose. The powerhouse Wife of the Year.
Good morning, Wilma. Breakfast is served.
Good morning, Fred. Oh, that looks lovely.
Nothing's too good for the Housewife of the Year.
[chuckles] It's lucky the people at Good Cavekeeping have a sense of humor.
[laughs] Well, after I confessed, they said they were going to give it to you,
even if you hadn't been home last night.
I mean, if I hadn't.
Well, uh, anyway, you earned it.
Believe me, now that I know how tough your job is,
I wouldn't have it for anything.
Your turn now, Fred.
Thank you, sweetheart.
And now that I know how tough your job is, I'm happy with my job.
- Here's your breakfast, dear. - Oh, boy.
- We're lucky, you know it? - Mm-hm. Because we've got each other.
Not to mention $500 and a trip to Rock Vegas.
Oh, it's so exciting. Is there anything about it in the paper this morning?
- Well, um, I... - Let's see.
- [stammering] Oh, it's just a picture. - Well, I want to see it.
I better warn you, Wilma. It's not too flattering.
Let's see it.
Oh, no!
They didn't have time to cancel the picture, Wilma.
I'm going to be the laughingstock of this town, Fred Flintstone.
You... You sure could use a good permanent.
[both laughing]
You know something, Wilma? You are one good kid.
What a picture!
[laughing continues]
♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern Stone Age family ♪
♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪
♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪
♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪
♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, A dabba-doo time ♪
♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪
Wilma!