1 00:01:15,854 --> 00:01:17,663 Subtitles By: MightyMike77020. 2 00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:20,730 And in remote outer reaches of the universe, 3 00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:22,831 past civilizations as we know it, 4 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:25,732 is a galactic system called, the Milky Way. 5 00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:28,433 Now this minor galaxy 6 00:01:28,434 --> 00:01:30,734 contains in its backwards area. 7 00:01:30,735 --> 00:01:33,335 A rather piddling star 8 00:01:33,336 --> 00:01:34,736 known as: The Sun. 9 00:01:35,117 --> 00:01:38,180 With a really pitiful array of planets. 10 00:01:39,837 --> 00:01:42,337 So much for our lesson in space geography. 11 00:01:42,339 --> 00:01:44,339 And I hope you all took notes. 12 00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:47,440 They'll be a test first thing in the century, now then... 13 00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:51,441 Where is he? 14 00:01:52,742 --> 00:01:55,142 Well, speak up. Where is Kreton? 15 00:01:55,143 --> 00:01:58,143 During recess, I saw him kick the ball over Cloud 9. 16 00:01:58,144 --> 00:01:59,344 On purpose. 17 00:01:59,345 --> 00:02:01,645 He said he'll be right back Mr. Delton. 18 00:02:01,646 --> 00:02:02,846 He better be. 19 00:02:04,147 --> 00:02:05,947 I wonder if he's headed... 20 00:02:06,515 --> 00:02:09,581 There again! Oh, no. 21 00:02:28,049 --> 00:02:29,899 That's Kreton, all right. 22 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,749 Goofiest driver in the whole school. 23 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:33,681 Kreton. 24 00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:36,135 Uh-uh, mustn't touch. 25 00:02:47,951 --> 00:02:50,551 Let's go buster, back here where you belong. 26 00:03:01,052 --> 00:03:03,152 - It's him. - It's he. 27 00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:11,153 All right young man, I know you're there, come out. 28 00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,454 Why don't you come in? 29 00:03:12,455 --> 00:03:15,155 Because I'm the teacher and I said, come out. 30 00:03:15,156 --> 00:03:17,456 Well, I did mean any harm, Mr. Delton. 31 00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:19,357 You see, Mr. Delton? I found my ball. 32 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,158 - I'll get it. - Oh, no you don't. 33 00:03:22,659 --> 00:03:27,159 Young man, you and I are going to have a little heart to heart talk. 34 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,860 Back to your seats all of you. 35 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,409 Not you. 36 00:03:31,262 --> 00:03:32,562 Now then… 37 00:03:32,563 --> 00:03:35,513 you know perfectly well you've been forbidden to visit, 38 00:03:35,514 --> 00:03:38,463 that odious little planetoid in the solar system. 39 00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:40,764 But Mr. Delton, earth isn't a planetoid, 40 00:03:40,765 --> 00:03:43,965 it's a full grown planet, it has six continents, five oceans, 2 moons... 41 00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,666 - One moon. - One moon? 42 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,067 Well, anyhow, it's my hobby, 43 00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:50,868 you see, as I calculate, right now down there, 44 00:03:50,869 --> 00:03:53,269 they're having a very interesting period: The civil war. 45 00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,671 Well gee whiz, Mr. Dalton. Every guy should have a hobby. 46 00:03:55,672 --> 00:03:57,272 Not in your case. 47 00:03:57,273 --> 00:03:59,473 Remember Mars, your last hobby? 48 00:03:59,474 --> 00:04:01,674 We should have never let you set foot on the place. 49 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,675 Bare, barren, desolate. 50 00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:05,176 Nobody goes there anymore. 51 00:04:05,372 --> 00:04:06,499 No... 52 00:04:06,749 --> 00:04:08,377 Say, maybe if they put a gambling... 53 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,778 Nothing would help. 54 00:04:09,779 --> 00:04:12,679 Thanks to your thoughtlessness, Mars is a dead planet. 55 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:13,656 What good is it? 56 00:04:13,659 --> 00:04:14,024 Well, you could... 57 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,281 Now Kreton, I want write: 58 00:04:17,282 --> 00:04:21,582 "I will not visit the earth", 10 billion times. 59 00:04:21,583 --> 00:04:23,283 Stay after school a bit, if necessary. 60 00:04:24,924 --> 00:04:26,884 But Mr. Delton, I got a date with the fellas, 61 00:04:26,885 --> 00:04:28,584 to go space skiing. 62 00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:30,585 I got wax on my feet and everything. 63 00:04:30,586 --> 00:04:33,486 10 billion times. 64 00:04:34,487 --> 00:04:36,287 10 billion. 65 00:04:36,427 --> 00:04:37,606 Well. 66 00:04:42,888 --> 00:04:45,988 Did he say 10 billion times, or 10 million times? 67 00:04:45,989 --> 00:04:48,689 What's the difference all start with the first time. 68 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:58,290 I... will... not... visit... the... 69 00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:04,595 Ahh. 70 00:05:06,052 --> 00:05:07,364 Haa. 71 00:05:11,891 --> 00:05:15,391 He's gone again. Boy, is he in for it. 72 00:05:15,992 --> 00:05:18,092 You mean, "is the earth in for it." 73 00:05:34,693 --> 00:05:36,093 It is... 74 00:05:36,994 --> 00:05:38,894 It is one of them. 75 00:05:40,195 --> 00:05:43,395 It is. It is. 76 00:05:51,895 --> 00:05:53,695 Hello Mr. Mayberry. 77 00:05:53,698 --> 00:05:55,996 I just picked up my costume for your party tonight. 78 00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:56,903 What are you going as? 79 00:05:56,906 --> 00:05:58,297 General Lee, same as every year. 80 00:05:58,298 --> 00:05:59,245 What are you looking at? 81 00:05:59,248 --> 00:06:00,298 A flying saucer. 82 00:06:00,299 --> 00:06:01,405 A what? 83 00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:02,399 Didn't you see it? 84 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,700 Well, no sir. 85 00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:05,901 This is the real thing, Conrad. 86 00:06:05,902 --> 00:06:07,202 Look for yourself. 87 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,403 You see it? Do you see it? 88 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,704 Mr. Mayberry, there ain't nothing up there 89 00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:15,404 except a little old cloud. 90 00:06:15,405 --> 00:06:16,905 Oh, give me those. 91 00:06:17,406 --> 00:06:19,706 Little ole cloud nothing. There she is. 92 00:06:20,407 --> 00:06:23,907 Going round and round and round. 93 00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:26,108 - Let me have another look. - Just as plain as day. 94 00:06:26,609 --> 00:06:28,409 - Well? - I'm looking. 95 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,910 What is your considered opinion, Conrad? 96 00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:33,011 You won't get mad? 97 00:06:33,012 --> 00:06:34,612 Well, of course I won't. 98 00:06:34,613 --> 00:06:37,313 Well, Mr. Mayberry, my considered opinion is: 99 00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:39,114 You oughta' see an eye doctor. 100 00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:40,914 You got astigmatism. 101 00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:42,256 Eye doctor! 102 00:06:42,259 --> 00:06:44,016 Well, I gotta get over to Spelding's, 103 00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:45,817 I gotta drop these flowers for Ellen. 104 00:06:45,818 --> 00:06:47,318 Astigmatism! 105 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,018 To wear to your party tonight. 106 00:06:49,679 --> 00:06:51,179 Bye-bye. 107 00:06:55,121 --> 00:06:56,421 Oh, my goodness. 108 00:06:56,424 --> 00:06:59,023 Its wiggling like a hula-hoop. 109 00:06:59,822 --> 00:07:03,813 George, I fully realise that you are vice president in charge of programming 110 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,023 but I will not pull my punches. 111 00:07:07,024 --> 00:07:10,724 The American public has faith in Roger Putnam Spelding. 112 00:07:10,727 --> 00:07:14,125 And I intend to expos this flying saucers scare, 113 00:07:14,126 --> 00:07:15,325 once and for all. 114 00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:17,226 On my telecast tonight. 115 00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:18,927 Hello, hello. 116 00:07:19,228 --> 00:07:23,228 Rheba, will you please get off the telephone I'm talking to New York. 117 00:07:23,229 --> 00:07:26,529 I'm sorry dear, I was calling the Mayberry's. 118 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,930 Do you think you he'll need more mint for the juleps? 119 00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:32,531 Rheba please, I'm talking to George Abercrombie. 120 00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:36,232 Really? Oh, hello George and goodbye. 121 00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,762 Evening, Conrad. 122 00:07:40,765 --> 00:07:42,035 Evening, Mrs. Spelding. 123 00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:46,334 Not dressed yet for the party? 124 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,135 Plenty of time, Mrs. Spelding. 125 00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,215 Oh, darling, theirs some terrible force 126 00:07:51,216 --> 00:07:53,536 that just keeps driving me on and on and on. 127 00:07:53,537 --> 00:07:55,637 Will you just restrain that terrible force 128 00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:57,538 because I'm getting prickly heat again. 129 00:07:57,737 --> 00:08:00,337 Do not forget to dress for the party, Conrad. 130 00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:02,640 Honey, let's get married right now. 131 00:08:02,641 --> 00:08:04,725 Conrad, as you may have suspected, 132 00:08:04,728 --> 00:08:07,442 I find you sexually attractive, 133 00:08:07,599 --> 00:08:10,342 but you just don't have any... money. 134 00:08:10,483 --> 00:08:12,757 Well, I don't happen to believe in money. 135 00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:19,345 Ellen, no marriage til we finish college and get our degree. 136 00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:22,246 Oh I don't know, maybe marriage is all I'm fit for. 137 00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:24,322 Breading. 138 00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:29,047 Out in the fields and an hour later back to the plow. 139 00:08:29,048 --> 00:08:33,048 Carrying my newborn child on my back. 140 00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:33,955 Ellen! 141 00:08:34,518 --> 00:08:35,449 If you're going to talk that way, 142 00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:37,350 go where smart talk is appreciated. 143 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,853 Go to a bar or a bus station. 144 00:08:39,971 --> 00:08:42,252 Sometimes I wonder if all that cod liver oil, 145 00:08:42,253 --> 00:08:43,452 wasn't a mistake. 146 00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:45,253 Children were stuffed with it. 147 00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:46,854 And now look at them. 148 00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:50,155 I'd like a big family. 149 00:08:50,455 --> 00:08:51,755 So would I. 150 00:08:52,052 --> 00:08:53,857 Let's start right now. 151 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:57,247 - Conrad. - We'll get married. 152 00:08:57,815 --> 00:09:00,015 And then our weekend at the lake. 153 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,340 All I am saying George, 154 00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:08,910 is that it's high time the American public grew up. 155 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,073 How does it look dear? 156 00:09:12,762 --> 00:09:16,086 George, I am not calling all of the American public, "boobs," 157 00:09:16,087 --> 00:09:18,487 only the boobs that believe this dribble. 158 00:09:18,964 --> 00:09:21,064 I'll admit its a bit daring 159 00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:24,244 but after all, Scarlet was, a hussy. 160 00:09:24,245 --> 00:09:25,874 Rheba, for heaven sake. 161 00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:27,975 - Hurry, or we'll be late for the party. - Shh. 162 00:09:28,731 --> 00:09:30,469 Rhett... 163 00:09:30,729 --> 00:09:33,490 I am going as Jefferson Davis. 164 00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:35,106 Now that's final George. 165 00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:38,906 My program goes on the air exactly as we taped it this morning. 166 00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:40,482 Goodbye. 167 00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:44,733 Censorship, the curse of the intelligent man. 168 00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:50,599 And what are you doing? 169 00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,510 He's just giving me a hand, daddy. 170 00:09:52,511 --> 00:09:54,111 He certainly is. Get it out of there. 171 00:09:54,112 --> 00:09:55,712 Her zipper stuck, Mr. Spelding. 172 00:09:55,713 --> 00:09:57,470 No man has the right to zip a girl, 173 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:58,814 until they're engaged. 174 00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:01,115 I'm sure we can trust Conrad, 175 00:10:01,116 --> 00:10:02,516 he's very mechanical. 176 00:10:02,517 --> 00:10:05,517 Mr. Spelding, what do you think about these UFO reports? 177 00:10:05,518 --> 00:10:06,618 Poppycock. 178 00:10:06,619 --> 00:10:08,319 Mr. Mayberry doesn't think so. 179 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,420 He swears he saw an unidentified flying object, 180 00:10:10,421 --> 00:10:12,390 heading towards Richmond a little while ago. 181 00:10:12,391 --> 00:10:15,721 Bob Mayberry saw the Richmond plane heading towards Richmond. 182 00:10:15,722 --> 00:10:17,422 Mass hysteria that's what it is. 183 00:10:17,423 --> 00:10:20,723 I am laying it on the line tonight for the American public. 184 00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:23,308 You could be wrong, dear. 185 00:10:23,325 --> 00:10:25,845 Space men. There ain't no such animal. 186 00:10:26,135 --> 00:10:28,726 That's the phrase I'm hitting them with on my telecast. 187 00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:30,827 Remember that scoop you had about Elvis. 188 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,828 You said he was going into the Navy. 189 00:10:32,829 --> 00:10:35,729 Why don't you go home and get dressed? 190 00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:37,769 Yes, sir. Ouch! 191 00:10:38,231 --> 00:10:39,631 I'll be back soon Ellen. 192 00:10:39,632 --> 00:10:41,054 All right dear. 193 00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:43,233 Some mechanic. 194 00:10:45,234 --> 00:10:47,434 Flying saucer over Richmond. 195 00:10:47,435 --> 00:10:51,035 Now I've heard everything. There ain't no such animal. 196 00:11:07,939 --> 00:11:09,499 Safe. 197 00:11:21,236 --> 00:11:23,836 Good evening, I wonder if you could help me. 198 00:11:23,837 --> 00:11:25,237 Am I any where near eh... 199 00:11:28,038 --> 00:11:29,838 Oh, I guess he hasn't learned to read yet. 200 00:11:51,839 --> 00:11:53,439 What's the matter Rags? Hungry? 201 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,480 Rheba, when are you going to feed this dog? 202 00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:22,841 I think he's trying to tell you something. 203 00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,882 Of course he is, he's trying to tell me he's hungry. 204 00:12:25,943 --> 00:12:28,243 You see, he's not hungry at all. 205 00:12:28,744 --> 00:12:31,544 - Now, where he ever learn that trick? - I don't know. 206 00:12:32,745 --> 00:12:35,445 Someone at the side door. I'll get it dear. 207 00:12:36,946 --> 00:12:40,446 Rheba, it's almost seven do you mind turning on the TV set in the living room. 208 00:12:40,447 --> 00:12:43,247 Of course, dear. Any particular channel? 209 00:12:43,795 --> 00:12:44,972 My channel. 210 00:12:44,975 --> 00:12:47,899 I want to watch me. Nobody else in this house does. 211 00:13:07,249 --> 00:13:10,104 - Yes? - Good evening, madam. 212 00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:13,848 My name Kreton, and my respect to General Lee. 213 00:13:13,851 --> 00:13:15,751 I should like to see him instantly. 214 00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:19,552 General Lee? Oh, you mean Bob Mayberry down the road. 215 00:13:19,553 --> 00:13:21,253 That's where the party is. 216 00:13:21,854 --> 00:13:23,354 But I'm here for the battle. 217 00:13:23,355 --> 00:13:25,755 Oh, I don't think it will be a brawl, 218 00:13:25,756 --> 00:13:28,656 although last year... 219 00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:30,306 We will be leaving in a few minutes. 220 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,857 Why don't you just drive over with us, Mr. Crouton? 221 00:13:32,858 --> 00:13:35,758 That's Kreton. And thank you very much. 222 00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:38,159 TV set warmed up yet? 223 00:13:38,705 --> 00:13:41,238 Just turning it on, dear. 224 00:13:41,961 --> 00:13:45,661 My husband's television program. He's very popular they tell me. 225 00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:46,962 Oh, really? 226 00:13:55,663 --> 00:13:57,963 - Oh, Mr. Kreton? - Yes? 227 00:13:57,964 --> 00:14:00,064 Do sit down and watch. 228 00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:03,765 Well, television in 1861. 229 00:14:03,766 --> 00:14:05,966 That's funny, I thought it came much later. 230 00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:09,067 - Smoke if you'd like to. - Thank you. 231 00:14:20,368 --> 00:14:22,668 And stop whatever you're doing. 232 00:14:22,669 --> 00:14:25,969 Yes, stop and reflect a moment. 233 00:14:25,970 --> 00:14:28,770 Are you a thinking man? 234 00:14:28,771 --> 00:14:30,771 Yeah, I think, I'm a thinking man. 235 00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:32,972 Why not review your smoking habits. 236 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,673 Wait, I'm busy thinking. 237 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:35,774 Do it now. 238 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,775 Yes, sir. 239 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:39,076 But first... relax. 240 00:14:40,082 --> 00:14:41,631 Get comfortable. 241 00:14:42,986 --> 00:14:44,778 Do you mind if I sit down? 242 00:14:44,779 --> 00:14:46,579 Sit down. 243 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:50,380 Thank you, your very kind. 244 00:14:52,466 --> 00:14:54,210 Now then, before you light up... 245 00:14:54,282 --> 00:14:55,482 Oh, sorry. 246 00:14:55,483 --> 00:14:58,383 Inspect the filter at the end of your smoke. 247 00:14:58,634 --> 00:15:02,457 Look inside... look closely. 248 00:15:04,591 --> 00:15:05,885 What do you see? 249 00:15:05,886 --> 00:15:07,282 Tobacco, what would you see? 250 00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:08,687 Inspect the tobacco. 251 00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:10,388 Try a crumble test. 252 00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:13,389 Crumble test? 253 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:16,290 Rub the tobacco between your hands. 254 00:15:19,691 --> 00:15:21,691 Now, whiff it. 255 00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:24,092 Wait, I'm still busy crumbling. 256 00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:25,813 Whiff it! 257 00:15:25,814 --> 00:15:26,994 Oh, yes sir. 258 00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:30,914 Does it have that fresh deep down aroma? 259 00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,496 Makes you stop and think, doesn't it.. 260 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,497 It made me stop and sneeze. 261 00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,998 So men just throw that old smoke of yours away. 262 00:15:39,399 --> 00:15:41,699 And try one of these. 263 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,700 Put it between your lips. 264 00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:50,401 Close your eyes. 265 00:15:51,302 --> 00:15:53,302 Now... light up. 266 00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:59,103 Yes... light up... and live. 267 00:16:00,604 --> 00:16:01,804 Light up and live. 268 00:16:01,805 --> 00:16:03,714 Man. I'm going to be burned to death. 269 00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:05,809 Damn Yankee. 270 00:16:07,745 --> 00:16:09,545 His name is Kreton. 271 00:16:10,107 --> 00:16:12,607 Why can't he walk over there? Who is he anyway? 272 00:16:12,608 --> 00:16:14,908 Some friend of the Mayberry's. 273 00:16:14,909 --> 00:16:16,509 A nice young man. 274 00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:22,910 Oh, confound it. I'm missing me. 275 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:30,186 This dog has gone nuts. Now scoot, jump. 276 00:16:37,112 --> 00:16:39,956 For several years now certain lunatics elements, 277 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,112 have proclaim the existence of flying saucers. 278 00:16:43,528 --> 00:16:47,613 I should like to nail the subject down once and for all. 279 00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:50,614 There ain't no such animal. 280 00:16:51,715 --> 00:16:55,915 There is no life on other planets capable of building spaceships 281 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,116 and to interject a purely American note, 282 00:16:59,117 --> 00:17:02,017 no country in the world but ours, 283 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:06,118 has the industrial know how to build such a ship. 284 00:17:06,501 --> 00:17:07,901 Right. 285 00:17:07,981 --> 00:17:10,120 Let me show you some recent photographs 286 00:17:10,121 --> 00:17:13,021 of objects reported to be spaceships. 287 00:17:13,922 --> 00:17:15,922 - Why, president Jefferson Davis. - Number one. 288 00:17:15,923 --> 00:17:18,823 Of all people, I can't tell you how glad I am to meet you... 289 00:17:19,424 --> 00:17:21,724 Oh, I'm awfully sorry, sir. 290 00:17:21,725 --> 00:17:23,125 For what? 291 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,525 Number two. 292 00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:28,727 Your left side-burn sir... They, shot it off. 293 00:17:28,728 --> 00:17:29,728 Number three. 294 00:17:29,729 --> 00:17:30,723 - Quiet. - I'm sorry? 295 00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:32,229 I'm trying to listen. 296 00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:33,830 Oh. I'll listen also sir. 297 00:17:34,197 --> 00:17:36,497 And number four. 298 00:17:37,132 --> 00:17:40,332 Optical illusions, every one of them. 299 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,333 Mass hysteria. 300 00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:44,134 That's telling them, eh, boy. 301 00:17:44,135 --> 00:17:47,435 Yes, sir. It's too bad, is full of hooey. 302 00:17:47,436 --> 00:17:48,736 Hooey? 303 00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:50,837 Oh well, I believe that's the expression, sir.. 304 00:17:50,838 --> 00:17:53,438 Or is it eh, goofidust? 305 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,839 No, hooey! That's it. He is full of hooey. 306 00:17:57,540 --> 00:18:01,440 There's no need for alarm. No need at all. 307 00:18:01,441 --> 00:18:04,741 We shall return to Roger Putnam Spelding, in a moment. 308 00:18:04,742 --> 00:18:08,842 But first. Have you inspected your filter lately. 309 00:18:09,343 --> 00:18:11,443 Smoke Supurbo. 310 00:18:11,444 --> 00:18:14,344 Superb tobacco superbly blended 311 00:18:14,345 --> 00:18:16,245 a superb filter. 312 00:18:16,246 --> 00:18:18,146 Mr. President, don't you listen to him. 313 00:18:18,147 --> 00:18:20,046 He'll burn your whiskers off. 314 00:18:20,047 --> 00:18:21,047 Oh, stop. 315 00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:24,648 I mean it, sir. He did a job on me. He burned my head and my face... 316 00:18:24,649 --> 00:18:26,749 You think I'm full of hooey, eh? 317 00:18:26,750 --> 00:18:28,950 Oh, no sir. I didn't say you were full of hooey, 318 00:18:28,951 --> 00:18:30,451 I said that... that... that... 319 00:18:32,852 --> 00:18:34,652 Well... your not Jefferson Davis. 320 00:18:34,653 --> 00:18:37,253 Your him that man on TV. 321 00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:41,454 - That Roger Pelman Sputing. - Spelding. 322 00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,655 I know who I am. The question is: Who are you? 323 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,256 Oh, no sir. The question is: When am I? 324 00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:47,257 When are you? 325 00:18:47,258 --> 00:18:49,958 What I mean is... what year is this? 326 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,327 1960. 327 00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:52,860 NINETEEN SIXTY 328 00:18:54,061 --> 00:18:55,761 I'm 99 years off. 329 00:18:55,762 --> 00:18:57,662 What year did you have in mind? 330 00:18:58,222 --> 00:18:59,302 1861. 331 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,149 I was on my way to the civil war 332 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,763 and something went wrong with the machine, 333 00:19:02,764 --> 00:19:04,364 or my calculations, I don't know which, but... 334 00:19:04,365 --> 00:19:07,665 I landed here 99 years out of my way. 335 00:19:08,266 --> 00:19:10,766 But I never was very good at dates. 336 00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:12,967 Are you trying to pull my leg? 337 00:19:13,241 --> 00:19:16,641 No, sir, but if you liked me to... 338 00:19:21,469 --> 00:19:23,269 Oh, I've been awfully rude, sir, 339 00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:25,470 I haven't introduced myself. My name is Kreton. 340 00:19:25,471 --> 00:19:26,671 I'm from the other side. 341 00:19:26,672 --> 00:19:27,772 The other side of where? 342 00:19:27,773 --> 00:19:29,873 The other side of the universe, another planet. 343 00:19:29,874 --> 00:19:31,274 Oh, I'm sorry. 344 00:19:33,275 --> 00:19:34,875 Actually, what... 345 00:19:34,876 --> 00:19:37,376 Come on, come on, I know a trick when I see one. 346 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,577 Now where's the wire that you did this with? 347 00:19:46,578 --> 00:19:47,578 What is this? 348 00:19:47,679 --> 00:19:50,479 I'm sorry, I neglected to warn you. You see, 349 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,380 I can touch you but you mustn't touch me, you understand? 350 00:19:54,639 --> 00:19:56,687 Look, I'll show you. 351 00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:58,636 You see? 352 00:20:01,382 --> 00:20:04,282 They do exist and you're one of them. 353 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,583 Well, yo... you come from out there. 354 00:20:07,584 --> 00:20:09,584 That's it, yes indeed. 355 00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:12,885 But that's our little secret now, isn't it Mr. Spelding? 356 00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:18,686 That's odd. I thought I turned that motor off. 357 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:24,587 Oh, I'll be spending the night here. That is... if it's convenient. 358 00:20:24,588 --> 00:20:26,088 I'll be right back. 359 00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:37,689 When you boobs my friends, I simply repeat: 360 00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:40,690 When it comes to visitors from outer space, 361 00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:43,891 there ain't no such animal. 362 00:20:43,892 --> 00:20:46,892 That's what you think, you stupid boob. 363 00:21:06,691 --> 00:21:09,291 Oh, Mr. Delton, sir. 364 00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:11,494 You playing hookey too? 365 00:21:11,495 --> 00:21:13,395 I certainly am not. 366 00:21:13,396 --> 00:21:16,296 So you gone over the cloud again eh? 367 00:21:16,297 --> 00:21:20,289 Whats your excuse this time? Another missing volley ball? 368 00:21:20,292 --> 00:21:22,892 Oh, no sir. No, Mr. Delton. 369 00:21:22,893 --> 00:21:25,793 I-I lost my marbles. 370 00:21:25,794 --> 00:21:28,394 You lost your marbles long ago. 371 00:21:28,395 --> 00:21:30,495 I'll tell the truth, Mr. Delton. 372 00:21:30,496 --> 00:21:32,596 You see the reason I played hockey and came down here is, 373 00:21:32,597 --> 00:21:35,497 because I like the earth and I like the people on it, 374 00:21:35,498 --> 00:21:38,398 and well sir, can't I can study them? 375 00:21:38,399 --> 00:21:39,799 Absolutely not. 376 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,300 But it would be like homework, sir, 377 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,401 after all I am majoring in planet earth. 378 00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,902 Under no circumstances. 379 00:21:45,903 --> 00:21:47,503 On second thought, 380 00:21:47,504 --> 00:21:50,004 maybe you ought to get this out of your system. 381 00:21:50,005 --> 00:21:51,605 It might do you a world of good. 382 00:21:51,606 --> 00:21:53,406 Another world that is. 383 00:21:53,407 --> 00:21:55,385 You mean I can stay then, sir? 384 00:21:55,535 --> 00:21:56,835 For a bit. 385 00:21:56,838 --> 00:22:00,109 But remember Kreton, there's a wise old proverb that goes 386 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,510 "up is down and down is up..." 387 00:22:02,511 --> 00:22:04,611 "And never the twain shall meet." 388 00:22:04,612 --> 00:22:06,812 Yes, I remember it. I remember it well, sir. 389 00:22:06,813 --> 00:22:08,713 But you must keep in mind that this visit of yours, 390 00:22:08,714 --> 00:22:09,914 must be a secret. 391 00:22:09,915 --> 00:22:13,615 And don't get involved with these earth-people. You can't trust them. 392 00:22:13,616 --> 00:22:15,016 No, you can't trust them at all, sir, 393 00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:16,617 except Mr. Spelding, he's very nice, 394 00:22:16,618 --> 00:22:18,218 an he wouldn't tell a soul about me. 395 00:22:18,219 --> 00:22:19,919 He wouldn't, eh? 396 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,620 At this very moment, he's calling New York. Listen. 397 00:22:25,121 --> 00:22:28,321 I don't care if he is having dining. This is important. 398 00:22:28,622 --> 00:22:30,522 I'll fix his wagon. 399 00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:32,523 What are you going to do, Mr. Delton? 400 00:22:32,524 --> 00:22:35,024 That joker is getting the old "86." 401 00:22:35,025 --> 00:22:36,625 Oh no don't disintegrate, him Mr. Delton. 402 00:22:36,626 --> 00:22:39,026 He's a very nice man, and he's going to a party later 403 00:22:39,027 --> 00:22:40,527 and his wife will not dance with. 404 00:22:40,528 --> 00:22:42,528 Couldn't you just throw an old 14 at him? 405 00:22:43,811 --> 00:22:46,129 - 14 it is. - Your very kind. 406 00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:49,630 Here's how to start my program tomorrow... 407 00:22:52,531 --> 00:22:55,931 Well, speak up man. I have a dinner party waiting for me. 408 00:22:56,732 --> 00:22:59,632 How do you intend to start your broadcast? 409 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:02,212 Mary had a wittle wamb, 410 00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,823 its fleece was white as snow, 411 00:23:05,198 --> 00:23:08,417 and everywhere that Mary went. 412 00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:11,633 Roger, are you out of your mind? 413 00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:16,891 The wamb... was sure... to go. 414 00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:19,058 Spelding you're drunk. 415 00:23:19,935 --> 00:23:23,435 Study these earthlings but don't get involved. 416 00:23:23,551 --> 00:23:24,476 No, I won't. 417 00:23:24,479 --> 00:23:27,136 Do you worry, Mr. Delton and thank you very much. 418 00:23:27,137 --> 00:23:30,637 And I'll be a good boy, Mr. Delton. Have a good trip. 419 00:23:30,638 --> 00:23:32,338 So long. 420 00:23:48,239 --> 00:23:49,239 What happened? 421 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,940 Well, you were snitching so you got a 14. 422 00:23:51,941 --> 00:23:53,541 You could have gotten an 86. 423 00:23:53,542 --> 00:23:54,542 Whats an 86? 424 00:23:55,492 --> 00:23:56,892 Come I show you. 425 00:24:00,924 --> 00:24:01,934 Well? 426 00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:03,809 Watch that plant. 427 00:24:18,782 --> 00:24:20,782 That's an 86. 428 00:24:30,779 --> 00:24:34,190 You'll like him, he's really a very nice young man. 429 00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:35,883 - Mr. Kreton. - Yes? 430 00:24:35,894 --> 00:24:37,447 This is my daughter, Ellen. 431 00:24:37,619 --> 00:24:39,156 Hello. 432 00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:41,021 Huh. 36. 433 00:24:42,549 --> 00:24:44,660 24... 434 00:24:44,663 --> 00:24:46,349 36. 435 00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:47,950 That's better... much better. 436 00:24:47,951 --> 00:24:48,951 Pardon? 437 00:24:48,952 --> 00:24:52,152 - I mean... this bend... - What? 438 00:24:52,153 --> 00:24:54,753 What I mean to say is that, it does something for girls. 439 00:24:54,754 --> 00:24:58,154 You see, where I come from, the girls are 36 straight and that's it. 440 00:24:58,155 --> 00:25:01,455 But this, breaks up the monotony. 441 00:25:02,516 --> 00:25:05,156 - I'm sorry. - He is cute, mother. 442 00:25:05,957 --> 00:25:06,957 I was right. 443 00:25:06,958 --> 00:25:08,858 I was right. I was right. 444 00:25:08,859 --> 00:25:11,059 Good evening, Ellen, Rheba. 445 00:25:11,060 --> 00:25:13,860 I just received a flash from headquarters on the flying saucers. 446 00:25:13,861 --> 00:25:15,861 It's confirmed Roger. 447 00:25:15,862 --> 00:25:19,238 Why I even saw one with my own eyes, as plain as day. 448 00:25:19,241 --> 00:25:21,163 There were machine guns sticking out of the side 449 00:25:21,164 --> 00:25:22,964 and underneath it had a rack of bomb, 450 00:25:23,238 --> 00:25:26,779 and a tremendous cannon poking out of a pillbox on the top. 451 00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:28,379 Oh, ho ho? 452 00:25:28,382 --> 00:25:30,066 - How do you do. - How do you do. 453 00:25:30,168 --> 00:25:31,168 Have we met? 454 00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:35,047 No, unless you've ever been to X-47. 455 00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:38,631 This is Mr. Mayberry. He's host to the party tonight. 456 00:25:38,634 --> 00:25:39,319 Oh? 457 00:25:39,553 --> 00:25:40,951 Nice costume. 458 00:25:40,952 --> 00:25:43,052 Right costumes, wrong century. 459 00:25:46,382 --> 00:25:48,540 Oh, get this, Rog, get this. 460 00:25:48,543 --> 00:25:51,815 At 1800 this evening, an unidentified flying object 461 00:25:51,855 --> 00:25:53,155 was spotted high over... 462 00:25:53,156 --> 00:25:55,056 Bob, you shouldn't read that in fount of Roger. 463 00:25:55,057 --> 00:25:58,257 Remember, there "ain't" no such animal. 464 00:25:58,258 --> 00:26:00,658 "No such animal," as what, mother? 465 00:26:00,659 --> 00:26:02,959 As visitors from beyond. 466 00:26:03,703 --> 00:26:06,703 Teensy-wincy little men with long green feelers like this. 467 00:26:07,035 --> 00:26:08,661 Excuse me, Mrs. Spelding, 468 00:26:08,662 --> 00:26:11,880 but the long green feelers went out with the short red tails. 469 00:26:12,875 --> 00:26:14,749 Short red tails?? 470 00:26:15,664 --> 00:26:18,132 Bob, Rheba, for heaven's sake. 471 00:26:18,135 --> 00:26:19,865 Short red tails?? 472 00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:21,766 That's a good one. 473 00:26:23,027 --> 00:26:24,121 No. 474 00:26:24,123 --> 00:26:25,643 Oh no. 475 00:26:26,218 --> 00:26:29,018 Yes, yes indeed. You put fingerprints all over it. 476 00:26:29,128 --> 00:26:31,228 I mean, I don't care for me personally, 477 00:26:31,269 --> 00:26:33,469 but we are supposed to keep it clean. 478 00:26:33,470 --> 00:26:36,470 You know, sloppy barrier, sloppy mind. 479 00:26:45,571 --> 00:26:48,571 You know whats going on Rog, tell us? 480 00:26:49,932 --> 00:26:53,932 I can't. I have to watch out for that old 86. 481 00:26:54,134 --> 00:26:55,259 86? 482 00:26:55,262 --> 00:26:57,775 Look what happened to the azalea plant. 483 00:26:58,374 --> 00:26:59,974 It's withered! 484 00:26:59,975 --> 00:27:02,075 That's what I mean. 485 00:27:02,376 --> 00:27:04,276 Can I tell them, please? 486 00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:08,779 Well, as long as I am going to be guest in your house, 487 00:27:08,782 --> 00:27:10,356 I suppose it'll be alright. 488 00:27:10,495 --> 00:27:11,562 But remember now. 489 00:27:11,619 --> 00:27:13,349 This is our little secret. 490 00:27:14,079 --> 00:27:15,779 - You see... - I'm from another world. 491 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,180 - From another...? - Planet. 492 00:27:18,181 --> 00:27:20,881 - It's true. - Jupiter? 493 00:27:20,882 --> 00:27:23,682 Jupiter? No one lives on Jupiter. 494 00:27:23,683 --> 00:27:25,583 At least no one I know. 495 00:27:25,584 --> 00:27:26,884 Why did you come here? 496 00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:29,020 Oh... I guess it was a 497 00:27:29,302 --> 00:27:31,426 combined pleasure and study trip. 498 00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:34,284 You know, a visit to your small planet from mine. 499 00:27:34,787 --> 00:27:36,687 8,000,000 light years away. 500 00:27:36,688 --> 00:27:39,821 8,000,000. Imagine. 501 00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:42,890 Poor boy, you must be exhausted. 502 00:27:43,502 --> 00:27:46,589 I am as a matter of fact a little pooped right now. 503 00:27:46,590 --> 00:27:48,590 A good night sleep will take care of that. 504 00:27:48,591 --> 00:27:50,591 I'll fix up the guest room. 505 00:27:50,592 --> 00:27:52,192 Oh, well, thank you very much. 506 00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:16,093 Hi everybody. 507 00:28:16,094 --> 00:28:17,762 Hi, Conrad. 508 00:28:18,004 --> 00:28:19,394 What is he supposed to be? 509 00:28:19,395 --> 00:28:21,095 A spaceman. 510 00:28:21,384 --> 00:28:23,496 At least that's what I would have said 10 minutes ago. 511 00:28:23,497 --> 00:28:24,997 Ain't I something? 512 00:28:25,598 --> 00:28:27,196 Excuse me, please. 513 00:28:27,197 --> 00:28:28,721 How do you do? 514 00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:30,469 I wonder, do you mind? 515 00:28:30,681 --> 00:28:31,981 Go ahead. 516 00:28:32,328 --> 00:28:33,683 Thanks you. 517 00:28:36,301 --> 00:28:38,137 You know I'm sick and tired of going to this old 518 00:28:38,140 --> 00:28:40,103 ball every year dressed as Stonewall Jackson. 519 00:28:40,502 --> 00:28:42,902 This year I'm going as a sure enough spaceman. 520 00:28:43,252 --> 00:28:44,354 Boom boom. 521 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,403 Oh, you don't need that to bum-bum. May I? 522 00:28:48,747 --> 00:28:49,786 Sure. 523 00:28:51,505 --> 00:28:53,405 Mr. Spelding, who is that? 524 00:28:53,806 --> 00:28:57,006 That you boob, is a spaceman. 525 00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:58,807 A spaceman? 526 00:28:59,808 --> 00:29:01,308 Your kidding. 527 00:29:02,109 --> 00:29:05,509 Would you please sit down and shut up? 528 00:29:13,110 --> 00:29:15,010 Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Spelding. 529 00:29:16,911 --> 00:29:19,011 Get-this-thing-off-me! 530 00:29:20,412 --> 00:29:21,534 Get it off. 531 00:29:21,537 --> 00:29:24,714 Yes, I will. Just a second. 532 00:29:29,626 --> 00:29:34,113 Oops I'm sorry, Mr. Spelding. I guess I aimed just a little too high. 533 00:29:34,114 --> 00:29:36,824 If you'll just take your hands down and relax. 534 00:29:36,827 --> 00:29:38,416 Just hold perfectly still. 535 00:29:44,715 --> 00:29:46,415 There we are. 536 00:29:53,616 --> 00:29:56,616 See, Mr. Spelding, I can but you can't. 537 00:30:00,417 --> 00:30:04,717 Sure enough ever loving cotton picking spaceman. 538 00:30:04,718 --> 00:30:07,518 Here you are Mr. Spelding, I hope I didn't upset... 539 00:30:07,519 --> 00:30:08,742 Guest room's ready. 540 00:30:08,745 --> 00:30:11,730 Thank you, very much Mrs. Spelding. I hope I didn't put you out. 541 00:30:11,733 --> 00:30:14,921 And find some of Mr. Spelding clothes in the closet. 542 00:30:14,922 --> 00:30:16,188 Feel free to wear them. 543 00:30:16,191 --> 00:30:18,723 My clothes?!? Are you radioactive? 544 00:30:18,724 --> 00:30:21,324 Don't worry about that sir, I've had my shots. 545 00:30:21,325 --> 00:30:25,025 Well, enjoy yourselves everybody. I'm going to beddy-bye. 546 00:30:25,026 --> 00:30:27,526 - Goodnight. - You forgot your bag, Kreton. 547 00:30:27,527 --> 00:30:30,727 Oh, so I did, thank you. 548 00:30:34,757 --> 00:30:35,549 Bob... 549 00:30:36,653 --> 00:30:37,923 Where are you going? 550 00:30:37,926 --> 00:30:39,650 I know my duty when I see it. 551 00:30:39,653 --> 00:30:41,328 I'm reporting this to state militia. 552 00:30:41,331 --> 00:30:43,431 I wouldn't do that. He wants it kept secret. 553 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,035 Secret? 554 00:30:45,426 --> 00:30:49,531 Oh. Of course. You can trust me, Rog. 555 00:30:49,532 --> 00:30:51,032 Won't tell a soul. 556 00:30:54,523 --> 00:30:55,630 Conrad? 557 00:30:55,633 --> 00:30:57,456 Won't tell a soul ether Mr. Spelding. 558 00:30:57,459 --> 00:30:58,559 Your darn right you won't. 559 00:30:58,570 --> 00:31:00,570 You think I'd let a blabber mouth like you get me in trouble? 560 00:31:00,582 --> 00:31:01,992 You are not leaving this house tonight. 561 00:31:01,995 --> 00:31:03,784 You are sleeping here. 562 00:31:05,749 --> 00:31:07,049 In my room. 563 00:31:07,752 --> 00:31:10,252 I'm sorry, Mr. Spelding, just I can't. 564 00:31:10,645 --> 00:31:14,265 I mean... I'm not gonna leave Myrtle alone in my place all night. 565 00:31:14,307 --> 00:31:16,408 - Myrtle? - His goat daddy. Remember? 566 00:31:16,411 --> 00:31:17,077 Oh yeah... 567 00:31:17,141 --> 00:31:18,941 Myrtle hasn't been a bit well Mr. Spelding. 568 00:31:18,942 --> 00:31:20,107 She looks very piqued. 569 00:31:20,154 --> 00:31:22,526 And in the last couple of days she been running a temperature. 570 00:31:22,529 --> 00:31:25,743 Well, she can run it over here. Put Myrtle in our barn. 571 00:31:25,844 --> 00:31:27,847 - Is it air conditioning? - Get going. 572 00:31:27,850 --> 00:31:29,150 Yes sir, I'll do that. 573 00:31:32,146 --> 00:31:33,424 What about the party daddy? 574 00:31:33,427 --> 00:31:35,848 We are not going to the party. 575 00:31:39,837 --> 00:31:40,937 Good evening, good evening. 576 00:31:40,962 --> 00:31:43,662 Mabel, Mabel. Get them to the living room. 577 00:31:43,749 --> 00:31:45,949 - What? - Get them into the living room, please. 578 00:31:45,950 --> 00:31:47,061 Hurry, dear, hurry. 579 00:31:47,064 --> 00:31:50,351 Will you all please go into the living room and enjoy yourself's, 580 00:31:50,354 --> 00:31:52,192 I'll be there in just a moment. 581 00:31:52,431 --> 00:31:53,330 Have fun. 582 00:31:54,853 --> 00:31:56,326 Robert, what the world...? 583 00:31:56,329 --> 00:31:58,253 Don't ask any questions, Mabel. 584 00:31:58,254 --> 00:32:00,429 This is the biggest thing that ever happened to Manassas... 585 00:32:00,432 --> 00:32:01,156 To the country! 586 00:32:01,455 --> 00:32:03,955 Captain Jackson? Mayberry of Manassas. 587 00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:06,956 Listen carefully, this is top, top secret. 588 00:32:06,957 --> 00:32:09,757 At precisely 7:45 tonight... 589 00:32:09,814 --> 00:32:12,877 Mary had a wittle wamb. 590 00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:15,758 Mustn't do that, Mr. Mayberry. 591 00:32:25,959 --> 00:32:28,659 Oh, hi' ya Rags. Come on in. Come on. 592 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,160 There's no reason why we can't be friends, Rags. 593 00:32:36,161 --> 00:32:39,161 Now, whats on your mind? Come on, out with it. 594 00:32:40,552 --> 00:32:42,152 Oh, I forgot. 595 00:32:45,353 --> 00:32:48,553 I don't believe it. There ain't no such human. 596 00:32:48,554 --> 00:32:50,754 You been spending too much time with Mr. Spelding. 597 00:32:50,755 --> 00:32:52,255 I am perfectly normal. 598 00:32:53,556 --> 00:32:55,156 Rags, where do you sleep at night? 599 00:32:55,157 --> 00:32:58,457 Me? In a lousy box in the back porch. 600 00:32:58,458 --> 00:33:00,358 They think I'm a watchdog, 601 00:33:00,359 --> 00:33:02,659 but really I'm not, I'm yellow. 602 00:33:03,060 --> 00:33:04,860 So am I. 603 00:33:06,161 --> 00:33:09,961 Rags I have a thought. Why don't you bunk here with me tonight? 604 00:33:09,962 --> 00:33:12,662 - With you? - Sure, why not? 605 00:33:40,343 --> 00:33:43,243 Rags, you take the lower. 606 00:33:49,264 --> 00:33:51,464 Normal... he says . 607 00:33:57,965 --> 00:34:00,965 - Good morning, Kreton. - Good morning, Ellen. 608 00:34:00,966 --> 00:34:03,866 - You look very pretty this morning. - Thank you. 609 00:34:03,867 --> 00:34:05,467 Well, how do you like it? 610 00:34:05,468 --> 00:34:07,568 Your first day on earth, I mean. 611 00:34:08,569 --> 00:34:10,283 Just wonderful. I liked it a lot. 612 00:34:10,286 --> 00:34:12,386 Except that, its not exactly like I thought it would be. 613 00:34:12,571 --> 00:34:14,471 Why, what did you imagine? 614 00:34:14,472 --> 00:34:18,472 I'm a little disappointed, I missed the civil war. 615 00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:21,973 Gettysburg, Shiloh, Manassas. 616 00:34:21,974 --> 00:34:25,074 You keep talking about the past, are you from the future? 617 00:34:25,075 --> 00:34:29,775 Yeah, uh-huh. I can visit you at any moment in your history. 618 00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:33,076 Time is really a trapezoid. 619 00:34:33,077 --> 00:34:34,745 You know what that means, don't you? 620 00:34:34,752 --> 00:34:36,452 No, I'm afraid I don't. 621 00:34:36,455 --> 00:34:38,247 Don't know what a trapezoid is? 622 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,279 Well, I don't either, actually. 623 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,280 That's the trouble with school, 624 00:34:44,281 --> 00:34:46,881 they make you memorize things that your never ever gonna use. 625 00:35:07,082 --> 00:35:09,782 Kreton, whats it like in space? 626 00:35:09,783 --> 00:35:13,583 Oh, its pretty nice. Especially if your traveling out of season. 627 00:35:14,784 --> 00:35:16,584 - Uh-oh, trouble. - Trouble? 628 00:35:16,585 --> 00:35:18,385 Your daddy's in the study, 629 00:35:18,386 --> 00:35:21,086 and he's waiting for a call from George Abercrombie in New York, 630 00:35:21,087 --> 00:35:22,487 and is he worried... 631 00:35:22,488 --> 00:35:24,888 You mean, you can tell what daddy's thinking? 632 00:35:24,964 --> 00:35:27,264 Uh-huh. Would you like to listen in? 633 00:35:30,021 --> 00:35:32,621 George Abercrombie, big shot executive, 634 00:35:32,622 --> 00:35:35,722 thinks he has brains, well I've got news for him, 635 00:35:35,723 --> 00:35:38,134 his brains aren't in his head their in his... 636 00:35:38,137 --> 00:35:38,752 Oops. 637 00:35:40,665 --> 00:35:42,624 You have to be awfully careful of thoughts. 638 00:35:43,325 --> 00:35:46,125 Like for instance: Yours thoughts. Right now. 639 00:35:46,426 --> 00:35:48,426 I haven't a thing on my mind. 640 00:35:48,427 --> 00:35:50,127 Except Conrad. 641 00:35:51,228 --> 00:35:52,528 The truth, Ellen? 642 00:35:52,529 --> 00:35:55,929 Poor Conrad, sleeping with daddy, 643 00:35:55,930 --> 00:35:59,030 and if daddy knew what he had planning for this weekend at the lake 644 00:35:59,031 --> 00:36:01,634 he strangle him in his sleep. 645 00:36:02,532 --> 00:36:04,232 No chaperones. 646 00:36:04,633 --> 00:36:06,233 I'm frighted... 647 00:36:06,546 --> 00:36:08,446 No I'm excited. 648 00:36:09,335 --> 00:36:11,335 I'm really looking forward to... 649 00:36:12,036 --> 00:36:15,136 He's inside, Kreton is inside my mind. 650 00:36:15,737 --> 00:36:17,937 Kreton, stop that! 651 00:36:17,938 --> 00:36:20,238 Ellen, wait a minute, 652 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,639 I mean, I didn't mean to embarrass you. 653 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,640 Well, now you know. 654 00:36:23,641 --> 00:36:25,941 Oh Kreton, whole thing is so mixed up. 655 00:36:25,942 --> 00:36:26,942 Well, lets un-mix it. 656 00:36:27,168 --> 00:36:29,568 First, how does Conrad feel about your father? 657 00:36:29,569 --> 00:36:31,669 I'm afraid he doesn't like daddy very much. 658 00:36:31,670 --> 00:36:33,670 And what does your father think about Conrad? 659 00:36:33,671 --> 00:36:34,871 Despises him. 660 00:36:34,872 --> 00:36:36,272 The first thing we have to do is, 661 00:36:36,273 --> 00:36:37,473 change the sleeping arrangement. 662 00:36:37,474 --> 00:36:40,174 Because last night wasn't satisfactory at all. 663 00:36:40,175 --> 00:36:42,175 So there are 3 bedrooms and I'm in one. 664 00:36:42,176 --> 00:36:45,676 Now lets put Mr. and Mrs. Spelding in bedroom A, together. 665 00:36:45,677 --> 00:36:47,577 Now, you and Conrad... 666 00:36:47,578 --> 00:36:49,678 Yes, this is going to work out just fine, Ellen. 667 00:36:49,679 --> 00:36:52,079 You and Conrad can take over bedroom B. 668 00:36:52,462 --> 00:36:54,862 Conrad and I, aren't married. 669 00:36:56,303 --> 00:36:58,481 Well, I didn't mean any harm by it, Ellen. 670 00:36:58,482 --> 00:37:01,782 You have to understand, you see, where I come from, we don't tangle. 671 00:37:02,783 --> 00:37:04,783 You don't tangle? 672 00:37:04,784 --> 00:37:07,484 Oh no, we haven't done that for a long time. 673 00:37:08,685 --> 00:37:10,785 Well, if you don't tangle... 674 00:37:10,788 --> 00:37:12,485 What do you do? 675 00:37:12,486 --> 00:37:14,486 I mean, how do you multiply? 676 00:37:14,687 --> 00:37:16,287 Multiply what? 677 00:37:16,288 --> 00:37:18,791 Each other. How do you have babies? 678 00:37:18,889 --> 00:37:21,521 - Oh we don't. - I don't understand. 679 00:37:21,524 --> 00:37:24,024 Let me explain. We have ourselves. 680 00:37:24,629 --> 00:37:26,933 Since we're for real, forever, 681 00:37:27,059 --> 00:37:28,491 there's enough of us. 682 00:37:28,492 --> 00:37:29,792 Do you understand? 683 00:37:29,793 --> 00:37:32,393 So now you... never tangle. 684 00:37:32,394 --> 00:37:34,494 No, never. It's a lost art. 685 00:37:34,495 --> 00:37:37,995 Although I must admit we were a little hasty. I think. 686 00:37:37,996 --> 00:37:40,496 Anyway, you must promise me that you'll let me watch, 687 00:37:40,497 --> 00:37:42,997 the next time you and Conrad oscillate antennas. 688 00:37:43,698 --> 00:37:46,298 Oscillate antennas? 689 00:37:46,299 --> 00:37:48,499 Oh, sorry. That's what they call it on Venus, 690 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:52,173 but here I think they refer to it as: Pitch and woo. 691 00:37:52,501 --> 00:37:53,801 May I watch? 692 00:37:56,402 --> 00:37:58,102 Well Ellen, what did I say now? 693 00:37:58,903 --> 00:38:01,908 That's really the one thing I wanna' see while I'm down here. 694 00:38:01,911 --> 00:38:04,511 Kreton, you've got to stop talking like that. 695 00:38:04,605 --> 00:38:06,505 I know that your from another planet, 696 00:38:06,506 --> 00:38:09,406 but we do think an awful lot about sex down here. 697 00:38:09,407 --> 00:38:11,407 But were not suppose to discus it. 698 00:38:11,408 --> 00:38:14,408 Anyway, it only happens when nobody's looking. 699 00:38:14,409 --> 00:38:15,920 Morning, Conrad. 700 00:38:16,192 --> 00:38:17,809 Did you sleep well? 701 00:38:17,810 --> 00:38:19,410 I was up all night... 702 00:38:20,611 --> 00:38:23,011 Ellen, your father grinds his teeth. 703 00:38:23,012 --> 00:38:25,012 It's just gruesome. 704 00:38:28,004 --> 00:38:29,863 He's been listening to my mind. 705 00:38:30,614 --> 00:38:33,389 I know all about the weekend at lake. 706 00:38:33,392 --> 00:38:34,914 No chaperone. 707 00:38:34,915 --> 00:38:36,815 Yeah, how 'bout that? 708 00:38:37,931 --> 00:38:39,191 How'd he find out? 709 00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:41,420 I just told you. I was thinking about you, 710 00:38:41,423 --> 00:38:43,418 Kreton saw it in my mind. 711 00:38:43,505 --> 00:38:46,915 Guess who I'm thinking about right this minute peach blossom. 712 00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:49,920 So that's how you earthlings do it, huh? 713 00:38:49,921 --> 00:38:52,021 Very interesting. Very interesting indeed. 714 00:38:52,022 --> 00:38:56,522 Well, I'm pretty well straighten away except for one little detail. 715 00:38:56,523 --> 00:38:58,923 A teensy-wincy thing I still not to sure of. 716 00:38:59,224 --> 00:39:01,579 - Which one has the baby? - Kreton! 717 00:39:01,825 --> 00:39:04,525 Conrad, go get the car, we'll be late for class. 718 00:39:04,768 --> 00:39:06,068 Ahh, in a minute. 719 00:39:06,327 --> 00:39:09,880 I got to go out to the barn and give Myrtle her breakfast. 720 00:39:11,928 --> 00:39:13,928 I'll take her a corn flakes box. 721 00:39:16,729 --> 00:39:18,529 I'll pick you up in a few minutes honey child. 722 00:39:20,430 --> 00:39:21,630 Corn flake box? 723 00:39:22,539 --> 00:39:24,639 This seems much more nourishing. 724 00:39:26,332 --> 00:39:29,632 I do believe he thinks more of that goat than he does of me. 725 00:39:31,133 --> 00:39:33,333 What a weekend. 726 00:39:33,834 --> 00:39:37,434 I can just see her gorgeous figure in that bathing suit. 727 00:39:37,865 --> 00:39:39,420 Wow-wee! 728 00:39:44,035 --> 00:39:45,735 Well, your the one alright. 729 00:39:45,736 --> 00:39:48,536 Nobody ever whistled at a goat in a bathing suit. 730 00:39:49,437 --> 00:39:51,337 Except another goat I guess. 731 00:39:52,818 --> 00:39:54,218 Oh, there you are. 732 00:39:54,639 --> 00:39:59,039 If you're not busy, Mr. Kreton, my husband would see you in the study. 733 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:00,640 Gladly. 734 00:40:01,213 --> 00:40:03,184 What are you laughing at dear? 735 00:40:03,252 --> 00:40:06,111 Conrad's goat in a bathing suit. 736 00:40:06,143 --> 00:40:08,843 Oh? Did he buy her a bathing suit? 737 00:40:08,844 --> 00:40:11,244 I didn't know she could swim. 738 00:40:17,145 --> 00:40:19,045 Why don't you hang a red light on that thing, 739 00:40:19,046 --> 00:40:20,446 it's a menace to navigation. 740 00:40:22,247 --> 00:40:24,847 - Good morning, my boy. - Good morning, sir. 741 00:40:24,848 --> 00:40:27,630 I need your advice. I just spoke to New York... 742 00:40:27,633 --> 00:40:29,921 I know. You spoke to George Abercrombie, 743 00:40:29,924 --> 00:40:31,149 and he's on his way here, 744 00:40:31,150 --> 00:40:32,750 he's arriving on the 11 o'clock plane. 745 00:40:32,751 --> 00:40:36,851 How did you...? Oh... You know what I'm thinking. 746 00:40:36,852 --> 00:40:39,452 And right now your pretty worried? 747 00:40:39,453 --> 00:40:40,853 Of course I'm worried. 748 00:40:41,454 --> 00:40:43,054 That fellow's my boss. 749 00:40:43,055 --> 00:40:47,455 Hire and fire, fires and hires, all daylong. 750 00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:53,490 Why did I do that, if never drink before breakfast. 751 00:40:54,557 --> 00:40:56,157 A drink what? What is that? 752 00:40:56,158 --> 00:40:59,158 - Bourbon. - Bourbon? May I try? 753 00:40:59,159 --> 00:41:00,595 I'm afraid you're a little young my boy. 754 00:41:00,660 --> 00:41:02,876 Young? Here's my driver's license. 755 00:41:02,942 --> 00:41:04,542 I have over 21. 756 00:41:05,944 --> 00:41:07,944 21 million light years? 757 00:41:07,947 --> 00:41:11,047 Yes, you should have seen my birthday cake with all the candles. 758 00:41:11,164 --> 00:41:12,864 Burned it to a crisp. 759 00:41:12,865 --> 00:41:15,565 I'd be careful... on an empty stomach. 760 00:41:15,566 --> 00:41:20,066 Really? Then should be a lotta' fun. 761 00:41:20,067 --> 00:41:22,116 Mr. Delton, are you gonna' let him try that stuff? 762 00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,868 I am indeed. It'll teach him a lesson. 763 00:41:24,869 --> 00:41:27,369 Give that kid enough cloud and he'll hang himself. 764 00:41:27,377 --> 00:41:28,309 Good, good. 765 00:41:53,071 --> 00:41:55,671 Wow, that sure was powerful stuff. 766 00:42:04,172 --> 00:42:05,572 Thank you very much. 767 00:42:09,373 --> 00:42:12,073 Now, now, you can talk later. Time for breakfast. 768 00:42:12,074 --> 00:42:14,974 Ellen and Conrad want to drive Mr. Kreton into town with them. 769 00:42:14,975 --> 00:42:17,475 Do you like your bacon crisp Mr. Kreton? 770 00:42:17,476 --> 00:42:18,876 Yes, that'll be fine. 771 00:42:18,877 --> 00:42:21,527 Good. You shouldn't be up there, 772 00:42:21,528 --> 00:42:24,177 you'll get footprints all over the ceiling. 773 00:42:24,178 --> 00:42:27,978 By the way, you can make my eggs, sunny side down. 774 00:42:29,679 --> 00:42:31,979 Now that's silly. 775 00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,980 Now I know what they mean by "being high". 776 00:42:36,981 --> 00:42:38,481 Lets have another one. 777 00:43:00,782 --> 00:43:03,582 Well, begin to understand how they do things on earth. 778 00:43:03,583 --> 00:43:05,383 When Conrad tickles your ear, 779 00:43:05,384 --> 00:43:06,784 that makes the motor go, right? 780 00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:09,985 Conrad, tickling my ear, has nothing to do with the motor. 781 00:43:09,986 --> 00:43:11,486 It has to do with your motor? 782 00:43:11,487 --> 00:43:13,687 You should try it sometime. 783 00:43:14,088 --> 00:43:16,288 Love... its wonderful. 784 00:43:16,289 --> 00:43:17,989 Oh, we gave up ages ago. 785 00:43:17,990 --> 00:43:19,990 Took forever to stamp out diseases, 786 00:43:19,991 --> 00:43:23,891 Scarlet fever, mumps anxiety, common cold and finally, 787 00:43:23,892 --> 00:43:26,092 the great killer: Passion. 788 00:43:26,093 --> 00:43:28,093 You gave up passion? 789 00:43:28,094 --> 00:43:30,394 Yes, we don't feel anything. We don't do anything. 790 00:43:30,395 --> 00:43:33,295 Inside were kind of like... cold spaghetti. 791 00:43:33,796 --> 00:43:36,896 - Sounds terribly dull. - Well, it is, a little. 792 00:43:37,397 --> 00:43:40,097 You go right ahead, Conrad. Don't mind me. 793 00:43:41,798 --> 00:43:44,198 Oh, sorry, I was watching. 794 00:43:52,999 --> 00:43:55,199 Unless we get moving soon were going to be late. 795 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,700 Kreton, you did that. How'd you ever do it? 796 00:44:18,701 --> 00:44:21,001 Very simple. I just thought him into the air. 797 00:44:21,002 --> 00:44:22,502 The next policeman is yours. 798 00:44:22,503 --> 00:44:24,503 - Oh, may I? - Sure! 799 00:44:24,804 --> 00:44:27,904 - Hey, this is fun. - Oh, it sure is. 800 00:44:32,705 --> 00:44:35,105 - This is one mine? - Be my guest. 801 00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:36,806 What do I do? 802 00:44:36,809 --> 00:44:39,497 Just focus all your thoughts on that policeman. 803 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:41,707 - Ellen please. - Conrad, watch this. 804 00:44:45,908 --> 00:44:49,408 - Nothing happened. - That's because your not concentrating. 805 00:44:49,409 --> 00:44:52,609 Now, concentrate. Lift the cop. 806 00:44:53,910 --> 00:44:55,610 Lift the cop. 807 00:45:00,111 --> 00:45:03,411 Conrad! I did it! He moved! He really moved! 808 00:45:03,412 --> 00:45:04,712 That was wonderful, Ellen. 809 00:45:04,713 --> 00:45:06,812 Tomorrow I'll teach you to lift buildings. 810 00:45:06,813 --> 00:45:08,059 Isn't this fun? 811 00:45:08,062 --> 00:45:09,255 Hay! 812 00:45:09,514 --> 00:45:12,114 Would you kindly stop flirting with my girl? 813 00:45:12,115 --> 00:45:14,315 I didn't mean any harm, Conrad. 814 00:45:15,416 --> 00:45:17,716 Inside, cold spaghetti, remember? 815 00:45:17,717 --> 00:45:18,917 Cold spaghetti nothing. 816 00:45:18,918 --> 00:45:20,818 You got a hot chile look in your eye! 817 00:45:26,319 --> 00:45:27,919 Look, look, here he comes. 818 00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,419 Probably end up in jail. 819 00:45:29,820 --> 00:45:32,220 We can't do that. It would spoil our whole day. 820 00:45:32,921 --> 00:45:35,821 Watch him. I'll give him an 8 the easy way. 821 00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,422 You know your way back home, don't you fella? 822 00:45:51,423 --> 00:45:53,423 Well, I found my way to the earth didn't I? 823 00:45:53,431 --> 00:45:56,431 That's a lot easier than finding your way out of a turnpike. 824 00:45:57,625 --> 00:46:00,741 Well... thanks for the car, Conrad. 825 00:46:01,012 --> 00:46:02,609 I'll be careful. 826 00:46:28,226 --> 00:46:31,226 These turnpikes are murder. Ain't they bud? 827 00:46:31,227 --> 00:46:33,227 They're not so bad, just follow me. 828 00:46:51,628 --> 00:46:53,628 Flash! Ladies and gentlemen, 829 00:46:53,629 --> 00:46:56,029 the most remarkable event in the history of Virginia 830 00:46:56,030 --> 00:46:57,730 has just occurred in Manassas. 831 00:46:57,731 --> 00:47:00,131 At exactly 9:37 am, 832 00:47:00,132 --> 00:47:01,732 at the Richmond interchange... 833 00:47:02,085 --> 00:47:04,608 Mary had a wittle wamb. 834 00:47:04,841 --> 00:47:07,708 Its fleece was white as snow 835 00:47:07,852 --> 00:47:10,680 and everywhere that Mary went 836 00:47:10,868 --> 00:47:13,509 the wamb was sure to go. 837 00:47:19,433 --> 00:47:20,933 Hi Clementine. 838 00:47:29,534 --> 00:47:32,634 Hi honey, how are you? 839 00:47:34,135 --> 00:47:35,735 Now what's this all about? 840 00:47:35,736 --> 00:47:39,038 Everyday the same old routine. 841 00:47:39,041 --> 00:47:41,237 And I'm getting pretty tired of it. 842 00:47:41,438 --> 00:47:45,538 Here he comes, the terror of Manassas. 843 00:47:48,039 --> 00:47:50,639 Here here now neighbors should be friends. 844 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,240 I want you two to shake hands. 845 00:47:52,241 --> 00:47:54,741 I positively refuse! 846 00:47:56,442 --> 00:48:00,042 Right in the eye. You call her a lady? 847 00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:01,743 Alright now stop this bickering 848 00:48:01,744 --> 00:48:04,244 and I'm not leaving here until you two kiss and makeup. 849 00:48:04,245 --> 00:48:08,845 I won't kiss him but he can kiss me. 850 00:48:13,246 --> 00:48:15,846 There, now that wasn't so terrible was it. 851 00:48:18,543 --> 00:48:21,343 Dames, she really loves it. 852 00:48:28,048 --> 00:48:29,421 Mrs. Spelding... 853 00:48:29,424 --> 00:48:32,048 Shh! I'm eavesdropping. 854 00:48:32,049 --> 00:48:35,449 Rogers been in there listening to Mr Abercrombie for almost an hour. 855 00:48:35,450 --> 00:48:36,950 I don't like that Ambercrombie. 856 00:48:37,451 --> 00:48:39,951 I'm sure Rogers going to lose his job. 857 00:48:40,552 --> 00:48:43,052 Don't you worry about that Mrs Spelding. 858 00:48:44,253 --> 00:48:46,453 You've made a few mistakes too many old man. 859 00:48:47,554 --> 00:48:49,154 George if you're saying. 860 00:48:49,155 --> 00:48:50,855 I'm saying that viewer wise, 861 00:48:50,856 --> 00:48:53,154 sponsor wise, information wise. 862 00:48:53,155 --> 00:48:56,255 You Spelding are low man on the totem pole. 863 00:48:56,258 --> 00:48:59,758 The flag is down the lifeboats are gone and the ship is sinking. 864 00:49:00,059 --> 00:49:02,759 - And I'm the captain? - But not for long. 865 00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,160 You're going down for the third time. 866 00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:07,061 Who's this joker? 867 00:49:07,062 --> 00:49:09,362 Kreton? Oh, he's a visitor here. 868 00:49:09,847 --> 00:49:11,747 Last night about 7 o'clock 869 00:49:11,881 --> 00:49:14,592 Mary had a wittle wamb its fleece was white as. 870 00:49:14,664 --> 00:49:17,564 Spelding! Are you in your second childhood? 871 00:49:18,519 --> 00:49:21,765 Yes sir, there's no other explanation. 872 00:49:22,166 --> 00:49:26,066 Abercrombie, I've been looking forward to meeting you for a long time. 873 00:49:26,067 --> 00:49:27,467 You've always been A-1 on my ship 874 00:49:27,468 --> 00:49:29,668 ever since the lifeboat went up the totem pole. 875 00:49:30,569 --> 00:49:31,869 I beg your pardon? 876 00:49:31,870 --> 00:49:34,770 What I mean to say man, you're the talk of Madison Avenue. 877 00:49:34,771 --> 00:49:39,271 Oh? Oh well... aren't you exaggerating a trifle? 878 00:49:39,274 --> 00:49:43,257 Not a bit. How about that humdinger of a deal you pulled on 879 00:49:43,258 --> 00:49:45,573 BB. DD. JJ. And W, eh? 880 00:49:46,474 --> 00:49:49,974 You really gave them the old stabbed in the back. Knife wise. 881 00:49:50,675 --> 00:49:52,875 I really pulled a fast one there didn't I. 882 00:49:54,276 --> 00:49:55,276 Wait a minute. 883 00:49:55,277 --> 00:49:58,881 Nobody knew about the BB. DD. JJ. And W deal, not even W. 884 00:49:58,884 --> 00:50:00,381 How did you find out? 885 00:50:00,382 --> 00:50:02,382 Well don't tell me. From my wife. 886 00:50:02,383 --> 00:50:04,017 No! Eloise. 887 00:50:04,020 --> 00:50:06,929 Shh! Nobody knows about Eloise. 888 00:50:06,932 --> 00:50:08,263 Not even your wife. 889 00:50:08,285 --> 00:50:09,485 - Are you sure? - I'm sure. 890 00:50:09,488 --> 00:50:10,459 He's sure. 891 00:50:10,467 --> 00:50:12,374 Oh, good good. 892 00:50:12,387 --> 00:50:14,987 You see when a man has a wife like mine 893 00:50:14,988 --> 00:50:17,788 and Eloise, like Eloise. 894 00:50:17,789 --> 00:50:20,689 Well, he can get in an awful mess. 895 00:50:20,697 --> 00:50:22,697 Would you pardon me, I want to get some more ice. 896 00:50:22,700 --> 00:50:23,270 Sure. 897 00:50:24,189 --> 00:50:26,189 What's he thinking about? Am I going to lose my job? 898 00:50:26,192 --> 00:50:28,792 Very important to get rid of Spelding. 899 00:50:28,793 --> 00:50:30,213 I'm sunk. 900 00:50:30,216 --> 00:50:32,127 Oh no your not. 901 00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:34,019 Oh, eh, Spelding. 902 00:50:34,494 --> 00:50:37,194 I suggest we let this simmer in the pot for a while. 903 00:50:37,195 --> 00:50:40,793 And about that BB. DD. JJ. And W business. 904 00:50:40,794 --> 00:50:43,594 And... Eloise. 905 00:50:43,597 --> 00:50:45,601 This is strictly "entre nous" of course. 906 00:50:45,604 --> 00:50:46,265 Oh of course. 907 00:50:46,296 --> 00:50:47,794 I won't say a word. 908 00:50:47,797 --> 00:50:50,097 No, not as long as you still have your job eh, Mr Spelding. 909 00:50:50,100 --> 00:50:52,100 Oh I get it, blackmail! 910 00:50:52,101 --> 00:50:54,401 It's not bad... blackmail. 911 00:50:54,402 --> 00:50:56,602 No, I use it all the time myself. 912 00:50:57,592 --> 00:51:00,790 You got quite a future in the advertising game young man. 913 00:51:02,408 --> 00:51:03,908 Cheerio. 914 00:51:05,589 --> 00:51:07,889 - Goodbye George. - Oh, goodbye Reba. 915 00:51:07,892 --> 00:51:09,576 Remember me to your charming wife. 916 00:51:10,507 --> 00:51:12,580 Oh, yes of course. 917 00:51:14,868 --> 00:51:17,981 Thanks, my boy. You saved my neck. 918 00:51:17,982 --> 00:51:19,337 Well, I don't like him. 919 00:51:19,340 --> 00:51:20,740 How everything go dear? 920 00:51:20,783 --> 00:51:23,383 Fine, just fine, thanks to our young friend here. 921 00:51:23,384 --> 00:51:25,384 He really straiten old George out. 922 00:51:25,385 --> 00:51:26,985 Glade to have been of service, sir. 923 00:51:28,411 --> 00:51:32,086 Aah. What a great son in law he'd make. 924 00:51:32,587 --> 00:51:35,987 - You mean instead of Conrad? - I certainly do. 925 00:51:35,988 --> 00:51:40,134 I don't know... Sputniks, for grandchildren 926 00:51:40,345 --> 00:51:42,689 but I don't think parents should interfere, 927 00:51:42,690 --> 00:51:47,090 mine didn't or I wouldn't be Mrs. Roger Putnam, Spelding. Goodbye dear. 928 00:51:52,991 --> 00:51:56,400 Conrad, you know what I think we oughta do tonight? 929 00:51:56,447 --> 00:51:59,207 - Get married? - No, silly. 930 00:51:59,238 --> 00:52:01,793 I think we should take Kreton to the "Hungry Brain." 931 00:52:01,796 --> 00:52:04,115 - He might enjoy it. - I wouldn't enjoy it. 932 00:52:04,116 --> 00:52:05,296 Not with him. 933 00:52:05,895 --> 00:52:08,421 - You're jealous. - I can't help it. 934 00:52:08,424 --> 00:52:09,897 Baby doll, marry me. 935 00:52:10,896 --> 00:52:14,295 Darling I can't. Daddy would be furious. 936 00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:16,597 If your daddy thought it would get me out of his bedroom tonight. 937 00:52:16,598 --> 00:52:18,417 He'd forge the wedding license. 938 00:52:18,499 --> 00:52:21,399 Darling, I just can't marry you. 939 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:26,000 Your sweet, but maybe what I really want, 940 00:52:26,001 --> 00:52:30,301 what I really need, is someone to drag me around be the hair. 941 00:52:34,502 --> 00:52:36,402 Oh, you started. Good. 942 00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:39,603 Oh don't mind me, I won't make a sound. 943 00:52:39,604 --> 00:52:42,304 I'll just sit back here and take notes. You go right ahead. 944 00:52:42,305 --> 00:52:45,805 Kreton, we went all through that this morning. 945 00:52:45,808 --> 00:52:48,008 It's not polite to snoop on people. 946 00:52:48,009 --> 00:52:49,526 That's right mister. 947 00:52:49,529 --> 00:52:51,253 Well, I didn't mean any harm. I'm sorry. 948 00:52:51,408 --> 00:52:55,051 Kreton, Conrad and I have decided to take you out tonight. 949 00:52:55,122 --> 00:52:56,466 You decided.. 950 00:52:56,469 --> 00:52:57,632 We decided. 951 00:52:57,635 --> 00:52:58,799 No we didn't. 952 00:52:58,802 --> 00:53:00,182 Yes we did! 953 00:53:00,185 --> 00:53:01,560 Well, I'm not going! 954 00:53:01,570 --> 00:53:03,028 Then will go alone! 955 00:53:03,112 --> 00:53:06,256 Mister, I don't approve of my girl going out with strange men. 956 00:53:06,259 --> 00:53:08,613 Kreton is not strange! 957 00:53:08,646 --> 00:53:10,546 They don't come any stranger! 958 00:53:14,921 --> 00:53:19,321 Kreton, you and I are going to The Hungry Brain tonight. 959 00:53:19,416 --> 00:53:21,016 Oh wonderful! 960 00:53:22,107 --> 00:53:23,107 What is it? 961 00:53:23,218 --> 00:53:26,318 Well, it's our favorite rendezvous. And it's out of this world. 962 00:53:26,319 --> 00:53:28,619 Out of this world? I'd better dress for it. 963 00:53:58,720 --> 00:53:59,763 Well, here we are. 964 00:53:59,766 --> 00:54:01,031 On the moon? 965 00:54:01,034 --> 00:54:02,470 On the moon! No. 966 00:54:02,580 --> 00:54:04,519 No Ellen, The Hungry Brain. 967 00:54:04,522 --> 00:54:05,922 Come on dear. 968 00:54:06,523 --> 00:54:09,623 What's the matter Ellen, you're trembling. Did I drive too fast for you? 969 00:54:09,624 --> 00:54:14,024 No, its just that I never cross the river before without using the bridge. 970 00:54:14,025 --> 00:54:16,625 Kreton, don't you know what Bridges are for? 971 00:54:17,233 --> 00:54:19,594 Yeah, to shade the fish. 972 00:54:25,527 --> 00:54:27,256 Mr. Mayberry. 973 00:54:27,259 --> 00:54:29,329 Thank you! 974 00:54:34,528 --> 00:54:36,028 Let's go. 975 00:54:37,229 --> 00:54:39,132 Man, now that's out. 976 00:54:39,273 --> 00:54:40,630 That's so out, 977 00:54:40,631 --> 00:54:42,431 he ain't never been in. 978 00:55:03,924 --> 00:55:05,724 Well, real old fashioned music. 979 00:55:05,733 --> 00:55:06,733 I think this is going to be fun. 980 00:55:06,734 --> 00:55:08,043 Good evening, Miss. Spelding. 981 00:55:08,046 --> 00:55:08,734 Good evening. 982 00:55:08,735 --> 00:55:10,135 Right this way please. 983 00:55:37,136 --> 00:55:39,236 This cat must be our new leader. 984 00:55:39,537 --> 00:55:41,637 Well, if he ain't, let's elect him. 985 00:55:43,738 --> 00:55:46,658 Crazy. He's a real kook. 986 00:55:46,711 --> 00:55:48,012 Hey kook! 987 00:56:19,740 --> 00:56:23,940 Like uh... who's the new member? 988 00:56:23,941 --> 00:56:26,541 I don't know baby but he sure looks cool. 989 00:56:27,242 --> 00:56:29,442 Welcome to inner space brother. 990 00:56:29,443 --> 00:56:30,443 Thank you. 991 00:56:30,744 --> 00:56:35,044 Say, that's a real crazy looking pair of jeans you have dad. 992 00:56:35,340 --> 00:56:37,245 Who laid the threads on you? 993 00:56:37,246 --> 00:56:38,499 Jeans? Threads? 994 00:56:38,502 --> 00:56:41,247 Like who's your tailor baby and where can we find him? 995 00:56:41,248 --> 00:56:44,248 Oh, my Taylor. Well, do you know where the Milky Way is? 996 00:56:44,249 --> 00:56:45,852 Yeah the... 997 00:56:46,074 --> 00:56:47,768 The Milky Way. 998 00:56:48,020 --> 00:56:50,641 Yeah, yeah the Milky Way. Go baby wale. 999 00:56:50,733 --> 00:56:53,231 Well, you turn right at the second nebula 1000 00:56:53,236 --> 00:56:56,350 and it's the third planet at the end of the star cluster. 1001 00:56:56,353 --> 00:56:59,053 You just ask for Mr De Milo and tell him I sent ya'. 1002 00:56:59,761 --> 00:57:01,561 Man this cat talks off the top. 1003 00:57:02,455 --> 00:57:03,955 He's tuned in. 1004 00:57:03,956 --> 00:57:05,656 Tell me double hipness. 1005 00:57:05,657 --> 00:57:08,556 What floor do you get out of when you split from the cloud. 1006 00:57:08,796 --> 00:57:11,012 Oh we don't use floors. 1007 00:57:11,015 --> 00:57:12,255 You don't use floors? 1008 00:57:12,256 --> 00:57:14,556 Oh no, we use fog. 1009 00:57:14,566 --> 00:57:17,866 It's much softer and far easier to keep clean. 1010 00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:19,960 Quite a group aren't they? 1011 00:57:20,561 --> 00:57:21,961 Oh yes they are. 1012 00:57:22,473 --> 00:57:25,011 Except I'm a little curious Ellen, tell me one thing... 1013 00:57:25,144 --> 00:57:27,363 What are they: Animal, mineral or vegetable? 1014 00:57:27,364 --> 00:57:29,764 There people silly. Beatniks. 1015 00:57:31,665 --> 00:57:35,195 Man, what we're trying to find out is, 1016 00:57:35,242 --> 00:57:37,970 where you planted here or did you come in on the beam? 1017 00:57:39,067 --> 00:57:41,067 He wants to know where you come from? 1018 00:57:41,068 --> 00:57:43,368 Perhaps you'd rather not tell. 1019 00:57:43,369 --> 00:57:46,869 Oh no, I don't mind. I'm sure they won't say anything. 1020 00:57:47,370 --> 00:57:48,800 Oh I'm sorry. 1021 00:57:48,803 --> 00:57:50,670 I come from X-47. 1022 00:57:50,673 --> 00:57:53,373 I live right near that Taylor I told you about. 1023 00:57:53,374 --> 00:57:54,672 Out past the Milky Way. 1024 00:57:54,673 --> 00:57:57,417 Out... past... The Milky Way. 1025 00:57:57,420 --> 00:57:58,375 Past. 1026 00:57:58,674 --> 00:58:01,474 Oh man, this cat really from out of town. 1027 00:58:01,975 --> 00:58:03,675 Alright boys take five. 1028 00:58:15,176 --> 00:58:17,200 Hey man, we've been watching you from the bandstand. 1029 00:58:17,201 --> 00:58:17,876 Oh really? 1030 00:58:17,877 --> 00:58:20,177 Yeah, you look out enough to make it. 1031 00:58:20,178 --> 00:58:22,078 Would you dig wailing with the group? 1032 00:58:22,079 --> 00:58:24,479 Oh well, thank you, but I'm not a musician. 1033 00:58:24,780 --> 00:58:27,080 Although, I think I would like to play those. 1034 00:58:27,081 --> 00:58:28,781 - The skins? - Skins? 1035 00:58:28,782 --> 00:58:30,682 The bongos man! 1036 00:58:30,854 --> 00:58:32,650 Oh yeah, the bongos. 1037 00:58:32,653 --> 00:58:34,590 Crazy, let's make it. 1038 00:58:38,874 --> 00:58:40,674 Like now let's split. 1039 00:58:40,785 --> 00:58:45,285 Well, if it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to play them from here. 1040 00:58:47,886 --> 00:58:50,590 You want to play those... from there? 1041 00:58:50,749 --> 00:58:51,763 Yeah. 1042 00:59:49,279 --> 00:59:51,087 Kreton, how did you do that? 1043 00:59:52,043 --> 00:59:53,085 Oh, uh... 1044 00:59:53,088 --> 00:59:56,013 Well, it's quite simple, see, many, many diffren... 1045 00:59:56,016 --> 00:59:59,499 ♪ Scoobe doobie, swilly a dow. Ah ow? ♪ 1046 00:59:59,710 --> 01:00:02,984 ♪ Oobie doobie cow. ♪ 1047 01:00:03,722 --> 01:00:06,080 ♪ Ooh be do be, dilla bop. ♪ 1048 01:00:07,038 --> 01:00:11,179 ♪ Diddy boo ooya coo. Mop mop! ♪ 1049 01:00:11,897 --> 01:00:14,386 ♪ Flu te flu tits city a twee. ♪ 1050 01:00:14,389 --> 01:00:15,877 ♪ Ot ee. ♪ This is a very sad story. 1051 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:16,587 ♪ Flu te flu tits, twee ♪ this is a very sad story. 1052 01:00:16,590 --> 01:00:18,621 ♪ Flu te flu tits, twee ♪ you see it's all about a girl who 1053 01:00:18,624 --> 01:00:20,888 fell in love with a no good rat nick, 1054 01:00:20,891 --> 01:00:23,607 and it's very touching actually. 1055 01:00:23,610 --> 01:00:24,497 ♪ Oo la ve, ♪ 1056 01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:27,265 ♪ Oo dwi. Ot ot! ♪ 1057 01:00:27,532 --> 01:00:28,952 ♪ Dilly boo-din' flop-n'? ♪ 1058 01:00:28,955 --> 01:00:31,595 ♪ Do ba re ba. Boo a-suya voodoo ♪ 1059 01:00:31,598 --> 01:00:33,721 ♪ foo ya oo ya foo ya oo ya. ♪ 1060 01:00:33,724 --> 01:00:36,895 ♪ Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo! ♪ 1061 01:00:36,902 --> 01:00:38,487 Cuckoo! 1062 01:00:38,490 --> 01:00:42,004 ♪ Scoo be do be Ida bip. Ah ipp? ♪ 1063 01:00:42,558 --> 01:00:44,875 ♪ Scoo be do be fl-ip. ♪ 1064 01:00:46,096 --> 01:00:48,944 ♪ Skoo de do Dee bitty a dop. ♪ 1065 01:00:50,076 --> 01:00:51,881 ♪ Oh video, oh rideo, ♪ 1066 01:00:52,151 --> 01:00:54,261 ♪ Mop mop. ♪ 1067 01:00:54,395 --> 01:00:58,938 A little kids a drop deserted her. Oh my god. Why? 1068 01:00:59,447 --> 01:01:02,125 ♪ Dilla boo din flopa' do boo re ba boo ♪ 1069 01:01:02,128 --> 01:01:05,346 ♪ ya suua' voodoo vooya' ooya coo ya ooya ♪ 1070 01:01:05,347 --> 01:01:09,482 ♪ Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo! ♪ 1071 01:01:09,483 --> 01:01:10,874 . Cuckoo! 1072 01:01:10,877 --> 01:01:12,047 ♪ Scoo be do bee Ida bip. Ah ipp? ♪ Cuckoo! 1073 01:01:12,050 --> 01:01:14,344 ♪ Scoo be do bee Ida bip. Ah ipp? ♪ 1074 01:01:14,448 --> 01:01:17,155 ♪ Scoo be do bee foo lip. ♪ 1075 01:01:18,315 --> 01:01:20,694 ♪ Roo de do de vidia dop. ♪ 1076 01:01:21,697 --> 01:01:23,880 ♪ Oh video, oh rideo, ♪ 1077 01:01:23,952 --> 01:01:27,077 ♪ Mop mop? ♪ 1078 01:01:30,992 --> 01:01:33,092 Oh, I'll be alright. 1079 01:01:33,093 --> 01:01:36,993 It was a lovely number. To bad she left out the best part. 1080 01:01:37,507 --> 01:01:39,407 What part did she leave out? 1081 01:01:40,298 --> 01:01:41,298 The part... 1082 01:01:42,028 --> 01:01:43,980 Where her father makes it like he... 1083 01:01:44,661 --> 01:01:45,879 He doesn't know he did... 1084 01:01:48,984 --> 01:01:51,125 I get all chocked up when I hear... 1085 01:01:58,395 --> 01:02:00,295 Do you mind if I borrow your man? 1086 01:02:00,996 --> 01:02:02,508 No, I won't. 1087 01:02:02,511 --> 01:02:04,896 Life's a drag daddy-o. 1088 01:02:05,084 --> 01:02:06,323 Let's make it. 1089 01:02:06,768 --> 01:02:08,897 Oh, thanks you, but I'm with her. 1090 01:02:08,968 --> 01:02:11,568 No daddy-o, you're with "it". 1091 01:02:17,127 --> 01:02:18,627 Come on, honey. 1092 01:02:19,416 --> 01:02:23,016 Buzz over to my "hive". 1093 01:02:26,401 --> 01:02:29,501 Just watch my hand closely. 1094 01:02:30,602 --> 01:02:35,502 Nooo, you're watching too hard. 1095 01:02:35,503 --> 01:02:37,903 Just cool it man, cool it. 1096 01:02:38,370 --> 01:02:39,097 See. 1097 01:02:43,804 --> 01:02:46,004 - There we go. - Crazy. 1098 01:05:18,005 --> 01:05:20,905 Mr. Delton should see me now. 1099 01:05:20,906 --> 01:05:24,306 I can young man. I see you very well. 1100 01:05:30,507 --> 01:05:33,007 Kreton, you were just wonderful. 1101 01:05:33,008 --> 01:05:35,708 Oh, it wasn't anything. Sometimes you do things 1102 01:05:35,709 --> 01:05:39,181 and your not really aware what's going on because your just doing... 1103 01:05:40,928 --> 01:05:42,802 Ellen, what are you doing under the table? 1104 01:05:42,811 --> 01:05:44,211 - I've had it! - This is ridiculous. 1105 01:05:44,219 --> 01:05:46,819 Shave my beard and call me normal! Let's go! 1106 01:05:47,535 --> 01:05:49,582 Oh I didn't mean it! 1107 01:05:51,219 --> 01:05:52,149 Don't be scared! 1108 01:05:53,341 --> 01:05:54,094 I didn't... 1109 01:05:54,097 --> 01:05:55,215 Wait a minuet. I... 1110 01:05:55,313 --> 01:05:58,113 Kreton, will you come down from there? 1111 01:05:58,114 --> 01:06:02,514 I'm sorry, Ellen, I guess Mr. Delton saw more than I figured. 1112 01:06:10,415 --> 01:06:12,615 What are those cars doing over there? 1113 01:06:12,616 --> 01:06:14,316 That's inspiration point. 1114 01:06:14,317 --> 01:06:17,017 Don't they have a lover's Lane where you come from? 1115 01:06:17,018 --> 01:06:19,118 Oh no. We gave that up a long time ago. 1116 01:06:19,119 --> 01:06:21,219 Along with mahjong and community singing. 1117 01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:25,720 Would you like to go over and... Park for a while? 1118 01:06:25,721 --> 01:06:28,021 Yeah, that might be interesting. 1119 01:06:30,922 --> 01:06:32,522 Hey, kill the lights! 1120 01:06:32,523 --> 01:06:33,523 Turn them off! 1121 01:06:33,524 --> 01:06:34,743 Turn those lights down! 1122 01:06:39,024 --> 01:06:39,672 Turn those lights down! 1123 01:06:39,675 --> 01:06:40,500 Turn off those lights. 1124 01:06:47,925 --> 01:06:50,002 It seems pretty dull to me. 1125 01:06:50,005 --> 01:06:52,525 They're just sitting there and they're not even talking. 1126 01:06:52,526 --> 01:06:55,426 The reason they're not talking is because they're cuddling. 1127 01:06:56,127 --> 01:06:58,527 Look at that gorgeous moon. 1128 01:06:58,528 --> 01:07:00,628 Doesn't the moon mean anything to you? 1129 01:07:00,629 --> 01:07:01,576 Of course. 1130 01:07:01,631 --> 01:07:03,631 Last stop for gas before Mars. 1131 01:07:04,016 --> 01:07:07,230 The moon Kreton, spells romance. 1132 01:07:08,031 --> 01:07:11,131 That boy and that girl they're kissing. 1133 01:07:11,499 --> 01:07:13,118 The moon did that. 1134 01:07:13,788 --> 01:07:15,134 Well now? 1135 01:07:16,433 --> 01:07:18,133 Is kissing really fun? 1136 01:07:18,634 --> 01:07:21,134 Why don't you try it and find out? 1137 01:07:21,241 --> 01:07:23,634 That's a splendid idea. I'll run over and ask them. 1138 01:07:23,637 --> 01:07:26,036 Kreton, theirs no need to make such a long trip. 1139 01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:28,042 Stay here. 1140 01:07:28,890 --> 01:07:30,762 I believe I will try it. 1141 01:07:36,838 --> 01:07:39,538 It is sanitary but it isn't as much fun. 1142 01:07:39,539 --> 01:07:41,539 I'd better get rid of that old barrier. 1143 01:07:56,654 --> 01:07:57,924 Oh, I like that. 1144 01:07:58,734 --> 01:08:00,040 You know something? 1145 01:08:00,041 --> 01:08:01,641 We're going to do that again. 1146 01:08:01,642 --> 01:08:03,542 That's what he think. 1147 01:08:08,943 --> 01:08:12,143 Kreton this will never do, there isn't any "oomph". 1148 01:08:12,444 --> 01:08:15,744 On the contrary, I felt a definite ping in my left vertebrae. 1149 01:08:15,745 --> 01:08:17,385 Let's have another whirl at it. 1150 01:08:18,484 --> 01:08:19,437 Great. 1151 01:08:20,746 --> 01:08:23,246 - Oh boy. - Another ping? 1152 01:08:23,317 --> 01:08:25,717 And a pong and a wing ding dong. 1153 01:08:33,048 --> 01:08:36,548 I melted it. I melted it. It's the real thing. 1154 01:08:37,049 --> 01:08:38,749 I'm in love. 1155 01:08:38,750 --> 01:08:40,950 Exactly as I anticipated. 1156 01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:43,751 - He's become an earthling. - What a wonderful feeling, Ellen. 1157 01:08:43,752 --> 01:08:48,252 He asked for it and I'm afraid he's going to get it. 1158 01:08:52,553 --> 01:08:55,553 - What was that? - I must have blown a fuse. 1159 01:09:23,154 --> 01:09:25,342 - Ellen, do you know why...? - All my fault, 1160 01:09:25,476 --> 01:09:27,355 I should never have let you kiss me. 1161 01:09:27,356 --> 01:09:31,256 Well, Ellen, don't worry, I-I'm gonna do the right thing. 1162 01:09:31,257 --> 01:09:33,657 I'm gonna ask your father, for your hand in marriage. 1163 01:09:33,658 --> 01:09:34,958 Marriage? 1164 01:09:35,859 --> 01:09:37,519 For my hand in...? 1165 01:09:37,769 --> 01:09:40,625 Kreton, do you realize has what you're saying? 1166 01:09:40,663 --> 01:09:42,819 Well of course I realise, Ellen. 1167 01:09:42,961 --> 01:09:45,197 And all the time you thought was a cad. 1168 01:09:45,236 --> 01:09:46,836 Well, coming up? 1169 01:09:46,837 --> 01:09:49,162 No, I think I'll go get some hot milk, 1170 01:09:49,163 --> 01:09:52,459 or cold milk or something. 1171 01:09:52,460 --> 01:09:54,117 I'll see you in the morning, Kreton. 1172 01:09:54,513 --> 01:09:55,645 Happy, Ellen? 1173 01:09:55,668 --> 01:09:58,286 Well, not exactly happy. I'm... 1174 01:09:58,287 --> 01:10:00,365 More ecstatic. Yeah, me too. 1175 01:10:00,366 --> 01:10:02,366 I'm floating on air. 1176 01:10:07,467 --> 01:10:09,245 I heard that outer-space carpetbagger. 1177 01:10:09,248 --> 01:10:10,569 Your not going to marry him. 1178 01:10:10,983 --> 01:10:13,779 - Are you? - Of course not, darling. 1179 01:10:13,943 --> 01:10:16,669 I just don't want to hurt his feelings. 1180 01:10:16,670 --> 01:10:19,070 What about my feelings. I'm human too. 1181 01:10:19,771 --> 01:10:22,471 What do I mean "too", he's not human. Lord knows what he is. 1182 01:10:22,472 --> 01:10:27,072 Well, whatever he is, Kreton is kind and sweet and nice. 1183 01:10:27,822 --> 01:10:29,873 Oh Conrad, what am I going to do? 1184 01:10:30,274 --> 01:10:31,774 You gonna marry me, that's what your gonna do. 1185 01:10:31,775 --> 01:10:33,975 - We're going to elope. - Oh, Conrad. 1186 01:10:33,976 --> 01:10:35,776 Just as soon as I finish this sandwich. 1187 01:10:57,677 --> 01:11:01,577 You know Rags? Ellen and I are really meant for each other. 1188 01:11:02,278 --> 01:11:03,778 It's really true love. 1189 01:11:05,379 --> 01:11:07,379 I know Ellen and I are from different worlds, 1190 01:11:07,380 --> 01:11:08,980 that shouldn't be an obstacle. 1191 01:11:08,981 --> 01:11:11,781 Personally don't believe in mixed marriages. 1192 01:11:11,782 --> 01:11:14,282 - Look at me. - Why, you look just fine. 1193 01:11:14,533 --> 01:11:19,783 Fine? My mother was a Mexican chihuahua and my father, a Labrador retriever. 1194 01:11:19,972 --> 01:11:23,484 How'd you like to walk around with a warm nose and a cold tail. 1195 01:11:24,633 --> 01:11:26,533 Oh Rags, goodnight. 1196 01:11:32,692 --> 01:11:35,728 That poor earthling, Conrad. 1197 01:11:36,258 --> 01:11:38,810 He thinks he's going to elope with Ellen. 1198 01:11:39,687 --> 01:11:41,587 But I know better. 1199 01:11:42,128 --> 01:11:43,788 That's what he thinks. 1200 01:11:43,789 --> 01:11:45,789 And you know what's funny, Rags? 1201 01:11:45,790 --> 01:11:50,890 Mr. Delton doesn't have the slightest idea about what's going on. 1202 01:11:50,891 --> 01:11:52,591 That's what he thinks. 1203 01:11:52,592 --> 01:11:56,792 Mr. Delton thinks that falling in love will get me into trouble. 1204 01:11:56,793 --> 01:12:00,593 That's what he thinks, boy is he wrong. 1205 01:12:00,594 --> 01:12:02,394 That's what he thinks. 1206 01:12:21,986 --> 01:12:24,056 ♪ Ta-ta ta-de-da de da ♪ 1207 01:12:24,756 --> 01:12:27,397 ♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da da ♪ 1208 01:12:30,395 --> 01:12:32,006 Good morning, dear. 1209 01:12:32,731 --> 01:12:34,489 Young ones not down yet? 1210 01:12:36,696 --> 01:12:40,596 Kreton, Conrad, breakfast is ready. 1211 01:12:41,087 --> 01:12:43,386 - Where's Ellen? - I don't know. 1212 01:12:43,497 --> 01:12:45,797 She wasn't in bed when I woke up this morning. 1213 01:12:45,798 --> 01:12:47,978 Neither was Conrad when I woke... up... 1214 01:12:48,811 --> 01:12:51,611 They both must have had early classes today. 1215 01:13:00,719 --> 01:13:04,100 - Good morning, Mr. Spelding. - Good morning, my boy. 1216 01:13:04,101 --> 01:13:07,501 - Well, you in a good mood I see. - Oh, never better. 1217 01:13:07,502 --> 01:13:08,802 Listen to this: 1218 01:13:08,803 --> 01:13:11,639 "The Amalgamated Television Network today renewed" 1219 01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:16,628 "Roger Putnam Spelding's contract for another 5 years." 1220 01:13:16,887 --> 01:13:18,276 It's your work my boy. 1221 01:13:18,277 --> 01:13:20,206 I want you to know that I'm deeply grateful. 1222 01:13:20,207 --> 01:13:22,307 Well, don't mention it... 1223 01:13:22,597 --> 01:13:25,008 - Dad. - Dad? 1224 01:13:25,009 --> 01:13:28,209 - Well, Mr. Spelding... - Yes? 1225 01:13:29,210 --> 01:13:31,645 You see, there comes a time in every spaceman's life, 1226 01:13:31,682 --> 01:13:34,111 when he finally meets the girl of his clouds. 1227 01:13:34,112 --> 01:13:38,412 I've put away enough blue dingles not only to support... 1228 01:13:38,413 --> 01:13:41,113 Roger, Mr. Kreton, come quickly. 1229 01:13:41,114 --> 01:13:45,214 This is actually the uh... point I'm uh... trying to make Mr. Spelding uh... 1230 01:13:45,215 --> 01:13:47,415 You see, Mr. Spelding... oh. 1231 01:13:48,516 --> 01:13:49,716 Now what is it? 1232 01:13:49,717 --> 01:13:52,415 - The most wonderful thing has happened. - What happened? 1233 01:13:52,416 --> 01:13:55,416 They married. Conrad and Ellen are husband and wife. 1234 01:13:55,434 --> 01:13:58,019 - Husband and wife? - They did elope. 1235 01:13:58,020 --> 01:13:59,720 - You see, dad... - Dad!?! 1236 01:13:59,721 --> 01:14:01,921 Mr. Spelding, we just had to get married. 1237 01:14:01,922 --> 01:14:03,522 What do you mean "had to?" 1238 01:14:03,523 --> 01:14:06,223 We couldn't wait another minute. Not with him around. 1239 01:14:06,224 --> 01:14:09,153 - So we eloped. - Eloped you, you, you... 1240 01:14:09,154 --> 01:14:10,519 - Goat herder you. - Ellen! 1241 01:14:10,522 --> 01:14:11,166 Daddy please! 1242 01:14:11,169 --> 01:14:12,995 - I don't know why you but I... - We thought of this... 1243 01:14:12,998 --> 01:14:16,374 Don't get upset, Mr. Spelding, I guess the best man won. 1244 01:14:16,375 --> 01:14:18,053 - Now wait a minuet. - Excuse me dear. 1245 01:14:18,054 --> 01:14:20,316 I don't believe the children have had breakfast. 1246 01:14:20,317 --> 01:14:23,427 - Conrad, you will stay. - I'll be happy to. 1247 01:14:23,885 --> 01:14:28,685 Congratulations, old man, I hope we can still be friends. 1248 01:14:28,929 --> 01:14:31,929 You mean you don't feel "that way" by Ellen? 1249 01:14:31,930 --> 01:14:33,830 Oh, shes like a sister to me. 1250 01:14:34,231 --> 01:14:36,270 A sister, eh, Kreton? 1251 01:14:36,435 --> 01:14:40,035 I'll just show them how you really feel about her. 1252 01:14:43,613 --> 01:14:47,533 Ellen oh, Ellen, you babe with that crazy build. 1253 01:14:47,534 --> 01:14:51,134 I've been watching you shake it around this house 1254 01:14:51,135 --> 01:14:57,735 and you been watching me watching you and its driving me mad. 1255 01:14:58,518 --> 01:14:59,433 Wow! 1256 01:14:59,436 --> 01:15:01,609 Kreton, what are you saying? 1257 01:15:01,612 --> 01:15:03,637 I do not know, someone unzipped my mind. 1258 01:15:03,638 --> 01:15:04,938 Mr. Delton. Please. 1259 01:15:04,939 --> 01:15:07,539 We don't need words honey, not you and me. 1260 01:15:07,540 --> 01:15:10,240 The first time I saw you, bells rang, 1261 01:15:10,241 --> 01:15:12,141 the earth moved. 1262 01:15:12,142 --> 01:15:16,142 It was like there was nobody else in the world. 1263 01:15:16,143 --> 01:15:19,143 Just you and me, and the black burning nights, 1264 01:15:19,144 --> 01:15:21,544 exploiting a thousand roman candles. 1265 01:15:21,545 --> 01:15:26,345 I propose mister that you discontinue this line of thought at once. 1266 01:15:26,346 --> 01:15:29,646 No, no, its fascinating, really. 1267 01:15:29,647 --> 01:15:32,447 But Ellen, I didn't mean a word of it. 1268 01:15:32,448 --> 01:15:34,948 - I, I meant it, but... - What? 1269 01:15:34,949 --> 01:15:38,149 No I didn't mean to say it. Actually, Ellen, I... 1270 01:15:38,150 --> 01:15:42,350 And your hungry eyes, begging me, imploring me and pleading with me, 1271 01:15:42,351 --> 01:15:44,658 to take you in my powerful arms. 1272 01:15:44,661 --> 01:15:45,853 Wow. 1273 01:15:46,952 --> 01:15:48,585 Ellen look, actually this is whole... 1274 01:15:48,586 --> 01:15:51,653 Mister the woman you love happens to be my wife. 1275 01:15:51,654 --> 01:15:55,854 - Conrad, please. - Wait just easy honey. Barrier nothing... 1276 01:15:56,527 --> 01:15:59,655 Conrad... go ahead. 1277 01:16:13,104 --> 01:16:14,362 CONRAD! 1278 01:16:15,249 --> 01:16:16,549 Get up. 1279 01:16:18,657 --> 01:16:20,857 Let him have it, Kreton. 1280 01:16:23,649 --> 01:16:25,058 Bop him one. 1281 01:16:25,458 --> 01:16:27,559 There will be no bopping. 1282 01:16:28,028 --> 01:16:29,482 Stand still. 1283 01:16:30,861 --> 01:16:33,161 It's stuck, Mr. Delton, please, it won't hit. 1284 01:16:33,580 --> 01:16:35,162 - Mine won't hit. - Hit me. 1285 01:16:35,163 --> 01:16:36,563 - Mine does not hit. - Conrad, now stop it. 1286 01:16:36,564 --> 01:16:37,564 Mine don't hit. 1287 01:16:41,065 --> 01:16:43,265 - What's the matter, you a coward? - That's it, yeah. 1288 01:16:43,266 --> 01:16:44,266 Fight! 1289 01:16:45,266 --> 01:16:47,023 Daddy do something. 1290 01:16:47,213 --> 01:16:48,766 With pleasure. 1291 01:16:48,767 --> 01:16:50,836 It don't hit. Its... I'd fight if. 1292 01:16:50,837 --> 01:16:53,468 - Conrad, now please. - Well he started it. 1293 01:17:04,566 --> 01:17:06,969 Whats going on? What happens here? 1294 01:17:06,970 --> 01:17:08,570 What are you all standing around for? 1295 01:17:08,571 --> 01:17:10,071 What are you so excited about? Whats??? 1296 01:17:10,072 --> 01:17:11,872 What's he doing down there? 1297 01:17:11,873 --> 01:17:13,773 I'm hanging up the phone. 1298 01:17:14,035 --> 01:17:15,035 I hit him. 1299 01:17:15,059 --> 01:17:18,074 You... you hit him and you aren't disintegrated? 1300 01:17:18,075 --> 01:17:20,175 I can't understand it. The boy's lost his power. 1301 01:17:20,176 --> 01:17:21,576 Lost his power? 1302 01:17:21,577 --> 01:17:25,477 Then I'm save. I can do my duty. Oh this is a day. 1303 01:17:25,478 --> 01:17:27,578 Haven't you time for a cup of coffee, Bob? 1304 01:17:27,579 --> 01:17:29,779 No, no, not now. Keep him cornered Conrad. 1305 01:17:29,780 --> 01:17:31,280 I'll get the state police right away. 1306 01:17:31,366 --> 01:17:32,572 The National Guard. 1307 01:17:32,628 --> 01:17:34,783 The commander general of the area. 1308 01:17:35,482 --> 01:17:36,582 Excuse me. 1309 01:17:37,523 --> 01:17:39,483 Take it easy, boy, take it easy. We'll get you up. 1310 01:17:39,484 --> 01:17:42,609 We'll get you up out of there, come on, up we go. 1311 01:17:42,610 --> 01:17:44,352 There... there there there. 1312 01:17:44,406 --> 01:17:46,485 I said if you got up I'd hit him again. 1313 01:17:46,886 --> 01:17:49,786 Let me at him. They don't call me the Manassas mauler for nothing. 1314 01:17:50,187 --> 01:17:52,987 - Shut up. - I didn't mean anything... 1315 01:17:52,988 --> 01:17:55,788 - Are you alright? - Oh yes, I'm fine. Thank you. 1316 01:17:55,789 --> 01:17:58,789 Just wet. You see, where I come from we don't feel pain. 1317 01:17:58,792 --> 01:18:01,607 Oh, we feel wet. You'll feel wet water... 1318 01:18:01,635 --> 01:18:03,835 But you don't feel pain. 1319 01:18:03,892 --> 01:18:05,292 That's what he thinks. 1320 01:18:05,293 --> 01:18:07,393 I didn't even feel the slightest twinge of... 1321 01:18:08,794 --> 01:18:10,094 PAIN! 1322 01:18:10,095 --> 01:18:12,795 - What is it? - Oh my arms. Mr. Delton. 1323 01:18:12,796 --> 01:18:16,496 You wanted to be an earthling, my boy, so take everything that goes with it. 1324 01:18:16,497 --> 01:18:18,797 Oh, the leg. Just kick the leg, there's a pain. 1325 01:18:18,798 --> 01:18:20,298 Oh, the back is a pain. 1326 01:18:20,299 --> 01:18:24,199 There's a head... there's a stomach. Oh, the foot is a pain... 1327 01:18:24,784 --> 01:18:26,487 Oh! No more pain! 1328 01:18:27,542 --> 01:18:29,300 Myrtle/Mabel is using the phone gotta use your... 1329 01:18:29,301 --> 01:18:32,001 What you...? After him. Don't let him get away. 1330 01:18:32,702 --> 01:18:35,273 - He's gonna kill me. - Well... Ah! 1331 01:18:39,403 --> 01:18:41,103 Come back and fight like a man. 1332 01:18:41,504 --> 01:18:43,804 You fight your way, I'll fight mine. 1333 01:18:51,105 --> 01:18:52,505 Come on, open up. 1334 01:18:52,835 --> 01:18:54,106 Come out and fight. 1335 01:18:54,107 --> 01:18:56,207 I won't come out and I won't fight. 1336 01:18:56,466 --> 01:18:58,308 Come on open up, you coward. 1337 01:18:58,309 --> 01:19:00,809 That's why I won't come out, I'm a coward. That's it. 1338 01:19:06,310 --> 01:19:07,896 A spaceman, general. 1339 01:19:07,897 --> 01:19:11,111 S-p-a-s-e. I mean: C. 1340 01:19:11,112 --> 01:19:13,312 Yes state police are on their way now, sir. 1341 01:19:13,313 --> 01:19:15,613 Oh, good, good. I hope you can make it, sir. 1342 01:19:17,439 --> 01:19:18,791 Where's a gun? 1343 01:19:18,794 --> 01:19:20,241 - Oh Conrad. - There's a gun. 1344 01:19:20,288 --> 01:19:23,467 Conrad, deserting your post of duty.? 1345 01:19:23,616 --> 01:19:25,616 I need this in case he tries to break out. 1346 01:19:25,617 --> 01:19:28,317 Give me that, it's just a conversation piece any... 1347 01:19:30,418 --> 01:19:32,418 Sure talks loud, don't it? 1348 01:19:34,619 --> 01:19:35,819 Oh, the police. 1349 01:19:35,820 --> 01:19:38,620 Excuse me, I better go make sandwiches and coffee. 1350 01:19:38,934 --> 01:19:40,721 Come on, there's nothing to be afraid of. 1351 01:19:40,722 --> 01:19:42,322 Let's get out there. Come on. 1352 01:19:42,823 --> 01:19:45,223 Well, after you folks. After you. 1353 01:19:45,224 --> 01:19:47,424 I'll stay in back so I can plan our strategy. 1354 01:20:03,225 --> 01:20:05,225 Watch it. Watch it, he's in there. 1355 01:20:06,006 --> 01:20:08,726 He's in there men. He's in there. 1356 01:20:08,727 --> 01:20:10,127 He's in there. 1357 01:20:23,628 --> 01:20:25,028 He's jet propelled. 1358 01:20:27,129 --> 01:20:30,229 No he ain't, it's Myrtle. Myrtle did it. Myrtle you come back here. 1359 01:20:30,616 --> 01:20:31,577 Woa! 1360 01:20:45,930 --> 01:20:47,630 Alright, out of here. 1361 01:20:48,731 --> 01:20:50,831 Out of here. You might get hurt. 1362 01:20:51,932 --> 01:20:53,832 I am hurt. 1363 01:20:54,121 --> 01:20:57,521 All right men, grab a line get moving. Lets go. 1364 01:20:57,971 --> 01:20:59,371 Loudspeaker. 1365 01:21:03,090 --> 01:21:05,381 All right mister, we've got you covered. 1366 01:21:05,382 --> 01:21:07,475 I said, we've got you covered. 1367 01:21:07,506 --> 01:21:09,776 - Sorry. - Certainly. 1368 01:21:10,738 --> 01:21:16,038 Myrtle, hear Myrtle. Where did you go to? Come to papa, you hear? 1369 01:21:16,039 --> 01:21:17,539 Give me that. 1370 01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:20,440 You haven't got a chance. 1371 01:21:20,941 --> 01:21:23,041 Come out with your hands over your head.. 1372 01:21:23,642 --> 01:21:26,742 I said, come out with your hands over your head. 1373 01:21:26,993 --> 01:21:29,543 - Sorry I took so long, dear. - Rheba. 1374 01:21:29,544 --> 01:21:31,444 - Ellen? - No thank you. 1375 01:21:31,445 --> 01:21:33,243 Come out with your hands over your head. 1376 01:21:33,290 --> 01:21:36,246 Officer, egg salad or tuna fish sandwiches? 1377 01:21:36,348 --> 01:21:38,148 Please, ma'am, not now. 1378 01:21:38,391 --> 01:21:39,391 Conrad? 1379 01:21:39,465 --> 01:21:43,517 We mean business, if you don't come out we'll have to use the tear gas. 1380 01:21:44,724 --> 01:21:46,667 Tear gas. That's a good idea. 1381 01:21:47,261 --> 01:21:48,168 Pardon me. 1382 01:22:01,567 --> 01:22:04,367 Their he is men. Watch him. Keep your eyes on him. 1383 01:22:17,468 --> 01:22:20,068 The wind must have changed. It's backfiring. 1384 01:22:20,275 --> 01:22:21,447 Watch yourself. 1385 01:22:23,269 --> 01:22:24,828 Put the women in the cars! 1386 01:22:24,831 --> 01:22:25,820 Roll up the windows! 1387 01:22:26,070 --> 01:22:27,375 Roll them up fast! 1388 01:22:27,419 --> 01:22:28,763 Myrtle. 1389 01:22:30,607 --> 01:22:31,826 Myrtle. 1390 01:22:33,203 --> 01:22:34,273 Myrtle. 1391 01:22:36,276 --> 01:22:37,331 Myrtle. 1392 01:22:42,771 --> 01:22:46,071 I can still fly. I can still fl... yow. 1393 01:22:52,072 --> 01:22:54,472 Come down out of that barn, mister. 1394 01:22:54,473 --> 01:22:55,973 I am out. 1395 01:23:10,493 --> 01:23:11,893 I'm going in. 1396 01:23:12,775 --> 01:23:15,375 The general doesn't want us to rush the place until he gets here. 1397 01:23:15,576 --> 01:23:17,676 He's on the way with a Life Photographer. 1398 01:23:23,077 --> 01:23:26,477 You naughty spaceship, you shouldn't go away without me. 1399 01:23:26,478 --> 01:23:31,300 Wait, wait, slow down. Slows down your gonna get me s... ohh. 1400 01:23:40,816 --> 01:23:43,979 Oh, I'm sorry. Hello, Mr. Delton. It's your ship. 1401 01:23:43,980 --> 01:23:45,355 Had enough, young man? 1402 01:23:45,380 --> 01:23:47,980 Oh, yes indeed. Yes sir. I've had it. 1403 01:23:47,981 --> 01:23:51,081 Well, you always wanted to be an earthling and now you know what its like. 1404 01:23:51,082 --> 01:23:53,682 Felt the pain of love, the pain jealousy... 1405 01:23:53,683 --> 01:23:55,609 And the pain of pain. And that is the worst pain. 1406 01:23:55,612 --> 01:23:58,884 This is a crazy mixed up planet, Mr. Delton. I'd like to get out of here. 1407 01:23:58,885 --> 01:24:00,485 And you'll never come back again? 1408 01:24:00,486 --> 01:24:03,486 Never. I promise. The furthest I'll never go is the moon. 1409 01:24:03,487 --> 01:24:05,787 You've learnt a good lesson, my boy. 1410 01:24:05,788 --> 01:24:10,088 Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side of the universe. 1411 01:24:10,089 --> 01:24:12,689 So keep your nose out of other people's planets. 1412 01:24:12,690 --> 01:24:14,690 And from now on, I will. 1413 01:24:17,091 --> 01:24:20,791 Sorry, Mr. Delton, I hit my... 1414 01:24:32,070 --> 01:24:33,781 - Mr. Mayberry? - Sir. 1415 01:24:33,798 --> 01:24:35,098 Wheres that man space? 1416 01:24:36,594 --> 01:24:41,294 Spaceman general? There ain't no such animal. 1417 01:24:46,295 --> 01:24:49,495 So long, earth. It been lots of... 1418 01:24:50,958 --> 01:24:51,864 Mr. Delton. 1419 01:24:52,996 --> 01:24:54,296 Oh, Mr. Delton! 1420 01:24:56,497 --> 01:24:58,797 Mr. Delton help. 1421 01:24:59,298 --> 01:25:02,998 Help! Mr. Del-ton! 1422 01:25:04,182 --> 01:25:05,159 Help me! 1423 01:25:13,084 --> 01:25:17,084 Subtitles By: MightyMike77020 1424 01:25:18,090 --> 01:25:21,090 Please leave your comments, at http://subscene.com/u/759958/subtitles they are appreciated.