1
00:02:19,446 --> 00:02:24,737
Tell me, how'd a nice girl like you
get into a racket like this?
2
00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:29,696
I was studying at the Paris Conservatory.
I was going to be a concert pianist.
3
00:02:29,831 --> 00:02:32,868
Chopin and Debussy, and like that.
4
00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:37,580
And then the night of my first recital,
the piano cover fell on my hand.
5
00:02:37,714 --> 00:02:41,048
Three broken fingers and a broken dream.
6
00:02:42,344 --> 00:02:44,502
After that I didn't care what happened...
7
00:02:44,638 --> 00:02:48,386
...as long as I could feed
myself and my little dog.
8
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:53,938
Thank you.
9
00:03:37,774 --> 00:03:40,396
Do you mind if I ask you
a personal question?
10
00:03:40,527 --> 00:03:44,988
You mean, why does a girl like me
have to do this for a living?
11
00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:50,406
Well, actually, I'm Belgian. My parents
were missionaries in the Congo.
12
00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:54,364
I don't wanna talk about that.
13
00:03:54,499 --> 00:03:58,912
- I understand.
- So now there's just me and my sister.
14
00:03:59,046 --> 00:04:03,043
She's in the hospital.
Needs three transfusions a day.
15
00:04:03,175 --> 00:04:06,875
D'you know how much
a pint of blood costs these days?
16
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:10,219
Thank you.
17
00:04:57,479 --> 00:05:00,433
Sorry, pooch. What's his name?
18
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,642
Her name. Coquette.
19
00:05:02,776 --> 00:05:07,319
- And what's yours?
- Irma. They call me Irma la Douce.
20
00:05:07,447 --> 00:05:10,863
That means Irma the Sweet.
I don't know why.
21
00:05:11,535 --> 00:05:15,615
I know why. How much is that, in dollars?
22
00:05:15,747 --> 00:05:19,496
Five dollars. Actually,
I don't even know my real name.
23
00:05:19,626 --> 00:05:23,706
I was brought up in an orphanage near
Cherbourg - it was destroyed on D-day.
24
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:28,999
I've been sending money to help rebuild
it. I've already paid for a whole wing.
25
00:05:30,387 --> 00:05:31,430
Uh...
26
00:05:31,763 --> 00:05:34,301
That's all I have on me, ma'am.
27
00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:38,893
Actually, it was bombed by the Eighth Air
Force. Not that I blame you Americans.
28
00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:43,647
But if you could see those poor orphans,
sleeping on the floor, the rain coming in.
29
00:05:43,775 --> 00:05:46,231
There are no beds yet and no roof.
30
00:05:48,488 --> 00:05:49,531
Uh...
31
00:05:50,657 --> 00:05:53,528
Do y'all take traveller's cheques?
32
00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:34,105
This, then,
is the story of Irma la Douce.
33
00:06:34,243 --> 00:06:38,905
A story of passion,
bloodshed, desire and death.
34
00:06:39,039 --> 00:06:42,906
Everything, in fact,
that makes life worth living.
35
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:49,125
The place is Paris, the time
is five o'clock in the morning.
36
00:06:53,053 --> 00:06:57,265
You may have read in travel folders
that Paris is a city that never sleeps.
37
00:06:57,391 --> 00:06:59,846
Don't you believe it.
38
00:07:02,437 --> 00:07:05,225
At this time of the day
there is nothing doing...
39
00:07:05,357 --> 00:07:09,485
... unless you're working for
the department of sanitation.
40
00:07:12,406 --> 00:07:16,106
If you want a nightcap
at Maxim's, it's too late.
41
00:07:16,243 --> 00:07:18,698
It's been closed for hours.
42
00:07:21,456 --> 00:07:25,324
If you want to jump off
the Eiffel Tower, it's too early.
43
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:27,916
It won't be open for hours.
44
00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:34,340
So, if you're looking for a little action,
forget the high-rent district.
45
00:07:34,469 --> 00:07:37,838
You'd better come to our neighborhood.
46
00:07:38,265 --> 00:07:42,179
This is Les Halles,
the wholesale food market.
47
00:07:42,311 --> 00:07:45,265
We call it the stomach of Paris.
48
00:07:51,612 --> 00:07:54,566
Keep your Champs Élysées
and your palace in Versailles.
49
00:07:54,698 --> 00:08:01,032
This is the place for me..
Brawling, vulgar, smelly, but alive.
50
00:08:06,168 --> 00:08:09,868
Beef from Charollais,
pork from Périgord...
51
00:08:10,005 --> 00:08:13,172
... lamb from Brittany, veal from Normandy.
52
00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:21,430
Brains and kidneys and tripe.
53
00:08:21,558 --> 00:08:25,852
Pigs' feet and calves' heads
waiting for sauce vinaigrette.
54
00:08:28,982 --> 00:08:33,110
Salmon from the Loire,
sole from the Channel...
55
00:08:33,237 --> 00:08:35,395
... lobsters from Corsica...
56
00:08:35,531 --> 00:08:39,315
... oysters from Dieppe,
sardines from Lorient.
57
00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:44,619
Asparagus from Argenteuil,
oranges from Valencia...
58
00:08:44,748 --> 00:08:48,698
... melons from Cavaillon,
cabbage from Aubervilliers.
59
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:53,003
But man does not live by cabbage alone.
60
00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:59,883
And if that's what you're in the market for,
just step into the Rue Casanova.
61
00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:04,093
This is where the girls are,
or, as we say, the "poules".
62
00:09:04,226 --> 00:09:07,180
You can have your choice of
Kiki the Cossack, Amazon Annie...
63
00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:10,812
... Lolita, Suzette Wong,
Mimi the Maumau...
64
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:13,610
... and then, of course,
there's Irma la Douce.
65
00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:17,270
She was born here, in Les Halles,
in a truck behind the fish market.
66
00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:22,198
Like all the others, she takes her coffee
break in the bistro across the street.
67
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:26,411
This is the owner.
He is known as Moustache.
68
00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:29,707
According to police records,
he is a Romanian chicken thief...
69
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:33,168
... named Constantinescu,
but when he bought this place...
70
00:09:33,297 --> 00:09:36,962
... it was called "Chez Moustache" and
it was cheaper to grow a moustache...
71
00:09:37,092 --> 00:09:39,761
... than to buy a new sign.
72
00:09:39,887 --> 00:09:44,347
Sometimes, at dawn, rich slummers
drop in for a bowl of onion soup.
73
00:09:44,474 --> 00:09:49,469
But mostly the clientele consists
of the "poules" and their "macs".
74
00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:54,305
You know what a "mac" is?
How do you say it in English?
75
00:09:54,443 --> 00:09:58,191
A protector, a consort,
a business manager?
76
00:09:58,322 --> 00:10:01,488
Well, stick around, you'll get the idea.
77
00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:12,617
- How are we doin'?
- Not bad.
78
00:10:14,254 --> 00:10:18,086
Mostly tips. I had
some real pigeons tonight.
79
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:21,134
- Sometimes I wish you were twins.
- Thanks.
80
00:10:21,929 --> 00:10:24,929
- What's that?
- What's what? Oh, that.
81
00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:28,260
The last one didn't have any more money,
so he gave me a cheque.
82
00:10:28,393 --> 00:10:30,719
Now is that nice, Irma,
holding out on me?
83
00:10:30,854 --> 00:10:34,188
- It's only ten dollars.
- And you weren't gonna tell me about it?
84
00:10:34,316 --> 00:10:37,400
I was gonna put it down
as a deposit, on a hair dryer.
85
00:10:37,528 --> 00:10:41,656
A hair dryer?! We're partners, Irma.
You wouldn't wanna cheat me?
86
00:10:41,782 --> 00:10:45,115
- Let go, Hippolyte.
- There's such a thing as ethics.
87
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:46,987
You're hurting me, you big ox!
88
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,904
If you don't like the way I treat you,
why don't you get yourself another guy?
89
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:54,742
- I will one of these days.
- Why wait? Why not leave me now?
90
00:10:55,796 --> 00:10:58,121
I'd take her any time.
91
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:01,008
Oh, you would?
92
00:11:01,134 --> 00:11:04,503
- It was just a joke, Hippolyte.
- A joke?
93
00:11:04,638 --> 00:11:07,094
So how come nobody's laughing?
94
00:11:18,694 --> 00:11:20,733
Now go back to work.
95
00:11:21,446 --> 00:11:22,489
Ox.
96
00:11:29,037 --> 00:11:32,241
And so it was one big,
happy family around here..
97
00:11:32,374 --> 00:11:35,541
The "macs", the "poules" and the "flics"...
98
00:11:35,669 --> 00:11:38,125
... or as you would say, the cops.
99
00:11:53,562 --> 00:11:57,476
Your statesmen and politicians keep
talking about peaceful coexistence...
100
00:11:57,608 --> 00:12:01,273
... but here, in our milieu,
we really practise it.
101
00:12:01,403 --> 00:12:05,317
The attitude of the police
is live and let live.
102
00:12:05,449 --> 00:12:08,865
And some of them make
a pretty good living at it.
103
00:12:13,207 --> 00:12:16,991
Every other Friday the "flics" would raid
Rue Casanova, just for the record.
104
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:20,828
A few "poules" would be hauled to
the station, they'd pay a small fine...
105
00:12:20,964 --> 00:12:24,832
... and 24 hours later
they'd be back on the street.
106
00:12:26,094 --> 00:12:28,882
It was a nice, friendly,
civilised arrangement.
107
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:32,430
Everybody looked the other way,
everybody kept his mouth shut...
108
00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:36,557
... nobody got hurt,
except maybe an occasional fly.
109
00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:41,473
And then, one day, disaster.
110
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:44,694
An honest policeman came on the beat.
111
00:14:27,549 --> 00:14:31,879
Coquette. Come here, Coquette.
You naughty girl.
112
00:14:32,012 --> 00:14:34,135
Pardon me, do you have a licence?
113
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:38,214
- A licence? No.
- It's a violation of ordinance number 56.
114
00:14:38,352 --> 00:14:40,640
Oh, usually they let us get away with it.
115
00:14:40,771 --> 00:14:44,721
Not me. And according to the law,
you're supposed to keep it on a leash.
116
00:14:44,858 --> 00:14:46,898
On a leash?
117
00:14:47,027 --> 00:14:49,981
Oh! Oh, of course.
118
00:14:50,113 --> 00:14:52,984
- I'll remember that.
- Now, just a moment.
119
00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:58,990
What are all you girls doing around here
at this hour of the morning?
120
00:14:59,122 --> 00:15:01,329
I don't know about them,
I'm walking my dog.
121
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:04,329
- Oh, I see.
- I have to take her out all the time.
122
00:15:04,461 --> 00:15:07,332
- She has kidney stones.
- That's a shame.
123
00:15:08,382 --> 00:15:11,964
Look, it... if you
don't mind my saying so...
124
00:15:15,889 --> 00:15:17,929
Oh, I'm sorry.
125
00:15:19,768 --> 00:15:22,603
I've never seen a girl
in green stockings before.
126
00:15:22,729 --> 00:15:25,351
It matches the ribbon and my underwear.
127
00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:27,938
Green underwear?
128
00:15:28,652 --> 00:15:32,151
- You're new around here, aren't you?
- It's my first day.
129
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:35,032
- I thought so.
- I've been on the force for six months.
130
00:15:35,158 --> 00:15:38,859
I was stationed at the Bois de Boulogne,
by the lake, where the children play?
131
00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:42,199
- That's where I got this medal.
- For keeping kids off the grass?
132
00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:45,369
I saved a boy from drowning,
mouth-to-mouth respiration.
133
00:15:45,502 --> 00:15:49,120
So they thought I was ready for
bigger things and transferred me here.
134
00:15:49,256 --> 00:15:53,040
- Well, you're going to like it here.
- I'm not so sure.
135
00:15:56,847 --> 00:15:59,552
If I were you, I'd exercise
that dog somewhere else.
136
00:15:59,683 --> 00:16:02,352
- Why?
- Those girls over there.
137
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:05,890
Something tells me they're streetwalkers.
138
00:16:06,023 --> 00:16:10,435
- No?
- Yes. I can spot 'em six blocks away.
139
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:14,987
Say, Irma, I just got off work,
so if you're not busy...
140
00:16:15,115 --> 00:16:19,065
- I beg your pardon?
- It's me, André, wholesale artichokes.
141
00:16:19,203 --> 00:16:21,444
- I don't need any.
- What the matter with you?
142
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,703
You want me to take my business to Kiki?
143
00:16:23,832 --> 00:16:27,960
- Is this man annoying you?
- It's all right. Not now. Come back later.
144
00:16:28,086 --> 00:16:30,838
Later? I've only got a half-hour.
145
00:16:31,715 --> 00:16:34,586
Look, Officer, there's
a truck double-parked there.
146
00:16:34,718 --> 00:16:37,719
- Now, why don't you do your duty?
- Maybe I will.
147
00:16:37,846 --> 00:16:40,764
- He takes his work very seriously.
- I try.
148
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:45,884
- See you again sometime.
- I wouldn't be surprised.
149
00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:23,635
- What'll it be, Officer? Cognac?
- No, no. I never drink when I'm on duty.
150
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:29,390
In fact, I never drink when I'm off duty.
Maybe just a little glass of Vichy water.
151
00:17:34,278 --> 00:17:37,444
Looking for something, Officer?
152
00:17:38,782 --> 00:17:42,910
- What do you know about that hotel?
- Casanova slept there in 1763.
153
00:17:43,036 --> 00:17:46,737
I'm not talking about 1763. Since
I've been here, four couples walked in.
154
00:17:46,874 --> 00:17:49,365
Monday is always a slow night.
155
00:17:50,711 --> 00:17:54,791
Just between us, would you have even
a vague idea what they're doing in there?
156
00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:58,257
I have a very definite idea.
They're making love.
157
00:17:58,385 --> 00:18:01,339
- That's illegal.
- Shows you the kind of world we live in.
158
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,797
Love is illegal, but not hate.
159
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:06,470
That you can do anywhere,
anytime, to anybody.
160
00:18:06,602 --> 00:18:11,264
But if you want a little warmth, a shoulder
to cry on, a smile to cuddle up with...
161
00:18:11,398 --> 00:18:14,767
...you have to hide in dark corners
like a criminal. Pfui!
162
00:18:15,068 --> 00:18:19,565
- I wouldn't call that love.
- Spoken like a petit bourgeois.
163
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,570
It's flagrant vice
and must be stamped out.
164
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:27,078
My dear boy, your thinking is not
only fuzzy, it's economically unsound.
165
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:29,364
And I know what I'm talking about.
166
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:32,251
I used to be professor
of economics at the Sorbonne.
167
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:35,129
- A professor?
- For six years, but that's another story.
168
00:18:35,255 --> 00:18:39,253
Then you should agree decent citizens
have a right to be protected from this.
169
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:43,963
Let's take one, married for 20 years,
works hard all day selling baby carriages.
170
00:18:44,097 --> 00:18:46,767
In the evening he wants
a little fun, companionship.
171
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:51,305
So he comes to Rue Casanova. He meets
a girl, she gives him companionship...
172
00:18:51,438 --> 00:18:54,356
...he gives her money.
She gives it to her boyfriend...
173
00:18:54,483 --> 00:18:58,563
...the boyfriend spends it on drinks,
on cuff links, at the racetrack.
174
00:18:58,695 --> 00:19:03,025
Sometimes he even pays
a little money to a policeman.
175
00:19:03,158 --> 00:19:05,649
- Bribe a policeman?
- That's the beauty of it.
176
00:19:05,786 --> 00:19:09,321
The policeman takes it and buys
a baby carriage from the decent citizen.
177
00:19:09,456 --> 00:19:11,662
Thusly, money is kept in circulation.
178
00:19:11,792 --> 00:19:14,247
Everybody's prosperous,
everybody's happy.
179
00:19:14,378 --> 00:19:16,536
- I don't believe it.
- It's elementary.
180
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:19,507
I don't believe there are
policemen who take money.
181
00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:21,839
Oh, not all policemen take money.
182
00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:26,262
Some of the higher-ups have a more
intimate arrangement with the girls.
183
00:19:26,390 --> 00:19:30,553
Well, there's one policeman
around here who isn't corrupt.
184
00:19:39,736 --> 00:19:43,022
You wouldn't know the number
of the police station, would you?
185
00:19:43,156 --> 00:19:47,700
Central 5288. But I wouldn't be
so impetuous if I were you.
186
00:19:47,828 --> 00:19:49,867
Have your Vichy.
187
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:04,423
Desk sergeant? It's Officer Patou. I want
a police van sent to the Hotel Casanova.
188
00:20:04,553 --> 00:20:07,756
Violation of section 34
of the criminal code.
189
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:12,101
Not littering the sidewalks, that's section
43. This is lewd and immoral conduct.
190
00:20:12,227 --> 00:20:16,225
There goes another couple.
I'm gonna raid the place.
191
00:20:20,277 --> 00:20:22,186
You're asking for trouble, my friend.
192
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:26,401
To be too honest in a dishonest world is
like plucking a chicken against the wind.
193
00:20:26,533 --> 00:20:29,902
You'll only wind up
with a mouthful of feathers.
194
00:20:30,037 --> 00:20:32,706
Don't worry, old man.
I know what I'm doing.
195
00:20:53,227 --> 00:20:55,896
- Do you have a fire alarm here?
- Oh, a fire?
196
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,346
Oh, yes. It's right over there.
197
00:20:58,482 --> 00:21:01,851
Yes, Officer.
Oh, it's in perfect working order.
198
00:21:05,322 --> 00:21:07,694
Wh... wh... where is the fire?
199
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:12,075
Right here.
200
00:21:12,829 --> 00:21:14,869
Oh, no, that's hot! It's hot!
201
00:21:17,167 --> 00:21:21,165
Oh, no, you don't. You're under arrest.
202
00:21:27,344 --> 00:21:31,757
All right! All right, everybody.
Everybody, the party's over!
203
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:35,093
- Girls on this side, men over here.
- Hey, what is this?
204
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:36,686
- A raid.
- On a Monday?
205
00:21:36,812 --> 00:21:40,347
- It's supposed to be every other Friday.
- Can I go and get my stockings?
206
00:21:40,482 --> 00:21:42,771
- No. Come on.
- You oughta pay me half.
207
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:45,855
- It wasn't my fault.
- I don't know what she's talkin' about.
208
00:21:45,988 --> 00:21:49,487
- I was up there unpacking my samples.
- Come on.
209
00:21:49,616 --> 00:21:50,659
Over.
210
00:21:53,172 --> 00:21:56,671
You oughta be ashamed of yourself,
scaring a poor dog like that.
211
00:21:56,801 --> 00:22:01,462
They ought to take that dog away
from you - you're not a fit mother.
212
00:22:01,597 --> 00:22:03,839
Quiet, quiet!
213
00:22:03,974 --> 00:22:07,059
I'll let you men go. We'll need you
as witnesses. Your name?
214
00:22:07,186 --> 00:22:09,641
Jacques Casanova.
215
00:22:10,106 --> 00:22:12,941
- What's yours?
- André Casanova.
216
00:22:13,067 --> 00:22:17,314
- I suppose you're Pierre Casanova?
- No, I am General Lafayette.
217
00:22:17,446 --> 00:22:18,561
Retired.
218
00:22:18,697 --> 00:22:21,864
- All right, let's start all over again.
- And what's your name?
219
00:22:21,992 --> 00:22:25,444
I'm Officer... Just a moment,
who's investigating, you or me?
220
00:22:25,579 --> 00:22:27,821
It's an outrage. I'll see you lose your job.
221
00:22:27,957 --> 00:22:30,495
- Shut up.
- Do you know who you're talking to?
222
00:22:30,626 --> 00:22:34,161
Trying to bribe an officer, eh?
223
00:22:41,220 --> 00:22:46,131
Back. Everybody, back. All right,
OK, ladies, let's go. Come on. Back.
224
00:22:46,767 --> 00:22:49,389
- In we go.
- Not so rough.
225
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,559
- Up, up, up.
- Watch that baton.
226
00:22:51,689 --> 00:22:54,310
- Don't handle the merchandise.
- In you get.
227
00:22:54,442 --> 00:22:56,600
- Take it easy, you.
- Come on.
228
00:22:56,735 --> 00:22:59,405
Let's go, let's go. Come on. Here we go.
229
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:02,235
Let's go now. Here we go. Just a minute.
230
00:23:02,366 --> 00:23:06,031
- No smoking in a police van.
- Who do you think you are? De Gaulle?
231
00:23:06,162 --> 00:23:09,365
- Inside. Come on, come on.
- What do they expect us to do now?
232
00:23:09,498 --> 00:23:13,116
- Collect unemployment insurance?
- It's that new flic.
233
00:23:13,252 --> 00:23:17,713
One of these days I'm gonna
catch him outta uniform, and then...
234
00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:20,499
Up, up, up. Let's go.
235
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,175
Who does this belong to?
236
00:23:56,462 --> 00:23:59,131
Officer, would you zip my dress up?
237
00:24:00,883 --> 00:24:03,339
Will you hold this, please?
238
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,523
Hey!
239
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:37,368
Say, Officer, do you really
have to take us to the station?
240
00:24:37,503 --> 00:24:40,623
The last time we were arrested,
we drove right on to Deauville.
241
00:24:40,756 --> 00:24:43,294
What a weekend!
18 girls and three policemen.
242
00:24:43,425 --> 00:24:46,462
And they weren't nearly
as cute as you are.
243
00:24:50,349 --> 00:24:53,433
- Wouldn't ya like a harem?
- We'll make you feel like a king.
244
00:24:53,561 --> 00:24:55,600
King Farouk.
245
00:24:56,397 --> 00:24:59,018
Oh, look, he's blushing.
246
00:24:59,733 --> 00:25:03,067
- I guess he's too young.
- Maybe if we put a moustache on him...
247
00:25:03,195 --> 00:25:05,603
...he'd look older.
248
00:25:06,407 --> 00:25:08,613
All right, all right!
249
00:25:08,742 --> 00:25:12,954
One false move out of any one of ya,
and I'm gonna let you have it.
250
00:25:14,123 --> 00:25:16,578
That's enough, girls! Leave him alone.
251
00:25:16,709 --> 00:25:18,951
- He can take care of himself.
- No, he can't.
252
00:25:19,086 --> 00:25:23,250
You know what he was doing before this?
Policing a children's playground.
253
00:25:23,382 --> 00:25:26,051
Now, now, kids, stay out of the bushes.
254
00:25:26,177 --> 00:25:30,305
- Don't take candy from strangers.
- And no playing doctor.
255
00:25:31,515 --> 00:25:34,931
~ Little birdie, pretty little birdie ~
256
00:25:35,060 --> 00:25:38,560
~ Little birdie, fly away with me ~
257
00:25:38,689 --> 00:25:42,354
~ We will build a little nest
We will build a little nest ~
258
00:25:42,485 --> 00:25:44,145
~ Get the best
Get the best ~
259
00:25:44,278 --> 00:25:46,318
~ In my nest
In my nest ~
260
00:26:28,447 --> 00:26:30,736
- Here, you dropped this.
- Oh, thank you.
261
00:26:30,866 --> 00:26:33,820
- You're the only nice one.
- They were just pulling your leg.
262
00:26:33,953 --> 00:26:36,823
And it almost came off.
Sorry I have to put you in jail.
263
00:26:36,956 --> 00:26:39,873
Oh, I don't mind. I can use a little rest.
264
00:26:51,387 --> 00:26:55,515
Oh. Officer Nestor Patou checking in
16 females suspected of lewd vagrancy.
265
00:26:56,892 --> 00:27:00,593
- And one poodle.
- How many? 16?
266
00:27:00,729 --> 00:27:03,647
Yes, Monday is a slow night,
but I'll do better next time.
267
00:27:03,774 --> 00:27:06,016
- You will, huh?
- Definitely.
268
00:27:10,656 --> 00:27:11,907
Hello?
269
00:27:18,581 --> 00:27:22,281
About the little one - don't worry,
we'll feed her around here.
270
00:27:22,418 --> 00:27:25,335
Thank you, but none of that
horse meat you give police dogs.
271
00:27:25,463 --> 00:27:29,377
- She's got kidney stones, remember?
- Hey, Patou!
272
00:27:29,508 --> 00:27:33,126
- The inspector wants to see you.
- The inspector? Did you hear that?
273
00:27:33,262 --> 00:27:36,548
- The inspector wants to see me.
- Maybe they've given you a medal.
274
00:27:36,682 --> 00:27:39,007
Do you think so? No, not on my first day.
275
00:27:39,143 --> 00:27:41,182
- In there.
- All right.
276
00:27:45,858 --> 00:27:47,526
Come in!
277
00:27:53,866 --> 00:27:56,701
Officer Patou reporting.
You sent for me... sir.
278
00:27:56,827 --> 00:27:58,903
- So you're the new man?
- Yes, sir.
279
00:27:59,038 --> 00:28:01,114
I've been wondering what you looked like.
280
00:28:01,248 --> 00:28:03,537
- Well, you've seen me before.
- I have?
281
00:28:03,667 --> 00:28:05,743
Remember? At the Hotel Casanova.
282
00:28:05,878 --> 00:28:08,084
What was I doing at the Hotel Casanova?
283
00:28:08,214 --> 00:28:12,342
- I don't know, but I was raiding the place.
- You were. Who authorised the raid?!
284
00:28:12,468 --> 00:28:17,462
I was using my own judgement, sir. It
was an obvious violation of section 34.
285
00:28:17,598 --> 00:28:20,219
We can get a conviction,
now we have you as a witness.
286
00:28:20,351 --> 00:28:23,020
And look at your uniform! It's disgraceful!
287
00:28:23,145 --> 00:28:26,728
There were 16 of them in the van,
and they were resisting arrest, sir.
288
00:28:26,857 --> 00:28:28,980
And I was resisting, too.
289
00:28:29,110 --> 00:28:31,897
I didn't lose my head,
just my gun, but I got it back.
290
00:28:32,029 --> 00:28:35,113
- Take off your cap when talking to me!
- Yes, sir.
291
00:28:58,389 --> 00:29:02,221
Hey, chéri, you oughta
get outta those wet clothes.
292
00:29:03,018 --> 00:29:05,058
I'll help you.
293
00:29:05,646 --> 00:29:07,639
Look who's here.
294
00:29:07,773 --> 00:29:10,774
~ Little birdie, pretty little birdie ~
295
00:29:10,901 --> 00:29:13,986
~ Little birdie, fly away with me ~
296
00:29:20,327 --> 00:29:22,154
A glass of Vichy, right?
297
00:29:22,288 --> 00:29:27,080
Cognac, please, to get the taste
of feathers out of my mouth.
298
00:29:27,209 --> 00:29:30,874
~ Little birdie, pretty little birdie ~
299
00:29:31,005 --> 00:29:34,705
~ Little birdie, fly away with me ~
300
00:29:34,842 --> 00:29:37,796
- You off duty?
- Permanently.
301
00:29:38,762 --> 00:29:42,428
- I've been bounced from the police force.
- You don't say?
302
00:29:42,558 --> 00:29:47,220
Had the goods on me. Insubordination,
accepting bribes and a missing button.
303
00:29:47,354 --> 00:29:50,770
So they took away my medal,
threw me out of the barracks.
304
00:29:51,525 --> 00:29:55,772
Reminds me of when I was drummed out
of the army. Marrakech, you know.
305
00:29:55,905 --> 00:29:58,656
I was a colonel in the foreign legion.
306
00:29:58,783 --> 00:30:01,452
Before or after you were
a professor of economics?
307
00:30:01,577 --> 00:30:05,242
No, in between I was a croupier
in Monte Carlo, but that's another story.
308
00:30:05,372 --> 00:30:07,863
Oh. Well... one more.
309
00:30:08,793 --> 00:30:11,034
So, what's your next move?
310
00:30:11,170 --> 00:30:14,206
I've been lookin' for a job,
applied to all the bureaus -
311
00:30:14,340 --> 00:30:18,836
customs inspection, sanitation - but once
you've been dishonourably discharged...
312
00:30:18,969 --> 00:30:21,887
...they won't even let you
clean the sewers.
313
00:30:22,014 --> 00:30:25,430
I hate to see a young man like you
take a defeatist attitude.
314
00:30:25,559 --> 00:30:29,687
The world is full of opportunities.
Just look around.
315
00:30:30,856 --> 00:30:34,936
There's one-armed Jojo,
used to be a safecracker...
316
00:30:35,069 --> 00:30:38,438
...till he put a little too much
nitroglycerin in a vault.
317
00:30:38,572 --> 00:30:43,911
And Casablanca Charlie. Five years ago
he walked in with holes in his shoes...
318
00:30:44,036 --> 00:30:46,408
...and a pocketful of dirty postcards.
319
00:30:46,705 --> 00:30:51,332
Or take Hippolyte the Ox, used to be
a purse-snatcher around the market.
320
00:30:51,627 --> 00:30:58,211
They all started at the bottom, but they
had perseverance and drive and vision.
321
00:30:58,342 --> 00:31:03,799
Now they've got it made. They're retired.
They let their girls work for them.
322
00:31:05,099 --> 00:31:07,720
I'm afraid I wasn't
cut out for a life of crime.
323
00:31:07,852 --> 00:31:10,521
There you go, selling yourself short.
324
00:31:10,646 --> 00:31:14,691
Oh, maybe I could snatch a purse
or crack a small safe...
325
00:31:14,817 --> 00:31:19,609
...but to sit around in a striped suit
while some girl out in the street... never.
326
00:31:19,738 --> 00:31:22,064
You're being petit bourgeois again.
327
00:31:22,616 --> 00:31:28,037
Life is total war, my friend. Nobody has
a right to be a conscientious objector.
328
00:31:34,253 --> 00:31:36,625
- Cigarettes.
- A pack of Gitanes coming up.
329
00:31:36,755 --> 00:31:39,460
- Hello.
- Hello.
330
00:31:39,592 --> 00:31:42,261
- Nasty night, isn't it?
- It never fails.
331
00:31:42,386 --> 00:31:45,506
Wouldn't you know, just
this afternoon I gave her a permanent.
332
00:31:45,639 --> 00:31:47,679
- Put them on my bill.
- Uh...
333
00:31:48,768 --> 00:31:51,341
Can I buy you a cheap drink?
334
00:31:51,479 --> 00:31:55,428
Why not? Do you think
you can afford a peppermint tea?
335
00:31:55,566 --> 00:31:58,935
- Certainly.
- One peppermint tea coming up.
336
00:31:59,904 --> 00:32:04,032
- Here we are again.
- Again? Have we been together before?
337
00:32:04,867 --> 00:32:08,236
I guess you don't
recognise me out of uniform.
338
00:32:08,871 --> 00:32:11,825
Uniform? Oh, about a month ago.
339
00:32:11,957 --> 00:32:15,409
You're that sailor with Brigitte Bardot
tattooed on your chest?
340
00:32:15,544 --> 00:32:18,878
No, it was just this morning...
I arrested you.
341
00:32:19,507 --> 00:32:21,630
Oh. Oh, of course.
342
00:32:21,759 --> 00:32:24,131
I'm sorry, I never remember a face.
343
00:32:24,261 --> 00:32:28,341
Oh... How long did they keep you
in the police station?
344
00:32:28,474 --> 00:32:32,139
- About an hour.
- I was out much faster than that.
345
00:32:34,355 --> 00:32:35,932
- Sugar?
- Thanks.
346
00:32:36,065 --> 00:32:38,556
Say, that hotel, tell me,
what are the rates?
347
00:32:38,692 --> 00:32:41,100
- Why?
- I'm lookin' for a room.
348
00:32:41,237 --> 00:32:43,728
They charge by the hour.
Nobody can afford it.
349
00:32:43,864 --> 00:32:46,735
Besides, they don't take
anybody with luggage.
350
00:32:48,285 --> 00:32:49,328
Irma!
351
00:32:59,630 --> 00:33:01,670
Let's have it.
352
00:33:04,176 --> 00:33:07,177
- Is that all?
- It's the weather. Nothin's happening.
353
00:33:07,304 --> 00:33:09,630
Well, get out and make it happen.
354
00:33:09,765 --> 00:33:14,641
- Do you mind if I dry out first?
- On your way. I haven't won all evening.
355
00:33:27,199 --> 00:33:30,651
When I walked the beat on a night
like this, I wore two pairs of socks.
356
00:33:30,786 --> 00:33:32,826
- You oughta try it.
- And long underwear?
357
00:33:32,955 --> 00:33:38,578
By all means. Also, I'd put a newspaper
inside my coat to keep my chest warm.
358
00:33:38,711 --> 00:33:41,996
Look, mister, I'm in a very
competitive business.
359
00:33:42,131 --> 00:33:46,674
Well, at least you get indoors
once in a while and off your feet.
360
00:33:46,802 --> 00:33:49,293
- I'm sorry.
- Forget it.
361
00:33:50,431 --> 00:33:53,348
You oughta cut down on it.
I mean, one after another.
362
00:33:53,476 --> 00:33:57,805
- Mind your own business.
- If you wanna smoke yourself to death...
363
00:33:58,606 --> 00:34:02,390
I met fellas that asked me to do a lot of
crazy things, but not give up smokin'.
364
00:34:02,526 --> 00:34:05,860
Well, I don't mean to get personal,
it's just that I like you.
365
00:34:05,988 --> 00:34:08,561
In Dijon there was this girl
I was in love with...
366
00:34:08,699 --> 00:34:12,115
- And I remind you of her.
- You don't look anything like her at all.
367
00:34:12,244 --> 00:34:17,784
But she was a heavy smoker, 60
cigarettes a day, coughin' all the time.
368
00:34:20,085 --> 00:34:22,374
What are you hangin' around for?
I said out.
369
00:34:22,505 --> 00:34:26,289
- Please, you're interrupting.
- All right, we were just talking.
370
00:34:26,425 --> 00:34:29,592
- About smoking.
- Talk on your own time.
371
00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:33,552
I would strongly advise you
to let go of the lady.
372
00:34:33,682 --> 00:34:37,182
- Oh, it's you.
- I'll give you exactly five seconds. One...
373
00:34:37,311 --> 00:34:42,139
...two, three, four... five!
374
00:34:42,733 --> 00:34:44,773
Well, that's better.
375
00:35:00,292 --> 00:35:01,961
Outside.
376
00:35:03,087 --> 00:35:06,919
And don't come back with
any excuses. I need 100 francs.
377
00:35:16,642 --> 00:35:19,513
Hey, watch it. This is a new hat.
378
00:35:19,645 --> 00:35:21,685
Had enough?
379
00:35:53,345 --> 00:35:55,385
Now I'm mad.
380
00:35:56,849 --> 00:35:59,007
Now I am really mad.
381
00:35:59,143 --> 00:36:01,515
And when I get mad, I'm like a tiger!
382
00:36:01,645 --> 00:36:04,315
Do you hear that, boys? He's a tiger.
383
00:36:29,799 --> 00:36:32,468
Hey, girls! A fight!
384
00:38:05,644 --> 00:38:08,978
All right... who's next?
385
00:38:35,090 --> 00:38:36,550
Cognac.
386
00:38:42,890 --> 00:38:45,096
Would you care
for another peppermint tea?
387
00:38:45,226 --> 00:38:47,265
No, thank you.
388
00:38:48,354 --> 00:38:50,809
Put everything on my bill.
389
00:38:51,690 --> 00:38:54,775
- Shall we go?
- Might as well.
390
00:38:56,237 --> 00:38:58,692
I'm getting bored with this place.
391
00:39:34,150 --> 00:39:37,020
- Where are we goin'?
- To my apartment.
392
00:39:37,153 --> 00:39:41,731
- I thought you lived in the hotel.
- That's my business address.
393
00:39:43,409 --> 00:39:45,864
Come on, you're getting wet.
394
00:39:54,044 --> 00:39:56,286
Don't expect too much
when we get up there.
395
00:39:56,422 --> 00:39:58,379
No, not at all.
396
00:39:58,507 --> 00:40:01,508
- I have no rugs, no icebox.
- As long as you have an empty couch.
397
00:40:01,635 --> 00:40:03,512
No couch.
398
00:40:10,770 --> 00:40:13,011
I also have to get curtains.
399
00:40:13,147 --> 00:40:17,560
They're working across the street,
repairing the roof, and I sleep in the nude.
400
00:40:17,693 --> 00:40:22,402
Well, it's about time they started fixing
up... You mean you don't wear anything?
401
00:40:22,531 --> 00:40:24,654
Nothing but a sleeping mask.
402
00:40:24,784 --> 00:40:25,826
Oh.
403
00:40:27,453 --> 00:40:32,245
That's all right, because the workmen
wouldn't recognise you anyway.
404
00:40:34,293 --> 00:40:37,543
You know what I've got?
An electric blanket.
405
00:40:37,671 --> 00:40:41,337
It was a present from somebody
with the American Embassy.
406
00:40:41,592 --> 00:40:45,043
That must be nice,
an electric blanket on a night like this.
407
00:40:45,179 --> 00:40:50,470
Only it doesn't work. They've got
a different kind of electricity. AC or DC.
408
00:40:50,601 --> 00:40:54,302
- That's too bad.
- Don't worry, you won't be cold.
409
00:41:01,362 --> 00:41:02,912
I'm not worried.
410
00:41:09,578 --> 00:41:12,745
It's very attractive. It has atmosphere.
411
00:41:12,873 --> 00:41:16,040
Used to be a studio.
A painter once lived here.
412
00:41:16,168 --> 00:41:20,083
Poor guy, he was starving.
Tried everything, even cut his ear off.
413
00:41:20,214 --> 00:41:23,630
- Van Gogh?
- No, I think his name was Schwartz.
414
00:41:24,593 --> 00:41:27,215
Would you believe it, I'm an artist myself.
415
00:41:27,346 --> 00:41:30,264
- I believe it.
- See this bed?
416
00:41:31,016 --> 00:41:32,059
Yes?
417
00:41:33,644 --> 00:41:35,720
I painted it.
418
00:41:35,855 --> 00:41:37,314
Oh. Oh!
419
00:41:38,774 --> 00:41:40,399
Very good job.
420
00:41:40,526 --> 00:41:44,310
It looked just awful when
I found it at the flea market.
421
00:41:56,917 --> 00:42:00,452
- Can I borrow a newspaper?
- You wanna read?
422
00:42:00,754 --> 00:42:04,040
No, of course not.
Can I take your stockings off?
423
00:42:07,553 --> 00:42:09,592
Sure, go ahead.
424
00:42:46,467 --> 00:42:49,040
You really are shy, aren't you?
425
00:42:49,178 --> 00:42:50,846
Me? Shy?
426
00:42:51,597 --> 00:42:56,259
Not particularly. It's... it's just...
the kind of world we live in.
427
00:42:56,393 --> 00:43:01,388
What I mean is, if you hate somebody,
you can do that any time, any place, but...
428
00:43:01,524 --> 00:43:05,817
...if you like somebody,
you gotta hide in dark corners.
429
00:43:08,322 --> 00:43:12,569
You know, I'm sort of glad about
that girl in Dijon, with the cough.
430
00:43:12,701 --> 00:43:15,905
- You are?
- Because frankly, in the police van...
431
00:43:16,038 --> 00:43:19,122
...I thought that you'd
never in your life, uh...
432
00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:23,413
Oh, she wasn't the only girl.
I've had more than one girl.
433
00:43:24,922 --> 00:43:27,674
- How many?
- Altogether?
434
00:43:28,717 --> 00:43:32,003
- Oh, let me see.
- Three?
435
00:43:32,138 --> 00:43:34,973
Not as many as that. That is...
436
00:43:55,244 --> 00:43:57,284
What's your name?
437
00:43:59,039 --> 00:44:01,447
Nes... Nestor. Nestor Patou.
438
00:44:01,750 --> 00:44:04,372
Well, don't take all night, Nestor Patou.
439
00:44:06,380 --> 00:44:08,048
I won't.
440
00:45:36,554 --> 00:45:38,961
Didn't you say you had a sleeping mask?
441
00:45:40,349 --> 00:45:42,805
You're really something.
442
00:46:22,099 --> 00:46:24,258
What's going on? What are you doing?
443
00:46:55,216 --> 00:46:56,258
Irma!
444
00:46:58,928 --> 00:46:59,970
Irma!
445
00:47:05,309 --> 00:47:06,352
Irma!
446
00:47:15,528 --> 00:47:16,570
Irma!
447
00:47:25,746 --> 00:47:26,789
Irma!
448
00:47:27,915 --> 00:47:29,375
Irma...
449
00:47:31,043 --> 00:47:33,249
Where are you, Irma?!
450
00:47:33,379 --> 00:47:36,048
Where are you, Irma? Hm?
451
00:47:38,968 --> 00:47:40,010
Hm?
452
00:47:54,150 --> 00:47:56,854
What are you doing way over there?
453
00:47:58,779 --> 00:48:01,353
It's four o'clock in the afternoon.
454
00:48:01,490 --> 00:48:03,946
- Come back.
- What's gotten into you?
455
00:48:04,076 --> 00:48:06,863
I don't know, I guess
I've become an addict.
456
00:48:06,996 --> 00:48:08,038
Irma!
457
00:48:15,796 --> 00:48:18,750
- What do you want?
- I wanna talk to you!
458
00:48:19,425 --> 00:48:21,464
You go to hell!
459
00:48:21,594 --> 00:48:23,717
I'm coming up to get my clothes.
460
00:48:24,054 --> 00:48:26,094
Just a minute.
461
00:48:26,974 --> 00:48:29,809
- Who is it? That big ox again?
- Uh-huh.
462
00:48:41,655 --> 00:48:43,981
If you have something
personal to discuss...
463
00:48:44,116 --> 00:48:46,524
No, stay right where you are.
464
00:48:49,330 --> 00:48:50,581
Catch.
465
00:48:55,461 --> 00:48:59,838
But what about my suits
and my silk shirts and my jewellery?
466
00:49:00,090 --> 00:49:03,376
This is what you came with
and this is what you're leaving with.
467
00:49:03,511 --> 00:49:04,886
Why, you little...
468
00:49:05,012 --> 00:49:07,764
You're lucky I don't
take back that gold tooth!
469
00:49:09,850 --> 00:49:12,424
I'm gonna come up there
and break your arm!
470
00:49:13,354 --> 00:49:15,393
Oh, you are
471
00:49:16,565 --> 00:49:17,817
Tiger.
472
00:49:19,151 --> 00:49:21,191
Come on out, Tiger.
473
00:49:40,381 --> 00:49:43,584
You want my friend here
to beat you up again?
474
00:49:48,889 --> 00:49:51,345
You'll be hearing from me.
475
00:49:55,604 --> 00:49:58,060
And stay away!
476
00:50:04,029 --> 00:50:07,280
- You could beat him up again, right?
- Naturally.
477
00:50:07,408 --> 00:50:11,951
It's just that I don't like to
pick on anybody who isn't my size.
478
00:50:20,713 --> 00:50:23,879
How did you get mixed up with
a character like that, anyway?
479
00:50:24,008 --> 00:50:27,128
Should've seen the one I had before.
He was not only mean...
480
00:50:27,261 --> 00:50:30,962
...he used to run around with
other women, and on my money.
481
00:50:34,268 --> 00:50:37,020
Why do you have to have anybody at all?
482
00:50:37,146 --> 00:50:39,185
Everybody needs somebody.
483
00:50:39,315 --> 00:50:43,312
Like Coquette needs me.
Who wants to be a stray dog?
484
00:50:43,444 --> 00:50:47,773
You've got to belong to someone,
even if he kicks you once in a while.
485
00:50:48,491 --> 00:50:51,029
- Don't you have any family?
- No.
486
00:50:51,702 --> 00:50:53,659
My mother was a very successful woman.
487
00:50:53,788 --> 00:50:56,824
She used to have the same spot
outside the hotel that I do.
488
00:50:56,957 --> 00:51:00,872
Then one day she met a guy,
fell in love with him and quit.
489
00:51:02,213 --> 00:51:05,582
- That's very romantic.
- Romantic? It's stupid.
490
00:51:05,716 --> 00:51:08,883
Gave up her career - for what?
Some slob from the market...
491
00:51:09,011 --> 00:51:12,012
...dragged around heavy sides
of beef till he dropped dead.
492
00:51:12,139 --> 00:51:14,464
It was too late for Momma
to make a comeback.
493
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:17,803
She wound up as a cashier
in the fish market.
494
00:51:18,938 --> 00:51:22,520
Only smart thing she ever did
was not marry my father.
495
00:51:22,650 --> 00:51:25,983
You mean you're not le... legitimate?
496
00:51:26,737 --> 00:51:27,816
That's right.
497
00:51:27,947 --> 00:51:32,692
You'd think with a background like that
I'd have turned out no good.
498
00:51:32,827 --> 00:51:37,904
I know you're doing very well, but a girl
like you - there's other kinds of jobs.
499
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,661
This isn't just a job, it's a profession.
500
00:51:40,793 --> 00:51:42,702
Of course.
501
00:51:42,837 --> 00:51:47,545
Somebody has to do these things but,
in your case, now that I know you better...
502
00:51:47,675 --> 00:51:50,510
I get that all the time.
The other night I met a man...
503
00:51:50,636 --> 00:51:53,637
...who thought I was too good for this,
and you know what he does?
504
00:51:53,764 --> 00:51:57,762
- He's a mortician. Now I ask you.
- Ask me what?
505
00:51:57,893 --> 00:52:01,013
Why is it nine out of ten try to reform me?
506
00:52:01,147 --> 00:52:03,519
You're not one of those, are you?
507
00:52:03,649 --> 00:52:05,689
Who, me? Oh, no.
508
00:52:06,527 --> 00:52:08,852
I used to be one of those.
509
00:52:08,988 --> 00:52:13,199
Petit bourgeois, but that was yesterday.
I know better now.
510
00:52:22,084 --> 00:52:24,540
I don't think she cares for me.
511
00:52:25,504 --> 00:52:28,873
You two better make friends
if you're gonna live here.
512
00:52:29,008 --> 00:52:31,962
- Live here?
- Why? Don't you like the idea?
513
00:52:32,094 --> 00:52:33,137
Sure.
514
00:52:33,929 --> 00:52:36,681
I like the idea, it's just that I had no idea.
515
00:52:36,807 --> 00:52:41,137
- Is this all you've got?
- Just my old uniform and my toilet kit.
516
00:52:43,397 --> 00:52:46,102
Try one of those suits in the closet.
517
00:52:46,233 --> 00:52:48,110
Go ahead.
518
00:52:56,452 --> 00:53:01,114
Let's see how you look in the brown one
with the pinstripes. He hardly ever wore it.
519
00:53:01,248 --> 00:53:03,739
Said it was too conservative.
520
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:16,210
I'm afraid the sleeves may be a little...
521
00:53:16,347 --> 00:53:20,475
Don't worry about that.
There's a brown derby that goes with it.
522
00:53:32,738 --> 00:53:35,822
- What are the glasses for?
- The races.
523
00:53:36,450 --> 00:53:39,120
Oh. Gee, they look very powerful.
524
00:53:40,579 --> 00:53:42,406
- Oops.
- What's the matter?
525
00:53:42,540 --> 00:53:44,625
Wrong end.
526
00:53:44,834 --> 00:53:48,452
- You want me to turn around?
- No, I mean the glasses.
527
00:53:51,048 --> 00:53:53,919
I'll bet nobody ever
saw you like this before.
528
00:53:54,051 --> 00:53:57,005
- You'd lose.
- Through field glasses?
529
00:53:57,805 --> 00:53:59,265
No bet.
530
00:54:01,016 --> 00:54:04,717
When I first met you, I thought
you were pretty. I was totally wrong.
531
00:54:04,854 --> 00:54:07,012
You're beautiful.
532
00:54:07,148 --> 00:54:12,522
- You're outta your mind or out of focus.
- Without make-up, you look about 14.
533
00:54:12,653 --> 00:54:15,987
I wore make-up when I was 14,
so I could pass for 17.
534
00:54:16,115 --> 00:54:19,199
- Then, by the time I was 17...
- Never mind.
535
00:54:21,495 --> 00:54:23,951
I don't wanna hear about it.
536
00:54:26,876 --> 00:54:29,545
- This coat looks ridiculous.
- Well, have it fixed.
537
00:54:29,670 --> 00:54:32,375
Just take it into Maurice the tailor.
538
00:54:34,133 --> 00:54:36,458
All right, but I won't wear the hat.
539
00:54:36,594 --> 00:54:39,132
But you have to. It all goes together.
540
00:54:39,263 --> 00:54:42,964
The suit, the hat, the glasses.
For when you go to the racetrack.
541
00:54:43,100 --> 00:54:47,561
The racetrack? Who's got time for
the racetrack? I gotta get myself a job.
542
00:54:47,688 --> 00:54:51,638
- What do you mean, a job?
- I can find something around the market.
543
00:54:51,776 --> 00:54:55,109
Unloadin' trucks, cleanin' the stalls or...
544
00:54:55,237 --> 00:54:57,693
What's the matter?
545
00:55:04,663 --> 00:55:07,119
Did I say somethin' wrong?
546
00:55:08,375 --> 00:55:12,243
- You're trying to make me feel cheap.
- Cheap?
547
00:55:12,379 --> 00:55:15,333
How would it look if I let you go to work?
548
00:55:15,466 --> 00:55:19,416
D'you want the other girls to think
I can't support my man?
549
00:55:19,553 --> 00:55:22,803
I want you to be better dressed
than anybody else.
550
00:55:22,932 --> 00:55:26,881
I want you to have more money in
your pockets. I wanna be proud of you.
551
00:55:27,019 --> 00:55:30,768
But, Irma, you don't understand.
I never felt like this about anybody...
552
00:55:30,898 --> 00:55:36,105
That's why I'm gonna work twice as hard
for you as I ever did for any of the others.
553
00:55:51,512 --> 00:55:53,552
Your turn.
554
00:55:54,432 --> 00:55:56,471
Hey, Tiger.
555
00:56:08,237 --> 00:56:12,567
I don't feel like playin' any more.
Get somebody else.
556
00:56:17,789 --> 00:56:21,240
- Give me a drink.
- Cognac? Pernod? Calvados?
557
00:56:21,376 --> 00:56:24,127
Yeah, and in that order.
558
00:56:24,253 --> 00:56:26,661
Why don't you shut
that damn jukebox off?
559
00:56:26,798 --> 00:56:29,752
What's the problem?
You've got a gold mine working for you.
560
00:56:29,884 --> 00:56:32,968
- And shut yourself off, too.
- Say, I'm lookin' for Irma.
561
00:56:33,096 --> 00:56:36,180
- The one with the bow-wow?
- She's not here. Go away.
562
00:56:36,307 --> 00:56:38,513
I've been away: Tangiers, Naples, Cairo.
563
00:56:38,643 --> 00:56:42,771
I met up with a lotta dames,
but there's nothing like that Irma.
564
00:56:42,897 --> 00:56:45,435
- Get outta here.
- What is this?
565
00:56:45,566 --> 00:56:50,774
I know about you. You're the one with
Brigitte Bardot tattooed on your chest.
566
00:56:51,739 --> 00:56:53,779
Hey, you crazy?
567
00:56:59,038 --> 00:57:03,202
- She must know two sailors.
- A hell of a way to treat a customer.
568
00:57:03,334 --> 00:57:05,457
I'm so jealous I'm goin' outta my mind.
569
00:57:05,586 --> 00:57:09,833
You must be. A mac falling in love
with his poule. You're like an impresario.
570
00:57:09,966 --> 00:57:13,132
You're handling Pavlova and
you want her to dance just for you?
571
00:57:13,261 --> 00:57:18,006
It's a God-given talent. It was
meant to be shared with the public.
572
00:57:18,933 --> 00:57:20,184
Again.
573
00:57:24,439 --> 00:57:28,935
- Hey! There's the bow-wow!
- Come on, sailor, keep rowing.
574
00:57:36,409 --> 00:57:39,659
Whew! What a night! Everybody
seems to have the same idea.
575
00:57:39,787 --> 00:57:43,073
Always happens when there's a full moon.
No time to catch my breath.
576
00:57:43,207 --> 00:57:45,247
- How's my baby?
- I'm fine.
577
00:57:45,376 --> 00:57:48,247
No, he isn't. As a matter of fact,
he's very grouchy.
578
00:57:48,379 --> 00:57:51,546
We can fix that.
I have a little present for you.
579
00:57:51,674 --> 00:57:54,212
- What is it?
- A stick pin. You put it in your tie.
580
00:57:54,343 --> 00:57:56,051
- I don't need it.
- Yes, you do.
581
00:57:56,179 --> 00:57:59,215
Mimi got Casablanca Charlie one.
This one has real sapphires.
582
00:57:59,348 --> 00:58:01,258
- Let's go.
- Go where?
583
00:58:01,392 --> 00:58:03,432
- Home.
- It's only one o'clock.
584
00:58:03,561 --> 00:58:06,230
Pack of Gitanes.
You know I never quit before five.
585
00:58:06,356 --> 00:58:10,021
- Take the night off.
- Just walk off the job, just like that?
586
00:58:10,151 --> 00:58:13,816
- Disappoint all my regulars?
- To hell with them!
587
00:58:13,946 --> 00:58:16,319
Why don't we go away
somewhere for a week?
588
00:58:16,449 --> 00:58:18,691
A week? What are we gonna live on?
589
00:58:18,826 --> 00:58:21,400
If I stay away that long, I'll lose my spot.
590
00:58:21,537 --> 00:58:25,037
- She's got the best location.
- We never have any time together.
591
00:58:25,166 --> 00:58:28,120
You're out there all night,
you sleep all day.
592
00:58:28,252 --> 00:58:32,001
If only Monsieur Camembert were
still around. You remember him?
593
00:58:32,131 --> 00:58:35,796
- Do I? Big spender.
- Who is Monsieur Camembert?
594
00:58:37,095 --> 00:58:40,962
That's what we called him. He was
a cheese wholesaler at the market.
595
00:58:41,099 --> 00:58:44,514
He used to see me twice a week,
always gave me 500 francs...
596
00:58:44,644 --> 00:58:49,021
...so I didn't have to see anybody else.
I had lots of time then.
597
00:58:49,148 --> 00:58:52,683
I went to cooking school,
I knitted sweaters, played solitaire.
598
00:58:52,819 --> 00:58:54,942
He was such a nice man.
599
00:58:55,071 --> 00:58:57,277
What happened to him?
600
00:58:57,407 --> 00:58:59,814
His wife died,
so he stopped coming around.
601
00:58:59,951 --> 00:59:02,406
It was a great loss to all of us.
602
00:59:03,287 --> 00:59:07,237
Hey, girls. Here comes
another busload of tourists.
603
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:16,000
Irma... stay here.
604
00:59:17,844 --> 00:59:20,595
You're sweet. Kiss me.
605
00:59:25,351 --> 00:59:29,016
You know, I've been thinking.
Maybe you're right. I'm gonna give it up.
606
00:59:29,147 --> 00:59:30,815
You are?
607
00:59:31,107 --> 00:59:35,685
I promise you, this is absolutely
the last pack I'll ever smoke.
608
00:59:37,030 --> 00:59:39,865
All right, we're going.
609
00:59:39,991 --> 00:59:42,030
See you later.
610
00:59:44,620 --> 00:59:47,538
Must be German tourists.
Short leather pants.
611
00:59:47,665 --> 00:59:52,126
Shut up! Tourists, sailors, wholesalers!
I'd like to kill 'em all.
612
00:59:52,253 --> 00:59:56,333
- Listen to him, Jack the Ripper.
- What am I gonna do?
613
00:59:56,466 --> 01:00:01,424
Suppose there was just one man,
a rich customer who gave her 500 francs.
614
01:00:01,554 --> 01:00:03,677
- Would that make you any happier?
- No.
615
01:00:03,806 --> 01:00:06,262
Maybe it would make me
a little less miserable.
616
01:00:06,392 --> 01:00:09,512
How about Monsieur Barnathan,
the goose-liver king?
617
01:00:09,645 --> 01:00:12,516
That nasty old man with the gout?
She wouldn't like it.
618
01:00:12,648 --> 01:00:16,812
Monsieur Leonelli, owns six restaurants,
comes every morning to do the market?
619
01:00:16,944 --> 01:00:19,945
- I don't know him.
- A tall young man, very good-looking.
620
01:00:20,073 --> 01:00:22,112
I wouldn't like it.
621
01:00:24,911 --> 01:00:28,991
What about one of those
Englishmen who drop in here?
622
01:00:29,749 --> 01:00:32,703
You know, Rolls-Royce,
Oxford, Coldstream Guards.
623
01:00:32,835 --> 01:00:35,622
- They're harmless enough.
- You don't understand.
624
01:00:35,755 --> 01:00:39,040
I don't want anybody
to make love to her, except me.
625
01:00:39,175 --> 01:00:41,417
Sentimental slob.
626
01:00:46,933 --> 01:00:48,925
I say there, old chap, I'addition.
627
01:00:49,060 --> 01:00:51,729
That's two onion soups,
a bottle of wine, 15 francs.
628
01:00:51,854 --> 01:00:54,524
Capital onion soup, capital.
629
01:00:54,649 --> 01:00:58,433
Pity we don't have rubber pockets,
we could smuggle some back to London.
630
01:01:05,451 --> 01:01:07,491
An Englishman?
631
01:01:08,454 --> 01:01:10,826
Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea.
632
01:01:10,957 --> 01:01:13,282
- It's worth a try. I say, there!
- No, no, no.
633
01:01:13,418 --> 01:01:14,460
No?
634
01:01:14,669 --> 01:01:19,295
Listen, Moustache, would you lend me
500 francs? That's the perfect solution.
635
01:01:19,424 --> 01:01:22,958
You give me the money, I give it to Irma,
Irma gives it back to me...
636
01:01:23,094 --> 01:01:25,846
...and I give it back to you. It's very simple.
637
01:01:25,972 --> 01:01:27,632
- What?
- Don't you see?
638
01:01:27,765 --> 01:01:31,715
Irma's going to have a rich lover
and it's going to be me.
639
01:01:32,645 --> 01:01:34,685
- You're mad.
- Yes, I'm mad!
640
01:01:35,148 --> 01:01:39,477
I'm desperate. This is the only way out,
and you're gonna help me.
641
01:01:44,741 --> 01:01:46,780
Let's hear it again.
642
01:01:46,909 --> 01:01:50,444
The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain.
643
01:01:50,580 --> 01:01:53,581
- No, no, through the nose.
- The rain in Spain...
644
01:01:53,708 --> 01:01:55,332
And show me some teeth.
645
01:01:55,460 --> 01:01:58,959
The rain in Spain stays
mainly in the plain.
646
01:01:59,088 --> 01:02:01,247
- By George, you haven't got it.
- I haven't?
647
01:02:01,382 --> 01:02:04,253
Well, to a lord, you wouldn't be
a lord, but maybe to Irma.
648
01:02:04,385 --> 01:02:07,220
Don't worry, I've seen
every English movie in town.
649
01:02:07,346 --> 01:02:10,881
- Hold still, Your Lordship.
- Tell me once more, where is my castle?
650
01:02:11,017 --> 01:02:14,931
- In... in... Worcestershire?
- No, that's the sauce. In Yorkshire.
651
01:02:15,063 --> 01:02:17,601
- I thought that was a pudding.
- I've done all I can.
652
01:02:17,732 --> 01:02:20,401
Well, let's see. Homburg, umbrella.
653
01:02:20,526 --> 01:02:24,227
- Where's my 500 francs?
- You mean, my 500 francs.
654
01:02:24,364 --> 01:02:28,527
- Thank you, old chip.
- Not old chip, old chap!
655
01:02:28,659 --> 01:02:31,495
- And not that way. On the lift.
- On the what?
656
01:02:31,621 --> 01:02:33,660
The elevator!
657
01:02:34,415 --> 01:02:37,452
Now then, shall we have a go at it?
658
01:02:38,044 --> 01:02:41,958
This may be the biggest setback
for the British since Dunkirk.
659
01:02:42,090 --> 01:02:45,672
I know, I was there.
Last man to be evacuated.
660
01:02:45,802 --> 01:02:48,257
But that's another story.
661
01:03:45,153 --> 01:03:47,560
Hello, Uncle. Lookin' for a little fun?
662
01:03:47,697 --> 01:03:50,402
- Quite.
- Am I your type?
663
01:03:50,533 --> 01:03:53,487
Not quite. Cheerio, old chip.
664
01:03:53,619 --> 01:03:58,080
- Got the time, mister?
- Indeed, but not the inclination.
665
01:04:00,209 --> 01:04:03,376
- Good show.
- Anything I can do for you?
666
01:04:03,504 --> 01:04:06,624
No, thank you. Just browsing.
667
01:04:13,931 --> 01:04:17,680
I say, there, would you call
that a miniature or a toy?
668
01:04:17,810 --> 01:04:20,681
That's not a toy. That's a real live dog.
669
01:04:20,813 --> 01:04:23,269
- I have a dog myself.
- A poodle?
670
01:04:23,399 --> 01:04:28,275
No. The hound of the Baskervilles.
Magnificent beast.
671
01:04:28,404 --> 01:04:32,272
- But then again, so are you.
- You must be British.
672
01:04:32,408 --> 01:04:36,821
Terribly so. Rolls-Royce, you know,
Oxford, Coldcream Guards.
673
01:04:36,954 --> 01:04:39,872
Tell me, are you booked?
674
01:04:39,999 --> 01:04:43,498
- No.
- In that case... I mean, would you?
675
01:04:43,628 --> 01:04:47,211
- That is, could we?
- Why not?
676
01:05:11,531 --> 01:05:15,742
- What did you say your name was?
- Irma. They call me Irma la Douce.
677
01:05:15,868 --> 01:05:20,329
Well, if you don't mind, Miss la Douce,
I'd rather not introduce myself.
678
01:05:20,456 --> 01:05:23,243
- I don't mind.
- In my situation a man must be discreet.
679
01:05:23,376 --> 01:05:27,954
- You may call me... Lord X.
- Lord X. Sure.
680
01:05:28,089 --> 01:05:31,458
No, no, no, no, no, my dear,
that shan't be necessary.
681
01:05:31,592 --> 01:05:33,834
What's the matter?
682
01:05:33,970 --> 01:05:37,635
All I really want is
a bit of companionship...
683
01:05:37,765 --> 01:05:41,763
...a shoulder to cry on,
a smile to lean against.
684
01:05:45,523 --> 01:05:48,809
Say, what does that
X stand for, eccentric?
685
01:05:50,570 --> 01:05:56,026
Let me ask you something, my dear.
Do you find me repulsive?
686
01:05:56,159 --> 01:05:59,991
No, not at all. You're rather nice-looking,
for a lord your age.
687
01:06:00,121 --> 01:06:03,490
Thank you. You see,
my wife, Lady X, she does.
688
01:06:03,624 --> 01:06:05,534
- Does what?
- Finds me repulsive.
689
01:06:05,668 --> 01:06:09,333
Ignores me completely. Spends
all of her time cultivating the garden.
690
01:06:09,464 --> 01:06:13,331
And what's worse...
cultivating the gardener.
691
01:06:14,135 --> 01:06:17,385
- The gardener?
- The other day I was watching them...
692
01:06:17,513 --> 01:06:19,553
...from the turret of the castle.
693
01:06:19,682 --> 01:06:22,469
They were in the flower bed together...
694
01:06:22,602 --> 01:06:27,727
...and he was pruning her begonias.
- They oughta be ashamed.
695
01:06:27,857 --> 01:06:32,186
Yes, and it was such a jolly marriage,
those first few years.
696
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:38,773
We'd sit in front of the fire and play
double solitaire and Chinese chequers.
697
01:06:38,910 --> 01:06:41,033
Solitaire? I play solitaire.
698
01:06:41,162 --> 01:06:43,036
Capital! Could we?
699
01:06:43,164 --> 01:06:46,663
That is, uh, would you? I mean, shall we?
700
01:06:47,919 --> 01:06:50,326
I don't care, as long as
you're paying for my time.
701
01:06:50,463 --> 01:06:54,081
Don't worry about the money.
You take the red, I'll take the blue, hm?
702
01:06:54,217 --> 01:06:58,713
I once knew a gentleman and all he'd
do is scatter some marbles on the floor...
703
01:06:58,846 --> 01:07:01,172
...and make me
pick them up with my toes.
704
01:07:01,307 --> 01:07:02,975
How odd.
705
01:07:04,060 --> 01:07:10,229
- I never played double solitaire before.
- We play off on each other's aces, hm?
706
01:07:16,656 --> 01:07:19,491
The rain in Spain stays
mainly in the plain, you know.
707
01:07:19,617 --> 01:07:22,452
- No, I didn't know.
- Hm, it's a fact.
708
01:07:22,578 --> 01:07:28,284
That's where I met my wife,
in Spain, in the rain, in the plain.
709
01:07:28,418 --> 01:07:31,205
I was stationed in Gibraltar.
710
01:07:31,838 --> 01:07:35,787
- Your wife, Lady X, is she beautiful?
- Very, and very passionate.
711
01:07:35,925 --> 01:07:38,250
So I can't really blame her.
712
01:07:38,386 --> 01:07:42,847
You see, I came back
from the war a shattered man.
713
01:07:42,974 --> 01:07:46,758
- I was wondering about your eye.
- Oh, bit of detached retina.
714
01:07:46,894 --> 01:07:50,809
Happened at Navarone. Those beastly
guns popping off all the time.
715
01:07:50,940 --> 01:07:54,772
I have a silver plate in this elbow.
Sink the Bismarck, that was.
716
01:07:54,902 --> 01:08:00,027
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- I have one eye, one elbow, it's not tragic.
717
01:08:01,367 --> 01:08:04,404
What is tragic, however...
718
01:08:04,537 --> 01:08:08,155
- I'd rather not talk about it.
- Well, if you'd rather not.
719
01:08:08,291 --> 01:08:11,790
I was in a Japanese prison camp
on the River Kwai.
720
01:08:12,295 --> 01:08:16,043
There was a rather nasty explosion.
721
01:08:16,174 --> 01:08:20,171
Whole ruddy bridge fell down on me.
722
01:08:22,847 --> 01:08:29,300
When they dug me up, I was
only half a man, a hollow shell.
723
01:08:31,898 --> 01:08:36,524
- You've been through a lot, haven't you?
- Well, mad dogs and Englishmen, eh?
724
01:08:36,652 --> 01:08:42,323
With Lawrence in Arabia, with
Sherpa Tenzing up the Himalayas.
725
01:08:42,617 --> 01:08:46,116
And then there was
the charge of the Light Brigade.
726
01:08:46,245 --> 01:08:48,915
India, you know. Gunga Din, eh?
727
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:51,613
Bengal Lancers. Ta, ta!
728
01:08:51,751 --> 01:08:54,324
Served under Commander Whitehead.
729
01:08:54,462 --> 01:08:57,795
And then there was the RAF and the BBC.
730
01:08:57,924 --> 01:09:01,756
Ah! Dunkirk! Ha-ha!
But that's another story.
731
01:09:20,822 --> 01:09:23,277
- Say, have you seen Irma around?
- No.
732
01:09:23,408 --> 01:09:25,981
She went up at midnight
and hasn't come down yet.
733
01:09:26,119 --> 01:09:28,574
- That's six hours.
- You should have seen the guy.
734
01:09:28,705 --> 01:09:33,165
He was an old goat with a beard. I didn't
even think he'd make it up the stairs.
735
01:09:38,631 --> 01:09:42,047
- Ah, by George, I've done it again.
- One more.
736
01:09:42,176 --> 01:09:44,216
Oh, I'm afraid not.
737
01:09:46,139 --> 01:09:47,181
Oh.
738
01:09:47,473 --> 01:09:51,637
I'd better dash to the airport
if I'm not to miss my plane.
739
01:09:51,769 --> 01:09:55,553
- It was rather fun, for a change.
- Oh, thank you.
740
01:09:55,690 --> 01:09:57,729
There you are, my dear.
741
01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:00,403
Oh!
742
01:10:00,611 --> 01:10:04,656
- You're very generous.
- Oh, not really. Just filthy rich.
743
01:10:05,491 --> 01:10:06,534
Um...
744
01:10:07,326 --> 01:10:09,403
How often do you come to Paris?
745
01:10:09,537 --> 01:10:12,242
Twice a week. Why?
746
01:10:12,373 --> 01:10:14,532
Well, maybe we could do it again.
747
01:10:14,667 --> 01:10:18,166
Smashing. I was about to suggest
we make some kind of arrangement.
748
01:10:18,296 --> 01:10:20,372
I'd like that, and so would Nestor.
749
01:10:20,506 --> 01:10:23,128
- Yeah... uh, who?
- The man I live with.
750
01:10:23,259 --> 01:10:24,302
Oh.
751
01:10:24,594 --> 01:10:30,928
He doesn't mind that you come up here
with strangers and pick up their marbles?
752
01:10:31,059 --> 01:10:33,347
No. Why should he? Business is business.
753
01:10:33,478 --> 01:10:37,310
- Sensible attitude.
- Only thing he objects to is my smoking.
754
01:10:37,440 --> 01:10:40,311
I'm trying to quit, but it isn't easy.
755
01:10:41,611 --> 01:10:44,066
Then you must really love him?
756
01:10:48,326 --> 01:10:51,825
- Shall we go?
- Just a second. Where's my other shoe?
757
01:10:51,954 --> 01:10:53,828
- Hm?
- My other shoe?
758
01:10:53,956 --> 01:10:55,534
Oh, hm. Er...
759
01:10:55,666 --> 01:10:59,082
I'm sorry, I really must catch my plane...
760
01:10:59,212 --> 01:11:02,497
...or Lady X and that wretched
gardener will be running amok.
761
01:11:02,632 --> 01:11:05,752
- See you Thursday, same place?
- I'll be waiting.
762
01:11:09,722 --> 01:11:11,762
Cheeribye.
763
01:11:13,976 --> 01:11:15,019
Whee!
764
01:11:15,812 --> 01:11:19,228
This is our lucky night.
Wait till I tell Nestor.
765
01:11:20,358 --> 01:11:23,893
All right, what did you do with my shoe?
766
01:11:33,246 --> 01:11:36,081
Would you give this
to the young lady in room nine?
767
01:11:36,207 --> 01:11:40,869
Somehow it wound up in my pocket.
768
01:11:41,003 --> 01:11:42,628
Old goat.
769
01:12:44,609 --> 01:12:47,526
- How did it go?
- You would have been proud of me.
770
01:12:47,653 --> 01:12:49,860
What a performance!
Like Sir Laurence Oliver.
771
01:12:49,989 --> 01:12:53,239
That's Laurence Olivier.
And watch your ascot.
772
01:12:53,368 --> 01:12:55,036
My what?
773
01:12:56,037 --> 01:12:57,497
Nestor!
774
01:12:58,456 --> 01:13:00,579
Nestor! Nestor!
775
01:13:00,708 --> 01:13:03,164
It happened! We hit the jackpot!
776
01:13:03,294 --> 01:13:05,453
- Whee!
- What happened? What jackpot?
777
01:13:05,588 --> 01:13:09,420
I found him, and he's got a castle
and he comes here twice a week.
778
01:13:09,550 --> 01:13:12,421
- Who? Calm down.
- He's English and he's a lord.
779
01:13:12,553 --> 01:13:15,341
I'm gonna see him again
on Thursday and he's filthy rich.
780
01:13:15,473 --> 01:13:17,715
- Know how much he gave me?
- How would I know?
781
01:13:17,850 --> 01:13:20,057
Come on, make a guess.
782
01:13:20,186 --> 01:13:22,226
500 francs!
783
01:13:23,606 --> 01:13:26,560
- Here.
- How about that?
784
01:13:27,777 --> 01:13:29,770
500 francs? What'd ya have to do for it?
785
01:13:29,904 --> 01:13:31,731
- Nothing.
- Oh, come on.
786
01:13:31,864 --> 01:13:34,106
- He taught me a new game.
- What kind of game?
787
01:13:34,242 --> 01:13:36,530
- He beat me nine times...
- That's more like it.
788
01:13:36,661 --> 01:13:42,331
He used to play with his wife, but she's
got something goin' with the gardener.
789
01:13:42,458 --> 01:13:44,498
It's 500 francs, all right.
790
01:13:44,627 --> 01:13:45,878
Later.
791
01:13:48,339 --> 01:13:50,747
Hey, Tiger, can we see ya for a minute?
792
01:13:50,883 --> 01:13:53,256
Certainly. What's on your mind, boys?
793
01:13:53,386 --> 01:13:55,509
Congratulations, you made it.
794
01:13:56,431 --> 01:13:59,385
- I didn't do anything.
- Me and the boys have talked it over.
795
01:13:59,517 --> 01:14:02,886
Since you're numero uno now,
we've elected you president.
796
01:14:03,021 --> 01:14:06,520
- President? Of what?
- Local 27 of the MPPA.
797
01:14:06,649 --> 01:14:10,813
- MPP?
- Macs of Paris Protective Association.
798
01:14:10,945 --> 01:14:12,985
- Me?
- It was unanimous.
799
01:14:13,948 --> 01:14:17,282
It's an honour. I'm sure you can
find somebody more deserving...
800
01:14:17,410 --> 01:14:20,494
We accept! Oh, I'm so proud of you.
801
01:14:21,539 --> 01:14:23,781
Champagne for everybody!
802
01:14:32,467 --> 01:14:34,506
Hey! Free champagne!
803
01:14:52,987 --> 01:14:54,647
Vive Nestor!
804
01:14:54,781 --> 01:14:57,865
Vive! Vive! Vive!
805
01:15:11,422 --> 01:15:15,550
Oh, I'm so happy. From now on
it's just going to be the three of us -
806
01:15:15,676 --> 01:15:18,880
- you and me and the lord.
- Yeah.
807
01:15:20,807 --> 01:15:25,267
Let's see. 500 francs each time, that's
1,000 francs a week, 52 weeks a year...
808
01:15:25,395 --> 01:15:27,802
...so that would be...
809
01:15:27,939 --> 01:15:32,067
- Darling, can I have 100 francs?
- Oh, sure.
810
01:15:32,193 --> 01:15:36,357
- It's for a hair dryer.
- Here's another 100. Get curtains too.
811
01:15:36,489 --> 01:15:39,775
- Why are you so good to me?
- I just believe in fair dealings...
812
01:15:39,909 --> 01:15:42,400
...between labour and management.
813
01:15:55,466 --> 01:15:57,755
Come on, Nestor. Le twist.
814
01:15:57,885 --> 01:16:01,504
Hands off, Lolita. He doesn't
twist with anybody but me.
815
01:16:01,639 --> 01:16:04,047
Get her. Mrs President.
816
01:16:04,934 --> 01:16:06,974
Uh... let's dance.
817
01:17:31,062 --> 01:17:34,146
- Want to pay for the champagne now?
- I didn't order it.
818
01:17:34,273 --> 01:17:38,567
The president always pays when
he's inaugurated. 270 francs, please.
819
01:17:38,695 --> 01:17:42,064
Nine bottles.
Eight for the gang, one for her.
820
01:17:42,198 --> 01:17:46,243
- She had a whole bottle?
- How d'you think she got kidney stones?
821
01:17:47,203 --> 01:17:50,074
Well, that went fast.
822
01:17:50,665 --> 01:17:52,704
Now, what about my 500?
823
01:17:53,668 --> 01:17:55,910
This isn't workin' out the way we figured.
824
01:17:56,045 --> 01:17:59,497
The way you figured. I told you
it was economically unsound.
825
01:17:59,632 --> 01:18:04,045
You'll just have to advance Lord X another
500, when he comes back on Thursday.
826
01:18:04,178 --> 01:18:07,594
- Oh, no, not me.
- Well, how am I gonna pay Irma?
827
01:18:07,724 --> 01:18:12,267
I guess you'll just have to mortgage your
castle, pick some pockets or rob a bank.
828
01:18:12,395 --> 01:18:15,930
I knocked over a bank in Bordeaux -
my father's - but that's another...
829
01:18:16,065 --> 01:18:17,734
Shut up.
830
01:18:19,110 --> 01:18:22,775
Bit of a sticky wicket,
isn't it, Your Lordship?
831
01:18:50,433 --> 01:18:51,476
Dis donc!
832
01:19:12,205 --> 01:19:13,247
Irma?
833
01:19:23,341 --> 01:19:24,384
Irma?
834
01:20:13,683 --> 01:20:15,351
Come on.
835
01:24:56,841 --> 01:24:59,047
Good morning, darling.
836
01:24:59,177 --> 01:25:01,502
- Good morning.
- Did I wake you?
837
01:25:01,637 --> 01:25:02,680
No.
838
01:25:03,556 --> 01:25:04,599
Ooh.
839
01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:07,722
Oh, it looks like a beautiful day.
840
01:25:09,270 --> 01:25:13,268
I feel so spoiled and so lazy.
841
01:25:13,399 --> 01:25:16,400
Do you realise I don't have
a thing to do until Thursday?
842
01:25:16,527 --> 01:25:19,065
- What's Thursday?
- When Lord X comes again.
843
01:25:19,197 --> 01:25:20,239
Oh. Oh!
844
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:24,493
You know what let's do? Let's rent
a tandem and ride out to the country.
845
01:25:24,619 --> 01:25:27,785
- Trees and grass and fresh air.
- Not today.
846
01:25:27,914 --> 01:25:30,487
Or we could go to the Bois
and row around the lake.
847
01:25:30,625 --> 01:25:32,084
Maybe next week.
848
01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:35,910
We don't have to do anything.
We could stay in bed all day.
849
01:25:36,047 --> 01:25:38,086
I'd like that.
850
01:25:41,844 --> 01:25:45,048
- Want your breakfast now or later?
- Much later.
851
01:25:51,646 --> 01:25:53,685
I've got a surprise for you.
852
01:25:54,941 --> 01:25:57,646
- Close your eyes.
- Thank you.
853
01:26:01,739 --> 01:26:05,239
When I was at the department store,
buying the curtains, I saw this.
854
01:26:05,368 --> 01:26:08,535
And you know how I feel
about green, so I tried it on.
855
01:26:08,663 --> 01:26:11,617
There was a riot.
Three of the salesmen got trampled...
856
01:26:11,749 --> 01:26:14,584
...so naturally I just had to have it.
857
01:26:14,711 --> 01:26:19,040
Now, don't open your eyes yet.
I want you to see it against the light.
858
01:26:21,300 --> 01:26:23,756
All right, you can look now.
859
01:26:26,097 --> 01:26:27,557
Nestor?
860
01:26:31,436 --> 01:26:32,895
Nestor.
861
01:26:38,192 --> 01:26:40,600
- Nestor!
- Not today.
862
01:26:40,737 --> 01:26:42,776
Maybe next week?
863
01:26:46,159 --> 01:26:48,244
All right.
864
01:26:48,536 --> 01:26:50,992
If that's the way you feel about it.
865
01:28:04,570 --> 01:28:07,986
- My dear girl.
- I was afraid you wouldn't show up.
866
01:28:08,116 --> 01:28:14,154
Almost didn't. Ran into dirty weather over
the Channel. Unusually foggy for July.
867
01:28:20,795 --> 01:28:23,831
- What is it, my dear?
- You've changed somehow.
868
01:28:23,965 --> 01:28:26,372
Have I? How?
869
01:28:27,135 --> 01:28:30,586
That patch, shouldn't it be
on the other eye?
870
01:28:30,722 --> 01:28:31,764
Oh.
871
01:28:33,182 --> 01:28:36,386
Indeed. Well, no wonder it was so foggy.
872
01:28:39,564 --> 01:28:45,187
- I've been practising. I'll be much better.
- Oh, let's get at it then, shall we?
873
01:28:48,448 --> 01:28:50,324
Old goat.
874
01:29:04,255 --> 01:29:07,422
How are things at home?
I mean, how's Lady X?
875
01:29:07,550 --> 01:29:11,215
- Her usual self.
- How's the gardener?
876
01:29:11,804 --> 01:29:15,387
Finally happened. Caught them
red-handed in the greenhouse.
877
01:29:15,516 --> 01:29:19,561
I threw them out, pulled up the
drawbridge, started divorce proceedings.
878
01:29:19,687 --> 01:29:22,225
- That's too bad.
- Catastrophe.
879
01:29:22,357 --> 01:29:25,108
Best damn gardener I ever had.
880
01:29:26,194 --> 01:29:28,317
Must be lonely for you at the castle.
881
01:29:28,446 --> 01:29:32,029
Very. Especially at night,
just me and the family ghost...
882
01:29:32,158 --> 01:29:35,574
...spooking around those 96 rooms.
883
01:29:35,703 --> 01:29:39,037
- How many?
- Not to mention the 400 acres...
884
01:29:39,165 --> 01:29:42,748
...and the croquet field,
and the trout hatchery.
885
01:29:42,877 --> 01:29:48,084
And all the horses. I breed trotters
and pacers. Separate stables, you know.
886
01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:52,091
I imagine there must be lots
of trees and grass and a brook.
887
01:29:52,220 --> 01:29:56,514
And swans and peacocks and... unicorns.
888
01:29:57,266 --> 01:30:02,557
It sounds like a wonderful place for
Coquette. I'd like to get her out of the city.
889
01:30:02,689 --> 01:30:05,096
- She drinks, you know.
- Really?
890
01:30:05,608 --> 01:30:08,360
I keep finding empty
bottles under the bed.
891
01:30:08,903 --> 01:30:10,101
Well...
892
01:30:10,238 --> 01:30:13,239
Love to invite you to the castle,
both of you...
893
01:30:13,366 --> 01:30:18,194
...but I'm sure you wouldn't dream
of leaving your young man.
894
01:30:20,039 --> 01:30:22,079
No, I guess not.
895
01:30:22,208 --> 01:30:26,835
- Although sometimes I wonder.
- Is something troubling you?
896
01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:30,546
Well, suddenly he seems so different.
I mean, so indifferent.
897
01:30:30,675 --> 01:30:34,423
He's tired all the time,
not interested in me at all.
898
01:30:34,554 --> 01:30:37,341
I'm sure there must be some explanation.
899
01:30:37,473 --> 01:30:39,799
I'm beginning to think
he's got another girl.
900
01:30:39,934 --> 01:30:43,766
That's ridiculous! Why would
anybody with a... girl like you...
901
01:30:43,896 --> 01:30:46,814
Somebody ought to give
that young man a good talking to.
902
01:30:46,941 --> 01:30:49,859
- Would you like to meet him?
- Meet him?
903
01:30:50,153 --> 01:30:52,441
He's waiting for me across the street.
904
01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:55,323
I really ought to be getting to the airport.
905
01:30:55,450 --> 01:30:58,569
Oh, it'll only take a minute.
Come on. We'll buy you a drink.
906
01:30:58,703 --> 01:31:03,164
Thank you, but no thank you.
I mean, while I'm getting my divorce...
907
01:31:03,291 --> 01:31:05,782
...we really shouldn't be
seen with each other.
908
01:31:05,918 --> 01:31:10,627
Yes. Yes, you must be careful. Maybe we
shouldn't even leave the hotel together.
909
01:31:10,757 --> 01:31:15,881
Capital suggestion. Shall we
rendezvous again next Monday, hm?
910
01:31:16,012 --> 01:31:18,051
Of course.
911
01:31:18,681 --> 01:31:20,970
Oh, I don't feel right about this.
912
01:31:23,186 --> 01:31:26,021
It's taking money under false pretences.
913
01:31:26,147 --> 01:31:29,730
- After all, I don't do anything for you.
- Balderdash.
914
01:31:29,859 --> 01:31:34,568
Why, if it weren't for this arrangement
of ours, I should go through the ceiling.
915
01:31:34,697 --> 01:31:37,235
Of course, it must be very boring for you.
916
01:31:37,367 --> 01:31:39,406
Not at all. I enjoy it.
917
01:31:39,535 --> 01:31:40,578
Oh.
918
01:31:41,454 --> 01:31:44,123
You've made me a very happy man.
919
01:31:44,874 --> 01:31:47,365
Half-man, I should say.
920
01:31:49,003 --> 01:31:51,043
Well, ta-ta...
921
01:31:53,049 --> 01:31:56,667
...toodle-oo, and tally-ho.
922
01:32:04,769 --> 01:32:07,390
Up. Get up, you lush.
923
01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:11,520
Look at those circles under your eyes.
924
01:32:11,651 --> 01:32:16,028
Carry on like this, and we'll
have to have your face lifted.
925
01:32:25,707 --> 01:32:28,542
Say, you're the Englishman
that's seeing Irma.
926
01:32:28,668 --> 01:32:32,333
- I don't believe we've been introduced.
- I'm Hippolyte the Ox.
927
01:32:32,463 --> 01:32:34,503
What is on your mind, Mr Ox?
928
01:32:34,632 --> 01:32:39,294
I just thought if you were interested
in something new, more unusual...
929
01:32:39,429 --> 01:32:43,592
- Twins, you know.
- What, and play three-handed solitaire?
930
01:32:43,725 --> 01:32:45,764
No, thanks.
931
01:33:11,627 --> 01:33:12,879
Order!
932
01:33:13,671 --> 01:33:16,458
Come on, everybody! It's getting late!
933
01:33:16,591 --> 01:33:19,082
- Let's take a vote.
- All right.
934
01:33:19,218 --> 01:33:23,430
The motion on the floor is that every girl
contributes one day's earnings a week...
935
01:33:23,556 --> 01:33:26,723
...toward our pension fund.
All those in favour?
936
01:33:26,851 --> 01:33:28,891
- Aye!
- Aye!
937
01:33:30,813 --> 01:33:32,853
Carried unanimously.
938
01:33:32,982 --> 01:33:36,066
OK, girls, let's have it.
939
01:33:43,701 --> 01:33:47,117
- I'm back, Nestor.
- Hi. Ooh, that was a rough meeting.
940
01:33:47,246 --> 01:33:49,654
- Here you are.
- Thank you.
941
01:33:50,500 --> 01:33:52,291
Thank you.
942
01:33:52,418 --> 01:33:55,668
- What's that for?
- You just voted for it. The pension fund.
943
01:33:55,797 --> 01:33:56,839
Huh?
944
01:33:57,590 --> 01:33:59,713
Just part of my programme.
945
01:33:59,842 --> 01:34:04,385
Now that I'm president, I'm gonna
get this organisation movin' ahead.
946
01:34:07,225 --> 01:34:11,554
- How did it go with His Lordship?
- Fine. I'm beginning to like him a lot.
947
01:34:11,688 --> 01:34:15,306
It's a good thing the bridge fell on him,
I might be jealous. Cognac.
948
01:34:15,441 --> 01:34:17,600
Pernod for me. Nothing for her.
949
01:34:17,735 --> 01:34:21,151
He's getting a divorce, so maybe now
he can see me more often.
950
01:34:21,280 --> 01:34:24,484
More often? I doubt it.
Where would he get the money?
951
01:34:24,617 --> 01:34:26,989
Well, he's got this big estate.
952
01:34:27,120 --> 01:34:29,492
You know what the taxes are in England?
953
01:34:29,622 --> 01:34:34,035
Why, some of those lords
have to scrounge around for a living.
954
01:34:40,133 --> 01:34:44,380
If he saw me three times a week,
that's 1500 francs.
955
01:34:44,512 --> 01:34:46,552
I could buy you a car.
956
01:34:47,473 --> 01:34:53,677
A sports model. Kiki thinks she's such
a hotshot cos she got her guy a scooter.
957
01:34:53,813 --> 01:34:57,893
Just wait till they see you drivin' up
and down the street with the top down.
958
01:34:58,026 --> 01:35:02,023
- And I'll get you a little cap to go with it.
- What are you doing?
959
01:35:03,072 --> 01:35:06,239
- He's trying to get the lipstick off.
- Lipstick?
960
01:35:06,367 --> 01:35:08,656
- Where did that come from?
- Good question.
961
01:35:08,786 --> 01:35:10,826
- It must have been you.
- That's it.
962
01:35:10,955 --> 01:35:14,241
Me? I was in the hotel with His Lordship.
963
01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:16,617
That's not it.
964
01:35:16,753 --> 01:35:20,003
Oh, yes, I was at the board meeting,
we were takin' a vote...
965
01:35:20,131 --> 01:35:22,622
...and one of the girls
was doin' a little lobbyin'.
966
01:35:22,759 --> 01:35:27,836
- That must be it.
- Which girl was doing a little lobbying?
967
01:35:31,476 --> 01:35:33,515
Come on, Tiger, how about it?
968
01:35:37,940 --> 01:35:40,063
Hey, you dropped something.
969
01:35:40,401 --> 01:35:41,652
Where?
970
01:35:42,612 --> 01:35:43,863
There.
971
01:35:52,121 --> 01:35:55,537
Oh, uh, now, please.
Look, girls, this is ridic...
972
01:36:04,842 --> 01:36:07,298
Now, I'm the president here. Uh-oh.
973
01:36:12,600 --> 01:36:16,218
Well, that's enough.
Let's shake hands and make up, hm?
974
01:36:17,438 --> 01:36:19,107
Oh, why?
975
01:36:22,860 --> 01:36:24,112
Girls!
976
01:36:35,957 --> 01:36:37,996
Oh, no. You wouldn't...
977
01:37:24,714 --> 01:37:25,757
Agh!
978
01:38:09,050 --> 01:38:12,501
Good morning, Tiger. How about
some breakfast? Fresh croissants?
979
01:38:12,637 --> 01:38:15,638
- I better get back before she wakes up.
- You look terrible.
980
01:38:15,765 --> 01:38:19,549
- You must have lost 10 pounds.
- 15. I weighed myself on the meat scales.
981
01:38:19,686 --> 01:38:23,932
What do you expect? Loading, unloading,
in the window, out the window...
982
01:38:24,065 --> 01:38:27,516
...on with the beard, off with the beard.
You're going to fall apart.
983
01:38:27,652 --> 01:38:30,107
I don't care, as long as
I keep her off the streets.
984
01:38:30,238 --> 01:38:33,108
It's a hard way to earn an easy living.
985
01:38:57,473 --> 01:38:58,933
Nestor?
986
01:39:55,073 --> 01:39:59,699
You know, Irma, I'm a little bit
disappointed in you.
987
01:39:59,827 --> 01:40:03,077
You promised me
you wouldn't smoke any more.
988
01:40:06,793 --> 01:40:09,331
Aren't you gonna say anything?
989
01:40:11,756 --> 01:40:15,540
I suppose you're wondering where I was?
990
01:40:15,676 --> 01:40:18,713
- I know where you were.
- You do?
991
01:40:18,846 --> 01:40:22,630
- You were out with the boys.
- Yeah, that's right.
992
01:40:22,767 --> 01:40:25,436
- Don't lie to me!
- Well, where was I?
993
01:40:25,561 --> 01:40:28,017
You were out with Lolita.
994
01:40:29,148 --> 01:40:32,980
That's right.
Let me go to bed. I'm very tired.
995
01:40:33,111 --> 01:40:36,811
- You've been with her every night.
- Oh, no, I haven't.
996
01:40:36,948 --> 01:40:39,071
- No?
- No, not every night.
997
01:40:39,200 --> 01:40:42,901
Sometimes I was with... Amazon Annie...
998
01:40:43,037 --> 01:40:48,376
...and sometimes with Mimi the Maumau,
and sometimes with the twins...
999
01:40:48,501 --> 01:40:51,418
...and... they all want me to handle 'em.
1000
01:40:52,922 --> 01:40:55,378
So I've decided to branch out, you know.
1001
01:40:55,508 --> 01:41:02,590
Business is business. And don't you
forget, around here, I'm numero uno.
1002
01:41:03,975 --> 01:41:05,884
You make me sick!
1003
01:41:08,271 --> 01:41:10,726
What are you gonna do about it?
1004
01:41:16,904 --> 01:41:19,775
This is what you came with. Now get out!
1005
01:41:22,910 --> 01:41:26,991
You're not throwin' me out,
cos you're crazy about me, aren't you?
1006
01:41:27,123 --> 01:41:29,910
- Let go!
- Gonna buy me a new car, remember?
1007
01:41:30,043 --> 01:41:31,834
- And a sports cap.
- Let go!
1008
01:41:31,961 --> 01:41:37,300
And when you buy me the sports cap,
I want it with a little strap in the back.
1009
01:41:37,425 --> 01:41:42,632
That's what you'll get from me. Let them
work for you and see how well you do!
1010
01:41:42,764 --> 01:41:46,761
You think you're numero uno?
I'm numero uno!
1011
01:41:46,893 --> 01:41:50,143
Go outside on the street
and ask the first man you see.
1012
01:41:50,271 --> 01:41:52,513
Ask anybody!
1013
01:42:06,579 --> 01:42:08,619
I'm sorry, it's...
1014
01:42:28,518 --> 01:42:31,969
Here we are in the 7 th inning,
two out, Maury Wills on first.
1015
01:42:32,105 --> 01:42:36,731
The ball game coming to you direct from
LA, over the American Forces Network.
1016
01:42:36,859 --> 01:42:41,023
Marichal on the rubber, into a stretch.
Here's the pitch and there he goes.
1017
01:42:41,155 --> 01:42:46,494
The throw down to second base
is not in time. He's stolen another one.
1018
01:43:08,474 --> 01:43:09,637
Hello.
1019
01:43:09,767 --> 01:43:12,472
Here you are. I was afraid
you mightn't show.
1020
01:43:12,603 --> 01:43:17,942
I didn't realise it was so late. I've been
walking the streets all day... thinking.
1021
01:43:18,067 --> 01:43:21,353
- There's something I'd like to discuss.
- By all means.
1022
01:43:21,487 --> 01:43:23,364
Not here.
1023
01:43:23,865 --> 01:43:26,107
I don't want Nestor to know.
1024
01:43:26,242 --> 01:43:30,489
Let's not take any chances, hm?
Shall we go up to your office?
1025
01:43:45,386 --> 01:43:49,135
Now then, my dear, what is it
that's so important, hm?
1026
01:43:49,974 --> 01:43:54,221
- Did you mean what you said?
- Indeed. What did I say?
1027
01:43:54,354 --> 01:43:57,058
About taking me to England with you.
1028
01:43:58,524 --> 01:44:00,647
Of course I meant it, if I said it.
1029
01:44:00,777 --> 01:44:04,457
And if you say so,
I must've said it, so I meant it.
1030
01:44:04,562 --> 01:44:05,604
I'm ready.
1031
01:44:05,709 --> 01:44:08,741
But you can't go. What about Nestor,
or whatever his name is?
1032
01:44:08,868 --> 01:44:14,028
Nestor, Hippolyte, it doesn't matter.
Sooner or later, they give you a bad time.
1033
01:44:14,165 --> 01:44:17,082
- The brutes.
- So, if you want me to go with you...
1034
01:44:17,210 --> 01:44:19,701
It's a bit of a sticky wicket.
1035
01:44:21,005 --> 01:44:23,876
If it's in any way awkward,
I don't want to embarrass you.
1036
01:44:24,008 --> 01:44:26,843
Not at all, my dear. I'd be delighted.
1037
01:44:26,969 --> 01:44:33,506
It's just that... there's this
ghastly servant problem right now.
1038
01:44:33,643 --> 01:44:37,641
The castle's overrun with plumbers,
the moat is leaking.
1039
01:44:37,772 --> 01:44:42,268
Besides, I'm a shattered man.
I'd be of no use to you.
1040
01:44:44,612 --> 01:44:46,735
Are you sure?
1041
01:44:46,864 --> 01:44:49,818
As a matter of fact,
I'm on my way to Zurich now.
1042
01:44:49,951 --> 01:44:52,027
I wasn't planning to go to England at all.
1043
01:44:52,161 --> 01:44:55,696
Going to consult
a Swiss doctor, a specialist.
1044
01:44:56,499 --> 01:44:59,868
But that's a waste of time.
They can't help you.
1045
01:45:00,002 --> 01:45:03,087
I once knew a specialist,
used to send his patients to me.
1046
01:45:03,214 --> 01:45:05,420
- To you?
- The tough cases.
1047
01:45:05,550 --> 01:45:08,966
Poor guys. Thought they'd run out of gas,
but they were just stalled.
1048
01:45:09,095 --> 01:45:11,882
- All they needed was a little push.
- A push.
1049
01:45:12,014 --> 01:45:15,715
I mean, mentally.
To stimulate their imagination.
1050
01:45:16,269 --> 01:45:19,104
- It's all up here, you know.
- I wish it were.
1051
01:45:19,230 --> 01:45:21,388
I had one patient given up as hopeless...
1052
01:45:21,524 --> 01:45:24,276
...until I started telling him
about the South Seas.
1053
01:45:24,402 --> 01:45:27,522
The South Seas? What a curious gambit.
1054
01:45:27,655 --> 01:45:29,695
It worked.
1055
01:45:32,785 --> 01:45:34,825
- Lie down.
- I beg your pardon?
1056
01:45:34,954 --> 01:45:36,994
Stretch out, relax.
1057
01:45:39,167 --> 01:45:42,251
Close your eyes. I mean, your eye.
1058
01:45:44,964 --> 01:45:47,455
- No tricks now.
- I promise.
1059
01:45:51,929 --> 01:45:54,599
You're in Tahiti. All right?
1060
01:45:54,724 --> 01:45:58,389
Tahiti? Yes, I've been there
with Captain Bligh.
1061
01:45:58,519 --> 01:46:00,595
Mutiny on the Bounty! Ha-ha!
1062
01:46:00,730 --> 01:46:02,769
Down, Lord.
1063
01:46:04,192 --> 01:46:06,231
Now concentrate.
1064
01:46:14,827 --> 01:46:17,828
Palm trees swaying in the breeze...
1065
01:46:18,915 --> 01:46:21,322
...a smell of ripe papayas...
1066
01:46:21,459 --> 01:46:26,798
...a blue lagoon, white sand,
golden-skinned girls.
1067
01:46:27,715 --> 01:46:29,755
Have you got that?
1068
01:46:29,884 --> 01:46:34,546
Blue lagoon, white sand, golden skin.
1069
01:46:35,223 --> 01:46:38,841
- They're beautiful, aren't they?
- Are they ever. Oh...
1070
01:46:38,976 --> 01:46:41,016
How many do you see?
1071
01:46:43,189 --> 01:46:47,353
14, to be exact. They're wearing
grass skirts and coconut shells.
1072
01:46:47,485 --> 01:46:49,691
- No, they're not.
- They're not?
1073
01:46:49,821 --> 01:46:54,068
They're wearing sarongs
and hibiscus blossoms in their hair.
1074
01:46:54,742 --> 01:46:55,785
Oh?
1075
01:46:56,911 --> 01:46:59,402
Yes, by George, you're right.
1076
01:46:59,956 --> 01:47:04,831
Now they take off their sarongs, and they
start washing them in the blue lagoon.
1077
01:47:06,295 --> 01:47:08,335
Indeed. They...
1078
01:47:10,216 --> 01:47:14,510
Look, it's no use. I mean,
I really am out of gas, uh, petrol.
1079
01:47:14,637 --> 01:47:16,796
The tank is completely dry.
1080
01:47:16,931 --> 01:47:20,051
All right, let's forget Tahiti. Lie back.
1081
01:47:26,441 --> 01:47:30,189
- You're in Baghdad.
- Baghdad! Now how did I get there?
1082
01:47:30,319 --> 01:47:31,362
Shh.
1083
01:47:38,745 --> 01:47:40,903
You're in a bazaar.
1084
01:47:42,331 --> 01:47:46,661
You see an exotic woman,
with a veil across her face.
1085
01:47:46,794 --> 01:47:50,246
Big, black, almond eyes.
1086
01:47:51,049 --> 01:47:54,085
She winks at you. You follow her.
1087
01:47:54,761 --> 01:47:57,133
She disappears into a palace.
1088
01:47:57,263 --> 01:48:01,592
There are two Nubian slaves standing
guard, so you climb over the wall.
1089
01:48:02,643 --> 01:48:04,802
- How high?
- Ten feet.
1090
01:48:04,937 --> 01:48:07,773
- I'll never make it.
- Try, you must try.
1091
01:48:07,899 --> 01:48:11,848
I'm trying. Ow! Broken glass on the top.
1092
01:48:11,986 --> 01:48:14,738
- Are you over?
- Just barely.
1093
01:48:15,573 --> 01:48:16,616
Good.
1094
01:48:17,450 --> 01:48:20,653
Now you're inside the harem.
1095
01:48:22,121 --> 01:48:24,577
You're lying on silk pillows.
1096
01:48:25,541 --> 01:48:28,708
Odalisques are fanning you.
1097
01:48:28,836 --> 01:48:31,541
They're feeding you grapes...
1098
01:48:32,215 --> 01:48:34,670
...painting your toenails...
1099
01:48:35,510 --> 01:48:39,507
...while she does
the dance of the seven veils.
1100
01:48:41,474 --> 01:48:45,472
She takes off... the fourth veil...
1101
01:48:47,355 --> 01:48:49,810
...the fifth...
1102
01:48:49,941 --> 01:48:52,692
...the sixth...
1103
01:49:12,046 --> 01:49:15,047
You will be gentle, won't you?
1104
01:49:31,524 --> 01:49:33,564
Your Lordship!
1105
01:49:40,575 --> 01:49:43,244
Are you all right, Your Lordship?
1106
01:49:46,748 --> 01:49:50,615
I will be, as soon as I pull myself together.
1107
01:49:53,337 --> 01:49:56,956
You know, I think Lady X
must have been out of her mind.
1108
01:49:57,091 --> 01:50:00,840
With you in the house, why would
she go puttering around in the garden?
1109
01:50:00,970 --> 01:50:03,093
How kind of you to say so.
1110
01:50:03,222 --> 01:50:05,630
What time does our plane
leave for London?
1111
01:50:05,767 --> 01:50:07,806
- Eight o'clock.
- Oh.
1112
01:50:07,935 --> 01:50:10,391
I'd better go home and pack.
1113
01:50:11,439 --> 01:50:15,437
Look, I'm afraid I can't take you
to my castle in Worcestershire.
1114
01:50:15,568 --> 01:50:17,810
- Why not?
- Because...
1115
01:50:17,945 --> 01:50:20,899
...I don't have a castle
in Worcestershire.
1116
01:50:21,032 --> 01:50:24,033
Of course not, it's in Yorkshire.
1117
01:50:24,160 --> 01:50:27,114
Quite, but... what I mean to say...
1118
01:50:27,914 --> 01:50:31,614
...I haven't been entirely frank
with you, my dear Irma.
1119
01:50:31,751 --> 01:50:35,962
- You haven't?
- For instance, what I told you about...
1120
01:50:36,672 --> 01:50:40,207
...unicorns. There are no unicorns.
1121
01:50:40,343 --> 01:50:42,011
So what?
1122
01:50:42,512 --> 01:50:46,675
So she'll play with the peacocks. And
don't worry about the servant problem.
1123
01:50:46,808 --> 01:50:51,885
I'll cook for you, I'll serve you tea
in the afternoon, I'll knit you sweaters.
1124
01:50:53,064 --> 01:50:55,103
I can be ready in 20 minutes.
1125
01:50:55,233 --> 01:51:00,571
I'll meet you at the bistro across
the street, Chez Moustache, all right?
1126
01:51:00,697 --> 01:51:03,484
Hey, are you there?
1127
01:51:04,158 --> 01:51:07,444
- Your Lordship?
- Yes, I'm there.
1128
01:51:07,578 --> 01:51:09,618
I mean, I'm here.
1129
01:51:10,415 --> 01:51:14,744
And I'll be there. The bistro.
1130
01:51:18,047 --> 01:51:21,630
Oh, and one more thing.
Keep away from Nestor. He's vicious.
1131
01:51:21,759 --> 01:51:24,546
They don't call him Tiger for nothing.
1132
01:52:04,302 --> 01:52:07,837
I say there, this is a bit of a jolly surprise.
1133
01:52:07,972 --> 01:52:11,008
- What'll it be, Your Lordship?
- Don't mention that swine.
1134
01:52:11,184 --> 01:52:14,303
Do you know what they've been
doing in that hotel room?
1135
01:52:14,437 --> 01:52:16,476
Shattered man, my eye!
1136
01:52:16,606 --> 01:52:20,105
And now they're running off to England -
Irma and the lord.
1137
01:52:20,234 --> 01:52:22,476
She's packing.
She's going to walk out on me.
1138
01:52:22,612 --> 01:52:25,185
- Nestor.
- He's taking her to his bloody castle.
1139
01:52:25,323 --> 01:52:27,695
She's gonna make tea for him,
knit him sweaters.
1140
01:52:27,825 --> 01:52:30,696
- You're talking crazy.
- They won't get away with it.
1141
01:52:30,828 --> 01:52:34,162
I'll tear him apart.
I'll... throw him in the Seine.
1142
01:52:34,290 --> 01:52:35,750
Nestor.
1143
01:52:39,545 --> 01:52:41,704
There is no lord.
1144
01:52:42,799 --> 01:52:45,337
- There isn't?
- That's right.
1145
01:52:45,468 --> 01:52:48,041
How do you like that phoney?
He's been lying to her.
1146
01:52:48,179 --> 01:52:50,848
What do you mean "he"?
There is no "he" - it's you!
1147
01:52:50,973 --> 01:52:54,757
Of course it's me, but she doesn't
know that. And she doesn't know I know.
1148
01:52:54,894 --> 01:52:58,643
But I know that she likes him
better than she likes me.
1149
01:52:58,773 --> 01:52:59,816
See?
1150
01:53:00,900 --> 01:53:03,771
She wouldn't even
take any money from him.
1151
01:53:04,779 --> 01:53:09,690
- I think you'd better have a drink.
- The world isn't big enough for two of us.
1152
01:53:09,826 --> 01:53:13,360
Lord X is gonna walk down
the street and disappear for ever.
1153
01:53:13,496 --> 01:53:18,039
- Nobody's ever gonna see him again.
- I didn't want to see him in the first place.
1154
01:53:18,167 --> 01:53:21,999
- Get my other clothes from the cellar.
- Coming up.
1155
01:53:32,473 --> 01:53:37,182
Somebody oughta warn him. He shouldn't
flash all that money around here.
1156
01:53:37,311 --> 01:53:41,261
- He's liable to get hit over the head.
- Are you gonna warn him?
1157
01:53:41,399 --> 01:53:44,269
Me? It's none of my business.
1158
01:53:47,822 --> 01:53:50,278
In a way, I'm going to miss you,
Your Lordship.
1159
01:53:50,408 --> 01:53:55,651
Pull yourself together, old chap, hm?
Stiff upper lip and all that. Cheerio.
1160
01:53:58,166 --> 01:54:00,621
One more for the road.
1161
01:54:05,840 --> 01:54:08,509
Jojo, have you got
your blackjack on you?
1162
01:54:08,634 --> 01:54:11,635
Sorry. How about some brass knuckles?
1163
01:55:53,990 --> 01:55:56,397
Goodbye, Your bloody Lordship!
1164
01:56:00,621 --> 01:56:03,539
I hate to see you go,
but c'est la vie, old chap!
1165
01:56:09,047 --> 01:56:11,253
I hope you float back to England...
1166
01:56:11,382 --> 01:56:14,253
...and I hope the fish
eat your bloody liver!
1167
01:57:03,643 --> 01:57:06,312
Hey, police! Police!
1168
01:57:30,086 --> 01:57:32,541
What's the time, Moustache?
1169
01:57:33,339 --> 01:57:36,091
- Five after eight.
- Sure your watch isn't fast?
1170
01:57:36,217 --> 01:57:39,171
Maybe, or maybe whoever
you're waiting for is slow.
1171
01:57:42,306 --> 01:57:46,553
Here you are. Tomorrow at this time you'll
be chasing peacocks across the lawn.
1172
01:57:46,686 --> 01:57:49,770
- Where are you going, anyway?
- I'm going to visit my aunt.
1173
01:57:49,897 --> 01:57:52,353
She lives in Brussels.
That's Belgium, you know.
1174
01:57:52,483 --> 01:57:56,066
Used to be a concert pianist,
but runs an orphanage now.
1175
01:57:56,195 --> 01:58:00,110
Oh, come on, Irma, you can do
better than that. Is that seat taken?
1176
01:58:00,241 --> 01:58:02,862
- Yes.
- Café au lait and a croissant.
1177
01:58:06,372 --> 01:58:11,533
That aunt, could it be she has a beard and
an eye patch and her name is Lord X?
1178
01:58:13,546 --> 01:58:16,500
If that's who you're waiting for,
he's not gonna show up.
1179
01:58:16,632 --> 01:58:19,170
Can't I sit here without
being annoyed by riffraff?
1180
01:58:19,302 --> 01:58:24,177
We get all kinds. Just a while ago,
we had a real live English lord in here.
1181
01:58:24,307 --> 01:58:26,679
- He was here?
- Left about an hour ago.
1182
01:58:26,809 --> 01:58:31,270
- Did he say where he was going?
- No. No message, no nothing.
1183
01:58:31,397 --> 01:58:33,888
I saw him walkin' down
the street toward the river.
1184
01:58:34,025 --> 01:58:36,064
But we have a date here.
1185
01:58:36,194 --> 01:58:40,026
Maybe he forgot.
Maybe he changed his mind.
1186
01:58:40,573 --> 01:58:43,408
He'll come for me. He's a gentleman.
1187
01:58:43,534 --> 01:58:46,903
Gentleman? Don't make me laugh.
1188
01:58:47,038 --> 01:58:51,367
- You know nothing about men.
- I know nothing about men?
1189
01:58:51,501 --> 01:58:54,834
And you know why?
Because you've been with too many.
1190
01:58:54,962 --> 01:58:57,916
- Thanks a lot.
- You think you're such an expert on love.
1191
01:58:58,049 --> 01:59:00,291
You can't even tell
when somebody loves you!
1192
01:59:00,426 --> 01:59:02,086
- Like who?
- Like me.
1193
01:59:02,220 --> 01:59:06,846
Like hell. You only love
that 500 francs twice a week.
1194
01:59:06,974 --> 01:59:09,679
What do I have to do to prove it to you?
1195
01:59:23,908 --> 01:59:27,692
Nestor Patou, I arrest you
for the murder of Lord X.
1196
01:59:27,829 --> 01:59:31,696
- What? The murder of who?
- You recognise these clothes?
1197
01:59:34,460 --> 01:59:39,703
That's his umbrella and his eye patch
and his solitaire card.
1198
01:59:39,841 --> 01:59:41,418
- Thank you.
- Where's the lord?
1199
01:59:41,551 --> 01:59:43,757
- At the bottom of the Seine.
- Oh, no!
1200
01:59:43,886 --> 01:59:46,294
That's a lot of nonsense.
There is no Lord X.
1201
01:59:46,431 --> 01:59:49,052
Of course there isn't,
because you killed him.
1202
01:59:49,183 --> 01:59:52,469
I saw the whole thing.
He beat him up, stole his wallet...
1203
01:59:52,603 --> 01:59:55,640
...threw his body in the river.
1204
01:59:55,773 --> 01:59:56,816
Oh!
1205
01:59:56,941 --> 02:00:00,606
Irma, I... Wait a minute.
Moustache, tell 'em.
1206
02:00:00,737 --> 02:00:03,441
Yes, that's the lord's!
1207
02:00:03,573 --> 02:00:07,867
- Oh, he was such a sweet man!
- The old, familiar pattern.
1208
02:00:07,994 --> 02:00:11,944
Policeman turns dishonest, becomes
a mac and finally winds up as a murderer.
1209
02:00:12,081 --> 02:00:15,367
- It's an open and shut case.
- Well, you'll just have to reopen it.
1210
02:00:15,501 --> 02:00:17,328
- Moustache can prove...
- Shh.
1211
02:00:17,462 --> 02:00:19,585
My client has nothing more to say.
1212
02:00:19,714 --> 02:00:23,047
- Your client?
- I have a law degree from Grenoble.
1213
02:00:23,217 --> 02:00:26,882
Used to be one of the leading criminal
attorneys before I was disbarred.
1214
02:00:27,013 --> 02:00:29,848
- But that's another story.
- Put the handcuffs on him.
1215
02:00:29,974 --> 02:00:34,387
Just a moment. The accused has
a right to confer with his lawyer.
1216
02:00:37,357 --> 02:00:40,192
What are you trying to do?
Why not just tell 'em the truth?
1217
02:00:40,318 --> 02:00:43,070
- The truth? That's dynamite.
- But I'm innocent.
1218
02:00:43,196 --> 02:00:46,730
The jails are full of innocent people
because they told the truth.
1219
02:00:46,866 --> 02:00:50,033
You couldn't have killed Lord X
because you were Lord X...
1220
02:00:50,161 --> 02:00:52,319
...only you weren't Lord X,
you were a mac.
1221
02:00:52,455 --> 02:00:55,242
Only you weren't a mac,
you worked in the market...
1222
02:00:55,375 --> 02:00:58,375
...to pay for making love
to your own girl...
1223
02:00:58,503 --> 02:01:01,836
...whom you could have made love to
for free, except you were too tired...
1224
02:01:01,964 --> 02:01:05,464
...from making the money to give to Lord X
to give to Irma to give to you.
1225
02:01:05,593 --> 02:01:11,928
That's the truth. If you tell that mishmash
to a jury, you're a cinch to get 15 years.
1226
02:01:13,434 --> 02:01:18,855
- Wha... what am I gonna do?
- Nothing. Just put yourself in my hands.
1227
02:01:20,775 --> 02:01:23,610
Gentlemen, my client admits his crime.
1228
02:01:23,903 --> 02:01:27,070
- He does?
- I do?
1229
02:01:27,198 --> 02:01:29,321
But let us consider the motive.
1230
02:01:29,450 --> 02:01:31,941
Why would a mac kill
his girl's best customer?
1231
02:01:32,078 --> 02:01:35,447
For 500 francs, when he can get
that twice a week every week?
1232
02:01:35,581 --> 02:01:38,748
It would be like killing the goose
that laid the golden egg.
1233
02:01:38,876 --> 02:01:41,284
Or because they were
running away together?
1234
02:01:41,421 --> 02:01:45,798
Because he was losing his meal ticket?
That's equally ridiculous.
1235
02:01:45,925 --> 02:01:50,219
He's the king around here. He could
have had any girl working for him.
1236
02:01:50,346 --> 02:01:53,057
That's right.
1237
02:01:53,224 --> 02:01:58,016
So we are left with only one
possible motive - jealousy.
1238
02:01:58,146 --> 02:02:03,520
He was so in love with Irma, he couldn't
bear to have any other man touch her.
1239
02:02:03,651 --> 02:02:09,903
Yes, Inspector, it's the old,
familiar pattern - crime of passion.
1240
02:02:11,784 --> 02:02:14,655
Nestor, is that true?
1241
02:02:16,581 --> 02:02:17,623
Yes.
1242
02:02:18,041 --> 02:02:20,080
You did it because you loved me?
1243
02:02:20,209 --> 02:02:22,249
Now you know.
1244
02:02:24,172 --> 02:02:26,793
And I'd kill any other man
who came near you.
1245
02:02:27,508 --> 02:02:29,750
Gets you right here, doesn't it?
1246
02:02:29,886 --> 02:02:32,424
Take him away!
1247
02:02:32,555 --> 02:02:37,894
Nestor, I love you, and I'll wait
for you, no matter how long it takes.
1248
02:02:49,947 --> 02:02:54,574
You won't have to wait very long.
This is France, a civilised country.
1249
02:02:54,702 --> 02:02:57,193
L'amour, toujours l'amour.
1250
02:02:57,330 --> 02:02:59,619
When the jury hears my summation -
1251
02:02:59,749 --> 02:03:02,666
two people in the gutter,
reaching for the stars -
1252
02:03:02,794 --> 02:03:04,667
they'll cry, they'll cheer...
1253
02:03:04,796 --> 02:03:08,580
...they'll carry him out of
the courtroom on their shoulders.
1254
02:03:24,065 --> 02:03:26,104
Hey, Patou!
1255
02:03:30,071 --> 02:03:31,322
Patou!
1256
02:03:37,495 --> 02:03:39,951
There's a visitor here to see you.
1257
02:03:59,726 --> 02:04:02,430
- Oh, it's you.
- Shh.
1258
02:04:05,023 --> 02:04:07,229
You're lucky I can't get my hands on you.
1259
02:04:07,358 --> 02:04:11,059
- That's no way to talk to your lawyer.
- You were gonna get me off scot-free.
1260
02:04:11,195 --> 02:04:13,568
They were gonna carry me
out on their shoulders.
1261
02:04:13,698 --> 02:04:18,490
- Well, you can't win 'em all.
- 15 years at hard labour, for what?
1262
02:04:18,745 --> 02:04:22,956
It's too bad you didn't get sentenced to
death. I'd have had it commuted to life...
1263
02:04:23,082 --> 02:04:26,036
...and I could have gotten you
paroled by Christmas.
1264
02:04:26,169 --> 02:04:29,787
But a 15-year sentence,
that's neither here nor there.
1265
02:04:30,882 --> 02:04:33,207
Never mind that,
tell me about Irma. How is she?
1266
02:04:33,342 --> 02:04:37,921
She's fine. Here,
I brought you a little souvenir.
1267
02:04:38,056 --> 02:04:41,555
Thanks. Why doesn't she
come to see me any more?
1268
02:04:41,684 --> 02:04:45,896
- Why haven't I heard from her?
- Well, she doesn't want you to find out.
1269
02:04:46,022 --> 02:04:48,477
Find out what? She's not
back on the street again?
1270
02:04:48,608 --> 02:04:52,522
Oh, no. That's over with. She's still
working at the fish market as a cashier.
1271
02:04:52,653 --> 02:04:55,026
Well, then, what is it? I wanna know.
1272
02:04:55,156 --> 02:04:57,065
- She's expecting.
- Who?
1273
02:04:57,200 --> 02:05:00,699
Who do you think? She's out to here.
She's going to have a baby.
1274
02:05:00,828 --> 02:05:02,702
A baby? Are you sure?
1275
02:05:02,830 --> 02:05:05,748
I'd be greatly disappointed
if it were anything else.
1276
02:05:05,875 --> 02:05:08,496
- When?
- Any day now.
1277
02:05:08,628 --> 02:05:12,791
Listen, Moustache, I gotta get outta here.
I wanna be with her. She needs me.
1278
02:05:12,924 --> 02:05:16,375
- Here, I brought you another souvenir.
- More stockings?
1279
02:05:16,511 --> 02:05:18,550
And another.
1280
02:05:19,472 --> 02:05:22,675
- And another.
- Have you gone mad?
1281
02:05:22,809 --> 02:05:27,269
- And one more.
- What am I gonna do with all of these?
1282
02:05:28,523 --> 02:05:35,237
If you don't want them, throw them out
the window. But first... tie them together.
1283
02:05:35,363 --> 02:05:36,406
What?
1284
02:06:10,857 --> 02:06:12,849
You can't park here.
1285
02:06:12,984 --> 02:06:15,901
There's something wrong with my motor.
1286
02:08:23,031 --> 02:08:25,070
- Nestor!
- Shh.
1287
02:08:26,868 --> 02:08:29,193
What are you doing here?
How did you get away?
1288
02:08:29,328 --> 02:08:31,321
- Give me your hand.
- Did they let you out?
1289
02:08:31,456 --> 02:08:33,614
- Try this on.
- You escaped, didn't you?
1290
02:08:33,750 --> 02:08:36,501
- Hold still.
- Darling, why did you do that?
1291
02:08:36,627 --> 02:08:40,839
- Now they'll give you another five years.
- I was afraid of that, it's too big.
1292
02:08:40,965 --> 02:08:43,207
- What's this?
- We're gonna be married.
1293
02:08:43,342 --> 02:08:47,506
- Married?
- You want our child to be legitimate?
1294
02:08:47,638 --> 02:08:51,054
- Why, yes, of course.
- How is the baby?
1295
02:08:51,184 --> 02:08:55,098
Full of mischief. Yesterday
it kicked Coquette right off my lap.
1296
02:08:55,229 --> 02:08:59,772
Takes after me. When I was six months
old, I could change my own diapers.
1297
02:09:02,779 --> 02:09:04,487
- Nestor...
- What is it?
1298
02:09:04,614 --> 02:09:08,197
- I can't marry you.
- What do you mean, you can't marry me?
1299
02:09:08,326 --> 02:09:12,869
- Because I love you.
- You love me, so you can't marry me?
1300
02:09:12,997 --> 02:09:17,955
That's right. Because it isn't our baby.
You're not the father.
1301
02:09:19,045 --> 02:09:20,713
I'm not?
1302
02:09:21,214 --> 02:09:23,372
Who's the father? I'll kill him!
1303
02:09:23,508 --> 02:09:26,758
You already did. It was Lord X.
1304
02:09:26,886 --> 02:09:28,346
Lord X?
1305
02:09:30,223 --> 02:09:35,928
- Well, what... what makes you think?
- A woman always knows these things.
1306
02:09:36,062 --> 02:09:38,351
I don't care. I'll marry you anyway.
1307
02:09:38,481 --> 02:09:42,182
And I'll raise it
just as if it were my own child.
1308
02:10:03,965 --> 02:10:06,420
They've got the place surrounded.
1309
02:10:07,677 --> 02:10:12,054
Maybe you could go through
the kitchen window and over the roof.
1310
02:10:12,181 --> 02:10:14,637
No, I prefer the closet.
1311
02:10:15,601 --> 02:10:19,101
The closet?
That's the first place they'll look.
1312
02:10:24,193 --> 02:10:26,233
Open up! Police!
1313
02:10:29,991 --> 02:10:32,446
Come on! We know he's in there.
1314
02:10:39,584 --> 02:10:40,626
Yah!
1315
02:10:43,755 --> 02:10:46,127
All right, where's Nestor?
1316
02:10:46,257 --> 02:10:49,958
Don't you know? He's in jail. You can
visit him there every other Sunday.
1317
02:10:50,094 --> 02:10:52,716
Cute, huh? Let's search the place.
1318
02:11:21,542 --> 02:11:24,330
- He's not in there.
- Not in there.
1319
02:12:11,926 --> 02:12:14,382
- Not under here.
- Not under here.
1320
02:12:17,724 --> 02:12:21,887
Come here, everybody.
This is the man we're looking for.
1321
02:12:52,759 --> 02:12:55,878
- No sign of him.
- No sign of him.
1322
02:12:58,097 --> 02:13:03,174
Tell him he'd better give himself up, or
he'll spend the rest of his life behind bars!
1323
02:13:03,311 --> 02:13:05,350
Let's go, men.
1324
02:13:09,400 --> 02:13:11,607
- What's the matter?
- Oh, nothing.
1325
02:13:12,487 --> 02:13:14,526
Let's go, men.
1326
02:13:23,164 --> 02:13:27,826
Did you hear what he said?
What are you going to do?
1327
02:13:27,960 --> 02:13:30,997
Well, the first thing I have
to do is exchange the ring.
1328
02:13:31,130 --> 02:13:34,795
But we can't get married now.
You must run, you must hide.
1329
02:13:34,926 --> 02:13:39,422
Nonsense. We'll have a church wedding
with ushers and bridesmaids and flowers.
1330
02:13:39,555 --> 02:13:43,849
- Moustache is making the arrangements.
- But they'll catch you, lock you away.
1331
02:13:43,976 --> 02:13:49,137
- I'm so afraid I'll never see you again.
- Don't be. Maybe a miracle will happen.
1332
02:13:49,273 --> 02:13:52,109
- I don't believe in miracles.
- Don't you?
1333
02:13:53,069 --> 02:13:57,814
When I met you, you were a streetwalker.
Now you're gonna be a wife and a mother.
1334
02:13:57,949 --> 02:14:00,522
Isn't that a miracle?
1335
02:14:07,208 --> 02:14:10,209
They're wasting their time
looking for him at Irma's.
1336
02:14:10,336 --> 02:14:13,705
- Don't worry, they'll catch him.
- No, they won't. Too much brains.
1337
02:14:13,840 --> 02:14:15,879
He's smarter than the whole police force?
1338
02:14:16,008 --> 02:14:19,958
No, but I am. They're up
against the mastermind.
1339
02:14:20,096 --> 02:14:23,963
Oh. I'll bet by now you have him
on a boat to South America.
1340
02:14:24,100 --> 02:14:26,555
- Guess again.
- To Hong Kong?
1341
02:14:27,729 --> 02:14:30,184
He's right here in town.
1342
02:14:30,314 --> 02:14:33,565
- You don't say?
- It's ordinary common sense.
1343
02:14:33,693 --> 02:14:37,477
You've heard about a criminal always
returning to the scene of the crime?
1344
02:14:37,613 --> 02:14:40,401
The police would never think
of looking there.
1345
02:14:40,533 --> 02:14:44,910
- You mean he's under the same bridge?
- Yeah, the Pont Royal.
1346
02:14:46,831 --> 02:14:49,618
Look, if you open up your mouth
about this to anyone...
1347
02:14:49,751 --> 02:14:55,337
Me? Squeal on a colleague? There's such
a thing as the code of the underworld.
1348
02:15:15,443 --> 02:15:19,108
Desk sergeant? Connect me
with Inspector Lefèvre.
1349
02:15:20,114 --> 02:15:23,732
Just tell him I want to
squeal on a colleague.
1350
02:15:57,110 --> 02:15:58,152
Hey.
1351
02:16:40,069 --> 02:16:43,106
- You!
- I beg your pardon?
1352
02:16:43,239 --> 02:16:46,406
- You're supposed to be dead, murdered.
- Are you quite sure?
1353
02:16:46,534 --> 02:16:50,318
- I saw it with my own eyes.
- Sorry to disappoint you, old boy...
1354
02:16:50,455 --> 02:16:54,583
...but other than a headache, I'm feeling
absolutely chapper, I mean, chipper.
1355
02:16:54,709 --> 02:16:58,541
We've been dragging the river for the
last nine months. Where have you been?
1356
02:16:58,671 --> 02:17:03,380
A fair question. Now, let me see.
I haven't the foggiest.
1357
02:17:03,509 --> 02:17:09,429
All I can remember is that the climate was
rather wet, but the fishing was quite good.
1358
02:17:09,557 --> 02:17:15,430
Now, I trust that that clears things up
satisfactorily, so cheerio and carry on.
1359
02:17:52,809 --> 02:17:54,054
Are you all right?
1360
02:17:54,185 --> 02:17:56,557
The pains are coming
every two minutes now.
1361
02:17:56,688 --> 02:17:59,475
Just try to hold on a little longer.
1362
02:18:08,616 --> 02:18:10,941
Where's the groom?
1363
02:18:19,168 --> 02:18:23,581
Don't worry. If worst comes to worst,
I'll marry you myself.
1364
02:18:45,028 --> 02:18:48,028
- You look lovely.
- Later, later.
1365
02:18:49,198 --> 02:18:52,982
Nestor, wilt thou take Irma
here present for thy lawful wife...
1366
02:18:53,119 --> 02:18:55,954
...according to the rite
of our holy mother, the Church?
1367
02:18:56,080 --> 02:18:57,325
I will.
1368
02:18:57,457 --> 02:19:01,122
Irma, wilt thou take Nestor
here present for thy lawful husband...
1369
02:19:01,252 --> 02:19:03,410
...according to the rite of our holy mother?
1370
02:19:03,546 --> 02:19:04,957
I will.
1371
02:19:05,089 --> 02:19:11,424
Ego conjungo vos in matrimonium, in
nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sanctis.
1372
02:19:11,554 --> 02:19:14,057
Amen.
1373
02:19:18,311 --> 02:19:23,139
Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini,
qui fecit coelum et terram.
1374
02:19:23,524 --> 02:19:25,813
Domine, exaudi orationem meam...
1375
02:19:25,985 --> 02:19:28,144
... et clamor meus ad te veniat.
1376
02:19:28,279 --> 02:19:32,229
Dominus vobiscum
et cum spirito tuo. Oremus.
1377
02:19:57,350 --> 02:20:00,553
- With this ring, I thee wed.
- With this ring, I thee wed.
1378
02:20:00,687 --> 02:20:04,684
- And I pledge thee my fidelity.
- And I pledge thee my fidelity.
1379
02:20:14,575 --> 02:20:16,615
Just a minute, Patou.
1380
02:20:18,037 --> 02:20:20,279
I wanna congratulate you.
It was touching.
1381
02:20:20,415 --> 02:20:23,866
- Awful nice of you to show up.
- We're planning a reception for you.
1382
02:20:24,001 --> 02:20:26,955
- At the police station.
- My wife is about to have...
1383
02:20:27,088 --> 02:20:29,923
A hoax has been perpetrated.
I'll get to the bottom of it.
1384
02:20:30,049 --> 02:20:33,299
- You can't arrest me in a church.
- Arrest you?
1385
02:20:33,428 --> 02:20:36,428
I want you to rejoin the force
and help us solve this case.
1386
02:20:36,556 --> 02:20:38,844
Rejoin the force? Gee, I'd like that.
1387
02:20:38,975 --> 02:20:41,762
Not unless I can have my old job back,
at the playground.
1388
02:20:41,894 --> 02:20:44,599
Playground? Work for
peanuts and jellybeans?
1389
02:20:44,731 --> 02:20:47,815
I'm crazy about children.
I'm about to have one myself.
1390
02:20:50,528 --> 02:20:53,233
I just had it. Excuse me.
1391
02:21:04,500 --> 02:21:08,000
It's a girl. Smoothest delivery I ever had.
1392
02:21:08,129 --> 02:21:11,083
She's beautiful. You delivered the baby?
1393
02:21:11,215 --> 02:21:16,376
Why not? I was chief obstetrician in
Equatorial Africa, under Dr Schweitzer.
1394
02:21:22,060 --> 02:21:23,519
Nestor.
1395
02:21:27,648 --> 02:21:31,563
- They're not taking you away?
- You can call me Officer Patou again.
1396
02:21:31,694 --> 02:21:33,770
- What happened?
- Not now.
1397
02:21:33,905 --> 02:21:37,819
Oh, let me hold her.
1398
02:21:39,786 --> 02:21:43,570
Oh, it's gonna be such fun
bringing her up.
1399
02:21:44,290 --> 02:21:47,908
I can put her in organdie
dresses and pinafores.
1400
02:21:48,044 --> 02:21:50,744
And I'm gonna get her some
green stockings and a puppy.
1401
02:21:50,849 --> 02:21:51,891
Yeah.
1402
02:21:51,996 --> 02:21:55,914
Oh, no. No green stockings. No puppy.
1403
02:21:56,052 --> 02:21:58,091
- No?
- No.
1404
02:22:27,347 --> 02:22:29,122
Cheeribye.
1405
02:22:40,096 --> 02:22:41,956
But that's another story.