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DIGITALLY RESTORED IN 2017

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WINTER LIGHT

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Our Lord, Jesus Christ,
on the night He was betrayed...

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took bread, gave thanks, broke it,

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and gave it unto His disciples, saying,

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"Take and eat. This is my Body
which is given up for you.

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Do this in remembrance of me."

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Likewise he took the cup, gave thanks,

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and gave it to them, saying,
"Drink ye all of it.

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For this is my blood of the new testament

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which is shed for many
for the remission of sin.

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Do this, as oft as ye drink it,
in remembrance of me."

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Let us now pray together,
even as our Lord Jesus hath taught us.

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Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name.

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<i>Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.</i>

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<i>Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses,</i>

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<i>as we forgive those
who trespass against us.</i>

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<i>And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.</i>

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For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory forever.

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Amen.

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The peace of God be with you.

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<i>O Lamb of God</i>

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<i>That takest away the sins of the world</i>

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<i>Give us salvation, O merciful Lord</i>

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<i>O Lamb of God</i>

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<i>That takest away the sins of the world</i>

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<i>Hear our prayers, O merciful Lord</i>

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<i>O Lamb of God</i>

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<i>That takest away</i>

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<i>The sins of the world</i>

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<i>Grant us peace</i>

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<i>And bless our day</i>

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Look straight ahead and fold your hands.

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The body of our Lord Jesus Christ,
which was given for you.

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The body of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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The blood of Christ, shed for thee.

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The blood of Christ, shed for thee.

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The grace and peace of our Lord
Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

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Go in the peace of the Lord.

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Thanks.

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Let us pray.

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We thank thee, Almighty Father,
who, through Thy Son Jesus Christ,

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hast instituted this holy communion
to our consolation and bliss.

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We pray thee: Give us grace
so to commemorate Jesus on earth

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that we may be partakers
in Thy great communion in heaven.

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Give thanks and praise unto the Lord.

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<i>Praise and thanks be unto the Lord</i>

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<i>Hallelujah</i>

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Humble your hearts before God
and receive His blessing.

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The Lord bless you and preserve you.

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The Lord let the light
of His countenance shine upon you,

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and be gracious unto you.

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The Lord turn His face toward you

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and grant you peace.

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In the name of the Father, the Son,

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and the Holy Ghost.

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Amen.

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<i>Yet, dear Lord
I bow down in prayer</i>

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<i>Take my hand firmly into Thine</i>

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<i>Lead me then, my dearest savior</i>

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<i>Take me to the land divine</i>

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<i>And where earthly woes are ended</i>

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<i>And my course is finally run</i>

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<i>Thou wilt take my spirit with Thee</i>

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<i>To share eternity in that house of Thine</i>

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Time to go home.

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- You don't look so good.
- I just need some rest.

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Can't Reverend Broms
take the service at Frostnäs?

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No, he's taking the new car out for a spin.

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- I bet you have the flu.
- My throat's pretty sore.

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Tomas.

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How did it turn out?
- What?

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- Did you find a housekeeper?
- No.

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You won't be able to manage
on your own in the long run.

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I've managed for five years now.

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Why don't you ask Märta Lundberg?

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She's dying to help you out.

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I'd be glad to ask her.

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No, thank you.

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- Hello, Pastor Ericsson.
- Hello, Mr. Frövik.

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- Hi there, Aronsson.
- Hi, Algot.

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How are you? Thanks for the sermon.

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Can we help you with something?

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No, I thought I might be of service.

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Well, there was one thing.

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I need to talk to you, Pastor.

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I'll be at Frostnäs at 3:00.

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And you'll have time to see me?

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Of course, after the service.

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I'll be at the church an hour beforehand
to turn the heat up.

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Will we be using the same hymns?

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You don't look well.

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I've come down with a cold.

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I bet it's the weather. I always...

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Right.

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He has his disability pension
from the railway company

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and a pittance for his services
from the church council, I suppose.

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You have a visitor.

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Mrs. Persson would like to have a word.

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I've got to talk to you, Pastor.

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Yes, of course.

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I'll call you this evening
in case you need a hand.

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Thanks, but that's not necessary.

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Please have a seat.

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Good-bye, Mr. and Mrs. Persson.

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You wished to speak to me?

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Yes.

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Actually, that's not the whole truth.

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Actually, Jonas is the one...

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But he won't talk about it,

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so this morning I decided we should
come to church and see someone.

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You see, we're feeling so lost.

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Well, not me so much,

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but Jonas is at his wit's end.

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Could you talk to him, please?

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Of course.

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How long have you felt troubled?

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It started last spring.
Jonas read about China in the papers.

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The article said the Chinese people
were brought up to hate...

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and that it's only a matter of time
before China has atom bombs.

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They have nothing to lose.
That's what they wrote.

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It doesn't worry me all that much.

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Maybe I'm just short on imagination.

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But Jonas can't stop thinking about it,
and so we discuss it constantly...

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though I can't help him much.

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Not with three kids and one on the way.

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Right.

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Everyone feels this dread...

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to some extent.

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We must trust God.

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We live our simple daily lives,

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and atrocities shatter
the security of our world.

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It's so overwhelming,
and God seems so very remote.

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That's right.

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I feel so helpless.

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I don't know what to say.

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I understand your anguish...

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but life must go on.

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Why do we have to go on living?

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The pastor's not feeling well.
I shouldn't be bothering you with this.

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Besides, we're powerless to do anything.
- Let's discuss it.

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That's impossible.

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Take me home and then come back.

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You and the pastor
need to talk in private.

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When can you be back?

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- We live ten minutes away.
- I'll see you in 20 minutes.

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Promise the pastor you'll be here.

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All right, I promise.

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Is your car in the parking lot?

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Yes, off in the corner.

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I'll be expecting you within half an hour.

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I'll make sure he comes.

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I'll be waiting for you.

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I'll be waiting right here.

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What a ridiculous image.

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Oh, it's you.

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Here's something nice and hot.

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Oh, I brought coffee with me.

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I'm expecting a visitor any minute.

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Don't worry. I won't stay long.

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It's getting pretty cold out.

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Poor Tomas.

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What is it, Tomas?
- It wouldn't matter to you.

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Tell me anyway.

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God's silence.

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God's silence?

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God's silence.

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Jonas Persson and his wife were here,
and I could only spout drivel.

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Yet I had the feeling that each word
was decisive somehow.

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What am I to do?

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Poor little Tomas.

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You should be in bed with a brandy.
You're running quite a temperature.

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Why did you take communion?

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It's a love feast, isn't it?

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Did you read my letter?

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No. I haven't had the time.

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You're hopeless.

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When did it arrive?
- Yesterday. It's on my desk...

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Read it later when you feel like it.

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Another Sunday in the vale of tears.

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I don't feel very well.

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- Want me to feel sorry for you?
- Yes, please.

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Then you'll have to marry me.

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Oh?

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You should marry me.

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Why?

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Then I wouldn't have to leave this place.

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Why would you have to leave?

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As long as I'm a substitute,
I can be transferred.

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Far away from you.

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We'll see what happens.

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Yes, I know.

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You can't marry me
because you don't love me.

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I've got to go.

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Aunt Emma is here,
and she plans to bake a cake.

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Märta.

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Yes, Tomas.

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What if Mr. Persson doesn't return?

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Then you can get some rest
and read my letter.

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You don't understand.

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Here's the coffee.

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Now what?

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Poor Tomas. I really mean it.

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I'm not being very nice to you.
- You don't say.

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You're impossible sometimes.

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"God's silence. God won't speak."

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God has never spoken
because God doesn't exist.

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It's as simple as that.

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Now you'll get the flu.

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That's fine,
seeing as it's a gift from you.

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Would you like me to stay?
- No, that won't be necessary.

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You have a lot to learn.

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Says the schoolmarm.

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You must learn to love.

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And you can teach me that?

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I can't.

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That's not in my power.

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He has to show up.

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My love.

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"We find it difficult
to talk to each other.

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We're both rather shy,

222
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and I tend to retreat into sarcasm."

223
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That's why I'm writing.

224
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I have something important to say.

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Do you remember last summer

226
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when that awful rash
broke out on my hands?

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One evening we were in church
arranging flowers on the altar,

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preparing for a confirmation.

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Do you recall what bad shape I was in?

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My hands all bandaged
and itching so much I couldn't sleep?

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The skin had flaked off,
and my palms were like open sores.

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We busied ourselves with daisies
and cornflowers, or whatever they were,

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and I was feeling irritable.

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Suddenly I got mad at you
and challenged you angrily,

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asking if you actually believed
in the power of prayer.

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You replied that you did.

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In a nasty tone,
I asked if you had prayed for my hands,

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but it hadn't occurred to you to do so.

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I melodramatically demanded
that you do it then and there.

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Oddly enough, you agreed.

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Your compliance enraged me,
and I tore off the bandages.

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You remember the rest.

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The sight of those open sores
affected you greatly.

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You couldn't pray.

245
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The entire situation disgusted you.

246
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I came to understand you later...

247
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but you never understood me.

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We had lived together
for some time at that point.

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Almost two years...

250
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which at least represented some capital
in the face of our emotional poverty.

251
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Our caresses...

252
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and our clumsy attempts
to evade the lack of love between us.

253
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:59,306
When the rash spread
to my forehead and scalp...

254
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I soon noticed how you avoided me.

255
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:06,980
You found me repugnant...

256
00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:11,696
though you tried to spare my feelings.

257
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,874
Then the rash spread to my hands and feet.

258
00:31:20,045 --> 00:31:22,287
And our relationship ended.

259
00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:27,876
That came as a shock to me.

260
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:31,838
I had to face the fact...

261
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:36,388
that we didn't love each other.

262
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:41,936
There was no way to hide from that fact
or turn a blind eye to it.

263
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:51,528
Tomas...

264
00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:55,907
I have never believed in your faith.

265
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:03,746
Mainly because I've never been
tortured by religious tribulations.

266
00:32:04,631 --> 00:32:08,215
My non-Christian family
was characterized by warmth,

267
00:32:08,301 --> 00:32:10,133
togetherness, and joy.

268
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:15,344
God and Jesus
existed only as vague notions.

269
00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:21,726
To me,
your faith seems obscure and neurotic...

270
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:26,275
somehow cruelly overwrought with emotion,
primitive.

271
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:32,023
One thing in particular
I've never been able to fathom:

272
00:32:33,326 --> 00:32:37,616
your peculiar indifference
to Jesus Christ.

273
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:48,752
And now I'm going to tell you
about answered prayers.

274
00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:51,460
Laugh if you feel like it.

275
00:32:52,721 --> 00:32:55,464
Personally,
I don't believe the two are connected.

276
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:58,341
Life is messy enough

277
00:32:58,435 --> 00:33:01,052
without taking the supernatural
into account.

278
00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:10,937
You were going to pray
for my weeping hands,

279
00:33:11,031 --> 00:33:13,648
but the rash left you
dumbstruck with repulsion,

280
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,196
something you later denied.

281
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:21,205
I went berserk and tried to provoke you.

282
00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:24,207
Be quiet!

283
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:28,963
Since you can't pray for me,
I'll do it myself!

284
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:39,140
God, why have you created me
so eternally dissatisfied?

285
00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:41,434
So frightened, so bitter?

286
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:44,892
Why must I realize how wretched I am?

287
00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:49,017
Why must I suffer so hellishly
for my insignificance?

288
00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:54,947
If there is a purpose to my suffering,
then tell me.

289
00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:57,446
so I can bear my pain without complaint.

290
00:33:58,245 --> 00:33:59,986
I'm strong.

291
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:04,874
You made me so very strong
in both body and soul...

292
00:34:06,545 --> 00:34:09,629
but you never give me
a task worthy of my strength.

293
00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:15,718
Give my life meaning,

294
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:18,880
and I'll be your obedient slave.

295
00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:23,267
This autumn, I realized
that my prayers had been answered.

296
00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:27,806
I prayed for clarity of mind,
and I got it.

297
00:34:29,109 --> 00:34:31,351
I realized that I love you.

298
00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:36,109
I prayed for a task
to apply my strength to,

299
00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:37,781
and I received one.

300
00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:40,155
That task is you.

301
00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:47,993
This is what the thoughts
of a schoolmarm might run to

302
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:51,329
when the phone refuses to ring,
when it's dark and lonely.

303
00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:03,261
What I lack entirely
is the capacity to show you my love.

304
00:35:03,727 --> 00:35:05,764
I haven't a clue how to do that.

305
00:35:06,980 --> 00:35:11,145
I've been so miserable,
I've even considered praying some more.

306
00:35:12,485 --> 00:35:16,274
But I still have a shred
of self-respect left in spite of it all.

307
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:24,870
My dearest Tomas...

308
00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:29,746
this turned out to be a long letter.

309
00:35:33,214 --> 00:35:35,922
But now I've put down in writing
what I never dared say

310
00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:38,466
when you were in my arms.

311
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,676
I love you.

312
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,472
And I live for you.

313
00:35:49,105 --> 00:35:51,142
Take me and use me.

314
00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:56,565
Beneath all my false pride
and independent airs,

315
00:35:57,155 --> 00:35:58,771
I have only one wish:

316
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:02,484
to be allowed to live for someone else.

317
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,028
It's so terribly difficult.

318
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:14,086
When I think about it,

319
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:16,664
I can't see
how I will be able to pull it off.

320
00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:19,254
Maybe it's all just a mistake.

321
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:26,390
Tell me I'm not wrong, darling.

322
00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:18,021
I'm so glad you came.
It's been a long wait.

323
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:20,061
I'm sorry I'm late.

324
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,488
I didn't mean it as a reproach.

325
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:27,443
Please, take your coat off.
I've got some nice hot coffee.

326
00:37:27,537 --> 00:37:28,994
No, thank you.

327
00:37:37,839 --> 00:37:40,456
I don't expect you spend
much time at sea this time of year?

328
00:37:41,134 --> 00:37:44,218
We just take short fishing trips.
That's all.

329
00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:46,462
Plenty to do ashore?

330
00:37:46,556 --> 00:37:51,301
Yes, I'm building a new boat
over at Törnström's yard.

331
00:37:51,394 --> 00:37:53,306
An excellent establishment.

332
00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:55,604
I had my own boat built there...

333
00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:57,982
at Törnström's yard.

334
00:38:00,487 --> 00:38:02,524
Do you have money worries?

335
00:38:03,865 --> 00:38:06,824
Forgive me for asking, but things
like that can drive a man to despair.

336
00:38:06,910 --> 00:38:09,323
That's true.

337
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:15,916
How long have you considered
taking your own life?

338
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,786
I'm not sure.

339
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,789
A long time.

340
00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:25,217
Have you spoken to a doctor?

341
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,590
I mean, are you in good health?

342
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,171
As far as I know.

343
00:38:29,974 --> 00:38:32,261
It's not unusual to...

344
00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:38,889
Do you get along with your wife?

345
00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:42,476
Karin's all right. She's all right.

346
00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:47,231
So it all boils down
to this business about China.

347
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,322
Listen, Jonas.

348
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:57,282
I'm going to be frank with you.

349
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,962
You know my wife died four years ago.

350
00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,340
I loved her.

351
00:39:06,636 --> 00:39:08,298
My life was over.

352
00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,929
I'm not afraid to die,

353
00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:13,678
and there was no reason for me to hang on.

354
00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:16,097
But I did.

355
00:39:18,106 --> 00:39:21,725
Not for my own sake,
but to be of some use.

356
00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:27,021
I had great dreams once.

357
00:39:27,657 --> 00:39:29,819
I was going to make my mark on the world.

358
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,739
The sort of ideas you have
when you're young.

359
00:39:33,997 --> 00:39:36,535
I knew nothing of evil or cruelty.

360
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:39,241
When I was ordained,
I was as innocent as a baby.

361
00:39:41,713 --> 00:39:44,877
Then everything happened at once.

362
00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:48,797
I was a seaman's pastor in Lisbon

363
00:39:49,679 --> 00:39:51,887
during the Spanish Civil War.

364
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:54,052
I refused to see what was going on.

365
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:57,388
I refused to accept reality.

366
00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:02,689
My God and I resided in an organized
world where everything made sense.

367
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:15,698
You see,

368
00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:17,700
I'm no good as a clergyman.

369
00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:21,830
I put my faith in an improbable
and private image of a fatherly god.

370
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,877
One who loved mankind, of course,

371
00:40:23,963 --> 00:40:25,579
but me most of all.

372
00:40:29,469 --> 00:40:32,428
Do you see, Jonas,
what a monstrous mistake I made?

373
00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:38,342
An ignorant, spoiled and anxious wretch
makes a rotten clergyman.

374
00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:45,062
Picture my prayers to an echo-god

375
00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:47,768
who gave benign answers
and reassuring blessings.

376
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:52,823
Every time I confronted God
with the realities I witnessed...

377
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,994
he turned into something
ugly and revolting.

378
00:40:57,830 --> 00:41:00,447
A spider God, a monster.

379
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:06,036
So I sought to shield Him from life,

380
00:41:06,756 --> 00:41:09,123
clutching my image of Him
to myself in the dark.

381
00:41:11,344 --> 00:41:13,631
The only person
I showed my god to was my wife.

382
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:19,050
She supported me,
encouraged me, and helped me.

383
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:22,515
Patched up the holes.

384
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,393
Our dreams.

385
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,020
I'd better be going.

386
00:41:29,779 --> 00:41:31,145
No, don't go.

387
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:33,947
I want you to understand
why I talk so much about myself.

388
00:41:34,033 --> 00:41:38,824
So you realize what a wretch I am,
what a poor beggar...

389
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:42,577
I must be going, or Karin will be worried.

390
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,408
Please stay a little bit longer.

391
00:41:48,381 --> 00:41:50,498
Let's have a nice, calm discussion.

392
00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:57,137
Forgive me for talking
in such a confused manner,

393
00:41:57,932 --> 00:42:00,515
but all this suddenly hit me.

394
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,607
If there is no God...

395
00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:16,023
would it really make any difference?

396
00:42:19,495 --> 00:42:21,532
Life would become understandable.

397
00:42:22,206 --> 00:42:23,697
What a relief.

398
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:27,952
And thus death would be
a snuffing out of life.

399
00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:31,167
The dissolution of body and soul.

400
00:42:32,925 --> 00:42:36,043
Cruelty, loneliness, and fear...

401
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,639
all these things would be
straightforward and transparent.

402
00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:44,972
Suffering is incomprehensible,
so it needs no explanation.

403
00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:51,688
There is no creator.

404
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:56,188
No sustainer of life.

405
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:01,159
No design.

406
00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:46,780
God...

407
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:51,119
why have you forsaken me?

408
00:45:18,341 --> 00:45:20,003
Now I'm free.

409
00:45:21,594 --> 00:45:23,130
Free at last.

410
00:45:37,443 --> 00:45:40,481
I had this fleeting hope

411
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:46,655
that everything wouldn't turn out
to be illusions, dreams, and lies.

412
00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:17,347
I have to get ready.

413
00:46:18,442 --> 00:46:20,684
The service at Frostnäs starts at 3:00.

414
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,690
I'm coming with you.

415
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:23,941
No.

416
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:33,706
I saw your car, Pastor, so I came over.

417
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:38,080
Fredriksson's boys found him.

418
00:46:39,463 --> 00:46:41,329
Just down the hill.

419
00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:45,171
It's Jonas Persson.

420
00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:49,387
He shot himself
in the head with his rifle.

421
00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:54,134
The police superintendent is at the scene.

422
00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:56,641
The boys reported it immediately.

423
00:46:57,189 --> 00:47:01,775
I met them on my way here.
They were terrified.

424
00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:11,105
Could you please guard the body
until the van arrives?

425
00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:13,607
Good-bye. Please call me.

426
00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:38,231
Good-bye, Tomas.

427
00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:41,110
Maybe we'll talk this week.
- Do you have any aspirin?

428
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,738
- Sure, and cough syrup, too.
- That might be good.

429
00:52:43,827 --> 00:52:45,159
Come in.

430
00:52:45,245 --> 00:52:47,407
But isn't your aunt visiting?

431
00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:50,957
Wait in the schoolroom, then.
I'll just be a minute.

432
00:53:48,851 --> 00:53:50,342
- Hello.
- Good day.

433
00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:53,144
Whose boy are you?
- The Strands'.

434
00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:55,472
- How old are you?
- Ten.

435
00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:59,059
- What brings you here on a Sunday?
- I left something in my desk.

436
00:53:59,945 --> 00:54:02,278
- What's the dog's name?
- Jim.

437
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:07,738
Is he yours?

438
00:54:07,828 --> 00:54:09,035
No.

439
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:13,240
He must be your big brother's,
the one who'll be confirmed this year.

440
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,790
Yes.

441
00:54:15,586 --> 00:54:17,106
Will you go to confirmation class too?

442
00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:18,582
No.

443
00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:21,251
Why not?

444
00:54:22,301 --> 00:54:23,417
I don't know.

445
00:54:24,845 --> 00:54:26,928
Does your brother find it boring?

446
00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:28,630
I don't know.

447
00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:32,550
Well, good-bye, then.

448
00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:35,012
Good-bye.

449
00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:41,355
Hello, Johan. What brings you here?

450
00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:43,983
I left something in my desk.

451
00:54:44,072 --> 00:54:45,813
How's your brother Pelle?

452
00:54:45,908 --> 00:54:49,322
He's much better.
He got out of bed Friday.

453
00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:52,074
He'll be back in school
by the middle of next week.

454
00:54:52,164 --> 00:54:54,201
Good. Give my love to your folks.

455
00:54:54,291 --> 00:54:55,907
Good-bye.

456
00:55:10,933 --> 00:55:14,222
Careful, that's hot.
It's really for gargling with.

457
00:55:14,895 --> 00:55:18,138
You dissolve these tablets in hot water.

458
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,315
Auntie gave them to me.
She swears by them.

459
00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:23,310
No, thank you.

460
00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:27,568
My aunt often suffers from sore throats,
and these really help.

461
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:37,199
Suit yourself. Here's the aspirin.

462
00:55:38,210 --> 00:55:41,669
Would you like some cold water?
- That won't be necessary.

463
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:49,006
You sound so unfriendly.

464
00:55:51,223 --> 00:55:52,634
Sometimes...

465
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:59,054
Sometimes you sound... as if you hated me.

466
00:56:06,488 --> 00:56:11,279
Take the whole box if you like.
Auntie arrived well-stocked.

467
00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:20,040
Can't I come to Frostnäs with you?

468
00:56:21,044 --> 00:56:23,127
I'm going to the Persson's place.

469
00:56:23,213 --> 00:56:24,829
I can wait in the car.

470
00:56:25,340 --> 00:56:27,832
I thought your aunt baked a cake.

471
00:56:30,637 --> 00:56:32,594
I need some time on my own.

472
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:44,936
Are you trying to get rid of me?

473
00:56:45,027 --> 00:56:47,610
Don't do this right now.

474
00:56:47,696 --> 00:56:49,358
I don't have the strength.

475
00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:51,610
Why do you want to get rid of me?

476
00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:56,403
My dear little Tomas, you're getting old.

477
00:56:56,955 --> 00:57:00,744
You're dissatisfied with life,
but most of all with yourself.

478
00:57:01,251 --> 00:57:04,995
And here I am throwing myself
in your arms, clouding the issue.

479
00:57:13,430 --> 00:57:16,013
Or am I forcing it?
- You be the judge.

480
00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:20,518
You have your dreams,
and I pay no attention to them.

481
00:57:20,604 --> 00:57:22,971
At times I even despise them.

482
00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:24,806
I should have been kinder.

483
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:29,064
- Those are just trivialities.
- No, they're not.

484
00:57:29,154 --> 00:57:31,362
You've been unlucky.

485
00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:34,941
I'm so very bossy.
Don't bother contradicting me.

486
00:57:35,035 --> 00:57:37,493
Could you just listen to me?

487
00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:39,787
Sorry, I'm doing all the talking.

488
00:57:44,211 --> 00:57:46,624
I feel humiliated by the gossip.

489
00:57:53,136 --> 00:57:56,049
No one used to pay much attention
to the pastor.

490
00:57:57,349 --> 00:58:00,387
He was simply a fixture,

491
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:03,803
though no one knew exactly
what he was good for.

492
00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:07,394
Then the rumors began about you and me.

493
00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:10,101
All that tittle-tattle.

494
00:58:11,154 --> 00:58:13,020
So that's your reason?

495
00:58:15,075 --> 00:58:17,192
You don't have to sneer at me.

496
00:58:18,870 --> 00:58:20,281
Marry me, then.

497
00:58:25,585 --> 00:58:26,826
No.

498
00:58:27,421 --> 00:58:31,085
It's hard to plead one's own cause.

499
00:58:31,174 --> 00:58:33,587
Yes, it certainly is.

500
00:58:33,677 --> 00:58:37,341
You can't... You mustn't push me away.

501
00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:40,883
How can you be so blind?

502
00:58:40,976 --> 00:58:43,138
Don't get hysterical.

503
00:58:43,228 --> 00:58:46,187
That's what you always say
whenever you see me crying.

504
00:58:47,858 --> 00:58:50,350
I suppose I am a tad hysterical.

505
00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:53,278
Calm down. Don't alarm your aunt.

506
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:56,856
I can't hold back the tears.

507
00:58:56,950 --> 00:59:01,035
Just go on talking.
I can still hear your every word.

508
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:17,385
I thought I'd found a good excuse.

509
00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:21,173
All that stuff
about a pastor's reputation.

510
00:59:21,266 --> 00:59:23,553
But you didn't bite.

511
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:26,389
And I understand that...

512
00:59:27,689 --> 00:59:29,100
since it was a pack of lies.

513
00:59:30,317 --> 00:59:32,650
The real reason...

514
00:59:33,737 --> 00:59:35,820
is that I don't want you.

515
00:59:43,163 --> 00:59:44,825
Did you hear that?

516
00:59:48,543 --> 00:59:50,034
Yes.

517
00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:52,537
Of course I did.

518
00:59:59,763 --> 01:00:01,675
I'm tired of your loving care...

519
01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:04,552
your fussing...

520
01:00:05,644 --> 01:00:07,351
your good advice...

521
01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:11,769
your candlesticks and table runners.

522
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:16,144
I'm fed up with your shortsightedness...

523
01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:19,359
your clumsy hands...

524
01:00:21,159 --> 01:00:22,900
your anxiousness...

525
01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:26,738
your timid displays of affection.

526
01:00:30,001 --> 01:00:33,995
You force me to occupy myself
with your physical condition...

527
01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:36,672
your poor digestion,

528
01:00:37,134 --> 01:00:38,670
your rashes,

529
01:00:39,302 --> 01:00:41,134
your periods,

530
01:00:41,763 --> 01:00:43,220
your frostbitten cheeks.

531
01:00:48,562 --> 01:00:53,523
Once and for all, I have to escape
this junkyard of idiotic trivialities.

532
01:00:56,319 --> 01:00:58,106
I'm sick and tired of it all...

533
01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:01,652
of everything to do with you.

534
01:01:04,536 --> 01:01:07,074
Why didn't you tell me this before?

535
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:10,076
Because of my upbringing.

536
01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:15,837
I was taught to regard women
as beings of a higher order...

537
01:01:17,007 --> 01:01:18,623
admirable creatures,

538
01:01:18,717 --> 01:01:20,800
unassailable martyrs.

539
01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:25,346
And your wife?

540
01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:26,923
I loved her.

541
01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:30,343
You hear me? I loved her.

542
01:01:32,314 --> 01:01:34,977
And I don't love you,
because I love my wife.

543
01:01:35,817 --> 01:01:38,025
When she died, so did I.

544
01:01:38,111 --> 01:01:41,229
I couldn't care less what happens to me.

545
01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:47,572
Am I making myself clear?

546
01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:52,119
I loved her,
and she was everything you could never be

547
01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:53,950
but insist on trying to be.

548
01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:57,875
The way you mimic her behavior
is such an ugly parody.

549
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:03,084
I didn't even know her.

550
01:02:12,854 --> 01:02:14,436
I'd better be going...

551
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:19,484
before I spout even worse bits
of senseless drivel.

552
01:02:20,862 --> 01:02:23,149
Could it get any worse?

553
01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:42,836
Stop rubbing your eyes like that.

554
01:02:45,804 --> 01:02:47,090
Sorry.

555
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:54,260
Stare all you like.

556
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:57,020
I can take it.

557
01:02:58,358 --> 01:03:01,351
I can barely see you without my glasses.

558
01:03:05,073 --> 01:03:07,190
You're all fuzzy...

559
01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:10,989
and your face is just a white blob.

560
01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:15,164
You're not really real.

561
01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:25,799
Yes, I see that I did it all wrong

562
01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:28,673
from the beginning.

563
01:03:29,389 --> 01:03:32,678
I've got to go.
I have to talk to Mrs. Persson.

564
01:03:34,227 --> 01:03:35,968
Every time I've hated you,

565
01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:39,689
I've made an effort
to turn it into compassion.

566
01:03:41,026 --> 01:03:42,813
You can't make it on your own.

567
01:03:43,570 --> 01:03:45,812
You won't survive, Tomas dear.

568
01:03:47,824 --> 01:03:50,111
Nothing can save you.

569
01:03:52,370 --> 01:03:54,362
You'll hate yourself to death.

570
01:03:55,874 --> 01:03:59,117
Can't you be quiet?
Can't you leave me alone?

571
01:03:59,210 --> 01:04:00,997
Can't you just shut up?

572
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:34,781
Would you like to come along?

573
01:04:35,747 --> 01:04:37,659
Do you really want me to?

574
01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:41,288
Or is that fear talking?

575
01:04:42,379 --> 01:04:45,713
Suit yourself. But I'm asking you to come.

576
01:04:47,884 --> 01:04:50,592
Of course I'll come.

577
01:04:51,137 --> 01:04:53,094
I don't have much choice, do I?

578
01:04:59,479 --> 01:05:04,395
Auntie, I'll be back by 6:00.

579
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,146
She must be asleep.
I'll just go check the stove.

580
01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:01,682
Your husband is dead, Mrs. Persson.

581
01:07:02,143 --> 01:07:06,979
They've taken him to the infirmary,
but there's no hope.

582
01:07:07,065 --> 01:07:08,601
He shot himself.

583
01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:49,100
So I'm all alone.

584
01:07:51,401 --> 01:07:53,142
Shall we read from the Bible together?

585
01:07:54,237 --> 01:07:55,398
No.

586
01:07:56,573 --> 01:07:58,064
No, thank you.

587
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:06,117
I've got to let the children know.

588
01:08:14,841 --> 01:08:18,380
I'll be in all evening
if there's anything I can do for you.

589
01:08:18,469 --> 01:08:24,010
I'll come by sometime this week
to make funeral arrangements.

590
01:08:25,435 --> 01:08:29,679
I spoke to him,
but there was so little I could do.

591
01:08:30,481 --> 01:08:32,939
I'm sure you did what you could, sir.

592
01:09:56,067 --> 01:09:58,810
It was my parents' dream
that I become a clergyman.

593
01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:30,575
Hello there.

594
01:11:30,661 --> 01:11:34,029
Those bells rang for 20 seconds too long.

595
01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:39,289
Unfortunately,
I was busy replacing the candles.

596
01:11:39,378 --> 01:11:42,587
I usually turn on the bells,
light the candles,

597
01:11:42,673 --> 01:11:44,835
and make it back in time.

598
01:11:44,926 --> 01:11:48,260
But today I bungled it.
An unfortunate mishap.

599
01:11:49,055 --> 01:11:52,093
But those candles were tricky to light.

600
01:11:52,183 --> 01:11:54,049
Probably a factory defect.

601
01:11:54,143 --> 01:11:57,056
And I guess my broken-down body

602
01:11:57,146 --> 01:12:00,935
is slowing down my actions.

603
01:12:01,025 --> 01:12:03,312
The reason hardly matters.

604
01:12:03,402 --> 01:12:07,692
I leave the temple in semidarkness
until just before the bells start.

605
01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:11,943
I believe electric lights
disturb our spirit of reverence.

606
01:12:12,411 --> 01:12:15,154
Don't you agree, Miss Lundberg?

607
01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:21,327
You asked to have a word with me.

608
01:12:21,420 --> 01:12:25,130
Yes, about a rather urgent matter.

609
01:12:28,469 --> 01:12:33,385
Once, when I complained
about my pains keeping me up nights,

610
01:12:34,058 --> 01:12:37,972
you suggested that I read... I remember...

611
01:12:38,062 --> 01:12:40,224
to distract myself.

612
01:12:40,898 --> 01:12:43,265
I began with the gospels.

613
01:12:44,735 --> 01:12:47,853
And real sleeping potions they were, too,
if I may say so,

614
01:12:48,739 --> 01:12:52,198
at least now and then.

615
01:12:53,536 --> 01:12:57,075
Now I've got as far
as the story of Christ's passion,

616
01:12:57,164 --> 01:12:59,201
and it's given me pause.

617
01:13:00,126 --> 01:13:05,372
So I figured I'd discuss it with you,
Pastor Ericsson.

618
01:13:06,841 --> 01:13:08,628
I feel compelled to do so.

619
01:13:09,719 --> 01:13:13,178
The passion of Christ, his suffering.

620
01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:18,805
Wouldn't you say the focus
on his suffering is all wrong?

621
01:13:19,979 --> 01:13:21,470
What do you mean?

622
01:13:21,939 --> 01:13:25,353
This emphasis on physical pain.

623
01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:28,318
It couldn't have been all that bad.

624
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:31,317
It may sound presumptuous of me,

625
01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:33,319
but in my humble way,

626
01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:38,370
I've suffered as much physical pain
as Jesus.

627
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:42,583
And his torments were rather brief.

628
01:13:43,002 --> 01:13:45,745
Lasting some four hours, I gather?

629
01:13:48,841 --> 01:13:53,381
I feel he was tormented far worse
on another level.

630
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,927
Maybe I've got it all wrong.

631
01:13:59,644 --> 01:14:02,682
But just think of Gethsemane, Pastor.

632
01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:05,852
Christ's disciples fell asleep.

633
01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:11,528
They hadn't understood the meaning
of the last supper or anything.

634
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:16,358
And when the servants of the law appeared,
they ran away,

635
01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:19,365
and Peter denied him.

636
01:14:20,623 --> 01:14:24,788
Christ had known his disciples
for three years.

637
01:14:26,003 --> 01:14:28,620
They'd lived together day in and day out,

638
01:14:29,090 --> 01:14:31,833
but they never grasped what he meant.

639
01:14:34,136 --> 01:14:37,300
They abandoned him, down to the last man.

640
01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:40,057
He was left all alone.

641
01:14:42,103 --> 01:14:44,720
That must have been painful...

642
01:14:45,272 --> 01:14:48,015
to realize that no one understands...

643
01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:53,358
to be abandoned
when you need someone to rely on.

644
01:14:55,282 --> 01:14:57,695
That must be excruciatingly painful.

645
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:07,038
But the worst was yet to come.

646
01:15:09,463 --> 01:15:12,171
When Jesus was nailed to the cross

647
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:15,046
and hung there in torment,

648
01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:17,093
he cried out,

649
01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:19,671
"God, my God.

650
01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:22,678
Why hast thou forsaken me?"

651
01:15:24,020 --> 01:15:27,013
He cried out as loud as he could.

652
01:15:28,566 --> 01:15:31,855
He thought that his heavenly father
had abandoned him.

653
01:15:33,195 --> 01:15:36,404
He believed everything
he'd ever preached was a lie.

654
01:15:38,701 --> 01:15:43,617
In the moments before he died,
Christ was seized by doubt.

655
01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:49,827
Surely that must have been
his greatest hardship...

656
01:15:52,048 --> 01:15:54,256
God's silence.

657
01:15:56,469 --> 01:15:57,835
Yes.

658
01:16:09,648 --> 01:16:13,062
No service today. Not a soul turned up.

659
01:16:14,111 --> 01:16:15,693
You don't count.

660
01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:18,898
You belong, so to speak, in the sheep pen.

661
01:16:21,285 --> 01:16:22,901
So, how are you doing?

662
01:16:25,081 --> 01:16:29,826
That pastor you're running after
isn't worth much.

663
01:16:29,919 --> 01:16:31,581
Don't deny it.

664
01:16:31,670 --> 01:16:34,037
You don't think a spinster can be choosy.

665
01:16:36,342 --> 01:16:39,756
Märta, for your own sake,

666
01:16:40,346 --> 01:16:43,589
you can leave this place,
so get out as quickly as you can.

667
01:16:44,391 --> 01:16:47,930
Everything at Mittsunda and Frostnäs
is in the grip of death and decay.

668
01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:50,019
Take me, for instance.

669
01:16:52,525 --> 01:16:56,144
Remember when I used to arrange
musical soirees

670
01:16:56,237 --> 01:16:58,194
on that pile of junk upstairs?

671
01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:00,112
I gave concerts.

672
01:17:01,992 --> 01:17:04,075
And the things Tomas achieved.

673
01:17:05,079 --> 01:17:07,287
People actually attended church.

674
01:17:08,749 --> 01:17:11,787
But his wife was his undoing.

675
01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:16,125
That got your attention, didn't it?

676
01:17:18,300 --> 01:17:19,916
The little woman.

677
01:17:21,303 --> 01:17:24,671
My old galoshes knew human nature
better than Tomas did.

678
01:17:24,765 --> 01:17:27,473
He only had eyes for her.

679
01:17:28,018 --> 01:17:30,101
He was utterly smitten.

680
01:17:33,357 --> 01:17:37,192
So much for their love story.

681
01:17:39,155 --> 01:17:43,320
"God is love, and love is God.

682
01:17:44,285 --> 01:17:47,528
Love proves the existence of God.

683
01:17:47,621 --> 01:17:51,706
Love is a real force for mankind."

684
01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:55,035
You see, I know the drill.

685
01:17:55,129 --> 01:17:58,338
I've been an attentive listener
to the pastor's outpourings.

686
01:18:00,551 --> 01:18:03,214
Bye-bye, you old turtledove.

687
01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:09,341
Get out while you can.

688
01:18:23,532 --> 01:18:27,617
Hello, you tubercular old wheezer.
Don't pass your flu on to me.

689
01:18:28,537 --> 01:18:30,278
Will there be a service?

690
01:18:30,372 --> 01:18:31,829
I don't feel well.

691
01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:33,532
I can see that.

692
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:36,835
Florence Nightingale is out there,
waiting to minister to your needs.

693
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:42,045
Personally, I'd like to get some shut-eye.

694
01:18:42,635 --> 01:18:44,922
I'm playing tonight at the Masonic Lodge,
you see.

695
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:46,965
What's your opinion, Algot?

696
01:18:47,056 --> 01:18:48,137
Don't have one.

697
01:18:48,224 --> 01:18:50,181
I should have known.

698
01:18:50,684 --> 01:18:52,892
I'll go upstairs to the organ.

699
01:18:52,978 --> 01:18:55,595
Algot can give me a sign
when the bells stop ringing.

700
01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:01,230
Well?

701
01:19:03,072 --> 01:19:05,985
There's only Miss Lundberg out there.

702
01:19:06,075 --> 01:19:08,192
Guess I shouldn't say "only."

703
01:19:09,161 --> 01:19:11,244
It's time to start the service bell.

704
01:19:11,330 --> 01:19:14,073
That usually brings them in.

705
01:19:39,483 --> 01:19:41,691
If only we could feel safe...

706
01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:45,646
and dare show each other tenderness.

707
01:19:49,368 --> 01:19:52,281
If only we had some truth to believe in.

708
01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:55,622
If only we could believe.

709
01:20:12,141 --> 01:20:14,633
Shall we have the service, then?

710
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:24,704
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Hosts.

711
01:21:26,548 --> 01:21:29,757
The whole earth is full of His glory.