1 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,225 (TRAFFIC SOUNDS) 2 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:23,403 ♪ (THE SEEKERS: "GEORGY GIRL") 3 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,248 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 4 00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:35,373 ♪ Swinging down the street so fancy-free 5 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,171 ♪ Nobody you meet could ever see 6 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:41,968 ♪ The loneliness there inside you 7 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,670 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 8 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,927 ♪ Look at all the boyfriends you don't get 9 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,883 ♪ Never had a real one yet 10 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:54,268 ♪ Just look at the clothes you wear 11 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,065 ♪ You're always window shopping 12 00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:00,485 ♪ But never stopping to buy 13 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,110 ♪ Just shed those dowdy feathers 14 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:06,488 ♪ And fly a little bit 15 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,537 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 16 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,615 ♪ Give yourself a treat like most girls do 17 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,917 ♪ Get another hairstyle too 18 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:18,667 ♪ And, oh, what a change there'd be 19 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,622 ♪ The world would see 20 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:24,336 ♪ A new Georgy girl 21 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:28,218 (INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION) 22 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,579 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 23 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,624 ♪ Dreaming of the someone you could be 24 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,793 ♪ Life is a reality 25 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:01,918 ♪ You can't always run away 26 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:05,001 ♪ Don't be so scared of changing 27 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,428 ♪ And rearranging yourself 28 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,926 ♪ It's time for jumping down 29 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:14,385 ♪ From the shelf a little bit 30 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,267 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 31 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,350 ♪ Give yourself a chance and you'll succeed 32 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,651 ♪ Confidence is all you need 33 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:26,230 ♪ And, oh, what a change there'd be 34 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,649 ♪ The world would see 35 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,155 ♪ A new Georgy girl 36 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,904 ♪ A new Georgy girl 37 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,032 ♪ A new Georgy girl 38 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,951 ♪ A new Georgy girl 39 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,205 ♪ A new Georgy girl 40 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:12,614 (PIANO PLAYING) 41 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:17,035 One and two, and one and two. One and two, and one and two. 42 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,241 Everybody go round! 43 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,873 Very good! Faster! 44 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:32,672 One and two. One and two, and one and two. 45 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:36,016 One and two, and one and two. Very good. 46 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:39,307 All right, everybody around me. Come on. Quick. Quick, quick. 47 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,435 One more quickly, to finish. You're all things in space. 48 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,141 (BUBBLING ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 49 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:45,692 All right. Spin into a space. 50 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,321 And one, two, three. On the floor. Quick. 51 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,696 (MUSIC AUDIBLE FROM ABOVE) 52 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,469 (INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION) 53 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,365 She's looking better. 54 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,614 She ought to be under the doctor. 55 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,820 Let's hope that's the end of the cats' chorus. 56 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:43,284 - She don't believe in doctors. - You can't call it anything else. 57 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:44,835 Certainly not music. 58 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,625 - CHILDREN: Bye. - GEORGY: Bye. Bye! 59 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:52,134 Ah. I'll catch her before she goes back to the slums. 60 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,882 (HUMMING AND WHISTLING) 61 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:05,477 (JAZZED UP VERSION OF MENDELSSOHN'S "WEDDING MARCH") 62 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,799 - I've got a bone to pick with you. - Working, Father dear. 63 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,797 What do you think this is? 64 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,469 Hmm? 65 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,424 It's a dress. For you. A present. 66 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,054 From my other daddy? The rich one? 67 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:45,725 Oh. 68 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,517 Oh, that's gorgeous. That's the height of chic. 69 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,393 Oh, have you tried it on? 70 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,774 You'll feel the back of my hand in a minute. 71 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,788 It's to wear to his birthday party on Thursday. 72 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:07,664 The one to which you were invited. I posted the card myself. 73 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:11,209 Now, I had no education of which to speak. 74 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:15,463 I didn't get sent to a finishing school in Switzerland by my father's employer. 75 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,220 I went to an elementary school. 76 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,427 But what education I got, I got from him! 77 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:25,056 - Like knowing what RSV and P means. - I'm not coming. 78 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,270 - You'll be there. - I shan't. 79 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,561 - If I have anything to do with it. - You haven't. 80 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,855 Oh, please yourself. 81 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,979 It's up to you. Go and live in that slum instead of here. 82 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:36,775 Thanks. 83 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,779 But for his sake, you ought to try and do something about yourself. 84 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,704 You walk about looking like a bloody tramp. 85 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,032 Why don't you get your hair done? 86 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,788 I have just had it done. 87 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,577 (CAR HORN HONKING) 88 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,252 GEORGY: Run, then. 89 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,630 (GEORGY PLAYING "WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE") 90 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,089 (MUSIC SPEEDING UP) 91 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,034 I've got the tickets. 92 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,335 Tickets? 93 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,292 TED: The Cup Final tickets. 94 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:38,633 Who said anything about tickets to the Cup Final? 95 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,211 - You did, Mr James. - Oh? 96 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:45,511 You did, really. You said I should go with you. 97 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,434 Is that so? Well, well. 98 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:52,557 - They cost me two £5 notes. - Two £5 notes? 99 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:58,065 Georgy's not gone yet. I wanted to catch her. 100 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,443 (BUBBLING ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 101 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,127 The bedroom. 102 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,633 Georgy? 103 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,606 She's nipped off. 104 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:38,811 By the look of it. If I were you, Ted, I'd take her across my knee, 105 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,193 pull down her knickers and give her a good tanning. 106 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:46,118 - Oh. She's too big for that. - Yes. She always was. 107 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:50,823 She's like some enormous lorry driver. 108 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:54,368 She ought to be made to feel what she owes me. 109 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:58,376 Oh, I rub that in, don't you worry, sir. I hold the whip hand. 110 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,626 - TED (ON TAPE): I've got a bone to pick with you. - GEORGY: Working, Father dear. 111 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,427 TED: What do you think this is? 112 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,005 It's a dress for you. A present. 113 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,386 GEORGY: From my other daddy? The rich one? 114 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,595 TED: Oh, that's gorgeous. That's the height of chic. 115 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,596 - GEORGY: Oh, have you tried it on? -(UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER) 116 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,815 TED: You'll feel the back of my hand in a minute. 117 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,109 (FORCED LAUGHTER) 118 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,364 ELLEN: Oh, James, you got the things? 119 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,816 Aye. 120 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:35,368 - How are you feeling? - Horrible. 121 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,124 You know, Ellen, when you're not feeling well, 122 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,376 you ought to see a proper doctor. 123 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,298 Doctors. 124 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,130 You got the yeast compound? 125 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,801 - Yeast compound. - The Wintergreen? 126 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,054 Wintergreen. 127 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,056 Cider vinegar? 128 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,436 Well, they hadn't got the brand that you wanted. 129 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,017 Oh. 130 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,123 - GEORGY: Hello! - BOY: Georgy, Georgy, come and play with us! 131 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,125 GEORGY: Come on! 132 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,957 BOY: Ah, come on, Georgy. 133 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,344 GEORGY: Everybody up. 134 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,800 - BOY: Bye. - Bye. 135 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,152 - Hi. - Hi. 136 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,029 - Has it been raining? - No, the baths. 137 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,036 I'm training to be an Olympic swimmer. 138 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,163 This man came up to me in the street, a Scotsman... 139 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,415 Shut up, Georgy. Am I all right? 140 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,747 - Sensational. - Am I all right? 141 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:06,208 - Sensational. -(CAR HORN HONKING) 142 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,089 - Where are you going? - Out. 143 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:11,547 - But Jos. Isn't Jos coming? - Of course. 144 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,756 You can't go out! 145 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,763 Can't I? Bye. 146 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,560 Hey! 147 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:26,068 - Meredith! Take your fiddle. - For God's sake, what for? 148 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,067 You can tell Jos you're rehearsing. 149 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,696 - Why? - Well, you know. What will I tell him? 150 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,494 That I'm out. That's all. I'll be back at eight. 151 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,613 But what'll I say? What'll I do? 152 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,248 Keep him happy. 153 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,577 (CAR ENGINE STARTING) 154 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,322 (DOORBELL RINGING) 155 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,335 - You naked underneath that coat? - Stark. 156 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,417 Let's have a look, then. 157 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:34,004 - It's threepence. - Too dear, dear. 158 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:38,759 Where's that rude girl, eh? Lying lasciviously in bed? 159 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,428 Contemplating in the loo? 160 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:48,147 Aha. Lounging in the bath. 161 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,612 ♪ You look a little lovelier each da-a-ay ♪ 162 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,907 She's gone out, Jos. 163 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,781 She had to. 164 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,036 - Suddenly. - Uh-huh. 165 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,249 I bought some supper for the two of us. 166 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,584 Soggy- - I meant Meredith and me. 167 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,337 - Obviously. - Now she's out. 168 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,924 - She say any time? - Eight. Er... 7.30. 169 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,762 (SIGHING) 170 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,509 Get out the Scrabble, then. 171 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:28,187 - Hungry? - Starving. 172 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:46,868 (SNIFFING) on... 173 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,707 (JOS ADOPTS AMERICAN ACCENT) It ain't no good you bawling. 174 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:57,629 - He was a good man, mister. - I made mincemeat out of him. 175 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,589 He always loved his mince. 176 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,848 Quit stalling. I'm gonna pump you full of lead. You're a two-timing broad. 177 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:06,305 - No! Not broad! - Yes. Very long. 178 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,766 - Very long, but you're a broad too. - Hey! Are you longer than you are broad? 179 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,601 Or is your broad broader than your long? Eh? 180 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,605 How is your broader anyway, and your sister? 181 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,780 (BOTH LAUGHING) 182 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:23,454 (JAUNTY RADIO THEME TUNE) 183 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,084 RADIO ANNOUNCER: A look at our programmes later this evening. 184 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:32,505 At half past seven, You're a Brick, a brand new radio panel game 185 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,299 with the accent on the building trade. Then, at eight o'clock... 186 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:39,971 (LIGHT MUSIC ON RADIO) 187 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:58,572 GEORGY: O-C-H-R-E. Ochre. I win! 188 00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,117 I had zho. Z-H-O. 189 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,036 - What's that when it's at home? - A Himalayan ox. 190 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,705 - Truly? - Truly. 191 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,159 We had some good words: catagmatic, sostenuto. 192 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:12,120 One of the few advantages of a musical education, my dear. 193 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,500 (WHISTLING) 194 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,206 You ought to leave that bank, Jos. 195 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,713 - Go back to your proper work. - I wish I could, George. 196 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,296 But second-rate flautists are fourteen for tuppence. 197 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:24,053 (YAWNING) 198 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,342 She won't be long. 199 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,016 She make you jealous? 200 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:33,437 Not much. We've got so little in common. 201 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:37,020 She's so pretty. Cool and detached. 202 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:41,153 There's nothing messy about her. I feel like a brontosaurus when she's about. 203 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,485 - A freak survivor. - Oh, come off it. 204 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:47,163 Look, the truth is, you just missed being beautiful, George. 205 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,206 Georgina! 206 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,790 -(DOOR SLAMMING) - JOS: Oh, God. 207 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,550 (SNORING) 208 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,019 - Kept the chips warm? - Hey. Wh... what? 209 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,602 - Kept the chips warm? - George... George threw them away. 210 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,529 MEREDITH: Well, if you've got something else. 211 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,157 George, what have we...? 212 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,243 Thanks, George. You're a dear. 213 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:30,244 - You must be drunk. - I've had a few vodkas. 214 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,203 Does it show? 215 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,251 - Got you. - Oh! 216 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,329 (GIGGLING) 217 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,166 (GRUNTING) 218 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:58,360 (MOANING AND LAUGHING) 219 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,661 It's like an oven in here. I've got too much on. 220 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,787 I'm off now. 221 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:21,249 - Well, don't leave your own flat because of us, mate. - Oh, God, no. 222 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:24,427 MEREDITH: Jos, come on. 223 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,634 (TRAFFIC SOUNDS) 224 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,447 (HORN HONKING) 225 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,375 (BRAKES SQUEALING) 226 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,208 (CHARLES GOUNOD'S OPERA "FAUST") 227 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:09,674 ♪ Nobles and kings shall pay homage before me 228 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,975 ♪ Ah! Might it only be 229 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:16,520 ♪ He could my beauty see 230 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,315 ♪ Now as a royal lady 231 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,563 ♪ He would indeed adore me...♪ 232 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,404 Georgy! 233 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:31,032 Well, if it isn't Georgy Porgy, visiting the old homestead. 234 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,033 How's life in the kitchen sink, Georgy Porgy? 235 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,039 Oh, fine, Jimsy Whimsy. 236 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:41,504 - Come in, have a drink. - No, thanks. 237 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,299 Good God, girl, what have you got on? A suit of armour, is it? 238 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,172 That's right. Protects my honour. 239 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,502 (JAMES CHUCKLING) 240 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:51,840 - Take it off, for God's sake. - No, I'd rather keep it on, thank you. 241 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,847 You've got a decent figure. Nothing to be ashamed of. 242 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,019 - You want to show it off. - No, I don't. 243 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,971 Give the boys a treat. 244 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,481 Just look at that thing. 245 00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:05,437 You want to get a jersey a couple of sizes smaller. 246 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,943 See? 247 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:14,787 OPERA SINGER: ♪ Ah! The joy past compare 248 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,868 ♪ These jewels bright to wear 249 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,699 ♪ Ah! The joy past compare 250 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,826 ♪ These jewels bright to wear 251 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,579 ♪ >a' Was I ever... ♪ 252 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,209 Right. 253 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,465 - Five, ten. - You don't have to pay me. 254 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,387 It's on the house. 255 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,511 - It's for a new jumper. - I like this one. 256 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,433 Come on. 257 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,267 Say thank you to Mr James. 258 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,309 - Thank you, James. - TED: Good girl. 259 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:50,948 OPERA SINGER: ♪ If your royal lady would adore me ♪ 260 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:09,940 (SIGHING) 261 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:13,444 - I don't know. - Dust. Now this. 262 00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:19,912 (TRUMPETING) 263 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,953 - Praying mantis. - Elephant. 264 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,580 Bloody marvellous. 265 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,955 - Ah. Well, er... thank you, Miss, urn, er... - Parkin. 266 00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:32,793 Parkin, Yes. However, just at the moment, our books seem to be full of animal imitators. 267 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,001 Oh... 268 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,089 But would you be prepared to strip, my dear? 269 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,095 - Got one or two operation scars. - So much the better. 270 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,347 The customers like that, within reason, of course. 271 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:45,521 -(CHILDLIKE VOICE) I have to ask Mummy. - Leave your name and number. We'll be in touch. 272 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,315 I'll bet you will, you dirty old slob. 273 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,143 (SIGHING) 274 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,492 - We going out? - Why? 275 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,865 - Aren't you going with Jos or anyone? - No. 276 00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,076 Let's go and eat, then. 277 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,284 But at the first flicker of dust and all that nonsense, I'm leaving you. 278 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,119 Trah-la. . .! 279 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,421 (PHONE RINGING) 280 00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:12,547 (IMITATING MAN) Parkin's residence. 281 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,755 Hello? Oh, hi. 282 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:22,467 I might be. 283 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,099 (LAUGHING) 284 00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:30,566 OK, I'm not doing anything. 285 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,814 Where? 286 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,563 Then you'll have to pick me up. 287 00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:37,773 At the tube in about five minutes. 288 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,075 See you. 289 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,547 - Where are you going now? - Party. Nick's. 290 00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:01,055 For God's sake, Georgy, you don't expect me to have a meal with you 291 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,303 if I can go to a party, do you? 292 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:07,436 Look, I didn't mean it like that. If you'd been the one invited... 293 00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:11,686 - I never am. - Don't let's go into that again, Georgy. 294 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,812 OK, if you're gonna be suicidal, I'll stay. 295 00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,364 No, go. 296 00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,408 - Sure? - Sure. Have a lovely time. 297 00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,737 I'll think about you when I drink my cocoa. 298 00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:28,324 - Hello. - Bye. 299 00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:48,594 (UPBEAT JAZZ NUMBER) 300 00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:59,863 WOMAN: Happy birthday, Jamie darling. 301 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:03,784 MAN: Many happy returns of the day, old boy. Glad to see you. 302 00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:06,078 (DOORBELL CHIMING) 303 00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:10,074 Good evening. 304 00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:15,747 - What's this, then? - I decided to come. 305 00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,794 In this rig-out? 306 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:19,625 You look like a tramp. 307 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,177 Why can't you behave like a lady, just for once? 308 00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:25,598 A lady? Okay. 309 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:45,109 (MUSIC STOPS) 310 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,781 (LIGHT APPLAUSE) 311 00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:49,246 GEORGY (LOUDLY): ♪ It takes a whole lot of loving 312 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:53,747 ♪ Just to keep this baby happy ♪ 313 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:54,831 Come on, boys. 314 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,833 -(BAND JOINING IN) - ♪ It takes a whole lot of kissing 315 00:24:56,912 --> 00:25:01,668 ♪ A whole lot of holding my hand 316 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:04,257 ♪ It takes a whole lot of loving 317 00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:09,217 ♪ Just to keep this baby happy 318 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,223 ♪ 'Cause I'm a whole lot of woman 319 00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:17,524 ♪ I've gotta have a whole lot of man 320 00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:21,863 ♪ When he loves me, he gotta love me hard 321 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:25,567 ♪ Or he makes me mad 322 00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:29,370 ♪ When he kiss me, he gotta kiss me 323 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:32,160 ♪ Or he's been had 324 00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:39,334 ♪ It takes a whole lot of loving 325 00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:44,214 ♪ Just to keep this baby happy 326 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:47,216 ♪ 'Cause I'm a whole lot of woman 327 00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:52,097 ♪ I've gotta have a whole lot of man 328 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:56,097 ♪ 'Cause I'm a whole lot of woman 329 00:25:56,972 --> 00:26:03,651 ♪ And I've gotta have a whole lot of ma-a-a-a-n ♪ 330 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:12,076 (SILENCE) 331 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:17,035 (APPLAUSE INCREASING) 332 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,012 (BAND STARTS PLAYING) 333 00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:38,564 (GEORGY LAUGHING) 334 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,437 Oh, it's madly gay, darling. 335 00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:42,484 Now, Georgy, 336 00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:46,564 I want you to sit quiet and listen for a moment. 337 00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:08,043 Georg)', 338 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:11,513 I'm 49 today. 339 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,343 - ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ - Shut up. 340 00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:17,645 I'm 49. 341 00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:22,771 Notice that, not 50 yet. 342 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:27,067 When I first met your dad, I was 27 and just got married. 343 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:30,195 Your dad was unemployed, and he couldn't afford to marry your mother. 344 00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:31,696 I took him on. 345 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:35,029 She came along as housekeeper, and they got married. 346 00:27:35,571 --> 00:27:37,915 Ellen and I have never been blessed with children. 347 00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:42,669 As a result, I've tended to look upon you as my daughter. 348 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:45,874 I've always been sorry that you weren't. 349 00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:47,674 But now I'm glad. 350 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:49,801 - Because of what I did out there? - No. No. 351 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:52,630 I brought you in here to make you an offer. 352 00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:55,762 - Why, you want to adopt me. - Georgy, please. 353 00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:58,310 No, something quite different. 354 00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:01,517 I want you to be my mistress. 355 00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,474 (GLASS CLANGING) 356 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,113 JAMES: I've had it all drawn up properly. 357 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:14,110 I propose an agreement whereby either one of the contracting parties 358 00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:18,243 can opt out at any time in six months' initial period. 359 00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:24,461 I bear all the expenses and undertake the formal adoption of any children. 360 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:31,878 Here's a copy of the draft contract for your approval. 361 00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:39,931 I know it all looks pretty formal. 362 00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:44,356 Er... will we have to have any shareholders and things? 363 00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:48,060 No, I don't think that would be necessary. 364 00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:51,067 I should hate to be voted off the board. 365 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:54,608 All those annual general meetings. 366 00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:02,533 I hope they'll be more frequent than that. 367 00:29:03,408 --> 00:29:05,957 I turned up with the Maserati, and there was this... 368 00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,041 - Sorry. - WOMAN: What is it? 369 00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:13,169 MAN: Oh, nothing, dear. One of those vintage Bentleys, all wound up. 370 00:29:13,377 --> 00:29:14,594 JAMES: Do you mind? 371 00:29:21,343 --> 00:29:23,471 - Are you going to say yes or no? - Yes or no. 372 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,065 - Don't act the goat, Georgy. - Quite, quite. 373 00:29:27,140 --> 00:29:29,563 Oh, urn... just getting to the small print here. 374 00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:32,817 About the alleged condition of the property... 375 00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:37,238 -(WHISPERING) Does it have to be intact? - Well, it is, isn't it? 376 00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:40,613 - Oh, yeah. Queen of all the fairies. - Well, then... 377 00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:43,199 Are there any special conditions about my duties? 378 00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:46,122 - They're understood. - Are they? 379 00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:49,664 I haven't got to wear gymslips or suck lollipops. 380 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:52,336 Look, Georgy, if you're not prepared to discuss this thing seriously... 381 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:54,339 What about your wife? 382 00:29:54,543 --> 00:29:56,671 Well, we keep it secret, naturally. 383 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:59,381 Ellen knows I've done this before. 384 00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:01,432 Oh, I see. 385 00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:04,102 Well, it all seems quite straightforward. 386 00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:07,523 If there's no other business, I think we can wind up the meeting. 387 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:10,313 -(BAND STOPS PLAYING) -(APPLAUSE) 388 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:22,454 Oh. Crash. Powdered glass all over the carpet. 389 00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:25,449 (BAND STARTS PLAYING) 390 00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:11,036 My God. 391 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:13,163 What? 392 00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:15,545 I must be mad. 393 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:21,054 You're old enough to be my managing director. 394 00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:23,223 (KNOCKING) 395 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:25,221 (GLASSES HITTING FLOOR) 396 00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:30,435 -(KNOCKING CONTINUES) - Come in. Oh. 397 00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:35,523 Oh, pardon me, sir. 398 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:39,823 Madam said three guests have arrived, and she doesn't know them very well. 399 00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:41,900 Yes, right. 400 00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:47,619 Well, you'll let me know about that offer as soon as you can, will you? 401 00:31:49,199 --> 00:31:50,792 Oh. 402 00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:54,667 Do you want to see what James offered me? 403 00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:57,340 I never pry into anything Mr James does for you. 404 00:31:57,457 --> 00:32:00,711 I only hope that you know how to show your gratitude. 405 00:32:22,232 --> 00:32:24,234 Mi fa piacere Che siete qui. 406 00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:26,912 MAN ON RECORDING: Il piacere è il mio. 407 00:32:26,987 --> 00:32:28,534 No, è il mio! 408 00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:31,708 - Posso vederla domani? - Sì, domani. 409 00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:35,796 Hey, what about tonight? I thought you Eyeties are supposed to be fast workers. 410 00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:37,464 Andremo Al Colosseo. 411 00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:40,133 The Colosseum? But I want to be alone with you. 412 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,551 Eh, get on with it. 413 00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:42,923 - È un monumento... -(PHONE RINGING) 414 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:45,381 GEORGY (SCREAMING): Uno momento! 415 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,388 - Meredith's out. - Hell! 416 00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:52,267 - But you knew she had a concert. - I forgot. 417 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:53,939 You got company? 418 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,608 Yeah, come and meet him. 419 00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:03,073 My date. My amore. 420 00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:05,696 - You must be hard up. - I am. Hadn't you noticed? 421 00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:08,871 Twenty-two, never been kissed. Pathetic, isn't it? 422 00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:13,367 (RECORDING CONTINUES PLAYING) 423 00:33:17,871 --> 00:33:20,169 RECORDING: Allora, andiamo. 424 00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:21,504 Let's go. 425 00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:24,132 RECORDING: Sì? Splendido! 426 00:33:24,211 --> 00:33:25,633 -(DOOR CLOSING) - Splendido! 427 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:27,214 - Come on. - If you're just asking me 428 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:31,268 because you're sorry for me, then you don't have to bother. Goodnight. 429 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:35,814 I know I don't have to bother, and I'm not sorry for you, and I am asking you. So come on! 430 00:33:36,556 --> 00:33:38,354 Wait for us! Hey, come on, Georgy! 431 00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:40,185 Now, this is your big chance. Don't miss it. Oh. 432 00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,361 - GEORGY: Oh! - JOS: Oh. Beg your pardon. 433 00:34:05,377 --> 00:34:09,598 (THE MIRAGE, "I'M GONNA LEAVE HER") 434 00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:14,053 ♪ I'm gonna leave her 435 00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:16,729 ♪ I'm gonna treat her like a no-good 436 00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:18,557 ♪ I don't need her 437 00:34:19,307 --> 00:34:21,184 ♪ I don't need her 438 00:34:21,268 --> 00:34:23,771 ♪ I'm gonna leave her where I found her 439 00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:28,825 ♪ Tambourine man found her 440 00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:32,829 ♪ I don't need her 441 00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:35,699 ♪ I'm gonna leave her 442 00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:37,784 ♪ I can't stand her any more 443 00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:40,086 - ♪ I 'm gonna leave her... ♪ -(CROWD CHATTERING) 444 00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:44,003 (SONG: "MY LONELY HEART") ♪ ...in your arms 445 00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:50,423 ♪ Has told me all I need to know 446 00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:55,977 ♪ Too long apart 447 00:34:56,761 --> 00:35:02,393 ♪ But soon I knew it had to show 448 00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:09,491 ♪ I let you go 449 00:35:09,858 --> 00:35:16,412 ♪ But I was crazy from the start 450 00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:21,833 ♪ For now I'm longing for you so 451 00:35:21,995 --> 00:35:27,001 ♪ Deep in my lonely heart ♪ 452 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,885 (JOS WHISTLING) 453 00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:35,281 (CHINA CLINKING) 454 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,673 GEORGY (MUFFLED): No, don't. 455 00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:58,474 - JOS: Mmm? - GEORGY: Jos. 456 00:36:59,676 --> 00:37:01,303 Jos. 457 00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:05,352 Jos! 458 00:37:09,853 --> 00:37:13,357 - That's enough of that, George. - Why? I like it! 459 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:17,945 Why are you stopping? I know I'm not pretty like Meredith. 460 00:37:18,153 --> 00:37:19,245 (SOBBING) 461 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:23,788 Oh, God, no! You're not like Meredith. 462 00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:26,040 I couldn't go to bed with you like I do with her, 463 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:29,794 then grab a tomato sandwich, rush out and catch the 72 bus. Hey. 464 00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:36,676 With you, it would be just one long, drawn-out, bloody drama. 465 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,474 All this whining and carrying on. 466 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:45,564 You know, the trouble with you is, you could say that you're a good girl. 467 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,858 So, I'm sorry, lass. 468 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:55,903 (DOOR SLAMMING) 469 00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:10,580 MEREDITH: Goodbye, love. 470 00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,626 See you. 471 00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:21,967 (KNOCKING) 472 00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:46,291 - Have a good time? - So-so. 473 00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:50,121 Didn't lead to bed, so he can't have been up to much. 474 00:38:50,745 --> 00:38:52,338 I want to talk. 475 00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:55,258 Oh. Enough of that. 476 00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:57,085 - Oh, Jos! - Oh! Oh! 477 00:38:57,293 --> 00:38:59,762 (JOS GAGGING AND CHUCKLING) 478 00:38:59,963 --> 00:39:03,638 I'm bored. Bored living with Georgy. 479 00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:05,515 I think we ought to get married. 480 00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:08,187 We don't fight, we love it in bed, and... 481 00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:10,106 well, that's about it, really. 482 00:39:10,306 --> 00:39:12,104 You must be pregnant. 483 00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:13,935 Yes. 484 00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:23,077 Meredith, there is absolutely no point at all in us getting married 485 00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:26,531 when I know nothing about you except, well, things that I don't like. 486 00:39:26,739 --> 00:39:28,662 - You take me as me. - Who is you? 487 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,961 Oh, don't give me that rubbish. I don't ask you what you are. 488 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,003 Well, you should if we're gonna get married and have this kid. 489 00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:37,300 Right, if you're gonna make this a great big number, let's pretend I never spoke. 490 00:39:37,542 --> 00:39:39,840 - Is it the baby? - What? 491 00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:42,422 - That makes you want to marry me? - I just feel like a change. 492 00:39:42,672 --> 00:39:45,266 - I can easily get rid of it. - Ha! Just like that? 493 00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:47,681 Why not? I have no tender feelings about it. 494 00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:49,763 If that's what you wanted, you shouldn't have told me. 495 00:39:49,971 --> 00:39:51,848 MEREDITH: Don't be so stupid. 496 00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:53,975 I've destroyed two of yours already. 497 00:39:54,893 --> 00:39:58,818 What? When? Why didn't you tell me? Didn't I have a right to know? 498 00:39:59,022 --> 00:40:01,821 Weren't they my sons and my daughters? 499 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,824 (HOOTING WITH LAUGHTER) 500 00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:07,906 - You're not getting rid of this one, anyway. - If I want to. 501 00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:09,536 - I won't let you. - You can't stop me. 502 00:40:09,616 --> 00:40:13,291 - You'll marry me and you'll have it. - Fine. That's what I said at the start. 503 00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:23,263 (BOTH LAUGHING) 504 00:40:46,653 --> 00:40:49,782 (GROANING) 505 00:40:58,748 --> 00:41:01,877 - You're not. Not again. - Mmm. 506 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:12,683 Well, it's no use you asking me to lend you the money this time, because I won't. 507 00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:14,810 I don't care if it's old hat. 508 00:41:15,014 --> 00:41:18,018 I know it's just a middle-class taboo and the law needs changing 509 00:41:18,226 --> 00:41:21,070 and the population of these islands will be doubled by the year 2000. 510 00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,399 I won't do it! I'm saving up, anyway, to go to Majorca. 511 00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:27,201 Oh, shut up, Georgy. Nobody asked you to. 512 00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:29,450 I'm having this one. 513 00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:32,783 - You mean really? Having? - Jos and I are getting married. 514 00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:37,830 - No! Darling! - Oh. Georgy, please, you're drooling. 515 00:41:38,037 --> 00:41:40,881 Oh, a baby. That's marvellous. A baby, a baby! 516 00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:44,712 Don't shout. If I'm gonna feel like this every morning, I'll probably change my mind. 517 00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:48,139 Now, you must eat little and often. No, start with a biscuit before you get up. 518 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,182 Don't get out of bed in a hurry. 519 00:41:52,802 --> 00:41:55,931 Don't worry, Meredith. I'll look after you. 520 00:41:57,056 --> 00:42:00,686 I'm going to be the bridesmaid. Don't you throw that bouquet at me. 521 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:04,485 You give it to me carefully because I won't have my glasses on. I might drop it. 522 00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:06,032 No bridesmaids, darling. 523 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:09,031 No confetti, organs, vicars, Mendelssohn or Moss Bros. 524 00:42:09,235 --> 00:42:11,988 Up the registry, quick in and out, "Ta very much. Next, please." 525 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:14,198 Oh, Meredith, you must do something. 526 00:42:14,407 --> 00:42:15,954 - I'll tell you what, Georgy. - What? 527 00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:18,457 You can be best man. 528 00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:19,662 (GIGGLING) 529 00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:21,880 - What about when you're married? - What about it? 530 00:42:22,081 --> 00:42:24,004 You and Jos will be there. What about me? 531 00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:26,176 - Oh. You thinking of leaving? - Not if you don't want me to. 532 00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:27,549 I'm easy if you are. 533 00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:30,098 - You don't want me to go? - Who'd do the cooking? 534 00:42:30,298 --> 00:42:33,472 Oh, Meredith, I love you. 535 00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:38,727 Meredith's getting married! She's pregnant! 536 00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:43,402 That's nice, isn't it? Typical of the way we're going. 537 00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:47,403 I sometimes wonder to what the country's coming... to. 538 00:42:47,607 --> 00:42:51,157 Don't you go getting yourself into trouble. That's all! 539 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,159 Doris, don't speak like that. 540 00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:56,992 He'd never forgive me. 541 00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:00,207 You've got to drink your orange juice. Hasn't she, Jos? 542 00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:03,335 Yes, indeed. Otherwise, this baby of mine won't have any teeth. 543 00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:05,416 And infant false teeth can be very expensive. 544 00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:09,926 If your dialogue is this corny now, Jos Jones, God help us when we're married. 545 00:43:10,129 --> 00:43:12,882 - Oh! Meredith! - Meredith! 546 00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,014 At least you take your iron pills. 547 00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:17,220 You see, Mummy dear, the baby lives on your blood supply. 548 00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:20,932 Look, I wish you'd both belt up about this bloody baby. 549 00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:23,017 I'm off to work. 550 00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:26,396 Don't worry. The kid'll survive. You know my mother? 551 00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:29,824 - She ate nothing but chips before I was born. - Yeah, look at you now, you wreck. 552 00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:32,698 Oh, help. I'm a wreck. I am. I'm dying. 553 00:43:32,902 --> 00:43:35,121 Yes, my knees are getting weaker, and there's a flutter in me chest. 554 00:43:35,196 --> 00:43:36,573 There is, a flutter in me chest. Feel. 555 00:43:36,739 --> 00:43:38,616 Oh, Oh, come here, come here, come here. 556 00:43:38,825 --> 00:43:41,624 Yes, yes, yes, feel. Ah! 557 00:43:41,828 --> 00:43:44,206 Ooh, coo, you ain't half got nice cold hands, miss. 558 00:43:44,413 --> 00:43:46,836 Yeah, and you'll feel the wrong side of it in a minute, my lad. 559 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:48,509 You wouldn't hit me, miss. 560 00:43:49,335 --> 00:43:51,303 (EXAGGERATED GROANING) 561 00:43:51,504 --> 00:43:53,302 GEORGY: You and Meredith, you're hopeless. 562 00:43:53,506 --> 00:43:57,010 If it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna get you lot organised. 563 00:43:57,218 --> 00:43:58,936 Organised? 564 00:44:08,396 --> 00:44:11,741 And, Miss Perry, I don't want to be disturbed. 565 00:44:11,941 --> 00:44:14,444 Very good, Mr Leamington. 566 00:44:25,872 --> 00:44:29,046 Come over here. Make yourself comfortable. 567 00:44:29,750 --> 00:44:33,471 Sit down. Go on. 568 00:44:35,089 --> 00:44:38,093 - Have you come to give me your answer? - Answer? 569 00:44:38,593 --> 00:44:41,767 Oh, no. No, no. This is serious. 570 00:44:42,471 --> 00:44:45,315 Look, you know you're always saying that you'll do anything for me and all that? 571 00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:49,441 - Yes. - Well, I need a pram. 572 00:44:52,982 --> 00:44:54,984 And a cot. 573 00:44:55,735 --> 00:44:57,863 And some nappies. 574 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,409 And some blankets and a highchair and a... 575 00:45:02,617 --> 00:45:05,040 - Who is it, Georgy? - Meredith, actually. 576 00:45:05,286 --> 00:45:06,378 Meredith. 577 00:45:08,456 --> 00:45:11,175 - But she's a girl. - Yeah, I noticed that too. 578 00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,798 That's the sort that usually has babies, ain't it? 579 00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:17,386 I could wring your neck! 580 00:45:21,344 --> 00:45:22,846 I won't, though. 581 00:45:23,054 --> 00:45:26,729 Hey, you, none of that. Watch the old blood pressure. 582 00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:29,944 (MOCK MONSTER NOISE) 583 00:45:32,271 --> 00:45:36,401 Can you give me one reason why I should buy all that stuff for Meredith? 584 00:45:36,609 --> 00:45:39,158 Well, Meredith will never bother. 585 00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:41,160 I don't know. 586 00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:44,038 You've got a nerve, you have. 587 00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:48,463 - It's what keeps me going, mister. - All right. 588 00:45:48,663 --> 00:45:50,631 You're a lovely old thing, really. 589 00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:54,210 Hey! We'll go along together, shall we? How about tomorrow? 590 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,796 Oh no, we can't go tomorrow. They're getting married tomorrow. 591 00:45:57,046 --> 00:45:58,298 Oh. 592 00:46:09,892 --> 00:46:12,020 You look beautiful. 593 00:46:16,023 --> 00:46:17,991 Oh, it's ridiculous, Georgy. 594 00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:20,194 It's not. It's lovely. 595 00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:23,282 Don't cry now, or I'll bash you. 596 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:20,759 (PLANE FLYING OVERHEAD) 597 00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:07,970 On your marks, get set, go. 598 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,545 MAN: ...the solemn and binding character of the vows... 599 00:48:44,630 --> 00:48:46,553 - Got a cigarette? - You can't smoke now. 600 00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:48,384 - Oh, for God's sake. - Please. 601 00:48:48,592 --> 00:48:50,515 JOS: Shut up. You can have one when it's over. 602 00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,596 I'm not going in till I get a bloody cigarette. 603 00:48:52,805 --> 00:48:55,274 Look, if you don't behave yourself, I'll take your knickers down 604 00:48:55,349 --> 00:48:57,022 and give you such a belting you won't sit down for a week. 605 00:48:57,226 --> 00:49:00,196 - MEREDITH: You just try. - GEORGY: Please, Jos, don't argue now. 606 00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:07,236 Good morning. 607 00:49:11,907 --> 00:49:13,500 - Jones. - Ah. Yes. 608 00:49:13,701 --> 00:49:15,954 Miss Montgomery and Mr Jones. 609 00:49:16,162 --> 00:49:20,383 Jones. I never thought of that. Mrs Jones. 610 00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:23,587 - MAN: I beg your pardon? - MEREDITH: Oh, nothing. 611 00:49:44,315 --> 00:49:47,285 (LAUGHING) 612 00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:54,454 GEORGY: Give it to me. 613 00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:01,169 (THUNDERCLAP) 614 00:50:13,636 --> 00:50:16,560 (SCREAMING) 615 00:50:38,994 --> 00:50:42,214 Well, now, that's that. What next, eh? 616 00:50:42,414 --> 00:50:47,921 Oh, yes. Legally, Mrs Scarlett Meredith Jones. 617 00:50:48,128 --> 00:50:50,756 - MEREDITH: I'd forgotten about that. - Hey, leave some cake, George. 618 00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:51,966 (MEREDITH LAUGHING) 619 00:50:52,174 --> 00:50:54,097 (JOS HUMMING) 620 00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:15,239 (BOMBASTIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) 621 00:51:23,372 --> 00:51:26,125 (APPLAUSE) 622 00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:29,177 (SNIFFLING) 623 00:51:29,378 --> 00:51:33,758 WOMAN ON TELEVISION: Now, at this stage, the head is free. 624 00:51:33,966 --> 00:51:37,891 You can see the value of giving the mother an injection of ergometrine. 625 00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:42,566 Incidentally, it isn't an anaesthetic. It merely helps to contract the uterus. 626 00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:44,188 Here it comes. 627 00:51:44,393 --> 00:51:45,736 It's a boy. 628 00:51:46,020 --> 00:51:47,112 (BABY CRYING) 629 00:51:47,313 --> 00:51:51,068 WOMAN: Good lusty yells. A new life has begun. 630 00:51:59,908 --> 00:52:02,878 Now, this was a relatively straightforward birth, a natural birth 631 00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:05,752 The mother, by being awake, has had the joy of sharing 632 00:52:05,956 --> 00:52:07,708 her child's first moments. 633 00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:11,212 - Hey, hey. We were watching that. - Do anything to get on telly, some people. 634 00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:12,964 Oh, Meredith, it was marvellous. 635 00:52:13,172 --> 00:52:15,641 Funny thing is, they wouldn't have themselves taken on the lavatory. 636 00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:19,095 It's all part of this trend to make out that it's not an animal function at all 637 00:52:19,303 --> 00:52:21,101 but something frightfully spiritual. 638 00:52:21,597 --> 00:52:23,816 - It's a miracle, Meredith. - MEREDITH: Rot. 639 00:52:24,058 --> 00:52:27,358 I can have this baby quite efficiently, thank you, without going to some enormous trance, 640 00:52:27,561 --> 00:52:28,983 as if I was at Lourdes. 641 00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:34,823 - How was the concert, my dear? - Beethoven night. They're like animals. 642 00:52:35,903 --> 00:52:37,155 You ought to stop work. 643 00:52:37,404 --> 00:52:39,873 And live on what he gets at the bank? You must be joking. 644 00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:43,044 Well, there's what I get from my classes, and Spock says here: "After the third month..." 645 00:52:43,243 --> 00:52:44,995 Oh, for God's sake. 646 00:52:55,506 --> 00:53:02,014 I say, do you have the feeling that Meredith's a sort of irritating lodger? Eh? 647 00:53:02,221 --> 00:53:06,226 I mean, look at us. Here we are, sitting by the light of the silvery telly. 648 00:53:06,433 --> 00:53:08,731 We're like the old married couple. 649 00:53:10,562 --> 00:53:12,985 Hey. What do you say, fish face? 650 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:14,658 I'm talking to you. 651 00:53:14,775 --> 00:53:17,494 (ASSORTED ANIMAL NOISES) 652 00:53:17,569 --> 00:53:18,616 (JOS LAUGHING) 653 00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:21,791 Hey. Fish face. 654 00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:06,994 (INAUDIBLE) 655 00:54:07,870 --> 00:54:09,622 MEREDITH: Jos! 656 00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:11,377 Jos! 657 00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:13,960 - What, what? - There are things here. 658 00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:16,512 - Things? - Yes, things. 659 00:54:18,172 --> 00:54:20,140 Look at it all. It ruins everything. 660 00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:23,435 Surprise, surprise, surprise! 661 00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:28,353 Well, what's the matter? 662 00:54:29,391 --> 00:54:31,018 Meredith, it's for the baby. 663 00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:32,815 I didn't think it was for the prime minister. 664 00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:34,567 (TOY SQUEAKING) 665 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:38,776 - Where'd you get the money, George? - James. I went to him... 666 00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:41,032 James? You went to another man? That dirty old man? 667 00:54:41,236 --> 00:54:43,739 What do you mean another man? I'm not your wife, Jos. 668 00:54:43,947 --> 00:54:45,073 Hey! 669 00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:50,962 (TOY SQUEAKING) 670 00:54:51,038 --> 00:54:56,044 (PIANO PLAYING JAZZED-UP "WEDDING MARCH") 671 00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:01,682 How do you do? Come on. 672 00:55:11,183 --> 00:55:14,027 (GEORGY LAUGHING AND SCREAMING) 673 00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:21,573 - GEORGY: Bye-bye. Bye-bye! - CHILDREN: Bye. 674 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:27,078 There you are. Off you go. 675 00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:28,955 I've got you. 676 00:55:29,159 --> 00:55:30,581 Can't stop. In a hurry. 677 00:55:30,786 --> 00:55:34,290 - You always are these days. - Yes. Sorry. 678 00:55:36,583 --> 00:55:38,176 Hey, don't mess about, mister. 679 00:55:38,377 --> 00:55:41,802 I haven't seen you for months. Can't you spare me two minutes? 680 00:55:43,924 --> 00:55:45,517 How's the pregnancy going? 681 00:55:45,717 --> 00:55:47,765 Oh, lumping along. 682 00:55:47,970 --> 00:55:49,597 - Still at the flat? - That's right. 683 00:55:49,805 --> 00:55:51,648 - The three of you? - Four, soon. 684 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:54,773 That's not very fair on you, with a wife, the husband too. 685 00:55:54,977 --> 00:55:58,356 - We share. - You share? Share what? Him? 686 00:55:58,564 --> 00:56:00,407 The flat. 687 00:56:00,607 --> 00:56:02,860 Well, it all seems very offbeat, if you ask me. 688 00:56:02,943 --> 00:56:04,570 Oh, it is. It's dead kinky. 689 00:56:04,653 --> 00:56:08,829 We all dress up as Boy Scouts and beat each other with our woggles. 690 00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:14,963 Get them out of the flat. I'll pay your rent. 691 00:56:15,163 --> 00:56:16,836 - Can't be done. - Why not? 692 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,758 The baby. 693 00:56:18,959 --> 00:56:21,053 Look, I haven't had my answer yet. 694 00:56:21,253 --> 00:56:22,846 - Hey. - Forgot my hat. 695 00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:26,971 - Come on. Bye-bye. - Here. Hey. 696 00:56:32,222 --> 00:56:34,566 TED: You know, I won 15 and 6 myself on that race, sir. 697 00:56:34,766 --> 00:56:37,861 - What a winner that horse was. - And it won't be the last time. 698 00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:40,689 I bet it won't. The wife's laid out a buffet supper in the dining room. 699 00:56:40,772 --> 00:56:43,070 - Get us a bottle of something, Ted. - Right you are, sir. 700 00:56:43,275 --> 00:56:46,654 - The Nuits-Saint-Georges, perhaps. - That sounds good enough for me, sir. 701 00:56:46,862 --> 00:56:49,331 Doris, Mrs Leamington isn't joining me for supper, is she? 702 00:56:49,531 --> 00:56:50,999 - No, sir. - Right. 703 00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:53,668 Then you'll sit down with me, won't you, Ted? 704 00:56:53,869 --> 00:56:56,418 Oh. Thank you very much, sir. 705 00:56:56,622 --> 00:56:59,296 Now, that is the end of a perfect day. 706 00:56:59,499 --> 00:57:01,217 Mr James' horse won. 707 00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:03,341 Mrs Leamington's gone. 708 00:57:03,545 --> 00:57:05,968 - Gone? - Gone. 709 00:57:06,173 --> 00:57:07,846 Gone where? 710 00:57:08,592 --> 00:57:09,639 She's dead. 711 00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:17,977 Doris, what a thing to say. 712 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:21,359 Well, what am I expected to say, then? 713 00:57:22,189 --> 00:57:24,066 Wait a minute. 714 00:57:25,776 --> 00:57:27,244 Leave it to me, sir. 715 00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:41,258 Doris, what a way in which to speak. What happened? 716 00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:44,382 Well, I heard this thundering great crash upstairs, 717 00:57:44,586 --> 00:57:47,556 and thinking it was that damned cat, up I went. 718 00:57:47,756 --> 00:57:50,259 If I've shooed that cat out once, I've shooed him out... 719 00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:51,889 Get on with it. 720 00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:55,598 Well, there she was, lying beside the bed... Mrs Leamington, this is. 721 00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:59,185 With one of her medical books on the floor where she'd dropped it. 722 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:02,738 - All blue, her face was... - Doris, don't go into it. 723 00:58:02,938 --> 00:58:04,485 - Did you fetch the doctor? - Yes. 724 00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:08,285 He said she was dead straight away. I helped him to lift her onto the bed. 725 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:10,487 Oh, she does look awful. 726 00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:12,121 (KNOCKING) 727 00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:13,790 Come in. 728 00:58:13,991 --> 00:58:17,245 My apologies for that, sir. Doris is not herself. 729 00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:21,711 Your wife is at peace, Mr James. It was a quick and merciful release. 730 00:58:24,251 --> 00:58:28,256 - I don't suppose she knew what hit her. - Something hit her? 731 00:58:28,630 --> 00:58:32,931 - Pardon? - Oh, I... I see. 732 00:58:35,053 --> 00:58:38,683 - What do we do? - I'll take care of everything, Mr James. 733 00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:42,611 You're... you're too overcome with grief and shock. 734 00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:44,813 Yes, that's right. 735 00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:49,739 No doubt you'd like to pay your last respects? 736 01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:31,883 It was nice of you to come, Georgy. 737 01:00:32,087 --> 01:00:34,966 Oh, I don't mind funerals. 738 01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:47,068 JOS: Oh. That's lovely, Georgy. Yes. 739 01:00:49,354 --> 01:00:50,355 Look, feet. 740 01:00:50,564 --> 01:00:53,033 - What's this, the Chamber of Horrors? - Hi. 741 01:00:53,108 --> 01:00:54,860 They're the most marvellous pictures. 742 01:00:55,068 --> 01:00:58,197 Look, will you two leave me alone! 743 01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:01,162 They'll help you understand the fetal development, Meredith. 744 01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:04,210 I don't want to understand. I don't want to know anything about it. 745 01:01:04,411 --> 01:01:06,084 You know, she won't even recognise labour when it starts. 746 01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:09,212 Ha ha ha. Won't I just. 747 01:01:09,416 --> 01:01:11,635 - Now, come on, Mummy. - Shut up! 748 01:01:19,384 --> 01:01:21,762 I'll tell you what this little episode's taught me. 749 01:01:22,137 --> 01:01:25,107 It's taught me what it feels like to look like the back end of a bus 750 01:01:25,307 --> 01:01:27,856 and sit around every night with nothing to do. 751 01:01:29,603 --> 01:01:30,900 You bitch. 752 01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:35,029 We're not crying, are we? 753 01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:38,241 Oh, here we go again. Just like my mother. 754 01:01:38,445 --> 01:01:41,824 She always used to cry when the announcer On the radio said "good night." 755 01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:44,542 Lucky for you you're pregnant, otherwise I might smack your face. 756 01:01:44,743 --> 01:01:46,495 You think you're one of the world's beauties. 757 01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,751 At least I'm not one of its freaks. 758 01:01:49,581 --> 01:01:52,130 - I think I'll smack it anyway! - GEORGY: No, she's right, Jos. 759 01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:54,628 I am like the back of a bus, and my face is too fat. 760 01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:57,555 - My hair's like grass. I'm just a mess. - Oh, shut up. You're not. 761 01:01:57,756 --> 01:01:59,679 - Look, she's just jealous of you. - Jealous? 762 01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:01,009 Look at the size of me! 763 01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:02,556 - Jealous! - Jealous? Never! 764 01:02:02,636 --> 01:02:06,607 - GEORGY: Stop it! Stop it! - JOS: You're bloody jealous! 765 01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:09,480 - Why the hell did I marry you? - Oh, Jos, please go away. 766 01:02:09,684 --> 01:02:12,403 Why did you marry me? 767 01:02:20,195 --> 01:02:22,038 Thunderous chords on the piano. 768 01:02:22,239 --> 01:02:24,867 Scream of train going into tunnel. 769 01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:27,578 Don't pass out, dear. 770 01:02:51,434 --> 01:02:53,357 I love you! 771 01:02:54,062 --> 01:02:56,281 I love you! 772 01:03:06,449 --> 01:03:08,872 I love you, damn you! 773 01:03:13,206 --> 01:03:15,504 I love you! 774 01:03:22,757 --> 01:03:24,976 Love you! 775 01:03:33,768 --> 01:03:35,816 I love you! 776 01:03:37,522 --> 01:03:39,320 - I love you! - Shut up! 777 01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:41,743 Listen, come back to the flat, because I wanna talk to you. 778 01:03:41,943 --> 01:03:46,039 - I don't want to listen! - Well, sorry, love, but I love you! 779 01:03:49,075 --> 01:03:52,670 JAMES: She was a beautiful woman. 780 01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,919 -(DRINK BEING POURED) - Beautiful, 781 01:03:55,332 --> 01:03:57,426 tolerant, 782 01:03:57,959 --> 01:04:00,303 civilised. 783 01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:05,016 And about as exciting as a half-brick. 784 01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:08,599 I'd always hoped, when Georgy was a little girl, 785 01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:11,181 that you'd have a son and, 786 01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:15,360 Oh, I don't know, maybe they'd get married. 787 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:21,033 I suppose that sounds silly to you, the idea of anyone wanting Georgy. 788 01:04:24,069 --> 01:04:25,821 No. 789 01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:28,907 I never see her these days. 790 01:04:29,115 --> 01:04:32,665 Doesn't it worry you sometimes, the dangers she runs? 791 01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:34,587 - Dangers? - The people she mixes with. 792 01:04:34,788 --> 01:04:37,883 - She's not much more than a child. - She's as tough as old boots. 793 01:04:38,083 --> 01:04:41,212 Do you know, when she was eight, she could crack a walnut in her fist. 794 01:04:41,419 --> 01:04:44,639 Well, she's a girl, she's immature. 795 01:04:44,839 --> 01:04:48,013 Now, who'd want to try it on with old Georgy? 796 01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:50,937 I mean, look at her. 797 01:04:51,137 --> 01:04:55,688 (LAUGHING) 798 01:05:04,692 --> 01:05:07,320 JOS: I love you! 799 01:05:09,197 --> 01:05:10,665 I love you! 800 01:05:10,865 --> 01:05:12,993 I love her. I love her. I love her. 801 01:05:13,201 --> 01:05:16,125 I do. What can I do? I love her. I do. 802 01:05:16,329 --> 01:05:17,672 What can I do? Scrubbydodoo! 803 01:05:17,872 --> 01:05:20,466 Hey, listen, missus, I'm not kidding. I love you. I love you! 804 01:05:20,667 --> 01:05:23,136 Listen, I'm not kidding. I'm a desperate man. Missus! 805 01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:25,839 I'll stop at nothing. 806 01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:30,765 I'm gonna strip stark naked if you don't come home with me right now. 807 01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:33,643 You don't believe me, do you? Hey, she doesn't believe me! 808 01:05:33,847 --> 01:05:35,941 (JOS LAUGHING) 809 01:05:36,141 --> 01:05:37,814 JOS: Hey! 810 01:05:38,810 --> 01:05:40,858 Hey, watch this. The fastest untying of a tie 811 01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:43,531 since the first Roman tied a bit of cloth around his neck. 812 01:05:43,731 --> 01:05:46,200 What did you say? The Romans didn't invent ties? 813 01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:47,744 Oh, well, I'm weak on history. 814 01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:49,912 You're not scared yet, are you, darling? 815 01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:52,582 Well, watch this. Look, lovely pair of shoes here. Socks as well. 816 01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:55,122 How about that, eh? 817 01:05:58,204 --> 01:05:59,376 (LAUGHING) 818 01:05:59,581 --> 01:06:00,582 Hey! 819 01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:03,043 Only me pants left, honey, and here they go now. 820 01:06:03,251 --> 01:06:05,549 Wait for the countdown. Five, four, three, two, one... 821 01:06:05,753 --> 01:06:07,255 - Jos. Please. Jos. - What? Do you give in? 822 01:06:07,338 --> 01:06:09,432 Or do you want the Chinese water torture thrown in as well, eh? 823 01:06:09,549 --> 01:06:12,894 - Put your clothes on. - Then you'll come home? Eh? 824 01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:16,098 Hurry up, my nipples are freezing. 825 01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:42,544 JOS: I love you. 826 01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:45,798 I never said that to her or to anyone. 827 01:06:47,295 --> 01:06:49,889 I've grown to love you in the right way. 828 01:06:50,089 --> 01:06:53,935 So, that's all right, isn't it? 829 01:07:17,242 --> 01:07:19,415 -Jos? -Hmm? 830 01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:26,467 - Jos, I love you. I love you. - I know. 831 01:07:27,377 --> 01:07:30,301 - It's because I do. It's bee... - Look, don't go on, missus. 832 01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:31,882 It'll be all right. 833 01:07:32,090 --> 01:07:34,138 - Will it? Will it? - Shh. 834 01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:39,230 We'll live happily ever after. 835 01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:41,982 (DOORBELL RINGING) 836 01:07:42,183 --> 01:07:44,356 WOMAN:
Jos! Jos! 837 01:07:44,561 --> 01:07:45,562 (KNOCKING) 838 01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:47,022 Jos! 839 01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:49,566 - JOS: What is it? - WOMAN: It's Peg. 840 01:07:49,816 --> 01:07:51,910 JOS: Eh? Peg? Oh, that's short for Margaret, isn't it? 841 01:07:52,110 --> 01:07:54,829 Yes. Well, look, I can't invite you in, you see, I've just got out of bed. 842 01:07:55,029 --> 01:07:57,248 Oh, Jos! Don't you want to know about Meredith? 843 01:07:57,323 --> 01:07:59,166 What? She's asleep. 844 01:07:59,367 --> 01:08:01,040 Is she? 845 01:08:01,244 --> 01:08:02,996 I've just come back from the hospital. 846 01:08:03,204 --> 01:08:05,127 She's started her pains. 847 01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:09,836 - Oh. - What's going on? 848 01:08:10,044 --> 01:08:12,923 - Why weren't you here? - Look, I'll write you a letter, dear. 849 01:08:14,215 --> 01:08:17,435 - PEG: Are you alone? - Look, belt up, Peg. ls there anything else? 850 01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:21,515 No. The nurses said I couldn't be much help, and you've to ring at eight. 851 01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:22,895 There we are, then. Ring at eight. 852 01:08:22,974 --> 01:08:25,272 - Good night, dear. - Jos, we're going to the hospital. 853 01:08:25,476 --> 01:08:27,444 Yeah, but look, Peg says we don't have to go till tomorrow. 854 01:08:27,645 --> 01:08:30,194 She's having your baby! Yours! 855 01:08:30,815 --> 01:08:33,819 (GASPING) 856 01:08:40,450 --> 01:08:45,707 Naughty. We don't need the gas and air till we get much stronger contractions. 857 01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:48,792 - Have you ever had a baby? - No, but I've brought in hundreds. 858 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,968 Then belt up and leave me alone with this thing. 859 01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:53,467 You speak to me like that, I shall take it away altogether. 860 01:08:55,298 --> 01:08:56,595 There's a visitor for you. 861 01:08:58,343 --> 01:09:00,220 All right, dear. 862 01:09:12,732 --> 01:09:15,952 That's right. Try to get some bye-byes. 863 01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:17,904 I'll bring you a couple of aspirin. 864 01:09:18,738 --> 01:09:22,117 It's like burning, and she says aspirin. 865 01:09:22,325 --> 01:09:24,327 Oh, Meredith. 866 01:09:24,535 --> 01:09:26,412 Spiritual experience. 867 01:09:26,621 --> 01:09:28,498 (HOLLOW LAUGHTER) 868 01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:30,629 Ow. 869 01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:36,715 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 870 01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:40,597 (EXAGGERATED GROANING) 871 01:09:40,718 --> 01:09:42,186 (WEAKLY) Help. Help. 872 01:09:43,388 --> 01:09:44,856 Thank you, my dear. 873 01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:48,902 What is your name and your telephone number? 874 01:09:49,102 --> 01:09:51,901 Thank you. Goodbye. Goodbye. 875 01:10:03,574 --> 01:10:04,575 MEREDITH: Georgy. 876 01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:08,838 (SOBBING) 877 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:39,361 (YAWNING) 878 01:10:41,738 --> 01:10:43,740 (SNIFFING) 879 01:10:45,158 --> 01:10:47,377 (GROANING) 880 01:10:50,455 --> 01:10:52,583 - Hey, what time is it? - Half past eight. 881 01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:54,713 Oh, I'd better ring. 882 01:10:55,418 --> 01:11:01,096 A girl. Seven pounds, two ounces. Born at six thirty. Both doing well. 883 01:11:01,466 --> 01:11:03,309 Oh, you rang. That's what they said? 884 01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:09,561 Seven pounds, two ounces. 885 01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:12,485 Hey, that's not bad for someone her size. 886 01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:14,358 A girl. 887 01:11:14,896 --> 01:11:18,742 Hey, that's better, in a way. A boy needs more from a father. 888 01:11:19,609 --> 01:11:21,737 What name did we choose for it if it's a girl? 889 01:11:21,944 --> 01:11:23,366 Sara, without an H. 890 01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:26,700 Sara, Sara, Sara, Sara, Sara. 891 01:11:27,325 --> 01:11:30,499 Sara? Eh? Sara. 892 01:11:30,703 --> 01:11:34,298 Sounds like some international combine or club or something. 893 01:11:34,499 --> 01:11:38,879 Society for the Admiration of, er... Risky Anecdotes. 894 01:11:41,547 --> 01:11:43,845 Well, shall we drink to babby's health? Eh? 895 01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:46,769 Hey, throw me in a piece of fried bread, would you? 896 01:11:49,722 --> 01:11:51,440 Sara. 897 01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:53,942 - Long life and happiness. - Yes. 898 01:11:54,143 --> 01:11:56,862 Good luck, mate. You'll need it, with her for a mother. 899 01:11:57,063 --> 01:11:59,862 Amazing things happen to women when they have children. 900 01:11:59,941 --> 01:12:02,945 The most unexpected people suddenly turn out natural mothers. 901 01:12:03,027 --> 01:12:05,075 I don't know why she didn't get rid of it like the others. 902 01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:07,745 - She went through hell to have it. - She deserved to. 903 01:12:07,949 --> 01:12:09,371 No-one deserves to. 904 01:12:09,575 --> 01:12:11,248 She was in agony, and she needed us. 905 01:12:11,452 --> 01:12:13,546 We were in there, rolling about on the floor. 906 01:12:13,746 --> 01:12:15,669 Well, we didn't know. 907 01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:18,008 Give me another. 908 01:12:19,627 --> 01:12:21,379 Bad luck, your first time. 909 01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:23,430 It's the absolute story of my life. 910 01:12:23,631 --> 01:12:26,009 No matter what I try, 911 01:12:26,884 --> 01:12:29,387 God's always got a custard pie up his sleeve. 912 01:12:29,595 --> 01:12:33,065 Very good, Miss Parkin. I'm afraid most of the pathetic clowns are cast this season. 913 01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:36,065 - Oh, give it a rest, Jos. - Hey. 914 01:12:36,269 --> 01:12:38,522 Are you interested in small parts, hey? 915 01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:40,402 I know most girls aren't these days, 916 01:12:40,481 --> 01:12:43,906 but, you know, you seem to have had such bad luck in this direction. 917 01:12:45,903 --> 01:12:47,701 I love you. 918 01:12:48,614 --> 01:12:50,787 I love you. 919 01:13:00,668 --> 01:13:01,965 (GARGLING) 920 01:13:02,169 --> 01:13:04,422 God, isn't it marvellous without her? 921 01:13:04,630 --> 01:13:07,133 - Don't say that. - Oh, sorry. 922 01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:08,934 Say the first thing that comes into your head. 923 01:13:09,135 --> 01:13:10,478 Yes, it is. Oh. 924 01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:15,274 Time I got dressed. 925 01:13:16,601 --> 01:13:18,274 Oh, blimey. 926 01:13:18,477 --> 01:13:21,071 Hey, do you think you could make the bedroom? 927 01:13:21,272 --> 01:13:24,071 - No. - Well, I'll try. 928 01:13:34,368 --> 01:13:37,087 - Here we are. That's the wrong room. - Put me down. 929 01:13:37,288 --> 01:13:38,414 - JOS: What? - GEORGY: Oh. 930 01:13:38,623 --> 01:13:41,797 - Oh! Oh! - Oh, Jos, please put me down. 931 01:13:42,001 --> 01:13:45,631 Jos, please put me down. Jos, please. Would you please...? 932 01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:12,119 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 933 01:14:25,503 --> 01:14:28,347 - MAN: How long? - Doctor said eight weeks. 934 01:14:31,926 --> 01:14:35,055 - Hi. - Where have you been? 935 01:14:52,363 --> 01:14:53,910 How are you feeling? 936 01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:55,833 Lousy. 937 01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:04,045 Well? Aren't you going to look at it? 938 01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:08,551 This is your marvellous child you couldn't bear being destroyed, remember? 939 01:15:12,091 --> 01:15:14,594 It's hideous. I hate it. 940 01:15:15,970 --> 01:15:18,223 It gave me hell. 941 01:15:20,599 --> 01:15:22,943 All new babies look like that. 942 01:15:23,144 --> 01:15:25,647 - You'll like it when it's a bit older. - Oh, no. 943 01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:27,653 I want it adopted. Now. 944 01:15:42,413 --> 01:15:45,292 I've got a rotten headache. Have you got any aspirin or dope or anything? 945 01:15:45,499 --> 01:15:47,843 Not that I couldn't use myself. 946 01:15:48,586 --> 01:15:50,634 How do you set about adoption anyway? 947 01:15:50,838 --> 01:15:54,468 If I ask the nurses here, they'll plague me with sermons. 948 01:15:58,804 --> 01:16:00,477 You're a bitch. 949 01:16:00,681 --> 01:16:02,149 You're a bastard. 950 01:16:14,445 --> 01:16:15,992 How is she? 951 01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:17,870 Fine. 952 01:16:18,074 --> 01:16:21,920 - Wanna go up and see her? - Oh no, can't. 953 01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:23,871 Well, come on, then. 954 01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:27,675 - Is she proud of the baby? - Yes, yes. 955 01:16:27,875 --> 01:16:30,378 - Keeps drooling over it all the time. - I told you so. 956 01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:33,135 JOS: It's a bit strange, really, because she's dead ugly. 957 01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:34,386 Sara? 958 01:16:34,465 --> 01:16:37,560 JOS: Mmm. She's got cauliflower ear, a terrible squint. 959 01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:40,513 - GEORGY: That poor baby. - Horrible wig-join. You can see it 960 01:16:40,638 --> 01:16:42,390 -from one end of the ward to the other. - Jos! 961 01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:45,351 - Hey, look. - That's not funny! 962 01:16:45,559 --> 01:16:46,731 JOS: Catch me! 963 01:17:04,328 --> 01:17:08,049 (BABY CRYING) 964 01:17:29,728 --> 01:17:31,776 That's why adoption is so tricky to arrange. 965 01:17:31,981 --> 01:17:34,575 You can't be sure the mother knows her own mind. 966 01:17:34,775 --> 01:17:36,743 Oh, don't worry. You can be sure in this case. 967 01:17:36,819 --> 01:17:38,742 In fact, I think it's probably the only way. 968 01:17:38,946 --> 01:17:42,200 - You see, the home situation is a bit offbeat. - Offbeat? How do you mean? 969 01:17:42,283 --> 01:17:43,284 (KNOCKING) 970 01:17:43,492 --> 01:17:44,869 Excuse me. 971 01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:48,714 - Sister, shall I take her to the nursery? - Oh, no. Just hold on a minute. 972 01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:52,168 - I was discussing her with Mr Jones... - Hey, George. 973 01:17:55,671 --> 01:17:58,015 Jos. How are you? 974 01:17:58,215 --> 01:18:01,264 Congratulations! - I thought you said you weren't coming. 975 01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:02,932 (WHISPERING) I've changed my mind. 976 01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:04,730 I'm so thrilled about the baby. 977 01:18:04,930 --> 01:18:06,807 Oh, are you visiting Mrs Jones? 978 01:18:07,057 --> 01:18:09,776 Yes. I'm her sister, Georgina Jones. I've been out of the country. 979 01:18:09,852 --> 01:18:10,978 I couldn't get in sooner. 980 01:18:11,228 --> 01:18:13,731 Surely Jones is her married name. 981 01:18:14,356 --> 01:18:15,608 Yes. 982 01:18:15,816 --> 01:18:19,571 Well, I mean her sister-in-law. I'm Jos' sister. 983 01:18:19,778 --> 01:18:21,325 That's my baby. 984 01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,703 - GEORGY: Can I hold her? - JOS: Sure. 985 01:18:23,908 --> 01:18:26,752 Have a hold. Be my guest. 986 01:18:37,254 --> 01:18:39,052 Jos. 987 01:18:40,090 --> 01:18:41,808 Oh, Jos. 988 01:18:44,470 --> 01:18:46,472 GEORGY: Meredith, you're looking marvellous. 989 01:18:47,556 --> 01:18:49,433 Where have you been? 990 01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:51,860 - GEORGY: I've just seen her. - MEREDITH: Who? 991 01:18:52,102 --> 01:18:54,321 - Sara. - Oh, that. 992 01:18:54,521 --> 01:18:57,149 Honestly, she's going to be a real knockout, just like her mother. 993 01:18:57,358 --> 01:19:00,077 Look, Georgy, please, none of the hearts-and-flowers mother-love bit. 994 01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:02,788 No, honestly, she's beautiful. She's just like you. 995 01:19:02,863 --> 01:19:05,491 - Oh, shut up, Georgy, will you? - Oh, come on, Meredith. 996 01:19:05,616 --> 01:19:09,416 - You're just feeling down in the dumps. - Don't you tell me what I'm feeling. 997 01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:13,632 As far as I'm concerned, when I leave this hospital, I leave alone. 998 01:19:13,832 --> 01:19:16,802 - All very sad and that, but... - GEORGY: Don't talk like that, Meredith. 999 01:19:17,044 --> 01:19:19,968 I'm not having my life cluttered up with some screeching baby. 1000 01:19:20,089 --> 01:19:21,887 The flat's all ready, and I'm leaving. 1001 01:19:22,091 --> 01:19:25,265 It wouldn't be fair to have me hanging around the three of you. 1002 01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:28,393 - What have you been telling her? - What? 1003 01:19:29,431 --> 01:19:31,934 Well, whatever it is, just get this straight, Georgy: 1004 01:19:32,017 --> 01:19:34,816 I'm having this baby adopted, and that's that. 1005 01:19:41,026 --> 01:19:44,280 You're not. You're not going to give Sara away. 1006 01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,741 Not now you've seen her and touched her. 1007 01:19:46,949 --> 01:19:48,576 I don't touch her. I leave it to this crew. 1008 01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:50,536 Now, just a minute, young lady. 1009 01:19:50,786 --> 01:19:53,209 - You stay out of it, you old bag. - You can't. 1010 01:19:53,414 --> 01:19:56,213 How can you not want to hold her and take care of her? 1011 01:19:56,417 --> 01:19:58,090 God, the embarrassment. 1012 01:19:58,294 --> 01:20:01,264 OK. If you're so keen on this bloody thing, then you have it. 1013 01:20:01,380 --> 01:20:02,757 Free, gratis and for nothing. 1014 01:20:02,881 --> 01:20:05,009 With none of the attendant pain or discomfort. 1015 01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:08,763 -Instant families! - Yes, all right. I will. 1016 01:20:08,971 --> 01:20:10,348 Of course I will. 1017 01:20:10,556 --> 01:20:13,105 I wouldn't wish a mother like you on her! 1018 01:20:13,350 --> 01:20:15,853 You're a cow, Meredith! 1019 01:20:16,395 --> 01:20:20,571 It's all right, everybody. Keep calm. Nothing whatever to do with you. 1020 01:20:20,774 --> 01:20:22,367 Yes. 1021 01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:24,324 Well. 1022 01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:38,629 - Get rid of all this junk, Ted. - Yes. 1023 01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:40,757 Dispose of all the sad reminders, sir. 1024 01:20:40,961 --> 01:20:43,965 Of course, of course. 1025 01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:48,097 - Come on, Jos. - JOS: I'm coming. 1026 01:20:48,218 --> 01:20:51,347 Come on, quick. Come on. 1027 01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:54,058 - I'm not used to this. - You're holding her all wrong. 1028 01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:55,768 What do you mean? 1029 01:20:57,227 --> 01:20:59,650 Ooh, that's better. Now, you make the tea. 1030 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:03,735 Oh, baby. Oh, baby. 1031 01:21:15,454 --> 01:21:16,580 MAN: Darling. 1032 01:21:16,789 --> 01:21:18,166 (HORN HONKING) 1033 01:21:39,603 --> 01:21:42,482 They can start reading at 18 months if the letters are big enough. 1034 01:21:42,606 --> 01:21:43,983 Ooh, she'll start before that. 1035 01:21:44,191 --> 01:21:46,068 - JOS: Bank sensation! - You're late. 1036 01:21:46,318 --> 01:21:49,197 The books were out fivepence. It was every man for himself. 1037 01:21:49,446 --> 01:21:51,995 You two trying to lose weight? It's like a pressure cooker. 1038 01:21:52,241 --> 01:21:55,120 The nappies have got to be done somewhere. We don't want nappy rash, do we? 1039 01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:56,795 No, we don't. 1040 01:21:56,995 --> 01:21:58,588 - How's the basket? I'm getting on. 1041 01:21:58,831 --> 01:22:00,253 I meant this one. 1042 01:22:00,541 --> 01:22:03,135 Goochy. Goochy. Goochy. 1043 01:22:03,460 --> 01:22:05,588 So much for fatherhood. 1044 01:22:06,255 --> 01:22:08,678 What's this one for, eh? Catching heads? 1045 01:22:08,882 --> 01:22:10,759 - Oh, Jos. - Did you get paid? 1046 01:22:10,968 --> 01:22:13,687 Wealth, wealth, wealth, beyond the dreams of avarice. 1047 01:22:13,887 --> 01:22:15,264 Hey, let's go the pictures, Georgy. 1048 01:22:15,472 --> 01:22:17,600 Oh, we can't, Jos, because we can't leave Sara. 1049 01:22:17,808 --> 01:22:19,481 Peg will look after her, won't you, my old beauty? 1050 01:22:19,726 --> 01:22:22,024 - GEORGY: No, she can't, Jos. - Sorry, my pottery class. 1051 01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:26,238 Damn. 1052 01:22:26,442 --> 01:22:29,366 - Well, you go by yourself. - Oh, that's fun. 1053 01:22:29,570 --> 01:22:32,244 Well, I've got masses to do. I don't mind, honestly. 1054 01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:33,825 Are you sure? 1055 01:22:34,032 --> 01:22:37,878 - Absolutely. - Whoopee. 1056 01:22:39,538 --> 01:22:42,212 I'll have to get me skates on. 1057 01:22:42,291 --> 01:22:43,838 (DOOR SLAMMING) 1058 01:22:49,089 --> 01:22:50,966 JAMES: Do you get it? 1059 01:22:51,175 --> 01:22:53,894 - Yes. Yes, I see. - Do you really? 1060 01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:58,270 What I mean is lace, soft and white, like... 1061 01:22:58,474 --> 01:23:02,149 Like lace. You know, lots of... 1062 01:23:02,352 --> 01:23:03,604 Lace. 1063 01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,940 Right. All over. 1064 01:23:06,148 --> 01:23:10,324 All over. Yes, well, if you're quite sure. 1065 01:23:10,527 --> 01:23:13,121 Tony, the flock material. 1066 01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:16,913 What do you think? 1067 01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:18,710 Aye, that's the stuff. 1068 01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,834 You see how it drapes? 1069 01:23:24,249 --> 01:23:28,880 It's gonna be like some Bessarabian brothel up there. 1070 01:23:29,087 --> 01:23:34,184 - Her room? - That bed, it's all lace and cupids. 1071 01:23:34,384 --> 01:23:36,261 Is he gonna get some fancy woman in? 1072 01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:39,019 A couple of Nancy boys dancing about there. 1073 01:23:39,223 --> 01:23:40,941 Oh, God. 1074 01:23:41,934 --> 01:23:44,562 He is going to get a fancy woman in. 1075 01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:51,238 Bye. 1076 01:23:55,447 --> 01:23:57,620 Hey, Georgy. 1077 01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:02,083 Come to make an honest woman of me? 1078 01:24:02,287 --> 01:24:04,790 - Something like that. - Well, that's not good enough. 1079 01:24:04,998 --> 01:24:08,047 I told you those pills wouldn't work, mister! 1080 01:24:10,003 --> 01:24:12,097 - Well. - JAMES: Georgy! 1081 01:24:16,260 --> 01:24:19,389 Good God, Georgy, you're not gonna take that thing up all those stairs, are you? 1082 01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:23,351 Aye, aye, can't afford to lose it. It's Sara's status symbol. 1083 01:24:24,434 --> 01:24:25,936 You're mad, Georgy. 1084 01:24:26,144 --> 01:24:28,772 Think so? Never been better. 1085 01:24:33,151 --> 01:24:34,824 JAMES: Hey, hey! 1086 01:24:36,488 --> 01:24:40,914 - Your dad told me about all this. - Left holding the baby as usual. 1087 01:24:41,368 --> 01:24:42,585 (BABY CRYING) 1088 01:24:42,661 --> 01:24:46,006 - Can we talk? - Haven't got time. She's due for a bath. 1089 01:24:47,374 --> 01:24:49,217 Well? 1090 01:24:49,418 --> 01:24:52,968 You can't go on like this, Georgy. 1091 01:24:57,676 --> 01:24:59,804 Poor old James. 1092 01:25:00,012 --> 01:25:01,309 BYE-bye. 1093 01:25:33,962 --> 01:25:36,886 Peg says we ought to think more about Sara. 1094 01:25:37,090 --> 01:25:40,185 - More? - Yes, her future. 1095 01:25:40,385 --> 01:25:41,853 Look. 1096 01:25:42,721 --> 01:25:46,726 For one moment, just let us think 1097 01:25:46,933 --> 01:25:50,028 of nothing but the present. 1098 01:25:54,191 --> 01:25:56,910 (BABY FUSSING) 1099 01:26:06,453 --> 01:26:09,707 She thinks Sara's going to suffer if we're not married. 1100 01:26:09,915 --> 01:26:14,386 Oh, nuts. Look, it'll be years before that becomes a problem. 1101 01:26:14,795 --> 01:26:17,514 We can't go on like this for years. 1102 01:26:20,217 --> 01:26:22,595 Don't you want to marry me? 1103 01:26:25,055 --> 01:26:26,932 You used to. 1104 01:26:30,060 --> 01:26:31,357 What? 1105 01:26:31,561 --> 01:26:33,780 Want to marry me. 1106 01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:37,693 You've changed. 1107 01:26:39,653 --> 01:26:40,950 I've changed? 1108 01:26:41,571 --> 01:26:44,745 No, Mum. I don't change. 1109 01:26:44,950 --> 01:26:46,998 - You've changed. - I'm making a home for you. 1110 01:26:47,202 --> 01:26:48,954 A home? A clinic. 1111 01:26:49,162 --> 01:26:52,166 - Look, do you honestly like all this? - Yes. 1112 01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:58,673 George, I... 1113 01:27:00,924 --> 01:27:02,221 No, Jos. I'm going to sleep. 1114 01:27:02,426 --> 01:27:04,645 I've got to feed Sara in a couple of hours. 1115 01:28:12,579 --> 01:28:15,332 - Mrs Jones? - Yes. 1116 01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:17,292 Well, no. Actually, my name's Parkin. 1117 01:28:18,585 --> 01:28:20,258 Mrs Jones does live here, though? 1118 01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:22,426 Not exactly, no. 1119 01:28:23,507 --> 01:28:24,804 Mr Jones does. 1120 01:28:26,259 --> 01:28:29,263 - And the baby? - Oh yes, the baby's here. I was just changing her. 1121 01:28:29,513 --> 01:28:33,689 I see. Well, perhaps you could spare me a moment. 1122 01:28:36,144 --> 01:28:38,272 I'm your health visitor. 1123 01:28:38,980 --> 01:28:40,607 Well, come in. Awfully wet. 1124 01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:43,031 Thank you. 1125 01:28:50,367 --> 01:28:52,916 Isn't she sweet? 1126 01:28:53,119 --> 01:28:54,996 Gorgeous. 1127 01:28:55,455 --> 01:28:58,504 But the husband has custody of the child? 1128 01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:01,504 Well, yes, it's a bit vague, really. 1129 01:29:01,711 --> 01:29:04,555 - But he lives here? - Oh, yes. 1130 01:29:08,176 --> 01:29:10,474 And you, do you live here? 1131 01:29:11,888 --> 01:29:14,437 Well, I sort of live in. 1132 01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:19,651 I'm employed to look after the baby while Mr Jones is at work. 1133 01:29:22,482 --> 01:29:25,531 I sleep on the divan in the sitting room. 1134 01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:30,870 So he has a steady job? I mean, there's no problem about providing for the child? 1135 01:29:31,074 --> 01:29:33,543 Oh, no. He has this terribly good job at the bank. 1136 01:29:33,743 --> 01:29:35,541 He's very responsible. 1137 01:29:35,745 --> 01:29:37,622 Aware of his responsibilities. 1138 01:29:37,831 --> 01:29:39,833 JOS: Georgina! 1139 01:29:40,417 --> 01:29:41,760 George! Where are you? 1140 01:29:41,960 --> 01:29:43,382 You great sexy beast! 1141 01:29:43,628 --> 01:29:45,630 I'm free! Hey! 1142 01:29:46,298 --> 01:29:49,393 I chucked in that god-awful job at the bank, and I'm free. 1143 01:29:49,593 --> 01:29:52,597 Now we can spend all day in bed together. Hey, where are you? 1144 01:29:52,804 --> 01:29:55,683 Hey, where are you hiding that great seraphic body of yours? Eh? 1145 01:29:55,891 --> 01:29:59,020 Come out! Come out! Come out! Come out! 1146 01:30:01,146 --> 01:30:02,489 Mr Jones? 1147 01:30:02,689 --> 01:30:04,532 ♪ You've got to have a heartache 1148 01:30:04,608 --> 01:30:08,078 ♪ When you fall in love 1149 01:30:08,278 --> 01:30:11,703 ♪ Fall in love ♪ 1150 01:30:12,282 --> 01:30:14,535 You don't sound as if you've got much heartache. 1151 01:30:14,743 --> 01:30:17,997 I have. I have. It really, really hurts. 1152 01:30:18,997 --> 01:30:22,752 MAN ON SPEAKER: Now, as we ride by the end of the jetty, on our right-hand side, 1153 01:30:22,959 --> 01:30:27,055 if you look on the shore, you will see a small cream-coloured house 1154 01:30:27,255 --> 01:30:29,007 with a red street door. 1155 01:30:29,633 --> 01:30:32,056 In that house, Sir Christopher Wren lived 1156 01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:35,139 while St Paul's Cathedral was being constructed. 1157 01:30:35,889 --> 01:30:37,311 And, as you can see... 1158 01:30:37,515 --> 01:30:39,609 JOS: (MIMICKING) "In that house, Sir Christopher Wren lived 1159 01:30:39,809 --> 01:30:43,655 "while St Paul's Cathedral was being constructed." 1160 01:30:44,522 --> 01:30:50,495 MAN ON SPEAKER: This next bridge is the narrowest road bridge across the river. 1161 01:30:52,864 --> 01:30:54,411 He could see it from his bedroom window. 1162 01:30:54,616 --> 01:30:56,869 And then one morning, he woke up, and he saw that they were finished, 1163 01:30:56,952 --> 01:31:01,879 and he said, "My God, it's there. I'm famous. I've built St Paul's." 1164 01:31:02,082 --> 01:31:03,129 It's true. 1165 01:31:03,333 --> 01:31:05,711 (GUITAR PLAYING SOFTLY) 1166 01:31:19,683 --> 01:31:22,061 Shall I tell you a little story? 1167 01:31:22,268 --> 01:31:25,772 One wintry afternoon, not unlike this, nip in the air, 1168 01:31:25,981 --> 01:31:28,279 - I watched a fellow drown himself. - Jos, we've got to talk. 1169 01:31:28,483 --> 01:31:30,485 I was walking along the Embankment. 1170 01:31:30,694 --> 01:31:33,038 And he was swimming in the dirty water, with his trousers on 1171 01:31:33,238 --> 01:31:35,616 and a see-through nylon shirt. 1172 01:31:35,824 --> 01:31:38,794 First of all, I thought he was one of these health perverts. 1173 01:31:38,994 --> 01:31:41,588 Then I noticed he was keeping himself away from the shore, 1174 01:31:41,788 --> 01:31:45,418 tiring himself out, you see, getting weaker and weaker. 1175 01:31:47,043 --> 01:31:49,637 Then the river police came in a launch, 1176 01:31:49,838 --> 01:31:52,307 and by that time, he'd gone under. 1177 01:31:53,008 --> 01:31:55,477 They cruised around for a bit, then they went away, 1178 01:31:55,677 --> 01:31:58,226 to get a net, I suppose. 1179 01:32:01,933 --> 01:32:04,231 (SHIP'S WHISTLE BLOWING) 1180 01:32:08,148 --> 01:32:11,948 I never felt suicidal, Georgy, till the last few weeks. 1181 01:32:13,153 --> 01:32:14,700 Didn't you try to save him? 1182 01:32:17,615 --> 01:32:20,368 I don't want to save anybody. 1183 01:32:21,244 --> 01:32:23,212 That's where you're a freak, George. 1184 01:32:23,413 --> 01:32:27,759 Not being big and ugly and all that. It's this wanting to save people. 1185 01:32:40,638 --> 01:32:42,766 MAN ON SPEAKER: ...where we will have a five-minute stay. 1186 01:32:42,974 --> 01:32:46,274 I would like to point out that the commentaries on these vessels 1187 01:32:46,478 --> 01:32:47,980 are entirely voluntary. 1188 01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:51,738 Therefore, should any of you care to appreciate it, 1189 01:32:51,941 --> 01:32:55,286 you may do so, and I will pass among you with a hat, 1190 01:32:55,487 --> 01:32:58,457 for which I should like to thank you very much. 1191 01:32:58,656 --> 01:33:00,909 Thank you very much. 1192 01:33:11,920 --> 01:33:15,174 JOS: I love her. I love her. I love her. I do. What can I do? 1193 01:33:15,381 --> 01:33:19,011 Hey, I am a desperate man, missus. I'll stop at nothing. 1194 01:33:19,260 --> 01:33:21,354 I'm gonna strip stark naked if you don't come home with me. 1195 01:33:21,554 --> 01:33:24,603 Go away, Jos. Go away, or I'll cry. 1196 01:33:24,808 --> 01:33:27,277 Really? How very peculiar. 1197 01:33:27,936 --> 01:33:31,611 You mean salt tears will actually fall down your cheeks? 1198 01:33:31,815 --> 01:33:33,192 Shall I cry? 1199 01:33:33,399 --> 01:33:35,697 I'm told it's quite easy. 1200 01:33:44,077 --> 01:33:47,877 It's no good. Nothing happens. Can you teach me? 1201 01:33:51,292 --> 01:33:53,795 Hey, fat face, I'm talking to you. 1202 01:33:56,381 --> 01:34:00,181 I don't think I've cried since I fell off the seat of my bicycle when I was eight. 1203 01:34:03,221 --> 01:34:07,351 You're not laughing, are you? No, you're not. 1204 01:34:07,559 --> 01:34:09,402 Other people might think you were, but not me. 1205 01:34:09,602 --> 01:34:14,073 I can see through what other people might think was a laugh. Just like that. 1206 01:34:14,274 --> 01:34:15,901 That was meant to be my fingers, 1207 01:34:16,109 --> 01:34:19,158 only, you see, because I can't click my fingers, I use my tongue instead. 1208 01:34:19,362 --> 01:34:21,114 (LAUGHING) 1209 01:34:21,364 --> 01:34:22,536 I'm like Peter Pan. 1210 01:34:22,740 --> 01:34:23,741 (HONKING) 1211 01:34:23,950 --> 01:34:27,124 He couldn't click his, you know. It's very embarrassing. 1212 01:35:21,216 --> 01:35:24,470 Georgy. Georgy. 1213 01:35:26,262 --> 01:35:28,060 Here, Georgy. 1214 01:35:30,058 --> 01:35:33,062 Georgy, could I talk to you for a minute? 1215 01:35:33,269 --> 01:35:35,488 Come inside. 1216 01:35:35,730 --> 01:35:37,403 Come inside. 1217 01:35:43,571 --> 01:35:44,697 (RAPPING ON GLASS) 1218 01:35:44,781 --> 01:35:48,285 - Where are we going? - Nowhere. 1219 01:35:48,493 --> 01:35:52,214 I just want to be sure of your undivided attention. 1220 01:35:52,413 --> 01:35:55,963 Oh, I see. It's abduction now. 1221 01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:58,553 He's gone, hasn't he? 1222 01:35:58,753 --> 01:36:00,346 Jos? Yeah. 1223 01:36:00,546 --> 01:36:03,220 What are you going to do now? 1224 01:36:04,217 --> 01:36:06,185 Don't know. 1225 01:36:07,262 --> 01:36:09,731 I've been thinking. 1226 01:36:13,559 --> 01:36:15,061 What? 1227 01:36:15,645 --> 01:36:18,694 I've been thinking that the terms of my proposed contract 1228 01:36:18,898 --> 01:36:21,697 could be amended to cover this. 1229 01:36:21,901 --> 01:36:23,619 Oh, don't you start all that again. 1230 01:36:23,736 --> 01:36:25,864 I've had nothing else for the last six months. 1231 01:36:26,072 --> 01:36:29,121 Just contracts, contracts, contracts. 1232 01:36:30,451 --> 01:36:33,170 They're still going to take the baby away. 1233 01:36:33,371 --> 01:36:35,749 - No, not necessarily... - Stop the car! 1234 01:36:35,873 --> 01:36:37,375 (BRAKES SQUEALING) 1235 01:36:37,458 --> 01:36:40,507 GEORGY: Contracts, contracts! JAMES: Georgy! 1236 01:36:59,314 --> 01:37:01,487 Well, say it properly, then. 1237 01:37:04,694 --> 01:37:06,241 Georgina. 1238 01:37:06,446 --> 01:37:09,120 (BELLS RINGING) 1239 01:37:12,535 --> 01:37:15,755 ♪ (THE SEEKERS: "GEORGY GIRL") 1240 01:37:15,830 --> 01:37:18,800 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 1241 01:37:18,875 --> 01:37:21,754 ♪ Pretty as a picture, told you so 1242 01:37:21,836 --> 01:37:24,680 ♪ Can it be the Georgy we all know 1243 01:37:24,756 --> 01:37:28,010 ♪ Or somebody new? I wonder 1244 01:37:28,092 --> 01:37:30,936 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 1245 01:37:31,012 --> 01:37:34,186 ♪ Hurrying away to celebrate 1246 01:37:34,349 --> 01:37:36,397 - ♪ Got yourself a man, but wait ♪ - Oh, my God! Mother! Mum! 1247 01:37:36,476 --> 01:37:40,856 ♪ There's somebody else for you 1248 01:37:47,111 --> 01:37:49,455 ♪ Who needs a perfect lover 1249 01:37:49,530 --> 01:37:52,909 ♪ When you're a mother at heart? 1250 01:37:52,992 --> 01:37:57,543 ♪ That's all you wanted, right from the start 1251 01:37:57,622 --> 01:37:59,090 ♪ Well, didn't you? 1252 01:37:59,165 --> 01:38:01,839 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 1253 01:38:01,918 --> 01:38:04,967 ♪ Now that you're no longer on the shelf 1254 01:38:05,046 --> 01:38:07,970 ♪ Better try to smile and tell yourself 1255 01:38:08,049 --> 01:38:10,268 ♪ That you got your way 1256 01:38:10,343 --> 01:38:11,686 ♪ You've made it 1257 01:38:11,761 --> 01:38:14,514 ♪ Hey there, Georgy girl 1258 01:38:14,597 --> 01:38:17,476 ♪ Now you've got a future planned for you 1259 01:38:17,558 --> 01:38:19,686 ♪ Though he's not a dream come true 1260 01:38:19,769 --> 01:38:23,490 ♪ At least he's a millionaire 1261 01:38:23,564 --> 01:38:25,942 ♪ So don't despair 1262 01:38:26,025 --> 01:38:28,073 ♪ You're rich, Georgy girl 1263 01:38:29,028 --> 01:38:30,826 ♪ You're rich, Georgy girl 1264 01:38:32,073 --> 01:38:34,292 ♪ You're rich, Georgy girl 1265 01:38:35,326 --> 01:38:37,328 ♪ You're rich, Georgy girl 1266 01:38:38,079 --> 01:38:40,002 ♪ You're rich, Georgy girl ♪ 1267 01:38:41,999 --> 01:38:45,754 SUBTITLES BY POWERHOUSE FILMS LTD