1 00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:25,400 What about the others? I'd be playing a dirty trick on them. 2 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:30,110 - They'll be happy you're gone. - They have a war to win. 3 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,400 Well... what the hell. 4 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:38,920 If they don't want any more missions, let them stand up and say so. 5 00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:41,840 - Precisely. - Exactly. 6 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,000 Help! Help! 7 00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:02,210 Help him! 8 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,790 - What? - Help him! Help him! 9 00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:07,950 - Help who? - Help the bombardier! 10 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,750 - I'm the bombardier, I'm all right. - Then help him! Help HlM! 11 00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:29,110 - Snowden. - What'd he say? 12 00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:33,480 - He said, "Snowden". - Snowden's dead. 13 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,150 Snowden? 14 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:42,580 - Why's he talking to a dead man? - He's Yossarian. He's crazy. 15 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,540 - Who says so? - I do. 16 00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:48,910 - Cos I hate that son of a bitch? - Who? 17 00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:51,460 - Colonel Cathcart. - I didn't ask you. 18 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:54,340 - Cathcart isn't here. - Who mentioned him? 19 00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:57,470 - Colonel Korn isn't here. - Who mentioned him? 20 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,390 - Who do you hate? - What son of a bitch lS here? 21 00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:03,850 - You don't make sense. - You got a persecution complex. 22 00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:05,940 - Damn right. - You admit it! 23 00:08:05,970 --> 00:08:08,940 I admit I'm being persecuted, by them! 24 00:08:08,970 --> 00:08:13,810 - Who specifically is "them"? - All of them! Who do you think? 25 00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:16,830 - I've no idea! - Then how do you know they aren't? 26 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:18,200 Ahhh! 27 00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:21,360 - That's sheer what-do-you-call-it. - Sophistry. 28 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,670 Like hell it is, McWatt. They're trying to kill me! 29 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,740 No one's trying to kill you. Eat your dessert. 30 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:32,050 - Then why are they shooting at me? - They're shooting at everyone. 31 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,970 - What difference does that make? - Suppose everyone thought like you? 32 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,890 - I'd be a fool to think different. - You need your head examined. 33 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,220 There's nothing wrong with it. 34 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:49,140 - Look at it once, will you? - Yossarian, your head is OK. 35 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:52,470 Please, don't do that. 36 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:57,990 - Yes. What? - Doc? Doc? 37 00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:01,570 - I want you to ground me. - Don't start that again. 38 00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:11,550 - Doc, I don't want to fly any more. - Why? 39 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,630 It's dangerous. 40 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:17,930 Listen, I told you... Let's get out of here, huh? 41 00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:23,710 I've flown 35 missions. Now that nut has raised it to 50. 42 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,940 In any other outfit I would've been rotated after 25. Help me out. 43 00:09:27,970 --> 00:09:30,860 I'm due for rotation myself soon 44 00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:34,070 if I don't cause trouble or break any rules. 45 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:38,200 One rule says I can't ground anyone just because he asks me to. 46 00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:42,870 - Can you ground someone who's crazy? - Of course. A rule says I have to. 47 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:46,000 - I'm crazy! - Who says so? 48 00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:49,320 Ask Nately, Dobbs, McWatt... Hey, Orr, tell him! 49 00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:51,530 - Tell him what? - Am I crazy? 50 00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:54,210 He's crazy, Doc. He won't fly with me. 51 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:58,300 I'd take good care of him but he won't. He's crazy, all right. 52 00:09:58,330 --> 00:10:01,760 - See that? They all say I'm crazy. - They're crazy. 53 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,720 - Why don't you ground them? - Why don't they ask me? 54 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,050 - Because they're crazy! - Of course they're crazy. 55 00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:13,100 You can't let crazy people decide whether you're crazy or not, can you? 56 00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:17,600 - Is Orr crazy? - Of course he is. 57 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:21,610 He has to be if he keeps flying after all those close calls. 58 00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:24,620 - Then why don't you ground him? - He has to ask me. 59 00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:27,120 - That's all he's gotta do? - That's all. 60 00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:31,080 - Then you can ground him? - No. Then l cannot ground him. 61 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,780 There's a catch. 62 00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:34,880 - A catch? - Sure, Catch-22. 63 00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:38,710 Anyone who wants to get out of combat isn't really crazy, 64 00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:40,830 so I can't ground him. 65 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,960 OK. Let me see if I got this straight. 66 00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:48,050 In order to be grounded, I've got to be crazy 67 00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,430 and I must be crazy to keep flying. 68 00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:53,900 But if I ask to be grounded, I'm not crazy any more 69 00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:57,280 - and I have to keep flying. - You've got it! That's Catch-22. 70 00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:59,390 Whoooo! 71 00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:08,610 - That's some catch, that Catch-22. - It's the best there is! 72 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:16,240 Good afternoon, this is Major Danby, your Flight Operations Officer, 73 00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,700 welcoming you to today's mission. 74 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:23,330 You've all been briefed on this morning's run, so I won't go over it. 75 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:27,960 There's no sense naming names since the enemy is probably listening 76 00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:30,310 and there's no reason I can think of 77 00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:32,980 to tell him where we're going to strike. 78 00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:36,780 That's the stupidest goddamn thing I ever heard him say. 79 00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:38,070 That's right! 80 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:41,980 Weather conditions have improved tremendously, 81 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:45,400 so you won't have any trouble seeing the target. 82 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,520 Of course, you mustn't forget, 83 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:51,530 that means that they will have no trouble at all seeing you. 84 00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:55,910 Colonel Cathcart would like to say a few words before takeoff. 85 00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:59,550 - And so, without further ado... - Give me that! 86 00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:03,800 Men, I'm not gonna waste any more of your time than I have to. 87 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:07,010 I wanna wish you good luck on today's mission. 88 00:12:07,050 --> 00:12:09,890 To those of you who won't be coming back, 89 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:14,510 we're gonna do our best to take care of your wives and/or sweethearts. 90 00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:16,440 And don't forget, 91 00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:20,530 General Dreedle wants to see a nice, tight bombing pattern 92 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,980 on those aerial photographs. 93 00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:25,100 Everyone ready to go? 94 00:14:38,490 --> 00:14:42,030 - Colonel Korn, stay in the tower. - Sir? 95 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,720 Stay on top of this. I'd like to know when my boys make target. 96 00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:48,660 Yes, sir! 97 00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:51,890 What is it, Lieutenant Minderbinder? 98 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:56,310 - An egg, sir. - I know that, Lieutenant. 99 00:14:56,340 --> 00:15:00,270 - A fresh egg, sir. - Where did you get the egg? 100 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:06,010 In Malta, sir, where there are enough chickens to lay fresh eggs 101 00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:08,480 for every officer in the squadron, 102 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,660 at five cents apiece from the mess fund. 103 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:17,580 - Yes? - With a profit of two cents per egg. 104 00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,580 For whom? 105 00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:25,410 Sir, for whomever sells the eggs to the mess. 106 00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:29,760 - And who may that be, Milo? - Ah, sir. 107 00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:33,140 - Oranges from Marrakech, pecans... - Pecans? 108 00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:37,670 And in Palermo, 10,000 gallons of the finest Italian olive oil. 109 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,310 The Sicilians need blankets. It would be a fair trade. 110 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,730 They're interested in Sardinia. 111 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:48,270 All we need is the cooperation of the countries we're dealing with. 112 00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:49,900 What countries? 113 00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:54,520 The African nations, countries in the Greater Mediterranean area. 114 00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:58,500 So what we need is an additional assignment of personnel, 115 00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:01,370 a little time and a plane. 116 00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:04,500 - What plane? - One of ours, sir. If I had one, 117 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:08,080 I could get the gasoline to Malta and bring the eggs back. 118 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,790 All right. 119 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:14,720 And if I was taken off combat duty until I get this into operation... 120 00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,010 But Milo... 121 00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:19,090 I know, sir, I'm just an acting mess officer 122 00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:23,310 but it requires my full attention. It's to everyone's benefit. 123 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:26,110 - Take whatever you need. - Thank you. 124 00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:30,150 I hope to give the men the finest cuisine in the entire world. 125 00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,650 Uh-huh... 126 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:36,270 - Isn't that something to shoot at? - Yes, Milo, it certainly is. 127 00:16:44,660 --> 00:16:49,380 With your permission, I'd like to show you something I've had printed. 128 00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:52,620 - What is it? - Just an idea, sir. It's a share. 129 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:55,390 - A share? - In M&M Enterprises. 130 00:16:55,420 --> 00:17:00,170 If we get my ideas into practice, it should be organized like a mart. 131 00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:02,800 - A mart? - Yes, sir, a syndicate. 132 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,720 An enterprise. There are tremendous profits to be made, Colonel. 133 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,820 - For us? - For everyone. 134 00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:14,020 What will be good for M&M Enterprises will be good for the country. 135 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:18,450 - You'll have our full cooperation. - Thank you, sir. 136 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:23,490 If I take a plane this afternoon, I'll get this material to Alexandria. 137 00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:26,620 - There's a huge cotton crop. - Cotton? 138 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:29,780 - Cotton is a very liquid commodity. - How much? 139 00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:33,290 - We'll trade for it, sir. - With what? 140 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,720 Silk! 4,000 yards of silk. 141 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:40,140 How in the world did you get hold of so much silk? 142 00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:42,470 Where the hell's my parachute? 143 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:49,310 OK, all right, which one of you bastards stole my parachute? 144 00:17:56,270 --> 00:18:01,440 Hello, hello, this is the bombardier here. We gotta turn back. 145 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,750 Uh, Nately, we gotta turn back now. 146 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,580 Nately! Do you hear me up there? 147 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:12,130 We gotta turn back. OK, we're gonna turn back now. 148 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,300 Nately, let's turn back. We're gonna turn back! 149 00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:19,430 What is it this time, Yossarian? 150 00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:23,000 Some bastard stole my chute! Aahh! 151 00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:27,310 - Anything the matter? - My parachute. It's gone! 152 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:30,230 - Don't worry about it. - What do you mean? 153 00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:34,110 What do I do if I have to bail out, use my handkerchief?! 154 00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:38,810 That kind of humor in the face of adversity keeps America strong. 155 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,490 I like you, Yossarian. 156 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,730 Aardvark, I'd like to kill you but I haven't got time. 157 00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:46,960 You could have my chute but I gave it to Milo. 158 00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:50,110 - You gave it to Milo? - He's got all the chutes. 159 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,840 He's got a hell of a deal going for silk in Alexandria. 160 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:56,260 Maybe I do have time to kill... 161 00:18:56,290 --> 00:19:00,140 - Looks like they've seen us coming. - They've seen us! 162 00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:05,170 - Oh, God, they've seen us! - Get ready to dump those eggs. 163 00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:13,650 They're shooting at me! Where are we? 164 00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:17,610 Aardvark, where are we? 165 00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:27,780 - I think we're there. - 'We're there?' 166 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,450 We're there? We're there! 167 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,040 Get ready to turn! 168 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,130 Four, three... 169 00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:44,330 two, one, drop! Let's go! 170 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:48,310 Turn right hard! Turn, turn! 171 00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:52,270 Turn, you son of a bitch! Turn right! 172 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:56,150 - Turn, turn right! - Look at that, will you? 173 00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:59,110 I think we've got 'em this time, where it hurts. 174 00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,140 - Get out. - I can't hear you. 175 00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:03,770 - Get back in the ship! - What's that? 176 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:08,230 Oh, climb, you bastard! Climb! Climb! 177 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:14,450 - Fire! Fire on board! - Fire? Where's the fire? 178 00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:18,250 - Get out of the nose! - 'I'm not in the nose.' 179 00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:20,450 Speak up. I still can't hear you. 180 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:23,260 They're trying to kill us. Get out of here! 181 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:27,880 - 'Which way should I go?' - Turn left, you son of a bitch! 182 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,600 Look, there goes Orr. 183 00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:39,140 That stupid little bastard. Pull out! 184 00:20:47,610 --> 00:20:51,710 Hey, I think you've caught a little something there. 185 00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:53,900 Is it my leg? 186 00:20:54,990 --> 00:20:56,880 Hey, is that my leg? 187 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:02,510 - What's with my leg? - Take it easy. 188 00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:04,620 My leg! 189 00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:11,770 Yossarian's caught one. 190 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,010 - What's that? - 'Help him!' 191 00:21:17,050 --> 00:21:19,610 - What? - 'Help him! Help him!' 192 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,740 - Help who? - 'Help the bombardier!' 193 00:21:22,770 --> 00:21:27,270 - I'm the bombardier, I'm all right. - 'Then help him! Help HlM!' 194 00:22:06,690 --> 00:22:09,370 It's, uh... 195 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,110 - What's his name, the new gunner? - 'Snowden.' 196 00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,240 Yeah. 197 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,280 Snowden. 198 00:22:58,490 --> 00:23:02,830 - I'm cold. - OK. You're gonna be OK. 199 00:23:02,870 --> 00:23:06,500 I'm cold. I'm cold. 200 00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:22,800 Over here! Hurry up! 201 00:23:23,890 --> 00:23:26,110 Hey! 202 00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:38,250 - What? - I asked how you were feeling. 203 00:24:44,470 --> 00:24:46,520 Oh. 204 00:24:47,770 --> 00:24:50,440 Better, thank you. 205 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,700 What about you? 206 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,070 Me? Fairly well, thank you. 207 00:24:58,110 --> 00:25:00,440 You're welcome. 208 00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:05,540 - Except for a slight head cold. - Mmm. 209 00:25:06,620 --> 00:25:10,130 Had it for about a week, can't seem to shake it. 210 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,660 Well, you know what they're like. 211 00:25:12,710 --> 00:25:16,470 No, l, uh... I don't. 212 00:25:17,630 --> 00:25:21,510 I've never really had a head cold. I've tried but... 213 00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:27,390 Can't seem to be able to get one. 214 00:25:27,430 --> 00:25:30,150 Well, you're very lucky. 215 00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:35,060 Yes, I suppose I am. 216 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,330 Except for this piece of shrapnel I caught in my leg. 217 00:25:41,530 --> 00:25:43,610 Yes. 218 00:25:46,530 --> 00:25:51,000 I've never caught a piece of shrapnel. 219 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,420 Mmm. 220 00:26:04,510 --> 00:26:06,980 You're a chaplain! 221 00:26:07,010 --> 00:26:09,860 Yes. Didn't you know that? 222 00:26:09,890 --> 00:26:15,240 No, I didn't. I've never really seen a chaplain before. 223 00:26:15,270 --> 00:26:19,230 I had no idea chaplains looked like that. 224 00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:20,910 Well... 225 00:26:20,940 --> 00:26:25,530 Well, if I can do anything to help you, anything at all, you... 226 00:26:25,570 --> 00:26:27,960 Anything? 227 00:26:29,030 --> 00:26:32,410 Like books, or-or... cigarettes. 228 00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,160 Toys? 229 00:26:35,210 --> 00:26:38,720 No, I have everything I need, thank you very much. 230 00:26:39,790 --> 00:26:42,290 Ah... 231 00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:45,020 - You could do one thing for me. - What? 232 00:26:45,050 --> 00:26:49,100 - You could speak to Major Duluth. - The Squadron Commander? 233 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:51,110 I don't want to fly any more. 234 00:26:51,140 --> 00:26:55,610 Cathcart raised the number of missions! He's trying to kill us all! 235 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,350 - I can't do it, I'm desperate! - It's not my business... 236 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,330 - I'm desperate! - I’ll see what I can do. 237 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:06,570 I really will, I’ll... I’m gonna do my best. 238 00:27:22,590 --> 00:27:26,100 It takes me 45 minutes to do this thing. 239 00:27:26,130 --> 00:27:28,550 First I sauté the chicken parts, 240 00:27:28,590 --> 00:27:31,350 then I put the raisins and the onions in. 241 00:27:31,390 --> 00:27:34,980 Three packets of garlic, don't forget the garlic. 242 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,330 He-he yelled. 243 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,510 I'm... I'm awfully sorry, sir. 244 00:28:02,540 --> 00:28:05,560 - What's your name? - Major, sir. 245 00:28:05,590 --> 00:28:08,430 Not your rank, I asked your name. 246 00:28:08,470 --> 00:28:13,690 No, sir. I'm a captain. My name is Major. Captain Major. 247 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,220 Just about as clear as mud, isn't it? 248 00:28:16,270 --> 00:28:18,940 That's what it's just about as clear as. 249 00:28:18,980 --> 00:28:23,980 Listen, Captain. You know Major Duluth, the Squadron Commander? 250 00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:26,360 - He's a fine man, sir. - Was. 251 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,250 - Sir? - Major Duluth is dead. 252 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,580 I'm distraught to hear that, sir. 253 00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:36,920 You may be distraught but he's dead. Shot down over Perugia today. 254 00:28:36,950 --> 00:28:42,340 That'll teach him to go on missions when he should be in the office. 255 00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:46,050 - I don't see... - We need a new Squadron Commander. 256 00:28:46,090 --> 00:28:50,310 And you're the only major available on our headquarters staff. 257 00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:52,640 No, Major is my name, not my rank. 258 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:56,640 That's close enough for me, Major. Consider yourself a major. 259 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,970 I don't know anything about being a commander. 260 00:29:00,020 --> 00:29:02,780 We all have to make sacrifices, Major. 261 00:29:02,810 --> 00:29:05,230 Sir, I'm in Billeting and Laundry! 262 00:29:05,270 --> 00:29:09,410 I know that, sir, but we all have to do our part, I guess. 263 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,250 Well, I don't like my part. 264 00:29:20,500 --> 00:29:24,590 Sergeant, I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon off 265 00:29:24,630 --> 00:29:29,550 and lie down in my tent and think about things. 266 00:29:29,590 --> 00:29:32,850 Sir, there's someone waiting to see you. 267 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,270 - Now? - Yes, sir. 268 00:29:36,550 --> 00:29:40,400 - Who is it? - Captain Tappman, Group Chaplain. 269 00:29:40,430 --> 00:29:41,990 What does he want? 270 00:29:42,020 --> 00:29:46,110 I don't know, sir, something to do with Captain Yossarian. 271 00:29:48,860 --> 00:29:51,620 Look, um, Sergeant... 272 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,320 My job is tough enough 273 00:29:55,360 --> 00:30:00,000 without having to deal all the time with people who want something. 274 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,510 - Do I make myself clear? - Yes, sir. 275 00:30:02,540 --> 00:30:04,840 I suppose you're wondering about this. 276 00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:07,590 Sir, it's not my place to wonder. 277 00:30:07,630 --> 00:30:11,220 - Did you know people stare at me? - No, sir. 278 00:30:11,260 --> 00:30:13,840 They think, "Who is that Major Major, 279 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,840 "that he gets to be commander without ever having flown?" 280 00:30:17,890 --> 00:30:21,760 - I don't think people think that. - Well, they do. 281 00:30:21,810 --> 00:30:25,150 When I have this on, they don't know who I am. 282 00:30:26,230 --> 00:30:29,030 Did... Did you know in the Middle Ages 283 00:30:29,070 --> 00:30:33,570 princes and kings put on disguises and walked around their subjects? 284 00:30:33,610 --> 00:30:37,540 - I didn't know that. - You don't know everything, do you? 285 00:30:37,570 --> 00:30:42,130 - No, sir. Why did they do that? - Why did who do what?! 286 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,050 Why did they walk around in disguise? 287 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:50,000 How the hell am I supposed to know? I'm not some historian or anything. 288 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:55,180 I'm just a guy trying to do his job. Good afternoon, Sergeant. 289 00:30:56,260 --> 00:30:58,010 Sir? 290 00:30:58,050 --> 00:31:01,150 - What is it now? - What do I do with the Chaplain? 291 00:31:01,180 --> 00:31:05,650 I don't want anyone to come and see me while I'm in my office. 292 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,530 What do I say to people who want to see you? 293 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,980 - Ask them to wait. - For how long? 294 00:31:11,020 --> 00:31:12,490 Until I've left. 295 00:31:12,530 --> 00:31:14,410 - Then what? - I don't care. 296 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,210 - I send them in after you've left? - Yes. 297 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,570 - You won't be here then. - No. 298 00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:22,740 Also, I don't want you coming in while I'm here 299 00:31:22,790 --> 00:31:25,340 asking if there's anything you can do. 300 00:31:25,370 --> 00:31:28,300 When should I ask if there's anything I can do? 301 00:31:28,330 --> 00:31:30,250 When I'm not there! 302 00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:33,470 - What do I do then? - Whatever has to be done. 303 00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:38,340 I'm sorry to have to talk to you this way, but I have to. 304 00:31:38,380 --> 00:31:40,880 - Goodbye. - Goodbye, sir. 305 00:31:46,850 --> 00:31:49,320 - Sergeant? - Yes, sir? 306 00:31:49,350 --> 00:31:53,060 - Thank you, for everything. - Thank you, sir. 307 00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:00,610 Major will see you now, Father. 308 00:32:00,660 --> 00:32:02,740 Thank you. 309 00:32:02,780 --> 00:32:07,170 - You don't have to call me Father. - Sergeant Towser speaking. 310 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,200 Will you go in? 311 00:32:09,250 --> 00:32:12,510 Yes, sir. I have it here, sir. 312 00:32:19,590 --> 00:32:21,640 There's no one here. 313 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,260 - Where? - In Major Major's office. 314 00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:28,360 - When? - When you go to see him. 315 00:32:28,390 --> 00:32:32,450 What I mean is you can't see him when he's there, 316 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:36,440 when he's in his office, I've tried several times. 317 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,330 - When can you see him? Ever? - Yes, yes. 318 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:43,160 Yes, indeed, you can see him when he isn't there. 319 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,670 That is, he'll see you, all right, 320 00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:50,410 but only in his office and only when he's not there. 321 00:32:50,460 --> 00:32:53,500 The other times, when he's in... 322 00:32:54,590 --> 00:32:58,300 he's not... there... 323 00:32:58,340 --> 00:33:00,390 to be seen. 324 00:33:00,420 --> 00:33:02,260 Except when he's out. 325 00:33:02,300 --> 00:33:04,850 What the hell are you talking about, Father? 326 00:33:05,930 --> 00:33:08,970 - Sir? - Get your ass in here, Padre. 327 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,740 Are you describing some mystical experience? 328 00:33:14,770 --> 00:33:17,360 Some peculiar things are happening. 329 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,750 - You haven't had ecstatic visions? - No, sir. 330 00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:23,990 Didn't see a burning bush, hear any voices? 331 00:33:24,030 --> 00:33:27,240 - Nothing quite so extraordinary. - I hope not. 332 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:31,250 We have to keep our supernatural episodes down to a minimum, 333 00:33:31,290 --> 00:33:35,220 - with a war to win and all that. - Absolutely, sir. 334 00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:38,880 - May I ask where we're going? - Where WE'RE going? 335 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,930 You are going to Colonel Cathcart's office. 336 00:33:41,970 --> 00:33:46,020 - Now? - That's the general idea, Padre. 337 00:33:46,050 --> 00:33:49,820 Uh, i-is there anything wrong? Have I done anything? 338 00:33:49,850 --> 00:33:54,110 I don't know. Are you and Captain Yossarian up to something? 339 00:33:54,150 --> 00:33:57,160 - I don't know what you mean. - Then who does? 340 00:33:57,190 --> 00:34:01,530 - I don't know, sir. - You don't know much about anything. 341 00:34:01,570 --> 00:34:05,080 - No, sir. Sir? - What is it? 342 00:34:05,110 --> 00:34:09,500 It's not necessary to call me Father. I'm an Anabaptist. 343 00:34:09,540 --> 00:34:12,830 Well, thanks for setting me straight on that. 344 00:34:12,870 --> 00:34:16,830 - I thought you'd like to know. - You're a captain, right? 345 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,720 - I’m a lieutenant colonel. Correct? - Yes, sir, it is. 346 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:25,840 Then I can call you anything I want, unless you have some objections. 347 00:34:25,890 --> 00:34:28,190 - Out! - Thank you, sir. 348 00:34:30,220 --> 00:34:33,030 Uh, sir, do you think now...? 349 00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:38,600 - Morning. Anything I can get you? - Morning, Lieutenant. What? 350 00:34:38,650 --> 00:34:41,150 - Do you need any supplies? - No. 351 00:34:41,190 --> 00:34:44,400 Whiskey, silk stockings, fresh fruit? 352 00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:48,950 The Colonel loves fresh fruit. What about religious supplies? 353 00:34:48,990 --> 00:34:52,840 I can get hold of an entire shipment of religious relics, 354 00:34:52,870 --> 00:34:54,950 blessed by the Pope himself. 355 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,510 Includes the wrist and collar bones of some of your top saints. 356 00:34:58,540 --> 00:35:03,430 - That's very kind of you. - If you need anything, ask for Milo. 357 00:35:03,460 --> 00:35:07,730 - I've never been issued a blanket. - Anything at all, now! 358 00:35:21,570 --> 00:35:24,040 Yeah? 359 00:35:24,070 --> 00:35:27,330 I think the Colonel wants to see me. 360 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,290 - He does? - I believe so. I'm... 361 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,280 - Chaplain Tappman. - You're Chaplain Tappman? 362 00:35:34,330 --> 00:35:38,260 Have a seat. I’ll tell the Colonel you're here, Father. 363 00:35:38,290 --> 00:35:40,370 It's not... 364 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,940 You'd better get some dry things. 365 00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:59,700 Oh, I will, as soon as the Colonel is through with me. 366 00:36:02,690 --> 00:36:06,070 - They just got me out of the sea. - They did? 367 00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:10,830 - I drifted for almost three days. - You should report to the hospital. 368 00:36:10,870 --> 00:36:14,410 - You could catch pneumonia. - Oh, no, not me. 369 00:36:14,450 --> 00:36:17,630 - This is my fourth time. - How do you mean? 370 00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:21,460 I've put down in the Mediterranean once, once in the Adriatic, 371 00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:25,210 then I crash-landed one plane and I bailed out once. 372 00:36:26,510 --> 00:36:29,850 - You're very lucky. - That's what some folks say. 373 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:34,300 Yossarian says they're gonna start taking it out of my salary. 374 00:36:34,350 --> 00:36:35,860 Yossarian? 375 00:36:35,890 --> 00:36:39,940 - He's a friend. Do you know him? - Yes, as a matter of fact... 376 00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:42,910 - Captain Tappman! - Yes? 377 00:36:44,770 --> 00:36:48,950 - Perhaps you shouldn't fly any more. - It's good practice. 378 00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:54,380 - Tappman, the Colonel is a busy man. - Yes, of course. 379 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:06,420 Well, Chaplain, we don't see much of you around here lately. 380 00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:11,020 Well, sir, I try to stay out of the way as much as possible. 381 00:37:11,050 --> 00:37:15,270 - I make the men uncomfortable. - Nonsense! 382 00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:19,970 I can't imagine any man not enjoying the benefits of your presence. 383 00:37:20,020 --> 00:37:23,390 Unless, of course, they're atheists. 384 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,150 - Not much chance of that, though. - I don't know, sir. 385 00:37:27,190 --> 00:37:29,870 - Isn't atheism against the law? - No. 386 00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:33,780 It isn't? Then it's un-American, isn't it? 387 00:37:33,820 --> 00:37:36,540 - I'm not sure. - Well, I am. 388 00:37:36,580 --> 00:37:38,960 If I find any atheists on this base, 389 00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:42,710 you can bet they'll soon start believing in something. 390 00:37:42,750 --> 00:37:46,010 That's not why I called you in, Chaplain. 391 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,970 I want you to take a look at this. 392 00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:52,520 Page 48. 393 00:37:55,470 --> 00:38:00,390 Don't read the whole thing. You can get the point from the photographs. 394 00:38:00,430 --> 00:38:03,640 There's a full-page picture of a Colonel in England 395 00:38:03,690 --> 00:38:07,280 whose chaplain conducts prayers before every mission. 396 00:38:07,310 --> 00:38:10,330 I see no reason why the Saturday Evening Post 397 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,790 should not be interested in the story of my outfit. 398 00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:19,130 Think up some nice, snappy prayers to send the men out feeling good. 399 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,170 Can you do that? Hm? 400 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,830 - I’ll try. - Well, good! Let's get to it! 401 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,000 Yes, sir. 402 00:38:35,220 --> 00:38:37,770 Is there something else? 403 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,050 Sir, it may be none of my business 404 00:38:40,100 --> 00:38:45,020 but some of the men are particularly upset about the fact 405 00:38:45,060 --> 00:38:49,320 that you keep raising the number of missions they have to fly. 406 00:38:51,980 --> 00:38:55,080 - You're right, Chaplain. - I am, sir? 407 00:38:55,110 --> 00:38:59,250 That it's none of your business. And it's none of theirs either. 408 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,000 Their business is to fly missions. 409 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,920 Your business is to think up catchy prayers 410 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,880 that'lI get me into the Saturday Evening Post. 411 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,890 - Good afternoon, Chaplain! - Yes, sir. 412 00:39:13,550 --> 00:39:18,020 - Excuse me. - Excuse me, Padre. 413 00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:28,100 He says the men are upset because l keep raising the number of missions. 414 00:39:28,150 --> 00:39:30,530 - Yossarian. - What? 415 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:35,150 It's that Captain Yossarian. He's always bitching and making trouble. 416 00:39:35,190 --> 00:39:39,460 - What can we do about it? - What would General Dreedle do? 417 00:39:39,780 --> 00:39:41,670 He'd crush him. 418 00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:44,090 - Tear him apart! - Smack him in the face! 419 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,170 - Jab him in the kidneys! - Kick him in the balls! 420 00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:57,350 Keep your head down between your legs. 421 00:39:57,380 --> 00:39:59,940 Try to breathe deeply and evenly. 422 00:39:59,970 --> 00:40:04,190 I'm sorry, Captain. I know how that must feel. 423 00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:06,720 - I don't think so. - Try not to talk. 424 00:40:06,770 --> 00:40:09,610 Just think about nice things. 425 00:40:09,650 --> 00:40:12,620 Think about how lovely it is here, 426 00:40:12,650 --> 00:40:18,080 how lovely it could be if someone didn't always try to spoil it. 427 00:40:18,110 --> 00:40:21,710 - Why do you always try to spoil it? - Because I love you. 428 00:40:21,740 --> 00:40:24,840 I know that, Captain. I know that. 429 00:40:24,870 --> 00:40:29,010 But this is wartime. We've got a job to do, soldier. 430 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:33,000 We just can't give in to ourselves. Think how it is for me. 431 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:37,630 One of a handful of women on an island with thousands of men. 432 00:40:37,670 --> 00:40:42,150 Men who are giving up their lives for our country, for me. 433 00:40:42,180 --> 00:40:45,800 Think about... Captain Yossarian! 434 00:40:45,850 --> 00:40:48,490 What are you doing? 435 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,600 Listen, I'm gonna die. 436 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,820 - No, no. No, no, no, no. - Yes, mm! 437 00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:58,360 Oh, God. Oh... 438 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,030 What is it? 439 00:41:02,070 --> 00:41:04,410 - What's the matter? - Oh! 440 00:41:04,450 --> 00:41:09,590 The name of the town is Ferrara and it's right around here. 441 00:41:09,620 --> 00:41:13,170 It's a very pretty town, on the coast... 442 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,810 - You all right? - It's her, it's her! 443 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,130 - Who? Who? - Dreedle's WAC! 444 00:41:22,180 --> 00:41:26,730 If you do your job well, there won't be much left, anyway. 445 00:41:27,810 --> 00:41:32,730 Intelligence reports indicate you shouldn't have to worry about flak. 446 00:41:32,770 --> 00:41:36,780 We were hoping for some new recon photos of the area. 447 00:41:36,820 --> 00:41:41,620 Unfortunately, they haven't arrived but then, no news is good news. 448 00:41:41,650 --> 00:41:43,990 A lot of you may ask yourselves, 449 00:41:44,030 --> 00:41:47,990 "How come we're out to destroy a town with no industry, 450 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,670 "no enemy bases, no strategic value to anyone?" 451 00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:55,830 Attention! 452 00:42:04,430 --> 00:42:08,020 As you were. Good morning, gentlemen. 453 00:42:08,060 --> 00:42:12,530 We're honored to have General Dreedle at today's briefing. 454 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:16,610 Don't pay any attention to me, just carry on as usual. 455 00:42:16,650 --> 00:42:20,870 - Don't pay any attention to Dad. - Will you clam up? 456 00:42:22,070 --> 00:42:24,290 Don't call me Dad. 457 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:29,880 - Go ahead with your briefing, Major. - Yes, well... Thank you, sir. 458 00:42:30,950 --> 00:42:33,760 I was just telling the men here that... 459 00:42:33,790 --> 00:42:37,890 - Don't tell me. Tell them! - Tell the men, Danby. 460 00:42:39,380 --> 00:42:43,770 Yes. I was just explaining why we're going to obliterate... 461 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,900 - What about a chair? - Sir? 462 00:42:49,310 --> 00:42:52,150 - A chair. - I beg your pardon, General? 463 00:42:52,180 --> 00:42:54,900 A chair! 464 00:42:54,940 --> 00:42:57,570 Doesn't anyone know what a chair is?! 465 00:43:01,110 --> 00:43:03,660 Can't you see a lady is standing? 466 00:43:03,690 --> 00:43:06,660 A chair for Dad's gir... for the lady! 467 00:43:22,210 --> 00:43:24,180 Carry on. 468 00:43:24,220 --> 00:43:27,840 We're now going to synchronize our watches. 469 00:43:27,890 --> 00:43:30,270 Now, we've all done this before, 470 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,430 so I don't think we're going to have any problem. 471 00:43:34,770 --> 00:43:40,200 If everyone will be kind enough to look down at his watch, we'll begin. 472 00:43:40,230 --> 00:43:46,080 It is now 1 1 15 hours minus 50... 473 00:43:46,110 --> 00:43:49,740 - 49, 48, 47... - Mmm. 474 00:43:49,780 --> 00:43:54,500 46, 45, 44, 43... 475 00:43:54,540 --> 00:43:57,010 - Mmmmm. - Yossarian. 476 00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:02,430 - Ohh... Oh-oh... - ..40, 39, 38, 37... 477 00:44:02,460 --> 00:44:04,960 ..36, 35... 478 00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:09,060 - ..34, 33, 32... - Mmm. 479 00:44:09,090 --> 00:44:12,220 - ..31, 30... - Ohh-oh... 480 00:44:12,260 --> 00:44:16,930 ..29, 28, 27... 481 00:44:16,980 --> 00:44:21,530 ..26, 25, 24... 482 00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:27,280 - Somebody's gonna get it! - ..22, 21, 20... 483 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:31,170 ..19, 18, 1 7... 484 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:36,170 ..16, 15, 1 4, 1 3, 1 2... 485 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:40,160 - All right, at ease! - ..1 1, 10, 9... 486 00:44:40,210 --> 00:44:43,890 There'll be no more moaning in this outfit. 487 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:47,970 The next man who moans is going to be very sorry. 488 00:44:48,010 --> 00:44:49,520 ..one! 489 00:44:51,340 --> 00:44:53,760 Ohhh. 490 00:44:56,390 --> 00:44:59,190 Who is this man? 491 00:44:59,230 --> 00:45:02,270 - Major Danby, sir. - Danby. D-A-N-B-Y. 492 00:45:02,310 --> 00:45:04,950 - Take him out and shoot him. - Sir? 493 00:45:04,980 --> 00:45:09,950 - I said shoot him. - Take Major Danby out and shoot him. 494 00:45:09,990 --> 00:45:12,870 I think you'd better wait a minute, Dad. 495 00:45:12,910 --> 00:45:15,750 - What? - I don't think you can shoot him. 496 00:45:15,790 --> 00:45:17,950 Why the hell can't l? 497 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,050 Why not? 498 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,260 You mean I can't shoot whoever I want to? 499 00:45:23,290 --> 00:45:26,260 - Is that a fact? - I'm afraid it is, Dad. 500 00:45:26,300 --> 00:45:29,220 You think you're pretty smart, don't you? 501 00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:33,760 Just because my half-wit daughter married you for some reason... 502 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,640 Oh, no, Dad, it's just... 503 00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,820 Let the insubordinate son of a bitch go but get him out of here. 504 00:45:41,940 --> 00:45:45,700 - Better do something. - All right, men, I think we... 505 00:45:45,730 --> 00:45:50,570 owe a vote of thanks to the General for visiting us and cheering us up. 506 00:45:50,610 --> 00:45:53,500 In his honor, I'd like to make an announcement 507 00:45:53,530 --> 00:45:55,610 which may be of interest. 508 00:45:55,660 --> 00:45:58,380 I know you're anxious to do your part... 509 00:45:58,410 --> 00:46:00,160 Here it comes. 510 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,970 As of now, the number of missions required 511 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,140 before you are eligible for rotation is raised to 75. 512 00:46:08,170 --> 00:46:12,560 I know we'll all do our best. Ten-hut! 513 00:46:16,850 --> 00:46:20,860 What are you smiling at, you silly bastard? 514 00:46:20,890 --> 00:46:23,650 - Now I won't have to go home. - You what? 515 00:46:23,690 --> 00:46:26,270 I can stay. I don't have to leave her. 516 00:46:26,310 --> 00:46:30,080 - What are you saying? - I love her. 517 00:46:31,820 --> 00:46:37,530 I do. I really do. I've never felt like this, not even for my mom. 518 00:46:37,580 --> 00:46:40,050 Men don't fall for girls like that. 519 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,630 Men always fall for girls like that. 520 00:46:42,660 --> 00:46:44,970 Ah, one or the other. 521 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,760 I'm gonna take her back to Long Island. 522 00:46:47,790 --> 00:46:51,340 You don't really love her. You think you love her. 523 00:46:51,380 --> 00:46:55,880 How can you tell the difference between love and thinking it's love? 524 00:46:55,930 --> 00:46:58,970 - You have to be objective. - Who's objective? 525 00:46:59,010 --> 00:47:01,860 I am, because I'm not in love with her. 526 00:47:01,890 --> 00:47:04,740 - You mean you think you're not. - Right. 527 00:47:04,770 --> 00:47:07,320 Then how can you tell the difference? 528 00:47:07,350 --> 00:47:09,410 Wait a second... 529 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,240 Hey, look! 530 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:16,950 - Look what Aarfy's got. - Say goodbye, McWatt. Come on! 531 00:47:16,990 --> 00:47:21,740 - Figli Di puttana! - My dear, we had a lovely day. 532 00:47:21,790 --> 00:47:26,050 Did you see what he did? Make him tell you what he did. 533 00:47:28,630 --> 00:47:32,960 - What'd you do, Aarfy? - Nothing. Nice girl. Very nice girl. 534 00:47:33,010 --> 00:47:36,970 She wanted us to go home with her to show us a good time. 535 00:47:37,010 --> 00:47:41,230 We had a good time. We saw the Colosseum and other swell sights. 536 00:47:41,260 --> 00:47:45,490 - Why didn't you take her home? - I can't take advantage of a kid. 537 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:49,230 - Old Aarfy's got some principles. - You've got a diseased mind. 538 00:47:49,270 --> 00:47:51,660 She just wanted to jump in the sack. 539 00:47:51,690 --> 00:47:54,820 She's mixed up. I gave her a good talking to. 540 00:47:54,860 --> 00:47:56,860 He did! 541 00:47:56,900 --> 00:47:59,830 I straightened her out and sent her home. 542 00:47:59,870 --> 00:48:02,790 - You crazy bastard! - You're beneath contempt. 543 00:48:02,830 --> 00:48:06,200 - He's got a dirty mind. - I don't see it that way. 544 00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:09,340 - They want us to go home with them. - How much? 545 00:48:09,380 --> 00:48:11,590 - $30! - Who's the little runt? 546 00:48:11,630 --> 00:48:13,540 Nately's whore's kid sister. 547 00:48:13,590 --> 00:48:17,100 I wanna spend some time with my girl. I’ll pay for us. 548 00:48:17,130 --> 00:48:20,400 Give her the 30 bucks and send the other two away. 549 00:48:20,430 --> 00:48:23,150 She'll be angry with me for making her work. 550 00:48:23,180 --> 00:48:26,940 She said if I really loved her, I'd sleep with the other two. 551 00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:29,060 I swear, you fellas...! 552 00:48:29,980 --> 00:48:32,400 Come on, Yossarian, let's go! 553 00:48:33,650 --> 00:48:35,730 Go on, you go. 554 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,700 - What's wrong? - What isn't wrong? 555 00:48:39,740 --> 00:48:44,240 - Two more missions and we go home. - You know what's gonna happen. 556 00:48:44,290 --> 00:48:48,300 No. Some replacement pilots came into Naples yesterday. 557 00:48:48,330 --> 00:48:49,800 - Who says? - Milo. 558 00:48:49,830 --> 00:48:52,590 He just left there with loads of coconuts. 559 00:48:52,630 --> 00:48:56,250 We'll never see those replacements or those coconuts. 560 00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:59,560 Cathcart wouldn't dare raise the number again. 561 00:48:59,590 --> 00:49:04,260 Who's gonna stop him? 562 00:49:04,310 --> 00:49:06,560 Somebody will. 563 00:49:11,270 --> 00:49:13,350 Come on! 564 00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:20,460 Nately! Hey, Nately, wait for me! 565 00:51:21,230 --> 00:51:25,460 All right. I want to get this clear. 566 00:51:26,530 --> 00:51:31,450 As l see it, we're giving these men medals for doing a lousy job, right? 567 00:51:31,490 --> 00:51:33,710 That's not quite the situation. 568 00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:38,250 When I want you, I'll look at you, which will be as seldom as possible. 569 00:51:38,290 --> 00:51:40,540 - I can explain it. - You better. 570 00:51:40,590 --> 00:51:44,430 Yesterday's mission was to bomb a town called Ferrara. 571 00:51:44,470 --> 00:51:45,730 Ferrara? 572 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,690 - Why Ferrara? - What do you mean, "Why Ferrara?" 573 00:51:49,720 --> 00:51:53,980 - Do you know what Ferrara is? - It's a town on a hill. 574 00:51:54,020 --> 00:51:57,730 - Do you know what's in that town? - Five minutes to target. 575 00:51:57,770 --> 00:51:59,850 - What's in it? - Nothing. 576 00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:03,950 - What? - Nothing. No Germans, no munitions, 577 00:52:03,980 --> 00:52:07,610 no railroad crossing, no harbor, nothing. 578 00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:13,920 - Nothing at all? - No, except people. Italian people. 579 00:52:13,950 --> 00:52:16,200 And a monastery. 580 00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:21,140 Yossarian, maybe it's some kind of strategy thing. 581 00:52:22,210 --> 00:52:26,850 - What the hell are we doing? - It's not our business to ask. 582 00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,810 - Whose business is it? - Four minutes. 583 00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:33,390 - Are you ready to go in? - Get ready to dump. 584 00:52:33,430 --> 00:52:36,530 - We're not there yet! - Get away, Aardvark! 585 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:40,160 - You'll screw up the whole mission! - What's going on? 586 00:52:40,230 --> 00:52:42,990 - Get ready to turn! - What are you doing? 587 00:52:43,020 --> 00:52:46,200 - Cut it out, Yossarian! - Get ready to turn! 588 00:52:56,870 --> 00:53:00,380 A direct hit... on the ocean? 589 00:53:00,420 --> 00:53:03,300 Yes, sir. A marvelous bomb pattern. 590 00:53:03,340 --> 00:53:06,930 We have aerial photographs if you'd like to see them. 591 00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:11,880 We're decorating men who dropped 20 tons of very expensive bombs 592 00:53:11,930 --> 00:53:16,320 - on the Mediterranean? - If you consider the alternative... 593 00:53:16,350 --> 00:53:21,070 The alternative is that we take the whole crew out and shoot 'em. 594 00:53:21,100 --> 00:53:25,030 - Might be a problem there, sir. - All right, I know. 595 00:53:25,070 --> 00:53:29,700 If we can't shoot the sons of bitches, we can court-martial 'em, 596 00:53:29,740 --> 00:53:32,370 see that they rot in some stockade. 597 00:53:32,410 --> 00:53:37,750 Well, sir, we felt a court martial might get unavoidable publicity. 598 00:53:37,790 --> 00:53:42,540 If it got around that we used one of our missions to bomb the ocean... 599 00:53:42,580 --> 00:53:45,930 You don't have to say anything more, Colonel. 600 00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:50,300 Ho! Ten-hut! Right shoulder! 601 00:53:53,010 --> 00:53:54,760 Ten-hut! 602 00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:09,370 "For distinguished duty in the face of overwhelming" something... 603 00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:11,120 - Odds. - "..odds, 604 00:54:11,150 --> 00:54:15,210 "this Air Medal is awarded to Captain JS..." 605 00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:17,570 - McWatt. - "..McWatt." 606 00:54:22,620 --> 00:54:24,790 Come on, come on. 607 00:54:28,590 --> 00:54:32,270 All right, McWatt. What are you waiting for, a kiss? 608 00:54:32,300 --> 00:54:36,350 - Get back in there. - And on the double! 609 00:54:36,390 --> 00:54:38,690 "For meritorious action 610 00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:43,560 "in the face of concentrated enemy fire, Captain..." 611 00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:45,820 - What's this? - Come on, dumbo. 612 00:54:45,860 --> 00:54:48,700 - Yossarian, sir. - "Yossarian." 613 00:55:02,290 --> 00:55:05,410 Unless I miss my guess, Captain... 614 00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:09,960 you're out of uniform. 615 00:55:11,510 --> 00:55:14,390 What are you looking at? 616 00:55:14,430 --> 00:55:18,140 Get back in the car, you smirking slut. 617 00:55:24,310 --> 00:55:27,850 Why aren't you wearing clothes, Captain? 618 00:55:27,900 --> 00:55:33,240 - I don't want to. - What do you mean? Why don't you? 619 00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,580 I dunno, I just don't want to. 620 00:55:35,610 --> 00:55:39,670 - Why isn't he wearing clothes? - He's talking to you. 621 00:55:39,700 --> 00:55:43,880 - Why is he naked, Major? - Why is he naked, Sergeant? 622 00:55:43,910 --> 00:55:47,210 A man was killed in his plane and bled all over him. 623 00:55:47,250 --> 00:55:49,250 His clothes are in the laundry. 624 00:55:49,290 --> 00:55:52,810 - His other uniforms? - In the laundry, sir. 625 00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,770 - Where is his underwear? - In the laundry, sir. 626 00:55:57,930 --> 00:56:01,720 - That sounds like a lot of crap. - Lt is a lot of crap, sir. 627 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:05,140 Sir, on my word this man will be punished severely. 628 00:56:05,180 --> 00:56:08,110 What the hell do I care? 629 00:56:08,150 --> 00:56:11,660 If he wants to receive a medal without any clothes on, 630 00:56:11,690 --> 00:56:13,740 what business is it of yours? 631 00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:18,160 - My sentiments exactly, sir. - Here's your medal, Captain. 632 00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,780 You're a very weird person, Yossarian. 633 00:56:23,830 --> 00:56:25,090 Thank you, sir. 634 00:56:30,540 --> 00:56:32,710 - You are giving me this? - Yes. 635 00:56:32,750 --> 00:56:35,170 - Perché? - Because you're beautiful 636 00:56:35,210 --> 00:56:38,920 and because your name is Luciana - my mother's name. 637 00:56:38,970 --> 00:56:42,810 But my name is Eleonora Rosanna, I only call myself Luciana. 638 00:56:42,850 --> 00:56:46,110 Hey, my mother only called herself Luciana! 639 00:56:46,140 --> 00:56:48,480 Her real name was Eleonora Rosanna. 640 00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:52,480 - I don't believe you. - I don't blame you. 641 00:56:54,780 --> 00:56:57,360 What you get this for? 642 00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:00,370 - Will you believe the truth? - Yes. 643 00:57:00,410 --> 00:57:05,490 OK. I was awarded that particular medal for killing fish. 644 00:57:05,540 --> 00:57:10,590 - Oh. You have killed many fish? - Yes, I am one of the biggest... 645 00:57:10,620 --> 00:57:16,140 I am the most renowned killer of fish in the whole US Army Air Force. 646 00:57:16,170 --> 00:57:18,090 OK. 647 00:57:19,180 --> 00:57:22,770 I dance with you but I won't let you sleep with me. 648 00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:26,010 - Who asked you? - You don't want to sleep with me? 649 00:57:26,060 --> 00:57:29,490 - I don't wanna dance with you. - You crazy. 650 00:57:34,190 --> 00:57:38,240 - Watch where you put your hands, Gl. - My name is Yossarian. 651 00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,820 Watch where you put your hands, Yossarian. 652 00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,800 It's, uh... 653 00:59:11,830 --> 00:59:15,540 - What's his name, the new gunner? - 'Snowden.' 654 00:59:15,580 --> 00:59:17,670 Yeah. 655 00:59:20,380 --> 00:59:23,100 Snowden. 656 00:59:23,130 --> 00:59:25,020 I'm cold. 657 00:59:25,050 --> 00:59:28,510 OK. You're gonna be OK. 658 00:59:28,550 --> 00:59:31,570 I'm cold. Cold. 659 00:59:47,110 --> 00:59:50,710 - There. - Starting to hurt me. 660 00:59:50,740 --> 00:59:54,590 OK. Hang on, I’ll get you some morphine. 661 01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,610 Milo! 662 01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:28,080 - You prick! - Hi! What's up? 663 01:00:28,110 --> 01:00:32,040 Hey, it's good to see you. When did you get out of the hospital? 664 01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:34,380 We've got things to talk over. 665 01:00:34,410 --> 01:00:38,800 How you feeling? Sorry I didn't visit but I've been in Naples. 666 01:00:38,830 --> 01:00:41,880 - About that parachute... - What parachute? 667 01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,100 The one I use if I gotta jump out of the plane. 668 01:00:45,130 --> 01:00:48,760 Ah, that parachute. Remember that your parachute 669 01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:52,810 was just one of 60 parachutes taken over by the Syndicate. 670 01:00:52,850 --> 01:00:57,150 I don't care about the Syndicate. I don't want your tomatoes! 671 01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:00,810 They're the Syndicate's tomatoes. Our tomatoes. 672 01:01:00,860 --> 01:01:02,940 Just as these are our statues. 673 01:01:02,980 --> 01:01:07,120 In fact, that's where all the parachutes went. 674 01:01:07,150 --> 01:01:09,740 You traded my parachute for statues? 675 01:01:09,780 --> 01:01:13,320 No. I traded our diesel engines for the statues. 676 01:01:13,370 --> 01:01:16,710 - I don't have any engines! - Not "your", "our". 677 01:01:16,750 --> 01:01:19,760 I got the engines for two planeloads of lumber, 678 01:01:19,790 --> 01:01:22,260 100 pairs of shoes and the parachutes. 679 01:01:22,290 --> 01:01:26,090 The men aren't gonna be happy about what you're doing. 680 01:01:26,130 --> 01:01:30,470 Don't they understand? We're gonna come out of this war rich. 681 01:01:30,510 --> 01:01:34,360 You're gonna come out rich. We're gonna come out dead! 682 01:01:35,430 --> 01:01:39,110 - What does he want? - Who? 683 01:01:39,140 --> 01:01:41,230 Hungry Joe. 684 01:01:43,610 --> 01:01:47,040 - What is the matter? - I got a feeling. 685 01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:51,530 - I think it is. - What? 686 01:01:51,570 --> 01:01:53,570 - Come on. - What is it? 687 01:01:53,620 --> 01:01:57,630 I don't know but if it's what I think it is... 688 01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,080 It's just McWatt. 689 01:02:04,130 --> 01:02:07,500 He's been doing it for months. He's jealous of her. 690 01:02:07,550 --> 01:02:10,560 - She likes you better? - She likes him better. 691 01:02:10,590 --> 01:02:14,900 - Why doesn't she go out with him? - Because she can't stand him! 692 01:02:14,930 --> 01:02:16,930 - Good old McWatt. - Why? 693 01:02:16,970 --> 01:02:19,280 He's carrying me on his manifest. 694 01:02:19,310 --> 01:02:22,680 Every time he goes up, he files my name as a passenger. 695 01:02:22,730 --> 01:02:24,320 I can get my flight pay 696 01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:28,540 without having to do anything stupid like going up in a plane. 697 01:02:28,570 --> 01:02:31,610 - Look! - What is he saying? 698 01:02:33,110 --> 01:02:35,200 He's coming back! 699 01:02:55,930 --> 01:02:58,970 - Who was it? - Hungry Joe. 700 01:03:08,980 --> 01:03:13,900 We'll have to requisition a new photographer from Group. 701 01:03:13,950 --> 01:03:16,200 Is there... anything... 702 01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:19,530 I can do? 703 01:03:19,580 --> 01:03:21,910 McWatt's still up there. 704 01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:25,470 Doc Daneeka's up there, too. 705 01:03:26,540 --> 01:03:28,630 I'm right here. 706 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:31,960 Come on down, McWatt. 707 01:03:32,010 --> 01:03:36,680 Probably afraid to come down, he knows what kind of trouble he's in. 708 01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:42,900 - He cut his engine. - McWatt! 709 01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:49,120 Why doesn't Daneeka jump? He's got a chute. 710 01:03:49,150 --> 01:03:52,490 I'm right here, Sergeant. I'm not in the plane. 711 01:03:52,530 --> 01:03:54,690 Jump, Doc, jump! 712 01:03:55,780 --> 01:03:59,040 Jump. Jump, Doc... 713 01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:01,160 Please jump. 714 01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:06,510 Jump. Jump! 715 01:04:19,010 --> 01:04:21,100 Poor Hungry Joe. 716 01:04:22,810 --> 01:04:25,110 Poor McWatt. 717 01:04:25,140 --> 01:04:27,450 Poor Doc. 718 01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,690 Yeah. Poor Doc. 719 01:04:33,860 --> 01:04:37,620 I’ll need a full report on this, Captain Yossarian. 720 01:04:37,660 --> 01:04:42,740 Yossarian. I haven't seen you in some time. 721 01:04:44,660 --> 01:04:46,720 Not since... 722 01:04:49,130 --> 01:04:52,470 - Snowden's funeral. - Snowden. 723 01:04:56,800 --> 01:05:00,310 - Do you want to say something, sir? - What? 724 01:05:01,390 --> 01:05:05,100 I just wondered if you wanted to say anything. 725 01:05:05,140 --> 01:05:09,730 No, I didn't actually know the young fellow. 726 01:05:09,770 --> 01:05:14,860 It was his first mission. Did you know him, Danby? 727 01:05:14,900 --> 01:05:18,960 No, I don't think I ever heard the name. What was it? 728 01:05:18,990 --> 01:05:22,110 - Snowden, I think. - Oh, yes. 729 01:05:23,370 --> 01:05:27,160 Well, I’ll just read something. 730 01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:30,180 Yes, you... you do that. 731 01:05:33,630 --> 01:05:38,430 - Is something wrong? - No, I just thought I saw something. 732 01:05:41,220 --> 01:05:45,010 - A naked man in a tree? - Yes, that's it. 733 01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:53,350 - That's just Yossarian. - Oh. 734 01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:57,950 Oh. Well, in that case... 735 01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:04,790 "The... Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. 736 01:06:04,830 --> 01:06:08,170 "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures..." 737 01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:10,920 Hey! 738 01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:16,040 - I've been looking all over for you. - You should've looked in this tree. 739 01:06:16,090 --> 01:06:20,510 I don't want to butt in but why aren't you wearing your uniform? 740 01:06:20,550 --> 01:06:22,850 - I don't want to. - Aha. 741 01:06:22,890 --> 01:06:28,190 I want you to do something for me. I want to serve this to the men. 742 01:06:28,220 --> 01:06:31,350 Taste it and let me know what you think. 743 01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:37,730 - What is it? - Chocolate-covered cotton. 744 01:06:38,940 --> 01:06:41,030 - Are you crazy? - No good? 745 01:06:41,070 --> 01:06:43,240 You didn't take the seeds out! 746 01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:45,960 - Is it really that bad? - It's cotton! 747 01:06:45,990 --> 01:06:48,750 - They've got to learn to like it. - Why? 748 01:06:48,790 --> 01:06:53,050 I saw a chance to corner the market, I didn't know there'd be a glut. 749 01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:57,260 I've got warehouses full all over Europe. I can't get rid of it. 750 01:06:57,290 --> 01:07:00,890 People eat cotton candy. This is better, it's real cotton. 751 01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:05,340 - People can't eat cotton! - They've got to, for the Syndicate. 752 01:07:05,390 --> 01:07:09,570 It will make them sick. Try it yourself if you don't believe me. 753 01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:12,780 I did and it made me sick. 754 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:17,940 Look at that. Looks like a funeral. 755 01:07:17,980 --> 01:07:20,990 It's that kid that got killed in my plane. 756 01:07:21,030 --> 01:07:25,290 - Oh? What happened to him? - He got killed. 757 01:07:26,700 --> 01:07:30,460 - What? - I said he got killed. 758 01:07:30,490 --> 01:07:32,800 I'm sorry. 759 01:07:36,210 --> 01:07:40,220 - He was your friend? - Maybe, I don't know. 760 01:07:42,550 --> 01:07:45,670 - He was very old. - But he was a boy. 761 01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:49,150 Well, he died. You don't get any older than that. 762 01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:03,570 - Where do you work? - I'm not a whore. 763 01:08:03,610 --> 01:08:05,690 I didn't say you were. 764 01:08:05,740 --> 01:08:09,110 - I work in big American company. - Me, too! 765 01:08:10,990 --> 01:08:13,240 - You want to see me again? - Mm. 766 01:08:13,290 --> 01:08:16,050 - Why? - Why not? 767 01:08:17,210 --> 01:08:19,380 You think I'm beautiful? 768 01:08:19,420 --> 01:08:23,050 - I think you're perfect. - That's not true. 769 01:08:23,090 --> 01:08:25,480 - Lt is true. - No. 770 01:08:26,090 --> 01:08:28,560 See this? 771 01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:33,010 - Jesus, how did you...? - Air raid. 772 01:08:34,100 --> 01:08:37,390 - Germans? - Americani. 773 01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:49,170 You do not want me now? 774 01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:52,790 What are you talking about? I want you everything. 775 01:08:52,830 --> 01:08:55,300 - I want you to marry me. - You crazy. 776 01:08:55,330 --> 01:08:57,880 - Why? - You can't want to marry me. 777 01:08:57,920 --> 01:09:00,590 - Why not? - I'm not a virgin. 778 01:09:00,630 --> 01:09:03,470 - So? - Nobody wants a girl who isn't. 779 01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:07,210 - I do. I wanna marry you. - Not possible. 780 01:09:07,260 --> 01:09:09,430 - Why not? - Because you crazy. 781 01:09:09,470 --> 01:09:12,360 - Why am I crazy? - Because you want to marry me. 782 01:09:12,390 --> 01:09:17,560 You won't marry me because I'm crazy, I'm crazy because I wanna marry you? 783 01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:19,940 - You're crazy. - Why? 784 01:09:21,060 --> 01:09:25,450 Because I love you. Ti amo. Ti amo molto. 785 01:09:26,490 --> 01:09:30,080 How can you love a girl who is not a virgin? 786 01:09:30,110 --> 01:09:32,580 Because I can't marry you. 787 01:09:32,620 --> 01:09:36,050 Why you can't marry me? Because I'm not a virgin? 788 01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:38,160 No, because you're crazy! 789 01:09:38,210 --> 01:09:40,180 - You crazy! - You're crazy! 790 01:09:41,580 --> 01:09:44,140 - You all crazy! - Why are we crazy? 791 01:09:44,170 --> 01:09:47,350 Because you don't know how to stay alive 792 01:09:47,380 --> 01:09:50,020 and that's the secret of life. 793 01:09:50,050 --> 01:09:52,220 But we have a war to win. 794 01:09:52,260 --> 01:09:56,650 Ah. But America will lose the war. Italy will win it. 795 01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:59,690 America's the strongest nation on earth. 796 01:09:59,730 --> 01:10:04,730 The American fighter is the best trained, best equipped, best fed... 797 01:10:04,770 --> 01:10:09,610 Exactly. Italy, however, is one of the weakest nations on earth 798 01:10:09,650 --> 01:10:14,790 and the Italian fighting man is hardly equipped at all. 799 01:10:14,830 --> 01:10:19,880 That's why my country is doing so well while yours is doing so poorly. 800 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:24,140 That's silly! Italy was occupied by the Germans 801 01:10:24,170 --> 01:10:26,250 and is now being occupied by us. 802 01:10:26,300 --> 01:10:29,140 - You call that doing well? - Of course I do. 803 01:10:29,170 --> 01:10:33,020 The Germans are being driven out and we are still here. 804 01:10:33,050 --> 01:10:36,730 In a few years, you'll be gone and we'll still be here. 805 01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:39,940 You see, Italy is a very poor, weak country, 806 01:10:39,980 --> 01:10:43,320 yet that is what makes us so strong, 807 01:10:43,350 --> 01:10:49,200 strong enough to survive this war and still be in existence 808 01:10:49,240 --> 01:10:52,500 long after your country has been destroyed. 809 01:10:52,530 --> 01:10:55,880 What are you saying? America won't be destroyed. 810 01:10:55,910 --> 01:10:59,700 - Never? - Well... 811 01:10:59,750 --> 01:11:03,040 Rome was destroyed. Greece was destroyed. 812 01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:07,040 Persia was destroyed. Spain was destroyed. 813 01:11:07,090 --> 01:11:11,980 All great countries are destroyed. Why not yours? 814 01:11:12,010 --> 01:11:16,560 How much longer do you think your country will last? 815 01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:18,260 Forever? 816 01:11:22,810 --> 01:11:26,350 Well, forever is a long time, I guess. 817 01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:28,280 Very long. 818 01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:30,870 Ciao. 819 01:11:31,990 --> 01:11:35,860 - Please, we're talking. - We go to bed now? 820 01:11:35,910 --> 01:11:40,960 No. Would you go put some clothes on? You're practically naked. 821 01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,720 Mmm! 822 01:11:43,750 --> 01:11:46,760 I wish she wouldn't walk around like that. 823 01:11:46,790 --> 01:11:50,000 But it is her business to walk around like that. 824 01:11:50,050 --> 01:11:53,390 - But it's not nice. - Of course it's nice. 825 01:11:53,420 --> 01:11:55,890 Mmm, she's nice to look at. 826 01:11:56,970 --> 01:12:01,110 This life is not nice. I don't want her to do this. 827 01:12:01,140 --> 01:12:05,450 - When we go to America? - When we go to America? 828 01:12:05,480 --> 01:12:10,950 You will take her to America? Away from a healthy, active life? 829 01:12:10,980 --> 01:12:16,460 Away from good business opportunities? Away from her friends? 830 01:12:16,490 --> 01:12:20,910 - Don't you have any principles? - Of course not. 831 01:12:20,950 --> 01:12:25,170 - No morality? - I’m a very moral man. 832 01:12:25,210 --> 01:12:29,050 And Italy is a very moral country. 833 01:12:29,090 --> 01:12:33,100 That's why we will certainly come out on top again 834 01:12:33,130 --> 01:12:36,340 if we succeed in being defeated. 835 01:12:36,380 --> 01:12:38,350 You talk like a madman. 836 01:12:38,390 --> 01:12:41,650 But I live like a sane one. 837 01:12:43,770 --> 01:12:46,780 I was a Fascist when Mussolini was on top. 838 01:12:46,810 --> 01:12:51,030 Now that he has been deposed, I am anti-Fascist. 839 01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:56,620 When the Germans were here, I was fanatically pro-German. 840 01:12:56,650 --> 01:12:59,370 Now I'm fanatically pro-America! 841 01:13:00,700 --> 01:13:05,790 You'll find no more loyal partisan in all of Italy than myself. 842 01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:09,630 You're a shameful opportunist! 843 01:13:09,670 --> 01:13:13,810 It's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. 844 01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:16,420 You have it backwards. 845 01:13:16,470 --> 01:13:20,730 It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. 846 01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:25,350 - I know. - How do you know? 847 01:13:25,390 --> 01:13:29,350 Because I am 107 years old. 848 01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:34,620 How old are you? 849 01:13:35,690 --> 01:13:37,660 I'll be 20 in January. 850 01:13:38,820 --> 01:13:41,320 If you live. 851 01:13:47,710 --> 01:13:51,170 - Ciao, Yossarian. - Hiya, how are ya? 852 01:13:51,210 --> 01:13:54,970 We gotta go back. All the leaves have been cancelled. 853 01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,720 - Ciao, Yossarian. - Hello, my dear. 854 01:13:57,760 --> 01:14:01,770 You give me a dollar? I pay you back when we get to America. 855 01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:06,720 OK. Just one. Just one. One! Gimme that. Here. 856 01:14:06,770 --> 01:14:09,690 Come on, Dobbs. Milo's gonna fly us back. 857 01:14:09,730 --> 01:14:12,820 - Why are the leaves cancelled? - I don't know. 858 01:14:12,860 --> 01:14:15,950 Milo says the base is on some kind of alert. 859 01:14:15,980 --> 01:14:19,780 Oh, yeah. Cathcart raised the number of missions to 80. 860 01:14:19,820 --> 01:14:21,650 - 80! - Yeah. 861 01:14:21,700 --> 01:14:25,460 He's mad because Captain Orr lost another airplane. 862 01:14:25,490 --> 01:14:27,160 Where? 863 01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:31,540 Ditched coming back from Bologna, went down in the Mediterranean. 864 01:14:31,580 --> 01:14:33,720 Air-Sea Rescue out there? 865 01:14:35,090 --> 01:14:36,750 Yeah. 866 01:14:36,800 --> 01:14:39,300 They picked up everybody but Orr. 867 01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:54,950 Will you fellas stay away from the airstrip tonight? 868 01:14:56,020 --> 01:14:59,730 - What for? - Just do as I say. 869 01:15:00,820 --> 01:15:04,080 - Stay in your tents. - Why? 870 01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:08,490 - There it is. - What? 871 01:15:08,540 --> 01:15:10,840 Orr's plane! 872 01:15:12,420 --> 01:15:16,130 Oh, he'll find his way back. He always does. 873 01:15:16,170 --> 01:15:18,250 He'll turn up, 874 01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:21,590 he'll sneak in with that rat-toothed giggle. 875 01:15:24,010 --> 01:15:28,680 Aarfy, if anything happens to me, will you take care of my girl? 876 01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:30,890 Listen to him, "his" girl! 877 01:15:30,930 --> 01:15:33,020 - Yossarian? - Don't worry. 878 01:15:33,060 --> 01:15:37,620 Nothing's gonna happen to you that won't happen to the rest of us. 879 01:15:50,490 --> 01:15:52,460 'Orr? 880 01:15:53,540 --> 01:15:55,620 'Orr?' 881 01:15:56,790 --> 01:15:58,930 Orr? 882 01:16:01,260 --> 01:16:03,510 Orr. 883 01:16:04,590 --> 01:16:09,150 - I'll be through in a minute. - No, you won't. You always say that, 884 01:16:09,180 --> 01:16:13,850 then I watch you fit some tiny thing into that masterpiece of junk. 885 01:16:13,890 --> 01:16:18,900 - Then I guess you haven't seen it. - You guess I haven't seen what? 886 01:16:18,940 --> 01:16:23,040 A little square gasket, about this big. 887 01:16:23,070 --> 01:16:24,900 - Have you seen it? - No. 888 01:16:24,950 --> 01:16:29,370 - I'll have to start all over again. - Please don't do that. 889 01:16:29,410 --> 01:16:33,040 - Why? - Lt gives me a terrible pain. 890 01:16:33,080 --> 01:16:36,370 - Why? - Why what? 891 01:16:36,420 --> 01:16:38,500 Why won't you fly with me? 892 01:16:38,540 --> 01:16:42,810 What's that got to do with the pain that you and your bolts give me? 893 01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:45,340 It's got everything to do with it. 894 01:16:45,380 --> 01:16:47,800 Are you trying to tell me something? 895 01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:51,980 Just that if you were smart, you'd fly with me. 896 01:16:52,010 --> 01:16:55,530 - You've cracked up three planes. - Four. 897 01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:57,450 I'm a good pilot. 898 01:16:57,480 --> 01:17:00,770 - I don't want to end up in the sea. - You'd thank me. 899 01:17:00,820 --> 01:17:04,110 - For getting me drowned? - For finishing this stove. 900 01:17:04,150 --> 01:17:07,500 Winter's coming. You'll have heat, hot water... 901 01:17:07,530 --> 01:17:10,740 You'll be able to boil eggs and everything. 902 01:17:10,780 --> 01:17:15,790 - Me? Where are you gonna be? - I dunno. Here and there. 903 01:17:15,830 --> 01:17:20,050 No one wants to fly with you. You're a one-man disaster area. 904 01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:24,010 - They're crazy. - I agree with them. 905 01:17:24,050 --> 01:17:26,130 You're crazy. 906 01:17:55,040 --> 01:17:57,450 Orr? 907 01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:23,480 Orr? 908 01:18:56,760 --> 01:18:58,430 Orr? 909 01:18:58,470 --> 01:19:01,320 - He's dead. - Who's "he"? 910 01:19:01,350 --> 01:19:03,660 He's just a kid from my home town. 911 01:19:03,690 --> 01:19:07,120 He just died. They came from the States to see him. 912 01:19:07,150 --> 01:19:09,870 - Get in the bed, will you? - What? 913 01:19:09,900 --> 01:19:14,540 His mother, father and brother flew out here. They know he's dying. 914 01:19:14,570 --> 01:19:17,620 - So what do you want me to do? - Be him. 915 01:19:17,660 --> 01:19:20,870 Just for a few minutes, then they'll go away. 916 01:19:20,910 --> 01:19:24,460 They came 5,000 miles to see you before you die. 917 01:19:24,500 --> 01:19:27,760 - I'm not dying. - Of course you are, we all are. 918 01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:31,060 Doc, they'll know! They came to see their son. 919 01:19:31,090 --> 01:19:33,260 They'll have to take what they can get. 920 01:19:33,300 --> 01:19:36,480 One dying boy is as good as another. Or as bad! 921 01:19:36,510 --> 01:19:39,770 - Lt won't work. - Look, they've come a long way. 922 01:19:39,810 --> 01:19:44,200 I don't wanna disappoint them. I'm sentimental about old people. 923 01:19:44,230 --> 01:19:48,560 - What if they start crying? - They probably will start crying. 924 01:19:48,610 --> 01:19:53,830 I'll wait outside and if it gets sticky, I'll come in and break it up. 925 01:19:55,240 --> 01:19:57,320 I don't think it's gonna work. 926 01:19:57,370 --> 01:20:00,660 Look, do this for me and I'll do something for you. 927 01:20:00,700 --> 01:20:03,630 - Will you ground me? - You know I can't. 928 01:20:03,660 --> 01:20:07,890 You can write a slip saying I'm on the verge of a nervous collapse. 929 01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:09,840 Sure I can. 930 01:20:19,180 --> 01:20:21,480 But there's a catch. 931 01:20:23,600 --> 01:20:28,240 - Catch-22. - Group won't approve my action. 932 01:20:28,270 --> 01:20:30,610 They'll put you back on combat status 933 01:20:30,650 --> 01:20:33,150 and send me to rot in the Pacific Ocean. 934 01:20:33,190 --> 01:20:35,330 God, here they are. 935 01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:37,110 Start dying. 936 01:20:37,160 --> 01:20:41,250 Do this for me and I'll send you to Rome on a five-day R and R. 937 01:20:59,050 --> 01:21:01,190 He looks terrible. 938 01:21:01,220 --> 01:21:04,520 - He's sick, Pa. - Harvey? 939 01:21:06,480 --> 01:21:08,390 My name is Yossarian. 940 01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:10,940 His name is Yossarian, Ma. 941 01:21:12,270 --> 01:21:16,120 Yossarian, don't you recognize me? 942 01:21:16,150 --> 01:21:20,250 I'm your brother John. Don't you know who I am? 943 01:21:20,280 --> 01:21:24,240 - Sure I do. You're my brother John. - Pa, he knows me. 944 01:21:24,290 --> 01:21:29,460 Yossarian, look, here's Papa. Say hello to Papa. 945 01:21:29,500 --> 01:21:32,600 - Hello, Papa. - Hello, Harvey. 946 01:21:32,630 --> 01:21:36,220 - His name is Yossarian, Pa. - He looks so bad. 947 01:21:36,260 --> 01:21:40,190 He's very sick, Pa. The doctor says he's gonna die. 948 01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:45,650 - Harvey? - Ma, his name is Yossarian. 949 01:21:46,730 --> 01:21:50,070 She doesn't remember things too good any more. 950 01:21:50,100 --> 01:21:54,660 It's OK. She can call me Harvey if she wants to. 951 01:21:56,150 --> 01:21:58,620 Harvey. 952 01:21:58,650 --> 01:22:00,740 Psst. 953 01:22:03,950 --> 01:22:07,080 Don't worry. Everything's gonna be all right. 954 01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:09,420 I know. 955 01:22:13,250 --> 01:22:15,500 We came all the way from New York. 956 01:22:15,550 --> 01:22:18,980 We were afraid we wouldn't get here in time. 957 01:22:19,010 --> 01:22:23,510 - In time for what? - In time to see you before you died. 958 01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:27,180 What difference would it make? 959 01:22:27,220 --> 01:22:30,650 We didn't want you to die by yourself. 960 01:22:30,690 --> 01:22:33,020 What difference would it make? 961 01:22:33,060 --> 01:22:37,240 He's getting delirious, he keeps repeating the same thing. 962 01:22:37,280 --> 01:22:41,210 - Harvey. - It's not Harvey, it's Yossarian. 963 01:22:41,240 --> 01:22:44,250 What difference does it make? He's dying. 964 01:23:11,020 --> 01:23:15,120 Listen, kid. It's-it's not bad. 965 01:23:19,030 --> 01:23:21,750 I'm gonna put a tourniquet on it. 966 01:23:54,940 --> 01:23:59,940 There. It's good. It's a good bandage. 967 01:23:59,980 --> 01:24:02,540 I'm cold. 968 01:24:02,570 --> 01:24:05,290 Cold. God. 969 01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:09,990 It's gonna be OK, kid. We'll be home soon. 970 01:24:21,760 --> 01:24:24,520 - Does the leg still hurt? - No. 971 01:24:30,970 --> 01:24:32,440 'Hey, Yossarian?' 972 01:24:34,140 --> 01:24:37,770 - You in there? - Orr? 973 01:24:37,810 --> 01:24:42,290 - Is that Orr, you son of a bitch? - It's me, Nately. 974 01:24:42,320 --> 01:24:46,160 Nately. What's happening? Jesus, it's 3:30 in the morning. 975 01:24:46,200 --> 01:24:50,870 It's Dobbs, we've gotta stop him. He's gonna kill the Colonel. 976 01:24:50,910 --> 01:24:53,160 - Cathcart? - Yes. 977 01:24:53,200 --> 01:24:55,840 Dobbs is gonna kill Colonel Cathcart? 978 01:25:34,660 --> 01:25:36,800 What's the matter with you? 979 01:25:36,830 --> 01:25:39,630 Nothing. It's the first sane thing I've ever done. 980 01:25:39,670 --> 01:25:43,540 - They'll get you for murder! - Cathcart's the murderer! 981 01:25:43,590 --> 01:25:46,850 - Come on, gimme the gun! - Take it easy. 982 01:25:46,880 --> 01:25:50,310 - You just got a few more missions. - You're crazy! 983 01:25:50,340 --> 01:25:53,470 He'll raise the number again and you know it! 984 01:25:53,510 --> 01:25:56,860 He'll keep us flying missions till we're all dead. 985 01:25:56,890 --> 01:25:58,980 What the hell do you care? 986 01:25:59,020 --> 01:26:02,730 You don't wanna go home, you're in love with that whore. 987 01:26:02,770 --> 01:26:05,660 You happen to be talking about my fiancée. 988 01:26:05,690 --> 01:26:08,820 The fiancée of any guy with ten bucks, 989 01:26:08,860 --> 01:26:11,360 who's happy to risk a dose of disease 990 01:26:11,410 --> 01:26:15,000 for 15 minutes of phoney moans on a dirty mattress! 991 01:26:16,080 --> 01:26:18,630 Nately! 992 01:26:28,590 --> 01:26:31,010 Nately? Nately! 993 01:26:33,510 --> 01:26:38,100 Yossarian... I think I hurt him. 994 01:26:46,320 --> 01:26:48,820 Aw, he'll be all right. 995 01:26:48,860 --> 01:26:52,210 Here he comes! 996 01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:54,460 - Gimme the gun! - No, listen! 997 01:26:54,490 --> 01:26:58,760 If he raises the number again, I swear I'll help you kill him! 998 01:26:58,790 --> 01:27:01,260 - Really? - I swear it. 999 01:27:01,290 --> 01:27:03,970 That's very reasonable of you. 1000 01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:07,630 - Something's going on. - What? 1001 01:27:07,670 --> 01:27:10,960 Milo and the Colonel are up to something. 1002 01:27:11,010 --> 01:27:12,760 They've been planning. 1003 01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:15,610 - What's he doing? - Something. I dunno. 1004 01:27:26,610 --> 01:27:30,290 Why didn't they turn their lights on? What the fuck? 1005 01:27:37,790 --> 01:27:39,840 Yossarian, listen! 1006 01:27:42,750 --> 01:27:46,890 - What is this? - Look! 1007 01:27:53,380 --> 01:27:55,850 Jesus Christ! 1008 01:27:55,890 --> 01:27:59,320 Run, run, run! 1009 01:28:16,990 --> 01:28:19,210 OK, Number 1 and 2, that was good. 1010 01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:21,330 'Thank you. What now?' 1011 01:28:21,370 --> 01:28:25,470 Bank left and wait for instructions. All right, Number 3. 1012 01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:29,760 Be careful not to hit our storehouses at the end of the field. 1013 01:28:29,800 --> 01:28:34,430 Direct hit on the mess hall, if you please. And Number 3... 1014 01:28:34,470 --> 01:28:37,440 Hold on, Number 3. 1015 01:28:37,470 --> 01:28:40,360 - Yossarian, get off the field. - What? 1016 01:28:40,390 --> 01:28:44,610 'Take cover. You, too, Dobbs. Number 3, let 'em go.' 1017 01:28:50,980 --> 01:28:52,950 Bastards! Get out of here! 1018 01:28:52,990 --> 01:28:56,580 'Cut that out. Those are our men you're shooting at. 1019 01:28:56,610 --> 01:28:59,460 'This is an M&M Enterprises operation. 1020 01:29:03,200 --> 01:29:06,630 'Number 4 and 5, Number 3 did not get those supply sheds. 1021 01:29:06,670 --> 01:29:10,890 'I told you men to come in low. Right on target this time. 1022 01:29:10,920 --> 01:29:13,220 'Shoddy work will not do.' 1023 01:29:16,590 --> 01:29:18,900 Dobbs! 1024 01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:34,160 What are you doing, Yossarian? Get off the field! 1025 01:29:37,320 --> 01:29:41,380 You're confined to the base. I won't forget this. 1026 01:29:41,410 --> 01:29:45,550 - The Air Force won't forget this. - Don't be ridiculous! 1027 01:29:45,580 --> 01:29:48,760 What's good for M&M is good for the Air Force. 1028 01:29:48,790 --> 01:29:52,750 - There goes the bomb dump! - We had to get rid of that cotton. 1029 01:29:52,800 --> 01:29:57,270 The Germans promised to take it off us if we ran this mission for them. 1030 01:29:57,300 --> 01:30:01,400 - It's all part of the deal. - There goes the Officers Club! 1031 01:30:01,430 --> 01:30:03,900 You made a deal to bomb our own base? 1032 01:30:03,930 --> 01:30:08,240 A contract is a contract. That's what we're fighting for. 1033 01:30:08,270 --> 01:30:12,200 'Lieutenant Minderbinder speaking. Clear the field! 1034 01:30:12,230 --> 01:30:16,790 - 'We will soon begin to strafe.' - Strafe? 1035 01:30:16,820 --> 01:30:21,080 - It's all part of the contract. - There goes Headquarters! 1036 01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:28,830 Nately! 1037 01:30:30,170 --> 01:30:32,250 Nately! 1038 01:30:33,000 --> 01:30:35,090 Nately! 1039 01:30:40,260 --> 01:30:42,340 Nately! 1040 01:30:48,180 --> 01:30:50,270 Nately! 1041 01:30:51,810 --> 01:30:53,560 What's that? 1042 01:30:53,610 --> 01:30:56,410 - He said, "Nately". - Nately is dead. 1043 01:30:56,440 --> 01:30:59,490 - I know. - Who's dead? 1044 01:30:59,530 --> 01:31:03,160 You will be if we don't get at that knife wound. 1045 01:31:03,200 --> 01:31:06,290 - What's happening? - We're going to operate. 1046 01:31:06,330 --> 01:31:08,740 We're gonna take a look inside you. 1047 01:31:08,790 --> 01:31:11,880 We're gonna clean you out and stitch you up. 1048 01:31:14,420 --> 01:31:19,590 - Hey! Yossarian! - Hmm? 1049 01:31:19,630 --> 01:31:23,480 - We've got your pal. - Hmm? 1050 01:31:23,510 --> 01:31:27,610 You heard me. We've got your pal. 1051 01:31:28,680 --> 01:31:30,650 Who... who's my pal? Who? 1052 01:31:30,680 --> 01:31:33,860 - What's he saying? - Something about his pal. 1053 01:31:33,900 --> 01:31:37,910 - Who's his pal? - I don't know, maybe it's Nately. 1054 01:31:37,940 --> 01:31:39,290 Nately's dead. 1055 01:31:57,290 --> 01:32:01,390 I wouldn't go in there. Looks like something's happened. 1056 01:32:01,420 --> 01:32:06,060 Well, I gotta go find Nately's whore. I gotta tell her he's dead. 1057 01:32:11,480 --> 01:32:13,360 Wanna come with me? 1058 01:32:13,390 --> 01:32:17,160 Not now. I promised her some stockings and cigarettes. 1059 01:32:17,190 --> 01:32:21,580 For her family. I know them. First-class people. 1060 01:32:21,610 --> 01:32:25,870 - OK. I'll see you later. - Sure. 1061 01:32:35,500 --> 01:32:39,460 - Andiamo. - Yes, we're going. Up to my room. 1062 01:32:42,050 --> 01:32:44,550 You better get off the streets soon. 1063 01:32:44,590 --> 01:32:48,100 It's almost curfew, you don't even have a pass. 1064 01:33:21,920 --> 01:33:26,230 - What happened? - Gone. All gone. 1065 01:33:26,260 --> 01:33:29,300 - Who? - All the poor young girls. 1066 01:33:29,350 --> 01:33:32,320 All gone. Taken away. 1067 01:33:33,430 --> 01:33:37,450 - Who took 'em away? - The white-hats. 1068 01:33:37,480 --> 01:33:42,370 - The white-hats... The MPs? - Yes, the MPs. 1069 01:33:45,280 --> 01:33:47,780 Where did they take 'em? 1070 01:33:47,820 --> 01:33:50,290 Who knows? All gone. 1071 01:33:55,540 --> 01:33:58,720 - Where's the old man? - Gone. 1072 01:33:58,750 --> 01:34:02,180 - Gone where? - Dead. 1073 01:34:02,210 --> 01:34:04,040 What? 1074 01:34:04,090 --> 01:34:07,930 He was alive one minute, then he was dead. 1075 01:34:07,970 --> 01:34:11,340 - He can't be. - Why not? 1076 01:34:19,190 --> 01:34:22,700 Where did they take the girls? Did they arrest them? 1077 01:34:22,730 --> 01:34:26,910 I don't know. They just came in and took them. 1078 01:34:28,610 --> 01:34:33,120 They must have had a reason. They couldn't just drag them away. 1079 01:34:33,160 --> 01:34:35,240 No reason. 1080 01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:40,540 - What right did they have? - Catch-22. 1081 01:34:51,890 --> 01:34:54,300 What? What did you say? 1082 01:34:54,350 --> 01:34:56,650 Catch-22. 1083 01:35:06,570 --> 01:35:09,200 How do you know it was Catch-22? 1084 01:35:09,240 --> 01:35:13,630 The girls said, "Why are you taking us away?" 1085 01:35:13,660 --> 01:35:16,540 The men said, "Catch-22." 1086 01:35:16,580 --> 01:35:20,260 The girls said, "What right do you have?" 1087 01:35:20,290 --> 01:35:22,930 The men said, "Catch-22." 1088 01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:27,850 All they kept saying was, "Catch-22, Catch-22." 1089 01:35:27,880 --> 01:35:30,130 What does it mean? 1090 01:35:30,170 --> 01:35:33,600 Didn't they show you? Didn't you ask them to read it? 1091 01:35:33,640 --> 01:35:37,860 - They don't have to show it to us. - Who says so? 1092 01:35:37,890 --> 01:35:41,770 - The law says so. - What law? 1093 01:35:41,810 --> 01:35:43,890 Catch-22. 1094 01:37:24,660 --> 01:37:27,160 Milo! Milo! 1095 01:37:29,420 --> 01:37:33,890 Milo, I'm gonna kill you, you murdering son of a bitch! 1096 01:37:35,550 --> 01:37:37,220 Easy, don't hurt him. 1097 01:37:37,260 --> 01:37:40,440 I know how you feel but it wasn't my fault. 1098 01:37:40,470 --> 01:37:42,720 - Whose fault was it? - No one's. 1099 01:37:42,770 --> 01:37:45,890 Nately was the victim of economic pressures, 1100 01:37:45,940 --> 01:37:50,120 - the laws of supply and demand. - You unbelievable bastard! 1101 01:37:55,900 --> 01:37:58,830 - Do you want me to take you to her? - Who? 1102 01:37:58,860 --> 01:38:02,070 Nately's whore, isn't that who you're looking for? 1103 01:38:02,120 --> 01:38:05,050 - Do you know where she is? - Of course I do. 1104 01:38:22,260 --> 01:38:26,600 You're AWOL, Yossarian. I thought you knew better than that. 1105 01:38:26,640 --> 01:38:30,190 - Nately would never be that dumb. - He's dead. 1106 01:38:30,230 --> 01:38:34,160 - Too bad. He was nice. - Your boys made a nice direct hit. 1107 01:38:34,190 --> 01:38:37,290 But he died rich - 60 shares in the Syndicate. 1108 01:38:37,320 --> 01:38:40,000 - So? He's dead. - His family'll get it. 1109 01:38:40,030 --> 01:38:43,160 - He didn't have one. - His parents'll get it. 1110 01:38:43,200 --> 01:38:47,620 - They don't need it, they're rich. - Then they'll understand. 1111 01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:55,130 Ask for number 33. 1112 01:39:56,610 --> 01:39:58,770 Hello, Yossarian. 1113 01:40:02,530 --> 01:40:05,500 - I didn't know. - That I work for Milo? 1114 01:40:05,530 --> 01:40:08,000 Everybody works for Milo. 1115 01:40:08,040 --> 01:40:13,040 Yeah. Well, he told me to ask for number 33. 1116 01:40:13,080 --> 01:40:15,470 Mm-hm. 33? 1117 01:40:20,720 --> 01:40:22,800 $10, please. 1118 01:40:29,470 --> 01:40:31,720 No towel, Yossarian? 1119 01:40:45,110 --> 01:40:48,240 - Hello, Yossarian. - Hi, kid. 1120 01:40:54,750 --> 01:40:57,680 - Where's your sister? - In there. 1121 01:40:57,710 --> 01:40:59,960 - You give me a dollar? - Yeah. 1122 01:41:00,000 --> 01:41:03,350 - We go to America soon? - Sure, kid. 1123 01:41:11,100 --> 01:41:13,650 - Ciao, Yossarian. - Hi. 1124 01:41:13,680 --> 01:41:17,610 - You make love now? - No, no. Listen. 1125 01:41:17,650 --> 01:41:21,520 - Uh, I have to tell you something. - Nately? 1126 01:41:21,570 --> 01:41:23,290 Yeah. 1127 01:41:23,320 --> 01:41:25,210 He's coming? 1128 01:41:25,240 --> 01:41:27,320 Uh, no, not exactly. 1129 01:41:28,910 --> 01:41:33,960 - We go to America soon? - Yeah. Listen... 1130 01:41:34,000 --> 01:41:37,040 - When we go? - Listen... 1131 01:41:40,500 --> 01:41:42,840 Nately's dead. 1132 01:41:46,050 --> 01:41:48,940 Bruto. Bruto! 1133 01:41:50,010 --> 01:41:53,220 - T'ammazzo! T'ammazzo! - Lt wasn't me! 1134 01:41:55,980 --> 01:41:58,200 It's not my fault! 1135 01:41:58,230 --> 01:42:01,740 - T'ammazzo! - He was my friend, you dumb bitch! 1136 01:42:07,030 --> 01:42:11,450 T'ammazzo! T'ammazzo! T'ammazzo! 1137 01:42:21,880 --> 01:42:26,350 Assassino! Assassino! 1138 01:45:40,660 --> 01:45:44,540 - I only raped her once. - You killed her! 1139 01:45:44,580 --> 01:45:49,300 I had to after that. She couldn't go round saying bad things about me. 1140 01:45:49,340 --> 01:45:53,130 You dumb bastard! Why not get some girl off the streets? 1141 01:45:53,170 --> 01:45:56,970 Oh, no, not me. I never paid for it in my life. 1142 01:45:59,890 --> 01:46:03,760 Come on, get back! Back up, folks. 1143 01:46:12,230 --> 01:46:16,410 Aarfy, are you insane? They're gonna throw you in jail. 1144 01:46:17,780 --> 01:46:21,240 You just killed a girl. She's lying in the street! 1145 01:46:21,280 --> 01:46:25,300 She has no right to be there, you know. It's after curfew. 1146 01:46:38,050 --> 01:46:41,180 Don't you realise what you've done? 1147 01:46:41,220 --> 01:46:44,930 You've murdered a human being! They can hang you! 1148 01:46:44,970 --> 01:46:48,850 I don't think they'll do that, not to good old Aarfy. 1149 01:46:48,890 --> 01:46:53,780 They won't care about one Italian girl when thousands die every day. 1150 01:46:53,820 --> 01:46:56,940 Aarfy, listen. They're coming to arrest you. 1151 01:46:56,990 --> 01:47:00,950 You can't take the life of another human and get away with it! 1152 01:47:00,990 --> 01:47:05,380 They're coming to get you! 1153 01:47:16,130 --> 01:47:18,430 - Captain Yossarian? - Yes? 1154 01:47:18,470 --> 01:47:21,310 - You're under arrest. - But I didn't... 1155 01:47:22,390 --> 01:47:24,610 You're AWOL. 1156 01:47:29,140 --> 01:47:32,070 'We're sending you home.' 'What?' 1157 01:47:33,770 --> 01:47:36,410 I said we're sending you home. 1158 01:47:36,440 --> 01:47:41,450 You've made things terribly difficult for Colonel Cathcart. 1159 01:47:41,490 --> 01:47:45,670 The men are unhappy, morale is beginning to deteriorate. 1160 01:47:45,700 --> 01:47:49,710 - It's all your fault. - It's his, for raising the number. 1161 01:47:49,750 --> 01:47:53,800 - You refuse to fly. - Have you no patriotism? 1162 01:47:53,830 --> 01:47:58,250 Wouldn't you give your life for your country? For Colonel Korn and me? 1163 01:47:58,300 --> 01:48:01,810 What have you and Colonel Korn got to do with my country? 1164 01:48:01,840 --> 01:48:06,260 You're a disgrace to your country! How did you get to be a captain? 1165 01:48:06,310 --> 01:48:10,690 - You promoted me. - That has got nothing to do with it! 1166 01:48:10,730 --> 01:48:13,740 Let me. Let me. 1167 01:48:13,770 --> 01:48:19,020 Captain, I'd like to appeal to your better judgment one more time. 1168 01:48:19,070 --> 01:48:23,400 There's a mission about to start. You can get on that plane 1169 01:48:23,450 --> 01:48:27,380 and we'll just pretend that all of this never happened. 1170 01:48:27,410 --> 01:48:32,550 Yossarian, won't it make you feel proud to know you served in an outfit 1171 01:48:32,580 --> 01:48:37,000 that averaged more combat missions per person than any other? 1172 01:48:37,040 --> 01:48:39,460 Don't you want more unit citations 1173 01:48:39,510 --> 01:48:42,770 and more oak-leaf clusters on your Air Medal? 1174 01:48:42,800 --> 01:48:46,900 Don't you want to contribute further to this fleet record 1175 01:48:46,930 --> 01:48:49,230 by flying more missions? 1176 01:48:49,270 --> 01:48:50,860 No. 1177 01:48:51,930 --> 01:48:56,600 In that case, we'll just have to send you home. 1178 01:48:56,650 --> 01:48:59,200 Of course, there's one catch. 1179 01:49:00,530 --> 01:49:02,410 Yeah? What's that? 1180 01:49:03,530 --> 01:49:08,280 Well, we will issue orders sending you back to the States 1181 01:49:08,330 --> 01:49:12,880 and there's one thing you have to do for us in return. 1182 01:49:12,910 --> 01:49:15,220 What would that be? 1183 01:49:23,720 --> 01:49:26,100 Like us. 1184 01:49:42,490 --> 01:49:45,070 Like you? 1185 01:49:46,360 --> 01:49:48,250 Like us. 1186 01:49:48,280 --> 01:49:52,160 You'll be surprised how easy it is to like us once you begin. 1187 01:49:52,200 --> 01:49:55,470 You see, we're going to put you on Easy Street. 1188 01:49:55,500 --> 01:49:59,640 - Make you a major. - Give you another medal. 1189 01:49:59,670 --> 01:50:03,720 - Send you home a hero. - You'll have parades in your honor. 1190 01:50:03,760 --> 01:50:07,270 You can make speeches, raise money for war bonds. 1191 01:50:07,300 --> 01:50:10,680 And all you have to do is be our pal. 1192 01:50:10,720 --> 01:50:13,360 Say nice things about us. 1193 01:50:13,390 --> 01:50:17,730 Tell the folks at home what a good job we're doing. 1194 01:50:21,570 --> 01:50:24,120 Take our offer, Yossarian. 1195 01:50:24,150 --> 01:50:28,650 It's either that or a court martial for desertion. 1196 01:50:35,830 --> 01:50:40,580 What about the others? I'd be playing a dirty trick on them. 1197 01:50:40,630 --> 01:50:45,710 - They'll be happy you're gone. - They have a war to win. 1198 01:50:50,510 --> 01:50:52,590 Well, what the hell. 1199 01:50:52,640 --> 01:50:56,100 If they don't want more missions, let them say so. 1200 01:50:56,140 --> 01:50:59,570 - Precisely. - Exactly. 1201 01:51:03,230 --> 01:51:05,540 It's a deal. 1202 01:51:44,230 --> 01:51:46,480 Assassino! 1203 01:51:56,870 --> 01:51:59,550 Help! Help! 1204 01:52:23,730 --> 01:52:25,320 'Help him!' 1205 01:52:25,360 --> 01:52:28,240 - What? - 'Help him! Help him!' 1206 01:52:28,280 --> 01:52:30,910 - Help who? - 'Help the bombardier!' 1207 01:52:30,950 --> 01:52:35,450 - I'm the bombardier, I'm all right. - 'Then help him! Help HlM!' 1208 01:52:48,170 --> 01:52:50,420 I'm cold. 1209 01:52:50,460 --> 01:52:53,140 Cold. God. 1210 01:52:53,180 --> 01:52:57,900 It's gonna be OK, kid. We'll be home soon. 1211 01:53:09,360 --> 01:53:12,450 - Does the leg still hurt? - No. 1212 01:53:43,560 --> 01:53:45,780 There, there. 1213 01:53:53,940 --> 01:53:56,030 There, there. 1214 01:53:58,200 --> 01:54:00,280 There, there. 1215 01:54:27,480 --> 01:54:30,690 - May we come in? - Sure. 1216 01:54:30,730 --> 01:54:33,490 - I see you're all alone. - Yep. 1217 01:54:33,530 --> 01:54:35,830 Well, you're going home. 1218 01:54:38,070 --> 01:54:41,840 - I don't know if I am. - I've got your orders right here. 1219 01:54:41,870 --> 01:54:46,130 That parade they're rehearsing is for you. You're a hero. 1220 01:54:46,160 --> 01:54:51,080 And you're gonna get a medal for stopping that Nazi killing Cathcart. 1221 01:54:51,130 --> 01:54:55,520 That wasn't a Nazi. That was Nately's whore. 1222 01:54:55,550 --> 01:54:59,600 She tried to kill me because I told her about Nately. 1223 01:55:01,470 --> 01:55:05,970 - But-but the Colonel said that... - It's a deal I made with them. 1224 01:55:06,020 --> 01:55:07,930 They send me home a hero 1225 01:55:07,980 --> 01:55:11,990 and I say wonderful things about them back in the States. 1226 01:55:16,240 --> 01:55:18,320 Oh. 1227 01:55:20,280 --> 01:55:22,780 That's a lousy deal, isn't it? 1228 01:55:25,040 --> 01:55:28,330 - Isn't it? - Well... 1229 01:55:31,420 --> 01:55:33,830 Isn't it? 1230 01:55:33,880 --> 01:55:37,090 I don't know, I'm not here to judge you. 1231 01:55:37,130 --> 01:55:39,350 What are you here for? 1232 01:55:41,090 --> 01:55:43,650 I'm not too sure about that either. 1233 01:55:45,600 --> 01:55:48,020 What would you do if you were me? 1234 01:55:50,140 --> 01:55:53,690 I don't know. I mean, I'm not you. 1235 01:55:55,520 --> 01:55:57,830 Imagine that you are me. 1236 01:56:00,110 --> 01:56:05,540 That's hard. Sometimes I even have trouble imagining that I'm me, 1237 01:56:05,580 --> 01:56:07,660 if you know what I mean. 1238 01:56:11,540 --> 01:56:13,870 Well, I'm gonna call the deal off. 1239 01:56:13,920 --> 01:56:18,010 Let them send me home because I've flown over 50 missions. 1240 01:56:18,050 --> 01:56:21,840 - They'd have to send home every man. - That's their problem. 1241 01:56:21,880 --> 01:56:25,560 No, it's yours because they'll court-martial you. 1242 01:56:25,600 --> 01:56:28,940 - Make the best of a bad situation. - No. 1243 01:56:28,970 --> 01:56:31,060 No what? 1244 01:56:32,810 --> 01:56:37,150 I've been lying in this bed for three weeks thinking about it 1245 01:56:37,190 --> 01:56:40,700 and all I know is I don't want to go to prison 1246 01:56:40,740 --> 01:56:43,290 and I can't play Cathcart's game. 1247 01:56:45,030 --> 01:56:48,580 Well, what else can you do? 1248 01:56:48,620 --> 01:56:51,120 I can run away. 1249 01:56:52,210 --> 01:56:54,590 - You'd desert? - Why not? 1250 01:56:54,630 --> 01:56:57,720 How would you get off the base? That's insane. 1251 01:56:57,750 --> 01:57:00,140 That's why it's so sensible. 1252 01:57:00,170 --> 01:57:03,350 They'll call you a coward. It's your country. 1253 01:57:03,380 --> 01:57:07,230 Christ, I've flown 55 missions and fought three years, 1254 01:57:07,260 --> 01:57:09,260 now I'll fight for myself. 1255 01:57:09,310 --> 01:57:13,810 - Suppose everyone felt that way? - I'd be a fool to feel different. 1256 01:57:13,850 --> 01:57:16,440 What would your friends say? 1257 01:57:16,480 --> 01:57:20,620 I haven't got any. Nately was blown to bits, 1258 01:57:20,650 --> 01:57:23,150 McWatt killed himself, 1259 01:57:23,200 --> 01:57:27,830 Hungry Joe was chopped in two, Dobbs disappeared, 1260 01:57:27,870 --> 01:57:30,370 Aardvark's a murderer, 1261 01:57:30,410 --> 01:57:33,050 Doc Daneeka's a zombie... 1262 01:57:34,790 --> 01:57:36,870 They're all gone. 1263 01:57:37,130 --> 01:57:41,220 The only friend I had was Snowden and I didn't even know him. 1264 01:57:41,260 --> 01:57:43,890 What about Orr? 1265 01:57:43,920 --> 01:57:46,310 Orr's at the bottom of the sea. 1266 01:57:46,340 --> 01:57:49,020 No, he isn't. Don't you know? 1267 01:57:49,060 --> 01:57:51,640 - Know what? - Orr's in Sweden. 1268 01:57:51,680 --> 01:57:53,570 What? 1269 01:57:53,600 --> 01:57:58,190 After 16 weeks at sea, Orr was found by a trio of Swedish Girl Scouts. 1270 01:57:58,230 --> 01:58:01,080 - It's a miracle. - He rowed all the way. 1271 01:58:01,110 --> 01:58:03,830 - He rowed? - In that tiny little raft! 1272 01:58:03,860 --> 01:58:06,360 Think of that, all the way to Sweden! 1273 01:58:06,410 --> 01:58:09,450 - He'll sit out the rest of the war. - It's a miracle! 1274 01:58:09,490 --> 01:58:12,620 It's no miracle. He has to have planned it. 1275 01:58:12,660 --> 01:58:16,800 - He went to Sweden deliberately? - It's 4,000 miles away! 1276 01:58:16,830 --> 01:58:20,850 He always said that crash-landing was good practice. 1277 01:58:20,880 --> 01:58:25,350 - Getting shot down in the sea. - On every mission that he flew! 1278 01:58:27,180 --> 01:58:29,310 No, no, no. That is a miracle. 1279 01:58:30,600 --> 01:58:35,680 Practicing getting shot down in the sea! 1280 01:58:35,730 --> 01:58:37,950 He made it? 1281 01:58:39,770 --> 01:58:41,940 He made it? 1282 01:58:43,650 --> 01:58:48,370 He made it! That son of a bitch made it! 1283 01:58:59,540 --> 01:59:04,290 - Are you crazy? Is he crazy? - If he made it, so can l! 1284 01:59:04,340 --> 01:59:07,630 - We gotta stop him. - I can do it, Danby! 1285 01:59:07,680 --> 01:59:10,480 - They'll catch you! - I can do it! 1286 01:59:10,510 --> 01:59:12,930 - This is insane! - I can do it! 1287 01:59:12,970 --> 01:59:16,350 - But your clothes! - They'll never recognize me. 1288 01:59:16,390 --> 01:59:20,100 You'll be on the run, in constant danger of betrayal! 1289 01:59:20,150 --> 01:59:22,620 I live that way now. 1290 01:59:22,650 --> 01:59:26,240 - For God's sake, hurry up! - So long, Chaplain. 1291 01:59:26,280 --> 01:59:30,920 - How do you feel, Yossarian? - Fine, except I'm scared to death. 1292 01:59:30,950 --> 01:59:34,240 - You'll have to keep on your toes! - I will. 1293 01:59:34,290 --> 01:59:36,420 - You'll have to jump. - I'll jump. 1294 01:59:36,450 --> 01:59:38,420 Jump!