["All His Children" plays]
He's been over there a while.
Do you think he's doing any good?
I got payments to make on a Chevrolet.
God damn scabs over there.
[Man yelling]
Is that Floyd? What's he running for?
Get your buggin' ass out of here,
you buggin' socialist!
They're after him!
All of 'em. What are they up to?
You union creep, get lost!
Whoa!
I'll blow your belly right out of your dang head!
Hey, wait a minute, Floyd...
None of you live bets gonna tell me what he loves.
[Chuckling]
What are they...
They're trying to kill him!
Sands!
Man: What about that, Floyd?
Pansy socialists!
God damn traitors!
I'll get every last one of ya! Whoo!
Hang in there!
Floyd, come on!
Easy, Floyd. Easy.
God damn, strike-breaking bastards.
I got you, Floyd.
It'll be OK.
My God...
They could've killed me.
Did they get you? Are you hurt?
You all right?
You lousy gypo scabber bastards!
We'll get you!
We're gonna pull you down.
[Radio plays country music]
Look! [Speaking unclearly]
with the dynamite...
Boom! I though you put it right in the boat!
God damn union freaks.
Teach you to go snoopin' around.
And then someone over there is yelling,
"Look out!"
How's he gonna look out,
if the boat's going all over the damn river?
He's screaming and yelling,
"What's happening to me? What's happening to me?."
What'd I tell you?
The holy signals are hanging over us
right now, Hank. I mean,
everything's going to be milk and honey.
We're in God's own fat pocket.
Brother Walker told us that.
He told us.
Yeah.
And he don't hand out any crap
Iike some of them other preachers do.
God damn, some people would rather talk than eat.
Ah, it's washing out down here, Joe.
Give me a hand, will ya?
Hank, Joe B.!
You boys planning on a stag party here tonight?
We got women inside.
This ain't no party, bub.
This here is Mr. Jonathan Draeger.
Pleasure to meet you both.
He's the whole works, bub. He's the president.
Not just Oregon.
The whole damn freakin' union.
Yeah, I think I know that, Floyd.
Boy, you sure picked one hell of a night
for a moonlight cruise.
Yeah, it is that.
I was working over in Portland today.
And I thought I might stop by
and chat for a few minutes before we left.
OK. Go ahead.
Well, is it asking too much of an old buddy
if we get in out of the rain?
Come on.
No sense in tracking all of this water
into the house, Floyd. We can talk out here.
Henry, it's Jonathan Draeger.
How are you?
How you do, sir?
Viv, bring out a couple of six-packs
of cold ones, will ya?
Oh, boy.
This weather up here really plays hell
with my athlete's foot.
Seems like any time I come up to Oregon,
it just crawls right up to my privates.
Yeah. Well, I hope the trip will be worth it.
Could we cut the fun and games and get to the point?
Well, you got to think I'm kind of arrogant
to barge in here to plug up the holes, Hank.
Is it all right if I call you Hank?
What do you think, Henry?
It's OK by me.
He's the boss.
Well, I was just wondering if maybe you can hold on
to everything you've got now and then sell it all later on.
Sell it to somebody else maybe.
Sure.
Sure. We'll tell the O'Connel Company
to go screw themselves.
I guess that gives us the privilege
of selling our logs to somebody else.
I get you.
Well then?
Well then what?
Can't do that, Floyd.
By God, you've got to do it.
Look, we got a contract, Mr. Draeger.
How do you handle that? I mean, that's our word.
Draeger: Shouldn't have gave your word.
No, thanks. Listen, I know.
We've got nothing against you independents.
We're not out to put the family operations
out of business.
Thanks.
That clears that up.
I mean, they're your friends and neighbors.
Don't you think you owe 'em something?
That depends on what they'd owe us
if they were on the other end.
Oh, come on now. You know what I'm talking about.
See, I don't think I do know
what you're talking about.
You come on pretty folksy with that athlete's foot
and those first names and everything.
Why don't we cut through that crap and get straight on it?
That suits me fine. But what am I going to tell you?
You got a town full of people here who are hurting.
Now somebody is going to have to give up something
somewhere along the line. Don't you agree?
Henry, you answer that.
Well, now,
it just so happens, see,
we get ourselves up at 4:30 every morning,
go out and chop wood.
It's every morning but Sunday for sure.
And Saturday maybe.
We've been doing that
for a hell of a lot of years with no stink.
So when you or Floyd here
or General Motors or some Commie-pinko
or my hound dog tells us
we're not going to get up at 4:30, I tell you...
you haven't got a whisper
of a bare-ass clue what the hell this family's all about.
Not a whisper.
Nothing.
Well, that's just about as clear a statement
of 19th-century philosophy as I've ever heard.
Fine. Give us a look at the 20th.
Your slots and compartments you stash people away in.
You gonna tell us when to stop cutting
and when to start cutting. And who to sell to,
and pat our little bottoms
and tell us what good little boys we are.
Well, not yet, bub. Not yet you don't.
I'm only asking you to hang onto the logs you already have.
Let me tell you something. Might gladden your heart
and dry up your athlete's foot overnight.
We might not make that deadline.
We got three weeks of the worst logging coming up.
And we're liable to fall short. But let me tell you something.
We are going to bust our humps trying.
I'm really sorry you feel that way.
Every time you open up a paper these days,
you read about violence.
It's almost as if nothing gets done anymore without it.
So, if these people here...
Wait a minute.
I think we're down to the gritty, Henry.
If you're talking threats,
I think you can make them plainer than that.
Just what kind of violence do you have in mind?
I'm just pointing out the facts, that's all.
Your friends and neighbors here,
they say you're strike breaking.
You say, you're bound to honor your word.
So that's the way it stands.
Well, I only speak for the union.
We have no jurisdiction over family operations.
So the union's out of it from now on.
It's between you people.
Whatever happens from here on out, the union's out of it.
I'm glad to have met you, Mr. Stamper.
My father was a good friend of your father
many long years ago.
Ah. What was his name?
Til Draeger.
Never heard of him.
Thanks for your hospitality.
Goodnight.
Well...
Hmm?
Yeah, we better get back to work on that, Joe.
[Chopping]
Tide'll be coming in like hell tonight.
Oh, it's always coming in like hell.
Like it or not,
it's going to carry us all off someday.
[Church bell ringing]
This is it, buddy.
Huh?
OK. Thanks for the ride.
Bye bye.
[Whistles]
Hey!
[Whistling]
Joey. Good day, rigger.
Yeah, Hank, I get ya.
[Bell ringing]
Who's doing all that raging over there?
Oh, I can't tell from here.
I'm going to go see though.
What can I do for ya?
Wish I knew, Joe B.
Huh?
Oh, you sure haven't changed much, Joe B.
All right, come on now. Just who the hell are you?
I'm Lee, Joe B. Leland.
You're Lee?
Can't believe it.
Huh!
My God...
Lee, what's all that crap hanging down your head.
Can we go over now?
Why sure, boy.
Get in and we're off and sailing, boy.
Hey, Hank! Uncle Henry, I got Lee!
I got Leland Stamper!
I got Lee! Whoo-hoo!
What the hell is all this shoutin' going on?
It's your kid, Uncle Henry.
What kid?
Your other kid. Lee.
Bullshit. No. Come on.
Joe B.'s bringing him
across the river right now.
[Dog barking]
Hey, girls, come on...
Hi.
You?
Me.
I'm a son of a bitch.
I lost myself a son,
he comes back home a daughter.
Where'd you get all that hair?
It grows.
How you been, huh?
Getting by. Good.
I tell ya, it's about all you can ask for.
These damn fool socialists running the country.
Come here, honey, would you?
Lee, I want you to meet my misses.
This here is Jan.
Hi. Pleased to meet you.
How do you do?
And this is Tita.
Hello, Tita.
Now tell me. What do you think about
your old man up there, huh?
He fell out of a tree about four months ago.
Broke his whole left side.
Hell, I've been hurt worse than that.
Henry, for goodness sake.
I don't think we ought to keep Leland
standing here on the dock. Hi.
I'm Viv. Hank's wife.
How you do?
Why don't you come on up?
Hank's around here someplace.
At least he was a few minutes ago.
Hank: How are you, swinger?
Never thought you'd get back here on your own.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess it is kinda strange.
What are you, just passing through?
Maybe.
What do you think, Henry?
Want to put this puppy dog up for the night?
I don't know. Looks to me like some kind of NewYork fairy.
[Joe chuckling]
Boy, damn if he don't.
If you two would just stop it. Now come on.
Hey, Lee, how does it look to you?
Pretty much the same.
Where's he going to sleep, though?
Wherever you think.
Oh, I got it.
Hey, Lee, you can have your old room back.
We'll just move our kids out right now.
You don't mind doing that, do you, honey?
Why no. Of course not.
Hey, Lee, see, you're all set up.
Better get those kids out pretty quick, Jan,
he looks kind of shook up.
I've been on the road three days.
Where you sure as hell been on something, bub.
Want a beer?
No. No, thanks.
Come on in. Sit down where we can talk.
No, really. I am kind of tired.
If I could maybe sack out for a while
and get myself together.
Well, sure, you bet, Lee.
Come on upstairs. I got your stuff.
Come on.
I think he's beautiful.
Yeah, the son...
the prodigal son returns.
That's me, right?
Question is why.
I think it's time for you to know the answer.
You see, my dear boozy mother used to get these letters
every month.
And who do you suppose sent those letters?
Himself.
And what do you suppose was in those letters?
Hmm?
Money.
Real, honest to goodness money.
I mean, it's really got to make you wonder
his being so nice to us.
Hank. Not my old man.
Hank.
God only knows. I owe him an awful lot.
So I just had to come up here and give him my helping hand.
Now, ain't we lucky?
Bunch of dumb scabs.
Ignorant savages, eat dirt and bugger raccoons
'cause they don't know any better.
And then here comes Leland Stamper.
Knows everything.
Yeah...
Well, I know this, Hank.
I know all there is to know about ladies
who jump out of six-story windows.
I'm a real expert at that.
So be it, bub. Nobody pushed.
Please tell me about it.
She's dead and buried. Nobody's business.
You know, I don't remember seeing Hank at the funeral.
Would you believe it, Viv? Nobody came.
Nobody.
Well, not even anybody from her own family?
Disowned her.
Gave up on her years ago, when she ran away to Oregon
with this fast talking old widower
by the name of Henry Stamper.
And if that wasn't bad enough she even had a kid by him.
So nobody came. Nobody.
Hey, don't you worry, Hank.
We got your God damn flowers.
[Toilet flushes]
Henry: Hubba! Hubba!
Time for some whistle bunks.
Let's go! Let's go!
Gonna stay in bed all day?
Wag it and shag it, Stampers.
Contracts to fill.
Eggs to hatch and cats to kill.
No sissy shits here.
Come on. Let's wake it and shake it, bub.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is right.
Are they asleep?
I think Barina's awake.
Come on in here then.
Oh, yeah.
Man [on radio]: ...waterfront areas are reminded
to check carefully.
Chorus: "KRO, Number One"
Think he's going to make it?
I don't know. He was laying in bed up there.
Looked just like Rita Hayworth.
Morning.
Morning, Leland.
Over here.
Good morning.
You're late.
Waffles is all gone.
It's ok, Henry.
I saved some for him in the oven.
You want some coffee?
Yes, thank you.
Come on, Leland let's have the benefits
of some of that university learning.
Give us something of trigonometry.
Go on, say something in trigonom.
Well, if you don't mind.
I'd like to wag it and shag it first.
Thank you.
Joe: Lee, you going to stick around?
The reason I ask is we're kind of up against it.
We're a little shorthanded.
See, we could use every last Stamper
we can get a hold of.
What do you mean? He's eating here, ain't he?
If he's gonna eat here, he's gonna work here.
It's all. He's workin'.
Maybe Lee's got to say something about that.
Me and Jan, we're going to take you over
to the Church of God
and the Metaphysical Science.
We gonna introduce you to BrotherWalker.
What do you want to do that for?
Hey, I can tell you something, Lee.
Thank you.
You know what happened as soon as Jan and me
got the call, the very instant we got saved?
I mean the very instant. You know what happened?
She got pregnant, that's what.
The very instant like.
Incredible.
Bullshit.
Want some more syrup, Lee?
Anything wrong?
No. Everything's fine.
I was just wondering,
don't the ladies get to say anything at breakfast?
Henry: Get him some boots.
What?
Get some Clarks for him, stop all this jawin'.
Wait a minute. He hasn't even said
he's going to stay yet.
Get the God damn boots. Get 'em.
Heh. Come on, Lee.
Try these on.
And don't step on anybody, huh?
I'll get you a hat.
Why don't you back off, old man?
Oh, mommy sissypants.
Years ago, when his mommy took him with,
I knew he wasn't going to cut it.
I knew he'd never cut it.
Hank: You might give him a little room.
What for?
Well, you're old school.
He's only a half-brother to me but as far as I've been told,
he's all your son.
Don't you boys go docking it just 'cause I ain't there.
You keep Uncle John nice and sober.
Should be a good day, pretty good day for it.
Hey, Joe, hold it. Hmm?
Hold it.
Just look at that. Look at that up there.
Huh? What?
That's my old man.
Ain't he a handsome looking devil?
No getting around that.
Sons of bitches.
Hey, you dare I leave my unprotected wife alone
with a sheik like that?
Joe: Pretty risky, Hank.
My God, you Campfire Girls going to get the hell
out of here?
Take it easy, Henry.
Joe: Hey, Leland, get on down here!
Got no respect!
Here they are, Leland. Ain't they beauties?
Huh?
Hey, come on, Andy. What's happening?
Clyde ain't coming at all, that's what's happening.
All right.
I'm Leland Stamper.
Billy Bejesus.
I'm your cousin Andy. Must be about 10 years now.
I heard about your mother.
Yeah, well, she's dead.
Yeah. Sure am sorry, Lee.
Where'd you get all the hair?
It grows.
Man: Hey, fellas, can you come over here?
Can you take me across?
My boat's laid up.
Ah, thanks a lot, fellas.
I sure do thank you for the lift.
Any of you fellas got any smokes on you?
I'm clear out.
Got a match?
I see you got a new hand here, Hank.
Yeah, it's my brother Leland.
Case you want to put that in your union report.
Where'd you get all that hair?
Well, it grows.
Hank: How's it going, Les?
Fine. It's great.
Could be a lot better, of course.
Well, I'm just going down the county line.
Going to pick gooseberries.
Imagine that? Me a logger.
You know, some of the fellas
down at that union hall
are getting plenty pissed off at you.
They said...
They said they're going to kick your ass
'til your nose bleeds.
That's what they said. [Laughing]
Hey, wait, you know what?
We got the lumberman's field day coming up.
Boy, I sure bet the boys would like to see
all you Stamper folks out there when that gets underway.
That's swell.
You can build bleachers and sell tickets.
Thanks a lot, fellas.
I sure do appreciate the ride.
Hey, now look.
You make sure that you fellas come out, you hear?
[Bluegrass music plays]
[Car horn honks]
Hank: OK, Stampers, up and at 'em.
Hey, girls, we got an invitation
to the lumberman's field day.
Neat work you guys do up here.
Well, Leland, all you got to do
is find something else
for mommy to wipe her little baby's butt with.
And all this neat works out a business.
[Saw cutting]
What's he going on, Hank?
Setting the choker.
Well, you look at the bright side of it, Lee.
It's going to make a man out of you.
[Horn honks]
[Honks]
The fella down there.
Name's Hook. He'll show you around.
And you see that thin thing up there?
You stay away from that.
Flaps 30, 40 feet. It's a haul back.
We don't want to waste a lot of time
picking up what's left of you.
Right down there.
I'm gonna go cut me a tail spar.
That first step's a bitch.
[Horn honks]
Hi, I'm Leland.
Hi. How are you? I'm Hook.
You get off on that side, and I'll get off on this side.
And I'll show you how to set one of these.
Okey doke.
[Horn honks]
[Honk]
You got her?
Where is it?
Find it? Oh, yeah, I got it.
Insert it right in that slot there.
[Honks]
Now let's get this one.
I'll let you get on the uphill side and you can fix this one.
I get your fingers? No.
Now what?
Just head uphill there. We'll get out of the way.
[Honks]
You got it?
OK.
Now let's get this.
Oh, look out!
God damn! Sorry.
Hold onto that.
[Honks]
[Honking continues]
[Honking ceases]
[Radio plays music]
Hey, Hooks. Kid coming up?
I don't think so.
The little bastard done all right this morning though.
Jesus Christ!
God damn!
Where'd you learn the strip act? In college?
Some whore of a bug bit me.
It's a carpenter ant.
Shit!
Well, listen to that. He can cuss too.
Don't that beat everything.
Here.
I guess you done OK.
You'll get the hang of it.
You know what you can do with this job, King Kong?
You can shove it.
Well...
You got a hell of a good point there, bub.
It ain't a lot of fun.
But it's something that we do pretty good.
And it's...
you know what's gotten into me?
You know what's running through my head right now?
What are you doing here?
What'd you come back here for?
[Sawing]
The old man's at The Snag.
Oh, yeah?
Really. John heard it in town.
The old man's down at The Snag.
Well, it ain't election day
so I suppose they're serving booze down there.
Yeah.
You think he's going to be all right, though?
The way things are in town?
Well, there's about
and one of Henry.
So I figure the odds are in our favor.
Who's talking about good ol' days?
Always talking about good ol' days.
Hell. There weren't nothing good about them except...
Hi, Hank. How you doing, buddy?
Pretty good. Hi, Henry.
Can I buy you a beer?
Yeah. OK.
Hey, get us a couple more beers.
Haven't seen you in a while.
Guess you been working pretty hard though, huh?
Yeah.
Well, that's good.
Things were going pretty good for me until about a month ago.
You know, I've had Gregory Peck and Doris Day
all week down at the theater.
But nobody's coming down to see 'em.
Bang up shows, too.
Guys keep on telling me I should put on those
new sex movies. Everything's all tit and butt.
But I just won't stoop that low.
I got a real special down at the laundry too.
Three shirts for 99 cents.
A real special. But people just can't afford it.
Not with the strike going on, Hank.
You know what I mean.
Hell, you know what I'm talking about.
I mean, God knows you wouldn't want to do anything
to hurt anybody in this town.
We just want your help, that's all.
Well, I've tried, Willard.
But my wife won't let anybody touch my shirts.
Floyd: At least you know who your friends were.
Henry: What'd you say?
In those days you could trust your friends.
They didn't knife you in the back.
Boy, if I was a cut much younger,
I'd wrap that chair across your fat gut.
Henry, be a sweet young fellow and head on home.
Got to get my cane.
Oh!
Hey! Hey.
Sorry, Floyd. I didn't mean to do that.
Be nice if that whole God damn family dropped dead.
[Honks]
[Radio plays music]
OK. She's set.
[Chainsaw whirring]
[Honks]
Look out! Look at that son of a bitch come!
[Honks]
Who set that?
The kid set that one.
Ah, what I heard is you got a big one loose today.
Who told you that?
Them things get around.
Hell, even a dumb fool woman
can set up a choker proper.
I wonder how she would make out if someone sawed it through.
What does that mean?
Sawed it through, Hank.
Look, I tell you something.
Get enough hair in your eyes
you can see almost anything.
Maybe we better keep the kids home tomorrow, huh?
Why don't we all stay home tomorrow?
Man the barricades.
We could make our stand on the bend of the river.
The proud Stampers!
And never give a God damn inch.
That's the old Stamper motto, isn't it? Hmm?
Words to live by
for the ruling scabs of Oregon.
[Door slams]
For a kid almost killed, he's...
still got a sense of humor.
[Dogs barking]
Come on, girls, let's go.
Why didn't you go hunting?
I don't know. I guess I'd want
the fox to win.
Come on. Come on. Let's go.
Don't you ever get a day off?
Not very often.
What do they do at a lumberman's
field day anyway?
They drink beer and play grab ass
with each other's motorcycles.
Couldn't have been easy for you coming back here.
Wasn't hard either.
Hell, it was the first trip I'd had all year
on rubber tires.
I was just sitting there one day,
sitting in my room staring at the ceiling with the gas on.
Gas?
Yeah, it was going for maybe 20 minutes or so.
I got this really brilliant idea.
I was going to have this last joint and go out high.
So rolled up this joint and I lit up and boom.
You wouldn't believe what happened.
I mean, the windows blew out, the door caved in.
I found myself on the street.
Finally, the cops hauled me off to the hospital.
Next thing I knew I was getting sued by the landlord.
I couldn't pay the hospital bill.
I mean, I had to split.
Why did you want to turn on the gas?
Well, I was just on a bummer for about a year.
There was nobody there.
[Door opens]
Viv: Henry!
Reba!
Come on, girl.
Henry.
Henry, you can't go chasing off like that.
When I need a wet nurse, missy,
I'll go up to the county hospital.
What about you?
You never say anything.
Yeah, I know.
Like the strike. Doesn't it bother you?
Oh.
I don't think about it.
Why not?
Nobody asks me.
Well, I mean if anybody should ask,
they don't listen anyway.
That's the way it is.
Did you know that before you came here?
Ha. No. I came here...
I came here on the back of a green motorcycle.
All the way from Rocky Ford, Colorado.
Rocky Ford.
Yep.
Nobody knows it,
but that's the watermelon capital of the world.
I bet it is.
Well...
Hank came riding through there one summer.
Just after cutting season.
Then...
my uncle threw him in jail
for disorderly conduct.
My uncle was the sheriff.
And he...
got out two nights later and...
There was you and Hank
and the watermelon patch, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, sort of.
And so you took off.
No. I left.
I left my aunt and uncle,
and the watermelon patch, and the jail,
and...
God, riding out of there...
on the back of that thing,
hanging onto Hank.
So anyway, here I am.
I got a garden here. I got flowers and...
got a German yellow canary upstairs.
And they're all mine.
And if that river ever comes up
and carts us all off, they're still mine.
That's all there is.
Has it always been everything?
No.
God no. Not that first summer.
Had a baby in me then. I had Hank's baby,
a Stamper...
Everybody was fussing over me and doing for me.
Even the rain held off till December.
We went off to Reed's Port the first night it rained.
And he was born. He was beautiful.
He had blue eyes and lots of brown hair.
And he was dead.
And there wouldn't be anymore.
Doesn't matter now anyway.
I seem to give Hank what he wants, what he needs.
He seems satisfied.
Are you?
Hey, hey. Go get him champ.
You bet.
Well, Henry, they sure won't be expecting us.
[Engine starts]
I mean, I really don't know why
we have to go through this.
Sure you do.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Let's get out there and have some fun.
Hey!
Got these rules?
Yeah, Hank, keep it up!
Come on, Hank! Keep it up!
Hey. Hey.
You ever seen anything like that, huh?
[Men laughing]
Got a beer?
Don't you want some water?
You hungry?
Yeah.
How'd it go?
Oh, I don't know.
You win a few, you lose a few.
Hey, Hank, how about a hamburger?
Hamburger or hotdog?
Hamburger, I think.
All right. There you are.
Hank!
How about a little touch football?
Oh, I don't know.
Stamper, you want a little football?
Yeah, why not.
Ronny, Gene.
A little touch football.
Heya, fellas.
How you doing, guys?
[Chatter]
A little touch football...
Hey, nice, nice.
My God, the kid's fast, Hank.
Going fast to sleep. He's just like his big brother.
Remember that real wet summer we had, kid?
Lot of beds got warmed up that summer.
Hank and I, we know which bed I'm talking about,
don't we?
It's pretty funny lately.
'Cause everybody knew
that Hank was balling your mother.
Oh, boy.
Get him, Joe B.
[Cheering]
Get in there, Hankus!
[Singing]
That wasn't a very good landing there, Hank.
Do a job, man.
Oh, ha ha.
Come on, you guys. You've had it.
Hank: Don't bother to park.
Ah, honey.
Sorry. But I was forced to kick the crap
out of some friends and neighbors.
Come on. Come on up.
I forgot something.
No, no. Hank.
Let got of me, Leland.
Hank, come on.
I'm...
Are you all right?
Whoo!
Whee! Whee!
Eight feet, Joe B., right on the mark!
We're in God's fat little pocket.
Fun, huh?
Fun.
Let me know.
What?
If you want to leave.
Come on! Come on, let's get 'em moving!
You know, I'm sorry about that.
Sorry about what, Hank?
Well, the way you found out about me and your mother.
Hey, let me tell you something, Hank.
I didn't find out about anything yesterday
that I didn't know already.
Hey, how does that happen?
Who tells 10-year-old kids about their mothers?
Their mothers?
Nobody had to tell me anything, Hank.
I saw you.
[Truck approaching]
Hank: OK, Stampers, up and at 'em.
I don't know.
Hell, everything's coming apart at the seams.
I tell you, Hank, it's Orland's boys.
He says they all got the flu or something.
Or something...
Yeah, he doesn't know when he'll be back.
You know, he don't know the difference
between a goose and a Coos bay whore.
But he knows when they're coming back.
He knows, all right.
It ain't easy, Hank.
The Davies boys are Orland's boys.
Any of us.
My little girl comes home crying every day
'cause there won't nobody play with her.
We're all of us dirt.
Just a couple weeks longer,
they could have waited a little longer.
Maybe they just want to get out while they still can.
Well, we ain't making nothing
but shadows around here. Let's get going.
Hi, Floyd. Hi, Marie.
My God, what the hell do you want?
Well, I'll tell you. It's kind of like this.
Hey, you stop!
Now, that ain't no new truck.
But I sure do feel better.
You bastard, that was my daddy's desk!
Hey, Hank. Hank.
Listen, I got to talk to you, Hank.
Now, it's in confidence, Hank.
I'm talking to you in confidence.
Now, I've never told anybody this before.
You know, Willard, I don't think
I really want the honor.
Hank, now wait. Hank!
Hank, you listen to me now, huh?
Remember last year the girl that I hired on
to help Mildred in the laundry?
Well, that girl and me... we sort of hit it off.
You know, the two of us.
Well, right now she's up in Seattle.
She's living there.
She's got this kid, Hank. My kid.
Understand me?
I didn't know you had it in you, Willard.
Well, I'm supporting the both of them, damn it.
She and the kid.
But I can't go on any longer.
Hey, Viv.
I just can't afford to.
Hank, you're going to kill a lot of people in this town.
Get to the point, will you, Willard?
Look, that kid is my own flesh and blood.
And I don't intend to give him up.
Well...
good for you, Willard. Hang in there.
Now, listen to me, Hank Stamper.
So help me God, if you don't let up,
I'm going to do something drastic.
I'm going to kill myself.
That's no crap. I'll kill myself.
I'll make it look like...
I'll make it look like an accident
for the insurance money.
I'll do it, so help me God,
as sure as I'm standing right here right now.
I'll do it.
Well...
good luck.
Good luck?
You don't believe me.
Yeah, I do. Willard, I probably do.
It's just that I'm not thinking too sharp now.
And "good luck's" about the best
that I can come up with.
You got to admit, it's better than
"have fun" or "bon voyage."
So why don't we just let it rest, huh?
Good luck, Willard.
Listen, Hank.
Hank, will you please listen to me?
Don't you understand what I'm saying to you?
No more deliveries.
What?
No more deliveries and no more credit.
Hey, how do you feel about that?
Hell with 'em. Pick it up and pay cash.
No, I mean, what are you going to do about Willard Eggelston?
Ah...
I don't pay much attention to Willard Eggelston.
He's in show business.
Ha ha. All right, boys, let's get down to business.
You back up and holler if you see anybody coming.
Hey, the tide's moving good.
They gonna be eating these logs
for breakfast.
[Laughing]
Come on with me, Biggie.
He ain't the second snake in their log book.
We should've done this a long time ago.
Come on over here.
Let me pull on this then I can give you some slack.
Got a good find... that's getting it.
He's coming up here.
Yeah, it's getting it here. It's fine.
How you guys doing?
Going good. That's great.
Try it now.
Hey, Les, what are you doing?
Hey! Les, watch out.
Help! Biggie, get him!
Help me! I got you, Les.
Help me! I can't swim!
Pull him in!
I don't have anything.
Well, we got to get him.
My God, they're going to drift out to sea.
Well, we'll get a boat.
Don't just stand there, I can't swim.
There's a phone up in that shed.
I tell you you're not going to call that bastard.
Are you out of your mind?
They'll float by that Stamper house.
They're going to drown out there.
Come back here!
[Classical music plays]
[Phone rings]
Yeah.
Hello, Hank. This is Howie Elwood.
Who? Howie Elwood.
Uh, wait a minute.
Hey, I hate to bust up the concert,
but there's somebody on the phone.
Yeah? [Music stops]
The thing is, Hank, that we have a kind of
an emergency.
Uh, where are you guys?
Well, we're down around your log rafts somewhere.
Oh, yeah? What are you doing there?
We were having a little party, log rolling.
Log rolling at night?
A log got away from us.
And Les and Biggie are hung up on it.
If you could get your boat out,
they should be floating by pretty soon.
Can you do that, Hank?
I'll get on it.
He said he'd get on it.
I bet he's going to have
some funny questions about that raft.
Let's get on down there and put it together.
You boys look kind of wasted.
Yeah. It's kind of cold.
And we've been... you know.
You don't have to explain to us. Just get in.
We'll take you back up to the raft.
Oh, thanks.
Whoa!
[Toilet flushes]
Hubba! Hubba!
Set me some whistle bunks.
Let's go!
Oh.
Wag it and shag it, Stampers!
Let's go!
Bless this day.
I forgot.
What?
Lessie's tooth. She's going to be sore as hell
if she don't get something for that tooth.
Hank, you got a quarter? Huh?
Damn it.
Here's 35 cents.
That fairy's a big spender.
Man [on radio]: A fatal accident was reported
in the city ofWakonda.
Willard Eggelston, owner and manager of the Wakonda theater,
was found dead in front of the lobby.
Police say they believe Mr. Eggelston
might have fallen from a ladder.
He was taken to Wakonda hospital
where he was pronounced dead on arrival.
Chorus: "The time and weather on KCOB"
Man: Turning now to weather along the Central Oregon coast...
wind, rain, and high tide the outlook.
A high tide of 9.6 feet has a predicted two-foot overtide
for 11.6 feet, near the critical 12-foot level.
And all boat owners in waterfront areas...
Viv: Hank? Hank?
He killed himself.
Well, a guy takes his own life, honey,
he's got to be crazy.
Willard is dead.
Was I supposed to keep him alive?
I didn't call him up and say,
"Hey, Willard, jump!"
Don't you feel anything about it?
What do you want me to do?
Stay home.
You can do that. Today, tomorrow.
Next week. Just stay home.
Give it up.
We're not going to starve for four log booms.
I never said we were.
Stay home. Give an inch.
Take off your boots.
We can make love after breakfast.
We can make love after lunch.
And old Henry will get pissed off at us like he used to.
And you just laugh, close the door on him
Iike you used to. And you'll hold me
Iike now. Please stay home.
Henry: What you doing out there?
Come upstairs now. Right now. Please.
Bum. We'll have it for lunch.
Well, take a good look, you son of a bitch.
Like a bird. Like a God damn bird.
Something just fell off last night.
Come on, Henry.
He's been banging on that thing
all night long with a ball peen hammer.
Fix that saw you fixing her.
Come on, let's flap out of here.
I'm going down to Doc Ivan this morning,
get the rest of this cast darn booger yanked off.
And then finally maybe
when I'm back on your dumbass crew again,
we just might get some work done.
Well, don't just stand there looking.
Let's wag it and shag it.
Hey...
Hank, please don't go.
What the hell's all this?
Henry, you tell him.
You tell him to stay home.
How the hell can I do that?
Because there's no one wants you to work. No one.
Well, I do. He does.
Joe B., Lee, they do.
That's good enough.
For what? For what?
Hell, don't you know?
To keep on going, that's what.
To work and sleep and screw and eat,
drink and keep on going.
And that's all?
Honey sweet, that's all there is.
That's the whole ball of wax.
Come on, let's go.
I'll drop you boys off at the show site.
Hank?
[Engine running]
[Whistles] Joe Ben.
Yo! John!
Yo! Come out here.
Ya don't mean to truck in your way.
With a 9-foot tide running today,
they'll just float down to the pond.
Yeah. Hey, we can do that all right.
Ain't he a bitch.
That's going to be a real ball breaker
But I got an idea we can whop it.
What do you say, Hankus?
Well, we'll get 'em started, Henry.
Then you can just stomp 'em down.
Henry, that tide's coming in.
Better get somebody down to the mill pond.
No trick to that.
John here can take the pickup down,
snag each one of them coming by.
OK by me.
Here you are, Hank. I'll get Andy
and get on it right away.
Go ahead, Joe B.
Hank, it's slabbing!
Joe B.!
Oh!
Oh, God...
Go on, see about Joe B.
Joe B.
Hey, Lee.
Hey, don't worry. It's all right.
Ain't nothing broke.
This old log come barreling down,
sat right on my lap.
Soft mud saved me, I guess.
Can't you move?
I don't think so.
Hold it. There's something real hard
that's wedged right up against my butt.
What the hell happened up there?
The tree slabbed.
I think the old man got hurt pretty badly.
Well, you go on.
You get him to the hospital.
'Cause I'm OK.
Go on, Lee. I'm all right.
OK.
Is he out?
Mostly.
Here, let me get a hold.
I better get him into town real quick.
OK.
I'll give you a hand.
No, you better see what you can do
about Joe Ben.
Looks like he's got a ton full of logs
sitting on his lap down there.
Don't worry. I'll get him
to the hospital all right.
You do what you can for Joe B.
Hank.
There's a big ol' piece of wood
that's wedged right up against my butt.
It's got me stuck real good.
Hey, Hank.
[Radio plays]
Didn't even bust my radio.
What do you think of that?
Let me haul you out of here.
Oh, no. Ain't much.
You just wasting your time.
There's something hard down there under my butt
that's holding me down.
I can feel it down there.
I'll go get the saw and cut you out.
Yeah, all right. You do that.
Hey, and, Hank, you don't worry about me.
I'll just sit here and wait for you.
Jesus...
Let me walk.
Easy big boy.
I'm glad to see you again, old sport.
[Engine sputters, dies]
Hey, you were going real good, what happened?
It's got gas.
That water must've drowned it.
It ain't gonna work, Hank.
Hey, Hank, just leave it. It's all right. Look. Look.
All we got to do...
I tell you, all we got to do is sit here and wait.
This here tide is going to come in.
It's going to raise this thing off of me.
Hell, it'll float clean away.
It's got to do some rising.
Well, all right.
We just got to do some waiting then.
Good idea. You bet.
It ain't gonna work, Hank.
My arm's coming off.
Why don't you be a nice old son of a bitch
and lie still, huh?
Bastard.
Keep... you keep it here.
I don't know what happened, Leland?
OK. Hang on, dad.
[Engine sputtering]
Damn it, Hank. Damn it. It's ruined.
I forgot to take it off my stupid neck.
Well, it'll dry out most likely.
You feel it lightening any?
Can't tell you. I'm as cold as a witch's tit.
Well, let me go on under and take a look.
It's holding all right.
How far you think it's come up, Hank?
I don't know, Joe B. Couple of inches, maybe.
Hank, it's moving.
Oh, Jesus.
Hey, Hank, you ain't gonna let this old river
up and drown me, are you?
It's holding, all right. I can't budge it.
Son of a bitch.
I thought all you had to do was ask your big buddy upstairs
and everything would be all right.
Hank, I'd never ask him for nothing
if I figure you and me
could handle it ourselves.
Yeah, I suppose he's got his problems.
[Engine sputtering]
No greater problems in Oklahoma.
Hank.
I don't like this water.
It's getting over my chin.
Hey, if worse gets to worse,
I could always give you mouth to mouth
till this mother floats off you.
Yeah, you could do that.
What?
God damn it.
What if old Henry saw us, huh?
Can you imagine that old son of a bitch?
He'd be telling everybody atThe Snag
you and me was kissing before we went underwater.
I don't know if I much care for that.
I don't know if I much care for that either.
Hey, it's gonna be OK, Hank. It was moving.
It's going to pop off any time now.
Easy. Easy.
You know, I ought to maybe put my arms around you
and just kiss you a little bit first
so we get used to it, huh?
Sure wish I had a head of hair like Leland.
Make out like it was Rita Hayworth.
Hank, it's shifting, Hank!
Crazy son of a bitch.
Don't clown around.
Don't laugh. Oh!
Joe B. Joe B.
Ah, Joe B.
Joe B.
Get a stretcher, quick.
My arm fell off.
Hurry.
Lee telephoned me from the hospital.
Let's get over there.
I want Lee to go over to the mill pond.
What for?
To watch every log that goes by
and grab the one that's flagged.
Joe Ben's nailed to it.
He drowned.
There was an accident.
Henry was hurt real bad.
Joe B.'s...
What is it?
Hematocrit 28.
Hemoglobin 9.
Look, I think you'd better recheck his hemoglobin
and his hematocrit again in a couple of hours.
All right, yeah.
[Hangs up]
[Door opens]
Viv.
Up here.
Jan's going to be OK. We had to wake her parents up.
She...
hasn't told the kids yet.
She's going to wait until tomorrow.
Are you all right?
Viv...
are you all right?
[Mutters]
What?
Close the door.
The old bitch is just waiting for me to die.
She wants to change the damn fool sheets.
Come here.
What?
You know what come with the other arm?
I wasn't by God gonna let them have it.
I'm gonna bury it when I get home.
Tell Lee to put it in the freezer.
Watch out Viv don't fry it up for supper.
By God, if she ever sees that...
Easy. Easy. Lie back. Lie back.
I can't lie back.
Got things to do.
Got a contract to fill.
Got eggs to hatch and cats to kill.
In the morning, you get Joe B.,
figure out where we stand.
OK.
Hey, we got Lee, too.
By God he really cut it today, Hank, didn't he?
Yeah, he did.
Don't you believe 'em.
Who?
Them. They're trying to put me in my grave.
I'm not even close.
Not even shoutin' distance.
Oh, Hank, it's just that quack doctor to leave me...
Oh, Lordy! Lordy!
Son of a bitch!
Could you do that for me, please?
I'd appreciate it.
Thank you.
[Hangs up]
Was that the hospital?
Yeah. Not good.
It's kind of hard to believe, isn't it?
How you can just pack up all those years
in one little suitcase.
I'm not even taking the God damn canary.
Maybe I ought to leave with you.
I thought about that.
That's not what you're looking for.
That's not why you came back here.
Where will you go?
Well, I want to stay with Jan for a while.
And then I don't know.
I'll just get on with the rest of my life.
Oh, I should've left a long time ago.
[Groans]
Well, the old man didn't make it.
I can't believe this day.
We'll get together in a couple of days
and see where we stand.
Hey. We're finished.
Nobody's gonna be staying with us.
Come on, kid. Let's go home.
OK. But there's not much there anymore.
Everyone's gone.
Viv too.
She's headed off by herself.
She said she could've picked a better day.
People do what they want, kid. I don't tell 'em what to do.
Never give an inch, huh?
What do you want from me? You want to see me crash?
You bet I would, King Kong.
I'd love that.
I'd like to see you make the same splat
my mother did when she hit the pavement.
You're still laying her off on me, huh?
Well, let me tell you something, kid.
I was 14 and she was 30.
Maybe you're old enough now to help me figure out
who the hell was banging who.
Your old man said you really cut it today.
[Engine starts]
[Whistles]
[Phone ringing]
Yeah.
It's Ben, Hank.
We're having a couple of drinks.
Listen. Sorry things turned out
the way they did.
You're doing the right thing, Hank, laying off.
Some people say you're just on your knees.
But, hey, if there's anything we can do for you,
just call anytime...
[Hangs up]
What?
I think Stamper just rented a tugboat from Omomosa.
That son of a bitch aims to run them God damn logs!
You want to finish it now, Hank?
I haven't got time to cold cock you
this morning, bub. I got work to do.
You know, Hank,
I thought all you dinosaurs were dead.
Well, if they want this one,
they're gonna have to shoot him.
Just like King Kong,
you got to knock him down.
Get off them God damn logs, bub.
They're half mine now, bub.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna hook on those last two rafts.
You gonna take all four of 'em?
I am now.
I know he can't! I know he can't make it!
But he's out there trying, damn it.
Now, you get Sorenson, Evans, and Biggie Newton
and you tell them to get their ass over to the Stamper house
right this minute!
You think you can handle this tug, bub?
With my head in a sack.
Give me that rope over there.
You better keep going right down the middle, bub,
or I'm going to kick your ass
from here to Dixie.
OK. I'll make the deal.
I don't kick the crap out of you this year,
you don't kick the crap out of me next year.
Tide's really running.
Let's get this mother on the road.
Take it easy.
Yeah, I got a call. What's going on?
Nothing.
I don't believe any of it.
Anything happened?
Nothing. Not a sign of 'em.
I'll go take a look.
OK.
I bet you he gets hung up before he ever gets started.
Ain't I been telling you?
Nobody can make that run by himself.
Suppose he does take off with a couple of rafts.
Can anybody just show me how he's going to make it
on his own?
Probably get hung up on the first bend he'd come to.
Floyd.
Hey, Floyd.
Son of a bitch.
Jumpin' Jesus...
That's him.
He's got all four rafts.
He's got his kid brother. That God damn family...
[Crowd yelling]
["All His Children" plays]