1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:07,960 Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges. 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,080 It is now my duty to pass sentence. 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:18,440 You are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest and imprisonment as occupational hazards. 4 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,080 We commit you to the maximum term allowed. 5 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:25,640 You will go to prison for five years.' 6 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,400 Come on, girl, force it out! Effort! 7 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,700 Get going! Come on my beauty! 8 00:00:54,700 --> 00:01:01,580 Come on, darling, effort! You can do it, squeeze it out, my son. Come on, son! 9 00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,680 "Son"? It's a girl, you nurk! 10 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:12,580 What are you talking about? How do you know it's a girl? All hens are, Ives. Yer male's yer cock. 11 00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:16,820 Oh. There's a lot more females than males, then. 12 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:24,240 That's why yer cock always looks so smug. He's got plenty of it about. Hence the term "cocksure". 13 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,660 Here, mine looks inniment. Inniment? What? 14 00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:33,540 Nah, go on, she's dropped off. Want to double the bet? All right. Done. 15 00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:37,620 You certainly have been. Look at that - jackpot. 16 00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:41,700 See? Thanks, my darling. And thank YOU, Ives. 17 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:48,240 Listen, double or quits. Which hand are they in? Go on, fair's fair. All right. 18 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,220 That one. 19 00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:53,980 We're even. Oh, THAT'S the one. 20 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:57,380 Look at that. Now that's not funny. 21 00:01:57,380 --> 00:02:01,460 Not funny at all. Can't take a yolk, some people. 22 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:02,740 Ives! 23 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:07,540 What are you going to do? Shake hands with him, go on. 24 00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:15,120 What a loser. Poor old Ives, what a loser. You know, if Liz Taylor had triplets, and he was one, 25 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,160 he'd be the one in the middle, on the bottle. 26 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:30,160 There you are, darling. You ain't a loser. You'd have won if I hadn't cut off your access. 27 00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:40,000 Look at that, it's a beautiful one. How do you get them so egg-shaped? Hang on a minute. 28 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:49,900 Now then, girls. This is what's known as a perk of the job. 29 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:57,420 With these eggs I'm smuggling in, I can get a quarter ounce of shag, two tubes of toothpaste, 30 00:02:57,420 --> 00:03:00,120 or three bars of Fruit 'n' Nut. 31 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:07,160 Or I could see Smutty Garland, the porn king, and swap 'em for two dirty books, 32 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,060 full of full-frontal, naked nubiles. 33 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:13,560 I'd rather have the Fruit 'n' Nut, meself. 34 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,400 SQUEALING 35 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,680 God, you're messy. You eat like pigs an' all. 36 00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:40,240 Here, can you lot run? That's a thought, a pig race. Make a nice little flutter. 37 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,360 The Slade Prison Selling Plate For Pigs. 38 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:48,400 The Royal Cheltenham Pork Cup. 39 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,040 Yeah, nice thought, that. 40 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,060 I could run a book, couldn't I? 41 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:59,680 Become an owner, have my own stable...sty. The thought appeals. 42 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,240 SQUEALING 43 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,560 Bacon Handicap. 44 00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:13,060 Hello, darling. You trying again? 45 00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:16,340 Morning, Fletcher. Eh? What? 46 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:20,900 Oh, hello, Mr Barrowclough. I thought it was... All right? 47 00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:28,340 What was Ives doing? He came in on his way to the silos, Mr Barrowclough. Was he taking bets? 48 00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:31,880 Bets? We suspect he's Harry Grout's runner. 49 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:35,180 Runner? Well, for taking the bets. 50 00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:40,680 I see. Grout's a long-term prisoner, and an unpleasant man. A sort of... 51 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:48,560 ..unhealthy influence. We're pretty sure he runs both the gambling and the tobacco in this prison. 52 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:56,520 You're a good chap, Fletcher. I don't want you sucked in to that circle. Never fear, Mr Barrowclough. 53 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:04,240 Gambling appals me. I've seen its consequences. It's a plague in this prison. My poor old mother. 54 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:11,300 It's not one of my vices. Here, can pigs run? Run? Can they be trained to run? 55 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:18,440 Why? I dunno, I just thought... Well, I thought they might like a little run, 56 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:23,520 instead of having to walk like us pedestrians. A bit of exercise. 57 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:28,180 Nice to see you taking an interest in your fellow creatures. 58 00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:34,160 Don't sit there! Sorry, you might dirty your suit. I'll get a chair. 59 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:39,180 Very considerate of you. Not at all. There you are. All right? 60 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:44,180 Oh, Gawd, sorry. You seem to be settling in down on the farm. 61 00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:49,880 I resented it a bit at first, because I've never been a rural man. 62 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,740 I have a deep mistrust of animals. 63 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:58,000 I thought you told the governor you liked farming and livestock. 64 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,100 Livestock, yeah, it's just the animals I don't like. 65 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:08,380 You're very lucky. Normally, a trusty gets a privileged job like this. 66 00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:14,820 I appreciate it, Mr Barrowclough, and I'm sure you helped me, knowing your kindness. 67 00:06:14,820 --> 00:06:20,220 I didn't. Say no more. When are you going to get me a single cell? 68 00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:26,100 I can't do that. I can't share, I've no rapport with Heslop and Evans, 69 00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,880 there's no intellectual stimuli. 70 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,400 Is Evans still eating light bulbs? No, 71 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,440 he's changed his taste. He ate my shaving mirror. 72 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:41,000 There's little I can do, you know. You shouldn't ask me. 73 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:48,380 Wait, Mr Barrowclough, please don't think I want to influence you, or coerce you, 74 00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:52,500 or, I hardly like to say it, bribe you. 75 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:58,660 You're chosen by the Home Office for your honesty and integrity. 76 00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:01,380 Would a dozen eggs help, at all? 77 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,840 No, I'm sorry. 78 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,480 CHICKENS CLUCK 79 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:31,360 Lovely day for it. You won't be getting IT for a long time. 80 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:36,560 You obviously haven't had it for a long time. 81 00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:48,520 Here you are, Lukewarm. 82 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:55,560 38 eggs. What's wrong with the hens since you took over, shell shock? 83 00:07:55,560 --> 00:08:03,500 No need for that. Thieving? Mr Appleton, no need to be defamatory. Always pilfering, all of you. 84 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:09,100 I resent that. I've done some bad things, or I wouldn't be in here, 85 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:12,240 but sneak thieving is not my style. 86 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,860 All right, all right. 87 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,200 Here, Lennie. 88 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,560 Anyone been with a message for me? 89 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:27,660 Yeah, a bloke said Harry Grout gave permission. Good. Permission for what? 90 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:33,760 For a game. What game? Keep your voice down. WHISPERS: What game? 91 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:40,760 A game of chance. How do you mean? For Gawd's sake, Godber, a flutter, a gamble. 92 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:48,780 Gambling ain't allowed. 'Course it flamin' ain't, that's why we do it! 93 00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:51,480 Why do you need Grout's permission? 94 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:56,220 Godber, you've been here a week. Ain't you learnt anything? 95 00:08:56,220 --> 00:09:03,760 Officially, this hotel is run by a governor appointed by the Home Office, name of Mr Venables, right? 96 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,280 But we know different. 97 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:12,500 We know that genial Harry Grout could bring the place to a standstill. 98 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:18,580 Do you play for big stakes? If we can nick any out of the meat safe. 99 00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:26,120 No, we play for anything negotiable, snout, mostly. Whatever it is, it won't be chicken-feed. 100 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,920 Pity, I've got a lot of that. 101 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:37,200 Blokes here are always betting. The excitement counters the misery of their monotonous existence. 102 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:45,480 You what? Well, it's not winning or losing, it's doing it under the screws' noses, surreptitious, like. 103 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:50,680 Blokes by me bet on how many bricks are in the cell. That's common. 104 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:56,980 I can't think. It drives me mad, listening to their recounts. "341, 342..." 105 00:09:56,980 --> 00:10:04,620 Blokes in stir bet on anything - two flies crawling up a wall, the numbers of the hymns in the chapel, 106 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:12,620 two flies crawling down a wall. There was a big game last night. Didn't you notice the tension? 107 00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:17,560 Yeah, but I thought it was because of the female social worker. 108 00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:25,200 What, gruesome Glenda, her with the bicycle and the brogues? 109 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:29,260 You couldn't have an erotic fantasy about her. 110 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:34,880 Nifty Small's in love with her. Is he? He stole her bicycle saddle. 111 00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:42,240 I bet the ride back was a bit painful for her. 112 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:47,700 They'll soon find that, though. Under his pillow? I bet they won't. 113 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:53,680 You're on. How much? No, my mum said gambling would get me into trouble. 114 00:10:53,680 --> 00:11:00,680 Did she? You may not have noticed, son, but you're in prison. You ARE in trouble. 115 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:05,760 I still ain't watching flies crawl up walls or counting bricks. 116 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,960 I'm going to resist gambling inside. 117 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,620 Bet you can't. Oh, yes, I can. 118 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:19,720 Bet you some soap you can't. Bet I can. See, you bet you wouldn't bet, so you lost. Work that one out. 119 00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:26,880 Where are you off to, Ives? I've got the spuds. Hurry up, then. 120 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:31,700 Got the spuds? Yeah. Listen, how much do they weigh, then? 121 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:38,040 You know, don't you? No, there's no scales out there. What's the bet, then? 122 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:44,520 All the eggs you've got in there. You crafty nurk. All right, against what? 123 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,960 Ounce of snout? OK. 124 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,440 Are you in, son? Oh, no. Right, nearest one? Yeah. 125 00:11:53,900 --> 00:12:00,260 23 pounds. I say 27. You gave that a lot of thought(!) Well, just over 27. 126 00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:05,340 Would you believe it? TOGETHER: Just over 27. 127 00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:08,900 Thank you. Get off. You knew that already. 128 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:12,820 Listen, I'm no cheat. You're in here for fraud! 129 00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:19,460 What are you on about? Cheating's your career. Come on. All right, here. 130 00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:27,280 You are a crafty, conniving nurk, what are you? You're a bad loser. These'll come in handy. I owe Grouty. 131 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:32,260 It doesn't do to owe Grouty. There you are, five. Now naff off. 132 00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:39,440 Morning, Mr Appleton. What's that, Ives? The spuds, Mr Mackay. Fletcher! Pigswill. 133 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,880 What?! 134 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:46,000 Just going to give the pigs their swill. They need their swill. 135 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,960 All right, just a minute. 136 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,880 I swept all this, Mr Mackay. 137 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,020 Come here. Oh, "come here", sorry. 138 00:12:56,020 --> 00:13:00,100 I'm told that your chickens are on short time. 139 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:05,680 Since you arrived on the farm, egg production has fallen drastically. 140 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:10,720 Not my fault, Mr Mackay. The hens are in a FOWL mood. 141 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:15,820 Don't come it with me, Fletcher. What've you got here? 142 00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:19,520 The crown jewels. Chicken meal. Empty it. 143 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,840 Ives, stop! 144 00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:29,000 Empty it? Empty it. It'll make a mess, Mr Mackay. Godber! 145 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000 Don't move! 146 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,560 Empty it. 147 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:07,020 OK, Fletcher, just don't let me catch you thieving. I won't. Won't what? 148 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:10,140 I won't let you catch me, Mr Mackay. 149 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:18,560 Ives! Where are you going? Listen... Horrible Ives. It's late, Mr Mackay, I have to do the turnips. Come here. 150 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,840 But... Come here! 151 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,040 Come on! 152 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,460 Now, 153 00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:34,000 you're a bit of a jackdaw too, Ives. Last time you were caught, you were trying to steal a meat cleaver. 154 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,560 Only to sharpen my pencil, Mr Mackay. 155 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:45,360 No, it wasn't. It was to be used to persuade your cell-mate to part with his Pirelli calendar. Now... 156 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,160 ..what have we got today? 157 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,960 A meat skewer, maybe? Eh? 158 00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,840 CRUNCHING SPLAT 159 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,520 Follow me, Mr Ives. 160 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,240 Looks like the YOLK's on you, son. 161 00:15:17,099 --> 00:15:19,999 MURMUR OF CONVERSATION 162 00:15:35,139 --> 00:15:38,079 Evans, did you eat my shoe polish? 163 00:15:38,079 --> 00:15:44,219 'Course not. Are you sure? 'Course I am, why would I eat your shoe polish? 164 00:15:44,219 --> 00:15:48,919 It might make my shaving mirror go down a bit easier. 165 00:15:48,919 --> 00:15:53,959 Here, listen! Don't we knock? Word is, you've got a game going. 166 00:15:53,959 --> 00:16:02,119 Speak up, they didn't catch that in E-Wing. Bellow it from the rooftops. It's OK, the screws are brewing up. 167 00:16:02,119 --> 00:16:08,919 You're as subtle as an air raid. Is it true you've got a game going? Yeah. 168 00:16:08,919 --> 00:16:14,199 Did Grouty give the OK? At a price. When is it? Saturday afternoon, 169 00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:21,959 while Grandstand is on and the screws play E-Wing at football. Can I play? No, full house. Who's in? 170 00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:29,779 Me, Mr Heslop up there, Lukewarm from the kitchen and Mr Evans here, provided he don't eat the dice. 171 00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:33,719 Dice, is it? Possibly, yes. I've said enough. 172 00:16:33,719 --> 00:16:37,559 Listen, you can get one more in. Not you. 173 00:16:37,559 --> 00:16:41,879 It's all fixed up, all arranged, so naff off. 174 00:16:41,879 --> 00:16:48,259 Set up a game in this place? You haven't got a snowball's! Gambling, in here? 175 00:16:48,259 --> 00:16:52,619 In any nick, where there's a will, there's a way. 176 00:16:52,619 --> 00:17:00,819 You're so leery. They cut off your privileges here, for the toss of a coin. I've had mine cut off. 177 00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:03,159 Have you? 178 00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:07,679 Hasn't affected your voice, has it? 179 00:17:08,699 --> 00:17:16,239 They'll do you for any kind of gambling. Draughts, dominoes, even that spelling game. Scribble? 180 00:17:16,239 --> 00:17:21,799 Yes, Scribble. Venables has cracked down ever since the Earwig Derby. 181 00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:25,159 Earwig Derby? 182 00:17:25,159 --> 00:17:28,059 Yeah, the Earwig Derby. Tragic, that. 183 00:17:28,059 --> 00:17:30,999 What Earwig Derby, when was that? 184 00:17:30,999 --> 00:17:36,919 Last earwig season. Oh, well, then. Grouty ran it like the Jockey Club. 185 00:17:36,919 --> 00:17:40,259 Handicaps, eliminators, and the finale - 186 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:45,979 the Derby. Eight yards across the laundry. The whole prison was on. 187 00:17:45,979 --> 00:17:49,739 Until Mackay finds out. Ah, we never knew. 188 00:17:49,739 --> 00:17:53,319 What did he do? He put his foot down. 189 00:17:53,319 --> 00:17:56,179 Yeah, right on top of them! Splat! 190 00:17:56,179 --> 00:17:59,619 No need for that, though, was there? No. 191 00:17:59,619 --> 00:18:02,319 It's dice, is it? 192 00:18:02,319 --> 00:18:07,799 Morning, Mr Heslop. Are you with us? You never said it was dice. 193 00:18:07,799 --> 00:18:15,099 I did, yesterday. It obviously just permutated. Listen, you stand no chance at all. 194 00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:22,319 Yes I do, geraniums grow well in chalk, if they're moist and you keep cats away... 195 00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:28,719 Oh, hello, Mr Barrowclough. Evans? Ives, up to no good? Well, you usually are. 196 00:18:28,719 --> 00:18:31,739 We're both interested in geraniums. 197 00:18:31,739 --> 00:18:35,359 Yes, nice. My cousin bred them... Grew them. 198 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:37,719 ..Er, grew them. 199 00:18:37,719 --> 00:18:40,799 I'm a bit of a horticulturalist, too. 200 00:18:40,799 --> 00:18:43,459 Are you? Oh, Gawd. 201 00:18:43,459 --> 00:18:46,839 But no time for that. More's the pity. 202 00:18:46,839 --> 00:18:50,039 Evans, time to see the psychiatrist. 203 00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:53,939 Still trying to get yourself out by eating things? 204 00:18:53,939 --> 00:18:59,599 Yes, he's playing havoc with my possessions. And with my digestion. 205 00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:02,519 Here, where did you get the dice? 206 00:19:02,519 --> 00:19:07,639 Lukewarm made them out of pastry in the kitchen. He baked them. 207 00:19:07,639 --> 00:19:11,159 Won't they break? No, not his pastry. 208 00:19:11,159 --> 00:19:13,919 I'm very fond of geraniums. 209 00:19:15,879 --> 00:19:22,439 Flowers, things like that. Not that we had a garden. My house just had a yard. 210 00:19:22,439 --> 00:19:25,819 It had a bicycle and a wringer in it. 211 00:19:25,819 --> 00:19:29,439 But the wife's sister's house in Sidcup, 212 00:19:29,439 --> 00:19:36,879 that has a riot of colour. And what with his vegetables, she never had to want for nothing. 213 00:19:40,439 --> 00:19:42,579 That it? 214 00:19:42,579 --> 00:19:45,159 That's it, ain't it? 215 00:19:46,279 --> 00:19:53,299 It comes in short bursts. Poignant anecdotes from the rich pageant of Heslop's past. 216 00:19:53,299 --> 00:19:57,799 The Patience Strong of Block 11. I'm lucky to have him. 217 00:19:57,799 --> 00:20:02,559 I see why you dealt him in. No, no, first come, first served. 218 00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:08,379 You'll never get away with it. What? Organising this game. It's organised. 219 00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:14,379 You'll be caught. Put your money where your mouth is. How much? Try me. 220 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:19,639 A biggie? If you like. How big? Try me. Snout? Naturally. 221 00:20:19,639 --> 00:20:22,439 All right, then, half a pound. 222 00:20:24,219 --> 00:20:26,219 Fair enough. 223 00:20:26,219 --> 00:20:29,799 Did you hear what I said, half a pound? 224 00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:34,639 I heard you. That's eight ounces. Oh, nice one, Einstein. 225 00:20:34,639 --> 00:20:39,559 Let's get this perfectly clear, and you're witness, Heslop. 226 00:20:39,559 --> 00:20:46,639 I bet you half a pound of snout you get found out, busted, or whatever. You're on. 227 00:20:46,639 --> 00:20:48,199 Oh. 228 00:20:48,199 --> 00:20:51,759 Well, all right then. That's it, then. 229 00:20:53,239 --> 00:20:55,859 Right, I'll be off, then. 230 00:20:55,859 --> 00:21:00,359 I should lay some of that off, if I was you, my son. 231 00:21:02,919 --> 00:21:07,379 You've got a lot of bottle, Fletcher, a lot of bottle. 232 00:21:07,379 --> 00:21:11,199 I used to be a milkman, didn't I? 233 00:21:11,199 --> 00:21:17,279 Ah, here's my bloody polish. When I was doing bird in Shepton Mallet, 234 00:21:17,279 --> 00:21:22,779 we used to bet... Did you? ..on the number of bricks in a cell. 235 00:21:22,779 --> 00:21:27,059 Oh, that was original. How did you get on? 236 00:21:27,059 --> 00:21:30,679 All I know is, there was over 37. 237 00:21:36,279 --> 00:21:39,199 Roomy, wasn't it? Roomy, yeah. 238 00:21:39,199 --> 00:21:46,699 Know what we had going in Maidstone? ONLY roulette, that's all! With a dart board, see. 239 00:21:46,699 --> 00:21:53,039 You could bet on even or odd, see, or red or black, or single numbers, 240 00:21:53,039 --> 00:21:57,919 or groups of numbers. A blindfolded croupier threw the dart. 241 00:21:57,919 --> 00:22:05,399 We'd play in association hour, bribe the screw to turn a blind eye. A great game, mammoth. 242 00:22:05,399 --> 00:22:11,799 Crafty, that, roulette. Yeah, pity it had to end so tragically. What happened? 243 00:22:11,799 --> 00:22:18,799 The croupier got careless one day. Now the screw turns a blind eye to everything. 244 00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:38,839 You sure they won't find us in here? Lukewarm assures us that they won't. 245 00:22:38,839 --> 00:22:43,319 As a trusty, he's got access to the keys. Cosy, ain't it? 246 00:22:43,319 --> 00:22:50,979 They won't look here today. E-Wing are playing the screws at football, a game which commands attention. 247 00:22:50,979 --> 00:22:56,979 And the attention of the hospital. Should be a bloodbath, with any luck. 248 00:22:56,979 --> 00:23:04,839 I asked McCready to try his escape today. He's sure to cock it up and the diversion would have been handy. 249 00:23:04,839 --> 00:23:12,359 He refused, because, as he says, the state this country's in, you can't rely on the trains at weekends. 250 00:23:13,399 --> 00:23:20,779 I didn't know Tommy was escaping. Common knowledge. Domestic problems. His wife's got nerves. 251 00:23:20,779 --> 00:23:25,879 Getting on top of her? Not at all, she's sleeping with a limbo dancer. 252 00:23:25,879 --> 00:23:33,319 A limbo dancer? Black, is he? Black and blue, the way she goes on. Real raver, she is. 253 00:23:33,319 --> 00:23:38,419 Something to nibble on. Lovely, it's ages since I had a square meal. 254 00:23:38,419 --> 00:23:41,119 Not since my shaving mirror. 255 00:23:42,139 --> 00:23:48,539 You spoil us. With a mother like you, I might have gone straight. Or bent. 256 00:23:48,539 --> 00:23:53,079 Can I eat mine now? No, you can't. He's a big kid. 257 00:23:53,079 --> 00:23:57,239 One step outdoors, you want to start the picnic. 258 00:23:57,239 --> 00:24:04,879 First of all, rules. Minimum stake is one fag, right? You can't raise more than half the kitty. 259 00:24:04,879 --> 00:24:09,399 Losers - we must have losers - get 24 hours to pay, 260 00:24:09,399 --> 00:24:14,399 or Mr Heslop gives you a reminder, see, like the Post Office. 261 00:24:14,399 --> 00:24:16,719 Post Office? He sticks one on you. 262 00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:20,919 Are we all right, then? Right. 263 00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:24,359 And the game? The game, gentlemen... 264 00:24:25,459 --> 00:24:28,039 ..is snakes and ladders. 265 00:24:29,519 --> 00:24:34,039 I knew something was up. My antennae told me. 266 00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:38,259 I know when there's a big deal at Dodge City. 267 00:24:38,259 --> 00:24:45,399 Perhaps it's a waste of manpower to crack down on gambling. I mean, men WILL gamble. 268 00:24:45,399 --> 00:24:48,979 Gambling leads to debts, debts to ill-feeling, 269 00:24:48,979 --> 00:24:54,159 antagonism, indiscipline. Did your antennae tell you where the game is? 270 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:58,599 No, that was horrible Ives. No honour among thieves. 271 00:24:58,599 --> 00:25:06,459 Not with gambling at stake. That's why it must be stamped out. Where are they? We're getting warmer. 272 00:25:06,459 --> 00:25:09,039 Eh? They're down there. 273 00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:14,679 What, in the boilerhouse? In the coke store. Oh. 274 00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:17,319 Well, should we, er... 275 00:25:17,319 --> 00:25:20,119 No, no. Wait a moment. 276 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,679 I have arranged for a special delivery. 277 00:25:46,639 --> 00:25:50,159 THEY COUGH AND SPLUTTER 278 00:26:01,239 --> 00:26:05,599 Welcome to The Black And White Minstrel Show. 279 00:26:16,299 --> 00:26:19,039 Evening, Mr Fletcher. 280 00:26:21,239 --> 00:26:25,199 I hear that, this time, the COKE was on you. 281 00:26:26,279 --> 00:26:32,719 Very witty. Full of that irrepressible Liverpudlian wit, aren't you? 282 00:26:32,719 --> 00:26:37,299 What did the governor say? He said I'd betrayed his trust. 283 00:26:37,299 --> 00:26:43,799 I'd forfeit my position on the farm, and lose all privileges for four weeks. 284 00:26:43,799 --> 00:26:50,879 He said I'm unfit to be sharing with Heslop and Evans. He's moved me to a single cell. 285 00:26:50,879 --> 00:26:53,519 Oh, how tragic. I AM sorry. 286 00:26:53,519 --> 00:26:59,079 Don't give me that. I know you grassed, as does the whole prison. 287 00:26:59,079 --> 00:27:05,999 As you'll find out in the exercise yard. I'm not saying there'll be any unpleasantness - 288 00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:10,939 but borrow some shinpads from the PT instructor. 289 00:27:10,939 --> 00:27:16,559 Here... I hold nothing against you, you nasty, contemptuous little git. 290 00:27:16,559 --> 00:27:19,439 You was a pawn in my grand strategy. 291 00:27:19,439 --> 00:27:22,859 There's still the bet. You owe me, Fletcher. 292 00:27:22,859 --> 00:27:28,859 True. It may be a small consolation in the nightmare of your days ahead. 293 00:27:28,859 --> 00:27:30,839 Ready, Fletcher? 294 00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:37,079 I'll do a deal. Take the heat off me and I'll forget the bet. 295 00:27:37,079 --> 00:27:42,079 You can't raise half a pound of snout. I can, out of my winnings. 296 00:27:42,079 --> 00:27:45,119 What winnings? Win some, lose some. 297 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:49,939 I bet the entire landing I'd be in a single cell by Sunday. 298 00:27:49,939 --> 00:27:52,599 I'll be rolling in it.