>>> YOU'RE WATCHING NEW YORK ONE BECAUSE YOUR WI-FI IS DOWN.
LATER, A RECAP OF HOPE HICKS' EMOTIONAL TESTIMONY IN DONALD TRUMP'S HUSH MONEY TRIAL.
FIRST, IT'S COMMUNITY AFFAIRS WITH RYAN ABERNATHY. >>> GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO
COMMUNITY AFFAIRS. I'M RYAN ABERNATHY. COLLEGE STUDENTS HAVE BEEN
PROTESTING ON CAMPUSES ACROSS THE NATION. TONIGHT WE'LL BE DISCUSSING WITH
MY GUESTS WHO ARE PARENT STUDENTS OF COLLEGES IN NEW YORK.
JOIN ME IN WELCOMING THE NEW STUDENT PARENT, DOUG HOVING. SARAH HIMES.
>> HI. THANKS FOR HAVING ME. >> AND COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY DAD,
ALPHONSE ROBERTS. >> HI, RYAN, AND HELLO TO MY WIFE.
>> AS PARENTS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THESE PROTESTS ON CAMPUS? SARAH, WE'LL START WITH YOU.
>> FOR ME, IT'S BEEN TOUGH. I'M ALL FOR FREE SPEECH, BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY THINK
THEY'RE ACCOMPLISHING, AND THAT'S REALLY PUTTING A STRAIN ON ME AND MY DAUGHTER'S
RELATIONSHIP. >> YEAH. I WANT TO LET ME SON MAKE HIS
OWN CHOICES, BUT TO BE HONEST, IT'S A LITTLE SCARY. THESE PROTESTS ARE BECOMING WAY
MORE AGGRESSIVE. >> RIGHT. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, MY
DAUGHTER IS AN ADULT AND HAS TO LIVE HER OWN LIFE. >> WELL, I THINK IT'S JUST
GREAT. IT'S WONDERFUL. NOTHING MAKES ME PROUDER THAN
YOUNG PEOPLE USING THEIR VOICES TO FIGHT FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE? >> WOW.
THAT'S VERY ENCOURAGING. >> YOUR DAUGHTER MUST FEEL SO SUPPORTED WHEN SHE'S OUT THERE.
>> WHAT'S THAT NOW? WHEN WHOSE DAUGHTER IS OUT THERE?
>> AT THE PROTEST. >> NO, NO, NO. HUH-HUH, MAN.
YOU BUGGEN. ALEXIS VANESSA ROBERTS BETTER HAVE HER BUTT IN CLASS.
LET ME FIND OUT SHE IN ONE OF THEM DAMN TENTS INSTEAD THE DORM ROOM THAT I PAY FOR.
>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN FAVOR OF THE STUDENT PROTESTS? >> BROTHER MAN, I AM SUPPORTIVE
OF Y'ALL'S KIDS PROTESTING, NOT MY KIDS. MY KIDS KNOW BETTER.
SHOOT, ALEXIS VANESSA AIN'T CRAZY. >> YOUR DAUGHTER ATTENDS COLUMN
BOO I CAN'T. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE STUDENTS THAT TOOK OVER HAMILTON
HALL? >> THAT'S GOOD FOR Y'ALL'S KIDS, BUT THEY AIN'T MINE.
YOU FEEL ME, RYAN? >> YES, I FEEL YOU, ALPHONSE. TELL ME, WITH THE RISE IN
ATTENDANCE IN THIS PROGRAM, HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL ABOUT THE POLICE PRESENCE?
>> I'M VERY CONCERNED. ONE OF MY WORST FEARS IS MY DAUGHTER BEING THROWN BEHIND
BAR. THIS IS A CRUCIAL TIME IN HER LIFE, AND I WOULD HATE FOR HER
TO HAVE AN ARREST FOLLOW HER FOREVER. >> MAN, I AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT
5-0. THAT IS NOT MY BUSINESS. MY BUSINESS IS ALEXIS VANESSA
ROBERTS. SHE AIN'T TALKING ABOUT NO FREE THIS, FREE THAT.
I TELL YOU WHAT AIN'T FREE, COLUMBIA. SHOOT.
DO Y'ALL KNOW THAT THEY GOT THE NERVE TO WANT 68,000 A YEAR. >> I MEAN, WE TOTALLY RESPECT
THEIR RIGHT TO PROTEST, BUT I MEAN WE'RE ALSO MAKING SACRIFICES FOR OUR KIDS.
>> YEAH. I'M OUT HERE BUSTING MY HUMP TO PAY ALL THAT TUITION.
>> WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? >> SISTER GIRL, I DO IT ALL. UBER ALL DAY, UBER EATS ALL
NIGHT, CUT GRASS ON THE WEEKENDS, SELL GUCCI WALLETS OUT MY TRUNK, LIFE COACHING ON IG.
I BOUNTY HUNT WHENEVER POSSIBLE. ALL THAT SO SHE CAN SAY SHE GOT A DEGREE IN AFRICAN-AMERICAN
STUDIES. LOOK, GIRL, YOU BEEN BLACK YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS. >> THAT'S QUITE AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR DAUGHTER.
>> DAMN SKIPPY IT IS. SHE'S GIFTED, THOUGH. SHE GON' CHANGE THE WORLD.
SHE DAMN SURE BETTER. >> I'M SURE SHE WILL. >> YES, YES, SHE WILL.
SHE'S WORTH EVERY PENNY, AND I KNOW I SOUND MAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW, BUT YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL
GRADUATION WHEN YOU SEE THAT SMILE ACROSS MY FACE WHEN I HEAR THAT NAME ALEXIS VANESSA ROBERTS
AND I WATCH HER WALK ACROSS THAT STAGE. >> I ACTUALLY HEARD A FEW
SCHOOLS ARE FULLY CANCELING THEIR GRADUATION CEREMONIES. >> SISTER GIRL, I DON'T THINK
YOU GET IT. ALEXIS VANESSA WILL BE GRADUATED, EVEN IF I GOT TO DO
IT MYSELF. BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT AT THE END OF THIS MONTH, I AM
PUTTING ON MY CHURCH CLOTHES, THREE PUMPS ON COOL WATER COLOGNE, SMELLING GOOD AS A MUG,
AND THEN, BAM, I'M HOPPING IN MY '98 FORD EXPLORER, BLASTING SOME ANITA BAKER, AND YOU BETTER
BELIEVE I'M GOING TO BE IN THERE HOOTING AND HOLLERING AFTER THEY EXPLICITLY TOLD US TO WAIT UNTIL
THE END. THAT'S ALL I KNOW. >> WOW.
GOT IT ALL PLANNED OUT. >> YEAH. YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK.
THIS GIRL STARTED HER COLLEGE DURING COVID, HAD ME OUT HERE PAYING $68,000 FOR TUITION, AND
SHE IN MY HOUSE TAKING CLASSES ON ZOOM AND LEARNING ABOUT THE APPLIED HISTORY OF THE B.E.T.
AWARDS. MAN, IF SHE DON'T WALK, COLUMBIA GOING TO BE ON THE NEWS FOR
SOMETHING ELSE. THAT'S ALL I KNOW. AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
SATURDAY NIGHT!
>> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH --
FEATURING --
HOST AND MUSICAL GUEST -- DUA LIPA.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DUA LIPA! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
MY NAME IS DUA LIPA. OR AS SOME PEOPLE CALL ME, DULA PEEP.
BUT DUA LIPA IS MY REAL NAME. DUA IS ALBANIAN FOR LOVE, AND LIPA IS ALBANIAN FOR -- MY LAST
NAME. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK IN 30 ROCK.
I ACTUALLY MADE MY U.S. TV DEBUT EIGHT YEARS AGO DOWNSTAIRS ON THE TONIGHT SHOW.
SO THIS BUILDING DOES FEEL A LOT LIKE HOME. AND ESPECIALLY TONIGHT, BECAUSE
MY PARENTS ARE HERE IN THE AUDIENCE. AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY'RE KIND OF
COOL. THEY LOVE TO PARTY. ONE NIGHT, I WAS OUT WITH MY
FRIENDS AND WE ENDED UP AT THE CLUB AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING AND WHO DO I BUMP INTO BUT MY
PARENTS, WHICH WAS EMBARRASSING BECAUSE THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO SEE WHEN YOU'RE SUPER HIGH
AND DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS IS YOUR DAUGHTER. BUT REALLY, THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN
SO SUPPORTIVE. THEY LET ME MOVE TO LONDON WHEN I WAS JUST 15 TO START MY
CAREER, AND NOW MY THIRD ALBUM JUST DROPPED, AND IT'S CALLED "RADICAL OPTIMISM."THE A LOT OF
PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT THAT MEANS. TO ME, IT'S LIKE LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF ANY SITUATION.
HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU. SOMEONE TELL ME A PROBLEM YOU'RE HAVING.
YES, YOU, SIR. >> HI. MY WIFE LEFT ME BECAUSE DURING
SEX, I ACCIDENTALLY CALLED HER MOM. >> WELL, ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, NOW
YOU'LL HAVE MORE TIME TO SPEND WITH YOUR MOM. SEE?
RADICAL OPTIMISM. OKAY. SOMEONE ELSE.
YOU. >> YES, HELLO, DUA. YESTERDAY I WENT TO THE DOCTOR,
AND SHE SAID -- YES, MY DOCTOR IS A WOMAN -- ANYWAY, THAT BITCH SAID I HAD TO STOP DRINKING.
>> WELL, ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, THERE'S ALWAYS POPPERS. SEE.
YOU CAN PUT A POSITIVE SPIN ON ANYTHING. YES, YOU.
>> HI. I'M SOUTH DAKOTA GOVERNOR KRISTI NOEM.
>> NO, NO, SORRY. I CAN'T HELP. LOOK, WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS, EVEN
ME. LIKE THERE'S PEOPLE ONLINE WHO SAY, DUA LIPA IS ALWAYS ON
VACATION. WHICH IS TOTALLY WRONG BECAUSE I'M BRITISH, SO WE CALL IT A
HOLIDAY. AND THERE'S PEOPLE WHO CALLED MY DANCING LAZY AND SAID, GO, GIRL,
GIVE US NOTHING. BUT I DIDN'T GIVE YOU NOTHING, I GAVE YOU THE GREATEST MEME OF
ALL TIME. AND NOW, I'M HERE, I'M HOSTING, I'M PERFORMING, I'M MAKING THE
WIGS, DEALING ADDERALL TO THE WRITERS. I'M DOING IT ALL.
SO TONIGHT, I PROMISE I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU EVERYTHING. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. I'M HERE, STICK AROUND WE|LL BE RIGHT BACK
>>> WHAT IS UP, LADIES? I APPRECIATE Y'ALL COMING IN TO
HELP. MY NAME IS YOUNG SPICY. >> HOW YOU DOING?
>> WHAT'S GOOD. >> THIS IS BERNARD. HE'S GOING TO BE RECORDING US
TODAY. >> HAPPY TO BE HERE. LET'S GET THIS THING STARTED.
>> I'M LOOKING FOR A NEW PRODUCER TAG TO PLAY AT THE BEGINNING OF MY SONG.
SOMETHING REAL COOL LIKE -- >> OH, MY GOD. >> OR EVEN THIS ONE.
>> I'M WORKING. >> WE CAN DO THAT. >> WE GOT YOU.
>> COOL. WE'LL PLAY THE BEAT AND THEN YOU PLAY SOMETHING LIKE GET 'EM
SPICY OR SPICY ON THE TRACK. >> GREAT. WE'LL GIVE YOU SOME OPTIONS.
>> ALL RIGHT. TAKE ONE. >> OOH, YOUNG SPICY GOT THAT
HEAT. >> THIS WAY TOO SPICY. >> YEAH, EXACTLY.
JUST LIKE THAT. KEEP THAT GOING. >> OOH, YOUNG SPICY FLAMING.
>> OOH, SPICY'S HIDING SOMETHING. >> SPICY IN THE CLOSET FO SHO.
>> DAMN SPICY, WHY YOUR WRISTS SO LIMP? >> STOP, STOP THAT.
ALL RIGHT. OKAY. SO I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
MENACING AND COOL, NOT ABOUT MY SEXUALITY, WHICH I'M STILL FIGURING OUT BY THE WAY.
>> OKAY. >> SEE, YOU SHOULD'VE JUST SAID THAT.
>> ALL RIGHT. LET'S RUN THAT BACK ONE TIME. >> OOH, SPICY'S SUPER STRAIGHT.
>> DAMN, SPICY SO STRAIGHT IT'S FRIGHTENING. >> SPICY GET AGGRESSIVE WHEN YOU
QUESTION THAT. >> HEY, SPICY, DON'T GRAB LIKE THAT.
SPICY, OW, THAT HURTS. >> LET GO OF MY ARM, SPICY. >> CUT, CUT.
>> THAT'S A CUT. >> ALL RIGHT. HEY, PLEASE DON'T SAY I'M SCARY
TO WOMEN. ALL RIGHT? THAT IS NOT THE VIBE THAT I'M
GOING FOR. >> SO YOU'RE SAYING NO TO THAT? >> DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO WE ARE?
>> YEAH, Y'ALL ARE TWO BADDIES FROM TASK RABBIT. Y'ALL DO VOICEOVERS AND JUNK
REMOVAL. JUST SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY BEATS, SOMETHING LIKE YOUNG
SPICY TOO NASTY. >> OF COURSE. WE CAN DO THAT.
>> THAT'S EASY. >> LET'S GO AHEAD AND MAKE THIS ONE QUICK.
IN ABOUT 90 SECONDS I NEED TO DROP SOME QUARTERS IN THE METER. MIGHT NEED SOME CHANGE FROM
Y'ALL TOO. HERE WE GO. >> OOH, SPICY, YOU WILD FOR
THIS. >> EXACTLY. COUPLE MORE LIKE THAT.
>> DAMN, SPICY, A FREAK FOR REAL. >> I LIKE THAT ONE, YEAH.
>> SPICY, WHY YOU DM'ing HIGH SCHOOLERS? >> TAKE A SEAT, SPICY.
I NAME IS CHRIS HANSON. >> DAMN SPICY, WHY DID YOU DRIVE FOUR HOURS TO THE CLEVELAND
SUBURBS IN A SUCK SEE DOE. >> AND WHY YOU ONLY HAVE KY JELLY IN YOUR BAG?
>> I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE I'M A PERVERT IN A STING OPERATION, ALL RIGHT?
WHEN WE GO AGAIN THIS NEXT TIME, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE SETUP. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS FILL IN THE
BLANK. YOU GOT TIME FOR ONE MORE? >> MEAN, THE METER IS PAST DUE,
MAN. I'M SURE IT'S FINE. ONE MORE.
>> ALL RIGHT. SO SOMETHING LIKE, OO HARDSHIP, SPICY GOT THAT --
>> VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER CHARGE. >> NO, NO.
SOMETHING LIKE, SPICY GOT THAT -- >> ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.
>> PLEASE, COME ON, NOTHING ABOUT MY BODY. ONE MORE TIME.
ALL RIGHT. OOH, SPICY GOT THAT -- >> OUTDATED WAY OF THINKING.
>> SPICY LOW KEY A TRUMP SUPPORTER. >> NO, NO.
>> CUT. >> OKAY. SO I GUESS Y'ALL JUST PREFER JOE
BIDEN, WHATEVER. ALL RIGHT. FORGET IT.
>> LOOK, THE MAN WANTS SOMETHING SIMPLE, SOMETHING LIKE -- SPICY IN THE HOOD.
>> YEP, THAT'S IT. >> BY LAW, HE GOT TO NOTIFY HIS NEIGHBORS.
>> OH, COME ON!
** >>> BRAVO, BRAVO.
MR. BECKWITH, THE PLAY TONIGHT WAS EXTRAORDINARY, A REAL TRIUMPH.
>> THANK YOU, MS. EMILY. >> I MUST MEET THE PLAY WRIGHT. >> I'M AFRAID HE'S RATHER
PRIVATE. >> PLEASE. I FEEL LIKE OUR SOULS ARE ONE,
AND YET I ONLY KNOW HIM AS THE ANOMALOUS MAN. >> IF YOU INSIST.
I MUST WARN YOU, EVEN IF YOU ARE SHOCKED BY HIS APPEARANCE, YOU MUSN'T SHOW IT.
IT WOULD DESTROY HIM.
PETER, YOU HAVE A GUEST. >> A GUEST?
FOR ME? ARE YOU EVER SO SURE? >> HELLO, PETER.
I'M MS. EMILY. >> MISS, PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I'M A MONSTER, A HIDEOUS MONSTER. >> YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER, I
HAPPEN TO THINK YOU'RE THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN I'VE EVER SEEN. >> WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND.
>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME, PETER? >> I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.
I REPULSE YOU, DO I NOT? I REPULSE EVERYONE. >> NO, NO.
IT'S OKAY. I LIKE TO WATCH YOU TAKE DOWN FOOD.
IT REMINDS ME OF BACK HOME ON THE FARM. OH.
>> OH. >> WHAT'S WRONG, PETER? >> WELL, I'VE NEVER KNOWN THE
PLEASURE OF A WOMAN'S TOUCH BEFORE. >> OH, MY.
CAN IT SEE? >> YES. AND YOU'VE NEVER LOOKED MORE
BEAUTIFUL. >> READY? >> YES.
LET ME JUST PACK MY MEAGER BELONGINGS. READY.
GOOD-BYE, OLD ROOM. GOOD-BYE, OLD LIFE. AND HELLO, LOVE.
>> ARE YOU HAPPY, PETER? >> I'M ONE OF THE SORROWFUL ONES, AND YET YOU HAVE BROUGHT
LIFE INTO A HEART THAT HAS ONLY KNOWN DARKNESS. >> GOOD NIGHT, MY PRINCE.
ARE YOU TEXTING SOMEONE? >> NO. >> WHAT DID YOU JUST HIDE?
>> NOTHING. >> OH, MY GOD. YOU HAVE A SECOND PHONE.
>> JUST FOR WORK AND SUCH. >> SHE'S ASLEEP, WASH THAT ASS AND GET TO THE HOLIDAY INN, I'M
TRYING TO SHOW YOU WHAT THIS SNOUT DO. >> PRETTY SURE THAT'S WORK
RELATED. >> FEELING HORNY AS A MOFO. >> I THINK THAT WAS A TYPO.
>> AND SHE RESPONDED I'M GOING TO RIDE YOUR FACE UNTIL IT LOOKS NORMAL.
>> WRONG NUMBER PERHAPS. >> YOU SENT HER THIS PICTURE WITH THE CAPTION, POV, YOU'RE
ABOUT TO GET RAILED BY A WEIRDO. >> I CAN'T HELP BUT WRITE POETRY.
>> POETRY? LIKE THIS, YOUR BUTT, MY FACE, PRAYER HANDS EMOJI.
>> I THINK I'LL JUST BE GOING NOW. >> HOW MANY MORE PHONES DO YOU
HAVE? >> WHO'S TO SAY REALLY? >> I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE.
>> JUST PACKING MY MEAGER THINGS. HAVE YOU SEEN MY PILE OF DUST?
>> GET OUT YOU UGLY FREAK! >> YOU KNOW, WE NEVER REALLY SAID WE WERE EXCLUSIVE, BUT
OKAY. >> WOULD YOU LIKE THAT. >> YES I WOULD.
>> WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? >> HE SAID I BROUGHT LIGHT TO A
HEART THAT HAD ONLY KNOWN DARKNESS. >> THAT'S WHAT HE SAYS TO
EVERYONE! >> WHAT? GET OUT OF HERE, YOU PIG!
>> GOING, GOING. >> HE IS A GREAT WRITER. >> I MEAN, YEAH, HE'S A GENIUS.
* TIME TO WAKE UP AND STAND UP TALL AND TELL YOUR NEIGHBOR GOOD
MORNING Y'ALL * GOOD MORNING, GREENVILLE. >>> GOOD MORNING, Y'ALL.
>> GOOD MORNING, GREENVILLE. >> IT'S YOUR GIRL GAIL GOHNSON. >> AND YOUR BOY MASON MONROE
REPORTING FOR BOOTY. WHAT? I'M SILLY TODAY.
>> WELL, SPRING HAS DEFINITELY SPRUNG HERE IN SOUTH CAROLINA, AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT ALL
THE BUZZ IS ABOUT, IT'S CICADAS. >> THEY ONLY APPEAR EVERY 17 YEARS.
SOUNDS LIKE HOW OFTEN MY DAUGHTER COMES OUT OF HER ROOM. >> SOUNDS LIKE HOW OFTEN MY
HUSBAND TAKES ME OUT FOR DINNER. >> BUT HE'S A GOOD MAN. >> UNTIL HE DRINKS.
>> MM HMM. LATER ON IN THE PROGRAM, IS SOUP ACTUALLY BAD FOR YOU.
>> THE ANSWER WON'T SURPRISE YOU. IT'S NO.
BUT FIRST, WE NEED TO GET REAL SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT, Y'ALL, AND TALK ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING IN
THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. >> YEAH. WE REALLY DO.
>> EVERYONE KEEPS COMING UP TO ME AND ASKING, GAIL, WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THIS DRAKE/KENDRICK
LAMAR FEUD. >> PEOPLE KEEP ASKING, ARE YOU TEAM KENDRICK OR TEAM DRAKE, AND
I'M LIKE, CAN'T I BE TEAM RAP IN GENERAL? BECAUSE EVERY RAPPER IS GETTING
MIXED INTO THIS BEEF LIKE THEY WERE CHOPPED ONIONS AND CAYENNE PEPPER.
I MEAN, YOU GOT KANYE, TWO PACK, SHOOP DOG, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, ROCKY.
>> AND WHERE DOES WAYNE BRADY STAND? HAS HE RESPONDED?
>> NOW, OUR WEATHER MAN DEREK LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO JUMP IN ON THIS.
>> OH, THAT'S OKAY. >> WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER, DEREK?
IS IT RIYONCE, LL COOL BEANS? >> IS IT OLD DIRTY DONKEY? >> PLEASE LET ME DO THE WEATHER
AND GO HOME. >> HILARIOUS. WELL, THERE HAVE BEEN ABOUT A
DOZEN DISS TRACKS BETWEEN KENDRICK AND DRAKE, INCLUDING THREE RELEASED YESTERDAY.
OUR LOCAL CULTURE CRITIC HAS BEEN DOING A DEEP DIVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HECK THEY
MEAN. PLEASE WELCOME WANDA WEEMS. >> Y'ALL, THESE DISS TRACKS ARE
GETTING INSANE. I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR THE PAST 48 HOURS TRYING TO PIECE IT ALL
TOGETHER. >> NOW, WANDA, YOU NORMALLY TEACH PIANO AT THE LOCAL GRADE
SCHOOL. WHICH RAP SONGS DO YOU TEACH? >> MOSTLY ELTON JOHN.
>> OH, OKAY. HE IS GOOD. >> YEAH, HE'S OLD SCHOOL RAP.
>> YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD PUT OUT A DISS TRACK ABOUT YOU, MASON.
YOUR HAIR IS MESSY AND YOU DON'T GO TO CHURCH. #.
>> WHAT WAS THAT? THAT HURTS. >> UH-OH, KENDRICK, GAIL IS
COMING FOR THE THRONE. >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. MAYBE.
WELL, DEREK'S OVER THERE LOVING IT. >> OH, I SEE YOU.
I SEE YOU HIDING, DEREK. LOOK AT YOU. NOW, WANDA, WHAT HAVE YOU
LEARNED SO FAR? >> WELL, HERE'S ONE CLUE ON THE SONG EUPHORIA WHEN KENDRICK
DESCRIBES DRAKE AS CANADIAN, THAT'S BECAUSE DRAKE IS FROM TORONTO.
>> OH. >> OKAY. >> OKAY.
>> AND HE CALLS DRAKE CRODIE, WHICH IS A TERM USED BY THE CRIPS, WHICH ACCORDING TO
WIKAPEDIA IS AN ALLIANCE OF STREET GANGS BASED IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
>> I THINK I KNOW THE CRIPS. ARE THEY LIKE KROGER? >> NO.
I THINK THAT'S A GROCERY STORE. CRIPS SET UP THE CAMERAS ON MOVIE SETS.
>> OH, OKAY. >> NOW, IN DRAKE'S DISS TRACK, QUESTIONED KENDRICK'S MANHOOD
SAYING HE WEARS A SIZE SEVEN SHOE. >> I DON'T GET THAT.
I WEAR A SIZE FIVE. >> AND IT'S A WOMEN'S FIVE, SO IT'S A MAN'S THREE.
>> A MAN'S THREE, CORRECT. >> BUT NOW, DRAKE IS BEING SUED BY 2 PAC'S ESTATE FOR USING AN
AI VERSION OF HIS VOICE. >> FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION AI BECAUSE WE HAVE SOME AI THAT CAN
SETTLE THIS SILLY FEUD ONCE AND FOR ALL. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME KENDRICK LAMAR AND DRAKE. >> NAH.
>> OH, HI, DRAKE. >> OH, HELLO, KENDRICK. NOW, WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SAYING
ALL THIS MEAN STUFF ABOUT ME? >> YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE RIGHT. SHAME ON ME FOR DOING THOSE MEAN
RAPS ABOUT YOU. >> WELL, BLESS YOUR HEART FOR SAYING THAT.
SHAME ON ME TOO, I SUPPOSE. >> OH, AND I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID IN MY SONG.
YOU CAN SAY THE N WORD. >> OOH, I THINK I WILL. >> WELL, COME ON THEN.
LET'S SAY IT TOGETHER. >> WHAT THE -- >> WELL, I'M HEARING FROM OUR
PRODUCERS THAT WE NEED TO TAKE A QUICK BUT ALSO VERY LONG BREAK. >> NOW, WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL
PLAY A NEW CELEBRITY GAME INSPIRED BY KENDRICK'S SONG. WE'LL HAVE TO DECIDE IF THE
CELEBRITY IS BLACK OR NOT BLACK. >> HONESTLY, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR ANSWERS, YEAH.
* TELL YOUR NEIGHBOR GOOD * MORNING Y|ALL
>>> I'M HAVING SUCH A GREAT NIGHT WITH YOU.
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME. YOUR PLACE IS SO NICE. >> OH, THANKS.
YOU PROBABLY SEE A LOT OF GIRLS' APARTMENTS. >> NOT REALLY.
YOU KNOW, MOST OF THE GIRLS I DATE LIVE IN HOUSES. WHOA.
WHAT IS THAT? >> OH, MY LAMP THAT LOOKS LIKE BREAD?
I KNOW, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A LAMP. >> NO.
YOUR WALL OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE 500 NAKED TOY DOLLS. >> OH, THOSE ARE MY SUNNY
ANGELS. AND IT'S NOT 500. IT'S NOT EVEN THE FULL 650 THAT
YOU CAN COLLECT. AND THEY'RE NOT NAKED. THEY'RE WEARING TINY LITTLE
HATS. AREN'T THEY SO CUTE? >> YEAH.
I THINK I'VE SEEN THOSE ON SHY TEENAGERS' PHONE CASES. WHAT ARE THEY?
>> SUNNY ANGELS. THEY'RE HUGE. THEY'RE COMPANIONS FOR LONELY
25-YEAR-OLD WORKING WOMEN. >> THAT'S SO SPECIFIC. >> DON'T DISRUPT.
LOOK, IT SAYS IT ON THE BOX. SUNNY ANGELS ARE LITTLE BOYFRIENDS.
I'M OBSESSED WITH THEM. >> LITTLE BOYFRIENDS, HUH? I GUESS I'VE GOT SOME
COMPETITION. >> COMPETITION, OF COURSE NOT. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
NOT WITH ALL OF THEM. JUST WITH HIM. >> HEY.
I'M HER LITTLE BOYFRIEND. >> WHOA. THEY CAN TALK?
>> THAT ONE CAN. HE'S SPECIAL. >> BECAUSE I'M HER LITTLE
BOYFRIEND. I'M PART OF THE SUNNY ANGELS FRUIT SERIES, AND JUDGING BY THE
WAY YOU DRESS, YOU'RE A FRUIT TOO. >> NICE GRAPES.
I ALMOST DIDN'T NOTICE THEM OVER YOUR EXTREMELY LITTLE PENIS AND PERFECTLY SMOOTH BELLY BODY.
>> OOH, SOMEONE'S JEALOUS. >> I'M SORRY. IS THIS THE MUSIC FROM
CHALLENGERS? >> IT IS. THE SCORE IS STRESSFUL, BUT
HORNY TOO. >> COOL. I HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE.
>> WELL, DON'T WORRY BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO LIVE IT. >> THIS IS GREAT.
I LOVE THAT YOU'RE VOLLEYING BACK AND FORTH. IT'S LIKE A TENNIS MATCH.
HERE, YOU TWO SIT ON THE COUCH. >> JUST THE TWO OF US? >> I'M GOING TO GO FIX US A
SNACK. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. >> JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH.
HAVE YOU GUYS HOOKED UP? >> DUDE, I'M NOT ANSWERING THAT. >> IT'S NOT LIKE I CARE.
JUST TELL ME. >> I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT WITH YOU, MAN.
>> OKAY. FINE. JUST GIVE ME A SIGNAL.
IF YOU'VE SLEPT WITH HER, DO YOUR LITTLE POSE WITH YOUR ARMS AND LOOK TO THE LEFT LIKE THIS.
>> WELL, I DON'T KISS AND TELL, BUT -- >> WHOA!
HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK? HOW OLD ARE YOU? >> I'M 41, OKAY, SO IT'S NOT
WEIRD. >> YES, IT IS! >> FINALLY, TWO BOYS WHO CAN
ACTUALLY COMPETE. OKAY. I'M BACK.
WITH CHURROS. THE MOST PENIS DESERT. I SURE HOPE IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU
TWO ACT BICURIOUS. >> OKAY. WHAT IS CHALLENGERS ABOUT?
>> TENNIS. >> IN WHAT WAY? >> BECAUSE THE WOMAN USES MEN
LIKE TOYS LIKE TENNIS. >> SHOOT, I FORGOT THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE.
BRB. >> JUST SO YOU KNOW, SHE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU.
>> WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT SOMEONE TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME? >> HMM, GIVE ME SOME.
MM. IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU LIT UP ABOUT SOMETHING, EVEN IF THAT
SOMETHING IS MY BIG GIRLFRIEND. IT'S WHAT'S BEEN MISSING FROM YOUR TENNIS.
>> WHAT TENNIS? >> I'M BACK. HERE.
WHY DON'T I SIT IN BETWEEN YOU BOYS? >> OKAY.
>> HMM, I LIKE THIS. >> ME TOO. SO, HOW DOES THIS WORK?
>> FIRST, YOU TWO KISS. >> UM, OKAY. WHOA.
I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD. >> DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL MAKE A GREAT SUNNY ANGEL.
>> OH, MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? >> NOW WE'RE BOTH LITTLE
BOYFRIENDS.
>>> IT'S THERE FOR US WHEN WE GATHER TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
>> AND WHEN WE GATHER TO SAY HELLO. >> IT'S THERE FOR US --
>> WHEN ONE CHAPTER ENDS. >> AND WHEN A NEW ONE BEGINS. >> IT'S THERE WHEN WE BRING HOME
THE WIN. >> AND THERE WHEN WE LEAVE HOME FOR OUR NEXT ADVENTURE.
>> WHENEVER WE GATHER, FOR REASONS HAPPY OR SAD, IT'S THERE FOR US.
A BIG ASS ALUMINUM TRAY OF PENNE ALLA VODKA. >> LOVED BY NONE, BUT TOLERATED
BY ALL. >> BECAUSE IT'S NOT THAT GOOD. BUT IT'S NOT THAT BAD EITHER.
>> IT MAY NOT STAY HOT, BUT IT NEVER GETS ALL THE WAY COLD. >> WITH A NAME FANCY ENOUGH FOR
ADULTS BUT A TASTE BLAND ENOUGH FOR CHILDREN. >> BECAUSE WE MAY NOT AGREE ON
MUCH, BUT WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT A BIG ASS ALUMINUM TRAY OF PENNE ALLA VODKA IS FINE.
>> WHEN WE GRIEVE. >> WHEN WE CELEBRATE. >> WHEN WE HONOR OUR LIFE'S
WORK. >> A BIG FAT TRAY OF PENNE ALLA VODKA.
>> SERVED BY A SLIPPERY PLASTIC SPOON. >> WITH A LITTLE DELI CONTAINER
OF PARMESAN CHEESE NEXT TO IT. >> AND A SALAD ABSOLUTELY DRENCHED IN CREAMY BALSAMIC.
>> FOR ALL OF LIFE'S MOMENTS BIG OR SMALL WHEREVER WE GATHER, IT'S THERE FOR US.
PENNE ALLA VODKA FROM THE MAKERS OF UNTOUCHED TRAY OF COOKIES.
>>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DUA LIPA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ** * I BEEN KNOWN TO
MISS A RED FLAG I BEEN KNOWN TO PUT MY LOVER ON A PEDESTAL *
* IN THE END THOSE THINGS JUST DON'T LAST * * AND IT'S TIME I TAKE
MY ROSE-COLORED GLASSES OFF * * I ALREADY KNOW YOUR TYPE
TELLIN' ME THE THINGS I LIKE * * TRYIN' MAKE ME YOURS
FOR LIFE TAKIN' ME FOR A RIDE * * I ALREADY KNOW YOUR TYPE
THINK YOU CAN PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT * * DON'T YOU KNOW
I COULD DO THIS DANCE ALL NIGHT OOH *
* OOH WHAT YOU DOIN' DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK THAT
YOU'RE CONFUSIN' * * I BE LIKE OOH IT'S AMUSIN'
YOU THINK I'M GONNA FALL FOR AN ILLUSION * * DANCE ALL NIGHT
DANCE ALL NIGHT DANCE ALL NIGHT DANCE ALL NIGHT *
* I BE LIKE DANCE ALL NIGHT DANCE ALL NIGHT
DANCE ALL NIGHT * * DANCE DANCE WAS A TIME WHEN THAT
-- MIGHT HAVE WORKED * * WAS A TIME WHEN I JUST THREW A MATCH
AND LET IT BURN NOW I'M GROWN * * I KNOW WHAT I DESERVE
I STILL LIKE DANCIN' WITH THE LESSONS I ALREADY LEARNED *
* I ALREADY KNOW YOUR TYPE TELLIN' ME THE THINGS I LIKE *
* TRYIN' MAKE ME YOURS FOR LIFE TAKIN' ME FOR A RIDE *
* I ALREADY KNOW YOUR TYPE THINK YOU CAN PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT *
* DON'T YOU KNOW I COULD DO THIS DANCE ALL NIGHT *
* OOH WHAT YOU DOIN' DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE CONFUSIN' *
* I BE LIKE OOH IT'S AMUSIN' YOU THINK I'M GONNA
FALL FOR AN ILLU-U-U-USION * * DANCE ALL NIGHT DANCE ALL NIGHT
DANCE ALL NIGHT * * I BE LIKE
DANCE ALL NIGHT DANCE ALL NIGHT DANCE ALL NIGHT *
* DANCE DANCE ILLUSION I REALLY LIKE
THE WAY YOU'RE MOVIN' * * YEAH I JUST WANNA DANCE WITH THE ILLUSION *
* YEAH I JUST WANNA DANCE WITH YEAH
I JUST WANNA DANCE WITH * * I COULD DANCE ALL NIGHT **
* OOH WHAT YOU DOIN' DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK
THAT YOU'RE CONFUSIN' I BE LIKE * * OOH IT'S AMUSIN'
YOU THINK I'M GONNA FALL FOR AN ILLU-U-U OOH WHAT YOU DOIN' *
* DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE CONFUSIN' I BE LIKE
OOH IT'S AMUSIN' * * YOU THINK I'M GONNA FALL FOR AN ILLU-U-U-USION *
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND
MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GOOD EVENING. THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST.
WELL, IT'S THE FIRST SHOW OF SPRING, SO WE'LL START TONIGHT WITH PUPPY MURDER.
IN A NEW BOOK, SOUTH DAKOTA GOVERNOR KRISTI NOEM REVEALED SHE ONCE SHOT A DOG THAT WAS
UNTRAINABLE. THAT'S INSANE. IF A TO GO IS UNTRAINABLE, YOU
DON'T SHOOT IT. YOU GIVE IT TO PRESIDENT BIDEN. MAGA INSIDERS ARE SAYING NOEM,
SEEN HERE WEARING THE HAIR OF THAT DOG, NOW HAS ZERO CHANCE OF BEING TRUMP'S RUNNING MATE.
I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING TELLS ME TRUMP WOULD FULLY SUPPORT KILLING
DISOBEDIENT PETS. >> INSIDERS SAID THAT DURING HIS HUSH MONEY TRIAL, DONALD TRUMP
COMPLAINED THAT NONE OF HIS SUPPORTERS WERE IN COURT WITH HIM.
THAT'S NOT TRUE. WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE COPS? >> FORMER PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
SEEN HERE DEFINITELY NOT SLEEPING, PROBABLY JUST PRAYING, FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR THE
FIRST TIME IN HIS TRIAL WROTE A MESSAGE ON A YELLOW POST-IT NOTE AND HANDED IT TO HIS LAWYER
WHILE HE WAS MAKING AN ARGUMENT. THE POST-IT READ SIMPLY, CAN'T PAY YOU.
>> OFFICIALS AT COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY COMPLAINED THAT PROTESTORS BROKE WINDOWS AND
DESTROYED SCHOOL PROPERTY. SO WHAT, COLLEGES ALSO DO THAT WHEN THEY WIN THE FINAL FOUR.
ALSO, IF YOU DON'T WANT STUDENTS TO FREAK OUT, STOP TELLING THEM THE TRUTH.
THAT'S MY ADVICE FOR SCHOOL AND RELATIONSHIPS. PRESIDENT BIDEN SAID THE
NATIONAL GUARD SHOULD NOT BE CALLED IN TO DEAL WITH CAMPUS PROTESTS.
I'M JUST HAPPY HE'S FINALLY NOT SENDING MILITARY AID SOMEWHERE. THAT WAS MY BEST JOKE, COLIN.
>> REPRESENTATIVE MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN SAID NEXT WEEK SHE WILL FORCE A VOTE TO OUST HOUSE
SENATOR MIKE JOHNSON. IF THERE'S ONE THING I BET SHE'S AMAZING AT, IT'S DRIVING MEN
AWAY. >> DURING A CAMPAIGN EVENT MARKING THE START OF ASIAN
AMERICAN AND PACIFIC ISLANDER HERITAGE MONTH, PRESIDENT BIDEN CRITICIZED JAPAN AS BEING
XENOPHOBIC, WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE WHY WOULD THE JAPANESE BE SCARED OF FOREIGNERS?
DRAKE JUST DROPPED ANOTHER DISS RECORD, GUYS. JUST KIDDING.
I JUST SAY THAT WHEN I BOMB. >> FLORIDA'S NEW ABORTION BAN MEANS THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN IN
THE SOUTH WILL HAVE TO TRAVEL MORE THAN 300 MILES FOR THE PROCEDURE.
ON THE PLUS SIDE, YOU CAN GET FREE TRAVEL FROM NEW YORK BY DISGUISING YOURSELF AS A
MIGRANT. >> NEW POLLS SHOW THAT SUPPORTERS OF PRESIDENT BIDEN
AND DONALD TRUMP ARE SHARPLY DIVIDED OVER WHERE THEY GET THEIR NEWS.
PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT BIDEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET THEIR NEWS FROM NEWSPAPERS AND MAIN STREAM
MEDIA WHILE TRUMP SUPPORTS GET THEIRS FROM T-SHIRTS. >> DONALD TRUMP TOLD SUPPORTERS
IF HE'S ELECTED, HE WILL FOCUS ON ANTI-WHITE RACISM. THANK GOD.
MY PEOPLE HAVE SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH. SORRY, CHE, BUT TIME'S UP.
>> I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO COME OUT OF YOU SOME DAY. TODAY WAS THE 150th RUNNING OF
THE KENTUCKY DERBY, ALSO KNOWN TO HORSES AS SQUID GAME.
>> SOUTH DAKOTA GOVERNOR AND TRUMP'S POTENTIAL V.P. CANDIDATE
KRISTI NOEM IS BEING CRITICIZED FOR WRITING IN HER MEMOIR ABOUT SHOOTING HER 14-MONTH-OLD PUPPY
CRICKET. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS HER OTHER DOG.
>> NICE TO BE HERE. CRICKET. CAN YOU SHAKE?
DO YOU DO PAW? >> SURE. IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.
SO YOUR NAME IS ALSO CRICKET? >> MY NAME IS ACTUALLY CRICKET VII.
>> THE SEVENTH? >> YEAH, THE FIRST SIX WERE BAD DOGS, COLIN.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN, RIGHT? >> SURE.
YOU'RE HERE TO DEFEND KRISTI NOEM? >> OF COURSE.
SHE'S A GREAT OWNER. HE'S A GREAT DOG OWNER. ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT KILLING
ANIMALS IS JUST MEDIA SPIN. >> BUT SHE WROTE ABOUT IT IN HER OWN BOOK.
>> I CAN'T READ. I'M A DOG. >> RIGHT.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT MEDIA SPIN IS? >> LOOK, THE DOG WAS THE PROBLEM.
BARKING, EATING EVERY DAY. WHO DOES THAT? IF SHE DIDN'T KILL HIM, I WOULD.
>> WOW. SO YOU'RE TEAM KRISTI? >> TEAM KRISTI FOR LIFE, FOR MY
VERY LONG LIFE. PLEASE, I LOVE YOU, KRISTI. >> ALL RIGHT.
JUST SEEMS UNDERNEATH IT LIKE YOU'RE A LITTLE SCARED. >> SCARED?
I'M NOT SCARED. I HAVE A GREAT LIFE. SHE GIVES ME SO MANY TOYS.
SHE EVEN GAVE ME A DOG BUTTON MAP. YOU CAN SAY RUN OR HUNGRY.
CHECK IT OUT. SHE, IS, GOING, TO, KILL, ME. >> CRICKET.
>> WHAT? THESE ARE LIKE BROKEN OR SOMETHING.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT TO SAY. I, DIE, TONIGHT. >> OH, MY GOD.
LISTEN, BUDDY, IT'S GONNA BE OKAY. >> DON'T MAKE ANY SUDDEN
MOVEMENTS, MAN. >> I'M SORRY, MAN. >> IT'S COOL.
IT'S COOL. MY POINT IS THAT SHE'S THE BEST. IT'S LIKE THEY SAY, I DON'T KNOW
IF SHE RESCUED ME OR IF I'M GOING TO GET SHOT IN THE FACE. >> THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY SAY.
CRICKET, YOU KNOW KRISTI WELL. WHY DO YOU THINK SHE WROTE THESE STORIES IN HER BOOK?
>> I TOLD YOU, COLIN, I CAN'T READ. SHE, THOUGHT, TRUMP, WOULD,
LIKE, IT. >> SO SHE WROTE THE BOOK TO SEEM TOUGH FOR TRUMP?
>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS. BUT, SHE'S, NOT, INVITED, TO,
MAR-A-LAGO. >> ONE OF THE DOG BUTTONS IS MAR-A-LAGO?
>> HEY, HEY, YOU KNOW SHE'S WRITING ANOTHER BOOK. SHE KEEPS SAYING, YOU BETTER
BEHAVE OR YOU'RE GOING TO GO IN THE BOOK. >> OH, MY GOD.
SO SHE JUST KILLS ALL HER ANIMALS? >> YEAH, COLIN, SHE KILLS ALL
HER ANIMALS. >> YOU WROTE ME A NOTE? I WASN'T BEING SARCASTIC.
>> WHY WOULD YOU READ THAT OUT LOUD? >> CRICKET, EVERYONE.
>> I'M A GOOD BOY. >> HE'S A GOOD BOY.
>> IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT BOTH BOOMER ESIASON AND PHIL SIMMS
ARE LEAVING CBS' THE NFL TODAY. THE FORMER QUARTERBACK SAID THEY WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME FIGURING
OUT WHICH IS WHICH. >> FANS OF THE CHILDREN'S SHOW BLUEY ARE SAYING THAT A LINE IN
A RECENT EPISODE HINTED THAT BLUEY'S MOM USED TO GO TO A PARK TO SMOKE MARIJUANA.
MEANWHILE OVER AT COCO MELON, EVERY BABY IS ON ACID. JUST HOURS AGO, THE KENTUCKY
DERBY WAS WON IN A PHOTO FINISH BY MYSTIC DAN. THAT'S ALSO THE GUY WHO SELLS
ACID TO COCO MELON. >> IT WAS REPORTED THAT SYLVESTER STALLONE IS WRITING A
MEMOIR. IT'S 300 PAGES LONG AND HAS A WORD COUNT OF ONE.
THAT'S GOOD ACTING, RIGHT, COLIN? YOU LIKE THAT.
I WAS WORKING ON IT ALL DAY. >> AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOLTEACHER IN WISCONSIN WAS ARRESTED AFTER
SHE ALLEGEDLY MADE OUT WITH ONE OF HER FIFTH GRADE STUDENTS JUST MONTHS BEFORE HER WEDDING, WHICH
IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE YOUR BACHELORETTE PARTY AT CHUCK E. CHEESE.
FORMER CHILD STAR JOJO SIWA JUST RELEASED HER FIRST GROWN UP
SINGLE KARMA AND SURPRISED PEOPLE WITH HER NEW GOOD GIRL GONE BAD PERSONA.
HERE TO COMMENT IS JOJO SIWA * KARMA'S A BITCH, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER, IF I HAD A WISH, I
WOULD HAVE NEVER F'd AROUND * >> WOW. OH, MY GOD, JOJO.
>> THAT'S WHAT I CALL IT. I'M A BAD GIRL NOW. >> YEAH.
JOJO, THIS IS A VERY DIFFERENT LOOK. WE'RE ALL USED TO YOU WEARING
OUTFITS LIKE THIS. BUT NOW IT'S THIS. >> YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S A PRETTY BIG CHANGE. I USED TO BE RAINBOW SPARKLES, AND NOW I'M BLACK SPARKLES.
I LOOK LIKE IF A FIGURE SKATER JOINED A STREET GANG. >> YEAH.
I WAS GOING TO SAY IF MAD MAX WAS ON BROADWAY. >> DOES IT SCARE YOU, COLIN?
DOES A FORMER CHILD STAR LOOKING LIKE THIS SCARE YOU? >> YEAH, BUT NOT IN THE WAY
YOU'RE HOPING. >> YEAH. I'M IN MY BAD GIRL ERA NOW.
I EVEN DO CIGARETTES. WATCH. >> THAT'S VERY NATURAL.
I'M SORRY. YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN HERE UNLESS YOU'RE DAVE CHAPPELLE.
>> WELL, THEN I'LL JUST HIDE IT IN MY BREAST PART OF MY BODY SUIT FOR LATER.
>> REALLY COOL. SO HOW ARE PEOPLE REACTING TO YOUR TRANSFORMATION?
>> IT'S BEEN CALLED GUTSY, BRAVE. >> AND WHO ARE THOSE QUOTES
ATTRIBUTED TO? >> ME. I'M VERY COCKY.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID * KARMA'S A BITCH * BUT SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, COLIN,
I'VE COMPLETELY REINVENTED MYSELF. I MEAN, NO ONE MY AGE HAS DONE
THIS. >> YEAH. AND HOW OLD ARE YOU, JOJO?
>> WELL, FROM 2011 TO 2023, I WAS 8. BUT NOW, I'M 20 AND GAY.
I'M THE FIRST GAY GIRL IN THE WORLD! BET YOU NEVER MET A GAY GIRL
BEFORE. >> YEAH. WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, A LOT
OF THE WOMEN I DATED TURNED GAY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT, JOJO, YOU WERE QUOTED AS
SAYING YOU INVENTED A NEW GENERA OF MUSIC. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
GAY POP. >> I THINK THAT'S MAYBE JUST POP.
BUT I HAVE TO ASK, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? >> BECAUSE I'M AN ARTIST, COLIN.
I'M HOLDING A MIRROR UP TO SOCIETY AND THEN I'M HOLDING THAT MIRROR UP TO MYSELF AND
THINKING, WHOA, THAT'S WHAT I LOOK LIKE? BECAUSE THAT'S CRAZY.
HIT THE TRACK! * KARMA'S A BITCH, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER *
>> JOJO SIWA, EVERYONE.
>> NEARLY 100,000 POUNDS OF >> NEARLY 100,000 POUNDS OF
SLICED PERCUTTA WAS BEING RECALLED FOR NOT BEING INSPECTED PROPERLY.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN ITALIAN SLUR FOR GAY. ALL RIGHT.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. >> THIS IS A REALLY ROUGH EPISODE FOR ME, COLIN.
>> AN 11-DAY CRUISE IS BEING OFFERED NEXT YEAR FROM MIAMI TO THE CARIBBEAN IN WHICH
PASSENGERS WILL BE NUDE. THE CRUISE WILL OFFER PICKLE BALL, CORN HOLE, AND ALSO GAMES.
A NEW REPORT CHRONICLES A DISORDER CALLED SEX SOMNIA IN WHICH PEOPLE TRY TO HAVE SEX
WHILE THEY'RE ASLEEP. THE REPORT WAS WRITTEN BY SOMEONE NAMED PHIL FOZBY.
>> MAY IS NATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, SO STOP KNOCKING ON MY DRESSING ROOM DOOR.
>> DON'T. DON'T ENCOURAGE.
>> HAVING A REAL ROUGH TIME. >> WELL, GUYS, OFTEN TIMES WHEN AN ACTOR IS PROMOTING A NEW
MOVIE, LET'S SAY A NETFLIX MOVIE, THEY HAVE TO DO A LOT OF PRESS, SOMETIMES TOO MUCH PRESS.
HERE TO COMMENT IS A MAN WHO DID TOO MUCH PRESS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HI. HELLO. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> SURE, SURE. WHERE AM I EXACTLY? >> YOU'RE ON "WEEKEND UPDATE."
>> OH. IS THIS A PODCAST? >> NO.
YOU'RE ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." >> OH, LIVE TV. OH, MY GOD.
I GOT TO STOP. >> YEAH. YOU'VE KIND OF BEEN EVERYWHERE.
I'VE SEEN YOU -- I EVEN SAW YOU ON RICH IZEN. >> I WASN'T.
>> YOU WERE. I SAW IT. >> I FIND HIM ACCESSIBLE.
>> BUT IT'S A SPORTS SHOW. >> I KNOW. I KNOW THAT NOW.
>> FOR THE VIEWERS, HOW DOES SOMEONE KNOW THAT THEY'RE DOING EXCESSIVE PRESS?
>> THAT'S THE THING. YOU DON'T KNOW UNTIL SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU SHOWS YOU A
VIDEO PACKAGE AND YOU SEE YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WITH THESE NAMES, HODA, MOROCCO, SHYNELL,
VLAD. >> VLAD? >> YEAH.
I TALKED TO A GUY NAMED VLAD. AND I KNOW I CAN'T UNDO ALL THE PRESS I'VE DONE, BUT I WANT TO
HELP OTHER PEOPLE. IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH PRESS, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
I'M TALKING TO YOU, RYAN GOSLING. WHEN I STARTED DOING PRESS, I
WAS LIKE YOU, FUNNY, GOOD LOOKING, NOW LOOK AT ME. YOU THINK THIS IS HOW I WANTED
TO SPEND MY 26th BIRTHDAY? BUT YOU CAN GET CLEAN. >> IS THAT YOUR PHONE?
>> YEAH. EXCUSE ME. UNIVISION?
YEAH, I'M READY. >> HE'S DOING ANOTHER INTERVIEW? >> WHAT IS THIS, SPANISH?
FINE. WHAT IS THE DIALECT? YEAH, I CAN DO THAT.
WHO'S THE HOST? POPEY, PIPPA. I LOVE YOUR SHOW.
ARE YOU KIDDING, ALL THE TIME. UNFROSTED IS A DELIGHTFUL CRAZY TALE WITH SOME FUNNY PEOPLE AS
YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE. >> THE MAN WHO DID TOO MUCH PRESS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
>> LOOK FOR ME ON KELLY CLARKSON. >> GOODNIGHT
>>> OKAY, MRS. PARKS, WE JUST GOT YOUR CHART.
WAIT RIGHT HERE. THE DOCTOR WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY.
>> THANK YOU. >> AND YOU'RE SURE THIS DOCTOR'S GOOD?
>> HONEY, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T MAKE A FUSS. >> I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
DR. MORGAN WOULD CHOOSE NOW OF ALL TIMES TO GO ON VACATION. >> TRUST ME.
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. FAT DADDY IS A MORE THAN CAPABLE OBGYN.
>> FAT DADDY? THE DOCTOR'S NAME IS FAT DADDY? >> BABE, CHILL, YOU'RE STRESSING
ME OUT. >> GOOD MORNING, FOLKS. >> GOOD MORNING, DR. FAT DADDY.
>> PLEASE. IT'S JUST FAT DADDY. >> I'M SORRY.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON YOUR JACKET? >> OH, THIS?
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. THAT'S JUST SAUCE. >> BABE, JUST LET HIM DO HIS
JOB. >> LET ME GUESS, FIRST TIME PARENTS?
>> YES. AND I'M STARTING TO THINK HE'S MORE NERVOUS THAN I AM.
>> I GET IT. I'VE BEEN THERE. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE.
DR. MORGAN SENT OVER YOUR CHARTS. SAYS WE ARE SEVEN MONTHS
PREGNANT. WE'RE GO TO DO A QUICK ULTRASOUND, MAKE SURE EVERYTHING
LOOKS OKAY. SOUND GOOD? >> YEAH.
THANK YOU, FAT DADDY. >> CAN I JUST ASK HOW YOU GOT THAT NAME?
>> THAT'S SO RUDE. >> IT'S OKAY. BEFORE I BECAME AN OBGYN, I WAS
THE PIT MASTER AT THE BARBECUE PALACE ON 78. >> WE LOVE THAT PLACE.
I'M REAL PROUD OF IT. YEP. YOU KNOW, THIS GOING TO BE A
LITTLE COLD, ALL RIGHT? DON'T YOU EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT. DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT NOTHING,
ALL RIGHT. NOW, BARBECUE IS JUST SOMETHING I KNOW HOW TO DO, BUT MY TRUE
PASSION HAS ALWAYS BEEN GYNECOLOGY, EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE BOY.
YEP. YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, THAT'S GOING TO BE SOME GOOD HEAT. >> SO, WHEN EXACTLY DID YOU GET
YOUR DEGREE? >> UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
LET ME SEE SOMETHING HERE. NURSE. >> YES, FAT DADDY?
>> UM, I DON'T SEE NO BABY. >> FOR REAL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE
PREGNANT. >> I'M VISIBLY PREGNANT. >> BABE, WE SHOULD GO.
THIS GUY DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING. >> HANG ON, HANG ON.
LET'S CALM DOWN. YOU SEE THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T ALWAYS TRUST THESE MACHINES.
SOMETIMES, JUST LIKE IN BARBECUE, YOU GOT TO ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES.
NURSE, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HER TEMPERATURE CHILD I DUG ON IN THE PIT.
YEAH, I'M GOING IN. >> WAIT, WAIT. SHOULDN'T YOU BE WEARING GLOVES?
>> DARRYL, I ASKED YOU TO COME HERE FOR SUPPORT AND TO SEE IF YOU'RE REALLY READY TO BE A
FATHER. >> NOW, WHERE IS HE? >> YOU KNOW WHAT, I AM READY TO
BE A FATHER. >> WELL, THEN STOP MAKING THINGS WEIRD.
>> OKAY. 2-2-5, THAT'S SLOW AND LOW. >> I CAN'T FIND -- I FOUND HIM.
ALL RIGHT. EVERYTHING LOOK GOOD. >> COULD YOU NOT LICK YOUR
FINGERS? >> OH, YOU RIGHT. MY BAD.
THAT'S A BAD HABIT. NURSE, HAND ME THE PAPER TOWELS, PLEASE.
YOUR BABY'S LOOKING GOOD, COMING ALONG REAL NICE. JUST A LITTLE DRY.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THOUGH. I WANT YOU TO MAKE SURE YOU ROTATE HIM EVERY WEEK OR SO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I WOULD LET IT GO ABOUT ANOTHER MONTH AND A HALF, TWO MONTHS.
SHOULD BE FALLING RIGHT OFF THE BONE THEN. >> FALL OFF THE BONE?
>> THAT'S JUST MEDICAL JARGON. ALSO, I WANT TO SAY YOUR PH IS A LITTLE OFF, SO I'M GOING TO PUT
YOU ON SOME SUPPLEMENTS. TRACEY? >> YES, FAT DADDY.
>> GO ON AND WRITE THIS SCRIPT DOWN, PLEASE. IRON, ALKALINE WATER, APPLE SIGH
-- SIGH CAR VINEGAR. A LITTLE COCA-COLA.
>>> ONCE AGAIN, THE DUA LIPA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
* LATE ON A TUESDAY I SAW YOUR PICTURE YOU WERE SO HAPPY
I COULD JUST TELL * * SHE'S REALLY PRETTY I THINK SHE'S A MODEL
BABY TOGETHER YOU LOOK HOT AS HELL * * AND I DIDN'T EVEN
WANT TO CRY OH WHAT IS THIS FEELING COULDN'T BELIEVE IT *
* HAD TO ASK MYSELF WHY I MUST'VE LOVED YOU MORE THAN I EVER KNEW *
* DIDN'T KNOW I COULD EVER FEEL 'CAUSE I'M HAPPY FOR YOU *
* NOW I KNOW EVERYTHING WAS REAL * * I'M NOT MAD I'M NOT HURT
YOU GOT EVERYTHING YOU DESERVE * * OH I MUST'VE LOVED YOU
MORE THAN I EVER KNEW I'M HAPPY FOR YOU * * AND LOOKING BACK NOW
I HOPE YOU SEE IT EVEN THE HARD PARTS WERE ALL FOR THE BEST *
* I SEE WHERE YOU'RE AT NOW YOU PICKED UP THE PIECES AND THEN YOU GAVE THEM
TO SOMEBODY ELSE * * AND I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO CRY
OH WHAT IS THIS FEELING COULDN'T BELIEVE IT * * HAD TO ASK MYSELF WHY
I MUST'VE LOVED YOU MORE THAN I EVER KNEW * * DIDN'T KNOW
I COULD EVER FEEL 'CAUSE I'M HAPPY FOR YOU * * NOW I KNOW
EVERYTHING WAS REAL I'M NOT MAD I'M NOT HURT * * YOU GOT EVERYTHING
YOU DESERVE OH I MUST'VE LOVED YOU MORE THAN I EVER KNEW *
* I'M HAPPY FOR YOU YOU YOU YOU I'M HAPPY FOR YOU
YOU YOU YOU * * I'M HAPPY FOR OH I MUST'VE LOVED YOU
MORE THAN I EVER KNEW * * DIDN'T KNOW I COULD EVER FEEL
'CAUSE I'M HAPPY FOR YOU * * NOW I KNOW EVERYTHING WAS REAL
I'M NOT MAD I'M NOT HURT * * YOU GOT EVERYTHING YOU DESERVE
OH I MUST'VE LOVED YOU MORE THAN I EVER KNEW * * I'M HAPPY FOR YOU *
** ** **
>>> IT'S FASHION SEASON. WITH RED CARPETS GOING VIRAL AND
THE MET GALA RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, EVERYONE'S SERVING LOOKS.
>> ALL MY FAVORITE ARTISTS ARE WEARING PINS THAT SUPPORT CAUSES.
I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT I CARE TOO, BUT I'M NERVOUS ABOUT WHAT TO SAY.
>> WITH SO MANY COMPLICATED ISSUES OUT THERE, IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHEN THE JOIN THE
CONVERSATION AND HOW. >> IT'S WRONG TO STAY SILENT, BUT IT'S ALSO WRONG TO SAY TOO
MUCH. I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE.
>> INTRODUCING TEENY TINY STATEMENT PIN TWB NEW CARPET ACCESSORY THAT'S SO SMALL, IT'S
BARELY VISIBLE. >> NOT EVERYONE HAS TO BE BOMBARDED WITH MY OPINIONS, BUT
IF THEY WANT THEM, THEY CAN ZOOM WAY, WAY, WAY IN. >> I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT AND
NO ONE HAS TO KNOW. >> THAT'S RIGHT. YOUR PIN CAN MAKE A STATEMENT
ABOUT WHATEVER'S MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU LIKE -- >> LOVE IS LOVE.
>> PROTECT DEMOCRACY. >> FREE ELLEN. >> PAY TEACHERS MORE.
>> WE HAVE THE MEATS. >> OR WE NO HAVE NO MEATS. >> YOU CAN BE A TEENY TINY PART
OF THE CONVERSATION. >> YOU FEEL VERY CONFIDENT IN MY OPINION, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, IT
IS A BAD ONE, AND I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT. >> IT'S THE PERFECT STATEMENT
PIECE TO STYLE WITH ANY OUTFIT BECAUSE IT'S INVISIBLE. I'M EVEN WEARING ONE RIGHT NOW.
>> SOMETIMES A PHRASE ISN'T NUANCED ENOUGH, THAT'S WHY TEENY TINY STATEMENT PIN HAS SPACE FOR
UP TO 10,000 WORDS. >> WOW. I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY.
>> IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY BUT YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE
IMPORTANT, THEN YOU'LL LOVE OUR NEW VAGUE COLLECTION, A RANDOM FLAG THAT BELONGS TO NO COUNTRY,
A CAT AND BABY TOGETHER, IT HAS TO STOP AND IT HAS TO START. >> THANKS TEENY TINY STATEMENT
PIN. WHOOPS I DROPPED IT. >> TEENY TINY STATEMENT PIN.
IF YOU DROP IT, IT'S GONE FOREVER.
>>> LISTEN UP, GANG. WE'RE ALMOST DONE WITH Q1 HERE
AT ROSEMAN FAMILY FLOORING, AND OUR NUMBERS ARE BAD. >> AND WE'RE GETTING CREAMED BY
TILE AND CARPET BECAUSE THEIR Q1 HAS BEEN GANG BUSTERS. >> THEY HAVE A PHONE NUMBER THAT
STICK IN EVERYONE'S HEADS. WE DON'T HAVE THAT. WHAT'S OUR NUMBER?
>> 13525550178. >> WE NEED TO MAKE THAT NUMBER INTO A JINGLE THAT'S EVEN
CATCHIER. >> BUT, BOSS, THERE'S NO WAY TO MAKE THAT NUMBER A CATCHY
JINGLE. >> IT'S WAY TOO COMPLICATED. >> LAST NIGHT, MITCHELL AND I
WENT TO LUCCIANOS. >> AND I WAS DRINKING, AND WHEN I SAY DRINKING, I DON'T MEAN
DRINKING, I MEAN I WAS GETTING RIPPED OFF STRAWBERRY DAQS. >> WHILE MITCHELL WAS CRUSHING
THEM, A BAND TOOK THE STAGE AND LAID DOWN THE CATCHIEST HOOKS I HAD EVER HEARD.
FELLAS, GET IN HERE. >> HELLO, CARPET PEOPLE. >> WE ARE SOUL BOOTH.
>> THIS IS SOUL BOOTH, AND THEY'RE HERE TO SAVE US. >> I HEARD Y'ALL NEED A SEXY
LITTLE JINGLE TO JUICE UP YOUR Q1. >> YOU REMEMBER THIS ONE?
THEY AIN'T READY. JINGLE RIGHT HERE. ONE!
35. HOO! COME ON.
THE NEXT NUMBER IS -- TWO! ** FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE,
FIVE, FIVE -- ZERO! HOO!
** ONE! SEVEN!
** AND EIGHT! WHO YA GONNA CALL, WHO YA GONNA
CALL, WHO YA GONNA CALL, TELL 'EM. **
ROSEMAN, ROSEMAN FAMILY FLOORING. >> GUYS, I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S
NOT GOING TO WORK FOR US. >> WHAT'S WRONG, SUGAR? >> DOESN'T FEEL LIKE WHAT WE
HEARD AT LUCCIANOS. >> OH, YOU WANT LUCH? >> YES.
WHEN I HEAR THIS TRACK, I SHOULD FEEL LIKE I'M RIPPED TO THE GODS AT LUCH.
FEEL ME? >> AND I THINK THE NUMBERS SHOULD BE CLOSER TOGETHER.
>> AND I THINK YOU SAID WAY TOO MANY FIVES. >> NOTES RECEIVED.
>> WELL, I THINK WE GOT JUST THE GROOVE. **
>> YOU REMEMBER THIS ONE? SEXY LITTLE NUMBER FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.
COME ON. MAKE LOVE TO ME. HERE WE GO.
** ONE, TWO, THREE, TWO, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, ZERO, ONE, SEVEN,
EIGHT, 78, TELL THEM, 135, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE. ROSEMAN FLAMILY, 78, 78,
ROSEMAN, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE. >> DO I LOOK LIKE A DUMB ASS TO YOU?
YOU CALL THAT A LUCHED UP TRACK? >> THAT TRACK WAS HALF-LUCHED TOPS.
>> TOPS. I MEAN, WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THIS?
I SHOULD FEEL FIVE DECKS DEEP AT LUCH RIGHT NOW. >> IS THAT SO HARD?
IS IT REALLY SO HARD TO WRITE A JINGLE THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING DAQUED DOWN IN THE
BACK OF LUCH. RICKY'S ABOUT TO CUT ME OFF, BUT THEN THAT PEPPER BOY WITH THE
BOWL CUT LOOKS LIKE THE GOOD DOCTOR ABOUT TO MAKE ME ACT UP! >> EXACTLY.
IF YOU CAN'T GIVE THAT TO US, THEN WE'RE DONE HERE. UNDERSTAND?
>> FLABSOLUTELY. >> ALSO, I WOULD LOVE IT IF THE NUMBER WAS CLEARER.
>> ALL RIGHT. I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE JUST THE THING.
** >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, Q1 IS COMING TO A CLOSE.
IT'S A SPECIAL TIME OF YEAR FOR US ALL, AND IF WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS JINGLE JUSTICE, WE'RE GOING
TO NEED A LITTLE HELP. >> WHO? ME?
BUT, SIRS, I DON'T KNOW THE WORDS. >> FREE YOUR MIND, MAMACITA, AND
THE REST WILL FOLLOW. 13,525,515,178 * 13 BILLION, 50,000, 178.
>> OH, MY GOD, MITCHELL. DID WE DO IT? WAS IT LUCCI?
>> CAROLYN, NOT ONLY WITH US THAT PERFECT, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I FEEL ABSOLUTELY
DAQUED DOWN, PEPPED UP, AND LUCHED OUT! EVERYBODY!
HERE WE GO ** 13,525,535,178 *
>>> THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANKS TO JERRY SEINFELD,
THANKS TO TROYE SIVAN, LORNE MICHAELS. THANK YOU EVERYONE.
THIS IS HAS BEEN INCREDIBLE. EVERYONE ON THE STAGE, EVERYONE BEHIND THE SCENES MAKING IT
HAPPEN. THIS HAS BEEN UNBELIEVABLE. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.