1 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:09,109 Doug. Honey, where are you? The debates about the start. 2 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:14,714 Right here. Now. More. 3 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:19,152 Is I Doug It looks like I got to 4 00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:22,555 attack.the Secret Service 5 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:28,161 I am feeling good tonight. We have got momentum. 6 00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:36,002 and Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen, 7 00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:39,806 let me say that again. And Bruce Springsteen. 8 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,944 baby I Was Born to Run. Saying,Was Born to Run. 9 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:49,416 googled myself too.ng great, 10 00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:53,787 are calling me a grilf which means golden retriever. 11 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:58,992 I'd like to French. I'm pretty sure that's wrong. That's probably wrong. 12 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,828 see you later. Did he mean he was coming over 13 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:05,331 tonight? No. He went back to the white House. Oh, it looks likehe white House. 14 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,834 it's just Mamala and Pooh Bear 15 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,304 Dougy All right, 16 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:15,675 all right, let's watch. Okay. 17 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:21,681 Hello, and welcome to the CBS vice presidential debate. 18 00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:24,751 I'm Norah O'Donnell. I'm Margaret Brennan. Now, let's say hello 19 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,987 and then goodbye for the next four years to our vice 20 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:31,324 presidential candidates, JD Vance and Tim Walz. 21 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:41,101 That handshake. I like this guy. 22 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,936 Gentlemen, welcome to the debate. Mr. Vance, please 23 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:47,173 give your opening statement. Thank you for having me. I want to begin with something 24 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,209 that will appeal to women voters. I understand that 25 00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:53,446 both moderators tonight are mothers, and I like that. 26 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,316 Okay. And, Governor Walz, 27 00:01:56,316 --> 00:02:01,888 it looks like you're already scribbling a bunch of notes. Are you preparing your answers? 28 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:07,761 No, I got a grade. These papers got a stack. Midterms. Okay. 29 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,797 We begin tonight with the topic of Israel. 30 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,266 Senator Vance, how would you solve the ongoing crisis 31 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:17,470 in the Middle East? You know, that is such an important question, Margaret. 32 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:22,142 One that deserves an answer because it's important. And it's a question 33 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,578 that you asked of me tonight. 34 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,683 You're not going to answer, are you? 35 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:35,321 No, I'm not. And, Governor Walsh, same question to you. 36 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:39,759 I don't know the answer, so I'm going to just say the word fundamental a bunch, 37 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:48,835 because debating is 30% fun and 70% the mental How am I doing? 38 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,671 Okay, okay. He's out there. He's doing his thing, 39 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,374 whatever that may be. 40 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:57,777 Come on. Just relax. 41 00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:00,647 You know, you haven't had a night off in three months. Do you want to watch something 42 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:05,385 less stressful, like the Menendez brothers show? I don't know, Doug. 43 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:09,122 Yeah, I kind of wish I had pick Josh right now. Oh, Josh Shapiro. 44 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:14,728 No Josh Cabernet. Look, it'll be fine. It's not like he's 45 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:20,767 going to say something crazy. I've become friends with school shooters. 46 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,473 Okay. Little flub there, 47 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:28,708 You know what, Doug? You were right. 48 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:33,613 Let's watch something more fun. Ooh, like a rerun of my debate. Remember when I said 49 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:37,650 it's crowds were tiny and I broke his brain? Of course I do. 50 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:40,920 Look, this isn't easy for me either as a goofy white guy. This really sets 51 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,858 my fella's back. All right, I'm in a group chat with Josh Gad 52 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:49,162 and Jason Kelce and the mood is dark. We now turn to the gotcha 53 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:54,567 portion of the debate. Senator Vance, you called Donald Trump America's Hitler. 54 00:03:54,567 --> 00:04:00,807 Do you regret that? What? The context matters. I meant that as a compliment. 55 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:04,911 Wow. This guy's good. He's got an answer for everything. 56 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:11,718 Thank you. That's quite kind. Hey. You're welcome. 57 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:17,057 Okay. I'm not sure why you two are connecting, but let's move on. 58 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:20,126 Governor Walz, you claimed you were in Hong Kong during the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre 59 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:25,632 when you were home in Minnesota. Can you explain that? So I think what 60 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:32,305 happened is I went to Epcot and you can go around the whole world. 61 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:37,844 And I had a couple in the Germany section that I thought I went to China. 62 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:44,417 Anyway, I'm a knucklehead, but I'm sure this guy has some some things he'd want to, 63 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:49,689 you know, back out of as well. He's right about that. That's that's an area where 64 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,959 we have a lot of common ground. 65 00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:08,541 Why are they friends? Why are they vibing? 66 00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:12,679 Hey, mama, it's Joe Biden. I can't talk right now. Tell him I'm not here. 67 00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:17,150 No, no. Like he's in the room. Oh. Oh. 68 00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,822 You're not. You're not here. 69 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:27,761 I'll come back. No no no no no. Come in. Nice and. Dry. 70 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:32,365 It's okay, man. You've been watching this guy. Come on. Walls. 71 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:38,104 What's wrong with that guy? He's crazy. Get your facts straight, Jack. 72 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:42,175 You got to hit him with a no, Joe. Here's the deal. 73 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,145 Let me be clear. 74 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,883 Anyway. Guess what? 75 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:54,087 And by the way, you you be talking about all the great things we've done. 76 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:58,692 Gas prices down or crossings down. Emmys for the bear. 77 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:05,098 Down. Everybody get down tonight. 78 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:11,738 You know. And now we turn to reproductive rights. 79 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:15,408 Governor Walz, what would you do on this issue? You know, in Minnesota, 80 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:19,346 we restored a woman's right to choose because we trust women. 81 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,581 And in Minnesota, we also happen to have the lowest 82 00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:24,684 teen pregnancy rates, probably because everyone's wearing a lot of layers 83 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:32,726 and eating a lot of lake fish, just not a horny place. And Senator Vance, 84 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:39,866 your favorability rating on this issue is -100. What is your current stance. 85 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,835 Yeah. Republicans need to do much better 86 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:45,071 on this issue of building trust back with voters. That's why I'm keeping 87 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:51,945 all my real opinions up here. Well, we'd like to end tonight on the topic of democracy. 88 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,214 Senator Vance, your running mate refused to accept the results 89 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:58,318 of the last election. Would you have certified the results? 90 00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:02,188 You know, nor it's rich to say that Donald Trump is a threat to democracy. 91 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:08,161 When he peacefully gave over power, we said no fact checking. And willingly and willingly. 92 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,697 Don't check that got on his plane without incident. Don't right after 93 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:14,668 for saving Obamacare. Don't check that. What if we're allowed 94 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:22,409 to stand up here and lie? Then I would like to say I actually was in Tiananmen Square. 95 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:25,679 And you know what? There's 10s on the clock here, and I 96 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:27,781 got to get some points on the board here, so I'm just going to chuck 97 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:33,953 a Hail Mary. Senator, will you admit that Donald Trump lost the election? 98 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:41,061 You know, Tim, I'm focused on the future. It's good. 99 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:45,065 Honey, we did it. We got the sound bites. What are the pollsters saying? 100 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:51,671 Well, this is a huge victory. It made no difference. Right? Hey, Kel. 101 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,674 Let me get it. Let me get a little bit of a pep talk. 102 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:57,644 Here's the deal. I'm being serious right now. Come on. 103 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:06,286 Look at me. Right now. It's about the president. 104 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,722 Pardon me. The vice president doesn't matter. 105 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:14,027 Well, I mean, who the hell knows who the hell who? That was Obama's V.P.. 106 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:19,833 Nobody knows. That was you? That was you. 107 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:29,109 You're gonna make a great crowd. When you're gonna be my turn. Biden 2028. 108 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:34,347 And one more thing. Live From New York it| Saturday Night! 109 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:44,090 >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH -- 110 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,028 FEATURING -- 111 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:50,617 MUSICAL GUEST -- COLDPLAY. AND YOUR HOST, NATE BARGATZE. 112 00:10:56,356 --> 00:11:04,364 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NATE BARGATZE! 113 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:14,441 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 114 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,713 Thank you. Thank you very much. 115 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:24,784 to Saturday Night Live. 116 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:31,624 It's crazy. Crazy. I, you know, from Nashville, 117 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:37,263 went to, look at us. Yeah, we had a big day today. 118 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,500 I went to community college, 119 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,737 and it's a big deal. 120 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,439 Is can be a college. A lot of peoplelege. 121 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,642 When they're like, 122 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,345 staying in your community. So we're going to show you 123 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,815 the ropes around town. 124 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,853 just a lay of the land. 125 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:04,057 I took all remedial classes. I was there one year. Zero credits. 126 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:10,230 I was there the whole time. It's not good. I took speech as a class 127 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,665 in college. I drove there with my friends 128 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:17,837 math or something.al classes 129 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:20,373 what a class is called because I was like,led 130 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:24,978 a different part of the campus. 131 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:30,316 and our teachers rotate. How about you guys? 132 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,189 drunk too. 133 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:40,360 I don't like with speech. Like, help me out. 134 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:45,632 oh, like oil. I don't even know how to. 135 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:53,773 Oh, I will oil, motor oil. Oh, fix that. Southern comedian college. 136 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:58,812 It should be mandatory. Did they fix that issue? Right? Oh, I l on the board. 137 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:02,515 oh, I go, all right, we'll take care of that. 138 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:06,252 All right. There's a pretty good chance you're going to beood chance 139 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,388 working with a lot of that. 140 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,962 I just had it where I said it. I was eating, pizza. 141 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:21,301 extra virgin olive oil on it. So I in my head,ve oil on it. 142 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:26,706 I read it like this. I was like, well, I don't know if I want 143 00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:31,745 if I want any of it.il. 144 00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:36,082 I don't want, you know, so I go, but it was my turnknow, so I go, 145 00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:40,553 amount of virgin olive oil. 146 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,523 what to say to that. 147 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,262 I know to make fun of it 148 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:54,701 amount of virgin olive oil? 149 00:13:54,701 --> 00:14:01,941 why they're forcing extra on us. 150 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:06,046 I'm sorry. It's. I don't know a lot about food. All right. 151 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:10,617 First time I had a raspberry. 40 years old. 40 years old. 152 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:15,055 First time I had raspberry. I said it at the port. I was like, what is this? 153 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:19,959 And they go the bowl. That's. That's how much they figured. 154 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,796 clearly knows what raspberry is. It makes more sense for himy is. 155 00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:26,099 not to know what a bowl is. 156 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,273 raspberries growing up. 157 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,543 I don't come from money. All right? 158 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,512 I still swim with my eyes open. 159 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:48,288 I love I love processed food. You know I love it. 160 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:55,295 and I'm. I always have been. You know, 161 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,965 is what's going to kill me. 162 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:04,804 I don't know who I think I am. I order, I look at it at night 163 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:10,176 like it's tinder. Just scrolling through, seeing these opened,gh, 164 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:17,450 I have when I order it. 165 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:23,523 bring me a blizzard now.there. 166 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:29,496 I want it right now. Lay it quietly on my porch. Don't let anybody in this house 167 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:34,367 know I'm doing this. Cause 168 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:38,071 three grand for this blizzard. All right. All right, 169 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:44,911 I'll pay. I'll pay it. I ordered it one night. So I get I like McDonald's, 170 00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:50,083 with no onions and McDonald's. They do have a McFlurry. 171 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:53,186 one size. I don't care for that. 172 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:58,958 and I double dashed it. So if you don't know,t. 173 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:06,366 just keep peppering the guy, 174 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,202 what else is open around you? You know, maybe go see if they 175 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:20,814 got nerds in the gas station. So I so I ordered it, but for some reason, 176 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,482 it's going to be the same guy, but they put it in two different 177 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:28,054 drivers, so they separate it. Now I'm like, watching the GPS, 178 00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:31,558 to come at the same time. Like, it's the same time. 179 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:38,064 one of them to get in a wreck.. 180 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:42,268 It happens. I mean, I see them both. 181 00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:46,473 at the same time. I'm mortified. 182 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,608 it off. Dairyf. 183 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,210 Queen has to let them back out. 184 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,347 He was just in the corner, like I was havinge corner, 185 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,550 just now.ion done in. 186 00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,520 Go ahead. 187 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:05,425 I figured, you know what? 188 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,895 from two separate drivers, and that way, I'm in control 189 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:14,534 and then there was close order. 190 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:18,571 Sonic. Sonic blast. And then Sonic. The thing was like, do you want 191 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:24,744 I guess if it's easier, 192 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:32,218 stuff, it's easier for Sonic. So I ordered two full meals. 193 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,155 drops it off of my front door. Take a picture of my door. My. 194 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:39,459 picked out of a lineup 195 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:45,565 800 pictures of my front door. 196 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:50,603 I get a picture of the Sonic. It's at a door. I do not know. So I had a moment of just like, 197 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:55,508 do I go? Do I go find it? Do I go get it? And I did. 198 00:17:55,508 --> 00:18:00,747 in my neighborhood.own. 199 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:06,186 I was on every ring doorbell. Just like a raccoon. Just looking for the food. 200 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:08,722 tonight.t. 201 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:14,627 We will be right back. 202 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,477 I wonder how many 203 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,780 British troops await us on the other shore. 204 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,482 Must be thousands. 205 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,518 Is there any chance we will win this war? 206 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,387 Of course. 207 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:43,423 The general Washington 208 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,160 We apologize 209 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,061 No need. 210 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,764 I am fearful as well. 211 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,766 But we will live to the battle ahead 212 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:57,470 because we fight to control our own destiny, 213 00:18:57,504 --> 00:19:00,373 to create our own nation. 214 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,275 Well. 215 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,077 And to do our own thing 216 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:07,647 with the English language. 217 00:19:07,681 --> 00:19:11,017 Our own things? Yes. 218 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:16,656 I dream that one day our great nation 219 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:20,226 will have a word for the number 12. 220 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:23,563 We shall call it a dozen. 221 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,497 And what other numbers? 222 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,866 But we have a word for 223 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:30,303 none. 224 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,172 Only 12 shall have its own word, 225 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:35,475 because we are free men. 226 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,779 And we will be free to spell some words two different ways. 227 00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:42,048 Which word? Sir. 228 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:45,051 Donut. 229 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,690 In the name. 230 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,660 Jeff. 231 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,596 What are the two ways to spell Jeff, sir? 232 00:19:56,629 --> 00:20:00,066 It's the short way with the J and the stupid way 233 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,969 with the G. 234 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,342 And this is why we fight men. 235 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:12,512 To extend these liberties to all Americans, 236 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,548 including men of color like myself. 237 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,719 Well, we also have. 238 00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:25,125 Two names for animals. 239 00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:29,162 One when they are alive and a different one 240 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:32,532 when they become food. 241 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,034 So cows will be beef. 242 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,302 Pigs will be pork 243 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:39,039 and chicken, sir. 244 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:42,075 That one stays. 245 00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:47,947 Like chickens or chicken. 246 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:51,885 And we will create our own foods and name them what we want. 247 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,922 Like the hamburger made of ham 248 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,958 If only that simple. 249 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,762 A hamburger is made of beef 250 00:21:02,796 --> 00:21:06,066 just as the buffalo wing is made of chicken. 251 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:09,469 But fear not. 252 00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:10,437 Myth. 253 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:14,574 A hot dog will not be made of dogs. 254 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,676 What is it made of, sir? 255 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:19,713 Nobody knows. 256 00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,083 Sir. Shouldn't 257 00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:26,219 we know what's in a hot dog? 258 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,455 You know. 259 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,322 Sorry. 260 00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:32,525 Get out of the boat! 261 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:33,827 Just go over the side. Yes. 262 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:36,863 Go! Oh! 263 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,203 A real American 264 00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:46,639 would never want to know what's in a hot dog. 265 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,141 Just as they will never know why. 266 00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:50,610 Our money is called the dollar. 267 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,579 The dollar, sir. Yeah. 268 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,681 And if you think I'm worthy, 269 00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:57,350 put my portrait on the front of it. 270 00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:59,953 And what shall be on the back, sir? 271 00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:00,487 Everything. 272 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,523 All of it. 273 00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:04,324 Crazy stuff. 274 00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:07,727 Squiggles. Latin words. 275 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:11,731 Pyramid with a floating eye on top of the 276 00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:12,432 general. 277 00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:14,634 I confess I'm very confused. 278 00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:18,505 There seems to be no rhyme or reason to much of this. 279 00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:20,173 Do not worry, soldier. 280 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:22,075 For an hour. Great nation. 281 00:22:22,075 --> 00:22:25,679 We will create schools to teach our children our ways. 282 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:29,349 The first year of school will be called kindergarten. 283 00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,818 And when will the second year be called? 284 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:34,854 First grade. 285 00:22:38,892 --> 00:22:41,594 There will be 12 grades in all. 286 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:44,831 So a dozen grades. 287 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,867 That's no. 288 00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:50,537 We don't use it that way. 289 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,672 But the children. 290 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:55,642 The children will not have to go to school every day. 291 00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,577 We will have our own holidays. 292 00:22:57,610 --> 00:23:00,880 4th of July, flag day and Presidents Day. 293 00:23:00,914 --> 00:23:02,215 And what shall we do 294 00:23:02,248 --> 00:23:05,251 to honor our leaders on Presidents Day, sir? 295 00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:07,087 Buy a mattress. 296 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,123 Of course. 297 00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:15,061 These are my dreams for our nation, men. 298 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:17,063 We fight this war 299 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:20,433 to free the English language and free the American people. 300 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:23,069 All the American people. 301 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,538 Sir, do you mean the slaves 302 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:28,975 will be freed after this war? 303 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,679 After a war? 304 00:23:32,712 --> 00:23:34,147 A war? 305 00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:38,551 But is this war right? 306 00:23:48,328 --> 00:23:52,499 >>> WELCOME BACK TO THE OAK MONDAY CLASSIC. 307 00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:58,438 IT'S DAY TWO OF THIS THREE-DAY WHICH A IRTY TOURNAMENT, AND THERE'S BEEN SOME SURPRISES. 308 00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:03,476 >> LOT LEAST OF WHICH IS BRADY KNOLL GETTING READY TO TEE OFF RIGHT NOW. 309 00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:08,415 >> THIS IS HIS FIRST MAJOR TOURNAMENT. AFTER YESTERDAY'S PLAY, HE'S 310 00:24:08,415 --> 00:24:17,090 ONLY FOUR STROKES BEHIND LEADER TOBY DOYLE. >> HERE'S THE DRIVE. 311 00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:22,729 >> OH! OH, MY GOD. AMY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT 312 00:24:22,729 --> 00:24:26,066 HAPPEN. IT JUST EXPLODED. >> IS IT OKAY? 313 00:24:26,066 --> 00:24:33,406 >> HIS CADDY, RILEY MONTES DOING THE DECENT THING AND COVERING WHAT'S LEFT OF THE BIRD THERE. 314 00:24:33,406 --> 00:24:41,214 >> LET'S GO WHERE TOBY DOYLE IS PUTTING FOR PAR. OOH. 315 00:24:41,214 --> 00:24:48,188 >> MISSES IT. >> MEANWHILE, THE OFFICIALS HAVE GIVEN DOYLE A MULL BEGAN. 316 00:24:48,188 --> 00:24:56,696 >> NO BIRDS, ALL CLEAR. LINES UP HIS SHOT. SLICING INTO SOME TREES, AND -- 317 00:24:56,696 --> 00:25:02,936 OH NO. HE HIT A NEST THAT TIME. >> OBVIOUSLY, I DID NOT DO THAT 318 00:25:02,936 --> 00:25:06,473 ON PURPOSE. I DON'T THINK I COULD DO THAT ON PURPOSE. 319 00:25:06,473 --> 00:25:15,048 >> SEEMS LIKE -- OH, NO, IT WAS A BALD EAGLE'S NEST. >> FEDERAL WILD LIFE GETTING 320 00:25:15,048 --> 00:25:23,123 INVOLVED NOW AS KILLING A BALD EAGLE IS A CRIME. >> LOOKS LIKE THE POLICE ARE 321 00:25:23,123 --> 00:25:31,498 LETTING HIM GO FOR NOW. >> SOME OF THE ARMED FORCES IN ATTENDANCE TURNING THEIR BACKS 322 00:25:31,498 --> 00:25:34,901 ON HIM. WE'LL CHECK IN WITH DOYLE. >> ANOTHER MISS. 323 00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:39,673 DIFFICULT LIE HERE. >> VERY HARD TO SEE THE BALL IN ALL THAT DEBRIS. 324 00:25:39,673 --> 00:25:44,177 KNOLL SWINGS. OOH. >> WHAT WAS THAT, DUDE? 325 00:25:44,177 --> 00:25:50,483 WHAT WAS THAT? IS THAT AN EGG? >> I THINK THAT MAY HAVE BEEN 326 00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:54,621 ONE OF THE EAGLE'S EGGS. HE'S FOUND HIS ACTUAL BALL NOW. LINING UP HIS SHOT. 327 00:25:54,621 --> 00:26:02,295 >> OH, GOD, THE EAGLE'S BACK. THAT STARTLED ME. >> BAD SHOT THERE. 328 00:26:02,295 --> 00:26:08,268 HE IS FRUSTRATED, AND HE'S THROWING HIS CLUB. >> OH, NO. 329 00:26:08,268 --> 00:26:15,742 I HOPE THAT'S NOT FAIRWAY FRED. OF COURSE THE FAMOUS SNAPPING TURTLE THAT HAS BEEN A FIXTURE 330 00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:20,780 OF THIS COURSE SINCE 1971. >> I'M AFRAID IT IS FAIRWAY FRED. 331 00:26:20,780 --> 00:26:26,920 >> A TOUR OFFICIAL APPROACHING NOW. >> IT SEEMS NIKE HAS ASKED TO 332 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:31,624 COVER THEIR LOGO. AND OVER ON THE SIXTH SCREEN, DOYLE'S THIRD ATTEMPT. 333 00:26:31,624 --> 00:26:36,262 AND HE MAKES IT. >> NICE SHOT. BACK TO KNOLL. 334 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:41,134 450 YARDS TO THE GREEN. OH, WOW. RIGHT ON TARGET. 335 00:26:41,134 --> 00:26:44,838 HE'S ON THE GREEN, AND -- OH, MY GOD. IT'S IN THE HOLE. 336 00:26:44,838 --> 00:26:51,444 >> THAT MIGHT BE THE GREATEST SHOT I'VE EVER SEEN ON THIS COURSE. 337 00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:58,451 ALL IS FORGIVEN AS KNOLL GETS HIS BALL. >> OH! 338 00:26:58,451 --> 00:27:04,457 >> OH, MY GOD! >> OH, MY GOD! THAT CHIPMUNK. 339 00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:08,895 >> BAD START TO THE SECOND DAY OF PLAY FOR KNOLL HERE AT THE OAKMONT CLASSIC. 340 00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:10,897 BACK AFTER THIS. 341 00:27:16,603 --> 00:27:19,372 Estas viendo Unavisión y ahora. 342 00:27:19,406 --> 00:27:23,309 Una presentación especial de Sabana Gigante. 343 00:27:25,278 --> 00:27:27,847 Damas y caballeros. 344 00:27:27,881 --> 00:27:32,786 Don Francisco 345 00:27:32,819 --> 00:27:38,458 Tenemos muchos premios. 346 00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:42,295 Por Sabana Gigante. 347 00:27:43,463 --> 00:27:45,832 María, Linda. 348 00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:47,901 Sofía. Bella. 349 00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:48,868 Estefanía. 350 00:27:48,902 --> 00:27:52,439 Tienes que ser mi esposa. 351 00:27:52,472 --> 00:27:54,174 Buenas noches, Público. 352 00:27:54,207 --> 00:27:56,209 Si quieren ganar dinero y premios, digan. 353 00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:58,778 Ay, sí. 354 00:27:58,812 --> 00:28:00,814 ¡Sí! ¡Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja! 355 00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:03,016 Wow, qué lindo que una noche. 356 00:28:03,049 --> 00:28:05,418 Muy bien, gracias, mis niños. 357 00:28:05,452 --> 00:28:07,253 Ahora, 358 00:28:07,287 --> 00:28:11,091 nuestro primer concursante en silla 434 359 00:28:11,124 --> 00:28:14,127 se llama Joshua Roller. 360 00:28:17,797 --> 00:28:20,800 ¿Dónde está Joshua? 361 00:28:24,771 --> 00:28:26,873 Me? 362 00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:28,908 Se llama. Oh. 363 00:28:29,509 --> 00:28:30,844 No gracias 364 00:28:30,877 --> 00:28:33,179 I'm gonna. leave 365 00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:33,847 Sin miedo. 366 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,548 Sin miedo. 367 00:28:35,582 --> 00:28:36,483 20. Joshua. 368 00:28:36,516 --> 00:28:37,917 No pasa nada. Sin miedo. 369 00:28:37,951 --> 00:28:39,052 Va a ser el mayor número de premio. 370 00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:40,286 Nadie sabe lo que va a pasar aquí. 371 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,422 El Sabado Gigante 372 00:28:42,455 --> 00:28:44,057 Bienvenido, Joshua. 373 00:28:44,057 --> 00:28:47,060 I was that guy dressed like Dracula. 374 00:28:49,129 --> 00:28:52,098 Joshua Rodgers. 375 00:28:52,132 --> 00:28:53,299 Estás muy confundido. 376 00:28:53,333 --> 00:28:54,801 ¿Qué pasa, calabaza? 377 00:28:54,834 --> 00:28:56,069 Sorry. I'm sorry. 378 00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:58,772 I don't understand what you're saying. 379 00:29:00,273 --> 00:29:01,007 it is not. 380 00:29:02,008 --> 00:29:03,109 And I think I might be having a panic attack. 381 00:29:03,143 --> 00:29:04,044 Muy bien. 382 00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:04,844 Es un Panic 383 00:29:04,878 --> 00:29:06,079 Attack. 384 00:29:06,112 --> 00:29:12,018 Papá, tengo mucho Anxiety 385 00:29:16,656 --> 00:29:18,491 Hey, babe, can you come pick me up? 386 00:29:18,525 --> 00:29:21,161 I, I think I'm on television. 387 00:29:21,194 --> 00:29:21,761 Excuse me. 388 00:29:22,529 --> 00:29:23,830 What channel is this on a channel? 389 00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:24,330 On Channel. 390 00:29:24,364 --> 00:29:25,432 Bueno, eso depende, 391 00:29:25,465 --> 00:29:27,300 porque si estás en cable, es diferente en cada estado. 392 00:29:27,334 --> 00:29:28,435 En Miami es 23. 393 00:29:28,468 --> 00:29:31,838 Pero si tienes DirecTV, puede ser 64. 394 00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:35,175 He doesn't know. 395 00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:39,312 Bueno, yo te presento los números. 396 00:29:39,346 --> 00:29:41,448 All right. Numero. See? 397 00:29:41,481 --> 00:29:42,549 Sí, sí, los números. 398 00:29:42,582 --> 00:29:46,453 Y detrás de cada número hay sorpresas y dinero. 399 00:29:46,486 --> 00:29:48,555 Dame, por favor, un número. 400 00:29:48,588 --> 00:29:51,891 Numero. About Cinco. 401 00:29:51,925 --> 00:29:53,426 Okay. 402 00:29:53,460 --> 00:29:56,429 Muéstrame el cinco. 403 00:29:56,463 --> 00:30:01,301 Oh, no. 404 00:30:01,334 --> 00:30:03,903 Es el chacal. 405 00:30:03,937 --> 00:30:06,940 Who is el chacal? 406 00:30:08,975 --> 00:30:09,609 ¿Te gusta? 407 00:30:09,642 --> 00:30:10,477 What was that? 408 00:30:10,510 --> 00:30:13,947 Ese es el chacal. 409 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:14,681 Okay. 410 00:30:14,714 --> 00:30:17,384 Ahora otro número a uno. 411 00:30:17,417 --> 00:30:20,420 All right. Uno. 412 00:30:21,388 --> 00:30:25,425 Oh, es Million Dollar. 413 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:27,327 Pregunta dos. 414 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,296 $1 million. 415 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:33,066 Joshua 416 00:30:33,099 --> 00:30:35,935 ¿Cuánto es la naranja? 417 00:30:35,969 --> 00:30:38,138 What? 418 00:30:38,171 --> 00:30:40,840 ¿Cuánto es la naranja? 419 00:30:40,874 --> 00:30:43,843 How much is the orange? 420 00:30:43,877 --> 00:30:45,412 Mmm. ¿Cuánto es la naranja? 421 00:30:45,445 --> 00:30:48,448 Now I heard him. 422 00:30:48,481 --> 00:30:49,482 ¡Rápido, rápido! 423 00:30:49,516 --> 00:30:51,484 Necesitamos Answers. 424 00:30:51,518 --> 00:30:54,554 All right, I don't know three tres tres tres 425 00:30:54,587 --> 00:30:57,824 Díganos, señor Naranja. 426 00:30:57,857 --> 00:31:00,860 Naranja, Tres. 427 00:31:01,828 --> 00:31:03,963 No, naranja 428 00:31:04,064 --> 00:31:08,902 es seis. 429 00:31:08,935 --> 00:31:10,637 ¡Oh, Dios! 430 00:31:10,670 --> 00:31:12,472 Ese sonido. 431 00:31:12,505 --> 00:31:14,574 ¡Ja, ja, ja, ja! 432 00:31:18,545 --> 00:31:19,446 Wow. What the heck? 433 00:31:19,479 --> 00:31:19,913 What is it? 434 00:31:19,946 --> 00:31:20,480 What is this kid. 435 00:31:20,513 --> 00:31:23,650 Dressed exactly like me? 436 00:31:23,683 --> 00:31:25,719 Este es Josito. 437 00:31:25,752 --> 00:31:26,419 Es tu. 438 00:31:26,453 --> 00:31:28,521 Mini me 439 00:31:28,555 --> 00:31:30,156 Hey, nice to meet you, buddy. 440 00:31:30,190 --> 00:31:33,093 Did. Did y'all dress a little kid like me to make fun of me? 441 00:31:33,093 --> 00:31:36,463 Because I don't speak Spanish. 442 00:31:36,496 --> 00:31:38,231 He can write like that. 443 00:31:38,264 --> 00:31:39,766 You can't bear to get like that 444 00:31:39,799 --> 00:31:42,769 because I ain't no hollaback girl. 445 00:31:42,802 --> 00:31:45,805 Ah, yo no te entiendo. 446 00:31:46,473 --> 00:31:47,140 Yeah. 447 00:31:47,173 --> 00:31:47,674 I got to be honest. 448 00:31:47,707 --> 00:31:49,409 I don't care for that. 449 00:31:49,442 --> 00:31:51,111 ¡Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja! 450 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:52,312 No te preocupes. 451 00:31:52,345 --> 00:31:55,248 Porque ahora vas a cantar. 452 00:31:55,281 --> 00:31:57,117 Canta, canta, canta, 453 00:31:57,117 --> 00:31:58,385 canta, canta, canta. 454 00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:00,053 I'm singing now. Okay. 455 00:32:00,053 --> 00:32:01,054 With. With who? 456 00:32:01,054 --> 00:32:05,225 Con el león, por supuesto. 457 00:32:05,258 --> 00:32:06,493 Can I at least have the lyrics? 458 00:32:06,526 --> 00:32:08,361 Claro que sí. 459 00:32:08,395 --> 00:32:11,297 Aquí tenemos subtítulos. 460 00:32:11,331 --> 00:32:12,132 Animals. 461 00:32:12,165 --> 00:32:14,234 Okay, I think I can handle this. 462 00:32:14,267 --> 00:32:15,335 All right? 463 00:32:15,368 --> 00:32:18,271 And you got. No. Wow. 464 00:32:18,304 --> 00:32:19,506 That's great. 465 00:32:19,539 --> 00:32:20,974 That's 466 00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:23,109 that's very 467 00:32:23,143 --> 00:32:23,309 good. 468 00:32:23,977 --> 00:32:26,212 I got oh, my God, that's cow. 469 00:32:28,181 --> 00:32:29,315 Eres un ganador. 470 00:32:29,349 --> 00:32:31,151 Has ganado. 471 00:32:31,184 --> 00:32:33,119 Ya sé. 472 00:32:33,153 --> 00:32:35,088 Y porque te gustan tanto los animales, tu. 473 00:32:35,088 --> 00:32:37,590 Premio es cinco perros. 474 00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:41,094 Wow. Wow. 475 00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:48,401 Todos tenemos muchos juegos. 476 00:32:48,435 --> 00:32:51,771 Tenemos muchos premios. 477 00:33:05,352 --> 00:33:08,788 Attention Splashers Due to a medical emergency, 478 00:33:08,788 --> 00:33:15,729 delays on Devil Dogs Drop. Thank you for your patience. 479 00:33:15,729 --> 00:33:20,367 I'm calling it time of death. 2:21 p.m.. 480 00:33:20,367 --> 00:33:22,302 this is happening. It was fun. Just a minute ago. 481 00:33:22,302 --> 00:33:26,506 It's not your fault. You had to be in his mid 80s. A guy his age should be climbing 482 00:33:26,506 --> 00:33:30,076 if he had a weak heart. 483 00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:32,078 these things just happen. And, you know. 484 00:33:32,078 --> 00:33:38,918 a moment of silence as well.. 485 00:33:38,918 --> 00:33:47,093 Yeah, absolutely. All right, let's bow our heads. Okay, good. 486 00:33:47,093 --> 00:33:55,769 bring him down now. Yep. And. 487 00:33:55,769 --> 00:33:58,505 the stairs. Yes. 488 00:33:58,505 --> 00:34:03,810 be the right thing to do. Yeah, it's a lot of stairs. 489 00:34:03,810 --> 00:34:07,814 in the way up here, right? Yes. 255. 490 00:34:07,814 --> 00:34:13,086 Oh 255. Is that really? Wow. Crazy what they have built these 491 00:34:13,086 --> 00:34:15,955 You guys, like, take him away. 492 00:34:15,955 --> 00:34:21,194 I'm kind of freaking out. Oh. Of course. Yeah. 493 00:34:21,194 --> 00:34:24,798 past all these kids, though. You know, 494 00:34:24,798 --> 00:34:30,570 for them. That's a good point, Neal. 495 00:34:30,570 --> 00:34:33,973 right? I just wish 496 00:34:33,973 --> 00:34:43,783 there was some other way to get him down. No, no. 497 00:34:43,783 --> 00:34:47,287 Did you say.ous? 498 00:34:47,287 --> 00:34:50,357 I'm sorry. What are you guys talking about? 499 00:34:50,357 --> 00:34:56,262 down the waterslide. Wait, wait. 500 00:34:56,262 --> 00:35:01,534 You think we should sin and death alongside? That is interesting. 501 00:35:01,534 --> 00:35:06,373 up, she's not wrong. that. 502 00:35:06,373 --> 00:35:09,776 about it.bring it up. 503 00:35:09,776 --> 00:35:16,049 the 255 stairs. 504 00:35:16,049 --> 00:35:20,320 she pitched a waterslide idea. 505 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:24,057 that's a good idea, Mary. I like that. 506 00:35:24,057 --> 00:35:28,061 in this long line, you know? It seems like you really wanted 507 00:35:28,061 --> 00:35:36,670 to go down. It. It actually seems respectful. Okay. It wasn't my idea. 508 00:35:36,670 --> 00:35:39,072 is this respectful? At the bottom of the slide, 509 00:35:39,072 --> 00:35:44,377 and it takes a picture of you. 510 00:35:44,377 --> 00:35:49,749 the picture.is family think? 511 00:35:49,749 --> 00:35:53,953 Yeah, like 15 bucks anyway. As a total rip off. Okay. But if you do end. 512 00:35:53,953 --> 00:35:56,623 I can hold that for free. My boy Dante,at for free. 513 00:35:56,623 --> 00:35:59,459 he work in the photo hut. Oh, that'd be great. Thank you. 514 00:35:59,459 --> 00:36:04,130 Stop helping. Them. What is wrong with you guys? Okay. All right. 515 00:36:04,130 --> 00:36:07,367 been through a lot today.gether. 516 00:36:07,367 --> 00:36:13,673 is take a breath, relax, and vote on it. 517 00:36:13,673 --> 00:36:18,411 gently down the stairs? 518 00:36:18,411 --> 00:36:24,851 Raise your hand? Yeah. Okay, so one vote for that. 519 00:36:24,851 --> 00:36:30,290 if you want to do her idea and pushant to do her idea 520 00:36:30,290 --> 00:36:36,196 the body down the slide. Yeah. So there's three of us, and then 521 00:36:36,196 --> 00:36:45,372 how many kids have the hand? Oh, well, is it the hands up? It's all the kids. 522 00:36:45,372 --> 00:36:49,242 you won the vote. Congrats. 523 00:36:49,242 --> 00:36:51,644 who lived a life, and you're going to push his 524 00:36:51,644 --> 00:36:57,550 because it's more convenient. Yes, yes. 525 00:36:57,550 --> 00:37:00,854 I want to see how big splash is. Well, don't say that, man.sh is. 526 00:37:00,854 --> 00:37:04,090 if the splash is different. 527 00:37:04,090 --> 00:37:10,063 We all do. But let's not say it. This was a human being. Exactly. 528 00:37:10,063 --> 00:37:13,033 you can't do this. You know what? She's right. 529 00:37:13,033 --> 00:37:15,568 man down the slide. Thank you.he slide. 530 00:37:15,568 --> 00:37:19,572 Somebody's got to go with him. It's a double slide. You needouble slide. 531 00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:23,743 to wait to get through the loop. Oh, shotgun. Okay. 532 00:37:23,743 --> 00:37:27,514 and film it. Oh, okay. Fine. 533 00:37:27,514 --> 00:37:32,052 Oh. All right, all right. All right. Just go ahead and do it. 534 00:37:32,052 --> 00:37:35,255 Arms crossed, legs crossed. 535 00:37:54,774 --> 00:38:01,381 >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, COLDPLAY. 536 00:38:01,381 --> 00:38:09,889 ** * WE'VE BEEN THROUGH LOW BEEN THROUGH SUNSHINE 537 00:38:09,889 --> 00:38:20,567 BEEN THROUGH SNOW * * ALL THE COLORS OF THE WEATHER * 538 00:38:20,567 --> 00:38:29,175 * WE'VE BEEN THROUGH HIGH EVERY CORNER OF THE SKY AND STILL WE'RE 539 00:38:29,175 --> 00:38:45,291 HOLDING ON TOGETHER * * YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE WHETHER IT RAINS OR POURS 540 00:38:45,291 --> 00:38:58,705 I'M ALL YOURS * * YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE WHETHER IT RAINS 541 00:38:58,705 --> 00:39:13,153 IT REMAINS YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE * ** 542 00:39:13,153 --> 00:39:27,133 ** * AND 'TIL I DIE LET ME HOLD YOU 543 00:39:27,133 --> 00:39:36,276 IF YOU CRY * * BE MY ONE TWO THREE FOREVER 544 00:39:36,276 --> 00:39:47,587 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE * * WHETHER IT RAINS OR POURS 545 00:39:47,587 --> 00:40:01,968 I'M ALL YOURS * * YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE WHETHER IT RAINS 546 00:40:01,968 --> 00:40:21,688 IT REMAINS YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE * ** 547 00:40:21,688 --> 00:40:36,102 ** * LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAY WHETHER IT RAINS OR POURS 548 00:40:36,102 --> 00:40:52,552 I'M ALL YOURS * * LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAY THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY * 549 00:40:52,552 --> 00:41:18,611 ** * YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE OH FOR NOW AND ALWAYS 550 00:41:18,611 --> 00:41:36,262 'TIL THE END OF MY DAYS * * YOU GOT ALL MY LOVE YOU'VE GOT ALL MY LOVE * 551 00:41:36,262 --> 00:41:41,267 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU, EVERYBODY. 552 00:41:58,451 --> 00:41:59,953 It's Weekend Update 553 00:42:00,053 --> 00:42:03,056 with Colin Jost and Michael Che. 554 00:42:11,264 --> 00:42:12,132 Thank you very much. 555 00:42:12,165 --> 00:42:13,099 Good evening everyone. 556 00:42:13,133 --> 00:42:14,868 Welcome to weekend that I'm Michael Che. 557 00:42:14,901 --> 00:42:17,871 I'm Colin Jost. 558 00:42:17,904 --> 00:42:19,639 Well guys 559 00:42:19,673 --> 00:42:23,243 the election is exactly 30 days away. 560 00:42:23,276 --> 00:42:26,613 Just think, in only 30 days, this whole nightmare 561 00:42:26,646 --> 00:42:29,883 will be nowhere close to over. 562 00:42:29,916 --> 00:42:32,919 Earlier tonight, Donald Trump held a rally at the site of 563 00:42:32,952 --> 00:42:34,988 his first assassination attempt, 564 00:42:35,088 --> 00:42:37,457 which I have to admit is very brave of him. 565 00:42:37,490 --> 00:42:40,093 Though it was interesting that right before Trump spoke, 566 00:42:40,093 --> 00:42:40,994 he sent J.D. 567 00:42:41,094 --> 00:42:43,963 Vance out in a long red tie and a blond wig. 568 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:48,668 Elon Musk, 569 00:42:48,702 --> 00:42:52,739 seen here trying to jump to Mars, 570 00:42:52,772 --> 00:42:55,542 joined Trump on stage at the rally tonight, 571 00:42:55,575 --> 00:42:57,877 which may be the last time Trump and Musk 572 00:42:57,911 --> 00:43:01,915 will be together until they co-host our Christmas show. 573 00:43:05,085 --> 00:43:07,153 It was reported that last month, the U.S. 574 00:43:07,187 --> 00:43:10,056 added 245,000 new jobs. 575 00:43:10,090 --> 00:43:13,093 Unfortunately, they were all he accuser. 576 00:43:15,929 --> 00:43:17,397 It was announced that Sean P Diddy 577 00:43:17,430 --> 00:43:18,965 Combs, his sex trafficking case, 578 00:43:19,065 --> 00:43:20,900 has been assigned to a new judge, 579 00:43:20,934 --> 00:43:23,937 one that he hopes is cool with rapes 580 00:43:27,574 --> 00:43:28,775 I do it for that guy. 581 00:43:28,808 --> 00:43:30,510 Yeah, sure. 582 00:43:30,543 --> 00:43:34,080 It was reported that Diddy once invited Prince Harry and Prince 583 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,217 William to one of his parties, but they did not go. 584 00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:38,084 Although before 585 00:43:39,185 --> 00:43:41,187 Diddy could even finish writing the invite, Prince Andrew 586 00:43:41,221 --> 00:43:45,358 was there. 587 00:43:45,392 --> 00:43:47,560 Yesterday the devil went down to Georgia. 588 00:43:47,594 --> 00:43:48,695 No. I'm kidding. 589 00:43:48,728 --> 00:43:52,532 Donald Trump traveled to Georgia to survey the damage 590 00:43:52,565 --> 00:43:54,367 from Hurricane Helene, which is bold 591 00:43:54,401 --> 00:43:57,404 because nothing scares Trump more than high winds. 592 00:44:00,373 --> 00:44:03,176 Vice President Kamala Harris traveled to North Carolina 593 00:44:03,209 --> 00:44:05,178 to survey damage from the hurricane, 594 00:44:05,211 --> 00:44:06,413 which is the second time 595 00:44:06,446 --> 00:44:09,582 this year she swooped in after a huge disaster. 596 00:44:16,456 --> 00:44:19,125 New court filings and Donald Trump's election 597 00:44:19,159 --> 00:44:20,193 interference case 598 00:44:20,226 --> 00:44:21,394 reveal that on January 599 00:44:21,428 --> 00:44:24,097 6th, Trump was scrolling through Twitter 600 00:44:24,130 --> 00:44:26,199 during the attack on the Capitol. 601 00:44:26,232 --> 00:44:29,269 Which is just so infuriating to those of us who were there 602 00:44:29,302 --> 00:44:32,305 fighting for him. 603 00:44:35,308 --> 00:44:36,142 It was reported 604 00:44:37,377 --> 00:44:39,979 that Donald Trump has refused to release his medical records. 605 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:41,614 And I bet I know what he's hiding, 606 00:44:41,648 --> 00:44:44,651 but I'm not allowed dementia. It. 607 00:44:53,159 --> 00:44:54,461 And you may have already forgotten, 608 00:44:54,494 --> 00:44:57,464 but this week was also the vice presidential debate 609 00:44:57,497 --> 00:45:00,834 between Mumford and Dad. 610 00:45:00,867 --> 00:45:02,369 This debate was so white, 611 00:45:02,402 --> 00:45:05,405 it made me look Haitian. 612 00:45:08,475 --> 00:45:11,611 Now the debates are apparently all finished, and I'm upset. 613 00:45:11,644 --> 00:45:15,348 How did we never get to see RFK Jr in a debate? 614 00:45:15,382 --> 00:45:17,350 How were we robbed of that? 615 00:45:17,384 --> 00:45:20,620 I love that RFK Jr admitted he dumped a dead bear 616 00:45:20,653 --> 00:45:22,055 in Central Park. 617 00:45:22,055 --> 00:45:25,725 He'd chainsaw the head off a dead whale, strapped it 618 00:45:25,759 --> 00:45:28,194 to the roof of his car like a Christmas tree. 619 00:45:28,228 --> 00:45:31,731 And he told us a worm was living in his brain, 620 00:45:31,765 --> 00:45:33,199 eating through his head. 621 00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:35,769 And still everyone is like, you know who's weird? 622 00:45:35,802 --> 00:45:36,803 JD Vance. 623 00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:42,175 This week, Representative Marjorie 624 00:45:42,208 --> 00:45:46,079 Taylor Greene tweeted, yes, they can control the weather. 625 00:45:46,079 --> 00:45:50,083 And I don't know who they is, but it has been a suspiciously 626 00:45:50,083 --> 00:45:53,086 nice Rorschach on a weekend. 627 00:45:58,091 --> 00:45:59,125 There's not a lot. 628 00:45:59,159 --> 00:46:00,694 That's right. Two claps. 629 00:46:00,727 --> 00:46:01,327 No claps. 630 00:46:01,361 --> 00:46:06,166 Jokes. It. 631 00:46:06,199 --> 00:46:07,834 Don't fall for that. 632 00:46:07,867 --> 00:46:12,372 That's a first for him. 633 00:46:12,405 --> 00:46:14,541 President Biden made a surprise 634 00:46:14,574 --> 00:46:17,644 appearance at a white House press briefing on Friday. 635 00:46:17,677 --> 00:46:20,146 And it's not a great sign when you're at the white House 636 00:46:20,180 --> 00:46:23,183 and people are like, whoa, what's the president doing here? 637 00:46:27,787 --> 00:46:30,290 In honor of Jimmy Carter's 100th birthday, 638 00:46:30,323 --> 00:46:33,393 more than 4000 children around the country send him 639 00:46:33,426 --> 00:46:37,464 hand-drawn cards bearing messages like, who are you? 640 00:46:37,497 --> 00:46:41,434 And my mom made me do this. 641 00:46:44,604 --> 00:46:45,638 Okay. 642 00:46:45,672 --> 00:46:46,573 Holy cow. 643 00:46:46,606 --> 00:46:49,209 A Republican candidate for Senate in Virginia 644 00:46:49,242 --> 00:46:51,244 criticized drag queens and implied 645 00:46:51,277 --> 00:46:53,613 that they are not tough enough to serve in the military. 646 00:46:53,646 --> 00:46:57,117 Which is sad because Hung Cow is a fantastic drag name. 647 00:47:02,022 --> 00:47:03,656 It was revealed that Daniel Day Lewis 648 00:47:03,690 --> 00:47:07,594 is coming out of his seven year retirement to film a new movie, 649 00:47:07,827 --> 00:47:09,029 and you won't believe it. 650 00:47:09,029 --> 00:47:12,032 It's Shrek six. 651 00:47:13,133 --> 00:47:14,534 Richard Branson has launched 652 00:47:14,567 --> 00:47:17,937 a new free online university for people with dyslexia. 653 00:47:18,138 --> 00:47:20,640 You can check it out at 654 00:47:20,674 --> 00:47:23,677 Dyslexia Calm Dot. 655 00:47:25,879 --> 00:47:28,114 A woman in Italy has set a new world 656 00:47:28,148 --> 00:47:30,917 record for having the world's thickest tongue. 657 00:47:30,950 --> 00:47:34,120 Reached for comment, the woman said thanks to the fact. 658 00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:39,325 Boston's first lesbian bar in decades, 659 00:47:39,359 --> 00:47:42,696 called Danny's Queer Bar, has officially opened its doors. 660 00:47:42,729 --> 00:47:44,564 Well, curtains. 661 00:47:44,597 --> 00:47:47,734 But yeah, 662 00:47:47,767 --> 00:47:48,968 but even if you don't drink, 663 00:47:49,069 --> 00:47:52,072 it's a great place to eat out. 664 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,776 But two and a half. 665 00:47:56,810 --> 00:47:58,778 I'm not. Counting that. 666 00:47:58,812 --> 00:48:01,648 It was reported that a man in Austria who was high on 667 00:48:01,681 --> 00:48:05,585 mushrooms used an ax to amputate his own penis. 668 00:48:05,618 --> 00:48:08,621 Worse than he was, like, oh, another mushroom. 669 00:48:13,660 --> 00:48:14,794 It tells the story. 670 00:48:14,828 --> 00:48:19,299 Anyway, a new study on nightlife has found that 71% of Gen 671 00:48:19,332 --> 00:48:22,569 Z has cut back on going out here with a song on 672 00:48:22,602 --> 00:48:25,739 the magic of a great party is new cast member Jane 673 00:48:25,772 --> 00:48:28,775 Wickline 674 00:48:32,212 --> 00:48:33,279 Hi. Hi, Jane. 675 00:48:33,313 --> 00:48:35,081 Welcome. So, are you a big partier? 676 00:48:35,115 --> 00:48:38,051 Of course. Everyone should be. 677 00:48:38,084 --> 00:48:40,587 Wow. I just I wouldn't have guessed that that was your vibe. 678 00:48:40,620 --> 00:48:43,390 Well, when you stay out late, that's extra time. 679 00:48:43,423 --> 00:48:44,591 And I'm tall, so I'm going to die 680 00:48:44,624 --> 00:48:48,294 pretty young, like a big dog. 681 00:48:48,328 --> 00:48:50,697 And staying out every night is how I extend my life. 682 00:48:50,730 --> 00:48:53,800 I get an extra three or even four years. 683 00:48:53,833 --> 00:48:56,436 Wow. That's great. 684 00:48:56,469 --> 00:48:58,371 Well, I guess, you know, take it away. 685 00:48:58,405 --> 00:48:58,738 Okay. 686 00:48:59,339 --> 00:49:01,741 This song is called Party. 687 00:49:02,676 --> 00:49:06,012 Two in the morning and the party's going strong. 688 00:49:06,579 --> 00:49:09,783 I'm on the floor of all the lights flash, baby. 689 00:49:10,450 --> 00:49:14,621 The overhead light flashes and then stays on. 690 00:49:15,655 --> 00:49:18,024 And then the kitchen light turns on. 691 00:49:18,058 --> 00:49:21,027 T.J. packs up because he knows we don't need music 692 00:49:21,061 --> 00:49:24,064 to dance. 693 00:49:25,432 --> 00:49:27,033 People stack up the chairs. 694 00:49:27,033 --> 00:49:27,634 Good idea. 695 00:49:27,667 --> 00:49:30,603 Make the dance floor bigger 696 00:49:30,637 --> 00:49:32,339 so we can dance. Dance. 697 00:49:32,372 --> 00:49:35,475 The post couple goes upstairs. 698 00:49:35,508 --> 00:49:37,911 They're getting freaky at the function. 699 00:49:37,944 --> 00:49:40,046 Sounds like it might be going to bed. 700 00:49:40,046 --> 00:49:41,781 One thing's for sure. 701 00:49:41,815 --> 00:49:43,583 This party is bumping. 702 00:49:43,616 --> 00:49:45,285 And I think the party's over. 703 00:49:45,318 --> 00:49:46,953 We're going to go all night. 704 00:49:47,053 --> 00:49:49,689 I am asked if I need a ride home. 705 00:49:49,723 --> 00:49:50,824 Hell, no. 706 00:49:50,857 --> 00:49:53,159 Someone plays, I clean up song on the laptop. 707 00:49:53,193 --> 00:49:54,461 The music's back. 708 00:49:54,494 --> 00:49:56,196 I'm the belle of the ball. 709 00:49:56,229 --> 00:49:58,698 I'll dance till dawn I am the plus one. 710 00:49:58,732 --> 00:50:01,735 Of someone who has left. 711 00:50:04,804 --> 00:50:06,172 I am the plus one. 712 00:50:06,206 --> 00:50:09,309 Of someone who has left. 713 00:50:09,342 --> 00:50:10,143 All right. 714 00:50:10,176 --> 00:50:12,078 Thank you so much for that great song. 715 00:50:12,112 --> 00:50:13,213 I intend to keep singing. 716 00:50:15,682 --> 00:50:16,983 Six in the morning. 717 00:50:17,017 --> 00:50:19,419 And it's just the real one left. 718 00:50:19,452 --> 00:50:23,089 And then the second wave of death starts coming. 719 00:50:23,123 --> 00:50:24,758 One says she's a dog walker. 720 00:50:24,791 --> 00:50:28,061 Let's not talk about work at a party than a mailman. 721 00:50:28,094 --> 00:50:31,431 That must be the stripper. 722 00:50:31,464 --> 00:50:35,402 Post couple comes downstairs in the bathroom to making coffee. 723 00:50:35,435 --> 00:50:36,636 No, thanks. 724 00:50:36,670 --> 00:50:39,773 I'm on something stronger than it was for themselves. 725 00:50:39,806 --> 00:50:42,075 Issue me glances. 726 00:50:42,108 --> 00:50:43,009 Don't be shy. 727 00:50:43,043 --> 00:50:45,945 Ask me out. 728 00:50:45,979 --> 00:50:48,214 One of them goes to work. 729 00:50:48,248 --> 00:50:50,884 While you're out, can you grab some Pedialyte 730 00:50:50,917 --> 00:50:53,653 and vodka? 731 00:50:53,687 --> 00:50:55,488 One thing's for sure. 732 00:50:55,522 --> 00:50:57,991 This party is never gonna stop. 733 00:50:58,024 --> 00:51:00,760 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. 734 00:51:00,794 --> 00:51:03,296 I am told the police are on their way. 735 00:51:03,329 --> 00:51:04,798 More strippers from outside. 736 00:51:04,831 --> 00:51:08,335 I hear the it's yellow school bus. 737 00:51:08,368 --> 00:51:09,502 I'll make the next one. 738 00:51:09,536 --> 00:51:11,371 I'll hit the after party. Next. 739 00:51:11,404 --> 00:51:14,541 I am the plus one of someone. 740 00:51:14,574 --> 00:51:15,542 Who has left. 741 00:51:18,945 --> 00:51:19,546 I am the. 742 00:51:19,579 --> 00:51:21,614 Plus one of a plus one. 743 00:51:21,648 --> 00:51:24,651 Someone who doesn't know the host that well, either. 744 00:51:26,086 --> 00:51:27,620 I am the plus one of a plus 745 00:51:27,654 --> 00:51:30,657 two of a plus three in the host landlord 746 00:51:31,624 --> 00:51:33,193 who has left. 747 00:51:33,226 --> 00:51:34,127 I am the plus. 748 00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,196 One of someone. 749 00:51:36,229 --> 00:51:38,732 I made up, 750 00:51:38,765 --> 00:51:42,335 Jane Wickline everyone 751 00:51:42,369 --> 00:51:44,104 Weekend update, I'm Colin Jost 752 00:51:57,250 --> 00:52:00,620 And here is the Caesar salad. And here's will be right up. 753 00:52:00,620 --> 00:52:05,258 so I know it's not a fun topic, 754 00:52:05,258 --> 00:52:10,196 we got to talk about dad. Do we have to? It'st dad. 755 00:52:10,196 --> 00:52:14,434 just so hard. His dementia is getting worse. Okay,ementia is getting worse. 756 00:52:14,434 --> 00:52:17,270 we can't just ignore it anymore. Brian's right. The next step in 757 00:52:17,270 --> 00:52:21,941 I know I'm new the next life. 758 00:52:21,941 --> 00:52:24,544 last year with my mom. If you have any questions, 759 00:52:24,544 --> 00:52:28,181 I just want to be here for it. 760 00:52:28,181 --> 00:52:31,584 Thanks, Jane. I mean, it's really sweet. Guys, I think this all feels 761 00:52:31,584 --> 00:52:37,190 a little premature. Dad seems fine. Jen. He doesn't remember my name. 762 00:52:39,192 --> 00:52:41,194 We need attention. Everyone in Smitty's 763 00:52:41,194 --> 00:52:47,667 the Mile High burger challenge. 764 00:52:47,967 --> 00:52:50,904 What? Oh, what is it? What? I hope you'vet is it? What? 765 00:52:50,904 --> 00:52:55,709 95 ounce burger behemoth. 766 00:52:55,709 --> 00:53:01,281 he's one in on jumbo cherry chocolate shake up. 767 00:53:01,281 --> 00:53:05,352 but I just thought this? 768 00:53:05,352 --> 00:53:11,591 it was an ode to Denver. Like there'd be an egg on it. I'm not doing this. I'm sorry. 769 00:53:11,591 --> 00:53:15,462 let me be your silent resource. 770 00:53:15,829 --> 00:53:19,065 in under ten minutes, 771 00:53:19,065 --> 00:53:22,068 for two to Hawaii. 772 00:53:26,506 --> 00:53:28,241 Anyway, spoke to the doctor, 773 00:53:28,241 --> 00:53:31,378 to live alone anymore.ad's 774 00:53:31,378 --> 00:53:34,447 the space to accommodate him. 775 00:53:34,748 --> 00:53:37,317 neither can I. 776 00:53:37,317 --> 00:53:39,152 what about your guest house? 777 00:53:40,186 --> 00:53:43,590 I mean, that's an option. Nine minutes left. 778 00:53:43,590 --> 00:53:46,559 AC in there, though. 779 00:53:47,927 --> 00:53:50,096 Okay, thanks. Hey. Sorry. 780 00:53:50,096 --> 00:53:56,503 So, what are you going to do? The Mile-high challenge. I'm just gonna try. 781 00:53:56,503 --> 00:54:00,507 leaving America.y. 782 00:54:00,507 --> 00:54:03,476 Hawaii is in America. 783 00:54:03,877 --> 00:54:06,880 I doubt that. She's got this. 784 00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:12,252 I've seen her eat. A whole is on you before. Just to cheer me up. 785 00:54:13,186 --> 00:54:16,156 Why would that cheer you up? 786 00:54:16,623 --> 00:54:19,759 All right, look, you guys talk. I remember I'mk, you guys talk. 787 00:54:19,759 --> 00:54:22,095 a silent resource. 788 00:54:23,263 --> 00:54:26,166 Okay, well, back to dad. Why don't we start 789 00:54:26,166 --> 00:54:29,135 to drop in on him 790 00:54:29,636 --> 00:54:32,972 for real? Home. 791 00:54:32,972 --> 00:54:37,844 Excuse me. What? Put him in a home at the sight. 792 00:54:37,844 --> 00:54:38,445 Out of mind. 793 00:54:40,580 --> 00:54:42,382 Well, with all due respect, Janey, we can't just 794 00:54:42,382 --> 00:54:45,318 put him in a home, okay? 795 00:54:45,652 --> 00:54:48,655 But dad told me after mom died. I'm sorry.ld me after mom died. 796 00:54:48,655 --> 00:54:52,959 Chestnut style.ys doing? 797 00:54:55,829 --> 00:55:00,633 Oh. Figure. 798 00:55:03,737 --> 00:55:06,706 No, I got a question. 799 00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:09,876 M-my mozzarella sticks. Still coming? 800 00:55:09,876 --> 00:55:11,745 Yeah. Oh my God. By the way, 801 00:55:11,745 --> 00:55:17,717 do you think there's a variant? I doubt not. Do you think the cheeseburger 802 00:55:17,717 --> 00:55:20,687 and milkshake have dairy in it? 803 00:55:21,554 --> 00:55:24,124 Five minutes remaining. You know what that means. 804 00:55:24,124 --> 00:55:27,093 anymore. 805 00:55:29,062 --> 00:55:39,639 Oh. Guys, 806 00:55:40,106 --> 00:55:43,076 look. 807 00:55:44,177 --> 00:55:48,381 Dad's. Dad! 808 00:55:50,083 --> 00:55:52,285 bones are getting more brittle 809 00:55:52,285 --> 00:55:55,255 by the day. 810 00:55:56,456 --> 00:55:59,426 We need to get him a nurse. 811 00:55:59,693 --> 00:56:01,361 going to object 812 00:56:01,361 --> 00:56:04,330 to having a cute nurse around? 813 00:56:07,233 --> 00:56:08,401 No, that is. True, 814 00:56:09,569 --> 00:56:11,671 honey. It's always. You know what? 815 00:56:11,671 --> 00:56:16,242 you're using your hands, Janey. 816 00:56:18,311 --> 00:56:23,183 I am so, so full from that lasagna this morning. 817 00:56:24,284 --> 00:56:27,253 The lasagna was this morning. 818 00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:28,855 Okay, Nick. Janey,Nick. 819 00:56:28,855 --> 00:56:34,294 the whole burger challenge feels really disrespectful. Just spiteful. 820 00:56:34,294 --> 00:56:39,566 Oh my God. Oh! Oh my God. Oh, my. 821 00:56:39,866 --> 00:56:44,137 No! Look. Oh, look. Look at me. 822 00:56:44,137 --> 00:56:48,908 Look at me and listen to me. Because I've been where you are. 823 00:56:49,242 --> 00:56:52,912 Where you are. Okay. 824 00:56:53,313 --> 00:56:56,349 Take a peek at that wall. No. 825 00:56:57,684 --> 00:57:01,321 I'm. That's right. The old man completed 826 00:57:01,321 --> 00:57:06,459 but dad never gave up.hallenge. 827 00:57:07,193 --> 00:57:10,363 figured the best way to honor 828 00:57:10,363 --> 00:57:15,301 never give up on him, either.er 829 00:57:15,902 --> 00:57:18,772 So what do you say? Am I finishing in time? 830 00:57:43,129 --> 00:57:47,567 >>> ONCE AGAIN, COLDPLAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 831 00:57:47,567 --> 00:57:59,346 * WHOA * ** * GO * 832 00:57:59,346 --> 00:58:21,368 ** ** * OOOOOOH 833 00:58:21,368 --> 00:58:30,710 ** * OOOOOOH I PRAY THAT I DON'T 834 00:58:30,710 --> 00:58:34,447 GIVE UP * * PRAY THAT I DO MY BEST PRAY THAT I CAN LIFT UP 835 00:58:34,447 --> 00:58:41,421 PRAY MY BROTHER IS BLESSED PRAYING FOR ENOUGH * * PRAY VIRGILIO WINS 836 00:58:41,421 --> 00:58:44,591 PRAY I JUDGE NOBODY AND FORGIVE ME MY SINS I PRAY WE MAKE IT * 837 00:58:44,591 --> 00:58:48,361 * PRAY MY FRIEND WILL PULL THROUGH PRAY AS I TAKE IT 838 00:58:48,361 --> 00:58:55,301 UNTO OTHERS I DO * * PRAYING ON YOUR LOVE WE PRAY WITH EVERY BREATH 839 00:58:55,301 --> 00:58:59,572 THOUGH I'M IN THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH * * AND SO WE PRAY 840 00:58:59,572 --> 00:59:02,742 FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND SHOW ME THE WAY AND SO WE PRAY * 841 00:59:02,742 --> 00:59:06,012 * FOR SOME SHELTER AND SOME RECORDS TO PLAY AND SO WE PRAY * 842 00:59:06,012 --> 00:59:10,784 * AND WE'LL BE SINGING BARAYE PRAY THAT WE MAKE IT 843 00:59:10,784 --> 00:59:14,020 TO THE END OF THE DAY * * AND SO WE PRAY I KNOW SOMEWHERE 844 00:59:14,020 --> 00:59:17,691 THAT HEAVEN IS WAITING AND SO WE PRAY * * I KNOW SOMEWHERE 845 00:59:17,691 --> 00:59:20,894 THERE'S SOMETHING AMAZING AND SO WE PRAY * * I KNOW SOMEWHERE 846 00:59:20,894 --> 00:59:27,801 WE'LL FEEL NO PAIN UNTIL WE MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE DAY * 847 00:59:27,801 --> 00:59:55,061 [ SINGING IN GLOBAL LANGUAGE ] ** [ SINGING IN GLOBAL LANGUAGE ] 848 00:59:55,061 --> 00:59:57,697 * AND SO WE PRAY FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND SHOW ME THE WAY * 849 00:59:57,697 --> 01:00:00,834 * AND SO WE PRAY FOR SOME SHELTER AND SOME RECORDS TO PLAY * 850 01:00:00,834 --> 01:00:05,105 * AND SO WE PRAY AND WE'LL BE SINGING BARAYE * 851 01:00:05,105 --> 01:00:09,476 * PRAY THAT WE MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE DAY * * AND SO WE PRAY 852 01:00:09,476 --> 01:00:13,580 I KNOW SOMEWHERE THAT HEAVEN IS WAITING * * AND SO WE PRAY 853 01:00:13,580 --> 01:00:16,249 I KNOW SOMEWHERE THERE'S SOMETHING AMAZING * * AND SO WE PRAY 854 01:00:16,249 --> 01:00:21,054 I KNOW SOMEWHERE WE'LL FEEL NO PAIN * * UNTIL WE MAKE IT 855 01:00:21,054 --> 01:00:25,892 TO THE END OF THE DAY * * ON MY KNEES I PRAY AS I SLEEP AND WAKE 856 01:00:25,892 --> 01:00:31,731 'CAUSE INSIDE MY HEAD IS A FRIGHTENING PLACE * * KEEP A SMILING FACE 857 01:00:31,731 --> 01:00:36,569 ONLY BY HIS GRACE CAUSE LOVE'S MORE THAN I CAN TAKE * 858 01:00:36,569 --> 01:00:41,841 * AND SO WE PRAY AND SO WE PRAY AND SO WE PRAY 859 01:00:41,841 --> 01:00:48,782 AND SO WE PRAY * * WE'LL BE SINGING BARAYE ‘TIL NOBODY'S IN NEED 860 01:00:48,782 --> 01:00:58,858 AND EVERYBODY CAN SAY * * LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA 861 01:00:58,858 --> 01:01:04,264 LA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA * * WE PRAY 862 01:01:04,264 --> 01:01:09,502 WE PRAY I KNOW SOMEWHERE THAT HEAVEN IS WAITING * 863 01:01:09,502 --> 01:01:14,240 * I KNOW SOMEWHERE THERE'S SOMETHING AMAZING AND WE'LL BE SINGING 864 01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:18,511 BARAYE * * WE PRAY WE PRAY 865 01:01:18,511 --> 01:01:25,518 WE PRAY * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 866 01:01:36,363 --> 01:01:42,635 >> DORINE, WE'RE READY FOR THE NEXT PRESENTATION. 867 01:01:51,177 --> 01:01:53,546 >> GENTLEMAN, WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR US TODAY? 868 01:01:53,546 --> 01:02:00,053 >> THIS. [ SLAMMING GROUND ] ** 869 01:02:00,053 --> 01:02:07,427 * SUSHI GLORYHOLE IMAGINE THAT * * SUSHI GLORYHOLE 870 01:02:07,427 --> 01:02:10,330 IMAGINE THAT * * INSTEAD OF STRANGE [ BLEEP ] 871 01:02:10,330 --> 01:02:12,232 YOU BE GETTING A SNACK A SNACK * * HIGH END FISH 872 01:02:12,232 --> 01:02:17,504 NO DOUBT * * HEY WHERE YOU GOING HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT 873 01:02:17,504 --> 01:02:21,374 HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT * * HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT 874 01:02:21,374 --> 01:02:23,343 HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEY WHERE YOU GOING HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT * 875 01:02:23,343 --> 01:02:27,080 * HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT * * SUSHI GLORYHOLE 876 01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:30,316 MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE NOT TO DO IT * * FISH THROUGH A HOLE 877 01:02:30,316 --> 01:02:32,886 YOU KNOW THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' TO IT * * AND THERE IS NO SCENARIO 878 01:02:32,886 --> 01:02:35,755 WHERE SHE WOULDN'T WANT IT * * SO DROP TO YOUR KNEES OPEN WIDE AND GET READY 879 01:02:35,755 --> 01:02:39,893 FOR SOME RICE WITH FISH ON IT * * RICE WITH FISH ON IT 880 01:02:39,893 --> 01:02:45,131 HEAR US OUT * * YOU GOT NOTHING TO FEAR SUSHI GLORYHOLE 881 01:02:45,131 --> 01:02:48,301 IS A GOOD IDEA-R AND IT'S NOT WEIRD * * SO HEAR US OUT 882 01:02:48,301 --> 01:02:51,471 WHILE WE TELL YOU WHAT THE CONCEPT'S ALL ABOUT * 883 01:02:51,471 --> 01:02:55,175 * IT'S SUSHI BEING FED THROUGH A HOLE IN THE WALL WHERE YOU GOING 884 01:02:55,175 --> 01:02:58,912 WHERE YOU GOING * * HEAR US OUT YOU FORGOT TO EAT 885 01:02:58,912 --> 01:03:03,683 NOW YOU'RE OUT AND ABOUT BUT YOU WANNA BE DISCREET * * CAN'T BE EATING OMAKASE 886 01:03:03,683 --> 01:03:05,819 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET NO NO * 887 01:03:05,819 --> 01:03:11,091 * THEN YOU OPEN THE APP SGH IS ALL OVER THE MAP * * SO YOU HEAD TO A CLUB 888 01:03:11,091 --> 01:03:14,828 HIT THE BATHROOM STALL FIND A SUSHI-SIZED HOLE IN THE BATHROOM WALL * 889 01:03:14,828 --> 01:03:18,565 * THEN MAKE A WISH AND PREPARE FOR SOME SHOCKINGLY HIGH-GRADE FISH * 890 01:03:18,565 --> 01:03:23,303 * WHERE YOU GOIN' COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK 891 01:03:23,303 --> 01:03:25,405 COME BACK COME BACK * * HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT 892 01:03:25,405 --> 01:03:29,142 HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT HEAR US OUT * * YOU KNOW I'M FOOLIN' 893 01:03:29,142 --> 01:03:30,777 WITH YOUSE AND WHAT YOU WOULD USUALLY DO TO IT * 894 01:03:30,777 --> 01:03:32,912 * IF YOU GOT FUND APPROVAL YOU'RE WHO WE'RE TRYIN' TO GET THROUGH TO 895 01:03:32,912 --> 01:03:36,082 AY * * AND NO GIMMICKY ROLES JUST STRICTLY NIGIRI 896 01:03:36,082 --> 01:03:40,286 COMING OUT OF THE HOLES * * AND NO SUBSTITUTION TO OUR SPECIAL REQUESTS 897 01:03:40,286 --> 01:03:44,090 AND NO [ BLEEP ] AND NO SEX * * THAT'S TWO STALLS OVER 898 01:03:44,090 --> 01:03:46,659 SO YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU COME IN SOBER * 899 01:03:46,659 --> 01:03:49,329 * 'CAUSE NONE OF THEM ARE LABELED * * AND FULL DISCLOSURE 900 01:03:49,329 --> 01:03:52,532 THERE'S A CHANCE YOU'RE GONNA GET A [ BLEEP ] * 901 01:03:52,532 --> 01:03:55,702 * BUT IT'S WORTH IT 'CAUSE THE QUALITY OF FISH * * YEAH 902 01:03:55,702 --> 01:03:57,570 THE FLAVOR THAT YOU GAIN OUTWEIGHS THE RISK * * DON'T LEAVE DON'T LEAVE 903 01:03:57,570 --> 01:03:59,439 DON'T LEAVE DON'T LEAVE WHERE YOU GOING COME BACK * 904 01:03:59,439 --> 01:04:01,574 * HEAR US OUT DON'T LEAVE * * AT A SEX CLUB 905 01:04:01,574 --> 01:04:03,743 WHEN YOU NEED STAMINA FOR SEX BUT FORGOT TO EAT * 906 01:04:03,743 --> 01:04:06,179 * BACK SOON SUSHI GLORYHOLE AT A SUSHI RESTAURANT * 907 01:04:06,179 --> 01:04:08,048 * WHERE YOU DON'T LIKE THE FOOD IN THE BACK * 908 01:04:08,048 --> 01:04:11,551 * OF THE BATHROOM SUSHI GLORYHOLE 909 01:04:12,619 --> 01:04:15,622 DON'T LEAVE * 910 01:04:30,537 --> 01:04:32,672 God, that was terrible. We're getting our asses 911 01:04:32,672 --> 01:04:35,675 can't catch a single pass. 912 01:04:35,675 --> 01:04:41,715 Would you say Daniels? We're talking citrus down now. What's going on, fellas? 913 01:04:41,715 --> 01:04:44,784 there? Coach, they got a block. I don't want to hear it. block. 914 01:04:44,784 --> 01:04:49,923 you just don't get it, do you? 915 01:04:50,190 --> 01:04:53,093 This ain't about you. It's not. It's about the team. 916 01:04:53,093 --> 01:04:55,328 to win at all costs. If we don't have that, 917 01:04:55,328 --> 01:04:59,132 we don't have nothing. And if we don't have nothing, how the hell are we going to win 918 01:04:59,132 --> 01:05:03,303 you got anything to. 919 01:05:03,303 --> 01:05:06,239 listen to what he said. 920 01:05:06,239 --> 01:05:09,576 some of you still owe me $20 for the jerseys. 921 01:05:11,044 --> 01:05:12,812 about when we go back out there? 922 01:05:12,812 --> 01:05:16,583 go talk to your mom and dad. Tell em Coach Allen still needs 923 01:05:16,583 --> 01:05:24,424 the $20 for the jerseys. Coach. Okay. 924 01:05:24,424 --> 01:05:28,161 eight weeks into the season. Every game matters now. 925 01:05:28,161 --> 01:05:31,364 Eight weeks. Eight weeks. 926 01:05:31,364 --> 01:05:36,369 that got me the $20 budget. It's not going to go away. 927 01:05:36,369 --> 01:05:41,341 I wrote it down. So head coach. Okay, 928 01:05:41,341 --> 01:05:44,611 than I likewe go. 929 01:05:44,611 --> 01:05:47,414 another time.t halftime, 930 01:05:47,414 --> 01:05:51,451 Guys, this is the problem. We got no focus. We don't want it 931 01:05:51,451 --> 01:05:54,821 state this year, right now, 932 01:05:54,821 --> 01:05:58,224 needs to check yourself. Yeah. Speaking of checks. 933 01:05:58,224 --> 01:06:02,529 on how to fill one out properly. 934 01:06:02,529 --> 01:06:04,497 with a check, you got to make it out to Allen 935 01:06:04,497 --> 01:06:10,637 Allen.was c h. 936 01:06:10,637 --> 01:06:15,241 my account. Is it Coach Allen? 937 01:06:15,241 --> 01:06:20,714 It's Allen Walsh, WRAL s c h. There's a C in there. 938 01:06:22,215 --> 01:06:25,151 All right, all right. Thank you. 939 01:06:25,151 --> 01:06:28,388 who's willing to step up. 940 01:06:29,789 --> 01:06:31,191 I am coach. Thank you. 941 01:06:31,191 --> 01:06:34,327 for Coach Daniels right here. 942 01:06:34,961 --> 01:06:37,731 B to coach? 943 01:06:37,731 --> 01:06:40,600 the jerseys right now. Hey, coach. 944 01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:42,902 What's your Venmo? I don't know. I mean, I don't know what 945 01:06:42,902 --> 01:06:48,141 and we ask our parents 946 01:06:48,141 --> 01:06:54,414 for a check for the jerseys. Who's with me? Yeah. Wow. 947 01:07:13,333 --> 01:07:20,540 >>> THANKS TO COLDPLAY, MAYA RUDOLPH, ANDY SAMBERG, JIM 948 01:07:20,540 --> 01:07:26,046 GAFFIGAN. YOU WERE AWESOME. VANDERBILT BEAT ALABAMA. 949 01:07:26,046 --> 01:07:29,049 THANK YOU, WE LOVE YOU.