1 00:00:05,538 --> 00:00:07,874 [ APPLAUSE ] GOOD EVENING. 2 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:11,611 I'M JUDY WOODRUFF. AND THIS IS THE PBS NEWS HOUR. WE'RE WHAT YOUR GRANDMA IS 3 00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:16,416 TALKING ABOUT WHEN SHE SAYS, I SAW THIS ON THE NEWS. WITH THE MIDTERMS LESS THAN TWO 4 00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:26,760 WEEKS AWAY, REPUBLICANS SEEM TO BE SURGING WITH A STRONG MESSAGE FROM CANDIDATES WHO 5 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,461 HAVE GONE FROM UNDERDOGS TO STARS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. BUT HOW? 6 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,330 TONIGHT WE SPEAK TO THREE OF THEM. FIRST, SENATE CANDIDATE FROM 7 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:40,707 GEORGIA, HERSCHEL WALKER. HELLO, JUDICE. MY NAME IS HERSCHEL WALKER, 8 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:45,311 TEXAS RANGER. AND I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED AIRLINES. 9 00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:46,980 NEXT IS PENNSYLVANIA'S REPUBLICAN SENATE CANDIDATE, DR. OZ. 10 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:54,554 HELLO, JUDY! MY PENNSYLVANIA PHILLIES ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES. 11 00:00:54,554 --> 00:01:02,562 AND I JUST HAD A DELICIOUS PHILADELPHIA CHEESE AND STEAK. YUM! 12 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:14,307 ALSO JOINING US IS ARIZONA'S REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR, CONSIDER -- KERI LAKE. 13 00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,076 GREAT TO BE WITH YOU, JUDY ON YOUR SWEET LITTLE SHOW FULL OF LIES. 14 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,144 OKAY. WELL, ALL THREE OF YOU HAVE BEEN GAINING IN THE POLLS THE PAST 15 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:22,415 FEW WEEKS DESPITE NONE OF YOU HAVING ANY POLITICAL EXPERIENCE. CORRECT. 16 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:33,793 PROUD OF IT. MR. WALKER, YOU'RE NOW WITHIN PLEA POINTS OF SENATOR RAPHAEL 17 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,929 WARNOCK. THE WHOLE WORLD IS A MYSTERY, AIN'T IT? 18 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,666 FOR PER EXAMPLE, A THERMOS, IT KEEPS THE HOT THINGS HOT, BUT ALSO THE COLD THINGS COLD. 19 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:42,569 MY QUESTION IS, HOW DO IT DECIDE? SO WE GOING TO BE LOOKING INTO 20 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:47,107 THAT VERY MUCH. WELL, YOU'VE HAD A TOUGH CAMPAIGN. 21 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:58,218 A SECOND WOMAN HAS NOW CLAIMED YOU PAID FOR HER ABORTION, AND A EX-WIFE HAS SAID YOU ONCE HELD A 22 00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,954 GUN TO HER HEAD. WHY ARE GEORGIA RESIDENTS VOTING FOR YOU? 23 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,056 GAS. OKAY. GAS PRICES ARE HIGH, BUT IS 24 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:11,498 THERE MORE TO IT THAN THAT? YES. OF COURSE THERE IS. 25 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:20,940 I'M FUN. IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE JUMBO TRON AT THE PACKERS GAME, YOU 26 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:25,745 GOT TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF. LIKE THE GREAT DONALD TRUMP SAID, I CAN PAY FOR AN ABORTION 27 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:36,122 IN THE MIDDLE OF FIFTH AVENUE AND NOT LOSE ANY VOTERS. THAT'S A PROMISE FROM ME, HER 28 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:40,627 SHELL. NOW, DR. OZ, YOU CAUGHT UP TO YOUR CANDIDATE RECENTLY. 29 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:47,534 I SURE HAVE. I WAS A LONG HAD SHOT JUDY. BUT I WAS TOLD, YOU CAN WIN THIS 30 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:54,774 ELECTION IF YOU'RE HONEST, FAIR, AND IF YOUR OPPONENT HAS A DEBILITATING MEDICAL EMERGENCY. 31 00:02:54,774 --> 00:03:06,353 WE'RE VERY LUCKY. MS. LAKE, YOU WERE A LOCAL NEWS ANCHOR AND A DEMOCRAT FOR 32 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:19,599 SEVERAL YEARS, AND YOU'RE GAINING VOTERS, HOW? BECAUSE I'M NORMAL, JUDY. 33 00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:23,303 I'VE MET WITH THE WONDERFULLY TERRIFIED OLD PEOPLE HERE IN FLORIDA. 34 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:29,743 ALSO, I'M A FIGHTER. IN MY LIFE, I'VE SENT BACK OVER 2,000 SALADS, OKAY? 35 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:36,449 AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO DO THE SAME THING WITH DEMOCRACY. VERY WELL. 36 00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:42,489 NOW, ONE OF YOUR MAIN CAMPAIGN ISSUES IS THE DENIAL OF 2020 ELECTION. 37 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:49,696 CAN YOU MEDIA TYPES GET OVER THE ONE THING I'VE MADE THE CENTER OF MY CAMPAIGN FOR MONTHS 38 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:55,502 AND MONTHS. ARIZONAENS WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT AFFECT THEM, LIKE 39 00:03:55,502 --> 00:04:03,343 CRIME IN NEW YORK OR CRIME IN DETROIT, OR THE MOST PRESSING ISSUE, DRAG QUEEN DRESS TIME, 40 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:07,047 INTRODUCING CHILDREN TO THE JOYS OF READING. NOT ON MY WATCH? 41 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:11,117 CAN YOU PASS IT TO ME, PLEASE? I'M OPEN. 42 00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:17,724 LISTEN, JUDICE. WE GOT BABIES OUT HERE IN SCHOOL FIEG AS A POKEMON. 43 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:22,062 THAT'S CRAZY. MY SON IS A BOY LAST TIME I CHECKED BY TEXT. 44 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:27,834 HE CERTAINLY AIN'T NO SNORLAX. AND THAT'S JUST ALL RIGHT. EXCUSE ME. 45 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:31,838 I'M GETTING ALL WORKED UP RIGHT NOW. MY HEAD IS GETTING VERY HOT. 46 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:41,247 JUDY, WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES, AND I RECOMMEND THIS MIRACULOUS DRUG TO HELP THEM 47 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:45,585 LOSE 30 POUNDS IN JUST ONE CALENDAR DAY. GREAT. 48 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:50,990 NOW, MS. LAKE, YOU HAVE PROPOSED SOME BIG CHANGES TO LOCAL VOTING LAWS. 49 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:55,862 IF YOU BECOME GOVERNOR, DO YOU PROMISE TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE'S VOTE COUNTS? 50 00:04:55,862 --> 00:05:04,037 IF THE PEOPLE OF ARIZONA ELECT ME, I'LL MAKE SURE THEY NEVER HAVE TO VOTE EVER AGAIN. 51 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:09,175 SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT KIND OF ELECTION, DENIAL CONTRIBUTES TO VIOLENCE. 52 00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:17,117 LIKE CRAZY ODD MEN IN TACTICAL GEAR WAVING ASSAULT RIFLES AT BALLOT BOXES? 53 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:23,089 THAT'S JUST ARIZONA, BABY. NOTHING I SAY CAN BE INCENDIARY BECAUSE I SAY IT IN TV VOICE. 54 00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:29,329 SO JUMP ON TO KERI LAKE, ARIZONA. IT'S PLACID AND SERENE ON TOP, 55 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:35,835 BUT UNDERNEATH, IT'S A WHOLE LOT OF GIARDIA. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, AND 56 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:41,741 THANK YOU TO DR. OZ AND HERSCHEL WALKER. GO HALLOWEEN. 57 00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:47,514 GO HALLOWEEN. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"! 58 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:53,319 Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." 59 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,370 HOST AND MUSICAL GUEST, JACK HARLOW. 60 00:07:50,370 --> 00:08:12,025 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JACK HARLOW! [ APPLAUSE ] 61 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:24,704 THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THIS IS INCREDIBLE. 62 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:31,544 MY NAME IS JACK HARLOW. IT'S BEEN A BIG YEAR FOR ME. [ APPLAUSE ] 63 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:36,316 I PUT OUT MY SECOND ALBUM. I WENT ON A WORLD TOUR. I JUST SHOT MY FIRST MOVIE, 64 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:46,426 "WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP." AND A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING, LIKE, I'M THE G.O.A.T. 65 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:55,201 BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY DON'T MEAN GREATEST OF ALL TIME. THEY MEAN THAT ONE FROM NARNIA. 66 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:59,673 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT ME, BUT PEOPLE ON THE 67 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:04,010 INTERNET LIKE TO ROAST ME. AND I DON'T MIND. I THINK IT'S FUNNY. 68 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:07,147 I SAW ONE GUY SAY, I DON'T KNOW WHY Y'ALL THINK JACK HARLOW IS SO SPECIAL. 69 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:14,187 YOU CAN FIND ANYONE THAT LOOKS LIKE HIM AT ANY LOCAL GAS STATION. 70 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,890 I'VE HEARD THEM SAY I LOOK LIKE IF YOU TRIED TO DRAW JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE FROM MEMORY. 71 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:30,804 [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK MY FAVORITE ONE IS JACK HARLOW LOOKS LIKE THE GUY WHO 72 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:35,075 RIPS THE TICKETS IN HALF AT THE MOVIE THEATER. [ LAUGHTER ] 73 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:48,421 WHAT, Y'ALL AGREE WITH THAT? THERE'S ALSO A STRANGE AMOUNT OF RUE MORSE ABOUT ME. 74 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,757 SOME PEOPLE THINK I'M ONLY 5'10", STOP IT. OTHER PEOPLE THINK I WAS CREATED 75 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:54,527 BY THE CIA. NO TELLING. SOME PEOPLE HAVE EVEN GONE AS 76 00:09:54,527 --> 00:10:03,136 FAR AS ACCUSING ME OF BEING WHITE. [ LAUGHTER ] 77 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:07,540 AND I'VE SEEN A LOT OF KIDS RUNNING AROUND DRESSED AS ME FOR HALLOWEEN, AND I WANT TO SAY, 78 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:21,721 CUT IT OUT. MY CULTURE IS NOT A COSTUME. [ LAUGHTER ] 79 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:25,458 I'VE ALSO HEARD PEOPLE TRY TO ROMANTICALLY LINK ME AND LIL NAS X AS AN ITEM. 80 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:31,931 I'M GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, NO. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN 81 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:35,635 HIM AND I WAS CASUAL AND CONSENSUAL AND ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. 82 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:49,182 [ APPLAUSE ] WORKING WITH HIM, WORKING WITH HIM. 83 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:57,190 WHAT'S REALLY CRAZY, THOUGH, IS THIS SHOW IS LIVE. IT'S ONE OF THE LAST REAL LIVE 84 00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:04,664 SHOWS. BASICALLY IT'S THIS AND "THE OFFICE." 85 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,499 I CAN DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. LIKE NO ONE CAN STOP ME. 86 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,635 I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO STAY ON THIS STAGE. IN FACT, I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO 87 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:25,552 LEAVE THIS STAGE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? McKAYLA. 88 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:32,625 EVERYBODY GIVE IT UP FOR McKAYLA PLEASE. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE 89 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:37,530 TO SAY WITH THE WORLD WATCHING? HUGE JACK HARLOW FAN. UNBELIEVABLE. 90 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:43,970 THANK YOU SO MUCH. EVERYONE, SERIOUSLY, GIVE IT UP FOR McKAYLA. 91 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:47,273 WOW. THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. LISTEN. 92 00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:52,178 I JUST WANT TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT TO MY FAMILY. MY MOM AND DAD ARE HERE TONIGHT. 93 00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:58,985 MY GRAND PARENTS ARE HERE TONIGHT. I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU. 94 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,054 Y'ALL ARE THE REASON I GET TO STAND ON THIS STAGE AND SAY, WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 95 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,491 TONIGHT STICK AROUND WE|LL BE BACK WE|LL BE BACK 96 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:17,604 AND DOONEY, NO MATTER COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, I'M GOING TO LOVE YOU UNTIL I GOT NO MORE 97 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,407 LOVE TO GIVE. I SWEAR THAT TO YOU. WHATEVER. 98 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:27,447 THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL, PATCH. NOW, IF ANYONE HERE HAS REASON WHY THESE TWO SHOULD NOT BE WED, 99 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:31,584 SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE. YEAH, I GOT A REASON. 100 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:35,789 BABE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JUST SAYING I DON'T KNOW IF I FEEL LIKE MARRYING YOU NO MORE 101 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:42,562 ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR BEST MAN CAME TO OUR WEDDING DRESSED LIKE JOKER. 102 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:46,666 YOU DON'T LIKE ME BEING DRESSED LIKE JOKER? NO, CLINT, I DON'T LIKE IT. 103 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:52,138 I KNOW WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT, BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU BEING DRESSED LIKE 104 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,441 JOKER. YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT, I THOUGHT I 105 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,311 COULD DRESS LIKE JOKER. CLINT, I TOLD YOU MULTIPLE TIMES. 106 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:04,050 YEAH, BUT I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO DRESS LIKE JOKER. BUT I TOLD YOU NOT TO. 107 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:08,888 BUT I SAID I WAS GOING TO DRESS LIKE JOKER. BUT I SAID NOT TO DO THAT. 108 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:13,259 BUT I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO DRESS LIKE JOKER. YOU RUINED MY WEDDING, CLINT. 109 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:16,229 YOU RUINED MY WEDDING, CLINT. BECAUSE I DRESSED LIKE JOKER? YES. 110 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:22,569 WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL DREAMING ABOUT MY WEDDING, MY HUSBAND'S BEST MAN WASN'T 111 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,972 DRESSED LIKE JOKER. I DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR WEDDING. 112 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:33,780 IF CLINT GOES TO TAKE OFF THE JOKER RIGHT NOW, CAN WE STILL PLEASE BE BRIDE AND GROOM. 113 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:38,218 YES. THANK YOU, BABY. CLINT, GO TO THE BATHROOM. 114 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:42,088 CHANGE OUT OF JOKER RIGHT NOW. I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE OUT OF JOKER. 115 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:45,592 COME ON, CLINT! YOU MY BEST FRIEND. YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO 116 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,561 MARRY DOONEY EVER SINCE I SAW HER. AND YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN 117 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:53,967 WANTING TO DRESS LIKE JOKER EVER SINCE LAST HALLOWEEN! I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE JOKER 118 00:13:53,967 --> 00:14:00,807 NO MORE, CLINT. BUT I DO WANT TO BE JOKER, DOONEY, AND I THINK EVERYBODY IN 119 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:07,080 HERE SHOULD GET TO VOTE ON IT. FINE! WE'LL ALL VOTE ON IT. 120 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:12,619 NO, PAT. BUT HE'S RIGHT. IF EVERYBODY WANTS HIM TO STILL 121 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:18,692 BE JOKER, HE SHOULD GET TO. WELL, THEN I GUESS YOU DON'T WANT TO BE BRIDE AND GROOM NO 122 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:23,163 MORE. I DO WANT TO BE BRIDE AND GROOM WITH YOU MORE THAN 123 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:28,501 ANYTHING ON THIS EARTH, BUT WE GETTING MARRIED ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT, WE GOT TO RESPECT THAT 124 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:36,309 SOME PEOPLE GOING TO SHOW UP LIKE JOKER. THIS PLACE COULD HAVE BEEN 125 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:44,451 CRAWLING WITH JOKERS, DOONEY. BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME BY THE STATE OF KENTUCKY, WE WILL 126 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:53,326 NOW VOTE ON JOKER. COUSIN BECCA, DO YOU THINK CLINT SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT STILL 127 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:57,997 GET TO BE JOKER? CLINT, ON THE ONE HAND, I UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S HALLOWEEN 128 00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:05,205 NIGHT, AND ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT, YOU SHOULD GETS TO BE JOKER, BUT DOONEY DON'T WANT YOU TO BE 129 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:18,818 JOKER NO MORE, THEN MY VOTE IS YOU SHOULD NOT BE JOKER. THANK YOU, COUSIN BECCA. 130 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:26,693 UNCLE TED, ARE YOU PROJOKER OR PROJOKER? DOONEY, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE 131 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:30,296 NIECE. HOWEVER, GIVEN THAT IT IS HALLOWEEN NIGHT, THE ONE NIGHT A 132 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:40,073 YEAR IN WHICH EVERYONE IS ALLOWED TO BE JOKER, I VOTE THAT CLINT SHOULD CONTINUE TO BE 133 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:55,855 JOKER. ALL RIGHT. GAMMA JUDY, IT'S DOWN TO YOU. 134 00:15:55,855 --> 00:16:00,794 SHOULD CLINT OR SHOULD NOT CLINT CONTINUE TO BE JOKER AT OUR WEDDING? 135 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:08,535 DOONEY, YOU MAKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRIDE I HAVE EVER SEEN. 136 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:16,343 AWW, THANK YOU GRANDMA JUDY. THAT'S SO SWEET. AND CLINT, YOU KNOW I NEVER 137 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:22,315 LIKED YOU. YOU'RE A SKUNK AND AN ALCOHOLIC. BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF YOU DON'T 138 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:30,623 LOOK EXACTLY LIKE JOKER! THANK YOU, GRANDMA JUDY. I WILL CHERISH THAT. 139 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:37,063 HAVE YOU MADE YOUR DECISION? I HAVE. OKAY. 140 00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:52,145 THEN SURVIVOR'S JEFF PROBST, PLEASE SHARE THE RESULTS. [ APPLAUSE ] 141 00:16:52,145 --> 00:17:07,127 DOONEY, THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN. CLINT GETS TO BE JOKER. NO! 142 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:19,773 YEAH! PLEASE BRING ME YOUR TORCH. CONGRATULATIONS, CLINT, YOU GET 143 00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:26,212 TO BE JOKER. WHOO! I GET TO BE JOKER! 144 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:40,627 HERE AT SKETCHERS, WE PRIDE OURSELVES ON TWO THINGS, MAKING STYLISH COMFORTABLE SHOES AT AN 145 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:46,566 AFFORDABLE PRICE. THAT'S WHY EARLIER THIS WEEK, WHEN KANYE WEST SHOWED UP AT OUR 146 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:50,370 CORPORATE OFFICE ASKING TO WORK WITH US, WE SAID NO. NO WAY. 147 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,306 NO THANK YOU. AND WE IMMEDIATELY ESCORTED HIM OUT OF THE BUILDING. 148 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:59,879 LIKE THE REST OF THE COUNTRY, WE WERE APPALLED BY KANYE'S HORRIFIC COMMENTS, AND WE VOWED 149 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:04,551 TO NEVER WORK WITH HIM IN ANY CAPACITY. BUT CAN WE ALSO POINT OUT THAT 150 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:14,361 OF ALL THE COMPANIES HE COULD HAVE APPROACHED AND BEEN REJECTED BY, HE CLOSE SKECHERS. 151 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:17,864 WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A HIP COMPANY. OF COURSE HE CAME TO US 152 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:24,771 FIRST. KANYE CAME TO SKECHERS, AND WE SAID NO. 153 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:29,609 DO YOU REALIZE HOW INSANELY SATISFYING THAT IS? I GUESS YOU COULD SAY 154 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:39,319 SKECHERS EMPLOYEES ARE HEROES. COULD YOU HAVE IMAGINED THAT LINE TWO YEARS AGO, SKECHERS TOO 155 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:45,692 GOOD FOR KANYE? CORPORATE WAS LIKE, WE CAN'T WORK WITH KANYE WEST, HE'S CRAZY 156 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:52,198 NOW. I WAS LIKE, NOW? IT TOOK ADIDAS SOME DAYS TO 157 00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:57,437 DECIDE NOT TO WORK WITH HIM. HE WALKED IN AND WE WERE LIKE, BYE, BYE BYE, DOOR. 158 00:18:57,437 --> 00:19:04,377 AND OF COURSE, HE WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT PARTNERSHIP. WE INVENTED SHOES YOU CAN 159 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:09,382 WASH IN A WASHING MACHINE. BUT, AGAIN, WE WOULD NEVER PARTNER WITH HIM. 160 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:12,018 NEVER. ABSOLUTELY NOT. BESIDES, WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN 161 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:19,426 CALL A KANYE SKECHERS SHOE ANY WAY? THE SKEEZY? 162 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:22,195 THAT'S NOT BAD. BUT WE'RE NOT DOING IT. RIGHT. 163 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:28,234 BECAUSE OF THE ANTI-SEMITISM. I'M PROUD TO WORK FOR SKECHERS. 164 00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:33,673 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I SAID THAT? ALL WE WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW IS 165 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:39,779 WHERE WE STAND AND TO RECOGNIZE HOW COOL THIS MAKES US LOOK. IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S ALL ABOUT 166 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:44,184 US. BUT IT'S NOT LIKE ALL BIRDS IS FIGHTING THE FIGHT. 167 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:51,791 I'M SURPRISED WE HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING FROM CROCS. AND TO THINK, KANYE WEST 168 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:56,696 COULD HAVE BEEN MY BOSS. THAT IS -- TERRIFYING. SO THANKS BUT NO THANKS, 169 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,766 KANYE. WE DON'T NEED YOU. WE DON'T STAND WITH US. 170 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:06,439 WE MIGHT MESS UP IN THE FUTURE, BUT WE DIDN'T THIS TIME. AND BESIDES, I'M SURE KANYE 171 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:12,912 WILL FIND SOME MORALLY DUBIOUS COMPANY TO WORK WITH INSTEAD. HE SURE WILL. 172 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:22,322 IT'S ME, MIKE LINDELL, FOUNDER OF MY PILLOW, AND I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE WE ARE STARTING TIES 173 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:25,158 OF MY PILLOW, AND I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE WE ARE STARTING TIES WITH KANYE WEST EFFECTIVE 174 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:48,748 WELCOME, EVERYONE. I'M TEE I CAN'T LEFAYE. IT'S 2:00 A.M., AND THE STREETS 175 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:56,322 ARE ABSOLUTELY PACKED WITH ADULTS IN COSTUMES LEAVING BARS IN COSTUMES AND TRYING TO GET 176 00:20:56,322 --> 00:21:01,094 BACK TO WHERE THEY LIVE. THE STARS ARE OUT TONIGHT, AREN'T THEY, DEAN? 177 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:05,799 THEY ARE. LOOK WHO'S HERE. A DRUNK GUY IN AN INFLATABLE 178 00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:09,469 DINOSAUR COSTUME. AND I THINK HE'S GOING TO FALL AND GET HURT. 179 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:14,174 THERE IT IS. TINA. WELL, DEAN, I'M HERE WITH AN 180 00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:21,881 ABSOLUTE ICON OF THE POST HALLOWEEN SCENE, A WASTED WHITE GIRL WHO CAN'T FIND HER UBER. 181 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:26,086 I AM HERE. WHERE ARE YOU? NOW, MISS, I SEE YOU'RE 182 00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:29,155 HOLDING YOUR SHOES INSTEAD OF WEARING THEM. CAN I ASK WHY? 183 00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:34,394 BLISTERS. DUDE, OH, MY GOD. SPEAK ENGLISH! 184 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:39,766 UH-OH, THINGS ARE GETTING RACIST HERE, SO DEAN, BACK TO YOU. 185 00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:45,872 I'M HERE WITH ANOTHER LATE-NIGHT HALLOWEEN STAR, A GUY WHO IS UPSET PEOPLE DIDN'T 186 00:21:45,872 --> 00:21:49,342 APPRECIATE HIS COSTUME. LOOK, MAN, I'M SLAPPED CHRIS ROCK. 187 00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:54,881 IT'S FUNNY. THIS IS A GENIUS COSTUME. WHATEVER. 188 00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:58,118 PEOPLE ARE DUMB. OKAY. AMAZING. 189 00:21:58,118 --> 00:22:03,223 TINA. NOW I RARELY GET STAR STRUCK, BUT JUST BESIDE ME IS A STAPLE 190 00:22:03,223 --> 00:22:08,862 OF POST HALLOWEENS EVERYWHERE. IT'S A GUY THAT REALLY WANTS YOU TO ASK ABOUT HIS COSTUME. 191 00:22:08,862 --> 00:22:14,601 I SEE YOU CLAIM TO BE THE SCARIEST THING IN THE WORLD. AND WHAT IS THAT? 192 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:23,343 THE PATRIARCHY. AND I SEE IT'S SPELLED WRONG. YOU CLEARLY HOPED THIS COSTUME 193 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:26,379 WOULD GET YOU LAID. HAS IT WORKED? NO. 194 00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:29,082 BUT THE NIGHT IS YOUNG. HARD PASS. DEAN. 195 00:22:29,082 --> 00:22:33,887 DEAN. TINA, WE'RE HOPING HE WOULD SHOW UP TONIGHT, AND HE HAS. 196 00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:42,228 WHAT UP? WHAT UP? SIGMA. 197 00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:44,864 SIGMA. SIGMA. HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT? 198 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:50,136 I'M CHILLING, BRO. SIGMA! ALL RIGHT. 199 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:54,274 SIGMA. NOW I HAVE TO ASK, HOW HAS THE COSTUME GONE OVER? 200 00:22:54,274 --> 00:23:01,147 I MEAN, THE VIBE I'M GETTING IS PEOPLE WERE CHILL, LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF. 201 00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:06,386 WOMEN WHO ARE SMART ARE LIKE DISGUSTED BY ME. AND WHAT'S NEXT FOR YOU 202 00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:11,825 TONIGHT? I'LL PROBABLY GET IN SOME LEGAL TROUBLE OR SOMETHING, BUT 203 00:23:11,825 --> 00:23:16,196 MY DAD WILL HANDLE THAT FOR ME. YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN SCORE SOME COKE? 204 00:23:16,196 --> 00:23:21,067 SORRY, I DON'T. NOT THE LAST TIME WE'LL BE ASKED IF WE KNOW WHERE TO GET 205 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:26,673 COKE TONIGHT. I'M HERE WITH A REAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE POST HALLOWEEN SCENE, A 206 00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:32,212 GUY WHO WAS IN A GROUP COSTUME BUT LOST HIS FRIENDS. MY FRIENDS AND I WENT AS THE 207 00:23:32,212 --> 00:23:37,350 VILLAGE PEOPLE, AND NOW I CAN'T FIND THEM. NOW EVERYBODY THINKS I'M A REAL 208 00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:41,788 COP, AND I'M NOT. THIS IS A SQUIRT GUN. IT'S FILLED WITH TEQUILA. 209 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:44,557 I NEED MY FRIENDS! YIKES. DEAN. 210 00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:51,364 WELL, WE HEARD A RUMOR SHE WOULD BE MAKING AN APPEARANCE. IT'S AN IMPOSSIBLY DRUNK DORA 211 00:23:51,364 --> 00:23:55,101 THE EXPLORER. THIS IS FUN. SHE'S -- WHOA! 212 00:23:55,101 --> 00:24:01,107 SHE'S SO FADED, SHE'S ONLY SAYING ONE THING, AND IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH 213 00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:06,046 HER COSTUME. TOM BRADY. ONE MORE TIME. 214 00:24:06,046 --> 00:24:10,517 TOM BRADY. ALL RIGHT. AND WHY ARE YOU SAYING TOM 215 00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:12,619 BRADY. TOM BRADY. OKAY. 216 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:18,358 WELL, BEST OF LUCK TONIGHT, AND I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR PANTS. TINA. 217 00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:22,162 OKAY. WELL, I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO STOP, BUT BEHIND ME, YOU CAN 218 00:24:22,162 --> 00:24:29,936 SEE THE SOBER MIDDLE-AGED MAN WHO IS TRYING TO WALK HIS DOG. EXCUSE ME. 219 00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:32,772 PEOPLE LIVE HERE. THANK YOU! DEAN. 220 00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:40,180 WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T NORMALLY SEE AT 3:00 A.M., IT'S A DAD WHO CLEARLY FORGOT TO 221 00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:45,952 TAKE HIS KID TRICK OR TREATING EARLIER. GO ASK HIM FOR SOME CANDY. 222 00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:49,622 I DON'T HAVE ANY. I'M SORRY. CAN I ASK WHY YOU HAVE A CHILD 223 00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:53,126 OUT AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING? YEAH. YOU CAN ASK SHEILA. 224 00:24:53,126 --> 00:25:00,300 SHE TEXTED ME AT 8:00 P.M. SAYING I'M DROPPING HIM OFF, AND I SAID, NOT MY WEEKEND, SHEILA. 225 00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:06,906 I'M GETTING MY DRINK ON, SHEILA. AND SHE SAID, IT IS YOUR WEEKEND, WHICH IT TURNED OUT IT 226 00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:11,678 WAS. WE OUT HERE, SO IT'S FINE. WHAT'S YOUR CHILD DRESSED AS? 227 00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:20,453 OH, HE A CHIPOTLE BAG. OH, THAT'S SO COOL, BUDDY! YEAH. 228 00:25:20,453 --> 00:25:21,788 WOW. TINA. WOW INDEED. 229 00:25:21,788 --> 00:25:28,094 WELL, WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK, BUT WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE AHEAD, INCLUDING TRYING TO FIGURE OUT 230 00:25:28,094 --> 00:25:34,801 IF THE GUY BEHIND ME IS DRESSED AS DAHMER OR IS AN ACTUAL PERVERT. 231 00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:42,475 I VOTE FOR PERVERT. PLUS MORE WITH OUR BAD DAD. HEY, MAN. 232 00:25:42,475 --> 00:25:45,311 I'M A GOOD DAD. YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME COKE? 233 00:25:45,311 --> 00:25:48,114 COKE? I DO NOT. KEEP IT RIGHT HERE. 234 00:25:56,690 --> 00:26:01,494 THE MIRROR AND I DIDN'T SEE MYSELF ANYMORE. I SAW A GUY WHO STEALS FROM HIS 235 00:26:01,494 --> 00:26:07,600 OWN MOTHER FOR ANOTHER BOTTLE OF BOOZE. BUT I'M GRATEFUL FOR 90 DAYS 236 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:12,605 WITH NO DRINK. THANK YOU SO MUCH, SPENCER. WHO ELSE WOULD LIKE TO SHARE. 237 00:26:12,605 --> 00:26:17,610 HOW ABOUT YOU, JESSE? YOU HAVE BEEN COMING FOR A WHILE, AND YOU'VE NEVER SHARED 238 00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:21,047 WITH THE GROUP. WELL, THERE IS SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A 239 00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:23,383 WHILE. PLEASE. YOU CAN TELL THIS GROUP 240 00:26:23,383 --> 00:26:27,420 ANYTHING. OKAY. HERE IT GOES. 241 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:33,626 I HAVE THE PERFECT IDEA FOR A PIXAR MOVIE. WHAT'S THAT? 242 00:26:33,626 --> 00:26:40,700 A CONCEPT FOR A TOUCHING COMPUTER ANIMATED FILM THAT'S ABOUT LOST LUGGAGE TRYING TO 243 00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:44,704 FIND ITS WAY HOME. ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST STAY ON THE TOPIC OF 244 00:26:44,704 --> 00:26:48,241 RECOVERY. DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO SHARE? JACKIE? 245 00:26:48,241 --> 00:26:53,546 JACKIE, ALCOHOLIC. HI, JACKIE. ON TUESDAY, I DROVE TO A 246 00:26:53,546 --> 00:27:00,720 LIQUOR STORE, AND I -- I'M SORRY. SO THE SUITCASES ALL HAVE 247 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,391 PERSONALITIES? YEAH. AND THE ZIPPERS ARE THEIR 248 00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:07,027 MOUTHS. I ACTUALLY MARKED UP SOME ARTWORK. 249 00:27:07,027 --> 00:27:11,031 SO THIS GUY IS THE MAIN CHARACTER. HE'S LIKE A REGULAR EVERYDAY 250 00:27:11,031 --> 00:27:16,670 SUITCASE, AND THEN YOU GOT THE BRIEFCASE GUY. HE'S A LITTLE UPTIGHT, BUT HE'S 251 00:27:16,670 --> 00:27:22,242 FUNNY. THAT'S JASON BATEMAN. I RITTERLY WROTE THAT. 252 00:27:22,242 --> 00:27:26,946 AND THERE'S A GYM BAG. DON'T TELL ME. HIS NAME IS JIM. 253 00:27:26,946 --> 00:27:31,918 IT IS. AND MAYBE THERE CAN BE A LADY SUITCASE WHO'S GOT, I DON'T 254 00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:35,355 KNOW, BOOBS. WHAT WOULD THAT EVEN LOOK LIKE? 255 00:27:35,355 --> 00:27:40,794 WELL, I DID MARK UP SOME ARTWORK JUST NOW. OH, AND MAYBE THERE'S A 256 00:27:40,794 --> 00:27:46,232 MINION TYPE CHARACTER LIKE A NECK PILLOW THAT GOES LIKE BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP. 257 00:27:46,232 --> 00:27:50,637 YOU'RE IN THE MOVIE. WHOA. CAN I BE IN THE MOVIE? 258 00:27:50,637 --> 00:27:58,778 NO. BUT GET THIS. THERE'S THIS OTHER BAG, RIGHT? 259 00:27:58,778 --> 00:28:02,816 PIERRE. HE ACTS ALL CULTURED LIKE HE'S BETTER THAN THEM. 260 00:28:02,816 --> 00:28:05,785 I HATE THAT BAG. RIGHT. BUT LISTEN. 261 00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:13,026 HALFWAY THROUGH, THIS BAG GIVES AN EMOTIONAL SPEECH WHERE HE OPENS UP, KIND OF LIKE US RIGHT 262 00:28:13,026 --> 00:28:18,031 NOW. I DRANK RECENTLY BY THE WAY. WHAT? 263 00:28:18,031 --> 00:28:28,041 ANYWAY, ANYWAY, THE BAG GOES, SURE, I HAVE BEEN TO PARIS, MILAN, TOKYO, BUT I'VE ONLY BEEN 264 00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:34,314 TO THE AIRPORTS AND HOTELS. I'VE NEVER SEEN THESE PLACES. BUT THEN, AS THE CREDITS ROLL, 265 00:28:34,314 --> 00:28:41,421 WE SEE PICTURES FROM ALL THESE FAMOUS LANDMARKS. THE BAGS TOOK PIERRE TO FINALLY 266 00:28:41,421 --> 00:28:46,626 SEE THE WORLD. I LOVE THAT BAG NOW. WHAT ABOUT THE SONG? 267 00:28:46,626 --> 00:28:50,163 WHAT? WHAT? ALL THESE MOVIES HAVE SOME 268 00:28:50,163 --> 00:28:57,604 KIND OF BIG SONG, SOMETHING THEY CAN SING AT THE OSCARS. SHE'S RIGHT. 269 00:28:57,604 --> 00:29:03,243 WHAT WOULD IT SOUND LIKE? I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE -- 270 00:29:03,243 --> 00:29:11,918 * WHEN YOU LOST YOUR WAY, AND YOU'RE FAR FROM HOME * * TAKE FAITH IN NEW FRIENDS 271 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:22,862 BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALONE * * AND PACK YOURSELF WITH LOVE * * EVERYBODY'S GOT TO -- PACK 272 00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:31,871 YOURSELF WITH LOVE * * A SUITCASE WITH BOOBS * * YOU MAY BE LOST BUT YOU CAN'T 273 00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:36,109 GIVE UP HOPE * * YOU GOT TO PACK YOURSELF WITH LOVE * 274 00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:40,113 I GUESS THE LAST QUESTION IS WHO'S GOING TO PLAY THE MAIN SUITCASE? 275 00:29:40,113 --> 00:30:04,771 OUR EVERY MAN, OUR WOODY? IS THIS AA? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 276 00:30:04,771 --> 00:30:12,545 I'M TOM H. I'M HERE TO RESEARCH A ROLE AND ALSO I MAY BE AN ALCOHOLIC. 277 00:30:12,545 --> 00:30:18,885 YO, TOM. IF YOU WERE A SUITCASE, WHAT WOULD YOUR CATCH PHRASE BE? 278 00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:22,555 HUH. ASUITCASE. WELL, I GUESS IT WOULD BE 279 00:30:22,555 --> 00:30:29,162 SOMETHING LIKE, THAT REALLY SNAGS MY ZIPPER! YOU GOT THE PART! 280 00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:39,372 * PACK YOURSELF WITH LOVE, EVERYBODY * * PACK YOURSELF WITH LOVE * 281 00:30:44,611 --> 00:30:47,480 I'M GOING TO GET SOME MORE POPCORN. YOU WANT SOME? 282 00:30:47,480 --> 00:31:00,293 SURE. SOMETIMES, A FAMILIAR FACE CAN BE THE MOST TERRIFYING. 283 00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:06,099 IN POLITICAL NEWS, PRESIDENT BIDEN HAS SAID HE INTENDS TO RUN FOR RE-ELECTION IN 2024. 284 00:31:06,099 --> 00:31:14,107 NO. YOU TRUSTED HIM ONCE. I KNOW HE'S A LITTLE OLD, BUT 285 00:31:14,107 --> 00:31:20,980 HE CAN STILL WIN, RIGHT? HE BEAT TRUMP. BUT CAN HE BEAT DeSANTIS. 286 00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:26,186 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW! CAN WE TRUST HIM AGAIN? 287 00:31:26,186 --> 00:31:36,830 HE'S 79 NOW. ELECTION IS TWO YEARS. SO THAT MEANS -- AHH! 288 00:31:36,830 --> 00:31:47,807 WHEN IT FEELS LIKE NOTHING'S GOING RIGHT -- GAS PRICES ARE STILL KIND OF 289 00:31:47,807 --> 00:31:52,912 HIGH. IT KIND OF IS. WHY ARE WE SO WORRIED? 290 00:31:52,912 --> 00:32:00,086 HE'S DONE SO MUCH! BUT HE FELL OFF HIS BIKE ONCE! 291 00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:06,059 AHH! ACCORDING TO THIS ARTICLE, HE'S NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO RUN 292 00:32:06,059 --> 00:32:10,563 IN 2024, HE'S JUST SAYING HE IS TO PRESENT A UNITED FRONT BEFORE THE MIDTERMS. 293 00:32:10,563 --> 00:32:15,568 WHAT A RELIEF. I MEAN, I LOVE THE GUY, BUT HE DID HIS PART. 294 00:32:15,568 --> 00:32:21,307 BUT IF BIDEN'S NOT GOING TO RUN, WHO WILL. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE 295 00:32:21,307 --> 00:32:25,845 TERROR WAS OVER -- I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, KAMALA. 296 00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:28,915 WAKE UP! YOU REALIZE IT'S JUST BEGINNING. 297 00:32:28,915 --> 00:32:35,188 THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE. CORY BOOKER! HE'S CORY! 298 00:32:35,188 --> 00:32:39,826 LISTEN TO YOURSELF! FROM THE CREATORS OF SMILE AND THE TWISTED MINDS OF MORNING 299 00:32:39,826 --> 00:32:54,574 JOE. AHH! GUYS. 300 00:32:54,574 --> 00:33:01,281 NOT AGAIN. I HAVE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE. BABE? 301 00:33:01,281 --> 00:33:09,689 A SUPERSTAR WHO CAN GO ALL THE WAY. HILLARY. 302 00:33:09,689 --> 00:33:17,297 AHH! I'M WITH HER. I'M WITH HER. 303 00:33:17,297 --> 00:33:23,370 I'M WITH HER. IT'S THE ONE YOU FEAR THE MOST. 304 00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:27,841 THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE. BIDEN, MAYBE? ARE WE BACK TO BIDEN. 305 00:33:27,841 --> 00:33:32,579 I LIKE BIDEN. SO BIDEN? BIDEN'S GREAT, RIGHT? 306 00:33:32,579 --> 00:33:34,381 BIDEN'S GREAT, RIGHT? HE'S BIDEN. 2020 PART 307 00:33:43,690 --> 00:33:47,427 PLACE. IT'S GOT A GREAT REVIEW IN SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE. 308 00:33:47,427 --> 00:33:53,333 WELL, I AM STARVING. ALL I NEED IS THE WAITER SO I CAN GET MY GUAC ON. 309 00:33:53,333 --> 00:33:59,139 HELLO. WELCOME TO CASITA. MY NAME IS DUKE SAINT SHOOT. 310 00:33:59,139 --> 00:34:04,044 AND I AM EARL IS TWIRL JAZZ. NICE. WELL, WE WOULD LOVE TO START 311 00:34:04,044 --> 00:34:12,819 WITH SOME TABLE SIDE GUAC. WE'RE OUT OF AVOCADO, CILANTRO, AND RED ONION 312 00:34:12,819 --> 00:34:17,323 UNFORTUNATELY. HOWEVER, HER HORNED UP TO PREPARE YOU A FLIGHT OF TABLE 313 00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:22,662 SIDE COCKTAILS THIS EVENING. MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS. THEY MAKE DRINKS RIGHT AT YOUR 314 00:34:22,662 --> 00:34:26,766 TABLE. I THINK WE JUST WANT FOOD. SOLIDS CAN WAIT. 315 00:34:26,766 --> 00:34:55,662 OUR FIRST COCKED CLASSIC SCREWDRIVER WITH FLAIR -- HEY! ** 316 00:34:55,662 --> 00:35:00,166 WELL, THAT WAS FUN. YEAH. AND YOU MISSED THE GLASSES A 317 00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:04,537 LOT. NEXT, WE WILL MAKE YOU A CUSTOM BEVERAGE. 318 00:35:04,537 --> 00:35:12,045 OH, I DON'T DRINK. WELL, THEN WE CAN MAKE YOU A VAGIDO. 319 00:35:12,045 --> 00:35:21,855 WHAT IS A VAGIDO? DID THEY MEAN MOHITO? CONCOCTION NUMBER TWO, HIT 320 00:35:21,855 --> 00:35:29,062 IT! ** ALL RIGHT. 321 00:35:29,062 --> 00:35:37,937 REALLY WORKING THOSE NAPKINS, HUH? HERE WE GO. 322 00:35:37,937 --> 00:35:48,181 BIG FINISH. BIG FINISH. DOESN'T MATTER. 323 00:35:48,181 --> 00:35:51,117 WERE WE SUPPOSED TO CATCH THOSE? YEAH. 324 00:35:51,117 --> 00:35:56,222 THAT WASN'T EVEN VIRGIN. I SAW YOU PUT RUM IN IT. AT LEAST WE GOT TO HEAR THAT 325 00:35:56,222 --> 00:36:01,728 SONG AGAIN. SHOUTOUT TO OUR DJ. HE'S A BUSBOY. 326 00:36:01,728 --> 00:36:06,499 EVERYONE IN HERE IS LUCKY AS HELL. YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL HAVE? 327 00:36:06,499 --> 00:36:16,309 A NEGROII WITH PERSECO IN THEM. WE DON'T MAKE THOSE. YEAH, WE DON'T BEND TO 328 00:36:16,309 --> 00:36:20,480 LESBIAN TIKTOK. YO, DUKE, EARL, MAKE THEM A LONG BROWN. 329 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:29,422 WHAT ON EARTH IS A LONG WRONG. GIN AND NESQUICK. 330 00:36:29,422 --> 00:36:34,060 CONCOCTION NUMBER THREE, HERE WE GO! DOESN'T MATTER. 331 00:36:34,060 --> 00:36:38,064 WE GOT THE TABLE. DOESN'T MATTER. IT ACTUALLY DOES MATTER. 332 00:36:38,064 --> 00:36:43,737 THERE'S GLASS EVERYWHERE. OKAY. WOW. 333 00:36:43,737 --> 00:36:51,644 Y'ALL HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT. EXCUSE ME? MAYBE YOU'LL REMEMBER US NOW. 334 00:36:51,644 --> 00:36:56,750 YOU WEREN'T WEARING MUSTACHES. WE FORGOT TO PUT THEM ON. 335 00:36:56,750 --> 00:37:03,089 BUT WE SERVED YOU IN 2017. WE MADE YOU ALL DELICIOUS MARGARITAS. 336 00:37:03,089 --> 00:37:10,030 AND YOU SAID -- THIS ISN'T A MARGARITA. IT'S A MOUNTAIN DEW. 337 00:37:10,030 --> 00:37:11,765 RIGHT. YOU GUYS IMMEDIATELY STARTED CRYING. 338 00:37:11,765 --> 00:37:18,271 THE POINT IS YOU LIT A FIRE UNDER OUR ASSES. AND WE TRAINED FOR FIVE YEARS 339 00:37:18,271 --> 00:37:23,476 TO COME BACK HERE AND PROVE TO YOU THAT WE ARE THE BEST BARTENDERS IN THE WORLD. 340 00:37:23,476 --> 00:37:36,222 MASHED AVOCADO WITH CILANTRO AND RED ONIONS. SO YOU DO HAVE GUAC. 341 00:37:36,222 --> 00:37:43,763 SO YOU DO HAVE GUAC. MORE VAGIDOS. ** 342 00:37:54,374 --> 00:38:00,146 HARLOW. [ APPLAUSE ] ** 343 00:38:00,146 --> 00:38:04,484 * I KNOW OF THAT YOU SICK OF BEING MY LITTLE SECRET * * I KNOW THAT YOU SICK 344 00:38:04,484 --> 00:38:08,188 OF BEING MY FAVORITE * * I KNOW THAT YOU HATE THE FACT THAT I'M FAMOUS * 345 00:38:08,188 --> 00:38:10,890 * HATE THE FACT THAT YOU GOTTA WAIT * * BUT YOU GONNA WAIT 346 00:38:10,890 --> 00:38:15,161 WHY * * 'CAUSE YOU CONFIDENT THAT WE SOUL MATES * 347 00:38:15,161 --> 00:38:18,398 * I TOLD MY THERAPIST ABOUT YOU * * SHE ALWAYS TAKES 348 00:38:18,398 --> 00:38:23,203 YOUR SIDE * * AIN'T NOBODY I LOVE MORE I JUST NEED MORE TIME * 349 00:38:23,203 --> 00:38:25,839 * SPENDING TIME WITH SOMEBODY ELSE * * AND I GET TO WISHIN' 350 00:38:25,839 --> 00:38:29,042 THAT SHE WAS YOU * * ANY GIRL CAN BE BEAUTIFUL BUT NOT ANY GIRL CAN 351 00:38:29,042 --> 00:38:33,346 JUST BE IN TUNE * * AND YOU SO IN TUNE YOU UNDERSTAND ME * 352 00:38:33,346 --> 00:38:36,116 * I MAKE YOU LAUGH AND YOU SAY TO ME THAT YOU CAN'T STAND ME * 353 00:38:36,116 --> 00:38:38,785 * YOU SOUL FOOD AND YOU EYE CANDY * * I WANT TO MEET 354 00:38:38,785 --> 00:38:41,454 YOU IN MIAMI * * I WANT YOU TO MEET MY FAMILY * 355 00:38:41,454 --> 00:38:46,259 * AND I KNOW THAT YOU SICK OF BEIN' MY LITTLE SECRET * * I KNOW THAT YOU SICK 356 00:38:46,259 --> 00:38:50,063 OF BEIN' MY FAVORITE * * I KNOW THAT YOU HATE THE FACT THAT I'M FAMOUS * 357 00:38:50,063 --> 00:38:54,267 * HATE THE FACT THAT YOU GOTTA WAIT BUT YOU GONNA WAIT * 358 00:38:54,267 --> 00:38:59,172 * CAUSE YOU CONFIDENT WE SOUL MATES * * I TOLD MY THERAPAIST 359 00:38:59,172 --> 00:39:01,741 ABOUT YOU * * SHE ALWAYS TAKES YOUR SIDE * 360 00:39:01,741 --> 00:39:17,791 * AIN'T NOBODY I LOVE MORE I JUST NEED MORE TIME * ** 361 00:39:17,791 --> 00:39:19,926 * I BEEN A G * * THROW UP THE 362 00:39:19,926 --> 00:39:21,494 L * * SEX IN THE A.M. 363 00:39:21,494 --> 00:39:24,130 UH-HUH * * O-R-O-U-S YEAH * 364 00:39:24,130 --> 00:39:26,833 * AND I CAN PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS * * WHERE 365 00:39:26,833 --> 00:39:31,638 UP IN THE SKY * * I CAN PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS, * 366 00:39:31,638 --> 00:39:38,044 UP IN THE, UP-UP IN THE * * I CAN SEE THE WHOLE CITY FROM THIS BALCONY * 367 00:39:38,044 --> 00:39:41,314 * BACK IN 2019, I WAS OUTSIDE FREELY * * BUT NOW THEY GOT IT 368 00:39:41,314 --> 00:39:44,451 OUT FOR ME * * I DON'T CARE WHAT FRAT THEY WAS IN * 369 00:39:44,451 --> 00:39:46,619 * YOU CAN'T ALPHA ME KEEP DREAMIN' * * PINEAPPLE JUICE 370 00:39:46,619 --> 00:39:50,323 I GIVE HER SWEET SWEET, SWEET * * I KNOW WHAT THEY LIKE 371 00:39:50,323 --> 00:39:53,593 SO I JUST KEEP CHEESIN' * * HARD DRIVE FULL OF HEAT SEEKIN' * 372 00:39:53,593 --> 00:39:56,262 * TRYNA COME THE SAME DAY AS JACK RETHINK IT * 373 00:39:56,262 --> 00:39:59,499 * YOU DON'T NEED GIVENCHY YOU NEED JESUS * * WHY DO Y'ALL SLEEP ON ME 374 00:39:59,499 --> 00:40:04,304 I NEED REASONS * * I GOT PLAQUES IN THE MAIL PEAK SEASON * 375 00:40:04,304 --> 00:40:07,540 * SHOUT OUT TO MY UPS WORKERS MAKIN' SURE I RECEIVE 'EM * 376 00:40:07,540 --> 00:40:09,676 * YOU CAN DO IT TOO BELIEVE IT * * 'CAUSE I BEEN A 377 00:40:09,676 --> 00:40:11,244 G * * THROW UP THE (L * 378 00:40:11,244 --> 00:40:16,082 * SEX IN THE A.M. UH-HUH * 379 00:40:16,082 --> 00:40:18,318 * O-R-O-U-S YEAH * * AND I CAN PUT YOU IN 380 00:40:18,318 --> 00:40:21,955 FIRST CLASS * * WHERE UP IN THE SKY * 381 00:40:21,955 --> 00:40:25,692 * I CAN PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS * * UP IN THE 382 00:40:25,692 --> 00:40:33,833 UP-UP IN THE * ARE YOU READY? YES, I AM * THEY SAY 383 00:40:33,833 --> 00:40:35,301 YOU A SUPERSTAR NOW * * DAMN I GUESS I AM * 384 00:40:35,301 --> 00:40:38,471 * YOU MIGHT BE THE MAN WELL, THAT'S UNLESS I AM OKAY, I'LL CONFESS I AM * 385 00:40:38,471 --> 00:40:40,607 * GO AHEAD AND GET UNDRESSED I AM * 386 00:40:40,607 --> 00:40:43,243 * OKAY COOL YOU ON SUNSET I AM * 387 00:40:43,243 --> 00:40:45,912 * I'M 'BOUT TO SLIDE OKAY, I'M OUTSIDE, OKAY * * THIS LIFESTYLE DON'T 388 00:40:45,912 --> 00:40:50,116 GOT MANY DOWNSIDES * * 'CEPT FOR THE LACK OF TIME I GET 'ROUND MY * 389 00:40:50,116 --> 00:40:52,952 * FAMILY, MAKIN' SURE THEY NEVER DOWNSIZE * * I GOT VISIONS OF MY MOM 390 00:40:52,952 --> 00:40:55,488 SAYIN', WAIT THIS HOUSE MINE * * CAN'T LIE 391 00:40:55,488 --> 00:40:57,590 I'M ON ANGUS CLOUD NINE * * I GOT 'EM ON THE BANDWAGON NOW 392 00:40:57,590 --> 00:41:00,794 'BOUT TIME * * I AIN'T EVEN GOT NO DOWNTIME M 393 00:41:00,794 --> 00:41:02,495 * EVERY TIME I SPEAK SHE SAY YEAH, THAT SOUNDS FINE * 394 00:41:02,495 --> 00:41:04,497 * BECAUSE I BEEN A G * * THROW UP THE 395 00:41:04,497 --> 00:41:07,167 L * * SEX IN THE A.M. 396 00:41:07,167 --> 00:41:11,971 THAT'S RIGHT, LIKE * * O-R-O-U-S YEAH * 397 00:41:11,971 --> 00:41:16,242 * AND I CAN PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS * * WHERE 398 00:41:16,242 --> 00:41:17,811 UP IN THE SKY * * I CAN PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS * 399 00:41:17,811 --> 00:41:24,784 * UP IN THE UP-UP IN THE * * G-L 400 00:41:24,784 --> 00:41:26,886 A-M * * O-R-O-U-S YEAH * 401 00:41:26,886 --> 00:41:33,793 * AND I CAN PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS * * UP IN THE SKY 402 00:41:33,793 --> 00:41:45,338 I CAN PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS * ** 403 00:41:45,338 --> 00:41:49,442 FIRST CLASS * ** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 404 00:42:04,224 --> 00:42:10,096 THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. I'M MY WHICH HE WILL CHE. 405 00:42:10,096 --> 00:42:15,635 I'M COLIN JOST. EXCUSE ME. ELON MUSK OFFICIALLY BOUGHT 406 00:42:15,635 --> 00:42:21,675 TWITTER FOR $44 BILLION BEATING OUT THE NEXT HIGHEST OFFER OF $0. 407 00:42:21,675 --> 00:42:27,580 MUSK SENT AN OPEN LETTER TO ADVERTISERS SAYING HE DOESN'T WANT TWITTER TO BECOME A FREE 408 00:42:27,580 --> 00:42:33,553 FOR ALL HELL SKYPE BECAUSE THAT'S HIS PLAN FOR MARS. I HONESTLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY 409 00:42:33,553 --> 00:42:39,592 PEOPLE ARE SO WORRIED ELON IS GOING TO RUIN TWITTER AS IF IT'S THIS BELOVED AMERICAN 410 00:42:39,592 --> 00:42:42,529 INSTITUTION. IT'S NOT LIKE HE BOUGHT DISNEY WORLD. 411 00:42:42,529 --> 00:42:48,134 IT'S LIKE HE BOUGHT THE REST OF ORLANDO. HER VERY WELL WAUNGER DENIED 412 00:42:48,134 --> 00:42:53,640 ALLEGATIONS FROM A SECOND WOMAN THAT HE PUSHED HER TO HAVE AN ABORTION SAYING, I'M DONE WITH 413 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:58,945 THIS FOOLISHNESS, WHICH IS ALSO WHAT WALKER SAYS WHEN HE TAKES OFF THE CONDEMN. 414 00:42:58,945 --> 00:43:11,624 THE WOMAN CLAIMS THAT WALKER DROVE HER TO AN ABORTION CLINIC, AND WHILE HE WAS IN THE PARKING 415 00:43:11,624 --> 00:43:17,897 LOT, HE GOT TWO MORE WOMEN PREGNANT. JOHN FATTERMAN WHO'S STILL 416 00:43:17,897 --> 00:43:24,270 RECOVERING FROM A STROKE AND DR. OZ MET FOR THEIR ONLY DEBATE BEFORE THE MIDTERMS, AND JUST 417 00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:30,944 LIKE IN HIS PUPPY EXPERIMENTS, DR. OZ SHOWED NO MERCY. PET FETTERMAN BEGAN HIS OPENING 418 00:43:30,944 --> 00:43:35,248 STATEMENT BY SAYING, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. IT'S A BIZARRE MOMENT THAT 419 00:43:35,248 --> 00:43:40,353 DEBATE WATCHERS CALLED HIS HIGH POINT. I HONESTLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY 420 00:43:40,353 --> 00:43:46,960 FETTERMAN WAS ALLOWED TO DO THIS DEBATE. WHO'S HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER? 421 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:53,099 THE MIAMI DOLPHINS CONCUSSION MANAGER? IT'S NOT LIKE DR. OZ DID GREAT. 422 00:43:53,099 --> 00:43:58,838 HE JUST DID SLIGHTLY BETTER THAN A RECENT STROKE VICTIM. AT ONE POINT, DR. OZ SUGGESTED 423 00:43:58,838 --> 00:44:04,811 IF A WOMAN WANTS AN ABORTION, SHE SHOULD CONSULT A LOCAL POLITICIAN, WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A 424 00:44:04,811 --> 00:44:13,687 GREAT WAY TO GET AN ABORTION FIVE MINUTES LATE AND WAY OUT OF BUDGET. 425 00:44:13,687 --> 00:44:25,632 THIS MY FIRST THOUGHT WHEN I HEARD A GUY MARCHED INTO NANCY PELOSI'S HOUSE WITH A HAMMER, 426 00:44:25,632 --> 00:44:34,074 WAS, WAS IT KANYE? ADIDAS SAID IT WILL STOP MAKING YEEZY SHOES. 427 00:44:34,074 --> 00:44:42,749 FANS SAY IT'S THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO THEM SINCE ANY PUDDLE. KANYE WEST ALSO PROBABLY CLOSED 428 00:44:42,749 --> 00:44:50,757 DONZA ACADEMY, WHICH IS A PRIVATE SCHOOL WHICH ANNOUNCES PARENTS TO SIGN NONDISCLOSURE 429 00:44:50,757 --> 00:45:00,700 AGREEMENTS. WAIT, WE CAN DO NDAs, SAID CATHOLIC PRIESTS. 430 00:45:00,700 --> 00:45:05,772 IS IT JUST ME OR DID HALF THE COMPANY THAT IS DROPPED KANYE SOUND FAKE? 431 00:45:05,772 --> 00:45:12,912 I SAW THE HEADLINE, TJ MAX CUTS TIES WITH KANYE. I'M LIKE, DID KANYE KNOW HE 432 00:45:12,912 --> 00:45:17,851 WORKED FOR TJ MAX. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO ANNOUNCE YOU WERE CUTTING TIES. 433 00:45:17,851 --> 00:45:23,423 WE DIDN'T NEED PELOTON TO ANNOUNCE, WE'RE NO LONGER PLAYING KANYE'S MUSIC. 434 00:45:23,423 --> 00:45:28,428 THANKS, NOW WE CAN REST EASY KNOWING WE WON'T HEAR GOLD DIGGER. 435 00:45:28,428 --> 00:45:33,767 ESPECIALLY WHEN I STARTED GETTING EXCITED ABOUT WHO IS GOING TO ANNOUNCE NEXT. 436 00:45:33,767 --> 00:45:44,210 DIPPING DOTS WILL NO LONGER WORK -- SCRUB DADDY WILL NO LONGER -- TCBY WILL NOW WATCH 437 00:45:44,210 --> 00:45:53,620 THEIR CONE MENU, FEATURING THE NEW FLAVOR, NOUGETS IN PRETZELS. BUT THE CRAZIEST ONE, WHICH IS 438 00:45:53,620 --> 00:45:59,325 SOMEHOW REAL, SOMEHOW REAL, IS THAT GOOD WILL DROPPED KANYE. THEY WILL NO LONGER -- THEY WILL 439 00:45:59,325 --> 00:46:06,066 NO LONGER ACCEPT DONATIONS OF KANYE'S CLOTHING, WHICH IS IRONIC, BECAUSE KANYE'S LOST 440 00:46:06,066 --> 00:46:18,445 ENOUGH MONEY THAT HE MIGHT NEED THEM. RASHEED SUNAK WILL BECOME 441 00:46:18,445 --> 00:46:25,051 GREAT BRITAIN'S FIRST PRIME MINISTER OF INDIAN DECENT. SAID HIS MOM, WHY NOT KING? 442 00:46:25,051 --> 00:46:32,826 DURING A WHITE HOUSE CEREMONY, PRESIDENT BIDEN WISHED KAMALA HARRIS A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 443 00:46:32,826 --> 00:46:37,464 THEN ACCIDENTALLY CALLED HER A GREAT PRESIDENT. EVEN WORSE, HE WAS TALKING TO A 444 00:46:37,464 --> 00:46:44,838 PORTRAIT OF MICHELLE OBAMA. THE POSTAL SERVICE ANNOUNCED A NEW STAMP HONORING RUTH BADER 445 00:46:44,838 --> 00:46:48,842 GINSBURG. THERE'S ALSO A STAMP HONORING CLARENCE THOMAS THAT SAYS, FLIP 446 00:46:48,842 --> 00:47:00,020 ME OVER AND START LICKING. A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT DURING THE PANDEMIC, STUDENTS' 447 00:47:00,020 --> 00:47:09,095 MATH SCORES DROPPED BY ALMOST 10%. WOW, SO MORE THAN HALF. 448 00:47:09,095 --> 00:47:13,466 THE WORLD'S LARGEST SUSPENSION BRIDGE HAS OPENED IN MITCH. 449 00:47:13,466 --> 00:47:20,540 FOR NOW, SAID BEAVERS. POLICE IN QUEENS WERE SEARCHING FOR A SUSPECT WHO 450 00:47:20,540 --> 00:47:25,178 HIJACKED A BUS AND THEN IMMEDIATELY CRASHED IT INTO A UTILITY POLE. 451 00:47:25,178 --> 00:47:35,622 OKAY. SO WE KNOW IT'S A WOMAN. THAT'S GREAT. 452 00:47:35,622 --> 00:47:42,295 VIRGIN AUSTRALIA IS TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO CHOOSE THE MIDDLE SEAT BY ENROLLING THOSE 453 00:47:42,295 --> 00:47:47,901 PEOPLE OVER 200,000 IN PRIZES. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, SPIRIT AIRLINES IS OFFERING A FREE BAG 454 00:47:47,901 --> 00:47:55,542 OF CARROTS IF YOU SIT IN THE BATHROOM. POLICE IN ENGLAND ARE NOW 455 00:47:55,542 --> 00:48:02,349 USING SPECIALLY TRAINED TO GOES TO DETECT SEE MEN AT CRIME SCENES, REPLACING THE OLD METHOD 456 00:48:02,349 --> 00:48:06,419 SCENES, REPLACING THE OLD METHOD OF DETECTING SEE MEN, SLIPPING ON IT. 457 00:48:14,361 --> 00:48:26,639 COUNTRY ARE GETTING READY FOR PARTIES AND TRICK OR TREATING. HERE IS OUR OWN DRUNK UNCLE. 458 00:48:26,639 --> 00:48:31,511 GOOD SAVE. GOOD SAVE. THIS IS HALLOWEEN! 459 00:48:31,511 --> 00:48:38,218 THIS IS HALLOWEEN! HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN! MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN! 460 00:48:38,218 --> 00:48:48,261 HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY! OH, I'M SORRY. YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY IT'S ALL 461 00:48:48,261 --> 00:48:55,068 HALLOW'S EVE ANYMORE. YOU GOT TO CALL IT ALL HALLOW'S STEVE. 462 00:48:55,068 --> 00:48:59,339 UGH. I DON'T THINK YOU DO. SO DRUNK UNCLE, YOU SAY YOU'RE 463 00:48:59,339 --> 00:49:03,143 READY FOR HALLOWEEN. HALLOWEEN IS SOCIALISM, COLIN. 464 00:49:03,143 --> 00:49:07,280 THESE KIDS TODAY, THEY DON'T EVEN WORK HARD JOBS NO MORE. YOU KNOW? 465 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:17,090 WHEN I WAS A KID, WE WERE SHOE SHINE, CHIMNEY SWEEPS, EXTRA, EXTRA PAPER BOYS. 466 00:49:17,090 --> 00:49:23,363 NOWADAYS, IT'S JUST, COULD YOU INSTACART ME SOME MOCHI? WHAT? 467 00:49:23,363 --> 00:49:28,335 I'M SORRY. CAN YOU MIND CRAFT MY META VERSE, PLEASE? 468 00:49:28,335 --> 00:49:34,641 NO. YOU BE REAL. ALL RIGHT. 469 00:49:34,641 --> 00:49:44,317 WELL, SO I GUESS YOU'RE NOT EXCITED FOR HALLOWEEN. TOM WAS TOO GOOD FOR GISELLE. 470 00:49:44,317 --> 00:49:52,726 OKAY. WHAT DO YOU -- WHAT DO YOU -- TIKTOK DANCE. 471 00:49:52,726 --> 00:50:01,668 TIKTOK DANCE. YOU LIKE IT. I DO. 472 00:50:01,668 --> 00:50:07,907 I DO. THE WHOLE THING'S FALLING APART, COLIN! 473 00:50:07,907 --> 00:50:11,478 OKAY? EVERYBODY'S QUIET QUITTING NOW. QUIET QUITTING? 474 00:50:11,478 --> 00:50:15,882 THEY'RE QUIET QUITTING. EXCUSE ME. I QUIT. 475 00:50:15,882 --> 00:50:24,090 EXCUSE ME, I QUIT. WE USED TO QUIT LOUD BECAUSE THEY HIRED A LADY MANAGER AND WE 476 00:50:24,090 --> 00:50:40,106 WERE SCARED. AND ALSO A FEW -- A COUPLE OF THOSE IMMIGRANTES ILLEGADO. 477 00:50:40,106 --> 00:50:52,919 IT'S-A-ME, CHRIS PRATT! NOT MY MARIO. DRUNK UNCLE. 478 00:50:52,919 --> 00:51:01,361 YEAH, I WAS THERE ON JANUARY 6th. WHAT? 479 00:51:01,361 --> 00:51:09,703 * TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT, I DON'T WANT TO LET YOU BEEP, BEEP, SHINE BEEP, BEEP * 480 00:51:09,703 --> 00:51:18,745 OH, OH, NO, OH, DRUNK UNCLE. SO I'M NOT LYLE, LYLE CROCODILE, OKAY? 481 00:51:18,745 --> 00:51:26,753 SO I DIDN'T GRADUATE FROM ABBOTT ELEMENTARY, OKAY? SO I'LL NEVER BE BEYOND BURGERS, 482 00:51:26,753 --> 00:51:32,258 OKAY? NEVER. BIG LIKE A QUARTER POUNDER, PILL 483 00:51:32,258 --> 00:51:38,365 LAY-O-FISH, HAPPY MEAL. JFK, BLOWN AWAY, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY? 484 00:51:38,365 --> 00:51:49,642 THAT'S NOT ME. I DON'T THINK THAT'S ANYONE. DONDA? 485 00:51:49,642 --> 00:51:54,781 YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT KANYE. OH, YES, I MOST CERTAINLY DO, 486 00:51:54,781 --> 00:51:57,817 COLIN. I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO A WHOLE LOT OF WHAT HE HAS TO SAY. 487 00:51:57,817 --> 00:52:03,723 OH, NO. AND GUESS WHAT? I THINK HE MIGHT BE CRAZY. 488 00:52:03,723 --> 00:52:12,866 YOU KNOW, THAT KIND OF TALK DOESN'T FLY ANYMORE, SETH. I LEARNED A LOT. 489 00:52:12,866 --> 00:52:20,807 I LEARNED A LOT -- WHAT DID I SAY? I LEARNED A LOT DURING THE PAN 490 00:52:20,807 --> 00:52:26,946 DEMI MOORE, OKAY? I KNOW THAT BLACK ADAMS MATTER. OKAY? 491 00:52:26,946 --> 00:52:34,688 I SAW BROS IN THEATERS, PAL. OKAY? AND NO HOMO, IT WAS GREAT. 492 00:52:34,688 --> 00:52:37,857 OKAY? I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN. 493 00:52:37,857 --> 00:52:41,661 GAY GUYS ARE STILL FUNNIER THAN WOMEN. OKAY. 494 00:52:41,661 --> 00:52:46,099 ALL RIGHT. KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? 495 00:52:46,099 --> 00:52:48,201 ELON. ELON WHO? I DON'T KNOW. 496 00:52:48,201 --> 00:53:01,448 BUT HE JUST MADE ME CEO OF TWITTER. DRUNK 497 00:53:05,652 --> 00:53:08,855 FINALLY. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAD TO WAIT AN HOUR AND A HALF FOR A STUPID 498 00:53:08,855 --> 00:53:12,926 RIDE. I CAN. CELL BLOCK 666 IS SUPPOSED TO 499 00:53:12,926 --> 00:53:21,167 BE THE SCARIEST RIDE IN FRIGHT NIGHT'S HISTORY. THERE'S ALL THESE TIKTOKS OF 500 00:53:21,167 --> 00:53:29,075 PEOPLE PASSING OUT AND PUKING. IF I PASS OUT, DON'T HELP ME, FILM IT, AND POST IT, PLEASE. 501 00:53:29,075 --> 00:53:32,112 HELLO, AND HELL COME TO CELL BLOCK 666. RIGHT THIS WAY. 502 00:53:32,112 --> 00:53:37,984 OH, MY GOD. I'M ALREADY SCARED. YOU ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON A 503 00:53:37,984 --> 00:53:43,890 TERRIFYING TOUR OF THIS PETRIFYING PRISON WHERE EACH CELL HOLDS AN ICONIC FRIGHT FROM 504 00:53:43,890 --> 00:53:52,399 THE SILVER SCREEN. LET THE TOUR BEGIN. WE ARE APPROACHING OUR FIRST 505 00:53:52,399 --> 00:53:59,239 STOP. TIME TO MEET THE SIN MATES. OPEN CELL 600. 506 00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:03,810 RUN! AHH! YO, MICHAEL MYERS JUST MADE 507 00:54:03,810 --> 00:54:12,786 ME LOW-KEY JUMP. THIS RIDE IS AWESOME. ONLY TIME WILL HELL. 508 00:54:12,786 --> 00:54:21,194 THE NEXT CELL IS UPON US. OPEN CELL 661. MY NAME IS ANNA BELL, CAN YOU 509 00:54:21,194 --> 00:54:25,331 PLAY WITH ME? NO. I HATE ANNA BELL. 510 00:54:25,331 --> 00:54:31,438 I CAN'T WITH THAT LITTLE BITCH. YO, I REALLY MIGHT PASS OUT FOR REAL. 511 00:54:31,438 --> 00:54:38,778 HAVE YOUR PHONES READY. YOU'LL NEVER BE READY FOR THE HORROR THAT YOU'LL FIND IN CELL 512 00:54:38,778 --> 00:54:47,687 662! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I'M DAVID PUMPKIN, AND I'M 513 00:54:47,687 --> 00:55:14,614 GOING TO SCARE YOU STUPID. ** ANY QUESTIONS? 514 00:55:14,614 --> 00:55:19,586 ARE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS? NO. 515 00:55:19,586 --> 00:55:25,392 I'VE SEEN LIKE EVERY HORROR MOVIE EVER, AND NONE OF THEM HAD DAVID PUMPKINS IN IT. 516 00:55:25,392 --> 00:55:30,096 I WAS KIND OF FEELING DAVID PUMPKINS, THOUGH. NICE CHANGE OF PACE. 517 00:55:30,096 --> 00:55:37,303 SILENCE! A NEW CELL OF TERROR AWAITS. OPEN CELL 663. 518 00:55:37,303 --> 00:55:45,879 YOU'VE FLOWN TOO HOT! YEAH, SEE, PENNYWISE MAKES SENSE BECAUSE HE WAS IN A HORROR 519 00:55:45,879 --> 00:55:49,416 MOVIE. BABE, IT'S JUST A RIDE. I JUST WANT IT TO BE 520 00:55:49,416 --> 00:55:51,851 CONSISTENT. THE NEXT SIN MATE IS DYING TO MEET YOU. 521 00:55:51,851 --> 00:56:00,293 OPEN CELL 664. NO. WHO ARE YOU? 522 00:56:00,293 --> 00:56:04,664 I'M DAVID PUMPKINS, MAN. RIGHT. DAVID PUMPKINS FROM? 523 00:56:04,664 --> 00:56:13,606 BEFORE. WE KNOW! I THINK HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW 524 00:56:13,606 --> 00:56:19,512 WHAT YOUR DEAL IS. ANNA BELL IS A POSSESSED DOLL. DAVID PUMPKINS IS? 525 00:56:19,512 --> 00:56:27,620 TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. AND THE SKELETONS ARE? NEXT TO HIM. 526 00:56:27,620 --> 00:56:49,242 NOW, WATCH THIS. ** WHAT'S MY NAME? 527 00:56:49,242 --> 00:56:56,349 DAVID S. PUMPKINS. AND WHERE AM I FROM? IBISA. 528 00:56:56,349 --> 00:57:02,589 PRE GUNTA? SI. MUCHO. 529 00:57:02,589 --> 00:57:07,093 HE'S FROM SPAIN? HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN ACCENT. YO. 530 00:57:07,093 --> 00:57:12,499 HE SAID HE WAS FROM THERE. DOESN'T MEAN HE GREW UP THERE. LET HIM WRITE HIS OWN STORY. 531 00:57:12,499 --> 00:57:18,238 STOP TAKING DAVID PUMPKIN'S SIDE, DUDE. DAVID S. PUMPKINS, BABE. 532 00:57:18,238 --> 00:57:25,145 OUR NEXT STOP IS DEAD AHEAD. OPEN CELL 665. THE STAR OF YOUR NIGHTMARES 533 00:57:25,145 --> 00:57:43,163 IS -- DAVID PUMPKIN. ** YO, I DIDN'T SEE DAVID 534 00:57:43,163 --> 00:57:47,267 PUMPKINS COMING, MAN. THAT WAS FIRE. WHY ARE YOU SO ON BOARD WITH 535 00:57:47,267 --> 00:57:53,073 DAVID PUMPKINS? BABE, JUST IGNORE HIM. I CAN'T. 536 00:57:53,073 --> 00:57:57,977 HE'S HOST OF THIS RIDE. SIR, WHY IS THERE SO MUCH DAVID PUMPKINS IN THIS? 537 00:57:57,977 --> 00:58:05,018 WE SPENT A LOT OF MONEY ON PENNYWISE AND FREDDIE KREUGER. THERE WASN'T A LOT OF ROOM IN 538 00:58:05,018 --> 00:58:11,524 THE BUDGET. NOW, WE'RE HERE. THE INFAMOUS CELL 666. 539 00:58:11,524 --> 00:58:31,911 WHY IS IT JUST YOU GUYS NOW? DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. ** 540 00:58:31,911 --> 00:58:38,785 YUMMY, DADDY. HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM US. AND ME! 541 00:58:38,785 --> 00:58:42,789 AND ME! OH, MY GOD! ** 542 00:58:59,172 --> 00:59:11,251 [ APPLAUSE ] ** * MY PET PEEVE IS 543 00:59:11,251 --> 00:59:15,021 A CAMERA IN MY FACE HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF PERSONAL SPACE * 544 00:59:15,021 --> 00:59:18,224 * I WALK AROUND TOWN IN A HOODIE AND SOME SHADES BUT NOW THEY STARTIN' 545 00:59:18,224 --> 00:59:22,462 TO RECOGNIZE THE SHADES * * EVEN IF YOU HATE ME YOU WOULD TRADE 546 00:59:22,462 --> 00:59:26,232 YOU WOULD LIVE THIS LIFE TOO CAUSE I GOT IT MADE * * I LIKE MY BED MADE 547 00:59:26,232 --> 00:59:30,437 SOON ENOUGH, I'LL HAVE A MAID WHEN I BUY A HOUSE EVERY SURFACE GON BE SUEDE * 548 00:59:30,437 --> 00:59:35,275 * BUT FOR NOW I GOT A CONCIERGE DOWNSTAIRS ALL MY NEIGHBORS 549 00:59:35,275 --> 00:59:37,944 ARD· GRAY-HAIRED * * THEY DON'T RECOGNIZD· ME AND I DON'T THINK 550 00:59:37,944 --> 00:59:40,080 THEY CARE * * BUT MY POSTMATES CAN'T BELIEVE 551 00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,215 THAT I STAY HERE * * I WANNA GO BACK TO KENTUCKY * 552 00:59:42,215 --> 00:59:44,884 * AND SHUT DOWN THE STATE FAIR * VISIT MY OLD TEACHERS 553 00:59:44,884 --> 00:59:48,088 AND TELL 'EM TO TAKE CARE * * I MIGHT TAKE A WHIP INSTEAD OF PAYIN' 554 00:59:48,088 --> 00:59:52,359 THE PLANE FARE * * I STILL REMEMBER THE WAY THERE 555 00:59:52,359 --> 00:59:56,096 AIN'T A GIRL IN MY HOMETOWN I CAN'T HAVE NOW * * BUY A BUILDING IN CASH 556 00:59:56,096 --> 01:00:00,400 AIN'T PUTTIN' HALF DOWN THE HATE USED TO GET TO ME I JUST LAUGH NOW * 557 01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:04,204 * YEAH, THEY WITH JACK NOW * * LOOK HOW THEY ACT NOW 558 01:00:04,204 --> 01:00:13,513 LOOK HOW THEY ACT NOW LOOK HOW THEY ACT NOW THEY ROCKING WITH JACK NOW. 559 01:00:13,513 --> 01:00:24,224 THEY ROCKING WITH YOUR BOY. * LET ME HEAR YOU ONE TIME. TALK TO ME. 560 01:00:24,224 --> 01:00:26,026 * BABY, I'M COMIN' HOME I KNOW THE KIDS MISS ME I NEED SOME TIME WITH 561 01:00:26,026 --> 01:00:27,961 MY FRIENDS TO SIP WHISKEY * * I SPENT THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS LOCKED IN 562 01:00:27,961 --> 01:00:32,232 BUT TONIGHT I'M CONTENT WITH EXISTING * * 2015, WE WAS ON 563 01:00:32,232 --> 01:00:34,901 THAT PEN GRIFFEY I WANTED WHAT HE HAD BUT THE SHOES * 564 01:00:34,901 --> 01:00:38,071 * DIDN'T FIT ME * * NOW THE CITY WITH ME AND I GOT THE KIDS LISTENING 565 01:00:38,071 --> 01:00:41,908 AND I'M A SMOOTH OPERATOR BY INSTINCT * * WORD TO SADE, WALKIN' 566 01:00:41,908 --> 01:00:45,045 'ROUND BROAD DAY * * LIKE HEY WITH THE WINDOWS DOWN 567 01:00:45,045 --> 01:00:47,747 I'M ON BROADWAY * * AND IT WAS JUST A DAY AGO I WAS IN DIEGO 568 01:00:47,747 --> 01:00:51,451 LIKE THE DAMN PADRES * * NOW I'M AT MY GRANDPARENTS LETTIN' MY GRANDPA SAY 569 01:00:51,451 --> 01:00:56,256 WHAT HE WANTS TO SAY * * CAUSE NOWADAYS I'M IN THE PAPER ONCE A DAY 570 01:00:56,256 --> 01:00:59,459 AND IT AIN'T ALWAYS POSITIVE IT'S A BUNCH OF THINGS * * BUT MAN, I DONE 571 01:00:59,459 --> 01:01:02,095 GRADUATED FROM YOUNGER DAYS AND IF I AIN'T * * RUNNIN' THINGS 572 01:01:02,095 --> 01:01:05,832 SOON I'LL BE RUNNIN' THINGS * * I'M AN ARTIST, MAN YOU JUST MAKE FUN OF THINGS 573 01:01:05,832 --> 01:01:08,501 I'M THE HARDEST, MAN * * Y'ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY * 574 01:01:08,501 --> 01:01:12,739 * THIS ALBUM'S A MUSEUM SO PLEASE DON'T TOUCH A THING IT'S OKAY TO GIVE ME PROPS 575 01:01:12,739 --> 01:01:16,476 DON'T MAKE IT SUCH A PAIN * * IT'S OKAY TO GIVE ME TOP DON'T MAKE IT SUCH A THING 576 01:01:16,476 --> 01:01:20,814 DON'T GET OFFENDED IF WE MET AND I SAY WHAT'S YOUR NAME * * I BEEN FLYIN' ROUND THE 577 01:01:20,814 --> 01:01:22,549 COUNTRY FOR THREE * * HUNDRED DAYS BUT I AIN'T 'BOUT TO JUSTIFY 578 01:01:22,549 --> 01:01:26,419 HOW I ADJUST TO FAME * * THE FAME, FROM THE JUMP WE AIN'T BEEN CUT THE SAME 579 01:01:26,419 --> 01:01:29,956 I GOT SO MUCH BUT I STILL THINK ABOUT WHATS OBTAINED * * NEVER BEEN THE TYPE 580 01:01:29,956 --> 01:01:35,462 FOR WANTIN' THINGS I WANT POWER * I WANT MY LIFE TO SPEED UP 581 01:01:35,462 --> 01:01:39,466 A COUPLE MILES PER HOUR I WANT MY DOGS TO KNOW THAT THIS IS OURS * 582 01:01:39,466 --> 01:01:44,270 * I WANT RESPECT I DON'T WANT FLOWERS I KNOW THEY GON QUOTE THIS * 583 01:01:44,270 --> 01:01:46,940 * THE FLOW DON'T MAKE NO SENSE * * THE POCKET IS POTENT 584 01:01:46,940 --> 01:01:50,377 IT USED TO BE POTENTIAL BUT NOW IT'S SOME GROWN * * DAMN, THAT BOY FLOATIN' 585 01:01:50,377 --> 01:01:53,913 HE TREAT THEM BEATS LIKE THEY OCEANS * * ALL THESE PEOPLE WANNA 586 01:01:53,913 --> 01:01:57,117 GREET LIKE WE OLD FRIENDS I AIN'T HOLDIN' BACK TELL THE MEDIA HOLD THIS * 587 01:01:57,117 --> 01:02:01,388 * I KNOW I SAID I MISS YOU BUT I SECRETLY DON'T MISS I GOT STORIES AND I'M BRINGIN 588 01:02:01,388 --> 01:02:29,482 EM HOME WITH ME * ** [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 589 01:02:37,624 --> 01:02:42,762 HELLO, I'M WHOOPI GOLDBERG, AND I'M TECHNICALLY NOT THE STAR OF THE VIEW, BUT I AM THE ONLY 590 01:02:42,762 --> 01:02:51,304 ONE HERE WHO HAS EVER BEEN ASKED FOR AN AUTOGRAPH. AS ALWAYS, I'M JOINED BY THE 591 01:02:51,304 --> 01:02:52,972 PIPPEN TO MY JORDAN, JOY BAY HART. COME ON, I'M RODMAN. 592 01:02:52,972 --> 01:02:56,843 TELL ME I'M NOT RODMAN. I KNOW YOU'VE RUINED SOME HOTEL ROOMS IN VEGAS, THAT'S FOR 593 01:02:56,843 --> 01:03:08,321 SURE. WE'RE ALSO HERE WITH A COUPLE MEMBERS OF THE B TEAM. 594 01:03:08,321 --> 01:03:12,592 THANK YOU, WHOOPI. VERY NICE. ANYWAY, SOME OF YOU MAY RECALL 595 01:03:12,592 --> 01:03:21,134 ON MONDAY, OUR INTERVIEW WITH TED CRUZ WAS INTERRUPTED BY CLIMATE CHANGE PROTESTS. 596 01:03:21,134 --> 01:03:27,340 BUT TODAY WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO A MORE UPBEAT EPISODE WITH A VERY EXCITING GUEST. 597 01:03:27,340 --> 01:03:37,584 PLEASE WELCOME JACK HARLOW! THANKS FOR COMING, JACK. HEY, LADIES, THANKS FOR 598 01:03:37,584 --> 01:03:42,355 HAVING ME. CAN I JUST SAY, WHOP PI. IT'S AN HONOR. 599 01:03:42,355 --> 01:03:50,096 YOU ARE AN ICON. DON'T COMPLIMENT ME ALL QUIET LIKE THAT, JACK. 600 01:03:50,096 --> 01:03:58,938 I HAVE BEEN CLOSED FOR BUSINESS SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. WELL, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO 601 01:03:58,938 --> 01:04:03,510 THE GRAND REOPENING. NO. I'M A DEAD WOMAN WALKING. 602 01:04:03,510 --> 01:04:08,114 I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE TO OUR GUEST, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING I WANTED TO SAY -- 603 01:04:08,114 --> 01:04:13,253 NO, NO. WE'RE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN. THEY CAME TO THE SHOW TALKING 604 01:04:13,253 --> 01:04:20,760 ABOUT STOP BIG OIL. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? IT'S AN IMPORTANT ISSUE, 605 01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:23,229 WHOOPI. HOW? I DON'T KNOW HIM. 606 01:04:23,229 --> 01:04:31,071 SAVE THE PLANET. I'M ALREADY SAVING OUR RATINGS. WHOOPI. 607 01:04:31,071 --> 01:04:40,080 JACK, WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S ALL GOOD. WHOOPI, IS IT THE GLOBAL 608 01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:44,984 WARMING, OR IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE? BABY, PLEASE. 609 01:04:44,984 --> 01:04:52,258 WE WOULD NEVER WORK. THE ONLY MCs I NEED IN MY LIFE ARE MY CATS AND MY CIGARETTES. 610 01:04:52,258 --> 01:04:57,764 CAN I JUST SAY, PERSONALLY, I THINK WE SHOULD SPEAK ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE. 611 01:04:57,764 --> 01:05:07,173 THANK YOU, SWEETHEART, BUT WE MOVED ON. BACK TO THE MATTER AT HAND, THE 612 01:05:07,173 --> 01:05:12,779 ONE AND ONLY BLACK HARLOW. STOP PLAYING WITH ME. IT'S JUST JACK. 613 01:05:12,779 --> 01:05:28,895 I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU, DON'T YOU THINK THE WOMEN IN YOUR VIDEOS ARE OBJECTIFYING TO 614 01:05:28,895 --> 01:05:32,432 WOMEN? OH, PLEASE. THEY TOOK THE DAMN ROLE. 615 01:05:32,432 --> 01:05:39,939 SO JK WAB WHAT DO YOU SAY? I GUESS I'LL JUST SAY THERE'S A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLS IN MY 616 01:05:39,939 --> 01:05:44,477 VIDEOS. RIGHT NOW, WHAT I NEED MOST IS A WOMAN. 617 01:05:44,477 --> 01:05:46,780 OKAY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO TO ME. 618 01:05:46,780 --> 01:05:56,156 BUT IT IS WORKING. I'M FEELING LIKE INDIANA JONES JUST STEPPED ON A BOOBIE TRAP, 619 01:05:56,156 --> 01:06:03,596 BECAUSE MY WHOLE DUSTY CAVE HAS STARTED TO RUMBLE. I LIKE THAT MOVIE. 620 01:06:03,596 --> 01:06:08,902 MAYBE WE SHOULD WATCH IT TOGETHER SOMETIME. I HOPE YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF 621 01:06:08,902 --> 01:06:12,772 SNAKES. OKAY, JACK. AM I SENSING A METAPHOR? 622 01:06:12,772 --> 01:06:20,947 WHOOPI, I'VE MET A LOT OF FOURS, BUT TODAY, I'VE MET A TEN. 623 01:06:20,947 --> 01:06:26,820 WAIT A MINUTE. SO THE SNAKE WAS ABOUT HIS -- OH, MY GOD! 624 01:06:26,820 --> 01:06:33,727 WELL, JOY, I AM WET. AND THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE TODAY, FOLKS. 625 01:06:33,727 --> 01:06:39,599 AND THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE TODAY, FOLKS. BRING IT TO MAMA. 626 01:06:44,871 --> 01:06:49,242 WE WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO 627 01:06:49,242 --> 01:06:56,516 TOM HANKS! BOBBY MOYNIHAN! 628 01:06:56,516 --> 01:07:01,921 AND JEFF PROBST. AND LITERALLY, LITERALLY, 629 01:07:01,921 --> 01:07:06,659 EVERYONE BEHIND ME. THANK YOU. 630 01:07:06,659 --> 01:07:10,897 I HAD A GREAT TIME THIS WEEK. THIS IS GENUINELY A DREAM COME 631 01:07:10,897 --> 01:07:13,233 TRUE. I GREW UP WATCHING THIS. 632 01:07:13,233 --> 01:07:14,100 I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH. THANK YOU. 633 01:07:14,100 --> 01:07:17,170 THANK YOU. THANK YOU.