1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,932 Female singer: J“ my man's a taxi driver 4 00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:18,852 j“ my man's a taxi driver 5 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,064 j“ I'd like to take a ride with you 6 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,901 j“ don't wanna be tied to you 7 00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:30,781 j“ I promise I 7! Try my very best 8 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:34,284 j“ to please ya, darlin' 9 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:37,246 j“ you know that fair's fair with me 10 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,958 j“ there's things you can share with me 11 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,545 j“ so take my tip and we could skip 12 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,506 j“ formalities 13 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:53,095 j“ won't you be my cruisin' Casanova? 14 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:57,182 J“ click your fingers and I'll be over there 15 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,434 j“ smoothin' your hair 16 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:02,646 j“ soothin' your cares away 17 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:08,193 j“ there's no refusin' Casanova 18 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:12,614 j“ stop the clock and workin' overtime 19 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:16,159 j“ cruisin' Casanova, be mine 20 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:19,871 j“ my man's a taxi driver 21 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:23,083 j“ my man's a taxi driver j“ 22 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,806 Narrator: Every major international city 23 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:42,352 has that most popular means of transport, the taxi. 24 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,813 That unique brand of conveyance 25 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,983 which combines efficiency with individuality. 26 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,737 Perhaps most popular for the personal service it provides. 27 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:59,578 Enthusiastic, hard-working, with never a moment's rest, 28 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,581 probably the taxi driver's most lovable attribute 29 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,460 is the warm welcome he is always eager to extend 30 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,629 to foreign visitors. 31 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,465 The moment you hail a taxi, 32 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:15,135 you can be sure of being greeted by a friendly smile, 33 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,095 a concern for your well-being, 34 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:21,308 and someone at the wheel always ready to lend a helping hand. 35 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,079 There are, at present, literally millions of taxis 36 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,415 operating throughout the world on a 24-hour basis, 37 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,421 ensuring that at any time, day or night, within seconds, 38 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:55,801 you can be speeding happily away to the destination of your choice. 39 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,473 Renowned for their total lack of prejudice, 40 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,475 a taxi will stop for anybody, 41 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,812 irrespective of colour, class, or creed. 42 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,528 Adored by the public 43 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,698 for their whimsical charm and delightful disposition, 44 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:20,742 perhaps, more than any other form of public transport, 45 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:25,580 the taxi driver holds a unique place in the hearts of the people. 46 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,251 Not least his fellow road users, who appreciate to the full 47 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,461 that quiet, courteous Patience, 48 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,755 that affable, friendly manner, 49 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,508 that consideration for his fellow motorists, 50 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,885 with whom he is always ready to exchange 51 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:42,180 a friendly wave and some merry little quip. 52 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,769 But, possibly more than anything else to his credit, 53 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,606 the taxi driver bears the distinction of being a driver of knowledge, 54 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,900 experience and efficiency, 55 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,986 reassuring all who drive with him 56 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:59,489 that the taxi is not only the safest vehicle on the road, 57 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,074 but holds the proud record 58 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:04,369 for being involved in the least number of accidents. 59 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,796 Without a doubt, we, the public, 60 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,175 owe much to these gallant knights of the road, 61 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,635 of whom it can truly be said, 62 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,221 "everything we feel for them, 63 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,932 "the y feel for us." 64 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,369 That'll be seventy-five, guv. 65 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,496 Thank you. 66 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,373 Thank you. 67 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,668 Thank you very much. 68 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,670 Well, you try smiling 69 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,357 when you've been lumbered with a miserable, tight-fisted git like him, 70 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,151 after you've fought through all the bleedin' traffic 71 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:03,512 and had him moanin' on at you, like it was all your fault. 72 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,809 Sorry about that. 73 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:11,436 Been a bit of a bad day, know what I mean? 74 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,396 By the way, my name's Joe. 75 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,775 Well, with a name like that, I had to go in the cabbing business, didn't I? 76 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,694 Been at it a year or so now. Got me own cab. 77 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,823 Well, almost. Soon as I've finished paying for it. 78 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,616 Yeah, it's not such a bad job, really. 79 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,536 Hard work, but then so's anything these days. 80 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,995 Not that I mind. 81 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,873 Got me health and strength, know what I mean? 82 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,459 Mind you, I'll be a lot happier when I get me own place. 83 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,670 Trouble is, you see, I live at home. 84 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,172 You need a bit of peace and quiet after doing this job. 85 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,676 And iivin' at home? No joke, I can tell ya. 86 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,886 Oh, yeah, makes a great start to the day. 87 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,974 Joe: Oh, come on, mum, I'm late as it is. 88 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,977 Well, it's your own fault. 89 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,729 Comin' in here last night, pissed as a newt, 90 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,774 crashin' about all over the place and wakin' me up. 91 00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,569 Lay off, ma, will ya? Do us a favour. 92 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,697 You're gettin' more like your father every day, you are. 93 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,908 And you're gonna end up like him, Mark my words. 94 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,660 And where were you last night? 95 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,580 Out screwin' some poor, innocent little girl, I suppose. 96 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,875 - Just like your father. - Don't make me laugh. 97 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,335 You hardly knew him. You only met him once. 98 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,672 Don't talk like that in front of the baby. 99 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:25,093 You woke her up and all, didn't he, my dear little pet? 100 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,053 Have more consideration. 101 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:30,724 Anyway, it was twice I met him. Twice. 102 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,559 Gimme 'em! 103 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:36,021 Mummy'll give you somethin' nicer than that to play with, 104 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,064 there's a good little girl. 105 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,276 Well, are you gonna sit staring at that all day, 106 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,569 or are you gonna eat it? 107 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,363 I don't feel like eating. Look, just give me a cup of tea, will ya? 108 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,366 Mrs north: Oh, I don't know why I bother, I really don't. 109 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,953 I mean, food is wasted just as though it cost nothing. 110 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,955 Joe: All right, all right! Something's burning. 111 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,124 Porridge, by the smell. 112 00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,045 Oh, it's all right, just at the bottom. 113 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,963 The top's all right. 114 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,011 - Don't like porridge! - Yes, you do. It's lovely. 115 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,722 It's horrid! Horrid! Horrid! 116 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,265 - Shut up! - Mrs north: Oh! 117 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,018 Mrs north: Now look what you've done. 118 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,354 You know it makes her cry. 119 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,815 All right, I give up. That's it. Bloody hell. I'm late as it is. 120 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,194 - Look, where's me fares book? - Oh, in the cupboard. 121 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,033 Oh, my god! 122 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,285 That little tyke's been thievin' again, ain't he? 123 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:36,122 Where is he? Peter! Come in here! Peter! 124 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,833 And he's like his father and all. 125 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,020 Wind up in the same cell with him, I shouldn't wonder, 126 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,046 the way he's carryin' on. 127 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,089 Peter! 128 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,424 How am I supposed to get to sleep with all this racket? 129 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,301 Yeah? So? Where's the fire, then? 130 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,679 Joe: Over here. Come here. 131 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,098 Look, what have you got to say about all this lot, then? 132 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:56,309 Good gear, innit? I mean, it's not rubbish, is it? 133 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,895 Here, you said you got a properjob. 134 00:07:59,020 --> 00:07:59,854 Vveh, I have. 135 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,815 I mean, I'm doin' it proper now, aren't I? 136 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,817 Been working very hard at it and all. 137 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,236 I've got a sharp little organisation together. 138 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,130 You're gonna get us all into trouble one of these days. 139 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,514 I mean, anyone could just walk in. 140 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,783 Yeah, and all that lot iyin' there. 141 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,536 Not to mention twenty cartons of hairspray 142 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,996 I found hidden under me bed. 143 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,127 Fell off the back of a lorry, didn't they, mum? 144 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,476 You're gonna end up in the Nick with ten years ahead of you. 145 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,045 Peter's goin' in the Nick! Peter's goin' in the Nick! 146 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,839 Why can't you get an honest job for once? 147 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,717 What? Like driving a cab? Leave off. 148 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,778 Anyway, that's no more than bleedin' highway robbery, 149 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,613 so what are you doin' tellin' me to go straight? 150 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,597 Joe: Oh, choice. I like that. 151 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,853 Just don't ask me to bail you out, that's all. 152 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,523 It's your funeral. 153 00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,540 What'd I tell ya, eh? It's always like that. 154 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,293 Makes it a pleasure goin' to work of a mornin'. 155 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:12,260 I tell you what'd cheer me up, be to pick up a nice bit of crumpet. 156 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,345 Very handy for introductions, this motor. 157 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,610 Female singer: J“ a man about town like you 158 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:32,113 j“ you have better things to do 159 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,908 j“ but spendin' the time 160 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:38,119 j“ I'll see that it's worth your while 161 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,246 j“ oh, baby 162 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:44,209 j“ I know you've been runnin' free 163 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,836 j“ I think you'd have fun with me 164 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,963 j“ forget the rest 165 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:53,259 j“ I'd like to test your drivin' style 166 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,969 j“ won't you be my 167 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:58,807 j“ cruisin' Casanova? 168 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:03,019 J“ click your fingers and I'll be over there 169 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,063 j“ smoothin' your hair 170 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:08,399 j“ soothin' your cares away 171 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:13,613 j“ there's no refusin' Casanova 172 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,951 j“ stop the clock and workin' overtime 173 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,663 j“ cruisin' Casanova, be mine 174 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,083 j“ my man's a taxi driver... j“ 175 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,383 - Where to, darling? - Lambeth bridge, please. 176 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,301 Right you are, then. 177 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,024 Nice morning, innit? You off to work, then? 178 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,569 Yeah, I thought so. I can usually tell. 179 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,488 Well, being in this job, you have to be a bit of a psychologist. 180 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,657 What do you do for a living, eh? No, don't tell me. 181 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,117 Let me guess. 182 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,703 I'd say you're a secretary, right? 183 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,165 Personal secretary to some oil magnate, eh? 184 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,000 Really high-powered. 185 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,002 Don't let appearances fool ya. 186 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,504 Be a right little raver, this one, when it gets going. 187 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,464 Got a lovely little body on her, too. 188 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,425 No mistake. 189 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,510 Looks a bit miserable, though. 190 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,804 I know what she needs, right? 191 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,723 That's another thing I can tell. 192 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:25,643 Whether a bird's had a good seein' to, or not, the night before. 193 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:29,522 I reckon that one's had a right thin time of it lately, don't you? 194 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,193 Born in London, were ya? No, don't tell me. Let me guess. 195 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,903 I'd say, judging from your accent, 196 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,405 that you're from somewhere up north, right? 197 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,324 Yes, I can usually tell. 198 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,744 Somewhere like, er... Liverpool, maybe? 199 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,246 Yeah. Liverpool, I'd say. 200 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,415 She's weakening. What'd I tell you, eh? 201 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:51,669 Oh, yes, definitely softening up. Stands out a mile. 202 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,463 Which side of the bridge, love? 203 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,632 - The middle. - The middle? 204 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,592 Right, then. Middle it is. 205 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,565 That'll be, um... here, hang on! 206 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:16,486 Hey! Hang on a minute, darling. What about my fare? 207 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,041 Go away and leave me alone! Please. Just leave me alone. 208 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,126 But I never laid a finger on ya. 209 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,312 Look_. What's the matter with you? 210 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,672 Jesus Christ, I only want me bleedin' fare. 211 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,524 Look, if you haven't got it, there's no need to panic. 212 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,592 I mean it. Don't come any closer. 213 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,011 All right. All right. I'm going. I'm going. 214 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,721 You don't care, do you? 215 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,431 - Nobody cares. - Eh? 216 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,308 No-one will even notice I'm dead. 217 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,519 All right, then, if that's the way it is, 218 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,645 I'll jump now. 219 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,689 - Oh, my god! - Don't try and stop me. 220 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,899 It's too late. My mind's made up. 221 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,110 No. Wait. Don't do it! 222 00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:01,864 The pain, the suffering, will only end when the icy waters close over me, 223 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,241 carrying me away into oblivion. 224 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,411 - Funny bird. - The dreamless sleep of eternity. 225 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,972 Darlin', why don't you tell me about it? 226 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,539 I mean, I don't pretend to understand. 227 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,915 I've only just met you, haventl? 228 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,184 But you know what they say, right? 229 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,918 "A trouble shared is a trouble halved." 230 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,838 And all can say is, well, it seems to me a terrible waste, 231 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,340 beautiful girl like you tryin' to do away with herself. 232 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,550 What do you say, eh? 233 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,236 I mean, nothing's ever that bad, really. 234 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,761 Not when you come down to it. 235 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,722 It's too late for talking now. 236 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,765 Oh, please, darlin'. Try, eh? 237 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,684 I'm all alone in the world. 238 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:32,395 No-one loves me. No-one cares. 239 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:36,274 You don't know what it's like to be left alone, unloved, unwanted. 240 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,109 Hold on. I don't believe it. 241 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,570 Beautiful girl like you and no-one wants to know? 242 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,488 Listen, [could love ya. 243 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,657 I mean, the first time I saw ya, I said to meself, 244 00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,492 "now there's a girl I could really love." 245 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,036 There was a man. 246 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,412 Once. 247 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,039 I thought he loved me. 248 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,833 - Oh, Ronald, Ronald! - Watch yourself, you'll fall! 249 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,043 He's never coming back. 250 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,670 I'll never see him again. Never! I want to die. 251 00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:01,341 I can't face life without him. Oh, Ronald, Ronald! 252 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,971 I can't even kill myself properly. 253 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,639 I'm a failure at everything. 254 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,142 No, you just need cheerin' up, that's all. 255 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,311 Look, you've had a nasty shock, right? 256 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,730 Why don't I take you home, eh? Where do you live? 257 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,649 Do you really think I'll ever be able to forget Ronald? 258 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,985 'Course you will. With a bit of help. 259 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,362 I need love, you see. 260 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,739 That's what I need, lots of loving. 261 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,532 Well, er... 262 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,159 I did just save her life, didn't I? 263 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,745 I mean, the way I look at it, it's an offer I can't refuse. 264 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,456 And strong arms. Strong arms to hold me. 265 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:36,876 Hold ya? It's like trying to undress a bloody octopus. 266 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,087 I don't want you to think I'm promiscuous, 267 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,647 just because you caught me at a weak moment. 268 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,340 Oh, I don't. I don't. 269 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,092 Look, just lift up a bit, will ya? 270 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,636 It's just that without Ronald, I feel so helpless. 271 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,405 Oh, I don't know, you seem to be doing all right. 272 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,390 I wish he was here right now, so he could see. 273 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,933 Oh, I don't! 274 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,478 Man: Linda! 275 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,605 - It's Ronald. - Ronald? 276 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,486 - Oh! - You got it all wrong, mate. 277 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,113 It's not like that at all. 278 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,657 I've just brought her back in my cab, you see. 279 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,659 And you're just collecting the fare, that right? 280 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,119 Yeah. No! 281 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:14,038 You mustn't... Mustn't get it wrong. Um... 282 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,249 I didn't dare leave her. 283 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,459 She was gonna do herself in. 284 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,753 Throw herself off lambeth bridge. 285 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,338 Well, that makes a change. 286 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,758 Let's see, what's the score now? Westminster twice, 287 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,010 blackfriars, London bridge, tower bridge, 288 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,446 and that's only in the last few months. 289 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,265 Well, how was I supposed to know? I mean, she was in a terrible state. 290 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,100 - Said you'd left her. - And you did. 291 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,828 You just walked out without saying goodbye, 292 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,853 and you slammed the door. 293 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,188 - Cover yourself up, will you? - That's typical, that is. 294 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,149 Most of the time you want me to uncover myself. 295 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,668 That's different. That's when I'm with you. 296 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,652 Well, you're with me now, so what's different? 297 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,737 Admit it, you only want me for my body. 298 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,139 Oh, Linda, don't be so ridiculous. 299 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,115 - I'm not being... - Er... excuse me... 300 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,426 You think you can treat me how you like, 301 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,659 as if I've got no feelings. 302 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,871 - Now, you know that's not true. - Oh, calling me a liar, are you, now? 303 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,474 Not content with only wanting me for my body, I'm a liar as well! 304 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,542 - Ronald: I didn't say that! - Um... excuse me... 305 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,420 I knew it. I just knew it. You don't love me any more. 306 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,754 Of course I do! 307 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,965 You wouldn't say such things if you did. 308 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,276 Look, I don't want to interrupt anything... 309 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,154 Look, if I didn't love you, how the hell could I have put up with you for so long? 310 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,989 - I said, I don't want to interrupt... - Just mind your own business. 311 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,198 Keep your nose out of this, mate. 312 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,099 I've got to go to work sometimes, you know, 313 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:18,227 without you thinking I'm leaving you and threatening to commit suicide. 314 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,396 You drive me to it. You're so... 315 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,356 You're so cruel to me! Thank you. 316 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,667 - Thank you. - Oh, don't be so stupid. 317 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,318 You're sick, that's your trouble. 318 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,487 Linda: Oh, yes, that's always your attitude. 319 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:30,698 You never think. And you still haven't remembered. 320 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,242 Ronald: Remembered what, for heaven's sake? 321 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,702 Linda: It's my birthday! 322 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,263 Ronald: So what's important about a birthday? 323 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,056 - Linda: It's very important... - Ronald: You have one every year. 324 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:43,127 - Come on, you can't have more than one. - Linda: It's very important to have a birthday! 325 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,723 It's gonna be one of those days. I just know it. 326 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,728 Peter: I'd like to take her out and push her under a bus. 327 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,207 Mrs north: Don't you talk about your little sister like that. 328 00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,732 I won't have it! 329 00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,401 Sister? She's not even human. 330 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:11,030 Look at that lot! A whole bleedin' ton of soap powder ruined. 331 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,949 Do you know how much money she's lost me? 332 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,536 And when I'd done a deal on it. Knocked myself out to set it up. 333 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,680 Mrs north: Well, no-one asked you to bring it in here, did they? 334 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,248 Clutterin' up my kitchen. 335 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:23,000 Well, I want it out. Just get rid of it. 336 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,877 - Do you hear me? - Oh, yeah? 337 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,379 Now, what am I supposed to say? 338 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,965 Like, er... "Listen, mate, about that soap powder, 339 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,385 "I did have it, see, but it sort of vanished. Sorry about that." 340 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:35,972 Or how about, "my little sister decided to decorate the house with it." 341 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,766 Oh, they're gonna love that, after they've picked themselves up 342 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,560 off the bloody floor laughing, of course. 343 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,980 Joe, Joe, just tell him, will you? Just tell him to get rid of it. 344 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,148 No. No. I... I've had as much as I can take. 345 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,126 I wash my hands of the whole bleedin' lot of you. 346 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,152 That's it, as far as I'm concerned. 347 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,757 Mrs north: Why don't you get rid of the stuff you've already got 348 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,408 before you bring more in? 349 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:58,744 It's getting so that I can't even move around me own house. 350 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,580 What's all that gear doin' in my bedroom? 351 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,766 Peter: I'll wring her bloody little neck, so help me, I will. 352 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:03,958 Joe: Peter! 353 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,061 Peter: Little monster ought to have been put down at birth. 354 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,211 What? 355 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,421 - Peter! - Peter: What? 356 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,299 I want to know what all that... 357 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,926 Oh, never mind. Forget it. 358 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,929 And where do you think you're going, sunny Jim? 359 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,932 I've got a nice little job for you first. 360 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:24,353 - Dump it. - Peter: Oh, ma, where? 361 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,148 Mrs north: That is your problem, not mine. 362 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,401 And mind you bring that bucket back. 363 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,453 Where do you think you're going with that? 364 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,829 I told you, I'm leaving. 365 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:45,291 Oh, I see. Just walkin' out and ieavin' me to cope? 366 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,210 A fine son you turned out to be. 367 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:51,380 Just like your father, whoever he was. Here! 368 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,216 What am I supposed to tell Carol when she comes? 369 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,218 Well, you can tell her to... 370 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,429 - Hello, love. - Hello, love. 371 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:02,683 Carol, me steady. Bit of a drag. Got wedding bells in her ears. 372 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:06,103 - What you doin' with that, then? - He's clearin' off. 373 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:09,815 Walkin' out on his responsibilities, that's what he's doin'. 374 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:13,653 Oh, no! No, I'm sure Joe wouldn't do a thing like that without telling me. 375 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,196 - Would you, Joe? - Yes, I would. 376 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,783 I've had enough. I'm clearin' out. I've had enough. 377 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,034 Ooh! 378 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:23,287 Well, I expect I'll see you later, then? 379 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,539 Joeljoe! 380 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,459 Joe north! You come here. Come here. 381 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,170 Do I comprehend the situation correctly? 382 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,547 - Are you ieavin' home? - Dead right. 383 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,717 Without a word to me or even a by-your-leave? 384 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,302 It's got nothing to do with you. 385 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,307 What do you mean it's got nothing to do with me? 386 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,014 I happen to be your fiancée, 387 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,600 and fiancées have a right to know these things. 388 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,269 - So where are you going? - I don't know. 389 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,564 - What do you mean, you don't know? - Well, I just told you, I don't know. 390 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,793 You can't just leave home and not know where you're going. 391 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,861 As soon as I find somewhere, I'll get in touch, all right? 392 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,114 Well, when's that, then? 393 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,075 How should I know? Tonight, tomorrow, as soon as I'm settled in. 394 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,261 Well, does that mean you're not gonna take me out tonight? 395 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,413 How can I? I don't know where I'll be. 396 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,915 - Gone with the wind. - W hat? 397 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:11,210 That's what you were supposed to take me to, gone with the wind. 398 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,504 Oh, come on, now. You must have seen it ten times. 399 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:14,714 Eleven. 400 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:17,150 What with that and lady and the tramp every year at Christmas, 401 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,734 it's enough to drive anyone up the wall. 402 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:21,512 Well, you don't have to come. I mean, nobody's forcing you to. 403 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,806 I mean, you don't have to care if I'm on my own, 404 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,142 probably being molested in the back row. 405 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,352 Oh, come on. Who's gonna molest you? 406 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,688 Lots of people, if! Let 'em. 407 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,523 Anyway, you always do. 408 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,292 Yeah, well, I've gotta find something to do, haven't I? 409 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,585 Gone with the wind, it's a long film. 410 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,862 Well, if you won't take me to the pictures, 411 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:40,298 why can't I come with you and help you find somewhere to stay? 412 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,117 Carol, I'll be all right. 413 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,953 Supposing you're movin' in with another woman? 414 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,872 Oh, leave off, Carol. 415 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,498 Well, how am I supposed to know? 416 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,709 Look, I'll ring you, all right? 417 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,503 You see, if you would have told me you were ieavin' home, 418 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,046 I could have done the same, 419 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,899 and then we could have moved in together, and... 420 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,593 And got married before I originally planned. 421 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,470 Yeah. Well, er... I'll ring you. 422 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,513 See, if you wouldn't mind hangin' about for a bit, 423 00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,640 I could belt home and start packing straight away. 424 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:07,892 Ah, no! Look, um... 425 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,728 Twenty minutes, fifteen at the outside if you took me by cab. 426 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,856 Carol, I haven't got time for all this. 427 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,111 What is the matter? 428 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,988 Do you not want to live with me anymore? 429 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,282 'Course I do. It's nothing to do with that. 430 00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,868 Well, you wouldn't think so, the way you go on about it. 431 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,305 You know, you'll have to get used to it once we're married. 432 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,580 Look, what's up with you? 433 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,081 Don't you trust me or something? 434 00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:32,958 Quite frankly, no. 435 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,126 Charmin'. 436 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,004 Well, it's just that I don't like to think of you being unfaithful. 437 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:41,258 Especially as I spent all my savings last week buying my engagement ring. 438 00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,969 - Have I ever been unfaithful to you? - No. 439 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:46,263 Have you ever caught me with another woman? 440 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,767 Have you ever caught me, when I've been out with you, 441 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,353 even looking at another woman? 442 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,271 - No. - Well, there you are, then. 443 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:57,024 You've got nothing to worry about, have you? 444 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:59,819 That is besides the point. 445 00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:04,615 Remember, a penny saved is a penny not spent. 446 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,700 What are you goin' on about? 447 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:10,287 Do not put all your balls in one basket. 448 00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:12,498 That is what I'm trying to say. 449 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:17,169 You see, if I caught you reclining in the embrace of another woman, 450 00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,380 do you know what I would do? 451 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,173 I would chop it off! 452 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:23,968 Look, you can trust me. 453 00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:27,513 As soon as I find somewhere, I'll ring you, all right? 454 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,640 But, I thought I was coming with you. 455 00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:32,393 - What? - Well, that's what we agreed. 456 00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,478 - Yeah. Well, look, um... you go home... - Yeah. 457 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:36,063 - And pack your things. - Yeah. 458 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,108 - And then as soon as I find somewhere... - Yeah. 459 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,819 - I'll see ya later. - Right. 460 00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:45,781 I hadn't finished yet! 461 00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:15,895 Tom? Tom? You about? 462 00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:17,855 Tom: With you in a minute. 463 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:23,319 - Joe, how are things? - Oh, not so bad. 464 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,737 Mind if I carry on? 465 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,448 - Busy, I see. - Oh, not bad. 466 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,200 Joe: Still got your picture gallery, then? 467 00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:32,953 You dirty old bastard. 468 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:36,081 Make good dart boards. You should see how my aim's improved. 469 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:38,792 Here, pass that grease gun, will ya? 470 00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,548 How's the cab business, then? 471 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,508 Oh, mustn't grumble. 472 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,931 Thing is, I, er... 473 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,475 I did want to ask you a favour, mate. 474 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,978 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Um... 475 00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,648 You know that flat you've got upstairs? 476 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:02,733 Yeah? What about it? 477 00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:05,527 - Well, it's got two bedrooms, right? - Just about. Yeah. 478 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,696 Yeah. Well, I've got this problem, see. 479 00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:10,324 Like, I've gotta find somewhere to live, and, er... 480 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,660 Well, seeing as how we're mates... 481 00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:14,304 I mean, I'd help towards the rent and that. 482 00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:17,414 Listen, Joe, any time, you know that. 483 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,249 Unfortunately, it's not that simple. 484 00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,394 I mean, if you'd asked me a couple of weeks ago, no problem. 485 00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:24,018 But, the trouble, is I've got a lady living with me at the moment. 486 00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:26,590 Don't tell me you need two beds. You must be slipping. 487 00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:29,051 No, no, no, it's not that. 488 00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:32,012 Look, Joe, I'll be straight with you. You know women. 489 00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:35,557 You never know how they'll react. I mean, well, Nikki's a nice lady, but... 490 00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:38,477 - Well, she does work odd hours. - Yeah? 491 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,354 Has its advantages, I suppose. 492 00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:43,691 I wouldn't ask if I wasn't really desperate. 493 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,526 Just till I get something else fixed up. 494 00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:47,778 All right, all right. Just for a couple of weeks, 495 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,239 - till you find somewhere. - Yeah. 496 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,574 Woman: Is this a private party or can anyone join in? 497 00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:55,452 Hello! Talk of the devil! 498 00:24:56,078 --> 00:24:58,956 I'll say this for Tom, he certainly knows how to pick 'em. 499 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,499 Now, she's obviously a bit of class. 500 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:02,435 Probably an air hostess, or something like that. 501 00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:05,254 Tom: This is Nikki. She's a stripper. 502 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,548 Well, you can't always be right, can ya? 503 00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:10,259 Joe's comin' to stay with us for a while. 504 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:14,054 - Oh, nice. When? - Joe: How about now? 505 00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:16,640 Nikki: You weren't kiddin', were you? 506 00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:19,164 Well, I don't believe in hanging about once me mind's made up. 507 00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:22,771 You, er... Plannin' on stayin' long, then? 508 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,315 Well, just till I get meself sorted out, 509 00:25:25,399 --> 00:25:27,234 find a nice little place to live. 510 00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:29,111 Oh, if you hear of anywhere that's going, 511 00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:30,446 not too expensive. 512 00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,072 Oh, yeah. Sure. 513 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:33,824 She fancies me. I can tell. 514 00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:37,119 I could pull this one. Dead easy. No problem. 515 00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,580 I expect you're like me. 516 00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:41,123 Work odd hours. 517 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,375 Yeah, I do a bit. 518 00:25:43,459 --> 00:25:45,711 I suppose that means we won't... 519 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,588 See a lot of each other, then. 520 00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:50,382 Do you fancy a quick one before I go? 521 00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:54,553 Oh! Er... no, thanks. 522 00:25:54,636 --> 00:25:56,346 Better get out and earn some money. 523 00:25:56,430 --> 00:25:59,099 - Like me to drop you off? - Oh yeah, great. 524 00:25:59,183 --> 00:26:01,477 Save me gettin' a cab. 525 00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:03,812 Yeah, I could definitely make it with her, 526 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:05,898 but I think I'd better put in a bit of hard graft, 527 00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,149 earn meself some money. 528 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:10,235 Yes, that's what I'm gonna concentrate on for a bit, money. 529 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:40,909 Nikki! 530 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:43,620 - Nikki! Nikki! - What? 531 00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,956 No, stand back, for god's sake. Stand back. 532 00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,333 Why? What's happened? 533 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,878 It's a... in there. 534 00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:55,215 No, don't go any closer. 535 00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:58,719 Oh, don't be silly. 536 00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:02,264 - But it's a... - It's monty. 537 00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:04,099 Oh, don't touch it. 538 00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:07,019 They bite, you know. They're... they're poisonous! 539 00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:09,730 Monty is a python, 540 00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:12,024 and they don't bite. 541 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:15,777 Anyway, he wouldn't hurt anyone, would you, monty? 542 00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,363 Are you trying to tell me... 543 00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:22,868 - Is that thing yours? - Well, of course it is. 544 00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:25,537 And don't shout. 545 00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:28,916 You'll upset him. He's very highly strung. 546 00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:31,919 Well, what's he doing in my bath? 547 00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:34,922 Where else could I put him? 548 00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:37,966 Anyway, he likes it in the bath. 549 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:40,302 Keep that horrible thing away from me. 550 00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:42,387 I'm telling you, you'll have to get rid of it. 551 00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:45,641 It's not staying here. You'll have to get rid of it. 552 00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,643 Get rid of it? 553 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:48,810 I can't. 554 00:28:48,894 --> 00:28:51,563 And, even if I wanted to, which I don't, 555 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:54,441 - he's part of my act. - Change your act. 556 00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:57,069 Change my act? 557 00:28:57,152 --> 00:29:01,782 Monty is a huge success and you don't replace that in a hurry. 558 00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:05,244 - Do you, darlin'? - Oh, will you stop doing that? 559 00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:08,830 Gives me the horrors, those beady little eyes starin' at me all the time. 560 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:11,959 I don't know why you're making such a fuss. 561 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,877 Give me his basket. 562 00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:22,511 I don't know how you'd feel if you found a snake in your bath. 563 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,721 I mean, I almost had a heart attack. 564 00:29:24,805 --> 00:29:26,932 Are you sure that thing's gonna be safe in there? 565 00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:29,685 Yes, of course he is. 566 00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:32,771 Monty is very well behaved. 567 00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:37,401 In you go. There we are. 568 00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:11,768 - Hello, Gerry, bill. - Wotcha, Joe. 569 00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:14,313 - Pick any winners, did ya? - Nah. 570 00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:15,814 Oh, it's a mug's game, that. 571 00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:18,066 You wanna give it up, mate, save your money. 572 00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:19,735 Hello, sexy. 573 00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:23,071 It's my money. Might as well spend it on that as anything else. 574 00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:25,508 Better than throwing it away on ruddy women all the time, like you. 575 00:30:25,532 --> 00:30:27,284 What are you talking about? I make them pay. 576 00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:28,952 That's the secret, mate. 577 00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:30,829 Sex maniac, that's what you are. 578 00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:32,998 Nah, you're just too old, mate, that's your trouble. 579 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:34,958 Can't get it up any more. 580 00:30:35,042 --> 00:30:36,978 From what I've heard, you can't get yours down, mate. 581 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:38,879 All part of me worldly charm, innit? 582 00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:41,131 Oh, that's what they call it, is it? 583 00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:42,507 What's the matter with you, eh? 584 00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:44,718 You forgotten what it's like? 585 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,470 He thinks he invented sex. 586 00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:49,139 - Hello, Joe. - Hello, dora. 587 00:30:54,311 --> 00:30:56,897 - Haven't seen you for a while. - Been busy, ain't I? 588 00:30:56,938 --> 00:30:58,732 Dora: Two dog rolls, two teas. 589 00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:02,027 The way he carries on, I'm surprised it ain't dropped off by now. 590 00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:03,862 Go on. You're just jealous. 591 00:31:03,987 --> 00:31:07,282 Ah, like hell. You get to my age, you've done it all, ain't ya? 592 00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,242 I get to your age, I'll need to have done. 593 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:11,244 Ah, get lost, mate. 594 00:31:11,328 --> 00:31:14,831 You reckon that's all there is to this job, don't you? Pulling birds. 595 00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:17,209 Joe: And what do you reckon it's all about, then? 596 00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,127 You're all the bloody same. 597 00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:22,089 Out on the road for a couple of years, think you know it all. 598 00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:24,132 - You'll find out. - Yeah? 599 00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:25,926 Dora: How's that dreadful brother of yours? 600 00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,219 What? Peter? 601 00:31:27,260 --> 00:31:28,595 Dreadful. 602 00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:32,391 - What do you fancy, then? - What do you think? 603 00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:34,893 - Give us a dog roll, will you? - One dog roll. 604 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:36,978 He's gonna get done one of these days, 605 00:31:37,062 --> 00:31:38,062 the way he carries on. 606 00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:40,482 More than likely. Still, I shan't be there to see it. 607 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,359 Moved out. Couldn't stand it any longer. 608 00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:43,693 Got me own place now. 609 00:31:43,777 --> 00:31:46,822 - Moved in with Carol, have you? - Not bloody likely. 610 00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:49,533 Yeah? When are you gonna invite me round, then? 611 00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:51,159 Any time you like, darlin'. 612 00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:53,161 Well, I'm free tonight. 613 00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:55,539 Funny you should say that. So am I. 614 00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:57,833 - Pick you up about seven, right? - Right. 615 00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:17,769 Joe, if I let you, you know... 616 00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:20,021 You wouldn't think me cheap, would you? 617 00:32:20,147 --> 00:32:21,273 Cheap? 618 00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:23,150 No, 'course not. 619 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,777 Drinking double gins all evening. 620 00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:29,614 'Course not. It's being emotionally honest. 621 00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:31,116 What could be wrong with that? 622 00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:34,119 Besides, with a fabulous figure like you got, 623 00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:37,664 it'd be criminal to hide it away, now, wouldn't it? 624 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,377 I'll tell you something, 625 00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:44,963 you've got the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. 626 00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:46,923 Have I? 627 00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:50,177 - I have dreams about them. - You don't. Really? 628 00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:02,189 I'll tell you something else, too, 629 00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:03,982 they're even better with nothing on. 630 00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:33,428 Oh, Joe... 631 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,771 Oh, oh... 632 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:50,278 Oh, Joe... 633 00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:54,241 Oh, darling, you're fantastic. 634 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:58,912 But I haven't even got me trousers off yet. 635 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,916 Joe... 636 00:34:28,275 --> 00:34:30,569 What a scene that was last night! 637 00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:33,697 Makes you wonder whether it's all worthwhile, don't it? 638 00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:37,117 Just got to deliver this parcel. Should be fairly straightforward. 639 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:40,370 Well, I don't think I could take any more excitement, not for a while. 640 00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:51,881 Mrs devere barker? 641 00:34:51,965 --> 00:34:53,508 Parcel for you. 642 00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:55,719 Oh. Mmm. 643 00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:57,679 Bring it in, would you? 644 00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:09,274 Oh, if you'd just like to pop it down over there. 645 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,776 I daren't touch it, you see. It's my nails. 646 00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:14,362 - It's your what, love? - Nails. 647 00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:17,657 Tropical green, number three. 648 00:35:17,741 --> 00:35:19,117 Very exotic. 649 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,080 The second they're dry, I'll be able to pay you, 650 00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:23,830 only I just daren't touch anything while they're like this. 651 00:35:23,913 --> 00:35:26,458 No, it's all right, you just stand there and dry off. 652 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:28,293 - I'm in no hurry. - Oh. 653 00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:30,657 You wouldn't like a drink while you're waiting, would you? 654 00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:33,214 No, thanks, I'm driving. But thanks, all the same. 655 00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,925 Oh, not even a cold beer, something like that? 656 00:35:36,009 --> 00:35:37,636 Well, iwouldn't mind a beer, actually. 657 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,347 Oh, do help yourself. 658 00:35:45,352 --> 00:35:47,354 Actually, darling, you couldn't do me 659 00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:50,649 a large campari and soda, could you, while you're there? 660 00:35:50,732 --> 00:35:52,275 Yeah. 661 00:35:53,193 --> 00:35:55,320 - A large one? - Yes, please. 662 00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,533 - Say when. - I never do. 663 00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:11,086 Oh, be an angel, would you, and just slip it between my lips? 664 00:36:11,211 --> 00:36:13,546 Oh, the glass. Yes, of course. 665 00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,217 Mmm. 666 00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:19,969 Sorry to put you to all this inconvenience. 667 00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:21,096 Don't mention it. 668 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:24,557 It's just I always seem to get caught out when someone arrives. 669 00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:27,811 Yesterday, it was the television repairman. 670 00:36:27,936 --> 00:36:29,562 The day before, it was the plumber, 671 00:36:29,646 --> 00:36:32,857 and, as for the window cleaner, well, every time he comes now, 672 00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:36,194 - I seem to be in the bath. - I see. 673 00:36:36,403 --> 00:36:39,280 Oh, you wouldn't be an angel, would you, and... 674 00:36:39,572 --> 00:36:41,032 Undo it for me? 675 00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:42,951 Mmm. 676 00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:45,161 It's for a dinner tonight. 677 00:36:45,245 --> 00:36:46,830 My husband's in cement. 678 00:36:46,913 --> 00:36:48,915 Oh? Must be uncomfortable for him. 679 00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:53,044 It's a presentation dinner, you see, so I thought I'd wear green 680 00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:55,296 to go with my nail varnish. 681 00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:56,756 - Very nice. - Mmm. 682 00:36:58,007 --> 00:37:01,720 Seems to be all right now. You're not in a rush, are you? 683 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:05,807 It's just I'd like to try it on to make sure it fits. 684 00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:09,060 - No, no, of course not. - Oh. Good. 685 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:18,111 Some gaff this, innit? 686 00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:19,946 Must cost a packet. 687 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,948 I bet she does, and all. 688 00:37:22,615 --> 00:37:26,619 Make yourself at home, won't you? I shan't be long. 689 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,329 What about her, then? 690 00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,123 Bit of all right. 691 00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:35,211 "Shan't be long. My husband's in cement." Bloody hell. 692 00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:49,642 Have you lost something? 693 00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:51,644 Balls. 694 00:37:51,728 --> 00:37:53,897 Er... they fell off. 695 00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:56,816 Oh. Never mind. 696 00:37:57,442 --> 00:37:59,652 You couldn't give me a hand with the zip, could you? 697 00:37:59,736 --> 00:38:03,364 It seems to be stuck, and I don't want to break a nail on it. 698 00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:05,492 These birds and their zips. 699 00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:08,536 Jesus. 700 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:10,246 It's a bit stiff. 701 00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:13,500 It won't be the only thing if she carries on like this. 702 00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:16,920 Yeah, I see what you mean. It is stuck, isn't it? 703 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:18,630 Maybe if you pull it? 704 00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:21,049 That had crossed my mind. 705 00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:23,343 - Have you done it? - Yeah, I think so. 706 00:38:23,468 --> 00:38:25,804 Oh. Seems a bit loose. 707 00:38:25,887 --> 00:38:28,056 Oh. Look at that. Just look at it. 708 00:38:28,097 --> 00:38:30,391 That's just so typical of today's workmanship. 709 00:38:30,475 --> 00:38:33,228 That's the last dress I shall buy from there. 710 00:38:34,062 --> 00:38:35,730 Yeah, disgraceful. 711 00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:37,649 Now, what shall I do? 712 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:47,283 Well, it was the only thing I could think of, wasn't it? 713 00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:44,257 Another satisfied customer. 714 00:39:44,340 --> 00:39:46,634 And the dress did fit, after all. 715 00:39:47,302 --> 00:39:48,636 Six pou... 716 00:39:49,596 --> 00:39:52,599 I suppose I can't really ask her for me fare now. 717 00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:16,372 I promised that Nikki I'd pick her up from the club. 718 00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:19,834 Mustn't be late, in case she sets that snake on to me. 719 00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:22,003 This is the one, I think. 720 00:40:46,653 --> 00:40:48,154 How about it, then, guv? 721 00:40:48,237 --> 00:40:50,782 Twelve beautiful girls, do everything. 722 00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:53,660 All naked and they dance. 723 00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:56,537 - Hey, where do you think you're going? - Inside. 724 00:40:56,579 --> 00:40:58,081 Not without paying, you're not. 725 00:40:58,164 --> 00:40:59,804 Oh, I'm not goin' in, not to see the show. 726 00:40:59,832 --> 00:41:01,709 I'm just pickin' up Nikki, that's all. 727 00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:03,628 Yeah. You and a few others. 728 00:41:03,711 --> 00:41:06,965 No, honest. I'm a cab driver. Look, me cab's just outside. 729 00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:09,050 Nah, could be anyone's. 730 00:41:09,175 --> 00:41:11,779 Look, if you think you're gonna gain admittance here without paying, 731 00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:12,947 you've got another think coming to ya. 732 00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:15,223 I'm telling you, I'm only here to collect Nikki. 733 00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:18,285 I mean, do us a favour, mate. I'll give you me licence number if you like. 734 00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:19,852 You can check it. 735 00:41:19,936 --> 00:41:22,772 I know all the taxi drivers round here, mate. I don't know yourface. 736 00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:24,792 Well, that's 'cause I don't normally do this patch. 737 00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:28,778 I'm only here to collect Nikki. I live in the same flat as her, see? 738 00:41:30,113 --> 00:41:33,116 You're not the one who went to bed with monty? 739 00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:35,618 Oh, god! 740 00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:39,706 What, by accident, was it? Or did you need the help? 741 00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:42,583 Go on. Get down. 742 00:41:58,683 --> 00:41:59,934 Sorry, mate. 743 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:33,676 Joe, would you mind hangin' on just a minute? 744 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,428 I've just gotta nip back and get monty. 745 00:42:35,511 --> 00:42:37,138 - No rush. - Okay. 746 00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:14,967 - Okay? - W hat? 747 00:43:15,051 --> 00:43:16,594 You comin' or not? 748 00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:18,930 Well, if you're not quite ready, I don't mind. 749 00:43:27,313 --> 00:43:29,816 - That's Helga. - Oh? 750 00:43:30,775 --> 00:43:35,071 You can put your eyeballs back in. I've invited her for supper tonight. 751 00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:36,906 Foreign, is she? 752 00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:40,743 She's a nun from scunthorpe. 753 00:43:40,868 --> 00:43:42,161 Come on. 754 00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:49,794 - That was lovely, Nikki. - Mmm. 755 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,420 Oh, it was nothing special. 756 00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,089 Oh, I enjoyed it. 757 00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:54,549 Now, what? 758 00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:56,151 Oh, I've got some yoghurt in the fridge. 759 00:43:56,175 --> 00:43:58,469 - No, I meant what shall we do now? - You decide. 760 00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:01,139 Why don't we play a game? Hmm? 761 00:44:01,222 --> 00:44:02,890 What about strip poker? 762 00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:10,022 Oh, come on, it might be fun. What do you say, Tom? 763 00:44:10,148 --> 00:44:11,899 No. He doesn't want to play. 764 00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:14,068 Oh, come on. Just for a giggle. 765 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:17,989 - Got any cards? - Cards? Er... no. 766 00:44:19,782 --> 00:44:23,077 Well, how about spinning the bottle instead? Hmm? 767 00:44:25,872 --> 00:44:27,039 Okay. 768 00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:31,460 Well, I think I'll read my book. 769 00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:35,162 We could always play strip ouija board, if you'd prefer? 770 00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:37,592 Ouija board? What ouija board? 771 00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:39,886 No, let's spin the bottle. 772 00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:11,352 Um... I'll get it. 773 00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:21,862 Where's Joe? I came to see him. 774 00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:24,365 Oh. Er... he's not in. He's out. 775 00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:26,617 No. His taxi's here. 776 00:46:26,659 --> 00:46:28,911 It's all right. He is expecting me. 777 00:46:37,295 --> 00:46:39,130 Hello. I'm Carol. 778 00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:41,590 Carol hotchkiss. Joe's fiancée. 779 00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:45,553 I expect he's spoken of me. Which is his room? That one? 780 00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:47,513 Thank you, dear. 781 00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:56,022 Carol! Listen, I can explain. 782 00:47:02,361 --> 00:47:05,906 It's the third house along, on the right. Number 42. 783 00:47:06,032 --> 00:47:07,700 Joe: Right you are. 784 00:47:08,367 --> 00:47:09,660 Do you want a hand with those? 785 00:47:09,785 --> 00:47:11,787 Would you? Oh, thank you. 786 00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:37,021 You can just put them down here. 787 00:47:37,188 --> 00:47:39,291 Joe: Oh, that's all right. I don't mind carrying them in for ya. 788 00:47:39,315 --> 00:47:41,359 That's very kind of you. 789 00:47:49,408 --> 00:47:52,119 - I can't find my key. - Are you sure? 790 00:47:52,203 --> 00:47:54,538 Perhaps it's in your bag, loose? 791 00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:55,956 I'll try. 792 00:48:02,963 --> 00:48:04,423 It's not there. 793 00:48:05,841 --> 00:48:08,511 - What about pockets? - I haven't got any. 794 00:48:08,969 --> 00:48:10,429 What am I going to do? 795 00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:13,391 Perhaps you could go to a neighbour's till your husband gets home. 796 00:48:13,474 --> 00:48:17,395 He's away. On a business trip. I can't even get hold of him. 797 00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:19,688 Don't you have a spare somewhere? 798 00:48:19,772 --> 00:48:21,315 - Yes, of course. - Oh, well, then. 799 00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:22,733 It's inside. 800 00:48:22,817 --> 00:48:25,361 I thought you might have one under a flower pot or something. 801 00:48:25,444 --> 00:48:27,405 Harold, that's my husband, 802 00:48:27,488 --> 00:48:29,990 Harold's nervous about burglars getting in. 803 00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:32,576 All very well, but how do [get in? 804 00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:35,037 I could try to climb in, isuppose. 805 00:48:35,121 --> 00:48:37,790 But you'll have to help me. You will, won't you? 806 00:48:38,666 --> 00:48:41,043 Icantleave a lady in distress, can I? 807 00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:45,256 Let's see if there's a window open somewhere. 808 00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:47,216 Oh, there won't be one of those. 809 00:49:37,516 --> 00:49:39,018 Thank you. 810 00:49:41,270 --> 00:49:43,230 You will be careful, won't you? 811 00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:45,357 Safe as houses, darlin'. 812 00:49:56,285 --> 00:49:57,953 Are you all right? 813 00:49:58,871 --> 00:49:59,997 What's happened? 814 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:01,832 Are you all right? 815 00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:04,835 Say something, please. 816 00:50:06,837 --> 00:50:08,756 What's happening up there? 817 00:50:12,218 --> 00:50:13,969 I didn't know what had happened to you. 818 00:50:14,053 --> 00:50:16,430 I called and called, but you didn't answer. 819 00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,183 - Are you all right? - Yeah, I think so. 820 00:50:19,308 --> 00:50:21,519 Look, you go down and I'll open the front door. 821 00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:24,146 I can't. I'm stuck. 822 00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,690 What do you mean, stuck? Just go back down the way you came. 823 00:50:26,774 --> 00:50:28,943 I can't. I daren't look down. 824 00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:31,070 I'll fall. I'm frightened of heights. 825 00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:32,571 Look, it's quite simple. 826 00:50:32,655 --> 00:50:35,032 If you can't go down, you'd better come on up. 827 00:50:35,115 --> 00:50:36,659 I can't move. I'm scared. 828 00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:39,036 All right, then, go back down the way you came. 829 00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:40,746 Help me. 830 00:50:40,996 --> 00:50:42,498 All right. Now, don't panic. 831 00:50:42,623 --> 00:50:45,376 You're quite safe. Just do as I say. Okay? 832 00:50:45,417 --> 00:50:48,212 Now, put one hand on the next rung up. 833 00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:49,380 Go on, one more. 834 00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:51,382 Now the other one. 835 00:50:51,507 --> 00:50:52,841 Keep going. You're okay. 836 00:50:52,925 --> 00:50:56,637 I'm watchin' ya. Up a bit. No, down, just a little. 837 00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:57,763 Now, in. 838 00:50:57,846 --> 00:50:59,682 Towards the wall, that's it. 839 00:50:59,765 --> 00:51:01,976 Go on, you're doing fine. Come on. 840 00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:05,854 It's all right, you're nearly there. 841 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:08,190 That's it. Now, give me your hand. 842 00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:09,316 Lovely. 843 00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,861 - I can't put my feet... - Oh, you're doing wonderful. 844 00:51:13,821 --> 00:51:16,782 There ya 90. You're there 845 00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:21,161 - through the window... - Oh. Oh. 846 00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:23,956 Oh! Oh, you're all wet. 847 00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:27,126 I should have warned you. 848 00:51:27,209 --> 00:51:29,587 - Oh, I'm sorry. I completely forgot. - Yeah, well. 849 00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:31,314 And, of course, that's why I left the window open, 850 00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:33,007 to let the smell of paint out. 851 00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:35,134 Oh, and look at your clothes. 852 00:51:35,217 --> 00:51:36,927 They're covered in it. 853 00:51:37,011 --> 00:51:38,530 Oh, you have to let me wash them for you. 854 00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:39,614 You can't go out like that. 855 00:51:39,638 --> 00:51:41,640 Oh, well, that's, er... Very nice of you to offer. 856 00:51:41,724 --> 00:51:43,785 Well, I think the least I can do is clean your clothes 857 00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:46,186 and give you a bath, don't you? 858 00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:54,486 I do like huge bubbly ones, don't you? 859 00:51:54,570 --> 00:51:55,738 Yeah. 860 00:51:56,905 --> 00:51:58,699 That's about right, now. 861 00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:03,537 - Oh, I can't wait to get in. - Neither can I. 862 00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:06,373 Bubbles make me go all tingly all over. 863 00:52:06,707 --> 00:52:08,417 You as well? 864 00:52:13,922 --> 00:52:17,426 Ooh, it feels all lovely. All tingly. 865 00:52:17,509 --> 00:52:18,969 What a way to go! 866 00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:33,442 Marion? 867 00:52:53,837 --> 00:52:55,506 Marion! 868 00:53:01,345 --> 00:53:03,639 Marion, where are you? 869 00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:06,100 - Hide! - Marion, you in the bath? 870 00:53:07,059 --> 00:53:09,186 Ah, there you are. Didn't you hear me shouting? 871 00:53:09,269 --> 00:53:13,107 Oh, darling, what a lovely surprise. I wasn't expecting you. 872 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:15,734 Harold: What a complete shambles. The whole trip. 873 00:53:15,818 --> 00:53:18,278 Oh, you poor love. Why don't you go downstairs, 874 00:53:18,362 --> 00:53:20,698 put your feet up, and pour yourself out a nice long drink, 875 00:53:20,781 --> 00:53:23,158 and I'll join you, and you can tell me all about it. 876 00:53:23,283 --> 00:53:24,785 Well, there's nothing to tell. 877 00:53:24,868 --> 00:53:27,496 The entire fiasco was predictable from start to finish, 878 00:53:27,621 --> 00:53:29,057 and you know who's responsible, don't you? 879 00:53:29,081 --> 00:53:32,251 - Well, I told 'em, I warned 'em. - Yes, you did. 880 00:53:32,418 --> 00:53:34,753 "You put Peters in as acting managing director, 881 00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:37,548 "and you've got nothing but trouble on your hands," I said. 882 00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:40,342 "He can't cope with responsibility, 883 00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:42,261 "he's got no initiative, 884 00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:44,138 "runs a Ford anglia, and doesn't play golf. 885 00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:45,889 "You Mark my words." 886 00:53:46,014 --> 00:53:48,225 Well, I've been proved right yet again. 887 00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,269 Oh, that's wonderful. 888 00:53:50,352 --> 00:53:51,912 Now, why don't you just go downstairs... 889 00:53:51,937 --> 00:53:53,439 Harold: "Wonderful"? 890 00:53:53,522 --> 00:53:56,275 It's frustrating. Well, it's... it's insulting. 891 00:53:56,358 --> 00:53:58,235 Oh, I quite agree. 892 00:53:58,318 --> 00:54:00,118 Now, why don't you just let me finish my bath, 893 00:54:00,195 --> 00:54:02,197 and I'll be straight with you? 894 00:54:02,948 --> 00:54:05,325 Yes, I... I could do with a drink. 895 00:54:09,079 --> 00:54:10,748 - What was that? - Nothing. 896 00:54:10,831 --> 00:54:12,875 Just knocked the plug, that's all. 897 00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:18,881 Oh, darling, um... Can I get you anything? 898 00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:20,299 - What? - To drink. 899 00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:23,761 - No, just go downstairs and I'll be... - Marion, is it really necessary 900 00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:26,305 to use all that much bubble bath? 901 00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:29,242 You only bought this last week and you've already finished it. 902 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:31,685 You really must be more careful in future. 903 00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:34,146 I can't afford extravagance of this sort. 904 00:54:34,229 --> 00:54:37,065 I mean, how you expect me to raise your housekeeping allowance 905 00:54:37,149 --> 00:54:41,195 in the face of such flagrant wastage, I really don't know. 906 00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:43,697 Really must pull yourself together, you know. 907 00:54:43,739 --> 00:54:45,741 You're getting very careless lately. 908 00:54:45,908 --> 00:54:48,702 Won't do, you know. No, won't do. 909 00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:51,580 It's all right. 910 00:54:53,081 --> 00:54:54,750 Marion, I meant to ask you, 911 00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:57,252 what on earth have you been doing in the bedroom? 912 00:54:57,377 --> 00:55:00,214 There's paint all over the place. It's a terrible mess. 913 00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:03,258 It's the decorators. It was meant to be a surprise. 914 00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:07,054 Surprise? I should think the only surprise I'd get would be the bill. 915 00:55:07,137 --> 00:55:09,257 Don't suppose you've thought to get an estimate first? 916 00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:13,268 - Oh, Harold... - Never mind. Don't upset yourself. 917 00:55:13,352 --> 00:55:16,063 I mean... no, I expect you... 918 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,982 You meant well, yes, like Peters. 919 00:55:19,107 --> 00:55:21,777 He meant well, I expect, incompetent clodhopper. 920 00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:23,737 But the board, listen? Would they listen? 921 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:27,032 Please, Harold, the water's getting cold. 922 00:55:27,115 --> 00:55:29,576 Oh. Ah. Yes. Well, er... 923 00:55:29,868 --> 00:55:32,120 Yes, well, you have your bath and, um... 924 00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:34,540 Don't you worry about a thing. 925 00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:37,167 No, it was a... A lovely surprise 926 00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:39,586 to find paint all over the bedroom. 927 00:55:40,045 --> 00:55:42,297 Yes, I think I do need a drink. 928 00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:45,300 It's all right now. It's all right now. 929 00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:47,427 Come on, quick! 930 00:55:56,770 --> 00:56:00,357 Harold: I brought you a drink, darling. I thought you might like one. 931 00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:03,819 Oh, you mustn't stand about like that, not with the window open. 932 00:56:03,902 --> 00:56:06,697 Oh, no, no. Catch your death. 933 00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:13,805 Sorry, mate, I'm not, um... 934 00:57:13,889 --> 00:57:15,807 St Mary's convent, upton road. 935 00:57:15,891 --> 00:57:17,434 Yeah, but... 936 00:57:29,988 --> 00:57:31,531 Of all the rotten luck. 937 00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:33,575 Anyone else but a nun. 938 00:57:33,617 --> 00:57:36,912 I couldn't very well tell her to eff off, now, could I? 939 00:57:46,922 --> 00:57:50,258 I wonder if I could trouble you to help me with my cases? 940 00:58:37,347 --> 00:58:38,890 Oh, I thought I heard you come in. 941 00:58:39,016 --> 00:58:41,143 It's costin' me a bloody fortune in jeans, this job. 942 00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,687 - How come? - I keep losin' 'em. 943 00:58:43,770 --> 00:58:45,999 Oh, by the way, your brother phoned up while you were out. 944 00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:47,524 - What, Peter? - Yeah. 945 00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:49,877 He said something about having a whole lot of television sets. 946 00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:52,696 - Did we need one? - Bloody hell! 947 00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:54,614 Why? What's the matter? 948 00:58:54,656 --> 00:58:57,159 Look, if he phones up again, tell him, er... 949 00:58:57,242 --> 00:58:59,578 I don't know, tell him I've left the country, anything. 950 00:58:59,661 --> 00:59:01,180 Why? You don't want to speak to him, then? 951 00:59:01,204 --> 00:59:02,914 Not if I can avoid it. 952 00:59:02,998 --> 00:59:04,434 I've got enough problems in me own life 953 00:59:04,458 --> 00:59:06,960 without getting lumbered with him and his thieving. 954 00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:08,938 I may, er... get into a few scrapes now and again, 955 00:59:08,962 --> 00:59:11,082 but that's one thing I've always stayed well clear of, 956 00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:12,674 crime and all that. 957 00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:37,282 You know what this is, buddy? It's a gun. 958 00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:42,662 Just keep your mouth shut. 959 00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:44,388 Do as you're told and you won't get hurt. 960 00:59:44,414 --> 00:59:47,501 - Yeah, but... - I said, "shut up and get going!" 961 00:59:48,210 --> 00:59:52,506 Now, make one wrong move, and you're dead. Understand? 962 00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:56,843 Just stick to the driving, keep your eyes on the road, 963 00:59:56,968 --> 00:59:59,721 and you and me'll get along just fine. 964 00:59:59,805 --> 01:00:03,725 Now, drive south, and no funny business. 965 01:00:03,809 --> 01:00:05,685 I know this town like I know my own face. 966 01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:07,997 If you ask me, we should have rubbed her out there and then. 967 01:00:08,021 --> 01:00:09,648 Don't get no troubles with a stiff. 968 01:00:09,731 --> 01:00:12,067 Nobody's askin' ya, so shut up! 969 01:00:12,234 --> 01:00:14,152 Supposin' her old man wants to talk to her? 970 01:00:14,236 --> 01:00:17,739 Ain't nobody going to pay no ransom for a stiff, dumb-head. 971 01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:21,451 We got to keep her alive to get the dough. Do you get it? 972 01:00:21,535 --> 01:00:22,911 Yeah. 973 01:00:22,994 --> 01:00:25,634 Yeah, but she's already seen us, so why bother with all this stuff? 974 01:00:25,789 --> 01:00:27,457 So when we call up her old man, 975 01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:29,417 you want her to tell him where we stashed her? 976 01:00:29,501 --> 01:00:32,045 Oh, get it through that thick skull of yours, dumb-head. 977 01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:35,465 What she don't know, she can't tell. Okay? 978 01:00:36,299 --> 01:00:37,717 Then we rub her out. 979 01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:40,554 Just stick to the road, pal, like I told ya. 980 01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:43,515 - Why don't we rub her out? - Shut that moron up, will ya? 981 01:00:43,598 --> 01:00:45,642 Do a right... now! 982 01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:52,482 Listen, birdbrain, we don't snuff her unless there's no other way. 983 01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,025 What if something goes wrong? 984 01:00:54,109 --> 01:00:56,403 So long as you follow orders, nothing will. 985 01:00:56,486 --> 01:00:58,697 Now, take the next turning on the left. 986 01:00:58,780 --> 01:01:01,533 And keep it real cool and steady. 987 01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:05,120 I am gonna do something. Soon as I get the chance. 988 01:01:05,245 --> 01:01:07,325 Bit difficult with a gun pointing at my head, though. 989 01:01:12,836 --> 01:01:16,047 Okay, buddy, turn left, through those gates. 990 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:24,931 Keep goin'. 991 01:01:28,059 --> 01:01:29,644 Fudhen 992 01:01:29,728 --> 01:01:31,897 ah, that's it. Now, pull up! 993 01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:36,067 Get that broad out of the cab. 994 01:01:36,151 --> 01:01:38,153 Here, didn't we ought to rub him out, too? 995 01:01:38,236 --> 01:01:40,697 I mean, what's to stop him shooting his mouth off? 996 01:01:40,822 --> 01:01:44,951 Okay, buddy. Out of the cab. Nice and easy, now. 997 01:01:45,493 --> 01:01:47,787 No sudden moves, or this baby goes off. 998 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:52,459 All right, buddy. Out of the cab. Now, keep it cool. 999 01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:55,837 Put your hands on your head. Now, turn around. 1000 01:01:55,921 --> 01:01:57,380 Come on, turn around! 1001 01:01:57,505 --> 01:01:59,674 Now, get movin'. Turn around. 1002 01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:14,814 Get up. 1003 01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:29,496 Come on, hands against the wall. 1004 01:02:37,337 --> 01:02:39,339 Look. Come on, you can relax now. 1005 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:41,925 Look at him, he fell for it! 1006 01:02:42,592 --> 01:02:44,970 I don't believe it! Look at his face. 1007 01:02:46,805 --> 01:02:50,058 I'm sorry if we scared ya. The whole thing was a joke. 1008 01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:51,434 Everything. 1009 01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:53,853 You see, we were at this party... 1010 01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:55,272 And someone suggested 1011 01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:56,958 that we wouldn't dare try it in the street. 1012 01:02:56,982 --> 01:02:58,858 And that no cabbie would believe it. 1013 01:02:58,942 --> 01:03:00,902 So they bet us twenty quid to do it. 1014 01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:03,238 - No hard feelings? - No hard feelings? 1015 01:03:03,321 --> 01:03:06,199 I've been losin' fares while you've been doing all this. 1016 01:03:11,121 --> 01:03:13,081 Oh, don't forget to get the paper signed. 1017 01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:15,041 Oh, yes. I almost forgot about that. 1018 01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:18,211 We had to bring back some kind of proof that we actually did it. 1019 01:03:18,295 --> 01:03:21,506 Look, do you think you'd mind signing your name to this bit of paper? 1020 01:03:21,589 --> 01:03:24,926 And, if you could add your cab number, that would be great. 1021 01:03:33,351 --> 01:03:34,686 Thanks, mate. 1022 01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:47,198 Male singer: J“ oh, yeah! 1023 01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:50,577 J“ I can see 1024 01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:53,663 j“ ain't much use in bein' out 1025 01:03:53,747 --> 01:03:55,582 j“ bein' so good 1026 01:03:55,915 --> 01:03:58,001 j“ I'm free 1027 01:03:58,793 --> 01:04:00,920 j“ ain't no love gonna knock me 1028 01:04:01,004 --> 01:04:02,922 j“ out of my wood 1029 01:04:04,799 --> 01:04:06,885 j“ I can stay 1030 01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:10,472 j“ all you gotta say now 1031 01:04:10,555 --> 01:04:12,515 j“ tonight 1032 01:04:13,224 --> 01:04:16,686 j“ we're gonna have a good time 1033 01:04:16,978 --> 01:04:20,857 j“ we're gonna have a good time 1034 01:04:21,399 --> 01:04:23,485 j“ it's true 1035 01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:25,987 j“ 'cause this roof is gonna leak 1036 01:04:26,154 --> 01:04:28,406 j“ get me down off this roof 1037 01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:30,825 j“ it's a lie 1038 01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:33,119 j“ I just can't live 1039 01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:36,122 j“ right up in the sky now 1040 01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:39,667 j“ I wanna say 1041 01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:43,296 j“ to everyone here today 1042 01:04:43,338 --> 01:04:44,964 j“ it's true 1043 01:04:46,132 --> 01:04:49,761 j“ we're gonna have a good time 1044 01:04:49,844 --> 01:04:53,181 j“ we're gonna have a good time j“ 1045 01:04:57,310 --> 01:04:59,687 - hello, maisie. - Hello, Joe. 1046 01:05:00,688 --> 01:05:04,067 Well, come on, love. Don't be nervous, I won't bite it off. 1047 01:05:07,946 --> 01:05:09,739 - Where to, darlin'? - Oh, the usual, love. 1048 01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,584 - What, round the block? - Yeah, that'll do. 1049 01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:13,844 Just keep on drivin'. I'll give you a yell when I'm finished. 1050 01:05:13,868 --> 01:05:16,388 - Right! - Here, you heard about glenda, didn't you? 1051 01:05:17,497 --> 01:05:19,874 Oh, sorry, love. Be with you in a minute. 1052 01:05:19,958 --> 01:05:21,793 - Glenda? - Yeah. 1053 01:05:21,876 --> 01:05:23,878 She married an arab she picked up. 1054 01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:27,298 - I thought I hadn't seen her around. - Yeah. An arab. 1055 01:05:27,382 --> 01:05:29,676 - With oil Wells and everything. - No! 1056 01:05:29,759 --> 01:05:33,138 Mind you, it was only a matter of time before she hooked some old geezer. 1057 01:05:33,221 --> 01:05:35,116 Joe: Funny, I'd never have thought that about her. 1058 01:05:35,140 --> 01:05:36,450 - Maisie: What, getting married? - Joe: Yeah. 1059 01:05:36,474 --> 01:05:38,017 What, glenda? You're joking. 1060 01:05:38,101 --> 01:05:41,062 Every time she opened her mouth a wedding bell popped out. 1061 01:05:43,356 --> 01:05:44,691 So how's business with you? 1062 01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:48,027 Oh, well, it's quietened down a bit now the tourist season's over, 1063 01:05:48,111 --> 01:05:50,697 but I don't do so bad. 1064 01:05:50,738 --> 01:05:53,700 Tell you what, love, you get it out and start practising, 1065 01:05:53,825 --> 01:05:55,660 and I'll join you in a minute. 1066 01:05:55,785 --> 01:05:58,496 Here, Joe, could I have this one on credit? 1067 01:05:58,538 --> 01:06:00,748 You know, I've just had the electricity bill in... 1068 01:06:00,832 --> 01:06:02,208 Yeah, that's okay. 1069 01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:05,587 Oh, you are lovely. I'll make it up next time, I promise. 1070 01:06:05,712 --> 01:06:08,256 Nah, don't worry about it. It's my pleasure. 1071 01:06:08,298 --> 01:06:10,925 I'll tell you what, I didn't half get a fright the other week. 1072 01:06:11,009 --> 01:06:13,136 I thought I'd caught a dose, didn't I? 1073 01:06:13,219 --> 01:06:18,224 All right. Don't worry. You have a very nasty cough there. 1074 01:06:18,308 --> 01:06:21,561 You should get it seen to. It might be serious. 1075 01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:23,706 That's the fourth one I've had this week with a cold. 1076 01:06:23,730 --> 01:06:26,065 I only hope to god I don't go down with it. 1077 01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:27,317 That's my trouble, you know. 1078 01:06:27,442 --> 01:06:29,861 Anything that's goin' the rounds, I seem to pick up. 1079 01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:31,571 Yeah, I had noticed. 1080 01:06:31,654 --> 01:06:33,990 Anyway, love, can't sit here chatting all day. 1081 01:06:34,073 --> 01:06:36,075 I've got to get back to work. 1082 01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:51,716 Ah! 1083 01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:54,719 Oh, my god. 1084 01:07:28,670 --> 01:07:31,464 Something tells me this could be my lucky night. 1085 01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:34,676 - Number 24, you said? - Twenty-four. Yes. 1086 01:07:35,051 --> 01:07:37,262 Oh, a right little sex bomb, this one. 1087 01:07:37,387 --> 01:07:39,722 I mean, you can tell from that voice, can't ya, eh? 1088 01:07:39,806 --> 01:07:42,350 All husky and sexy. 1089 01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:45,895 I reckon this one'll need the smooth, suave James Bond type chat-up. 1090 01:07:46,187 --> 01:07:47,939 You, er... 1091 01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:50,108 You in the movies, then? 1092 01:07:50,233 --> 01:07:51,526 Sorry? 1093 01:07:51,609 --> 01:07:54,737 No, it's just that I thought I recognised your face from somewhere. 1094 01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:58,116 I'd swear I'd seen you on the telly or the pictures, somewhere like that. 1095 01:07:58,199 --> 01:08:00,201 - Possibly. - I knew it. 1096 01:08:00,285 --> 01:08:05,081 I knew you were in show business. Are you famous, then? 1097 01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:08,751 Well, if I was, you'd know who I am, wouldn't you? 1098 01:08:08,835 --> 01:08:10,169 Yeah, well, I do. It's just that 1099 01:08:10,253 --> 01:08:12,672 your name escapes me for the moment. That's all. 1100 01:08:12,797 --> 01:08:14,007 Bunny McQueen. 1101 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:18,720 Bunny McQueen! Of course. How could I ever forget that? 1102 01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:22,056 Bunny McQueen? Oh, I get it. 1103 01:08:22,140 --> 01:08:24,976 "Bunny." must work at that playboy club. 1104 01:08:25,059 --> 01:08:27,020 One of those birds with long, floppy ears, 1105 01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:28,980 all dressed up like rabbits. 1106 01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:32,317 Yeah, probably been in that playboy magazine. 1107 01:08:32,442 --> 01:08:35,737 You know, playmate of the month? 1108 01:08:36,154 --> 01:08:39,490 I bet if! Looked, I'd find a picture of you on Tom's garage wall. 1109 01:08:39,574 --> 01:08:42,452 - Who's Tom? - Oh, he's a guy I live with. 1110 01:08:42,535 --> 01:08:44,829 - Oh, is he nice? - Yeah, he's all right. 1111 01:08:44,912 --> 01:08:47,582 He's not as nice as you, though. 1112 01:08:47,999 --> 01:08:50,001 She fancies me, don't she? 1113 01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:52,670 Oh, I'm in here if I play me cards right. 1114 01:09:03,056 --> 01:09:06,309 Make yourself at home. 1115 01:09:11,731 --> 01:09:14,025 Sit down. Relax. 1116 01:09:14,359 --> 01:09:18,071 I should sit over there if I were you. It's more comfortable. 1117 01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:24,327 I'll just, er... get the wine. 1118 01:09:26,537 --> 01:09:31,250 - There we are. - Well, here we are, then. 1119 01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:34,295 - Have you been together long? - What? 1120 01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:37,757 - This boy you live with. - Oh, Tom. No, just a few weeks. 1121 01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:39,902 Well, we've known each other for a couple of years now. 1122 01:09:39,926 --> 01:09:41,846 But we've only been living together a short time. 1123 01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:45,264 Well, he's not going to getjealous, if he comes back and finds me here? 1124 01:09:45,348 --> 01:09:48,935 No, probably fancy you himself. 1125 01:09:49,644 --> 01:09:51,187 Oh, let me. 1126 01:09:55,233 --> 01:09:57,068 Oh, must need a new flint. 1127 01:09:57,151 --> 01:09:59,570 Hang on, I've got some matches somewhere. 1128 01:10:06,119 --> 01:10:08,079 Sorry about that. 1129 01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:23,028 I think that's a really great outfit you're wearin'. 1130 01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:26,973 Oh, do you like it? I design all my own clothes. 1131 01:10:27,056 --> 01:10:29,016 Yeah, well, it looks terrific. 1132 01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:31,102 I suppose I shouldn't really be wearing it now, 1133 01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:33,354 but after I finish work I just want to get away. 1134 01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:35,356 I can't be bothered to change. 1135 01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:38,067 Oh, no, you mustn't change. I mean, you look great as you are. 1136 01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:42,822 A real turn-on. Honest. It's a tough one, this. 1137 01:10:43,448 --> 01:10:44,741 Oh, do you want me to do it? 1138 01:10:44,866 --> 01:10:47,535 No, no. It's all right. I'll get it out in a minute. 1139 01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:49,370 Come on. Why don't you let me try? 1140 01:10:49,454 --> 01:10:51,873 No, you'll never do it. 1141 01:10:55,376 --> 01:10:58,796 - Have you got the glasses ready? - What? Oh, yeah. 1142 01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:05,136 Sorry, we're a bit, er... Short on glasses. 1143 01:11:10,683 --> 01:11:13,186 Well, this is very nice. 1144 01:11:13,936 --> 01:11:16,230 Thank you. 1145 01:11:16,647 --> 01:11:18,733 I think you're very nice. 1146 01:11:18,816 --> 01:11:20,359 You, er... 1147 01:11:20,443 --> 01:11:21,694 Comfortable, are you? 1148 01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:23,780 Mmm. Thank you. 1149 01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:26,324 I think you're really something. 1150 01:11:26,407 --> 01:11:27,742 Really, I do. 1151 01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:32,330 I hope you won't mind if I say this, but, er... 1152 01:11:33,039 --> 01:11:36,167 I think you've got the most beautifully-shaped breasts I've ever seen. 1153 01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:40,505 - Really beautiful. - Yes. Yes, they're much better now. 1154 01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:42,673 Mind you, they cost me a fortune. 1155 01:11:42,757 --> 01:11:47,595 So, um... why don't we give them a little air to breathe, eh? 1156 01:11:52,225 --> 01:11:54,435 You've got lovely legs and all. 1157 01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:55,645 Really lovely. 1158 01:11:55,728 --> 01:11:57,939 Bunny: I have to shave them, of course. 1159 01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:02,151 Bloody hell! 1160 01:12:02,235 --> 01:12:04,153 - What's the matter? - You! 1161 01:12:04,278 --> 01:12:06,656 - You're a fella! - But of course I am. 1162 01:12:06,739 --> 01:12:09,116 What did you think I was? 1163 01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:12,036 Wonder if I could have him under the trades descriptions act? 1164 01:12:55,079 --> 01:12:57,290 - Christ almighty! - Get going, mister, fast. 1165 01:12:57,415 --> 01:13:00,042 - Where to? - Never mind now, just drive. 1166 01:13:00,126 --> 01:13:01,669 Help! Help, I've been robbed! 1167 01:13:07,758 --> 01:13:10,761 Must have gone to the same party. Still, tenner a time, I should care. 1168 01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:13,014 - I'll play the game. - Look, can't you go any faster? 1169 01:13:13,055 --> 01:13:15,701 I'm doing my best, guv, but watch out for the law. I don't want to get done. 1170 01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:17,605 Yeah, we'll take care of that. Just drive. Left. 1171 01:13:18,769 --> 01:13:21,731 Christ almighty, you might give me some warning. 1172 01:13:21,814 --> 01:13:24,334 Police radio: All cars, all cars west. A robbery in praed street. 1173 01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:26,861 Your attention is called to a black London taxi, 1174 01:13:26,986 --> 01:13:30,573 believed to contain suspects. Roger 1505, thank you, over. 1175 01:13:30,656 --> 01:13:32,450 What do we do, stop them all? 1176 01:13:33,034 --> 01:13:34,577 Turn right. Just where that Van is. 1177 01:13:34,660 --> 01:13:36,597 Wouldn't it be easier if you told me where we're making for? 1178 01:13:36,621 --> 01:13:38,432 I mean, we're gonna have an accident at this rate. 1179 01:13:38,456 --> 01:13:40,041 Look, I'm givin' the orders round here, 1180 01:13:40,124 --> 01:13:42,376 so shut up and keep drivin'. 1181 01:13:42,835 --> 01:13:44,479 Oh, well, I suppose they've got to come on heavy, 1182 01:13:44,503 --> 01:13:45,755 otherwise it wouldn't count. 1183 01:13:45,838 --> 01:13:48,215 I wonder when they get round to the bit about doing me in? 1184 01:13:48,257 --> 01:13:51,385 Not as good as the last lot. Nah, much more realistic, they were. 1185 01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:54,597 Are we being followed? 1186 01:13:57,475 --> 01:13:59,560 - Don't think so. - That's all right. 1187 01:13:59,644 --> 01:14:02,021 Going in the opposite direction. 1188 01:14:02,146 --> 01:14:04,082 It's all clear. He could drop us off at the end here. 1189 01:14:04,106 --> 01:14:05,650 Are you kidding? He's coming with us. 1190 01:14:05,733 --> 01:14:07,193 We may need a hostage. 1191 01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:09,922 Look, mate, why don't I just drop you here, like your mate suggested, eh? 1192 01:14:09,946 --> 01:14:12,007 Then I can sign your paper and you can be on your way. 1193 01:14:12,031 --> 01:14:13,491 Paper? 1194 01:14:13,574 --> 01:14:15,552 I just think it'd save us all a lot of time, that's all. 1195 01:14:15,576 --> 01:14:18,013 - What paper? What are you talkin' about? - You know, for your mates. 1196 01:14:18,037 --> 01:14:20,641 "I hereby declare I've done the dreadful deed" and all that rubbish. 1197 01:14:20,665 --> 01:14:22,291 I won't tell 'em I cottoned on. 1198 01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:25,211 Listen. Just shut up and keep driving. 1199 01:14:25,294 --> 01:14:27,505 Oh, come on, now, don't let's get carried away. 1200 01:14:27,630 --> 01:14:30,192 I mean, a joke's a joke, but I keep losing business doing this lark. 1201 01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,569 Yeah, that won't be the only thing you'll lose if you don't belt up. 1202 01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:34,428 Look, fair's fair, but you go too far. 1203 01:14:34,553 --> 01:14:37,240 I'm not gonna to sign your paper, I'm warning you, so just watch your step. 1204 01:14:37,264 --> 01:14:39,642 - Now, see here... - Left. Sharp left! 1205 01:14:41,769 --> 01:14:44,438 Joe: Hang about. What's all this, then? 1206 01:14:44,522 --> 01:14:47,441 Man: Go right down the end to the garage, drive right in. 1207 01:14:47,525 --> 01:14:51,237 - Oh, I get it, I get it. - You will if you don't belt up. 1208 01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:53,114 It's bleedin' Tom, innit? 1209 01:14:53,197 --> 01:14:56,492 I mean, I told him about the other kidnap, and he thought... 1210 01:14:56,575 --> 01:14:58,119 Very funny! 1211 01:15:16,470 --> 01:15:18,681 - What are you doin' here? - You should know. 1212 01:15:18,764 --> 01:15:22,184 What a bloody prank. Look, it's costing me money, this game. 1213 01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:24,520 - You know him? - 'Course he bloody knows me. 1214 01:15:24,645 --> 01:15:28,816 - I live here, don't I? - Er... what happened? Where's the car? 1215 01:15:29,025 --> 01:15:30,825 Parked on a double yellow line, didn't he, eh? 1216 01:15:30,901 --> 01:15:33,571 We do the job, come rushing out with the stuff, 1217 01:15:33,654 --> 01:15:35,740 there's our getaway car being done for parking. 1218 01:15:35,906 --> 01:15:37,575 Had to come back by cab. 1219 01:15:37,658 --> 01:15:40,411 And of all the cabs in London, you had to pick... 1220 01:15:40,494 --> 01:15:43,789 Oh, no! 1221 01:15:48,169 --> 01:15:49,837 I still say we can't trust him. 1222 01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:52,465 And, I'm telling you, he's a mate. He's not gonna shop us. 1223 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,651 - I won't. I won't. - And I say we shouldn't chance it. 1224 01:15:54,675 --> 01:15:57,011 Look, I'm not gonna say anything. As far as I'm concerned, 1225 01:15:57,094 --> 01:15:58,822 itneverhappened. I don't know nothing about it. 1226 01:15:58,846 --> 01:16:01,098 See? Now, I'll guarantee him. Now, don't worry. 1227 01:16:01,182 --> 01:16:04,393 - Don't worry? - How much do you think I'm worth? 1228 01:16:04,477 --> 01:16:06,538 Now look, Nikki, we haven't got time for all that, love. 1229 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,562 Take 'em off, please? 1230 01:16:07,605 --> 01:16:09,440 I knew I'd look good in expensive things. 1231 01:16:09,523 --> 01:16:12,276 Yeah, you look lovely. Now get 'em off. 1232 01:16:12,359 --> 01:16:14,403 Right, well, er... If you've all finished with me, 1233 01:16:14,487 --> 01:16:15,547 I think I'd better get back to work. 1234 01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:17,615 Sit down. You ain't going anywhere. 1235 01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:19,540 - Yeah, well, I just thought... - Well, don't. 1236 01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:24,663 - You expecting anyone? - It's all right. It's not the law. 1237 01:16:26,916 --> 01:16:29,335 And I thought taxi driving was a strain. 1238 01:16:29,376 --> 01:16:31,170 Right, let's get this stuff away somewhere. 1239 01:16:31,253 --> 01:16:32,856 It's making me nervous lying around the place. 1240 01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:34,298 Yeah, where are you gonna put it? 1241 01:16:34,465 --> 01:16:36,842 I know a place where no-one'll look. Nikki? 1242 01:16:37,009 --> 01:16:39,053 Oh, come here, monty. 1243 01:16:42,932 --> 01:16:46,477 - Christ almighty! - Hello, what are you doing here? 1244 01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:50,314 - You two know each other? - Yeah, he's my brother, isn't he? 1245 01:16:53,317 --> 01:16:55,736 Bloody hell, what's that? 1246 01:16:55,820 --> 01:16:57,947 A hippopotamus. 1247 01:16:58,030 --> 01:16:59,841 What the hell are you doing mixed up in all this? 1248 01:16:59,865 --> 01:17:01,826 Well, I'm in the big time now, aren't I? 1249 01:17:01,909 --> 01:17:04,286 I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. 1250 01:17:04,411 --> 01:17:06,831 Peter: I was drivin' the getaway car, wasn't I? 1251 01:17:06,914 --> 01:17:08,749 Oh, yeah, parked on a double yellow line. 1252 01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:10,435 Peter: I've done it before and never got nicked. 1253 01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:11,836 So tell us what happened. 1254 01:17:11,919 --> 01:17:14,088 Nothin' happened. I got a bollockin'. 1255 01:17:14,171 --> 01:17:16,590 You lot came running out of the shop with the stuff. 1256 01:17:16,674 --> 01:17:18,968 Well, the copper, he forgot about me, so I drove off. 1257 01:17:19,093 --> 01:17:20,886 Yeah. We should have been with ya. 1258 01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:23,848 Well, it looks like you managed to pick up a cab all right, don't it? 1259 01:17:23,931 --> 01:17:25,599 Little bleeder. I ought to do you. 1260 01:17:25,683 --> 01:17:29,228 I saw what happened. Didn't know it was Joe driving it, though. 1261 01:17:29,311 --> 01:17:30,688 How much did he charge ya? 1262 01:17:30,813 --> 01:17:32,940 You think you're very funny, don't you, eh? 1263 01:17:33,065 --> 01:17:34,233 Come on, Harry, lay off. 1264 01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:36,002 Yeah, but how do we know he wasn't followed? 1265 01:17:36,026 --> 01:17:37,695 Bloody amateur, coming straight back here. 1266 01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:40,781 So what else was I supposed to do? It wasn't me they were following. 1267 01:17:40,906 --> 01:17:42,968 Yeah, well, any more cheek and I'll lay one on you so hard 1268 01:17:42,992 --> 01:17:44,511 my fist'll come out the back of your head. 1269 01:17:44,535 --> 01:17:45,661 Take it easy, Harry, yeah? 1270 01:17:45,786 --> 01:17:48,414 The kid didn't mean nothing. Just let it rest, okay? 1271 01:17:48,497 --> 01:17:51,125 Yeah, trouble is, my friends, what do we do now? 1272 01:17:51,208 --> 01:17:54,170 I mean, for all we know, they might have taken Joe's number. 1273 01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:56,690 For all we know, they might be on the way round here right now. 1274 01:17:56,714 --> 01:17:58,215 Taken my number? 1275 01:17:58,299 --> 01:18:00,634 Oh, that's great, that is. That's really landed me in it. 1276 01:18:00,718 --> 01:18:02,696 Tom's right. We ought to split before they get on to us. 1277 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:04,847 Yeah, we'll meet up tomorrow like we planned. 1278 01:18:06,348 --> 01:18:08,642 Too late, they're here. 1279 01:18:10,311 --> 01:18:12,938 - Can't see anyone. - Well, it's not ringing on its own. 1280 01:18:13,063 --> 01:18:14,398 Who is it? 1281 01:18:14,481 --> 01:18:18,235 Nikki: If nobody makes a sound, perhaps they'll go away. 1282 01:18:18,319 --> 01:18:21,071 Look, maybe you'd better go and see who it is. 1283 01:18:21,155 --> 01:18:23,157 - What? - Do you want me to go? 1284 01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:26,452 You stay right where you are. Yeah. Go on. 1285 01:18:29,079 --> 01:18:31,957 Carol: It's no use hiding. I know you're in there, Joe north. 1286 01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:34,084 Bloody hell, that's all I need. 1287 01:18:34,168 --> 01:18:36,837 Answer this door or I'll scream the place down. 1288 01:18:36,921 --> 01:18:38,839 You let me in or, I'm warning you, 1289 01:18:38,923 --> 01:18:41,467 I'll get the police to knock the door in. 1290 01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:45,971 - Oh, Carol. - You took your time, didn't ya? 1291 01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:48,224 - Where is he? - Who? 1292 01:18:48,307 --> 01:18:50,434 Oh, Joe. 1293 01:18:50,517 --> 01:18:53,229 Who did you think I meant? Mickey mouse? 1294 01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,940 He's out. Working. 1295 01:18:56,065 --> 01:18:57,983 What? When his taxi's here? 1296 01:18:58,192 --> 01:19:00,319 What's he driving? Horse and cart? 1297 01:19:00,444 --> 01:19:03,781 His taxi's not here. He's out in it. 1298 01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:07,576 Really. Well, I have just bumped into the tall lady from number 3, 1299 01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:10,079 with the toy poodle and the blue rinse. 1300 01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:11,830 And, according to her, 1301 01:19:11,914 --> 01:19:15,292 Joe's taxi drove into your garage ten minutes ago. 1302 01:19:15,376 --> 01:19:19,964 So, unless it's gone straight through your back wall, it's still here, innit? 1303 01:19:20,506 --> 01:19:23,300 Well, you see, I wouldn't know about that, 'cause, er... 1304 01:19:23,425 --> 01:19:24,635 I was asleep. 1305 01:19:26,971 --> 01:19:28,806 He's up there, isn't he? 1306 01:19:28,889 --> 01:19:31,100 He's up there with another bloody bird! 1307 01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:32,393 Oh! 1308 01:19:32,935 --> 01:19:35,145 Joe, get rid of her. 1309 01:19:35,229 --> 01:19:37,207 - What am I supposed to do? - Carol: Joe north, I'm coming up, 1310 01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:40,526 and if I find you in a compromising position with your knickers down, I'll... 1311 01:19:43,946 --> 01:19:47,574 - Didn't know you had company. - Hello, Carol. 1312 01:19:47,658 --> 01:19:50,869 I just came to tell you that I've forgiven you. 1313 01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:53,080 For what you was doing last time I saw you. 1314 01:19:53,163 --> 01:19:55,416 - Oh, er... thank you. - Yes. 1315 01:19:55,541 --> 01:19:59,545 I've thought it over very carefully and I decided that what you did 1316 01:19:59,628 --> 01:20:02,172 was a moment of weakness on your behalf, 1317 01:20:02,256 --> 01:20:04,258 so I have forgiven you. 1318 01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:06,510 - Great. - I thought you'd be pleased. 1319 01:20:06,593 --> 01:20:08,595 Yeah. Great. 1320 01:20:08,679 --> 01:20:11,849 Well, aren't you going to introduce me? 1321 01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:14,852 To your friends? 1322 01:20:14,935 --> 01:20:17,646 Oh. Yes, um... this is Peter. 1323 01:20:17,730 --> 01:20:20,899 Yes, I know Peter, and Tom, and that Nikki as well. 1324 01:20:21,025 --> 01:20:24,153 And, um... this is, er... Jeremy? 1325 01:20:24,236 --> 01:20:25,529 Terribly pleased to meet you. 1326 01:20:25,612 --> 01:20:28,574 - And Rupert. - Very pleased to meet you. 1327 01:20:28,741 --> 01:20:31,368 I'm Joe's fiancée. Carol hotchkiss. 1328 01:20:31,452 --> 01:20:34,955 Actually, Harry... Bernard and Jim were just about to leave. 1329 01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:36,915 Er... yeah, yeah. 1330 01:20:36,999 --> 01:20:38,709 - Yeah, we're going. - Yeah. 1331 01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:40,210 Yeah. 1332 01:20:40,294 --> 01:20:41,962 - Yeah. - Bye, Rupert. 1333 01:20:42,046 --> 01:20:44,548 Nice to have met you. 1334 01:20:45,966 --> 01:20:47,402 What did you say they do for a living? 1335 01:20:47,426 --> 01:20:48,510 - Insurance. - Antiques. 1336 01:20:48,594 --> 01:20:49,970 - Banking. - Computers. 1337 01:20:52,890 --> 01:20:54,475 What's goin' on? 1338 01:20:54,558 --> 01:20:56,935 What do you mean? Nothing. Why? 1339 01:20:57,853 --> 01:21:01,106 Is there something I'm not supposed to know about? 1340 01:21:01,231 --> 01:21:04,360 It's just that I get the impression... 1341 01:21:04,443 --> 01:21:06,362 I mean, what's he doing here for a start? 1342 01:21:06,445 --> 01:21:08,530 Peter: Just come to see my brother, haven't I? 1343 01:21:10,616 --> 01:21:12,409 You've got someone here, haven't you? 1344 01:21:12,493 --> 01:21:16,205 Another woman. Another naked tart in the bedroom. 1345 01:21:16,288 --> 01:21:18,916 Oh, for god's sake. Look, there's no-one here but us, that's all. 1346 01:21:18,999 --> 01:21:21,811 - How am I supposed to know that? - Well, you've just got a suspicious mind. 1347 01:21:21,835 --> 01:21:24,713 That's your trouble. You're worse than the CIA, into everything. 1348 01:21:24,797 --> 01:21:27,007 If I caught you with another woman, Joe north, 1349 01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:28,842 so help me, I would kill you, I would. 1350 01:21:28,926 --> 01:21:32,763 Especially after I've forgiven you for your misdemeanour. 1351 01:21:32,846 --> 01:21:36,100 Listen, darlin', you know you're the only girl in the world for me. 1352 01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:39,186 It's just that, um... I've learned my lesson. 1353 01:21:39,269 --> 01:21:41,647 Come on, let's go down the pub and have a drink, eh? 1354 01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:44,900 - Do you really mean that? - Yes, I'm thirsty. I could do with one. 1355 01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:47,861 No. About me being the only girl in the world. 1356 01:21:47,986 --> 01:21:49,738 'Course I do. Come on. 1357 01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:53,075 Oh, well, don't push me, all right? I mean, the pubs aren't even open yet. 1358 01:21:53,158 --> 01:21:55,238 - So? We can wait. - Which one did you want to go to? 1359 01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:56,995 Oh, any one... 1360 01:21:59,665 --> 01:22:01,375 Thank god for that. 1361 01:22:03,585 --> 01:22:08,424 Good day, sir. Madam. Going somewhere, were we? 1362 01:22:08,507 --> 01:22:11,593 - Who are you? - Do you mind if we step inside, sir? 1363 01:22:11,677 --> 01:22:14,721 - Carol: What did you want? - If you don't mind, sir? 1364 01:22:19,226 --> 01:22:21,395 Carol: No, you see, we were just on our way out. 1365 01:22:21,478 --> 01:22:22,479 Yes, I had noticed. 1366 01:22:22,604 --> 01:22:25,065 Yes, we were waiting till the pubs opened. 1367 01:22:25,774 --> 01:22:28,527 Inspector Rogers, cid. 1368 01:22:28,610 --> 01:22:31,655 - And this is sergeant jeeves. - Afternoon, all. 1369 01:22:31,697 --> 01:22:35,075 I rather thought you might be able to help us with our enquiries. 1370 01:22:35,159 --> 01:22:37,995 Oh, what's been happening? 1371 01:22:38,620 --> 01:22:40,581 Oi! You got a search warrant? 1372 01:22:40,706 --> 01:22:43,250 Why? You hiding something? 1373 01:22:44,376 --> 01:22:48,881 You were with him. And you were with him. 1374 01:22:48,964 --> 01:22:50,507 Right? 1375 01:22:51,925 --> 01:22:54,219 So, who were you with? 1376 01:22:54,344 --> 01:22:55,679 Myself. 1377 01:22:55,762 --> 01:22:57,639 Joe, what's this all about? 1378 01:22:57,723 --> 01:23:00,100 You're a bit young to be in this sort of league, aren't you? 1379 01:23:00,267 --> 01:23:01,768 I didn't know there was an age limit. 1380 01:23:01,852 --> 01:23:04,313 Look, what are we supposed to be helping his enquiries with? 1381 01:23:04,438 --> 01:23:05,939 Carol, love. 1382 01:23:06,064 --> 01:23:08,692 It's to do with sex, isn't it? 1383 01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,503 You've been having orgies up here, haven't you? 1384 01:23:10,527 --> 01:23:11,653 That's what it is, isn't it? 1385 01:23:11,737 --> 01:23:13,655 - Orgies. - Rogers: No, ma'am. 1386 01:23:13,780 --> 01:23:15,365 Well, it must be something like that. 1387 01:23:15,449 --> 01:23:17,993 I mean, if Joe's anything to do with it, it must be sexy. 1388 01:23:18,076 --> 01:23:20,078 You've got a one-track mind, you have. 1389 01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:22,372 All right, if it's not orgies, what is it, then? 1390 01:23:22,456 --> 01:23:25,375 You might say it's a little treasure hunt. 1391 01:23:26,043 --> 01:23:28,212 Joe, what have you got yourself mixed up with now? 1392 01:23:28,295 --> 01:23:30,005 - Nothing. - I bet you have. 1393 01:23:30,088 --> 01:23:32,716 Especially if there's a woman involved. 1394 01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:36,470 - Listen, there's nothing up here. - Not according to your two friends. 1395 01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:37,930 We've got 'em outside. 1396 01:23:38,013 --> 01:23:40,432 - Picked 'em up a few minutes ago. - What two friends? 1397 01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:43,894 We know all about your little caper at the jewellers. 1398 01:23:43,936 --> 01:23:46,271 I'm sorry, I really don't know what you're talking about. 1399 01:23:46,355 --> 01:23:49,858 Why don't you just come clean? Your friends have. 1400 01:23:51,443 --> 01:23:53,237 Found any little trinkets yet? 1401 01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:54,363 Not yet, sir. 1402 01:23:54,488 --> 01:23:56,288 Tom: You're not gonna find anything, you know. 1403 01:23:56,323 --> 01:23:59,535 We'll see. Life's full of little surprises, isn't it? 1404 01:23:59,660 --> 01:24:01,078 Jesus Christ! 1405 01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:02,514 I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to shout. 1406 01:24:02,538 --> 01:24:04,248 It's just there's a bloody snake in there. 1407 01:24:04,331 --> 01:24:06,208 That is monty. 1408 01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:09,336 He is my speciality and he's very highly strung. 1409 01:24:09,419 --> 01:24:12,756 Please don't upset him. He's got a performance tonight. 1410 01:24:12,839 --> 01:24:15,300 - There's nothing there, sir. - Told ya. 1411 01:24:15,425 --> 01:24:20,180 Here, I've just realised. You're looking for stolen property. 1412 01:24:20,305 --> 01:24:22,432 Carol, why don't you belt up? 1413 01:24:22,516 --> 01:24:24,643 But the cheek of it. I mean, comin' in here 1414 01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:26,704 and searching this place like we were all criminals. 1415 01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:29,147 No, you tell him, Joe. Go on, tell him. 1416 01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,441 Carol, Carol, will you shut up, Carol? 1417 01:24:31,525 --> 01:24:32,985 Go on. Go on, tell him. 1418 01:24:33,110 --> 01:24:36,321 Ask to see his search warrant. Go on. Ask. Ask. 1419 01:24:36,405 --> 01:24:37,906 Go on. Go on. 1420 01:24:37,990 --> 01:24:40,117 If you don't ask, I shall never speak to you again, 1421 01:24:40,242 --> 01:24:42,953 even though I have forgiven you. 1422 01:24:43,996 --> 01:24:45,789 Have you got something to say, then? 1423 01:24:45,872 --> 01:24:48,417 - Well, um, inspector... - Go on, go on, tell him to get out. 1424 01:24:48,584 --> 01:24:49,668 Yes, um... 1425 01:24:49,793 --> 01:24:52,379 And tell him to apologise. Tell him you know your rights. 1426 01:24:52,504 --> 01:24:55,340 Tell him you'll sue him for libel if he don't apologise. 1427 01:24:55,465 --> 01:24:56,717 She'll get me jailed for life. 1428 01:24:56,800 --> 01:25:00,012 Well, go on, Joe, tell him. Joe is my fiancé. 1429 01:25:00,095 --> 01:25:03,390 Well, um, inspector, as you don't appear to have found anything... 1430 01:25:03,515 --> 01:25:05,475 That's right. Really lay it on him. 1431 01:25:05,559 --> 01:25:08,395 I suggest we, um, call it a day. 1432 01:25:08,562 --> 01:25:11,356 - Don't you? - That's a bit pathetic, innit? 1433 01:25:11,440 --> 01:25:13,483 - Carol! - Well, I mean, he's just called us 1434 01:25:13,567 --> 01:25:15,485 a bunch of criminals. We could sue him for that. 1435 01:25:15,569 --> 01:25:19,156 Excuse me, ma'am, I haven't called any of you criminals. 1436 01:25:20,157 --> 01:25:21,366 Yet. 1437 01:25:21,450 --> 01:25:22,760 Carol: Oh, yes, you did. I heard you. 1438 01:25:22,784 --> 01:25:24,786 You said we had stolen goods. 1439 01:25:24,870 --> 01:25:26,455 What sort of people do you think we are? 1440 01:25:26,538 --> 01:25:28,081 Accusing us of being criminals. 1441 01:25:28,165 --> 01:25:29,934 - We are respectable, we are. - Nikki! 1442 01:25:29,958 --> 01:25:32,461 Carol: I have never done anything criminal in my life. 1443 01:25:32,586 --> 01:25:34,755 - I work in a supermarket. - Nikki! 1444 01:25:34,838 --> 01:25:36,882 And as for Joe, well, he's a taxi driver. 1445 01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:39,676 And Peter is, well... 1446 01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:43,430 And as for Tom, well, you could hardly call him a criminal. He's a mechanic. 1447 01:25:43,513 --> 01:25:44,765 - Nikki... - And Nikki, 1448 01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:47,100 - well, she's respectable. She's a stripper. - Nikki! 1449 01:25:47,225 --> 01:25:49,561 And so the last thing you could ever find in this place 1450 01:25:49,645 --> 01:25:51,647 would be stolen property. 1451 01:26:35,315 --> 01:26:37,567 Just been visiting Tom. Poor bastard. 1452 01:26:37,651 --> 01:26:39,695 Got five years. Him and his mates. 1453 01:26:39,736 --> 01:26:41,863 I thought I was gonna go down meself at one point. 1454 01:26:41,947 --> 01:26:45,075 But, as I explained to them, I was a victim of the circumstances. 1455 01:26:45,158 --> 01:26:46,827 And they let me off with a caution. 1456 01:26:46,910 --> 01:26:48,888 Mind you, I think they were glad to see the back of me, 1457 01:26:48,912 --> 01:26:51,540 'cause Carol was pestering the life out of them. 1458 01:26:51,665 --> 01:26:53,291 Nikki got out of it all right. 1459 01:26:53,375 --> 01:26:55,252 Probation. First offence. 1460 01:26:55,335 --> 01:26:57,337 Tom's asked me to keep an eye on her for him. 1461 01:26:57,421 --> 01:27:00,090 That's a favour I shan't mind doing. 1462 01:27:00,173 --> 01:27:02,843 Lost me a lot of time, though, all this business with the law. 1463 01:27:02,926 --> 01:27:06,847 Lost me a place to live and all. Guess where I've ended up? 1464 01:27:07,264 --> 01:27:09,474 Mrs north: Nothing like home cookin', is there? 1465 01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:11,768 Not like your home cooking, there isn't. 1466 01:27:11,852 --> 01:27:14,563 Carol rang up. Said she'd be round at six. 1467 01:27:14,646 --> 01:27:16,857 - You were taking her out. - Oh, yeah. 1468 01:27:16,940 --> 01:27:18,859 That's really lumbered me in it, that has. 1469 01:27:18,984 --> 01:27:21,087 I suppose the only good thing that's come out of this is you 1470 01:27:21,111 --> 01:27:22,362 getting off on probation. 1471 01:27:22,446 --> 01:27:24,206 Really shook you up, that brush with the law. 1472 01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:27,451 Good thing, too. Turned over a new leaf, you have. 1473 01:27:27,534 --> 01:27:30,537 You still eat anything that lies still on a plate though, don't ya? 1474 01:27:30,620 --> 01:27:33,206 Still, you've learned your lesson. I'm glad to see it. 1475 01:27:33,331 --> 01:27:35,417 Good to see you going straight. 1476 01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:38,503 Well, I'm off. Where's me fares book? 1477 01:27:42,007 --> 01:27:43,425 Bloody hell! 1478 01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:46,887 Mrs north: Here, don't you bloody swear in front of the baby. 1479 01:27:47,053 --> 01:27:49,431 Teaches her bad habits. 1480 01:27:56,938 --> 01:28:00,567 Female singer: J“ I know you've been runnin' free 1481 01:28:00,650 --> 01:28:03,445 j“ I think you'll have fun with me 1482 01:28:03,528 --> 01:28:06,656 j“ forget the rest, I'd like to test 1483 01:28:06,740 --> 01:28:09,534 j“ your drivin' style 1484 01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:14,706 j“ won't you be my cruisin' Casanova? 1485 01:28:14,998 --> 01:28:19,336 J“ click your fingers and I'll be over there 1486 01:28:19,419 --> 01:28:21,546 j“ smoothin' your hair 1487 01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:24,257 j“ soothin' your cares away j“ 1488 01:28:24,341 --> 01:28:27,177 hello, darlin'. Which bridge do you want this time? 1489 01:28:27,385 --> 01:28:29,095 Post office tower, please. 1490 01:28:30,305 --> 01:28:34,351 J“ stop the clock and workin' overtime 1491 01:28:34,559 --> 01:28:37,813 j“ cruisin' Casanova, be mine 1492 01:28:37,854 --> 01:28:40,941 j“ my man's a taxi driver 1493 01:28:41,441 --> 01:28:44,694 j“ my man's a taxi driver 1494 01:28:45,237 --> 01:28:52,494 -j' my man's a taxi driver... j“ -j' won't you be my cruisin' Casanova? 1495 01:28:52,786 --> 01:28:56,832 J“ click your fingers and I'll be over there 1496 01:28:56,915 --> 01:28:58,750 j“ smoothin' your hair 1497 01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:01,837 j“ soothin' your cares away 1498 01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:07,050 j“ there's no refusin' Casanova 1499 01:29:07,467 --> 01:29:11,638 j“ stop your clock and workin' overtime 1500 01:29:11,721 --> 01:29:16,643 j“ cruisin' Casanova, be mine 1501 01:29:16,935 --> 01:29:20,355 -j' Casanova, be mine j“ -j' cruisin' j“ 1502 01:29:20,564 --> 01:29:23,441 j“ Casanova, be mine... j“ 1503 01:29:23,775 --> 01:29:31,775 subtitles by powerhouse films ltd