1
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:05,002
(dramatic music)

2
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,690
(suspenseful music)

3
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,450
(thunder rumbles)

4
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,088
(eerie music)

5
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,663
- Do you think
they'll come, sir?

6
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,666
- [Lionel] Oh, they'll come,
they'll come all right.

7
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,634
Here, stamp those and mail them.

8
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:27,427
(light bouncy music)

9
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,293
(eerie music)

10
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,761
- It's ringing.

11
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,549
Dear, would you walk
Myron the other way.

12
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,763
My leg tends to look
like a tree in this fog.

13
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,475
- What a God forsaken
spot to get lost.

14
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,440
- True, I saw a much better
spot a few miles back.

15
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:24,568
(phone rings)
(suspenseful music)

16
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,700
Hello?

17
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,792
Hello?

18
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:36,788
- Good.
- Hello?

19
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,878
- Tell them we're lost.
(phone rings)

20
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,466
(suspenseful music)

21
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:46,714
- Nobody answered,
the phone went dead.

22
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,553
- [Dora] Then why
did you say hello?

23
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:49,922
- Funny, I could have sworn...

24
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:50,923
- [Dora] What, Dicky?

25
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,346
- Sounded as though
somebody snipped the wire.

26
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,640
- Really, what
did it sound like?

27
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,023
- Snip.

28
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,645
(suspenseful music)

29
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,192
- [Willie] Some bog, eh, Pop?

30
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,440
- [Wang] I've already
heard the weather report,

31
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,237
and drive please.

32
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,532
- Boy, it's as
thick as pea soup.

33
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,906
Not a soul around for miles.

34
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,122
Know what I think, Pop?

35
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,208
Perfect place for a murder.

36
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:22,375
- Conversation like
television set on honeymoon.

37
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,382
Unnecessary.

38
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,717
(suspenseful music)

39
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,293
- [Willie] Hey, where
we going anyway, Pop?

40
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,878
And who is this
Mr. Twain who invited

41
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:03,871
you for the weekend?

42
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,793
And what did he mean
by dinner and a murder?

43
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,088
- Questions are
like athlete's foot.

44
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,803
After a while, very irritating.

45
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,844
(dog barking)

46
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,137
To stop car, please.

47
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:16,975
- What's wrong?

48
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,685
- Stop car please.

49
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:21,806
(dog howls) (suspenseful music)

50
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,147
To shut engine off, please.

51
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,570
Listen.

52
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,280
- [Willie] I don't hear
nothing, what do you hear?

53
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,524
- [Wang] Double
negative and dog.

54
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,572
- [Willie] 50 it's
a dog, so what?

55
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,911
- If I'm not
mistaken, dog belong

56
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,872
to Mr. Dick Charleston.

57
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,240
- Who's Dick Charleston?

58
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,161
- I am, thank you.

59
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,204
I say, you don't
happen to have seen

60
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,212
a little white...

61
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,128
Wang.

62
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,542
- A white wang?

63
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,631
- Good heavens, Sidney Wang.

64
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,421
What are you doing in
this godforsaken spot.

65
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,465
- No doubt, same as you.

66
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,555
Looking for bridge that
lead to home of host,

67
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,390
Mr. Lionel Twain.

68
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,725
- You, too, huh?

69
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,470
Must be important to invite
two such eminent detectives?

70
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,475
- Excuse please, to
introduce Japanese son, Wai.

71
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,316
- Hi.

72
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,980
- Japanese, but I
thought surely you...

73
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,275
- Mrs. Wang and I could
never have children.

74
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,273
We adopted number three son.

75
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,025
- [Dick] My pleasure,
be careful on this road,

76
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:15,992
it's treacherous.

77
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,033
- Treacherous road
like fresh mushroom.

78
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,039
Must always.

79
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,868
Idiot.

80
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,162
Not finished mushroom story.

81
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,284
You are idiot.

82
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:28,756
(bright playful music)

83
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:32,880
- Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Perrier,

84
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,628
but I can see nothing.

85
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,721
This fog is as thick
as bouillabaisse.

86
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:37,931
- Nuts.

87
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:38,765
- Beg your pardon?

88
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:39,633
- Nuts, nuts.

89
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,305
There are no nuts
in my chocolate.

90
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,978
That stupid imbecile
in the shop,

91
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,223
give you raisins when I
asked you to get me nuts.

92
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,895
- He didn't have any nuts.

93
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,443
- The man in the shop?

94
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,064
- That's the reason
I took the raisins.

95
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,360
- Oh, nevermind.

96
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,284
We will soon be
there for dinner.

97
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,277
Hot soup.

98
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,619
- Oui, monsieur.

99
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,909
Something is not right
in all of this, huh?

100
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,032
I can feel it in my bones.

101
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,246
- In your what?

102
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,369
- In my bones.

103
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,705
- Buns.

104
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,002
You have buns.

105
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,421
You bought buns and
you didn't tell me?

106
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,918
Where are they,
where are the buns?

107
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,136
- Oh, no, monsieur,
the bones in my body.

108
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,346
- Oh.

109
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,680
You should not
speak with an accent

110
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,049
when you know I'm so hungry.

111
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,395
(suspenseful music)

112
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:34,442
- [Tess] If you ask me, Sam,
this is a wild goose chase.

113
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,814
- [Sam] Nobody asked you, baby.

114
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,066
- [Tess] Yes, they
did, you asked me.

115
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,239
You asked me back
there if I thought...

116
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,735
- That was then.

117
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,612
This is now,

118
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,115
and nobody knows what
tomorrow will be.

119
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,240
That's the way things are,

120
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,958
whether we like it or not.

121
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,587
- Sam, I worry about you
sometimes, I really do.

122
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,126
- All right, cut the malarkey.

123
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,420
This trip is strictly
business with me.

124
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,338
Now what do you got
on this Twain guy??

125
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,633
- He was born in San
Francisco in 1906.

126
00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,880
His mother was a Roman Catholic,

127
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,973
his father was an orthodox Jew.

128
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,513
They were separated two
hours after the marriage.

129
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,852
- Any children?

130
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,391
- Yeah, one daughter, 32.

131
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,890
Her name's Irene but
she calls herself Rita.

132
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,938
- Just like a dame.

133
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,107
Don't stop, angel,
you're doing fine.

134
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,025
- Was arrested in
1932 in Chicago

135
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,524
for selling pornographic Bibles.

136
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,946
The DA couldn't make
the charge stick

137
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,695
and the church refused
to turn over the Bibles.

138
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,072
There's nothing
on 'em until '46,

139
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,199
when he was picked
up in El Paso, Texas,

140
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,917
for trying to
smuggle a truck load

141
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,287
of rich white Americans
across the border

142
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,833
into Mexico to pick melons.

143
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,586
He was sent to the
Dallas Day Hospital

144
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,379
for mental observation.

145
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,254
- I think we've picked
ourselves a queer bird, angel.

146
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,801
Anything else?

147
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,845
- Oh, yeah, get this, Sam.

148
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:47,140
Lionel Twain has one interesting
physical characteristic.

149
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,478
He has no pinkies.

150
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,477
- No pinkies?

151
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,976
You mean Twain has
only got eight fingers?

152
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,274
- No, no, he's got 10.

153
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,942
He just doesn't
have any pinkies.

154
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,156
- You did your
homework good, angel.

155
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,321
- Thanks, Sam.

156
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,863
- Where'd you dig
up all that stuff?

157
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,578
- Oh, I wrote to
Twain and asked him.

158
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,242
- Good thinking.

159
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,957
(engine sputters)

160
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,871
- [Tess] What's the matter?

161
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,462
- Wouldn't you know, out of gas.

162
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:18,083
- I saw a station about
five miles back, Sam.

163
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,671
- I want you to know I'm gonna
be waiting for you, baby.

164
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,142
(dramatic music)

165
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,939
- [Willie] Here's
the bridge, Pop.

166
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,812
Doesn't look safe to me.

167
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:42,361
- One way to find
out, drive across.

168
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,609
- Well, aren't you
gonna come with me?

169
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,955
- Weight of two men maybe
too much for bridge.

170
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,493
- Then why do I get
to drive the car?

171
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,208
- 'Cause I smart enough
to get out first.

172
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,746
(playful music)

173
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,594
- [Willie] I don't think
I'm gonna make it, Pop.

174
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:11,470
It's gonna collapse.

175
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,937
- Don't worry.

176
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,433
Father find other way to house.

177
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,151
(dramatic music)

178
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,360
(triumphant music)

179
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,830
- I made it, Pop, I made it.

180
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,618
- Good, good.

181
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,084
Now come back and
get adopted father.

182
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,090
Look at the invitation,
what number of house?

183
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,630
- Two, two.
- Correct.

184
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,878
Two, two Twain's
house, continue.

185
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,687
(dramatic music)

186
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,073
Did you see that?

187
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:13,915
- No.

188
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,283
- Neither did I.

189
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,253
(suspenseful music)

190
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,674
Stop, do not move.

191
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,342
Something's wrong here.

192
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,383
- [Willie] What is it, Pop?

193
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,597
- Do not ask questions.

194
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,510
Do as I say.

195
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,727
When I tell you jump, you jump.

196
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:38,440
One, two, three, jump.
(statue shatters)

197
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,351
- Holy Shanghai.

198
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,610
Nice counting, Pop,
but how'd you know?

199
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,027
- Look on ground.

200
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,776
(foreboding music)

201
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,151
Ah.

202
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,530
Even had correct shoe size.

203
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,908
Someone 90 great trouble
to make welcome guests

204
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:56,999
not so welcome.

205
00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,296
Ring bell please.

206
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,002
- Are you nuts, Pop,
someone's trying to kill us?

207
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:06,422
- Yes, should make
exciting weekend.

208
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,045
Ring, please.

209
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,546
- I wish it was Monday morning.

210
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,468
Well, here goes.

211
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,595
(woman screams)

212
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,143
Holy cow, they're
killing someone in there.

213
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,106
- Calm yourself.

214
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,474
- Didn't you hear her scream?

215
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,351
- Oh, no.

216
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,944
You heard scream.

217
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:27,029
More experienced
ear heard doorbell.

218
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,114
Listen again.

219
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:32,194
(woman screams)

220
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:37,283
Mr. Twain has macabre
sense of humor, yeah?

221
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:43,630
(thunder rumbles)
(curious music)

222
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:03,191
- [Butler] Good evening,
we have been expecting you.

223
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,901
- But in what condition?

224
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,362
Roof in need of repair.

225
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,196
- Indeed.

226
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:11,066
I'm afraid the house
is falling apart.

227
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,448
- May we come in, please?

228
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,412
- I'm so sorry,
I thought you were in.

229
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,242
You are Mr. and Mrs. Charleston.

230
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:26,169
- Not quite, I am Inspector
Wang of Catalina Police.

231
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,041
This adopted son Willie.

232
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,757
- I trust you had
a pleasant journey

233
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,596
despite the storm.

234
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:38,514
(dramatic music)
(thunder rumbles)

235
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,939
- Strange weather.

236
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:51,190
Storm only outside when inside.

237
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,235
- Oh, that.

238
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:55,156
That's just one of
Mr. Twain's little toys.

239
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,120
An electronic device.

240
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,740
Mr. Twain, as you
will soon discover,

241
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:03,038
prefers his atmosphere murky.

242
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,706
May I have your bags, sir?

243
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,955
- Oh, no, no, son will get bags.

244
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,583
That is why I adopted him.

245
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,880
- Very good, sir.

246
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:14,130
One moment please,
while I close the door.

247
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,847
Now, if you will follow me.

248
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,812
I will show you to your room.

249
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:27,776
(curious music)
(thunder rumbles)

250
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,317
- Very large house.

251
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,568
No other servants?

252
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,240
- I'm not sure.

253
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,362
I've never seen anyone.

254
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:46,995
Mr. Twain asked me to see that
you're made most comfortable,

255
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,919
and to say that he will be
joining you after dinner.

256
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,257
- After dinner?

257
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,843
Host not have
dinner with guests?

258
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:58,090
- No, Mr. Twain
prefers to eat out.

259
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,888
(thunder rumbles)

260
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:05,146
(suspenseful music)

261
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,694
(dog barks)

262
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,903
- Oh, wait please.

263
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:13,942
What that?

264
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,190
- That, oh it's nothing, sir.

265
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,191
Just the cat.

266
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,284
(dog barks)

267
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,287
- That cat?

268
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,865
You feed cat dog food?

269
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,617
- I'm afraid he's a
very angry cat, sir.

270
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:29,713
Mr. Twain had him fixed
and he didn't want to be.

271
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,457
(dog growls) - Oh.

272
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,503
- Big house, huh, Pop?

273
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,511
- Big house like man
married to fat woman,

274
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,597
hard to get around.

275
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,090
- Ah, here we are.

276
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,477
I'm sure you'll
find this suitable.

277
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,845
- Boy, it's a cold house.

278
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,392
- I've taken care of that, sir.

279
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,937
You'll find a nice
cozy fire in your room.

280
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,771
(playful music)

281
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:10,995
It's a bit smokey, sir.

282
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:14,966
I'm afraid that old fireplace
hasn't been used in years.

283
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,880
- At least the bed will be warm.

284
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,925
- If you wish anything,
sir, please ring.

285
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,013
- Where bathroom?

286
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,759
- It's behind the
bed, sir, there.

287
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,177
Dinner will be at nine,

288
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:30,022
and Mr. Twain likes
his guests to dress.

289
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,016
(woman screams)

290
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,815
Ah, the doorbell, excuse me.

291
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,907
- Wow, what a creepy guy.

292
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,992
Why would anyone want
to hire a blind butler?

293
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,658
- For one thing, very cheap.

294
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,248
How butler know how
much he get paid?

295
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,872
- Drink this darling,
you'll feel better.

296
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,294
- If Myron hadn't
barked when he did,

297
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,292
we never would have seen
that statue falling.

298
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,134
- Why, I don't think the statue

299
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,002
was meant to kill us, darling,

300
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,253
I think it was a warning.

301
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,175
Somebody's trying to
frighten us, but why?

302
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,641
- Whatever his reason is,
he's doing a wonderful job.

303
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,635
- Why the devil hasn't
anybody answered this door?

304
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,136
- Don't ring it again, Dicky.

305
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:08,978
Knock, don't ring.

306
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:09,981
- I won't, I promise.

307
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,855
(thunder rumbles)

308
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,110
- [Dora] What is it now, Myron?

309
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,983
- Up there, Dora, look.

310
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,740
A blind butler.

311
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:26,363
- Don't let him
park the car, Dicky.

312
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:30,163
(thunder rumbles)

313
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,297
- [Butler] Good evening,
we have been expecting you.

314
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,962
- We let ourselves
in, thank you.

315
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,255
Dick and Dora Charleston.

316
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:44,426
- Good evening, we have
been expecting you.

317
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:47,767
Your room is ready if you'll
just follow me please.

318
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,727
(dog growls)

319
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,846
Oh, don't mind him,
ma'am, it's just the cat.

320
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,441
(light music)

321
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,231
- We left our
luggage in the trunk.

322
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:01,072
- I'll get it later,
ma'am, when I park the car.

323
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,820
- Was that Mr. Wang's
car I noticed out front?

324
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,664
- Yes, they're resting
now in their room.

325
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,249
I have taken the
liberty of putting you

326
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,584
in the same wing as Mr. Wang.

327
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:14,497
- Oh, isn't that nice, darling?

328
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:15,505
We're in Wang's wing.

329
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,215
(light music)

330
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,886
(spring bounces)

331
00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:27,640
- Not many people come
to the manor these days.

332
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,385
It's nice to hear guests again.

333
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,602
- Thank you, you are?

334
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,470
- Bensonmum, ma'am.

335
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,312
- Thank you, Benson.

336
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,397
- No, no, Bensonmum,

337
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,233
my name is Bensonmum.

338
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,067
- Bensonmum?

339
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,687
- Yes, sir, Jamesir, Bensonmum.

340
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:41,733
- Jamesir.

341
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,651
- Yes, sir.

342
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:43,989
- Jamesir Bensonmum.

343
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,074
- Yes, sir.

344
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:45,908
- How odd.

345
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,151
- My father's name, sir.

346
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,029
- What was your father's name?

347
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,780
- Howard, Howard Bensonmum.

348
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,657
- Your father was
Howard Bensonmum?

349
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,329
- Leave it be, clear,
I've had enough.

350
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:55,622
- Oh, here we are.

351
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,870
The late Mrs. Twain's room.

352
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,089
She died in here.

353
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,048
- Oh dear.

354
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,257
- Died of what?

355
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:05,094
- She murdered herself
in her sleep, sir.

356
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,337
- You mean suicide?

357
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,591
- Oh, no, it was
murder all right.

358
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,640
Mrs. Twain hated herself.

359
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:15,263
We keep this room locked.

360
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,355
- Why is that?

361
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,645
- Mr. Twain loved her very much.

362
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,859
He's kept her room
just as it was

363
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:24,822
the night she choked
herself nine years ago.

364
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:29,031
(suspenseful music)

365
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,076
Madame loved it here.

366
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,419
She said it was the
cheeriest room in the house.

367
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:46,465
(woman screams)
Ah, the doorbell.

368
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,054
- That was Mrs. Charleston.

369
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,889
- I thought she was
up here with us, sir?

370
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:52,384
- I am and I will not
stay in this horribly

371
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:53,259
filthy room overnight.

372
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,602
- Filthy, very well, madame.

373
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,392
I'll attend to it during dinner.

374
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:58,889
- Thank you, Bensonson.

375
00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:00,517
- Mum.
- What?

376
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:02,439
- Bensonmum, ma'am.

377
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,235
(door creaks)

378
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,076
- Baking flour.

379
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:11,911
- [Dora] What?

380
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,075
- This dust is baking flour

381
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,703
and these cobwebs,
candied sugar,

382
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,542
all placed here recently
for the sole purpose

383
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:21,459
of frightening us
and that mouse,

384
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:22,921
honestly, mechanical toy.

385
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,209
(laughing)

386
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:28,256
Silly.

387
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:29,379
- What is?

388
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:30,390
- I am.

389
00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:33,884
It's real. (Dora screams)

390
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:36,431
(mice squeaks)

391
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:39,855
- [Milo] Stop the
car, we are here.

392
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,850
- I know we are here, that's
why I stopped the car.

393
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,226
- Open my door.

394
00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:44,648
- You have chocolate
on your face.

395
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:45,486
- What?

396
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:46,854
- The candy bar, it
is all over your face.

397
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,322
- Imbecile, that's my mustache.

398
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:49,736
- Lick it and see.

399
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:55,997
- Wipe it off, my
hands are sticky.

400
00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:01,707
- Hold still please.

401
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:03,840
Sloppy.

402
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,090
(suspenseful music)

403
00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:08,801
(lightly knocks)

404
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,795
(woman screams)

405
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:12,262
- All in good time.

406
00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:17,227
(thunder booms)
(suspenseful music)

407
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:20,356
Yes?

408
00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:22,942
Who's there?

409
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:26,314
Who's there, I say.

410
00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:31,951
Filthy neighborhood.

411
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:36,616
- Didn't I say jump,
une, deux, trois, jump,

412
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:37,455
I say.

413
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,040
Why don't you listen to me?

414
00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:42,126
- Oh, leave me alone, sloppy.

415
00:23:42,129 --> 00:23:44,917
(thunder rumbles)

416
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:52,087
(playful music)

417
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,394
- Who are you?

418
00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:03,064
(playful music)

419
00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:06,476
Oh.

420
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:09,149
You must be the
new kitchen maid.

421
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,238
I hope you can cook.

422
00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:12,572
Hm?

423
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:13,941
Answer me.

424
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:14,953
Speak up.

425
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:20,289
What's that?

426
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,249
I can't hear you.

427
00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:24,539
A little shy, are you?

428
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:25,546
Nevermind.

429
00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:29,085
They will be 10 for dinner.

430
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,423
Here is the menu.

431
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,108
Is that understood?

432
00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:50,399
Dinner will be at nine,

433
00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:53,023
when I want you,
that hell on the wall

434
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,740
will ring three times.

435
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:57,531
All right, get to work.

436
00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:00,155
(playful music)

437
00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:05,960
- Hello?

438
00:25:05,963 --> 00:25:08,204
Hello, hello, operator.

439
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:10,297
I am saying hello, hello.

440
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:11,756
- It's dead, sir.

441
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,922
- What, who is?

442
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:14,760
Who are you?

443
00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:17,721
- The butler, sir.
- The butler, eh?

444
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:18,725
I thought as much.

445
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,684
- That phone has
been out of order

446
00:25:21,687 --> 00:25:23,769
for the past week, sir.

447
00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:25,388
- Is that a fact?

448
00:25:25,399 --> 00:25:26,389
And I put it to you

449
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,643
that this wire has been
snipped not one hour ago.

450
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:30,939
As you can plainly see.

451
00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:33,734
What is your name?

452
00:25:33,741 --> 00:25:34,741
- Bensonmum.

453
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:39,318
- Your little jest escapes me.

454
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:41,787
I am Monsieur Milo Perrier.

455
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,248
My chauffeur was injured
by a falling gargoyle

456
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:47,084
while standing outside
in Chinese footprints.

457
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:49,328
We rang the bell,
a woman screamed,

458
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:51,831
a mouse ran by us
through the door.

459
00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:55,005
As you can plainly
see, I miss nothing.

460
00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:57,003
Since we cannot
call for a doctor,

461
00:25:57,014 --> 00:25:59,346
I will need a cold
compress for my chauffeur,

462
00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:00,931
and a cup of hot
chocolate for me.

463
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:01,765
N'est ce pas?

464
00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:03,476
- I don't think we
have N'est ce pas, sir.

465
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:05,095
Just Hershey's.

466
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:06,641
I'll call the maid.

467
00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:11,726
(bells ringing)

468
00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:22,119
I'll fetch it for
you myself, sir.

469
00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:24,868
In the meantime, if
you'll be good enough

470
00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:26,240
to follow me to your room.

471
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:29,754
- Get up, get up.

472
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:33,711
There is something about
this butler I do not trust.

473
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:37,051
Notice how his eyes
never look at you.

474
00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:38,169
- He's blind, monsieur.

475
00:26:40,891 --> 00:26:41,891
- Nonsense.

476
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:47,595
(conspicuous music)

477
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:49,438
- [Sam] There's the house now.

478
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,647
- Oh.

479
00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:51,686
- What's the matter?

480
00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:53,809
- My feet are killing me.

481
00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:54,982
Why didn't you tell
me we needed oil

482
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:57,025
before I went back
for the gas, Sam.

483
00:26:57,991 --> 00:26:59,481
- Because I gave
you a 50 dollar bill

484
00:26:59,493 --> 00:27:01,234
and the gas was only five bucks.

485
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,781
Maybe you'd come back,
maybe you wouldn't.

486
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:05,155
I couldn't take
that chance, angel.

487
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:06,701
- Don't you trust me, Sam?

488
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:08,119
- Trust you?

489
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:12,291
The last time that I trusted
a dame was in Paris in 1940.

490
00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:15,039
She said she was going out
to get a bottle of wine.

491
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:18,463
Two hours later, the
Germans marched into France.

492
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:20,552
- Oh, I'm sorry, Sam.

493
00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:22,263
- Sorry nothing,
give me my change.

494
00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:27,101
(suspenseful music)

495
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,681
- Dinner will be at nine, sir.

496
00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,899
I'll have the maid
bring up your chocolate.

497
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,893
- [Milo] Oh, one
moment, my good man.

498
00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:36,904
- Sir?

499
00:27:52,462 --> 00:27:54,169
- Thank you, that will be all.

500
00:27:57,843 --> 00:27:59,299
He's blind all right.

501
00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:00,919
Those were my funniest faces.

502
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:05,427
(suspenseful music)

503
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:13,431
(trunk creaks)

504
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:15,524
- Not exactly the
Copacabana, is it?

505
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,643
- I don't feel good
about this, Sam.

506
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:20,237
Maybe tonight's the
night your luck runs out.

507
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,240
- Maybe so.

508
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,154
There's a number on the
wall for all of us, angel,

509
00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:25,242
and if tonight's the night

510
00:28:25,245 --> 00:28:26,610
they pick mine, so be it.

511
00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:29,910
After you, sweetheart.

512
00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:34,327
- First kiss me, Sam.

513
00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:35,794
- I don't kiss.

514
00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:37,333
- Just this once, Sam.

515
00:28:37,341 --> 00:28:39,548
- I don't like kissing,
now leave me alone.

516
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:44,011
(suspenseful music)

517
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:49,050
(woman screams)

518
00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:52,886
(suspenseful music)

519
00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:54,764
- My god!

520
00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:56,982
He's dead. - I beg your pardon?

521
00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:58,441
- Sam Diamond, the
man I worked for

522
00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,732
is lying out there, he's
been crushed to death.

523
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:03,776
I'm gonna faint, you catch me.

524
00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:06,659
- Madame?

525
00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:07,697
Madame, where are you?

526
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:10,529
- All right, hold
it right there,

527
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:12,406
freeze, Blinky,
get your hands up,

528
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:13,703
turn your face to the wall.

529
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,132
All right, angel,
you can get up now.

530
00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:23,671
Turn around please.

531
00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:29,056
Your concrete Christmas
present arrived

532
00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:30,470
about two seconds early,

533
00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:31,842
no thanks to you.

534
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:35,062
- I apologize for any
unfortunate mishaps, sir.

535
00:29:35,065 --> 00:29:36,647
May I put my hands down?

536
00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:39,187
- Don't test your
luck, Shakespeare.

537
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:42,277
I got your little
invitation for dinner.

538
00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:45,239
But I didn't realize, I was
gonna be the main course.

539
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:50,277
I had a kid brother
who got it the same way

540
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,826
working on a case just
like this two years ago.

541
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:57,080
That boy would have
been 63 on Tuesday.

542
00:29:58,338 --> 00:29:59,669
For two cents, I'd
like to take this...

543
00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:02,335
- Sam, don't.
- Get him away from me.

544
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,342
Get him away.

545
00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:06,506
Get him away before I stuff him

546
00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:07,844
like one of them tiger trophies

547
00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:11,011
his limey pals like to
hang up on saloon walls.

548
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:12,304
- [Tess] Please.

549
00:30:15,105 --> 00:30:17,597
- He has a dreadful
temper, hasn't he?

550
00:30:17,607 --> 00:30:20,474
(clock bell rings)

551
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:29,608
(suspenseful music)

552
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:31,986
(spring boinging)

553
00:30:31,997 --> 00:30:35,285
Nine o'clock, time for dinner.

554
00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:37,249
Is everything ready, hm?

555
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:42,038
(sniffs) I don't smell anything.

556
00:30:42,049 --> 00:30:44,666
Very light on the
seasoning are you?

557
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,792
Put the soup in the
tureen and keep the squabs

558
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:48,009
on the low flame.

559
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:49,720
I'll serve cocktails.

560
00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:52,139
When you hear the bell,

561
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:55,843
bring out the chilled asparagus

562
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,936
and turn up the
flame on the squabs.

563
00:31:00,984 --> 00:31:02,850
Have you got that?

564
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:05,478
(playful music)

565
00:31:12,162 --> 00:31:14,699
(sultry music)

566
00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:20,246
- You didn't tell me
how I look, Dicky.

567
00:31:20,253 --> 00:31:21,584
- No different than you
always look, darling,

568
00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:23,829
absolutely ravishing.

569
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,672
- Do you love me and adore me?

570
00:31:25,675 --> 00:31:28,087
- I love you and adore you.

571
00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:30,052
You still have the best
tush in high society.

572
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:32,513
- Years of horseback
riding, darling.

573
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:35,133
- Getting to bottom
of things, Charleston?

574
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:36,008
- Ah, Wang.

575
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:36,850
Darling, you remember?

576
00:31:36,853 --> 00:31:39,015
- Of course, nice to
see you, ah, Wang.

577
00:31:39,022 --> 00:31:40,854
- Always a pleasure, Mrs.
Charleston.

578
00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:42,973
- [Dora] What a beautiful gown.

579
00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:44,440
You must tell me
where you got it.

580
00:31:44,444 --> 00:31:47,027
- This, oh, this an old dress.

581
00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:48,030
Had it for years.

582
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,032
Please to meet
adopted son Willie.

583
00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:56,328
- Ah, east meets west in
a most bizarre setting.

584
00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:57,617
- Perrier.
- Charleston.

585
00:31:57,624 --> 00:31:59,160
- I didn't know
you were invited.

586
00:31:59,167 --> 00:31:59,998
You know Wang.

587
00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:01,537
- Ah, yes, I had the pleasure

588
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:03,502
of dining in Shanghai
many years ago

589
00:32:03,505 --> 00:32:04,711
with Inspector Wang.

590
00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:08,457
- Hong ching chu
kow dung woo fong.

591
00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:10,630
- Oh you remember, yes.

592
00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:12,378
- Hong ching ch...

593
00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:13,800
- Kow dung woo fong.

594
00:32:15,809 --> 00:32:18,096
- My wife Dora,
Inspector Perrier.

595
00:32:18,103 --> 00:32:20,390
- Tres charmant.

596
00:32:20,397 --> 00:32:21,512
(Milo coughing)

597
00:32:21,523 --> 00:32:23,764
- I'm sorry, our
room is so dusty.

598
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:26,483
- My fault, I should
have blown first.

599
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:33,402
- Recovered from your
accident, Marcel?

600
00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:34,275
- Oui, monsieur.

601
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,493
But how did you know?

602
00:32:36,496 --> 00:32:38,237
- From the way you bend.

603
00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:39,864
The right side of
your body smashed in

604
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:41,741
by a Citröen, I imagine.

605
00:32:41,751 --> 00:32:44,118
I also thought I detected
a slight metallic sound

606
00:32:44,129 --> 00:32:45,119
which leads me to
believe you had

607
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:47,497
an artificial hip put in, steel?

608
00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:48,918
- Aluminum.

609
00:32:48,925 --> 00:32:51,383
You're as quick as
ever, Charleston.

610
00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:53,127
- And you, Mr. Charleston,

611
00:32:53,138 --> 00:32:57,052
did not approve of Mrs.
Charleston dying hair blond.

612
00:32:57,058 --> 00:32:58,058
- I beg your pardon.

613
00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:02,098
- Mrs. Charleston's hair red.

614
00:33:02,105 --> 00:33:04,972
You have blond
hairs on shoulder.

615
00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:09,731
That means she has dyed
red hair to blonde,

616
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:12,070
and back again to red or else

617
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:13,108
you have been...

618
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:15,649
(dramatic music)

619
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:18,869
Oh, so sorry, Wang is wrong.

620
00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,408
Shall we go to dinner, please?

621
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,991
(playful music)

622
00:33:27,631 --> 00:33:28,712
- Boy, Pop, you sure put your...

623
00:33:28,715 --> 00:33:30,080
- Shut Japanese mouth.

624
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:35,002
- Must be simply ghastly
to have a hip removed.

625
00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:36,094
Does it hurt?

626
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:39,215
- It only hurts in damp weather.
(screams)

627
00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:46,392
- Are you all right?

628
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:50,313
- Pay no attention,
you'll only spoil him.

629
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,526
Get up, get up.

630
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:56,531
- As I was saying,
Mr. Charleston.

631
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:57,535
- Hey, Pop.

632
00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:01,621
- Treacherous road like fresh mushroom.
- Hey, Pop!

633
00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:05,954
I know, clogs stick
tongue out of picture.

634
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:09,586
Treacherous road
like fresh mushroom.

635
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:14,841
(thunder rumbles)

636
00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:16,755
- He's a charming fellow.

637
00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:19,130
- African death mask, died
in some tribal ritual,

638
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:19,971
I should think.

639
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:22,342
- Wonder where others are?

640
00:34:22,352 --> 00:34:23,352
- Others?

641
00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:26,140
What others?

642
00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:28,889
- Invitation to
dinner and murder

643
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:30,732
finally clear to Wang,

644
00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,272
with appearance of
Monsieur Perrier.

645
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,111
- It is obvious

646
00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:36,196
that only the world's
greatest living detectives

647
00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:37,439
are on the guest list.

648
00:34:37,450 --> 00:34:38,815
- Five of us, to
be exact, darling.

649
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:40,317
Three already here.

650
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:42,285
- Two have not yet arrived.

651
00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:44,246
- Miss Jessie
Marbles of England.

652
00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:45,080
- And Mr.-

653
00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,074
- Sam Diamond of San Francisco.

654
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:50,168
I know who you all are.

655
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,753
The lady here in
the rented dress

656
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:54,669
is my secretary and mistress,
Miss Tess Skeffington.

657
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:56,292
- Oh, Sam, don't.

658
00:34:56,303 --> 00:34:58,419
- Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

659
00:34:58,430 --> 00:34:59,716
Ms. Skeffington doesn't like it

660
00:34:59,723 --> 00:35:01,634
when I'm so brutally honest,

661
00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:03,473
but then again, we're
all in a brutal business,

662
00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:04,557
aren't we gentlemen?

663
00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:09,522
- Never consider murder to
be business, Mr. Diamond.

664
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:11,561
- Is that right, Mr. Wang?

665
00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:12,683
Well, maybe not for you,

666
00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:14,435
seeing as how you
put all your money

667
00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:16,528
into vegetables back
in the late 30's.

668
00:35:17,407 --> 00:35:18,772
Maybe our friends
here don't know

669
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:21,115
that you own over 50%
of the beansprouts

670
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:24,111
and the bamboo shoots grown
on the Chinese mainland,

671
00:35:25,165 --> 00:35:26,621
so you folks can imagine

672
00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:29,413
how much chicken chow mein
goes into Mr. Wang's pot

673
00:35:29,419 --> 00:35:32,207
each year, am I getting
those figures right, angel?

674
00:35:32,213 --> 00:35:33,169
- Right, Sam.

675
00:35:33,173 --> 00:35:35,631
- I don't see what this
has to do with anything?

676
00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:37,420
- For you, Mr. Perrier,

677
00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,593
you work both sides
of the big drink.

678
00:35:41,848 --> 00:35:43,134
Pretty good pickings over there,

679
00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:45,098
solving crimes for
them barons and earls

680
00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:47,718
and putting your fancy fees
into private Swiss banks.

681
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:50,229
Three trips a years buys
a lot of hot chocolate,

682
00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:51,471
don't it, Frenchie?

683
00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:52,723
- Now, see here, Diamond.

684
00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:55,726
- No, you see here
Mr. Charleston of New York,

685
00:35:55,737 --> 00:35:57,569
Palm Beach, and Beverly Hills,

686
00:35:58,573 --> 00:36:01,281
crime is just a hobby
to you, isn't it?

687
00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:02,820
It's just a little
game to while away

688
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:04,784
the time while you're
waiting for room service

689
00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:06,244
in some fancy hotel,

690
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:07,703
while your wife's family dough

691
00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:10,825
buys her gin martinis
and your $300 suits.

692
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:12,166
That's a pretty nice arrangement

693
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:13,626
when all you gotta
do is give your wife

694
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:15,212
a little grab every now and then

695
00:36:15,215 --> 00:36:17,297
and take the dog for
a leak twice a day.

696
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,504
Sorry, if I'm
shocking you, ma'am,

697
00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:22,549
but I never had time to
go to finishing school.

698
00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:24,011
My school is the streets

699
00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:26,347
and looking down the barrel
of a pointed revolver

700
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:27,386
is my teacher.

701
00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:29,556
I get $50 a day in expenses

702
00:36:29,562 --> 00:36:31,018
when I can get 'em, gentlemen,

703
00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:33,472
and I owe Ms. Skeffington here

704
00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:35,099
three years and two
months back pay,

705
00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:36,145
isn't that right, angel?

706
00:36:36,152 --> 00:36:38,519
- I don't care about
the money, Sam.

707
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,941
- Neither do I.

708
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:41,109
Now if one of you gentlemen

709
00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:43,153
would be so kind as to
give my lady friend here

710
00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:45,196
a glass of cheap white wine,

711
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,865
I'm going down the
hall to find the can.

712
00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:49,988
Talk so much sometimes,
I forget to go.

713
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:57,209
- Please excuse Sam, he was
shot in the head last week.

714
00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:59,047
He shouldn't even be
out of the hospital.

715
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:00,666
- Well, if you ask me,

716
00:37:00,677 --> 00:37:02,167
I think the fellow's
pretty damned honest.

717
00:37:02,178 --> 00:37:03,384
- [Dora] Dicky, language.

718
00:37:03,388 --> 00:37:06,255
- Miss Jessica
Marbles and nurse.

719
00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:10,225
(dramatic music)

720
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,518
- Oh, Ms. Marbles,
so we finally meet.

721
00:37:19,529 --> 00:37:24,490
I've admired you ever since
I was tiny little detective.

722
00:37:24,784 --> 00:37:26,400
- Thank you, Mr. Wang.

723
00:37:26,411 --> 00:37:29,324
I am Jessica Marbles.

724
00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:32,118
This is Ms. Withers, my nurse.

725
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:34,366
She has been with me 52 years.

726
00:37:34,377 --> 00:37:36,459
I have to take care
of the poor dear now.

727
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:38,870
Are you all right, Ms. Withers?

728
00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:42,006
Do you want your medicine now?

729
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,045
- Well, well.

730
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:46,219
(dramatic music)

731
00:37:46,222 --> 00:37:47,222
- Ooh, ooh.

732
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:52,767
- She's off.

733
00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:55,854
I could use a good stiff
shot, Mr. Charleston.

734
00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:58,098
I believe the booze,
as you call it,

735
00:37:58,109 --> 00:37:59,349
is your department.

736
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,067
- My pleasure, madame.

737
00:38:01,070 --> 00:38:03,061
- Who is the old geezer?

738
00:38:03,072 --> 00:38:04,072
- Sam.

739
00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:07,449
- Jessie, baby.
- Sam Diamond.

740
00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:11,240
- Mr. Diamond, you have a
bullet hole in your back.

741
00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:13,238
- You should see the other guy.

742
00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:15,115
(man groans)

743
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:16,833
- Quiet please.

744
00:38:16,836 --> 00:38:19,919
Observe strange sound.

745
00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:22,290
(man groans)

746
00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:26,627
- My god, it's the face.

747
00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:28,470
It's coming from the face.

748
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:31,090
(man groans)

749
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:33,808
- Actually, he's going through
his final moments of death

750
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:34,643
What could it mean?

751
00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:36,557
- It means dinner, sir.

752
00:38:36,564 --> 00:38:37,645
We have no gong.

753
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,191
(light music)

754
00:38:44,531 --> 00:38:47,193
(glass lightly clings)

755
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,534
- Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to make a toast.

756
00:38:50,537 --> 00:38:52,198
Our host, Mr. Lionel Twain,

757
00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:55,118
is indeed a most unique man.

758
00:38:55,124 --> 00:38:57,491
Point one, he has
succeeded in gathering

759
00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:59,914
the world's five
greatest detectives

760
00:38:59,921 --> 00:39:03,334
to investigate a crime that
has not yet been committed.

761
00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:06,333
Point two, he has
set traps for us,

762
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,709
a bridge that almost collapses,

763
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:11,054
falling statues, does
he mean to kill us?

764
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:13,549
Certainly not yet, he could
have done that at any time.

765
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,052
He's merely trying
to whet our appetites

766
00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:17,769
for the game that is to follow.

767
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:21,891
Point three, why five
detectives instead of one?

768
00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:24,233
Because he intends
to take us all on,

769
00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:25,443
ladies and gentlemen,

770
00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:29,064
a feat that no criminal mind
has heretofore attempted.

771
00:39:29,075 --> 00:39:32,409
Therefore, before this
hellish weekend begins,

772
00:39:32,412 --> 00:39:33,868
I propose that we
raise our wine glasses

773
00:39:33,872 --> 00:39:36,955
in a toast to either
the most beguiling

774
00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:41,418
and charming man or to an
insidious, fiendish madman.

775
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:44,423
Bottoms up.

776
00:39:45,174 --> 00:39:46,174
- One moment, please.

777
00:39:47,135 --> 00:39:49,923
Point four, wine poisoned.

778
00:39:49,929 --> 00:39:51,670
- What?
- What does it mean?

779
00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:54,139
- An ancient
tasteless, colorless,

780
00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:55,803
and odorless Oriental herb.

781
00:39:56,853 --> 00:39:58,469
Kills instantly.

782
00:39:58,479 --> 00:39:59,640
Observe, please.

783
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:03,523
(guests gasps)

784
00:40:03,526 --> 00:40:04,526
- Oh.

785
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:08,273
(guests gasps)

786
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:11,319
Great Scott, Mr. Wang,
you saved our lives.

787
00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:12,782
- Not quite, Mrs. Charleston.

788
00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:15,287
Bon appetit.

789
00:40:16,122 --> 00:40:17,738
- No, no.
- Oh Jesus.

790
00:40:19,584 --> 00:40:21,074
- Since Monsieur
Wang was the only one

791
00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:22,541
who could detect such a poison,

792
00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:24,502
he was the only
one who was tested.

793
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:29,466
Point five, Monsieur Twain is
both beguiling and fiendish.

794
00:40:31,137 --> 00:40:32,137
Murder.

795
00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:33,762
- Oh.

796
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,130
Oh, get a doctor quick.

797
00:40:36,392 --> 00:40:38,759
- No, no-it's alright.
My wine is not poisoned.

798
00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:40,101
It was just a bad year.

799
00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:43,681
- Good work, Mr. Wang.

800
00:40:43,691 --> 00:40:46,854
We must be all on our guard
through every course of the meal.

801
00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:49,778
- You're all
forgetting one thing.

802
00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:53,318
This makes the butler
pretty suspicious

803
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:55,283
since he's the one
who poured the wine.

804
00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:57,527
- Except for the fact,
monsieur, that he is blind.

805
00:40:57,538 --> 00:40:58,619
How would he know
which one to serve

806
00:40:58,623 --> 00:40:59,579
the poisoned glass to?

807
00:40:59,582 --> 00:41:01,619
- That's very simple.

808
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:04,618
Blind people have a very
keen sense of smell.

809
00:41:05,588 --> 00:41:07,078
Since we're all Anglo Saxon

810
00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:09,673
and Mr. Wang's son is Japanese,

811
00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:12,293
it wouldn't be hard to
sniff out the Chinaman.

812
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,919
- [Dick] See how, Diamond,
that's a pretty tacky thing

813
00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:14,715
to say, isn't it?

814
00:41:14,722 --> 00:41:17,464
- [Sam] Well, it's a pretty
tacky world, Mr. Charleston.

815
00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:18,806
Isn't that right, angel?

816
00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:20,266
- Right, Sam.

817
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:21,259
- Quiet, please.

818
00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:22,601
Butler approaches.

819
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,601
- I apologize for the delay.

820
00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:27,815
I seem to be having some
communication problems

821
00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:29,275
with the cook.

822
00:41:29,278 --> 00:41:30,643
- Who poured the wine?

823
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:32,566
- Mr. Twain, sir.

824
00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:36,111
It was left for me on a
tray in the refrigerator.

825
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,860
I was told to give Mr. Wang

826
00:41:37,870 --> 00:41:40,202
the glass with the sticky stem.

827
00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:42,038
- And you didn't
bother to ask why?

828
00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:44,703
- I was lucky to find
the refrigerator, sir.

829
00:41:44,711 --> 00:41:47,043
If I may serve the soup now?

830
00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:48,832
- By all means.

831
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,548
(dramatic music)

832
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:01,720
Oh, yes, I am famished.

833
00:42:01,728 --> 00:42:04,345
(playful music)

834
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:19,609
Where is the soup?

835
00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:21,486
- In your dish, sir.

836
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:23,864
- There is nothing in
my dish but my dish.

837
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:26,374
- I don't understand, sir.

838
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:28,618
- Here, take the spoon.

839
00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:29,960
Taste it for yourself.

840
00:42:31,132 --> 00:42:33,840
(dramatic music)

841
00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:41,344
- I see what you mean, sir.

842
00:42:41,350 --> 00:42:42,181
If you'll excuse me,

843
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:44,802
I'd better have a little
talk with the cook.

844
00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:50,891
- Murder by starvation,
maybe that's his game.

845
00:42:52,487 --> 00:42:53,773
What do you think, Sam?

846
00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:54,611
- I don't know, Jess,

847
00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:56,025
why don't you ask the
moose on the wall?

848
00:42:56,032 --> 00:42:57,943
He's been watching
us since we came in.

849
00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:02,486
(group gasps)

850
00:43:02,497 --> 00:43:03,703
- 10 people for dinner,

851
00:43:03,706 --> 00:43:05,367
and I'm serving
them hot nothing.

852
00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:08,290
You can't get good help today.

853
00:43:15,301 --> 00:43:17,292
You're fired, you
understand, fired.

854
00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:21,129
I want you out, you hear, out.

855
00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:28,723
And stay out.

856
00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:33,437
- Something just occurred to me.

857
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:34,730
The seating's all wrong.

858
00:43:34,737 --> 00:43:36,193
- How so, Mr. Charleston.

859
00:43:36,197 --> 00:43:37,858
- I'm sitting next to Dora.

860
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:38,696
- Well, what's wrong with that?

861
00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:40,406
She's your wife, isn't she?

862
00:43:40,409 --> 00:43:42,741
- Exactly, at a
proper dinner party,

863
00:43:42,745 --> 00:43:44,531
the husband is never
seated next to the wife.

864
00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:46,530
Actually I should be on the
opposite side of the table.

865
00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:48,373
Mr. Wang, will you
change places with me.

866
00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:49,537
- Now, Mr. Charleston.

867
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:50,909
- Now, Mr. Wang.

868
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,333
(distant screams)
(swords clanking)

869
00:43:54,340 --> 00:43:55,125
Just as I thought.

870
00:43:55,133 --> 00:43:57,044
Another test that could
have cost us our lives.

871
00:43:57,051 --> 00:44:00,510
Saved only by the fact that
I am enormously well bred.

872
00:44:00,513 --> 00:44:01,344
- Lucky it wasn't me.

873
00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:02,747
I'd have been
chopped liver by now.

874
00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:06,466
(dramatic music)

875
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:07,308
(crowd shouting)

876
00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:08,472
- Turn on the lights.
- Get back.

877
00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:09,810
- [Wang] Silence, please.

878
00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:11,145
Do not panic.

879
00:44:11,149 --> 00:44:13,311
No person move from place.

880
00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:14,148
- [Sam] Someone just
came into the room.

881
00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:14,983
I hear footsteps.

882
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:17,478
- Oh, God.
- Wait, quiet, everyone.

883
00:44:18,406 --> 00:44:19,612
I smell something.

884
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:21,276
- [Jessie] What is it?

885
00:44:21,284 --> 00:44:22,774
- Good god.

886
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,321
Franks and beans.

887
00:44:24,328 --> 00:44:27,036
- I'm afraid that's
all we have, sir.

888
00:44:27,039 --> 00:44:27,870
- [Dora] Dicky, don't.

889
00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:29,956
You know how I get when
you touch me there.

890
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:31,575
- [Dick] Not me, darling,
I got my hands in my pockets.

891
00:44:31,586 --> 00:44:33,702
- Oh.
- I'm afraid they're my pockets.

892
00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:36,546
- Oh, sorry about that.
- Dicky, behave yourself.

893
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:39,667
(dramatic music)

894
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:42,169
- [Lionel] Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

895
00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:44,342
I am your host, Lionel Twain.

896
00:44:45,266 --> 00:44:47,724
(eerie music)

897
00:44:48,769 --> 00:44:51,636
(mystifying music)

898
00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:02,196
- Good god, what an entrance.

899
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,113
- Oh, a bit theatrical, Ms.
Marbles,

900
00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:07,360
but I do so love illusion.

901
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:10,284
Please forgive my hat,
I'm losing my hair.

902
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:13,033
- I thought Twain was an
older man, say 72, 73.

903
00:45:14,128 --> 00:45:17,621
- 76 to be exact, Mr. Diamond.

904
00:45:17,632 --> 00:45:19,669
How do I look so young?

905
00:45:19,675 --> 00:45:23,339
Quiet simple, a
complete vegetable diet,

906
00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:25,087
12 hours sleep a night,

907
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:28,215
and lots and lots of makeup.

908
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:31,264
I trust you've all
been made comfortable.

909
00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:32,681
- Comfortable, Mr. Twain?

910
00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:36,522
Do you call poisoned wine and
near decapitation comfortable?

911
00:45:36,525 --> 00:45:37,811
- [Lionel] No.

912
00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:39,900
I call it inspiration.

913
00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:41,190
- You still have not explained

914
00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:43,279
the various mechanical
and culinary attempts

915
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:44,943
on our lives, Monsieur Twain.

916
00:45:44,951 --> 00:45:47,818
- Merely games,
Monsieur Perrier.

917
00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:51,037
Pitting wits with
you, so to speak.

918
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,781
- You pit your wits
with me, little man,

919
00:45:52,792 --> 00:45:54,123
and you won't have
your wits to pit with,

920
00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:55,207
know what I mean?

921
00:45:55,211 --> 00:45:57,043
- Sam, you're
spitting on the nurse.

922
00:45:58,047 --> 00:45:59,663
- Sorry, old lady.

923
00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:01,915
Crazy broad should be in bed.

924
00:46:01,926 --> 00:46:04,213
- Mr. Twain, we have been
here nearly four hours,

925
00:46:04,220 --> 00:46:06,086
and there has not been
a hint of a hot dinner

926
00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:07,508
or a cold corpse.

927
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,847
I must therefore bid you adieu.

928
00:46:09,850 --> 00:46:11,716
- I bid one adieu as well.

929
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:14,264
- No one is leaving this house.

930
00:46:14,272 --> 00:46:19,233
(dramatic music) (loud clanking)

931
00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:26,189
(light tapping)

932
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,737
- What meaning of
this, Mr. Twain?

933
00:46:28,744 --> 00:46:30,360
- I will tell you, Mr. Wang,

934
00:46:30,371 --> 00:46:33,079
if you can tell me why
a man who possesses

935
00:46:33,082 --> 00:46:34,572
one of the most brilliant minds

936
00:46:34,583 --> 00:46:36,699
of this century can't
say his prepositions

937
00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:39,203
or articles, the, Mr. Wang,

938
00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:40,874
what is the meaning of this?

939
00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:42,713
- That's what I said.

940
00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:44,833
What meaning of this?

941
00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:48,053
- The meaning of this
is that I have decided

942
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:50,638
to prove beyond a
shadow of a doubt

943
00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:54,054
that the greatest living
criminologist in the world

944
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:55,847
is sitting at this table,

945
00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:57,766
and you are all looking at him.

946
00:46:58,858 --> 00:47:01,190
No, don't look at each other.

947
00:47:01,193 --> 00:47:03,355
Look at me, I'm the greatest.

948
00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:05,228
I'm number one.

949
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,776
- To me, you look like
number two, know what I mean?

950
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:10,616
- What does he mean, Ms.
Skeffington?

951
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,986
- I'll tell you later,
it's disgusting.

952
00:47:12,997 --> 00:47:15,034
- In all your
various adventures,

953
00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:17,658
monsieurs and madames,
not one of you

954
00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:20,160
has ever had an unsolved murder.

955
00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:23,380
Your reputations exist
on this single fact,

956
00:47:24,425 --> 00:47:27,668
but what would the world say

957
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:30,466
if the five greatest
living detectives

958
00:47:30,473 --> 00:47:32,680
found themselves trapped
in a country house

959
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:36,221
at the weekend, shut off
from the outside world,

960
00:47:36,228 --> 00:47:39,311
only to discover a
dead body on the floor

961
00:47:39,315 --> 00:47:42,649
stabbed 12 times in the
back with a butcher's knife,

962
00:47:42,651 --> 00:47:47,566
and not one of you,
able to solve the crime.

963
00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:49,609
- You mean murder?

964
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:51,358
- Dora, please,
we're talking shop.

965
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:53,827
- Yes, murder, Mrs. Charleston.

966
00:47:53,829 --> 00:47:55,866
On the stroke of midnight,

967
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:59,241
someone in this house is going
to be viciously murdered.

968
00:47:59,251 --> 00:48:02,664
- Left out one small
detail, Mr. Twain.

969
00:48:04,048 --> 00:48:05,288
Who victim?

970
00:48:06,384 --> 00:48:08,967
- Is the, is the,

971
00:48:08,969 --> 00:48:10,880
who is the victim?

972
00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:11,969
That drives me crazy.

973
00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:14,634
- Sounds like a
short ride to me.

974
00:48:14,642 --> 00:48:16,258
- Does it, Mr. Diamond.

975
00:48:16,268 --> 00:48:19,056
Well, we shall see who is sane

976
00:48:19,063 --> 00:48:20,929
and who is crazy around here.

977
00:48:22,983 --> 00:48:25,725
Mr. Wang, the victim is here

978
00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:28,569
at this very table,
at this very moment,

979
00:48:28,572 --> 00:48:32,861
and so too, ladies and
gentlemen, is the murderer.

980
00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:35,572
- Murder-poo?

981
00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:36,694
- [Jessica] Yes, dear.

982
00:48:36,705 --> 00:48:39,493
We're going to have
a lovely Murder-poo.

983
00:48:40,709 --> 00:48:41,995
- Why don't you
push her wheelchair

984
00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:44,539
down a driveway, we
got business here.

985
00:48:44,547 --> 00:48:46,584
You say you know
who's gonna get it?

986
00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:47,671
- Intimately.

987
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:49,541
- And you know how the
crime is to be committed?

988
00:48:49,552 --> 00:48:50,383
- [Lionel] Definitely.

989
00:48:50,386 --> 00:48:52,923
- And exactly what time
murder to take place?

990
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,888
- [Lionel] The
murder, precisely.

991
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:57,598
- Well, I know it's
none of my business,

992
00:48:57,601 --> 00:49:00,343
but doesn't that mean that
you're the murderer, Mr. Twain?

993
00:49:00,354 --> 00:49:03,972
- No wives, I refuse to
discuss this with wives.

994
00:49:03,983 --> 00:49:05,769
- Dora's quite right,
all fingers do seem

995
00:49:05,776 --> 00:49:08,017
to point to you, not much
of a challenge, I'd say.

996
00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:11,146
- Shall I make it more
interesting, Mr. Charleston?

997
00:49:11,157 --> 00:49:14,400
One million dollars to the
one who solves the crime

998
00:49:14,410 --> 00:49:17,277
wagered against
your reputations.

999
00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:19,620
One million dollars
in tax free cash,

1000
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:22,035
in addition, all
the paperback rights

1001
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:23,703
and the film sale.

1002
00:49:23,711 --> 00:49:25,827
It's 11 o'clock, amigos,

1003
00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:29,502
just one hour before death
strikes someone in this room.

1004
00:49:29,508 --> 00:49:32,216
See ya at midnight, toodle ooh.

1005
00:49:33,304 --> 00:49:35,671
(dramatic music)

1006
00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:36,842
- See here, Mr. Twain.

1007
00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:40,099
- [Jessica] He's gone.

1008
00:49:40,102 --> 00:49:42,343
- No, he's not, he's down there.

1009
00:49:42,354 --> 00:49:43,640
- Oh.

1010
00:49:43,647 --> 00:49:45,763
- Fast little bunny
rabbit, ain't you?

1011
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:47,640
- I never moved, Mr. Diamond.

1012
00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:49,233
I'm still down there.

1013
00:49:49,236 --> 00:49:51,273
A little stunt
done with mirrors.

1014
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:52,280
- Is that so?

1015
00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:55,481
Willing to risk
seven years had luck?

1016
00:49:55,493 --> 00:49:56,904
- Try it, Mr. Diamond.

1017
00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:58,743
- It's your funeral, butterball.

1018
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,246
- Wait, wait.

1019
00:50:02,249 --> 00:50:03,831
Sometimes it doesn't work.

1020
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:09,295
You've won this
round, Mr. Diamond.

1021
00:50:09,298 --> 00:50:11,881
My turn comes at midnight.

1022
00:50:11,884 --> 00:50:14,592
(dramatic music)

1023
00:50:20,684 --> 00:50:22,721
- I hope he knows how
to stop that thing.

1024
00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:26,771
- If you ask me, anybody
that offers a million bucks

1025
00:50:26,774 --> 00:50:28,856
to solve a crime that
ain't been committed yet,

1026
00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:31,476
there's a lot more
upstairs than his hair.

1027
00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:32,477
- What do we all do now?

1028
00:50:32,488 --> 00:50:33,774
Just sit around and
wait for one of us

1029
00:50:33,781 --> 00:50:34,691
to be butchered?

1030
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,609
- And what has
happened to the butler?

1031
00:50:36,617 --> 00:50:37,857
Why has he not returned?

1032
00:50:38,827 --> 00:50:40,363
With our dinner?

1033
00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:41,953
Go look for him.
- Oui, monsieur.

1034
00:50:41,956 --> 00:50:44,243
- No, no one to leave this room.

1035
00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:45,536
- [Willie] Why not, Pa?

1036
00:50:45,543 --> 00:50:48,035
- Twain say victim
at this table.

1037
00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:49,911
"If we a" stay together,

1038
00:50:49,922 --> 00:50:52,209
crime cannot be committed
without witnesses.

1039
00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:55,208
- He's right, you're one
smart Chinaman, Mr. Wang.

1040
00:50:55,219 --> 00:50:57,005
- I suggest we all join hands.

1041
00:50:57,012 --> 00:50:59,970
The chain is stronger if
the links are unbroken.

1042
00:50:59,974 --> 00:51:01,180
Join hands, please.

1043
00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:06,102
(clock ticks)

1044
00:51:13,946 --> 00:51:14,946
- Stop that.

1045
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,779
Stop it, I said.

1046
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:22,618
- What is it, Diamond?

1047
00:51:22,621 --> 00:51:24,362
- The nurse is giving
my palm the finger,

1048
00:51:24,373 --> 00:51:25,989
the dirty, old broad.

1049
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:27,616
- Naughty, naughty Ms. Withers.

1050
00:51:27,626 --> 00:51:30,835
(Ms. Withers laughing)

1051
00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:34,500
- Good God.

1052
00:51:34,508 --> 00:51:36,124
- What is it?
- Look.

1053
00:51:41,015 --> 00:51:42,380
- [Tess] What is she doing?

1054
00:51:42,391 --> 00:51:43,631
- I think she's screaming.

1055
00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:44,473
- What is it?

1056
00:51:44,476 --> 00:51:45,466
What's happened?

1057
00:51:45,477 --> 00:51:46,717
- Something wrong in kitchen.

1058
00:51:46,729 --> 00:51:47,890
- With our dinner.

1059
00:51:47,896 --> 00:51:49,182
- No, patience, patience.

1060
00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:50,304
- Is someone in there?

1061
00:51:50,316 --> 00:51:51,898
- Someone in the
kitchen with dinner?

1062
00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:53,311
- Cook cannot speak or hear.

1063
00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:56,443
Ah.

1064
00:51:56,447 --> 00:51:59,189
I think butler is dead.

1065
00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:01,065
My name is Yetta.

1066
00:52:01,076 --> 00:52:03,113
I don't work Thursdays.

1067
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,736
- Ask her if she
sleeps in, Dicky.

1068
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:06,078
- We must investigate
this, Wang.

1069
00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:06,946
Someone has to go.

1070
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:07,992
- Not alone.

1071
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,412
Mr. Charleston, Mr. Diamond,
stay with others,

1072
00:52:10,419 --> 00:52:14,458
Ms. Marble, Mr. Perrier and
Wang, we'll investigate.

1073
00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:18,715
- Oh.

1074
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:19,709
Oh, that's right.

1075
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,176
Just let it all out.

1076
00:52:22,681 --> 00:52:23,681
Here.

1077
00:52:25,059 --> 00:52:26,595
Oh dear.

1078
00:52:26,602 --> 00:52:27,683
(suspenseful music)

1079
00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:28,892
- Careful Wang.

1080
00:52:28,896 --> 00:52:30,682
Fingerprints.

1081
00:52:30,689 --> 00:52:31,520
- Ah.

1082
00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:32,523
Yes.

1083
00:52:33,359 --> 00:52:34,849
- Here, take my handkerchief.

1084
00:52:36,111 --> 00:52:39,069
(suspenseful music)

1085
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:50,414
- Is he?

1086
00:52:50,417 --> 00:52:51,248
- He looks like...

1087
00:52:51,251 --> 00:52:52,251
- Seems like...

1088
00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:55,544
- Touch nothing!

1089
00:52:55,547 --> 00:52:56,753
- Fingerprints.

1090
00:52:56,757 --> 00:52:58,748
- Quite so.

1091
00:52:58,759 --> 00:52:59,749
Pencil.

1092
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:00,591
- Pencil.

1093
00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,552
(suspenseful music)

1094
00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,234
- No pulse.

1095
00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:18,945
No heartbeat.

1096
00:53:20,447 --> 00:53:25,192
If condition does not
change, this man is dead.

1097
00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:26,442
- No signs of foul play.

1098
00:53:27,371 --> 00:53:29,487
- Hold on, what's this?

1099
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:35,702
What do you make
of this, Perrier?

1100
00:53:35,713 --> 00:53:36,623
- Poisoned.

1101
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:40,123
<i>N'est-ce pas?
- Non, n'est-ce pas. Cocoa.</i>

1102
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:42,751
- At last, we have our murder.

1103
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:44,126
- Not quite.

1104
00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:46,971
Twain say murder victim
sitting at our table.

1105
00:53:46,974 --> 00:53:48,885
Butler not at our table.

1106
00:53:48,892 --> 00:53:52,635
Butler only killed to
divert us from real murder

1107
00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,307
still to come.

1108
00:53:54,314 --> 00:53:55,725
(loudly thumping) - Look.

1109
00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:56,564
- Ah.

1110
00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:57,807
- One of the knives is missing.

1111
00:53:58,777 --> 00:54:00,643
The butcher's knife, I'll wager.

1112
00:54:00,654 --> 00:54:01,940
- That means the others
are still in danger.

1113
00:54:01,947 --> 00:54:03,403
- What is exact time, please?

1114
00:54:03,407 --> 00:54:04,407
- Yes, yes.

1115
00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:08,026
- 11:31 and 56 seconds.

1116
00:54:08,036 --> 00:54:10,698
57, 58.

1117
00:54:10,706 --> 00:54:13,915
Tell me when to stop, 59, 60.

1118
00:54:13,917 --> 00:54:15,999
- 28 minutes to main murder.

1119
00:54:16,003 --> 00:54:17,368
Quickly back to dining room.

1120
00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:19,120
Must all be together
at midnight.

1121
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:24,838
- Wait a minute. (all gasping)

1122
00:54:24,845 --> 00:54:27,837
(suspenseful music)

1123
00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,304
- [Wang] Hankerchief.

1124
00:54:29,308 --> 00:54:32,266
(suspenseful music)

1125
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:42,526
- What is it?

1126
00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:44,111
- A bill.

1127
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:45,821
Everything he has been
arranging for tonight,

1128
00:54:45,824 --> 00:54:47,280
the butler, the cook, the food,

1129
00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:48,991
the dining room
chairs, everything.

1130
00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:50,905
- You mean?
- Yes.

1131
00:54:50,913 --> 00:54:53,905
This entire murder
has been catered.

1132
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,498
- Wow.

1133
00:54:56,502 --> 00:54:58,584
(suspenseful music)

1134
00:54:58,587 --> 00:55:00,498
- It's Twain's doing,
the man is mad.

1135
00:55:00,506 --> 00:55:01,837
- Yes, but no fool.

1136
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:03,126
I only hope we are in time.

1137
00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:05,215
- Door locked.

1138
00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:06,960
- Sam Diamond probably
locked it from the inside

1139
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:08,210
as a precaution.

1140
00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:10,008
- Good thinking on Diamond head.

1141
00:55:10,015 --> 00:55:11,005
(knocks on door)

1142
00:55:11,016 --> 00:55:13,974
- [Milo] Diamond, it's Perrier,
it's all right, open up.

1143
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,177
(knocks on door)

1144
00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:18,850
Diamond, Charleston,
are you in there?

1145
00:55:18,857 --> 00:55:20,564
- Quickly go back to kitchen,

1146
00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,685
get dining room key from
pocket of dead butler.

1147
00:55:23,695 --> 00:55:25,277
- You didn't have
to say dead butler.

1148
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,817
It's bad enough I have to
put my hand in his pocket.

1149
00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:33,787
(knocks on door)
(suspenseful music)

1150
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:37,490
(playful music)

1151
00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:42,004
Holy merde.

1152
00:55:44,424 --> 00:55:47,382
(suspenseful music)

1153
00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:49,718
(knocks on door)

1154
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:53,806
- [Jessica] Ms. Skeffington, Ms.
Skeffington, Ms. Withers.

1155
00:55:53,809 --> 00:55:54,844
- He's gone.

1156
00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:55,683
- Who's gone?

1157
00:55:55,686 --> 00:55:56,721
- The butler, his
body is missing.

1158
00:55:56,728 --> 00:55:58,264
Here is the key.

1159
00:55:58,272 --> 00:55:59,137
- If butler gone,

1160
00:55:59,147 --> 00:56:00,228
where you find key?

1161
00:56:00,232 --> 00:56:01,597
- In his pocket.
- What pocket?

1162
00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:02,894
- The butler's pocket.

1163
00:56:02,901 --> 00:56:04,733
- Butler gone but
pocket still there?

1164
00:56:04,736 --> 00:56:06,852
- Exactly, somebody
has stolen his body

1165
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,275
but left his clothes there.

1166
00:56:08,282 --> 00:56:09,864
- Quickly, open the door.

1167
00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:11,653
Something is very wrong here.

1168
00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:12,660
- Ah.

1169
00:56:15,163 --> 00:56:17,279
(dramatic music)

1170
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:18,622
- Hello?

1171
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:20,457
Where is everyone?

1172
00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:23,418
- Room filled with empty people.

1173
00:56:23,422 --> 00:56:24,878
- I'll try the other door.

1174
00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:29,629
It's locked from the inside.

1175
00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:31,798
- Strange, both doors
locked from inside,

1176
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:32,840
yet no way out.

1177
00:56:32,848 --> 00:56:34,759
- I don't like it,
I don't like it one bit.

1178
00:56:34,766 --> 00:56:36,973
- I like it but do
not understand it.

1179
00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:41,012
Maybe other way out of
room, secret passageway.

1180
00:56:43,358 --> 00:56:47,522
- [Lionel] Wrong, there are no
secret passageways, Mr. Wang.

1181
00:56:47,529 --> 00:56:48,610
- You spoke?

1182
00:56:48,614 --> 00:56:50,196
- No.
- Not me.

1183
00:56:50,198 --> 00:56:51,484
- [Lionel] I spoke.

1184
00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:54,737
- Ah, there.

1185
00:56:54,745 --> 00:56:56,656
Voice come from cow on wall.

1186
00:56:56,663 --> 00:56:59,872
- [Lionel] Moose,
moose, you imbecile!

1187
00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:00,910
- Where are they?

1188
00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:03,205
What have you done with the
others, you short madman?!

1189
00:57:03,211 --> 00:57:05,953
- [Lionel] Ah-ha,
stumped already.

1190
00:57:05,964 --> 00:57:08,376
Need some clues,
Monsieur Perrier?

1191
00:57:08,383 --> 00:57:10,044
- Clues, I need
no clues from you,

1192
00:57:10,052 --> 00:57:12,760
I find my own clues,
you demented lollipop.

1193
00:57:12,763 --> 00:57:13,594
- Calm yourself.

1194
00:57:13,597 --> 00:57:14,928
Man who argue with cow on wall

1195
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:16,343
is like train without wheels,

1196
00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:17,431
very soon get nowhere.

1197
00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:19,141
- Oh, be quiet, I'm sick
of your fortune cookies.

1198
00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:21,055
- Oh, man who is sick
of fortune cookies...

1199
00:57:21,063 --> 00:57:21,894
- Did you hear what I just said?

1200
00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:22,807
- Is like so many
Chinese restaurant.

1201
00:57:22,814 --> 00:57:23,645
- I just said I was
sick of fortune cookies.

1202
00:57:23,649 --> 00:57:24,605
- He gets sick of...

1203
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:25,439
- Quiet, quiet, just, please.

1204
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:26,807
- Cow talk again.

1205
00:57:26,818 --> 00:57:29,435
- [Lionel] In need of a hint, Ms.
Marbles?

1206
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,653
"You a" mistake what you assume,

1207
00:57:31,657 --> 00:57:34,615
they never left the dining room.

1208
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:36,780
Count the numbers one to 10,

1209
00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:40,405
turn the knob and try again.
(laughs maniacally)

1210
00:57:40,415 --> 00:57:42,326
- What the devil does that mean?

1211
00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:43,699
They never left the dining room.

1212
00:57:43,710 --> 00:57:44,825
Certainly they did.

1213
00:57:44,836 --> 00:57:46,668
- Do not mistake what
you assume just now,

1214
00:57:46,672 --> 00:57:47,833
quick, counting wrong.

1215
00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:48,795
- What for?

1216
00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:50,881
- We assume others not here,

1217
00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:53,091
but cow say they
are in dining room.

1218
00:57:53,095 --> 00:57:55,302
Let us look once more.

1219
00:57:58,266 --> 00:57:59,756
Please close door, Mr. Perrier.

1220
00:58:02,521 --> 00:58:03,852
- I cannot see what possibly...

1221
00:58:03,855 --> 00:58:04,845
- Please, quiet,

1222
00:58:04,856 --> 00:58:06,722
seven, eight, nine, 10.

1223
00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:11,193
Ms. Marbles, be so kind
as to open door, please.

1224
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:18,951
- Where were you, Wang?

1225
00:58:18,954 --> 00:58:20,570
We was worried.

1226
00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:21,570
- What do you mean
where were we?

1227
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:22,946
Where were you? - We were here.

1228
00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:24,744
- Didn't you say not to
leave the dining room?

1229
00:58:24,751 --> 00:58:25,786
- And you have
not left this room

1230
00:58:25,794 --> 00:58:26,750
since we were gone?

1231
00:58:26,753 --> 00:58:28,664
- Certainly not.
- No, monsieur.

1232
00:58:28,672 --> 00:58:33,508
- Answer simple but
question very hard.

1233
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:34,545
- Where's the butler?

1234
00:58:34,553 --> 00:58:36,339
- Butler completely murdered.

1235
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:40,556
- Poisoned, yet one of the
butcher's knives is missing.

1236
00:58:40,559 --> 00:58:42,391
- We came back
here to inform you,

1237
00:58:42,394 --> 00:58:43,759
but the doors were locked.

1238
00:58:43,770 --> 00:58:46,512
- I went back to get the key
out of the butler's pocket.

1239
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,139
His body was missing.

1240
00:58:48,150 --> 00:58:49,436
He'd been stripped naked

1241
00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:51,650
and his clothes
left in his place.

1242
00:58:51,653 --> 00:58:52,859
- I don't understand.

1243
00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:56,197
Why would anybody want to
steal a dead, naked body?

1244
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:57,985
- Well, dear, there
are people who...

1245
00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:02,490
- Oh that's tacky.

1246
00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:04,329
That's really tacky.

1247
00:59:04,332 --> 00:59:07,870
- Then we returned
here, opened the door,

1248
00:59:07,878 --> 00:59:09,664
but the room was empty.

1249
00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:10,671
You were all gone.

1250
00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:14,882
Oh, the moose head
told us not to assume

1251
00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:17,502
that you had ever
left the dining room,

1252
00:59:17,512 --> 00:59:21,426
so we counted to 10
and tried it again.

1253
00:59:22,601 --> 00:59:23,601
And here you were.

1254
00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:27,682
I'm not one to use hyperbole,
ladies and gentlemen,

1255
00:59:27,689 --> 00:59:29,305
but I'll tell you this,

1256
00:59:29,316 --> 00:59:30,681
the first time in my life,

1257
00:59:30,692 --> 00:59:32,933
I had the caca scared out of me.

1258
00:59:34,905 --> 00:59:36,020
- I like her.

1259
00:59:36,031 --> 00:59:37,487
I really like her.

1260
00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:39,489
(gun fires)

1261
00:59:39,493 --> 00:59:41,279
- Gunshots, monsieur.
- Gunshots, Pop.

1262
00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:43,618
- Gunshots, Sam.
- Gunshots, Dicky.

1263
00:59:43,622 --> 00:59:45,488
- Huge.

1264
00:59:45,499 --> 00:59:47,661
- All right, this time
Charleston and I will go.

1265
00:59:47,667 --> 00:59:49,624
Everybody else stay in the room.

1266
00:59:49,628 --> 00:59:50,993
Let's go Charleston.

1267
00:59:51,004 --> 00:59:53,621
(curious music)

1268
00:59:56,551 --> 00:59:59,794
- What do you make
of all of this, Wang?

1269
01:00:02,224 --> 01:00:04,306
- Is confusing.

1270
01:00:04,309 --> 01:00:06,175
- [Lionel] It, it is confusing.

1271
01:00:06,186 --> 01:00:09,224
Say your goddamn pronouns.

1272
01:00:09,231 --> 01:00:10,231
- Oh.

1273
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:14,107
(suspenseful music)

1274
01:00:15,070 --> 01:00:16,105
- Open the door.

1275
01:00:17,906 --> 01:00:18,737
- Good god!

1276
01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:20,606
- What is it?
- He's back.

1277
01:00:24,538 --> 01:00:25,538
And au naturel.

1278
01:00:26,832 --> 01:00:27,832
- I don't get it.

1279
01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:31,040
First they steal the body
and leave the clothes,

1280
01:00:32,462 --> 01:00:35,329
then they steal the clothes
and bring the body back.

1281
01:00:35,340 --> 01:00:37,126
Who would do a thing like that?

1282
01:00:37,134 --> 01:00:39,375
- Possibly some
deranged dry cleaner.

1283
01:00:39,386 --> 01:00:41,297
- What about the gunshots?

1284
01:00:41,304 --> 01:00:42,635
Why shoot some poor slob

1285
01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:44,471
when he's already been poisoned?

1286
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:45,839
- True, we heard the gunshots

1287
01:00:45,851 --> 01:00:47,057
but I don't see
any bullet holes,

1288
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:49,472
not on his head, his neck,
his back, or his chest.

1289
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:50,594
- Look allover him.

1290
01:00:51,606 --> 01:00:52,641
- All over his body?

1291
01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:54,014
- Somebody's gotta do it.

1292
01:00:54,025 --> 01:00:55,311
I'm busy standing guard.

1293
01:00:55,318 --> 01:00:57,309
- Why don't I stand guard,
you look all over the body.

1294
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:59,231
- All right, we'll take turns.

1295
01:00:59,239 --> 01:01:00,650
You look over the
first dead, naked body

1296
01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:02,864
that we find and I'll
look over the second.

1297
01:01:04,536 --> 01:01:06,243
(thunder rumbles)

1298
01:01:06,246 --> 01:01:08,408
Hurry up, we only
got eight minutes.

1299
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:14,420
Oh.

1300
01:01:16,631 --> 01:01:17,462
You see anything?

1301
01:01:17,465 --> 01:01:19,456
- No, I don't see a
bullet hole anywhere.

1302
01:01:21,136 --> 01:01:23,173
Hold it, I see something.

1303
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:24,841
- What is it?

1304
01:01:24,848 --> 01:01:26,179
- Oh, forget it, my mistake.

1305
01:01:26,183 --> 01:01:27,139
Not a bullet hole.

1306
01:01:27,142 --> 01:01:29,349
- If he wasn't plugged,
what about the shots?

1307
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,477
- Divide and conquer?
- What?

1308
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:33,595
- Another diversion.

1309
01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:35,723
He gives us meaningless
clues to confuse us,

1310
01:01:35,734 --> 01:01:37,725
dangles red herrings
before our eyes,

1311
01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:39,397
bedazzles us with
bizarre banalities,

1312
01:01:39,404 --> 01:01:40,894
while all the time
precious seconds

1313
01:01:40,906 --> 01:01:42,863
are ticking away towards
the truly terrible

1314
01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:44,356
murder still to come.

1315
01:01:44,367 --> 01:01:45,323
- You're good, Charleston.

1316
01:01:45,327 --> 01:01:46,488
You're not my kind of cop,

1317
01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:48,451
but you're smart
and you smell good.

1318
01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:49,911
You're not a pansy, I know that,

1319
01:01:49,915 --> 01:01:51,872
but what the hell are you?

1320
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,365
- Classy, I suppose.

1321
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:55,708
- Dames always fall for a
guy like you, don't they?

1322
01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:56,873
- I don't see what
possible interest...

1323
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:58,120
- Did you ever make
it with a waitress?

1324
01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,451
- I beg your pardon.
- A waitress.

1325
01:02:00,300 --> 01:02:02,257
Big fat waitress.

1326
01:02:02,260 --> 01:02:04,217
I don't know what them
society dames are like

1327
01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:05,211
in the kip, but you
ain't never had it

1328
01:02:05,222 --> 01:02:08,135
till you made it with a
big, fat blondie waitress.

1329
01:02:09,184 --> 01:02:10,640
If you're ever interested,

1330
01:02:10,644 --> 01:02:11,644
you give me a call.

1331
01:02:17,859 --> 01:02:19,691
- Bizarre little twit.

1332
01:02:19,694 --> 01:02:21,184
- Still not sure about this guy.

1333
01:02:23,114 --> 01:02:26,573
(light suspenseful music)

1334
01:02:29,246 --> 01:02:30,281
What are you doing?

1335
01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:32,529
- I had to wash
my hands after...

1336
01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:33,371
- Good.

1337
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:34,206
- I'll be out in a minute.

1338
01:02:34,209 --> 01:02:36,075
- I'll go ahead,
I'll tell the others.

1339
01:02:38,213 --> 01:02:40,329
Well, you're never gonna
believe this, folks.

1340
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:43,666
All right, where are you?

1341
01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:45,259
What the hell is going on here?

1342
01:02:46,596 --> 01:02:48,712
Charleston, wash up
later, we got problems.

1343
01:02:55,438 --> 01:02:56,553
Locked from the inside.

1344
01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:01,266
That can only mean one thing,

1345
01:03:02,862 --> 01:03:05,320
and I don't know what it is.

1346
01:03:05,323 --> 01:03:06,323
Charleston.

1347
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:12,744
You're never gonna believe...

1348
01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:15,114
(dog growls)

1349
01:03:23,216 --> 01:03:24,752
- I said I'd be out in a minute.

1350
01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:34,929
- I don't remember
closing that door.

1351
01:03:42,110 --> 01:03:43,396
- What happened?

1352
01:03:45,864 --> 01:03:48,777
- [Jessica] What
were the gun shots?

1353
01:03:51,202 --> 01:03:53,034
- Did anybody leave this
room since we were gone?

1354
01:03:53,038 --> 01:03:55,405
- So it happened to
you, too, Mr. Diamond?

1355
01:03:55,415 --> 01:03:56,530
- Where's my Dicky?

1356
01:03:57,959 --> 01:03:59,825
Sorry, where's my husband?

1357
01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:01,372
- Two minutes to midnight,

1358
01:04:01,379 --> 01:04:03,336
in case anyone is interested.

1359
01:04:03,340 --> 01:04:05,502
- It ain't possible,
I'm telling you.

1360
01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:06,964
Eight people in a dining room,

1361
01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:10,506
can't turn into an
empty room unless...

1362
01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:11,844
- [Tess] Unless what Sam?

1363
01:04:11,848 --> 01:04:13,680
- Unless it never happened.

1364
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:15,424
- I see your point, Diamond.

1365
01:04:15,435 --> 01:04:17,517
When is a dining room
filled with people

1366
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,261
not a dining room
filled with people.

1367
01:04:19,272 --> 01:04:20,979
- [Jessica] When there's
two dining rooms?

1368
01:04:20,982 --> 01:04:22,143
- Exactly.

1369
01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:23,857
- Two dining rooms.

1370
01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:25,646
- Two dining rooms,
two of everything.

1371
01:04:25,653 --> 01:04:27,894
Twain, electronic genius.

1372
01:04:27,906 --> 01:04:30,523
- He has devised a
way to move this room

1373
01:04:30,533 --> 01:04:33,321
quickly and silently
in the flash of an eye,

1374
01:04:33,328 --> 01:04:36,320
to be replaced by an exact
duplicate of this very room.

1375
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:37,571
- I knew it all the time.

1376
01:04:37,582 --> 01:04:38,993
- Oh please.

1377
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,206
I shall demonstrate.

1378
01:04:40,210 --> 01:04:42,417
I shall walk out
the door, close it,

1379
01:04:42,420 --> 01:04:43,626
knock three times, enter,

1380
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:45,837
and you will all
be gone, observe.

1381
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:46,840
M-hm, m-hm, m-hm.

1382
01:04:48,635 --> 01:04:51,343
(knocks on door)

1383
01:04:53,056 --> 01:04:54,763
- I have it all figured out.

1384
01:04:54,766 --> 01:04:56,848
There are two of everything.

1385
01:04:56,851 --> 01:04:59,092
- Oh, Dicky, that's old news.

1386
01:04:59,104 --> 01:05:01,345
- All right, everybody
take their seats.

1387
01:05:01,356 --> 01:05:03,142
- [Tess] I'm scared,
Sam, hold me.

1388
01:05:03,149 --> 01:05:04,435
- Hold yourself, I'm busy.

1389
01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:07,772
Take the same seats
you had before.

1390
01:05:07,779 --> 01:05:08,894
- 40 seconds.

1391
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:11,146
I'm very worried about
Monsieur Perrier.

1392
01:05:11,157 --> 01:05:12,739
- I'm going to look for him.

1393
01:05:12,742 --> 01:05:15,234
- No, sit please, no
one to leave room.

1394
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:16,861
(knocks on door)

1395
01:05:16,871 --> 01:05:18,032
- That's the other door.

1396
01:05:21,626 --> 01:05:22,661
(knocks on door)

1397
01:05:22,669 --> 01:05:24,535
- It's locked, I can't open it.

1398
01:05:24,546 --> 01:05:27,083
- [Jessica] Hurry man,
we have 15 seconds.

1399
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:28,672
- [Sam] Move your
hand, chauffeur.

1400
01:05:28,675 --> 01:05:33,636
(gun fires) (dramatic music)

1401
01:05:34,013 --> 01:05:35,128
- Don't ask.

1402
01:05:35,140 --> 01:05:36,722
- What are you doing in
the butler's uniform?

1403
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:38,681
- I said don't ask me.

1404
01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:39,675
I don't know.

1405
01:05:39,686 --> 01:05:41,051
It all happened too quickly.

1406
01:05:43,064 --> 01:05:44,350
- The cook.

1407
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:45,688
Where is the cook?

1408
01:05:46,943 --> 01:05:49,275
- She's gone.
- Never said a word.

1409
01:05:49,279 --> 01:05:50,314
- 10 more seconds.

1410
01:05:50,321 --> 01:05:51,903
Quickly, sit and join hands.

1411
01:05:51,906 --> 01:05:55,399
(suspenseful music)

1412
01:05:55,410 --> 01:05:59,449
- Impossible for murder to
happen now without witnesses.

1413
01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:01,197
- Three, two, one.

1414
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:08,045
(clock chimes)
(suspenseful music)

1415
01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:34,939
It's over.

1416
01:06:34,949 --> 01:06:36,656
We're safe and sound.

1417
01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:40,948
(knocks on door)

1418
01:06:40,955 --> 01:06:42,866
- Oh, that's probably
the cook, come in.

1419
01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:44,990
- Darling, the poor
woman is stone deaf.

1420
01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:47,117
- I'm sorry, I forgot, come in.

1421
01:06:48,963 --> 01:06:50,954
- Not sound like cook to me.

1422
01:06:52,425 --> 01:06:55,383
(suspenseful music)

1423
01:07:06,147 --> 01:07:07,262
Ah, Mr. Twain.

1424
01:07:09,359 --> 01:07:11,942
You appear to be wrong.

1425
01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:14,061
Nobody here murdered.

1426
01:07:14,072 --> 01:07:15,072
Please to come in.

1427
01:07:17,075 --> 01:07:19,863
(group screaming)

1428
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:23,365
- [Dora] Is he dead?

1429
01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:24,579
- With a thing like
that in his back,

1430
01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:26,164
in the long run,
he's better off.

1431
01:07:26,167 --> 01:07:27,077
- Touch nothing!

1432
01:07:27,085 --> 01:07:28,371
- Will you stop
saying, touch nothing.

1433
01:07:28,378 --> 01:07:30,619
We're all experienced
criminologists.

1434
01:07:30,630 --> 01:07:32,712
I find it insulting,
debasing and redundant,

1435
01:07:32,715 --> 01:07:34,797
to keep telling us
to touch nothing.

1436
01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:35,711
- Oh, be quiet, woman.

1437
01:07:35,718 --> 01:07:37,254
- Up yours, fellow.

1438
01:07:37,262 --> 01:07:39,720
- Most amusing,
bickering detectives,

1439
01:07:39,722 --> 01:07:42,054
like making giant lamb stew,

1440
01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:43,640
everything goes to pot.

1441
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:44,883
- Why don't you stop it.
- Be quiet.

1442
01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:46,134
- Please be quiet.
- I am.

1443
01:07:46,145 --> 01:07:47,260
I want you to know.

1444
01:07:47,272 --> 01:07:48,307
(gun fires)

1445
01:07:48,314 --> 01:07:50,681
- Shut up, all of
youse, nobody move.

1446
01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:52,308
Stay where you are, everybody.

1447
01:07:52,318 --> 01:07:53,228
- What is it?

1448
01:07:53,236 --> 01:07:54,818
- I have to go to the can again.

1449
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,152
I don't wanna miss nothing.

1450
01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:58,613
- I'm going, too, Sam.

1451
01:08:01,244 --> 01:08:03,986
- I'd rather do this
alone, Tess, thanks anyway.

1452
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:09,167
- [Dora] The cook?

1453
01:08:10,628 --> 01:08:11,993
- What darling?

1454
01:08:12,005 --> 01:08:12,915
- Well, it's obvious.

1455
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:14,504
The cook murdered him.

1456
01:08:14,507 --> 01:08:15,542
The butler's dead,
all the rest of us

1457
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:17,882
are in this room except for her.

1458
01:08:17,885 --> 01:08:18,875
No one else could get in or out,

1459
01:08:18,886 --> 01:08:21,969
so that only leaves the
cook, isn't that right?

1460
01:08:21,973 --> 01:08:22,804
- Wrong.

1461
01:08:22,807 --> 01:08:25,390
- Oh, what makes you
certain of this, Sam?

1462
01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:27,725
- To drive a knife that
far up a man's back,

1463
01:08:27,729 --> 01:08:29,970
you need a powerful right arm,

1464
01:08:29,981 --> 01:08:32,348
and this arm don't
look that strong to me.

1465
01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:33,393
(group gasps)

1466
01:08:33,401 --> 01:08:34,641
- Is that the cook's arm?

1467
01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:36,518
- It ain't the
pussycat's tail, lady.

1468
01:08:36,529 --> 01:08:37,735
- (gasps) Oh.

1469
01:08:37,739 --> 01:08:40,572
- Oh don't be alarmed,
miss, it ain't real.

1470
01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:42,486
For that matter,
neither is the cook.

1471
01:08:44,912 --> 01:08:47,119
I found this before
I got to the can.

1472
01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:53,084
Got a little surprise
for you folks.

1473
01:08:55,256 --> 01:08:57,839
(everyone gasps)
(dramatic music)

1474
01:08:57,842 --> 01:08:58,798
- The cook.
- A mannequin.

1475
01:08:58,801 --> 01:08:59,962
- No.

1476
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:01,630
A dummy.

1477
01:09:01,638 --> 01:09:03,845
Perfect in every detail
with the exception

1478
01:09:03,848 --> 01:09:05,964
of not being able to
make her hear or speak.

1479
01:09:07,101 --> 01:09:10,435
My hat's off to the man
with the shiv in his back.

1480
01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:11,678
Except for the fact
that he's dead,

1481
01:09:11,689 --> 01:09:12,804
he was no dope.

1482
01:09:12,815 --> 01:09:14,397
- Nice going, Sam.

1483
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:17,142
- I hope you all realize
that someone in this room

1484
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:18,153
is a murderer.

1485
01:09:19,572 --> 01:09:21,313
- For sake of ladies present,

1486
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:23,531
may I suggest that we a"
return to drawing room.

1487
01:09:23,534 --> 01:09:26,071
My son will cover up
remains of Mr. Twain.

1488
01:09:26,079 --> 01:09:27,444
- Why do I do all
the dirty work, Pop?

1489
01:09:27,455 --> 01:09:29,787
- Because your mother
not here to do it.

1490
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:31,373
Come please.

1491
01:09:31,376 --> 01:09:34,334
(suspenseful music)

1492
01:09:45,765 --> 01:09:47,005
- Give me the bottle, Sam.

1493
01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:48,016
- Excuse me.

1494
01:09:54,023 --> 01:09:55,058
(thunder rumbles)

1495
01:09:55,066 --> 01:09:56,807
- Been getting a
headache, Dicky,

1496
01:09:56,818 --> 01:09:58,274
isn't there some
way of turning off

1497
01:09:58,277 --> 01:10:00,314
that ridiculous machine.

1498
01:10:00,321 --> 01:10:02,483
- Maybe some gadget
outside the window.

1499
01:10:04,659 --> 01:10:07,447
(thunder rumbles)

1500
01:10:08,663 --> 01:10:11,030
Sorry, darling, it's
raining this time.

1501
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,372
- I suggest we get down to
business and sort the facts.

1502
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:15,208
It is now 12:30 Sunday morning.

1503
01:10:16,295 --> 01:10:19,083
The doors and windows will
automatically open at dawn,

1504
01:10:19,090 --> 01:10:22,333
and one of us here will be
one million dollars richer,

1505
01:10:22,343 --> 01:10:24,755
and one of us will be going
to the gas chamber to be hung.

1506
01:10:24,762 --> 01:10:26,969
- One, Monsieur Perrier.

1507
01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:28,134
Why not two?

1508
01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:29,927
We all have associates?

1509
01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:31,766
- Why not four or six or eight?

1510
01:10:31,769 --> 01:10:33,351
I don't trust any of youse.

1511
01:10:33,354 --> 01:10:35,971
Maybe I'm just a patsy being
set up to take the fall,

1512
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:38,223
but I'm not falling for
any of you, you understand?

1513
01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:39,349
- Not even me, Sam?

1514
01:10:40,486 --> 01:10:42,102
- Why don't you fall in
love with the Jap kid

1515
01:10:42,113 --> 01:10:43,274
and get off my back.

1516
01:10:44,282 --> 01:10:46,649
- Can we get back
to case, please.

1517
01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:47,694
Time is late,

1518
01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:50,194
and my eyes are getting tired.

1519
01:10:50,204 --> 01:10:52,070
- I thought they always
looked like that.

1520
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:53,697
- Knock if off, Sam.

1521
01:10:53,708 --> 01:10:56,291
- I apologize, this case
is getting on my nerves.

1522
01:10:56,294 --> 01:10:57,409
I'm sorry, Slanty.

1523
01:10:58,379 --> 01:10:59,210
- Thank you.

1524
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:01,671
Now then, facts, please, facts.

1525
01:11:01,674 --> 01:11:03,290
Mr. Twain predicts murder,

1526
01:11:03,301 --> 01:11:07,215
also predicts victim to be
at dining table, correct?

1527
01:11:07,221 --> 01:11:08,427
- Correct.

1528
01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:10,798
- I'm sorry darling, this
is official, correct.

1529
01:11:10,808 --> 01:11:13,641
- Also predicts murder
to take place at midnight

1530
01:11:13,644 --> 01:11:15,931
and predicts number
of stab wounds.

1531
01:11:15,938 --> 01:11:19,272
How can this be if he not in
collaboration with murderer?

1532
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:21,061
- What if Twain did it himself?

1533
01:11:21,068 --> 01:11:22,729
- Murdered himself?

1534
01:11:22,737 --> 01:11:24,353
For what possible reason?

1535
01:11:25,490 --> 01:11:26,696
And how?

1536
01:11:26,699 --> 01:11:29,191
- The motive is simple; ego.

1537
01:11:29,202 --> 01:11:30,863
If we were not to
solve this crime,

1538
01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:33,783
he would indeed be named the
world's foremost detective,

1539
01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:35,121
and with an ego like his,

1540
01:11:35,124 --> 01:11:36,034
the fact that he
had to die for it

1541
01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:38,500
would be a small price to pay.

1542
01:11:38,503 --> 01:11:41,621
As to how, any man who
can create this chamber

1543
01:11:41,631 --> 01:11:43,121
of electronic marvels

1544
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,169
would certainly be able
to devise a machine

1545
01:11:45,176 --> 01:11:47,759
that would stab himself in
the back 11 or 12 times.

1546
01:11:47,762 --> 01:11:49,503
- That was wonderful, darling.

1547
01:11:49,514 --> 01:11:51,801
I'm so proud of you,
let's go to bed, quickly.

1548
01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:53,219
- One moment, please.

1549
01:11:53,226 --> 01:11:56,389
Very interesting
theory, Mr. Charleston,

1550
01:11:56,395 --> 01:11:59,729
but you overlook one
very important point.

1551
01:11:59,732 --> 01:12:01,018
- And that is?

1552
01:12:01,025 --> 01:12:02,561
- It's stupid.

1553
01:12:02,568 --> 01:12:06,277
It most stupid theory I ever heard.
(laughs)

1554
01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:07,361
- Do you have a better one?

1555
01:12:07,365 --> 01:12:10,073
- Oh, yeah, much better one.

1556
01:12:10,076 --> 01:12:13,364
You see, I have been doing
my homework, Mr. Charleston.

1557
01:12:13,371 --> 01:12:15,988
For example, I have information

1558
01:12:15,998 --> 01:12:18,865
that your wife's
portfolio of stocks

1559
01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:22,460
was seriously depleted in
latest financial crisis.

1560
01:12:22,463 --> 01:12:25,080
In short, you are flat
broke, Mr. Charleston.

1561
01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:27,207
You have been borrowing
money for over two years

1562
01:12:27,218 --> 01:12:30,461
at 17% interest from
Mr. Lionel Twain.

1563
01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:32,303
- Broke, Dicky, is this true?

1564
01:12:32,306 --> 01:12:33,512
- I didn't want to
tell you now, darling,

1565
01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:35,507
I was saving it
for your birthday.

1566
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:39,887
- One million dollars would
buy great many tight suits,

1567
01:12:39,897 --> 01:12:41,137
would it not, Mr. Charleston?

1568
01:12:41,148 --> 01:12:42,309
- Now see here, Wang...

1569
01:12:42,316 --> 01:12:44,057
- What, dead broke, Dicky?

1570
01:12:44,068 --> 01:12:45,183
- Almost, darling.

1571
01:12:45,194 --> 01:12:47,310
I have $1.17 and some stamps,

1572
01:12:47,321 --> 01:12:48,436
but I did not
murder Lionel Twain.

1573
01:12:48,447 --> 01:12:50,814
Now you do believe
that, don't you darling?

1574
01:12:50,825 --> 01:12:52,657
- We'll talk, we'll see.

1575
01:12:53,619 --> 01:12:55,530
- It could have
been any one of you.

1576
01:12:55,538 --> 01:12:56,573
Each and every one of us

1577
01:12:56,581 --> 01:12:58,868
was out of that dining room
at one time or another,

1578
01:12:58,875 --> 01:13:01,207
giving ample opportunity
to commit the crime.

1579
01:13:02,420 --> 01:13:03,455
As for motives,

1580
01:13:03,462 --> 01:13:06,250
there's more than ego
and cash involved.

1581
01:13:06,257 --> 01:13:07,998
For example, revenge.

1582
01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:10,046
- Meaning what, Mr. Charleston?

1583
01:13:10,052 --> 01:13:11,884
- Meaning that I'm
not the only one here

1584
01:13:11,888 --> 01:13:14,505
who's had a past
experience with Mr. Twain.

1585
01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:17,678
Did you know that he was
quite a ladies man in his day?

1586
01:13:17,685 --> 01:13:19,767
- Are you suggesting
that someone here...

1587
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:22,137
- Was at one time in
love with Lionel Twain,

1588
01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:24,185
as a matter of fact,
he was engaged to

1589
01:13:24,191 --> 01:13:27,149
and jilted Ms. Jessica Marbles.

1590
01:13:27,153 --> 01:13:28,769
(dramatic music)

1591
01:13:28,779 --> 01:13:30,645
Mon dieu!

1592
01:13:30,656 --> 01:13:32,988
- Jesus H. Christ.

1593
01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:35,324
- Jilted 54 years
ago at the altar,

1594
01:13:35,328 --> 01:13:37,660
left her there in that
same baggy tweed outfit.

1595
01:13:39,332 --> 01:13:40,493
- Is this true, Jessie?

1596
01:13:40,499 --> 01:13:42,285
- I was not jilted.

1597
01:13:42,293 --> 01:13:44,284
I walked out on him.

1598
01:13:44,295 --> 01:13:47,162
He wanted to fool around
before the wedding.

1599
01:13:47,173 --> 01:13:50,586
- And being the lady
you are, you refused.

1600
01:13:50,593 --> 01:13:52,129
- Not completely.

1601
01:13:52,136 --> 01:13:54,218
But it got out of hand.

1602
01:13:54,221 --> 01:13:56,178
He was horrid but
I didn't kill him.

1603
01:13:56,182 --> 01:13:57,092
- That's good enough for me.

1604
01:13:57,099 --> 01:13:59,090
What about you, Frenchie?

1605
01:13:59,101 --> 01:14:00,341
- I'm not a Frenchie.

1606
01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:01,353
I'm a Belgie.

1607
01:14:03,481 --> 01:14:05,563
And as for other motives,

1608
01:14:05,566 --> 01:14:07,648
how about patricide?

1609
01:14:07,652 --> 01:14:10,895
- The killing of
one's own parent?

1610
01:14:10,905 --> 01:14:12,361
Mean that Lionel
Twain was the father

1611
01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:13,821
of someone in this room?

1612
01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:16,407
- He wasn't my father.

1613
01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:18,572
(dramatic music)

1614
01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:19,579
He was my uncle.

1615
01:14:21,624 --> 01:14:23,080
He was very good to me,

1616
01:14:23,084 --> 01:14:25,746
he would take me to the
circus and give me candy.

1617
01:14:26,712 --> 01:14:29,249
We stopped going
when I was about 26.

1618
01:14:32,885 --> 01:14:34,375
I'm sorry, Sam.

1619
01:14:34,387 --> 01:14:35,752
- 26?

1620
01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:37,379
What the hell kind
of a circus was it?

1621
01:14:37,390 --> 01:14:40,428
- Forgive me, but I was
talking about patricide,

1622
01:14:40,434 --> 01:14:41,970
not unclecide.

1623
01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:44,686
Mr. Twain may have been your uncle, Ms.
Skeffington,

1624
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,680
but he was the
illegitimate father

1625
01:14:46,691 --> 01:14:49,274
of Monsieur Sidney Wang.

1626
01:14:49,276 --> 01:14:52,268
(dramatic music)

1627
01:14:52,279 --> 01:14:53,360
- It's not true.

1628
01:14:54,782 --> 01:14:56,318
I was adopted.

1629
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:57,325
I have my papers.

1630
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:02,074
"That is why I have
adopted a" my children.

1631
01:15:02,081 --> 01:15:03,788
- I was wondering.

1632
01:15:03,791 --> 01:15:04,872
- Oh.

1633
01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:07,082
He loved me very much,

1634
01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:10,295
but he was not very observant.

1635
01:15:10,297 --> 01:15:13,255
One day, when I was 19,

1636
01:15:13,259 --> 01:15:15,216
he called me to his study,

1637
01:15:15,219 --> 01:15:17,836
noticed for first
time I was Oriental

1638
01:15:17,847 --> 01:15:19,463
and kicked me out of house.

1639
01:15:19,473 --> 01:15:21,089
I could have-

1640
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:22,306
- Killed him, Monsieur Wang.

1641
01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:24,516
- As easily as you, Mr. Perrier,

1642
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:26,636
Lionel Twain killed
the only thing

1643
01:15:26,647 --> 01:15:30,231
you ever loved,
Mary Louise Cotille.

1644
01:15:32,319 --> 01:15:34,981
(dramatic music)

1645
01:15:37,116 --> 01:15:39,904
(Milo choking up)

1646
01:15:44,790 --> 01:15:45,790
- Your sweetheart?

1647
01:15:49,295 --> 01:15:50,295
- My poodle.

1648
01:15:52,590 --> 01:15:54,206
He was a most cruel man.

1649
01:15:56,052 --> 01:15:59,795
Monsieur Twain would come
to France every season,

1650
01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:02,390
to hunt poodles.

1651
01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:08,261
The day they brought her
bloodied sequin collar to me,

1652
01:16:08,272 --> 01:16:09,933
I vowed one day I would...

1653
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:10,725
- Knock him off.

1654
01:16:10,733 --> 01:16:12,440
- Yes, gladly if
I had the chance.

1655
01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:15,570
But I did not.

1656
01:16:16,614 --> 01:16:18,525
Someone here beat me to it.

1657
01:16:18,532 --> 01:16:19,943
- So there's more
than one reason

1658
01:16:19,950 --> 01:16:21,361
that we was invited here.

1659
01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:26,071
Not only was Twain testing
our skills as detectives,

1660
01:16:26,082 --> 01:16:27,743
but we all have
legitimate motives

1661
01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:29,206
for doing the old man in.

1662
01:16:29,210 --> 01:16:32,578
- I've not yet heard
your motive, Mr. Diamond.

1663
01:16:32,588 --> 01:16:33,999
- My motive is unimportant.

1664
01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:38,545
Let's just say that I hated
him enough to kill him.

1665
01:16:38,552 --> 01:16:41,214
- You are closed
man, Mr. Diamond.

1666
01:16:41,222 --> 01:16:43,805
You hide many things.

1667
01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:48,097
Could it be that Mr. Twain
discover your secret?

1668
01:16:48,104 --> 01:16:51,096
- I don't know what
you're talking about.

1669
01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:54,020
- We know different, do we not, Ms.
Skeffington.

1670
01:16:54,026 --> 01:16:58,111
(light dramatic music)

1671
01:16:58,114 --> 01:16:59,855
- Twain picked up
Sam in a gay bar.

1672
01:17:01,033 --> 01:17:02,649
- I was working on a case.

1673
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:06,403
- Every night for sixth months.

1674
01:17:06,413 --> 01:17:08,495
- I got 50 bucks
a day in expenses.

1675
01:17:08,499 --> 01:17:09,660
I hate them queeries.

1676
01:17:11,293 --> 01:17:16,333
- Twain had Polaroid
pictures of Sam in drag.

1677
01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:18,172
- I was in disguise.

1678
01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:20,337
Lots of dames go
in those joints.

1679
01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:22,506
I never kissed nobody,

1680
01:17:22,513 --> 01:17:24,095
and I never did nothing to a man

1681
01:17:24,098 --> 01:17:25,839
that I wouldn't do to a woman,

1682
01:17:25,850 --> 01:17:27,340
and I didn't kill Twain.

1683
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:31,980
Bitch.

1684
01:17:32,940 --> 01:17:34,897
- Most interesting.

1685
01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:37,938
All had perfect motives
for killing Twain.

1686
01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:41,650
Wonder which one
was one who done it?

1687
01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:46,113
- We still have the
night to get through.

1688
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:48,282
If anyone is going
to solve this case,

1689
01:17:48,289 --> 01:17:50,576
I say we all get a
good night's sleep.

1690
01:17:50,583 --> 01:17:53,496
"- And I suggest we
a" lock our doors.

1691
01:17:53,502 --> 01:17:55,960
One of us is a mad killer,

1692
01:17:55,963 --> 01:17:58,295
not to be trusted.

1693
01:17:58,299 --> 01:18:01,917
(thunder rumbles)

1694
01:18:01,927 --> 01:18:04,544
(doors locking)

1695
01:18:16,984 --> 01:18:19,942
(suspenseful music)

1696
01:18:39,632 --> 01:18:40,632
- Pop.

1697
01:18:41,926 --> 01:18:43,508
- Yeah?

1698
01:18:43,510 --> 01:18:45,217
- Who do you think
is the murderer?

1699
01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:48,004
- Must sleep on it.

1700
01:18:48,015 --> 01:18:51,224
Will know in morning
when wake up.

1701
01:18:51,227 --> 01:18:53,013
- But what if you don't wake up.

1702
01:18:54,146 --> 01:18:55,146
- Then you did it.

1703
01:18:56,357 --> 01:18:57,357
Go sleep, please.

1704
01:18:59,693 --> 01:19:01,058
- Goodnight, Dad.

1705
01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,186
- Shut up, adopted pussy cat.

1706
01:19:05,032 --> 01:19:07,148
(snoring)

1707
01:19:12,039 --> 01:19:14,906
- Should I turn
off the steam, Pop?

1708
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:17,252
- Not steam.

1709
01:19:18,629 --> 01:19:21,621
Someone just put deadly
snake in the room.

1710
01:19:22,633 --> 01:19:24,340
Wake me when it come near bed.

1711
01:19:25,261 --> 01:19:28,754
(dramatic music)

1712
01:19:28,764 --> 01:19:30,380
- I want you to
know, Dicky, darling,

1713
01:19:30,391 --> 01:19:32,382
that if you're the murderer,

1714
01:19:32,393 --> 01:19:33,393
I'll still love you.

1715
01:19:34,270 --> 01:19:36,637
I don't think it would be
right for us to make love,

1716
01:19:36,647 --> 01:19:38,558
but I'd still love you.

1717
01:19:38,565 --> 01:19:39,805
- No fear of that, my pet.

1718
01:19:41,026 --> 01:19:42,312
Now let's see what we have here.

1719
01:19:42,319 --> 01:19:45,107
We have one missing,
dead, naked butler,

1720
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:48,405
one host with a butchers
knife in his back,

1721
01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:52,277
and one poisonous scorpion
crawling up our sheets.

1722
01:19:52,288 --> 01:19:53,619
- [Dora] Is that what that is?

1723
01:19:53,622 --> 01:19:55,579
- Yes, they can kill instantly.

1724
01:19:55,582 --> 01:19:57,493
I suggest we don't move.

1725
01:19:57,501 --> 01:19:59,117
(dramatic music)

1726
01:19:59,128 --> 01:20:00,539
- [Dora] For how long?

1727
01:20:00,546 --> 01:20:03,038
- Quite possibly for
the rest of our lives.

1728
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,756
(dramatic music)

1729
01:20:07,594 --> 01:20:09,176
- Good heavens.

1730
01:20:09,179 --> 01:20:11,295
I know who the murderer is.

1731
01:20:11,307 --> 01:20:12,672
- Solvey-poo?

1732
01:20:12,683 --> 01:20:16,301
- Yes, Ms. Withers,
the murderer is...

1733
01:20:16,312 --> 01:20:18,394
(sniffs) Good god, gas!

1734
01:20:18,397 --> 01:20:21,059
- I'm sorry, I can't
help it, I'm old.

1735
01:20:21,066 --> 01:20:23,774
- No, no, the other kind of gas.

1736
01:20:23,777 --> 01:20:25,609
The kind that kills.

1737
01:20:25,612 --> 01:20:27,194
- Sometimes my gas.

1738
01:20:27,197 --> 01:20:29,609
- It's seeping in
through the vent.

1739
01:20:30,534 --> 01:20:33,151
(playful music)

1740
01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:41,868
It's locked from the outside.

1741
01:20:41,879 --> 01:20:42,710
(door knob jiggling)

1742
01:20:42,713 --> 01:20:44,124
Help!

1743
01:20:44,131 --> 01:20:45,997
- Doesn't smell that bad to me.

1744
01:20:48,135 --> 01:20:50,092
- [Jessica] Help!

1745
01:20:50,095 --> 01:20:52,632
(sultry music)

1746
01:21:02,024 --> 01:21:05,187
- Did I do right, Sam, telling
them about the gay bar?

1747
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:08,064
- Perfect, sweetheart.

1748
01:21:08,072 --> 01:21:10,154
They took the bait
like a dumb halibut.

1749
01:21:10,157 --> 01:21:11,898
Let them think I'm a pansy.

1750
01:21:11,909 --> 01:21:13,365
While they're busy
suspecting me,

1751
01:21:13,369 --> 01:21:15,326
one of them is gonna
let his pants down.

1752
01:21:18,123 --> 01:21:20,160
- Sam, why do you
keep all those naked

1753
01:21:20,167 --> 01:21:22,454
muscleman magazines
in your office?

1754
01:21:22,461 --> 01:21:23,792
- Suspects.

1755
01:21:23,796 --> 01:21:25,457
Always looking for suspects.

1756
01:21:25,464 --> 01:21:27,046
(rhythmic ticking)

1757
01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:28,835
What's that ticking
sound I hear?

1758
01:21:28,842 --> 01:21:33,678
(dramatic music) (ticking)

1759
01:21:37,476 --> 01:21:39,308
That ticking sound
you hear, Mr. Diamond,

1760
01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:40,426
is a bomb in your room

1761
01:21:40,437 --> 01:21:41,893
that will go off in 30 seconds,

1762
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:43,262
signed the murderer.

1763
01:21:43,273 --> 01:21:44,479
- [Tess] Quick, Sam, the door.

1764
01:21:44,483 --> 01:21:46,224
- PS, the door is locked.

1765
01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:51,105
(dramatic music) (ticking)

1766
01:21:53,826 --> 01:21:55,237
I'm sorry about this, Tess.

1767
01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:59,241
And me owing you
all that money, too.

1768
01:21:59,248 --> 01:22:00,113
- Well, that's all right, Sam,

1769
01:22:00,124 --> 01:22:01,455
what are we gonna do?

1770
01:22:01,458 --> 01:22:02,458
- I got an idea.

1771
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:05,581
I don't know whether this
is gonna work or not.

1772
01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:07,203
Quick, turn around.

1773
01:22:07,214 --> 01:22:08,045
- I'm turned, Sam.

1774
01:22:08,048 --> 01:22:09,709
- Whatever you do,
baby, don't turn back.

1775
01:22:09,716 --> 01:22:11,957
- But Sam, if anything...
- Do as I say, angel.

1776
01:22:11,969 --> 01:22:13,050
- I will, Sam.

1777
01:22:13,053 --> 01:22:13,884
- Good.

1778
01:22:13,887 --> 01:22:16,925
'Cause I think I'm gonna cry.

1779
01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:20,300
I knew this day, I'm having a bad day.
(Diamond blubbers uncontrollably)

1780
01:22:24,022 --> 01:22:26,559
(Perrier hums)

1781
01:22:32,156 --> 01:22:33,942
- What are you doing in my bed?

1782
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:35,485
- Well, there's no place
else to sleep, monsieur.

1783
01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:37,529
- Sleep in the car, you
chauffeur, you, go, go, go, go.

1784
01:22:37,536 --> 01:22:39,368
- Oh, you are unfair.

1785
01:22:39,371 --> 01:22:41,362
I will tell everyone
that you wear a toupee.

1786
01:22:41,373 --> 01:22:42,204
- They already know.

1787
01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:44,369
- Then why do you wear it?

1788
01:22:44,376 --> 01:22:45,992
- I didn't know that you knew.

1789
01:22:46,003 --> 01:22:49,746
- Certainly I know,
a terrible toupee.

1790
01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:53,166
(loudly exploding)

1791
01:22:53,177 --> 01:22:55,509
- A bomb, across the hall.

1792
01:22:55,512 --> 01:22:57,753
Quickly, the door, the door.

1793
01:22:57,764 --> 01:23:00,472
(dramatic music)

1794
01:23:03,979 --> 01:23:06,516
- It's locked from the outside.

1795
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,810
- You look taller to me.

1796
01:23:08,817 --> 01:23:10,399
Why is that?

1797
01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:11,233
- I don't understand, monsieur.

1798
01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:12,772
I'm not getting taller.

1799
01:23:12,779 --> 01:23:15,191
- If you are not getting taller.

1800
01:23:15,199 --> 01:23:16,985
There is only one alternative.

1801
01:23:16,992 --> 01:23:19,108
The room is getting shorter.

1802
01:23:19,119 --> 01:23:20,735
(dramatic music)

1803
01:23:20,746 --> 01:23:22,657
- Oh mon dieu, the
ceiling is coming down.

1804
01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:27,700
(men screaming)

1805
01:23:30,255 --> 01:23:32,963
(glass shatters)

1806
01:23:34,092 --> 01:23:34,923
What will we do?

1807
01:23:34,927 --> 01:23:36,133
- I don't know.

1808
01:23:37,012 --> 01:23:41,131
But this is exactly how
they make goose liver pate.

1809
01:23:41,141 --> 01:23:43,724
(men screaming)

1810
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:53,317
(suspenseful music)

1811
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:18,002
- Not so fast, please, do
not cross out Wang name,

1812
01:24:18,011 --> 01:24:20,343
cross out snake instead.

1813
01:24:21,306 --> 01:24:23,172
- Nice shot, Pop.

1814
01:24:23,183 --> 01:24:26,096
Sure wish you weren't
such a heavy sleeper.

1815
01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:27,103
- And now,

1816
01:24:28,814 --> 01:24:29,814
if you please.

1817
01:24:31,275 --> 01:24:34,563
One million dollars,
Mr. Bensonmum.

1818
01:24:36,113 --> 01:24:37,444
- [Willie] Banzai, Pop.

1819
01:24:39,241 --> 01:24:41,653
- Very clever of you, Mr. Wang.

1820
01:24:41,660 --> 01:24:45,073
Oh, yes, as you
can see, I can see.

1821
01:24:46,248 --> 01:24:48,239
- So I see.

1822
01:24:48,250 --> 01:24:50,662
- Tell me, as the only survivor,

1823
01:24:50,669 --> 01:24:53,206
how did you deduce it was me?

1824
01:24:53,213 --> 01:24:56,831
- Went back to theory
seldom used today,

1825
01:24:58,385 --> 01:24:59,546
butler did it.

1826
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:03,425
- Oh, I hadn't thought of that,

1827
01:25:03,432 --> 01:25:06,595
but how do you account for
my dead body in the kitchen?

1828
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:09,390
- Oh, body made of plastic.

1829
01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:11,558
Same as plastic cook.

1830
01:25:11,565 --> 01:25:15,024
While we examined
plastic butler,

1831
01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:17,064
you murder Lionel Twain.

1832
01:25:18,113 --> 01:25:20,821
- You're a clever little
laundry man, Mr. Wang.

1833
01:25:20,824 --> 01:25:23,111
- But not quite clever enough.

1834
01:25:24,161 --> 01:25:27,244
I'll take that one million
dollars, Bensonmum.

1835
01:25:28,874 --> 01:25:30,490
Alias Irving Goldman.

1836
01:25:32,544 --> 01:25:33,659
- Irving Goldman?

1837
01:25:34,713 --> 01:25:36,249
- Oh yes.

1838
01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:40,716
Irving Goldman was the attorney
of the late Lionel Twain,

1839
01:25:40,719 --> 01:25:42,926
and Lionel Twain
died five years ago,

1840
01:25:42,929 --> 01:25:44,715
his body was recently discovered

1841
01:25:44,723 --> 01:25:46,839
in Goldman's filing cabinet.

1842
01:25:46,850 --> 01:25:50,059
Am I correct, Mr. Goldman?

1843
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:53,350
- Yeah, correct, Ms. Marbles,

1844
01:25:53,357 --> 01:25:56,850
but how did you
escape the poison gas?

1845
01:25:56,860 --> 01:25:58,771
- Quite simple,
I covered my mouth,

1846
01:25:58,779 --> 01:26:01,271
and let Ms. Withers here
breathe in all the gas.

1847
01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:04,231
- Sicky poo.

1848
01:26:04,242 --> 01:26:06,108
- Yes, dear, I know.

1849
01:26:06,119 --> 01:26:08,235
The million dollars please.

1850
01:26:08,246 --> 01:26:09,657
- I wouldn't, if I
were you, Goldman.

1851
01:26:09,665 --> 01:26:11,781
Or is it Goldman?

1852
01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:15,160
Actually, it's
Mr. Marvin Metzler.

1853
01:26:15,170 --> 01:26:16,660
(dramatic music)

1854
01:26:16,672 --> 01:26:17,672
- Marvin Metzler.

1855
01:26:19,257 --> 01:26:21,544
- Very good, Mr. Charleston,

1856
01:26:22,803 --> 01:26:25,044
but how did you know?

1857
01:26:25,055 --> 01:26:27,717
- The bill in the
dead butler's hand.

1858
01:26:27,724 --> 01:26:30,341
Stating that the entire
weekend had been catered,

1859
01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:31,683
only an accountant
would have held

1860
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:32,518
on to a thing like that.

1861
01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:34,432
- Dicky, get the
money and let's go.

1862
01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:35,270
- In a moment, darling.

1863
01:26:35,273 --> 01:26:37,856
Goldman was killed last
month while skiing.

1864
01:26:37,859 --> 01:26:40,977
He jumped 200 feet into
a low flying plane.

1865
01:26:40,987 --> 01:26:42,898
- Dicky, I can't
wait much longer.

1866
01:26:42,906 --> 01:26:46,615
- You've not lost your
touch, Mr. Charleston,

1867
01:26:46,618 --> 01:26:49,861
but how did you elude
the deadly scorpion.

1868
01:26:49,871 --> 01:26:52,203
- Oh we didn't, he stung Dora.

1869
01:26:52,207 --> 01:26:54,039
We have 15 minutes
to get to the doctor.

1870
01:26:54,042 --> 01:26:55,373
- Could you explain
later, Dicky?

1871
01:26:55,377 --> 01:26:56,208
Let's go now.
- We'll make it, darling.

1872
01:26:56,211 --> 01:26:57,121
Never fear.

1873
01:26:57,129 --> 01:26:58,619
The prize money, Mr. Metzler.

1874
01:26:58,630 --> 01:26:59,995
- Belongs to me, monsieur.

1875
01:27:00,966 --> 01:27:04,504
Marcel, being one of the
world's strongest men

1876
01:27:04,511 --> 01:27:06,593
stopped your ceiling
from crushing us,

1877
01:27:06,596 --> 01:27:08,303
at four feet five inches.

1878
01:27:09,307 --> 01:27:13,266
It may be months before we are
able to straighten up again,

1879
01:27:13,270 --> 01:27:14,886
but the million dollars

1880
01:27:14,896 --> 01:27:18,639
will buy a lot of
back braces, eh?

1881
01:27:19,651 --> 01:27:23,815
Miss Irene Twain,
daughter of Lionel.

1882
01:27:24,990 --> 01:27:25,990
- What?

1883
01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:29,863
- I prefer to be called Rita.

1884
01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:34,496
But how did you know?

1885
01:27:34,499 --> 01:27:37,366
- Never underestimate
a Frenchman's nostrils,

1886
01:27:37,377 --> 01:27:39,994
Ms. Twain, at dinner tonight,

1887
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:43,873
I smelled your
Chanel Number Five.

1888
01:27:43,884 --> 01:27:46,376
It was you who did
away with all of them,

1889
01:27:46,386 --> 01:27:49,094
Metzler, Goldman,
and your father.

1890
01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:52,089
In fact, if you had your way,

1891
01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:54,387
you would do away with all men,

1892
01:27:54,394 --> 01:27:56,055
would you not, Ms. Twain,

1893
01:27:56,062 --> 01:27:59,646
men who have made you
ashamed and made you suffer

1894
01:27:59,649 --> 01:28:03,563
because you were born with
brains, talent, money,

1895
01:28:03,570 --> 01:28:07,234
everything but that which
you most desired, beauty.

1896
01:28:09,075 --> 01:28:11,407
It is a statement of fact, Ms.
Twain.

1897
01:28:11,411 --> 01:28:13,152
That as a man you
are barely passable,

1898
01:28:13,163 --> 01:28:17,748
but as a woman, you are a dog.

1899
01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:20,539
- That's your opinion, big boy.

1900
01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:23,040
(dramatic music)

1901
01:28:23,048 --> 01:28:25,005
- And now my money, please.

1902
01:28:25,008 --> 01:28:28,251
With luck, I can still
make dinner at Maxine's.

1903
01:28:29,679 --> 01:28:32,216
- If I were you, I'd just
order a tuna fish sandwich,

1904
01:28:32,224 --> 01:28:34,511
because that dough
belongs to me.

1905
01:28:34,518 --> 01:28:36,976
That's right, I'm
alive and kicking.

1906
01:28:36,978 --> 01:28:38,719
Ms. Skeffington here
dropped your bomb

1907
01:28:38,730 --> 01:28:41,643
down the john and blew
up just as she flushed.

1908
01:28:41,650 --> 01:28:43,766
The seat missed her
head by an inch.

1909
01:28:43,777 --> 01:28:45,814
(Tess coughing)

1910
01:28:45,821 --> 01:28:46,821
<i>k- I'm a“ right, 33..</i>

1911
01:28:48,031 --> 01:28:49,031
- JJ?

1912
01:28:52,619 --> 01:28:55,077
- That's right, folks,
he outsmarted us all.

1913
01:28:56,873 --> 01:28:58,204
Sitting behind that desk

1914
01:28:58,208 --> 01:28:59,824
is the real Sam Diamond.

1915
01:29:01,169 --> 01:29:03,752
My name is Loomis, J.J. Loomis,

1916
01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:06,167
I'm an actor, I do impressions.

1917
01:29:06,174 --> 01:29:08,336
I did the Carson show
six times last year.

1918
01:29:09,803 --> 01:29:11,510
Diamond hired me
for the weekend.

1919
01:29:12,430 --> 01:29:14,671
Ms. Skeffington here is
actually Vilma Norman.

1920
01:29:14,683 --> 01:29:18,176
She's a cocktail waitress at
the Waterbed Motel in Carmel.

1921
01:29:18,186 --> 01:29:19,017
- Hi.

1922
01:29:19,020 --> 01:29:19,885
- Hello.

1923
01:29:19,896 --> 01:29:20,977
- Hi.

1924
01:29:20,981 --> 01:29:22,972
- Diamond hated all of you.

1925
01:29:22,983 --> 01:29:24,144
You were all getting
the big money

1926
01:29:24,150 --> 01:29:27,484
and he had that crummy little
office in San Francisco.

1927
01:29:27,487 --> 01:29:28,898
If he proved that
he was number one,

1928
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:31,021
he would get all
your rich clients,

1929
01:29:31,032 --> 01:29:33,273
but since I put all
the pieces together,

1930
01:29:35,287 --> 01:29:38,450
I figure that money
belongs to me.

1931
01:29:40,125 --> 01:29:42,162
Isn't that right, Mr. Diamond?

1932
01:29:45,046 --> 01:29:46,046
- Wrong.

1933
01:29:47,966 --> 01:29:49,297
That would have been so obvious,

1934
01:29:49,301 --> 01:29:51,087
a child could have guessed it.

1935
01:29:51,094 --> 01:29:54,007
No, my dear colleagues, what
you all seem to overlook

1936
01:29:54,014 --> 01:29:57,052
is the most simple
and direct solution,

1937
01:29:57,058 --> 01:30:00,892
that I am indeed Lionel Twain.

1938
01:30:00,896 --> 01:30:03,604
(dramatic music)

1939
01:30:04,524 --> 01:30:08,893
You've all been so
clever for so long,

1940
01:30:08,904 --> 01:30:11,316
you've forgotten to be humble.

1941
01:30:11,323 --> 01:30:14,941
You tricked and fooled
your readers for years,

1942
01:30:14,951 --> 01:30:16,908
you've tortured us all
with surprise endings

1943
01:30:16,912 --> 01:30:18,823
that made no sense.

1944
01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:21,788
You've introduced characters
in the last five pages

1945
01:30:21,791 --> 01:30:23,702
that were never in
the book before.

1946
01:30:24,586 --> 01:30:28,079
You withheld clues
and information

1947
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:31,878
that made it impossible
for us to guess who did it,

1948
01:30:31,885 --> 01:30:34,968
but now, the tables are turned.

1949
01:30:36,640 --> 01:30:39,849
Millions of angry
mystery readers

1950
01:30:39,851 --> 01:30:42,092
are now getting their revenge,

1951
01:30:43,313 --> 01:30:46,851
when the world learns
I've outsmarted you,

1952
01:30:46,858 --> 01:30:51,318
they'll be selling your
$1.95 books for 12 cents.

1953
01:30:51,321 --> 01:30:53,562
It's check out time,
ladies and gentlemen.

1954
01:30:54,532 --> 01:30:56,523
I have your bills ready.

1955
01:30:56,534 --> 01:30:57,534
- Oh.

1956
01:30:58,286 --> 01:31:00,573
- [Lionel] Credit
cards will be accepted.

1957
01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:03,288
(dramatic music)

1958
01:31:21,935 --> 01:31:24,347
- Then even the
scorpion was fake?

1959
01:31:24,354 --> 01:31:26,015
- Everything, the
bridge, the maid.

1960
01:31:26,022 --> 01:31:28,935
- [Dora] But you're
sure about the scorpion.

1961
01:31:28,942 --> 01:31:31,024
- Positive, even the fog.

1962
01:31:31,027 --> 01:31:33,018
He made that with
a dry ice machine.

1963
01:31:33,029 --> 01:31:34,315
See for yourself.

1964
01:31:34,322 --> 01:31:36,484
- [Dora] Awfully unromantic.

1965
01:31:36,491 --> 01:31:39,199
(dramatic music)

1966
01:31:42,664 --> 01:31:44,905
- Then if he really
was Lionel Twain,

1967
01:31:44,916 --> 01:31:46,998
you must really be Sam Diamond.

1968
01:31:48,545 --> 01:31:50,127
- That's right, baby.

1969
01:31:50,130 --> 01:31:53,088
I was in disguise, in
disguise, in disguise.

1970
01:31:53,091 --> 01:31:56,129
You'll work hard for 50
bucks a day in this racket.

1971
01:31:56,136 --> 01:31:57,342
- I guess that means we won't

1972
01:31:57,345 --> 01:31:59,461
be seeing each other again, Sam.

1973
01:31:59,472 --> 01:32:00,633
- Well, that depends.

1974
01:32:00,640 --> 01:32:02,096
I'll be around if you need me.

1975
01:32:03,893 --> 01:32:05,224
All you gotta do is whistle.

1976
01:32:08,023 --> 01:32:10,310
And you know how to
whistle, don't you, baby?

1977
01:32:10,316 --> 01:32:11,556
- Certainly, what do you mean?

1978
01:32:11,568 --> 01:32:13,855
- All right, never
mind, forget it.

1979
01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:14,862
You ruined it.

1980
01:32:19,242 --> 01:32:20,607
- I don't understand, Pop.

1981
01:32:20,618 --> 01:32:22,325
Was there a murder
or wasn't there?

1982
01:32:22,328 --> 01:32:23,159
- Yes.

1983
01:32:23,163 --> 01:32:24,995
Killed good weekend.

1984
01:32:24,998 --> 01:32:26,033
Drive please.

1985
01:32:26,041 --> 01:32:29,159
(engine revs)

1986
01:32:29,169 --> 01:32:31,877
(dramatic music)

1987
01:33:02,035 --> 01:33:06,950
(woman maniacally
laughing) (curious music)

1988
01:34:35,670 --> 01:34:38,378
(doorbell rings)