[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[mouths] What? Me?
[dramatic music]
How dare you? That's the crudest remark I've ever heard.
[tires screeching]
Esta bien? Esta bien?
[speaking in foreign language]
- Ooh. - It's okay. It's..
...it's okay, we'll get you to a hospital.
[panting]
[female #1] Okay, okay, okay.
[Speaking in Spanish]
[female #1] Por favor.
My wife, she have a baby now!
It's okay. Okay.
[speaking in Spanish]
Hey!
[male #1] 'Hey, come back!'
Hey, come back!
Hey, don't leave me!
[male #1] 'Come back, officer!'
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
Ten minutes? More like 30.
It was an emergency.
I'll split it with you. Fifteen.
Yeah, well, now I know why you're always broke.
You can't add. Come on, what happened?
My motor home had a sudden illness.
The generator died.
No electricity, no water pressure
no air conditioning, no nothing.
I had to get a mechanic to fix it.
[laughs] A mechanic? You need a surgeon.
[laughs]
Alright, you can laugh but you got a home
you got a place to stay.
All I got is an emergency on wheels.
Thirty minute emergency.
We'll have to see if Getraer thinks so.
Hey, he's just a sergeant.
Nobody asked him to think.
Help! Help!
Over here! Help me, please!
[male #1] Over here! Come! Over here!
[male #1] 'Help! Help, please!'
You came back. Gracias, gracias,you came back.
- Very good. - What do you mean I came back?
[Ponch] '11-82 Northbound on Hollywood at Alvarado.'
Quick, mi esposa.
[whimpering]
Hey, Ponch, call for an ambulance.
'Make sure it's equipped for a premature.'
'This lady doesn't have much time.'
[moaning]
- 'Easy, easy.' - LA. 15..
...roll a county rescue for emergency in childbirth.
Just a minute now.
[melancholic music]
[sobbing] I'm afraid.
There you are. There you are.
There you are, uh.
Okay, now, just bear down. Relax, okay.
Let Mother Nature take its course.
- 'Bear down.' - I'm-I'm afraid.
No, no, I can't.
- 'No.' - Deep breathing.
[huffing]
[whimpering]
[Jon] 'Come on, come on. Just take it easy.'
I can't, I can't, I can't.
I'm gonna lose my baby.
[Ponch] 'No, no, no. You're not.'
Just hang on.
Everything's gonna be okay.
[female #1] 'Oh, please, it's our first baby.'
We can't lose it.
Nothing can happen.
[female #1] 'Please don't let nothing happen.'
Oh. everything is gonna be great.
Everything's gonna be great.
[speaking in Spanish]
We do this all the time.
Yeah, we do this all the time. We're experts.
- We're specialists. - Yeah.
I'm the second best baby deliverer in the world.
He's the first. You're a very lucky woman, you know that?
[sobs]
Thank you. Gracias.
[Speaking in Spanish]
[Ponch] 'You know, at least you have a car.'
My mother had me in a bus.
And look how beautiful I turned out, eh?
[female #1] Ugh! No. No. Gracias.
[grunting]
Okay, j-just bear down one last time, okay?
Just bear down one last time.
[melancholic music]
[chuckles]
Ponch, look.
[baby crying]
[laughs]
I'm a father! I'm a father!
I'm a father.
Hey, no cigars. I'm sorry. Next time, I have, huh?
[chuckles]
- It's a girl! - No, it's a boy.
Okay, it's a boy!
[laughs]
[tires screech]
- 'Hey, where were you guys?' - Delivering a baby.
Yeah, well, welcome to the club.
[Ponch chuckles]
[baby crying]
Ah.
Hey, partner, you were beautiful.
You got hands of a surgeon, did you know that?
Yeah, well, I had a little help from Mother Nature.
But, uh, hey, you didn't do too bad yourself.
[chuckles] Yeah, I guess I did pretty good, huh?
I did do a terrific job. Ha, ha!
- Thank you. - Hey, it's okay.
- Gracias, gracias. - Anytime.
- 'Thank you.' - Ha-ha ha.
- Congratulations. - 'Gracias.'
What a life.
I bring a baby into the world and become an orphan myself.
All in one day.
Okay, Ponch, I tell you what.
If your motor home isn't fixed
you can move into my apartment.
[laughs] I thought you'd never ask.
[laughs]
- 'That's--' - For a little while.
[laughs]
[bike engine revving]
[theme music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
Well, if it isn't Ponch the pediatrician.
Congratulations, guys.
You cheapskate.
It was a whole baby.
Hey, uh, my wife is four months along.
Are you guys gonna be available?
Dr. Jon would be okay. But sure got an ugly nurse.
[laughter]
What do you guys know? You're car cops. Ha!
Hey! We do know Getraer wants to see you guys on the double.
I wonder what Getraer wants with us.
Probably wants to offer congratulations.
[both chuckle]
Hi, sarge. Wanna see us?
Uh, yeah. Uh, you guys wanna take a seat?
I bet you wanna offer congratulations
on the delivery of a beautiful baby girl, huh?
Uh, Ponch, baby boy, remember, baby boy?
Hey, either way, it was a baby. Hey, and it wasn't easy, sarge.
I mean, the strain alone can wear down a normal man.
Yet, uh, me and my faithful partner here, uh
we delivered new life into this world
under the most adverse conditions, sarge.
Fine, Frank, fine.
Now, would you mind sitting down?
[sighs]
Look, uh..
I had a complaint today.
Seems that one of my, uh, motor officers
was a little more than charming to a certain female motorist.
[Getraer] 'I believe the term's called "coming on strong."'
The, uh, young lady checked the squad pictures out in the hall
and, uh, picked you out, Jon.
Wait a minute, she picked me?
Yeah and it's more than just being
a little friendly with the ladies, uh.
She claims that you upset her
and she pulled out into traffic without looking.
- Eh, I wasn't even there. - I know you weren't, Jon.
But that couple you played doctor for?
Well, they identified her car as the one that cut 'em off
and you as the officer involved.
In fact, she said that you, uh, came to check him out once
and then left to get your partner.
Listen, I don't care what they said.
It's not true. I was--
Jon, I believe you, you know that.
Alright, then, why don't we go out--
Look, departmental procedure..
...departmental procedure says that I have got to
follow through with the report, don't you understand?
Yeah, yeah, I understand.
Look, you were the only one on the beat at that time.
And that girl says she spoke to a uniformed officer
and swears it was you.
Uh, sarge, uh
maybe it was one of those, uh, play cops.
Yeah, right, I mean, one of those whackos
that gets off thinking they're one of us.
Uh, that's what I've been thinking.
It's a possibility, and if so
uh, well, this guy's dangerous.
Well, look, anyway, for the record
look, y-you guys never ride alone
and they say this officer was alone.
Ah, uh, wait a minute, Ponch, as a matter--
Hey, hey, Jon, uh, we better get going.
Don't worry, Sarge'll take care of everything.
Right, sarge, right? See you later.
Hey, come on, old buddy. We gotta get going. He's busy.
We've taken enough of his time, come on.
Yeah, uh, you guys can, uh, go.
Hey, Ponch, uh...you really didn't have to cover for me.
Hey, I wasn't. I was covering for me.
It was my emergency, remember?
Yeah.
What I can't understand is how that girl
could say she could identify me.
I wasn't even there.
Hey, come on, Jon.
Between the glasses, the uniform and the helmet
the public can't tell us apart.
You know, uh, you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.
[horns honking]
[bike engines revving]
[horns honking]
Pull it over!
Alright, I wanna see everybody's license
and registration, please.
[woman giggling]
Uh, may I see your, uh, driver's license
and registration, please?
Uh, look, officer
I'm really sorry about this.
But this really isn't my fault, you see.
Yeah, well, you were going over 80
you're weaving in and out of traffic.
I mean, if you keep that rate up
you're gonna be celebrating a funeral
instead of a wedding.
Yes, sir.
Will you knock it off?
[chuckles] Must be the champagne.
Wait a minute. You've been drinking?
Oh, no, no, sir, not me.
Uh, she has, uh, my girlfriend. I mean, my wife.
Just a few glasses, that's all.
Oh. Heh.
Thank you.
[male #2] 'Look, I'm sorry about this.'
We're just trying to get away on our honeymoon, you see
And, well, these are my friends back here, they, uh..
'...they followed me from the party here.'
'We're just trying to get away.'
'They think, you know, just fooling around.'
Today.
Hey, look, I'm sorry if I caused any problems. My friends too.
You know, they just think it's funny doing this.
Hey, it'd be funny at 55.
Yes, sir. I tell you, I-I'm really sorry about that.
See, I was trying to outrun 'em.
I'm in the Navy. I just got a couple days' leave.
Uh, ah, I'm trying to get away, that's all.
- Yeah, uh, you're on leave? - 'Yes, sir.'
Okay, uh, I'll be with you in just a minute, alright?
[giggling]
The guy probably has a 24-hour leave too.
- Alright, where's Dorfner? - Hey, Ponch, uh, listen.
Hey, uh, partner, you're gonna have to help me out with this.
It's gonna take an hour to write these up.
- An hour? - At least, yeah.
That's just enough time.
What are you talking about?
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll give you an hour's head start
on your buddies back there
and, uh, just keep it at 55 and just
consider it a present from the California Highway Patrol.
- Terrific. - Thank you, officer.
You're really super.
- Yeah. - Thank you.
Thank you. I really appreciate this.
You bet. Have a nice honeymoon.
Thank you.
Hey, what happened?
It's okay. We deliver babies too.
[laughs]
- Huh? - Uh, they escaped.
[instrumental music]
[grunting]
[grunts]
[music continues]
How's it going?
[Ponch] 'Hey, you take this.'
Okay, Ponch.
And this one.
Oh, matched luggage. Eh, does it come in any other colors?
Hey, I forgot my weights.
Ponch, you're only gonna be here one night, remember?
One single night.
Hey, I can't let my body get flabby, can I?
How are you gonna play with this thing with no strings?
Oh, I was gonna restring it while I was here.
Yeah, okay. Here.
[female #2] Hi, Jon.
Hey, how you doing, Sandy?
Fine, thanks. I'll talk to you later.
- Okay. - Who's that?
Uh, just a neighbor.
My hero. Perfect timing. The bundle on the right is yours.
Uh, thanks a lot, Alice.
[door opens]
[Ponch] 'Hey.'
I'll get the door, partner.
Okay, Ponch.
Wow, how do you do it? Neat as a pin.
- Hey. Hi, Dana. - Hi, Jon.
Different lifestyles, Ponch. That's all.
I'm sorry, Jon. I didn't realize you had company.
Oh, hey, that's okay. I'm Ponch.
And, uh, I'm gonna be staying here with Jon for a while.
Will I be seeing a lotta you?
I, uh, think you've seen enough already.
- Hey, let me-- - Hey, uh.
Y-you don't have to go, can't, can't you stay?
Oh, that's okay. I'm losing my sun anyway.
I'll see you later. Thanks, Jon.
You bet.
- I'll talk to you later. - Okay.
- Bye-bye. - Bye.
- Who is that? - That is Dana.
Dana, huh?
Hey, come on, Jon, you know what I mean. What's her story?
She's just a stew and she's a neighbor and, uh
she doesn't get sun on her side of the building so she comes
over here and, uh, uses the terrace whenever she wants.
Yeah, And that laundry chick, who's that?
[Baker] Oh, uh...now, see, that was Alice.
Uh, she's a legal secretary.
And I supply the quarter, she does the wash.
She's just a good friend, that's all.
Yeah, well, how many friends like that
you got around here, huh?
Uh.
Well, let's see, There's, um..
...there's Nancy, she's upstairs.
And she comes and does the cooking once in a while.
There's, uh, Charlene. There's Mary.
She does the shopping once in a while.
Charlene's the one that comes in
and does a little dusting.
Yeah, well, how come you didn't tell me
about these lovelies before, partner?
Hey, I didn't know it was important to you, okay?
You didn't know it was important?
Hey, Ponch, I mean, do you really have to
put all that stuff in there?
Hey, come on. I gotta keep this stuff fresh.
Oh, come on, that stuff has enough preservatives
in it to last forever.
Hey, Jon, you know I like the filling in my Ding Dongs
at a certain temperature?
Oh, yes, so they don't get gooey, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
[both chuckle]
[instrumental music]
[Ponch snoring]
[Baker] 'Uh, no more rock at this hour.'
[Ponch snoring]
Oh, Ponch.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[indistinct chattering]
Hey, the roommates look a little tired this morning.
[laughter]
You bet I'm tired. I mean, like, how can a man sleep?
Every time I'm about to doze off
another beautiful lady comes wandering into
the apartment to see if Jon needs anything.
I mean, like, he's been adopted by 30 foxy ladies
who tend to his every need.
Hey, come on, all they are is just--
And he calls them friends.
He's the friendliest guy in the whole building.
Oh, and, like, the door, it opens automatically
to the sound of female breathing.
Oh, yeah, okay, old buddy.
It's the kid's turn, okay, I mean you can't believe this guy.
Stays in my apartment, everybody knows him, right?
He snores all night long, makes these animal noises
and, uh, he starts walking around at 2:30 in the morning.
- Hey, I get hungry. - Oh, he gets hungry.
You know what, he sleeps with a teddy, a little teddy.
I've seen him hug it with my own eyes.
It's not a teddy, it's a pillow.
Oh, it's a pillow. I tell you.
That's the brownest, fuzziest, wooziest
little pillow I've ever seen.
- Yeah, but-- - You love it, Ponch.
Why, you love that little..?
Ah, alright, alright, maybe.
But if I had all the friends you had, I wouldn't need it.
Like, uh, Alice-friend
Mary-friend, Jane-friend, huh?
So that's where they all end up, huh, Jon?
What do you mean?
Oh, come on.
I saw you up on the Hollywood yesterday.
[Barry] 'Hitting up on that brunette in the sedan.'
- You saw me? - Yeah.
Hey, come on, Bar, that wasn't Jon.
So, what's the description of this guy you saw, uh, Baricza?
Well, uh, could've been Jon's twin brother.
Tall, blond hair, looked just like him.
- You're positive? - Yeah, hey, sarge.
I'd recognize that blond baton anywhere.
[Barry] 'It's a Baker trademark.'
Looks like our theory of a double's
right on target, fellas.
I meant to tell you something, sarge.
Uh, Ponch and I were separated yesterday.
[chuckles]
I had a personal emergency.
- Uh, what time? - Between 10 and 10:30.
Time of the accident.
Sorry, sarge.
Look, we're all gonna be sorry if we don't find this character.
Because right now I have to send in a report to Sacramento
saying that you were alone at the time of the incident.
What kinda turkey rides around on a motorcycle
thinking he's a cop, anyway?
Well, the MO's usually the same.
They think the uniform and the power that goes with it
'is an answer to an uneventful life.'
[Getraer] Guys who wanted to be cops who couldn't make the grade
usually because of twisted minds rather than bodies.
Oh, they're usually not out to hurt anybody
just to play hero.
In this case, to impress the ladies.
Of course, the real danger is that in an emergency situation
on the freeway when people look to him
for help, he obviously can't deliver.
Most of the time, the, uh, public
can't tell the difference between us and them.
And of course, that's the real problem for us.
Now, this, uh, particular turkey is without conscience.
He caused a very serious accident and left the scene.
So we've gotta find him and fast.
We can't do it in here.
So let's, uh, get the brief
and get out of here, hmm?
Hey, I'll never leave you alone again, partner.
Thanks.
[Baker] 'Hey, that's Getraer.'
[Ponch] 'Yeah, looks like he's hitting'
'the bricks for once.'
[car starting]
[tires squealing]
[sirens blaring]
[instrumental music]
[sirens blaring]
[tires screeching]
[music continues]
[bikes revving]
[sirens blaring]
[tires screeching]
[female #3] Oh!
[tires screeching]
[splashing]
[Ponch] Eeh! Ouch!
[Ponch] Alright, mister, you're under arrest.
[male #3] Shove it, pig, just shove it.
Eeh...ouch!
[Ponch] 'Give it up!'
[male #3] Mm, uh.
You could've killed somebody, hot shot.
- Highway's not a drag strip. - Back off, pig.
- I'm in no mood for a sermon. - Oh, you're not, huh?
[Getraer] 'Well, you're gonna get one anyway.'
- Come here. - Come on, he's talking to you.
Put your left hand on your head.
Big deal.
Look, you may not give 2 cents for your life
but there's a heck of a lotta of other people
out there who do care about theirs.
Oh, that's real funny.
Is that why you ran me off the road?
'Cause you're worried about life?
Look, that's a stolen car, and that's a felony.
You call the shots, kid.
Oh.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
[birds chirping]
Hey. What's the matter with you?
Is it cops?
Or do you just hate the world in general?
What's it to you?
You're gonna arrest me?
Or we gonna stand around here
and play Reform School all day?
I think that's a little too late for that, old buddy, come on.
[instrumental music]
[hammering]
Hey, how you doing?
Pretty good. How you doing?
I mean, the motor home. You almost finished with it?
Soon as I'm done.
[sighs] Let me start all over again.
The motor home, this one, it's mine.
When will you have it fixed?
- This one? - Yeah.
Ooh, we got a problem.
I couldn't get a replacement generator for it.
That thing's so old
they don't make 'em anymore.
I don't know what we're gonna do.
Oh, you gotta be kidding.
No.
Hey, what am I gonna do? I need it. I live in it.
In that? You gotta be kidding.
It don't look like anybody could live in there.
Hey, never mind the inside.
You're supposed to be working on the generator.
Well...I got a generator
that's almost like the one that burnt out.
But I'm gonna have to rewire that thing.
It'll take me another day.
Another day?
You live in there too?
Uh, no, I was just curious. Thanks.
- Hey, I'll do the best I can. - Please do, okay?
I miss my home sweet home.
Yeah, and I miss mine too.
[instrumental music]
[air blowing]
[music continues]
[door opens]
Oh, hi, Jon. I was just using your hair dryer.
I blew the fuse in my apartment. Is it okay?
- Oh, sure. - Great. Thanks.
You bet.
-Hi. -Hi.
- Bye. - Bye.
[Ponch sighs]
How come you didn't ask her to stay?
[sighs]
'Cause she was finished drying her hair.
Well, you should've asked her to stay for some coffee.
I would've offered her a Ding Dong or something.
What's the matter?
I don't know, just this double-character thing's
starting to get me down.
Hey, easy, huh?
You know the whole squad is behind you.
Yeah. I know.
[Ponch sighs]
I mean, we're gonna get this dude.
Hey, that's a promise from old Ponch to his best buddy.
Yeah. Thanks, Ponch.
I just hope it happens soon.
Hey, it will be, partner. It will be.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
Hello, officer.
May I see your driver's license
and registration, please?
What did I do?
You were doing 40 in a 35-mile zone.
That's ridiculous. I wasn't going over 30.
Are you gonna gimme your driver's license
or am I got to run you in?
Alright.
[sighs]
Hmm.
"Jobina Dennings, 166 Ivy Lane."
Ivy Lane, that's the swinging singles place
over by Eagle Street, isn't it?
Look, if you're gonna write me a ticket
then do it and get it over with.
Hey, look here, babe.
'What do you say you just drive on home'
'say and I'll tag along behind you?'
And then I'll stop up for a little nightcap. And, uh--
How dare you?
Look, I want you to know..
...Officer Block, I'm gonna report you.
Oh, no, you don't.
What are you doing? Give me back my keys.
Let me have those.
What are you doing?
I know what goes on in those swinging single places.
But a cop who risks his life every day in the line of duty
isn't good enough for you, is he, huh?
Let me go. You're scaring. Let me go. No!
Are you crazy? Let me go. What do you think you're doing?
[Jobina] Oh, what you--
[Ponch] 'Not a bad movie, huh, partner?'
[Baker] 'Yeah, Ponch, thanks. It was a good idea.'
[Ponch] 'Hey, looks like one of our guys is in trouble.'
Give me those keys back or...doing?
[Jobina] 'Let...what.'
[Jobina grunting]
Hold it. We're CHPs.
[Block] She was resisting arrest.
He's a liar.
- Let me go. - Ma'am. I heard you.
- 'Let me go.' - Hey, hey.
I'm gonna report both of you!
- You're in it together. - Ma'am. Ma'am.
Let me go.
We don't wanna hurt you, alright?
- 'Ma'am, easy, easy.' - 'See, what am I do to two?'
[Jobina] 'Don't...let me go .'
[Baker] 'Could you relax a minute, we don't want--'
[male #4] 'Alright, hold it.'
'Freeze it right there.'
Lady, step away from them.
Okay, now, what's going on?
Their friend stopped me and then made dirty insinuations
and attacked me and then these two
came along and and helped him.
Hey, listen, we're CHPs, okay?
Uh, we're gonna reach for our IDs.
Well, you do it very slowly.
[Baker sighs]
[Ponch sighs]
We were assisting another officer and, um..
Where did he go?
[Baker] 'Hey, he split.'
He's a phony officer, I mean, haven't you heard about him?
- The phony CHP officer? - Yeah, the phony.
We had a Teletype in briefing on him. Yeah.
You mean.. He wasn't a real cop?
Well, listen, we're gonna have to--
Please, I-I-I just wanna go home.
I don't, I-I can't take any more of this.
Listen, ma'am, we don't blame you
after what that jerk put you through
and, uh, us coming along and making it worse.
Yeah, really, just relax and everything will be fine.
- Hey, could-- - You look like him.
[instrumental music]
What?
[voice trembling] You look like him.
Yeah, I know.
I gotta write a report on this.
Hey, uh, my partner's, uh, really good with reports.
He'll give you a hand, right, partner?
Yeah, thanks, Ponch.
Listen, we're really sorry.
Really, now.
I think I'm too shaky to drive home.
We'll be glad to drive you home.
Hey.
I mean that as innocent as it sounds.
[instrumental music]
Please.
Thanks.
Alright. Come.
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
Why me?
[music stops]
What's the matter? Power go off?
Hey, you are off, alright?
I mean, you're not only a danger to yourself
you're a danger to my peace of mind.
Aw, 'cause of a little music?
Aw, come on, Jon, it's too quiet around here.
No sounds, no beat.
Listen, put a seashell up your ear
and listen to the beat of the seashore, okay?
I mean, I don't wanna share it with you.
[sighs]
Uh, I don't know, m-maybe, uh..
...maybe nothing's wrong with you, all this stuff..
[sighs]
I don't maybe I'm crazy. I don't know.
Just wonder how much a new motor home for you is gonna cost.
[sighs]
[female #4] 'Who is it?'
Uh, it's-it's Jon.
Oh, Jon, hi.
Hi. Alright, listen.
Uh, I'm sorry, can I borrow your couch for the night?
Sure, come on in.
What is with you, you turkey?
Just 'cause you drive a monster like this
doesn't give you right of way.
Well, maybe the signal broke
but I am big enough for you to see, stupid!
Oh, yeah, well, I got better things
to look for than dummies like you.
Oh-oh, yeah, if-if you wanna test your bumper
why don't you just drive into a brick wall, alright?
Well, at least, a brick wall's got more brains than you.
Oh! Brains, brains!
You do not know the meaning of the word "brains"!
Oh, yeah, don't you realize you are blocking
half a city street with this big train?
It was right there, if you'd watch where you were going!
- Oh, watch where I was going? - Goddamn little car!
You talk about brains, fellow.
Well, it's a big locomotive, how can you hit it?
- You can't even see, can you? - Oh, I can.
[sirens blaring]
[male #5] 'I'm going to teach you a lesson.'
LA 15..
I am gonna teach you a lesson
because I can take it--
Hey, hey, hey! Calm down, alright?
[Ponch] ...involving a locomotive and a sports car..
Listen, it doesn't look like anybody's injured.
No use getting injured by fighting, huh?
Alright.
Need an 11-84 for assistance.
[dramatic music]
[male #6] Oh, do me a favor, will you? Put out an APB on his brain.
[Baker] How about doing me a favor, okay? You guys finished?
Get a load of the size of that thing.
Must be a heck of a thing to drive, huh?
Yeah, we gotta get this traffic cleared up. So can you move it?
- Nope. - What do you mean?
I'm not moving until all the paperwork's filled out.
Hey, want it moved?
Move it yourself.
I'll make a deal with you.
[mouths] Shh.
We'll both move the engine. Deal?
Well, maybe.
Hey, cutie. Hey, what's happening?
[grunts]
How many horsepower has she got?
- Uh, thirty-six hundred. - Thirty-six hundred?
- Yep. - Wow!
Uh...you, uh, wanna try?
Oh, um, uh, no, I mean, uh!
I don't know how. I mean, I couldn't.
Well, it's your last chance.
Well, no, I mean, like, I'm in uniform and everything.
And I couldn't, uh..
[instrumental music]
Hey, Jon.
[music continues]
[sirens blaring]
[music continues]
He's mine, babe.
Not till I'm finished with him.
[music continues]
[sirens blaring]
[tires screech]
[groans]
[dramatic music]
He's even better-looking than you are.
Wait a minute.
Are you guys really cops?
Yeah.
We're really cops.
Except it comes from the inside
not from what you're wearing.
[instrumental music]
[speaking in foreign language]
[singing in foreign language]
- 'Hey, yeah?' - How you doing?
Okay, how you doing?
Now, wait a minute, wait a minute
let's not go through that number again.
I'm the cop who owns the problem you're working on.
Oh, this one? Yeah, it's okay, I guess.
Well, is that just a guess?
[male #7] 'Well, you see, I got the generator hooked up'
'but I can't get the dumb thing to work.'
Hey, wait a minute.
You said you'd have that thing fixed today.
Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I'm gonna need more time.
- Here, Ponch. - What are you doing?
You can have my apartment, my stereo
my car, everything, alright?
- What? - Yeah.
You can have Cerie, Roni, Sandy
Charlene, Alice, all of 'em.
- Well, what are you gonna do? - I'm gonna stay right here.
[theme music]