1 00:00:05,495 --> 00:00:07,367 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:27,430 --> 00:00:29,345 [music continues] 3 00:00:46,406 --> 00:00:48,321 [music continues] 4 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,499 [mouths] What? Me? 5 00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:19,265 [dramatic music] 6 00:01:24,748 --> 00:01:28,012 How dare you? That's the crudest remark I've ever heard. 7 00:01:28,056 --> 00:01:29,971 [tires screeching] 8 00:01:40,982 --> 00:01:43,289 Esta bien? Esta bien? 9 00:01:43,332 --> 00:01:45,726 [speaking in foreign language] 10 00:01:45,769 --> 00:01:47,467 - Ooh. - It's okay. It's.. 11 00:01:54,038 --> 00:01:55,518 ...it's okay, we'll get you to a hospital. 12 00:01:55,562 --> 00:01:56,650 [panting] 13 00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:02,960 [female #1] Okay, okay, okay. 14 00:02:03,004 --> 00:02:05,659 [Speaking in Spanish] 15 00:02:05,702 --> 00:02:06,747 [female #1] Por favor. 16 00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:09,619 My wife, she have a baby now! 17 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,013 It's okay. Okay. 18 00:02:12,056 --> 00:02:13,971 [speaking in Spanish] 19 00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:16,844 Hey! 20 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:19,325 [male #1] 'Hey, come back!' 21 00:02:19,368 --> 00:02:20,761 Hey, come back! 22 00:02:21,936 --> 00:02:23,807 Hey, don't leave me! 23 00:02:23,851 --> 00:02:25,592 [male #1] 'Come back, officer!' 24 00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:28,725 [instrumental music] 25 00:02:50,312 --> 00:02:52,227 [music continues] 26 00:02:54,751 --> 00:02:57,276 Ten minutes? More like 30. 27 00:02:57,319 --> 00:02:58,929 It was an emergency. 28 00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,670 I'll split it with you. Fifteen. 29 00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,672 Yeah, well, now I know why you're always broke. 30 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,066 You can't add. Come on, what happened? 31 00:03:05,109 --> 00:03:07,242 My motor home had a sudden illness. 32 00:03:07,286 --> 00:03:08,591 The generator died. 33 00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:10,506 No electricity, no water pressure 34 00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:12,552 no air conditioning, no nothing. 35 00:03:12,595 --> 00:03:14,249 I had to get a mechanic to fix it. 36 00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:17,296 [laughs] A mechanic? You need a surgeon. 37 00:03:17,339 --> 00:03:18,732 [laughs] 38 00:03:18,775 --> 00:03:20,560 Alright, you can laugh but you got a home 39 00:03:20,603 --> 00:03:21,996 you got a place to stay. 40 00:03:22,039 --> 00:03:24,781 All I got is an emergency on wheels. 41 00:03:24,825 --> 00:03:26,218 Thirty minute emergency. 42 00:03:26,261 --> 00:03:28,655 We'll have to see if Getraer thinks so. 43 00:03:28,698 --> 00:03:30,352 Hey, he's just a sergeant. 44 00:03:30,396 --> 00:03:32,224 Nobody asked him to think. 45 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,880 Help! Help! 46 00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,798 Over here! Help me, please! 47 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:44,105 [male #1] Over here! Come! Over here! 48 00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:46,934 [male #1] 'Help! Help, please!' 49 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,153 You came back. Gracias, gracias,you came back. 50 00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:51,286 - Very good. - What do you mean I came back? 51 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:54,158 [Ponch] '11-82 Northbound on Hollywood at Alvarado.' 52 00:03:54,202 --> 00:03:55,769 Quick, mi esposa. 53 00:03:57,423 --> 00:03:59,338 [whimpering] 54 00:04:01,427 --> 00:04:02,819 Hey, Ponch, call for an ambulance. 55 00:04:02,863 --> 00:04:04,343 'Make sure it's equipped for a premature.' 56 00:04:04,386 --> 00:04:05,779 'This lady doesn't have much time.' 57 00:04:05,822 --> 00:04:07,476 [moaning] 58 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,173 - 'Easy, easy.' - LA. 15.. 59 00:04:09,217 --> 00:04:12,264 ...roll a county rescue for emergency in childbirth. 60 00:04:12,307 --> 00:04:13,874 Just a minute now. 61 00:04:13,917 --> 00:04:15,832 [melancholic music] 62 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,534 [sobbing] I'm afraid. 63 00:04:21,577 --> 00:04:23,187 I'm afraid. 64 00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:25,146 There you are. There you are. 65 00:04:25,189 --> 00:04:26,582 There you are, uh. 66 00:04:26,626 --> 00:04:28,454 Okay, now, just bear down. Relax, okay. 67 00:04:28,497 --> 00:04:29,933 Let Mother Nature take its course. 68 00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:32,240 - 'Bear down.' - I'm-I'm afraid. 69 00:04:32,284 --> 00:04:33,981 No, no, I can't. 70 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,852 - 'No.' - Deep breathing. 71 00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,811 [huffing] 72 00:04:40,553 --> 00:04:42,076 [whimpering] 73 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,775 [Jon] 'Come on, come on. Just take it easy.' 74 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,038 I can't, I can't, I can't. 75 00:04:48,082 --> 00:04:49,344 I'm gonna lose my baby. 76 00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:51,651 [Ponch] 'No, no, no. You're not.' 77 00:04:51,694 --> 00:04:52,739 Just hang on. 78 00:04:52,782 --> 00:04:54,436 Everything's gonna be okay. 79 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,178 [female #1] 'Oh, please, it's our first baby.' 80 00:04:57,221 --> 00:04:58,571 We can't lose it. 81 00:04:58,614 --> 00:05:01,008 Nothing can happen. 82 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,531 [female #1] 'Please don't let nothing happen.' 83 00:05:02,575 --> 00:05:03,750 Oh. everything is gonna be great. 84 00:05:03,793 --> 00:05:05,012 Everything's gonna be great. 85 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,970 [speaking in Spanish] 86 00:05:12,411 --> 00:05:13,847 We do this all the time. 87 00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,718 Yeah, we do this all the time. We're experts. 88 00:05:15,762 --> 00:05:17,938 - We're specialists. - Yeah. 89 00:05:17,981 --> 00:05:20,549 I'm the second best baby deliverer in the world. 90 00:05:20,593 --> 00:05:24,074 He's the first. You're a very lucky woman, you know that? 91 00:05:24,118 --> 00:05:26,555 [sobs] 92 00:05:26,599 --> 00:05:28,209 Thank you. Gracias. 93 00:05:28,252 --> 00:05:29,950 [Speaking in Spanish] 94 00:05:29,993 --> 00:05:31,647 [Ponch] 'You know, at least you have a car.' 95 00:05:31,691 --> 00:05:33,867 My mother had me in a bus. 96 00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:36,565 And look how beautiful I turned out, eh? 97 00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:39,394 [female #1] Ugh! No. No. Gracias. 98 00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:41,353 [grunting] 99 00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:45,095 Okay, j-just bear down one last time, okay? 100 00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:46,836 Just bear down one last time. 101 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,795 [melancholic music] 102 00:05:55,932 --> 00:05:57,281 [chuckles] 103 00:05:57,325 --> 00:05:58,413 Ponch, look. 104 00:05:58,457 --> 00:06:01,285 [baby crying] 105 00:06:01,329 --> 00:06:02,678 [laughs] 106 00:06:07,509 --> 00:06:09,468 I'm a father! I'm a father! 107 00:06:09,511 --> 00:06:11,121 I'm a father. 108 00:06:11,165 --> 00:06:14,386 Hey, no cigars. I'm sorry. Next time, I have, huh? 109 00:06:14,429 --> 00:06:16,736 [chuckles] 110 00:06:16,779 --> 00:06:19,216 - It's a girl! - No, it's a boy. 111 00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:21,523 Okay, it's a boy! 112 00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:22,959 [laughs] 113 00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:24,918 [tires screech] 114 00:06:28,878 --> 00:06:30,706 - 'Hey, where were you guys?' - Delivering a baby. 115 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,926 Yeah, well, welcome to the club. 116 00:06:32,969 --> 00:06:34,449 [Ponch chuckles] 117 00:06:34,493 --> 00:06:37,191 [baby crying] 118 00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:38,192 Ah. 119 00:06:41,456 --> 00:06:43,545 Hey, partner, you were beautiful. 120 00:06:43,589 --> 00:06:46,287 You got hands of a surgeon, did you know that? 121 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,202 Yeah, well, I had a little help from Mother Nature. 122 00:06:48,245 --> 00:06:50,334 But, uh, hey, you didn't do too bad yourself. 123 00:06:50,378 --> 00:06:52,946 [chuckles] Yeah, I guess I did pretty good, huh? 124 00:06:52,989 --> 00:06:55,165 I did do a terrific job. Ha, ha! 125 00:06:55,209 --> 00:06:57,124 - Thank you. - Hey, it's okay. 126 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,256 - Gracias, gracias. - Anytime. 127 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:00,519 - 'Thank you.' - Ha-ha ha. 128 00:07:00,562 --> 00:07:02,999 - Congratulations. - 'Gracias.' 129 00:07:08,788 --> 00:07:10,529 What a life. 130 00:07:10,572 --> 00:07:14,315 I bring a baby into the world and become an orphan myself. 131 00:07:14,358 --> 00:07:15,664 All in one day. 132 00:07:22,845 --> 00:07:25,805 Okay, Ponch, I tell you what. 133 00:07:25,848 --> 00:07:27,589 If your motor home isn't fixed 134 00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:30,418 you can move into my apartment. 135 00:07:30,462 --> 00:07:31,941 [laughs] I thought you'd never ask. 136 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:34,117 [laughs] 137 00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:35,858 - 'That's--' - For a little while. 138 00:07:35,902 --> 00:07:36,946 [laughs] 139 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,125 [bike engine revving] 140 00:07:46,129 --> 00:07:48,044 [theme music] 141 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,942 [music continues] 142 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:29,390 [music continues] 143 00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:58,680 [instrumental music] 144 00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:22,791 Well, if it isn't Ponch the pediatrician. 145 00:09:22,835 --> 00:09:25,141 Congratulations, guys. 146 00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:26,708 You cheapskate. 147 00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:29,624 It was a whole baby. 148 00:09:29,668 --> 00:09:31,147 Hey, uh, my wife is four months along. 149 00:09:31,191 --> 00:09:33,628 Are you guys gonna be available? 150 00:09:33,672 --> 00:09:36,588 Dr. Jon would be okay. But sure got an ugly nurse. 151 00:09:36,631 --> 00:09:38,590 [laughter] 152 00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:41,810 What do you guys know? You're car cops. Ha! 153 00:09:41,854 --> 00:09:44,552 Hey! We do know Getraer wants to see you guys on the double. 154 00:09:44,596 --> 00:09:46,380 I wonder what Getraer wants with us. 155 00:09:46,423 --> 00:09:48,556 Probably wants to offer congratulations. 156 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,297 [both chuckle] 157 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,734 Hi, sarge. Wanna see us? 158 00:09:52,778 --> 00:09:55,998 Uh, yeah. Uh, you guys wanna take a seat? 159 00:09:56,042 --> 00:09:57,826 I bet you wanna offer congratulations 160 00:09:57,870 --> 00:10:00,220 on the delivery of a beautiful baby girl, huh? 161 00:10:00,263 --> 00:10:03,049 Uh, Ponch, baby boy, remember, baby boy? 162 00:10:03,092 --> 00:10:06,705 Hey, either way, it was a baby. Hey, and it wasn't easy, sarge. 163 00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:09,272 I mean, the strain alone can wear down a normal man. 164 00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:12,667 Yet, uh, me and my faithful partner here, uh 165 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:14,277 we delivered new life into this world 166 00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:16,628 under the most adverse conditions, sarge. 167 00:10:16,671 --> 00:10:18,325 Fine, Frank, fine. 168 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,109 Now, would you mind sitting down? 169 00:10:23,983 --> 00:10:24,984 [sighs] 170 00:10:25,027 --> 00:10:26,115 Look, uh.. 171 00:10:27,682 --> 00:10:29,597 I had a complaint today. 172 00:10:29,641 --> 00:10:32,731 Seems that one of my, uh, motor officers 173 00:10:32,774 --> 00:10:35,908 was a little more than charming to a certain female motorist. 174 00:10:35,951 --> 00:10:38,432 [Getraer] 'I believe the term's called "coming on strong."' 175 00:10:38,475 --> 00:10:41,000 The, uh, young lady checked the squad pictures out in the hall 176 00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:43,655 and, uh, picked you out, Jon. 177 00:10:45,091 --> 00:10:46,570 Wait a minute, she picked me? 178 00:10:46,614 --> 00:10:47,833 Yeah and it's more than just being 179 00:10:47,876 --> 00:10:50,139 a little friendly with the ladies, uh. 180 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,706 She claims that you upset her 181 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:54,187 and she pulled out into traffic without looking. 182 00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:56,885 - Eh, I wasn't even there. - I know you weren't, Jon. 183 00:10:56,929 --> 00:10:59,279 But that couple you played doctor for? 184 00:10:59,322 --> 00:11:01,324 Well, they identified her car as the one that cut 'em off 185 00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:03,065 and you as the officer involved. 186 00:11:03,109 --> 00:11:06,416 In fact, she said that you, uh, came to check him out once 187 00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:07,635 and then left to get your partner. 188 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:08,984 Listen, I don't care what they said. 189 00:11:09,028 --> 00:11:10,290 It's not true. I was-- 190 00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:12,205 Jon, I believe you, you know that. 191 00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:13,249 Alright, then, why don't we go out-- 192 00:11:13,293 --> 00:11:15,034 Look, departmental procedure.. 193 00:11:17,253 --> 00:11:19,691 ...departmental procedure says that I have got to 194 00:11:19,734 --> 00:11:21,910 follow through with the report, don't you understand? 195 00:11:23,956 --> 00:11:26,785 Yeah, yeah, I understand. 196 00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:30,092 Look, you were the only one on the beat at that time. 197 00:11:30,136 --> 00:11:32,878 And that girl says she spoke to a uniformed officer 198 00:11:32,921 --> 00:11:34,793 and swears it was you. 199 00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:37,143 Uh, sarge, uh 200 00:11:37,186 --> 00:11:40,320 maybe it was one of those, uh, play cops. 201 00:11:40,363 --> 00:11:42,148 Yeah, right, I mean, one of those whackos 202 00:11:42,191 --> 00:11:44,411 that gets off thinking they're one of us. 203 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:45,760 Uh, that's what I've been thinking. 204 00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:47,196 It's a possibility, and if so 205 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,678 uh, well, this guy's dangerous. 206 00:11:50,722 --> 00:11:52,027 Well, look, anyway, for the record 207 00:11:52,071 --> 00:11:54,073 look, y-you guys never ride alone 208 00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:56,597 and they say this officer was alone. 209 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,164 Ah, uh, wait a minute, Ponch, as a matter-- 210 00:11:58,207 --> 00:11:59,905 Hey, hey, Jon, uh, we better get going. 211 00:11:59,948 --> 00:12:01,602 Don't worry, Sarge'll take care of everything. 212 00:12:01,645 --> 00:12:03,386 Right, sarge, right? See you later. 213 00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,519 Hey, come on, old buddy. We gotta get going. He's busy. 214 00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:07,477 We've taken enough of his time, come on. 215 00:12:07,521 --> 00:12:09,479 Yeah, uh, you guys can, uh, go. 216 00:12:15,877 --> 00:12:19,794 Hey, Ponch, uh...you really didn't have to cover for me. 217 00:12:19,838 --> 00:12:22,623 Hey, I wasn't. I was covering for me. 218 00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:25,191 It was my emergency, remember? 219 00:12:25,234 --> 00:12:26,932 Yeah. 220 00:12:26,975 --> 00:12:28,672 What I can't understand is how that girl 221 00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:30,022 could say she could identify me. 222 00:12:30,065 --> 00:12:31,893 I wasn't even there. 223 00:12:31,937 --> 00:12:33,765 Hey, come on, Jon. 224 00:12:33,808 --> 00:12:35,810 Between the glasses, the uniform and the helmet 225 00:12:35,854 --> 00:12:38,465 the public can't tell us apart. 226 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:41,860 You know, uh, you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. 227 00:12:41,903 --> 00:12:43,818 [horns honking] 228 00:12:50,869 --> 00:12:52,784 [bike engines revving] 229 00:13:07,755 --> 00:13:09,670 [horns honking] 230 00:13:33,085 --> 00:13:34,260 Pull it over! 231 00:13:49,275 --> 00:13:51,146 Alright, I wanna see everybody's license 232 00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:52,887 and registration, please. 233 00:13:54,323 --> 00:13:55,847 [woman giggling] 234 00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:57,500 Uh, may I see your, uh, driver's license 235 00:13:57,544 --> 00:13:58,545 and registration, please? 236 00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,589 Uh, look, officer 237 00:13:59,633 --> 00:14:01,069 I'm really sorry about this. 238 00:14:01,113 --> 00:14:03,593 But this really isn't my fault, you see. 239 00:14:03,637 --> 00:14:04,899 Yeah, well, you were going over 80 240 00:14:04,943 --> 00:14:06,205 you're weaving in and out of traffic. 241 00:14:06,248 --> 00:14:07,597 I mean, if you keep that rate up 242 00:14:07,641 --> 00:14:08,903 you're gonna be celebrating a funeral 243 00:14:08,947 --> 00:14:10,644 instead of a wedding. 244 00:14:10,687 --> 00:14:12,385 Yes, sir. 245 00:14:12,428 --> 00:14:13,647 Will you knock it off? 246 00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:16,345 [chuckles] Must be the champagne. 247 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,912 Wait a minute. You've been drinking? 248 00:14:17,956 --> 00:14:19,305 Oh, no, no, sir, not me. 249 00:14:19,348 --> 00:14:22,569 Uh, she has, uh, my girlfriend. I mean, my wife. 250 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,745 Just a few glasses, that's all. 251 00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:25,877 Oh. Heh. 252 00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:32,927 Thank you. 253 00:14:32,971 --> 00:14:34,494 [male #2] 'Look, I'm sorry about this.' 254 00:14:34,537 --> 00:14:36,626 We're just trying to get away on our honeymoon, you see 255 00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:39,412 And, well, these are my friends back here, they, uh.. 256 00:14:39,455 --> 00:14:41,022 '...they followed me from the party here.' 257 00:14:41,066 --> 00:14:42,415 'We're just trying to get away.' 258 00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:44,156 'They think, you know, just fooling around.' 259 00:14:51,903 --> 00:14:53,556 Today. 260 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,820 Hey, look, I'm sorry if I caused any problems. My friends too. 261 00:14:56,864 --> 00:14:59,214 You know, they just think it's funny doing this. 262 00:14:59,258 --> 00:15:01,260 Hey, it'd be funny at 55. 263 00:15:01,303 --> 00:15:03,566 Yes, sir. I tell you, I-I'm really sorry about that. 264 00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:05,177 See, I was trying to outrun 'em. 265 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:07,570 I'm in the Navy. I just got a couple days' leave. 266 00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:09,311 Uh, ah, I'm trying to get away, that's all. 267 00:15:09,355 --> 00:15:12,793 - Yeah, uh, you're on leave? - 'Yes, sir.' 268 00:15:12,836 --> 00:15:15,970 Okay, uh, I'll be with you in just a minute, alright? 269 00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:17,232 [giggling] 270 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:24,718 The guy probably has a 24-hour leave too. 271 00:15:24,761 --> 00:15:27,112 - Alright, where's Dorfner? - Hey, Ponch, uh, listen. 272 00:15:27,155 --> 00:15:29,810 Hey, uh, partner, you're gonna have to help me out with this. 273 00:15:29,853 --> 00:15:31,551 It's gonna take an hour to write these up. 274 00:15:31,594 --> 00:15:33,292 - An hour? - At least, yeah. 275 00:15:33,335 --> 00:15:35,772 That's just enough time. 276 00:15:35,816 --> 00:15:36,948 What are you talking about? 277 00:15:44,999 --> 00:15:46,218 Okay, I'll tell you what. 278 00:15:46,261 --> 00:15:47,349 I'll give you an hour's head start 279 00:15:47,393 --> 00:15:48,698 on your buddies back there 280 00:15:48,742 --> 00:15:50,657 and, uh, just keep it at 55 and just 281 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,442 consider it a present from the California Highway Patrol. 282 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,618 - Terrific. - Thank you, officer. 283 00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:56,968 You're really super. 284 00:15:57,011 --> 00:15:58,273 - Yeah. - Thank you. 285 00:15:58,317 --> 00:16:00,232 Thank you. I really appreciate this. 286 00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:01,711 You bet. Have a nice honeymoon. 287 00:16:01,755 --> 00:16:02,756 Thank you. 288 00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:08,240 Hey, what happened? 289 00:16:08,283 --> 00:16:10,372 It's okay. We deliver babies too. 290 00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:11,504 [laughs] 291 00:16:11,547 --> 00:16:14,028 - Huh? - Uh, they escaped. 292 00:16:14,072 --> 00:16:15,987 [instrumental music] 293 00:16:21,775 --> 00:16:23,690 [instrumental music] 294 00:16:27,172 --> 00:16:28,347 [grunting] 295 00:16:29,652 --> 00:16:30,827 [grunts] 296 00:16:37,921 --> 00:16:39,836 [music continues] 297 00:16:44,711 --> 00:16:46,930 How's it going? 298 00:16:46,974 --> 00:16:48,845 [Ponch] 'Hey, you take this.' 299 00:16:48,889 --> 00:16:50,238 Okay, Ponch. 300 00:16:52,675 --> 00:16:54,242 And this one. 301 00:16:54,286 --> 00:16:57,289 Oh, matched luggage. Eh, does it come in any other colors? 302 00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:00,683 Hey, I forgot my weights. 303 00:17:00,727 --> 00:17:03,208 Ponch, you're only gonna be here one night, remember? 304 00:17:03,251 --> 00:17:05,471 One single night. 305 00:17:05,514 --> 00:17:07,603 Hey, I can't let my body get flabby, can I? 306 00:17:09,605 --> 00:17:12,130 How are you gonna play with this thing with no strings? 307 00:17:12,173 --> 00:17:14,306 Oh, I was gonna restring it while I was here. 308 00:17:14,349 --> 00:17:16,047 Yeah, okay. Here. 309 00:17:19,528 --> 00:17:20,790 [female #2] Hi, Jon. 310 00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:22,140 Hey, how you doing, Sandy? 311 00:17:22,183 --> 00:17:24,011 Fine, thanks. I'll talk to you later. 312 00:17:24,055 --> 00:17:25,447 - Okay. - Who's that? 313 00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:27,145 Uh, just a neighbor. 314 00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:33,499 My hero. Perfect timing. The bundle on the right is yours. 315 00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:35,370 Uh, thanks a lot, Alice. 316 00:17:35,414 --> 00:17:36,415 [door opens] 317 00:17:36,458 --> 00:17:38,721 [Ponch] 'Hey.' 318 00:17:38,765 --> 00:17:40,158 I'll get the door, partner. 319 00:17:40,201 --> 00:17:41,507 Okay, Ponch. 320 00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:48,688 Wow, how do you do it? Neat as a pin. 321 00:17:50,298 --> 00:17:53,127 - Hey. Hi, Dana. - Hi, Jon. 322 00:17:53,171 --> 00:17:56,217 Different lifestyles, Ponch. That's all. 323 00:17:56,261 --> 00:17:58,524 I'm sorry, Jon. I didn't realize you had company. 324 00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,656 Oh, hey, that's okay. I'm Ponch. 325 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,485 And, uh, I'm gonna be staying here with Jon for a while. 326 00:18:03,529 --> 00:18:05,052 Will I be seeing a lotta you? 327 00:18:05,096 --> 00:18:07,707 I, uh, think you've seen enough already. 328 00:18:09,404 --> 00:18:10,927 - Hey, let me-- - Hey, uh. 329 00:18:10,971 --> 00:18:12,364 Y-you don't have to go, can't, can't you stay? 330 00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:14,801 Oh, that's okay. I'm losing my sun anyway. 331 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,150 I'll see you later. Thanks, Jon. 332 00:18:16,194 --> 00:18:17,412 You bet. 333 00:18:17,456 --> 00:18:19,110 - I'll talk to you later. - Okay. 334 00:18:19,153 --> 00:18:20,111 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 335 00:18:21,808 --> 00:18:24,985 - Who is that? - That is Dana. 336 00:18:25,028 --> 00:18:27,553 Dana, huh? 337 00:18:27,596 --> 00:18:31,905 Hey, come on, Jon, you know what I mean. What's her story? 338 00:18:31,948 --> 00:18:34,560 She's just a stew and she's a neighbor and, uh 339 00:18:34,603 --> 00:18:37,128 she doesn't get sun on her side of the building so she comes 340 00:18:37,171 --> 00:18:40,740 over here and, uh, uses the terrace whenever she wants. 341 00:18:40,783 --> 00:18:44,178 Yeah, And that laundry chick, who's that? 342 00:18:44,222 --> 00:18:46,267 [Baker] Oh, uh...now, see, that was Alice. 343 00:18:46,311 --> 00:18:49,357 Uh, she's a legal secretary. 344 00:18:49,401 --> 00:18:51,229 And I supply the quarter, she does the wash. 345 00:18:51,272 --> 00:18:53,753 She's just a good friend, that's all. 346 00:18:53,796 --> 00:18:55,146 Yeah, well, how many friends like that 347 00:18:55,189 --> 00:18:56,364 you got around here, huh? 348 00:18:57,931 --> 00:19:00,673 Uh. 349 00:19:00,716 --> 00:19:03,763 Well, let's see, There's, um.. 350 00:19:03,806 --> 00:19:05,199 ...there's Nancy, she's upstairs. 351 00:19:05,243 --> 00:19:07,984 And she comes and does the cooking once in a while. 352 00:19:08,028 --> 00:19:10,465 There's, uh, Charlene. There's Mary. 353 00:19:10,509 --> 00:19:11,771 She does the shopping once in a while. 354 00:19:11,814 --> 00:19:12,902 Charlene's the one that comes in 355 00:19:12,946 --> 00:19:14,165 and does a little dusting. 356 00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:15,557 Yeah, well, how come you didn't tell me 357 00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:18,212 about these lovelies before, partner? 358 00:19:18,256 --> 00:19:20,867 Hey, I didn't know it was important to you, okay? 359 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,347 You didn't know it was important? 360 00:19:25,437 --> 00:19:27,700 Hey, Ponch, I mean, do you really have to 361 00:19:27,743 --> 00:19:29,267 put all that stuff in there? 362 00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:32,008 Hey, come on. I gotta keep this stuff fresh. 363 00:19:32,052 --> 00:19:34,228 Oh, come on, that stuff has enough preservatives 364 00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,187 in it to last forever. 365 00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:40,452 Hey, Jon, you know I like the filling in my Ding Dongs 366 00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:41,888 at a certain temperature? 367 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,672 Oh, yes, so they don't get gooey, right? 368 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,239 - Yeah. - Yeah. 369 00:19:45,283 --> 00:19:46,371 [both chuckle] 370 00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:51,332 [instrumental music] 371 00:20:00,341 --> 00:20:01,690 [Ponch snoring] 372 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,127 [Baker] 'Uh, no more rock at this hour.' 373 00:20:04,171 --> 00:20:05,781 [Ponch snoring] 374 00:20:07,914 --> 00:20:10,003 Oh, Ponch. 375 00:20:10,046 --> 00:20:11,961 [instrumental music] 376 00:20:32,634 --> 00:20:34,549 [music continues] 377 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,686 [indistinct chattering] 378 00:20:42,383 --> 00:20:45,691 Hey, the roommates look a little tired this morning. 379 00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:47,345 [laughter] 380 00:20:47,388 --> 00:20:50,826 You bet I'm tired. I mean, like, how can a man sleep? 381 00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,654 Every time I'm about to doze off 382 00:20:52,698 --> 00:20:54,482 another beautiful lady comes wandering into 383 00:20:54,526 --> 00:20:56,789 the apartment to see if Jon needs anything. 384 00:20:56,832 --> 00:21:00,053 I mean, like, he's been adopted by 30 foxy ladies 385 00:21:00,096 --> 00:21:01,620 who tend to his every need. 386 00:21:01,663 --> 00:21:03,012 Hey, come on, all they are is just-- 387 00:21:03,056 --> 00:21:04,884 And he calls them friends. 388 00:21:04,927 --> 00:21:07,190 He's the friendliest guy in the whole building. 389 00:21:07,234 --> 00:21:09,845 Oh, and, like, the door, it opens automatically 390 00:21:09,889 --> 00:21:11,499 to the sound of female breathing. 391 00:21:11,543 --> 00:21:13,588 Oh, yeah, okay, old buddy. 392 00:21:13,632 --> 00:21:16,156 It's the kid's turn, okay, I mean you can't believe this guy. 393 00:21:16,199 --> 00:21:18,158 Stays in my apartment, everybody knows him, right? 394 00:21:18,201 --> 00:21:20,682 He snores all night long, makes these animal noises 395 00:21:20,726 --> 00:21:23,337 and, uh, he starts walking around at 2:30 in the morning. 396 00:21:23,381 --> 00:21:25,165 - Hey, I get hungry. - Oh, he gets hungry. 397 00:21:25,208 --> 00:21:28,473 You know what, he sleeps with a teddy, a little teddy. 398 00:21:28,516 --> 00:21:29,822 I've seen him hug it with my own eyes. 399 00:21:29,865 --> 00:21:31,258 It's not a teddy, it's a pillow. 400 00:21:31,302 --> 00:21:32,738 Oh, it's a pillow. I tell you. 401 00:21:32,781 --> 00:21:34,609 That's the brownest, fuzziest, wooziest 402 00:21:34,653 --> 00:21:36,132 little pillow I've ever seen. 403 00:21:36,176 --> 00:21:38,221 - Yeah, but-- - You love it, Ponch. 404 00:21:38,265 --> 00:21:39,919 Why, you love that little..? 405 00:21:39,962 --> 00:21:41,486 Ah, alright, alright, maybe. 406 00:21:41,529 --> 00:21:44,576 But if I had all the friends you had, I wouldn't need it. 407 00:21:44,619 --> 00:21:46,273 Like, uh, Alice-friend 408 00:21:46,317 --> 00:21:49,189 Mary-friend, Jane-friend, huh? 409 00:21:49,232 --> 00:21:50,669 So that's where they all end up, huh, Jon? 410 00:21:52,323 --> 00:21:53,367 What do you mean? 411 00:21:53,411 --> 00:21:54,803 Oh, come on. 412 00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:56,588 I saw you up on the Hollywood yesterday. 413 00:21:56,631 --> 00:21:58,503 [Barry] 'Hitting up on that brunette in the sedan.' 414 00:22:00,722 --> 00:22:02,594 - You saw me? - Yeah. 415 00:22:02,637 --> 00:22:04,813 Hey, come on, Bar, that wasn't Jon. 416 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:07,729 So, what's the description of this guy you saw, uh, Baricza? 417 00:22:07,773 --> 00:22:10,819 Well, uh, could've been Jon's twin brother. 418 00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:12,517 Tall, blond hair, looked just like him. 419 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,649 - You're positive? - Yeah, hey, sarge. 420 00:22:14,693 --> 00:22:16,738 I'd recognize that blond baton anywhere. 421 00:22:16,782 --> 00:22:19,175 [Barry] 'It's a Baker trademark.' 422 00:22:19,219 --> 00:22:20,481 Looks like our theory of a double's 423 00:22:20,525 --> 00:22:22,440 right on target, fellas. 424 00:22:22,483 --> 00:22:23,919 I meant to tell you something, sarge. 425 00:22:23,963 --> 00:22:26,052 Uh, Ponch and I were separated yesterday. 426 00:22:28,271 --> 00:22:29,272 [chuckles] 427 00:22:29,316 --> 00:22:31,971 I had a personal emergency. 428 00:22:32,014 --> 00:22:35,496 - Uh, what time? - Between 10 and 10:30. 429 00:22:36,802 --> 00:22:38,194 Time of the accident. 430 00:22:39,065 --> 00:22:40,719 Sorry, sarge. 431 00:22:40,762 --> 00:22:43,548 Look, we're all gonna be sorry if we don't find this character. 432 00:22:43,591 --> 00:22:46,768 Because right now I have to send in a report to Sacramento 433 00:22:46,812 --> 00:22:49,597 saying that you were alone at the time of the incident. 434 00:22:49,641 --> 00:22:51,599 What kinda turkey rides around on a motorcycle 435 00:22:51,643 --> 00:22:54,297 thinking he's a cop, anyway? 436 00:22:54,341 --> 00:22:56,299 Well, the MO's usually the same. 437 00:22:56,343 --> 00:22:58,824 They think the uniform and the power that goes with it 438 00:22:58,867 --> 00:23:01,217 'is an answer to an uneventful life.' 439 00:23:01,261 --> 00:23:04,046 [Getraer] Guys who wanted to be cops who couldn't make the grade 440 00:23:04,090 --> 00:23:07,572 usually because of twisted minds rather than bodies. 441 00:23:07,615 --> 00:23:09,487 Oh, they're usually not out to hurt anybody 442 00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:11,445 just to play hero. 443 00:23:11,489 --> 00:23:14,143 In this case, to impress the ladies. 444 00:23:14,187 --> 00:23:16,798 Of course, the real danger is that in an emergency situation 445 00:23:16,842 --> 00:23:18,539 on the freeway when people look to him 446 00:23:18,583 --> 00:23:21,760 for help, he obviously can't deliver. 447 00:23:21,803 --> 00:23:23,544 Most of the time, the, uh, public 448 00:23:23,588 --> 00:23:26,547 can't tell the difference between us and them. 449 00:23:26,591 --> 00:23:29,768 And of course, that's the real problem for us. 450 00:23:29,811 --> 00:23:33,424 Now, this, uh, particular turkey is without conscience. 451 00:23:33,467 --> 00:23:36,862 He caused a very serious accident and left the scene. 452 00:23:36,905 --> 00:23:38,907 So we've gotta find him and fast. 453 00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,126 We can't do it in here. 454 00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:41,388 So let's, uh, get the brief 455 00:23:41,432 --> 00:23:43,085 and get out of here, hmm? 456 00:24:02,931 --> 00:24:05,368 Hey, I'll never leave you alone again, partner. 457 00:24:06,892 --> 00:24:07,849 Thanks. 458 00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:13,333 [Baker] 'Hey, that's Getraer.' 459 00:24:13,376 --> 00:24:14,377 [Ponch] 'Yeah, looks like he's hitting' 460 00:24:14,421 --> 00:24:16,249 'the bricks for once.' 461 00:24:43,798 --> 00:24:45,234 [car starting] 462 00:24:45,278 --> 00:24:47,193 [tires squealing] 463 00:24:56,594 --> 00:24:58,247 [sirens blaring] 464 00:25:01,990 --> 00:25:03,905 [instrumental music] 465 00:25:08,170 --> 00:25:10,085 [sirens blaring] 466 00:25:23,795 --> 00:25:24,839 [tires screeching] 467 00:25:29,104 --> 00:25:31,019 [music continues] 468 00:25:58,786 --> 00:26:00,701 [music continues] 469 00:26:06,185 --> 00:26:07,490 [bikes revving] 470 00:26:07,534 --> 00:26:09,449 [sirens blaring] 471 00:26:51,665 --> 00:26:54,146 [tires screeching] 472 00:26:54,189 --> 00:26:55,451 [female #3] Oh! 473 00:26:55,495 --> 00:26:56,583 [tires screeching] 474 00:26:58,716 --> 00:27:00,108 [splashing] 475 00:27:14,645 --> 00:27:15,820 [Ponch] Eeh! Ouch! 476 00:27:20,128 --> 00:27:21,695 [Ponch] Alright, mister, you're under arrest. 477 00:27:21,739 --> 00:27:23,741 [male #3] Shove it, pig, just shove it. 478 00:27:26,874 --> 00:27:28,876 Eeh...ouch! 479 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,019 [Ponch] 'Give it up!' 480 00:27:43,978 --> 00:27:46,851 [male #3] Mm, uh. 481 00:27:48,766 --> 00:27:50,332 You could've killed somebody, hot shot. 482 00:27:50,376 --> 00:27:51,986 - Highway's not a drag strip. - Back off, pig. 483 00:27:52,030 --> 00:27:54,032 - I'm in no mood for a sermon. - Oh, you're not, huh? 484 00:27:54,075 --> 00:27:55,076 [Getraer] 'Well, you're gonna get one anyway.' 485 00:27:57,078 --> 00:27:59,385 - Come here. - Come on, he's talking to you. 486 00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:00,429 Put your left hand on your head. 487 00:28:00,473 --> 00:28:02,301 Big deal. 488 00:28:02,344 --> 00:28:04,738 Look, you may not give 2 cents for your life 489 00:28:04,782 --> 00:28:06,174 but there's a heck of a lotta of other people 490 00:28:06,218 --> 00:28:07,741 out there who do care about theirs. 491 00:28:07,785 --> 00:28:09,874 Oh, that's real funny. 492 00:28:09,917 --> 00:28:11,745 Is that why you ran me off the road? 493 00:28:11,789 --> 00:28:14,226 'Cause you're worried about life? 494 00:28:14,269 --> 00:28:17,533 Look, that's a stolen car, and that's a felony. 495 00:28:17,577 --> 00:28:19,057 You call the shots, kid. 496 00:28:25,846 --> 00:28:27,239 Oh. 497 00:28:27,282 --> 00:28:28,936 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 498 00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:30,895 [birds chirping] 499 00:28:33,549 --> 00:28:36,727 Hey. What's the matter with you? 500 00:28:36,770 --> 00:28:38,380 Is it cops? 501 00:28:38,424 --> 00:28:41,470 Or do you just hate the world in general? 502 00:28:41,514 --> 00:28:43,472 What's it to you? 503 00:28:43,516 --> 00:28:44,952 You're gonna arrest me? 504 00:28:44,996 --> 00:28:46,127 Or we gonna stand around here 505 00:28:46,171 --> 00:28:48,347 and play Reform School all day? 506 00:28:48,390 --> 00:28:51,132 I think that's a little too late for that, old buddy, come on. 507 00:28:51,176 --> 00:28:53,091 [instrumental music] 508 00:28:56,659 --> 00:28:58,574 [instrumental music] 509 00:29:01,926 --> 00:29:03,841 [hammering] 510 00:29:11,892 --> 00:29:13,024 Hey, how you doing? 511 00:29:13,067 --> 00:29:15,504 Pretty good. How you doing? 512 00:29:15,548 --> 00:29:17,724 I mean, the motor home. You almost finished with it? 513 00:29:17,768 --> 00:29:19,117 Soon as I'm done. 514 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,032 [sighs] Let me start all over again. 515 00:29:21,075 --> 00:29:24,339 The motor home, this one, it's mine. 516 00:29:24,383 --> 00:29:25,863 When will you have it fixed? 517 00:29:27,342 --> 00:29:29,257 - This one? - Yeah. 518 00:29:29,301 --> 00:29:30,868 Ooh, we got a problem. 519 00:29:30,911 --> 00:29:33,392 I couldn't get a replacement generator for it. 520 00:29:33,435 --> 00:29:34,915 That thing's so old 521 00:29:34,959 --> 00:29:36,961 they don't make 'em anymore. 522 00:29:37,004 --> 00:29:38,049 I don't know what we're gonna do. 523 00:29:39,137 --> 00:29:41,530 Oh, you gotta be kidding. 524 00:29:41,574 --> 00:29:43,184 No. 525 00:29:43,228 --> 00:29:46,318 Hey, what am I gonna do? I need it. I live in it. 526 00:29:46,361 --> 00:29:49,712 In that? You gotta be kidding. 527 00:29:49,756 --> 00:29:51,410 It don't look like anybody could live in there. 528 00:29:51,453 --> 00:29:53,499 Hey, never mind the inside. 529 00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:55,501 You're supposed to be working on the generator. 530 00:29:55,544 --> 00:29:57,808 Well...I got a generator 531 00:29:57,851 --> 00:29:59,810 that's almost like the one that burnt out. 532 00:29:59,853 --> 00:30:01,594 But I'm gonna have to rewire that thing. 533 00:30:01,637 --> 00:30:02,856 It'll take me another day. 534 00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:03,857 Another day? 535 00:30:05,163 --> 00:30:06,773 You live in there too? 536 00:30:06,817 --> 00:30:09,341 Uh, no, I was just curious. Thanks. 537 00:30:09,384 --> 00:30:13,258 - Hey, I'll do the best I can. - Please do, okay? 538 00:30:13,301 --> 00:30:15,956 I miss my home sweet home. 539 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,915 Yeah, and I miss mine too. 540 00:30:22,310 --> 00:30:24,225 [instrumental music] 541 00:30:40,807 --> 00:30:42,722 [air blowing] 542 00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:47,335 [music continues] 543 00:30:49,860 --> 00:30:51,339 [door opens] 544 00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:54,212 Oh, hi, Jon. I was just using your hair dryer. 545 00:30:54,255 --> 00:30:56,301 I blew the fuse in my apartment. Is it okay? 546 00:30:56,344 --> 00:30:57,476 - Oh, sure. - Great. Thanks. 547 00:30:57,519 --> 00:30:58,520 You bet. 548 00:30:58,564 --> 00:30:59,652 -Hi. -Hi. 549 00:30:59,695 --> 00:31:01,001 - Bye. - Bye. 550 00:31:02,176 --> 00:31:03,917 [Ponch sighs] 551 00:31:03,961 --> 00:31:05,919 How come you didn't ask her to stay? 552 00:31:05,963 --> 00:31:08,487 [sighs] 553 00:31:08,530 --> 00:31:10,097 'Cause she was finished drying her hair. 554 00:31:12,143 --> 00:31:14,145 Well, you should've asked her to stay for some coffee. 555 00:31:14,188 --> 00:31:16,843 I would've offered her a Ding Dong or something. 556 00:31:22,588 --> 00:31:23,894 What's the matter? 557 00:31:26,331 --> 00:31:28,028 I don't know, just this double-character thing's 558 00:31:28,072 --> 00:31:29,247 starting to get me down. 559 00:31:31,292 --> 00:31:32,685 Hey, easy, huh? 560 00:31:32,728 --> 00:31:34,339 You know the whole squad is behind you. 561 00:31:36,123 --> 00:31:37,908 Yeah. I know. 562 00:31:44,610 --> 00:31:46,481 [Ponch sighs] 563 00:31:46,525 --> 00:31:47,961 I mean, we're gonna get this dude. 564 00:31:50,442 --> 00:31:53,053 Hey, that's a promise from old Ponch to his best buddy. 565 00:31:56,883 --> 00:31:59,016 Yeah. Thanks, Ponch. 566 00:32:00,147 --> 00:32:01,496 I just hope it happens soon. 567 00:32:04,151 --> 00:32:06,980 Hey, it will be, partner. It will be. 568 00:32:08,025 --> 00:32:09,940 [instrumental music] 569 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,395 [music continues] 570 00:32:47,368 --> 00:32:48,413 Hello, officer. 571 00:32:48,456 --> 00:32:49,457 May I see your driver's license 572 00:32:49,501 --> 00:32:50,719 and registration, please? 573 00:32:50,763 --> 00:32:52,025 What did I do? 574 00:32:52,069 --> 00:32:54,201 You were doing 40 in a 35-mile zone. 575 00:32:54,245 --> 00:32:56,812 That's ridiculous. I wasn't going over 30. 576 00:32:56,856 --> 00:32:58,118 Are you gonna gimme your driver's license 577 00:32:58,162 --> 00:32:59,772 or am I got to run you in? 578 00:33:01,078 --> 00:33:02,253 Alright. 579 00:33:03,210 --> 00:33:04,255 [sighs] 580 00:33:07,649 --> 00:33:09,129 Hmm. 581 00:33:09,173 --> 00:33:13,612 "Jobina Dennings, 166 Ivy Lane." 582 00:33:13,655 --> 00:33:15,179 Ivy Lane, that's the swinging singles place 583 00:33:15,222 --> 00:33:16,789 over by Eagle Street, isn't it? 584 00:33:16,832 --> 00:33:18,225 Look, if you're gonna write me a ticket 585 00:33:18,269 --> 00:33:20,401 then do it and get it over with. 586 00:33:20,445 --> 00:33:22,142 Hey, look here, babe. 587 00:33:22,186 --> 00:33:23,622 'What do you say you just drive on home' 588 00:33:23,665 --> 00:33:25,580 'say and I'll tag along behind you?' 589 00:33:25,624 --> 00:33:29,019 And then I'll stop up for a little nightcap. And, uh-- 590 00:33:29,062 --> 00:33:30,759 How dare you? 591 00:33:30,803 --> 00:33:32,848 Look, I want you to know.. 592 00:33:32,892 --> 00:33:34,981 ...Officer Block, I'm gonna report you. 593 00:33:35,025 --> 00:33:36,417 Oh, no, you don't. 594 00:33:36,461 --> 00:33:38,028 What are you doing? Give me back my keys. 595 00:33:39,986 --> 00:33:41,901 Let me have those. 596 00:33:41,944 --> 00:33:43,685 What are you doing? 597 00:33:43,729 --> 00:33:46,166 I know what goes on in those swinging single places. 598 00:33:46,210 --> 00:33:48,168 But a cop who risks his life every day in the line of duty 599 00:33:48,212 --> 00:33:50,431 isn't good enough for you, is he, huh? 600 00:33:50,475 --> 00:33:54,000 Let me go. You're scaring. Let me go. No! 601 00:33:54,044 --> 00:33:56,307 Are you crazy? Let me go. What do you think you're doing? 602 00:33:57,699 --> 00:33:59,049 [Jobina] Oh, what you-- 603 00:33:59,092 --> 00:34:01,225 [Ponch] 'Not a bad movie, huh, partner?' 604 00:34:01,268 --> 00:34:04,576 [Baker] 'Yeah, Ponch, thanks. It was a good idea.' 605 00:34:04,619 --> 00:34:06,708 [Ponch] 'Hey, looks like one of our guys is in trouble.' 606 00:34:06,752 --> 00:34:09,363 Give me those keys back or...doing? 607 00:34:09,407 --> 00:34:11,104 [Jobina] 'Let...what.' 608 00:34:11,148 --> 00:34:13,063 [Jobina grunting] 609 00:34:17,284 --> 00:34:18,546 Hold it. We're CHPs. 610 00:34:18,590 --> 00:34:19,634 [Block] She was resisting arrest. 611 00:34:19,678 --> 00:34:20,940 He's a liar. 612 00:34:20,983 --> 00:34:23,073 - Let me go. - Ma'am. I heard you. 613 00:34:23,116 --> 00:34:24,248 - 'Let me go.' - Hey, hey. 614 00:34:24,291 --> 00:34:26,293 I'm gonna report both of you! 615 00:34:26,337 --> 00:34:29,035 - You're in it together. - Ma'am. Ma'am. 616 00:34:29,079 --> 00:34:30,123 Let me go. 617 00:34:30,167 --> 00:34:31,994 We don't wanna hurt you, alright? 618 00:34:32,038 --> 00:34:33,561 - 'Ma'am, easy, easy.' - 'See, what am I do to two?' 619 00:34:33,605 --> 00:34:35,563 [Jobina] 'Don't...let me go .' 620 00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:37,304 [Baker] 'Could you relax a minute, we don't want--' 621 00:34:37,348 --> 00:34:38,349 [male #4] 'Alright, hold it.' 622 00:34:38,392 --> 00:34:39,437 'Freeze it right there.' 623 00:34:41,134 --> 00:34:42,744 Lady, step away from them. 624 00:34:47,140 --> 00:34:48,924 Okay, now, what's going on? 625 00:34:48,968 --> 00:34:51,710 Their friend stopped me and then made dirty insinuations 626 00:34:51,753 --> 00:34:53,451 and attacked me and then these two 627 00:34:53,494 --> 00:34:55,017 came along and and helped him. 628 00:34:55,061 --> 00:34:56,976 Hey, listen, we're CHPs, okay? 629 00:34:57,019 --> 00:34:59,196 Uh, we're gonna reach for our IDs. 630 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:00,371 Well, you do it very slowly. 631 00:35:02,242 --> 00:35:04,157 [Baker sighs] 632 00:35:07,204 --> 00:35:08,509 [Ponch sighs] 633 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:14,124 We were assisting another officer and, um.. 634 00:35:16,082 --> 00:35:17,388 Where did he go? 635 00:35:21,783 --> 00:35:24,395 [Baker] 'Hey, he split.' 636 00:35:24,438 --> 00:35:26,179 He's a phony officer, I mean, haven't you heard about him? 637 00:35:26,223 --> 00:35:29,008 - The phony CHP officer? - Yeah, the phony. 638 00:35:29,051 --> 00:35:30,792 We had a Teletype in briefing on him. Yeah. 639 00:35:32,446 --> 00:35:36,102 You mean.. He wasn't a real cop? 640 00:35:36,146 --> 00:35:37,364 Well, listen, we're gonna have to-- 641 00:35:37,408 --> 00:35:41,194 Please, I-I-I just wanna go home. 642 00:35:41,238 --> 00:35:44,676 I don't, I-I can't take any more of this. 643 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,025 Listen, ma'am, we don't blame you 644 00:35:46,068 --> 00:35:47,331 after what that jerk put you through 645 00:35:47,374 --> 00:35:49,333 and, uh, us coming along and making it worse. 646 00:35:49,376 --> 00:35:51,422 Yeah, really, just relax and everything will be fine. 647 00:35:51,465 --> 00:35:53,337 - Hey, could-- - You look like him. 648 00:35:53,380 --> 00:35:54,816 [instrumental music] 649 00:35:54,860 --> 00:35:57,123 What? 650 00:35:57,167 --> 00:35:59,081 [voice trembling] You look like him. 651 00:36:01,693 --> 00:36:03,303 Yeah, I know. 652 00:36:03,347 --> 00:36:05,740 I gotta write a report on this. 653 00:36:05,784 --> 00:36:08,178 Hey, uh, my partner's, uh, really good with reports. 654 00:36:08,221 --> 00:36:10,789 He'll give you a hand, right, partner? 655 00:36:10,832 --> 00:36:12,312 Yeah, thanks, Ponch. 656 00:36:14,662 --> 00:36:16,838 Listen, we're really sorry. 657 00:36:16,882 --> 00:36:18,013 Really, now. 658 00:36:19,276 --> 00:36:22,409 I think I'm too shaky to drive home. 659 00:36:22,453 --> 00:36:24,194 We'll be glad to drive you home. 660 00:36:25,630 --> 00:36:27,153 Hey. 661 00:36:27,197 --> 00:36:29,242 I mean that as innocent as it sounds. 662 00:36:29,286 --> 00:36:31,201 [instrumental music] 663 00:36:32,114 --> 00:36:33,551 Please. 664 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,292 Thanks. 665 00:36:35,335 --> 00:36:36,467 Alright. Come. 666 00:36:37,511 --> 00:36:39,426 [music continues] 667 00:36:51,917 --> 00:36:53,832 [instrumental music] 668 00:36:59,794 --> 00:37:01,318 Why me? 669 00:37:23,862 --> 00:37:25,429 [music stops] 670 00:37:25,472 --> 00:37:27,735 What's the matter? Power go off? 671 00:37:29,215 --> 00:37:31,609 Hey, you are off, alright? 672 00:37:31,652 --> 00:37:33,306 I mean, you're not only a danger to yourself 673 00:37:33,350 --> 00:37:35,439 you're a danger to my peace of mind. 674 00:37:35,482 --> 00:37:37,571 Aw, 'cause of a little music? 675 00:37:37,615 --> 00:37:40,270 Aw, come on, Jon, it's too quiet around here. 676 00:37:40,313 --> 00:37:42,620 No sounds, no beat. 677 00:37:42,663 --> 00:37:44,578 Listen, put a seashell up your ear 678 00:37:44,622 --> 00:37:46,363 and listen to the beat of the seashore, okay? 679 00:37:46,406 --> 00:37:48,669 I mean, I don't wanna share it with you. 680 00:37:50,845 --> 00:37:52,325 [sighs] 681 00:37:52,369 --> 00:37:54,414 Uh, I don't know, m-maybe, uh.. 682 00:37:54,458 --> 00:37:57,374 ...maybe nothing's wrong with you, all this stuff.. 683 00:37:57,417 --> 00:37:58,679 [sighs] 684 00:37:58,723 --> 00:38:01,029 I don't maybe I'm crazy. I don't know. 685 00:38:07,732 --> 00:38:10,691 Just wonder how much a new motor home for you is gonna cost. 686 00:38:16,393 --> 00:38:17,872 [sighs] 687 00:38:20,484 --> 00:38:21,572 [female #4] 'Who is it?' 688 00:38:21,615 --> 00:38:23,443 Uh, it's-it's Jon. 689 00:38:25,750 --> 00:38:27,665 Oh, Jon, hi. 690 00:38:27,708 --> 00:38:29,362 Hi. Alright, listen. 691 00:38:29,406 --> 00:38:32,539 Uh, I'm sorry, can I borrow your couch for the night? 692 00:38:33,888 --> 00:38:35,150 Sure, come on in. 693 00:38:46,858 --> 00:38:48,425 What is with you, you turkey? 694 00:38:48,468 --> 00:38:49,948 Just 'cause you drive a monster like this 695 00:38:49,991 --> 00:38:51,036 doesn't give you right of way. 696 00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:52,516 Well, maybe the signal broke 697 00:38:52,559 --> 00:38:55,257 but I am big enough for you to see, stupid! 698 00:38:55,301 --> 00:38:56,607 Oh, yeah, well, I got better things 699 00:38:56,650 --> 00:38:58,478 to look for than dummies like you. 700 00:38:58,522 --> 00:39:00,175 Oh-oh, yeah, if-if you wanna test your bumper 701 00:39:00,219 --> 00:39:02,917 why don't you just drive into a brick wall, alright? 702 00:39:02,961 --> 00:39:04,876 Well, at least, a brick wall's got more brains than you. 703 00:39:04,919 --> 00:39:06,878 Oh! Brains, brains! 704 00:39:06,921 --> 00:39:09,707 You do not know the meaning of the word "brains"! 705 00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:11,970 Oh, yeah, don't you realize you are blocking 706 00:39:12,013 --> 00:39:13,580 half a city street with this big train? 707 00:39:13,624 --> 00:39:16,191 It was right there, if you'd watch where you were going! 708 00:39:16,235 --> 00:39:17,802 - Oh, watch where I was going? - Goddamn little car! 709 00:39:17,845 --> 00:39:19,412 You talk about brains, fellow. 710 00:39:19,456 --> 00:39:22,415 Well, it's a big locomotive, how can you hit it? 711 00:39:22,459 --> 00:39:24,896 - You can't even see, can you? - Oh, I can. 712 00:39:24,939 --> 00:39:26,854 [sirens blaring] 713 00:39:31,337 --> 00:39:33,687 [male #5] 'I'm going to teach you a lesson.' 714 00:39:33,731 --> 00:39:34,949 LA 15.. 715 00:39:34,993 --> 00:39:36,690 I am gonna teach you a lesson 716 00:39:36,734 --> 00:39:38,083 because I can take it-- 717 00:39:38,126 --> 00:39:40,128 Hey, hey, hey! Calm down, alright? 718 00:39:40,172 --> 00:39:41,913 [Ponch] ...involving a locomotive and a sports car.. 719 00:39:41,956 --> 00:39:43,349 Listen, it doesn't look like anybody's injured. 720 00:39:43,393 --> 00:39:44,611 No use getting injured by fighting, huh? 721 00:39:44,655 --> 00:39:45,699 Alright. 722 00:39:45,743 --> 00:39:48,267 Need an 11-84 for assistance. 723 00:39:57,102 --> 00:39:59,017 [dramatic music] 724 00:40:26,087 --> 00:40:29,439 [male #6] Oh, do me a favor, will you? Put out an APB on his brain. 725 00:40:29,482 --> 00:40:31,658 [Baker] How about doing me a favor, okay? You guys finished? 726 00:40:33,225 --> 00:40:35,967 Get a load of the size of that thing. 727 00:40:36,010 --> 00:40:37,795 Must be a heck of a thing to drive, huh? 728 00:40:39,666 --> 00:40:42,495 Yeah, we gotta get this traffic cleared up. So can you move it? 729 00:40:44,236 --> 00:40:46,673 - Nope. - What do you mean? 730 00:40:46,717 --> 00:40:49,676 I'm not moving until all the paperwork's filled out. 731 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,678 Hey, want it moved? 732 00:40:54,812 --> 00:40:56,466 Move it yourself. 733 00:41:02,472 --> 00:41:04,386 I'll make a deal with you. 734 00:41:04,430 --> 00:41:05,910 [mouths] Shh. 735 00:41:05,953 --> 00:41:08,129 We'll both move the engine. Deal? 736 00:41:10,915 --> 00:41:12,699 Well, maybe. 737 00:41:28,149 --> 00:41:30,500 Hey, cutie. Hey, what's happening? 738 00:41:38,769 --> 00:41:39,944 [grunts] 739 00:41:42,424 --> 00:41:43,948 How many horsepower has she got? 740 00:41:43,991 --> 00:41:46,733 - Uh, thirty-six hundred. - Thirty-six hundred? 741 00:41:46,777 --> 00:41:48,996 - Yep. - Wow! 742 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,696 Uh...you, uh, wanna try? 743 00:41:52,739 --> 00:41:54,915 Oh, um, uh, no, I mean, uh! 744 00:41:54,959 --> 00:41:57,527 I don't know how. I mean, I couldn't. 745 00:41:57,570 --> 00:41:59,920 Well, it's your last chance. 746 00:41:59,964 --> 00:42:03,620 Well, no, I mean, like, I'm in uniform and everything. 747 00:42:03,663 --> 00:42:05,926 And I couldn't, uh.. 748 00:42:05,970 --> 00:42:07,885 [instrumental music] 749 00:42:20,071 --> 00:42:21,028 Hey, Jon. 750 00:42:25,163 --> 00:42:27,078 [music continues] 751 00:42:29,254 --> 00:42:30,560 [sirens blaring] 752 00:42:39,873 --> 00:42:41,788 [music continues] 753 00:42:46,140 --> 00:42:47,402 He's mine, babe. 754 00:42:47,446 --> 00:42:49,143 Not till I'm finished with him. 755 00:42:56,194 --> 00:42:58,109 [music continues] 756 00:43:12,210 --> 00:43:14,125 [sirens blaring] 757 00:43:59,126 --> 00:44:00,084 [tires screech] 758 00:44:03,043 --> 00:44:04,131 [groans] 759 00:44:06,046 --> 00:44:07,961 [dramatic music] 760 00:44:30,027 --> 00:44:31,942 He's even better-looking than you are. 761 00:44:33,117 --> 00:44:34,901 Wait a minute. 762 00:44:34,945 --> 00:44:37,251 Are you guys really cops? 763 00:44:37,295 --> 00:44:38,992 Yeah. 764 00:44:39,036 --> 00:44:40,690 We're really cops. 765 00:44:42,692 --> 00:44:44,694 Except it comes from the inside 766 00:44:45,999 --> 00:44:47,566 not from what you're wearing. 767 00:44:51,222 --> 00:44:53,137 [instrumental music] 768 00:44:57,097 --> 00:44:59,012 [speaking in foreign language] 769 00:45:00,274 --> 00:45:02,189 [singing in foreign language] 770 00:45:14,811 --> 00:45:17,117 - 'Hey, yeah?' - How you doing? 771 00:45:17,161 --> 00:45:19,467 Okay, how you doing? 772 00:45:19,511 --> 00:45:21,034 Now, wait a minute, wait a minute 773 00:45:21,078 --> 00:45:22,949 let's not go through that number again. 774 00:45:22,993 --> 00:45:26,126 I'm the cop who owns the problem you're working on. 775 00:45:26,170 --> 00:45:28,215 Oh, this one? Yeah, it's okay, I guess. 776 00:45:30,609 --> 00:45:32,567 Well, is that just a guess? 777 00:45:32,611 --> 00:45:35,266 [male #7] 'Well, you see, I got the generator hooked up' 778 00:45:35,309 --> 00:45:38,704 'but I can't get the dumb thing to work.' 779 00:45:38,748 --> 00:45:40,140 Hey, wait a minute. 780 00:45:40,184 --> 00:45:43,361 You said you'd have that thing fixed today. 781 00:45:43,404 --> 00:45:46,103 Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I'm gonna need more time. 782 00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:52,805 - Here, Ponch. - What are you doing? 783 00:45:52,849 --> 00:45:54,807 You can have my apartment, my stereo 784 00:45:54,851 --> 00:45:56,200 my car, everything, alright? 785 00:45:56,243 --> 00:45:57,505 - What? - Yeah. 786 00:45:57,549 --> 00:45:59,812 You can have Cerie, Roni, Sandy 787 00:45:59,856 --> 00:46:02,815 Charlene, Alice, all of 'em. 788 00:46:02,859 --> 00:46:06,688 - Well, what are you gonna do? - I'm gonna stay right here. 789 00:46:08,821 --> 00:46:10,736 [theme music]