Stop worrying, Jon.
Trust the old Poncherello almanac.
I just felt a raindrop.
It's a typical California morning.
Seen it a thousand times.
Yeah, but we can end up in a patrol car all day long.
If it rains. It's not raining.
Then why is water dropping?
Just a little sprinkle.
By the time we get to Central, it'll stop.
[thunder crashing]
[chatter]
[slow jazz music]
I don't like it, Dawson.
They're hanging right on our tails.
Coincidence. They don't know a thing.
Just think of all the money you're making
and stop being so nervous.
I get nervous every time we work this town.
These freeways are lousy with cops.
Mr. Sanders is complaining again.
Oh, no.
I'll be right back.
[sighs]
[chatter]
Are you taking care of everybody, dear?
Good. That's what I want, all winners here.
- Call them out. - Everybody wins.
Everybody wins in this house.
- Are you ready? - Everybody wins.
What's the trouble, Mr. Sanders?
A bologna sandwich for breakfast?
I'm accustomed to good hot food in the morning.
Well, what would you like?
We'll have it waiting at the next stop.
Bacon, eggs, hash browns and ketchup.
- And hot! - You've got it.
Sweetheart, take care of Mr. Sanders.
Okay, deal 'em. Let's go.
Down and dirty.
[grunts]
Hey, your wheel.
Pull over to the side.
There's something wrong with your wheel.
You wanna take a look at it?
This is a new car.
Well, what is it? I mean, what's wrong?
I don't know. It, uh, was wobbling
like it was gonna come off, you know.
- It was shaking. - Oh, really?
This is a new car. I don't, I don't understand.
There was something wrong with it.
Smoking and things were happening to it.
- I don't know what's wrong. - I don't know.
It's a, it's a brand new car. It shouldn't happen--
Hey.
Oh, he's a hitchhiker I just picked up.
Why don't you run back and see if you can get a cop
on the phone and I'll, and I'll try to catch him, okay?
Okay, well..
Wait a minute. Do you know where a phone is?
[dramatic music]
Hoo-hoo! Alright.
[chuckles]
[theme music]
Just a little sprinkle, it'll stop, right, Ponch?
Right. It isn't sprinkling anymore.
Now, it's raining.
[tires screeching]
[horn honks]
[dramatic music]
LA 15, 7 Mary 3.
Roll a fire unit
11-41 northbound Hollywood freeway south of Gower.
'10-4.'
Miss.
Miss!
Try to reverse the back.
'Miss!'
- What? - Right here.
'Miss.'
Go to the rear.
Ponch, this car is gonna blow any minute. Come on.
Go to the rear of the bus!
The window. Smash the window.
- What? - Break it.
[glass breaking]
[grunts]
Get back. Stand back over there. This thing's gonna blow up.
- Are you hurt? - No, no. Get me out of here.
[intense music]
- Oh. - Hey, Po..
Ponch, the fire's out.
[sighs]
[chuckles]
I'm..
I'm Juliet Smith.
You know, up until now, I've always been afraid of these.
Motorcycles or cops?
Both, I guess.
- Sure you're okay? - I'm fine. Really.
The steering wheel just knocked the wind out of me.
I couldn't catch my breath.
But I'm just thankful my kids weren't aboard.
Now, I'm just going to school, but later this afternoon
I'm taking the class on a field trip
if I can get another bus.
Would you like transportation, Ms. Smith?
Oh, no, no. It's okay. I'll ride with the tow truck.
I think he has to go right past the school.
Okay, I think he's ready to leave.
Well...okay.
I don't know how to thank you, guys.
I love you both.
That won't do, ma'am.
It's either him or me.
Actually, it's against regulation for us
to fall in love on duty.
He's right, you know.
But I think I'm about to break that rule.
And how would you like to take the kids
on a field trip to Central some time?
I'd enjoy showing them how a highway patrol station works.
I think that'd be great. I think they'd love it.
I'll do it.
I promise.
Bye.
Alright, Hunter, uh..
I want you with Appleton today.
Now that's what I call a soggy-looking pair.
Don't you guys know, nobody loves a soggy chippy?
Don't laugh, man.
It's raining cats and dogs out there.
Oh, I got it, uh..
You bikers wear the boots
so you can wade through the poodles.
Oh, funny.
Who writes your material? Getraer?
Why aren't you wearing your slickers?
Because we're soaked through to the skin.
Should've put 'em on before.
Grossie, it wasn't raining before.
We didn't need them then.
It's true, Grossie. It doesn't make sense, but it's true.
'Grossman.'
Uh, you're in car 26 today, alright?
Okay, but I won't feel any safer
in a car than I would on my bike.
[chuckles]
Oh, uh... and you two.
[chuckles]
Uh, I hear you guys
took a bath with your uniforms on?
[laughter]
Oh, hilarious.
He ought to tour with Bob Hope.
The ski nose and the hard nose.
Poncherello!
Uh, you can try your humor out in car 18 today.
That's your assignment.
Oh, come on, sarge, you can't put us in a car?
Oh, yes I am.
I'm a hard nose, remember?
[chuckles]
Hey, that was a joke.
Uh...can we make a deal? Hmm?
Oh, sure we can make a deal.
Look, uh..
Go and change your uniforms
uh, then come to briefing..
...and then go out in car 18.
You call that a deal?
What do you call it, Frank?
A deal.
That's thinking.
[Getraer] 'Now, we're getting a lot of pressure'
on this, uh, motorcycle, uh, car-heist operation.
Unfortunately, we still don't have
a good description of the thieves.
'Now, the victim never pays any attention'
'to the passenger until it's too late.'
And, uh, he thinks the driver is on his side
so he never gets the number of the bike.
Someplace they have an accomplice
who's either disguising the cars
or sending them out of the state.
I want these guys.
I want their scalps.
Uh, the weather report is for, uh, heavy showers on and off
throughout the basin all day.
I guess I don't have to warn you
about high speed pursuits out there.
Uh, that's it for now.
Poncherello. Baker.
Car 18 is brand-new. It was delivered last night.
There's not a blemish in it or on it.
Understood?
Okay, uh, understood.
Alright.
Man, we put one scratch on this car
and Getraer will suspend us for life.
We're lucky he gave us a new car.
'Yeah. Electronic spaghetti.'
Nothing unusual.
Yeah, I know. I read the manual.
'Normal setup. Blue emergency frequency.'
'Black is for us. Outside speaker.'
'And this is..'
You read the manual?
Yeah. That's the trunk button.
Does the manual say who gets out in the rain and shuts it?
[laughing]
[music over radio]
Trouble. Mr. Sanders.
Uh.
Okay. Let's go.
[chatter]
The money I drop in this game.
He won't let me go light a pot or two?
Hey, look, I'm just as cold as you are.
What seems to be the trouble now?
I think you're running a mitt joint, Dawson.
How do you like that for trouble?
Anybody else complain?
It's me he's dealing seconds to. Me, me.
Hey, we don't want unhappy people here.
Yeah, well, I'm unhappy, buddy.
Alright, sir, please come with me, and I promise you
this will all be straightened out between us.
Come on.
Everybody, have a good time.
Cosmo, make a couple of winners there.
Now, Mr. Sanders..
If the percentages weren't with us, we'd go out of business.
I'm out 100 percent, five grand.
And I'm not some cluck off a truck.
One way I could get stripped, a crooked game.
We work this town too often. It's worth big money to us.
We couldn't keep coming back if the operation was gaffed.
Pull over.
- Will you step outside, please? - Now, wait a minute.
Hey! Mr. Dawson asked you to step outside.
I'm refunding the hundred you paid to come aboard.
And you think you're gonna dump me out here?
You can hitch a ride.
[intense music]
Hey, look. Blue skies.
What do you say we go back and, uh, get the bikes
and get out of this traveling booby trap? Huh?
[chuckles]
You heard the weather forecast, more showers.
Besides, Getraer's really hacked at you.
Yeah, that's right.
Well..
...what's wrong with two tons of Detroit iron, huh?
At least if we damage it, I'm not driving.
[chuckles]
Hey, take a look.
Hold it. Hold it. Hey, hey. Hold it. Don't fight.
Take it easy, come on.
I'll call an ambulance and get a blanket.
Sit down here.
Just take it easy. Everything's gonna be alright.
Okay?
Room C?
Hope you checked if I got pneumonia.
Any pain?
No. Just a king-size headache.
We're gonna keep you overnight for observation, Mr. Sanders.
Stay here until we find you a room.
Uh...mild concussion, abrasion on the left temple.
Lump on the back of his head
the of a pigeon's egg, but he'll do.
Well, I-I guess that's it, fellas.
Thanks again.
Before we go, Mr. Sanders
you wanna tell us again what happened out there?
I told you.
I was trying to hitch a ride
I slipped and I fell.
Next thing I remember, you guys were picking me up.
You a married man?
Yes, why?
You want us to give your wife a call?
No, I-I don't want to get her all upset.
Okay, Mr. Sanders.
I don't know, well-dressed middle-age man
with a $100 bill on him
hitchhiking on the freeway?
I don't buy it. Do you?
No, I don't buy it. I won't even take it as a gift.
Hello, Mrs. Sanders. Officer Baker.
Officer Poncherello, ma'am.
Are you the wife of Samuel Sanders?
Is he alive?
He's alive, ma'am. He's gonna be okay.
Come in.
- Where is he? - In the hospital, ma'am.
They're keeping him overnight, but it's nothing serious.
At first, we thought he had been mugged.
But they found his wallet on him
and, um, some money.
- How much money? - Oh, a hundred-dollar bill.
Here's the name of the doctor and the hospital
and the phone number. We tried to get ahold of you--
We have no phone. We can't pay the bill.
Did he tell you what had happened?
Uh, no, not really, ma'am.
He said he fell.
Well, he probably got beaten up by somebody
he was gambling with.
That happens when he loses.
Sam loses.
When I think of how many years
how many dreams and dollars
'and jobs and houses are just gone.'
Well... they're just gone.
It's not new to you, is it? I guess you've seen it all.
No, Mrs. Sanders.
Those are human problems, you never see them all.
Listen, has your husband tried to get some help?
Help?
Sam?
Oh, he has no problem. He doesn't need any help.
I mean, Gamblers Anonymous, that's for people who are sick.
And other people are sick, but Sam's not..
I'm sorry, I know this is uncomfortable for you.
But I'm okay.
I'm not gonna come unglued.
[sighs]
You know, I could write a book about compulsive gamblers, but..
...even if I made a fortune, he'd probably go out
and blow it all.
Well, Mrs. Sanders, if your husband was assaulted
something can be done about it.
Give us a call, okay?
Poncherello and Officer Baker.
Central Division.
Thank you.
That was very good of you to come here.
[Ethyl] 'I know, I'm not alone. He is.'
But I still love him, and I can't stop it.
[crying] I can't reach him anymore.
[whispering] Come on.
You have a way to the hospital?
Yeah, there's a..
...a bus stop just down the street.
I'm sorry, I didn't even offer you anything
in this lousy weather.
I can fix you a cup of tea.
Oh, no, that's okay. Thank you anyway.
We better be on our way.
[sobbing]
Car's getting kinda dirty.
Yeah, it's gonna get kind of wet again too.
Man, I wish it would stop. I'm smothering in this thing.
Did I see that?
Or dream it?
Driver in the gray BMW
'pull over and stop, please.'
Tell him to pull up underneath the underpass.
'Driver of the gray BMW'
'stop beneath the underpass, please.'
Pull up a little more, sir.
I'm sorry, officer, my windshield wipers broke.
May I see your driver's license, and registration, please?
Oh, certainly.
Here we are.
Registration is in the car.
- You wanna get it, please? - Oh, sure, yeah.
Here we are.
Step over here, sir.
Is that a gun underneath the seat?
Yeah. It's mine.
How about that? That a shotgun?
No, it's a riot gun.
For what?
For riots.
[chuckles]
[chuckling] Oh, that's my son's.
He-he jammed the cylinder
practicing his quick draw.
I was taking it to the gunsmith
you know, to have it fixed.
Oh, officer, that has no business being here.
'My wife carries it to her dinner parties.'
'I guess she forgot it. She's always doing that.'
That's your dinner party gun?
No, that's-that's my wife's dinner party gun.
Got any others?
Oh, sure, in the trunk.
Wanna step back here, please?
Hey, uh..
...listen, I'm a solid citizen.
'I-I'm with you guys.'
'I mean, officers.'
Why do you need a gun in the trunk?
Simple.
The day I come home late one night..
...get mugged, beaten, thrown in the trunk?
No, listen. It happened to a friend of mine.
Now, me, I'm ready.
You got permits for any of these?
Well, I had 'em registered when I bought 'em.
Registration is a condition of purchase.
You need a permit to transport concealed weapons.
Hey, just hold it. I'm entitled to protect myself.
With five loaded guns?
Six. Five handguns and a shotgun.
Where's the other gun?
At home in the shower.
You have a shower gun?
Yeah.
What could happen to you in the shower?
What could..
Didn't you guys see the movie "Psycho?"
Huh?
You can't believe it.
Never saw a guy so mad in my life.
Figure it out. We impounded a $1000 worth of his weapons.
Yeah, all his pretty toys.
Except the shower gun.
[both laugh]
[instrumental music]
[tires screeching]
[honks]
- Are you hurt? - No, my car!
Listen. You stay here.
Another patrol car will be here in a hurry, okay?
You stay right there.
LA 15, 7 Mary 3.
In pursuit of a motorcycle, southbound Hollywood Freeway
from four level.
Please, remember, this is a brand-new car.
[siren wailing]
[tires screeching]
Oh, no. The gate.
- Did we hit it? - I'll tell you later.
[siren wailing]
LA 15, 7 Mary 3, is eastbound in the LA river bed from the Berdu.
Requesting backup.
Watch out for the center channel.
[tires screeching]
Watch it.
[tires screeching]
We're in a car chasing him?
Oh man, what I'd give for my bike.
[siren wailing]
[tires screeching]
[siren stop]
[laughs]
Uh, Baker, Poncherello.
Good work on that car thief.
He's rolling over on the whole operation.
Alright, sarge.
You want scalps, we'll bring you scalps.
[chuckles] Okay, and we also learned some things
about that gambler you brought in this morning.
There'll be a special briefing on it in five minutes.
- Alright. - Uh, Poncherello.
- Not so fast. - Any problem?
Uh, rainy days, we always have problems around here, don't we?
In fact, what would you say are our busiest days around here?
Oh, rainy days.
What kind of days would you say
would be the worst kind of days
to invite visitors to here visiting?
Rainy days?
Then why did you pick today of all days
to invite the public schools through here on a tour?
[children chattering]
No, no, no, don't climb on the counter.
[Juliet] 'Boys.. James, off the counter.'
'Ple.. Off the counter.'
[chuckles] Community relations.
Do you know who's gonna answer all their questions?
Show them through the whole station
every inch of it?
You.
Then I won't have to go back out, right?
Oh, no, no, then you willhave to go back out.
Officer Poncherello.
Uh, this is Juliet Smith, their teacher.
I know.
Uh, the officer here will be your guide.
Have a nice tour.
Hi. How are you feeling? Any bruises?
Oh, nothing serious, really.
Listen, our tour to the zoo was rained out
and they were so disappointed.
I know this is kind of taking advantage.
I mean, you didn't say come today.
Oh, hey. That's okay.
You know, I, uh, was hoping I'd see you again.
Children, say good afternoon to Officer Poncherello.
[all] Hi.
- Hi. How are you? - Hi.
Okay, kids. Listen up.
Uh, everybody calls me Ponch.
You got that?
[all] Yeah.
So, if you're gonna say good afternoon to me
say it like you mean it.
Now let's hear it, all together.
[all] Good afternoon, Ponch.
Louder.
[children] 'Good afternoon, Ponch!'
[all laughing]
Alright.
As I was saying, I have here
a Sheriff's Department advisory.
An outfit called the, uh, "Creeper Gang" may be back.
A man was found on the freeways this morning
under circumstances, uh, that seem to confirm this
though he refuses to talk.
Otherwise, all the sheriff has now is street talk.
High rollers not showing up to the usual haunts
that sort of thing.
Maybe a floating game that meets at private homes
or maybe at a club on one of the canyon roads.
Now, watch for any, uh, group of expensive vehicles
in some unlikely spot.
Or a vehicle of that description
that's parked too long in one spot.
'You see anything suspicious'
'notify the Sheriff's Department.'
Now?
Uh..
[clears throat]
Alright.
Alright, kids, come on.
[children chattering]
Here we go.
This way.
Okay, this is our briefing room.
And this here is our sergeant. His name is Getraer.
Say hello to the sergeant.
[all] Hello, sergeant.
Hello, children.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, I.. Get back here.
I told you guys to stay together now.
'Come on, you stay with me.'
Now, in the briefing room
is where all the officers meet
and the sergeant tells us who the bad guys are.
And we write the bad guys' names down
in our notebooks.
So, kids, listen up
don't get your names in the notebooks now.
When you grow up, drive carefully.
And you be good guys, okay?
[all] Okay.
Now, all those who are gonna be good guys
say I promise.
[all] 'I promise.'
Alright. Great.
Now say goodbye to the officers
and let's go.
[all] Goodbye, officers.
Bye, sergeant.
Goodbye, kids.
Bye.
Goodbye.
See you later, partner.
Stay in a group.
[sighs]
[gun cocks]
[door shuts]
Ethyl, I thought you'd be at work.
I was fired last week.
You were what?
I asked for another advance to pay the rent
and it was just... once too often.
Okay. Look. Listen.
Everything's gonna be alright.
What are you gonna do? Hock your shotgun?
[chuckles] Yeah.
Uh..
I'm gonna get my money back.
What money? Where'd you get it this time?
Honey, don't worry about it.
Sam, the only money we had was that annuity.
'You've already forged my signature to cash that in.'
I'll get it back.
Police were here.
The Highway Patrol.
I told them I didn't want them to bother you.
Oh, well, you just won't have to be
so considerate of me from now on.
Okay.
[sighs]
Okay.
I got sucked in by a subway dealer
but I'm gonna get my money back.
And I promise you, babe
from now on, it's gonna be different.
Yeah, it's gonna be different.
Because this time when you come back..
...if you come back..
...I'm not gonna be here.
[Ponch] Remember now, kids, if you're in trouble
and you hear a siren, don't be scared.
Because sirens mean that help is on the way.
Friends are coming, okay?
[all] Okay.
- Alright. - Bye, Ponch.
Goodbye.
[all] Bye. Bye.
[sighs]
You would be a terrific teacher.
I don't know how much I could take.
But I can see you're a pretty busy lady.
Yeah, well, with first graders though
I don't have homework to correct or anything
so my evenings are pretty free.
By free, you mean, uh, to go out for pizza?
Oh, yeah. Thanks. I'd love to.
'Yes. Mm-hmm.'
But if you'd..
Mm-hmm.
If you just hold on, alright?
Jon, you have a call on line 2.
Alright.
Hello.
Uh, yes, can you give a description
of the truck and the license number?
He's driving the pickup truck.
And I thought he was gonna pawn the shotgun, but he's, uh..
He's got ammunition with him too.
You did the right thing, Mrs. Sanders.
Uh, will you be at home?
[chuckling] Oh, no, no, I'm..
[sighs]
Yeah, I'll be at home.
Yes, ma'am.
Okay. Buh-bye.
Hmm.
Loser's last resort.
I'll put out an APB.
Sanders!
With a gun.
Go! Go!
[tires screeching]
[chatter]
- Did he follow? - I don't know.
He's right behind us.
Move it.
Hey, Ponch. Isn't that Sanders' truck?
[tires screeching]
LA 15, 7 Mary 3 in pursuit of motor home and pickup
described in APB.
Northbound Glendale Freeway
north of construction zone.
[siren wailing]
[honking]
[tires screeching]
- Oh. - Ah.
[tires screeching]
Ned, you better pull over.
If I pull over, that guy will kill us.
Motor home, pull over and stop.
If I pull over those cops will bust us too.
[tires screeching]
Try not to scratch anything, Jon.
[siren wailing]
Motor home, pull over and stop.
Pull over, Ned.
Pickup. Pull over.
[tires screeching]
Everybody out. Now.
Mmm-hmm.
[murmuring]
Hands on top of your head.
Face the camper.
[sighs]
Well, he didn't always lose.
- Put your hands on your head. - I'll call it in.
[clears throat]
Anything you need?
Yeah. Bus.
[Baker] It looks like it just came off the assembly line.
Yep. All except one minor detail.
We're just gonna have to face it.
That's right, it couldn't be helped.
Hey, you wanna flip and see who tells Getraer?
Flip my foot, man.
I wasn't driving. You said you'd face it.
Hey, I said we'll face it.
Okay, Jon. You did it.
If you wanna flip to see who tells Getraer you did it..
...then flip.
[metal screeching]