1 00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:13,430 [Theme - dionne Warwick, "the love boat theme"] 2 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:14,264 Theme song: Love. 3 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,437 Love exciting and new. 4 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,230 Come aboard. 5 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:26,818 We're expecting you. 6 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:36,327 And love-- love is life's sweetest reward. 7 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:41,291 Let it flow. 8 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:45,670 It floats back to you. 9 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:49,174 The love boat. 10 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:53,720 Soon we'll be making another run. 11 00:00:53,803 --> 00:01:01,644 The love boat promises something for everyone. 12 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,273 Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance. 13 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:17,660 And love-- love won't hurt anymore. 14 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:26,127 It's an open smile on a friendly shore. 15 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:29,589 The love boat. 16 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:33,676 Soon we'll be making another run. 17 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,429 Welcome aboard. 18 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,472 It's love. 19 00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:44,020 Welcome aboard. 20 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,063 It's love. 21 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,289 Hello, wrestling fans. 22 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,125 I'm Eddie dumont here aboard the pacific Princess 23 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:09,671 to cover the much touted grudge match between Thomas "the 24 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:12,382 mangler" sharkey and the notorious lover boy Bob, 25 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,344 and who better to give us the color commentary than the one, 26 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:18,221 the only hulk hogan? 27 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,389 Any chance of getting you in the ring tomorrow, hulk? 28 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,892 I wouldn't step in the ring with those two dudes, man. 29 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,478 I'm the world wrestling federation heavyweight champion 30 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,729 of the world, and I only climb in the ring 31 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,440 with top contenders. 32 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:32,068 Well, you've heard it here from the hulk himself, ladies-- 33 00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,236 wait a minute. 34 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,779 Let me get one thing straight right from the start. 35 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,407 On this ship, I'm the only professional wrestler on board, 36 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,742 and I don't know who these two skinny little wimps 37 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,120 are running around, but they're definitely not wrestlers. 38 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,788 And they better not get in my way, 39 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,248 because I'm here to stay, not to play, 40 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,167 and I'm looking for a real good time around here. 41 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,923 Thank you for that color commentary, hulk. 42 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,508 I can't believe the cruise line would 43 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:56,426 sponsor a wrestling match. 44 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,595 I mean, this stuff is so ridiculous. 45 00:02:58,678 --> 00:02:59,596 Are you kidding? 46 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:00,763 Haven't you ever seen a match? 47 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,183 Me at a wrestling match? 48 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,102 Vicki, please, think about it. 49 00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,395 Oh, come on. 50 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,272 Let me tell you, I saw hulk hogan 51 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,816 get beaten with a folding chair and still come back to win. 52 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,610 You can't beat that kind of action. 53 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,819 Eddie dumont: Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, lover boy Bob. 54 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,739 Bob, please a word for the fans. 55 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:18,948 I've been waiting for this match 56 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,451 ever since the mangler put my partner in a hospital 57 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,660 with an illegal move. 58 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,913 Hey, what's wrong with an illegal move? 59 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,206 You know, you gotta take the good with the bad in this job, 60 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,291 Sonny. 61 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,293 A kick to the head, a short chop to the teeth-- 62 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,546 that's ok, just as long as they do it to you first. 63 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,132 It's payback time, and i'm gonna mangle the mangler. 64 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:38,635 You heard it here, ladies and gentlemen. 65 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:41,054 This could be the match of the century-- 66 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,805 not counting any of your matches, hulk, sir. 67 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:46,059 Ah, there he is-- the mangler. 68 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,769 What are your thoughts on the match, mangler? 69 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,812 I don't know what lover boy's been telling you, 70 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,190 but my fans know, and you know, Eddie, I'm here 71 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:55,485 to fight a clean fight, and rip off this guy's head, 72 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,569 and stuff it down his neck. 73 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:57,111 Yeah! Come here! 74 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:57,695 Let's [inaudible]. 75 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,822 Easy, moderators. 76 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:08,039 And we'll be here to cover all the action on awn, 77 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,374 the all wrestling network. 78 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,880 Oh, darn. 79 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,507 Did I miss the debates? 80 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:21,678 That colorful exchange of philosophies and ideas? 81 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:22,804 Will you give me a break, sis? 82 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:23,304 We're advertising the match. 83 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:33,606 Ok, Mr. Kants, that's cabin 343, aloha deck. 84 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,732 So my cousin finally got to be a big shot? 85 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,442 Oh, Gretchen. 86 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,944 Hi. 87 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,071 It's about time you broke down and went on a cruise. 88 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:42,323 This is gonna be one of the best. 89 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:42,782 Oh, excellent weather? 90 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,034 Excellent men. 91 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,578 Judy, I love you, but if you insist on upholding the family 92 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,122 tradition of finding a man for poor Gretchen, 93 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,791 I'm getting off this boat right now. 94 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,042 Ok, ok. 95 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,628 It's my job to set out the buffet. 96 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,170 You decide what to sample. 97 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,672 I mean it, Judy. 98 00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:00,967 I can still take you. 99 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,552 - Welcome aboard. - Hi, welcome aboard. 100 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:03,261 Believe me, sir. 101 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:03,886 This is a dynamite idea. 102 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,263 Hello, welcome aboard. 103 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,724 Hi, welcome aboard. Sir, come on. 104 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:08,766 This is a great idea. 105 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,851 How can you say no before you've even heard. 106 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,144 All right, gopher. 107 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,729 Let's have it. 108 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,231 Ok, all right, starting this cruise, 109 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:19,736 we offer our passengers an exciting new adventure-- 110 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,112 mystery port. 111 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,280 Mystery port? 112 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,991 As a special bonus, we make a stop at a port that is 113 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,576 not on our regular itinerary. 114 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:27,368 Forget it, gopher. 115 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,703 Oh, sir, come on. 116 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,413 I'm just trying to liven things up around here. 117 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,166 I mean, aren't you tired of doing the same old thing 118 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:34,917 the same old way? 119 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,085 Old? 120 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,378 Well, I don't mean you personally, sir. 121 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,673 I mean, well, after all, there may be snow on the mountain, 122 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,008 but there's fire down below. 123 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,551 You're right. 124 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,595 A lot of that snow has melted now, especially up here 125 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,346 above the timber line. 126 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,598 Gopher, go to your hole. 127 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,348 Ok. 128 00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,594 Too [inaudible]. 129 00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,596 Too old. 130 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,598 Too married. 131 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:31,641 Judy, I don't get it. 132 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:34,143 Your cousin Gretchen is a very attractive woman. 133 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,938 Why are you so worried that she can't find a man on her own? 134 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,481 Because she is so picky, ace. 135 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,899 All of her life she's been looking 136 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,943 for a guy who's a cross between Tom 137 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,820 Selleck and Henry kissinger. 138 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,823 A hunk who can go on "nightline," huh? 139 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,032 Any candidates? 140 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,701 No, but I'm not gonna give up. 141 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:51,786 Hey, Isaac. 142 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:52,829 Hey, doc. 143 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,497 Uh, I'd like a club soda, please. 144 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,832 Nathan, what would you like? 145 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:56,165 I'll have the same thing. 146 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,500 Thanks. 147 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:57,834 Ok. 148 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,211 Hi. 149 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,922 Enjoying the cruise, mister, uh-- 150 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:03,756 Paul-- Nathan Paul. 151 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,341 Yes, I'm having a wonderful time. 152 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:06,092 Thank you. 153 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,301 Uh, Judy's our cruise director. 154 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,928 She'll see to it that you have the time of your life. 155 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:11,556 You bet I will. 156 00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:16,060 So, Mr. Paul, uh, what is it you do for a living? 157 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,687 I'm an author. 158 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:18,521 Have I read any of your books? 159 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,982 Not if you've gone through puberty. 160 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,275 I write children's books. 161 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:23,317 Oh. 162 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,944 But if you can't sleep tonight, give me a call. 163 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,238 I'll tell you a bedtime story. 164 00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,782 Well, there is one thing I know about writers-- 165 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,117 they never get enough sun. 166 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,328 So here we are, prime sunny location. 167 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,121 Gretchen. 168 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,289 Gretchen, honey. 169 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:37,331 What a surprise. 170 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,251 Um, Gretchen, this is Nathan Paul. 171 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,378 Nathan Paul, my cousin, Gretchen summers. 172 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,005 Hello. 173 00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,757 Nathan is a writer. 174 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,926 Gretchen's a stockbroker. 175 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,720 Fluent in three languages. 176 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,347 Loves to ski. 177 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,807 I'd like to stay and play the dating game, 178 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,058 but I've got to run. 179 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,143 Nice to have met you, Nathan. 180 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:15,578 Mind if I sit here. 181 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:16,537 No. 182 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,623 I mean, if you think it's a good idea. 183 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,292 Well, it's hard getting a tan standing up. 184 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,753 Just kind of ironic with all the, uh, 185 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,048 women around here you decide to sit next to me. 186 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,216 Well, it just looked like a good place to sit. 187 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,927 You don't know who I am, do you? 188 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,096 No, but I'm Bob. 189 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:34,931 I'm Linda. 190 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,891 There we go. 191 00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:39,894 You're Linda, and I'm Bob. 192 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,270 "How to talk to anyone"-- 193 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,439 that's what you're reading? 194 00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:48,402 Yeah, um, I thought it might help me out. 195 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,445 Kind of shy. 196 00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:50,363 You're kidding. 197 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:51,364 No. 198 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:54,116 In fact, I'm running out of things to say. 199 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,452 Think you can give me a hand? 200 00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:57,245 Sure. 201 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,291 Sure. 202 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,876 Woman: Lift the right twice, and then the left. 203 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,878 Then the right. 204 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,462 Woman: Starlight, keep your knees together. 205 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,631 It's a real '20s look. 206 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,467 I will never be able to do this new step for my solo. 207 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,551 You have time, starlight. 208 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,846 Just keep at it. 209 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,683 If you couldn't do it, would they fire you? 210 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,268 I mean, how would they do that at sea? 211 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,770 They make you swim home. 212 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,982 Boy, they're strict. 213 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,694 So with the right [Inaudible] left. 214 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,821 You're getting sleepy. 215 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:36,701 You feel your entire body relaxing into a deep sleep. 216 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:44,333 Ever more relaxed, ever more sleepy, your mind is vacant. 217 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,293 I don't, man. 218 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,003 It seems all the captain wants to do around 219 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,171 here is run things by the book. 220 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,298 I'll tell you this, if I were the captain, 221 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,591 I'd know how to jazz things up. 222 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,342 Yeah, right. 223 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,593 Say, who is that guy, anyway? 224 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:58,180 Oh, that guy is the amazing Zimmerman. 225 00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,724 Judy hired him for the cruise. 226 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,225 Well, what is he doing, rehearsing 227 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,477 or trying to get a date? 228 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,895 You know, it hurts me that you are 229 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,940 not interested in listening to your best friends spill 230 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,319 his guts. 231 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,654 I'm sorry. 232 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:16,574 Listen, as far as the captain is concerned, if I were you, 233 00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,868 I would cool it with the bright ideas for a while. 234 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,995 He still chokes when anyone mentions the idea 235 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:21,954 you had about the kitty casino. 236 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:22,872 [Phone ringing] 237 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:27,043 Excuse me. 238 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,586 Lido bar. 239 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:32,048 You're getting more and more sleepy. 240 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,633 You are drifting to a level of consciousness 241 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:38,471 where no man has ever gone before. 242 00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:42,516 Your mind is a magic slate, an empty blackboard 243 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,061 devoid of thought, purpose. 244 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:48,856 I am in control. 245 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:53,069 And now, if you're completely relaxed, twitch your nose. 246 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,991 And now you will do the very next thing you're told to do. 247 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:04,580 If you understand this, give the amazing Zimmerman a nod. 248 00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:06,624 I've bad news, amazing. 249 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,875 What? 250 00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:09,377 I'm not hypnotized. 251 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,211 Really? 252 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,796 How about dinner? 253 00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,010 All right, where were we? 254 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,678 Oh, yes. 255 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,890 You were spilling your guts. 256 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:29,772 You know, I'd like to see you try and be the captain. 257 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,732 Excuse me, sailor. 258 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,733 I've got a ship to run. 259 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,368 You know me, Eddie. 260 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,954 I train hard, and I take good care of myself. 261 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:48,749 And if lover boy thinks he's gonna try his grip of death 262 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,918 on me, this is what I'm gonna to do to him. 263 00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,967 Oh, Nelly. 264 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,136 Did you see that, fans? 265 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,637 Don't miss the action-- 266 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:07,309 the mangler versus lover boy on awn, the all wrestling network. 267 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,728 Ok, that was good. 268 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:10,479 Beautiful. 269 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,313 Thanks, champ. 270 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,023 Hey, mangler. 271 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:13,983 How's it going? 272 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,568 Hi, guys. 273 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,610 How you doing, sis? 274 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:21,031 Ok, guess who I just spent time with? 275 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,533 Lover boy Bob. 276 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:23,492 Stay away from that jerk. 277 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,661 - Will you take it easy? - No. 278 00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:26,328 No sister of mine's gonna hang around 279 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,581 with an animal like that. 280 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:31,000 He happens to be a very sweet man. 281 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,543 Did you know that he's actually very shy? 282 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,628 We had a really nice talk. 283 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:35,713 I mean, he doesn't even know I'm your sister. 284 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:36,464 I mean it. 285 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,174 Stay away from him. 286 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,050 I don't want you to we one of lover boy's bimbos. 287 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:43,971 I'm a big girl now, and I can take care of myself, thank you. 288 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,489 You have good taste. 289 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,448 Oh, you've got it? 290 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,324 Twice. 291 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:04,325 It must be good. 292 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,117 Trust me. 293 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:36,398 I'm sorry, goph. 294 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,483 [Inaudible] That, sailor. 295 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:38,275 What? 296 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:46,575 What you mean to say is I'm sorry, sir! 297 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,409 Right. 298 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,746 I'm sorry, sir. 299 00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:51,539 Whoa. 300 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:57,002 I'm going to have to put that young man on report. 301 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:05,261 Why do I have all these keys? 302 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,346 Because I'm the captain. 303 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,013 Captains need keys. 304 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,130 Doc, I've been looking all over for you. 305 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,631 Gopher is acting strange. 306 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,132 Yeah, what else is new? 307 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:43,924 Doc! 308 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,930 Let the games begin. 309 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,477 Good evening. 310 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,145 You're right. 311 00:14:56,228 --> 00:15:00,024 He is stranger than usual. 312 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:02,192 Good evening. 313 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,986 Good evening. 314 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:08,490 On behalf of the captain, me, I want to wish you bon appetit. 315 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,658 You know what that means? 316 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,660 It's French for good appetite. 317 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,829 I speak French because I'm the captain. 318 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,585 I met the captain when we came aboard. 319 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,295 That's not him. 320 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,922 Maybe he's the, uh, night captain. 321 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:24,757 Evening. 322 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,716 Good evening. 323 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:26,467 Gopher. 324 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:27,009 Evening. 325 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,052 What are you doing? 326 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,721 You will address me as captain or sir, mister, 327 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,014 or you will not address me at all. 328 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,516 All right, gopher, you've had your little joke. 329 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,310 Stop pretending to be the captain. 330 00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:38,228 This is gross insubordination. 331 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,521 I want your commission. 332 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,734 You can our commissions later, but right now 333 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,736 you're wanted on the bridge. 334 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,572 Oh, well, the bridge-- that's different. 335 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:49,782 Leaving so soon, gentlemen. 336 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,367 We just thought we'd take a little stroll around deck 337 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,159 before dinner. 338 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,081 I'm sorry, Linda. 339 00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:59,667 This'll just take a minute. 340 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,752 Hey, dog face, have some consideration and leave. 341 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:02,628 I mean, people are trying to eat here. 342 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:03,629 You can close the big mouth. 343 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,714 I want to talk to my sister. 344 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,507 Sister? 345 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,512 You're the mangler's sister? 346 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,263 I was gonna mention that later. 347 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,766 I told you I don't want you anywhere near this guy. 348 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,310 And I told you I will see whoever I want. 349 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,396 Look, Linda, I've always looked after you. 350 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,855 Guys like this are bad news. 351 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,565 Hey, you want to say that to my face? 352 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,025 Bob, this is between my brother and me. 353 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:28,112 He doesn't seem to think I can have a life of my own. 354 00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,571 Hey, listen, if i'm just here to prove 355 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,156 your independence to your brother, 356 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,741 well, you can find someone else. 357 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,957 All right, I want some answers, and I want them now. 358 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,458 What was the rush to have me examined? 359 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,919 Well, you due for you-- 360 00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,088 sir, you were due for your annual physical today, 361 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,841 and I couldn't rest knowing I let the day 362 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,427 go by without doing my job. 363 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:52,761 So how am I? 364 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:53,721 Nutty ass-- 365 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,889 sound as a dollar. 366 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,307 Good. 367 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,767 In that case, I'll put on my jacket 368 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,436 and be about my business. 369 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,354 Doc, what's wrong with him? 370 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,773 Beats me. 371 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,942 Maybe gopher's had-- 372 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:10,612 gopher's had a nervous breakdown. 373 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,406 In any case, i'd better tell the captain. 374 00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:13,365 Well, you can't. 375 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:17,369 If the c-- captain finds out about this-- 376 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,746 he's already on gopher's case-- 377 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,038 it'll be the last straw. 378 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,750 Now, that may be, but I can't let him roam around like this. 379 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,547 I'll give him a mild sedative. 380 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,798 Good. 381 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,592 Maybe when he wakes up in the morning, 382 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:32,468 he'll be his old self again. 383 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:36,889 I don't know. 384 00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:37,890 Maybe we should aim higher. 385 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:50,444 Well, looks like we've been seated at the same table. 386 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:51,945 What a nice surprise. 387 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,656 It's very nice, but hardly a surprise. 388 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,117 I'm sure this is Judy's doing. 389 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,828 Look, Nathan, I think you deserve an explanation. 390 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,332 Judy's my cousin, and apparently she's devoting every waking 391 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,584 hour to finding a man for me. 392 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,003 Well, you don't seem the type that would need any help. 393 00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,380 I'm not, but everyone in my family 394 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,800 is concerned that, if I don't settle down soon, 395 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,344 all the good men will be gone. 396 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,429 I'll be stuck with a rebounder. 397 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,514 I know what you mean. 398 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,723 My family is worried that, if I don't get married, 399 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,266 I'm not gonna eat right. 400 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:26,688 Sometimes I wish I could cross my fingers, and wiggle one ear, 401 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,942 and make whoever I choose disappear. 402 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:33,862 That's from my book, "the runaway frog." 403 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:34,571 You read it? 404 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,657 I couldn't put it down. 405 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,076 But that-- that's a children's book. 406 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:43,664 Well, I read it in the privacy of my own cabin. 407 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,583 I'm really touched. 408 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,001 So what do you think? 409 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,211 Nathan, it's a children's book. 410 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:49,711 I'm not an expert in the field. 411 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,547 Sure you are. 412 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,257 You were a kid once, weren't you? 413 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:53,715 Go on, be brutal. 414 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,884 All right. 415 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,679 Well, ok, it's better than "the poky little 416 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:02,099 puppy," but not quite on a par with "the little engine 417 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:02,933 that could." 418 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,208 I, um-- 419 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:36,133 I wanted to apologize for what happened at dinner tonight. 420 00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:36,884 You were right. 421 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,719 I, uh, was using you. 422 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,763 Oh, i-- I feel better. 423 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,266 Before I just thought I was a fool. 424 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,434 Now I know it. 425 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,935 No, you're not. 426 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,104 Bob, I really like you, and that's why I didn't tell you 427 00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:50,939 who I was when we first met, because I 428 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,358 didn't want to spoil things. 429 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,360 Didn't think the family would approve. 430 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,154 Will you forget about my brother? 431 00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:00,240 I wanted to see you again because, well, 432 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:03,869 you're not at all the way you appear to be on TV. 433 00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,582 I like you a lot. 434 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,170 You mean that? 435 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,631 Yeah. 436 00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:18,342 Why else would I come crawling back here 437 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,135 and ask you to go dancing? 438 00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:21,303 I got it. 439 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,096 You're trying to tire me out before the big match. 440 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,933 We'll only dance the slow ones. 441 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,313 6, 7, 8. 442 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,606 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 443 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,316 That's right. 444 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,484 You got it. 445 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,401 Good. 446 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,361 I can do it with my fingers. 447 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,863 Now if I could only do it with my feet. 448 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,574 Oh, you'll do it. 449 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,327 I still feel badly about walking out on the hypnotist, 450 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,204 but I swear the only reason the subject fell asleep 451 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:50,749 was because she got tired of watching his act. 452 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,209 I really enjoyed this evening. 453 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:54,252 So have I. 454 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,506 Well, I guess I ought to thank Judy for doing a good job. 455 00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,425 Well, the, uh, $10 I slipped her to put me to the top 456 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,177 of the list ought to help. 457 00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,553 Would you like to dance? 458 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,346 Ok. 459 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:10,811 Maybe when I do-- 460 00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:12,521 uh, excuse me. 461 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,855 I just checked the infirmary. 462 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,983 Gopher's gone. 463 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,527 Well, maybe he woke up, remembered who he 464 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,820 is, and went back to his cabin. 465 00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,363 Gopher (on intercom): Attention all passengers. 466 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,823 Attention all passenger. 467 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:24,199 Tomorrow after the wrestling match, 468 00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:27,244 we'll be stopping at our mystery port. 469 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,370 Here's a clue. 470 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,373 This port's government is about to be overthrown. 471 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,792 The smoking lamp is now lit. 472 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:34,626 I think we'd better find him. 473 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,545 Excuse me. 474 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:37,379 Excuse us. 475 00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,692 Lover boy Bob: Look at this spread. 476 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:00,068 There you go. What do you want? 477 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:00,902 I wonder what I want. 478 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:01,737 I want a kiwi. 479 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,363 All right. 480 00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:03,739 Here you go. 481 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,992 One kiwi. 482 00:22:07,075 --> 00:22:07,743 You know I used to wear a hood in the ring? 483 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,536 Yeah? 484 00:22:09,619 --> 00:22:11,079 Yeah, but I passed out one night 485 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,205 because I couldn't breathe. 486 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:16,585 I mean, it was so embarrassing. 487 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:17,627 [Inaudible] 488 00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:18,587 Great. 489 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,672 He must have radar. 490 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:21,590 I'll handle this. 491 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,133 I want to talk to you. 492 00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:24,134 Listen, Thomas. 493 00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:25,594 Your sister's with me because she wants 494 00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:26,678 to be with me, so butt out. 495 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:28,430 Well, my fight's not with my sister anymore. 496 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:29,389 It's with you. 497 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:30,932 When we step in that ring this afternoon, 498 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,434 I'm gonna end your career permanently. 499 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:33,602 Come on, Jimmy. 500 00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,312 Let's get this on tape. 501 00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:36,855 Shut up, Eddie. 502 00:22:36,938 --> 00:22:38,982 You wouldn't talk to me like that if the hulkster was here. 503 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:39,941 Is this a blood feud? 504 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,194 Are you two in love? 505 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:43,278 I don't understand. 506 00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:46,490 You usually get these step right away. 507 00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:48,283 But it's the Charleston. 508 00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:51,787 It's a '20s number, and I have an '80s body. 509 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:52,412 You'll be fine. 510 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,748 We'll work with you. 511 00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:56,375 We're your friends, and we care about you. 512 00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:01,838 Morning, Gretchen. 513 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:04,299 Hi. 514 00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:06,968 Well, you and Nathan seemed to be 515 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,179 enjoying yourselves last night. 516 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:11,264 Last night was wonderful. 517 00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:14,142 Nathan's everything I've ever looked for in a man. 518 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,645 Then everything's working out, right? 519 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:21,483 Well, unfortunately it's a day late and a dollar short. 520 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:23,151 Why? 521 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:28,782 You see, two months ago I turned 30. 522 00:23:28,865 --> 00:23:31,159 It's one of those milestone birthdays 523 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,203 where you kind of take stock of yourself, 524 00:23:33,286 --> 00:23:33,995 and it was depressing. 525 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,289 Why, because you're all alone? 526 00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,499 Mm-hm. 527 00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:39,209 I always expected to have a career 528 00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:41,586 and still be able to have a husband and children, 529 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:44,423 but the right guy never came along. 530 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:47,008 And then I realized that, if I waited until I was 35 531 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:50,178 to have my first child, I'd be 53 before she 532 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,221 graduated from high school. 533 00:23:51,304 --> 00:23:52,597 And then by the time my kid finished 534 00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:57,018 college and med school, i'd be old enough for medicare. 535 00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:00,188 Well, Gretchen, what are you gonna do about it? 536 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,482 I've already done it. 537 00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:04,192 I'm six weeks pregnant. 538 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,694 Oh my god. 539 00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:08,530 Um, maybe we should go someplace where you 540 00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:09,656 can lie down, and I'll explain. 541 00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:20,542 Well, did you find him? 542 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:21,877 I looked everywhere. 543 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,336 I even checked his make out nest in the boiler room-- nothing. 544 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:25,046 Well, I'd better tell the captain. 545 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:29,384 Uh, doc, please, hold off. 546 00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:30,677 I know I can find it. 547 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:31,678 Well-- 548 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:32,471 thanks. 549 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:38,185 Adam, gopher has gone too far this time. 550 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:39,102 What's he done now? 551 00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:40,395 That announcement he made last night. 552 00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:42,898 I don't like members of my crew making 553 00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:45,066 what they consider jokes over the ship's 554 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:46,610 public address system. 555 00:24:46,693 --> 00:24:47,444 Uh, captain? 556 00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:48,195 Yes? 557 00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,571 Would you please explain this? 558 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:50,238 What is it? 559 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,406 It's a loyalty oath. 560 00:24:51,489 --> 00:24:52,741 The entire crew got one. 561 00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,534 Well, I didn't send any of these out. 562 00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:56,870 Well, your signature's on it. 563 00:24:56,953 --> 00:24:59,080 That's not my signature. 564 00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:01,374 I always put a little happy face inside my b. 565 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:02,667 Oh, yeah. 566 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,920 I want a meeting in my office right 567 00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,797 after the wrestling match. 568 00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:08,757 Well, he's ticked off now. 569 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,092 Mm. 570 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:12,594 Gopher (on intercom): Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain. 571 00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:14,012 I'd like to remind you that the wrestling 572 00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:15,513 match is about to begin. 573 00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:18,934 No one will be seated after the first round, 574 00:25:19,017 --> 00:25:22,938 except me, because I'm the captain. 575 00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:24,648 Eddie dumont: Fans, we've had the introductions. 576 00:25:24,731 --> 00:25:26,900 We are seconds away from a match that's shaping 577 00:25:26,983 --> 00:25:28,193 up to be a real blood feud. 578 00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:29,194 Hulk, could you give us an in depth analysis 579 00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:31,488 of these two fine competitors. 580 00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:33,782 Yeah, this macho man, lover boy, is so skinny 581 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:36,284 he makes boy George look like Superman. 582 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:38,411 And as far as the mangler goes, he's just 583 00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:39,871 plain scared of his own shadow. 584 00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:41,164 Eddie dumont: Thank you, hulk. 585 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:45,001 Ok, fans, it looks like it's almost time for the bell. 586 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,294 Tommy, please. 587 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:47,629 Bob is actually a very nice guy. 588 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:50,632 Yeah, well, excuse me, but I got to go 589 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:51,591 rip your boyfriend apart now. 590 00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:53,677 Eddie dumont: All right, wrestling fans, 591 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,554 we are seconds away from the match of the century. 592 00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:59,140 A few [inaudible] from the mangler. 593 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:02,310 Going to take more than cape work to win this bout, mangler. 594 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:03,979 All right, they're stepping into the ring. 595 00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:05,563 The fans are on the edge of their seat. 596 00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:06,648 [Ding] There's the bell. 597 00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:07,315 They're circling around looking for that ever 598 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,734 important first advantage. 599 00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,278 Lot of aggression here on the face. 600 00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:12,320 A lot of aggression. 601 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:13,738 And they're locking up. 602 00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:14,489 They're locking up, fans. 603 00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:16,157 Neither one has the advantage. 604 00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:17,617 They're looking. 605 00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,202 They're looking, and the mangler is going for a head lock. 606 00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:20,287 He used the hair to get a head lock. 607 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,163 Illegal use of hair! 608 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,873 We're talking hair here, ref! 609 00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:25,583 We're talking illegal hair! 610 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:28,336 And now mangler is slamming lover boy to the canvas. 611 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,337 Hey, ref, wake up! 612 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,881 Boy, you ever work with this ref before, hulk? 613 00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:32,841 Are you kidding? 614 00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:34,175 I wouldn't work with anybody in there. 615 00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:35,802 Eddie dumont: All right, the mangler is working his eyes, 616 00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,971 and now the mangler is on the rope, and it's leap frog. 617 00:26:38,054 --> 00:26:42,309 Whoa, Nelly! 618 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:44,311 It could've been Sunday! 619 00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:45,270 Come on, lover boy! 620 00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:46,938 Give him the grip of death! 621 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:48,315 Come on, mangler! 622 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:48,857 Rip his lips off! 623 00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,817 Come on! 624 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:51,985 Kill him! 625 00:26:52,068 --> 00:26:53,361 Eddie dumont: And now they're locking up, locking up. 626 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:54,904 And the mangler has him by the leg. 627 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:59,534 He's got him by the leg, and it's a step over toe hold. 628 00:26:59,617 --> 00:27:03,038 The mangler is mangling lover boy's foot. 629 00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:04,831 He just-- oh, face is kicked! 630 00:27:04,914 --> 00:27:05,582 Illegal kick, ref! 631 00:27:05,665 --> 00:27:06,624 Illegal kick! 632 00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:07,334 Tommy! 633 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:09,002 Tommy, let him go! 634 00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:11,963 Eddie dumont: He's still toasting those toes. 635 00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:13,757 Oh, he won't fit into that shoe again. 636 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:14,507 Not gonna fit into that shoe, is he, hulk? 637 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:17,552 Still torturing those tootsies. 638 00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:19,888 And there's the tip off! 639 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,890 And lover boy is-- a kick up by lover boy! 640 00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:26,144 And they're circling around, looking for that advantage. 641 00:27:26,227 --> 00:27:29,272 Looking and locking up again, fans. 642 00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:30,732 Locking up again. 643 00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:32,025 And-- oh, mangler grabs the hair, 644 00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:35,737 and mangler has him in a vicious head lock working the eyes. 645 00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:38,156 On the rope, and dipsy doodle. 646 00:27:38,239 --> 00:27:39,741 Here comes big splash! 647 00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:40,742 Just misses! 648 00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:41,743 Just misses! 649 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:44,412 Mangler rolls away, but he is tired, fans. 650 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,747 He is tired. 651 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:46,414 They're looking. 652 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,000 And big splash misses! 653 00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:50,210 Little puddle. 654 00:27:50,293 --> 00:27:51,961 These boys are tired. 655 00:27:52,045 --> 00:27:52,796 Is it gonna be a draw? 656 00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:55,840 It's gut instinct alone now fans. 657 00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:58,093 They're up, and it's bear hug. 658 00:27:58,176 --> 00:28:00,261 Bear hug. 659 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:01,971 Who has the advantage? 660 00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:02,972 It's hard to tell, wrestling fans, 661 00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:05,100 as these tired warriors fall to their knees. 662 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:07,852 Oh, a last grip! 663 00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:10,772 Hulk, this certainly isn't the match we anticipated. 664 00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:13,316 Yeah, these guys are a lot worse than I thought they were. 665 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:17,612 They don't even deserve to call themselves wrestlers! 666 00:28:17,695 --> 00:28:19,114 Wait just a gosh darn minute, fans. 667 00:28:19,197 --> 00:28:22,200 The hulkster is going into the ring and is going to do damage! 668 00:28:22,283 --> 00:28:23,952 This is totally unexpected. 669 00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:24,786 What are you doing? 670 00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:25,703 This is our fight. 671 00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:27,622 You're an insult to my profession. 672 00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:29,082 My integrity's at stake here. 673 00:28:33,711 --> 00:28:35,088 [Inaudible] 674 00:28:35,171 --> 00:28:37,173 Eddie dumont: [Inaudible] He's killing lover boy! 675 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,299 He's got him by the throat! 676 00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:41,594 And oh my god, there goes lover boy into the fans! 677 00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:43,096 And here's the mangler. 678 00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:45,682 Women and children are running for their lives. 679 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:51,771 Fans, in all my years in wrestling, 680 00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:53,982 I have never seen anything like this. 681 00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:57,068 Hulk hogan has single handedly ended this match. 682 00:28:57,152 --> 00:29:00,780 I predict there will be an investigation and a rematch. 683 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:04,701 Stay tuned to awn for future updates. 684 00:29:14,169 --> 00:29:17,630 I know gopher is behind all those memos, loyalty 685 00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,382 oaths, strange announcements. 686 00:29:19,466 --> 00:29:22,844 It appears gopher is suffering from a delusion. 687 00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:24,762 He thinks he's you. 688 00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:26,139 He thinks he's me. 689 00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:28,183 No, him, the captain. 690 00:29:28,266 --> 00:29:29,684 Me, why? 691 00:29:29,767 --> 00:29:31,436 Well, it all started on the lido deck. 692 00:29:31,519 --> 00:29:33,771 Gopher was telling me about the dressing down 693 00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:35,773 that you gave him, and everyone else 694 00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:37,901 was watching the amazing Zimmerman 695 00:29:37,984 --> 00:29:40,653 trying to hypnotize Jane. 696 00:29:45,783 --> 00:29:47,452 You don't think that-- 697 00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:49,412 I think gopher's been hypnotized 698 00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:50,497 into believing he's me. 699 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:53,333 Oh, you can't be serious. 700 00:29:53,416 --> 00:29:54,918 Zimmerman is a terrible hypnotist. 701 00:29:55,001 --> 00:29:59,672 Well, even a bad hypnotist is successful sometimes. 702 00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:02,050 You've got to find him and get gopher out of this. 703 00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:04,219 Well, sir, that's going to be a little difficult. 704 00:30:04,302 --> 00:30:06,679 You see, the passengers hated his act 705 00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:07,889 so much that I had to fire him. 706 00:30:07,972 --> 00:30:09,557 The last time I saw him he was wandering 707 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:12,560 around the ship depressed. 708 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:15,271 Well, what are we gonna do? 709 00:30:15,355 --> 00:30:16,564 Well, the post hypnotic suggestion 710 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:18,441 has got to wear off in time. 711 00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:19,984 All right, you look for Zimmerman. 712 00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:20,318 You look for gopher. 713 00:30:20,401 --> 00:30:22,362 Right. 714 00:30:22,445 --> 00:30:23,863 At least he didn't do any real harm. 715 00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:24,656 Right. 716 00:30:26,574 --> 00:30:29,744 Ace: Something wrong, sir? 717 00:30:29,827 --> 00:30:31,704 Yes. 718 00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,456 The coast is supposed to be on the port side. 719 00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:44,259 I want you to search this ship and find gopher on the double. 720 00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:46,469 All: Yes, sir. 721 00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:47,387 Hello, bridge. 722 00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:48,680 This is the captain-- 723 00:30:48,763 --> 00:30:51,975 the real captain, and I don't have a happy face. 724 00:31:00,858 --> 00:31:02,151 Judy (on intercom): We hope you enjoy 725 00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:02,860 your afternoon in acapulco. 726 00:31:02,944 --> 00:31:04,571 The ship sails at midnight. 727 00:31:04,654 --> 00:31:07,031 Oh, and if anyone sees the amazing Zimmerman, 728 00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:10,034 please tell him to report to the captain's office immediately. 729 00:31:24,632 --> 00:31:25,508 Gretchen, I gotta level with you. 730 00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:27,260 I got lousy feet. 731 00:31:27,343 --> 00:31:29,178 No kidding. 732 00:31:29,262 --> 00:31:30,513 After all the dancing we did last night 733 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:32,348 and all the walking around today, 734 00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:34,809 I'm gonna be laid up for at least a week. 735 00:31:34,892 --> 00:31:37,312 I just told you my deepest, darkest secret. 736 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:40,023 It's your turn. 737 00:31:40,106 --> 00:31:41,482 I don't know what you're talking about. 738 00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:42,483 Come on, Gretchen. 739 00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:44,736 You obviously have something on your mind. 740 00:31:44,819 --> 00:31:46,613 I'd just like to know what it is. 741 00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:48,156 I just don't know how to tell you. 742 00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:49,490 Why don't you make easy on yourself? 743 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:52,118 Just kind of talk to me. 744 00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:52,243 All right. 745 00:31:57,248 --> 00:32:04,380 I'm pregnant. 746 00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:06,049 You're joking with me, aren't you? 747 00:32:06,132 --> 00:32:08,051 No, I'm not. 748 00:32:08,134 --> 00:32:08,843 Oh, come on, Gretchen. 749 00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:10,011 I studied biology. 750 00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:11,554 Nothing we did last night could've caused that. 751 00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:13,848 It's not you. 752 00:32:13,931 --> 00:32:14,682 It's not anyone. 753 00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:20,355 This doesn't have anything to do with spaceships, does it? 754 00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:21,314 No, I'm serious. 755 00:32:21,397 --> 00:32:27,320 I was-- well, um, the cold clinical term 756 00:32:27,403 --> 00:32:30,198 is artificially inseminated. 757 00:32:30,281 --> 00:32:30,990 Why? 758 00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:38,706 Because I wanted to have a baby, and there wasn't any one 759 00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:39,999 around I wanted to have it with. 760 00:32:43,586 --> 00:32:45,254 You find that strange? 761 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:53,179 I never really gave it much thought before. 762 00:32:53,262 --> 00:32:54,555 Probably because I never actually wanted children 763 00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:58,726 myself under any circumstances. 764 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:04,065 Well, that certainly changes things, doesn't it? 765 00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:05,024 I won't waste anymore of your time. 766 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:21,999 - Hi. - Hi. 767 00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:22,750 Hi. 768 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,502 Has, uh, anybody seen gopher? 769 00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:26,295 He was here five minutes ago. 770 00:33:26,379 --> 00:33:29,215 Isaac-- and if he's going to be captain, I'm quitting. 771 00:33:42,895 --> 00:33:46,232 Uh, excuse me? 772 00:33:46,315 --> 00:33:49,944 Uh, uh, lover boy? 773 00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:02,665 Uh, listen, I have to admit I used 774 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:04,709 to think this pro wrestling stuff was pretty silly, 775 00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:06,627 but I have to hand it to you. 776 00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:07,295 I mean, you guys really earn your money. 777 00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:09,005 - Oh! - Oh, I'm sorry. 778 00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:28,149 Gopher! 779 00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:28,858 [Inaudible] 780 00:34:28,941 --> 00:34:31,152 Oh, you were wonderful. 781 00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:32,695 Just relax here for a while. 782 00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:34,447 Trust me, you'll feel so much better. 783 00:34:34,530 --> 00:34:37,283 I feel like I've ridden coast to coast under a truck. 784 00:34:45,374 --> 00:34:46,125 No, uh-uh. 785 00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:47,502 I'm not staying in here with you. 786 00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:48,503 Oh, yes you are. 787 00:34:48,586 --> 00:34:49,837 I'm not letting you two out until you can talk 788 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,172 to each other like grown ups. 789 00:34:51,255 --> 00:34:53,841 Hey, you want to replay the match right now. 790 00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,092 Hey, guys. 791 00:34:55,176 --> 00:34:56,761 Listen, can't you reason together? 792 00:34:56,844 --> 00:34:58,763 Violence never settled anything. 793 00:34:58,846 --> 00:34:59,222 We could warm up to you. 794 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:04,352 Uh, excuse me. 795 00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:05,853 I'm just an innocent bystander. 796 00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:07,522 Ah! 797 00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:08,648 Could you let me out? 798 00:35:16,739 --> 00:35:19,242 You better start talking. 799 00:35:19,325 --> 00:35:20,952 I'm staying right here, and I'm not letting 800 00:35:21,035 --> 00:35:22,328 you out until you shake hands. 801 00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:28,793 Oh. 802 00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:32,088 Oh, I'd like to punch you if I could lift my arm. 803 00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:52,608 Gopher, you in there? 804 00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:54,360 Safety check. 805 00:35:54,443 --> 00:35:54,485 Could save your life. 806 00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:05,037 A-ha! 807 00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:05,913 The imposter. 808 00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,582 So, you think you can steal my ship? 809 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,333 Gopher? 810 00:36:09,417 --> 00:36:10,418 What? 811 00:36:10,501 --> 00:36:10,918 I mean-- 812 00:36:11,002 --> 00:36:13,880 I mean, captain. 813 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:15,089 Uh, look, why, uh-- 814 00:36:15,172 --> 00:36:25,266 why don't-- why don't we talk this over? 815 00:36:25,349 --> 00:36:26,058 Don't touch! 816 00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:27,685 Never touch! 817 00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:29,729 What makes you think that you could 818 00:36:29,812 --> 00:36:31,105 be the captain of anything? 819 00:36:31,188 --> 00:36:32,023 How dare you talk to me like-- what? 820 00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:34,275 I mean-- I mean, you're right, sir. 821 00:36:34,358 --> 00:36:35,484 Yes, you're absolutely right. 822 00:36:35,568 --> 00:36:38,321 But i-- I thought you'd be the kind of captain of such 823 00:36:38,404 --> 00:36:40,781 a stature that you would like to discuss things 824 00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:43,784 and-- and-- and work them out. 825 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:45,077 There's nothing to discuss. 826 00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:47,288 It's a question of mutiny, pure and simple, 827 00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:50,374 and it just won't wash! 828 00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:51,250 No one is going to hurt you. 829 00:36:51,334 --> 00:36:53,210 Everything's going to be all right. 830 00:36:53,294 --> 00:36:53,711 Trust us. - Be cool. 831 00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:55,546 I'm cool. 832 00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:57,924 We just want to have a little chat. 833 00:36:58,007 --> 00:36:59,467 Yeah, we just want to talk. 834 00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:00,176 Yeah, uh, don't worry, folks. 835 00:37:00,259 --> 00:37:02,053 It's just a little game we play. 836 00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:03,471 It's called catch the captain. 837 00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:05,139 It's a tradition of the sea. 838 00:37:05,222 --> 00:37:06,807 Oh, catch the captain is your game then, is it? 839 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:07,975 Yeah. 840 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:12,355 In that case, you'll never take me alive. 841 00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:20,154 Oh my god. 842 00:37:20,237 --> 00:37:20,821 Man overboard! 843 00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:23,741 Man overboard! 844 00:37:23,824 --> 00:37:26,160 We know there's a man overboard. 845 00:37:26,243 --> 00:37:27,161 Throw the line! 846 00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,417 She's still there. 847 00:37:36,045 --> 00:37:38,130 You know she's not gonna let us out 848 00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:40,132 of here till we shake hands. 849 00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:42,468 Look, I understand how you feel about Linda. 850 00:37:42,551 --> 00:37:46,305 I mean, if she was my sister, I'd try to protect her, too. 851 00:37:46,389 --> 00:37:47,890 I just wanted something better for her 852 00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:49,016 than to fall in love with some guy that-- 853 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,353 that's famous for chasing women. 854 00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:54,188 Come on. 855 00:37:54,271 --> 00:37:56,857 What's the real problem? 856 00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:59,360 Look, I got no problem with you. 857 00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:01,362 I just want better for her than to get involved 858 00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:03,864 with a wrestler like me. 859 00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:06,033 No offense, Thomas, but I don't plan on doing 860 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:07,493 this the rest of my life. 861 00:38:07,576 --> 00:38:09,662 Soon I'll have enough saved up to do exactly 862 00:38:09,745 --> 00:38:11,956 what I've always wanted to do-- 863 00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:13,958 get a little house in New Hampshire 864 00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:14,667 and open up a sporting goods store. 865 00:38:14,750 --> 00:38:16,877 Really? 866 00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:20,256 If you need any advice, I just got my real estate license. 867 00:38:20,339 --> 00:38:23,384 Well, you know, we are doing pretty well. 868 00:38:23,467 --> 00:38:26,012 Maybe we ought to shake hands and get out of here 869 00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:27,805 before we're both dehydrated. 870 00:38:33,602 --> 00:38:34,937 Linda, look, we're shaking. 871 00:38:38,607 --> 00:38:40,526 Judy (on intercom): Attention, flappers and gangsters, 872 00:38:40,609 --> 00:38:43,529 don't miss our roaring '20s show at the international lounge. 873 00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:53,664 You can do this, starlight. 874 00:38:53,748 --> 00:38:54,832 I can? 875 00:38:54,915 --> 00:38:56,459 Break a leg. 876 00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:59,420 That is a terrible thing to say. 877 00:38:59,503 --> 00:39:01,297 It means good luck. 878 00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:02,590 Oh. 879 00:39:02,673 --> 00:39:04,216 I'll never understand this business. 880 00:39:07,136 --> 00:39:07,928 Good luck. 881 00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:09,513 [Interposing voices] 882 00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:13,100 Ladies and gentlemen, the mermaids with a salute to that 883 00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:18,689 roaring decade, the '20s! 884 00:39:18,773 --> 00:39:20,191 All: (Singing) [Inaudible]. 885 00:39:25,154 --> 00:39:26,530 Oh, yeah. 886 00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:30,076 Welcome to the bungalow of the roaring '20s. 887 00:39:30,159 --> 00:39:33,370 Flappers dance [inaudible] Charleston [inaudible].. 888 00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:42,463 Riding in the rumble seat with the bees knees. 889 00:39:42,546 --> 00:39:43,172 Can't breathe. 890 00:39:43,255 --> 00:39:45,966 [Inaudible] Up to our throat. 891 00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:47,843 No one shivers in our flippers. 892 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,891 Wow. 893 00:39:53,974 --> 00:39:55,393 We're the cat's meow, and how! 894 00:39:55,476 --> 00:40:01,023 If that's not cool with you, then 23 skidoo. 895 00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:05,111 Everything is hunky dory and [inaudible].. 896 00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,696 Betty boop and [inaudible]. 897 00:40:07,780 --> 00:40:09,657 Valentino on the screen. 898 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:11,659 Model ts and [inaudible]. 899 00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:13,744 Al Capone and rin tin tin. 900 00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:17,414 We can hardly wait till '29. 901 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:23,921 All: 'Cause 1929 looks fine. 902 00:40:24,004 --> 00:40:24,755 Black bottom. 903 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,465 A new cruiser. 904 00:40:26,549 --> 00:40:28,801 You sure got a [inaudible]. 905 00:40:28,884 --> 00:40:32,763 We got their hands into a raggedy [inaudible] hot. 906 00:40:45,484 --> 00:40:49,321 We jump right in and give all a [inaudible].. 907 00:40:58,914 --> 00:41:00,291 All: Boo boopie doop. 908 00:41:03,294 --> 00:41:04,170 Bo doggie-o. 909 00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:05,713 Black bottom a new cruiser. 910 00:41:05,796 --> 00:41:08,799 When you spot 'em, you go with 'em and, 911 00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:12,761 do that black, black bottom. 912 00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:16,307 Do that black, black bottom. 913 00:41:16,390 --> 00:41:19,643 Do that black, black bottom all the day long. 914 00:41:31,697 --> 00:41:35,201 Down on wall street, things are looking fine, 915 00:41:35,284 --> 00:41:44,168 and we just can't wait till 1929! 916 00:41:44,251 --> 00:41:44,752 Woo! 917 00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:49,673 [Applause] 918 00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:50,716 [Interposing voices] 919 00:41:50,799 --> 00:41:54,053 [Cheering] 920 00:42:01,143 --> 00:42:03,229 Who threw me in the bay? 921 00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:04,438 As soon as I find that out and tell the captain, 922 00:42:04,521 --> 00:42:06,982 somebody is gonna be in a lot of trouble. 923 00:42:07,066 --> 00:42:08,234 Don't you think you're the captain? 924 00:42:08,317 --> 00:42:08,943 No, I don't. Why? 925 00:42:09,026 --> 00:42:09,902 Why would I think that? Why? 926 00:42:09,985 --> 00:42:10,236 Gopher? 927 00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,612 What? 928 00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:12,780 We need to talk. 929 00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:13,656 Yes, sir, right away. 930 00:42:13,739 --> 00:42:14,865 But you better change first. 931 00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:16,116 I don't want you dripping on my carpet. 932 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,493 Yes, sir. 933 00:42:17,576 --> 00:42:18,577 Who threw me in the bay? - That's all I want to know. 934 00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:19,703 Well, it's a long-- 935 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:20,120 it's a long story. 936 00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:20,704 All right. 937 00:42:25,209 --> 00:42:27,628 Judy (on intercom): We're now leaving lovely acapulco. 938 00:42:27,711 --> 00:42:30,798 We hope you've enjoyed your stay as much as we have. 939 00:42:30,881 --> 00:42:32,132 Our next stop is Los Angeles. 940 00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:32,967 Buenas noches. 941 00:42:41,642 --> 00:42:43,143 Oh, what a cruise. 942 00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:46,146 One of our crew members literally jumped overboard. 943 00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:47,481 We just picked him up. 944 00:42:47,564 --> 00:42:49,984 I mean, it's a miracle we saw him down 945 00:42:50,067 --> 00:42:51,151 there at night in the dark sea. 946 00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,279 He can't even swim. 947 00:42:53,362 --> 00:42:54,530 He missed the dock by that much. 948 00:42:54,613 --> 00:42:57,408 I mean, it's just incredible he wasn't hurt. 949 00:42:57,491 --> 00:43:00,869 Did you ever have kids, doc? 950 00:43:00,953 --> 00:43:03,497 Ok, we'll talk about what you want to talk about. 951 00:43:03,580 --> 00:43:05,833 No, I never had any of my own. 952 00:43:05,916 --> 00:43:08,627 I like to think I still might someday. 953 00:43:08,711 --> 00:43:10,212 I never wanted any. 954 00:43:10,296 --> 00:43:13,048 But your books? 955 00:43:13,132 --> 00:43:14,091 My books-- 956 00:43:14,174 --> 00:43:16,302 I only give them problems I can solve, doc. 957 00:43:16,385 --> 00:43:18,512 That way, if I make a mistake, nobody gets hurt. 958 00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:21,598 But in real life, if a father makes a mistake, 959 00:43:21,682 --> 00:43:23,600 it's the kid who pays. 960 00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:24,643 If only perfect people had children, 961 00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:29,732 the human race would die out very quickly. 962 00:43:29,815 --> 00:43:32,234 Difficult decision to make, isn't it, doc? 963 00:43:32,318 --> 00:43:33,527 Of course it is. 964 00:43:33,610 --> 00:43:37,865 Being responsible for another person is frightening prospect, 965 00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:41,410 but you can't let fear stand in the way of your shot 966 00:43:41,493 --> 00:43:43,662 at happiness. 967 00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:45,664 Now can we talk about what I want to talk about? 968 00:43:50,919 --> 00:43:52,838 Well, I'm ready to turn in. 969 00:43:52,921 --> 00:43:54,715 How about you, kid? 970 00:43:54,798 --> 00:43:55,758 [Knocking] 971 00:44:04,141 --> 00:44:06,101 Hi. 972 00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:07,061 Hi. 973 00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:08,020 Are you alone? 974 00:44:08,103 --> 00:44:10,898 I thought I heard someone. 975 00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:11,565 I'm not alone. 976 00:44:11,648 --> 00:44:13,067 I was talking to my baby. 977 00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:16,904 How is he or she? 978 00:44:16,987 --> 00:44:19,073 Fine. 979 00:44:19,156 --> 00:44:21,492 May I come in? 980 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:34,755 I've, uh, been working on my new book. 981 00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:37,758 I, uh, just can't seem to lick one little plot problem, 982 00:44:37,841 --> 00:44:39,968 and sometimes it helps if I tell the story to somebody else. 983 00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:42,221 Why me? 984 00:44:42,304 --> 00:44:43,680 Oh, you're kidding. 985 00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:46,266 Your criticism of "the runaway frog" showed real insight. 986 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:50,270 I'm listening. 987 00:44:50,354 --> 00:44:52,606 Ok. 988 00:44:52,689 --> 00:44:54,316 Once upon a time, there was this guy-- 989 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:54,942 a guy? 990 00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:55,776 Not a pony or a frog? 991 00:44:55,859 --> 00:44:56,860 I'm trying to grow as a writer. 992 00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:04,618 So anyway, this guy was sort of dashing in his own way, 993 00:45:04,701 --> 00:45:06,620 but he wasn't perfect. 994 00:45:06,703 --> 00:45:09,998 More importantly, he wasn't expecting 995 00:45:10,082 --> 00:45:12,835 to meet the woman of his dreams, fall in love, 996 00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:16,922 and become a prospective father all in one fell swoop. 997 00:45:17,005 --> 00:45:18,632 He was a little frightened. 998 00:45:18,715 --> 00:45:19,967 Who isn't? 999 00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:23,137 Bear with me, please, because this is a work in progress, 1000 00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:24,221 all right? 1001 00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:30,602 So this guy loves this woman, and he just 1002 00:45:30,686 --> 00:45:32,813 wants to get a fresh start and take 1003 00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:34,648 it one little step at a time. 1004 00:45:34,731 --> 00:45:36,316 How-- how does that-- how does that sound so far? 1005 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,026 Does it make sense? 1006 00:45:38,110 --> 00:45:38,777 This guy and this woman-- 1007 00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:41,196 do they live happily ever after? 1008 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:46,160 Absolutely. 1009 00:45:46,243 --> 00:45:48,454 So what do you think? 1010 00:45:48,537 --> 00:45:49,830 I think it's a bestseller. 1011 00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:18,358 Hey, hulk hogan. 1012 00:46:18,442 --> 00:46:20,402 Hey, well, me and the mangler do hereby 1013 00:46:20,486 --> 00:46:22,529 challenge you to a tag team match with you 1014 00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:25,741 and somebody equally as ugly. 1015 00:46:25,824 --> 00:46:26,950 You know, you got to be kidding, little dude man. 1016 00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:29,786 I already busted you and your sister up all by myself. 1017 00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:32,706 I got a lot of top contenders to worry about, 1018 00:46:32,789 --> 00:46:34,208 and I don't have time to play games with you two clowns. 1019 00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,043 Yeah? 1020 00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:37,085 Yeah, but this time we'll be ready, 1021 00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:38,253 and you'll be eating canvas. 1022 00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:39,713 You heard it here, wrestling fans. 1023 00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:42,382 The rematch of the century on awn, the all wrestling network. 1024 00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:43,550 Hulk? 1025 00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:44,927 Well, you know, I can't believe this, man. 1026 00:46:45,010 --> 00:46:46,887 I came here for a little r&r. I didn't 1027 00:46:46,970 --> 00:46:49,056 want to hear nothing about this wrestling stuff, 1028 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:50,098 and you know something? 1029 00:46:50,182 --> 00:46:51,725 You guys don't even look like athletes to me. 1030 00:46:51,808 --> 00:46:54,353 I don't see any muscles, and you know I don't see any brains, 1031 00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:55,854 but if you keep jumping up in my face, 1032 00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:58,315 man, I just might take you out there in that combat zone 1033 00:46:58,398 --> 00:47:01,360 and show you what reality is all about. 1034 00:47:01,443 --> 00:47:03,153 Judy: Thank you [inaudible]. 1035 00:47:03,237 --> 00:47:06,073 Well, cousin, I guess I owe you one after all. 1036 00:47:06,156 --> 00:47:07,407 You know, it's all because of you 1037 00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:10,202 that I am becoming a husband and a father at the same time. 1038 00:47:10,285 --> 00:47:11,453 Mm-hm. 1039 00:47:11,537 --> 00:47:13,080 I may make you a character in my next book. 1040 00:47:13,163 --> 00:47:14,039 - Oh? - Mm-hm. 1041 00:47:14,122 --> 00:47:16,917 Any objections to being a panda bear? 1042 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,961 Could you make it a slim panda? 1043 00:47:19,044 --> 00:47:20,170 Sure. 1044 00:47:20,254 --> 00:47:22,756 Uh, Judy, there is one more little thing 1045 00:47:22,839 --> 00:47:24,258 I need you to do for me. 1046 00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:25,342 What's that? 1047 00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:28,762 Explain all this to the family. 1048 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,430 Bye, thank you. 1049 00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:31,348 Thanks, Judy. 1050 00:47:31,431 --> 00:47:33,058 Good luck. 1051 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,273 I can't tell you how terrible I feel about this whole thing, 1052 00:47:39,356 --> 00:47:41,191 captain, really. 1053 00:47:41,275 --> 00:47:42,276 Are you sure that I am the captain? 1054 00:47:42,359 --> 00:47:43,277 Oh, absolutely. 1055 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,028 Absolutely. 1056 00:47:45,112 --> 00:47:46,196 No doubt about it. 1057 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,615 Did I make a fool out of myself on this or what? 1058 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:50,617 Do you want the truth, or do you want to remain friends? 1059 00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:53,287 Gopher, I want you to know that i'm 1060 00:47:53,370 --> 00:47:55,956 not holding you responsible for any of your actions. 1061 00:47:56,039 --> 00:47:56,665 Thank you, sir. 1062 00:47:56,748 --> 00:47:58,875 Appreciate that. 1063 00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:00,252 But can you honestly say that things 1064 00:48:00,335 --> 00:48:03,714 didn't run just a teeny bit better when I was the captain? 1065 00:48:03,797 --> 00:48:05,966 Don't make me sorry that we fished you out of the bay. 1066 00:48:17,811 --> 00:48:22,274 [Theme music]