1 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:14,597 ♪ Love...♪ 2 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,766 ♪ Exciting and new ♪ 3 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,520 ♪ come aboard ♪ 4 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:26,234 ♪ we're expecting you ♪ 5 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:30,572 ♪ and love...♪ 6 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:33,116 ♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪ 7 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,453 ♪ let it flow ♪ 8 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:42,625 ♪ it floats back to you ♪ 9 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:46,296 ♪ the love boat ♪ 10 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:51,092 ♪ soon will be making another run ♪ 11 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:54,429 ♪ the love boat ♪ 12 00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:58,933 ♪ promises something for everyone ♪ 13 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:05,523 ♪ set a course for adventure your mind on a new romance ♪ 14 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:10,987 ♪ and love ♪ 15 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:15,033 ♪ won't hurt anymore ♪ 16 00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:18,828 ♪ it's an open smile ♪ 17 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:27,712 ♪ on a friendly shore yes, love ♪ 18 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:33,426 ♪ welcome aboard, it's love ♪ 19 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:14,217 What can I say gopher, I love this ship. 20 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,468 Me too. 21 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,763 But if Julie asks me once more if her parents got here yet, 22 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,722 I'm gonna jump over the side. 23 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:20,682 Ahhh.... 24 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:21,349 Gopher? 25 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,809 Did my parents get here yet? 26 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:25,520 Try not to make too big a splash. 27 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,188 Not yet, Julie. 28 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,565 Well, will you keep your eye out for me, please? 29 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:28,982 You can't miss them. 30 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,233 My father's.... 31 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,194 Ahh...distinguished and your mom looks more like your sister? 32 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:33,945 Yeah. 33 00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,864 I'm sorry. I'm boring you guys. 34 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:36,573 Gopher: Hey, no. 35 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,407 We're kidding. 36 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,075 They sound great. 37 00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:42,203 Two people who still hold hands after thirty years of marriage. 38 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:45,206 Julie: Now you sure you know what they look like? 39 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,207 Yeah. 40 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,417 Bye. 41 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,757 I'm Patricia selden. 42 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,218 Holy cow! 43 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,428 Excuse me. 44 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:02,181 I think you should know that the cow is sacred to the hindus. 45 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:08,730 And reference to cows in this context could be considered offensive to some people. 46 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,773 I...i didn't mean anything. 47 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:14,777 It's important that we be precise in what we say. 48 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,739 Ah, so, miss selden, you're sharing a cabin on the fiesta deck. 49 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,282 That's f one-thirty-three. 50 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,408 Thank you... 51 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:21,451 Thank you. 52 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,621 Phew....what a prude. 53 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,205 Somebody ought to warn her cabin-mate. 54 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,417 Well, if you want to be the bearer of bad tidings... 55 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:33,463 Her cabin-mate is some poor woman named Marion atkins. 56 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,797 I'm Marion atkins. 57 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,633 Well, hello, Mr. Atkins. 58 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:37,258 Yes. 59 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,635 You're on the fiesta deck. 60 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,428 Cabin f one-thirty-three. 61 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,305 Can I get somebody to take my luggage to my room? 62 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:42,889 Certainly. 63 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,140 Just ask any steward. 64 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,183 Oh, steward.... 65 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,477 Ah, no, sir, that's captain stubing. 66 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,146 Oh, captain, I'm glad we've met. 67 00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:51,856 Allow me to favor you with one of my pamphlets. 68 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,024 Oh... 69 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:55,276 "Make life the business of living." 70 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,820 Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? 71 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,657 I'm sorry, but I don't have time to stop and think now. 72 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,116 I have to sail the ship. 73 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,620 Thank you, sir. 74 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,997 Do you think the...The captain would allow me to hand out some 75 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,500 of my pamphlets aboard ship? 76 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,835 Well... 77 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:16,547 "Idle hands make no gloves..." Ah, no, sir I don't think he'd mind. 78 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:17,882 But here, I'm sure you would like this one back. 79 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:18,549 No, that's all right. 80 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,718 I've got two suitcases full. 81 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,470 Oh... 82 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,347 Ah, hey...Isn't this great. 83 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,056 Big deal. 84 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:25,890 It's a boat. 85 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,684 Ah, come on. Look at the size of it. 86 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,185 So it's a big boat. 87 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,187 Why do we have to go on this old boat, anyway? 88 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,230 Rosemary, dear... 89 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,232 Mom.... 90 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,358 Okay... 91 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,527 Rocky. 92 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,238 Look, the team can get along without you for one little game. 93 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,656 Little game?! 94 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:44,701 That's like calling Donny osmond a little singer. 95 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,203 Look, honey, may...Maybe it's a good idea for the team to play without you. 96 00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:51,040 I mean, what would happen if they...Had to get along without you for a long time? 97 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,583 Well, why would they have to? 98 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,752 I'm gonna play baseball for the rest of my life. 99 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,546 Move it or lose it!..... 100 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,172 Ooh, I'm sorry. 101 00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,382 You okay? 102 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,341 Rocky: Yeah, I'm fine, but you're gonna kill yourself if 103 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,885 you don't get a little front-side control. 104 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:03,928 I'm sorry. 105 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:04,887 Are you being a pain in the neck? 106 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,764 Oh, don't worry. He's just fine. 107 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,765 Aah, thank you. 108 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,058 Can you do a wheelie? 109 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,059 Uh-uh. 110 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,310 A cinch. 111 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,409 Not bad. 112 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,244 Thanks. 113 00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:29,203 Come on!... 114 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,917 Well...those two are really hitting it off. 115 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:35,918 Normie's thirteen. 116 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,462 How old is your son? 117 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,506 Our son is a daughter. 118 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:47,597 Oh, have my parents.... 119 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,017 We're just going out to check. 120 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,101 Mom! 121 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,603 Dad!... 122 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:57,648 Daddy! 123 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,942 Oh... 124 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,487 Mom and dad, this is gopher and doc. 125 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:03,404 Hi. 126 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,906 Bill: How are you? 127 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,949 Julie is planning to make this the best vacation you two have ever had. 128 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,284 Mhmm! 129 00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,119 Male voice: Miss McCoy to the promenade deck, please. 130 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,121 Well, if I ever get to see you. 131 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,664 Well, I'm glad you're here. 132 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,874 Martha: Bye. 133 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:15,750 We'll show them to your cabin. 134 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:16,626 Right. 135 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:17,668 This way. 136 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,295 Julie says you've been married for thirty years. 137 00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:20,797 You sure don't look it. 138 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,469 The sooner we get this over with the better. 139 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,138 You're right. I can't keep up this charade any longer. 140 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:51,202 Pat: Thank you for not smoking... 141 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,833 "Dear cabin-mate... 142 00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:00,837 Since I arrived first, I took the Liberty of assigning the top 143 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,883 two drawers and the left side of the closet to myself. 144 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:10,805 I generally bathe at six A.M....I hope this will not disturb you. 145 00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,849 Signed, your cabin-mate. 146 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,016 P.s. 147 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,269 Thank you for not smoking."... 148 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:25,444 "P.p.s...or littering." 149 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,672 Marion: Sorry 150 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,258 here...here... 151 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,187 Thank you. 152 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:08,446 "P.p.s...or littering." Now he's my kind of roomie. 153 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,585 Rocky: I can do wheelies on a bike. 154 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,587 Normie: I can do them on motorcycles. 155 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,088 You've driven a motorcycle? 156 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,299 Millions of times. 157 00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:30,426 Well, I've driven my dad's car. 158 00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:33,554 Well, I've driven a pick-up. 159 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,891 Well, I've driven a...A cement mixer. 160 00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:38,309 You have not. 161 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,436 Well, I could if I wanted to. 162 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,738 When do you think we should tell her? 163 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,448 Oh, I don't know. 164 00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:53,324 Certainly not now. 165 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,867 She's having too much fun. 166 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:01,249 You really think she'll react that badly to the idea of moving? 167 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:04,126 She's never been out of Denver, rod. 168 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,963 Oh, I think there'll be a tear or two. 169 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:10,174 I'm gonna cry a few myself. 170 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:14,804 I mean it's not easy leaving everyone you know... 171 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,557 But then kids make friends so easily. 172 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:26,565 Hey...you will, too. 173 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,572 I already have my best friend. 174 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,671 I think this booklet is just wonderful. 175 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,215 Thank you for giving it to me. 176 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,675 Oh, it was my pleasure... 177 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,010 Miss... 178 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,511 I'm sorry, I don't know your name. 179 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:56,971 Miss seldon 180 00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,723 miss seldon. 181 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,641 I'm Mr. Atkins. 182 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,977 Pat: Oh, Mr. Atkins... 183 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,312 You're the author. 184 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,272 Well... 185 00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:09,150 I must say I'm a bit surprised... 186 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:12,236 Finding a man of your calling on a cruise ship. 187 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,574 Well, I always like to go where the biggest challenge is. 188 00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:19,535 You know that last year on my vacation I distributed four 189 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:23,873 suitcases of these pamphlets...In Las Vegas. 190 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:28,377 One cannot help but admire your commitment. 191 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,715 I was thrown out of four different gambling casinos. 192 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:33,966 A martyr. 193 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,889 I like that in a man. 194 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,432 Thank you. 195 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,354 Miss seldon... 196 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:49,732 I hope you don't think I'm being too forward, but would you like 197 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,068 to go to the lounge with me and join me in a nice, 198 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:57,740 tall, cool...Lemonade? 199 00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,951 Well...why not... 200 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,209 I'm here to live it up... 201 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,220 Mr. Atkins, you amaze me. 202 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:21,639 You always say the right things. 203 00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,766 Well, not when confronted with a 204 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:26,060 member of the fairer sex, darn it. 205 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,269 Oh, I'm sorry. 206 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,397 I didn't mean to say darn it. 207 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,565 You shouldn't have said...Sex. 208 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,319 You're absolutely right. 209 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,446 Please accept my apology. 210 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,615 Oh, no need to apologize. 211 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:42,243 Even the best of us can stumble. 212 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,286 How true. 213 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:48,624 Fortunately, there are people like you around to keep us from falling. 214 00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:54,296 If only the people at the network could understand that... 215 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,507 They sent me on this cruise... 216 00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,512 I'm a television censor. 217 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,597 Television censor... 218 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:08,269 What an admirable profession. 219 00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:11,772 And this cruise is your reward for a job well done? 220 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,691 Quite the contrary. 221 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:19,864 They think I'm narrow-minded and that I should experience more of life... 222 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:22,158 They're wrong, of course. 223 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:26,287 I am an extremely enlightened woman. 224 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:31,709 And actually, I think of myself as being quite hep...Or is it hip? 225 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:35,379 Miss seldon...? 226 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,006 Uh-huh? 227 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:40,050 Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? 228 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,469 Oh... 229 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:45,222 I'd be delighted...But I have to change first. 230 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,558 I'll walk you to your cabin. 231 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:54,523 Pat: Mr. Atkins....Not on our first date. 232 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,150 Of course. 233 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:05,409 It's really nice to finally meet you, captain. 234 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:08,204 We've heard so many fine things about you from Julie. 235 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,040 Well, you should be very proud of your daughter, Mrs. McCoy. 236 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,043 What she does on this ship is extremely important, and she 237 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,212 does it better than anyone I've ever sailed with. 238 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,380 Well, thank you, sir. 239 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,884 Well, if you hold that over my head to get a raise, I'll deny I ever said it. 240 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,344 Yes, sir. 241 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:27,223 Well, your daughter says you have a thirtieth anniversary coming up. 242 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,184 So why don't we celebrate it here on the ship...Our last night out? 243 00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:31,393 Bill: Oh... 244 00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:31,393 Julie: Oh, a party. 245 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,853 I think that's a super idea. 246 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:33,562 See? 247 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,898 I told you I had a great boss. 248 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,734 If you ever hold that over my head, I'll deny it. 249 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:39,735 P.A. voice: Miss McCoy to the lido deck. 250 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,863 Miss McCoy to the lido deck, please. 251 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,865 Well, maybe I'll get to see you at the party. 252 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,450 Bye bye. 253 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,040 Well, that's some young lady you raised. 254 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,708 My compliments... 255 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,882 Is something wrong? 256 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,009 Well, we have something to tell Julie and... 257 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:08,806 It just couldn't be said on the phone...Or in a letter. 258 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,809 Martha: This isn't exactly a pleasure cruise. 259 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,106 We came to tell her we're getting a divorce. 260 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,293 Rocky! 261 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,211 Come on, honey. 262 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,629 Thanks I didn't miss it. 263 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,130 Linda: Hi. 264 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:41,964 Arlene: Hi there. 265 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:42,798 Rod: Hi. 266 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:42,798 Linda: Great dinner, huh? 267 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,216 The best. 268 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,553 Master Martin here was getting a little antsy, so I decided to move on. 269 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,517 Can I be excused, mom? 270 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:54,643 Can we go and hang out? 271 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:55,728 Ah, sure. 272 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,522 Just be kind to your fellow passengers, please. 273 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,024 She means don't bug anybody... 274 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:01,191 Mm, normie! 275 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:04,820 Come on. 276 00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:05,446 Sit down. 277 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,948 Oh, thank you. 278 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:11,327 Rocky's wearing her formal jeans for this occasion. 279 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,329 At our house dress is a dirty word. 280 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:16,957 Oh, at our place a tie is verboten... 281 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,793 Don't worry, she'll be wearing dresses soon enough. 282 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:24,256 If I remember correctly, it happens at the same time you get interested in boys. 283 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,594 She's still interested in boys. 284 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,018 Hi. 285 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,061 How's your dinner? 286 00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,646 Bill: Fine. 287 00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,646 Julie: Good. 288 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,522 But I sure wish we could catch you sitting down. 289 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:40,939 Okay. 290 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,233 I'm all yours. 291 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,318 Julie.... 292 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,319 Oh, gopher... 293 00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,695 Gopher, come on and join us. 294 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,321 Okay? 295 00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:48,072 Oh. 296 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:48,822 Thank you. 297 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,032 Thank you very much. 298 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,533 Good evening. 299 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,451 Having a nice cruise? 300 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:52,951 Bill: Fine. 301 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:52,951 Martha: Oh, yes. Thank you. 302 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,036 Gopher: Terrific. 303 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:57,748 Gopher, I see that miss seldon has made a conquest. 304 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,673 Mmm...who's the unlucky guy? 305 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,216 The one who's handing out all those pamphlets. 306 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,718 Marion atkins. 307 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:10,886 Marion is a guy? 308 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:11,470 Julie: Uh-huh. 309 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,554 I checked him in myself. 310 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,264 Cabin f-one-thirty-three. 311 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,517 Oh, boy...Somebody goofed. 312 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,643 Why? 313 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:22,022 Mr. Atkins and miss seldon are sharing the same cabin. 314 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,738 I haven't heard any complaints. 315 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,408 Well, I guess you just can't judge a pamphlet by its cover. 316 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:41,875 Ms. Seldon, would you allow me to make a rather bold suggestion? 317 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,919 Why, yes, of course. 318 00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,922 I think that we should celebrate this evening with something 319 00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:52,720 special....like a...A bottle of cold duck. 320 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,221 Cold duck? 321 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,557 But, Mr. Atkins, you never told me that you.... 322 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,059 I...i don't usually... 323 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,105 Let's make it half a bottle. 324 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,947 Hold it... 325 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,824 I smell danger, starsky. 326 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:14,908 I read ya, hutch. 327 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,786 If that bomb goes off it'll blow up half the city. 328 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,288 We have to defuse it. 329 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,290 Well, no sense both of us risking our lives. 330 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:21,999 You wait here. 331 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,250 I'll handle this. 332 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:26,003 Don't you play hero with me, buddy boy. 333 00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,921 You know there are ghosts on this ship... 334 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,090 Ghosts of dead sailors...Eaten by sharks. 335 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,175 Cut it out. 336 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,177 Ever see a sailor once a shark gets done with him? 337 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,636 It's not a pretty sight. 338 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,889 His head's bit in half...His arms are all mangled... 339 00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:37,681 Cut it out. 340 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,267 And his guts are dripping out..... 341 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:43,937 I'm the ghost of the mangled sailor and you've had it... 342 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,940 I'm gonna take you and throw you to the sharks...And they're 343 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:50,903 gonna mangle you...And they're gonna bite your head off... 344 00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,300 Well? 345 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,677 Julie, it's too crowded here. 346 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,013 Let's go down to our cabin. 347 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,389 Well, a little later. Okay? 348 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,642 First I want to see you two dance together. 349 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:22,810 All right? 350 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:23,852 Come on. 351 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,395 Come on! 352 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,334 And now ladies and gentlemen, here's a very special song for a 353 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:48,836 very special couple... 354 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,004 Love is a many splendored thing... 355 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:14,278 Well mom... 356 00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,697 Dad, what's the matter? 357 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,491 I asked them to play your favorite song and you walk off the dance floor. 358 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:27,708 Julie, dear, we have to talk to you and...We just can't do it here. 359 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,586 Let's not drag this out anymore... 360 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,796 Your mother and I are getting a divorce. 361 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,091 Wh...what? 362 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:42,097 You're not serious? 363 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,224 I'm afraid we are. 364 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,770 No! 365 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,439 No!!! 366 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:09,458 Arlene...you're sure you're not sorry we're making this move? 367 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,084 Am I giving that impression? 368 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,836 You seem a little down tonight. 369 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,840 Oh, rod...You know I... 370 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:19,051 I'd go anywhere in the world with you. 371 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,769 Why? 372 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:32,189 Can you just tell me why? 373 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:39,321 Look, honey...When...When you left home and there were no more children in the house, for 374 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:44,326 the first time in twenty years your father and I were alone together. 375 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:48,664 We...we found out that we didn't have as much in common as we thought. 376 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:52,292 But, daddy, you love each other. 377 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:57,381 We're comfortable with each other, but... 378 00:20:57,464 --> 00:21:03,720 Well, we...We felt that there was something more out there...For both of us. 379 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:10,352 And whatever that something is...If...If we don't find it now, it's gonna be gone forever. 380 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,020 Can you understand that? 381 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,855 No! 382 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,649 No, I can't understand that. 383 00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,943 I'll never understand that! 384 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,545 Captain: Julie... 385 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,463 Well, captain, i'm... 386 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,048 I'm glad I ran into you. 387 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,051 I have to talk to you about that party for my parents. 388 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,555 I know... 389 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,516 I know all about it... 390 00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:58,859 Look, if there's anything I can do. 391 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,902 You're doing it... 392 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:11,997 Mr. Atkins, do you think we've had too much cold duck? 393 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,999 What cold duck? 394 00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:38,315 Oh... 395 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:39,983 Oh, my goodness... 396 00:22:41,818 --> 00:22:43,570 I think I'd better turn in. 397 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:45,447 I think it's a wise course. 398 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:47,741 I'm gonna take a walk... 399 00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:50,035 That's the trouble with cold duck. 400 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,120 Afterwards you have to take a cold shower. 401 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,966 I don't know how the fonz can do it. 402 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,301 Do what? 403 00:23:06,384 --> 00:23:08,970 You know...Kissing. 404 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,847 The fonz does it? 405 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,182 Well, he's always talking about it. 406 00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:14,976 He must have done it. 407 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,478 You ever? 408 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:19,272 Are you weird? 409 00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:23,151 If the fonz does it, maybe it's worth...You know...Checkin' out. 410 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,277 You mean us? 411 00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:26,655 You're bananas. 412 00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,824 If it's awful...We can stop. 413 00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:30,951 And if not... 414 00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:33,411 What's the matter, you chicken? 415 00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:35,122 No way. 416 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,999 Okay...you want to start? 417 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,001 Well, what's wrong with you starting? 418 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,713 Oh, brother... 419 00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:45,215 Okay, we'll do it together. 420 00:23:45,298 --> 00:23:47,175 Count to three. 421 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:55,684 One...two...two and a half...Two and three quarters... 422 00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:56,935 Three!... 423 00:24:07,904 --> 00:24:10,157 It was a gross-out, wasn't it? 424 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,284 A super colossal gross-out... 425 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:16,079 Well, it's getting late. 426 00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:17,914 I better go find my folks. 427 00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:33,388 And here I was telling you guys they had the perfect marriage. 428 00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:35,515 Any chance they'll change their minds? 429 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,767 I really don't think so. 430 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:44,524 I'm sure a lot of soul searching went into their decision. 431 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,402 Julie, sometimes a couple starts drifting apart and the next 432 00:24:47,485 --> 00:24:50,697 thing you know...They've drifted so far, they can't stop 433 00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:52,073 themselves. 434 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:55,118 Julie, you can't live their lives for them. 435 00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:58,580 You're just gonna have to go along with whatever they want. 436 00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:01,541 And if that's a divorce...Maybe you should just try to make 437 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,084 things easier for them. 438 00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:04,586 You mean help them? 439 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:06,880 It's a tough time for them, Julie. 440 00:25:08,715 --> 00:25:11,468 Maybe you're right... 441 00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:14,679 Maybe I should help them... 442 00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:17,098 Yeah, thanks guys... 443 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:20,143 You've always been there when I needed you... 444 00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:23,563 Thanks. 445 00:25:24,731 --> 00:25:26,107 Nice goin', guys. 446 00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:27,984 We did it again. 447 00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,027 Did what? 448 00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,286 Hey, mom and dad... 449 00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:41,331 Oh, listen I'm really sorry about the way I was earlier. 450 00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:43,416 I was angry and upset and I'm sorry. 451 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:47,170 If a divorce is what you two want, then that's what you should have. 452 00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,133 I knew you'd understand. 453 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:55,679 Now, in the meantime, it's pretty silly for the two of you to have to share a cabin. 454 00:25:55,762 --> 00:25:57,806 So mom, you come stay with me. 455 00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:58,640 Oh, no, really... 456 00:25:58,723 --> 00:26:00,141 No, it's no imposition at all. Really. 457 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:03,853 I'll have a steward come get your bags and dad, we'll see in the morning. 458 00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:05,146 Come on, mom... 459 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,690 Come on. 460 00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:03,038 Hello in there! 461 00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:04,539 I... I'm your cabin-mate... 462 00:27:04,622 --> 00:27:09,169 We...we must have missed each other last night. 463 00:27:09,252 --> 00:27:11,963 I must have been sleeping... 464 00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:12,589 Hello? 465 00:27:12,672 --> 00:27:14,090 Can you hear me? 466 00:27:14,174 --> 00:27:16,217 I... I'd like to introduce myself. 467 00:27:35,653 --> 00:27:36,404 Good morning. 468 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,239 Oh....good morning, gopher. 469 00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,408 Have you seen Mr. Atkins this morning? 470 00:27:41,785 --> 00:27:43,244 Wasn't he in the cabin with you? 471 00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,038 I beg your pardon. 472 00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:48,666 What kind of a person do you think I am?... 473 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,044 He must still be sleeping. 474 00:27:51,127 --> 00:27:55,256 Well, if you should see him, will you please tell him that I will be on the lido deck? 475 00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:57,926 Sure... 476 00:27:58,009 --> 00:28:00,095 But if he's still sleeping... 477 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:04,933 I mean if you two are....If he's in....Um.... 478 00:28:08,311 --> 00:28:10,563 Good morning, mom. 479 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,273 How did you sleep last night? 480 00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:14,275 Not very well. 481 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,443 The first time I remember 482 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,320 sleeping in a bed without your dad. 483 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:18,613 Oh, well, you're gonna have to get used to that one. 484 00:28:18,696 --> 00:28:20,281 Now, come on up and at 'em. 485 00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:24,577 It's a beautiful day and I want to take you up to meet some of our swinging singles. 486 00:28:24,661 --> 00:28:26,621 Oh, now, Julie, don't do this. 487 00:28:26,704 --> 00:28:27,789 Well, what's holding you back, mom. 488 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:29,624 You're a beautiful woman. 489 00:28:29,707 --> 00:28:32,335 You gotta get out there and mix and mingle. 490 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:33,211 Julie, please. 491 00:28:33,294 --> 00:28:35,130 Mom, this is what I do for a living. 492 00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:38,007 I make sure that everybody's having a good time. 493 00:28:38,091 --> 00:28:39,968 You said you felt there was more out there. 494 00:28:40,051 --> 00:28:42,262 Now go on out and grab some of it. 495 00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:08,496 Coming up on deck? 496 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:09,289 In a while, mom. 497 00:29:09,372 --> 00:29:10,457 Okay. 498 00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:11,958 Mom? 499 00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:12,959 Hm-hm? 500 00:29:13,042 --> 00:29:14,627 Am I weird looking? 501 00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:16,087 No way... 502 00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:23,470 And you're a heck of a lot prettier than any pitcher in the majors. 503 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:39,569 "The scent of her perfume wafted to him. 504 00:29:39,652 --> 00:29:43,364 Her diaphanous gown clung to her in the breeze. 505 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:46,659 Clive was overcome by her beauty. 506 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:53,041 He pulled her close and kissed her...And kissed her...And 507 00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:54,834 kissed her..." 508 00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:06,095 Mom, you've wasted an entire morning just sitting here alone. 509 00:30:06,179 --> 00:30:09,182 You've gotta get out there and meet and greet. 510 00:30:09,265 --> 00:30:12,268 Julie, I haven't done anything like that for years. 511 00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:15,438 Well, you've got to get rid of your inhibitions... 512 00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:16,856 Isaac...come on... 513 00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:22,737 Isaac, my mother needs something to...Get her off the launching pad. 514 00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:25,740 Isaac: I have just the thing. 515 00:30:25,823 --> 00:30:29,077 I call this my bloody Arnold Schwarzenegger. 516 00:30:31,037 --> 00:30:31,913 What's in it? 517 00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:32,997 I don't know. 518 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:35,917 But I do know that it's stronger than a bloody Mary. 519 00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,255 Go ahead, mom. 520 00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:41,631 Drink it. 521 00:30:41,714 --> 00:30:46,928 Ahaaa....this must be the single lady you've been telling me about. 522 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:47,929 You weren't kidding. 523 00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:49,264 She is a knockout. 524 00:30:52,308 --> 00:30:53,184 Martha... 525 00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:53,768 Joel... 526 00:30:53,851 --> 00:30:54,060 Joel... 527 00:30:54,143 --> 00:30:55,103 Martha. 528 00:30:55,186 --> 00:30:55,770 How do you do? 529 00:30:55,853 --> 00:30:58,064 Two's company, three's a drag. 530 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:04,904 Honey, do I have plans for us... 531 00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:11,452 A couple of drinks...A stroll around the deck and then...We're not kids anymore... 532 00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:13,246 My cabin or yours? 533 00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:20,503 Hi. 534 00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:21,796 Boy, are you in luck. 535 00:31:21,879 --> 00:31:24,507 Those three ladies are free as birds... 536 00:31:24,591 --> 00:31:25,425 Come on. 537 00:31:25,508 --> 00:31:27,802 Ladies, I'd like you all to meet bill. 538 00:31:27,885 --> 00:31:28,803 All: Oh, hello... 539 00:31:27,885 --> 00:31:28,803 Bill: Hello. 540 00:31:28,886 --> 00:31:30,763 And may the best woman win. 541 00:31:30,847 --> 00:31:33,808 Well, bill...Are you travelling alone? 542 00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:37,812 No...well, yes...Yes in a way. 543 00:31:37,895 --> 00:31:40,440 You see bill's almost single. 544 00:31:40,523 --> 00:31:47,822 Louise: Oh...Oh, well, the doctors says there's a lot of that going around. 545 00:31:47,905 --> 00:31:52,493 I got divorced myself last year...For the third time.... 546 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:56,039 Ah well, easy come...Easy go. 547 00:32:04,213 --> 00:32:05,006 Hey, mom! 548 00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:06,966 You want to see a terrific card trick? 549 00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:08,343 You won't even see me put the aces up my sleeve. 550 00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:09,052 I hope not. 551 00:32:09,135 --> 00:32:11,387 You don't have a shirt on.... 552 00:32:11,471 --> 00:32:12,347 Where's rocky? 553 00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,349 I don't know. I haven't seen her all day. 554 00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:15,224 Arlene..... 555 00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:16,643 Hm?... 556 00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:24,942 Darling, don't stare. 557 00:32:25,026 --> 00:32:27,028 You'll just make her feel self-conscious. 558 00:32:28,988 --> 00:32:31,324 Honey, you look beautiful. 559 00:32:31,407 --> 00:32:31,741 I do? 560 00:32:31,824 --> 00:32:33,826 Oh, you sure do. 561 00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:36,162 What's that stink? 562 00:32:36,245 --> 00:32:39,332 I dunno. 563 00:32:39,415 --> 00:32:41,042 It's you. 564 00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:43,211 I happen to be wearing perfume. 565 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:44,545 What'd you do? Dump a gallon on yourself? 566 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:46,381 Normie, that's really rude. 567 00:32:46,464 --> 00:32:48,883 Why don't you and rocky go on and play? 568 00:32:48,966 --> 00:32:49,884 Normie: Okay. 569 00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:51,177 Wanna go swimming? 570 00:32:51,260 --> 00:32:54,222 Probably stink up the whole pool. 571 00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:56,557 I better not. I might get my hair wet. 572 00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:57,517 So what? 573 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,687 Well, it took a long time to get it this way. 574 00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,397 Normie: Swimming's not gonna hurt that hair. 575 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:03,898 Normie! 576 00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:05,733 Okay. 577 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,528 You don't want to swim, you want to go skateboarding? 578 00:33:08,611 --> 00:33:09,862 Not in this dress. 579 00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:11,572 It's too diaphanous. 580 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:15,576 Well, how about a race? I'll beat you to the bow... 581 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,578 Not in these shoes. 582 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:18,913 That's right. 583 00:33:18,996 --> 00:33:20,289 Well, take the dumb shoes off. 584 00:33:20,373 --> 00:33:23,418 They go with the dress. 585 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:24,877 Rocky, what happened to you? 586 00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:26,963 You used to be fun. 587 00:33:27,046 --> 00:33:28,214 Now you're a drag. 588 00:33:28,297 --> 00:33:30,591 A great big smelly drag. 589 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,969 All right, normie, I want you to apologize right this minute. 590 00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:42,687 Arlene: Honey, I... 591 00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:44,564 I think I'd better handle this one. 592 00:33:52,822 --> 00:33:55,950 They sure don't leave much to the imagination do they? 593 00:33:56,033 --> 00:33:58,745 Well, of course, if you wore a bikini, I'm sure that your 594 00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:02,123 natural purity would shine through despite your nakedness. 595 00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:03,458 Oh, I'm sorry. 596 00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:04,959 I didn't mean to say naked... 597 00:34:05,042 --> 00:34:06,043 Ah look, I said it again. 598 00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:07,295 Oh, that's all right. 599 00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:11,758 My prurient interest was not aroused... 600 00:34:11,841 --> 00:34:15,970 Do you really think I'd look good in a bikini? 601 00:34:16,053 --> 00:34:19,515 Frankly, I think you'd look good in anything. 602 00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:24,312 Ms. Seldon, last night... On the deck... 603 00:34:24,395 --> 00:34:27,857 I came very near to kissing you. 604 00:34:27,940 --> 00:34:30,610 I have a confession to make. 605 00:34:30,693 --> 00:34:33,362 I wouldn't have minded if you had. 606 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:40,536 We must be strong. 607 00:34:40,620 --> 00:34:42,246 I'll need your help. 608 00:34:54,091 --> 00:35:00,014 Oh, rocky...You poor kid. 609 00:35:00,097 --> 00:35:01,808 Being a girl is such a pain. 610 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:07,021 Well, normie didn't mean to say those things. 611 00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:12,360 He...he just expected his old buddy....Not a glamorous young woman. 612 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:15,404 I'm not glamorous. 613 00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:18,115 I look like a freak... 614 00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:21,369 Boy, I can't win... 615 00:35:21,452 --> 00:35:26,374 If I do the things I like to do, everybody yells at me to dress like a girl. 616 00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:29,544 And when I dress like a girl, I'm an object of ridicule. 617 00:35:29,627 --> 00:35:30,962 Oh... 618 00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:40,513 We're really proud of you, rocky...And the things you do so well. 619 00:35:40,596 --> 00:35:44,600 But sometimes we just forget to tell you... 620 00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:48,479 And we think you're beautiful, too... 621 00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:53,025 That's why we try to dress you up and put you on display. 622 00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:58,197 But what you've got, rocky...The important qualities... 623 00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:01,284 You don't depend on what you look like... 624 00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:09,917 Now you be yourself...Say what you think...And learn to be good at the things you like... 625 00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:11,586 Don't ever change, honey... 626 00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:19,552 No matter who tries...Including your mother and father. 627 00:36:19,635 --> 00:36:21,762 Thanks, mom... 628 00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:26,726 But I didn't put the dress on for you. 629 00:36:26,809 --> 00:36:28,978 You didn't? 630 00:36:29,061 --> 00:36:32,148 I...i put it on for normie. 631 00:36:34,692 --> 00:36:36,569 Oh.... 632 00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:44,452 Honey, there's a young man outside to see you. 633 00:36:44,535 --> 00:36:47,330 There is? 634 00:36:44,535 --> 00:36:47,330 Yeah. 635 00:36:47,413 --> 00:36:48,164 Okay... 636 00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:51,959 Wait a minute.... 637 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:53,628 Burn this. 638 00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:00,760 Rock... 639 00:37:00,843 --> 00:37:02,219 Hi. 640 00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:08,976 You know in El Paso I play for the bluebirds. 641 00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:10,811 And our pitcher he stinks. 642 00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:12,438 So what? 643 00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:16,651 So your dad tells me you have a great curve ball...Which our team could really use. 644 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:17,902 You're brilliant, normie. 645 00:37:17,985 --> 00:37:23,824 What am I supposed to do, drop in from Denver once a week? 646 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:26,202 Your dad told me you're gonna move. 647 00:37:26,285 --> 00:37:27,662 What?! 648 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,830 You never told me that. 649 00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:33,334 Well, we were going to tell you this week while we were on the cruise. 650 00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:35,002 Well, I'm not moving. 651 00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:38,506 Not to some dumb old town where everybody's probably a gorp and I don't know anybody. 652 00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:39,840 El Paso's not dumb. 653 00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:41,008 How do you know? 654 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,843 I happen to live there, stupid. 655 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:44,053 Oh. 656 00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:45,179 You do? 657 00:37:45,262 --> 00:37:45,680 That's right. 658 00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:46,514 And it's not dumb. 659 00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:47,515 It's neat. 660 00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:49,350 And you'll be living two blocks away from us. 661 00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:50,810 Oh!... 662 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,312 Do they have a skateboard park? 663 00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:54,355 Uh-uh. 664 00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:55,189 Oh well... 665 00:37:55,272 --> 00:37:56,023 But they're building one next spring. 666 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:57,817 And they'll have three expert runs. 667 00:37:57,900 --> 00:37:59,068 Wow! 668 00:37:59,151 --> 00:38:01,028 And we have slalom competitions at the parking lot after school. 669 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:02,363 That's great. 670 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:05,074 School's all right, but you gotta be careful for Mr. snelgrove. 671 00:38:05,157 --> 00:38:08,828 If you don't do your homework, he makes a jerk out of you in front of the whole school... 672 00:38:08,911 --> 00:38:09,829 We call him sniffy. 673 00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:10,871 Sniffy snelgrove. 674 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:13,040 'Cause he's always making these sniffling noises. 675 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,166 He goes like this... 676 00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:17,253 "Class...would you please....." 677 00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:23,551 Mom, when will we be moving? 678 00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:24,969 Not for three months, dear. 679 00:38:25,052 --> 00:38:26,554 Oh. 680 00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:27,596 Well...you can't have everything. 681 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,682 Normie, wait for me. 682 00:38:51,328 --> 00:38:52,913 Pat: Is something bothering you? 683 00:38:52,997 --> 00:38:54,540 Yes. 684 00:38:54,623 --> 00:38:56,792 Holding you like this. 685 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,878 It's fun. 686 00:38:58,961 --> 00:39:01,964 Must fun always be wrong? 687 00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:05,760 Well...maybe not with you... 688 00:39:05,843 --> 00:39:08,554 Ms. Seldon, last night I had an opportunity 689 00:39:08,637 --> 00:39:09,972 to kiss you and I didn't take it. 690 00:39:10,056 --> 00:39:14,101 And then this afternoon, I had another opportunity and I didn't take it. 691 00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:17,730 Sometimes opportunity knocks three times... 692 00:39:26,072 --> 00:39:27,323 Shall we go to your cabin? 693 00:39:27,406 --> 00:39:28,783 I have a roommate. 694 00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:30,284 How 'bout your cabin? 695 00:39:30,367 --> 00:39:31,952 I have a roommate, too. 696 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,662 Oh, shucks. 697 00:39:33,746 --> 00:39:37,833 Mr. Atkins...Do you realize what we're saying? 698 00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:39,460 I...i am totally to blame. 699 00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:41,587 No, no, I led you astray. 700 00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:43,756 No, I went willingly...Willingly. 701 00:39:43,839 --> 00:39:47,134 How strong the mind, how weak the flesh. 702 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:48,928 We must never see each other again. 703 00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:52,431 Thank you. 704 00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:54,266 Thank you for your strength. 705 00:39:58,604 --> 00:40:00,648 It was nice knowing you, Mr. Atkins. 706 00:40:03,234 --> 00:40:04,443 Bye, miss seldon. 707 00:40:05,611 --> 00:40:09,156 Miss seldon...You all right? 708 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:11,992 To tell you the truth, no. 709 00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:14,161 I think I'm getting a little cold. 710 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:17,331 Well, you looked just fine on the dance floor. 711 00:40:17,414 --> 00:40:19,458 That was before the music stopped. 712 00:40:19,542 --> 00:40:22,294 Oh, the band'll be back in a couple of minutes. 713 00:40:22,378 --> 00:40:25,506 Only Mr. Atkins can bring back the music. 714 00:40:25,589 --> 00:40:32,346 Ah, now I think I can complete my diagnosis. 715 00:40:32,429 --> 00:40:34,056 You're love sick. 716 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,517 What do you prescribe? 717 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,271 Well, I usually prescribe an ocean voyage. 718 00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:07,131 Mom, why did you turn down that nice Joel Kirby? 719 00:41:07,214 --> 00:41:09,592 I thought I had a great match going between you two. 720 00:41:09,675 --> 00:41:11,760 I just don't feel like dancing. 721 00:41:11,844 --> 00:41:13,554 Oh, you mean with him. 722 00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:14,972 Well, who would you like to dance with? 723 00:41:15,055 --> 00:41:18,934 You name any man in the room, and I'll get him over here for you... 724 00:41:23,272 --> 00:41:25,232 Mom, I thought you had this all figured out. 725 00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:27,902 This is what being single is all about... 726 00:41:29,361 --> 00:41:31,864 Well, isn't it what you'd expected? 727 00:41:31,947 --> 00:41:34,742 I guess I didn't know what to expect. 728 00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:37,411 I just wanted some freedom. 729 00:41:37,494 --> 00:41:38,204 Freedom? 730 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,538 Freedom to do what? 731 00:41:39,622 --> 00:41:40,706 I don't know, Julie. 732 00:41:40,789 --> 00:41:41,916 I don't know. 733 00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:42,917 Excuse me. 734 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,210 Would you like to dance? 735 00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:45,419 Yes, I'd love to. 736 00:42:06,398 --> 00:42:11,237 Well, Billy baby, are you going to call me when you're a free man? 737 00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:21,914 I'm not sure I want to be a free man. 738 00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:43,936 How are you doing? 739 00:42:44,019 --> 00:42:45,688 Terrible. 740 00:42:45,771 --> 00:42:47,314 How 'bout you? 741 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:49,817 Worse... 742 00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:52,319 This being single is too much like work. 743 00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:53,821 It sure is. 744 00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:59,660 You know, I've been thinking...Maybe the effort 745 00:42:59,743 --> 00:43:02,371 would be better spent on a relationship that's already 746 00:43:02,454 --> 00:43:05,082 lasted almost thirty years... 747 00:43:09,962 --> 00:43:13,007 That's my round about way of saying... 748 00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:16,343 I love you. 749 00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:19,054 Bill, you can say it anyway you want. 750 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,030 You know something? 751 00:43:36,113 --> 00:43:38,198 You're great. 752 00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:40,492 And I'll never deny I said it. 753 00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:42,536 Thank you. 754 00:44:09,563 --> 00:44:10,189 Oh... 755 00:44:10,272 --> 00:44:10,939 Oh... 756 00:44:11,023 --> 00:44:11,899 Mr. Atkins! 757 00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:12,316 Oooh... 758 00:44:12,399 --> 00:44:14,568 Miss seldon. 759 00:44:14,651 --> 00:44:16,779 Mr. Atkins, what is the meaning of this? 760 00:44:16,862 --> 00:44:19,323 Miss seldon, I thought that we agreed to resist temptation. 761 00:44:19,406 --> 00:44:22,576 Mr. Atkins, I think you should go back to your own cabin. 762 00:44:22,659 --> 00:44:25,245 Miss seldon...It's just that I am in my own cabin. 763 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:26,038 Don't be silly. 764 00:44:26,121 --> 00:44:27,247 This is my cabin. 765 00:44:27,331 --> 00:44:28,082 Oh, no. 766 00:44:28,165 --> 00:44:29,750 Look, miss seldon, here is my key... 767 00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:31,251 Here's your key...Look see... 768 00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:36,215 Pat/marion: F-one-three--three..... 769 00:44:36,298 --> 00:44:38,384 They made a mistake. 770 00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:40,719 We've been roommates all this time. 771 00:44:40,803 --> 00:44:42,638 Oh, what must people think? 772 00:44:42,721 --> 00:44:43,931 Well, they probably think we're.... 773 00:44:44,014 --> 00:44:46,266 But we're not. 774 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,267 We could. 775 00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:48,268 What? 776 00:44:48,352 --> 00:44:49,603 We could. 777 00:44:49,686 --> 00:44:51,939 Miss seldon... 778 00:44:52,022 --> 00:44:56,985 Miss seldon... Will you marry me? 779 00:44:57,069 --> 00:44:59,113 Oh, yes...yes...yes...yes...yes... 780 00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:00,823 Oh! 781 00:45:00,906 --> 00:45:04,868 As soon...As soon as we dock...We'll find a justice of the peace. 782 00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:07,746 Oh...oh, but what about tonight? 783 00:45:07,830 --> 00:45:08,997 Tonight? 784 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,582 Tonight?... 785 00:45:10,666 --> 00:45:12,584 Tonight?!... 786 00:45:15,212 --> 00:45:16,630 We better wait. 787 00:45:16,713 --> 00:45:19,133 Yes...yes, let's. 788 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:24,972 Marion/pat: Let's not. 789 00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:28,600 Pat: Holy cow!! 790 00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:29,643 Marion: What? 791 00:45:29,726 --> 00:45:31,395 Holy cow!! 792 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,027 Announcer: "The love boat" will contiue in a moment. 793 00:45:50,914 --> 00:45:53,459 Well, I guess we better round up the munchkins, or we'll never make that plane. 794 00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:54,960 Right... 795 00:45:55,043 --> 00:45:56,211 I'll write you every day. 796 00:45:56,295 --> 00:45:57,671 I'll write twice a day. 797 00:45:57,754 --> 00:45:59,298 Don't go crazy... 798 00:45:59,381 --> 00:46:00,966 Listen, at school we have this dance. 799 00:46:01,049 --> 00:46:02,050 You want to go? 800 00:46:02,134 --> 00:46:04,052 Sure. I guess. 801 00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:05,471 They make you wear a dress. 802 00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:07,306 Yeah. 803 00:46:07,389 --> 00:46:09,183 Wear that...Diaphanous one. 804 00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:10,225 Okay? 805 00:46:10,309 --> 00:46:11,768 Okay. 806 00:46:11,852 --> 00:46:13,020 Linda: Norman, it's time to go. 807 00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:14,062 Okay? 808 00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:14,855 Goodbye, honey. 809 00:46:14,938 --> 00:46:16,064 Bye bye. 810 00:46:17,816 --> 00:46:18,859 Well, bye. 811 00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:20,110 Bye. 812 00:46:21,403 --> 00:46:22,863 It keeps getting less and less yucky. 813 00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:24,031 I know. 814 00:46:27,451 --> 00:46:28,994 Shall we go home, rocky? 815 00:46:29,077 --> 00:46:30,454 I guess so. 816 00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:02,277 Mr. Atkins, wasn't it you who wrote... 817 00:47:02,361 --> 00:47:06,406 "Public kissing is a public nuisance?" 818 00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:10,285 What the heck ever made you write a thing like that? 819 00:47:22,548 --> 00:47:26,260 I can't speak for your mother, but I knew what you were up to all along, you sneaky kid. 820 00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:27,928 Well, that's me. 821 00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:31,682 I guess, we both were hoping you'd do something to stop us. 822 00:47:31,765 --> 00:47:33,100 Well, now wait. 823 00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:35,227 You two didn't get back together because of me. 824 00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:37,271 Oh, no... 825 00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:45,237 We both just wanted some romance in our lives...And we found it here...Together. 826 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,156 You know your dad is still a pretty exciting man. 827 00:47:49,866 --> 00:47:51,618 So long, Billy boy... 828 00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:54,288 Well, maybe next time. 829 00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:57,791 See? 830 00:47:57,875 --> 00:48:00,919 I'm not the only one who thinks so. 831 00:48:01,003 --> 00:48:02,129 Bye bye, mom... 832 00:48:02,212 --> 00:48:04,047 And thank you... 833 00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:07,509 Daddy...thank you. 834 00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:09,219 Thanks for everything, kiddo. 835 00:48:18,228 --> 00:48:19,646 How 'bout that. 836 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:22,441 Still holding hands after thirty years. 837 00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:24,318 Thank you, sir. 838 00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:26,236 Welcome.