1
00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:04,003
♪

2
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:18,560
♪ Love, exciting and new ♪

3
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:27,235
♪ come aboard,
we're expecting you ♪

4
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:34,784
♪ love, life's sweetest reward ♪

5
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:43,460
♪ let it flow,
it floats back to you ♪

6
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:51,301
♪ love boat soon will
be making another run ♪

7
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:58,975
♪ the love boat promises
something for everyone ♪

8
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:05,106
♪ set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance ♪

9
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:15,116
♪ love won't hurt anymore ♪

10
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:23,166
♪ it's an open smile
on a friendly shore ♪

11
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:28,004
♪ yes, love ♪

12
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:33,885
♪ welcome aboard, it's love ♪

13
00:01:58,117 --> 00:02:00,203
Julie: Enjoy your cruise.

14
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,413
Girl dummy: Try to stay sober.

15
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:06,876
Julie: Ah, that's just part of
the entertainment this trip.

16
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,753
Isaac: Hey, Patty, how are you
two doing?

17
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,547
Patty: Oh, we couldn't be
better, Isaac.

18
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:16,845
Dummy: Speak for yourself. I got
this funny feeling inside me.

19
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,264
Patty: It's my hand, dummy.

20
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,395
Julie: Hey, where's your
husband? Aren't you two still a
team?

21
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:29,774
Dummy: They have separate
bedrooms. His is in New York.
Hers is in New Jersey.

22
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,276
Julie: I'm sorry.

23
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:35,071
Dummy: We only took this gig
with him because it was booked a
year in advance.

24
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,949
But it's the last time we work
together.

25
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,919
Boy dummy: See, I told you not
to worry. I told you they'd be
here.

26
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:56,593
Girl dummy: Uh-oh. I think i'm
going to have an attack of
poison oak.

27
00:02:56,676 --> 00:03:01,347
P.a. voice: Captain stubing to
the bridge please. Captain
stubing to the bridge.

28
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,438
Doc: Very nice.

29
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,274
Gopher: Oh, thank you. I have
this new barber...

30
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,111
Doc: Hi, there.

31
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,112
Gopher: Oh.

32
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:19,115
Judy: Hi. I'm Judy Barrett.

33
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:21,826
And this is my fiancé, Gary
Gage.

34
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,453
Doc: Oh...

35
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,038
Gopher: Welcome aboard.

36
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:28,625
Judy: Thanks. Has my sister,
joanie, checked in yet?

37
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,500
Gopher: Not yet, no.

38
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,669
Doc: Is your sister as beautiful
as you?

39
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:32,962
Judy: Exactly.

40
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,297
Doc: Really?

41
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,258
Gary: And her fiancé is almost
as cute as I am.

42
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,346
Doc: How nice for all of you.

43
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,818
Gopher: Ah, your sister still
hasn't checked in yet.

44
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,197
Joanie: She must have. She left
the house an hour before I did.

45
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,993
Ted: Don't worry about it. We'll
find her. Just check me and my
fiancée in.

46
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,204
Doc: But aren't you engaged
to...

47
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,622
Judy: There they are.

48
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:08,706
Gopher: Oh, the gang's all here.

49
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,999
Judy: Joanie!

50
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,127
Joanie: Judy!

51
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:16,005
Captain: Why you must be the
happy foursome.

52
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,883
Captain: Well, I'm delighted to
tell you I just received
confirmation.

53
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,969
All arrangements have been
completed for your

54
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,471
double wedding in romantic
puerto vallarta.

55
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:27,016
Gopher: Ah, congratulations
joanie, Judy.

56
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,185
Doc: No, no, no. That's Judy.

57
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,353
Gopher: How can you be so sure?

58
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,523
Doc: Well, it's easy. You're
always wrong.

59
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:37,276
Captain: Gopher, remind me to
give you a class in deductive
reasoning.

60
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,072
Joanie is with Ted, and Judy is
with Gary.

61
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,365
Congratulations.

62
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:43,157
Gary: Thank you.

63
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,702
Captain: Care to join me,
doctor?

64
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,621
Ashley: It isn't my fault you
forgot to bring your good jeans.

65
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,207
Courtney: It is too. You ironed
them and hung 'em in the stupid
closet.

66
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,001
Jack: All right. Come on now,
girls.

67
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,545
Ashley: No one cares what a
twelve year old looks like
anyway.

68
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,713
Courtney: Yes, they do!

69
00:04:56,796 --> 00:05:01,217
Jack: Girls, you're driving your
old man up the wall, okay?

70
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,635
Courtney: I'm gonna tell dad
what you did.

71
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,261
Ashley: You better not.

72
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,178
Courtney: She kissed a boy.

73
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,723
Ashley: I did not. You're a
filthy snitch.

74
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:10,226
Jack: Come on now, kids. For
cryin' out loud, cut it out.

75
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,520
Ashley: She blames me for
everything.

76
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:16,190
Courtney: She made me forget my
good jeans and she kissed a boy.

77
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,609
Julie: Hold it.

78
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:22,071
Now you can't blame your sister
for something you forgot.

79
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,783
And kissing's all right, as long
as you don't do it with just
anybody.

80
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,244
Now shake hands and don't let me
see you fighting again, or i'm
gonna

81
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:32,248
feed you to my giant man-eating
guppy.

82
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:36,085
Shake hands.

83
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,921
Well, welcome aboard the
Princess, ladies.

84
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,049
Jack: You're terrific.

85
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,761
Julie: Oh, thank you.

86
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:49,724
Uh, my own adolescence lasted
quite a long time and, I
understand girls.

87
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:53,269
Jack: Well, thanks a lot. I
mean, you really are terrific.

88
00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:55,605
Julie: Well, you must be an old
adolescent yourself.

89
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,482
Jack: Oh yes, that's for sure.

90
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,901
Well...see you later.

91
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:01,402
Julie: Uh-huh.

92
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,445
Have a nice cruise.

93
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:02,779
Jack: Thank you.

94
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,113
Girls: Bye.

95
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,199
Julie: Bye.

96
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,123
Doc: Nice lookin' family, huh?

97
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,333
Julie: Yes, isn't he.

98
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,009
Isaac: Don't worry. It's easy.

99
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,804
The lady with the hat gets the
drink with the parasol.

100
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:13,933
Now, I may mix my drinks, but I
never mix up my customers.

101
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,855
Captain: Mr. Ashton, you're in
luck.

102
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:24,193
I just called puerto vallarta as
you suggested, and booked the
mariachi band for the wedding.

103
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,237
Ted: Fantastic! All right.

104
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,783
Captain: And it isn't just any
mariachi band. Los compadres De
la playa.

105
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,828
Twenty-five pieces. Trumpets,
violins, the works.

106
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:34,537
Ted: Arriba!

107
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,998
Judy: Ole!

108
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:39,709
Joanie: Ted! It's my wedding,
too.

109
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,252
Ted: Well, wh-what's wrong?

110
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,045
Joanie: I mean, couldn't you
consult me?

111
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,047
Ted: Well, I thought you'd like
it.

112
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,925
Gary: I was thinking of
something a little more quiet
and romantic, too.

113
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,385
Like, say one guitar.

114
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,679
Joanie: That would be perfect.

115
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,390
Captain: Well, I'm sorry. I'll
just cancel the band.

116
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:57,727
Ted: Are you kidding? Los
compadres?

117
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:01,939
You guys are gonna love 'em.
They're fantastic!

118
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:07,528
[Singing and dancing]

119
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:12,533
Hey!

120
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,743
Oh, thank you.

121
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:16,078
Isaac: Ah, here we go.

122
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:20,708
Two gin and tonics and a drink
with the parasol for the lady in
the...

123
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:23,711
Captain: Isaac, don't tell me
you're still confused.

124
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:28,633
Now this is Ted. This is Gary
and...These are joanie and Judy.

125
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,189
Patty: You've got the oddest
texture hair.

126
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:45,107
Girl dummy: It's a wig.

127
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,986
Don't you feel dumb talking to a
piece of wood?

128
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:52,740
Patty: Now that you mention it.

129
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,450
Boy dummy: Oh, it's your wife.

130
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:55,993
Michael: I recognize her.

131
00:08:56,077 --> 00:09:00,957
Girl dummy: I thought he was
supposed to switch the tickets.
Get separate cabins.

132
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,418
Michael: I guess nobody told 'em
that uh, every cabin was booked.

133
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:07,964
Boy dummy: And I'm not sleeping
in a lifeboat. It could've been
my sister.

134
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,840
Michael: Well, we'll just have
to stay here and make the best
of it.

135
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,928
Girl dummy: How can you make the
best of something that's the
worst?

136
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,973
Patty: If they can stand it, I
guess we can too.

137
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:20,685
Girl dummy: Speak for yourself.
I'd rather have termites.

138
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:25,481
Michael: Well, what do you say
we get something to eat?

139
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:29,026
Boy dummy: If anyone cares to
join us, we'll be in the dining
room.

140
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,653
Michael: Right.

141
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:40,037
Gopher: Good evening.

142
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,122
Isaac: Good evening.

143
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:44,041
Doc: Good evening.....

144
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,835
Who's the new girl?

145
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,004
Isaac: I don't know, but she
sure is stuck-up.

146
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,047
Doc: Yeah.

147
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,508
Gopher: You boys figure she's
spoken for?

148
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:56,220
Isaac: Oh, no, no, no, no...But
I think she'd like to be.

149
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,889
Doc: Ah, that explains it.

150
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,892
Look how casually she's looking
around the room.

151
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:05,855
Gopher: Indifferent yet
conspicuous.

152
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,231
Isaac: Mmm, very well put.

153
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,858
Gopher: Thank you.

154
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:17,700
Julie: Hi, Ted. Hi, Gary.

155
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:18,117
Ted: Hi.

156
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:18,993
Gary: Hi, Julie.

157
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,330
Julie: Hi...Guys.

158
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,551
Oh, excuse me.

159
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:38,763
Yes? Well, hi. Where's your
sparring partner?

160
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,097
Courtney: Oh, over there with
daddy.

161
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,390
Julie: Oh.

162
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,060
Courtney: He sent me over to
invite you to have dinner with
us.

163
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:44,894
Julie: Oh, he did?

164
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:45,978
Courtney: Yup.

165
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:46,937
Julie: Well, I think I'd love
to.

166
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:47,688
Courtney: Come on.

167
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:48,898
Julie: Thanks.

168
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,316
Oh, hello.

169
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,448
Hi.

170
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,784
Jack: Hi.

171
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:03,037
Julie: Hey, neat impression.
Dick Van dyke or Chevy chase?

172
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,455
Jack: Just klutzy me.

173
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:05,706
Julie: Oh.

174
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,250
Well, thank you for the
invitation.

175
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,132
Ashley: That's his good suit.

176
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,675
Courtney: New shirt.

177
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,260
Ashley: Shaved twice.

178
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,388
Courtney: Shined his shoes.

179
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,723
Ashley: I wonder why.

180
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:26,102
We're gonna get some dessert
from the buffet and then go out
on deck.

181
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,103
Come on, Courtney.

182
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,647
Courtney: Bye, dad.

183
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:34,110
Julie: Dessert. You didn't
invite me to dinner at all, did
you? You've already eaten.

184
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,238
Jack: Well, I-I certainly would
have invited you if...You'd just
gotten here a little earlier.

185
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,239
Julie: Oh.

186
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:38,864
Jack: Have a seat.

187
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,907
Julie: Thank you.

188
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,159
Jack: By the way...Jack
chenault.

189
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,160
Julie: Julie McCoy.

190
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,286
Jack: How do you do?

191
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,955
Julie: Terrific. How do you do?

192
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:46,288
Jack: Terrific.

193
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,790
Julie: Oh.

194
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,125
Jack: I really would have
invited you earlier.

195
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,461
I wanted to, but...I didn't have
the nerve.

196
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,923
I'm glad my daughters have no
shame.

197
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:58,259
While I'm rolling, I've got
another confession to make.

198
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:04,014
I did shave twice and shine my
shoes and put on my good shirt
and my new suit 'cause...

199
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,975
I hoped I'd run into you.

200
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,644
Julie: Really?

201
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:11,272
Well, then I have something to
tell you.

202
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:16,277
The last time I wore this dress
I thought that Robert redford
was gonna be on board.

203
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,695
I put it on tonight because I...

204
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,822
Jack: Robert redford's on board?

205
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:23,451
Julie: I thought I'd run into
you.

206
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:24,994
Jack: No kidding?

207
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,330
Julie: No kidding.

208
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,834
Jack: Well, that's terrific.

209
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,002
Just...

210
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,337
Julie: Terrific.

211
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,515
Michael: Oh, excuse me. Could
you get me a waiter, please? I
uh, have to do a show.

212
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:50,227
Doc: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sure
your waiter thought you were
waiting for someone.

213
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,855
Michael: Well I am, but I don't
think the kitchen stays open
that late.

214
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,411
Gopher: Where have you been?

215
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,998
Julie: I...I had a long dessert.

216
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:12,875
Gopher: I had to introduce the
act myself.

217
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,378
Julie: You did? Well good work,
gopher. Carry on.

218
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:20,674
Girl dummy: I hate to shock you,
but I didn't go to dinner. I was
in the cabin.

219
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,009
Boy dummy: Is that right?

220
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,844
Patty: Yeah.

221
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,429
Michael: How come?

222
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:30,100
Patty: I'd rather eat with a
dummy than a dummy.

223
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,896
Boy dummy: Is that a knock?

224
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:37,233
Michael: Well, if it's not, it's
a very good try.

225
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:41,153
Boy dummy: Listen, I ordered
pickled herring especially for
you.

226
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:47,284
Girl dummy: Pickled herring? If
I were there, I wouldn't eat it
with her mouth.

227
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:51,497
Boy dummy: What do you mean, if
you were there? Didn't I kiss
you at dinner?

228
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:55,084
Girl dummy: I was in the cabin.

229
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,254
Boy dummy: Don't tell me you
were in the cabin. We kissed.

230
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:03,926
Girl dummy: Well, you must have
awfully long lips to stretch all
the way down to the cabin.

231
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:07,513
Boy dummy: Well, if I didn't
kiss you, who did I kiss?

232
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:11,976
Girl dummy: Maybe it was a
chair.

233
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:15,604
Boy dummy: You're right. It did
seem more passionate than usual.

234
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,315
Girl dummy: I hope you remember
which chair it was.

235
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:26,073
Because she's your date for the
rest of the cruise.

236
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:35,791
Goodnight.

237
00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:36,667
Ted: Great.

238
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,128
Captain: Terrific act.

239
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:43,465
Ted: Oh, captain, could you take
this Rose please? My fiancé's
allergic.

240
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,091
Captain: Well, of course.

241
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,050
Ted: Thanks.

242
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,762
Captain: Excuse me. It's just
part of my job.

243
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,598
Joanie: It's a good thing Judy's
not allergic.

244
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,642
It's one of the few ways you
guys can tell us apart.

245
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,979
Ted: Well, here's to the other
ways.

246
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:01,442
Gary: Uh, what other ways?

247
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:04,320
Ted: Well, that's it for me. I'm
gonna get some sleep.

248
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:05,446
Joanie: Me, too.

249
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,616
Ted: You guys are kidding. The
night is young. Let's go.

250
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,534
Joanie: Sorry, honey, i'm
bushed.

251
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,162
Judy: Oh, come on, you guys.
Don't be party poopers.

252
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,290
Joanie: Judy, you party, i'm
pooped.

253
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:20,127
Ted: Future sister-in-law, let's
show these guys some dancin'.

254
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,128
Right.

255
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:38,354
Ted: You know what? You and I
ought to be an item. We got all
the moves.

256
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,856
Judy: Oh, Gary's a heavy dancer.

257
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:43,859
I should know. He does most of
his dancing on my feet.

258
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,881
Jack: You sure you wouldn't
rather be dancing?

259
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:09,134
Julie: Hm-hm. Would you?

260
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,887
Jack: No, I, I'd rather...

261
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:14,348
Julie: What?

262
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,058
Jack: I'd rather be kissing you.

263
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,309
Julie: Oh.

264
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,561
Jack: Well, look, I'm not one of
those guys who thinks that just,

265
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,774
any girl wants to be grabbed,
especially by me.

266
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:28,070
I mean the moment has to be
right and, and the indicators
have to be there.

267
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,322
Julie: Indicators?

268
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,909
Jack: Well, sure. Oh, you...You
can tell when a girl wants to be
kissed.

269
00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:39,081
Julie: Is that so? How do you
tell?

270
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:43,752
Jack: Well, there's a certain
receptiveness you can sense.

271
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,587
Julie: Oh, I see.

272
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:51,093
Like when a girl's leaning on
you, establishing physical
contact,

273
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:55,097
putting her face very close to
yours.

274
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:59,268
Jack: Yes. Right. Along those
lines, yes.

275
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:05,733
Julie: Well, what do you do when
you get these indicators? When
you sense this receptiveness?

276
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:10,279
Jack: Well, you have to
understand I, I was married for
a long time and...

277
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,949
And I didn't go in a lot for
trying things out with new
girls, so I'm rusty.

278
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:17,995
But...the instincts are still
there.

279
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:22,458
It's like riding a bicycle. You
never really forget how to sense
this receptiveness.

280
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,795
So what you have to do is....

281
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,299
Julie: Shut up and kiss him.
How's that?

282
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:33,761
Jack: Yeah. You just have
to...Shut up.

283
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:43,145
Julie: Ah, you must have been a
helluva bicycle rider.

284
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:46,190
Jack: Ah, you better believe it.

285
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:12,758
Gary: Oh boy, fantastic.

286
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,676
You know, joanie,

287
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,305
I'm gonna get out of the city
and find a little shack on a
beach someplace.

288
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,015
Do you think Judy'd like that?

289
00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:23,685
Joanie: She'd be crazy if she
didn't.

290
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,856
Sometimes I wish I were more
like Judy. You know the life of
the party.

291
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,860
Gary: Oh, don't knock yourself.
You're a terrific person. And
I'm a lucky guy.

292
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,863
Not only do I get to marry the
one and only girl of my dreams,

293
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,199
but I get a great sister-in-law
as well.

294
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,702
Joanie: Thanks, Gary. That's a
sweet thing to say. If, if only
Ted...

295
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:45,541
Gary: Ted? Look, Ted's Ted. He's
wild and that's why we love him.

296
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,709
You're gettin' a great guy,
joanie.

297
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,211
Joanie: Yeah.

298
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,880
Captain: Ah, good evening, Gary,
Judy.

299
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,257
Joanie: Joanie.

300
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,758
Captain: Then you must be Ted.

301
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,094
Gary: Uh, Gary.

302
00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,556
Captain: Ah, I'll never get them
straight.

303
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:01,723
Goodnight, doc.

304
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:02,975
Doc: Gopher.

305
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:16,071
Michael: Why are you laughing? I
didn't say anything.

306
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:21,618
Patty: Feed them pickled
herring. Can you beat that? I
hate pickled herring.

307
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,412
Girl dummy: Yeah.

308
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:28,208
Patty: How can you remember
everything I hate and nothing I
love?

309
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,295
Boy dummy: He remembers
everything.

310
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:36,091
She loves watching old
tear-jerker movies on t.V.

311
00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:42,472
She loves eating pizza in bed.
She loves the smell of the city
after a summer rain.

312
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:46,727
She loves buying useless gadgets
from mail order catalogues.

313
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:50,814
She loves huddling close on cold
winter mornings.

314
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,941
Girl dummy: She loves you.

315
00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,821
Michael: Who said that? You or
the dummy?

316
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,574
Girl dummy: It was her.

317
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:18,342
Isaac: Nice to have a little
time to yourself sometime, isn't
it.

318
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,472
I really like your girls.

319
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:28,268
Jack: Well, Julie's not really
my girl.

320
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,354
Matter of fact, I just met her
today.

321
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:37,152
She sure is nice though.

322
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:42,991
Isaac: Ah.I said girls...Ashley,
Courtney.

323
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,326
Jack: Oh. Oh, my girls.

324
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,702
Yes.

325
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,997
Thank you. I like 'em too.

326
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:49,998
I mean, I love 'em.

327
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,876
Isaac: Yeah. They're dynamite.

328
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:57,839
I like Julie, too. I mean I
wouldn't call Julie a girl.

329
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:01,218
I mean I'd call that a...A
woman.

330
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,721
Jack: Oh, yeah, she certainly is
that, all right.

331
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,932
A very lovely woman, too.

332
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:14,356
I suppose, you two must be very
good friends by now, huh?

333
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,359
Isaac: Oh, yeah, uh, about three
years.

334
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:22,489
Jack: Uh, a girl like that, I
mean, a woman like that...

335
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:24,324
Must be a lot of guys chasing
after her.

336
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:29,079
Isaac: Phew. A whole bunch.

337
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:34,209
But there's a big difference
between chasing and catching.

338
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:40,549
Jack: Oh, sure. Well, a woman in
her position has to be very
careful.

339
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:45,846
With so many men on board on
vacation, looking to have a good
time.

340
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:51,560
Isaac: Yeah, but I...I wouldn't
worry about Julie. I mean, she's
very careful.

341
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,854
Jack: Good.

342
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:59,901
Isaac: Besides, the captain,
doc, gopher and I, we're always
there to keep an eye on her.

343
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,403
You know?

344
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,535
You're crazy about her, aren't
you?

345
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:12,497
Jack: Well, I only just met her
and I hardly...

346
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:16,626
Yeah.

347
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,420
Yes, I am.

348
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:22,174
Isaac: That one's on me. Good
luck.

349
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:56,458
Ashley: Alaska's far out. In the
summertime it never gets dark.

350
00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:59,294
You can play outside till three
o'clock in the morning.

351
00:22:59,377 --> 00:23:04,633
Courtney: And the stuff we grow
in our garden gets just huge.
Lettuce this big.

352
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:05,967
Julie: Well, maybe.

353
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:09,679
Jack: It's true. All that
sunshine. It's fantastic.

354
00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:13,850
Isaac: How would you guys like
one of my super special bloody
Marys?

355
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:20,315
Ashley: Ahh...Thanks anyway,
Isaac, but I think we'll stick
to our milk.

356
00:23:20,398 --> 00:23:23,110
Jack: I've heard about your
bloody Marys, Isaac.

357
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:26,988
It's seven-thirty in the
morning. If I have one of those
I won't make it to eight.

358
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,829
Julie: So...How 'bout the
winters?

359
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:38,291
Ashley: Oh, it's great.
Sometimes it gets to fifteen
above in the day.

360
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:41,878
Courtney: And you hook your car
into a heater every night so the
engine doesn't freeze.

361
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:47,050
Julie: Are you guys on the
chamber of commerce payroll or
something?

362
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,844
Courtney: Let's go get another
Danish.

363
00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:51,596
Julie: Another one?

364
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:57,352
They certainly are enthusiastic
about Alaska.

365
00:23:57,435 --> 00:24:00,814
Jack: I think it's you they're
enthusiastic about.

366
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:04,568
Julie: Well, I'll just have to
try to make it up there one of
these days.

367
00:24:09,072 --> 00:24:14,327
Jack: Julie, when my wife died,
i, never thought I'd say this to
another woman...

368
00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:18,540
And after knowing somebody for
one day, it's preposterous,
but...

369
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,709
But I love you.

370
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:23,545
Julie: Jack.

371
00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:25,881
Jack: I'm not some romantic kid
who doesn't know when he's in
love or not.

372
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:29,050
I...i know when I'm in love.

373
00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:31,219
Julie: Jack.

374
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,804
Jack: You know, you're not being
very cooperative.

375
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,724
When one dope says I love you,
the other dope is supposed to
say I love you, too.

376
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:38,727
Julie: I love you, too.

377
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:42,022
Jack: You do?

378
00:24:42,105 --> 00:24:45,609
Really?

379
00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:46,067
No kidding?

380
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,611
Julie: No kidding.

381
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:57,454
Ashley: Julie, Isaac said we
can't have a fifth Danish unless
you say so.

382
00:24:57,537 --> 00:25:00,248
Courtney: And please we're
growing kids.

383
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:05,545
Julie: Okay, but if you don't
finish your Danish, no ice
cream.

384
00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:08,590
Be right back.

385
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,551
Captain: Now, that makes a
pleasant picture.

386
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:15,096
You know, something Julie?
You'd make a wonderful mother.

387
00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:24,940
Patty: Michael?

388
00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:27,317
Patty: Why can't it always be
like last night?

389
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,404
Michael: Well, I guess because
sooner or later you have to get
out of bed.

390
00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:35,784
Patty: That's right. In bed you
don't have to talk.

391
00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:38,119
Michael: Did you hear that?

392
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:41,790
Boy dummy: Of course I heard it.
What do you think these things
on the side of my head are?

393
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,541
Seashells?

394
00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:46,419
Michael: I think she's
insinuating that I don't like to
talk.

395
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:49,297
Boy dummy: Is she kidding? I
can't get you to stop.

396
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:52,175
If you ask me, she's the one who
never says what's on her mind.

397
00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:53,635
Patty: Me?

398
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:55,470
Michael: Well, he said it, I
didn't.

399
00:25:55,553 --> 00:25:57,806
Boy dummy: She is hard to reach.

400
00:25:57,889 --> 00:26:00,684
Patty: Am I hard to reach? Am I?

401
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,185
Girl dummy: (Whispers)

402
00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:06,815
Boy dummy: Don't whisper. Say it
out loud.

403
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:10,527
Girl dummy: I said, why pay
attention to a log and a bump on
a log?

404
00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:16,658
Boy dummy: That's you. You
always fight back with an
insult.

405
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:19,703
Girl dummy: I have to. That's
all you understand.

406
00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:21,705
Boy dummy: Women. They're all
the same.

407
00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:25,166
Girl dummy: We are not. You just
bring out the worst in me.

408
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,627
Boy dummy: Well, there's
certainly plenty to go around.

409
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:32,340
Girl dummy: You're horrible.
Last night you were so loving
and today you're hateful.

410
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:36,886
Boy dummy: Well, you know what
they say. There's a fine line
between love and hate.

411
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:41,016
Girl dummy: That's what they
say! But I don't! Let's get out
of here.

412
00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:44,436
Patty: Whatever you say.

413
00:26:55,613 --> 00:26:57,365
Judy: Joanie?

414
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:58,533
Joanie: Yeah?

415
00:26:58,616 --> 00:27:00,160
Judy: You awake?

416
00:27:00,243 --> 00:27:02,037
Joanie: I guess so. I just said
yeah.

417
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,540
Judy: Happy wedding day.

418
00:27:05,623 --> 00:27:08,251
Joanie: Same to you.

419
00:27:10,253 --> 00:27:11,212
Judy?

420
00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:12,547
Judy: Yeah?

421
00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:15,050
Joanie: I can't go through with
it.

422
00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,968
Judy: That's just nerves.

423
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,386
Joanie: How do you know?

424
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:22,557
Judy: 'Cause I feel the same way
you do.

425
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,184
Joanie: Nerves.

426
00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,436
Judy: Nerves.

427
00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:29,064
Either that or we don't want to
get married.

428
00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:32,025
Joanie: I've got nothing against
getting married.

429
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:33,777
Judy: Me neither.

430
00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:40,075
Joanie: So how come we've got
nerves?

431
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:43,787
Judy: Probably because we're
marrying the wrong guys.

432
00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:47,665
Joanie: Ted and Gary are nice.
Who else are we gonna marry?

433
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:50,710
Judy: I mean, we've got the
wrong guys.

434
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:54,214
You should marry Gary. I should
marry Ted.

435
00:27:54,297 --> 00:27:55,590
Joanie: Yes.

436
00:27:55,673 --> 00:27:57,384
Judy: You think so, too?

437
00:27:57,467 --> 00:27:59,094
Joanie: Why didn't you say
something?

438
00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:00,929
Judy: I don't know. It's so
obvious.

439
00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:05,767
I mean, you and Gary have
everything in common the same
with me and Ted.

440
00:28:05,850 --> 00:28:09,437
Joanie: Maybe if we'd had longer
engagements we would have found
this out in time.

441
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,648
Judy: There's still time. Let's
tell the guys.

442
00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:13,942
Joanie: Are you crazy? It's our
wedding day.

443
00:28:15,735 --> 00:28:17,237
Judy: You're right.

444
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:24,786
We don't have to tell the guys.
All we have to do is switch
places and they'll never know.

445
00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:26,454
Joanie: You are crazy.

446
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:31,334
Judy: It worked all through
school, exams, the senior prom,
the school psychologist.

447
00:28:31,418 --> 00:28:33,086
Joanie: Yeah, we almost drove
him nuts.

448
00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:34,963
Judy: It'll work.

449
00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:37,715
Isn't it better than spending
your whole life with the wrong
guy?

450
00:29:00,738 --> 00:29:01,823
Doc: Nervous, fellows?

451
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:04,325
Gary: Ah, sure. You don't get
married every day, you know.

452
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:06,494
Isaac: Doc does.

453
00:29:08,746 --> 00:29:10,081
Joanie: Good luck, Judy.

454
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:13,126
Judy: Good luck, joanie. That's
the last time I'll be calling
you that.

455
00:29:13,209 --> 00:29:16,129
Julie: Hey, there they are.

456
00:29:16,212 --> 00:29:17,172
Doc: Ahh...

457
00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:18,673
[Singing]

458
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,017
What're you doing?

459
00:29:29,100 --> 00:29:33,897
Gopher: Well, I couldn't find
any rice, so I'm throwing
pistachio nuts.

460
00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:36,149
Ted: Joanie, darling, you look
beautiful.

461
00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:37,358
Joanie: I'm Judy.

462
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:45,700
Ted: Well, I'm glad we found out
now, rather than later.

463
00:29:45,783 --> 00:29:47,994
Captain: Wait. I want to take a
wedding picture.

464
00:29:48,077 --> 00:29:52,207
Doc: I've got four sets of my
own I could let you have.

465
00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:54,000
Ashley: Aren't their wedding
dresses pretty, Julie?

466
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:55,668
Julie: Oh, they sure are.

467
00:29:55,752 --> 00:30:00,131
Courtney: Bet you'd make a
beautiful bride.

468
00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:02,884
Gopher: Oh, I almost forgot.

469
00:30:05,845 --> 00:30:06,554
There you go.

470
00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:08,515
Judy: They're beautiful. Thank
you.

471
00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:12,936
Joanie: Yes, they're...Achooo.
Achoo.

472
00:30:13,019 --> 00:30:16,898
Captain: Good. Now I know who's
who. The one with the allergy is
joanie.

473
00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:20,360
Gary: No, that's Judy.

474
00:30:20,443 --> 00:30:22,946
Judy: Achoo, achoo.

475
00:30:23,029 --> 00:30:25,198
Joanie: I guess I'm just getting
a cold.

476
00:30:25,281 --> 00:30:30,453
Gary: That's good. For a minute
there I thought we had the wrong
girls.

477
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:33,414
Captain: All right, everybody.
Say cheese.

478
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:36,918
Ted: Gorgonzola.

479
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:37,877
Alright, so long.

480
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:38,545
All: Good luck.

481
00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:39,254
See you later.

482
00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:41,089
Bye.

483
00:30:50,056 --> 00:30:52,767
Boy dummy: Very funny. Very
funny.

484
00:30:52,850 --> 00:30:55,603
You sure know how to hurt a guy.

485
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:59,440
Girl dummy: Hurt you? How can
you hurt someone with a heart of
stone?

486
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:02,068
Michael: I thought you were made
out of wood?

487
00:31:02,151 --> 00:31:04,279
Isaac: They're almost real.

488
00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:05,780
Boy dummy: Almost real?

489
00:31:05,863 --> 00:31:11,619
How many guys do you know who
have someone's hand stuck
through their back?

490
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:14,122
Girl dummy: It'd be easier to
stick their hands through your
head.

491
00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,292
There's nothing between your two
ears.

492
00:31:20,253 --> 00:31:23,298
Boy dummy: Hey, how 'bout a
little kiss?

493
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,632
Girl dummy: No.

494
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,259
Boy dummy: How 'bout a little
hug?

495
00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:28,636
Girl dummy: No!

496
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,888
Boy dummy: How 'bout a little
love, huh?

497
00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:32,473
Girl dummy: No!

498
00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:36,894
Boy dummy: Well then...How 'bout
a little divorce?

499
00:31:42,108 --> 00:31:43,860
Michael: I...I think you hurt
Patty's feelings, you know.

500
00:31:43,943 --> 00:31:46,279
Divorce is nothing to joke
about.

501
00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:48,823
Girl dummy: Right. But their
marriage is.

502
00:31:48,906 --> 00:31:52,785
What difference does it make if
they get divorced anyway?

503
00:31:52,869 --> 00:31:58,207
Boy dummy: Well, it means a lot
to me. I can get into some
serious fooling around.

504
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:09,010
Michael: Sorry about my friend.
He...He doesn't think too much
before he speaks.

505
00:32:09,093 --> 00:32:13,556
Patty: It's okay. It's just a
strange way to hear that you
want a divorce.

506
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,975
I mean we never talked about it
before.

507
00:32:16,059 --> 00:32:19,145
Michael: Well, I just thought
I'd throw it in as part of the
act, you know.

508
00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:21,272
Patty: Are you kidding?

509
00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:26,027
Our whole marriage has been part
of the act. I suggest we leave
the divorce stuff in.

510
00:32:28,237 --> 00:32:29,739
Michael: What do you think of
that?

511
00:32:29,822 --> 00:32:32,408
Yeah, me too.

512
00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:36,079
Julie: I'll have the button
sewed on your sweater by dinner
and I'll give it to you then.

513
00:32:36,162 --> 00:32:37,038
Ashley: Well, we'll watch you
sew.

514
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:37,580
Julie: No.

515
00:32:37,664 --> 00:32:38,498
Courtney: Yeah, me too.

516
00:32:38,581 --> 00:32:40,708
I bet you stick yourself with
the needle.

517
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:43,878
Julie: Well, if I do, I'll show
you the hole in my finger later.

518
00:32:43,961 --> 00:32:45,713
Now off you go.

519
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:47,215
Courtney: Mmm...

520
00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:50,551
Julie: Hey, your father probably
thinks you've disowned him. I'll
see you later.

521
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:51,427
Courtney: Bye.

522
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,512
Julie: Bye.

523
00:32:52,595 --> 00:32:55,640
Isaac: Hi, mom.

524
00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:05,149
Julie: Mom.

525
00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:11,531
Julie (v.O.): Mom, the button
you sewed on my sweater came off
again.

526
00:33:11,614 --> 00:33:14,784
Mom, it's time to take me to
girl scouts.

527
00:33:14,867 --> 00:33:17,036
Mom, what's for dinner?

528
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:21,207
Mom, we don't like broccoli.

529
00:33:21,290 --> 00:33:25,044
Mom, why haven't you ironed my
jeans?

530
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:32,093
Mom, why are you so upset and
miserable?

531
00:33:34,011 --> 00:33:42,520
It's because your daddy is the
sexiest, most wonderful man I
ever met.

532
00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:45,440
And probably the best kisser in
the whole world.

533
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:54,073
The kids are great...But it's
all happening so fast.

534
00:33:56,075 --> 00:33:59,996
I'm not ready for it.

535
00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:03,332
Just too damn young to have
grown-up children.

536
00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:42,538
Julie: Hi.

537
00:34:42,622 --> 00:34:46,167
Jack: Hey, we were just about to
send out a search party. We
missed you at dinner.

538
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,335
Courtney: Did you sew on my
button?

539
00:34:47,418 --> 00:34:51,672
Julie: I sure did. See?

540
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:54,342
Jack, I'm sorry about dinner,
but something came up.

541
00:34:54,425 --> 00:34:57,345
The captain needed to see me.
Some sort of emergency or
something and...

542
00:34:57,428 --> 00:35:00,014
Jack: No problem. Better late
than never.

543
00:35:00,097 --> 00:35:04,185
Julie: Oh...Well you see, that's
why I came down to talk to you.

544
00:35:04,268 --> 00:35:05,645
I'm not finished working yet.

545
00:35:05,728 --> 00:35:07,688
Jack: Oh, that's all right.
We'll be around.

546
00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:11,067
Just look for a guy with the
silly grin on his face.

547
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:14,111
Julie: Okay. I'll find you.

548
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:15,404
Jack: Fine.

549
00:35:23,412 --> 00:35:24,080
Doc/isaac: Good evening.

550
00:35:24,163 --> 00:35:24,705
Gopher: Good evening.

551
00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:25,665
Julie: Well, a lot you know.

552
00:35:25,748 --> 00:35:28,501
Doc: Now there, my boys, is a
woman in love.

553
00:35:28,584 --> 00:35:30,545
Gopher: Golly, professor, how
can you tell?

554
00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:32,547
Doc: Well, she has all the
symptoms.

555
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:36,884
She is so testy, mean, evasive,
shifty-eyed,

556
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:41,347
and walks around like she's
going somewhere, which we all
know she ain't.

557
00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:46,561
And scared to death.

558
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:51,566
Gopher: Hey, all right.

559
00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:52,733
Doc: Congratulations.

560
00:35:52,817 --> 00:36:01,409
Ted: Thank you.

561
00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:03,411
I'll be right back, joanie
darling.

562
00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:07,248
Gary: We'll go get the
champagne. I love you, Judy.

563
00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:10,585
Joanie: Thanks a heap, Judy. You
didn't tell me Gary wanted six
kids.

564
00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:13,629
Judy: I love kids. You didn't
tell me Ted didn't want his wife
to work.

565
00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:14,797
Joanie: So you'll give up your
career.

566
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:16,883
Judy: I will not.

567
00:36:16,966 --> 00:36:20,761
Captain: Oh, congratulations.

568
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:25,391
Isee you're wearing different
wedding bands.

569
00:36:25,474 --> 00:36:28,227
Well, finally I can tell you
apart.

570
00:36:28,311 --> 00:36:31,105
Ah, you are...

571
00:36:31,188 --> 00:36:32,857
Joanie: Uh, Jo...Judy.

572
00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:35,610
Captain: Ah, Judy, joanie.

573
00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:38,946
Now I'll never forget.
Congratulations again.

574
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:42,617
Judy, joanie.

575
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:47,955
Joanie: What are we gonna do? We
goofed. We shouldn't have
switched.

576
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:50,833
Judy: I know. But what can we
do? We're married now.

577
00:36:50,917 --> 00:36:52,210
Joanie: Legally bound.

578
00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:55,129
Judy: Bound is right.

579
00:36:55,212 --> 00:36:56,923
Wait a minute.

580
00:36:57,006 --> 00:37:00,468
Your husband thinks he's married
to Judy, and that's me.

581
00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:03,971
And my husband thinks he's
married to joanie, and that's
you.

582
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:05,181
Joanie: We can't.

583
00:37:05,264 --> 00:37:08,184
Judy: All we have to do is
switch back to our regular
names,

584
00:37:08,267 --> 00:37:11,979
then we'll match the marriage
licenses and we'll each be with
the right guy.

585
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,272
Joanie: It's illegal.

586
00:37:13,356 --> 00:37:16,776
Judy: Joanie, it's like driving
sixty in a fifty five mile zone.

587
00:37:16,859 --> 00:37:19,820
It's only illegal if you get
caught.

588
00:37:19,904 --> 00:37:23,074
Joanie: Okay we'll do it.

589
00:37:34,293 --> 00:37:35,002
Ted: Hey, did you miss us?

590
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,088
Judy/joanie: Oh, yes.

591
00:37:37,171 --> 00:37:39,882
Captain: I finally figured out a
way to tell your wives apart.

592
00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:43,803
Ah, may I see the rings?

593
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:48,182
Joanie. Judy.

594
00:37:48,265 --> 00:37:49,809
All: Right!

595
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:13,374
Julie: Ladies and gentlemen, we
have a very talented twosome,

596
00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:15,584
i should say foursome with us
tonight.

597
00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:18,587
I'm sure you already know them,
they've been entertaining you
since the cruise began.

598
00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:22,633
So let's have a very warm
welcome for pat and Mike, the
harmons.

599
00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:39,358
Michael: Good evening.

600
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:41,235
Patty: Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen.

601
00:38:41,318 --> 00:38:43,446
Boy dummy: Gentlemen? I guess
that's us.

602
00:38:43,529 --> 00:38:47,199
Girl dummy: That'll be the day.

603
00:38:47,283 --> 00:38:49,243
Boy dummy: She's starting on me
again.

604
00:38:49,326 --> 00:38:51,912
Michael: Well, uh, maybe she's
only picking on you because she
loves you.

605
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:54,915
Girl dummy: That'll be another
day.

606
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,417
Michael: Well, what does she got
against you?

607
00:38:56,500 --> 00:39:01,088
Girl dummy: I've got nothin'
against you. And I've got
nothing for you either.

608
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:04,216
It doesn't matter. This is the
last time we'll be seeing each
other.

609
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:06,969
Boy dummy: Huh?

610
00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:11,265
Girl dummy: Michael wants to get
a divorce. Isn't that right?

611
00:39:11,348 --> 00:39:13,100
Patty: That's what I heard.

612
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:16,562
Boy dummy: Well, that doesn't
mean we can't work together,
does it?

613
00:39:16,645 --> 00:39:20,775
Girl dummy: I hate to tell you
this, but we only say what they
tell us to.

614
00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:23,110
Boy dummy: Nooo...

615
00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:26,113
Girl dummy: If they've got
nothing left to say to each
other...

616
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:29,992
Boy dummy: They've got lots to
say to each other, but they just
can't say it.

617
00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:35,331
Things like I'm sorry I never
listened.

618
00:39:35,414 --> 00:39:38,751
I'm sorry I took you for
granted.

619
00:39:38,834 --> 00:39:42,129
I'm sorry I was more interested
in getting laughs than I was in
us.

620
00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:51,764
Patty: Things like I don't know
how I'm gonna live without you.
Oh, please.

621
00:39:51,847 --> 00:40:01,482
Girl dummy: Please, can't we
give it another try?

622
00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:05,152
Why, Michael, you're crying.

623
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:08,489
Boy dummy: What's the matter?
You never seen a guy cry before?

624
00:40:08,572 --> 00:40:11,075
You think we got ice water in
our veins?

625
00:40:11,158 --> 00:40:12,493
Girl dummy: Sap.

626
00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:14,495
Michael: Sap is right.

627
00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:17,331
I'm the only sap in the crowd.

628
00:40:17,414 --> 00:40:20,376
Hey look, Patty, let's not throw
away everything.

629
00:40:20,459 --> 00:40:24,255
I mean...I...I still love you.

630
00:40:27,007 --> 00:40:28,342
Patty: Oh, Michael.

631
00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:50,990
Boy dummy: Nice goin', kid.
We're no dummies.

632
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,538
Patty: Couldn't resist, could
you?

633
00:40:57,621 --> 00:40:59,290
Michael: The only thing I can't
resist is you.

634
00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:16,098
Ashley: Julie?

635
00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:23,397
Julie: Oh, well, hi there. How's
every little thing?

636
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,567
Ashley: Okay, I guess. How's
every little thing with you?

637
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:30,487
Julie: Me? Terrific. Couldn't be
better.

638
00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:32,239
Courtney: You've been avoiding
us.

639
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:34,742
Julie: Nonsense. Avoiding you?

640
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:37,703
Ashley: Julie, would you like us
to tell you a story?

641
00:41:37,786 --> 00:41:38,704
Julie: Sure.

642
00:41:38,787 --> 00:41:41,248
Okay.

643
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:42,541
Well, thank you.

644
00:41:44,793 --> 00:41:47,588
Ashley: Well, you see, it's
about my aunt Kathy.

645
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:48,964
Julie: Hm-hm.

646
00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:51,425
Ashley: She got married to uncle
frank when she was seventeen
years old,

647
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:53,260
and had all these little babies.

648
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,054
Courtney: Only four.

649
00:41:55,137 --> 00:41:56,513
They're our cousins.

650
00:41:56,597 --> 00:42:00,559
Ashley: Well, now she's old.
Thirty maybe. And she lives with
the rock band.

651
00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,436
Julie: Yeah? Well, where are her
kids?

652
00:42:02,519 --> 00:42:04,980
Ashley: They live with uncle
frank.

653
00:42:05,064 --> 00:42:08,359
Do you know why she went away
and lives with the rock band?

654
00:42:08,442 --> 00:42:09,818
Julie: Why?

655
00:42:09,902 --> 00:42:12,112
Courtney: 'Cause she never got
to be a young person.

656
00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:14,448
That's what she told daddy.

657
00:42:14,531 --> 00:42:17,493
Well, anyway, I guess that's why
you're getting cold feet...

658
00:42:17,576 --> 00:42:20,412
About marrying daddy and coming
to live with us in Alaska.

659
00:42:20,496 --> 00:42:22,790
Being our mother.

660
00:42:22,873 --> 00:42:27,294
Julie: Yeah, that's me. Old cold
feet Julie.

661
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:32,424
Ah, listen, you guys are great
and I'm crazy about you.

662
00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:35,094
And I'm especially mad about
your father. I...

663
00:42:35,177 --> 00:42:36,971
I just wish that...

664
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:38,639
Ashley: That he didn't have us.

665
00:42:38,722 --> 00:42:41,600
Julie: No, no.

666
00:42:41,684 --> 00:42:46,272
No. I just don't want to have a
whole family all at the same
time.

667
00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:49,483
I want a gradual family.

668
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:53,612
I want to be a young person for
a while longer.

669
00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:58,284
Courtney: I love you.

670
00:42:58,367 --> 00:42:59,994
Julie: Oh....

671
00:43:00,077 --> 00:43:03,998
Jack: Gee, when a girl breaks up
with a guy's kids, it's...

672
00:43:04,081 --> 00:43:05,749
Julie: Oh, Jack.

673
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:13,632
I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.

674
00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:19,722
Jack: You know I think I'll be
glad to go back to work.

675
00:43:19,805 --> 00:43:21,432
Falling in love is exhausting.

676
00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:23,517
Julie: I know. Jack...

677
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,602
Jack: You don't have to say a
word.

678
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:30,232
I don't want to tie anybody down
unless that person wants to be
tied down.

679
00:43:30,316 --> 00:43:35,154
Julie: Jack you're a wonderful
man, and I care about you a
great deal.

680
00:43:35,237 --> 00:43:37,906
Jack: Well, that's something we
have in common, because I care a
great deal for you, too.

681
00:43:45,914 --> 00:43:48,042
You want to go inside and have a
drink?

682
00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:51,587
Julie: No.

683
00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:52,671
Jack: A little dancing?

684
00:43:56,175 --> 00:43:57,676
Midnight buffet?

685
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,679
Julie: Hm.

686
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:02,973
Hey, don't tell me you've run
out of ideas.

687
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:17,237
Gopher: Goodbye.

688
00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:20,866
Boy, I'm glad you two guys had a
change of heart.

689
00:44:20,949 --> 00:44:22,910
Boy dummy: And a change of
address.

690
00:44:22,993 --> 00:44:26,246
Girl dummy: At least he is. He's
moving in with us again.

691
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:29,583
Gopher: Ah. Then we'll be seeing
the team of pat and Mike again,
huh?

692
00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:32,294
Patty: Oh, not if it's a cold
winter.

693
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:33,837
Michael: We'll be too busy
keeping warm.

694
00:44:36,965 --> 00:44:39,093
Boy dummy: That looks like fun.
Wanna try it?

695
00:44:39,176 --> 00:44:40,427
Girl dummy: I'm game.

696
00:44:45,391 --> 00:44:49,269
Boy dummy: Timber. Wheee...

697
00:44:52,564 --> 00:44:55,401
Gopher: I bet they'd rather have
children.

698
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:02,616
Captain: Goodbye. I hope we see
you all again soon.

699
00:45:02,699 --> 00:45:06,078
Doc: The next time under happier
circumstances.

700
00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:08,455
Captain: At least now I know how
to tell you apart.

701
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:10,749
Isaac: Oh, that's easy...

702
00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:12,835
That's Gary and that's Ted.

703
00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:16,797
Captain: I have a better idea.

704
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:21,802
Here. Never take those off. Now
that should do it.

705
00:45:21,885 --> 00:45:24,555
Judy: Sorry, captain.

706
00:45:24,638 --> 00:45:28,100
Doc: You haven't lost it,
merrill.

707
00:45:28,183 --> 00:45:31,145
Captain: Would you get out of
here.

708
00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:33,689
All: Bye bye...

709
00:46:00,757 --> 00:46:02,801
Ashley: It was nice meeting you.

710
00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:06,472
Julie: Oh, it was wonderful
meeting you.

711
00:46:06,555 --> 00:46:07,306
Courtney: Julie?

712
00:46:07,389 --> 00:46:08,682
Julie: Hm-hm?

713
00:46:08,765 --> 00:46:11,351
Courtney: I...I wish you were
coming with us.

714
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:13,020
Julie: Oh...

715
00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:16,482
Ashley: Courtney shut up. She
has a big mouth.

716
00:46:16,565 --> 00:46:19,693
I was just gonna say, if you
ever get to Alaska, look us up.

717
00:46:19,776 --> 00:46:21,195
Julie: I will.

718
00:46:21,278 --> 00:46:24,990
Ashley: Oh, Julie, I wish you
were coming with us.

719
00:46:25,073 --> 00:46:29,286
Courtney: Will the real big
mouth please stand up.

720
00:46:29,369 --> 00:46:30,496
Julie: I love you.

721
00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:32,581
Ashley: I love you.

722
00:46:32,664 --> 00:46:33,582
Ashley: Bye, Julie.

723
00:46:33,665 --> 00:46:36,543
Julie: I love you.

724
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:39,463
Courtney: I love you. I'm gonna
miss you.

725
00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:55,562
Jack: Julie...Maybe we...

726
00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:59,107
Julie: Oh, Jack, no.

727
00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:02,903
Jack: Yeah.

728
00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:04,530
Well...

729
00:47:04,613 --> 00:47:09,618
Julie: If you ever get to la
again, maybe you could look me
up.

730
00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:13,580
Jack: Sure.

731
00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:15,916
If you ever get up to Alaska...

732
00:47:15,999 --> 00:47:18,752
Julie: You know that's not
altogether impossible.

733
00:47:18,835 --> 00:47:24,675
We have cruises. And I could get
on one of them
accidentally...Maybe on purpose.

734
00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:28,720
Jack: Sure.

735
00:47:28,804 --> 00:47:33,183
Well, if you do...Look me up.

736
00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:35,936
Julie: Yeah.

737
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,283
Bye.