1 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:14,889 ♪ Love ♪ 2 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:18,810 ♪ exciting and new ♪ 3 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:22,981 ♪ come aboard ♪ 4 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:26,651 ♪ we're expecting you ♪ 5 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:30,947 ♪ and love ♪ 6 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:34,826 ♪ life's sweetest reward ♪ 7 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:39,122 ♪ let it flow ♪ 8 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:43,001 ♪ it floats back to you ♪ 9 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,463 ♪ the love boat ♪ 10 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:51,509 ♪ soon will be making another run ♪ 11 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,804 ♪ the love boat ♪ 12 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:59,058 ♪ promises something for everyone ♪ 13 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,519 ♪ set a course for adventure ♪ 14 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:07,817 ♪ your mind on a new romance ♪ 15 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,196 ♪ and love ♪ 16 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:15,492 ♪ won't hurt anymore ♪ 17 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:19,204 ♪ it's an open smile ♪ 18 00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:23,833 ♪ on a friendly shore ♪ 19 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:28,296 ♪ it's love ♪ 20 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:34,344 ♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪ 21 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,174 Isaac! 22 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,175 Mrs. Binkley! 23 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,593 Hey, how you doing? 24 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,053 Fine. How are you? 25 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,222 So you're joining us again, huh? 26 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,391 Well, things are looking up! 27 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,060 I thought I heard a familiar voice. 28 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:26,062 Familiar and loud, right? 29 00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:29,065 Will your sister be back this year, too? 30 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,067 The dynamic duo lives. 31 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,986 Do we have our same stateroom? 32 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:34,863 First cabin, promenade deck -- 33 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,865 just follow the Martini glasses. 34 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,575 Uh, yes and no. 35 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,451 Oh, well, that's pretty definite. 36 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,246 Well, didn't your sister tell you? 37 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,247 Tell me what? 38 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,373 Olivia! 39 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,041 [ Chuckles ] 40 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,669 You old bag of doorknobs! 41 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:53,464 Ahhh! Sis, how are you?! 42 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,594 Okay, enough small talk -- let's raise hell. 43 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,387 Uh, no. 44 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:02,390 Things are gonna be a little different this year. 45 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,893 Why? I'm still young and desirable. 46 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,269 [ Chuckles ] 47 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:10,064 Well, uh, because... Byron's coming with us. 48 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,111 You brought your husband? 49 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:18,156 Well, yes. But we'll still have fun. 50 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,950 Sure, we'll lock him in the closet. 51 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,952 [ Both laugh ] 52 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,916 What's so funny? 53 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:31,127 Nothing, darling. 54 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,754 I can't believe it. 55 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,465 Those two married women were raising hell on this ship 56 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:36,424 for six years. 57 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,009 Now one brings her husband. 58 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:41,471 Well, I guess that means only half the men onboard 59 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,556 are gonna have a good time. 60 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,649 Hello. Welcome aboard. 61 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,776 I'm gopher Smith, the assistant purser. 62 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,778 Hello, I'm Janet latham. 63 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,279 Uh... 64 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,948 Oh, Mrs. Latham, there's a gentleman looking for you. 65 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:00,865 Right. 66 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,492 For me? Here? 67 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,369 Are you sure? 68 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,288 Yes, ma'am. He's waiting for you in the lobby. 69 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,123 Well, this is quite a mystery. 70 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,667 I'll show you. 71 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,965 Oh, that's the gentleman there. 72 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,969 That's my florist. 73 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,887 Oh, it's too bad. 74 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,102 Mrs. Latham. 75 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,188 Mr. Dobson. 76 00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:35,316 I, uh...J-Just because you're on vacation, 77 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,236 i didn't want you to miss out on your roses. 78 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,404 Oh, thank you. 79 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,031 Goodness, do you mean to tell me 80 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,867 you came all the way from San Francisco 81 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,327 just to deliver this? 82 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,662 Oh, no. 83 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:51,374 No. No. I'm sailing, too. 84 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,043 Oh. Why, that's very nice. 85 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,839 Perhaps we'll run in to each other. 86 00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,215 Perhaps yes. 87 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,968 Well, what a small world. 88 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,851 Hi. Oh, thank you. 89 00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:15,231 Hello. 90 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:17,191 Hello. 91 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,736 Oh, that figures. If it's not one thing, it's another. 92 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,572 What's the problem? 93 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,572 Mumps. 94 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,574 Nothing personal, but would you mind standing downwind? 95 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,409 I never had the mumps. 96 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,411 No, not me -- Danny denzlo. 97 00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:30,413 Danny denzlo has the mumps? 98 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,915 That's terrible! That's awful! 99 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,542 Who's Danny denzlo? 100 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:37,211 He's the singer I booked for this cruise. 101 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:40,214 Oh, now his manager says he has the mumps, 102 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:41,758 and he can't sing. 103 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:42,759 Can he hum? 104 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:46,387 Doc, we're sailing in 15 minutes without a singer. 105 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,140 What am I gonna tell the captain? 106 00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:52,143 Tell him to learn "melancholy baby" quick. 107 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,478 Okay. 108 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:56,105 You know what I love about you? 109 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,774 Not much. 110 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:02,487 She used to be such a pleasant girl. 111 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,448 [ Air horn blows ] 112 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:33,893 Come on, Isaac, think! 113 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,770 I have to find some entertainment 114 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,146 for the acapulco lounge. 115 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,857 I need to find somebody to replace that sick singer. 116 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:40,858 I've got it! 117 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:41,984 What? 118 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,320 ♪ Give my regards to Broadway ♪ 119 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:45,655 Next! 120 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,282 So, then... Promenade 343. 121 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,493 That should be right here. 122 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,995 I'll open it up for you. 123 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,622 Here we are. 124 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:57,333 Your home...Away from home. 125 00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,377 Thank you, gopher. 126 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:00,753 Mm-hmm. 127 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,005 I, uh, I suppose I seem like a dunce, 128 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,508 but I've never traveled alone before. 129 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,677 Oh, well, you won't be alone for long 130 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,012 if you get out and mix and mingle. 131 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,306 Is that as dreadful as it sounds? 132 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,976 [ Chuckling ] No, no. 133 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,854 Besides, it looks to me as if you already have an admirer. 134 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,355 Henry dobson. 135 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:23,401 Oh, no, he just delivers me a Rose every day. 136 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,364 Oh, my husband was a very romantic man. 137 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:30,700 Every day of our marriage, 138 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,995 he sent a single white Rose to me. 139 00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:38,040 And even though he's been gone now for three years, 140 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,001 the roses keep coming. 141 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:43,880 Wow. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. 142 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,258 Yes -- beautiful. 143 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,552 Well, here you go. 144 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,220 And your key. 145 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,890 Thanks again, gopher. 146 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,224 You're welcome. Bye-bye. 147 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,392 Bye-bye. 148 00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:14,619 [ Crying ] 149 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,042 Gee, I wonder what Julie's gonna do about getting a singer. 150 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,419 I don't know, but if she doesn't find one, 151 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,588 she'll have to do her sewing by hand. 152 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:29,175 "Singer" -- "sewing" -- you get it? 153 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:30,593 Unfortunately. 154 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,971 Mr. Smith, your cleaning's ready. 155 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,224 ♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪ 156 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:40,686 ♪ the pipes, the pipes are calling ♪ 157 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,985 ♪ So come ye back ♪ 158 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:52,782 ♪ when summer's in the Meadow ♪ 159 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:59,622 ♪ or when the valley's hushed and white with snow ♪ 160 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:06,712 ♪ 'Tis there I'll be in springtime or in shadow ♪ 161 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:12,009 Honey, I'm gonna go across the hall and see livy. 162 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,261 Let's meet later. 163 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,303 Uh, how much later? 164 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,638 I don't know. 165 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,807 Go find something to amuse yourself. 166 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:18,808 Like what? 167 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,352 Byron, I see my sister once a year. 168 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:24,105 I have only one chance to gossip, giggle, 169 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,481 and get caught up. 170 00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:26,816 What's to get caught up on? 171 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,484 You write to each other every week. 172 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:32,280 They're off and running! 173 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,949 I don't want to say it's boring over there, 174 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:37,159 but I've unpacked, finished my magazines, 175 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,162 read the ship's log, and was about to start on the Bible. 176 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,998 Come in. 177 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,499 I am in. 178 00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:46,877 I used to live here in the good old days. 179 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,505 Oh, yes, I've heard about the good old days, 180 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:53,009 and I think it's high time somebody kept an eye on you two. 181 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,594 You were right. Let's lock him in the closet. 182 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,848 Hey! 183 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,516 Hey, come on. 184 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:03,060 [ Pounding on door ] 185 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,521 We're gonna go find some action, Byron. 186 00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:07,231 Call us if you need anything. 187 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,694 Byron: Joan, you come back here right now! 188 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,904 Oh, I guess we'd better let him out. 189 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:14,822 Why?! 190 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,991 Well, I think we should just let him out. 191 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:18,993 He doesn't love this stuff the way we do. 192 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,202 Come back here right now! 193 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,120 Oh, I guess so. 194 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,872 They don't call old Byron a wet blanket 195 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,415 'cause he sleeps in the rain. 196 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:34,925 ♪ I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow ♪ 197 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:39,555 ♪ oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy ♪ 198 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:44,518 ♪ I love you so ♪ 199 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,563 Bravo! Bravo! 200 00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:51,067 If I knew you were coming, I would have saved some hot water. 201 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,235 Gopher, you're fantastic! 202 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,445 Oh, thank you. 203 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:58,032 Well, you know, I work out and avoid between-meal treats. 204 00:10:58,115 --> 00:11:00,076 How'd you like to sing for the passengers? 205 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,745 Oh. Come on, I'm not a performer. 206 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,789 Aw, you could have fooled us. 207 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,207 ♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪ 208 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:08,584 Come on, I sing in the shower. 209 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,086 You sang for the cruise show. 210 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,962 Yeah, but that was different. 211 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,090 There, I was hamming it up with my dad. 212 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,842 I couldn't get up in front of an audience alone. 213 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,803 Julie's singer is sick. 214 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,347 Now, somebody has got to go on. 215 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,933 Well, get yourself another somebody, 216 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,936 because I am not gonna make a fool out of myself. 217 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,562 Oh, gopher. 218 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:32,233 Hey, tell her you don't argue with a man in a wet towel. 219 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,567 He's right. 220 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:37,071 He might decide to snap it at you. 221 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:40,491 Now, if you will please excuse me. Hmm? 222 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,119 If you will please excuse me. 223 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,787 Please excuse me. 224 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,873 "An interesting performance with fine music and lyrics. 225 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,292 The costuming, however, left much to be desired." 226 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,460 Out! 227 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,096 Thank you. 228 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,347 Thank you. 229 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,099 Say, here's one you might remember. 230 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,101 ♪ Oh, Danny -- ♪ 231 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:20,156 I'll be right back. 232 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,917 Thank you. 233 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,306 Would, uh... 234 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:50,102 Would you care for a, uh, glass of Sherry, Mrs. Latham? 235 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,438 No, thank you, Mr. Dobson. 236 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,190 I don't like Sherry. 237 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:55,816 Oh. 238 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,195 [ Clears throat ] 239 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:03,699 They, uh, they told me to mix and mingle. 240 00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:06,535 They told me the same thing. 241 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,041 Won't you sit down? 242 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,049 I'm disturbing you. 243 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,675 Not at all. 244 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:25,387 It's nice to see a familiar face. 245 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:33,020 Well, uh, how long have we known each other -- 246 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,272 six, seven, eight years? 247 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,733 11. 248 00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:39,443 But who's counting? 249 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:43,072 But I guess you couldn't really say we know each other. 250 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,907 No, it's -- that's too bad. 251 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,700 It's a shame, isn't it, 252 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,954 that we get so caught up in our big-city lives? 253 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:54,500 I guess it's just a matter of getting past "hello." 254 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,043 That's right. 255 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:59,463 Well... 256 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,382 Hello, Henry. 257 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,926 Hello. 258 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,515 Now what? 259 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:12,268 Will you have dinner with me, Mrs. Latham? 260 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,395 I'd love to have dinner with you. 261 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,272 Oh. 262 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,399 Good. 263 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,443 And it's "Janet." 264 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,946 Janet. 265 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,660 Now what? 266 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,679 [ Chuckles ] 267 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:16,332 Well, how are my two favorite passengers doing? 268 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,666 No complaints. 269 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,044 Not that many compliments, either. 270 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,713 Oh, allow me. You look ravishing. 271 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:24,882 I'd rather look ravished. 272 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,470 Were the drinks okay? 273 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:30,804 Oh, another round, Isaac. 274 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,348 Oh, certainly. 275 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,850 Joan, I don't need another round. 276 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,852 Wrong. 277 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,855 [ Chuckles ] 278 00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:43,525 Oh, there's a sad situation, 279 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,236 a handsome man sitting in the corner, all alone. 280 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,155 And what's sad about that? 281 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:50,866 The fact that I'm sitting here. Bye. 282 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,288 What's she doing? She's a married woman. 283 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,332 Oh, she's just flirting. 284 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:01,877 I just don't understand women these days. 285 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,712 Women are no different than men. 286 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,632 They like to let it all hang out once in a while, too. 287 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,550 Ah, three piña coladas. 288 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,929 Uno...uno...uno. 289 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:12,930 Mmm! 290 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:17,685 Now, livy is gone... Byron doesn't want his... 291 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:21,355 So it looks like I'm all on my own. 292 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:30,072 There must be some way to get gopher to sing tonight. 293 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,741 Well, sure, you could put a gun to his head, 294 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,410 hold his parents hostage. 295 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:35,744 Hide his skate key. 296 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,330 Why do I listen to them? Why don't I learn? 297 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,375 Julie, if he doesn't want to sing, you can't make him. 298 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:42,793 I know. 299 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,169 Look -- 300 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,091 I'd love to go on chatting with you, 301 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,885 but I'm about to have a previous engagement. 302 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,931 Wonder if she can sing. 303 00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:59,393 I don't think that's what doc is gonna ask her. 304 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:03,439 You know, the one way to get somebody to do something 305 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,274 they don't want to do 306 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:09,069 is to convince them that what they don't want to do 307 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,113 is really something they want to do. 308 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,322 Huh? 309 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:16,869 When I get finished, gopher will want to. 310 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,290 Run that by me again? 311 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,807 McCoy! 312 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,477 McCoy, what -- 313 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,020 yes? Is there something you wanted? 314 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,981 Julie, look, I clearly stated 315 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,775 that under no circum-- 316 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,775 oh, wow! 317 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,319 Oh, wow! 318 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,279 This is you, isn't it? 319 00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,948 Well, yeah, it's me. 320 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,033 You're singing here tonight? 321 00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,162 Well, actually, I'm just, uh... 322 00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:03,040 Oh, I just love singers. 323 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,502 They make me feel so...Sexy. 324 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:07,836 Oh, really? 325 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,755 Oh, yeah. 326 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:13,509 I just can't seem to control myself when a man sings to me. 327 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,426 Oh, really? 328 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:16,720 Smith? 329 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,096 What?! 330 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,974 Did you want to say something to me? 331 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,769 Yes, Julie, um... 332 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,190 That is, uh... 333 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,234 Gotta go rehearse with the band. 334 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,700 Thank you. 335 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,327 Anytime. 336 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,871 Listen, I gotta run. I gotta have dinner with my husband. 337 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,040 I didn't know you were married. 338 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,000 Yeah, to an accountant. 339 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,336 Accountants make me feel so sexy. 340 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,518 [ Soft music plays ] 341 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:26,248 This has the color of a night Rose. 342 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,251 You know so much about flowers. 343 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,086 And absolutely nothing about wine. 344 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,303 Mmm! Tastes terrific, though. 345 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:42,097 What a wonderful business you're in. 346 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,266 You make so many people happy. 347 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,893 I'm a lot like you. 348 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,102 Oh? 349 00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:50,439 You make them happy just to look at you. 350 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,775 Now i'm the color of a night Rose. 351 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,152 [ Chuckles ] 352 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:08,415 Where's the watchdog? 353 00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,292 At El buffet. 354 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,960 [ Chuckles ] 355 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,589 Livy, I'm really sorry if he's cramping your style. 356 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,299 Nobody's cramping my style. 357 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,301 I'm just sorry you're stuck with him. 358 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:23,138 Byron's not so bad if he'd just let himself go. 359 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:25,140 If my husband would let himself go, 360 00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:26,266 I'd help him pack. 361 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,646 Things still lousy at home? 362 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,814 Well, let's put it this way... 363 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,650 Mm-hmm. 364 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:37,319 But, look, let's not spend the whole evening crying in our beer. 365 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,445 I came here to 366 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:41,031 ♪ live, love, laugh, and be happy ♪ 367 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,617 Or words to that effect. 368 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,494 Yeah! 369 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,162 Yeah. 370 00:20:47,245 --> 00:20:49,081 See you. 371 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,003 Hey, guys. 372 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,506 I can't get any of the musicians to tell me 373 00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,840 what gopher's gonna sing. 374 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,217 Every time I ask, 375 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,636 they just look at me and start laughing. 376 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,846 Well, that's not very encouraging. 377 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,516 Well, what are we worried about, huh? 378 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:10,018 I mean, we've heard him sing. He's great. 379 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,687 Nothing to worry about. 380 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,021 Julie? 381 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,021 Yes, sir? 382 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,691 I noticed that you've substituted gopher 383 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,068 for the scheduled entertainment. 384 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:20,320 I only hope the passengers concur 385 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,489 with your artistic judgments. 386 00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:25,367 Now I'm worried. Are you worried? 387 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,660 Nah. 388 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,660 No. 389 00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:27,661 Really? 390 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,831 Well, sure. It wasn't our idea. 391 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,877 Well, what can you do? It's too late to cancel him. 392 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:39,089 Man, if he goes up and bombs after you conned him into it... 393 00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:40,298 He's not gonna bomb. 394 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,383 But, just the same, 395 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:44,052 what do you say we give him a little insurance? 396 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,264 I don't think we have any applause machines on board. 397 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:50,475 No, but we do know a lot of the passengers on board. 398 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,812 Maybe we could tell them that gopher's our friend. 399 00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:55,564 And plead for mercy. 400 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:58,066 No, and ask for them to encourage him. 401 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,693 What do you say, doc? 402 00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:01,570 Well, if you think it'll help. 403 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,739 I'll make sure everybody gets plenty to drink. 404 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,824 They may not even see him. 405 00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:11,621 [ Soft music plays ] 406 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:18,503 Oh, that was a great dinner. 407 00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:19,504 Hmm? 408 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,882 The dinner -- it was great. 409 00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:25,594 You know, I never cared for Olivia's husband much, 410 00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:28,555 but I sure feel sorry for him now. 411 00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:30,932 Are we gonna waste a beautiful evening 412 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,392 worrying about Ted? 413 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:35,145 I am. 414 00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:37,856 Oh, come on, honey, have a Margarita. 415 00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:40,650 And besides, it's none of our business. 416 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:43,945 A toast... To Joan and Byron. 417 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:47,282 May they live a thousand years. 418 00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,327 She kissed him. 419 00:22:54,372 --> 00:22:58,085 May Joan live a thousand years. May Byron drop dead. 420 00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,628 You know, honey, 421 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,964 i-i don't see how you can condone that kind of behavior. 422 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,508 Come on, honey. 423 00:23:04,591 --> 00:23:08,637 Stop worrying about Olivia and concentrate on me. 424 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:09,679 After all, 425 00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:14,101 I am the more attractive, younger, sexier sister. 426 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,561 And you're mine -- all mine. 427 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,814 Hey, Joan! Remember me? 428 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:21,650 Roger. Last year -- señor frog's. 429 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,110 The conga line -- 430 00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:25,028 ♪ da da da da da da ♪ 431 00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:26,446 ♪ da da da da da da ♪ 432 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,115 We gotta do that again sometime. 433 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,742 My wife said she never had so much fun in her whole life. 434 00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:47,050 Well, I talked to a few people, 435 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:50,053 and I think we can safely rule out sniper fire. 436 00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,514 Well, let's not get carried away, huh? 437 00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:55,350 I mean, gopher's just gonna sing a simple song. 438 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:56,476 It's no big deal. 439 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,395 [ Dramatic music plays ] 440 00:23:58,478 --> 00:24:00,814 Oh, my. 441 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,607 [ Piano plays introduction ] 442 00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:11,575 [ Jazzy music plays ] 443 00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:17,873 [ Applause ] 444 00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:20,208 I don't believe it. 445 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:24,087 Madame Frankenstein, meet your monster. 446 00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:25,881 [ Applause continues ] 447 00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:28,049 Thank you. Thank you. 448 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,177 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 449 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:32,721 Thank you and good evening. 450 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,598 Or should I say... 451 00:24:34,681 --> 00:24:37,267 Buenos noches? 452 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:42,355 Okay, I want to dedicate this first one... 453 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:47,277 To all you guys and you gals that are in love 454 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:51,239 'cause I think you'll find this song tells it all. 455 00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:56,870 ♪ Oh, you know that the shark has, you know it ♪ 456 00:24:56,953 --> 00:25:00,290 ♪ such sharp teeth, dear ♪ 457 00:25:00,373 --> 00:25:03,752 ♪ and he shows them pearly white ♪ 458 00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:05,754 I guess he uses dental floss, right, girls? 459 00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:09,549 ♪ Just a Jack knife has old macheath, dear ♪ 460 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,551 Where you from originally? 461 00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:13,720 ♪ And he keeps it out of view ♪ 462 00:25:13,803 --> 00:25:14,721 ♪ out of sight ♪ 463 00:25:14,804 --> 00:25:15,931 Whoops! 464 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,642 ♪ Hey, when that shark bites ♪ 465 00:25:18,725 --> 00:25:20,268 ♪ with those teeth, dear ♪ 466 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:23,396 ♪ Scarlet billows start to spread ♪ 467 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,232 Yeah! 468 00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:27,275 ♪ Fancy gloves, though ♪ 469 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:28,443 Oh, excuse me! 470 00:25:28,526 --> 00:25:30,111 ♪ Wears macheath, dear ♪ yeah, right. 471 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,529 ♪ So there's never ♪ 472 00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,281 Oh! 473 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,325 ♪ Never a trace of crimson or Scarlet or red ♪ 474 00:25:35,408 --> 00:25:37,619 Hit it! 475 00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:40,247 ♪ Oh, on the sidewalk ♪ 476 00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:42,082 ♪ on Sunday morning ♪ 477 00:25:42,165 --> 00:25:44,626 ♪ there's a body oozing life ♪ 478 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,419 ♪ someone sneaking ♪ 479 00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,463 ♪ sneaking 'round that corner ♪ 480 00:25:48,546 --> 00:25:49,965 Whoops! 481 00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:53,134 ♪ Could that someone, oh, be mack the knife? ♪ 482 00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:55,262 Everybody! Oh! 483 00:25:55,345 --> 00:25:57,764 ♪ Sukey tawdry ♪ 484 00:25:57,847 --> 00:25:59,641 ♪ oh, Jenny diver ♪ 485 00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:01,142 Captain stubing, ladies and gentlemen. 486 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:02,644 ♪ And old Lucy brown ♪ 487 00:26:02,727 --> 00:26:04,229 Ho! 488 00:26:04,312 --> 00:26:06,982 ♪ Oh, the line forms on the right ♪ 489 00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:08,483 Maybe! 490 00:26:08,566 --> 00:26:09,985 ♪ Now that mackie's ♪ 491 00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:11,236 Ho! Ho! 492 00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:12,654 ♪ Mackie's ♪ 493 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:13,989 Ho! Ho! 494 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:19,286 ♪ Mackie is back in this to-o-o-o-wn ♪ 495 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:20,829 [ Applause ] 496 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:38,847 How many people did you talk to about gopher? 497 00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:39,806 Not that many. 498 00:26:39,889 --> 00:26:41,182 They like him. 499 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:43,351 What did you put in the drinks? 500 00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:53,028 Great show, Julie. Congratulations. 501 00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:54,321 Uh, thank you, sir. 502 00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:56,364 You know, for a while there, 503 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,575 I didn't even realize he was putting us on. 504 00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:00,702 Excuse me. 505 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:02,579 He thinks gopher was kidding. 506 00:27:02,662 --> 00:27:04,372 Apparently, everybody does. 507 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,374 Maybe he was putting us on. 508 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,210 I don't want to ask him. Do you want to ask him? 509 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:12,047 Not me. 510 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:12,047 I don't want to ask him. 511 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:12,047 Not me. 512 00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:14,507 Well, listen, a guy has to do what he has to do. 513 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:16,551 I appreciate it, though. I really do. 514 00:27:16,634 --> 00:27:19,220 Mr. Smith, you were wonderful -- absolutely wonderful. 515 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:20,347 Well, you're very kind. 516 00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:22,057 Very impressive work, my boy -- very impressive work. 517 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:23,224 Thank you. I'll try and -- 518 00:27:23,308 --> 00:27:24,559 wasn't he good? Wasn't he good? 519 00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:26,186 Thank you. Thank you. 520 00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:36,488 [ Soft music plays ] 521 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:43,745 [ Music stops ] 522 00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:46,247 [ Jazzy music plays ] 523 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,083 We, uh, we dance well together. 524 00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:50,293 Well, you dance well with anybody. 525 00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:51,920 It's like you invented the waltz. 526 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,588 Oh, I did. 527 00:27:53,671 --> 00:27:57,258 Whoever dances the waltz must pay me $3 in royalties, 528 00:27:57,342 --> 00:28:00,178 which is why I'm a very rich man today, 529 00:28:00,261 --> 00:28:01,888 and why I own this ship. 530 00:28:01,971 --> 00:28:03,431 [ Laughs ] 531 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:04,933 Oh, well... 532 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:13,733 I'm very comfortable with you. 533 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:16,319 And I wasn't sure I would be. 534 00:28:16,403 --> 00:28:18,446 Why? Am I so forbidding? 535 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,573 Oh, no. No, no, no, no. 536 00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:22,450 I, uh... 537 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,620 I was just afraid. 538 00:28:25,703 --> 00:28:29,082 I've never taken a risk in my whole life. 539 00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:31,960 Neither have I. 540 00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:35,755 Change is so frightening. 541 00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:38,258 So is staying in one place. 542 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:51,646 Well... 543 00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:54,941 I guess I owe you $3. 544 00:28:55,024 --> 00:28:57,152 You what? 545 00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,821 I danced one of your waltzes. 546 00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:02,991 Oh! Oh, yes. Yes. 547 00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:04,868 Will you take a check? 548 00:29:04,951 --> 00:29:07,537 Do you have any identification? 549 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,340 I can't believe it. 550 00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:21,551 Gopher's the new romantic heartthrob 551 00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:23,178 because of his singing. 552 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:25,722 And we thought it was gonna be heartburn. 553 00:29:25,805 --> 00:29:27,724 You're talking about romance. 554 00:29:27,807 --> 00:29:30,351 Gopher just told me about Mrs. Latham. 555 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,687 Her husband gave her a single white Rose 556 00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:34,481 every day they were married. 557 00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:36,024 He died three years ago, 558 00:29:36,107 --> 00:29:39,235 but he made arrangements for the roses to keep coming. 559 00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:43,698 Hmm. I have the same kind of arrangement with my ex-wives. 560 00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:46,868 I send them alimony checks every day. 561 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:50,038 It really makes me feel good to know if I wasn't here, 562 00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,874 you'd be off in some conga line with...Roger. 563 00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:55,793 How many times do I have to tell you Roger's married? 564 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:59,088 Well, so are you, but it doesn't seem to slow you down! 565 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:01,090 Roger, his wife, and I had fun. 566 00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:03,384 Remember when we used to have fun? 567 00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:06,179 Oh, probably not -- it's been such a long time. 568 00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:08,890 Yeah, I suppose your sister is having fun, too. 569 00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:11,226 Well, that's exactly what she's having. 570 00:30:11,309 --> 00:30:14,020 She's a very outgoing person, and she likes people. 571 00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:15,188 Especially men. 572 00:30:15,271 --> 00:30:19,234 Especially men -- but it doesn't mean she sleeps with them! 573 00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:20,902 Honey, you needn't shout. 574 00:30:20,985 --> 00:30:23,446 It's awfully hard to yell at you without shouting. 575 00:30:25,865 --> 00:30:28,868 Boy, this is some cruise. 576 00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:30,286 You can say that again. 577 00:30:30,370 --> 00:30:33,915 I can't say that again. I'm not speaking to you. 578 00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:36,793 Well... 579 00:30:36,876 --> 00:30:39,045 Good night. 580 00:30:39,128 --> 00:30:40,421 Hmm! 581 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:43,466 I certainly wish it had been. 582 00:30:55,478 --> 00:30:58,064 Oh, good breakfast. I am stuffed. 583 00:30:58,147 --> 00:30:59,357 Yeah, me too. 584 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,527 Gee, maybe we shouldn't go swimming. 585 00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:04,153 We'll probably sink. 586 00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:05,446 [ Chuckles ] 587 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,574 Isn't Roger's wife nice? 588 00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:08,866 Yes, she is. 589 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,493 And so is Roger. 590 00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:13,413 And I'm sorry about last night. 591 00:31:13,496 --> 00:31:16,416 I even take back everything I said about Olivia. 592 00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:20,712 Isn't that -- 593 00:31:20,795 --> 00:31:23,590 boy, you must think I'm some pushover. 594 00:31:23,673 --> 00:31:24,674 W-What? 595 00:31:24,757 --> 00:31:27,176 Well, if this is the way you and your sister behave 596 00:31:27,260 --> 00:31:28,595 when you're away from home. 597 00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:30,805 What Olivia's done has nothing to do with me! 598 00:31:30,888 --> 00:31:31,848 Oh, sure. Sure. I know. 599 00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:34,267 You and Roger and his wife were dancing the conga. 600 00:31:34,350 --> 00:31:35,476 And who else was in that line? 601 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,603 And that was only one night! 602 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:38,855 And what about all those other cruises you were on?! 603 00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:41,482 ♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪ 604 00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:44,319 Joanie, wait till I tell you what -- 605 00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:47,905 honey, what's the matter? Why are you crying? 606 00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:52,160 Byron saw someone coming out of your cabin just now. 607 00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:53,953 And he thinks... 608 00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:57,040 He thinks all these cruises, i'm... 609 00:31:57,123 --> 00:32:00,001 Guilty by association? 610 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:04,005 Honey, I'm really sorry. 611 00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:06,007 It's not your fault. 612 00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:09,052 Why'd I let him come anyway? 613 00:32:09,135 --> 00:32:12,305 You know, I thought that maybe he'd be -- 614 00:32:12,388 --> 00:32:14,515 maybe he'd be different. 615 00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:17,685 Maybe -- aw, what's the use? 616 00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:21,648 Joanie, let's face it, Byron is...Byron. 617 00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:26,152 Come on, honey, fix your face. 618 00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:31,157 By my count, you've got five cruises to make up for. 619 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,159 Come on. 620 00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:40,708 Hey, have you guys seen gopher? 621 00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:42,710 He's meeting his public. 622 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:44,545 Hey! Hey! Hey, saw you last night. 623 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:46,339 Love you -- thanks for coming in. 624 00:32:46,422 --> 00:32:47,757 All right, okay. Hey. 625 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,386 I guess he knew what he was doing last night. 626 00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:53,680 You know, I guess a guy can sing his brains out, 627 00:32:53,763 --> 00:32:55,556 but if there's nobody there to listen to him, 628 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,183 you're all by yourself, you know? 629 00:32:57,266 --> 00:32:59,227 Hey, thanks a million. 630 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:01,688 Glad you enjoyed it. Dedicate one just for you tonight, okay? 631 00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:03,272 Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. 632 00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:04,399 Thank you. Thank you. 633 00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:07,360 Boy, it really went great last night, don't you think? 634 00:33:07,443 --> 00:33:08,695 Oh, yeah. 635 00:33:08,778 --> 00:33:10,405 Everybody thought you were terrific. 636 00:33:10,488 --> 00:33:11,406 Yeah, I know. 637 00:33:11,489 --> 00:33:13,032 I was actually afraid 638 00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:15,743 I was gonna get up there and look stupid last night, 639 00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:18,246 but I even made some mistakes at the beginning, 640 00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:19,080 and nobody noticed. 641 00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:20,581 [ Coughs ] 642 00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:22,542 No. 643 00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:24,711 Oh, Julie, by the way, I'll be talking to you later 644 00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:26,504 about getting some backup singers. 645 00:33:26,587 --> 00:33:28,589 I think they might really jazz up the act, you know? 646 00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:32,677 Oh, hi! 647 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,138 Hey, listen, saw you in the audience last night. 648 00:33:35,221 --> 00:33:36,723 Enjoy it? 649 00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:38,057 I'll sign that cocktail napkin for you now. 650 00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:41,102 No, no. No problem. Here. Got a pen right here. 651 00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:44,439 Okay. Young people are beautiful. 652 00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:45,982 Maybe we oughta tell him. 653 00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:47,734 [ Clears throat ] 654 00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:47,734 Oh. 655 00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:52,155 On second thought, why ruin his day? 656 00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:07,128 There's a language of flowers? 657 00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:08,921 I never heard of that. 658 00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,339 Oh, sure. 659 00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,968 A Daisy is for innocence. 660 00:34:14,051 --> 00:34:19,474 A deep-red carnation means, "alas, my poor heart." 661 00:34:19,557 --> 00:34:23,478 [ Chuckles ] Did you invent this, too? 662 00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:25,813 Am I going to owe you another $3? 663 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:26,856 No. No. 664 00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:30,860 A daffodil means, "best regards." 665 00:34:30,943 --> 00:34:36,157 A striped carnation means, "I refuse your love." 666 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,784 Do me a favor 667 00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:40,661 and don't send me any striped carnations, okay? 668 00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:45,500 White Rose stands for purity... 669 00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:48,252 Or, "am I worthy of your love?" 670 00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:53,007 Which reminds me... 671 00:34:53,090 --> 00:34:56,344 You didn't get your Rose today. 672 00:35:07,146 --> 00:35:09,524 Is something wrong? 673 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:17,365 I'll be all right. 674 00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:20,868 Excuse me. 675 00:35:38,761 --> 00:35:40,054 Oh, Julie. 676 00:35:40,137 --> 00:35:41,055 Yeah? 677 00:35:41,138 --> 00:35:42,682 I want to talk to you. 678 00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:45,184 I'm thinking maybe we should change this poster. 679 00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:47,562 I want to lose that "gopher." It's too undignified. 680 00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:50,273 I mean, have you ever heard of a star named gopher? 681 00:35:50,356 --> 00:35:53,734 I think maybe just "the song stylings of burl Smith, 682 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,528 the man and his music." 683 00:35:55,611 --> 00:35:59,115 I think you should bill yourself as "comedian burl Smith," 684 00:35:59,198 --> 00:36:01,284 or maybe "parodist burl Smith." 685 00:36:02,034 --> 00:36:04,954 That is what you call someone who's doing a takeoff, isn't it, 686 00:36:05,037 --> 00:36:06,122 a parodist? 687 00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:07,957 Uh... 688 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,835 Well, anyway, gopher, whatever you put on that sign, 689 00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,879 you've got the passengers in stitches. 690 00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:14,088 Keep up the good work. 691 00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:28,477 Well...at least I gave you all a good laugh. 692 00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:42,700 Hello. 693 00:36:42,783 --> 00:36:44,785 Good afternoon, Mr. Horner. 694 00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,454 Captain. 695 00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:49,624 You have some special wife and sister-in-law there. 696 00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:51,792 We look forward to seeing them every year. 697 00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:53,127 Uh-huh. 698 00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:55,463 And you must be pretty special yourself, 699 00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,965 giving your wife all the freedom you do. 700 00:36:58,049 --> 00:37:01,636 Well, you know, I was pretty busy the last few years. 701 00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,347 You know, some men are so possessive, 702 00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:07,808 they squelch the joy right out of their marriages. 703 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:09,769 Pretty soon, they, uh... 704 00:37:09,852 --> 00:37:13,481 Well, they've lost the one thing they were trying so hard 705 00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:14,857 to hold on to. 706 00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:16,984 I've seen a lot of couples -- 707 00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:19,320 very few enlightened husbands. 708 00:37:26,118 --> 00:37:28,579 [ Joan and Olivia laughing ] 709 00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:35,628 Uh, Joan... 710 00:37:35,711 --> 00:37:39,507 May I speak with you a minute? 711 00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:41,175 Excuse me. 712 00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:51,686 Well, you've had your minute. Now speak. 713 00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:55,106 I'm trying to find the right words. 714 00:37:55,189 --> 00:37:56,732 It isn't easy. 715 00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:58,651 Well, maybe I can help you. 716 00:37:58,734 --> 00:38:00,361 It's Olivia, right? 717 00:38:00,444 --> 00:38:03,030 You think that because she spent the night with a man 718 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:07,201 that it runs in the family. 719 00:38:07,284 --> 00:38:08,619 Well, Byron, let me tell you, 720 00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:10,371 Olivia acts the way she does on these trips 721 00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:13,541 because Ted doesn't give her a chance at home! 722 00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:15,418 She's miserable! 723 00:38:15,501 --> 00:38:18,004 But she keeps it all locked up inside! 724 00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:21,757 I don't give a damn about Olivia. 725 00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:23,509 It's you I care about, 726 00:38:23,592 --> 00:38:26,387 and if I didn't, I wouldn't feel so jealous all the time. 727 00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:29,223 I'm telling you, Joan, it drives me just about nuts 728 00:38:29,306 --> 00:38:31,892 every time you go on one of these cruises. 729 00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:35,187 I imagine all sorts of things. 730 00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:37,898 I just can't help myself. 731 00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:42,361 Are you asking me whether I've done what Olivia's been doing? 732 00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:48,242 I have to be perfectly honest with you. 733 00:38:50,327 --> 00:38:52,580 The answer's no. 734 00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:57,918 Honestly...never. 735 00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:01,881 Oh, and there were plenty of opportunities. 736 00:39:01,964 --> 00:39:06,052 It could have been dangerous, exciting, and fun. 737 00:39:06,135 --> 00:39:07,094 But the fact is, 738 00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:10,222 I've been waiting to have an affair with you. 739 00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:14,310 With me? 740 00:39:14,393 --> 00:39:18,064 You're all the lover I need, Byron. 741 00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:20,608 Only you're not always there when I need you. 742 00:39:22,693 --> 00:39:25,446 Oh, joanie. 743 00:39:25,529 --> 00:39:27,573 Joanie, I'm sorry. 744 00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:33,746 I love you. 745 00:39:33,829 --> 00:39:36,957 Talk is cheap, Byron. 746 00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:39,126 Let's have a little action. 747 00:39:57,728 --> 00:40:00,981 Janet... 748 00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:05,152 Whatever happened this morning... 749 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:08,280 I'm sorry. 750 00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,991 It's not your fault. 751 00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:17,456 I know this is a cruise ship, and life isn't real here, 752 00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:19,667 but I thought -- 753 00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:23,129 i hoped you were feeling the same things for me 754 00:40:23,212 --> 00:40:25,798 that I've been feeling for you. 755 00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:29,135 I have been, Henry. 756 00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:32,680 That's the whole trouble. 757 00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:35,349 You know, people say, 758 00:40:35,432 --> 00:40:39,895 "just name me one happy married couple." 759 00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:43,232 Well, dick and I were that couple. 760 00:40:43,315 --> 00:40:46,694 He was so thoughtful and kind... 761 00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,988 And good. 762 00:40:49,071 --> 00:40:54,243 And the roses he sent me to show me how much he loved me, 763 00:40:54,326 --> 00:40:56,871 and he's still saying it. 764 00:40:56,954 --> 00:41:01,750 Wouldn't you think that'd be enough for me? 765 00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:05,254 He's still saying it. 766 00:41:05,337 --> 00:41:07,840 Only he's dead. 767 00:41:10,634 --> 00:41:12,845 And I'm alive. 768 00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:15,598 Janet, listen... 769 00:41:15,681 --> 00:41:18,893 I sent them. 770 00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:21,228 What? 771 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:23,898 After your husband died... 772 00:41:23,981 --> 00:41:26,066 I sent the roses. 773 00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:30,070 At first, I did it out of compassion, 774 00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:34,200 because I knew how much he meant to you. 775 00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:38,537 I wanted to help you through your sorrow. 776 00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:47,087 Then I realized... I was sending them for myself. 777 00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:51,217 I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing you every day, 778 00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:55,596 even if it was just to say hello. 779 00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:57,932 I'm sorry. 780 00:41:58,015 --> 00:42:02,269 I didn't mean to hurt you. 781 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:07,358 I wish I could take the roses back. 782 00:42:07,441 --> 00:42:09,944 I'm sorry. 783 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:14,114 I'm really sorry. 784 00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:30,297 [ Knocking on door ] 785 00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:33,592 Julie: Gopher, we know you're in there! 786 00:42:33,676 --> 00:42:36,095 May we come in? 787 00:42:38,597 --> 00:42:39,306 Okay, we're in! 788 00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,392 Gopher, we have to talk to you. 789 00:42:41,475 --> 00:42:43,978 Yeah, you can't hide in here forever, man. 790 00:42:44,061 --> 00:42:46,772 Sorry, gang, the show's over. You can all go home. 791 00:42:46,855 --> 00:42:48,983 Hey, is that any way to talk to the people 792 00:42:49,066 --> 00:42:50,317 who made you a celebrity? 793 00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:53,070 Yeah -- celebrity laughingstock. 794 00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:54,989 Gopher, that's not true. 795 00:42:55,072 --> 00:42:56,448 We're the only ones who know 796 00:42:56,532 --> 00:42:59,326 that you weren't trying to be funny last night. 797 00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,954 Everybody else thought you were wonderfully witty. 798 00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:06,500 Yeah. 799 00:43:06,583 --> 00:43:07,501 Yeah. 800 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:08,502 Yeah? 801 00:43:08,585 --> 00:43:09,503 Yeah. 802 00:43:09,586 --> 00:43:11,964 And we still need somebody to perform tonight. 803 00:43:12,047 --> 00:43:13,507 Oh, no! Unh-unh! 804 00:43:13,590 --> 00:43:15,342 No, no. If I tried that again, 805 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,177 I'd really make a fool out of myself. 806 00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:18,304 Forget it -- no way! 807 00:43:18,387 --> 00:43:20,597 Gopher, just sing -- forget the act, 808 00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:22,725 and just sing "Danny boy" like we heard it. 809 00:43:22,808 --> 00:43:23,892 You'll be great. 810 00:43:23,976 --> 00:43:25,519 No! 811 00:43:25,602 --> 00:43:27,980 From now on, I sing where I'm comfortable -- 812 00:43:28,063 --> 00:43:30,566 in the shower. 813 00:43:30,649 --> 00:43:37,740 ♪ Oh, come ye back when summer's in the Meadow ♪ 814 00:43:37,823 --> 00:43:45,205 ♪ or when the valley's hushed and white with snow ♪ 815 00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:48,250 ♪ 'Tis there I'll be ♪ 816 00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:55,591 ♪ in sunshine or in shadow ♪ 817 00:43:55,674 --> 00:44:01,096 ♪ oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy ♪ 818 00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:07,686 ♪ I love you s-o-o-o-o-o-o ♪ 819 00:44:07,770 --> 00:44:09,313 [ Gargling ] 820 00:44:10,522 --> 00:44:13,233 [ Applause ] 821 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:15,486 [ Jazzy music plays ] 822 00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:32,419 Oh, honey. 823 00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:34,588 I'll go get us some drinks. 824 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:36,965 Mmm. Don't be long. [ Chuckles ] 825 00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:45,933 Well, what's with you two? You look like Romeo and Juliet. 826 00:44:46,016 --> 00:44:49,061 Oh, Olivia, I'm having my first shipboard romance. 827 00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:52,439 Oh, I get it. And you're trying to throw Byron off the track. 828 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:55,150 Nice going. Who's the lucky guy? 829 00:44:55,234 --> 00:44:59,238 No, no. I'm the lucky one. 830 00:44:59,321 --> 00:45:01,615 I'm having an affair with my husband. 831 00:45:01,698 --> 00:45:04,576 With Byron? [ Chuckles ] 832 00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:08,288 Well, they say truth is stranger than fiction. 833 00:45:08,372 --> 00:45:10,290 Olivia, I love him. 834 00:45:10,374 --> 00:45:12,292 Do you love your husband? 835 00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:13,460 Well, sure, but -- 836 00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:14,795 oh, no more excuses. 837 00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:17,798 You know, you can't solve your problems 838 00:45:17,881 --> 00:45:20,968 by playing Suzie swinger one week out of the year. 839 00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:23,929 Wouldn't you rather be swinging with Ted? 840 00:45:24,012 --> 00:45:27,015 I guess so, but Ted would never go for this. 841 00:45:27,099 --> 00:45:29,184 How do you know? Have you ever asked him? 842 00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:30,185 No. 843 00:45:30,269 --> 00:45:32,813 Well, I asked Byron. 844 00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:37,359 He gave me exactly the answer that we needed. 845 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,530 Here we are. 846 00:45:41,613 --> 00:45:43,198 Well, where's my drink? 847 00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:45,451 Oh, I'm sorry, Olivia, I thought -- 848 00:45:45,534 --> 00:45:46,660 I know what you thought, 849 00:45:46,743 --> 00:45:49,037 but you're gonna be stuck with the two of us 850 00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:50,956 for the duration of this cruise. 851 00:45:51,039 --> 00:45:53,834 I know you two are plotting to throw me into the closet again. 852 00:45:53,917 --> 00:45:55,335 We might. 853 00:45:55,419 --> 00:45:58,005 Well, this time, I'm taking you both in there with me. 854 00:45:58,088 --> 00:45:59,506 Whoa-ho! 855 00:46:03,093 --> 00:46:05,012 All right. 856 00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:07,473 [ Chuckles ] 857 00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:20,694 I thought it was time I brought you some flowers for a change. 858 00:46:20,777 --> 00:46:23,530 And "change" is the key word. 859 00:46:23,614 --> 00:46:25,157 Daffodils, hmm? 860 00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:28,410 "Best regards" -- well, it's a start. 861 00:46:28,494 --> 00:46:30,871 That was all they had on the ship. 862 00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:32,331 Mm-hmm. 863 00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:35,209 Oh, and... 864 00:46:37,127 --> 00:46:39,338 $3? 865 00:46:39,421 --> 00:46:42,883 I was hoping they'd play a waltz. 866 00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:44,885 Oh. 867 00:47:08,534 --> 00:47:12,204 Well, Mrs. Horner, I hope you had your usual good time. 868 00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:14,540 Much better than usual this year. 869 00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:16,416 Must have been the food. 870 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,086 And what do yellow roses stand for? 871 00:47:19,169 --> 00:47:20,754 A decrease in love. 872 00:47:20,837 --> 00:47:22,422 No yellow roses for me. 873 00:47:22,506 --> 00:47:24,800 The pink ones? 874 00:47:24,883 --> 00:47:26,093 I don't know. 875 00:47:26,176 --> 00:47:29,429 Well, then, you'd just better find out. 876 00:47:29,513 --> 00:47:32,766 A florist's wife should know those things. 877 00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:34,268 Yes. [ Chuckles ] 878 00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:37,771 Here you go. 879 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:39,565 Oh, Julie, you didn't have to do this. 880 00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:41,066 Well, I wanted to thank you. 881 00:47:41,149 --> 00:47:42,776 You really got me out of a tight spot 882 00:47:42,859 --> 00:47:44,152 by filling in for that singer. 883 00:47:44,236 --> 00:47:45,946 Well... 884 00:47:46,029 --> 00:47:47,781 Hey, you should save the paper. 885 00:47:47,864 --> 00:47:49,783 Is it somebody's birthday? 886 00:47:49,866 --> 00:47:52,953 No, I just wanted to help boost gopher's singing career. 887 00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:55,289 Ohhhh... 888 00:47:55,372 --> 00:47:58,333 I love it! 889 00:47:58,417 --> 00:47:59,960 What is it? 890 00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:01,461 It's a rubber tuxedo 891 00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:04,423 for when you and your shower open in Las Vegas. 892 00:48:04,506 --> 00:48:05,507 [ Laughs ] 893 00:48:05,591 --> 00:48:07,926 Hey, thank you. Thank you.