1 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,547 Love, 2 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:19,017 exciting and new 3 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:23,022 come aboard, 4 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:27,486 we're expecting you. 5 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:31,069 Love, 6 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:35,236 life's sweetest reward. 7 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,956 Let it flow, 8 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:43,458 it floats back to you. 9 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,633 Love boat 10 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:51,633 soon will be making another run. 11 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,678 The love boat 12 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:59,523 promises something for everyone. 13 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,351 Set a course for adventure, 14 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:07,976 your mind on a new romance. 15 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:11,447 Love 16 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:15,329 won't hurt anymore. 17 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:19,288 It's an open smile 18 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:24,000 on a friendly shore. 19 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:28,303 Yes, love 20 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,799 welcome aboard, 21 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:34,181 it's love. 22 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,729 Somehow, eighty-six degrees, 23 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,733 bright sunshine and a smog alert 24 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,525 don't say Christmas to me. 25 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,528 What's missing is snow. 26 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,360 Of course it's missing. 27 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,704 It's eighty six-degrees. 28 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,319 Oh, I sure wish I was up 29 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:56,315 in Oregon with my folks. 30 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:57,327 You know, this is the first 31 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,618 Christmas I've ever spent 32 00:01:58,701 --> 00:01:59,701 without my family. 33 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,366 How do you think I feel? 34 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,084 I never spent Christmas with 35 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,084 your family. 36 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:05,706 But, I know what you mean, 37 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:06,752 Julie. 38 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,795 I mean, Christmas time should be 39 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:09,878 family time. 40 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,553 I would've been in Las Vegas. 41 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:13,632 Nothing more traditional than 42 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,586 Christmas at a crap table. 43 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,387 But it is traditional. 44 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,600 Every year my ex-wives get 45 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,060 together and treat me to a big 46 00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:21,099 Turkey dinner. 47 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,232 Sort of their way of saying 48 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,388 thanks. 49 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,687 We always spend Christmas 50 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,730 at my uncle delmer's farm. 51 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:28,944 We arrive at nine o'clock on 52 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,403 Christmas morning and by ten 53 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,403 we're sitting down to a big 54 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,574 pancake breakfast and syrup. 55 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,903 At eleven o'clock we open the 56 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:35,858 Christmas presents, and then at 57 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,027 one-thirty we all go out for a 58 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,365 walk. 59 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:39,079 By two-thirty everybody's ready 60 00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:40,198 for a nap. 61 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,365 Sounds like fun. 62 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,413 Good morning. 63 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,206 Oh, good morning, sir. 64 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,210 Well, we nap for about an hour or so, 65 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,332 and then at three-thirty, Bob, 66 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:48,838 that's my brother, 67 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:49,748 he takes the kids to 68 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,876 visit the neighbors. 69 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,552 Then at six-fifteen, my aunt 70 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,260 Lillian brings out a big 71 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,930 Christmas goose and we eat 72 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,259 ourselves right into oblivion. 73 00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,264 Then at eight, we drag ourselves 74 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,716 away from the table and... 75 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:03,727 Go to bed? 76 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:04,638 No, then we go caroling 77 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,136 door to door. 78 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,476 Then you go to bed. 79 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,771 No, then we burn the tradi.. 80 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,765 You see, sir, we're all feeling 81 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:11,567 a little homesick about 82 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:13,229 having to spend Christmas aboard. 83 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,568 Really? 84 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,282 I've never done anything else. 85 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,782 Oh, but, sir, wouldn't you 86 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:18,624 rather spend Christmas with 87 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,328 your family than at sea? 88 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:21,988 Miss McCoy, as you know, 89 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,116 I'm divorced. 90 00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,122 My family consists of my father 91 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,794 and his new wife, and they live 92 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:27,923 in Florida. 93 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,079 So, as far as I'm concerned -- 94 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,338 Christmas is just another 95 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:33,299 working day. 96 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,629 -- And speaking of work... 97 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:37,676 All: Right. 98 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:38,799 Yes, sir. 99 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:39,885 Sure. 100 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:40,969 Right. 101 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,524 Sir -- I know that we 102 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,519 don't normally exchange 103 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,980 presents, but I was thinking 104 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,310 that seeing as how we're gonna 105 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,154 be at sea on Christmas day... 106 00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:51,809 Mr. Smith, 107 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,938 a rule is a rule. 108 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,935 No presents. 109 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,947 Aye-aye, sir. 110 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,910 -- Scrooge lives. 111 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:09,955 Good morning,ladies and gentlemen 112 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,001 and welcome to our annual three-day 113 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,535 Christmas voyage to Ensenada. 114 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:18,838 Bon voyage and merry Christmas! 115 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:22,258 Hello. 116 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:26,135 Welcome aboard. 117 00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,184 Hey, Julie. 118 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,636 Look at those two. 119 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:29,596 Five bucks says they're not 120 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:30,686 married. 121 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:31,150 Oh, no way. 122 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,189 They're newlyweds. 123 00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:33,271 Oh please. 124 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,066 They're lovers. 125 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,068 Bet? 126 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,189 Bet. 127 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,695 Oh, darling, this is wonderful. 128 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,568 I'm so glad you brought me on 129 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:41,695 this cruise. 130 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,701 I'm glad I brought you,too. 131 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:44,413 (In his mind)If I didn't bring you, 132 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,752 i would have to kiss you goodbye. 133 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,369 It'll be fun. 134 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,535 Just the two of us at sea. 135 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,544 Oh, yes it will. 136 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,536 Audrey's voice: I'd rather be in 137 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:59,297 a swamp with idi amin. 138 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,382 Newlyweds. 139 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,426 Lovers. 140 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,389 Five big ones. 141 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:05,218 Hi. 142 00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:06,684 We're mr.And Mrs. Baynes. 143 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:07,724 Well, hi, how are you? Hi. 144 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,517 The check's in the mail. 145 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,850 Welcome aboard. 146 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:11,725 This is assistant purser Smith 147 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,231 and I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise 148 00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:13,902 director. 149 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:14,520 How do you do? Welcome aboard. 150 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:14,975 I'm sure you'll enjoy our 151 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,734 Christmas cruise. 152 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,186 Paul's voice: A Christmas cruise 153 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,436 with her. 154 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,237 (Sings) 'Tis the season to be 155 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,570 seasick.' 156 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:22,985 Audrey's voice: And after 157 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,032 Christmas what? 158 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,615 New year's Eve. 159 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:26,740 Oh my god! 160 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:27,906 I'm gonna have to kiss him 161 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,624 again. 162 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,713 And we hope you both 163 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,081 have a wonderful time. 164 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:35,538 Huh? 165 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:35,876 What? 166 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:36,960 I'm sorry. 167 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,755 I guess I was daydreaming. 168 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:39,298 You were saying? 169 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,630 Yes, sir. 170 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,215 I was saying that you're in 171 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:41,969 cabin three-forty-four, 172 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,300 promenade deck. 173 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,885 You'll have to forgive Paul. 174 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,890 He's just so thrilled, he's a 175 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,472 little out of it. 176 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,267 Paul's voice: Out of it? 177 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:52,440 That's what I want. 178 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,148 Out of it! 179 00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,608 And don't forget, our gift shop 180 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,268 will be open if you need 181 00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,265 to buy any last minute presents. 182 00:05:58,357 --> 00:05:59,607 Thanks. 183 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,442 Audrey's voice: Oooo, I hope he 184 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,027 gives me what I want this 185 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:04,611 Christmas -- a divorce. 186 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,317 And I promise I won't exchange 187 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,947 it. 188 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:09,235 Goodbye. 189 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,577 Bye-bye. 190 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,461 Well now, that's what I 191 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,248 call a happily married couple. 192 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,292 I can spot 'em like that. 193 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:20,955 I don't wanna talk about it. 194 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:21,457 Honey? 195 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,547 Uh? 196 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,472 Relax. 197 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:26,261 I can't help it. 198 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,144 I think everyone's staring at me. 199 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,511 I feel like I'm wearing a sign 200 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:30,637 that says 'ex-con.' 201 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:31,643 you've gotta get that out 202 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:32,774 of your head. 203 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:33,640 You're not a criminal. 204 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:34,686 You never were. 205 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:35,809 You were innocent. 206 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,395 I know that and you know that. 207 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,321 Too bad the jury didn't know that. 208 00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:42,149 Honey,i can't erase the last three years. 209 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,235 You got a raw deal. 210 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,989 But that's behind you now. 211 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,321 Let's make a brand new start on 212 00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:48,316 our future, huh? 213 00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:51,117 Okay. 214 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,162 Oh, purser. 215 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,285 Yes, ma'am. 216 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,251 We're mr.And Mrs. Barton. 217 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,501 Ah,welcome aboard. 218 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,132 Now, let's see. 219 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,668 Barton...uh -- aloha deck, 220 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,341 cabin three-fifty-three. 221 00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:00,999 Right through there. 222 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,087 Thank you. 223 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:03,341 Gee, mr.Barton, 224 00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:04,172 you look like you could 225 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,627 use a little sunshine. 226 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:10,466 Probably working too hard, huh? 227 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:11,255 Okay, guys. 228 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:11,847 Now, settle down. 229 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:12,891 Settle down. 230 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,024 Hi, Julie. 231 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,060 Oh, hi! 232 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,693 Welcome aboard, father Mike. 233 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:17,979 It's good to see you again. 234 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,022 Tony, get off that rail. 235 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,516 I ain't on the rail. 236 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,647 No, but you were 237 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,653 thinking about it. 238 00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,645 Julie, I'd like you to meet 239 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,527 Mario, Artie, Ben, Mitch, 240 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,244 peanut... 241 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:30,373 Hi. 242 00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:31,449 And Tony. 243 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,544 Hello. 244 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,578 All: Hi. 245 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:34,831 The first one of 'em 246 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,212 that gives you any lip, 247 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,829 throw 'em over the side. 248 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,665 Well, you guys have fun. 249 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,380 Okay, guys, let's get 250 00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:41,209 going, huh? 251 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,554 Now -- no running, and no 252 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:43,628 pushing, no shoving. 253 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:44,673 And no fighting. 254 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,755 Can we breathe? 255 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,891 Let me think about it. 256 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,096 Was that father Mike? 257 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:53,721 Yes, sir. 258 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:54,596 He brought six kids with him 259 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:55,732 this year. 260 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:56,518 Oh well, I hope they 261 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,561 behave themselves. 262 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,233 Well, sir, they're kids. 263 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,022 They're supposed to have fun. 264 00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:01,645 That's the whole idea of 265 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,691 bringing these orphans on a 266 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,033 holiday. 267 00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,398 Just keep them off the bridge. 268 00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:06,444 Yes, sir. 269 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,777 Oh, did you know that some guy 270 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,163 pays for a bunch of these kids 271 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,409 every year and nobody knows who 272 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:12,530 it is? 273 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,577 Swell. 274 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:14,949 Well, sir, did you ever ask 275 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,746 father Mike who puts up the money? 276 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:18,750 Obviously, somebody 277 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,751 with more dollars than sense. 278 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,424 Well, merry Christmas to you, 279 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,552 too, sir. 280 00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,578 Honey? 281 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:01,915 Huh? 282 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:02,879 Would you like to have 283 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,089 dinner in the cabin tonight? 284 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,918 It's a lot -- cozier than the 285 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:08,633 dining room. 286 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,974 It's okay. 287 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,009 I'm ready to be with people. 288 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,054 Right now I'm the only people 289 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:19,677 I want you to be with. 290 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,517 I never deserved you, Lila 291 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:27,982 -- now even less than before. 292 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,437 Honey, everything's gonna 293 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,488 be all right. 294 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:33,280 When we get back home, you can 295 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,534 make a brand new start. 296 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,486 Sure. 297 00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:38,616 What'll I do? 298 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,003 I'm a lawyer, Lila. 299 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,369 A lawyer who can't practice law. 300 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:47,666 You'll find something. 301 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,053 Yeah, maybe I'll just -- 302 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,170 answer every ad I see for a 303 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,797 convicted embezzler. 304 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:04,809 Hi, merrill. 305 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,805 Oh, hi, father Mike. 306 00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,357 How're the kids? 307 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,191 Oh, they're getting 308 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,225 ready for dinner. 309 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,898 I only had to break up one water 310 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,697 fight and one soap fight. 311 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,070 Well, at least they'll come to 312 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,696 dinner clean. 313 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,453 You're good with kids. 314 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,865 They're just short people. 315 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,374 Maybe that's why you're a priest and 316 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,036 -- I'm a captain. 317 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,546 I understand the sea... 318 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:31,759 People... 319 00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:34,881 Something on your mind? 320 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:35,507 Me? 321 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:39,063 No. 322 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:42,558 Nothing. 323 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,231 "Nothing" can weigh a ton, 324 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,360 can't it? 325 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,268 Well, it's just so silly. 326 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,397 Here I am on a 327 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,203 ship full of people and... 328 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,068 And you're lonely. 329 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,906 Yeah. 330 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,411 And it's Christmas and 331 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,913 -- that's blowing it all outta 332 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,584 proportion. 333 00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:06,792 I told you it was silly. 334 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:07,924 Y'know, that's what 335 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,380 steams me about Christmas. 336 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,750 It's supposed to bring people 337 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,586 closer, 338 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,013 so often it,isolates them. 339 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,851 Look, merrill, you must have 340 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,220 friends on the crew. 341 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:24,887 At best, 342 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:28,305 they tolerate me. 343 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,896 You're not only lonely, 344 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,270 you're -- feeling sorry for 345 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,397 yourself, too. 346 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,783 Hey, you don't 347 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,279 pussyfoot around, do you? 348 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,492 It's part of my charm. 349 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:40,951 Mike, I wanna be friendly with the crew 350 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,123 but I'm the captain. 351 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,292 I mean, I -- I can't be their 352 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,460 friend and lead them, too. 353 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,459 Really? 354 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,132 Well, I don't know. 355 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,669 I -- I heard of this leader once 356 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:56,133 who was a friend to everyone. 357 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,005 Well, he had this technique, he 358 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,592 used, 359 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:01,548 that really helped him 360 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:05,977 to get close to his 'crew'. 361 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,648 -- As I remember, it was something like, 362 00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:12,108 'love thy neighbor as thyself.' 363 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,356 worked so well for him, 364 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,033 they celebrate his 365 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,200 birthday every year. 366 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,659 Right about now. 367 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:22,990 Yeah. 368 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,655 But how do I make that work for 369 00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:25,703 me? 370 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,366 Merrill, your crew does more 371 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,495 than just run this ship. 372 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,042 They have all sorts of interests. 373 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:35,795 Find out about them. 374 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,840 Get involved, and do you know 375 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,632 what the result will be? 376 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:39,966 They'll celebrate my 377 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,180 birthday every year? 378 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:45,641 Right about now? 379 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,733 Only if you were born in December. 380 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:05,660 Are you sure you wouldn't 381 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,203 like a little wine,dear? 382 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,196 Are you silly? 383 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,367 You know I can't stand the taste 384 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,495 of alcohol. 385 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,541 I'll just stick with my iced tea. 386 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,706 Well, here's to us. 387 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:16,754 To us. 388 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:21,591 Paul's voice: How can I ask the 389 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:25,215 poor woman for a divorce? 390 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,934 It would break her heart. 391 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:29,104 She's so much in love with me. 392 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,103 Audrey's voice: Look how he's 393 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,234 looking at me. 394 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:35,360 Like a lovesick puppy. 395 00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:36,269 How can I tell a guy like that 396 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,027 to kiss off? 397 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:39,529 Paul's voice: If I could only 398 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,780 get her to hate me. 399 00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:45,373 Naw -- that's impossible. 400 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,869 I'm too perfect. 401 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,412 Audrey's voice: It's my own fault. 402 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,405 I've made life too pleasant for 403 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:58,247 him. 404 00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,957 What're you looking for? 405 00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,257 Oh -- nothing. 406 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,130 Nothing. 407 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:03,837 Honey, you know someone 408 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:04,886 you oughta call when we get back 409 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:05,929 home? 410 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:09,271 Walter Perry. 411 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,308 Look, darling, let's -- 412 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:13,101 let's just forget about all that. 413 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:13,765 Why, he was more than just 414 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:14,902 your law partner, he was your 415 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:15,559 friend. 416 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:16,976 He never asked for a cent when 417 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:18,114 he defended you. 418 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,860 Oh, I know that. 419 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,032 And he was very good to me 420 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:21,740 while you were away. 421 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,449 He used to call all the time -- 422 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,779 see if I needed any money or 423 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:25,913 anything. 424 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,910 Believe me, Walter Perry is a 425 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:31,082 good friend of yours. 426 00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:31,951 I've gotta get some air. 427 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:32,707 I'll go with you. 428 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:33,788 No! 429 00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:34,872 I -- I have some things to think 430 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,417 about. 431 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,460 I understand. 432 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:41,303 I'll, 433 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,970 be back in five minutes. 434 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,180 Take ten. 435 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:53,141 Hey, man, 436 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,935 what's happening? 437 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:55,599 Excuse me, sir. 438 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,556 I was just on my way up to the 439 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:56,975 lounge. 440 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:57,482 Oh well, well. 441 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,323 I -- I can dig that. 442 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,318 You have to split. 443 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,359 That's cool. 444 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,072 That's cool. 445 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,191 Uh -- well, I'll lay some words 446 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,778 on you later.Give me five. 447 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:13,947 Sir, is your malaria 448 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,288 acting up again? 449 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,792 Listen, I'll go to your quarters 450 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,004 and get your pills for you. 451 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,802 Being a pal isn't gonna be easy. 452 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,393 Excuse me. 453 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,806 I wonder if it's possible for me 454 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:37,854 to cash a traveler's check? 455 00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:38,686 Oh yeah, sure. 456 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,521 I see you didn't leave home 457 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,685 without them. 458 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,315 -- Uh, Walter Perry. 459 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,201 Okay. 460 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,358 Fifty dollar bill okay? 461 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,486 It's fine. 462 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:49,202 There you go. 463 00:15:49,281 --> 00:16:00,041 Thank you. 464 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,125 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! 465 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,210 Don't shake your Christmas 466 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,344 present. 467 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,010 I don't want you to spoil the 468 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,049 surprise. 469 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,171 Paul's voice: Surprise? 470 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,377 I'll bet it's gonna be another 471 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,387 one of those blue ties. 472 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,719 What can it be this year, 473 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,724 darling? 474 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,595 Oh no, I'm not telling. 475 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:16,603 Audrey's voice: I was gonna get 476 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,234 you a monogrammed shirt, but I 477 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,980 forgot your name. 478 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,063 Don't peek at your present 479 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,187 while I'm in there, okay? 480 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,653 Oh no. 481 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,735 Audrey's voice: Another bottle 482 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,203 of that cheap perfume -- 483 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,412 oriental wind. 484 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,413 The only perfume that comes with 485 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,705 a bowl a rice. 486 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,380 Well -- here it comes. 487 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:47,549 (Sound of Paul gargling) 488 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:48,591 And now. 489 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:56,774 (More gargling) 490 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,729 A little louder, they'd abandon ship. 491 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,232 It's all yours, darling. 492 00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:09,236 Thanks, sweetheart. 493 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:12,108 Paul's voice: But please, just 494 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,617 this once, don't sing. 495 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,620 Audrey's voice: Mi, mi, mi, mi, 496 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,752 mi, mi! 497 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:22,328 Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi! 498 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,376 Paul's voice: If we weren't at sea, 499 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:27,299 a moose would answer. 500 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,419 Don't look. 501 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,505 You know what she's gonna look 502 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,760 like. 503 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,772 -- I told ya not to look. 504 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,809 I can't take anymore of this. 505 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,313 But she's got to be the one to 506 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,484 ask for the divorce. 507 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:47,652 Why should I be the heavy? 508 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:48,613 Audrey's voice: I've got to do 509 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,072 something so terrible he'll beg 510 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:52,152 me for a divorce. 511 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,237 But what? 512 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,992 I mean -- he even likes my 513 00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:56,873 singing. 514 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:02,832 Goodnight, sweetheart. 515 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,125 Goodnight, darling. 516 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,557 Oh, captain! 517 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:19,639 Well, you see, I just had a few 518 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:20,683 minutes and I thought I'd do a 519 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,976 little needlepoint, but -- well, 520 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,189 I can see my two minutes are up 521 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,348 and I'd better go! 522 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:27,226 It's very pretty. 523 00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:31,194 Well -- thank you. 524 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,356 You know, a lot of men 525 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,494 do needlepoint. 526 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:34,530 Even football players. 527 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,373 Do you think that maybe you could, 528 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,578 teach me how to do it? 529 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:43,370 Ah -- sure, sir. 530 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,495 Some other time. 531 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:47,501 Well, what about now? 532 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:48,544 Okay. 533 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,917 Uh -- well, you see, you take 534 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,554 the needle and you put it in 535 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,474 this hole and then bring it down 536 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:03,682 -- through here -- and down like 537 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:04,057 that. 538 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,523 I see. 539 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,272 And that's a stitch. 540 00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,903 Well, thank you. 541 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,113 -- Like this? 542 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:18,235 Perfect. 543 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,623 Well look, why don't I 544 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,990 -- get a kit and -- maybe you 545 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,747 and I could work on it together. 546 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,121 Here, take mine. 547 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,877 You know, to tell you the truth, 548 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,379 needlepoint bores me stiff. 549 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,301 I got to go. 550 00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,635 Merrill, you're supposed 551 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,761 to get involved with your crew. 552 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,308 Not stand around doing 553 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,941 needlepoint. 554 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:10,626 Oh, I already have a drink. 555 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:14,499 Well, you can't have too many. 556 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,918 That looks delicious. 557 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,296 Can I have some more of it? 558 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,432 As many as you like. 559 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,469 As long as you promise not to 560 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,643 drive back to your cabin. 561 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,431 We'll take a cab. 562 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,604 Thanks. 563 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:28,814 Here you go, sir -- 564 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,944 guaranteed to bring on a smile. 565 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:32,482 Thanks. 566 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,324 Keep the change. 567 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:33,978 See? 568 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,986 I told you it was guaranteed. 569 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,319 Sure you won't have one? 570 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,453 Hello, Walt. 571 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,002 Dan! 572 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,330 I -- I... 573 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,167 At a loss for words, 574 00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:55,001 counselor? 575 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,377 I never thought I'd see the day. 576 00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:57,844 Well, no. 577 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,013 It's just that I, 578 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,472 i thought that you were still in... 579 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,392 In prison. 580 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:06,852 No, you see, I was paroled last 581 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,182 week. 582 00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:10,186 You know, good behavior and that 583 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,269 sort a thing. 584 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,353 Walt! 585 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,437 Lila! 586 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,402 We were just talking about 587 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:15,692 you last night! 588 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:16,984 Really? 589 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:21,527 -- Well, I just can't get over 590 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:22,573 this. 591 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:23,696 It's great. 592 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:24,782 It's just great. 593 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,866 Yes, it's great. 594 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:30,540 Well, we're gonna have a 595 00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,672 lot to talk about, huh? 596 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,039 Unfortunately, I made an 597 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,536 appointment with the barber -- 598 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:37,047 and you know how they are if you 599 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,419 keep them waiting, 600 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,715 no sideburns. 601 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:41,879 But look -- promise me that 602 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,217 we'll get together later, okay? 603 00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:43,721 Promise? 604 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:48,722 Huh? 605 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,227 -- Gee, this is really a 606 00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:51,268 surprise. 607 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,021 Fantastic! 608 00:21:59,317 --> 00:22:00,067 He acted a little strange, 609 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,742 didn't he? 610 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:05,910 Well, dear, he's a strange guy. 611 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:06,581 It's not everybody that would 612 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:08,538 let his supposed best friend go 613 00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:11,578 to jail for a crime he commited. 614 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,423 Walt?! 615 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:13,868 Yes, Walt. 616 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:14,917 Oh no. 617 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,630 Lila, I had three years to 618 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:17,750 think about it. 619 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:20,256 I went over every detail of that 620 00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:21,628 trial, night after night. 621 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,755 I memorized the transcript. 622 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,262 It always ended up to just one name, 623 00:22:26,344 --> 00:22:30,184 good, old Walt Perry. 624 00:22:30,265 --> 00:22:31,515 Dan, you can't be sure. 625 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,730 I wasn't. 626 00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:35,401 Until now. 627 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:36,689 I had to see him face to face. 628 00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,442 I had to see it in his eyes. 629 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:42,904 Now I know. 630 00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:47,116 And he knows I know. 631 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,579 How much is this one? 632 00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:49,948 Forty-eight dollars. 633 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,655 Oh, way too expensive. 634 00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:53,455 Thanks anyway. 635 00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:54,618 Now, you're the kinda woman 636 00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:57,916 I shoulda married. 637 00:22:58,001 --> 00:22:58,791 I beg your pardon? 638 00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,297 Well, my last wife never 639 00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:02,088 asked the price of anything. 640 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:04,342 Is that why you divorced her? 641 00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:05,474 It was either the divorce courts 642 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,970 or the bankruptcy courts. 643 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,973 Oh, so she spent you 644 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,095 into divorce. 645 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:12,141 Let me put it this way. 646 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:12,814 If she didn't show up at 647 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:14,311 Tiffany's once a week, they'd 648 00:23:14,392 --> 00:23:16,352 send her a get well card. 649 00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:20,976 Oh -- well, thanks for the tip. 650 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,026 I mean, the warning. 651 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:24,690 -- Miss, do you sell jewelry? 652 00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:26,818 What kind? 653 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:28,815 Expensive! 654 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:32,865 I just can't get over it, 655 00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:34,833 Claire, you look fantastic. 656 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:36,503 Well, I should. 657 00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:37,541 I just lost a hundred and sixty 658 00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:38,674 pounds. 659 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,670 I divorced George. 660 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,343 You divorced George? 661 00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:45,011 Why? 662 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,180 The things he did. 663 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,639 I don't wanna talk about it. 664 00:23:48,718 --> 00:23:50,678 Oh, you can tell me. 665 00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:52,062 No, I can't. 666 00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:52,719 Paul's voice: For Pete's sake, 667 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:53,846 tell her. 668 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,392 All right, I'll tell you. 669 00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:57,935 Thanks. 670 00:23:58,019 --> 00:23:59,149 Every time we went out 671 00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,729 he would embarrass me. 672 00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:01,984 He'd have a couple of drinks and 673 00:24:02,065 --> 00:24:03,015 he thought he was the life of 674 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,068 the party. 675 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,651 It was like being married to the 676 00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:06,695 gong show. 677 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:08,818 Did George drink too much? 678 00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:10,195 Judge for yourself. 679 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,532 At my uncle's funeral, he wore a 680 00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:16,197 black lampshade. 681 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,538 Honey, don't ever marry a man 682 00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:20,922 who drinks. 683 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,041 Say pal, could you tell me 684 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,167 the way to the nearest bar? 685 00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:27,014 Thanks. 686 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:28,840 Oh no, doc, up a little higher. 687 00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:30,635 A little higher, yeah. 688 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,389 Now to the right. 689 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:33,101 Up here? 690 00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,890 No, more to the right. 691 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:36,393 Down two needles. 692 00:24:36,474 --> 00:24:39,194 To the left. 693 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:41,189 No, no, more to the left, doc. 694 00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:42,361 I don't know. 695 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:43,399 Something's off-center. 696 00:24:43,481 --> 00:24:44,731 You're off-center. 697 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:46,026 I know what it is. 698 00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:47,359 We forgot to hang an angel on 699 00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:47,864 the tree. 700 00:24:47,944 --> 00:24:51,034 How about a purser? 701 00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:53,744 Man does not appreciate art. 702 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,905 Father, you know a lot of jokes. 703 00:24:55,994 --> 00:24:57,584 Well, I don't think Vegas is 704 00:24:57,662 --> 00:24:58,462 ready for me, merrill. 705 00:24:58,538 --> 00:24:59,578 No, no, no. 706 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,874 You know, my crew is always 707 00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:02,877 telling jokes and I thought that 708 00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:04,089 if there was a joke that I could 709 00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,299 come up with... 710 00:25:06,379 --> 00:25:08,419 Oh, I get it. 711 00:25:08,506 --> 00:25:09,466 Well, let's see. 712 00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:11,639 Oh, well, the bishop told me a 713 00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:13,798 couple a great ones. 714 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:14,637 But I don't think your 715 00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:17,931 crew speaks Latin. 716 00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:19,226 How about this? 717 00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:21,769 This martian comes down from 718 00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:24,063 space and he lands right in the 719 00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:25,607 middle of the desert, next to 720 00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,820 this beat up old saloon. 721 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:30,151 Well, he goes in and the first 722 00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:32,157 thing he sees is the pinball 723 00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:33,279 machine. 724 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:34,945 Well, the lights are flashing 725 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:35,953 and the bells are ringing like 726 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:37,294 crazy. 727 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,499 So,the martian goes over to 728 00:25:39,579 --> 00:25:42,829 it and he says, 'hey,sweeheart, 729 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:44,076 what's a pretty girl like you 730 00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:46,497 doing in a place like this?' 731 00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:52,758 Funny. 732 00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:54,472 Well, it is even funnier 733 00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:56,892 in Latin. 734 00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:59,682 All right, I'll try it. 735 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:00,806 Okay, guys. 736 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:01,852 Time to get down to some serious 737 00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:02,975 business here. 738 00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:03,521 Who's gonna be Santa claus 739 00:26:03,603 --> 00:26:04,853 tonight? 740 00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:05,478 Oh, well, I don't think 741 00:26:05,563 --> 00:26:06,613 there's anything to decide. 742 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,190 It is my turn. 743 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:09,315 You? 744 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,361 A woman can't be Santa claus. 745 00:26:11,444 --> 00:26:12,034 Well, why not? 746 00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:13,152 I thought this was supposed to 747 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,658 be an equal opportunity holiday. 748 00:26:14,739 --> 00:26:15,989 Okay. 749 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,494 Lay a 'ho-ho-ho' on us. 750 00:26:17,575 --> 00:26:19,695 Ok. 751 00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:23,496 'Ho-ho-ho'. 752 00:26:23,581 --> 00:26:25,461 No, the world's not ready 753 00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,172 for a soprano Santa claus. 754 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:28,672 Well,it's coming 755 00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:31,173 along very well, guys. 756 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:32,916 Which reminds me of this great 757 00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:34,008 joke. 758 00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:36,012 It's Christmas time one year and 759 00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:37,354 this martian lands in the 760 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,349 desert, and he goes up to this 761 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:40,471 old bar. 762 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:42,517 It's really beat up, you know? 763 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,390 And the first thing he sees is a 764 00:26:44,477 --> 00:26:46,057 pinball machine and he goes over 765 00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:47,856 and well, the lights were 766 00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,359 flashing, the bells were going 767 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,861 and everything and well he says to it, 768 00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:53,492 he says,now get this. 769 00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:56,410 He says, 'hiya, sweetheart, 770 00:26:56,489 --> 00:26:57,869 what's a pinball machine doing 771 00:26:57,949 --> 00:27:00,039 in a nice place like this? 772 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:13,550 It was even funnier in Latin. 773 00:27:13,631 --> 00:27:14,551 Okay, let's get back to 774 00:27:14,632 --> 00:27:15,592 reality. 775 00:27:15,675 --> 00:27:17,175 Who's gonna play Santa claus? 776 00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:18,220 Me. 777 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,893 I'm the perfect Santa. 778 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,721 I own the Santa suit. 779 00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:26,346 So -- I'm Santa. 780 00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:30,396 Good luck, sir. 781 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:33,232 Well -- how am I doing? 782 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:34,738 Merrill, there are ways 783 00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:37,069 of joining in, 784 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:41,865 and ways of joining in. 785 00:27:41,951 --> 00:27:43,581 That bad, huh? 786 00:27:43,661 --> 00:27:45,121 Worse. 787 00:28:06,309 --> 00:28:07,889 Hey well, merry Christmas, crew. 788 00:28:07,977 --> 00:28:09,057 Merry Christmas. 789 00:28:13,316 --> 00:28:14,896 Uhh,isaac,what's in this? 790 00:28:14,984 --> 00:28:18,784 Fruit juice and rum. Made from an old secret recipe. 791 00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:21,373 What's the secret? 792 00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:30,462 I'll have a re-fill. 793 00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:33,342 Oh sure golpher. 794 00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:43,846 Fruit juice. 795 00:28:43,930 --> 00:28:45,470 Back to the drawing board. 796 00:28:51,771 --> 00:28:52,611 Dan? 797 00:28:52,689 --> 00:28:54,649 Uh? 798 00:28:54,732 --> 00:28:56,192 Honey is Christmas Eve. 799 00:28:56,276 --> 00:29:00,816 Just for tonight, let's forget about Walter Perry, 800 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:02,485 and the world and everything. 801 00:29:02,574 --> 00:29:06,954 Let's make this the best Christmas Eve ever. 802 00:29:07,036 --> 00:29:09,576 All right. 803 00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:21,888 This sure beats an electric train. 804 00:29:21,968 --> 00:29:24,548 Hey, do you want to exchange gifts now? 805 00:29:24,637 --> 00:29:28,017 We do, we'll never make that party. 806 00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:31,019 Oh, come on. 807 00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:34,482 Ok, let's go. 808 00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:36,694 Uh, I get you a handkerchief for your.. 809 00:29:36,774 --> 00:29:37,154 Oh, I'll get it. 810 00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,943 This all right. 811 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,277 Dan! 812 00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:48,235 Oh my god. 813 00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:49,158 No. 814 00:29:49,245 --> 00:29:52,245 Dan, 815 00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:57,382 you knew Walter Perry was going to be on board, didn't you? 816 00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:00,382 You came here for revenge. 817 00:30:04,385 --> 00:30:05,675 Look Lily, 818 00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:10,271 this is my business. 819 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:11,890 Your business? 820 00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:13,726 Whay about me? 821 00:30:13,811 --> 00:30:15,611 You weren't the only one in jail for three years. 822 00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:19,528 I was in a prison of my own. 823 00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:23,239 What do you think was like without you? 824 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:25,531 Dan, 825 00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:29,695 if you love me, don't do this. 826 00:30:29,786 --> 00:30:31,366 You know I love you. 827 00:30:31,454 --> 00:30:36,084 You kill him, you kill us. 828 00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:38,797 Please,dan. 829 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:05,316 Issac, 830 00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:07,115 removed the dead soldier and open me a new 831 00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:08,948 recruit. 832 00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:10,953 Sure. 833 00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:12,285 Mr.baynes. 834 00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:13,000 I thought you said you 835 00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:13,829 were a teetotaler. 836 00:31:13,913 --> 00:31:15,673 Me? 837 00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:19,378 I musta been drunk when I said it. 838 00:31:19,460 --> 00:31:22,460 Isaac, what color lampshade goes 839 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:23,967 with this outfit I'm wearing? 840 00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:24,758 I don't know. 841 00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:26,381 What color are your socks? 842 00:31:36,436 --> 00:31:38,476 Audrey, is -- is that you? 843 00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:39,023 Never mind me. 844 00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:40,315 Since when did you start 845 00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:41,938 drinking? 846 00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:43,315 I can't remember. 847 00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:45,451 I'm drinking to forget. 848 00:31:45,528 --> 00:31:46,648 How much have you had? 849 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,698 Plenty! 850 00:31:51,701 --> 00:31:53,331 Say what's all this gonna cost? 851 00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:54,751 Plenty! 852 00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:01,499 Boy, I hope I'm seeing double. 853 00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:02,876 You're going to be seeing triple 854 00:32:02,962 --> 00:32:03,502 when we get to the room, 855 00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:04,668 because I have a whole lotta 856 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:05,836 new stuff down there. 857 00:32:05,923 --> 00:32:09,263 You expect me to pay for this? 858 00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:12,314 You got it, ace. 859 00:32:12,388 --> 00:32:15,348 Uh -- dear, isn't there 860 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,143 something you forgot to ask me 861 00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:18,346 for? 862 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:20,896 It starts with a 'd'. 863 00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:33,870 Yeah, you wanna dance. 864 00:32:33,951 --> 00:32:44,341 Yeah, you wanna dance. 865 00:32:44,420 --> 00:32:45,840 Something you wanna ask me? 866 00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:47,172 Yes. 867 00:32:47,256 --> 00:32:48,506 Get off my foot! 868 00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,232 More punch? 869 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:00,560 Yeah. 870 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:01,895 But this time -- tell him to put 871 00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:04,019 a little fruit juice in it. 872 00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:06,897 Okay. 873 00:33:06,984 --> 00:33:07,784 You're complaining to me 874 00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:10,240 about a bad bridge partner? 875 00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:11,571 You're lucky. 876 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,526 You know, I once had a law partner. 877 00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:16,406 He stole every penny the firm had. 878 00:33:16,494 --> 00:33:17,414 Of course, he went to prison. 879 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:18,445 Well, at least, he had to 880 00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:19,748 pay for it. 881 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,001 Yeah, he paid. 882 00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:31,631 So, where's Santa? 883 00:33:31,718 --> 00:33:33,088 He's supposed to be here by now. 884 00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:33,967 Well, maybe his reindeers 885 00:33:34,053 --> 00:33:34,513 are having a little trouble with 886 00:33:34,595 --> 00:33:35,755 their radar equipment. 887 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:36,427 Yeah, that blitzen is a 888 00:33:36,514 --> 00:33:37,894 lousy navigator. 889 00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:50,946 Ho! 890 00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:52,068 Ho! 891 00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:53,605 Ho! 892 00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:54,738 No. 893 00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:55,914 No. 894 00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:58,452 No. 895 00:33:58,536 --> 00:33:59,496 Ho! 896 00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:00,619 Ho! 897 00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:02,455 Ho! 898 00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:04,330 Merry Christmas, everybody! 899 00:34:07,336 --> 00:34:08,296 Ho! 900 00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:09,629 Ho! 901 00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:10,674 Ho!... 902 00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:11,377 I've never seen the captain 903 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:12,466 look better. 904 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:15,340 Who writes his dialogue? 905 00:34:15,428 --> 00:34:17,308 Well now, let's see 906 00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:19,018 what Santa has in his bag 907 00:34:19,098 --> 00:34:20,138 tonight. 908 00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:22,104 Let's see... 909 00:34:22,185 --> 00:34:23,135 Well, yes. 910 00:34:23,227 --> 00:34:24,437 There's something for Mario. 911 00:34:28,524 --> 00:34:31,534 Something for Artie, yes. 912 00:34:34,530 --> 00:34:35,490 Let's see. 913 00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:38,993 And...and Ben. 914 00:34:40,953 --> 00:34:43,833 Let's see what we have here. 915 00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:44,955 Oh, yes. 916 00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:46,671 For Mitch. 917 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:50,881 And for peanut. 918 00:34:50,963 --> 00:34:52,473 What's your real name peanut? 919 00:34:52,548 --> 00:34:53,508 Shorty. 920 00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:54,381 Right! 921 00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:59,347 I'll bet it's a baseball mitt. 922 00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:01,470 What about me? 923 00:35:01,557 --> 00:35:02,517 Oh. 924 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,560 Uh -- you're...? 925 00:35:04,644 --> 00:35:06,194 Tony. 926 00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:07,520 Tony, that's right. 927 00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:08,055 Yes. 928 00:35:08,147 --> 00:35:11,227 Well now -- let's see. 929 00:35:11,317 --> 00:35:12,357 Tony... 930 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:16,283 Oh -- oh, 931 00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:24,164 Tony it seems that Santa is 932 00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:27,707 short one present. 933 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:28,882 It's back at the north pole. 934 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,210 That's where your present is. 935 00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:31,384 Now look, I'll run back. 936 00:35:31,462 --> 00:35:32,712 I'll get it. 937 00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,047 And -- I'll have it in your 938 00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,382 cabin first thing in the 939 00:35:35,466 --> 00:35:39,176 morning. 940 00:35:39,262 --> 00:35:40,932 Tony... 941 00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:47,896 Oh, no. 942 00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:51,649 Poor captain stubing. 943 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:19,761 San Quentin never had a view like that one. 944 00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:21,224 Dan, my boy! 945 00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:22,684 Well, I've been lookin' all over 946 00:36:22,763 --> 00:36:23,763 for you. 947 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:24,808 Really? 948 00:36:24,891 --> 00:36:27,771 Out in the ocean? 949 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:28,692 Hey, you always were a 950 00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:33,269 great kidder. 951 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:36,277 I'm not kidding now, Walt. 952 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:40,240 Hey, wait a minute. 953 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:43,203 Hey, don't do anything foolish. 954 00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:44,164 I've already done something 955 00:36:44,243 --> 00:36:45,493 foolish. 956 00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:47,498 I served three years in prison 957 00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:52,290 for something you did, buddy. 958 00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:53,586 Dan, you-you've gotta believe me. 959 00:36:53,669 --> 00:36:55,959 I didn't want it to happen. 960 00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:58,167 It wasn't my fault. 961 00:36:58,257 --> 00:37:00,637 I took the money, I admit it. 962 00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:01,338 I was in trouble in the market. 963 00:37:01,427 --> 00:37:02,007 It was serious trouble. 964 00:37:02,094 --> 00:37:03,474 And I really needed that money 965 00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:05,514 desperately. 966 00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:06,808 You set me up. 967 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:09,691 No, I swear I didn't. 968 00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:10,649 Oh look, Dan, I never thought 969 00:37:10,728 --> 00:37:12,098 that you'd be convicted. 970 00:37:12,188 --> 00:37:12,768 I always thought I could win you 971 00:37:12,855 --> 00:37:13,725 an acquittal, and that way no 972 00:37:13,814 --> 00:37:17,154 one would be hurt. 973 00:37:17,234 --> 00:37:20,154 Somebody was hurt, Walt. 974 00:37:20,237 --> 00:37:22,197 Dan,please... 975 00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:27,750 Please? 976 00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,612 Merry Christmas. 977 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:12,496 Dan? 978 00:38:12,581 --> 00:38:13,541 Goodnight, everybody. 979 00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:17,344 Merry Christmas. 980 00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:20,090 Bye. 981 00:38:20,172 --> 00:38:21,722 Father, did you find Tony yet? 982 00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:22,549 Not yet. 983 00:38:22,633 --> 00:38:23,343 Oh. 984 00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:23,926 Well, we'll help you look for him. 985 00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:24,590 Okay? 986 00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:25,387 Thanks. 987 00:38:25,469 --> 00:38:26,969 Yeah. 988 00:38:37,648 --> 00:38:39,358 Tony? 989 00:38:45,322 --> 00:38:47,372 Where are you? 990 00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:03,546 Tony? 991 00:39:03,632 --> 00:39:04,592 Go away! 992 00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:06,925 You blew it! 993 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:07,971 Yes. 994 00:39:08,054 --> 00:39:10,514 Yes, I did. 995 00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:13,558 I apologize. 996 00:39:13,642 --> 00:39:14,852 Come here. 997 00:39:18,856 --> 00:39:21,316 This is for you. 998 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:22,440 Honest? 999 00:39:22,526 --> 00:39:22,776 Uh-huh. 1000 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:26,160 Gee, thanks! 1001 00:39:26,238 --> 00:39:27,068 It's the football I asked 1002 00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:28,946 for, isn't it? 1003 00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,083 No. 1004 00:39:30,159 --> 00:39:31,789 No, I'm sorry, it's not. 1005 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:34,119 Uh, 1006 00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:34,995 it's a sextant. 1007 00:39:35,081 --> 00:39:37,831 It's an instrument they use to 1008 00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:40,627 navigate the ship. 1009 00:39:40,711 --> 00:39:42,631 It belonged to the captain and 1010 00:39:42,713 --> 00:39:46,133 his father before him. 1011 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,177 See? 1012 00:39:47,259 --> 00:39:51,599 You put in there. 1013 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,980 By holding it up to the stars, 1014 00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,639 they could always tell where 1015 00:39:56,727 --> 00:40:00,147 they were going. 1016 00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:01,481 The captain used it in the 1017 00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:05,105 second world war. 1018 00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:08,034 I know it's kinda beat up but, 1019 00:40:08,114 --> 00:40:11,874 this sextant means a lot to him. 1020 00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:16,711 He wants you to have it. 1021 00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:17,499 I'm sorry it's not what you 1022 00:40:17,581 --> 00:40:21,461 asked for. 1023 00:40:21,544 --> 00:40:22,844 Sometimes we don't get what we 1024 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,840 want for Christmas. 1025 00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:26,172 No. 1026 00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:27,507 I used to ask for parents, but I 1027 00:40:27,591 --> 00:40:30,801 never got 'em. 1028 00:40:30,886 --> 00:40:32,466 Well, that's,2 1029 00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:35,675 a big order, for Santa to fill. 1030 00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:36,846 It don't matter. 1031 00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:38,854 I don't need a family. 1032 00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:41,516 I got a real big one with father 1033 00:40:41,605 --> 00:40:44,275 Mike and the guys. 1034 00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:49,197 Yeah. 1035 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,320 It's neat. 1036 00:40:50,406 --> 00:40:54,696 Wait'll I show the guys! 1037 00:40:54,785 --> 00:40:55,735 Thanks, captain. 1038 00:40:55,828 --> 00:40:58,458 I mean, Santa. 1039 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:14,431 We're home. 1040 00:41:14,513 --> 00:41:15,183 You can take off your lampshade 1041 00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:17,894 now. 1042 00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:19,225 Is that all you bought? 1043 00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,060 Why didn't you fill the whole 1044 00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:20,734 room? 1045 00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:21,851 I couldn't. 1046 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:23,017 Your credit card broke. 1047 00:41:23,105 --> 00:41:24,395 That means I'll have to 1048 00:41:24,481 --> 00:41:27,111 pay cash for my lampshades. 1049 00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:28,403 This is just the start. 1050 00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:29,565 Because I'm gonna buy all new 1051 00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:30,863 furniture for the living room. 1052 00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:32,236 Then I'll buy matching 1053 00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,573 whoopie cushions. 1054 00:41:33,657 --> 00:41:35,197 And a brand new rolls Royce. 1055 00:41:35,284 --> 00:41:36,914 Okay, then every morning 1056 00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:37,624 I'll go down to the office in a 1057 00:41:37,703 --> 00:41:41,753 clown suit. 1058 00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:42,922 You know something? 1059 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,040 No, what? 1060 00:41:44,126 --> 00:41:45,286 You're funny. 1061 00:41:45,377 --> 00:41:46,747 You know something? 1062 00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:49,917 You're very beautiful. 1063 00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:51,877 Aw, put on your lampshade 1064 00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:55,677 and give me a kiss. 1065 00:42:15,908 --> 00:42:17,868 All: Merry Christmas, captain. 1066 00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:20,450 What? 1067 00:42:20,538 --> 00:42:22,708 What is this? 1068 00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:24,380 Well, frankly, captain, we 1069 00:42:24,458 --> 00:42:25,788 were feeling kind of sorry for 1070 00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:26,836 ourselves. 1071 00:42:26,919 --> 00:42:28,629 Oh, you know, sir. 1072 00:42:28,712 --> 00:42:29,302 I mean, it's fun to spend 1073 00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:30,630 Christmas with the passengers, 1074 00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:32,804 but -- it's not the same as 1075 00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:36,183 spending it with your family. 1076 00:42:36,262 --> 00:42:37,972 And then we got to thinking, 1077 00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:38,635 well we don't just 1078 00:42:38,722 --> 00:42:42,812 have one family, we've got two. 1079 00:42:42,893 --> 00:42:44,443 And -- well, you're not 1080 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,480 just the captain to us, sir. 1081 00:42:46,563 --> 00:42:48,823 You're the head of the family. 1082 00:42:48,899 --> 00:42:49,859 Our family. 1083 00:42:49,942 --> 00:42:51,322 And why shouldn't our 1084 00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:54,612 family spend Christmas together? 1085 00:42:58,867 --> 00:43:01,157 You see, 1086 00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:04,495 sometimes we try too hard to, 1087 00:43:04,581 --> 00:43:07,381 get what,we've had all along. 1088 00:43:16,385 --> 00:43:19,045 I,i think that i'm 1089 00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:22,518 allergic to this beard. 1090 00:43:25,769 --> 00:43:27,559 I want to say something to all 1091 00:43:27,646 --> 00:43:29,686 of you. 1092 00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:31,823 I'm proud to have you on my 1093 00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:34,990 crew. 1094 00:43:35,070 --> 00:43:37,870 I'm even prouder, 1095 00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:41,868 to count you among my friends. 1096 00:43:41,952 --> 00:43:43,582 Oh, this darn beard. 1097 00:43:43,662 --> 00:43:46,372 Sir,this is for you. 1098 00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:49,537 It's from all of us. 1099 00:43:49,626 --> 00:43:52,046 I -- I thought we had a 1100 00:43:52,129 --> 00:43:53,089 rule that we'd never exchange 1101 00:43:53,172 --> 00:43:54,212 Christmas presents. 1102 00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:55,008 Oh, sir, we thought just 1103 00:43:55,090 --> 00:43:56,050 this once. 1104 00:43:56,133 --> 00:44:01,183 A rule is a rule, Mr. Smith. 1105 00:44:01,263 --> 00:44:05,643 But sometimes rules were made 1106 00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:10,106 to be broken. 1107 00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:12,069 Merry Christmas! 1108 00:44:12,149 --> 00:44:13,569 Why, thank you, sir. 1109 00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:14,030 Merry Christmas. 1110 00:44:14,109 --> 00:44:17,699 Thank you, sir. 1111 00:44:47,684 --> 00:44:49,064 Come on, everybody. 1112 00:44:49,144 --> 00:45:01,454 (Passengers sing 'Noel.') 1113 00:45:07,413 --> 00:45:08,503 Very beautiful, mrs.Baynes. 1114 00:45:08,580 --> 00:45:10,750 Thank you very much. 1115 00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:12,793 Oh boy, I can taste that 1116 00:45:12,876 --> 00:45:13,836 Turkey already. 1117 00:45:13,919 --> 00:45:15,629 Didn't you tell him? 1118 00:45:15,712 --> 00:45:17,632 Oh, the captain said there might 1119 00:45:17,714 --> 00:45:18,264 be some rain and he wondered if 1120 00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:20,010 you'd mind going topside and 1121 00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:20,972 changing the regular flags for 1122 00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:22,931 the rubber flags. 1123 00:45:27,182 --> 00:45:28,732 Rubber flags? 1124 00:45:34,815 --> 00:45:38,315 Good evening. 1125 00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:39,362 There's the captain's table, 1126 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,815 over there. 1127 00:45:41,905 --> 00:45:44,315 Dan! 1128 00:45:44,408 --> 00:45:45,778 Get lost, Perry. 1129 00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:46,578 I've gotta talk to you. 1130 00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:47,830 Honey... 1131 00:45:47,911 --> 00:45:49,371 It's all right, sweetheart. 1132 00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:50,405 Now look, you've done everything 1133 00:45:50,497 --> 00:45:51,497 you can do. 1134 00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:53,542 And just stay away from me. 1135 00:45:53,625 --> 00:45:55,165 Keep outta my life. 1136 00:45:55,252 --> 00:45:56,802 Dan listen, you gave me a 1137 00:45:56,879 --> 00:45:59,469 gift last night,my life. 1138 00:45:59,548 --> 00:46:00,048 Now, I wanna give you something 1139 00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:04,222 in return. 1140 00:46:04,303 --> 00:46:05,853 I,I've contacted the 1141 00:46:05,929 --> 00:46:08,679 police in Los Angeles. 1142 00:46:08,765 --> 00:46:09,475 When we get back I'm gonna turn 1143 00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:11,188 myself in, 1144 00:46:11,268 --> 00:46:14,018 make a full confession. 1145 00:46:14,104 --> 00:46:17,194 And -- I also wrote to the state 1146 00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,404 bar commission. 1147 00:46:19,485 --> 00:46:20,065 You'll be practicing law again 1148 00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:21,322 very soon. 1149 00:46:25,282 --> 00:46:29,412 Walt, thank you. 1150 00:46:29,495 --> 00:46:31,655 Merry Christmas, Dan. 1151 00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:36,877 Merry Christmas. 1152 00:46:42,132 --> 00:46:43,092 Good evening. 1153 00:46:43,175 --> 00:46:44,215 Good evening. 1154 00:46:44,301 --> 00:46:44,891 Merry Christmas. 1155 00:46:44,968 --> 00:46:45,388 Good evening. 1156 00:46:45,469 --> 00:46:46,469 Hi. 1157 00:46:46,553 --> 00:46:47,553 Beautiful dress. 1158 00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:49,808 Thank you. 1159 00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:54,899 It's a beautiful table. 1160 00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:57,018 It's a beautiful life. 1161 00:46:57,105 --> 00:46:58,225 Father lewicki, some of the 1162 00:46:58,315 --> 00:46:59,935 guys collected some stuff you 1163 00:47:00,025 --> 00:47:01,735 might like at the orphanage. 1164 00:47:01,818 --> 00:47:02,778 Sports equipment, books, stuff 1165 00:47:02,861 --> 00:47:03,901 like that... 1166 00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:04,947 All right! 1167 00:47:05,030 --> 00:47:06,070 Wow! 1168 00:47:06,156 --> 00:47:07,566 We'd love it... 1169 00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:08,698 Thanks. 1170 00:47:08,784 --> 00:47:09,794 Well, where do we send it, father. 1171 00:47:09,868 --> 00:47:11,078 Give it to the captain. 1172 00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:12,081 He can bring it when he comes 1173 00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:14,002 next time. 1174 00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,081 Captain stubing? 1175 00:47:15,165 --> 00:47:16,035 Yes. 1176 00:47:16,124 --> 00:47:17,214 He comes every month. 1177 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:19,212 No, he-he must have me confused 1178 00:47:19,294 --> 00:47:21,634 with some other captain. 1179 00:47:21,713 --> 00:47:22,763 You're crazy. 1180 00:47:22,839 --> 00:47:23,589 He took us to the ballgame last 1181 00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:26,434 month. 1182 00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:27,760 Captain, you wouldn't 1183 00:47:27,844 --> 00:47:28,764 have anything to do with that 1184 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,256 mysterious man who's been 1185 00:47:30,347 --> 00:47:31,557 sending these kids on a cruise 1186 00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,770 every year, would you? 1187 00:47:33,850 --> 00:47:34,770 You know, the one with 'more 1188 00:47:34,851 --> 00:47:38,611 dollars than sense'? 1189 00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:39,729 Bah! 1190 00:47:39,815 --> 00:47:41,065 Humbug! 1191 00:47:41,149 --> 00:47:42,359 Come on, let's eat ourselves a 1192 00:47:42,442 --> 00:47:44,702 Turkey. 1193 00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:00,206 Hey, thank you for a 1194 00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:00,754 wonderful trip. 1195 00:48:00,836 --> 00:48:01,296 Oh. 1196 00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:02,958 I'm glad you enjoyed it. 1197 00:48:03,046 --> 00:48:03,506 I'll say one thing for you, 1198 00:48:03,589 --> 00:48:04,459 mr.barton 1199 00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:05,628 you sure seem a lot happier than 1200 00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:06,796 when you came aboard. 1201 00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:08,804 You bet I am. 1202 00:48:08,885 --> 00:48:09,635 You know what today is? 1203 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:10,300 Yes, sir. 1204 00:48:10,387 --> 00:48:10,927 Monday. 1205 00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:11,973 Nope. 1206 00:48:12,055 --> 00:48:15,555 Today is the first day, 1207 00:48:15,642 --> 00:48:16,692 of the rest of my life. 1208 00:48:16,768 --> 00:48:17,598 'Bye. 1209 00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:18,436 Bye-bye. 1210 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:19,770 Bye-bye. 1211 00:48:19,855 --> 00:48:21,475 Oh, darling, I'm so happy. 1212 00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:22,815 Me, too. 1213 00:48:22,899 --> 00:48:24,859 I've got a confession to make. 1214 00:48:24,943 --> 00:48:26,073 When I came on this cruise I -- 1215 00:48:26,153 --> 00:48:26,993 I was hoping you'd ask me for a 1216 00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:28,030 divorce. 1217 00:48:28,113 --> 00:48:29,993 Really? 1218 00:48:30,073 --> 00:48:31,033 Well, I has hoping the same 1219 00:48:31,116 --> 00:48:32,326 thing. 1220 00:48:32,409 --> 00:48:33,449 You're kidding? 1221 00:48:33,535 --> 00:48:34,995 This cruise really changed us. 1222 00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:36,038 Yes. 1223 00:48:36,121 --> 00:48:37,621 We're two completely different 1224 00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:38,666 people now. 1225 00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:50,839 (Singing scales) 1226 00:48:50,927 --> 00:48:51,637 Thanks for everything, 1227 00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:52,680 captain. 1228 00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:53,853 We had a good time. 1229 00:48:53,930 --> 00:48:54,970 Here. 1230 00:48:55,057 --> 00:48:56,017 From us kids. 1231 00:48:56,099 --> 00:48:58,479 Thanks for uh -- the trip. 1232 00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:00,810 Champagne? 1233 00:49:00,896 --> 00:49:01,856 Now, how did you kids get your 1234 00:49:01,938 --> 00:49:02,518 hands on this bottle of 1235 00:49:02,606 --> 00:49:03,856 champagne? 1236 00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:04,650 Where there's a will, 1237 00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:09,863 there's a way. 1238 00:49:09,946 --> 00:49:16,906 Let's go, you guys. 1239 00:49:16,995 --> 00:49:17,825 I guess that's will on the 1240 00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:20,923 bottom and way on top.