Love,
exciting and new
come aboard,
we're expecting you
love,
life's sweetest reward
let it flow,
it floats back to you.
Love boat
soon will be making another run
the love boat
promises something for everyone.
Set a course for adventure
your mind on a new romance.
Love
won't hurt anymore.
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
Yes, love,
welcome aboard, it's love.
Can I help you, sir?
Now that I'm aboard this tub,
what else is there to do
aside from keeping lookout
for whales and shark?
Oh, well, we have deck tennis,
ping-pong, and there are
two swimming pools on board.
I'm sure you'll make
a big splash.
Mister.....
Bootheston.
Franklyn bootheston.
No, I don't care for your
ping-pong or deck tennis.
And as for swimming, the only
time I go swimming is when the
mahonkahilla river gets nasty
and spits up all over mackey's
port, Pennsylvania.
Oh, what about your socializing?
No, I don't want to get
mixed up with one of your
sun-city swingers.
I'm here for solitude and the
sea air...Not to mingle with
some blue rinsed hairdo
looking for action.
Yes, sir.
Yes, ma'am.
Good morning.
Nice morning, captain.
Nice.
It's a great morning.
Well, I'm glad to see
you're so chipper, sir,
but this is just another cruise.
Oh, for you,perhaps,
not for me.
While we were in port they
repainted my cabin.
Come, dr.Bicker
join me.
Feast your eyes.
Good to have you aboard,
mr.and mrs.Black.
Sean?
Sean maguin.
Julie McCoy.
Bobby's sister.
I don't believe it.
Little Julie?
Boy, it's great to see you.
How long's it been?
Practically forever.
Yeah, about the same time
I've been waitin' in line.
I'm sorry, sir.
Your name?
Mickey.
Mickey o'day.
You my roommate?
No...
Um...your roommate is
Mr. Maguin here.
Hi.
You're sharing cabin
three-fourteen...
Fiesta deck.
Well, you can't win 'em all.
Hey, grab this, will ya?
I got a bum ticker.
See you later?
Yeah, just try and escape.
Miss McCoy, join us for
the unveiling.
Captain, if I know the
ship's painters, they've just
brightened up the old dingy
off-white with a coat of new
dingy off-white.
No, these are new
painters that I found.
Artists color co-ordinate
consultants, inc.
Good painters, huh?
Not just painters.
Tint engineers.
What?
You heard...Tint engineers.
You see, the captain selected
a unique color that had to be
mixed especially for him.
Singapore sunset saffron.
The color is like the early
morning sun glistening over the
straits of Calcutta.
The noon haze over ceylon.
Look, this is a sample.
Oh, yellow.
Well, how did it come out?
Oh, captain, I'm glad we ran
into you.
It's not quite bone-dry yet.
Well, can I look at it?
Ah, well, it's now ten-twenty.
Please, just a peek.
Ah, well, if you put it that way, sir.
The card.
Isaac!!!
I think I need two coats.
I think you'll like the way
we painted your cabin, captain.
Ah, yes, and do be careful.
The trim is still moist.
That's why we put up the moist
paint sign.
Where?
Right here, captain dept.
That's deputy captain.
You've painted the wrong cabin.
Oh, deputy captain.
You painted the wrong room,
cabin.
You two will stay on this ship
until my cabin is painted,
and painted to my satisfaction.
Aye...aye...aye, sir.
How many times have I told you
to check something up, so
that we don't waste our energy?
I always check things
out, so we don't waste our
energy.
Well, you obviously didn't
do too good a job of it this
time, because we wasted up...
(Horn sound)
Well, here we are.
Put that there.
Now this is your closet.
Yes, my closet.
And this is your light switch.
Yes.
My light switch.
And this is my ceiling, and this
is my floor.
Well, actually, sir, you know
this isn't my normal job.
I'm really an officer on this ship.
How wonderful for you,officer.
And this is your bathroom here.
Young man, I've lived on this
planet some seventy-five years
and by this time I think I know
how a bathroom works.
Of course.
Here.
Take this.
Go buy yourself a good cigar,
a cheap cup of coffee.
Oh.
Well, sir, you know if there's
anything you need, anything I
can...
That's all you're going to get.
And close the door after you.
Ok.
(Whistling)
Pay all this money for a stateroom.
You can't even get in the bathroom.
What's happening?
What...
What's happening?
I'm trying to get into my John.
Who are you and why are you
hiding in there?
I'm not hiding in there.
I work here.
I'm your chambermaid.
Nonsense, you don't look
old enough to be a chambermaid.
Almost twenty-six.
Where?
But I look much younger,
'cause I eat right...Get plenty
of rest,exercise.
And I'm at peace with the cosmos.
Oh, really...Before they make you
a Saint tell me who you are now.
I told you.
I'm your chambermaid.
Nonsense.
Chambermaids wear uniforms.
They don't go around dressed
like the groupies from the
nitty-gritty dirt band.
You're pretty smart for a
senior citizen.
Don't you patronize me.
I want the truth, or at least a
good first-class lie.
Alright,
Did you ever hear of the junior CIA?
Oh, good heavens.
I'm a beautiful heiress being
chased by kidnappers.
I'm going to have you hauled in
for trespassing.
No!
Please!
Don't...
Please...oh...oh...
My name is Nancy brown.
Ah-ha-ha-ha.
And I am John Doe.
Well, it is.
It's my real name.
Honest.
How come you're all alone?
I mean a nice distinguished
looking man like you.
Don't you try to flatter me,
you twerp.
I'm the one that's asking the questions.
What are you doing on this ship?
I'm travelling.
Why? You gonna make something
out of it?
You are a runaway,
aren't you?...
Aren't you?
Things were getting heavy at home.
Mmmm...
And you just couldn't get along
with your parents, huh?
My parents died in an accident
a long time ago.
Uh-huh...I'm sorry.
So am I,
every day.
Well, who are you living with now?
Foster parents.
My fifth set.
They're the pits.
Pits?
Pits.
I mean they won't
let me grow up.
They tell me what to wear,
what to think,
who to go out with.
So you packed your bubble gum
and hit the road.
I have to make it to acapulco.
Acapulco?
Mmmm...
What's there outside of humidity
you can drink and tap water you can't?
Randy.
Oh, Randy.
I might have known.
We met at a concert.
It was great.
We spent two days together
waiting in line to get in.
We built a very meaningful relationship.
Two days?
You had a meaningful
relationship.
Ah, why not.
With the generation that just
wants instant orange juice
and instant coffee.
Well, we did.
Young lady, I had a meaningful
relationship, too.
Only it took me forty-five years
to build it.
With my wife...Evelyn.
Oh...where is she?
I lost her...
Six months ago.
I'm sorry.
So am I...Every day...
Alright, miss...Uh?
Brown.
Miss brown.
I can see that you have problems
but I think it's time that you
got off this ship.
No!
Wait a minute!
Don't...don't...
Don't turn me in.
You are going to have
to get off this ship.
Okay.
But you better find me a life-jacket.
Why?
We pulled out of San Pedro
five minutes ago.
Then comes the social hour in the lounge.
That's when you scout the action.
Of course, you've got money in
the bank with that cute little
Julie up there.
She really gave you that
moo-goo-gai-pan look.
Oh, don't be silly.
She's my best friend's kid sister.
You play your cards right,
this could be a dynamite cruise for you.
Uh-oh, time for my pill.
Some doctor I got...Diagnosing a
heart condition in a man as
young and vital as myself.
If that doctor could see me with the ladies,
he'd have a heart attack.
These things would choke Seattle
slew...
Hey, come on, let's get goin'.
Let's get out there and meet
some dames...
Straighten up there, babe...
Oh, you're gonna kill 'em,sweetheart.
No, no...Let's suppose someone
did sneak aboard as a stowaway.
What would the ship's policy be?
Well, sir, they'd be placed
ashore at the first port.
Unless of course, they're willing
to pay their passage.
But why are we supposing?
Sir, no one sneaks aboard this
ship without my knowledge.
I have my eyes peeled at all
times wearily scanning the area
for interlopers.
But somebody did sneak aboard and
she's in my cabin right now.
Of course I only have two eyes and
I can't be everywhere at once.
I'm surprised Julie didn't notice her.
Oh...
But don't worry, sir.
If she's on board I'll have her
removed immediately...Forcibly
if necessary.
Ah, just a minute,officer.
The truth is she's my grand daughter
your granddaughter?
Yes.
She didn't notice the ship had
left port.
I'll gladly pay for her passage.
How 'bout a cabin?
Well, sir, that could be a problem.
You see, we're all sold out.
There isn't another cabin on the
entire ship.
They got a spare life boat?
No.
They got room in the swimming pool?
The shallow end?
How 'bout the deeper end?
She's a good swimmer.
Sir, if she's your grand daughter
why doesn't she share your cabin?
Well, why didn't I think about that before,
because the idea stinks.
The idea stinks, Julie.
It was your idea, gopher.
What did you drag me down here for anyway?
We could have eaten in the cabin.
I don't want to attract ants.
Here.
Don't do me any favors.
Do me a favor.
Try and act like a lady...
Let's see, I hope you're hungry,
I'm starved.
Do you have a hollow leg to
match your hollow head?
What are you doing?
Cool it, there goes the captain.
If he sees me, I've had it.
I think I'll start with some
deep-fried clams, a bowl of chowder
and I'm torn between the lobster newsburg
and seafood o'gratin.
Mmm...
What time is the funeral?
What do you mean by that?
Those things will put you away.
Nonsense.
Seafood's good for you.
Did you ever see an unhealthy shark?
Sharks do not eat sauces
which plug up his arteries.
Ah, very well, I'll try the Mexican menu.
Enchilada conole chiliana
and a burrito.
There's enough spice in that stuff
to give high blood pressure to a doctor.
Well, what do you want me to eat?
I'm not in the mood for a bowl of oatmeal.
Well, there are plenty of things here that
make a positive organic and nutritional statement.
I don't want my food to make a statement.
I want it to lie quietly on my fork and die happy.
How 'bout some of these,
spinach salad with alfalfa.
Ycch...
Hearts of Kale.
Ycch...
Watercress and bib-lettuce salad.
What am I supposed to do after I eat that?
Give four quarts of milk?
It's the captain again.
I'm sure he's looking for me.
Oh...captain?
Oh, yes, sir?
Bootheston,
franklyn b.
Bootheston.
This young twerp is Nancy.
Well, it's nice to have you on board
can I help you?
Yes, we were just discussing
some of the finer points of maritime law.
Is it true they no longer use
cat-o'-nine-tails on stowaways?
Yes, that's right...
We outlawed that
cat-o'-nine-tails many years
ago.
Now we just make stowaways walk
the plank.
Just as I thought.
Thank you, captain.
What did you have to go
and mention stowaways for?
Now I'm sure he'll be looking for me.
No, he won't.
How do you know?
Because...
In a moment of madness I uncorked my checkbook
and paid for your passage.
You what?
I told them that you were
my granddaughter.
You did that for me?
Hm-hm.
Oh, that's terrific.
Hey, no,
no...no...no...don't hug me.
Don't hug me, you're in public.
Feed me.
Yeah, but you're gonna have to eat my way.
Do I have to?
Hm-hm, yes you have to.
Hi.
We'll have one burrito and some
French-fries and just a couple
of fried clams...
Start being healthy tomorrow.
Mmmm...
I know what's different.
What?
You've got your braces off.
Yes.
You can't call me metal-mouth,anymore.
Metal-mouth?
You've grown into a beautiful
woman.
I mean a really beautiful woman.
That's a pretty song.
Would you like to dance?
Ah...I'm not much in the
dance department.
Julie.
Telephone.
Oh, thanks...
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
Don't go away.
Not me.
Classy, huh?
Julie?
Oh...none finer.
Let me tell you somethin' kid,
she digs you.
We've known each other since we were kids.
Oh yeah?
But she's not a kid anymore.
No, she isn't.
I happen to know from past experience.
This time of night the most
romantic spot on the ship is the
riviera deck, overlooking the
fantail.
Sorry...
Okay, why don't we go to some
nice quiet place and relax.
I know just the place.
The card room.
We can play a game of bridge.
Bridge?
Well, I'm really not very good.
Well, that's because you don't play enough.
Bridge?
Gee, that sounds like a lot of fun.
Come on.
You know, they had their nerve
calling that thing we ate for dinner a burrito.
I thought it was great.
Just goes to show, you don't know
anything about burritos.
And I suppose you do,coming
from mackey's port,pennsylvania
burrito capital of the world.
I just know what I like and
I know that thing had no body
and no flavor, and the sauce
had no bite in it.
Good heavens, is this what
you're wearing to bed?
I have to.
The one that says breakfast of
champions is still drying.
Oh well, I'm sharing my room
with a billboard.
What are you doing here?
The laundry?
No, no, I'm going to have
a little privacy in here,
i think.
Can you hand me that...Blanket
there, the blue one?
Okay.
Mm...
Throw it over.
Thata girl.
Hey, where'd you ever come up
with a gimmick like this?
Well, didn't you ever see
it happened one night?
If it worked for Clark gable, it
can work for me.
Who's Clark gable?
You don't know who Clark gable is?
Mmm-mm...
Well, let me put it this way.
If Charlie Bronson was really
tough, he'd be Clark gable.
Evelyn here...Your wife,
she's really pretty.
Yes...yes she is.
You know it's a funny thing
I was always the one who was
running to the doctor with heart
pains and backaches...And in the
long run she went first.
It's not fair, is it?
Who said life was fair?
Did you have any kids?
No, we were never blessed.
But without Evelyn, my life was
just like that burrito, no flavor
and no zest.
Well, why are we getting so
morbid?
What is this true confessions?
Come on, let's get to bed.
It's getting late.
Thanks.
And if you snore, I'll stuff you out
the porthole.
I don't snore.
Go on, get to bed.
Thanks.
For what?
Well, if it weren't for you
I'd probably be sleeping in
the boiler room tonight.
Ohhh...forget it.
I won't forget it...
Grandpa.
Go to sleep.
What are you doing, gopher?
I just wrote a letter to
my grandmother in Florida.
She really loves to hear from me.
And you expect her to get it?
The last letter I sent her
she got in eighteen months.
In a bottle?
No, I mailed that one.
Come on, just take one shot.
The only shot I'll take will be at the bar.
This is a ship and everybody plays
shuffleboard on a ship.
Alright, but I don't see any
point in a silly game where
you take a stick and shove...
Incredible.
Are you sure you never played?
Beginners luck.
I don't believe you.
Alright, I'll play you a game
and prove it.
Okay, but not for money.
I think you're a hustler.
Drop cloths?
Check.
Scaffold?
Check.
Pigment applicators.
Check...check...
Who is it?
Captain stubing.
Oh, just one moment, sir...
Oh, you're just in time, sir.
We just finished.
You haven't done anything.
You haven't finished painting.
Oh, not the painting,sir
we've just finished the
mixing.
Two days and all you've done
is mix the paint?
But, sir...Sir...
Singapore sunset saffron, is not
what you would call an easy
shade.
That's not right.
It's not right?
That's not Singapore
sunset saffron.
Now are you sure you have the
formula right?
Oh, ab...Absolutely, sir.
I have it...I have it right here.
Let's see...Oh...
Singapore sunset saffron... One gallon
cadmium base, one half ounce
carmine, one cc.
Oker, and two smidgens tission.
Ah, I thought you said three
smidgens tission.
No, I...I...
Distinctly said two smidgens tission.
Well, that's no problem, Ronald.
I'll simply remove one small
smidgen tission like this.
Just mix the paint and
get on with it.
Ummm...
But it's all mixed up.
You...you can't simply remove
one small smidgen tission
like this.
Kimo saby.
Well, as long as you're
getting ridiculous about this,
Ronald.
No, no, I think you should think
this over again.
Miss McCoy, if you don't get
your painters to finish with
my cabin today, I'll have them
thrown off at the first port of call.
I'll take care of that right away, sir.
Now I have had enough of this!
Hi, Julie.
If I crossed my legs like that
I'd have to pry them apart with a crowbar.
Ah, don't be so stubborn.
Come on, give it a try.
What have you got to lose?
My circulation.
You're getting it.
There we go.
My blood's going places it hasn't
been in for sixty years.
Now chant...
Om...
Now you try.
Om...om...
Home on the range...Where the
where the deer
and the antelopes play...Where...
Seldom is heard a discouraging word
and the skies are not cloudy
all day.
Oh!
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
I couldn't be better.
Keeping busy?
Well, yeah, there's always something...
Listen
I'm on a break right now
and I've got some great snapshots
of the old gang down in my cabin.
Come on, let's go take a look.
Okay?
Oh, I don't know...
It's a shame to waste this
weather in a stuffy old cabin.
Right...right...
Ah...
Sean...
Yeah?
I'm kind of a direct person,
I like things on the line.
Is there some reason why the two
of us can't,
i mean...
Yeah?
How come we...
Aren't jogging?
I couldn't believe it when Julie
said we won the dance contest.
Where'd you learn how to do the
bump and the hustle?
The bump and the hustle?
I beg your pardon, I was doing
the Charleston.
What's the Charleston?
Oh, it's a dance Clark gable used to do.
Our dancing days are now over.
Tomorrow we'll be in acapulco
and you'll see Randy your
consort prince of acne.
He doesn't have acne.
He's almost nineteen.
And you're almost sixteen.
Tell me?
What do you two old fogies do on
dates?
Help one another in and out of
wheelchairs?
Age is only in the mind.
Let me tell you, when you get
to be my age it's also in the body.
And my mind and body tells me
that you are doing the wrong
thing runnin' off together.
But we're not just gonna live together,
we're getting married
i mean isn't that what turns on your
generation?
There's something else that turns
on our generation too,
that is to let a relationship grow
and learn another person's faults
and virtues
his hopes, his dreams,
before you make the
commitment of marriage.
I know all that sounds good and everything
but half of my friends' parents are divorced.
I know, I'm just saying that
you ought to take more time.
Well, you're not even out of
high school...
You think Randy's going to stay
interested in a girl who could
not bisect an isosceles triangle?
You know, for a man who never had kids
you sure have a lot of fatherly advice
to hand out.
I'm not telling you anything
that your foster parents
couldn't have told you.
Oh, no...No,
you allow me to argue with you.
You discuss.
You...you give me alternatives.
With them there's only one answer.
It was no and they put their
foot down.
If I stomped my foot like that
I'd bust my support hose.
Why don't you go back to L.A.?
Mm?
I guess you're right...
But I'm gonna have to tell Randy face to face.
I mean it'd be rotten of me
not just to show up.
True.
When I come back from acapulco,
I'm gonna bring you back a burrito so spicy
you're gonna have more gas
than the shah of Iran.
Oh, you look very nice,sir,
but be careful on your way out.
Wet paint, you know.
Don't worry about my being careful.
Just you be careful...
Singapore sunset saffron.
It's marvelous.
I just can't believe that
we've got the rest of the
evening together.
And the night is still young.
Cold?
A little.
Well, here's my coat.
I'll help you.
Thanks...
Sean?
What is it metal mouth?
It's just been so great seeing you
after all these years.
You must know I've had a crush on you
since I can't remember when.
Crush?
Yeah.
You're gonna have to excuse me,
I just remembered.
I have all these postcards,
I promised to write,and
and if I don't get them done tonight
i...i won't have them ready for the mail
when we reach port tomorrow.
Postcards?
I knew you'd understand.
The night is young my Fanny.
Hi, doc.
Hi.
Well, your dress designer
was doing great till he got to
the coat.
Julie,
doc, what's the matter with me?
Hey...easy, kid.
What is it?
I think I love him,
and he couldn't care less about me.
Sean?
Of course he cares.
Then why won't he make a pass at me?
Well, let me put it this way.
It's a mystery to me.
Look, some guys are just shy...
Why don't you make a pass at him?
I have been making passes.
At least I think I have.
Well, you see, if you're not sure,
he probably isn't either.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Hit him over the head.
It'd be a novel approach.
It might work.
Thanks, doc.
What a band.
They are hot.
This is gonna be a three-shirt night.
Why don't you come with me,
you'll have a great time.
That cute little Julie's
probably waitin' up there for you.
Not tonight.
Man, I don't understand you.
Here you got this doll who's
crazy about you, and you don't
take her up on it.
You want to end up a lonely
desperate man like me?...
Yeah.
Well, hey, hi good lookin'.
I was just leavin'.
Go for it.
Hey, hey, hey.
You forgot your jacket.
Well...um,
But I...
Don't talk...
Huh?
Listen,
I'm not Bobby's little sister anymore.
I'm a full-grown red-blooded
American woman.
I can see that.
Huh?
I can see that.
Anyway...
What I'm looking for is a full
grown red-blooded American man...
That sounded really stupid,
didn't it?
I don't believe I said that.
Well, this whole seduction thing
is an obvious bust.
I'm the bust.
I couldn't vamp a guy that's
been on a desert island for
forty years.
Oh, wait sure you could...
You're a fantastic lady.
And I think you're great.
I don't want to interrupt this,
but I think I'm having
a heart attack.
Do you think you could find me a
doctor?
And a priest...
Make that just a doctor.
You're a priest?
Now I have to make a confession.
Confess outside.
He needs a little sleep.
Everything's gonna be okay.
I've given you a mild sedative
to relax you, and I'll drop in a
couple of times during the night.
Thanks, doc.
Anything else you need?
Yeah.
You could stop by the acapulco
lounge and tell that cute little
redhead I was dancing with i'm
gonna have to sit the next one out.
And so I went on this cruise to try
and sort things out.
As a priest I felt...
Out of touch, they call it a crisis of faith,
but I found out that with
or without the collar,
a priest is what I am.
Well, I feel like an idiot
coming onto you like that.
You didn't know and you're
not an idiot.
And if things had been different
things might have been different.
I couldn't understand why
you didn't want to dance.
You used to be such a terrific
dancer.
I didn't think I'd be any good.
I haven't had much practice lately.
Well, there's no time
like the present, father.
I'll try not to step on your toes,
metal mouth.
Morning, sir.
How's the cabin look?
It's not finished yet.
No need to worry, miss McCoy.
Singapore sunset saffron is
worth the wait.
A Singapore who, sir?
Sunset saffron.
It's a color...A very personal
color.
One that up to this point has
only been in my mind's eye.
Oh...yellow.
It's Singapore sunset saffron.
But, sir, this looks
like yellow to me.
Pardon?
This yellow.
Ridiculous...
Oh...
It's the same.
My entire ship is painted
Singapore sunset saffron.
But, sir, what could be
more personal?
Captain, we're all finished.
Oh, your Singapore sunset
saffron is sensational.
Blue.
Paint it blue.
Blue?
Just plain blue, sir...How 'bout
Bulgarian Navy blue.
I don't care.
Just paint it blue...All of it!
The trim?
The woodwork?
Everything...everything
will be blue...
My shoes are yellow.
Not yellow, sir...
Singapore sunset saffron.
Oh, good evening.
Mr.bootheston.
How was acapulco?
Nice, Julie, if you like quaint
little Mexican souvenirs
made in quaint little Japan.
Hey, candles, flowers,
bottle on ice, you got a heavy date?
My granddaughter...
And from the way she eats, I
think she would never be heavy.
One of her ancestors must have
been a rabbit.
Where is Nancy?
She'll be aboard soon.
She's saying goodbye to a young man.
Well, you have a terrific dinner.
And don't let all that champagne
go to your head.
Not for me.
Nancy's only sixteen...
According to her taste, I had
the steward make up a bag of my
carrot juice...
Thank you.
Announcer: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."
"We hope you enjoyed your stay in acapulco."
Our next stop...
Puerto vallarta...At
oh-eight-hundred tomorrow
morning.
Mr.bootheston,
how are you today?
Perfect.
Did you have fun in puerto vallarta?
Fun?
Is that all you people on board
ship think about?
Fun, fun, fun.
Who goes on a cruise ship to have fun.
I haven't seen your grand daughter today.
She stayed back in acapulco.
Would you like me to notify the authorities?
No, she's a grown girl.
Perfectly able to take care of
herself.
Let her do her own thing and
I'll do mine.
Hey, mister, want a taste
a burrito that could set your
house on fire?
Nancy!
Hi...
Don't do that!
What?
Why not?
You just killed your burrito.
Oh...
Nancy.
You were worried.
No, I wasn't.
Yes, I was...
A little.
Come on.
A lot...
Oh, Nancy.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Randy and I got hung up in this long conversation.
Before we knew it the ship was gone.
But he drove all night to catch
up with the ship.
That was real nice of him.
He's a nice guy.
Only he agrees with you...
We should wait to get married.
He's also a bright guy.
And I'm gonna go and finish school
even if it does mean staying
with those people in Santa Monica.
They may not be as bad
as you think they are.
You're sixteen...After all
that'll be only two more years.
Two years...
It might as well be a hundred.
Oh...
Time flies.
Gopher, is that the captain's plant?
That's right.
I'm the only one he trusts with it.
You know I've done a lot
of reading about plants, and
that particular kind survives a
lot longer on salt water.
No kidding?
Honest.
Thanks for the tip.
Here you are, captain, take these.
What are they?
Tranquilizers.
If your cabin's not painted
right this time, I want you to
be prepared.
Nonsense.
What can go wrong?
I gave them specific, accurate
instructions that any
moron...any two morons could
follow...
Just paint everything blue.
Oh, how do you like it,
captain?
I told you it'd leave
him speechless, Ronald.
I told you.
Yes, you did, Vincent...
You said it would leave him
speechless.
I'll get some water for
your tranquilizers captain.
Well...maybe I'll get used to it.
Or maybe I'll hang two
painters from the yard-arm.
If any of your friends have boats, sir,
please tell them about us.
Here's your hat,sir.
Get off my ship!
Officer.
Yes, sir.
Officer, I would like
to make arrangements for a
series of ship to shore calls.
Yes, sir.
Furthermore, I'd like to make it
arranged to have them put on my bill.
Of course, sir.
As you know we're here to make
you happy.
Oh, thank you,officer.
In that case, put them on your
bill.
Ronald?
Vincent?
I know you're hiding in here.
I can smell paint.
Hello, Julie.
Ah, what's new?
The captain's in his quarters
so please get off the ship
now before he sees you,
or I'll be off with you.
Oh, we're very sorry for all
the mishaps, miss McCoy,
and thank you for everything.
Yes.
Thank you, Julie.
There's blue paint all
over my hand.
Vincent: Oh, no there isn't.
No, that's midnight
mediterranean magenta.
Well, Ronald,
what do we do now?
What would do you say
to a skiing vacation in veo.
We could be ski instructors.
We can't ski.
Well, we can't paint either.
We did con them out of a free
cruise, didn't we?
Come on, painter, we'll go
skiing.
Oh, hello Julie
well so long it's been a
grand cruise.
Thanks for everything.
Well, I want you both to
know it's been a real pleasure
having two generations of
boothestons on board.
I hope you'll both be back with
us again.
Thanks...
Goodbye.
I gotta go.
Oh, look, there's a seagull.
Hey, I feel lousy enough
as it is, please let me go.
You know, you hardly ever
see a seagull in mackey's port
Pennsylvania.
What's going on.
I mean it's tough enough to
stand here without blubbering
like some sixteen year old
without you stalling.
Who's stalling?
Hi, Nancy.
Miss westcott.
Bootheston.
Franklyn b.
Oh, it's nice to
finally meet you after talking
so many times.
You two've been talking?
Well, I've been trying
to find out from your social
worker, since you don't like
that family you're staying with,
if you'd like to try me out.
You mean you want to be
my foster parent?...
Oh wow.
Of course, we'd have to put Mr.
Bootheston through a rigorous
screening, but there's a
possibility.
Wow...
Oh, wow...
You see, she needs me, if only
to enlarge her vocabulary.
It may take time to
make the change.
That's okay with me.
He's worth waiting for.
And so is she.
Hey, this is far out.
I mean, I'll take care of you.
I can cook for you.
If you serve me a
seceni peppered with bean
sprouts, the deal is off.
Oh, no, I won't do that.
Well, so long, Julie.
It's been quite a trip.
It's been nice seeing you
after all these years.
Wouldn't it be great if one of
these days I could marry you.
What?
In my church.
Oh.
You bring the groom.
Oh, there you are...
Adios doll, it was an
interesting voyage.
Goodbye, Mickey.
So long, roomy,
thanks for everything.
And I mean everything, father.
How is he?
Well, the doctor says he
has a case of gastro-intestinitis
and a legro modenous.
Oh, that's Latin for acute
indigestion and an overabundance
of boogying...
Well, so long, Julie.
Bye bye.