1 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:16,562 ♪Love, exciting and new.♪ 2 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:26,282 ♪Come aboard, we're expecting you♪ 3 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:33,317 ♪love, life's sweetest reward.♪ 4 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:43,793 ♪Let it flow, it floats back to you♪ 5 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:49,717 ♪the love boat soon will be making another run.♪ 6 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:58,181 ♪The love boat promises something for everyone♪ 7 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,349 ♪set a course for adventure♪ 8 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:04,726 ♪your mind on a new romance♪ 9 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,369 ♪Love won't hurt anymore.♪ 10 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:23,834 ♪It's an open smile on a friendly shore♪ 11 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:34,217 ♪yes, love .welcome aboard, it's love.♪ 12 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:01,445 Thanks for bringin' me down, Bernie. 13 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:03,669 I really appreciate it. 14 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:04,288 Howie, what are friends for? 15 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:06,842 Just promise me one thing. 16 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:07,878 What's that? 17 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,301 You spent a lot of money on a cruise, don't blow it. 18 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,050 Get some of the action. 19 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:15,181 Ah, Bernie, I'm not like you. 20 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,010 I...i can't come on to girls the way you do. 21 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,255 Yeah, with women I'm a verbal clod. 22 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:19,845 And true. 23 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:20,891 That's why I bought you this. 24 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:21,934 "How to hit on girls?" 25 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,023 And believe me, it's not about karate. 26 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,023 Nah, this isn't gonna work, Bernie. 27 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,863 Oh yeah? 28 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:28,479 Well, what do you say to a girl when you first meet her? 29 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,323 I say...My name's Howard. 30 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,191 What's yours? 31 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,147 Terrific. 32 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,066 With a line like that, you could become a monk. 33 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,658 "Excuse me, I don't mean to be forward, but...Are you a professional model? 34 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,407 No way! 35 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,414 Oh, go on. 36 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,905 Laugh if you wanna, but this stuff is dynamite. 37 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,247 You're gonna score so much, Burt Reynolds is gonna be callin' you for pointers. 38 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,593 Bernie, I don't want to score. 39 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,088 I just want to meet a nice girl. 40 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,263 Okay. 41 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,089 Does she look like a nice girl to you? 42 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:58,761 Yeah. 43 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,175 Watch...you watchin'? 44 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,479 Excuse me...Excuse me. 45 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,902 I don't mean to be forward, but....Are you a professional model? 46 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:12,439 Why yes. 47 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,565 How did you know? 48 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:14,901 Oh, I just...I thought you were. 49 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:15,946 Would you like a lift somewhere? 50 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,069 Can I drop you someplace? 51 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:17,945 Sure. 52 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:18,741 Well, hi. 53 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,375 Welcome aboard. 54 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,263 Hi. 55 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,509 We're Mr. and Mrs. Desmond. 56 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,339 Oh, newlyweds. 57 00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:39,089 Oh no. 58 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,347 We've been married five hours. 59 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,308 Oh, well then, happy anniversary. 60 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:42,968 Thank you. 61 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,466 Which way to the promenade deck? 62 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,807 Through this door and up the stairs. 63 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:46,642 Have a great honeymoon. 64 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,095 Oh,you can bet on it. 65 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,232 Ohhh... 66 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,651 Max, will you kindly not make a scene here. 67 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,446 Gladys, this is ridiculous. 68 00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,779 We're stuck on a ship for a week with six hundred strangers. 69 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,156 We could have been in Rome. 70 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:04,992 We've been there three times. 71 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,078 I am bored with Rome. 72 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,162 Bored with Rome? 73 00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:12,377 Fifteen years ago we were happy to have a nail to hang your bathing suit on in the bathhouse at coney island. 74 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,628 I hope we're never like that. 75 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:17,724 No way. 76 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,259 I don't even know where coney island is. 77 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,354 Hi. 78 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,218 Hello. 79 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,144 Welcome aboard. 80 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,012 Hello, I'm wendel snead. 81 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,058 This is my wife, ida. 82 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,180 Well, how do you do? 83 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,016 We're in c-one-twenty. 84 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,061 That's on the coral deck. 85 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,186 Coral deck...Sounds so exotic. 86 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,524 You can take the elevator in the lobby. 87 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,357 Thank you. 88 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,395 Oh...when we get to cabo San Lucas, 89 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,615 do you think our grandchildren could come on board and look around? 90 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,198 Oh, yes, of course. 91 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:45,543 I'd love to give them a tour. 92 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,328 Oh, wendel. 93 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,037 I wonder what they look like. 94 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,292 You see, our daughter's been living in Mexico for the past ten years. 95 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,249 We've never seen our grandchildren. 96 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,170 I can't wait to meet them. 97 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,924 I bet they can't wait to meet you either. 98 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:00,342 Bye-bye, 99 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:01,844 hello. 100 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:05,389 Wendel, this is so luxurious. 101 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,722 It must be costing a fortune. 102 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,887 Wouldn't it be cheaper to fly? 103 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,436 Now, ida, you know what the doctor said. 104 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,349 No flying for you. 105 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,347 But how can we afford it? 106 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,898 I knew there was something I forgot to tell you. 107 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:17,943 I won the Irish sweepstakes. 108 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:20,899 Isaac! 109 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:21,947 It's contribution time again. 110 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,530 I need your ten dollars for the crew emergency fund. 111 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:26,448 Catch me later. 112 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:27,584 Isaac! 113 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,200 Listen, gopher, I can't skip out on you. 114 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,197 I'm not that good a swimmer... 115 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,745 And by the way, how much money you got in the box? 116 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,634 Six hundred and thirty-five dollars. 117 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:36,840 In that case, you give me ten bucks,yeah 118 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,800 which you owe me, by the way, from our last gin rummy game. 119 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:43,926 Catch me later. 120 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,551 Excuse me. 121 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,387 Did I hear you say you play gin rummy? 122 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,733 Ah well, sir, some of us play, and some of us win. 123 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:51,518 I love gin. 124 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:53,937 Maybe we'll get together later on. 125 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:54,770 Well, that depends. 126 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:56,937 You a player or a winner? 127 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:57,733 Wendel, you're terrible at cards. 128 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,193 Well, what better place to practice? 129 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:01,944 My place or yours? 130 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,737 Now rest assured,herb, we'll take good care of your daughter. 131 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,084 I appreciate it, merrill, but Sheila's different. 132 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,579 Yeah, she...She's an innocent...She's never vacationed alone before. 133 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,791 Now don't worry. 134 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,123 I've assigned dr.Bricker here to look after her. 135 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,378 You can count on me, Mr. Lawrence. 136 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:17,878 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 137 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:20,963 Please forgive me. 138 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,630 Sheila, darling... 139 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,756 Are you all right? 140 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:25,382 You've got to watch yourself. 141 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,180 It was an accident, daddy. 142 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,099 I think I could look after her. 143 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,267 You didn't forget to tip the cabby? 144 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,602 And did you pack your vitamins? 145 00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:36,936 And be careful of what you eat. 146 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:37,981 And don't drink the water. 147 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:38,864 Daddy! 148 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,150 I can take care of myself. 149 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:42,534 Tell him, captain. 150 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,440 Yes...yes, of course. 151 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,818 Be careful of who you talk to. 152 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,655 There are a lot of weird guys on a ship. 153 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:48,780 Daddy... 154 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:49,826 You see, she doesn't date much. 155 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:50,659 Daddy, really. 156 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:52,871 Well, have a good time, sweetheart. 157 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:57,584 It'll be a slice of heaven. 158 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,092 All right, herb. 159 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,089 Let's go. 160 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,630 Now come on, there's nothing to worry about now. 161 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,303 Dr.bricker is the best man I have. 162 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,302 He'll treat her...Treat your daughter just like... 163 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,622 I don't mean to be forward, but are you a professional model? 164 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,370 I used to be, but now I'm a doctor. 165 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,649 I haven't seen you wear that since our wedding, thirty-eight years ago. 166 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,163 You don't think it's out of style for a cruise, do you? 167 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,409 Not if the cruise is thirty-eight years ago. 168 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,704 I guess you're right...You're having a good time, aren't you? 169 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,455 Oh, yes, wendel. 170 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:21,381 Thank you. 171 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,169 You deserve it, ida. 172 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,212 But, dear...How did you afford all this? 173 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,717 I told you not to worry about it. 174 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,803 Well, I will worry about it, unless I know. 175 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,523 Well, I...I took out a small mortgage on the house. 176 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,108 You took out a mortgage? 177 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,401 How will we pay it back? 178 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,112 Ida, I know where to get the money. 179 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,445 But we only have our pension. 180 00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:51,449 We could lose our home. 181 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,320 Ida, haven't I always managed to provide for us? 182 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,951 I know we haven't lived like kings... 183 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:57,746 I'm sorry, wendel. 184 00:08:58,913 --> 00:08:59,623 I trust you. 185 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:00,995 I know everything will be all right. 186 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,497 Well then, give us a smile. 187 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:09,465 You're here to enjoy yourself, remember?....That's better. 188 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,263 Julie:Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 189 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,135 This is Julie McCoy, your cruise director. 190 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:21,192 Our first session of jackpot bingo will be starting in just fifteen minutes in the acapulco lounge. 191 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,307 How 'bout that? 192 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:28,397 As I recall, you were always the prettiest and the best bingo player at every church social. 193 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,315 Were? 194 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,903 Well, you're still the prettiest. 195 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:34,991 And I'm still the best. 196 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:35,704 Then hop to it. 197 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:40,660 Aren't you coming with me? 198 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,666 I'm not as pretty as I used to be. 199 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,709 And I want to see if I can remember how to play gin rummy. 200 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:46,463 I'll see you later. 201 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:47,502 Okay. 202 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:47,836 I love you. 203 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,380 I love you. 204 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:17,532 Nine of hearts... 205 00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:22,956 ..Jack of clubs..... 206 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,259 Ida, forgive me. 207 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:52,742 Hello. 208 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,528 Mr.and mrs.Watkins, I'd like you to meet the desmonds. 209 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:56,486 Hi. 210 00:10:59,033 --> 00:10:59,533 The desmonds are newlyweds. 211 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,077 Never would have guessed. 212 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,081 Enjoy your dinner. 213 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,212 Thank you. 214 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:04,748 Oh, hi...We're the desmonds. 215 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:07,714 Oh... 216 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:08,292 Hi, fella. 217 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,376 I'm Scott. 218 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,590 And I'm Gladys Watkins and this is my husband, Max. 219 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,339 Thank you, dear... 220 00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,047 When were you married? 221 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:16,633 This morning. 222 00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:17,757 Oh... 223 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,053 And you're still talking to each other. 224 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:21,893 We've been married twenty-five years. 225 00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,562 Yeah, in some states you get less for murder. 226 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,775 Now I suggest either the Polo ala cacciatore confungi, or a nice new england boiled dinner. 227 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:36,953 Both very good. 228 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:37,699 It looks sort of fascinating. 229 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:39,818 Oh...sir... 230 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:40,867 Yes? 231 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,200 Um...I'd like you to meet mr.And Mrs. Wendel snead. 232 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,042 This is captain stubing. 233 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:44,910 How do you do? 234 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:45,785 How do you do? 235 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:46,711 Hello. 236 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,419 May I compliment you on your wonderful crew? 237 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:50,794 Why, thank you. 238 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,626 I must say, miss McCoy calls a mean game of bingo. 239 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,088 And gopher's a mighty mean gin rummy player. 240 00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,934 He took me for a dollar twenty-seven this afternoon. 241 00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,969 I hope you let me get even with you tonight. 242 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,103 Ah...warn you, I hear that gopher is a pretty good player. 243 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:08,845 You know....I might just get lucky myself. 244 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,242 Sheila...you're looking for trouble. 245 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,786 Really, doctor, I can take care of myself. 246 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:32,712 As long as neatness doesn't count. 247 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,168 Let me lay it out for you. 248 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,875 That guy at that table is nothing but a cruise ship cowboy, 249 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,426 looking to add another notch to his life preserver. 250 00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,177 He only wants one thing from you. 251 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,352 He'll take your heart and rip it apart. 252 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,192 And then he'll stomp on it and squish it and turn it into hamburger meat. 253 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,438 And then he'll leave you on the dock crying for your mother. 254 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:53,693 ..And then you know what he'll do? 255 00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:55,402 He'll just go off and look for somebody else. 256 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,693 Do you think you could introduce me? 257 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,032 Good evening, miss Lawrence. 258 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:04,866 You okay? 259 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,366 Would you like something? 260 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,162 Well... 261 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,371 Ah, captain...May I have a word with you? 262 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,206 Certainly. 263 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:13,708 Excuse me. 264 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:13,962 Excuse me. 265 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:20,667 Hello again. 266 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,180 Captain, I have a horrible confession to make. 267 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:24,971 I'm a lousy chaperone. 268 00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:28,643 Maybe a little practice will help. 269 00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:33,561 Oh, no... 270 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,935 I'm not trying to pick you up....I think I'm in love with you. 271 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,567 That's not love. 272 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,105 Those are hunger pangs. 273 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,033 Go eat your dinner. 274 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:11,726 Isn't it beautiful? 275 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:12,849 So calm, yet dark and mysterious. 276 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,606 I just love the sea at night. 277 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,520 Why? 278 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:19,317 You can't see anything. 279 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,532 Doesn't it make you feel insignificant? 280 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:26,951 The enormity of it all. 281 00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:29,617 I can't see it. 282 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,674 Please make a note to send the champagne and fruit to the promenade deck. 283 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:36,464 Ah, pardon me.... 284 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,632 Yes? 285 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,420 I hate to be a bother, but is there a doctor on the ship? 286 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:41,304 Well, yes, of course. 287 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,130 What's the problem? 288 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:42,844 A stomach ache. 289 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,343 Must have been something I ate. 290 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,255 Oh. 291 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,142 Probably at home. 292 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:46,968 Not here. 293 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:47,852 Here the food's delicious. 294 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,348 Well, I tell you what. 295 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,520 Why don't you go to your cabin and lie down, and I'll send the doctor to you. 296 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,430 Thank you. 297 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:54,307 Excuse me. 298 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,143 Your cabin number. 299 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:55,977 Oh, aloha three-five-eight. 300 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,481 Got it. 301 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,185 Thanks. 302 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,404 A grown woman with a chaperone. 303 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:03,991 It's ridiculous. 304 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,069 Well, it could have been worse. 305 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,450 How? 306 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:10,452 Thank you. 307 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,492 Oh, doc. 308 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,328 Hi, Sheila. 309 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,462 Hi. 310 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:15,868 I should have known I'd find you two in the moonlight. 311 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,629 Doc, there is a fellow in aloha three-fifty-eight with a stomach ache. 312 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:23,713 Okay? 313 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:26,470 Sorry. 314 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:27,260 I gotta play doctor. 315 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,340 Come on. 316 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,177 I'll take you to your cabin. 317 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,762 I think I'll just stay here a little while. 318 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:32,847 I won't be long. 319 00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:33,641 Enjoy the moonlight without me. 320 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:48,985 I love the.. 321 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,525 I love the way your moon re... 322 00:15:55,454 --> 00:16:01,344 I love the way your eyes reflect the shimmering moonlight on the rippling water. 323 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,054 Oh, Howard. 324 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,218 Just a minute. 325 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:13,972 Yeah? 326 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,466 Hi, I'm doctor bricker. 327 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,114 How're you doing? 328 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:22,859 Fine, thanks. 329 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,189 Can I help? 330 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,276 No. 331 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,411 I seem to be doin' just great by myself. 332 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,618 But if I run into anything that I can't handle, I'll be sure to give you a call. 333 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,334 My words are merely the thumping of my heart put into language. 334 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,630 Oh, Howard, you have the most romantic way of speaking. 335 00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:55,473 See you tomorrow. 336 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:03,481 Did the moonlight suffer without me? 337 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,476 It's the best moonlight I've ever seen. 338 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,418 Oh...oh...wow... 339 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:28,418 Like it? 340 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,295 Like it? 341 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,131 I love it. 342 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:30,965 Take it off.... 343 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,313 Well, what do you say we get some sleep? 344 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,311 I want to get up early. 345 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,192 I hear there's a shuffleboard contest tomorrow. 346 00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,099 Oh, golly, we don't want to miss that. 347 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:47,693 Oh, darling......We're so lucky to have each other. 348 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,486 Yeah. 349 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,321 Not like that couple in the dining room. 350 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:58,536 I mean here we are in each other's arms and...Right now they're probably at each other's throats. 351 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,329 Well, let's not think about them and their silly fighting. 352 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,789 I have other things on my mind. 353 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,668 I do, too. 354 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,682 But you know, she sort of does have a point. 355 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,851 What're you talkin' about? 356 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,814 She's the one who dragged him on a ship he didn't want to be on. 357 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,555 Well, then he should've been more involved in the planning. 358 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,483 Like you were involved in our honeymoon. 359 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,533 What're you talkin' about? 360 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,031 I asked you if you wanted to go to Aspen, Hawaii or Miami. 361 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,074 You said let's take a cruise. 362 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:44,874 Are you sorry you're here? 363 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:47,669 I...i didn't say that. 364 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,050 Well then exactly what did you say? 365 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,088 Well...i don't know what I said. 366 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,679 Well, then it must not have been very important, or you wouldn't have forgotten it. 367 00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:58,681 Can you recite the gettysburg address? 368 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:01,561 What? 369 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,770 Uh-huh...that's important, and you forgot it. 370 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,400 I married a crazy person. 371 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,119 Well, gopher, it looks like three hundred and twenty-one dollars you owe me. 372 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,664 Three hundred and twenty-one dollars? 373 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:27,418 I guess my luck's improving. 374 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:30,747 There you are, wendel. 375 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:31,916 Still playing gin at this hour? 376 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:34,876 I'm getting to like it. 377 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,085 Well, I'm off to bed, and you should be too. 378 00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:38,425 And look at gopher, he's exhausted. 379 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,720 I think that's enough gin for one night. 380 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,848 I'll be with you as soon as I collect my winnings. 381 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,353 Gopher, pay him the five dollars, and then he'll let you go to bed. 382 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,440 Mr.snead, I don't think I have three hundred and twenty-one dollars in my checking account. 383 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,237 That's cash, gopher. 384 00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,322 Cash? 385 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,156 After all, I paid you cash when I lost. 386 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,781 You don't have to pay me right away. 387 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:03,618 Thank you. 388 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:04,452 By noon tomorrow's fine. 389 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:08,708 Noon tomorrow? 390 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:10,785 Three hundred and twenty-one dollars. 391 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,047 Sure do know how to keep the passengers happy. 392 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,094 Let's see...Three hundred and forty-two....No, three twenty-one. 393 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:24,682 That's what it comes out to ....Three-two-one. 394 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:26,984 That's right. 395 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:27,809 Hi, gopher. 396 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:30,519 Mr. Snead. 397 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,154 You want a nightcap before I close up? 398 00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:32,980 Thanks, Isaac. 399 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:33,895 I'll have a gin. 400 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,322 Ah, gin's your drink, and gin's your game. 401 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:37,191 Huh? 402 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,027 Care to join me? 403 00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:40,948 In which one? 404 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:42,198 Both, if you like. 405 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:44,577 You're on. 406 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,887 Passengers who wish to take a land tour when we reach cabo San Lucas, 407 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:07,979 please report to the purser's office. 408 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,098 Thank you. 409 00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:12,095 If we were in Rome now, you'd be looking at the coliseum. 410 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:13,857 Aren't these sights better? 411 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,359 Would you be happier, Gladys, if I closed my eyes? 412 00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,238 I'd settle for your mouth. 413 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:22,990 Julie! 414 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:23,663 Yeah? 415 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:24,450 Ah, look, I gotta find gopher. 416 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:24,873 Have you seen him? 417 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:25,620 No. 418 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:26,331 Oh. 419 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,000 Can I help you? 420 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,248 No, but if you see gopher, tell him I gotta talk to him. 421 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:33,384 Okay....oh, hi, doc. 422 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:34,208 Hi, Sheila. 423 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:39,420 Hello, mr.Snead. 424 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:40,336 Oh, hi. 425 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:41,474 Where's ida? 426 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,800 She's having a little rest. 427 00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,554 She's played so much bingo, she's seeing numbers before her eyes. 428 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,011 Mmm...how 'bout a little company? 429 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,057 I'll play you crazy eights. 430 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,390 I don't know how to play that. 431 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:50,234 Gin? 432 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,060 You twisted my arm. 433 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:54,856 Oh, good. 434 00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:59,736 You know, I can't get over how silly we were last night. 435 00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:01,068 You know, you're really good at fighting. 436 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,203 You're really good at making up. 437 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:02,989 Ahh... 438 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:08,985 Uh-oh, look who's here. 439 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:10,453 Punch and Judy... 440 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:13,790 Hi. 441 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:16,706 Hi. 442 00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:17,593 Hi. 443 00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:18,419 Hey. 444 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:19,303 Enjoying your cruise? 445 00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:20,549 Oh, yes. 446 00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:22,720 I'd rather be in Rome, but thanks to my travel agent here... 447 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,217 You're not gonna start that again, are you, Max? 448 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,264 Hey...hey...we don't always get what we want out of life. 449 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:31,307 I mean...Ellen and I discussed our trip like two rational people, 450 00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:35,483 and it so happened that this time we got to do what she 451 00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:36,402 wanted to do. 452 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,480 What I wanted? 453 00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:39,944 Well, I mean what we both wanted. 454 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:43,275 I mean, if it were up to me, I probably would have gone to Aspen, but what the heck. 455 00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:44,401 I'm making the best of it. 456 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:45,738 Making the best of it? 457 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:46,492 Ah...honey...you're getting me all wrong. 458 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:48,906 I'm getting you right. 459 00:22:48,992 --> 00:22:50,912 The next time you go on a honeymoon, you make the plans. 460 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,795 You know, I bet you don't win an argument till you've been married at least ten years. 461 00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:06,178 You know, you're a regular Henry kissinger. 462 00:23:08,261 --> 00:23:10,511 Gladys, they have to find out what marriage is all about. 463 00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:11,557 Fighting isn't what it's all about. 464 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:14,143 We have plenty of good times, don't we? 465 00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:15,765 Name one. 466 00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:16,772 Oh, Max, I'm being serious. 467 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,820 So am I. 468 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,068 Come on, Gladys...Good times, bad times. 469 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:23,986 Who cares? 470 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:25,319 It's all about being together...And that's all good. 471 00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:28,617 Ah, Max, I do love you. 472 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,535 Mmm...try to tell them that. 473 00:23:32,702 --> 00:23:33,412 Maybe I will. 474 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:35,827 Gladys....! 475 00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:39,633 Maybe you should wear a hat. 476 00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:40,629 This Mexican sun strikes fast. 477 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:42,503 Doctor please... 478 00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:49,801 You sure you don't want to take a swim? 479 00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:50,676 No, thanks. 480 00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:51,682 I don't like to swim. 481 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,067 I think I'll take a swim. 482 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:13,544 Hi. 483 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:14,368 Hi. 484 00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:17,119 How are you? 485 00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:24,125 Fine...you'd better talk fast, because my secret service man will be here any second. 486 00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:29,045 Okay, flipper, move it or lose it.. 487 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:41,733 Here. 488 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:42,653 Don't catch cold. 489 00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:45,067 I didn't know he would be there. 490 00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:54,124 On you, droplets of water seem to be diamonds. 491 00:24:56,369 --> 00:24:57,119 Hi, Isaac. 492 00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:00,919 How bout a drink doc? 493 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,539 No, thanks, but it's nice of you to offer. 494 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:03,586 Sure. 495 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:04,038 What would you like? 496 00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:04,917 A piña collada. 497 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,957 Coming up. 498 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:22,063 On you, droplets of water appear to be diamonds. 499 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:24,231 Oh, Howard. 500 00:25:51,299 --> 00:25:51,629 For you. 501 00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:54,341 I don't want your presents. 502 00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:57,965 This is a peace offering. 503 00:25:58,056 --> 00:26:00,976 Take it or I'll wrap it around your neck! 504 00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:03,139 I'll take it when you admit you were wrong. 505 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,478 Okay,i was wrong. 506 00:26:04,562 --> 00:26:07,652 I was wrong to tell the truth and admit I would rather be in Aspen. 507 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:08,442 Oh....you can keep your Turkey...Turkey. 508 00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:14,490 Kids....oh, kids...Please don't let this happen. 509 00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:16,702 You're beginning to sound just like Max and me. 510 00:26:16,783 --> 00:26:18,833 Gladys, this isn't your fight. 511 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,450 Oh, yes it is. 512 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,957 It is exactly our style...The stubbornness, the pettiness, 513 00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:25,245 and the stupid pig-headedness.. 514 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:30,297 Look I just wanted you to know that we're not always like that. 515 00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:32,970 Sometimes we're very loving and close. 516 00:26:33,049 --> 00:26:37,179 Gladys, don't mix in. 517 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:40,222 Look, it's just that sometimes it seems that fighting is the only way that we can communicate. 518 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:44,694 And I'm so sorry that we did it in front of you. 519 00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:45,439 Gladys, don't apologize for us. 520 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,735 Well, it looks like you're communicating right now. 521 00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:55,364 More than I could say for you. 522 00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:58,744 How about this for communication...Take a hike! 523 00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:02,871 I got you the wrong animal. 524 00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:04,164 I should have bought you a mule! 525 00:27:14,632 --> 00:27:16,092 Now you see what you've done. 526 00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:18,886 Busy messing up their lives when you should have been with me at the skeet shoot. 527 00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:20,848 Oh, shoot this! 528 00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:28,149 P.a: Good morning. 529 00:27:28,229 --> 00:27:30,359 The twelve o'clock luncheon seating will begin in half an hour in the coral dining room. 530 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:33,067 Bon appetit..... 531 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:42,736 Ah, gopher, it's me, Isaac. 532 00:27:43,536 --> 00:27:44,366 Open up. 533 00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:45,254 Oh...isaac, listen... 534 00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,040 I'm...I'm not decent. 535 00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:47,122 Listen, I'll settle for half decent. 536 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:50,093 Ah, come back later, will ya? 537 00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:51,378 Listen, gopher, I gotta talk to you. 538 00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:54,169 It's a matter of life and death. 539 00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:57,931 All right.Just a minute.Hang on. 540 00:27:58,009 --> 00:28:00,599 Listen, gopher, I'm in a jam and you're the only one that can help me out. 541 00:28:00,678 --> 00:28:01,428 I understand. 542 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:02,563 We'll get together sometime next week. 543 00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:04,099 Listen, this is important. 544 00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:05,682 Now you've got the emergency fund, right? 545 00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,477 How did you know I have the emergency fund? 546 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,100 You're in charge of the emergency fund. 547 00:28:09,187 --> 00:28:10,647 Now I need to make a loan, and I need to make it now. 548 00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:12,983 Oh...you need to make a loan. 549 00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:13,896 Ah-huh. 550 00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:14,783 Oh...well... 551 00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:15,569 Yeah. 552 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:18,569 What's that lamp doing there? 553 00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:19,315 I was reading in bed. 554 00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:21,700 Gopher, this is serious. 555 00:28:22,992 --> 00:28:24,622 Now I owe mr.Snead a lot of money. 556 00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:25,412 Oh, mr.Snead.... 557 00:28:27,997 --> 00:28:29,497 Yeah. 558 00:28:29,582 --> 00:28:32,342 After you left the bar last night...Well, we kinda got into a little game of gin. 559 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:34,129 There's one born every minute...Actually, there's two born every minute. 560 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,096 How much did you lose? 561 00:28:44,764 --> 00:28:45,474 Three hundred and twenty-one dollars. 562 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:47,520 Boy, do you play rotten. 563 00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:50,230 I only lost a hundred and forty-nine. 564 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,976 Oh, boy, I'll bet...I'll bet you that's snead, and I'll bet you he wants his money. 565 00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:56,647 So how do you know that? 566 00:28:56,734 --> 00:28:57,364 You haven't even answered it. 567 00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,154 It might be the captain. 568 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,777 By the way, it is not good news. 569 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:01,574 Listen, answer it. 570 00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:08,287 Yeoman purser Smith....Yeah, Julie? 571 00:29:11,749 --> 00:29:12,499 Oh, you're kidding? 572 00:29:14,377 --> 00:29:15,087 Oh, no...Oh, Julie. 573 00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:20,260 Julie, how could you let, 574 00:29:20,341 --> 00:29:21,261 Mr. Snead do that to you? 575 00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:23,677 How much did she lose? 576 00:29:23,761 --> 00:29:24,471 Sixty-seven dollars. 577 00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:27,388 Hm. 578 00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,644 After snead she's the next biggest winner. 579 00:29:29,976 --> 00:29:31,016 No, Julie, just relax. 580 00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:32,312 No, no, no...No, I'll think of something. 581 00:29:33,938 --> 00:29:35,018 Sure. 582 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:40,736 Okay, keep in touch......Oh... 583 00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:42,198 Hi, guys. 584 00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:44,991 Let me try that again....Hi, guys. 585 00:29:49,037 --> 00:29:50,037 That was my best shot. 586 00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:51,041 Doc, we've got a problem here. 587 00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:53,171 I almost had a problem. 588 00:29:53,249 --> 00:29:55,079 A kindly old gentleman almost suckered me into a gin game. 589 00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:58,879 You didn't play with him, did you? 590 00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,013 Are you crazy? 591 00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:02,089 He was working with a marked deck. 592 00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:03,965 How do you know it was a marked deck? 593 00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:05,052 Elementary. 594 00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:07,846 I have the hands of a surgeon. 595 00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:09,851 The eyes of an eagle...And an ex-wife who's a dealer in Vegas. 596 00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:25,914 Okay, we all set? 597 00:30:25,990 --> 00:30:26,320 Hm-hm. 598 00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:26,817 Yeah. 599 00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:27,738 Where's Mrs. Snead? 600 00:30:27,825 --> 00:30:28,905 In the beauty parlor. 601 00:30:28,993 --> 00:30:29,993 And Julie's keeping the captain busy. 602 00:30:30,078 --> 00:30:31,118 Yeah. 603 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:32,874 Yeah, but Julie felt kind of bad about cheating mr.Snead. 604 00:30:33,831 --> 00:30:35,421 He cheated us. 605 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,710 Look, you gotta fight fire with fire. 606 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:38,252 She felt bad. 607 00:30:38,336 --> 00:30:39,126 I don't. 608 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,462 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 609 00:30:40,547 --> 00:30:41,377 Maybe Julie's right. 610 00:30:41,464 --> 00:30:42,424 It's only money. 611 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,587 I mean, among the three of you, how much you out? 612 00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:45,636 Five hundred and thirty-seven dollars. 613 00:30:45,718 --> 00:30:46,468 Over the top! 614 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:01,730 Twelve o'clock. 615 00:31:01,818 --> 00:31:02,528 Right on the button. 616 00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:06,530 Did you bring the.....? 617 00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:09,157 Here it is. 618 00:31:09,242 --> 00:31:10,492 You can count it, if you'd like. 619 00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:12,497 Oh, no...Count it. 620 00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:13,539 Mr.snead, I took that money from the ship's emergency fund. 621 00:31:13,621 --> 00:31:15,461 I sure would like a chance to win some of it back. 622 00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:16,500 No, gopher. 623 00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:18,963 I don't want you to get in any deeper than you are. 624 00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:20,553 Well, what makes you so sure that you're going to win? 625 00:31:22,171 --> 00:31:23,091 Uh...well, who said I was sure? 626 00:31:26,175 --> 00:31:27,335 Then let's see what the cards say. 627 00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:34,848 What are you doing? 628 00:31:34,934 --> 00:31:35,644 Ah...captain...he's got eyes everywhere... 629 00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:40,107 Oh, I'll sit there. 630 00:31:40,189 --> 00:31:41,479 The couch is much more comfortable. 631 00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:49,742 All right. 632 00:32:31,949 --> 00:32:33,699 He's collecting fours and clubs. 633 00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:41,708 Lunch is now being served in the coral dining room. 634 00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:45,593 Our special today is number four ...Club sandwich. 635 00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:50,887 May we also recommend our chicken ala king. 636 00:32:50,968 --> 00:32:52,638 Our chefs really put their hearts into this one. 637 00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,897 McCoy... 638 00:33:07,985 --> 00:33:11,355 Captain stubing...Sir, I'd like to go over some of the details for the party tonight. 639 00:33:11,447 --> 00:33:13,197 Yeah, well, I was just going in to lunch. 640 00:33:13,282 --> 00:33:14,452 That chicken ala king sounds good. 641 00:33:14,534 --> 00:33:16,874 Yeah, I understand, sir, but I've just a few of these details... 642 00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:17,913 Later, miss McCoy. 643 00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:20,075 I don't want them to run out of chicken ala king. 644 00:33:20,164 --> 00:33:22,134 Yeah...captain!....captain, sir, I really do have to talk to you. 645 00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:22,708 Miss McCoy, I'm starved. 646 00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:28,089 See me after lunch. 647 00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:30,222 There'll be a full dress party on the lido deck tonight. 648 00:33:30,299 --> 00:33:31,009 Isn't that Isaac? 649 00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:33,393 Yes, sir. 650 00:33:33,469 --> 00:33:34,929 He's terrific, isn't he? 651 00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:37,812 Yes, ladies, you can wear your diamonds, so discard any other plans you may have. 652 00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:44,232 Overdoing it a bit, I'd say. 653 00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:52,030 Snead needs a nine of spades to make gin. 654 00:33:56,659 --> 00:33:57,829 Our foreign film festival continues this afternoon with, 655 00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:00,749 "Nein, mein leibchen" starring hildegard spaderhoff. 656 00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:10,297 Coming. 657 00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:18,806 Oh, hi, Sheila. 658 00:34:19,932 --> 00:34:20,982 Hi, doc. 659 00:34:21,058 --> 00:34:21,808 Doc isn't here. 660 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:23,393 I haven't seen him for the past hour. 661 00:34:24,645 --> 00:34:25,855 He must be making house calls. 662 00:34:25,938 --> 00:34:28,568 Uh...uh...come in..... 663 00:34:43,873 --> 00:34:45,543 If I'd gone without seeing you for another five minutes 664 00:34:48,377 --> 00:34:50,957 i wouldn't have been responsible for my actions. 665 00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:53,797 Oh...howard, you always have the perfect thing to say right on the tip of your tongue. 666 00:34:57,261 --> 00:34:58,681 This is Isaac, your bartender saying...Run one-two-three, 667 00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:06,398 to the starlight lounge where we're serving martinis that are nearly all gin. 668 00:35:08,314 --> 00:35:08,694 Gin? 669 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:12,743 Nearly all gin? 670 00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:16,695 Now he's doing plugs for his martinis. 671 00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:22,996 Baby, this isn't just one of those things. 672 00:35:24,413 --> 00:35:25,333 This is a for real relationship. 673 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,128 Oh, Howard, you make me so happy. 674 00:35:29,877 --> 00:35:31,587 I can't wait till you meet my father. 675 00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:33,631 He was afraid I'd meet one of those phonies on board... 676 00:35:35,091 --> 00:35:36,011 Someone who'd take advantage of me. 677 00:35:37,468 --> 00:35:38,178 But you....Oh....Oh, Howard.. 678 00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:49,648 What's the book? 679 00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:51,398 Book? 680 00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:52,282 Is that a book? 681 00:35:52,358 --> 00:35:53,398 "No girl can resist this line. 682 00:35:55,778 --> 00:36:00,198 "Baby, this isn't just one of those things, this is a for real relationship." 683 00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:01,703 Ah, Sheila....No. 684 00:36:01,784 --> 00:36:02,744 "How to hit on girls" 685 00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:03,577 oh, please, I... 686 00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:06,248 "How to hit on girls!...." 687 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:08,749 Please... 688 00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:10,083 How 'bout how to hit on boys. 689 00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:10,957 No....oh, no.... 690 00:36:11,043 --> 00:36:14,513 How 'bout how to hit on boys. 691 00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:23,762 Good afternoon, this is the officer of the watch. 692 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:27,888 If you look off the port side, you can see a rather large school of dolphins. 693 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,145 But, captain, he's a crook. 694 00:36:37,236 --> 00:36:39,106 That doesn't explain your behavior. 695 00:36:39,196 --> 00:36:41,946 But, captain, listen, we were only trying to beat him at his own game. 696 00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:45,623 If he were a nudist, would you run around naked? 697 00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:50,173 Come in. 698 00:36:50,249 --> 00:36:53,629 Captain stubing, sir! 699 00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:56,801 Mr.snead....i owe you an apology. 700 00:36:56,881 --> 00:37:01,591 They owe you an apology. 701 00:37:01,677 --> 00:37:05,307 My crew has been cheating you at cards. 702 00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:09,809 I thought I was just unlucky. 703 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:13,524 I assure you, they will be dealt with. 704 00:37:13,606 --> 00:37:14,436 Dealt with? 705 00:37:14,523 --> 00:37:15,323 How? 706 00:37:15,399 --> 00:37:17,359 They'll be dismissed. 707 00:37:22,573 --> 00:37:23,623 They're gonna lose their jobs? 708 00:37:23,699 --> 00:37:26,489 That's what it means. 709 00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:27,827 No, captain. 710 00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:30,002 That' wouldn't be fair. 711 00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:32,381 I was cheating them, too. 712 00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:43,430 Mr.snead...you should be ashamed. 713 00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:44,511 I am ashamed. 714 00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:48,675 I only did it because I desperately needed the money. 715 00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:51,846 I mortgaged our house to pay for this cruise. 716 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:55,896 Ida wanted so much to see her grandchildren. 717 00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:59,282 I have no way to pay that money back...Oh, my god. 718 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,410 This is gonna kill ida. 719 00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:28,215 Sir, we have got our money back. 720 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,636 Yes, captain, don't you think.... 721 00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:41,074 Mr. Snead....It looks to me like things are just about even. 722 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:44,532 Let's consider this matter closed. 723 00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:12,766 Listen, Sheila, I have to get this off my chest. 724 00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:15,560 This whole thing is Bernie's fault. 725 00:39:20,816 --> 00:39:22,736 See what I saved you from? 726 00:39:22,818 --> 00:39:25,778 Now he's talking to himself. 727 00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:30,203 He's probably the only one he could find who'd listen. 728 00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:38,168 Mind if I sit down? 729 00:39:38,250 --> 00:39:40,460 Oh, no, please do. 730 00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:42,250 Where's your husband? 731 00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:44,338 Who cares? 732 00:39:48,344 --> 00:39:50,354 Bourbon on the rocks, please. 733 00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:51,259 Comin' up. 734 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:54,017 Well, it's you. 735 00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:54,520 Great. 736 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,350 Just what I needed. 737 00:39:56,435 --> 00:39:57,475 Hey, I was here first, troublemaker. 738 00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,151 Troublemaker? 739 00:39:59,230 --> 00:39:59,980 Me? 740 00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:00,984 That's right. 741 00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:02,975 Because of you, my wife isn't speaking to me. 742 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:06,607 Well, my wife isn't speaking to me either, and I'm on my honeymoon. 743 00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:10,155 What do you want me to do, ask you to dance? 744 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,201 Here we are, folks. 745 00:40:11,283 --> 00:40:15,913 This is our lido deck and the swimming pool is real. 746 00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,665 Oh, hello! 747 00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:20,840 Hi. 748 00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:22,168 Julie, gopher... 749 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,763 Mr.snead wanted you to meet the family, especially the grandchildren. 750 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,169 Hi. 751 00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:29,337 And this is Sarah, and bill, my daughter Anita, and her husband frank. 752 00:40:29,426 --> 00:40:30,386 Well, how do you do? 753 00:40:30,469 --> 00:40:31,759 Mucho gusto. 754 00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,136 Now, Julie, don't forget you promised to show them all over the ship. 755 00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:35,063 It'll be my pleasure. 756 00:40:35,141 --> 00:40:38,351 And then we'll come back and join the party. 757 00:40:38,435 --> 00:40:40,515 How 'bout if I show you the captain's quarters? 758 00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:41,114 Great. 759 00:40:41,188 --> 00:40:41,808 We'll go up to the bridge. 760 00:40:41,897 --> 00:40:42,817 He won't even know we're there. 761 00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:44,858 Come on. 762 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:03,876 I don't understand it. 763 00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:08,721 Before we were married, Scott and I never fought. 764 00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:12,719 I remember once Max and I didn't have a single argument for six whole weeks. 765 00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:16,391 His jaw was broken. 766 00:41:18,642 --> 00:41:20,102 Sheila, I have to get this off my chest. 767 00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,016 It's all Bernie's fault. 768 00:41:21,103 --> 00:41:24,943 See he gave me.... 769 00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:56,006 Gentlemen, I spend a lot of time over the years dispensing advice. 770 00:41:58,265 --> 00:41:59,595 You want to know what I think? 771 00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:00,483 I don't. 772 00:42:00,559 --> 00:42:02,139 I don't. 773 00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:07,976 Listen to me, kid...Play hard to get. 774 00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:09,237 She'll come around. 775 00:42:09,318 --> 00:42:13,278 You gotta keep women under your thumb, or you'll lose control. 776 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:14,624 Well, I got a better idea, Max. 777 00:42:14,698 --> 00:42:17,618 I'm gonna tell her I'm sorry. 778 00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:18,451 Why? 779 00:42:18,535 --> 00:42:19,325 You weren't wrong. 780 00:42:19,411 --> 00:42:20,451 Neither was she. 781 00:42:20,538 --> 00:42:23,958 Max, someone's gotta say i'm sorry, 782 00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:27,461 or each day the...The anger gets buried a little deeper until one day you find 783 00:42:27,544 --> 00:42:29,804 it's so deep, it'll never come out. 784 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,260 You don't understand, kid. 785 00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:37,221 Marriages may be made in heaven, but they're lived in Pittsburgh. 786 00:42:37,304 --> 00:42:40,144 What Gladys and I have ...May not be perfect, 787 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:44,274 but it's all we've got ....And that's okay with me. 788 00:42:44,353 --> 00:42:45,813 Well, if it's so okay, Max. 789 00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:48,726 How come you're sitting here and...She's sitting over there? 790 00:43:02,746 --> 00:43:04,666 Ellen, I'm sorry. 791 00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:05,538 Wrong. 792 00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:06,464 Wrong? 793 00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:07,632 I'm sorry. 794 00:43:50,919 --> 00:43:52,379 Gladys... 795 00:43:55,341 --> 00:43:58,971 I'm...um...I'm sorry. 796 00:44:02,222 --> 00:44:07,772 Oh, Max, you haven't said i'm sorry in...In twenty-five years. 797 00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:14,572 I'm sorry for that, too. 798 00:44:14,651 --> 00:44:17,031 Oh, Max.... 799 00:44:31,293 --> 00:44:34,303 Listen, Sheila....I have to get this off your chest. 800 00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:36,550 I mean off my chest. 801 00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:37,422 It's Bernie's fault. 802 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,128 He gave me the book. 803 00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:41,348 See, beautiful girls don't go for me. 804 00:44:41,428 --> 00:44:43,598 But you're different. 805 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,930 I don't mean that you're not beautiful, 806 00:44:46,016 --> 00:44:52,436 you are,to me anyway.What I mean is, Sheila, that,if you were my 807 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:58,823 girl.I'd be so proud.I'd climb the highest mountain and i'd yell. 808 00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:01,282 She's my girl! 809 00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:02,115 She's my girl! 810 00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:03,119 She's my girl! 811 00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:12,753 You didn't get that out of any book. 812 00:45:19,716 --> 00:45:21,466 Isaac. 813 00:45:24,721 --> 00:45:29,021 Mr.snead,we know that mortgage money has been on your mind, 814 00:45:29,101 --> 00:45:33,731 and so the crew got together and they decided to give you this. 815 00:45:33,814 --> 00:45:34,734 What's this? 816 00:45:34,815 --> 00:45:37,935 That's the money from the ship's emergency fund. 817 00:45:38,026 --> 00:45:42,196 We use that....When one of us is in trouble. 818 00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:44,947 Why are you giving it to me? 819 00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:49,083 Well, like Isaac said when one of our family is in trouble. 820 00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:51,043 Family? 821 00:45:51,123 --> 00:45:54,673 You'd consider me family after what I've done to you? 822 00:45:54,751 --> 00:45:55,841 After I lied to you? 823 00:45:55,919 --> 00:45:58,509 After I cheated you? 824 00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:02,969 Being part of a family means knowing how to forgive, too. 825 00:46:04,928 --> 00:46:05,718 And here we are. 826 00:46:05,804 --> 00:46:09,684 Back where we started. 827 00:46:14,646 --> 00:46:16,686 How lucky can one man get. 828 00:46:16,773 --> 00:46:20,193 I've got two families. 829 00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,715 Scott and I have been talking it over. 830 00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,050 What do you say we all spend our vacation together next year? 831 00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:47,136 I think it's a wonderful idea. 832 00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:48,431 Yeah, we could go to Rome. 833 00:46:48,514 --> 00:46:49,564 We could go to Aspen. 834 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:50,520 Rome? 835 00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:51,349 Aspen? 836 00:46:51,433 --> 00:46:52,733 We were thinking about another cruise. 837 00:46:52,809 --> 00:46:54,729 Oh, well, if you insist. 838 00:46:54,811 --> 00:46:57,401 If I'm forced to. 839 00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:58,271 She's engaged? 840 00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,227 How could that be? 841 00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:01,277 A thousand to one shot. 842 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,900 Oh, she doesn't know what she's doing. 843 00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:03,736 She's an innocent. 844 00:47:03,820 --> 00:47:06,910 Another thousand to one shot. 845 00:47:06,990 --> 00:47:11,870 Herb, be happy that she found someone to love her for what she is. 846 00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:13,254 You're right. 847 00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:14,080 Daddy! 848 00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:15,004 Sheila! 849 00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:16,882 Honey...oh... 850 00:47:16,959 --> 00:47:17,959 This is Howard. 851 00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:23,133 Hello....I'd know that walk anywhere. 852 00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:26,425 You're miss america. 853 00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:30,140 Darling, you don't need this anymore. 854 00:47:37,145 --> 00:47:40,145 All ashore who's going ashore. 855 00:47:49,366 --> 00:47:50,736 Merrill, what the hell have you done?!! 856 00:47:50,826 --> 00:47:52,156 Done? 857 00:47:52,244 --> 00:47:56,624 Herb, they're made for each other. 858 00:47:58,875 --> 00:48:01,745 Well, I'm certainly gonna miss you guys on my one day off. 859 00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:02,837 No kidding? 860 00:48:02,921 --> 00:48:03,711 We're not gonna miss you. 861 00:48:03,797 --> 00:48:04,587 Hey...hi... 862 00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:05,513 Hi. 863 00:48:05,591 --> 00:48:07,511 I'll remember this cruise as long as I live. 864 00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:09,933 Ah, we're glad you enjoyed yourself. 865 00:48:10,012 --> 00:48:10,802 Please, come back again. 866 00:48:10,887 --> 00:48:11,717 You bet we will. 867 00:48:11,805 --> 00:48:13,265 I can't wait to meet my grandchildren again. 868 00:48:13,348 --> 00:48:15,518 Gopher, I'll pay that money back. 869 00:48:15,601 --> 00:48:17,141 Every penny of it somehow. 870 00:48:17,227 --> 00:48:18,097 You take your time. 871 00:48:18,186 --> 00:48:20,146 At least this way you won't lose your house. 872 00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:21,980 But I don't want to lose my friends either. 873 00:48:22,065 --> 00:48:24,815 Gopher, is he still trying to collect gambling debts from you? 874 00:48:24,901 --> 00:48:25,691 Well... 875 00:48:25,777 --> 00:48:26,447 Well, forget it. 876 00:48:26,528 --> 00:48:30,448 I'll pay wendel the five dollars. 877 00:48:30,532 --> 00:48:31,662 Should we get a cab here now? 878 00:48:31,742 --> 00:48:34,332 Yes. 879 00:48:34,411 --> 00:48:35,411 Bye bye.