# Workin' up a fever in a one-horse town
# Was a jockey by the name of Joe
# He didn't have a lot of what you might call luck
# But he had a lot of get up n' go
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
The Rutles story is a legend. A living legend,
A legend that will live long after lots of other living legends have died.
Tonight we are extremely proud to present the semi-legendary life story of the prefab four:
Dirk, Nasty, Stig and Barry who made the sixties what they are today. The fabulous Rutles
# Tall in the saddle in a one-horse town
# Joey knew someday he'd hit the road
# He traded with a dealer for a pick-up truck
# And he went looking for a medium load
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
From these streets, very close to the Cavern Rutland
came the fabulous "Rutland sound", created by the prefab four:
Dirk, Nasty, Stig and Barry
Who created a musical legend, that will last a lunchtime
They were discovered by their manager 'Leggy Mountbatten' in a lunchtime disco very close to these streets
Their first album was made in 20 minutes, the second took even longer
Tonight we examine the legend of The Rutles. We look at their lives, their loves, their music
We examine some of the problems that made them what they are today
And we shall also be asking some of the people who worked with them
If they were really the sort of lovable people they were made out to be
We shall be asking many people who knew them what they were really like
Yes tonight we examine the entire legend of The Rutles
But where did the story start?
The answer is: right here!
For on this very spot
Ron Nasty and Dirk McQuickly first bumped into each other
At this precise point, just a few feet back here
Ron Nasty invited Dirk to help him stand up
Dirk, merely an amateur drinker, agreed. And here, well a few feet back there
a musical legend was created.
They were soon joined by their guitarist, Stig O'Hara, a school-leaver of no fixed hairstyle
But it would not be for another two years, before they found their drummer, Barrington Womble, hiding in the van
When they did they persuaded him to change his name, to save time, and his haircut, to save Brylcreem
He became simply Barry Wom
Goose-steppin' Mama
# Undercover charge
# Goose-step Mama
# Taken by an' large
# While you tinker with some tailor
# Someone sold yer to a sailor
# Goose-step Mama, oh yeah!
# Goose-step Mama
# Boogie all night long
# Goose-step Mama
# You can do no wrong
# You know how to reassemble
# Clumsy hands and knees that tremble
# Goose-step Mama, oh yeah!
# Goose-step Mama
In October 1961 Leggy Mountbatten, a retail chemist from Bolton, entered their lives
Leggy had lost a leg in the RAF in the closing over’s of WW2
and had been hopping around Liverpool ever since
As a child, Leggy's mother never allowed him to play with the other little boys
His father was so snobby, he wore swimming trunks in the bath
to stop him looking down on the unemployed
But it was here, in Liverpool th...
But it was in Liverpool, that we spoke with Leggy's mother Mrs. Iris Mountbatten
Well he told me that he'd been to see these young men in a dark cellar
Yes
He was always very interested in young men
Oh, yes
Youth clubs, Boy Scouts, that sort of thing
Yes
But...these he said were different
In what way?
Well...their hair and... their presence
and their music
He liked it?
No, he hated it
Well what did he like?
Well
The trousers
What about their trousers?
Well...they were
They were very...tight
Tight?
- Yes, you could see quite clearly - Oh I see
Everything
Outlines...clear as day
Yes, yes thank you yes So...tight trousers and
- Nothing left to the imagination - Yes, thank you
I am standing in the world's naughtiest street, the notorious Reeperbahn, Hamburg
For four hungry working class lads
There are worse places than prison
And the Rat Keller, Hamburg is one of these
This is where they found themselves
Far from home and far from talented
Inside here is where they actually played
Come with me now inside, or...
As the Germans say, "mit mirer gekommen inside"
In those early days, there was a fifth Rutle - Leppo
A friend of Nasty’s from art college
Who mainly used to stand at the back, he couldn't play the guitar
But he knew how to have a good time, and in Hamburg that was more important
I am standing in the original Rat Keller, and indeed these are some of the original rats
It was to this small back room that Dirk, Stig, Nasty, Barry and Leppo
came to relax when they weren't upstairs entertaining the other rats dining in the other Rat Keller
Here they had bed & breakfast. there's the bed, the breakfast of course long since gone
Rodently chewed, mouse masticated, in a word, eaten by rats
Incidentally, Rat Keller means literally, in German, cellar of rats
That's not seller of rats, a seller of rats, a person
Who sells rats for a living to another man as it were, of course not
It means a cellar full of rats
Indeed you might say, cellar full of Ratles
In October 19...ah...err...Hello! Oh dear, there's a rat up my leg
In October 1961 Leggy was busy hopping round London, trying to sell their tapes
Well, one day this rather odd chap hopped into the office...he'd...
He'd been to see virtually every-one in the business, and been shown the door
He asked to see my door, but I...I wouldn't show it to him
Instead he showed me the photographs, and the tapes of The Rutles
They were pretty rough... but they had something
What was it?
I think it was the trousers
Well I liked the trousers right away
Well I mean I've been in the garment trade myself and I knew a thing or two about inside legs and these were winners
Dick Jaws, an unemployed music publisher of no fixed ability
signed them up for the rest of their lives
Lucky really
# Number One, Number One
# You're my Number One
# You're my second-to-none
# Number One, Number One
Leggy Mountbatten in his autobiography "A Cellar Full Of Goys"
of the excitement of those early days
When they rode the go-kart to fame and took the ferry across the Mersey to a land of riches, wealth and heartache
Leggy put them into suits, he put them into the recording studio and he put them into the newspapers
For The Rutles success was only a drumbeat away
# I'm looking at you
# You're looking at me
# Between us, it's oh, so easy to see
# We were made for each other, girl
# We were made for each other
# Between us
# Love has begun
# Between us
# Two hearts are one
# Between us
# Nothing can come between us
# Whatever we do
# Whenever we kiss
# Between you and me, it's not hit n' miss
# We were made for each other, girl
# We were made for each other
# Between us
# Love has begun
# Between us
They chased me, and they caught me, and they beat me up
Who did?
Those little girls
One of them screamed in my ear
# Between us
# Nothing can come
# Nothing can come between us
I asked Mick Jagger, when he first became aware of The Rutles
We we living in, you know, squalor and we didn't have any money
And there were the Rutles on the TV with girls chasing them, we thought...
"This can't be that difficult", so we thought we'd have a go ourselves
What's your ambition?
To be a hairdresser
Or Two. I'd like to be two hairdressers
The first time I met The Rutles, they came down to see us at Richmond and they...
And we had just completed a number and all of a sudden they were standing there
In their black suits, they had just come off a TV show
And they were just standing there... sort of...checking us out, the opposition
And then they introduced themselves
Dirk, Stig, Nasty, Barry.
I'd like to own a squadron of tanks
They were very nice, you know
because they'd heard about us...
Because we were the south's answer to The Rutles, you know, at that time
What Ron and I will do is probably to write some songs, you know, and sell them to people
We tried to write some for the Rolling Stones and they're probably going to buy them
The one for that was Dirk. He was a real hustler for the songs I think
Always wanting to sell a song, you know, for any old slag he'd sell a song to
And they came down, they came down, and we were trying to rehearse and they said: "Do you want a song?"
And we said: "Yeah we're always really open for songs" because we didn't write our own
And of course The Rutles were always well known for their hit-making potential...ability
And so, they ran round the corner to the pub, to write this song, and came back with it
And played it to us, and...
it was horrible
So we never bothered to record it
It was a busy week for the prefab four, as the fever of Rutlemania rolls over England
On Tuesday Rutlemania came to London
As Rutles fans jammed Piccadilly Circus and brought London's traffic to a standstill
Nobody's seen anything quite like this since the war
Look out girls! Here come The Rutles!
And for some, the event is clearly too much! Oh well, she's safe in the arms of the law
First to arrive is Rutle fan Princess Margaret
Escorted by her husband Lord Snowdon Tony Armstrong Jones
Her Majesty herself was there to greet the Rutles on this royal glittering occasion
The Annual Royal Command Performance
Thank you very much thank you
And now we'd like to do a number dedicated to a very special lady in the audience tonight
Barry's mum
And now, without anymore ado here's your own, your very own
Dirk McQuickly!
# Shoot me down in flames if I should tell a lie
# Cross my heart I promise that it's true
# I've been in love so many times before
# but never with a girl like you
# With a girl like you
# to hold and be beside
# With a girl like you
# to fill my heart with pride and joy
# With a girl like you
# I know where I belong
# With a girl like you
# I know I can be strong, you know
# I won't bring you any pain
# I won't run around again
# There'll be nothing to explain
# with a girl like you
The Queen too is a Rutle fan
And she enjoyed the performance so much that on Wednesday they went back to her place to receive MBE's
Well done lads! England's proud of you!
- It must have been a great honour meeting the Queen - Yeah, it must have been
- What did she ask you? - She asked us who we were
What did you say?
I said I was him
I felt more like him than me
- Do you feel better after seeing the Queen? - No, you feel better after seeing the doctor
- Not my doctor you don't - Not your doctor, no
- What are you going to do now? - Back to your place!
But all rest an no play makes Rutles dull boys
On Thursday they flew to America, to find out if they were more than nine day wonders
They needn't have worried America loves The Rutles too
In many cases, even more
It's Rutles day in Flushing...
He's good this guy is, called Murray "The K"
Soft in the head sounds like
Come on! Flushing Animals! What do you want to know? What do you want to hear?
If you call me up at 555-21-60 and say you wanna hear anything but the Rutles
I'm gonna come lookin' for ya!
I mean it! Because it's Rutles day, they're going to be here tomorrow, talking about their trousers
It's a big big day here in Flushing!
Lets give 'em a big round of applause! I know I can't hear you!
But I know I can pick up what you're saying baby!
The scene is here in Flushing!
The whole world's eyes are on Flushing!
Because the prefab four are coming to town tomorrow...
To talk about their trousers
I don't know about this, do you? - No
And then it's back to the hotel for some fun and games!
This is tea, you know we drink it. We put the water in the tea, there's the tea, there.
- And we pour it into the pot - One for Uncle Mamy and one for Auntie Betty
But it's all in a day's work for England's ambassadors of musical fun, The Rutles
That's show business
I'm actually standing outside the actual hotel, in which The Rutles actually stayed in 1964
Actually in this room, here. And it was actually inside this actual room
That I actually spoke with the actual Paul Simon
Well the show where I remember Ed Sullivan saying that
"Calm down now, every-one calm down" you know, "We can't hear" or some...some kind of silly warning you know
They opened the show, I think, and they also closed the show
Which I thought was a...astute planning on Sullivan’s part
Because it would've made you very angry if you had to sit through the whole show to wait to see The Rutles you know
So clearly every-one had tuned into that week's show, just to see The Rutles
Now yesterday and today our theatre has been jammed with newspapermen and hundreds of photographers from all over the nation
And these veterans agreed with me, that the city never has witnessed the excitement stirred
By these youngsters from Liverpool, who call themselves The Rutles
Now tonight you're gonna twice be entertained by them, right now and again in the second half of our show
Ladies and gentlemen The Rutles!
# I'm not the kind of guy who likes to play
# Big Brother
# But I've just seen your date outside, he's with
# Another
# I saw you both come in
# And clearly, you're not meant for him, so
# Please, please, hold my hand
# Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
# Hold my hand and I'll see you home
# I want to tell you I'm in love with you
# Completely
# I'd like to take you far away from here
# Discreetly
# Our love was meant to be
# And darling, it's a certainty, oh
# Please, please, hold my hand
# Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
# Hold my hand and I'll see you home
# Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
# Hold my hand and I'll see you home
The Rutles music meanwhile had been attracting respectable critical attention
'The London Times' called it "The best since Schubert"
Sir Brian Morrison has been Regis professor of music at the University of Oxford for the past thirty years
We asked him just how good, musically, were The Rutles
Stanley J. Krammerhead III Jnr is an occasional visiting
professor of Applied Narcotics at the University of Please-Yourself, California
He is also a keen historian of pop music
We asked him just how good, musically, were The Rutles
Listen, look it's very simply, musicological and ethically
The Rutles were essentially empirical maise-longues so they rhythmically radical
Yet verbally passé and temporarily transcended lyrical content
Welded with historically innovative melodically material, transposed and transmogrified
By the angst of the Rutland ethic experience, which elevated them
From essentially alpha exponents of in essence merely beta potential harmonic material
Into the prime cultural exponents of Aeolian codensic cosmic stanza form
But he didn't really tell us either
So we went to New Orleans, to find out just how expensive it is to make these documentaries
I'm standing by the banks of the Mississippi. The First Na...
I'm standing by the banks of the Mississippi in Louisiana, the cradle of the blues
That's black music sung mainly by whites
And we're here to find out the black origins of Rutle music
I spoke with Blind Lemon Pie.
Well everything I learned, I learned from The Rutles
From The Rutles, really?
Yes, everything
But surely you were singing the blues back in the early thirties
No, I was working on the railroad
I worked on the railroad for thirty years or more
Until I heard The Rutles. and I decided, that that's my type of music
I'm gonna leave the railroad, and I became a musician and I've been starving ever since
- So where did Rutle music originate? - Next door
- Next door? - Next door to Ruttling Orange Peel
Yes sir, I originated The Rutles. They got it all from me. Every single bit of it
- Well how do you mean? - Well sir, they come here
And they took everything I ever written. Those four guys from Liverpool came here
- He's lyin'! - I ain't lyin'!
- He's always lyin'! - I ain't lyin'! I ain't lyin'!
Every time there's a documentary on white music around here, he claims he started it all
I did, I did, I did!
Last week he claimed he started The Everly Brothers
- Frank Sinatra and Laurence Wells! - I did, I did! - He's always lyin'!
Well we seem to be rather wasting our time here in New Orleans
Despite the expense
Still it's pretty isn't it?
Well from New Orleans back to Liverpool
Some people say you've been staying away from Liverpool now you're famous
No we haven't been staying away, as much as not coming here
Some people say it's six months since you came back here
- Well that's the sort of thing some people would say - Nevertheless it has been six months
Now you're saying it...why don't you ask me where I've been?
- Where have you been? - I'm not telling you
Nasty had written and published a bestselling book:
"Out Of Me Head"
Only one media remained unconquered
The cinema
In 1965 "A Hard Day's Rut" changed all that
# I feel good
# I feel bad
# I feel happy
# I feel sad
# Am I in love?
# I must be in love
# I feel rich
# I feel poor
# I'm in doubt
# I feel sure
# Am I in love?
# I must be in love
# Any time of the day I can see
# Her face, when I close my eyes
# She's a dream
# She is real
# Can't explain
# How I feel
# Am I in love?
# I must be in love
# Any time of the day I can see
# Her face, when I close my eyes
# Am I dead
# Or alive?
# Can my poor heart
# Survive?
# Am I in love?
# I must be in love
# I feel good
# I feel bad
# I feel happy
# I feel sad
# Am I in love?
# I must be in love
Roger McGough is a Liverpool poet
He's the author of many books set in and around Liverpool
Including "Mersey Sound", "Gig", "The Liverpool Scene" and two of his Liverpool poems are
In the "The Oxford Book of Twentieth Century's English Verse"
He was born in Liverpool, attended school in Liverpool, was even married in Liverpool
And his football team is of course Everton
He's a member of the "The Scaffold", a light comedy group
Who played The Cavern during the early sixties
And during those incredible years he lived, wrote, loved, watched football and drank in Liverpool
- Roger, did you know The Rutles? - Oh yes yes
Roger McGough, Liverpool poet, writer, author, humorist, bon-vivre, and a man who knew The Rutles!
Australia
Canada
Wales
The Rutles were now world-wide successes. They'd rubbed shoulders with the great
Their pictures were everywhere. Their names endorsed a thousand products
From tee-shirts to garter belts to pillowcases
Leggy was besieged by merchandisers
We felt every girl in America is gonna to want to sleep with a Rutle
Yes we have a complete line of Rutles products all ready to go
The Rutle tee-shirt, the Rutle plate, the Rutle cup, the Rutle acne cream, the Rutle hairclips
All a complete line of Rutles products, and all I need from you is just your word and
- We're in business. - We're in business?
I like the way you work
Brian Thigh was a top record executive in London in 1962
Mr. Thigh, you've been known for many many years as the man who turned down The Rutles
Yeah that's right
You said guitar groups were on the way out and
Would never make any money at all in the sixties
Yes I did
You turned your back on all those millions of sales, all those hundreds of gold records
Yeah, yeah that's right
- What's it like to be such an asshole? - What?!
# I grew up in the country
# Beside a chicken shack
# So I left for the city
# And I didn't look back
# Now, I'm livin' in hope
# Livin' in hope
# I'm livin' in hope
# Livin' in hope
# Yes, I'm livin' in hope
# Livin' in hope
At the height of Rutlemania in 1965, their drummer Barry Wom, the noisy one
Returned home to Liverpool, to marry his childhood sweet-heart
The church was packed with Rutle fans
All of whom wanted to get a close look at The Rutles
Inside the dimly lit, crowded church Barry got separated from his fiancé
And ended up with a different bride
In the confusion, Barry's bride-to-be, twenty-three year old butcher's apprentice, Brenda Liola
Was accidentally married to a party of Scotsman from Hull
Inspiring Barry's haunting ballad
"When you find the girl of your dreams in the arms of some Scotsmen from Hull"
Hello, London here
And it's from London that we go to Switzerland to The Rutles second movie "Ouch!"
Filmed in colour, on location very expensively, not in London
# Ouch!
# You're breakin' my heart
# Ouch!
# I'm fallin' apart
# Ouch!
# Ow, ow, Ouch!
# When we first met
# I must admit I fell for you right from the start
# Now when we meet
# All kinds of things it seems upset the apple cart
# Ouch!
# Don't desert me
# Ouch!
# Please don't hurt me
# Ouch!
# Ow, ow, Ouch!
# What is this thing
# Called love why do they say it makes the world go 'round?
# I can't explain
# The way I feel for you, my feet don't touch the ground
# Ouch!
# Don't desert me
# Ouch!
# Please don't hurt me
# Ouch!
# Ow, ow, Ouch!
# When we first met
# I must admit I fell for you right from the start
# Now when we meet
# All kinds of things it seems upset the apple cart
# Ouch!
# Don't desert me
# Ouch!
# Please don't hurt me
# Ouch!
# Ow, ow, Ouch!
# Ouch!
# Don't desert me
# Ouch!
# Please don't hurt me
# Ouch!
# Ow, ow, Ouch!
Che Stadium. Named after the Cuban guerrilla leader, Che Stadium
And it was here, in 1965, that The Rutles came, well, not here in the car park obviously
But back there, in the stadium that The Rutles came in 1965 to a capacity house, a sell-out
The thing I remember about it is them running out into the middle of this field
And you couldn't see them, there they were, like, you know, just miles away
There...is it really The Rutles? It might be somebody else
# There was no one in my life till I met you
# You brought me love and taught me how to smile
# You picked me up when I was feeling blue
# From now on my future is worthwhile
# It's lookin' good, it's lookin' good
# It's lookin' good!
# Now that you have given me reason to live
# I will stay forever by your side
# And give you all the lovin' I can give
# Just say the word, and be my bride
# It's lookin' good, it's lookin' good
# It's lookin' good!
# I'm not throwing caution to the winds, oh no
# Love is not an easy game to play
# Though I may not be a man of words, yeah, yeah
# There is one thing I feel obliged to say
# It's lookin' good, it's lookin' good
# It's lookin' good
You couldn't hear anything
How long did they play?
About twenty minutes and that was it, off, helicopter
Back to the Warwick Hotel, two birds each
In 1966 The Rutles faced the biggest threat to their careers
Nasty, in a widely quoted interview
Apparently had claimed that The Rutles were bigger than God
And had gone on to say that God had never had a hit record
The story spread like wildfire in America
Many fans burnt their albums
Many more burnt their fingers attempting to burn their albums
Album sales sky-rocketed, people were buying them, just to burn them
But in fact it was all a ghastly mistake
Nasty talking to a slightly deaf journalist
Had claimed only that The Rutles were bigger than Rod
Rod Steward would not be big for another eight years
That's all I said you know, now all this has to happen
- What do you think it proves? - I think it proves you're all daft!
I suppose I'll get into trouble for saying that now
Nasty apologised to God, Rod and the press and the tour went ahead as planned
But it would be The Rutles last
Playing all the places where we're supposed to play, and we hope we can, you know, bring a bit of
You know, je ne sais quoi to America
At the end of it they met Bob Dylan in the idyllic San Francisco of the mid-sixties
And he introduced them to a strange substance, which was to have an enormous affect on them
Tea
Despite warnings that it would lead to stronger things
The Rutles enjoyed the pleasant effects of tea
And it influenced enormously their greatest work: Sgt. Rutters
Of course the main thing that comes to my mind with the Sgt. Rutter album is
Getting stoned and listening to it with the earphones you know
Particularly the, you know, the chord that lasted forever you know
The release of this album, a millstone in pop music history
Contributed greatly to an idyllic summer of bells, flowers and tea drinking
It's music led thousands to experiment with tea
Eventually even the press found out and offered Dirk the chance to deny it
It's not up to me, if you come and ask me I'm going to tell you the truth
Because it is the truth, I have had tea
Lots of tea...Indian tea... ...and biscuits
Dirk's admission created a scandal, the press grabbed hold of the wrong end of the stick
And started to beat about the bush with it
Many pop-stars were arrested for using and possessing tea
Nasty himself was busted by Detective Inspector Brian Plant
Who brought his own, to be on the safe side
The Rutles meanwhile appeared live on TV
Before a worldwide audience of two hundred million with a song that expressed the feeling of the age
Tea was on every-one's lips
# ...In your own time # Love Life
# To live is to live...
# Where there's a will, there's a way
# Love is the meaning of life
# Life is the meaning of love
# Love Life
# Where there's a will, there's a way
# Love is the meaning of life
# Life is the meaning of love
# Love Life
# Everybody!
# Love Life
# Altogether now!
# Love Life
# Love is the meaning of life
# Life is the meaning of love
# Love is the meaning of life
# Life is the meaning of love
# Love is the meaning of life
# Life is the meaning of love
# Love is the meaning of life
# Life is the meaning of love
# Love is the meaning of life
# Hold my hand, yeah, yeah!
A new form there, a slightly different form there of choral music, with a slight difference
We'll be back with Prince Charles in just a moment
"Love Life" is in many ways, the high watermark of their careers
For a start Leggy Mountbatten was rapidly becoming a worry
Always emotionally involved with them
He had far less to do once they ceased touring
Of course he had other artistes
The McKismo Brothers
Arthur Hodson and the Kneecaps
As well as the French Beach Boys: Les Garcons De La Plage
But his decision to put money into bull-fighters as a tax dodge
Plus his unusual personal life
In California he'd been arrested for giving the kiss of life to a rubber raft
Gave increasing grounds for concern
I asked Mick Jagger if he was aware of these tendencies of Leggy's
Oh yeah...Leggy yeah you're kidding, Leggy got around a bit you know
And that was alright, you know, until he started going off with the bull-fighters
I think, that...
That era, and then I think they got a bit disenchanted with him
And he didn't know where to go, you know, you know, in his life I think
And they wanted to control more of themselves, you know
Stig meanwhile had fallen under the influence of Arthur Sultan, the 'Surrey Mystic'
And Sultan had introduced Stig to his Ouija board work
Arthur Sultan now invited The Rutles on a getaway from it all
Table-tapping weekend near Bognor.
As usual the press followed
The Bognor thing was really funny, the "Bognor Express" they called it in the newspapers
Some-one was very late, one of the girls, they were always late
One of them, I can't remember who it was, maybe Nasty
Thought we were trying to get on the Rutles bandwagon, you know, The Rutles mystical bandwagon, which wasn't true at all
We were just as eager to find out what was going on in this board-tapping thing at Bognor as anybody
# In this day and age
# Love is all the rage
# Life goes on, it only goes to show
# It's not my cup of tea
# It's all the same to me
# For we are here today and gone tomorrow...
But while The Rutles sat at the foot of the Surrey mystic
Fate dealt them an appalling blow
It was here that they learnt the shocking news of their manager
Leggy Mountbatten, tired and despondent over the weekend
And unable to raise any friends, went home and tragically...
Accepted a teaching post in Australia
It was a kind of funny weekend that, and then of course at the end of it
We found out that Leggy had gone off to Australia, which kind of put the mockers on the whole thing really
It was a bombshell for The Rutles. They were shocked and stunned
- Well we're shocked - Yes shocked
Shocked
And stunned
Yes stunned
Very stunned
Did Arthur Sultan have any words of encouragement for you?
- No - Well yes
Well, yes and no
He said it took allsorts to make a world
And that we shouldn't worry unduly about were he'd gone
You know he said...we shouldn't get covered with grief at thoughts of Australia
Because...
He did say we could still keep in touch with him by tapping the table
- And postcards - Yes
Very stunned
It's significant that their first major flop 'Tragical History Tour'
Immediately followed the loss of Leggy. It was not the strongest idea for a Rutles film
Four Oxford history professors
On a hitch-hiking tour of tea-shops in the Rutland area
And it was slammed mercilously by the press
# ...Talk about a month of Sundays
# Toffee-nosed wet weekend as far as I can see
# Hey, diddle diddle
# The cat and the fiddle
# Piggy in the middle
# Do a poo-poo
# Bible punching heavyweight
# Evangelistic boxing kangaroo
# Orang-utan and anaconda
# Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, even Pluto, too
# Hey, diddle diddle
# The cat and the fiddle
# Piggy in the middle
# Do a poo-poo
# tekraaam ot tnew eiggip elttil siht
# One man's civilization is another man's jungle, yeah
# They say revolution's in the air
# I'm dancing in my underwear
# 'Cause I don't care
# Hey diddle diddle
# The cat and the fiddle
# Piggy in the middle
# Do a poo-poo Do a poo-poo
# This little piggy went to market
# And this little piggy stayed home
# This little piggy had roast beef
# and this little piggy had none
# This little piggy went Wooo..oooo!
# All the way home
# This little piggy went to market...
I'm sitting in a rented limousine in New York. And it was here...
Well not in the limousine obviously, but in New York
The Rutles came in 1968, to announce the formation of Rutle Corp
We're here in New York to announce the formation of Rutle Corp
Nasty and I have come over on behalf of the other Rutles
Yes they couldn't come
We're setting up Rutle Corp as a kind of enterprise that people can come to us
And we'll help them, we'll give them money
You know, if they want money, they just come to us
Yes, instead of going to a bank, we want to help people to help themselves
Rutle Corp did just that, people helped themselves for years
At one stage they were losing money faster than the British Government
There are continued allegations that Rutle Corp is going bankrupt
Eric Manchester, the Rutles press agent: Are these allegations true?
No, no, they're conjecture you know, it's only a rumour
I think you'll find the way you get success, you always find this kind of rumour. No...
So the stories of the thefts, they're not true also?
No, they're greatly exaggerated, greatly exaggerated
It's bad, you know, things are going
But nothing like the rate, that people indicate
The trouble is that people feel because these boys are The Rutles
People can come in and help themselves to whatever they want. And this is just not on
And we're putting a stop to this, and we're are doing, you know, it's almost dried up
Things have gone, I wont deny it, television sets
The odd car belonging to the company
Has disappeared
But... it's not extreme you know
I did come in once and found that my office had been nicked
But it had been nicked by Ron Decline, who we'd called in
To stop this sort of flow of goods from the building, so that was alright
So once you see this stop do you feel that Rutle Corp will continue into the future?
Absolutely. I feel that once we've put a stop to this sort of bit of petty pilfering
Rutle Corp will last for a very, very, very...
For awhile, three chapters of the Redditch Hell's Angels lived in the basement of Rutle Corp
Before Stig had the nerve to ask them to leave
- Who hurt Stig? - One of the girls
- Who? - Big Valerie here
We're very upset, but there's not much we can do about it
- Why not? - Well...she'll thump me
The Rutles next opened a clothes boutique in London
Which lost nearly a million dollars in only three weeks
Before Nasty blew it up
# I have always thought
# in the back of my mind
# cheese and onions
# I have always thought
# that the world was unkind
# cheese and onions
# Do I have to spell it out?
# C-H-E-E-S-E A-N-D O-N-I-O-N-S
# Oh, no.
# Man and machine
# Keep yourself clean
# Or be a has-been
# Like a dinosaur...
# Man or device
# For everything nice
# You'd better think twice
# At least once more...
# Man and machine
# Keep yourself clean
# Or be a has-been
# Like a dinosaur...
# Man or device
# For everything nice
# You'd better think twice
# At least once more!
# Man and machine
# Keep yourself clean
# Or be a has-been
# Like a dinosaur!
# Man or device
# For everything nice
# You'd better think twice...
Hey there, who's your friend? Get his teeth cleaned
- Oh hello Nasty - Hello Dirk
- Oh that's torn it - What are you doing Stig?
- Just getting out of here - Well I'm gonna get out of here too
Personal problems now began to split The Rutles into smithereens
They would sing together, but they wouldn't talk. Pretty soon they wouldn't even sing
By March 1969 things had got so bad within the group that both Dirk and Nasty got married
Dirk had become enamoured with Martini
A French actress who spoke no English and precious little French
When they married in London the service was conducted in Spanish
Italian and Chinese, just to be on the safe side
I love you...
It's you I love...
Today is our wedding day...
For you always I will wai...
G, B, B, E...
F...
- D - D...D...
That's nice...
# Time goes by, as we all know
# Naturally
# People come and people go
# Naturally
# Let's be natural
# Ever since the world began
# Let's be natural
# Every woman, every man
# Let's be natural
# Has followed nature's plan
# Let's be natural
# Oh, yeah
Nasty meanwhile visited an exhibition of broken art
At the Pretentious Gallery, Soho
The art exhibits had all been dropped out of tall buildings and then put on display
Amongst the little piles of rubble, Nasty found the artist herself
Chastity, a simple German girl, whose father had invented WW2
Nasty adored her
They announced their engagement, next day at a press conference held in his shower
What are you doing this for?
We're doing this for peace, and basically to show that the world is...
You know, going astray, and is dripping
- What are you doing? - We're getting wet in a shower
Because basically we talked it over, Chastity and myself
And we came to the conclusion
That civilisation is nothing more than an effective sewage system
And so by the use of plumbing we hope to demonstrate this to the world
Stig meanwhile, had hidden in the background so much
That in 1969 a rumour went around that he was dead
Several so called 'facts' helped the emergence of this rumour
One: he...he never said anything publicly
Even as the 'quiet one', he'd not said a word since 1966
Two: on the cover of their latest album, 'Shabby Road' he's wearing no trousers
An Italian way of indicating death
Three: Nasty supposedly sings "I buried Stig" on "I Am The Waitress"
In fact he sings "E burres stigano"
Which is very bad Spanish for "Have you a water buffalo?"
Four: on the cover of the Sgt. Rutter album
Stig is leaning in the exact position of a dying Yeti from the 'Rutland Book of the Dead'
Five: if you sing the title of "Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band" backwards
it is supposed to sound very like "Stig has been dead for ages honestly"
In fact it sounds uncannily like "dnab bulc ylno srettur tnaegres"
Palatable nonsense
Stig was of course, far from dead, although not in fact, far from Esher
He'd fallen in bed with Gertrude Strange
A large breasted biologically accommodating American girl
Who's father had invented the limpet mine
When they met, it was lust at first sight
Barry meanwhile had also spent a year in bed as a tax dodge
Eric Manchester thinks that he'd either received appalling financial advice
or that he was desperately trying to start a "Barry is also dead" rumour
When he finally got up Rutle Corps was in a perilous financial plight
Nasty had flown back in a hurry from his honeymoon rally in Nuremburg
To meet the most feared promoter in the world
Ron Decline
Decline had a reputation as a hard man
His only weak spot was dishonesty
Any-one was free to inspect his books, but no-one could find his accounts
He struck terror into the hearts of his subordinates
People would commit suicide rather than meet him
In business his left hand never knew who his right hand was doing
Nasty adored him, he was a man after his own wallet
Decline promised The Rutles that if they let him take care of their royalties
They would never have to worry about money again
Stig meanwhile was accepting the financial advice of Billy Kodak
Whilst Dirk had invited Arnold Schwarzenweisengreenenbluenbraunenburger
To handle his end of the name, Barry was consulting the I Ching every three and a half minutes
There was a plethora of lawyers
Suddenly every-one became amazingly
I remember, I'd get up in the morning, sue some-one, check in the papers I hadn't been fired
Go to the office, sue some-one, pick up the morning's writ, sue the bank
Go out to lunch, sue the restaurant
Get back in, collect the writs that had been received that afternoon
Read the papers, phone the papers, sue the papers, and go home
To the wife
They're asking me "Where's the money, where's the money?" I mean I don't know where the money is
I've never been good with figures, you know that
I don't know anything about math, it was never my good subject
I don't know where the money is, but if you need money, I'll give you money
But this... this, really, surprises me...
I'm really shocked
Because I thought we had something here a lot stronger than just business
I mean you know, I love you more than I love my own family, I do
I wanna protect you, I wanna help you
I wanna protect you from the outside world
Protect you...protect you from... ...people like me
At the final meeting a hundred and thirty four legal people and accountants
Filed into a small eight by ten room
Only eighty seven came out alive
The black hole of Savile Row
Had taken toll of some of the finest merchant banking brains of a generation
Luckily that's not very serious
But The Rutles were obviously self-destructing fast
In the midst of all this public bickering
'Let It Rot' was released as a film, a album and a lawsuit
In 1970 Dirk sued Stig, Nasty and Barry
Barry sued Dirk, Nasty and Stig
Nasty sued Barry, Dirk and Stig
And Stig sued himself accidentally
It was the beginning of a golden era for lawyers
But for The Rutles, live on a London rooftop
It was the beginning of the end
# Workin' up a fever in a one-horse town
# Was a jockey by the name of Joe
# He didn't have a lot of what you might call luck
# But he had a lot of get up n' go
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
# Tall in the saddle in a one-horse town
# Joe, he knew someday he'd hit the road
# He traded with a dealer for a pick-up truck
# And went lookin' for a medium load
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
# Ketchup n' go Ketchup n' go
# Ketchup and go back home
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
# Ketchup n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
# Get up n' go Get up n' go
# Get up n' go back home
Like any of the other enormous music...popular music phenomenom’s
Sinatra, and Presley, and The Rutles, and then, you know, some people say...
Well you know "Its time, every ten years, who will be the next Rutles?" you know
I don't think there will be a next Rutles
Sixteen years after the fresh-faced prefab four first burst into the public eye
And eight years after they split up, just where are The Rutles today?
Dirk has formed with his wife Martini, a punk rock group
called The Punk Floyd
He sings, and she doesn't
Nasty has turned his back on the world and sits with his thoughts and his memories
Barry is a hairdresser in the Reading area, with two fully equipped salons of his own
While Stig works for Air India as a air-hostess
Fame is a fickle mistress
Just how many people remember The Rutles today?
We asked the public just what is a Rutle?
Excuse me madam, we're doing a documentary, and I wonder if you'd answer a few questions
Sorry I don't answer questions
It wont take a second of your time, really, we've just got the camera rolling right away here
We're from England, and we're making a documentary and we just want one question, please
- Alright - Thank you very much, just stand right here ok?
- Who were The Rutles? - I don't know
- Come on you must know - No I'm sorry I don't know
- Yes you do know - No well I don't know
- Who were The Rutles? - I don't know
- You do know! - No I don't know!
- You do know! The Rutles! - I don't know who they are!
- Who were The Rutles? Please tell us - I don't know who they are
- Who were The Rutles? - I don't know!
- You do know! - I don't!
- You do know! Who were The Rutles?! - I don't know!
Who were The Rutles?!
The Rutles were a mop-top English pop quartet of the sixties who set the foot of the world a-tapping
With their catchy melodies, their whacky Liverpool humour and their zany off-the-wall antics
Epitomised in such movies as "A Hard Days Rut" and "Ouch!"
Dirk and Nasty, the acknowledged leaders of the group
Were perfectly complimented by Stig, the quiet one, and Barry, the noisy one
To form a heart-warming, cheeky, lovable, talented
Non-Jewish group who would gladden the hearts of the world
- Thank you very much - In 1962 they played The Cavern.
- After that they spent several months in Hamburg. - Yes, thank you very much indeed
Then in 1962 they released their first single "Twist and Rut"
Yes thank you very much, thank you
Will you shut up?!
From New York back to London
I'm standing on the crossing, where the Rutles legend ended
Here it was that the prefab four Dirk, Nasty, Stig and Barry
The Rutles, the singing phenomena, who made the sixties what they are today
Here it was that indeed......!
Mick, why do you think The Rutles broke up?
Why do I think they did? Why did The Rutles break up?
Women. Just women, getting in the way
Cherchez la femme, you know
Do you think they'll ever get back together again?
I hope not
# People were proud in Doubleback Alley
# Neighbours were loud, but ever so pally
# People would shout, joking about
# The smoke and the soot, Mother would put
# The milk bottles out
# We had a good time in Doubleback Alley
# With fences to climb, and Father O'Malley
# To clip your ear, and steer you clear
# Of the funny man in the ice cream van
# Who talked so queer
# Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
# Happy, smiling faces if I flog my memory
# Plenty to do in Doubleback Alley
# Play peek-a-boo with Saccharine Sally
# Bouncing a ball against a wall
# Showing her drawers, "You come indoors!"
# Her dad would call
# Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
# Happy, smiling faces if...
Subtitles produced by Robiko