1 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,375 How about a beer, chief? 2 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,504 How about an ID? 3 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,507 An ID? 4 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,635 That's very flattering! 5 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,262 Wait till I tell the missus. 6 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,353 Ah, military ID. 7 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:05,190 First Sergeant Walter Keller, born 1944. 8 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,943 That makes you 38. 9 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,279 - Must've fought in Vietnam? - Oh yeah. 10 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,658 - What was it like? - It was gross. 11 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:19,204 Yeah, that's what they say. War is... gross. 12 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,832 I'm sorry, soldier. 13 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,460 This is the thanks we get. 14 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:38,461 ♪ Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. ♪ 15 00:01:39,062 --> 00:01:44,362 ♪ Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. ♪ 16 00:01:45,763 --> 00:01:49,063 ♪ Wouldn't you like to get away? ♪ 17 00:01:51,064 --> 00:01:56,964 ♪ Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name ♪ 18 00:01:59,066 --> 00:02:02,466 ♪ And they're always glad you came. ♪ 19 00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:08,267 ♪ You want to be where you can see our troubles are all the same. ♪ 20 00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:13,068 ♪ You want to be where everybody knows your name. ♪ 21 00:02:14,069 --> 00:02:18,869 ♪ You want to go where people know, people are all the same. ♪ 22 00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:23,470 ♪ You want to go where everybody knows your name. ♪ 23 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,910 Sumner, this is crazy. 24 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,287 Diane, we're about to be married. 25 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,790 Married! Congratulations! Let's celebrate with a drink. 26 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,710 I think not. 27 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,170 I give it six months. 28 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:55,926 Perhaps we won't have children right away. 29 00:02:56,718 --> 00:03:00,430 - Come on. Let's sit here. - We have a plane to catch. 30 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:05,685 I insist you have my grandmother's antique gold wedding ring. 31 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:10,815 Didn't you say it's still on your ex-wife's finger? I don't need it. 32 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:15,529 - You're enough for me. - True. But symbols are important. 33 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:20,200 Let me call Barbara and see if she's home. The phone's back here. 34 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:24,871 As long as we're here, let's celebrate with some champagne. 35 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,428 Hello? Sam? 36 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,432 Are you Sam? 37 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,601 - Yes. - Yes, he's here. 38 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,978 Someone named Vicki. 39 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,729 No. 40 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,900 No, she knows you're here. I told her you're here. 41 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,568 Well... 42 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,238 Now, look... 43 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:03,034 I'm sorry, I was wrong. He had to step out. 44 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:04,244 Where? 45 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:09,332 Well, I think what happened is he... 46 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,545 ...he had... to go to mime class. 47 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,136 Yes, I'll take a message. 48 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,434 You're welcome. 49 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:32,313 - Well? - You're a magnificent pagan beast. 50 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,399 Thanks. What's the message? 51 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,780 Listen, I didn't like doing that. 52 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:45,201 I'm sorry. If I didn't own this place, I'd fire me on the spot. 53 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,996 For lying for me, I'll buy you your first drink. 54 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,250 I'd like a bottle of your best champagne. 55 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,419 It wasn't that great a lie. 56 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:59,049 - No, we'll pay for it. - We're on our way to get married. 57 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:02,635 Then this is on me. Congratulations. 58 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,555 Barbara was home. She said I can come over. 59 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,599 Well, do you want me to go with you? 60 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,310 No, it could get a trifle sticky. 61 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:14,481 Besides, if she saw the dazzling beauty who's about to succeed her, 62 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,483 it would break her heart again. 63 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,651 Sumner, I'm not beautiful. 64 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,320 Blasphemy. 65 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,906 So where's the ceremony gonna be? 66 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:26,451 - Tomorrow, in Barbados. - Nice. 67 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,163 I'm Dr Sumner Sloane, Professor of World Literature at BU. 68 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,377 He has an article in Harper's. 69 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:40,465 Diane's been my teaching assistant for two years. 70 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,551 Today, I was sitting in my office with Diane. 71 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:47,514 I looked up from my Proust, she had her nose in her Yeats. 72 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:54,020 I said to myself, "I would be crazy to let this girl get out of my life." 73 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,440 So, right there on the spot, I said, "Let's get married." 74 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:03,571 What he actually said was, "Come with me and be my love, 75 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,407 and we will some new pleasures prove." 76 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:09,577 - That's Donne. - I certainly hope so. 77 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:14,207 No. John Donne, the poet. 78 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,001 Well, that's lovely. 79 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:21,172 Listen, I must dash. I'll be back in ten minutes. 80 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,800 - Excuse me, what's your name? - Sam. 81 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:27,720 Listen, Sam, old man, I have an errand to run. 82 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:32,767 Diane will stay here. I'd appreciate it if you would keep an eye on her. 83 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:36,271 For you, Sumner, old man, I'll keep both my eyes on her. 84 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:42,652 Sumner, am I stupid to let you go see a woman you were once in love with? 85 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,780 Darling, I'm leaving you alone in a bar. 86 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,325 - Which one of us is the stupider? - Too close to call. 87 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:55,915 In any case, you sit at the bar and chat with Sam while I'm gone. 88 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,168 I'll be back before you know it with your wedding ring. 89 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,550 He's quite a fella, your fiancé. 90 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:09,804 Listen, you don't have to make conversation with me. 91 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,849 I'm not in the habit of talking with bartenders. 92 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:16,144 I understand. One's trying to move into my neighbourhood. 93 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,189 Call that a football team? 94 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:23,943 - What's wrong, Coach? - The Patriots did it again. 95 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,321 This is the worst draft yet. 96 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,406 They got a first-round pick. 97 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,200 Did they get a jackrabbit for the backfield? No. 98 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:35,288 A gunslinger at quarterback? No. A linebacker they get. 99 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:38,124 I've seen a good linebacker turn a team around. 100 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,876 Yeah, me, too. 101 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,255 - Hi. - Hello. 102 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,175 I hope nobody told you the bus goes by here. 103 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,677 She'll be here for a while. 104 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,848 Excuse me. I hate to keep asking for special attention, 105 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:57,393 but could you not discuss my private life with everyone? 106 00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:00,980 - What would you like me to tell him? - I don't care. 107 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,026 - She's a hooker. - Yeah? 108 00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,447 - Thank you. - Don't mention it. 109 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,783 - Carla's late again. - Nuts. 110 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,914 OK, I'm late! My kid was throwing up all over the place. 111 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,957 You don't buy that excuse, I quit. 112 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:23,252 I don't work for a man who has no compassion for my children. 113 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:26,756 And you're not exactly swamped here. I'm usually punctual. 114 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,384 If you don't like it, fine. This ain't such a great job. 115 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,552 I'm gonna change. 116 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,348 Think I was too hard on her? 117 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,976 - Hiya, Coach. - Hi, Carla. 118 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,979 Patriots finally got the linebacker they needed. 119 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:45,233 Are you nuts? They're up to their ears in linebackers! 120 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,402 That's true. They do have a lot. 121 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,200 I love to see a woman 122 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:57,453 who isn't afraid to take her luggage out for a drink. 123 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,289 She doesn't want to be disturbed. 124 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,501 Well, tell Her Nibs I'm sorry. 125 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,296 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm! 126 00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:11,133 - Norm, what do you know? - Not enough. 127 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,803 What do you think of the Patriots' draft? 128 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,430 They need linebackers like I need antlers. 129 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,475 That new linebacker will put 'em in the Super Bowl. 130 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,437 He'll probably do that. I got an awful headache. 131 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,650 Sox lost again today, Sam. Sure could have used you. 132 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,610 Not in the shape I'm in, Norm. 133 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,113 You, miss! 134 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:36,284 Wouldn't you love to see Sammy flinging the horsehide? 135 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,660 Flinging what? 136 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:42,373 Don't you know who he is? He was one of the best pitchers in baseball. 137 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,085 Samuel "Mayday" Malone. 138 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:50,339 I coached this kid in Pawtucket in double-A, and up here with the Red Sox. 139 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:53,593 He was one of the best relievers ever to play the game. 140 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,263 - Take it easy, Coach. - No, I mean it, he was the very best. 141 00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:00,349 - Sure as the earth is round. - You don't believe that, Coach. 142 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:05,896 I didn't until I saw those pictures from the space shuttle. 143 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:13,279 Sam once struck out Cash, Kaline and Freehan with a tying run on second. 144 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,284 How long is the wimp convention in town? 145 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,453 Carla, heel. 146 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:26,751 If you were so good, why aren't you still playing? 147 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:31,172 I developed an elbow problem. I bent it too much. 148 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,673 You were a drunk? 149 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:36,302 Are you kidding? He was a great drunk. 150 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,054 Anything he did, it was great. 151 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:41,974 I was not a great drunk. I was a good drunk. 152 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,726 Are you drunk now? 153 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,853 I haven't had a drink in three years. 154 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:50,316 I'm proud you licked it, Sammy. Must've been hell. 155 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,196 - Why do you own a bar? - I bought it when I was a drunk. 156 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,948 I held on to it for sentimental reasons. 157 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,786 You, miss. What you reading? 158 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,370 A book? 159 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,417 Excuse me. Where is your bathroom? 160 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,461 Next to my bedroom. 161 00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:13,506 Down the hall. 162 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,889 So, what's Goldilocks's story? 163 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,016 - Never mind. - Come on, Sam. 164 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:28,270 - Why can't you tell us? - Yeah, what's the big deal? 165 00:11:28,395 --> 00:11:32,358 Take it easy. Sam's shy about these things. 166 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,945 - I'll fill you in. She's a hooker. - She's not a hooker. 167 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,405 Well, not in the traditional sense. 168 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,324 She's not a hooker at all. 169 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:43,994 Finest young lady I ever met. My head is killing me. 170 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,790 Look, she does not want to be bothered. 171 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,625 She's waiting for her fiancé. 172 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:53,921 They're going to the Caribbean to get married. OK? 173 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,395 They missed you. 174 00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,037 Another beer, Norm? 175 00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:30,416 Well, yeah, one more quick one. Thanks. 176 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,254 - He's not back yet? - No. 177 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,715 Why don't you make a run for it? 178 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,802 You're a bitter little person, aren't you? 179 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,181 Yeah. Well, I have a right to be. 180 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,810 - My husband left me with four kids. - Four kids? 181 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:53,606 Right. And after I paid his way through school hustling drinks. 182 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,733 What school did your husband go to? 183 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,610 The Colletti Academy. 184 00:12:58,485 --> 00:12:59,903 TV repair. 185 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,491 So the minute he graduated, he left me. 186 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:09,663 Said I wouldn't fit in with the other repairmen's wives. Big shot! 187 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:14,877 - He sounds like a cur. - Yeah. Well, he's not all bad. 188 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,921 He still fixes my set and only bills me for parts. 189 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,968 If it's my missus, I'm on my way. 190 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:28,057 Cheers. Yeah, just a sec. Is there an Ernie Pantusso? 191 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,142 - That's you, Coach. - Speaking. 192 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,147 I'd like two draughts and a Scotch on the rocks. 193 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,984 That group's arguing about the sweatiest movie ever made. 194 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,652 The what? 195 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,364 What movie did people sweat most in? 196 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,115 That's easy. Rocky II. 197 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,744 No, not even close. Body Heat. Sweat city. 198 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:51,705 Ben Hur. The boys in that galley sweat like pigs. 199 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:54,875 Alien. Buckets. 200 00:13:56,085 --> 00:14:00,964 The night before my wedding and I'm in the middle of a sweat contest. 201 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:05,469 Speaking of sweat, here's a little-known fact. 202 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:10,099 Women have fewer sweat glands than men, but they're larger, more active. 203 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:15,854 - The human body. - Consequently, they sweat more. 204 00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:17,189 Really? 205 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:22,111 Sure. How about you, miss? What are your perspiration patterns? 206 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,704 Sumner, I'm so glad to see you. 207 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:37,209 These men have been arguing over the sweatiest movie ever made. 208 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:40,087 - Cool Hand Luke. - That's one! 209 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:46,051 What happened to you? It's been over an hour. 210 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:49,346 Diane, that woman is extraordinary. 211 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,934 - Did she give you the ring? - I couldn't take it. 212 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:57,980 - We've got a plane to catch. - Diane, I love you. 213 00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:01,984 But when I was with Barbara, something stirred inside me. 214 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,444 We can talk about it on the flight. 215 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,697 I can't fly to Barbados this confused. 216 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,616 It's OK, the pilot knows the way. 217 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,746 I love your wit. 218 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,749 You're a beautiful child. 219 00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:23,171 - Let's go to Barbados. - Let's go to Barbados. 220 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:28,093 - Who isn't here? - Me. 221 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,472 Cheers. Just a minute. 222 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:40,230 If you're not, I apologise, but is your name Sumner Sloane? 223 00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:41,481 Yes, it is. 224 00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:48,614 Hello? 225 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:53,827 No, it's alright. She understands and I understand. 226 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:57,998 Barbara, that's very human of you. I'll be right over. 227 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,796 And, Barbara, your depth frightens me. 228 00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:09,384 She insists that you have the ring. 229 00:16:09,509 --> 00:16:11,845 We won't have time to catch our flight. 230 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:16,475 You call and get us on a later flight. I'll get the ring. 231 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:18,560 - Sumner... - Yes? 232 00:16:18,685 --> 00:16:22,356 - How about a kiss? - Maybe. I'll play it by ear. 233 00:16:48,256 --> 00:16:52,344 Cheer up, cookie. He may have been in an accident. 234 00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:57,933 I'm knocking off, Sam. Home to my book. 235 00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:02,229 - Still working on that novel? - Yeah, coming on six years now. 236 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:05,440 I got a feeling I might finish it tonight. 237 00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:09,611 - You're writing a novel? - No, reading one. 238 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,033 Wait a second. I want you to take Norm home. 239 00:17:16,576 --> 00:17:19,454 - Norm! - I'm up. 240 00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:22,165 One quick one then I really gotta fly. 241 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,378 - Coach will take you home. - I'll give you a lift. 242 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,338 - Goodnight, Sam. - Goodnight. 243 00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:32,342 Coach, we stop somewhere, I'll buy you a beer. 244 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:34,970 Norm, you're in here every night. 245 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,514 Doesn't your wife wonder where you're at? 246 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,808 Wonders. Doesn't care. 247 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:48,275 Night, Sam. Thanks for letting me bend your ear. 248 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,652 That's OK, Ron. Goodnight. 249 00:17:56,324 --> 00:17:59,703 You must get real tired of hearing people cry in their beer. 250 00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:07,043 I wonder why people tell bartenders their problems. 251 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:10,422 - It's kind of sad, isn't it? - Yeah. 252 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:14,509 These poor wretches with no one in the world to turn to 253 00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:17,554 but some stranger who mixes drinks. 254 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,849 I met Sumner two years ago. 255 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:26,813 I was so flattered when he went out of his way 256 00:18:26,938 --> 00:18:29,691 to pick me as his teaching assistant. 257 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,278 I'm still kind of in awe of him, you know. 258 00:18:33,945 --> 00:18:37,741 He's the most brilliant man I've ever known. 259 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:42,954 For the last two years, he's been the most important thing in my life, 260 00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:45,332 and now I may be losing him. 261 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:47,375 Come on. 262 00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:52,297 Look, you are a very attractive young lady. 263 00:18:56,551 --> 00:18:57,636 Thank you. 264 00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,513 Yeah. Sure. 265 00:19:01,973 --> 00:19:06,436 You're gonna find someone a lot better than that goofy professor. 266 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,275 Goofy? Are you talking about Sumner? 267 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,320 - I'm talking about Sumner. - You don't like Sumner. 268 00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,405 I don't like Sumner. 269 00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:20,825 - You know why you don't like Sumner? - Because he's goofy. 270 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,954 No. Because he's everything you're not. 271 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:30,543 He's well bred, highly educated, he's distinguished, he's urbane... 272 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,756 - You left out "goofy". - I did not leave out "goofy"! 273 00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:37,926 - You were coming to it? - I should have expected this. 274 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:41,554 That goof will be on the cover of Saturday Review someday. 275 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,432 That goof is probably gonna be on a beach tomorrow, 276 00:19:44,557 --> 00:19:46,685 rubbing suntan oil on his ex-wife. 277 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,983 I've had a real rough day, 278 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:57,445 and I'm now going to reward myself by getting out of here. 279 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,950 When Sumner comes back, will you say I've gone home? 280 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,284 Fine. 281 00:20:04,577 --> 00:20:07,789 I forgot to change the reservations again. 282 00:20:07,914 --> 00:20:11,209 - Use this one. - Thank you. 283 00:20:21,594 --> 00:20:26,433 I'd like to change the reservations for Mr and Mrs Sumner Sloane, 284 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,601 flight 481 to Barbados. 285 00:20:33,606 --> 00:20:37,277 They did? Are you sure? 286 00:20:41,614 --> 00:20:43,199 No, thank you. 287 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:52,375 - I'm sorry. - How did you know? 288 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,544 Bartenders' intuition. 289 00:20:55,336 --> 00:21:00,216 A shame such an astute observer of human nature is stuck behind a bar. 290 00:21:00,341 --> 00:21:02,510 That's what I think. 291 00:21:02,635 --> 00:21:06,139 Well, why not bring your remarkable powers to bear 292 00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:09,225 and enlighten me as to what my future holds? 293 00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:17,233 I'm probably gonna regret this, but you could work here. 294 00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:27,452 Sam. 295 00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:29,996 Shut up for a second, will you? 296 00:21:30,121 --> 00:21:32,457 I need... 297 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:36,419 I need two vodka gimlets, one straight up, one blended, rocks, 298 00:21:36,544 --> 00:21:39,464 Chivas rocks, soda, a Comfort Manhattan, no cherry, 299 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:43,968 a white wine spritzer, an Old Bushmill Irish decaf, no sugar. 300 00:21:44,093 --> 00:21:48,806 What makes you think I would ever work in a place like this? 301 00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:51,976 Simple. You can't go back to the professor for work. 302 00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:55,188 I need a waitress. You need a job. 303 00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:58,024 You like the people here. You think they like you. 304 00:22:00,526 --> 00:22:05,615 And the phrase "magnificent pagan beast" has never left your mind. 305 00:22:09,702 --> 00:22:11,204 Now, look, buster. 306 00:22:11,996 --> 00:22:14,999 I do need a job. And I'll find one. 307 00:22:15,124 --> 00:22:18,711 And you can bet that it won't be waiting tables. 308 00:22:21,589 --> 00:22:23,758 What are you qualified to do? 309 00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,177 Nothing. 310 00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:32,809 But somewhere, there is a job that I'm perfect for, 311 00:22:32,934 --> 00:22:34,560 that's perfect for me. 312 00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:37,814 I'll find it. And when I do, I'll know it. 313 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:40,441 Carla, what am I making? 314 00:22:41,484 --> 00:22:45,154 Two vodka gimlets, one straight up, one blended, rocks, 315 00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:48,741 Chivas rocks, soda, a Comfort Manhattan, no cherry, 316 00:22:48,866 --> 00:22:51,494 a white wine spritzer with a twist, 317 00:22:51,619 --> 00:22:55,873 one Old Bushmill lrish decaf, hold the sugar. 318 00:23:07,677 --> 00:23:09,053 Your first customers. 319 00:23:09,512 --> 00:23:11,764 - Wish me luck. - Luck. 320 00:23:13,516 --> 00:23:15,476 Hello. Welcome to Cheers. 321 00:23:15,601 --> 00:23:20,690 My name is Diane. I will be serving you. Why don't you sit down here? 322 00:23:20,815 --> 00:23:23,067 I should tell you, parenthetically, 323 00:23:23,192 --> 00:23:27,155 that you are the first people that I have ever served. 324 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:31,033 If anyone had told me a week ago that I would be doing this, 325 00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:33,327 I would have thought them insane. 326 00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:37,623 When Sam offered me the job, I laughed in his face. 327 00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,584 But then it occurred to me,... 328 00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:44,380 ...here I am, I'm a student. 329 00:23:44,505 --> 00:23:48,801 Not just in an academic sense, but a student of life. 330 00:23:48,926 --> 00:23:53,306 And where better than here to study life in all its many facets? 331 00:23:53,431 --> 00:24:00,813 People meet in bars, they part, they rejoice, they suffer. 332 00:24:01,439 --> 00:24:05,109 They come here to be with their own kind. 333 00:24:06,652 --> 00:24:08,696 What can I get you? 334 00:24:09,113 --> 00:24:12,658 Where is police? We have lost our luggage.